YOU DID WHAT TO THE MEAT? -You Should Know Podcast-
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Or a tree with lights that can be controlled by remote or foot pedal. The Home Depot has it all in our huge assortment of premium trees. Plus, get free delivery on over 2 million items this holiday from the Home Depot. Subject to availability, see homedepot.com slash delivery for details. The You Should Know Podcast. Everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 114. Round of applause right now, please.

I like it. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. You know why there's so much energy in Uchino Studios right now? There's so much energy in the studio right now because we are four days away from our first show, the summer tour in Boulder, Colorado. Yeah.

Tickets are available. It's the top link in the description and every social in the description of this podcast on Spotify, on Apple, on YouTube, everywhere. So come join us on tour. Philadelphia's almost sold out. Houston's almost sold out. Chicago's doing really well. Boulder, you're coming up in four days. You get to see us touch our fingers, touch our hands, give us smooches and hugs, and we're going to put on an amazing, amazing show for y'all. We cannot wait to get on

the road remember join that discord so you can talk to everybody going to the shows and talk to all the you should know family members join that patreon for that extra content join that facebook you can see me on twitch if you'd like you don't really have to but we love you we love you we love you and we might have surprise merch at the tour you have to come to the shows and see we love you guys remember if you are new here if you haven't already and you look below you see that subscribe button is it pressed you're wrong if you look even more below then you see that comment sections are fulfilled with your name guess what even more wrong go and fill that out

Say how excited you are for tour right now, even if you're not going. We love you so much and enjoy the rest of the episode. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. And now Cam, let me talk to you real quick. Let me, let me, let me, we, I like it. You have an abundance of energy this morning.

And I love it. God bless you. We're wearing the same sneaker. I just realized it. Oh my God. We're twinning on the feet. And you know the crazy part is, you didn't walk into the studio with that sneaker on. That's just a new sneak. I don't think you walked in with those. You did, didn't you? It's the only sneak I have. No, that's a lie. I see another pair over there. You're lying. You're already lying. But I did walk in with these. I did walk in with these. Why are you so excited today? I'm just hyped, man. We're back. The tour starts in four days. That's four days. Boulder, Colorado. That is three sleeps, and on the fourth we'll be there.

Four days. That's how math works. You know, I am excited about Boulder, Colorado. I am excited to go, but the last time I was in Colorado...

The last time I was in Colorado, hell, you possessed. It was the worst. Literally, I had to get trailered by a strange woman two hours across the mountains as she cussed out various cars around me. And she was an hour and a half late. And still made it on your flight. No power in the bunker. We weren't in a bunker. We were in a cabin. They're called cabins, my friend. No power. Massive headaches. One of our friends had a nosebleed from the altitude. Yeah.

You had to park, I don't know, 45 feet away from the door and then take this track up to the damn door. Oh, no, I remember whenever I first laid it, I got stuck in the snow by a singer. You got stuck in the snow by a songwriter artist. I had to come, me and Neeksha came to your rescue. That shit's... I don't know what you just said. What word was that? Who? Is that what you call them behind closed doors?

His name's Sneak Show. You know him. Wait a minute. You know him. CJ, you might have to edit that one. He was fantastic. But we had to come to your rescue. We ended up getting the singer out of the snow with a shovel. Oh, my God. Can we just touch on that real quick? I think we already did when it happened. This man goes, oh, no worry. I have a shovel. He pulls out some shit you give to your toddler at the beach. He pulls out a handheld plastic Dollar Tree shovel. And he's like...

While there's like two feet of snow. Oh my God. We're in a mountain of snow. And he's like, I was like, all right, bro. I was going to ask you something. Ask it now. But I forgot. But it was a really good question. What was that? Stigmatism. It's quite hot. Oh, have you seen what's happening in New York? There's a lot happening in New York. The portal. The portal. Oh my God. You're so... I thought you were talking about the crime. Well, technically, yeah, there was a crime. There's been an outrage. There's been an outrage.

Are we turning to CNN? No, no, we're not CNN. The portal. The girl flashed her tits to Ireland. Mute that one. Oh, she flashed her goodie bag to Ireland. So if you don't know, there's a portal in New York. It's like a live camera. It's this big circle, and it live feeds straight to Dublin, and they can see back and forth. What did I say that's so funny? Just immediately. If you remember. Like these poor Irish folks, they're just looking at you. You're just like, just sitting there. You're just like, hey, what's up, man? What's up?

your pose oh that'd be funny i don't do that i did walk a red carpet yeah and i have a i have a photographic evidence of you doing this i have that in my phone right now you know the worst part about that red carpet at the acmas i went back on getty images website right where i got the red carpet pictures there's videos of me walking no there's they recorded me doing the pictures and it is so i'm literally like

You did good though. You don't know. I don't, but I'm saying I think you did good from what I saw. Because I already struggle with like every time I take a pic, you know, P is a good hype man. I feel like we don't give you enough credit on being a hype man. Most things. Well, it's okay. But he's a great hype man. If I look good, right, he's like, damn, boy, you're looking good. I might take you home. But he's like. I will kiss you in the mouth. He's like, let me get a picture of you. You look good. And I always go like this. I'm just like. You literally do the same thing.

I don't know what to do. It's like, how do these people have poses out of nowhere? It's a confidence thing. And I don't possess that in pictures. So I'm a small man. No, you're large. Girthy, too. You could use that thing as a kangaroo tail and stand up. You know what I mean? If I could stand on my Johnson and just be like...

I'm like, hello! I give you four limbs and I'm just floating in the air and standing. I've seen you get stopped at TSA because that unit you're carrying. Okay. They think that's a bazooka. This is enough. They think that's a weapon of mass destruction. No kid left behind. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? I took a couple. You could take a helicopter out with that one. I took a couple things down. I'm so sorry. It just had to leave. It had to come out. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

The portal. Back to the portal. The portal. So there's a portal going from New York to Dublin. Yes. Right? It's kind of sick. And so it was cool. But, you know, people, it was made so the world can come in peace. You get two different worlds. See two different worlds at the same time, live. It's like, hey, what's up? Somebody from Dublin showed one of our worst American...

Terrorist attacks. Immediately, bro. Immediately. Like the first day it was out. Yeah. Bro just pulls up 9-11 and goes, I'm like, that's sick. But it kind of makes me sleep better at night knowing that we're not. No, don't put that. Don't put that on my coat. Do not put that on my jacket. It makes me sleep better at night knowing that us Americans are not the only just like rude, insensitive people. I put a lot of people think, I mean, I definitely think life is nicer the further you go out. I don't know. We,

We live in the south. We're pretty nice. You go to like DMV or like a trip to LA or something. You got some rude people. Certain demographics you're pointing out. No, I'm not. I just... No, I'm not. High population. No, I went to two different coasts. You're like, but North Dakota is great. North Dakota is a hell of a... They're so nice. Nebraska, hell of a people. I mean, you can't find better hospitality than Idaho. No, I'm just kidding. But I brought that up because I hate the...

I didn't know. I don't know where Britain is. But I put... Whoa. What? I don't know where Britain is. First off, great Britain. Respect it. Oh, I didn't know there was like a subpar Britain. Like there's just Britain and there's the great part over there. There's great... And first off, no one says great Britain. That's why I just said Britain. No one says Britain. No one says Britain. What the fuck did they say? England...

