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At Banner Health, we're here to provide more than health care. Whatever you're planning, wherever you're going, we're here to help you get there. Banner Health. Exhale. The You Should Know Podcast. We're back and we got the new merch on! Welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 104. Round of applause, please. Oh my God.
What an episode. What a surprise. What a surprise. For the audio listeners, head over to the YouTube so you can see it. We have now revealed the new merch and we have a release date. We're not going to say the release date for the merch until Cam joins the podcast. But this is one of two pieces that we are dropping that will be available to you very soon. But if you're new here, if you haven't already, look below. You see the subscribe button. Is it pressed? You're wrong. If you look even more below...
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You should know podcast member. It is going to be a fantastic series. I cannot wait for all you Koala Club members to go enjoy that. If you're not a part of the Koala Club, click the link in the top of the description. Join the Koala Club. You will not regret it.
Facebook is on and popping. Shout out to the Facebook fam. Click the link to join the Facebook fam and the Discord. You know I love you. Shout out to the Watch Party. Shout out to Piranha. Shout out to all the mods over there. Shout out to every member of the Discord. We love you. We love you. We love you. I hope y'all like the new merch. We're going to talk about it a little more when Cam joins. And now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.
Bring him out, bring him out! Cam's gonna make me scream and shout! It's hard to yell when that bad rail's in your mouth! Swizzy! We got co-host Cam back in the studio! Why don't you just give me a regular dab? I'll give you everything you ever wanted in this live, Cam. I like your hat. Look at me. I love you. I love you more. Oh my god! Hey! That felt good! Hey, this is gonna be a banger episode. I never mean it when I say it. We got co-host
Before you rip my heart out, guys, this is the second piece of merch that is coming out. I don't know if you can tell via camera, all right? First off, give it a look. They don't even know. I'll describe it to them. The front, lower down a little bit. The front, we got the YSK in the bubble with You Should Know under it. And then we got the back.
Lower a little bit. Hit them hips. Get them lower. There you go. We got the You Should Know puff print on the back as well. This material of this new merch. Guys, what we're doing is we're not making merch anymore. We're making streetwear. We have finally crossed the barrier. We stayed the course. We stayed patient. Yep.
We found a beautiful partner. Yep. And now we're ready for y'all to have it. We're ready for y'all. So basically the mission behind this new Merge Drop is we're making it higher quality. Talk to them. More exclusive.
So there's only going to be about 100 pieces of each. Of each. So, as you heard, our first drop... You want to tell the date now? I'll let you tell the date. You tell it. No, we'll tell you at the same time. We'll rock, paper, scissors. Same time. We'll rock, paper, scissors. We'll do it like episode 100. Same time. Okay. Ready? One, two, three. March 25th. Woo! March 25th.
25th. That is a Monday. That is going to be the Monday. Hell, next Monday. Next Monday. Next Monday. So that is from Monday, the 25th until they sell out. Yeah. Okay. So guys, the way we're approaching these. Yep. It's not like the past. You're not going to have 20 different things to choose from. You have two pieces. Yep. An amazing white and orange colorway shirt. Puff print. I don't know if you can hear it. Puff print. That
It is popping out. It is popping. It will stay like that forever. It is fantastic quality and hell, if you're like me, it's fun to fidget with. If you want to just rub your chest in public. Oh, it feels so good. Hello, good morning. It feels so good. It feels amazing and the designs are beautiful. So you have this exclusive white and orange colorway tee. I'll give you one more look at it. Nice. I like when you drop low. And it has a YSK going through the you should know with the bubble. You got a thing on you.
You know what, Cam? You read the comments of last week's episode.
I read some. Yeah, all the butt comments. You're like, oh. I read some. So you want to drop it a little low. You want an edit of your butt. No, I don't. I don't want an edit of my butt. How many make an edit of Cam's butt? I'll take a Cam edit. I don't really want an edit of my butt. No, you want an edit of your butt. I'll take a Cam edit. But yes or no, did we hit five sets of hip thrusts yesterday? We did. We did. I made eye contact with a grown man. I made eye contact with a large man the whole time I was doing it. I was doing hip thrusts like this.
Looking dead in the eyes of this grown man. And I was like, I'm focused. You're like, I know what I'm here for. He's like, you're cutting the show. That's your fault. So this is the first peach. Peach. First, hey, peach. Miss Peaches. Miss Peach. I love Miss Peaches. Shut up. Anyway, this is the first piece. The second piece, P, give them a little, give them one more thing. Well, I'll just put it up on the screen. Or you can just not be lazy and give it to them.
You got a beautiful, beautiful black hoodie with a white puff print YSK on the front with the stars, shooting for the stars, all that type vibe. The beautiful color cracks out a little bit. A little bit of crack. I'm not going to lie, but they can't see it. Again, very large puff print YSK on the back. Feels fantastic with the beautiful stars and a nice little colorway. I'm very excited about this merch, Rob. And it's so soft. So soft. Ryan wore it to, we went to go see Tom Segura. He wore it and he was like, he is dangerous.
You're like cozied up. It was like a blanket. He was like this. It's the best thing we've ever put out. Oh, my God. I just can't wait for y'all to get it. We signed a deal with the people. The people that make this make shirts for Travis Scott merchandise. For Travis Scott, Kanye, Drake. Their merch is in PacSun. PacSun. They've had a collab with Stussy that's been in... What's the other one like PacSun? Hot Topic. Not Hot Topic. Zoomies. Zoomies. Zoomies. So, I mean...
It's fantastic. Obviously, we love it. I hope y'all love it. And it truly is the best thing we've ever had. Yeah, so March 25th, be ready. Have your alarm clocks clicking. Because there's only 100 pieces of both, and then they're gone. And we will remind y'all throughout the week on the Instagrams, both in the caption below, PSH8, Cam Kennedy 22, and You Should Know Pod, so you get more updates there. But enough about the merch.
How is that the first thing you ask me coming off of a merch promo? How is that the first thing you ask me? No, I didn't. What goes on in your head? No, we can't talk about it. Good lord. I just wanted to break the ice. The You Should Know Podcast.
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You said something. I say a lot of things. No, no, but you said something that struck home with me. I like to strike you. Do you want to tell them what happened when we met Tom? Because that is outrageous. So we got invited to the Tom Segura show. Fantastic show, by the way. One of the best comedians ever.
One of the funniest podcasts ever. Him and Bert Kreischer do Two Bears, One Cave. And so we have the same team, right? Basically a bunch of people on our team, a bunch of people on his team. He did a show in Dallas. We went to American Airlines Center. They hooked us up with fantastic seats. Thank you, Travis and Grayson. Thank you, WME. Thank you, Tom Segura. Thank you, Ryan. So we got there. We watched Tom Segura's show. Hilarious.
Fantastic show. I watched a woman spit on somebody. It was fantastic. We'll talk about that more later. After, we got invited to the after party because he's promoting his new vodka. We go to this after party lounge, right? We're sitting in the lounge. I kid you not, there's no more than 35 people in that lounge. Yeah, it's very intimate. Very intimate. Very good vibes. Great vibes in American Airlines. A lot of cool people walking around. Tom Segura walks in, right? I'm like, oh, that's so cool. I'm a big fan of him. We just watched the show. Yep.
We wanted to meet him, right? Yeah, of course. As anyone should. As the night goes on, we get the opportunity to go up to talk to Tom. Hey, Tom. I'm Peyton. I'm Kim. I'm Cam. What's up, Tom? Name's Cam. Tom's a nice guy. We're talking to Tom, right? As we're talking to Tom Segura, right? Shooting the shit. We are definitely shooting the shit. As we're talking to Tom Segura, I realize this is a crazy moment. We're talking to Tom Segura about the podcast, about his podcast, about our podcast. I'm starting to get in my head now.
As you know, I am an anxious freak. I am very nervous all the time, especially when I'm meeting one of the goats in the game. Somebody who we look up to. I'm having an outer body experience. Now...
