SURPRISING MY BEST FRIEND WITH A ROLEX! -You Should Know Podcast-
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The You Should Know Podcast. Ho, ho, ho it! Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, the Christmas episode 92 round of applause. Please. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Uchino Podcast, episode 92. Merry, Merry Christmas to all of you. Thank you for sharing your Christmas with the Uchino Podcast. We love you so much. But if you're new here, if you haven't already, please hit the subscribe button. Is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section is unfulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. Oh, does the Uchino Podcast have a Christmas gift for you?

I'm about to announce our next two live shows. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready? February 17th, we're doing a show in Tampa, Florida! Yes, yes, yes. It's gonna be at the Capitol Theater in Clearwater and those tickets are available right now. The link is in the description below. Hey, I have a lisp, right? And now that there's fur on my tongue, it's gonna be 10 times worse. You know what I mean? We have another live show to announce. This one means a lot.

to Santa Peta. It means a lot to me. You know why? I'm coming home to Austin, Texas March 1st! Okay, that's right. Alright, February 17th, the day after my birthday, the whole gang's going to Tampa, Florida, the Capitol Theater in Clearwater. The tickets are available right now. Let's have a big birthday bash together. It's our first time out there. We've been seeing the comments for about a year now. Come to Tampa, come to Tampa, we're coming to Tampa. February 17th. And then,

It's been a dream of mine to perform in front of my hometown with all my hometown friends, family, the whole You Should Know gang is going to be able to go. It's going to be a very, very, very special show, a show unlike the rest. And if you want to see me cry, that will be the show where the wet works will water. You know what I mean? Tell your grandma I said hello. That is going to be March 1st. Those tickets are not available yet.

But be sure to follow us on Instagram at PSHA, at CamKennedy22, and at YouShouldKnowPodcast to get those updates. The Koala Club has known about this since last week, and that is the benefit of being in the Patreon. So if you want to join the Patreon and get early access to stuff, that link is in the description below. This is going to be a very, very, very special Christmas episode. And now on to the rest of the episode. The YouShouldKnowPodcast.

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Free shipping at manscaped.com using our code PSH. Happy New Year to your balls. And now on to the rest of the episode. Honey, there's too many cookies. Can you bring me some milk? Of course, sweetheart. Come here, baby girl. Oh, my. You said you needed milk? Your knees are so good. I love North Pole.

Thank you. You got that milk behind you, if you know what I mean. We got co-host Gap in the studio. Mrs. Claus, you look like a glass of milk on this fine Christmas morning. How are you doing today? Hello, you can see me. Christmas is great. Loving it. It's very cold. We just started, though. It's all right. You look so good.

Thanks, Papa. I like Santa. We're going to have a good Christmas together. You know what I mean? You're going to make my Christmas warm. You're going to snuggle me under that mistletoe. Good morning. Oh, you actually have a mistletoe on your forehead. Yeah, it's beautiful, is it not? Oh! No? We're not in the North Pole, honey. Okay. Oh! We should have brought Ruby. She could have been Rudolph. We put the nose on her. Aw. We could have been a whole Christmas family. Then she would have seized and her large ribcage would have been...

It wouldn't have been a good look. I'm so happy we're able to be here for another year, for another Christmas episode. I love you so much. I love you too. I love you so much. Daddy, Santa, Daddy. Okay, now, your outfit. Yeah. Let's break this down a little bit. Let's talk through this. You are Mrs. Claus. I am a bad bitch. You are. In every way, shape, or form. And I want to say this, alright? So, I went out to get these Christmas outfits for the whole gang.

I said, Cam, I'll be Santa. You can be Santa. We'll just both be Santa. Cam goes, no, no, no. I want to be Mrs. Claus and make sure you get me something that my rectum is nice and tight and firm. Did you not say that in front of everybody and on Jesus' birthday lie? Okay. I said I want to be Mrs. Claus. I was thinking more of a promiscuous one, something that has a little paprika. I didn't want to be an 80-year-old granny that's sitting there making oatmeal in a pot. You gave me the most, excuse me.

Excuse me. You gave me the most basic damn

I mean, I'm still gorgeous. She's still gorgeous. I'm not going to lie to you, Cam. We went to pee right before this, as we do. We have a pee-pee ritual. We hold each other's swords right across the urinals. He touches the cheek if I'm having a hard time starting up the motor. You know what I mean? Do you ever have that hard time when you're peeing where it feels like there's a cinder block right on the tip of your pee-pee? No. And you've got to stretch that abdominal muscle. Medication is what is needed in your extremely near future.

No, but it doesn't hurt. Oh, no, but you still need medicine. But if I pull my pants down, even if I'm not by a toilet, urine will start to come out of me. Wait, really? Yeah. You have loose pee pee syndrome. Oh, no, I just can control my urine. And if I need to pee, I... You've never wet the bed? Hello, when I was younger. When's the last time you wet the bed? I wet the bed so bad one time. My parents had to go rent a shop vac. What's a shop vac? Is that what you do to the heart?

What? Shop bag. Is that where you... Clear! No, a shop bag is a vacuum made for liquids. So you suck the liquid out of the mattress or the carpet. At that point, I think it's time to get a new mattress. Probably couldn't afford it, so we did the $20 rental of the shop bag. Just sucking urine. Imagine the next person that spilled like a glass of wine. They're just like... Hold on. Reeking piss. That was your childhood mattress? Yeah. When I was a child. What size was it? I was a child. Like a queen? No. No.

That's what I'm saying. That was the same childhood mattress that I've spent the night on? No, that's not. How's that to say? No, it was like a kid, like a fool, a twin, like young kid. But I was saying about your pee-pee, right? When we were holding swords...

And I couldn't access Cam's sword because normally he just pulls his trousers down all the way to ankle. He shows butt cheeks in the... That's a weird thing you do. I don't show my ass when I take a piss. You're built like a pit bull back there. So I'm like, is there a dog in here? No, I'm not. I'm not built like a pit. He had to lift his skirt up and pee. I did. Yeah. And we ran into our lovely security here at the studio. And he probably thought we were...

had some external factors going on. They're like, is there a weird Christmas party having an essay? He's like, are there drugs in your system at this exact moment in time? I said, no, sir. I'm just Mrs. Claus. No, I was putting on my Christmas outfit and I was definitely feeling like I'm like the homeless guy outside the 7-Eleven or Christmas time. I can't say that. No, at the beginning, no, you probably can say that. Before he threw the beard on, he literally looked like he was just in a red gi, like ready for like a jiu-jitsu tournament. Like,

You do not look anything like Santa. Is Christmas your favorite? Your hat is so erect. I am erect. My hat is very erect right now. You would think there's something holding that up. Yes. But then the tip's flaccid. It's just... Imagine that. Just gummy worm. Your shaft is... Oh my God, what did we just create?

That is a cre- you're getting close. Don't go up my skirt. That is not manly. That is not manly. Don't do that. Oh, that's what's not manly about this situation. Don't do that. We're tiptoeing on the line. Okay, so you have three balls on your head. Hey, my head is f***ing itching. Oh my god. No, I had to take the beard off because during the intro, I was feeling it. I was feeling itchy. But what's your favorite Christmas memory?

