59: Dragons are REAL
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DRACARES VEGA! Game of Thrones theme song produced by Diplo. Game of Thrones theme song produced by Calvin Harris. Produced by DJ Honeybee. DRACARES VEGA! LIQUIDI! VEGA! LIQUIDI! DASTAJOR!

Guys, this entire episode is going to be in Dothraki. If you are looking for the English translation, that'll be behind the Patreon wall, okay? I know some people use their Patreon in different ways. I use it to be language inclusive, okay? This episode, however, is going to be in Dothraki. So if you understand it, congrats. It runs in our blood.

Bro Ski Nation? Bro Ski Nation is actually a direct descendant nation of the Targaryen line. Now, of course, what am I talking about Game of Thrones, okay? The Game of Thrones cinematic universe in Bro Ski Nation is canon. It is not only history, but it is something to be taught in a sort of geopolitical science class because it's something to be learned from, okay? Because

our culture, okay, that of the Broski Nation Targaryens, where being a dragon rider just sort of is in your blood, okay? Being a dragon rider, it's something in your spirit, it's something in your gut, okay? And you just get it. You just understand it. So...

Yeah, most people in Brodsky Nation know that. They have a sensitivity to dragons. So this episode, again, is going to be in Dothraki. And here's a little taste of that for you. Dostoyevsky. Drakaris Veiga. I always say it in such a, like, pronounced British accent. Like, the first part, of course, is in High Valyrian. And then the second part is just the most British, like, Manchester accent.

Lickety sea smoke. Or hideous sea smoke. Okay, guys, let's get into it. Let's get into this episode. I've been yapping for long enough. Welcome back to the Broski Report, starring me, your host, Brittany Broski. Today, Dragon Lord Broski. Dragon Lord King Consort, Lady Brittany of House Broski, Queen of the Andals, first of her name, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, and the Rhoynar, and the First Men.

Okay, so that's sort of my introduction. We have to talk about House of the Dragon. And if you work at HBO or Max or Warner Brothers or, you know, any of the affiliated people who trusted me to interview the talent of House of the Dragon on the red carpet, look at me now. I hope you're happy with who you hire.

I hope you're happy with who you put on the green carpet. And I'm sorry that I misgendered Vhagar. I was nervous. You and Mitchell was in front of me, okay? Wait, can we talk about this for a second? Wait, on the carpet, okay? It was me and Teffy. Okay, so for the New York City House of the Dragon season two premiere, me and Teffy were hired to host the green carpet, which is fucking nuts.

That is nuts because look at the bullshit I do online, okay? But at the core of it, these companies are smart because they know that like I am such a fan of the things that I'm a fan of and House of the Dragon, X Game of Thrones has been one of the pillars of like

me loving fantasy. It kind of kick-started it for me. I didn't read Lord of the Rings or anything like that when I was a kid. So this, Game of Thrones for me in late high school, early college was like, holy shit, it changed my life. And so they hired us to interview talent on the carpet, get socials and get America excited for season two, which I

Was going to happen anyway because House of the Dragon was so good in season one. And what a cliffhanger. And my God, how things have developed in season two. So all that say, they brought us to interview talent on the green carpet, which was, and I mean this when I say this, like I'm not, I talk a lot of bullshit on this podcast. That was one of the coolest interviews

days of my entire life. Like there are times where this job is so fucking stupid and mean and cruel. And like, I don't want to do it. Like, I want to just be like, you know what? I'd rather work at the fucking bank. Like I'd rather just get a normal job. And then it's like, oh, I get to do shit like that. Okay. Yeah. I guess it's all worth it. You know what I mean? Cause I love this job.

I love this job, but I can only take so much sometimes, and shit like House of the Dragon is like, oh yeah, that's why I do this. It was so, so anyway, all that to say, I'm on the carpet with Teffy, and we're kind of bantering back and forth, because I was the representative correspondent for Team Green, because of course, Hightower, we lead the way, but at the same time, egg on the usurper, okay?

Now, Teffy was going to be the Team Black correspondent. That's Rhaenyra, Daemon, you know, the true line to the Targaryen, to the Iron Throne. And so I was talking to all Team Green talent, which, of course, you and Mitchell, you know,

and all the rest of the Team Green cast. And at the beginning, they had me and Teffy sort of banter back and forth, just, you know, ah, some rivalry. Like, yeah, my team's better than yours. No, and then me and Teffy start kissing. That sort of thing. And in it, I said something like, well, we have the largest dragon, okay? Because his name, and I said his. I said, and his name is Vhagar.

Well, girl, they posted that clip, okay? And the Game of Thrones dorks came for me because Vhagar is a woman, okay? And because, of course, the biggest, baddest, scariest dragon in the land is a woman. In the moment I got nervous and I said he, okay? I had misgendered Vhagar to the general populace.

