I DATED HIS WIFE! -You Should Know Podcast-
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Get up to 40% off select online bath plus free delivery at The Home Depot. Subject to availability, see homedepot.com slash delivery for details. The You Should Know Podcast. The Podcast episode 89. I need a big one. Round of applause, please.

Woo! Hey everybody, welcome back to the You Should Know Podcast, episode 89. Thank you so much for coming back to the most wonderful place on earth, and that's the You Should Know Podcast. If you're new here, if you're not already subscribed, but is it pressed?

You're wrong. If you look even more below that and you see that comment section is fulfilled with your name, guess what? Even more wrong. Go ahead and fill that out. I have big news for you. No, I don't. You already know what I'm about to say. There's an energy in the room that is almost tangible. I think that means feelable. LA, we're coming this Thursday for the live show.

LA, it is the week of the live show. We are so excited to put on a great show for you guys. And we have an after party immediately following the live show. The after parties, if you've ever been, you know it's a good time. It's very interactive. A lot of drinks, a lot of fun, a lot of hugs and kisses. Not a lot of kisses. I just said that to hopefully sell it a little more. I promise you no one's getting kissed. Hello. Guys, we are so excited to

for this live show Thursday in LA.

Bring your mom, bring your dad, bring your pappy to the after party. We can't wait to meet all you guys. It's going to be a fantastic show. And guess what? We have two more live shows confirmed. Book, city, venue. We know where we're going, and that will be announced very soon. Be sure to follow me on Instagram at PSHA, Cam on Instagram at CamKennedy22, and at You Should Know Podcast if you want to know first. But if you actually want to know before the first people, if you want to know first,

Only close friends and family knows. You go and join that Patreon. That link will be in the description below. The RSVP and the ticket link for LA After Party is in the description below. We love you so much. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got co-host Cam back in the studio. Hey, I'm

No, that's what I'd say. You didn't get much love. It's all right. I love you, though, and I like your sweatpants and your face and your heart. My sweatpants and my face and my heart like you, too. Yeah, but can you explain why you sound like a lawnmower that's trying to rev up a little bit? All right, if y'all can't tell, my voice is finally returning somewhat. I've been sick this past week, but...

We're here. You already know that. So bear with me if I hit a little during the episode. That means that Peyton's going to talk a lot this episode. And if you hate me, click off. You know what I mean? No, you're a good man. But, okay, so I'll... You're a good lover. Good... Excuse me? Partner.

You like my neck kisses? No, I don't. I like to... You know my favorite part about you is when we snuggle? Okay, you should never be... Like, your lips became a little butthole. Like, you got so happy. You went like this. You said, you know my favorite? And you're like, don't ever do that again. Liv said she thinks your voice... My wife just thinks this voice is sexy, which means my real voice is...

I've been sick for a week. She thinks you talk like this and like you're normal. Hey, babe. Hey, love. Thanks. Hey, sweetie. This is annoying, though. Everybody that knows, leave in the comments. When you lose your voice.

When you lose your voice, it is the most annoying shit ever. Because, like, you're fine, but you sound like a great dame. So I'll talk a little bit about this. So we've been sick, right? So we've been moving. The weather in Texas, it went from, like, 96 degrees to 32 in a matter of, like, 48 hours. I immediately got sick. But I'm a good sick. I'm not a good sick. This time, but...

But I got Cam sick, so we got sick at the same time. Cam is just soft as shit. I'm soft as shit? Yes, listen to your voice. That's my voice. That's just my... Goddamn. It's not making a good case. I get sick once every three years. And you know this. We got... So when I get sick, I go down for the count. Tenth of...

10 count. Down. We got sick at the same time. Me, made of steel. I was like, I'm over it. Cool. I'm good. You look... I have my voices bad. No, you're literally made of steel. Like, your insides are like aluminum. You're so...

The virus was in your body. It was like, oh, this isn't a good host. We need to get out of here. This isn't a good body. It's going to kill us. So it came to me and it sabotaged me. That's why you got lucky. I took my sickness and your sickness. Your shit was in there like, ah, where's some good organs? Oh, that's rotten flesh. Oh, let's look at this tube. Oh, that's black. Like you're in. Oh, God.

No. You are disgusting. It didn't, imagine being so gross. A virus doesn't want your body. It was like, it was like this body has about two weeks left. They're like, oh, this isn't, this isn't a long-term play. Like, let's find a better system. Hey, what about this good looking one next? Oh shit. No, honestly, no, but the thing is with you, I think big, I think sickness is a big mental game.

I think you can. No, you're not. Obviously not. Bro, you came to the house and you're like, I'm not good, bro. Because I was ill. You sounded fine. You sound good now. And it'll come back. You just ruined it with the cough. Don't cough anymore. Don't cough on that microphone. Don't cough. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Please don't. Please don't. Clemen, send it.

Put it on a t-shirt. We're selling Cam t-shirts at the live show. No, so, and we've been around each other. So that's how I think I got used to it because we're moving. We both moved, right? I got a new house. Cam got his new apartment with his lovely wife and his dog, Ruby. And we helped each other move. Now, I think...

I think I'm going, if the podcast doesn't work right, I think I'm going to start a moving company. Because I am the catalyst of your moving. I'm the reason you have put together an apartment right now. Absolutely.

You're sure the reason we have a put-together party? You might be the reason I have a dent in my door frame, but you are not the reason that I have four walls up and everything put in the right place. You are far from it. I had an English teacher that was 94, and she sounded just like you.

They let a 90-year-old teach kids? I was like 11 at the time, so anybody over the age of 60 was 90, you know what I mean? Oh, she wasn't actually 90. Yeah, I didn't have her birth certificate. I was about to say, what the fuck? Why are you still working? You can barely breathe on your own. It's like that RSS check isn't coming in. What's it called? That's not, that's like RSS feed. RSV feed. RSV feed.

No. RSVP to the fountain in LA for our live show after party. Hey-oh. What's it called? The statement checks. They give the IRS. No, that's what you pay. SSN. Social Security number. No, mine's 145-346-241. Yes, it is. Take it. You're Peyton now. I'm keeping that in. I swear to God, that's my... Anyway. You're not keeping that. Social Security. Social Security.

Celebrate good times. Come on. Do you think you have good... Oh, do you think... Do you think, honestly, honestly, on a scale from 1 to 10, how good of a... Where am I?

Do you think you're a better mover than me? Because we both helped each other move. Without a doubt, 100 million percent. No, you're not. You are a sly bastard. Why'd you call me? Why'd you call me and say, Payton? Because I needed some arms. You said, Payton, this isn't going to move without you. I said that. You said this ship is going to sink if you don't come aboard. This ship's already Napoleon. No. I said, hey, asshole, I know you're not doing anything better. Can you come help? That's what I said. No, so. And I said, I'll return the favor next weekend. And you didn't.

