131 - Stolen Valor, Purple Hearts & IEDs ft. Brandon Herrera, Crispy & Jack
02:01:01 Share

Welcome to unsubscribe. Don't be an alcoholic because of the war. Be an alcoholic because of your genetics. Welcome to the watch list or the different one, I guess. Welcome to the community. General Alabaster. You know, this podcast is going to end your political career. There's got to be another war you guys can die in or something.

Four years. That's how long it took Democrats to ruin our economy and plunge our southern border into anarchy. Who helped them hurt us? Ruben Gallego. Washington could have cut taxes for Arizona families, but Ruben blocked the bill. And his fellow Democrats gave a bigger break to the millionaire class in California and New York. They played favorites and cost us billions. And Ruben wasn't done yet.

Democrats could have secured the border. Instead, they invited an invasion and used our tax dollars to pay for it. Ruben Gallego even backed the law to let them vote in our elections. Don't give Gallego and the Democrats another four years to hurt us. Give your support to a real Arizona leader, Carrie Lake.

Kerry and the Republicans will secure the border, support our families, and never turn their backs on us. Kerry Lake for Senate. I'm Kerry Lake, candidate for U.S. Senate, and I approve this message. Paid for by Kerry Lake for Senate and the NRSC. Wait, we've got to pop the top first. Three, hold on. Wait, three, two, one.

Crispy's fingers don't work so good. My fingers don't work so good, Mr. Stark. It is the Veterans Day episode, so naturally we bought our beautiful burnt boy, Crispy. Our beautiful, not burnt boy. Fat boy. Fat boy. Jack Mandeville. And a non-veteran. And our honorary veteran buddy, Brandon Herrera. Let me just get this taken care of. Excuse me. Hold on.

Jack, thank you for your service. Thank you. You're welcome, sir. Thank you for your service. You're welcome for my service. Thank you. Thank you. Brandon, sit down.

Wait, what are we doing? Hey, will you take me to fucking chill? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'm not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry. Not crying. This time I'm not crying. Guys, gals, community as a whole, from YouTube to Reddit to Instagram to Twitter, thank you. I'm at a loss for words just the amount of support. I just gotta say thank you. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the kindness. We're putting them back in. Truly, thank you for everything. For everything. You all are amazing humans.

And this episode is a Veterans Day episode. I wanted to do something special for not only the community, but also all the vets out there, the soldiers, the military. This is an amazing episode. I am, ah, the stories you are about to hear, you're going to laugh, you're going to smile. You might cry. I don't think so. We'll figure it out. Guys, gals, thank you for everything. You all are amazing humans.

Also, make sure you like, subscribe, hit that bell notification, and on Apple, Spotify, all those things, go leave a review. You guys already support us so much. Y'all are amazing. Thank you. Double salute. I knew immediately where that was going. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, if you put that on. Hey, here come the accusations. If you put that on, you can come to Warfighter Scuba because we require purple heart recipients only. Oh, God.

I'm telling you. It's yours, Brent. I'll treasure it always. We'll hand it off for parking spaces. I got two. I got two. You can have one. Yeah, I was actually going to ask him about that. I was like, man, I only have one. Crispy's got two.

That's my new souvenir from this episode. I was like, I was like searching my house. I was like, where the fuck did I put that thing? A beautiful check and under couch cushions. I'm like, huh? Sav was like, in the box. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, okay. I said, the only reason I know where mine are is because my wife, Sav, Sav put it in the sink. She's like, she's like, I'm going to put your parts in next to all your books. I was like, okay, cool. Yeah.

Welcome, everyone. It is Veterans Day. So we were like, hey, let's get an episode together with some dope-ass veterans that we know and just have a good old time today. Saturday is the Armistice Day. Armistice Day. Armistice. What is that? Armistice Day. Armistice Day.

Started in 1918 and then the year after, it was actually, I never knew. Amnesty Day? I thought he was making that shit up. Armistice Day. Armistice Day. Starting in 1911. And then I guess happy related Marine Corps birthday. Yeah. Yeah, because that's on Friday. Oh, shit.

Man, all the holidays are back to back. I didn't know Veterans Day literally came, like, as you said, 11th hour, 11th day, 11th month, World War I ended. They cited the armistice. You got the word right. And then the next year is when President Woodrow Wilson was like, hey, we have to recognize this, but it didn't go into effect until what?

Weeks. Something weeks. We're the only country that pretty much does Veterans Day, but the rest of the world celebrates Armistice Day. Armistice Day. Supposed to celebrate the...

you know peace yeah the peace which they could maintain in europe for more than 20 years before they were back thankfully we signed a very fair treaty with germany that would have no repercussions 17 years at all period well it's crazy because then it was in until 1947 the weeks the raymond weeks he was the father of veterans day so he's the one that made it

into an actual national holiday and Congress passed it in 1904. Damn, Skippy, you got to. Someone was Googling shit last night. Up in here, up in here. Not about that stuff. Cameras and stuff. Really good. Well, no. History I can just digest. Okay, remember. Good. And it will be deleted by tomorrow. If there's a new camera coming out, I get a fucking text from me like, bro, check this shit out. I'm like...

I have FX3, bro. I'm good. Bro, I'm not going to lie. You lost me three sentences in. I was keeping up until then. Now you're in the weeds. Now I have no idea. Welcome, boys. Thank you guys for coming out, having a good old time. Yeah, man. Dude. And then Brandon, again, thank you for your service.

I joke around I'm like I never did anything in the military, but I served a 25-year tour in Fort Bragg Doing Stolen Valor is really fun

I've been doing it for four years now and it's like the best if you need any tips or anything like that Just let me run down real quick. I was doing a USO show some years back and you know, you chatted up with the troops afterwards and one of them gave me this cool red hat and

He said it was his unit. I'm like, oh, thanks, man. I put it in my luggage and didn't think about it until we got home. And then I put it on. I was walking around San Antonio, and all these dudes were like, hey, were you in Red Horse? Were you Red Horse? I'm like, I don't know what that means. It's like, it's the unit on your hat. I'm like, cool. And then I just, they kept, people got so excited when they'd see this hat. I just started saying, yes, I was Red Horse. I went into Wikipedia. I can tell you I was out of the 119th Squadron out of Nevada. Yeah.

And I started openly telling people I was doing Stolen Valor. So all these Red Horse guys, they got super excited and started sending me all their Red Horse swag. They were encouraging me to do Stolen Valor. So now I got Red Horse shirts. When the actual guys are encouraging you to do it, is it really stolen at that point? I don't know. But the key is you don't go too big. You don't go seals, green braids, all that bullshit. Because then people know what questions to start asking you.

If you say Red Horse, they're just going to believe you. Yeah. Acquired. Yeah. So I'm really proud of my military service with the Red Horse. Speaking of Stolen Valor, have you seen that one guy? Like the Stolen Valor videos are always kind of funny. But there was that one dude who's walking around like full uniform, but he's got sneakers on. Oh, yeah. Like Nikes. And they're like, no, no, no. I was issued these. Yeah. What's your MOS? My MOS issues these.

these. I think that's what he said. I'm pregnant. You know what's crazy? Out of this whole table, Jack's the only one without a purple heart. And he's been shot. Did you know that? For a while there, I was at the peak of the Iraq war. I was...

I was probably the only Marine in the Marine Corps with a gunshot wound without a Purple Heart. Has he told the story? Last week or two weeks ago. We had it. We don't know. Because you have two Purple Hearts. That's the one I was like, I think you got shot for your first one. I remember...

I remember when we were at your house years ago and you were over there and it was late at night and you go, God, I have a headache. And Omar just disappears and comes back and he just, thank you for your service. That sounds like something you fucking do. I had cooked a brisket and he said something. He's like, do you believe Chris and I have the same award? And I was like...

That sounds like an Eli thing. Motherfucker, we do. And someone was like, you got yours playing video games. I was like, uh. How did you get your first one? You got shot. Yeah. Just. Firefight. Just random. That's the whole. Fucking.

dig into that storyline. Yeah, it's very insane. It's very insane. Ah, shit. You were shooting two ARs at the same time? Jesus Christ. Yeah, see? That's why you have to expand on the... It's a little hard to tell what you're trying to say. Sorry.

Stop throwing gang signs. Jack's hat brought it out of me. So you were in, was that Iraq? It was as good as your Red Horse hat. And then you were up just on the 50-cal mounted, just laying waste.

Yeah, it was a firefight. I literally didn't even know. Then I was like, oh, wait, what's that warm feeling? Oh, cool. You guys have the shields on yours? Not at the time. So that was early on in the war before... Was that in 04? No, that was 06. 06, yeah. But it was... That was that weird transition period. It was because...

What they ended up doing was after that, like the Iraqis kind of figured it out that they could drop grenades from the top. So then we built the HESCO baskets. And then I guess it was like a, what was it? I don't remember. I think it was a mechanic.

that, or, yeah, it was a mechanic that noticed that a lot of the turrets were being shot at too. And the rounds were going through and wounding a lot of guys. So then that's when they use the extra bulletproof windows to put there. So it was like, it was an evolution, dude. Like it was crazy. You got to watch it too. It's,

You were one of the statistics that led to it. We lost a guy. We lost a guy to a grenade that they threw from the top. So when you say throwing from the top, where are they trying to aim for? They'll drop when you're going in patrols. You'll have because it's multiple story buildings a lot of the time. So they just... They also create... They're trying to get it to land on the top of the... Yeah, they just pretty much like... They watch you from like, I don't know, let's say a 10 fucking story building or something, right? Yeah. And you're a Humvee on the bottom. I mean, most of the time the gunners are scanning...

either from nine to freaking three and whatever. But you're not really looking up. So just logistically speaking, are they trying to airburst you? No, they're popping it, dropping it down, hoping it falls in there and hits it. Catastrophic kill. Because you're like, you want some of the most stressful patrols. It's a day patrol and you're nothing but 10-story buildings around you. And you're like, well, today is...

High on that list of days. I'm like, that's a lot of windows. We had a guy, they dropped a grenade and it fell right behind him on the turret and he couldn't get it to throw it out and dead. And so then after that, it was all trial and shit. Like, I don't even know who came up with the idea, but I know we tried it at our post and we were dropping bricks on top of these Hesco baskets. And then when they were bouncing off,

Today we are brought to you by Manscaped.com

Who has taken a step from the Balaweeners to bring your face the cleanest shave it has ever seen, brother. So this season there's no toil or trouble. It's just manscaped. Manscaped's all new handyman is the best way to get rid of that stubble. Featuring compact design and skin safe technology. It was designed to give you a smooth finish without traditional technology.

disadvantages. Get the sweetest treat this season by going to manscaped.com and using code unsub to save 20% and free shipping. And for my wolf man out there, there's the Manscaped Beard Hedger Pro Kit. It has everything to tame your mane.

That's 20% off and free shipping at manscaped.com using code UNSUB for a look sweet as candy. Get yourself a handyman from manscaped.com. And then...

Fucking IDs under the thing. Then they put the V-mount system underneath. Do you know who apparently invented those? Huh? Do you know who apparently invented those? Uh-uh. Frank from Premier Body Armor. Frank's the one that did the V-mount? The whole? Yeah. Oh, that's why. Yep. Frank's doing good. He's doing real good. You know who invented the ID? The fucking Irish man. Yep.

So when Jack was in, you didn't even have up-armored Humvees yet, right, on your first deployment? I was on LAVs, which they were already a thinly armored vehicle. But no, yeah, I was there for the invasion, so everything was extremely basic. This is how fucked up the Marine Corps was in the invasion of Iraq. Wait, were you with Rudy Reyes? Yes.

Yes, actually. Oh, damn it. I was in a firefight with him. Yeah, yeah. Are you shooting at me? Are you shooting at you? Yeah, we've met. I don't know him. I love Rudy. He's a good guy. Yeah, I was that recon platoon that they did the series on. We actually were attached to them. They actually covered it in the miniseries. Oh, okay. Which one would that be? I was in a...

Oh, Generation Kill. Yeah, no, I was in... You just like, just so casually, yeah, they followed us in that one thing. Well, I mean, I was in first LAR, but we linked up with him and got into a couple fights with him, I believe, so yeah. With Rudy? With his platoon, yeah. You fought them?