Ooh. Okay, for one year, for whatever reason, I couldn't wait for Christmas morning, so I literally woke up middle of the night, ripped open my gift, realized I was eight, don't know how to re-wrap things. I went back to sleep, woke up the next morning, my parents got on to me and asked me right in front of them and said, don't you lie to my face, did you open this last night? And I went,

Of course I didn't. I'm like, I don't know. It's just, that's the only one that always sticks. And the fact that I thought my parents gave me $20,000 and it was just 20 bones. Oh my God. You just reminded me of something. One day for Christmas, right? I remember this. I can't believe I haven't said this on the podcast before. So, you know, you know, stocking stuffers. Yes. Get your manscaped one. 20% free Royal Ship Musical PSH. Check out. Great stocking stuffer. Actually, Christmas is today. You're too late. You need a big stocking. But this is the thing.

It's a thing in the hardened household. I'm a hardened. You're a little nasty little Mrs. Claus today. This is the thing, right? So stocking stuffers. It's a thing in our hardened tradition. We don't put much in them. I was just about to ask, what do you put in them? You're right. No, it's you. No means no? Okay. It's a thing. My underwear, I'm literally going to have two and a half testicles. How far my underwear is cutting off my right nut right now.

You ever had a butter knife and put it on a grape? Ooh. You know what I mean? It's not half bad. What? If you're pushing the... Are you a pain guy? No. You're like, I'm going to kick him. You're like,

No, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, God. Oh, stop. Okay, good morning. No, my nuts hurt. Listen! Stocking stuffers. Yes. You were talking about butter knives and grapes, and you were talking about me, stocking stuffers. Listen, right? Stocking stuffers. Yes. So, what we do is we give lottery tickets and our stocking stuffers to everybody all the time. I've never won one, ever. I've never won one. I've never won real significant money. So...

That's the thing. Gave one to my dad, right? And my dad, you know, bad shoulders. Yeah. He's like, oh, damn. Also, if you've ever seen him try to read something that's not on a billboard, he needs help. Yeah. And about...

I'd say two to four minutes to locate his glasses, put them at the perfect location, and get to it. And he doesn't have the side right here. He has no side. He's balancing every time. It's like an onicle. What's it called? An oracle arena. Steph Curry, 30 points. It's monocle. Monocle, like the peanut burrow. Let me talk. This is what's happening.

He got his lottery ticket, right? He was scratching it. We were all doing it. Pressing. $20. He always wins $20. It's good for him. Payton, nothing. Go home sad. Cool. You're going to have a lonely birthday. No one's going to tell you happy birthday. The power's going to be off. It's going to be snowing. You're going to be stuck inside. No water. Devastated sweaty loneliness. Except for Tampa. I'm happy, y'all. Listen. So my dad was going. My dad was going, right? And he goes, what the?

And he runs into the kitchen to get away to get his glasses. He gets his glasses. He's looking. He's like, $100,000. $100,000. I want $100,000. And I've never seen pure excitement out of my dad like that. And it felt good to see Mark that happy. Because I feel like since he had me, it hasn't been there. Just devastated. Just so disappointed. So...

I start crying. So we're like, oh shit, $100,000. We're good. Parents can retire. We're good. Bad grip of money. Bad understanding of finances. Horrid understanding. Didn't know. So he was happy like a kid. Like I saw a light in his eyes I've never seen before. So happy for him. Gives it to my mom. Mama goes, oh no.

Oh, that's the worst first thing you hear from someone when you think you just won a hundred grand. He goes, nah, what? What? What? She goes, what? She goes, she goes, this isn't a real lottery ticket. And I go, he goes, nah, that shit's a fuck up. Nah, nah, it is. Look, I scratched it. It's a hundred thousand. And my brother goes, I went to Hot Topic. I went to Hot Topic, dad. It was a prank. I've never seen my dad shut down.

So quick. Like you got hit with a liver shot. You ever have one of those memories where you're laying in bed at night? It's either an embarrassing memory or a sad memory and it changes your whole mood? I'm 24 years old, and I still think about that. When my dad shut down. Bro, that's... No, my...

Okay, at least his was the fake. Dude, my dad loves the fake scratch-off tickets. He's never given me one, but he loves them. He's like, I love that shit, man. They think they win a million dollars. They turn it around and it says, redeem at your mama's house. He's like, I love that shit. Wait. I love seeing poor bastards just getting ripped off thinking they won money. I'm like, damn. No, that's evil. No, yeah, that's evil. But...

At least he had a reason to think he won. Yeah. My parents literally got me a gift card. Think about how stupid I am. They literally got me a gift card. On the amount it said 2-0 dot 0-0. Okay. Remember how I said I thought I won $20,000? Yeah. Even if that dot looked like a comma. That's $2,000. It's not even close. And it's in the wrong spot. $2,000, commas in the wrong spot. What the hell was I reading? I've never been good at decimal points, though.

Do you get that? That's the thing about it because we got three teachers in here actually. No.

We have one teacher, two ex-teachers. Two ex-teachers. Okay, four. We have people in the education system. Ooh, okay, cool. English, I'm good at it. All right. I don't understand at a certain point, all right, why am I learning that? You know what I mean? You're giving me letters in my shit. I 100% agree. I spent two months retaking a test about a radius and circumference. That you've never used in real life. Hey, tell me what that is now. Ask me. Couldn't.

Bro, I have said this, especially spending a year in education, bro. There's, to a certain extent, it needs to branch off like college. If you're going to be an engineer, you gotta know that shit. You gotta use it every day. Trade school! Bro, it literally should be like that. Not every kid needs trigonometry. Not every kid needs pre-calculus. Like, I understand you need to know math to a certain extent, but once you get into that, that should be a choice. I would be willing to say after geometry...

And like, Algebra 1, you don't really even need that. But like, if...

4y plus 2x is 20 like you should be able to figure that out I remember after that it's like if you don't need it you don't need it I got into it there's me and my math teacher had a good like relationship so I was able to banter with her about stuff and I told her like I was trying to take a test and I was like I want my calculator like and she was like no the whole point is you have to figure it out like knowing the thing and I was like I said why like what am I gaining like if I can figure it out on my calculator I'm gonna be good and she goes well then you won't actually know it I was like so tell me this

In some foreign fairytale land, whenever I graduate and I get this math problem in front of me with a gun to my head, I don't have a phone on me. I can't use my TI-84. I can't use Socratic. I can't Google. I can't be like, what's the answer to this? Hey, Siri, give me this answer. Exactly.

Oh my god and math! Oh my god, last thing about math. Last thing about math. I don't give a shit how I got to the answer. If it's right, you give me credit. Exactly, bro! I don't care if I use- I got it off of Jimmy Bowie! I don't- oh, well if you cheated, that's different. But if I- if you do it in six steps, in my brain is why you're different because I'm different. Ho ho ho, Santa's here! Ho ho ho! Payton, zero. Intrusive thoughts, one.

