WE ARE GOING TO COURT! -You Should Know Podcast-
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For a limited time, the classic filet of fish you love is joining your McDonald's favorites on the two for $3.99 menu. Limited time only. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Single item at regular price. The You Should Know Podcast. Big hand to the You Should Know Podcast episode 103. Round of applause. Please, that round.

Hey everybody, welcome back to the UChino Podcast, episode 103. We are back from Austin, Texas. I like that. Austin, Texas, it was a fantastic show. It was so great to be back home. A lot of y'all got surprised by our exclusive merch for the audio listeners you can't see, but Austin, Texas got exclusive merch. If you're new here, if you haven't already, look below, you see the subscribe button, press your own.

Look even more below then you see the comment section filled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Guys, we have special, special, special news, right? We have the vlog on Patreon. We have another conspiracy coming up on Patreon. We have so much coming up on Patreon and more exciting news. The first Twitch stream is going to be this Wednesday. Round of applause for the first Twitch stream.

You will see all your favorites. You will get a lot of new information. You might get a sneak peek at the new merch. The new merch drop. Oh my God. I cannot wait for y'all to see.

It's so, so fantastic. We will be back on the road in the summer. Those dates and tickets will be available soon. Just be sure to follow me on Instagram at PSHA. Follow Cam on Instagram at camkennedy22. And follow the You Should Know Podcast at youshouldknowpod on Instagram. We love you so much. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Oh, he's, oh, hey, go Cam one, go Cam one, go Cam one. Hey, hey, hey, Cam's feeling good after Austin, Texas. We got Cam. Round of applause for co-host Cam. It's time to play the game. Yeah.

Why? We got co-host Cam. Fix your stance in the back in the studio. Now. Fix it. Why have you been like that towards me? Been like what? Controlling and demanding. Because you keep flashing your genitalia in my general direction.

Behind closed. Okay, okay, thank you. Don't make a violation. You're like, what's up, Cam? I'm a wide guy. What does that even mean? I spread eagle. You don't like to spread eagle for comfort? Sorry, I got a lot of weight. You ever carry around 15 pounds on your pelvis? We should start over, no? No, no. You deserve to reap what you've sowed, you sick creep.

You remind me of Doodle Jump right there. Do you remember that game? Doodle Jump was good. Do you remember the peak of, what was that game, Temple Run? Oh my God, I was a Temple Run fanatic. I was so good at a Temple Run. I swear to God I would have been better than you. I was so good at Temple Run. You have crooked, gnarled fingers. I had very straight, very good dexterity. Ooh, my name's Cam. I never put a day's work in my life and went out in the field and hurt myself.

You went out in the field? I tried to. You broke your fingers by fouling on defense because you're a creep. That wasn't fouling. You couldn't. All right. So you said, how did I break my collarbone? How did I break my elbow? How did I hyperextend my knee? How did I break my foot? How did that happen? Collarbone was birth. Oh, okay.

I broke my collarbone when I came out. So you were a weak ass baby. I was 10 pounds, 22 inches. You were a weak ass. Yeah, dude, that's scary. Okay, for y'all to... All natural birth. Shout out to my mom. Facts. For y'all to understand, if you're a woman that has married or has a partner that is a large man and you expect to have children that are our size, just know you're going to have a mega birth. What are our kids going to look like? Okay, we're not going to have them, but you... If we did have kids, let's describe that kid.

I've thought about it. You know that AI generator app whenever you put the two pictures together? You showed me. Yeah. Thank God it got me. My features, huh? I think if we had a kid, right? Yeah. In some weird utopian world. Oh, my God. I think it'd be a cool kid.

Now the parenting is where we'd be so different. Why? I'd be like, get in, do your homework, be good, be good to society. And you'd be like, hey, I don't get what's up, man. What'd you do today, dog? You good? Yeah. Hey, there's some beef still in the freezer. So you gnaw it down. That'd be, that'd be where it'd be different. No. I go, what do you, what do you want for dinner? What do you want for dinner, bud? What are you thinking? You go, hey, I'm ordering a pizza again. The kid's like, dad, that's six weeks in a row. I want something else, please, papa. And you go, you don't get

In my house! That'd be you. That'd be you as a kid. No, you'd be like, the most important thing is school and literature. You'd be like, we gotta do math problems, we have to read Romeo and Juliet. Hey, I'm actually gonna do that. Two things I've told Liv, whenever we have kids, certain times when I drive around, I'm gonna play classical music.

You said you're going to put headphones on her stomach and play classical music. You did say that. I never said that. Yes, you did. Y'all are lying. You said that years ago, but you said it. That's a bit... I can't wait for your kids to resent you. To resent me? So they can run... They're like, I want to go to a weird... Whoa, be careful. A weird what? What did you just say? What were you trying to say? Yeah? No? I can't wait. You know what, Dad? Screw you. You're such a jackass. I'm going to go to weird, smelly, hairy Uncle Ben's.

Your kids are going to love my house. Oh my God, at that point in your life, you are going to be in a much larger house. Yeah. Naked, wearing a robe. Yeah. With gnarled feet out at all times. Yeah. I hope you have a pet at least by then. I'm going to have 17 German Shepherds named Titus. All of them Titus. Titus! 17 German Shepherds. You do realize that would never work with you. Why? You cannot raise a dog by yourself. Why? I'm a good dog dad. Why?

I'm a good dog dad. You'd wake up Thursday and just be like, oh, I got a lot on these. Oh, I haven't fed Titus since Sunday. And your dog, you go, where is he? He's like literally balled up in a corner. He's like, oh, like he's gasping for air. No, one thing about me, I'm a good delegator. I'll hire somebody to feed the dog. And that's not a real, that is lame. That is not, that's not, you're going to hire someone to feed your baby? So what's the difference between that and a nanny? Got you, stupid. Got you.

Gotcha! No. What's the difference? What's the difference? What's the difference? What's the difference? Nanny is for when you're not there and you're not capable to do it yourself. Says who? Is this a nanny handbook?

That's what nannies are for. No, you can't have a live-in nanny. Live-in nanny. You know what the parents do when they're live-in nannies? Yeah. They're working constantly. Who says I'm not working constantly? Do I work constantly? Yes or no, do I work constantly? You work constantly to where you can't feed a dog. I don't work constantly. To where you can't feed a dog. I can barely feed myself. To where you can't. You eat every day. Do I? Yeah, you eat every single day, at least twice. I've missed some days. Every single day, at least twice. You couldn't feed your dog. You would hire. I could. I could. So is it even fair to say that'd be your pet? Yes. I bought that motherfucker.

You bought him. That's mine. He belongs to me. Exactly. But is there a deep love? Is there a deep connection? Yes. If someone else is feeding the dog, taking the dog out, playing with the dog. Yes. I love that dog. I love him to death. That's why I'm getting a professional that costs $13,000 a month to feed and water my dog. Sorry that you're Mr. Saint Laurent. You're Mr. Saint Laurent. Saint Laurent?

That's exactly what your mind's at. You're not ready for Titus. You're ready for Birkin. Okay, you're just mad that your kid's going to want to spend more time with me than you. You're mad because, yes, he's like... I can't wait to drop him off with you. He'll have fun. My dad's been playing Beethoven and 2K all week. I haven't even talked to him, and he snaps so much. I snap? I thought you were talking about Snapchat. You're like, my dad just wakes up and just...

I'm so sorry. And then your son's going to be like, Uncle P, can you teach me what a CPM is? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah, he goes, Uncle P, where's Georgia? And you go, hell if I know. Yeah, is that going to help your life? Is that going to make you a buck? Nope, don't need to know it. What if they need to work in Georgia? You never know. You can choose the life you live. You can. So don't. So you'd openly choose to have a live-in nanny for a pet? That's what you want to choose? If I can afford it, yes.

That's not what I'm asking. It's not if you can afford it. You'll be able to. Okay, then yes. I can afford it. Then yes. I'm saying you'd rather choose that. Yeah. Than to grind and see the parenthood for the dog yourself. I'm parenting the dog. I'm teaching it to love me. Lay with me. It sleeps with me. It sounds like you're teaching it to love the nanny. No, the nanny's just feeding it and providing for it. You know who dogs love most? What? Providers. Who's going to give me food? I don't have a thumb. Okay, question. How many times does Liv walk the dog? Your dog? Never. Does Ruby love Liv? No.

