67: FINALLY Analyzing My Birth Chart
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Sponsored by the Coalition for Medicare Choices. Learn more at MedicareChoices.org. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Hey guys, just farted before I hit record and it smells so bad in here. Like I just hot boxed myself in here. It's burning my eyelids.

It's burning my eyelids back like how, okay, have you guys seen Captain America? You know Hydra from Captain America? When he like rips his face off and it's just red like muscle underneath. I feel just farted so bad. I turned into, just shit my pants so bad. I turned into Hydra from Captain America. Put him up here. Scary as fuck. Farted so bad, my nose fell off. It smelled so bad.

Okay guys, hey! Hello everybody, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up,

Jojo Siwa. Is that her real name? Joelle Joni Siwa. Okay, that's actually so cute. Joelle Joni. I love a name that is gender non-conforming. Leslie, Morgan, Kai, all great gender non-conforming names.

Jojo Siwa, Siwa, last name, origin, Polish, United States, Canada, United Kingdom, 1891, 1920, most Siwa families. That is crazy to me how you can just look this up. Now, is this from Search Lab's AI overview? Yes. Hey guys, welcome back to the Broadscape Report. Today we're looking up the Siwa family history on Ancestry.com. Welcome back to the Broadscape Report sponsored by Ancestry.com, sponsored by Jojo Siwa.

Guys, if Dojo Siwa had a perfume, would you buy it? Do you want to know something? I'm actually not going to say a name, but I used to follow, I'm lying when I say used to, I still follow this person. I have been following them since probably 2015. Used to watch their videos, their vlogs in high school through college. And I sort of keep up to date with what they're doing today. Okay. Released a perfume.

Of course I had to buy it because I had to know what the fuck was going on. Okay. They sold this perfume for like $55, $60 after shipping and tax. Okay. Not a cheap perfume. I mean, you know, in the grand scheme of things, there's way more expensive ones, but like $60. Damn. Okay. I buy it. It arrives at my house. I bought this in

like way too but when did she release it she released it in 20 2019 i bought it girl when i tell you i was so excited for this perfume to arrive i was like this is gonna be my new scent like the way she's describing it sounds exactly like what i would wear it arrives rue 21

I was so pissed off, dude. I should have kept it. I should have kept it because I told every single one of my friends about it. Like, I was so excited for this perfume. I bought it. I was on pre-order for this fucking YouTuber perfume. And then it came out.

Route 21. It came out Forever 21 checkout line. Do you remember at the mall in middle school, high school, when you would be with your mother and you'd be checking out in line and they'd have all those little trinkets and bebops and whatever in the line and you'd be like, "Mmm, perfume!" And you'd smell it and you'd be like, "Oh, plastic. Mmm, rose-scented microplastic. Two for me, please. Oh, please, is this BOGO? It's almost Christmas time. I'm gonna get one for all my friends."

It smelled like the Forever 21 checkout line. Sometimes I talk so fast, spit bubbles out of the sides of my mouth. And I got to take a second to swallow. You know what I mean? I get so damn excited. I get so damn excited talking about YouTuber merch. And so I bought it. Ask me if I ever wore it once. No, no, I did not. I never wore it. It never sort of made it out of the house, so to speak, because I sprayed that one time on my arm and it would not come off. It's always the shitty perfumes that do not come off.

And it's the smell good ones that are gone in like five, ten minutes. Okay? I love those damn, where did it go? Where did my thought process just go? Where did my mind go? I just, it just, you know Roadrunner? That's what my brain feels like. It's like the skedaddle noise from TikTok. Like the classic folly, is it called folly? Foley artist.

Pronunciation. I've always wanted to do this job, dude. Do y'all know what foley is? Folly? Okay, that doesn't help. Folly. Folly. Folly. That's not how you pronounce it, bro. How to pronounce foley. The following pronunciation is brought to you by pronounce... Don't care. Don't care. Foley. Foley.

Lee rhymes with C. Okay, I've always said it right. And people are like, it's folly. It's folly artist. Fuck you, bitch. Because here's the thing. I know. I know what I'm talking about because I yap a lot. I know what I'm talking about about, I'd say, 69% of the time. I know what I'm talking about over 50% of the time. And those are good odds. Those are good odds.

Thinking about what I did a whole episode on how a fire engine works, you guys are literal fucking soldiers. Thank you so much for listening to what I want to talk about. Because some days I want to talk about fire trucks. And you know what? I hope you learned something. Because I didn't know how the hell a fire hydrant works. I just thought it was sort of pent up. I actually thought it was like a faucet. I didn't realize it was pent up water pressure that just...

Right? Because it's supposed to spray in every angle, get the fire out. Or it's actually not supposed to do that. It's supposed to be a hookup for a fire engine. Okay?

Oh, Foley artist. Okay, so for those of you who don't know what a Foley artist is, you know in old animated films or in old Hollywood films, just anything where a sound effect would be needed to – they would overlay a sound effect over a prerecorded scene. So if they wanted that sound effect like footsteps or like thunder or something like that to be added –

Back in the olden days, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, you would have a Foley artist come in.

and artificially create those noises. So they would artificially create the footsteps of someone running down a hallway, of a thunder crack, you know, those big sheets that they shake that look like thunder and lightning, that sound like thunder and lightning. Things like that is so, oh my God, there's this one very famous video that I was addicted to as a child of someone doing what it looks like to make a sandwich.

