71: Anthony Bourdain & Pilates
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Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. What's going on, Broski Nation? Damn! It's time to be annoying. It's time to be annoying. Guys, put on those hats, hands on the wheel, veer very hard into the left lane, okay? Okay?

Brick on the gas pedal. We are so back. I've been gone. I've been gone. Okay? I always say this. I take a break. I have a freakout. I come back. I take a break. I have a freakout. I come back. Okay? This last time, hey, nothing really happened. I just, I lacked time management skills. And hold on. I want to give you guys a warning up front here. Okay? Got back late last night from Eddyville. Okay?

Like, it might still be, I don't know, remnants. There might be remnants in this sort of flesh cavern that I've got going on. This flesh cavern that I'm housing, that I'm nurturing and healing. You know what I mean? So they have these ones. Like, I'm going to be out of it today. I just want you to know. They have these ones that are, like, watermelon flavored. Oh, my God.

Oh my lord, are you serious? Did y'all's grandparents ever used to tell you that if you ate watermelon seeds, one would grow in your stomach? What a cool, unfunny joke. Up until the ages of probably, to be completely transparent, 15, 16, I was like, I can't hide watermelon seeds, and I'm gonna look pregnant. And then I'm going to look pregnant.

Okay guys, what's been going on? Man, it feels like forever since we've kind of spoken, you know, in this strange, dystopian, parasocial way. Let me just get comfortable here for a second. What's new in my life? Here's something that I need to speak about because I need to bitch and complain, okay? So we're gonna, look, let me get this rant out of the way. Let me talk about this. Let me talk about this and then I'll move on to some funny stuff, okay?

Here's the deal. Actually, before we do that, let me just get this in really quick because this will be coming out on election day. Holy fuck. Please go vote. Hello.

Are you 18 and up in the continental United States? Not even continental. Are you in the whole United States? And have you registered to vote? You know, in some states, if you are not registered to vote, I'm literally like pleading with you on my knees. If you have put it off until literally election day, some states you can go in when you vote, you can register to vote the same day. So you can register and then you can vote the same day.

If you waited, y'all, seriously, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Go fucking do it, okay? Truly the fate of the country is in our hands. And that's kind of all I want to say on that is that there is a reality that we might face that scares the living shit out of me, okay? So please, please vote. Please vote, please vote. Okay, moving on.

I wanna talk about Pilates because what the fuck are you bitches smoking? Okay, Pilates was just playtime. Pilates is an adult playground. Like truly, okay, here's the thing. Let me give some background. I have PCOS as we all know. Woo, where are my big forehead balding fupa having PCOS sisters? Guys, throw a fist up in the chat for the PCOS women, okay?

And people. You don't have to necessarily identify as a woman to have PCOS. Okay, here we go. PCOS has a whole just...

amalgamation of different symptoms that for the longest time were attributed by most doctors to just being overweight, right? It took this one doctor who Remy Ashton recommended to me, God bless her, that really tackled what the syndrome is, you know, and not a lot of doctors know a lot about it because it's one of those things where it's like, well, if you have all these things, it's probably PCOS. Luckily for me,

the diagnosis was correct. I mean, I can only assume. All of my symptoms, irregular periods, thinning hair, strange body hair, like all the, like something was wrong with my hormones and with my ovaries. So that being said, I have always been, as we know,

As we know, a little tubby, okay? And I say tubby with a capital T. I say tubby written in bubble letters, okay? Did y'all ever used to write bubble letters? I used to do that, okay? Where it looks like they're all squeezed together and you like play with dimension, you add little like bubble shines. Do y'all remember that? Okay, anyway.

I was tubby written in bubble letters. And it was always this sort of thing of like, I'm the fat friend, right? I'm the plus size friend. I was the duff. If you want to be, you know, what is the word I'm looking for? If you want to be primitive about it, if you want to be primitive about it, I was the duff. Okay. Do I think that about myself now? No. And did I think that about myself at the time? No.

But looking back, I can sort of describe what that feeling is. All my fat bitches, you know what I'm talking about, okay? To be the biggest person in the room, to be the person that visibly you know

I struggle with probably food, my relationship with food, my relationship with my body. And come to find out, my diet was contributing to my PCOS. It was exacerbating my syndromes, right? All that to say, I recently went to see my doctor. And she looked at me and she was like, you're not working out. And I said, well, she said, not a question. That was not a question. Okay, that was a statement with a period at the end. And I said, okay.

Yes. She said, you're not working out. And I said, well. She said, you need to work out. And I literally rolled my eyes and she said, no, no. And I was like, here's the thing, right?

I've tried workout classes. Like, I'll try. This is a lie, what I'm about to say. Just know that I'm lying when I say this. I'll try anything once, right? That was a lie. But in theory, I'd like to believe that about myself, but I know it to be not true. So, moving on. After this doctor's appointment, she was like, you know, the...