London? No one in the history has ever said, I'm from Britain. In the history, yeah. Someone's uttered it. You're like the fourth guy. If you go, where are you from? They don't go, Great Britain. Where do they say? England. Where? Essex. Where? Suffix. They say all the... So no one just claims Britain. No one's like, I'm from Britain. I'm from the Big B. No, they'd be like, they say the UK.

I doubt that's true. All the UK fans, they say Britain. Somebody says Britain. You, you're the only guy, poor Osos. You're the only guy that utters Britain. Since when are you the Britain police? Since when do you know the Britain? You know everything about Britain. That's your people. I knew that.

No, I'm just kidding. But I knew the capital of India. I know things about the world. New Delhi. I know things about the world. You do. You don't. But you know what I don't like the people from Britain do? What? It really pisses me off. Beans. No, when they say the tube. Oh, about YouTube.

They go to the tube. We took the tube. Whoa, wait, wait. Like the tube. You're not talking about YouTube. No. But if they were to say YouTube, they're like, YouTube. Yeah, anything with tube. Like, you know how they say the train? They're like, the tube. The thing that kills me the most is when they throw R's on the end of things that end in A. I hate when you do that, too. I don't say that. No, no, no. You can't do that. Oh, my God.

Never been said. Put your hand up right now and swear secrets. I don't know what you do behind closed doors. You know. Oh, I have a theory. Oh, I have a theory. Oh, don't. It's about all y'all. I do not partake at all. Oh, if you're alone in a Honda. I can see him. I can see him. I know he does it. If you're alone. I know he does it. He gets it all. He gets cut off in traffic.

He loves it. Oh, my God. Don't cut him off in traffic. Oh, my God. Don't at all. No. I'm never alone in a Civic just playing the, I wonder if I never played it. No, I feel like if y'all are alone. No. And the new Gunn album came off, you're like, this bar is hard. And you're like. You should know podcasts.

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The description is in the link below. Now on to the rest of the episode.

Thank you, Pierce, for that. You might have to hit the speed down. No, it's good. It's on one. It's on one. Okay, never mind. Oh, yeah. So we turn the fan on. Yeah. I hate the way Brits say tube. That's all I wanted to say. Like, why do you call it that? And I hate... This might be a little partial, and I'm not trying to be partial. Okay. But the way, like, certain slang from different places... It's nasty. This is nasty. It is nasty. The tube, tube. What do they call school?

I don't know. University or something. We went to university. You guys went to university? What else did they say? Anything that ends in an A, sometimes it comes out with an R on it. That's also like Australia, though. We went to get petrol. Oh, petrol. You and Ty the bitch. You and your Ty get gas, mother... Petrol? Yeah, that definitely sounds like you're trying to make us feel less than. Yeah. Saying petrol. But we are dumb. That's one thing. We are not. Americans as a whole. We're uneducated. I am fine. You...

How much do you love yourself? Probably like a 6 out of 10. I have a lot of insecurities that I keep behind closed doors. I have a lot, man. I struggle. I'll tell you. No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, that shouldn't be an insecurity. No, I mean, I don't know. I like myself. No, that shit's massive, but it shouldn't be an insecurity. But I always immediately go, well, I know someone directly, directly in my inner circle that's better than me at everything. I'm not better than you at everything. Okay.

Alright. I'm not better than you at Apex Legends. I'm not better than you at Clash of Clans. You're better at patronizing, apparently. You just named two games. I'm not better than you at math. What does that give me? That's my point. Exactly. You're naming shit. That's what I'm saying. I have useless knowledge. I'm a loser, bro. I suck. It's alright, though. I was waiting for someone to like...

Pick me up a little bit. I'm fishing over here for compliments. I've been watching a lot of movies recently, and I've been in... God, you've watched so many. I'd have nobody to talk to. You have a wife. I do. You have a wife. I love her. I have CJ, but...

But I've been watching a lot of movies recently. Okay. And so one of the movies I was watching, Zombie Apocalypse, I love those dystopian, weird movies. I love shit like that. Is the movie called Zombie Apocalypse? No, I don't remember what it's called and they didn't pay to get an ad on here so I don't know the name of it. I thought you said I watched a movie called Zombie Apocalypse. No, is that a movie name? I was going to say, it's a Tubi movie, probably. Yeah, Tubi. But Tubi.

Chewie. But I've been watching zombie movies a lot. Good. And one of the movies I was watching, it was two friends, right? Mm-hmm. Hey. Like us, right? And one of the friends got bit by a zombie. Kill me. He started to go and turn into a zombie. So his friend, with a tear in his eye, capped his friend. Mm-hmm. As he should. But then I thought...

Me and you are together, right? We're in New York. Oh my god. Zombie apocalypse starts happening. Stomp your ass out. See, that's bullshit. Bro, if you get bit... Run. Run from you. Run from me. Don't end me. You act like I'm...

You've already been in your end. You're done. You're diseased. You're not even yourself. You see the difference between you and me? You think you as a zombie, you're gonna be like, I wonder where the CPS is. Like, no. You're gonna be like, you're Peyton as we know him is gone. So you would, you, you could in your soul, in the head with every bit of me, I would literally put the gun in my mouth.

I don't know if I can say it, I'm sorry, but that's how certain I am. And that's the difference between me and you. And then I'd stomp your head to pulp to make sure you were gone. It would harm me, it would hurt me, I probably wouldn't sleep.

But I'm not going to... You would want that. No, I wouldn't. I'm not telling you what I would do. If it was you, you got bit by a zombie. It's just me and you in this world. We're alone. We don't know where these little rats are behind the camera. We don't know where they're at. It's just me and you. We're surviving. We've been eating bread. We've been eating cockroaches. We've been trying to find... I don't like eggs. We've been trying to find life support. Everything. Everything.

We've been doing everything. We've been in this, John, for two months. The world is done. Oh, shit. Yeah, the world is done as we know it. We've been kissing and we get good feelings. You know what I mean? We get blood flow in the bunker. It's us two in the bunker. What are we supposed to do? You go to a corner. I'll stay in mine. You want to at least cheer me on? You go to a corner with a fantastic imagination and you do whatever you got to do. No, I'm like this. You're in the corner. I'm like...

That'd be some sick shit. Okay, but I'm saying... I'm just like... I'm like, thanks, kid. I'm out of here. That's sick. Okay. I'm saying, if you got bit... We've been at this thing for two months. That's a long time. We're all we have. That's a long time. I'd probably quarantine you first. No. You get bit, I'm like, take me with you. Bite me. I would allow you to bite me. We're going to be zombie bros. Why would you not just mute it? Why would you not just...

End me and then end you. You want to go to a mutilated flesh eating? Because we would both be alive as zombies. You're not alive. You don't think about what color shirt you're wearing. You don't remember your parents. You are dead. Your brain is mush. All you want to do is eat flesh. It is a disease. It is an apocalypse. We'd be the flesh bros.

You wouldn't even know I exist. You don't keep your best friends. Zombies don't have friends? Zombies have friends. You think they're playing hopscotch in the middle of feeding? All they do, they don't sleep, they don't rest. They're the undead. They're literally just like this.