And it's this like, I think it's a Disney film. I think it's Mickey. And it's Mickey making a sandwich. And the Foley artists, they have this, it's a side by side of the animated sequence with the sound effects as they're making them in real time. And it's a practice. It's a scientific method of matching up the exact sound

timestamp of what sound you're making to how it was animated or vice versa. I'm pretty sure the animation always came first and then the sound effects were added later. But how fun is that? How fun of a job is that? We have to look it up. I have the utmost respect for the people who do this because this shit is crazy. Does this sound familiar to you?

No way. It's a SpongeBob one. I'm watching this later. How cartoon sounds are made for movies and TV shows. Movie Insider. Yeah, I'm watching this later. It's crazy the way they do it. They get so inventive with the type of things that you use because you would think that what would make those sounds, you know, like you would use a pair of shoes on a table to mimic footsteps. No, bro, that's not what they use. They use anything and everything. You have to get really inventive with how you do it.

and the types of items that you use to recreate these sounds. Very, very interesting. I got into a rabbit hole one time in high school watching all these. And I was like, I think this is my calling. Little did I know my calling was going to be talking to four walls into two camera angles. Okay. Life is funny in that regard. Team. Okay. What are we talking about today? Other than Jojo Siwa and Foley artist. Oh, I was talking about that YouTuber perfume. It had notes of like almond in it.

Come to find out, I don't like that. Oh my God, almond and pistachio. Come to find out, hey, I fucking hate it. And also it was just synthetically made and it was just shit. And I wish I had kept it. I was so fucking mad I threw it away. I threw that shit away because I was pissed off. I wasted $60 of my own US money on that bullshit. I was pissed. And you want to know something else?

There is a duty. Let me preach, okay? I'm up on my soapbox. Just stepped up onto my soapbox. Please indulge me. I've been watching too much Veronica's Cool. I fucking love her, dude. I'm addicted to Veronica's Cool. I think that internet entertainers, because everything is so...

unfielded and it's so unvetted the way that you know when you buy a musician's merch that's through the label there's quality control there's things like that where it's like this is the official merchandise of this artist internet people dude

Internet people can work with anyone, anytime, put things at any price, with any level of quality, because it's just about making a quick buck. You know what I mean? It's not about longevity. It's not about creating quality pieces. And so I actually sat down and I was like, I want to make these muumuu's that I've always wanted to make because...

I wear my muumuu in like a bunch of my videos and I have for the past like four or five years. Everyone was asking me, where is it? Where is it? And instead of being like, here's where to get it and just sending them to some grandma website, I was like, why don't we make our own that's Brittany Broski branded that will connect me to you when you buy it? You know what I mean? Like where you can feel like here's a piece of this thing I love or this thing that brings me joy into my daily life.

The same concept we took with just, you know, a basic Broski Report hoodie, sweatshirt, t-shirt, whatever. There, though, to me, is a line of that if you're going to actually...

even consider the honor of paying for a piece of merchandise that is associated with me, that me and my team have created, you should be getting the utmost quality. Do you know what I mean? And the fact that some people are just blasé about it, it's like, I would be so humiliated.

If I was like, buy my merch, and it's this shitty, just, it dissolves in water, just made of microplastics. Like, I want a thick hoodie, and I want a muumuu that is, it's durable, and it'll last you 20 years. And the zippers, you know what I mean? Like, and of course, with any of these companies, just because of the magnitude of the shipping and wait times and all this, it's never going to be a perfect product.

sort of scenario, but you can try your best to make it as perfect as you can. But it all comes down to the quality of the product and the quality of the print, the quality of the embroidery and the quality of the fabric. That's really what it comes down to. And so when we sat down to do my merch, I was like, we're not doing bullshit, whatever, because I've been scammed by internet people before. People that I've loved, I've bought their merch and it's just been like

3d printed t-shirts like i'm pissed off dude because i spent my money i waited however long for it to arrive i get it in some shitty packaging and then it's socks that are like 3d printed i'm pissed or the perfume i was talking about i'm pissed okay because i would hope that for me your follower and your fan you would put in a little bit more effort in creating you know what i mean

And of course, if there are mess-ups at the factory or in printing or in the embroidery,

I'm not personally there quality checking every single item that goes out, unfortunately. And so there is a margin of error that any merch company is you're going to have to deal with if you're the creator going in, you know, in a partnership with these companies, because I don't have the means to create my own factory. I really don't. So unfortunately, you're sort of forced to work with a company that will take over all the production.

But I mean, I just think that you owe these people who are looking to support you and want a physical memento of your channel and what you mean to them and how you affected them and they want to rep your merch. Oh my God, you have such a duty to deliver.

You know who does it well? Hasan. Hasan has great merch. It's great quality. I wear my Hasan merch all the time. It's original. It's cute. So I think that there's a level to which you can do it successfully. I'm very happy with how the Moomoos came out and how nice the hoodies are.

