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Mucho gusto.
ÂżO ya nos conocemos? Soy el virus del COVID-19. Me disfrazo para burlar a tu sistema inmunitario. Mi compa, el virus de la gripe, y yo enfermamos a miles de personas cada año. Pero las vacunas actualizadas lo hacen mucho más difĂcil. No se lo hagas tan fácil a estos virus. Este otoño, ponte al dĂa con las vacunas contra el COVID-19 y la gripe. Patrocinado por los defensores de la educaciĂłn, la equidad y el progreso de la vacunaciĂłn.
Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Hola y bienvenidos a nuevo episodio de The Broski Report con la estrella Brittany Broski. Hola y bienvenidos a todos. Hola, buenos dĂas. Hola a todos. ÂżQuĂ© tal? ÂżQuĂ© onda? ÂżQuĂ© onda, wey?
Guys, get up! Get up! Stand up. Stand up for your fucking flag. And I'm proud to be a Broski citizen, cause at least... What are the benefits of being in Broski Nation? Very few. Very few and far in between. And I'm proud to be... Everyone in the military like, proud to be what? The Broski Nation military is...
Yeah, you know, it's conscription for a reason, okay? But here's the thing is like we're also a pacifist country, so it's really just title. It's just stolen valor. You know, it's just like, you want to be the military? Okay. You're in the broski nation military, I guess. And it's like, well, does that mean I have to go to, yeah, go to war? I don't care. I don't care. It's not really war. It's just when young gentlemen wrong me, I sick the army on them. The next time a young gentleman feels like wronging me,
I will hex his bloodline. Curses and hex. Soon, soon I will become one of the TikTok tarot witches and I will start putting blood hexes on me. That fuck on me. I'm gonna start blood hexing people. You don't get to do that to me.
You do not get to speak that way to me. You do not get to look me in the eyes and treat me like that and have it go unpunished. I hex you. I hex your fucking grandmother. May all her seed be hexed and cursed. Oh, you want two kids and you want infertile? On you, I cast infertility, young man.
She's a brick house. She's mighty foxy, just letting it all hang out. She's a brick house. Who the fuck wrote that song? She's a mighty foxy. She's a brick house. The Commodores, 1977.
Ow, she's a brick house. Okay, here is a lyrical analysis of the 1977 cult classic Brick House by the Commodores. The genres, of course, are funk, R&B, soul, children's music, pop, jazz, rock. There's no way. Okay. Ow, she's a brick house. She's mighty, mighty. Just letting it all hang out. Okay.
She's a brick house. That lady's stacked, and that's a fact. Ain't holding nothing back. She knows she got everything that a woman needs to get a man. Yeah, yeah. How could she lose with the stuff she used 36, 24, 36? Oh, what a winning hand. Cause she's a brick house. She's much of my day. Just letting it all hang out.
The clothes she wears, her sexy ways, make an old man wish for younger days. Okay. She knows she's built and knows how to please, sure enough to knock a strong man to his knees. I know that's right. Shake it down. Shake it down now. Man, this song means a lot to me. This song was arguably the first big girl anthem. She's a brick house.
If a young gentleman came up to me and told me I was built like a brick house, I think I would have to kill him. I think I would kill myself. Imagine being someone's muse and he's like, I wrote a song about you. I wrote a song about us. And he sends you this as a SoundCloud link. She's a brick house. Thank you.
Oh, babe, you should not have. That is so sweet. Oh my God. She's a brick house radio. Let me pull this shit up on Spotify. Lovely day. Lovely day. Lovely day. Damn. These are some great songs. More than a woman. More than a man. By VG's. Superstition by Stevie wonder. Oh my God. Can I tell y'all something?
This is so like, stay with me, okay? My friend Adam came to visit me this past weekend and he showed me a piece of media that I have not stopped thinking about. The show, the show is called Baddies West, okay? Okay, I know some of y'all are familiar. Baddies West, these women have changed my life
This show is crazy. It's just them fighting. It's just them fighting. And I am so plugged in. I'm so locked in. And I've never, I feel like I've entered this arena from the back. Like, I did not watch Bad Girls Club. Like, I've not really. I used to watch Flavor of Love. I used to love Flavor of Love. And what was the one with fucking Bret Michaels?