Yeah, but we would have it. We could be like the thriller. We could be like thriller Michael Jackson. We'd have cool two steps together. See, that's the bullshit with you and you're unloyal. If you got bit in your arm, the first thing I do, machete, cut the limb off. That's going to hurt. You're going to have a hard time with only one hand. But if that can save you, have you ever seen World War Z? Yes. Saying she got bit, he said, yeah. Okay. First off, you also said you got bit and you immediately turned. If you got bit and you're immediately going, I hear your bones. No. No.

You're done. You're out of there. See, that's so rude. No, it's not. As a friend, as somebody you claim to love. Okay, let's reverse it again. You'd want me to bite you.

I want you to bite me just now. But like, yeah, then. You would want me to turn you to a zombie. I would literally get booty butt and I'd jump towards you and be like, have me. And then you could just, you can gnaw on my ribs. Have me, you're already a zombie. He said, yeah. No, that's disgusting. Matter of fact, what if I did? Oh my God. Your whole ideology is flawed. Why? If you're still human, I am now undead. It's not a...

I turned him. We're not vampires. I'm going to skin you alive and eat every intestine you own. Then how are there more zombies if that's the case? Because they don't... There would just be one power zombie. No, that's the people that...

He's growing? He gets a multiplier? Well, you're saying he's just eating everybody. No, a zombie is going to bite. If you get bit, you turn, right? Yes. But I'm saying, you still being a regular human, I'm going to bite and eat and eat. And then however long it takes you to turn, that's when I stop. Hungry, hungry hippo ass, just bite me and let me go so we can be zombie bros.

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Subscription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. Now on to the rest of the episode. Alright, you know what? You're talking about this zombie dystopian world and shit. I got a real life thing. Okay. I have a would you rather for you. Okay. Because I think you're going to pick. I just can't wait to hear it. I can't wait to see you shower. Excuse me? Excuse me? Have you ever showered with the suds with the marbles on them?

Like the exfoliator? Liv knows what I'm talking about. Exfoliant? Liv knows what I'm talking about. The exfoliating beads. Liv a lot. They're not. What the? She didn't even blink. Exfoliating beads. They're not marbles. Whatever. Marbles are that big. They feel good under. Try it when you go home. Helps ingrow. Helps ingrow. And I got a lot under there in the tight region. It's like a barbed wire fence. You're a jerk.

Your crotch is probably cursed. You want to see? No, it is probably a sight. Yeah. Like, I'm talking if... Chewed bubble gum. If... No! Your ball sack's probably disgusting. No, it was... I was wearing under the skims underwear they sent the other day, and I could not see it through the underwear. Like, it was like... Like, it was bad. Oh, my God. You... Imagine the poor... Never mind, never mind. No, no, no. It was like, what the... It was literally terrified. It was like this.

You ever waft the sheets and you smell it? Here you go. You're wafting your bedding and you're getting crotch. That's insane work.

I got something to say about your bedding. We'll get back to it. The way you put on your sheet, that is unacceptable. That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. It pisses me off beyond belief. I didn't know that was a weird way until all y'all jumped on me. This man crisscrosses his fitted sheet. Instead of going bottom and bottom, he goes bottom right, top left. He has to play this game with himself. He's like, you'd never play...

never fits it takes so long i'm like because you're doing it like an idiot no that works better doing cross cross is better than going bottom bottom you crisscross your sheets i've never heard of that i have i this is how insane that is i didn't even think a human would do that like i didn't even it didn't even process as a possibility in my brain the fact that i saw that payton you're it's just it's not it's not a crazy thing because crazy no there's a

There's a science behind it. Let's hear it. Because you go corner to corner, it leaves more room for extraction. It leaves more room for bending and pushing. Pulling and push. Levee system. Henry Ford, 1833. And so if you go cross-cross, then that's the hardest part. If you go back to front or front to back, the whole shit will go with you and you got to start all over again. You're a bad tucker. You're not a good tucker. Never learned how to tuck. Your name was never Tucker. I knew Tucker.

Mute the last name. He was part of the gutter game. Swear to God, he's the one who took me under the gutter, and that's when we got a drive-by with BB guns. It was a scary time. He called me the N-word in third grade. I swear to God. I swear to God.

I swear to God. I swear to God. It was during the civil rights, like, history lesson. I swear to God. Wait, you too? No, no, no, no, no. Did your school do? Bro, my school is sick as fuck. My school did an over-the-PA system out loud voting for Obama versus whatever. They made you cast your vote. So I was like this. I was like, I don't know the other guy. I was like, Brock? And then people were looking at me.

No, that is crazy. And then they came over the intercom and said, our presidential election for blank, blank elementary. The winner, Barack Obama. And everyone started, yeah. I was like, I know your school is lit. They said, you know, you've got that swag.

It was a crazy time. It was crazy. Hey, no, school is- Yes or no, did we have a f***ing kickback at recess that day? People weren't- we weren't even playing, we were just like this: "OH GOD, HE'S IN THE OFFICE! HE WON THAT BITCH!" There was me on the curb with brown paper bags. We got a nine-year-old drinking 40s, but it's like- it's like Kool-Aid. Chocolate milk. You're like- Whoa. Come on. I didn't- no, f***, I didn't mean that! No, I didn't mean Kool-Aid. I really didn't- I didn't mean Kool-Aid.

I meant Kool-Aid, but I didn't mean it like that. It's because you're such a non-that guy and you don't think about it. It's fine. That's what I had in my lunchbox. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that. Thanksgiving during our school. Oh, shit. That was so funny. There's some pictures of me during Thanksgiving from elementary school.

If those resurfaced... The way they made us dress? Dude, live school said the same thing. Dude. They said they have like a plant your flag day. And some people... It was called the land run. They made some kids dress as the indigenous, run across the land. Other kids had to go plant their flag and colonize. I was like, you're shitting me. Dude, schools used to be like bad. Were you shirtless? No. No, I had like a tarp though. You were shirtless with like a collar.

No, but they're so, they made me go to, they made me go to Michael's and get like a ton of feathers for the class. It was bad. In elementary school, making you go to Michael's and buy shit? I didn't even get to take the class pet home. What's the would you rather? Oh, our class pet died in Clarissa's house. Her name was Pepper. It was a bunny. Died two weeks after they got it.

Seized in the backyard. Oh my God. Don't put it on his camera. Oh my God. Bro, I don't think we ever, I think we had a class like tortoise, but it never left. Sad life. Shout out to Jaws. Sad life. You got to think, his lights were off from like 4 p.m. to like 7 a.m. the next day. Every day of his life. No one to feed him, no one to talk to.

Class pets should not be allowed. That's sad. It's like a mini zoo. There's one zoo, one artifact. But what if a class pet was like an orangutan? Like a huge one. And it just mutilates. It's just enormous. He has a bad day. He's like, Today is a wonderful day! He flipped that one off and said,

Oh, shit. All right, Planet of the Apes, great movie. Great movie. Go watch it. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Would you rather? Would you rather? Golly. Back to the New York crime and stuff. I'm so wet. I am so wet. Would you rather? Sorry. Would you rather? Sorry. Would you rather be hunted by a serial killer?

or hunted by the police for a crime you did not commit. Oh my, him? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's two of my biggest fears. I always think someone's coming to my house to kill me. And my biggest fear is getting arrested for a crime I didn't do. That's what I thought. I said I'm a fiend. No, I'm about to have a panic attack.

