OUR WILD ROMANTIC GETAWAY! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the UChino Podcast episode 139. Round of applause please. I'm just trying to hydrate it a little bit. Hey everybody, welcome back to the UChino Podcast episode 139. If you are new here or if you haven't already, leave a comment below to see if the subscribe button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section isn't fulfilled with the order name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. Hey.

I think we had some banger episodes back to back to back to back to back to back, and we're going to keep doing that, so a round of applause for that. Thank you all. It seems like y'all are enjoying them a lot. Also, we are approaching Black Friday, and you know what that means. The merch drop is coming, and if you want to see that, because you get early access on the Patreon, you can go over to Patreon right now, and you can see what that merch drop will be. So a round of applause for a new merch drop coming in a couple days. Thank you.

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We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Back in the studio, back with some Rubio. Dropping all the tracks like back on a Rubio. Throwing past like a dime like Rubio. Why are you dressed like a youth pastor today? Why? What's going on? Did I miss the memo? I can't wear jeans and a shirt. Why? It's Monday. What do you mean? It's Monday. Monday's the greatest day in the world. What day? Monday. You sound like my grandma. The one that's dead. Yeah, yeah.

She used to say it all the time. Can I know? Oh, no. Oh, no. You're not going to beat me. I'm restricted. Sorry. Okay, go. I was going to say, we got new mic stands, right? They're beautiful. They're expensive and they're beautiful. And the reason is, is because the last two episodes...

I broke the mic stands, and there's a lot of snap, crackle, pop, and it took a lot in the post to fix it. And so we got these new ones, right? But it doesn't allow me to do my movement, and so I feel like a caged animal that didn't get its rabies shot that got hit with the COVID vaccine, and I'm stuck in this cage, and there's a piece of fresh meat over there and a woman. I'm like, sorry. Well, that's going to get muted, but.

It's alright. Hey, fight that urge. It's alright. Just bite down. Get that inner willpower. What were you wanting to say? I was going to say I hate you. I was actually going to start with that. I don't like you today until I say what I'm going to say and you rebuke it in the name of Christ. Okay. What are you going to say about me? So, fun story time off the rip. Here we go. Peyton calls me, right? Hey, what's up, buddy? This is a couple days ago. This is about four days ago, maybe. Hey, what's up, bro? What are you doing? Okay, I'm going to send this thing to you. Cool. Boom. Boom.

My nightly routine might sound weird. I might love him. I might just want to get tickled in the ears, but I call you every night. Yes or no? Yeah, too much. Okay, that's a bit rude. So I call him right when I'm laying down with my wife. It's time to go today. Hey, bro. Do you want to go to the gym in the morning? Simple question. Yes, you did ask me. Do you remember your stupid response? Uh-uh. No, what'd I say? Can't, bro. Go to the doctor. I said, I didn't know you were sick. What's wrong with you? Are you okay? Oh, nothing. Nothing?

Yeah. So why are you going to the doctor? And he literally said, Oh, it's been about seven years. I'm sure there's something wrong. I think I'm gonna go get a checkup. Yeah. I then proceed with, so nothing's currently wrong with you. You haven't been in seven years and you just had this mental sabbatical during the middle of the day. And you said, I want to go get a doctor. I,

I should get a doctor. Oh, I've been telling you for two years. Every Monday straight, you need a doctor. So what's the problem? You need a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a straight jacket. But what was the thought process? What made you say, I need help? Going to bed and every day there's a new pain somewhere. It's like this part of my body, my neck. I'm like, I shouldn't feel like this at 25. And like, you know, like,

I got a lot of responsibility. A lot of people are relying on if I'm alive or not. I need to be alive. You need to be alive. So let me just get a doctor and have one. Can I say the most pointless shit I've ever done was go to that doctor? What the... Literally nothing happened. You're 25 and nothing was wrong with you. They didn't check me. What? You're not seven. They're not going to check your height, weight, do the eye test, and give you a lollipop and send you out. What's the point of going to the doctor then? When something's wrong with you.

No, I don't think that's right. When you're ill or when you're 50 and you need a little nurse to play in your butthole with some Vaseline. I got to wait until I'm 50? Yeah, you got to wait until you're 50 or you can go down to... Good morning. Good morning to you. Wait, I thought it was important to just go to the doctor to get regular checkups.

Especially as a black man. Now, what does that mean? You wouldn't understand. My brothers, you know. Not you. You know, I was formally inducted into the Faithful Black Men of Oklahoma Society. I swear to God. What?

Who runs that organization? I don't know. I wasn't faithful because I wasn't in a relationship. And believe it or not, I'm not black, but I'm an honorary member, so I do appreciate you that. Maybe they just thought you came for money and they wanted a donation. Oh, no. I wore the same raggedy hoodie and I wore hirachis with holes in it. Those would be the rich ones. Billy goat. Those would be the rich ones. That is true. Okay, wait. No, I'm saying like the doctor was the most important. Like nothing happened. Yeah, so fun fact. You're in a stage of life that some people call it's a newer term, prime. No, it's not prime. You're 25. No, your prime of your life as a man is your 30s.

Health-wise? 30s. You think? Not mine. No, I'm an outlier. You can't take an outlier. You outline Jim and Button if that's the case. You will be going, you will be decreasing. You can't take an outlying circumstance. I'm just saying. So you're an outlier? Yes. I'm saying, literally, I was like, okay, they're going to grab me, they're going to fold me, they're going to feel me, and I'm going to know if I need something. I don't really know how the doctor works. I haven't been in my adult life, really.

Fold you and feel you. After I stopped going to get physicals every year for basketball because I had to, I stopped going to the doctor. Yeah, because you were healthy. You were in the prime of your life. You went to a doctor without a cough, without a headache, without a fever, and without a broken bone. No, I need a primary care physician. You need one of those. You do need one. And I don't have one. You can just simply elect one. Yeah, you have to go. No, you don't. No, it's not a job.

Job interview you don't go hey Thomas you think you'll be able to fix me when I need it No, you look if your insurance hasn't been networking you say that's my doc. Yeah, and I went you don't go and shake his or her Hey, it was a her she was really pretty yeah, so you went on a date So you went on a date with a girl and some scrubs with nothing wrong? No, okay, so I went in there and then they literally you know how whenever you're a kid and you go to the doctor and they'd have you step on the scale and then they check your height and

to ask you. You shouldn't even do that. She goes, how tall are you? Yeah. I said, six, seven. She goes, you sure? And I go, isn't that your job to tell me? She knows that you can drive, you pay taxes, you have a mortgage and you might have a family at your age. She's not going to rub your tummy. Open your ears for me. She did that. She did go in my ears. She checked your

She checked your ears and she didn't do anything else. No, no. So literally she's like, so what are you here for? And I said, I need a primary care physician. She goes, okay. She goes, that's me. Get out. That's what she should have said. And then she goes, did you fast today? And I said, I'm not religious like that. Like, I believe in God, but I don't know if we practice that part. And so I said, can I say that? So I didn't know. And so I said, no, man, was I supposed to? And she goes, oh, well, we love taking blood here.

And I said, oh, that's weird. That's a weird thing to say to me. I said, oh, yeah, no, I didn't. You go, oh, that's not happening. And it's so, she was like, it's okay. She was like, we can schedule that later. And I said, probably not though, right? And then she sits me on the bed and she's checking my heart. And I'm like,

And I was like, definitely. You go, I'm probably what? 60%? I got 60% full capacity. And I was like, she goes, oh, you're good. And I was like, you definitely used chat GBT in college. Yeah. And so, and then I was talking to her and she's like, do you have it? Like, do you have problems? Like, do you have any surgeries, anything? I said, no, I'm good. And she goes, okay, we'll see you in a year.

And I said, what the f***? That's what a doctor... You don't... You can go in there, but for you to just... And this was like a Saturday or some shit. Like, your weekend is valuable to you. You love the weekend. You love going out. You love having fun. You love hanging out with us. And you go, I'm gonna go to a doctor. What in... Okay.

Role play with me. Say you went and they found a numerous amount of things wrong with you. They're like, it's strange. Both your ankles are fractured. You got a punctured lung. The ribs are disset. Your neck's... Oh, I'm not knocking because I'll knock for you. Say they found like...

13 things wrong with you and they said hey this new thing came out with artificial intelligence we have a way we can solve all of it we can fix everything wrong with you you'll immediately yield benefits your life will be better everything you'll feel better it's ten thousand dollars one-time lump sum payment today we can have amazing drugs for you you go under for 24 hours you don't feel anything you wake up and everything's fixed are you taking that deal how long is the recovery

Another 24 hours. Yeah, 100%. So, 24 hours, getting it done, 24 hours, you got to stay in the house and do nothing. Yeah, 100%. And I'm great the next day? Good man. Oh, yeah. You're a phantom. Well, the next, next day. Okay, yeah, I would definitely do that. 100%, that's easy. Good man. Yeah. But normally, see, that almost made me mad because you actually were reasonable this time. Sometimes you'd be like, well, I don't know. I kind of like, I mean, my ankles click, but I like them. They're my ankles. I mean, it is kind of like a good icebreaker. My ankles, like...

Whenever I used to go on dates and I'd walk with girls and they'd hear it, they'd be like, is something in your pocket? And I'd be like, no, it's my ankles. And so it's a good icebreaker.

