102 - Baddie Daycare ft. Admin Results & Micah Mayfield
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How come you get a fancy drink? I get a fancy one? You get vodka cranberry. You want some? I got- we got everything bro, what do you want? I want vodka cranberry. I mean I don't even want that bad, I was just- I don't yell at you when I get it. Is this the camera that I look at? It's that, yeah. Down the pipe. Is that the wide angle right there? Yeah, can you just- a little bit of all? Like kind of like an Arnold Palmer situation? Do you join soldiers? I do now.

Told me to tell you, I'm coming for ya. Admin hates soldiers. On this unsubscribed podcast. Admin yells at veterans. Emotional veterans. No, no, no, admin yells at disabled veterans. Way better. Chris, come here. Yeah, yeah. I treat all my veterans the same. I don't care if you're abled or disabled. Don't hit me in with him. I hate all of them. You're very abled, brother. I'm...

Barely a veteran. Let's just call it out. He's abled. Abled and willing. You know what I'm saying? This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew.

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That's M-U-D-W-T-R dot com slash unsubscribe. Oh yeah, we gotta crack a- you just crack it. Yeah, I'll crack it, sorry. I missed all the cameras, that was kind of a win. Ready, Batty? We're getting ready, we put it up, and... I bite my nails. I bit my nails too bad. Oh, did you clap? We didn't clap on the last one. Hey, Fluck, that's for the last episode too, good luck. It's great. Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast, as always, we have Eli, DoubleTut, myself, Batty, Streams, and our two...

Very, very cute guests. One of them very mysterious. We have the wonderful Michael Mayfield and administrative results. I stumbled on that word. Roar!

Good to be here, gentlemen. Happy to have you back, really. It's been a minute. Micah, not so happy about it. But you, I'm glad you're here. I feel good to be back. I'm like the supporting character. I'm just usually here when my friends are. We needed a body, and you were warm. Can't wait for this one. A hole is what I'm looking for. The warm body is so much better than the cold body. You know what I'm saying? This is how you started in life. What?

I can't wait for this. When I say it, it feels like a joke. When you say it, it feels like a cold body. Somebody. How do you feel about that, Micah? I did like the Green River Killer documentary. If we're talking about dead people. We're not a murder mystery podcast. That's for Friday. Never mind. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a great doc. What's the... His Green River Killer was... Wait, hold on! He had sex with dead people. What's that called? He's using a super... Oh, necrophilia. Necrophilia. I thought we were making a necrophilia joke. Yeah, it wasn't a necrophilia joke. Oh, yeah, gotcha. It was, 100%. That's where my mind was going. You know, it really didn't take off too well. It really felt like, you know, dead. It was kind of dead in the water from the beginning. Wait, why can't I remember his name? It was a dead joke. I know who he is. Steven Paddock carried 600... No, I'm just kidding. What is it?

We still don't know why. Why are you doing this? No cameras? Jesus Christ. We're just going right in. Three minutes in, we're like, well, fuck it. No security? Bullshit. You're like, I can't remember his name. I don't know why that's the name that popped into my head, but it was. The largest mass shooting in U.S. history, and it still has no motivation behind it.

So why you guys been up to this? It's a conspiracy podcast now. I know. It just cuts to me back. We are, boy. We gotta log out of these Wi-Fi signals. 5G. How you guys been? Oh, it's been a long time for you. Has it been almost over a year now? It has not been that long, has it? I think it has.

Somebody let us know how long it's been in the comments, because I'm not going to look it up. It's been like a week for me. You know why? You were here last month. Yeah. I feel like I'm more of an asshole, because your cinematographer is right there. Yeah, he saw you. He saw you.

Do you remember last time with me and Mike though we were in the middle of podcast and then Charlie walks in and he was like

Get the fuck off my set! What the fuck are you doing? Right here, right here. Say hi. Hi. Get out of here!

Why doesn't he wear a... Nah, it's like my thing, you know? It's your thing? Yeah, he doesn't have... He's a free-range face. He's a chicken. Free-range chicken. He's all organic, free-range. Free-range cameraman. No GMOs over there. I gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, you know, keep them organic kind of thing. They're hard to find. They get a little chicken coop. They get to run around, edit videos. So, like, you're like the organic... He's like fucking McDonald's? No, no, he's free-range. I'm like... Oh, you're the McDonald's and he's the... You're thinking of the analogy all wrong.

He is the free range cameraman and I'm just the free range balaclava. You know what I'm saying? This doesn't make any goddamn sense. I'm playing. Eli, I thought you had a question. You're raising your hand. On my own podcast? Eli, go ahead. Question? What is your video?

- You say that, we learned. - Who did, JT or Caleb. - JT raised his hand. - JT raised his hand to ask a question.

Can I go to the bathroom? No, we are filming. Hold it. I can't hold it. Piss yourself. I'll hold it. Dude, it's great to have you back. You're just exploding. We talked about on the Grantham episode.

Not the Micah episode. The Grantham episode. For sure, yeah. He's got to point at you. I was like, the Grantham. I am Grantham. Know your fucking place. It's like, I am Spartacus. I am Grantham. Yeah, that's me. But it was what we discussed was a lot of people say you're their number one or number two favorite character.

Gun tuber that is my number one as very concerned. He said number one. I said he was my number one Yep, I did say there's some bias in it though because he's my friend. Yes. I like him and I said you like Best cinematographers in the game and I will say this without question You two fine gentlemen are the best two cinematographers in the gun tuber space on creating content creating cinematography definitely better than demos guy David

Sorry David. David! Why you gotta do David like that? You're such a nice guy. Somebody's gotta do it. I'm just saying he's paying attention. Okay, that's good. Team Shark. That doesn't mean you're fucking talented, David. Go fuck yourself. Fucking David. Fuck you. You know what? You know what it is? Just because you're cute? It's Demo's fault. He doesn't let him express his creative freedom. I'm gonna say it's Matt's fault.

Yeah. Oh, no, it's not David's fault. Demos very much is like, no, we're doing it. I remember I showed up to Matt's range with my all my fancy camera gear and stuff. We have a GoPro. He's like, oh, yeah, you see, you use a mic and this and that. He's like, mics fail. See, when you just click record and there's the internal mic, you're going to go. You'll never not have an external recorder. But you know what fucking sucks is you.

His 10 million subscribers that prove it. Halfway through the video, I go, oh, I wasn't recording on the external recorder. And his point was proven right. And I was like, no! No!

No, we had to refilm all of it. So when we actually did the zombie skit with for Matt and Black Rifle and all that shit, we had demo on. And then when I was directing him, I remember Gallagher had all the fancy cameras. Okay, this is like, no, no, we're not fucking doing that. I was like, Matt, here's what we're doing. Set up a camera. I was like, I handed it to him. I was like, do you?

I hit record as a do you and he's like, hey, demo here. The effect shot did everything else and done one take because it was operating in his style. I was like, hey, I'll just set it really pretty and then let him hold the camera. The amount of times I've been on Demo Ranch now and he's done everything in one take.

It's frustrating. He's a master of his craft. It's frustrating! Well, he's been doing the whole gun tube thing for 10 years now. Yeah. I think I said that. I think I ranked him like number two just because I was watching him when I was in like seventh grade. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. 10 years ago, I was 16. Oh my God. Oh my God. How old are you back again? 27. So yeah, I was 17. We're so old. This is the baby. We're babysitting right now.

This is daycare. We're looking after some elderly senile folks. Drunks? Yeah. I feel so old now. I always forget and tell you guys to reaffirm when you're like, I was 10 in 2012. I like how you raise the octane of your voice a little bit. I was 10. It's me. I saw the ball at the club and I was crazy, man. Nice.

I went to school like this. I was just at Lowe's a couple days ago, and the motherfucker at the counter, he was like, oh, you have military discount? I'm like, yeah. He's like, oh, when did you serve? I'm like, oh, 9 to 15. He's like, man, I was 6 then. I'm like...

Why would you say that? And Batty gets in before. I was out before Batty got in the military. I did war and Batty. I got out and checked out of the military. I was like, I did my service. And Batty's like, it's out my boots. I'll go. And then this motherfucker's like, yeah, I was six when you were in. I'm like, wow, we're fucking on it. Time is a cruel and unrelenting mistress.

We'll see when I turn 30. I can't wait till you turn 30. Yeah. You're gonna break. I still feel young. You don't look young. Holy shit. That's fair.

Hey dude, I'm 40 pounds heavier than I was like 10 years ago. What? Yeah, sorry, that was rude. I just need a lift. Mike's been harassing me to get in the gym, but why are you? Why would you do that though? It's lame generally. You're a ginger, you don't need a lift. That's what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. We look naturally good husky. Like, that's just how we are. Yeah, it's facts. Yeah, it's a ginger thing. So I should gain weight. What are they talking about? Being naturally good looking husky. Yeah, okay, that's gonna work, yeah. I'm just big boned. Just like you both have naturally good eyesight.

So if I lose weight, my eyesight gets better?

No, your hair just gets brown and not red anymore. Oh. Carrots. Carrots. I have so many carrots. Okay, first off, no. No. He looks like the guy in Modern Warfare 2 when you, like...

When you posted that, the first day they released that skin, on my stream I had me as like- Somebody's a fan of the studio. This is literally admin. Did you see Christian Krookhead? I didn't mean to cut you off. Go ahead. No, go. No, no. Go. Finish it. It was another- It was the guy- I'm playing for Space on his account. The guy that does the tactical TAS guy. He was like, no, that's me. And I was like, ooh, sorry, guys.

It is. Wait, it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he responded to me. Who? And he's a good friend. Tactical Taz, isn't that the shitty little dog? Yeah, it's a little dog. It's the owner. Yeah, the owner's name's Taz? I thought the dog was Taz. Saddy.

