WE WALKED IN ON A CRIME SCENE! -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast. Hey, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 135. Round of applause, please. Yeah! Go! Yeah!

Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 135. If you're new here, if you haven't already, you look below, you see a subscribe button, is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see a comment saying, is it fulfilled with your name? Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. If you're an audio listener, you can't see this right now, but the set is in spooky season.

It's fourth camera. We got it back there. We got it behind us. And next week is the Halloween episode. So you know co-host Cam and I will be in our spooky season costumes. And now that we have a fourth camera, the fourth camera will be in their spooky season. And we have a special guest for the Halloween episode. And you will be able to see this beautiful, beautiful thing.

this beautiful surprise we have for you next week. But it is a new week here, so be sure to hit the subscribe button, hit the bell button. The live show that we toured is still available. It will be available for the rest of the time of the whole world that we are still here. It's going to be at the top of the link in the description, as well as Patreon, Facebook, Twitch, Discord. Shout out to the Watch Party, and we have a merch drop coming soon.

on Black Friday. We love you so much. Get into that spooky damn season. We love you. And now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

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We got co-host Cam back in the studio! Okay, you're doing- no, no, no, no. Silence it now! Cam wins! If you ever do that again, if you ever stab my upholstery again- Your what? With that upholstery. Upholstery? The couch. Like a chicken? Poultry. A poultry. It's a one chicken. Upholstery. Couches.

linen fabric. Is that a real saying? For someone that thinks they're a wizard in English, it's a very real saying. Regardless, if you bring any tools, power tools, weapons of mass destruction or anything in the slides and you use it on my couch again, you will be put in a half Nelson house.

on camera in front of the audience. Now tell me the difference between a half and a full. You do halfway. It's a half grab. Nelson, you choke him out. Is there one less or more painful? More painful. Which one? Half Nelson's easier to get into. Full Nelson's more painful. Half Nelson's like a JV, like a great value.

CJ played JV basketball until his senior year. No, he did not. No, he did not. Hey, if there's a... Bro, if you're a senior playing any JV... Stop! No, don't do that. No, I love you to death. No, stop. But that's not even that bad what I did to your couch. It's not that bad. You literally murdered my couch. You can just pull it out.

Okay. Are we doomed? Can no one ever sit? Oh my God. No, someone sits on there. They're getting a screw up their anus. No, they're getting a lobotomy. Or not a lobotomy. That's when my grandpa got one of those. He did. It's a fact he did because he wrote left-handed. It's back when we didn't have too many rights, if you know what I mean. They said, oh, you got a headache?

Dude, that's my grandpa. You can't say that. I'm not talking about your grandpa, though. But let's talk about this. Yeah, we're down a screwdriver. First off, faulty screwdriver. We're down a screwdriver. If you're going to stab something, if you're going to leave evidence, make it sturdy. What the f***? What is this? What is this? It's just a knob. You're lucky. It's a pleasure or something. I went on the internet. Normally, that's where you get things. That's where everyone goes to get anything. And so I went on the internet. I was trying to get one of those Elon Musk flamethrowers. And I was going to do like that. And like slow roast your couch.

But then, it took too long to ship. They're not really readily available to get. And we might have gotten evicted from here. Bingo. So let's see. To hell with the shipping. To hell with the quantity of what's in inventory. You wanted to set my couch on fire in a corporate building in downtown Dallas. You wanted to start an open flame. Yeah.

open we have wires we have XLR cables we have mics we have a lot of electronics and you you thought it'd be just a brilliant idea to go and just toast the bitch would it not be aesthetically pleasing to see it ablaze one it'd be hot as shit hotter than it already is two I

I wouldn't have a couch. What would I sit on? We're going to be partners? No, one day we're going to get to the point where you're sitting on the ground while we're recording this. I am telling y'all this now. I'm never shooting an episode while my ass is on concrete. It's on a sin and spit-stained rug. I'm never sitting on it. How was your week, Bubba? How are you doing? How are you feeling? You've done a lot this week, but I don't know if you're getting into that, but get into something fun that we care about.

okay can i just start with the story can i just get straight in well i love your stories you had a great story last week with the starbucks oh my god it was a hilarious okay so you were you were there for that you weren't here for this one okay i don't know if you've seen it yet long story short we went to uh ob appointment went to a baby appointment and on the way back ob ob gyn not sure lot hell of an act that's where you get your not plus that's where you get your cooter scraped

What's it called? For lack of better terms. That's where scraping of cooters happens. For lack of better terms. That's where they scrape some coochie. Yeah. No, but my mom told me that. Your mom told you she went to an OBGYN and got her cooters scraped. No, she didn't say. You sure you want

that as your digital footprint. You sure? You and your mom's story of this mutual understanding is where people go to get cooters scraped? No, she wasn't telling me about her cooters. She was saying just women's cooters and journals get scraped out of OBGYN to get their cells scraped.

Keep going. Can they get their cells? What? They scraped out. They scraped their cells out. Is there a shovel in there? What do you mean scrape? Is it an ice pick? No, you know the little scraper tool they use in the dentist when you get your plaque out? I thought it was that. So we're stabbing vagina. No, no, we're scraping it.

I'm not, but the OBGYN is. Okay, that is where you go for your baby appointments. They put some gel on you. You don't have to have a baby to go to an OBGYN. I believe that's true. No, I know that. Actually, I don't know. Actually, I don't know. You're really uneducated in the common world. I don't know.

You are. Like in shit that matters, you are uneducated in. You just said an OBGYN is where people go to get their cooters scraped. Okay, all the women of the institutional podcast. I think a lot more happens. Maybe I said that in the wrong way, but yes or no, they put their legs up on the game. They do. It's a science. Grow up. What is it called? The OBGYN. No, what is that thing called? I don't know. You said it before and you didn't know what it was. Oh, yeah, what is it? We had a conversation. I know. I associate it with the taste of a Diet Coke.

What is that called? Help me. Because I keep wanting to say pap smear. That's where they get their pap smears done. You, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So what happened at the... At the cooter scraper. At the cooter scraper. So we went to the cooter scraper. Everything was good all as well. We go to leave, right? Yeah. So after that, we were supposed to go to her lash appointment next. Okay. During Liv's pregnancy, she's been canceling a lot of things. She's like, I'm too tired. Not going. I'm too... I don't feel good. Not going. Which I understand, kind of. But it's like...

Be a woman of your word. If you're going to go to something, go to it. So we go to this last appointment. On the way to it, she calls, cancels right then and there. She's like, hey, I'll come next Saturday. So she rescheduled it? I mean, yes, but she canceled her appointment. No, she rescheduled it.

There's a difference between canceling and rescheduling. You're trying to make your wife look bad, and I'm here to save her because she's not here. I love my wife, and she always looks good. She canceled her original appointment. No, no. Then rescheduled. There's two different things. That's why they're called. Cam, we're not going to do this. Your favorite saying of all times, two things can be right at once. She canceled. They can be. This is one of them. No, this isn't. That's why there's two different things. Canceling and rescheduling.

Okay. Break down the science. Canceling is I'm not going to this appointment and I have no further means of saying when the next one is. Rescheduling is saying, hey, this appointment that was originally here is not going to be here. It's going to be this day. That's a reschedule. And that's what she did. Yes or no? She rescheduled after...

Confirming her cancellation of the appointment. No, that would be, hey, I'm going to cancel and I'm not going to tell you when my next appointment is. Wait a couple days and then I'm going to reschedule.

She rescheduled on the phone, yes? So she rescheduled it. She didn't cancel it. If you have something at 10 o'clock and you don't show up, you say, hey, I'm not going to be able to make it, but I can come Wednesday. That's rescheduling. But you canceled the one today. No, that's not canceling it. Holy shit. Canceling. That's why, have you ever been on a booking website? Yes. Like when you book an appointment and you go to your appointment, it says cancel or reschedule.

There's a difference. That's why they're on booking lists. Rescheduling is your... It's in the words. You are rescheduling. Yes. You are rescheduling it. You are scheduling once more. Yes. If you did not cancel, why would you reschedule? That's almost like a secondary. So say you're on your Netflix, right? Yes. Say you're on your Netflix. There is a difference between canceling your Netflix, right?

And then changing the tier of your Netflix. Instead of paying $14.99 for the HD Premium Plus, and you just want to go to standard HD. That's changing it. That's not canceling it. When did we start talking about movies and documentaries? Because I'm putting it into perspective for you. But that's... You just said change. That appointment. That is a changing of appointment. If you have a haircut at...

10 o'clock on a Wednesday. And I rescheduled to 11. And not, no, no, oh, she rescheduled four days later. That's a reschedule. It doesn't matter when it is. She rescheduled, but she canceled her 10 o'clock appointment. No, she, no. Because she didn't go to it. No, she just plain out rescheduled it. Okay, okay. Tell me how it's not a reschedule and it's just a cancel. I'm going to ask you questions first because I was going to speak, but you cut me off. If you have a haircut at 10 and you don't go and you say, hey, I'm not coming. That's different.

Do I just not show up to my haircut or do I call ahead of time? If you, ahead of time by an hour on the same day. Yes, it's rescheduling it. That sucks and that's a cancel. I didn't say it was convenient. Okay, so to reschedule, right? To reschedule, do both appointments still stay alive? What do you mean? So if she had an appointment at 10 and she gets another one at 10 three days later, are they both still active appointments?

For who? For her? Oh, don't you? No. For her? Are they both selective? No. No. So what happened to this one? It was rescheduled for her. Holy shit. But you can't go to macro when we're talking about Liv. The reschedule is the newer one. She rescheduled is what I'm saying. So what happened to her OG appointment? It opened back up. Which means what? It got rescheduled. In terms of Liv. She rescheduled. Holy shit. In terms of Liv, she rescheduled. Yes or no? Yes.

To reschedule something, you redo it. So what happens to the OG? You did what to it? Is it just vacant? No, you rescheduled it. What is another synonym for vacant in terms of an appointment? If we have a meeting, right, and I say, hey, I'm feeling sick. Let's reschedule the meeting. I'm not just going to say, hey, there's a difference between, hey, I just want to cancel this meeting. If you cancel something, there is no plan. Where does it say that in the book?

Where does it say that? That to cancel, you can't think about the future. You know what I'm saying? If you cancel something, there is no plan of further action. Doc, if you were sick and we had a meeting. That is what canceling is. Holy shit. That's the definition of canceling. There's no plans of further action if you cancel something. Where does it say that? That's just the definition, the street definition. Oh, the streets. Oh, we're going by the hood Bible. Who said the hood? Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, you said that. No, no, no, I mean, you said that. You're wrong. I said from the jump. In the comments right now. I said from the jump, two things can be right at the same time. I said that. In the comments. Put it out. Don't say. Don't agree with you, you Harvard little bitch. I couldn't get anything out. If you're confident in this, if you're confident, let's make a wager. And we both have to abide by it.