We were fighting Iraqis. Alongside. Rudy Ray has platoon. We're fighting for cancer. Wait a minute, hold on. This is how fucked up the Marine Corps was back then. I was the first boot camp class to ever get issued the Marpat, the modern camo.

but like they still were giving dudes the tricolors and they were so fucking low on supplies that they had to give some guys like the old chocolate chip candies from Desert Storm. And like I had a fucking... That chocolate chip fucks. You imagine those Iraqis seeing that, oh shit. Yeah.

I had a flak jacket that wouldn't even fucking Velcro. So the only thing that held it together was my, my low bearing vest, which is literally, that's what it was used as. Like I, I only had one plate. I only had plates for my front, no plates for my back. So Brandon, it is crazy when you watch Maurice, even in 2000, when we deployed, like during the surge,

We'd show up. We had M4s. We had all that. The Marines were still rocking A4, like M16A2s, A4s. From fucking Vietnam. Oh, yeah. And you're like, oh, my God, you're deploying to me? I had a buddy who got deployed. I had a buddy who got deployed in like, it was later. It was like 2012, I think. Still got deployed with an old school A2. Oh, shit. Yeah. Iron sights. Fuck yeah, man. I got to Iraq because I was a Bradley gunner, so I had a fucking SBR. It was like...

Fucking cool. With ACOG and then you look at the Marines and you're like, did they just get out of boot camp or something? Who the fuck are these guys? You know what I can't stand though about Marine veterans on the internet is when they're like, they don't even train with iron sights anymore. I'm like, oh, you mean they're more lethal now? They're like better killers? Does that bother you? Everybody knows the story of the whole thing when they first issued Marines ACOGs.

Yeah, I was there for that. Because they thought they literally got investigated for war crimes because they thought they were executing people because it was all headshots. Church's original recipe is back. You can never go wrong with original.

Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or 10 pieces starting at only $10.99. Church's. Offer valid at participating locations. Oh, no shit. Yeah, they were like, their ratio of headshots went up dramatically. They thought that they were executing people. And they're like, no, they just, you gave them fucking modern optics and now they're fucking.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, look at that. They're proficient. It's kind of like one of those internet stories. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. I hate irons, love learning on them originally. And then once you start getting an M 68, a Cox, anything like that, you're like,

Everybody should know how to use irons. Nobody should use irons. Yeah. Yes, 100%. When you first start shooting, yes, I agree. Shooting at those 300, you have to shoot like 50 to 300 yards for basic training for your qual. That 300 with irons, you're just like, what is that? I can't even see the fucking target. I passed 300. It's like...

I don't even remember us doing that, to be honest with you. We did that? Yeah. Fuck, I don't know. I've been out so long, I don't fucking know. Because when you joined in... I'm C9. I don't fucking know. What year did you do? 04. 04, yeah. You were one year before me. You were late 04? Yeah. Like May and 04, like June. Yeah. And then Jack was pre-9-11. No! I went to boot camp in 02. Oh, during. Oh, wait. It would just happen, right? I enlisted on August 11th, 2001. Wow. Because you're old as fuck, right? What are you, 47? Just turned 40, baby. Oh.

Congratulations. Thank you. I made it. I'm still here. We're proud of you. I didn't plan it this far, so I'm kind of trying to figure shit out right now. I did not expect this. Literally, I've been waiting on my phone to get the call. I was like, yeah. He finally did it. But when he hit 40, I was like, oh, fuck. He's going to be around for a while. Damn it. Jack's going to live to 90 in a year.

considering what he's done to 130, how can I believe in God at this point? All of us. Right. I actually, I was looking at, uh, photos cause I was trying to tell somebody like I was telling, telling them about you and I was looking for, for photos online. I didn't realize it cause we've only, we'd only really known each other for like four years or something like that. Yeah. Uh,

Your photos from the range 15 days where you clean up your hair or whatever, you were a sexy motherfucker. I had no idea. That's crazy, man. That was the first time I learned that you can be rotten looking as fuck, and as long as you have good game, chicks are going to be into it. Because I was walking around L.A. looking like a Civil War general for like three weeks. But I was like, that was the best game I ever had. General Alabaster. Oh, man.

Just did pickup shots. I think physically, as far as looks, I had a good 32. That was a sexy year for me. Isn't it sad? If you think about it, you're going to bury all of us, but no one's going to bury you. I'll be the last one to tell y'all stories for you.

I hope you live to be 130. I'd rather no one else tell them. Yeah. Yeah. Jack's going to shit on us. I've been interviewing a lot of World War II veterans lately. And, you know, it's like they're the last ones of their unit, right? And you kind of realize, like, you see it in them that they realize, like, it's on them to correctly tell the story. But also sometimes I think, like,

How do you know? How do I not? How do I know if I'm not talking to the biggest shit bag in the unit right now? You know what I mean? Because you guys are not all the World War Two vets were spectacular humans. There were all perfect soldiers. There's always every platoon in every war in history has a fucking turd in it. We all know our shit bags. Think about the shit bag in your platoon and think about what he would say if he's the only one that gets to speak for everybody.

Oh, my God. You think about how the stories would be. And that's when I saved my entire... They put me in for a Medal of Honor. I turned it down. Yeah. Yeah. I was too busy saving more of my men. They put me in three times. It's no big deal. Instead of... Yeah, thank God. They wanted to promote me to lieutenant, but I said, no, sir, send me to the brig. And that's how I ended up in the brig.

That's a chesty puller reference, isn't it? That's how I ended up with the red horse. Yeah. Oh, God. My favorite unit out of all the military units. Because wasn't it the whole, like, you send me to the brig, that's where I'll find the real Marines? Yeah, yeah, that's an old chesty quote. Oh, was it? No wonder I didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. Yeah. I'm not surprised. It's like the one Nick did. Who is the crazy soldier? There's been a few. Why are you bleeding?

Oh, what the hell? Was that a tattoo? That's blood. Now you're like... Demonetized for gore. I'm like, no, data. It's data. And we'll do a... No, um... Why are you dating? God, who was the guy that... Why are you dating all over the table? The Filthy Five.

McNasty? Yeah, McNasty. It's like that guy was just true. They just gave him the worst of the worst, and he turned them into inglorious bastards. Yeah, we're talking to Jack here, and he might be that guy from fucking Saving Private Ryan that lets the fucking Germans go by. Oh, the guy that...

I was like 12 when that came out and I just remember violently screaming at the... Kill him! You motherfucker! I'm getting pissed now. You imagine being related to that fucking guy and you watch that shit all the time and you're like, fuck man. Imagine that's your dad's or your grandfather. Yeah, exactly.

People don't want to admit it, but statistically speaking, a lot of people, their little war hero grandfather could have been an op-em.

Grandpa ain't telling you that story. Oh my God. Do you want the best sleep, you know? Well, I can tell you the greatest bed and mattress product in the world. It is from GhostBed.com. Today we are talking about the great deals at GhostBed.com. And one of the best parts of the GhostBed is the cooling technology. Señor, I know what you're thinking.

Por que, si? Cause if you're like me and you're in Texas, the nicer hot and you need the cooling technology, si? That's right. Right now, if you use unsubscribe at ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe, you get 50% off everything. Everyone loves discount to that value. Go buy the best bed you can with ghostbed.com. Uh,

Actually, on a serious note, all of us use GhostBed. Now, it is all the rooms here at Unzipped, my bedroom, the pillows, the sheets, everything is GhostBed. You spend 30% of your life in a bed. Upgrade your stuff and save 50% while doing it. Code Unsubscribe. Go 50%.

You're never like one time I let a German walk by me after he stabbed my friend in the neck. Everybody assumes that when grandpa doesn't want to talk about the war, it's because he did gnarly shit. It's because he was a piece of shit. It's because he was a piece of shit. He ate the last hot meal and he ate twice, that son of a bitch. Yeah, if grandpa's look was like this, he's like, I don't want to talk about it.

That's not a thousand yards there. I fucked up in that war period. I remembered. Fuck, I fucked up. I can't go to the reunions. Oh, is it too hard to see your old comrades? No, they don't invite me at all. That was like my great-grandfather was in the Pacific in World War II as a combat dozer, like combat engineer. And he did Pacific, then Korea, then Vietnam. That's what Red Horse does. They're like combat engineers. Just want to let you know. He did all of them? Oh, yeah.

He was an advisor in Vietnam. Oh, okay. I was like, he has two stars? Spooky shit. But he... Well, no, he's an engineer. He doesn't... Oh, yeah, never mind. Yeah, I always forget. I don't know what he did in... Well, I don't know what he did in Korea. I know he's like a spook advisor in Vietnam, but... Yeah, you know, he's talking about infantry. Like...

I forgot that. Yeah, you get a reef. I'll let you finish. You get a reef if you do combat. You get a reef with a star if you've done a war. Two different campaigns. Yeah, two different campaigns. I'm giving this water bottle the Purple Heart because I just killed it, man. I don't think that's what it's for. We're now just downplaying the Purple Heart to this. Jesus Christ. Hey, at ease. Attention orders. On this day...

Oh, hey, everybody knows Clint here, right? Yeah. Clint's a party animal. Clint doesn't give a, he's a great guy. And like, he's just like, ask, ask Angry Cops. Do we use his real name on this? Yeah, Rich. Oh, yeah. Ask Rich about the time he was drunk walking around St. Petersburg, Florida with Clint's Medal of Honor around his neck.

I love my friend group so much. Rich was wearing it. Angry Cousins walking with it. They were both had a few drinks and Clint's here. Have it and put it on him. And he's just walking around downtown St. Petersburg huffing cigarettes, Medal of Honor around his neck. Clint's walking behind him. Fucker can steal that. I love our friend group. Everyone's just like, whatever. Yeah.

Leroy Petrie and I went back to Afghanistan and talked to the troops in 2013. And we were flying in a private plane from one part of Afghanistan to the other. So a private plane sounds really cool until you mention the Afghanistan part. And he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And he gets up and his Melamon breaks. And he's like, fuck. And I'm like, oh, that sucks. You can't just go to the PX for that. Yeah, yeah. He goes, here, hold this. I'm going to go pee. And I was like...

You should have put it around your neck. No. I waited like this for him the whole time. I'm like, is he back? What do I do with this? You just didn't move? No, I was like this the whole time. I was like, here. Don't breathe. I didn't breathe on it. And then he's like, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know what to do with this. I can't imagine putting it on. Fuck that. That's a particularly heavy metal. I don't care how fucking drunk I am. Fuck you, Rich. 90% of the audience that... Wait, 90% of the...

90% are dead post humorously awarded. Yeah. I think it's like... Post-humorously. Post-humorously or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I don't know how to say it. Not humor... Humorously. It was fucking funny. No. How do you say it? Post-humorously. Funny story. My buddy jumped on a grenade. Jesus Christ, now I don't know how to fucking say it. Google. Postumously. Postumously. Thank you so much. Jesus Christ. It's funny how different... Hey guys, I'm going to admit there's some fucking kind of... I'm kidding. I don't want to do this. I just...

I'm kind of retarded. So another Medal of Honor story is Clint was supposed to come to this function down in San Antonio where Bush was speaking. Who's Bush? The former president, the one that's responsible for all of our war stories. Say his name, President Bush. Jorge Bush. Jorge W. Bush. Yeah.

So he was going to be a special guest and all that, but last minute thing, he couldn't make it. He's like, do you just want to go instead of me in my spot and sit at the table? I'm like, yeah, cool. But what I did is, and I couldn't get it done on time, actually, so I have it, but

But I got, since the Medal of Honor guy couldn't make it, I got a National Defense Medal made that I could wear around my neck. Oh, my God. Yeah, but it showed up like the day after the event. But I have this National Defense Medal that I wear around my neck. That's awesome. Everyone out there that's like...

Those are sacred. A lot of us just make it. Fuck you. If you're that uptight, fuck you. We're going to give Brandon one soon. He's just going to walk around with a medal of honor. It reminds me of that story I said about how my backpack, like that multi-cam backpack or whatever I was telling them. The only patch I've got on it, because it's got a little patch there, it's just like a ranger tab, but it says special needs. Oh, yeah.

