WE ALMOST ENDED IT ALL! -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast.

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We're like five weeks away from the first show. Tickets are available right now. They're selling like hotcakes. And we're almost sold out of every city. I'm going to tell you where we're going. Boulder, Colorado. Washington, D.C. Philadelphia. Chicago. Phoenix. Vegas. And Houston, Texas.

And we're not touring again until 2025. So if you want to see us in live form for this show that we've been touring for the past year or so, it is a fantastic show if I do say so myself. Go ahead and click that first link in the description below and get your tickets. We love you. We love you. We love you. You're the best family in the world and we appreciate you more than mucho gracias. Good morning to you. And the coffee is hot. Want to hear a toot? You'll have to...

Go to Patreon. Good morning. Now on to the rest of the episode. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. In New York, I'm Billy Rock. Hey, holler in a sock. Hey, Cam's got a rock and he hangs down the block.

And I put it in my sock. That guy. No, God. That sounds psycho. Hey, we got Coach K back in the studio. I sprained my finger on your knee. You have strong knee syndrome. I have a good leg. Anybody told you that? You got good knees? I have three great legs. I know about one of them. You don't know about the two that walk, though. Hello.

Dirty, naughty, nasty. It's my turn to make the joke. You want to? No, God, no. You think you could out-nasty me? No. You are a gross creature. I could not out-nasty you. Only when it comes to you, though. Only when it what? To me? When it comes to you. Come on. I have two of them, too. No, no, no, no. But yours are too obvious. Mine are like... Mine are subtle and sexy. Described by the heart. What were two words to describe me? Subtle and sexy. Long...

Dirty. I'm not dirty. You're dirty. What do I do? Honestly, I'm not that dirty. You're very dirty. We've had this debate. That's your phone. I'm a professional. Oh, my amazing loving sister texted me. That was your wife. No, that was the picture of my wife, which is my home screen. My sister texted me. You don't have a contact picture for your sister? No one gets contact pictures when they text your phone when it's locked. You just get the little baby. Oh, I thought there was a call because you muted it. I muted it so another text tone wouldn't come through. Maybe two words could be illogical and dumb.

That's a bit much. That's rude and inconsiderate. That was me. A little racist. No, that was not racist. Wizard Kelly.

no okay i was on tiktok live right and you said one of the words to describe me would be dirty they called me dirty on tiktok live you want to know why they called me dirty why because i was telling them how i dry off in the shower can you tell me how you dry off start from your head to your toe or just give me your full regime okay this is a this is a great this is a great topic great topic because i'm gonna i'm gonna give people a gym that they can take with them take home and use okay you this

One towel thing and you're no it's not even about that. Just how you dry your body. That's all I'm asking face first Okay, can you do the face first? So you never have to retouch it right face first and you you damp you don't you pat pat you pat? Don't want to say it's your ear to the skin. I I irritate the skin pat face get the beard So stop. Yes. Yeah, then I go to my hair. Yep. Yep. Yep Then I start shoulders shoulder make all the way down. Do I have to tell every part? I just want to know honestly, I want to know about your crotch. I

How do you do your crotch? It's pretty strange. Tell me how you dry your crotch. Oh, my God. I want to know how you dry your crotch. It's getting hot in here. It's starting to sweat. And I want you to be honest. This is my vulnerability. I'll be super vulnerable. It's a usual podcast. Shoulder, get the arm. Shoulder, get the arm. Chest, get the sides of the body. I whip that thing around like a cape, like I'm Zorro. Get the back. So now it's time for the crotch, right? Now it's time for the crotch. I do a quick mangle. Wait, so you grab your...

With a towel. Okay, so you're grabbing. I go webbing, webbing, hold Johnson. Will you dry your actual unit? Wait, so you put it on a platter and you go like that? No, no, no. I'm not sitting there rubbing it, getting it warm and ready. Because mine's never that wet. No. How are you bathing? You are a back to the water type of guy, aren't you? No, no. I'm a rotisserie chicken. I sit there and I drown. I'm just taking water right to my face. No, but I'm saying, but whenever I get out, there's never driplets coming from my unit.

It doesn't drip drop. It's very cold in there. I take cold showers. Okay, so. I don't take cold showers, but he's just shy. I see myself in the mirror. I don't want to do this, but I'm going to. Being vulnerable, after I do that, I take it. I do a couple whips. Whips? You whip your Johnson? I do a couple whips. Like that? You're waking him up? Not striking him for pleasure. I take the towel and I go. You're beating your. What?

It works. It gets the good. No, that's strange. It's a little irritated after, no? I'm really not happy that that's how you decided to start this because I'm being dead honest. I didn't know that. Liv's walked in on it a couple times. A couple whips. I'm like, mind your business. You do not see anything, but I whip it. Okay, that might be weirder than mine. Whip it. Whip it real good. I whip my hair back and forth. Oh, shout out, Willow. Shout out. She makes good songs now. What's the song she made like two years ago that went dumb viral? On TikTok? Yes, uh...

It's like an earthy song. It's like sitting outside with your friends. Can I tell you about how I dry my crotch? How do you dry your genitalia? And I got ridiculed for it, and I don't think it's appropriate. I don't think it's right. I don't think it's of God for how they treated me. Okay.

I'll let you know if they were fair on what they said. I'm not. I think I've had a stroke. I'm not going to lie. I think I'm so embarrassed that I just told the world that. You've got to change that. It's going to be a crazy episode. You've got to change that. I don't. That is a routine. No, but I do a variation of that. Less aggressive.

Okay. I don't hurt myself. I'm not whipping downward, just striking and punishing. But you whip out. You whip back. I take the towel. I flick it outward to where it gets parallel line. And you don't catch? You just let it run. I re-go under, run it, gets the sack. A couple rinse repeats. That's strange. What I do is I floss.

I'm a flosser. I'll grab one in on the front. I'm like this. I get my webbing. Webbing because I have irritated webbing syndrome. Because you floss. It's like raw meat. It's because you floss. You ever got a scab? Yeah. You ever had an open scab? You have scabs on your crotch. Okay, that sounds crazy. Oh my God. It's dirty. Dirty. See? You are a crotch scab. No, but it's a scab crotch. It's just sensitive skin. It's like exposure. Like if the wind hits it, it's going to burn.

But you need Vaseline. You need arm and hammer. Johnson and Johnson. So I go like this, and I get my webbing. I get this side of the webbing, and then I'll go right through the crack. Okay, what were you about to say before you stopped yourself? No, say it. No, I can't. You have shit stains. No, it's itchy, though. It's a little blood. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

that's too far it was okay now now we know why you have to use a different towel every time i've never i can honestly say i don't think i've ever once thoroughly dried my ass ever oh that's not good you got mud butt no oh no no you have mud towels mine's dry you have mud towels towels supposed to be dirty that's what the point is and it's not dirty i just wash my ass but you're getting in the crack do you open up in the shower have we talked about that

To wash your butt, do you grab cheek and open up and let that, you get a little water? You're like a little dolphin. I could go right out. It's like a trick. I could be in a circus. You're hitting an offense alignment. You're hitting a three-point stance. No, no, no, no. My hand's not on the ground. Oh, 100% like that's my, that's form. You have to. How do you wash your butt? I throw one leg up. I take the microfiber plastic, whatever.

But how do you wash the soap out? Water. How do you get the water in there? I turn. I just turn my back. I let the water trickle down my nice rumps. Oh, that's not good. You're not getting it in. Oh, it goes down. Oh, I'm getting clean. You have leftovers. Wait, does your asshole get scabs or does mine? Okay. I didn't say I get scabby butts. Is your webbing irritated? Yes. Is your webbing the same skin of a newborn? That's where I need to go to my dermatologist. It has nothing to do with my...

You just made me think of a terrifying image. What? Imagine the poor bastard that sees your name. We got a Peyton Harden here. Yeah, he goes, so what's wrong with your skin? You go, all right, doc. So I got it. And you just went about with it. 100%. I plan on doing it soon. I have no problem with that. If you go to a dermatologist for your crack and your webs. Yo, isn't it crazy? Like back in basketball, right? We'd have to get physicals.

Doesn't it suck that every time you drop your draws for a physical, it's the most nastiest you've ever looked down there? Bro, it's so bad. When did I get hair? It's that, and it's like, come on. And it's all smushed together. I don't want to go out sad, man. It's like, this isn't me. I literally want to tell the doctor, like, this isn't my full form. That's why I don't go to doctors anymore. This is...

I don't go to doctors or dentists because everybody's attractive now. Oh my God. When did everybody get attractive? I thought you meant you were getting Craigslist. You're getting a Craigslist physical. Oh no, I'll do that for my prostate though. Anybody can. $10. I'll give you $10. You poke around in there, see what you find. You're already getting prostates? No, so when the time comes. Oh, so another 15 years. Yeah. I'm not. Are you weird about that? Whenever your prostate exam comes? I don't want anyone in my butthole. I have no problem. Figure me out.

Tell me something about me that I don't know. Will you make conversation? Because you're on your side, right? You're on your side. That's how it happens. How do you know that? I'm a grown ass man. I don't know that. You don't know much about shit. No. How do you know that? I feel like we could pull all our friends. They could not tell. I think I'm more educated on the body than you are. You're a creep. No. What? Oh my God. I look at prostate videos. How do you know that? My dad's...

My dad's had it done. I'm closer, I guess, in that way. We talk about more like that, I guess. My dad's like, yeah, but man, put a knuckle in there. I'm on the side and felt the whole digit. I said, damn, Brian, get out of here. No, but I'm going to talk to my dog. He's going to be like, all right, just breathe in. You're going to go, all right, fine.

through the butt. I was going to make a wild joke, but this is getting explicit quick. How do we always talk about ass, poop, webbing, sphinx? Yeah, it's bad. But how was your week, Bubba? I feel like I'm about to throw up. Like, I just, I genuinely feel like I'm going to throw up. It's so hot and you're sipping a coffee. You're a sip. It's the forbidden drink too. It's the forbidden coffee. It's hot as piss in here. And I had a Red Bull before.

Oh my God. So how was your week, Bubba? What'd you do? We don't look the same. What does that mean? I don't think you're Cam. Bro, that's his third time today. He said my legs look whiter. I'm walking different. Now I don't look the same. No, your legs look like you have an illness when you got in my car. No, I have one bruise. I think that's what we were lifting. No, but you have bumps and shit that I've never seen. I guess I've never looked at your legs. That's a great PMO.

How was your week, Bubba? What did you do? My week was good. We shot Pierce's, Intern Pierce's Day in the Life. Nice. That was a hell of a day. And now, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, so Patreon members, go over to Patreon if you want to see that. Intern Pierce's Day in the Life, installment three of that. Yes, sir. We, um, what did we do? We did something crazy.