My dislocated ankles. I need a list. I need like a Santa Claus list of all the girls you've ever went on a date with, and we just need to do a group prayer. We need to pray for every one of them because they all have an experience. I also hate—one thing I hated at the doctor's office was the waiting room. It made me feel like I was back in school. It makes you feel more sick when I go. Dude, it's gross. And people are so weird. Oh, my God. They yell their personal information out like, whisper. Goddamn. Goddamn.

Like, why are you saying? I don't need to know what's wrong with you. They go, where's Jill with the jaundice? Jill jaundice 1220. Your appointment's... I'd be like, no. They go, Steve micropenis transplant. Do we have a Steve? He's like... And he gets... He walks up...

No, there's this lady. She didn't like, she was arguing with the receptionist about when her time was to go in. Oh my God. People are so, they think they're so entitled at the doctor's office. It was like early, right? And the lady went up to the counter and the receptionist said, okay, we'll get you signed in, but your appointment's not till 2.30. It's one o'clock right now. And she goes, no. That's like, that's probably not the right thing to say. She goes, no, uh,

She was like, $145. And she goes, no, actually, no, your appointment's at $230. I have it right here in front of me. And she goes, $145? Is that a question? She goes, $230. She's like, you can stay here or you can go back home, but your appointment is at $230. She looks around. She's like, $230.

I said, all right, bro. And then they called me back and I was like, thank God. And then the guy, and one thing about the doctor, I don't like when they notice me. It's like, you're going to see the inside of me. Yeah, I don't want you to. The insides of you? Yeah. I saw the inside of CJ yesterday. Fun fact. I did. Okay. He bent over in front of me. He's going to cut this. You were butt naked and you bent over in front of him. No, he's wearing like fishnets. Okay.

You were in fishnets, you little freak? Dude, his underwear is so see-through. That's his, I know he's not lying, Faith. You were in fishnet draws? Oh my God. Why were they so see-through, though? What, did you just get back from your shift at ecstasy? Huh? What? He's panicking. You got a what?!

You got a little thing on you. So just because you have an ass means you can wear assless chaps. See-through fish... No, he literally was like that. Like, it was weird. My... Oh, my... Okay, this is gonna be a very weird transition. A very weird transition. And y'all, she's your sister, so just relax. I don't want to hear about Liv. Just let me get it out. No, my wife is the longest naked person ever. No, that came in... No, that came out... That came out incredibly strange. She...

Okay, she's- when she's naked, it's the longest time for her to get re-clothed. Okay. That's what I meant to say. She stays late- Oh! She stays naked a long time. Yes. We were literally at our maternity shoot. Okay. The woman's taking pictures. She goes, "Okay, it's time to change into your second fi-" Huh? What kind of freaky ass shit are y'all doing? What do you mean? Y'all taking naked pictures? Yeah! For your baby? Yeah!

Aren't those going on the wall? No, the one with the clothes on. But I had a G-string on. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, no. She said, it's time to change clothes. I'm going to give you all a second, right? Yeah. So she leaves the room. That's hot. And we both change. But for Liv to change, she had to change her bras and everything because it's like a maternity, so a lot of skin's showing. She has her full goodie bags out, right? Good morning. Her jugs are sitting there. She's down to her panties. And she starts scratching her arm. She's like...

And she picks her phone up and goes, and I go, you are butt naked. Put some clothes on. The second I take my pants off, I'm like, and I do not want to be caught dead with my gummy worm sitting here flaccid. There are people that are way too comfortable being naked. She's unbelievably comfortable in her own skin. I love her to death for it, but I'm like, we are literally in someone's home right now. She is one door away from seeing all of you.

That is crazy. And then she's sitting there, she's like, doing tasks? I'm like, what the fuck? Put your clothes on. And changing rooms, I'm quick. I get nervous in there. I hate, oh my God, when our head pokes over the thing because I'm too tall. And they see me reveal my chest. And I'm an idiot. I think just because I can see them, they can see all of me. And there's a big ass wooden door there. But I'll literally be like,

Like covering up. We need to go on a naked retreat together, but in different, in different rooms. No, we should. You and CJ are in one room. Like, like it is at home now. And then I'm in my own room. You, but you have to be naked. Wait, time out. Slow down. You put me and CJ in a, in a, if us three went on a naked retreat. Yeah.

You would put me and CJ in a room and not me and you? I've already experienced your glory. Yeah. I like when you experience it. It's time for CJ. What's a naked retreat? That'll turn you from a boy to a man. What's a naked retreat? I think you get butt-ass naked, you go on this little maybe three-day sabbatical, and you learn to love yourself. Is that a fact? I think so.

I think there is. Is it a boys trip thing or is it a single man's trip? I don't know if it's like a, hey, let's go with the bros, but I think it's just single people go. No, that was on You. They did that. Remember the show You on Netflix? Yeah. What season? The one where they're in LA. Oh. And so Joe went with the dude that does all the shit. Honey.

I was waiting, I was like, holy shit, you're struggling. Joe said, he, Joe went with the dude that did the, uh, the stuff and they made his body. No, they went to the, he went to, it's like, it's like he was into hallucin- No, no, no, no, no.

No, hey, 30 seconds. Hey, we'll pivot. We'll pivot, okay? He's into holistic shit, right? And he is like one of those guys, and he takes vitamins and shit, and his wife was an influencer, a black lady. You don't remember this? No. And they went to the woods, and they tried to have a threesome. Are we thinking of the same show? No, they tried to swap couples. Oh, that's a throuple. No. No, that's you. No, but what? No, it's not. No, that's not. I was wondering what that chair in your room was for. No, no, no, that's a rocker for my soon-to-be son. Okay.

The You Should Know Podcast.

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Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash YSK, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash YSK to upgrade your selling today. That is Shopify.com slash YSK. Now on to the rest of the episode. Can I tell you about what happened before the recording today? Yes. Go craziest thing. Like, I mean,

I've been having a rough day. No, you've been having a rough weekend. Yeah, I know. You've been having a rough, like, 48. I've been having a hard time. So we were coming to record today, right? Me and CJ drive together. You were driving separately. We normally all drive together, but today you wanted to be separate because of your photo shoot or something. So Cam was beating us to the studio. We had to be quick. I was like, sorry, Cam, we're going to be a little late. I have to go charge my car. Not enough charge to get here to the studio today. Me and CJ, we whipped to the Tesla Charger right down the road, right? Yeah.

I plug my car in to charge, right? Okay. No, no, I didn't even plug it in. Oh, my God. No, I reversed into the stall. That's a big-ass spot. You're doing all this for one spot? I reverse into the charging stall, right? It's the first one. A stall? Well, I don't know what they're called. Parking spot. But you call them stalls. And there's no doors. I don't know. What do you call them? There's no doors. No lock. Oh, it's a parking spot. I don't charge it. It's not an Evo one.

Go. You look like Shane Gillis when you did that. Okay, so I reversed into the parking spot to charge my Tesla. I'm talking to CJ, my passenger, my passenger princess, CJ. I'm talking to him. So my eyes are over here opening the door to the left. I press the button. I open the door. I go to take one step, and as I turn, I see something right there. It is a full rat dead with its head blown off.

And my foot was hovering over. His eyes were loose. Brain everywhere. Skull matter everywhere. Somebody stomped that rat. It was the biggest damn rat I've ever seen in my life. Kim. Are you being serious? CJ, did you not look over? It was a fat ass rat. Exploded head. It's like the got a hold of that rat. Oh, I can't say that? No. What? That's what they did. No. No.

Okay. Super no. Okay, we'll just mute it though. We'll just mute it though. Okay. And I didn't even tell you this, CJ, either.

As I was like, I skipped past the rat to go plug in my car. You know, there's that bush right there. There's a full chocolate cake laying there. What the fuck was that? There was a full chocolate cake open. No box. Just sitting there on the thing. Turned sideways. In the same parking spot. Right by the bush. No, it was like right by the bush. Right behind the parking spot. But same general location. Same general location. So then I skip back over the rat. I sit down. I look at my screen.

Charger's not charging. Tesla charger's broken with the dead rat in the chocolate cake. So now I gotta skip back over the rat. I gotta unplug the charger, put it back, skip back over the rat, get in the car, find new charger. I go three spots down. I reverse back into the spot. I say to CJ, hungry. I'm hungry.

I'm like, there's a mall right here, CJ. Let's go get foods. He says, okay, let's go get foods. Plug the charger up. Charger's working. We walk into the mall. Right, food court. That's where food's at in the mall. I see Louisiana chicken Popeyes. Everybody loves it. CJ goes, you'll probably want that one. I said, all right, bet. I said, careful. And so I go into the, I order the Popeyes, right? I order the Popeyes. What do they sell at Popeyes? Chicken. All right. I say, excuse me. I'll take Popeyes.

Three mild tenders. Chicken. She goes, we ran out. I said, what are you selling? What the f*** are you selling in here? What do y'all have, biscuits? What the f*** are we doing? Is this a biscuit store now? Shut down the industry. If you can't have chicken, the one thing that you sell, you don't have? Shut it down. Close the lights off. Go home. Save the man hours. Turn off the electricity. Cut down on the bill. She goes, it'll be five minutes. And I said, I'm late, but... Alright. Oh! That's why I texted you. I said, sorry, bro. Wow. And so...

