SHARING OUR UNDERWEAR?! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Even more wrong going to fill that out. Get your good karma. Hey, this whole past couple weeks since tour ended, I've been saying there are announcements coming. Is it time for the first announcement right now? Team, what do we think? What do we think? Huh? Announcement time? Yeah, let's do it. Are you ready? You should know podcast family. Are you ready? We have a merch drop coming soon.

Not only are we announcing that we have a merch drop coming soon, we're going to show you right now. Editor Cesar, put it on the screen. This is the merch that's coming out. We have two items, a hoodie and this T-shirt. Let's go. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful merch.

Now, this hoodie might be one of my favorite pieces personally that our merch team has created and designed. I love the pink. I love the puff print. I love everything about it. If you bought anything from the last merch drop, you know that it is such high quality. It feels good on the body. A lot of y'all wore it to tour. A lot of y'all wear it out in the streets. I see you. I love you. A lot of y'all wear it while you watch the episodes. And this t-shirt, I just love this vintage look.

Looking designed with the big YSK in red with the You Should Know at the bottom. You know the quality of these t-shirts are amazing. The puff print on them is amazing. They will last you a long time. And something different about this merch drop from the last merch drop. All sizes...

All the way from extra small all the way to, I believe, 4X or 5X. Don't pin that. You'll see on the website when it drops. Will be available at one time. There's not going to be separate merch drops. It will all be available at one time. And this merch drop won't be only available for 24 hours. It will be available for seven days. One full week you have the opportunity to buy this merch. Now you have to follow us all on our socials at PimpleDogs.

at PSHA, at CampKinney22, at YouShouldKnowPod, and the Facebook YouShouldKnow Podcast, and of course here on YouTube and Spotify to get all the updates on the release date. It will, it will, it will, it will do well, and it will sell a lot. So be patient on the shipment, all right? Be easy on our team.

They work very hard for you guys. We love you. We're very excited about this. This is just the smallest announcement. This is announcement number one. In the coming weeks, there will be a lot more. We love you guys so much. We're very appreciative of all you. We're on the road to one million subscribers. So please, please share this podcast with your friends, your family, your haters, everybody. If you're on Spotify, leave a review. Download it. We love you. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Keck in the studio. Back in the back. There's a couple of

The children are coming. Hide them. Protect. Drop. Protect. Drop. Drop and make it hot. Drop that thing. Make it hot. Drop and make that thing hot. Hot on the stove. Okay, Cam is here. Cam is here and he's here. And I like Cam and he looks like a deer. Peyton is hairy and he's got a frisky beard. And he's wearing black and brown and he don't even care. What? We got co-host Cam Brown.

Back in the studio! That's a lot of energy for you. A lot of love. I appreciate that. My Johnson, right? It's not... Already? It's flaccid. Right now. Okay, there's not much blood, but when I did the back, it was a lot of movement, not a lot of Johnson. We're going to start this episode off by an intervention, right? Okay. I think that's fair. Every time we record, right? I'll edit it. I'll watch it after. I watch the episode like eight times before it comes out. I watch it a lot.

If you know me, I got an award in sociology and psychology. I don't believe that. I did. I did, actually. You got an award in English. And sociology and psychology. You can write good paragraphs. And sociology and psychology. Okay. What am I thinking right now? It's not how that works. I'm saying you might have an issue. The amount you talk about... What was that? It is low-key...

It is concerning. I said disturbing. I said concerning. Okay. I'm asking you, do we need to talk? No. Okay. Basically, my mind runs often around its own little track that it created. But the name of the stadium is St.

Stadium. So my mind, my little avatar is sprinting laps. Sprinting. It's not jogging. Three mutes already in this episode. Three mutes. Sprinting laps in my stadium called Blank Stadium. And it's just constantly thinking about my teammate, my fellow companion that I hand the baton to, Peyton. And then also my wife. Do you, are you proud of yourself? Do you, when you stand up at the end of this episode, are you like,

I did. I did. I thought you were going to say, when you stand up, do you have... No, stop. Okay. Well, come on. The monetization. We got to make money here. No, we're good. No, we're good. We're good. I'm done. How was your week, Bubba? Please say something appropriate. It was a solid week. Very appropriate. And we technically, we were recording this before we haven't gone yet, but when this comes out, we just got back from the Hamptons. The Hamptons? We took a seaplane. We did. To a private vacation.

Village, some call it. We went to the Hamptons. We haven't yet. We haven't right now, but when you see this, you have already seen some of our social stuff we've posted while we were there. It was a fantastic time. We don't know. I hate you.

I do. I actually hate you as a person. But you know it's going to be fun. Okay, but you and me in a new location, is it going to be fun? Yes or no? Okay, but you like to lie to the people. I'm not lying to them. I'm the most honest and vulnerable with them. You said it was fun. We don't know. We could have had the worst time ever. I'm not lying. I could have drowned. I could not be here right now. You didn't drown.

You don't know. But you and me in a new location is fun. It will be fun. Say that. It was fun. It happened. I can see the future. We're going to have a fun time. You know, there's one night where you say something frisky to me in my ear, and I have to disregard it. Okay, I was looking at the villa, right, that we're staying at. Fun word. There's a lot of bedrooms, right? But each bedroom has one bed in it. We're snuggling. I refuse.

I don't care. You can't physically get me out of that bed. I will physically be holding your calves. I'm going to call Patron and be like, make him a pallet in the tub. No. If they give me a cot with a nice thermal blanket, I would take that. Do you ever... I used your weighted blanket one time. Sweating in a weighted blanket...

It is like, you ever seen one of those people that want to be athletes that run around in trash bags on the street to like sweat out their toxins and their sin? Like that's what I feel like whenever I'm in a weighted blanket. But now, imagine it's a crisp 66 degrees inside. That's very cold for indoors. 66 is good. Okay. 66 degrees outside.

You're like a little sick. Like three out of ten sick. Like you had a cough in the morning but it kind of went away and you get under that weighted blanket and there's a little dog, a little nine pound chowini in your crotch. She's definitely not nine pounds. Oh, what?

Ruby's not nine pounds. What do you think she is? Not a day over 4.5. She's 9.4. Oh, I forgot she is morbid. She has a big rib cage. She has an east to west rib cage and a north to south frame. Yes or no, is Ruby an incredible? Because how elastic she is.

Like, that dog, if y'all don't know, Cam's dog has the most skin on a hound I've ever seen. Oh, you kid. Oh, I know her mom was doing tricks with her little ass. She would bite her in the thing right there. Bro, she still has that. Aren't dogs supposed to lose that? Like, grow into it? I'm saying your dog is a mutant. Okay, but her skin, because her rib cage is so large in her gut, her skin on her ribs, you could slice it with a piece of paper. That's how thin it is. On her neck, it's like...

It's like her neck development just quit. Yeah. There's so much skin on the neck, so little on the ribs. Okay, if y'all haven't seen Ruby, I know there's a lot of new people here. If y'all haven't seen Ruby, it's Cam's dog. It's so messed up. So many problems. We love her. There you go. And I...

That's why you got to follow us on Instagram. The other day I posted on my Instagram a whole day and a life of me and Ruby. She loved that. She was telling me about it at the end of the day. I laid down with her and I was like, did you enjoy your day with your uncles? And she was like, and I was like, oh, you did. Then she went to sleep because she was very tired. I appreciate that. Yeah, I ran her around. I appreciate that. Okay, but you brought something up just now. And you talked about that. If you do that one more time. I was trying to guess. Synergy.

Okay, somebody made a joke on Twitter, and let me just say this, and I have to get it out. It was so funny. There was this picture of a woman. What's the girl's name from Baddies with the chin? Oh. What's her name? Ah. It's in that Nicki Minaj song. Natalie Nunn. Natalie. Natalie Nunn. Love Natalie. I don't know her, actually. Yeah. And we don't like to make fun of people's appearances here, but there was a funny joke, and I'm all about comedy. Okay. If you make a funny joke, I'm going to laugh. 100%. Somebody said if she...

If she sneezed, it would puncture her heart. And I said, no. He goes, she's like, off of one dusty shelf. And that's not funny. No, that is. That's funny. I hate that it was targeted at her, but if it was just like a big chin joke, that would be funny. Yeah. Well, she was just the butt of the joke. It was a chin joke. They just happened to see her. Okay, I get it. Okay, but you said something. What did I say? And I want to argue with you early, right? Okay.

The You Should Know Podcast.

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Something about the baby. That was a good guess. I used mine to help clean out the garage. So we had a couple things in here. It wasn't a ton, but it was more of getting it all out to get some spare room for all those diapers we're about to have to buy. But they came in same day, helped clean out the garage, killed it, and it was fantastic. To get started, go to TaskRabbit.com or download the app. Search for the best tasker for your job based on Codeword.

Now on to the rest of the episode.

The You Should Know Podcast.

Is it hot as Hades here more times than not? So when we walk outside, it's an average of like 100 degrees, right? Exactly. So if I keep it 30 degrees under that, that means I'm fine. Now imagine 35. Okay, but that's the thing. I don't understand when I go into people's houses and I feel like I have to walk around with a quilt. I don't want to have to put on mittens to walk around a home. But there's two things to that. One...

I'm not going to say the first one. Two, do we not have an ample amount of blankets for disposable use? I'm talking about any home. You're making it specific about me and you. I thought you said you wanted to argue with me. About the temperature of houses. You're not here today. You're not here today. One more time. Coach Cam's here. We're going to lock him back in. We're going to lock him in. Oftentimes you make fun of me and my situations.

Yes. Okay, so I thought it was another one. But 73, I'm not going to lie, that pissed me off. That would make me mad. Bro, it's just not enough. It's not enough. Honest to God. Not enough what? Cool. It's not cool enough. There we go. It's not enough cool. Okay, I'm saying, would you rather...

Walk into a house and be like, oh, I'm comfortable. Like, this is a comfortable temperature. Or would you rather walk in and be like, can you bring me the winter attire? Can you bring me the Montclair, the big Canadian gooses, and a blanket? See, me, my cultural background, and my armpits, I would venture, I have to say, option two. Are you comfortable in hoodies? Do you like a good hoodie? I do. So I love sitting around in a hoodie.