Rock of Love? Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. Yes. Yes. And do I look like Bret Michaels? Yes. Okay, who yossified Bret Michaels? Me. Who wants to go to Bret Michaels' Rock of Love? That's literally what I look like. Did Bret Michaels end up with anyone on Rock of Love? He never married any of them. It's all a fucking farce. That's Pam Anderson. What the fuck?
If you guys could be famous in any era, what would you pick? Would you pick like trashy 90s? Or would you pick like, like, here's a controversial take of mine. To me, when I was a child, I thought that this video, and I won't play the audio, but I will pull up the visual. This fucking video, you bitches. Vanessa Hudgens, say okay. What year was this?
12 years ago, but I'm sure it came out before then. That's when this was uploaded. The Say Okay music video, and I'm not talking about the actual official music video where they're on the beach and it's Zac Efron and he's on the little, you know, the little, come on, seesaw, little seahorse thing. You know what I'm talking about when they're on the beach and she's like, will you try to feel better? Not that. I'm talking about this one, the exclusive Disney Channel only version
tour BTS footage music video, okay? It's her with baby V with the V coming up and she's on the tour bus and she's looking all sad. I literally never in my life, this has only happened a few times, and I feel it swelling up in my body as I talk about it. A few times in my life have I looked at someone and been like, I would literally peel off my own skin if I could be you. Like, I want to be you so bad.
I wanted to be Vanessa Hudgens in this specific music video so bad. There was a, in Miley and Mandy, Miley Cyrus and Mandy, remember this?
used to make YouTube videos around this time that like all the Disney Channel stars were kind of like late teens, early twenties. And they were so fucking cool because I was 13 and I was like, they're so cool. Like older cousin, older sister vibes. Cause I never had an older sister. I am the older sister. And so I looked at all these young girls and I was like,
Oh, I would give anything. I'd give anything to be you. I used to dress like Miley Cyrus. I used to think I was Vanessa Hudgens. Like, girl, we're not, I'm not even in the same sort of cinematic universe as those sort of girls, which is fine, which is fine. But there was a period in my life where when Miley and Mandy, it's like a tank top. That whole video, do y'all know what I'm talking about? Please, am I aging myself? It's like a tank top.
This video changed me and I don't know why. Okay? Also, the reveal of like Miley Cyrus, teenage Miley Cyrus's closet, like big ass closet. I was like, oh my God, I want to be her so bad. I used to play the Hannah Montana game. The closet one where you had to match it to the outfit and you had to just be, yeah. I was like, she's living that real life. That's crazy. Okay, anyway, this video, this Vanessa Hudgens video, few times in my life have I been like, I want to be this girl so fucking bad.
So to go back to the question that I asked, if you could pick any era of celebrity to like be a celebrity, I don't, it was that weird little like 2008, like Sneaker Night by Vanessa Hudgens. I don't know. It just really impacted me in a really impactful way. That would be one for me. A second one for me would probably be like,
Like Fleetwood Mac era Laurel Canyon, like the legacy of Laurel Canyon, like 60s, 70s, that whole era of like Hollywood was really obviously not what it is today, but like it was up and coming and it was just a bunch of fucking hippies on drugs who like came out here and made it cool and just made music together. And I know they stunk and I know they fucking stunk. I know they had B.O.,
Oh, I know all those, all the rock stars. I know they smell like onions, dude. Ain't nobody in 1975 wearing deodorant. Guys, let's get you some Dove. Let's get you some Dove deodorant, antiperspirant. Let's get you some Native, some Speed Stick. Dang.
I've always thought about that. I'm like, all the cool clothes they used to wear and whatever, I know they weren't washing that. They weren't washing them regularly. I know they weren't wearing deodorant. I know they weren't wearing cologne. Everyone reeked of weed. Good weed, probably. Dang. Yeah, that would be my pick is like that sort of era of like just iconic rock stars. Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks, like that whole era of just wow. Wow, wow, wow.
And I would have been coked the fuck out. Believe you me. Believe you me. Drooling. Half my face can't move. I smell like weed and BO. My gooch probably stinks. But I look good and I sing good. And that's really, at the end of the day, all that matters. Okay? Because smell, you can plug your nose, but you can't plug your ears. What? Okay. Anyway, back to Bret Michaels. This era has always intrigued me.
