WE SAVED A PERSONS LIFE! -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast.

We just want to say I'm sorry about the couch, but thank you for coming back to another episode of the You Should Know podcast. I want to say to all the Florida people, all our Florida fans, we hope you are safe. We hope nothing went too bad. We love you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and everybody in the You Should Know family is rallying behind you. And if you ever need anything, just let us know. We love you so much. And there's a lot of resources. And if I remember, CJ, help me remember, I'll link some helpful resources down in the description below. Also, we have an announcement.

And this will be the first time I've said this. The next merch drop is going to be on Black Friday. Black Friday, new merch. Black Friday, new merch. Patreon, Koala Club. You, of course, get to see that first. We love you so much. Be sure to add us on Facebook, Discord, Twitch, YouTube, TikTok, Spotify. Subscribe, notification bells. You know the drill. We love you. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

We got co-host Cam back in the studio! No, stop, stop, stop. You already literally destroyed the couch. We just had a five-minute handyman session on how to fix this. It was not five minutes, it was more than 45 seconds, and I se-

And I said I was going to defile your couch because you made a derogatory comment towards me about what I did to your couch last week. So I said I'm going to actually set your couch on fire this episode. I want you to pull out a match so I can light that up. That was actually good. I don't want to violate you. More of your couch, not that. That came out very strange, but you just...

Are you okay? Oh my god, no, no, no. Just don't defile my couch anymore. You messed up my couch. I said don't do it, and then you doubled down. If we're honest about the couches, who broke it first? Me. So it was already defiled. It was run amok. It was led astray. Really? Yes. Because it was that couch. No, it was that one. Remember, that's how the- Holy shit. It was that couch. You had the long couch. It was broken on that side, and we switched. How'd that leg break? You. You.

That's true? It's not false. Cam, it's the episode you're going like this and laughing and then you fell like that. Exactly. Just say you're wrong. I'm wrong. But I broke that couch first. Thank you. Okay. Can I say something about my Instagram real quick? I need to get this off my chest. It's been a heavy burden on me. And maybe somebody out there in the comments knows why my Instagram is like this. Okay. Everybody... I don't think you know what I'm talking about. I think I do. Oh, you don't because I haven't said this out loud. Oh, okay. Okay.

Everybody has an Explorer page, right? Yes. If you were to guess, what would my Explorer page be? Latin women. It's not true. Your Explorer page would be podcast clips and occasional sports here and there, some WWE, and females. That's what I would think too, right? Yeah. If I were to just break down my search history... Yeah. Oh, if we're going off search history, it'd be...

Women with a sprinkle of... Why do you... Dude, you're like weirdly obsessed with my personal... No, I'm not. I'm not obsessed at all. Like every episode. No, it is straight. I'm not obsessed at all. No, it is a little straight. You're a macadelish. You're a great man. What? I don't know what I'm saying. My explore page has been rabbits.

Like a God, like an ungodly amount of rabbits on my for you page or like my explore page on Instagram. I don't know why. It was like four in the morning and I was up spiraling. Like I was in a dark place. I was like, is tomorrow going to come? And I was looking, I was just kept refreshing. And every time I refreshed that explore page, three more pictures of rabbits would pop up.

Another three. Another three. And it would be like my whole explore page turned into rabbits. You're stranger than I thought. Exactly. What are you doing with rabbits? I don't really even like a rabbit. I don't...

First time? Algorithms are damning, buddy. That's what I'm saying. They give you what you watch. Yeah, but I don't really watch... I don't watch animal videos. Do you remember that night? Or were you too spiraling? No, I was... You might have went down about an hour and a half of straight gerbil and rabbit activity, and you didn't even know it, and now you're a freak. Okay, and...

Not really. I had a class rabbit in second grade. Its name was Pepper. And it would scratch my back during class reading time, and I was terrified of it. And so I sat on top of my desk for class reading time the rest of the semester. And then my friend Clarissa took the rabbit home. And you can have it because the school year is over, right? She took Pepper home. Pepper had a seizure in the backyard. Pepper's dead. I just want to put that out there. There's no more Pepper on the physical earth.

if we're being completely honest. - Y'all had, you had rabbits. Dude, I, oh my god, you surprised me every week. You had rabbits that had accessibility to your spine while you're reading a book. - Yeah, it was the same class, my teacher was a stripper. It was second grade.

I want to say her name, but I can't. Oh, please don't. Okay, but yeah, she would let it go free and Pepper would be a distraction to me in my ADHD. No shit. Exactly. Okay, but I bring up the rabbit thing because I saw one real on my explore page. Right? Okay. It was a kangaroo and a little baby kangaroo coming out the pouch. A joey. Now. What? A joey.

Who? It's called a joey. A baby kangaroo is called a joey. Is that a fact or is that like street term? No, that's a fact. Like a calf to a cow is a joey to a kangaroo.

Is that a- can we call Harry? All kangaroo kids are named Joseph at birth and then once they hit four years old, they get their own names. Was there one like king kangaroo back in the day that was named Joey and he got slain and now we're all named- And now they're all- they're paying homage to Joey. They're like, "My firstborn will be Joseph." No, they asked. Baby kangaroos are called Joey's. Okay. And they sit in- God, I'd pay money to be in a kangaroo pouch. That's what I used to think. That's what I used to think until I saw this video.

I always thought kangaroo pouches were like a frocket on a shirt. Like, just like a sleeve right here. You open it up, and you can just go rest in that hoodie pouch, right? So warm. It is like if you go inside of a belly button. Dog, it is disgusting and wet and tight and veiny. Kind of like my asshole. No, no, no. Stop.

And so I saw it and I was like, I saw the little baby, like the thumbnail of the reel was a baby kangaroo like this. And I said, it looks like Ruby. I love Ruby. And I love kangaroo pouches. Hello. I tell them. And so the camera lady, not making those kind of jokes this week. She looked like Cam. So let's put that out there.

Wasn't my kind. It didn't look like Cat Williams. So let's put that out there. It wasn't Ice Cubics, Warren. Okay. So they're going up to the kangaroo, baby kangaroo coming out the pouch, the little face coming out the pouch. Right? And zooming in. And obviously the baby Joey was like, Joey was like, who's this white woman? And they like went inverted and back into the pouch. And then she stuck her two fingers in.

in the kangaroo pouch and opened up that curtain. That's a forbidden curtain you don't open, ma'am. That's not yours. That's a violation. That has to be some sort of charge. That has to be. That's what you do at ditty parties. With a lot of oil. A lot of kangaroo oil. That's a forbidden pouch. You don't want to touch those. Don't touch those. Don't touch a pouch that's not yours. That's a law. Especially not like that. Don't.

You don't do a pouch like that that's not yours without consent, without a Joey being in it. It's extremely important. So she went in there, right? And she opened up this pouch ever so slightly and put her camera with flash on into the pouch. And it looked like...

You know when Ruby yawns and you see the inside of her mouth? It's like that little black and brown spot. You're like, what the hell? Why do you got black in your mouth? The ridges. Yeah, I just found out that a kangaroo pouch is not a comforting home. Dude, honestly, that's depressing. It's like in their stomach, bro. Liv's belly button. You spoke about belly buttons. Liv's belly button smelt so bad the other day. Oh my Jesus Christ.

What activity was going on in the household to where you're fresh wake up Wednesday morning a clean wake up I literally roll over I go to talk to my son which is currently inside of Olivia's pouch and her inside of her belly and I go up for a night just a very A very intimate like face to stomach speaking session. It smelled like grated cheese. It's about so strange I literally went oh

And I jumped back. And she goes, well, my bad butt stink? And I said, uh, maybe. I said, you need to bathe right now. You need to shower now. She got up and showered. And are we sure we're not eating the placenta as a group? No, we're not doing that. A little salt and pepper. We're absolutely not. Oh, my. A little Rage and Cajun on it. If.

I will not taste your breast milk, Liv. If you put clucker dusters on a placenta and fried that bitch up and ate it like it was a T-bone, no. Is that sacrilegious? No, I think that, no, no. Is that a satanic, like, ritual? Now I'm not trying to be offensive here. I'm making jokes, but also, I am curious. I don't think it has anything to do with the placenta.

No, what about, okay. They're eating the dogs. There's one thing. They're eating the dogs and cats. There's one thing. All our cats are leaving. They're all being fed. That's crazy. What do you think about the men that freeze their own semen for later use in skin care? Have you heard about that?

They've never heard of like Cree-Ave? Cree-Ave? Cree-Ave? What are you saying? I got some bootleg shit. Cree-Ave? You're craving the right materials. Cree-Ave? Cree-Ave? Are you shitting me? No. I can't see where he's coming from. Cree-Ave? Cree-Ave?

And then they freeze the said specimens, semen, children. Where'd you hear that at? A rapper. You know him. He did this. I know him personally? No, no, no. If I know somebody's doing this. What is his name? Don't ask. I've never heard of the face wash. No, he did it. He said it's good to like, he drops the ice cubes in his drinks and...

Ice Cube? Like a semen ice cube. And he'll like blend it down. He went to a couple of diddy parties. He had to have been. He got the VIP section at the diddy party. He's known. He's known. Regardless, my wife's belly button stunk. Yeah. God bless you. Good God. You want to ask me something? No. I want you. You know? Who cares? Who cares?

Who gives a shit about... I did that on purpose. Okay. No, I want to ask you... What? I was like, how my week was when I was talking about... Oh, hell no. Okay. No, no, no. But I do want to ask you about something that happened during your week. We were all there to share this experience. Mm-hmm.