Damn it, I was about to jump into song with you. Ho, ho, ho, Santa's here. Ho, ho, ho, Cam is near. I left the North Pole. He left the North Pole. To help my husband. I'm her husband. Make all those toys. Make all those toys. And beat the shit out of the reindeers.

I needed milk I needed milk To help him swallow cookies Help me swallow cookies He needed somebody grease I need somebody grease To go down the chimney Go down the chimney That was actually really athletic It was decent Okay, let go of me Let go of me The ankle lock! The ankle- oh! The ankle lock! I'm sorry It's- it's Santa Spider-Man Now look

Do you remember being a kid? I was about to say the craziest. Do you remember being a kid? Please, I'm dying. Oh my god. Do you remember? Can I say what I was going to say? Yeah. I was going to say, you sure we can't just... I need Jesus. Do you remember being a kid? I think everyone does. But some things I blocked out. You're scratching ass and pulling up draws. Dude, I don't like these draws because they're light blue. And every time I take... That's not light blue. It's nowhere near light blue. That's not light blue. You can see the sweat. That's not light blue.

That is not light blue. That is light blue. That's not light blue. You're lucky that Hannah's here because I would have taken this all off. That's not light blue. There's nothing about that that's light blue. Light blue is... That's not light blue? There's fucking holes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's holes in your draws. No. There's holes. There's a perfect... It almost looks like you took a vaccine in the sphincter. There is a perfect... I'm talking... It is a perfect draw angle of three points. I swear to God.

It's so high. Like, you fart with anger. If a fart made that, bro, this is your hole. Them bitches were up here. It's shooting, like, darts out. It's like, oh, my God, you sicko. You're a sicko. But I'm saying, when I take these draws off, when I take these draws off every time, there's always a wet streak right there on the crack. You know what I mean? Don't wink at me. You know what I mean? Right there on the crack. Because I accumulate a lot of wet right there. That's what I sweat, too, for sure. Yeah, I know. Well...

you remember being a kid yes all right so whenever i was a kid right long hair or before that all the time bald dip you felt my dip the other day dude his dip was bad it's getting worse he said scratch my dip and i said all right i was itching i literally went up there my hand went it was a dude i'm balding no no kid all the time so there there's a couth

That comes with playdates. I like that. You remember playdates? I do playdates with a bat. Yeah, I didn't get allowed on a lot of them. I can see that. Something about Caucasians. Ask it. Ask it. So, look. One of the things...

There is always like these rules that my mom told me before you go to a play date, right? And this was instilled in me and still as an adult when I go to a foreigner's house, I don't do. And I want to know if you had these same rules. Okay. Like rule number one, you don't go into the primary bedroom where the parents sleep. You don't do that. My mom didn't tell me that. My dad did. He said, man, you never go look at another couple's bed.

You don't ever go in there. You don't see that. That's sanctuary. You don't do that. Okay, rule number two, right? And this is a lot of, this is a big problem that a lot of my friends had when they came to my house. Now, my mom and dad wouldn't trip, right? They wouldn't be like, get out! But you don't open a foreigner's fridge. You don't willingly just go open a fridge. That's not your fridge. You don't see what's in there. You don't look at their vegetables and meat. That's their vegetables and meat.

That I can't agree on that well I know you cuz you're you're built like a trash truck Yeah, and what you do is you like this and you take every you're like a raccoon at 2:00 a.m. 100% That's me grizzly bear in the forest somebody left their New York City rat. I that now that's low That's low those bitches they can speak they speak Italian and they don't smell good Oh, I saw I saw a crow a black crow be careful. I saw a black crow picking up Tupperware outside of my house and

It was the strongest crow I've ever seen. Keep going. That's a bionicle. That's not a crow. That is a fake bird and you look like you're about to shit your pants. Santa's hot. Santa is hot. Good morning. Show me that skirt. No. If I ever went... First off, if I even went to a friend's house, we were close. I only went to like...

I didn't have play dates with, like, school acquaintances. Like, if I was going to your house, we're locked in. I get that. But that rule applies. I don't care. But the parents were the ones that told me. Okay. Like, make yourself at home. I'm not making you a sandwich. You're no longer a guest. I get that. If you want a sandwich, you're making it. I get that. So it was kind of like...

you know me i gotta eat i get that and this is the big rule that i think even adults have a problem with if you're going into a room like say their whole family's there or whatever or some of their friends are there you say hi oh my god everybody hates when people but i have a problem with that because i'm socially anxious so if you make eye contact with me my lower half shuts down i'm numb it doesn't work down here nothing i you you tell me it's like i got spaghetti on these stop winking at me

It's so itchy. It's like I got Spaghetti-O knees. And everybody's a little iffy about me when I walk in the room because they're like, he stinks. He's so tall. And there's a lot of hair. Yeah, a lot of hair on all locations. There's this weird odor. There's this weird odor. You look like you've been electrocuted. Did you just spit? He put his hat on like backwards. He looks like an elf now. There's a line right up your head. There you go. Stop that. No, that's not. No. The line is not supposed to be right there. Right there.

There you go. You look awful. No, okay. You know how – I don't know if I was just like dumb or whatever as a kid. I literally was so anxious to speak to my friend's parents. I didn't know what to call them. I would literally say, excuse me, Jason's mom. I would say that to them. Oh, you're a loser. I didn't know how to say – Mrs. or Miss. Jamie, Miss Jamie, Miss Sanchez. I didn't know. You would hit the first name even with a Miss. That's wrong. No, I never did that. I never did that.

I always messed up because all my parents' friends were divorced and I would say miss the dad's name and they'd be like, don't do that. And I was like, I'm confused on why. You were like, I'm going to walk home now. Okay. And like one thing about me though, I'm a big snacker, right? I'm a huge snacker. I've always been a snacker. Be careful. Don't you say it. Me too. I've always been a snacker. I've always been a snacker. So it would be hard for me not to go scavenge chips, right? Like a pretzel is my favorite chip. It's always been my favorite chip.

A pretzel's not even a chip. Pretzel's 100% not a chip. - I feel like you'd just like to debate with me now. Like that's our thing. - I feel like you say stupid shit all the time and you believe it with every ounce in you. - How the hell is a pretzel not a chip

have you ever got a actually you just answer that how is a pretzel not a chip mrs claus the easiest way to say is how is a pretzel chip okay why is your neurons firing and you go put the chip be careful why is that because have you ever gotten one of those big family packs of assorted chips right he's got cheetah oh shut up answer ever got one of those big boxes that says doritos cheetos flamingos

Lay's. Yeah. All that. What else is that? What's always the last one to go? The rolled gold pretzels. The pretzels. And guess what? To the chip bag. A pretzel is 100% a cracker. It is not a chip. It's not a chip at all. It's not even made from the same shit that chips are made of. What does that mean? The base of it. It's not, it's a pretzel. What is it? What's the base of a pretzel? What's the base of a chip? Uh, chips aren't made of dough, dumbass. You don't have to knead out dough and then make a pretzel. So chips aren't bread?

I didn't work at the chip factory, dumbass. I don't know. You just said chips aren't bread. I don't know. I'm asking you a question. What are they? Dumbass. What are they? Chips. Oh, so I can go to the chip factory and be like, can I get the chip beginning? What's the chip beginning? I think corn based. It's damn sure not.