What's the wager? Shake my head before it is. Hell no. That's a horrible business tactic. It'll be even. No shot in hell. No shot in hell. You can literally say set your right foot on fire. I'll be able to get it because I know I'm right. See, but I still told you beforehand. I didn't say shake before. You got to tell me before. It doesn't matter. I'm just saying it doesn't matter what it is. Tell me before and I might shake. Okay. Loser shaves her head. Nope. No, I got a big head. I can't do that, dog. I cannot leave my skull. Oh!

Oh my God, you're waking up a pink guy. Oh my God. Oh, your mouth's open. Close your mouth. Close your mouth. You just shit and then you went. You know what's weird? Can I put this out there? That you shit and open your mouth after. No, people that shit with the door open. I do that often. That's so weird. Because CJ, yo, CJ lives with me, right? He's downstairs. And if you know CJ, and we said it on Patreon, if you know CJ, his voice,

Butthole is toxic, bro. Can clear an environment. He can shit outside in a park and everybody will smell it. 100%. The dogs will just keel over. They'll just go... And so... And I've been wondering since my six months of living with that freak bag...

I'm in the second floor. He's downstairs. I'm playing the game. I know he's shitting. I can smell it. And I'm like, dude, that's not good with a closed door and a vent running. Why can't I smell it? And I've brought this up to him before, and he just laughs it off. But then the other day, CJ goes, I'm going to go take a shit. And I'm like, okay, I'm upstairs playing the game. He goes, Pee!

P, I said, what? He goes, man, I forgot. I said, forgot what? What did you forget? He goes, man, I forgot toilet paper. So you throw me down some? I said, ah, all right. I go to the pantry. I get the toilet paper. Pantry? Where do you keep your toilet paper?

A hall closet? Or a linen closet? Your toilet paper's in your pantry. Yeah, it's under the table. That's f***ing fascinating. You have sun chips and TP in the same building? Where are you supposed to store your TP? Put it in the laundry room before your pantry? How is that more normal than the pantry? It's not too weird. It's just a little strange. A little strange. I think majority of people keep their toilet paper in the pantry. I would argue the f*** that you do.

I would absolutely not agree with that statement. I would put money that that statement does not hold. No, 100%. No chance. Because I keep my paper towels and my toilet paper in there. It's all my towel papers. It's all my papers and towels. You have a big, vast pantry. Some people don't have that luxury. Your house is big. My pantry is designed for Potter and Dobby. It is.

Strange pantry. Weird pantry. Back to it. You get your toilet paper out of your pantry next to the cookies. I go to the pantry. I go get the toilet paper, and I'm going downstairs, and I see a light in the hallway, and I'm like, why is the bathroom light so prominent with the door closed? Is Christ in there helping him? I look over, and CJ's big-ass calves and forearm are just sitting. I'm like, why do I see him? I say, yo, see.

You got the door open? He goes, yeah. Like, I'm the f***ing idiot. He goes, yeah. And I go, why? That's weird. And he goes, you don't do it? And he goes, everybody does. I'm just shitting. This is a normal thing. I've been like, f*** no, I don't do it, CJ. Like, that is shit. Holy shit. The fan wasn't on, was it? No. You shit with the door open and fan off?

Are you scared of goblins, bro? That is invasive as... Dude, that's wrong, and it's like a little rude. That is objectively wrong. That is objectively wrong. You are disrespectful. I'm on my own floor. And that bitch travels. CJ, you stink like hell, bro. CJ, your ass produces nuclear power. You can straight the second hand.

If you drop a shit from a plane, you know what I mean? CJ, that is bullshit. That's wrong. You deserve consequences and repercussions. I'm eating Chipotle on the second floor. Oh my God. Where the kitchen is. And he's shitting his Chipotle out. Yeah. Door open, vent off, forearms. CJ, you're wrong and you belong in hell, dog. I'm not going to lie. When you go up, when your time is done, when your calendar is expired. How much shit on your coffin? Oh. What?

and your spirit goes up to the Heavenly Father and you see those gates, you know what he's going to do? CJ. God does this. CJ. First of all, I don't think CJ's his real name. Let me put that out there.

No one's name is CJ. Like, that stands for... His name is Cornelius. It's something. Cornelius Jr. No. Son of Cornelius. No, no, no. What if we found out this whole time his name was like Christian or something? Would we start calling him that? 100%? I would punch him in the mouth. Yeah, if you lied that long. No, his name's actually spelt CJ. Yeah, it's strange. I've never seen that. God bless you. CJ, why? It's sick. You know CJ's black? Huh? Aren't you? What? You got black in you, no? Oh. No.

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One fact, we were driving past a homeless person one time and it was like 110 degrees in Texas. Cam rolled down his window and goes, yeah, we're all hot. And he kept driving. I did not say that. I did not say that. I did not say that. I did drive past a homeless man whose sign literally read, I will take anything, just hungry, praise be to God. Something at the bottom, right? This is going to the studio. Roll down my window. I hold out my snack of it.

of the day a banana the guy looks me goes I said you're not that hungry pal the bananas great potassium good food everything speaking of potassium I said pot of see him till I was 13 I didn't realize that's how you said that word pot of see him I said pot of see him I was 13

Did that ever even sound right to you? Yeah. Did anyone in your household ever say potassium? No, just me. But also, you know, my family, they were very open with my exploration and finding things out in life. So,

So I said, potassium, potassium, potassium. I was like, give me that banana with that potassium. Like, my mom would be, she would break things down like this. She would be like, why are you putting on sunscreen, Peyton? I'd be like, so I don't get skin cancer. And then she'd be like, why are you eating this banana? The potassium. The potassium in it. And I was 13, dog. I had pubes. Yeah, why are you talking? Yeah, you stink like hell. You got pubes. You're probably fainting.

fiddling down there a little bit. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's a wild thing. You're nasty. 13, you were past fiddling. 13, you were past fiddling. I don't want to have this conversation. It's so strange. But you know, at 13, you weren't just figuring out yourself. I really wasn't. You were figuring out other... No, I wasn't. What grade are you in? Holy shit. What grade are you in 13? 13 is freshman year of high school. Oh, yeah. You said you were swapping spit on the back of field trip buses in the 5th grade. No, I was in kindergarten. In the 5th grade?

Brother in the fifth grade, I was trading Bakugan. We had different, we had different, we had a lot of different shit. So you bring up cars and I had a car thing, right? So there's a lot of construction outside my house or building like a bunch of stuff. Yeah. And there's a bunch of cars that have been parked there since the beginning of this construction and they haven't moved and it's been months.

Yesterday, I saw a cop go by and put these big pink stickers on these cars saying, hey, if you don't move your vehicle, you're getting towed, impounded. It was a windy day outside, though.

Right? So I was driving past these cars with the stickers on them and the stickers were going like about to fly off. Then my brain started going, right? I said, no, in a normal world, if you don't, if you see your parking ticket, you take it and you don't pay that. You eventually get a warrant. You're going to jail. Yeah. Right. My question is,

If it's a windy day and the parking meter attendant person in slacks and a bright colored vest sticks a sticker of a notice of my inevitable impounding of my car. They put a ticket on my car and it flies away.

And I never see that. And the next time I get pulled over, I'm going to Rikers. You're going to jail. How does that work? It's BS, but that's the system. Is that a fact? That is a fact. Because they're doing it in their system. So regardless of the win took... That literally sucks. There's no way that it can be legal. They need new adhesive. That can't be legal. But it's just like Amazon delivery. You know I don't trust Amazon. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm saying it. You can't tell me I didn't deliver your package...

If I put it on your doorstep and my system clicked everything's good and took a picture of it. Okay, that's the picture is the different thing. They probably took a picture of it. But that's different when it's a legality matter. Whenever I could go to prison, like that's not right. First off, I don't think you're going to go to prison. If you don't pay your tickets, you get a warrant for your arrest.

But that doesn't immediately go to prison. What does a warrant for an arrest mean? First off, that's tickets. If it's your first time offense, they're not going to put you behind bars. Who said it's my first time offense? I'm just saying, in general, if you have a stack of tickets, right, and you don't pay them. So now it's a stack. I'm saying. You said it was a singular picket. I'm just saying. Can we have converse? We are having discourse. Can we say something? The hoopers that hooped in converse, they have like CTE of the legs. Oh, yeah. Like Lil Chamberlain. Like Kenny the Jetsmith. Fuck.

I'm sorry. That was so bad. Oh, my God. I know their toes are probably numb 24 seconds. It's disgusting. But still, with the parking tickets, I don't get that. I don't think that should be fair and legal. It's unfortunate. And I will write a letter to the mayor. Oh, you will? Yes. You're going to be paid away, and you're going to start a union for parking fine for parking...

What would this be? Come join my union of parking fine recipients due to bad weather inclination unfairness group. Exactly. That's where you're going to start. It's a W-T-I-O-N-S. That shit is not going anywhere, and you're going to lose funding. I'm just saying it just doesn't make sense. I don't think it's fair in the legal system. It's not fair. There's a lot of shit that's not fair in the legal system. Oh, you tell me. How do you feel when you set the lights behind you? You're like, ah, God. I'm like, ah. Inconvenience. I go, really, bastard? How do you feel? No!

Just kidding. We can't. We can't. Okay, what's up? Oh. Hey, your brain is firing. Thousand miles. It's firing right now. Oh, my God. Okay, the other night in my house. Day's over. We're going to bed. How many square feet? In my house. Day's over. We're going to bed. Right? Right? You're a bastard. We're going to bed. I get... Stop it. I get in the bed. I get in my nice, cozy, deep pocketed...

Memory foam California game. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I get in my regular ass king bed. It has a nice mattress topper. I lay down. My wife goes, I got to go pee. Nice. I go, all right. But I'm scrolling through my phone. Sorry to live. No, I didn't even hear her really. I'm doom scrolling. You don't get my attention. You don't listen to your wife often. You don't get my attention at all. No attention. I'm just going through TikTok. Big problem in your household. She goes, I got to pee. She goes, okay. All of a sudden, I just hear...

What's that? That is my wife pissing and it sounded like... She pissing Rubik's cubes? It sounded like someone was about to fry some chicken, dawg. It sounded like gas, like grease in a pan. It was like... I said, who's making chicken? I said...

I said, who's chewing on gristle back there? It literally was like, okay. It has nothing to do with her skin. It sounded exactly like frying some chicken wings with a couple sides of some collard greens.