Something came out of my body. It was definitely out of body experience. So I'm drinking his new vodka. It's fantastic. Very good. Porrosos. Porrosos. Shout out to Porrosos. We're drinking, right? Talking to Tom. Oh, yeah, we are. And it's a bad mix when Peyton gets alcohol and nerves in him because I start to lose control of my body. Now, I'm talking to Tom, right? I'm looking in Tom Segura's eyes, talking to him about business, about podcasting.
I feel something in my gut. Something I can't control. And I kid you not, I'm like a foot away from this man. I'm in his mouth. Oh, it's very intimate. I mean, we're arms length apart. Like, I can literally just extend my hand a little bit. I'm on him now. That's how close we are. As he's talking to me, I feel something in my gut rumble up. And I feel it shoot down towards my asshole. I can't control it.
And so I open up. I go. Luckily, there was music playing and a lot of people talking. So he didn't hear it. But he audibly saw me go. Yeah. And okay. And I...
And I've been around Peyton plenty of times. So he has the jump scare of like, oh shit, I just farted. But he also has this face. It's like he's seen like a ghost. Like he's seen an ancestor, right? So we're in the middle of talking. Oh yeah, da da da. Oh, it was an amazing show. Love you so much. Let's talk this, that, and third. We're just, you know, talking, right? And all of a sudden, again, can't hear it, right? There's music, good vibes, and a nice little lounge. But all of a sudden, Peyton goes...
His lip does this quiver thing when he farts. He went...
And I was like, oh my god, you just shat your pants. So me, this might be crazy, borderline disgusting, but I was actively trying to smell it to see if it was like an abort type of mission. We have to leave this after party. So I was trying to put it on my scale of quakes, of earthquake scale. If it's a two, we can stay. Blame it on the guy next to us. If this is an eight or higher, Tom, it was a pleasure. I got to get him to a toilet, okay? So it's...
in the middle of speaking with Tom, I see this, right? I see that. I'm like, oh God, he beavered. I just saw he just did his beaver. So I go, yeah, so, no, but yeah, we definitely did that. And this is how we start. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm actively trying to sniff out this fart, which I cannot believe I'm saying this, but the things I do for you, don't ever question my loyalty. Don't ever question me ever again. I'm sitting here.
And I'm not picking up much. Maybe, hell, maybe there was a sweaty guy next to us. I don't know. But the fart, it was very evident that it happened. But luckily. Luckily, it didn't. Luckily, it wasn't an 8 out of 10. We didn't have to abort. But I could see Tom. But hold your ass. Like, we're having a fantastic conversation. We just crossed the threshold of, like, of friend stuff, peer stuff, just talking fun and stuff. Now we're talking business. And you go, Tom.
And you beavered. And I said, there's no way we're talking, getting to network with a goat, with someone in our field. One of the biggest comedians of all time. You're still freaking out. One of the biggest comedians.
Relax. And he shits his pants. Yeah. Unbelievable. So if there's never two bears in You Should Know collab, then that's why. That's why. He fumbled. He fumbled his asshole. He fumbled the collab. It's his fault, not mine. Boo him. Boo this man. Boo. If I'd have fucked him.
Tomato, I'd throw it right at you. Okay, I don't think Tom knew I farted. I don't think he did either. God, if you see this, I'm so sorry. But Tom Segura definitely knew something happened. Because I saw him look like... Because you beavered. You...
He could have thought I had some... Yeah, a problem. Like a muscle smash. Like an issue. Yeah, an issue is what normal people call it. But thanks, Tom Segura, for hanging out with us. That was a really fun time. It was a fun show. It was hilarious, by the way. We'll talk more about that on the extended whatnot. It was fantastic, but... Go to Patreon, but yeah. So...
I was reading the comments of last week's episode when I was talking about having 16 dogs named Titus, right? That's so dumb. Well, you're dumb. I wasn't going to tell you that, but that's dumb. A lot of people agreed with me. A lot of people just said I was going to pay too much for it. And I just threw out a number just to talk, but I wouldn't pay $13,000 a month for that. I can't afford that. So...
so i was i was thinking about dogs recently okay after i was reading those comments god i love ruby and a lot of people say this about dogs they say dogs are good judges of character of people they are dogs know this like they bad person bad person good person they'll they'll stay away from a bad person maybe a little growl yeah good person they're like oh lay on my back i love you scratch my tummy i don't know if that's true that might be bullshit i don't think it's because i had my dog loved my ex and that
That dog loved her. And she was getting defiled behind my back. Stop.
But he doesn't. Malcolm can only judge what you brought into the house. Okay? So when she was in the house, you probably had good feelings for her as well. All a dog is is an extension of yourself. Unless you didn't train it correctly. So Max is an extension. Unless you didn't train it correctly. That's why Max is gone. I don't own Max anymore. See ya. Have a good life, buddy. But, no, he's still in the family. I still love that dog. But he's way too active to be cooped up in an apartment. Yeah.
So we did the better thing. Okay, but think about Ruby. Think about Ruby. Her anxiousness, she gets that from her uncle. Now outside of that, everything else, her loving spirit, her will to cuddle, her obedience, it all comes from her parents. Her obesity, that comes from her dad probably. She sees me eat a lot, so she thinks she needs to eat a lot. But a dog is an extension of you
and your partner if you're in a relationship but the back of my head i knew the girl wasn't shit but you not at the beginning that's what i'm saying at the beginning you were like you knew it at the beginning that's pretty willingly put yourself in a in a nazar situation that seems to be the the spirit of my life is like i know this is gonna hurt at the end but i'm enjoying it now that is that's pessim that's pessimism pessimism what pessimistic but pessimism
Like optimism? I don't think that's a word. Pessimism. Pessimism isn't a word. Is it the past tense of pessimistic? Exactly. Like optimistic, you have optimism. You're having a hard time. Say slower. Optimistic. Yeah, there you go. If you're optimistic, you are obtaining optimism. Right. Okay. If you are pessimistic, you have pessimism. All right. You know how... What's another word for tall? Like how tall somebody is? Pessimism. What's another word for how tall somebody is? Giant? No, like... No, like the technical... Did I do it again? Yes.
Did I do it again? No, I said it good that time. Okay, say it. Height. Why do I do it? It's a G-H-T. Height. Is it height? It's height. Height. Height is never a word. It's never been a word. Oh, okay. You want to talk about words? Spell the word crooked. C-R-O-O-K-E-D. I had a scholarship in English. Is that right? Yeah. That's right? Crooked. C-R-O-O-K-E-D. Crooked. Crooked. Yeah. Okay. What's crooked about you?
My spy? You want to talk about crooked? You're a, Peyton's a crooked guy. There's a lot of things about you that's crooked or crooked. Okay, what? Anytime you lay on anything crooked. I've never seen you laying, I've never seen you resemble a plank, ever in your life. I can be pretty straight. Oh, no you can't. No you can't. You do a lot of things that aren't straight. Hello, good morning to you. Your fingers are...
abnormally crooked that's another thing I don't even know if the camera can pick that up okay I want everyone to take your two middle fingers and do that and just look at them right it should resemble this pretty pretty narrow pretty straight Peyton's shit is like this is like this badly crooked okay no I have bad fingers yeah look at that that's the second thing another thing that I have noticed what
Your belongings are even crooked. What do you mean? There's not too many things that are just straight. Like when you fold a... If I were to fold a blanket and you fold a blanket, two different worlds. You would have thought you grew up in like anti-folding. If I fold a shirt and you fold a shirt, two different worlds. It's everything. But there's so many things about you that aren't straight. That's not fair. Because I never grew up folding clothes. We're in a folding clothes family. What does that mean? That comes with privilege.
Folding a shirt? We had plastic hangers. Wired hangers. You weren't a straight sleeping family either? You were all crooked in the bed? Why do you know my sleeping? Because you're like this. Anytime. It's like your body doesn't follow your feet. You're not in one. You're not in an aura. You're just like this.