Bread okay, and it's damn sure not dough. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay say it's the same at the beginning say it's the same cuz we don't know you're just saying things you don't know you don't know a pretzel is dough go to Auntie Anne's and look at it make it that's different that's different a fluffy a fluffy pretzels is different from a chip pretzel hey if they leave it in the oven for six hours it's gonna no if they leave it in the oven for six hours it's gonna get hard just like rolled no I'm talking about the little ones the little ones with the salt on them

No, same dough. No, listen. You're making my head itch. What do chips come in? What do chips come in? What do chips come in? A bag. What do you press? What do rolls like? That is fucking true. Pringles come in tubes. No, okay. I'm talking about the chip boxes. It wouldn't be in there if it wasn't a chip. Okay. Okay. Okay. So if they put yogurt in there, I'm not going to say that's, like, you know what I mean? They should just put yogurt in there if they're putting random shit in the chip box.

It's just a box. My left ear went numb. It's just a box. That's all it is. They wouldn't just put random shit in there. There's a reason. It's because there's a chip. They're cousins. They're second cousins. So they can kiss and it's not weird. Arkansas, hello. Hello, good morning. They are cousins. They are not one and the same. They're not one and the same. So they're related though. They're family. They're related, but they're not the same. It's a chip. A pretzel is a cracker. Okay, there's different kinds of pretzels, right? Yeah.

A Cheeto Puff is the same thing as a pretzel. What? A Cheeto Puff is the same thing as a pretzel. No, it is not. A Cheeto is a chip. A Cheeto. What's a Cheeto Puff? The fluffy one. What's a ball? It's not dough. What's a ball? What's a ball? What's a chip?

You think a Cheeto Puff is a cracker? It's closer to a cracker than a pretzel! How is it closer to a cracker? Because of the texture of it. When you buy the pretzel, what does it go? When you get a pretzel, what does it go? Exactly. What happens when you get a Cheeto Puff? Oh, you heard that. What happens when you eat a Dorito? Yeah, what happens when you eat a pretzel? Okay! What happens when you eat steak?

Okay, what happens you eat cereal? No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. It doesn't crunch dumbass. I'm not crunching. Steak doesn't crunch. Unless you're putting that bitch in an oven and leaving it for days. I definitely put steak in an oven before. And leaving it for days unless you're making jerky asswipe. It's what is jerky? Meat, not a chip.

What do you classify as a chip? What is the basis of a chip for you then? The chip? You're talking about because it's in the same fucking box. See how you don't answer my questions and you just like to argue with me? Chips. Santa's not a happy camper. The easiest thing, Santa's not going to get happy pleasure if he keeps it up. Chips are not made of dough. Pretzels are. Are you 100% sure on that? I'm asking you a question. Are you just saying things that you almost believe is true?

If we went to Auntie Anne's- I asked you a question, dog! I am 100%- I am- what the hell? I am 100% pretzels are made of dough. 'Cause I've seen it. Hey. With my eyes!

What life did you live before here? Where you were at the pretzel factory? Hey, maybe once there was a long line in Auntie Anne's and instead of- That's what I'm saying. That's where you're wrong. You're talking about Auntie Anne's. That's fluffy. That's carnival food. It's a fucking pretzel! No, I'm talking about the Rolls Gold ones. What are they called? It's Rolled Gold. Rolled Gold. Not Rolls Gold. Have you ever gone to Auntie Anne's and opened out a bag like this and goes, You ever done that to a bag? Alright, so it's not. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when you go like that. Tell me one reason a pretzel is a chip outside that they're sold in the same bag. Crunch the same.

They crunch the same. And it's put in a box of chips and it's in the chip aisle. It's in the chip aisle. Pretzels are in the chip aisle. You know what else is on the chip aisle? Pistachios. Are those chips? No, it's not. No, it is not. That is in the protein aisle. Nuts and beef jerky aren't on the chip aisle. No, it's in the health aisle with the protein powders. Where do you shop at? Whole market? No. Whole foods? You go to Kroger, Target, anywhere. There's that line that has all the rice cakes are on the chip aisle.

Are those chips? No, that's not. What grocery store do you go to? Air One, you bougie bitch. You said there was shelved bacon in the past. I don't know what I got to do. You nasty bastard. They do. And I got proven that. I got proven that. Nice sentence. Oh, sorry. I went to private school because my parents were rich. Sorry I got LASIK surgery when I was six years old. Never had LASIK. Sorry. I just know that something made of dough and something not made of dough are not the same thing. Cam's on steroids. Excuse me.

No, I'm not. No, I'd be much bigger if I was on steroids. Hey, nice hat, asshole. You too. You looked like my grandma before. I love her. I miss her a lot. But it's fact. She would like the joke. Bro, no. You actually, you have me. A pretzel is not a chip. It's not. You don't know anything about shit about nothing. Tell me one reason. I'm not having this debate anymore because you're not answering my question. I answered you. You said tell me why it's not. I said dough.

It looks like Spider-Man just shot a web in your mouth when you did that. What? You fucking swallowed it. Oh my God. What was I supposed to do with it? Put it in my hand? Spit it out. Oh, okay. That's the thing about you. See, you're so contradictory. You're so contradictory because every week I spit and I get a call from you. I get a call from Liv. I get a call from my mom. I get a call from my dad. I get a call from your mom. That was really fast. And you have to stop spitting. And so when I swallow. You don't have to spit on the carpet. First off, you chose to hock a loogie, you creep. I had to.

Why? I've been waking up gagging on myself. I can't remember the last- You need CPAP. You're saying these medical terms, bro? What did you not do, bro? You went to the X-Men school. You know everything, don't you? Golly, bro. Just say, I don't know. I don't know something. God damn.

Dude, you make me itch on Christmas. It's Christmas. People are with their family. Oh, speaking of Christmas. I hope you're enjoying the good pretzel crackers at your Christmas. It's chips. It's in the chip box. Matter of fact, I think some of them literally say cracker on the back. The snack? No. I think they literally say cracker. You think? There you go. Thank you. You don't know. Fact check? No. I'm going to talk about Christmas. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't want to talk about this anymore. You're 100% honest they don't say pretzel? I know. I don't say shit that I don't know. I say stuff that I know. But you're speaking as if you do know. Because I'm saying the things I know.

So do they say it first? I don't know. Let's talk about Christmas. And there's something that pisses me off, right? And I haven't got this experience in a while, but now that I live in a home, I'll start getting it. Santa needs your inhaler. I was trying to, I really was trying to gauge. I said, is he out of breath right now? No, Santa's been running around. Hey, here we go. That was a long hole, dog. You were an Olympian. Of course you were. What'd you do? You were an Aquarian, too? Goddamn. Yeah, Lee. Kim got his fishing license last week, didn't you?

Yeah, dude. I went fishing once. Cam also went to basic training with SEAL Team 6. I left my... Listen, Christmas lights, right? Okay. It's a magical thing. Christmas lights are special. Golly, Mrs. Claus, why so high? It's like a set up prim and proper. Thank you. Cross your legs for me. Show me a little thigh. Show daddy a little thigh.