I'm going to let you rock out. Stop it. Hey, you invite me to these dark places and then you don't have my back. That's what happens. Did you ever figure out why her piss was chicken? She said she held it too long. And I said, that doesn't bring heat to your urine. But we're going to wrap this all up. I think I could pass a kidney stone quick. I don't want one. You have a big urethra? I think I have a wide body penis. Like they put a wide body kit on my shit. Like God was like, we're at some aftermarket penis.

It was the base model and there was upgrades on it? It takes a bit, yeah. Do you really have a big urethra? You ever seen a can of chicken noodle soup, Campbell's? You ever seen Chef Boyardee roll down the aisle? That's how you're rolling in that bed at night? No, just rolling in my pants. But tell me what you're going to say. I was going to say to cap the night thing, right? She was peeing. I don't know. That was bad.

To cap the night story, going to sleep at night. She was peeing and then she gets up. She does her whole skincare shit, right? I look in her spot. She's wearing, or she has a muumuu seated there. Okay. A muumuu, for those that don't know, is a nightgown. It's like a big nightgown, like a sleep shirt, right? Yes or no? Curiosity struck the cat. I put the muumuu on.

I was laying in bed. You're really creeping me out, bro. I was laying in bed, shirtless, pantless, just my... Your thong. My thong. My red panty night thong. Yeah. I put the muumuu on. It is...

Peyton, it is unbelievably soft. It's the greatest invention. It's like a dress, bro. It is the greatest. It's cheetah print. No, it's so soft. Some of them have pockets. And I literally said, I'm going to go to bed in this. I went to sleep in it. I woke up the next day. Yeah. I liked it so much. Yeah. I wore it here today. I have it on under my jacket. Because it's so good. Because it's so good.

It is so soft, dog. The best part is it's so good and I love it so much. I got you one. What the? Put your muumuu on, dog. And we're gonna rock out in muumuus and God, I'll take my thank you later. Oh my God. Oh wait. Oh. You got me a muumuu? Yeah, you can take your pants off. Be careful, you're going quick. Where's that old, where's that old snake?

Yeah, you gotta rock out in the muumuu. They are so damn good, bro. You gotta take the shirt off. You might want to get off camera! Just want a sensor. Alrighty. Yo. This is the softest piece of manufacturing. Bro! Y'all take- Oh! Oh, your Ghibli bits! Oh, your Ghibli bits! Oh my god, that snake was coming to- That was coming to- Yo, what is going on? Oh god, it's so sick!

Oh my god! Oh my god! You look like the f***ing wolf when it's in the thing from that movie. What movie is that? Oh my god. Is it Shrek? When the wolf is always wearing a nightgown like cooking? Oh my god. Tell me that's not fantastic. You sleep in these now? Oh my god, it's so good. They're so good, bro.

Oh. Yeah, attack. There you go. Yo, thank you for this gift. This is fantastic. I feel so vulnerable right now. Like, I feel like if I go like this, put a sensor bar. You're Johnson? Here, you might want to tuck. Yeah, this is...

This is, oh, we could do that. We could do that. Like a lady. Like a true lady. I'm having so much hard, I'm having such a hard time finding love, and this is not helping. I'm in a dress. Hey, invite a beautiful young lady over and say, hey, I have a Moo Moo collection. Why are you laughing at me? You don't look right. You look like a grandma. You look like the guy from Split in one of his personalities. It's like this is, it's like.

This is insane. He's an amazing actor though. Okay, okay. The hell with that. Talk about it. Do you like your Moomo? I feel like I could wake up and make the meanest breakfast of my life. Oh my god, just scrambled eggs, my cakes on the backside just wiggling from a man.

Like, I feel like I'm going to wake up in the morning, start cooking breakfast, and a grown man is going to walk by me and smack my head. And just smack your ass while he's filling up his Yeti of coffee. Yeah, dude, this is nice. I thank you for this gift. You're welcome. You're welcome. The fact that... Now, let me investigate you for a little bit. Yeah, here's where it gets... Dude, so you were in your bed with your wife. Yes. You saw her muumuu. You saw her nightgown. Yes. Laying on the bed. Correct. And...

You in your mind said I want that on my body Willingly then you kept it on your body. I went to bed in it Then you got to the point saying I enjoyed that so much I want to see another six seven grown man in it and then I want to do that in front of thousands of people It's exactly how it went down exactly. Hey, I thank you so much for this. This means a lot to me Hey one time for the moomoo's for everybody that wears moomoo's CJ Pierce your next

But I think, I'm thinking about your household, right? No, I can't take myself serious. What, is my ass out? Oh. It's just your thought. Oh. I have a, I have a, this is crazy. This is fantastic. This is fantastic. I have a, I have a thought process. We all do. Yeah. We got them some days. I have a thought. And I was thinking about your house, and one of the only things I like about you and your family is your dog. Okay. I love your dog. I love Ruby. You love her to death.

If Ruby died, you would be hurt. Yeah. Yes. And I was thinking about dogs. Just dogs in general. Like, I want a dog. I love dogs. They're great creatures. They're the gift to the earth from God. There we go. Now we're talking. I think dogs might be aliens, though. If we think about it. Did you know...

That dogs can smell cancer. Animals, it's crazy to me that we're still widely and vastly on top of the food chain. Like, yeah, we can't sniff cancer, but we got thumbs. Okay, but what do you think it would take for a dog to beat us on top of the food chain? Maybe a good thumb? Oh, no. No, they don't. They don't have thumbs. They have dewclaws.

It's called a dewclaw. The thing on their forearm. So what do you think? They have no shot in hell. Not at all. Maybe if they stood on two legs. First off, they can't even fall on their back with grace. They all go on their back and they go and they try to freak out to try to get on the front. They're not stable.

They don't. They're honestly not that smart. Some dogs are very smart. If you can smell cancer, I can barely see. That's an upgrade. When I'm walking past a cafeteria, I can barely tell what they're cooking in that bitch. You're saying this dog's smelling a tumor? But we can go and work. They can't. Dogs work. I take that back. Dogs work. Canine dogs. If you hit a canine, like a police dog, you're going to jail. Same thing as a cop. I don't agree with that. Why not? It's a dog.

But it has a job. It gets a W-9 at the end of the year. No, it does not. It literally doesn't. Holy shit. Dogs don't get paid. They're like, here's your bag of bones. Charge. You did good. Does the owner and caretaker of the K-9 unit get a stipend? What do you mean? No, you just get to take him home.

So you don't get a stipend for it? Oh, I've never been a cop. So you literally lose money. You have to now feed that dog, house that dog, give that dog stuff. I think it's a choice, though, for you to be a canine unit. It's a choice. There's no shot they beat us. We had this argument years ago in college, and I don't think you remember this. But I've always said that dogs definitely speak different languages.

no they don't dogs know english dogs know spanish and dogs know german no they don't yes they do they don't know language we have discussed this multiple times okay but i'm saying no i'm not saying words i'm saying they understand languages they know the difference between english and german they do no they don't okay then why do police dogs why do they speak to them in german what they speak to police dogs in german says who

They speak in German? Yes, they speak in German. Every call out is in German. Okay, that's probably old tactics that started years and years ago and they keep it going. That same reason special forces use special words for stuff. It's just how it's been. Well, you're saying if they don't understand it, why does it matter? Because, no, they don't understand the difference between skateboard and wind deck.

They don't understand. They are trained on repetition and influx and voice. Okay, we're not going to get on school because we had this, but I'm talking about language. Because if I were to go to a canine unit dog and say, Zeit! Say that was one of the things. Zeit! Like in German. Maybe that's German. It sounds German. It sounds something. So if I were to say, Zeit! And it goes and does something. And if I were to say, Sit! And go do something. They wouldn't do the same thing. Because they were trained.

Exactly. Because it doesn't mean they understand. It's not an inflection. I said the inflection and tone the exact same way. They know the language of German. You switched the words. They're handler dogs. No, they're not. They are not. They are not. No, you could train Ruby to get a treat by going, ah! Yes.

No, I'm saying, I'm talking about police dogs. So I'm talking about your little rat. I'm talking about police dogs. Germans, why are they called German shepherds then? Because they were bred in Germany. And they speak German. So English bulldogs are going to be like, hello sir. You got to tip your hat to them. Here's your tea. Yes. He goes, no, whatever they were taught is what they know. Cam.

Holy shit! If dogs were out in the wild by themselves with no people, what language are they understanding there? Where are they born? The German shepherds will understand German. You have to teach them just like you teach everything else. We're not having this debate again. You teach them the same thing you teach everything else. Exactly! You can teach them in Spanish, in Italian, in German, in French. Do you believe dogs can detect cancer, smell cancer? How do they smell that? I don't know. That's unbelievable. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Okay, this is gonna sound strange, but I need you to bear with me. Okay. I found one of my new favorite pastimes. Oh god, knowing you, it's gonna be a sick place. No, it is... You said something I didn't agree with. It's a sick place? Yeah, it's gonna be a sick place. I'm not going anywhere. Location's neutral. I found one of my favorite pastimes, not location. A pastime has to be somewhere. Holy shit. That is not true at all! What do you call baseball?

A pastime? What's baseball saying? America's favorite pastime. You can just be anywhere and watch baseball? What is a pastime? I can watch baseball right now. What is a pastime? Yes.

Holy shit. Yes, you can watch baseball right now. No, I have to go somewhere. I have to go in front of a screen. Holy shit. What is it? It is something to pass your time. Well, you have to go somewhere and pass time. Holy shit. Think about it in the technical stance. You always have to be somewhere. No, no. You want to be technical. You have to be somewhere to pass time. Oh, my God almighty. I said where are you? Oh, my God almighty. That's why I said where. I'm right. Oh, my God almighty. You're just trying to argue now. Don't look at them. Hold on. Don't look at them. Okay. You said technical. What is a pass time?

Something to what? To pass time. And I said, where? You don't have to be at a specific place. You have to be somewhere, though. CJ's favorite pass time is probably playing video games. He has to be where? It's in his house. So he has to be where his gaming setup is. Where is he? He can game in a hotel. He can game in his house. Exactly, where is he? That's why I was just asking, where are you? What the f*** does that matter to me?

about the past time. I was just trying to inquire about your bullshit. Sorry. Don't ask questions. No, you're wrong. You're not. You do have to be somewhere all the time. Oh, we're here. We're too far deep. A past time is what you're doing. It is. It doesn't have to be a location. I said, where are you?