What were your initial thoughts when we were leaving the Starbucks that one morning? We went to Starbucks? Oh, did we go to Starbucks? Oh my god! We went to Starbucks and we got casted in a bonus episode of Grey's Anatomy. That's what happened. So talk us through that, big guy.

Talk us, tell us about that. So we spent the weekend at Cam's house at his new mansion. No, it's just a house. And there's not a lot out there where he lives. There's a, there's a, it's a decent amount. It's a good place. You can get a car wash, you can get your tire changed, you can go to church, you can get your car washed, you can get a couple donuts. Go to school.

That's it. But they just put a Starbucks up two days ago. That's not true, but yes. So we went into this Starbucks, right? Yes. And we're like, okay, we're planning out our day. It was me, Cam, CJ, Ryan. If you watch the Patreon, you know everybody I just said joined the Patreon. Good morning to you. So we were there. We were getting frappuccinos. We were talking, making jokes. Cam was being obnoxiously loud in ghetto, as he does. And so, was he not CJ? Yeah.

Okay, thank you. And so we're in this Starbucks for like 20 minutes. Good amount of time in there. Regular coffee date. Regular talks. Fun time with the crew. There's about eight other people in this Starbucks. A little double smoked action. Right? It was time okay. We have our day planned. Let's go back into the car. Let's begin our day. We're walking outside the door. We're walking towards the door, right? To the left of the exit door to glory and a normal day, there's where the bathrooms are. All right? Bathrooms are closed. It's a little single stall bathrooms.

Me and CJ are leading the pack. I believe I opened the door to exit. CJ's right in front of me and I can't see the bathrooms anymore. Cam and Ryan are behind a little bit. All of a sudden, I hear, oh my God, help! I said, what the f*** is going on in this Starbucks? And then I hear Cam go, oh my God. And then so I'm like, what is happening in the Starbucks? I peek my head around this corner and

There is an elderly lady. It's not funny. It's not. It's not funny. Stop, stop, stop. It's not funny. No, she's fine. No, she is. Well, we don't know. We actually don't know. We really don't know. But we tried. I hope she's fine. We look, and she's laying down. Stop making me laugh. She was like this. She's laying down on the bathroom floor. I think it better said she was sprawled out. Yeah, and then she just goes, ah!

It's not. It's only funny. It's only funny because we are reliving this. Yeah, and... Dude, just the way she pushed the door for me. Because at first, okay, oh my God, you didn't see it. So the first help, we were all like, what the... The door was closed. She was on the ground and she went like this. She went...

And like wedged the door open and I could just see her. She was like, help me! Help! And I was like, oh my God. So we go in the bathroom. I walk right up to her. Her eyes are closed. She's panting. She's moving her legs. She's visibly nervous. Put your tongue in your mouth. Just have a hot take about it. She's vis...

I'm not going to say it. Oh my God. You have to say it at the end. Okay. Anyway, she's visibly nervous. She's panting. She's sweaty. She looks kind of flush. So I immediately walk up to her. I go, ma'am, did you fall? I can help you get up. She goes, no, I didn't fall. I was like, all right. She got an attitude. She got an attitude. I was like, all right, then to hell with you. She goes, no, I didn't fall. I had a buildup of colitis back in December. And that's what she said. She said, I had an episode of colitis in December. It's feeling a lot like that. And I go, oh, okay. Uh, uh.

"Um, what can I do?" She goes, "Well starters, have someone call the cops!" And I said, "Oh, no!" I was like, "For a damsel in distress, you're awfully rude!" I was like, "We are here saving you, ma'am. Are you drying a Red Bull stained couch with a table runner from New Years?" Can I just say, the is faking it.

Dog, she was way too mean and then started joking. I was like, come on, man. I didn't think that in the moment I was nervous and I was trying to help and Cam was helping, Ryan, CJ, we're all helping. But as soon as we started, like, the drilling went down.

And I saw the lack of panic on the EMS. Yeah. I was like, is she a habitual? And she didn't fall. She said, I didn't fall. That's what made me nervous. I was like, she just sat down. Yeah, she literally... But she was sprawled out. She fell off a building. I mean, it was like Peter Griffin. One leg was cocked that way. Her arm was up that way. She was panting...

with their eyes closed. So I immediately am like, all right, she got caught in attitude again. Well, first off, have someone call the cops. And I was like, I don't even feel like you need me in here. Like, I don't, you're so mean to me. So I go out there. I'm like, hey, she said a lady's fallen. I literally said that again because it's natural. She's in her 60s. I go, hey, someone fell in the bathroom. She needs the cops. And all you hear from faint in the bathroom, I didn't fall. I was like, God damn it, woman. I was like, do you need help or not? She goes, I didn't fall. I was like,

I was like, okay. You're being awfully loud. So I go back. I go, hey, ma'am, I'm going to wet a paper towel, put it on your head. Is that okay? She didn't even respond. She did not. So I just did it.

Put it down. So then I say, while the police are showing up, is there some like a family member? Is there someone that I can call for you in your phone? Now, again, quickly, this woman is white. Okay. She's a white elderly woman. And the first name she tells me to call, she goes, yeah, go ahead and dial Shaniqua Williams. And I said, I swear to God, she said, dial Shaniqua Williams. And I go, okay. I said, all right.

And I go, I said, what's your relation to Schnittke? She said, I'm supposed to be dropping off for lunch. She said, I'm supposed to be dropping off for lunch. I'm working on Meals for Wheels right now. And I go, oh my God, you have cold food in the car? And she just goes,

She yelled at you again? Bro. She yelled at Kim again. So I go, all right. I called Shaniqua and I go, man, what's your name? Obviously, this is a fake name. She goes, Rachel. And I go, okay. Shaniqua doesn't answer. And I go, okay, Miss Rachel, do you want me to send a text? She goes, just leave a voicemail first. I was like, all right. I literally go, hey, Shaniqua, this is someone off.

She fell in a Starbucks. I don't know why I was so dead set. I said, she fell down in a Starbucks. She's having some problems right now. And she literally goes, God damn it, I didn't fall. And then...

Oh, okay. She had an accident. Yeah, I go, I go. And she goes, I didn't have them. No, she goes, yes. I go, okay, she didn't fall. She had an accident. And she goes, don't say I was in a car accident. I said, I didn't say anything about a car. I said, regardless, your food's not coming. Bye, Shaniqua. And I hung up. This woman, like, it was blowing up.

my mind how rude and bossy you can be when you're sprawled out. It looks like you were shot by Legolas in the middle of a bathroom floor. And then to top it all off, I go to text Shaniqua and I just text. God, I literally am texting Shaniqua and she has the clicks on her phone like when you type click.

So I'm texting her and you know me, I can yap. It's like a long message. And she goes, damn, you still typing? And I said, I'm out of here, bro. I set her phone down right at that point. The EMS came. I literally stepped right over her and I left. Then we go outside and the damn ambulance is blocking Peyton's Tesla. Huh?

Cam, you did AI that woman. Bro, I was just trying to help. That's why I want the adrenaline of the situation. Because my forearm, she still owes me a massage. I was fanning her with like a little menu.

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How well or how bad do you think you would be at being a barista? Like an overworked barista. First, I think I'd either... There's two options. I get fired or I'm in jail. Yes. There's something about people that order from Starbucks, especially you regulars, that don't... Your moms, and you don't have a job, and you are very entitled, and you're in four different groups on Facebook, and...

And you're cheating on your husband. Oh, you better drop that face now. The women in the big-ass Suburbans. Oh, my God. I know as soon as they come into... I'm like, they're going to give this barista a problem. And you got the little logo of your son's high school on the back left corner of the car. Like, brother doesn't get burned, bro. Oh, my God. Anyway, if... Oh, my... I hear the way they speak to some of these baristas. It's like...

There could be like a little bit too much ice on there. They're burning Starbucks down. Oh, yeah. I would lose my mind. But if I'm putting all the blame on myself, I'm f***ing everybody's order up. There's no way. You're going to be like, here you go, Rachel. No, I'm just saying...

How the hell do baristas know how to make that many beverages? Let me get a Venti quadruple pump soy-free latte with an extra shot of espresso, hold the oat milk, add sweet cream, little ice. I'd be like, hey, like...

I can't do that. You want a black coffee? You go, I'll get you an iced Americano and I'll get you out the door. I genuinely have so much respect for baristas. Bro, I was thinking about that and I was like, you would literally have a panic attack probably. Oh my God. Like you'd have to clock out early on your first day. I couldn't be the one to make the drinks. You'd be like, you start spilling drinks.

Not even making the drinks, typing all that shit in on the computer. They're literally the quarterbacks of the fast food industry. They have to make so many audibles. God damn, that was good. Are you kidding me? That was good. Oh my God, let's just run with it. Who's the running back of the fast food industry? Who's powerful, strong, fast? I can tell you who the sloppy center is. Who? Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr.'s the center. It's like...

I'm just blocking you. Block it. Okay. Running back? Who's a running back? Powerful. Powerful. Fast. Fast.

But power. McDonald's. McDonald's is the running back? And you need a skill wide receiver. Who's your wide out? Fast, good footwork. Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A. Goddamn, they'll run a route like crazy. They're fast. They're going to run a route. They're going to get away from the defender. Okay, who's a tight end? Real big and bulky. Very strong. Good. But could be a little slow. Okay, but they're local.

It's Whataburger. Yes, sir. They're thick. They're thick. Sometimes can be quick, but they always get you a touchdown. You'll always score. They are a go-to. You know what I mean? They are powerful. They don't have great lateral movement. You might get stuck on the line a couple times.

But they will get there. Let's flip the ball on defense now. Who's like the linebacker? Someone that you're just excited for. They'll just run down the middle. Oh, Taco Bell. Oh, my God. You're like, it looks so good. It looks good. They take care of their region, and it's just, oh!

