cover of episode SURPRISING FRIEND WITH A KANGAROO! -You Should Know Podcast-

SURPRISING FRIEND WITH A KANGAROO! -You Should Know Podcast-

2024/1/8
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You Should Know Podcast

Chapters

Cam and Peyton discuss Peyton's recent interest in fashion, including a bold outfit choice involving exposed underwear. Peyton shares a story about a wardrobe malfunction with his pants, prompting laughter and playful banter between the hosts.
  • Peyton is exploring fashion and trying new styles.
  • Peyton experienced a wardrobe malfunction with his pants.

Shownotes Transcript

Most tax pros leave a message. It's Jane. I'm moving on to a TurboTax expert who beat your price. Adam Devine, tell him how I feel. Hey, tax pro, she's been thinking twice. Best believe TurboTax will beat

This is the Tax Break. Switch to a TurboTax Live Expert and we'll beat what you paid your pro last tax season. Make the switch at TurboTax.com slash beat your price. TurboTax full service only. Sign up by 12-20-20-24 and file by 4-1-20-25. Full details at TurboTax.com slash beat your price. The You Should Know Podcast. Back here, everybody. Welcome back to You Should Know Podcast, episode 94. Round of applause, please.

Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 94. We are back, we are better, and we are beautiful. Thank you so much for coming back to the happiest place on the earth, and that's the You Should Know Podcast, the second episode of the new year. Episode 94, six away from episode 100 in the 100 episode speed.

special. I am so excited for y'all to see that. I'm gonna make this intro quick and short. Tampa tickets, over half the Tampa tickets are sold out. So if you want to come, click the link in the description right now. Tampa, Florida, February 17th at

day after my birthday. And then the after party will be announced once the tickets sell out. So if you want to know when the after party is so you can get your plan situated, how you're going to turn up with the gang for my birthday, then I suggest you get your friends to buy some tickets. And then guess what?

Patreon Koala Club. You get Austin tickets this week. You get to get the Austin tickets this week, Patreon, and that's the benefits of being in the Koala Club. That Austin show is March 1st, the hometown special show. We are so excited to see all y'all in Tampa, Florida, February 17th, and then Austin on March 1st. Let's sell out that Tampa show and then

Austin. I want this to be the fastest selling out show ever. Be on the lookout. Follow me on Instagram at PSHA to know when that comes out. Follow us on Instagram at camkitty22 and follow us on Instagram at youshouldknowpod. I love you so much. Now on to the rest of the episode.

Heineken Zero Zero is an alcohol free option to the original Heineken you love. Cam, you love Heineken. Oh, it tastes so good. Cam, I love Heineken. Oh, you love it. And I love Heineken Zero Zero. It has 100% of the taste, but 0.0% alcohol. That means it's perfect for all the times where you would like a beer, but can't have the alcohol. Dry January is here.

here yeah there's no more waiting there's no more getting prepared we're right in it we are and you know who's gonna help you get through that who heineken i love him you heard us right heineken is gonna get you through dry january because of heineken zero zero cam it's monday you know it's mama lives birthday we're here in the studio we have work to do so we're not doing the whole alcohol thing but we want the amazing taste of a heineken so we're all here cracking the heineken zero zero it's such

a fun time in the middle of the workday. Heineken Zero Zero 100% taste, 0.0% alcohol and only 69 calories. Now you can. Click the link in the description right now and you can buy yourself one. And remember, you must be 21 and up to purchase. Please enjoy Heineken responsibly. Now on to the rest of the episode. - The You Should Know Podcast. - Oh my God!

Hit me! Host cam! I know you wanna... Back in the studio! Ooh, hello. I think I heard your pelvis pop. I don't know what. That was either like a foam... That wasn't my pelvis. Good morning to you. How you doing? Good morning. It is... Hello. Coffee's hot. Guess what? Watch this. Uncle P, how was your week? I got his ass! Finally! Asked him before he asked me, and you see how you're confused and a little bit of a...

Pop and flash! That went wild. I meant to go... I meant to go... Six seconds in. Pop and smoke! Cover up high danger! Cover up high danger. You want to be a Green Beret so bad. What does that mean? Those are the European ones, huh? No? Good morning. I asked you first. Do you think the UK is dangerous? Oh no no! Oh!

You rat bastard. No, you will answer my question. You don't care though. You will feel. Oh, I do. You're trying to check off an agenda right now. You're trying to check off an agenda. God, you need to be a congressman. Whenever you're done, you need to. Oh, cause you're a slithery little serpent snake with your tongue, with words, with words, a thick ass tongue. Yeah. Answer my question.

Oh, how the turntables have turned! The star has been starstruck! I'm not starstruck. I just, it's not coming from an authentic standpoint. Because the way you said it, the way you said it, the way you said it, the way you said it, you sounded like Pee Wee Herman. Pee Wee Herman. And Mr. Rogers mixed in one. Answer my question. And you look like JFK. Answer my question. It was, uh...

How'd that happen? How was that physically possible? That was really impressive, though. That just scared me. My week was fantastic. Short week. That is exactly what I say every single week. But it's not fair. And I get, I get, I get, I'm on the stake. That's not fair. I'm having a wooden stake driven through my heart. There's ginger all over. It's everything. You are a ginger. I'm having a...

The reason that's not fair is because... I don't want stipulations. Because you've done this for 94 weeks in a row where I ask you the same question at the same point and you're stuck at it. You have no improvement. Give me a chance to improve. Okay. And I'm not used to my... That's fine. Week one failed. I'm not used to my longest friend asking about me. Oh. Asking about me. It's because I know...

You know you don't. I know. You don't. Oh, I don't? Mm-mm. All right, Dahmer. No, let me show you something. What'd you do at 2 a.m. last night? I watched School Spirits. Butt naked. With a little Johnny Walker. With a Coke. And you know what you did? What? Cam and Liv just broke into my house. First of all, I didn't even talk to you about this. Hold on, let me take this off real quick. It's very hot. I want you to... I want you to... I went... Okay. Okay.

This is a vulnerable moment for me. I'm very in a fashion now. You're looking at me a little too seductive. I think you're attracted to me. I think you want me. The way you're speaking, and I'm going to see a wink here in a couple minutes, and the upward chin thing, you're feeling yourself, but when you're displaying it onto me, it's making me sweaty and feel slimy. Can I say something? Sure. I'm into fashion. I'm getting more into fashion. My outfits have been stepping up a little bit. Nice haircut, by the way. Thank you. Thank you. Shout out to Brooks.

See you soon. So the fashion has been setting up my, like, my... You're very fashionable, man. My passion for fashion. Oh. My passion for fashion. Okay, Seuss. Hello. My passion for fashion. Cover the shoulder. Don't lick the mic. My passion for fashion. Yes, sit there. Passion for fashion. Cam is a ration. He's got itchy balls. What? Yes. Your passion... My passion...

You know what pisses me off when people hold their nose in the pool? Grow up. Oh, I have to. That's literally me. I swear to God, I have to. I swear to God, I cannot... You scuffed every bit of my shoe. Every cubic inch of my shoe has been scuffed. I swear to God, if I jump in a body of water, I go like this. Like, I have to, dog. I have to. I never learned the push, pout, and breathe. Or the push... The... Push out and soak, whatever. I...

Dude, when we were in the Guatemalan caves, or wherever we... In Cancun. No, but it wasn't Cancun. It doesn't matter. Anyway, we were going through some million-year-old forest or jungle, and I jumped in, and I didn't, because I was afraid of the height, so I did more of like a seagull in the air, like a shot-down bird. So I was going like this. Ugh!

I jump in the water went straight under I swear to God not only did I have a migraine I was coughing for two minutes I knew there was a reason there's something I don't like about you that I couldn't find out literally dude you are a grown man I can't swim underwater I can't swim at all yeah you don't even get in the water so I don't want to hear shit but if I do I don't have to go like this like a four year old because if you do you're standing in two and a half feet and I can still see all of your manhood no don't try to see don't try to I can see your bird chest and I can see your crazy hair don't try to divert this onto me

Because you are 6'7". I... 220, 30 pounds, however you are. And you hold your nose to get into a... And you hold your nose to get into a pool. Yo, that's why your wife doesn't respect you. My wife respects and loves me. Isn't that right? Thank you, baby. I don't respect you because of that. But... I also... I'm not gonna lie. Huh?

Yeah, the whole time I grew up. I had the goggles that had the nose thing I couldn't just have the normal goggles I swear to God for a birthday one year my brother bought me a an elite It was either birthday Christmas something where you receive gifts eating any leap like UV resistance thing of goggles never got to wear them because they didn't have the nose thing never got to use that gift ever and I had asthma oh I was a walking I was a walking liability that pulls insurance claim better been like two million minimum and

Yo, there's like I fell off of a water trampoline one time went under the lake came back up thought my life was over I was like It was bad that's like hey tell me some of your swimming experiences I

Oh. Careful. The room gets cold. Careful. In dark and quiet. Can I talk about my fashion? Let's hear your passion for fashion. Hold those away. Grow up. Golly. Now I don't feel safe with you. Why? Like, normally. If you were in a body of water, your only thing you can pray for is that I'm there with you. That is the only thing.

The only possible outcome. If you fell in a lake in an ocean, you would be screaming my name. I scream your name. You'd be screaming my name for a purpose. I'm talking about like just on the street now with you. There's been times like I feel confident me and Kim will put hands and feet on anybody that walks by right now. But now I'm like this man plugs his nose to get into a pool. Okay, but we're on concrete. There's no need for my plug to be nosed.

Good morning. That's not a sentence. There's no need for my nose to be plucked. Okay, make fun of me. Fashion. Okay, all right. So y'all will tell in the new merch drop, we're working on some designs I haven't even shown y'all, and we're about to get them out. It's going to be limited, the merch drop, right? Very. Because it's like streetwear stuff. It's actually nice. So I've been stepping up my fashion. Now, I've made a very bold fashion choice today. Even I was like, this is a little crazy. It looks completely normal. I don't even know what you're talking about. It looks completely normal. Okay, let's stand up. Audio listeners, go to YouTube. I'm standing up.

