MY HOUSE SET ON FIRE! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the Usual Podcast, episode 129. If you're new here, if you're already looking below you, see something, sorry, what is it? Press? You're wrong. If you look even more below that, you see that comment section, it says, Fulfilled with your name. Guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. Get your good karma. We're in the fourth quarter of the year, and you know our goal by the end of the year is to hit one million subscribers, and we're almost there. I think we, what are we at now? Seven something? I think, so we're almost there. We can do it. If we rally,

Everybody together in the You Should Know podcast, on the Discord, on the Patreon, on the Facebook, on YouTube, on Spotify, iTunes, and now Reddit. I feel like we can get the word out there. TikTok, I think we can get the word out there. Get one million subscribers by the end of the year. And I told you a lot of new things are coming.

A lot of small surprises, a lot of big announcements. And one of the new surprises is this fourth camera pointed at our people behind. Yeah, yeah.

So we're going to test that out in the comment section right now. Go ahead and tell me if you like seeing them. If not, we will burn that camera. We'll throw it under a bridge and have Cameron Kennedy swim and eat it because he loves to eat things that don't belong to him. Guys, we love you so much. And now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast.

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back in the studio yeah i like yeah i like that how you feeling bubba you look good you look green i don't like your shirt you keep saying that i hate the way i literally call i called him this morning hey what are you wearing i don't want to be a clone of you because you're already better looking than me so i go what are you wearing good morning he shows me that yeah i show him mine he goes hey change your shirt yeah i said what do you what do you mean what's wrong with my shirt he goes change it's not the best yeah what the hell is wrong with the shirt okay

I said that because I have an alternative for you. I have a new shirt for you. I knew you weren't going to listen to what I said. And if you would have, you could have been fine. But now you have to wear what's in the lost and found. You have to wear the janitor closet t-shirt. What am I trying to get in a club? And you have to wear it. I have to wear a new t-shirt. Jesus Christ, your bag's back there. I didn't even see. Why am I, you're handing me a shirt. Don't look yet.

But this is the shirt that you have to wear on today's episode.

So go ahead and do a quick swap. You know what I mean? Daddy? What size is this? Don't know. It came in a P.O. box. Extra large. Okay. Yeah. Okay. The blue and greens might clash, but outside of that, I think I'm good. I want me on your chest and not just on that T-shirt. Here we go. Oh. You know what that means? That's coitus. I'm talking about that good old love making.

Look at those muscles. Put the shirt on. Put the shirt on. We're in a corporate building. It's okay. Now you just exude sexual. There we go. Oh, God, no. The real question is, do I keep this or does it go back to you? Oh, no, it's yours. That's yours. Now I'm happy. Now I'm happy. You look good. How does it feel to have a bunch of mini-me's all over your chest? Not the first time.

That's a joke about... Really bad swallow I had. When's the last time you were at the comment section? Back to... About my coughs and my bodily fluids? I was just going to say comment section in general. No, it's all the time. I mean, we read it this last week. It's alarming how much people don't like your cough. Yeah, no, I know. It's a dry... I've been in a dry cough season for like four months. Yeah. And my nose is itching. But having a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

Eight-face collection of you with different moments in time. A lot of black. You're wearing a lot of black. Not black skin. A lot of black. A lot of...

That's one black guy. That's a black, black, black, dark green, black, black, white, and white. Yeah. And one was not by choice. I don't wear colors. I'm trying something new today. It looks fantastic. First off, let's talk about your shirt. Talk about my outfit. What does that say? Beware of the dog. That says play for keeps. Play for keeps. Beware of the dog. That sounds like a bad, like a FSC school. Beware of the dog. Okay.

Like, we're coming to get you. Then they got beat 60-0. But the best part of it... You have a bedazzled collar. Not even that. There is bedazzles. One wash, I feel like that'll be gone. But the best part, you can see my butt. Hey!

Oh. Oh. That is sensual. Those pants are tight in all the right places. Okay, I'm not going to lie. I was expecting like a ooh, ah, maybe a clap or something. You did say ooh. They did say ooh. I think it was more like a scared ooh. It was like ooh. Everyone said oh. Oh. You have a nice rump ass. It's like tight and muscular. Me and Cam have a Simone Biles ass. That is strange. And that might not make post-edit. But I had to see it.

I had to say what my heart truly felt. So you could close your eyes and know what Simone Biles' behind looks like. I didn't mean it like that. I meant she's a short-statured woman with a lot of muscle. But you're like opposite but the same. It's like a chemical compound. You're completely opposite. You're quite large. Much larger than the average in all the right places, too. But your butt is...

Your ass is of a Division III walk-on wrestler. You have a DIII walk-on wrestler ass. And it's gorgeous, and I love it. But it's not suited for a long athlete basketball player. You know, you have the ass of a second-grade lunch lady. So if you want to play that game...

You can make a mean yam if you wanted to. I can make the shit out of that cardboard pizza. Oh my God. Okay, but speaking of food, right? I was here yesterday all day. I was here a long time yesterday just doing different things. You were. I was here so long.

that my bowels started to creep up on me. Yes. And I was at a crossroads, right? It was the middle of the day. I wasn't done with my work here. Poop first. But I had to defecate so bad, I couldn't hold it. Oh, I already know where you're at. You know one of my biggest fears is a public poo. You don't do it? I don't do well with a public poo. I'm scared of it. Haunts your dreams. It's really the part of, I'm scared if I leave the stall and somebody's washing their hands, they know I just got the deed done. Poop.

And now you know, we share that intimate moment. That's like a one night stand and you see him two weeks later. Oh, that's what I feel like when I'm not good. One night stand, but you see him two weeks. Good morning to you. Like, I like, I was like, sorry. So I went into the bathroom, right? Yesterday. I went into this public bathroom yesterday, right here in the office. And this is a formal complaint to the building that we recorded. Okay.

I went in there. There was nobody in the bathroom. I go to the last stall. It's the furthest away. It's the biggest, and it's the most safe. Yes. I open the stall, and in front of the toilet, I saw an empty Chipotle burrito bowl and a fork with three grains of rice and one corn on it. Now, my question is, who the f*** in this building is eating Chipotle on the pot?

That is a monster. That person gives zero shits about your safety, my safety, any cleanliness all out the window. If you can...

eat and poop at the same time you might collect the bodies in your basement yeah you're a killer oh okay and chipotle so now it's like you're you're you're eating shit and shit that's like revving your engine when you're pumping gas like you know what i mean you're like oh my god okay let's spin this okay if you had to consume a meal while on the pot what would it be

What would be the least gross option? I'm talking about a meal, not a bag of Goldfish. Oh, it has to be like a full meal. Because I was going to go yogurt. Maybe a parfait. I was going to say a liquid IV. But no, I'm talking a dinner. Something that could contain you. The last thing on my mind would be any sort of pasta. That's too messy and I'm having a mess downstairs. I don't need a mess up on my mouth. You know what I mean? Yeah, double mess. Both holes. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. You know what I think you would eat? A sloppy joe.

I was going to say a Jersey Mike sandwich. I was going to say a number seven cold Mike's way hold the tomato, add mayo, add bacon, add pickles. I would honestly say a salad. It gives suburbs. Exactly. Oh, my God. You're so Instagram. A salad.

I'm a shit. Give me a kale spread. Okay, sorry I'm not a dirty gargoyle Viking king like you are. It's like, oh, give me sloppy joes and pasta and nasty Jersey Mike's. I'd eat a double Baconator on the pot. Yeah, you don't care about life, though. Honestly, no, that's bad. That is very bad. Like, that is... Oh, my God. I can't even think. I can't even think. Oh, my God. Speaking of public places. Oh...

Strap in, buddy. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm cursed. I don't know if I said something to the wrong girl one time, wrong guy. I had another public outing turn tragedy. Story time commences now. God bless you. So this is what happened in your week. So how was your week, Bubba? This is how it went. Here we go. So me and Liv, we're getting close to being homeowners. Nice. Congratulations. Thank you. Oh, God. It is a process. We are getting close. So what comes to the new house? A lot of new decor.

So we go the cheap route, right? Of course you would. We go the penny-pinching, saving fruit, Michael Kennedy route. Of course you would. We take our beautiful asses to TJ Maxx. I love a good TJ Maxx. See, we've complained about it before. Long lines. We said this last week, actually. TJ Maxx has a niche of being irritable. Yes. Okay? Yeah, long lines, always.

Today is a different day. It was like a brand new TJ Maxx, even though it's been there for 20 years. God bless. We go there, no line. It was the middle of the day, too, where the vultures are out. No line, pretty peaceful. One elderly lady asked my wife about her hair. They had a little five-minute conversation. Was she white and did she touch it? She did. Okay. She goes, I love your locks. Good, okay. She was. So, long story short.