It's like Peter Griffin. Every time he falls in Family Guy, that's you. You sleep like that. You're just... I have scoliosis of the back. I believe I have some too. I think it's just because of our height. You also have height and... Because of our what? Height. Height. Height. You got a list. No, I don't. I don't know why I say height. Height. It's because of our height and you also broke your back. Bad allergies today. Are we recording at 9 a.m. again?
The amount of goo I'm hearing on the inside of your body, and you just spit some. You just released the goo. Do we need to quarantine? I didn't release the goo. You said it. Not the initial... That's already disgusting enough. You sound like an orc leader. Like, you sound like an actual Uruk-hai. But then the inside is what I was picking at. Yeah. It was like... That's not my fault. That's...
Dude, you and this not my fault shit. It's always someone else. I never folded a shirt. It's not my fault. It's the grass outside. It's the wind and the pollen. I'm allergic to grass. No, you are not. No, you're not. I'm allergic to cedar. No, you are not allergic to grass. Yes, I am. You are not allergic to... Yes, I am. Because I had a hill by my old house and I would roll down the hill. Oh, you have a hill? All right, little house on the... You have a hill by your house. Why do you think the most normal shit is so obscure? Because you lived in a cul-de-sac. I said, buy my house. Oh.
Oh, you just traveled a little gutter gang. You just traveled to that hill so you can get hives. You little creep. You liked it. Oh, oh, God. You're not helping your kid. No, I used to try to break my arm. You called up gutter gang. You said, hey, boys, I'm feeling hives today. And you would drive your little stupid bike out to that hill, roll around and be like, ah, ah, ah. And you liked it. You liked hives. Yeah, I definitely tried to break my arm at one point.
I want it to be in a cast so bad. They're going to put you on a list, bro. They're going to clip so many things of you saying these endangering, self-criminating thoughts.
I wanted to break my arm. I'm allergic to grass. I liked the hives. You said I liked the hives. I didn't like the hives. You didn't deny it. You didn't deny it? No, I just, I was allergic. I am allergic to grass because when you rolled around on grass, did you ever roll, like log roll on grass as a kid? Yes. Okay, did you itch afterwards? No. I did all the time. That doesn't mean you're allergic. And I was allergic to cats. That means you can have soft, weak bitch skin, but that doesn't mean you're allergic. What does that mean? We went to Zilker Park. Did I get on the grass? Yep.
Yep. I got on the grass. I got on the grass at the park. You didn't sit. You didn't sit down once. Not my skin. My skin didn't touch the grass. My skin didn't touch the grass. Welcome to episode 104, ladies and gentlemen, where Peyton has invisible legs. They're non-existent. I can sit and not touch the grass with my skin. Oh my God. I have basketball shorts on. That's the back of your ass. What else am I sitting on? Where were your legs? Like this. Something like that? Yes. Yes.
I almost choked you out. Are you the sit police? I almost choked you. How did I sit? I sat like that. I can't sit like that. My back's not strong enough. I can't sit like that. I know you're lying. See, you're crooked. You're a crooked man. Okay, he has the forbidden drink as well, and it's 9 a.m. It's 9 a.m. like a mug. Just buckle up. That's all I'm going to say. Buckle up, guys. The You Should Know Podcast.
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For no additional charge. That's beautiful. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash YSK today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash YSK to get 10% off your first month. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. What were we talking about? Show me your fingers. No, that's a personal thing. Look at it. The fact that you could...
Show them from that angle. That's how bad look at the crookedness. Yeah, it's bad. That sucks is bad I wasn't trying to make fun of you for it. Okay. I did you know a lot of people like in the podcast when the entertainment world people do podcasts together a lot of them aren't like friends in real life like they're friends but like The level that we are friends correct. We talk all the time. We hang out all the time Yes, can you read the people like took one of our messages?
Actually the message is from the other day. You want me you want me to read those messages? Yes, because I want to show people I'm only giving you one more opportunity. Do you want me to read this? I've exposed so much about my life I don't care like this is real life like how we me and Cam tech this is there's no camera No, there's no nothing and read what time these words. Okay, here's here the messages right here. Okay? Okay, you'll get that image in a second. Here we go. This is Sunday and
This is Sunday at noon! 12:05! This is Sunday at noon. First interaction, first word exchange of the day. He sends me a message and it simply says, "Wanna see my ball sack?" And I go, "Are you okay?" He goes, "My balloon not?" Question mark. I go, "Nah." He then takes time! He takes time to make an image!
Of a plain white t-shirt with a balloon knot on it. A real balloon knot. Not the butt balloon knot. Not the butt balloon knot. A real knot of a balloon. It takes time to make that and send it to my phone behind a blanket of invisible ink to where I'm now surprised. Okay? My response. If that shirt were to have a real balloon knot and actually be worn, you would deserve death. Okay? Just kind of letting him know where I stand.
He then responds, "Not enjoying your energy during this lovely morning, do? I will try again at dusk." So I just send laughing faces and I swear to God, this is all within four minutes because this next message is at 12:09. Peyton goes, "I farted butt naked on my gaming chair and when I stood up, the seat was wet."
What the f*** is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? So I send bro with eight to ten O's, right? He then says, my fault. I'll try again later. Okay. A whole hour goes by. It's 1.35. He then responds, you in a better mood? And I go, what is wrong with you?
He then sends three texts immediate back to back. Ready to appreciate me, love me, hold me, and I'm nice and I go all of the above. He then demands me. He goes, say sorry. Sorry for what? I go, sorry, nothing else. That's the end of the conversation. That's the end of the conversation. Can you explain yourself?
What cloud do you wake up on? There is no cloud 9 for you. You wake up on cloud 14. Okay. I have never once, I have never, ever woke up and immediately texted you or anyone else on my phone and say, want to see my ball sack? That is terrifying.
I have an explanation for it all. Oh, I bet you do. I was real lonely. You're the only person I talked to. Okay. And so I'm here for you so far. I woke up butt naked. I went to sleep with clothes on. So it was a confusing morning for me. It was a real confusing morning. When I woke up and I took the covers off, they were attached to my thigh because it was hot in my room. And so I said, somebody else has to see this skin.
Even your room temp is crooked. You went to sleep clothed and woke up naked, hot, with sheets stuck to your skin. No, not the sheets. My manhood was stuck to my thigh. And so when I saw that, I said, somebody has to see this. You're the only person I talk to, so I hit you at noon on a Sunday and asked if you wanted to be a part of this festivity.
This whole time I thought it was the sheets that was stuck to you. Oh, no, it was me. It was your nutsack that was stuck to your inner thigh. You get that sometimes. I don't ever share it. And my house is never hot enough. I keep it nice and cold. And then the gaming chair. The better part about that is I didn't send you the picture because I took one. I took a picture of it. I deleted it because it is gross. But I had it. And I was going to send it to you. I want you all to picture this. I want you to picture this.
You went to sleep with clothes on, woke up butt-ass naked, nutsack connected to your leg, okay? If that wasn't enough, you actually stood up and walked down two stories of stairs butt-ass naked, knowing you have a glorious amount of windows, and you go sit in your office still butt-naked and turn on a computer? How do you operate?
That's some truth or dare shit. It's freedom. Freedom. Well, I left my clothes... You have a remarkable amount of confidence.
It is. It's almost detrimental. Like that could be bad. That could be bad. Why? Say we get to the point here in a couple of years, five, six years down the line, you're in a new house, actual home, right? You love it. Yeah. You give me a key. Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm your, I'm just, I'm your, your day one. Right. I never need to let your pet out. Whatever. Yeah. Say I use that key that morning. Yeah.
