63: I’m Building Jurassic Park
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Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Good morning, Broski Nation! Guys, it's 7.40 a.m., okay? And when I sat in this chair and I looked at myself in this damn viewfinder and I realized just how puffy I was, there's gotta be some sort of cure for... I know people take de-bloating pills. I know that...

Yeah, okay. Inflammatory food is going to actually make you bloat. And what did I have for dinner last night? Bread, chicken, and cheese. Okay? Every single day I wake up and I'm like, today's the day that I have a kale avocado salad. Actually, I can't have avocado because my doctor said I can't. Every morning I wake up and I'm like, maybe today's the day I'll eat quinoa.

Maybe today I'll actually figure out how to put quinoa into my protein coffee. Fuck you health bitches on Pinterest. I'm sick. I'm sick. Every time I log on there, PCOS meals. Everyone's like fried cheese pickle with a ham insert with a ham pocket. Bro, I can't eat that. I cannot eat that. What can I, I have PCOS. What can I eat?

Everyone's like, maybe you should try having a red bell pepper and you can dip it into Italian dressing. And don't forget the couscous. Hey, I'll fucking murder you. I will murder you. Sorry, that was aggressive. And with the blended collagen that you need to put into your detox flat tummy tea. And then maybe when you squirt in a little bit of ozempic, you'll start to see results. Girl, fuck you. Fuck you!

I'm pissed. I'm over it. Also, if y'all see this bullshit about Pinterest, like you can do an ad blocker on Pinterest. God fucking Zuck got to Pinterest. The Zuck made it to Pinterest.

I used to say I love Tumblr still like in 2024 because there were no ads. I lied. There's ads. There used to be no ads. And now it's inundated. Every third post is a fucking ad. On TikTok the other day, I was wiping my ass on the toilet, as people do sometimes. And you know, you'll have a TikTok going as you're wiping. And I had one that went

Because it was tea and I was watching like a tea video about fucking something. And it didn't even replay it because an ad started playing right after the fucking video. Oh, I'm devastated. I'm pissed off. TikTok toilet time is a sacred ritual in my culture. In my community, it is a sacred ritual not to be fucked with. And you, Zuck, is it Mark Zuckerberg? I don't know who it is. You fucked with me and mine for the last time.

Be ready to face the wrath of ye old Captain Broski. For all you audio listeners, I've been wearing a pirate hand this whole time. I've been wearing a hook hand. What's going on on Google today? Oh, it's Labor Day!

Damn. What's the history of Labor Day? Labor Day is a federal holiday in the United States celebrated on the first Monday of September to honor and recognize the American labor movement and the works and contributions of laborers to the development and achievements in the United States. Girl, fuck you. Because when I worked in insurance and at the bank, we didn't get Labor Day off. Actually, we got Labor Day off at the bank. Actually, I got fired before I would even know that. So, but I know it's a bank holiday.

Yeah, girl, when I worked at that insurance company, we didn't get any of that bullshit off. I worked on Christmas Eve, okay? I was almost called in on Christmas Day. Like, they don't give a fuck about you. Labor Day, we're so grateful for all of the American laborers. Get your ass in that fucking chair!

I want to see warm bodies in cubicles now. Oh, y'all, I know I spent that one episode just completely bitching about how at my insurance job, all of the micromanagers, we called them sharks, because they would literally just swarm behind you as you were sitting at your desk taking calls. Every morning I wake up and first of all, I hope that place burns to the ground. And second of all, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to have made it out because fucking hell.

Misery. Misery incarnate. Okay, what was I talking about? Happy Labor Day. Happy Labor Day to all American laborers. And if you're not American, if you're not American, I really want to know why you listen to this podcast. If you're not American, drop me some love below. Because what are you doing here? Do you like me? Oh my God. I went to a comedy set at the Laugh Factory like a week ago.

With someone, and we sat in the audience, and one of the girls came out, and we were high. We were in Eddyville. We were in Eddyville. Touchdown, Eddyville. Blast off T-minus 10 seconds. That was me in the fucking audience. And I ordered some food, because you know that food is so shit, but you have to have it. I think I ordered, like, pretzel bites.

I've been thinking about them ever since. This was like a week ago. Pretzel bites from the Laugh Factory. Disgusting, by the way, but like so good. So good. And they were warm and they were salty. I think I got a Coke. Oh my God. One thing about me, I'm going to order a Coke wherever I go. And fuck all these bitches that are like, I don't do soda. One flat tummy tea for me, please, over ice. Actually, lukewarm. It helps it go down better. I can't fucking do that, dude. My doctor told me to start doing...

a scoop of whole body collagen in my drink in the morning. Hey, I'm sorry, do I look like my name's Chad? I'm not doing pre-portioned scoop powder into my protein shake coffee. What do I look like, a meathead? Don't answer that. I literally was like, collagen? What the fuck is collagen? I feel like an idiot.