She was getting some decor things. I got some decor things, but I also I just sprinkled in got a couple guy things. Mm-hmm, right I got some underwear and what else was I got some underwear and some shorts a pair of shorts Okay riveting. Yeah, we get no the riveting part comes right now. Okay, we get to the checkout Yeah, this lady. I don't know if it was her wrong day I don't know if she hates me and she's never met me. We start checking out and

Everything I'm about to say is from this one woman in a span of about a minute and a half. Okay. Okay? First thing, she's grabbing decor, drops it, shatters. It's glass. That's something I wanted to purchase. It's now off the table. You broke my vase. That's not yours. She dropped it, shatters it. Next thing, she grabs my underwear. I am not even shitting you. She grabs my underwear. She looks at it. It says large, right? She goes...

She looks me up and down after looking at the underwear. Swear to God. I love this lady. Okay. She's like, are you sure? She goes, mediums are back there. I go, you ratchet little. Okay. She breaks the vase, checks my underwear. Liv has a candle for the house. God bless. Yes or no. Does she open the candle and go,

She sniffs our candle in front. This woman had, she flew no flag. She's a creed. She honored no creed. She holds no bounds. She smells our candle. Yeah. Caps it, goes, scans it, puts it in the bag. Fourth and final. Fourth and final. Liv got a couple little earrings, little dainty jewelry. She looks at the earrings. She literally, I shit you not. I swear to God. She goes,

And she holds it up to her. I'm like, are you serious? This isn't a garage sale. What are you doing? She literally was like, it's like she was, it's literally felt like she was.

Like she was trying to upset me. She broke something. She sized up my manhood. She's checking my Johnson. She, she, she sniffed my, you now know what my home smells like. You know what my most intimate part smells like. And you're trying on my wife's jewelry. I feel like you could base like a horror movie off of that. Like that, like she goes home and recreates her whole home to fit your life. Literally. You know what I mean? Like a Pontiac.

She puts on those earrings, puts on the earrings. She wears the boxers. She sniffs the candle. She grabs a plate and shatters it. And she goes, she's like, bro, it was so, but it was all so quick. Me and Liv were literally sitting there like, we were like, dude, when she did the earrings, that was like the set it off. Cause I was like, I actually thought, I was like, what else could she possibly do to make this worse? And then she did that shit with the earrings at the very end. She went,

Okay, what if you were like walking out to the parking lot and you're getting your car and you looked and out the window she was like staring and see what your car was? I was going to say something that won't make it. It won't make the full length. I'd have to.

I'd have to. I'd have to absolutely end her. There's no shot. Because if I see you again, now you're stalking me. And now, citizens arrest binary code 14, page 4. I can either arrest you or harm you under the umbrella of law. I think she's me if I kept going with my thoughts. Because I like to be a creep. She's you if you never dropped out. If you never chased your dream and you finished basketball, got a degree, and you went to work somewhere else.

That's me. You'd be watching people eat through your window. You'd be like, just sitting there, just preying on people. Oh, could you imagine? Huh? You're surging amounts of creativity without a podcast. What would that look like? Prison. Yeah. I would be trying too much things. I'd be like, what happens if I trip this toddler? My first thought was you were naked on a balcony. Oh, I've done that. I know, but that was out of seduction and personal wants. I'm saying. No, no, it wasn't.

I couldn't sleep. Come again? I couldn't sleep. So I have a little sleep aid, right? You know my sleep aid. Yeah. I have to go to the balcony. And I was, it was the middle of the night. And I was just like, hey, if you're up at 3 a.m., right?

I was so little because it was like a little winter storm coming through or something. Why were you naked? I sleep naked. I don't even walk my dog without a shirt. And you were butt naked, Johnson hanging out, getting your sleep aid on over a balcony. I had pimple patches on. What if a six-year-old had a nightmare, looked through the window and just went, oh, well, then that's their fault. Don't peek. Don't creep. Don't peek. Don't creep. Don't peek. Don't see.

Don't you don't creep. Don't peek. Don't see naked on a balcony. Sleep a 3am. You should know podcast.

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Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. I think there's a lot of, I think since Halloween's coming up, October's coming up, right? Is it? September, October. Relatively close. Good morning. Couple weeks. How are we feeling? So, and you said that creepy thing happened to you. Yes. A creepy thing happened to me and CJ at our house. Oh God. Oh God, at the house? At the house. I think the house is haunted.

So let me preface this by saying, when I'm not home, and CJ's just home alone, he's a creep. No, I'm kidding. No, it smells like Boof. Yeah, it smells like Boof. He's naked with a big white theater dress. He looks like he's been crying.

No dead ass, CJ. Sometimes when I come home, you look like you got done crying. Yeah, I think he gets his tears out. And I should have addressed this personally, but it's starting to scare me. Like, what's happening? Like, do you cry? Okay. Yes, he does. He's a liar. Okay, but when I leave and go, like, I'm working or whatever, and he's at home doing whatever.

When I come back, he's like, P, I thought you were here the whole time. And I'm like, why? And he goes, because upstairs in your room, I heard like a thud, thud, thud, and like a TV playing. And then so I called out to your name, and you didn't say nothing. And then I heard it again, and so I went up there. And no TV was on, and no one was up there.

So let me just set the scene. That's my house, right? But me and CJ were playing NCAA, right? We're in the living room. We're playing NCAA. And me and CJ, a couple months ago, we bought walkie-talkies to talk to each other through the house. I swear to God. Yeah, so like I'll be on the third floor. He'll be on the first floor. Like if he needs to, yeah. Because cell phones aren't fun. Oh my God, what's your walkie-talkie name?

We don't have names. Oh, you've got to make them. No, but mine's Darth Vader. His is a Stormtrooper. Oh, the walkie-talkie itself. Yeah. Nice. So we were playing NCAA, right? And for some reason, that day, he brought – we haven't used the walkie-talkies in a while. He brought my walkie-talkie to me on the couch, and it was just sitting there, and he turned it on. He was sitting. We were playing NCAA. We were about a quarter in. All of a sudden, the walkie-talkie starts to go –

Me and CJ go, what the hell was that? We're looking at it and we're looking at each other. And I'm still thinking he's playing a prank on me. Like I'm just initially... Like in his pocket or something. Yeah, initially I'm looking at him like... But then I can see in his eyes, he genuinely does not know what that was. And so me...

I'm like, well, let me talk back to you. I grab it and I go, I got to make noises back. We put it back down. We start playing NCAA again. Say like two minutes later, it goes. Now I'm scared. Who is this?

I'm looking out the window, seeing if somebody has a walkie-talkie, because you know you can do the channels. But there's nobody outside. I'm like, dude, this is crazy. Me and CJ are looking at each other, what the hell is happening? We resume the NCAA game. We're playing. It's a kickoff return.

I get tackled, right? I get tackled. Normally it goes into like a cut scene or whatever and like a little animation. It does. But then my guy, my character on NCAA stands up and sprints out to the locker room with the ball in his hand. The hell is happening in this house?

It was the creepiest thing, and we never talked about it outside of that. What the hell? I genuinely think the house is haunted. What would you have done when you were looking? And it was like, that's what I was saying, too. We just watched a movie. You're getting close. Really? You're getting close. I pray to God. You can, but you might be in some contact with some extraterrestrials. What would you have done when you were looking? It was like, no, not that way, to the left. Oh, my God. And it was like that clear like that. Oh, my God. No, I'm...

I'd be in prison for arson. That whole house coming down.

You know what I mean? You would burn your own house? What? If they're spookies? I don't play spookies. Why would you just leave? Because my stuff's in there. I'm starting to think it's him. I think he's the bad omen. No, because my house was fine before. Your house was fine before. He's crying when you're gone. He's hearing people. He invited the greys in. Yeah. Go watch Dark Skies. You won't be laughing too much. Non-sponsored. Oh, my God. Wait. Oh, my God. What? Have y'all ever walked...

Say the night, right? So you walking up or you walking down, have y'all ever got to the living room and there was trash or stuff on the island that you don't remember leaving there or that you don't, it doesn't make sense why it's there. Has that ever happened? I feel like it has. I feel like it has, but I might've been drunk. Yeah.

so it can't really tell might have been hung turkey so i i think it was probably me uh if not yeah you need to pray you seriously i did find i didn't tell you about this i don't know if it was you or me or the spirits we have in the house oh my god he's bad there was a puddle of like water like in between the tv and the couch just a puddle of water and that's why that blue towel was out there because i put that yes bro it was there's just i don't know what the

I don't like it. No, you're possessed. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Hit that low. That was a good one. I don't like it. No, yeah, you need to come stay with me. Can I? You need to come stay with me. Pack a bag. No pajamas. I know you like to sleep naked. I'll sleep on the couch with you. No pajamas. You get fleas in your house, though, bro. I don't want to... I don't get fleas in my house. My dog might...

My dog... You got fleas. You got a flea house. No, I do not. My dog went outside in a backyard that was foreign to her and she probably hung out with a rabbit. That's all I'm saying. The rabbit was probably infested. Ruby's like... She got it and then she brought it to us, but we cleaned her. But I have a question. Speaking of houses, right? I got a question. Possessions. No. Okay. Now the internet will come after me. Oh, God. But I genuinely do not understand...