And I still can't do that. But don't you feel like it's weird that you're putting on a hoodie in the summer even if it's in your house? No. Because it's comfort and cool. I used to think that every white person was born in Antarctica. That's a fact. So now this is kind of bringing me back to my seven-year-old thoughts. Okay, we want to go back to seven-year-old thoughts? I used to stay the night at my friends' houses. My friends resembled you. And I thought someone left the door open because it was 79 degrees in the house.

I had to strip almost naked and then not use the sheet that his mother provided for me to go to sleep on the ground with. 79 is crazy. 79 is diabolical. I am comfortable with 73 to 76. God damn. 76? You act like 76 is going to bring in mosquitoes. Bro, 76. Okay. Oh, my God. Here we go. When you get in your car, what do you have it set to? Low. Low.

Do you know what low is? No. Low is 60. That's different. Because I'm outside. I'm in the environment. I'm in my home. Resting for hours. No, you're not. When you're in the car, four doors, trunks, frunks included. You're blocked off from environment. And you crank that joint because it's really hot. But you crank it to low. Because my car was sitting outside in heat. And then you leave it to low. Your house is directly invaded by the sun. No, but my house has insulation. I don't live in a shack. So I have actual insulation and walls. Okay. Okay.

You put it on low. Yes, and then when you get comfortable I Know you don't I don't raise my temperature my car you don't you drop the the power you don't raise it back up Which increases the temperature of the car? Oh my god. I forgot you have the spaceship. Yeah, let's call it Elon I forgot you have a spaceship in your disciple of Tesla in normal cars humble beings cars I turn power down and

It stays on the temperature that I had it on. Bro, okay. I hate people like you that act like if your house is in the 70s that you need a screen door because there's going to be flies, gnats, crickets, and ass coming in. Okay, well, right now, no. But in a regular home in Texas, depending on what soil you have in the backyard and what your dog does, it can attract a lot of critters. A lot of critters. That's why you don't kill the spiders.

Excuse me? You don't kill the spiders. They clean your patio. Imagine spiders with a little top hat and a broom. They're just going around sweeping up the patio, but instead of a broom, it's like... They don't use their... Spiders don't have tongues. Depends on the spider. No, they generally don't have tongues. Oh, it depends on the spider. Do spiders have tongues? For real?

do spiders have tongues? Spiders have fangs? Spiders have creepy beady eyes? Spiders are terrifying. I understand that, but they don't have tongues. I would assume they have a tongue. Small tongue. It is an assumption. My toxic trait is if I'm talking to a girl and she's too scared of spiders, it turns me off.

Like, don't call me and tell me there's a spider. Like, I get it. Like, it's cute. You want me to be your protector and provider? Oh my God, you're projecting. Oh my God, you're projecting. How? Oh my God, you don't want to get a call, I'm scared of the spider because you hate spiders. No, I have no problem with spiders. And you don't want to kill it. No, no, no. No, no, you're saying fallacy. That's fallacy. I have no problem with spiders. I'm not scared of a ragnet.

At all. At all. Kill that one behind you right there. There's not one. Oh, if you would have jumped. Damn it. I told you I'm not scared of him. I'm not. Okay. Okay. Let's calm down for Big Hank Aaron.

Dang guy over here. That was strange. Give me some water. That was really strange. I'm like, it is hot in here. My watch is broke three times. Let's calm down for everyone live like Larry over here. Big arm gun guy. You're not afraid of spies. So if I had a galactic...

Goliath bird eater spider. That is real? That is real. It's the size of a large dinner plate. That's a big spider. Big as shit. World's largest. If I set it next to you, you're going to converse with it? I'm not scared of the spider. I'm scared of the size. See, now that's even more bullshit. If it was a cricket that was the size of a dinner plate, I am running away from that goddamn cricket. Oh, my God. I just got like spooks. Yeah. Careful. If there was a cricket... It's all right. I know what you meant. You're talking about Halloween, right?

If there was a cricket the size of a dinner plate, I'd give it. I'd literally hand it the pink slip to my car. I'd hand over the keys to the Kia. I'd hand it Ruby, and I'd say, I don't want any problems with you. What would be a more terrifying creature? What would be the more terrifying insect that is the size of a dinner plate? Is it a spider or a scorpion?

If there was a scorpion, first off, they are big as shit. But I'm talking, let's take width. If a scorpion was as wide, like the scorpion's back was a dinner plate, then it had its pinchers, its thing, that would be biblical almost. That would be from the book of Revelations. That is here to end us as we know it. There are big-ass spiders, but I don't, bro, remember when we saw those baby scorpions in Seminole?

I would literally freak out off of a little translucent one that big. Transparent. Translucent. Translucent illuminates light. Transparent is see-through. Yeah, you couldn't see through the scorpion. So it illuminated light? There's a light bulb scorpion at Seminole State College in Oklahoma. Oh, there's a glow. There is a glow in the dark scorpion. I didn't say in the dark. You added nighttime. You added nightly hours. I said they were white and they glue.

They glue or they glow? They glue. They glued in my room and they made me terrified. Okay, you know what's more terrifying than a big spider? A thousand.

A thousand little ones. Like those little, you ever open? Oh my God. You ever like crack something and then you see them go? Oh my God. I feel like it's in my bunk. No, that's in my butt. It's in my butt. I need to poop. That would, that would decease me right then and there. That's not sentences you're saying. I'm trying to make something happen and it's not working. I'm honestly getting a little embarrassed. I think I'm getting red.

Okay, more embarrassment. I think you drank a pint of lean before you got in here. I'm like, aye. Speaking of embarrassment, I really don't want to say this. Can I tell you what happened last night? Last night? At your house? Yeah. Okay. I love some cam embarrassment. So we had to get up early, right? Come to the studio, have a full-blown work day. So I tried to lay down early.

I'm wearing our new undies that we got together. Shout out Kim K. I'm wearing the skims, right? Yeah, we got some skims by Kim K. Fantastic. Amazing quality. Breathable. Very nice. Non-sponsored. Very non-sponsored. But now, they've been to the dryer a couple times on hot. 70 minutes. Shrunk a little bit, right? I'm laying down with my wife. I plug my phone up. We're watching Bel Air. Fantastic show. You're riding. I am. I mean, I'm fighting for my life at this point.

I'm trying to make some shit shake. Not literally. I'm trying to get some breathing room. You make me shake. Bro, I fall asleep. No exaggeration. I probably wake up eight times within 15 minutes. It's literally every 30 seconds. I'm waking up, adjusting, pulling. It got to the point in the middle of the night, I had no other option. I gave myself a pair of low-rising panties.

I pulled my underwear down to where all of my pubescent region was shown and my ass was hanging out, but I didn't take them off because I don't like sleeping naked. So it was my best bet in the time. So imagine I pulled my underwear down right before it's there, right before you're there. My whole, whole backside is out. Just breathe. A grown man...

Oh, shit. Breathing. A grown man wearing a Y2K thong is crazy. Wearing an early 2000s, late 90s thong as a grown man in 2024 is crazy. I could have belly danced something serious. Yes or no, is that a little hot, though? It was a little hot. I'm not going to lie. I think I dreamed of myself. Imagine that, right? Your low-rise panties with a crop top and a little bit of back hair. Like, tell me you're not going on Rainy Street in Austin, Texas and having the time of your life.

And a little bit of sunscreen so you're glistening. You're just glowing. Cam would be a 4th Street legend in Austin, Texas. You don't know what that is. I don't. Don't Google it. I won't, and I promise you I won't. But do you... Okay, this is the wrong person to ask. You thrive sleeping in the nude. You love it.

Kind of though. It's a fear, right? No, nothing's happened to me. Mine's a fear. No, not a fear like that. A fear of rolling over, like something getting squished, getting plicked. You have a lot of them. I'm not conscious. You have a lot going on in there then. But it's more of just how I lay. It's like I often lay directly flat. Oh, and that's not good. I know. So when there's nothing to keep it contained, no boxers on, no briefs, no pantaloons, I

I'm afraid, what if it's hanging to the left? I roll... I also have a beast that sleeps with me that often resides in the crotch. He loves crotch. Not my wife, not my wife, my dog. Thank you for the clarification.

You just saved my life. You just saved my next three. I have a beast that sleeps with me in the bed. I did not mean you. I meant our dog. Okay, but that's the kind of difference with me. When I lay on my stomach to sleep, it turns, like, I don't know if I have a superpower, but my, it turns into whack-a-mole. Like, it will hide. No, that's me after the gym. But it doesn't hurt, though. Like, so you had the problem of, like, it will hurt if you lay on your stomach. No, I think it's more of a fear. I don't think it's ever actually happened to me. But every time I sleep nude...

Which isn't often. I'm like, you know what? I'm going crazy. I start rolling and moving. I just can't go to sleep. Dude, I also think it opens up more opportunities to piss. And I'm 26. So if I'm peeing in the bed, what am I going to say? At what age is it not okay to pee in the bed? Seven. No, Cam. That's not true. And you're not better than thou. So my wife's saying five.

What? What are you about to say? Oh no, deadass, when's the last time you peed the bed? At what age? Deadass prop, she said four. I'll give you, I had a mistake at six and three quarters. You were pit- It's not- You were pissing your bed while you were doing like geography. I was pissing the bed when I was paying rent. No. Are you crazy? Like an accident though, like, oh what?

No, you ever just drank too much water and then you had a dream? Oh man, not that good of a dream. Not that weird of a dream. I've never drank that much water either. You know I used to always carry around that gallon of water? I hated that. That's when I was on my acne journey. If I didn't drink that, I would be nasty. I would look like a pepperoni pizza at a school lunch. 742-229. That was my lunch number. 900-030-

I hope that can't trace me. Yeah, I don't know. But I would drink that water and then I always like I had a lucid dream phase. And so I would always lucid dream. I don't know if it was the anxiety or the drug. Please. First off, will you not forget your spot? Because if you will, I'll hold this.