We get... Five minutes later, I get the Popeye's chicken, right? Grab it. We're shuffling out of the mall. We go back to the charging station. Now, as you can see today, my mind is a little scattered. I'm not all the way there today, right? So I see... The first black Tesla I see...

the first black guy i saw that's what i thought you said that would be if your people said oh no like if cj would tell the story yes yeah so i the first tesla i see looks like mine i go up to it and i'm grabbing the charger out of i'm in a rush so i'm grabbing the thing i'm trying to get it out but it like normally if your phone's connected it'll just unlock i'm grabbing this charger that's not going i'm looking at cj like why aren't you getting in the car i go cj is this not our car he goes no

I said, that's his whole thing. That's the thing about him. He will let you fail. Yes. Right in front of his eyes. He'll let you fail and then go, you should have known. I wouldn't have done it. That is you to the T. Look at him. Stupid little bouncing leg. I was walking up to the passenger side to get in. And I saw somebody sitting in the seat. What? Someone was in the car. And you let him try to take the charging port out for 10 tries. No, then I turned and then he's going, ugh. And I go, not it, not it.

Not it. Are you playing tag? And they say, hey, let's go. Let's go. So there's people in the Tesla that I was trying to get out. He didn't tell me.

And so I panicked. I didn't plug it all the way back in. So they're not charging anymore. They're in there. They're not charging. You got to get out of your car and charge it. You have to fix my mistake on your car. So I'm ducking, running back to my car. I unplug it. I drive off. Now I'm here. The chicken was raw. Wait, you were being for real? You had raw chicken? They sell raw chicken at that Popeye's. Okay. No, first off, Louisiana, the entire state, go to hell. For what they did to my boyfriend, no.

Go to hell. Second, whoever... What was that? You twitched. It's a topic I have. What? It's one of the things I wanted to say to you. You ate raw chicken? No. We're technically boyfriends. What? Yeah, friends that are guys. So you agree? Yeah. Wait, isn't that crazy? Like... No, like, I could walk up to people, introduce myself. This is my boyfriend, Cam. Like, can we start?

low key though right it's pretty bro or oh my god we could also say partner this is my partner no no because the people we are partners we are a tandem people actually say boyfriend you moron people i'd venture to say more people say boyfriend than partner you dummy and the second thing i was gonna say whoever killed that rat broke a charger was eating cake they were on

acid in that charging station. Someone was on serious medical grade drugs. If they had a chocolate cake, no case, no cover. They mushed a rat and they broke a charger. So we are boyfriends. We're boyfriends. We are boyfriends. So okay, deadass, can we make a pact right now to us and the people watching? What? You said we are. There's some things that can live within you and that's gotta be one of them. That doesn't need to be public.

Are we friends that are males? Yes. Boys. Do I have a wife? Yes. Is she my lover, my soul lover, my provider and protector? No. No. But the first two, she is. Now, the simple statement, that is my boyfriend. Yes. That is correct. Yes. We don't have to share that with everyone. Why? What are you scared of? I'm not scared of anything. Then why can't you say it? All right, go. Make your pact. Make your pact. And I'll decide if I want to agree. So you came to... Okay. Okay.

Oh, you low blow mother f***er. You stinky idiot. You weird bastard, but I love you so much. So if you came to Madison Square Garden with me. Oh! And we were, we had to watch John Jones fight in the suite. And like Mark Zuckerberg's in the suite. And I go, hey, this is my boyfriend Cam. You'd be upset?

If we were talking to Mark, Mark Zuckerberg, yeah, I would not let you say boyfriend. Okay, next. If we were talking to the security guard, Thomas. He's my boyfriend. Yeah. But that's not wrong. We are boyfriends. That's okay. We're boyfriends. Would you even want to say you're my boyfriend? Would you want to say that to Mark Zuckerberg? Yes. Why? What am I supposed to say? Honestly, just because you said that, we're not boyfriends. Okay, then what am I supposed to say? Instead of saying this is my boyfriend, what am I supposed to say? Hey, this is my pal Cam. But we're more than that.

This is my business partner, Cameron. That's all I am to you? As business partner? No. This is my best friend, Cameron. Yes. There you go. End it. How many best friends do you have? I don't really have... I kind of stopped the whole best friend hierarchy thing. I mean, if I had to say, there'd only be... Okay. So there's a couple? No. Well... There's a... There's... There's a couple. There's two. Yeah. Two. Okay. I want to be one. Okay.

And I want to be your boyfriend. Is that where boyfriend comes into play? Bro, you can't say that to randoms, though. You just can't. Why, Cam? Because you're not my fucking boyfriend. I don't kiss you. You're not my boyfriend. We have to kiss to be boyfriends? Unless we're in the sixth grade. Are you a boy? Yeah. Are you my friend? No. No.

Yes. Damn it. I can't get out of this one. So we're boyfriends. Okay, we're boyfriends. Say it to the world right now. Look at the camera. No, you say it. I say it. We're boyfriends. That's my boyfriend. Hi, my name's Cameron. This is my boyfriend, Peyton. The fact that I did that on the internet is crazy. What's not wrong? My son is going to see this in months. He's going to have boyfriends. He's going to have boyfriends. I have boyfriends. He's my boyfriend. You his boyfriend, see? Liv's my girlfriend. He's speaking now. That's fine. Your wife is my girlfriend.

No, I knew you were going to do that. Your wife, the mother of your children, is my girlfriend. No, she's not. She is your friend that is a girl. That sounds more immature. Distinct difference. Sounds very thought out. Your dad is my boyfriend. Your dad is my friend, yes? Does he have a penis? He is my boyfriend. Okay. Okay. We're going to go with a low blow. Meemaw, your grandma. That's my girlfriend. Love her. Your mom is my girlfriend. Yeah.

And your dad's my boyfriend. Yeah. Mark would be a great boyfriend. And we're in a trouble. Yeah, impressed. That made it weird. No, that got too far. Now you're talking about my parents. That got too far. No, I didn't mean that. See? Oh my God almighty. Can I please? Okay, you know how we were in Oklahoma this past week? Yes. Can I please tell you stories? You said parents. Dude, Liv's dad. You know Liv's dad? I do know him. He is hilarious. He's funny. He's an OG. Papa T, shout out to you. Shout out to you, Papa T.

We go to a restaurant. It's called Bricktown Brewery. You've been there. I've been there. Okay. It is basically, it's like a better Chili's. It's by the airport, right? No, there's a couple. It's not just one location. But the one you're talking about, yes. You spilled a lot. I'd venture to say you spilled more than you swallowed. That's really the point. To my boyfriend. We go to Bricktown Brewery. Liz's dad, my boyfriend. No, oh, no. Don't say that. No, he'll be like, what the f*** do you mean?

So we go to Bricktown Brewery. It's like an American restaurant for anyone that doesn't know. Did I say something weird? You said brewery. Brewery. That's a hard word for me. Bricktown Brewery. How do you say it? It's a brewery. A brewery. A brewery. Brewery. Brewery. See, now you're f***ing up. Bricktown Brewery. Okay, go ahead. God, that's bad. We went to Bricktown Brewery.

It's an American restaurant. You order regular stuff, right? We go around the table. Liv's dad is last. Liv's sister. I'm going to just do the chicken tenders and share it with my daughter. Okay. Liv's sister. That's my girlfriend. That is my girlfriend. In a different sense for that one. Anyway, goes to Liv. Oh, let me get the little shrimp Alfredo pasta. Comes to me. I'm feeling burger tonight. Let me get the burgers and potato fries. Right? We go around. Normal ass food. It gets to her dad. He goes, let me get the meatloaf.

He ordered meatloaf. Swear to God, in the restaurant, side of mashed potatoes and, like, green beef. Okay? Okay. Dude leaves, walks away, puts the order in. This woman is walking behind us in a flowery blouse. That's hot. No, it's not. Oh, no. No, it wasn't. Flowery blouse. Hey, excuse me. Can I get some more salt and lime for my beer? This lives dead. Okay. She goes, I'm sorry. He goes, oh, just some more salt and lime for the beer. Thank you so much. She goes, what the?

Random woman. She does not work there. Oh, my God. He stopped a random woman. Oh, my God. And said, hey, can you get me some more salt and lime for my beer, please? And thank you. I really appreciate it. Random ass woman. Oh, no. It's just normal as can be. And she literally goes, what? He's like, y'all have salt and lime for the beer. Honey, I don't work here. He goes, oh, I'm sorry about that, man. Have a good day. And she just walks right out. Okay, you skipped over the part. There's two things. Ordering meatloaf.

Criminal behavior. Criminal. Criminal behavior. Even more criminal? A restaurant that sells meatloaf? I said the same thing. How do you have 20 beers on draft and you sell loaves of meat? What is meatloaf? Meatloaf is disgusting and it belongs in prisons and I stand by that. Why? Your mom grew up. I ate meatloaf a lot. And I hate it, Lisa. And it's not because of you, Lisa. But meatloaf is ass.

It's a block of meat. Does that even sound appetizing outside of steak? Is there any regular food? Like, okay, so you would say meatloaf is like a regular dinner food. Sure. Like, it's a common dinner food. Is there any common dinner food that's worse than meatloaf? Ooh, okay. You... I don't know where your stance on it. Yeah, you... You...

