133 - AMERICA VS CANADA ft. Uncle Dijon
02:02:50 Share

Ryan Reynolds here for, I guess, my 100th Mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited premium wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two or three times that much? I'm

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming here. Give it a try at midmobile.com slash save whenever you're ready. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. See details. Oh, gee, look. Oh, it looks so...

Hey guys, just wanted to say thank you one more time and also wish you all a happy Thanksgiving from all of Unsub. Enjoy your turkey day.

Enjoy the shopping. Enjoy the chaos that is Black Friday. Reach out to family. Reach out to friends. Say hi. Be thankful and just enjoy life. And I know some people out there for the holidays are going to have a more difficult time. Just know it is a speed bump in the road of life and you just have to pick yourself up. And if you can't pick yourself up by yourself, lean on people. You have a community here. You have your friends. You have your family. We want to watch you all succeed. I do at least. And I hope

I hope for the best of each and every one of you. Chase your dreams, reach your goals, shoot for the stars. And if you need anything at all, and I try to respond. I do. I try to respond to DMs and emails, but I appreciate each and every one of you. We all do. Cheers. Happy Thanksgiving. Okay.

Is that how it's going to start? I didn't hear an ah. That kid covered in peanut butter. Have you seen it? He's sitting there and the mom's like, are you okay? And he's just, ah.

It's such a funny video. It's like a two-year-old. Pretty husky. Not even two. He's like one and a half. Pretty husky one and a half year old. Like covered in peanut butter. Like all of his skin. Like he's hiding from the fucking predator. Right? And the mother walks in and she's like, what are you doing? And this kid has a fucking hand full of...

I mean of course he's fucking husky. He's got a Plenty of peanut butter is allergic and he's slowly Jamie pull that up real quick Okay, everyone ready sorry one two three

We're so good at that. Hi, everyone. I'm good. No, never mind. I'm just happy to fucking do it again. This is amazing. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast. We're joined today by Mr. B-Live Bubble Bath, Uncle Dijon, Brandon Berberba, and the Fat Electrician, your new hosts,

Other than this fucking guy right here. He's Canadian. He doesn't kill. He's Canadian, yeah. It doesn't kill. I'm a refugee. A snow Mexican refugee. That's exactly the title of the episode. Snow Mexican refugee. It's going to be you in an orange jumpsuit. Behind a cage. It's like, uh-oh. Let's get right into that. Why'd you leave?

Uncle Tashawn, what's up, man? You're going to be the most different of the content creators that we've had on here because yours is very flashy. Yeah, that too. You ain't like us. Use as a different breed, good sir. No, your content is based off of just cutting out stuff. I don't even know how long your content takes to make because he puts effort into it.

but what degree is he keyframed these animations? - I just hit record, man. - It's like me. - That's fucking live. - It's not that hard, guys. - It's like me in the bedroom. 30 seconds, a lot of effort. - I am drenched in sweat, but I am done.

Welcome back to America. Yeah, thank you. We're glad to have you finally on. You've been running with the crew for the last couple of days watching the shit show that we are. Yeah. Yeah, what's that like? How's this compared to Canada? That's nicer. How's it different? It is nicer. How's it different? What do you like more? What do you like less? More down here? Yeah.

- People, definitely the people. 100%. - Fuck, Canada? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that sounds like really cliche, but if I say hi to somebody where I'm from now, they just like hold onto their bag and keep walking. I'm like, well, okay. - Is there more crime in Canada than I was led to believe? - I think certain parts are bad. Like there's places in BC that's horrendous murder rate. - The only place I got robbed was in Canada. In an alley. It was the only time I've been robbed in my life. - Did they say sorry? - They pulled out a knife. - Sorry, I need this more than you do.

Yeah, I was like walking through an alley. I was drunk trying to find my hotel and I had no, and my phone was dead. So I was like, I'll take a shortcut through this alley. Did you do it to some hands when you did it to him? Yeah.

Don't stab me, sir. Don't stab me. They pulled out a knife and they're like, give me your money. I was like, I really don't have much money. I gotta get out of here. Too drunk to even try to fight Canada and Vancouver. Of course it was a knife. Yeah, it was Vancouver. Yeah, I don't want a knife fight right now. No, and I'm drunk. I was like, this is gonna go one way. Me falling on that knife. No matter how it plays out, I'm just gonna get myself stabbed. You're gonna be that guy in the fucking mall video like, aw, damn it. It's gonna play out in my head. I'm like, like, chk, chk.

Like Sherlock Holmes? Yeah, like a Guy Ritchie. Discombobulate. Yeah, discombobulate. And then it goes to, okay, go. Just one little poke. Yeah, just one poke. Oh, that sucks.

And that's what would happen. I already knew that. Dude, that makes me think of the meme where it's like the robber trying to get the $20 in my wallet when I just mag dump him with 9mm worth, like a dollar a piece. It's like, knowing damn well I just spent more in ammo than I ever got. Why didn't I give him the $20? Oh, I hate that. Mag dump him with 5.7. 5.7 is $4 a bullet. One. Two. Son of a bitch.

Bitch. Three. He's not going down. At 12 bucks, I'm going to stop. I'm cutting it. You just throw the rest of the money at him. You're taking your wallet and he's on the ground bleeding. I'm sorry. Yeah, dude. This is fucked. That's why I have a bayonet on my EDC. A triangle fucking blade bayonet. Goddamn right. Just like the founding fathers intended. So Mr. Dijon. What? Dijon. That's it. Yeah, that's it.

What got you into, like, when you started content creation, what was your idea? Where you're like, I want to do this style, or what led to that? Well, it started off by dragging a baby's faces through rocks. Which? Punching my dog. Not punching my dog. That's brutal. You punched your dog. I did that after. What the fuck is wrong with you? Jesus Christ. I thought Americans were bad. I want that shirt back. You can't represent me. Don't say that with the shirt on. Jesus Christ. Fucking hell. The dog was the line, not dragging the baby through.

Dear God, you piece of shit. That was crazy when we first started talking about that. Everybody's seen the baby doll through the gravel video. I had no idea that was you. None of us did. We were talking about that yesterday. Everybody's seen that video. It was me and my dog, man. How many views did that get?

I think it's because it got reposted so much. Like TikTok, it did 20 million on TikTok. It did about 20 million on Instagram. But so many people uploaded it to meme pages. I got reached out by a lot of people. Hey, can we repost this? It's probably everywhere. It's probably one of those viral videos. It's probably over a billion then. Because you can't actually see how many stitches and reposts and shit. 100%. I'm not drinking one of those. $5 a fucking day.

What the fuck is that? It is a peanut- Sorry, you guys can pull it. Peanut butter cup inspired stout. It- What? If I smell it, I'll die. Just smell it. Okay, don't smell it. Smell it. Oh, yeah, you can get it out. Oh, yeah, never mind. Don't. Oh, my God. Way to bring that drink into the house. He starts melting with the goddamn Wizard of Oz. Eli's like, I disagree with what you just said. I just keep throwing it at him.

Let's edit out the part where we say he's allergic to peanuts so nobody fucking assassinates him. Yeah, exactly. Nah, keep it in. Keep it in. Send your Jeff peanut butter. No, I hate that. I hate that so much. It might be a lot better if it wasn't fucking room temperature. It's 13%. It's as strong as shit. 13% fucking drinkable. I don't...

Sick joke. I'm not going to do that. Shut up. Oh, fuck, man. Shut up. It's funny how many people we run into in this friend group where it's like, oh, you did that thing. Where it's like we all saw the fucking baby, the gravel, and then fist bumping the dog. And then you come hang out and we're like...

you're the guy. You did it. So that was another reason why I switched content. My biggest fear was I'd be walking around a shopping mall and somebody would be like, hey, I saw what you did to that baby. And I'd be like, oh, what did you explain? They'd say it in front of a cop. Yeah, exactly. No, no, no, no. What did you do to that fucking baby? Wait, wait, wait.

I don't want to be known as that guy. You're the baby guy. I'd rather just beat up kittens instead and be known as that. You're the bear and moose fighter now. I'm the baby dragger. You killed the wolves. So wait, you went from that and you're like, okay, now I'm going to start animating this and you're just like...

- It actually started as just a complete one-off 'cause I used to do skits and everything on TikTok. And when somebody said, "What's the biggest animal you can fight?" "Bear-handed." I was like, "Oh, grizzly bear." And then I just went in and I ended up climbing a tree and RKO-ing the bear onto a bed of spikes or something. So that was the first one. It did really well. And then I thought,

I'll do one with a shark and then that one did really well It just kind of became like a shtick and then I had to switch it up after a while and do like live footage ones They're like the Texas Longhorn one that I filmed last time I was here. That was good Yeah, and then and then I'll do other ones where like I'll jump in someone else's video and tackle them and I always ask permission So stop tagging them in it saying that I didn't like I did something rude I asked them permission first or I'll find you. Have you done a T-Rex yet?

Like raptors or T-Rexes? I haven't done a T-Rex. I've done one where I... This is getting so infantile. Have you done a fucking dinosaur? What about a Tonka truck? I love Tonka trucks. I like trains. I like trains. Have you suplexed a train before?

Dude, I will tell you... Eli, you and autism. Dude, have you seen the autistic kid in England that does the trains? Oh my god, yes. That is one of the most feel-good content. Yeah, he puts the cam on him. He's like, oh, they're gonna come by and they're gonna blow the whistle. It's like, god damn, this kid is so happy. Francis, that's his name. Yeah, I wish I was as happy about anything as he is about trains. He's a fucking...

He's just down for it. They are the most happy you will see somebody. It's like autism and whatever that-tism is. It's just heaven for them because it's the trains. That one dude, there's a guy that did the elevators. He just goes in elevators. His favorite thing is to go to every building and just ride elevators and take a video of it. And he is trying to get every...

every big building possible and he just makes videos. - I'm the best time, dude. - Dude, and they're so happy. - What a cheap hobby. - There's a guy that goes around and tests faucets. Have you seen that? Like public faucets. He has like his own like mechanism that he can put into the top of a faucet and turn it on and go, "This one works guys!" And he like starts like crying. He's so happy that they-- - The shit that people can get into blows me away.

I feel like that's fucking Nick over here. It's like he goes to every electrical outlet and he's like, this one has good energy. He inserts his own mechanism in there. It drives my wife insane. I'm just like, this is fucking shit lighting in here. This is bullshit. This is bullshit. That's wrong. That's wrong. That pipe looks like ass. Who bent that piece of shit over there? Like, it's awful. Incoming Raycon ad. We

It may be too early to start decorating, but it's not too early to start Christmas shopping. So why not take care of it now? Before fighting the hordes and the shopping centers. Do it with Raycon and save 50% right now. 50% now. You've heard me talk about Raycon in the past. G-Van put up an old thing of me talking about Raycon in the past. Just...

Right here. Now Raycon first made a name for themselves in the audio industry by this little guy. The everyday earbud. And this past year they've expanded their entire business with products like the Raycon Home and Raycon PowerTech. Raycon is known for delivering high quality and thoughtful features at half the price of other premium tech brands.

It's no wonder that their products have racked up tens of thousands of five-star reviews. And right now, you can save even more with tech bundles, which will let you mix and match up to three Raycon products. Hurry up to buyraycon.com to save 50% on the entire website. These deals are only available for one week, so you have to shop now before November 27th.

It's really bad. Thank you so much for finding exact... This man, if you wonder if he's an electrician... I went to my house...

And then I noticed... Was I right? Yes! I knew I was fucking right. It was all the bathrooms wouldn't have... None of the outlets were working. And he was like, yeah, there's another bathroom. It's usually 15 amp and it's a shitty thing. Those cookie cutter houses, there's people, they just take shortcuts and it trips all of them. So you have to find the one bathroom with the reset button. I was like, that sounds like bullshit. No, 100%. Nope, it was 100% right. All right, so today we're going to talk about circuit breakers.