She loves Liv, yeah. Okay. Liv feeds Ruby. Liv has walked her before. Liv's spent countless... Okay, I will feed the dog sometimes. I will walk the dog sometimes. You literally... Okay, initially you said, I'm going to pay someone to do it. Yeah, for a majority of it. For a majority of it, yes. So imagine if you were like this, right? And you go, hey, what's up, Titus?

And then that's it. But then Titus gets fed from, let's call her Julie. I'll be like, Julie, feed Titus. I'll be like, Titus, go get food from Julie. Titus gets his food from Julie. What's wrong with that? Titus gets his belly rub from Julie. Titus walks from Julie and plays with Julie. That's the thing with you. Do you think he's going to love you or Julie more? That's the thing with you. You love to judge people. No...

You are a judger of people. If they don't live the life you live, you're like, look down on them. No, I'm saying, okay, same example. Does Ruby love me or live more? I don't know. I'm not in your house. I don't know. I don't know what y'all's conversations are with Ruby. If you had to guess, does she love me or live more? I would say me.

Out of both of y'all, she loves me more. She loves Uncle P. And have I fed her once? Uncle P's her favorite person. Never. You literally give her treats every time. Okay, I'll give Titus attention. There you go. Point blank, period. And okay, I gotta say something. You're itching your ass.

I have a question. Dude, I've been smelling good. I've been smelling good recently. I have this new deodorant, and when I go like this, normally it's like somebody put two-week-old Chipotle in a microwave for two minutes, too long. And that's what I smell when I'm driving. I've been using this new deodorant, and it smells...

It smells good. I smell like soap all the time, even if I don't bathe. I can just put deodorant on. What is it? I can't say. They're not paying. What's your scent? Soap. It's a soap scent. It's a soap scent. And that's what I have to say. Is it soap? I don't know, but it smells like soap. You're pissing me off! He's already threw it! You're pissing me off! What I gotta say is, you've been smelling worse than me recently. Yeah, right. Cam, you, this is what, when you smell bad, you smell bad.

I do. You smell worse than I could ever imagine me smelling. Now that is a bold face lie. You smell like a dog park outside in the summer with wet grass and molded pennies. How often? I'm not saying often. I'm just saying when you smell bad, you smell horrible. I smell horrible, yes. It's like I can smell your DNA whenever you smell bad.

You can smell my genetic makeup. Dude, like you reek. No, when I stink, it's a stench. It's like something's rotting inside of you. But, would you rather smell... Why were you... What happened? You followed my finger. Yeah, because it was so red. I said, but you... You were playing with a magic trick. Would you rather smell like me? Awful. Dead garbage, right? Awful. Yeah, like a raccoon's home. Twice a month? Yeah. Or, smell like you.

Five out of ten. Six out of ten stench. But I think this has just become a joke in the podcast. I don't smell bad that often. No, you really don't. Thank you. There was a point in life where I did. I was about to say. Rewind a year or two. It was funky. It was bad, bro. It was like, do you know deodorant? Are you going through this natural life path? If you are, I'm not one to judge. If you see this, just know I mean it in the most loving way. I can feel... You smell a lot better now. It's like I can feel my puberty. But I...

I think you used to rely on cologne. No. I think now I rely on cologne. I couldn't afford cologne back then. You always had cologne. No, I didn't. I never had cologne. I would have sample bottles. There we go. Never mind. That was my go-to. I would go to the mall and get sample bottles. But all cologne is, it's an enhancer. Your scent shouldn't be your cologne. It enhances you. Your actual...

actual living scent was rubbish like it was bad like you you as a human being didn't smell good cologne is not to mask that cologne is i've bathed deodorant so i have body wash yeah deodorant possibly you just chewed the mic possibly lotion cologne is an enhancement yeah it cannot be your your identity i'm not going your tub stinks my tub stinks

When is the last time you've bathed in my tub for you to say that? You've literally haven't... No, you've showered once at our new place and it was the guest one. It wasn't mine. Your porcelain is stained by your smell. No, okay. I'm not talking about your home shower. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when we're on the road, right? We're on tour. And if I ever shower after you, I can tell Cam just got done in here. Because I shit? Yeah.

You think you pierce this in. I shit, then I shower. That is a respectful move. Because y'all got the big, y'all always get the big rooms where we stay. Correct. Sometimes I want to use the big room. I'm like, in Austin, you got the big room. Nice shower. There's also three other people bathing in there. How do you know it's me?

Three other people bathing in there. You, Liv, Ashlyn, and you bathed. There's four people total that bathed in there. Me and three others. I did it once. Ashlyn did it once. I'm just saying, whenever I follow you, stop trying to defend yourself. Okay.

You stink like ass. I shit and then shower. Dude, but it's like weird. There's corn nuggets in my poop and then I bathe. Why are you so gross? Poop again. Poop talk. The day we go without poop talk, I'm giving everybody a hint of grand. Literally. It's never going to happen. It's never going to happen. No, but like whenever you get out of the shower and I follow you up, it is just like you would have been great in like – War. War.

In ancient times, your musk would have gained you power. You would have been like, I rule the earth.

You know what I mean? I could use it. I could make enemies out of my stench. Yeah. Okay, it's not. That's a bit. That's a stretch. No, I'm telling you. You make porcelain stink. I poop in the shower. It's not the poop, bro. It's not a poop smell. How the hell does my body stink after I bathe? It's like layers of your skin come off and like melts into the porcelain and then now it's eroding and now the funk is coming up. You smell like lava.

Pierce, with a gun to your head, if you had to lick my armpit or his armpit, who would you lick? You have to lick an armpit. Mine or his? No, your pits are worse than mine. Whose pit? Stinch everything you know. My ass stinks. Everything you know included. Whose armpit? That's stupid. No, but I have found out that...

Like, do you ever do something intentionally gross? Not intentionally gross. Do you ever find out you're unintentionally gross? Oh, yeah. It happens to me quite often. Right? And I figured it out. Like, I know some things I do are just gross. But I do them. Right? And I'm aware what I'm doing is gross. I agree. I've unintentionally done something gross for the past six years of my life. And I haven't taken these earrings out that are in my skull for six years. Not once. The only time they came out was when your dog bit them out.

You haven't took those out in six singular time not once I forget that they're there never once have I taken them out shower with them on get into Okay, hot tubs with them on we want to talk about stenches, right? If you remove that gold who you will literally kill a village. I'm starting to get keloids No, you don't yeah, I got a keloid right here. You have a keloid. Yeah, show me your ear look I

Can you see it? Or maybe it's this ear. I don't know. But this is when I found out I was gross because this is what reminded me that I had these earrings on for six years. So I woke up the other night and I was laying on my side and my earlobe was swollen. Like it hurt. And I was like, what the f***? And then I look at my pillow, right? And I have white pillowcases. And there was green and red on the pillow. And then I squeezed my earlobe like this and it said, and I like my ears getting licked too. So this is not advantageous for anybody.

Did you just admit that you had literal gunk? Yeah, goo. Goo ear syndrome. Oh my god. I had to ice my ear. I never took the earrings out, but I iced them. You still didn't take it out? I haven't yet. Your ear literally secreted like disease. Yeah. And you left it in there. But whenever we go to LA, I'm going to get new earrings. I'm just going to get big studs to cover up the keloids.

That actually just started sweating a lot. Green and red pus. No, I'm not going to lie. Liv's mom kissed my keloid, and I never said anything about it. Because your mom always gives me kisses on the cheek when I hug her. But I was like... What was she like? She was like, oh, baby. And there was like a green like... I would have shot one of you. One of you would have had to leave. No, and I felt terrible about it, but I never brought it up. Well, now you know, Lolly.

She's like, she said rust? That straw made of copper? No. That is, that's worse, I think, than anything I've ever done. Six years? Yeah. But you're weird. You take off everything when you sleep. I take off everything. Yeah. That was a good week by me. That was a good week by me. Okay, I have a, okay, this has nothing to do with six years ago. More like 12. Old nostalgia thing. Yeah, my brain works in mysterious ways. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Do you remember, okay, walk with me. Let's teleport to a Taco Bell 2009, okay?