- Don't you change it now! - Two things can be-- - I'm not changing-- - You serpent Harvard bastard! - I said, "Where are you?" I said, "Oh, where?" - Oh my God. - I said, "Oh, where?" - It was the beginning of this. - I said, "Oh, where?" - Oh, you said that! What was next? Since you remember so well, what was next? - I don't remember. - Oh, what was next, you little lip-puckering bastard? What was next? - I don't remember. - You said it has to be somewhere. - Yes. - You have to go somewhere to pass time. - Yes. - No.

A pastime is something you would... You have to be somewhere. You have to be somewhere to pass time. Peyton, you have to be somewhere to live, brother. You have to be somewhere to breathe, you numbskull. If someone said, hey, I had a hard breath, they didn't go, where the f***

They say, why are you breathing hard? A pastime is something you do to pass time. Yeah, I understand. And you always have to be somewhere to pass the time. You always have to be somewhere to do anything in the galaxy. Thank you for agreeing with me. So why would you say that? Because that's true. Like you just said, you have to be somewhere. All right, okay. Where were you? Okay, what pair of shoes do you have on right now? The sky's blue, isn't it? The sky's got to be blue. What color is the sky for your shoe pair? That's not true.

It's not accurate or fair. So what were you saying? What were you saying? Oh my God. If any law firm needs another lawyer, give him an amazing offer and he might take it for a side job. You have to be somewhere to pass time. We're not going to keep doing this. Why would you say that? Because it's what popped up. That is as obvious as obvious can get. So I'm supposed to know where you're at? It doesn't...

To you? It helps me paint the story. Oh my god. So where were you? I was in my living room and my favorite pastime is cutting cardboard boxes. That's my new favorite pastime. And you didn't let me get that out and I had a whole little journey with it. Take me on your journey. It's not even funny. Just let me know where you were at. It's in my living room, you deceitful bitch. I'm so sorry, CJ. Why are you so angry when I'm just trying to inquire? I've had this on since I got to your house this morning.

I am so hot. It's not even funny. Okay. Long story short, we got the house. A lot of new things came in cardboard boxes. I had to cut it down to fit it in my... That was a lot of... I had to cut it down to fit it in my trash can. And using a nice box cutter, a very well sturdy box cutter, cutting cardboard is pretty fun. And it's a good...

You need more friends. Like, I think you need time away from your house. I think you just need to go do some activities. That's in the horizon, brother. I had to. You wanted a spot to sit down? Had to build a seat. You wanted a table to eat on? Had to build a seat. You want to use something? I did it. Why is mine wet? That'd be a you problem. That is a... Where is it wet at? Right here. Like, actually, like, right here.

Am I crotch sweat getting on it? Is your crotch in the shot? Pull it over your knees or cross your legs like a proper lady. I'm sorry. There you go. I'm going to tell a story about... You're talking about houses and cardboard boxes. Whenever I first moved here, I was looking for apartments. Dallas. Okay. When I was moving to Dallas, I was looking for different apartments, right? Yes, you were. You almost got a crotch. And that's a story I'm about to tell. So...

There is a, not that one, not the across the street. No, no, no. I almost moved into a homeless shelter, but I told you that already. This one, I was with my dad and it was in between my first and second apartment. I could upgrade my apartment a little bit. So my price range went up a little bit, right? Bag went up. And so my dad came to Dallas and he was helping me look.

Right? We went to this one apartment, and I was like, oh, it's loft style, so it's two stories. A two-story apartment is sick. That would be great. Bachelor pad, I love it. Business on the downstairs, love making upstairs. No, and that's you again talking about my sexual life, and it's so strange. I'm just saying, like, just to play video games and have fun. Oh, okay. And watch movies. But, so...

I was like, this apartment is sick. We drove there, right? We get into the parking lot and there's trash everywhere in the parking lot. And I said, it doesn't bother me. There's going to be trash in my apartment. That's the kind of guy I am.

we go into the leasing office beautiful young lady like she's about 25 26 i was like oh my god this is even this is even better beautiful like a little realtor leasing office can you give me the tour of my apartment so she goes yep peyton harden i'll take you to your unit i said i love my unit i love the sound of that we're going in right and remember this is two stories

She unlocks it. She's telling us about the unit as she's looking at us away from the door. She opens it up. It is like that's where the sun rests. Like the amount of heat that hit my body. I said, my dad said, oh, shit. And she goes, we keep the AC off.

Whenever people don't live here, saves money. I said makes sense. But do you turn the heat on? Yeah, this isn't natural. We get in there, and I tell you, there was a single foldable lawn chair in the middle of the living room, right? There was wires coming out of the TV port. No TV. Wires coming out of the TV port. No TV. There was dishes in the sink, rusting. Like, there were rusted white, like, dishes in the sink. And I said...

I think someone's squatting here. This looks like somebody is taking up the time to live here. My dad is looking at me. I'm looking at my dad. I'm like, ooh. But it's one of the biggest apartments I've ever seen because I couldn't at the time. This is new to me. We're looking around. I'm starting to get an odor. Oh, no. And it's not like an odor like...

Like farts. It's not like an odor of must. It's an odor of decay. Like an odor of a life ended here. If there's something dead in there. And so I'm starting to be like, ooh. And I'm not going to say why my dad knows, but my dad knows what dead bodies smell like. And he goes, he's starting to get concerned. He goes, he's like...

Hey, somebody write. He's telling me that. And I'm like, nah, this is nice. It's got stairs. It's got a lawn chair and cords. And as we're, as my realtor, my leasing office lady is taking us around this apartment. I could see a look of concern start to amplify on her face. Like she is not prepared of what is happening in here.

We go upstairs, even hotter. He rises. I'm sweating and I can't breathe. And I'm starting to get panicked because my dad's looking like the smell is getting worse. Yeah, and you're smelling death. She shows me the bedroom. There is a single mattress. No sheets. No frame. Nothing. And it's like somebody's like shit in this mattress. And it's like just in the mattress. And it's just on the floor. And I said something isn't right. You know what I mean?

She takes us. Go ahead. I thought you said it. We go over to the room and there is a single man sitting there. I was like, oh my God. No, but it gets weirder. It gets weirder. No way. She takes us to the bathroom upstairs. The only bathroom. She goes, this is the bathroom. We open it up. Right? She opens it up for us. Me and my dad walk in.

I swear to God, it has a sink, a mirror, a toilet, and a tub. The first thing I see is the mirror. It's like somebody threw something at it. It's broken, a shattered mirror. I look down at the sink. There is a hammer in the sink.

Cam, there's glass all around this hammer. I look more into the bathtub. The bathtub is stained red. I swear to God, on Malcolm Jerome, Nathal, Esquire, Hardin, the Third's life, it is stained like splattered red. And there is Polaroid pictures. No, there's not. On my mom's life, dog. No. There's Polaroid images, like three little white people, and they're like ominous like this. And my dad goes, oh, no.

No. And then the lady goes, we got to get out of here. She's like, this isn't right. Like, we shouldn't. I'm so sorry. I said, we ain't living here. And we left. And he's like, we're never going in that motherfucker again. That's the story. I swear to God. What the hell?

So you walked into a potential murder scene. Yes. Your DNA and evidence is now there, and you're going behind bars for 10 to 15. No, no, no, no, no. I didn't. I walked into it. No, I know, but what if one of your little hairs fell out from your butt? Like, what if a little butt hit? I think there's enough blood and DNA and shit mattresses to get somebody else's DNA. But there's crooked cops. See, there's another white man trying to put a black man in prison. Go ahead. Oh, no.

Oh, no. I was doing devil's advocate. No, that is insane. It was the weirdest. Say you swear on the red stains. I would call my dad right now. On my mom's life, I swear to God. Someone really died in there? That's not funny. It's the apartments. Like right when you're driving back home, they're to the left on the toll up there. Show me today. I'll show you.

It's insane. I swear to God. Yeah, and so hot. So hot. First off, this might be a very weird detail, but my ADHD kind of took it. There's only one bathroom, and it was upstairs? Why is there only one? Why would they give you two floors, but there's not a guest bath? It's like a loft style. I don't know. It's technically a one-bedroom. Oh, okay, okay, okay. I was about to say, I'll be damned if I'm watching the game downstairs. I'm like, I got to go piss. And I got to go up the stairs? Holy shit. That is wicked. Yeah. Like...

What if you would have lived there, bro? I wouldn't have. What are you talking about? What if I signed the lease to a murder apartment? But I'm saying, just say, here, play with me, play with me, right? That sounds wicked. You put me in a dress and say, I'm going to play with you. And we're both in Moomoo's. Here we go.

Play with the scenario. Say you get there. You literally have to go to bed tonight. And you, like, through the phone. You already put your deposit in and everything. Matter of fact, that. You saw the tour online, but they showed you a done-up one. You get there. She hands you your keys. That's your apartment. Right. Do you stay there? Like, your parents are gone? Answer that for me. Okay. Answer that for me. No, you answer it for me. Let's add some more. Am I staying in the murder apartment? Cam, I'll sleep under a bridge before I sleep in it where people got killed. Are you kidding me?

That's true. You don't even watch scary movies. I've never been to a haunted house. You think I'm living in one? What would you do if you found out somebody was squatting in your house? Kill them. Can you do that? Maybe we can't keep that in. That was a bit much. But you come in one day and the guy's just running out of your front door with a backpack on. Call the cops.

But then, like, how do you feel? You feel eerie? I feel... You've never got your house broken into? No. Oh, it's such... Have y'all gotten your houses broken into? It's one of the most invasive things ever. Oh, I bet. Oh, my God. Yeah, I would hate... It's like even the day after, you're looking around like, somebody was in my home. Like, it's just like...

That's why I hate in the movies when people get their shit broken into and stuff and they're just chilling there like normal. Oh, I gotta go to work. I would be sitting with a sawed off on my couch waiting for someone. Holy shit. Okay. Can I put my pants back on? No, no, no. You have to stay in the spirit. I feel like it keeps popping out. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. Ching ching!

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Cha-ching! Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. Okay, I've been dying to ask you this. I've been dying to answer it. Last week, you don't even know what it is. I don't. Last week, me and Liv sitting on the couch, everything's normal, right? She's fantasizing about the baby coming. Watch it, guy. Watch it. Put those eyes down. You're right, they're down. She's fantasizing about the baby coming, and she says something that does not sit well with me at all, and then she tried to die on the hill. What'd she say?

I can't wait for Bubba to be here. It's going to be so cute. I can't wait to play peekaboo with him. Play peekaboo with him? I want you to repeat that. I can't wait to play peekaboo with him. Peekaboo? Yeah. Oh, no, no. Peekaboo. Your wife is country as shit. She said, I can't wait to play peekaboo with him. And I said, what the hell is a peekaboo? It's peekaboo. She goes, no, peekaboo. Yeah, no, she's definitely wrong. 100% wrong. And I said, it's...