And I'd like to come on camera and apologize for doing that because I did not mean to do that. Okay. And from the bottom of my heart, I did not mean to misgender Vhagar. Okay. I'm not seeing any lip action. I wasn't checking out the genitalia on the CGI dragon. And for that, can't apologize enough. Okay. So all that being said, I checked the comments under that. People were like telling me to kill myself because I misgendered Vhagar.

Dork! You know what I mean? Like, I love this shit so much, but like, dork! Sometimes you just gotta do that. You just gotta call people online dorks. And that's okay. Again, I apologize, I apologize, I misgendered the dragon. But you're a freaking dork for pointing it out, okay? Anyway. And it was so funny. People were like, they're mad at you for hosting the green carpet. They say that, so girl, okay.

Like, I feel like I was, I'm such a fan and it was such an honor to even be brought, like, even if I would have been just invited to the thing, not even working it, that would have been such an honor for me. And so getting to interview talent, obviously that's what I do on Royal Court. And that's what I hope to break into permanently in the future. Like that is by all means my sort of goal, you know, with what I've built here, like

I've talked about this a few times before that I think late night as it stands now and as it has been for the last however many years, decades even, it's a straight white man's game. And I don't think that they should have a sort of exclusivity monopoly over that sort of structure. And I think that people like Amelia and Ziwe sort of took back that idea of like, I actually do

get to attract A-list and S-tier talent, and there is a value in having me interview them because I'm taking a different angle. You know, like I think what Amelia does is so funny, and it works to her personality type and her sense of humor. What Ziwe did was the same thing, and what I'm hoping to do is take a mixture of all these internet shows that I love and

and take my own spin on it. I mean, royal court literally is born, it's a brainchild of my love for Game of Thrones. That's all it is. And so when we sat down to make it,

Stanley and I brainstormed because we brainstormed all these different sets and concepts and maybe it was going to be like an advice column. And then maybe it was going to be, you know, viewers write in and ask their favorite celebrity. And I was like, I don't know if that's, I also don't know what type of talent we'll eventually be dealing with. I mean, I have my, my dream guests, but it's not, you take it as it comes sort of thing. And we had to have a structure that works for every single person. And when you do a job like what Fallon or Stephen Colbert did,

does, it has to be you mold your personality or you amp up or turn down your personality, personality, depending upon what that guest needs. And it takes a really specific skill level to be able to do that. And not to toot my own horn, but I feel like I do that very well in my own personal life, you know, like depending on who I'm talking to or

If it's a family member versus if it's my best friend or if it's someone I've only met once or twice, you know, like I want to give each person there the same sort of attention and and care that I would give anyone. And so I wanted to take that into my job because so much of this is.

obviously, is working by myself. I don't have co-workers. I have a team, but they work for me. Like, I don't have co-workers. And that's why my relationship, my really close friendship with Drew and with Caleb and people like that in this space is so important to me because those are my co-workers in a certain sort of sense, in a certain sort of sense. All right. Listen, Sonny.

Anyway, all that to say, Royal Court is the brainchild of me wanting to mix what works about Colbert and Fallon with what doesn't work about the traditional media celebrity interview landscape. And so how do we marry these two concepts of making it quick and witty and chronically online with A-list talent that I can mold myself to what they need?

And I mean, you know, we just had Charlie. We have a very exciting guest coming up next week and even more exciting guests planned for later this year. We're going to try to find a way to mobilize the Royal Court set. So we're going to take it on the road eventually when it makes the most sense. And so very exciting things happening. All that to say...

Let's get into Game of Thrones. Let's get into House of the Dragon because this next part's gonna have spoilers if y'all are not caught up in House of the Dragon or if you plan it, just skip ahead like two, three minutes, okay? We'll put a little mark in the description of the episode or on the YouTube video when I'm done giving spoilers, okay? So let's get into it. Here's the thing. Aegon, when he was still fully Aegon,

was malleable, right? So we have, you know, the firstborn son of King Viserys and Alicent who steps up, never having been coached by Viserys at all of how to lead, how to rule. Viserys, you know, love him, miss him. Was Viserys the peaceful? He never really was tried in a way that, um,

a hero of a king, quote unquote, would have been tried and come out, you know, valorant or successful. I think that he set Aegon up for failure in a lot of ways, and it really primed the chessboard for Aemond to step up eventually because there's so much resentment there. There's so much embarrassment and, uh,

vengeance that he wants to enact upon not only Aegon, but everyone who ever wronged him, everyone who made fun of him. I think that I really love Aemon's character so much is because you see

loss of innocence and the shedding of the skin, as it were, of this little boy who was a little strange and just made fun of by his cousins, by his own brother, you know, and not really defended. His mother and father were not as involved as they probably should have been. And so do you fault Amon for turning into the sort of villain?

I know people want to say Aegon is the villain, but I think Aemond is, obviously, because he wants to be Daemon so bad. And Daemon is a villain. So I love Aemond's character for that reason. You see what he has turned into and how, you know, pressure cooks a diamond sort of thing. I'm not saying Aemond is a diamond. And can I keep stuttering, by the way? Just stutter a few more times. Maybe you'll get it out. Fuck me. Aemond is a product of his environment, right?

the people who raised him and the circumstances that he finds himself in, obviously. And that episode where he steps up as Prince Regent. Lord! God dang!