Like the 90s, because I was about to say something really stupid. I'm going to say it anyway. The 90s was like today, but without phones. Like, why do you all tune into this? The 90s was all the glamour and glitz and like Tinseltown Hollywood. Do y'all know what I mean when I say Tinseltown? Because I've thrown that around a lot. I don't know if I've ever really explained that. Tinseltown meaning Hollywood.
Hollywood or the superficially glamorous world it represents. That's what I mean. Like tinsel, you know, like decorative tinsel. It looks shiny and expensive until you get close to it and it's just cheap. Like that is when they call it tinsel town. I've always kind of loved that imagery that it conjures up of like everyone wants to be here until they get here. And it's like, oh, this is gutted. Oh, this is awful.
Well, it's that time of the podcast where we're going on Quora.com, Quora.gov. The term Tinseltown originated as a nickname for Hollywood, California, and it became popular in the early 20th century, around the 1920s. It's often used to refer to the Hollywood film industry and the glitz and glamour associated with it. In the context of Hollywood, Tinseltown is a somewhat derogatory term that suggests superficiality, artificiality, and a focus on appearances over substance. Yeah!
Hey, yeah, this is what I'm saying. It's like the Hollywood of the 60s and 70s, like Laurel Canyon wasn't this because it was real fucking talented musicians at the peak of everything, like at the top of the game, just like.
living with each other, fucking each other, doing drugs together. Like the sort of Tinseltown nature to me comes about in the 90s where it was just at its peak, like trashy reality TV. Like you're starting to see the rise of the sort of, um,
famous for being famous type of figures just what an interesting time and it paved the way for what we have today which is honestly a weird universe where someone like a me can exist but also you know all the counterparts of people who are included in this internet zeitgeist
Where, yeah, sometimes you're famous for being famous. Sometimes you're famous for doing a thing. And then you get pigeonholed into that thing. I, oh my God, I am obsessed. Obsessed. Those YouTube videos that are like, this is why X brand failed. And it'll be like a celebrity beauty brand thing.
like a JLo Beauty or like, you know, any of these old Kardashian business attempts, you know, like failed Kardashian businesses. And there are these really, actually, let me pull up this specific video. This episode is sponsored by Blissy. Listen up, you freaks. I've said it once and I'll say it again. You need a silk pillowcase. Live luxuriously with Blissy's award-winning 100% Mulberry silk pillowcases.
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This video is called The Kardashians Are Cannibalizing Themselves. The Kardashian slash Jenner Businesses Deep Dive. She goes into each sister's
previous attempts at having a business or having their own thing, joint ventures, you know, like Dash or the Kardashian credit card or all these things and how when one fails, they just keep going. They just keep chugging along. And it's like they don't even give a fuck. They don't even care that like you have upset a user. You have upset a consumer base.
And they're angry and they just kind of let the customer service reps deal with it and then they move on to the next thing. And it's actually a really interesting concept of the Kardashians are the pinnacle of Hollywood and celebrity culture. You know, they are internationally famous for being famous. What a crazy thing. And that's not to say that there aren't successful spinoff businesses like a Skims or like a
Is 818 Tequila successful? I really, I'm not sure. But like this weird concept of they are the pinnacle of beauty, a standard that they have set for themselves that they can't even adhere to. When we have Kylie Jenner crying over, you know, how mean the internet is, when there's a standard of beauty there that's set, I just find that very, you know, it's an interesting concept to talk about. Like, what do you mean it's not attainable? You said it.
That is the topical, you know, they're at Vogue World and The Met and Prada and Versace and Givenchy and all of these just like they are known for being...
rich, just fucking rich with a capital R. Subsequently and alternatively, the brands that they invest in and they push to a very fervorous consumer base are, by comparison, very cheap products, very cheap products from as controversial as the like
Anything from the Kylie Cosmetics brush collection to KKW Beauty's, how little product you got and kind of how shitty it was. And then the clothing brands. And it's just how is there such a disparity between, you know, you think you're getting this, but you're really getting this. And that just to me, it all comes back to Tinseltown.
You can advertise it as this thing where this will make your life more luxurious. You want to live like me? Well, here's a product for you to live like me.
Give me your all you got to do is give me your money and then you can live like me. And then you get the product and you are solely sorely disappointed because it's cheaply made. It's a flop or it doesn't work. You know, it's just so, so interesting. And it's also Madison goes into this video in this video. She sort of goes into detail about how it's all across the board.