Oh, I can already see it. Ezekiel Elliott in the cut, baby. Oh, I don't know. You're stepping on cans. It looks good, though. It does look good.

It does look good. Thank you. It really does though. Stand up again. One more time. Sorry. I'm making you exercise. Probably keep the hands down. Here, just stand normal. Completely normal. That's kind of elite. It shows the underwear a little bit. It's a little sluttish, but outside of that... No, that's the point. It shows the panties and I got good panties on. So you want your panty line to be exposed. Yeah, yeah. Okay, but that's the problem, right? I tried this. This isn't the first time I wore this outfit. Okay. I wore this outfit yesterday. Okay.

and i had and i had a malfunction okay so as you can tell today i had a i have a belt on yesterday i didn't because it looks better without a belt now i had different panties on yesterday but the panties i bought were too loose so they were like i was sagging in my panties they were but below these would sag too yeah the panties were like mid-ass crack your plumber crack

And then these pants are too big. And so I had to come into the studio, right? And I had my bag. I had lunch. So I was both hands full. I was walking down the hallway. My whole ass was out. I swear to God. Dude, I was walking by corporate offices of lawyers. And my ass was out. And it was hairy and cold. Oh, imagine you drop your keys or something. You just bend over. Just give them a Thanksgiving celebration. You know how we have to unlock the door? We have to do it from under? Bro, my shit was breathing, though.

Watch it was going so I was winking at some way somebody was like that's saying hello to me That little just wink at me. That's way too visual Well, but okay, but when's the last time since you did it before that? What do you what does that mean? What the hell? What question was that? I know you didn't because What are you asking me dog? The last time you've done that was the first That you chose to Hey give context to your thing. What is this? And what is that the crop?

That's the first time I've done this? No, but why was the second time now and not afterwards? Dude, this doesn't make sense. The first time that you decided to do that. The crop. Yes. When was it and why was the second time now and not after that? Before. I don't care about you, dog. I don't want you to speak. You're going to go on Indeed one day and see your job.

Ask. Say it. Answer it. It's not a question. You're not asking me anything. Answer it. Okay. Yes. I don't know what you're asking me, dog. I don't know. I wore this the first time yesterday for the Cropped. It's the first time I've ever done it. Oh, okay. Never mind. And this was the second time. Does that answer your question? I thought there was one before that you did it but stopped. Okay. You're pissing me off, dog, and I might hit you. I'm so glad we don't have an HR. That's the thing I was saying.

I said I was just going to mumble and say f***ing shit and see how you feel. Did she know? No. Oh, because she was looking at me like she was like, you know what? She probably knew what I was doing. I wanted to see how you were going to react. No, see, Liv cares about you. So she's like, babe, what? I'm like, bro, I don't give a hell. But her shit was from a whole different room. It's easier. I just said that to your bird. Yeah, straight to you. I have a question for you. We should do that to people.

Confuse them? I think I do every single week. Okay, questions. There's like, okay, speaking of, I went on TikTok, right? And I know how the internet works. That's why we're good at our jobs. I know how the internet works.

I changed my algorithm on TikTok. Okay. I just had a stroke. Did you hear it? There's a lot of M's. I think my questions are still ringing in your insides. So I changed my algorithm on TikTok to where it was just like... Because we have a lot of fake accounts on TikTok. Hundreds of thousands. Hundreds of thousands of fake accounts. Which is fine. Do what you want to do. I don't care. That post clips and stuff. And so I wanted to see the reception of those clips from when they posted to when we posted. And I was going through the comments and...

I would say 90% of the comments on those videos wish I would get hit by a truck. Oh, yeah. They hate you. People hate you. It's so sad. They don't know you. They think I'm playing a character. They don't know you. The fact that I was the same kid who was drinking bathtub water.

They don't know the thought. He was lining a gallon jug with a bathtub. That is federal. I flooded Liv's grandpa's bath. And used 10-year-old decorative sacred towels to clean it. And he never told us. Okay, but I would sit in the corner, 2XL black hoodies on. Couldn't even see his eyes. He thought he was a Sith Lord. I drove through a tornado dock.

Like, this is me. That's what I'm saying. If you don't understand at this point, I do love it, though, because, like, that's, like, the number one thing people ask when they see us. Yeah. They're like, dude, are you, like, is that, like, are you? Yeah. And you're just like, yeah. Yeah. Like, it is. You're like, it makes me feel better. Yeah. Oh, it makes me feel so good when people think that I'm not being real because it makes me feel like, oh, they think I'm a cool guy. Yeah. But, okay. But I want to do, I do want to shout out.

Not the people that are hating me. I want to shout out to people. There's these fan accounts. There's these Peyton fan accounts. And I just want to say this, and you know who I'm talking to. Shout out to all the Peyton girlies out there. I love y'all. Y'all are the best. They make these edits of me on TikTok. They're so nice. A little sexual sometimes. Like, sometimes I'll be, like, fixing my crotch, and then they just slow it down. And I'll be like this. And I'm like, all right, dog. My mom's on this app. Come on, bro. All right.

Oh! Good morning to you. How are we feeling? Oh, there's a side quest. There's a secret quest. Secret quest? What the fuck? What happened? You need help. The You Should Know Podcast.

The Usain Hope Podcast is brought to you by BetterHelp. Around New Year's, we get obsessed with how to change ourselves instead of just expanding on what we're already doing right. Maybe you finally organized one part of your space and you want to tackle another. Or maybe you're taking your supplements every morning and now you want to actually eat breakfast too. Therapy helps you find your strength so you can ditch the extreme resolutions and make changes that really stick.

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BetterHelp.com slash YSK. Let's take care of ourselves in the new year camp. Promise to take care of yourself. 100%. Peyton, do you promise to take care of yourself? Yes, YSK family, you promise? We all promise. BetterHelp.com slash YSK. 10% off your first month. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. God, you need another belt. What'd I do? Bro. What did you not do? What'd you do? I humped it. Why did you get afraid of opening your can and then hock-a-loo-hee? You are... What's your side quest?

What's your side quest? There's a side quest out there in the TikTok realm. And if you finish it, you get 50 elixir of you. I don't know what you just said. Did you ever have fun? What did you do as a kid? Go outside. You talk to yourself, go outside, climb trees with your little tail, get your little raccoon friends and think you're all just a big tribe. Little pack, hunt little gerbils and squirrels, pick nuts and eat them. What else did you do? I...

I do. This is what I used to do. Didn't swim. There was a girl named Megan and Abigail that were my neighbors, and we had school together, and we'd ride bicycles together. One day, Abigail bit my hand right here, and there's still a scar, and my mom tried to go to her house. Did you just, like, slide the most golden nugget I've ever heard into that conversation? What? A girl bit your hand? Yeah, right here. It's a scar. You see that scar? She bit the shit out of a boy. She had some chompers, didn't she, boy? She was...

Oh, I forgot it until just now. You pulled that out of nothing. Yeah, it's just my brain sometimes. What was the side quest for 50 elixirs? How many elixirs do I get? 50 elixir. Hello. 50 elixir. There is this national treasure finding.

of your relationship status. Oh my God, dude. There is an absolute, like, underground Vatican City, like, tribal quest going on to know if this man is solo, to know if he's dolo, to know who, to know what. They want to know if I have a girlfriend. Bro. But it, oh, no, no, no, no. Saying that downgrades it so much. If there was just comments that said,

Does he have a girlfriend? Yeah. That'd be one thing. There's, I've literally seen comments. He used to date this girl three years ago, but then something happened. I couldn't quite tell you, but now he's currently single, but he also has this on. I'm like, say,

Say, how do y'all find that out? Do you hire PIs? But this is the thing. I kind of want to keep it going. Because y'all posted a TikTok the other day, and it was like... Liv posted a TikTok. We just watched the movie. There was more comments asking about his relationship status than it was the context of the video. No, you know what? One of the top searches on TikTok is like, who's Peyton's girlfriend? That's why I would never say, but I don't know if I have one. Oh, I was about to say, you outed yourself. I don't. I know.

Or do I? Or do you? Okay, I haven't quite spoken to girlfriends, right? Count Dracula. And you think I'm... Okay. Honestly, Cam. Honestly, Cam. Breathe. Am I an objectively attractive man? Yes. So you think I'm pretty? Yes. Alright. What? Oh, fuck. Oh, good morning. No, I'm not getting any closer to you. You... Dude. There's something in there, John. You are diabolical.

I don't know another person that can look at another man and say, do you think I'm pretty? The man answers yes. Smiles and then like, God, we're too close. Isn't it crazy? Your price is way too high. You need to. Okay, sorry, sorry. Okay, so I'm an objectively pretty man to you. Do you think I'm pretty? You're very attractive.

Don't start something you can't finish. Okay, now honestly, I'm like deadass, honestly. Stop. Deadass, honestly. Yes. I'm about to ask you a question. Yes. Dude, you stink, bro. You stink. Damn it. Where's the Febreze? Honestly, I got a question. I got a question, honestly. Ask it. Fucking breathe.

BREATHE! Close your asshole, open your lungs, get a couple deep ones, get some circadian rhythm going, and breathe. What's with you and all these ancient words? And now why would you do that? Now why would- Fucking drive by. Did you just fart again?! CLOSE YOUR ASS! I just heard it again!

We gotta move fast. We're already 10 minutes, 20 minutes in. Then close your ass. Okay, we haven't talked about nothing yet. Alright. Honestly, I got a question, right? Yeah. Okay, honestly. Dude, I swear to God if you say honestly one more time, I'm punching you. Because I want you to be honest. If I was a girl, alright? This is already weird. I just saw spit bubble in your mouth. If I was a girl. Okay. You're single.