Well, you did the same thing at your fucking house too, remember? Yeah, yeah, you actually helped fix mine. Was I right about that? Yeah, you were right about that. I also had to pay like two grand to get that fixed. My landlord probably should have handled that. Yeah,

Yeah, no, you're lame. No, we were hammered one night Nick's like going through the electrical box. I was like, yeah, this is wrong. There's wrong wrong cover off a live pen fucking You're swinging a screwdriver around in the wires Give me my metal chopsticks and they're done that Jesus Christ that reminds me of a Story about John never try every tell you when John just like was a toddler and tried

Like three times in a row. No. Was that the oven one? Can I tell the only story I've heard about John? Hold on. So we're playing hide and go seek. John's like three years old. I find him outside underneath a car. And I'm like, hey, you're going in timeout. So I sit him down in timeout. How old is he? Three. He's like three. Okay. I come back and he's trying to stick a fork in a fucking electrical outlet. And I'm like, why are you actively trying to fucking...

No, but I mean that's every toddler. That's like that. That's raising kids. Yeah, like the baby's trying to absolutely, you know. It's insane. They're living. All they do is try to. Often. They're trying to get. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds. Who's your daddy? That's the video game. Yeah, that's the game I was thinking of. Yeah, it's who's your daddy. You're trying to. If you guys haven't played who's your daddy, that video game is pretty fucking good. We should probably do more video game talk on this podcast. I don't know. It's way more interesting than military stories and history talk. You know.

So I'm actually curious, as an electrician, have you ever electrocuted yourself? So...

That's not a no. I'm not saying this to be a dick, and I hate the fact that I'm going to do this, but because if I don't do it, somebody in the comments, he's not a fucking real electrician because he doesn't even know what electrocuted means. The word electrocuted means to die from electric shock. So no, I've never been electrocuted, but I have shocked the holy dog shit out of myself before. Yes.

So I understand why you had to actually me right there. Yeah, I know. So yeah, I have definitely shocked the dog shit out of myself. Yeah, that's happened before. Have you ever dog shit the shock out of yourself before? Quite possibly. I do have dyslexia. So.

It happens. It happens. What was the only John story you know? Oh, yeah. What's your John story? When John decided that it'd be cool to stick his arm inside of a vase and walk up and punch your brand new flat screen TV and break it. That did happen. Yeah.

Don't know this story. I don't know that either. All right, this is John's two years old. John has cost you a lot of money. A lot of money, dude. That's toddlers though, man. That's a pretty fucking unique one. This was right after 11-11-11 when I quit school to play Elder Scrolls Skyrim.

You're so excited, you're just like, oh, I can't wait to get home. After all this breaking your back. Fire this up. I'm just hurting. I'm on the couch. I can't wait to play Skyrim. John, the toddler that he is, he puts his fist in the vase.

I'm poor as shit. I'm an E4 at the time. I had to work to get this fucking TV. John walks up with this vase on his fist and just punches the fuck out of it for no reason whatsoever. We're just chilling. No, you were chilling. He was in battle mode. It was one of those where it's like, I can't punt my toddler because that's wrong. So it was like, it was a nose pinch and just like a

Baby, I'm gonna go outside for a while. I had to walk around the block a couple times and then come back and be like, hey buddy, you can't do that. For the younger viewers, this is before like a nice smart TV flat screen was like $300. Yeah, you couldn't go to Walmart. These were expensive motherfucking things. A thousand is like the starting price.

Imagine if he just turned around. What the hell? Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. John has cost you so much. You got Robux. You got TVs. You got. Oh, God, dude. That's raising a kid, though, man. That's raising a kid, especially alone. That's just raising a kid. Oh, yeah. 100%. You know. Yeah, you know. Writing's very simplistic. He's like, Daddy, I just need this. I can't wait for John's book.

We talked about this one on the podcast before, right? We haven't talked about it in a while, though, so it'll be fun to bring it back up. That's true. Yeah. So obviously John grows up around all of us and whatnot, so he's going to write a tell-all book one day called My Seven Retarded Uncles. Where he talks about growing up around...

Brandon, you, like Eli, Matt does just like the, the things that he experiences on a daily basis. He's going to do the tell all story. My seven retarded uncles. Cause we can't like for us, it is still, we look at these kids. They're like, man, these kids are like, cause it's just everyday life to him, which is super weird.

Us in that position at that age, my mind would have been fucking blown away by any of the cool shit. Ten years ago, my mind would have been blown. Oh, yeah. Getting out of the military, I'm like, oh, my God. This is all the coolest people I know. And he's like, meh.

I want to stay home and play video games, Dad. Hanging on the couch with all of us and just reading manga. Imagine when he gets into the real world without any of us and he's like, wait, this isn't the same. I'm not going to range day once a week and hanging out with celebrities. DoorDash costs money. For me, it's not even that. Do you know the level of like...

Excitement it's gonna take to get John interested in something. We're already blowing out his dopamine receptors The level of like interesting thing that's gonna have to happen to get this kid amped up is gonna be you're going to Mars There's yeah, there's there's moments like the range days and stuff like that or I'm like, you know John like most people are

Have to win a contest to do what you're about to do, right? Like this isn't even a thing you can buy. I'll be in the truck. No, you're right. I have to go to the range day. I have to hang out with my favorite content creators today. Ryden's on the opposite. He's like, I just want to be alone. Thank you. You knew you, man. Hey, what's up? You want to hang out, daddy? No.

Okay, well my feelings aren't hurt. Yeah, the one tear? Okay, you have fun. You still love me, right? I do not understand the feeling of love, Daddy. Okay. Okay, I don't know who taught you that. I'm going to walk away. Well, Daddy's going to go spend some alone time with a belt. It'll be a good old time. I'm going to Robin Williams myself. Oh.

So I named my second son Cassius right after Cassius Clay. He's taken after more than I thought it would actually work. The black boxer? The most gangster politician of all time. The guy he was named after. I've seen your video. I know, thanks. No, but my first son, Cutter, he's really sweet, really nice. Little boy, perfect, does everything great.

Cassius, my second kid, is just full sprint down the hallway tackling other kids for no fucking reason. At daycare, I set him down. I take all his jacket and his shoes off to go into daycare. I turn around to take Cutter's jacket and shoes off. This kid, full clip, just runs and Ray Lewis's another fucking toddler for no reason whatsoever. Just, ah!

Why is your one and a half year old putting our children here in arm bars? I don't know. That's crazy. I totally didn't teach him. He's just got his arm wrapped around some other kid. Two Jets is pretty dumb. He's going purple. I didn't teach him how to stop. Dude, I hate to bring this back to John again, but I had like a similar story. Yeah. But I got called into daycare one time. He's probably like four or five years old.

And they're like, well, he punched a girl. And I'm like, hey, that's bad. What happened? They're like, well, she bit him. I was like, okay. I get it. I don't know what to say. But he shouldn't be punching girls. And I was like, no. They shouldn't be biting him. Yeah, she bit the shit out of him. He had like drew blood on him. Kids at that age, there is no, literally have no idea about anything.

they don't look at sex race anything that just works like four or five like i don't know how much the it's a girl played into it but like statistically speaking a girl would have the advantage until like 12 13 i mean they're they mature faster and have typically are bigger in general because they hit puberty earlier it was just a weird argument between me and the the person who ran the daycare just like

Well, he punched a girl. And I was like, well, she fucking did him? I don't know what to tell you about that. He's five years old. I don't know, dude. He fucked around and found out. He'd been doing like jujitsu and MMA for a year at that point. Exactly what I thought it was going to be. I love how all the parents here are just like, my kid's going to be fighters. My kid is... I would like... Raiden, I want to fight. I don't want to fight Raiden. I want him to fight. It's just there's zero point in that.

The boy struggles with running normally. I think that gimme looks like an attack on Titan. Yeah, it's like Ryan running. But have you seen the movie The Accountant? That's all I'm saying. Your son's going to build a mousetrap that kills his adversaries instead. As long as he can shoot a baron. I just picture him doing all John Wick accounting. An entire room is done. He's like...

Like walking out the door and they're like, oh, God. He's just on his way out of the fucking building like, this is a nice elevator. I haven't finished. I haven't finished. Going up and down the elevator a couple times. Okay, I'll go now. On his way out in the lobby like this cop.

So uncle uncle Dijon what martial art do you prefer when you're fighting grizzly bears and sharks and WWE? Because I said so do you have a preferred melee weapon with that like chairs ladders? No, I usually use my sword your sword. Yeah my claymore Okay, claymore my claymore with the eagle hilt Scottish

Well, it was made by a guy named Trevor in Alaska. Remind me never to wrestle you. Yeah. In the middle of an Olympic wrestling event, just... Oh, it looks like he has a chair! He turns into a sword and cuts the guy in half. Oh, God. So I was just play wrestling him, and now I've got a claymore about halfway through my fucking torso. Most people don't know this. It's easier to pin them when they don't have a head. Yeah.

- The crowd's just dead silent. I just do like, I mean, like tackle somebody in the NFL, you know, they like freak out. It's just a cabin. - There'd be a solid three seconds of shocking quietness if that happened during a wrestling match. He's going for, head's gone.

But the crowd will be like, "YEAH!" It's the Joe Rogan meme. "OH SHIT!" "Does he count?" "Yeah, the ref." Just so you know, a disqualification is not a loss. Exactly. Still undefeated.

I did fight a bear at Madison Square Garden in the PFL Smart Gauge. That's what? It is 100% true. You can look that video up. So how did that go? Well, I gave him a straight left after I slipped his jab and then just hammer-fisted him until the ref stopped it. So it was pretty intense. That's so dope. Yeah, sweet. Brandon's only fought a human. Yeah, I'm a loser. What a fucking pussy. Jesus Christ. You need a bear, bro. I can smell the estrogen on this man.

Eli's already like started this podcast by playing on my insecurities of not having a joke land in front of 2,000 people. That's the intro. Oh, so give me that one joke? It's so great. I'm just like, well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself. Fuck. So...

You're Canadian. You grew up there your whole life, right? I lived in England for five years, but I was there. That was after you were an adult, right? You were like 18. Yeah, after I graduated high school. So England too, I guess, to this question. How does England and Canada view America? What are some things you thought...

America was gonna be when you came here the first time and like was true, wasn't true. We're a bad representation. I know, look where you came to. I understand, but I still want to know. Did you sleep in JT's special room when you slept here the first time? Oh yeah. Yeah, the first time, and to be honest with you, I turned around and I just went, huh. Is everyone's bedroom like this? Well, I did look. I looked at Jared. It's a gun wall that looks like my office gun wall from my videos. I looked at Jared and Caleb and they're smiling like, and I'm like, and I went, guys,

"Jared, Jared, Jared, do you invite strangers into this home who you meet on the internet and let them stay in this room?" And he's like, "Yeah, man!" - Jared is like, "It's right there." - What's funny is it's like the representation of where he's coming into. Jared has the least amount of guns out of all of us. - Yeah. - So it's-- - Probably the least amount. - Actually, yeah. - I mean, you might have me beat. I'm sure as hell have to count that. - Two of the guns on that wall are mine, actually.

I built him one of them and bought him another. But going on to what he said, was it like what were those like, oh, they're going to be fat or like all these preconceived ideas? I know violence is one thing. It wasn't actually violence. It was more like, oh, no, they're just rude down there.

That was and then the British where the British would be like well at least like that's that's there. That's their stick Stabbing our schools ain't a acid attack Yeah, they the bridge don't like you guys a lot I would when I when I worked there still a little bitter Los Angeles yeah when I when I worked there I

People would say, well, what part of America are you from? I'd be like, the Canadian part. And they're like, oh, you're all right then. I'll say, you don't even know me. How do you just, oh, you're a Canadian. You're not American. That's racist as shit. Holy fuck. Man, I got that all the time. People would legitimately be like, oh, I was going to be mad at you, but since you're Canadian. I'm like, what? Right. The Mexicans are what I got a problem with. Yeah.