'Cause you know they've been planning for this. Him and Kristen Cole have been planning for this. Hello. This episode is sponsored by Shopify. Key and Peele, Fay and Poehler, Rhett and Link. What about the perfect duo when it comes to growing your business? That's gonna be you and Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.

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Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash broski, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash broski now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash broski. This episode is sponsored by Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix sends style so good you can feel it. They deliver all the confidence that comes from a truly amazing outfit without any of the work.

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Okay, anyway, just love that character. What else did I want to say? Oh yeah, Edgarn was malleable. You know, there's a lot of people on the court, on the King's Council, that tried to...

mold him into what they thought the realm needed. You know, you see it happen with Otto Hightower, where he comes in and he's like, you can't give these people what they want. I don't care if they're the small folk, the castle and our way of life has to continue on. You know, you can't spare more livestock for the farmers because the dragons have to eat, that sort of thing, where there is a balance that Aegon was not familiar with, that Otto Hightower was set on keeping

in balance. Larys Strong is another one where it's like, you know, he clearly is the master of whispers. He is House of the Dragons. Who's the eunuch? What's the eunuch's name? Varys, Lord Varys. He's the master of whispers for this season. You know what I mean? And so all these people trying to, oh, Aegon was very malleable. Aemond is a goddamn rock.

He is steadfast. He's not going anywhere. He cannot be manipulated. And that's what they said at the end of the, you know, at the end of the episodes, they do little explanations about the narrative. And that's what they said is he is not easily manipulated, if at all. So I think that just absolutely goes to show. And at the end of episode, you see him sort of realize once again, Alicent was right. He acts way too...

on impulse and on emotion, honestly, on anger, on ego, on arrogance. So yeah. And God, Alison's little solo venture. I really have come to love Alison. Sorry. I thought she was a fucking bitch at the end of season one. And now I'm like, it really was a misunderstanding. And can you fault her for that? Of course you can. Of course you can fault her for doubling down on it. But hello! Okay, anyway.

Those are my, okay, spoilers over, spoilers are over. Now I wanna talk about, you know, if Broski Nation was at King's Landing, and if you're not familiar with Game of Thrones at all, King's Landing is the hub of the realm. It's where the Iron Throne sits. It's where all decisions are made that affect all seven kingdoms. It's where, you know, it's where the shit goes down. It's where shit gets freaky.

And under the Red Keep, which is King's Landing is the city, the Red Keep is the castle that the royals live in. And then the rest of the town, you know, is just the town, I guess. That's just called King's Landing. In the depths of King's Landing, there is a place called Flea Bottom. I might be making that up. There's a place called Flea Bottom.

And it's what it sounds like. It is dirty. It's poverty. It's where really shady shit goes down. There's fighting pits. There's whatever. And I've been thinking, and you know, go ahead and just brainstorm with me guys. If there were to be a crime syndicate in Broski Nation, I've been trying to brainstorm what...

the crime would be. Because I'm not just gonna allow any old regular degular crime. This has to be like, what are we smuggling? You know, what are we as Broski Nation making ourselves useful for? What's our trade? And here's another thing completely separate. A lot of you guys noticed that, 'cause I saw some fucking asshole comment under my shit.

I feel like HRH collection sometimes. Like I see those videos of her and I'm like, she is too much. Like I just, she is just a lot. And then I come on this and I'll watch clips of myself from the most report and I'm like, oh God, oh God. Someone help her. That's how I feel watching myself back. Some of you bitches will comment, why is she always playing with her nose? Y'all ever noticed she plays with her nose a lot? Why is she always itching on that nose?

How about because when you speak sound travel, this is from my choir kids, if you're singing and talking correctly,

Sound travels over the top of your head out through your nose. If you're singing in the right area of your face, your eyes and nasal passage should vibrate. That's sort of, you should feel it in this area of your brain, of your face, okay? When I talk, my nose vibrates. And I know that sounds like, hey, what's wrong with you? But that's how it works. Like just in normal conversation, I touch my nose. I'm not on coke!

I'm not huffing on it. I'm not doing any of the devil's work. I just talk through my nose. Why is it always fucking something online? Oh, you know she's online. You know she's doing this. You know she can do this. Shut the fuck up! I just want to come on my podcast and talk about Game of Thrones! You know that noise that the dragons make when they're about to fucking light someone on fire? I have to call Taylor. I have to call Taylor and blind her with this and let's get her reaction. Okay, I'm going to call Taylor.

Can I do something for you? Can I do something for you and have you rate it? Okay. A minion hat that you could wear. Why do you want? I could get a second one. How about this? Okay. I want to do my Dothraki impression for you from Game of Thrones. Is that okay? And then, so I'm going to do my Dothraki impression and then my dragon impression.