You're just shitting. Dude, okay. Hold on. Hold on. Go. It's kind of in the same fast food. I've been trying to eat healthier. I've been trying to do better. Oh, my God. There's this place called, they're not paying for this, Salad On The Go. Salad To Go. Salad To Go, right? It's like a healthy fast food. Basically, it's salad, you get wraps. And I was like, I don't feel good. I don't feel, like, alive most of the time. My heart is working extra, and I'm just sitting on my couch. It's like...

It literally feels like my bloodstream is filled with oil. Go to the doctor. So I was like, let me try this. I go into the thing. They have a buffalo chicken wrap. I said, God, I'm going to go get that. I ordered that. So nice. So emo. So hippie at the thing. So emo. Oh, the woman. Yeah, you could tell. And I was like, oh, this is going to be grassy. I thought there was like pitchforks and bats. No, no. It was very ambient. It was great. And so...

If they give me the buffalo chicken wrap, I eat it so goddamn good. One of the best things I've ever eaten. Hey, it feels like Mike Tyson has gone inside my small intestine for the past four hours and he is going up in me. You got that today? Yeah. I'm telling you, it's not good. It's not doing well. Right on cue. It's like my body's rejecting health. It's not fine. Oh my God. You might be close to the boat, man.

You might be close. In Florida? No, like death. Oh, I thought you meant Lieutenant Dan. No, no, to the underworld. Oh, I'm not going there. I'm going to heaven. Oh, yeah, but you might be close. Oh, speaking of hell. I saw this one.

What? Okay, so I went. Now, this is personal, and this is true. And CJ literally asked me this morning. He's like, where have you been? I was gone from 8 a.m. to like 1130. I was gone so long. I had this thing where I was like, I want to go on a grocery store, like countywide tour. It has every grocery store this morning.

I went to six Kroger's today bro. I traveled like 40 minutes worth of Kroger's and I have proof of this because and later in the story I'll tell you why now I don't know what happened today. I don't know why I woke up this way but I did. I wanted I'm like a country-wide, county-wide grocery and I and what I did was I compared the aisles and ambience and I was like what's different? I don't know what was going on and I think I need medication.

But I went to the first Kroger, normal. Just a normal Kroger, nothing crazy. Second Kroger, normal, nothing crazy. I went to a third Kroger, the one kind of by where you used to live, like on the back end, behind there. You know what I mean? Yeah. I walk in there. Well, I get out of my car.

And I assessed the parking lot. It's one of those situations where the street across so many cars, a lot of movement. A lot of vehicles. Parking lot was desolate and a little creepy. Like there was people walking, but you couldn't hear the steps. Don't like that. No one's looking anywhere. It's like Colorado airport. You know what I mean? Exactly. As I'm approaching the front door of this grocery store, there is a woman that works for the grocery store.

Her back's to me. She's facing the grocery store and she has, now she has a mop. Let me repeat, she's outside.

And she's a little hunched. And I say she's not a day younger than 85. Okay. Like, she doesn't look stable. Like, you know what I mean? Not just a powerful... Gone. And so the way I was walking, I kind of had to cross paths with her. Now, I'm walking behind this woman that's mopping concrete, right? Yeah.

And I'm already like, now this is giving purgatory vibes. Like, I swear to God, I swear to God, she's mopping the sidewalk. And I walk past her, but I can see her stop the mop. And she literally turns her body towards me. And I thought she was about to say something. She looks me up and down because I'm a big guy. And she goes, okay.

You ever seen a set of fresh gums? Like some like new gums, like those gums just got there, just got out of the rinse. But you can still tell there is holes where teeth should be. And she looked at me, but there was no soul in those eyes. And she goes, huh? All right. And I said, oh, all right. And I kept walking because I was like, that woman is a descendant of Baphomet. She's not from heaven. Like that's hell right there.

And so I'm walking in the Kroger. I walk around the Kroger four times. I counted. Four times. What are you doing in there? To the point where the guy by the Lunchables, he was stacking the Lunchables. He goes, hey, son. Called me son. Do you need help? And I said, nope. I'm just looking around. On my fifth trip, as I'm about to make it back to the Lunchables, guess who I see walking towards me? Satan. Sanjum. He's got the most random shit in the world.

And his handheld cart. And, bro, the look on it. When I saw Sanjay, I got excited. Oh, Sanjay. Sanjay looks at me, and he's terrified of me. He goes, P, what are you doing, man? You're not supposed to be there. And I was like, bro, I'm just walking around grocery stores. And he goes, oh, all right. And he goes, I saw you walking, and your head was down, but you kept looking left and right.

And I said, bro, I'm just looking. But also, for what? I don't know. What are you looking for? I'm about to wrap this story up. You said you took four trips around to keep passing the Lunchables. I got four boxes of Lunchables at the house. But something about Sanjan questioning me made me emotional.

And so I was trying to end the conversation with Sanjian and he was making such direct eye contact, really concerned about what I was doing in my whereabouts. I started tearing up. I started tearing up talking to Sanjian.

He was so concerned for me. I said, hey, all right, bro. And I tried to make a joke with him. And I said, hey, invite me over and I'll eat some of that. Pointed at his car. What if you looked down and it was like car oil and stuff? Like it wasn't even food. Yeah, that's what I did today. That was today.

What in the hell is wrong with you? A lot. But why? Okay, there's so much. There's so much to break down. One, what did St. John have in his hand? We need to know because we can hold that over him. He probably had like a fresh fish, like Nutella.

And like some sort of medication. No. That's why I was confused because Sanjay doesn't eat bacon, but he had a 48-pack of raw bacon in his cart. And I said, either you're a fucking liar. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's why Sanjay's there early in the morning. Oh, my God. To not be seen getting the bacon. He had so much bacon in his cart. So much. Like my levels of bacon. Like a 48-pack raw bacon.

Oh, we're on your ass next time we see you, Sanjay. Second thing. Seriously, what are you doing? Why the six croakers? Dude, I don't know, bro. Are you the census? No. Who are you? I just was, why are you doing this? I haven't been to a grocery store in so long. Go to one. Yeah, you're right. No, no, I'm not saying what I did was normal. It's not. I saw Satan. Yeah, that's my last thing. You are better than me because when you went, ah, ooh, when she went, ah, I literally would have been like, ah!

I tried to scare and just see if she fell. I feel like she would have opened up her jaw. Yeah. I go, ah! And she comes out. There's hands. It's like. No, it gave me like get out vibes. She's mopping concrete, first off. I'm all for equal opportunity. What do we think they're paying her? I don't know. $725. We're toting the line here. $725. At that point, she just wants to be there. $85, bro. $85. Was she upping the sales? $85.

was she increasing productivity no she's mopping concrete and scaring customers yeah i hope she had a shirt on oh my god plot twist to the century she doesn't even work there she's got a solar kroger shirt and she's the she's the boat man of kroger oh my god oh that's how you know halloween's around the corner bro i'm all for equal opportunity i love halloween i halloween's fit i love halloween i like halloween too

I love Halloween. Who are you? I don't like that. I don't like when people, that's like another. Halloween. Data, data, tomato, tomato. How do you say it? Halloween. That's probably pretty. Who has ever said Halloween? That's probably pretty Caucasian, but Halloween. It's not. Hollow is H-O. That's how you spell Halloween. That's damning. Okay. That kind of sucked.

Am I okay? Was I under the thought process that Halloween was with an H? Okay, you also say... Oh my God, Halloween spelled with an O? Yeah, look.

It's A! Yes! Yes! It's Halloween! Suck my balls! Is this the Mendendez thing? What? What's the guy? Mandela effect. No, it's Halloween. It's not Halloween. I knew I was right. Yes! How? But no, no, no. How do you say in school where the lockers are? Where are the lockers in school? A hall. How do you spell that?

Hall, H-A-L-L. Hall. O-ween. Halloween. Halloween. But it's not hollow. You're just very O-esque.

Huh? He's very O-S. Halloween. Hall. H-A-L-L. Halloween. How? I'm gonna go walk the halls. I'm gonna go have a happy Halloween. A Halloween. Damn it. And you also said something else weird. What? This is such an intense moment. I was wrong and then right and then wrong again. What's the navigation system? GPS. No, that is north. It's a handheld thing. A compass. You said that the other day. How do I say that weird? It's a compass. How am I saying it weird?

I got lost in the woods. Let me pull out my compass. Is that bad? It's a compass. No one's ever said that. How are you supposed to say it? How do you say it? Compass. Compass? What are you? A compass? It's a compass. No. Compass. Compass. How do you say it? How is it? No. No. We're going to use the same ideology. How is it spelled? How is compass spelled? C-O-M-P-A-S. Okay? Compass. W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W

Compass. It's not compass. It's a compass. No, it's a compass. You're right. I'm wrong about that. How do you say data? It depends on who I'm around. It depends on what kind of people. I'll be code switching. So you're clay. You're just foldable. Oh, no. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Get started with a $13 trial set for just $3 at harrys.com slash YSK. That's harrys.com slash YSK for a $3 trial set. Now on to the rest of the episode. All right, I was on the bird the other day. Twitter X, as some call it. Ready? Came across this tweet.

And it was a thread. I enjoy a good thread. I like reading things that continue into something else and they develop. Would you be comfortable sharing your bookmarks with me? Yeah. It is 100% LeBron and that's sad. It's honestly sad. It's LeBron. Oh, it's 100% LeBron. No, I said me. Oh, not yours. Oh, okay. No, I think your gooch was out. I think I saw a little baseball.