- Like, "Whoa, okay, I did not expect it to go this way." - Yeah, so that was, and then this year's the first year I've ever been to the States. The first state I ever visited was Montana. That was in July. That was incredible. I love Montana, that was cool. - Beautiful flat. - Yeah, well I went to the Glacier Park and everything, so that was really sweet.

did a lot of horseback riding there. And I was like, this is actually very stereotypical what I thought Montana was going to be like. Cowboys and shit. Yeah, exactly. And they hate Yellowstone there. The majority of the people. They ruined their whole fucking state. Well, when I was there. All the Cali cowboys want to go try to fucking LARP like. I'm a dud. But when I was there and people would say, oh yeah, this is like, they're trying to describe it. And then they see the defeats when I'm not getting there. They'd be like.

have you seen yellowstone i'm like no they're like

Normally we explain it with Yellowstone language. I hate it there. But other than that, New York, I thought was going to be very chaotic. But I found that it actually wasn't. Like everybody on the side of the street. New York City? Yeah. Downtown New York? Yeah. Right next to Madison Square Garden. Oh, yeah. And everybody just mind their own business. I didn't have to. Oh, yeah. It's chaos. It's just. It's organized chaos is how I. It's business. You're not stopping to say hi. It is. I got someplace to be. I'm here.

going. Exactly. I swear a lot of the stereotypes that other countries have of like Americans being rude is because they go to fucking New York or they go to LA. Yeah. It's because everybody wants to go to California. Yeah. Everybody's rude there. But down here, the two places I hate, wow, it's crazy. They are very rude. If that was all of America, I'd probably hate us too. Yeah.

Meaningless stuff. Why do we gift so much meaningless stuff? Tired of generic gifts and hollow trends? Shutterfly allows you to create meaningful photo gifts for your family and friends, whether it's a cozy fleece blanket for grandma, a stunning canvas print for mom, or a mug to make dad smile. Enjoy 40% off with code MAKE40 at Shutterfly.com and make something meaningful this year. See site for more details.

Yeah, but down here, I love it down here. It's my second time here. First time I was here, everybody showed me a great time. I absolutely loved it down here. I'm glad. Yeah, it was weird. Like how it happened was, is I'll check. So how I look at Instagram, how I make a lot of connections is you can filter in the notifications, people who have verified accounts and will show you just verified account interactions with your Instagram. And I saw this like Jared Taylor. So yeah, I'm like,

Guy looks like he has it figured out. So I looked at it. - Do people really think that about us? - Well, I looked at it and I was like, "Oh, I'll check it out." Then I saw it was Time for Pi podcast. And I saw a bunch of us. I saw you guys and I was like, "Oh wow, these are my kind of people." And then I added them back. And then he just sent me a message like,

I'm like wow this escalated very quickly and then yes, this is Jared. Hold on. This is the perfect time Didn't you have to escape from his compound yesterday? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I went over to visit him Thanks Jared. Escape from LA like escape from JT's Well, yeah, cuz you dropped me off. I was there for about an hour and a half and

He had another podcast to do. So then he's like, oh yeah, Dylan's great singing. He has great. It's like, that's all I want. I just wanted to say hi to him and Caleb because I missed them. Anyway, so they went into the podcast room and I'm sat there like,

the hell am I getting home? Like, I didn't think this far ahead. So, I went on the, I used to hustle. Lots of Ubers out where Jared lives. Yeah, yeah. Actually, the one that I got was only 18 minutes away. So, it wasn't too bad. Had to drive 18 minutes to get you? Yeah, to get me, yeah. I would have been so pissed. That Uber driver was fucking mad.

- Yeah, oh well. - Oh no, anyways. - So everything went smoothly. The Uber, I thought, wow, that actually went really smoothly. I was able to order it. - Get your pretty face in there. - And then I'm like, oh yeah, I have to, that Uber driver doesn't know the code, I don't know the code, I'll just walk over the gate.

And it's closed and I'm not seeing like an open button. I'm like. - You could have text us. - No, no, it's okay. This is more fun. So I look down. I look down and I see on the mechanism says reset. I'm like, I don't want to touch that. 'Cause it might like mess with the computer or something. - It could kill you. - Yeah, exactly. So then I. - Reset. - So then I was looking at my computer.

- What's funny is that we are just such genuinely friends here, and we're just bullshitting and bantering. I almost just openly told you Jared's gate code on the fucking podcast. I was like, no, it's obviously, oh fuck. - So I'm looking at my options, and I think of all, I go over to the fence, and I go like this on, and I'm like, ah, I feel like my 235 pound self will probably wreck that fence. And then the only other option is a pillar that's like a foot taller than me.

So I was like, okay. I just grabbed it, like muscle up, like that. I get on top of it. I didn't go to the one that had the camera because obviously I didn't want to wreck the camera. So all you're going to see, Jared, is if you look at your cameras, me just Superman landing from the sky going like this.

- Is that your camera? - Like talking, just walking to the end of the room, yeah. - Oh my God, do you want the best sleep in the world, you know? Well, I can tell you the greatest bed

and mattress product in the world. It is from GhostBed.com, y'all know. Today we are talking to myself and Mexican version of myself to talk about the great deals at GhostBed.com.

Every mattress has 20-year warranty. You can try out for 101 nights. If you don't like it, send it back. No hard feeling. And one of the best parts of the GhostBait is the cooling technology. Señor, I know what you're thinking. ¿Por qué, señor? Because if you're like me and you're in Texas, the nights are hot and you need the cooling technology. Señor.

Ghost Pet also offers all the bundles. See, you don't even really have to think about it, senor. You choose from four of their mattresses and you got a bundle, senor. So whether you need the mattress or the frame or you want it all, like the cooling pillows or the sheets, you can get the best bang for your buck.

That's right. Right now, if you use unsubscribe at ghostbag.com slash unsubscribe, you get 50% off everything. Everyone loves discount to that value. So very big. That is half...

Go buy the best bed you can with GhostBed.com. Actually, on a serious note, all of us use GhostBed now. It is all the rooms here at Unzipped, my bedroom, the pillows, the sheets, everything is GhostBed. You spend 30% of your life in a bed. Upgrade your stuff and save 50% while doing it. Go check them out. They're a fantastic company and we support them. Code Unsubscribe. Go 50%.

So that was that was fun notice that like you're so tall even just sitting down that it's cutting off the top of your head when you're talking Like yeah, and media was like and setback I was like well, there's pulling focus Like this

So what, you're going to try to get into long form now. You're like, I want to do some more fucking content. Nick said he would stab me if I didn't. Science. Not that I would die. Not that he was worried about it, but also. You are built different. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Speaking of that, he's coming out with a new clothing line that should be available soon. Hopefully by the time this podcast is out. It'll probably be out already before this gets aired. It'll be better than that. No, come on.

Stop putting yourself down. That encourages others to put you down. It's going to lose a lot of friends of yours in L.A. They're not fond of our crew. The world down here is not well lacked. Well, I was going to try to figure out a way to convince you to run for Prime Minister of Canada. I think that would be a lot better. A, I think that's illegal. B, I would be the second in line with that belt in some alone time. Well, I mean, to be fair, I think that

Because Trudeau boxes, correct? Oh, he does something that looks close to boxing. I mean, he tries to box. I mean, couldn't you box him for the title of Canada leader? I sent it to you on Instagram the other day. Justin Trudeau legitimately boxes.

And he's shit at it. He got his fucking ass beat by an old man. He gets walked every clip. It's a nice slow-mo. And you can tell he's just like, eh, eh. And he's wearing headgear his opponent isn't, and he's still getting his fucking shit pushed in. It's hilarious. There's another politician, too. It's not like it was a boxer. Like,

We need to go back to that, man. We need to go back to American politicians boxing the shit out of each other. Teddy Todd? The great statesman, Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy was a big boxer. He loved to fight. He was a fighter. I was...

Tony Gonzalez. He also did judo and jiu-jitsu. Wasn't Abraham Lincoln one of the best wrestlers of his day? Yeah, he was a wrestler. He never lost a match. Yeah, he was a monster, too. He was in Fight Club. He was like, if you could fight any historical figure, who would it be? And he's like, well, Abraham Lincoln, tall guys fight to the burger.

And like Abraham Lincoln never lost a wrestling match. He just fucked people up. He was like what? Like how tall is he? Like 6'2"? Which in 1865 was basically a fucking transform. You're a Nephilim.

Have you done boxing? I just did amateur for two years. And then are you thinking about doing, like, because we got our boy Brandon here. Everyone here has done, like, some type of martial arts fighting. Is that something where you're like, hey, you've done amateur for two years, but doing a creator class where you're like, I want to fuck it. I would love to, but whoever I face, like, you've got to understand, their head will get launched into the third aisle. Like, it's not. Imagine you're a family. You take a kid's head out of some dude's head. Just land. That's extra to be in the splash zone. Yeah.

- Logan Chitwood, he's calling you out. - No, I love you, Logan. - You are a really nice man. - I did shoot him with a tank in one of my last videos, and he lived, so we'll just be careful there. - Getting in the ring with that dude, you're like,

Fighters, are you ready? Logan's like that. Dylan, are you ready? Why is he covered in peanut butter and naked? Your gloves have peanut butter on them. I hope you guys get meme humor. But you're good. So like boxing, you did amateur. So you've done a good amount of sparring. We've talked about it on the podcast. Like combat, sports, it is...

It's fucking dope because it is a one-on-one and it is a test to yourself. Yeah. You're the only responsibility. If you're on a team, you can kind of like, I played like shit today. No, no, if you suck, it's all on you. And then you get to go home in the shower in the dark and go...

Oh, yeah. The fucked up part is if you suck at soccer, you don't get knocked the fuck out on live TV. Yeah, exactly. There's a little bit of stakes. Celebrating your night after that win would have been completely different if Brandon would have been knocked out that night. I would have drank less. It's okay, buddy. Next time. I was so mentally prepared for if I had lost because I was going up against a bigger guy. Beat me in every fucking physical dimension, right? Yeah.

I was so prepared for the, man, you put your heart in it. And I'm like, that was going to hurt so fucking bad. The one guy with the kazoo. I bought these. I didn't want to let them waste. I don't know. I've done a little bit of every kind of martial art. Boxing is by far, in my opinion, like the most dangerous and the most. Most people die. Most barbaric. Like, I don't like.

MMA gets a lot of shit because it's like, oh, it's way safer. It is 100% safer. When you get dropped in MMA, the fight's over. That's it. You only get to get knocked out once. You can get knocked out three fucking times in one boxing match. When I did amateur, if you got...

Like, hit good, the ref immediately was like, okay, one, two. And you only got three. If you got three of those in one round, the ref's like, you're done, you're shit. Yeah, but, like, in boxing, like, I think it's one person dies in MMA every year on average. I think in boxing it's 12. Yeah. Like, it's a lot. It's a huge fucking job. Yeah, you're just concussed, and it's like, okay, you ready? Oh, I think so. All my friends are watching. Well, I didn't even, like, Tyson Fury. Like, a fucking...

nine count against who did he fight? Where he got flatlined? No. Oh, no, that was... Oh, Deontay Wilder. Yeah, Deontay Wilder. He sat up and he was like, boop, and got up. And then he sat up but it's like...

That would have been over in MMA. Like, 10 seconds of being out is, it's done at that point. It's like, if he would have got knocked out again and again, it's like, you can get as much damage in one boxing match as you do in seven MMA fights. It's insane. In MMA, you can safely, like, tap somebody out. Like, just, they tap, whatever. Okay, it's done. In boxing, for a knockout, dude, I had not experienced what it was like to have a bigger man hit you with 10-ounce gloves and no headgear. You fucking see TV static for a minute. It's like, doosh!

Yeah, your vision goes like this and it's like, "Wrooom!" and comes back and then he's still there. Well, it was like when your little douchebag kid brother like, wiggles the fucking aux cord on the PlayStation and just, "Oh, fuck me!" I always called it the brass gnats. That's what I called it, where you just see the little... It's like that flashbang, like, "Zzzz!" And then you're like, your hands usually go better and... Yeah. But you see those ones where it doesn't 'cause you get hard enough where you're like,

The Matrix struggling to keep me in. I'm too powerful. It's the glove thickness too, right? Like with MMA, it's only, what's it, four ounce? Yeah, four ounce. MMA, the gloves are designed to prevent you from breaking your hands, not to soften the blow of the punch. That's why bare knuckle is crazy. Bare knuckle is just a different beast. Unpopular opinion, safer than both of them.

as far as striking goes, like bare knuckle boxing, you can only punch as hard as the bone structure of your hands will allow. So like,

Like, Nuganu wouldn't make it very long in bare-knuckle boxing because he's going to punch you and probably kill somebody. Yeah. But also his hand's going to explode. Yeah. Right? With all that pressure. That's why you need someone that, like, heavyweight bare-knuckle is probably a little too much. I don't think Mike Perry excels at that. He's, like, the perfect build for it. So lucre. Yeah, we haven't talked. Yeah, well, you know, I haven't been on this podcast for a fucking year. But...