You didn't help me move. More things in your house are put up due to me than you in your own house. Or is it because I hired movers? You were like, you were like, Kim's a millionaire. So whatever. So, so instead of.

So instead of Cam calling movers and helping the economy and helping people's jobs, he said, let me put my family and my friends through hell. Trials and tribulations. And he had us. I'll have to do that again. Exactly. And so as soon as I got there, Cam said, all the heavy stuff, Peyton, I can't do it.

I have bad news. I am stronger than you. No, you're not. Obviously not. I am stronger than you. Oh, obviously not because my tonsils are shredded. You have tonsils still? Yeah, I never got them. Oh my God. What if you have tonsillitis? That's what this is. Don't scare me, dude. Oh my, no, that's going to be hell on earth. If you have tonsillitis, that's when I got my surgery when I almost died. Don't scare me. If he gets tonsillitis, we'll announce it on the podcast and then go to indeed.com and you'll see a thing that says you should know podcast. You should know podcast.

You're like the most insignificant mover. Alright, alright, then never ask me to help you get- That's not how that works. I moved everything. Everything. Who mounted your TV? You helped in it. Okay, so TV wouldn't be up. You wouldn't have entertainment. Two, who put together your bed that you sleep on with your wife? Who put together- You helped me do it. So you wouldn't have a bed. So we could go faster. So you wouldn't have a bed. It takes an Allen wrench. Who- Who-

I did something else. No, you didn't. You did two things. Okay, what did you do for my apartment? Everything. What? I put your clothes up in your damn closet. I broke down boxes. Oh, you broke down cardboard. I mounted your TV. No, you didn't. I placed your couch. I connected your couch. The piece that connects. Yes. I unboxed boxes for you. I grabbed boxes for you. Okay, so just like that. I switched TVs. Just like that. We can already say Cam opened and closed boxes.

And took things out and placed them about okay. What sounds heavier? What's it up? I set up your coffee station I took your your 3,000 pound couch up three flights of stairs by myself. You literally did not touch the couch By yours What that stands you that's the thing about you I edit these podcasts right and I'm watching do it and I'm doing human experience I have a word from College of Sociology

I did. I did. I was great at the human brain. You're good at English too. I was great at English. Sorry you weren't. Sorry, mathematician. I could add and subtract percentages. I know the circumference of a snow cone. Tell me how that's helping you regular day life. Buddy, tell that to take away your virus. Google that. Hello. Good morning. This is what I've learned.

Cam is in love with me. He loves my body. Cam is enamored by my structure. Half the things that you say to me are about my buddy, my, not my buddy, my body, my legs, my back and my hair. You love it. You love when I dance. Yes, you do. You love when I dance. You said it earlier. I heard you. You said do the thing with your legs. You said you like how I load up when I dance.

This is a compelling case. This is compelling so far. But one of the things that I will give you credit for is I got a new TV. I wouldn't have known about this TV, and Cam committed fraud to get me this TV. I don't have a Sam's membership. Oh, yeah. We got it from Sam's. We got the TV from Sam's, and Cam had his 85-inch TV, and I said, how can I be better than him? And so I got an 86-inch.

Literally. And I got the same sound system. And I... And your wires are through the wall. Did you fix that wire situation? No, not yet. We're doing it tomorrow. One of the things I love to do in my free time is watch movies.

It's all I do is sit down on the couch alone. You're on a different... You've been watching straight White House down, Chopper Gunner, Lone Survivor. You sound like your name's Margaret right now. You've been watching straight up...

insurgent movies take down the killer bad guy that's the thing I love watching like war movies there's something about it especially if it's based on a true story but I've been having a good two months with war movies but now I love watching thriller hostage movies

I feel like I would be fantastic in a hostage situation. You in a hostage situation? I would be fantastic in a hostage situation. You would be arguably the worst hostage ever. No, no. The worst. No, that's the thing about me. I may be a little off, but when it comes to my life, I know how to pounce.

and dead like honestly you don't believe that i would be good in a hostage situation no god no your voice is so sick i know you'd be horrible okay put me in a circumstance right now you put me i can put you in any hostage situation right now put me in any hostage situation i promise you i can get out of it okay shut up okay this is the phone i'm calling you is my phone on vibrate ring ring hey this is payton i'd already be like yeah kill him

Just off that answer. Straight off the ring. You don't like my name? Ring, ring. Ring, ring. That's the worst phone ever. Unknown number. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. I don't know if I want to answer that. He didn't pick up.

Okay, I forgot. Doesn't love you that much. Okay, but say you have like a, you call on like whoever you have hostages on the phone so I can know who to pick up. That's not how it works, jackass. Don't answer spam. You gotta answer it. Okay. You're the worst. No, this doesn't, I was gonna say. Okay, let's assume you didn't answer. I don't harm your loved ones. Okay, okay. You give me a second. I'm gonna do not disturb. Same number, same number, D&D. Guys, I'm late. Here we go.

Ring ring, ring ring. Oh wow. Spam again. Ring ring. I'm answering. Maybe it's the federal government. Ring ring, ring ring. Oh, hello. Hey, this is Payton. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. You have two hours. To do what? I have your sister. I don't have a sister. I don't have one of those. Wait. I have your girlfriend. I don't have one. I've never had one of those. I'm so alone, sir. I think you have the wrong number.

I think you have the wrong number. God, dude, you're pissing me off. Wait, sister, I had a girlfriend. You're over two, man. Alright, do you have a mom? Yeah. Okay, I have your mom. You have so many people. I have your mom. Are your parents still together? Yeah. I have your dad, too. Why? I have your mom and dad. Where? Here. Who's here? Their hands are bound, bags over their head. They have two hours to survive if you don't give me the money.

Did they deserve it? God damn it, kid. Wait. Did they deserve it? This is your mom and dad. Do you love them? Do you want them to survive? Okay. Can I hear them? No. You're not allowed to. Can I get a picture so I know? I'm not snapping an image and sending it. Damn it. Do you love your mom and dad or no? I'm telling you. If I supposed to believe you, I don't have your contacts saved. Okay. Hey.

You're really pissing me off, man. I'm not trying to. Hey, if you ask one more stupid question, one of them's got to go. Can we FaceTime? You got two hours. What'd you just ask me? I don't like slitting. You want to FaceTime an assailant? I don't like sending money. You want to FaceTime an assailant? I'm not quite sure who you are. Can I call my mom? Listen up, bucko. Okay, sorry. If you say one more word, if you say anything, one of them dies right now.