2009 Taco Bell, prime time, right? That's when they still did the 70s look in there. The 90s look, you're walking in, right? Do you remember that tower game? With the penny? With the coin? Yeah. You could win free shit? Hell yeah, I remember that. It was fantastic. At one point in time, I'd say for a five-month stretch, that was my identity. Yeah. I went to school bragging about it. I literally said, if you give me a nickel, I can give you cinnamon twists. I never lost at that. I had it down to a T. Bro, that reminds me. I gave a thousand pennies to leukemia. You can't laugh at that.

I did, it was called "Pennies for Patients." I'm not laughing at the cause, I'm like, "You just said you gave money to a disease, you didn't say the corporation." Oh yeah, that's wrong. You said, "I gave a thousand pennies to leukemia." You didn't! There's a corporation! That's like, "Ah yeah, I gave six cans of food to lupus." Like, there's a company!

I remember when I donated, yeah, I donated 10 grand to cancer. What is the company? Was it an angel fund? Was it a, what is it? You said I gave money to leukemia. Pennies for patients is what it was called. Here we go. It was in Ms. Winkler's class. I am so tired of it. We need to have Ms. Winkler on this damn podcast. I miss her. That reminds me though, one day they had a mathalon at my school.

You went to a private school, I swear to God. They had a mathalon competition in my school and you were excluded from your fourth period class. Only one period, right? Okay.

What grade was this? This was about, I was just about to say, I think sixth. Okay. Sixth or seventh. One of the first where you have multiple classes. And I was like, all right, I'm going to do my hardest. And we get, just being a loser. Yeah, yeah. As you would. Just loser shit like I would. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to kill everyone else because it was just competition. But then when I got there, I found out every math question you answered rice, 10 grains of rice was donated. What? 10 grains? My poor feeble mind didn't understand what 10, it's like.

So 10 grains per question, right? Tell me why I was thinking I was feeding millions. I was sitting there. I answered, I answered hundreds of questions. And at the end, it gave me my total. And I'd be lying if I said, I remember exactly. It was some in the thousands, like just regular. It was like, I did, I don't know, 2000, 3000. You got one bowl. And I was like, I was like, I'm,

am i philanthropist i was like i'm doing great i'm doing god's work and then i went home and i googled i said google images i went three thousand grains of rice it wasn't it's like half a bowl of rice i was like i said that's such a scam i was like i just fed one lady like that was it barely she's not she's still not even full she had a serving she had one service that reminds me of box tops

Yes or no, was I a box top geek? I was a little. You give off those vibes. I was good. I was so good with giving with all the other shit in school. Something about box tops, my mom hated. She did not mess with box tops. Because you'd have to cut them off the cinnamon toast crunch. Stop cutting up my box. I intentionally...

purchased items when I went to the grocery store with my mom that had box tops. She's like, this is your favorite. I said, this one can give back though. I was a little philanthropist. But then again, I came to realize every box top was like 10 cents. I'm like, did I just donate like a hot, like, what do you, that's one meal. That's funny. It's better than nothing. This episode is brought to you by our friends and a close, close friend of mine,

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Let's talk about our Austin trip. We went back home to the 512 for the Sold Out Austin show. Thank you to everybody that came to the Austin show. It was fantastic. We have a big surprise for everybody at the end of the summer. Let's not even talk about the show. The show is great. We love you. We'll talk about it more on Patreon. Let's talk about just Austin, Texas. Alright?

I love it. I love Austin. I grew up there. I love it. It's so different from whenever I grew up there. I want you to get into that. How it's different? The difference. I'm going to say 10 seconds first. I absolutely love Austin. It's very fun. It's like the whole, I said community, like it's 20 people. There's millions of people, right? But the whole vibe of the city is like, be active. Get outside. Take your shirt off. Get some, that sounds crazy. There's a lot of naked people. A lot of naked people. Not like naked being weird, but just absorbing sun. Everyone has a dog. It's just very like...

It makes you feel good when you're there. But you kept telling us, God, this is so different. I've lived in Austin since 1999. Explain it. To...

2017. So Austin, before the big Austin boom. So Austin used to be like this community. It was just like, it was weird. Everybody was from Austin, right? There was these food spots that were gross. Not gross, they tasted fantastic, but bad for you. Then everybody from LA and California moved to Austin.

And now Austin is just LA. Literally. Nobody in Austin is from Austin anymore. So they changed everything. And all the food, you can get hemp grass here. You can get vegan tacos here. Vegan waffle, yeah. I'm like, and then everybody like. Where's the grease? It's like everybody's just like, it's a bunch of, everybody got armpit hair and dreadlocks now, no matter your nationality. No matter. So many leg tattoos. Oh, the leg tattoos were a blast.

bundle. I'm like, bro, it's just different. It's just different. It's just, do you like the difference or do you not? It's good to visit. I will never live there again. I will never live there because it just makes me kind of sad. It's like, this isn't my home. It's not, it's not. But,

one of the things in Austin is the big thing is Lady Bird Lake. Yeah. Right there by Zilker or Barton Springs, whatever. There's this big river, right? And a lot of people go kayaking on this, right? I don't even know if it's a river or lake. I don't know bodies of water. And for Cam's bachelor party, we went kayaking. And I can't swim. I'm scared of water. A lot of dead bodies are found in that water. I don't like it.

But I love Cam, and I was like, is your bachelor party? We'll go kayaking. Yes. So Cam, when we came back to Austin for this show, he goes, let's go kayaking. No. But you've already done it once. No. I will drown. I don't like it. You are wearing a life jacket. I don't trust life jackets. What?

I feel like that's a good first step, but then you will still have to know how to keep going. I don't know how to keep going. You don't do anything. If you fall over, your water, you're like, and then you're just like this.

No, I'm- You just float. No, I'm top heavy. I feel like I'll roll over. I feel like my head will- If I stay still, I'm top heavy. I'll just roll. What the hell did you- Top heavy? I'm top heavy. This upper half, I'll just go- You know what I mean? You don't- It's not a ball. You're not cylindrical. You can't- You're literally just bobbing. You're like this. Top heavy. I'm top heavy. I'll roll like a bowling ball. You're not top, middle, or bottom heavy. I'm middle heavy.

I got a lot of weight distribution down there. My lower back is in shambles. Good morning to you. How are we doing? Feed your kids. You don't roll. You don't even move. But I don't understand. Two seconds underwater and then the life jacket does exactly what it needs to do. I weigh 210 pounds. Exactly. This same life jacket was given to a six-year-old. Exactly. That same life jacket that's saving a six-year-old is going to save big man, top heavy, big guy over here? See?

Science. Science backed. You float. You sit there and wait to be rescued. Can you not be a damsel in distress? No, bro. If water gets above the neck, I'm panicking. I'm losing my mind. That's the beautiful part. If you fell off your kayak, of course you're going to go underwater. Yeah. Of course you might make eye contact with a corpse. But after that two seconds, right? You go... I love when you make that noise. It's like a... It's like a... It's like a...

It's like a rebirth and you're sitting there and you just So you're saying I have to do nothing with my legs Absolutely nothing You're lying You could literally be like this under the water And that life jacket is gonna keep I don't believe that You don't have to believe it There's nothing to believe Bro the science of shit doesn't make sense Like doorbells What? Where the hell is the noise from the doorbell coming from in my house? How am I in my bathroom when I hear the doorbell? That is a fantastic question

So you're saying you I was door dashing the other day I was in You were not door dashing No I ordered a door dash I ordered a door dash He thought I was out here delivering people's food Your shit would be gone before he got to the door The worst ever But I don't understand doorbells You know what I mean

So like this, so the doorbell, they just put that John on there right there on the door, right? I put it on there. Yes, I did. It was a ring doorbell. I have a ring doorbell. That's a ring. I'm going to hit you in public. That is a doorbell. It has a button and it goes. Okay. So I just put that on there, screwed it into the wall. Boom. What was that doorbell?