I mean, Kylie has tried Kylie Swim. She's done fragrance, I believe. She has Kylie Cosmetics. She has Kylie Baby. Now she's trying to do a seltzer line. You know, it's just like, okay, that didn't work. Just on to the next thing. And that's just not a good business model. But arguably you could say that it worked for Kim because Skims stuck. You know, she's tried everything under the sun. I guess Skims stuck.
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I just find it so, so interesting how these celebrity brands, the mistake they make, okay, is putting your face on the brand. And I think it's also interesting to view this through the lens of internet personalities too, where you're buying something. I mean, for example, with Broski Report merch,
Or the muumuu's like you're buying that because you've seen me wear it or it represents, you know, this show that you enjoy watching. That is directly supporting me and that goes straight back into the projects that I do. You know, like it's just me. It's me and my team that sort of run this little media conglomerate that's just me. It's based around me and me hoping to God that you like me. And it's God honest truth. Alternatively,
Companies like Rare Beauty, Fenty, Skims, they don't rely on the woman, Rihanna, Selena Gomez, Kim, being in every campaign, on the face of every product, packaging. They have moved beyond that. And it works because it's a standalone brand on its own.
With the endorsement of this celebrity who, you know, you feel closer to them and you feel comfortable, maybe, I'm speaking in generalities, giving your money to that sort of brand. I just find it very, very interesting how Madison breaks all this down and a few other video essayists on Twitter.
YouTube have done this as well, where they go into what worked and why it worked and why things didn't work and, you know, how it all intersects with celebrity culture and how we're kind of over celebrity culture to a certain extent. And we crave a normalcy, you know, of get ready with me's and relatability over ostentatious displays of wealth.
And how COVID really turned that on its head. We don't want to see rich people being rich. You know, we want to see real people living how we live. And that is, I just, I find it. So it's an ongoing sociology thing.
It's an ongoing chapter in the sociology book of our lives. You know what I mean, guys? Seriously, you guys. So I just think that's really interesting, especially when it comes to the Kardashians. And the example I gave at the beginning was JLo Beauty. And that whole thing is just crazy, by the way. The JLo situation is just crazy. But it's so interesting because I'm looking at it from this perspective of like,
cultural commentary, not so much as tea. I kind of resent that. Like, oh, this is tea. Everyone has their struggles. Everyone's going through something privately, of course, literally every single person. But from a business standpoint, you know, to create a brand, have it be completely based around you. And then if people end up not liking you, I don't know what happens. What do you do? Like, it's very, it's just so scary. It's just scary.
But I think being perceived in general is a scary concept and putting yourself out there to be discussed is scary. And, you know, that's coming from the horse's mouth. I mean, I do this for a job and it –
I will say that it gets a little easier to manage the longer you've been doing it, where people just discuss you and you can't really have a say in it. A crazy thing, because the instinct is to defend yourself. But if you defend yourself, it makes you look guilty, which is a weird... I just... It is very, very strange. It is a strange time to be anything at all. That YouTube comment? How strange it is to be anything at all. That's how I feel.
But I mean, it's all, it's fun. You know, especially when you're talking about someone like a Kardashian, Jenner, JLo. Hey, they're going to be fine. Hey, I wouldn't worry about it. They're going to be fine. You know what I mean? I see this on TikTok all the time of people are like, I feel bad for so-and-so. They get so much hate. And then someone will stitch it and be like, but they're rich. Girl, lock your phone. And I'm like, you know what?
I get it. I get both sides. I get the human side of like that much perception being perceived by that many people on a global scale where everyone has an opinion on you and your body and your life and your this and your that and your baby and your mothering and your I get it how that can be like, holy shit. But at the same time, hey, you're a billionaire.
hey, you're a billionaire. You could, for the rest of your life, choose to never look at social media again and you would be fine. And so I think it's all part of it's all just, you know, very interesting conversation. And I really enjoy these type of video essays. And I'll mix these in with like, let me go on my watch later. Like some of my watch later videos are body positivity was always doomed to fail.