And then he got stopped. Oh, well, so I'll tell the story again. I'm sorry. I'll make it brief. I get stopped in an airport. Some like really nice lady like tapped me on the shoulder as we're waiting in line to board the plane. Excuse me, sir. I just wanted to ask you what your patch means. Oh, sorry, ma'am. That's just a second. It's an Internet joke. I'm just, you know, kind of self-deprecating humor. Just, you know, it's a joke patch. She looks so defeated. She's like, oh, well, my.

My son has special needs, and he really wants to join the military. I didn't know if that was a special division or something like that. Oh, shit. And I'm just like, oh, I feel about that tall. And then fucking A.J. Wilkerson's like, and you didn't tell her about the Marine Corps? Dude, A.J. had the best... Dude, A.J. came in with the best... You didn't say the Red Horse?

Oh, sure. The idea I drew up metal of Jack. This looks like a Jack. Oh, I saw that. Yeah. I think you put that in the group chat at one point. You know, I text with Clint every morning. Oh, I didn't know that. So Clint, Clint Romashay and I have this, this, this, um, agreement, gentleman's agreement. We used to, you're married for tax reasons. Yeah. Right. We used to pheasant hunt together in South Dakota for like fucking five years in a row. Um, anyway, so we were, we were in the lodge and,

And I remember pulling my phone because where we were at was fucking freezing. And I'm like, I wonder what the weather is like back at home in Texas. And I look at it and it was like, I don't know, like 90 or something, maybe 100. And where we were at was fucking zero. And he's like, bro, you know what we got to do? I was like, what? He's like, we're going to fucking text each other every day.

And if the weather's ever like this, 100 degrees difference, we're taking our shot first thing in the fucking morning. And I was like, yeah. So every morning, I don't know, on my phone, we fucking screenshot the weather and we send it to each other. We're like, oh, man, we got close. Right there. Let's send a picture to Clint live on air. Yeah. Oh, no, it's my fault, guys.

That's what I can do right there. I thought it was good. It'll work. He's in North Dakota. Oh, yeah, well... We don't know. That happens a lot more often than you think. There's been times where we got in close and I'm like, bro, I don't drink anymore. Like, fuck. I'm like...

I don't know if I want to take a shot at that. That guy can throw him back. They got Scott Eastwood to play him, which was very kind to him. Scott Eastwood, one of the most handsome men you will ever see. We all have plans in life. Maybe to take a cross-country road trip or simply get through this workout without any back pain.

Whether our plans are big, small, spontaneous, or years in the making, good health helps us accomplish them. At Banner Health, we're here to provide more than health care. Whatever you're planning, wherever you're going, we're here to help you get there. Banner Health. Exhale. But he's played by Scott Eastwood. And, you know, Clint's not an ugly man, but not Scott Eastwood level. They were very kind to him. Not too many humans are that level. Okay.

Hi, boys. But, dude, Clint can frickin' party, dude. He's a function alcoholic. That's the state of North Dakota right there. You're catching strays over here. Yeah. Brandon just goes into the bushes. I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't drink that much. I Homer Simpson back into the liquor cabinet. Yeah, the booze goes around you. It's like, oh. Jack, you have a story to tell today. Who?

Ooh, yeah. You said it was a Veterans Day episode, so I thought this would be a fun little fun fact story. Yeah. There was a period in American history where we had an entity called the Bonus Army. Yeah, dude. He texted me. He was like, do you know about the Bonus Army? I was like, what? I'm so lost right now. It's a really cool story. So just to predate it...

- Veterans have always perplexed and been at odds with politicians since the days of the Roman legions. This is nothing new, veterans being headaches to the establishment.

After the revolution, that's when they created the first pension programs for American veterans. And based on what rank you are, you got a certain amount of acreage for your service. And they never really updated it. Acreage? Yeah. Enlisted dudes were like given 40 acres. Fuck! If you were an officer, you got like 1,200 acres. And what's the equivalent of like $20 million today? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so a lot of Revolutionary War officers, they went into Tennessee and they just fucking got land. Me and Chris, we got free parking lots. I get up front parking at Lowe's. You get premier parking at DJ's. Same thing, 128 acres. I get to park for free at the fucking airport.

Well, that shit's expensive, so you earned that. But go on. That's why I really lobbied for my getting shot in the armory in San Diego, Purple Heart. I just want that free parking. Isn't it a Red Heart when it's the non-combat one?

They don't give you anything. They lose your medical records, which is what happened to me. Did they really? Yeah. There's no proof of me ever being shot other than eyewitnesses. Did they lose it, or did whoever was in charge lose it? It got lost on the way to Iraq. Military, government paperwork, so good. World War I, and people forget. You had a chance for stolen ballot, bro. You could have fucking reopened that wound in Iraq and be like, I got shot. I got shot. Oh, yeah. Got him.

God, I missed Stolen Valor opportunities. - Yeah, dude. - Jack's just entire career is-- - Why weren't we friends? I could have helped you out. - I wasn't really thinking Stolen Valor when I was active duty. It's not something that manifested until I'd been years out of the military.

And it's just fun. I love it. You had late-term Stolen Valor. It's a medical disease. Delayed onset. Yeah. Stolen Valorism. He was in the delay entry program. D-O-S-T. Yeah. Or D-O-S-B. Sorry. Sorry. No, it's okay. So World War I, people forget the American...

entrance into World War I, we were really only there for a year. And even that year was like fucking nuts. All we did was basically just tip the scales to where it was unconditional surrender. Yeah. And so a lot of Americans...

got brought into service real fast and then exited out of service real fast. But they were promised certain bonuses and benefits for having done that. And they were supposed to be paid out over time. But basically what happened is the Great Depression happens. So now there's a financial mess going on. - Oh, I remember this story. - Yeah, and so around 1932,

They were like, fuck this. We want what's promised to us. So like 20,000 of them converge on Washington, D.C., and basically...

for lack of a better term, squatted, but they set up like... On like the Capitol lawn. On the lawn in D.C. They set up like... Like they brought their wives and everybody. Like they set up an entire fucking community in D.C., within D.C. And they just started... Dude, there was somebody else tried to do it again recently. They were trying to push for this exact same thing. Yeah, and they were like lobbying every day, marching around D.C. every day.

you know, protesting every day. And it got to the point like the Marine Corps always loves to bring up dudes like Smedley Butler. - Holy shit. - Smedley Butler, Smedley Butler, Smedley Butler, you know, two-time Medal of Honor recipient. But people forget Smedley Butler, when he left the Marine Corps, became vehemently anti-war, pro-veteran, outspoken critic of American foreign policy and trying to take care of American veterans.

So, Smedley Butler was in their ranks. He was a two-time Medal of Honor recipient. But what do you even do against a man that has two? Like, you suck his dick. Apparently called the Capitol Police. Well, so what happened was they sent the cops in there to disperse them, and two veterans got killed. They beat the shit out of like 100 cops. It makes like the fucking BLM shit that happened a couple years ago and the January 6th stuff, like, it makes it look like fucking child's play.

It was a fucking, it was insane around there. And so now that the police chief of DC was like, all right, I'm just going to contact the army. And,

At that time, the chief of staff in the United States Army was Douglas MacArthur and had his underling with him, Dwight Eisenhower. Eisenhower didn't want to do it. Eisenhower was like, this is a bad idea. We shouldn't get involved with this. This is a police matter. Douglas MacArthur is a fucking gigantic piece of shit. And if you see a Douglas MacArthur statue, fucking deface it, graffiti it. He's a fucking moron. Punch his great-great son in the face. Isn't that also... Hold on, baby.

Isn't that also literally against habeas corpus in the Constitution? There's a lot of fucking constitutional issues with that. The U.S. military is not allowed to be, basically, long story short, constitutionally, the U.S. military is not allowed to be used against its own civilians. Especially in D.C. Yeah. I mean, hell, there was some constitutional issues with the Civil War for that exact reason. That's why Abraham Lincoln suspended it, because he was such a great guy. But they didn't even bother to suspend it there, I don't think. They just fucking went in.

Yeah. And so they tear gas, the motherfuckers, a baby died. They and they just beat the shit out of these veterans, chased them out of D.C. They brought in 500 infantry soldiers, 500 cavalry soldiers and a fucking tank unit companion commanded by George Patton, which one of the leaders of the bonus army, one of the big faces of the bonus army, small world shit.

literally, literally saved Patton's life in World War I, too. What's the second in the Distinguished Crosses? Just below the Medal of Honor. For saving Patton's life in World War I, Patton acknowledged that this guy saved his life. This guy personally appealed to Patton not to fucking involve himself, and Patton did the whole, you know, he was a, no, Patton fucking went with it anyways. Kind of fucked over his old war buddy, basically. Guy who saved his life.

It was like a disaster. And it was like the reason why, arguably, it was a big reason why Hoover lost his reelection to FDR. It was a bad look. But there were good things that came out of it. Basically, that turned the tide. They finally were like, okay, we're going to give you your benefits. We don't want to have this happen again. Plus, it's what created the fucking Montgomery GI Bill, pretty much.

Which is, in my opinion, one of the top three greatest pieces of legislation in the history of the United States. Oh, yeah. Fully agree on that one. I totally agree.

I did not know any of that. So that's where the GI, I still would have taken 40 acres. They don't specifically teach you guys that bit of history. Right. Yeah. Do you want 40 acres or pay for your college? I'll do the 40 acres, please. Look what happened in Rome when their soldiers weren't getting paid. They were like, we're just going to create our own war. Yeah. Called a rebellion. You made us real good at this one thing. We're going to show you how good we are at this thing. Yeah.

I'm, oh my God, I'm more surprised. This is starting to feel like a rally, guys. Welcome to unsubscribed.

so you have cut also welcome to the watch list or the different one i guess i'm still more impressed because imagine us going in and like hey you have to rally these individuals by the way one of them has two medal of honors i'd be like bros i know i'm not rallying any of they're probably right i'm assuming if one of these dudes leading this has two medal of honors

How many two-minute-long statements has there been? Well, and that's also a First Amendment issue, too. In the Marine Corps, there have been two. It's a right to protest. One in the Pacific.

Oh, yeah. That's a good one. That's literally a right to peaceably assemble and protest. Yeah. And there's a lot more to that story. I gave a real brief synopsis. But, you know, they were nonviolent. And what happened, too, is... There's babies there, I assume. Basically, when the Army crossed the fucking bridge into D.C., the veterans at first thought that they were coming to, like... Help them. Support them, yeah. And so, at first, all the guys were cheering when they saw the Army come over. Because, like, oh, fuck, yeah, they're on our side. And then...

started fucking throwing gas at him and shit. Take note of this. Literally take note of this. No one has your back. There's a picture of MacArthur and Eisenhower. Eisenhower was a major at the time. MacArthur was like a... I'm going to go vandalize that Eisenhower fucking street sign. Dwight Eisenhower, to his credit...

Within the confines of following orders, he made his opinion on that engagement very vocal before going into it. That's the bullshit. Patton also had his redemption arc later a bit in that way as far as his disillusion with the military industrial complex. Yeah. And then he died? Coincidence? Very strange. That whole thing about we were fighting the wrong enemy.

- It's like, yeah, the communists are gonna be, that's the big, why are we siding with these people? This is gonna be the next war. - That's what a lot of people don't understand, is that war changes you. And I probably speak for a majority of this table, especially Brandon. - For all of us, yeah. - War sounds cool. - Three quarters of it. - War sounds cool until you do war, and then you're like, ah, this is not as much fun. - You start asking questions a lot more. - I'll put a caveat on that too. War sounds cool until you study it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without a doubt. You get shot at, you get that, and then you watch like Buddy's, whatever it happens. It is like, it is a reality check of like, oh man, I am fragile as fuck. This is something, having the mindset, it's like your life can end or your buddy's life can end in the flash of a second. And you live like that for months at a time, and then you just have to shut it off. Yeah. It doesn't happen. There's no, it's. Well, not only that, your fucking adrenaline is here, and then it goes.

And then he...