Diet is only part of it. You know, I can't have gluten. I can't have dairy. I can't have avocado. I can't have banana. I can't have coconut because all these things are they have things that will inflame my body and make me swell up like a balloon and also carry extra weight.

And so she was like, you need to start working out. And I was like, I don't want to. She's like, just start with walking. I don't want to, but I will. Okay. And so she was like, you need to start working out. I said, okay, well, I don't have the discipline nor time in my schedule, me making excuses, to prioritize that. And she said, have you ever done a workout class? And I said, like, no, I think I did Zumba with my mom in 2011. Okay.

She was like, try a workout class. And luckily enough, the same day, my friend Meg had texted me and she was like, do you want to come to Core Power with me? Now, what the fuck is Core Power? Oh, I was soon to find out. Okay. I was soon to figure it all out. Core Power is actually going to be a HIIT workout class.

And whatever the fuck you core power bitches are smoking, it's cheap, okay? It is a form, I think it's masochistic. What you bitches do at core power, I think it's sick in the head. Here's my experience, okay? And this is no hate to core power. It just was not for me. I go in thinking it's going to be a yoga class.

I go in thinking it's going to be breathe in, then breathe out, good, gratitude for your body, okay? First of all, I walk in, she says, "Get a yoga mat and get weights." Weights, okay? And so she said, "Get light and heavy weights." I said, "Heavy?" And so I got two pound, five pound. Bitch, five pounds is heavy when you're doing . Girl, that's heavy!

So I walk in, I say, okay. I'm there with my friend Meg. We get the mat, we get the weights. Mind you, it is 95 degrees in this room. Immediately I'm mad. It's 95 degrees. It is hot core power sculpt. Bitch, this was a HIIT workout class for like, for like a professional dancer is damn near what it felt like. I walked in there, I said, I did not realize I was Wildebeest Adams.

I did not realize I was Matt Stefania. Unity in diversity, okay? Jade, what was her name? Chinnawith? God, I loved her. They, oh my God, Wildebeest Adams! Or was it Matt? They had this video of, got some party favors for you. Who is that, Ciara or Tinashe? Got some party favors.

That song, Jade Chittawith did a choreographed dance to that song. Did I try to learn it in my room? Yeah, I did. Me like in knee pads and a sports bra in my room, just giving everything I have, just trying my hardest. I used to memorize, which this is not shocking if you have seen one episode of my podcast. I used to memorize Beyonce tour choreography.

And one thing you start to notice about Beyonce's tour choreography is that she'll repurpose old moves, obviously, but she will incorporate new songs to do the dances to. For example, the famous from Beechella when she did "Everybody Mad" the "I've been getting to the money" where she does a "I've been getting to the" that one, okay?

Everybody mad at me. I've been getting too much money. Everybody mad at me.

That one, that choreography, she's used a bunch of different, for a bunch of different songs. And I think it's so iconic and she knows that people will do it along with her. The same with Diva, obviously the same with Single Ladies whenever she performs Single Ladies. Those are like the beginner level, okay? I'm talking about if you know I'm awesome. I'm so awesome.

some when she kind of did some of the similar choreography um panda by designer okay all of these what i'm trying to say is that choreography was fun to learn because you would already know some of the base moves why am i arguing i'm a dancer like i'm fucking tate mccray and like the thing about having a dancer's body and thank you for asking is like shut the

Shut up! I just had a visceral flashback to like doing the dance challenges on the Wii and having it pop up and say on the Wii Fitness, "You are obese. You are obese." Hey, I'm nine. Oh, okay, I'm actually nine and we're bowling. But thank you for telling me that I'm a big fat hog. This shit starts so young. This episode is gonna be called Big Fat Ease. This one's for my big fatties, okay? Anyway, we were in this core power

And I've done a workout class maybe once or twice in my life. You know what I mean? Like, it's not, I'm not doing that. Like, that is just so not the fiber of my being. Okay? I was meant to sit down. I was meant to live a very sedentary lifestyle. I'm not drunk. I just had a protein shake and then a Red Bull. We're in this core power workout. She says get weights. It's 110 fucking degrees Celsius in the room.

I lay out on my mat. I look around. Everybody's stretching. Okay, well, guess what I'm going to start doing? So I start stretching. I'm kind of nervously looking around, talking to my friend Meg. Okay, the instructor comes in. Immediately, she has way too much energy. Okay, immediately, I'm kind of... Have you ever seen a squirrel, like, when it hears something? Or, like, a raccoon when you first open the dumpster and you see the little family, the little colony of raccoons in there? And they do...

That's how I felt. She walked into the room. I said, immediately she's, hello, welcome to the car. Exhale, beautiful. Two, three, four, and right. Okay, we do a pump, pump, pump. What the fuck is going on? What's going on? And I said, okay. I look around, I said, what?

And so I started trying to copy everyone, okay? Because these are basic yoga poses. I don't know what the fuck that is. Three-legged downward dog. We used to dildos. What is that? And so I look around and I say, oh, okay. She's got her knee up in between her breasts. Okay, perfect. Let me just go ahead and do that. I'm copying everyone. She's moving so fucking fast. And let me bitch for a second.