Okay, so Dothraki's gonna be the like, well, I'm so glad you asked. Yes, they're the savage horsemen, okay, and they have a language that they speak and oh my god, it's not Dothraki, it's fucking High Valarian. I'm so sorry guys. Okay, that is all my bad. Yeah, we're live. Say hi to the people. It's giving share.

Here's my Dothraki. It's- but it's not Dothraki. It's actually Hyvalarian, so. Yeah. DRAKARIS BERMITOR! Okay, now I'm gonna do my dragon. Okay. That's all I wanted to show! Okay, so you wanted me to rate that? Could you rank the two and give me a rating out of ten for both? Do the dragon again. Okay, ready?

Well, not because I got put on the spot. You lost your flair on the second one. But it's okay. We can choose the higher number rather than... Okay. Take one is better. That 8 out of 10. 80%. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For the Dothraki slash whatever thing. I will go ahead and rate that one lower.

That's fair. That's fair. Okay. That's all I needed from you. Thank you so much. The first question. You got another one of those? Yeah, hello. And I'm ordering one right now. All right. Love you. Good luck. Thank you so much. All right. Say bye to Tato, y'all. Love you. Bye.

Okay, so we got some outside counsel on that matter because I'm feeling a little self-conscious about my, and again, this is what I'm talking about. It's not Dothraki, it's High Valyrian, High Valyrian, okay? Now, because some of you bitches are gonna come for me in the comments and I don't wanna fucking hear it 'cause guess what? I corrected myself, okay? So now I misgendered a dragon and I spoke the wrong, I called it the wrong language.

Hey there, it's Ryan Seacrest for Safeway.

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God, if they would have had cigarettes in Game of Thrones times, I would have been ripping on them bitches.

I would've been ripping cigs. I bet, I bet Westerosi cigarettes would go nuts. Okay? Anyway, let's get back into it guys. Yeah, so the Broski Nation crime synd- Oh no, no, no, okay. We're moving on beyond the Broski Nation crime syndicate and we're actually gonna touch more on this. And this is the part of the episode where I'm gonna be Googling some shit pretty heavily, but it's because we're learning together, okay?

God, I can't believe I said Dothraki. That shit's not Dothraki. It's High Valyrian. It's High Valyrian. How do you say High Valyrian? Valyrian. Okay, High Valyrian. Because some random dork online says it's High Valyrian, okay? Valyrian. Okay, so again, I just want to apologize for that sort of mix-up. That's on me. That's on me, okay?

Here's the question that I want to pose to you all listening, because the first 26 minutes of this has been nothing of substance. So let's get into the actual history episode here. There are major, major pieces of evidence, I would argue, that could be corroborated to prove that dragons did in fact exist. They exist across way too many cultural legends,

described as having the same physicality across all different cultures. And what I want to Google with you today is what is the science? Stop. Stop laughing. What is the science behind dragon fire? Fire-breathing dragon. We always hear that, right? How in the fucking world, how on God's green earth can a being produce fire? So that's what we're going to Google.

Scientifically, what's going on? Okay, I can't just Google what I say. That is not going to turn up search results that I want. How do fire-breathing dragons work? Oh my God, y'all, this makes total sense. I just read one line of the fucking Google AI-generated response, and I was like, oh, well, duh. That makes perfect sense. Let me go ahead and share this with you.

According to this theory, okay, and it's not a theory if it's true, you can see my mullet sticking out of the back of my dragon head. Can you see that? I use got-to-be wig glue spray underneath my dragon wig. Okay, anyway. According to this theory, dragons eat limestone, which is then stored in a separate organ in the body. The dragon's organs also extract fluorine from its diet.

If the dragon is to spit fire, it needs only to expel both substances simultaneously. The resulting chemical reaction will produce fire. Are you guys rocking with me there? Are you guys understanding what I'm putting down? I can't make it any more clear. Limestone plus fluorine. Limestone. Okay, limestone. Now again, we're on dragons.fandom.com slash wiki. If you guys want to follow along here,

Many legends tell the story. Okay, guys. Taylor texted me and said, your dragon clicks have me. Oh, y'all, shit. It's hot as fuck under this dragon mask. Shut up. You want to know the most embarrassing fact of all this is I practiced that trick.

I practiced that dragon click alone in my living room for about five to seven minutes before I worked up the courage to walk in here and come on God's internet in my dragon head. And then Taylor's going to make fun of me? It's impressive. You bitches don't understand that it's genuinely very impressive to be able to do that. Okay, let's move on.

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Many legends tell of fire-breathing dragons. The first myth to report of this ability was possibly that of Beowulf, but earlier myths already featured creatures that spit flames such as the Chimera, which I've heard of, which is like a dog. Okay, I lied. The Chimera is a draconic creature from ancient Greek mythology. She was a hybrid with the head and body of a lion, the tail of a snake, the tail of a snake or dragon, and an additional goat head on...