Yeah, fucking Nico Ortiz invited. Was that the one? No, no, no. We went to Denver. Yeah, that was our friends brought Brandon and I up to watch a bare knuckle fight. Because our buddy Luke Rockhold was going to be in it. Yeah, Luke Rockhold was in it. He's been a homie for a minute. And just hearing the fucking impacts. Because we were like ringside right there at that one almost. The chick fights, dude. The chick fights were brutal.

room. Oh my god, the females in that bare knuckle fight? But just hearing the fucking bare knuckles on, yeah, it was fucking gnarly. Well, because it reminds you of a street fight, but street fights usually stop in 20 seconds. This was like

- 12, 15 minutes of just straight. - Yeah, these two, I would love to hear that during COVID when there was nobody in the arena. - That's what I'm gonna, dude, that was the weirdest part of the UFC is COVID, peak COVID UFC when it just was like, you're watching a murder happen. - Tony Ferguson versus Justin Gagey. - Oh. - Every, Justin Gagey, one of the hardest punchers. - Hard motherfucker. - And one of the biggest, hitting Tony Ferguson in every fucking punch sounded like an automobile collision.

- Tony has a jaw, so he's not going down. This is where everyone was like, "Yo, props to Tony for living." - It went from, "This is awesome," to like, "Jesus Christ, I'm watching somebody get CTE right now." Like, it was bad. - Dude, that reminds me of the, like, Sean O'Malley.

Oh, yeah. Shane O'Malley. Yeah. Sugar Shane O'Malley. Oh, is it Shane or Sean? I think so. Or maybe it's Sean O'Malley. I think it's Sean O'Malley. But that fight with that dude where he just kept fucking laying the hate on him. I forget the other fighter's name. Oh, he had green hair? Yeah. He wasn't dropping. He was just like, just kept walking toward it. That's where you don't make your head hide it is before a fight. Jesus Christ. I literally thought that man was going to die. That dude was tough as fuck. But when you take away the audience, man, it's so weird.

It was such a weird time in UFC when they didn't have an audience, man. It literally sounded like a Rocky movie. Just every fucking punch was a car wreck. Okay, so I did go back. When I was doing all the boxing shit, like right before my fight, I was on my way to Charleston. I was watching some of the Rocky fights, just trying to get my head.

Oh, that motivation broke me. I still watch those. I watch Dragon Ball Z while I work out sometimes. Trust me, I get it. It was Rocky IV, though, and somebody put a time stamp, and they're like, wow, with defense like that, no wonder Rocky's the champ. And it's him just with his hands down at his side, just getting fucking hit in the head, not even attempting to block it.

You sent me that. I know exactly when he was fighting. It's in the montage. You mean Drago? Yeah, Drago. And he's just getting hit in the face. There's no moving. It's just walk towards the punch. His hands are at his waist. He's boom, boom, boom. Like, wow, what major defense from a big player. Holy shit.

Funny thing is like Stallone, the Rocky movie is like, if you know the backstory, it's like one of the most motivational things ever. Really? Yeah. The dude wrote the movie Rocky. The dog in Rocky, he had actually sold to somebody for money because he was so broke and then ended up selling his screenplay Rocky and had to pay like a

a ton of money to get his dog back but he paid it gets his dog back and the stipulation of selling his screenplay is like no I get to play Rocky and he got way less money than he would have he got a bunch of offers he got a ton of offers for it but nobody would let him be Rocky right so he took like way less money than he could have to be Rocky like betting on himself ended up winning and do you know where the nickname the Italian Stallion came from his soft core point yeah yeah

Was it softcore? Or was it just porn? It was softcore. I was under the impression it was regular porn, but it may have been softcore. I thought it was softcore because he was also part of Sopranos, and they moved him in the background character. Because when he went and they were like, did you know he's part of Sopranos? Yeah. Or not Sopranos. Godfather. Okay. I was like, wait, what's up? He was in the Godfather background extra because they were like,

oh, you're not Italian enough. Sylvester Stallone. And he was like, and there's an interview. He's like, I sweat marinara sauce, guys. Like, what do you want from me? My name is Sylvester Stallone. Your name must be Balotelli before I allow you to do it. And then he was just like, what the fuck? He's like, but yeah, I was a background character in that. And then the story about Rocky and like he held onto that. He was poor. He had to sell his dog. He went through shit just to get that movie made.

be made and super inspirational as you guys are saying is that a Scorsese movie no no that's a Francis Ford Coppola the first two and then the third is I forget third is a trash one so Stallone was never like he was never an actor before that he just like put everything into it yeah no he's acting too his work is real work yeah no he like straight up just bet on himself yeah yeah and he bet on himself and he fucking paid off because he got an Oscar Oscar

His first fucking movie ever. It led to the greatest movie of all time, Demolition Man. Oh, yes. Oh, God. Demolition Man is so fucking good. Who doesn't know how to use the shells? All restaurants are Taco Bells. Still haven't figured out how to use the shells, dude. Dude, what a piece of shit. So I asked that on Twitter a couple months ago. I was like, guys, how do you use the three seashells? And I don't know.

No, it's new. Yeah, yeah. It's like I'm thinking it's like a bidet type thing where it's like one of them sprays your asshole and then one of them dries it. No, that's legit. So my toilet paper video where I got mad at my wife for buying single-ply toilet paper, I did way more research on human butt wiping history than I ever thought I would. And people actually wipe their ass with seashells at some point.

Wait, no dead ass serious. So like, uh, so, uh, native Americans, he knows how to use it in North America. Guess what they use for toilet paper? Corn cobs. I've heard that before. I use poison. They use corn cobs. If you ever look at, uh, the anything's toilet paper, if you're brave enough, I'm not sure. If you ever look at the farmer's on the back, put it in a twist and pull up spray with a hoe. You take it to the river. It's like a mustache.

If you ever look at the Sears catalog or the Farmer's Almanac, even today the Farmer's Almanac, when it's printed, has a black circle in the upper left-hand corner. That's actually to drill out to run a piece of string through to hang it in the outhouse to use the remaining pages as shit-wiping paper because that's how toilet paper advanced over time.

- Wait, for real? - Yeah, and then like back, the Romans used a communal sea sponge on a stick that they would leave in a vat of vinegar. Which is disgusting. - The Roman's form of public bathrooms is literally this, with a hole in the thing. - Yeah, gentlemen. - That could be a new podcast episode as we all take shit at the same time.

Bro, have you seen the one where it's the other giant porta potty where there's our urinals? There's eight urinals up on the wall. It's a big fucking communal urinal. It's called the the cocktagon. Oh

I saw a guy at Reading Festival in England. There was a trough and he fucking slip and slide through the trough. I don't know, it must have been like a bet or something, but we're all sitting there. I was like, here's everyone screaming. Eddie the Eagle. Eddie the Eagle comes flying down. Pissing. Breaking at the sound barrier. It was like, what the fuck?

Guy just runs off covered in human everything. It's disgusting. Was it you that told me about the pee chalk that some Middle Eastern countries use? Yeah. Pee chalk? Yeah, where it's like... You know, like a pool table has the chalk? I didn't know about this. Wait, what? Yeah, where it's like, you know, you always, no matter how much you shake it, you get the one extra drip, right? Yeah.

Apparently in some cultures there's like a chalk and you just like chalk the end of your dick and like people were just spreading STDs like crazy using the chalk stick. Weird. I wouldn't see that one coming. What were you going to say, Nick? Oh, there was another toilet paper technique. I don't know.

I'm not sure if it was, I want to say it was Romans, but it might have been like ancient Greek. I don't know. I'm too drunk. But they also had, they would take broken pottery shards and they would like just round out the edges and then they would carve the name of like their political adversaries or people they hated in it. And then they would just keep it in like their coin purse.

And that would be like their poop scraping stuff. So they just like scrape all the poop off their butthole with this piece of rounded off pottery. But they like wrote the name of somebody they hated on it. I don't know why I thought that was funny. It may be spooky season, but you don't want to scare people with your scraggly beard. Today, we are brought to you by Manscaped.com.

Who has taken a step from the Balaweeners to bring your face the cleanest shave it has ever seen, brother. So this season there's no toil or trouble. It's just manscaped. Manscaped's all new handyman is the best way to get rid of that stubble. Featuring compact design and skin safe technology. It was designed to give you a smooth finish without traditional technology.

disadvantages. Get the sweetest treat this season by going to manscaped.com and using code unsubbed to save 20% and free shipping. And for my wolf man out there, there's the Manscaped Beard Hedger Pro Kit. It has everything to tame your mane.

That's 20% off and free shipping at manscaped.com using code UNSUB for a look sweet as candy. Get yourself a handyman from manscaped.com.

I hate this. I use this. This is what I do. That's a level of petty I aspire to. This is mine. This is what I do. Fuck you, Theocles. I'm going to run this down. I'll take that. Hasan Piker! Hasan Piker! I'm going to kill you! No, in real life! The weird statistic. Like 50% of why you're standing is sitting.

Do you wipe sitting or standing? I don't wipe. Why would you wipe standing? Usually it's a 50-50 if you wipe sitting or standing. You just casually just ignored the fact. I was just like, I don't wipe, man. I was like, that's you. We have to burn that. I got Trudeau carved into a piece of clay. We have to burn his chair after this. Speaking of this, I was an electrician, obviously. I have a bunch of friends who are still electricians.

And I have them on Snapchat still. And one of the guys that I went through the apprenticeship with, he's in like the bigger city below me. They're building a hotel in this Des Moines, Iowa. And this hotel has pre-made bathrooms. They just come in a big crate. The bathroom's completely done. All you have to do is hook up the water lines to the shower or the toilet and the faucets, whatever. So it's just like pre-canned, whatever. Great. Perfect. Wonderful.

In Mexico, generally speaking, you don't flush toilet paper because the plumbing can't handle it in Mexico. So Hispanic workers that are showing up and working on these job sites aren't accustomed to flushing toilet paper and they do what's custom in their country, which is throwing the toilet paper into the trash can. And if the trash can isn't there, they just throw it in the corner, right?

So there's like 200 pre-made in a box bathrooms and people are just going into these bathrooms that aren't hooked up to anything, sitting in an open field shitting in them and just throwing the toilet paper into the corner and they're just not hooked up to any toilet paper or any plumbing at all and it's fantastic. That sucks. That's shitty.

Those days. When I asked the three seashells question on Twitter a while back, there was like a couple of Europeans in there and they're like, you guys don't have bidets, you fucking savages.

I love bidets. They're the greatest things. I've never used a bidet. Neither have I. I haven't either. Neither have I. I understand bidets if you live on, I don't know, an island or whatever where you don't have enough trees to cut them down and wipe your ass with, but whatever. We have that here. Skill issue. Yeah, it's a skill issue. It's a skill issue. Scale, skill, both, really. Because people don't realize that Great Britain is literally...

If you had to guess the size of Great Britain in regards to a state. Texas. No. Wait. Sorry. The entirety of England. All of Britain. All of Britain. All of the UK compared to a state. Which one do you think it is? Florida then. Not even fucking close. Wait. Oh, probably. Sorry. Connecticut. It's getting more like. I don't know which one Connecticut is off the top of my head.

Connecticut's pretty small. The closest one is Michigan. It's about 3,000 square miles smaller than Michigan, just to give you a scale of how fucking big the U.S. is. Oh, that's, yeah. It's that small, and they still can't find Hogwarts. Oh, that got me real good. Wait, wait, wait. I've learned his brand of humor by now. God damn it. What?

- Nick's always the hardest one. Like these hard jokes, I'm like, every, and Nick's like, "Heh." But that, the Hogwarts joke, he's fucking pissing himself over here. Fucking knee slapping. Like Martin Herrera, giving high fives. - This has happened, and I swear to you this happened. It was like my third or fourth week in England. - Well now I don't believe you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was my third or fourth week in England. I'm walking down the street.