You'd make eye contact with- Hey, where you at? In the office. Oh, you'd be a sick f***er. You would definitely just say, oh, I'm over here. Come here. You'd swivel your chair and be like, I'm right here. And you wouldn't warn me nothing. Say I have my wife and kids with me. Uncle Pete! No, I wouldn't do it with your kids around. You and your wife. I don't care. I FaceTimed y'all the other day. Oh my god, I have those images. Oh my god, I have those images. You screenshotted them? Oh my god, I screenshotted them six times. You're a f***ing liar. Show me. Oh my god, I have the images. I FaceTime Cam when I get the zoomies at night.
And most of the time I don't have clothes on. Let me see. So the first... That one looks crazy! Let me see. That one looks insane. I'm so lost. That looks absolutely wild! Okay, so I FaceTimed Cam. Let's break down this FaceTime call.
Why'd you screenshot that, you freak? I'm the freak. Why are you doing it? So I FaceTimed Cam. I was in my office. I'm weird in my office. I don't know what goes on in there. Oh, shit. I FaceTimed Cam, and a lot of the time, I have the least amount of clothes I can have on. What? What? Explain. I don't know what you're talking about. Yesterday. Yesterday.
What? What did I do yesterday? This man doesn't do his laundry. So yesterday... I'm so sorry, y'all. This is mind-boggling. I'm just happy I remembered it yesterday.
Oh shit, it's hot now. We go to the gym. We come back, get food, everything. We go pick something up, right? We both shower in our own homes. He calls me. He calls me with like dinner, date night, like Pablo Escobar pants on. The beach pants. I go, where the hell are you going? He goes...
Haven't done my laundry in four weeks. It's the only thing I had clean. I look at the upper half. It is an extra small season one. You should know shirt. What the hell are you wearing? He's just picture that like,
Pablo Escobar, like flowy beach pants, no socks, no shoes. And he wears two X. He wears an extra large two X. He's wearing an extra small. Think about that for a second. Create that image. I was, I was flabbergasted. I was like, what are you? Who are you? Who are you? I called Gwag and she said, I look like an Uber driver.
Continue. So I don't do my laundry because I don't like it. It generally gives me back pains. It annoys me. Oh, my God. No, it hurts my back, too. It hurts. It's low. It's kind of like my Kroger story.
When I was saying how I was bagging for 30 minutes? Oh, yeah, yeah. Those comments still piss me off. 30 minutes and you wanted a break? I'm not talking about a break from the job. I'm saying I just wanted to stand up. Anyway, that's haunted me for this long time. Bro, I get that too. Like when you switch from the washer to the dryer? Yeah, I hate it. I hate it. And then now I air it. Even when you do dishes. I don't do dishes. I don't have dishes. Yeah, you literally don't. He has knives. That's it. He just has knives and shot glasses. That's your...
That's your dishes. You have a singular plate, 19 blades, and eight shot glasses for a single man. That's what you have. You live a wicked life. No, I don't do laundry because it takes too long. I have to air dry my clothes. I do too. I still have my Tampa clothes in the suitcase. Can I tell them? Yeah, tell them. I go to his house. What was that? Three days ago? Yeah. He, in his second story, it's like the living room, the kitchen, the...
The living room is what it's called. The living room story. The living room story. But I'm saying it's a whole story. Oh, okay, yeah. This man has piles. He has a big-ass pile. Clothes, shoes, bracelets, anything you can imagine. Trash. All one pile right there. I turn slowly. There's another pile that looks just like it. And I go, you're not serious, are you? He's like, what are you talking about? I said, are you alive? Are you okay? Well in thought? He goes, yeah. I go...
That's your Tampa suitcase. That's your Austin suitcase. Why are they in your living room floor? I'm talking like dirty sweaty draws like yeah, like but there is there's something in your lips There's something on your mustache. I need you to remove it. I need you to remove it It looks like old chewing gum. It's over here. It need no you need to get rid of it. It's still there You got it. Okay. Holy shit. That was oh, maybe it's green. It made me itch two massive piles, right?
So I'm looking around. There's shit everywhere per usual, but there's, I'm talking like we went on two business trips. He hasn't put any of it in a dirty hamper. No, it's just on the floor. So I go, bro, at least just throw it in this closet. I open his closet. He has a cardboard closet. There was a full closet, like a massive closet.
full of cardboard just random ass box there's an air fryer box tv box random shit but there's a spotify box just random ass cardboard boxes i'm like are you moving you building forts what's going why you have so much cardboard it's because i don't plan on living there forever so whenever i move out i have to pack the stuff back up so i have a cardboard box room you have a cardboard box closet and a dirty ass living room oh
That reminds me, it doesn't remind me, but a story just popped up in my brain about OT Genesis. You know who OT Genesis is? The rapper? Push it, push it, push it, push it. That guy? Yes, I know. I'm in love with the coach. That guy. No, I know who OT Genesis is. I think everyone knows him from eight years ago. Yeah. How does that make, how? I can't, I can't. Just go. I thought OT Genesis was going to beat my ass one time.
I swear to God, it's a true story. And I remind him because it's South by Southwest time. And I went to South by Southwest. So if you know anything about OT Genesis, he's real life, like about it. You know what I mean? Like he's certified, right? So there's always a little respect and fear that comes with OT Genesis. So I went to a concert at South by Southwest when I was like 17, 18. And OT Genesis was opening up for Meek Mill.
It's crazy times. And so I remember I was dead in the middle of the crowd. Of course you were. Dead in the middle. Of course you were. Standing up. It was a standing room only type of thing. So you just stood up. It was kind of a small venue. Yeah. So he could see me. I was the tallest one there. And I'm in the middle. And he was singing Push It. Right. Right.
And I'm awkward in public, especially I'm the tallest one in the concert because I'm getting yelled at from behind. They're like, move big ass. I can't see. And it's like, it's not my fault. And then I feel like everybody can look. That's literally your fault. That it's your human being that is blocking their vision. It can't be anyone else's fault. And then I don't like to dance and I feel like people are looking at me. I'm already the tall one, so I didn't want to dance. So everybody was turning up to OT Genesis, right? Like going crazy. And I was there like this. Literally, my hands are in my pocket because I don't know what to do with my hands in public. And I was going like this.
Just nodding my head, looking at him, right? And I could see him looking at me. I could see where this is going. He was looking at me for a lot of the show, like glancing at me. And then as the show went on, each glance got a little angrier and a little longer. And so Push It came on. The whole crowd was turning up.
I was serving my body. I didn't see anybody. See, mama tried to keep me home. And so everybody was like, but I love seats. And I was, and I was enjoying it in my mind, but outside I was hands in the pocket, little smirk and nod my head. The whole hook in second verse, he was making dead eye contact with me and making his way to the edge of the stage. Oh my God. Push it, push it, push. And I was just like,
And with the girls, I was like, I think we got to go. And then the people behind him start to look at him and look at me. And I was like, I promise you, I have no agenda. You said, excuse me, Mr. Genesis. I'm having a fantastic time up here. I'm just... I'm a two-pocket guy. Dual-pocket guy. And then...
Fast forward to another South by Southwest. You were there. We went to a Future concert on 6th Street. Someone got murked outside of it. That was wild time. But one of the people on Future's team from a top balcony threw a water bottle at my head. You suck at concerts. And I looked up at him, and he started throwing all kinds of shit at me. You gave him crooked ones back, you said. He was throwing all kinds of shit, and I said, I think you got the wrong guy. I have no problem. I love Future.
You said King Hendrix. Yeah, so so many of you just streamed, tried to beat my ass. OT Genesis didn't like me. The streets just don't like you. Pretty cool guy. Golly. I just am quiet and weird. Okay, but does this give I'm enjoying myself? Push it, push it, push it, push it, push it. Or go get the money, go get the money, go get the money, go get the money. It's not my fault. You have blamed things on anyone but you. Don't ever do that again.