How hot and cold water works on a faucet or a shower in a house. How does that shit happen? How can I turn one knob, ice age, turn the other one, Satan spit. Satan spit is in my hand. You know what I mean? How does that work? Is there containers of hot water in the sink or is there a container of cold water in the sink? Or like in the tube?

Where's the water come from as well? First off, there's a thing called plumbing, right? So there's tubes on the inside and underneath your house. Yes. They take care of your poop, take poo-poo far away, bring you clean water. Right. Okay, that was given to us by Julius Caesar. Was it? I mean, early forms. Or the Uruk-hai. The Uruk-hai from Lord of the Rings? You just made me hard. Thank you. Don't put that on my camera. Don't put that on my camera. Back to hot water.

I'm gonna be an honest man. I don't fully get it. I don't, oh, you understand it, 19-year-old Bob the Builder? I know the valve part. I know how it stops.

Is that not expensive? Okay, but that's what I'm saying. But how is there just cooking hot water in this? Where is it coming from? We have a thing called water heaters. You actually have a tankless one. Very nice. Very prestige. Very demure. Very mindful. You have a very high dollar hot water system and you don't even respect

But, yeah. So most people, it's a big-ass tank, right? They got to keep in their garage, maybe even a pantry. Yours is a little keypad that big, and you go, 128, please. I didn't know I had that. Your shit's nice. But, yeah, I guess the – wouldn't that be gross?

If the water was always just sitting there waiting to come out. That's what I'm saying. Where's the water coming from? And it's so goddamn instant. How can I immediately do this and the water is out? No, you got a good house. You got a good house. Oh, you have to take a minute? I cut mine on. I got to set a timer. No, no, no, no. I'm not saying the heat of it. I also don't have to worry about it because it is instantly hot. You have a great house. No, I do. I'm just saying, how does the water instantly come out by the trigger of this little pool? So that part I can tell you. The water's in there. Yes. The trigger of the thing is, imagine something here that's going...

So there's water just sitting in that tube at all times. That's Nazar. You made sense when he said whenever there's a left and right hot and cold, right? My shower, I don't know if y'all have it, but... I love when you shameless plug your financial freedom.

I absolutely love it. I don't know why. It makes me tingle. I'm joking, bro. I'm joking. Oh, no, you're not. No, I sort of got it. No, you have very hot water. Some people don't. You have scolding hot water. I'm joking. You're talking about the heat of my... Wait, gas stove? His water boils in 18 seconds.

If I want to cook noodles, I got to set my evening around this. I could really get you right now. You could get me? I could get you. No, you can't. There's nothing you could get me that I can't get you. No, because they've exposed too many personal things. What? I know what the inside of your new home looks like. It is so nice. Well, that's... No, it is so nice. Okay, but that's... Your kids go to private school, dog. No, they're not. No, they're not. They're going to public. No, they're not. They're going to public. Private schools are weird. I'm just kidding. You saw that? I think I did that. What happened? I did. There's a...

Ghost following us. Here we go. Back on track. He made sense when he said the left and right pool of hot and cold water. But my shower is one nozzle and you rotate it around. How the hell can this little thing know when like hot and cold? How do you know what I'm saying? Technology is fantastic. That's a cop out ass answer. That is not. I don't know, but it works, doesn't it? See, you question things that are concrete. Why does that? But you don't know either.

When you go to the left, is the shit hot? Yeah.

Ding, ding, ding! I'm saying how? I don't, why do you need to know how? Because I'm not satisfied with life like you are. You're a robot, dog. All you do is sit in the shower, you clean yourself, you cry a couple times, you chug your chicken, and then you leave. That's all you do in the shower. So why do you need to know why it gets hot or how it gets hot? Sit like a man. You're so small right now. You are incredibly shrunken. You literally said this. You went to half your size.

No, okay. I'm just saying I don't get it. And let me know. We'll get off the showers here in a second. And water. Because no one... I have no distinguished panel here. You're afraid of water. That's what it is. That's why you need to know exactly what it is. I was going to go through this episode without making a racism joke. I was going to. I really was. No, I didn't mean it like that. You personally. Not your heritage. What? What? So you can say racism and I can't say heritage? We're going to say culture, background, upbringing?

What is- those are all fine words! They're fine words! It's what comes after them! Daddy? Daddy? I didn't even smooch you yet, I'm sorry. Mhm. Give me two. Tongue, you know I like it. Dude, I feel like I had a dri- okay, no your tongue's fat. This is weird, this is weird. One time, one time and I swear to god this is true, and no weird shit like "I love you, and you know I love women." No, no, no, don't say it! Don't say it!

No, but can I be honest? Okay. Like, deadass. I can't control my dreams. No! I've never had that! No, I've never had that! You were talking to me in a dream! Oh my god, bro! You sick creep! Oh, no. Hey, I'm not coming over for the next UFC fight. I'm not coming over. No, I don't know what it was! No, I'm just kidding. That's fine. I don't know why it happened. Hey, was it good? No! No! No!

That's what I'm saying though. I wasn't even good at it! No, it was f***ing aggressive. F***ing hurt. I'm sitting here. You're like... I'm like...

No, deadass. You were big. You were like bigger than me, dog. You were like coming down on me. Okay. What? What do you mean by that? All right. I do love women. Oh, yeah. We're not leaving this. No, we are. We are. No, we can't. We are. You had a dream. What was the scene? I don't remember. It was like a nice party. I don't remember. Did you hit a milestone? I think I was, because it was my abstinence stage. I was built up. So anything was getting me going. So it was.

So it was you. It was your bidding. It was my dream. So I was hanging out just like playing the game and you said, come here. No, no, I don't remember what led up to it, but you were definitely into it. And dog, I just remember your beard. I think it was the day I felt your beard. The day I felt your beard in real life. Because I've never felt it. And it's like, have you ever felt like a horse brush? Oh, that was fizzy. Have you ever felt a horse brush before? Yeah. That's what his beard feels like.

And it's not. It's a good beard. And I just remember you coming down on me. Your beard smelled like a Marlboro Red the other day. I don't know where that came from. I swear to God, it's my cigarette. No, I know. I don't know why. Oh. Oh, no. But anyway, you were coming down on me. And it was chin first. Okay. Not even like that. That was a chin joke. No, no. Dad, I'm not making a chin joke. But that's the first thing that I saw. Okay. And you led with your... My God, were you asleep? Did I wake you up to tongue?

You said that was the first thing you saw? Your eyes were closed and I just came on you? No. Oh, okay. God, I didn't mean it. No, the first thing I saw, like whenever you were making the attempt to court me with your mouth. I thought you meant the dream started. I was just like. You kiss weird. You kiss like going down. You were kissing like with your chin first and I didn't like it. We never made contact, but I just remember you hit me too hard. It was like a head-to-head. It was targeting. You got ejected. So. Oh, you didn't like it, but you didn't stop it.

I woke up. I woke up. No, I can't. That's way too much. I'm about to ask. No, no, no. God bless. No. That is some freak-ass shit. I know. I know. That's kind of... You kind of like it? No, no. Now you're going to have a dream. No, I'm not. You should know podcasts. All the Peyton girlies. We'll leave Cam out of this because he's taken. But all the Peyton girlies. Have y'all ever had a dream about me? Oh, my God.

Send the submissions via comments, Discord, DMs. Yeah, honestly, comment right now. In-depth and in detail, your dream you've had about me. What are you doing? In-depth and detail? Wait for me to glance. You're going to start a forum on our video. No, it doesn't have to be. I could have paid your college tuition. I don't know. What, they had a dream that you were eating a banana with salt and pepper? Maybe. I've had regular dreams about you.

Well, I have two. Okay. So I'm saying you're all the freaks making it. Find Jesus. You were just on the topic of me tonguing you with my chin for five minutes. You can't get mad at us. I'm assuming that's what you're talking about. I'm saying even if it is that, it's fine. It'll probably be more entertaining if it is a little more PG-13. And we'll read it on the next podcast. I like that a lot. Yeah, that would be fire. Let me produce. That's going to be a. Let me produce. Oh, man. The You Should Know Podcast.

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Do you ever play the Wii? Do I play the Wii? Do you ever play the Wii? I used to love the Wii. I have an honest question. I have an honest answer. Did you ever have a Wii horror story? Something went horribly wrong while playing the Wii? Off the top of your head. Do you remember the story I told about the New Year's Eve kiss whenever I tried to kiss that girl and we were connected by snot? Like in episode 40? Yes. There was a Wii there. And so now that whole thing is connected to that Wii. Okay. But that's the last thing. Not the snot girl. You don't have any...

Maybe you heard a TV. Maybe the wrist strap wasn't tight. Oh, no, my mom made sure it was tight. She said, you ain't messing up my TV. Okay. Ask me mine. Ask me mine. What's your worst Wii Sports story? Now, I kind of have a feeling I know what it's going to be. I have no idea. Take a guess. Please take a guess. You were, like, playing and you accidentally hit somebody? Oh, you got it right. But who did I hit? Was it your sister? It was my grandma. Oh.