I probably will. I'm slowly starting to now. Go, go, go. No, I'm saying I would drink a gallon of water, lucid dream, and in my dream I would flip my peter out and piss, and then I would wake up with a puddle of asparagus in my bed. You ever wake up gagging on your own urine? Your wet, warm, warm cold? Oh, my God. I'm telling you something happened. That's fine. Y'all are not better than me. Y'all control bladder problems, people.

You're not better than me. Because you don't pee the bed at a grown age. You were three times my age of my last bed pissing. There's no way. You were 21, I was 7. There's no way. You were 21, I was 7. But that's so strange to me. I want you to think. I want you to...

I want you to take this in. You could have pissed your bed, woke up, went and bought a lottery ticket, a pack of smokes, and voted on the president. And defended this nation. And defended this country the same night you pissed yourself in your bed. You know what I could have done? I could have got up and messed up some waffles. I could have let the dog out in the backyard and then got ready for second grade. There's no way that's weird. In the comments right now, first CT of the episode,

Tell me, what age did you guys pee the bed? Not, okay. I feel like Liv's going to pee the bed. Not what is the last age you peed the bed, because that'll give outliers. What is the appropriate? Everyone can have a mistake. If you were just to look me in the eyes and tell me my 21-year-old piss in the bed after I fought for our country was a mistake, then that's fine. That's an outlier. No one purposely pees in the bed. But I'm saying that was a complete one-off. See that right there? You ever been drunk? What is the appropriate?

You ever been so sloppy drunk, you go into the bed and you sit down and you feel like you're in the Titanic right before it hit the iceberg? And you don't know where you're at, but then you get up, you almost throw up, you sit down on the toilet so you don't miss. You haven't been drunk enough. I release everything and then I go to bed. And I'm in agony for about that minute and then as soon as I fall asleep I wake up. You haven't been drunk enough. You haven't had enough time. And I feel like I could have saved the Titanic. What? Sorry, I feel like I could have.

Please go. Please tell me. I feel like that had to have been a hit. No. How do you not see an iceberg? No, you do see it. They didn't see underneath. But there also, there is theories. If we want to break it down, there is theories. They couldn't hit a left turn? No, apparently, so they did. They saw the iceberg. It looked very small, but we all know icebergs. Especially due to the memes now. Like the icebergs of comedy. Yeah, yeah. About this much shows, this much is underneath.

So it was the undercarriage that hit the ship, created holes, move. I genuinely don't understand that. They have radars in the ship, right? You think the guys weren't like this. Eh, man. Eh, man. There's my ice right there. Take a right. You think they weren't like, hey, we should probably move. Okay, we're not going to hit that ice. We're not going to hit that ice. Grrr.

That's the ice ripping the metal at the bottom. First off, how strong is ice? That's a big-ass ice. Let's start there. Those penguin houses are strong. Is it ice with, like, X-Men DNA? Is it Wolverine ice? What do we do? Penguin houses. It just registered in my head. A penguin house. Yeah. Well, who else lives in that? Underwater. Santa? In ice. They have an ice hotel for penguins. They have a penguin bellhop that wears a cute hat and has his flippers with hand gloves on it.

underwater ice hotels for penguins is what you believe has to be and do cruise ships not have brakes dead ass question brakes like stopping mechanisms I would assume they have a stopping mechanism but not a brake did they say hit the brakes they're like hey hit the brakes what are they gonna say pull up cut the engine

Anchor down! Meh. I feel like, boo. I feel like they could have avoided that. I feel like if I were on that ship, I would have taken responsibility. I'd be like, turn left, dumb. But the thing you're not understanding, two things. One, they probably got too close too late. Is it just me, or is that car getting really close really fast?

But probably got too close to it. And then when it was time to do it, it's too late. And second is they didn't see, like you can't prepare for something that you didn't know was there. That's what I'm telling you. It's not like they saw the ice and they're like, ah, we can run through it. So they didn't get a map before they took off.

Just answer yes or no. If I gave you a map of Plano, is it going to show the thunderstorm clouds in the residing area? Watch this. Is it going to show the tornado? Watch this. Did they get a map before they took off? Yes. Did they know the direction they were going in? Yes. Did they not know it was going to be a little chilly? Did they not know this part of the ocean is going to have

the ice in it. Yeah, probably. So it's a lack of responsibility and I think it's a hit. And if there's no way you're going into the ice part of the ocean, the ice ocean and saying, Hey, let's just not pay attention to what's in front of us. And the penguin house is going to take down our ship with Leonardo DiCaprio on it.

Like, are you crazy? He's painting a nude redhead in some quiet, cool room with old-ass furniture. You mean to tell me that's what the penguins... And they're having prohibition parties downstairs. It was the penguins. We should watch Titanic together. No, no. It's too romantic. That's why I... I don't like watching romance movies with you. Okay. What? I always catch you looking. Looking at you? You do the peek. It's like a 16-year-old first date. I'm like...

Yes or no, have you hit the yawn trick on me one time? I go...

Okay, you're going to bring something up. One more recall for you. Okay. Recall? Back to recalling something that we already spoke about. Callback, recall, you're pissing me off. I get it. You know what? No. I get it. You have papers that have your first and last name and some name of a dean in your house somewhere in a folder, probably dusty with your old shoes that don't fit. You have those. They say this guy was good at English. I don't give a shit. Okay? When I mess up, you need to love me. I do. And allow me to mess up. I do.

And then tell me on the back end, not for the world. I'm starting to get concerned about you. Why? Every shirt you own changes colors under it. Like, you always have a tie-dye shirt on no matter what color you're wearing. It is bad. Okay, callback. Yeah, my callback, asshole. It is back to pissing the bed as a 21-year-old smoker. Okay. Smoker? I'm saying because you're old enough to buy cigarettes. Oh, okay. You don't smoke. But...

What were your lucid dreams like? Please, God, tell me. Because if I could only imagine, if you were lucid dreaming... Do you know what lucid dreaming is? Yeah, you can control your dream. I mean, that had to have been cinematography. If you went through a phase of controlling your own dreams, you in your mind controlling dreams? Well, it was 50% me, 50% Satan. Like, there was a little, like, it was...

I didn't have the full keys to the house. You know what I mean? It was terrifying. You were operating out of the guest house. He had the main... He had all the rest. I could cook and clean. He paid the bills in there. Can you give us insight to just one? Maybe you remember one. Not really, but all I know is...

The scenario and the environment, I couldn't control. Okay. But you controlled what you were doing. And my dreams would always take me to trauma. It would be scary, scary, scary, scary. And then when it comes to the climax of the episode, right? The climax of this dream. That's when I have control.

And that's, so I'm either getting chased, Oprah's somewhere. Oprah's creeping on the stairwell. Oprah's in the back making the eggs. She's somewhere in the house. I can control like me, like where I'm running. Like I'm getting chased by a killer. So you're somebody wants my butt. Yeah. It's always somebody wants my butt. And I have like, like, like ankle weights on. What are you wearing? Oh, I'm naked. And I'm always 10 times more hairy.

All right. It's like weighing me down. It's like you remember those Geico commercials with the caveman foot or the oh, the caveman. Yeah, that's what I looked like. But it was my face and you had ankle weights and I was like and it was me running from something. And then I would always get to the point of like I had to jump across this bridge. I had to like I got into this elevator shaft and I'm scared and I'm hiding, but I could always end it. I knew I could always in the dream. I could be like, OK, I'm in a dream right now. I knew it.

And I would end it by saying, "Okay, this is a dream you could wake up." And I would always wake up and I'd be happy. You'd clap? You'd wake up to a break huddle. You'd say, "This is a dream, we're gonna wake up." And three, go. Oscar Bravo! 2AM, you're butt naked. You're just like, "Huuuuh!" Bro, that's kind of intense. Yeah, it was fun though. I just never had-- we said this before, I'll get off it, but I just never had a good dream and I want to know what that's like. They're pretty fun. And I've never had a wet dream. Like, I've never waked up with specimen on me. Is it fun?

Dude, that's kind of... Not a wet dream. I'm not talking about the wet dream. I'm talking about the good dreams. Oh, the specimen on you is the fun part? No, I'm talking about having a good dream. No, I'm talking about wet dreams. No, I've had a wet dream, but I've never finished. That's... Okay. Okay. We can just mute that part. We can mute that. We have to pause it. Stop it. Stop it, CJ. I have to piss so...

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What'd you use it for? Me and Liv were going to Alabama, but we're going to the beach side of Alabama. Okay, strange. Orange Beach. Nice. So I'm going to get my toes in the sand. Woo! Maybe a little Miami Vice. Woo! Maybe a little hammock on the side with a little ocean view. Woo!

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When? This past, like, two weeks. That is a hell of an opening sentence. No, it was because I don't know how to take it, and I'm a sensitive girl. Everybody knows that. You are, yes. I have very low ego. I love holding you and your ego. Bad self-esteem. And you don't need it. Well, but you've seen me naked. Yeah. Imagine. You should have a good ego.

Imagine a cricket standing up and then putting it in honey and rolling it across a barbershop floor. Like, that's what I look like naked. You know what I mean?

And I think I'm starting to get bold-legged. I don't know if that's possible, but I'm starting to get a little knock-kneed. You're growing into knock-knees. Yeah. Wicked. I don't know if it's how I sleep. You're a knock-kneed, naked, oiled-up cricket that took a lap on a barbershop floor. Say that many N's in a row and see if you're okay. All righty. So, this girl, right? Beautiful young lady. Oh, God. Beautiful. Okay. I've known her for some years, right? I've known her for some years, right? You know her. Oh, God. You know her, right? She's beautiful. Okay. Beautiful. You like her. Okay. Okay.

She said something to me. And she doesn't flirt with me, right? She doesn't flirt, but I love her. And she knows I love her. I tell her, I love you. And she never says it back. She goes, stop it, Peyton. And I go, you're right. But I love you. But I do love you. She goes, she said the first compliment to me. And I was so excited. She goes, Peyton, you're really cute. And I said, you mean it? She goes, yeah, you kind of look like a dog. Now tell me, should I be offended or should I take the compliment?

honest to God think it comes down to what dog she was saying in the moment.