Tater tot casserole. I think it's disgusting. You like a tater tot casserole. I'm not going to lie. Never had that. Don't even know really what a casserole is. I was about to say. I've never even seen you eat a casserole. But I love tater tots. A tater tot casserole is like cheese, tater tots, put in a glass pan, baked at about 450 for a certain amount of time. And you don't like that? For dinner? No. That's fantastic.

That is not good. A tater tot casserole, that's some shit you bring to a potluck. Well maybe if you want me to make that for my family, and put it on a dinner plate with a charger under it. Maybe it's because I never had it, so I can't really speak on it. But you know what a common dinner that I don't like? What? Lasagna.

I think lasagna is a very hit or miss situation. Lasagna is hit as hell. No, most of y'all miss. Lasagna is always hit. No, most of lasagna is miss. If I'm not getting a corner piece of lasagna, I don't want it. Keep the dish. Sorry. No, see, that's a first world problem and you're being a bougie bastard. Let's break lasagna down. You like noodles? No, but we can look past that. You like meat? Of course you do. You like sauce? Of course you do. You like cheese? Yeah. You like lasagna? Yeah.

No, I don't. 75% of the dish you agree upon, 25% is the deal breaker, or is it the middle piece? No, okay, let me tell you. It depends on how you make it, and a lot of y'all's pans smell like your cat. I'm not going to lie. Y'all need to stop letting your pets in your kitchen because a lot of y'all's pans don't smell good, and that's where a lot of lasagna... Whose pans are you sniffing? Are you a kitchen cop? Anytime somebody's got me a lasagna, I always smell the odor of your dish.

And so I have a weird thing with lasagna. And I don't know if y'all lazy when y'all make lasagna or y'all just got the government-assisted lasagna, but the middle shouldn't be cold. I'm not going to lie to you. A lot of the lasagna I eat, the middle is cold as hell, brother. Cook the full damn thing. Who is cooking? These got to be women that are just trying to impress you. I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying, where are you eating this lasagna at?

Friends' houses? Friends' houses! Let's go through that. Who? Growing up.

Oh, okay. Been a long time. Yes. Okay, so your friends have bad pans. They smell bad. They're dirty. They smell like cats. Dude, when you said cat, my grandma used to make chicken spaghetti. It looked like you took your neighborhood cat and threw it in a blender. Oh, my God. No, that was very graphic. Oh, my God. Like the orange cats. It was like if you massacred Garfield. That's what the chicken spaghetti looked like. What's wrong? Stop it. No, it was orange, but there was like some sauce in it. Okay, but stop it. She had black olives that looked like the eyeballs. What was she making? What was she making?

It's chicken spaghetti. What's chicken spaghetti? She also made campfire donuts. It was really just like a poor donut. But you're an advocate of lasagna. You got some good lasagna, you know? Lasagna's fire as hell. I don't know. Breadstick on the side, glass of Cabernet. Oh, no, I've never had lasagna as a 21 and up. See? I've only had lasagna as high school was the last time I had lasagna. Or maybe at a cafeteria. You... DM...

The amount that you piss me off with your food takes, right? It is unbelievable. Because you are 25. Yes, sir. And you only eat nice if we go to nice places. Where else am I supposed to eat nice? Do it on the daily. Where? Hey, substitute Freddy's, go to an Olive Garden. Olive Garden's not nice. It's nicer than Freddy's. No, it's really not.

I think Freddy's is more expensive than Olive Garden. First off, it's not. I think so. And Olive Garden gives you the upgrade to give a $6 you can take a meal home. It's really good when you have a parent getting home late from work. I used to do that for my father in high school. Wait, $6 for a whole meal? Yeah, I'd go to Olive Garden with my youth group friends. Olive Garden's cheaper than Freddy's. It's an add-on. It's an add-on. It's not just $6 for a thing of Alfredo. I'm not going to lie.

Olive Garden is not that good. Can we talk about that? I think we were weird. Honest to God, growing up and maturing is realizing Olive Garden is kind of water. We were gypped as a kid. We were. Just because they gave you a shit ton of breadsticks and a lot of salad. Name one dish from Olive Garden that you remember that was like, damn, that was fire. The Tour de France. The Tour de France is fire. My God, you've never had it. I'm talking to the kid again.

Name one dish, I name it, he's like, you didn't say hamburger. I didn't know what you're talking about. That's what I eat. Because I'd get full on the breadsticks in the salad. To hell with what you're doing. They would toss my salad in front of me. They would sit there and toss my salad. You were sitting there. No, a little more. They were sitting there tossing my salad with my family next to me at Olive Garden. You ever got your salad tossed next to your family? Nope. Never got it. In a French ambiance restaurant? Nope.

It's not French. It's Olive Garden. It's Italian as Italian can be. You said no French restaurant. There's no beignets. Isn't that when you poop it? What? That's a bidet. Oh. A bidet. What's a beignet? You just asked me on the internet, have you ever got your salad tossed next to your family in an olive garden?

I got my, dude, you ever got a good, you ever found a good salad tosser at Olive Garden? Oh my God. I would toss the shit out of my salad. The bottom would be at the top, the middle would be at the sides. Clean that whole bowl. That's my favorite part is getting my salad toss at Olive Garden. It's the only reason I went. And you just leave feeling new. Oh. And then you would tip them real good and be like, that's for that salad tosser. Oh, you'd tip them? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he got a tip more of you. If he tosses your salad, like, I need to text him again. I'm talking about tossing salad. No, I know. Oh, my God. I got so drunk the other night. I started, I was looking up trivia, and I love it.

weirdo let's just start hey you're the guy at the party there you're like oh dude i'm wasted let's do quizlet yeah all right let's start there i literally got drunk the other night in oklahoma we were watching nba uh her dad was like hey you want to drink i was like of course because i'm kind of scared if i say no to you i'm kidding but we're sitting there drinking the night goes on and i'm feeling great and at some point i looked down and there's

The Texas fun facts on my phone. And I'm not 100% sure how it got there. Wait, so you were drunk when you discovered it or the next morning you discovered it? No, no, I was actively drunk and I don't remember looking up. I just remember playing Clash Royale. And it was on there. I looked down and instead of an evoed royal giant, the Republic of Texas was founded in 1836. And I was like...

Alright, tell me about it. So I look down, bro. I just have some stats for you. Okay. I took a screenshot, and I want you, because you are a very non-gullible guy. No, at all. When you hear these, you're going to call bullshit on a couple of them. You want me to try to debunk them? I just want to see what you think, okay? Okay.

The entire world population could fit inside Texas, assuming the population density was the same of New York City, meaning 27,000 every per square mile. What the f*** did you just say? I think I might be drunk now. I just f***ed up. What did you just say? The entire world population, 7.8 billion with a B, could fit into the state of Texas, assuming the population density was

Is the same of New York City, which is 27,000 people per square mile. So you put 27,000 people in every mile. No. The whole world could fit in Texas. Comfortably? No, they didn't say comfort. No, I kind of believe it. So if Texas were to wipe every building, oh my God, oh my God.

I didn't know there was writing on my shoulder. I thought there was a bug. Deadass, that scared me. You said there was a caterpillar? I don't know what it was. What'd you call it? I'm messing up, bro. It's 2nd Timothy. It's a great verse on your shoulder. Nice. I think I have that tattoo. That is... What is that? Wait, wait, wait! When'd that get there? What the...

What is happening? What are the odds of that? Maybe they did that on purpose. What are the odds of that? I think they did it on purpose. Oh, my God. It's a fan shirt. Okay, but when they see your chest. I don't know. I thought they said you got second Timothy on your shoulders. I think I got it. What a coincidence, huh? Hell of a coincidence. Oh, my God. But as I was saying, yes, if you were to wipe out all of Texas, like the buildings and stuff, and you just put a bunch of people like sardine together, I think it could happen. I believe that one. Okay, here we go.

El Paso is closer to the Pacific Ocean than it is to Texarkana, Texas. I believe that. 100%.

Texarkana is way up there. El Paso is way down here. But think about this. There's a part of Texas. Oh, no, no, no. Past Los Angeles. There's a part of Texas that would clear L.A. before it hits the other side of our own state. That's insane. That's how big Texas is. Texas is a big state. If Texas was its own country, it would be the 40th largest out of the 193 in the world. Bigger than every country in Europe. I heard that, yep. King Ranch is the largest ranch in Texas.

And in the entire United States at 1,200 square miles, it is bigger than the state of Rhode Island alone. Wait, that's right here, right? That's where they filmed Dallas. King Ranch, I believe so. No, can't be. I don't know. No, there's no way there's that much equity right here. There's not Rhode Island up the street. Rhode Island can't be down the street. Yeah, no, Rhode Island is here. To all you Rhode Islanders, suck it. No, I'm not going to lie. We drove through that little weird-ass part of the country for tour. It was like Delaware, Hampton.

New Jersey. Hampshire. Hampshire? The one that Joe Biden's from. New Hampshire. New Hampshire. Not the old one. The new one. Dominican Republic. Not. Nope. Nah. One of the little ones. Nope. That'd be Rhode Island. Idaho. No. No.