Oh, hell. Well, we went to the – I don't want to spoil it. We went to his game. That's not a spoil. Yeah, okay. So Pierce is a commentator for a minor league baseball team. We went to his game. That was fun. You're talking about one day. What did you do this week? Not much outside of that. We lifted. I watched a lot of playoff basketball. Cool. So fun. Good job. That's called a camp segment. Bro, you –

I don't know how to answer it. Bro, you get a week every week to prepare. You know I'm going to ask you every week. Now that's valid. Take some notes. That's valid. Or do more with your life. I don't know why I don't do that. That's very valid. I walked Ruby. God, you're boring. What did you do this week? I went to go see the Challengers movie with Zendaya. Zendaya, you cop-out bitch. That's what I did. You're a damn con artist. That's what I did. Oh, okay.

Oh, you're so good. I'm good at telling what I did this week? Oh, you're so good. I went to go see the Challengers movie four days before it came out. Yeah, how does that work? I guess I'm Hemington. How did you get in? Zendaya called me. She called me and said, pay to... Sorry. What'd you say back? I love you. Good man. I would like to bear children. Good man. I would love to court you. I'd love to court you. Actually, I don't. Because she has Spider-Man. I have Olivia.

No one was talking about you. That's true. I was talking about me. Batman. Cool. So she has Spider-Man and I know I'm never going to be Spider-Man. I'm not Spider-Man. I can never compete with Spider-Man. You're definitely better than Tom Holland. At what? Life. No, I'm not. He's better at literally every aspect of life. He's nicer than me? I bet he's not. More charitable? Well, he has more to be charitable. He's more money than me? Okay. He's more successful than me? Okay. You're naming specific things. I can name things you're better looking. No, I don't think so.

You need growth. You're better looking. You think so? Poll 100 women. They're picking you over Tom Holland. If they don't know Tom Holland, like if they say they put Tom Holland's face on another guy's body and somehow they're like, oh, that's not Tom Holland. They'd pick you. I think I'm the stereotypical look. You're a beautiful light-skinned werewolf with a scruffy beard. I think I'm a stereotypical face of a category of somebody's type. And I think he's the other side of that. A stereotypical look for somebody else's type. And they'd pick you. It depends on your type. That's what I'm saying. But the world's getting mixed.

The You Should Know Podcast.

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But I went to the Challengers movie. One of the best movies. This is not an ad. He was raving about that. It is one of the best movies I've seen in the last decade. Give me like a 20 second. Not a rundown. I can't. No, I'm saying why is it so good? Like, tell me about it without telling me. Cinematography. Okay. On point. Acting. Insane acting. Who else? Who's like? I don't know their names, but they're fantastic. They're not like A-list? I don't know.

I just, I personally don't know. I don't know enough to say that. But they were fantastic actors. The writing is good. The way that they webbed that story together is beautiful. Like everything has a purpose. I love a good movie like this. It's so good. And it literally, it pulled an emotion out of me. That's what the thing, like not sad or anything like that, but it just made me feel something. You love life? Yeah. And just the shots. Like I audibly said in that theater like three times, I was like, wow, that's insane. Like the shots in that movie.

What? That's weird? That's lame?

I'm a movie nerd, though. That's such a nerd thing. I'm a movie nerd. Someone's probably like, yo, shut the fuck up. No. God, the angle right there. Man, the down lighting. That's perfect. They're just like, who are you? Well, I didn't say it loud. You flip out a notebook. I used to take movies and notes. Notes and movies. I used to take notes and movies all the time. You were destined for greatness. My first YouTube channel, or my second YouTube channel I ever made was a movie review channel, but I couldn't afford to go to that many movies. And I couldn't get in a rated R movie, so my spectrum was like...

Very low. We're not skipping over that. What? You used to jot notes in movies? Yeah, I'd be like, I'd be like, act one. Slow. I'd be like, You thought you were IMDB. I'd be like, dialogue. You were Rotten Tomatoes. You wanted to be Rotten Cucumber. I made a Rotten Tomatoes account as it like, it was under an anonymous alias, but because it was like critic score and then audience score, I would always be in the comments. I was the Karen of movies for a little bit. God loves movies. Oh my God. You know what I did? What?

I made an account on Rap Genius and I went in there and I made an account on Rap Genius, went in there and highlighted bars from songs that I like and gave the explanation on the side and was just waiting to get upvoted. Were you ever right? Yeah. Did you ever get upvoted? A couple times. What songs? Do you remember? No, it was a long time. It was obviously a lot of Eminem. But you know what I think you did? What?

I think you went and Googled it before you... Oh, definitely. So it wasn't your brain that was figuring out the bar. You just wanted to be the first one to record it. I wasn't that smart. Okay, I definitely knew that. But I bring up the movie thing because I think it's very weird that people do this. And I need to know what you think about it, right? Movie etiquette? Movie etiquette. But I think it's very, very strange. I never thought about it until I went to the movies this week. Okay. I think it is very strange...

I always get nervous. When people dress up to go to the movies. Weird. You know what I mean? Weird behavior. Why you got on denim? It's not. And jewelry. It's not October. Oh. No, no, no. You mean like look good. Look good. I thought you meant like cosplay. I don't want to go to a movie theater wearing tight denim jeans and a college shirt. Oh, I second that. But I damn sure don't want to go to a movie theater and then see Bowser walking. No, I think that's cool as hell. I think that's a part of the aura of a movie.

is when people are so invested into the characters and the storyline is when they dress up.

So what would I look like if I went to watch Return of the King and I was dressed like a woodland elf? I would respect you a lot. Nope. That's the best part of going to like the Star Wars movies whenever they were coming out. The Avengers movies. The Spider-Man movies. When I went to the movies this week, they're re-releasing the Spider-Mans at theaters and a lot of people were dressed in like Spider-Man hoodies and shit. That's even worse. That's so cool. It's not even a new movie. We know exactly what's going to happen. I've done that so many times. It's about the aura. It's about the aura. You don't have aura.

I'm just a lame-ass guy. But do you think that's weird, dressing up to go to the theaters, like, dressing nice? But you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. What if they did something before? What if it was a whole date, like a whole night date? I understand that. But if they simply left their house to the theater and back, I'm in a hoodie, sweats, and slides. I want to be comfy. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm not wearing no damn...

skinny jeans, a collared tee, a belt. A belt in a movie theater is crazy. That's criminal. It's crazy. There's no shot. I unbutton my pants in a theater. I don't know why I do this at theaters. What do you do in the theaters? What do you mean? Why do you unbutton your pants? You get sexy in the Sky Lounge? No, no, no, no, no. Sky Lounge. You ever got nasty in a theater? No. Have you? My parents watch, man. I've been known to get a couple smooches off.

Why do I feel like you've done more than smooch? Oh, that's none of your business. Oh, but it's true. It's so true. Oh, my God. I went to Frozen twice. Can't tell you the plot of that one. He said, who the hell's Olaf? No, you're a...

I was in a committed relationship in high school. Oh, okay. Well, then that's good. That's fine. As an adult, no, that's wrong. I would venture to say 90% of movies I've ever seen have been with other men. 90. Yeah. Nine out of 10 films. Well, you've never had love in your life except for your wife. Except for Olivia. You got your first glimpse and you held on to it forever. I'm about to let go. I'm kidding. I love you. Oh, my God. I have to ask you. Okay. Just because I was thinking about it.

We can get off next. People that bring blankets or props, like blankets and pillows. Unacceptable. The person I was with at this movie at the Challengers brought a blanket. It was actually a YSK blanket. It had your face in it. Oh, my.

I watched the movie without consent. Oh my god, I've seen the movie. You've seen it? I know what happened. You're an animated self that's seen it. I think all that does is invite two things. Eyes to look at you and dirty things to happen. That's all that blanket does. Or warmth. It's not that cold. Oh god. Wear a hoodie. Hoodie sweats. You go to broke people movie theaters. You go to movie theaters where flies in the sticky floors. I go to movie theaters where they give you steak. You know what I mean?

Where there's literally a guy with a walkie-talkie and his assignment for the evening is me. He goes, Mr. Harden, you'll see. He has a napkin over his head. Low-key. What? Should we invest in that? In the movie theaters? Movie theaters are a dying industry. I know, but top of the line. The whole theater seats like 20. We literally bring steak and red wine. They have that. No, they don't. Yes, they do. That's one of the theaters I went to.

Look me in my eyes and tell me you've had a 10-ounce steak cooked rare. I haven't. Cooked rare is sick. That's sick. Cooked medium. I haven't. I personally haven't. I only eat popcorn during the theaters. I think it's weird to have full lasagnas. There's no shot you've been to a movie theater where the guy has a... I can tell you exactly who I was with, too. Mark Phillips. He's the first time. He took me to one of those nice movie theaters. And we watched Avatar. I immediately believe it now. Yeah. And I was like, what is this? And the bill was like $150. And I said...

Did they bring your candy in like a glass? I didn't get candy. I don't get candy, dude. I'm not a candy guy. I'm not a sweets guy. But it was like lavender popcorn. You know what I mean? Like the butter is like a little silky. I hate that shit. Give me that shit that is going to clog my arteries. Give me butter on butter. Now that I'm looking at you, I just realized something. What is it? I've never seen your bottom teeth. I've never seen. Let me see. No. Let me see the bottom of your teeth. Is there something there? Wait, open up.

You're making me gag myself. How far can you go? What? This is wild. Popsicle challenge? Finger challenge. Wait, could you hit the blue on a bomb pop? I honestly think without... I have bad gag reflex. I gag brushing my teeth. See, I can go kind of far. I know, but... But then the gag kicks in. No, I've never gag brushed my teeth. That's why I don't brush my tongue. I'll be in there...

But that's what I've noticed about you. I've never seen the bottom of your teeth. I don't know if I've seen yours either. It's a little bloody. Oh my goodness. You just look like a stingray. You look like a fish. Do that again. Oh, oh. I have nasty bottom hair. Time out. Did you say you're just a little bloody? If I push on my bottom retainer like that, we talked about this.

We talked about this like a month ago. I have a permanent retainer on one of my teeth. Can I please look over you? No, no, no. It's bloody right now. I pushed too hard. If it's bloody, I'll literally shit myself. I'll get off. I will run off the set if this is bloody. I'm trying to push the blood out. Look. Can you see the blood? I can taste it. Can you see it? No. No. Just a big white ass tongue.

Your mouth your mouth is a wonderland why are you so twisted? For how much money would it take you to offer to lick my bottom retainer for 10 minutes straight? like a like a like a dog in a bowl and

You want me to lick the inside of your mouth for 10 minutes straight? Yeah, how much money? That would honestly take at least $20,000. But, CJ, mute this, but you lose. Wait, but if that happens to you, can I get doubles? A double or nothing? That's guaranteed double.

Run it up. A mil. No. Okay. Let's see. To answer this, to keep my... To stay humble. I know my worth. Stay humble and realistic. Ten minutes straight of licking the backside of your bottom row of teeth with a retainer that it might bleed and there's a possibility of blood flow. You will bleed.

I will bleed. I need... I would need... I'd need... I'd need two million dollars. Okay. I can't. I don't have that. I would need two million dollars. But and... And whenever my mouth is open too long, I make noises. I'll go... The whole time you're doing it. So I have a... And I'll stroke your... Oh my... Enough! You need a... You need a release. You... You need a... Not me. Not me. Not me in those damn... This blood was collecting. You have a nasty... You know what? I have something that I saw. What?