And for anyone who's bought them, thank you. And anyone who hasn't, I get it. But they are available if you would like to. But I just think it's so weird how the internet is so... How can we make money? How can we make money? Some of the people from Love Island have merch. And I'm like, period, I fucking guess. You know, like there are... That is a fervent fan base who loves those people. And I understand that...

It's this American thing to be like, merch, I want merch, I'd buy merch from her, I'd buy merch, please drop merch. And then in five years, you know, it's like, why did I fucking buy merch from so-and-so who was on some show for 18 hours? You know, it's this like, is there a lasting power? Is there a longevity to it?

Anyway, I digress. I just find it very interesting that I've had my experiences where I've bought people that I love. I've bought their merch and I'm pissed off. I'm disappointed. So at Highland, we're all about celebrating little wins.

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Okay, what are we talking about today, team? We're going to finally analyze my birth chart. So let's do that, because I said I was going to do it last week, and then I cried for 45 minutes, so that's fun. Okay, we're doing astro.cafeastrology.com slash natal slash prenatal vitamin. Create your natal chart here. Before creating a report, please read the instructions and notes below. Don't care. Don't care.

Okay, I'm going to fill this out and I don't want you weirdos to know any of this. Okay, team, we have liftoff. The following table shows the position of the planets in your chart by sign and degree. You'll also find the sign of your ascendant and the signs on the cusp of each house in your natal chart only if the birth time is known. The Roman numerals refer to the houses where the ascendant is also the first house and midheaven is the second.

What the fuck are you bitches smoking? What does this mean? I just need someone to tell me if I'm an unhealed narcissist with... If I'm a limerent, unhealed, anxiously attached ADHD narcissist who has... Like, what are we talking about? I have my penis in the first degree of house Mars. The most personal of these are the sun sign, moon sign, Mercury, Venus, and Mars. Most people already know their sun sign because I'm a Taurus.

If your time of birth is known, you will also find out your ascendant or rising sign, as well as the positions of the planets. If the birth time is on, okay, why don't they do like a... So I already knew this. My sun is Antares. My moon is Cancer. Because I cry a lot. Okay? I cry a lot. My Mercury is an Aries. What is your Mercury? Okay.

Sign mean how you communicate, think, and process information. Mercury in Aries. People with this sign tend to communicate in a courageous and impulsive way. That is true. Venus in Gemini. That seems scary. Venus Gemini meaning...

Those born with Venus and Gemini usually have a much more open approach to both relationships and money. They're not eager to put a label on anything because they know that feelings change along with circumstance. This is the placement of the flirt, the comic philosopher, and the social butterfly. Oh.

What is Venus in Gemini attracted to? I love Google. Google is so period. Like the way that... Sorry, let me glaze Google really quick. Bing, who cares? Firefox, who cares? Mozzarella Firefox, don't care. What happened to Firefox? The fall of Firefox. I used to love Firefox. This is what I used to use. Browser extension disablement.

In May of 2019, Firefox automatically disabled all browser extensions. What, bro? Adobe Flash support dropped. On-device translation in 2023 was really... This is crazy!

Some say that Firefox's decline can be attributed to the rise of Google Chrome, poor memory management, and bad coding paradigms. And look, I was going to say that as well. I was also going to say that if no one brought it up. Mozzarella Firefox.

What happened? Mozzarella, mozzarella, mozzarella. Firefox, Firefox. Mozzarella, mozzarella, mozzarella. Firefox, Firefox. Falafel. Not falafel.

Farfalle. Isn't that a type of noodle? Farfalle. Bowtie pasta. Farfalle. Which is from Fusilli.

Conchigli. Oh no, that's actually a substitute. How to pronounce farfalle in Italian? This is a word that literally means in Italian butterfly. Yes, those are the butterfly pasta. So how do you go about pronouncing this name with the typical Italian pronunciation? No, it's not farfalle, but rather farfalle. I'm so smart. Farfalle.

And you want to know it's not Versace, it's Versace. Guys, you don't know Italian like me. No one speak Italian like me. Don't speak a lick of Italian. But I will tell you something. I watch a lot of art history documentaries.

And they'll dub them in English. You know what I mean? But because I speak Spanish and Spanish is a Romance language and a lot of languages share the same French, Italian, Spanish, Romanian, sometimes English, all share similar root words. Is English a Romance language? It's part of the Germanic language family. Really?

But it's got a romantic influence. English has a deep connection to Romance languages because of the Norman conquest of England in 1066. Dude, if I went back to school, I would study this bullshit. I love this stuff! I love this stuff!

The Normans spoke a dialect of Old French, and the mixing of Norman French and Old English led to Middle English, which has aspects of both Germanic and Romance languages. That is crazy to me. The language you speak today is not the language of 500 years ago. And when we read Beowulf in Middle English, it's understandable, but it's not the language we speak today. It's so, so interesting. Is Beowulf in Old English or Middle English?

Yes, Beowulf is an Old English poem. Beowulf is written in the West Saxon dialect of Old English. The poem was likely composed between the 8th and 11th centuries, but the only surviving manuscript dates to about 1010. Thinking about when I talked about Beowulf with Hosier. All right, anyway. Is English a romance language? Here's the thing that is very interesting. What I was going to point out is that...

