cover of episode CRAZY POLICE ENCOUNTER -You Should Know Podcast-

CRAZY POLICE ENCOUNTER -You Should Know Podcast-

2023/6/26
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You Should Know Podcast

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The podcast opens with a discussion about phone service and discounts, followed by a humorous anecdote involving Bill Gates and a hippo.

Shownotes Transcript

Staying connected is important in today's world. Whether it's hearing the news of a new baby in the family or calling work to let your boss know you're running late, phone service keeps you connected with your world. At AT&T, we know that some Americans face life every day without the comfort and security of having phone service. In certain areas, you may be able to reduce your phone bill with a Lifeline discount if you are in a qualifying low-income household.

Additional discounts of up to $25 may be available to those living on federally recognized tribal lands where AT&T offers Lifeline. To find out more about Lifeline and other AT&T products and services, call us at 800-288-2020 or go to att.com slash lifeline if you have access to the internet.

If you put Bill Gates in a firing range with a hippo, Bill Gates wins. But he uses his opposable thumb and he turns that hippo into the hippo jerky and he wins every time. Feel my pit.

Oh no, no, I should not have done that. It was so... If you're allowed to use what we have, our brains. The You Should Know Podcast. Four days. Cast episode 66. Round of applause, please. Yep, yep.

Yup. There's a certain level of energy in the studio today because we are a mere four days away from our first headlining live show, June 30th, Dallas, Texas, Southside Music Hall. Boy, are we excited. And I have on, for the audio listeners, you can't see it, I have on the exclusive You Should Know Podcast live show shirt. I hope a lot of you wear it to the show or you wear it right now watching the podcast. You can take a little picture with me right now. You can say, Twinsies, ready? One, two, three. Twinsies. Twinsies.

Guys, also I have an update on the PM Lounge after party. So the after party is immediately following the live show at PM Lounge. There was RSVP tickets that are sold out now. You can still get the upgraded package for $50. The link will be in the description below. And with that you get to skip the line and get a free drink when you come in.

I know that a lot of you are like, oh, the RSVP tickets are still sold out, but you can still come to the after party. It's a club. Just come through. Come hang out with Colas, Cam, and I. Mama Liv, the whole You Should Know family. We're going to party, celebrate a great night. I had to get that out of the way first before y'all skipped this part, but if you're new here already, look below. You should subscribe. Button isn't pressed. You're wrong. If you look even

below that you see the comment section is it fulfilled with your name guess what even more wrong go ahead and fill that out get your good karma i want to shout out to the youtube watchers hitting that subscribe button leaving a comment every single day shout out to the spotify itunes listeners that leave those comments i've been reading them and they're hilarious the the audio listeners are low-key funny as hell i need to see in this video who's funnier make more jokes in the spotify comments or the youtube comments

Thank you to everybody that's following us on Instagram at camkennedy22, at PSHA, and at You Should Know Podcast. Shout out to the Discord and the Koala Club family. We are so excited for June 30th. The week has finally come. Let's have a great episode. Let's have a great podcast. Now on to the rest of the episode. Baseball is back, and I know everyone wants to hit a home run, but you can do

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To start it off, the Manscaped Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer is getting hyped as the Mike Trout of trimmers and after using it, my confidence level is sky high. In and out quickly to get the job done in just a few minutes. Something that Rob Manfred can't say anything about.

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I know I was a little aggressive. Oh my god. I'm bleeding. I know sorry I'd lick it off. Yeah, right on your upper lip. Would you let me lick your blood? All right, Dracula calm down, but uh, you know, I'm gonna give you props real quick What the hell was that my wrist you I said shake your hand you it what happened? I like what you did in the intro

What'd I do in the intro? Am I giving you your flowers right now? Sometime- you don't give me enough flowers. I'm not looking at you until you put your cap back on. Sorry. I'm not doing it. We already have- that's actually in a contract. Whenever you got full time. It was a contractual. That was my first thing. I said, "Oh yeah, everything sounds good." You're never allowed to take your hat off in front of me again. Leave it just like that. No, no, but I like to- You look pretty. Uncle P, don't- what are you doing? Thank you, but stop. Stop winking and touching my nose, licking my lips, talking about sucking blood. You're a freak bag, okay?

Oh my god. I like what Uncle P did in the video, in the intro. What's happening? I like what Uncle P did in the intro.

It's not necessarily gonna work the same cuz I'm not wearing the live show shirt right now I didn't want then don't do it didn't want to twin with his creep next to me. Don't do it I love you anyway, I like his little picture prop thing you did I've never thought of that the only reason I did is for the live show show Yes see but shut your mouth because I just want to do it because I'm gonna see if someone's gonna jump in front of their TV and Someone else is gonna take a picture of them so then they can post it and I'm gonna absolutely love that and repost it So here we go. I want absolutely no one to do it. Yeah, I know No one do at least four people. I don't like the 90,000 that watch this. I'm gonna go right here. Oh

Okay, you got a perfect little spot. I'm going to lean in, act like we're friends and whatnot. Don't do it. Just see how well you can fit in this spot. I'm going to give you three seconds. Here we go. He's not matching with you. Count me down right now. Ready, set, three, two, one. Take the picture. Audio listeners are like, I can't do it. All right, there we go. Audio listeners. I had to bite your style. That was sick. Audio listeners, we want to get y'all involved too. Harmonize. Ready, one, two, three. And good. Oh.

Kim, this isn't choir practice. This is not choir practice. This is not choir practice. When did you, like, do you remember your, did you cry after your last choir practice? I never, I was never in the choir. There's so many lies and stigmas about, I was never in the choir. No, I sung the one song. Knowledge is power. The more that you know.

Yeah, and that was your claim to fame. The farther you'll go. Cam and his contract also... Stop. We're going to get copyrighted. Well, it's not a real song. Oh. It was from like a 40-year-old woman that taught music when I was eight years old. Oh. I thought it was from like Schoolhouse of Rock or something. Oh, no, no. That's not the name of the movie. Miss Lisa, Cam's mom, pulled me to the side one day and said, you know Cameron cried at his last choir recital?

My mom's going to physically FaceTime you after this. She's going to watch this episode. She's going to pause it right about now and FaceTime you and go, Peyton, I never said that. I love your mom. Me and your mom, we were over at your house. Everybody was there. We were. And me and Miss Lisa, we were on her Instagram and we were just looking at pet monkeys for like 20 minutes. It was the best time ever.

She kept showing you. I love this. Bless her heart. I was like, Mom, Mom, Mom. We were trying to play blackjack. I was like, trying to play blackjack. What are you doing? I liked it. But look at this one. Okay, that's the last one. So cute, Mom. Love it. All right, so what about this one? I was like, okay, get out. One of them had a little berry basket on its back. No, having a domesticated monkey, it's probably the cutest thing ever until he turns into Caesar or Koba. That's why you just get the little one.

Can still turn into Caesar? No, it can't. Okay, it's not going to have the frame of LeBron James, but it still has the intelligence. Good, I want it to be smart. So that monkey couldn't pick up a knife and end you. No. You're nuts. That's when you be a parent. You're nuts. And you don't let the monkey get knives. If you're a parent and you fall asleep around a toddler and he bangs his head into the side of your entertainment center. Be a parent. Childproof the house. Childproof the house. That's a thing. It is the thing. But does it always work?