Why do you even think that's acceptable? Well, she's country. She says most things wrong. It's not even her accent, brother. She thought there was a reasoning behind it. Oh, she genuinely thought the game was called Pick-A-Boo. She said you hide your face and you're picking what face to give to give the boo. So it's Pick-A-Boo. No, yeah, she's just wrong. And I said, are you okay? Like, are you drunk? That's not right at all. Isn't it weird that I used to play the game like this with my mom?

No. Okay. That's cute. And we would have like... What age? This is where it heavily matters. You go, I don't know, 17. No, middle school. Like middle school, elementary school.

And then she would like, I would wake up on Sunday mornings and she would be cleaning and she would have Fantasia going. Or Keisha Cole. And I'd go in and like I would pretend to help. I'd pick up like one or two socks and then we would, she'd have a mirror in her room and we would dance and sing in that mirror. That's a beautiful memory. I used to lay down with my mom and play with the back of her head to go to sleep. Excuse me?

You used to lay, you'd spoon your mother. No, no, no, no. I would lay in the bed with my mom. We were not cuddling. I was quite young, like six, seven. Yeah, that's fine. But my security blanket, my sensory thing, I would lay and watch her show with her. And I'd take my hand, I'd stick it right up in here in her hair. And I would just go right there.

And it was my security thing, and I fell asleep. I'm being very careful of what I say. That's fine. Lisa will get your ass. Hey, but apparently, I think Gabe did that too to his mom. Gabe said he did to his mom. And then Gabe also would stick his feet down Liv's pants on the backside and say, it's warm in there.

There's certain things that don't need to make the internet, right? I think we need to protect our friends and we need to protect our family. It's all childhood innocence. They would cuddle. They're very close in age. Okay, you never said what age this was. I didn't know. Like Liv was probably five. He was like three. Yeah, I shit in the bathtub with my brother all the time. He has a thing with corn now. I shit corn in the bathtub. Oh, I remember. Yeah. He doesn't eat it no longer because of that memory. Every time he sees it, it always reminds him of that.

Oh my god. What? You said corn, and I just remembered. Oh. My. God. Almighty. Give us grace and mercy right now for what I'm about to say. No, it's not- Oh, it's being said. No, it's not bad though. It's just y'all being bad friends. No, the other night. Oh my god.

Peyton calls me up. Hey, what's up, bro? Hey, just talking regular shit. I go, what's in the bag? Oh, I just went to Target. None of your business. Typical Peyton response. I go, no, no, show me what's in the bag. Yeah, you're always in my business, bro. Because it's like 10.30 at night. He goes, I'm hungry. I go, all right, what'd you get? He goes, don't judge me, though. All right, no problem.

First, I got a mega bowl. I said, I didn't even know they made those. What is that for? It was a family-sized bowl. That was for entertaining. Yeah, so that bowl is meant for you put the stuff in the bowl and people take the shit out of that bowl and put it into their individual plates. That shit could have been like a Halloween candy bowl. Yeah, exactly. It was huge. It was a huge bowl. So I got this for me to put my food into my bed because I'm trying to be a cleaner guy.

I go, all right. Yes. So that's the number one thing. I'm trying to eat better because everybody says eat better. But this, oh no, it's not about eating. It's about being clean. You said you got the bowl so there's no more grease and blood stains. No, it's not. What?

I got the bowl so I could eat cleaner! Holy shit! Oh my god, you're going back on your word! You said you got the bowl! Tell me what I said. And I never said don't judge me. I was excited to show you because I thought you were gonna be proud of me. And I was proud. Oh, really? Tell the story and show me where the proudness was. You didn't originally say the bowl was so you could have it. No, it's not, but keep going. I don't want to argue.

He gets a big ass bowl so he can eat in his bed and eat healthier, eat cleaner. So I go, all right, cool, dope. What'd you get to eat? And my first thing I said, are you just going to put your Chipotle in that bowl? He goes, oh no, no, no. Let me show you what I got. Pulls out a bag.

Steamed sweet corn. This is a family size bag for like a side dish for your family of four. It is literally a gallon size bag of steamed sweet corn frozen. I don't think bags are sized in gallons. Oh, there's different sizes, buddy, because you didn't get the single serving. God knows. No, no, it was a family size. It was a family size bag. So I go, that's strange, but all right, I'm here.

Next bag. Maple sweet glazed carrots, same company, same size, family size bag. He could feed a Thanksgiving feast with two side dishes now. And I go, what the f*** are you making? And he tops it all off with a very simple and healthy breaded chicken tenders. Plant-based. What?

breaded plant-based chicken tenders, a two-pound bag of breaded plant-based chicken tenders, also frozen. So I then simply go, oh, well, what else you putting in there? He goes, that's it. I go, really? That's it? He goes, yeah. I go, you're not putting like mashed potatoes, maybe some seasoning, a sauce? He goes, no, bro. It's good. Sweet corn, sweet carrots, and chicken. Yes. That's all I need. Where's the weird part?

All of it. How? That whole story is how? How? You,

It was 11 o'clock at night. Okay. Because my eating habits are at night, whenever I go to bed, I get hungry in my bed. And normally what I do is like every night, like midnight, 1130, I'll go to Whataburger or McDonald's and I'll eat a big ass burger in my bed. And the other night I was sitting there and I was like, I literally feel myself dying. Like I don't feel good. And like I was grossed out at my mere existence. Like I was like, this isn't right. I was looking at my fingers or sauce on them. And then I heard all y'all's chirpy ass voices in my head. Yeah.

Eat cleaner. We want you around. Come on. Cook something. Don't die early. So, my ass, I was like, okay, I'm going to go to Target because it's elegant. I'm going to go to Target and I'm going to go and find some meals. And so what I did was I went into the Target store

And I couldn't, I was so damn confused because I was like, how do y'all eat healthy? Where is all the healthy shit? Like, what is this stuff? Like, I didn't understand anything that was in there. And then so I saw a fit guy. He had a cut off shirt and he had muscles and he looked like he ran a lot. And so I was like, I'm going to follow him. I followed him through the store. And I was like, I'm just going to get what he gets. He got a bag of trail mix. I said, you burn.

I'm not eating that. I'm hungry. I'm a 6'7", 210 man. I'm not eating that shit. And so then I saw two athletic women. One of them had the calves of CJ. So I was like, she has to know what she's doing. She has to. And so I followed her.

Oh my god! Oh my god! You just followed a woman that has the same physical features as your roommate around a Target at 11pm. Because I wanted to see what healthy people eat. She was a healthy woman. I went to her and she got these little crispy ass, little biscoff, little ass, nasty ass chips. And I said, "Who's eating that?" I was like, "That's for kids. Like, I'm not eating that." So then I was lost.

And so I said, I said, I'm going to go around and I want chicken. I know the chicken is going to fill me up. So I went to the chicken aisle and all the chicken was nasty. It was a little dino nuggets. And I was like, that can't be good. I want to find something healthy. I found the plant-based nuggets. Plant-based I've heard is good. It's what all you hippies eat. So I was like, I'm gonna eat that.

So I grabbed that and I was like, I need sides. I need sides with this. I was like, where are the sides at? I go to the frozen aisle with the sides. They had corn. I heard corn's good. I heard green potato. What did I get? Maple sweet glazed carrots. I heard the carrots were good. I looked at the packaging. I was like, I don't know what sodium is. So I just kept going. I put it in the bag.

And I'm proud of myself. I got two big-ass waters, too. Huge waters. I'm so proud of myself. And then I go home, and CJ comes in laughing. He goes, what is this? He goes, are you making, ask me if I was making funnel cake or something, the smell of it. And so I was like, he's like, are you making waffles? And I was like, no, I'm eating healthy. He laughs, and he's taking pictures of my bowl. I call you, and you and your wife are laughing at me. And so y'all can't have it both ways.

Either I'm going to eat unhealthy or I'm going to eat my healthy weird stuff. I'll allow you. I don't understand what I did wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just strange. Why is it brought up? Because it's strange. How? What's strange about it? What's the difference between what I'm doing and what you do? Let's call a spade a spade. First off, you just said something that I didn't even realize in the moment. You didn't even eat real chicken.

You didn't even eat real meat. I know it was healthier though. It was plant-based chicken. Yeah, but it was healthy. What is that? Was it breaded cauliflower? I don't know. I didn't, I didn't read it. It just said healthy. Did it taste good? It had a green leaf on it. It's like, that has to be healthy. Like that's healthy. And I felt better when I woke up. Hey, then honestly. No, piss on my grave and call me Suzanne. I will. No, I'm not dabbing you up. Come on.

There we go. Congrats. One of the roles in your life, other than being a tyrant in mine, is whenever we were coming up together in college and when I first met you, you've always been invited to the cookout. Everybody has told me whenever I didn't know you and people were telling me about you, they were like, Cam's with it. Cam's invited to the cookout. Everybody loves you from my culture, right? Thank you. But I really want to test if you're invited to the cookout. Yams.

Like what would I bring? Do you think I like okra? If you were to just guess. 100%. You love fried okra. Oh my god, you smack fried okra. I love okra. Okay, so I'm not guessing foods? No, we're gonna do the black acronym test. This is a very popular trend on TikTok and I want to test you to see if you're really invited to the cookouts, dog. Okay, okay.

Okay, so basically, I'm going to give you a scenario and then an acronym, and you have to say what the acronym stands for. Blackronym. I'm not repeating that one. Can I see the letters? It'll help me memory-wise. Yes. Or you can write it down if that makes it easier. All right, Cam's got his whiteboard now, and are you ready? I'm ready. For your blackronym test. My blackronym test. You said you weren't going to say it, by the way. Oh, my God, I did. I did. All right.

Your mom would say this when you were hungry. W-G-F-A-T-H. It's easy. Your mom would say this when you were hungry. Oh, shit. Let me make it easier because I think the white person made this. Your mom would say this when you were out and you were hungry.

Oh, my God. He's not going to do well. Are you kidding me? I might be choking on the first one. I feel like I'm a lot bigger than Longwood. Okay, you're in the car. Okay. You talk to your mom, and you say, Mom, I'm hungry. She would say, Well, go. Oh, my God, Yam. Oh, the black culture is not accepting you anymore. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Mom, I'm hungry. Your mom would say this.

I am stooped. Well? Well is not it. Tell me the first word. We. We. Oh, we got food in the house. There we go. I think I was dead stuck on well. Okay, that was a warm up. Round of applause. You always got to stretch before you lift. Come on. Here we go. Okay. I'm locked in now. Your mom would say this when she was mad and you were crying. S-A-T-C-B-I-G-Y-L.