I did some episode how many weeks ago where I was talking about this bullshit again of how much I love linguistics and how I love the evolution and development of languages and how language is a living, breathing thing and it can be morphed and changed. And actively we do it every day without even knowing. Someone commented under...

one of the episodes and I was like who's this freaking nerd who is this nerd who recommended this podcast episode it changed my life okay so to whoever commented this I know you know who you are and please comment under this one too it was a pod called the history of the English language and it was episode 133 and it was I don't remember what the title of the episode is but it's about

bread and the significance of bread in the English language. And not only the English language, but about the root pan, because P-A-N in Spanish means bread, in French means bread, in Italian probably has a similar root. And when you think of so many different words that have this as the root or different, the way that bread is the foundation, sorry, do you guys give a about

The way that I do? The way that bread is literally should be considered a pillar of humanity. The way that it used to be used as a utensil. The way that it used to be the sustenance of life. If you had nothing else to eat, you probably had bread. And was it good? No. Okay? But we have been cooking bread since the dawn of humanity, truly. When we discovered fire, we were in there cooking bread. Okay? Okay?

When you break bread with someone, think about that. When you're the breadwinner of the family, think about that. Oh, loaf. Loaf, like a loaf of bread. There is some link directly between loaf and lord.

or lady. It developed into that where you were the lord of the house. It's whoever had the bread, bro. It's crazy. Y'all should go listen to this podcast episode. It's crazy to me, dude. I love the internet, dude. I just looked up

The podcast I was talking about, which is called The History of English. I knew it was episode 133, which was called Breaking Bread with Companions. And I went to the website because it says continue reading. And I was able to pull up the entire transcript of this entire episode. It's 21 pages long. We're going to find it.

Okay, so remember how I was saying that pan or pam, P-A-N or P-A-M, it means bread, okay, the root of that. And there are so many words in all of the languages that have that as the root, okay? So let me go ahead and begin.

You might remember from an earlier episode that a person with whom you shared your bread with was a companion, combining the Latin prefix com meaning with and that word panis, penis, meaning bread. So the word companion literally meant with bread, or more specifically, the person with whom you shared bread. Same can be said for company.

To break bread is to have a meal. An oven used to be called a focus, okay? Like a fireplace used to be called a focus. Cooks also use the hearth or focus to bake bread.

They could put the bread in the ashes or over the ashes to bake the dough. And that little bit of etymology helps to explain the name of a popular type of Italian bread called focaccia. Okay, focaccia is just an Italian variant of the word focus, meaning a fireplace. It's specifically referred to a type of bread baked in the ashes in the hearth or fireplace.

He goes in to talk about how the terms dinner and supper came to be and that bread used to be to sop up the juices. So sopper, supper. I mean, this shit is so interesting to me. Breakfast, how that came to be. This early morning snack didn't have a formal name yet, but in the early 1400s, people began to refer to that snack as a break in the morning fast.

So it was literally a little break from the period of not eating in the morning. And by the 1400s, the phrase had evolved into a brand new word for that meal, the breakfast, or as we know it today, breakfast. So breakfast is a native word coined in the 1400s.

This shit is so, okay, I won't bore you guys anymore. Go listen to this if you care about this kind of stuff. Because I was like, oh my God, he starts getting into, you know, past the actual root of these words, like companion, company, whatever, break bread. He gets into phrases and sayings that we've adopted in English that have withstood the test of time. Why the fuck did I start talking about this? What the hell was I talking about, dude?

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In astrology, the North Node's zodiac sign indicates what a person is growing into and what experiences are necessary for spiritual growth. I don't want to read about this. I'm going to cry. The North Node? Why is it a node? Node represents the position of the lunar nodes at your time of birth. Unlike Mars or Jupiter, it is not a physical celestial body.

Then what the f- The moon has nodes on it, dude. The northern moonal node. They've got nodes on their vocal cords. I got a new life. That was a pitch perfect reference. Okay. Okay. Awkward. Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. I've got this crazy rash going on on my mouth. I don't know if you guys can see it or the bald spot on my head. Guys, I'm, um...

I'm not doing the best. I'm not doing the best. It may look like I'm giggly hee hee ha ha because I had two Red Bulls before this. I had a Premier Protein Cafe Latte protein shake, so there's something in my gut.

and then two Red Bulls. And so I'm... I feel like I'm on a sprinkler head. That's what this podcast feels like, that I'm on a fucking sprinkler head. Do you remember those ones that babies used to have? It was like Elmo, like an Elmo sprinkler head, where he was in goggles and like a snorkel, and his head would do... That's how I do! But once the camera shut off, I'm

Oh yeah, I've been thinking about taking up smoking cigarettes. If you guys have any tips. It feels like a time in my life where, you know, I'm 27. It's time I start smoking cigarettes and waxing poetic or I become a recluse. I shut myself off from the world and I never leave my house again. Instacart, DoorDash, dangerous things for a woman like me. Dangerous, dangerous things for a woman like me. I'll DoorDash $40 worth of Taco Bell right now. And I'll only eat one piece of it because...