I see this window roll down and someone's driving by and all I hear is Expelliarmus! And there's some guy in a full-on Harry Potter outfit pointing a wand at me driving by and I was like, did I just get drive-by spelled? Like, did this just happen? Yeah. You're like, oh, what the fuck? That was weird. These drive-by enchantings. Or what is it, the mass wandings in the UK? But I was, I literally, as they drove off, I thought that did not help their stereotype whatsoever because I'm going to tell everyone.

Well at least our schools- No, no, no, I've seen the Harry Potter movies. That shit's a fucking battleground. Yeah.

What's going on? Sorry, let me check my text. You're right, we need to ban high-capacity wands. Okay, so now you've done your fucking content, you're doing everything. What are the things that you like to do outside of like, hey, this is my... What was your job while doing content until you fully transitioned? Fucking tradesmen, because we're hilarious. Damn straight. Wait, were you a tradesman? I was an accountant. No, I'm kidding. I did, uh... Yeah!

- That's Italian. - This is Italian. - This is autistic. - Same thing. - Same thing. - So my first job ever, I was a butcher. That was part time when I went through college. - Oh yeah. - And then after I was done college, I worked on the railway, did a bit of laboring and then moved on to semi-skilled laboring in Brick Lane.

And then after that I came back here and I worked. - That's my sex life, is semi-skilled labor. - I told her her pussy stunk 'cause I only last 30 seconds. I told her to leave. - Your gas light. - Wait, where are you going? It's break time, we'll be back in a minute. - You're terrible, you need to leave. - I'm not into this.

The microwave's beeping. Why is the hallway beeping? The hallway's beeping. I don't know what to say. That's why I came. So, I, uh...

Yeah, I worked in concrete, did precast concrete, worked operating the mixer. And then after that, it was the switch where I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, okay, I have 600,000 followers. I want to try and do this full time. I can't do this full time and this work full time because I was up to like three in the morning. That's not healthy to have a few hours sleep and keep going. So I thought, okay, I'm going to leave here. Then I'm going to go and find a job somewhere where I can do it part time. That was framing houses and building fish farms. So

So I did that three days a week and then eventually I started making more with content and then I said, okay. We breezed over fish farms really quickly. I feel like you fucking... It wasn't like there was no fish yet. You need to learn how to tell these stories. You're just like, they're tending to an aquarium. Go back to fish farms. You don't get to gloss over that. So my dad raised me. I went to war for 13 years, killed 100 people and then college started. Let me get into college. So it's like...

Rewind one thing. So the fish farms are actually cool. It wasn't, the docks that we made weren't out of wood. They were these new technology interlocking, like they pour them in molds. Yeah. What kind of fish? I don't, we're so lost. It was rainbow trout. Okay. So I would build the fish farms that the trout would go in, but that was after we left.

So the way that the docks worked is you just, it's like a puzzle. They float, you keep attaching pieces to it, and then you just make the farm. Like a dock that you walk out over the wall.

Yeah, so like we would then throw the next piece in. I was lost on dock. Yeah, I'm still playing catch up. You were a professional fish fucker. Yes. Okay. Yes, but the way that it would work is you do one piece, you'd stand on it, and then you drag the next piece on a rope through the water because it floats, right? And then you put it in, drill in the bolts and whatever, and then you'd step on the next one, drag the next one, and you would keep going until you like wanted it to be a certain size, right? So after you put the liners in, then you're good. You can put fish in.

Is anyone else imagining this in their head and not seeing what's happening? That's exactly what's going on right now. You'd be a terrible movie creator. So you fucked fish. How did you do that without guns? What? How did you do that without guns? The fish are very submissive. Do you have a lot of knives there? Yeah. Stabbing a fish. You want to be like Dr. Fish?

It is hard to explain if you haven't seen it just the way it works. It's such new technology. Like, I could easily say, yeah, I would just make docks out of wood and put a footwork. It sounds like old technology, but... No, it's very, very new. Yeah. I'm so confused right now. I'm like, okay. Don't bully the Canadian. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah.

Your next job, go. Your fish hatchery was a success. This is why I skipped over the damn fish learns. I didn't even understand it myself. This is why I fight bears now. It's like the airplane thing. It's like, why do we put it in airplane mode? We don't.

No, this is fucking magic. Nobody knows while this shit works Fuck with it day for on the job and you're just watching YouTube tutorials like I still don't get it I almost got arrested on the plane by the way speaking of airplane mode because of fish No, so I had downloaded how many fish did you fuck? Yeah, why'd you bring fish on the plane like the stewardess almost fucking kicked me out of the plane mid-flight and

So like going back to college, right? So like there's recorded lectures that the professor puts up or whatever. And I was watching the prerecorded lecture while I was on the plane that I had downloaded and I was not on wifi or anything connected to any cellular network.

But I was on my computer and apparently to the stewardess it looked like I was on Zoom and I was not supposed to be making video calls while I was on a plane. I hate those people. I tried to explain to this 55-year-old stewardess. Yeah, I was actually. Oh, fuck. I was going to say that usually solves your problem. Because Cheryl's fucking amazing. He got me first class tickets. Shout out, Cheryl. Cheryl was like, she was like, is this one okay? I was like, Nick pays it back really quickly on an episode. Cheryl, you made me go in luggage.

I got thrown onto a conveyor belt just slowly. Who did you fly with? UPS. Uncle Dijon had to throw the plane to America to get it here. Shout out DHL for smuggling me in a box.

That box cutter still hurts. Thanks for bringing that other stuff, by the way. But yeah, no, she walked by and saw this lecture going on. I was like, you're not allowed to do video calling mid-flight. I was like, this isn't... It's a pre-recorded lecture that's like four years old. And she's like, it looks like Zoom. I go, well, it is, but it's recorded. And she just didn't understand. You're like, watch me pause it. I was like, I'm just going to put my laptop away. I'm not getting put on a list. I'm already on a list for sure, but I'm not getting... I bet Congress was...

You had a Congress with Zuckerberg moment right there, dude. It's like, yeah. I'm not winning this argument, no matter what I show her. I'm just going to fucking call it a day on this one. If you hit play, will it play a Zoom video? Exactly. Did I ever tell you guys a story about when I got basically the fucking knock and talk because I was drawing something on the plane? I was drawing a gun part.

I would love to hear this. What? No, let's go. It literally happened. So, okay, so we, I was flying economy because I was broke. And I was like in the back of the plane next to the shitters. Like there was nobody back here. Like nobody in the back rows. I was designing a part of a handguard. Like we were working on like, I think it was like an AK-50 handguard or something at the time. So I was drawing out like a fucking gun on a cocktail napkin.

with a pen, right? - Brandon, you do look brown and not Mexican. - That's fair. - It's the Lebanese, it's the Lebanese comes out in the nose. - Bro, you could be typecast as like any, any fucking person in a movie. Like you could be the terrorist, you could be the cartel. - So typecast as any person that is,

Brown and dangerous. I didn't want to say that, Congressman, but fuck. I just picture everyone walking up to the bathroom and they look down and they see Brown Man Herrera just drawing schematics. I had two flight attendants walk by. One of the guys who basically sold me a drink there was just like, well, that's an interesting drawing. And then I had another flight attendant say the exact same thing. Well, that's interesting. I'm just over here like, what the fuck is wrong? Like, I can...

It's not like I'm sitting here drawing swastikas. Like, what the fuck do you want from me? And I had a flight attendant come back and sit in the opposite row and just kind of like, hey, what's your name? How are you doing? Like that sort of thing. I'm like, my name's Brandon. I'm actually doing quite well today. Like, how are you? And it took me a second. I'm like, they made you come. She's like, well, what are you working on? I'm like, well, it's my work. I'm designing something. They made you come back here and talk to me, didn't they?

He's like, no, we're just making sure that everybody's okay. And I'm like, my brain can't comprehend it. I'm like, you made me go through TSA. Are you worried it's going to ooga booga? I'm going to pop it out of a fucking cocktail napkin? Like, what the fuck do you think is... Who knows? God, Nick on that one. Like, I don't know. I just thought of the one drawn Spongebob. I was thinking... Moe Mignon.

- Lady, you're being very polite, but if I can do that, we have bigger problems. - My doodle bob guns. - This little maneuver is gonna cost the American taxpayer another three trillion dollars. - That fucking three trillion dollar box cutter, dude. That's what you were designing, man. - You remember that really shitty thing that happened 20 years ago? It's about to happen again.

Oh my god, never mind. Got it. Joke registered over 20 years ago. Holy shit. It's been a while for that one. I didn't even think about that. On to more fun topics.

Can we go back to wiping our asses? So are you into... What do you do for fun outside of your content? Absolutely nothing. Wish he lived in America. Yeah, yeah. I just wish. I escape Jared Taylor's house for fun. That sounds like a Mr. Beast video. I escape Jared Taylor's house in less than 24 hours for fun. Like, what? But what else do you do? You're like, okay, what sports? Like, racing...

- I haven't really-- - You apparently really like boxing 'cause you know even while they're getting knocked, or if you were knocking out. - I like the sport. I mean, I've been heavily involved with the Pro Fighter League and that's, I love MMA.

That's how you met Logan, I'm assuming. No, actually. We just randomly connected through Instagram. It was a little bit before that PFL event, so it was cool. But I have a lot of friends in Bellator, like American Top Team that I talk to, and that whole world is really cool. I have some friends that train American Top Team, some at Kill Cliff, and it's like they hate each other. So it's cool to be in the middle of that sort of rivalry. Yeah.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I do for fun. I'll just watch the words. Have you been down to Top Team yet? No. No, I've never been there, no. Dude, I went there a fucking... I hear it's a really cool gym. Yeah, Tyrone Spong, the...

The kickboxing champion of the world. Champion of the world. Like fucking gave me three leg kicks. I couldn't walk for a couple of years. I remember that video. That was awful. How about another one? We were with Chuck Liddell and he's like. He didn't walk for like two weeks. Chuck's like, kick him again. I'm like, Chuck, no. Shut up, Mohawk. Oh, God damn it. Words that will never escape my lips to Chuck Liddell. Shut up, Mohawk. I'm on the list of things to say.

Dude, in the back of his hands, like that punch muscle, like right here when you clench your fist, looks like a fucking cancerous tumor on Chuck Liddell. It's scary. Those are my four-inch gloves. He has a fucking canned ham on the end of each one of his wrists. They just spray-painted his hands with the gloves. Can I tell the first time I met Chuck Liddell? Depends on which time it was. At Utah when we were there.

Are we pickle juicing? Oh yeah, I'm gonna pull the pickle juice. That shit's fucking delicious. So I was like, I grew up watching Chuck Liddell and I was like, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna fuck with Chuck Liddell. I'm gonna give him the old boop, like everything. I forgot about this. I was like, I was gonna try this. I was gonna fucking be like, aren't you the X-Science guy? Like I was gonna pretend like I didn't know who he was, whatever.

We showed up. I knew he was going to be there at this event in Salt Lake City that you were there. You were there. Oh, yeah. We were all there. One of our Zydex trips.

I just walked in. I was like, fucking Chuck Liddell's here. I'm going to meet Chuck Liddell. Fucking Chuck is sleeping on the couch snoring. He didn't wake up for like two hours. I'm like mid video game when he wakes up and he starts playing Candy Crush.

It was like, I don't know. Nothing you envisioned. Like, one of the funniest, most humanizing events of my entire life. Like, oh. This is no shit. Like, five minutes after the flamethrower. Yeah. And he's just like, that's kind of cool.

He is a bulldog. Like a British bulldog is Chuck Liddell. To a T. I've not met Chuck at all. I met Randy Couture at MSG. That was cool. Because that was like one of the guys I started, like when I first started getting into watching it. I was blown away at how fucking cool and down to earth Chuck was.