No, no, I think the dog is Taz, right? Yeah, the dog is Taz. Fuck you! You said that's Tactical Taz! That's the dog! I don't even know who Tactical Taz is. Who's the owner? What is Tactical Taz? It's a shitty, it's a little chihuahua that wears fucking a plate carrier. No, you do not say shitty. Oh my god, the internet's gonna... I don't care! Light him up! Tactical Taz is the cutest fucking dog

In the tactical space. Yeah, the cutest tactical dog in the tactical space is just one of them. It's like, you win because you're the only one! Do you like tactical Taz? Do I like tactical Taz? Do you like him? Yeah, I mean, I like dogs. Yeah, but him, he's like adorable. Oh yeah, we all like dogs. Everybody likes dogs, but... Or else you're a little adorable little chihuahua. You're a psychopath. He's fucking adorable.

My cats could beat the shit out of that dog. I'm not a cat guy. I have two cats, two dogs. Look at him. Batty's picking on him. That's pretty cute. Oh, it's like an Aussie Chihuahua. It's not an Aussie. Why does it look like two toy Aussies? I have an Aussie. Fluck, I'm going to send you just pull up tactical tasks. Look, this is him. Oh, that's adorable. It's a cute little dog. It's a Chihuahua. Dude, he's doing more. Yeah, but it's got that hat. If he watches this, please let us know. There's got to be Aussie. There's got to be Aussie in there. Yeah. I hate Chihuahuas so much. I have.

I have one. Go off. Go off. Go off. Why? Why? Fluck. They're one speed away from both eyes going. Fluck motion. They used to be wolves and now this is where we're at. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you're right. So I have two Toy Australian Shepherds and I constantly be like, you used to be a wolf because one of them is heavy breathing as it's walking too far. Watch this walk. Ready? Yeah, that. Yeah. Watch.

He's got a small dog dude. Yes, I got Dylan. He's a tiny little chihuahua. He's like Yeah, gone. Yeah, if you if you shout too loud, he's like

He has PTSD like me. He was born with PTSD. That's the problem with him. They've inherited the trauma of they used to be wolves and now they're this. Do your Aussies do the Vietnam eyes? Constant. Constantly. Planes and flashbacks. They're wonderful, beautiful dogs. They're both insane.

Are the toy Aussies as smart as real Aussies? Like full? I'm not real Aussies, but like... One of them is. Yeah. Hey, this conversation feels too safe. How do we feel about pit bulls? Right? 60%. Isn't that crazy? Jesus Christ.

It's actually a true statistic. They can legit make up most of the violent dog deaths.

They're so nice! They're the baby spitting breed. A pit bull named Daisy eyeing your two-year-old across the park. One of my favorite memes is like, a child was drowning two miles from a sea. A pit bull swam two miles and bit Tash. Yeah. I'm saying, no shark's gonna get this one for me. They're so sweet.

Sweet until they're not yeah, do they kill you? That's actually really funny That's a great one Hey, Betty guess who's been making knives since 1974 Kershaw Blades these things are awesome if you're wondering how sharp are these blades look at this Santa hat

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This thing like opens up with the force of eight sons. It's like the force of eight. That's the only way to describe it. Also, if you manage to break one of these wonderful knives, they do offer free replacement parts. You just go to their website and fill out a parts request, whether it's springs or screws, whatever, maybe they will fix it.

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Be you be the best version of you what in the first shawl blade? I'm worrying They're both gonna get in there and they're gonna be like going at each other your narrator We're live filming an unsubscribe podcast right now. No, no, it's fine. Just interrupting everything we're doing right now. It's cool I'll tell you later I was just making

I see you didn't call me though. Oh, that is so cool. Oh, that's actually really cool. Is this nerd stuff? Okay, send me later. This is nerd stuff. This is nerd stuff. Yeah, he has a D&D room like myself. Dude, I saw your D&D room. It's badass. Yeah, I go hard and he's making one. He was making potions to fill out the space. Was that his real voice? Yeah. Oh my God. He sounds beautiful. Jesus Christ. What is that? Like Nordic or what? Like, what is he? He's a big YouTuber. He's a...

White boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy

Sorry. There's no knives in here. Wait, there might be one or two. No, they're not. Oh, they're empty? Yeah, we took the knives. Sorry, Kershaw. They put knives, box of knives on the table and there's no knives in here. We took the knives. Well, because there were fun knives to take. That's understandable. It's okay. You just calm down. I wanted the dopamine of like opening it up and being like, oh, what is this? You are the classic, like the guy in Discord though, where there's never not a...

You hear the sound and you hear the gunshot. You hear him dry firing 24-7. I'm a fidgety kind of fella, man. I like to do stuff with my hands. You got a revolver yet? I do have a revolver. That's my new fidget spinner. I got the single action. Mine was for about a year. The revolver? Yeah, I had a Kiapa, the Nebula Rhino, the pink one. What kind? Yeah, I got a 500. That's all I got. It's not fun to play with. Oh, it's heavy. It's heavy. And a 460, the hunting ones. Yeah.

What is your single action? It's like the reproduction of the cult single action army. So is your birdie Cimarron and Tom Thomas? So real quick, this is Eli's current hyper fixation. It's gone from like Metal Gear to Resident Evil to chess. It's currently single action revolvers. Yeah, I saw you spinning them. So he knows everything about them. I know, I know. I'm just really good at spinning them now. Did you see the guys doing the triple shot?

Yeah, yeah, two go. That's nuts man. That is crazy. Name a bunch of them right now. Editor, put it at thin. I wanna see that when I watch this back. When are you gonna do lever actions? When are you gonna do lever actions? Never. Why? I love my lever actions. Oh my god. This is what I care for. I wanna be able to twirl, side twirl, toss up. I can do tosses and catches. I'm learning back toss and catch right now. Have you ever seen the Mad Pig Customs?

No. He does those insane modern, like, M-LOK monolithic Picatinny suppressed, like, lever action guns. Yeah, that's what my...

Marlin dark is it's a mad pig no no no, but it's got all the tactical. Yeah I don't like the the new skill of my stock that's going on. I think he's Henry's I don't I like the woodstock a little more, but they have the wood stocks that also have like the cheek riser Their Bradley cheek rest makes yeah custom stocks for Marlins and Henry's nerds anime am I right so Yeah, man. I know

Is that your favorite bottle of Klava? The brand? No, just like in general, like comfiness, like...

I just wanna know about the balaclava more. When can we take it off? Okay, so, do you want the two-faceted answer? It's extremely painful. I'm getting asked two different questions. Okay, good. I'm gonna attack it too. So this is the brand Arcteryx. It's the best balaclava on the market. Okay. It is a leaf. The law enforcement armed forces one. So it's like fire retardant to some capacity, I think. It's fire retardant. In my opinion, it looks the best. So I have

I have the most balaclava time probably out of all the other gun guys. Maybe out of the world. - Except for Tactical Taz apparently. - Taz, he can suck it, okay? - Oh, when I say it, it's a problem! - Well, I mean, in reference to balaclavas. It's fine, he's doing dog stuff. So he's doing it doggy style, is what he would say in the biz. Now, as far as the unmasking goes, there is actually a script being written out. I have the plan in place. So it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen soon. And I'll even let you guys in on a little spoiler.

You can try. I even filmed my first episode. I'm ready, dude. I heard it coming. I even filmed my first episode already without the bald claw. No, you did not. No. I did. I didn't even know about that. Your Honor, I plead guilty. Wait, what? What gun was being used? Five guns.

With all... How many hands? You only have two hands. Get out of my hair, man. I can't say too much. That's fair. You don't want to ruin it. I get it. But the entire premise of the video is I filmed Five Guns with Demo Ranch. This is the one that Anna DeArmas came out and did with you. Yeah, Anna DeArmas came out and she kissed me. Anna DeArmas? It was like a friendly kiss, like on the cheek. I can fix that. That chick from... Like a friendly kiss. Have you never seen Blade Runner? The hologram chick? Wait, she was here?

No, I'm making a joke. I know. I know. I was like, first off, your wife was cool with that. Understandable. I mean, well, no, she wouldn't be. I don't think she'd be cool. She has one pass for you. Yeah. I would be like, the arms gave me a smooch. I'd be like, listen, sweetheart,

If you got like Henry Cavill come down, he's like, Hey, what's up? I wouldn't make out with him. Well, I mean like if he gave her a kiss, I'd be cool. Obviously we have a fucking cutout. Yeah. There's a cutout of Henry Cavill over there, man. He's looking, he's looking like a handsome fella.

Sorry Thanks, man. Oh, yeah, it actually involves your boss, so it should be pretty good. He's my boss daddy thumb. I'm ungovernable I guess it involves your bud Do not like do not like them when I say it like that

Do you not like boss? Yeah, do you not like the word boss? You know, we were friends. It's like he doesn't act like a boss. He acts more like a...

Good guy. So he's kind of like a cool boss. Yeah. But he's still your boss. Yeah. He's my boss. So just when we break it down. Really get down to the core of this issue. He could fire you tomorrow. You could lose your livelihood. Well, when you put it like that, he's certainly my boss. What?

Yeah, right, well we cleared the air on that one. Glad we did. And I would just go straight to Demo Ranch. Sorry David. I'm just kidding. Sorry David. I could go to Demo Ranch, but the quality doesn't change because he's like, "No, just keep using this." Here's a tripod. Here's a GoPro, good luck. Aw, dude. Why you cackling over there? Stop it. Little witch's cackle.

I'd start a group message and be like, I'm your free agent. Yeah, free agent. You'd be like, hey Scott, you want to fire your dad? I'll be your camera man. Hey Brandon, how's the lands doing? We got paper scissors? It's like, what about a better ginger? Everyone's camera man, right? So like, theoretically, if Micah did quit, I'd be good to go, right?