And then you fucking don't that sounds like a Friday night out bro. I'll never forget my first firefight I that was the best sleep. I ever fucking got yeah, I think you're crashed. Yeah, you smoked a cigarette Dude every time a firefight like give me a

Yeah, I've not. I smoke that crazy, too. But you do that, and then you get home, and you're like, I wonder why I'm depressed. Oh, because your testosterone's fucking tan, motherfucker. That blew my mind when you said that the VA doesn't even begin to cover TRT. No. So this is how they get away with it. They have a program, and they're like, hey, your testosterone's at 35. Here's some testosterone. Which, for those who don't know, like testosterone. 300 is a low mark. That is insane. Like, that is, you are a woman. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like starting a sad lawnmower. Yes. Your PP does not. More than 35 when they're born.

Yeah, like women need more than that. And then they give you testosterone and they're like, here, take this dosage every two weeks. And it's like, well, that's not how this fucking works. Like if you're going to start somebody on TRT, it's once a week at a dosage. At the bare minimum. At the bare minimum. And even then you're going to have peaks and valleys. Ideally, you want to be like once every three, four days. Exactly. And so then they only give you one vital. And they're like, here, when you're done with it, let us know. And then you let them know that you used it too fast.

You're going to have to wait another two weeks. You're like, what in the fuck? So you're doing this to your fucking body. Which that's worse. It is. And then it starts fucking with your psyche. It starts fucking with everything else. Shit starts to shut down. Like, it is insane. And it's fucking ridiculous that...

It's so hard to get on a testosterone regimen, TRT, through the VA. To piggyback off that military term, it is... Fuck you, VA. You have this mindset of, from a psychological standpoint, when you do combat, when your stress levels are up and down all the time, it's conditioned into...

Hypervigilance. Hypervigilance is what the problem is with a lot of veterans. You can't turn that off. Once your body adapts to that, this is...

from my doctor my psychologist was like oh yeah that is your body once it is programmed that is flight or fight that is in you and ingrained in you for indefinitely indefinitely over stimuli yeah yeah so you're always that's why you have the thousand yards sorry that's why you're checking your locks that's why each one of these things happen from it and you have to realize that and then you have to build a tool belt in order to manage it otherwise you're just like why am i depressed you're not gonna get rid of it you need to manage it have you ever seen the uh

after world war one those shell shock videos yeah that of those guys they just prop them against the wall and just violently yeah yeah i saw that shit was scary because your brain that's where like the the solution of that was you get slapped and told to get over yeah yeah oh good patent reference right there yeah but that's exactly it like you gotta manage it you gotta find you gotta find the things that help you like for me like

It's hunting the outdoors. It's fucking going to the range. I recently fell in love with fucking scuba diving again because I went down to Honduras with my buddy Nick and runs Warfighter Scuba. We went down there for a whole week. Had a fucking blast. I was under the water.

weightless didn't have my prosthetic on and i was like holy shit i can do things and i'm like oh you know like the exact opposite of you getting burnt pretty much it is the contrast you're like this is the worst day of my life this is the best day fire water airbender and then 20 minutes later i'm pointing up like i gotta go up and they're like why i was like i'm

I was too excited. I just started doing Stolen Valor, man. That shit gets me off. Manage it. Find your fucking thing that's for you and then use that to not only cope but...

Manage what you're going through In a healthy way In a healthy way Not to cut you off but when you're talking about a tool belt What is I guess What are some of the management tactics I just said it bitch That's really good I was trying to give Eli a platform To talk about his because he doesn't scuba Yeah I'm not a scuba We're trying to get him to do it but he's been a bitch To water Here you might need this Thank you

He's afraid of the water. I don't know why. No, everyone's going to have their different issues. And when you get back, you're not going to, you, your buddies, everyone's going to approach it in a different manner and how you react in different ways. You might get really unstable and nervous from the slightest pop or sound. Or you could just be looking outside and be like, why is that car there? And when we got back, a lot of people, it's like not having your gun on.

on your side, really fucking weird. - It's a Pavlovian thing where you're just trained to have your hands on that weapon. - We're there for a minute, a lot of veterans were getting pulled over because they see a bag on the road and they go out of their way to swerve and people are getting pulled over left and right. I remember that being a fucking thing. - Yeah, dude, when you get back, you're like, ah, trash on the side of the road, holy shit. - You pucker it up, like fuck, here we go. - And again, if it wasn't for the fucking Irish, we wouldn't be having those issues. - Bastards.

We're looking at you. Or the Soviets for leaving so much fucking munitions behind. But with it, it is talking to it. Those stingers that we sent really paid off. All the best missile systems we gave them.

Rocky, well, not Rocky III. Rainbow III. This movie is dedicated to the brave fighters of the Mujahideen. We basically funded Saddam's invasion of Kuwait, and then we put an end to it. But we gave him money all throughout the 80s. Oh, yeah. We gave a lot of people money. Are we talking about Tim Osman yet? Oh, no. Yeah.

Who's that? Do you know that? Well, we'll caveat and then go on to that because I don't know that. It is like for everyone out there, just if you have those issues, you have two benefits from it. You go talk to a therapist, get help with that. And then also look, as Brandon was saying, it's like the tool belt or the question he was asking, that belt is going to help not only you, but your buddies going through those same experiences. It's like, it's

It's like, hey, Eli, you had your nightmares. You were dealing with this. This is how you reacted to PTSD. Was it anger? Was it this? It's like mine wasn't that. But here is what I battled with each night or each day or once a week. Try these methods and see if they help you, buddy. And then it can or they'd be like, well, that didn't help. OK, hey, I have another friend that's more similar to your experiences. And then you start building a healthy community around you.

Exactly. And then now it's like a licensed professional is helping with those tools. Your buddies are helping with those tools. Now you have a community, which at the end of the day is what soldiers. Yeah. Yeah. Veterans. That's that's one of the main things. It's like I lost my mission. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't have a community point. Like at the beginning of the war, like when we were all kind of getting out and shit and not not this is not shitting on everybody else. But I think we all had the.

Let's go fucking drinking. Let's go get drunk. And that's being young. Yeah. And in a permissive culture. Yeah, we're going to drink. We're going to live forever type deal shit. And that can exacerbate a lot. Yeah, that too. Imagine a depressant making it worse. And then you get into your 30s and you realize like, well, fuck, dude. Being drunk all the time is no good for anybody. I'm a fucking asshole. People don't like me.

But I'm still stuck in this fucking bro. Don't be an alcoholic because of the war. Be an alcoholic because of your genetics. All right. Exactly. Well, I mean, to be to be real, too, like if you're talking about like overconsumption of alcohol on top of depression already, you're fucking with your gut health, which is fucking with your serotonin, which is making you more depressed. And then you can't fucking sleep. Yeah. Don't fuck. You can't sleep. You can't be happy. Like it's a bad way to cope with things. So find that cocaine. Yeah.

Exactly. Try something responsible. Cut to Jack. Well, don't do it right now because it's got fentanyl in it. Oh, no, never mind. Did you guys see the signs in Mexico? No. The drug cartel fucking...

started a war against those who are still putting fentanyl in cocaine. Good! Well, because it's cutting down on the fucking profit margin for them. Seriously, yeah. The free market will provide. People stopped using fucking cocaine and they're like, why? You're fucking killing them with fentanyl. Why do you think? And so they put out a fucking hit.

any other cartel using fentanyl in their fucking cocaine to mix it is going to get wiped the fuck out. I just imagine this. It's like, why are you killing? Okay. First off, he made the drug that was killing my clients. I ain't about that shit. Okay. I'm like, green stop sign. It's like, good.

Thank you. Thank you. Sponsored by Cartel. All of them. No, no, no. No, no, no. We'll be right back. They're running time ship over there.

Oh, Jesus. Look back to it. Get involved with the healthy community. Whatever your fucking thing is, whether it be shooting the outdoors, archery, scuba diving, running, fucking...

I don't know, building fucking Legos, whatever your thing is. - Finding God's most beautiful creatures and killing them. - Yeah. - And to add on to that, do not be that guy when you get out of the military, that grumpy fucking veteran on the internet complaining about how things were different in your time and all that bullshit.

Don't be that guy. You know which one's my favorite? When you see these guys with a fucking hat that says, Medicated vet, stay away. Just you. I've never seen that. Someone needs to slip them some fentanyl, man. Oh, God. Welcome to the community, bitch.

Brandon's like, oh, God, the Veterans Day episode. Why am I on this one? I expected a good bit of this. You called me last night. You're like, hey, we need to do a Veterans Day episode. Whenever the Department of Defense makes some sort of major change, which, by the way, major changes have been happening since the beginning of the military. Major change? Yeah.

But whenever they make some sort of change or something like that and you just see all the comments section, this shit didn't fly when I was in. I'm like, well, you were in 20 fucking years ago. You don't matter anymore. You're not part of the machine and it's moved on without you. You are irrelevant. I'm not sure it's moved on in a good direction. No, no, no. Did you see the one that... It absolutely has. The young people I see on these USO shows are the same people that we were 20 years ago. The same children that we're sending off to war.

But no, they're just as-- - Thank you, Lockheed. - They're smarter now than we were. - You think so? - Yeah, absolutely. - No, that's actually a good point. Jack, what do you feel on like, have you seen, so the 2013 is the last time you did a USO tournament. - No, I did one in 2021. - 2021? - 2020, 2021, yeah. - So how was the veteran, or not the veteran, the infantry community? - Was it all infantry?

I've done those shows, yeah. How was the change on that? I'm just asking, like, because if you're, like, you'll also have a different crop here. You noticed the difference. You're, like, 11 Bravo versus, like, Patriot Missile guys. No, yeah. No, you absolutely noticed the difference in, like, unit culture and all that. But I did infantry shows. I was doing a show in Maron, Spain. And, like, two days before we got there, one of them, it was an infantry battalion of Marines there.

And one of the Marines fucking got drunk and totaled the vehicle. And so they not just... That's infantry still, so we're good. They mass punished them. And so these guys aren't allowed to drink. And they're restricted to base. And we're like the first non-military Americans they've probably seen in six months. So we show up. Want to put on a good show for the troops. But they're just being dickhead Marines, right? Yeah.

And I've done shows for every branch, almost every type of MOS, but I knew these were 03s, and they were just heckling and just being shitty. I'm up there, I'm like, fucking... I'm like, I...

These are officers? No, they were just... Oh, I thought you said O3s. Yeah, infantry. Oh, okay, okay, okay. That makes way more sense. I was like, officers are heckling me? I spent my Thanksgiving getting talked to by a bunch of little 20-year-old little baby killers here. And anyways, I half jokingly said this, but half it came out out of frustration while they're out there fucking heckling me.

Under my breath, but in the microphone, I go, there's got to be another war you guys can die in or something. And then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, they're like, yeah! Turn the tide of the show. They loved me after that. And you're like, Jack's material? Okay, turn in the page to this book. I know this playbook now. Raise your hand if you've been in war. None of you. You all suck, bitches. Oh!

God, this is so predictable. You just gotta be mean to them. It's like the Bill Burr thing where each other did that really hostile show and just started like, fuck you,

Fuck you, I'm not done yet. I got six more minutes anyway. - Yeah, and then he goes and just, dude, bill burst. - Oh shit. - Comedy gold. - That's hilarious. - So you were talking about, who were you talking about earlier? - Oh God, no, I was making a joke about like the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the Stinger missiles and everything. But Tim Osman, neither of you are familiar with that term? - No. - Or that name? - No. - That was the name of the CIA, well, that was the CIA's code name for an operative that we had in Afghanistan.

By the actual name of Osama bin Laden. I love the milk. Let's just say it. We funded 9-11. And that way it was an inside job. Roll the clip. We didn't have nothing to do with a lot of that stuff over there. It was we funded a lot of people and gave a lot of training to a lot of people that...

You know, the U.S. military, or not even the military, but the United States federal government has a really long history of just giving money and training and support to entities overseas that are going to turn later, about 10, 20, 30 years later. We should make them sign a no-compete clause, man. We should just send more to Ukraine. 20 years from now, imagine fucking Ukraine attacking the U.S. They're not going to do that. That's what we thought about Afghanistan.

Afghanistan didn't attack the U.S. Al Qaeda attacked the U.S. Well, same shit. Operating in Afghanistan. Hey, we want to be here having this conversation. If it wasn't for the beautiful, strong people that made that happen.