I get kind of nauseous sometimes, okay? And my doctor said I have to do like 60 to 120 milligrams of protein a day. Do you know how fucking hard that is, dude? Do you know how hard 30 milligrams of protein is to get a day? When you're not binge eating the way that I used to, I find it so hard to meet any of those. And then I'm like, why am I tired all the time? Because I'm not eating my protein.

See, I thought all you health bitches were just, I thought you were just being annoying. And now I'm like, oh, my body needs sustenance to live? Is that why my lips are flaking off and I have fucking zits and my hair is falling out? Okay. Anyway, Muzudel Firefox. Oh, we were talking about my end nodes. End node. Edna node. Edna node. Is my node infected? Where'd it go?

My end node is in Virgo. That can't be good. End node Virgo meaning. Your life's purpose is to develop healthy routines and embrace structure to achieve your goal. Boring. Boring. And who the fuck are you, WikiHow? I don't give a fuck. If your north node is in Virgo, your life's purpose is to develop healthy routines.

Do I look like a creature of a healthy routine? Does anything about me scream health and wellness? Fuck you, bitch. Also, stupid little symbol. Looks like a squid. N-node. Virgo. What's my placidus? My sun, moon, mercury, venus. Masculine? So why is my masculine? Oh, that's the PCOS, bro. Look, that's the polycystic ovarian syndrome. I got more masculine and feminine N-nodes in my natal chart.

I should have known. The day I was born, the doctors all gathered round to gaze at the wide wonder of the joy they had found. The head nurse spoke up. You should leave this one alone. You could tell right away that I was bad to the bone. Bad to the bone. I don't know that song by George Thorogood. The following table shows the planetary aspects in your natal chart.

Oh, fuck yeah, here we go. Interpretations of these factors are found below. My son is in the latrine with the Venus Mars at 2.44 node, 105 nodes. Okay, so I've got 100 moons, 14 venuses, 3 mercuries, 1 penis, negative 20 aura. Fuck, my natal chart said I have negative aura, damn it. Paying a witch to reverse my aura. Okay.

Birth chart. The birth chart report shows the positions of the planets for Brittany. Yeah, got that. The sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality, and outward shining creative energy. There is something very solid and substantial about Taurus natives. Oh, I know that you astrology bitches are going to eat this shit up.

Hello? Because y'all always ask me, what's your chart? What's your chart? Can you talk about? Hey, I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. I'm going to start self-censoring. I think that's so funny. I don't give a damn about any of that bullshit. Wait, sorry. Bull. Okay. No matter what the rest of their charts say about them, there is something very solid and substantial about Taurus natives.

When Taurus natives work, they work hard. They do it with a steadiness that may rarely be considered quick. Rather, it's a dependable, plodding, and steady effort that has its payoffs, period.

Security is fundamental to Taurus. Some of them actively seek wealth, while others are content to be comfortable. The Taurus definition of comfortable may not be exactly the same as the rest of the signs, but comfort is definitely a driving force. That is true. Taurus natives are sensual folk, and this includes sex, but extends to pleasures in all areas. They delight in the sensual pleasures of food, binge eating disorders, a comfortable blanket, a richly colored aquarium to look at,

Does this just tell me I'm autistic? What the fuck? Okay, Taurus has made like stim toys, richly colored things, interesting texture, the smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos, and so forth. Some might even say they live through their senses more than most. I would agree with that. I would definitely agree with that. Oh my god, I went to spend the night at Drew's the other night, brought my box of stim toys.

You bitches don't understand. You bitches don't understand Mooncat, okay? I talked about Mooncat way long ago. I get PR boxes from Mooncat now. Look at what the internet can do for you. I get StimToy Taba Squishy PR boxes, bitch. Who else wants those? No one, okay? I am the sole sort of market for that. And I'll carry that pride, that badge of honor. I do it to keep my throat. I feel like I spit all in my throat. Sorry about that.

Although hardworking, their fixed and comfort-loving nature sometimes makes them appear lazy. This is only because they separate work and leisure so well. Okay, that's not really true. In fact, sometimes I prioritize leisure over work and then I stress myself out because I procrastinate so horrendously. But you know what? It might be gifted and talented burnout because I was a G&T child and I realized that

probably by like, you know, how a pressure cooker makes a diamond. When I am up to the last moment, it's when I do my best work. If I start on something early and I give myself time to do it, I'm never going to finish it. And I'm never going to put that much effort into it. If it's the 11th hour before something is due, before something is, I'm going to put my whole puss into it because I have to do it. You know what I mean? I am laser focused in on that thing

Procrastinating, for me, and I've never really practiced it a different way, produces a really great product. This is, I'm filming this Monday, okay? It comes out tomorrow. I give my podcast editors, love you guys, maybe 10 hours to do it. Maybe, okay?

I feel god-awful about it, but there's something in me that's like, you have time, you have time, you have time, just whatever, whatever. And then I'll procrastinate. I'll do other things that I want to do, but the whole time that I'm procrastinating, I'm stressed out about what I have to do. It's just a – I –

I think I'm just burnt out. Okay, anyway. It's actually the moon's fault. It's the node's fault because my nodes are infected on lunar Mars. Okay, so actually in lunar Mars, victory, Mercury, I think that that's actually really in the stars for me, okay? 'Cause my sun rising is in penis. Oh, my end node is in vagina?