Don't you ever do that again. I'm having a hard time. You just double-picked your ears and rolled your eyes in the back of the head. I love a good Q-tip. You looked like a sick little pug when you did that. I bet you do. Yeah. So I try to avoid going to concerts unless I know the people now. Because I don't want any miscommunication.
of my actions and my awkwardness. You remember Jambalaya? What happened in Jambalaya? We were like 30 feet away from getting in a mosh pit and neither one of us were ready. What happened? Explain the story. It was Ski Mask. So we went to Jambalaya and it was one of the years they did it in Austin but they had two stages instead of just one. So it was like It's a music festival, a rap music festival. It's a rap music festival. So it was like Ski Mask the Slump God is going to be here in an hour. Yeah. Trippie Redd is going to be here in an hour 30. So it's like you had to pick your poison. Yeah. So we went we really wanted to see Trippie. Yes.
So we was like waiting. So we're like, bro, let's just go to the back of ski mask stuff. Enjoy his vibe to where we can just dip out and still be in trippies audience. We go to the back and literally, I honestly, I think you are a bad omen. It's like a curse when you're at rap stuff. Cause of there's a, literally y'all can look up images. There is thousands of like thousands of huge, huge,
And of all places of Ski Mask the Slump Gods, who if you don't know him, look up his songs and it's just like raging, like screaming ramp. Of all places that a mosh pit breaks out, it's like 30 feet away from us. And me and Peyton turned and looked at each other. We're like, I'm not physically, mentally, or verbally ready for this to happen right now. And people are doing, people are sitting there.
I'm like, hey, you hungry? I was like, I could use a hot dog. Let's just go get some trippy. It was wild, bro. That reminds me. I got burnt to it. You looked like a lobster. I remember that. I got lifted up at Astroworld by strangers. I remember that. Now, I do have a bad time at music festivals. I went to Astroworld. It was the Travis Scott Festival. What? I'm sorry, Cookie. And so I went alone to Astroworld because I had nobody. I just got broken up with.
And I lived in Houston, so I was like, okay, perfect. I can just go here alone. And so I'm at Astroworld by myself, right? Playboy Cardi comes out.
I was so scared. Oh, yeah. Because a siren comes on and his DJ goes, if you're scared, get out. And I said, that's me. I'm scared. Where's the exit? Where? I need lights. And then like 18 guys. I don't know if they're on payroll with Playboy Cardi or they're just fans. I don't know if this is like a union type of thing. I don't know how this is working. They get benefits on the back end. I don't know what's going on.
They come out with these bulletproof vests in the crowd. They're shirtless under them, and their faces are painted. And they're going through the crowd, and they're like, move! And they're going through, and they're like, the mosh pit police. And I said, what the fuck? I said, oh, God, no. So there's a small squadron of scary men. And then there's a bunch of 13-year-old kids that look like you. And they're, like, so sweaty, so smelly. Oh, yeah, so much acne. And they're so angry and having a good time. And nothing. And they're like, let's go!
And I was like, please, God, get me out of here. Where I was moving, I had no control. I was... And I was like... And then Playboy Cardi comes out. I just left Houston. I just left Earth. And I said, no, God. I'm about to leave Earth. This is going to be my last day. I'm dying right here. I swear to God, four and a half minutes into his set, I'm starting to levitate. And I'm like...
I didn't come here with anybody. I don't know anybody here. Who's grabbing my shit? And I was like, why are my feet not touching earth anymore? I am getting, my 6'7 ass is getting vaulted. I am crowd surfing. By 9th graders. And everybody's recording like, oh, that's so dope. Get me the fuck down. Put me down. Put me down now. I have a law firm. I got a team. You don't want to fuck with me. Put me down.
That's you. And there's 13-year-olds. I'm surprised one didn't go...
Just shake you. That would have been funny. That would have been awful. That was an embarrassing time. Bro, and then at Joe Budden. I know it wasn't a con, but still, you and Joe Budden said, Jamal Murray. Yeah, Joe Budden called me Jamal Murray for four hours straight. I paid $100 for a meet and greet. You just can't be a normal person in these public settings. Bro, God. In the meet and greet picture? It makes for great, great...
I have an embarrassing story at a Phoenix Suns thing I went to. Remember that a long time ago? You did go to Phoenix. I went to Phoenix because I was doing an app partnership with the Phoenix Suns and this one app that was partnered with them and I was working it. And so they took us to Phoenix and that's where the story, I got kicked out of the casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back a couple of like, not a couple, like 40, 50 episodes.
So we... I never told this story because it's one of those moments you're ever laying in bed and you think about something and you automatically get hives and you're like, oh my God, it's so embarrassing. Yes. That happens to me regularly and happened to me last night and now I'm going to tell the story. And this happened in Phoenix. This happened in Phoenix, right? And you've never told me this. Never told you. Like a dead ass I've never told you this. It's so embarrassing. Oh my God. So...
We go to the Phoenix Suns Arena, right? Everybody's in there. The team just had practice. So I'm walking through the tunnel, right? We get special access because we're working there. All the fans and shit are in the crowd. And there's a couple people on the court. Is this like game time? Like a game night? No, no, it's not a game night. But it's a part of this event. Like the Phoenix Suns are a part of it. You get to meet some of the players, all that shit, whatever. And I was just working it. What's up, Boop?
I saw, I met Nate Robinson. I met Nate Robinson was there. Kelly. That was a minute ago. Kelly Oubre. He's one of the most attractive men I've ever seen in my life. I was like, Jesus Christ, I get it. And so I was in the tunnel, right? And I was walking, everybody was walking past. Devin Booker, all these cool, attractive, rich people. And I was like, cool, cool. I was playing it cool. Nate Robinson walking by. I just didn't say hi to anybody. I was there for work. Now the app I was with said, hey,
we're about to do this thing on the court. We're going to go out into the court and we're going to run this drill to promote the app. And you're going to track the points through the app. And it's going to show everybody in the crowd how cool the app is. And we're bringing kids down from the arena and they're going to do it. This little cone drill. Oh God. So I was like, Oh,
oh shit I don't this is before the podcast was anything denim in 550 yeah I was so nervous I was like I'm not good in front of crowds I don't want to do this and they're like we only hired three people you have to be on the day and so I was like shit we go out through the tunnel we're on to the hardwood the lights are so bright so bright I'm like oh my god I'm sweating this is in the Phoenix Suns arena Phoenix Suns arena I have videos of this Phoenix Suns arena and
And now they had, you ever been to an NBA game and they have the, like the announcer, the master of ceremonies or whatever. Like the hype guy. The hype guy that walks around with a mascot and shit. And he's like, oh, we got it. They're on the court and they're like narrating the drill. What's happening? They're explaining the drill, right? Now at this point,
I only... I knew that there was a hard cam somewhere. There was a camera on this person that follows them around so they could play on the Jumbotron, right? There's like 8,000 people in this arena. So many people. It was packed. It was loud and I was scared. And so there's this woman. She was so pretty. And she was the announcer. She's walking around with the microphone. And she's looking at me the whole time, right? And like...
She could see that I am panicked. She knew it. Visibly uncomfortable. And so I'm like going around doing the app. I'm trying to rebound for the kids doing the drills. Like they have to dribble the full length of the court. And I got to count it. I'm fumbling their shit. I'm tripping little kids. It was horrible. Right? So there's the winner. Oh my God. So there's the winner of the thing. The drill. Of the drill. The lady on the announcer, she's on the jumbotron, right? There's cameras. There's cameras.
I didn't see a camera on the court. So I was like, who is she talking to? But she's looking up in the arena because there's that camera in the middle of the arena that plays on the Jumbotron. And she goes, all the winners come to the middle of the court. But the guy that's running the app says, go with them because we're all wearing the shirts. It's like, I want the shirt to be next to the winner. He picks me. He says, go next to him. So I was panicking.
I walk to the middle of the court and say the lady is at the middle of the court right here looking towards this camera that I'm looking at. Instead of going behind her, instead of going beside her, I go right in front of her and I'm looking directly at her. So my back is to the camera and it is taking up the whole jumbotron. And I'm looking at her like this. I'm like, like listening to her talk. Like she's on a microphone just to talk to me. I'm like this.