I hit Meemaw with a mean spell. I said, I said, I said, I'm blind. Wait, isn't Meemaw blind? Yeah. How was she playing Wii? She wasn't playing with me. She was sitting there listening to it. She was sitting there listening to me throw strikes, paint corners, Picasso. I went for a 96 mile an hour curveball against the difficulty was on hard. I said, that's it. She was walking back and she went...

It was so bad bro. Did she fall? It was- we called EMS. It was so bad. It was so bad. Oh man. I don't know what made me think- actually, actually I got a phone call. She fell the other day. That's what made me think of it, but yeah. Sorry to- Oh, she gone to hell. Sorry to break- Liv! Liv! That's your Meemaw too!

I love Mima. I haven't seen her in a minute. Mima, I know you listen to the episodes. I love you. How are you doing? Does she still listen to the episodes? I hope so. Hey. She goes, oh, hey. Hey, Mike and Lisa. Sorry. They hate me now. Oh.

Poor Mia. So that's the end of the story? You put your grandma on the EMS from Wii Sports? Oh, yeah. What happened to her? Man. No, nothing ever happened. But it was more like a, she damn near Philly shelled it. She said, I'm like, you were lying this whole time to Kansi. I'm just kidding. But she was walking, and it was more of like, it was one of those things, I still made contact right on the nerve endings. Oh, you knocked her? Oh, yeah. It was a flash knock? No, she woke up two days later.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But it was one of those, you know how boxers evade and roll it off the shoulder? It was one of those. So it hit her shoulder first. Massive bruise. Hit her shoulder, but then got a little chin action. Very bad. I felt, how bad did I feel? Oh yeah. I was yelling too. Did she actually have a flash knockout? No. She didn't lose consciousness. She lost her feet though. She fell down to the ground.

Yeah, but we have a good carpet. It was like that foamy carpet with the extra thing at the bottom. Imagine she would have fell on the treasure chest. That would have been bad. If she would have hit her head on the treasure chest and she... The treasure chest! She went to be with the Lord. Cameron! I'm saying if. I'm saying if. Golly, son. If I was playing so hard against a game that requires me to move that I killed my grandma. And you don't have to go that hard for a week. I know, but I was really... But I was mad. I was trying to throw fast. Because I put the difficulty to hard and I couldn't beat him. Ugh!

That's disgusting and gross. My God, you swallowed it. You're going to hell. You're absolutely going to hell. You're absolutely going to hell, bro. Saints of the Lord don't swallow their loogies, bro. You're going to hell. What am I supposed to do with it? You get mad at me when I spit. Okay, because that's just like free band spit. Free band? Like future? Yeah, future. Future Hendrix. No, but I don't know why I said that. But that's free spit. That was crazy, bro. Future Hendrix.

That's crazy. I think you need a therapist. We had a whole company meeting about you. I think you need a therapist. No. I'm talking about the rapper and talking about spitting. Yes. You heard the two things in the one sentence and you immediately went to a sexual innuendo. Well, he's... You need...

I think I need a girlfriend. No, don't say that. You'll get about 2,000 DMs before the night's end. They scare me. Like a lot of the DMs I get. They do. They scare me. The DMs I get. Let's address that. Dumb quick. Not even a whole. That'll lead me into a story, but go ahead. You need to stop. No, no. Oh, no. I'm not saying stop. It's a confidence boost. Some of the things...

In there. Oh, yeah. Don't descriptively tell me what you'll do to my naked body. Yeah, that's what I don't know. That is, I mean, we're not reading smut. Like, he's trying to check DM. What? Smut. It's like on paper. It's called smut. Use that word. Smut. S-M-U-T. Smut. Is that a country saying? No, I think that's just like the phrase. Isn't that just an erotic novel? Yeah, but it's called smut.

No, yeah, she does. I know. Yeah, bless her heart. At first, I thought she was talking about the sister, and I was about to be like, Yahoo! Oh, oh, oh. Yesterday, we got a FaceTime call from her. Oh, no. Now we have to, did she address my... No. Oh, okay, I don't care then. Exactly. Then why'd you bring it up? Because I'm a FaceTimer again, and I'm going to say, did you see it? Oh, okay.

So the communication barrier is there. She's on her phone. She's active. She doesn't watch the podcast? She might have missed it. Dude, her, huh? Yeah, she always comes up with something good. But I'm saying. I think it's God trying to say we don't belong together. Oh, I think it's God. I think we do, though. Oh, my God. You licked your lip and then said that. Tony, my fault. Hey, Tony, my bad, brother. Hey, it's all comedy here, brother. Tony's sitting there. He chokes himself.

Now, who said it was a chicken wing? Who said it was a chicken wing? I just held something right here. It could be a piece of bacon. It could be a lollipop. Make a noise. I just said he was chewing. I literally said he's sitting here going, that's not a chicken wing. What if it was corn on the cob? If you have little stab things in the end, you can hold it. Okay, okay. Here we go. It leads me into a story. I swear I'm not. I promise. All right.

What is one thing I don't do? And we talked about this last week on 10 Minute Talks. There's a bunch of relationship stuff on Patreon. Go watch that if you haven't already. I don't go up to girls and shoot my shot. You don't.

Right? I don't do it. It makes me terrified. And I feel like girls are always bothered whenever they're out in public, so I try not to add on to that. I respect that. I will stare at you, though. I will look you. I will see your frontal lobe after an hour of staring at you. I will know your thoughts and insecurities. You know what I mean? And if you look back, then we're good. I'm fine with that. You understand what I'm saying? That's not right. Yes, it is. I'm not sitting here like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

I'm like this. I'm like a cool, like... No, I don't do that. Oh, man. I'm just like... Yeah, you're like this. You're like... Okay. But I was at this club. It was me, Ryan, and CJ. It was the boys. Where the hell was I at? You're a married old man. We were out here trying to talk to women. I feel that. So we were out here doing single boy things. Club hopping. We were going around. I like that. What...

So we were club hopping, right? We were going around to these different spots, right? At the second place, right? We were Ubering everywhere. I was a little tipsy going to the second place. So my confidence was at a level that it's not at in my regular day-to-day life. Liquid courage. You know what I mean? In a regular day-to-day life, I'm insecure, sad, and a little lonely, right? When I'm drinking a little bit, I'm like, I might have a shot. We're

when you're drinking you're like i'm the almighty i'm the greatest looking and everyone's my friend it's like polar opposites and so i saw this girl and she was so beautiful like literally she deserves everything she wants in life and if you see this i know you won't because of this story but i love you and i'm sorry oh my god i was a little tipsy right yeah

But this girl, I saw her. It was like the light hit her in a perfect way. She was gorgeous. Her teeth were perfect. She had a cute dress on and she was dancing and having fun. And I was like, that's her. This is who God has put here on earth for me. I love her.

I did the eye contact thing, but I didn't have to wait an hour. It was like four minutes. I was looking at her. She looked at me. I looked at her. And on the next look back, we both looked at each other at the same time and she smiled and said, hmm, like a little like cute, like shoulder thing. And I said, oh my God, this is my time. Then I wasn't, I didn't have enough alcohol in me to where I wasn't anxious. And you know, when I'm anxious, I don't have control over

of my body. Like I start to lose feeling in feet, hands, and like I get a little vertigo. I'm a little dizzy. I'm in inception. I'm high school musical three scream when Troy is going across the lockers, right? But I had the courage to go up to her. The anxiety started to set in when I realized, hey, I am walking to this woman and I have to speak. And

And when I drink and I don't have enough water, my breath smells bad. So let's put that out there. Let's just be completely honest. I smelled like a potty in my mouth, right? Exactly, my airplane breath. It was that dry, a little swampy, a little hint of whiskey.

So I was walking to this beautiful woman and it is like the crowd parted the Red Sea for me. My God, was there cameras there? I swear to God, and the light was hitting her and she just was looking at me smiling as I was walking towards her. Now when I walk, I have to observe everything. I have to be looking left to right, up and down. I can't walk in a straight line and maintain eye contact.

But I tried to do it to fulfill this notebook rom-com love story. As I was making eye contact with her, walking towards her, I tripped. No, you did not. I didn't just trip and stumble and find my footing. My sternum was on the club floor. And I maintained eye contact with her as I was falling.

So as my chin was on the concrete, I looked up. I swear to God. She goes, oh, no. Walks the other way. I wrangle the boys. I say, night's over. We're going home. You looked like a newborn with an undeveloped neck muscle on the ground. Yeah. Looking at this picturesque, perfect woman. And it's not. I have mental ailments.

I need medicine. I do. And I'm aware of it because my anxiety brings vertigo, dizziness, and loss. It's like you're uncomfortable somewhere. So you're like, I need some. The worst part of that, bro. Okay.