There's an I. There's a Maine up there. And we didn't go to Maine. Oh, yeah, we did. We did not go to Maine. You have to go to Maine to get to D.C. CJ, you weren't there. Maine's the highest point of our country. Maine's up there. We did not go to Maine. Okay, anyway. We were driving through there, right? And we would drive through these whole states in like 30 minutes. I'd be like, let's knock it down. Let's knock this whole thing down. Hey, make them one. Call it the new eastern state. Yeah, I think a lot of those are pointless. Love y'all, though. Thank you. We'll see y'all on tour. Hey, we have a barn bigger than y'all, bitch.

Hmm. Okay, wait, can I say something real quick? And I do like these facts, but I'm... No, I'm sorry. Okay, keep going. No, go. I'm saying I'm sorry. For what? Me. Doing what? Never mind. I thought that was going a different place. Continue. No. Oh, that's what that does. I can sit up now. No, I want to be lower. I need to go back home. Yeah, no, you need to go home home.

It really pissed the piss out of me. God, you're sweating, you're crying. Okay. Get to what you need to say. I've been hallucinating when I wake up. It's dead ass I've been happening. It happened. It's been happening a lot. It started at Kane's house. I want you to continue, but just know that I was going to tell you I hallucinated this week. Yeah.

Damn you. Go, go for it. Deadass. Go for yours first. So it started, we were in Tennessee, we were staying at Kane Brown's house. So I was sleeping, right? And we were all in that same room. Oh. What? No. Yeah, we were. Yes. Yes. Then what? I said, oh, not no. Oh. Oh. Okay. So I was sleeping, and I always wake up in the middle of my sleep. I never get a good night's rest. Yeah. I'm tired. That's troublesome. All right. And so...

The first night, you know I was facing y'all's bunks, right? Everybody's bunks is over here. And there's a lot in that room. There's so much happening in that room. A lot of things standing and sitting. Sure? There's three people dead asleep. So I woke up. I woke up at like 445. And I looked. And I could have sworn I saw a horse head standing over your bed. I swear to God. And I literally was like this.

And normally, you know, you can blink and like go like that and it will go away. I kept going and it was still there and I was like, there's a horse in here. And I was going like this and I was scooting back on the bed. And then I like literally started like moving outside the bed. And then I think it was just a pole and something was hanging off of it. And it did look like a horse. So I said, I'm not crazy about that. But then two nights ago, I woke up to a little girl at the end of my bed. Swear to God. No.

Swear to God, you know the tree I put in my room? The tree in your room? You have a tree in your room? Oh, the plant. Okay, what's the difference? So I woke up at 545. Seeing shit now? Hearing shit. I woke up at 545, right? I wake up, and right there in the trees there, and it literally looked like a little girl with long hair, and she was like looking at me.

I started doing like that and I jumped back and I kept doing like this but I wore my contacts for three weeks straight so I couldn't really like wipe my eyes to make it go away and so this little ass girl almost shat her ass like she was right there but and then it was just a tree. You're seeing girls in horse heads. Yeah. I'm really scared to wake up man. Al Capone? Who are you? What'd he do? Prohibition right? Mobster.

Yes. That's what I've heard. The mob, though. Yeah. You're seeing, what are you going to see? Money next? Maybe that's what the rat was. They were sending me a message.

Oh my God, you're being followed. Oh my God. I don't care if they do take me. No, don't say that. No. Don't say that. We all care. We don't want you to go. Me neither. We don't want you to go. Say, I don't want to go. I don't want to go unless you take me to Miami or Columbia. I don't want to go. I don't want to go unless you take me to Miami or Columbia. That'd be pretty fun. No, that wouldn't. You'd be, your head would be bagged. You'd be in the back of like a Ford Focus and you'd wake up in the desert.

butt ass naked who do you think would do better if we got kidnapped 100% me I think they would like me more 100% they would like you cause you'd be easy as shit what do you mean I'd be easy you first off one of your biggest fears is being kidnapped yes they're gonna have to

me up to get me in that car that's all i'm gonna say i'm giving every ounce yes of energy of fight that i've ever had my body it has all been saved for this one moment because i'm a passive guy it has all been saved for this uh there's no you have to tase me shoot me tranquilize me for me to even get in okay but say you're already you they got you you'll just be like you'd be like hey

they just snuff your ass in the car wait help and they just take you and toss you in the trunk and then you just be sitting there i'd be uh the muffler would fall off on the interstate i'd literally be going banging on the i okay but you would say you i'm not going out you wouldn't do well being kid if they take you out they'd be like he's too much of a problem exactly i'm not gonna be that much of a problem i want to be alive i'm gonna learn what you want you want money you

You want my parents? Take them. Hey, first off, wow. Hope y'all heard that. Hey, if they're kidnapping you, you need to be alive. That's kind of the reason of kidnapping. Yeah, I know, but if you're causing a scene like you breaking their muffler, they're going to be like, oh, he's better off gone. Pa-pow. And then they go pa-pow from their boss. Pa-pow. You don't kidnap someone just to kill them.

You kidnap them because you need information. But maybe you were just a pawn in their game. You're not that high in their game. Maybe they needed you to get to somebody else, but they could still get to somebody else going through you. The only person they could get through that's higher than me through me is you. So they'd kill me to get you? What did you want in Mama Liv? Mama Liv. What do they want from her? Griping? Griping?

What do they want from her? Decorations and complaints? I'm kidding, fam. I love you. Okay. But no. You would suck. Oh, Mark would kill them all. Mark would get rid of them. I would suck? Defend your... No, no, no. You tell me why I would be worse and I'm going to tell you. Okay. I would be better because I would comply. I would say, yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am. I'm listening. See...

You have the control. I am bonded like now. Bondage. Not the kind that I like. This is not sanctioned in the bedroom. I don't want to do this in the back of a van. There's no red glowing lights. So I'm tied up in the back of this van. Look, I'm tied. They got me. There's not much I can do at this point. I'm going to just listen to you. Right? Exactly. If I'm just screaming, causing a scene, it's taking energy away from me. I don't know when the next time I'm getting food or water is. Let me conserve. I'm becoming fasted.

I'm fasting myself. Holistic energy. And so now, because now, I don't know how long they're going to have me. I can just get my power from the sun. Like, that's all I can use now. They're not going to feed me sunflower seeds, right? So I'm tied up in the back of their van, right? All tight and stuff. And I'm just like, I pray they don't want my butt. So that's all I'm worried about. Just don't get my butt. Just don't take my butt. You can't have my butt. And I get a little car sick, so I might ask them for a ton. You might throw up on yourself. Yeah, you might vomit. Hey, you got some anti-acids? Yeah.

Hey, you got a Zantac? Shut the fuck up. And so I'll just like, I'll just like chill. Like I'm not going to cause a problem. They're going to be like, wow. I'd be like a good baby. Like I'd be like, he doesn't cry much. Doesn't really wake us up in the middle of the night. I think it's opposite. I think when you become scared, you become jitterish. When you become jitterish, you speak. I do. So...

What? There's just so much conviction. I do. I do. So, scared leads to jitters. Jitters leads to speaking. Speaking leads to annoyance. Yes. So, they're going to have you bounded in a chair, butt naked, shriveled penis, eyes, one of them black, the other one covered. You're going to be sitting there naked, alone, afraid. Yes. And then...

You're going to be so jittery and anxious. You're going to start speaking, but you have no clue what the room even looks like, so you're just going to ask random things. Hey, has John Cena won yet? Do you mind turning on the game? And then they're going to become very annoyed with you. You're going to try to crack a couple jokes. Hey, I got money. I know a couple people. I can get what you need. But then they're going to hate you. You think they're going to love you. They're going to hate you. They're going to respect my game. They're going to respect the craft of being kidding. No, they're going to be tired of you kicking them. Because I'm not going out. I'm going...

I'm going for it. They're going to be tired of you kicking them around and trying to fight. They know you're going to lose and they're just going to use all their taser juice on you. No. And you know you don't know me because I'm not going to talk. If I'm around people I don't know, I'm silent. I don't care how nervous I am. Not when you're butt naked and blindfolded. I'd be like... And you could smell like a branding iron in the background. I would look at you like this. Impressive? No? Is it what you thought? You go...

Wait, where is it? No, it's a big fear of mine. There's exactly. And I'm not even afraid. Let me. Okay. I got kidnapped to be terrifying. Yeah. But I'm not going out. And the fact that I am fighting so much is going to give me longevity on the back end. Because they know. What are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? My lazy eye? No. What are you laughing at? You can headbutt this shit. I would. I would. What the? They just pass out. I'm like, no, wait. At least just let me shut my mouth.

Right here to their nose. Now he's bleeding, leaking. I take the toothpick that I always carry, I undo my handcuffs. They're down here. I undo my- I go- And they're referring to your chibli bits as the toothpick. I go- I'm kidding. I go- Okay, no. Oh my god, you get sexual when you're tired. What? You get sexually deprived when you are sleeping.

You and I were not... Yes or no? Oh, your ass is in the hot seat, brother. Go ahead and put that little ball cap on. Wait, why did he just say yes? Because he knows it. He knows it. Yes or... Oh, shut up. Yes or no? When I call you late at night and you're tired... Yes or no? Do you show me...

sacred areas of your body with, with, that's not fair without asking this up here without asking it's because without hinting toward it's because the reaction is you like it. Oh my God, you do it first. No, you willingly and openly show me your body. Stop.