What if you went- Get away from me! Oh shit. Oh my god, talk me through this. Is it Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy? I don't know. You don't get to know. No, I gotta know. You don't get to know. It's the Zodiac. Is he gonna eat me or is he just gonna kill me? Probably both. He'll probably kill you and then taste that little thigh meat. Do I get a little pleasure? Yeah.

He's going to kill you and take that little boy tongue with him. Is he going to whine and die at me? He's going to tickle your toes. Is he going to whine and die? Oh, my God. He's going to strap you down. Nice. Like that. Drug you. Don't like that. Tickle your feet. Don't like that. While you can't move to an absurd amount of tickleness. And then slit your throat. Okay. You're a dark human. I'm telling you, Cam has another life. And we're going to find out about it in a couple years.

So it really depends on the serial killer. Okay, so how hard are the cops coming? Oh, you definitely... It's like a serious chase. So either he, the serial killer is...

Actively, like you are his next person. He's hunting you. Or the police are hunting you. They think you at least murder. I got my answer. You would have to be 100% a serial killer because I could retaliate back and not go to jail. With the cops, that's the whole government and judicial system behind that. I can't fight back. If they catch me, I'm toast. But you didn't do it. It doesn't matter. I have to prove that. One more caveat. You have proof that you didn't do it. Oh. But they're trying to hunt you to kill you. Oh, God. Oh, God.

But it is known if I get- The local DPD, Dallas Police Department, or a Bundy-esque, but say he's also very masked, like he has a beard, like a good beard. Like broad shoulders, kind of. Like he's a linebacker. I would 100% take the serial killer. Because if I have my back and I take him off, I wipe him off, I'm a hero to the town. They write a Netflix documentary about that. But then you still go to jail because you still committed murder. Yeah, but okay, even if I get arrested, I can't last two minutes in jail. Have you seen my butt? No.

Your butt is... Look at my butt. I've seen your butt. They want my butt. Tiger stripes. And I'm too sociographer, J.O. I almost said it. Tigger the tiger? And you would have hit me with the meanest. Be careful. No, I'm too sociographer, J.O., because even if I make them be like, hey, quiet, boy. Careful. I'd be like, hey. Come over here. I don't know.

That would literally make me invert inside myself and be like, God, please don't. Oh my God, you're a psycho. I say, come here, boy. I need to stop that. Hey, partner. All right, John Wayne. Hey, what are you in for? I don't give a shit. Take them pants off.

Oh, you're that easy? You're an easy little broad, aren't you? Stop, stop, stop. Stop. Stop. Okay. Yeah, no, 100% serial killer. Would you pick serial killer too? I think I'd have to pick police. I think I'd have to pick police. Because if... Yeah. If I... No, no. Stop, stop. You want to lift? They go, you're fine. Where's your friend? Just kidding.

We are playing with absolute fire. And this is a comedy podcast. This is comedy. It's all jokes. But I think when I first thought of it, I was like, okay, I got to know what I'd say. I'm picking police because if I get caught,

At least it's 50. If I get caught by the serial killer, I'm dead. Like, yeah, I can fight back. You have no grit. You have no combat. You're just going to square up with the guy. He's a serial killer. So what? He's not a superhero? He's going to have beaver tranquilizer in his left pocket. He's going to have traps. He's got to hit me. It's because he's going to have traps in the forest. You're just going to be like, dude, I'll whoop his ass. There's going to be like a net that falls on you. He's going to spit in your mouth.

Who's this? Crash Bandicoot? Like, who is this? Like, who am I fighting? That's the point. It's a serial killer. You don't know what he's about. You don't know what he's about. Serial killers are just your range. You're not mad scientists. And some of them go through a lot of effort to get their victims. See, and the reason you're doing this is because you just learned how to punch. Until two months ago, Cam punched like this. So that's why he doesn't have any confidence fighting back. Cam would fight with his thumbs out here.

You should have seen it. It was never right there. They were like... It's something with my hand, man. I can't fold it all the way down. They'd be right on the cusp of that knuckle. You look like a 40-year-old mom that did jazzercise in Taekwondo. She's like...

No, that was bad. That actually hurt. And that one random guy was just like, hey, you're going to break your finger. And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, how do you do? He's like that. And I said, oh, nice. That just doesn't feel right now. Yeah, Cam is a lick. Anybody out there wants to get him in Colorado? Don't do that. Never mind. Yeah, we're all right. This episode is brought to you by PDS Debt. P, getting in credit card debt is way too easy. Scaly. Way too scaly. Don't like it? Getting out? Well, we

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Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

I saw this on Twitter, right? And I need to know if you agree with it or how you feel about it. When you accidentally watch somebody's Instagram story in the first 15 seconds that they post it, how do you feel when you do that? I don't feel good. I feel like in their mind, they see me peeping through a window. So you feel like a fan? Not even a fan, just like a creep. Like a stalker? Imagine something happening in your life and within the first 15 seconds, someone's like...

Like you don't say like it's just through social media. I have no you you just left the job interview in someone's literally outside like this I literally enjoy it almost it gives me like a thrill to know I'm the first one you might be Bundy you might be Bundy you're just like You're oh my god your lady whistle down or whistle blow. What is that? What is it? Who's lady?

Who's Lady Whistledown from Bridgerton? I haven't seen that. A lot of sex in that show. A lot of sex. A lot of nipples. A lot of regal sex. A lot of thou art box is mine. Thou art box is mine. You are now with child. No, but I don't have a problem if somebody, like, honestly, I'll swipe up. If it's the first 16 seconds, I'll leave a discussion post. I really like what you did here.

Hell no. If I do, no, hell no. Because it's, no, it's not a good look. Why? I guess that's one of my social inks that come out. I don't like that. The only problem I have on social media in that sense is if somebody leaves a poll and I accidentally vote for it, clicking through stories. And then, like, my opinion is not what I say. You could have been like, said some wild shit and I voted. I hate the fact that you even made a poll. Yeah, and so. That you took the time and effort to make a poll. It's like, should I kill my ex today? And I'll be like, hell yeah, girl. And I'll be like, I didn't mean that. And now I'm an accessory to murder.

I was about to say, do you think that could get traced back to you? If you like egged somebody on? What do you mean? Like with that exact same scenario. Yeah. Like you could get some sort of legal. It's an accessory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Conspiracy to murder. Oh, have you seen that thing? That's terrifying. Oh, I win. I win. I win. Years and years. What the fuck?

Here's I win remember what every time I get a new phone. What do I do with the old one? Keep it exactly and all the time We're just got a new phone and where you saying give him the phone trade in you need your money back trade it in I'm a man of money. I don't need to oh I did that I like that so but the reason I knew God told me God works through me He always leaves little trinkets in me and you know what you know what I was right because recently this week

There was an Apple bug. And so all the people, a lot of people, not all the people, a lot of people that bought those old iPhones from like, you know, when you traded me, you could buy the old ones for cheaper and shit like that.

The original, even if you deleted and wiped it, the original people's pictures popped up on that phone. They would have saw my hammer. They would have saw my hammer. You know what I mean? That person would have needed a psych eval if they got your old phone. Oh, my God. They would have thought it was a website. It would have been...

Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay, let's act like my phone is just absolutely nuts. No, no, no. People are going to make conspiracies about it now. I'm kidding. Sometimes whenever I'm naked and I'm in the mirror, I told you I'd turn myself on. I'll take a picture and just appreciate it. I swear to God, there's this one picture. I'll show you, Kev. You already told me. I look like a baby.