She's like, "And then you need to start doing collagen 'cause it's gonna help with the PCOS symptoms." I'll be like, "Mm, totally, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh." That video of that white lady who's checking in the people at the hotel where she's like, "Mm, ID please, sir, pull it up here." Oh my God, that video is amazing. Okay, collagen powder benefits. Okay, here we go, Vogue India, let's do it. "I drank collagen for a month and this is what it did to my skin. My skin is fine. I need my puss to work properly."

I take whole body collagen. Does that make my puss work good? Whole body collagen. What does it do? Supports healthy connective tissue, reduces eye wrinkles. It supports muscle repair, joint health, skin revitalization, promotes healthy hair, bone health, increases collagen production, reduce fine facial lines. Okay. This is kind of crazy to me because what?

Let me go back in my notes and see why she told me to do this. Apparently it helps with protein. Whole body collagen helps with protein. One scoop every day in your coffee. Huh. The more you know. Oh, I also told her...

Girl, because this is the bullshit that pisses me off with doctors, right? And I know you're doing your job. I know you have to see 800 people a day. But like, what about me, girl? I'm spending half of my life savings to be here. I went in and I was like, the PCOS is so and for those of you who are new here, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. It's not as serious as it sounds. That sounds like I'm fucking dying.

It's just like a thing I'm going to have to deal with forever. Basically, my hormones are all out of whack and it like causes me to have really weird levels of testosterone and then my progesterone and then my estrogen are just all over the place. I grow like beard hairs.

I'm neurotic all of the time. My hair thins. I can't. I have a sensitivity to certain foods. And then my periods are super regular. We're just putting it all on the table here today, guys, because I love you guys. You guys commented. When I first started talking about the PCOS stuff, God bless you guys, because you told Remy Ashton, who's a friend of mine, but I'm never in L.A., so I never get to see my friends. Dude, she texted me immediately and was like, hey, Brittany. I love her to God's end. She was like, hey, Brittany.

Um, some people were telling me that like, you recently were diagnosed with PCOS and I've been struggling with this for like six, seven years. And I just wanted to recommend a doctor. And I was like, it literally made me cry. I was like, oh, Remy, I would take a bullet for you if you asked. You don't even have to ask. I would take a bullet for you. Just, you know, if it was happening, I would jump in front of it because thank you. It's nuts. So I started seeing her doctor and she's great and she really cares. But it's a whole lot of like,

Because here's the thing about health, right? It's maintenance. It's maintenance. This isn't like, oh, I have a surgery and it's going to fix it. Or like, oh, I have something that I just need to take antibiotics for and it'll go away on its own. No, this is like the chemical makeup of my being is fucked. And I don't really know why or what caused it. But here we are. And I deal with it every day. And it's not like debilitating, but it's annoying.

When I don't know, like, my emotions are always all over the place, and it's because my period is unpredictable. And I've been a regular pretty much my whole life. And for the first time in a long time, after I started seeing this doctor, my periods are predictable now, which is something I've never... But even then, it's like, okay, but a month will go by and I won't have one. And I'm like, so what's going on? It's just basically what I'm trying to say is it's a lot of maintenance that if you already struggle to take care of yourself... And let me just say...

Okay, let's get into it. I was raised in a very like disciplined way. You know what I mean? Like no one's going to take care of you. You're going to take care of you. And no one cares about you more than you care about you. This can be true. But in certain cases, it's not true. And

I have watched family members sort of wither away from just not taking care of themselves, you know, or actively making choices that do not, that exacerbate a problem that already exists. Whether that be autoimmune, whether that be diet, whether that be diabetes, whether that be cholesterol, high blood pressure, all of it runs in my family. Eating things and doing things that directly worsen your condition, uh,

It's way more common in my family than, you know, I'm probably willing to admit. And so I recognize some of those patterns in myself. And this is for anyone who struggles with like a chronic illness or have people in your family who do. It's a hard, sensitive thing. Being in the position of a family member

who is related to someone with a medical condition like that, because it's easy to sit on the sidelines and be like, oh, I wish they would just take care of themselves. Why is it so hard? Like, just do what your doctor tells you. Like, why do you have to? And now I'm in like a very minor case situation where it's like, I just have to take some supplements. I have to stick with a prescription medication that she gave me. And it's all to regulate my hormones. It's so hard. It's so hard because some days I don't want to do that.

Most days. I don't want to sit here and be like, am I getting 60 to 120 milligrams or grams of protein a day? Because usually the answer is no. Do you know how fucking hard it is to get 120 grams of protein in my diet? Anyway, yeah, it's frustrating having to be like, I'm the one that has to take care of me. Because in the end, this is very isolationist and this is very, I guess, morbid. But like in the end, it's just you. Like you care for you.