If it was any nasty breed, like a weird Yorkie, even like an aggressive Chihuahua, something like that, that's offensive. I didn't get that far because I was fighting tears. If in her mind she was calling you a beautiful chocolate lab. I did ask, is it a lab? She goes, oh, no. It was so certain it wasn't a lab. Then I went the whole other way. I said French Bulldog. She goes, no, not that either. Thank God. If she would have thought you were a Frenchie, a little gut, bad nose, bad breathing.

A little accurate. But she goes, she said, I don't know if this is the dog, but the name coming to my mind is a Doberman Pinscher. Those are cute. Cute dog. They are cute, but they're a little wiry. They're very wiry. Very sporadic. With movements, with thought process, but adorable. Should I be offended that she said I look like a hound? The sizes of the ears aren't matching up, but the face. Look at me real quick. Treat, treat, treat. I was trying to see. No, I don't.

Okay, honest, you're the doctor. You know Dr. P on a personal level. I do know Dr. P. I work for Dr. P, so there's a big difference. But if I had to channel it, I would say the intent was good.

The delivery was bad due to nervousness. She wasn't nervous. She doesn't get nervous. She does not like me. Then I'm thinking it's a full-blown insult at this point. If there's no nerves involved and you know that to be true, it's a full-blown insult. Yeah, okay. I just need to get that out there. Do I look like a dog to you? No, no, no. You look like a beautiful man to me. Thank you.

Why did she say that? Let's find the root of that. I think that's the only thing that's going to give you peace. I didn't explore it. Oh, my God. To hell with the root. What did you respond? I said, oh. Oh, okay. O-H, thanks, question mark? That's like somebody giving you a million dollars, right? And then being like, just kidding. Yeah. Because this girl I've been longing for compliments from hits me with a, but you look like a dog.

I just have to. I'm not going to lie. No, the more I sit and accept this and really bask in it, that's an insult. And she hasn't smelled me yet. Once she smells me, it might solidify her opinion. Oh, my God. When she smells you, you are a dog. There's no looking like. She goes, you're a hound. You're an actual beast. Yeah, I just needed to know if that was the wrong thing. But then she scratches your lower back. And she scratches me. It's game over. And that leg starts going, and it's game over. I love a good scratch. You're hitting one of these. I love a good scratch. You can't beat a back scratch. You really can't beat a back scratch.

You know, I have something for you now. Okay. We're going to break this down because that kind of, in my mind, that kind of led me to this and it doesn't correlate, but here we are. I saw this the other day, surfing the web. I saw this on the good old bird or X as it's called on Twitter. You're in a room. This is a hypothetical. Okay. You get put in a room with 999 other Americans. Okay.

What's the race? It doesn't matter. It's all randomized. It doesn't matter. I go, it matters a little. I'm just kidding. You're in a room with 999 other fellow Americans. So there's a thousand at random. Could be from any state, any background, any demographic, everything. Okay. You're all trapped in this room. The only way you can get out of the room is by being better than every single other person at something.

But you don't know who's in the room. What would your two first guesses be to get you back to freedom? That's a fantastic question. So you're trapped. Let's do it one more time. You're trapped in a bunker. There's a thousand people. I'm talking complete random. There's no, okay, we're going to grab this athlete completely random. The only way you get out and back to the world is by being...

Objectively better than everybody else at something. There's no restraints. It doesn't have to be a sport. It doesn't have to be a feature. It can be the wildest, most specific thing there is. I would say depression and self-doubt, but you can't test that. You know what I mean? Like, you can't... You can't...

All my shit I feel like I'm better at is mental and negative. Like, I can't... That's fine. There's no parameters. I could be like, I'm sadder than you. That's fine. That's fine. I'm more panicked than you. More panicked. Okay. Too realistic. Is depression and self-doubt your final answer? Is that your final answer? To save your freedom, is depression and self-doubt? No, but I could do like... I'm not...

great at anything. I'm really good at a lot of things. But for the, okay, but being a jack of all trades, being a Swiss army isn't getting you. It's not. You have to be better than 999 people at this. Like if it was like a Mr. Beast challenge, it was like first one to shower loses. I would win. So stinkiness. Stench. No, but that,

But you don't know where- you don't know who they're grabbing, you don't know where they're from, you don't know what they do! There could be some stinky sons of bitches in there! There could be- oh! I'm fighting the- I'm fighting, I'm fighting, I'm fighting. Okay. Fight harder, keep fighting! Keep fighting, fight the good fight! Okay. Okay. Okay. You're crazy. CJ, I'm so sorry! It wasn't gonna get better if I didn't say it. It wasn't gonna get better if I didn't say it. Okay!

Honestly, if it was social media marketing, I feel like I could beat anybody in there. Self-marketing. Self-social media marketing. I would win. What if Zuckerberg got it? I'm better than him. He created the platform. He hired people to do all that other stuff. But it's from his building. I'm not saying creating a platform. Like creating a network, probably not.

Self-marketing, social media marketing, yes. I will stand in that. You will stand in that. Ten toes down. Okay. Now, if there's other YouTubers that are more successful and stuff in there, then I'll lose. I don't know who's in there. And you don't get freedom. That's fine. But that's with anything. I can say anything. I can say I can jump the highest, but I don't know who's in there. Now, and that's good. That's a good fair point. I want you to tell me what you think mine would be before I share it. All right.

Credit score? No, oh god no. No, there's people out there with freaky credit scores. They're talking 850s, 870s. 400's low, right? You do not have a 400. No. Okay, oh my god. No, I don't. Give me a guess. Give me a guess. Knowing me, knowing all of my darkest, deepest secrets. Which you're the best at? Okay, don't say it like that. Like it's a f***ing stretch for anything. I was thinking, what are you doing? You're gonna be the best at something? Three point shooting.

That's pretty good. That's what I would say. Steph Curry's an American. I don't know. Should I really thank him? You can't ask me and then rebuttal me because that's with everything. No, that's fine. That's everything. Do you want to know my initial thought? Because I was trying to go oddly specific. Yeah. My initial thought was knowing the exact amount of hangers I need just by looking at the load of laundry I just did. Can you do that? I am damn good every time. That is a good talent. Like, I swear to God, I'll look at the shirts and I'll go...

heavy load i use about three-fourths cups of the beads i'm going 24 see that's less impressive that's less impressive you're sitting there analyzing and looking that's less it's a five second analyzation no i'm saying if you were to literally be like grabbing it throwing it down and then just going to your closet that's whenever i would have sex with you okay i'm saying like i need to try that next time and see if i can redeem that coupon because that'd be nice

That was my initial thought. Something oddly specific, but then it's like, what if there's a stay-at-home mom that she's a goddess of laundry? She's been doing this shit for more than I've been alive. But, Cam, you're ending everything. Whenever you say, I think I'm the best at this, or you ask me, and then you say, but this person could be, you can say that about anything. I know. But my best shot at freedom would either be that or...

Or having the highest amount of I don't cares I'll eat off of any of y'all's plate. That's no. It could be a homeless person. You know what I mean? It could be.

Ooh, we

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of the time. So stop waiting and start saving. Get a free debt analysis right now at pdsdebt.com/ysk. It only takes 30 seconds. pdsdebt.com/ysk. pdsdebt.com/ysk. Now on to the rest of the episode. - The You Should Know Podcast. - Exactly, you can do that with anything. But you know what one thing I know I wouldn't win at? - Pain tolerance. - No, cooking.

I don't know how to cook. You'd be trapped in there. Like the older I get, I realize how pivotal the life skill cooking is. The only thing I know how to cook is like cereal. What? You do not cook cereal. You prepare cereal. The only thing I know how to make is cereal and Hamburger Helper, and Hamburger Helper isn't cooking. Okay, you're wrong on the first, you're wrong on the second, because you don't cook cereal, and you do cook Hamburger Helper.

You cook Hamburger Helper. You make Hamburger Helper. You cook Hamburger Helper. You literally... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, you're not cooking. You know what cooking is? There's ingredients and you put stuff together, parsley and all that, and you put... Parsley is your, your, your, your telltale is parsley. That's... A garnish. Every time I see something cooking, they're sprinkling some parsley on there. Okay, that's to make it look cool for a picture for their website. You cook the hamburger meat. You heat it. No, no, cooking the hamburger meat's not Hamburger Helper. Hamburger Helper is what comes in the box.

But then what do you add to it? And what do you have to do? And what does it say on the back of the box to do? It says... I don't read instructions. Bruh.

Says brown, brown up, brown down, cook, brown up a pound of beef, meaning beef in skillet, skillet, cook beef. You cook the beef, then you add it to the hamburger helper. But to make hamburger, make hamburger helper, you need beef and you need to cook it. You don't need beef for hamburger helper, first of all. That's neither here nor there. That's tomato, tomato. No, it's not. Yes, it is. It's not tomato, tomato, potato, potato, nothing. Cam, Cam.

Holy shit. If you get a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, are you eating cereal?

Or do you need milk for it to be cereal? No, it itself is cereal. Okay, so what's in the box is Hamburger Helper. But Cinnamon Toast Crunch isn't called Flaky Cereal Helper. It is the cereal. Your shit's literally called Hamburger Helper. This box helps the hamburger that you're cooking. Is that what that name comes from? Yes, you idiot. I don't think so. I think you just made that up. Hamburger Helper. I'm here to help your hamburger. Hamburger Helper is heating something up. That's not cooking. You can't.

You cook meat. No, that's not hamburger helper. That's ground beef. But that's what the box is there for. No, the box is the hamburger helper. You can have hamburger helper without the beef. So you're going to eat dry noodles and seasoning. What's spaghetti? What's macaroni? What's macaroni? Noodles that you cook. You boil the noodles. So you can't have macaroni without cheese.