Dude, honestly, if we were in a zombie apocalypse, right? And they talked about this on Tim and Italks. If they were in a zombie apocalypse, I would turn on you after a while. Why? You'd hold us back. Matter of fact, you'd be the... I would be the only reason you're alive. No, because you have the best meat. Not like that. I mean, like... Wow. Like, if we had to turn on each other, if we...

If we had to turn on each other, right? I'd eat your dog first. I'd kill her. Snap her neck, take her legs off, put her on a grill. I'd kill your dog. Then, I would be like, if we had to start going towards humans... You'd be dead before you took your first bite. If we had to start going towards humans, right?

No one would want to eat me. You eat me, you get poisoned. Yeah, you eat him, you get rotten flesh, bad meat on the bone. There's not much meat at all. Just sticky, pointy bones, really hairy skin. It would not be a good outfit. It wouldn't be a good course. But after I looked at your thigh, you probably have the purest meat. I do. You probably have healthy meat. I do have healthy meat. I would cut your... Would you let me cut your leg in a zombie apocalypse to eat you? Absolutely not. But you know you'd live. Absolutely not. But we needed to eat.

I'll go find food. We can't. We're an underground bunker. We go out, there's radiation gas. Okay, you're not cutting my leg. So you'd rather your whole family and friends kaput than us eat your leg? Why can't I eat yours? We just said it. I have nasty meat. I'm good for a little choke.

The fact that I was gonna say gag, but I switched to choke and I thought I'd make it in the finish. I'm good for a little nasty meat. Some salt and pepper on that joint. Why can't we team up and figure out the problem? See, you're so quick to turn. That's something about you. You're a fast turner. You turn quick. In the car as well. Oh my god, in the car today. You're quick-

Oh my god. Santa had a bad sleigh ride up here. When I tell you Santa almost shot Rudolph in the skull with a .22, I shit you not. Guys, we are literally not in costume. We're just driving. We are going down the road. We actually have been stuck for like 30 minutes in traffic. It was horrible. I swear to God out of nowhere, we're just talking...

Yeah, bro. No, that's crazy. I actually think I should call. And a rock just shattered his Tesla again. We were silent. Again, he has three cracks in his windshield now. And it goes, this is how it goes. Every time I schedule an appointment for like $1,400 to fix it. No, the first one. Tell him the first one. The first time it got cracked, he calls appointment. They're like, it'll be about a thousand on the dot to fix this big crack. We'll get you good.

There you go. Because then it went up and down to three more. And so I'm like, I'm going to have to go get it fixed, right? I schedule the appointment. And then again, wham! I get another crack. I'm like, Jesus, at least I didn't get that one fixed and I had to spend more. You call them, they're like, yeah, it's actually $14. You're like, what happened to my quote? Yeah. And then, so I've been looking to get it fixed now.

And then today, we literally, once it got cracked today, I started crying. It was, I should have took a picture. It was so funny. I felt so bad because I'd like, I would be pissed if that happened to my car. But God, I was like, oh my God, this is just your luck. He was crying in the middle of traffic. Oh my God, it was so funny. But do you think, this is a conspiracy and I want to get into it. Actually, I was talking about Christmas lights. This is what I was talking about. So Christmas, right? When is too early to,

To put up Christmas lights and when it's too late or too... Santa's gonna have a stroke. When it's too late to take them down. Is that what I'm trying to say? Yes. When are the parameters? When is an acceptable parameter for Christmas lights? Putting up and putting down. The start date is... In my book, it's not even subjective. It is literally an objective date. Okay. You cannot put your Christmas lights up

Before Thanksgiving. Thank you. You cannot. Thanksgiving Day, that's your go-to. As soon as you eat, if you don't Black Friday shop, hell, you can go take your nap and start putting them up right now. Get up to the attic. That's fine. Go get them out. If it is on an hour, a second before Thanksgiving meal is had, you're in the wrong. Period. Now, I might be crazy about taking them down. You go first. I went first on this. First of all, hey, if it's July and you got a lit up reindeer in your front yard, I'm calling the police, dog. Yeah.

That's an HOA violation. 100%. SWAT's going to kick down the door. I'm going to need those HOA fees. Your inflatable snowman, really cool. You spent $300 for it to be up for a month. Take it down, though. It's not us. Hey, man, how's it going? On their snowman. So this is my thing. I'm really nervous about what you're about to say. I start to get a little upset when it's four days out of Christmas, and I'm still seeing stuff. That's a little early, but I'm ready. We're on the new year. New year, new you. Get out.

Four days? Four days. That's a bit much. It's crazy. That's a bit much. But I would say there's like, on day seven, after Christmas, Christmas is over. The holly jolly spirit's done. You know what I mean? It should be. Oh, it is. The spirit is. So why is that up? Because it's like, that's, I'm not going to lie, you wouldn't be the best to argue that. Why? If it went to your personal life. Why? Why is that trash there? What do you mean? Wait, wait, don't touch me. What do you mean?

What'd I do? You said Christmas is over? Put the lights up. Yeah. I'm like, hey, you ate that Chipotle last year. Why is the bowl still there? There's a fermented biome of bacteria growing. That's not true. You've gotten a lot better. I've gotten a lot better because I have an adequate trash system now. Yeah, we do. Yeah. Don't touch me. Well, four days is a bit aggressive. That's mildly aggressive. Yeah, but this is the thing now with me. I actually have a fridge that's big, right? You do. I don't have that one column anymore fridge. Oh.

Oh my god. I'm having a hard time of taking things out of the fridge because I want that space to be utilized. You can tell them what's in there. I was just about to say. Patreon or tell them here. You tell them here. Y'all, if you open this man's fridge, a bottle of ranch, six pizza boxes, two of which are bone dry. There's nothing in it. Just cardboard in a fridge.

You know the tray that comes out for your veggies or your meats and cheeses? He just has two to-go boxes in there from miscellaneous restaurants. Top left sector, there's a 24-pack of Red Bull. I didn't know they made those. I did not know they sold 24 Red Bulls at once. Below that, seltzers. I mean, it is unbelievable, this man's fridge. Because I've never had that luxury. I've never had that luxury. Oh my God, your pantry's not better! I don't have anything in my pantry. I don't know how to cook. Your pantry is literally cereal-

Minute Maid mashed potatoes and 47 different chips to choose from. Like pretzels. It's literally the Idaho spuds that you just add a drop of water and you whip it up. A box of cereal. He doesn't even have milk. And 60 things of chips. You didn't have milk. I don't have almond milk in my right side, in my right corner pocket. I didn't see it. Isn't that crazy? How you're willing to defile me on the internet? I didn't see it. You defile me in the bedroom and then you defile...

When are these going to stop? I don't know. You're wearing that dress real good. I am. I give it to you. I'm going to take that apron off you. No, I need to see someone. For what? Oh, my God. Hippie is back. We were leaving the mall.