She goes, and she's like doing her PNL. Trying to get you to move. And she like grabs me and moves me to the side. And when I turn around and look and see 7,000 people looking at me and then that big red light on that camera, I'm like, and then whenever her segment ends, the camera turns off and she looks at me. She goes, she just shakes her head.
She was so disappointed in you. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I could imagine you- Hey, what if she was like this too? What if you were so messed up anxiously that you were trying to just really lock in on her? And she's like, yeah, so the drill. And you're like, you start like bobbing with her. She's like, so this drill, this app that we're partnering with, you're like, what are you doing? Oh, come here. You're blocking her. Your eyes, they're just getting bigger and shit.
Oh my god, Peyton, no. Something is wrong in the tummy area. I don't feel well. No, you just farted. Again, by the way. I've got bad poop syndrome. You're like that kid from Charlie Brown. That little dust cloud follows you. I feel like something's leaking every time. My ears, my nose, my eyes. I know we've talked about this a lot. Your diet is bad.
Like, you need to understand. I've been doing a lot better. No, you're not. I've been doing a lot better. Your organs are finally crippling. Like, they're getting to the last little bit they have. They're all just... Why do you say finally? Like, you've been waiting on the moment. Like, he's dying. Because you do not eat well. We've all been telling you. I've been doing a lot better. All of your loved ones. No, you don't eat vegetables. You don't eat fruit. No, no, no. I do eat vegetables. I do eat vegetables. I swear to God, I do. You eat vegetables. Put...
I have not, I can't even, I cannot even generate a picture of you eating a salad. Eating anything to do with vegetables. My corn intake has always been phenomenal. I am astonished. Like, I astonish people how much corn I eat. I will f*** up a cob. Your corn intake. I'm the corn kid. And you think you're eating vegetables. I've always loved corn. You're eating corn.
You're not eating vegetables. You're eating corn. You do this on purpose. You do this on purpose. I said you don't eat fruits. I said you don't eat vegetables. And I said corn. And I said corn. Corn is not a vegetable.
Holy shit. You're not doing this again. No, because after the whole internet killed me over fruits, vegetables, and fishes and animals, after the whole internet killed me over fishes and animals, I've done research. I've been trying to do better. Corn is not a vegetable. Okay, let's break this down for you. Smart guy. Nutritionist. Let's break it down. I'm more of a nutritionist. What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? Fruits have seeds. Point blank period. Does corn have seeds? No.
Oops! Step one, Payton wins, Cam loses. Corn has kernel. Kernel of corn. Is that a seed? It's not not seed. It's in its own category. It's not a vegetable. Why do you argue to just argue? Does it have a seed? Bro. Does it have a seed, yes or no? You need to read an encyclopedia. Don't own those. It does not have a seed. Okay, do vegetables have seeds? Yes.
No, I meant no. I meant no. No, they don't. Where do vegetables come from? It's in a different category. Where do vegetables come from? What am I supposed to say? Guatemala? What are you talking about? We're talking imports, exports? No, where do they come from on the earth? The ground. Okay. Soil. Where does corn come from? It's grown in the ground. And the soil. I'm smoking you. I finally got one. You think you're breadcrumbing me? Corn is not a, it is in a different category. What is it? Corn is like barley and wheat. It's like a oat. Oh,
Almost. Corn is bread. Corn is closer to bread than a vegetable? Yeah. It's close. It's definitely closer. What is wrong? Name three vegetables right now. Lettuce. Okay. Tomatoes. Okay. Corn. Nope. Nope. Name three other. Widely accepted. Lettuce. Broccoli. Tomato. Broccoli. Okay. Lettuce. Green. Tomatoes start green. Broccoli green. What color is corn? That's not the strongest of arguments. That's a bad argument because bananas start green. And bananas are fruits. Exactly. Exactly.
So is corn a fruit now? No, I was negating your argument. And I'm negating yours by saying just because that, oh, that was bad. Yeah. It's not. What is it? Do you want me to tell you? Yes. You really don't know? I think I do. It's like a grain. Corn is a grain. It's not a vegetable. You Quaker Oats bitch. What does that mean? It's a grain. I'm eating oatmeal.
What the f*** are you talking about? It's a grain. Corn, because at the base, there's so much corn. It can be mauled down to cornmeal. It can be used in corn products, corn starch. It is a grain. It's not a vegetable. It's not like lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, zucchini, cucumber. It's a grain.
Why? It's not... Sigh. It's not green, leafy. It's not vegetable. There's almost zero nutrients. See, that's the shit I don't get. Every other vegetable you eat dissolves. Corn, you poop it out the same way. I did poop in the tub with my brother when I was like two years old and I pooped corn on his kneecap.
You pooped corn on your brother's limbs? Yeah, we used to bathe together as kids. You know, like, your parents put you in the tub together. It's bath time. And your little, like, three-year-old self. Yeah, okay. Well, my sister's 14 when I was born. So that'd be a little strange. I don't think we're having bath times quite much. But, and my brother was 11. So it just wasn't happening. Maybe they shared that, but not me. Corn is not a vegetable. It's not a vegetable. That's why you're so bitter. You never got sibling baths. I never had sibling baths. That's why I'm a bitter man.
You just... Corn is a sweet army knife. I can't explain why I know these things, but I feel as if other humans should. I'm not arguing with you that you're wrong, because the more I think about it, corn is a diverse subject. It is a... It's a jack-of-all-trades. Because you can iron some clothes with corn. You can do any and everything with corn. You can put corn to work. Iron some clothes, make a meal. Hell, you can... You could enjoy a movie. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What? Yes or no? This is disgusting, and it's poop talk again. Yeah. Could you survive on one can of corn for your whole life?
Explain that to me. You eat the corn, you poop it out, you wash the poop, you eat the corn. What is wrong with you? It doesn't dissolve. Would you do that? Oh, hell no. Hell no. I would chew my own arm off the bone before I ate recycled poo corn. Oh, and this kind of brings me back to our would-you-rather days. I want to do more. You want to do more? You know I'm good for a would-you-rather. Okay, okay. This is one I saw a while ago, but I got away from the would-you-rathers because I hate arguing with you and I'm trying to show you more love. Yeah, please. Thank you. Oh my God, and you gasped.
I don't gas anything. You gaslight me like a son of a bitch. Read all the comments. You gaslight me. You are the ignition. You are the master of lanterns. Master. You are Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin Franklin. Whoever made that, you're him. You're the king of lanterns. Okay. You design lanterns and light them above my head. We'll see how you behave. Behave. Now I'm a pet. Say behave. Behave.
You let me put a collar on you one time. No, I did not. That was secrecy. I never wore a collar. Okay. Don't you clip though. Would you rather at one point of the day, random times every day, it's never consistent. Would you rather at one point of the day at a random time every day, your clothes automatically dissolve off your body? Jesus Christ.
Do I ever get them back? Are they just gone forever? No, you got to go put on some new clothes. You got to go find some clothes to put on. That's not my question. Do I get to retain the shirt I had? Is it gone forever? I don't think that matters. Oh, it matters to me. You frugal freak. No, it matters to me. It does.
Frugal. I am. You have public indecency and you're worried about, do I get the clothes back? Because I'll never wear my good garments. I'll wear plain white hands. So you get them back. They pop up in your closet randomly. Okay, nice. So would you rather at one random point of the day, your clothes evaporate off your body at a random point every day? Okay. Or would you rather every time you buy underwear or a toothbrush, it's used? Ugh! That's so hard.
I don't think it's that hard personally, but that's disgusting on the back end. You don't think it's hard? I know what I would choose. The fact that you are confident in any of these answers is concerning. I know what I would choose though. 100% naked. My clothes can disappear. 100%. Are you nuts, Cam? You're going to use a used toothbrush.