And maybe that's so – I mean, obviously, you have people that care for you. Hey, do you guys know what I'm talking about? Like, when it comes to a medical thing, at the end of the day, if you're not taking care of yourself, then, like, you're to blame. And I'm having some – I'm struggling with that a little bit, to be completely candid. Like, this condition –

I let it go for a little – like I was on it. Like I was scared to death when I first went to go see the doctor and she was like, you're going to do this, this, this. Don't eat these foods. Don't have gluten. You can't have dairy. All those things exacerbate the problem. Even stuff like bananas, avocados, coconut water. I love all those things. They're very high in potassium, which is linked to high testosterone.

So she's like, you can't have any of those. You need to cut all these things out. And in my mind, I'm like, a lot of these are healthy foods. So here's a doctor telling me to cut out some healthy foods that historically have told me avocado is a great way to get in like healthy fat. Bananas are good for, you know, if your eyes are twitching or like an energy pick me up. Coconut water is a great way to hydrate and give you all this. It just goes out the window because my body can't have it. It's very frustrating. And, uh,

Yeah, man. For the last like month, two months, I've been traveling a lot. I always travel a lot. That's why I'm burnt out. It's why I'm burnt out. And so when I do that, you know, I'm in different time zones and I'm on a plane when I should be taking my morning pills and then this and then I get to the hotel and I forget to take my night pills. And it's just like I feel bad about myself because I'm not keeping up with my health. And then I feel bad in general because I'm not keeping up with my health. So I went to the doctor recently and she was like,

You got to put your head in the game. She basically was like, Troy, you got to get your head in the game. And I was like, coach, this isn't my dream. I don't want to. This is your dream. I don't want to do this. This is a pipe dream, coach. What is a pipe dream? An unattainable or fanciful hope or plan. Yeah, I guess that works. That kind of works there, actually. Yeah, doc, you wanting me to take my medicine and actually do what you say? That's a pipe dream, bro.

It's a pipe dream. It's not going to happen. Okay, you're living in La La Land. You're living in fantasy world. I'm not doing that shit. She's like, the medicine that you paid for? The supplements that you paid for? You're not going to take them? No, bro. You're smoking fucking crack if you think I'm going to do that shit, bro. I'm not doing that shit. You can't convince me with your fancy doctor words. I'm not doing that shit. Okay. I'm going to have grilled cheese sandwich with an extra side of gluten, extra side dairy, extra side of large Diet Coke. Okay?

And then I go back in a month later and I'm like, I feel bloated and everything hurts and my joints hurt and my skin's breaking out. She's like, anyway, me and my doctor are beefing because she wants me to take care of myself. And I'm like, that takes a lot of energy. Don't want to do it. But I will. Here's the thing. At the end of the day, I will. Because I'm more afraid. I'm a hypochondriac. I am more afraid of there being something actually wrong.

than just not doing it. You know what I mean? Like, that actually scares me more than anything. Like, I'm never not gonna do it for real. I'm never not gonna for real do it. I will do it. But I'm just gonna complain the whole time, you know? I love complaining. Okay, let's get into Jurassic Park.

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For free breakfast for life, go to HelloFresh.com slash Free Broski. One free breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life just by going to HelloFresh.com slash Free Broski. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Here's something that I've been wondering for a while. Is Jurassic Park possible? Because here's something, okay? You know, whenever you go to a museum, guys, look in, okay? Look in. It's classroom time.

Whenever you go to a museum, whenever you go to one of those little tourist stops, like on a road trip or when it's like, we're all tallish dinosaur bone in a cave in Utah. You got to stop.

And they have those magnetic rocks in the gift shop and you can make your own little bag of rocks. They have rock candy. You know, these sort of places you get, you can go up to that little machine where it mashes a penny with the like dinosaur head on it. Come on guys, you know this shit. There's like plush snakes. I'm describing it very well actually, okay? Oh shit, Cora just revealed something to me that is really, really hard to get through. It isn't possible.

Jurassic Park is not possible since we can't recreate the ancient dinosaurs if we don't have their DNA. Hello. Yes, we do. Hello. Yeah, we do. Because here's what I was getting at. In those shops, like when you go to Carlsbad Cavern or any of those sort of things where it's like, I don't like my...

And Prospector Pete, isn't that his name from, I'm setting up a bit. So stick with me for a second. I'm getting there. Prospector Pete, aka Stinky Pete. He's the one that was farting hot inside of his box in Toy Story. He's the one that was farting hot inside of his little plastic box in Toy Story. Some of the characters in Toy Story are really, really scary to me.