Chuck was. It was the exact same thing. I hung out with Chuck and it was like, well, maybe he treats me different because I'm like fucking influencer or whatever. But like, no, I went out to the bar with them. I saw him take a hundred pictures with random people that knew who he was and he was happy with every single one

He's really nice to his fans. Was that the Sardaukar night? That was the Sardaukar night. When we accidentally doxxed Aaron too. Yeah. I don't know this. Go on on this. Yeah, so we have our Zydex computers, one of our sponsors, and they invite us out and

That was two years ago, I think. It was a year ago, probably. Something like that, yeah. We go down there, and he takes us to one of the only nightclubs that's open in Salt Lake because Mormons. And so...

That's not a joke. No, it's not. It's the only place that's open late at night. They have the weirdest drinking laws ever. Because me and you got day drunk. We tried to get fucking day drunk at that hotel. It just didn't work. You have to do one shot or a beer. You cannot have two drinks at the same time. These shots are measured to a... With an electrical device. Yeah, they have a little device on them that makes sure the shot is perfectly...

Poured. Perfectly poured. Yeah, they're counting liquor like a drug dealer. It sucks. It's insane. It is terrible. We're at this fucking nightclub, and it's just a bunch of college kids, and of course everyone's coming up to Chuck, and they're like, hey, oh my god, you're Chuck Liddell. Can I cut in real quick? Go ahead. Because it's before this.

We're at like a restaurant, we're getting dinner, all of us, and Chuck is just like, "I wanna go to a fucking party." And then we hop in the vans and we go to party. - And we are stacked so thick in this van. It's like a nine person van that there are 11 people in. - It's like Mike Jones is across our laps. - It's like, we're just packed into this fucking van. - At that restaurant, I called my cousin that I haven't seen in 10 fucking years, and I was like, "Hey, you live kinda near Salt Lake City.

Oh yeah, fuck. Can you make it here? I'm with Chuck Liddell and a bunch of other YouTubers and he's like, his wife was nine months pregnant. I don't know if you guys knew that, but he's like, I'm gonna party with Chuck Liddell so he shows up at a restaurant. If you give birth, name him Chuck. He'll text me, he's like, wow.

I'm the coolest person at my military base right now because I have pictures with Cody and Brandon and you and Grand Thumb and Houston Jones and Chuck Liddell and whatever. So he showed up and then we all went to that club together. And the minute we showed up to that club, apparently Chuck knew the guy that owned the club or was the head of security or something. Something like that. That's why we went there. And like eight security guards just walked out and like.

half of the entire room apart and put velvet ropes up and were just taking coffee tables that were full of just food and alcohol and two dudes grabbing the whole coffee table, walking it over and just setting it in front of all of us and everything was free. At least I didn't pay for it. One person in our group who we will not name was so fucking high that

Yeah, we're not going to say who that was. We won't say. There's a lot of people in this room. I'm not going to say who it was, but I was a medic. I naturally kind of care about people in my group, and I walked over. This dude is looking seven years into the future on the couch. And I walk over and I was like, hey, buddy, how are you doing? And he's like.

Would you hand me my water? And he goes like this. And I looked and the water was like this far in front of his face. He couldn't fucking scale that distance on his own. I was like, I would love to. This man was swimming through the Andromeda Galaxy. I handed it to him and he's like,

Thank you so much. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go back to hanging out with these guys. And then that's where you pick up. It's just the water is like the Matrix. As soon as it reaches, all the guns flying by. It's just like, it hits his arm. And that water is just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I can't get that. Hey, can you grab that for me? Yeah, so they're giving us free drinks because Chuck Liddell is in the room. All the drinks. They just roped off half the place for us.

And, I don't know, we just get so fucking hammered. I'm like, hey guys, what if we did the Sardaukar chant to the entire room, like from Dune? Hold on. The hum-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah-ngah. Hold on.

Well, you paid the fucking DJ, what, like two grand? No, no, no. It was 500. It was 500. I remember it being an absurdly high amount for a soccer club. Yeah, I know. I should have offered him 50 bucks, but we were all hammered off of free fucking booze because Chuck was with us. And that guy's 100% not turning $500 down. He's going to tell that club to shut the fuck up.

I know what you're talking about now. Everyone was like... And you guys are laughing like five-year-olds. They're playing Dune. We're cracking. We are literally inconsolably laughing. So that was like when we were walking out. You paid the DJ to play a sort of death dance. Completely killed the entire mood of the place. But right before that, Cody was like...

You were ready to fucking fight some college kids over a pool table. Because they cut you in line because they didn't see your stack of quarters laying there. And you were like, ready to fight three college kids? And I was there like, I mean, I got Cody's back. But also, I got his back. And then this was the first day I'd ever met Nico Ortiz. And Nico was...

10,000% down to fight anybody on the planet. - Everyone. - For anybody that rode in his van to this location. - I think that's when Nico ran home. - No. - No, that was the next day. - Oh, sorry. I was one day off. Continue. - I remember like pulling you to the side. I'm like, look, buddy, I don't think it's that big of a deal. If you fight these guys, I've obviously got your back, but I'll be pissed later. - I'm sitting there like,

I had been an influencer for like nine months at this point. And I was like, bro, I'm going to get in a bar fight. Chuck Liddell's on my team. This is the trip after we went to the bar at the AT4. Yes. I'd done two things with these two. One of them was he's like, Hey, I have a musician friend. We're going to take an AT4 to the bar real quick. Film a music video. The next one was, Hey, do you want to go party with Chuck Liddell and get in a bar fight?

I just picture you, I can picture Cody so good when those people like cut your line. You look at that camera, this is all, Cody's just like, yeah, okay. God damn it. One of the cams. God damn it. No, it was more, it was the casing and then this. It's the head look, it's this right here. I know you so well. It's the head dip where something happens and then it's. Yeah, and he's just like.

I'm sorry. And then one of the college kids finally came over and he was like, hey, man, I didn't see your quarter stacked out there. I'm really sorry. I apologize. My name's whatever. And then Cody was completely fine with the whole situation. I don't think we ever did. We didn't end up playing pool. And he's like, okay, that makes me feel better. We're fine.

Two individuals in our party, none of us here today and unknown persons, but they hopped on these scooters where you can swipe your credit card and ride them for 15 minutes, whatever. We're walking back in a big crew and they grab these scooters and they're doing donuts around us as we're walking, which is completely fine.

Until one person in the middle of Salt Lake City, Utah, downtown on a Friday night with a bunch of foot traffic. With like the OG Mormon church in view decides it'd be really funny if he started yelling,

Joseph Smith is a false prophet. Your religion is bullshit. He's just shouting it at the top of his lungs. I'm like, bro, you need to be quiet. He's like, they're just Mormons. And I'm like, nobody has ever said that prior to 15 years ago. As the designated history guy here, they've done some savage shit. Please shut up. A hundred years ago, this entire city would have giant picket walls around it.

There's a reason the Mormons won the West. You're about to spawn in the afterlife next if you don't knock it off. Anyways, that was a fun night. It was a great time. Nico ran home the next day and slept in a van because he thought it was funny. Nico slept in a van because he was like, I just thought it'd be funny if I slept in the van that night.

Literally. Nico's words. Nico's words. He was like, everyone's going to wake up. I'm like, no one's going to wake up. And no one's going to be like, that's hilarious. I have never met a more genuine person than Nico. Nico's fucking awesome. I love Nico.

One of the greatest humans you will ever meet. Yeah, he called up me and Brandon one night and was like, you want to come to this fight? It was the Diaz. Jake Paul Diaz. Yeah, he was like, hey, I got an Airbnb and I got tickets like almost front row. Do you want to come? It was like second row back from the corner. Yeah. It's like, yeah, Nico, we'll come to that. He's just a genuine fucking dude, man. He's the homie. Oh, I love Nico. Yeah.

Follow Nico Ortiz, please. He literally blew out his fucking voice yelling at me to put up my fucking hands. Dude, his voice was fucking... You can hear it in the DAZN recording. He was louder than me, probably. He was louder than me. Like, you hear me, like, kill, and then you hear, put up your fucking hands from Nico, like... Oh, it brings us fire. There's a part in the fucking... We haven't even talked about that, have we? There's a part in the video where, like, I've watched the recording back just because I'm, like, critiquing my own shit, but you could clearly hear him shout...

Put up your fucking hands! And I go like... I like shrug, I'm like, God damn it. You just get blocking shots looking up like, is this good enough for you? Nico's literally the friend. I could probably call him tonight and say that I was drunk at the bar and needed a ride home and he would get a flight from Las Vegas to come get me an Uber. He probably really needed it. He actually would. He is the fucking homie. My business card...

got canceled while I was in the air. I landed. He was like, do you need money? I'll give you some money. How much do you need? I got, I got, I got a lot stashed. I was like, bro, you're good, my man. I was like, Nico, love you, bro. I need your friendship. And I need that beautiful face of yours. Even what motivates him just to do his content stuff. He's just so fucking selfless. Dude, he's just a genuine, I think that's the proper word is like, he's just a selfless dude. That is a perfect military guy. Did you see his podcast episode with his personal assistant? Oh,

Oh no. Oh dude, it was awesome. The yoga one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where she like, she ended up working for him and he has just like helped her with everything in the world to where now she has like 800, at last I checked, like 800,000 subs on Instagram doing yoga and he like helped her become a successful influencer. Wow.

I don't know. He's one of the best humans. Like, Nico's personality, he is loud. He is, like, he's Nico online. But when you get him in a person, yes, he is loud. He is one of the most...

Humble amazing humans you will ever meet and just wants to help everyone you like oh, I love these people There's there's instances where like you have people whose online persona is is the same as who they are in person Which I like to think is me like me Cody You know a lot of us are the same people we are online as offline like some people have a very like I guess dramatic internet persona and like it kind of rubs people the wrong way but like that's not how they actually are in real life and

Like, Nick, you're very animated, especially back when you did the TikTok short stuff. You were a very animated person. Yeah, I had to be. And that's just how content works. That's just how it is. Yeah, Nico's one of those dudes where he's always like, bro! I'm like, online, but you sit down with him and he's like, so let's talk analytics. Dude, he's one of the smartest dudes you'd like. Wicked smart. Wicked. My boy's wicked smart. Yeah, my boy's wicked smart. He's one of those people that, and he hates when I say this, but like,

sitting down in a room with him, you're like, oh, I'm not the smartest person here. No, this is this guy over here. He just wants you to have a good time.

You're like, I don't know this fucking... Honestly, no. To be honest with you. You guys have been ranting about this guy for 10 minutes. I don't ever want you guys to feel like, oh... I feel bad for you. Dylan, are you... No, honestly, just the sheer fact that I'm down here, to me, is like, even a year ago, I never would have pictured, and I've never met such a genuine group of people in my entire life. That's a good question. How is it now from that previous, like, hey, I'm butchering shit, I'm doing fish farms, hatcheries, and now...

And now I'm building docs. I'm building docs. Sorry. And now that we don't understand social media, is that how crazy it's, it's jump because it explaining it to people is one of the hardest things to do. You're like, Oh, cause everyone's mind. It's like, Oh, like that would be so dope. The best way I can, the best way I can explain it.

I've never tried to think too much. I try to just go with the flow and figure shit out because I'm always constantly trying to adapt. Like my entire life is, I don't want to go through my entire life, but I've always had to like fixate on a new period. Like, okay, I can't do this anymore. I got to do this. I got to do this. Like I've always jumped from like subject to subject, whether it be moving or like family splitting up, like it's always been something. So this is just to me is just another adjustment that I have to make.

But for the most part, I think the biggest change is sometimes people be like, hey, man, I just want to let you know, like, I have a really bad time in life and I watch your videos and they cheer me up. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm doing that for somebody. Those are always nice to say. Even if. It's fucking weird, isn't it? It is weird because I sit there and I'll upload. Yeah, yeah. I am a degenerate. Why make me one?

I know this is bizarre. I've had parents be like, "My son loves your stuff. He's eight years old." I'm like, "Ahhh!" Not the right age, Gurby. That's always really uncomfy. But for me, I think I like to put myself in their mindset because I've been on the other side where I've messaged influencers being like, "Hey, just want to let you know, like, I really appreciate, you know, your content, whatever." I'm like, "You know what? They never responded to me and I would have been so happy

Like even it would have just made my dad could have the shittest day ever and somebody that I reached out to just so I will take the time and write a full on paragraph or I'll send them a video message. I mean, like I appreciate that man. And there it's always like all cats. Holy shit. Like it gets so excited. Yeah. And even, even you guys, like I know like this is true for a lot of us.