Stop! That was a hell of an echo. Stop. You get sexual when you're tired. It's not when I'm tired. It's like you yawn and you get a bit of an erection. It's because they're like, they're one and one. It's because you're boring on the phone and I gotta like, I gotta make this fun for somebody. So I just show you my naked body. You know like when you go like this to a kid and they laugh? It's like when I show you my c***. You're like, I go, wah! And you go, ooh. No, no, no, no, no.

But we need to fix that. Do you not? Okay. Would you rather me never show you my naked body again or never FaceTime me again? Answer it. Shut the hell up then. Thanks. Yeah. I like FaceTime. Not for that, but I like FaceTime. I like it. Can we play a game? I love game. Do you love game? I love game. You love game? Yes. You love the one game? Yes.

Which game are we playing? I hate you. We're going to play a game called the adjective game. Okay. Oh my God. We did that on Patreon. We did this on Patreon. But now it's just you and me. Oh my God. No more Zellman. Thank God, right? The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by our friends at PDSDead.

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Alright, so we played this on Patreon. That was already out. It was with our whole crew. And we used a lot of nice words to the very end. Complete opposite game today. It's you versus me. Me versus you. Complete negative adjectives. Okay, so you're going to read an adjective, right? Yes. I am reading an adjective. I'm going to say 3, 2, 1. And we say if it better fits you or me. Okay, bet. I think I'm going to win. Is there a winner?

Uh, there could, yeah, yeah. Whoever cries last? Yeah, no, whoever goes home with any dignity, they won. Okay. I don't have any. I'm already running low, too. Here we go. Brainless. Brainless. 3, 2, 1, cam.

Okay, no, no, no, no. Let me explain it. You are absolutely maddening. Internet perspective, they're going to think me because the clips get twisted and they take me out of context. They don't know me. If they knew you, they would call you brainless. No shot. Cam, you are an airhead on a day-to-day basis. What? Cam, you are like a four-year-old in a 34-year-old's body. Sometimes I'm not 34, first off. And sometimes you are completely absent from yourself. Whenever I'm going through depression. No, no, no.

No, no. There could be normal things and you're just like, no, I'm not. Name one. When I'm anxious, I lose control of my hands and feet. That's fine. Who cares?

So what? Don't eat them. You do? That's not even what I'm talking about. You can be brainless sometimes. You will just completely forget things. You will misplace. How many times has he lost his phone, his wallet, anything? I don't know where I put it. Dude, it was right here. It's got to be here somewhere. Let me check the inside cameras on my vehicle. Because I have to take care of y'all all the time. Holy shit, that has nothing to do with us. That has nothing to do with us. That has nothing to do with us. You lose your own shit. Okay, this is Cam 99% of the time. Dude, the new skeleton army.

That's not brainless! Somebody's talking to him for 30 seconds, 30 minutes trying to get his attention. Cam. Cam. No, dude, I like your... Cam. Dude, what? I've been talking to you. No, you haven't, dude. I've been praying. Sorry. Give me 10 seconds of my life. Is anybody else hungry? That's Cam. Okay. Okay. Here's Payton. Here's Payton. Hey, P. Hey, P. Hey, Payton.

Wait, you need something, bro? Oh, no, I was just calling your name for about a minute. Oh, sorry. F*** you. That's you. Bro, I will at least be playing a game. You will literally just not f***ing love someone else. And you don't care enough to be responsive. That kills me. And then, oh, hey, I was supposed to be there 10 minutes ago. I can't find my wallet. It'll take me like five minutes, though.

One hour later. Do you all know the my wallet is man? I think you Have your wallet. I never have you on In the same spot every time you idiot He always leaves that shit and it blames. He always plays the body All right

Brainless, brainless. CJ, do you have a, you can be either the tiebreaker or it'll be a tie. Tiebreaker would be a tie. And it's fine. We both, do we agree that he has an honest, that he can speak on? All right, go. Three, two, one. Pay me. All right. Here we go. Brainless. Ah, fuck. I'm going to lose this. I'm going to lose this. That was so funny.

I'm gonna lose the second one. Okay, what is it? Boring. Three, two, one, paint. No, I'm just kidding. It's me. It's me. I had my first piece of sugar when I was 33. Dude, I haven't walked outside on my own since I was 17. It's like, dude, I wasn't allowed to watch Tyler Perry movies until I was in college. Are you kidding me?

Hey, okay, even though I voted me, you have a case for boring too sometimes. Sometimes I call you, and this f***er, he's so engulfed in doing nothing that he gets mad at someone else for it. I go, hey bro, what's up? You're like, what do you want? You won't even share with me what you're doing. I'm like, what are you doing right now? You go, what the f*** do you want, Cam? What do you want from me? And I'm like, bro, what?

what are you doing? And you just go, all right, bro. I'm literally about to hang up. It's like you're doing so much of nothing that you're like embarrassed to say it or something. It's not that. What is it? It's I just want to be doing nothing. I feel that. That phone call is doing something, so I'm just like, let me go back to my nothing. I feel that. It's when I'm checked out of the world. Like, I forget I'm on earth. Dude, but those are the best times. It's the best. That's why I want to be in it. When you're so checked out. Okay, here we go. It's so funny. Here we go. You make me sound like an ass.

Hey, I'm not making anything up. But it's all out of love. It's all out of love. I don't do that to anybody else but Cam and CJ. It's all out of love. Okay. Oh, shit. All right. Next one. Ready? Yep. First off, so it's 1-1. I think so. It's 1-1. I won the first one. You won the second one. Here we go. 1-1. This is the funniest game. Next one. The word is heartless. 3, 2, 1. Peyton.

You're heartless. You are absolutely criminally... No, it's you. No, it's you. It's deadass you. No, it's deadass you. I have literally... I have been nicknamed St. Vincent. Okay. I am a very warm man. You are. You are, but you lack empathy. You do lack empathy for strangers. That's because I don't know... So that's why I'm heartless. If I know you... Okay, if I don't know you, I still love you. You're heartless to strangers. No, no, no. And you're heartless to the ones you love. How am I heartless to you? You'll literally be like...

No, okay. Not going to save the story because I can't, but you know, if someone crosses you...

Instead of the biblical way we were instructed to do, forgive, appreciate, and love thy neighbor as thyself, you will be like, I hope they absolutely fly off of a bridge in a Dodge Durango and their car explodes. That's not heartless. What is it? It's not heartful. No, if they did something to me, they deserve something back to them. You don't always have to get your retribution. No, that is the bigger thing. Like Uncle Ben. Yeah.

Who are you? With great responsibility. Yeah. What are you talking about? I'm not heartless. No, Cam, you are heartless. No, you're heartless. No, Cam. Cam. You are heartless sometimes. Cam, when you and Ryan get together in a public setting...

and you see somebody that maybe not particularly. I've already admitted that's bad. It is my natural comedic bone. If there's a quick joke, if there's low-hanging fruit, hey, I'm hungry. I'm a big back. I'm grabbing the fruit. Cam is more Harley because he'll just dog on a stranger. As to the friends, he'll say it. You act like you don't think the same thing in your head. I think it. So then we're not better. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Because I have the heart to not say it, and I'll be like, God, forgive me for these thoughts. You'll be like, look at that.

No, I don't. No, I don't. I really do need to stop that. And the best part is if you know me and you actually know me, you know I mean no harm by it. He cracks jokes with friends. I just crack jokes constantly. I think I won that, to be honest. You thought you were going to win that. Okay, I'll give that. You're up 2-1. Just because somebody crosses me, they are going to get their curmudgeons. That's still not a word. Next word. Here we go. Grouchy.

Three, two, one. Peyton, absolutely, absolutely, unequivocally grouchy as you. Okay, name some times I've been grouchy. Every day. Every day. How? Oh my God, if the slightest inconvenience goes wrong, you are pissed. You're ready to box. You're ready to curse someone. You win. You can get grouchy. Name an example.

If something wrong here happens, if something wrong at the house happens. Name something. If a small inconvenience. If I show up, oh my God, if I show up to a TikTok live that didn't have a set time. He didn't say we're on at 11.05. He just said, hey, I'm getting on now. And I show up at 11.05, 11.06. Oh, look who's late again. Give it up for Cam. Big late, big back fat, back late idiot. Here he is. Big late idiot.

Those, here if something goes wrong, if... I don't think I'm that grouchy. I think if I'm prompted to be upset at something, I get upset. Oh, I would agree with that. But I think it happens... I think it happens often. So...

I'm not going to lie. If Liv was here. I'm not going to lie. You didn't have a single point against me. So I think we win. You're lucky Liv's not here. I think I win. What would Liv say? Because she do say. I do.

One month's gotta go. She does say you are grouchy. You do get grouchy sometimes. Very rarely. No, it's actually not too rare. It's whenever, because your thing, whenever it's not like something doesn't go how you think, you're just like, you lose it. I do. And I admit to that fully. And that happens more than what I have. Hell no. Well, if y'all didn't mess up, I wouldn't be. Are you nuts? See right there, deflecting. Okay, grouchy, me, that's two to two, right? Right? Yeah, I think so.