Toy Story Mattel Woody's Roundup with Stinky Pete the Prospector. If it wasn't for ripping ass literally on camera like he did, why do you think he was called Stinky Pete? Or his teeth like rotting out of his head or something? He just doesn't wipe good? Yeah, girl, Stinky Pete. He was farting acid inside that shit. Y'all remember from the bloopers when he's like, whoo, excuse me, and everyone off camera's like, oh, no, no, no.

If I was casting a live action movie about my life, it would be Nicolas Cage to play me. He would be in drag. Okay. Oh, here's what I was saying. In some of those cavern tours, okay, Carlsbad, any of the other ones where they're like, look at these stalactites and stalagmites. Stalactites are tied to the ceiling. Stalagmites are on the floor. Look over here. These minerals formed from dropping water look like eggs and bacon. Have y'all seen that? This has to be it.

Luray Caverns, Virginia. Here we go. This was a... Have I been here, I guess? Yeah, I guess. That wasn't a joke. The way that the mineral water drips sometimes onto the rock or the stone or the sediment, it made it look like two sunny-side up eggs and some bacon. And when I saw this as a child, I was like, that's amazing.

Nature is freaking amazing, dude. Shenandoah River. Life was over there. Cavern stalagmites. Fun formations. God, these are crazy to me. Like, what do you mean this is just under? This is just under us sometimes.

Like caverns, subterranean marvel of the Blue Ridge Mountains. That is nuts to me. I went to Carlsbad one time as a child. God, this shit is crazy. It's scary. Actually, I just decided that it's scary. This is so terrifying to me. This is how you get down into the cavern. Okay, check this shit. It's like an amphitheater. This is the little thing that they've paved for you to go down into it. It's like a little walkway ramp.

Like, is that the most beautiful thing I've ever seen? Yes. But I'm terrified. And you know what scared me the most is I remember as a kid, we'd go here and we walked around and yeah, it's like eerie and it's kind of damp down there because everything's fucking wet. And they tell you not to touch anything. I remember I touched it and I got yelled at. But this water, it's so clear. It's so blue. There's not a ripple in it. It is still water. Okay. I remember asking

One of the tour guides, when we were down there one time when I was a kid, and I remember being like, can I drink the water? And he turned around, he said, don't even think about it. This water would kill you immediately. And I literally was like, kill me immediately. And to this day, I don't know why. I kind of just took his word for it. Like, yeah, duh, of course you're going to die if you drink still cave water. But why? Why? Because if not delicious, why make it look like that?

"If I can't drink the cave water, why is it Gatorade colored?" "Okay, why is the cave water Gatorade flavored, bro?" "Okay, I'm drinking it right now and it tastes like Gatorade, so what are you talking about, bro?" He's like, "And by no means ever, do not ever drink cave water. I don't give a fuck if you are thirsty and starving, don't drink cave water." Me being like, "But it's pretty good." They have to escort me out. I'm nine.

Okay, anyway, r slash nature is fucking lit. Yeah, see, here's where I teeter-totter, is this to me is, of course, a marvel of nature. Like, that's amazing. What the fuck is that? And what do you mean that's under me? What do you mean that under any, like, highway...

or JCPenney, or Stripmall, there could be stalactites and stalagmites that are thousands of years old, if not more, that have withstood the tests of time, that have survived natural disaster after natural disaster and have remained unscathed and untouched by the human hand. You guys ever think that when you're flying over, like when you're in a plane and you're flying over a big forest, you're like, these trees have yet to be touched by the hands of men.

the destructive and capitalist hands of men. Please, trees, I beg and pray that you remain untouched, that you remain virgin trees, so that nature may run its course, not having been affected by the cruel hands of man. I think that sometimes. Or like if you're driving by a mountain or anything like that, I'll pick a tree that's like really high up there and I'm like, I hope no humans ever touch that.

But then when you look up too far, you'll see like a wire or like a fence or some like weird satellite thing. And I'm like, ah, the hands of men. Hands of men be groping on everything. Y'all grope things that are not yours. Okay? We're not groping nature.

We're not doing that. That's going to, like, it's not yours. Put it down. You think that every little bit has said, ah, the earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name. Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? What the fuck is a blue corn moon? Oh, I was going to look at my astrology chart. The blue corn moon.

Let's do it. This is from caroldegere.com. I don't know who this is, but I'm trusting her with my life. So here we go. Have you ever heard a wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Okay, the guy who wrote that song, his name is Stephen Schwartz, and he wrote it with Alan Menken, and it won an Academy Award. Colors of the Wind did from Pocahontas.

Have you ever heard a wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Schwartz answered that. He always does research for his musicals and had been reading Native American poetry. In a love poem, he came across the phrase, I will come to you in the moon of green corn. He commented, the phrase stuck in my head, but I didn't think the lyric, have you ever heard the wolf cry to the green corn moon really worked because of the association of the moon and green cheese.