But theoretically I got really sick one day like was it feeling good like I like stuff yeah

Same salary who you're choosing. Oh my god what same salary who might choose? Yeah, they're both working for free who you picking Oh You know what I know Okay

Go which camera wins the best camera man. Oh, yeah, which one's a better? We know it's me That was so horrible

You're just saying cocky. You're not saying untrue. I gotta pick my boy Savio. I gotta pick my boy. Yeah. Loyalty. I told you to get out of here. I know. Can you go stand outside for a minute? I need you to stand out in the garage for a minute. No. So now that he's gone. No.

Now that he's gone, who are you paying? No, I knew it. Loyalty. He's got the loyalty. He does. I do love Micah, though. I love working with Micah. He's been on one of my episodes. He's a dear friend. We have a similar past being pastor's kids. A lot in common there, man. Yeah, wait. Why Savio?

You guys don't have anything in common! Dude, it's like, I'm not gonna put down my puppy right in front of you. He looks- he's better looking. He is better looking. He's a handsome fella. It's like you went to the fucking like pet store, you found the dog first, you're like, "Oh, okay." Then you go to the pet store like a week later, like, "I need to get food." There's a cuter dog. There's a cuter- Yeah.

But you already have the dog. You go home and you love it. You try to love it more. You're like, oh. You're the best. And then you go back and a couple weeks later and it's still there. And you're like, oh, yeah. Now you have two dogs. You drop it off on the woods. With one you clearly love more. You know what we should do? We should do a camera off. I was just going to say, I film one. Savio films one. I'll film.

I'll film one too. Winner takes admin. No, no audience just votes. I'll film one too. Audience votes? That's fucked up. I like audience voting. Now here's... Followers. Followers doesn't matter. No it does. I could totally tell them to vote...

For me, and it would work. But I wouldn't do that. No, I already know. We film the two different startings. We don't say who filmed which one. So it's a blind test. You do in the comments. It's like, hey, select A or B in the comments below on who is the better cinematographer. I think style. I think like filming style would immediately point out who's who's though. Mine is very distinguishable. Then I will join the competition.

Alright, that's the free agent. Yeah. Now here's another challenge. I'll be the free agent to toss it in there. This is not throughout. I'll join. I'll jump in. I'll be a cameraman too. I would like to do a... He just shows up with his iPhone. Hold on. It's all vertical. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. I think what we really need to do is a YouTuber cameraman boxing match. I would do that? Yeah, fuck you, David. And you're all going to get killed by Scott's dad. Oh, I didn't think about that. I'm out. I'm out. I'm not boxing Scott's dad. If Scott's dad is not in the equation, you guys should all be like, okay. Remember when we had that cameraman off? Like, oh, mine's the most attractive. No, mine's most attractive. And then Scott comes in and his dad's just like.

Dude, I'm 60. Oh my god. He was in his 60s. Oh, I know. Yeah. He wins. Oh, he's... Yeah. So we get Scott's dad off the tail. We actually asked to find a normal looking YouTube cameraman and maybe you guys got a chance. Yeah. I do like the idea of you guys doing like two different... That actually is pretty fun, yeah. Because if you had two different intros on the same weapon, because you get different directing styles too on how you guys...

Film it. Savio does the fast pace that he has good pacing. Very good pacing. Just quick, snappy, quick. I'm more like, you know, slow. Slow. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I'm going into details. Yeah. Yeah. I'm slow. You're slow.

I like this. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin. Green Goblin.

He's just like, dude. They're at work right now. It's just not good. It's not good at all. Why? That's my favorite. These are hardcore fans in like an overalls driving their stick shit pickup truck. You gotta listen to this part. We didn't go out with. He's got the tape cassette to Bluetooth for his fucking phone. I'm playing this truck.

That was probably the best meme of the year though. Eli, do you know this episode was brought to you by Manscaped? Eli? Looks like the carpet does match the drapes.

And what a great time, Batty, considering April is Testicular Cancer Awareness Month. You know what that means? Everybody's shave your junk? No, to help raise awareness and fundraise for a good cause. The leaders in Below the Ways Grooming partnered with the Testicular Cancer Society to remind you to check your golden nuggets this month for anything not so golden. His are golden, just red. And while you're down there...

Shave your balls while you save your balls. Support a good cause and go over to manscaped.com and use code unsub to get 20% off plus free shipping. Homies trim each other's balls. Eli, did you know one guy every hour, every day is diagnosed with testicular cancer? That's ball cancer. I did not know that. That's terrifying. This is a reminder for you and all you men out there.

Check your golden nuggets. Do you know how to check for ball cancer? Well, that's easy. When you're in that shower, get that water nice and warm. Give those little nuts a little play with. Who doesn't like playing with the balls? This guy. I like it. And if it hurts, go see a doctor. Or have your buddy do it. Together, we save balls.

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to their longtime partner, the Testicular Cancer Society, to help those impacted by testicular cancer. Get 20% off and free shipping when using code UNSUB at manscaped.com. I repeat, go to manscaped.com and use code UNSUB to get 20% off and free shipping. Make sure you go out there and tell your buddies to go check their balls or check them for them. Check your boys and check your boys' boys. Check your boys' boys. Check your boys' boys.

That's the new saying, it's just "Check your boys boys" Do you guys remember the John Cena memes? Oh yeah Where you'd watch like a- a six minute long thing and it's like "JOHN!" Anyways, so you finally get to the core of the universe and his name is JOHN CENA! Dude, I miss that. Dude, Mr. Cena has a great track record. Stop. What? We don't need that to come back. I want it to come back. We do not need that to come back. I'm gonna make a meme. He has a great track record of staying meme relevant.

I know actually what they're talking about. I hate it. No, I know what you're talking about. Eli just remembered something relevant. He's old. It takes him a second. He's kind of excited because he's like, I know that reference. I can fit in.

Wait, Eli, who are you? I start walking off afraid. Yeah. Dementia's kicked in already. He's 37. Oh, no. 38, Matty. You're 38? Yeah. God damn, you're so old. I forgot.

Everyone's young. Weren't you born in the 70s or something? Almost. It hurts. Oh, man. I was going to say, you guys, speaking of memes, that's one I think that's what separates you guys. What separates them from everyone else? It's like both of your channels are completely different because how much you meme, like,

Look at your fucking you how you do your Instagram how you do your stories and this is grant thumbs You have a big part of that how you film stuff how you do everything like it is fucking dope and it Relevant I always compare you two guys to donut media on how you keep relevant with meme con. Yeah, thank you Why we've talked about their chest don't I mean why do we do? They're so good. You want to know why? Yeah, they want to know why there is a why the why is cuz I'm kind of retarded. Oh

The why is because like times change and if you don't change with the times and you'll fall out of relevancy That's very true. This is a starkly different answer. Well, his answer is way way more serious And we're also returning Alex Jones on you guys ever get Alex you reach Oh God if you know

It would be the weirdest thing ever. We just end up blind casting Instagram stories. He's here. Go away. Oh, boys, there's intermissional lizards going out there. I've seen them at the Congress building. They have a little warming lamp on the steps. They get out there. They're out there with little lizard warming lamps. They're on the steps looking up. You have to watch out. You got to step over them or else you step on her tail. Nancy Pelosi's going to slither off. She just threw a new one.

People don't believe me when I say it, but you know it. Was that improv? No, that was not improv. I mean, it's been like some material, but it's for the most part. Okay, okay. It's like one of my favorite photos when he's like, I drink these products. It's like the abs. It's just my favorite. Better abs.

Like Alex Jones episode I've never I just even relevant in the media and that's yeah the memes are I like watching on the Joe Rogan podcast It's like a normal dude who's like the the classic dude that's into everything and then you have you know a

The exact opposite. The far fringe of like, he called 9-11, dude. You know what I mean? Like, that's a good show. I would 100% have him on. Batty would love every second. I'd be here for it. I'd be upset about it, but I would be here for it. I'd have my deck of cards. I was like, I got questions, bro. Mr. Jones. Frogs, why are they gay? Who's the most, like, famous person you guys have had on the podcast? Goldberg. Who? Bill Goldberg. The Goldberg. Goldberg the wrestler? Oh, my God. You are so young.

I wasn't allowed to watch WWE. It's not WWE. First it was WWF, but... When he was growing up, it was WWE. You know Goldberg. When you were growing up, it was WWE. You don't know Goldberg either? We're 26 and 27, dude. What the fuck are these...

Nice pasture children doing! I'm sorry guys. You two are fucking stupid. I'm sorry guys. Wait, hold the fuck on. No, you're gonna show them a picture of a half naked dude like that's gonna help? No, just this 2.6 million followers fucking Goldberg! Oh, that guy!

Oh my god, Goldberg! Yeah! You don't know who he is, do you? No, yeah, no, I've seen Goldberg. Stop it, fuck you. No, yeah, no. I feel like if you own a truck dealership, he's been on your commercial. Like, trucks, trucks, and more trucks. Can you text Goldberg and tell him to beat up Micah? Right now. I'll be like, these two... I will 1v1 Goldberg in Airsoft. No!

He would beat you to death with the airsoft gun. He'd just like, he'd spear you and then jackhammer. Yeah. I fought Chuck Liddell before. How'd it go? In the paintball arena. It went great. He's a big target. Yeah.

He's a big target, man. He's a big chocolate dough. If he had to use his fists, I'd be dead, man. Big shoulders, tiny legs. I'd be so dead if we actually fought. But no, paintball was anybody's game. I got fucking murdered. Wait, I don't know how you guys... What weren't you allowed to watch? Dude, remember last podcast? I was like, I had to... No, I don't. I had to mute the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater soundtrack.