That one website's gonna run with that one. Hey, speak... Yeah, good God. Don't talk about it. We're not shedding zero light on that. Speaking of weird sexual things... Oh, yes. Where are thou boxed? Okay.

Time travel with me back to high school, right? You remember Kahoot? You remember the glorious game Kahoot? And you've been doing it recently on your Twitch. I've been doing it on Twitch because I've been trying to get over the PTSD from doing Kahoot and I was the only red one. I was the only one that got that question wrong. It would be like 18 people got it right, one got it wrong and everybody would be like, who was it? And they looked at me and then my screen was red. And then everyone looks at you like this. Yeah. I almost bought a screen protector for that. Hey, shout out your teacher for letting you use the phone. That's pretty sick. What would you use? We used our Macs.

Your Macs? We had MacBooks. Oh, take that and run with it. Private school. Yes, we had MacBooks. We had MacBook Airs. I swear to God.

Oh, and when those little nerd kids went and modded the system, threw Minecraft on there and Cabela's Hunter. No, no, no, no, no. Shut your damn rich ass up. We had MacBooks. You will never beat the allegations. I did not go to... I went to a public school. I did too, but the laptops they gave us, there was only one crate for the whole school, and they still had the T in the middle of the keyboard as a racer, or as the mouse pad. The little red button.

It was a ThinkPad or whatever it was called. Oh, ours was a, uh... Oh yeah, MacBook Air. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Alright, what up rich boy? Tell me about your prep schools. So, Kahoot. You remember Kahoot? Yeah. Who was... Who was the genius that allowed kids to pick their own name on Kahoot? And just have just wretched names in the classroom.

Uh, like Hugh Janus. Yeah. Hugh Janus. Yeah. Yeah. What are some other ones? Uh, oh my god. Uh, it was, uh. I'm not creative enough for these. It was like Mike and then Oxmaw.

It's like, it just pops up and it gives you a little picture of like a little llama and shit like that. I tried to do it one time, but I was never good at wordplay. So I just put like my dick's big. Like I was never good. Oh, uh, uh, Ben Dover. That's a good one. See, that's good. Those are good. Pat McGroin. He said I wasn't good with wordplay. So I just put my dick's big.

They'd be like, that's Peyton. Oh, okay. Not because of that, because I'm an idiot. I'm just saying, imagine you're doing like U.S. history or something. It's like, where was Plymouth Rock? And you get it wrong and it just says my date. And then you're just like, everyone looks trying to figure it out. You're just like, I don't know where Plymouth is. And they're like, oh. Yo, Plymouth was a... My big toe locked up and I'm super sensitive with my toes. Not even a joke. That shit hurt. Move on.

Oh, so, yeah. Kahoot sucked. That was funny as f***. But why did they let them pick their name? What are some other serious things that kids just don't take serious? Nowadays? Why can't you just put Michael, Amber? Just put it. Kids always f*** up everything. We were once them, but it's like... One thing kids don't take seriously in school is active sh** drills. Oh my god, at all. At all. I took care of it.

Yeah, Pierce was like, "PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN!" Pierce was like, "THERE'S A GUY HERE WITH A G--!" He's like, "YOU MIGHT NOT WANNA OUTTA HERE, BUT I DO!" He's just screaming at him. "GET THE F--K OUTTA HERE!" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Did you hear what I was trying to get out? Alright, we're gonna mute all that. We're gonna keep-- Not all of it. Not all of it. We gotta keep some slivers. We're gonna have to review that one in the edit. Holy shit, man. Oh, shit.

That was funny as hell, bro. I'm so sweaty. I am wet. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, my God. No, but the drills, bro. Over a year ago when I was still teaching, they, I mean, it was to the point where even I know it's a drill. Like, I'm the teacher, right? I'm the teacher. What are you laughing at? I'm laughing at Pierce Lamas. Pierce was like...

It's clearly a drill. Pierce is like, f*** man. Guys, we should really listen to Mr. Kennedy.

No, but... Okay, sorry. Here you go. Bro, I'd literally be... So the way my class... You saw my classroom. So there was like an office built into the class. It was like the only classroom that had it. And I got lucky enough to get it. But I never used it. So that's where they would go. That's where they would go for the drills. But they'd go in there. And people are just having rap battles and shit. They're listening to like Nicki Minaj. And I'm just like, you know what? I'm like, if this was real, y'all would be toast. You know why though? Oh, God. Oh, God.

What was that? The S fell again. You know why, though? It's because they're actually afraid and that's how they cope with it. Probably that, too. But I was saying, like, even, like, when I was a kid...

I knew if something was going down, I wasn't doing any of that shit. I'm breaking that window. Oh, I knew that for sure. And I'm getting out of here. I had an evacuation plan for everywhere I was. Oh, 100%. Especially my high school compared to my parents' house. Oh, yeah. You could just run. I could run there and be there in two, two and a half minutes. But just for legality, listen to what your teachers say and your principals and do those in evacuations. I mean, in all honesty.

In all honesty, being on the other side of it now, that's the best thing you can do. Because you've got to think your SROs and your officers, they're going to be out. They're going to try their hardest to stop something. Speaking of school, we've been having this ongoing battle for the past couple weeks on the podcast on who's smarter. Trivia? No, not trivia. Just who's smarter. Who's smarter. There's one thing we haven't touched yet. Okay. Let's do a spelling bee.

Me versus you. Because I got an award in college for English and Cam is bad at English. Yeah, I'm not the best at spelling. I'm down. You get three words. I'll get three words. Ah, shit. You go first. What does the winner get? There's always got to be a prize. A kiss every time. You kiss me. I kiss you. We kiss each other. One's more tongue. One's a little spit in the throat. Here we go. Okay. All right. I got my... Do you want me to go first? You go first. All right.

I'm not going to give you crazy. I feel like you're going to give me some bullshit words. I would never. Okay. First word, maneuver. Can we do like two syllables? What are we doing? Maneuver. That's three. We'll cap it at three syllables. Maneuver. I got to close my eyes. M-A-N-E.

That's right. Yeah. Shocker. Oh, my God. We got real-life Socrates in front of us. M-A-N-O. Yeah. Oh, shit. M-A-N-E-U-V-E-R. Wrong. Close? Missed a couple. What was it? Out of order. How do you spell it? M-A-N-O. Manova. M-A-N-O-E-U-V-E-R.

V-R-E. Even the way you just said it, you could have said, That sounds like a Minerva. That's a super glue. See, that's the shit about you. You always ask these ones that nobody knows. You don't use the... Oh my God. I just got so mad for no reason. What's wrong with you? You don't use the word maneuver? Yeah, but I don't want to smell it. That just scared me. You have something in you. You need to get out. That scared me. I need to get that. Don't punch me. Okay. What?

Okay, one down. Over one. Okay, thanks. Second word. Occurrence. Hey, bro. It's an occurrence. Act respectful. These are regular-ass words. There's an occurrence Thursday night. O-C-C-U-R-A-N-C-E. Was there a P-H in there? What is going on? Occurrence. Try again. Occurrence. It's a tube. Up the tube. Did I do too many C's? No. Your first three were correct. O-C-C-E-R-A-N-C-E. What?