I saw something on Twitter. Good morning. It's not funny, but then I researched and it became very funny very quickly. And I have to ask you. Ask me. I'm going to read a couple. There's historical last words. Famous last words. I'm going to give you a couple examples and then I have to ask you a question. Okay? Spencer Percival said, Oh God, I've been murdered. And then he died.

What a f***ing last sentence. Wait, how did he die? Oh, God. I've been murdered. Oh, could you imagine? Yeah. Bro, Winston Churchill said this right before suffering a fatal stroke. I'm bored with it all. That's what he said. That's badass. I'm bored with it all. Stroke died. That's badass. Uh...

Good God. I didn't do that on purpose.

What the f***? Okay, one more, one more. I didn't do that on purpose. One more. General John Sedwick, in a very ironic situation, these were Sedwick's last words before being shot under the eye by a Confederate sniper. Okay. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. And then he gets shot in the face. This is dark. No, dark's sick, but damn, it's...

It's not funny that these people are dying, but it's just, come on. Unless I don't know what they did. I have to know. Okay. What would be your famous last word? Okay, it depends on the scenario. Okay. Please tell me I'm around people. We'll paint two different ones. Same around family and friends. First one is very wholesome. Okay. An illness is struck. Yeah. You can't feel much pain. Yeah. God, this is more than... That's not wood at all. Straight plastic. There's no wood around us. Okay. Okay.

You're in a hospital bed. Good morning. Family and friends. I'm certainly there. I'm holding one hand. Your mom's holding the other because God knows it's going to be soon. You don't think my dad's going to be there? No, he'll be in the back. So your parents, family, friends, right? Doctor comes in. Everyone's crying. They say one last thing. They say, sir, Mr. Harden. Yeah. It's time. Okay. We're going to unplug you. Okay.

Insert you. I'm about to go, right? And then I'm like drifting off, right? I'll look up and look at everybody and I go like, wait, they're next? Wait, what? You sick bastard! I'm f***ing everybody up! Oh my god, you're taking everyone with you! Everyone's going, wait a minute! You're like, you go...

No, let him stay longer. Just fall back. Oh, my God. Everybody's going to be like, that's the best answer I've ever heard. Oh, my God. Wait, they're next? That is genius. But then it has to be theatrical. You have to say, wait, they're next? Yeah. It can't be like a slow. It has to be like, yeah, yeah. Everybody's going to be like, Peyton, what? Who? Oh, my God. You are. I'm brilliant. You're on your dying breath. You're a marketing genius. You're a wizard. You're a wizard, Harry. All right, another scenario. Okay.

You and me, we're fighting off pumas in a jungle. Okay. We basically, we've gone through about eight of them. We're very weak. Yeah. We're cornered on a big ass tree. There's, there's, we can't leave. Okay. Two pumas looking at us. We look at each other. I'm scared of pumas. So it's you and me. It's both of our last words. They remind me of my mom. It's both of our last, what? Pumas remind me of my mom. Why? It's beautiful and black. Amen. A little scared. Love your, love your, love your mom. Love your mom.

Two pumas, both sides. We're both about to croak. Both of our last words. Okay. What are you saying? Oh, wait, you're dying with me? Yeah. I already know mine. I already know mine. Damn it. Because what it was going to be if you were going to be alive, I was going to be like, Cam, I buried the money. And because you're a little hungry ass. I'd be like, no, plug him back in. Get him up. Two CCs. I need him back. I need him back. I need that money.

Okay, you and me both going to die. Two Pumas are walking. We got about five seconds. I 100% can look at you and I go, it's your fault. That's what I say to you. I go, it's your fault. I don't know why I'm in a jungle fighting Pumas, but God and God alone knows that if that is real, it's your fault. It's a me.

A scenario you've given us. Some quest. Some golden button out there that makes something. That's why we're there. That's messed up. That's rude. I'm going to leave you with anxiety. I forgive you. Leave me. We're both leaving. Let's just say I die a couple seconds before you. So you say it, but then you charge your boomer. No, no, no. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to be like...

I'm going to be like, I see the Puma charging at me. They're coming at me. Like, they're seconds away from me, and you see they're about to attack me, and the one that's coming after you is a little delayed. Okay. So you know I'm about to go first. Okay. I'm going to be like, Cam, I never told you, but me and Liv. Where is your mind at? Oh, my God. Just die with some honor.

I never told you, but me and Liv, you get taken out. I'd be like, wait, what the fuck? I get bit in the neck. You're a sick creep. Yeah, that's bad. But I want to cause turmoil. I look up last second, Liv's like, she's like in a tree. That's so funny.

This just thought I was hearing you talking to started pissing me off and one thing you say I just just randomly came up with my mind one thing that you say that absolutely irks me to my Soul is whenever we end conversations. All right, I watch you in conversations with somebody else You always say this and it pisses me off, especially when it's to me. This is hurting. I swear to God I'm being dead at all right you go. All right be safe

That shit hurts me and it makes me so mad. I take it as a threat. That's a... What? Like, who are you? What's gonna happen to me? How can you possibly take that as a threat? Why are you telling me to be safe? That's one of those... Because I want you to be safe. From what? From the world. We live in a shitty, sucky world. Just say have a good day. I don't give a shit if you have a good or bad day. I want you to be safe.

What happens in my regular day life where I'm not safe? And what is that going to do to... What if you walk to your car and you get stabbed in the liver? So what do you think happens? The power of your words. What do you think is happening out there? You think I'm going to go put on a Kevlar vest and walk around with booby traps and make a fallout shelter because you told me to be safe after brunch? Okay, I'm going to start saying...

Be, what's that word? Be, what was I saying? Wrong word. Be vigilant. Vigilant. Be vigilant. No, it's weird. Say have a good day like a human. I don't give a, I want you to live. I don't care if you have a bad day or something. I want you to get to your house. Then the good or bad days on you. You want power. I want you to be alive. You're like, I'm going to protect you. You go be safe. I'm not protecting shit. I'm not Chris Kyle. Then just say have a good day.

Which hits home more? Alright, bro. Hey, have a good day. Yeah. Alright, bro. Hey, be safe. What are you trying to do? What do you mean? That's not a threat. That's a threat, bro. That makes me think you're trying to set me up. If I went like... Okay, I'm going to Daffy's, tell you, and turn around. Okay. If I went like this...

Alright bro, be safe. You gotta turn around. Alright bro, be safe. Hey mother, I ran up on it. That's like a test. That's like I'm f***ing with you. I'm telling you to watch out. There could be car burglars. There could be crazy drivers. There could be snakes in the room. What am I supposed to do about that? Be safe. So you're telling people to be more vigilant? Yes, be vigilant. Why do you think you have the power to say that to strangers?

I know you, jackass. You're not a stranger. But the reason it came up is because whenever we... I do say it to strangers. You say it to fans. They need to understand. You're saying it to eight-year-olds, bro. What are they going to do? They got to be safe. Go hug your mom's leg. Don't look both ways before you cross the street. Be safe. Be safe. I want you to survive. What's one thing... I'm going to start saying that. Hey, bro, survival. Okay, you see me have conversations with random people, right? Yes. What's one piece of advice you'd give me? Like one thing you would give me... Stop doing this shit. When I talk to people?

I spread my legs and I dip my shoulders. Oh, my God. Okay, let's be a scenario. Every time. Give me a scenario and I'll be the other. You be me. If it's a fan. Okay, fan. Oh, my God. You're the guy from the podcast. Yeah, what's up? Hey, what's your name? Stephanie. Stephanie. Thank you so much for watching. Yes, that's awesome. I really love your podcast. Oh, you do? Okay, but do you agree with me or do you agree with Cam? Cam. Cam.

You go, all right. Okay. Now, Stephanie asked for a picture. Can I get a picture? Of course. Of course. Let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah, you can get in the middle. You hit this or you go the other way. I've never done that a day in my life. There's 200 people that could submit images in the comments if that was a thing that could be that post. I'll give you $5,000. One person could post a picture or put a picture on Instagram right now. Put a picture in the Discord of Instagram with him hitting this in your picture. With me ducking my shoulder and looking up like that. Like this.

I've never done that in my goddamn life. You must have a podcast with somebody else because I've never done that. You know what you do? This is funny. Yeah, tell me. What do I do? You do it. Okay. Is it fan? Okay. It's a fan. I want to re-answer for regular conversation, but you answer mine first. For a fan? For regular conversation. Oh, you answer mine for fan. Yeah. So like I'm you. Yeah. So come up to me. I'm a fan. Oh my God. No. No. Hey. What's up? You be trying to sing the hey. Hey. What's up?

Fucking family reunion. Yeah, and then they'll be like, hit me with an oh no way. Hit me with an oh no way. You're the fans. Say oh no way. Oh my god. That's so fucking... Hey, hey, hey!

No way. I know, right? What the? That's such an ass. I don't know what to say. I love y'all, but I don't know what to say sometimes. And then Cam says this shit every time. And y'all don't help. Cam says this shit every time we get stopped. Cam, if they go, oh my God, I can't believe y'all are talking. Cam, you guys. You know. No one believes us. The couch is sitting on the couch.

That's so, so true. Y'all are so much taller than I thought. Yeah, nobody believes us. Those couches are deceiving. We're always sitting down. It's like ingrained in my head. Who would beat who 1-on-1 in basketball? Me right now, but back at our prime. I'm a walking teleprompter. I'm a...

Wait. I have a script. And then if the fan has a friend that doesn't know us, be like, oh, it's a podcast. Oh, it's called the You Should Know Podcast. Oh, what's it about? Oh, it's just us making fun of each other. If you want to learn something...

Hey, you have scripted answers too, though. You know you do. No, no, no. I just wrote it. You and a bunch of fans experience it because you say the same thing to everybody. I like to pretend. Every fan that comes up, you know I do this. I always call out one thing about them. Their hat, their shoes, something. Yeah, that's nice. You're better to attention to detail than me. I'm looking in their soul, trying to be vulnerable with them. I know, right?

I am loud as f***, too. Bro. Oh, my God. I am dripping sweat. I'm a walking script. And there's one thing that you do whenever we're, like, in a public area. Oh, my God. And, you know, we can always tell when somebody recognizes us. Like, every time we're out. Oh, my God. We can tell if somebody recognizes us. And sometimes, like, I'm too anxious, and I don't want to really talk to people or take pictures or nothing. But if somebody comes up, we'll never say no. Yeah. So I just try to avoid it at all costs if somebody's even asking. So I'll be like, all right, Cam, head down. Just do this. Cam, it's the f***.

Hey, hey!

Oh, I can't wait until this episode comes out and somebody comes up saying, I can't believe y'all are that tall. You're not going to know what to say. Oh, my God.

No, I mean, we love the fans. We absolutely love y'all. It comes to a point where whenever we see each other talk to fans, we're like analyzing each other. We love y'all, we're just messing with each other. Don't take it too serious, brother. Don't take it too serious, brother. We love you and we love all of you and you smell great. Even though you smell great, scratch that. I got something for you. I like when you have things for me. I want you to give it to me all. This is a hand-tailored Would You Rather.