Her side. What the fuck? That's not what I'm thinking of at all, bro. That's clearly a fucking lie. Dragon fire is real. So let's keep going. Hard as it may be to believe, there is a possibility that some animals can produce fire. Yeah, bro. Let's get into it. Okay, here we go. The following theories may explain how a dragon spits fire. Dr. Ernest Drake, and who the fuck is this? Okay, Dr. Drake. Okay.

Aubrey Graham, Dr. Aubrey Graham, believed that every dragon has a piece of iron and flint in its mouth, which it rubs together to create sparks. Poison that is sprayed from a gland in the upper jaw is then ignited. Drake then compares the fire-breathing ability or inability of different types of dragons. Joining us today on the podcast, Dr. Aubrey Graham Drake. Drake, thank you for coming.

Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here. Now, Dr. Drake, you've been doing a lot of extensive, really impressive and important research around the fire-breathing ability of dragons. Could you share more of your research with us here today? Bernie, it would be my absolute pleasure to do so. So what we're looking at here is probably one tooth. Actually, this is how this doctor sounds in my head.

This is how this doctor sounds in my head. I'm gonna let go of the Drake bit for a second. We're gonna put the Drake bit aside. This is how this doctor sounds to me. Well, when you think about one tooth, it's probably like flint, and one tooth on the bottom's like iron. It's like, what was it? Flint and what's the other one? Yeah, iron.

And so when it gets chomping real good, it starts sparking and you touch that sack up at the top of that lip too. You touch that sack up on their lip. And so they can kind of do one of these, squish down on that sack and spray that shit and then the flint and iron together. That's how you're going to breathe fire, kill goat and eat it.

Doctor, that is incredible, incredible research. Now, I'm sure you've combed through document after document of historically accurate and what we can assume to be credible resources to come to these conclusions. Now, what sort of meat, what sort of vegetables would this dragon be ingesting after a long day of patrolling, flying around, you know, raising their young? Well, probably something like, because you know they can't swim.

So what was on the land? People. They was eating people. Very interesting. And do we have any sort of understanding or theory, leading theory that these dragons were ever tamed by people? Hell no! Hell no! They would have eaten you like a damn Sunday roast. Get that shit on the barbecue. Flint off poison sack dripping down their... Okay. I turned 27 this year.

Anyway, let's keep scrolling on this dragons.fandom.com slash wiki slash dragon underscore fire. So essentially what they're saying is, how the fuck would they have iron and flint in their mouth? Believe that every dragon has a piece of iron. That doesn't make sense. Who the fuck is Dr. Ernest Drake?

Who is this dude? Born in 1822. Okay, so he was real. He was British. He wrote dragonology. He believed that the few dragons that still remain should be very well protected. And he has no doubt there is no such thing. His books were lately found and published and became the great books we read today. What the fuck website is this? Oh, they're saying that he actually had met a dragon. What are you talking about?

Is this real? Doctor of Dragonology. Doctor of Dragonol- I can't believe I just asked that. Is this real? This shit's not real. Dr. Ernest Drake. Was Dr. Ernest Drake legitimate? Was he valid for real? Dr. Ernest Drake is the fictional author and owner of the Complete Book of Dragons. F***!

Real life author Dougald Steer is the creator of the Drake character and the writer of this and several other books in the series. God damn it. Fooled again. Won't you take me for a fucking fool? You take me for a fool. Yes. Because you believe that Dr. Ernest Drake is the real author of the book of Dragonology. What, dude? Okay, then who is Dougald Steer? Crazy name.

Oh, he's a children's writer. God damn it. Oh my god, I used to have this book! Ah! What?! Oh my god, this is a children's fair! I used to have this one too, Egyptology. Holy shit, I had this book! And at the very end, there was a dragon eye. Yo, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dougal Steer, Dragonology, book, last page. Dragonology, dragon eye.

Or was it on the front? Yeah, look right here, dude. This was one of the pages. Holy shit, this just electroshocked me back to like 2005. On one of the pages, there was this big plastic fake dragon eye. And I remember being like, they stole his eye. We cannot. This is why these creatures hate us. It's because we take pieces of their body like they're totems, they're tokens to be won.

we must coexist in peace with the dragons, okay? Let me into the department of dragonology and shit's changing. I'll tell you that right now. Okay, anyway, going back to what the fuck was I talking about? What was I talking about? Oh, we're gonna go back to the Wiki. Okay, here are some other leading theories. To get serious for a second, guys. I mean, I need you to lock in. Here are some other leading theories as to why potentially

Some animals, you know, like there are bioluminescent fish. There are bioluminescent algae. There are things that happen in nature that we cannot explain. And that is true. Okay. Nature continues to intrigue and amaze us by the day. What's the statistic? Like we've only discovered 11% of the world's oceans, like all the biodiversity in the world's oceans.

Like what is that? Like holy shit. How much of the ocean have we discovered? Have we explored? 5%! All right! 95% of the ocean is unknown. Woo! That's scary! Okay, so if we've only discovered 5% of what the fuck is in the ocean, who's to say there's not dragons in the ocean, guys? I'm just gonna plant that seed in your head because who's to say?