Even though we can't reply to all fucking thousands of comments that we get all the time, we do read them. So whether or not you guys know, it does mean a lot to us. This is from YouTube, Reddit, Twitter. All platforms. Yeah, all platforms. And we appreciate it. We like the feedback. As I always say, I think it's that we work for them. We wouldn't have our platforms without.

out you all out there. And that's why we're super thankful. And we're like, yes, we joke, we do this. And we try to show, because it is the hardest thing, because it's like the working class is super important to me and my pops. I'm sure everyone at this table is like the working class is super important. I think everybody at this table was part of the working class. Yeah. And that's why it's like super important. Hey, we fucking appreciate, we know your struggle, and we are privileged to have this now. And it was through a lot of fucking hard

working and bludgeoning tears across the board. I can say that. Like, Cody lived in your parents' basement. This is after being out of the military doing videos until it took off. I do. Left policing to do all that after, like, you know, I grew up in a fucking trailer. I, uh,

I was a server, I worked construction, I did all that shit. - You have meat, you were like animal butcher, then the fish, like Canadian. - Animal butcher, yeah, animal butcher. - Talk about a Canadian. - Animal butcher, animal butcher. - Yeah, you're like, "I gotta do this." - I think the biggest part for me though is

it's like, holy shit, like I'm actually like making a difference. And that's the biggest thing to me. And whenever I sit there and get an opportunity to come down here, I do genuinely think like I would not be able to do this without the people that have supported me. And I always say that I make that very apparent is I will never forget that fact of life that I am only sitting at this table

because people have supported me and been on my team when they don't even know me. That's crazy because a lot of friends and family didn't support. It was strangers. It's weird. That's the craziest part. You're going to make a ninja cry in the club. Yeah.

It's hard because even Brandon, we all had hard trips. We were talking about four or five years ago, I was literally scraping together fucking dimes under the seat of my flood car at the time so I could buy a 99-cent cheeseburger at McDonald's because I was hungry after being a college dropout. None of us started out succeeding. No, I can tell you the gas station in Renton, Washington that allows you, if you have a dollar...

on your card that will overcharge. They're like, it just registers so you can put like $50 in your car. - You take the overdraft. - Yeah, and you're like, okay, well I'm gonna get paid for a few more days, I gotta do this.

Fill it up. Yo, boy. I did that multiple times because I'm like, gotta make this work. I don't need sleep. I'm fine. When I got that. That was from his second YouTube video editing. It's crazy. No, like I ruptured my arm. I was, I had like, I just had my first kid cutter and I was just fucking like mad that I just didn't have as much free time as I did before. So I was,

Basically, I was fucking ego lifting like I didn't warm up the way I should have when I was bench pressing I was bench pressing like fucking 405 and the third round my bicep my bicep fucking ruptured 405 I don't think that's ego lifting at 405 You're fucking lifting. It was third rep for whatever reason my bicep fucking ruptured Retracted into my chest and then I was off work. You're bicepted?

Or sorry, my peck. My peck sucked in the middle of my chest just like the videos you see online. I hate that. So I did that and that's when I was at home fucking high on Percocet after getting surgery to repair my peck. Nice. And I was at high...

or at home high on Percocet. And I just downloaded TikTok finally. I watched TikTok for like 12 hours a fucking day. I was like, oh, I can make a TikTok. I can be funny. I did it. I got like 12 million views on a TikTok talking about my favorite grocery store. Your first one? Yeah. You fuck you. Fuck you, Nick. We've talked about this before. You've had one of the most meteoric rises. I know. Ever. It was so dumb. This next segment's called Fuck You.

- Can we do a t-shirt that says fuck you, Nick, across it? - But no, like, so before I downloaded TikTok, like I was at, I was off work. I just had my first kid. My wife couldn't go back to work yet. And like, I was doing DoorDash trying to make money. And it was like the lowest point of my fucking life. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. 'Cause I like, I was ego lifting. I got hurt and now I can't provide for my wife and kids.

I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet made a tech talk, got 12 million views. And then this fucking happened out of nowhere. Fuck you, Nick. I know there was a time I remember like my, my dad had pulled me to the side. This is like a few years ago. Like before I'd started, you know, you can start making money and start doing all this stuff. But like, I was like, I've got to make this work. He pulled me to the side. He's like, dude,

You're not sleeping. You're not healthy right now. Because I'm just like, you've got it. I'm like, I have one option right now because I'm not going back to fucking school, not going back to law school, not doing all that shit. I'm going to make this fucking work.

So I was just working like as much as I could. It was really unhealthy. I'd probably, I would change a lot of things if I go back, but he was just like, dude, you are going to die. But it got like, so I, this is, I listen to motivational shit during workouts. It's what motivates me for my workout. And then the rest of my day, because it is a dream is something you don't give up on no matter what. Yes. You might stumble. Yes. You might fall, but it is that perseverance. It's going to get you through it. And that is what separates fucking,

Fucking 99% of everyone. It's like, yeah, dude, one, like only 1% has that ability to be like, fuck it. I'm going, there is no plan B. I have plan a, and I'm going to make plan a fucking work no matter what. I don't give a shit if it takes one year, five years, a decade, two decades. I have to stay the course and I have to make this work.

And I'm going to sacrifice everything in order to make it happen. And a lot of that is what separates a lot of people. People can't push through the uncomfortable phase because it gets uncomfy for a fucking bro. For some of us.

I know other fucking fuck head over here. Oh door - for a month Nick's the lowest boys Electrician after that for like a year. Oh, I'm not wearing it. I was the most confrontational dickhead on the planet. I don't need this

Pretty much. Yeah. I think the most important thing that I got taught from my first job is my first manager, Darren. And he used to say to me, he's like, Dylan, it doesn't matter what you do in life. Like you're working out of butchers. Just try and be the best butcher you can possibly be. He's like, because even if you don't want to be the best butcher, it's still, it's your first job. This needs to be instilled into you that you need to put passion in anything that you do.

And I didn't understand at the time, but I listened and I was like, okay. Like any job I've ever had, I've always tried to be the best. So it was like flipping a burger. It's like, be the best burger flipper. Like it's...

it's a unique skill that you can actually gain by trying and by practice. But some people don't get told that. Some people are like, oh, you work at Walmart. Like, who cares? No, try to be like the best employee you can be. Because then I made that switch. When I was sitting there in my office, I'm like, I get told all the time, you're a great worker. And I'm like,

I should be a great worker for myself. And then that's when I started focusing and I already had the ability to have the passion and the drive to do it because of what I learned doing my minimum wage jobs that okay, I can put this into myself and I was ready.

Like it was still hard, don't get me wrong, like the three hours a night sleeping for that first six months of trying to make the switch from full time work to full time content. But you have to, everybody has to go through a hardship. If it was easy, everybody would do it. So...

You need to, like, even if you feel like never give up, even if you feel like you're doing something that's like, oh man, what if it's not? Who cares? Like, you're only here once. I love the trajectory these last few podcasts have taken where like we start with like cum and dick jokes and like the last 30 minutes is like inspirational. Like, we believe in you guys and you can fucking win and here's how to do it. I truly believe if you push, if

And this doesn't just apply to YouTube. This applies to literally anything you want to fucking do. Exactly. That's the thing. Like I said, you get it at the start. You can apply it to anything. It doesn't matter what it is. It's just getting the motivation to just shut the fuck up, motivate yourself, and do it. Because there's a million fucking people. I can give you a million examples of people who want to be YouTubers, people who want to be the best at X, Y, and Z. Here's what I always say. It's like, you know what's the difference between Elon Musk and...

Not a goddamn thing. Both of you are human. Yes, he might have more IQ in certain aspects of life, but guess what? He just put in the effort. He learned the process, and he kept driving for PayPal, then Tesla, then...

And then SpaceX, he was just like, I want to learn this. I'm going to be the best at it. He is still fucking human at the end of the day. It is just the motivation to... Unlike Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, but it's that motivation, it's that success where it's like, no, I can't fucking quit. I can't give an excuse to quit. Like for me, one of my biggest motivational factors was Raiden. I'm like, hey, Raiden isn't going to have...

a normal life no matter what. But it is my job as a dad to set him up for success, teach him hard work, push him, but also make sure he is taken care of for the rest of his life. And that was one of my biggest driving factors. And I've always built my life. I'm like, okay, no safety net,

I will jump to L.A. like the second Freddie and Rocky was like, hey, you want to move to L.A. and work? Fuck yeah. They're like, I'm going to move there. I mean, I have to make a job. I have to make income and I have to find an apartment. And that's another thing, too, like those opportunities, because like a lot of people talk about luck. Right. They say, oh, well, you got lucky. It's like, no, no, no, no. I truly believe this. Like this is like a running theory of mine. Luck, as most people understand it, is the ability to recognize opportunity and then taking advantage of it.

Because a lot of people have these opportunities. And being ready for it. Yeah, preparation, you know. Dude, exactly. We just became a motivational podcast. God fucking damn it. I do think there is like sort of with certain aspects, there is like a genetic limitation. Like if you want to be a bodybuilder, but your muscles are weak, like it's not going to happen. But I think, or if you're a singer, like some people, yeah, you can learn to sing, but like...

- But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Like if you'll find something that you're good at and that's when you need to be able to apply what like all the rest of it. - But at that point you can still do it. - Of course. - You can be like,

Fuck it. So like I'm jujitsu guy. Like the greatest grappler on earth right now is Gordon Ryan. He's a genetic freak, but on top of it, he's insanely talented. Yeah. But his head coach is John Donahue, who's not necessarily a genetic freak, but he's the coach of the best grappler on earth. Yeah. So like you can always be the guy that makes it happen. Yeah. Yeah.

so that it's almost like a fallout stat sheet you know if you're already starting life with 11 intelligence but three strength maybe don't be a bodybuilder right yeah you know i'm gonna figure out what you're good at what you're passionate about and like pick that thing and go in all all in on that and one of the biggest things is don't fucking quit because or get to that part where you're like i'm good enough in this brandon still probably review stuff like even for

Firearms, like hey, here's the new tech, this is how it works, you're continuing to better yourself, whether it's firearms, YouTube, or whatever it is. Nick, same thing. Everyone is bettering themselves in their aspect of life. Just because I have a decent understanding of cameras, still fucking watching videos on cameras, still learning directing beats, editing each little piece of the pie, I'm like, how do I better myself?

even more each and every day. - Just piss off gun manufacturers. That's all you have to do. - Science. - That's why we're gonna have a spicy course start soon. - Piss off Sig. - Have you seen the beginning of Casino? - But for real, kids, if you wanna be a shitty influencer, learn to trade first.

Yes. I learned a trade. I'm going to call being a police officer a trade. Like, it's very reassuring when you have a wife and kids. If you're like, you become moderately successful on social media, you'd be like, well, my new rock bottom is whatever a police officer's salary is or an electrician's salary or a bricklayer and...

carpenter? Fish farmer. Fish farm dog. How much does a fish farmer make in Canada? I told you I didn't touch the salmon. Mexicans are plus two. That's your background? When we were born we were like plus two. This caviar is fertilized. What the fuck?

I came on it. What did you want me to do? The way my brain works. The instruction's not clear. That's how mermaids are made. The way my brain's been working is I'm sitting there like, this is really good motivational stuff. Meanwhile, there's some serial killer. I'll be the best serial killer I ever could be because the unsubscribed podcast motivated me. Don't do that. Stop that. The one comment, I got it. It was straight back four years from now. Oh, no.

Yeah, on death row, I just want to thank the unsubscribed podcast. I'm going to make X Tragedy look like a fucking joke. Please don't. They said, do the best you can. Motivate others. No, no, no.

Thanks, unsubscribe. Well, he got the brick in his hand. Thanks, unsubscribe. It's the new subscribe to PewDiePie. So, real question. Are you going to subscribe to America? Are you moving here or what? I've been thinking about it. Yeah? I've been thinking about it for sure. Yeah.

There's still a lot of scouting I have to do to make sure. I can't live at Jared Taylor's house. Jared Taylor can't live at Jared Taylor's house. But I don't know. Just exploring the states and everything, I...