To me? For Peyton Stephen Hart. So you think about me in your off time. 100%. I love when you do that. I happened to be naked and wet when I thought of it as well. Why did you call me? No, can't tell you. Okay, good morning. Good morning. Here we go. Here we go. Would you rather...

Live in one of those pimped out vans. I'm not talking like a sprinter. I'm talking like a Volkswagen van. You got to attach it to a vehicle. Yes. No, no, no. Not like just a van. It can drive itself. You got the front seat. No one can ride with you. And everything in the back is gutted. You have cabinets. You have a little TV. I have a stove. Pimped out. You have a stove. You don't use a stove. Why would you? I don't.

But you have it. Okay. Pimped out van. You live in there. That is your residence. Fine. But you have to move at least two states over every two weeks. Huh? For a calendar year. I'm not speaking algebra here. So every two weeks I have to move to a different state? Two states over. Okay. So you can't go Texas or Oklahoma. You gotta go like Texas to...

I don't know geography like that, but keep going. Long drives. Every two weeks. Okay. You're being attacked. God, it's not your home. I smell like it, but God damn. It's still there. All right, keep going. All right. So you have to move every two weeks, two states away for a whole year. Or you have to go in the woods and you have to camp in the woods, like OG camping, for three weeks straight. And then you can go back to your normal life. What do you think the answer is going to be? I think you hate both. I think I hate...

You hate environment. The wilderness, Kim? You see me fighting this bug right now? You think I'm going to stay in the woods where I can get attacked by an antler or something? An antler? What are the things with the bugs? Antlers are the ones with the nose. That's an anteater. Anteater. An antler is the thing on a deer.

You get what I'm saying. I got to cook fire. Let me bump it down. Two weeks. You want to move. Give me two hours. I'm not staying in the woods, Cam. You don't even like driving. I love driving. It's my depressive thing. Two states away.

You like 12, you didn't drive to Colorado when we went. So every two weeks. Because I didn't have to. Every two weeks, you're having to hop in that van and drive somewhere else, park it, and you're living there. And you're massive. You're going to be crammed in this little bullet van. Completely fine. For a year. Give me one benefit of staying in the woods. Because it's like a strength thing. You bite the bullet two weeks in the woods. I have nothing to prove to myself. You're back to your glorious three-story home. You can stretch out. You can be butt-ass naked. If you're naked in that van, it's going to start to stink. How long am I in the van for? A whole week.

whole year oh I'm fine with that I'll make it I'll make do shit much rather I would hate it but I wouldn't I would be I would have panic attacks what would you do I wouldn't sleep would you know how to would you know how to camp in the woods okay

No, no, no. Give me 30 minutes. I'm like this, butt naked. Why are you always naked? That's your defense. That's my anxious tic is nudity. Okay, but I'm talking like top of the line tent. You got a nice thermos. I have to put up the tent, right? That bitch isn't getting put up, Cam. You see me trying to make an Ikea bed?

Your bar card has the handle that just can't go on. My desk over here. It's like this. Everything you have just sinks down. Everything you own. So you're going to... That's the easiest thing you've ever done. I think you are grossly underestimating that van. You are massive. You like to be able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. You like to walk outside and think. You like to go see Ruby. You're not seeing us. That's fine. You got...

Ouch. But it's much better than staying in the woods, Cam. I don't know how to make – I wouldn't live. Okay, you're making – you're pissing me off. Cam, I would see a tree. Three nights, an extended weekend, a Friday and a Sunday. One night, yes. That's it. That's the most I can survive in the wilderness. One night. I get so scared. I am terrified. What's my biggest fear? Do you have any grit? No. There you go, Steve Harvey. That's my answer. Buzz it in. Is it on the board? Yep. What are you talking about? What's my biggest fear? One of my biggest fears?

Kodiak Bears? Open land. You do hate open land. I hate open land. Okay, but you're in a nice tucked off forest. What the f*** is a nice forest? I'll make it even better. Okay. The tent's already set up. Okay. Thermos is filled. What's a thermos? Like what takes the temperature? You filled it with the red goo? Oh my god. Thermometer. Thermos. Stat.

Thermostat is air conditioning. Something you wouldn't have if you did your van. Matter of fact, I'll give you AC. It's pimped out. It's pimped out. Okay, guess what? I'm in my van. You know how many quick trips I would go to? I could shower at the truck stops. You're going to shower in a quick trip? I could shower wherever.

What quick trips have you been to? What's the... Those are trucks. Those are loves. Loves. Lowe's. Lowe's sells lumber. Shower in a Lowe's, you're going to jail. If you shower in a Lowe's or a quick trip, you're leaving in handcuffs. You're leaving incarcerated. You have... Incarcerated? Incarcerated. That's where you die. Incarcerated. I'm confused right now, so help. Bring me here. Incarcerated means you are a prisoner. You're behind bars. I...

I actually don't know what you're talking about. I don't either. Incentivated? Maybe. That's just, you're gone. You're nothing. That's a little crazy. What were you just trying to conjure? I don't know. That's why I'm asking you, phone a friend. Incarcerated. It had to be incinivated. I don't know what I was trying to say, but that was the easiest would you rather I've ever done. You have no... No. You don't just...

Grab them. You never just scream. You never just get a manly urge and just flex every muscle in your body and yell at yourself in the mirror. No, but I try to force a cry. And then I cry and I laugh at myself and I get real depressed. I'm like, that's what you look like? I would, I honestly, for your well-being, I think if you did a 72 hour... A 72 hour technology wipe.

Panic attack. It'd be the scariest 72 hours you've ever lived. I was just talking to somebody about that yesterday. But it would help you. Once we start hiring more people, I'm going to do that. So I don't have to be checking analytics and looking at stuff all the time. I'm going to. Can I please be at the first one? 100%. I'll be so much happier. Can I please be at the first one? No, your first one's going to be miserable. No, it's going to be so good. It starts on a Monday? Oh my God, I'll be great. It's going to be... It starts on a Monday. I am depresso expresso on a Monday. Every Monday, he's like... Like they don't like us anymore. Little rain clouds following you.

Oh my god, you know what we should do? Have you ever seen those things like the quietest room in the world? Oh my god, no, I don't like that. That's terrifying. Or the darkest room in the world? The darkest room in the... I start to... I hallucinate on my own. You ever hallucinate in real time? No. I was last night. You hallucinate on your own. Last night, I could have sworn there was a moose in my room. I swear to god, you're going to think I'm lying. It was for like .4 seconds, but I was like, moose. Oh my god.

He said, how'd you get here? Oh, never mind. A moose. Yeah. And you were sober. Yeah. There's the grand answer. There's the solution. You're a cop. And you lack grit. Bro, come on. Okay, let's break something down real quick. If we were dating, right, what would be our roles in the relationship? You would be... I was about to say the word.

Honestly, what do you think our roles would be? Our roles, if we were dating. I feel like I taste a burger on my tongue right now. Something isn't right. Something's going wrong in me. Something's not right. If we were dating. Hey, burger boy. Let me get my thought out. If we were dating, you would be a controlling...

Rude boyfriend. Would you cheat on me if we were dating? No, I don't cheat. I don't believe in it. I don't condone it. I hate everyone that's ever cheated on me. Okay, but me and you though. I wouldn't cheat on you. I feel like you would go and cheat on me because you were looking for something I couldn't give you. I would definitely go to a therapist.

It's because I would be so demanding on you. Yes. And then I wouldn't be loving. And you would go to someone else to look for that love. And you would cheat on me. You just said we're in a relationship. You would demand from me and not love me. No, I would love you, but I wouldn't give you comfort. Like, you couldn't tell me about your day. If you had a bad day. I'm a physical touch type of guy. Oh, that's fine.

I love physical touch. Words of affirmation? Touch me. Oh my God, that's your worst one yet. Words of affirmation. For you, yes. You are horrible at words of affirmation. If I love somebody, yes. So you don't love me. So you don't love me. No, I do. Different love. Intimate love, I'm good. What would your role be if you had to answer? Mute it. You. Mute it. You are infected. Your thoughts are warped.

Oh my god. No bullshit, I would definitely be the one cooking and cleaning. 100%, it's your job. You would have- Oh. Oh! Daddy comes home from work. We both be working. You just get to sit and crack a beer and watch some grown men in tights wrestle. Talk about WWE like that. Ignore your terminology. I would definitely cook and clean. Okay. You would have to- You'd have to be like, I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't trust you with security. You use a belt. Okay.

He's a belt of PVC pipe. I have so many blades. You have a lot of blades. Wait, time out. I was thinking about CJ, our editor, because he's going to live with me. That is true. I was thinking about him. That's nice. He came over for a little bit, right? He stayed with me for like a day or two, right? Didn't he? Yeah. Right? Yes. It happened. That is factual. I was talking to him. And normally, I talk to you all the time. I've talked to you every day for like the last six, seven years. And so when you talk, it's like... And I'm like... So it's like...

You know what I mean? But CJ, I listen to him, right? It's new voices, it's new thoughts coming at me, so it's interesting. It's always listening to- So you're born with that relationship. And so he was- No, I'm just kidding. You make me warm and wet. Sweat, wet. Sweat, wet. You make me sweat because you make me anxious. And wet. Sweat, wet. Sweat, wet. Okay, good. Sweat, wet. Okay, you were thinking about CJ. Because hearing somebody else talk to me, words are crazy. Oh my god. Words are insane. Deodorant.

What are you saying? Think about the word deodorant. Deodorant. What does that mean? Deodorant. What does it mean? Somebody named the stick of deodorant. It's the thing that you wipe on you. Why did they call it deodorant? No clue. I can tell you. Why? Because CJ was saying I need a deodorant. And I said, what is deodorant? Like, why did they call it deodorant? It deodorizes something. Deodorant! No shit! No deodorant! No shit! So that's not a good thought I had.

Whenever I had the biggest epiphany in my kitchen. D as in get rid of, as in anti. Odorant. But you never thought, don't act like you thought about that before. Deodorant. Don't act like you thought about that before. It is a deodorant. But don't act like you thought about that before.

I just have to think about it. Common knowledge. But you didn't know that you 100% then why I answer you clown because you thought about it just now. And it took all of two seconds. Yeah, but you didn't know that's why they called the deodorant. I just said that you would have had. Yes, I did. You had a better thought saying why the hell is yellow called yellow. Now that's a spooky scenario. I don't believe in colors.

I think everybody sees colors differently. Like, my yellow is your red. We all call it the same thing. That's a color theory. Popular topic. We can't open that box. Don't put my tinfoil hat on. I'll get naked. Don't lick my areola on that one. I'll put a lollipop in and scream. I'll... Like, in my mouth. And run around naked and go... No, that's... But, okay. But, like, grass...

Why do they call it grass? See, now those are things. That's insane. Deodorant's a shit example. Why do they call it grass? You deserve a laugh. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Did I just say that out loud? I did not mean that. I meant like a whoopin'. That's no. Whoopin' and... It's the relative, the other one, but it's not. Gotta stop talking. I'm so sorry.