That's a sad-ass doorbell, first off. That is a great value doorbell. My name's Cam. I'm rich as can be. I have a ring as well, Jack! Exactly. How the hell does it work? So listen, my house is three stories. Not even trying to be like, it's a big house, right? I got it on a discount. It's my friend's parents' house. They let me use it. Not true at all. None of that's

None of that is true. I have a semi-large house, right? Yes, you do. It's nice. So, I was upstairs on the top floor in my bathroom, which is pushed back. It is the back top of the house. Closed door and all. I had the wind going to suck up the poop. You have the wind going. Explain that. It goes...

Sucks up the poop smell, right? And I'm listening to music on my iHome, right? I'm listening to music. I'm shitting my brains out. The wind's going. I'm at the top floor back of my house, right? The door dasher from three stories down rings the doorbell. I can hear that. It's doom! Where the fuck is that noise coming from? I don't have speakers in my house. Yes, you do.

Yes, you do. Oh my God, I have speakers in my house? How else do you think you can hear it? That's my question. How else do you think you can hear it? Make it make sense. Hey, you've been in my house. Yeah. Where is the speaker? You can't see it.

I'm not saying it's a ghost. There's spy speakers. I have spy speakers in my house. I have spy speakers. I'm saying you haven't looked for it. It is definitely there. Where? How? They're typically up. If you go to like normal houses, like kind of older houses, you see that thing right there. They can't see it, but do you see it? It'll look something like that. Sometimes they're just boxes. It'll be a whole box up at the top. I'll give you $10,000 if you find a speaker in my house.

That's not true. There's no speakers in the house. So how are you hearing it? That's my question, but you're lying. There's no speakers in my house. Kim, I've been to every square inch of my house. Adorba. Adorba. You built it? I bought it. I thought you said you built it. I was about to spank you. You built it. Say it. Say you built it. Kim, there's no speakers in my house. It's... It's... It's...

That's a thermostat, Pierce. Yes, it's like a little box in older houses. Okay, so where's the speaker in my bathroom? I haven't been in your bathroom but one time. There's nothing in there. I haven't been in your bathroom. There's nothing in there in that bathroom. It's a two by four. I'm telling you, if you are hearing it, clear as day. In there. Okay, how though? I physically bought that ring doorbell. I put it on the wall right by my door. I had freedom of choice where I put that thing. Freedom of choice. Anywhere on that door I could have put it. Screwed it in, screwed it in, connected to the app.

I don't think you didn't buy that ring doorbell. That was already there. That was already there. Was it not? I bought a new one. I didn't trust that one because the landlord had that one. They had the password. So not like that. That's a fair point. But a ring, if the rings going all the way through your house, then it's obviously it's hardwired in there somehow. Like that spot that you connected it to a regular door. I have a choice. It's a magic trick. Is it David Blaine? The David Blaine built this house. What the hell? Mind freak. What is?

What is going on? I don't understand doorbells. Okay, let's break it down. That shit nauseates me. Let's break it down. You're taking a shit. Ding dong. You're like... You just get freaked out. I'm literally like this. Okay, so hear me out. So loud. Let's start from step one. Regular doorbells. Yes. They are wired to that spot. That's why they're in the same spot. Regular. That wiring goes through the foundation. It's a long wire. Wires can be long. Who put that wire there? The people that built the house.

Then why can't you buy doorbells at Home Depot? Because you can put different fixtures on it. The wire is still the wire. That's how a doorbell... Matter of fact, to...

We're going to reverse psychology this. You explain to me, without saying, I don't know, try to make it make sense. How are you hearing a bell from outside if there's not speakers? God, yeah. He's just going, dong, every time you get a visit. No, that's the crazy part. Anywhere in my house, I can hear it loud as can be. So logically, what does that mean? There's not a goddamn speaker on my staircase, Cameron. It's not on your staircase. It's in the house.

It's hidden. Where, Cam? We'd have to go excavate the bitch and take some pictures and find it. So a house built in 1980. Yes. An old ass house, right? Has a doorbell. Yes. Where are the speakers at in there? My grandma has a doorbell. Ain't no goddamn speakers in there. Okay, that's your thing. You're probably thinking there's a

Subwoofer on the ceiling with the DJ palette. There's a little fly family throwing raves at night. No, it's very discreet for a reason. Who wants a big ass 12 inch speaker? But how can I hear it? Everywhere is the question. You have different floors. Each floor.

Floor has speaker. Each floor has capability. Each room has one too? The floor. Then how can I hear it so clearly when I close my door to my laundromat? So are you in a simulation? Are you a robot? No. Are you different from us? No. Then... So there's a mixer? There's a mixer? No. I can turn down the levels? There's not a soundboard. I can turn down the levels? There's not a soundboard. But I'm saying... What if I'm mentally impaired? Not mentally. Audibly impaired.

Can I turn it up? People have flashes for those. There's flashing doorbells for audio. Okay, cool. It's green today. No. It's Wednesday. No, you have to install that. A typical doorbell. There is a thing. Install.

Huh? Exactly. You have to install the speaker. You have to install the light. The light. Somebody has to install the speaker. I never installed a speaker. There's no speakers. The person who built it did! There's no speakers in my house. I looked around. So how can you hear everything? Cam, Cam, Cam. On Patreon, we're going to vlog this. We're going to vlog my house. I'm going to give you my address to my house. Everybody, come kill me. We're going to give the address to my house. We're going to have a meet and greet in my house. Everybody come to my house. First person to find my speaker gets $10,000. I will be the first. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Bro, you just went batshit crazy. I know. Because I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. It's a speaker, bubba. Why didn't for your bachelor party you let me give you a lap dance? Because Liv said no strippers and I could have been one. I could have given you a little dance. I could have been a fireman. EMT. EMT. Police. You were going to be a cop. You were going to be a cop and tie me up and strip on me. Do you hear yourself? Do you hear yourself?

You wouldn't like that? No. No. God, no. I'm just, well, for my bachelor party, if I ever have one. I'm not doing it.

That's so selfish of you. I got into the water for you. That was life-danger-ing for me. Me strapping up as a skimpy nurse and giving you a lap dance is not life-danger-ing. Exactly. That is pure pleasure. Exactly. You creep. I gave you pleasure on your bachelor party for getting in the water. Watch it. Watch it. You better finish that sentence quicker. By getting in the water, did that pleasure you? Yeah. You did something. Yes. So pleasure me. I will. Dress up as a sexy nurse. No. As a Joker nurse. You can put face paint on, so I don't know what to count on.

The way you hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me. Come on, hold me. Now. No, you need help. I've said this for over a year and a half now. I know. I'm going to start looking into it. The inside of my body itches. So we got in a big fight in Austin over breakfast. We had a big fight. So in Austin, we rented an Airbnb. We had to cook breakfast in the kitchen. Now, we had bacon.

For breakfast at our Airbnb. Oh, my God. We had nine people in the house...

Everybody was different on how they wanted their bacon. Cam, the way you like your bacon makes me want to punch you in the throat. I guarantee more people like bacon like me than they like you. How do you like bacon? Guarantee. I like my shit crisp. Yeah, you like charcoal and rocks. I'm not saying dirt to where you can go. Cam, you said you literally talked to the person who's cooking the bacon. You said it's not black enough. That was a word that came out of your mouth. That is. I want it charred. Talking about charred, Cam. I.

Let's explain to them how you like it. Damn near raw. I want that bitch oinking at me almost. Exactly. You like your meat translucent. You want to be able to hold it and still see me on the other side. Hey, nasty boy, I like a little flavor and juice in my bacon. Sorry. Hey, caveman, we figured out how to cook things. Let it cook a little bit. Hey, I forgot you work on a coal mine and you want to eat char. There's no...

It's not chai. It is bacon. You might as well jump on a locomotive going down the street and like, I'll eat your fuel. Don't worry about that, you nasty bitch. Sorry. You might as well kill the pig right then and there. He's literally screaming. You grab his cute little side. Go after it. Oh, my God. Kim, what's the point of the bacon without the flavor?

Is the flavor gone when I cook it longer? Yes! That's exactly what happens, actually. No, the fat leaves. That's fine. I don't like the fat. I don't like the gristle part. What? I don't like going... That's the best part. On bacon. When it curls a little bit and you put your tongue in there. But yours barely curls. Yours looks like you took a literal raw piece of bacon, threw it on, looked at it for 10 seconds, picked it up, flipped it, same thing, took it off. I want my shit like wet tissue paper, almost.