Even food. Yeah, yeah. So when my parents would go out and I could hear the Mighty Mighty Boss and it was the impression that I get, I'd be like, I'd be jamming out. That's such a tame song. I know. I'd be jamming out. Blitzkrieg pop. And I'd be like, oh, oh. And then I'd hear the lawnmower shut off. I could like speed run to mute the audio in that game. And it's just like.

Well, so if it wasn't a Christian song, it was a devil song. Naturally. That was, that was devil song. Yeah. Was that for you too? Are they still? Kind of, you know. Yes. In fact, even, uh, do you remember Toby Mac? Like, like a little more edgy Christian music? Yeah. Still no. Real? No. Even if it sounded not like worship music, devil music. Were you allowed to master bank? No.

I never asked for permission. Freeman, don't ask for permission. Come and take it. But if I had to guess, no. You were the guy that did this. You were like this. The Jesus picture in the house, you're like, you turned it away and laid it down. You're like, Eli, were you allowed to masturbate? I didn't feel guilty about it. Mother, father, I've come to permission to spill my seed into a sock.

May I have your blessing please? May I have your blessing? Like, could you imagine being like, "Mom, so I found out about this thing, and I'm really curious, do I have your permission to do this?" And you're just like, "Can I stroke my dick?" And then this one: "The belly of a whore!" And you're like, "I'm sorry!" Yeah. No. But I know the answer is no. No. No. I would not have been allowed to. It feels like a no-go, man.

- I feel like on the list of if kind of edgy rock was a no-go, I feel like jerking it's kind of like-- - J.O.ing. - Hell. You're going to hell. - You're gonna ignite as soon as you finish. - Yes.

When did you stop feeling guilty about it? When did your Christian guilt end? I hate this podcast so much. Never. It never leaves. I feel like even if you, even if, I'm not even going there. I'm just not even going there. Hey. Repent. Turn to Christ. Porn is cringe. Based. Based.

That's my final statements on that topic. There's no way you've ever watched it and immediately afterwards gone like, yeah, that felt... Yup. A plus. Good job, Batty. You had to have gone like, I went so deep down that rabbit hole. How did I get here? How deep are you going in your rabbit hole? Where is your rabbit hole? Those are two chicks fucking each other. Yeah, I'm okay with that. If you're walking away with shame at this point, what are you watching? Like,

I'm sorry. I don't want... No, it's you. Listen. After I saw two girls, one cup for the first time, I was like... You're just like... Maybe I'm not going to Google it. Maybe I crossed a line. That was a line. That feels a little weird. I just pictured you doing this. You're like... Forgive me, Father Prime. There you go.

I have sinned against you. No. Don't say no like that. No. Now I don't want to know your search history. No. Porn is bad. I don't want to know your search history. I don't watch porn. At all? No. No.

Yeah, we're not going on to that. I don't. It's good, man. Porn's great, man. I would encourage, like, listen, if you're a grown man, I can't stop you. But I think, like, I've kind of grown to that path of I think it's not good for the male monkey brain to have access to unlimited sexual gratification. I'm guilty of watching it, that's for sure, if I'm being real. But I think you've got to, like...

You got to be like, hey, man, after a certain point, it just ruins relationships for me personally. And it's not good for you. And it's not like it's got. Oh, my God. Is this unsubbed podcast ever gone this deep and serious? I actually enjoy this. So actually what you're talking about, and I will double down on what Adam says. I'm not a big porn watcher. I don't give a shit about it. Jerk off all you want.

- You jerk off. - So I gotta do it, somebody's gotta say it. - J-O, that's right, he's gotta say J-O. - It actually has a negative effect if you're in a healthy relationship, a healthy sexual relationship. It makes it a, was it, an ex,

are higher. And because of that, you have problems with that. And you, you have these expectations going on with your partner. So it's a negative effect because of porn. And they found that study. And that's why we have a higher chance of erectile dysfunction later in life. Oh yes. Now I have ED. Or, or,

Or use it as an experience to share with your partner. Well, you can do both, but again, that is a very rare thing. Most individuals are looking at porn to just quick. I disagree with you.

You disagree that most people are watching porn? No, I disagree with the negative connotations. Okay. No, that's like scientific studies. Yeah, no, it's totally scientific studies. Psychological studies? Yeah, totally, totally. Hey, can you ask him to cite the studies? No, because he'll try. Or is he just saying scientific studies? No, he already knows. That's why you like this. Now he's trying to Google it. He's really good at...

- If I have learned something-- - Eli's a therapist. - Okay. - I know this shit to a T on how steady he's breaking down. This is one thing where I'm like, okay, this is where the-- - This is like the angel and the demon. - This is like, do it, do it, do it. - I will say, man, I--

Listen, I can't stop you if you're a grown man, right? But my thing personally, like not even religiously speaking, I think it just makes sex 20,000 times better. Like women, normal women that like you would think that aren't that pretty because you're drinking it to all these supermodels that are getting naked on the internet, they look beautiful, right? It's like the female figure is becoming so much more attractive when you're not cranking it to like a bunch of pixels on the screen, so...

It's a very crude thought I'm trying to put out there and it's rather serious. What he's saying is J-O to some twos. Right? Is that hentai? Is that okay? Ugly moms in your area. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I'm gonna die, I'm gonna go to heaven one day, guys will be like, hey, dude, what happened to that unsubscribe podcast? People don't remember him. Two episodes ago. He's like, hey, we were about to let you in, but we watched this and it was a no-go. Remember that talk your mom had with you? Yeah, that was me. I initiated that talk. There's a reason she Googled it. And then you doubled down, admin. You doubled down. You went back on. You forgot what you said? Yeah.

Like I'm happily married Those guys are assholes where are they? They're inside already. They died long ago. Oh, that's right. I forgot because they were so old man.

We're waving this and you down. You're like, what the fuck? Come in. Come in. So the Hentai thing was like, yeah, you're good, dude. What's the Walking Dead? You think you know the rules? You think you know the way ahead? Who is that? Who is that? Who is that? Who is that?

Oh wow, you guys are- Inside jokes. Yeah, 100%. No, not funny to anyone. Not funny. But we enjoyed it. You guys hung out for a little bit. Yeah, man. Every mattress has a 20 year warranty. Some- Stop it. Even has 25. And you can try it out for 101.9.

If you don't like it, you can send it back. How do you put up with him? Do you tune him out like your child? One of my favorite parts about Ghostbed is that mattress has cooling technology in it. So you don't get hot at night. Unless you're Batty. You can tell he sweats. Do you sweat, Batty?

Does the cooling technology help that? Batty, wrong camera. GhostBed also offers bundles. It's kind of like SANA. Still going, Seth. GhostBed.com is having a 30% off if you use code UNSUB right now or to go to www.ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe and get your 30% off on your new cooling technologically advanced mattress.

betting technology betting technology also i would just like to formally apologize about the superman and the witcher thing we love you we love you what is this we love you we're doing ad reads it's not a podcast this isn't an ad read are you looking at me you i'm looking at you

Let me see. Use code unsubscribe over at ghostbed.com, guys. No, you guys actually hang out. How often do you guys? For living in multiple states away, a lot. The crew gets together quite a bit, man. A lot. Yeah. Probably at least, I was going to say four times, but way more than four times a year. Yeah.

That's kind of crazy four times a year four times a year though. It's like weeks like you're like a like family most of the time Yeah, it's crazy. Admin is family. It's family. I make YouTube videos with family

I'm sorry if it's breaking. This is a double down. You guys showed up. I was like, we were filming the last podcast. I'm being an asshole on the phone because I'm ordering food. I was over here playing chess and he's texting me in the middle of the podcast. It was impressive, man. I'm like, hey, your chicken's on the way. Just being mom, Eli. I'm like, hey, kids. Eight more minutes. Chicken's on the way. Thanks, mom. You'd be a great mom, dude. Thank you. Eli is a great mom. No, he is. He absolutely is. Every time we have guests over, Eli's like, what can I get?

Can I get you to drink? Do you want ice? No ice. Tall cup, short cup. How about a white claw? Oh, no. How about some juice? That is true. You're very accommodating. Very accommodating. Almost to the point where I'm like, it's like too accommodating. I feel bad. Wifey material. Oh, a thousand percent. I'd wife him up, dude. That's our next shirt. It's going to be Eli's face and it's going to say wifey. I'm a wifey. I'm so hard. Go talk to him.

Gortonga! You will be my wife! You- Wait, Adam, the last time you were here was at my old house! We didn't have a studio yet, right? No, no, no, yeah. I saw your lizards. Yeah, you saw my lizards? That's right! I showed you my lizards. Please respond. Please respond. They were beautiful. I said, well- What a beautiful lizard! Choose your booze. We're doing a shot. Oh, okay. I got your cup over here. How do you drink to that? I don't. No, like water? It stays on.

You wanna do a shot? I can't. Why? I'm on a fast boils. Oh, would you like a shot of water? Um, yeah. Yeah, I mean out of- Yeah, here's a shot of water. Perfect. Hey Savio. Bad at the vodka. He's got water. Oh, I know you wanted more. Fuck! Oh, I'll just- You have vodka or whiskey? Where'd that come from? Vodka or whiskey? Uh, whiskey. Yeah, whiskey. Are you yelling at me? You got your own bottle of two- I forgot I had my vodka. My vodka. Um. This one? Sure. Your blood oath? That's good. That's real good. That's bourbon. Yeah.

But only if we all take this Kershaw knife out and like do a blood oath. Oh, Batty, let me see that one. Ooh, that smells nice. That's a good smell. Do you want one that- Would you do a blood oath with me? Yes, I have a ginger. You would do a blood oath with me? Micah. Damn. We're gingers. We are bonded in soullessness. We already are bonded by blood. Absolutely. 100%. All gingers are related. Everybody knows that. We're on a fast. Can I call her? No, it's after. Yeah, you want to ask? Honestly.