To hell with words. You know what I thought of? And I saw this because it happened to us at the gym. Okay. And this pissed me off. Okay. And I wasn't going to tell it to you right then and there, but oh my God, it made me so mad. What happened? I think people are out here and they literally lie about their relationships. What do you mean? Not single, married, together, man, woman, man, man, woman, woman. None of that shit. Okay. Like friendships. I think people are having fake ass friendships. Why do you say that? Because a guy... We were at the gym and a guy walked up to us and goes, yo, oh...

Do you not remember this? Oh, yeah. He said, oh, my bad. I literally swore y'all were my friends from Colorado.

Are you kidding me? And he goes, didn't y'all play basketball at this and that? We played basketball, but not there. He goes, you look like so-and-so. That's a fake-ass friendship. That's not your friend. I've never been like, Peyton! Yeah, and then tried to convince myself that that was Cam or Peyton. You don't know your own friend's face? That's insane, man. You don't know his own looks? That's bullshit. Wait, speaking of fake friendships...

How quick would you recover if I broke up with you as a friend? I'd be in shambles. Wait, do you think you would have a quick recovery? No. And I think if I asked you the same question, you'd be like, give me a weekend. No. Yes. I'm good at suppressing my emotions. I would hurt, but I'm good at suppressing them. Exactly. If I broke up with you, you'd be Neiman Marcus the next day on your story. I'm living the best life. Shit's all gravy. It's all good. You wouldn't see anything from me. You wouldn't see a post for a year.

Really? You'd go dark? Bro, yes. Okay, but... Nuts. Say you broke up with me as a friend, I would be so manipulative towards you. I would... You would regret that. You would regret breaking up with me as a friend. You know why? Bubba likes revenge. Oh my God. Revenge King? No, just to you. I'm petty. Okay. If you broke up with me, oh, my Instagram story would be

You know what I would do? You'd lie. I would meet. I would call Travis. I would call Grayson, our agents. I would call any connection I had. And I would buy every Lord of the Ring memorabilia and have it in my house. And I would put it. I would take pictures of it. Oh, Cameron. Oh, Cameron. Oh, Cameron. I would go to your favorite spots. I would meet Gunna. Oh.

Oh, no. Actually, I was backstage at a Gunna concert. I told you that. You've never told me that. Yeah, I was at a Young Thug and Gunna concert. RDC took me. Did I? In Austin. So I did know you. Yeah, we were friends. So you didn't take a picture. It was in Austin. You didn't take a picture with the one and only one. Oh, I didn't meet him, but I was backstage. It was a hallway. You know how our green rooms are? There's a hallway. It's one long hallway. We were in the same hallway. Young Thug is tall. He's tall.

You're like 6'4". He's tall. Yeah, I was like damn. He smelled like so much marijuana back there. I couldn't breathe. I said Mr. Mark Phillips I have to leave I cannot breathe. I said I don't stinky stinky. I was like I was going out like it was like connected to the outside so I was like talking and I'd be like Yeah dude I like your music. You're a great artist. Oh my god. If you did that though if you did that I think I think it would aid my grieving process.

I think what really digs deep is if you just lived your normal life. If you were going out of your way. That's probably the best advice. If you were going out of your way, I would know that it affected you. Yeah. Because you're thinking about me to ruin me, which means it does hurt you. No, but I wouldn't be like, ah, look what I got. It would be subtle. Like, I would take a picture. No, that can't be subtle. No, listen. You haven't even seen Lord of the Rings, so there's nothing subtle about it. No, listen. I would take a picture, like, of my feet right here in my living room, and you just see in the right corner. You would have to be looking for it. It's like a classic memorabilia of Legolas. Yeah. Eight inches. Shh.

Sure. Just a nice... Mordor. You'd see Mordor in my house. Okay, if you had a... You know what I'd do? If you had a full life-size Mordor set... Oh my god. I'd literally break your door down and I'd come and play with you. You know what I'd do? What? I'd call Sanjan a week after and we'd go to Great Wolf Lodge.

That's like my bucket list. I got blue balled by Sanchez for about six summers in a row. I've still never been... Okay, speaking of our friends. Okay. Bro, do you remember...

The like three or four nights ago when Pierce was with us. Yes on the way back from the studio Yes, we stopped to get dinner Peyton you and Pierce buckle up, you know Pierce I love Pierce, you know Pierce can be very just ignorant to the world Pierce is very Oblivious to things oblivious perfect. We're very oblivious. Oh my god. Okay, I've never been inside a panda. Really? That's insane First of all first statement I go. Yeah. Okay you order here. We're gonna go. Oh

We order the most basic shit ever. Fried rice, orange chicken. Okay. We get to the end. Peyton, what I'm about to say, I hope, I hope to God it doesn't offend, but I'm dead ass serious. This is what Pierce says. Okay. In the Panda Express, we're getting there. We're walking down. He goes, oh, and you know, Pierce, he's loud. Loud. Loud as shit. No filter loud. Way too loud. Yeah. In Panda Express, he goes, oh, they're serving fried raccoon. They got fried raccoon right there.

I look at him, he goes, "No, seriously, look! Cream cheese filled fried raccoon!" Three times, back to back. And I literally grab his shirt and I go, "Are you shitting me right now?"

You're shitting me. What are you getting confused with? I go, read that one more time in your own little stupid head. And he goes, cream cheese fried Rangoons. Oh, Rangoons. At the same time, we look up every single employee. We're in a Panda Express. That's a, that's a, that's a H-A-R-U. Historically Asian restaurant university. It is. Every single one of them looks up like they're about to just punch Pierce. They're all like this.

Really? We got raccoon? Oh, not raccoon. He parlays that. I shit you not. He asks for a water cup. He goes, his dumb ass. I love you, Pierce. He gets soda water. Okay. He doesn't realize it. Takes this big ass gulp. Goes...

Cam, their drinks aren't good. He's four feet from the register. He is the most just rude without trying to be rude person ever. And I'm literally like, bro, throw the cup away. We're leaving right now. You know what I would have done? We can't even eat here. We're leaving right now. He goes, what did I even say? Their drinks are bad and they're serving raccoon. And I'm like...

What would I have done? Got the hell out of there. You would not have paid. Even if you paid and they didn't give you food, you would have walked out. Oh, 100%. You would have had a panic attack. And you would have been furious with people. I wouldn't have talked to them. Bro, that loud. No bullshit. That loud. What?

They got fried raccoon, you know, squinting and shit. They got fried raccoon screaming. We got to get him on an episode. Oh. We have to get him on an episode. Bro, I was in shambles. I was absolutely, like, lost. That reminds me of a story. I got pulled over by the cops at 6 a.m. going to the gym. And you were kind of there. Bro. So, we went through this state where we were on our military shit. We were trying to go to the gym early as hell every day. Yes. Yes.

Horrible. Sun was coming up. It was still dark outside, right? I was driving to the gym solo dolo, right? The roads are semi-empty. It's cold outside. One eye is cracked. I'm tired. I don't want to go to the gym. Ears dirty. So there's a light right before the gym that I have to take a left on. But if you get caught at that red light, you're there for four minutes. At least. It is the longest light I have ever been a part of. And I was already late to the gym. Cam and Ryan were riding together. They were already parked at the gym waiting for me.

I saw that light go orange. Let's take a left into the gym. What the hell did you just say? I saw that light go orange. Lights don't go orange. It's yellow. That's what they say is a yellow light, but it is an orange light. Lights are not yellow. Deadass are not yellow. I'm not even trying to be. Lights are yellow. It's literally green, yellow, red. It's green, orange, red. Swear to God. I know they teach you green, red, yellow. I know that. I've never seen a yellow light. Give me something yellow. That's yellow.

That's exactly what the light looks like. That's a little orange. That's yellow. Yellow, I think of like that basketball rim over there. Again, just because you think, the light is yellow. They teach you yellow light. They say yellow light. The light is yellow. Literally, the casing outside of the lights, that might be orange. The light is yellow. No, the casing of the light is yellow. The actual light has an orange hue. It's more orange than yellow, I swear to you. The ones by my house, I'm being dead ass. There's no way to prove this right now. So, I...

I'm telling you something. At least say yellow light. No one says it's an orange light. So the light was yellow, right? The light was yellow, and I didn't want to be even more light. There was a car in front of me that was being a little soft. They weren't being aggressive drivers, so they stopped on the yellow. And I was like, there's enough time for both of us to make it. I was tired, a little hallucinating. I didn't eat breakfast. It was 6 a.m. I didn't want to go to the gym. I was already late. Cam and Ryan were already there. Yes.

I was like, this car. I go around the car. Illegal, right? Very. Illegal. Very. But I was in a rush. I go around the car and I make the light. It was still yellow when I broke the plane. I was like, okay, bam, I made it. I passed this car. I made it. All of a sudden, it's like a disco going inside my car. And I'm like, what's happening? This cannot be. I look in my rear view mirror. I'm getting pulled over.

I haven't gotten pulled over in like five years. It is 6 a.m. Half my brain is awake. I am petrified.

anxiety strikes. As it should. I'm shaking, right? I had pre-workout in my cup holder. I was drinking a little pre-workout on the way there. Oh, you're shaking and itching. So I'm shaking, itching, and I'm sweating a little bit. And you know how I am on pre-workout? My jaw is like... And you got one eye closed. Exactly. Oh my God, he thinks you are strung out. So I park, I pull over, I park. The cop comes up to me and he goes, you didn't make it, did you? Yeah.

And I go, I look over to him, right? I'm nervous too, right? And so every time a cop pulls me over, I grab the wheel hard as shit. Like that's my nervous switch. So I'm like this at the cop. I tried. And he goes, you all right? And I was like, not really. He goes, get out of the car. And he goes, and to make it worse, he goes, are you all right, son? And I was like, I have bad anxiety. And he goes, what's with the mouth? And I go, I have too much in me.

I couldn't formulate sentences. I go, I got too much in me. And you're sitting there. I got too, I got too much in me. Oh my God. He thinks you're tweaking. And he goes, are you, did you take anything today? And I was like, just this. And he's like, what is that? And I was like, I was like, caffeine workout. And he goes, step out of the car. So I'm like, I've never been told to step out of the car.

And so I go, I kid you not. I've never been told to step out of the car. He 100% did not believe it. He said this. And so I've never been told to step out of the car when I got pulled over. Oh my God. To step out of the car. And so I didn't know what to do. I've never gotten this. I've never had this experience. This is a new experience. New experience. New level. So I say, where am I going? No, you're with him now. I was like, where am I going? And he goes, get out of the car right now. Put your hands on the hood. I get out.

I'm looking at him. I put my hands on the hood, right? And he goes, you got your license on you? And I go, yeah. I'm patting my pockets, right? I'm patting my pockets. And he goes, and I go, oh, shit, I don't have it. And he goes, what do you mean you don't have it? And I was like, do you see that black car over there? And that's where you were at. And so you're seeing me this whole time. Dude.