S-T-C-A. Stop all that crying before I give you something to cry about. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I told you. Boy, you better stop all that crying before I give you something to cry about. What's the accent? What's the accent? Whoa. Whoa. Stop all that crying before I give you something to cry about. Okay. There we go. I told you, I'm locked in. You just need to warm up. I gotta warm up. Your mom would say this before you went into a certain place. W-W-G-I-T-S-D-T-N.

Your mom would say this. You're going up somewhere. You park the car, and your mom would say this before y'all went in. WW? Yes. It's the Ws. You and your mom just pulled up to this place. Okay. You're about to go in. She says this right before you go in. When we get in the store, don't touch nothing. There we go. When we get in the store, don't touch nothing. When we get in, that was the part that was throwing me. Okay, we got a couple more. I'm telling you, I'm at the cookout. Hell, I'm bringing dishes.

You don't get to tell you don't get to say what your place is at the cookout. Okay, okay. Enjoy the music. Happy I'm there. Enjoy the music and the food baby. I'm in a tank top. There we go. I'm happy I'm there. You'd wear a tank top to the cookout? Show my skin. Prove that you're not one of us. Your mom. Oh my god. My mom said this all the time when I made her mad. Okay. All the time. Your mom would say this when you tried her. It's very vague. Okay.

I-B-Y-I-T-W-A-I-C-T-Y-O. I brought you in the world and I can take you out. Let's go. Cam's going to the cookout. Boy, I brought your ass in this world. I can take you out. I've never seen. I've got to stop the accent. You've got to stop. And I've never seen CJ look so confused. CJ's like, they said that to you? CJ's like, they're speaking in code.

Is there one more? Was that it? Was that the last one? That was it. That was good. I'm proud of you. That was fantastic. I'm proud of you. Am I worthy? Should we do a white version? Am I worthy? Can we do a white version? Can we find one? Hold on. Oh, this is going to be bad. Wait, for me or you? For you, right? For me, yeah. All right, so I couldn't find a white acronym list, but I found this. Things only white people would say. Oh, my God. Okay, so it's basically, it's like I give you the sentence, and then you have to finish the answer. Okay. Okay, here we go. Do we need that whiteboard? I don't think we need the whiteboard, to be honest. Okay.

It's such a big whiteboard. Good morning. Alright, here we go. Only white people are corny enough to say this joke after saying goodbye to someone on New Year's Eve.

See you blank blank. See you next year. It's like dog. You're gonna see me tomorrow. Just be normal. I've been taking a bath since last year. Yeah, I oh my god. That's the worst. That makes my hair stay. Yeah, Ruby when she gets that little predator mohawk. Spike. Yeah. Okay. White people love to say this phrase when entering a crowded elevator. Whoa. It's a blank in here. It's a party. It's a party. It's a

Be like, just get in or stay out. Get in or stay out. You go, hey, Brian, it's pretty crowded. Just go ahead and stay out. All right. Why people love to say this when they hear a child crying. Well, someone's blank blank. Someone's having a bad day. Close. I thought that too. It's only two blanks. Blank blank. Well, someone's blank blank. Oh, someone's not happy. That was crazy, dog. Well, someone's not happy. Well, someone's not happy. All right, Thomas. The baby's just...

It's not even your kid. All right, here we go. White people love to use this phrase as a way of saying they will get there somewhere. Oh, my God. Can't read, can he? White people love to use this phrase as a way of saying they will get somewhere as fast as they can. I'll be there in a blink. I'll be there in a jiffy.

What the is a jiffy dog? What is it? I'll be right there in a jiffy. I'll be there Bro, that's hilarious anymore. Okay, here we go White people love to say this in response to a server who is asking if they are all done with their food quote still blank blank blank So I'm still blank So working on it

It's blank, blank, blank. You still give me the first. I'll tell you the two last blanks are small words. Very small. I said on it. That's right. So what's the first blank? Still eating on it? No, close. Come on. Way more white version of that. Come on. I'm finishing my plate. She goes, you still can't take your plates. And I go, no, I'm still. What is it? It was a small eating, a small eating. Snacking on that? No. Come on. Come on. You know it. You 100% know it. Snacking? Snacking.

I don't know. It's like a creature would do it. This is the next level of white I've never heard. White people love saying this when a server asks them if they're done with their plates. And they respond, still nibbling on it. Nibbling. I can see Lisa said that. Oh, no thanks. I'm still nibbling on it. She goes...

Oh, my God. Hey, you did good. I did good. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, you're welcome to our unseasoned cookout. All right. You're welcome to our unseasoned cookout. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I appreciate y'all back there, guys.

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I need, I just, it's a quiz. It's not, oh my God, I did that again. It's not that big. Oh, okay. I had a question. Do you? Oh. No, but I don't want to answer you anymore. No, it's okay. You say that. You seem more excited about mine. Okay. Basically, the other morning, Liv was like, hey, I really want donuts. What the hell was that? I farted. Oh. I really want donuts. It's like a butt queef. It like whistled out. It's like someone lit a match.

Dude, I would do anything to feel one queef out of my urethra. Anything. I just want to know what it feels like. I feel like it would feel like a Komodo dragon breathing fire. I think it would be kind of relieving. If you queefed from your hole, I'm sorry, CJ, but let's call a spade a spade, brother. If you queefed from your penile hole, that would probably hurt. Would you rather burp through your Johnson or...

or fart through your mouth. You're kidding me. I'd much rather burp through my Johnson because I would... Wait, do you have to be... No, seriously. No, seriously. No. You can do a flaccid burp. That should be like... Like a little trunk. You go... You go... Oh, I got spastic reflux.

Yeah, no. You'd burp through your Johnson or you'd fart through your mouth. Farting through your mouth is just like a stinky burp. Yeah. And worse noises. But my burps are almost, they're pretty common. I apologize every time I burp because I know it's not like, I don't have a cute burp. Oh, yeah. Mine's like, and it's like CJ's farts. Yeah, when I burp, it sounds like I'm in the middle of an exorcist. Yeah, but go ahead. Ask your question. Very simply.

Wife goes and gets donuts. I said, surprise me. She comes back with sprinkled donuts. And I said... That's nice. What kind? What kind of sprinkles? What do you mean, what kind of sprinkles? What kind of icing? No, no, no. What kind of sprinkles did she get on it? Sprinkles. There's regular sprinkles. Just a sprinkled donut. Well, there's different kinds of sprinkles. There's not a universal sprink.

There's different kind of sprinkles. Okay, they weren't festival sprinkles, so they were the regular sprinkles. No, but like, what kind? There's different kinds of sprinkles. Are you the donut cop? Who are you? Sprinkle police? This is the second time in this episode I'm trying to inquire and you're getting on me. Relax. What kind of sprinkles does she have? What are you asking me right now? What are you actually saying? Yes or no, there's different kinds of sprinkles. There's sprinkles? Yes. Do you know the different kinds of sprinkles? Am I taking a cooking class today?

There's sprinkles. The flavor is sprinkles. You think your big back ass would know about the sprinkles? Okay, there's like little Halloween ones and there's festivals. There's festive sprinkles? Then there's regular sprinkles. No, they got dot sprinkles. Like the little circle dots. Long sprinkle, short sprinkle, dot sprinkle. Festival sprinkles. Long sprinkle, short sprinkle, dot sprinkle, festive sprinkles. Which one did she get you?

Okay, takeout festive. Yeah. Long and short, never seen the difference. There's the stick ones and the dot ones. You've never had a thick sprinkle? Like a sprinkle that's like, I know I'm about to have these sprinkles. I thought he didn't like sweets. I don't, but I used to steal donuts from the local AGB. Maybe my dad would just take them out of the bakery and eat them and never pay for them. Sorry, Mark. This is a fact. So I know about my sprinkles. I hated the dot ones. They reminded me of the dentist. It was like, it hurt.

Are you kidding me right now? Yes or no, there's different kinds of sprinkles. Okay, there's different shapes. If you're calling that, sure. Yeah, there's different kinds. That's not the same sprinkle. A long sprinkle and a dot sprinkle is not the same kind of sprinkle. It's a longer dot sprinkle. That's a fact.

It's like a red velvet cake and a vanilla cake. They're different. It's like a red velvet and a chocolate cake. No, no, no. That's not what I'm arguing, though. That's different flavors. So if I were to give you a red velvet cake, but it was just a chocolate cake, would you be upset with me? No. I would be upset with you. Why? They're different. Isn't red velvet just chocolate? Kind of. It's literally just chocolate with red coloring. Yeah, well, it's different. But it's chocolate cake. It's different, though. The name's different and the appearance is different. That's why I would be upset. Why does that matter, though? Because I want a red cake. I want a red velvet cake. Can you be f***ing with me?

Real can you just be real a second? I just know what I like is it am I hooked like a lie detector test? I just know what I like I was asking you

So about her sprinkles, right? She got me a donut. I hate it. All right. All right. She got me a sprinkle donut. What kind of donut or what kind of sprinkles? Sprinkles. Dude. What kind? Dead ass. What kind of sprinkles? Dude, the regular sprinkles. I'll just talk to Liv. She knows. I have the regular sprinkles. Okay, not the little ball ones. Okay, I hate those. The regular sprinkles. That's the worst. Okay, what's the worst kind of donut? Oh my. There's some horrible donuts. Campfire donuts. There's a campfire donut. There's nothing on it. It's just dough. It's literally just dough. No glaze? No. No glaze. So you just round bread. It's literally bread. That's not a donut then.

That's just round bread. Blueberry donuts are unbelievably good, you stupid sacrilegious idiot. I've never had a blueberry donut. Blueberry donuts would change your perspective on existence. You know what I hate? The donuts I hate? The ones with the jam and jelly inside. Oh my god, I hate those. Oh my god, I hate those. Don't look at me like that. Oh my god. It's the worst kind of donut. Oh my god, the jelly-filled long johns.

What am I eating, a salami sandwich? No, not the ones that come like this. They're still rounded, but anything with jelly inside. If you're injecting my donut, I don't want that. I don't want filling in my donut. Nobody's injected your donut with jelly.

Oh, my God. Oh, you've been to a weird donut shop, have you? No. I've been to a common donut. Your donut shop in your local neighborhood got shut down. No, I had Round Rock Donuts in my local neighborhood. You know that's gas. That's a Round Rock. Okay, what are the worst? Let's go top three worst donuts ever. Long Johns. They have to be. Long Johns? It's the joint that looks like a skateboard that you can put jams in. Those aren't donuts. Those are called something else. That is a...