Oh my God. No, there's, that is inexcusable. I'm not taking the L on this. And who do they side with more in Austin? Just our close people. I don't give a shit what these losers said. Bacon is not, raw bacon is literally what you feed like animals. They want to eat the tires off the Polar Express. I don't give a shit. I like my shit with a little juice and flavor. I want my shit. This is what you do. You put that bitch on there. Sizzles for about 10 seconds. 10 seconds. You flip it. 10 seconds. You're done.

I'm surprised you haven't had a disease yet. I probably have a couple. You probably do. I'm surprised your stomach is not rotten. Bro, a bacon like a little raw, not a little raw, but barely cooked, that shit is like a warm towel that you get out of the dryer. Oh my God. I almost bought you one of those. A warm towel? A dryer? A towel warmer. What is a towel warmer? You plug it into an outlet. That's too much work. I would have never used it. I would have never used it. What the f- I'm glad you didn't do that. Waste of money for you.

I gotta plug some shit in the wall to use a towel? All you do is plug it in and then your towel. It's gas. It's money. It's sex. Wait, you plug the towel into the wall? Shut up! You plug... It's a little... It's like a little... Imagine like a small looking hamper. Okay? It just sits in the corner of your bathroom. Oh, so it's like a... Oh, I thought you were thinking... I was thinking of like... Like an air mattress when it was deflated and you just put the towel in there and you fold it over. I don't know why my mind went so descriptive but that's what I thought of. You... Wear my hat. I'm not kidding.

It smells so much like you. Like a sweaty, runny Peyton. Wear my hat. Please. I might have to adjust it in the back. No, just do it like how it is this year. That looks good, bro. I remember you used to wear hats all the time. I miss it. It's like Seminole cam. You look good, bro. Thank you. You look like you can spend a mean 16 about how much Detroit means to you. Off of him and me, him and me, rocks him and me, him and... No, but... That's an awfully high coffee platter. I dump it on Donald Trump. Probably not.

Give me the hat back. Yeah, no, you need it and I don't. Can we switch clothes? No. You've been wearing this shirt for two days, three days now. No, I'm not switching clothes. Oh my God. What's up? Why are you itching yourself? One, but I'd be willing to bet there's a stain on the shirt somewhere. Not sweat. Sweat's obvious. It's hot as shit. Oh yeah, right here. This is a new shirt too. It was part of the leftovers we had.

I just got it today. I stained it in the cabinet. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Good morning to you. How's your mom? We're talking about the merch, the Austin merch. Do you remember? Do you remember at the t-shirt store? Holy shit. Oh my God. Y'all. Okay. You want to tell it?

You chime in. I'll set the scene. Okay, set the scene. So Peyton said we had our Austin show. It's his homecoming, his hometown. He's the hometown kid himself. So we did an exclusive merch. By the way, if you don't know what that is, that is a very, very famous wall in Austin that people travel to literally to take pictures. It's called the I Love You So Much wall. And we disgraced it. We crossed that shit out. It's this big, like, what would you call it? Turquoise, greenish wall. It's like a greenish wall. It's like a greenish wall that has that in that same font right there. It says I love you so much. It says I love you so much. Couples take pictures by it. All that, right? Cross it out. Put YSK.

That's the awesome part. Anyway, we were going to get these shirts made. And when I... You have to describe it, bro. So we go into this t-shirt store about 40 minutes out from where we live, right? We're on the phone with them before. We're like, we're telling them exactly what we want. We got pricing. We got sizes. We got everything. We go in there. We're like...

hey cool uh in there they had a whole bunch of t-shirts that they already made and that all of them were different textures different blanks all this stuff so the guy goes hey i know you said you want this kind of shirt but go ahead and feel around on our wall of displays and see what shirt actually like tickles you which one you actually want to sell so me and so we go we're feeling on these shirts that are hung up right we're feeling them oh we like this one we like this one we get to this one shirt at the end right

These are all shirts that they've made for people. We get to this one shirt. We're all up inside the shirt, feeling it like this. We're rubbing it, grabbing the collar. We pull it out. We look at it. It was like an obituary picture of somebody. It was an all-in.

This is an RIP shirt. Doves and all. Name. Her face. Someone's aunt was just right there on the shirt. And my ass was tickling her nose. I'm like grabbing her shit. I'm like, oh no. Okay, but to make it even worse, you know how he said we're feeling the first, the first cup was like a football team shirt. Yeah. Like a damn, a random ass, like a family reunion, right? Yeah. And then we get to that one. We're feeling it. And we lit, first off, oh my God, if y'all could have seen it. It was one of those, it was one of those moments.

It was like, it felt like if we laughed, we were gonna die. Right then and there. We were literally like, 'cause it shocked and scared the hell out of us. Tell me why we go after the first shirt, there was like 10 of 'em. It was like a, it was a graveyard. It was unbelievable, I was like,

You couldn't pick any other shirt. Any other design to have is this... Because all they're doing is showing the shirt. Like, each shirt was different. Showing the shirt. Different material, different weight, different brand. That's all it is. Yeah. There was, like, nine obituary shirts back to back in a row. Think about how creepy that is. With real human beings that are dead. People's loved ones. That died. People's loved ones are getting felt on. And we were like...

Where are we right now? Dude, that shit. It was so funny, but so sad and so scary. We felt like we had bad omens following us for a week. It was, holy hell. That was bad. Oh my God, I forgot all about that. Dude. That shit was bad. Okay, I don't know why this thought just hit my mind. Okay, that's very scary. Speaking of dead people. Okay.

How do you want to be buried when you die? Do you want to be buried? I want to be taxidermied. I already said that. Have you ever said? I definitely don't want to be taxidermied. I still don't think you can comprehend how scary that'd be. For y'all. If you were taxed and you said you want to add wheels to you. You want to put you on a base? Take me to the vents. Like a band instrument and just wheel it around. Yeah, take me on events. But what would you want?

It's casket? Just put me normal. Yeah. Nice little tombstone. I feel like they do something wicked with those caskets. Like, I feel like, because there's so many, think of how much. I wouldn't, okay. How many people die? A lot. Every day. People are dying. Millions. Every day, people are buried in the ground. Correct. How much ground do we have? You don't think they've ever just, you don't think they've just taken some people out? Like, you died in 1940. We're going to take you out. We're going to put somebody out. Bro, think about that, honestly. That's sad, but think about it. They probably do. Like in Austin, I'm not going to lie.

Austin is filled, right? There's no room for anything. And they still have these cemeteries just randomly placed, right? That are full. I know Austin. I live there. I know people that died in Austin. Yeah. But also, to your point, not everyone is in a casket. I would say majority are. I'd say it's 70%. That's a lot of people. That is. That's a ton of people. That's not even what I was asking. You think that's a total tie? I'm not even... That was just a side point. I was asking if I killed somebody, right? Yeah.

so why were we even talking about it just kind of came if i your whole mind is on death right now if i killed somebody right and you knew i did it i told you about i called you right after as cam i got him good he's gone he's not coming back i'd do whatever i'd help it'd be okay and then i have a court date i have a court date right okay i'll go to court call cameron to the stand there you go cam

There's a call right after. I really hope this never happens because they're going to use this as evidence. There's a call right after this killing took place, right after this crime took place. Mm-hmm.

Peyton called you. We think Peyton did it. Why'd he call you? What'd he say? He was on his way home from Chipotle and we were talking about topics for the next week's thing. He just saw something crazy that happened in the restaurant. He simply called me. I put it down in my notes and I actually have it. You can check the timestamp on my notes. Oh. So you would go back, but what if there's no timestamp? What if you were so distraught by me telling you this information, you wouldn't think to put timestamps in your... I'm prepared for anything. I'm prepared for the moment. Okay.

Okay, I'm not going to lie. I think you would absolutely defile me. If roles were reversed, you'd probably be like, he did it. I'm not. That is a him thing. A solo man job. Have you seen my butt?