That's the noodle. That's the name of the noodle. The dish is called macaroni hamburger helper, dog. You're helping the hamburger. Hamburger helper. It's in the name. Freestyling, brother. You're freestyling. Oh, now I'm shady. I'm rabid. I'm B-rabid. Cam, Cam. Why wouldn't the ground beef come with the hamburger helper then? Because it has to be refrigerated in a different section or it's going to be raw. You're going to turn into a zombie. Ground beef is frozen, not refrigerated. Ground beef is not frozen.

Ground beef is not... Where do you store your ground beef in your house? Dead ass, where do you store your ground beef? In the fridge. If you want it to last long, you freeze it so it stays fresh. You store ground beef in a fridge, dog? When you buy it, it's refrigerated. It's not frozen. When you buy it. Didn't you have the swine flu? That was when I was younger. That's why. It was going around the nation. That's why you had the swine flu, because you're refrigerating beef. Where do you put your meat? In your...

in the freezer i don't cook so first of all i don't have meat in my house exactly so my family had it in the freezer we had a big ass industrial freezer in the laundry room next to the hammerhead shark that we caught in desmond florida you had an industrial cafeteria freezer no a washer dryer and a shark in your laundry room is this wizards of waverly place what is this place

Are you magicians? No, dead ass. Okay, no. You put... And ice and lollipops. Shut up. Here we go. Shut up. Shut up, dude. Shut it. You put meat. Your family did that to preserve it. Longer life. If you were to walk into a Walmart, Target, H-E-B, whatever, the beef is not frozen because you can buy it and make it that night. Beef just has to stay cold. You put it in the freezer to preserve it longer...

If you want it on the back. You've never thawed your meat. Yes, I have. You can't thaw something that's not frozen. Because I just said. First off, you said you store it. If I go to the store right now and I'm planning to make spaghetti on Thursday, two days later, I'm not freezing that meat because it's going to be fine. Now, if I go to the store, say a Sam's Club, say I buy bulk, I buy a lot, I buy 10 pounds of beef, I'm going to freeze seven of them because I'm not going to use all 10 this week. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this.

When you buy Captain Crunch, what are you buying? Cereal. When you buy Hamburger Helper, just the box, what are you buying? Hamburger Helper. So you don't cook Hamburger Helper, right? You're cooking beef. You don't cook Hamburger Helper. That's all I'm saying. I am tired of you always arguing with me. You, oh my God, you are like a, you are like a,

Oh my God, you're like a lucid little shepherd out on his weird plains of grass that all you do all day, you wake up, you smoke. I don't smoke. No, no, in this analogy, you're a shepherd, right? You wake up, you hit a pipe, right? And then you just walk around in these fields. You look at things for inspiration. Do you see every time I... You look at your poor little sheep and you go, I could never be one of you. I have to think different. Every time I make a good point, he just comes with personal insults. Like he can't rebuttal me at all.

Step one!

Step one on your hamburger. Answer my question. Answer my question. You know what? You answer my question. No, you can't. Step one. You can't do that. You can't ignore my question and say, no, answer mine. I didn't ignore it. Yes, you did. When you buy cereal, when you buy Captain Crunch out of the grocery store, what are you buying? You're buying cereal. When you buy Hamburger Helper out of the grocery store, what are you buying? You're buying Hamburger Helper. Okay. So you complete. So you're not cooking. You're warming up. Okay. So you don't need to complete a bowl of cereal. What do you add to it?

That's not good. That's, that's, you can eat it dry. That's a bowl of cereal. That's not what I'm saying. But the meat, but if you just cook hamburger helper and eat, not cook, you don't cook hamburger. When you make hamburger helper, you're still eating hamburger helper because that's what it says on the goddamn box, bro. First off, you said you don't read instructions. And if you did read the instructions, step, literal step one, step one, you're

Cook the beef! Cook beef, now add this stuff to it, and here's your meal. The box is like a starter kit. It's like a camo for the... Okay. It's not the thing itself. Based on what you're saying, my ramen noodles, how do I eat them? Dry. Dry.

So am I still eating ramen noodles? Yes. Okay, so it's a personal choice if I don't want my hamburger helper with me in it. But the ramen says this is how you cook it. The ramen doesn't say go grab this and add it. Yes, it does. It says only thing, add water. That's if you want to make it the right way. And that's if I want to make the hamburger helper with me. So you eat seasoning and dry noodles. So you're an actual lizard. You are an actual reptilian. You're not a human being. If that's what you want to get from this, that you're a freak, then sure. Hamburger helper. Hamburger helper.

Hamburger Helper. To make it properly. That's any... Bro, you can say that with anything. Thank you. You can say that with anything. No, you can't. I buy my bacon. I eat it raw. Am I still eating bacon? Yeah. Now enjoy that doctor's bill too, jackass. I don't get a doctor's bill if I eat Hamburger Helper by itself and just eating noodles. But you're not eating a real meal. Yes, I am. Noodles aren't a real meal. I buy my gas. What's Italian food? If it's not a real meal, noodles aren't a real meal? That's not what I'm saying. That's exactly what you just said. Hamburger Helper. You're toxic, bro. No one buys

to eat it without the meat. Me. No, you don't. No, you don't. So, okay. Matter of fact, hamburger helper in itself, do you add the meat to it? No, because I don't know how to cook. So, you're a freak. So, he's a freak. So, the end basis of this argument is, of course, you can eat something the wrong way. That's not wrong. Of course, you can do it. That's not wrong. Okay, if step one is get beef. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Here we go. That's not wrong. Oh, my God. Here we go. If step one says, get beef, cook it.

and you don't do step one, are you following the given instructions from the company? No. So does that mean you're doing it wrong? No. It's not a law. It's a suggestion. It's if you want it this way.

It's when I buy an Ikea desk, do I need to start with the legs? No, I can start with the top if I want to. Who gives a shit? I'm going to have a desk because it's still a desk. Hamburg Helper is still a desk. Now, if the Ikea thing said, take this other bracket and you have to put it on for it to be complete, your desk would not be complete. It'd be a desk functional, but it's not the right way to you.

Bro, you... It's all right. I body bagged you, and I'm happy about it. You find the smallest, creepy little loopholes, and you try to exploit them. You simply... You are a master of loopholes. You verbally cannot keep up with me. Because you loophole. It's not a loophole. I'm smart. English. Sociology. Psychology. Sorry, I didn't pay $50,000 to get a piece of paper, and I'm good. I didn't pay $50,000. I did not pay $50,000. I just shot $3.3 million. Oh, man.

I'm so hot and so sweaty. I'm drenched in sweat. And I'm starting to read a lot of comments and a lot of people are saying that I'm beating you now on these debates. You're literally losing your spark. You're not beating me. You're picking something and you're standing by it. I didn't start the argument. You did. Are you insidious? Are you evil at spirit? Cam, you know how the conversation went? I'm not even looking at you, bro. You disgust me. Tell me how the conversation went. I said, I don't know how to cook.

hamburger helper and i said hamburger helper is not cooking you said it is cooking i didn't start an argument i just said a fact and you argued the fact and and we argued about it i came out on top as i do every morning with you so how does that feel i came out on top with you

You cook hamburger, Homer. Okay, it's fine. You're an idiot. Oh my god, you know what you do to me. Oh, I'm not. Oh my god. What? I'm not the toxic one. It's you. You know what you do to me. You know on any day of the week my blood pressure never reaches these amounts. Because you don't have anybody that's as smart as me in your life. Except for your brother. Maybe he called you dumb.

Oh my God. Well, she's not known for being smart. Oh man. We love her, but she's not a scientist. That's true. You know what I mean? You didn't marry her for her wit.

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Thank you, ZBiotics, for sponsoring this episode and our good times. Now on to the rest of the episode. Okay, honestly, who, who, dad asked him, clean slate right now. And I was thinking about this in bed because all I do is think about our job and work. Okay. And I watch everything we do. I just spent hours and hours watching it.

And that's why I have disdain for you because I don't like what I see. Okay. Okay. But when I was sitting there watching our podcast back, right? Went to YouTube, typed, you should know podcast, watched it, watch old episodes, new episodes. I genuinely 100% think, yes, I make some wild takes sometimes. I a hundred percent think I am more rational than you in life. You're kidding. Kim, honestly, you're joking. You are very below average.

On how you view life. Ouch. I'm being honest. I love you. Being okay. That's the thing though. You taking extremely specific things and exploiting them doesn't make you above average. Doesn't make you this extraordinary being. It means you're finding very, very finite details that,

And then you're trying to make them infinite. You're picking the one thing. You know how I can debunk your whole argument right now? Give me one point. Give me one point. Give me one example. Hamburger helper. I just said, and see that's, you don't listen. I just said, negate everything we just said today. Name one example. You know I don't think good on the spot. So you're making a bold proclamation that,

Here goes the fancy words again. Proclamation of the Declaration of Independence. Did you know that black people wrote the Declaration of Independence? And then all the whites just signed it at the bottom? That's a fact. Is that a fact? Yeah. It's a fact. How does that feel? That's a strange fact. How does that feel? I'm surprised I didn't know that. Not me. I'm not. I need to read more. Oh! But I am more rational than you in a day-to-day life. Kim, yes I am. Even on like a day-to-day thing, you say the stupidest shit. You're like, hey, there's...

Whenever we're all at your house, right? We're all at your house. It's me, you, Ryan, Sanjay, and all the guys, Javante. Not anybody in our group is under 6'1". Let's just say that, right? We're all large. Pierce is certainly. Pierce is hardly there. Just kidding. I love you, Pierce. I miss you, too. I need your laugh back here. All of us are, I would say the average height of our friend group is like 6'4". Right? We're big. Yes.

Cam is not rational about anything. We'll be like, hey, let's all go to the 7-Eleven across the street and get snacks. Let's go get snacks. We're about to play 2K for hours, play Madden for hours, play NCAA for hours. Let's shut the f*** up, dude. I am not here to listen. I'm here to talk. Because I'm honest and rational. Go. Average height, 6'4". There's three guys already that are 6'7". Me, Cam, Javante. That's three 6'7", right? Yeah.

Cam goes, okay, I'm like, hey, I'll go drive my car. I can take some of mine. Cam, you take some of yours. Dude, why?