Okay, going back. Here is an alternative theory to the dumbass who said that there's flint and iron in a dragon's mouth and they activate with their sack of whatever. An alternative to the flint saying that dragons ignite methane out of their flight bladders. Now what's a flight bladder? Because I think I got one of them. I think I got one of them, okay? And mine, infected, swollen. Mine's got stones in it. Okay.

My flight bladders got stones. Using a crystal. All right. I'm actually going to skip this one. We're talking about crystals, dude. I need you guys to be fucking serious. Ignite methane out of their flight bladders using a crystal that produces piezoelectricity. Such crystals generate potential difference when mechanically deformed, i.e. compressed. Okay, we're not talking about real shit here, guys.

Piezo-piezoelectricity is the electric charge that accumulates in certain solid materials, such as crystals, ceramics, and biological matter, such as bone, DNA, and various proteins, in response to applied mechanical stress. The word piezoelectricity means electricity resulting from pressure and latent heat. Now, I don't know how much of this I believe, because...

I will say there are some crystals that you can hold and they do vibrate. Like they really do vibrate in your hand. And it's something to do with the combination of the heat in your hand and the energies. Like if you believe in that sort of stuff, I have felt a crystal vibrate. I don't know what that means. And I don't know if it's just a natural occurrence or if it really is some cosmic, you know, this crystal's really talking to me. I got to put it in my ass. Like that sort of thing. I really don't know.

But apparently, if they're saying that solid materials can harbor energy, I mean, everything is made of energy. So there is a truth to that, that every solid or non-solid thing is comprised of atoms, and atoms vibrate. So there you go. Let's move on to the hydrogen explanation. The first explanation is,

Came from Peter Dickinson in his book, The Flight of the Dragons. Now, is Peter Dickinson another children's author? Because I'm about to get real pissed off you guys aren't taking this serious. Oh, he's an OBE. Was an English author and poet best known for children's books and detective stories. God fucking damn it. Fooled again! Damn it!

This episode is going to be called I Fall for Clickbait Seven Times in a Row. Dickinson suggested that dragons descended from dinosaurs, whose anatomy changed over the course of time. According to him, dragons produce acids that dissolve their constantly growing bones, releasing hydrogen gas. Through this, the dragon's body is greatly inflated and has an increased stability even without ribs, which may have resulted in those ribs developing into wings. What?

This sounds like he was doing a writing exercise. It was like, and, and then, and then, and then. Sorry if you guys hear my jaw scraping against the microphone. That's just my dragon jaw. Therefore, the dragon does not really fly, but rather floats. That's the stupidest bullshit I've ever heard in my fucking life. Why would they need wings if they float? And how would they be? That is stupid, Peter Dickinson. You're a fucking dumbass.

Strong gas pressures in the dragon force it to expel hydrogen regularly which due to its high flammability Allows it to breathe fire then how would they have control over it? Duh! Do dragons choose who they want to freaking burn and kill and eat so if they can't control that then they would be a They would be harmful and dangerous to themselves and others there has to be some way to control the fire I'm not believing any of these theories

Let's keep going. Another theory suggests the flight bladder also contains methane, which the dragon ignites via an electric organ. For this to work, however, temperatures of... I need to go on Reddit. You bitches aren't taking this seriously. Like, wiki.fandom. I don't want to be on a fandom website. I want to be on a science website. Like Reddit. Like Reddit. We're dragons real. Reddit. r slash unpopular opinion.

r slash explain like I'm five. Let's start here. There is no... All right, they kind of got me with this one. I'll be real honest. I'll be real honest. Here we go. There is no archaeological evidence that dragons ever existed. So if they're simply imagined, how is it that they're present in almost every major culture and depicted so similarly? That's what I'm saying! Here's what someone said.

There are certain things that are common in human mythology, and one of them is that humans are predisposed to be impressed by really big things. It's easier to imagine a really big version of something that already exists than to design something completely from scratch. Hence why so many cultures have stories of giant humans running around. This applies to other creatures as well. Take a reptile of some sort, scale it up being bigger than a house, and suddenly you've got a dragon of some kind.

Imagination adds other embellishments, such as horns or breathing fire or whatever the local variation is, and they can be pretty varied. Consider the differences between a standard European dragon, a Chinese dragon, and the Aztec winged serpent, but they're all basically big lizards. Similarly, many cultures have stories of giant birds, be it the Middle Eastern, rock, or the North American thunderbird.

This, of course, gives rise to the question of why some animals don't seem to get the gargantuan myth treatment as often. To this, I can only speculate that when one has to deal with actual bears and tigers and jaguars, stories about even larger ones aren't necessary for drama. And then some people are saying, plus dinosaur fossils, dragons and dinosaurs coexisted. Oh my God, there's an animal planet documentary. I don't know, I'm watching tonight. It's unavailable? It got copyright claim by Warner Media? Fuck! What's it called?