So I changed it to blue corn moon, which I thought had a nice resonance because of the phrase blue moon and the fact that there are things like blue corn tortillas. Even though it's not authentic and actually implies southwestern tribes rather than the northeastern Algonquins of Pocahontas, I used it in the lyric and it obviously served me very well. What? So it's not even real? Some fucking white guy created it? You know what I mean?

According to Wikipedia, it has no meaning. The phrase blue corn moon has no actual meaning in Native American folklore. Yeah, dude, because a white guy interpreted Native American folklore and put it in a Disney movie. There's a blue moon? That's crazy. Okay, so that's your fun fact of the day. Blue corn moon, not a real thing. According to caroldegere.com. Okay, let's go back. Oh, that's scary. God, this Reddit thread is so scary. r slash nature is fucking lit.

Flooding in Pakistan causes spiders to take to the trees. This is trees covered in spider webs. That's terrifying. God, this is crazy to me. Okay, I can't watch that. Okay, anyway, back to the fucking Jurassic Park shit. Can you guys actually lock in? You're going all over the place. You're everywhere. I wanna be with you everywhere. Good morning, guys!

That's one blueberry Red Bull down the hatch. Okay, here we go. Okay, we talked about caverns. We talked about stalagmites, stalactites. We talked about all the bullshit. We talked about the gift shops. If you've ever been to one of those sites, like a cavern or some sort of natural history museum or something like that, they will have those bugs trapped in amber. Okay, some of them are real. Most of them are not. Some of them are candy. They will have those bugs trapped in amber.

I want to know, first of all, what the fuck that's about, because I thought amber was a smell, okay? Not a stone. But it was a natural essence, essential oil. In those, there's gotta be some dino shit, okay? There's gotta be some, like, dino feathers or, like, cum or hair or tooth. What do you mean you can't, like, clone it from a- just do it.

Like, yes, you can. Because we're doing all this bullshit with AI and whatever. You can clone dinosaurs. I swear to you. I promise you, you just haven't tried. You have not tried. And you have not put them in captivity so that they can remain unharmed. You can conduct tests. You can monitor them. Okay. There will be failures. And there will be deaths.

But look, the Broski Nation Scientific Research and Development Fund dinosaur team is really on it. And that is something I can guarantee you that there will be major losses. But that Farquaad scene, some of you may die, but it is a risk I'm willing to take. That's crazy. That's literally me. Sometimes I feel like Farquaad.

Some of you, when we clone dinosaurs in Brewski Nation, will pass. You will pass on. But that is a risk I'm willing to take because I want to play with dinosaurs and everyone wants to play with dinosaurs. So who's willing to step up to the plate and take one for the team? You get to play with the dinosaurs. You get to play. Okay? Here's what I want to task you guys with this week is don't forget to play. When was the last time you played? Have you played with your friends? Have you played like...

I was about to say play it with yourself. Don't do that. Well, I mean, just don't do it around me. I've recently got into air clay, okay? Air dry clay. Oh, dude, put this photo up here. Check this shit, dude.

It's my passion. This shit is so much harder than you would think. It is so much harder than you would think for no reason. Like it's just clay. Like what do you mean? You got to use water and all these tools and you have to score it and you have to make what's that called? Slop, sludge, where you combine some clay with water and you make this almost like paste. That's what you use to attach things like walls to trays and little jars. Oh my God, I tried to make this little heart thing

trinket dish, failure. I am a big failure, okay? You got to get there incrementally. So I'm working on these little food pieces right now. I made a cosmic brownie. I made a pretzel. I made a little tomato. I made some butter toast. I made one of those sugar cookies that everyone used to bring to school, you know, the ones from Walmart. I made one of those and I'm so excited to paint it. So I've made some stuff.

I tried to make a little ring dish that's an Ouroboros. You know, I've talked about an Ouroboros on here before. I think it's the Greek snake that eats itself. An Ouroboros is a symbol that depicts a snake or dragon eating its own tail. The Ouroboros is an ancient symbol that originated in Egypt and Greece and has been used in alchemy, Gnosticism, and Hermeticism.

It represents the eternal cycle of destruction and rebirth and the unity of all things, which are constantly changing form but never disappearing. Ooh, ooh, ooh. We're going back in. Read that one more time. The unity of all things, which are constantly changing form but never disappearing. Wow.

Ouroboros is also the name of an architecture that unifies packet communications using a small... Don't know what that means. The snake's skin sloughing symbolizes the transmigration of souls. The snake biting its own tail is a fertility symbol in some religions. The tail is a phallic symbol and the mouth is a womb-like symbol. What? Why does it always go back to fucking? In Norse mythology, the Ouroboros appears as the serpent...