If you do it, yeah. Oh, it has 100% success rate. Yes. A 100% success rate. If you put nothing flammable in an area, can it catch on flames? Who's talking about flames? It's hypothetical. It's making my point. If you put nothing flammable in a room, can it catch on fire? No. If you make everything childproof in the house, can a child get hit on something that's childproof?

But that, yes. No! Yes. Okay, what childproofing is, is putting little locks on the doors and like putting the soft things on sharp corners. That's the only thing? Or can you go extra, extra, extra on childproofing? What are you putting them in a cell? What are you doing? How do you childproof? You literally just don't get products that can hurt a child in your house. Oh, so you have an empty living room. You have a, you have floor. Or soft living room. You have floor. You put soft living room. You have carpet. That's your living room. You walk in, you go, here's our carpet room. Or you don't have a coffee table. You don't have an entertainment center.

So you have to not have a room for the child. Is your child your whole life? When you have a child? Yes. Alright. So it doesn't matter what my house looks like, if my child is safe, that's what I care about. I am cooking your shit! You are literally saying you're a goblin. Stop that! Stop that. Wait, that was your hip that popped? I thought that was your foot.

That was a loud pop. I was never able to pop my hips. I really wish I could. Oh, you know why? Because it was broken? Oh, I'm going to bite him. Okay, if you could choose any part of my body to bite, which one would it be? To bite? Which part of me would you bite? Like, if you had a choice. Why is this a weekly thing with these freaky-ass questions? If I had to bite a part of your body, I was going to say calf muscle, but it's too hairy. I'll go with arm.

I'll just go with like outside of the tricep. I have a good tricep. I look you do have a good tricep for my ability. Let's see it. Don't touch me Okay, stop it honestly, okay real question still hot and okay. Don't I know I'm sweating bro. Um, let's don't work You're gonna have to bring those back Hey, you're gonna bring those back. So listen old man's wise. Um Honest question and don't like don't make this weird or like make it a joke

Already hate how this is like how this is started like objectively like in your point of view like like do you think I'm sexy? What are you asking me dude? What are you asking me who says that and why'd you use sexy you could have said it in my good-looking guy? Am I a decent fellow you went straight to like into because I'm not you went to sexy Because I'm not in questioned me because I'm not interested in those answers Okay eyes and a brain honestly I did

Do I cut that out? Do I have to edit that out? No. I'm only thinking with one of those three things. I'm only seeing with one of those three things. Stop it. But to answer your question, I'm not going to use the word sexy. Please. No, that's the answer. It's a bit overkill. It's a bit much. So sexy, no. It's a bit much. No, no, no. Not saying you're not. But I am. Oh, damn it.

I got looped right into that one. Objectively speaking, I'm a very confident man. I have a wife. I know what I am, what I like, who I'm about, what I do. No problem. From a woman's standpoint. No, I don't care about that. I'm not answering it from mine. Please. Damn. I can see you from a woman's set of eyes and you would be an attractive man. I don't care about what women think about me. You would be an attractive man. I don't care. You're light skinned with a beard. You're six foot seven. Your frame's interesting. Well, something's interesting. Yeah, my frame.

No, I don't care what women or other men think. I want to know what Cameron Michael Kennedy thinks about me. Do you think I'm sexy? What I think about you? Yeah, do you think I'm sexy? I think you're related to Count Dracula. That's what I think about you. If you want to know just me. Sexy...

I'm not saying yes, no. But you're not saying no. You're a good looking man. But you didn't say no. Good looking man. Good looking fella. I would say you're sexy as hell. I would say almost edible. Okay, like these need to stop. It's not on the whiteboard. It's like Travis Kelsey and Cam. Hey, now Travis. So you're going to say Travis Kelsey is sexy, but not me. Travis Kelsey is better looking than both of us. You know me. 100%. What does that mean? Sexiness comes with intimacy. And we've been intimate. I don't know if I believe that one.

What? People get sexier the more you know them. That I believe. You've known me more than Travis Kelsey and you're saying Travis Kelsey is sexier than me? He's better looking than both of us. I don't care. Slightly, it might be to the point of the mind. Sexiness is not all look. It might be to the point of the mind. Sexiness is not all look. Sexy I think is all look. No, sexiness, you can, like just how your aura, your vibe, how you talk, how you walk, how you handle yourself, that's sexy. See, but that's that street shit. Like sexy to me has a connotation of... Don't arrest me. No.

Sexy comes at the cuss. Stop shaking like a stripper. It's a never-ending trap. You have to stop. I'm the one saying normal shit. I forgot we were recording. Sexy to me is that right there with what you just said is not okay. Because that means now they know that you do this in everyday life 24-7. But in real life, I touch more. Do I not? Bro, you are setting up. I'm confident. I am too. Then stop being weird about it.

Alright, you're sexy. Yes! I'm kidding. I'm taking that back, you freak. You know what I do sometimes? Sexy? No, I'm not done. Sexy comes with a connotation of like, I think it's more lust, not love. No. I'm not saying like that is the right answer. I'm saying in my brain, the way my brain works, like if I were to call, first off, I'm not calling anyone sexy. I have a beautiful, see, Liv is sexy. Liv's beautiful. Liv's pretty. Liv's calm. Liv's sweet. All that. But like,

Single people or outside talking, I think if you were to call someone sexy, it's strictly off appearance. Beautiful comes with outside and inside. That's just how my mind works. Like, I would never call you, like, if a respectful person was talking to another respectful person or whatnot, and it was just like, I don't know. You see what I'm trying to say? Yeah, but I can think someone is beautiful and not think they're sexy. Exactly. Exactly.

And vice versa. I think sexy is just strictly talking about appearance. No. I wouldn't call your nurturing ability sexy. That's beautiful. I wouldn't call the fact that a man might be able to let his guard down more around you because you're his rock and you're his piece. That's not sexy. That's beauty. That's beautiful. Sexy is like, you're sexy. So you don't lust over me? You're sexy. No. For clarification, I don't lust over you. You've never... Never mind.

- What is happening? - I think too far. - Yeah, yeah. - I think too far. - Yeah, but there's still context. So they know what too far would have been and you almost said it. - It's not that bad though. - You need to stop. - Sorry. - To answer the final question, I'm gonna go no on sex. - I'm gonna have to change my shirt before we go out. - Yeah, it's pretty hot. - I couldn't do it. - It's very, very hot. - It's the only white shirt I have though. - Extremely warm. - It's not true. It's not the only white shirt you have. - Why do you think you know me?

Don't touch me, because I do know you. That is not-- that's the only white shirt you own! Are you? I'm gonna punch you in your nose if you try to tell me that literally anyone go to maybe two or three episodes back, two or three TikToks earlier, you're wearing a white shirt and it's not that one. So defend yourself now, you stupid liar. Defend yourself now.

You run on deceit. How do you feel that everything you're wearing except for your shoes is mine? This shirt is not yours. I wore it last week. So we can't own the same shirt? We don't. Yes, we do. You weren't there. You're lying again. You were not there whenever they gave me that shirt. I wasn't. All right. So how do you have it? I was there when they gave it to me. When did you go? Two days ago. Two days ago? Two days ago. No, yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday. I had my days wrong. See how liars work? Yesterday. They get tripped up. They don't know what to do. When did you go?

A couple weeks ago. Oh, like a couple weeks ago, because that's pinpoint. See how liars work? They get tripped up when they don't. Yeah. Why are you so violent? Because you're angering me. Do you have you? Was there ever a point in your life where you thought you had to take anger management? Oh, no, never. Oh, there was a point in my life. See, that's scary. You being angry as a child. Not a good look. It's because all of the testosterone was coming at one point. Puberty was a wild time. I used to get hell. Oh, that's when I was in my Biden prime.

I'm scared because you get mad now. No. Yes, you do. I get mad over very slight, like... You get mad over weird shit. This is how your brain works. I'm going to tell you about yourself. It's like a therapy episode. Yeah, let's do that.

This is how Cam works. For all the fans that want to know, and if you get close to Cam, he'll be like this with you. Cam, his brain is very weird and doesn't work right. So in his mind, when he locks in on something, he's not capable of going outside of that at first. Yeah. Yeah.

So if he has an idea of how something should go in his brain, even if it's completely wrong, but his is, it's just how, cause his brain's so fast. He can't think of other options. Yeah. So I'll be like, no, that's not how we're doing it. It's not right. He'll be like, I, I, I, I,

What the hell was that second one? So, stinky toe, big head, messed up hip, and I bite my fingers. Absolutely. And then give him 20 minutes, and then he'll be like, oh, right. Yeah, no. But I thought that too, though, dog. That's exactly it. He's like, I thought that too. No, you didn't. You know you do that shit. It pisses me off. I just caught myself doing that the other time. I think it's out of embarrassment. I know. I'm like, something prideful. No, I saw it, though. You're like, no, you didn't. It was with...

The backing up? Yes. I said, no, I saw him. He said, no, you didn't. You 100% didn't see that car. I said, no, I did. I checked. Like, I just bold-facedly. And I literally looked at you not look at it. That's the shit. And I don't think he'd get mad anymore, bro. You were just like, okay. Yeah, I was like, there's no point in arguing. His brain sucks. I have a question, though. God, we got to get into the podcast. Sorry, that was a long intro. I have a question for you. Okay. Do you ever feel like you're not here?

I actually don't know what you're saying. What does that mean? Like honestly, like honestly, I don't know what you're talking about. Asleep? No, no, no. You're awake. So like, say a mall, right? Okay. You've been there. Multiple times. And you're at the, say you're sitting down eating at the mall. I don't know why this is so specific. It's very oddly specific, but okay. I'm eating at the mall. I'm eating Sarku. Yeah. Say you're eating somewhere, right? You're sitting down and you look up and you're not there.

That has never happened to anyone ever. No, no. It's almost like an outer body experience. Outer body experience has happened. It's never happened to me in a mall. It's actually never happened to me. Ever? You ever just felt like you're not present? Nope. Like everything is just happening and you're not involved. The only time I'm not present, snoozeville. If my eyes are awake and I'm awake in the middle of the day. But the truth is you're not present in a lot of situations because your brain is like, oh, I wonder how lizards work. Is their foot this way? And be like, oh, color, color, color.

That's how you are 24/7, but honestly you're never like the world is moving without me right now No, they see that's how I know you have brain fog too, and you just don't admit it What am I not admitted? I have brain fog. Oh hell yeah You just tried to bring me into something that never happened Bring your chair back up you're that part. I'm good. You're not

What's not good? That part, that leg. Bring it this way. It's whatever. Did I not move it? See, you're pissing me off. Okay, but do you ever... What do you think happens when you close your eyes? Sleep. No, no. In regular, just like this. What do you think happens? Everything. The same exact thing that's happening. If I was soaking wet, if I closed my eyes, I'm soaking wet. No, to your eyes. I was sitting at a table. What do you think happens? They get covered. It's like a shade. See?

What? What do you mean see? Right? You're looking, right? You're still looking when you close your eyes. No. What? What's happening when you close your eyes then? Actually, I think your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Wait, no, maybe not. Oh, you turned into the Undertaker when you closed your eyes. Are you nuts, Cam? What do you mean you rolled to the back of your head? I'm saying...

- Shout out to WDB. No, I'm saying-- - Why'd you say it like, shout out to WDB. - 'Cause I didn't wanna lose my thought. You are, 'cause there's a lot of employees working up there right now and they're just not on the same page.

One's fixing a bulb, one's fixing a seat. - Hey, I thought we were working on this hammer. Working on a hammer. - On a seat right there. No, but they don't, I think that's when you sleep, they roll to the back of your head. - So right now my eyes-- - When you're in REM stage four. - Now I kinda feel 'em back there. - Maybe. - So if I, okay, so say this, right? So say when I'm closing my eyes, they roll to the back of my head, right? So if I were strong enough to keep my eyes where they're at but still open my eyelids, would I be able to see my brain? - No. - Oh. - It's complete darkness. - Behind your eyes? - Yeah. - That's where your brain's at. - It's a socket, yeah.

What do you got a light bulb in there? Just because they say, oh, you have an idea. There's no light in there. It's an enclosed capture. It's dark as hell. My body is dark. All of ours is. That's crazy. Deadass. I thought there was light in my body this whole time, like photosynthesis or something. You're special, buddy. You are. You have light. You're special. No, deadass. Like, no, but it comes from your ears and shit in your mouth. It comes from your ears. So there's something blocking my ears and my throat right now.

If I do like this, why do you think they literally have flashlights on the thing that they stick in your ear when you go to the doctor? To make it lighter. To see it. No, not talking, that's still the surface. I'm talking about like if there's a little man, right, like Ant-Man. There's not. Say like Ant-Man crawled into my throat. Oh my gosh. Well, it's Paul Rudd, so I mean. You need, you need to. So listen though, say Ant-Man crawled into my throat, right? So hot. And he were to be just living in there. Okay. Dark as hell.

But there would be beams of light. No. Yes. Where? My throat and my ears. But that's the thing though. Your throat? Like right now. It's like this. No. No. In my butt. No. If I were to go like this, right? If your butt.

If your butthole is open enough to bring in light, you have a problem. That's why I grabbed it and went like that. No. No. I do that sometimes when I poop. You need to stop, and you already admitted that. No, it's dark as hell inside your body. 100%. Why? Because there's different tubes. There's light coming in right here, right? As soon as you make a left turn, that light has now been diminished. Make another turn, all these little turns and drips and drops and everything, there's no light. I really don't know what's in my body. I really have no clue. Like, once you get past, like, the, like, diagrams, I don't know where shit goes. The diagram? Yeah.

Welcome again. Did I mess up? Again. The diaphragm. No, dumbass. I'm talking about like on a paper, the diagram of the body. I thought you were saying... I thought you were calling your diaphragm a diagram. I was about to say... Welcome back. I'm not that stupid. Well...

But you know what I mean? Like past like a day, like so you put up the picture of the body, right? Like an x-ray. Right, but it's all flat. Like that's kind of like the earth. That's not really how it is. Like obviously Russia and shit is closer. And like US isn't that big compared to other countries. Where's your pancreas? Is that what you're saying? Like you'd massively fail that. Yeah, I'm saying, but like that's flat. If you gave me a 3D body,

like you wouldn't know what where where lies lay yeah like like right now i'm just thinking like right here like right if you were to peel this off right oh you would see all my you just see like intestines and correct oh so it's right there so what's all back here in my back a lot of muscles a lot of hell yeah there is on every human ever you said a lot though on every human ever

I need to- Strong man, Eddie Hall. I really want to get sick again. Like that- What am I hearing? Like that good sick. What are you saying? You ever want to get good sick again? You are literally quoted. You just said, I want to get sick again. Yeah, but like- I've never heard that. Like a good sick. What the hell is a good sick? Like that kind of sick where like you got that extra plaque on your teeth.

You can't get out of bed, you're hot, you know what I'm saying? You can't control your rectum. Like that kind of sick. That mmm. Like you- Am I gonna make it to tomorrow? And you want that. It really builds me up. I hate when I'm- Oh my god. No. Nope. Not now. Where you fuck- You get out of bed and you smell like carcass.

You are raunchy. You smell like roadkill. You are, that is the slimiest shit you've ever said. Why though? You want to be sick. You don't be like that and you can feel like there's like four layers on there right now. Like that's another tooth on mine. The white plaque at the back, like the white dots. You want strep throat. And you can go like this and it's on your finger now. What good comes out of it? What good comes out of you being sick?

What? That's disgusting. You know what I'm talking about. And you ever go... And bring it back? Oh, no, no, no. No. You eat sick plaque? You eat your sick plaque. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, a little bit. That's the nastiest shit. You ate your boogers when you were young. No, no, no. Yeah, you did. I've never been... Boogers have always creeped me out. That's one thing. I know I'm a weird guy, but shit like that always makes me feel gross. Boogers. Yeah, it's just... I hate it. So you just have the nerve to say it. You can...

Take off plaque. It's already in my mouth. And then go for seconds. But a booger upsets you. Back to this sick shit. What do you gain out of it? I think it's that rehabilitation feeling. You know what I mean?

It's that I made it, dog. You know what I mean? Shout out to God. So you get small victories for passing a sickness. Because I don't get many victories in life. But those little ones like that really make me feel like I still belong. You're not real. You're not real. I thought you would agree with me. Because we both suck being sick. And that's why I don't want to do it. Because it sucks.

But that ending stage, right? When you're like this and you rip that sheet and you can still move, right? And you still feel, you feel everything now. You're like, I could do a sit-up right now. I can go eat. Nothing there. I can suck plaque. You know, and then you'd go, you get that first bath, right? And all that shit. You're six, seven taking baths. No, no, no. I mean like a shower. Oh, there you go. You take, you're in that first shower, right? And all that, that crust. So much movement. All that crust, all that phlegm, all that shit.

That's in that crack that's just been sitting there. Because you haven't had the energy to bathe. And you just spread cheek in the shower. And you let it run down the back of your leg. Down to your Achilles tendon. And then you watch it go down the faucet. And you're like, goodbye, sick. I can see everything you just said. And you know what I'm talking about. And then you have to bleach your tub. If you've ever been sick to the point where you're having to bleach your bathtub after bathing, then you shouldn't have been at your house. You should have been quarantined. You should have been quarantined.

You don't get that? You don't get like that? I used to appreciate being sick. There you go. But not now. It's almost like I've grown up. I can't get sick now because I have so much to do and it would really hurt the company. Yeah, so you just said I want to get sick. I don't know if I want to. I really just want that last part. You can get victories in other ways. I don't think so. I promise. Go run a mile. I might not make it out. I don't think. Go run a mile. No. Go. It's hot. Go play a game.

Go send a text, make a call. I'm not good at video games. I'll lose every time. So there's not much I can do, you understand what I'm saying? I keep going, you're just like, nah, I miss that. I suck at that. Let's see. Uh, go. Well, hell. I go, yeah, go get sick. Speaking of this sick thing, do you ever eat expired food just to see if you can take it? Not me. No. You don't? No. Why?

WHY?! Not like- I can ask it right back! Not like it's like from 2005 and it's powdered now. Okay. But like, two or three days. And you look at it, and you make good eye contact with that food. And you're like, "You son of a bitch." It's me versus you. And you eat it. Yeah, you get a little stromboli. You can just go to this- An expired stromboli. Right. Why do you have a stromboli? You put- Oh, you're telling that too? Anything that has like a pocket. Stop. It's one of those episodes, dog. We're back.

I looked up and caught the tail end of that. There was so much spit that came out of your mouth. I've been having real wet mouth syndrome. You need to stop that. Where does your saliva come from? Every time I get an exaggerated amount of saliva, it's always the back. Right here. I think that's the glands. And it goes... It's like... Takes that little river. Takes that little... No, my... Sorry. No, my mouth's like a sprinkler, like in the back.

I did not realize it I'm keeping all this. I'm just muting it. Oh my god. No, but it's like a smaller sprinkler It's like a little like an award It's like a surprise party just happen like somebody's walked in surprise back of your jaw It shoots spit up to like your reps like put your finger my mouth leak on me. We're done No, I can't I can't glee put your finger in the back of my mouth. I'm not fingering your mouth Just touch the pouch

Like there's like a little pouch right here. No, no. It's not happening. Sit in your seat. Sit sad in the corner. Go hug a wall. I feel like I could find someone better than you. No. That loves me more. Oh no. Not better at your job because you're great at your job. I have dying love for you. You're telling me to finger your mouth. I feel like so many people would finger my mouth. To touch your butt sweat. Yeah. It started off with the back of the knee. And I did that for you. You never did that. I have touched the back of your knee. No you...

You are a liar. No, I'm wearing pants. It's not wet. I'll go up. Feel my pit. I'll go up your pants. Feel my pit. Feel my pit. Honestly, deadass. Please, for them. It's our live show week. Like, you see the shit that excites him? Oh my, oh my god. It's like dreaded. It's locked up, bro. Your armpit hair is locked up. There's two huge ones. Come on. Loyalty test. Loyalty test. Please. I'm gonna hit you with some sick shit one day. Finger my pit. Don't say it like that. Just say touch it. Touch my pit.

Go up though. I'm not no. You can't go down. You're not gonna tell me the route of my touching. You're not gonna make me run a route. Bro, it looks like a science experiment. It's like small like... Holy shit, you have a lot of armpit hair. You never raise your armpits up. Oh my god. Come on, come on. Oh no, no. I should not have done that. It was so wet. Smell it. No, hell no. My nose is bleeding. You're not... Are you like...

I can't believe you did that. You're nasty, bro. Don't do that to me. You begged for it. You begged for it. No, that was disgusting. I have to watch this hand. I was having an argument with somebody the other day, right? That shit doesn't surprise me. They're like, dog, calm down. We're just in a bakery. You're like, small talk scares me. Great call, man. Yeah, thank you for thinking about me. But they were trying to... You're alright. Do you need water or head in the freezer? No, I'm just thinking about my finger. That's all it is.

If you made me lick, it'd have to be some serious cash behind me licking this finger right now. No. No. No. Why'd I even say that? Come on, how much? You know I like it much. I'll give you all my meals. I can't. No, I don't. Hell no! I don't want food. I can cook my own. But you don't have to. By the way, he gave me seven meals the other day. All of them expired. Every single one of them. But, okay, anyway, sorry. I was having this argument with somebody the other day.

And they were trying to tell me that the fire department and the police department all work together. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. You're one of them? Yes. How ignorant can one be? You tell me. What do you think they are? Different. Well, no shit, but they are all under the same entity. What's the entity? The city of Dallas. Oh, okay, so the construction worker is going to pull me over too. The construction...

No. Okay. There's a police department. Right. A fire department. Homicide department. Traffic department. Yeah. Different, right? They all work for Dallas. City of Dallas. Camp. Who shows up when you get in a car wreck?

Both of them! Both of them! Oh! I have never got a speeding ticket from a fire department before. They've never chased me down with a big ass water hose and said, stop, pull over to the right lane. Stop. Stop. That's not their duty. That's not their duty. Exactly, because they're different. Okay, an accountant works for said company. A marketer works for the said company. They all work for a company. They all do different things. That's not the same.

Exact same! Exact same! No it's not! Exact same! No it's not! No it's not! No it's not! Say it again! The firefighters of Dallas. Dallas Fire and Rescue. Right. Dallas Police Department. Okay, I pay taxes to this city. Does that mean I'm a part of the city council? What? We all put money up! What is happening? So the mayor, right? Yeah. The mayor works for the police department too? No. Exactly.

You didn't say, you didn't say, the guy said, whoever I was arguing with said the fire department works for the police. You said they work together, which is true. Right. They work together. They don't work for one of the other. They are on the same team. They wear the same jersey. They're both wearing purple. No, they don't wear the same jersey. They actually don't. One of them has big boots and a big jumpsuit with a cool ass helmet and goes, there's a cat in that tree. And brings it down. The police department's like, freeze.

How do they run? Freeze! They work for the same team. They don't wear the same jersey. They're so different. But they work for the same team. They're so different. Their checks, City of Dallas.

So are construction workers. Okay. Are they part of the same team? They might be. You're so stupid. Cam. I don't know on the construction workers. You alright? Yes, that actually hurt me. I think I did something in that process. I don't know on the construction workers. Fire department and police department, they're on the same team. 100%. Cam, do firefighters get donuts?

Probably no they don't what the hell does that even matter because matter what they eat okay when you think that's a social stigma I'm asking coffee. Oh 1099 II Roger. We're gonna go pull them over. Oh, so does the fire department get that same thing on their on their walkies No, that's almost like they're not the same thing It's almost like the person in charge of marketing doesn't get the accounting stats because they're different different job same

- Same corporation! - Do they all work in the same building? - Can you comprehend that? - Do they still work in the same building? - Do people work in the same building that work for the same place now? - Yes! - No! - Cam, do they still work in the same office? The accountants and the marketers? Yes or no, just answer. - It all depends on the company. - Answer yes or no. - That's not a yes or no. - Objectively, objectively, objectively. - That's not. - Objectively. - 'Cause some work in the same building, some don't. - Yes they do, Cam. - No they don't. - They all report to the same boss, right?

Yes, and they can work from different locations. Fire department and police department don't go to the same boss. I've never been pulled over by a firefighter. You're never gonna be. Because they're different. Thank you. I've never got a parking ticket from a guy with a fire hose not once, Cam. And you're never going to. Because they're different. Thank you. Good doing bits with you, you big ass head. So every, oh my God, every Amazon employee works at the warehouse? No, because they-

Oh, that's weird. It's almost the same. Some people pack shelves, some drive the little aerodynamic van. And where do they go at the end of the day? And some do customer service behind their desk in the glory and privacy of their own house. Yet they all get checks from Bezos. They all get paid from Jeff. Exactly. They're all getting paid from the city of Dallas.

Police officers, firefighters are both first responders. Both work for the city of Dallas. They are different departments. They can have different buildings. They can have different streets. - So do street cleaners. They all get their stuff from the city of Dallas. - Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. - Am I right or wrong? Do street cleaners, the people that go every morning and they water down the streets.

Right? And they pick up trash. Yeah. Where do they get their checks from? What does it say on it? Probably city of Dallas. So are they going to pull me over too and say, Hey, your, your registration expired. Can you comprehend the word duties and responsibilities? But you're the dumb ass saying it all comes from the same check on the name of the check in the same check. Jeff Bezos. You said that. That's that is equivalent to you saying the custodian of

The lunch lady and the teacher don't work for the same place. That is literally what you're saying. They do completely different- The custodian's never gonna teach you how to do a math equation, the teacher's never gonna give you lunch, and the lunch lady is never gonna clean your classroom after hours. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this

Every custodian in the nation lost their job and none of them got paid! School custodians, no. Oh my god, oh my god. What school did they clean? Oh my god. What about HR people? Huh? Let's do that Bubba, since we went to school. What about the HR people? He jumps when he gets caught doing wrong. What about the HR people? What about them? They're never inside the school, but they work for the district.

Dallas ISD. There's that big ass building by the Dave and Busters, and then there's the 40 high schools. They all get paid the same. Shut up. They all get paid the same. Because where do they work? Where does HR work? In that big ass building, right? Yeah. Exactly. So it's not the same building. So what are you saying?

They all work for the same boss. They're in the same building. No, they all work for Dallas. There's so many of the same jobs. No, they don't. So a Dallas teacher and a Dallas ISD hiring agent don't work for Dallas ISD. They both don't get paid by Dallas ISD. I can see you quivering. I can see you quivering. A Dallas teacher, a Dallas math high school teacher, and a Dallas ISD recruiting agent don't get paid.

- You're physically crying. Game, set, match, checkmate. I'm sweaty, but it was worth it. You bastard. You need to shut your damn mouth and listen. - I'll call you whenever a teacher pulls me over. You stupid idiot. - What? That's Dallas ISD. You are like caught up on duties. I don't know what that emotion was. You're caught up on duties. People can work for the same job and do different things. Period. Period.

101, ladies and gentlemen. No, you're wrong. I'm a firm believer of loud. That's what exactly I'm about to say. I'm a firm believer of loud. That's the only reason I stopped. I'm a firm believer of loud doesn't mean right.

I'm a firm believer. I'm loud doesn't mean right. I just I I let my anger get the best of me And that's how cuz buddy over here is 24 years of age and doesn't comprehend the word duty all right call me when a firefighter gives you a ticket Call me call me doc and then I'll say you're right now call me doc now call me whenever you get arrested by a firefighter Call me no no when you get calls by when you get when you get tased by a firefighter call me and you're right then I'll secede to your to your to your point but other than that

Hey whenever- Butter to death? What are you buttering? Whenever a Lieutenant Dan from the police department comes and puts out your house fire because you left your oven on, they don't say you're right. It's alright. No, no, it's alright. Oh my god. Hey, whenever the DARE program comes to your middle school and it's a firefighter teaching you, they don't say you're right. Other than that, continue to scream your loud wrong points. We could exit our studio, go over here for a different- Oh my god.

Okay, yeah, we had to take a short intermission we just like cam almost passed out I'm sorry screaming. I was screaming. Yeah, and so what you do, that's your thing It's you're loud when you're wrong and you're wrong a lot. What do you mean about it? You're loud, right? You got that for my thing. Why is it my thing? Because you have anger issues, bubba. No, you have anger issues. Okay, you don't have anger issues. No

You know, I've never met a human being that bites your finger doesn't have anger issues. That was when I was young. I've not done it in recent times. I haven't. You know, sometimes I just don't want to argue anymore. It's okay. I don't want to argue. I have a story. I have a story. It's because I talked to me. I was, uh, I, I, I, yeah. I was, uh, like that. Yeah. I think I gave up all my screaming powers in that last bit. But, um, so, um,

I was chased in a car by this girl I was talking to, her ex-boyfriend chased us in a car. Oh my god. Yeah, when I was 16. Oh my god. It was so scary. Some need for speed shit, hot pursuit. Actually, I think I was 15 because I didn't have a car. And so she was the getaway driver.

And you're getting chased by this, who I would assume is an older boyfriend. He's like 19. No, he, first, how old's the girl? 16. You sly dog. Come on, dog. I've been pimping. Been pimping. So what happened was, 16-year-old girlfriend drives new 15-year-old boyfriend off, gets chased by 19-year-old ex-boyfriend. Yeah. That's a disgusting story. And he was like in a Buick, too, and it had like subs in it, so I was like, He's like, You're like, go faster! I was so scared. So what happened was,

I met up with her at this football game, right? It was a high school football game. It was my first football game too. Always dangerous. Always dangerous. When you're dealing with exes at football games, God, everyone tries to pop off. I've heard stories about him that he's crazy, right? Like he's just like aggressive and mean and scary. And so I was a little boy. Mean. Who's mean. So I was a little boy and I was scared and I hadn't had many physical altercations at the point. And the ones I had, I had lost. Hell of a track record. I wasn't too confident in fighting this older gentleman.

If the time had come. The time had come. He's gonna cough my tail. Drive faster! And at this time, I didn't know what fashion was. So I had glasses at that time and I couldn't see. So I was wearing rec specs. It's like my casual eyewear.

I just got choked by my own chain. You did not. Don't. No, bro. You are lying. You were wearing Rexpecs. It was the same ones I hooped in, so the elastic band smelled bad. How did you... How were you even talking to girls? How were girls physically even speaking? I've always had gay. I've always been able to get past the ugliness. Bro, if you had on Rexpecs and denim at the same time... No, I was wearing big cargo shorts. I went to like Shins.

With the lead socks. Oh my god, you were Wiz Khalifa with Rexpex. You were like 2012, 2011 Taylor Gang Wiz Khalifa. And I was soaking wet, 84 pounds. With the tail? I was a disgusting man. This girl was beautiful though, right? I don't know how I got her. I don't either. Hell, at least we can, I don't know. She's married. We can join teams on that one. She's married now, we're good friends. Not to you. She said one round of that was a fail.

So I met up with her at this football game. I was nervous. I had my rick specs on they're fucking up. It was fall In Texas, it's very humid. I was sweaty and nervous. I had my tail So I started this football game and when I went up to go say hi to her She didn't seem happy to see me. Oh, I was like, what's wrong? She goes he's here. Oh

I immediately knew who she was talking about. Her crazy ex-boyfriend. That was me. And I go, I go, no, please no. I'm scared. Hey, you want to go? We don't need your support. Like, I had no intention on seeming masculine. And like, I could solve this. I was like, we have to go. And I go, where is he? She goes, I don't know. I lost him. Oh, that's like, now I got to check my surroundings. It's like a wolf on the loose. And you're just like, bait. And you know, I'm paranoid. I've always been paranoid. Always.

So I'm looking around, I'm looking around, she goes, oh my God, there he is. He's at the top of the bleachers, right? And he's literally just staring at us. And I was like, oh my God, she grabs my arm. She goes, we got to go.

I'm like, holy shit. Now we're in danger. We're running out of this football game. I didn't even get to enjoy one play. My heart's beating right now. My goggles. I lucky I had the goggles on so I could run. I was very aerodynamic. I didn't have to go like this with my glasses. There's no passage. So I was gone, right? I was gone. And they magnified my eyes more in the respect. Did your tail like fly in the wind? Or was it like tucked? Did it go in the wind? At that point it went into...

I took my chance. You were tucked. You were scared. Oh, my God. So we get into her car. Now, her car sucked, right? It was like, you know, your first car is supposed to suck. So this shit didn't work. I was like, babe, drive it. Drive it. Drive it. We see him, right, moving out of the football game, chasing us. Dude, this guy was an athlete, right? Football, basketball, track. He was 19 still in high school. Yeah. He probably had a superior testosterone. So he was, boom, going, going, going. He gets in his car, right? We peel off.

We're driving, right? And we get on to a freeway. Fast speeds. Right? In a shit car being chased. In a shit car. So her shit started rumbling, right? You can feel the wheels about to go like that. Like lay down. The car's about to lay down. She's driving, right? But looking through her rear view mirror. I'm like, you gotta look forward. I'll look in the rear view mirror. Hey, the road's that way. The road is that way. As soon as I turn around to look at him, he looks at me and goes like this. I'm like, oh no, he knows who I am. We've made eye contact. He has a weapon!

We go, I was like, man, we can't keep driving. He's going to catch us. You suck at driving. We have to go. We have to lose him and go into a restaurant. Awful idea. Great idea. Awful idea. Because he can't hurt me with people around. One would think, but no. So she goes, okay, bet. The closest restaurant was a Whataburger. I'm like, duck through here. We had to do some maneuvers. Bust a U. We had a light.

He gets knocked to the light. Thank God. We take the Yui, we go into the Whataburger parking lot, we run in there. I say, to hell with you, everybody's to themselves at this point. I run into the men's bathroom and I'm in a stall. I put my feet up on the toilet like this so he can't look under. I stayed in that bathroom for 20 minutes. I don't know where she was at or what she had going on, but I was here for me. My goggles were foggy.

My tail is tucked. I come back out. I come back out. She's in a booth. She's hiding like this. And she goes, he's here. Who the hell is this guy? Aggressive, man. He's in jail now. No dead ass. He's in jail. I really want to say his name because the guy sucks. But I see him literally coming outside his car. He gets out of his car. He's looking in the window of the Whataburger.

um i don't remember how it ended but i remember we were safe i could make up an ending but i don't remember how it ended i was so scared my memory got fogged it was almost as fogged as my god yo who is like who did she date she was one of those girls you know that liked the the oh god i think she was trying to fix herself by getting with like the total opposite of the spectrum the creep yeah that's not you were that's like a that's like a movie like

That's not okay. No one should have that much like vendetta against the next girlfriend in high school. Ever. I just think... To chase you on a freeway, locate you after being stopped at a stoplight, find a tail boy in the bathroom. Definitely had some parental issues. That's why he got like that. He's in jail and you belong there. Wow. Wow. I hate that guy. He knows if you have an iPhone in prison, hey, guess what? I'm free, huh? Oh my God. What are you going to do from in there? He gets out, finds me.

I have security now, so it doesn't matter. You've grown. No more tail. And I can fight. Not him. Honestly, people say I go through a lot of weird stuff, right? I'm just a weird guy. You are. I feel like I don't do things that are that weird. No, you do. Like what? You don't do things that are weird. No.

You don't think anything you do and you're in I'm gonna give you one more chance. I'm actually gonna give you one more chance Just got off yelling. I'm in a very relaxed state. We gotta get up. We gotta get a very relaxed state I'm gonna give you one more chance. Okay, you had the nerve to just say you don't do anything weird Not weirder than the average person. You don't do anything weird exiting your vehicle a daily habit every time Not that I can think of you don't wipe your feet every time you get out of your car Every single time you get out of car, you don't wipe your feet

We're in the drought of Texas. The concrete is cracking how dry it is. There's nothing to wipe off in his shoes. Get off me. He closes his door every time it goes like this.

Like there's mud or some shit. There's nothing there. And you're drooling. Why are you drooling? I don't even realize I do that. Exactly. That's what I'm talking. People don't even see this shit. I need, oh my God. You don't wipe your feet when you get out of your car? Unless there's something on it. But you don't, but it's like warming up. You don't scratch your back?

Unless there's an itch. Like, there has to be a cause and effect. I gotta explain myself. There's no explanation. There's no earthly explanation. Because it's the vibrations. Turns car off. Shuts door. No matter what. We could be going into a concert to play basketball. Link waits. Go shop or eat food. Every time. I'm like a puppy. Every time. It's like, there's nothing. The shoes could be brand new. Dead stock. Like, there's nothing on the bottom. It's like, he could buy a pair of shoes. Put them on in the car. They've never touched sediment. Ever. And he goes...

It's like, what is that? Dude, it's like I can't get started. It's so, oh my god, that and all the cans at the bottom. It's so annoying. It's because I can't get started if I don't do that. What the hell is that? You can't get started. You know what I mean? No. It's like you go like this.

What are you racing? You lining up? It's like the heat up my feet. I know it doesn't make sense right now. It never will. It never will. But it's just like a thing. I understand that, but that automatically cancels your statement of you saying, I'm not weird. It's not weird. I don't do weird things. It's not weird. It's just a different way to start. It's so weird in your own way. It's like how you stretch before you work out. That's like a universe. But that's a thing. And whenever before I drive, I go like that to the wheel.

to make sure you get a good grip. But you're not driving a Harley. There's nothing you can rev in your car. It's scary, though, when you lose grip on a wheel.

I don't want to do that. And it's just kind of like a, it's like gripping my feet on the ground. It can be a security blanket. It can be your little whoopee. That's fine. But it doesn't mean it's not, like you're weird in your own way. It's a good thing. I'm not saying it's bad, but you cannot walk around. I'm normal. I'm Joe Schmo. No, you're not. I'm weird. No one does that. I'm not the only one that's weird. I didn't say you were. You're weird. What do I do? You're actually cringy.

I'm cringy. Yes! What do I say that's cringy? The other day, whenever you left the studio and I got sad and I asked you, "Kim, I don't know what to do for the rest of the day." I kid you not, Kim looks at me, dead serious face. I'm pretty sure you squinted your eyes a little bit. And you go, "Just vibe." Just vibe! What is wrong with just vibe? Who are you, Shaun White? No more. I mean, I guess that's not like... Tony Hawk? Relax. Rob Dyrdek?

It's not- I mean it could be cringy, but it's not like- that's not a weird thing. You might as well go like that after we're getting kissed! What do you want me to- *laughs* Hey, just- What do you want me to do? Get- Who are you, dawg? You want me to give you a play-by-play? Hey! You want me to give you a depth chart on what to do today? You should go do laundry, watch a film, walk your dog out that you don't have, cook a skillet, eat the skillet, do this and that- like, just vibe. Or talk- Do whatever your soul is calling you to do. Or talk like your regular self and say, "I don't know bro, just hang out." Just do something, just like relax.

Just vibe. I don't know bro. Just hang out and relax You want me to say a nine word sentence when I could say nine words nine words Relax, that's a syllable. That is a syllable. I said nine words you idiot Relax relax that syllables nine words. I don't know just go home or whatever No, I don't know just hang out and relax

And hang out-- was hang out one word? Hang out is one word. Hang out, then it's eight. Seven. What happened? What's happening? I don't know. Just hang out and-- what'd you say? Relax. Relax. Seven. Where'd nine come from? I had nine at one point. Relax. That's syllables!

I only went through that for a little bit. But my thing is, why don't I, like, consolidate verbiage. I forgot you have asthma and you need to relax your breath because you don't use an asthma pump anymore. I'm just saving you and me both time. Just vibe. It means they're synonymous. You made me angry, though. But that's, okay, that's you. That's your fault. I said something. You recepted it, received it in a certain way. You suck. In a certain way. Just vibe. Just hang out. That's like, that is literally pot and kettle. Pot and kettle. What's a pot and kettle?

Like, kettle and pot? No, you're saying it. You just said it opposite. What is a pot and kettle? Kettle and pot. It is not kettle and pot. What is that? I don't even know what you're saying, like, at all. Like, the pot called... Like, if you were a lazy person and you called me lazy. It's an example. If you were lazy and you called me lazy. Right. And I'm like, that's like the pot calling the kettle lazy. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. You've never heard that. A pot? Why are they bringing race into it? It's...

It's saying, it's like, I can't articulate this right now. It's like you're the same thing. It's like, oh, that's convenient. What the hell is it? It was kitchen utensil. A pot and a kettle is the same thing. No, it's not. They're different words. A pot and kettle is not the same thing. Bro, it's like. A kettle you make soup in. A pot you don't. Pot you make pasta. Pots to pot.

You kettle pasta? You're about to- you're really about to- A kettle you put popcorn in! You don't even own a kettle. You don't own a kettle. You don't own a kettle. But I know things. No you don't. You don't own a kettle. It's like- how have you never heard this? Because I'm not- It's- You don't talk like that. That's probably slightly true, but it's just saying the same thing. That's pot and kettle, shut up. Oh f*ck. Oh I'm just gonna get past you right there. Just shut up and go. Excuse me.

Oh, four days. Oh, God. Dude, I honestly think I'm smarter than you sometimes. Hell, okay. Hell no. I think I have more like... Did you see how quick my face went from ha to no? I think I have more useful knowledge than you. No. Yes. Let's go. Okay, bring up something. You do it. Ask me a question. I'll ask you a question. Ask me a question first. Useful knowledge. Like, how do you do something? What is this? Where is this? Useful knowledge. Useful knowledge. Yes. Ask me a question.

I don't know, you ask me first. Prop up. It'll spark my- Prop up. You ask me. Um, um... Bit harder than you thought, huh? Oh! Who invented- who invented the cars? Who? What? Who invented the cars? Yeah. This is how simple my question for you would be. No! Yeah! Your turn! You don't know. Your turn. Do you know? Yes or no? No. Ah! Stupid idiot! Stupid! Who invented the cars? Henry Ford. No.

That's your fucking ego and pride. How can you say you don't know? Shut up, shut up, shut up. How can you say you don't know something and then tell me I'm wrong? I already knew. You literally just said you don't know. I said, but okay, not knowing the correct answer doesn't mean you don't know wrong answers. Is this algebra class? Are we doing PIMDOS? That made sense. You just said PIMDOS. PIMDOS is funny as hell. Math sucks when you use the right rules. It's the worst thing ever.

Not knowing the right answer. Okay, stay with me Bubba doesn't mean you do not know wrong answers Okay, do you think you're Aristotle bro? You are not a philosopher. It sounds very like no idea what you're saying Potter esque Yeah, but that makes I that we don't know child answers and we know both tractual guard like jargon But it's not you know what I'm saying? Yes, just cuz I don't know who created cars who made who made the sim who made it Who made these before there you go?

- Can you go to the- - No! - Yes, you did. - Henry Ford, who invented cars? - Henry Ford. - Wrong. - Who is it? - Do you want to look it up? 'Cause I don't know either. I will gladly say I don't know. - All right, new question, new question. Who invented peanut butter? - Don't know. - He was black. That's the only reason I... Okay, no, we gotta come up with a question. Okay, okay. - A useful question. It's hard, they're hard. - A useful question. - They're hard. - A useful question. Okay, what's the deadliest hunter of all time?

What the deadliest hunter say Genghis Khan? What am I supposed to know? It's a it's an animal. It's an yeah the deadliest animal hunt the deadliest hunter That's an animal. What is it? That's useful How the hell is that useful because if you go outside and you see this thing run? We'll be in the bird box if you look at it you die no, but if it can get you guess what is it since you know everything That's not useful. It's a dragonfly They have the highest kill percentage

They have the highest, the highest KD. What is this, Call of Duty? I'm telling you, they're a dangerous insect. You just said the dragonfly is the dangerous hunter. Google it right now. Since you want to Google things, Google it. I bet you did see that, you weird little peasant. Because I, that's useful. Because I need to know what's the deadliest landm- Did the dragonfly kill you? Yes. No. Flies in your throat. And he pulls out his blades? The same way I- It slices you up? The same way I fly- We're done. It was a great episode. What's the deadliest land mammal?

Human being. Nope. Yes. Hippo. Human being. It's a hippo. Are we a mammal? Yes. Are we on land? Sometimes. It's us. It's a hippo. Deadliest. It's us. Google it. Human being. Google it. Who's at the top of the food chain? All mammals. Deadliest though. We're at the top because we're the most smart. Who's killed the most people? Because there's more of us. Doesn't mean we're the deadliest. So you with everything you know, everything you're capable of doing versus a hippo with everything they know, everything they're capable of doing. I will lose one-on-one with a hippo.

I didn't say one-on-one. If you're in a- yeah, if you're in a coliseum and it's you versus Hippo, nothing? Sure, you lose. What are you saying?! I'm saying, you said deadliest. You didn't say one-on-one. You didn't say strength versus strength. We have created nuclear bombs! Listen to me in the simplest- Did a hippo make a bomb? Listen to me in the simplest form. You don't do that when I speak. Deadliest- deadliest land mammal. Oomen.

Are we a mammal? Yes. Get me butt ass naked. Right? If put me in the wilderness. Right? I have nothing on me. I'm just a land mammal. Right? Get a hippo. Take its clothes off. Put it in the forest. Hippos don't wear jeans. Hippos never had a pair of work slacks. And you put a hippo, right? Okay. Me and a hippo. Land mammal. Land mammal. I'm losing. You're losing every time.

You're losing every time. Take you, butt-ass naked, drop you in a city. Okay? Alright. Take a hippo, butt-ass naked, undo its belt and its works legs, drop him in a city. Yes. You win every single time. No, I don't, Cam. I don't care. We could be in Palm Springs, Florida. So you can't walk into a Cabela's

Or you can't walk into a firing range. Some- Cam, that's like saying you're putting different stipulations on you. You can walk outside, right, in the city. No, I didn't. Just say everything is gone. Just land. Exactly. If it's just- Okay, just out here then. I already said that. Here, put it in here. I already said that. Put it out there. That's a specific case where I have to have a weapon. That's so much new. That's a specific case where you're butt naked in a forest. The only stipulation where a hippo beats you is if you're with the hippo by yourself and there's nothing around.

You think you, so, so based on that, they're the deadliest, right? Yes. So they would kill all humans. Yes. Okay. So if a hippo comes into Dallas, yes, all of us die. We're extinct.

Okay, put one human with 80 hippos. We die. That doesn't matter. You're putting these irrational stipulations on the other person that one other has the upper hand. Exactly. If the argument is mano y mano. Deadliest land mammal. Yes, that's the stipulation. Stop saying other things. But you're not saying, deadliest land mammal. Yes. All that means, all the things we're trying to categorize is who can kill more. That's what deadliest means. And a hippo can.

Yes, and you know you're wrong. You're not listening to me. I am. You're saying because we build things, we can build things, we can do different things. Exactly. But I'm just saying, man, well, to your purest form, right?

Now you're saying that the original that's what I said. You know, let's land them I didn't say with the gun with all of your ball that this means in an empty room There's no you can't use your intelligence. You can't use other things. You've crafted You can be as smart as you want put Bill Gates in there doesn't matter. He's dead. He's where and where anywhere with you Oh, if you put Bill Gates in a firing range with the hippo Bill Gates wins, but he grabs an M60 He uses his opposable thumb

thumb and he turns that hippo into fucking hippo jerky and he wins every time that's what i'm saying if you're allowed to use what we have our brains we win

all right oh my god all right guys when we do pop culture next time i'm tired oh my god i think i actually blacked out at one point we'll say it for y'all so we can have it um uh sorry we didn't get to people sorry we didn't get to people's favorite segment you know what segment that is pop culture pain and cam pop culture pain and cam we'll see y'all next episode with that one yeah all right cam give us the outro get us out of here all right i still love you even

Even though you're like this pro-hippo activist now, you don't believe in yourself. But I still love you. We obviously still love y'all. We cannot wait to see you. It's four days away, guys. It's finally here. We cannot wait to see all of you. We cannot wait to make an amazing night. We cannot wait to share that experience and memories with you. It's going to be so, so fun. June 30th, four days away.

You should know podcast, live show, first ever, hometown heroes, Dallas, Texas. It's going to be fantastic. Can't wait to see you there. Anyway, to confuse the casuals and get your good karma for this week on Instagram, on Patreon, on TikTok, and on the full length, leave the secret code 4DA.

Four days away. Four days away. 4DA. You should know live show. 4DA. Confused Casuals. Get your karma. All of that. Any information you need to know, link is down below. Remember, Uncle P already said it in the intro, but the RSVPs for the after party is sold out. Wait, wait, wait. Pump your brakes. That doesn't mean you can't come. That's just RSVPing. It is still an open club. You can 100% come. Show up, baby. Show up. Show out. After party. PM lounge.

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Hey, if you're coming to the live show, make as much noise as you can. We want it to be loud. We'll blow the roof off of Southside Music Hall and then PM Lounge. We're going to turn it upside down. All right? We love you guys. Remember, when I took wall bears, don't make it home to Christmas. And we will see you next time.