Jeff The Killer | Creep Cast
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Welcome back to Creepcast! We are talking about one of the OG classics. I couldn't find an official date. There's been some speculation of when exactly this thing was live or whatever. I don't know. Today we're talking about Jeff the Killer! Woo!

If you haven't heard of Jeff the Killer, you've probably seen this image here. I feel like everybody on the internet has seen this image at least once. One of the most classic internet images of all time. It is. For sure. It's a good one. I like it.

You know, it's one of those, it's a nice blown out image, you know. It kind of works in a bunch of different ways. I feel like it works in some comedy memes while also being a bit spooky. It's a jack of all trades, which I enjoy. I'm jumping the gun a little bit on the analysis, but I truly think the most impactful thing to come out of the entire story is that image.

It is probably the only positive, if I'm being completely transparent. Not just for Jeff the Killer, but for where internet horror went as a whole. This was one of the first images that was kind of in that shaky, found footage, there's something in my house tone. And that's most of what internet horror became after that. It does have that Mandela catalog kind of vibe. Yes, exactly. That kind of weird, uncanny...

It looks like someone was being attacked and uploaded it right before they died. It gives that whole vibe to it. So I think the most impactful thing to come out of this whole story was that image. And that was the peak because it's all downhill from there.

It is. It is. This is an interesting one because we started off with the Search and Rescue series, which we both enjoyed. It's just like a very fun, well-written classic. This ages like sour milk. I mean, if I had to literally... When I got done reading this, I thought to myself, okay, this is like...

This is if they tried to make a superhero out of a school shooter is what it sounds like. That's exactly what it read like. School shooter vigilante is what it reads. And there's a lot of influences, and especially because I saw here that –

No one knows where the photo really is. There's no specified photo, but apparently the version that we read that I think is the most popular isn't even the original version. There's something I'm reading here called the Sessor version. I don't know if I can pronounce that correctly. I don't know if you know that word. On October 3rd of 2008, Sessor, S-E-S-S-E-U-R. That may be pronounced Susser.

Dr. Seusser. I have no idea. The Seusser version. You're probably right. But that individual uploaded a video titled Jeff the Killer original story on YouTube. And that video predates the famous creepypasta story. So I'm guessing that the creepypasta story came out around the same time as that, probably in the 2008s, which if I'm also correct, around 2008 is when The Dark Knight came out, which feels even more...

in spot like i feel like they literally saw heath ledger's joker and we're like that's the coolest thing i've ever seen in my life because it feels like there's so many call outs to that in this uh story um but yeah there's apparently the the sucer version uh you know there's there's some different kinds of uh delineations and differences but you know uh

The one that people, at least the one that I read, the one that seems to be more famous is the one that was re-uploaded or like the reboot or whatever of the original version, which is the one we decided to read together. But yeah, no, I mean, without further ado, I think let's just kind of jump into it.

I am so excited. So yeah, it seems like, at least from what we can tell historically, there was a YouTube video uploaded, like a short little thing just to show off the face, to show that it was creepy, whoever made it. And then the story got made shortly thereafter to go along with the face and give it an explanation. That's what it seems like happened.

uh, to this day, it's a point of debate where the Jeff, the killer image came from. There's some people who say it came from, it's like this selfie, a girl posted like early my space. Uh, but that Robinson, yeah, you know, you know what I'm talking about, right? Where she's kind of in a dark room, but that's been debunked. Um,

There were theories of it being like a school project for a scary story, but then that's got debunked. It's still a mystery where the image came from, but it looks like it was the image and then the story got attached to it. And one of the reasons I wanted to talk about this today is Hunter and I were discussing like, oh, what other famous early internet horror story should we cover? So a lot of good ones came to my mind, like No End House, The Showers, Boroska.

And the stairs in the woods that we talked about last episode. So, like, there's so many good stories. But then, while we were thinking about it, I said, you know, it's a little disingenuous to say every single early internet horror story was good. Not to say it wasn't effective, because Jeff the Killer terrified me for months on end when that story came out, when I saw that face.

And then as I was thinking about it, I'm like, man, I'm sure it is way worse than I remember. So to give some context, Hunter has compiled this document and, like, read the stuff to make the document out. I haven't looked at this story in over 10 years. So I'm...

I'm so ready for whatever it's truly a yin and yang kind of situation of somebody who is going in already having dodged all the bullets and now you're going in with hellfire raining down on you. So I hope you're ready. Yeah, I remember the broad strokes of the story, but like I said, it's been a while, so I can't wait for how terrible this is going to be. Yes, and without further ado, I will get us started in here. We also heard some feedback from your guys' stuff, so we will be reading directly from it and getting you

all loosey and juicy in the story here. So here we go. The story starts with an excerpt from a local newspaper talking about how the killer is still in the loose and on the rise. Very little, very little evidence has been gathered, but a young boy survived an attack from the killer and tells a story, which is to me was just kind of a funny way to start the story. Um, it's all because this, so many early horror stories did that, you know, like the whole, uh,

They try to do the cold open thing, but the cold open is always just like, there's a death. Someone died. And then it just jumps to something else. That is true. Yeah. Which I was going to say, do you want to read as the young boy or do you want me to read as the young boy? I'll take it. I'll take this one. Because, again, this is all... This is like meeting a childhood friend only to find out that he's like a crack addict now. And like...

homeless so like this is going to be sad for me because like tale as old as time itself yeah yeah of course the whole crack addict high school friends story we all know it of course but like this story was one of like my first exposures to internet horror and we see how that you know lineage took place in my life so this is going to be really depressing for me so i'll go ahead and start

I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night, says the boy. Oh, come on. Well, first off, you gotta give us more of a boy voice than that. If he's a little boy, come on now. I had a bad dream! Is that better? That is horrible. Okay, go back to the regular. I hate you!

I think I caught something when I went to the range day. One of the 800 influencers gave it to me. Yeah, you definitely got sick from one of the 800 influencers. Yeah, that or I got shot. I can't tell. But either way, the little boy voice isn't happening today, so we're going back to my first step. All right.

I'm also holding the microphone closer to my mouth to blow out everyone's speakers. I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night, says the boy. I saw that for some reason the window was open, even though I remember it being closed before I went to bed. I got up and shut it once more.

Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and tried to get back to sleep. Wait, hold on, hold on. Immediately, immediately. How old is the boy in this story? This is one of the most frustrating things about this entire thing. They do not give any ages about any of the fucking characters. Let's say it's the kid who's like, I had a bad dream and woke up in the middle of the night. Let's be generous and say he's 10.

I was going to say 10. I think 10 is fair. 10 is a boy. That's a fair boy. There's a 10-year-old who is speaking to the police about an attempted murder. He says, I got up and shut it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled... Could you imagine a child speaking this way? Afterwards, I simply crawled under my cover... It doesn't work. It doesn't work.

No. And then it feels even weird where it's like a 19 year old having this kind of thing and referring to it as a boy. Yeah. I had a nightmare and I woke up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got scared. I went to find my mommy. We can't do this for the whole like thing because we'll be here all day. I'm sure. I just have a feeling. So that that's my blanket criticism for the whole story. Children don't talk that way.

Anyway, that's when I had a strange feeling like someone was watching me. I looked up and nearly jumped out of my bed there in the little ray of light illuminating from between my curtains. I'm just sorry. I said I just said I wouldn't keep criticizing it for that. But that's so funny. Illuminating from between my curtains. It's H.P. Lovecraft as a child. Yeah.

It's 10-year-old H.P. Lovecraft. Yeah, yeah. Illuminating from behind between my curtains were a pair of two eyes. It's like, how old are you? I'm seven.

It's like, what said that actor Keith David with all the cool voices? This was Keith David. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I would love if this was Keith David's 10-year-old experience. I'm sure we could pay him for a cameo, get him to narrate the story. You'd have to think so. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that'd be a good use for podcast funds. Anyway. Illuminating from between my curtains were a pair of two eyes.

These weren't regular eyes. They were dark, ominous eyes. They were dark, ominous eyes. They were bordered and black and just plain out terrified me. That's when I saw his mouth. A long, horrendous smile that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a madman could speak.

He said, go to sleep. I let out a scream. That's what sent him at me. He pulled up a knife, aiming at my heart. He jumped on top of my bed. I fought him back. I kicked. I punched. I rolled around, trying to knock him off me. That's when my dad busted in. The man threw the knife. It went into my dad's shoulder. The man probably... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Just the thought of like...

I know movies do it all the time, but it's really not that easy to throw a knife. Trust me, as soon as you get done with this blurb, I have plenty of thoughts. I swear to God. I'll power through. The man threw the knife. It went into my dad's shoulder. The man probably would have finished him off if one of the neighbors hadn't alerted the police.

What? Okay.

I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those cold, evil eyes and that psychotic smile. They will never leave my head.

So this is the preamble entry into this story. We haven't even gotten into who our main characters are. This is just the excerpt from a survivor of something. Now, let me tell you something. This is not a horrible way to begin a story of a preamble of some kind of newscast. It's fun. We see it in some kind of movies. The problem with this for me is one, like you said, the child doesn't sound like a child. Yeah. And then also there's a couple things. One,

If we are to assume that this is a child, am I supposed to be afraid of something that can be overpowered and kicked off by a teenager? Okay? Number one. And then number two is...

With the dad coming in, is it supposed to be badass that this smiling character can throw a knife to such a perfect degree and hit the dad in the shoulder? Like, is this now an action sequence? It completely takes out any of the actual suspense and terror of anything going on when I'm like, okay, now this is just turning it. Like, I'm picturing this smiling figure as, like, Jason Statham or something like that.

Yeah. Like a tiny, like little man. But I don't know this, this, this whole thing. And then the police showing up for one of the worst. Cause it's like, nothing was happening. He was hiding in the room and the struggle lasts maybe half a minute, maybe a minute. Uh, and the police are in the driveway. Cause the neighbor called them. What?