Did you see me? So, we didn't even, because you know, when you get in the gym and you're waiting on the other person, you're just sitting on your phone. Yeah. The craziest part is I got a text from Brayden. Yeah. Brayden goes, is that Uncle P getting pulled over? And I go, what the hell? And I look up and your hand's on the hood and I said, oh my God. And I literally, bro, that's,

It was like immediate concern, but then immediate laughter. I was like, nothing crazy is going to happen. But I was like, holy shit, that's him like 100 yards away. And so he goes, do you have your license? And I go –

oh shit and I go do you see that black car over there and I point at Cam's car and I go he actually that car has my wallet and he doesn't know our relationship I didn't say that's my friend he has no clue so I go that black car has my wallet and he goes and you know I'm looking like this too and I'm sweating he's like son I'm gonna need you to get on all fours you go what the fuck

And so he goes, what do you mean that black car has your wallet? And I was like, that's my friend. And I goes, I left it at his house yesterday and I'm meeting him at the gym today and he's going to give it to me at the gym. He goes, just give me your name and your information. He goes, do not move. And so then I started to shake a little bit. So I'm like trying not to move. He's giving me instructions. And then he goes,

you got that podcast, don't you? And I was like, mm-hmm. And he goes, you're good to go, right? And he goes, go get that license from him and don't drive like that anymore. And I go, okay. Thank God he didn't tell me to go to Cam's car to get this license because I go, Cam, bro, I just got pulled over or whatever. Can I have my license or whatever? And Cam goes in his bag and goes, oh, shit. Left it. I don't have it. So if that cop would have told me to go to that car and get my license, I would have been in jail. Is that my fault? Yeah, you told me you were going to bring it to me, so yeah.

You told me you were going to bring it. Bro, I, I, I honest to God, I wish there was like a, a 24 seven, like, like car cam. Cause when I tell you, when I looked up after seeing that text and I went,

Holy shit. I hit Ryan. We looked up and we're like, what the fuck? And I busted out laughing. Oh my God. And honestly, you handled yourself well when you got back to us. Yeah, because I knew I wasn't going to jail. Because you knew you weren't going to jail. You knew it was all behind you. And you were just like, I could tell that it was still affecting you. But you were just like, yeah, man, it's all good. Let's just go live. Let's go live. And I was like, are you crying? You know, last week we were talking about our childhood shit and traumas and stuff. And the Barney thing.

I put a picture on my Instagram story. That Barney looked like he was on crack. Cocaine. So, I don't know. I'm starting to learn more about myself each week with this podcast. I'm starting to get more like, it's like therapy for me. It's like an onion. Every layer. A week equals a layer. And I'm understanding some of my traumas. Okay. And there's a thing in me that I've never understood why it still makes me sad. Like, if I go to basketball games, football games, Disney, like anything where there's mascots around.

It will genuinely upset me as a 25-year-old man if I see a mascot take its head off. And if I see that that's like a college student or an ex-convict. A kid named Connor. It's something in me. And I want to know right now in the comments if it affects anybody else. That bothers me. Bro, that – I think – holy shit. I didn't even realize that. I think I was so – what's the word? Uncomfortable.

Damn it. So used to it. But what am I trying to say? Exposed to it? Okay. I was so exposed to it because my sister was a mascot. No, she was not. I swear to God. Heather was not a mascot. For what? She would come for the Lobos. She'd come home dressed as a wolf.

And I was like seven. I was like, oh, oh wait. I give her a hug. She was a mascot? She was coming with a wolf head on. And I was like, oh, yeah. That's insane. Speaking of sports though, I was almost a best man at a third grade tetherball wedding. What does that mean? No, we had a full blown ceremony in third grade at recess one day. There was a wedding at the tetherball pole. Hundreds of students lined up.

Walking down he almost picked me to be his best man Ryan actually was the best man Ryan was the best so why wait how did you not make the cut? Someone ordained it and everything What were your higher up? What were your teachers? Oh, I

Watching something, I don't know. But when I say it was a sea of humans, like you have to understand. So the way the playground was set up, the tetherball poles were on the outskirts. And there was a huge slab of concrete because there was two basketball goals. When I say it was like Moses split the Red Sea of people. It literally was bodies, bodies, and the longest walkway you can imagine.

And I'm not going to say the name, but the young man was courting his young woman all the way to the tetherball pool. Ryan was standing up there. That's why Ryan was so good at your wedding. He practiced. He had the tetherball wedding. Bro, there was a full-blown tetherball wedding in the third grade. How did y'all get so organized at that age? I think, bro, that's how much pool they had. It was a pair of twin brothers, and they ran. No, not that got married. Not that got married. That'd be...

That'd be a different story. A pair of twin brothers that just ran the city, ran the school. One of them was their wedding. I think it was his brother that was playing the pastor that ordained the wedding. And then Ryan was the best man. Hundreds of people clapping cheers. I don't know where some girls got flowers from. It was a full-blown wedding. That's kind of cool, though. I think she's pregnant now, and I think he's in jail. If you're that immature that fast to get...

If you're getting married at eight, I can't imagine your life at 24. I have an embarrassing recess story, too. Oh, my God. I bet you do. Oh, my God. I just. What? Say it. Say it. I can't. Okay. No, I really. I will. But if we have to, we have to. Dog. What? So we were obsessed with WWE. We were young, right? Yeah. Okay. I was also a square and super green. Didn't realize when girls chasing you meant. They liked you. No, you did not.

You didn't fight one of these girls. It wasn't a fight though. It wasn't a fight. So they're chasing me. I think I finally caught on. I was like, oh, that's like cat and mouse. She likes when I turn around and make weird faces and run back after her. But you got to understand, the girls are like chasing you. And then when I would get annoyed, I would turn around, roll the eyes to the back of my head like I was Undertaker. And I'd go, and I'd go, and scream. But then one day, one day I caught her.

Oh, we were young. You have to understand. We were young kids that knew no better. She asked me, why do you do that thing with your eye? I can't do that anymore, by the way. I used to be able to do the Undertaker eye. She said, why do you do that? That's scary. And I said, because I love wrestling. She goes, what do you love about wrestling? I said, the master lock. You didn't do that to her. I said, no, you didn't. She said, oh, wrestling. What do you love about wrestling? I said, the master. And then I went, you belong in jail. Oh.

I just thought of that. That's it. Oh my God. Oh my. Dude, our recesses were so different. Oh my God. We also used the monkey bars as a rim and we were pretending like it was the NBA dunk contest. And Ryan was the coolest kid in the school because he was the only one that could do a Statue of Liberty. Oh my God. See, you were putting girls in headlocks at recess. You know what I was doing?

No. Well, that. But it was the second grade or third grade or something like that. It was the time that High School Musical was dropping their sing-along and dance-along version. So at commercial breaks, they would teach you the dance moves and choreography before the next scene. And so we all, I think I was the only guy that was watching it or openly watching it.

And all the girls were really in a high school musical. You're smart from a young age. No, I just really liked it. The girls, I just liked the songs. And so it was high school musical one. They were doing the dance-along version. And so I remember the day after at school, all the girls were getting on the four-square dance.

four square field in the concrete and they were doing what they learned and no one worked harder than me and I was watching these bitches and I was like, y'all weak as fuck. He said, watch out. And so what I did was they were doing all this together and they were doing that and I was like, man, they don't know the choreography like me. They didn't have the beat, right? And so I got at the top and I was like,

I didn't realize how lame that was. And I was like, that's not cool. So you were putting girls in headlights. I was one up in my choreography. You were leading the cheerleading team in our choreography. You said, Brittany, get it tight and ready, girl. Come on. We're all in this together. No, I definitely coached. I was like, no, it's one, two, one. No. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, shit.

I was at a gas station the other day and I stole. I didn't mean to. Dude, something has been wrong with my brain recently. I swear to God. You need a technological wipe. You need to get clean. I went into the gas station. It was before the gym. Everything happens before the gym. And so I was going to the gas station. I needed a yellow Red Bull. It's my favorite Red Bull.

So I went to the gas station, and I don't know what my brain was on, but I was in autopilot going in. I don't remember walking in. I just remember leaving, and I said, I did wrong. I walked into the gas station. It's the same routine. I think that's why. It's the same routine every morning. I walk into the gas station, yellow Red Bull, take it to the counter, no eye contact because I don't want to talk, pay, leave. I don't know what happened, but I grabbed the yellow Red Bull, and I just put it in my pocket. I swear to God.

And I walked out. And I didn't realize it until I was looking for the Red Bull to drink it on the way to the gym. And I couldn't find it. And my right thigh was colder than a bitch. You're just sitting there. Did you at least have like a realization? No, my heart dropped. I'm never going back in there because I feel like there's going to be FBI and SWAT. At least you're a good man. You're a good man at heart. Speaking of pocket placement stuff, right? Nothing to do with what we were talking about. Nothing to do with that. Pocket placement.

I think we talked about this on the early episodes. Okay. But I'm starting to learn that more people are like you than like me. Where do you put your phone, your wallet, and your keys in your pockets? Every single time, the same answer no matter what I'm wearing. What is it? Left pocket is what? Wallet and keys. It's so fucking weird to me. That is so strange. It's because you're left-handed. No, it's not. Yes, it is. That has nothing to do with left or right hand. Yes, it does. How? Because your left hand is your primary hand you hold your phone. No, it's not.

I don't one-hand my phone, ever. I have two hands always on my phone. So it has nothing to do with that. Well, now you're just a goblin. No, it's just weird that that's just uncomfortable. Phone and... Why are your keys... So you're right-hand dominant, right? Yes. And whenever you take out your wallet to pay for something, you would have to transfer it over. No. So you pay with your left hand? No. You take the wallet out, you open it, and you grab the card with your right. The wallet's a two-hand job regardless. Well, what about your keys? Keys? I take it out, click it right there.

Simple action. Okay, but before you had pressed the start, in your keys, you'd have to go like this and put them over there. Why not just have it already in your right side? Right axis. Because that's my phone. If I get a call, immediately, bang. If I get a text, immediately, it's a read. No, it's a...

Okay, but are we in agreement? My logic is more sound than yours. Phone is definitely going to be used more than keys. I think you have more of an argument with the front pockets. A lot of people put their wallet in their back pocket. I like that too. I like a good back pocket wallet. No, you have to be a cowboy. That's cowboy restriction. No, no, no. Why? You've never back pocketed. It's like an ass. I don't want anything on my ass.

I don't like it sitting back. My ass is too big to put them in jeans. I swear to you, I'm not even being weird. My ass is too big. It's weird, bro. I'm telling you. No, I've never been a firm back pocket believer, but I've done it a couple times. But as soon as you sit down, it just kills the vibe. That's what I'm saying. You got to move it. A back pocket wallet guy is someone that literally carries a knife up front or something. Oh, I do. There's no need.