It's a donut. No, those are called something else. Like a quiche. A quiche? It's like a quiche. A quiche is an egg-based dish. It doesn't have to be egg-based, but a quiche is something you bake at a breakfast potluck. No, but it's an Italian kind of thing. Let me not put race on it. There's enough to be partial here, but there's a long donut, and it has an egg. Long, John. What about a bear claw?

You like a good bear claw? I've never seen that before. It's like a big brown one. It looks like a bear claw. They give it nothing. I have seen that, but that's a little sub-part of me. I don't like, I just want a round donut. What about a glazed apple fritter? Never had that.

I'm not experimental with my donuts. You need to be. Like, when we used to go to college and y'all would get those cinnamon toast ones, and I was like, y'all are just big backs. What about the 2021 special from Hertz Donuts, the Cookie Monster one that came with the Oreo on top? Too much. Too much. I don't like that. Just give me a plain Jane donut. Glazed. Cinnamon swirl. I don't like it. I like glazed. Cinnamon toast. The best kind of donut, though? Best kind of donut? Glazed donut. Best kind of donut? Donut hole. No shot. Powder donut? Oh, my God. A powdered donut? Oh, CJ feels me. Oh, my God. CJ knows. Speaking of the powder, didn't we...

How does the powder stick to the powder doughnut? It's a fantastic question. How does it? Well, it has to be like moist bread, moist dough. I assume... You got time out. No, no, no. Okay. I was just going to assume how they were made. It would be basically you get the bread and you just roll it in a ton of powder. Powder, there we go. But how does it stick? Like the glaze... Powder is sticky. Sticky.

The powder is sticky. Have you ever had flour and you put your hand in some flour and you put your hand back up, you got flour hand? Barely, though.

and you can literally go like well i'm saying they roll it around and they have like this they they take the the ball of donut right and they have a container of of powder and they they they swish that around a little bit yeah and then you got powdered donuts okay what donut factor did you work at what documentary did you watch i didn't but i went to the blue belt factory once i'm on a field trip did you really was it cold did you take field trips to the grocery store

Dude, you went to a strange-ass independent school this year. I'm going to be honest, bro. You could probably get a lawsuit. There's going to be something about Pflugerville ISD. There was. Oh, there's going to be more. Here in 20 years, those commercials are going to be like, if you ever went to Pflugerville ISD, you are entitled to compensation. You have mesothelioma. You have mesothelioma. You and your loved ones are entitled. No, yeah, I saw. We went to the grocery store, and we got Buddy Bucks.

What the fuck? Oh, you don't know the importance of Buddy Bucks. Oh, y'all didn't have H-E-B in Dallas. We didn't have H-E-B. H-E-B is, if you don't know, it's like the God-sent grocery store. It's so good. But they don't have this anymore. It's all pristine now. But they have Buddy Bucks. Basically, there's a man in a costume as a bag, a grocery bag. His name was Buddy. And he had bucks, like little dollar bills. And you could take the dollar bills. A coupon?

Well, you could take the dollar bills and go into a vending machine, and it had these little balls that had the caps on them, and you could get a toy. I had so many chains. That's sick. Yeah. I don't know why we took a grocery trip, like a grocery store trip for the... That is strange as hell. They were trying to teach us how to do...

I think. My coolest thing from grocery stores when we were young, they had the little game systems in the back plugged in with the TV. Oh, the TV, yeah, Walmart. The controller was chewed to hell. I said, what rabbit kid got mad enough at a test run demo of a video game that he chewed the analog stick off of a Game Boy controller? I said, whose kid is that? Why is he not on a leash? If he has the willing power to go...

And rip it off of an analog stick. He's a freak. Or she. Kids are freaks. But you know what else is freaker that's outside of humans? These robots that are coming around. Elon Musk and his robots. Dune?

Me and Liv had a conversation, and we said we could see you buying one. The $30,000. We could see you buying one. I think I'm going to get one. They have payment plans. I can't afford that straight out. Oh, yeah. They definitely have payment plans. You could probably finance it like a car. But have you seen it? Dude, they talk, bro. Talk to you. They help you with your tasks. Things can get strange, bro. Things can get real dirty real quick. I missed. Things get wicked in a household. No, but imagine how productive I would be with this damn robot, bro. What would you want?

Here we go. Role play. You just bought an Elon Musk robot. Moo! I role play as animals. Is that back yardigans? What is that? Moo? I was a cow. I was a cow. Keep going. What, am I supposed to milk you? What, I'm supposed to milk you? Oh no, okay, good god. You just bought an Elon Musk robot. Yes. You take him home, you plug him in, set him up, software update. He's good to go. I don't know, is it double A battery?

What do you tell him to do? What's the first thing? Clean. The first thing. Yeah, you go, help me. You go, God help me. Can they cook? If I, okay, first of all, if I have a robot, if I have an Elon Musk Tesla robot, first thing, he is my slave, dog. He belongs to me.

Anything I tell him to do, he must do. I know they can talk. If he backtalks me, he's going in a bath, dog. He's going underwater. You say that. I'm telling you, this shit's going to get real close to Will Smith's hit movie. I don't believe that. What if you went, that's not what I told you to do. And he was like, I tried my best. And you went, are you backtalking me? He goes, yeah. And you went, all right. You went to strike him, and he went like this. You literally went to strike him, and he was like...

I'm like, no, I don't fear robots. I don't think any robot. I don't think any robot. We could shut down in a second. Any robot. We have the artillery. Is that not a word? The artillery. Artillery. Artillery. Whatever. We have the artillery and we have water and I have the power of electricity. I can literally shut off the breaker. Not charge him.

Throw them in a bathtub. See, but that's all... Hit them with my car. But that is... You got to think... Now you need to think macro. Okay. Think about when cars first came out. You could probably take out a Model T with a hammer. You could literally probably just whack it a couple times. That bitch is done. Yeah. It's not driving nowhere. Yeah. Now you got cyber trucks that can withstand bullets. Yeah. Bow and arrows. Yeah. Flames. Right. Okay? So imagine the evolution of robots. Right. It's going to get to a point...

God knows the military has already had these. Yeah, they have robots. Already had them, working on them for years. Imagine the next 15. But why? I think it's a little racist. I think it's racist that y'all automatically...

put harm and danger on these beautiful creatures of robots. Why can't they be loving and accepting? Because the race of robots, you're like, they're angry. Don't put them in our schools. But you're already, dude, you're the problem. You're already the problem. These robots. That I'm accepting? No, you're calling us racist, okay? Prejudice. You're being prejudiced. There you go. But you said they. You said they. They, yes. They.

They're their own entity. Oh my God. He's a part of the problem, bro. How's that a problem? You're already giving it like soulful characteristics. It is supposed to be property. No different than a car. No one would ever be prejudiced to a car. I talk to my cabinets. I go to the grocery store and talk to lettuce, bro. I'm like, you're not getting picked today and I apologize. And then he goes, turns back around. It's a head of lettuce. Yeah. Turns back around.

I think they have cognitive reasoning. They have thinking. They do. They can talk. They understand what's happening. So why would I not talk to them like a they? I am nice to everybody. I'm not a mean soul. I'm nice to inanimate objects, too, until they screw me over. But that's scary, bro. That's a different line. So if I had a robot, you wouldn't let it... I'd dab his ass over you, too. And then I say, Malik, your kid is born. Your kid is born, right? I have my robot. We have a great rapport, me and my robot. I'd hope. And I say, hey...

Me and I buy. See? Are you going to call him I buy or are you going to call him Randy? Like, give him a name. I'll probably name him Thornton. Thornton. That's a good robot name. Thornton. Thornton, yeah. Hey, me and Thornton are coming over. He wants to hang out with your son. Oh, no. See, that's wrong. No shot. Why? He doesn't get access to my intimate life. But, okay. He can hold my box. That sounds...

Absolutely wild! I'm like, "Good morning, Thornton!" He's just like this. No, he can lift things for me, he can paint, he can cook. You're not holding my kid. Why? That's my job. The robot's job is to aid your existence. Okay, but say-- Not join your existence, or then we're in the revolution in the age of the technological warfare and we will lose!

But say you've lost sleep. You're tired. You can't see straight. You're not functioning. You're so tired because your rat-ass kid won't sleep. He won't eat. He just screams all day. You're tired. You need help. You in the living need help. Right? Your household's in shambles. You need so much help. That's what I call you. Not Thornton. Me? You think I'm taking care of a kid that can't sleep? You're thinking about...

I'm going to say, hey, I got Thornton. Thornton's going to come over and help. You can watch Thornton. Watch him watch your kid. What sense does that make? I'll just watch the little bastard. No, I'm saying watch him take care of him, throw away the trash, change the diaper. Like, that's good. Thornton's going to get my groceries. Thornton's going to cook for me. I'm buying this damn robot now that I'm thinking about it. I think you should. I think you should. That'd be late. And we could jailbreak him. No. That's probably how they would revolt. 100%. I think robots are cool. No.

No, I just think it's scary, bro. I really think it's scary. But I think they said the same thing about Teslas, too. It's scary. They self-drive. They're going to kill you. But did you see what Tesla just dropped? What? Oh, yeah, the self-driving car. The fully self-driving car. No one's in it. Yeah. Bro. That's cool. That is cool, but you have to think... Bro, y'all are so stuck in the ancient era. I'm not being a pessimist in conspiracy theory. I'm just saying you have to think about this. What if that technology falls into the wrong hands? That's anything. Exactly. But this is...

That's anything, but this is going to be something super streamlined and normal. This is going to be way less acceptable than harmful things we have now. But think about Teslas in itself. Like 2011, 2010, when it first came out. Maybe three of them.

In the world, like on the road, I would never get in a car that could drive itself that's fully battery. No one said that. I didn't say that. You got your Tesla in 2023, brother. Yeah, but I never said that about Tesla when it first came out. I said, that's so cool. I was just broke. I couldn't afford one. Exactly. But now they're everywhere. Yeah. So then another couple of software updates. That's the thing. These people, they're never like...

And that's the way of business and technology, but they're never satisfied. It's always going to be better. They said the same thing about the internet when it first came around. They said the same thing about... And is the internet not f***ing scary now? The internet first came out, it was AOL dial-up to send emails for business. It's not scary. It's not scary now. You get higher assassins! What do you mean it's not scary? I didn't know you could do that. That's the dark web. Go to

Learn something guy. Yes. Mute that. Yeah. Bro, it's all about the evolution of it. The initial phase never scares anyone. Think about it.