German Gander, one of the three children of Loki and Engerboda, which grew so large that it could encircle the world and grasp its tail and its teeth. And the legends of Ragnar Lodbrok. It is a common belief among indigenous people of the tropical lowlands of South America that waters...

that waters at the edge of the world disc are encircled by a snake, often an anaconda biting its own tail. The Ouroboros has certain features in common with the biblical Leviathan, which is the big scary snake from the Bible. According to the Zohar, the Leviathan is a singular creature with no mate. Its tail is placed in its mouth, and it's described as twisting around and encompassing the entire world.

That's crazy. That's a, you know, symbols like that that are present in so many different cultures and so many different mythologies and texts. It's like it always begs the question to me, who was the first to see it? And how has it been? Oh, my God. Guys, it's 8 a.m. Okay. Can you just lay off? Can you lay off?

When I start, okay, just lay off. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I just woke up. I'm puffy. I'm bloated. We've been over this. We're trying to figure out if dinosaurs exist. Let me get there. In the case of an Ouroboros who, you know, where did it originate and who saw it and was like, damn, that shit's mad poetic. Gotta put it in my holy text. And what do you mean encircling the world? What do you mean encircling the world? Do you guys like National Treasure?

That's two, two for two. Nick Cage references this podcast episode. We're two for two.

National Treasure is such a great movie, and I really enjoy movies like that. Well, books mainly, where it's like Angels and Demons, Da Vinci Code. I've talked about these before. Dan Brown books, where Dan Brown incorporates – it's like historical fiction. It's also like some religious fiction as well because a lot of it is about art history. A lot of it is about ancient civilizations and ancient technologies and –

How they left something behind for us to discover and it was entrusted to so-and-so. But they, you know, all that sort of shit where it's like this rush to find it and preserve it. And there's always some big greedy capitalist corporate mongrel that's like, but we want to sell it and destroy it and make money off of it. And the historians or the fucking archaeologists are like, no, it must be preserved forever.

I love movies like that. So I'm like, no, we have to do it. It was so devastating. It's devastating any time that for whatever political reason or social reason in the world, when people are protesting, of course, protest, that's your right. And of course, support it. But when art is the collateral damage of

When art or buildings, historical buildings are the collateral damage for those sort of things to get people's attention. You know, you have to throw tomatoes or tomato juice on a historical painting or, you know, not this, but like Notre Dame was destroyed. All these sort of things. It's like a piece of me truly dies. A piece of me dies. That is.

That thing, that creation has been enjoyed by so many people over so many years of human history. And it is such a selfish endeavor to deface it publicly to send a message. And while I understand and while I'm sympathetic to that fact that people don't do that unless they're acting out of, you know, I need people to hear me.

It's what we were talking about last week, this tragedy of the commons thing, where it's like you just ruined a beautiful piece of human history. You know, for—it's just selfish. I'm not going to say it's for no reason, because it is always for a reason. And it's definitely an effective way of getting people to pay attention to whatever issue you're trying to bring into the limelight. But—

I just, you know, it just sucks. Like at the end of the day, when anything like that, that is considered in my mind, public property, like after an art piece is old enough or renowned enough, I believe it should belong to the public. I don't know if privately owning art is ethical and I don't know if it's the way to do it. I know a lot of people, it's like the rich person's trade. You know, you trade in art so you can get tax cuts and all that bullshit. I know that.

But there is something that is, it feels very morally unjust to privately own a piece of art that could be enjoyed by millions of people. Anyway, yeah, that happens a lot, especially with

Oh, my God. Y'all see these TikToks that are always like, it'll be a statue of a woman, like a beautiful statue of a woman. And it'll be like, she helped, you know, lead the way for so many refugees or she was a nurse or she was this or she was just this, this pillar of society in her time. She was such an influential and powerful woman.

And they'll zoom in on her face and they'll zoom in on the plaque and then they'll zoom out and show a full body. And it'll show that one of her breasts has been basically rubbed off. And it's so shiny because all the tourists and, you know, whoever has touched her breast. And that's now her legacy is it's the boob statue. Oh, that's actually going to make me sick. Oh, that's actually going to make me like really emotional. Like here is this woman's life being honored, her life's work.

of being just a mother to all, of being a nurse in a time of tragedy, of, you know, stepping up to the plate, whether it be like a feminist icon or just someone who was really influential to the town. And you walk up to it and it's just through all that, through all the effort and through all the care and all the legacy she left behind, the only thing that she is now seen for is her breasts. That's going to make me actually sick.

Every time I see those, they always have that like, it's like heart-wrenching Mitski music in the background. Will we ever be free, dude? Will we ever be free? I know that that is, I don't know. I zoom out sometimes and I'm like, that is an art piece in and of itself. And art has now been repurposed to tell a larger story of that is now the story. You know, here's a woman that dedicated her life to being a public servant and now she's

forever entombed, she is now a sex object to be looked at. And ultimately what she did with her life now is secondary to the fact that she's got a rack. It's like, I don't know, art makes itself and art is not always comfortable. It's just sad at the end of the day. It's just sad. And it makes me sad.