Oh my God, yes. Maybe she'll break the fast too right now. We can do it together. I will talk to her and I'll be the sweetest boy in the world. He smelled it for like two seconds. Hey babe, I'm on a podcast right now. They're all drinking. Can we break our fast? This is Eli. I'm the one asking. He's actually doing a very good job. But I am the asshole friend. You are amazing. He speaks nothing but praises. And that's why he's holding to this. And I'm like, God dang it. How can we make it where you can break the fast and he can break the fast?

That's there. Oh, that's there. Oh, my God. That's impressive. That's not the no, the yes. That's the perfect in the middle outcome that everyone wants. Now I see why he sings your praises. First off, holy crap. Wow. Babe, you're an impressive woman. You know that? Hello? Oh, my God. You are lucky. Holy crap. All right, sweetheart. Who are we getting a hot tub with? Hang on.

She's like you break your fast, I break mine. I don't know, tell him I say hi. I love you, bud. You gotta stay a little crazy with your lady, you know what I'm saying? If you're getting too soft on her, like, oh yeah, do whatever you want, she's not, like, they don't like that. You gotta stay a little crazy on her, like, who you seeing, who you talking to, where you going? What are you doing? What are you doing? That and a morning star flail. Don't put those two together.

It's kind of fun to play with, right? It is kind of fun. I know, that's why I hated you. I figured you, if anybody, would enjoy it. Oh, thank God, dude. This fast has been a coker man and I do enjoy me some whiskey, so. Hey! And that, the bourbon, is that the blood oath? Oh, is this bourbon or is this whiskey? That's the other one. This is the blood, I got the blood oath? The blood oath is so good. What do I got here? Blood oath. Okay. You're good? Oh, dude. Oof. That's smooth. See, I like that one. Yeah, that's some bourbon. Jesus! I need a straw.

Do we have straws? It's like the Doom Slayer songs playing in my head. What's the Alcoa to the Western front? He's been released. He is free to drink. You did not.

Micah for the straw. That straw has been inside tea since the last podcast. It's washed. What the frick? Is there bacterial microbes in there, bro? Oh, a thousand percent. It's washed. You just ran it under the sink for two seconds. He just rinsed it right. That's what I did in Iraq and it worked fine. That's what I did in Iraq. It's fine. I'm going to be the first receiver of corniceps. Yeah, the burn pits are great for IBS. IBS? From the burn pits? No, that's my cancer. IBS.

Don't you have one with a hole in the middle? I do, but this is more on brand one. That's my Russian one. Hey, when are you going to do administrative results about clavas? I feel like that... Oh, yeah, that's a great question, man. So the issue is...

The material that I want to make it as perfect as I can. I could do a balaclava, but the problem is I want them to look like this. They would kind of suck, right? If you get them now, yeah. Have you hit up Arcteryx? I have not, and I highly doubt Arcteryx wants to work with me, dude. Did they know that you'll sell at least a hundred of them? You need more than a hundred. I'm joking. I was going to say. I was like, inventory-wise, it's a business. They sell like 4,000 every time they restock.

I'm going to put this down. One drink later. I knew he'd like that. I'm a terrible influence. You just got your wife on the phone and broke your fast. We had a good conversation. Hey, when can we do a hot tub podcast? Can we buy hot stuff for the podcast house? Yeah. The business expense. Well, since I suggested it. You want to be here for the hot tub? Yeah, I want to be here for the hot tub podcast. Yeah, I'm done. We can do like a ginger segment. If you guys actually buy a hot tub, I will start...

I will go from 205 pounds to 170 pounds by the time the hot tub's here. Wait, for real? Yeah. Well, I'll try.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

That, yeah, I could replace food with White Claw. I mean, I did for years. Did it work? It worked great. Went from 290 down to like 230. Yeah. Really? Oh, I'll try that. I got off of alcohol for... Depression and White Claw, I'm telling you, man. Don't sleep. Don't sleep. Don't sleep. Called the baddie diet. I don't drink much at all. Other than podcasts is the only time I drink. But now I'm like, oh, my...

Fuckin' I'm like, oh yeah those are back and I have my everything else is back. If I stop drinking I can probably lose weight immediately. Why would you stop though? It's so boring. It's how I cope.

Same! It is boring, but on this fast, it's- God, it sounds so pretentious, dude. I feel like I dropped weight like, boop, like that. Really? Two weeks without booze, you will fucking shred. Yeah, I'm feeling great. Yeah, shred. Remember that, all you big old boys, in just two weeks? Shredded! That works. Even flow. You already have to kind of be in decent shape. I've stayed in okay shape. Yeah, you- Oh, fuck you! Eli, what did you do before you were a content creator?

Don't say the military. What'd you do between the military and Black Rifle? What did you do? Oh, personal trainer! Yeah, that's good. And what have you done every fucking day since then? Boxing and MMA working out. Fuck. You haven't cut it, dude.

even do some shit. Fuck you. Bro, you can't bitch. 315. I haven't been to a gym since 2017. Fuck off. Mike tried to get me to go to the gym with him. I went there for like a month, but every day he'd be like, all right, pull-ups. And I'm like, fuck pull-ups. And then he'd be like, all right, more pull-ups. And we do a set of something else. All right, back to pull-ups. And he's a military guy. So he just, this dude just cranking. I'll double down on that. Mike does a lot of

pull-ups. He does. Whenever we work out, he's all about the pull-ups. I'm like, Mike, I'm like 230, man. After a while, the pull-ups catch up to me. No, dude. I couldn't even do one, so I look like a bitch because Mike's holding the bottom of my legs. Oh, he's doing the laser doing.

Oh

I can do one handed pull-up. Am I that weak? Like, did you get one handed or did you do like the... Oh, see, I was saying, I've been able to, I've done this bullshit before, but I also used to be in decent shape and then depression. That's really impressive. But that was at 160. Yeah, you got the two sides of the depression weight. You got the weight gain and the weight loss. The last time I was 160, wait, what? At 170, I could bench 340. That's a very great ratio. Yeah, I was like, well, hold on.

Squat. I was always at that. How tall are you? 5'8". 5'8". At 170, you can bench 340. That's really good. If you don't lift a lot, those are great metrics. Those are awesome. If you had no concept, that's what I'm saying. He lifts a lot. I feel like you can squat a lot. Actually... Oh, my God.

I got nice thick thighs. You're a tree trunk. Can you squat a lot? I haven't squatted a lot. I now go for reps. The other day, I worked up to 275 for five. Then I was like, all right, I'm bored. I did 100 reps of 135. I was doing 100 rep days. That's how you don't walk the next day. It wasn't that bad. 100 reps on just squat. Then I did 100 reps on leg extensions. Some days I have to walk up and down my stairs.

Twice. I don't have stairs. Oh, I do now. How do you just remember that? It's a home gym! That's right. Because I live in Mike's old house. And so I lived in my old house for three years and I'm like used to a one-story house and now, yeah. Wait, okay. You're twitching now. I'm twitching. We're calling it twitching. You're twitching. I'm old. Twitch streaming. What game have you been doing? Uh,

Dude, I hop back on that Halo Reach grind, dude. We actually did a live stream where he lost a Halo game, and it was not pretty. I got a little too mad for no reason, if I'm being honest. Did you break your control? No. Are you a rage gamer? No, no, no. But Halo is... No, no. This man in Halo is disgusting. It's actually like nobody really wants to play with him. Yeah, to be fair, they don't play enough, and I've been grinding out playing, and we were playing SWAT on Asylum. Oh, SWAT is so good.

I had a lot of your teammates. It's bad teammates. It was bad. He had Charlie. He had Charlie. Charlie's like eating french fries. I'm like still trying to like pull the team and Charlie's getting like five kills. I got like 15. You're a sweaty player. I'm a sweaty and I'm playing against two confident players. And listen, I love Charles, but I'm not like, dude, this is how I have fun, dude. It's like getting sweaty on Halo on like a Tuesday night. Like you gotta like give this thing to me.

And so then Joe was talking trash. I got a little mad at Joe. I'm sorry, Joe. And then we won the one and I kind of mopped the floor with him when I didn't have any dead weight. Did you?

You did win. I won pretty hard. Yeah. I won. Okay, now we got to play. Well, we have a Twitch tournament coming up. I'm coming. Garantham, administrative results, Joe, Charles. We have a whole SWAT tournament. Can I come? Yeah, you want to be in it? Oh, yeah. It's like done. It'll be really fun. SWAT tournament. You want to be in it? I got to like not be as aggro. No, be aggro. Do we play? I haven't played Halo in two years. That's kind of how all of us are but him. I'll get second place. All right.

You probably will. I will. I'm a guy playing Halo. You're an FPS gamer too. Yeah. I can do FPS. That's fine. Especially with COD. I'm kidding. Do you remember the Call of Duty tournament we did? Oh, yeah. I haven't played Call of Duty in years, dude.

I flexed. I'm also a PC gamer though. I'm ready. I'm excited. I hit LEM and Counter Strike. I'm more playing these guys and they never play. Sorry. You are. We always play. You only play weird games. Now I'm feeling it. Now I'm in. You play two games. Did you ever play Splitgate? No. It's Halo and Portal mixed. Yeah. It's literally. It's like they literally took everything that is Halo. That game kind of went like whoop. That would be fun.

- Yeah, RipRate. - 'Cause it's a beta still. - Oh, okay. - So they were like, "Oh, open access, everyone check it out." And then they didn't have any events. - I heard it was good. - It was great. It was unbelievable. - Yeah. Rage gaming is, because we play, I play with only sweaties for golf. - Yeah. - For Warzone, I have a team that is, we're in the high elo. Like it's diamond elo, we are running the best when you join our servers.