Cam literally limped. I had to carry him one arm out of the mall. It was right in the middle of a fan interaction. Yeah. And it was like a real fan that they knew the hippie jokes. Basically, we literally left and I was trying to make fun of how he was walking and immediately God doesn't like Arlie. My head is so itchy. Check his... Or I'm coming! That's not funny. That's not funny. That's not funny.

I meant to say God doesn't like ugly and karma struck immediately. I was making fun of his walk and in doing so my hip went out of socket. I was in immense pain. The second we're walking in my, I'm like, ah, they're like painting camp. Oh my God. Mrs. Claus is wet. Get the camera off me. Get the camera off me. I'm struggling.

Dude, you're gross. Honestly, you've been smelling really bad recently. That's because I didn't shower yesterday. Oh my God. Oh, let's talk about that. Cam, so Liv had a girls night with Hannah and Ashlyn. They all did their thing. Cam and Ryan and Danny all came and stayed with me. We're going to have an extended episode with them and Patreon out right now. Look, Cam came over, right? We were playing 2K, drinking. It was a little warm in my house, but you know, we're boys. Why is it warm in your house?

No, but it was a little warm in my house. You know, boys, we're playing games. We're playing vidya games. We're drinking a little seltzer. Shout out to Nectar, our friends over there. We're playing a little vidya games. We're farting and shitting our pants. You know what I mean? I'm getting a little powdered donuts. Army man, just farting a little bit. And then it gets to that point in the night when the alcohol is flowing. You're having fun times. And then you're playing a little UFC, right? You've seen Israel Adesanya get knocked seven times in a row. And you're like...

I want to do that. Peyton said, you can beat me in this game, but you can't beat me in real life. So we start to wrestle. Honestly, I am better than you, but you're just way more than me. You have better lungs than me. That's it. That's it. Literally, I was controlling you, and then you were like, let me use my pure hip size and lay it on your frail body. To make a long story short, I ended in the most physically dominant position you could be. Normally, he mounts me with... You never threw elbows. Oh, no, I never had to.

Anyway, so we were wrestling, right? We were getting a little stanky. We were getting a little sweaty. We were getting a little nasty. And then Ryan comes in. He wrestles Ryan for a little bit. Now we're sweating and wet and gross. Cam had on sweatpants and a t-shirt. I don't know what came over me. We go out that night. We're drinking. We're having fun. We're in public sweating. Full 24 hours go by. The girls come back. They are all done up looking real pretty, smelling like roses and butterflies and Bambi.

Cam has on the same outfit. And he smells like... Bro, the worst thing is, I mean, this is a literal gut punch. When your wife walks in, her friends are there, right? They're my friends too. They're not her friends. They're my friends too. It's like, hey, you look great. Hey, you look great. Awesome. Hey, babe, I love you. I haven't seen you. The first words that came out of his mouth.

You stink. And it's literally just like a gut punch. And we're... No, we were driving here today. We were driving the studio today. That's bullshit. That had to be the fart or the almonds. You smelled like the color yellow. It was either fart or the almonds. I bathed. I put deodorant. I did everything. No, but you have this thing about you where like if you... I don't know. Like...

You smell like outdoors. You know what I mean? You don't smell fresh. You smell like you spent a day on the river fishing. I smell like Boy Scout. You smell like you caught a bass and you've kept it in your backpack. I smell like I just learned how to do an amazing knot. No, that, excuse me. That was a rough time. I'm not going to lie.

Honestly, but I think you're getting nastier than me. I think I was just about to give you a compliment, you dirty bitch. I think you are... What's going on? I don't know what's going on in the backseat. I was about to give you a compliment. Oh, about what? You dirty, rude asshole, and you just made fun of me. Wait, what was your compliment? I was going to say you've been starting to smell a lot better. I know, I've been bathing in cologne.

You have. But it's an investment, though. It is. It is an investment. I have two colognes now. You do. They're both very nice. But, no, we were going out the other night, and I put on cologne, and I was feeling good about myself. And then we were about to go, but we did a little sporting events. We did whatever. And Cam, I was like, Cam was like, hey, I have 17 colognes. Do you want to wear one? And I go, no, bro, I just put on cologne. He sniffs me, and he goes...

No, you probably need some more. Honest brother answer. Nah, I guess. You had it on for six hours. We were hanging out, doing guy shit, farting, beatboxing, spitting some rhymes, maybe a little wrestle, maybe a little half, you know, headlock. I said, hey, just pick one. He said, I don't want to mix. All right, chemistry. But since it's Christmas time, I think it's the only right thing to do is help the people out. Okay. I think the love doctor should come.

Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! You got something for me, Secretary Kim? Alright, I think I found one, buddy. You don't sound like my secretary. I think I found one, Sonia. There we go. Alright, I need something, but okay. I need something toxic. Like, I need, like...

I want to help them in a real way, and I want to help them in a toxic way. Because that's what Dr. P does. Once that pelvis starts to pelvic, you know what I mean? Once those hips are swinging. You like my hips, Mrs. Claus. The rope's ringing. I don't. Be careful about the rope. I think I found one. All right, here we go. I think I found one. Here we go, Lord. Dear Dr. P. Hello.

I was talking to this guy for a few months. Things seemed like they were going good. Okay. All of a sudden, he started just getting dry with his texts. Oh. Okay. I asked him if we were good and if he was just busy. All right. Then he ghosted me. Oh. Ghosted. Some calls him Casper. Ghosted. Okay. Was I wrong for asking him that? Oh, no. Here's the spicy part.

Also, how do I make him regret his decision? Oh my God, I love this. Oh, she's coming for hearts. Hold on. You see it. The hips are going. Dr. P is feeling it. Dr. P is feeling it. You're humping the air. First of all, all right. So they've been talking for some months, right? For some months is her words. I can tell you right now. A few months. I can tell you right now to her, it was exclusive. He was doing his own thing. Let me break that to you right now. He was out there. He was at a great buffet and you just were the main platter. Yeah.

He was getting nice sides. He got carrots. He smelled good. He tried it. Okay, so they were talking for some months. He started getting dry. Seemed really good. All of a sudden, he started getting very dry. I asked him if we were good, and if he was just busy, he ghosted me. Okay, this is the thing. I'm going to tell you what it is. And I know this because I'm the best love doctor in the world. This is very true, Sonia. He was liking the rhythm that they had.

months talking, right? Talking, maybe doing the canoodles. Maybe, you know, y'all are having good vibes, good fun. Little devil tango. You were his favorite. I talk about this often on Dr. P. There's ranking systems. There is. You were just the favorite at that time. And it hurts to hear, but that's what I'm for. It's like, was she an MVP caliber player? She was. She was a starting point guard. But then she asked for a contract extension.

Now she's not even a six-man. Role player, vet minimum. So he was fine. He was like, I'm going to ghost you. I'm going to be dry for a little bit because I'm entertaining my Caesar salad right now. My Caesar salad had a lot of croutons on it, and I love croutons. So he was eating that. He was putting ranch dressing on it. But you were the steak. But let him enjoy that Caesar salad for a little bit. Once you asked that question of, like, why are you spending so much time on the appetizer? He said, oh, no. My steak is getting cold. I don't like that.