Yeah, it's definitely an option. So like you're sitting over here like freedom, free health care. It's not even free health care at the end of the day. They tax the living snot out of you for it. If you want something done here in the U.S., you go up there if you have money. Yeah, I think, I mean, I'm not a tax expert, but I just know like they handed me a paycheck and I was like, is this it? And then it breaks it down and like, oh, this is your health care. I'm like, what?

I have a headache once a month. Like, I don't need... Yeah, it's crazy how much they pay out. And then you see people, you go to the hospital. I've always been an advocate for this would fix 99% of the issue in the Canadian healthcare system. The amount of times I've gone to the hospital with like a genuine emergency, like I'm tunnel visioned with a migraine or something. I need something, like I don't know what's going on. And I see so, it's literally like the family episode where it's like, my foot's asleep.

It's like there's people there that go there just because they know, oh, I can get perks. Yeah, I can get Oxy. I can get hooked up to an IV. If you go there and the doctor determines it was not an emergency, you need to pay $500. That would stop...

so many people from going there. It would stop me from having to wait seven hours at a hospital. - Like a deductible like we have. - Yeah, gee. - So crazy. - Legitimately, out of curiosity, having worked at Blue Collar Job, roughly what percentage of your paycheck was just deducted from, I understand there's taxes, we have state, you have provincial?

- Yeah, I wasn't-- - Provincial tax, whatever. But like what percent of your income gets taken from taxes before you even see the money? - If you make $100,000,

straight up in Ontario, they tax you 52%. - Jesus Christ! - Holy fuck! - No, that's-- - What? - So you're making 48 grand? - Yes. Now obviously if you claim-- - Holy shit! - If you make 100,000-- - And that's before sales tax, that's before anything else. - If you make 100,000 and you write off like 50,000 of that, but let's say you make 100,000, 50,000 of that is write offs, the government would then only tax you on 50,000.

so it's not like if you that hundred thousand would have to be straight up your tax your income like yeah i understand that yeah but if that's on paper you make a hundred thousand that if you don't claim anything or write anything off they will take 50 around 50 bro in texas we don't even pay income tax i'm moving to texas yeah no the taxation is brutal

I'm sorry, did you just say "will"? Will take you? Will take you. Yeah, gee, thanks guys. Nick's moving to Texas, you heard it. No I'm not. Nick's moving to Texas, everyone! He's gonna be a host. I'm just gonna fly here once a month, okay? I'm not moving to Texas. No, I'm gonna be Nick's neighbor in Iowa. He's legit, I've got him 98% sold on Iowa. It's literally just a left turn and then I'm at his house. We actually looked at it.

He's like straight left of me. Jesus fucking Christ. I still can't wrap around. 40% just gone. Oh, it's blowing my mind right now. For not doing a thing. Oh, I would be shooting people far before that. Me and him stayed up. Because I stay at the unsub house at night and you guys all go home because you live here. But me and him were up until like 1 in the morning talking and I was explaining to him how tax loopholes work in the American system. And he's like...

that seems dumb as fuck. And I go, yeah, it's pretty awesome. Pretty cool. I've seen how the American government spends my money and I think I can spend it better. I explained to him how something worked earlier and he's like, and, and that,

that's legal to do that? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, that's really interesting. That's nice. They know, like, if you want to just see to the degree it's fucked up, they know how much you owe every fucking year. You still have to file everything to a T, and if you miss it is when they'll be like, hey, fuckhead. Audit time. Why didn't you just send me it?

Well, 20 years ago, whenever, 40 years ago, whenever all those happened, it was like, because it used to just a mail, you get a check, it's like, or a letter to a T. Here's a bill. Yeah. And then it just switched to the most convoluted system in the fucking world. This is what I was told the other day. And I'm like, you know what? I actually, I don't hate that idea. If you stopped employers from being able to withhold taxes from people on their paychecks and you made Mr. And Mrs. America pay

write a check to the government every year for how much they owe in income tax, you'd have a tax revolution overnight. Oh, instantly. People don't realize how much they're taxed. Not as much as Canada, but still. Jesus Christ, it is so much of your fucking... Oh my God, that would be the best. If you want a wake-up call for one year, we'll implement this for one year. Brandon Herrera for congress.com. I'm just pointing it out.

I get taxed before I spend my money and then when I spend my money and then I get taxed on the assets that I bought with the money that I was taxed on twice. And then when you die. And then when you die. If you don't know how to establish a trust, you have to go through probate. And then for every year you own property until you die. Yeah. It's like, you know, when we were all younger, it's like you're always looking forward to your tax return.

You're like super happy to get your tax return. For $1,200. Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. I can like pay my rent this month. That was like 2% of what you paid. It's an interest-free loan that you just gave the government. That's all it is. 100%. Everyone look into what you're paying taxes on and get back to us. Yeah, if you think you're getting free money when you're tax returning, you gave them that money. They're giving you a small portion back. It's because they made you overpay. Wow.

That's all it is. We just got on a list, didn't we? I'm gonna get super anti. I'm gonna, like, upset a lot of, like,

further right-wing people. I'm on your side, trust me. I did the math on how much money the average American spends towards food stamps, and it's like, it's disproportionate. Disproportionate anger is put on that. Yeah, no, I mean, that's true. Entitlements are super low. It's like 36 cents per American taxpayer goes towards food stamps.

food stamps and I'm like, look, I understand the system gets abused. Do you want to hear a cop story? Kind of. One second, though. Always story time with Cody. Finish yours and we'll go to the cop story. Oh, I was just going to say, like,

I mean, yeah, like I'm not happy when somebody whips out the old EBT card to buy lobster either, but also like 36 cents a month to make sure that some kids aren't malnourished and shave IQ points off to prevent fucking morons from wandering around America in the future. I mean, it's obviously fucking like there's problems with the entitlement system.

It is disproportionate anger compared to what the United States government does. There's plenty of fucking dumb shit that the government spends money on besides that. I still don't agree with it. People should focus more on the other dumb shit. We would spend our money willingly...

It's like if they just got rid of the dumb shit. If they had just a checklist that's like, hey, do you want to spend money on X, Y, or Z? Yeah. Done and done. Then I don't have access to that. I'll fucking live with that the rest of my life. Give me roads, borders, and defense. That's never the case, though. It's like I need to build an $80 million library that my nephew gets to be the fucking leader of for 80 years. That my uncle's name is on. $1.2 billion a year goes to unused...

government buildings. But how will kids in Pakistan learn that they're... These are the hard-hitting questions. $6 million will go towards that. That's not a fucking joke. That was in South Africa. They did it for $20 million. Yeah.

That's a legit thing. Why the fuck can't we get single issue spending bills? Jesus Christ, it's not that fucking hard. Okay, Cody, police start. This is not going to save you whatsoever. We're turning you into old white men. Like local shit, I would show up to like, like I did this, there was a raid one time. It's like a drug fucking apartment. We show up.

Sounds fun. Yeah, there's like $20,000 in cash on the couch. And then the four people who had the apartment, they were all on welfare, Section 8, like everything. Nothing.

But they had $20,000 in cash just sitting there because they were doing dope. It's a game show, Cash Couch. I saw that one time. I don't know. I don't think that was a different website. That one affects me. Every time I have to pay like hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes every year, that affects me right there. But how are the children of Raytheon executives going to eat? It's like...

I just suck, man, because when I was a cop, there were so many people that were having kids just to get more welfare, because the more kids you have, the more welfare you get. And we would do these drug raids on these apartments, and there's like 20, 30, $40,000 in cash just hanging out in their apartments, but they're just taking this from the government. It's a whole thing. Yeah.

I'll shut my fucking mouth right now. This hurts my... No, it's funny. My attorney's here. I grew up super broke and I like explain how the world works to my wife who's very innocent and she's like blown away. We were trying to return something at like Target or Walmart one day and this lady, like we watched her do it. Like she literally walked through, bought...

two 10 pound chunks of hamburger at the grocery store and then immediately walked from the cash register to the return line and returned the hamburger meat immediately. And I was like, she's like,

is something wrong with that meat is it bad and i was like no sweetheart that she paid for it with ebt and now she's going through the return line to return the hamburger and then she's going to get paid cash because target can't recharge her ebt card so they have to give her cash so she's getting cash instead of food for her food stamps and my wife is like why is that legal i don't know we had food stamp houses that that like we would bust sometimes

where you could go in and you could bring them like steaks and stuff and they would give you fucking crack for it. And it's like, cause the government was paying for those steaks. And so they were just trading it out for crack. Um,

I'd rather take the steak. Yeah. Sprinkle it on the steak. So you're moving to America. Are you going to be American soon? Hopefully. We're taking applications all the time. When's it happening? I don't know. I have to go over the giant ice wall.

That's the thing, I got first, first though, I still have them, I gotta smuggle these plastic straws back through to Canada so I don't have to deal with- I swear to god, I've been hanging out with this guy for three days and he's been like "I can't believe you guys are allowed to have plastic straws" and he's just been putting them in his pockets like- So what did they say? Damn gribble with fucking pocket sand. It's not like plastic straws are contraband or anything but like they're not allowed to manufacture them anymore?

I have no idea. All I know is, yeah, it's the ridiculousness of it. It's like, why paper straws? Well, they dissolve in water. Sounds anti-receptacle. Sounds like a great water receptacle. I knew. Can we talk about your skit? I mean, we can. I love the idea. Well, I mean, it depends if we want to do it one day. Oh, that is true. Fucking hilarious. So fuck, I'll take it.

We'll do it better. So it's fine. Go. I've always wanted to do a skit. I've had this skit idea where you just go to a Starbucks or some shit like that. And it's just like everybody's, oh, okay, well, what can I get for you? Order a drink, whatever. Oh, would you like a plastic or paper straw? Plastic, please. Lights dim. Just one spotlight on you like the barista. So you don't give a fuck about the turtles then.

What no I just I want to I want to I want a plastic straw. Are you sure? Yeah, bring it out and like on a room room service tray. You just have like a covered You almost want it and like we're gonna do this together We're gonna shoot this right now together cuz you have like the lights dim with like I'll take a with the straw please and you like plastic or paper and

And then they bring out this fucking tray. Yeah, you're like, plastic. And then the lights dim. It's like, are you sure, sir? You have that contrast. Yeah. It's like, well, yeah, yeah, plastics. Just cuss. It's like, whoa. Yeah, they bring out this fucking, like, the cart. The lights.

And it just like, they rip the fucking sheet off of it and it's just a sea turtle like puppeted just like killed the turtle. And we'll give you your plastic straw. They just give you a fucking like ceremonial hammer like fucking fucking Russian style. A cricket bat. I don't want, I just want a plastic straw. No. You wanted to kill a turtle. Here's your fucking turtle. Just like

Just fucking kill the turtle. The blood spraying all over the barista's face. Mixing with your tears. You wanted this! I hate my autism. My brain is... I can see it perfectly in my vision. Because I just picture like this head, like a puppeteer head. It's like...

Like, getting hit. And then it just cuts back. You're just cutting back and, like, hitting it with a fucking mallet. But then it cuts back and everybody's perfectly normal. All the lights are back on. They're like, here's your drink. And you're just, like, blood still on face.

Yeah, and then all of a sudden you just... There you go. Thank you. It's that last one before it's like... It's looking up to you fucked up. And you're looking like this for that last stroke. And it goes like this. One flipper goes up.

And then he trummed out. And they're like, here you go, sir. What'd you talk about on the podcast last week? I don't know. We American history X'd a turtle. And on that note, we're going to cut this.

Bite the curb. I know. Stay tuned for the 10, 20, whatever minute after show. After show. Thank you guys so fucking much on that note. We're going to end it. Dijon, where do we find you, you beautiful son of a bitch? Uncle Dijon, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook. Going to be starting Law and Form content soon on YouTube. And soon in America. Exactly. Coming to an American state near you.

Made in America. Thank you so much for having us. No, thank you. It's my pleasure. Guys, the beautiful hosts, thank you for joining on another episode of Unsubscribe. We love you. Fuck off. It's the Spider-Man meme. Yeah, everyone flip off the cameras. Sorry.