Several takeaways. One, was her voice deep? The way you said it made it sound like she had very broad shoulders. But I don't, I'm not assuming. I love a woman with broad shoulders. I do too. I want to grab them. That's what I'm, what's up buddy? I'm like, what's up Brock Lesnar? I'm kidding. That is not a joke of broad shoulders. I love broad shoulders. I do too. But I'm saying, did she have a deep voice? No. Okay, so it's just the way you said it. Oh no,

nah okay but she said oh nah yeah but it wasn't like attitude she goes oh nah like it was more fear and like embarrassment because like oh nah everybody knew i was coming for her apparently the whole the movie production crew everyone split split cassandra's the vocal point here we go okay first one okay not a deep voice second one what were you wearing and this does matter i think this i was in my crop top so is there a possibility yeah she saw

Some lower back hair. Oh. Oh my God, yeah. But I was wearing different underwear. And with these pants, I can wear looser underwear that don't completely fit my waist. And so when I bend over and you have the right angle, you can see my crack. You have loose underwear? I have loose drawers because I think they're hand-me-downs from Preston. And Preston wears a 15 wide. So put your assumption together of what those drawers look like. Okay. Preston's got an ass on them. Yeah. Preston? Preston's got a...

I mean, have you seen one of those guys pee? Okay, my bad. Well, cut it. Oh, mute it. I don't care. What am I supposed to do? Everybody knew what I was talking about. It was just like that. Imagine his panties were loose and you could see the crack. It's exactly like that. Well, y'all knew what I was talking about, so we're all going to hell. There's no way you just said that.

I cannot wait until we get to the point of not giving a shit or something like that. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. No, Preston could have been. Preston could have been a middle linebacker. Preston threw on a wig and a bandana with a good back drop. He could have been like. Oh, no, that's crazy. Get him out. Get him out.

Okay, that's obvious. No, I'm saying I said that. I thought this whole bit was getting cleared. That's why I said that. No, that's what I'm saying. I'm just muting. No, it's not. You can't get rid of your shit and leave mine. This whole shit was dead. I only had one funny. All right, we're back. We're back. Okay. Sorry. We got a little carried away. My ears are ringing. Preston, we love you. I am dripping with. I found out. I'll tell you right here. He's your schmooze.

I swear to God, my mom told me. Oh, my God, my mom told me that. Preston and my mom know what I'm talking about. Okay. As a baby, he came out glowing. I'm saying...

He could. No, he's not. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm saying, I don't know what's going to happen with this episode. I'm saying, I think it's, I wasn't laughing at that for y'all watching. I'm laughing at like, what made you tell me that? And when did you find out? On the following. Last week. Because I was saying, Ruby has it. And then my mom was, she goes, well, Ruby doesn't, but your brother does. That's exactly what happened. He did. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. He did. We came out with it. Is it gone? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a cure? Bro, it's not like serious. It's not like deadly. Oh, okay. The You Should Know Podcast. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. I love a great deal as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. I'll tell you that. It has to be easy. No hoops. No BS. I don't like hoops or BS. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with the

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$15 a month at mintmobile.com slash YSK. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Now on to the rest of the episode. All right, we're back. Good Lord. Just nothing. Keep going. I'm sorry. We got to get back on track. No, I was thinking about what we were talking about. Okay. So we're back.

Did you or did you not watch college football week one? I did. Okay. Did you see Texas A&M introduction? Power came back. Power came back. The huge thing. Kyle Field went ballistic all over my feed. Everything. And honestly, watching it, it was fire as hell. Yeah. Oh, hey, come on. Oh, oh.

Okay, so that's a fantastic intro, right? It's fantastic. But it immediately made me think, what was your worst sports intro of all time? Do you have any story about an intro, like you coming out of the tunnel, something happened, did you trip, did you snap a leg, did you look at a girl that was cute and then you ran into the ref? Do you have any story of that nature? Two. I have two as well. Okay, first one, Pop Warner football. We're kids and they brought out the paper thing that you run through as a team. Okay.

They put the little stupid small in the front. Sorry, CJ. That doesn't play. And like, God, the kid is just on the team because his dad signed him up at the front. Sorry, I can't control my thoughts. They put him at the front. He was like, and he wasn't strong enough to break through the thing. So he ran and hit the paper, fell back. And now we're like in front of everybody falling on each other. I got cleat marks on my calf.

That was the first one. Okay, here's my first one. Did you ever have teammates... Jesus Christ, by the way. So y'all dominoed in front of everyone. And then the coach... I thought you said he was small. No, but he felt like we're all going forward and then somebody... Yeah, and then somebody hits a thing and goes back and you just get knocked off your feet. What paper y'all used in Pflugerville? This kid had...

Okay, stop, stop. My first one. Did you ever have teammates that listened to AirPods, Beats, headphones during warm-ups? No, we weren't allowed to. Okay, that's what I thought too, right? All my team, okay, majority of my team, I'll say, they're all headphones. This is before AirPod era. So there was like wired or Beats, okay? Everyone's always vibing.

So one weekend I finally said, well, I got Skullcandies. I said, let me try it out. iPod in the pocket, like tucked in the waistband because you didn't have pockets. Skullcandies on. Game ends, this is AAU. Game ends, we're like this big thing, whatever. So I think we're running out. I was at the front of the line. I run out. I have my ball. I'm dribbling. Mm-hmm.

Hitting little moves. I'm thinking I'm cool. I go right-hand layup, turn around. I'm by my goddamn self. No one came out with me. And to make it worse, on the drop. Super embarrassing. What makes it worse, on the drop, on the drop of the layup, iPod disconnects, falls on the ground, screen cracks.

First time trying to be cool like my teammates. I break my iPod touch and no one's there to pick me up. The shittiest part about that is having to collect your items in front of people. Oh my God. Oh my God. I said, no, it's broken. Oh my God. I had Darren Williams on the side of my head because it was a Skullcandy NBA edition. It was so bad. Yeah, that sucks. It was so bad. What's your second one? Snot Rocket.

You and me, what is a snot? I'm a wet nose, wet mouth kind of guy. But you snot rocketed when? So, you know, and it was high school varsity year, right? Or senior year, varsity, right? Obviously. So, you go senior year, JV2. I think it was senior night. And so it was a big introduction, right? And they had me go last because I was the only one that signed a scholarship, right? And I was like, whatever. So, I was...

It was big. News was there. Girls from other schools were there. The whole district was at this game. I don't know why, but it was sick. And I was very...

I was a high school kid and there's a lot of pretty girls and it's senior night and they're giving me a lot of attention. You got all the spotlights and God. And so what they did was, you know whenever they call the starters, everybody's sitting on the bench, right? And it's normally, there's like the little tunnel of your teammates and then you do the handshake with the last guy. But it's all right in front of you. And the stands are way on the other side of the court. This time they had all the cheerleaders take up the whole length of the court.

So I was going right in front of the bleachers, and I had to throw a t-shirt or something because it's senior night, into the crowd. And we were directly in front of the student section. All the pretty girls were right there. I'm going, Peyton Harden, whoo! And I was like, yeah, I was dabbing everybody up. I think I was a little sick. And I was nervous, too, and anxious. I've always had anxiety, so I can't control my body.

I was really trying to load this t-shirt up because I saw this group of girls and I wanted any of them. And so, and like I pushed out hard to throw it and just, like just snot down to my chin. And then they saw me and I saw them see me and they're like, and I was like,

How'd you do in the game? Can't remember. That's all I can think of. That is the only memory of that night. Yeah, I can't remember. Did you get in your lips? It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past my lips. It was past

Okay, my second one. Last one, we'll get off this. Good morning to you. This is in college. I am grown. This is my third year of college basketball. First year at Arkansas Tech. Season opener. The girls are playing in the Coliseum, in Tucker Coliseum. God bless you. Our locker room's right there. You've seen it. Great stadium. Girls are getting hype. Everyone's winning. Our girls' team was good. So I'm like, all right, bet. We're playing in like an hour. I walk in to our locker room.

I hear music on the speaker. There's some fruit laid out. I'm like, God, we're here. This is day one. I go, let's go! Immediately, I hear my coach go, shut the f*** up! He literally screamed. And I literally was so sad, bro. I just felt like an absolute idiot. Like, I literally came and I said, let's... Because, you know, when I'm loud, I'm loud. I went, let's go! Shut the f*** up! And I was just like...

what? And I go in there, I put my clothes on, come to find out,

And then, first off, he peeks his head out of his office. He goes, don't ever scream in my office again. I was like, what's the lock for you two? I was like, your door's here. I'm sorry. Go put my shoes on and shit. Warm-ups. We're getting ready to go out. He comes up and gives me a bullshit side hug. And he goes, hey, sorry, man. I was on an important call. I just came out. He goes, go get him. I was like, fuck you. I was like, I want to play. I was like, I want to play for you. Yeah.

You yelled at me during my only moment. I'm not that outspoken when it comes to things like this. I tried to be different and you absolutely shit on me. That's hilarious. It was bullshit. It's hilarious. It was so embarrassing. You know what? You said something earlier. We were talking about heat, hot, cold. You said Satan spit and I say. God bless you. I did. And I'm not trying to insult you. I promise I'm not. The internet always thinks I am. No sentence ever starting off with that is a good one. An insult might be coming. Good morning to you.