This podcast is dedicated to the brave fighters of the movement. You just, you can't see where the geopolitical tides are going to turn all the time. And you're just spending hundreds of billions of dollars overseas on stuff that is not tracked and is really just, it's right with fraud. And it pisses me off that we're sending so much money to another fucking country when

Go downtown San Antonio. You're going to find 30 fucking vets out on the street. Can I piss you off a little more? Go ahead, bro. I'll piss you off a little more. Some of the funding that they're now asking for, that we're now giving them, is for providing for the future veterans of the Ukraine war. Yeah.

Wait, is that a real thing? That's a real thing. Are you fucking kidding me? Speaking of the homeless population in San Antonio, I got a little story for you. Jack's part of it. I got a story for you. So I lived downtown for five years, just moved out here to the country and lived my country life. In the peanut factory. In the peanut factory lofts. And I would walk to this gas station every day because of my cigarette addiction.

And I'd walk to this gas station. I'd walk under the I-10 bridge. At least you were being healthy. Yeah. You were walking to get cigarettes. I was walking to get my cigarettes. But there was this homeless guy that would sit underneath the bridge every single day. And he'd just be mumbling to himself. And he looked like shit, just mumbling to himself. And every day I was like, don't make eye contact. He's going to say crazy homeless guy shit to you. But one day I'm walking by and there's a truck pulled underneath the bridge.

and a nice truck and a guy in a suit gets out and he's giving this random homeless guy money and I look at the guys closer, this guy's clearly his twin brother.

who basically goes out there to check in on his other brother to make sure he's okay. You told me this. Yeah, and I really watched this heartfelt thing happen where even though he couldn't stop his brother from being on the street, he still checks in on them. And the next day I'm walking by and I make eye contact with a homeless guy for the first time because I see the humanity in him and he stares at me and called me the N-word. Wait, did he? Yeah.

That was a Hallmark moment until then. Jack's storytelling is the best. I was like, man, this is a beautiful story. Okay, never mind. This story is brought to you by the cartel. It's just like the little rainbow. Fentanyl.

I love being able to film it. In my head, I can visualize it all. Jack's like watching up. It's like day two or day 80. You're like walking out. You have your little suitcase and you look over and you see the brother interacting with the homeless guy and you're like, he is human. He is human. So then you walk off. Or you're just bringing him out like a Subway sandwich that day. You're like, you know what? Day 81. I'm going to hurt this guy. That's such a Jack thing though. Thank you. Oh. Oh.

That is such a Jack story because he sees the good in everybody. I try. I just picture that day 80 is that, watching the brother interaction. Day 81, you have it flash on day 81. Jack walks over. He looks at the homeless guy. Camera slowly starts. It locks. It locks onto the homeless guy. He just looks over at Jack. Light in his eyes. Jack's like nods. Camera punches into the homeless guy.

He's like, ah! And he's just like walking. Don't get my rest. Don't get my mom or her rest. Skit ends. It's like, oh, okay, yeah, that's why. I love how you imagine him holding a briefcase on his way to get fucking cigarettes. I picture business, Jack. Jack's always a businessman in my head. And then in the back of Jack's like, man, that guy's definitely a veteran.

Of the Klu Klux Klan. That guy's definitely a red horse. That's what Jack stole the identity from. That's from that guy. He's a method actor. I'm serious. My life honor would be to go speak at a red horse ball or function or some sort. Let's make this happen, people. People, you heard it here. I will pay your flight and go with you. Okay.

Okay, let's do it. I'm fucking in. You need to start your speech with, as a fellow comrade, I'm sure you remember. As a Red Horseman. Just badly Photoshop yourself into the photos. And Charlie Company, third platoon. Oh, I guarantee Jack has a platoon. What platoon were you part of with Red Horse?

- Well, we operate in squadrons in the Red Horse system. It is the Air Force. - Oh, it's the Air Force. I thought it was the Army. - Where'd you go to basic training at? - Right here in San Antonio, Texas. - Lackland? - Yeah. - Nice. - Yeah, that's where I did all good airmen do. And then of course I went to my A school, my Red Horse school later on. - Getting marginally uncomfortable. - I love that Jack has an entire-- - I was stationed with the 119th out of Nellis Air Force Base.

And yeah, did two deployments to Iraq. We built, you know, like the whole point of our unit. We built some runways and bridges and everything like that. We're engineers. And what was your most proud one? When I was in Afghanistan in 2011, I was a tech sergeant at that time. Dude, you'd have my money on the side of the road right now. I was a tech sergeant at that time. Yeah.

The Army had just pushed into this area that no one had really operated in yet. I guess they had some intel that there was some high-value targets there. But they needed to set up an air base there. We went in.

Can I tell my war story? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Go on. Sorry, sir. So as we did, we went in, uh, we established the airfield and we were able to start, uh, landing fixed and rotary ring aircraft there. And they were able to essentially build up a new base of operations in that region. Um,

As it turns out, the cheat code for stealing valor is actually having been in the military. And then you can steal all the valor. From the bottom of my heart, I just want to say thank you, sir. Thank you for your service. If it wasn't for you and the red horse men, I don't know where we'd be today. You know what I say we all do after this? What's that? We go to fucking Chili's and get that 10% discount on Veterans Day. Wait, no, it's free, isn't it?

Okay, I've never done it before. Is it free? It's a free meal. Oh, I'm definitely going to Chili's. Oh, Brandon probably. So wait, you might know this. A lot of veterans on Veterans Day will do the circuit. Let's do a video of Brandon fucking getting free meals. Oh my God. This is the best idea.

Oh my god, we take Brandon. I'm gonna text my video. What's Chili's gonna do, sue you? I'm not worried about Chili's. Brandon, we're starting in the morning. This is the unsub, we'll just go as veterans. It's the unsub train, we'll just vlog it. We go to... I'll just pay. No, you gotta save that for campaign mode. Let's get photoshops of him with a Medal of Honor around his neck. Yes!

Do the Purple Heart. The medal. Clint, can you mail it? I fucking hate you guys so much. Clint Romesha writes a letter to Brandon. It's like, I direct you to, like, I command you to wear this medal from a Medal of Honor recipient. My fucking consultant's like, you know, this podcast is going to end your political career. I'm like, no, no, it won't.

Brandon's like, no, no, no, no. We could do a vlog of it today at the Gambit. And then we'll pay for the meal at the end. You can pay for a meal for someone else. This is so bad, dude. This is so bad. Yeah, you can pay for... Oh, yeah, because we always... There you go. Pay it forward. Pay it forward. Yeah. Pay for both. How about that? No, just one. Fuck that, Brandon. You're an honorary bet to us. You're in now. No one in this...

Comment below if you think Brandon's earned this. And by the way, you dickheads listening to this, you veteran dickheads, specifically veterans, you veteran dickheads, just because you're getting a free meal doesn't exempt you from tipping your waiter or waitress properly. You still need to tip. You need to thank them for their customer service. Yeah, you bastards.

That's it. That's it. It's literally a day. So what people will do is like, it's this full campaign of like, let's eat as many meals as possible. I have seen that. Dude, it is the thing people will do. Really? Yeah. You guys are pieces of shit. They're like, I'll get, I'll wake up. I go to, I hop. And then I go to, I know where we're going. Yeah. And then I go, are we dropping boys? Are we dropping boys?

Chili's. Dude, every meal you can get like one free meal a day. Denny's, I think. Let's go, San Antonio. Applebee's. You just walk in there like this is the saddest VFW I've ever fucking been in. You're just taking everything to go, put it in the fridge, your meal prepping for the week. Oh my God. Let's do like a Jocko thing where we wrinkle bread.

We wake up at 04 on our watches. Time to carpe diem this day, but it's just us hitting up IHOP, Denny's, Chili's. We have just a meal prep for a week. We're waiting outside Chili's. Come on. I'm so glad this podcast is coming out after Veterans Day has started. No, it's going to come out of bed.

Oh, it does. Yeah, it does. But it'd be too late, you fuckers. They're like, this is a great idea. Everyone's driving. Look, we got to do this now. This is fucking great. There's going to be somebody pulling a U-turn in fucking highway traffic listening to this podcast. It shows me by the end of the day like a doctor's diagnosing me with type 2 diabetes. Who's picking me up? It just says good. Yeah.

So after Veterans Day, you're two type diabetes, Mr. Mandeville. Oh. And then Jocko pops over. He's like, good. Well, I have a question with diabetes. I'm not an expert on diabetes, but if you have type 1, which isn't your fault, and then somehow you develop type 2, do you have type 3 diabetes at that point? Are you adding them up?

Yeah, if you have both of them. I don't believe so. Okay. Good. I think you just die really quick. I mean, yeah. Well, you have a 50% lower chance of that happening. What's the biggest hero moment you guys have ever had? Not counting the war, okay? But like mine, I was dating a woman with type 1 diabetes, and she started going through the- This is a Jack story. Yeah.

This is a real story. I believe it. I believe you. I believe your stories. No, I was in D.C., and she started getting low on blood sugar, and she needed something to bring her back. And so I kick out of that hotel room at 3 in the morning, and I'm running down the street. I get to the Wawa. I grab all the candy bars and everything like that and run back to the hotel. You forgot to pay. No, I remembered to pay. But, like, in my head, literally, it was playing out in my head. Your moment is theft.

I can be your hero, baby. As I'm running slow-mo. And then a homeless guy tried to sell me a newspaper because that's what they do in D.C. That was your big hero moment outside the military. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Actually, I didn't do anything heroic in the military. That's the best it ever was for me right there. Do you want me to tell you one? That I had a girl that I went to school with, the Emmy, like last year. Go on. We were at a baseball game in high school. And I was sitting in front of her and she was behind or...

vice versa. She was in front of me and I was behind her with a group of friends and whoever was playing, I guess one of our guys hit the ball and that ball flew over the fence. It was going to hit her in the face. And she says that I reached over and I grabbed that ball. And then she was like, you saved my life that day. And I was like, fucking right. I don't remember it. I don't think that would work so well now. Yeah, no, I totally miss it. Yeah.

Crispy's like this. It bounces and hits a kid in the head. I killed a baby. That's a good hero moment. You saved a young lady's life. Now I'm sure she's a mom and she's trying to make sure her kids don't do drugs with fentanyl in them. Thank you to the cartel, by the way, for that. Thank you for sponsoring this ad.

Oh, Veterans Day. How I love. How I love it. We tossed this together two days ago because we have episodes. Two days ago? A day ago. A day ago. Like fucking 14 hours ago.

I see that plaque behind you. I just got one of those. Which one? Oh, yeah. Crispy just got... The little plaque. Your YouTube plaque right there. Oh, yeah. Why? You're pointing at that. I'm like, the one... I know. I was so confused. I was like, Henry? I was looking that way, too. Yeah. I was like, behind Henry? I was looking at the screen. But, yeah. We tossed it together. I was like, okay. We'll get this, this. I was like, okay. Crispy, Jack, and...

uh, and I was going to have Matt, Matt couldn't make it. So I was like, okay, we'll get Brandon's a veteran. So I was like, he's my first on the list of people to go to. I was like, I was surprised you asked me to be on the podcast with this hero. I know. Say it. Did you see that guy? He,

He's like an internet video guy. He's got that t-shirt that says self-taught Navy SEAL. It's so fucking awesome. Yeah. Remember the little kid that was like, you're disrespecting a future U.S. Army soldier. Oh, yeah. That's him.

Oh, really? That's Brandon. Oh, yeah. Brandon's like, that's not fucking me. And now he can't debate it. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That was Brandon as a child. Yeah. And then who would have thought? He's got three Medal of Honors and...

all those people. You remember all those people that were falling off the planes when we were exiting Afghanistan? He was catching them with a net. Brandon has new lore. People are going to animate all this lore for Brandon. He's a hero. Yeah, he's running for District 34. I will tell you, dude, I will... 23. No, District 23. U.S. Veteran, District 23. I'm like, that's the thing I correct. Right.

That's it. That's the only thing untrue is 23, not 24. I shouldn't have come here. You should have. Brandon's like, dude, I will take a million of you over people that are just bitch. Like bitchy veterans. I'll take my boy. I'll give him honorary vet any day of the week because at least he brings happiness. How about a handshake? Same. I'll do this.