I did not know that. Okay, labia minora is in Taurus. That makes sense. No, that makes sense. It doesn't make perfect sense. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Although hardworking, okay, yeah, yeah, they don't care. The solar Taurus who has kicked their feet up is rooted there. You'd be hard pressed to get them to move.

Well, I don't know if that's true. I just do what I want to do. But trust me that I am, I know myself more than anyone and that if there is work to get done, I'll do it, but I'll do it on my own time. Okay. You can't tell me to get to work. I'll get my work done, but don't micromanage me. Mental level, you'll likely have the same problem. Tarians stick with things and ideas and therein lies one of the reasons why they are known for their stubbornness.

Taurus is a fixed sign, and they have a fair measure of tradition and steadiness in their makeup that keeps them rooted. Though they are dependable most of the time, this generally shows itself more in habit than outright helpfulness. The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. That's a freaking start chart trait. I am very possessive. Taurus likes to own things. A nice home, a piece of land.

A paid-off car, that aquarium mentioned earlier, a couple of pets, and maybe a solid business. Yeah, that's true. In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that may be considered jealousy by some. True. In reality, there's quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous. Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs. It adds to their sense of security.

I don't know if I agree with that entirely. I do get kind of jealous, but I don't think there's a... Well...

I'm lying. I actually do get possessive, but it's that like green monster. What's that called? The little green envy monster that lives in your shoulders, on your shoulders. Can I talk? I just pulled a nose hair out. We're like, I, as those thoughts bubble up to the surface, I recognize that's toxic and I don't like that about myself, but it's still there. You know what I mean? Like I can't, it's sort of a knee jerk thing. Okay, here we go. Short description.

She is strong-willed. She has charm. And she is tolerant and stoical. Stoical is not a word. It's just stoic. Who the fuck wrote this? Enduring pain and hardship without showing one's feelings or complaining. I love to complain. Stoic meaning a person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or... Is stoical a synonym of stoic? Being calm and almost without any emotion.

The more you know. She likes pleasure and the good things in life. Appreciates the arts. Period. Weaknesses. Obstinacy. Laziness. She can be materialistic. Fuck. Obstinacy. The quality or condition of being obstinate. Stubbornness. Okay, well, duh. Bitches love to say that. Taurus. That's a stubborn sign. They're bullheaded. Lick on my little... Okay. My son is in the fourth house.

You invest much of your pride and energy in your personal and private life, your home and your family. Privacy is important to you. You are naturally protective of your loved ones, including your heritage and personal life. Yeah, period. Advice. Avoid being defensive or resistant to change as you work to build a secure foundation for yourself and the people you love. Okay, great. She seeks fulfillment through creating a solid and secure foundation. That is absolutely true. I want to read about my moon. Yeah, here we go. My moon.

The moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious predestination and the self-image. The moon represents the emotions and the moon sign shows how a person expresses themselves when at home, at ease and comfortable. Okay. Yeah. Cause the moon is, is your like real emotions and what's your, your rising is how you actually present to the world. Right. Cause I'm a Capricorn rising. I've always thought that my hair actually could not be greasier if I tried. That's fun. Um,

The moon is at home in the sign of Cancer. Moon in Cancer has a large potential to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others. Often they are quite wrapped up within themselves. Their memories of the past are outstanding. They look for peace and quiet. Moon in Cancer people are never detached. They cling to things. Oh, I'm gonna cry.

Things and the people they care for. They seek security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. With their great attachment to all that is safe, they are a little leery of change. These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating. The insecure ones accumulate things in an attempt to feel secure.

One of the most delightful characteristics of moon and cancer people is their loony sense of humor. These people can be hilarious. Their moodiness can baffle others, but their unique outlook on life is something most people can appreciate. It's kind of freaky when you read this stuff and you're like, how? How?!

When treated with tenderness and understanding, moon and cancer natives return the favor with warmth and protection. Give them security and you'll take the crabby-ness out of the crab, at least for a while. These people are wonderfully dependable overall, despite their occasional mood swings. Damn! Make a friend of moon and cancer and you will be taken care of for life. It is true. When I give friendship, I'll ride. I'll ride.

Short description, she is likable and sociable, accommodating, devoted, nurturing, and accumulating. Very sensitive to environmental conditions and surroundings. She likes home, habits, comfort, and her little world. Very caring and protective of loved ones. What the fuck? Okay, my Mercury is an Aries. I make quick decisions. I may streamline learning. I can be direct and straightforward in speech, possessing an innocent charm, and can easily motivate others with her enthusiasm. This is crazy.

She loves a heated dispute. Lively mind that quickly understands a given situation. She's very resourceful and capable. May prefer to jump into a decision and may not have much patience with pretense. Good education. She's cultivated, enjoys literature, family life, and family relationships. This is nuts, y'all.

Venus and Gemini people will try to win over the object of their affection with witty conversation displaying just how much they know and demonstrating their diverse interests. These lovers are playful. Some might even call them a tease. They are hard to pin down and they resist relationships that promise to become too comfortable. Even those with their son in Taurus or Cancer,

whose outward demeanor may suggest some reserve and caution, will want their relationships to be stimulating and full of conversation with Venus and Gemini. And let me tell you something, okay? Recently, I was speaking with a young gentleman. We did edibles together. And he smoked something. He smoked a blunt, which is crazy, by the way.