I feel you don't know good flammable things. I feel like you can't tell me if certain things are flammable or not. The only thing I didn't know that was flammable was gas. I mean... Oh, I don't know. Number one flammable... Number one fire starter. Take gas and throw it on. I mean glass. Glass, yes. I didn't know glass wasn't flammable. Glass is formed by flame. But I think...

It was a one-time mistake that went pretty viral, but I think if you question me on things, if they're flammable or not, I can do good. We're in the same headspace because I literally saw a TikTok the other day. There's a little flammable test. I'm going to shift it up a little bit. Okay. And we're going to see what you can get. Okay, let's do it. All right. Here's your official is it flammable or not quiz. Let's do it. Here we go. Cooking oil.

Yes. Correct. 100%. 100% flammable. 100% flammable. Thank you. Okay. An orange. Yes. The citrus. Yeah! Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. A mattress. Yes. The cotton. Depends on the mattress.

You didn't say waterbeds. Obviously not. But you didn't say it either. No wonder you got fired as a teacher. Here we go. Two points you, one point not you. So mattresses aren't flammable. Depends on the mattress. What does that mean? Depends on the mattress. What does that mean? There's a lot of technology. A lot of made out of silicone nowadays. Pure silicone. Silicone? I bet so are half the girls in L.A. I can light them on fire. Oh, yeah. Okay. Hand sanitizer. 100%.

Are you dumb? I'm kidding. I was about to say. You're getting too many right. It's pissing me off. Ask better questions. A little more hard ones. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Here we go. You're like, is a match flammable? Yeah, baby. You said the number one not flammable is gasoline, you dumb sack of shit. That was me misspeaking. Your ass is about to be flammable. That came off very strange. Is a fart flammable? 100%. I've seen it in a circus. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not. Wait, what? It wasn't really a circus. It was a high school party.

But you would have been confused. There is a... Oh, stop, stop. Okay, stop, stop. Many people there. Stop. There you go. There's many people there. A banana. No. Correct. Are you Fire Marshal Bill? Are these not the easiest questions of all time? The orange one was pretty hard. I don't know.

Powdered foods. What the hell is powdered food? Something that's a food that's a powder. Like what? English major? Like flour? Powder foods. Power or powder? Powdered foods! Not power! I'm not asking you about quinoa and chia seeds! Powdered foods! What's a powdered food? Is it a yes or a no? Like cinnamon? Oh, man. Food powder?

Oh man. What's a powdered food? Like powdered doughnut? Yes. No, not a powdered doughnut. Are you kidding? Pat, you said it right. Cinnamon, spices, seasoned. So it's seasoning. That's not food. Seasoning isn't food. Seasoning isn't food.

The list says powdered food. I'm talking to you now. And you need to be talking to them because I'm saying what the list says. But you yelled at me. Seasonings, spices, ingredients that are powdered. That's not food, is it? Oh my God, can you eat it? It's food. Seasoning's food? What would you classify it as if it's not food? Oh, the name of it. Seasoning. Which is a part of what? Do you ingest it? Do you eat it?

Does it enhance the flavor of a meal? Just because you eat something doesn't make it food. My God. If something, if something, you're not doing this. If something is designed to be eaten, what should we call it? That is a spice. Holy shit. So salt is food. Salt is a seasoning. That is the subcategory. Like there's meats and fruits and vegetables and grains. Food provides a sustenance.

Salt is literally sodium. That is your substance. It might not give you protein, but neither does rice. I think food, you have to be able to live off of it. What the f***? What? Who are you, Columbus? Are you the founder of this land? What are you? Okay, but when you think of food, I'm talking about entrees. See, you're doing it again. It doesn't matter what you think in your head.

in your head. Can you eat the seasonings and spices? My God. You're thinking shit in your own head. You're creating your own crap. Okay, but okay. You want to go get some... Okay, name one time anybody has ever said, you want to go get some food and we went to the salt factory. When does that happen? That's not what I'm saying. That's what you just said. You said powdered food. That's not a powdered food. It's powdered seasoning.

I'm saying seasonings, spices, those are food. Those are seasoning and spices. That's why they're different names. Oh, my God, which is food. It's food. It's edible. It's edible. It's not food. It is edible. What's the definition of food? What's the definition of food? I didn't make the name. Don't Google it. Oh, my God. See, you don't like freaking science and facts because it's going to bury you.

What's the definition of food? You're pissing me off. A course of... A course... A course. An edible thing that can... That gains sustenance and life to your body. What? What is that last part? What is that last part? Are you in a rocket ship? What is that last part? Why do you have to live off food? Do you not need food to live? Yes. Can you live off of salt and pepper? And Cajun raisin? Would you... What? Would you... Dust cluckers. Good one. Put it on some salmon. Could you...

What? Could you live off of Red Bull? Just drinking Red Bull? No. Alright, so is it not a drink? It is. Because drinks are required to live, right? So you can't do it just on that. You don't need drinks that are not required to live. Water is required to live. Drinks aren't. I am smoking his boots. Round of applause for Peyton in the car. Don't round of applause for him. He literally got the definition correct. I did. Like the actual definition. I did. Okay, yeah, now Google the definition of food and see if I got it right. Google it. Slow thumbs.

Google it. The Webster's, not the... Is seasoning food...

That's a fair Google search. No, that's not what I asked you to Google. I said Google the definition of food. Oh, but you're sadly mistaken because I wasn't doing what you said. That's not what was happening. I was Googling my own search. I used my search engine on my device for my sanity. And I said, is seasoning food question mark? I had three words with one question mark. The answer immediately changed.

The first word is yes. It says yes, comma. What website is that? Google. Oh, you Googled? What website is it? Wikipedia. Exactly. What did they say in school? Do not use Wikipedia. You make me spit. For research papers over Napoleon Bonaparte. You don't know Napoleon Bonaparte. I thought his name was dynamite. What? Napoleon Bonaparte. The little general. The angry man. I don't know.

He was an amazing conqueror for France. Conqueror. A conquistador. No, no, no, no. Me gusta el pollo de las poligas. All of these are foods. Some common seasonings include salt, pepper, and acid. You can't trust Wikipedia. This is a science podcast. You can't use that in our debates. In school, Ms. Winkler said, you cannot use Wikipedia on your essays. And Ms. Winkler was a godsent woman. And you were wrong. Spices are for flavoring, not nutritional. Exactly. So it's not food, not nutritional purposes. Thank you.

Unless they are substances still traditionally regarded as food. That's all I was saying. No one's going to ask for, hey, let me get your large salt. Let me get a number eight with only salt.

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NFL Plus Premium offer available only to new and former NFL Plus subscribers. Additional NFL Plus Premium terms at NFL.com slash terms. On to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. I feel like if I was like really high and watched you talk, I would be so scared. Terrified, yeah. Dude, when you move, you're doing this, and I felt like I was watching Shaggy. That's a joke, isn't it? No, well, I mean, it's a comedy podcast. You know that's an insecurity. That you look like Shaggy? Yeah. It is? That's one of my deepest. That's his insecurity plug? No, I'm just kidding.

You do look like Shaggy. Your uncle said a lot when I first got introduced to the family. You did look like Shaggy. But I love him. Especially you used to. With that weird beard. Your beard is weird. Your beard is weird. And I had that blue hoodie and a hell of a pooch. Huh? I had a dog. What was its name? Rilo. You had a dog named Rilo? Yeah. Where? Signal.

What Seminole? Not the year you were there, though. You didn't meet Liv's family the year I wasn't there. I'm not talking about their family anymore. I'm saying you said I looked like sh** in Seminole. Bro, you're a bad liar. You had me for a second. You're a bad liar. If you would have said as a kid, I would have been like, damn, recipes to Rilo. Hope he didn't get liver disease. No, that was Sammy. She just died of severe liver disease. I put her in a paper box, shaped it like a coffin. Okay, we were just talking about food, and I think this is a good segue. I've been really interested in space adventure.

I don't quite believe in space, what they say about it. Now we're now for one of the first times in 129 episodes. Yeah.

We might be digging the same hole. And I've been watching videos. Talk to me. There used to be a stream. I don't know if it was live or not. I might have been under the influence. But I was watching this thing of astronauts living in space. And I was like, they have to have a bad headache. Because they're just floating and they're peeing in these weird things and they're drinking water in these little balls. It's strange. And I was like, eating up there must be horrible. It would suck.

So I was like, I want to try to eat like an astronaut. So I brought some astronaut food for us. And I brought us astronaut ice cream bars. Astronaut ice cream bars. What? You want vanilla ice cream or vanilla ice cream sandwiches? Aren't they the same? They're both vanilla ice cream sandwiches. I'll take the left. Your left. My left. Vanilla ice cream astronaut sandwiches. And they're hard. Very hard. This is like a... It feels like I'm holding like a...