Oh my god, that was like a salami sandwich. Oh. I flashed my muffin. Yeah, muffin my ass. That was a baker's dozen. That was a loaf. That thing was sitting. Sorry. I think my t*** has scoliosis. It looks like Ruby's tail. It's got a hook in it. Like, it's like a zigzag line. It's like Pikachu's tail. Oh my god, that made me sick. Your t***. I honest to god think your t***.

If we could hire someone, right? Like off the Titanic. Like we hire someone. To examine my tits? No, you get naked and you just stand like this. And then we have like a French artist paint your tits. But then turn that into like a road of like a beautiful picture. And only people that know that road is actually the connecting trail from your ball sack to asshole is us. And then we go put it like somewhere. That might be illegal now that I say that. I think I have an inflamed tits.

What is... Do you ever... Okay, let me... Now, maybe I need to get this checked. Not like inflamed like it hurts or anything, but it's like saggy meat. It's like...

The cops are coming. The cops are coming right now for your saggy, lunch-meat-ass gooch. You can play with your gooch. You need to get help right now. You can sit there and thumb your gooch like you're going for a score on Guitar Hero. You can lower bass your gooch. You need surgery right now. You need surgery. There's no way. Okay, what did you say about Twitter? Yeah, please. Please.

Holy shit. I found a thread. It's got BLT almost. The lettuce or the bacon? It's gotta be the lettuce. Maybe the tomato. You have a wizard sleeve gooch. It's sitting there.

I just like visualized it without trying to. Your downstairs has gotta be a sight, man! It's gotta be! It's like a f***ing campfire story at this point. It's like a mythical legend. Like, there's... It's either you're putting on a facade, or, I mean, they gotta be scared when you take your denim off. They gotta be... Red irritated webbing. A loose gooch.

Probably a lot of hair and then a Johnson. It's like D-Day down there. Okay, post-apocalyptic crotch. Okay. Enough of your crotch. Watch. Here we go. I was on Twitter. I saw a thread. It was about a thing that people suffer from that had no clue was real. Okay. There's been multiple accounts across the entire world and it's real.

Some people, they will faint. They will get scared. They will get in a car crash or whatever. And they wake up speaking a language they don't know. I saw that. Tom Segura had a big bit about that. I didn't see Tom's. It's a long time ago. It was one of his original things. He said it's one of the funniest things. I still have never seen this. Bro, it's called foreign accent syndrome. Oh my God. Imagine me. Imagine we go... I don't even want to say that. Knock on wood. Imagine something happens. I lose consciousness and I wake up. And I'm just like... Like full blown speech.

They are fully speaking a language they've never heard. Is that true, though? And they don't know. I don't think that could be true. If you have no prior knowledge of how to speak this language, how can all of a sudden you know how to speak this language? That's what I'm saying. I thought it was just an accent type of thing. No, I wanted to ask. No, for an accent. Like an accent, but you don't speak the actual language, right? No, this one woman was... Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? No, one of them was speaking a language they've never spoke. I can't believe that. And another woman was British, okay? She was speaking in hers, like just...

I mean, that's English. Yeah. But in her English dialect, but she was saying it in a Japanese accent. Yeah, I've seen it. Okay, that I believe. Why? I don't know. How? Not to be insensitive or partial here, if you did that, if you came in here sounding like Christopher Columbus, didn't he have a British accent? I would assume so. He was from Britain. That's where he came from. So he's not even American? No, he got on a boat and just drove west until he found our land.

Christopher Columbus isn't from America. Absolutely not. None of us are from, I mean, unless you are Native American. That's native to America. Oh. Did you understand that part at least? Did you know what that meant? Native American? Yes, yes. You sure? Yeah, because you're native to America. Okay. So then why is Christopher Columbus so popular? Because he got on the boat and he killed everybody. Correct. Oh, so we shouldn't have a Columbus Day, should we? Not to get political here. Yeah, but there we go.

No, but if you – If I came in, say something happened to me, I come in the next day, we're recording. If you came in sounding like Idris Elba one day, I would have a problem with it. I couldn't record it. No, it has to be crazier. It has to – I can't do it, though. Yeah, no, it's – We're playing with tricky waters. My hands are on fire right now, and it's getting close up here. I can't do that. But imagine. That day you passed out, if you would have woke up, you'd be like, hello. I was like, oh, f***, bro. I'd go, f***, bro. I'd be like, put it back out.

I'll go, what the f*** happened, man? I'll go, my bollocks is hot. Speaking of Twitter, I saw something on Twitter. Scary place. We got added this question. One of the fans tweeted this and added my Twitter. Why am I having a hard time with that? You can mention people on Twitter and it goes to their thing and they brought this to me. There you go. And they want us to talk about it on the podcast.

Can we put this out there? Cam is months away from having a child. Yes. Sorry. Oh, my God. I didn't think that through. I just, like, farted in my own spot. Okay. So, I saw this on Twitter. And they said him... I saw this on Twitter. The guy and his friend were talking about it, right? Bro, relax.

You said, I saw, like, dog, we're on our own time here. We're good. We're okay. The sun is out, kind of. We're all, everything's good. From the top, here we go. I saw this on Twitter, right? One of our fans mentioned my Twitter asking this question. Okay.

him and his friend were having this debate and he said i want you and cam to have this debate as well oh god and it is trying to get my blood pressure it was it is one of the best questions i have ever seen in my life okay like how did i not think about this okay they were debating is duck seafood and i said god bless that's a fantastic question i say what do you say is duck seafood i'm gonna go no that's wrong

I say yes. How is it seafood? Duck is not seafood. They live in the sea. Ducks don't live in the sea. Ducks don't live in the sea. One more time for you and the person behind you. Ducks don't live in the sea. They live in the water. They occupy themselves in ponds of your local neighborhood with an HOA system. What else lives in ponds?

Fish. What is fish? Seafood. But. You know what I mean? But when have you gone to the Atlantic and you see a duck 90 miles from shore? Oh, that's seafood. So it has to live in the seaford to be seafood? Most fish that live in ponds and lakes, no, that's still seafood because it's a fish. It completely lives in water. Yes. No, you don't have to completely live in water for it to be seafood. Holy shit. Am I wrong? Holy shit. Crabs.

Live in water. No, they don't. They don't completely live in water. The crabs you eat, we're not eating hermit crabs, you little creepy killer. You've never seen a... You'd be a six-year-old's worst nightmare if you picked their hermit crab up and you go... They'd literally be like...

No, you eat king crab and Alaskan crab, snow crab that live deep in the ocean. So you've never seen a... Name something else. You've never seen a red crab crawl up on the shore. Holy shit. The shore of what? A beach which is connected to what? Yes, but you said they live complete... First, they'd be seafood.

You said for it to be seafood, it has to completely live in the water. And that's not true. Okay, name other seafood. Shrimp. Water. Yeah, water. Bass. I don't eat seafood. Cod. That's fish. Oysters. Water. I don't eat seafood. Help me. Shark. Water. Whale. Water. You don't eat shark. People do. You can't eat shark. Oh, you can't eat shark. You can't eat a shark.

You can't. You can't. That's illegal. That's eating a horse. You can eat a horse. You cannot eat horses. That's metanimalism. No, you probably shouldn't, but that's metanimalism? You know, when you eat yourself? Metanimalism. You're a horse? No. Well, some may say...

The jury's still out on that one. I can eat your left finger right now. Yes. You shouldn't, though. So you can eat a shark. Yeah, you can eat a shark. You can do anything. It's not allowed. Like I'm telling you, on a restaurant. Whales, yes. Can't eat whales. Tuna, yes. Okay, you said every seafood has to live in the water only. Crocodile. Crocodile? Mm-hmm. Its main place is water. You said all... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can name stuff like that. You can name stuff like that. Yeah.

Like a duck. But they're amphibians. Ducks, bro, what? Do ducks ever... I've never seen a duck outside the water. Let me put that out there. Holy shit. You've never seen a duck outside of a water? You ever go on a duck playground, you freak? You never fed duck bread, Wonder Bread, right out of your hands? No.

What? Where are you at? You're getting a duck zoo. Where are you at? Oh, I forgot. In my neighborhood, at the end of the street, I had a cool little pond with ducks. In yours, you had kids making bombs. Other kids stabbed their moms and collected fingernails. And you had people that did sold stuff in the concert band next to you. Sorry, I didn't get a private school where I had a dean and all that shit. And I had to pray and kiss Mrs. Feet. And I went to chapel every morning with the 12th graders. I did not. That's literally... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You just described your own school. Okay, it doesn't matter. You just described your own school.

Honestly, deadass, where have you seen a duck? What do ducks eat? Bread, probably. Okay. Where's bread? Is that in the water? That's such a bad example. That's not my end-all be-all. I'm giving you a series. Okay. Answer mine. Where have you seen a duck? On the pond. By the pond. Okay. Why are they by ponds?

Because they like water. They like it? Or that's their home. That's where their shipping address is. That's their billing address. That's like a frog. A frog's an amphibian? Is frog seafood? You don't eat frog. What?

Holy shit. You don't eat frog? Who eats frog? I've had frog legs multiple times in my life. At buffets. At Cajun spots. You went to some dicks. Razzoo's has it. I've never been to Razzoo's. Exactly. You don't know seafood. You're speaking on something you don't know. I'm saying. You only like gumpy little crawfish. And now you know how. I don't like crawfish. I don't like crawfish. An oyster. I don't like crawfish. You don't like crawfish? No. I like calamari. Seafood. Calamari. Seafood. Okay, but dad ass. A duck.