And I hope she gets a new statue that's untouched by men. This episode is sponsored by Dipsy. Calling all romance lovers. If you read ACOTAR, Fifty Shades of Grey, Beach Read, or The Spanish Love Deception, I've got the perfect app for you.

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Insects found trapped in amber, described in a study published Monday in the journal Current Biology, suggests that male mosquitoes may have once drunk blood, too. When small animals or plants get stuck in gooey tree resin, they can be preserved if the resin hardens into amber. Whoa! Whoa! Amber formation begins when certain trees, such as conifers, conifers, conifers, conifer tree, conifer, conifer,

Those are like, they're like evergreen trees. Coniferous. Coniferous forest. Cone-bearing trees, also known as evergreens. Oh my god, I'm so smart. This is one of those things, you're in school and you're like, I gotta memorize this bullshit to pass this class and then it stays with you forever. Stays with you forever. I will know that forever. Oh, a conifer, a coniferous tree. Yeah, it's like an evergreen. It's like a Christmas tree. It has pine cones. What? How did I know that? Fucking period.

beautiful. Elegant pines grow in this biome along with spruce, fir, and tamarack. Tamarack.

In much of the northern forest, the cuneifers mingle with deciduous trees, aspen, birch, sugar maple, and basewood. So these are the ones that ooze. They're squirters. So these trees are actually going to be squirters. They're squirting everywhere. They're sapping everywhere. They're trapping small organisms in their sap. And then they end up being sold at a gift shop, and I'm sucking on them because they're made out of sugar. Can you eat tree resin?

Whoa. Yes. Some tree resins and saps are edible. Gum arabic, a resin that comes from acacia trees, acacia brinley trees, and is a common ingredient in sweets and soft drinks. Spruce gum, a chewing material made from spruce tree resin. I did know that. Pine resin is toxic.

Walnut sap is a sweet, sugary syrup that can be used in similar ways to maple syrup. Yum. Birch sap has antioxidants. Sycamore and ironwood sap, mixed with maple to make it sweeter. Maple sap, of course, we eat that. And peach sap, commonly eaten in Chinese culture for both medicinal and culinary purposes. Damn, so it has stood the test of time.

of human history that humans are going to go up to a tree and start licking it. Humans are going to hug a tree. They're going to eat it. They're going to lick it. And that's just sort of an innate truth that a lot of you bitches need to come to terms with, that we're tree lickers. At the end of the day, we're tree lickers. Some people enjoy drinking sap fresh from the tree, while others prefer to boil it for a brief period to kill any bacteria or yeast.

Me when I spend too much time licking the tree and I get a yeast infection. Fuck. My doctor's like, third one this month. What are you doing, kiddo? Are you wearing protection, kiddo? And I'm like, oh yeah, I'm not touching boys. I was licking the tree. I was licking the tree and it gave me a yeast infection in my mouth. Okay, doc. Cough up that amoxicillin, doc. I'm feeling itchy and it burns when I pee. Can you have a yeast infection in your mouth? Can you? A yeast infection.

in your mouth? Yes, you can. It's called thrush. Thrush is a fungal yeast infection that can grow in your mouth, throat, and other parts of your body. Oh, I can't actually read that. That's going to make me sick. That's going to make me sick. Guys, I need everyone to pause this video and go just like watch a horticulture lesson on YouTube and then come back because we're about to have horticulture time. Top 10 fun horticulture facts. What?

Plants sense gravity. The world's largest flower. Ew, no, that's going to freak me out. That's going to freak me out. That's going to freak me out. Ew, why does that make me sick? Wait, I, wait, genuinely, hold on. Okay. The Rafflesia Arnoldi, the Raphael Arnoldi is the world's largest flower. It's three feet across. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, what is that?

It's 46 million years old bitch. Why do we have why do we have? Dinosaur plants on earth. That's genuinely gonna freak me out. I know I was just talking about cloning dinosaurs and broski nation I'm joking that shit scares me to fucking death. It scares me to death Jurassic Park I pooped in my underwear the first time I was watching that What the fuck? Ew! Ew! Why is he playing with it like that?

It's called a stinking corpse lily. Are you out of your mind? The stinking corpse lily. It is noted for producing the largest individual flower on earth. It has a strong, pleasant odor of decaying flesh. It is native to the rainforests of Sumatra and Borneo. Oh my fucking God. I hate this. I don't know why I hate this.

Oh, because it's kind of triggering some trypophobia a little bit. That is the biggest flower I've ever seen. What do you think it feels like? Oh, no, no. Oh, what, dude? What is this? It's called the death flower. This corpse flower reeks of decaying flesh. Oh, fuck. Bro's got his head in it. It's bioluminescent? What the fuck? Oh, that's not real. Maybe it is. Largest. Oh, we're not doing that. Oh, fuck.