That's a video essay. It's crazy. The Rise of Medium Uglies and Unconventional Male Beauty. It's another Madison Browne video. Book Talk and Overconsumption. It's by According to Alina. Jack Edwards, who I love. He's my favorite book talk YouTuber. He's got a video called Banned Books and Rainbow Capitalism. RuPaul's Disaster Book Club. I haven't watched this yet, but I was like, dang. Mina Lee is another...
video essayist that I enjoy on YouTube. She has one called The Luxury of Privacy and The Celebrity Versus Influencer Paradox. All these are just so interesting, like just active commentary on what we're living through right now because it's so dystopian and it's so fucking weird. It's nice to have people's
I like to hear people's takes on it because I feel very in the middle of it, which is weird for me because first and foremost, I'm a consumer of this sort of media. And then second of all, I contribute. You know what I mean? Like second of all, I'm a creator.
Just very, I'm still day by day trying to come to terms with how I got here and what it is exactly I do and exactly how much reach I have. It's all, I haven't, I don't have a grasp on it. I really, really don't. So back to Baddies West. Okay. I was watching Baddies West with my friend Adam. This show is crazy, crazy, crazy.
Just crazy. And I was learning all of their personalities and all the lore. And I'm locked in. I am so locked in. We only watched the most recent season. I haven't seen any seasons before that. And I know that a lot of the girls on here are from Bad Girls Club. So yeah, this is something I'm locked into. And then it got me thinking about, you know,
Rock of Love, and then even just simple ones like Bachelorette, all these sort of, I mean, Baddies West isn't a dating show, but it's like this sort of reality where they all live in the same house and, you know, travel together and all that. The only show that I really had like an obsession with that was like this was Love Island. Like the summer of 2018, I
I was jobless. I had just graduated college and I was applying for jobs all day and I was living with my mom. And then at night, I would binge Love Island, UK. I would binge it. Like to the point where I was caught up. Like I was every day, I was waiting for the new episode to come out. Like it was so intense. I haven't had an obsession. Well, that's a lie. I was gonna say I haven't had an obsession with a TV show like that since. That's a lie. House of the Dragon. The House of the Dragon premiere. Okay, so...
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Oh my God, that like truly, and I mean this very genuinely, one of the highlights of my career, of my life, one of the highlights, like one of the coolest fucking things I have ever gotten to do. I think top, top, my top five moments are one meeting Harry, that whole, that whole escapade
Of one night only in New York meeting Harry, his whole team, just that whole thing was just truly, I think, the best day of my life. Second was interviewing Hosier. That was, I mean, like, I'm going to be 95 years old thinking about that. Three, the Barbie premiere when I hosted the pink carpet of the Barbie movie world premiere. And I got to interview all of those people.
From Nicki Minaj to Carol G to, you know, Margot Robbie to Rheingold, just everyone. It was such a highlight for me because it was so cool. And I got to dress the way I wanted. And it was just such a celebration of femininity and womanhood. And it was just such an honor. That's number three.
of number four is this House of the Dragon premiere. I mean, House of the Dragon is my favorite TV show. It's my favorite TV show ever, other than Game of Thrones and The Mandalorian, of course. It's my favorite show ever. And so to be recognized by HBO and Max and to have them
trust me in that way that's sort of the common denominator of all these experiences is yes I am a genuine fan of all the things I've listed but it is a trust that goes both ways of these creators you know these owners of this IP are trusting me with their brand and that means a lot to me because you know this is all fun and games it's silly and and I love what I do but
There's a professionalism there that's implied that if I'm going to be
on the red carpet, if I'm going to be talking to principal talent, you have to have a level of professionalism. And you can still incorporate funny banter and jokes and, you know, be yourself and be silly. But at the end of the day, you're there working and you're doing a job. And so I want to make sure that the brand is happy with what they wanted from me, you
And then I also want to be happy with my experience. And, you know, there's a mutual exchange there. And with House of the Dragon, I just I can't I cannot rave enough about how well it was run, how smooth the carpet was, how lovely the cast was, which I knew they were going to be, of course. I'm fucking of course.