When you move that fast, there is no way you're actually getting a good stretch in. There's no way you're actually getting a good rep in. When you are going one, two down, one, two down, one, two down. What the fuck? I can't even, I'm so focused on trying to keep up with you that I'm not even doing the exercise. You know what I mean? I'm kind of doing like baby movements and I'm looking around my head's on a swivel because I'm like scared. I'm like a chihuahua during a thunderstorm. I'm shaking. I need to work out in my thunder jacket.

I started to get really frustrated, okay? So this is probably like 15 minutes into it. Then she makes us start doing burpees, bitch. And boy, I don't want to do my training for a fucking marathon. An Olympian? Why the fuck are you making me do burpees? What? Burpees?

Burpees just feel so like high school track to me. Do you know what I mean? Like I immediately was like, oh my fucking God, I hate burpees. I get dizzy. My ass gets dizzy. And then I feel like the fat girl. You know what I mean? So we're in this, we start to do burpees. Okay. I'm pissed off. Then she goes jumping jacks. I'm like, oh, I can do jumping jacks. Did I wear a supportive sports bra? No.

No, I did not. So I was in pain. I'm hot. I'm in pain. And I don't feel... Okay, so we're doing jumping jacks. And I did like this part. Okay, we'll say about this, about the class. There's music playing the whole time. Was half of it Ed Sheeran? Yeah. Do I want to work out to Ed Sheeran? No. Okay, we're doing jumping jacks. And she starts doing...

Up, down, up, down, up, and you slap your thighs. And I was like, that's fun because we all got into a rhythm. We were all on tempo. Okay. No one was dragging. No one was, it was, it was very nice. I looked around. I said, damn, okay, I can do this. But here's the thing about jumping jacks. Why are they hard? When you do 40 jumping jacks, they're hard. Anyway,

So we do Debbie Jacks, whatever. Then we're on the floor. Then she says, get on the fucking floor. We incorporate weights. I can't. Okay. And I say that very literally. Couldn't do it. I started to see spots in my vision. I genuinely, it was so hot in this room. The weights were too much because at this point you've been going for 40 minutes, like trying to do five pound weights and squeeze my glutes. And then you put your bicep into your, I could not do it.

Then that makes me feel weak. Then it makes me want to give up. And then I do give up. Okay. I gave up, but part of it was, Hey, I'm about to pass out. I went to go sit against the wall. Then that made me feel worse. Cause I was like, I'm looking around and everyone else can. So here comes the rant. Okay. Here's the rant. I'm looking around and everyone else is doing it. Can do it. We'll finish like in their little aloe yoga, Lululemon bullshit, like matching set, uh,

And I started to feel so out of place. And so I left the room and I went to go stand out in the air conditioned hallway because why the fuck? I understand hot yoga. Make it 80. Okay. Make it 80 degrees in there. 95. That's like doing a full workout in the Texas sun. There's no fucking way. Like I will die. I will die. So I went to go stand out in the hallway and drink my water. And I just like, it washed over me this wave of that shame, like,

of being in middle school or elementary school or high school being the fat girl in PE. Okay? And if you've never been overweight, you don't really know that feeling. But if you have been overweight, hey! This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc.

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Free meals at HelloFresh.com slash free broski. Applied across seven boxes, new subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's 10 fresh HelloFresh meals. Just go to HelloFresh.com slash free broski. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. It was not something I expected to happen, was to return to that mental space of being the biggest person in the room, the last person to finish the exercise, if even finish the

fitness gram pastry test, run the mile, do the crunches. I couldn't. It was so hard and embarrassing. There's nothing more humiliating than being in middle school, period. That's the end of that sentence. And then the next thing is, you know, being the big one. And that was a product of

My family, the way that I was raised, you know, that if you would just lose a bit of white, boys would like you more. I'm at a point now, let me clarify, that that doesn't fucking matter to me. And, like, my body is not a piece of iced sculpt for men to enjoy looking at. Like, my body is a living, working machine. I have a much different relationship with my body now than I did as a 12-year-old. However, being in this core power class, feeling like the fat girl again, having to...

walk myself out of the room over the cattle grates into the hallway like a heifer. I was not having a great time to be euphemistic about it. And so I went back in because I was like, I'm not going to quit. I just needed to like, truly I needed to get out of the room because I was going to pass out. I go back in the room. I finished the last like 10 minutes of the workout and I did it on my own time.

And I only did what I knew. Okay, if they're like, "Do the fucking triple downward doggy then put your leg to your left bicep forearm, great, and bring outward two, three, four, good, now the five pound." I just did what I knew and I did not stress myself out. And I know that a lot of you workout class girls in the comments are gonna be like, "That instructor should have helped you. You can always do it on your own time." No, no.