I'm just going to Google it. Animal Planet Documentary Dragons Dinosaurs for you guys to watch later. It's called Dragons, A Fantasy Made Real. And it's from 2004. And it has six out of ten rating. Six out of ten stars. Damn it. Okay, so I'm going to watch that tonight and I'll give you guys my review. How are we 48 minutes into this, dude? I have like so much else to talk about.

New Zealand Maori legends include a story of a bird woman, about human sized, that carries off people. Though in that case I think it's more related to the hast eagle, which was certainly big enough to carry off small children. Scale it up a little and you've got one scary creature.

Asian dragons are depicted completely differently from European-style dragons, which were themselves a wide range of dragon-y things with no consistent appearance. There are only dragons in a few major cultures, and most people would not include the flying serpents of Central-slash-South American myth as dragons, nor do dragons make appearances in Indian, African, Middle East, or many other, quote, major cultures.

There is something to be said about that, okay? I do still find it intriguing, however, that across so many different cultures on different sides of the planet, that there is a through line of some winged serpentine creature. I'm going to get to the bottom of this and I'll let you guys know what I discover, okay? There is something to be said, though, about how no archaeological remains have been found. Maybe I should text Cole Sprouse and see what's...

Hey man, on any of your digs when you were doing that shit in college, did you ever find any like dragon bones? You know where I could find any? Yeah, no, I'm just looking to do some research. I'm just looking to do some research on that sort of thing and all that sort of thing. So if you could just call me back when you get the chance. Missing you. Missing you today. But yeah, let me know about them bones. Yeah.

I hope I get rich enough one day to be that crazy rich person to be like, yeah, I'm gonna go buy some dinosaur bones. Just 'cause I wanna check 'em out, I wanna do some dragon bone research. Again, I'll publish a book on my findings and I'll let you guys know. Okay. Also, I just wanna say that the note I wrote down here to talk about this said dragons had to be real, right?

Me, if you ever see me in public and I look like I'm hard at work on my phone, that's what I'm typing in my notes app. Okay, dragons had to be freaking real, right? I look like I'm like a furrowed brow. I'm smoking a cigarette. I've got sunglasses on. I look pissed off. I'm like really thinking hard about something. I'm just in the notes app. I'm in the notes app writing a checklist. And one of the last things on my checklist says dragons had to be real, right? So anyway.

All that to say, if you guys have any interesting factoids on dragons, like really actually, like I'm not, I don't want to talk about folklore bullshit. I want to talk about dragons as a species. How do they breathe fire? How are they doing all that shit? Very quickly, I want to show you guys my new thing. My new thing that I've become obsessed with. I'm just going to sort of talk about it for a second before I show you because I need to prime you. If we're in this universe of dragons,

dragons and mystical things. You know, for me, that's always going to somehow relate back to ASMR. I'm always going to come back to ASMR because that's home. That's home to me. And I love ASMR. I love to watch ASMR. I love to fall asleep to ASMR. And I like to hyperfixate on ASMR. So the most recent one that I found myself hyperfixating on is potions. Let me tell you a tale.

No, that's not how it would sound. I think it'd sound like this. I think it's, or it would be more down here. Oh, yes, a patient. Yeah, yes, a patient. Yeah, I'm finding it. Finding it. Let me find it. You're watching a genius mastermind at work.

If the camera zoomed into my head really quick and, like, did one of those blasted through all my arteries and shit, you would see cogs spinning and you'd see little, like, people working on a railroad in my mind. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! The shit's on fire and, like, they're revolting and, like, tearing down monuments. Like, that's all going on in my brain. So let me cook really quick. Um...

I'm making a potion. Oh, yes, what do you want? Oh, but it'd be much better. I mean, clearly, the potion. OK, yes, it'd be more like this. Really, what's the thing to do? We're doing a potion. And before I show you this, I must explain to you the science behind it, really. What you see here is mica powder. It's at the core of all of this, really. And there is a sort of supernatural quality to the mica powder. This is what makes it glitter and gives it a sort of...

volatile sort of tumultuous texture and make it look like it's alive and it's moving because it's a piece of the ocean and the ones I really really enjoy are it looks like they've captured the the tides of the ocean in this little bottle in this little bottle and they've wax sealed it and they've put charms on it and a sticker a little denoting what exactly is in it and what it does and what the potions qualities and effects are so without further ado let me show you my potions

And you know about TikTok potions is this is like a community. You know, the way that if you watch my, to bring it back to dragons, I did that high fantasy TikTok video where there's someone in there who makes those dragon puppets, okay, blood fucker and all that, those dragons.

This is in that same vein of like the same sort of creators who make Masks or full body armor or fairy wings or mermaid tails and it's actually such good quality Costumery like costuming that is the type of person who is gonna run one of these accounts. Okay, just in general I'm generalizing if you're finding a tick tock potion account

Usually on this person's account there will be other high fantasy creations, whether that be potion spell books, like I said, stained glass fairy wings that they've created, constructed, head pieces are another big one. And they make this stuff to wear to RenFest, to wherever they go, whatever they do. I'm not here to judge, I'm here asking for an invite. Okay, at the end of the day, at the end of the day I'm just a lone wolf and I'm hoping to be brought into a pack.