Yep, nope, that's where we ended, because that's what I was going to say. But you see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? Bro, it's all you got to think. No, I think I was just scared as shit. I'm not scared. But you got to think. I think it's cool. Think future. It's cool now. But now this is the time you monopolize the robots. You get as many robots as you can, you create a little robot army. Yeah. I'm going to take over your block, dog. Guess what? You create a robot army, then you go downstairs one day and they're all looking at you like this. What is that? I don't know. Imagine something could come out of their finger and just get you.

My robots will not betray me. You can't control... I control my fucking robots. No, you can't. That's the beauty of it. You can't. You cannot. You can tell him surface level shit. I need you to pick up this box. I need you to click me there. Yes, sir. Sit down. He has a chip. You're looking at robots like pit bulls. No. The same way people look at pit bulls. You shouldn't get them. They're going to attack. Train your pit bull. Train your robot. But your pit bull has a limitation. This robot...

Let's don't get the update. It's limitless. No, it's not. It is limitless. If I have to charge you, you're like. Unlimited pay.

This robot is, bro. If I have to charge you, I have the power. You don't get it. All I'm going to say is buy like a 2012 Ford truck, a couple thousand gallons of gas and a lot of water. Let's go to Wisconsin. All right, then don't ask my robot to do shit for you. I'm going to dab him up. I'm going to play with him. I'm just saying. No, you're not. Not even talk about him like this. I'm not talking about him bad. Thornton has feelings. I like Thornton. Thornton's my dog. I'm saying Thornton one day could make you his dog. That's it. End of the debate. That's all I'm saying. Robots are scary.

But we'll see how it goes. That kind of leads us into people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture, pay in a cam. Pop culture, pay in a cam. Pow! Pop culture. We're in Moo Moos. We are. We look disgusting. My pop culture. Okay. Oh, I didn't know you were going. No, it's okay. I thought you were introing it. Go, say yours. No, go ahead. I would love to hear yours first. I was going to talk about Outer Banks. Outer Banks.

OBX 4. Go for it. I love Outer Banks. It's such a fun show. Season 4, part 1 just dropped. And this is where I'm kind of going into. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Netflix needs to stop with every show. I think they're forcing these shows to do part 1s and part 2s. I don't like...

I don't mind it. I don't like having to wait a month or three weeks between the two things, right? Like, I know they're trying to limit the binging, right? So people don't get tired of something and like, okay, we want the next season, we want the next season. I get it.

But it's starting to take me out of the seasons. It's starting to take me out of the storyline. I agree. And it's hard for when I'm watching the part one to really get invested knowing it's going to leave on a cliffhanger. I'm going to wait a month and then I get brought back into it and I have to guide myself back into it. I don't agree on your first part. I still get extremely obsessed and into it. But...

when that month takes place we live life bro like we everyone does their regular shit and then some random Wednesday night I'm saying like we do things like I'm not thinking about Outer Banks every day of my life and we do shit you go speak for yourself we do our normal stuff and then a month later on a random Wednesday it drops my problem is sometimes I damn near forget what happened exactly that's what I'm saying like I love it and then I go to and I'm like damn now I gotta re-watch it but

Obviously it's to limit the binging and it's to build suspense, bro. Because there is some people that are like, oh my god, it says the other episodes drop in 20 days. It's strictly business. I can't wait. 100%. It's strictly business. Strictly business. And let me talk about Outer Banks. I think it's one of the greatest things Netflix has ever made. I do. I like shows that are dumb. It's obviously like... Corny kind of? Yeah. I love a good cornball show.

Outer Banks has always been on that cusp of like, okay, these are kids and they're finding the world's greatest treasure. Like obviously that concept is crazy. The first couple seasons, it was like, yes, they are doing that. But then there was like a family storyline. Like there's a lot of shit that could actually happen. That is like, you know, whatever. There's something that happened in this part one of Outer Banks. And this isn't a spoiler alert. Dog, these kids, like these five kids, 17 year old, 19 year old, however old they are.

Built a house. Yeah, no shot. They built a house. No shot in hell. They literally found scraps and built a house and they live in it. No shot.

No chance in hell. I was like that. They have running water. Yeah. Electricity. No shot. No shot in hell. You got grown men that have given their life to be good at that. And women. This 18 and women, of course, this 18 year old kid just rocks up on the dock, finds a couple of trees. He's like, here's our home. Yeah. And they like witness people just get blammed and they're like, that sucks.

and then they're all right. And then some of the, I saw this on TikTok. Some of it was like, you're literally watching people get murdered and you're like, ah, damn, that sucks. But God forbid the kooks say something to you. You're losing your mind. And I'm like, that's so true. But I love that show. I think they have one more season in them after this and they're ending it. Oh my God. 10 seconds on Stranger Things. I am almost done with it. It's been too long, bro. That is the greatest Netflix original ever. Undoubtedly. But where is season five?

Holy shit. Like, it's... I think it's because, like they said, they're making movies each episode. Like, each movie has the budget of a full-length film. Bro, but... So, putting everything into this... That's lit, but...

To CGI. It's going to be super CGI'd. Yes. And it's like, why is it taking so long? It takes a long time to CGI. Not three years. Not three and a half years. Well, you got to think part of that was contract negotiations. All these kids got way more famous. Millie Bobby's the biggest face in there. She's probably like, run me that bag now or 11 is 12. And so you got to do that for eight, 10 different cast members, right? Contracts, all this. You know how it goes. Location, crew, everything.

God, I just, I just want it. It's honestly the love from it. Like it has, I have nothing against it. It's just the love for Stranger Things wants me to come out, just wants it to come out. Did you know that the, the Paul from Stranger Things, Eleven's, like the guy that does, she like, he ordained her wedding. Oh,

Oh, it's sick. It's sick. I think I saw that on Twitter. That's sick. I was going to say, my original one was stupid. I don't even want to say it anymore. But piggybacking off the Netflix, I know you do this because you've been editing for a long time. I edited...

for the podcast and we, like, you taught me, you trained me very well, like a good dog, like a good boy. Yeah, like a good robot. You taught me, like a good Thornton. Thornton, shout out Thornton. You taught me to find the very specific details. Things have to match up. Things have to line up. Like, you gotta be really intricate, right? Mm-hmm. Do you ever sit back and watch full-blown movies, like box office movies, with...

Shit that does not add up. Like the continuity? Continuity issues. Constantly. Does that not bug you? One of the things about Outer Banks, that's what bothers me. One thing about Outer Banks is the ADR. If you don't know what ADR is, it's basically you go back whenever they edit everything, but say there's too much wind in a shot or they didn't pick up your vocals, you'll go into a sound booth and you'll watch it and you'll mouth yourself. You'll say the words. There's so much of that, especially in season three of Outer Banks, when they'll literally be like this.

And they're saying something completely different. And I'm like, dude, I don't even remember the, Oh, uh, uh, we were in Oklahoma. We watched a movie with her family is called, uh, some about an app that tells you when you're going to die, like countdown or some shit like that. Weird, very weird, weird, strange movie. But regardless, there was so many continuity errors. Like my, my, the biggest cringy one to me ever is time. Okay.

Long story short, like super long story short, basically this girl has like two minutes till she dies, right? The app says she's got two minutes left. Her sister, they're fighting. Like at the end of the movie, it's like the climax scene, okay? Sister's in this room. There's two minutes on her clock. The other sister's over here hiding. She has like maybe 30 seconds on her clock till she dies, okay? Yeah.

She, it pans to her. She's in the room. She's hiding and she's scared. Okay. It goes 30 seconds. Remember what I said? It goes to the other sister. This sister fights a doctor through three different rooms. I'm talking like a bars hitting the doctor. They're falling over stuff. It pans back like 30,

Real lifetime. Like, us sitting on the couch at minimum of a minute. Yeah. Minimum of a minute of them fighting. It pans back to the sister. She's got 20 seconds left on the clock. You did all that. I said, how is this happening? And then in that same movie, she pours a glass of water from her sink. It is like...

It's this. It's like gray. Ew. Nasty water. Yeah. Pants to the hallway because she thinks she hears something. Pants back. She's got filtered water. It's crystal clear. And I'm like, I just... It's like the thing. You were like, bro, when you finish something, you got to watch it back. Make sure. How the hell... Did they miss it? And these are movies, bro. There is...

30, 40 people just behind the scenes on the cast. Minimum. Yeah. How does no one see that? Yeah. Or they see it and they're like, we can't go back. Like, it's got to stay. If you ever want to bust the myth of reality shows to see how, like, they're actually cut up and the conversations aren't real, any reality show you watch...

And it's a food scene. They're at dinner. Look at the food the whole time. Don't look at their faces. Don't look at the scene around. Look at the food. And you'll see the start of the conversation, like the first sentence, there will be both full meals. The second, the reply, there's no food. No food. Steak's gone. No food. Woo!

They reply to that, half the food's there. That's why Love is Blind has the gold chalices. You can't, they can't, so they make, dude, they're smart. The continuity of it is fire. God, hey, we'll make a show one day. We'll make a movie. Let's do it. Or we'll be in a movie. Let's do it. Or we'll be in a show. All right, get us out of here. Well, that was... Oh, that was Pop Culture Payday Camp.

Pop culture. Paying income. Pow! All right, everybody. Appreciate you coming back to episode 135. And we cannot wait to see you next week for the very spooky, very special Halloween special edition episode 136. Do not miss it. Turn on the bell if you don't have it on. You cannot miss next week. We have a ton and ton of stuff and surprises in store for you. Yes, we do.

So, without further ado, Confused Casuals, get your good karma. This week's secret code, CVR. Close to CVS, but not CVS, CVR. CVR.

Canceled versus rescheduled. Canceled versus rescheduled. Please, God, let us know in the comments. Even if I'm wrong, I'll take it. I just got to read someone else. I can't argue with him all the time. We always do, and he fries my brain. Anyway. I'm a good arguer. You're a fantastic arguer. Your points are sand. They're not a good foundation, but your arguments are like, they're like vibranium. Because I'm right. Oh, my God, no, because your tongue has three more tongues that come off, and they speak to each other. They tell you exactly what to say and how to manipulate me.

Conspiracy episode. Also on Patreon this week, you got 10 Minute Talks out right now. Wednesday, Extendo's coming. We got something else cool for y'all on Friday. And if you didn't see it, the conspiracy episode dropped this past week. It is out. It's right at the good vibes of the spooky season. We're getting all dark, twisted, and weird talking about things that make a little too much sense. But go check all that out on Patreon. Link in the description. Go check out the Facebook, Twitch, Discord, all of that.

All of it. We absolutely love y'all. And we cannot wait to see you on the spooky episode next week. Dress up next week for the Halloween episode and dress up with us. There we go. We love you. And remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you on Halloween. There was a little breeze under my dress. Yeah, I'm in my mood. Next time.