And it worked out so well. It was me and Teffy. Teffy was the team black correspondent. I was the team green correspondent, which is what I wanted because I love team green and I love you and Mitchell. I love you and Mitchell so much. And I love Tom Glyncarney and I love Fia and I love Olivia Cook and I love Fabian. I love Emma Darcy and Matt Smith as well, but hello. It was amazing. It was amazing. And then we got to go to the after party and kind of mingle and it was
so much fun. Just unreal. I felt beautiful. I was styled by my stylist, Kat Tipaldos, who is just amazing. She always knocks it out of the park. She makes me feel so beautiful. And that is the true, I think, testament of a stylist is because I'm a curvy woman. I'm a plus size woman. Can you fit my body type in a way that is not over sexualizing and that isn't, um,
showing too much skin, you know, that looks professional still, but makes me feel young and sexy, but also, you know, she just kills it every single time. She's dressed me for the Dune premiere, for the Acolyte, the Star Wars premiere I went to, for House of the Dragon. I mean, she just nails it every single time. I love her to goddamn death. Okay. Yeah, House of the Dragon. It was just amazing. It was amazing. The show is out.
Season two is out. I'm not going to spoil anything, but episode one, I have not watched episode two yet. And oh, by the way, if you're listening to this, I'm in Ireland. This is pre-filmed. I'm in Ireland right now when this comes out. Episode one of season two, Game of Thrones is so fucking back.
All of the gore and the violence and the just zero to 60 so quickly, it's back. I have missed it. What makes Game of Thrones Game of Thrones is that it constantly keeps you on your toes. And it's not this rug pull. It's just like, oh, fuck me. That was off the bat. It was episode one. And we watched it at the premiere with the cast.
Like that was the first time the cast had seen it too. And it was a really cool energy in this little theater where they had the premiere where we were all reacting genuinely to it. What a just insane, just the best TV show. I need to watch episode two and I guess episode three because like I said, this is coming out in the future. I'm in Ireland. Can we talk about Bridgerton? Can we talk about Bridgerton? Do you guys mind? Are you guys going to be upset when we talk about Bridgerton? Yeah.
find it a little hard to believe that Colin would take her back so quickly. Yes, I understand that he loves her. Yes, I understand that, you know, despite her flaws, despite her being Lady Whistledown, he loves her. There's two things that I resent. Namely, she's been in love with him for years, since they were children. And like,
She asked him to kiss her. That changed everything. And then he realized, oh, it's been under my nose the whole time. You know, look at how she used to write to me. Look at how she's always cared for me more so than any of my other friends. Like she's always been there. I just have thoughts. I just have thoughts and opinions. And then for it to be this, you know, like, I hate what you've done. And he sleeps on the couch and all this. And she's like, I'm going to discuss the wedding plans with mother.
I shall return shortly. And he's sleeping on the couch. Like, I'm just, it's a good trope. But here's the thing, in a book, in a book usually, if that shit's going down, you know that it's going to be rectified later and there will be fluff later. Okay? I feel like there was not enough fluff in Bridgerton season three.
I feel like we had way more angst, way more sexual tension with Antony and Kate. I want, I wanted Colin and Penelope to not be able to keep their hands off each other. And instead, they spent half of the fucking season not talking. I'm angry, bro. And then it's revealed that Luke, Luke, what's his name? Luke Newton has a girlfriend.
If my man was on a press tour acting like that with his co-host. Divorce, babe. Divorce, babes. Divorce. Divorce! You are not going to make me look like a mug in front of literally everyone on TikTok, on the internet. You've made me look like a fucking mug. You've mugged me off. And the Bridgerton season three premiere, you have made me into a mug. I'm a goop. That's pissed me off, that.
"Thugs piss me off, you're winding me up. You're literally winding me up." Yeah, I was floored when I found out he had a girlfriend. Oh, that makes my stomach turn. If my man was on a worldwide press tour acting like that, we just go . Holy shit. Anyway. Yeah, I mean, I think the ending was like, oh, cutesy. Wouldn't have happened though. You wanna know the historically, biblically accurate ending of Bridgerton? The queen would have killed all of them.
You're talking shit about the royal family? You're dead. You died. All there's an anonymous fucking, first of all, they would have found Lady Whistledown. It wouldn't have taken fucking Cressida Cowper being like,
talking to one random little intern at that fucking shop. That's how you find it out? No, girl, the queen would have found out years ago. This would not have gone on as long as it did if we were actually in, you know, historically accurate times. If someone was writing a drama and tea column about the royal family, they would be shot, guillotined even. You know what I hate? Americans say guillotine.