And I was a girl. Please cover your mouth. Just please cover your mouth when you're talking. I can't not look at it. I'm trying my hardest. Your wrist is gimp. Just go, go, go, go, go. I swear. Just go like this. Just do this for me. Please. It'll make everything a lot better. Just do this. Okay, go. No, I can't. I can't. Look at my eyes. If I was a girl, right? And you're single. If you were. And if I was a girl. We were at a club together. Okay.

You're a couple shots in, maybe three, four shots in. You got that part where your lips tingle a little bit. Your ears are a little numb. I think I know every word, but I'm so off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I come up to you. Okay. I'm getting it. I have long curly hair. And you know how I got a little cute muscle ass? You know what I mean? I still got that. But I'm in a tight dress. And I come up to you. And I said, will you come home with me?

Golly. That's your opener? Don't just say you got there. Okay, it gets there. What's your name? And I'm funny. Patina. Paulina. Peyton is a girl name. Just spell it different. Okay. What would you say? Would you entertain a date with me? Are you still six foot seven? No, I'm six foot. Say I'm six foot. I'm a tall girl. I'm six foot. Are you wearing flats or heels? Heels. Why I sell red bottoms. What color is the dress? Black. Curly hair. Gold or silver accents? Gold. Jewelry? Gold.

And your hair is curled? Yeah. Damn it! Same! And I came up to you and I whispered in your ear. Are your eyelashes done? Do you have eyelashes? I look great. Do you know how pretty I am? I'm that pretty just as a girl. Okay, but like super dark contour or not? Like it's like... I don't know contours. Okay. I'm making it in my mind. Yes or no, would you go on a date with me if I asked you? Did you say flats or heels? Heels. It's hard. Good calves. Good calves too. Little muscle butt. Do you still have your teeth? Yeah. So a little yellow.

We can get white things for you, so it doesn't matter. Okay, okay. Would you? I promise. He can't want to be, dog. I just got all... No, no, the saddest part of the whole thing, I swear to God, if I was a girl, he would f***ing hate me. I swear, if I was a girl, I'd have no shot with him. Get the f*** out of this section. Who brought her up here? I was like, where's the security at? Why'd they let her up here? Oh, if I... Dude, I think I'd be ugly as a girl. You're attractive, man.

You would not be, I can translate well to a girl because I'm like a soft. It depends on my hair though. But you're like a man pretty, you know what I mean? Like he's like, looks like a man, you know what I mean? Like he's just a man and he's pretty. I'm just, I'm like a little like. The way you described your female self was on point though. It was solid. A little relaxed. You painted a good picture, it was good. Okay, you take some hymns or something? What, like was it club or bar vibe? Club. You're in a section.

And I just jumped from somebody else's section. That, I'd say no. No, I know. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. It was just like a nice little, we make eye contact like 17 feet away and then you approach. Speaking of my teeth, right? Speaking of my teeth, we talk about my teeth a lot. But I'm having like a revolving storyline with my teeth right now. I wake up in the morning. I don't know if it's from my mouth. So, I don't know. But I think, after deductive reasoning, I woke up the other morning and the first thing I smelled in the morning was blood. Right?

I was like, yo, I went like this. I said, did I get shot in my sleep? What if? What if you literally were stabbed? You woke up and there's just a small butter knife in your spleen. If I woke up and it was still in you, I would be like, I'm the strongest man ever. If I woke up and I didn't wake up to being like knowing I was stabbed. That's the difference between you and me. What? I would immediately grab my phone and call 911. Oh, you're a snitch.

Because I get stabbed in my... You got to find out who it was. Exactly. I'm calling 911. No, so you can go do something to him. No, because if it ends up being Liv, I'd kill her right on the spot and I don't want to. I'd much rather her just go to jail. Okay, this is a question about, oh, married couples. God, I don't know if I should wait until she comes on or not. No, I'm going to ask you without her on. Okay. Have you ever had a moment of like, did she poison this chicken? I know a lot of married couples that they've been like, it's such a rut that they've been like, she's trying to kill me. I definitely don't think she's ever tried to kill me. But have you ever questioned like, oh, she might...

No, I could see her doing some stupid shit like that, but I'm so superior intellectually. Oh, my God. No, she's definitely... I don't think she's ever tried to kill me, but she could. You think she could? But it doesn't even matter because I'm so intellectually superior to Olivia. That sounds crazy and rude, and I'm so sorry. But I would be... I'm four steps ahead of her, 100%. She tries to poison the chicken. The tea she just drank has been poisoned for two weeks. I have a question for you. If you had to sneakily, in my existence... Mm-hmm. How would you do it?

How do you think you'd go about it? It'd be so simple. It'd be so simple. How? There's nothing sneak about it. Okay. My sneak approach would be I'd literally show up. Hey, he lives out with her friends. Let's drink and play UFC. Yeah. The second you turn your back to go upstairs, I stab you nine times. No, but you're like, okay, Jesus, Dahmer. I'm talking about like you have to think out of process. That is out of process. No, like a sneakily way. It's not brute. Not a brute way of killing. Not a brute way of ending me.

Oh, easy. I pour two glasses of Johnny Walker Black Label and I just drop cyanide in yours. As soon as you taste it and you go, oh, this doesn't taste weird. I'm like, bro, it's because you're not sober enough. Just kill it. Bam. Have you thought about it? If you don't do that, then I'd go to step two. What's step two? I'm going to use the bathroom. As soon as I get behind the couch, I strangle you. We need to go to couples therapy. You know what mine would be?

Let's hear it. I would order a pizza at my house, right? I would take half of it, scramble up some pieces around, rip the crust off, leave it in the box, make it look like I've eaten it. And I'd poison the pizza. And I know your little raccoon ass would be like, can I get some slices? I would definitely eat that pizza. Okay. Now that's solid. I would never see that coming. Yeah, I know. We should train with John Wick. Excuse me? We should call up Keanu Reeves. I know him. No, you don't. And say, can you make us you in that film? Yeah.

What? Can you make us you in that film? Can I break your heart real quick? He's not like that in real life. That's a movie with cameras and multi-million dollar budgets with a lot of effects. He's very cool and good though. He is cool. He is cool. They took his dog. He took their souls. Okay. I would do that for Malcolm. Would you do that for Ruby?

What? There's an ongoing thing that you don't love your dog. I saw that in the TikTok comments too. I love Ruby so much, but I'm not going to kill a human being. If they killed your dog? I mean, okay, if it's like anything accidental, never in a million years. I asked you that. You said you don't even know if you'd forgive me if I accidentally ran over your dog. No, no, no, that's you. And I said if it's accidental. You said you don't know if you'd get over it. Because it depends on the scenario. I ran her over. But why is she outside?

If she was with you on your watch and you chose to let her run around out on a beach and you get in your car without picking my dog up, she's still in the road, and then you run her over? Yeah. Part of me thinks, like, how much of that can be an accident? Okay, this is a scenario. How much is coincidence? This is a scenario. You have to die. I'm walking her outside, right? I'm walking her outside. Okay. And my car is parked in a parking spot and not in my garage. And I'm like, oh, shit, I need to move there real quick. I'm like, Ruby, just stay in that grass real quick over there. Horrible uncle. I know, bad. And I go in the car and I go to put it in my garage. There's a speed bump. It happens to be Ruby's skull.

You don't know if you can forgive me? No. Absolutely. That's unforgivable. You would ruin ten years of friendship? That is unforgivable. That's so sad, bro. It is sad, dumbass. It's an accident. I didn't mean to. Don't leave the cute little alien sitting in the grass. Don't leave her there. Pick her up. She's eight pounds. Pick her up. Tuck her. Tuck her like a football. Get into that parking spot. Boom. But I don't want her on my white seats. Of course you don't. Or on your black shirt because she might shed a little bit. Did I get robbed? Where's my Red Bull? The You Should Know Podcast.

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What's the fastest place that you change your clothes? What does that mean? In what scenario or what place do you change the fastest? Oh, that's a great question. Because I found out mine. I never knew what it was until three days ago. Where do you do it? I need to hear your answer first. Fastest place I change my clothes. I don't know where at, but I know the circumstance if I hear somebody. If there's people around me. Oh my God, what? You know what I mean? When is there ever people around you that you would be changing and not in your own home? The fitting room.

But you're in your own room. No, but that's still, if there's outside, because I'm always trying. You think people are going to peek on you? Oh my God. That's a real fear of yours? No, not even that. Somebody's just going to come.

Good morning. No, like somebody's just getting like, that's vulnerable, bro. How is that vulnerable? You're also the guy, I guarantee when you poop in public, like you're playing shit on your phone, aren't you? If you had to poop in public. Oh, yeah. I'm playing music or something. Y'all are all going to listen to The Weeknd. That's so insecure. You're just a, you're an animal, dog. That's so insecure. I have to poop. This thing's made to poop. I'm pooping. We got to stop talking about poop. Yeah, we do. You're like, you bandage up the thing. You double bolt the door. Yeah. Throw the coat over so they can't peek. Playing songs out loud. Oh my God.

That happened the other day. I was at a bar or a restaurant or something and I went to the restroom and the stalls were before the urinals. And the stall door... That's weird as hell. I know. Strange. That is illegal. It was like a European style place. I don't know what was going on. That is illegal. And there were stalls before the urinals. Okay. And I was walking past the stalls and something about my eye, my peripheral, peeked over and

Pure eye contact. And there was too much gap in between the door and like that wall. And I literally saw a man. I don't know why he was doing this. He was on the bathroom pooping, right? But he was just looking for it. And I made eye contact with him through the thing. And I walked out of that. I was like, I'm not peeing today here. I'll pee outside before I pee here. I made eye contact with a shitting man. He was just

And he had nice blue eyes, bald guy. Okay. So you took a gander. It's like you took a whole look. I can process things fast. Give me something to process. What shirt's behind you? Ronathon. Nope. Anyway. Yeah. I found out where I changed clothes the fastest. Where? I don't know why, but I'm talking. I scurry through that bitch. What do you mean? Anytime I get a massage. When they say, all right, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm talking. You'd think it's like I have 60 seconds to get butt ass naked. She closes the door. I'm literally like.