And he dipped out. Now, what did she do after he ghosted? I don't have 2020 on me. No, but didn't she say? She said, was I wrong for asking him? Also, how do I make him regret his decision? Okay, now this is what I love, and I love you. Me and you would get along. You and Dr. P would be good in a cocoon together, you know what I mean? Because you have that toxic side to you. I'm a small butterfly about to spread my wings on a spring in April. Don't wink at them. Don't talk to me. Okay. So this is what I would say.

I like that. You get back. You get back. Hopefully she met the friend group. Oh, God. You're digging deep. Well, if he ghosted you, to hell with him. Piss on him. He likes Caesar salad better. Show him your filet mignon. Oh. Filet mignon. Show him your filet mignon. Don't wink at me. You go find that best friend. You know what I mean? You go find that best friend.

What you do is you throw that crouton to that best friend. You'd be like, do you like steaks? Why are you winking at me? Stop it. You flirt with the friend. You see if that friend is a bad friend. Most best friends are bad friends. They'll get with the ex. You know what I mean? So what you'll do is flirt with them lightly. Just flirt. Be like, hey, how you doing? Don't even bring up that guy. Y'all don't know he exists.

Bring up that guy. Have some dates. Don't jump too fast into it. Bring him in. Rope him in. Rope him in with that nice little filet mignon you got. Show him that butter knife. You know what I mean? Then you get under him. We've jumped to coitus. Yeah. We've broken the baby. If you want. If you're an adult, you can do what you want. Remember, this is Dr. P. This is Dr. P. This is not Uncle P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

You smooch the best friend. You smooch the best friend. You smooch. At the most. Under him. What does that mean? You can kiss under somebody. Or a Spider-Man kiss. Okay. You smooch him. Okay. And then you let it be known. Or, oh my God, this is the good toxic move. You go on a coffee date with that guy. If you don't even want to kiss the best friend, that's fine. You go on a coffee date with the best friend. You take a picture of that coffee. Make sure that friend's hand is in that picture. And you post that on your story. No caption. No caption.

Oh my god, he's gonna lose his mind. And then he's gonna text you. He's gonna be like, I shouldn't have got with that Caesar salad. What are you doing with my best friend? He's like, Dan, that steak's smelling nice. And then you'd be like, this steak was ordered by somebody else. The kitchen then took it to somebody else, another table. Oh, this shit's fucking medium. Yeah, there's a steak shortage over here. That's how you do it. How do you feel about that? Is that a good advice? I mean, you're the best love doctor. You're the best love doctor. Excuse me. You're the best love doctor.

That's no. But what would you say? How would you go about it? You know I'm a gentle heart. I'm not the toxic guy. I don't believe revenge is the best. Oh, so you would say just move on. I'd go he wasn't for you. But he hurt her. He manipulated you. Pray for him. We don't harbor hate. We move on.

And that's why you're not the best love doctor in the world. And that's why you are. And that's why I'm... Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

Another day of Dr. P. Another beautiful, another client satisfied, taken care of. Dr. P is a toxic son of a bitch. I do not agree with much he says. You're hitting the TV. My mic stand is long. My mic stand. And she rocked my mic in the park. Lift up that skirt for daddy. This is what I want to say. It is Christmas time, Cameron. It is. And I think it's only right that I give you a Christmas gift. Absolutely not. In front of the You Should Know podcast. Absolutely not.

My heart immediately doubled in beats per minute. I'm very nervous. I've been nervous this whole Dr. P segment because I know what's about to happen. Why are you... Shout out to our friends at Nectar. We gotta do this together. Alright. I don't think I feel good. I don't. I'm shaking. I'm about to gag. I feel like right before the LA Live show. I'll need an ambulance. Alright, Cam. Let's get serious for a minute. This is a comedy podcast, but...

But you are my best friend in the whole world. You have single-handedly changed my life by joining this. This is way too many good words before a, like, give me like a jersey or something. Lift up your skirts falling. No, no, on the thing. Excuse me. You single-handedly changed my life joining this podcast, and I'm very bad at emotionally expressing that with words. So it is Christmastime, and we have been blessed enough to be put in a position I can get you a Christmas gift.

My cap's getting tired. So I want to get you a Christmas gift right now. Am I closing my eyes? No. Oh, God almighty. Why does he do this? Koalas, why does he do this? My head's just fucking itching. Santa Claus got you a gift. That's the worst Christmas bag I've ever seen. That's something you give to, like, Delilah on her eighth birthday at, like, at, like,

21 jump house. Who's Delilah? I don't know. Here we go. We're both so nervous. Here you go. Here's your gift. Open it up. Now open it up slow, right? Open it up slow. It's heavy. It's a heavy gift. I love you. I can't. I can't. I love you. I want you to enjoy this gift. I can't do it. You can. Open up this gift. Open it up on your lap. On your lap. So the camera can see it. Just take the wrapping out. Take the wrapping out. All of it. Now pick up that box.

No, you didn't. Tell them what you see. Put the mic closer to you. This is some Mike Kennedy shit. This is 100% not what the gift is. There's something in this box. Open it up. Tell them what you see. What is that? So this is an off-white shoe box. I got him some off-white shoes. Expensive pair of shoes. Oh, I know you, you serpent. Look at him. He's not even trying. I'm so nervous. Open it up. It wouldn't have been that easy. Open it up towards the camera. I can't see it. I don't know what it is. Look at it. Look at your off-white shoes.

It's like my most beat up pair of shoes. Show him the camera. Show the camera. I gave him my old Air Forces. We've had great memories while I'm wearing those shoes. Thanks. I'm like, awesome gift. You're playing the slow game. It's making it worse. Don't throw those shoes. I don't want to open this shoe. This one has the wrapping and I don't want to open it. Okay, but be very careful whenever you take that. Pick that whole shoe up and be very careful.

Put your cap back on. Please put your cap back on. Please put your cap back on. Now I want you to pick up the whole shoe, right? Pick up the whole shoe. There's a little something special in that one. Now very carefully grab that whole red thing. That whole thing. This shoe is... Like, look at this. This shoe is mutilated. All right, Kier. I'm so nervous. And he's not even looking me in the eyes. I'm so nervous. I don't want to do this!

I don't want to do this, bro. I'm very bad at giving gifts. Here we go. I'm undeserving. Here, all right. Carefully open that. Okay. Now, as you do it, I want to say you're my best friend in the world. I love you and thank you for everything you've done. And that's a small token of my appreciation for you. I don't like the size. My mind is starting to race. Just don't guess. Just open and enjoy. Make sure the camera sees. Make sure. I'm starting to. Kim, I got you. Open it up.

Bro, why? Open it up. I don't deserve. Just open it up. I got Kim his first ever Rolex. Oh my God, bro. I am undeserving. I'm about to throw up. Yeah. I got you first ever Rolex. I know you would never get that for yourself. Bro, why would you do this? So now we can be twins.

I'm literally shaking my hands shaking too. I love you, buddy. I hope you enjoy it. It is shaking Oh my god. Thank you so much. Yeah, no problem, man. You're gonna have to get it sized on you, but Kim is now in the Rolex family Come here, man. I love you, buddy Oh my god, I can't even yeah, I'm I can't like breathe right I

I can't look at it. I can't breathe right now. I'm very nervous. My heart hurts. Oh my God, it's stunning though. Yeah, shout out to Vukom. Vukom has been helping me out a lot in this process. Vukom, you dirty dog. Yeah.