Because if I don't know the moves, I can't do it, right? Okay, anyway. My experience with core power was less than ideal. It did not make me feel strong. I think it was jumping into the deep end with this idea of a workout regimen. I don't work out. Like, I'm going from genuinely zero. I do not move my body. The most exercise I get is walking around airports. Truly. Like, those are the only days that I meet my fitness goal, quote-unquote.

and my doctor literally telling me, like, you have to move your body. You're losing all this weight. You're just going to be skin. And I was like, oh, I had to get a surgery. And she looked at me and she said, no, you need to go to the gym. And I said, so core power. After that, I went home and I was sore the next day, but it was that good sort of sore where I was like, this feeling does make me want to keep going forever.

Because I got through that shit. I didn't fully give up. I wasn't like, well, I'm fat, so fuck all you guys. I'm gonna go sit out in the hallway for the whole time. No, I finished the class and I went home and I was like, am I going to let this fully deter me from finding something that is doable for me? Because I have to get above zero. Do you know what I mean? I went zero to like 95%

I want to rest around 25 somewhere. So I was like, you know what? I'll keep trying. I posted on my Instagram story. A bunch of y'all swiped up. Try Pilates. I thought, okay, I've seen Jake Shane do Pilates. That shit looks hard as the way he shakes. My God. Hi, Jake. I was like, if that's Pilates, like Glenn Powell Pilates. But I tried it. Okay. So I went with my friend Lawrence.

And we did it and we did a private class. Okay. Cause I learned my lesson. I said, I'm not doing this group class bullshit with the, cause Pilates is like I said, it's a playground. It's this like sliding. You got a ball, you got a box and you got some armbands, you got toys and you're jumping on shit. And you're like, it's, it's a game.

And I was like, I am going to kill myself by accident, by accident on this thing. So I said, I need an instructor that is only paying attention to me because I need attention and I need help, if you can't tell.

So we go to Pilates and Lawrence does Pilates every fucking morning. And so he was kind of, he was great. This instructor was so nice and it was a much more pleasant experience for me because first of all, the room was set at 68. Thank you, Jesus. The room was set 68 degrees. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Lord. I have a video to show y'all. Actually, really quick. The fuck have I been talking about, dude? What am I talking about? The edible is like swirling around in my brain still. I took it like 12 hours ago. Watch this. For I have seen all that Laban's... I've seen what Laban's done on his order. That'll make sense. And my word will not return void. And it will go to that which it was sent. And it will prosper.

Okay, let me explain what I just pulled. Okay, what was I talking about where I even had to bring this up? Oh, this is one of those viral clips from the early 2010s, you know, late 2000s.

that my family fucking loved. Everyone in my family has seen this video. It is a cult classic in my family. This is a televangelist, okay? I can't remember his name for the life of me, but he's a very famous Southern televangelist. He would go on these, what are these called? Fundraising, you know, tele... You know what I'm trying to say. Where he's trying to get you to tie it to the church and call in and do this.

He would get these attacks during these commercials or these shows He'd get these attacks of just gratitude and overcome with the Holy Spirit, okay? When he'd do that, it would literally derail his sentence and he'd go All you gotta do is call and thank you, Lord

Amen. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. He'd pat his stomach. He's pat his chest like this. And so after a while, because people were like, he does that so much. They started making these joke videos on YouTube where they'll take footage from his show of him doing that and they'll add farts in to make it look like.

he's passing a fucking kidney stone or he's finally like, you know, this gas has been tormenting him and Jesus took it away, took the pain away. And so that's what these videos are. I've seen these so many times. Let's keep watching. - Life and joy and the nature. Oh, hallelujah. And bread for eating.

will also provide and multiply. That's the opening of the windows of heaven. This is decreeing faith. Decreeing a thing. The force, the spiritual force of the spiritual power. He is preparing for you as we even speak. I smell heaven's bakery cooking up. Ha ha ha.

Stop! Stop! That will always be funny. There is no way that y'all aren't giggling at that. Are you serious? Anyway, that's how I feel. I don't remember what I was talking about. Pilates. I don't know how the Farting Preacher, the original Farting Preacher 5, the title of this video. Don't know how that correlated to Pilates. Anyway, Pilates was playing.

She had me doing all this shit with my knees and my legs and I was tucking it in and doing all this and you know, you get gassy. And you know how they'll fart babies? They'll burp babies with their legs and they'll push them into their chest and they'll push a fart out? That's what Pilates is. Pilates is the excuse to act like a grown up baby. I'm surprised they don't give you pacifiers and fucking bibs when you walk in the thing. They're like, "You need your grippy socks."

You need your light up shoes. Now go play. Now go get your stuff. Put your stuff over there. Put your grippy socks on. All right, y'all be safe. Y'all be good. Have fun. I'll be back in an hour. That's how it felt, me dropping myself off at Pilates. I was like, bye, Mom. I was like, you remembered your socks, right? I said, yes, I remember my fucking Pilates socks. Didn't have them. Had to buy them. Guess how much they were? $40. $40. Anyway.