I want you to think about what you just said. A used toothbrush. Okay. Used underwear. That's fine. That could be a cesspool. Okay. And you're just going to put it over your big giblets. You're going to use someone else's PPD. There's post-penile drip in that underwear. And you have to just put it on your manhood. Just go in there and cup it up. Give it a nice wet blanket. Okay, let's think about this. Let's think about my life as Peyton Harden. Okay. How often do I brush my teeth?
Probably not as much as you. Once a month, right? I give that one good scrub once I start feeling pain. That's my benchmark for brushing my teeth. Once I start feeling pain whenever I breathe in, it's time to brush.
That is despicable. How often do I change my underwear? You don't wear it often. Exactly. Okay, so that makes it easy for you because you already live like a caveman. You are already a cave dweller. Okay, but think about your life, Cam. You want to have kids in the future, right? Yes, you're making this weird. You drop your kids off to school. How long is this curse? Is it with me for the rest of my life? Both of them are with the rest of your life. Imagine, 8 a.m., you're dropping little Cam off to school. Oh, God. Have a good day.
Go look down. You can't go within 100 feet of a school ever again in your life. I might go to jail. I'm going to stay in the car. You can't go to any of their choir recitals. Liv. Liv will drop the kids off. Oh, you don't... You never get the magic of taking your kids to school. Liv will drop them off. You never get to go to one of your kids' basketball games. Oh, I'll be in the back. I'll be in the... I will be... You know the part where the bleachers connect to the wall? That's where I'd be. I'd be like... I'd be creeping. Okay, but...
But I'm not, you're over here talking about jail and stuff. I'd have it in writing. I'd say, hey, I don't know what happened to me. Once every 24 hours, I get butt-ass naked. I can't really explain it. It's not the best thing. And you think they're going to make an exception for you? I know it's not advantageous. I'll try to wear a couple extra coats. It still doesn't work, okay? I got a good cup system going on. You are using another human's toothbrush. Kim. I wouldn't even use my wife's toothbrush. In college, I used to use your toothbrush. No, you f***ing didn't. You f***ing didn't.
You didn't know that? You used my toothbrush. I swear to God, no bullshit. I've used your toothbrush since college. We were close. Not that close. Not close enough. I thought you knew that. You used my toothbrush. Don't act like you're holier than thou. You used to share deodorants. Okay, King James, King Charles version, holier than thou? Where about thou are you? Who'd you just turn into? We didn't share deodorants.
That's different. It's the same shit. That is nowhere near. And when I shared your crusty ass deodorant because I used more than you and I ran out, I took a paper towel. What did I do? You'd wipe it. Wipe it off, use it, re-wipe it, and give it back to you. How many pairs of underwear? You used my toothbrush. There's no wiping a toothbrush. Rinse it under some warm water for 10 minutes.
It's clean. You used your fucking toothbrush. Cam, Cam, you act like you're... That explains it. You act like you're better than everybody. Cam, how many pairs of underwear that you bought, that you used, are at my house that I regularly use still? That's because we're close and I washed them before. They weren't given to you used. I didn't take them off and go, here you go. No. Have I returned to... I've returned them like that to you though. You've returned half. You've only returned half. You've kept majority. And when I do return them to you, are they washed? No, but I wash them. Okay. The question is that you...
Every pair of underwear you wear has to be used. Yeah. I don't care. Every time you brush your teeth on someone else's toothbrush, that is a foul that I can't even put to. Okay, I don't want to live my life worried about if I'm going to church on Sunday, Deacon calls me up and I'm butt-ass naked. He sees everything. You're going to have to do a lot from online. I'm not going to lie. I'm swinging through the congregation. What do you mean? The offering plate's got a little something extra in it this time. What do you mean? Who wants that?
You got a first class ticket. You know what I mean? I got a court date for a speeding ticket. I'm going to prison now. Okay. I might have to do a double cup action and explain to a judge, have fun with George Washington Carver breath. Have fun with wood teeth. Wooden mouth. Okay. Easy way to get out of it. Veneers. I give veneers.
Easy way to get out of it. I live my life from the house. Doesn't sound that funny. Exactly. You don't want to live like that. You like going out. You like hanging out with people. I also, one of my toxic traits is I also feel that I could find the pattern and I could feel when I'm about to get undressed. No, it's random. You don't know. Can I at least get that? Can I get a one minute warning timer? No. Random. One minute warning. No. Work with me. See, no, you can't change it because you know you picked the wrong option. Work with me. No. No.
It's supposed to be hard. Random. I could be kissing me mom on the forehead. I love me mom. Butt ass naked. You're okay. You want your hat? Your teeth are going to match your hat. Think about that. My toothbrushes. I can go get the best toothbrush ever right now. My teeth still are gross. You think I give a shit about dental hygiene?
Cam, Cam, look, that's where we're different. I love teeth. There's, and there's ways to get out of it. You free ball the rest of your life. Cool. You don't wear underwear. You just, you might get a nut sack caught in a zipper on some jeans. You might get a nut sack in a zipper, a couple of ball hairs ripped out. Who cares? Take some pain and just live your life with mouthwash. That is foul. Mouthwash covers brushing your teeth. You don't have to brush your teeth if you use mouthwash and floss. I knew something was wrong with you. You think mouthwash covers brushing? I flossed last night for the first time in like half a year. You would have thought somebody shot me in my mouth.
Mike Tyson just went. It looked like the beach in Normandy. I know it did. Oh, God. You don't floss? You thought Mike Tyson hit me with an uppercut? You don't floss? Like, regularly? No. I've never been a good flosser. You know how often they say you're supposed to floss? How often? Six times a day. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I was about to get real mad. I'm kidding. Once. You're supposed to brush twice, floss once. I don't like that. But it really is a real thing, though. Massive chunks of food get stuck there, and that's what causes bacteria and stuff. I've been brushing twice a night now. The past three days, I've brushed twice a night.
Are you saying that on purpose or are you misspeaking? No, I'm saying what happens. Every night I brush twice a night. You brush twice at night? Twice a night. Please explain this. So I go to bed, right? And I'm like, I need to be better. And so I brush my teeth to go to bed, right? And then every time I go to bed, I watch a movie and I get hungry. Like something about my body in movies, I instantly get hungry. And so I'm like, okay, it's time to eat. And so I always have chips by my bed. I door dashed four bags of munchies, two spicy, two cheese, right?
I ate one full cheese and one full spicy. And I had a two liter Diet Coke. So I chugged the two liter Diet Coke. Plenty of vegetables there, right? Apparently, corn. There's no corn in that. Is a pretzel a vegetable? Is a pretzel a vegetable? Where do pretzels come from? Dough. All right. We covered this. So it's a grain. Pretzel's a grain. Incorrect. But you said bread's a grain. Pretzel derives from that, but it's a complete new product. It's a chip. Thank you. Corn.
Ha ha, got him. That's called a rope and pull. A pretzel is a pretzel. We're not doing this. We're not doing it. So your final verdict is you would rather risk the chance of prison, never be able to go in public, instead of just washing your ass, free-balling, and using mouthwash. That's what...
Don't see I don't think I feel like live my partner would accept me for knowing that I might be butt-ass naked anywhere I don't think she I don't think we could make love. I don't think she'd kiss me I don't think she would enjoy me anymore if I'm wearing another man's underwear using another man's toothbrush cuz unlike you Dr. Badmouth over here. Yeah, dr. Sick breath. Yeah, I'm not just gonna Listerine till I die, but do I need to brush my breath isn't bad though. That's crying. I
I'm just kidding. That was a one-time story. Yeah, definitely give me clothes vaporizing. I'm excited to see what people say about this. I'm actually really excited to know that I get to keep the clothes. Because if they were gone forever, that would suck. Yeah. I'd be wearing plain white Hanes every day. Yeah. I'd be like, I got another t-shirt going. Yeah, that sucks. No, you suck.