There you go. Same thing as I am. This is a really nice medal that I didn't fucking win. He keeps sliding back. Brandon, I said put it on. Take it.

- And he opened his doors and let me come build my own AK, my first AK. - Yeah, dude, you're doing this. - It was awesome. - A dude like you will do more for the veteran community than someone's just going to bitch about. Yeah, if you're just, if your letter, if you're still wearing the letter jacket that I'm a veteran, this was my military career.

Stop. Wear an unsubbed shirt instead. Yeah. Exactly. Merch push. No. Funkerbranding.com forward slash unsubscribe. Yeah. I think that's right. Yeah. What if that's your next search? Self-taught veteran. Self-taught soldier. But it is...

It is the difference between I'd rather have one of you over a thousand of those because it is somebody that motivates not only the community. You're going to be now. You're running for Congress. You do care about the veteran community. You are your family. I was just talking to one of my consultants yesterday. We were talking about trying to get on the committee for Veterans Affairs. This is the dude that's going to make a difference. I know someone that was on that committee or the subcommittee, but they said that that's like...

That's one of the only bipartisan places. People still play their games there, but that's one of the few things that everyone can kind of get behind is the veteran stuff. Somehow they still fuck it up. It's how to do it is the problem. I want you to get in so we can ruffle some fucking feathers at the VA.

because you guys can't see but Nick's here. We've been trying to get a grant from the VA for Warfighter Scuba and they've been fucking dicking us around. Constantly giving bullshit excuses and they're giving funds to fucking places like North Carolina, fucking outdoor recreational, fucking whatever the fuck bullshit is. It has nothing to do with veterans, but they're funding those people and we can't get fucking money to help other veterans. I don't even trust the

government to run a website, let alone an entire healthcare system. The VA is fucking broken. But what I do like about the VA is that they have all the fentanyl-free drugs. No, those are the pharmaceutical companies that they outsource to. That's Pfizer, fool. This podcast brought to you by... No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Fucking Mr. Pfizer boy over here. But it is. It is somebody that makes a difference in the community. And then having like that now sitting across, like just helping with everything. It's so fucking. Thank you. Like from the bottom of my heart, like thank you for what you're doing, what you are representing. I never did any cool shit, but I understand the guys who do. For sure. And we had this conversation like when we were filming a video a couple weeks ago, like we I

I was like, look, man, I don't give a fuck what you're doing there. But I was like, if I can give you some advice, please help us out at the VA. Please help us get this shit going. And then he started telling me a story about his grandfather and how his grandfather got fucked by the VA and ended up fucking dying because of it. Am I right? Yeah.

Not necessarily dying because of it, but he got really shit care. The story was, it was in Fayetteville at one of the VA hospitals there. And being able to look out the window every day knowing he's getting shit care and looking across the street. And across the street from the VA hospital is the VA cemetery. And it's just how much of a fucking machine it is. It's just fucking disgusting. I don't give a fuck. No. And it's like I was telling you. Listen, I...

He did end up dying, but he wasn't necessarily... If no one ever thanks me for my service ever again, I'm okay with that. As long as we get good fucking health care. That's thanking American veterans for their service. Good health care. Yes. I don't want to hear it. The words don't mean shit if there's no fucking action. Help us fucking continue to save other veterans. Why is it so hard? Yeah. So, yeah, man. I hope that you do win. We need another Smedley fucking butler. Yeah.

I hope you get in. I hope you win. And I hope you help us like change this place from the inside out. Cause if I'm unfortunate enough to win, I hope I'm able to make a difference in that way. Yeah. Because I'll be honest with you. The only other Congressman that I can truly trust that's in there is Morgan Latrell. And that's it. Every, all the other rhinos, them, all these other veterans that are in there, that there's Morgan federal Congress or is he state? No, he's, he's, uh, he's,

Federal, I think. I've heard his name tossed around a lot. He's a fucking solid dude. He's a great, great guy. For those of you that don't know who Morgan is, he's Marcus' twin brother. I wonder what district. I think it's 34. I think that's why I said it earlier. Because I was thinking of him. We need more people to help us

Because if the VA does what they've been doing to us over at Warfighter, I definitely want to have you get involved and be like, hey, motherfuckers. Eighth congressional district. Eighth congressional, yeah. Sorry. I don't know where 34 is coming from. You guys want to hear about my favorite congressman? Who? Slash veteran? Who? Daniel Sickles. Let me tell you the story of Daniel Sickles. Daniel Sickles. He invented the sickle cell anemia. That's what he's known for. That's literally what I thought of, yeah.

Wow, you got me there. I'm like, I don't know what to say to that. You broke me. You broke me. I've never seen Jack's speech. Hey, I'll make fun of dead veterans, but race really makes me nervous, man. This is the best. All the veterans in the neighborhood are like...

That's a fucking veterans day episode right there. That's what they represent. Everyone's like, we just want to support our veterans. That's one thing, sorry to cut you off, but that's one thing I used to tell people. Man, I grew up in Fayetteville. All of my friends were veterans. All my friends' dads growing up even were veterans. It took me a long fucking time to realize that the military sense of humor wasn't normal. Yeah.

It's a little dark. I tell this to other comedy writers all the time. If you ever are looking for any, not necessarily a military story, but any type of comedy story, if you want to...

Get some of the best dialogue you'll ever hear in your life. Go spend a week embedded with an infantry platoon and just listen to the way those motherfuckers talk to each other. You'll have great dialogue and great material for the rest of your fucking life. They are so naturally funny in the way that they talk to each other. It's got to be how I rank war movies in my mind now is the banter. That is least content. So that's why I like that...

Not to go down a whole thing, but ever since I served, I've never really been able to watch war movies. It's not because of trauma or anything like that. I've become highly critical. So pretty much the only war movies I like are the stuff I watched when I was a kid before I actually got a glimpse behind the curtain.

You mean you don't like The Hurt Locker, the greatest horror movie ever? Hey, there's been a couple exceptions that I really fucking enjoyed. I loved the Midway movie they did a few years ago, and I loved the battle scene in the Barbie movie. I thought that was really well done. Dude, my favorite one. They knock out another part. What's the one with Shannon Tatum where he's... Todd?

Oh, the dog? I haven't seen that one. The other one where he's a staff soldier. Oh, yeah. Stop Loss or I don't know. No, it wasn't Stop Loss. Dear John? Dear John, yeah. Oh, Dear John, yeah. Nicholas Sparks, yeah. No, but it...

Dear John's a war movie. One of the best war movies. I know, we need to actually push that. We need to push that narrative. We'll start, everyone go. What was that testosterone at again? It was at 30. This is how we know it was at 30. Because you just really love Dear John. I got Barbie movie and Dear John. Those fucking letters, bro. I'll be like, fuck.

But when he sold them coins, them coins at his dad's. All right, so potentially stupid question. When you're talking about a Dear John letter, did that start from that or was that?

Yeah, it was because of him, dude. Yeah, no, but you know what? Well, you know what I mean. Like, I didn't know if that was a colloquial term beforehand. Fun history fact about the term. Nobody answered me. No, I think, I'm hoping he's going to. Well, the Dear John did, I don't know if it had military roots, but it's become popularized because of the military. Yeah. The secondary thing that goes into infidelity in military culture is the Jody. Yeah. Everyone knows Jody, right? Yeah.

The origins of Jody being the name for the guy who swoops up your girl originated in World War II from black southern soldiers. So it was Jody, Joe, and initial D was in southern black culture the guy that swooped in and stole your girl when you were gone. And when

And when they went into the army in large numbers, it became part of normal military vernacular. See, I never fucking knew that piece of it. So like black Confederate soldiers? No, World War II. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought wrong. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, like black Confederate soldiers. No, that was the thing. Oh, I know. But like Joe D had already been like this figure in black Southern culture for years that they became

mainstream. I think that's why when you said Black Southern, I was picturing that. No shit. I never knew that's where Jody came from. That's crazy. Now I want to know where Dear John came from. There's probably a... I guarantee there is a moment in history and I'm going to continue to talk like this while Brandon looks it up so the camera never cuts to him. It came from the fucking movie Dear John.

Yeah, yeah. Chattin Tatum. With Rachel Adams. There was a first. That wasn't Rachel Adams. Oh, shit. No, actually, it did not. It was a big, what?

Wow. The roots of the letter go back to war times, but to get more specific about it, the term and concept first appeared in a major newspaper in 1943 by a correspondent, Milton Bracker, who wired the story of Dear John letters and groups forming in the war. 1943? Yeah, so another World War II. So a lot of comes out. That's crazy how that took... I didn't know that. Yeah, that long. It's been ingrained in the military since World War II, a lot of this stuff.

Yeah, well, think about it, too. At one point, there was an E8 who was the first one to ever use the word behoove, and then that fucking became a thing. Behoove you. I'm going to piggyback off of what the Sergeant Major said. Come here, Muldoon. Oh, God. Gosh darn it. Doggone. I just imagine. Come here.

Hang on, Primer. E7 in 1962 was taking night classes at the community college, and he heard his professor use the word behoove. I'm like, that makes him look smart. I'm going to use it in my next speech. And now it's just a fucking thing. Well, I want to behoove you soldiers. And the other soldiers are like, that's a good word. That's a good word. I'm going to use that someday. When I'm in SEO one day, I'm going to be like,

God, I hate that word. I hate the military. We have some dope-ass guests coming in next month, actually. We have some... We've got quite a few. Yeah, we've got quite a few. I want to be here. You're going to range day? No, he's just planning on killing himself. That's where my boy is. That's why he's a veteran, that joker right there. I've never been invited to range day.

I don't know where the fuck it is. I'm not going to tell you now. We can't announce it over this. We'll text it afterwards. Jack and you are naturally invited. I got invited already. I'm a real Mexican and you guys are fake as fuck. You're not even from America. I'm from Texas. You were born in Texas? Where were you born, Omar? Do you have any idea how many people are watching this right now thinking, Crispy's not black? Ha ha ha!

I hear you cracking up over there. That shit happens all the time. I know. I love it because even my buddies, they're like, you're black friend, crispy. I'm like, that's actually happened to me a couple of times. Yeah. I'm like, I'm Mexican. That's happened to you a couple of times? People are like, he's black, right? I'm like, no. 100% beaner. Like,

Yeah, I'm both sides. There's no black in my lineage at all. Water. Yeah. My bitch is still wet from when we came here. Me and Eli are just kind of like moist backs. Yo, we're moist backs, I say. What's up, dog? But everybody always thinks I'm black. You are white as shit. No, I'm tan. It's because he's Asian. Oh, you're tanning.

Yeah, by any bit. Bro, we should do like... We're like with our powers combined, we're two Mexicans. With our low income. Our credit story. Hey, what's up, fool? Love for Impalas. If he's...

If he's a W-back and you guys are moist-backs, I'm like, what's a W-back? I'm like a W-back. That's the most easy thing I've ever... You know how I feel about race jokes. What is a W-back? I am so much more offended by a W-back. That is way worse to say. How long have you been fucking friends? Oh, I don't... Look, I don't like to use... And you know I don't use that kind of language. How long... You can't say it to my face as a friend? I have a new racial slur, by the way, for... I want to get called a dry-back. Could you please blur this, G-Van? S***.

LAUGHTER

It's my new favorite. Somebody called me that the other day and it just fucking cracked me the shit up. I was selling Nick on the way here. I did an event somewhere and the lady called me the Ann Ward and I'm like, first of all, I'm Mexican, bitch. And then I just saw right after that. Oh, dude, I remember this was a couple years ago. LeBron James did a story on his Instagram where he was like Taco Night or something like that, but he started like

doing like stereotypical Mexican stuff. And then Omar made this response video where he started, he like leaned into the black thing. He's like, is this funny? I'm like, oh shit, dude. That was like personal for you when you made that. It was fried chicken Friday. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah, because he was like with a bucket. I was like, oh really motherfucker? You think taco Tuesdays? I was like, fried chicken. I was like, what did I say? Fried chicken Friday. And I was holding a watermelon. Yeah.

Well, trying to hold a watermelon. Cradling. Yeah, cradling. Son of a bitch. My black friends thought it was funny.