We walk in there and I see this shit where it's the springs, right? And she's got you up on a box with your knee at a 90 degree angle and you're pushing back. And it's about the resistance that you have to control it. It's about controlling it. Yeah, I get that. I'm shaking. I'm shaking. And I'm going to hurt myself by accident. And then she was like, you're going to squeeze this ball with your gooch muscles. And I was like, I just, it was a lot. It was a lot.

But I give it a five out of 10 because I think the experience of having it be just me was nice. Just me and my friend where I didn't feel left behind. If I would have done a Pilates class without being taught what the shit is, the reformer, because you have to have a device to do it. You have to buy the jungle gym to be able to do Pilates. I think I would have been even more discouraged

So it was nice doing a private class. Next, I tried bar method. Okay. Now, bar method, I went by myself because both of those times I went with a friend. This, I went by myself. I'm working up the confidence, right? And so I booked bar method and I go and it's all women. First of all, can I just say that? Okay. Actually,

My whole demeanor is about to change when I talk about this because it was a very positive experience for me. Okay, that's good. That's crazy. Coming out of my mouth, I booked another one to go tomorrow. We're getting somewhere. Okay, I think starting with the extreme, I cried in my car afterward, moving on to, you know, like less intensity. Bar method was fucking intense, but in a different way. This, it's good for me. Okay.

I am seeing videos on TikTok of, if you have tried Pilates, have you ever tried bar method? And it's like, fiend, fiend, fiend. It's like edits of women in bar method. And I'm like, what is this? And so I go and look it up.

Both Pilates and Bar Method were created by like scientists, by physical therapists from one of them from the Second World War to as a form of there's a term for it, but it was it was to rehabilitate. It was to rehabilitate people with back injuries, leg injuries, injuries from the war. You know, it was a form of physical rehabilitation.

And keeping that in mind, I was like, this could be good for me because as I've talked about, I have sciatica, which is a searing pain that stems from your sciatic nerves, which is like kind of the base of your spine. And it shoots down the back of both of your legs. For the longest time, I was just told, well, in case you're fat, well, maybe if you could lose some weight. Here's the thing. It's a cycle, right? I can't lose weight because I'm

My body hurts and my body hurts because I'm fat and I'm fat because I can't lose weight. And it's just this cycle of, and also knowing now with the PCOS, I retain fat in certain areas that is so much harder for women with PCOS to lose than, you know, a man that's a little overweight because it's hormonal and it's like a reproductive issue thing. Anyway, the bar method incorporates a ballet bar.

And I was intrigued by this because I was seeing TikToks and I was like, if it's kind of like a Zumba class without serious choreography, I could try that out. Then I start seeing videos and it's like intense. The only reason you use the bar is because you're up on the balls of your feet like a ballerina for half of the class. And it's like intense.

working out your hamstrings, your thighs. It is so much core strength to be able to do that and to bend down and push your body weight back up. You use this little ball for resistance.

It's a lot about stretching. I loved this. The last 10 minutes of the class was yoga. It was cooling down. It was stretching your back. It was stretching, but it was also getting like a good, you know, you can stretch and incorporate weights. She turns the music volume down and the lights down. And it's about being grateful for what your body can do and honoring your body by treating it well and using it and moving it in a way that

builds muscle because I don't have any muscle. And part of the reason I have sciatica, I'm just bitching at this point. Part of the reason I have sciatica is because I have a weak core. A lot of that pressure and stress goes onto my spine and on my butt because I sit all day. Anyway, bar method. You use the grippy socks. It's a carpeted floor.

And you use the bar, which was really fun because you get to like put your leg up on the bar and like you get to do the ballet moves. I was kind of living the fantasy. Like I felt a little bit like a dancer. And this is part of the... Okay, now the story gets beautiful. I've been bitching for what? 35 minutes. Awesome. This is where it took a turn for the better. Recently in my life, there's been a combination of things and choices that I've been making for myself that...

It's so cornball. And I, this is not a self-help episode. Okay. But these are little things I've been doing that I've been putting off in my life. You know what I mean? I've been putting off working on this thing about myself or prioritizing X, Y, Z thing or making time for something else. And I'm at a point where I'm tired of living like that. It makes me feel bad about myself because

And so I've cut off people that are not good for me. I have healed or am healing my relationship with food. Shout out to Alyssa's magic on TikTok. And I am finding a balance of moving my body that I like. And I think a lot of it is the energy and the attitude towards it. Core power in Pilates is a very intense, like working out is my thing. I do Pilates, I do this.

I want to do something that's like, yeah, this is just how I move my body. It's not this intense workout culture around this specific activity. It's something that

Above all else, I can walk out feeling like I did a good job, I'm proud of myself, and it wasn't too much of a challenge. This episode is sponsored by Blissy. Here is a tip I just learned. If you're experiencing acne as an adult and feel like you've tried everything, turns out it could actually be your pillowcase.