What? I'm not going to jail for you. Oh, you have a nice ass? Bro, high and tight. That's fake as hell. Do you see how quick I just did that? That's your fault. I didn't ask you to do that. Okay, Mr. Harden, we actually have a phone call coming from Mr. Kennedy's phone directly after we think he committed this crime to your phone. Do you mind sharing your insight on that phone call? Yeah, bro, he called me. He said, I did that shit.

I tried to tell him not to. Okay, try to think of a real one. Try to cover me. Okay. Mr. Harden, there was a phone call at 8.12 p.m. last Tuesday evening immediately after we think Mr. Kennedy committed this crime. Do you want to share some insight on that phone call? What was said? Mr. Harden, is there something funny right now? I'm going to my court. Why are you laughing? You took an oath to God and this nation. What was the question one more time? If he killed somebody? There was a...

Did he kill somebody? There was a phone. That's what we're trying to figure out, Mr. Harden. And we think you know about it, which is also a serious offense. There was a phone call at 8-12 Tuesday evening right after we thought he committed this crime. To your phone, you answered it. Y'all shared the phone call for 13 minutes. Would you like to share some insight on what was happening during that phone call? Most of our phone calls, I just make them real comfortable and show them my butt. I showed them my butt. Mr. Harden, are you...

Are you on the record saying you showed him your butt? I show my butt a lot. On an audio phone call? Because this wasn't a FaceTime. Oh, shit. Oh, you're seeming to sweat. Are you lying on the stand? No, I'm just scared. Scared of what? The imprisonment which you might deal with? Have you seen my butt? This is a minimum of 10 years we're talking of you in the cell. Have you seen my butt? Mr. Harden, are you asking me nudity questions on this stand? I can't go to jail.

in the court. If you can't go to jail, tell us he didn't. Tell us you know. He didn't. I know. God damn it. That was two minutes of work and you crumbled. Why would they ask me though? Why would you let them ask me? Because I called you. What?

Because you're my best friend. I just off somebody. I gotta let it out. I'm trying to get your help We have some resources. Maybe we can get something popping. I feel like there's somebody better you could call it Honestly, I would that'd be a horrible call if I called you that would be my that'd be bad But that was abysmal you just failed like that. Yeah, I'm not good at lying. I

Under pressure, at least. I was about to say, day-to-day lies, they're a breeze for you. I don't have that drink. Oh, shit. The drink's right there. But I don't think that's me lying. No, it's...

I think it's you don't care so much about it. You just blab the first thing that you think of. And it ends up being an accidental lie. But it's still a lie. Because, yeah, my mind... You're like, bro, my shoes literally are not over there in the corner. Because it's like my mind is so focused on more important shit that I don't...

think to like think about minuscule stuff like that you don't care oh my god dude I I'm actually hurt right now do you I'd be in prison either way oh yeah I'm in jail I'd rather your butt than mine I'm in jail either way yeah I'd rather your butt than mine that's why would you take a bullet for me like an airsoft gun

Would you take a bullet? A lethal one? A real gun. Like a lethal... Someone has me 10 yards away and you get this beautiful, this beautiful Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill moment. All right, Joe. You can dive right in front of that bullet. Say the world goes slow-mo for you and you literally have the option. Yeah.

To get right in front of that bullet. Would you do it for me? If you think my timing is good enough for me to jump in front of a fast-ass bullet, I would move. I would jump for it. I would miss it. You'd still be dead. I'd be like, I tried. You'd literally go, no, watch out! Wait, Mr. Gunman! You'd run and go, and he'd literally go, he'd double tap me. You would just fall on concrete. You'd be like, uh,

And then you go, wait, Cam, no. And now you're dead too. And now we both die because your timing's off. That's so sad. What would you do if I died tomorrow? What would I do? What would you do if I died tomorrow? Indeed.com. I'd have to find somebody. No, I would cry. I would very much petition for your wife and your parents to let me taxidermy you. I would very much. You would take a lot of stuffing, but those hips of you.

I would be like, if y'all bury him, at least cut off the hips and let me keep him. I want to point out a fact. I just asked you if my life ended tomorrow. Yeah, I'd be pretty sad. You said, I'd be pretty sad tomorrow.

I'd probably cry. Yeah. Okay? Two things about the saddest. This is making me kind of sad. You then said you would ask my family to taxidermy me. Yeah. You would immediately go on Indeed. And then? And what'd you say? You'd have to find someone else to do the job? And I'd ask for your hips if they didn't let me suff you. Now, this is the answer I was hoping for. Okay. Ask me. If I died tomorrow, what would you do? This is making me sad. I would be in complete, utter, abysmal despair.

isolated depression if you died tomorrow. I understand. I don't give a damn how... You bastard! I don't give a damn how your funeral... I would want to take place in your funeral. I would want to speak at it. Of course, you would be sorry. You son of a bitch! I'd be crying non-stop for weeks. I'd go, he finally can't tell me no.

I'd be crying non-stop for weeks. I don't give a shit what happens afterwards. Weeks? Only weeks? You said I might cry at mine. You know my heart is... It needs help. It needs surgery. I can't even say I love you. No, he... Bro, he...

Let's talk about that. I don't know when this turned so dark and twisted. You turned this into a gloomy episode. Peyton cannot tell me he loves me. I do tell you I love you. No, you don't. I never do. You do when it's literally pulling teeth. No, that's not true. I damn near have to grab your haunches and snake you.

I'll call you anything if you do that. Oh my God, I just realized that. What? In a serious way, you won't tell me you love me. That's not true. But if I were to slightly arouse you, you'd say it in a heartbeat. That's not true. Oh my God. Well, when you arouse me, I'm fogged in the brain when I'm aroused. Guys, I'll be like, all right, like say after this, we're going to leave recording, right? Go to each other's respective homes. All right, dog. Love you. Watch. All right, dog. Love you, bro. It was a great day. He's like, yeah, bro.

What's another one? All right, bro. Hey, appreciate it. Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow morning whenever I wake up. Love you, bro.

Yeah, you too, dog. It's never, it's never, ever, and I love you. And it honestly is starting to affect me. All I do is, all right, bitch. Yeah, yeah, or that. You're lucky I'm giving y'all the damn censored version. He'll be like, all right, you too. Yeah. He does not. Because that's my way of showing love. We're all different. You can't tell me how to express my love. We all are different. I'm not going to try to. If I verbally abuse you, that means I love you. If I pick on you, that means I love you. That is. If I'm like, like, to Pierce, Pierce, I'll be like, yeah, Pierce, love you, bro.

Oh my god. Oh, Pierce looks so sad. Look at him. Pierce knows I love him. No, it's just... I don't know. It's weird. Not weird for me. It's just hard for me. When I'm drunk, I'll say it easily. You say it a lot when you're drunk. But that's...

Three people that don't lie to you. Drunk people, mad people, and kids. Yeah. So if you're true heart of hearts, when you're drunk, you tell me you love me. I never hide the fact. We need to work on getting the day-to-day sober, Peyton, to say it. I'm not hiding the fact that you know I love you. Yes. Okay, so calm the f*** down. What do you want me to give you? You want me to kiss you in the mouth every day too? Don't try me. Yeah, I'm about to say you love that. Okay, it's just hard for me. I love you, bro. Yeah.

No, it's not like I don't but like this is where I say I love you if I'm drunk or if there's a super big moment coming on like when we're on stage like after shows say I love I say I love you all the time we come on stage I love you before we go on stage. I say I love you every show I say I love you before you go on stage. So get off of me. What about that? What about that Tuesday night seven o'clock? Why do you want that? You have a wife. I know she loves me. All right. She does a great job of telling me. Okay.

Yeah, thank you. But does it not, everyone likes to hear it once in a while. I tell you once in a while. You just want more. I hear it once a month right before we get on stage. Hey, love you, bro. Good luck. I'm like, damn it. That's what I get. That doesn't give you a little boost before you get out there? Why were people's hairs so big in the 60s? Why was their hair so big? That has been haunting me for the longest and I don't know why. Why was it so damn big?

That is a good point. Like, when did that become a thing? Why was that a thing? I think there was an overuse of hairspray. But I'm talking origin story. Origin story? I think it comes from the colonial days.