And then it's so weird when we have, Crispy, I love you. You're my boy. You're trash at video games, Crispy. Burn ass Crispy fingers are terrible. It's these fingers, dude. Get some value. Nah, help your skills. So Crispy, when he joins our ELO, he's like, what the fuck, bros? I am getting shot everywhere. Like everywhere.

Everywhere I'm going, I just get nothing. Are you doing like a bad Mexican accent right now? Okay, there we go. I actually got a man in one as well. See? Oh my God, Jesus Christ. My wife's like half Mexican, man. I can get away with it. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I'm in a, I'm in a, I'm, you know, I'm, because I, I'm like part Mexican now because I'm into Mexican so often, dude. You know what I'm saying? What? Kid!

What did he just say? He's in a Mexican so often. It's okay. And I give him a pass every day for any accent he wants. Gracias, mi amigo. And he speaks more Spanish than me.

But no, like, Crispy, it's- It's bad at games. Well, it's poor at games. They're like, I've got dubs. They join our ELO, and they're like, I cannot compete at this level. And it's just- Then it's an- You're just like, oh my god, I gotta rest you. Dude, yeah. I'm wasting my money on you. You can just use it as kind of like bait. Run out there, and then you just look where the gunfire is, and you're like, Mounted got teams wiped. He's dead. It's four more thousand dollars. Do we do it? Yeah, we have to res him? Okay.

So my wife has been like, she's the classic wife where it's like hanging out is just watching Netflix. Right? I love that though. I hate it. Anyway, so she has conformed. We got her a PC and so she is now a PC gamer. No, that's cool. No, no, no. Can you guess what game she plays? Minecraft or Sims? No, no, it's an FPS.

Come on. Oh, that's fair. I was going to say Valorant. Oh, Valorant. Every other lobby has girls in it. I would not say Valorant. Anyway, so I've been playing Valorant. Valorant can get real sweaty. So I've been playing Valorant. I was LEM in Counter-Strike.

So I'm like Diamond, Valorant, she's like Iron, and we are somewhere in the middle, so it's not fun for me, not fun for her. That's kind of where we're at. Everyone's having a bad time. You gotta find a game that's not multiplayer like that. Yeah. Play Minecraft. Honestly, yeah. Play Minecraft. Or 5.9. Yeah.

Apex doesn't feel as sweaty. Apex doesn't feel as sweaty. Yeah. My girlfriend is phenomenal at Apex. The audience retention on this conversation dipped off for me. We just had a...

What was it you guys are giggling well, we were like a single girls, I'm in Valorant Honestly that is an e gaming like dating sim it is awful. Hey, I got some 510 abs Bitch 340 as you say

Any bitches out there? Any girls wanna Omegle? Oh, no! Nine-inch cog, bro. I'm 16, nine-inch cog. What the fuck? My phone lags. Centimeters, dude.

Remember the did you guys ever do the Omegle days? Yeah, yeah, I was wondering that I remember chat roulette back in the day anymore Is there anything I know a meal still is just oh, yeah, I see it on tick-tock all yeah chat roulette seen many of titties So many dicks now so many days already more dicks than titties. Oh, yeah We're talking like 200 to one right? Yeah, more than that even maybe oh

Honestly, probably more. Yeah. Yeah, it was a long it's tough being a dude We know we recently went on Omegle drunk and there were no dicks I think that they did something because oh dude like a month ago There was no dicks out of like three four hundred people. Yeah, and I am dead serious. They did something

God knows what? No dicks. Probably like a dick chat room. There has to be some kind of moderation on there now. No, I forgot. So me and my girl, she went on Migo. We did a video about this. She would be on camera, and she was wearing a very busty outfit. Is this the good old bait and switch? A bait and switch outfit, and she was just having a... Oh, no. Here we go. But you got to see the guys react. What if you get somebody who knows you on Sub Podcast? What's up? And then... Oh, there's somebody. Hey.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

British or Indian guy they like see my girl on there and she's like thousand percent is like they were like hi

Can I show you something? And she was like, yeah, of course. And he started reenacting this because it's great. And he's like, you want me to continue sexy dancing for you? And I was like, babe, say yes. Say fucking yes right now. So he's like, you flashed his butt? You want more? You want more butt? And I was like, babe, say yes right now. And she was like, uh-huh. And he's like,

But... And he's like, and he danced with his butt out. And he turned back, and he's like, you like that? And then this is all they've seen on that camera. It was just like this. You've just seen this. Viewer has image.

Oh, Patel, we're sorry, dawg. And trauma. Now he's got trauma. There it is. Oh, man. It's like these dudes just discovered the internet. Like, what are you thinking, man? That just, you don't get away. No one wants to see you. You're gonna get some beautiful girl on there that wants to see your ass? What are you...

Why are you going to start with your ass? Yeah, why is a dude, are you thinking like, oh, this chick won't see my ass, dude? Is it hairy? I don't remember. It was brown. Oh, yeah, he was Indian then. I was like, British or Indian? I just remembered a brown ass. I was like, he was Indian. And it was...

glorious his reaction and then that media was like I fuck because when we get on the internet especially here we're just like I don't trust this person yeah I'm gonna end it right and a lot of dudes they would see Sav pop up and like

Next year. They would next it? Yeah, most of the dudes are like, uh-uh. It's like that, like, no. You're a dude? No. There are no girls on the internet. You're a dude? If she's not a three, next, because this is bait. Yeah, it is. Like, if she's not a three, we gotta move on. That is a video. That's a man. That's a fed. Yeah, she's gonna ask me how much fertilizer I have in the garage. I know how. I've been through this before. Oh, you think you're gonna get me again?

I've seen your playbook. I've read your rules. When's this tournament going down? Like, so I'll be in Idaho next week, the week after. So it'll be like Friday, not this Friday or next Friday, the Friday after. PC or controller, you do you. Controllers are going to take it. Controller has an advantage. Absolutely. On Halo specifically, controllers have an advantage. I mean, it's any game with a controller at this point has an advantage. No.

Imagine playing CSGO or Valorant on a controller. Neither of those games are controller native though. Halo Infinite what we've seen was Halo Infinite is the biggest thing. On the world tournament they

They seen 95% players at that level use controller because of the aim assist. It's not just Halo. It's any console native game that's been boarded to PC. Oh, Warzone. I know when I'm playing a Warzone. I know when I'm playing a controller player because it's like this...

- I'm like, oh, they're not missing. - So Destiny 2 has a huge issue right now where all the major pro players that are like PVP gods are using things called Xen or Chronos controllers. - It says it's a controller, but it's mouse and keys. - It's mouse and keys. - Do they also get Amazist? - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - On mouse and keys? - It's an accessibility thing. It's meant for people who have some sort of a disability or something who can't play on a normal mouse and keyboard. So it's a controller set up

That's a mouse and keyboard. What's it called? We have this tournament coming up. It has nothing to do with the tournament. I'm not going to use it. But what's it called? It's Cronus or Zim. Micah's really good. I am. But it's just a mouse and keyboard with added aim assist of controllers. That's insane. I will say Cronus is way worse. Oh, I mean, Call of Duty, they're all banned at this point, I believe. They're not. That's the problem. No, I'm pretty...

On tournament level. Yes, tournament level they are. But normal. It's the same thing with Destiny, though. So Cronus, you can program in, hey, adjust for recoil. Recoil, yeah. Yeah. So as you're firing, the recoil is going up, it auto... It knows exactly. It's like, okay, it's like... I know when I'm playing. That's just cheats. Bro, what's the point, man? That's just cheating. What's the point? That's not even... That's not like a port or like a... It's not fun. Well, I bet it's a thing, but everyone's like, no, man, it's...

It's because I learned how to do it. I want to see their body type. I want to see their body type. Because if you are running a Cronus, honestly, post physique, I want to see if you are actually fit and you have the discipline to handle life. If you don't, chances are, if you're running a Cronus from the sound of it, a lot of cod gamers are just yoked for some reason. I mean, yeah, there's those guys. New gamers are not all fat,

pieces of shit anymore. I know, I know. Listen, I love video games. I love to work out. Listen, the two aren't usually exclusive, but when dudes are gaming the system and cheating pretty much like that, I think it's a lack of character and a lack of morals. That's a new shirt. Let me see your body type.

Just post physique. Post physique. Have you guys used that yet? Oh, yeah. All the time. Is that merch? Not yet. I called it. I'll give you... That's why I'm like, why isn't that merch? That is a good-ass piece of merch. Post physique, dude. You know that picture of you going like...

Yeah. And you just massive. You should do that. He always looks massive. Yeah. Always looks massive. Look at him. When you see like Houston is a prime example. That's my favorite nerd where he's a mega hyper like anime video game nerd. He surprised me with that. And he is impressive.

We were driving here and he was like, well, like anime. So I'm like, I'm like, shut the fuck up. Wait, holy shit. Not a lot of talk right now. When we were at the bar, he started talking about anime. He's like, yeah, on this episode, you're on Naruto. Okay, I'm finished. Dude, he watched all of Naruto. And I'm like, Houston. Like, my God. Wait, have you guys not watched all of Naruto? No, I just, I just finished. Just finished like a week ago.

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That's fine. You're, are you getting into super anime yet? No, I'm not. You should. I can't. It'd be like me. It's like Stolen Valor, but for anime. I can't do that, man. You can't. I mean, why not? Jump in late. I jumped in late. I jumped in late. It'd be like me saying like, oh yeah, I'm watching anime like right now. If I were like, do it. But why can't you? I'll give you a pass. No, no, no. Like I'd be lying right now. He's Asian. He'll give you a pass. Oh, thanks dude. Oh my God. We got the end. End.