Not how the L is pronounced, brother. Let's see how... See, that's not right. That is not right. That's British. French pronunciation of guillotine. Guillotine. Guillotine. Guillotine. Guillotine. The guillotine. Whenever someone says guillotine, you sound fucking stupid, girl. You sound dumb and stupid. Ain't no guillotine, it's guillotine. Guillotine.
Guillotine. Guillotine. I could speak French if I wanted to. How to say, do you want me in German? How to say hello sir in German? How to say hello in German? How to say hi in Korean? Isn't that it? No. Hello.
How to say thank you in Korean. Yes, bro! How to say "Do you want me?" in French.
I'm going to Paris in July 7th, I think. Me to the fucking passport agent. What? What? Do you have your passport? Go, walk. I speak English. Ha ha ha ha!
- That's the worst. - When you're in a foreign country and you're trying to speak to them in their native language and they go, "I speak English." Great, so do I. Okay, do you want me? Okay, glad we got over that language barrier. Do you want me? Do you find anything about my physical person attractive? Are you sexually attracted to me right now? Are you trying to keep it in your pants? Ma'am, can I see your passport? Woc. Thank you, Woc. Next, next. How to say next in French? Sovant.
Suivante. Suivante. Suivante. Suivante. Suivante. Suivante. Ma'am, take your passport. Thank you. Suivante. Me like slowly buttoning back up my top, my blouse. Suivante. Anyway. Popular French sayings. C'est la vie. Bonjour. Chacun voit. Chacun voit midi Ă sa porte. What does that mean?
Everyone sees noon at his doorstep. What? When a francophone is, francophone means French speaking person, thank you, is speaking as if their own experiences are universal. Chacun voit midi Ă sa porte. Serves as a, don't edge me, bro. Is that how you say it? A la vache. Oh, the cow. A la vache is a versatile interjection. I've actually heard this before and you want to know actually how I know this? It's because
I was in the famous musical comedy Spamalot, of course, based on Monty Python's Spamalot. I'm in high school and of course I auditioned to be the lead woman and they made me cross-dress as an old man. Now, this is nothing I haven't done before. It's nothing I'm not comfortable with. It's honestly kind of my natural state of being. They made me cross-dress as an old man who had a son.
They also made me cross-dress as a knight. I was three different characters, all of them men, okay? Not a single one was a woman. I acted as... There's this scene where King Arthur and all of his knights of Camelot go up to this castle, and it's like a French castle. And there's these funny little guards. There's four of them. And we're supposed to be French guards. And we had French accents. And there was this scene where they said something about, like,
I can't remember. But basically the gag was, we're at the top of this castle and they're trying to get in at the bottom. And one of the lines in the song is, "A la vache!" And we throw a cow over the top and it like hits all of them and knocks them out like bowling pins. That's how I know about "A la vache," oh the cow.
People use it to express surprise, disappointment, or admiration, much like "oh my god" in English. Other similar expressions include "oh la la," "ah zut," and "dis donc au pif" . Pif is a crude slang word for nose. We need to get into French slang. We need to incorporate French slang into American vernacular. Doing something by the nose is guessing or estimating.
Au-pif can be used when you would use about, roughly, or at random. Examples. There are about 25 people. I chose the meal at random. There are about 25 people. Il y a 25 jeunes au-pif. J'ai choisi le repas au-pif. I chose the meal at random. These are great. Where's the one I wanted? Everyone sees noon at their door. Yeah, let's go back to this one. Chacun voit midi Ă sa porte.
When a Francophone is speaking as if their own experiences are universal, Chacun voit midi Ă , au support serves as a reminder that their perspective is limited. After all, even time is not universal. It may be noon in Chicago, but it's one in New York and seven in Paris. Everyone sees me. I like this one. How do you say it? Chacun voit midi. I'm going to teach you guys how to say this. Pronunciation.
What the fuck? That's how you say it, guys. Let's read this again. When a francophone is speaking as if their own experiences are universal...
Chacun voit midi Ă sa porte serves as a reminder that their perspective is limited. Everyone sees noon at their door. After all, even time is not universal. I like that one. Okay, I'm done. I'm done with French. Let's look up German sayings. Popular German sayings. Das ist mir wirst. German's not a real language. Das ist nicht mein Bier. It's none of my business. Das ist doch zu wansen.