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I go in and I'm in my workout stuff and I go up to the counter. First of all, the energy in there was so like, I don't know how else to say it other than like pink. It was just so positive and encouraging and sweet. Like immediately I walk in.

A bunch of girls are coming out of a class and they all like have their towels and they're talking and they have, you know, their wad bottles, everyone's smiling. And this girl comes out of it in this cute little set, workout set. And she comes up to the front and she goes, hi, how are you? And I was like, oh, I'm great. You know, how are you? She said, um, are you Brittany? And I said, yeah.

Well, yes, like a kindergarten class. What's your name? I was like, I'm Dismini. I'm Dismini. I'm Dismini. And so she was like, are you Brittany? And I said, yes.

And she said, it is so nice to have you come on in. Like, is this your, have you ever done this before? And I was like, no, I haven't. And I've, I told her my history with, you know, I've tried Pilates. I tried core power. It was just way too much. And I'm just trying to find a way to move my body. Cause I don't work out like at all. I'm going from zero to whatever this is. She was like, well, I'm glad that you have, you know, chosen to join us today. Let me give you a little rundown. And so she, so she led me through the studio.

And she shows me, you know, here's the locker room. Here's the whatever. Here's the room. It's going to be get yourself two pound weights and three pound weights. I'll take care of everything else. Just keep your socks on and meet me in the middle of the room. And I said, OK, as we're walking towards the room, all these women coming out, she's greeting each of them by name.

She's pointing out things they did well during the class and things that, you know, she's encouraging them, asking them about their jobs. Everyone's smiling. Like it was so I don't know how to describe it without it sounding so cornball fucking Barbie movie. Like it was just such a positive feminine energy in there. And bar method isn't just for women, but it was all women in this class.

And they're all smiling. They were like, thank you so much. It was a great class. I'll see you next week. Like that sort of thing. Everyone's like, yes, you know, good luck on your test or whatever it is. And I was like, oh, my God, this is it was immediately a different vibe. There were plants everywhere in the lobby, whatever. And so we start the class and she was so happy.

First of all, let me say cognizant of this was my first time. It was another girl's first time. And everyone who has been doing Bar Method for a long time in there, you couldn't tell other than the fact that they were able to do more reps than everyone else. Like you could still see they were, you know, like it makes me feel good when a seasoned veteran of some of this shit is still sweating and huffing and puffing because I know it's supposed to get

easier the more you do it but the fact that it's still like the level of endurance that they're doing is not that different from what I'm doing you know what I mean like it I felt like it was a more level playing field there were women of all shapes and sizes in there all ages as well

And from the very beginning of the class to the very end, it was exactly how I would want an arc of a workout class to go. You start with stretching. You start with minor weights when you have like the bulk of your strength. It worked out every single part of my body.

And then towards the end, you start to do the bar, which was so hard, but so fun. And it was so cool because everyone we're all doing like dancer moves, but it was hard as fuck because it's working out, you know, your glutes or your hamstrings or whatever. And I, it made me feel strong without feeling pushed to the brink of what my body can do. Do you know what I mean?

And then we end the class. She dims the lights and it's a bit slower music. And she ended it with, and if I'm about to cry, just ignore it. She ended it with this sort of yoga pose.

thing of asking us to inhale positive thoughts about ourselves and exhale negative thoughts about ourselves. Bitch, I damn near started to cry. Also, I've read all these things about exercise is such an emotional thing because it's releasing hormones and it's releasing endorphins and things like that. And it's not that abnormal if you cry towards the end of a workout or whatever, because you're releasing things from your muscles and

It's just a lot of energy. And towards the end of it, when she was saying all that shit, and I looked around the room, and it's all women with their eyes closed, like thanking their bodies for carrying them through a workout like that. And how grateful I am to have a body that serves me and that keeps me alive and healthy. And, you know, I just, I think it was like guilt wracked over me of, I haven't treated it well in the past. And

I'm so proud of me now for taking care of it. And here are all these women who have, for one hour, decided to come together and share this space and do this together and just be here for a moment in time, just like taking a moment of appreciation for what our bodies can do. I don't know. It's such a fucking polar opposite relationship to like, even my relationship with my body four years ago.

two years ago. Like we are so cruel to ourselves. And this is, this is the level for me that I think I've been looking at. It was hard. That shit was hard. Okay. Cause it's pulsing and it's in one, but it's in a way that's a lot more doable for me than a core power thing. It was hard, but even leaving the class, I went and cried in my car again, but I was like, you know what? I would do this again.

So I'm doing it again. And we'll see. I could be really over it and I could be like, never fucking do that shit again after four classes. But the experience was very positive for me, which has never happened in the history of ever for me when it comes to exercise. And I just have such a negative attitude towards that. I didn't grow up in a family that did that.