It was like 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. Smoked a blunt. I took him out of the pool and we were sitting outside and I was just talking. That woman on the subway. And his was the type of high where he just was sitting there and he was just like he was trying to breathe. And I was like, don't you think? And then after a while, I was like.

Are you listening? And he looked at me with this pleading look in his eyes like, I can't talk right now. And I was like, defeated. Then it sets in of like, oh, I actually might be the most annoying person on planet Earth. I understand. And after a while, I was like, I'm going to go inside because I understood in that moment. I was like, I'm being a little bit much right now. So that actually makes 100% sense that in that moment when he wouldn't talk to me, I was pissed off because I wanted to talk.

But he was so high, he could not. I understand. Okay. While I'm understanding, I'm pissed off. And that's just the dichotomy and the synchronicity of having a woman with a house in Virgo moon and node. Okay. When my nodes are in Venus, that's going to be kind of a problem. What the fuck does any of this mean, dude? Okay. So I'm a tease. I'm a cock block tease. What?

Yeah, fucking period.

Although they have some staying power, they can be restless and are not given to sticking with the same projects for too long. That's actually very true. I think that's why, sorry to get real for a second, team. I think for a while with this podcast, to be completely honest, I've just kind of, I think I'm burnout across the board. I still am suffering from burnout. And to do this podcast, I got to like jack myself up on caffeine, which I could do. And I come in here and I have a good time.

But I think I'm just in a season of life where this is – and I don't mean to blame all my shortcomings on my Mars being in penis Virgo, eighth house. But I do think that there is some real validity to this and it kind of makes me feel not so bad that I am a person who has to consistently be coming up with new creative ideas. And once you've created an IP –

that you've been locked into a contract with, you know, like with ads and with posting, things like that, where I know that people expect this podcast once a week. If there's ever a week where I don't want to do it, you know, I'm locked into a contract. That's not really an option. So it's a weird thing on a human level to be like,

I don't really feel like doing this today. I would much rather come up with something new. You know, it's not that I want to stop doing this job or I want to stop entertaining because there is an innate need to entertain. Are you not entertained? I have to entertain the masses. But in this specific medium, I think I have to fall back in love with it. So give me some time. Sorry if the episodes have been lacking lately.

I just, I need to, I need to get my mind in order. This episode is sponsored by Rocket Money. Most Americans think they spend about $62 a month on subscriptions, but the real number is closer to $300. That's a big difference. Even if it's just a couple of subscriptions that fall off your radar, those recurring payments you don't even know about can really add up. Personally, I love to pay for mobile games and then forget I subscribe to them. Apparently it's one of my favorite pastimes.

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I've been feeling very like lately. You know what I mean? I don't know what it is. I think something's up with my hormones still. I have a doctor's appointment this week. Something's going on with my hormones and I'm going to get it checked out. But I just don't really feel like myself. And I haven't for like two months. I think I need to see my family. I need to get the fuck out of Los Angeles. I need to go back to the South. I need to see my family.

And not just see my family and like, oh, it's Thanksgiving. I'm here for two days. Okay, I got to go. And like, I want to lay on the couch and just be around my family. You know what I mean? And it just sucks being California is so far from everything that I've ever known.

And I love being out here and I've got great friends out here, but it's hard. It's hard being away from all your friends and all your family, being away from home. And it's also even weirder going home and thinking, this isn't home. You know, when you go back to Trump country or you go back to a red state, it's like, this is not my home. I don't feel safe here. But at the same time, it's familiar. So it's very strong. There's a lot. There's always something going on in my brain, always something that I'm...

Wait, this actually makes so much sense. I'm kind of gagged. I'm kind of gagged at astro.cafeastrology.com slash natal. This is nutso. These natives derive plenty of energy and life force from the things they do, their work, hobbies, and any kinds of projects they take on. An idle Mars and Virgo native is a sorry sight indeed. Fidgety, nervous, worried. All these things are a sure sign that Mars and Virgo people have either too little to do or far too much on their plates. Oh, shit.

There is a perfectionist at the heart of all people with this position. Yes. They'll be the first to deny this, but it's there. They worry when they are not producing anything and they worry about whether what they've produced will measure up. Yeah, bitch, period, actually. Let's worry about my Uranus.

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty. May get overexcited at the start of a task that interests her. At times, her debonair personality can give others a banal impression. Banal is such a great word. Banal. So lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring.

She can be wildly creative with an odd but happy sense of humor and perspective. She is an idealist, easily disappointed by those using power plays to advance. She fights to improve her daily life. She is persevering. Damn, I'm kind of glazing me. Okay, is there like an overall? Okay, here's my natal chart. If you guys want to pause screenshot, don't know. How much, like what is the connection between...

Where are the planets? And how do we know this? Who the fuck sat down and did this? I don't understand. Who came up with astrology? The Babylonians. I should have known, bro. It says damn Babylonians. Are credited with developing the earliest known organized system of astrology, which originated in Mesopotamia around the third millennium BC. Greek astrology, Islamic astrology, European astrology, Babylonian astrology.