Is it you've never seen a duck anywhere water is not at you. You've never seen it. You've never seen a duck downtown. You've never seen it. You've never seen a duck at a piano bar. You haven't. That's actually have I have. Okay, there wasn't like stolen for contraband and shipped there. I mean, I'm not saying have to be by water. Ducks have to be by water. I don't think they have to be by water. They choose to be by water. It's easiest for them because they need water. If I got a pet duck, would I not need water?

That's like saying if you get a pet dog, are you not going to need water? They don't have to live by the pond. Yes, they do. They have to float. They have to do something there. Dogs have to float? No, ducks. Oh, I was about to say, holy shit. That's like their recharge station. Dude, they don't, okay. They recharge there. They are, I will say this. They are meant to be by water. Naturally. They have webbing. They have paddlers. They are supposed to be by the water. I would not consider them seafood, though. How much time do ducks...

spinned by water what is the definition of seafood here we go duck spends several hours listen to me duck spends several hours each day engaging in water related behaviors including preening what is that bathing floating resting dabbling and drinking

Ducks, oops, I want you to kiss my feet when I read this next sentence. Ducks are semi-aquatic waterfowl. They are waterfowl. You ruined it right there. Fowl.

Foul. Water foul. Water foul. Still foul. It's like water human. You're still a human. They're biracial. Who cares? First off, everything you just said sounds like a swimming instructor. That's it. Exactly, because they have to be by the water. Ducks are sea creatures. Holy shit. Their job's by the water. They're not in the water. They're not seafood. The fact you said foul, a duck is poultry, and you can't change my mind. A duck is poultry. It's biracial. It's poultry. It's half poultry. You can't just say they're just poultry and not acknowledge the water part.

I'm acknowledging it. It doesn't make them seafood. Everything else lives in the water. It is curated by water. So you're saying duck's closer to chicken than it is to seafood? Yes. A duck is closer to chicken than it is seafood. 100%. It is a bird. Holy shit, it's a bird. It's a bird. Ducks are not birds. You just said it's a fowl. You said that. You read it. I read it. I didn't say it.

Did you read it through your eyes? And I crypted it? I'm saying it wasn't my thought. What is that? No! No shot in hell. Duck is not seafood. Have you ever seen a duck on a telephone pole? You just bet. What? Have you ever seen a duck on a telephone pole? It's a duck of a shit on your car. That's a bird. Thank you. Have you ever seen a duck fly? Have you ever seen a duck fly? Holy shit. Yes, they try. They can't fly good like eagles. They can't. They can't fly good like eagles. Exactly. So it's not a bird. A penguin's still a bird. They can't fly? No. Oh, he's doing his ass in the corner. Okay. Is penguin not seafood?

You really don't eat penguin. I really don't think you should eat that. That's just what I'm saying. Not don't do it, but it's a penguin seafood. Don't know. I'd go with no. How? Cause they don't bro. They're they swim in the water. Have you ever seen a penguin outside of water where water's not around? Name everything else that's considered seafood and see if there's a big difference. You have to live. Bass. That's fish.

Seafood. It literally has to have water to survive. So does penguins. A penguin will dry up like a goddamn raisin. When did you go to Alaska, Antarctica even? When did you meet a penguin? I haven't. Okay. So let's go back to the fowl part. It's a bird. It's poultry. We can both be right. No, we can't. No, we can't. Give me two seconds. Is duck...

Seafood. You should go see what the, I don't know, greatest thing ever, search engine. Holy, holy shit. You look it up on your own phone too? It literally starts with no. No. Duck is not considered seafood, but it is a type of poultry. What website did you get that from?

Wikipedia. Thank you. Every time. No, shut up. No, shut up. Dude, shut up. Dude, shut up. Wikipedia. Just wait. Just wait. I don't want to hear a goddamn word you say. Holy shit. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Eatforhealth.gov. No, no, you know, you're a liar. You're a manipulator. You're going to

Hell, this is what I'm saying. Listen, listen, listen, listen, Wikipedia. Listen, just wait. University of Idaho. Wait, wait, wait, just stop. Wait, why is Idaho doing this? Wait, do you realize every debate we have and Cam look something up to try to prove his point. The website he uses is Wikipedia. Hey, I went to public school. Maybe they didn't care in private school, but in public school, especially Ms. Winkler's class, they said you cannot use Wikipedia as a source. I wonder why.

Because they say things like that. And the only website Cam ever uses to try to negate my smart point is Wikipedia. Okay, cool. Now that your stupid Winkler monologue's over with. Don't you ever. This one is eatforhealth.gov. Government-sanctioned website. Poultry. Chicken, turkey, duck, emu, goose, bush birds. Birds. Duck is poultry.

Well, I'm going to cut that part out because you said Wikipedia. Oh, my God. You are satan himself. You're satan himself with your crooked loose scooch. Oh, my God.

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Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

Okay, I've been seeing this thing on TikTok, and you know I'm not too well-educated. I dropped out of school, and I failed art in the second grade. You know a lot of things you should, but you're missing a lot. I know a lot of things I should. Like things you should know as a 25-year-old man. Yeah, there you go. That's where the name came from. No, it's not. Hello. Okay, so I saw this thing on TikTok, right? And every time somebody's telling a story, they always say...

Imagine explaining this to a Victorian child. God, I love this already. Oh my God. And I didn't know what a Victorian child was. I wasn't aware of that era. So I want to do a game with you.

I want to try to explain things to you as you being the Victorian child. Oh, my God. Because I don't think I can explain things well, and I don't think you're going to make this easy on me with you being the Victorian child. Oh, I'm going to give you the greatest Victorian you've ever seen. Oh, I'm going to give you a William. Okay, Cam has a list of things he wants me to explain to him as a Victorian child, and I'm going to try my best.

Alright. Is that your Victorian accent? I guess, I don't know. I'm just gonna go like a British, I don't know how to go. Okay. Um, how, what would thou mean by a five hour energy? What, how do I get energy for five hours? So basically, a five hour energy is like a little drink capsule. What's a capsule? A drink is a pill. It's a pill of liquid.

It's a drink capsule. No, so it's like a mini drink. It's a little cup. What's mini? What does mini mean? They don't know what mini means? I'm not sure. Mini. Is it small? Yeah. Okay. Little, like the size of my pinky. It's this thing the size of my pinky, and inside of it, there's a drink. Okay. Liquid. Liquid. Liquid. Liquid. You know what that is? Liquid. You know what that is? Liquid. And you smell like shit. You should probably take a bath. What's a bath? I'm just kidding. I can tell you don't know. Oh, okay.

So it's this little cup. It's a cup of drink or capsule. It's this little drink. Okay. The size of my pinky. Okay. And when you drink it, right? So it's like tea with the queen. Exactly. Okay. But when you drink it, you get more excited for five hours. So it's a cup of happiness. Yeah. For a short time. Yes, but it's not acid. But how does...

Acid! I'm drinking acid! What's in this cup? Why am I getting happy? I don't think anybody knows what's in it, but you'll get real energetic for five hours. That's a five-hour energy. I don't like that at all. And you still need to be- What is popping boba balls? Popping boba balls at a fro-yo place? What is- What in God's green earth is fro-yo? What's a popping boba from fro-yo?

Sounds like my cousin. So you ever been to China? No. Never? Boba's from China, right? That's a bit racist. No, okay. Boba's like somewhere in Asia. It's from somewhere in Asia, right? I'm not trying to be a bit... I genuinely... I don't know either. I've never been to Asia. They've got a great wall. I've never been. So Boba...

It's this drink. Again. Good God. All y'all do is drink. All right. And at the bottom of the drink, there's balls. And they give you a testicles. No, not quite. Okay. Well, like little black testicles. You drink African testicles. I know that's acceptable now where you're at. Oh, very, very acceptable.

Okay, so you're drinking testicles. No. It's just, I don't know really what, just know they're little edible balls. So I can eat them too? Yes, yes. You sure they're not testicles? No, no. Okay. And they give you a straw. You don't want a straw? What's a straw? They give me wheat from the field to drink testicles. You have a gross stomach. You need a big visit to the apothecary.

You need a lot of doctor help. No, so it's like this tube, right? What the f***? What's going on? Okay, you're making me nervous. Start from scratch. Boba from Froyo. What is it? So, it's a drink, right? At the bottom of the liquid, there's balls. Not man balls. Edible balls. Okay. Made of what? Not quite sure. Me personally, I think boba's gross.

But you, and they give you this tube. Oh! Dear God! I knew you were a straight swinger. I'm just kidding.

They give you this tube where you can suck the balls up, and then you get a mix of the liquid and the balls, and you squish the balls in your mouth and you eat it. This sounds demonically kinky. You said they give you a tube where you suck the balls, and liquid comes out, and then you chew the balls. I'm never going to throw yo's house, and I'm never trying his boba. Give me something simpler, please. What about Pop Rocks? Oh, God. Pop Rocks. You know what candy is?

I know, sweets. I like sweets. How do they make sediment sweet, though? So, sweets. Sweets. They're hard sweets, right? Okay. And they come in a... You ever seen a condom? What's a condom? Y'all was all burnt up, wasn't y'all? Oh, we were burning. There was a whole bunch of clapping around the village. What is a condom? Let's go there. What's a condom? A condom, yes. Remember, I am eight years of age. I was just kidding.

A condom. Well, explain that when you're 18 years of age. Okay. But I don't know where to go back with the pop rocks if you tell me it's like a condom. Okay, well, I'm not going to tell you. Okay, no condom. Like the wrap. I don't know, woman. I don't know. So, it's these little sweet rocks.