Okay. Peanuts are not nuts. Peanuts are actually related to beans and lentils. Okay. That brought me back down to earth really quick. Oh, God, I hated that. I hated every fucking moment of that. Vanilla comes from orchids. Oh. The vanilla orchid is the only orchid that can be grown commercially for its seed pots, which are used to make vanilla. No way. That's a type of vanilla then because there's vanilla beans. Where does vanilla come from? No way.

Vanilla comes from the cured and dried fruit of the vanilla orchid. The plant is native to Mexico and Central and Northern South America, which is now rare in the wild due to overexploitation and habitat loss. Yeah, could have told you that. Artificial vanilla flavoring is usually made from vanillin, a compound that is cheaper to produce than vanilla from beans. Vanilla is the second most expensive spice in the world after saffron. Did you guys know that?

The price can fluctuate due to natural forces and demand. For example, tropical storms have damaged vanilla plantations in Madagascar, causing the price to increase. Damn. Most vanilla beans are available today from Madagascar, Mexico, and Tahiti. Wow. That's nuts to me, dude. It comes from a, it comes from a flur. Oh my God, get this death flower off my fucking screen. I'm gonna freak out. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Okay. Wow. All right. Well, we really did it today, team. That was a formative experience for me, actually. Why do I hate big things? I truly, genuinely have a phobia of huge things. Huge man-made things, huge natural things. I can never go to that Redwood Forest ever. I'm going to be sick.

I can't go to the Redwood Forest ever in my life. If I ever went to space, I would genuinely be like, just shoot me out. Like, I can't. Just kill me. Like, that is so, so scary. Like, I'm good. I'm actually genuinely very, very good on Earth right here where I am right now. Like, I wouldn't worry about trying to take me to a forest or show me the biggest death flower in the world or take me to space or take me to sea. Even, like, Empire State Building. I'm scared. I'm scared. Okay?

Let's get into Songs of the Week. The album of the week, actually, is going to be Everything is Love by The Carters because this album dropped in 2018 as the third installment to their sort of trifecta of Beyoncé's Lemonade, Jay-Z's 444, and then Everything is Love was their reconciliation album, okay?

Everything Is Love was slept on. They only released it on Tidal for a second, and then it came out everywhere else. They filmed the video for Ape Shit in the Louvre. Okay, this album is something very special to me. It came out in 2018, very transformative time in my life. This is when I saw them on the On The Run 2 tour. Okay, Beyonce and Jay-Z, of course. Beezus and Hova, of course, if you will.

And I made my own custom jacket that lit up. Like, y'all don't understand, I have been beehive for the majority of my life. For the majority of my life and time on this earth, I've been in the beehive. And so when everything is love dropped, I was coming back. I just graduated college, and we were coming back to the States from Spain. We'd gone to Spain as a graduation gift to me. And oh,

My God, I was here on the whole flight and recently I've rediscovered it because Ape Shit's one of my favorite songs of all time. But like the whole album is just so good. 713, Heard About Us. Oh my God. Black Effect. Oh my God. And then Ape Shit, Ape Shit, Nice, Boss. All of them are just so good. And the backing vocals, all the people who collaborated on this album with them, so fucking good. It's

Oh, good. They're so in love. Okay. Everything is love is going to be, if you haven't listened to it, go listen to it. I don't know what you're waiting on because it's a sleeper hit. It's a sleeper album that they kind of made just for them. And I love it and it's great. And it's been on repeat. So I love y'all. I really do love y'all. Thanks for rocking with me today. I don't know what the fuck I talked about. Okay. And then go ahead and go to, yep. Go ahead. Pull up your phone for me or your laptop. I'll wait. I can wait.

Go ahead and pull that up. Go to broski.shop, okay, and go buy you some slippers. Go buy you some house slippers. House slippers are a simple luxury that you can get for yourself. They protect your feet, okay? They keep your floors clean.

And they're just super fun to wear around the house. Go get you some slippers and go get you a house coat. Go get you a muumuu. Okay, we've got Broski Report merch. Go grab that as well. If you care, if you even care, you don't have to, but like it'd be nice if you did. You know, like I'm just like running this country and it's like I get no thanks. Like I'm just running Broski Nation and I'm like funding this fucking dinosaur research project and no one gives a fuck. Like no one cares. So I don't know. Just it would be nice, you know, whatever. And...

Okay, I guess that's it since you guys just hate me. Subscribe to this channel. Subscribe to Royal Court. New episodes coming soon. Exciting new guests. And I'll see you guys next week. Go register to vote at headcount.org if you are not or if you want to check if you're registered to vote, go do that. All right, I love y'all. Bye.