Admin result. Admin result. As he just said, he is now accessible to the anime. Wait, Japanese. Admin result. There are anime. Lean this way. Lean this way. You don't want to be on that. Lean this way. There are anime incompatibilities, and I think

Admin here might be one. Really? Just like Michael, Mike and Grantham, whatever. Who? I don't know. Incompatible. Incompatible. Like just oil and water. I agree with that. There are some people that just can't do anime. No. I did anime as a kid and then I stopped. There was like a five year period. I was like, nah, anime is for fucking weebs. Gross. I got into it when there was nothing else to watch and I was like, this is fire. Then I got a divorce and now it's all in Adlib.

I was in sixth grade, I was like, "This is dope," and everyone was like, "You're stupid." And now it's cool. It is cool to be a weeb now. It really is. It really is. Absolutely. It used to be like, you have to hide the fact you watch Naruto, and now it's like, "Oh, yeah, Naruto." To be fair, they were also wearing the headbands and making out in the cafeteria. That was-- They made everyone look bad. They made everyone look bad. Yeah, once the hot goth mommies got involved, everyone was like, "Oh, anime?"

Oh, yeah. True. I like anime. True. I'll talk about anime to you. Yeah. There was, yeah, there's a few number of girls. There was old weebs and then there's current weebs. And the old, the old guard, if you will, was very different. Yes. Then the girls started coming in and was like, cosplay? Yeah.

And then people are like, "Man, anime is a fucking joke." "I love fucking... ...Pookie-mans." "This is some sweet Pokeballs on your chest." Dude, I did watch this one episode of Naruto. It was, um, you know, a senior year in high school. I'd watch the weird kids Naruto run to the cafeteria to be first in line. I wish that was a joke, but I've seen it too, yeah. Yeah, my favorite episode. I watch it in real life every day on the way to lunch. Man, I'm still disappointed in you. I know you watch this.

He used to wear the headband and Naruto run all the time. No, no. It's just a buddy of mine that watches this occasionally. You were weird. Stop it. Dude, I guarantee you when I was a teenager, I would do fucking Super Saiyan charges. I guarantee you in middle school, I was like, hey! That video of the guy who's like, if you unlock your mind, you can be Super Saiyan. Remember that video? And the guy sits there in his living room. He's like, oh!

Ah, like veins bulging. It's like, my name is blah, blah, blah. I am super saying. Yes. Yes. That's my guy. I hate, I know the exact. And he's like, literally his eyes are rolling in the back of his head. He's like,

I've never seen this. Oh my god. Yeah, he's like, my name is Jonathan and I am a superman. You know he looks back on that and he's like, damn. That lives on the internet forever. It's like Jedi Kid. Jedi Kid got bullied into it. I love he has the very first viral video. The very first viral video is Jedi Kid. Do you know Jedi Kid?

Oh my God. Do you know Jedi kid? Yeah. Oh yeah. He was on touch point. I wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. He was. Yep. He actually show up the big one. Yeah. The big fat guy who falls over. Yeah. He's speaking. Give the context. What's the background of the story? It's like he was in high school. Does he fall over the trash backwards? No, no. So Jedi airsoft fatty. Yeah. Airsoft. Yes. Yeah. Which Lee, uh, not Leon Houston did a video with him. Yeah. So, um, Jedi kid was the very first viral video who is in his, uh, music band cap, uh,

And then he had just a normal, not a saber. What was it called? It was like a staff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you have like him walking. No, he got baited into it was the whole. No. So he recorded this without knowing, knowing. So this is what happened. He recorded. That's why he's like, he walks in. He's like, and his leg fucking flails out. The leg. And then he does. And then it's like, huh?

Yeah. And he's like swinging his saber. Duel the Fates is the greatest song ever written. He didn't delete the footage on the memory card. Someone else got it and then uploaded it to the internet.

That is why he deleted a, he just disappeared from the internet in general after that got opened. Remember the remote kid? What's it called? Greatest Freakout Ever. Oh, yeah, yeah. That was fake. Which one? Greatest Freakout Ever. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah, but. That was, I was so sad when I found out that whole channel was fake. Yep.

You're like, oh, I thought it was all real. Well, I mean, I was in like third grade. So yeah, I thought it was real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I forgot that remote part. Like, if that was... Even as, like, as stage... That's pretty good. That's good material. That's like... There's no way his parents were happy, by the way. Like... There's no way his mom and dad saw that. Well, you're so creative, son. His face, because he was like...

I was like, how is that just acting? Yeah, that's what, man. That takes some skill. Dedication to the craft. That is method acting. I will say, we were, so Houston and me were driving here, and I was like, I found my original YouTube account, my OG one. I was like, oh, I definitely have the oldest YouTube account in the entire group. Mm-hmm.

And he's like, oh, I created mine 12 years ago. He's like, is it that? I was like, mm-hmm. Unfortunately. When did you guys start your... Oh, I have it.

It's there. 06. 06. February 06. The old guy. Yeah, I'm the old guy. I found my old account. I was like, what the fuck is this thing? I actually have a video with like 9,000 views from my old, you know, when you're a kid and you get 9,000 views, you're famous. And it was, did you ever read Shabanu? Why does that sound familiar? It's like a book about an Indian girl. And you read it in school when you were in like sixth or seventh grade.

I did a video called Shabanu, Daughter of the Wind, and it was me dressed up as Shabanu, the chick. Oh, you would get canceled so fast. And we even had this part where I have an airsoft AK and I go, la, la, la. And I roll down my cul-de-sac and we put a firecracker in the end of the AK and like, ah, and I shoot it. We like pretend to be terrorists. I got an A on that project. Imagine doing that in school now.

Hope someone finds it and you get canceled. Oh, it's your job new you will find Curly haired me my castle. Let you go. It's oh wait. Oh wait there. Are you doing it? Shop a and you yeah, yeah, yeah, I just found a video of me from eight years ago on YouTube that I forgot Wait hold the fuck on

You're- That's me. Wait, hold on. Why do you look attractive? What happened? Early hair, Micah. Eli, stop hoarding the video. I would have thought that was a female. That's what I was going for. Hey, what was going on in Afghanistan, dog? Hold up. Let me get you to the part. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Right here. We even said viewer discretion advised.

Have you ever showed the top half of your head and not the bottom? Oh, yeah. Can we see the top of your head right now? Not right now, no. My hair's not going to look good, man. I'll take my beanie off. I don't give a damn what you do. I will VFX the most lush shot. Have you seen my hair? You've never seen my hair. I know what I'm saying. If you revealed it, it would just cut, and I'd just put it on. That's what I expected. Hey, you're a ginger. Check this out, though. Oh, my God.

Did you do your hair today? Out of regs, get yours today. Like this looks weird huh? It looks so weird. Charlie?

I don't know, you could go to- Hold on, hold on. You could- No, no, no. No. Above the ears. There we go, yeah. Come on. Come on, there we go! Hold on, hold on. He could show up to SHOT Show and no one would stop him. He'd just have to hunch over. Not a single person, they would think you're cosplaying as Admin. Hey, give me a- give me a- give me a line. Oh, dude. Oh. Oh, dude. So this one episode of Naruto, I was watching it, dude. It was nutsos. My favorite movies?

Quentin Tarantino everything else mid I love Quentin Tarantino It's true! It's true! Inglourious bastards! Um what else what else? Oh dude I always come in 14 to 10 bit The hunch Oh yeah the hunch No he did! First thing he did he put on and he went *cough* He's like sunk down You hurt his fine crack The worst posture on the planet Oh dude I look great Give me another shot *laughs* Yeah You want one? Yeah let's do it I want some whiskey

Betty you want one? Betty! Why not? Cause I still have my cup of whiskey right here. Oh, it's bad. Yeah, I've been drinking a cup of whiskey. Oh my god, Benny. Good Mythical Morning here. Good Mythical Morning! A Brett and Link here. A Brett and Link. Brett, Rhett, and Link. Betty?

- Guys, thank you. I'm just enjoying this. This is like one of those, like, ah, I did want to ask you now because Mr. - Are you gonna do that through the straw? - Do it through the straw. I dare you to do it. - I'm not a savage. - Okay, we're good. - You've gotten so good at drinking through a balaclava. - It's uncanny. - It's impressive, honestly. - I've spent hours in a balaclava, brother.

I've lived in this thing. I've died in this thing. I've made sweet, sweet, tender love under the moon. Have you had sex in your bowel? No, I haven't. That's too personal. Stop it. No. Not once. Come on, man. Listen, I'm not diving into my love life. A man's love life is not something that I've been through on camera. This is the liver king. Have you made her aware? This is the liver king.

My brother, I just told you know what the clip I'm talking about. Yeah, you like that clip I do like then I respect that's where you got the cliff If I was a liver King, I'm not telling Ethan from h3h3 my about my love life like that There's a soy did you watch the whole clip cuz afterwards like alright? I'm just kidding anyway, so I don't care. Do you guys take to his guns his testosterone? Natural see if I was liver King and Ethan

- If Ethan from H3H was talking to me, I'd be like, hey bro, pose for Z, come on dude. - I would look at that, that's what surprised me most.

You're trying to sell the- and then people bought into it. They were like, "Oh, you look at that and you're like-" Oh, that's natty. That's who those people have never worked out a day in their life. They're like, "Oh yeah, I can use bald-" We should have Liver King on Garandum. I don't work out. I'm looking at him like- Should we do a Liver King Garandum? Can I be there for that? Would that enrage the internet though? Having him there would be like- Horse testicles? Could you just catch him running? As long as you- I see him running like this at some point. Yeah, I want him to chase me down. He's like, "What's up, primals? Today we review the bow!" Sunk!