Bro, I can't even look at you. I'm literally thinking about your mouth right now. That sounds crazy. That sounds wild. I think about your mouth often. I think it's time for people's favorite segment. You know what that is? Pop culture, pay it in camp. Pop culture, pay it in camp. Pow! I have a pop culture this week that I think can take the whole segment. Oh, shit. If you want to talk about... I was excited about mine, but go ahead. Say yours real quick. No, you go. No, say yours. I was going to say, IHOP and Applebee's had a merger.
I saw that, and if that's a real thing, that's horrendous for health. Imagine that. Let me get a small stack and a margarita of the month. That's disgusting. That is foul. Imagine eating flapjacks over a nice sangria. Imagine that.
Can I get a Miller with that? Let me get a vodka pineapple and a Colorado omelet. That is foul. That is a horrid burger. That is a barbaric place to be in. That's how you know they're both struggling, to be honest. That's a cry for help. Once they change to burgers. That is a cry for help. That makes sense because I said IHOP changed to burgers. They did. It was IHOP. Chicken and waffles. It was IHOP for a little bit. International House of Burgers. Yeah, they were struggling with that marketing. Bro.
Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. Pancakes and Sangria. I can honestly say... That sounds like a song of like a bad... Like the title of like a bad SoundCloud song. Yeah. Pancakes and Sangria. Yeah. Is that the title of the episode? That sang... Pan...
Sandpakes and pangrein is what I said. What was your pop culture? Okay. I'm just saying I'm never going to go there. I'm never going to go there. You will literally never be able to get photographic evidence of me inside of an IHOP Applebee's. Inside of an Apple IHOP Bees. Yeah, never. Never in a day in my life. I thought it was bad when they fused Long John Silvers and A&W. Bro, I was driving...
Yesterday, when I was following you to get the electric scooter or the electric bike, I saw a KFC and a Long John Silver's match in one building, and I said, burn that place. That's not terrible. A KFC holds some weight. I almost swatted that place. I was almost like, hey, there's something happening in there. Bust the door down. There's illegal activity back. All right. I saw this on TikTok. Okay. And you're going to love it because it's right up your alley. Okay. But I think it's a very up-in-the-air debate. Okay.
In terms, let's say, of versus battle. Okay? It's artists, music. Yeah. Who would win this versus battle? This is like childhood. That's when they were both popping. Okay. T-Pain and Be Honest versus Akon. That's a good... Bro, in the songs they were playing, that's a good-ass matchup. It's a versus battle? Versus battle. T-Pain.
I don't know, bro. Like, Akon had Earth on. Like, here, you pull up T-Pain, I'll pull up Akon. Okay, you go to, like, the essentials. T-Pain, does it include features? Including features. Oh, yeah. No, T-Pain's clearing. I don't know about clearing. All right. Oh, my God. All right, dude, T-Pain's clearing. Okay, you have to do features. Like, we have to match a feature with a feature or a solo with a solo. Okay. All mine are T-Pain songs. Huh? I'm not even going to go features. Okay, go.
Buy You a Drink. Okay. I want to love you. How does that go? I see you whining and crying. I didn't know the name of that song. Buy You a Drink is better. It's a bigger song. I really don't know. It's way bigger. Are you nuts? Bro, Akon had earth like rap. T-Pain had earth rap. And it was in the same time period. T-Pain changed music. Go. Bartender. Smack that. Bartender literally has Akon on it. How could you use that song? That's both of them.
But it's T-Band's song. But it goes for both because we said including features. Low. Low, smack that. Smack that's not better than low. It's no. Smack that. Keep going. Can't believe it. Ooh, I can't believe it. Lonely. It's a good song. Facts. I'm telling you, bro. It's a good song. I'm so hood. Oh, you want to go to...
T-Pain wasn't in the streets like Akon. All I do is win? T-Pain wasn't in the streets like Akon had. I'm a sole survivor. Sole survivor with Jeezy. That's a great song. We taking over. Okay, blame it. All right. Locked up. Kiss kiss. Right now. I'm in love with a stripper. Don't matter. Whoa, right now is not better than any song we have already said. It's not better than any of the songs I just said. It's a banger. It's a banger. Top tier song. Banger. I don't know. Yeah, that's tough.
Don't matter. Then you have, then you, if you really want to do like, uh, features as well, bro, sexy bitch by David Guetta with Akon. She's a sexy bitch. Damn girl. Yes, you do. It's not a good song. No, but I'm just saying I'm so paid. I'm so paid featuring Jeezy and Lil Wayne. Come on. Akon was in the streets and giving you lover boy music.
Come on, man. I'm so paid. Stop it. There's an article that I'm reading. It's called The Impact of Akon and T-Pain. I'm trying to see if they can pair up. I wonder who actually did better in terms like number-wise. Let us know, guys. Let us know. And we're not talking about any new stuff they've dropped. Like, you know, their OG stuff. Okay, let me see. How many? Oh, this is going to commercially decide. All right. So I'm going through T-Pain's thing. He has one, two...
It looks like he has three number ones, right? In one number one album. Okay. Akon has two number one hits. 14 in the top 10. Oh, I didn't even see that. So he might have got edged out on a couple of them. I can tell you how many. But he has two number ones with 13 in the top 10. There's one, two, three.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. He has 15 in the top 10. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. That's tough, though. It is close. It's closer than you thought. That'd be good. That's a good versus. That's a good versus. And it'd be vibes. It'd be very vibes. It'd be vibey as hell. Didn't Akon put lights in Africa? Yeah. So Akon definitely has the philanthropy part down. T-Pain's just...
He changed music. Getting grills and doing NPR. Don't you disrespect him. Oh, I love T-Pain. He changed music forever. If I personally had to choose, I'm going T-Pain. But I'm just saying, it's definitely closer. Like, my personal favorite, I'd pick T-Pain over Akon. I think with writing, too. I wonder who wrote more hits for other people. Probably Akon. I don't know.
That's a fantastic one. That's a good-ass versus. I saw that, and I was like, God, that's genius. Yeah, that's really good. Let us know if you're Team Akon, Team T-Pain. You got to let us know. And that was Pop Culture Payday Cam.
Pop Culture Panic Cam. Bow! Get us out of here. Oh, before you get us out of here, remember the merch is available on the 25th. March 25th. A two-piece exclusive merch drop. A hundred of each product is being made. A hundred of each product is being sold. No more, no less. And the way we're going about merch in the future...
It's going to be like that. Exclusive, high quality. You got to get it because you can never go and get it again. And there's going to be different things dropping left and right. So welcome to the new era of the merch. We got streetwear now. Tell us what else we got going on.
We got Facebook, Twitch, Patreon, Discord. Discord. You can go be a part of the secret channel if you come into the Patreon. Patreon. We got a whole Day in the Life series, extra episodes, bonus episodes. Of course, 10-Minute Talks with Mama Liv. You'll see a ton of cool stuff on there. Go check out the Koala Club now. Bam!
Facebook, the official Facebook. Again, like every episode is linked in this one. There's a lot of imposters out there. If anybody else is speaking from first person like me and him, no, it's not us. If it's not coming from this Facebook that is linked right here and Twitch, the first Twitch stream was so much fun. Hope y'all enjoyed it. Uh,
Hell, you said you did, so I don't know if you're lying to our face or if you were just being nice. Yeah. But plenty of more streams to come. It's going to be fantastic. This was episode 104. Do you know what that means? We didn't even talk about it. Oh, it's your one-year anniversary? Well, 104 divided by 52 is... Two years. That's good. Happy two years to Cameron. I forgot. Hey. Anyway, finally hit the two-year mark. Secret code is 2YD. Yeah. I got you a gift. No, you didn't. I didn't.
2YD what does it stand for? two year days two year decorate what's two years two years down two years down two years down TYD one more to go leave it in the comments one more to go yeah right two years down infinity to go we absolutely love y'all TYD leave it in the comments confuse the casuals get your good karma but and remember one out of ten clawbears don't make it home to equipment and we will see you hello next time I didn't even hear what you said hello