Two hours. Send the money. Check your email. That's where it's going. You got that? Do you want me to speak? You said my section. That's it. The worst. No, you're a bad hostile. There's no rules to being the hostile. I have what you want, and I need your money. I think if you're holding somebody for a hostage, I think you have to give clear instructions. You're all over the place. All right, switch it. Say you're just a bound in a hostage. You're in a wooden chair. I kind of like this.

You got blindfolds? Nobody in their existence. You're wiggling your foot. You should... I just... I've been so... You literally look like you're waiting at a doctor's office. You're like this. And then you have this action. I just like that I'm wanted. Let's say you're in a wooden chair, right? Your hands are bound behind you. And your feet... It's uncomfortable for my shoulders. Your feet... Tender soldier syndrome. Tender soldier syndrome. Your feet are bound at the bottom. Dark room. I get tired. I'm on a lunch break. I leave. Wait...

Are you working? Why do you have lunch breaks? Is this your job? I'm watching over you, keeping guard. Okay. I'm watching over you, keeping guard. Are we talking? Dude, see, you would piss them off so much. You'd be so damn annoying. They'd just kill you. They would literally not listen to their boss and just kill you.

There's like a pay structure? Are they like, are they an escort? You're pissing me off. You're starting to annoy me. You asked me to put you in a scenario. I'm trying my best. You're bound. Sir, my panties are inside of my ass crack right now. Can I pull them out? You happen to smell French baguettes. Honestly. Okay, honestly, how much do you think my life is worth in a hostage situation? Uh, 80 grand. Then what does that make you?

Oh, shit. I'm kidding. I mean, there's never... That wasn't a serious question. Oh, I was about to say, there's never a true price tag. It's just really what they want. Oh, no, yeah. Like, they find someone that's important or of high stature. Oh, that would make me feel good then. And then they take a loved one, so it wouldn't be you. They would think I'm important. No, it wouldn't be you. They would think... That's not how hostage stuff works. I've seen the movies. Like, if I want your money, I don't take you. I take your mom. But I'm important.

Not if you're the hostage. Nine times out of ten. Like, if I want Obama's money, I don't know if I should say this. My FBI agent's like, wait, watch it. We got to send the chopper. If I want Mark Cuban's money, I like him too. Damn it. If I want, uh, um, I like LeBron, uh,

Why is this so hard to think? If I want Morgan Freeman, I like Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman, sure. Like, it doesn't matter. Of course you take Morgan. All the other ones were cool, but Morgan, he'll settle on him. Be careful. If I want Brad Pitt's money, I take Brad Pitt's daughter. You don't take Brad Pitt. It's a little girl. You shouldn't take her. Bro, do you get my point?

Do you get the point I'm making? No, I think... You wouldn't be important if you're the hostage. Nine times out of ten. I don't like how you're saying people aren't important. I think everybody has a very important role on this earth. All right, Gandhi, I'm trying to go with this scenario. What are you saying? My rib structure? No, I'm just... Didn't Gandhi light himself on fire? Gandhi wore flip-flops, I think. I think that's all I remember. Gucci. No. Is this offensive? It might be. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Me neither. But...

It's not a comfortable shoe to get around in. I used to love wearing flip-flops. The flip-flops that go like between here. There's so much like dust. It's like a LeBron. It's a fucking smoke screen. I love wearing flip-flops. Your feet are disgusting. Your toenails. We can't do this. No, I'm saying like... No, no, no, no. The top of your big toe looks like a pop.

don't touch it um oh it's smooth feel it don't do that thing oh my god no i've been i haven't worn you know what's sick about me i've been good with doing socks right i used to have a thing i had a thing in high school where like my whole junior and senior year i never wore socks i just wanted to be more with the earth i realized that was gross but so i've been wearing socks every day since

I don't know what it is the past couple of days when I helped you move in and then I was moving myself in. I did not wear socks. Yeah, it's weird shit, especially when you know you're going to be sweaty. Yeah, I didn't smell too bad in our move-in. Bad play, bad move. Please put that back on. The You Should Know Podcast.

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and use our code YSK at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code YSK at liquidiv.com. Now on to the rest of the episode. Bro, you think I'm the worst at everything. You're not everything, but 8 out of 10. Bro, I think I am the epitome of what a human should be. No, you're not. No.

Don't start that. Cam, I don't want to keep doing this with you. Rewind. You did not just say epitome. Epitome. That's the thing. That's high diction. That's high level diction. That's college. I don't care if you think. First off, you didn't finish it. But I don't care if you think you were good at English. I was. I have a certificate.

From who? Ronald McDonald. Community college. Community college. Still college. Yeah. I have three from that. Anyway. Yeah. My name's Cam. I couldn't get out. So I stayed for six years. I got three degrees in five years. Oh. Everywhere. Oh my God. Yeah. Anyway.

I don't give a damn how it's spelt or what you think being a wizard... Epitome. Being a wizard in English means epitome. Yes, that's the slang version. Epitome. You're saying that epitome is not a word. Not a word. Epitome. Then why can I say it? I can say gabagoo.

That's not a word. That's a great point. Yeah, you stupid bastard. So no one's ever said, you've never been in a room with high level people? Probably not. I can tell by how you operate in life. Because I'm an idiot? Yep. Okay. Big brain, not a lot of, so much space. It's like an attic with nothing, no Christmas lights up there.

You're like a... Just a dusty old ritual set. You're like whenever... Your brain is like when you go to tour an apartment and it's unfurnished. That's what your brain is. It's just the floor plan. You get to see the floor plan. I have floor plan brain. You have the floor plan of a penthouse suite. No furniture. I got one chair and it's like rocking. You sit on it and it breaks. It sounds like this.

The wood's broken. Hey, back to it. Epitome isn't a word. Jackass. Epitome is a word. Throat boy. See what happens whenever you talk a lot and nonsense comes out? God starts to take away the vocal cords. Epitome is a word. Epitome. Honestly? You are an epitome of a dumbass. You are. It is a... And I hate

- You know what? I'm so tired of hearing your voice. - Oh my God, I'm tired of speaking it. - We're gonna bring your wife on. - The You Should Know Podcast. - Santa baby! The reason for a fresh cut is finally here! With our sponsor of today's show, Manscaped. The leaders in below the waist grooming have just launched their fifth generation performance package to help you avoid another silent night in the bedroom this year. Ooh, I can attest to that, hello. Take care of your special snowflake

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And free shipping with the code PSH at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com. And use code PSH. Say ho-ho to a well-groomed mistletoe with Manscaped. Now on to the rest of the episode. The You Should Know Podcast. We got Mama Liv back on! Mama!

Where my Mama Liv fans at. You got Mama Liv on the podcast because Cam sounds like, you ever been around a horse that has a fever? Yeah. A horse that has a fever. What was that noise? I can't do that. All the audio listeners are in their car. All the audio listeners are in their car. They're like, what the fuck? They're like, sorry. Cam, honestly, what animal would you describe Cam to look like?

What he looks like right now? Ruby. I see it. Why'd you look at me like that? He looks like Ruby. He looks like Ruby. It's okay, babe. You do look like... My mom said that recently. But the secondary thing, I would say a horse. Like a small stallion. Don't you ever say you said a small stallion. Oh, shit. We're all dying. Good morning. All right. So we brought beautiful, amazing Mama Liv on because...

I'm coming for your job, Cam. I'm coming for your job. Yeah. This is her tryout to see if she's going to take the co-host. What do y'all think? At the end of this episode, let me know. And a CTA. To direct the camera to open palm to make it inviting. Is Cam a worse sick than me? No, Cameron's very dramatic. He's so dramatic. Like you are sick. No, he is sick. He is sick. I have to give it to him. He is sick.

but he waits till like the, he's on his deathbed to like, I need to go to the doctor. I need medicine. It's like my body do its natural remedies. Be proactive. He's like, yeah, it is what it is. I'm like, take some damn medicine. Chill out. Take medicine. Quit playing cod. I'm an over the counter goblin. Oh, over the counter can get the job done. Exactly. But this time it's just, I think you just need to get honey, swallow a spoonful of honey and drink some tea and you'll be good. We're doing that on the way home. He's obsessed with honey. But that's,

Yeah, when you're sick. Yes. Yeah, you gotta go. All right, Winnie the Pooh, put down the honey and relax. I gave Cam- Like you didn't get amoxicillin. Amoxicillin just not real enough. The criminal cop killing a pop, is it a feeling or not? Is it a miracle or just a product of pop? Y'all are gonna get copyrighted. Now if I did that? If you did it, it'd be like this. Wait, Cam, we were moving in. Tell them how I farted. You did a fart like this.

Oh, God, no. When I fake pull my pants down, imagine he actually pulled his down, but the frontal was not exposed, but bare ass was.

Pants pulled down. Pants pulled down, both hands up, squat and a fart. We're probably not weird because I'm not this, but y'all are probably the most grimiest podcast there is. Like grime, like grimy. Honestly, this is what I've learned about Cam. He is nasty as me, but he does a better job pretending. Oh no, he's nasty. Have you seen his ears today? Them bitches is dirty. T.

I'm sick. No. And. Oh, okay. So. I'm about to excavate, my dear. My dear. Pull it out and show camera. Show camera. Oh, my God. It's on your shoulder.

Cam, you're a nasty goblin. Okay, honestly, this is the thing about Cam, too. He picks his nose all the time. I know. Yes, you do. It's literally been the last, like, two weeks because it's a... Get a damn tissue! My left side, I had a pimple. You always blame it on the pimple, dog. You're digging for gold. It's not a pimple. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it is not.

Honestly, shut up. You don't want to hear your voice. I'm digging to stay alive. Cam, you do that all the time. It's literally only been like the last two weeks. It's because it's finally getting cold. This side has been crusted and I have one of those scab things that bleed. Stop, bro. You saw the bloody napkin. No, that was you.

You saw the bloody napkin. You know I don't like that. Dude, we were eating lunch and he was just sitting there holding up his bloody ass napkin. I'm like, can you put that away? I don't know if you know what that is. I don't know if it's like a scab or something, but it's like... No one cares. It constantly annoys you, but you have to pick it. I don't get those. I get them, bro. And I bet if you go to the passenger side of my car, it's boogfest on that right side. No, I don't do that. But no, Cam's nasty as hell. He's disgusting. No, I'm not. You're gross, man. Your blood, your knee, your...

Blood you need what I want the nose doesn't bleed so you have it better off than me Yeah, dr. Seuss in the rhyme book all right go cam. All right what I was trying to say is because my voice is shit I know y'all don't like hearing it. It's annoying y'all. It's annoying me. They both think it's hot, but for whatever reason it's pissing me off So I'm just gonna ask them questions and let them answer some of these crazy trying to give camel logic in the car He didn't like it

This guy's Winnie the Pooh everything has honey flavored cough syrup natural honey processed honey I am like Winnie the Pooh What the fuck were you about to do? What the fuck was that? I am like Winnie the Pooh because I love going around the house in a big hoodie like this You cannot do that on the internet now if I did that like took my shit off I would be cancelled When I did that it was like I unfolded laundry out of my crack

Cam, what were you saying? You're going to ask me some questions? You sit a weird way. This is why I don't come on this podcast. To have that many internal wedgies. No, it's because I don't know how to dry my clothes yet. Why is there like a dust cloud around me? Like, I keep seeing shit. You just tooted. I did. You just tooted. Cam's toots smell like tar and like blueberries. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. All right, first question. What song right now...

Would you describe as your theme music? Animal I've Become. Sad, lonely, no friends. Sad song alone, lonely, no friends. Depressed. Is that a tune? Yeah. What chart is that on? Spotify. Top 90. That's not a thing. It's about a little dirt.

So, Little Dirk made a song. Sad, lonely, alone, no friends, depressed. That is a... Are you saying... Are you writing poetry?

Are you okay? That's like slam open water. Like a haiku. I'm not going to lie, Cam. I blame you for that. Because last episode you did expose her. And I was getting hateful DMs talking about, oh, that's what you get for being lonely. You eat your boogers. I wouldn't be your friend because you eat your boogers. Lonely, lonely, lonely. If you're not going to DM my wife something nice, don't DM her at all. Yeah, we stay ten toes down for Mama Liv. You say something about me.

I'll yell. That's about as much as I can do. It's okay. I can handle my own. Cam, do you want a lodging? What flavor is it? Honey? I honestly will take one. I kind of need it more than you. What did Cam? Yeah, but Cam's worse. It's like a hierarchy. You do need that, though. But my song is Animal I Become because I got dry skin syndrome, you know what I mean? Don't f***ing wink at me. Quit that. Quit winking at me and shit. He's been winking at me this whole episode. And he'll do it. He'll do it when you're not paying attention. Them weak-ass punches.

No, there is like a rumor. Did y'all see those comments? The people were saying I'm flirting with Liv and I like Liv. No, I don't. What's crazy though, he'll do it. Why behind the camera too? While y'all record. No, it's not a Liv thing though. It's just like... It's not a Liv thing. It's just whenever... It's not a Liv thing. It's whenever I'm trying to get somebody on my side. You know what I mean?

Don't do it to her, though. She's awful. No, but my song is Animal I Become because... Such a strange creation. On my body, right here... Don't do that. On my body, I get like... He just f***ing winked again. Stop. While his shirt was up. Stop winking. I'm obviously not flirting with... That's a crazy flirt. If I'm doing this and scales are falling off my side... Scales? No, so listen, right? So whenever I...

So whenever I shower, right, this part of me. You look like Jesus. Thank you. Whenever this part of me, it gets dry sockets. Like, right? It gets real dry. And I can go like this. Peyton, I can see your ribs. You need to eat more, my friend. That's not good. I don't think I've ever seen my ribs before. I look like one of those arms of the angel dogs. It's like 25 cents. You can help, Peyton. You're going to hell.

Is that wrong to say? That's so funny. No. Okay. So I got a new shower, right? In my new house. I cannot take him seriously. I'm demonstrating something. Listen. So in my new house, my water gets hot.

In my old apartment, it got real cold real fast. I had about two and a half minutes of hot water in my shower. But this one, I was showering for like 45 minutes, hot the whole time. But then I got out, and this whole side is scaly, and this is already a sensitive area for me. And if I go like this enough, I can get a small collection. Like Cameron's dandruff in his hair. Dude, you do have dandruff. It's on his shoulder pads, for sure. You do have bad dandruff. Because he used that damn Pantene. No, it's because I'm sick.

What does sick have to do with dandruff in your hair? It's because when you're sick, you don't take the best quality care of yourself. He didn't brush his teeth today. Yes, I did. I go weeks without brushing my teeth. Oh, that's true. We did agree on that. George Washington Carver. Oh, my God. There's turds in his pants. There is turds in that man's pants. Oh, Peyton. Don't stick your arm down there. Why is your hand...

I cut it up. It was your finger when it came out, brown dog. Oh, my God. This is gross. Oh, my God. This is gross. No. Next question. No, no. There's something I was going to say. Cam had lice.

Bro, I've never had lice. Yes, you did. Whenever Cam, so Cam, whenever Cam, whenever Liv went to. What? I've had lice before. She's had lice before. That's possible, Liv. No, well, it's not with us colored people. But I say the night at a friend's house, she was on the other side of the spectrum. Not spectrum. She was on the other side of, she was white. It's okay. Yeah, she was a Caucasian woman. There's nothing like that.

We love those. We put a lot of product in our hair, but I used her brush. Stayed the night at her house. Went home the next day. My mom was like, you have lice. She couldn't get it out with little treatments. She chopped that shit off. Wait, what? I had a Halle Berry haircut. Wait, you had a bald fade? Yeah, like a straight two. They was like... Wait, you went to school with a dewey on? Imagine living with a wave cap. No.

It was like cute curls. It was low-key cute. Oh, my God. She had a gross. Like a fade. She had like a mixed mom haircut. No, it was shorter than a mixed mom. Like straight up like it was just imagine just curls. Kind of like yours, Peyton. Literally like your haircut. No, it was detangled. My mom would not let me leave the house like that. But yeah, I had lice. You tried to spit and hit yourself in the ball. And I couldn't go to school for like a week. Oh, my God. Speaking of that.

When I had, I'm about to expose myself. This is like one of the cringiest things I wanted and I wanted a lot. So whenever I was, I had long hair. You remember I had long hair, right? Yes. I pulled it back in a ponytail. I always wanted, thank God my mom didn't let me do it. Shout out to you, Nita. I wanted to pull my hair back in a ponytail and shave all around and just leave the top.

You would look like a murderer. You would look like an absolute Viking. But the thing was, so when it was down, you couldn't tell because it would cover it. But then when I put it up, surprise, party's here. I had a friend that actually shaved half of her head. Yep. It was pretty cool. Like right here? No, no. The trend was called a shave side. She was like this and then be like, side. Yep. Literally, it was a thing. And yeah, just right here on the side. Wait, do I know her? Yeah, you know her.

We say the name like this. Oh, she was a good friend. Yeah, good friend. Yeah. Wait, she shaved her head? Yes, and she would put, like, her little initials in her head. Wait, she dyed it too? Because I remember that was, like, a vibe in 2013. I don't know if she dyed it, but she definitely... How do you know? Yeah, you weren't...

So wait, what happens at the Kennedy house? So you're showing pictures of like people. That was not my phone. We have not been friends for 10 plus years. Not in your. 10 plus years, that's a long time. Not in your camera roll. It was on your phone. Like on Facebook or something. Kim, what are you saying? I'm hurting. Ask the next question. Ask the next question. What's the most embarrassing thing your parents have ever done? Shit. God. The first thing that pops to my mind is thinking about my dad shitting.

My dad's public shits. What do you mean public shits? Because he has no, like, couth. You know what I mean? Like, you know, some people are like... Good word.

I got a shit, but it's a bad one, so I can't do it out here. My dad's that type of dude. He's like, I'm about to go to this bathroom right here inside of this PacSun, and everybody's going to smell it. That's fucking gross. My dad will shit in a mall, and everybody within three stores smells it, and he'll be like, that's my work in there. Like, that's him. He says that when he walks out? He doesn't care. And he cropped us like crazy. He'd be like, I killed the bread aisle.

You know what I mean? My mom crop dusts. She's a crop duster. She does that shit at Marshalls. And you know them tiny ass things at Marshalls or TJ Maxx. Like if you're scooting down the aisle, like you know who farted on the aisle. And she's like, oh. I'm like, oh. I can't imagine like, can you imagine like a supermodel like pooping?

They poop. I really can't imagine it. I can't. Like in a stinker too. Do they have someone that wipes their ass for them too? No. No, I'm saying like at home, they're like, nah, you're not one of those. You got to bend and like push on your gut like that. Yes. I'm nervous to share my embarrassing moment because I don't know if it's allowed on this podcast. With your mom? Yes. Because she does a lot of embarrassing things. But this, this specifically has to do with the person sitting next to me. And it's just, it's just very embarrassing. It was like one of our very first dates. Wait, what?

If you can't say it, we'll cut it out. But say it. I want to hear it. So we went to Chili's after church on a Sunday. And we were just sitting at the table. I don't even know how this conversation came about. But my mom is very blunt. Doesn't have a filter. Love you, Mom. But she just flat out said, Cameron, I bet you love Olivia's big old brown boobies.

Bro, at Chili's? Like, who says that? On a Sunday after church? Who says that? After church? Arnita would never. Lisa would never. Would never. But, oh, Lolly. She would. Wait, have you met her before this? Yes, but this was like the first sit down. Like, my family was there. Like, Mimi, Aunt Carrie, Morgan. And she said that to announce the table? What did you say? I was putting a predicament. I was like, if I say no, I'm disrespecting the girl.

But if I say yes, because I do like them. You like them, yeah. I do enjoy them. If I say yes, am I disrespecting the family by answering? So what'd you say? I didn't give any verbal argument. And like fresh. Like we were still like young. Like we're not like, we weren't adults. Like we were still like college. Like we were probably still at Seminole at the time. So super embarrassing, but...

Whatever, Mom. Shout out you, Lolly. Lolly's amazing. She's the best. But she does embarrass me half the time when we're out in public. But it is what it is. Now that I'm thinking about it, one of the... I mean, it's not embarrassing that my parents have done it. Hey, shut up, voice. It's embarrassing that I didn't. It just reminded me... Very embarrassing, I'm about to say this. But as a kid, and I still am, I was very protective of my mom. Yeah, as you should be. And so I remember as a kid...

We lived around a bunch of construction workers. I don't know why. There was just construction workers always in the vicinity. And they're always at gas stations. And so we'd go to, exactly. We went to a gas station. Oh, I'm sorry. No, that's fine. They're just on their breaks. That's where they go to get their breaks. But we had the same schedule as them. So anytime we went to a gas station, there would be a load of construction workers in there. Because there's a lot of people at the gas station.

I thought you were saying because the construction workers in there. No, I'm saying when there's a lot of people, there's typically only one person working the cash register. Okay. You're trying to go put 20 on gas. There's 10 people. I'm just making sure you clarify for the people. Okay. So there was, we would always be on the same schedule. And I remember the construction workers would always check my mom out and like, look at her ass in front of me. And for some reason I felt as my 10 year old self or eight years old to defend it, I could protect her.

And so I remember this one dude was like, wasn't even trying to hide it. He was like looking at it and I got mad. And so he walked away, not like that. So he walked away and this is so cringy. I remember I, he turned away. I followed him. I put my eyes ass level to him. So I was bent down looking at his ass and I was going, do that one more time.

Followed him through the store. You were following a grown man. You think he was scared of you, baby? I would have kicked his little long-haired Troy Polamalu tail wearing ass out the grocery store. I don't know what it was. Did you ever share that with your dad? Nah, he would have been like, what are you doing? Yeah, no, it was embarrassing. Bro, next question. You're a sicko. You got ass level to a grown man. Which fast food chain has the worst french fries?

My answer is I think it's an obvious one. In-N-Out. In-N-Out. Oh, that is definitely UPS boxes shredded up. That shit is gross. That shit is like cardboard. Disgusting. The burgers are fire. The burgers are fired In-N-Out. And they don't make combos. Yes, they do. They make combos. Yeah, they do. You're going to fry anything. They don't make it a la carte. They're what? What?

What did you say? A la carte. That's whenever it's separated, like you have to buy the burger separately than the fries and the drink. How do you spell that? I say a la carte. How do you say it? A la carte. How do you say it? Oh, shit. A la carte. A la carte. What? A la carte. I'm the wrong one. I say a la carte. Like all. A la carte. No. Are y'all dumb? Like you get all the carte. How do you say? Okay, that's not the reason. No, because it's a la carte. A-L-A. What does A-L-A stand for? It's not an acronym. A lot of food.

It's a la carte because A-L-L. What does A-L-L spell? A la carte. It's A-L-A, I think. A la carte. But you're just changing the A at the beginning is what? A. Because if it was two L's, you're making an A. A. A la carte. A la carte. A. A.

Okay, say all. Say all. So how are you beginning that? All. A-L-L. No, no. Are you dumb or stupid, dumbass? It's not because of that. You're just simply changing the way you say A. Because that's how English language works. The following letters determine the first letter. No. I've taught first grade. And you know that. You don't know your letter sounds. Okay. How do you say A-L-L? How do you say it? Yeah, A-L-L. What does that spell? Like all. All.

There's a double L. The double L makes the A say ah. Okay. Oh, damn. He's right there. Okay. Thank you. Guess who teach first grade? Guess it's me because appetizer, right? I don't teach that shit no more, obviously. No, it's a la carte. Whatever. A la carte, a la carte, all the damn food, all that shit. Yeah, the fact you thought it was an acronym, she said, what does it stand for? All the food. Bro, is it really a la carte? It's a la carte. A la carte. It's like the same thing as epitome.

What the f*** is epitome? Epitome. An epitome. Epitome. You're the epitome. An epitome. An epitome is like you're just a nothing. What was that? What? You're an a nothing. You're an epitome. You're a nothing. Epitome is like an example. Like the top, the peak of something. When people say you're an epitome. Like you're a nothing. No one says you're an epitome. Yeah, they do. I've been called that. You're an epitome. No, you're the epitome of something. That's how the word works. Use it in a sentence for me.

I'm the epitome of a good guy. But you don't say epitome. You're nothing of a good guy. You're the epitome of a good guy. You're like the peak, the example. Like you're the hierarchy. Okay, you're an epitome. You're an epitome. No, you're not. You can't be an epitome, Liv. Whatever. I'm not good at English, not good at math. Just school. Yeah, drop out. Don't do that. I agree. Don't do that. What? Why are your socks or why are your shoes off?

I get more comfortable. Something just flew off of your freaking sock. Every time you move, there's dust, debris, particles. It's like I'm in a constant smoke cloud of dust. That's freaking disgusting. And y'all's carpet's dirty as hell. Y'all probably got roaches up in here. Look at my side compared to his side. Why are you digging in your pants? What are you doing? I'll give you $7,000 right now if you smell my fingers. I'm not going to lie. Something just got caught in my finger now. That's freaking gross. Oh, my God. That's gross. Flip's like, please.

No, I can't. No. Get that away from me. Fifteen if you like it. No. Cameron, we need the money. Next question. You need to get us off that quick. The money? We need the money. No, shut up. No, that's not a millionaire. I'm going to be barking by you. Which smells worse? Earring backs or belly button legs? Jesus Christ. Y'all reach out. Belly button hair. Did you just hear what I just heard? What did you just ask me? Never eat your belly button hair. Do you ever eat your belly button hair?

Belly button hair. You ever eat it? Like take a little nibble of it. You're not asking me that. Yes, I am. No one does. I am asking you that. Who asked that? Me. Did you hear the question? He said, do you like belly buttons or ears? That's nowhere near the question. So I said, do you ever eat your belly button hair? You have belly button hair? Yes.

She does. It's cute. My husband won't pay for laser hair removal. It's cute. Wait, Liv, no one asked that. No one does that. No one's eating shit. How does that happen? You'd have to get a straight razor, put it on a plate, fork and knife. I don't do it either. I was just making sure y'all didn't.

I'm just making sure y'all don't eat y'all's belly button hair. We're all on the same page. Great. Move on. Next question. Why did that just pop up in your brain? Hey, do y'all shoot yourself? Do you hit yourself with hammers at night? Oh, no, I don't either. I was just making sure. Like, what are you doing? I was just making sure. It's like y'all don't talk to yourself. Yeah, what possessed you to ask that? Because I wanted to say it. I was just making sure y'all don't eat your belly button hair. Okay, what was your question? Because I don't.

I'm glad we're on the same page. What was your question? What? What was your question? The question was, what smells worse, earring backs or belly button lint? I don't get belly. My belly button doesn't smell bad because I have an Audi. You do not have an Audi. Yes, I do. No, you don't. I've seen your belly button. I have seen your belly button. That is an innie. That's literally an innie. You got hella belly button hair. That's literally an innie. It must have shrunk in or something because it was Audi last time I looked at it. It did not.

Belly buns don't shrink. You were born with an Audi or an Innie. No, that thing was out last time I seen it. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. What happened? Maybe you just lost some weight and you thought it was your belly bun. There's not much weight to lose. No, I had one. I swear to God. What? Honestly,

If you have an Audi, if you have an Audi, those are pretty cute. I used to have a thing for, okay. That's pretty, they're pretty cute. I swear to God, I had an Audi at one point. No, you've never had an Audi. Yes, I remember going like that. Strum that, John. I would strum it like this, like a small guitar key.

I'm telling you, it's probably just some fat. No, Liv, I'm telling you. There's so many things wrong. I could storage small dimes in here. I bet that shit smell like ass. There's so many things wrong with both of what y'all are saying.

No, you don't just have a little cyst of fat, right? And it just disappears. And you've never had it. I did. I think it's the angles and the lighting because I swear to God. People have extra skin on their belly buttons all the time. What? People are born with extra skin on their belly buttons all the time. When did you go to belly button school? It's like a test.

Like a little tag. Oh, there was a girl in fifth grade. Our summer trip, we went to a community pool across the street and I had a crush on her all year. And then I remember she was in her swimsuit and she had an Audi and it was like protruding. It was like a small nub out there and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Did you tell her? No, I was scared.

You were just like this. Y'all could have had cute little Audi belly button babies. I swear to God I had one. Because I remember there was a point because my brother would always pick out belly button and it's his and I was like, I want that.

And then I was like, I can't because there was blockades. There was a dam right there. It was blocking the water. That's disgusting. But now... No, you really said it must have shrunk. How does that work? It's like a little knot in there. Yeah, no, I don't like it. Do they tie it like a... It's kind of uncomfortable. How are those made? If you stare at your belly button, it's kind of uncomfortable. I don't like it. There's like little X's on it. It looks like a starfish. And they smell horrid.

They smell disgusting. Wait, Cam, smell my belly button. I'm not smelling my belly button. Do it. It might clear up your sinuses. I'm not smelling your belly button. I'm not smelling your belly button. How do you smell my husband's belly button? I've smelled your belly button. You have a cute belly button. Let me see. Because the bottom of your... Because when you sit down right under it, it looks like a peach snap. A what? A peach snap. A what? A what?

A snaffle bottle? What are you talking about? I have scars on mine because I had a belly button ring. A belly button piercing. Sometimes when Cam sits down shirtless, I want to grab his belly like a three-year-old and go... I do that at home. So you have smelled it. I don't smell it. But Cam's body hair makes me uncomfortable. He does have weird... Oh, my God.

He does have weird body hair. Because his hair on his head is like a tan and a red and an orange, but his chest hair is like black. No, but okay. And I noticed about Cam the other day too. So Cam used to only have areola hair, right? Yeah. It looked like little eyeballs on a furry creature. It looked like the little lashes people would put on slug bugs.

But then Cam FaceTimed me the other day and he showed me his body because that makes me happy and feel good on the inside. Quit winking at me. I'm about to throw my shoe at you. And it all connected. It's like a chest piece now. Bro, I'm not. This is the point. If I can't, my eyes will go dry.

All right, enough of those. Enough of those questions. I've heard some unbelievable answers already. So, but honestly, now that I have y'all here together and I can just sit back on the outside. All right, sick voice. I got two more questions for y'all and they're going to be two little riddles because y'all suck. I hate it, bro. Okay. But I feel like I got somebody in the same brain capacity as me. That's true. Two negatives make a positive. That's true. I don't like how you point upward like that. Our hands are so cute and small. All right, first one. Oh, that was it.

Yeah, they're crazy. She's flirting now. First one. A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters went to a baseball game together, and they each bought a ticket. How many tickets did they buy in total? Wait, two grandmothers, two grandfathers? A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters. You're going way too fast. Slow down. A grandmother, two mothers, and two daughters. Five tickets. Wrong. You have six fingers holding up. Liv, are you nuts? What?

One, two, three. You're doing a weird ass five. Yeah, that's why I look like six. You're doing a two hand five. I've never seen a two hand five in my life. Two grandmothers. Two grandmothers. One grandmother. A grandmother, two mothers, two daughters. Five tickets. Five. It is five. It's wrong. Wait, slow down. Grandmother, two. Oh, grandmother, a mother, two daughters, and a niece. Fucking sick. They all had to buy a ticket. Okay. How many tickets did they buy? Five. Six tickets. Six tickets.

Five tickets, grandmother, two mothers, daughter, four! They had to buy a ticket for the parking. Four, four, four, four. It didn't say nothing about no damn parking. Yo, you gotta park. It didn't tell us how much the tickets were, so that's annoying. Wait, what? What is the price? Because they didn't say how much the tickets were. Because one of them said, hell no, I'm going back to the car, this shit too expensive. Liv's just making up stories.

You are doing the most. Okay. You want me to take the answer? No, no, no, no. Help. Give a hint. Slow down. A grandmother. Okay. Two mothers. That's three people. And two daughters. Two mothers. That's where you're getting me. Two mothers. Two mothers and two daughters went to a gang. Are they divorced? Three. Ha ha!

Wait, what? Because a mother, two daughters, that's... Oh, because a grandma's a mom, too? She has to be. Yes! But that's not fair. I don't know the family tree. How am I supposed to know that's her mother? You didn't give that information. Yeah. You don't have to know the lineage. Did I? If someone is a grandmother, that means they're a mother. I'm proud of myself. No?

Oh, I guess so. Yeah. Oh. Your mom has a mom. Your mom has a mom. Then her mom has a mom. Grandmother. Two mothers. The grandma and now the mother. And two daughters. I hate you speaking. The daughter of the mother and the daughter of the grandmother. Any of y'all suck. Okay, next one. Here we go. Next riddle. That's unbelievable. She asked for the ticket price and you said parking.

Next one eggs are 12 cents a dozen now here. We go some math shit eggs are 12 cents a dozen How many eggs can you get for a dollar wait hold on just no one's no one say a day 12 cents No, okay a carton is 12 cents a dozen is 12 mm-hmm How much you get for a dollar how many 12s going to a dollar 12 divided by a dollar? How much is a dollar sitting since hundred cents? Oh?