No, two to one. It was two to one. No, I won the first one. You won two in a row. Okay, yeah. And I won that one, too. Last one, tiebreaker. Here we go. And I'm joking. We're all joking. We love each other. All right, last word. Who is more ghoulish?

Like a ghoul. What's a ghoul? Like a goblin? Like a ghoul. Like a goblin. Like a creep. Like who's more nasty? Like an orc. Like who's more nasty? Just nasty, weird, freaky. Okay. Who's more nasty? Three, two, one. You. Payton, 100%. No, no, no. Don't take podcast jokes. There's no shot. I'm not taking podcasts. You're taking podcast jokes. No, I'm taking real life. I know. Real life.

Real life. What do I do in real life? What do you do in real life? You are an absolute goblin. How? You sleep with knives in your bed. It's not creepy or gross. You eat burgers on your own chest. You scratch your genitalia and you'll be like, dude, my breath smells like pico de gallo and lovemaking. And you say shit like that. You are a goblin. Cam. There's no doubt in my mind. You're a goblin. Cam, you take pictures of your fecal matter and send it in group chats with your friends. There's more people that do that than don't. No, there's not.

No, there is not. That's just considered gross. That's not goblin. You said gross, nasty. That's gross, nasty. Okay, that's gross. Okay, that? Cam, you snot rocket in public on people. Oh!

You have no manners. You spit everywhere. I do it in a napkin. You spit everywhere. I spit on concrete. I do that in a napkin. Cam doesn't wash his hands. That's it. That's it. You don't wash your hands. Yes, I do. You don't check if you're done wiping. You're walking around mud butt 24-7. That's why you're always buying new drawers. You buy new drawers. Instead of doing laundry, he buys new clothes. Because my laundry machine doesn't work. They have places for that called the laundromat.

Laundromat. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. You ghoul. You think I'm going to leave? I have expensive clothes. I'm not going to leave that in a laundromat. You have expensive clothes, but you have seven months worth of food in your house. Trash. Everywhere. Ghoul. Oh, my God. That's CJ. So you were CIA spotless before Rat Boy came. Yes.

Holy shit. You were spotless before you came? Yes, like a spotless monkey. What are all those weird stains that pop up on your wall with black light? What are those? That is not me. You know what that's from. You know what those stains are from. That's not my stains, Kim. You know those stains. They're not my stains. They're not my stains. There's a reason for it. Kim, who washes their hands more, me or you? Me.

Cam, you pick your nose. Because if there's a booger. That's gross. What am I supposed to do? Just get a napkin, a tissue like an adult. Like you were taught in preschool. Kleenex. I wasn't taught that. But if I pick it, I get rid of it on a napkin. No, you don't. Yes, I do. I remember the side of Rhonda. What, do I ball it up and put it in my pocket and save it for later? What do you mean no, I don't? I remember the side. What, do I let it crust on my finger? I remember the side of Rhonda. I remember her. The side of Rhonda. That's gross. So first off, you were in my passenger seat.

Where are my boogers over there? I've never driven- Where am I going? I've never driven your car. What are you talking about? If there was boogers and shit in my passenger, no one spent more time in the passenger than you. You creepy goblin ghoul f***er. That's you. You da- I've never driven your car. You get erections around me. In your red basketball shorts. When we were roommates. And you opened the door. That was not because of you. I knocked and you opened the door.

No, Ken, you were creepy. I saw something that I didn't know. We can say the story. I saw something I was not supposed to see that day. We can say the story. What do you mean? I was talking to that girl. Yeah. And she stayed in that room for like a week. You knew she was in there. I had to use my bathroom.

You had the bathroom in your room. All I had was Black Ops 4 and my hats that I had on the wall using thumbtacks. I had my Turtle Beach headset on. I was playing the game. I got up.

I had to pee and little did I know somebody rockin knockin the boots and you answer the door bricked up with shorts on and no undies and that is your fault not mine you could say hey bro go downstairs you could have given me a warning you just said what's up and I said ah ah no it's because I thought

No, it's not my fault! 'Cause you knew she didn't live at that campus, so she would only come on those weekends. And you know what would happen on the weekends. We didn't see each other, we missed each other. So I'm not allowed to piss? Go downstairs! What if I had to brush my teeth? Use some deodorant! My human rights! Be a dog! I use my human rights because you're being a dog!

You're supposed to be a dog over college. What are you, knocking boots 10 hours a day? There's supposed to be quick sessions and get her out. I'm kidding. That's bad. It's supposed to be. She didn't even need to live in that room with us, Cam. It's supposed to be. You have pictures when they're in that room. It's supposed to be a little bit of sex, a little bit of Netflix. You were just sex. No. We watched Prisoners on DVD. Oh, my God. You had a DVD player?

You had a fridge TV and you had a Sony DVD player. Where the hell was that at the whole time? Under the bed. Under the bed? Where all my snacks and ibuprofens were. How long was your fucking HDMI cord? Under the... The DVD player was cooked up to the TV that was eight feet away from your bed. It's a poor... And an elevated surface and it was connected. You had a portable DVD player. It wouldn't open like a laptop. What, in the 90s? Why...

It was like 2019. You had Netflix on your TV and you have a portable DVD player. Yeah. I miss her. Was I supposed to woo some bitches over? What was that going to do? Hey, let's go watch DVDs. I miss her, bro. She's married now. She is married. Still is she? Husband's a... Nah, that's back to the empathy and I'm sorry, but...

Is she still married? Let's just say you look better. No, she is. Very much married. Popped up on my feed the other day. Oh, really? You still follow her? Yep. Can't post all my exes. Let's put that out there. No, I don't. No, I don't. Except for one of them. No, you do follow all of them. No. Yes, you do. No. Who do you not follow? Don't say the name. Main one.

Oh, yeah, that's different. Because I have the OG and then her. But y'all weren't never like fully, fully. You had great feelings for her, but you said, oh, God, she's fucked. Oh, my God, she's fucked. Oh, man. Okay, that was the additive game. That was absolutely hilarious. And I think to continue to tease people and squeeze their nipples, I think it's only right

that we solve one case here today of...

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All right, greetings, ladies and gentlemen. We're back again with another segment of the greatest love doctor in the world, Dr. P.

More claps. Clap your hands. He asked for claps. Quicker ones on yours. Quicker.

It was a bit much. Apologies. I used to be a circus boy. Apologize. That's where we found you? The circus? Circus. You saved me. You saved my soul. Save our ship. SOS. Too much talking already. Already. So if you don't know already, for the people that aren't on Patreon, I have my own show over on Patreon. And the first episode of it has come out and it was about 35, 40 minutes long. A lot has happened. As you can see on fourth camera, we're missing one of our students. Yes. Right?

He misbehaved. Oh, I'm so sorry again, Lord. Honestly. Not your time. You're right. And once I'm done explaining, then you go. You're right. Are we all right? He wasn't behaving last time. If you want to go see it, it's a wild episode.

Secretary Kim got spanked on his behalf. So anything you want to say now? No, I actually don't recall spanking. I just remember a massive fall in the parking garage and my bum hurt. There was no spanking, Lord. You did exactly what you're supposed to. Yeah, I know. No, I know. Are you trying to... I don't need your approval to tell me. No, you're right. No, you're always right. So how are you feeling about him? That was my better pupil. Anyway, I told you he had more promise. He finished top of his class. That was a bit much. I'm sorry.

That was much. Are you feeling confident? May I speak? God, see. He remembered. He said, honest to God, he directly spoke to you, so he obviously wants a response. He doesn't waste his time speaking to the walls. So if he speaks, you immediately respond. It's when he does not speak to you, when you ask for permission. Continue, Lord. Yes. Speak! What's wrong? Are you mute?

Speak! Get him out. Wipe that stupid smirk off your bong little face. Can you repeat the question, please? I honestly forgot the question. Me too. You made the doctor- Why is he speaking? He made the doctor forget his question. Secretary, what did I ask? Not only have you made Sire forget his own f***ing thoughts, which that in itself is remarkable, but you don't remember the question. You're starting to piss me off like the little freckle f*** we kicked out last week.

And you better watch it. And you get awfully red when you do that stupid smirk. And I don't want to see you. Next time wear pants. Your calves are way too big. You have too big of calf muscles to be in the position you're sitting in. You will wear your pants and you will show up on time. And for God's sake, if you forget one more time, I will literally stick you with a wooden spike and you will never forget again.

Do you understand? Yes, sir. I won't forget again. Why is he calling you, sir? I'm not the f***ing sir. He's sir. I'm Guy to you. I am Guy, headmaster secretary. Yeah, what else? He is the... What the f*** was that? What did you just say? You went to American University, didn't you? That's slang. Do you have... What else? Hey, who has the question for me? Him or him? It's me. You. It's me. Okay. Okay.

Read me the question. I heard him speak too much. He's going to be with the freckled guy in a little bit. He's stupid. Here we go. We're going to replace him with the freckled guy next time. Is he? Did you just... Before I get him. To the highly gracious himself.

You are speaking down to the quest giver himself. This man is a sage and you are quite literally equivalent to the bubble gum he stepped on on his way into the office. You do not speak...

unless spoken to. You do not drink unless given water and for God's sake you better go a week without eating food because you live, breathe and die for the very spot you're sitting in now. Do I need remind you? 7,000 applicants and you in freckle were chosen for whatever godforsaken reason and you are now bollocking on your position.