Dr. Watson, the cheapest is always the most expensive. This saying is a reminder to invest in quality. Thank you. Thank you. Here are some Spanish phrases I know off the top of my head. No vales para pura verga wey. Stop! No vales para pura verga wey.
You fucking suck, dude. That's what that kind of means. You could also say... Let me think what I got in the tank. What's in my little reservoir? Vale la pena? To be worth it? Like it was worth it? Se vale la pena? You could say... Let me look up some and let me see what I know. Actually, to go back to Bridgerton for a second, can we just talk really quickly about... Okay, the next season, obviously, they're paving the way for it to be Benedict, which...
I'm a Benedict believer. I'm a Benedict sympathizer. What the fuck is this threesome storyline that they're pushing? Look, I'm all for finding your freak. Let your freak flag fly. But what the fuck? And then the girl falling in love with him and him being like, I'm gay now. What are you talking about? What? I just, it just came out of nowhere.
This season felt really kind of disjointed. I still enjoyed it. Like, I enjoyed it. I loved returning to the Bridgerton sort of universe. But it came out of nowhere, his storyline, I felt. And then I don't know where they're going to take it in season four because I need to see him yearn. And this woman felt like his type to yearn for, right?
a fucking freak who's like an outspoken woman who's got her own thing going. She's a little older. Also, why does Benedict look older than Antony? And he's supposed to be younger. I don't know why they casted it like that, but need him. I need Luke Thompson desperately and with a sort of religious fervor that, you know, can't really go into detail on here because it will be demonetized, but I do need him. I'm nervous about his season because what are they going to make him do? What?
Free Luke Thompson. They're like, and in season four, he's a furry. Okay, so you guys casted that without even hitting my line? You casted Luke Thompson as a furry without hitting my line and consulting me? Whatever, bro. No vales para puta verga, wey. Anyway, I am excited about whatever that's going to be because Brooke and I have been texting because she's reading his book.
And I don't know how closely Bridgerton and Shondaland is sticking to the books. I really don't know. But I would like to be pleasantly surprised because I love Luke Thompson badly and desperately. Okay, guys, enough fucking yapping. Let's get into the songs of the week. Songs of the week. I am happy to be alive. I am enjoying the summertime vibes. And I've been listening to what I would call happy young dad music.
Okay, this is like the good men that love being a father and love their wives more than anything. It's that sort of vibe. Like they don't have any baggage. They're just very normal. And I'm jealous of them. Okay, because a straight man in love who worships the ground his wife walks on has to be the happiest man alive. And I'm jealous of that. Okay, so here's that type of music. The Teske Brothers.
I've talked about the Teske brothers before. I love them to goddamn death. I've just been listening to a lot of the Teske brothers just indiscriminately. I've talked about Rain before. It's one of my favorite songs by them. So caught up. They've got so many. I like to watch their live videos on YouTube. Very, very great. I'm into this new band called The Dip. It's a similar sort of vibe to the Teske brothers. There you have a song called Sure Don't Miss You.
And then alternatively, this is not so much the dad music anymore. This is just like summer vibe. Like it's summer and I'm in my car with the windows down and the sun warming my skin and the winds whipping my hair around and we're driving to the PCH. Being So Normal by Peach Pit is number one. And then number two is Hospital Beach by this band called the Cottonwood Firing Squad. Crazy name. But that song goes nuts.
Okay, so those are my songs of the week. It's summer and I'm happy to be live and y'all hate to see it. Y'all hate to see me just freaking my shit online and offline. You hate to see it and you want me dead and it shows. All right, next week we're going to look up how does a volcano work and why? Because that's in my notes apparently. That's in my notes. So we'll get to that eventually. I know you guys have been waiting on that. Okay, wish me luck. I'm in Ireland and...
Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see if the Irishmen are biting. We'll see if the Irishmen are trying to bite off a hunk to chew. The answer is probably no, but never hurts to try. Okay, loving you guys. Seriously, be good. Go get your Moomoos. Go get your Broski Report merch at broski.shop. Go watch my show, Royal Court. Register to vote. If you are not registered to vote at headcount.org. And I love y'all.
I also make YouTube videos every week. Go watch those. They're on the Brittany Broski channel. Just go. I have so much content out there for you guys. You guys don't even know. You don't even know about it. Okay, love you, bye. At Leidos, a brilliant mind is smart, but a brilliant team is smarter.
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