No, 25. 25 cents. Does anybody's ears itch? So wait, a dollar? Yes. Divided by 12 dollars. No, divided by 12 cents. I mean, that was just a mixed speaking. 12 cents. 12 cents. Divided by a dollar. 8.33. 3, 3, 3, 3. Wrong. Okay, say the question again. Yeah. But in layman's terms. Now you're confusing. We're on the same team. Yeah, we're on the same team. Eggs are 12 cents a dozen.

Okay. Wait, but when you say that, each egg is 12 cents? A dozen is 12. Eggs are 12 cents. So when you get a cart and you check it out, it's 12 cents. 12 cents. Okay. Market is great on eggs, wherever this is. How many eggs can you get for a dollar? That's some cheap ass eggs. Not how many carts. What? Not how many carts. How many eggs? 12, 24, 36. Okay, we'll count by 12s.

42. 42. No, that's never. That's a great guess. 36, 42. 48. Oh, 12. But 12 doesn't go into an even dollar. That is true. It's odd. Okay, so how many eggs can you get? Am I Bill Nye, bro? I don't know. That's making my stomach hurt. 12 times. Wait, so I got to. This is where I have the problem.

12 we might have to get that whiteboard we might have so 12 get the whiteboard for me all right so this is i got the whiteboard now thanks so so we got so look okay that's a 12 that's a sick two six 12 cents yep equals one dollar 12 one card 12 eggs it equals 12 eggs yes oh so look now i'm lost

Read it one more time. I'm going to walk you through it. You got the board. And then you got the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. 12 cents equals eggs are 12 cents a dozen. 12 is, wait. One dollar. Yeah. That's what we're finding out. How many eggs? Oh, 100 eggs.

I did it with my brain. Yes! Because all I did was, look, 12 and 12. One. They equal each other. They equal each other. They equal each other. Every time. Anybody can't tell that shit. We're smart. Every time. We might take a while to get there, but we get it. I was expecting like a... There you go. I told you I was good at English. Go to school, kids. No way. I'm from the Calvary.

Y'all's explanation for that was they equal each other. Yeah. They do. They equal each other out. Yeah. Hey, it doesn't matter how you get to the end of the river, but as long as you don't drown. I had a floaty on my back. All right, Forrest Gump. It's that damn whiteboard. It's that whiteboard. And it helps when I close my eyes to think. I don't know why. Every time we're recording and I have to pee, I always have an intrusive thought to just piss right here like a Labrador intruder. Please do not do that because I will never work here again.

But I think, go ahead and open up that Discord, Cam, because I think it's time to help some relationships. And we got another secretary here. We got Secretary Mama Liv. Mama Liv. Now it's time for Cam. Hit it. The music's a little quieter. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P. Dr. P.

All right. Excuse the voice. I excuse the secretary. I'm a sick secretary. We're going to get right into it again. Randomly chosen. Here we go. Dear Dr. B. Hello. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about seven months ago. We were together for three years prior to the breakup. We simply had unreconcilable differences and there was no bad blood.

Now ever since I stopped by his house to drop off his mother's birthday gift. I've been reminded of the good old days However, it seems he got himself a new lady her breath smell like tin cans have bounced that ass But then again, I might be a hater My question is should I try to shoot my shot one more time or just drop it like a bad habit? No, can I lie? He has me in a chokehold

Hopefully not literally. Not a physical, not a half nose. All right. This is what I got to say. The hips are working. The hips are working. That means Dr. P's brain's flowing. Let's break this down into different parts, right? First part, why the hell are you giving his mother a gift? Yeah. After a breakup. After seven months after a breakup. Now, I know you've been close with the family for three years, whatever. Yeah.

You got to separate yourself. I was going to say, she wants to linger around. You're wanting to linger around. You're done. You're done. You're done. Hey, you're done. What is she? Done. You're done, right? Look, he's done because he's got him a new piece of, you know what I mean? He's got him a new little spring candy. He's got him a little honey lemon drop. A little honey lozenge. A little honey lozenge he sucks on. Not like that.

I meant like the candy. Okay, look, this is what I got to say. First of all, Dr. P, you know, if you put a submission in, you will be held accountable. And I'm holding you accountable right now. Stop going to the house. It's not appropriate anymore. Not a good look. Even if the mom prefers you over the new girl, stop. It's not a good look. Right? You can love that mom. You can love her. You can love somebody from a distance. That's like Cam. I love him from a distance. I don't like being around him too much.

But this, so this is the thing. And the new girl has 10 cans of bounce that ass. He likes that. Maybe he likes bounce that ass. He grabs that chin and snaps that bounce that ass. He's like, I like, bring me three cans of bounce that ass. That's disgusting. But honestly, can I chime in? Yeah, chime in. Honestly, that should be like a...

A compliment to you because he may be downgraded. He might have downgraded and that's where you can tell yourself to feel better. Yeah. She might be a Victoria supermodel, but she has gingivitis. That's true. She got gingivitis of the breath. I got gingivitis. It's all good. I don't know if I do. I might. You don't. Oh, we'd be able to tell you. The other day when we were in TJ Maxx, this is not Dr. P talking, this is Peyton talking. My mouth started bleeding in the store and that fan came up. So I smiled and I saw someone like this.

Bro, you gotta stop. Because it tastes like coins. That's why my mouth starts shaking like pennies. You know there's blood. Like pesos, I can't. Oh, stop, stop. But first of all, stop going to the house. Detach yourself from that family. You have a full life to live outside of them. You can still love them from a distance. Let them live their life. If it's meant to be, you'll come back together. That's all I have to say. And that was...

Dr. P, Dr. P, Dr. P, Dr. P, Dr. P. You got the outro. Okay, that was the Usual Podcast episode 89. Guys, sorry it was a little different. I'm so sorry. We were working through a sickness. A lot of other podcasts would have been like, F the fans, we're not uploading. Cam is a soldier. We don't do that here. Yeah, shout out to Mama Lip for showing up and screaming.

Guys, we love you so much. LA, we will see you in a couple days. The after party link at the if you have a live show ticket, it's completely free for you. If not, go ahead and buy your ticket right now. We love you. The next two cities will be announced soon. Cam's voice will be good for LA, so don't worry. It'll be fine. He's going to the doctor tomorrow. We're going to get him some honey.

Can I do a secret code? Do it. Yeah, you need to. Secret code is... For your karma and to confuse the casuals. To good karma and confuse the casuals. I'm so nervous. I'm tingling. Secret code is SYH. Suck your honey. No, but I like that better. So, suck your honey. Remember, guys, one out of ten koala bears don't make it home to Christmas. Oh, I... Oh, oh, oh.

They will see you next time this happens