Because they're trying to be like the founding fathers. Like the cool version. Like that's like the street wear version. So they were trying to have non-synthetic natural wigs, but they were, it was so, think about it. Have you looked at pictures of your grandma from back in the day? I'm like, what the hell were you doing? Yeah, bro. I watched a video of my grandma. Her shit was, I don't know. Bro, my grandpa had a fro all the way to his dying day. Yeah. Still had a head of hair. Okay. What if they brought that back? No. No.

What if Liv one day came back from the barbershop? Where do girls go? The salon. The hair salon. And she had like... Massive hair. Not even like an afro, because an afro was a good on her. But I'm saying like a... It was like straight, but curled and puffed. And she had bayangs. She had the bayangs. Oh, look at that. Yikes! Oh my god, like...

Like, no offense to anyone's grandma in here, but like... Big offense. People really thought that was cute back then? Dude, a lot of shit from back then is not cool. At all. Like... But, okay, it's weird because we... Yikes. Holy shit. No, it did come back for a little bit. The bump it. Holy shit, Liv, yes. No, you f***ing didn't. Liv wore a bump it. I don't even know what that is. There was like this clip you put in the back of your head and it goes like this. It looks like... You wore that dumb shit for cheer, didn't you?

You wore a picture with your red lipstick. Yep, now I know. Oh, that's Nazer. Liv looked like a piranha in one of her pictures with that red lipstick. She was like, sorry, love you, babe. No, bump it. So the big hair did come back for a little bit. It died out. That's when infomercials were hot. When every commercial was like the magical floating ball and all that.

The bumpets were a part of it. I want to share one more thing. I like when you share with me. I had a shower thought the other day. Was it about me? Unfortunately, no. It could be used on you, though. So it's an invention. Tell me. I don't know if it's ever happened. I don't know if it's ever been a thought. Tell me this doesn't make sense. Okay. You know how barbers give fades, right? Yes. Okay. Obviously, you get... Oh, my God. I get a good fade. Shout out to Brooks. Brooks. When are you going to go to Brooks? I'll go soon, I promise. You said that's past year. In the summertime. Okay. In the summertime...

Pipe down Helga! In the summertime I'll be going! You can't live Helga so much, who's Helga? Her literal alias. Yeah, her alter-ego is Helga. Why? What is a Helga? A viking that could jump off of a boat and invade another country? That's her when she gets angry for no reason. That's a good point. She's like, "NOOOOO!" And I just go like this. Her shit does look squinted on that left side.

Alright, Helga. She's not invading any country today. She's not invading shit. Alright, so your invention. You know how barbers give fates? Yes. Right? They gotta go to one, reclip. Sure, I didn't go to barber school. Okay. Tell me if this sounds even slightly realistic. Okay. Imagine a clipper. A big head on it. Okay? You can adjust the size because people have different size heads. They have those. Okay. Everything's invented so far that you're saying? But it's layered. The guard itself. Damn.

No. Yes, I do. No, I'm talking about they put it on. There's a switch on the side. No, no. That's the switch. That's all the switches. Oh, so you're saying with one foul swoop, you have a... With one swoop, it's going one, twos, and threes. That's hard. That's hard. That's hard. Did I think of something? We might cut it out. It'd be the...

Bro, so they either have to move the blade to make, to go up to it. Like, they have a guard that can go one to six, right? They clip it, move the blade. So without clipping, you get a full fade. I'm talking about without touching anything. You go like this, you have a fade. The guard itself. I know what he's talking about. Draw it on the whiteboard. That wouldn't make any sense. Imagine a big-ass guard, okay? It's like a half here.

0.75 here into a one into a one and a half and it ends at a two i like it so you literally start from the top at the two it's going to be right here and you go slowly as you're going up you have one full slow movement the whole thing's already faded you know what a better invention would be is that not if you could mold your lips and then i could kiss you and you would feel it okay without getting too much have you seen that one thing oh yeah that's fire we want to get one for us

Yeah, yeah. No. No? Absolutely not. Okay, so say I molded my lips, right? Okay. And I gave them to you. And they're electronic patent lips. I would use it as an anger management tool. You'd bite me? No, I'd punch it. I'd punch you in the mouth whenever I got too angry. And that's the difference. I'd make sweet kisses. I would never do that. I would never kiss them either, though. The You Should Know Podcast.

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I hope some people out in the world, yes. Are you positive? Yeah, because the love in the world is just, it's not where it's supposed to be, and I think the best love doctor needs to help it out. Hit it. All right, Lord, I have the submission, sire. All right, what is it? Are you ready? Yes. Dear Dr. P. Hello. Hello.

I've been dating this girl for almost a month and she never wants to be around me anymore and is always with her guy best friend and the only time we talk is at school or over text. I don't know what to do anymore. Go ahead and crush his lot. I'm going to put like an age restriction on Dr. B. Look, bro. God.

Just rip the bandaid off. With these kids, man. Rip it off. You've known her for a month? No, I've been dating for a month. Dating for a month. Let's assume they've known each other for a year. Let's just assume it. Dating for a month. She has a guy best friend. He's kissing her a lot. He's kissing her tongue mouth. A lot of boy and girl tongue mixing. A lot of boy and girl tongue. I'm so sorry. It's Dr. P. I'm honest. No, it's true. She does.

I'm not trying to be mean. You're spitting facts. Bro, it's done. You're cooked. You're in the gulag.

You have to fight your way back. No, don't fight your way back, bro. Leave. Leave with dignity. Let her run. Just be like, hey, bro. Tell her, hey, bro, I'm not getting the attention I think I deserve. You're a great girl. I had a great time. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted, but I feel like I'm not getting respected the way I wanted in this relationship. I'm going to choose to end it. And I'm 12 years old, too, so I'm going to have Algebra 2 next period. Cheers. Let's go. One more. Here we go. Hey, Dr. P. Hello. I've been talking to this girl for about a month. No. I swear to God.

What's with these one-month relationships? Y'all have problems, bro. And she says she's high class and she only wants Prada and Dulce and Gabbana and only likes to eat at high-end restaurants and wants a G-Wagon. With all that being said, I don't think I could provide for her the way that she wants. Send her to Dr. P. I could really use some advice. What should I do? Yo, you like that girl? In one month, she's asking for G-Wagons, Pradas, and high-end. Bro, she doesn't...

F this girl. Literally. Leave her. Who cares? Yeah, bro. If you don't have that, don't feel bad about it. And if she's not willing to be there for you whenever you're in the grind of getting to where you want to be, leave her. It's cool. If she's not cool going to Applebee's two for 20s or whatever, F her. No, I was waiting for that. I'm just kidding, bro. That's shallow. That's messed up. You don't deserve that. I mean, I don't know. What if he does have it, though? What if he has it? What if he has it like that? I think he might. No, he doesn't because he said he can't provide for it. Oh.

You know, we're helping young guns today. Yeah, leave. Last one. Here we go. All right, here we go. And this one's more of a, it's very short. Okay. It's awesome. I feel so good. Dear Dr. P, I just turned 18, and the longest I've ever been in a relationship was for less than 40 years. What's happening? Hey, it's a special young edition. It's the young edition this week. His question is, how do I keep her late?

There are so many lost souls on this Discord. There is lost souls. He's 18. His longest relationship is two days. No, he says less. He hasn't made it through two nights. He hasn't made it through a weekend. Literally, I swear to God. Look, that's the whole thing. There's nothing else. It just says, how can I keep a relationship? Oh, bro. And then it says, PS, here's my phone number. Like, you're going to shoot him tips. No. No shot.

Call? Do you start 67 so I just have your number? The You Should Know Podcast. All right, guys. We got the number in. Obviously, you're not allowed to hear that part. Here we go. We're making the call. Oh, oh, oh, heaven. Who am I calling? It might be a girl. Hello? Hi, this is Dr. P. Who is this? Hi, this is Molly.

Hi, Molly. Hey, Molly. I'm Dr. P. I'm here with Secretary Cam. You're on the podcast right now. We just got your Dr. P submission, right? And we have some questions. Okay. So your Dr. P reads, Dear Dr. P, I just turned 18 and the longest I've ever been in a relationship was less than 48 hours. How do I keep a relationship? So can you break that down for me a little bit, Molly? School and the longest.