Occurrence. No, occurrence. Correct word. O-C-C-U. That's what I said. That's what I said the first time. Okay, you still said it wrong. O-C-C-U-R. Yeah. R-R-R-E-N-C-E. Occurrence. With all these silent ass letters and shit. Final word. Here we go. Ready? Yeah. Questionnaire. Okay, question. Q-U-E-S-T-A.

Your eyes were, I wanted to scare you, but I was too far away. So I just tried to go with a scream approach. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to throw you off. Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-A-I-R-E. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Oh, for free. Wait, no. No, shut up. Questionnaire. Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-A-I-R-E.

Speak like a man. What am I speaking? You sound like Caillou. You're like, Caillou, Caillou, Caillou. You sound like a cartoon. Speak like a grown-ass man. Conjure the strength and spell it. I don't, Q-U. You're making me panic and it's hot already and I'm having anxiety attacks. I think you just gagged. Q-U, Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-A-R-E.

Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A. I'm going to slap the dog shit out of you if you do that again. N-N-A-I-R-E. Questionnaire. Two R's and two N's? It's a questionnaire. Two R's, two N's? There's one R.

Spell it again quick. So it's Q-U-E-S-T-I-O-N-N-A-I-R-E. That makes sense. Question it. Oh, shut the hell up, Pierce. That makes sense. Oh, that makes sense. I'm Pierce. That makes sense. 0 for 3. My turn. Oh, my God. I just need one. Hey, round of applause. Let's go. Pierce was a hall monitor, wasn't he? Yeah, no. He was definitely a part of the club that put on the hard hats and the vests. They walked around. Do you need help finding tutoring? Tutoring's this way.

We're actually in the library hall this week, gentlemen. We're over here. Let's go. I should have used that joke on you. You were definitely a hall monitor. No, I wasn't. I was in the Friends of Rachel Club, though. I was in Friends of Rachel's Challenge. Yeah, I was a leader for Friends of Rachel's. I was in the Presidential Advisory and the Student Body Council Advisory. Yeah, you brought teachers apples and shit and asked them about their summer, loser. Here we go. Your parents paid to get you in Gifted and Talented. I went to a public school.

Gifted and talented. It was a great time in my life. I did a trifold project that I memorized over the Oklahoma City Memorial bombing. How many friends did you have? I had about three. I had about three and they all lived on my same street. I could walk to all my friends' houses.

Cam was a kid to bring a Rubik's Cube to class, and he was trying to impress everybody by solving it. I was never good at Rubik's. I had a shit ton of silly bands, though. I was with the silly bands. Yeah, you had no friends in school at his shows. I brought a Dallas Cowboys football to school. Yeah, and I made a bust of Saddam Hussein. Here we go. One day I got tackled. Short of the goal line, and I faked an injury. I know. I know. Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam.

Cam brought roller skates to class one day. I did bring Bakugan. Not roller skates, but Bakugan. I was thinking about the, what's the thing called? Beyblades. Beyblades. I never had a Beyblade. I had Bakugan. I could tell. I just set my base card and rolled it. All right, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. 800 attacks. Here we go. Here we go. Cam, your first word is, and this is an ironic one, misspell. Misspell? Mm-hmm. M-I-S-P-E-L-L.

Stupid no two s's. Yeah, what the fuck damn it. It really was just two s's. Yeah, it's just m-i-s-s-p-l-e-l-e-l-l Damn it. I could have had one. All right second one. I thought it was like a reverse psychology. No second one You could tell he wasn't allowed to eat dinner if he failed at that That was my that was my only chance. That was my only chance. I got starved if I didn't pass

Jeez. Lisa's not going to like that one. I'm sorry. Lisa didn't help me with schoolwork. Who did? No one. I helped myself. My dad was at work and my mom just, bless her heart, I never asked her for help. Okay. I was like, I'm going to just figure it out. Second word. Fuchsia. Oh, like the color. I don't know what it means. F-U-S-C-I-A. Fuchsia. Say it again. F-U-S-C-I-A. Fuchsia.

Say it one more time and slower because I can't keep up with what you're saying. I think I'm getting it right. No, no, no. I'm not trying to f*** with you. You're going too fast and it's confusing me and your spacing is really different. I did that thing again. I saw it. Your eye like pulses. Alright. Alright, come on, come on. F-U-S-C-I-A. Stupid 0 for 2. We're just as dumb. You're a dumb little idiot. F-U-C-S-I-A? What? What?

Spell it for me. F-U-C-H-S-I-A. There's an H. All right, go. Fuchsia. I gave you words you actually use. Indict. Oh, wait. Indic. In-cook. I meant to say indict. Indict. Oh, you spelled it for me. Yeah, no, that's why I had to go back. I-N-D-I-T. All right. Nauseous. Spelling.

Cam's attitude and life in general and existence makes Peyton nauseous. What fucking website is that? What bullshit website is that? Alright, nauseous. The smell of Cam when he leaves... Silence now. The smell of Cam when he leaves outside makes Peyton nauseous. It smells like grass and pennies. Nauseous. N-A-E. You got it wrong. Okay, let me try again. No, you don't get two tries.

You didn't even let me finish. You got it wrong. What do I need to let you finish? You're going to redo it? You didn't let me finish. You said it all. You got it wrong. Okay. N-A-S. N-A-U. N-A-U-S-E-O-U-S. Yeah, but it doesn't count. It doesn't count. Let's do another round. Let's do another round.

Okay, bro, you're dumb as shit. I think I'm trying to like... I don't even care if I win. Yeah, you went over three. I don't care if I win. As long as me and Cam are the same amount of smart, I'll take this. Okay, here we go. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah, you would have got choked. Here we go. Bureaucracy. I'm kidding. Does that make you feel good about your word? I'm sorry. See how lame he is? Bureaucracy is a fun word to him. I said f*** word. Accommodate.

That's pretty... A-C-C-O-M-A-D-A-T-E. Wrong, wrong, stop, stop. Wrong. Is that fun? Does that make you feel good? Don't let you finish? Accommodate. A-C-C-O-M-M-O-D-A-T-E. Stop doing that! No, stop doing that. No, you're going to make me mad. Stop doing that. Do a word that doesn't got the double letters. We're doing one for one. Okay, but you do that again, the game's over. That's stupid. Oh, is it umpire? Umpire.

Hey, go back to your bibliography website of us. All right, mischievous. Mischievous. Yes. M-I-S-C-H-I-E. What did I say? I said M-I-S-C-H. You got it right so far. Did I say V or E? Help me. This is what you got right so far. M-I-S-C-H-I-E. O-U-S. There's a V there.

You missed the V. You said E. Obviously there's a V. Okay, hold on. I'll start from the jump. Mischievous. M-I-S-C-H-E-I-V-O-U-S. It's I before E. Sometimes Y. That's a stupid-ass rule. You know, there's more occurrences where it's E before I than I before E. Well, you got it wrong. First one to get one is the smarter one. Oh, my. See how Cam gets so mad? We got to hurry this up. Unnecessary.

Cam that's my answer. That's your answer C-A-M? Bro that I said not to do the ones with double ass letters stop doing the ones with double ass- No stop doing the double ass letters! That's the rule! That's the rule stop doing it. Spell sergeant. Oh, I know this one because I remember. That shit typically works. Oh, I know this one because I remember. Sergeant. S-A-R- I thought there's an I in E and T.