Why? Dude, it'll be fun, man. We can all fit, man. We'll just lap up. You almost broke my car, dog. No, I did not. And Cam, and I tried... Me, Sanjan, and somebody else, I forgot who, probably Ryan, was like, Hey, Cam, we can literally... It's going to be a two and a half minute drive. We can just take different cars. You're not rational with life. And then you get so mad at us when we argue with you. Two things. I could...

easily counter argue that I was being rational trying to save two cars two vehicles admitting carbon dioxide into the environment you don't give a shit about the environment I don't but that's not true but in the terms of the car and the length

I was trying to be rational in saying, hey, it's so short that we could just suffer and sacrifice for the two and a half minutes. Instead of two people having to leave parking garage, give up parking spot, drive to location, two separate cars, we're all going to the same place, buying the same stuff, and then coming right back. But you'd rather break the law. Because that's breaking the law what we did. You'd rather break the law. That was breaking the law. So you'd rather break the law. I'm not saying that. And how many people in our group wanted to do what you wanted to do? Half. Half.

You just said three. CJ. You just said three. You said it. I mean, you said three people. I vocally said something. Yeah. I'm not saying who. Yeah, well, I'm not a doctor. I can't read their thoughts. Three people vocally said no. How many people wanted to pile in that car? Zero. Thank you. One. One named it was Cam. Thank you. Who's more rational, me or you? Me. What am I not rational in?

Arguments. Points. Points to make. Points to make. What's irrational about what I'm saying? Not right now. About anything. I'm saying in general, in other things. A lot of things. I don't believe that. A lot of things. It doesn't matter if you don't have an example. This is how it happens. Fruit loop flavors. It's an opinion. No, it's not! It is. It is.

That's literally an opinion. It is literally not. You can't tell me what I taste. There's nothing subjective about that. You can't tell me what I taste. There's nothing subjective about that. Because in a factory, they're making it taste the same. You. You went to the factory? No. Because you have the same amount of knowledge. I've read reports. Oh, really? From where? Yeah, from thebetterbureau.com. I know the history of Froot Loops. If Froot Loop is telling me it all tastes the same, and you're telling me I look at colors, I think different,

I trust corporation over you. I think you have more trust in self. You have more trust in individual. Am I boring you? No. I'm going to test you out right now. Test you out. I'm going to test you on something. Okay. Because I am liking this new thing where everybody is starting to flip on me. Everyone flips on me. That's fine. I'll wear the badge. Oh, you have a little peanut gallery in the back? Yeah, yeah. And so I'm going to exploit that more.

I don't think you're as smart as you lead the internet on to be.

I don't lead them on anything. Yes, I think you test me on things that you know I'm not good at, and then we make clips out of it. Eight out of ten, you tell me to test you on that. Go ahead, let's do a geography quiz. I'm like, hey, what's the capital of this? You don't know for whatever reason I did. I'm not out here saying I'm a genius. Okay, yes, you do. I know. One thing I will gladly state is I have a lot of useless knowledge. I don't know where it comes from. I just have it. So I'm going to help prove the point that you're not as smart as you lead people on.

To believe. Okay. We're gonna do some riddles here. Oh. Now, I will gladly say, don't change up now. You shut the hell up and you just answer. You're gonna change up here. No, I've never been one to be amazing at riddles. I'll honestly say that. All right. But it's not like I earlier would say, dude, I'm fantastic at spelling. I'm amazing at geography. I'm really good at this. I never say that. You give me a question, I answer it. It ends up being right. You get mad naked and you cry, and then I feel bad. I feel small. We're gonna prove that you're not smart.

First riddle, here we go. I am not a blanket, yet I cover the ground. A crystal from heaven that doesn't make a sound. What am I? Snow. We're going to do three and three. I'm sweet and cold with a stick to hold. A treat on a hot day with more than gold. What am I? Popsicle. Last one. What has a head but no brain? That's it?

that was it yes oh my god okay what has a head but no brain i got him i'm thinking two different routes what has a head a head but no brain that would be dumb i'm thinking i can't get to the other one i'm trying to think of something more like that but i can't bad guess but i don't want to waste time skeleton it's something like something that has a head uh screwdriver it's a lettuce

Lettuce. Okay, I knew this one. See, okay, so two for three. Two for three. Switch up. And don't... I just scrolled straight. I didn't pick selectively. I just went the first three I saw. Here we go. I saw you scroll twice. God, he's a fucking manipulator. He's a dick-taper. Okay, you want me to read Dove... Dove Plant Milk? There's one right above it. That's... I have a ne... Oh, that's a different one. Oh. But that's on the same... Manipulator. That's on the...

Time out. You did! No, I didn't. Because this says, why do cats make good warriors? And I didn't answer about warrior cats. No, because I skipped that one down. It was because I read it. Because I read it, bro. I read it. So I didn't want to be a cheat like you. You didn't tell me that. Okay, here we go. You didn't give me the chance. You accused me. You're a cop. Okay. I didn't get a fair speedy trial. Here we go. Sixth Amendment. What comes down but never goes up? What comes down but never goes up? Never. Rain. Rain. Yes, sir. Oh! Rain.

Don't touch me, dog. Okay. See, you're doing it. See, one for one. One for one. Thank you, CJ. But technically, that's not true either. Because if they say evaporation... Hold on. God damn. Never mind. Evaporation isn't rain. See, there you... Oh, my God. There you go again. It's not rain. That's actually not true because if they say evaporation is real, then rain does go up. Evaporation isn't rain. You're doing it again. Evaporation is its own process. Matter of fact, rain... That came from what? Rain isn't even a thing. Rain is a process to rain. It's not...

Water is what is being come that rain water leaving clouds falling onto earth. That's rain So when it's raining you catch it you don't what is it? What am I catching water? You're catching rain. Yes. That's a rain drop rain water a drop of what what is rain? It's water. Yeah, what in the glass are you drinking rain? Are you drinking water? It's raining water. No, I'm drinking rain Oh, so one day I could I could depend on where it comes from. Oh

What? Where something originates, where something comes from is what that thing is called. It originates from the cloud. Okay, so if I get struck by lightning, I didn't get hit by lightning, I got hit by electricity? That's what you say? I didn't get hit by a lightning bolt, I got hit by electricity? Lightning is it. Lightning is what it is. But what is lightning? Lightning. It's not electricity?

Is it electricity? Yes. Okay, so you got struck by lightning. Rain is it's coming down. That's the same thing as rain. When you hold your hand out in a rainstorm, what is hitting your hand? Water. That's all I'm saying. So is ice. What? So is ice. It's water. It's different types of things. Yet you didn't name rain. You're either getting... If you want to play that game... That is a rain drop I'm catching. Rain evaporation. Bro, rain is water from the sky. Yes, it's water.

Yeah, no shit! But when you- you don't catch rain. You don't catch rain. What's a lake? Water. But what do you call it? A lake. Thank you. It's a different name, I'm saying. Thank you, it's a different name, so what are you arguing me for? If you scoop the lake, you're scooping water.

I don't think rain is that. Rain is a thing. Where did this start? No, you literally said. Where did this start? Because I'm getting back. I'm getting all over the place. Where did this start? Because I said. Evaporation. Evaporation. And you said. Evaporation is a process. You said there's no such thing as rain. I did not say that. I did not say that. I didn't say there's no such thing. I said rain is. I said evaporation is a. I said evaporation is a process like rain.

And then you said, actually, rain isn't a real thing. There's no such thing as rain. It's exactly what you said. And that's what caused me to be like, are you nuts? If I said that, I did not mean that. Okay. All right, next. I meant, because you said rain is water coming down. The act of that, that's rain. Water leaving the clouds, falling down. Is rain. Is rain. Rainfall. That's all I'm saying. Yes, and that is rain water coming back up in evaporation. No. Yes, it is, because where did it come from?

That it could be all over the place. Where did it come from? But that's what I'm saying. It's evaporation. It is water. From rain. The process of the rain falling is rain. The process of the water falling, rather, is rain. That's rain. The process of it going back up is evaporation. But that is rain water.

That has gotten to this lake and it will be sucked up through here. Everything's rainwater. Via what? Evaporation. Evaporation. There's processes. That's all I'm saying. Okay. And I'm saying that is rain going back up. But you're calling it all rain. That's rainwater going up. You're calling it all rain. I'm saying rainwater is going up. Dude, I am body bagging you this episode. I love it. Thank you, CJ. He did not agree with you. CJ said I was right. He just gave me a thumbs up.

He just looked at me and said no. CJ has no back bone. He's a coward. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? What? The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? The more you take, the more you leave behind. Pocahontas. What? She took something. No, no, no. That's offensive? No, no, no. I'm just saying horrible, horrible guess. Wasn't she on the golden trail? She did something with a guy named Lewis. Lewis and Clyde are gold mining. No. No.

The Golden Trail. No, not gold mining. I thought they did something with gold. That was way later. God bless. Way later. They weren't... Listen, they weren't with her? I think they did, but it had nothing to do with gold. Do you think Pocahontas was as bad as they say? Probably not. Probably not. Golly, it locked again. You have it on every five seconds? No, you just got to keep touching the phone. You shot... No, you did not. No, I didn't. Okay, ask me again. What is it? The more you take, the more you leave behind. An egg. No. Oh, I read the wrong answer.

So you cheated and you cheated wrong. Okay, what is it footsteps? So you're one for two. That's good. Okay, one for two. So I have to get this to be even. So you can't beat me, but you can tie. He's gonna be a cheat son of a coward. Well, I can't ask the next one because you cheated on that. So here we go. I gotta go one down. Here we go. Okay, swear to God, I just went one down. I am easy to lift, but hard to throw. What am I? This could be anything. That was like me with a head thing.

No. Yeah. Easy to lift. Hard to throw. What am I? Easy to lift. Hard to throw. Oh, man. Easy to lift. Hard to throw. Easy to lift. Hard to throw. What am I? Give me a hint. You didn't give me any hints. You didn't ask. I'm trying to give like a partial hint to not give it away. I mean, it's not an everyday item. So if you're thinking everyday items, it's not.