I didn't grow up in a family that cared about health at all until it was too late. You know, when it's like getting a kidney transplant or getting a liver transplant or having emphysema because you smoked for 40 years or you got diabetes and so you need to do this. It's about...

managing the health issues when they come up. It's not about preventing them. It's not about making choices, you know, that will keep you alive longer for your kids and your grandkids and your family. Those choices, it feels like, I don't know, my family's very weird about that sort of stuff. There's not a good diet.

We don't move. We don't hike. We're not one of those outdoor families. We're very AC-centric family. And for the longest time, I was like, you know, that's just how it is. You're raised in the South. You know, I've got lard and gravy in my blood through my veins. It's just sort of... If you were to cut me in half and look in my arteries, there'd be some sausage in there. There'd be little bits of sausage, I think. Sausage and like a roux. You could make a roux with... Okay, fine.

So, no, like having that as my foundation, anything is an improvement, right? That's how I'm trying to look at it. Because if I push myself too hard, too quick, I'm going to give up completely. And I know I will. So I'm trying not to do that. But bar method, yeah, bar method was like a 6.8 out of 10 for me. And it's exciting. There's a lot of things that I am...

I am using this period of like Q4 of 2024 as a catalyst for what I want my 2025 to look like. Do you know what I mean? There are things you ever go through a breakup so bad. It's like, I have to start playing piano. Oh my God. I have to take up a creative writing class. Like it truly woke me up out of my eternal slumber to be like,

Oh my God, there has to be something else I can do with my time. Then sit here and look at his profile. Are you fucking stupid? So I signed up for piano lessons. I still do my Spanish lessons. I am now, I guess, doing bar method. And I'm going to keep crafting. I've taken a break from crafting because I'm kind of over the air dry clay. I need to find something else. I need to find something else. Foam clay has been brought to my attention, but it's very sticky.

Need to figure that out. But it's stuff like that where I have made excuses for so long to not do things that would be, that would make my life more full. I have been for, I'd say like a week and a half now, really, really into like old Anthony Bourdain books.

Anthony Bourdain for a lot of people was a reminder that the world is a lot smaller than you think it is and that there are more things that humans can connect on than argue over. I think the introduction, there's a lot of things happening in my life right now that I'm just, I'm putting the pieces together. Anthony Bourdain's perspective and what he shared with the world was

was like like that coupled with eating good food and making myself good food with keeping at my second language studies with working out my body and honoring what my body can do and also with working hard you know like I I'm there are so many things in production and projects that we're launching soon that I've been working on for a long time and I'm I cannot give all

all of my energy to that if I'm like physically not well so it's just a lot of changes I'm making in my life and Anthony Bourdain for some reason keeps coming up as this I am very weary of the word hero because I don't think it's fair or realistic to say that another person is your hero

But there are qualities of those sort of people that it's all I could ever want to be, you know? And seeing, I'm reading Kitchen Confidential right now. That's what I'm getting at. It's one of his first nonfiction books that he wrote that just talks about how nasty the restaurant industry is, but at the same time, how uniquely, what a unique experience it was, but at the same time, altogether not unique because he describes being a chef, being a cook,

as a slowly dying subculture. A subculture that in America, for some reason, is uniquely like

It's, it's ne'er do gooders. It's pirates and convicts and just, you know, men and women and people who are a bit rough around the edges who have maybe had not so easy a go at life to have you end up on a cook line, you know, as a line cook. I think seeing it through his eyes like that, the way he describes it of here are people that have such, have such,

rich backstories, rich in the sense of a lot happened that have been thrown together of all different backgrounds and create this mafia pirate crew sort of camaraderie in the kitchen. And it's not without your scars and being humiliated and, you know, being made fun of to get to the point where you're great. So he, in Kitchen Confidential, he tells the whole story of

how he got into cooking and how he fell in love with it and how there's levels of pretentiousness to it that while sure, that's its own industry of, you know, the Michelin stars and European cuisine. There are so many things around the world that are just as good as, if not better than gourmet dining. Uh, one of Anthony Bourdain's favorite country in the world was Vietnam.

He said he loved the people, the culture. The first time he went there, it was just so life-changing for him. The food, the best in the world. And it's like, I admire how he went into all of his experiences with such an open and curious mind. And I don't mean that as like, I'm forcing myself to be open. He was genuinely there to learn and ask questions and listen.

He loved to talk, but he loved to listen. And I, there's so many things to take away from that. It's also such a gift to, I would say specifically Americans, because we're very navel gazing. His show, Parts Unknown, was a gift to people who sadly, but realistically, probably will never make it out of the United States in their life.

They don't have a passport. They never will have a passport. They will never be able to afford international travel. It's just not an opportunity for them. What a limited worldview. And some people are fine with that. They would rather hide under the shade of xenophobia than ever actually open themselves up to learning just how big the world is and how vast it is.

human cultures can be, they're fine being in their little hole. And all that to say, his TV show showed those people what they would not be fortunate enough to see. You know, he brought the great big world to the American living room. And it was very, very inspiring that here he is because he's charismatic and, you know, can speak this language of food with people.