Bow and arrow. Wooden bow. Today we go hike up to northern Idaho. We carve a tree, make a bow, and do a ballistic test. I'm not going to lie. That guy sounds like kind of a good sound. What if we did a bow and arrow ballistic test? That's actually a great idea. With Liver King.

The one I want to see, because you brought up, it's a really good idea. Both teams merge together. Which teams? I want to be part of this. Unsub also. I'll drink. I'll hang out and drink. Grantham, admin. We bring in corridor. That's what I do best. Corridor digital. I want corridor digital so bad. In and around my orifices. Did you know Sam and Nico are the reason I ever picked up a camera in the very beginning?

I would not be doing what I'm doing if I didn't watch Sam and Nico. I'm going to invite you to the... We play Warzone like two to three times a week. Oh, no. They're my heroes. I'm not kidding you. I'm inviting him because me, Freddy, Sam, and me. I owe almost everything that I'm capable of right now to that whole crew. And I...

That was like me meeting Freddie Wong. So Batty flew in first time. He's like, we're doing a D&D. I was like, oh, this is the first time meeting Batty. I picked up Batty. He's like, okay, we're going to pick up Freddie Wong. And he's like, what? What the fuck are we doing? Freddie Wong? He's like, oh, and you're going to run a D&D game for us? I'm like,

He's never interacted with like it's just like when we got tattoos as I oh we're going to get dinner with Danny Worsnop and he was like

One of my, like, I saw Danny Warsaw, lead singer of Ask Alexandria. I love him to death. You're a great friend. You're the best. But previously, he was just a dude I saw at Warped Tour like four times when I was 19. And I was like, Danny Warsaw!

And then we're like, "Oh yeah, we're going to get sushi!" And then we're like, "I don't like sushi. I'mma go though." "I'll eat some rice!" "I'm legit- I legit- I love it Danny Wurst!" "I legit- I ate sushi. It was awful!" Danny, you like sushi? I like sushi. I love sushi, Danny. I'll try it again. It's okay. The sashimi is kinda weird. It feels weird going down my throat, but it's really tasty. Dude, it was- that was crazy shit. I wasn't prepared for that. I still wa- I'm- It's a weird thing, meeting your heroes, man. It really is. They usually suck.

It was weird meeting Garantham. He's one of my heroes. And then he like kissed me on the lips. It was just like nuts, dude. He kissed you on the... Wait, if I kiss you... That was a joke. Sorry, Mike. He didn't kiss me. I can kiss you right now. No, you don't have to do that. It's fine, though. I'll kiss him. I've kissed you. You guys all look like great kissers, but... You don't kiss the homies? No. Who's kissing Admin? I kiss you guys goodnight. I'm not kissing you on the podcast. Kiss Admin right now. But...

That's not the first time. Is it technically contact? I'm not kissing you. I'm just asking you. Is it contact? Sure, yeah. It sounds like a lot of weird consent. Is it the South Park consent? I need to hear you say it. Do you consent? I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you say it. It was the first time in the podcast. You're like... You're like...

Oh, you're bald as fuck! Yeah, I'm so sorry. I just looked at myself in the camera and I just- *Mumbling* That was bad. Back to my podcasting voice. Slav, you look great. Dude, you looking hotter than your standing pose.

Yo, what do we do though? So to fulfill the Corridor Digital, Micah Mayfield, Garantham, administrative results fantasies, Half-Life 2 or Half-Life Lore, Corridor Digital, Garantham collab. Some kind of like... He does kind of look like Gordon. Dude, Onward Research has a product coming out named After Half-Life. Don't do it, bro. Is it Sam or Nico? It's Sam. Oh, is it Nico? Okay, all right.

I just want to see this when Nico's angry. I hope he's in bed naked. I know. Eight o'clock there. I just want to see your reaction. Because I'm going to watch you be like, I'm a huge fan, Nico. Dude, I could hit him up right now and be like, I'll marry you. Remember your short film from 2013, Tether? I really liked that one. I wish I could do CGI from the sky.

He's such a fucking nerd. Oh my god, Tether. Remember Tether? I love that one with like the little robot and the tether from the sky. Tether was their first series. Yeah, I don't know anything about this. Who is this Heather? I bet she's hot though. It's the name of my mom. Oh dude, your mom is pretty hot. Heather made- Yes! Called it. I'm sorry, Heather.

Are you guys on a first name basis? That's hot. Well, guys, come on. That went a little too far. I crossed some lines there. Micah, I'm sorry. Mrs. Mayfield, that was... If my mom watches this, please don't watch. Let it be known. She's going to make it to an hour 28 of unsubscribe. You know what's easier, Flugg? Delete the last five seconds. We're waiting.

- You're apologizing, you're like-- - I was just saying how hot Mike's mom is, it got kinda weird. - The part where-- - The joke crossed the line, it was not okay. - Wait, what would be your dream YouTubers to work with, both of you? - For me, for sure, it would be someone who can actually make our sci-fi fantasies

a reality on screen would it would be corridor digital they're youtubers thanks for never trying to just reach out and ask me i did and i said name the date tomorrow done no um the i will say this no no mike will attest we're really bad at planning

Oh, I know. We're really bad at planning. So it would be more of a... If you're gun tubers are the worst fucking content. It would be a, hey, Eli, two days from now, can you be in Idaho? Yeah, and I'm like, what's the shot list? You're like, what are those? And I'm like, okay, we need to do it. We've never written a shot list. That's a big thing. You were saying gun tubers are bad at planning. That's a real thing. They don't come from the world of like the conventional shot list thing. It's like... We don't do shot lists. A lot of the guys are prior mill. Eli comes from L.A.,

Yeah, but... No, but even then, how long did it take me to put that finger down? Plan your shot. I was like, hey, do wide shot, do this, this, this. That's true. So for the Mandalorian video on Grantham, I literally, before we shot that little, like...

I'm like, Eli, all right, all right. How do I do this? And he's like, oh, Derek, Derek, do this, do that. And I still didn't even do it properly, but it was good. But it was cut to a wide. It was cut to that. I was like, this is how you do it. And then I was like, hey, just leave a longer beat next time. Like in my head, I just need to know what is going on. I can get the shot. Yeah, your brain was like, brr.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, my tism. And then I was like, hey, uh, and I was like, VFX, I was like, hey, make this bigger. And then, uh, reverse. I can't stand when he does the fingers with the shirt on. But it's all those little things where I see it one time, all I need is one time, and I'm like, hey, switch how the thing's falling, hey, bigger sparks, do this, and you're good. It's the shirt, you just saw the shirt, didn't you? You just saw the shirt. Wait, where do you get that? It's ours. It's ours.

We did a tism touch merch for and we gave all the proceeds to your awareness. Yeah, all proceeds went to autism You can't buy it anymore. Very nice. Yeah, I got you. You want that? I got that's a good shirt. That's a great shirt, dude But it was like for me, that's all I need. I'm like, hey, let me hear the directions and then I'm good Okay, and then I watch your show close his eyes for 45 all my friends rain man. I mean they know via that I just close my eyes. I'm like

Okay, we need to shot this angle, this angle, this angle. Does he do it? Yeah, because I know my angles. I know how to build it in the edit already, so it's done. And just like VFX, you sent me yours. It was like, hey, switch how the cloak's falling, do bigger, blah, blah, blah. What level are you? Your VFX level. Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking about autism. Prestige level 10. I have a runescape tattoo, dude. 99 out of 99, dude.

But those are the things that for me, I'm just like, I can just build a shot list on how I need it in my head. I just need to know the script so I can read it and be like, hey, we got to film it this way. So that way it looks good and it translates on camera. Yeah. No, dude, we are like, let's do an Independence Day skit. You were there for the Independence. How bad was the Independence Day filming? I want to say it was bad. I don't know. I don't know. Tell me, why do you guys have it? We didn't because it was.

A man in a fighter pilot. And we were standing on a range in Idaho. And we were somehow trying to make you and Mike appear like you're in a fighter pilot. But there was no ambiance. It was just you going, oh, I target him. So how you film that is literally him sitting down in front of camera with blue screen, upward angle like this. Oh, no, no. You said blue screen. Not blue screen, sky. Sky.

All you need is sky. Okay. So sky because you need to replace that. When you don't have anything to replace, you use the whatever objects you have around. So you and Mike, you have them in the background. So it's like, hey, get on this hill. We're going to film upward. You sit downhill. Now we're filming upward. The only thing behind them is the sky. Okay, sweet.

Rotoing you against the sky is extremely easy. Fucking quick roto key, put them in the background. Okay, now on the background element, I add the jet and the seat behind them, and then do a camera blur 0.5, and then that's it. This is the planning thing. This is what we did. We showed up. I just planned it in my fucking head. We showed up. That was later. You told me that.

Hold me the shot list that I told you how to film it. Yeah. And thank you for watching the Subscribe Podcast. As always, we have Eli Jones, myself, Vatty Streams, and our two beautiful, powerful, wonderful, amazing, sexy, strong, very... Low credit. One of them has a low credit score. Micah Mills and Administrative Results, thank you both for coming out. We will be on the after show here immediately after. You can find that on Patreon. Good luck. We'll see you soon. Where do we find you at?

administrative results on YouTube. I need to type it all the way on Instagram because I'm shadow banned. I was going to say I'm so shadow banned at Micah Mayfield. No one knows how to spell Micah, so that's the game. What's your mom's at?

Heather. At H dot Heather. At Heather dot Mayfield. Don't tell them. Don't tell the internet. Edit that out. No, your mom's a sweet woman. She's a. She's not. I want a thousand followers on my mom's Instagram just so she goes, everyone thinks I'm so cool. That unsub's real cool. You're not allowed. Your mom's like. You're cool for that, dude. Dude, unsub is how she gets famous. She's like, that unsub's not bad. Dude.

I got a pee. He's like, it's not bad. It's terrible.