But you got a lot of sweets in little things. Y'all do everything mini. Is that what you called it? Mini? You said a mini drink. You got mini bowls from a man. Now I have mini sweets. Did y'all shrink as a society? Why is there nothing large anymore? They actually got way bigger. They're making the Kit Kats huge. It's because you're sucking tubes and bowls. Okay. And it comes in this, uh, contain- like this little plastic container wrapper. You know what a wrapper is? What's plastic?

I don't know plastic. Really? I think so. I don't think if plastic is around. I think we did things in glass. What's your life expectancy? Probably like 44. Probably 44. Please God, no. And so you put these sweet rocks in your mouth. Sweet covered rocks. Yeah, but edible rocks, not real rocks. What's it? You can eat rocks where you're from. Yeah, these kind of rocks. You can eat gravel where you're from. It's crazy. It's crazy. And you put them in your mouth.

Does it not hurt your teeth? You chew them, but you're not supposed to chew them. You just don't bite them. You just hold your mouth like this. And then it has a party in your mouth. The rocks, they go...

You have sweet rocks that have emotions and throw festivals and balls inside my gullet where you're from. And you mean to tell me you're not Satan? You have rocks that have lives that throw festivals in my mouth and they have fun and you're not the devil himself?

Dear God. Okay, ask me like two more. Make it easier for me. Ask something simpler. What is Botox? Boat. Boat, you scared me. What is Botox? Um, Botox. So if you see everybody in your village that's got these little things on their eyes. The battle scars from war. Sure. Okay. And everybody looks a little droopy. A little dry. So it's a needle.

That you put in your face, right? When y'all explore more west, you'll find them. Okay? So you stab needles in the face. And they give you this goo. Like it is plastic almost. Like a plastic goo. What is plastic? What is plastic? Help me with that. Is it liquid? More liquids. You're drinking everything. You got rocks that are happy. What's plastic? Okay? I'm starting to think I'm a Victorian. How did you get that hair? And why is it not white like mine?

Are you supposed to be here? Okay, Botox. Just back to Botox. Look at your mom. You see how when you look at her, it's like, don't be rude to my moms. Don't be rude to mom. It's like, how is she only 38 but looks like she's 90? She's quite dry.

It's quite dry. She wasn't a fisherwoman. She was good inside the house. So it's this needle, right? Y'all know what needles are? Needles, yes. They have them at the apothecary. What is that? It's an apothecary. Is that a doctor's office? I believe. It's like it. It's like it. Medicines, potions from Satan dwellers like yourself, you happy rock man. So basically, you stick this needle in your face and it puts this goo and it makes you look like an action figure. Y'all have those?

You mean to tell me I can stick my face with a needle and I'm gonna look like the wooden toy my dad carved at war for me? That is f***ing sickening. That is sick. And then eventually down the line, they're gonna put them here too. They're gonna put them on the bosoms of women. They're gonna put them on the breasts. Does it make them better? It's gonna feel like a hockey puck. Some people like it. That doesn't sound bad. Do they still produce milk for the young?

I don't know. Seems like that would be like lead poisoning. Have you indulged in these hockey bussoms before? A couple. A couple. Did you enjoy a personal experience? In the moment, I'm not shying away. Remember, I'm eight years of age. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Hey, Victorians, they would flip the...

Yeah, if they were here now. Oh my god. Hey, I'm not gonna lie, I didn't realize how hard it is to explain like the most basic things to people. Bro, that's like someone said, do you think if you went back to the Roman Empire with a singular iPhone, could you take over the world? Yeah, you would own everything. There's no way anyone can stop you.

I saw someone say, imagine going back to that age and literally throwing the iPhone at them and then just running away. Oh my God. They're seeing things they've never seen. Dude, it's crazy. Do you think I would do well in the Roman Empire? Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. Why? The only thing you have going for you is that you already don't eat enough, so you'd be good there. Yeah. Because you wouldn't be of royalty. Not due to your skin. I'm 6'7". That's not, it's not due to your skin. It's not due to your skin. I'm saying they would immediately see you and you would be like in the infantry. No. You wouldn't be a slave. Who would I be? I mean, I don't, it depends on who's, depends on the emperor at the time. You'd probably be in the military. You'd definitely be fighting for the...

Front line, you'd probably die first battle. You're not the best. You're not the best. Oh, I got good hands. But they weren't fighting with hands. But they have. You have to worry about catapults. Slingers. Slingers? Slingers. What's a slinger? It was archers before archers. You know David and Goliath?

Get a good slingshot with stones. Slingers. That's the one that got the Achilles. That's Achilles. And his name was Achilles. And he was a Greek, not a Roman. And he was fantastic. And when he was portrayed by Brad Pitt, he was damn good looking. He probably looked like a broken thumb in real life, though. Have you ever thought about that? Yeah, that's what I was just about to say. A lot of the people that they say back then were pretty...

There's no way. There's no way. Oh, my God. Okay. Like, no one looked like Zendaya walking out there. No shot. No. Grills, disgustingly tarnished. Underarms, hairy and stinky. I have no problem with that. Boxes. Oh, I like to weed eat. You'd be doing a lot of weed eating. That's for sure. I don't mind a little armpit hair on a girl. Show me you're warm. Show me you're warm. You sniffed your wife's armpit hair this morning? Hot take before we get to the sniffing.

Right when she's about to shave and there's a little friction, it feels good. I like the way it feels. Liv, let me just say this. It's like this. Liv, it's like a good, it's like a texture thing. You saved Cameron's freedom. I'm telling you. If he never found you, he would be in jail, dawg.

Like that is some creepy shit. Okay, it's honestly from an overindulging of the love I have of my partner. I love everything about her. That's beautiful. Yeah, that's what it is though. But you, if you never met her, you would have to get that out somehow. Now I see what you're saying. Hopefully I would just have a, no, nevermind. I was gonna say, hopefully I'd have a nice dog, but I wouldn't be feeling the dog's neck and its armpits, stuff like that. I do like, I'm a savior. I'm a savior. I like Ruby's armpits too. Cute thing on animals is an armpit.

There's not a single hair there. It's so cute and pink. Just go in there and give it a little kiss. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at HelloFresh. With HelloFresh, you get a farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. So you can skip those trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. HelloFresh.

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You know what I want to do? Huh? On Patreon, I want you to do a podcast. Literally, just you and one camera. Okay. And I want to see what you say. About what? If I were to not cut you off, I feel like you would just go into a place that you can't come back from. You would be so deep. No, I was always bad at that. I have to have a topic.

Okay. Like even in school. Like if I had a free writing essay, everyone in the class would be done. I'd be two hours in with nothing on the page. I'm going to say something to you. Okay. And I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I probably will. I think you're slow. Like genuinely because I love you. And you're my friend. You're my brother. This is going to be hurtful. I love you more than anybody. I am starting to think...

You're slightly losing it. A little bit. What does that mean? It's like the wire. What do you mean I'm losing it? I'm not. Where's your evidence? It's just like the wire was never really connected. Like it was a loose. But it was close enough to spark. Yes. Now it's starting to go like that. And I'm noticing it in small things. But I care about you. So I'm bringing it up.

I'm not going to provide resources or help. Wow. But I'm just bringing it up to you so in case something does happen, I can say I told you. The same man that says I'm losing it, going down a dirty, weird, bad, dark spiral, but not going to offer me help, resources, and or love. Because you didn't say that, but you felt it. You're not offering love. Oh, yeah. The same man that said that, me and CJ cleaned his kitchen today? That's CJ's kitchen too. Who's more trash?

it's 50 50. 50 50 cj i'll punch you in that you would be willing yes you would be yeah holy because we get the food from the same place okay oh no backtrack now no no i'll explain to you why my trash mostly is in my room or in the living room by the couch that's where most of mine lives i do have some in the kitchen if i were to say just the kitchen i would say more cj

He went from 50-50 to now it's more of yours. Think about that. I would be, okay, I wish y'all didn't clean it because on Patreon we could literally go in there. There's plenty still.

Plenty. We could do a whole house tour and show it. Oh my God. We should do that. Keep meters at the bottom. Yeah. And we'll tick it as they go and see who ends up with more. I bet my soul more is yours than CJ's. I love my parents and I do believe they did a great job raising me. They did. But there's some things I think they left out. Like, in childhood, I feel like they did great. Like,

But as I got older, I think they started to relax. They said, we did good in the beginning. He's doing good on his own. Let's just take a backseat. Like from the time from teen to adult absence. They weren't. It was you, yourself, and you. Yeah. It was more like, hey, you're going to figure it out. Which I respect. I get it. And you never have.

Okay, and that's a question. Because I was laying in my bed last night. Scary place, scary time. And I did one of these maneuvers with my comforter, and I rolled it on top of me, and I got a smell that genuinely made me depressed. Like, I was like, bro, I'm never going to find somebody. Like, it smelled like wet socks and, like, spicy ketchup and a little bit of mustard. And I don't know...

How often I should wash my comforter because I don't think I do it enough.

No, Liv walked into the guest room. She goes, it smells like Peyton. She said, you know Peyton's been here. There's like clothes on the ground. The comforters are like reversed. It smells industrial. There's four drinks on one nightstand. Okay, but genuinely, because I wash my comforter, being honest, every four to six months. Now, I get it. Okay, I saw the reaction.

But I want love and acceptance because I wash my sheets. You always get that. I wash my sheets in my pillowcases like once every three, four, once a month. Okay. Once a month. I wash my sheets in pillowcases once a month. But my comforter, I don't know because it's a bigger piece of utility.

So when do I do that? Put it in with the sheets. No, it doesn't fit. Oh, yes, it does. No, it doesn't. No, it's not a proper clean. Every time we wash our sheets and pillowcases, our comfort goes in there too. You should just wash it by yourself. That's what I'm saying. I know that part. You should wash it by yourself. But I'm saying, why are you not doing it?