I sent it to them and they were like, bro, post it. When you can make fun of everybody equally, that's equality. Yeah, without a doubt. Don't fucking be a bitch about shit. And then I showed it to Jack and Jack was like, oh man, it's a little... I could find this exchange. I was just like, well, maybe you want to fine tune this part of the joke so there's no misrepresentation.

Misinterpretation there. I understood the joke. It was funny. I just like dub you back now. It's going to be a shirt for us. It just says a big dub, like a wind. The hard W. If you go to Bunker Branding slash Crispy 11B, you will find a fucking...

W back shirt. I won't. Really? Yeah, we'll make it happen. Oh, okay. You already have that? I'm like, Matt approved that? Holy shit. Fuck Matt. He ain't gonna approve shit. It's gonna happen. Crispy, can we get us to not... We're gonna do a shot for Veterans Day if you guys are good for it. Sure. We can do the less. Jack, are you good with it? Yeah, can you do the lessies? No, I can do one. I didn't do fools. I didn't do fools. Yeah.

Because fools are, I did like a little over half. Oh, so you're jumping off that wagon? What's up? Jumping off that wagon? Tomorrow we're going to box. So, yeah, tomorrow we're boxing. So we've got, so we're doing Sober November for the most part. Why not Sober October? That wasn't happening. We have a podcast exemption from it. That is this. And then we're all just like, okay, this is our one day.

Just cram as much in as possible. I don't mind doing it earlier. You're a bunch of fucking cheaters. That's what you guys are. But I do really good. I don't drink that much anymore. We actually have the backlog on podcast, so we're not going to do a lot this month. We're going to be mostly good. Yeah, this is the last one for the month because we're so bad. I just think of this t-shirt idea that Jared had that I think would be an awesome Veterans Day shirt pitch. I'm terrified by what this is doing. This is a Jared Taylor idea. You don't have to say it's a Jared Taylor idea. You can just say the idea and we'll automatically say it.

Oh, yeah. Is it food plus object? Is it food plus object? No, it's. Oh, damn. Then I would have never guessed. Paul Tibbetts Slade. What? Who the fuck is he? Never mind. I would have guessed it. Yeah. He was the Enola Gay pilot.

Oh, that's it. Yeah. That's just the shirt. Oh, man, that's a hard. Those who don't know the Enola Gay was the bombing plane that ended up dropping the atomic bomb on Japan. Little man, little boy, fat man, a little boy. Yeah, I think little boy was first. Yeah, little boy. That's why I was like, I think it was a little boy. Yeah, because fuck Nagasaki, I guess. Yeah.

And you know the story about the Japanese guy that was in Hiroshima survived the blast. And he's like, well, I got to get the fuck out of here. So he walks to Nagasaki. And right when he showed up in Nagasaki, the other one. And he survived both of them. Both of them.

That's the worst luck in the gut. Do you know what? That is the opposite of Kokura Lucky. That is the exact opposite of Kokura Lucky. Let's talk all veterans for a moment. The last Japanese soldier that they found out that was still like... 1970. It was like 75 or something. We were talking about this, right? No, you missed it. So we had it last. You did. Yeah, we talked about it last. I don't need to go into detail there. It's just like...

Of all the fucking war movies I'd love to see be made, I'd love a fucking story about one of those dudes. It's basically extra spicy castaway. Yeah. He was hiding the whole fucking time. Yeah, and every time someone tried to approach him to fucking be like, hey, it's cool, man. This is over. He'd shoot at him because he didn't believe anybody. He killed multiple civilians. His own general, they had to send that. And his family. He didn't believe his family. Yeah, they sent his fucking family. And he's like, nah, nah, bruh.

Until 70s. 30 fucking years of fighting something that didn't exist anymore. He's like, nope. And now they're just really good at baseball and they make the cartoons you like, Eli. Anime. You guys thought this was just a show about cum and talking about racist jokes and things and we're making you learn shit by accident. It's both now. If you want something different, head on over to my... Did I tell you I hit 100,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel? Yeah, he got a silver play button. My guy.

What are those called with you? What? A high five. Because all five fingers don't hit. Still a high five. I mean, I don't know. The other day I was at the gym. Tarzan and Jane over there. You can hold it. My wife does it all the time. I feel comfortable. Why not that one? Because it's harder to grab.

And I don't like it. The other day, I was like, I don't like it. Listen, next time you're at the gym. I don't like it. Next time you're at the gym, there's a machine that you sit forward and you fucking move back. A rowing machine? No, it's a machine for weights to work your back out. Okay, yeah. No, the T machine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then in the middle has like a little rubber thing. Well, when you lift it, look it up. And there's a little sign on there that says don't put your hand on there because it'll end up like this.

Yeah. It's actually Crispy's hand in the warning sign. I'm a hand model. That's actually a good little TikTok or something where you just have that and your hand comes in. I've already done it. I've already done it. I have a question for you. Is your first gunshot wound still visible? Yeah. No. No, not really. These are mostly burns. Yeah. You gunshots don't show up that much. I still have mine.

Yours is better. Well, you were at the barrel. You were literally at the barrel of your gunshot. Which is worse. That's significantly worse. Yeah, that's where all... Well, that's what I'm thinking. You not only get the energy of the round, but you also get the energy of the rest of the expulsive gas. The muzzle blast, I think, is what charted up to where I wasn't bleeding as bad because I think it charted up my skin a bit. And it opens up a lot more temporary cavity. I don't know anything about medicine. I'm learning about this right now.

Yeah, because it's the gas expulsion that like, yeah. Like fried, you've done that. You're lucky it's green tip. The flash is over real quick. Happy Veterans Day. Oh, yeah, everyone. Happy Veterans Day. Each and every one of you. Thank you to all the veterans out there. We love you guys. Love you guys.

thing. And then Chris, but you're going to tell us actually happy to all happy veterans day to all the veterans, except for Timothy McVeigh and Jeffrey Dahmer and the guy who shot, uh, the guy who shot Lee Harvey Oswald and Lee Harvey Oswald to not Jack Ruby, Jack Ruby, just had my best for not showing up. Yeah.

It's just Matt Best plays no longer veteran. We just accepted like fucking 12 veterans. We're taking your veteran status and giving it to Brandon. Dude, I made a picture of Timothy McVeigh from when he was in Desert Storm. I made a meme where it said,

Kim Kardashian can get a million likes for showing her butt. How many can we get for this veteran? I saw that. Yeah, that was me. I made that. You did? Oh, my God. Well, Tim McVeigh would have been a lot more based if the FBI actually showed up to work that day and not just that basement full of kids. Oh, yeah. That was really weird that the FBI took that day off. Anyway. Cheers to Veterans Day. Cheers to Veterans Day. People are like, I love this podcast. Crispy. What? Can you do a synopsis of your burn story?

you're blow you've told it before but not on this podcast i think the listeners out there which that's by the way that that's one of the best uh it's who we are oh it is it is the best that was the first one that set the precedent um for the rest of them yeah i think it made my mom cry yeah tell us that thank you um yeah it was uh may 14th of 2007 i always forget it's been so long no it was 07 um

Regular patrol, regular day. We went out. It was a five vehicle convoy and I was in the third vehicle as a gunner. And we had five in there. We had, you know, driver, TC, truck commander, passenger, passenger and myself and a gun. IED goes off and we're like, holy shit. First IED of the day, small one, hit the last vehicle, just blew the tire up. So we kind of, you know, assess the situation. We're like, oh, you know, nothing happened. We keep pushing forward.

And then all of a sudden, the first two vehicles start getting engaged from, like, the left-hand side. Like, they're getting shot up. And they're like, holy shit. Here we go. Well, they couldn't turn on that road because it was, you know, they were already getting shot at. But the next road, they couldn't. So my vehicle ended up turning and becoming the first vehicle. So when we turn, I automatically, I see the fucking, I can hear the fucking rounds throw over my head. Like, it's like, oh, shit. I'm like.

Here we go. You know, fucking here's the adrenaline. And then I just get behind the 50 and I start fucking. I hit a couple, killed a couple. And then at that point, everybody fell into formation once again. And then once we did, we start pushing forward towards the enemy. And then I remember going over like the biggest fucking bump we had ever fucking gone over. And at this point, we've been there for like 11 months. Like it's been a minute.

And so I knew the streets like the back of my hand. So I'm like, whoa, what the fuck was that? And as I was like, feels like hitting a speed bump fast. Yeah. Yeah. So I was processing like, wait a minute, that fucking should have been boom. I mean, fucking goes off.

It was 200 pounds of explosives that they had buried. We found out this later on from all the research and stuff that they did. But they dug a hole from one of the houses into the road, and they started stuffing it with explosives. We got kind of lucky because the guy was a command detonator.

and the guy was looking through the window, and he panicked, and he should have set it off right in the middle of the Humvee. If he would have hit the middle of the Humvee, everybody in there would have been dead. Cat kill. Yeah, that's it. But he panicked milliseconds, and it hit the back of the Humvee. So it threw the Humvee up in the air. So it lifted it from the back? Oh, yeah. Yeah, when the Humvee came back down. You're talking about a ton vehicle.

It's fucking heavy. And then it hits. And then when it hit, my legs gave out. When he says a ton vehicle, this is like multi, like you're looking at an up-armored Humvee, like probably 40,000 pounds. Yeah, I was in 1151. 40,000 pounds? Probably. That's 10 tons or 20 tons. Let me look up. Continue your story. I'm not good with math. Anyway, so vehicle goes up, hits the ground, my legs give out. And I remember falling inside the vehicle and I fell down.

On the right-hand side passenger, and that was Specialist Harkey. And I remember looking at Harkey and looking at his eyes, and they were white. He was killed just on the IED itself. And as I'm laying there, you know, I'm like just looking around, and I look over to my left, and I see Fleming jumps out and Catterton jumps out. And I saw both of them on fire, but I was like watching a movie in slow-mo mode.

And then fast so like I looked at them and they were both on fire running away and I was like, oh shit And then I just remember man laying there and up until this point we have lost like 15 16 guys and you know, um, I was very mad and You know, I my faith had been like fucking gone. Like I was like mad at god I was asking him. How can you let my friends die around me and all this shit? And I remember then laying there making peace with god. I was like, um

you know i was just pretty much asking him to take care of my mom because i knew my mom was gonna like be the one to suffer the most when she found that i was dead my dad is former military so i knew he was gonna be okay um and then i was just like make my you know let my little brother step in and be the oldest and take care of my sister and all that and as i'm doing that i remember compost was in the front and he reached and grabbed and he goes get the out get out he couldn't get out because his equipment had burned into the seat

And at that moment, man, I just felt like this fucking energy inside of me. And like I've been to now, I always tell like everybody, like you're a believer or not. Like I tell everybody I feel like it was God because I had this massive energy in my body and I got up and I can clearly hear somebody saying not today. This is not where you die. So I get up, I man the gun. And as soon as I do that, there's there's enemy on the rooftop. I'm like, holy shit. So I start shooting.

And then as I was doing that, the flames were so hot that some of the rounds started cooking off and something exploded. I'm like, fuck, it's time to get out. And as I'm doing that, a grenade goes off and just peppers my whole right leg. I mean, fucking hits me really bad. And as a gunner, you're taught to jump from the gunner's hatch to the engine and then down because it's pretty fucking high. It's like six feet high. It's a high, like...

Anything at that especially when you're you have your front LP you have all your equipment on you're adding an additional 60 pounds Especially if your legs are fucked. Yes, it would yeah and then yes and then so and then doesn't work You jump to the back and then that both sides were on fire So if I would have jumped on the engine I'm fucking done So I'm like fuck so I jumped to the side when I jumped to the side both of my femurs just break. Oh

And at this time, I'm on fire. And I'm like, holy shit. And then, you know, I was automatically was like, oh, fuck. Stop dropping rope. Well, I'm already dropped.