I'm a lone dragon. I'm a lone dragon rider, and I'm seeking a pack. Okay, so let me go ahead and pull this shit up. Now, unfortunately, a lot of these have fucking copyright music in them, so I can't play them, but I'll play the visual, and I'll describe it for the audio listeners. Oh, hold on, hold on, because Papa Broski, aka me, I don't know why when I refer to myself in the third person, I'm always masculine. King Consort Broski, I don't...

My woman. This is one I found that is ASMR. So I'll describe what's happening as you hear it. Okay. Now this is a heart-shaped bottle. And this person is dropping a skull and crossbones little ceramic pieces into it. Okay. Filling it with a mystery purple liquid.

Added a mica powder now like I was saying the mica powder gives this swirly quality it's just essentially glitter and you drop it in there and when you shake it around or Activate it quote unquote you guys don't give a fuck. I always I just you guys don't care. Let me get through it you Stir it

And it activates and it swirls and it whatever like look I'll keep it up here It swirls and it's this really beautiful almost wave like like the circular nature of when a wave crashes It's mimicking that or maybe how the tide comes in and out very aquatic as it settles sometimes Now look how she's ordained not ordained Adorned adorned is what I was looking for. Thank you, Google.

Look how this creator has adorned this bottle. They've added a beautiful wax seal on top with one of those little stamps, a charm, some rope, and it's just beautiful all over, really. And what sucks about this is what I guess you don't open it. I guess you don't open it, which is about to piss me off. Because now the thing about this is like, why can't I open it? Why can't I just have to play with it? I need to drink it.

You drink it, you drink it. Remember that Zane clip from One Direction? Wow, that's a deep cut. You drink it, you drink it. Anyway, this is just one. Here's another one. People have been asking me about the materials that I use for my potion bottles. Epoxy sculpt is definitely my preferred clay to use. I used to use polymer clay of which I... Lose entirely. Now don't get me wrong. Polymer clay can be highly moldable and you can color them with pastels.

Like that goes nuts, like that's nuts dude. Look at this one, look at this one that, God that's crazy to me, the crystal on top, and these look like the potions from Shrek 2. When they go into the potion room and then Puss in Boots does the thing with his nail and then he does one of these and suction cups his thing and then unwinds it and then he tries to pull it out and it gets stuck and then it breaks the glass and then everyone gets turned into whatever and then you know the doves and whatever.

I love Shrek 2. Shrek 5. Happy Shrek 5, 2026 to everyone who celebrates. Is it 2026 or 2025? Anyway.

Yeah, I like her potion bottles because they look more potion-y to me versus like you just went to Michael's and you picked up a glass jar and you added mica powder. This is a potion to me. Sometimes there's little snake, like serpent embellishments on the outside and they do it in the sunlight so you can see all the, just, I love this and I'm, you know, I'm trying to get more into this. So I might be doing, if you guys want it.

Only if you want it, not because I really want to do it. Not because I really want to freaking do it. I don't want to do it. It's stupid and dorky. I'm not a freaking dork. I'm not a freaking dork. I am cool. And I talk to a lot of straight men that want me. I talk to so many straight men that want me. You guys would be, you guys would be revolted at the amount of men that are coming in and out of my revolving door. Okay? Little black book of men. That's what I've got.

Anyway, if you guys want an ASMR potions video on YouTube, you just let me know because I am ready. I'm ready to drop 50 bucks on all the supplies needed to make this. Mica powder, food coloring, rubbing alcohol, the wax. You need charms. You need a sealant. And sometimes you need rope and a cork.

Look, I'm ready to do all this if you guys will have me. If you want me to do it, I'm not gonna do it unless you guys ask for it, 'cause I'm not gonna put myself out there like that. Unless I can start the video like, "My dorky freaking audience wants me to make these potions. I guess I have no choice." Everyone in the comments is like, "We didn't ask for this. Not one person asked you to make potions." Happy 27th birthday, by the way. Whatever. You guys are freaking dorks.

Okay, I think that'll do it for me this episode, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in, for tuning in. We'll catch you next time on The Broski Report. That wasn't that bad because I can't do Australian. That wasn't that bad.

Guys, CharlieXCX is on Royal Court. Go watch it. And Royal Court's on its own channel now. We used to post it on the Brittany Broski channel. Now it's on its own channel. Go subscribe to that, okay? We're going to be posting a lot more episodes as well as little clips. You guys can just enjoy it all the time because Royal Court is my baby and I'm very, very, very proud of it. Subscribe to the Broski Report if you haven't. Rate me five stars, please, God. Please, for the love of Christ.

Register to vote at headcount.org if you are not registered to vote. And if you are looking for merch, young single seeking Broski Report merch, do I have a link for you, broski.shop. Go get some. Love you guys, and we'll catch you next time. Okay, bye.

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