Like a scrub, like a Brillo pad. Yeah, and I'm very... Because I was really interested in space exploration, and I wanted to try. What even got you on that? Weed. If we're being honest. Sorry. I need it to sleep sometimes. Spooky. Okay, here we go. Are we... Yeah, you can try. Okay, so let's open it up. Oh, it's really wrapped like an ice cream sandwich. Bro, I bet this is an actual ice cream sandwich. It was free...

It was freeze-dried. I don't know what freeze-dried means, but it's like hollow. And so apparently this is actually like what they eat. My God, you gave me the broken one. Oh, did I? And so this is actually what they eat out up there in the spaceland. And it says, only one-third of spacecraft since Mars have been successful, leading some scientists to wonder if there is a... Oh, I don't want to read that bullshit. It smells good. You licked it? No, I smelled it. Oh, here we go.

Smells good. It does smell so good. It smells like Christmas. Oh my god. I'm gonna enjoy this. Now I blame you for that. And you will be struck. Come grab this real quick. Here, y'all can try. My left leg looks like... No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Oh, well, cut it then if it's cutting. Just mute it. Ow! It looks like... Go cut that one too. All right, y'all ready? He doesn't want it because my hands touch it. You little freak. You ready? Here we go.

I don't know, actually I wouldn't. I'd put it down to yes. I'd put it down to yes, NASA. I'm glad you asked. You're just freeze-dried. I'm gonna freeze-dry you in a minute. Here we go. Here, cheers. Astronaut ice cream sandwich. To weed and beyond! To astronauts. Astronaut ice cream sandwich, here we go. What the f*** is that? Why is yours so soft? I feel like this is gonna make me feel bad. Oh. That's fire.

Oh, no. Oh, that's gas. Why is mine so hard? You give me an expired one? I feel like if I get it wet, it does have like a... Oh, I'm going to shit myself. What the fuck? Mine is like a brick. Take a bite of yours. Honestly, don't even boost. Take a bite. Mine's so hard, bro. Yours was in space a little longer. Yeah. This is fire. You want the other one? Yeah, yeah. Yours is a creep. It feels like a...

I don't like that. I genuinely don't like that. I genuinely don't like that. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to be an astronaut. Oh. I like too much food, and this is... And the thing, when I got this from the store, there was only these two left. People are eating this in their homes. Yeah, that's just strange. That's freaking weird. I think CPS needs to be called more. What for? Uh, I can't say. Because I don't want people going and finding where I get my stuff. You know what I mean? But, yeah. Oh, dude. It's like a lingering taste. I genuinely don't enjoy that. Well, I...

Okay, rate it. I get... Pierce's... Do you eat at home? Yeah, it's okay. Do I need to call mom? Okay, I give it a solid 3.5. 3.5. Y'all understand... No. Y'all understand that this is literally an ice cream sandwich that was...

Yeah, I get it. It doesn't taste good. It doesn't taste good. But I'm saying, Cam, you're eating that off the... Oh! Mine's a little different. Mine's a little different. Yours is on Mars a little longer. The fact that you're eating it off the ground... Okay, my package is on the ground. Don't do that. You're not helping your case of your little raccoon activities. Is it still in you? Oh my God! Sorry, there's a lot stuck in my teeth. Okay, my rating, official rating, astronaut sandwich, freeze-dried.

Mine's hard as a brick. I'm gonna go... So am I. I like when you wear blue. It helps your eyes. And it helps me. I'm gonna have another dream. Oh my god. What do you give it a rating? I just had another piece come out of nowhere. It's like my mouth's like a slot machine. It's like opened up. It sure is. And I always hit the jackpot. Jesus. I'm gonna go six. Six out of ten.

It's bad enough to fail, but it's like two tutoring sessions away. Would you ever spend your USD on that? I would never buy that ever again. Like, okay, with that being said, four. I don't feel good. Four out of ten. No, I think...

I don't remember. I would absolutely never buy that again. Yeah, no, that was horrible. If I'm thinking, boy, you look good. There's such a big pimple on my chest. Let me see. I've never gotten a pimple chest. Let me pop it live. No, it's actually not just red. Oh. I might. No, you don't. You have good, you have, I look good? You look good. Thank you.

I think we should take our... Go have that dream. Go have that dream. On Patreon, we're going to do a pregnancy simulator. We're about to do it right now after we get done filming this. So if you want to see me with my shirt off, boys. Okay, before you... Okay, that reminded me of... Again, not to be rude, but a little cricket-esque, whatever. You know the little jokes, right? Yeah.

I have... Okay, I just have something I have to share with you. And then I have a follow-up question. The other day, I saw a... What are you looking at? You, I'm scared. Oh, no, no, no. It's just strange. There's nothing to be scared of. But...

I saw, you know those animal, like the wildlife videos? And sometimes they're often sad? Yes. It's like a bear mauling a fish or something, right? Yes, yes, I love those. So I clicked it, I watched it through, but then under, on the actual thread of tweets, it was like facts, and there was a link, so I clicked it. It took me to a website. Okay. It was strange animal facts you probably didn't know about. Ooh, I love animal facts. It makes me competitive. Did you know that penguins propose? Like for marriage? Yeah.

Male penguins often give female penguins a pebble as a proposal gift. If the female accepts, they use it to build their new nest together. So basically, penguins have their own version of will you accept this pebble. It makes me sad that penguins are more romantic than me. Yeah, they give a pebble and then the wife turns around and uses it to build the crib. That is elite. Wait, how do they know that?

I guess they document them. I'm going to let you keep going. They go... I'm going to let you keep going. You know they're very like... Penguins like kill a lot. Have you seen the inside of a penguin's mouth? Yeah, they're killers. They're absolutely killers. Okay. Wombat. What's that?

Good morning to you. It's a wombat. It's like a big ruby. A little bit of HGH. It's like a thick ruby with a bony ass. What kind of animal is it? It's like a wombat. No, I heard the name. It's not domesticated like a pooch. It's like a wild wombat. I just keep saying it. So it's not a bat? It's not a bat. I don't believe. It could be a bat though, but it is a wombat. Okay. I don't know. Someone in the comments knows what a wombat is. They poop in cubes.

Oh, that's sick. They produced cube-shaped poop. Imagine if you could shit in a perfect Rubik's Cube and you just drop it off at people. I'm not too far after too much McDonald's. Okay. So, laughing rats. Rats have been observed to laugh when tickled. Their laughter is high-pitched and can be heard by the human ear, but it's there. Oh, can't be heard by the human ear. Sorry. But it's there.

So if you're ever feeling down, just remember, there's a rodent out there giggling away. I don't believe that. See, now let me stop you real quick. Two things. One, people be lying. People be lying, right? But two, they have amazing cameras. Don't take my two. 4K cameras from distance. Two, I don't. And you said those are mice? Rats. Rats. Rats are the bigger ones. What's the difference between a mouse and a rat? Mouse? Rat. Oh, so you have a mouse. I have a rat.

No, we both have rats. You just have the kingdom of rats. No, I thought it was an indoor-outdoor situation. I'm pretty sure I read that on Twitter today. I'm pretty sure you might have read it wrong. Mouses are small. The rats are massive. New York? What if there's a big mouse? The rats that smoke the Newports on the side and ask for your change? Those are huge New York rats. But what if a mouse hit a growth spur? Like, what if there's just a big mouse? I think it's different phylum. Phylings? Kingdom phylum. No, genuinely, let's... How do you...

What if I'm being dead serious? I think mouses are capped at a certain size. No, but there's big mouses. You can have a big mouse. It's like Andre the Giant Mouse. But how do you identify that it's a rat because it's big? If there's a weight limit, what if there's a surplus in food in the mouse community and now we got big meeses running around and now we're getting confused with meeses and ratones. That's a hell of a point. Maybe it's something to do with the tail. What about the teeth?

Tethyl structure. Well, I've never done dental work on a rat before. What's a rat? Rats are huge. So there's mice, mouse, and rats. Mice are multiple mouse. Plural of mouse is mice. Plural of rat is rats. Mouse to mice, rat to rats. So there's a mouse, there's a mice. There's a mouse with a rat, rats, and mice. Okay, so what was our initial? Mouse and mice? Mouse, rat.

Small, big. Oh. Two, two. There's a different name for it. Mice, rats. What's a different rat? It's like goose and geese. No, it's two geeses. No, no. Two geeses gets you in tutoring. That's what two geeses gets you. What? Some after school tutoring. No one should ever say two geeses. Did you know the plural of mouse? I mean. Is mice. Is mice. Are you stroking out on me? Are you okay? Do you need a drink? The plural of moose is meese. I don't believe that's correct. What is it? Mooses? Mooses?

It's me, so I was an English major. Oh, you were an English major? Yeah. Let's do plurals. What's plural for cows? Cows. I think we're high. I think there's something that has something there. All right, last one. Okay, last one. Last one. So this one's about shrimp. It's about your genitalia. At least it's a king shrimp. It's small, but it's not too bad. It curls. It's like a little cash. Shrimps' hearts are located in their head. Shrimps have heads? Shrimp.

Do they have heads? It's a bit of a head scratcher, but it goes to show that in the animal kingdom, things are rarely as they seem. Are shrimp fish? Yes. We're not doing this again. Are crab fish? Yes. They're a type of fish. Type of fish. And fisher animals. Are frogs fish? Amphibians.