The Babylonians, the blalblalblalblalonians, divided the sky into 12 areas, each of which was assigned a figure, a name, and a specific meaning. So they just pulled this out of their ass. Of course they did. All that we know, we pulled out of our ass. Are zodiac signs real? Here's the history. Farmers used the skies as a calendar as long ago as ancient Egyptians when the rising of Sirius, the dog star, Sirius Black,

Around mid-July was seen as a marker of the imminent annual flooding of the Nile. Travelers used the skies as a compass, following the stars to know where to go. And many people used the skies as a source of mystical direction, too. Here's how NASA has described how that logic led to the creation of the familiar zodiac signs known today.

Imagine a straight line drawn from Earth through the sun and out into space way beyond our solar system where the stars are. Then picture Earth following its orbit around the sun. This imaginary line would rotate, pointing to different stars throughout one complete trip around the sun, or one year. All the stars that lie close to the imaginary flat disk swept out by this imaginary line are said to be in the zodiac.

The constellations in this zodiac are simply the constellations that this imaginary straight line points to in its year-long journey. And then it goes on to talk about the 12 zodiac signs. This is not answering my questions. Astrology and astronomy. Here's the difference in my head. Astronomy is the study of the stars and their physical placement. Astrology is how we derive meaning from that placement, right?

For centuries, astrology, looking for signs based on the movement of the celestial bodies, was considered basically the same thing as astronomy, the scientific study of those objects. For example, revolutionary 17th century astronomer Johannes Kepler, who studied the motion of the planets, was at the time considered an astrologer. That changed around the beginning of the Enlightenment in the late 17th century. I have to look up the Enlightenment. Hold on, guys.

Yeah, I'm gonna listen to my bread podcast and read about the Enlightenment later and then maybe read about the Babylonians. I love history. Okay, once Sir Isaac Newton basically turned the sky into a calculator, mathematizing the motion of the planets and realizing that gravity controlled everything, that started a whole new scientific approach to looking at the sky and the motion of the planets on the Earth. Damn, this is crazy.

Okay, team. I think that's going to do it for me this week. If you'd like merch, you can go to broski.shop. Get your merch. If you are not registered to vote, go to headcount.org. Thank you guys for...

listening to me and rocking with me through whatever the fuck I'm going through because I don't know. I've been seeing some signs lately. I've been seeing a lot of dragonflies. Don't know what that means. I saw a red spider on an item that belonged to an ex-gentleman in my home and it was nowhere else. And I think all these things, I'm not one to be crazy spiritual lady, but

I have certain things in my home, you know, like crystals. And I do believe that there is a power to all this craziness inside of your brain into a physical object like that and having it help ground you. Because if nothing else, then just it's an exercise to sort of get your mind right.

I don't believe that these crystals have intrinsic powers, but I do think that there is a connection between grounding your human body to nature and the beautiful things that come from nature. As far as all the different meanings for the crystals, I'd like to believe...

But you never know. You know what I mean? But I do think I've been seeing a lot of signs recently and I Google like, what does this mean? I keep a dragonflies keep landing on my car in traffic. Like how is that? And no one else. I look around. There's no other cars or dragonflies. What does that mean? I found a red spider in my home. What does that mean? And I think I'm in this period right now of.

like transformation and being in tune with myself. And I don't think I've been in tune with myself for a while. I've been on autopilot and it's showing. And I say this dramatically, but I've been sort of miserable, trapped in my own brain. And I just overthink so much. And I'm creatively, I'm stretched too thin creatively. But at the same time, you know, we talked about last week of like the things I want to do, crafts, arts and crafts,

I need to like make something with my hands. I need to make something with clay. And I think I need to channel some of that energy, that like anxious red energy that I have around me. Like I need to channel it into something instead of scrolling on my fucking phone. And I know I sat up here and I preached last week about how you need to get off your phone. You do whatever. I need to take my own advice because I am addicted. I am addicted to my cell phone.

And it's not as easy as just being like, put on a time limit on your phone, go outside. It's not that easy. I think I'm depressed as well. I need to go to the doctor. Okay, thanks for listening, team. Sorry, that's heavy. It'll be fine. I'm going to be okay. Halloween's coming. Very excited for that. I'm going home soon. Very excited for that. ACL. Very excited for that. Chris Stapleton's headlining. And I think Braxton Keith is going to be at ACL as well. Oh my God, one last thing. Song of the Week.

It's called Sounds Like the Radio by Zach Topp. I love Zach Topp and I don't know where he's from, but he is, he to me is like trying to be Alan Jackson and I'm fine with it because I fucking love Alan Jackson. He's from Washington? Is that W-A? Washington. He's 27. Hello, Zach Topp.

Hi to Zach Topp. Don't look at me right now. Okay, let me glue on a lash and fill in some of my bald spots and you let me know what you think about me, Zach. Zach Topp, hello. Zach Topp, do you want me? All right, whatever. I think that's it for me this week, team. Thanks for listening and I love you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Life is full of adventures. Do you take this man to be your husband? I do.

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