Well, yeah, like what... Well, how did the neighbor even... And this is all very nitpicky. We can get maybe... Of course. Hey, that's what we're here for. We are here to bitch and complain. Yeah, yeah, that's the whole point. But I guess it's just the thing of like don't immediately...

Give the character an out. Like, don't give the villain an out immediately, or the victims an out, I should say, when it's like, well, thank God the neighbors just kind of so happened to hear something. It takes away all of the weight and momentum. But this is going to come back later. I do want to put this out later, because like I said, I thought that this was interesting, but I will be harping on it later. So...

We are now introduced to our main character, Jeff, a young man, presumably mid-teens, because once again, God forbid they give us any kind of age to really give an idea. Not even like a grade. Like they say, because the whole thing here is where he's presumably mid-teens, just, you know, him and his family just moved to a quote, a new fancy neighborhood following his dad's promotion at work. Jeff, along with his mom, whose name is Margaret and his dad, Peter, and Jeff has a younger brother named Lou. Okay.

who are kind of just going along with this new place, but they're living in this, you know, they're like, yeah, it's cool that this is a new, this is coming back to me. Oh no. Yeah. We're in a new neighborhood and it's cool. Cause dad got a promotion. We live in a fancy, a quote unquote, fancy neighborhood. Uh,

But then they're interrupted by their neighbor, Barbara, who stops by to introduce herself and her son named Billy, who seems to be much younger than Jeff and his brother, Lou, but invites them over to Billy's birthday party in which Jeff's mom agrees to have them all over. But Jeff isn't having it. And he, quote, says, Mom, why would you invite us to some kid's party if you haven't noticed? I'm not some dumb kid.

That's a legitimate quote. That was actually like, I forget until you do it that you can actually do impressions really well. I can do the quotes from now on if you want me to. I'll do the quotes. I can do the reading, but I need you to do the children. Yeah, I'll do the acting. Cool, cool. That sounds good. Sounds dope. All right. Yeah, I'm remembering details of this story now. It does follow, like everything so far is a stereotype, like cold open, someone tries to die.

Tries to die. Tries to not die. You know what I mean? They try to die. Someone tries to die, yeah. And then it's like, well, we just moved to the new neighborhood, but the neighbors are weird. It feels very...

Very standard. Yeah. I immediately started. I mean, like the beginning blurb, sure, it has his mistakes, but it wasn't until this direct quote, which is why I put it in here, where I said, oh, God, we're in for this is going to be some schlocky, cheesy, which I have no idea who wrote this story.

But I assume it was someone who was probably around the same age as Jeff, which is also probably why they never allude to the actual age of anybody because they're just like, what's my age? You know, that's how I'm seeing it. But I love that. I love this line. It feels like something out of a cheesy, like extremely B tier horror film. I'm not like the other kids. Yeah, yeah. Mom, why would you invite us to some kid's party? If you haven't noticed, I'm not some dumb kid. Yeah.

Which is so cliche of like, I'm older now, mom. I'm an old kid. But it doesn't come across as like also like genuine or charismatic. It comes across as fucking like annoying. And it immediately sets in my mind that Jeff is an incel.

I immediately started seeing he's like a Reddit 4chan kid who's like, God. And then now, because then I started reading, I was like, oh God, his lines read so much better. If his voice is like this, and he's like, Bob, why would you invite us to some kid's party? If you haven't noticed, I'm not some dumb kid. God.

It's so much better as like a nasally annoying, like, we got moved into this fancy neighborhood. Thanks, dad. It does keep the tone of like, don't you know I'm better than this? Don't you know I'm above all this? Yeah. Yeah. I'm supposed to be on a rude scape. I don't want to be hanging out with Billy.

I'm supposed to be killing rats in RuneScape. I have better things to do than socialize, Mom. You idiot. You stupid. But Jeff's mom, she isn't having it. She doesn't give a shit. She's like, you're going to go to the party. That's final. She's like, we need to socialize. You need to get out of your room and stop playing RuneScape. That's an ad lib. That's not in the story, but that's what I like to think.

And Jeff goes up to his room, realizing that arguing with his mom isn't going to get him anywhere. But then something strange happens. And quote, this is from the story, he says, he walked up to his room and plopped down on his bed. He sat there looking at his ceiling when suddenly he got a weird feeling. Not so much a pain, but a weird feeling. He dismissed it as if some random feeling. He heard his mother call him down to get his stuff, and he walked down to get it. Ha ha ha ha!

That's what I like about this. He had a feeling feeling. A very feeling feeling. He had a feeling that was a feeling. It wasn't a painful feeling, but it was a weird feeling. It was a feeling. Which I don't know what kind of mental psychosis Jeff is starting to feel. But this is where I'm like, this is immediately, once again, like I said, it's going to start coming full circle. But this little thing is, it doesn't feel like a feeling. It feels like mental deterioration. It feels like somebody...

going, kind of becoming a bit wacky is what I would say. Yeah, I completely forgot about this until just now that that was something they tried to build in. That like this child, this child is just sitting in his bed and he gets a feeling feeling. I completely forgot about that. This is way...

For the podcast, this is much better than I remember, but objectively, this is way worse than I remember. Yeah. Reading this whole preamble, you showed how immature it is, but it's charming. I don't want to completely shit on it. It has a layer of charm to it, but it's the idea of like, it's something charming because it's so amateur, but...

it's like, what feeling though? Like, I don't know what feeling it is. It's a feeling feeling, Hunter. Gosh, it's a story he told you. That is true. It is a feeling feeling. It's a weird one. I was wondering at this point, is it going to go into magic? Because it's like, it's not a pain feeling, but a weird feeling. And I'm like, is he going to get superpowers or something? I don't know. By the end of the story, he does, by the way. I do remember how weird it gets. Yeah, yeah. Yes.

Also, something I want to clarify. For one, one of the reasons we're making fun of it as much as we are is this is one of the bedrocks of internet horror and one of the things that got me into it originally. So it's like making fun of my grandpa, right? It's very important. I recognize it's very important. I'm still going to mock it for like...

throwing up at Thanksgiving, right? Because it's still funny. I think that people also need to understand that sometimes when you point and you are having fun with something, it's not that necessarily you don't like it, but I think it's like you can laugh at things that you appreciate and that you like. Yeah, of course. I think that people don't understand that. I think that's why so many people get up in arms when it's like, you don't like this thing that I like!

And it's like, I do like it, but it is kind of stupid and fun. So I think that it's – I like plenty of things, and I respect plenty of things that I love to point at that I know are objectively kind of shitty. But that's fine. That's a part of the beautiful thing about just even these stories is that if all of them were bangers, none of them would be remotely special. Right.

Like you have to have these kind of goofy ones to really appreciate not only the goofy stories, but the ones that are made that are very good. But anyways. Hey, everyone. So I wanted to take a break from the podcast to talk about how thankful I am that you all are here and to talk about the real reason that we're here in the first place.

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Again, that's rocketmoney.com forward slash creepcast to get in on this incredible financial tool today. Thank you so much to Rocket Money for sponsoring this video. It really does mean the most. Hope you all check them out. Link is in the description and we are back to the show. Jeff has a similar feeling the next day. The feeling, feeling. He has a feeling the next day. All right.

Except this time he compares it to a tugging pain. So I'm like, okay, well now he's having a heart attack or something. I don't know what's happening to him. But he dismisses it. Good man. You know, Jeff, he feels the pain. He says, whatever, I don't care. And Jeff and his brother finish their breakfast and go to the bus stop where we get maybe one of the cringiest antagonist intros ever, which is a boy named Randy. I have to do this one. Yes, and please do. Absolutely.

Also, for everyone listening, if you think we're jumping because we went from a murder description at the beginning to this, that's how the story goes. This is the legitimate flow of the story. We have not skipped anything. It goes from someone almost dying to I'm not like those other kids and then what I'm about to read, okay? Yeah. All right, so referring to the bullies at the bus stop.

They sat there waiting for the bus, and then, all of a sudden, some kid on a skateboard jumped over them, only inches above their laps. They both jumped back in surprise. Hey, what the hell?

The kid landed and turned back to them. He kicked his skateboard up and caught it with his hands. The kid seems to be about 12, one year younger than Jeff. Oh, we got an age. So there he goes. We got an age. So Jeff is 13. Jeff's 13. Jeff's 13. Okay, cool. That makes this way worse for him. It does. It does. But continuing. The kid seems to be about 12, one year younger than Jeff. He wears an Aeropostale shirt and rips blue jeans.

So Jeff and his brother are at the bus stand and then this kid in an, as described, an air apostle shirt and ripped jeans jumps a skateboard over them. Well, well, well, it looks like we got some new meat. It's a 12 year old. It's a 12 year old. Suddenly two other kids appeared.

One was super skinny and the other was huge. Well, since you're new here, I'd like to introduce ourselves. Over there is Keith.

Jeff and Lou look over to the skinny kid. He had a dopey face that you would expect a sidekick to have. That's pretty mean to just be like, he looks like a sidekick. You're a sidekick, Keith. You look just like a sidekick. He's like, really? I'm Keith. And he's Troy. They look over at the fat kid. Talk about a tub of lard.

That's not a quote. That's the story calling him a tub of lard. That's a legitimate quote from the story. Talk about a tub of lard. Jesus Christ. The narrator had to be like, this kid was fat. Well, read the next line. This kid looked like he had an exercise since he was crawling. Why is the narrator telling us that?

That's so mean. You really gotta put an emphasis how fat this child is. Child obesity is such a problem in this country. He had to bring character to explain to the audience how fat this person was. He's large. So large. And I, said the first kid, am Randy. Now, for all the kids in this neighborhood, there's a small price for bus fare if you catch my drift. This 12-year-old's running a racketeering scam if you catch my drift. Exactly.

Lou stood up, ready to punch the lights out of the kid's eyes when one of his friends pulled a knife on him. Bro, what? Exactly. No. Exactly. Wait, dude, I think I just remembered where this is going. This story is insane. When I read this at like 11 years old, this all made sense. I'm like, yeah, this is a clear – this is clearly a viable story. This could happen. But oh my gosh. Yeah.

Yeah, it's hitting every possible cliche it can. It's trying to be seven different stories. So far, it's trying to be... It's basically like...

it starts off with a jason statham action sequence and now it's veering its way into like it territory yeah is what it feels like like the weird like bullies who have like they're like speak easy like 1950s doo-wop haircuts and knives and they're riding scared skateboards yeah and they're like you know what i mean it's literally pull a knife on another child yeah yes all right which which also what child did you ever know growing up who had like a butterfly knife

what what child at all did you know growing up threatened somebody with a knife that wasn't born in 1933 i'll give you this from east tennessee i knew a lot of kids had knives like because we thought it was cool i never i was never in a knife fight i never knew someone my age who got into a knife fight that's true that doesn't happen that much

Yeah, I guess it could just be like a random little pocket knife. I just always imagine like the one that you click, like the butterfly knife, or the one you click it, and it slips out. Yeah, it's like a stiletto knife. Yeah, exactly. Like one of those, where it's just like, don't be screaming to nobody. Cut you up! You'll be sleeping with the fishes. You'll be sleeping with the fishes when I dice you up with my little knife.

Literally a child. Not even a teenager yet, man. Okay, alright. Does not have any hairs on his balls. He's just a prepubescent child, probably. So he has to be like, hey, I'm gonna cut you with my knife! You sound like Mickey Mouse. It is Mickey Mouse. Every prepubescent boy sounds like Mickey Mouse. I digress! Go ahead. So, after he pulls the knife, he says, Tsk, tsk, tsk. I had hoped you would be more cooperative. Okay. Okay.

Me? Yep. Alright, alright. We're gonna be here all day if I don't power through, but oh my gosh. Yeah, we're gonna have to just power through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was hoping you'd be like he's a Sith Lord, like he's Darth Vader. I'd hope you'd be more cool. I'd hope you would be more cooperative, young Jedi. It's like Marlon Brando. Okay, alright. Yeah, Marlon Brando like Christopher Lee. Yeah. Okay, alright. But it seems we must do this the hard way. Okay.

The kid walked up to Lou and took his wallet out of his pocket. Jeff got that feeling again. There's that feeling. Now it was truly strong, a burning sensation. Kind of like, you know, syphilis. He stood up, but Lou gestured him to sit down. Jeff ignored him and walked up to the kid. Listen here, you little punk. Give back my bro's wallet or else.

Randy put the wallet in his pocket and pulled out his own knife. Wait, I thought Randy was holding a knife. Oh, did one of the other kids have a knife? I think it was the other kids who had pulled it out. Okay, all right. There's multiple knives. The fat one or the skinny one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. The sidekick or the tub of lard, as the story called them. It's true. The dopey face sidekick, the genetic abomination, or the tub of lard. Yeah, you're correct.

So Randy pulls out his own knife. Oh, and what will you do? Just as he finished the sentence, Jeff popped the kid in the nose. As Randy reached for his face, Jeff grabbed the kid's wrist and broke it. What the? Randy screamed and Jeff grabbed the knife from his hand. Troy and Keith rushed Jeff, but Jeff was too quick. He threw Randy to the ground. Keith lashed out at him, but Jeff ducked and stabbed him in the arm.

As he fell, he puked all over. Lou could do nothing but look in amazement at Jeff.

What the... What's a get? Another concrete... Another amazing concrete action sequence of Jeff, the 13-year-old, getting business done, basically. He's dodging punches, stabbing people. Like, what the... Yes.

This is also supposed to be... This is also, once again, we quote, a fancy neighborhood. And yet there's all these rapscallion hooligans going on, like a 1950s doo-wop street warfare happening for some reason. There is a strong class system in this neighborhood. The children are left to the animals. They are. It is a literal Lord of Flies situation going on in this neighborhood. But seeing the bus coming, Jeff and Lou, the brothers, they...

They know that they're going to be blamed for the assault on these people, which, you know, I mean, it is their problem. But there's good justification of, like, three people pulling knives at us. Yeah, if someone pulls a knife on you, I guess it's time to go to work. But you're also 12. They didn't know that they were getting ready to stab Jason Bourne, but still. What do you do? So they decided to run away. Jeff and Lou decided to run away, only looking back to see the bus driver tending to Randy on the ground. The brothers went to school and didn't tell anybody what happened. And, uh...

This is another little excerpt from the story. It says, All they did was sit and listen. Lou just thought of that his brother beating up a few kids, but Jeff knew it was more. It was something scary. As he got that feeling, he felt... God, here we go. Good Lord, dude. As he got that feeling, he felt how powerful it was. He got that feeling, he felt how powerful it was. The urge just to hurt someone.

He didn't like how it sounded, but he couldn't help feeling happy. He felt that strange feeling go away and stay away for the entire day of school. Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop...

Wait, what? Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop. Bus stop. And how now he probably wouldn't be taking the bus anymore. Basically, even as he like walked home and how he wouldn't be taking the bus. Even though he's even though he realizes he can't use the bus anymore. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. It's a good Lord. When he got home, his parents asked him how his day was. And he said in a somewhat ominous voice, it was a wonderful day.

Okay, hold on. Once again, we're getting some very incel energy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. But also, there's no... Like, he used the kids pulling a knife on him as an excuse to hurt them. He already had that feeling, as the story made clear, before that happened. So, Jeff wants to hurt people because he moved to a nice neighborhood.

Jeff moving to a nice neighborhood was probably the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. He needs to kill people now, according to him. Yeah, apparently now this feeling, the feeling that we're feeling, the feeling that we felt before that we felt and we're feeling now that we feel is Jeff basically being like, I feel like I want to hurt someone. Which, once again, only adds to the narrative that does this not sound like some 4chan incel thing?

school shooter vibes. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's becoming more and more clear. So I was like, okay, where are we going with this? Which the next morning, officers show up to Jeff's house wanting to speak with him about the assault on Randy, which is just funny. I like how they, you know, I love that it's the salt on Randy.

You hurt Randy, Jeff. He's 12 and he has a skateboard, Jeff. Come on. Jeff tries to explain that Randy was the one who pulled the knives on them, but with the injuries Jeff looked, but with all of the injuries that Randy, the fat tub of shit, and the skinny guy had, Jeff looked like a complete monster. He looked too guilty. So Jeff confesses to the crime, and which this is funny, I do like that this is also a direct quote. The officer literally says, after Jeff's like, yeah, I did it. All right, I did it.

The officer says, well, kid, looks like a year in juvie. What? What kind of response? Well, kid, damn. That's not how cops work. Looks like you got a year in juvie coming your way. You know what? You know what?

That actually further backs up your theory that this was written by like a kid or like, you know, preteen, high school, whatever. It has to be. Because only they would think that like the way it works is a cop shows up and it's like, you stabbed this kid? Well, I'll put you in juvie a year. Come on. Right.

Direct to juvie with you, son. Yep, yep. Looks like one exact year of juvie coming your way. That's the bill. Exactly. It's like, yeah, and I just decided that right now, and that's how it's going to work. You're coming with me. I am the judge and the executioner. You're going to be put to death, Jeff. The author has never even heard of a courtroom. Yeah.

Yeah, no, they think that that's a made-up place for TV shows. And also, also, the idea that you can... If the court finds that you maliciously stabbed another child, they're just like, one year.

One exact year. Yeah, yeah. To you, Jeff, the man with feelings. Who you felt. Jeff, are you feeling those feelings now? Uh, maybe. Have you felt them when you feel them? Have you felt them when you feel them and you felt them when you felt field, Jeff?

Oh, okay. Hold on. Hold on. Can I read this next part? This is so good. Yeah, go ahead. I'm looking at this text document right now. Okay, so cop's like, well, looks like you're going to jail for a year. And then it says, Lou interjects at the top of the stairs holding a knife in which all the officers immediately pull out their guns and point it at the child holding a kitchen knife. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Lou confesses for the crime to save Jeff and everyone just believes him even though wouldn't Randy tell them who did it? But at the end, Jeff's mother consoles Jeff by saying, quote,

Jeff, please, you don't have to lie. We know it's Lou. You can stop. Bro, bro, okay. So the cops, Randy's like, hey, I got stabbed by this kid who's a year older than me. And the cops go to his house. And then they're like, well, you're going to jail for a year. But then an unrelated child is like,

Actually, I did it. And the cop's like, works for me. So he throws that kid. Literally. He just throws that kid in the police car. And then the mom's like, yeah, I mean, sure, it's still my son, but who cares? Like, get over it. It's insane to me that they sit there and they're like, yes. Like a kid's just like, I'm holding a knife. Basically, essentially like an 11 or 12-year-old. Because I think Lou is younger than Jeff. So he's sitting at the top of the steps with a knife.

And then all the cops immediately pull a gun out on him. Like, I mean, like three cops pull a gun. They're like, drop the knife, Lou. And he's like, I did it. I did the crime. And they're like, all right, we believe you. And when I was reading it, I was like, why wouldn't Randy just be like, no, that's not, it's the other guy. That's not the kid who beat the shit out of me. Isn't Lou the younger brother too? Yeah, exactly. So now it's like a nine-year-old like decked out these three older kids. Exactly.

And they're like, all right, fine. A year for you, nine-year-old boy in juvie. That's how the law works. I'm sorry. I've got to do it. I love how his mom, Margaret, is just so like...

She just... It's so funny how dumb they write her. Like, she's just like, Jeff, please. You don't have to lie. We know it's Lou. You can stop. What kind of sentence... What kind of human sentence is that? It feels like Margaret Bot came up. It's like she's just some kind of robot. And she's like, Jeff, please. You don't have to lie. We know it's Lou. You can stop. What would you like for dinner, son? But...

Jeff, he's riddled with guilt now. His brother's taking the blame for feeling alone in this new town. And a couple of days pass and it's Saturday. Only a couple days, right? Since...

like put that into context. A couple of days have passed since the mom and the family have found out that their son stabbed and beat a man to death. Jeff has been this depressed sack of shit, staying up in his room, feeling all depressed, whatever guns were pulled on your child who was holding a knife, like a complete fucking psychopath. And all of a sudden Jeff has woken up by his mother to let him know that, Hey, we have to get, remember Billy, we need to get ready for Billy's birthday party. Barbara, you know, remember her son, we're going to the birthday party. And, uh,

That's when I just wanted to read this excerpt because this is really funny This is a long blurb from it, but it's a it's a very funny back and forth. So I wanted to read this It's a Jeff. It's the day she said as she opened up the curtains let the light flood in the room What what's today asked Jeff as he stirs awake why it's Billy's party. He was now fully awake mom You're joking, right?

You don't expect me to go to some kid's party after... There was a long pause. There's a lot of also long pauses. It's very anime, I've noticed. A lot of it's like, you don't expect me to go to some kid's party after... Jeff, we both know what happened.

I think this party would be a good thing that brightens up the past days. Now get dressed. Jeff's mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and a pair of jeans and walked downstairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up, his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why would they ever wear such fancy clothes to a kid's party? Son?

What the heck?

Now, Jeff, we may be overdressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression, said his father. Jeff grunted and went back up to his room. I don't have any fancy clothes, he yelled downstairs. Just pick out something, called his mother. He looked around his closet for what he would call fancy. He would find a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and undershirt.

He couldn't find a shirt to go with it, though. He looked around and found some striped and patterned shirts, none of which go with dress pants. Finally, he found a white hoodie and put it on.

You're wearing that, they both said. His mother looked at her watch. Oh, no time to change. Let's go. She said as she herded Jeff and his father out the door, they crossed the street over to Barbara and Billy's house. Now, I quoted all this because, one, what a completely inhuman interaction to have. And then, two, here's a couple things. He said something up here where I was like, okay, we get this dialogue of him saying,

He picked out a random shirt and a pair of jeans and walked down the stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up, his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why would they... Why they would ever wear such a fancy clothes to a kid's party? So I thought, okay, is this going to set up some kind of...

weird like orientation thing yeah i something of like i don't know i don't know something devious or whatever a reason for the parents to wear fancy clothes to a kid to wear and then to also be mad that he's not wearing because right he essentially puts on a shirt and jeans that's not the worst outfit for a child's birthday party yeah that's like what what are what are they doing at the child's party like talking about the stock market they're gonna play around in the yard like

Yeah, and you would think that it's setting up something to be more than what it is. And then there's also this rushed aspect of her being like, there's no time. We have to go. They live next door. And it's a child's birthday party. It's not a hard deadline. It's a child's birthday party next door. So odd. Also, who on earth...

Okay, so it's a child's birthday party, right? And the parents are going for some reason. But this is the same woman who, when she found out her even younger son was responsible for his stabbing, was just like, Jeff, clearly your younger brother. Like, the cop said he's going to jail for a year. So let's stop thinking about that and let's wear our ball gown to this other child's birthday party. Yeah, let's play dress up.

as if we're going to prom and go to this young person's birthday party, which also, that's a funny thing of like, we know that you're upset that your brother is a psychopath, Jeff. All right, we get it, but we have to go make an impression with the neighbors. Why?

Why would you need that? And then also, how would the neighbors not be like, hey, by the way, you guys aren't invited anymore since your kids are fucking psychopaths. But no, they're just like, hey, please come over. Be alone with my children. I really want you to be alone with my children, Jeff. I know that you're manic, and this happened three days ago, but please be alone with here. One kid, they're in the neighborhood for one day, and a kid gets stabbed.

Like, do not invite them over. That's so weird. One day, and Jeff stabs the kids and breaks their wrists with ease, mind you. With ease. To break someone's bones, I feel like would be relative. I mean, I have never done it. But I have to imagine. It's going to be pretty tough. You'd have to have some kind of godlike force to just do it. Especially as a child. Well, hey, Hunter, he had a feeling.

The feeling was felt and reciprocated that he felt the feeling. Clearly, that explains it. That is true. Yeah, that rides it off. Which they go over to the party, and Jeff notices that at the party, all of the adults are inside and the kids are outside. Barbara tells Jeff to go outside and play with the kids, which at first, he doesn't like being out there hanging out with them, but he almost immediately says he has a fun time when he, quote, pretends to shoot kids at

At the party. Because it was the first time he hadn't thought about his brother in juvie. Which I thought was very funny. At first, it was really annoying. Like, killing children. Bang, bang. You're dead. Bang. Once again, does that not read like a school shooter? I mean, honestly. How are we not prepping up that this is a school shooter thing? I was like, okay, I feel like I'm kind of reading this from a mile away. Sure. But no. And then you think that it's going somewhere. And then once again, you have the weird...

the weird crossover with like the importance of being in a dress up situation, which that goes nowhere. You go outside and then he's like, Oh, I feel good about, you know, fake killing these kids. Yeah. I'm having fun. I'm not thinking about my brother in jail anymore. Okay. So this is probably going to be him, I guess, not able to control that, that crazy feeling. Right. I sure do. Maybe, maybe that's, yeah,

Yeah, God, I love killing. That's the feeling. I love killing. And you're like, okay, that makes sense. But no, it doesn't go anywhere from there. Instead...

Suddenly, at this party, right? This backyard party, Randy, the kid who pulled the knife and had the skateboard, all him, Randy and his fat friend and the skinny guy hop over the fence at the party, and all hell is about to break loose, which I was going to say, if you want to take this part, you can. I'll take this part. I also want to clarify. This is a big one. For listeners, they're probably listening to this and thinking, like, what the...

Where did that come from? Like, he's talking about shooting kids. I'm telling you. And then it just says they show up. This is verbatim. This is the legitimate flow of the story. Yeah, I'm going to read the sentence right there. It says, So he played with the kids for a while until he heard a noise, a weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. Like...

It goes from just like him fantasizing shooting children to the gang's here. We gotta get out of here. The doo-wop 1950s clan is here to wreak havoc on Billy's birthday party. Which Billy should be pissed, but we never hear from Billy. Which I could hear his perspective, but...

So suddenly Randy and his goons hover the fence and all hell is about to break loose here. And then it says, hello, Jeff is it? He said, we have some unfinished business. So anime. So anime. So anime.

Jeff saw his bruised nose. I think we're even. I beat the crap out of you, and you got my brother sent to JDC. This does feel like an anime. I'm telling you. I think we're even. I beat the crap out of you, and you got my brother sent to JDC. They're making those weird moaning noise to themselves as the other's talking. God.

Like, yeah. Hello, Jeff, is it? He said, and he pushes up his glasses or whatever with his pinky. And he's like, we have some unfinished business. Randy got an angry look in his eyes. Oh, no, I don't go for even. I go for winning. Oh, gosh. Oh, God. Good Lord.

I go, alright, hold on, I have to lean into it. Oh no, I don't go for even. I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today. I just caught what you were doing. The like, ugh.

As he, as he, hold on, hold on. Will you be Jeff for the rest of the scene and I'll be Randy? Yes. Okay, all right. I'll do the narration, but if it gets to a Jeff line, you take it. Okay. Yeah, I will. Yeah, yeah. As he said that, Randy rushed at Jeff. They both fell to the ground. Randy punched Jeff in the nose and Jeff grabbed him by the ears and headbutted him. Jeff pushed Randy off of him and both rose to their feet.

Kids were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Troy and Keith both pulled guns out of their pockets. Whoa! Whoa! Troy and Keith both pulled guns out of their pockets on the parents? Okay.

No one interrupts or guts will fly, they said. Randy pulled a knife on Jeff and stabbed it into his shoulder. Jeff screamed and fell to his knees. Randy started kicking him in the face. After three kicks, Jeff grabs his foot and twists it, causing Randy to fall to the ground. Jeff stood up and walked towards the back door. Troy grabbed him.

some help he picks Jeff up by the back it's literally the fight thing like going somewhere I'm telling you exactly he picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door as Jeff tries to stand he's kicked down he's kicked down to the ground Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff until he starts coughing up blood

Come on, Jeff! Fight me! He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff's head. It's a 12-year-old. This is a 12-year-old, by the way. This is a 12-year-old. This is a gang of... a posse of 12-year-olds. They've got guns aimed at the parents right now. 12-year-olds have guns at gunpoint...

Keeping everybody hostage, basically, while this fight is happening. In a quote, nice neighborhood. In a quote, unquote, fancy and nice neighborhood. Okay, so he smashes vodka over Jeff's head and goes, Fight! He throws Jeff back into the living room. Come on, Jeff! Look at me! Jeff glances up, his face riddled with blood. I was the one who got your...

Oh, this is so good. I was the one who got your brother sent to JDC. And now you're just going to sit there and let him rot in there for a whole year? You should be ashamed.

Jeff starts to get up. Oh, finally! You stand and fight! Oh, finally! You stand and fight! Jeff is now to his feet, blood and vodka on his face. Once again, he gets that strange feeling. He gets that... I got a feeling! Oh my gosh!

The feeling keeps showing up. Once again, he gets that strange feeling. The one in which he hasn't felt for a while. I thought he was feeling it that day. He's felt it continuously for a fucking week now. Finally, he's up. In my head, Randy sounds like Vegeta. Finally, he's up. Finally, he's up, says Randy as he runs at Jeff.

That's when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed. All rational thinking is gone. All he can do is kill. He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. What? Yeah. Whoa. He like...

The punch causes Randy's heart to stop? No! No way! This 13-year-old just punched a 12-year-old's heart into his chest. He punches him in the chest? He one-punched him? Gives him the fucking five-finger death punch from Kill Bill. Strongest 13-year-old ever.

He literally punched him. I was joking about this being like a Dragon Ball fight. This is actually a Dragon Ball fight. Like he's on the ground getting kicked. It's the scene with the camera zooming in like, come on! And you can hear like the guitar and he's like powering up. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

The punch causes Randy's heart to stop As Randy gasps for breath Jeff hammers down on him I thought he was already dead Punch after punch Blood gushes from Randy's body Until he takes one final breath And dies He punched a child to death

He's also a child? What? He punched a 13-year-old child, punches a 12-year-old child to death. He punches him so hard in the chest that Randy is unable to breathe anymore. Mind you, while this is happening, his friends are pointing guns at him. And everybody at the party, even the adults are watching this. Nobody is breaking up these infants anymore.

Like tussling. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Not one person. Not one person is intervening. I understand there's guns involved, but there's like 40-year-old men watching this like, if only I could do something.

Yeah, like their hands. Especially because now I'm picturing it like an old-timey bank robbing thing. Their hands are up and they're like, don't shoot us, Mr. 12-year-old. The fat kid's eating all of Billy's birthday cake. I'm fat. I'm the fat one. The fat and skinny kid are wearing like pinstripe suits.

Yeah. With the little eye-cuffling old-timey burglar deals. Yep, yep. They've got bowler hats on. Give us all your sweets and all your candy. Which everyone looks at Jeff, the parents and the children, and even Randy's goon friends, Troy and Keith. Goon friends. Yeah, I like to say goon friends. Which Troy and Keith proceed to shoot at Jeff in the small house, and they miss every shot. All right? Yeah.

And Jeff runs away until he gets into the bathroom in which he rips a towel rack off the wall. And Troy and Keith make their way up there. They fire some more shots, miss again. And basically Jeff just beats Troy's face in until Troy is like, I don't know if he's lifeless, but he falls to the ground hard. And immediately Heath grabs and like starts choking Jeff. And he pushes, pushes Jeff into a wall and which a, like a container of bleach falls.

plops over and it starts covering jeff's face and body jeff takes the towel rack beats the living hell out of keith until keith is basically dying on the floor and keith uh as he's laying there dying cracks a big smile and jeff says what's so funny keith pulled out a lighter and switched it on what's funny he said is that you're covered in bleach and alcohol

Jeff's eyes widened and Keith threw the lighter at him. As soon as the flame made contact with him, the flames ignited the alcohol in the vodka. While the alcohol burned him, the bleach bleached his skin. The bleach bleached his skin. Jeff let out a terrible screech as he caught on fire. He tried to roll out...

He tried to roll out of the fire, but it was no use. The alcohol had made him a walking inferno. He ran down the hall and fell down the stairs. Everybody started screaming as they saw Jeff, now a man on fire, drop to the ground nearly dead. The last thing Jeff saw was his mother and the other parents trying to extinguish the flame. That's when he passed out.

So basically, Jeff gets fucking lit on fire like a goddamn, you know, fireball. Rolls downstairs. No one, like, tries to pat him out. They are watching this child. Like, rolling on the ground. They're just like, oh, my God.

Jeff, you're on fire! While they're all wearing their evening ballroom gowns and stuff. Yeah, their great Gatsby party outfits for some reason. They're all probably fucking smashed. First off, that's one thing I was like, okay. They're trying to elude with the vodka thing. Is that everybody at the party is like, no way!

someone help and they're all just they're all just hammered yeah yeah oh you'd have to imagine which jeff wakes up in the hospital his face is wrapped in gauze in a cast and he has also has a cast on his shoulder and stitchings all over his body yeah presumably from getting stabbed you know rolling down not to mention like the to keep to keep track of everything the story just went

three kids show up at an unrelated kid's birthday party. Billy, the poor victim whose birthday I'm sure was ruined. Yeah, I don't think that that was a happy ending to that birthday party. Yeah, and then all the parents of the neighborhood in their, like you said, their great Gatsby clothes just watch as a fight breaks out and Jeff kills three children. And then he gets set on fire and it says before he passes out they're just looking at him. Yeah.

We are presumably thinking that, yes, the adults did nothing to stop the death of four children at this party, which the death of the four children also was no accident. It was a full-on fight that broke out in the house. Yes, two of the kids did have guns pointing at their parents, but how could they have let this happen? It's like...

It's a child. They are a fat child and a skinny child. You can tackle them. I don't care. Yeah, one of them is wheezing. Yeah, one of them is wheezing, like can't really control his breath because he's so fat. The other one can barely open his eyes. He's a genetic abomination. It's like a pug and a bulldog having a gun is what it feels like. All right. Hey, let's keep in mind a nice neighborhood.

It is a quote-unquote fancy neighborhood. Let's also not forget that it's a quote-unquote fancy neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. All right? Which I always... Every time I read that, I'm like... It reminds me... It makes me think of like...

like the Desperate Housewives neighborhood or something like that. Super upper middle class, like big suburbia kind of thing. But from the events that happened, it's a war zone. From the events that happened, it is, yeah, a literal war zone. So I don't know. I can't tell if – also, what is his definition of fancy? Is it actually – is it just like barely better? Is he just now not living in an apartment? We don't know. No.

Not enough is given. But we do know that it is quote-unquote fancy. It is fancy. All right? And if that is one thing to take away from this thing, it is quote-unquote fancy. It is fancy. Which I'm going to say from now on, our podcast is quote-unquote fancy. This is a quote-unquote fancy podcast. Yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, just like the story, who's going to fight us on it? Like we said so. So this is a fancy podcast. This is a respectable podcast. This is a respectful podcast.

And it's definitely a high society podcast. I have a feeling that I felt – well, I had a feeling that I felt earlier today that this was a quote-unquote fancy podcast, and I did feel that when I felt it earlier today and when I had that feeling. So I knew that that was what I was going to do. And I did have a feeling too that a gang of 12-year-olds were going to come and beat the shit out of me and shoot me in the back of the head with their guns. You felt a – Because that's the feeling I had. You felt a feeling of a fancy feeling podcast feeling earlier today?

I did have a fancy feeling. I had a fancy feeling that this would be a fancy podcast that I felt earlier today when I had that feeling. So that's where we ended up. That's a fancy feeling. It is a pretty fancy feeling, and I'm going to digress by taking that feeling and putting in this feeling that I need to read more of this story. Which is, Jeff is in his...

Yes, go ahead. Just looking at this. All right. So yes, yes, yes. Jeff's in the hospital. Right. And then he starts to come to in the hospital bed. Did you know he's now murdered three people? Yes, that is true. He's 13. He's basically killed one child twice, which is pretty funny. Yeah. After hours of sitting alone, he finally heard his mother.

Honey, are you okay? She asked. Jeff couldn't answer, though. His face was covered. Can I pause for a second? I just realized the wording on that. Can I pause for a second? Okay.

Honey, are you okay? She asked. This woman saw her son fight off three other people that were trying to kill him, and he had bleach all over him and was in a ball of literal fire, rolled down steps, and basically died at her feet. And the first thing she says to her now conscious, I don't know how, miracle child is, Honey, are you okay? Mom, no. I could be a lot better. All right? This is the worst mom that ever lived.

She sold her son out to the cops. She makes Jeff wear the stupid outfit. Doesn't help him. And then is like, are you okay? This mom is checking out immediately. This is a mom who does not want to be a mom at all. Sold her son out. And if anything, she's upset that Jeff is still alive, I bet. Is what I'm looking at. She's like, I was so close to being free. To having my 20s back. To being free.

Oh, absolutely. Oh my gosh, bro. That was so funny. Honey, are you okay? You're like, can I pause? So she asked, honey, are you okay? He was unable to speak. Oh, honey, I have great news.

I don't want to hear anything she has to say. Oh, honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Randy confessed to trying to attack you, they decided to let Lou go. That's not... None of this is how police work. None of this is how any of it works. No. Oh, that turns out that cop throwing the child into jail for a year, incredibly unconstitutional. Like, they ate him up for that. Yeah.

I also would have no sympathy for my mom where it's like, oh, honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Randy confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let Lou go. It's like, dude, didn't we already tell you that this guy came at us with knives? And it took you guys to be held at gunpoint to even give a shit about this? Like, okay, well, now we believe you. It's like, yeah, I told you that yesterday. Yeah.

When you probably found his body, you probably found a bunch of knives on him. Now that you're in a hospital bed, it's reasonable. Okay. It wasn't before, but it's reasonable now. Yeah. And also I love that. It says, uh, it says, uh, she says, uh,

He'll be out by tomorrow and you two will be able to get to be together again. I like how they're just like, well, we got to keep you for another day. We know you're free with the crimes, but we're going to have to hold you for another day. We'll let you go tomorrow. All right. So get back in your cell. We're going to lock that up. Okay. You're a free man. Well,

Way to go, Lou. You're a free man. Yeah, like, looking at a nine-year-old, like, looks like your time is up. I hope this institution, like, he's just... Yeah, I hope this has rehabilitated you to go back into normal society, Lou. He, like, has his billy club, and he's, like, hitting it on the bars or whatever. Yeah.

Sleep tight, Lou. We'll catch you tomorrow. You know what a nine-year-old looks like. Like how young we're talking. I know the story doesn't say nine, but it says he's younger than 13. I mean, it looks like a baby. Yeah, it's like a baby, right? Like a long baby. Just throw him in there. That monster. That animal.

his bunkmate is a 19 or is like an 18 year old or like it's a 16 year old kid that fucking like skinned his parents alive alright you two be sure to not be too crazy not sleep tight Lou you're a free man tomorrow

Don't go eating his face tonight, Greg. You know what, Lou? Shame on you for stabbing that self-respecting 12-year-old with open access to firearms and a racketeering thing going around the block in our fancy neighborhood. Shame on you for hurting that guy.

I just want you to know that this is a quote-unquote fancy neighborhood, and you went ahead and ruined it, Lou. I hope you burn in hell. I love the idea of a cop telling a nine-year-old to burn in hell. It's just a very funny thing to me. I hope you burn in hell, Lou.

Look here, boy. In this fancy neighborhood, we got feelings, all right? And these feelings are very important feelings. And when a feeling comes along to mess up those feelings, well, we don't take too kindly to that. We don't take too kindly to that. Your brother gets it, but you're having a hard time wrapping around your stupid little head, Lou. Idiot! They don't get it! They don't get it. Lock them up. You know what? You're not going free tomorrow. Never mind. It's just a prison full of children.

literal children it's like it's like willie wonka's this is this is the security system of willie wonka's just tons of kids you wanted the chocolate but you broke all the rules it's like it's like randy has the police paid off he's like yeah he's like he gives us a good share he's got like all these people yeah i wonder how much randy was making a year

How much he made every fiscal year. Probably a whole $37 if he was robbing 10-year-olds for money. Yeah, I was going to say, how much really are people taking to lunch? But in this story, the way that this is written, those 10-year-olds probably have a 401k, so I don't know. That is true. It is a fancy neighborhood. It is a very fancy neighborhood. Alright, so I'll continue.

So they decided to let Lou go. This made Jeff almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering the tube coming out of his arm. He'll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again. Jeff's mother hugs Jeff and says her goodbyes. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. His mom, his mom left him? What? Yes, yeah, just said the story. I have the story pulled up to compare against notes to make sure we're right. Yeah, she just leaves. Oh, yeah.

She's like, you guys will be together tomorrow. I'll talk to you later, burn victim. Bye, son. I know you're probably in tons of pain, but mommy has to go home. She needs to drink. It says the next couple of weeks were those where Jeff was visited by his family. They visited?

They didn't stay at the hospital? They did not stay at the hospital, which also just goes to show how unsympathetic his mom is. His mom doesn't even stay. She doesn't even care. She's just like, he's in the hospital. He's fine. When you go home, I want you to sleep in my bed. Oh my gosh. Just a big boy. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? This story feels like it was written by someone who really...

hated their mom. Like I was a fan of My Chemical Romance growing up, but it feels like it was written by like the quote unquote fan of My Chemical Romance. Like mom's stupid. I hate her. Us 12 year olds, we kill each other all the time. You know, that's the vibe I'm feeling. Yeah, I was going to say it feels very comparable to like an Ari Aster thing. Ari Aster has some serious mommy issues too. And it feels like this is definitely somebody who was having...

Having a rough time with their mom. A little rough pumpkin patch with their mom, for sure. You know what? I promise you, you're the first person in the world to compare Jeff the Killer to Ari Aster. I'm sure of it. Both that influential. Equally important works. Equally important works. Yeah. Hereditary. When people speak hereditary, they're really speaking Jeff the Killer. They're talking about Jeff the Killer. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. So...

I see here, Hunter, that you left a note saying LOL about let's hope for the best. Yeah. Well, it's finally week's packs. Jeff's bandages are able to be taken off. And the doctor taking the bandage off literally says, quote unquote, let's hope for the best. That's what the doctor says when taking off the bandages. I thought that was hilarious.

It's like a burn victim. Imagine how disgusting that would feel. You're a burn victim from some kind of thing. And as the doctor's taking off, he's like, let's hope for the best. Hopefully there's not a monster under here. You know what I mean? Why would you say that? I just thought that was really funny. All right, so here's what we're going to do here. This section, I'm going to narrate, but I need you to do the Jeff lines, okay? Okay. All right, here we go. Ready? So, finally, the bandages are removed and Jeff's transformation begins.

Jeff's mother screams at the sight of his face. Lou and Jeff's dad stare awestruck at his face. What? What happened to my face? Jeff said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His face. It. It's horrible. His lips were burnt to a deep shade of red. His face was turned into a pure white color and his hair singed from brown to black.

He slowly put his hand to his face. It had a sort of leathery feel to it now. He looked back at his family, then back at the mirror. Jeff, said Lou, it's not that bad. Not that bad? It's perfect! His family were equally surprised. Jeff started laughing uncontrollably. His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching. Uh, Jeff? No!

Jeff, are you okay? Okay? I've never felt more happy. Look at this face. It goes perfectly with me. He couldn't stop laughing. He stroked his face, feeling it, looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jeff... The story...

is how it's written well you may recall that when jeff was fighting randy something in his mind his sanity snapped now he was left as a crazy killing machine that is his parents didn't know doctor said jeff's mom is my son all right you know in the head

Oh, yeah. I love that the doctor says this. He's like, oh, yes. This behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of painkillers. If his behavior doesn't change in a few weeks, bring him back here and we'll give him a psychological test.

What? What? Every part of that paragraph is absolutely insane. The idea of Jeff getting burns on his face, laughing, loving his face. That's so good. The, uh, Jeff. Uh, Jeff? Are you alright? It's the equivalent of the whole, uh, guys, you're gonna wanna see this. Uh, guys, he's right behind me. He's right behind me.

I do like after the psychological test thing, the mother says, oh, thank you, doctor. Jeff's mother went over to Jeff. Jeff, sweetie, it's time to go. Jeff looks away from the mirror. His face still formed in a crazy smile. And he says this. Hey, mommy. His mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes. Which now it's like I don't understand the psychological thing because he's like, hey, mommy. And he says mommy a lot now.

it's like it's like a weird like i understand he's going insane but i wondered is it also part of it supposed to be like did he de-age a bit more or something or hunter hunter hunter it's his feeling it's

That is the feeling. Okay, that's right. I forgot. That is the feeling he's feeling. Also, what you just said is his mental condition causing him to relapse in age regression. You are three layers too deep for this story. That is absolutely true. I don't know why. The reason he says mommy is because mommy sounds creepier. That's literally it.

that's true i'm grasping desperately for straws to make sense of this you're like perhaps his age is like falling back to a point of familiarity it's like bro perhaps it is a little more in depth than i appear to you know maybe i think it's playing us for a ruse yeah uh no you're definitely right it's just because it's like oh wow it's weird exactly that is the creepy feeling he's feeling um

This is what came in, said the lady at the desk. Jeff's mom looked down to see the black dress pants and the white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and outstitched together. Jeff's mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their final day of life. So...

This is... Which also, by the... We're like almost... I would say we're pretty close to the end of the story here. What's weird is that the horror aspect... This, to let you know, typically...

This is the setup of a story, and we're already to the finale. Because now we're setting up that this... Everything that's happened so far is the setup to our monster, which is in turn going to set us off in this tale of what this character is. But instead, the setup is the legitimate story until we get the ending here. Which, it wraps up in a nice way, if you want to take the reins again. I would be honored to. So...

Jeff goes home that night and then it's, gosh, late. You know, I'm like genuinely embarrassed right now for being so scared of this story as a child. But with that in mind, later that night, Jeff's mother awakes to the sound of someone crying in the bathroom.

When going to see what it was, she finds Jeff in the bathroom, having carved a smile in his cheeks. It's literally the Heath Ledger thing. I'm telling you. It's literally the Heath Ledger thing. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. If this came out around the same time as 2008, it's impossible that that was not correlated. It has to be from the Dark Knight. It has to be. It has to be. There's no way. All right. Would you like to continue being Jeff, by the way? Yeah, I'll keep being Jeff. Because you're too good at it to not. All right.

"Jeff, what are you doing?" asked his mother. Jeff looked over to his mother. "I couldn't keep smiling. Mommy, it hurt after a while. Now, I can smile forever." Jeff's mother noticed his eyes ringed in black. "Jeff, your eyes!" His eyes were seemingly never closing.

I couldn't see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself, my new face. Jeff's mother slowly started to back away, seeing that her son was going insane. What's wrong, mommy? Aren't I beautiful?

is what I say to that. I throw my boo at you. I hate that. What's wrong, mommy? Aren't I beautiful? Yeah. Literally, that reads like, why so serious? Does it not? It has the same kind of cadence to it.

It's like you can already see in the writer's mind this character being drawn on DeviantArt with Aren't I Beautiful written behind him. Oh, absolutely. This was going through their heads. Absolutely, yes. Which I'm sure there's a bajillion of those. From what I've seen, a lot of the fan art and stuff, all of the people just put the go to sleep at the beginning of the story. That's the go-to, yeah.

Man, so Jeff, he has a feeling. We've established that. We've established the feeling. We've established the feeling. That makes him want to kill people. He gets an excuse to kill people. And then after getting his face burned, decides to also carve his mouth open. And then also burn out his eyelids so he can look at his mouth.

Um, and now he, now that he has the feeling, the feeling's not going to stop feeling. So he has to keep killing people. So you, it's pretty apparent that the person who wrote this story saw the image of Jeff, the killer, and then just wrote a backstory to that image.

100% yeah 100% like without without a doubt which we're about to wrap let's wrap up the story like finish it and we can discuss more of it because I do have a bunch of thoughts about it but yeah we're right at the we're right at the tail end all right all right uh I'll continue I'll continue all right now fully realizing her son has gone completely insane Jeff's mom says she's going to go get his dad to show him how good Jeff looks

The mom quickly goes to her room and wakes up her husband, prompting him to get his gun.

Jeff's gone fucking insane. Get your gun. He's going to kill us. I love that. This mother does not... That's another thing, too, that you can tell that this is written by a very young person because there's no maternal or parental instincts at all with how the parents are acting. It feels like a Goosebumps book almost where it's completely void of any personality, any emotion. It's just like the kid is the complete centerpiece of it, which is fine, but it's like...

I'll get into it later, but it's very funny. You can just tell that this is written by somebody who has no life experience in that realm. Right, exactly. And also, let's keep track of the mom through this story. Tells her kids to get over their feelings. Doesn't believe them when they said they were attacked. Lets her youngest son go to jail. Doesn't do anything while she watches her older son...

nearly killed and then kills three other people and goes on fire. Goes to a party. Yeah. Goes to a party dressed like a Met Gala. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Gets drunk at a party. And then doesn't stay with her son in the hospital. The only thing she does is scream at him when his bandages come off. And now when she finds him laughing clearly mentally distraught in the middle of the night. She's gonna put him down. She goes to her husband and says get the gun. Yeah.

Yeah, she's just like, this old hound dog needs to be put down. Peter, put him down! It's that, what's that thing from Omni-Man? I can always start over. Make another kid. That is some serious Omni-Man energy. What's 17 years? Never mind, the Jeff the Killer writer is way ahead of his time. Definitely, yeah. Alright, never mind. It's in the clear now. Alright, so...

She sees Jeff in the doorway, overheard what his mom said to his dad, in which Jeff says, Mommy, you lied. Jeff proceeds to gut both of them. And then from here, I'm going to read out the last paragraph of the story, okay? Yes. His brother Lou woke up, startled by some noise. He didn't hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

As he was on the border of slumber, he got the strangest feeling. Oh, no. He got the strangest feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up before Jeff's hand covered his mouth. He slowly raised the knife, ready to plunge it into Lou. Lou thrashed here and there, trying to escape Jeff's grip. If you would like to do the honors. Yeah, just go to sleep.

And there we have it. That's the story of Jeff the Killer. That's the ending. That is the legitimate ending to Jeff the Killer, which I want to slightly give some thoughts here. Because once again, I said at the beginning I was going to preface that the news article at the beginning, I was going to come back to it. And this is what I thought. I legitimately thought that it was going to circle back to the news article and that Jeff was going to – that this was Randy's kid.

And that Randy was the guy who... And that's why he also threw the knife in his shoulder. Because Randy stabbed Jeff in the shoulder. There's a lot of shoulder stabbing in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is. So I thought it was Jeff getting revenge in a weird way and maybe going to abduct or murder Randy's kid or something for having... Or even...

Troy or Keith trying to get his revenge in some weird way, but that never comes back. There's so many like loose ends in this where it could have gone in a lot of different places. It's, it's very, very vanilla, very, uh,

you know, same Z, you know, a lot of cliches that come, but I thought I was like, Oh, that'd be a fun way to like full circle it. You know what I mean? If it goes back that like Randy's connected to the murder from the police report at the beginning, but no, it's just, it's just, he's killing people and then it goes back and then it's like, yeah. And he killed people before too. That's it. Yeah. And you know, I think that there's, there's ways to do, um,

serial killer kind of stuff where... Kind of like a... The best example of that is probably Michael Myers where it's just the horror is... It's just that he's a killing machine. That there is no justifiable reason. He's just a monster. That's fine. But...

But the thing about Michael, at least, you know, before they ruined it with like prequels and stuff like that, is that he's a very mysterious figure. You just get like a little blurb from him as a kid being kind of insane. And then now he's like escaped this psych ward and he's like out and about. The reason that Jeff, it's weird is that we start, we're trying to sympathize with him as a normal character and,

And then we're getting all of these feelings. And the problem with having all these feelings and the meme of the feeling is that we never understand what it is. It's never blatantly kind of said, like, what is it? I think it's trying to be the idea that he has some kind of bloodlust. But the problem with that is that every time he's ever attacked somebody, the story, it was self-defense.

It was justifiable every time. Yep. He only fights people who try to kill him beforehand. So I thought to myself, when I was reading it, I was like, okay, so he has this feeling of wanting to hurt somebody. So the first time he does it, it's an interesting way to maybe set up that the first time that you indulge yourself on these psychotic breaks is...

in self-defense. So in a way, even people around you are like, you had to do it. You know, it was self-defense. You had to do it. But no, it's like he's punished for it, but then he also defends himself again. And I thought it would be people give light and like make a positive out of him defending himself. Like if anything, if you're going to go cliche with it, have the dad be like,

You know, that's my boy, you know, beating his ass, whatever. You really gave it to him good, whatever, right? Yeah, yeah. The masculine dad who's really, like, supportive of, you know, you're not a pussy. Violence or something. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. So then it's like he's rewarded for it until it goes too far to the point where, okay, well, now he's, like, he's at the party and maybe he, like, hurts one of the kids or something like that. And then you have a slow deterioration of his character, but that never comes. It's just like, okay, he...

defended himself both times in justifiable ways. And then because he's a burn victim, we're supposed to just believe that he had a psychotic break, which once again, that could possibly work, but it's just so, it's so quick. Like the ending is so abruptly quick and that's where all the interesting stuff happens. And it's so like, even the way that they describe like the killing, which you don't have to go in depth. And, uh, I know I'm rambling by the way, I apologize. No, this is, this is good. This is good. I'm enjoying it. But the, the,

You don't have to go in depth with really schlocky...

really describing the disembowelment and stuff, but I really didn't like how at the end it's just like he guts his parents and that's supposed to be if they're supposed to be emotional way to that I think that you have to put as much emphasis as you did into describing the nonsensical fights as you would is like putting emotional depth behind somebody by a kid going psychotic and killing his birth parents and

But that also doesn't work because his parents are like very unlikable. There's no real trace that they actually care about Jeff at all. Actually, it seems they actively hate him. Yeah. If they actively hate him, then I almost wish that like that would have been dived in more too. Like it would have been more cathartic for him to kill his parents. That would have been an interesting serial killer creation if, yeah, like the parents maybe had like a hand in that. That maybe their hating of him pushed him that way.

And the whole time, too, is that Jeff, the entire story is guilt ridden. Right. By his brother being arrested for his crimes.

But he just kind of nonchalantly kills him at the end, which even if you're psychotic, I think it does a disservice to not have any kind of emotional resentment. Like, if anything, could it not have been like, hey, I killed them. You know, we can be free now or something like that. And then that's when Lou could, like, challenge him into where...

Jeff is like, okay, well, I thought you were on my side. Fuck you. And then he kills him. But it feels like you have all this emotional tie-ins and all this buildup to not have it pay off at all. Like, it's just like, oh, I'm psycho and I killed him. Yeah, yeah. There's no weight to it. There's no emotional depth to it. There's no connection that the viewer or the, I mean, the reader can have. It's just kind of nonchalant and it's creepy. It's just supposed to be like, and this is what I feel like is creepy. But I think horror...

Horror itself is very cheesy.

Like, it's a very cheesy thing. It's fun. But a lot of the best horror is wrapped around great narratives. And it's highlighted through these kind of crazy, eccentric things. Because you can do the Joker smile thing, you know? You can have that be in there and not have it be so cheesy and stuff. Or even if it is, it can still be fun. But the way that this thing wraps up, it feels just so cheap. There's no real story or connection that we're trying to feel. There's no kind of, like,

character development or growth there's nothing really that i'm supposed to be fighting for the desperation of jeff killing his parents holds no weight because there's nothing that's been established that i should care about this which um it's kind of the biggest detriment to it but it's interesting how captivating this story has been to people which for 2008 it probably was something where you're like oh shit you know you read it and you're like oh god

But I don't know. I mean this is my first time ever reading it for this podcast. Once again, I've seen that picture a billion times probably. But I had never read the story. I've even heard Jeff the Killer before, but I've never actually read it. Yeah. It's so fascinating.

It's so impactful to internet culture. Like when people think creepypastas, they think Jeff the Killer and Slenderman. Like that's the two. It was so impactful. And looking back on it, I'm so upset that it scared me as much as it did. Like this, this was like the best we had to offer. And like there were really good creepypastas. Some great stuff came out of that time period. And we'll talk about some in future episodes. But man, this was not one of those. Yeah.

No, no. It feels like very amateurish. I mean, there's a note up top here. I don't know what the site is for this, so apologies for not having the direct site. But it seems like the original Creepypasta is credited to the user GameFuelTV and was actually removed from several Creepypasta sites because of its perceived low quality. So I think even back then some people were. Yeah, I think I remember hearing something about that. Yeah, yeah.

It's very cheesy. It's interesting, though. I do wonder the philosophy of some of the things of like people, I think, desperately reach for reasons to feel scared and to feel like they have like a fun story. And I think if anything, this just shows how.

people are into wanting to consume that kind of media. Because Jeff the Killer is definitely not the first one, but it's one of the most infamous. And I think it just goes to show, too, what a single image of something can do. It's very much like when we were talking about Ted the Caver. Having just those little images in there goes such a long way. Yeah, yeah. Of putting yourself in that thing. And even having this blown-out meme image of Jeff the Killer. I mean, as a kid, it would be terrifying. I mean, it is a creepy image. Now it's horribly dated. I mean, it's like...

You know, it is what it is. But back then, if I saw this on a Razer flip phone, it would fuck me up. I was like, sure, the story didn't help me, young me being afraid, but it was really the image that did it. Like I saw that image. I imagine, I remember falling asleep at night thinking of that face in the corner of my room, especially because like the...

the modus operandi, so to speak, of Jeff the Killer is that he like hides in your room at night while you're asleep and waits for you to wake up to kill you. So things like that would play out in my mind when I was afraid at night. So that's really what did it. The story, like, I thought was scary-ish, but it's the face that does the heavy lifting. Culturally too, I think. Because after this, Jeff the Killer found his way... I remember reading dozens of creepypastas that were either completely unrelated to him...

And then he'd just show up. Or like...

people would write these almost fan fiction creepypastas about like Jeff, the killer interacting with eyelash Jack or laughing Jack or the slender man or, you know, stuff like that. Like they would all stick around each other. Um, so I remember the character kind of becoming his own thing, but it was all very fanfic. Like I can, I can't think, I'm sure they're out there, but I can't think of a good story involving Jeff. Sadly.