Why am I not washing my comforter? Yes. Peyton, you eat in your bed. You drink in your bed. You sleep in your bed. You fart in your bed. You have knives in your bed. You have trash in your bed. You read in your bed. You hang out in your bed. You sweat in your bed. You bleed in your bed. And all of that is either on or under a comforter. You should clean the f***ing comforter. Let's call a spade a spade.

The fact that I've walked into your room and I've seen a laptop, a half-eaten apple, a Diet Coke, and a blade sitting next to you.

with a phone charger and underwear on your side of the bed. And you have the nerve to think you should wash it twice a year is insultful. It is. That's not good. I have a white comforter, too. Oh, I know. That stains as shit. I know there's stains everywhere. It's all by my area of the comforter. It's like orange and red and a little brown. It's like a dirty rainbow on the brim of my comforter.

And I know, but I'm asking- Are you rusting? Are you getting wet every night and hopping in the bed and just seeking stuff out? You just seep blood. Okay. CJ saw something on my comforter. Semen. No, no, that's- You can't- That'll blend in. But- That's on there too.

Yeah, no. Oh my god. What'd you see on his comforter? Okay, he... So it was like a little wet spot. You better speak. It was like a little wet spot with like a brown dot in the middle. That's not what it sounds like. No! I had Whataburger. Oh, I'm sure you did. I had Whataburger in my bed.

I had the Whataburger. I thought he had a pharmacy in his bed going on. He had needles and shit in there. I had a Whataburger burger, like the bag, right? And I was eating the burger, but I always take breaks at about 1.30 p.m. And I'll put it back in the bag, and I'll just wait. And I don't put it back in the wrapper. I just put it plain Jane to the bottom of the bag. And so I started drinking my drink, right, and had ice in it. And one of the ice cubes fell on my chest.

And so I picked up the ice cube and I put it inside the bag, but then I fell asleep. And it stayed wet for like three weeks, dog. Like that shit. I don't know. That's why I don't go to therapy, bro. Okay. No, you should. That's fine. Two things. Why are you drinking the drink without a lid? It comes with a lid. When did you get to the point where you're just... Well, no, because I'm laying like this in the straw. I can't get access to the straw on my back.

So you'd rather waterboard yourself with ice and beverage. Second thing, the fact you put a naked burger in a brown bag without wrapping makes my face...

Teeth itch, bro. That pisses me off beyond, like, I cannot even explain that. I don't know if that's my OCD, my ADHD, I don't know what it is. That would kill me. Every time I eat fast food, the bag it comes in, you fully empty it, you set your table, and that is now the trash bag. And you went, drop it in there, you fall asleep. That's bullshit. Oh my god, Liv, when you were gone, we had our boys weekend, this man knocks over a glass of Starbucks water.

knocks over water in the guest room. Pure water. Knocks over the guest room. Gets on the electrical outlet, first off. Starts seeping down the walls. It's about 12 ounces of ice cold water directly in our carpet. And this is how I know he's doomed or he needs to take a lesson. I go, hey, clean it. Quickly clean it, please. Clean my carpet. He goes, gets a towel and literally goes like this. Throws the towel at it.

Starts stomping the towel gets on a knee like this and this is how much effort he's putting into it

We know he's gonna have fun though. No, she literally said that today. After she saw your kitchen, she said, I don't know if I can let Malachi come over here. But then she said, it's gonna suck because obviously he's gonna come over here. And when he becomes a teenager, all he's gonna want to do is hang out with his Uncle Pete. He was like, but he's gonna become dirty. And I said, no, no, no. Hopefully in 15 years, Peyton can maybe learn how to use a Clorox wipe. Maybe by then. But.

But if not, God help him. And I'm going to ask you the same little quiz she asked me the other day. And I want to see how in tune you are with a baby. So Liv has this thing called a maternity cart, a baby cart, a mom cart. So it's like a, have you seen things like a makeup organizer? It's like those little towels. Okay, so it's like that. It's on wheels. So that is for ease of access for her.

All downstairs. It's going to be wheeled around. It's like an emergency cart for the baby. Okay. So with that knowledge, what do you think is going to be in that cart? Oh, shit. What do you think is in the cart? Diapers. Okay. That's good. Milk. Milk. Milk. You think we're going to let milk rot and become room temp and spoiled on a cart that's not refrigerated?

Milk can expire? It goes straight to their gullet. And if you put it in a bottle and you're saving it, guess where it goes? Yeah. So no milk. No cold beverages are gonna be on the cart that's not cold. Some toys. Toys? Toys for the infant. They don't play? That doesn't even know what an eye is. He doesn't even know that he's seeing. He can't hear. He doesn't know anything. And you think he's gonna be like, hand me my Game Boy?

toys, all he does is scream shit, cry and eat and sleep. You think he's gonna be like, ah, can't speak. He doesn't know what life is. He's like this, just holding his tongue out, trying to latch to a nipple. Okay, no toys. So no toys and no cold drinks, but you got diapers. Yeah.

A camera. The nest. The baby camera so you can see him if he fell. Maybe the monitor part. Yeah. Okay. There we go. If he fell. As if he's walking. He doesn't have kneecaps, Peyton. He doesn't have kneecaps.

His legs are like Linguini. He can't walk. He's not gonna fall and if he's even out of your sight, you're in the wrong if he's not sleeping. So let's keep going. You are scaring me and my wife. Not really. It's okay. It's a learning process as the kids here. Put your shoe back on. Why is one shoe off? Put your shoe on. Oh my God. Wipes.

There you go. Wipes and diapers. Wipes and diapers. Build off of it. You're in the right headspace now. Wipes, diapers, powder. That's gay. That's decent. That's decent. Maybe some baby powder. Okay, she said we don't use that anymore. That's a Victorian thing. Okay, wipes. Wipes, diapers. Okay, we're in there. Wipes and diapers and clothes. Clothes? That's good. That's good because it's going to vomit on itself and have to be changed. Wipes, diapers, clothes and...

Wipes, diapers, clothes, and... No toys, no. No toys. He's not playing. He's sleeping, eating, or shitting. Wipes, diapers, clothes, and... A comb. Final answer's a comb. Your final answer is a comb for my bald child. Oh, what's up, baby? I want to get this right.

If my son- Lotion! If my son- There you go, we're getting closer. If my son was at your house, you'd be concerned about a Nintendo DS and a hair comb over food? They don't eat. I said the milk. You said no milk. So babies- What age do babies eat? I thought they eat- That's milk, though. I'm talking about eat. Oh, like-

Like baby food. You can start showing them solids at like six months. Okay, there's no food. I'll take that back. You got a lobster for him? No. What about his bare raw ass that's chafed from pooping nonstop? I thought that was the powder. Y'all said you can't do that anymore. It's illegal. No, you have to have a spoon, spatula, and butt cream. And you gotta get them all good. You're spooning your son's ass? 100%. That sounds insane and he will see this. But yeah, you take like a silicone spoon and you spatula his ass.

You're spanking him with like a Krabby Patty spatula? Yeah. And it's silicone and you put butt cream on it. I don't think I want to be there. No, you're going to be there. Oh my God, I can't wait to show you. It's 100% going to be on Patreon. It's probably going to be on socials too. When Peyton meets the baby, he's going to cry. Liv's going to cry. That's okay. This is the thing. It's going to be a magical moment. I'm being dead ass. I want to meet him when he's first there, right? You will. Like he comes out. Y'all call me. You say you can come meet the kid. But clear the goo first, right? Yeah.

Not on you! On the kid! On the kid! Relax! I think I'm failing. I thought I was really gonna get him a toy, dog. No, no. Like blocks? Kids like blocks and shit. When they're two. No. One and a half. One. Like six months. Three months he'll have stuff that he literally can just put in his mouth. Okay. You don't put a block in your mouth. You're gonna clog his airway.

You shouldn't leave me with him. You're going to give him Legos? You shouldn't leave me with him. He's going to... Okay, I'm saying, and deadass, and I mean this, and I love your son already. I love him. He doesn't serve that much of a purpose to me at the beginning. Wow. Right? Let's be honest. I'm not his caretaker. I didn't sign up for that. That's fine. I'll meet him when he's wrapped up and screaming. And I'll be like, ooh, maybe you'll grow into it. I knew you'd be a ginger.

So if he comes out ginger, I'm gonna be, oh, they're gonna kick me out of the hospital, dog. I'm gonna go with an air horn. I'm gonna meet him, right? I wanna be there and say hi to him. After I hand him back to y'all, I wanna see him, please.

Until he's six. No, that's bullshit. You're gonna, you're gonna, bro, as soon as I can't talk to bro. And I thought you can talk to Dax and he has a full blown personality. He's had it for a while. He just turned three. Okay. But Daxon is an anomaly of a child. He's literally in the 99th percentile of height. He's going to be tall as shit. He's already talking. He's smart. He's funny.

If your kid's like that, yes. Okay, good. But if he's like, just still like... Creepy, a little gooey around the midsection. Yeah. I don't want to talk to him until I can like, play him one-on-one. Okay. That's fair. When I play your kid one-on-one in basketball, I want you to go hard. Okay. No, I will. Because I got... And it made me cry and frustrated, but it turned me into a killer on the court. Yeah. And a killer in real life. I've never hurt. Well... I've never killed. I don't even hunt. I feel like it's wrong. Yeah.

Cooper used to want me to go hunt with him. They would maim these animals. Sorry. I wasn't talking about animals, you freak. Oh. I was just making a joke, like a Joe Goldberg joke. Oh. I've never even hunted. Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. I have enough of the kid. It's a learning curve. You'll learn as it goes. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by friends at Rocket Money!