Oh, so it wasn't your fault. Oh, so you just didn't like the guy. Okay. Okay. Is this your, is this your only experience in that, in that realm? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, this is what Dr. P would give you the best love doctor. Are you in a hurricane? What is that? Are you swimming? You need to be seeking shelter, Molly. Is there a tornado where you live?

What breed of dog? Oh, that's a great dog. Hey, Molly, that's what I would start with. You know what I'm saying? You take that golden doodle pup, right? You take that golden doodle pup. You go to your local dog park, right? Once you're at your local dog park, you find another boy with a nice shih tzu, right? Or maybe a golden retriever. And you let those dogs kiss. You kiss those dogs. And then you go up to that owner and you go, I want to kiss you like my dog's kissing you. I wouldn't do that, Molly. I wouldn't start there. I wouldn't. Yeah.

Oh, you never disrespect the love doctor. Never Molly. You hear me? This is doctor. This is it's not Peyton. It is Dr. P. I am a world. It's not Peyton. It's not Peyton. I love her day. It's not Peyton. It's Dr. P. No way. She couldn't even keep that two and a half hours. 48 hours.

Okay, Molly. Peyton would never do that. It was Dr. P. Dr. P felt disrespected. I've worked at my craft forever. I just got off the PJ. I got off my PJ from the Bahamas with 83 Instagram models. And you didn't take my advice. And I was really trying to get you some love. Okay, well now talk to Molly from...

From... Hold on. That was... Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Please God, talk to Molly from Peyton. Because she is in shambles right now. Molly, this is Peyton talking to you. I could never give you advice. I'm not a good love doctor. But my advice would be to take Dr. P's advice. She couldn't even hear you.

I gave her advice. I didn't give her advice. Dr. B gave her advice. I heard it. Now I think it's time for people's favorite segment. I'm going to call Molly after this. Everybody in the comments is freaking out. I'm going to call her after we record. Everybody relax. Molly, we love you. Pop culture. Pop culture. Panic cam. Pop culture. Panic cam. Pop culture. Ryan Garth. I'm just kidding. We're not getting into that. I have. Speaking of the fighting world, though, I know that was a joke. Uh,

Hell, this episode will come out Monday, but obviously we're recording it prior. This Friday and Saturday, Friday, Anthony Joshua and Francis Ngannou. That should be good. That is going to be nuts. The press conference is today.

I am cheering for AJ. I've always, I mean, I like Francis too, but I've always been a true fan to AJ. So I want AJ. When we met him at the mall, he's a big boy. He said, y'all do sport. Y'all do sport. I said, used to. You look like a tank. Anyway, I want AJ to win on Friday night. That's going to be crazy. And then we literally get to stay up late Friday watching that, wake up, and then Saturday, Sugar Sean O'Malley headlines UFC 299. I want 12 beers and some fried pickles. And we'll be exactly where you know that's going to take place to indulge in that. All right.

But we're not going to tell y'all. I love sugar. Well, I guess we could tell y'all because it's already going to be past. No, because we're going to go to more fights. That's very true. So we're going to go to our place there and watch that. And I'm very excited for this weekend for both of those. Good old fight weekend. Great fight weekend. Great fight weekend. There is a let's talk about a movie, right? Dune 2 came out.

I'm hearing crazy reviews. Great reviews for Dune 2. I don't know his name. I haven't even seen Dune 1. I haven't seen Dune 1. I'm going to watch it, and then we're all going to go watch Dune 2 in theaters. But they're saying, I don't know his name, but the villain in Dune 2, they're saying he's Heath Ledger, Joker. That's Austin Butler. Elvis. Elvis.

You know who Austin Butler is? Sure. You know who Austin Butler is? No, I'm talking about his name in the universe. Oh, yeah, I don't know. Cryo, so I don't know. Yeah, something like that. Like Proximus or whatever. Whatever the hell his name is. He's a great actor. They said the performance he gave in Dune 2 is like Heath Ledger Joker level. Yeah, I think now I get a little... Austin Butler's a great actor. Great actor. I saw him in Elvis. Fantastic. The way he did that role. Crazy. He's always been good.

I think a lot of those articles that come out now, I'm not going to say it, but I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know. I would say a lot of those are PR. A lot of the PR teams for these movies, they do that and they say like, oh, this, and it gets people excited for the movie. So I don't know. I,

I agree with that. I'm talking about from TikTok, bro. People's personal reviews. The TikTok movie reviewers, right? No, just random people talking about it. Some of them are movie reviewers. What are their TikToks? I don't remember the accounts. I'm saying, have you seen any of their other videos? Oh, no. All their videos and movies? No, no, no. I'm talking about just straight up on the timeline. It would come across. I know. I'm saying those TikTokers. I didn't go to their account. So if you look at those TikToks.

I don't want to, no, I'm not going to ruin these people's bags, but a lot of it is PR. Yeah. So I don't know. I'm just saying whenever I see that now, when it first happened, like whenever it's to this person's like Heath Ledger, I'd be like, Holy shit. But now I get to take it. I understand that it's marketing and all that shit, but I haven't seen the first dune. I started watching it about like a year ago. I don't know.

It was just way different than what I expected. And I was already tired when I started watching it. I fell asleep. I haven't gone back to it. So I need to watch it. And the reason I didn't finish it is because they promoted the shit out of Zendaya for the rollout of that movie. And I heard she was in it for like three minutes for the first one. So I was a little mad. I was like, you're already trying to play me. And I don't like when you try to play me. That's why Molly got banged on. Yeah.

But yeah, I'm excited to see Dune 2 or Dune 1 for that fact. We got to find Dune 1 and then go watch Dune 2. Oh, I have a website. We'll all sit. We'll sit in the back. We'll sit in the back. Yeah. And that was Pop Culture Payday Camp. Pop Culture Payday Camp. Bow! Get us out of here.

Alright everybody, episode 103. Next week's episode. Episode 104. If you do your math right, what is 104 divided by 2? 52. How many weeks are in a year? 52. So what does that mean? Hello. Happy birthday. Two years strong of doing this. So, we absolutely love y'all. Can't wait to see you next week. Episode 104. This week's secret code. Confuse the casuals.

confuse everybody else that's not as real and real as you and to get your good karma is G E S. Uh, G E S. I don't know. What does that mean? Gooey ear syndrome. It's something about syndrome. Gooey ear syndrome. Peyton has it. That's disgusting. Six years in keloids. Anyway, he still loves y'all. His hair looks crazy, but he still loves y'all. Um,

We have this tour, dates and tickets coming very, very soon. Follow us on the Instagrams and all that. All the Instagrams down below. Twitch. Wednesday. Next Wednesday. The first. No, this Wednesday. I'm so sorry. Yes, this comes out Monday.

This Wednesday, two days from now, Twitch. Look in the description below. It's going to take you to his channel. Wednesday night, am I assuming? Yeah, probably like 6 or 7. Wednesday evening, Wednesday night, the inaugural, the first one, the amazing opening Twitch session will happen. Patreon has all sorts of stuff coming to it. Go check out the Austin vlog. We talk about how amazing the Austin show was. There's a recap extended episode, and the vlog is out on Patreon right now. Go look at those.

Conspiracy episode three. Y'all absolutely love them. It is coming very, very soon and much, much more. Also, again, I'm going to say it every single week. The official Facebook is the one right here. There's like 20 of them out there. The official one is the one with that link. You're going to click that link. It only takes you to one. That's the official one. But enough of that. Guys, we love you so much. And remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time. Ka-pow! Ka-chow! Lightning McQueen. You don't smell that bad. You smell bad.

We're trying to call Molly back. Hopefully she doesn't hate us. Hopefully she knows it was Dr. P and not Peyton. I'm going to leave her voice messages in case. There you go. Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. We're going to mute this so that your number doesn't get leaked. There you go. At the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options.

Hey, it's Peyton and Cam. Cam, say hello. Hey, Molly. So we're calling you because we want to thank you for being on the podcast. It was Dr. P. He's a strange guy. We just want to say we love you and thank you for submitting. And we'll talk to you soon. Good luck with your future endeavors. You're a great person. You deserve great love. All right. We love you. Goodbye.