Now tell me what that means. Land. And water. A frog's like a Navy SEAL. It can be in the jungle, completing a mission, or it can be in the water. It's not full-blown Navy. I don't know if I agree. Not full-blown Army, but more of a Navy SEAL. I don't know if I agree too much. Well, I'm telling you fast. So SEALs are not fish.

Like otters and seals. They're not fish. I believe not, no. They have blubber, they have men. Wait, their fat doesn't... Well, blubber actually has nothing to speak on their weight. It's more of a defense, and it keeps them warm. I thought blubber was fat, because I remember, yo mama got so much blubber, I remember... How do you say that? So I was just talking about her skin tone. I remember your mama's so fat, if she wore a Tommy Hilfiger jacket, a helicopter would try to land on her back. Oh, man.

Man, I remember this kid in... Oh, my God. No. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Go ahead. No, no, no. Say it. I was going to say this kid in middle school used to make yo mama jokes at me, but he was too good at them. So when I was in college, I slept with his mom. I held on to that.

We're not keeping it? Please tell me that's not real. I don't know. You never know what I'm saying is real or not on this podcast. Okay, to save you. Oh, we're cutting it. The reaction is we're muting it. Okay, we'll mute it. We'll mute it. Just mute it. We'll mute it. We'll mute it. He goes, no, I said mute it. Well, because I didn't like the reaction. It seems like I was saying something evil. She asked me. Oh, my God. I saw her at a club, and I was like, what are you doing here? Yeah, and then she smelled like peppermint, and then I could... Never mind. Hmm.

I love a good wrinkle. Like a good crow's feet? God damn. Show me your wisdom. Oh my God. Tell me about your retirement funds. Oh my God. And they always get a sense of powder on them. You got those big panties on, don't you? Oh my God. If I feel like I could jump off a building holding your panties and be safe, I want you.

God damn it. Was I just whistling by blowing out the horn? And then they go, oh my God, you ever been to a single mom's house? They got all the snacks because their kids in the other room sleep. All the snacks and a bunch of half-read books. Oh my God. Oh, you know she wears slippers around the house. You know how many lunch boxes I've bought for somebody's kid? Your kid like Paw Patrol? Here you go, mama.

I don't know if any of this is staying. A good side table lamp. A good side table lamp make you fulfill the night in. All right, but when I knew I was going too far with the older lady thing is whenever I went into this woman's house and her furniture was wrapped in plastic. Okay, now she's... And she kept saying, we can go to the movies. And I was like, what do you mean? She was like, we had great parking everywhere we went. No, stop.

But didn't have to walk anywhere. Comedy. It's all joke. None of that happened. I'm joking. The reason I screamed a bit too loud, and I do apologize, but the reason I yelled the other night, me, Liv, and Ryan were simply watching TV. I don't know how we got on it, but we got to Urban Dictionary. And I said, oh my God, I haven't looked up names on Urban Dictionary in so long. Okay. I looked up my name and your name. I'm so nervous. I'm going to read the Urban Dictionary reads. What?

And we're going to see how accurate it is or how off they're. Okay. Who's first? You or me? I'm going to read yours. Do you want me to read yours or mine first? I don't know. Whichever one. I don't know what they are. Whichever one. I'll read mine first. Okay. So it'll get you warm and kind of understand the concept. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Urban Dictionary is a frightening place sometimes. Camerons are the best men to have in your life.

They usually have dark hair and brown eyes. Not true. Some say they hold stars in them. A Cameron is an amazing friend, but an even better lover. That's a fact. A Cameron is a gamer, a meme lover, and just an all-around Chad. Once you get a Cameron, never let them go. For they not only hold stars within their eyes, but they can give you the world as long as you love them true. Camerons are sweet, and to hear the laughter of a Cameron is like music to anyone's soul.

A Cameron is like a marshmallow. Sweet, soft, and can give toasty hugs. Okay. Okay. Okay, now. I swear to God. Okay, now I feel a little better about this because I was a little nervous. So I feel like they're good. Okay. I feel good. I like it. And it was true. You are nice and you give great hugs and you're great at sex. Okay. Right, Liv? Oh my God. Here we go. I feel good about this now. I feel good. Patent. Patent.

Paytons are typically dirtbags that think of no one but themselves. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Paytons. Paytons are super pretty, smart, and athletic, even though they don't think so themselves. I think I am all three of those. Paytons are normally shy when you first meet him, but as you get to know him, you'll realize he's incredibly funny and goofy. Some may think Paytons are annoying or awkward, but Paytons are much, much more.

They are loyal, trustworthy, and sassy as hell. Don't get a Peyton angry because his eye rolls and snappy comebacks can startle even the toughest of people. Peytons are also incredibly sexy. They're skinny but toned. I swear to God. You wrote this. I swear to God I did. Really? We read it the other night. Skinny but toned and they have subtle curves that women love.

That shit hooks like a bass. Here we go. Sorry. Here we go. They are liked by a lot of the guys, but Peyton's are oblivious to the most romantic advances that they haven't... Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Sorry. Sorry.

They are liked by many of girls, but Peyton's are oblivious to the most romantic advances, so they haven't dated many girls. They seem like goody two-shoes, but in reality, they can do bad stuff. What does that mean? I don't do bad things. Especially with someone they love or are falling for. Peyton's are also incredibly tough, despite their tall and lean appearance.

That's wrong. Is you meet a... Oh, okay. If you meet a Peyton in your lifetime, you should try to stay as close to him as possible before he's gone.

Patons are chill with a lot of things and don't get pissed off very easily. But when they do, watch your back because Patons are not afraid to get revenge. That was pretty close. I feel like both of ours were really good. Pretty close. Except for I don't do bad things. I don't know. I'm just kidding. I'll watch you eat dinner, but that's about it. The tall and lean. Yeah. The subtle curves. I got the curve. That thing, hook. Come on. Come here. It's like an umbrella. Come on now. Subtle curves. Mm-hmm.

Tone and lean. Skinny. Shy when you first meet them, but they can open up. Like a book. A lot of people love them, but they're clueless and anxious, so they miss out on a lot of romance. They're clueless. Very dumb. And you don't get mad easily, but when you do, you'll strike revenge. I don't think you've ever seen me mad. I've seen you mad. Are you nuts? You crashed out two weeks ago. You don't even know why you got mad!

Do you know who the f*** I am? I didn't say that. I know. What'd you, okay, so now, what'd you think about your Urban Dictionary reading? I thought, I thought it was good. I honestly believe in that. And I swear to God, I didn't write them. I believe in Urban Dictionary more than horoscopes now.

Because that was way more specific than a horoscope. Horoscopes would be like, you had a bad day, but tomorrow's a good one. And you were hoping to have a good one. Yeah, obviously. It's like everyone, no shit. I feel that. But that one was more, like, talk about my body. Yeah. And I have a curve. And a tall. Yeah, Olivia said it had curly hair. That's crazy. That's sick. It's strange. It's like, why is that so right, though? Yeah, I don't know, but I do like that.

That was really good. That was nice. That was really good. Except for the bad... I do bad things. I don't do bad things. I don't do bad things. That's up to the jury. You're the jury. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. All right. That was a fantastic episode. Oh, man. Round of applause. Kim...

Get us on out of here. Thank you for coming back. Episode 129. Woo! We absolutely love y'all. We hope you liked the addition of the fourth camera. If you don't do it, Cam will eat it. I promise you would. You saw him eat that ice cream sandwich. He'll throw it to the bottom of that river. I'll go scuba diving without the scuba gear and I'll start to munch on it.

You can munch on me, but I'm going to say this is ever-changing over here. Like, sometimes Liv isn't here, and sometimes Pierce isn't here, and sometimes they are here, or we'll have more people come. So just know, yeah, Malachi will be sitting there one day. He's like, yeah.

But that's always changing, so you've got to come back every episode to see who we're going to have behind the camera, and then we're going to figure a way to get CJ's ugly ass in there. Oh, here we go. So, yes, make sure you leave in the comments. Tell us if you like it. Tell us if you want it to stay so we can know. But episode 129, as Peyton said in the intro, go follow and support and be on everything.

everything that is twitch discord patreon facebook instagrams youtube spotify apple pocket all of it because they all get different tidbits and you already know the koala club members y'all always gonna get them first but episode 139 confuse the casuals get your good karma with this week's code p4k payton right for kids

King. Payton for King? Absolutely not. Play for Keeps, your shirt. Why do you keep saying that? You said that one in the intro too. Because it's sick. I like it. But this isn't even a part of the episode. Play for Keeps is the code. All right, Play for Keeps. We're about to do a pregnancy test simulator on Patreon, so go join Patreon right now. Let's get to a million subscribers by the end of the year. We have a special announcement coming for you. We're going to watch a movie together. Here we go. Remember, one out of ten qualifiers don't make it on to Christmas, and we will see you

Next time. Hello? Bye. Hello?

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