I was going to say S-A-R-G-I-E-N-T. What are you spelling? I was going to spell S-A-R-G-I-E-N-T. I remember there was some little part in the middle. Go. Sergent. You're already wrong. S-E-R-G-E-N-T. It's Sergent.

And it's still wrong. You can't do that to me. Because I'm trying to figure it out in my brain out loud and you're yelling at me. You're the one that cut me off first. You started this premature cutting. You're the one that was engifted and talented. I had to take summer school and had to do after school tutoring because my brain couldn't handle the knowledge. Because you didn't pay attention because you were thumbing your tail, saying hi to the little girls, showing them your cool ass phone and your little suspenders with your silly bandage and your little cool guy.

Guy you go to the movies in the fourth grade get a little kissy kiss you were you were swapping spit behind the monkey bars You know what I was doing. I was having gunk dunk contests on the monkey bars with myself I practice dungus bet you can't do this cam. On the monkey bar I said I'm the only one that can do Statue of Liberty then here comes along Ryan And he does it better than me and the girls like him. Alright we'll do one more each one more each here we go surveillance

Surveillance. S, you know, I'm going to just go for it. Here we go. Surveillance. Sur-veillance. S-U-R-V. Those eyes and ears again. Surve- There was an A. Surveillance. People finally know that I'm smarter. S, you shut your damn mouth. We're just as smart. Surveillance. S-U-R-V. Surveillance. E. Surveillance.

E-L-I-A-N-C. Nope, you're wrong and stupid and we're just as dumb. Oh my god, I'm gonna... That's the spelling bee of the... Ow, bitch! Did you see how we just punched? That's the... Round of applause for the spelling bee of the UChino podcast. Why are we clapping? Because we're both as smart as each other. No, we're both as dumb as each other. We both went over. I don't celebrate unsuccess stories. You don't give participation medals around YSK. I'm starving. Speaking of starving, I have to think of this.

How do you eat your string cheese? I don't eat string cheese. Makes me gag. I don't like it. I swear to God, I don't. String cheese, the coldness of it, it's nasty. If you were to eat string cheese, do you string it or just chew it whole? I would just chew it whole like a man. Welcome. Thank you. Who does that? People say stringing it makes it taste better.

Hey, it's the same thing. Bullshit. It's literally cheese. You just eat it. I don't like to eat like a rabbit. Oh my God. Huh? You know what I just thought of? String cheese? I mean, it was never really in them, but we were talking about school and school grounds and shit. Tell me about it. Lunchables. Oh my God. Not a Lunchables guy. Also made me gag. What the hell did you eat? Unless you warmed them up. What did you eat? Unless you warmed them up. Put a Lunchable in a microwave, make you want to slap your grandma. She's dead. Dig her up and slap her.

You warmed up Lunchables. That's a sick thing you just said. You didn't warm up your Lunchables? No one ever. No one ever. You buy them in the refrigerator. You refrigerate them. You keep them in your little cool lunchbox with a cool little ice pack that looks like a dragon, and then you eat it cold. This is a very popular debate going on is the microwaving of Lunchables. Who likes cold crackers? Who likes warm? Name a single time you've had warm crackers in your life. At least room temp.

You're not warm. You're heating it up with nuclear power. You don't warm up your graham crackers? What the f***? You don't warm up your s'mores? Yeah, you put it over a fire. You know what you put over the fire? The marshmallow, not the cracker, you jack wagon. Oh, so the heat just stays in between the bread. You don't like toast?

You warmed up a nacho Lunchable. Oh my god, you deserve prison. The chicken nugget ones. Especially the best ones, right? The little nugget ones? Dude, the nuggets were fire. Those are the only times I'd eat cold nuggets, to be honest. Oh my god, you're a prisoner. They serve it cold, you eat it cold. They serve it cold to preserve it. That's like going to get the dino nuggies out of the Tyson pack and you're just eating them out of there because they're cold. You heat them up like a human, you goddamn orangutan. Those are frozen, you numbskull. You're a little zoo pet. So what was your favorite Lunchable?

I didn't like it really at all. It's all my grandma. Which one did you ever got? Did you heat them up? The pizza? So you had soggy- Oh, no, the pizza ones I didn't like. I couldn't do that. Wait, you didn't heat up the pizza ones? No one heated up the pizza ones. You ate cold pizza? Cold pizza's amazing. Drake said it best. I like your grill better in the morning like a cold slice of pizza.

What? We're talking about Lunchables, not women. Exactly, but cold pizza is fantastic. Cam, that's been in a freezer in a Target. It's not frozen. Cam. Let me break something down to you. You eat like a barbarian.

No, bullshit. What did you eat for a kid lunch? What did you eat for lunch? If you didn't like Lunchables, they made you gag. Cream cheese made you gag. You probably didn't eat your fruits and veggies. So what'd you eat? You just gnawed on turkey legs? At home or at school? At school. I would just get the square pizzas. Those were fire. Michelle Obama kind of ruined them, but they were fire. They were gas. They were so good. With a little chocolate milk. Oh my God, they were so good. I got the little cheeseburger often, too. You did that? The square pizza with the chocolate milk? That. Back to Lunchables.

Cam, I'm going to explain something to you. Think of the little sandwich ones, right? It has the crackers, the little cheese. You don't talk when I'm talking. And then there's the little bologna, right? It was never bologna. What was it, ham? You had some wretched, some bullshit-ass lunchables if you had bologna. The little ham ones. Ham or turkey. Whatever it was. Ham or turkey. Cam, I don't like cold meat. It's lunch meat. Cam.

Kim, that's not good. You're supposed to heat it up. That's not good for you. You have to cook your food. That's just not good for you. I'm just looking at a science perspective. Oh my God, your science is flawed because you're not cooking the lunch meat. It's already made. You cook things that are raw. Lunch meat can be eaten immediately. Lunchables can be eaten immediately. You put something in a microwave, it is heating it up. You can also eat a cold chicken leg. You can eat that and you'll be fine. And that's raw!

That's raw. The fake surprise is the fastest. It's raw chicken. You're not going to make me crazy because on the back of the thing, there's an instruction manual that says to heat. They wouldn't put that on if you're not supposed to do it, dumbass. I don't know if that's factual. Google launchable, CJ. Someone pull up a picture of launchable. I'm telling you because this is a popular debate and people have talked about this. There's heating on the back of them.

Okay, so, okay, oh my god! You know that, you know, you know the chicken and rice I get, and it comes already cut in that bag? Yes. That green? Okay, that's not raw, is it? Shut up. Answer my question. That's not raw, is it? No, it's cooked. So you can just eat that out of the thing, right? And it's frozen! When shit is frozen, you unfreeze it. When shit's just cold, you can eat it. It's not in the freezer in the grocery store? Yes!

I'm talking about Lunchables. No. Yes, it is. Lunchables come in ice bricks. No, they come in the thing you pull open. It's in the same damn section. It's in the same. I'm going to break my head. No, listen to me. It's in the same damn section as the frozen chicken nuggets. It's the same damn section, Cam. I'm telling you something. You shop at these magical.

Supermarkets that aren't real. Your bacon is dry and on the aisle. Your lunchables are near the frozen chicken. No, the Tyson chicken, it's right by it. It's right by the chicken nuggets. I'm about to get naked. Go to our local Krogy. Go.