You sit there, you digest what is spoken about, and then you speak when spoken to. Is that understood? Do you? Oh, my God, I'm sorry. Is that understood? Understood. Understood, sir. Lord. There we go. There we go. All right. Dr. P, you got a question. Why is your shirt in the shot? What do you...

You don't have to pay me for this week. I promise you. It was an honest to God mistake. I was worried about the pupil. I didn't think... Your account must lie to you. I haven't paid you in a year. Here you go. Yeah, well... I don't know where I'm getting that money then. I still owe the bookie shilling. Here we go. Dear Doc... This is from Nassim Rahim. Dear Dr. P. I have a girlfriend. Wait! Yes, sir. Ask again. Dear Dr. P. Hello. I have a girlfriend.

But I also like another girl. That's aight. Who lives across the country. Oh. My feelings for the girl who lives across the country are significantly stronger than my current girlfriend. Oh, shit. What do I do, doctor? I think this is a simple case. I've had hard cases in my life. You know, I'm the best love doctor in the world. The greatest the world's ever seen. You are. Thank you. I think this is a case of, you want what you can't have. You ever been a kid? Yes.

I was, yes. Too many words. And in the kitchen, there's a cookie jar right on top of there. You don't even like cookies. There's raisin cookies in there. There's raisin cookies. You grew up on raisin cookies, Lord. That's the shittiest cookie ever. But if you like them, I love them. That's what I'm trying to make. There's raisin cookies. You don't even like those. And oatmeal raisin is the best cookie ever made. Thank you. Yeah.

My job seems to be becoming more challenging. I tried to correct him, but you stood with him. So I ended up correcting myself. You're right. Raisin. You ever been a kid? You had raisin oatmeal cookies on the top of your grandma's counter, but you're too little to go get them. You don't even like those cookies, but they were up there and they looked so appetizing because you couldn't get them. Exactly. He can't get that girl across the seas. The girl he's with, bad sex. Breath stinks. Uh...

Nag's too much. Mmm, permission to speak. Don't make me get the belt. M-me or him? You. Dear God. Now you made the Doctor Lose His Train of Thought. Oh! I was never one for trains. No, please. I'm just gonna hold it. Okay. You let me know if you want to feel it again. I agree. Yes. So, it's just a case of you want what you can't have. The girl's overseas. The girl next to him stinks. That is crazy. No way! No way! No way!

What the f***? It's just a case of you want what you can't have. Exactly. He doesn't really like that girl over there. He just hates his girlfriend now. And she's appealing because she's all the way over there and can't annoy him.

What do you have to say about that? I was going to say a woman with bad coitus and rotten molars is never good. Never good. If you've got bad sex and bad teeth, then it's just not a good baseline foundation for a relationship. It is true. And I was going to agree with you on the cookie debate. You don't even know. It could be cookies. It could be cigarettes up there. But the fact that it's out of reach, out of mind, out of sight makes you urge for it more. So you just repeated what I said. But I was saying it in a different fashion, Lord, to kind of give you the respect that you are correct because you always are correct.

What the f*** is he looking at? I can feel him out of the corner of my eye. What is he looking at? Is he looking at you? He's looking at you. Yeah. Okay, you can answer now. What's his name? Pupil. Pupil. Pupil 1. Pupil 1. Pupil 1. What do you feel about this? So what I'm getting is he's a... I don't know. Okay. There's multiple things going with this. Oh my god. One. I don't know...

If Cassandra picked the two, you're receptionist, Lord. I'm the secretary. She's the receptionist. She's the one that picked the two winners, right? I don't know if she drafted them from the school of the deaf, but the two people that received an opportunity of a lifetime can't seem to listen. First thing wrong. Second thing, uncross your...

You're sitting there like a politician and I don't like it because you hold zero authority and zero will and no power Uncross your hands third don't you ever start with that confidence again and lead me to a road of bullshit and nothing I'm I'm gonna get fired because of them. I don't know what I'm gonna tell the missus This is just next week next week. It's unbelievable next week when we do this

It's either you or him. There's something in my throat. There's something in my throat. I can put something in your throat. It's either you or him next week, right? It's not going to be both of y'all. So you have one more chance to answer this. How do you feel about this situation? Permission to speak. I'm so sorry. Permission. You're going to need it. You're going to... Please give me permission. Yes. Uncross your...

hands at this very instance! Uncross them! Hold no pa- Your power level is insignificant! It's like you started a new play on a game and then you turn the console off! You have no power! You un- un- un- He's not uncrossing his f***ing hands. I only take orders from the doctor. He's- God, I never even want you- How do you feel about this situation? Remember, before you speak, depending on your answer, he might be back. Pupil 2.

My on him? No. Okay. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. On the situation, on the situation. Explain to him what I'm saying. Okay. No, I got it. I got it. Explain to him what I'm saying. If you don't listen once more, I will single-handedly throw you to a pack of hyenas and I will watch them rip you from limb to limb while I pretend I'm not hearing you cry for

because the amount of time he speaks and you are so stupid and thick in the head that you can't hear it is starting to concern me. Mm-hmm.

You better listen. Okay? You had better listen. We're going to give you one more chance. Can we give him one more chance? No. Okay. I'm going to take us to the briefing room after, and I'm going to decide between him and Pupil 2. Yeah, him and Pupil 2. And in the comments, those on Patreon, they can decide who they want back next week, him or Pupil 2. I had something. Who the hell told him to speak? Sing my song before I kill him. Sing my song. And you better sing my song.

For the love of the almighty, if you do not sing, I am going to be staring at you when I give him the glorious trumpets he deserves. If you don't sing... This belt's going to go across your ass. The belt's coming across your ass. Nope. Is he raising a finger? I told him no. Is he raising a finger? I told him no. May I speak? No. I have a synopsis. It's too late. I want my song. Quick suggestion, Lord. I would like to hear it.

People 2 is no longer here to defend himself. People 1 still has the most upside. He claims he has a synopsis. Pretend he can't hear. Do you graciously allow him? Quick. Okay. So in his situation, he's like a dog. He's got a toy from TJ Maxx. But he's got another toy that he likes at PetSmart. You don't want to put it down? Is he f***ing serious?

Did you just think you were going to come in here with a limerick about poodles and think you're going to sway him over? What the hell? You wait. You're right. That was, and I mean it, the worst synopsis I have ever heard in my life. I would rather a thousand of people twos than one of those suggestions. Now get him. And I want it aggressive.

Oh my god. Go. You should have been a shit stain on your parents' fucking mattress. You do not deserve the position of authority in. You hold no authority. You stink like hell. You oftentimes fart on yourself. And your calves are good for nothing but walking in here, sitting in that seat and being stupid. You fucking Labradors and Dobermans. He's got a treat here. He's got a treat there. He can't get out of the door because he doesn't have thumbs. Are you fucking kidding me?

You're talking about dogs. These are Herman Beans that he's trying to save. And you're talking about a pet in your amazing synopsis. You see how sad you look? I want you to bottle that up. And I want you to wear it daily as a cologne. Sing my song. And that was... Dr. P, Dr. P.

Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. That was a hell of a time. That was good. That was very fantastic. If you want more of that, that was about 15 minutes. If you want a 40-minute version, they're on Patreon. We do full episodes of Dr. P. I don't know. Next episode is going to be, we have a lot to catch up on. And I have a brilliant idea for next episode. What is it? I'm not going to share it here unless you want me to.

Say it. You did ask what it is, so I guess that's an open sharing. Are you going to strike me? No. Okay, yeah. You often put fear in my soul when you stand above me. Anyway, I think we formed some sort of contest for pupil one and pupil two set by the doctor himself. The doctor judges pupil one and pupil two on their performance. One of them wins, one of them loses. I like that. I like that. I think I have some big ideas for Dr. P now. Maybe we simply, me as your secretary...

Me as a secretary, maybe I present the case studies. You hear it initially. You give them each a chance to battle each other. Who has the better synopsis? You pick which is closest to the doctor's synopsis. They get a point-telling system, the first to however many wins. I like that. If you want to see that, it'll be over on Patreon. Cam?

Get us out of here. That was a good little two. Absolutely love every single one of you. Thank you for coming back to episode 139 of the You Should Know Podcast. You already know where to find us, but in case you don't, every single thing you need is linked below. The Twitch, the Discord, the Facebook, the Instagrams, everything. Merch, it is coming out very, very soon. Black Friday, we are dropping the merch. And if you want to see what it looks like,

Patreon has already seen it because they are the Koala members and they always get exclusive access, first access, first of anything. So go join the Koala Club. You will also be able to see the merch already. No one else has seen it except the fellow Koala members. But we absolutely love y'all. Like I already said, confuse the casuals, get your good karma. This week's secret code OC. Locked.

Lots of cash. Lasagna or casserole? Lasagna is nasty. Casserole is weird. I've never had casserole, so I can't say it really. That was like the Battle of the Whites. That was a capacity battle. All right. We love you guys so much. Remember, one out of ten clawbears don't make it home to Christmas, and we will see you next time, you dirty. Are you in there? Hello?