Something it's... Is it breathing? What? Is it living? I mean, no. Weights. What? Weights? Like weights. It's easy to lift them, but you can't throw weights. They're hard to throw. I can lift more than I can throw. A feather. It's easy as f*** to throw a feather. No, because as soon as you throw it, it goes...

That doesn't make it hard to throw. It's hard to get distance. If I said hit that camera, you wouldn't be able to. That's accuracy. It's not hard to throw a feather. It's actually the easiest thing ever. You're a cheating, conniving, evil, white supremacist. I use the same ad-filled website as you did. That's crazy. All right, you won that one. I guess. It's okay. Hey, if I had to cheat to get my successes in life. You cheated. You said egg.

Okay, you got so much saliva in your mouth. Oh my God, so much. It was like goo. It was goo. Your tongue is so wide, bro. Oh man. Oh man. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode of the You Should Know Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify! Shopify!

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Shopify made it so simple. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/ysk, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com/ysk now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com/ysk. Now on to the rest of the episode. - The You Should Know Podcast. - Do you remember when I tried to scam you and all my teammates back in Arkansas? And maybe this is the first time I'm hearing about it. Wait, what?

You tried to scam me? Remember when I sent that referral code out to everyone to download that app? With the receipts? Yes. Oh my God, Cam. When

When I tell y'all Cam is the cheapest son of a bitch I've ever met in my life, tell them what you did. This only builds to the case of my frugality. Basically, there's an app called Fetch, non-sponsored. You can scan receipts from grocery stores and you get points and then you can spend the points on gift cards. So Fetch threw this amazing one-year, two-year anniversary deal. So annoying. Get 4,000 points for every referral code when someone uses your code when they download the app.

I said, damn. And their point system was simple. 1,000 points equals a dollar. I said, four bones for every person. I got a team of 15 people. I got coaching staff. When I tell you I sent it to

I sent it to my aunt. I sent it to my grandma who can't even see her phone. I sent it to her. And then I told my mom, hey, can you do it on Meemaw's phone as well? And she has the Ghibli cricket phone or whatever it's called. The Jitterbug. She doesn't even have an app store on her phone. She has messages and magnifiers. I sent it to my dad, my mom, all my teammates, you, my friends, everyone. And when I tell you, I opened up my app.

And I had 160,000 points. And I immediately got two $80 gift cards to Amazon. Worst part is, honest to God, a little of a low point, and I hope no lawsuit can be made out of this. I went to Kroger in Arkansas, and Kroger has a trash can. Not a big one that you have to dig in. I know what you're about to say. It's like a receipt trash can right by the self-checkout. I know what you're about to say. Yes or no, did I cause a decoy distraction to my right?

Worker turns their head, I grabbed a handful of receipts straight to the pocket, straight to Ron to the Honda, straight to the duplex. I went back, straightened out the receipts,

tried to use fake emails to set up new accounts to get 4,000 redemption points. You're the most frugal, and you're a scammer, bro. No, that's bad. That's probably breaking some sort of code or law. Cam's going to be indicted on federal charges for tax evasion, bro. I'm telling you, he cheats on his taxes. No, I don't know. IRS. Good CPA. Don't do that, local guy over here. And he's not joking about this story either. Whenever we were in college—

Like we would be going out somewhere and then like every time I were to purchase something He would be like a parrot on my right shoulder I feel his chin right here and he'd be like and I'd be like, uh, they're like you want your seat? And i'm always like no he goes. Yes. Thank you I'll take it. I'll be like come on dog And then like you would go through my car and like try to find receipts and they had specials you get more points I swear to god when I asked my assistant coach at arkansas tech. I asked him to sign up for the app

Because when you sign up, you have to scan one receipt. So I also had receipts on deck waiting to be scanned via people that didn't have a readily accessible receipt. So my coach goes, yeah, sure, I'll do it for you. He pulls out the app. He goes, ah, I guess I'll have to get back to you. I don't have a receipt. I said, don't worry. I whipped one out right there, straightened it out. I said, you're going to want to get that barcode. Bottom left corner, you're going to have to flip it afterwards. He scanned it right there, $4. That's not good. And to show my heart,

I got $160 worth of Amazon gift cards straight to the wife. I let her have a little shopping haul. What'd she do for you? What about the people you scammed? That's honestly true. I probably should have bought you all like a keychain or something. Thank you. We never got anything. It's pointless. Y'all don't want a keychain. I want something. I wanted money, and that was it. And every time we go to Chick-fil-A, who buys it? What do you mean? Me. That's not true. Who uses the app? Me. Who buys it? Well, if you're in the driver's seat, I...

Be partial. The driver's seat doesn't matter because you're sure making it easy to reach across to scan the app. Yeah. Reach across to scan that goddamn card. But no, I'm saying you say, oh my God, even last time, last time we went, strike me down now if I'm lying. Was that an in-house thunder and lightning? That was genius. I said, hey, ask for two separate orders. Oh my, oh my God. Oh, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. Oh my God. Don't even peep. Word for word.

Yeah, let me get a number two combo, hash browns and orange juice and whatever they want. Say it. Because you've made our relationship to where I'm your sugar papa. No. You go, daddy, give me yum yum. I go, daddy, daddy, daddy, give me yum yum. You say, give me yum yum sauce. Your pants are bending in a provocative manner. You say, daddy, give me yum yum sauce. Can I get a new toy? And I say, give me a little spank and a smooch. And I go...

And there we are. Okay. Okay. I gotta...

You need to breathe. Did you know there's a scam going on right now? There's a lot, bro. Honestly, speaking of scams, they are, it's terrifying. The world we live in is scary. There's a new one that I don't know if you know about. Please tell me so I can avoid it. You drive, right? Yeah. You ever see people driving with, uh, and the sticker says, uh, new driver because like, you know, like be nice or whatever the, the patient new driver, new driver. You know, it's a scam now. No, people are just slapping that on their things so they can like while out on the road and like be left alone.

And like not pulled up like all that shit that you just while out and like, you know, when you see that naturally on the road, right? You think you avoid them school. Yeah, I'm a move. Yeah. And people are just slapping it on. I think there's a benefit to it, too. My mom was breaking it down. I don't know the full story, but there's like like a lot of people have been putting that on their car. And I was driving recently and I want you all listening and watching to to go whenever you drive to go look for this.

Yes or no, are you going to find more of them? Because now that I'm aware of that, like I've been privy to that, I've been seeing them everywhere. And it's like a 50-year-old mom. That is also a technique. What do you mean? It's like the Japanese searching, something like that. It's some sort of... It's like a method. It's used to teach look for positivity, not negativity, but basically...

If you're looking for something, you'll find it more, essentially. That's true. Like if you start saying, hey, I'm thinking about buying a Tesla, you're going to go outside and you're going to see millions of Teslas. That is so true. They use that to say if you wake up every day with a bad mindset, you're going to find bad things. Bad things are going to find you. I don't know if that's true because I've been saying out loud, I'm looking for a loyal woman with a big culo, and I can't find one. I don't know if that's true. I think the Japanese got that one wrong.

That's racist. You gotta mute that. Oh, man. But no, it's a test. They basically like in this room, I would say like close your eyes. Humor me, thanks. All right, ready? I don't like being my eyes closed in public. All right, ready? Stop. Okay, sorry. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Name everything in this room that was red, that is red. Name as many things as you can that's red.

Dragones headband. Our shirts on the mannequins here. There's a Celsius over there that has red writing on it. Okay, you got three more seconds. I bled over there a couple months ago. That doesn't count. And done. My webbing. Your webbing's red and irritated. So now, take a look around the room. I nailed it. Look for things. Look close to you. Down. Big, big red thing right there. Not your Johnson. Right there.

Okay. Golly. Look around. Take it all in. I killed it. Okay. Now close your eyes. Name everything that's red. Beef jerky. The lights. The things I've already said. The ATEM switcher. The WWE belt has red stones in it. Okay. So seven. Basically, when you're looking for red, you can find more red. You found seven. Off the top of your things, just what's red in the room, you found three. Okay. When you looked for it. Big booty loyal woman. Okay.

Big Kulo loyalty non-lying. Kulo massive. Let me try. Big booty loyal women. No.

Doesn't work. Okay. Would that be, would that not be the greatest feat that we could ever pull off? That y'all planned that? Ever. Oh my God. If we planned that to a T, we had to, first off, we had to think that you were going to react like that and say that. And if we had, when you said that, we had a hired extra come on and then just start just giving you a show and

I don't like shows. What would- okay. I just said loyal. Okay. We have a loyal girl with a culo that comes out and she is standing right in front of you. When that- speak to him, Toothless. That would have been fantastic. Oh, woman house. Oh, have fun with that one. Back to violations and on-the-road scamming. My dad used my grandma's handicap placard for about three years to get a good spot at his job. Allegedly.

Allegedly. He still works at that job. Well, no, it was the other job. Oh, okay. But to get an upfront spot to where he could get in, get in quicker, get out quicker. I've used other people's handicaps, though. I only did when my grandma was in the car, though. But it was never too big. I know, but like in school, like people would be like, whenever people would like confide in me and be like, oh, my cousin, they just, you know what I mean? They did? Did you go to the hospital? I was like, did they get one of those stickers?

And then I'd pay $20 for better than a $200 ticket. $20 for a week. Just park in a regular spot, you criminal. That's when I'd go on my dates. I would take one of my friend's handicapped stickers from their family members that are going through a medical injury. There we go. And then I'd be like, $20 for it for a week. I would line up like four dates that week. And I would always park like, hey, baby, don't even worry about it. I'd park right here. And she'd be like, wait, this is handicapped. And I'd be like, limp.

Oh man, nope, nope, nope, nope. Absolutely not limp. I think it can. Okay. It's a joke. I've actually never done that. Okay. I am a comedy guy. Okay. Something that I just thought about this just now. I don't even know how the hell I got there. Yeah. Do you remember? Yes. That, you don't even know what I'm saying. I was saying yes, so like I'm listening. Oh, okay. Do you, no, please don't put it back on. On that side of the head, there's one that's like.

It's like drooping down. Peyton. Yes or no? Do I look like the P... No, no. Okay, continue. I just thought of... Do you remember like two weeks ago? We went to Lyft. Maybe like three weeks ago. Before all the crazy construction. Do you remember that guy?

That was right next to us. That went to f*** you? No. Oh. Sorry, CJ. Not that guy. Not that guy. That guy was a creep. The guy that was right, he was on the tricep push down. When we were on the lat pull down. No. Don't even know what those are. I just kind of show them. Basically, I'm about to just give me a minute and I want you to talk as well. I hate when people have the main character complex when they're in a gym.

Oh my God, that's the worst. How do you not remember that guy? He literally was going, he was punching himself and he was whispering to himself and then he would do a set. Oh my God. And then he came in and started shaking. He was looking like this. He walked like 10 feet, walked right back and he went, come on. Yeah. Come on. The main character complex in a gym might be the worst. It is the most...

aggravating shit ever. And I'm the least judgmental person in the gym because I look like I have an ailment whenever I lift. You know what I mean? Like, I look like... No, you don't. Did he just get out of physical therapy? Like, is he in the middle of learning how to walk? That's what people see when I'm working out. So I'm the last person to, like, have an issue with somebody in the gym. But, however...

Remember that dude that came into the gym with headphones on? He was rapping and jumping. He was rolling loud. He was doing the, God dang, don't mess with us. Do that shit on less of us. I'm like, bro. I'm like, bro, be quiet. Literally. Okay, is this bad that I don't like loud grunters in a gym? That was my next point going to be. I'm all for pushing your body to its brink. But when you're on the squat rack,

And you have a lot of weight. You got 405. Which is great. That's fantastic. That's a hell of a feat. But you haven't even started lifting yet. And you're like, come on!

And you're smacking yourself. Powder's flying all over the place. Your friend's got a tripod. You sit one of your buds in. You go, put the other one in. You got a sweatband on. You have three things of compression, two belts on. I'm like, you're not getting paid. Would you rather the main character complex person in the gym or would you rather a stinky person in the gym? Where we go, we get them both. Where we go, we get both.

I smell in the gym, so I might be one of the people. I stink too. A natural sweat remedy, like a good onion. Like an animal-style burger. I am an animal-style burger. I'm an untamed fox eating an animal-style burger at 3 a.m. Okay, I've never asked for this in the history of the podcast. Actually, I did once on the Inside Out. If someone could make that picture, if someone could make an animated untamed fox with a cool background. Yeah.

Make sure it's at nighttime to represent the 3 a.m. Eating an animal style burger and just put Peyton's spirit animal at the bottom. I'll pay you. Okay. I will buy that from you. First thing, first answer that comes to the top of your head. What animal, what animal resembles me the most?

Oh my god, deer. That was the first thing that came to my head. I was thinking like, light shades of brown, long limbs, very sporadic and bouncy. But then the hair is always a short coat. And if I had time to think, I would think of like an underfed grizzly bear.

Like a grizzly bear that was away from mama for first five years of life. Yeah. It went to like a vegetarian bear. It wasn't eating its natural like fish and stuff like that. It was eating straight berries. And then it came back to the group and they're like, who the hell are you? You give drunk anteater vibes. Like you give like, like you're a little creepy. You look fun to be around. But it's like, where are they? Like what is going on up there? You want to play that game? Okay. You want to play that game? You give...

You give half-awake queen aunt that's in her palace giving orders, but then when shit hits the fan, everyone's going to protect you. And you thrive in that, and I love that. You are like... You're like a sloth with too much freedom. You know what I mean? You're like, how'd that thing get out? And who's watching it? That's what you give. You... You are like...

A spider monkey that had an energy drink, but it was laced with, like, tranquilizer. So, like, the caffeine is surging through you, but the physical benefits are gone. So your mind is a thousand miles a minute. You're long and hairy, but you're very still. You don't move a ton. Like, you find a spot you like, and you sit with it. You're like a peacock that lost all its feathers. It's like, golly, what is that thing?

Everybody's like oh shit. That's the first like oh shit You could tell it was supposed to be somehow. They're like in our next attraction is Cameron I come out like they go oh Like we got what it was supposed to go what the close your eyes, okay? See if I can get another good one. I'm feeling I'm feeling uh I'm feeling a free-ranged pony mm-hmm

with no relatives. That's what I think you are. A free-ranged pony, so your parents are gone. You're by yourself, pony. But you don't have anyone to talk to. That's you. You're like a hammerhead shark with a lazy eye. Like, imagine that. They're wide and one of them's loose. That's what you give. Like, that right one. So... You might have me beat. I'm running out. Okay.

Um, let's see. A leopard that is allergic to... A leopard that is allergic to grass, but often sleeps upside down in trees. That's what you are. That's what you are. You're like a flamingo with a bad limp. Like, the legs are there, but f*** me. It's like that. You feel bad for it, but it's also interesting to watch. You're like a donkey that lost its voice. Like, what's the purpose?

I'm just sitting there like raspy and I'm just like... Okay, you're like a baby ape, right? Oh! Alright. The attitude switch. Alright, let's do a Dr. P's a long ass episode. Let's do a Dr. P and get out of here. Okay. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P!

Doctor P. Alright. Are you ready, Lord? Yes, the doctor's hungry. Dear Doctor P. Hello. Me and my ex were together for a couple of years. There you go. But we broke up not too long ago when I found her cheating on me with my best friend. Her friends have been texting me, but I don't want to be petty, but I do want revenge. What does the friend look like? What should I do? He doesn't want to be petty, but he does want to incite revenge.

Dr. P is the best love doctor in the world. Number one. Rated. Over six million five-star reviews. The reason I'm number one is because I don't answer with this Harvard degree, law, therapy. Cookie cutter. Cookie cutter. No. I give you that toxin. I give you that real raw. What's going to benefit your life and show you results. How many friends are texting him?

He didn't disclose a number, but he said her friends, plural, plural, her friends. We can assume two or three. Her friends have been. So he's got to be a good looking guy. I'm not going to lie to you. Her friends have been texting me, but I don't want to be petty, but I do want revenge. What should I do? Let me speak French to you. You didn't know Dr. You didn't know Dr. P knew French, did you? How about it's time for you to get a little menage a trois.

Hold that lip. It's time for you to get a little menage a trois. Oh, I like that. You know what I mean? You're getting a group message. You don't even bring up your accent. You go, who wants it first? You just put it on the table. Secretary, can I have a little horned up? That's why I'm a secretary. I didn't hear your accent. What was that? What'd you just say to me? What'd you say?

I didn't hear your accent. Oh my god, that's not what I heard. No, I don't I I literally thought you said I didn't hear your ass clap. I was like, what? I was like, are you supposed to? You were like, I didn't hear your ass clap. I was like, oh, thank you for the 50 grand.

I was like, okay. So, Sire. Yes. Now that we're back. No ass clapping. No... But you have... Yeah, that ass... That's Dr. P's go-to. The get-back is getting back. Get-back is getting back. One more breakdown before final analysis. He was with the girl for years. Cheated on him with his best friend. Now her friends are texting him. Doesn't want to be petty, but he wants the revenge. But...

With Dr. P, you're not on a rookie contract. You're on a vet minimum. Oh, my God. You're experienced in this game. You know what the rookies would do coming straight out of college into the NBA? Oh, they'd work really hard. No, shut up. I thought it was a question. I thought it was a question, honest to God. It might have been rhetorical, but it's still a question. It's not even a word you just said. I messed up. I'm going to shut the fuck up. Sit on your hands. Sit on your hands. Hold your breath the whole time. So what Dr. P says is the rookies, right, they'll go in and just get the coitus with the friends. That's not what you do. You whine and dine the friends.

You buy them flowers, both different flowers, $200 minimum on both flowers at different times. And you don't allow them to post it on the Instagram story because then you'll mess it up with the other one, with the other friend. You say, hey, this is just between me and you. Let's keep it right here. You get one friend. Next day, I don't know what your re-up time, depending on how much Gatorade or Honey Packs you took, you go.

You get flowers for the second friend. And then boom. And then they're not your friend anyway. That's your girl's friend. That's your ex-girlfriend's friend. They have no loyalty to you. You erase all three of them out of your life and you become best friends with your boy again. That's what you do. I think that's how Olympic divers do it. They take a big breath and every time they feel the need, they just go and blow a little more out. And that was... But a real answer just... Move on. Dr. P! You!

Dr. P has no rhythm. He said, Dr. P! Here we go. Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Dr. P! Alright, let's get us out of here, Camelon. Bam! Episode 126. We appreciate you all so much for coming back. We love every single one of you. I do. Make sure you come back for next week. Like, subscribe.

Dr. P, Uncle P, and the good old brother Peyton himself said in the intro, merch is on its way. That is the first and the smallest of so many amazing announcements we have for you, but merch is coming. All sizes are going to be available, and it's going to be available for a week. So follow us on Facebook, of course, and on Twitter.

the YouTube, Twitch, Discord, Patreon, Instagrams, all of our socials, so you can never miss when the merch is coming, when the next announcement is coming, and all the good things in between. Oh, God. For this week's code to confuse the casuals and get your good karma, we're going to go with H-H-D. H-H-D. Hamburger Helper...

Death. Debate. Hamburger helper debate. You better leave that. I swear to God. You know what? No, I'm not going to try to win him with bias. Hamburger helper debate. Let us know who's right and wrong in the comments. Please, God. We keep a tallying point system. It's on a piece of paper back there. Anyway, hamburger helper debate. HHD. Leave it everywhere. On all comments. On all videos. On everything. This upcoming week. Get your good karma. We absolutely love y'all. Merch drops August 26th. Merch drops August 26th.

We love you guys. And remember, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time. What'd you say? August 26th, baby. See you there. Yeah, you have to cook the meat.

Where'd you get those shoes? Easy. They're from DSW because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways and all the styles that show off the many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between because you do it all in really great shoes.

Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or DSW.com.