Like I'm going through I don't know why I'm so nervous because they knock before they come in but I literally like I untuck the sheet I'm throwing all this shit taking my jewelry off and I just get in there and I just nest and I feel like That's probably the most vulnerable I feel ever and I don't know why dude it I mean because I don't even get all the way naked Meaning you but that's the thing. I get less naked than you I keep my socks on my drawers What did you just say? I keep my socks on in a massage. Don't look at my feet

Olivia, you keep your socks on. I keep my socks on for everything. You know what I mean? You keep your socks on for a massage. My first massage ever, I kept my shoes on too. Socks, shoes, and then underwear. I literally have a toe that looks like I walked through Chernobyl and I let them oil that son of a bitch up. You don't care about people. And go to work. You don't care about service people. No, I'm going to tip you because you rub my feet. If you go to my feet and I hear, oh, it's like a

of one thing on my plantar fasciitis, then no, your tip decreased. But if you accept your profession and you accept me as a loving client and you go to work, you're getting tipped. There's something about me in 2024 that I've realized. So do you get pedicures at all? Oh, I have, but they always... This is a dangerous topic. I know they're talking about me. I know they are. And they know...

Like one of them, I'm not gonna do the accent because that's not right, but one of them said long nails to their friend and I was like, come on man. Come on dog. Come on dog. You signed up for this. I thought that ever since I got my first pet dog. I was like, they're 100% talking shit about my foot right now. Have you ever had more than one working on you at the same time? Only once. Dude, it was magical. Hey look, he made me mad. You had three people working on your feet. I had one on the left foot, one on the right foot, and a spotter. She's like, she's like, head down! She's like, go, go, go!

Oh, a spotter for a pedicure is madness. I have nasty feet. Your feet aren't even that bad. The nails are bad. They're long as shit. Your nails curl and they're white. Yeah, my toenail is like a helmet. Yeah, you got...

My toenails are like hell in there. You got a macchiato down there. But okay, in 2020... What did you just look at? I don't know. I was checking. Checking what? I'm afraid somebody's here. Like, dude, you do not do that. No. Okay, have you noticed in my new house I always have a knife near me? Yes. Like a butcher knife. Yeah, you need better defense system than a pizza cutter. Like, you're sitting there with...

Okay, but I'm so paranoid now. You saw me just check over my shoulder to see if somebody was right here. Yeah, into a corner. The likelihood of that happening? Zero. Okay, but at my house, right? My house is big and scary, and I'm alone, and it's quiet. You need to get like a doggy gate, even though you don't have a dog. Why? That's not going to stop somebody. It can definitely deter them. You can hear it. Or they can just go, okay, step over that. But to step over it would be a loud step. Are you Metalfoot? Metalfoot?

No, I'm saying, but I'll be like at my house, right? I was watching Netflix two in the morning and I'll hear my ice machine go and I'll just get up naked, grab a knife and just like, like scour the whole house. What? What? Say it. Say it. Say it, bro. I don't know what it is. I just looked at you and started laughing. I thought you respect me. No, I do respect you. I love you. Okay. I have a question for you though. Okay. Okay. 2024. I don't know what, come on, dog. This sucks. This sucks.

2024 2024 I don't know I really don't I can't even I can't put into words bro I don't know I'm kind of believing those I really don't know alright I promise I'm good we can't say statements like that those are the statements that just go into it 2024 you have a question for me bitch I'm trying go in 2024 yes now you're going damn it I'm good alright shut up

In 2024, I've had this thing where like a lot of shit's been bothering me. So I want to know. I want to know. In 2024, I don't know what's been going on with me, but I've had a problem with a lot of like things. Bro, we're like a weekend. Relax. I've been upset recently. I don't know why. So I want to air out some grievances. I want to get out some more pet peeves.

Seven days into the new year and he's just fed up. All right, my first pet peeve, we've addressed it earlier. I hate people that hold their nose in the pool. When you're jumping into a pool, don't hold your nose. Grow up a little bit. Hold your breath like a human. You know what I mean? What are we doing? Bro, that's a sensitive thing for people. My nose health. For six-year-olds. And ability to keep water out. I guess I just wasn't born with that gene. So wait, you can't hold your breath? Yes, I can hold my breath. If I go like this...

And jump in a body of water. It is a canal that just goes. Why do you do all that? Just go. Yeah, there you go. Game over. No, it knows water goes through. Second pet peeve. Second pet peeve. You ready? Wet doorknobs. Bro. You've never grabbed a wet doorknob. It had some difficult. Bro. If I'm like, you ever have to go. If I get to the point where I'm going with one cloth on the thing. That's bullshit. I'm going to kick this bitch down. Fix your establishment. Oh my God. Piggybacking on the bathroom. Okay.

Not having paper towels. If you only have the air cannons, the air dryers, what are you doing? Oh, not only is that dirty, but it's like my table of six can hear me drying my hands and now they have the chance to judge me if I didn't dry long enough. That's bullshit. That's absolute bullshit. I got it. Okay. Another one. Oh my God. Cam, please tell me you agree with me on this. When you ask somebody, hey, guess how much this is or guess this number and they go astronomically above the number.

Don't do that. Oh My god, that is like immediately ruining my time dude. It could be on cloud nine having the greatest time ever I'm like dude guess how much this drink was it was ridiculous. They go $80 and I go I want to fight you. It's like hey bro go home. Yeah, I'm going home. I'm done You can enjoy this you've ruined this night. Oh my god. That's probably you you have never you've probably never said something That has landed so at home for me. Thank you

Cuz I'm one to long wind a story and I give a lot of details. Oh, I know. And if I get to my thing then I'm asking for a damn price and you- Dude, this car, it's such an expensive car. I saw, guess how much it is. They're like, three million. Yeah, I'm like- And I go, you son of a bitch. Yeah, bro. Oh my god. That is too true. That is too true. Um, okay. This might be a stretch. Alright. Sometimes you do this to me. Of course. You bring it on to me. I've never told you about it, but it does irk me. Okay.

People that have a conversation that can't remain eye contact. It's like you're afraid of something. Or you literally don't give a shit about what I'm saying. It's one of the two. And I think it's the latter. You'll literally be like this. You'll take half second glances at me. Just talk to me about anything. And I'm going to show you you. I'm going to do it straight to the camera. You're like this. Bro, so at this basketball game I went to, bro, they had this one. It's like peaks, bro. It's like...

It's like we're in the animal kingdom and you're like showing respect, but you're not. No, this is the thing. You don't give a shit what I'm saying. Let me explain. It's too intimate. Oh my God. It's too intimate. Do you ever feel that? It always happens when we're at restaurants together. I know what you're talking about. Stop. Exactly. No, but it's an anxiety and insecurities thing. Of course it is.

Of course it is. No, okay. So, that's why this happens with us and our friends a lot. And I hope they don't notice it. They do. We all do. So, if I'm talking to somebody, right? And we're just having a normal conversation, but it's like a good convo. I can't look at you in the eyes for too long because I think we're... Is that what you want?

Your brain needs to be cleansed. It needs to be rewired, if that's what you're thinking. It's like, bro, are you flirting with me, dog? No. Also, on the other side of the spectrum, if it's like unbreaking eye contact... Bro, you do that shit to me. No, I do not. You're like this. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you gotta... Because I'm trying to get you up to par. Like, you have a key burn. I'm like...

It's literally like just tracking me face to face. You're like those Nike commercials that stay on the head whenever they're running. Oh, with the ball? That shit is sick. But no, I am trying to just get maybe two seconds. Give me two seconds. It'll change your life. You give me .4 seconds. You literally go, yeah, no, bro, no, that team wasn't even the best. No, this is how I do it. This is how I mask it. I don't have my phone.

This is how I mask it. So say this is my phone, right? Where's your phone? I don't know. I asked you to bring it to me. It's right here. So say I'm on my phone, right? Or say like we're having a conversation and I have my phone on me. I've learned how to mask it. I'll go like this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how disrespectful is that? Is it? That is highly disrespectful. Really? Tell me something important to you. My grandma died of cancer. All right. What? Keep going. Oh, okay.

I've been having a real tough time, bro. Things have gotten dark. No, that's not right. That's not right. You're exaggerating. Wait, for real, bro? There's always light at the end of the tunnel. It's like you fucking... No, let's practice. You Hallmark card. Let's practice. You're saying the most bullshit things. Let's practice eye contact conversations right now. Okay.

Me or you? Me, there's not much to practice. You're like level one code girls. Okay, but don't be a... You just walked into the practice facility for the first time. You're looking at it. It's gorgeous. Oh, this is where they work on it. Okay, but don't be too much. Alright, go. Do like how you normally will do. Alright. A, P.

Your fucking eyes are closed. Half a second in. You're so disrespectful. Okay, but let me try my way and then you try yours. Okay. All right. Hey, P. Hey, what's up, bro? Hey, Zara has this crazy sale right now. I'm trying to go buy a couple coats because I think they're all marked down. Zara? Which one? The one in the mall we always go to. Oh, sick. Conversation over. Did that hurt your feelings? That literally felt like you could give a shit if I walked off a cliff. Not even jump. Just walked right off the cliff.

Like that's how I can literally go, "Hey, I'm gonna go now." And you're just like, "Oh, really? Go where?" And I go, "Ah!" And I just fall. And I'm off the cliff. And then I'd be like, and you go, "Damn, where is he?" No, okay. But I have two options. That's my first go-to is my phone. The second option, I have a look around. Say we're at a bar.

Oh my God. Have you noticed that one? The option two is clearly, option one, I know what you're doing and it irks me to my core. I'm not going to try to change you because you can't change anybody. But option two is where I have never been closer to just uppercutting you because it is like, holy shit, you said let's go here. You said let's sit here. You said let's order those. And I'm just, I'm hype, like eight out of 10. All I need is the conversation and I'm there. 10 out of 10 perfect night. You're making me uncomfortable. You're making me uncomfortable.

You're asking for everything that's been done and I asked for one thing just conversation. I'm talking to you You just look at all right. Let's practice it see if you see if the people actually think it's that bad. They were at a bar Yeah, and this villain get to get to get a Heineken zero zero all right, so say we're at a bar right? Oh, thanks, man This is actually how I do it like I'm not exaggerating all right good all right talk. You know I'm not sorry to come

Bro, wait. So, wait. How did you hear about this place? Bro, this, like... I heard it was built, like, in, like, 1989. I asked the question. I asked it. I'm right here. No, I was showing you the stairs. Yeah, I heard this place was built in, like, 1989, bro. There's, like, plaques of all the people that were here and stuff. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Okay. Hey, what are you looking forward to most when you get back home? Honestly, I think seeing the family and stuff. What are you doing? You okay? It's...

Just look at me. That's all you have to do. Face your fear. Fear means one of two things. I forgot. I know one of them. Thanks, coach. One's, uh, uh, uh, uh. It's like, uh...

Damn it! Great. I forgot them. One of them's like, freak out and run and one's face everything and rise. Okay, now I'm going to try to actually do your way. Okay. But you're looking at me like you're a fucking cop, dawg. Freeze! That's a cop. It's a little too good. Okay, here we go. I am sincere with you. I care about what's coming out of your mouth. That's why I'm looking at you. Because I love you.

You are so out of tune. You can't even look at me now! I love you, and you need to hear it more often, and I know you love me. As a matter of fact, I want you to say that more often. Did you just whisper? You whispered it at a level one, and you didn't look at me. Bro, you're so out of tune. I'm not good with it. It could literally be my funeral. He's gonna be like this. He was a cool man, bro. Okay, let's practice. We had a great run. Alright, let's practice your way. No, I can't right now. I'm literally at Cam's funeral right now.

Alright, I'll see you in like 10 minutes. Alright, let's practice your way then. Okay. Go. I'm not starting a comp. Alright. Where are we? We're in LA. Where? Bro, LA is so fun. Hey, dude, Saddle Ranch? I love coming to Saddle Ranch. It's so fun. Saddle Ranch. We're at Saddle Ranch. Can't you see it because the bull's right there? Your eye's twitching. What the f*** is wrong with you? What's going on? Just give me a second. Okay. Okay, here we go.

Bro, I just like, bro, I totally, why'd you scream, bro? I totally just like finished my first beer. Are you good now? You feel better? I didn't mean to upset you. What happened? Wait, what? You made me mad. It's like, it's literally, it's like you're, it's like you're like seven months old. It's like you can't choose to look and talk. It's one or the other. You either look at someone and then your mouth just goes, blah, blah, blah. Or you talk and you can't look at them. And you call me the little kid because I plug my nose. Is that what we do at the end of a breakfast?

I'm going to hire a speech coach. I'm going to hire a speech coach. I had a speech coach for my speech impediment. I can believe that. That was so embarrassing in elementary school getting pulled out of class because of my lips. That's... There'd be kids. Oh, I was the worst kid ever. Oh, my God. There'd be kids. Whenever I got pulled out, they'd be like this. And they'd go, stop checking your shoulders. You did it again, and I saw you. No one's in here. No one's in here. Would you protect me? Yes, I'd protect you. Can you talk and look? Yeah. Yeah.

You say you're the worst kid ever. Why? You made fun of people that got pulled out of class? No, I was in GT, so I thought I was hot shit. Oh, I remember we talked about this. So when I got pulled out for GT, I would intentionally go back and sharpen my pencil and be like... I think that's one thing you lacked as a kid. What? Getting your ass whooped. You need that. I had one threatening moment. Yeah, I remember. The scooter? No, no, no. Another one. It was threatening. I fled. Yeah, Cam. Viewer retention. I was just going...

You're not going to say the story? Oh, no. You didn't ask for it. I didn't. Hey, guys. It's not a good story. I get a lot of DMs. Indeed, it's coming. It's not a good story. Indeed, it's coming. Oh, my God. I have something to tell you. I had the wildest text in my family group message. Are you sure you can even put this on the air? Your family group message is...

Not safe for work. NSFW. No, if that gets leaked, we're all going to jail. If that gets leaked, we're all going under the jail. I've got a couple good peeks from you just being generous enough to include me in it. There's some hilarious content. So...

In the family group message, we have like a regular family group message, which is my mom, my dad, my brother, and me. And there's an extended one with my aunt Shelly in it, right? Okay. It's never used. We never really use that one. That's mean. No, it's just like we'll see each other when we see each other. It's like we can't be as vulgar in that one. Yeah, okay. And we're just naturally vulgar people and weird.

You see me? So I get a text message from my aunt in this group message that we never use. And I was like, oh, it has to be something important. Like that's normally where news is shared. Right? Events, dates. You know when you get a text alert, it has like a little attachment one image and it has a little brief thing if they send another text. Oh, yeah. A little brief summary, like first line. I see attachment one image from Aunt Shelly. The second text, it says, meet Roji.

And I said, now, if I remember correctly, my Aunt Shelly's not pregnant. She didn't have a kid. She has a dog. Right? I was like, who's Roji? I open up the family group message. She says, meet Roji, a baby kangaroo. My Aunt Shelly got a baby kangaroo. What? In Austin, Texas. Now, I don't know if that's legal. That's not. So not.

That motherfucker is big, dawg. Bro, what? My aunt Shelly, I'm gonna put the image on his screen. She's like a bounty hunter for animals. That's a big ass kangaroo. Did you import that? There's gonna be an investigation. I'm gonna blur her face so she doesn't get in trouble. What the hell? Yeah, my aunt Shelly got a baby kangaroo. Insane. That's the worst name. You get Roji? Give her a better name. Oh, we have to meet him.

Oh my God, we have to meet him. Oh my God, we have to meet him. Roji. Holy shit. Where does one buy a kangaroo? Her cousin. What the hell does that mean? Her friend's cousin has a rescue ranch. And she got it from there. A rescue ranch? Yeah, she has to... Not a rescue land down under. I fell in love with her. She has to stay on her pouch for five months. So it's a she. And bottle fed. But then...

I said, I'm interested. Dude, if you get a kangaroo... No, I said, do they have koalas? Chlamydia. He has different chlamydia, though. He has different chlamydia. He just says, no, kangaroos are very... She said, no, they don't have koalas. They have kangaroos because kangaroos are very common in Texas.

That's not a real thing. No, it's not, Aunt Shelly. It says the environment is very similar to Australia. Okay, I can see that. Australia is dry, hot. I mean, not like scorching, but dry, hot. I've been to Aunt Shelly's house, right? It's a one-story house with a regular suburban backyard. Where's that kangaroo going to live? Yeah. Dude, my thing is, what happens when it even gets half-sized? Imagine a full-grown kangaroo. Imagine you go to your aunt's house. You open the door.

Just right- straight off the board. Imagine that shit, bro. I'm like, "Ruji!" Yeah. Just takes the piss out of you. You would never-

And she has a dog. Dude, she's going to kill your aunt. That kangaroo is going to kick your aunt in the head. And she's going to die. No, tell her to get rid of it. Tell her to get rid of it. She's going to die. Oh, my God. One kick is going to send your aunt into cardiac arrest. Holy shit. I didn't even think about that. That's so dangerous. And she has a dog that's literally the size of this, too. That's gone. That's gone. That's either going to stop. What's Roji going to do? He's going to be like, oh, my bad. Thumb me up. What's Roji going to do? Roji, hey, puppy. Oh, I missed.

Wait, no, a little further out. Hey, what's Roji gonna do? Roji's gonna go red. Kick the shit out that dog. He's gonna kick the... Or he's gonna do this. First off, it's a she. Roji? That's flattering for a girl. Pick any other name. Why not Cynthia? Isabel? Something. Roji? Roji's gonna be like this, that dog. He's gonna be bouncing shit and he's gonna go... Put it in the headlock like he did that one day. And Shelly's gonna be like, Roji, no. Okay. Okay.

The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Babbel, fast forward to the end of 2024. Okay. Think about your goals. All right. What can you do right now to give yourself the best chance of succeeding? Oh. If you want to learn a new language...

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Okay, actually, time out. We just took a break for legal reasons. I texted my aunt Shelly. I was like, are you sure you bought that? And she goes, no, I went and visited it at the rescue ranch. So she didn't buy it. So for all the animal people that are about to come after my aunt, she does not have it in a suburban house in the middle of Austin, Texas. Did she use blockchain to purchase it? Like, how does that...

Oh my god, my mind went... I would buy a monkey like that, though. Oh my god, don't tell me to be careful. Monkeys are adorable. The cute little baby ones. Oh my god. I wouldn't want the jumping little bastard that was going crazy in the bathroom. No, no, that's too much. Give me like a Caesar. Not a Coba. Caesar. Good little chimp. Give me like a...

Like a medium chimp. I want a monkey that can get the size of about Ruby, but that's not like sporadic. Yes. Even that. That's way better. Like an extra small, like a little baby monkey that's not flying. I can put that little jaw in my back pocket. No, don't wink at me. And no, you'd put them on your shoulder. My mom said she went to a dinner back in the 80s or some shit. I don't know. She went to a dinner and there was a thing that a monkey would come and light your cigarette for you. And if you did, you'd tip him a coin. He would throw his top hat. You put the coin in and put it back on his head.

Could you imagine? You go. He's just like. He goes. You give him a coin. He goes. Put that bitch back on. Oh, bro. Ruby's legs are getting bad, man. What? Do you ever, like, this is an honest question. And I don't know if I'm alone on this. Do you ever realize you haven't taken a breath in, like, an abnormally long amount of time? Like, I just realized I didn't, like, exhale for, like, almost a minute. Like, dude.

It's one of two things. I'm dead serious. It's one of two things. Your brain is either working so fast, so like lightning fast, and then you finally slow down, or your brain is like the slowest ever. No one, I think I've gone nine months without thinking about the fact that I'm even breathing. Really? And the last time was when I had to plug my nose to jump in the water, body water. Like it's, I never just go, okay, I'm

No, it's never like that. Oh my God. That'd be the type of person you are. You would literally think about your breath and you'd start freaking out. Oh yeah. Yeah. You never like panic. Like how am I going too fast or too slow? And you ever realize that your jaw is clenched for too long. You're like, I've been gripping on it for a minute. Oh,

I've been holding on for a minute. I suck, dude. We can buy you a jacket, a helmet, the sticky socks, get you a nice little Nintendo DS, just tuck you in a corner. Just tuck you in a corner. A little water tube, a little smoothie tube. Let's get Mama Liv on. Let's do it. The You Should Know Podcast.

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The You Should Know Podcast.

You said January 19th? That's not my birthday. No, he said happy 19th birthday. She goes, it's January 8th. God, Liv. Ah, Liv, nothing's changed. She's talking to herself. The thing about Liv, you got a lot of fans on the play. I do. You know what's getting crazy? What? When we go out in public, like us three, and like real fans come up, they're like, get Mama Liv on the podcast more. We need more Mama Liv. Because they know I'm real.

How do we say it? Oh, you're real? I have a question for you, Ms. Real. I have a question for both of y'all. What?

Oh, God. Because kids are in your future. Is it sexual? It is sexual. No, no. God, I have no interest in that. God, Dave, you took some of them hymns? Good morning. Hello. Hot and ready. This is a question. Long and sharp. And I have a problem with doing this. I'll start it with dogs first, right? Okay. You ever go to somebody's house and they got a beast, right? They got a dog in there. You see their dog, but that thing looks like the bottom of his shoe. Okay.

That's a horrid looking dog. Oh my God. Dude, is it wrong if you're not overly joking? Nope. I won't pet it. And I gladly won't pet it. If your dog has scabies and milky eyes, I'm not touching it. I love you, and I know you love that pet. That doesn't mean I... Like my Carrie's dog, Myrtle, R.I.P. Myrtle. That dog...

That dog was not cute. It was blind. It was blind. It was thicker than Ruby. And it like waddled when it walked. It was black as midnight. Okay.

Careful. Is that a problem? No. It was super. I'm saying the eyes. Yeah, but we were just naming bad things about you. That thing was black. Midnight. Because you didn't let me finish. That's what you said. I was going to describe the dog entirely. Black as midnight. Short and chubby. Glazed milky eyes. Blind and deaf. Okay. So you'd be like Myrtle and you'd be like. Okay.

and hit a wall. It's funny, but again, you didn't help yourself because you named being... That's just the first one. Yeah, but the other three things that followed were negative. You're trying to bury me. Okay. And I was going to say everything. Let's not bury him yet. Yet? How

How about never? Okay, but y'all just brought something up. There was a kid that was a neighbor of mine who we also went to school together in elementary school. And I remember he invited everybody over for his birthday party, right? We went to his birthday party. All the classmates and their parents. We brought parents because we're kids. You know my parents don't know how to act. No.

They don't know how to act. That's going to be me. And so we went into this house, right? We go into my... Oh, I almost said his name. We went in... I'll call him Brent. We went into Brent's house, right? There's people in there, kids, parents, people having fun, talking. We're all in the living room, right? Talking, standing up. One dog comes into the room, right? To the living room. And it just seems like it's a little confused. Like it doesn't have too much...

of where it's going. The dog was confused. The dog was blind. Oh, shit. And it, boom, into one wall. Boom, into the other. My mom goes, oh, shit. My thing is to put the dog down. Oh, it gets worse. It gets worse. Why? Oh, it gets worse.

That one dog's bumping into shit. We realize it's blind. My mom's like, oh shit. She's like, Mark, Mark, Mark. Look at it. And so I'm like, oh my God, that's a blind dog. First time seeing it, it's bumping into everything. It's dead-legging people, hitting them back in the knees. It was bad. The thing needed to go. A second dog comes into the room. This dog...

It came in and I only saw its top half at first. And I was like, oh, okay. It's coming in, but it looks like it's dragging. Like, is it holding a basket on its back?

No, that's... Cameron's always wanted a dog like that. I always used to want a dog in a wheelchair. So he was dragging his back to like, no, those are the dogs that's like... How'd you get this pair? Yeah, that shit's hard to look at, bro. I'm not gonna lie. I literally be like this. It's like a car wreck. You kind of can't look away. You're just like... Alright. Y'all feel that way about dogs, right? Yeah. What if, say...

A friend. That's not too close to you. If your kid's fucking weird, keep him locked up, bro. I don't care, dog. Are we talking about weird or looks? Looks is fine. Have you ever seen an ugly baby? There's ugly babies out there. Looks is completely fine. I think most babies are ugly. When they first come out, they look like little...

little aliens because they have aliens covered in dog shit and like boogers. They have like goo and shit on them which is normal but because my mom cried when I was born. That's nice. No she said it's because how hairy her back was. Because I was ugly.

so ugly when I came out and she cried and the doctor literally looked at her and said ma'am that will go away no she literally said I had hair up my neck like from my ass up to my neck I gave birth to a canine no literally they called me Eskimo for the longest Eskimo baby oh Eskimo oh my god you imagine that like

Lolly? Yeah, Lolly. She was like, I made that. Because that was her firstborn, and I was just the hairiest shit. And she was like, what the fuck is this shit? No, but if they... All kids... Looks they can't control. Now, behavior. If you have a kid... I don't get mad at the kid. I'm like, you're a bad parent. No, exactly. But at the same time, it's like...

Like, go put, go keep, give me an iPad for the hour we're here. Let me enjoy my smoked old-fashioned without the kids. Some kids just aren't cute. Like, that's just the reality of it. I know, but what my question was is how would you act? I would, it's like, look at my baby, and it's so proud. This is my baby, and that thing looks like it came from Xenon. Dude, we would probably laugh with each other, like, behind closed doors. I would never, ever, ever tell anybody. Good, yeah. But you don't need it.

But baby's ugly as shit, you know me I would try my hardest to be respectful but it's all about the initial glance like If I get caught off guard my intrusive thoughts you can't they won't stop they're going too fast It'll just it'll go straight through the stop sign Like if you like that that that filter that people would turn it around and show their parents like look Oh, yeah, baby that thing. Yeah, dude, if that was in real life, if you're like look at our newborn, I'd be like

Congrats. Yeah, I'd be like, so cute. But as long as it's healthy, that's all that matters. Yeah, but if we have a kid and it's ugly, keep your damn comments to yourself. Don't show it on the internet if it's ugly. Y'all won't think it's ugly. That's another thing. If my kid's ugly, like... But y'all won't think your own kid's ugly. I'll tell you. That's true. I'm very realistic, man. Like, if my kid comes out, I'm just like, wow. Like... You're crying like my mom did. Your kid in like eight years is going to look at this and be like, damn. Yeah, I don't... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, buddy. Or...

Girl could be a buddy too. You know what's something that irritates me? I want to know if y'all have this moment. It's like there's a few things. I know we talked about pet peeves earlier. I should have brought this up earlier. But a few things that really upset me, like irk me for a while. And as if, say you're at a department store, at a bar, at a restaurant.

and a song's playing. That's such a big difference. No, but a song's playing. Did he say a barn? He said a bar. He said a department store, a bar, a restaurant. You're at a bar, restaurant, all this stuff. Places where they play music. Department store, and there's a song playing. But you like it, and you're like, oh, I'm vibing to this. But you catch the tail end of it. You didn't have time to Shazam it. Who Shazams music anymore? 100% me. Me.

100%. Shazam's one of the greatest apps ever. That is so dumb. How is it dumb? So you're just going to not find out the song? Say you're going into PacSun, you're looking through their 2 for 50 graphic tees, right? You're hearing this vibe. People really do that? How else do you find out the song? How else do you find the song? I just don't care that much about it where I'm just like, whatever. See, you don't appreciate art. Just live in the moment. Why the hell are you like, hurry, gotta get that song.

Yeah, so I can live that good moment over and over. But you know me, I'm DJ PB. I got to have that. That's why my music's so nice. So what was that word? Serato. Oh, Serato. Hi, Dasha. I was good at English. So, but I'm saying like you catch a tail end of that song and you don't have time. I will go years and I forget a lot of things. I will never, ever forget that. And that euphoric feeling of maybe three years down the line, you hear it. Yeah, I'm thinking too deep into that shit.

When I went on a search for two months for that weekend song, and it was Moth to a Flame. Oh my God, yeah. I literally refused to not find it. Bro, yeah. I was like, I am going to find this song. I hummed a song to him every day for the close, maybe shorter end of 45 days in a row. I'm like, it was like, da, da, da.

He was like, I don't know that song. And we're both weekend fanatics. So it's like, it was pissing us off. And I literally go in the gym one day and I finally hear it. And I was like, I called him. I said, this is the song. I will tell you this. Like if I hear a song and like the lyrics, I will go to Google and I'll be like, dad, dad was married to mother or dad was married to wife. And I'm like, what was that song? Like I'll type in that for the lyrics. So basically you're doing the long version of shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you could just open up Snapchat and hold it down. You literally just open up Snapchat and hold the button. Honestly, for being honest with you, I don't even know where to find Shazam or how you use it. Snapchat. It's on Snapchat, and you just hold the button. You can only use it on Snapchat? Snapchat bought out Shazam. Oh. So it's integrated within Snapchat. Okay, whatever. You know what one of the worst inventions were? And hopefully they don't try to sponsor us later. I'm sorry. Bump? What?

I used to love bump. Are you nuts? I thought bump was stupid. It was airdrop before airdrop. It was airdrop before airdrop. Airdrop went right back to that shit now. Now you grab your phones and you can do anything. Well, yeah, people do that. So, yeah. But I was like, that was the initial when iPhones first came out. You just do that. And I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I didn't understand it. Yeah, I was lit. Okay. What was I going to ask you? Worst invention ever. Oh, one of the worst inventions ever. Remember Google? And they bought out a bunch of ads on TV and stuff for this.

they did the thing where it's like you could go to google and put what's that song that goes never worked never never has that once worked in my life never you could go into the search bar they said you like you click the voice to like voice type but you could hum it and it would hear the cadence and it would try to bring up the songs that have that and i'm like that's so stupid yeah what is one of the worst what's the worst inventions y'all can think of the most meaningless inventions and meaningless inventions those

pop socket shits i hate those shits i used to love a pop socket never owned one you would hold the back of them those are so ugly just hold your phone and grab no but that's the good thing about is you could put it on its side like in class i put it on the side and then you use as a tv stand it's the functionality of things i just never knew the hype about those you should know podcast

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Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

Uh, as you- as y'all have always known and can tell, when you get Liv on with Payton, these sick little twisted brain cells just kind of pop out. So I guess we're gonna do some trivia. I wouldn't even say it's sick twisted. We just think different than others. Yeah, we think smarter. We just aren't sheep. We're the shepherds. Yeah, you're- Baaah! Baaah! Baaah! Alright. Um, are we doing like a 3-2-1 answer? Or like, first answer? Well, you're the coach. What do you want? I don't care.

Just do you want multiple choice or do you want no okay? Yes, I guess just answer. Okay. Just answer. Let's go answer. Okay? Okay, how many days are in a leap year for? No, wait, I've seen four years Is it four years a leap year every four years and 365 is a day of a year still wrong wait? How long is oh they're under 64 still wrong days? Y'all have the nerve

The goal! What's the answer? 366. Oh, because there's another day. You get an extra day. I was close. I went 364. My God. That was a bad question. What is the primary language spoken in Brazil? Mandarin. Brazilian. No. Spanish. No. What? Colombian. No. Colombia? I said English. No. And Brazil. Spanish. Yes. No. Brazilian. No. Portuguese. I thought that was in Portugal.

You're asking some weird-ass questions. Dude, no one knows that. I've never been there. I don't even have a passport. You really don't. That's not even a trivia question. That's not. They would never ask that on Steve Harvey. What does SOS stand for? Save Our Soul. Wrong. Save Us Now.

Save our ship still wrong ship our saves. Nope. I feel like they changed it though. Didn't they it was save our souls No, what was it nothing? So it doesn't mean nothing means nothing people just gave it that row see why we don't like you on this show because you ask trick questions That's not a trick question. You said what does it stand for nothing? That's a trick question false the Great Wall of China is visible from space False point live

It's a big wall. Great craftsmanship. You're in a race and you just passed the third place runner. You're in a race, you passed the third place runner. What place are you in now? Third. Ha! Because you passed the third and you're in third. The only reason I saw that is because I saw that multiple times on TikTok. But I still win. I cheated all through high school and I still got a graduation. What did Neo say at 8 o'clock? What the... Who the hell is Neo? The singer? The singer?

On the day that I dropped out. And I don't, that's not Neo. It's not Neo. That's not Neo at all. It's literally not Neo. Yeah. Is that Usher? I think it's. That's not Usher. That is Neo. It's not Neo. What's, it's, no, it's definitely Usher. Yeah. It's 100% Usher. Damn, baby. All right. It's one to one. Here we go. You're all going to hate me. Let's go. Which company is responsible for producing the most tires in the world? Michelin.

I'm sure you could buy a lot of tires on Amazon. Micheline. Wrong. Great answer, but wrong. Home Depot. Liv. Good God. There's a story, bro. Home Depot? Liv. God damn it. They kick you out. They be like, you can't come back. You need to download the app Masterclass. You need to just read. The answer is... The answer is Lego.

Oh, because... Another trick question. I said you'd hate me. Cam sucks at parties. That's why I didn't get invited. What is the world's largest ocean? Let her answer first, because I have faith in you. Atlantic. Yeah. Pacific. Pacific, yeah. It's the Pacific Ocean. That's what I was going to say first. Atlantic just a little better. Why didn't you say it? I was going to say the Gulf of Mexico, but I realized that's not an ocean. That is. No, it's not. It's a beach. The Gulf of Mexico... Body of water. The Gulf of Mexico is a beach.

It's right under Texas. Right, Kev? The Gulf of Mexico isn't an ocean. The Gulf of Mexico. It's the beach. It's the Gulf. You want to go to the Gulf of Mexico, let's talk about the beach, like Corpus Christi. That would be the city. No, I'm talking about the Gulf of Mexico. The Gulf of Mexico is a body of water. It's like that part of the ocean. Body of water. It's definitely not a beach.

It's not an ocean. A beach is the same as here. It's the huge body of water right there. So what is it? Water. No, but what part, what kind of water is it? It's a gulf. It's the gulf of Mexico. So it's not the ocean. Correct. So I've never been to the ocean. So I've never been to the ocean. I can believe that. So gulfs and oceans are two different things. Wait, I'm trying to figure something out. You're telling me I've never been to the ocean? I've been to the gulf of Mexico. Yes. It's a beach. It's not a beach. The beach you were on was the beach you were at.

All right, bro. All right, trivia is clearly not y'all's strong suit. It's not something you should hang your hat on. You know what else isn't? Y'all are horrendous at math. The whole world knows this at this point, but I like to watch the struggle. Is it evil of me? It might, but I'm going to ask y'all another math question. You have a weird little power struggle with this. You want to be right all the time, and you love watching me fail. I love watching y'all's cogs move and think of the way that you think. Once I close my eyes, I figure it out. And once we get that one more, it's game over. No, it's not. That is.

Anyway, we're here with another math question. Woohoo, Cam. I got 10 degrees. For Uncle P, Mama Liv, straight to it. Here we go. All right, here we go. Open your ears and close your eyes. Don't tell me what to do with my orifices. A man buys a horse for $60. That's a cheap horse. And that's already white? I guess I have so many horses. You always do the damn word problems. Why can't you just say two times four?

If you got that wrong, I'd get a divorce. A man buys a horse for $60. Don't comment on that cheap price. He then sells the horse for $70. Profit. He buys the same horse back for $80, but then sells the horse again for $90. No, you're doing too much. How much did the man lose or gain? You're getting whiteboard. Wait. It was his horse to begin with the whole time. That's not how business works.

That's not how business works. You can carry me on this one, businessman, because I don't know. Okay, here we go. Because you said so many numbers. All right, hold on. Hold on. Whiteboard is out. Here we go. Let's get it. Word by word again. Man buys a horse for $60. Hold on. Let me...

Why are you drawing that? It helps me see. That skinny little creepy. That looks like a walker, like a zombie. It's backwards. That's a $60 horse if I've seen one. Yeah, that is a $60 horse. All right. Money's worth. Okay. Man buys a horse for $60. Okay. That's what he buys first. Okay. He sells the horse for $70. Hold on. So now he has $10. $70. Okay. It's $10 in profit. Mm-hmm.

He buys the horse back for $80. What do you mean buys it back? He bought it back. So now he has... 80 bones. Okay, so look. Now he's even. He said, look. Now he's even. Wait, no. Wait, hold on. Let me... Hold on. You gave somebody $60... No. You're $60 down. You lost $60. But now you're $10 up. You're $10 up because you bought it back. And then...

Okay, he's 70. Okay, now keep going. He's even. So a man buys the horse for 60, sells it for 70, buys the horse back for 80, and then sells the horse again for $90. He broke even. In the end, how much money did he make, lose, or did he break even? He broke even. You have to be a confident answer with your teammate. He has $90.

Yes, look at my word problem. He has the horse. He bought it for $60. You're down $60. Then you sold it for $70, so you're up $10. Wait, where did you say he's down? Why is he down? Because he paid $60 for the horse. Yeah, he paid $60 for the horse. He sold it for $70. Great businessman. $10 profit. Look at her hand. And then he bought it back for $80. Now that's the part where I get lost. That's when I get lost.

How did he buy it back for $80? That's bad business. Yeah, because you already had it for $60. Oh, no. So wait. So he lost his $10 back. So he's down. I told you he was down. No, he's zero. No, is he down? Is he down $20? Because he started with $60. He started with $60. He's down $20. He's down $20. And then what did he do after that? He sold it for $90. He broke even. $70. He broke even. $70. He broke even. Yeah, $70. $70.

She's saying something different. You go, yeah. You're not even saying the same answer. You broke even, Peyton. Hold on. Without the illustration. He said, you went, that's the part I get lost in. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Buys a horse for $60. Okay. Negative $60. Sells a horse for $70. Plus. He's up plus $10. Yep. Okay. He's $10 in his account. Yes. You good? I'm here. Buys the...

Buys the horse for 80. Oh, he's negative. Oh, so he's down 70. Buys the horse for 80. He's down 70. We're going to get this. Let's go. He's down 70. He's down 70. Okay. Sells it back for 90.

So now subtract 90 from 70. 20. Yep. He has $20 in his bank account. 20 what? Dollars. Up or down? Down. Well, I don't know. He's 20 down. He has 20 in his account. No, he's 20 down, Payton. No. He'd be 40 down if he started with 60. No, he's 20 down. Give me the final answer. He'd be 40 down if he started with 60 and he has 20. 40 plus 60 is 20. He's 20 up. No, he's 20 down.

You get it? Because if you- This is fucking mind-boggling. No, no. Look, because if you start with 60 and you end up with 20, you leave with 40. You're negative 40. Yeah! Is that it? Let's get up! Completely wrong. Swear to God. Abysmally wrong. I wanted to crush every amount of tiny sliver of hope you had. It's so fucking wrong. It's so wrong. It is so wrong. Y'all were close. $20. Down. I said that to you anyways. Wrong.

He ain't- He said he ain't getting no horse, did he? I'm up like, "What?" He fucking stole that shit. He's doing tax evasion. Wrong. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, then you explain it to us. Just start again. No, this- it's too long. You- you just- Do it. You- you were- you- Do it. Okay. I promise. Go. Buys a horse for 60. He's minus 60. Yes. Sells it for 70. Slow the hell down. Cameron, how long did it take you to figure this shit out? Hey.

Okay, so 60. The way you're going to do it right now. The way you're going to do it, you're going to solve it right. Okay, then be quiet. Okay. Start. Bought for 60. Negative 60. Sold it for 70. So he's 10. No, he's down 10. Because he didn't have... He has $10. Plus 10 in his account. He's up 10. Here we go. Good morning. He's plus 10 in his account. Oh, God. Okay. He's plus 10 in his account. Okay. Yeah. He sells it for 80. Hold on.

Or no, no, no, sorry. Buys it for 80. Okay, okay. Buys it back for 80. He buys it back for 80. So he's minus 80. Now he's even. No. No, he's not. My partner is slowing me down. Oh, wait. So, oh, this is where algebra comes in. I think I broke the mic. It's been like that. Plus 10, minus 80. There's no need for algebra. There's negative 70.

He's down 70. Okay. Now he sells the horse for 90. Plus 90. So negative 70 plus 90 is a positive $20. Oh, he's up 20. He's up 20. I don't know who has the horse anymore, but I think he's up 20. Is that right? He's up 20. Let's go. Man. Whose horse is it? Who has custody of the horse? I don't know who has the horse anymore.

Bro, he made $20. Oh, my God. You're throwing Hail Marys and you're worried about the horse's future. Like, y'all are a fucking awful duo. An awful duo. My school got paid for it, so. Oh, shit. You paid to not learn. She was jumping up and down on her bed celebrating a D in history. But I think it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is?

Pop culture, payday cam. Pop culture, payday cam. The couch is definitely broken. I think it finally broke. It did. It's so slanted. The couch finally broke. I was wondering, like, damn, I'm lower than normal. I was going to take these couches to the new studio. Like, these always have to be a part of it. Yeah, that could be a relic. I'm never getting rid of these. Okay, but Dr. P, um...

pop culture pop culture hello god my brain's shutting down we have so much more to film uh pop culture right pop have y'all seen first of all quick pop culture because i asked cam earlier and he didn't see it the cat williams interview with shannon sharp i've seen a couple clips and that's not the whole thing cat williams bro he's a legend he's just an absolute legend and shout out to shannon sharp for such an amazing interview and he handled it perfectly just letting him talk and kind of take over give me a quick backstory

Kevin Hart called out everybody. Hollywood people. Some people say it's like conspiracy stuff. But the stuff that I like is he's calling out these comedians that have done him wrong and he has personal things and he said facts and stuff about them. And the people he talked about, I'm fans of them. I'll always be fans of them. But he just said certain things that it's so funny. And the funny thing about it, he would say facts and he would go in on somebody and say some...

like gospel how nice it sounded and then he'd be like I read 3,000 books by the time I was 8 years old like he would say stuff like so he would say something really good and then say that and that's just the beauty of Cat Williams you said Kevin Hart was calling people out no he called out Kevin Hart oh okay yeah they've had me forever have they really forever who do you think is more funny I think Cat Williams I think Cat Williams is more funny but I like Kevin Hart better Cat Williams is cause Kevin Hart can go almost every Kevin Hart movie he's ever been in I enjoy like German Shepherds

It's like, but no. Get Hard is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. With Will Ferrell. I love Will Ferrell and I love Kevin Hart. That movie was... I liked it. Will Ferrell might be one of the funniest... Central Intelligence was a really good movie. Yes, it was. Really good. Um...

But my favorite comedian of all time is Cat Williams. He changed my life with that green... The green suit special? Special. Yes, oh my God. He treated like a German shepherd. He said, but ibuprofen's perfectly legal. You take nine of the motherfuckers, that'll be your last headache. He said, let the assay walk, dude.

He said, this is my shit. Hustle and hustle and hustle. That's a different special, but it's okay. I swear that was the same one. No, that's American Hustle.

Sorry, bro. Sorry. I ruin all things you love. Cat Williams, Dave Chappelle, and then now Shane Gillis came to my top three. Shane Gillis is unreal. I love Shane Gillis. Jesus Christ. He's so good. That was a great interview, but a pop culture that I want to include y'all in. I wonder if y'all have seen it. This is kind of sad. Y'all seen that courtroom video? Oh my God. The guy that jumped over. Nah, bitch. Where someone kept saying, they were like, Dan, 2024 is just starting off really,

- Real bad. - Dude, that's insane. Imagine getting your probation denied, now you're going to jail. - Yeah, for a long time. - Jail.

And can we talk about the athleticism? Dude, he was in the air forever. Think about the podium. He cleared it. His claws. Like, he cleared it. Okay, wait. For reference, for y'all that haven't seen it, there's a viral video going around with this guy. He got his probation denied or whatever. And he jumped. He ran towards the judge, this woman. He, like, bum rushed her and then jumped high as hell over her podium. It was, like, in the air for, like, four seconds and grabbed her. The tackle star starts beating her. Well, that part's not funny.

No, I didn't know he beat her. Yeah, he was like swinging. Oh, I didn't see that. I thought they immediately grabbed her. No, and the craziest part is the guy that is very sad and she's like elderly too. It sucks. No spatial awareness. Uh-huh.

He was in the air for it. He literally was like this. Bro, everything you put up on TikTok that has fucking... Oh, the sensory thing on it? Yeah. Anyway. Well, blessings to her and I hope she's okay and that guy's a piece of shit. But it was a funny video. You're going to jail. But anyway, the worst part about that is the damn security guard needs to be absolutely fired. Oh, yeah. He's literally like this. He's like... That's what he just did. He's like punching him in the back. I literally watched it and I was like...

oh yeah jesus grab you choke that guy get him off her okay so now you've seen that video i went on a rabbit hole when i was like in high school in college i would always watch these youtube videos and i'd be before tiktok was a thing and like you get in the tiktok rabbit hole i was on the rabbit hole youtube of that tv show called like crazy courtroom moments caught on camera and you it was the craziest thing ever you'd watch these people you've seen it right you watch these insane things you remember a specific one

Like are you Beating me to say Oh just any single one Yeah like any one Do you remember I remember one about It was like custody It was like a custody battle Okay And basically the woman Starts going ballistic On the dad And the dad's just staying cool And then the So then the judge hops in Like trying to calm her down And then they just fucking Go at it like crazy Like I remember that I've I've one in my head But it's too sad to say Yeah don't I can't Say it off camera Okay I'll tell you Yeah it's crazy Have you ever been in a courtroom Yeah Uh uh

They're boring. It's so boring. And they're so not like the shows. Oh, no. Like, everything you see in a show is like supreme. It's like action, action, action. And it's big, nice. There's like. No, I've been in a big one. Oh, I've never been in a big one. It just like isn't as much hype as. Yeah, they're ass. But like one of the ones I went to was like, it was for something violent. I think somebody got murdered or something. I went into it. Why were you there? I can't tell you why. But I was in it.

And it was just still slow and boring. See, I always just went to custody court. Like, when my parents were going through, like, their... You live such a mysterious life. I can't. There's certain things that are staying off the internet. You're like the Jedi. You said, no, I can't tell you. I can't. He's like, you don't need to know. But I remember going in there, and I was like, this is gonna be lit. Like, it's gonna be poppin'. It's literally like, they just go through. Boring as hell. They talk about just all these things. The most intricate, like, coordinates. Like, they speak in a code. Just straight lawyer jargon. God, I'm like, I was like this. Yeah.

But if it's cool, like, look over and there's a murderer. Fuck you! You just wake up. Hell no. Every person has to do that. If you get called for it. And you have to do it. But me and Kim, I think we could be... We have ways to get out of it because we're public figures. We could be like, whatever. I would never do this and I'm not advising to it because it is illegal. But I've heard...

that people have and i'm not saying i've done this because that's illegal yeah you've never never done that you don't do illegal things no but when we're gonna get fucking mailed after this we're gonna get it right in the mail um people do is like i have a purse like some people just lie and be like i'm racist can't do it you know what i mean wow yeah you can do stuff like that and be like i have like a personal connection to this i can't do it and they'll be like all right

You can just say, I know the guy on the case. Well, if you do that blatantly lie, they'll be like, you're going to jail. They'll just take you to jail just like that? It's called something.

perjury, perjury, something like that. They pay you like $5. It actually feels so bad for the people that are like on these big murder cases that get drug on forever. And you got to get stuck in a hotel room. I had a teacher in my hallway. Bless her heart. She was like in a really big case. First of all, she had to like find a sub for multiple days. And each day, it was like, she was there for like a full week. Didn't pay her crap. She already had to like get a sub and everything. But she came back. Obviously, she can't share that information. But it was like,

a full on going like investigation. Damn. I want to talk about this more on the Patreon. I like this. So go over to the Patreon if you want more and we'll get more detail about stuff. And that was Pop Culture Payday Camp. Pop Culture Payday Camp. Get us out of here before the hard drive runs out. Episode 94. Thank you so much for pulling up again. This week's code to confuse the casuals and get your good karma. Very simple. Very lovey. Leave it in all the comments. Happy birthday Mama Liv.

H-B-D-M-L, whatever you want to do. Give my beautiful wife all the birthday wishes you can give her. She's fantastic. She does so much for us, and we love her to the ends of the earth. And if you want to meet her, where can they meet her? They can meet her February 17th, Tampa, Florida, March 1st, Austin, Texas, and...

Different places down the line. And so Tampa tickets out now, about to sell out. As soon as they sell out, we're going to give you the after party info. And then Austin, Texas, Patreon, you'll get them this week. Be on the lookout. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Speaking of the Patreon, to get the tickets, the first access before anyone else can to Austin. Meet and greets, sell it quick. Meet and greets sell out very quick. So Patreon, you get your best chance in there. And all the extra funny shit and weird shit we do for y'all.

Patreon down there in the description. Go check it out. We love y'all. I hope y'all enjoyed the extra long episode. We love you. Remember, one out of ten quality bears don't make it home to Christmas and we will see you next time. That was good. Two for two on 24. So the reason I went to this murder trial

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