You got your first ever little time piece there. Oh, my God. One more time for Cam getting his first Rolex. No, no, no, no. One more time for Uncle P on the fucking gift of the century. No, no problem.

Bro, this is that's like way this I'm gonna put it in your jewelry box. No, oh you do that I'll kill you and everybody you love that. I'm really gonna be like bro. You know you're gonna wear that every day If you don't have it, that's too good every time I see him back show me your wrist, bro Yeah, yeah, enjoy it. No shit. I'm like, I don't even I don't even feel like I want to even touch it Literally, I'm like this is - you own it. So I'm shaking I'm nervous shaking like shit. Oh

Oh my God. Why? What's the name of it? So I can say it. It's a Rolex Datejust. Yeah, I hit that little uh. Yeah. Oh my God, bro. And now music's going to start hitting a little different for you. I'm like, ah! Yo. Death. I gave you like a classier one that's like, it gave me very Cam vibes when I was going through them. 100%.

God, bro. I'm putting it in your jewelry box. If you put it in my jewelry box, I'll kill you. Bro, why? There's going to be an Indeed.com for co-hosting a podcast. This is like... This is... No. It's happened. It's yours. No, don't... Okay, don't... No, I know you like it. For y'all, I'm also like... I am a giver. We're both more like... We enjoy giving gifts over receiving. So it's definitely easier for me to like get something for someone else and give it to them. And I love that because...

like it's just an amazing feeling but receiving them bro it's like damn like I don't it's just wild um Santa Claus is not done though we have another integral part of the you should know podcast now it's not now I'm gonna break it to you it's not that I can he's like Santa's reindeer no no Santa's Santa's bacon cone is hurting bro but uh

Mama Liv, HBIC, can you make it to the middle? Here, she can sit here. Yeah, okay, sit here. Okay, I love you, buddy. I love you, too. Enjoy it, enjoy it. I want you to rock with Brad. Oh, shit. All right. Now I feel like shit for being a brat about... Oh, no, you're fine. It's a very small gift. It's a small gift, but here you go. I hope everything's right on it, because if not...

Mrs. Claus told me a lot. We gotta take care of Mama Liv. Okay. Mrs. Claus with some cake. I had to get you some. I had to get you right. I had to get you right. Yeah, I had to get you right. Thank you. Now check the signs because Santa might have f***ed up. I don't know. Santa might have f***ed up. But Santa has the receipt. Santa can go back. These are seven youth, which I believe is eight and a half in women's. Santa f***ed up.

Santa has the receipt, and Santa will get those in your size. Are you sure? No, you don't know. I can try them on. You never know. No, no, it's fine. I made sure I had the receipt just for that. So we're fine. We can go back. It's the place where I was. No problem. One more time for a you should know Christmas. Hey, okay. Switch. Y'all switch. Y'all switch again. I'm okay. No problem. That's Uncle P's Santa P.

Okay. We have to get it sized. I'm slowly... No, yeah, well, of course you gotta get it sized, but this is... I have a place. I had no... Oh, you have a place? Oh, yeah. I wonder why you have a place. It's the exact same one. I have slowly... My heart has dropped back to semi-regular. Okay. So I can speak a little more on it now. This is an unbelievable gift, and I truly don't, like, can't fully express it, but just know this is, like...

Yeah, you know you can't look at me in the eyes whenever we're talking about serious shit. I can't. Yeah, you suck with emotions. But, bro, this is unreal. Like, this is... I literally feel... And this is stupid, and I don't ever really say this, but I don't feel... Because you know me. Like, I love these things, but you said it perfectly. I would never... I just can't stomach it to get it for myself. Exactly. So...

Bro. Damn. Well, it's yours. You have it forever. That's a watch I will ask you for the rest of your life. You pass it to your kids one day. So I'm literally going to like every night when I go to them, just like get her nice and ready for the morning.

Bro. Yeah. You got your first Rolex, buddy. That's insane. That is lit. That's literally insane. Yeah. Holy shit. And thank you to the, you should know podcast family for allowing us to be able to do cool things like that. Thank you to all of you. Koala club members, non Koalas, anybody, anybody that's following on any platform. Thank you also so much. Okay. Wait, no, sorry. Go ahead. Don't, this is, I'm not going to say we'd, he's already received this Christmas gift. Don't think I'm just a, no, no, no, no, no. Okay.

I've been taken care of by the Kennedys. And it was crazy the gift that they gave me. I was thinking about it 30 minutes before, and I was telling him, I thought about it 30 minutes before because I was trying to do something, and I couldn't due to I didn't have the thing. I don't know if you want me to say it. Bro, I can't even look at this. Once you're going to look at it every day for the rest of your life. It's going to take me some time. Shout out to Vukom one more time for taking care of this. Also, to help us recover from this crisis,

Tampa tickets are live right now. The link is in the description below. We're going to be in Tampa February 17th. We can all enjoy a great post-birthday together. And then Austin, we're coming home. Or I'm coming home March 1st. And those tickets are coming out soon. You do the outro. I can't even talk right now. Jesus Christ. Thank you so much. Yeah, no problem, bro. I look at you and I want to get it sized before we go out tonight. And I want you to just... I'm just like...

Bro, this is unbelievable. Anybody want an Apple Watch? I'm just like, no. No, definitely, I won't wear this to the gym. Wait, do you wear them to the gym? Or is that like, you're just a douche at that point? I mean, you could, but. I mean, you can like swim in that. You can take a shower in it, but I've never done it with mine.

All right, guys. This was a fantastic Christmas episode. First and foremost, we hope all of you have been safe this holiday season. We hope all of you have spent time with some loved ones, whether that's families, friends, significant others, anything. Make sure you cherish them. Make sure you tell them you love them and spend some time with them this holiday season. We hope you had a merry, merry Christmas. This was episode 92. Get your good karma and confuse the casuals with this week's secret code. This comes out on Christmas. Let's keep it simple. M-

C. Christmas. E. Everyone. There you go. Merry Christmas, everybody. We love you so much. We hope you had a great Christmas. Happy New Year. We're approaching on episode 100. Episode 100. Oh, it's going to be a movie. They don't even know. Did we already tell them? Did we already speak to them? We haven't told them what we're doing. Okay. We told them we have some crazy stuff planned. That might be like a two-hour episode. Excuse me. We love you guys so much. Thank you for allowing us to do cool things like this. Tampa, we can't wait to see you February 17th.

Austin, March 1st. The boy is coming back home, back in his stomping grounds. He pissed excellence in that town for 22 years. Damn it, he's not going to stop now. Austin, March 1st. Remember, the Tampa tickets are available now. Austin tickets are not, but the date is confirmed. So if you need to start making planes, trains, boats, floats, I don't care how you get there. It's March 1st.

We cannot wait to see you. We love you guys. And remember, hey, this is the perfect day to say it. One out of two Claude Bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas.