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State Farm and DJ Dramos from Life as a Gringo. No making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow. Now we have a level of privilege that our parents never had. So what do we do with it, right? How do we utilize the opportunities that we have that they don't, right? And a lot of that is educating ourselves, educating ourselves on how to not make the same mistakes they did. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of My Cultura Podcast Network.
Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. What's going on, Jake Paulers? Welcome back to the Broski Report, starring me, Brittany Broski, the host of the Broski Report. Brittany Broski is me. That's me. I'm my channel. That's gonna be me on my channel. I'm on the Broski Report. I'm talking about Brittany Broski. Ew, my throat. Hey, guys.
How are we feeling on this beautiful summer day? Happy summer, team. Happy summer solstice. What the fuck is a solstice, okay? What is an equinox? What is a solstice? What is an eclipse other than the third book in the Twilight series? I don't know what any of those terms mean. I'm gonna look up what a solstice is. Solstice. Solstice. Definition.
A solstice is an event that occurs when the sun appears- I just, I don't care. I went through a meeting that was like, I actually don't forgive the slightest of a fuck about it. I care less, but I mean it because here we are. My face just got hot. I need to practice honesty, okay? Being so totally honest. When I don't care about something, I'm just gonna come out and say it. When I'm bored, I'm bored.
If I'm talking to someone and they're fucking boring me, especially a man, I'm gonna be like, I'm bored. Can you talk about something else? You're fucking boring. Anyway, I still don't know what it's called. A solstice. All right. An event that occurs when the sun appears to reach its most northerly or southerly excursion. That's not a real word. Northerly or southerly excursion.
relative to the celestial equator on the celestial sphere. Now y'all are just fucking making things up to piss me off. The time or date twice a year at which the sun reaches its maximum or minimum declination. What does that mean? Marked by the longest and shortest days, June 21st and December 22nd. The longest, so the summer solstice is at the longest day, like the sun is around for the longest. What the fuck is a declination?
The angular deviation of a compass needle from true north. Because the magnetic north pole and the geographic north pole do not coincide? This is making me angry. Really fucking mad, actually. I'm about to start fuming. The angular distance of a point north or south of the celestial equator. I have got to see a picture. Define declination. Summerstulcis... Summerstulcis...
Holy fuck, dude. I've had four cups of Cafe Bustelo today. When are they going to sponsor me? Cafe Bustelo, I'm fucking, just send me a PR package at minimum. I'm going to start snorting the grounds. Next episode, I'm going to open, it's going to open with me with a cereal bowl with Cafe Bustelo coffee grounds in it. And I'm going to eat it with a spoon.
I'm on, I have so much caffeine pumping through my little, little skinny little veins right now. My veins are so skinny because I'm skinny. I'm actually the thinnest woman to be alive. Summer solstice. Holy shit. Holy shit. Summer solstice in the Northern hemisphere. The declination angle is at its maximum and is 23.45 degrees. Spring equinox. What?
Me getting angry at science for 45 minutes straight. Equinox science, not Equinox gem. There are only two times of the year when the Earth's axis is tilted neither toward nor away from the sun. Oh.
resulting in a nearly equal amount of daylight and darkness at all latitudes. These events are referred to as equinoxes. The word equinox is derived from two Latin words, equus, which means equal, and nox, which means night. Actually, lumis and nox are spells from Harry Potter that both light up and darken a room. You fucking idiot.
Equinox side effects? Oh, equox. What the fuck is equox? European medicine agency? What are the risks associated with equox? The most common side effect in horses, which may affect more than one in 10 horses, are ulcers or sores of the lining of the mouth or skin around the mouth. What does that mean?
The equinox has given horses ulcers. We have to put a stop to the equinox. I will shoot down the sun. I will fire a weapon so massive into the sky that I will put an end to the equinox and summer solstices for the rest of time eternal. Broski Nation, we're doing something about that UV index.
I want to be able to go outside and enjoy a nice day in the sun without worrying about getting a mole that is raised or discolored or can cause me cancerous issues in the future. I've already had a few moles removed and it runs in my family. We're constantly getting shit zapped off our bodies. What's it called when they zap it with a liquid nitrogen or whatever it is?
How do you freeze off a mole, a wart? Your child's work to be treated with liquid nitrogen. See, I have had to go to the doctor. I had two on my finger in high school and I, he went in there and it hurts so fucking bad, but they were gone. Liquid nitrogen freezes and destroys both the wart and the small area of normal skin around. Y'all warts are so fucking gross. There's like spores. Oh, actually I'm going to vomit. I actually can't think about that.
that. I'm going to vomit. What is an equinox? Equinox is when it's the earth is upright and a solstice is when the earth, the sun hits the earth at an angle spring equinox in the Northern hemisphere and autumn equinox in the Southern hemisphere winter solstice. Yeah. Put this picture up on the screen. Summer is when summer solstice is when the sun hits the earth from above at an angle and the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere hits
And Southern solstice, summer solstice in the Southern hemisphere. That makes sense. That's why us in Australia have opposite seasons. That makes so much sense now, actually. Wow. Believe scientists. Wow. Women in STEM. That's actually crazy. Anyway, happy summer. Happy summer solstice. I don't know if this episode is going to go up when it's the summer solstice, but wow. Today we are celebrating Isaac Newton. We're celebrating...
Hey, I don't know who else was kicking it during that time. Who were Isaac Newton's? Who was his squad? Isaac Newton friends. He had a close friendship with the Swiss mathematician, Nicholas Fatio de Dulier, who he met in London in 1689. Some of their correspondence has survived. Bestie vibes only. Okay, best friend. Okay, I... Yes, Isaac.
I could run a mile. I don't know why every time before I record a podcast episode, I'm like, you know what? I should overdose on caffeine. You know what? I should pump an IV of liquid Café Bustelo into my fucking blood vessel. Maybe that's what I should do. At your job, do you ever have to deal with a nose roller? How about a snub pulley?
Well, if you're installing a new conveyor belt system, dealing with the different components can sound like you're speaking a foreign language. Luckily, you've got a team ready to help. Grainger's technical product specialists are fluent in maintenance, repair, and operations. So whenever you want to talk shop, just reach out. Call, click Grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done.
Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?
So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes in details. Here's what I actually want to talk about today, which is funny because I was talking about Equinox at the beginning.
I hate the gym, dude. And I just, that's such a loaded statement because I don't mean like, don't you hate the gym? Like I hate when you have to go to the gym. I mean, I hate everything about gym culture. I hate the gym itself. I hate the building. I hate the people that go to it. I hate the concept of going to a gym. I hate the fitness culture around it. I hate being a plus size person and going to the gym. Everything about it, I want to burn them all to the ground. So let's get into it.
Um, first of all, walking into a gym as a person in a big body, there's not a worse feeling by the way. I can't think of a worse feeling than walking in there and immediately feeling like I don't belong here. Especially in fucking LA dude, everyone's in shape. It's like, I, everyone here wants me dead. Everyone here is plotting my imminent death and murder and I need to leave before they actually act on it.
Every time I go to a gym, I get really nervous and I have to shit. Like I just go and poop sweaty, sweaty poop in the public gym bathroom. And I'm like, you know what? I could have saved myself all this and stayed at home and shit my own, the comfort of my own bathroom. Also not to mention the last apartment I lived at, it had a really nice gym. And I went in there twice, twice, the whole two years that I lived there. And the last time I went in there, I cried.
And I had to dissect it in therapy because I was like, hey, what the fuck am I crying for, by the way? It was just like a really triggering experience. I really don't know what caused it. Like it was very, very strange. And I walked in there and I was literally just walking on the treadmill and I put it in a slight incline and I started to, I just started openly sobbing. Thank Christ I was the only person in there.
I was watching Love Island on my iPad, walking on the treadmill and I was just sobbing. It's something, I think it just triggered something really deep of like, I feel like I don't belong in this space. Like, like my body does not belong in this space. And I, and I was alone, which is crazy. Like I just, no one made me feel that way. It was totally self-inflicted. It was so strange. One time I went on a hike with some friends to the Hollywood sign. Like we walked, we hiked up to the Hollywood sign. It was like a two hour hike and
And I got to the top and I started crying. And my friends were like, hey, what the fuck? It's something about physical exertion and like exercise. I feel just so unwelcome in that space because I've never, that's never been my thing. I've never been athletic. I've never been in shape. I've never been healthy in that way. It's just like, I feel so out of place physically.
and self-conscious, but not even about my body, just like almost like fish out of water. Like I'm self-conscious, like everyone here knows that I don't do this. It's so weird. Anyway, yeah, I got to the top of the Hollywood sign and started openly sobbing. Anyway, so let's get into it. I hate the gym because when I'm there, everyone else needs to leave. Okay, like I paid to be here. Can everyone else leave?
I don't need hot men looking at me. That is, oh my God, to add insult to injury, I already don't want to be there. I already feel like an outsider. Now there's going to be hot, sexy men that aren't going to look at me, that are going to watch me struggle, watch me get red in the face because I am so white, I'm pink. Literally, like, I bend down to, if I drop something on the floor, I bend down to get it and I come back up and my face is red. Just any exertion, I turn brighter than a tomato, just red. Everything's dirty.
Just like dirty equipment. So you have to touch other people's like butt juice to like sit and rub and lick on other people's butt juice, dude. Oh, I'm gonna bring my towel. I'm gonna wipe all the equipment down and then use that same towel to wipe my face. You're getting pink eye. Immediately, guess what? I have pink eye. I have double pink eye and somehow I have pink eye in my butthole too. In what universe is it like, yeah, I'm gonna bring this rag to wipe down the equipment.
Wipe it down when you're done. It still has your sweat on it. It just seems so gross and like unsanitary and you smell like metal afterward because all the equipment is metal and the weights are metal and it's just like, ugh. I always have to have diarrhea in the gym bathroom, like always. I think it may be the nerves of just like being there. Like everything I just said, it's like I'm anxious. But then on top of that, it's something about, man, my blood gets pumping. I'm pooping.
all right we're working we're working it out of our system i also just think like what am i walking to a gym and i'm like yeah let's do it and then i do the treadmill and then i walk to another piece of equipment and it's i sit down and i'm like if it's one of these where you grab the bar and you lift it i don't know what muscle that's supposed to be working out like biceps maybe but if it's biceps then shouldn't you curl from the bottom
And then those things where you push it with your leg, I'm going to fucking crack my spine in half. Like, I'm going to walk into a gym one day and someone's just going to find my dead body. I'm going to kill myself by accident. I don't even want to die. I'm just going to, like, use a piece of equipment wrong and it's going to have 350 pounds of weight on it. And I'm just going to snap something and I'm going to die. And then Equinox is going to be like, another death.
Like I am going to kill myself by accident. I have always had that fear that I'm going to do something or I'm going to be there and I'm going to be too prideful to ask somebody for help. Like I'm going to really hurt myself. I just, I have that fear. Yeah. And I just turned red like a, like a crawfish, like a fucking boiled lobster. It's so like, even if no one's like, okay, you go into a gym and
Nine times out of 10, no one's looking at you the way that you think everyone's staring at you, right? Like no one, it's never as bad as you think. But even then, like if I'm on a piece of equipment and I just did, you know, whatever, I did the, the, whatever this is where you pull it down and I'm like, Ooh, good workout, good workout team. And I sit, I get up and I look at the seat and my gooch print on the leather seat. I have to run out of there. That is humiliating.
My gooch print? Someone can... The FBI using gooch prints to identify... Like, I wiped everything down. I wiped all my fingerprints, whatever. But they're like, hmm, this gooch print matches our files. Google, show me this guy's balls, please. On top of the gooch prints, men at the gym scare me, and also, I am horny. Ha!
Men at the gym are the scariest type of men, but also, hey, I'm looking and mama likes what she's seeing. Mama's on the prowl. If you let me loose in a gym when I'm ovulating, sorry, TMI. It's like, it is like a hungry wild animal at a buffet. It's like, if you let me go
off of six white claws into a Vegas buffet. That's similar to me at a gym when I'm ovulating. Stupid! That's really what it feels like. Men scare me and I'm horny. That's the title of my autobiography when it comes out. I also just get bored like you're at the gym. It's so boring.
I can only watch so many TikToks or watch so many TV episodes or like, I've tried to read a book before, like on the treadmill. You just can't. It's so boring. And people are always like, you could do what you do in bed, like read or be on TikTok, but just be at the gym. No! Rather be laying down. And then when I'm laying down in bed at night, I can spiral about my body. It's harder to spiral about your body when you're actively using it. My therapist listening to this like, pfft.
You know, because it's always like 2 a.m. when I'm like, tomorrow's the day I am going to start. I'm going to change my life. I'm going to turn my life around. Hey, never do. Hey, I never do. I get bored. And then also you have to wear a sports bra. Sports bras cut into my shoulder meat. Sports bra, they cut into the meat on my shoulders. Because that's not muscle there. That's just plain meat.
You could cut the meat from my meaty neck and back and shoulders and sell it in lean slabs like ground turkey. Sorry. Hey, gross. But I've said this before. My meat, like if Jeffrey Dahmer were to like buy that meat pack of, oh, pretty brisky meat and then cook it, he'd be like, that's too acidic. Like I drink so much Pepsi and Coke.
and coffee. Like my meat is very vinegary. It tastes like pickles. I know that for a fact. Okay. I know that for an absolute fact. On top of the sport, like just workout athletic clothes. I'll wear every single day. Like my Lululemon shorts are the only thing that let my gooch breathe. Don't chafe me and don't cut into my gut. Like
I wanted to be a girl that was like, you know, stupid. And then I bought my first pair of those like buttery shorts. And I was like, it's not those like really tight Amazon or like any off-brand legging shorts where they're just, it's too thick of a material. And I know that's for a purpose. It's like to soak up sweat or whatever, but like it cuts into my gut and it makes me want to scream.
It's like when your jeans are too tight and you have to drive and even unbuttoning them, they're too tight. It's like, oh, Lululemon, like I get it. Guys, I get it. Okay. The thought of a personal trainer makes me want to cry. Like, don't look at me. Like if I could have a personal trainer that just stood in another room and didn't look at me, but just told me what to do, like I'll do it. That's fine. Like, okay, you're going to do five sets of whatever and I'm just going to go smoke a
bitch. If Katya was my personal trainer, that's my dream scenario. If Katya was like, okay, you're going to do this and you're going to stretch like this and I'll be waiting outside smoking. Period. Okay. That's my dream. That's my dream scenario. I would work out if that were the case. Leave me to my own devices. What does that mean? Leave me to my own devices.
meaning to allow someone to do what he or she wants or is able to do without being controlled or held by anyone often used as be left to one's own devices origin the source of this idiom is french it seems the relevant definition in this case for device the earliest citation for this is the following from 1300 damn
This translates to something like, that he shall rise all at his own device. It is slothful and sluggishness to take penance at thy devices. That's crazy. Ooh, this is in the Bible. Jeremiah 18, 12, King James Version. And they said, there is no hope, but we will walk after our own devices and we will everyone do the imagination of his evil heart.
So what, but what does it, where does it come from? Why did that come to be? The word device comes from the verb devise with an S. To leave someone unsupervised to do whatever they want. What does devise mean? Devise. Plan or invent by careful thought. Plan or invent.
a complex procedure system or mechanism by careful thought so if you leave someone to their own devices it's the outcome of devising that makes sense anyway back to working out sometimes like especially during the pandemic i feel like everyone had this phase where they were like doing the chloe what was her name the the workout girl from youtube like everyone was watching her ab workouts like
90 minute rock hard abs. Like I did it and I was like, oh fuck. Oh fuck. And I guess what? I don't have rock hard abs because I gave up. But I feel like for a second, everyone was doing that. They were like, well, we're all stuck inside. Let's work out. And I did that. And I was so fucking embarrassed. Who up being embarrassed? Hey, smash that fucking light button. If you're in your room being embarrassed by yourself. Like that was literally, I would do it. And I was like, what am I doing?
Sometimes I get this flash of like, it's the office. I'm in the office, but no one else is in the room. And it's just one camera that's kind of through an open doorway, just focusing on me. And I get so embarrassed. Anyway, I'm also just like grossed out by gym culture. Like to really, to wrap it all with a bow. I'm so grossed out by the fitness culture of denying yourself everything.
the basic pleasures of life of like you can't put seasoning on your food because it has extra calories like what are you talking about what are you talking about you guys are fucking weird just plain rice and chicken and broccoli no seasonings hey you need to like have a coke hey sir have a milkshake
Put some like, I don't know, Lowry's seasoned salt on your food from time to time. See if your quality of life improves. It's just like doing all that for what? You're denying yourself eating really good food and maybe sometimes resting and taking a nap and just laying. One of the simple pleasures in life is laying down. And I believe that.
I just don't get it and I think it's also super toxic to be like you need to wake up at 4am, you need to do this, you need to do that and and you can't do this and whatever. It's like humans aren't meant to be to do that. I think Europeans just got it right of like take a little nap in the middle of the day, have a little siesta. All the businesses shut down, everyone like goes home and has a little coffee or takes a nap, has a pastry.
And then you go back to work. It's like, yeah, I'll get my work done. But like, I want to enjoy life as well. The American work schedule is just so not sustainable. It's not realistic. And fitness culture fits into that somehow. It's just like your body is an oiled machine. No, it's fucking not. I'm a human being. I'm not firing on all cylinders all the time. I have like two cylinders and sometimes one doesn't even work. I'm just so like anti-work.
fitness culture. I think it's totally fine to be healthy and to want to be healthy and to respect your body and, you know, take care of your body. You can do that without subscribing to the toxic narrative and lifestyle of what IG fitness culture is. It's just gross and it turns me off and I just, you know, whatever. Okay, switching topics for a second. I'm ready to come out as a Nightmare Before Christmas adult. Okay.
This is my coming out as a Jack Skellington adult, okay? I'm one of those people that's like, I have Jack Skellington Crocs. I want to get a Jack Skellington tattoo. Like, walk into Hot Topic and I see Nightmare Before Christmas stuff and I'm like, yeah! I always was like, you fucking bitches are so weird with like Invader Zim stuff and Jack Skellington stuff. Like, y'all are weird. And now I've come to the light side or the dark side.
Like, I get it, dude. I'm on your team. I'm on your side. Nightmare Before Christmas is so fucking slay. The claymation is so... I love claymation. I just love claymation. Corpse Bride is one of my favorite movies of all time. And I think that Nightmare Before Christmas gets a bad rep because they like it. Look at me. I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says freak mode. I just like... Also, this is Dorian Electra's merch. Love you, Dorian.
I just, I'm so, I have been so anti Jack Skellington and Tim Burton and now I'm fully embracing it. I'm ready to embrace it. Zero the ghost dog. Get into it, bitch. I'm so into it. The music is so good. What's his name? Danny Elfman. Just like legend. I'm so, I'm tired of hiding in the dark. You won't, I will not hide any longer.
I love Nightmare Before Christmas. But I will say even like to this day, because I watched it when I was a child and I was like, this is so weird. And anyone who likes this is so weird. I watched it again. I watched it every year around Halloween. And then I stopped watching it halfway through because I want it to be a Halloween movie so bad. And when I see all the Christmas stuff, I'm like, ugh, boring. I turn it off. I'll only watch it halfway through. These little fuckers still scare me. Okay. I will admit that. They scare the fuck out of me.
That's terrifying. Like still as an adult, when I watch, when I watch Night Before Christmas, I'm like, don't make me like that. Okay, he's really freaking scary. What the hell? And he's hot. Okay, he's hot. They're hot. Don't, because this is, I think everyone should understand. And I think if you don't understand, you're lying. Because Jack Skellington is the ideal man. He's tall, thin, aggressively pale.
has spindly little fingers and arms and legs. I'm upset. Like he, he is the ideal man. This is the ideal male figure. Okay. This is the unattainable male body type. We don't want abs. We don't want bulging muscles. I want Jack Skellington. I want him biblically. I want him as a mate, as a primal. I want him as a mate. And I'm like, if Sally was, was thick,
Sally was a little thick. I'm like if Sally wore a size 18 and shopped at Shein. If Sally was a fast fashion slay girl. If Sally modeled for Fashion Nova, that's like what I am.
I just love Jack Skellington, dude. Do you guys ever get this thing where it's like, you really love an animated character? You're like, oh my God, I love him so much. And then you look up the voice actor to see if they're hot. Because ideally you want the voice actor to look like the animated character and they never do. When I found out who voiced Aladdin, I was like, are you joking? Fuck, I thought he was going to look like Aladdin. He doesn't. And I think he's white too.
Aladdin voice actor. Yeah, Scott Winger. That is the whitest man I've ever seen. One jump ahead of the... I think I'll take a stroll around the block. Aladdin's my favorite Disney movie. Aladdin and Hercules. Like, I wanted him when I was sentient and I was like, oh my god, Aladdin isn't a real character. Someone voices him. And I looked it up, I was like...
No! No! When Jack Skellington didn't look like Jack Skellington. No! Oh, God! No! There's nothing worse. There's nothing worse. Ruined my dreams. Cool. Aladdin and the King of Thieves? What the fuck is this? 1996? This came out four years later? I didn't know Aladdin had a... What? What is this? Oh, I know what I'm doing tonight. Holy shit. Who is that?
He's hot. What the fuck do y'all know about DeviantArt? I've spent many an hour on DeviantArt. DeviantArt is a fan. It's like fan art, but it's always like scary. Everyone has a bulging sack. DeviantArt. Yeah. American online art community that features artwork, videography, and photography. Well, they don't say that it's like fellow artists and enthusiasts. Yeah. It's all like fan made stuff.
Have y'all seen that picture of Aladdin? Aladdin no pants. His legs are fucking balls. His legs are like a ball sack. His legs are ball sacks. His knees are like the rounded parts of me googling Aladdin nut sack pants. Aladdin nut sack legs. I did not know Aladdin had a sequel, dude. That is so exciting. Did Hercules have a sequel? Zero to Hero.
Direct to video follow up to 1997 animated feature Hercules. Oh my God. Oh my God. I bet these are ass. I bet that's why no one talks about them, dude. Like do I ruin the sanctity of Aladdin and Hercules by watching the sequel or do I just let it exist as what it is? And do I, do I just enjoy it and let it be? Oh, I'm devastated. Hercules Zero to Hero is an hour and 10 minutes long and it has a 6.2 out of 10 on IMDb.
Aladdin and the King of Thieves has the same 6.3 out of 10 for Aladdin. In this animated sequel, after months of preparation for their wedding, Aladdin and his beloved princess Jasmine are close to the big day. When Aladdin learns his father, Kasim, is still alive, he tracks him down. Drama. Drama.
Kasim says he's been hunting the hand of Midas, which turns everything it touches into gold. Aladdin invites him to stay at the palace, but Kasim's obsession with the hand soon grows too strong for his new life. Is Robin Williams in it? Keep me things, Robin Williams. Yeah, he's in it! Wait, I might have seen this. Or maybe not. Robin Williams would reprise the role of the genie, reportedly for a $1 million salary after he... Ooh, there's tea! Ooh!
After a contract dispute with the Disney company over likeness rights, Robin Williams agreed to return for this film as the voice of the genie, reportedly for a $1 million salary after he received an apology from Joe Roth for Disney breaching an agreement not to use his voice to merchandise products inspired by Aladdin. Oh, so it was like a merchandise thing. That is tea, bitch.
Oh my god, I'm so excited. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna... I'm gonna go home. I'm in my home. I'm gonna go home to my room next door and watch Aladdin: King of Thieves tonight because holy shit, holy shit. Anyway, back to Jack Skellington. Yeah, it's terrifying. I think that that's also the sort of draw is that I've always loved... What's it called? Like I've had morbid curiosity, which so many people do, you know, just like being
really, really interested in the macabre and things that are creepy, but not too creepy. Like I'm not a horror film enthusiast, but I definitely want to hear about some scary stuff. Like I want to hear about it. I want to read about it. I don't want to see it. Cause if you show me, Hey, I'm going to have nightmares and probably like jump off of a building or something. I don't know. Anyway, I think that, uh, the charm of Nightmare Before Christmas is it's like, so it's campy now. Like it's so campy. It's, it was original. It still is like,
What an original concept and it's cute and it's terrifying. I think it still holds up. And then the music is so good and I need a zero tattoo so bad. Zero the little ghost dog. One thing about Tim Burton, he loves a ghost dog. There's one in Corpse Bride, there's one in Night Before Christmas, and there's one in Frankenweenie. The whole Frankenweenie movie is about ghost dog. And Jack is the perfect man. Like I said, he's emaciated. He's tall, curious, half dead. Everything you want in a partner.
has one foot in the grave, is dead. Speaking of death, speaking of death, I have something to say. I recently learned that Benadryl is like so, so bad for you. What do you mean by that? I take like one Benadryl a day. Benadryl side effects long-term. Constipation, done. Blurred vision, done. Memory problems. I literally have memory problems. Anxiety, dependence.
Me needing my Benadryl fix. Me getting itchy and scratchy because I haven't taken my Benadryl. Benadryl is recommended only as a short-term treatment for people with symptoms of allergies or other conditions. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, whatever. If you take Benadryl long-term, you may develop long-term side effects of the medication.
Well, that sucks because Benadryl is like allergies. Allergies for me, like Claritin, Zyrtec, that shit has never worked for me for some reason. Benadryl is the only thing that really stops my nose from running, stops me sneezing, stops the itchy eyes. And like, I would take it in the morning when I used to work my nine to five.
I would take it in the morning and I would be fucking exhausted, but then I would drink coffee, like whatever. It was just this constant state of like, I'm so fucking tired, but I can't sleep because I had coffee. I miss corporate America. But now that like, I've been taking Benadryl since I was like 12. What does that mean? I'm scared. I also sometimes pop ibuprofen like it's candy because my body hurts, dude. My body hurts. What am I supposed to do? What?
Like my nightly cocktail of ibuprofen and Benadryl. And now doctors are like, no, no, no. You've been doing that. You're going to die. What's the deal? I love ibuprofen. Ibuprofen. She's that girl. Ibuprofen and 500 milligram Tylenol. Me kissing my pill box. Stupid. That's so troubling.
It really does. Like, I don't know if it's just my family, but like, I, it's always like, oh, you got a headache. This hurts, whatever. Take an ibuprofen. That's just what you do. So it's crazy to be like, oh, that can actually really, really harm you long-term. It's like, but it's pain medication. I mean, I guess that checks out. Still though, fucking Stanley told me, oh, you take Benadryl? You know, that's so bad for you. I was like, no way. He was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Because like, oh,
I have, like, it's not my fault that my body can't handle being outside. It's not my fault that my body is like, the wind, the grass, I'm gonna make today so miserable for you. I am, what's it called? The weakest link in the evolutionary chain because I smell pollen in my throat closest. Maybe the world's trying to get rid of me and for a good reason. I wasn't meant to survive the long, the long-standing test of life and death.
what's that called darwinian uh survival of the fittest i'm not the fittest and i've never claimed to be on top of ibuprofen and benadryl like i know soda is so bad for you bro i don't care i don't care i don't care this is what i was talking about the beginning of the episode like i know that okay fitness wise like sure seasoning saves you calories whatever but like that's one of the simple joys of life
in pain, I'm going to take an ibuprofen. If I'm having a salty meal, I want to have a Coca-Cola with my meal because it's sugary and carbonated and sweet and good. I just like, you know, soda's bad for you. Soda rots your gut and your teeth and you're this. I don't care. Pour me up another one, bartender. Hey, brother. That's how I feel. Also, a Coca-Cola can apparently like get the rust off of a car battery. Coke. What is that? If you pour Coke on like
Uh, what's the shit that comes out of batteries? Coca-Cola car battery. The corrosion. What does pouring Coke on a car battery do? The acid in Coke will neutralize the corrosion on the battery and cables. When the Coke has finished bubbling, take a wire brush and brush away any corrosion that is stuck around bolts or any hard to reach areas. So if that's doing that to a car battery dude, hey, what's it doing to my gut? And then I go to the doctor and say,
My tummy hole. Yeah, dude, this could literally melt the corrosion on a car battery and I'm drinking it and pissing it out. Maybe because I'm drinking acid. Meaning a corroded car battery with Coca-Cola. Yeah, let me get some of that. Let me put a straw in that. Some extra acid in my Coke. Yeah, do you guys actually have anything else that could corrode my teeth? Yeah, just like really wear down the enamel. Oh no. Oh, the Coke's fine. Oh, okay, great.
Thank you. Yeah, I think, no, this is great. Thank you so much. Yeah, can we get the bill? Like, that's so scary. I love Coke. Why is everything good in life having to be bad for you? One hit bad for me is bad for me. That song, that is so bad. One hit bad for me. And what's wrong with that? Fucking AJR, dude. Who listens to AJR? If you listen to AJR, AJR, raise your hand. You're not allowed back here.
No, thank you. No, thank you. One sip, bad for me. One hit, bad for me. One kiss, bad for me. But I give in so easily. What? And what's wrong with that? I don't even know why this song is popular. AJR and like, who's the other one who makes music kind of like that? Oh, John Bellion. I do like some John Bellion songs, but it's the same sort of music that's like...
It's been a really really messed up week. Hot shell Ray. Okay, wait, I take it back. Hot shell Ray fucking sl- Hot shell Ray. It's been a really really messed up week. Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter, and my girlfriend went cheating on me. She's a California dime, but it's time for me to quit her. La la la, whatever. La la la, doesn't matter. Released 2011.
Oh my god, people also search for "I like it like that, Hotshell Ray" "No by Meghan Trainor" "What makes you beautiful, One Direction" and "Moves like Jagger Maroon 5" Dude, I think I peaked in 2012. It's all been downhill from there. I'm gonna get this tattooed. La la la, whatever. La la la, doesn't matter. We're going at it tonight! Tonight- Do you guys remember fucking All Star Weekend? Holy shit.
All Star Weekend. Who did I like? Zachary, Cameron, Cameron Kaysing, dude. He was so hot. He's 33. And he's married. Just ruined my day. He's married, dude. I did like the lead singer too. Zach, he was hot. He kind of looks like, oh my God. He used to be the background on my iPod Touch. I would switch between him and Josh Hutcherson, dude. Oh my God. And Cameron Kaysing, I watched some interview with All Star Weekend.
tell me y'all remember All-Star Weekend, do you? They were like kind of Disney adjacent. I think that's how I heard about them. And there used to be this show called Interview with a Vampire. Or no, no, no. My babysitter's a vampire. Oh my God. Me and Taylor used to obsess over that show. There was a hot guy on there too. Cameron Kiesing, I used to watch, there was this interview that somebody did with All-Star Weekend and they were like, you know, oh, what's your favorite song of the moment or like of all time? And he answered, um,
Hell's Bells by ACDC. And at this time I was like, I was really into the Beatles. And so I didn't really, I liked Aerosmith because my stepmom likes Aerosmith. And like, I, you know, I grew up kind of hearing that music. And I was like, yeah, I like this, this interview with Cameron where he was like Hell's Bells by ACDC, one of the best songs ever. I was like, yeah,
okay, I'll give it a try. What is this song? Bitch. That entered me into this whole era where like all I listened to was like ACDC, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Guns N' Roses. Like it really opened up the white dad classic rock kind of pipeline for me. All thanks to Cameron Keyes. I still think about him to this day. That interview changed my life.
Like Hell's Bells, objectively, great song. Go listen to it. I'm going to listen to it tonight to honor Cameron Kiesing. Can't believe he's married, dude. I'm going to have like a private funeral for what could have been. Give me 30 minutes alone with Cameron Kiesing. I could really work some magic, dude. Oh, he was so hot. Or maybe not. Cameron Kiesing, Instagram. Oh, is this his wife? Sarah, Sarah.
Oh no, Cameron Kiesing. He only has 25,000 followers. Oh dude. Is he a pilot? He's a pilot? This year I'll be working all day on Christmas and I couldn't be more thankful. Merry Christmas and happy holidays from my family to yours. Sydney Sierota, that's his wife. Oh, okay. She has 400,000. So she's, she does like influence. Oh, she's a musician. Oh my God. Show me pictures of Cameron. Yes. I love you more every day. Happy four years of marriage to my best friend. This is so upsetting.
This is a lot for me to take in all at once. She's gorgeous. Oh my god, she's so beautiful. So what does he do now? What does he do? Are they together? Like, do they tour together? He was in Austin. Oh my god, he was in Austin. What if he was around the same time I was in Austin? What if I ran into Cameron Kaysing on the street? It would be in the news. That would be of national importance. Okay, guys.
That just about does it for me this episode. Thanks so much for tuning in, for having a laugh with me, for listening and watching and kissing and whatever you guys are doing. Okay? Have a great rest of your week. Make good choices. Pay your credit card off. Okay? Don't miss that bill. Okay? My followers have good credit, and that's something I really pride myself on. Okay, guys?
Loving you all. Subscribe to the YouTube. Raby 5 Stars. Listen on whatever streaming platform is your favorite choice. And we'll see you next week. All right, guys? Be good. Loving you. Bye-bye-bye-bye.