But at the same time, the show wasn't even fucking about food after a while. So anyway, been thinking a lot about Anthony Bourdain. And I'm taking the time to figure out what it is truly like in my adulthood. Because I had this realization the other day. I'm a full-ass adult. Like there are things that... I was going through some old videos the other day. And just the way that I used to decorate my bedroom...

here since I've lived here like three, four years ago, how I've gone through different styles and hairstyles and changes and the music I was listening to. And all these things are parts of me, but I don't relate to them anymore. And I, it makes me think a lot about the future and it's so exciting that I don't know who I'm going to be in the future. I've talked about this before, but seeing where I've come from and seeing the influences that I have right now is

It's very fun. It's very exciting to reinvent who you are and rediscover what you like and what you want to do and what you want to say that you have done by the time you're on that hospital bed. You know what I mean? By the time you're old and gray, will you lay there and be like, I am so happy with what I chose to do with the time I had here. And for me,

looking in the mirror and realizing I used to be able to play piano because I took lessons when I was nine. I can't anymore. I used to be able to speak Spanish very fluently. You know, I can now, but I have to keep working at it. Cooking. I want to get better at cooking. This Anthony Bourdain book is kind of lighting a fire under me. I like to take a cooking class for basics. I don't want to do like culinary institute, that sort of thing. I mean, like,

How to care for kitchen knives, how to best make some basic dishes, how to blend flavors and know what to look for, that sort of thing.

It also inspires me to shop local. There's so many farmer's markets around here. Love. Anyway, there are things that I want to make active changes in my life that are so much more important to me than men and spending time with men, trying to attract men. I really, this is always in my line of like what I'm,

My self-growth and my evolution is that the older I get, the less of a priority it becomes. And I would say it's not a priority right now and hasn't been for a while. And it's a beautiful, beautiful thing to remove that and just completely crumble it up and throw it away and be like, look at all this shit that's left. Wow. This is who I am. That's who I am.

whoever the fuck I act like or whatever I do when I'm speaking to a man. No, I did not. And if I did, no, I did not. Because this is who I am. You know, I love music and I love language and I love history and I love all these things that make me me. And rediscovering those things and watering them, watering those flowers so that they grow and they become, you know, they shine. That's what I want to do.

So starting now and carrying that into 2025 is my goal. And it's, I'm very, very excited. Sorry. Is that cringe? Sorry, is that cornball? Anyway, I don't know what I've been talking about. Here were three notes that I had that I was going to talk about that I guess I'll talk about next time. What is lymphatic drainage and how do I empty it like draining a pool? Moose are so scary, bro. They're my biggest fear other than death. That was something I wrote.

And then I had a new ASMR account that I wanted to show y'all. Oh my God, I actually wanted to talk about this really quick. Watch the Justin Bieber documentary on YouTube. First of all, yeah, I'm a Belieber, always have been. Justin Bieber, I have dived back into the discography. And let me tell you, it stands up. It holds up. It is fantastic. It will not let you down. I've been back on Believe and there is this song, because here's the song of the week.

It is Out of Town Girl by Justin Bieber. Oh my God, and two others. Runaway Love from My World 2.0 and Right Here by Justin Bieber and Drake. Great song, okay? I'm back in my Belieber phase. All of the documentary basically is about how much of an angel Hailey is. And I truly do think she like saved him, like guardian angel.

type shit. Like, truly, she is a blessing to his life because when you're that famous, that young... I actually... I'll talk about this next episode because I have things to say. When you're that famous, that young, with so many negative influences on you, so much expected out of you, so many ideas of who and what you should be, where does the soul of you actually go? And I think Hayley sees the soul of him. Me acting like I know them. Hayley sees the soul of him and it is...

It was validating for him in a way that an audience, a label would never be able to validate him. So I really would recommend that documentary. It was really special. And I also watched his Zane Lowe interview because then I was on a Justin Bieber kick, of course. The two men of the hour right now, Anthony Bourdain, Justin Bieber. Okay. So yeah, that's been...

because I used to love Justin Bieber as a young woman, as a young girl. So I'm rediscovering the things. You get me, okay? Guys, seriously, thanks for listening. I don't know what I talked about. If you have any other workouts that you think from what I've described, you think I would enjoy, because fuck Pilates and also fuck core power, let me know.

And just for real, let me know. Please go vote. Please go vote. Please go vote. You don't have an option. Fate of America is in your hands. And to all my international fans, pray for us. Seriously, y'all. Love y'all. And if you want merch, go shop. Broski.shop. Go get your Moomoos and Broski Report merch. Go subscribe to the Royal Court YouTube channel because we've got a lot of exciting new gifts.

There's one, y'all, there's one coming later this year that you are going to freak the fuck out. You are going to freak the fuck out. So I just need y'all to lock in on royal court because I'm not joking, bitch. I'm not joking. I love y'all. Chapel Roan's country song. Are you out of your fucking mind? It's so, it's so well done. Well done. Okay, I love y'all. I'll see you next week. Bye.