Not like the character has a lot to work off of anyway, other than being a creepy face. But yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the interesting thing, even with like, uh, even something. Cause I mean, you know, Slender Man, I mean, anything that becomes extremely pop culture, I feel like has looked on as being cheap or whatever, but even with something like Slender Man, just the idea is much more realized, I think in terms of like, kind of like a Pied Piper feel of like this thing, it wants to come out and abduct children, basically like,

take them away into this interdimensional place whatever there's a lot more to go Jeff it's just once you hear that it's just simply a burn a 13 year old burn victim who for some reason is like super strong sometimes like he can one punch someone but other times a child can just kick him off right yeah and that's the thing too is like

If a 10-year-old child can just kick him off, it's like, what kind of threat does he really pose? Well, when he wants to, he can one-punch stop a heart, right? His power level is all over the place. He can fight for a death punch a heart. He can snap a man's wrist very easily. All that stuff, which is, you know, that's fun. But it goes into – there's times when being ambiguous is extremely helpful and fun. Sometimes I think that it can also be – it can be a bit of a cop-out.

I think that like if people are too ambiguous with things to me, it's like they're trying to have the reader do too much of the legwork, which I think can happen. But I do think that whenever you over describe these things, you can ruin the mystique of what might make something mysterious or creepy. Like if you would have gotten like little bits of like almost if you imagine this narrative where instead of having the news article, the whole perspective or the whole story was like,

a child talking to this person in his room or something one night. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. And it's like Jeff, he's like trying to pride poke Jeff until inevitably Jeff is like giving him maybe an ultimatum of like killing him or letting him go or whatever and the kid is trying to buy time and you put some like actual respect into like a child character of having the hindsight to try and

you know, survive in some kind of weird way. Then it becomes more disjointed. And if you are going through the Heath Ledger Joker vibe, the best thing about that character is that he's lying the entire time. He changes up his story about how he got his scars numerous times in the story. And the whole thing is that he's not going to tell you

the truth about it, right? If someone's truly psychotic, why would they actually indulge you into an actual story? So it'd be kind of... I think that there's a way that this could work and be interesting. I don't mind the idea of it being set in this scene of this smiling face kind of hiding in the shadow, talking to you and stuff, and maybe like...

it doesn't want to be disturbed. And the kid is trying to keep his parents out because he knows that if the parents come in, they could be killed by this creature. So there's, I mean, I don't know. The influence is there. It's very schlocky and fun. It's such a small read too, where it's like, if you guys are looking for something kind of funny to digest, that isn't such a big Herculean,

piece of literature it's a very easy read and there's even like there's a great um i wanted to give a shout out to because i read it i read the uh story but i also listened to a to a rendition of it let me see i just want to pull up the name really quick i think mr creepypasta was where i heard this story for the first time pretty sure i listened to that back in the day or i i listened to chilling tales for dark nights that's what it was

And they do a great rendition of it, and they have, like, sound effects and stuff. So shout out them and Mr. Creepypasta as well. So really fun stuff. I think the story is pretty fun to digest, too, in these audio formats where people put in voice acting in it and the sound effects. So it is overall very cheesy, but I would say a very swell time. Good old Jeff the Killer, dude.

Nothing like some Joker scars. What a weird banger to go back and look at it. Yeah, I think what you're saying about anonymity is correct. Like, if the story... Or ambiguity, I mean. If the story had remained just the face, it would remain more unexplainable and creepy in hindsight. But because we have all that, it's like, okay. This is a bit try-hard. It feels a little bit try-hard, and I think it feels a bit... It just feels dated. It just feels very dated and very, like...

It's hard not to immediately be able to call the bullshit on it because it just feels so, I mean, just so aggrieved. I mean, there's so many people coming out right now that write so many great things like,

you know, I mean, Cain pixels, right. I mean, and also, and also like if this story was like a project, someone did to try to get better at writing when they were in middle school or whatever, then, you know, I'm sure they're developing to a fantastic writer now. And I'm sure they would probably say the same thing looking back. Like, yeah, this was, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, with anybody in their work. And I think as a last thought for me at least is this just goes to show too that you don't have to be the best writer in the world to captivate people. If there's any people that are like, oh, I'd love to write something, but I'm too nervous to do something. Sometimes you just have to simply just write something and allow the scrutiny to hit you. And sometimes you might be surprised by being like, holy shit.

This thing really took off, whatever. You don't have to be a master to tap into some of the core ideas that people like and to the imagination of people that they like, too. Best advice is always make the video or write the story. For sure. For sure. Always. Every time. Don't snooze. You lose. It's the whole deal. So, yeah. I mean, do you got any other thoughts or what are you thinking? I think we about covered everything, didn't we? I would say. I think we did. I think Jeff the Killer is a...

What a timeless classic of internet depravity, of internet culture. You've got to love it. I think that it's going to be something that stands with us. After we're long gone, there's going to be people still reading Jeff the Killer, laughing and giggling, wondering about some of these lines. And I think that that's so charming. I love it.

And I think that on a closing note, too, if you have any suggestions of future, we've gotten a lot of comments about people asking about stories and stuff like that. And I did see one comment that I thought was interesting. Actually, it was a series of comments, but people saying that if we do know the subjects, we're getting ready to get a Twitter set up to where

We're going to probably prompt people what the episode is going to be so you can read the story as well before the episode. So you're a little more informed. That was a nice, helpful comment. All the comments have been amazing. We guys, you know, all the love we've gotten on the first episode has been beautiful.

beautiful beautiful yeah and i and i think too like uh like i said we want to cover a lot of classic horror stories we'll look at some of the best ones some of the inspiring ones but we're talking about impact jeff the killer is one of the biggest so we had to cover it and if we're going to cover it then we have to rag on it it's just how it works yeah we're gonna we're gonna have some goofs it has nothing but respect in our heart you know what you know let's do this but my god let's do this hunter say what and it can't be the face say one positive thing about that story

Now, are you talking about... Is it any general positivity? Are you talking about actual constructive positivity? Because there's a lot of positivity when it comes to... Like, tell me something you liked about it. Funny. Unintentional funny. Like, tell me something you liked about it. Intentionally. Intentional that you liked about it. Intentionally. I'm trying to actually... I'm trying to be completely honest. I'm legitimately thinking. I'm legitimately thinking. I think that... I mean, I like the...

I guess I like the setup with the news broadcast at the beginning, even though it doesn't go anywhere. I still enjoy it. I enjoyed that little blurb. I like the idea of starting that the narrative we're listening to is past tense versus present tense. So that's kind of an interesting display of structure. Yeah.

Whatever, I'm not saying that it's not on levels of like pulp fiction or anything, but I just mean like... Sure, sure. I like the idea that like this thing is still happening and by the end of the story, it's like that's technically the beginning of this like rising killer, I guess. If I had to think about a positive, that was kind of interesting. That's a positive, I'll take it. Very nice. How about you? I'll say...

Even though we made fun of it, the whole like, oh, he had a feeling feeling, like he got a feeling. That is better. That is better than just doing what most other stories of this caliber would do. And whenever he gets burned at the end, just say his mind snapped then. They did partially foreshadow, even though that was always their intention, even though the story's just to rush to how the face came to be. I like that there was a feeling there.

rather than just after the hospital he just kills everyone because he's crazy because his face is messed up i like yeah that's i like the feeling in other words i like i i yeah

I appreciate the idea that they were like, that there was intention behind it for sure. Like it wasn't just there, there, there was at least a garner of setup for it, which is nice. So it wasn't just like, Oh, his face was messed up. Now he killed his brother. Right. Which also not to immediately leave after we're talking about positives, the fact that everything that happened to him, all of his violence was to protect his brother. Then he just kills him at the end. Like, bro,

That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying is that it doesn't make any sense. Like the idea that the whole time he's so guilt tripped and ridden, which also it makes sense that he kills his parents. And if anything, he like spares his brother at the end. He's like, we're free or whatever. And he's like, Jeff, what did you do? Or, you know, like something like that to where you could have the parents be fucking terrible, but it needs to be more, it needs to be more aligned with the actual narrative and it needs to be set up better. But you know, for him to just get that, if anything, that was, that, that's my, that was my biggest complaint, honestly. Like,

Like, not the cheesy dialogue or whatever else. It's just the sheer fact that he would just blatantly kill his brother and that's the literal finale of it makes no sense. Like, it completely undermines the entire setup structure of this entire story. So, yeah. Yeah, not good, but it has moments. It has moments. And that was Jeff the Killer. It has moments.

That was Jeff the Killer, which I don't know. Do we have any idea of what we're going to be doing next? Do you have any ideas? Well, I feel like – We can leave them on? I kind of wanted to cover like a classic that was bad to kind of, for one, establish to the audience that we might cover stuff like that. But also to keep it varied. So since we've covered like a famous one, a famous like creepypasta thing –

Not creepypasta, like a horror story, Stairs in the Woods. And now we've covered a famous creepypasta and kind of ragged on it a bit. Maybe next time we could pick a personal favorite of ours or something that we legitimately think is a good example of early in a horror. And after we do three...

we'll have like three set about early internet horror. Then I think we can go anywhere we want. We can go to like urban legends around the internet. We'd go to more spooky stuff, whatever you think. But I think doing a personal favorite, maybe a cool third episode. Yeah. We'll have to, we'll have to let people know maybe a little beforehand, which ones we're talking about. But until next time, I think that at least if you don't decide to, uh,

participate in the read along at least it'll be something surprising I'm very curious to see what you choose as well I'm also I think it's a good opportunity to leave a comment below too of what's your favorite internet story I feel like there might be people that are cross pollinating a lot of people with the same opinions of what their favorite stories are so that's going to be exciting to see

but until next time this has been creepcast with beat canyon and windigoon appreciate you guys this has been a lot of fun man this is a ton of fun i'm so happy to see uh the to see this channel this podcast doing as well as it is i'm really blown away by it uh are we not we're now on spotify as well right

yes we should be on spotify spotify so i saw some people talking about that too yeah no we are on spot we should probably put something at the beginning of the video like the little spotify logo or whatever just to let people know uh but like for those who are interested you can go check us out on spotify so but just to see people enjoy the show uh on any platform and like comment leave constructive criticism stuff like that it really does mean the world it's fantastic so i i'm so stoked i'm excited to keep going and thank you all so much for watching

means the most appreciate you guys hugs and kisses hugs and kisses bye bye see you in the next one