My two pockets can hold my keys, my wallet, my phone. You know what I've been doing recently? Putting everything in one pocket. I want freedom on at least one leg. I want freedom on one leg. Why? Freedom. For what? How do you utilize that freedom? Movement. What are you doing? Well, I'm just saying when you're walking, right, and you'll feel two things moving like that. If you're using both pockets, you'll feel it go swinging and now you're getting collided and sometimes it will sandwich your sack. And I don't want to sandwich my sack.

The only way it could possibly sandwich your sack if you're over here walking. You're like... I'm a strideful guy. Bro, you have loose shorts syndrome if you're doing that. You think so? If your shit's going... I just have deep pockets. Deep pockets. Gotta be rolling. Gotta be rolling. No, I'm 100%. Mine definitely makes more sense. No doubt about it. No, I...

I don't understand how people think it's weird. Like, I feel so uncomfortable if my phone were to be in my right pocket. Grab your... We're going to test that. Put your phone down. Okay. Oh, you... Oh, my God. I just saw you think about what you're going to do. I saw you have a thought. I don't know what you're about to ask me to do. I genuinely don't. Your phone's ringing. Pick it up. Bring, bring. Bring, bring. Hello? You just committed sin! What? The same thing you just complained about, you did. You picked up with the right transfer to the left. Because it was already on my right. You placed it there.

There's nowhere to put it over here. If it was in your pocket, you would have had to do that. That's why it's never in my right pocket. That's my point because you're left-handed. But I don't answer phone calls. But whenever I'm like this. Yes, you do. So say I'm out in public. I'm never like this. I never open the phones in my left pocket. I don't ever take it out and go like this. I don't do that. I'm always like this. You don't have a strong wrist? Are you afraid of one hand? You know I have wrist syndrome. But are you afraid of one hand? Like a droppage? No, it's just not comfortable for me. I do everything with two hands. Do you pee with two hands? Do you hold two hands?

Some of us don't have that luxury. Good morning to you.

You know what I've learned about myself recently? When I pee in public, I scratch my tummy and pee. I'm like this. Oh my God. It's strange. That is toddler-rated. I touch my nipples a little bit. Not even trying to be weird. I don't twist a chin. I just spit. I just spit every time. Yeah, you're a spitter. Every time. You spit too. I've heard you spit. When I'm drunk. Like at a club, yeah. You'll be like... But not just regular. I don't have that much... I don't have gooey mouth syndrome. I think I do. I don't know what it is. You have good wet mouth. I spit the...

You have a good wet mouth. My spit the other day, it was white.

If you know what that means, tell me. I don't know if that's like dehydration or what, but I literally spat and it was white. Okay. All right, you know what? You think you're on this mountain high top of confidence because you've won a couple debates, right? A lot of people are starting to understand my brain, and I like it. It's time to bring it back to reality. Okay. We're going to just throw some trivia questions. And not niche trivia, just random things. General knowledge? General knowledge. I have great general knowledge. Okay. Okay.

Okay, if I win this you have to publicly say on the internet that I'm smarter than you Regardless if you think it's true you have to say it if I get all these right deal deal Let's do it. How many bones do shark have which one? How many bones do shark have which one? See point Payton next question. How many bones do sharks have? How many bones do sharks have? Okay

I'm going to lead to the answer. Okay. How many bones do humans have? What? Wait, on the first question, you're going to question the questioner? That's how I learned. I don't know, like a couple hundred? We have a couple hundred. H2, this is general knowledge. This is. I'm not a marine... Damn it. Point pain! Point pain! I'm not a marine. I'm not a marine biologist. How many bones do they have? 344. Zero. They have zero. You can't snap them back? No, they're just...

They're just goo. I would... They don't have skulls. Sharks don't have skulls? They have zero bones. I don't know if that's true. They have zero bones. That's not general. That doesn't count. Next question. Yes, it does. Okay, zero. That doesn't count in the long term. What's the deadliest animal in the world? Hippo. A mosquito. O for two. That's not an animal. Yes, it is. That's an insect. Which is an animal. We've already done... O for two. Wait, no, no, no. Let me... No, you're good. No, stop. Let me explain how that's an animal. Deadass, I'm learning. Animal...

Insects, amphibians, fish, sea creatures. You're like, I can't. That's a hill you're going to die on. You're going to die wrong. You're 0 for 2. These are not general. These are not general. What year was the first iPhone released? 2007. Here you go. Yeah! Sit your happy ass down. That's general knowledge. Which two countries have the longest shared international border? China, the Great Wall. Yeah! No. America and Canada.

Longest shared international border. No. Yes. How big is Russia? Oh, no. What's the biggest continent? What? What's the biggest continent? Just answer. Asia. Russia.

Oh my God almighty. No, because... Russia's not a continent. Country. Because you said which country. Which countries. Okay, yeah. Okay, what's the biggest... China doesn't stretch as far as Russia. Exactly. So what's the biggest country in the world? China. Russia. Russia. Russia. So that would be the longest border. Shared international border. That's a shared border. They all have the same border. They share it with different ones. Which two have the longest...

General, you're a bad teacher, that's why you got fired. Keep going. I did not get fired. Yeah, you did. Okay. At a restaurant, if you were to order deer meat, what would you see the name under the menu? It's not general, bro, these suck. These honestly suck. Find a new website. Answer. Please say deer. What's another word for deer? Come on, you got this one, think. It starts with an A. No. No.

think hive meat jerky hive is beautiful these suck no these are not general you said general and you have the highest grossing broadway show of all time hamilton the lion king your answers are so quick okay no if these sucked don't answer with that much confidence okay because i have to because we're on a podcast oh my god ask me general knowledge these are niches i'll

These are general- No, deadass, go to a different one. Go to general knowledge. These literally say general knowledge. Okay, well we've come to the agreement that this is not general. That is not general. I'll give you a free point. What was the legal birth name of the boxing legend Muhammad Ali? You don't know Muhammad Ali's name. Who am I? An American! You don't know Muhammad Ali's name. No, I thought his name was Muhammad Ali! Was that his rat name? It was his alias. It was his alias.

What? His name is not Muhammad Ali. You knew this? I'm a good teacher. Yes, everyone knows this. What's his real name? Cassius Clay. I thought those were two feet different people. You thought he was training with Cassius Clay? I didn't know they even knew each other. What's Kareem's name? Abdul Jabbar. Luau Sender. Are you shitting me right now? I swear to God, you're learning me something. Okay, Cam. Holy shit. Listen to this. Listen to me. Do things that the general public will know.

What's the shortcut for the paste function on most computers? Control C, Control V. Command C, Command V. I just said paste! Oh, Command V! There you go, see? That's general. Yes, general. There we go. Keep going. What's the capital of Iowa? That doesn't even f***ing exist. Like, no one knows that shit. Unless you're from Iowa, you don't know. That's bullshit. Hey, sorry, Iowans, all 43 of ya. No one knows!

How many countries are in the continent of North America? Huh? How many countries are in the continent of North America? Three. Canada, US, Mexico. Ding, ding, ding, bitch. And now you're asking me about Cassius Clay and Muhammad and deer jerky. What the f- Like, ask me something that's something I know. You're wrong. You're wrong, first off. No, I'm not. You're wrong almost by a multiplier of eight. There's 23 countries in North America. You're talking about where we live.

America. Dog, I'm not going to lie. I might be dumb as shit, but I'm not stupid. There's 23. Where are they at? The North American continent. You count them like Alaskan shit? Alaskan's a state, not a country. Okay, that's what I'm saying. There's 23 countries in North America. Start from the top. Canada. Canada. Next. Us. US. Next. Mexico. Next. That's it. No, it's not. That's South America down there. Before South is what? The ocean. The ocean.

Oh, I almost struck you. Are you talking about islands that count themselves as like countries? Count themselves like they're the kid that gets picked on. They are a country. No, but Cuba, Panama, Nicaragua. Careful. Cuba's in South America, no? No. Oh, wow. You're learning me something. You're like 0 for 6, Bubba. Okay, f*** me. Here we go. Keep going. How many wives did Henry VIII have? As many as you want. I don't know. I said that on purpose. All right. Which U.S. president is featured on the $2 bill?

Larry Jack, not Larry Jackson, Andrew Jackson. Andrew Jackson. No. There's a $2 bill? That's Harriet, right? Didn't we do a thing during 2020? We were trying to get Harriet on that, John? Thomas Jefferson. That doesn't count. That's not a real bill anymore. What phase does the moon enter into after it's full? You know how I feel about the moon. Full moon. A waxing gibbous. You're just bullying me. I'm not. These are shit questions, Cam. Okay. Where on the food pyramid does an eggplant belong?

You don't know the fruit period? Were you awake in school at any point? I thought there was an animal kingdom period. A lion's- An animal kingdom period? Yeah, like insects are at the bottom, lions are at the top. So there's the same thing with food? Vegetables. Vegetables? Is that your answer? Eggplant. Wait, eggplant. Egg, vegetable. Wrong. Fruit. I'm so sorry. Dude, this is not entertaining or fun. What country has the highest number of citizens over the age of 65? Oh, wait. No.

India's the most populated though, no? I got it okay. Sorry. The only questions you're getting right are self-asked. What country has the highest number of populations of citizens over the age 65? I feel like there's a lot of old f***s in like, like New England. No!

is America. I mean like new what's the England the original England. Netherlands like over there. Everybody's old and got the scarves and has baskets and fruit and shit. Like grass. What movies do you watch? The answer is Japan. What U.S. Okay. Okay. This is up your alley. What U.S.A. What no. This one. What U.S. fast food chain is credited for introducing the first drive-thru window to the masses? McDonald's probably.

Wait, I'm trying to think of popular that were old. Name off four and I'll pick one. There's one close to your house. There's one close to your house. I was like 250 restaurants next to my house. But fast food, been around for a while. I'll give you this. It's a West Coast. In-N-Out. Yes, In-N-Out burger. Didn't In-N-Out just get invented? It just came down here. It's been there for a minute. Wow, good morning. What temperature does water boil at?

Celsius or Fahrenheit? I'll take either at this point. I'll take what you can give me. 180.

But where the f*** do y'all know this shit from? That is dead ass like fourth grade. That is literally early as shit. I was learning cursive in fourth grade. And you learn how to boil water. I don't know how to read cursive. 180 is incorrect. Do you want another guess? 220. You're close. 250. No. 300. No. 320. You're going the wrong way. Four. You're going the wrong way, Bourne. What? 300. No. 280. No. 270. No. 60. 212. 212. So specific. 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

You said 180. Okay. What is celebrated on February 2nd and is also... Black History Month. What'd you do for this February, huh? Whose hand did you shake? What is celebrated on February 2nd and is also the name of a movie? Independence Day. Wrong. President's Day. Wrong. Valentine's Day. Wrong. You go, I have a dream? Groundhog Day. Oh. I have a theory about Groundhog Day. Is that the same groundhog every year? I don't know. Does he have a top hat? No.

Why do we do that? Because apparently they know. Like the elephant's sensing two miles away. We're just bored, aren't we? No, we use our resources. As a country. We're resourceful. Animals know things we can't comprehend. I have a thing about holidays. It's apparently if he comes out or goes in, it's something like six more weeks of rain. How accurate is he? He's pretty. Is he shooting above 500? He's shooting above 500. 100%. A thing about holidays? Okay, give me that. I'm going to ask you. I want to see who gets more right. Since you want to play this game. You've literally got none. Here we go.