Kim, you don't know you're rich! You do drive-thru groceries, you haven't seen the inside of a grocery store in two years! That's you! You're reflecting or neglecting! What is the word? Deflecting. Deflecting, thank you. You're a deflector. Defector. Bro, Lunchables is right next to the deli meat and the pickles and the sliced and shredded chicken. The pickles are on the shelf!

Pickles are on the shelf right next to the bread. That's how I know you don't eat a good pickle. The good pickle's already cold. You'll learn one day, Bubba. Don't touch me. Kim, am I right? Yes or no? The pickles are by the bread. In the shelf. The regular pickles. The little kosher, the dilly ones. The ones with the seeds. The ones with the goddamn duck on it. Exactly. The ones with the seeds. Those are the good ones. No, those are just your mainstream pickles. The one with the seasoning that's been marinating in there. It's like $8 for a jar. I season my own goddamn picky.

The day you, oh my God, the day you season your own pickles, you can just shoot me in the ass. Because that is never going to happen. I'll season your pickle. Are you, okay, if you had to put $100 right now. Okay. No, $100 is not a lot. I didn't even say that. Okay, if you had to put $100 on Lunchables being next to frozen chicken nuggets, would you do that right now? I would put my life on it.

Please, please give me a monetary value. Please. So you're saying there's no grocery store in the world that has them right by each other? You're a f***er. Oh, you deserve to be squished. I didn't say a specific store, did I? You did. What's the store? It doesn't matter. I'm saying there's grocery stores. I'm just saying there's grocery stores where they have them. Yes or no? And I have seen it. I have seen it. I can't remember which one, but I have seen it. Cam, you are wrong. It's okay to be wrong.

Lunchables deserve to be heated up. That's how they're supposed to be made. Oh, my God. Cook your food. And then they have the little cold apples. They have the little cold apples. You put those in the microwave, it's like an apple pie. You're not cooking the food. It is already ready to eat. It is ready to eat. It is ready to eat. For you Slavic-ass polar bear Viking people, yeah, but sometimes I want a warm meal, Cam. I want a warm meal like a goddamn human, like a middle-class American. You can go get it.

You dumb sack of shit. All right. You know where they have the warm food ready to eat? What, the food kitchen? Is that where I belong, Cam? Because I didn't have a private school like you that had MacBook Pros and iPads. I didn't have carnival food at my field day. Your field day was in a parking lot. Yeah, it was. It was. I know you did that. You had to call your principal chancellor and madam. That's what you did. I go, beautiful afternoon, Lord Marshall.

All right. Let's get out of here. That was a great episode. That was a great episode. All right, P. Fantastic episode. But. Fantastic. I think we need to help some people in their little cute little hearts before we get out of here. I'm down. Bring them in. Without further ado. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Greetings, Lord. How you doing? Secretary Cam. Don't ever touch me again. They can't hear you. The mic's up there. Dear Dr. P. Hello. I need help. Okay. There's a girl that I like. Had for a couple months. Nice. She's tall, beautiful as f***, very respectful, along with 98% of other things I look for in a girl. You're not even talking into the mic. I'm 18. She's 19. Okay. Now here's my problem. Okay. She's my best mate's fiancé. Oh my God.

Oh, wait a minute. They just got engaged about a month ago. Oh, no. And have been dating for several years. But I've liked her ever since he introduced me to her. It was love at first sight. What do I do? This is why I took the class in college and I am Dr. P. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have so many questions. So many questions before I have answers. First of all, engaged at 18? Yeah, wild. Wild. God, your life. Geez, first of all, early start on them.

And that means brains are not even... Fully developed. They don't even make... They're not even making the right decisions at that age. That frontal cortex is still growing. Both of the... Everybody in this situation is just young and goddamn stupid. Like, what is happening? First of all, you're a sick bastard. Um...

I wish there was a follow-up. Did he leave his number? He did not leave his number. Because I would call right now, and I would like to know, is she giving him a little rhythm? Because you know you can tell there's a little rhythm, or is this guy just completely delusional? Let's play devil's advocate. Let's say he's not delusional. And she's giving a little rhythm. There's definitely a couple winks, a couple smiles. This is how you go about it. It's called a dirty Mac. A dirty Mac. You go up to your best mate. First of all, where are you? You found her on the tube. This is what you do.

You go to your homeboy. Be like, hey, bro, I ain't going to lie to you, dog. She ain't the one. Oh, God. Dirty Mac. I don't think she's the one, big dog. This is Dr. P talking, not Peyton. I don't think she's the one, bro. She be kind of. I ain't even. Don't even bring it on yourself. She be kind of looking at what's his name. Somebody that she. We got a double deflect. Somebody that he can't go ask.

Like somebody y'all know of, but you can't go ask that guy. You have no contact with that guy. Somebody that lives in Switzerland or wherever y'all live. God, this is sick work. Hey, bro, I ain't going to lie to you. And you gather evidence first. You be detective. You're in a murder mystery now. The lights went off. Somebody woke up murdered. You got to find out who owns the knife.

You know what I mean? Guess who owns the knife the whole time? You do. You do. You little sick, conniving bastard. Yo. But it's not going to end well for anybody. Even if it does go well, they break up, she loves you, you lost your best mate.

Is that worth it? Is this shot at true love? You're 18, 19 years old. Yeah. You've seen 1% of the people you will ever see in your life. Yeah. Let's explore a little bit. Let's go to... Go on a couple trips. Get on that tube and go to the other part of Great Britain. Go to Essex. Yeah. Sussex. Essence Festival. It's a black festival. I didn't know that. And I wasn't referring to that.

Did you ever read Jet Magazine as a kid? No. We had a bunch of Jet Magazines running around. Is that? If you know, you know. No, it's not ornography. No, I knew it wasn't that. I was just saying, is it like a... It's a black magazine. Yeah, I didn't have that. Jet Magazine. I used to be one to be on the cover of Jet Magazine. Because my mom had a bunch of Jet Magazines. It didn't have anything to do with planes. We all just fly. All right, be careful. But I'm saying, I would say it's not going to go well for anybody. I would say break them up.

Oh my God. Break them up, but you can't have her. You can't put all your eggs in one basket and eat your cake. You can't do that. That's a lot of eggs, a lot of cake, a lot of baskets. What you got to do is you got to end on a win, and your win is breaking them up just so you can't see. You don't have to be around their happiness all the time. Let her be happy somewhere else in essence or wherever. Get on the tube. Let her be happy somewhere else. Go stroll with your best mate. Yeah, so she can get out of sight, out of mind, and you can go find a new love of your life because I promise you'll have 18 more in the next four years of your life. You're 19 years old. You'll be all right.

Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P!

Dr. B, get us out of here, Cam.

Boulder, Colorado. Four days. So you already know this week's secret code. Confuse the casuals. Get your good karma. And get the energy pumped up for the tour. Secret code is T-I-H. Tour is ready. I said H. Oh. Tour is here. Here. Tour is here. T-I-H. Let's go. He didn't say T-I-R. I said T-I-H. Your ears are clogged.

Tour is happening. Tour is here. Whatever you want to say. Pierce has his own ideas. But we absolutely love y'all. The tour is happening. It's right now. We will officially be done with the Colorado show before y'all see us again next week at episode 115. But we absolutely love y'all. And remember, one out of ten quad bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you in four days in Colorado. Hello? And next time. Tickets available now.

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