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Would the world be harder with blank? Okay. So do you think our world that we live in would be harder with either option A or option B? Okay. I'm going to give you two options, and you tell me, and you need to explain. I like this. Okay. Get my list. You said what? You said what? What'd you say? Okay, here we go. First one, very simple. Do you think the world would be harder with no deodorant or no air conditioning?

No air conditioning, 100%. So it's always hot, but at least people have deodorant. Yes, because there's some people that don't need to wear deodorant. I was told that by somebody. Bullshit. Yeah. Bullshit. I'll tell you who. And you'll be so surprised on who doesn't. Oh, I thought you said you were told that you don't need to wear deodorant. I was going to say that is a lie and a scam. And those people do not love you truly because they are lying to your face. You smell industrial. No, no, no.

I feel like there's ways around if there's no deodorant. There's ways around. There's soaps. There's something you can do. You can shave your armpit hair. You can do something. Baby powder. Something. Cologne. Fabrise, like I do. So you still want A.C.? A.C. is so important. It's so important. Okay. Well, at first you said no A.C. No. Which one would be harder is no A.C.?

No, you got to tell me the option you want. No, yes, that's the one that should be harder. You just said you picked the one that would be harder to be without. And I said, no AC. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Well, f***, you're okay. Am I okay? Am I here? Okay, okay, okay. Do you think the world would be harder if you only had 30 flight credits your entire life? The second you're born, you can only take 30 plane rides. Okay. And it's documented. Yes. And there's no escaping it. Yes. Or...

There is no Mexican food or no Italian food ever in existence. Do you think the world would be harder with no Mexican and no Italian food ever? There's no chips and salsa. Oh, my God. There's no chips and queso. No nachos. There's no nachos. There's no pizza. Nachos is American. Let's put that out there. Okay, yeah, that's fine. There's no pizza. There's no Stephen Special. That's nice.

Pizza's Italian very much Italian. Oh who made pizza the front goals French the French Yeah, they did the French say three words in French we we go to hell. What would be harder? No Mexicans no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Well, that too would be... It would be harder. Okay, yes. It would be harder. The greatest. They're the greatest. They are. They're amazing. Oh, my God. No Mexican food and no Italian food. You saved yourself. Here we go. God damn. Would the world be harder if animals were the size of cars? Okay. So imagine Ruby the size of a Civic. Oh, my God. Yeah. Big Ruby. She would bully us. I would ride her. Oh, my...

Oh my god. You rode your dogs to work and shit? Oh my god, I'd be... But even Ruby Big would be... Oh, it'd be... The alignment on the car as well. It'd be a bumpy ride. It'd be like... Okay, animals... If animals were... I got a lot of hip force. If animals were the size of cars or if everyone on earth was passive-aggressive towards you and immediately didn't like you in the beginning. I feel like everybody doesn't like me in the beginning.

Immediately, I'm like, I got it. I'm always working my way up when I meet somebody. It's always a corporate ladder, but for no gain. You always feel like you're just notching away. Is that everybody? When you meet somebody, you think they hate you? When I meet people, I think that, no, I think they are nice people. Do you have a big ego, too? No, I don't. What'd you say? Stinky belly button? Um...

Which would be harder? If animals were the size of cars. Every animal in the world? All animals. So you gotta think, rhinos are like the size of monster trucks. No, every animal being the size of trucks would be harder. Harder world. Because we would not be the top of the food chain anymore. So you'd be fine with just walking around every day and people are like, what the hell? Get away from me. Hey, I need a bagel. I'm sure you do, you little skinny freak.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to role play. I'm sorry. Imagine like an ostrich the size of a Walmart pickup truck, like an 18-wheeler. Oh, my God. They would run Congress. That'd be dinosaurs. Yeah. We would bow to them. Oh, my God. It'd be so sacrilegious. Oh, my God. What do you mean? It'd be a fallen world. People would worship them. Yeah. For sure. Well, I wouldn't. Oh, me neither. But here we go. I believe in Christ. 100%. Good morning to you. Last one. Would the world be harder?

If you can only date and marry people from your hometown. I'm fine with that. Like a CJ. Oh, me too. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No more Saturday night football. Just one day of your weekend is everybody's indoors. No one can do anything. You literally, you cannot leave your house. Oh, it would be 100% harder with being in on Saturdays. So Saturdays, you're picking Saturdays. 100%. You need your Saturdays. I need my Saturdays. You are a Saturday advocate. I live for Saturdays. You live your week. You live six days in a row for Saturdays. You know my weekends now? I've changed my weekends to Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Saturday is my Sunday. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So like Thursday, Friday, Saturday is my Sunday because Sundays I work. Yeah. So Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Is today Thursday? Yeah.

Today is. Oh, we're going to Twin Peaks. Why don't you? We'll talk about that. So you're picking that this Saturday? Yes. 100%. That was a good game. Thank you. Your answers in your mind is interesting. Quick answer. If you woke up a woman tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd do? Touch my breasts. Oh, absolutely. No, no. That's the first. That's the first. I want to know what it feels like. That's not the first. I want to know what it feels like. That's not the first. First thing is.

No. Then you have respect. I'm the first 12 seconds. Okay, mute that. Holy shit, dude. I'm exploring. I want to know what it feels like. I feel like you have no... Me? What does that even mean? Cam would have a great front porch. He would have a fantastic back porch. Oh, my God. I'd have an ass that'd make the blind see. That's very... Now, that's...

You know Cam, when I was walking in here today, I was thinking about your butt. Cause Cam has a big butt. Like he has a good butt. Like a good back porch. I've noticed when Cam walks regularly, it's like a normal person walking downhill. Like that's Cam's normal walk. It's like somebody walking downhill. But when I walk downhill...

It turns on the Richter scale. It is... Our whole group has a good ass. We do. What are we doing? Who has the best ass in the group? Me. I'd say me or CJ. It's not you. No, yours... You have... You have a gymnast ass. You got volume. I'll give you that. Yeah. You got great volume. We have quantity and quality. But I think... You just have quality. We put anybody in yoga pants, I think aesthetically, it would be me the best to look at. Aesthetic? No. No shot. No, because I got the skinny legs, right? That's what I do. Skinny legs...

Like a sports ass. But also, I got a f***ing lower back. And it's pushed in a little bit. And so it makes it pop more. Okay. Same analogy. You put me in leggings. I have thick legs. Yeah. And then a thicker ass. What are we talking about? You would make f***ing go crazy. 100%. They'd be like... What about CJ? CJ's just... He'd just be a... Nah, I can't. He'd be too caffeine. He would...

It would be so much calf, bro. It would be appealing. I'm sorry. It would have cackles. No. You're delusional. CJ's calves are big. God damn. Look at him. Yeah, it's sick, bro. It's like pulsating. Okay, my last thing. Do you get lightheaded when you run? Like pumped your calves must get? Caterpillars are very weird. They are, aren't they? Caterpillars are strange, bro. I saw a little commercial the other day and I really just sat there and watched it. It was like 20 seconds. When's the last time you've seen a caterpillar?

Dude, I never see him. You've never seen a caterpillar? No, I've seen it. I said I never see him. They're not around anymore, are they? I'm sure they are. I'm sure. They come out when it rains. Liv's like knowledge on shit. It's so strange. She just wants to be a part of it. And I feel bad and I love you to death. She's like an old country person. You know what she did? I went to the other room last night, turned off all the lights and stuff. I come back. She's listening to Dave Ramsey.

Okay? And I go, "What are you doing?" She goes, "Oh, I've just spent the last hour listening to Dave Ramsey." I knew who he was, but I never really knew who he was. And I go, "Okay, that's cool. Do you like him?" She goes, "Yeah, watch this." I proceed to watch a 19-minute YouTube video over a Dave Ramsey conference in Tampa, Florida from 2017. So,

After I watch that, I go, hey, I'm turning on Netflix now. You can still indulge if you'd like. So we watch Selling Sunset, go to sleep. I wake up. She is already out of the bed. I go to the living room. She's tucked under a blanket watching Dave Ramsey on the big screen. What?

She proceeds to say, hun, I want to go to a Dave Ramsey conference. I go, you are a creature of motivation. You didn't even know the poor bastard last night, and now you want to go to his conference? I didn't know who he was. He just... You keep talking shit. I'm going to be like... His name's Dave Ramsey, not Damon Ramsey. He is a miller.

a millionaire, multi-millionaire. He is. He runs like a $400 million corporation. Let's continue this talk on Patreon. We're going to give those two mics. Good God. If you want to see this conversation continued, head over to Patreon. Cam, get us out of here. Appreciate you coming back to episode 134. We absolutely love y'all. It's another fantastic week here at the You Should Know Podcast. Anyway, make sure you confuse the casuals and get your good karma with this week's secret code DIP. D-I-P.

Duck is seafood. Duck is poultry, you rat bastard. It is foul and it's poultry. Why did I say seafood? Don't know. You're losing it and you're trying to prove a point, you ignorant pig.

I'm just kidding. We absolutely love y'all. Put dip everywhere, confuse the casuals, and get your good karma leading into the next week. We are back again next week, same time, same date, with episode 135. Make sure to go to the Patreon, the Facebook, the Twitch, the Discord, the Instagram, our Instagrams, the You Should Know Podcast Instagram. Woo! Everywhere to receive all your updates and all your extra exclusive content. We absolutely love y'all, and until next week.

Remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time in maybe a little spooky setting. Download this on Spotify, leave your review, and turn on your post notifications on YouTube. Thank you. We love you. It's not seafood. Yes, it is. Goodbye.