Okay. What is the smallest planet in our solar system? Mercury. You dog. You're no fun, and that's why you had no friends growing up. Here we go. I hate you. What's the capital of India? New Delhi. What the? Dude, that ass you're pissing me off. Bro, that's something I learned as well. Where? In school. The place that you didn't go to, apparently. You were in Gifted and Talented. I wasn't. I made a whole project over the Oklahoma City bombing in the fourth grade.

And I memorized it. I got extra credit for memorization. You probably have something to do with it. Here you go.

What element does the chemical symbol AU stand for? Gold. Dude, I'm going to hit you in the goddamn mouth. No, because that ass, I thought you were just asking stupid shit like no one gets. You're starting to piss me off. You're under, it's like making you feel worse about yourself. I'm so insecure right now. My shit is one inch right now. Here we go. Let's try to get him inverted. Oh, I can get you a gasle right now. Let's see. What two states in the U.S. share the most borders with other states?

That's hard. I want to say one's got to be like Tennessee because it's like. Is that right? I'm going to hit you in the mouth. Don't even answer the second one. I don't want to hear your answer. But you got to think it's around the Carolinas. I don't know where Tennessee is. No one knows where Tennessee is at. Give me a blank map and tell me the point of where Tennessee is. I have no goddamn clue. I really am not trying to make you feel bad. You're making me so insecure right now.

What is the human body's largest organ? Skin. No, there's no way you read this before. You came prepared and you read this whole goddamn thing before. If you're telling me you never had those debates as a kid. I didn't even know skin was an organ. I'm thinking about the shit in my tummy that makes me poop. Skin, the biggest organ. That's why things are topical. I don't know what that even means, topical. We need to stop before you really get depressed. No, I'm going to get you to get one wrong. No, I'm already depressed.

I'm not coming out of my room for four days after this, you son of a bitch. I'm shaking, dog. I'm dead ass shaking. Look at my hand. He's not a joke. All right. I might just answer it wrong. No, no. I want you to do this for real. In Greek mythology, who is known as the messenger of the gods? Oh, that's... That's war. That's... Hermes. Hermes. Right again.

No, I'm gonna get you to get one wrong, bro. You're- I just broke the couch. Good, I'm gonna break your neck. Hermes, yeah. He's the little guy. I heard you! I heard you, you got it right! You look strong. No, because I had so much confidence this year because I was doing so well in all the debates. And everybody in the comments was finally getting on my side. Shut up and talk. You're crying. Oh my god. Okay. Let's see here. Six for six, by the way. Okay, here we go. What is the longest running American animated TV show? No way, because you don't know shit about things that matter. You know about Hermes and plants.

In geography in Tennessee. Okay. Like cartoon? Yeah. That's what's saying by animated? Longest running cartoon. Longest one? Cartoon. American. Bro, low key? No way. Okay. TV show. I have it down to the...

Okay, I might get this one wrong, but it's an honest guess, though. Because that shit goes back a long time. Simpsons? Is it Simpsons? Hey, bro. Are you deadass? You're not f***ing me? I swear to God you got it right. It's a Simpsons? Because the Simpsons has been around since before we were even born. It's been around almost 30 years. We're done with the game. I'm sorry. No, bro. You're slowly becoming more naked. You took your shoes and hat off.

You have to just think. I was thinking every goddamn time, Cam. No one taught me this. No one taught me about Tennessee, Cam. But that, you have to think about Tennessee. My mom always did say I had a lot of useless knowledge. Yo, this is what you did. You know what I did when I went home from school? Played with my friends. You know what you did? Did flashcards. My sister, for six Christmases straight, bought me a Guinness World Record book.

And I read them in car rides. I had those too, but I looked at the picture, Scam, with the piercings in his tongue. I read. I read that Idaho produces the most potatoes. Dude, shut up. Okay, here we go. God, this is bad. It's making my head even bigger. Both heads. Hello. You're rocking one. I'm at, like, well. Which country is both an island and a continent? I'll show you.

Bitch. That one's easy. That's easy as shit. How's that an island? Island means mass surrounded completely by water. So first off, when I hear... I'll walk you through what I do. So is it Cuba?

But it's not a continent. That's what I'm saying. My thought process, you said country. What is a continent? You said a country and a continent. It immediately barrels it down to seven things. I'm going to ask you about black people. There's only seven continents, and only one has one main country. Okay, this is a lot of people get this wrong. What American state is largest by area? Alaska.

Bitch. I always said Texas. No! Um, uh, which- I'm just gonna read like the next one and see. What is the most consumed beverage in the world that is not water? I'd say either coffee or tea. BITCH! It makes sense! It makes sense! You're getting naked! What's your phone password? What's your phone password? I'll put it in- What's your phone password? There. Here. Here. Shut up and talk. What is the- What is the only vegetable that is also classified as a flower?

Ooh. That might be it. The only vegetable that's also classified as a flower. Oh, shit. I don't even know where to start. Do what you did to me. Give me four, and I'll pick from there. Because I have no clue. Not a big veggie guy. I don't know what vegetables are. Carrots. It's not a flower. Broccoli. And green beans. I was thinking green bean from the jump. I'm going to go broccoli. What is it, bro? Stop talking.

Stop talking. I'm breaking this count. Stop talking. This episode's going to be four hours long. I don't care. I'm not. What element are human beings predominantly... I don't even know how to read the questions anymore. What element are human beings predominantly composed of? Water. Carbon. Oh, what element? Okay. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Put your clothes on. I'm going to get demonetized.

Okay, honestly, I'm sorry. I really am though. I am smarter than you. No, no, you know about the world, right? Cool. And that's not going to help you. Give me like fun trivia and I would be able to beat you.

You don't want to do this again. Fun trivia. Just one. Let's do five questions. Five. Five and we're done. Five and we're done. Fun trivia. All right. Okay. Five questions each. Fun trivia. And let's see who wins. I'll put my clothes back on. All right. Fun trivia. Here we go. All right. So this is how I'm going to redeem myself. And if we get this, if I win this one, I'm actually pop culture. If I win this, I'm smarter than you.

Okay. Oh, never mind. That was in the 80s. If I win this, we're equally as smart, actually. I wouldn't agree, but for you, so you don't... I'll agree. I'm sorry. I love you. Here we go. Let's do three questions. These are easy as hell. Three questions each. These are easy as hell. Make them easy for me. First question. The widely watched defamation trial of what celebrity couple aired on television from April to June of 2022? What the... Wait, say it again and slow down.

That was normal reading. Dude, for who? Sonic the Hedgehog? The widely watched defamation trial of what celebrity couple aired on television from April... Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. Correct. Ding, ding, ding. Yep. One against you. Okay. Okay, two more. Like, these are easy as hell. Well, maybe for me. What team took home the Vince Lombardi trophy in 2021 Super Bowl?

Kansas City Chiefs. No. Tom Brady. Yep. That's what I said. That's what I said. No, you're one for two. Tom Brady. One more question. In 2023, what purple ice cream drink gained notoriety on social media? The one from McDonald's. The Grimace drink. The Grimace shake. Shake. I won. Two and one. Okay, so if you get these wrong, we're equally as smart. That's what everybody's going to say in the comments. That's not true. Stop it. Who holds the record for the most Grammy Awards for Album of the Year?

Shit. Easy. I don't know. Guess. Most ever? Say it with confidence, too. I don't know. Say it. Most ever. Taylor Swift. Is that right? Okay. One. There we go. Because you're a Swifty, and I get it. I'm not a Swifty. Be careful. Don't come attack me. What morning TV show recently had a scandal because two of its anchors were having an extramarital relationship with each other? I don't know what that word means. It's too big.

Read again. Which morning TV show recently had a scandal because two of its anchors were having an extramarital... What morning TV show recently had a scandal because two of its anchors were having an extramarital relationship with each other? The morning show. It's not a real show. That's a TV show. Yeah, that's what I was asking. It's not that. No, like a real show. Like a real life. Yeah. I don't know. Uh...

I don't even know the names of morning shows. I'll take the L. No, you gotta guess. I literally can't even. Just think of a morning show you watch. I don't watch them. That's what I'm saying. I can't even conjure that. The morning show. That was my, it's horrible. Good Morning America. Was that really the answer? You're whimpering. All right. Last one. Who is the most followed person on Instagram? Cristiano Ronaldo. All right, bro. Was that right? No, bro. Yeah, I don't even know. Maybe I am dumb.

Hey, and honestly, as my friend, for you to do that, that's not right. Honestly. I told you I didn't want to do it. It's like you lost $10,000 and you went and took $10,000 more out to try to win it back. I told you let's not do it. Hey, if I'm not here next week on the podcast, bro. Hey, everybody round of applause for Flashcard Cam. I didn't have a childhood, but I read the shit out of some flashcards. He's a load of that guy.

What was the first YouTube video ever made? Uploaded? I don't know. It's me at the zoo or some shit like that. See, I win and I'm smart too. Guys, thank you so much for coming. You are smart. Dude, come to tour if I'm even there. He'll be there. Get us in the house. Thank you so much for coming back to episode 110. Unbelievable. He is literally scratching his thumb right now. No, because that's bullshit. Because I had so much confidence this year because I was doing so well. All right, guys. Hey. I'm going to put nails in your cereal. What?

I'm going to put nails in your cereal. Another psychotic episode. Everything you need to know, including, most importantly, the summer tour tickets are linked in the description below. Everything else is there. Discord, Patreon, Twitch, Facebook. Everything is linked in the description below. We absolutely love y'all. Confuse casuals and get your good karma with this week's secret code, PIS. Peyton is smart. Yeah, I know I am. Peyton is smart. And don't patronize me like that. I'm not patronizing you. You don't mean that. I'm trying to pick you up. Yes, I do. I think you're very smart. Mm-hmm.

Then what? I don't want to kiss, but you're very smart. Okay, but to make me feel... You know I'm sad. Yes, yes. Put it in the comments. Confusion casuals. You know I'm sad right now. And as a friend, why wouldn't you kiss me in the mouth? Hold your hand out. In the mouth? Like on the tongue. Hold your hand out. You get this or nothing. If I flip my cheek open... You get this or nothing. You can't do that. And you get this or nothing. You kiss my hand? Yeah. Really? Yes. To make me feel better?

All right, guys. We absolutely love y'all. P-I-S. Leave it on Instagram, TikTok, the full link everywhere. You can find it. Leave it in Patreon. We absolutely love y'all. You know what I want y'all to do is collect these questions we did and then test your friends and then bring back the answers and tag me in it only if somebody gets less answers right than me. And if not, we're not a tickle of it. I can't even catch my question. God.

One-eyed tickle lovers, don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time. Come to tour if you want. I understand if you don't want to see me. I don't even want to look in the mirror. I'm breaking every mirror in my goddamn house. I love you. Wait, what'd you say? No, I know he's smart, too. He's a great guy. Goodbye.