So I'm like, fucking roll. And let me just tell you. Did you... You say break. Were they just like... They popped out to the side. Oh, fuck. So did they dislocate or did they like shatter like compound on the side? They compound shattered on the side like this. Like out the... Yeah. Yeah, dude. Because so with the femurs, just if I can, it is... You have like your quads and your hamstrings are the strongest muscles in your body. So if you have a crack that's...

usually what happens compound fracture bone separates now it's pushing up you can cause arterial bleeding you have all these negative effects from that on top of that that's a hard bone to break yeah it is so now you have the hardest bone to break shatter sideways pulling because muscles can have damage from that so humble you like crispy boom boom yeah and if i recall correctly you didn't really feel the pain at that time no no not at all

So I, you know, did the whole stop, drop and roll and it doesn't fucking work. So that's, that's a fucking man. I picture the enemies. They're like watching and you're like, shit, shit. I'm on fire. Shit. And they're just like, what is homeboy doing? Right. Doesn't he know?

The globalists don't want me to know this. Stop dropping the roll. Bullshit. And then at that moment, one of the guys from the last vehicle ran up to me and put me out with a fire extinguisher and they pulled out compost. And shortly after, he's like, I'll be back. I'm going to go grab a medic. And I'm like, okay. And I had managed to grab my M4, so I'm on the ground like this.

And then I look behind me and I see a door. I'm like, well, fuck, let me push myself away. Because at this point, I'm from here to like maybe Eli and I can feel the heat of the fucking vehicle. So I'm like, oh, so I start pushing back and I turn around. I saw that door and I fucking put three rounds through that door just in case somebody was coming. And then I just sat there and I was scanning the rooftop to see if I see enemies. And at that point, another buddy ran by and he looks at me and goes, are you alive? And I was like, I think so.

And he goes, oh, shit. And at that moment, a vehicle had already moved in front of us. And so he's like, dude, I got to get you up. I was like, dude, I think my legs are broken. He goes, no, you're OK. I'm like, OK. So he picks me up, and I'm putting most of my weight on him, and we're walking to the next vehicle. And he's like, dude, I need to put you on a stretcher. I need to put you on a stretcher. I'm like, OK. So he's like, let me open the door. So he lets go of me, and my fucking legs just go. And I just remember watching him, the Humvee in the sky, and I hit him, because I'm like,

Oh, shit. And he comes over me. He goes, you OK? And I was like, I tell you, my legs were broken. And he's like, what the fuck? The adrenaline was so high, I did not feel the pain. And so finally, he loads me up into the vehicle. He goes, I got to go get a medic. I got to go get a medic. I'm like, OK. I'm sitting there. The guy that was driving that vehicle was his first day outside the wire. We were getting replacements for all the guys that we were losing. And it was his first day. And he was fucking screaming and panicking.

I did what anybody would do. I reached over, slapped him, and told him to shut the fuck up. Very George Patton of you. Shut the fuck up. Got the job done. Hey! Listen to me, soldier! You see these legs? To...

To be perfectly honest, if we're comparing trauma here. Yeah. And then shortly after that, a medic jumps in. He starts working on me. And I'm like, hey, man, I need some water. At this point, I got really thirsty. And he goes, I can't give you any water just yet. I can't give you any water. I was like, give me some fucking water. And he finally gives me some. And I took a sip. And I'm like, just take some more sips. Take some more. I'm like, OK.

And then I made the biggest mistake of my life. I poured water over my head. So the chemicals from the IED, from the fire extinguisher, the dirt in Iraq, everything just fucking went down in my eyes and I went fucking, I couldn't really see. And I'm like, fuck.

And then at this point, we just hear like, hey, we're good to go. We're good to go. We're good to go. Let's push. And I'm like, oh, fuck. And I look, I was like, give me the headset. So I grab the headset from the guy, put him on. And I was like, what order are we in? The convoy goes first. I'm like, fuck. I was like, you know how to get back? He goes, nope. And at that point, I was like, either I panic or I tell this fucking guy how to get back. Because again, we've been there 11 months.

I knew that place like the back of my hand. You get your rouse down. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everybody knows. You fucking know how to get back regardless. And so I started giving them instructions. So you already knew the orientation of where your hobby was. I was perfectly where we were at. Yeah.

You hammer this shit. You hammer it in your head. Like doing dismounted patrols, I could walk half a mile and land exactly at the house I needed to. Like hot girl house. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Hot girl house. I told the story about we had one hot girl house in all of Four Corners in Baghdad, and everyone knew hot girl house. Yeah, I can tell you on FBCB2 right now to this day, we're hot girl house right now.

And so we start making our way back and then I'm like, let me know when you see the gate. He saw it and I called it up. I was like, hey, I'm coming in. I got one KIA and I got four WIA wounded in action. And they were like, okay. They had no idea I was one of them. So we roll in. They open the door and my buddy opens the door and I look at him and I'm just naked. He's like,

We got to get you out. I'm like, okay. So he goes to grab me. And when he grabs me by the arms, my whole skin just went. And he's looking at me like fucking freaking out. And I closed the door because I knew we only had three medics. I said, go get the other guys. They're worse than I am.

And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? He opens the door again. He goes, and we were lucky that there was SF compound right next to us. Oh, they've got the best. 18, yeah. Yeah. So their medic came over. They're like, no, no, we have this guy here. And I was like, okay. So they pulled me out. They put me in the 8th station. I'm laying there. I see the other three guys come in. And everybody was nonverbal. I mean, you know, from the trauma and shit. And then...

They call the medevac. Medevac shows up. We get loaded on the bird. And, man, I remember fucking smelling fucking heaven.

And I look up and it's a fucking, it's a fly medic chick. It's just all that fucking perfume. And I was like, how are you doing? And she's looking at me like, what the fuck is like, what are you doing after this? I don't remember. Are you hitting on me right now? Really? I was so high on fucking on a morphine and everything that I'm like, what are you doing after this? I told, I told him about the desert Queens.

a couple weeks ago I was like we have desert queens that you were like even blown up burnt that was definitely a desert queen and I ended up seeing her again at BAMC she was doing some training at BAMC and she was like you might not remember me but I'm so and so and I was like oh I remember and anyway so ended up at what'd you fuck up

Nothing. I ended up back at I got injured May 14th. By May 16th, I was walking through the doors of Brooke Army Medical Center. They started working on me and I spent three years there. I was in an induced coma for a couple months.

And then as a result of that, I sustained 75% burns to the body, third and fourth degree burns, and then had an amputation below the right leg. How many surgeries? Currently at 106.

And even since I've known you, you've probably done half a dozen. Oh, yeah. I remember your 100th. It came in like 2019? Yeah, I think. No, 17. 17. It was just when we just met for the first time. Yeah. He was celebrating. That must have been like right before we met, actually. I think it was. Yeah, it was right before that because I had my leg amputated in 16, and I think.

Oh, 16? Really? No shit. Wow, that late? Yeah, we did nine years limb salvage on it. I used to have a club foot, kind of like a diabetic cut. No shit. Because that's how much the fucking grenade cut off of me that day. I'm learning shit. I thought you had your fucking leg taken pretty early. No, no, no. It was a light, yeah. I amputated my leg in 2016. No shit. Yeah. That was two years before we met. Yeah, it was two months into me dating my wife, girlfriend back at the time. Yeah.

And where a lot of guys have to be like, hey, I got to tell you something. I have herpes. Where you're like, hey, I'm going to get my leg chopped off.

Yeah. Yeah. And she was there the whole time, man. So yeah. Good for her, man. That's awesome. But yeah, I've been, uh, 106 surgeries. I can probably have another hundred to do reconstruction surgery everywhere, but that's going to be an ongoing thing. It is. It is. And it's, it's a selective thing. Like I said, like right now I can have like a hundred more surgeries that I want to get done. Um, whether it be, you know, um,

doing Scar band tissue releases and stuff like that because they get so tight and so dry and everything and that's kind of like what I was telling Nick was like That's why I kind of fell in love with scuba diving again because once I'm in the water Like my body starts to loosen up because of the water and the salt water and I'm like, oh shit I didn't know I can fucking stretch that far. Like I'm like, oh look at that I can touch my toes, you know, like shit like that. So I

I can have another 100 surgeries right now to help with all that. But it's just, it sets me back so much. Like I have to be, you know, I'm going to be in the hospital and then it's two weeks to recover and then follow up this and follow up that. And then if it doesn't work, we got to do it again. And it's just,

I'm over that. Like, I really don't fucking like being in the hospital. I've had three years of living there. Yeah. I don't like to go. I think one of the most fascinating things you told me when we were discussing, uh,

Your amputation is, and I've heard this from other amputees, is like when you're driving the car, you can feel the sensation. I drive with my prosthetic, yeah. Yeah, so you use your prosthetic on the pedal, but you feel it like it's your foot. Me and Brandon were like, we both jumped. We're like, what? It's weird because I can feel my prosthetic.

As if it were my foot pushing on the gas. So it's kind of like a mixture of the prosthetic and phantom. Phantom pain. Do you have the phantom pain? Oh yeah. When I move my nub inside the prosthetic,

I'm still simulating moving those toes and flexing that ankle and all that. And that translates. It translates, yeah. It makes sense in the brain, but even though it's not there. It makes sense because even now, like, when you, like, my brain is what's registering those nerves to, like, move my toes. So then it... Well, what's crazy, too, is, like, what Corder did with the 3D-printed hand and shit like that, like, those tendons and everything, like, it's crazy how, like...

Oh, God, the prosthesis, like from World War I to where we are now and where we're going is going to get so crazy. Oh, yeah, it is. Like, have you seen that guy on YouTube? Shout out to this guy. I can't remember his name. It's Michael something. I think. I don't know. But he lost most of his hand. So he lost like his fingers and everything. He's still got his thumb and shit. But he built like a chain.

Like, hand. That operates. It's based off of, like, here, right? And he can close it. He can grab shit. He can do whatever. But it's so fucking steampunk. It's so cool. Yeah, I saw all that being developed at the hospital with all the other guys in prosthesis and all that shit. Yeah. He can flay the fingers. He can close it. Yeah, open it, grab, drop, fucking give you the finger, everything. Yeah. Dude, that stuff's so wild. It's super cool. And that's what it's going to be. Ah, thank you for sharing that, man. That's a fucking...

This is a great veterans. Guys, on that note, we're going to close this amazing episode down.

Thank you guys for sharing your stories, talking. Brandon, especially you. Fuck you, dude. Brandon, you are a true OG. We appreciate everything you're doing. I've got some extra Red Horse swag if you want to borrow it. I'm not an honorary member. Our beautiful people, where can we find you at? Oh, and we're going to do the after show after this. It's like in 10, 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah.

YouTube mainly, guys. Crispy11B. I'm doing a lot more longer content on there from hunting to going to the track. Just pretty much what we talked about, having that belt. I share my life with you guys of everything that I love doing from racing vehicles to archery to shooting guns to hunting to scuba diving. Everything is on that fucking channel. So if you guys want to come check that out, Crispy11B. Help me get those numbers up.

Jack? As always, you can find me crashing in JT's spare room. Jack Mandeville, everyone. I spent a whole summer crashing in your spare room. He did. Jack's about to... That was awesome. In Wimberley. I didn't know that. When I lived in Wimberley. No shit. Jack, you're about to start some stuff? Oh, yeah. You started a YouTube channel, right? Oh, okay, yeah. I am starting a YouTube channel. There we go. Because of this podcast. Because of this podcast. And these motivational people that will be like, Jack...

And you amazing community out there, because I told Jack to read the comments and he was like, oh shit, Eli read the comments. These people are mostly not pieces of shit. I left my first ever YouTube comment on a response to something somebody said I responded to. That was my first time ever commenting on YouTube. Long time worker, first time commenter. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, so yeah, my goal right now is to focus on the content and writing part. And then I will be consulting with you guys on the best practices and the business portion of it. Anything you need, man, we're here for you. Appreciate it. We got to do another video. Yeah, same here. And you better fucking come to Range Day. Well, you text me when it is. How about as soon as those cameras turn off, I'll tell you when and where. And I'll let you know if I'm in town.

And then Brandon has an interesting video coming up with a certain guy. Oh, yeah. We got the Inglorious Bastards fist gun. Did I tell you about that? It's the OSS Sedgley Mark II. Oh, fuck, yeah. Oh, I saw one of those in person. No shit. I was doing stuff. Maybe we're not done. I love this. We're doing a big story on the group. Actually, we should probably do this for the Patreon. Oh, yeah. Guys, if you want to know the stories, check out the fucking Patreon.

Appreciate you guys. See you next time. Love you, you beautiful bitch.