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cover of episode 27: Free Me from Jacob Elordi

27: Free Me from Jacob Elordi

2023/11/21
logo of podcast The Broski Report with Brittany Broski

The Broski Report with Brittany Broski

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Los virus del COVID-19 burlan a tu sistema inmunitario para enfermarte. Las vacunas actualizadas te protegen. Ponte al día con las vacunas contra el COVID-19 y la gripe. Patrocinado por los defensores de la educación, la equidad y el progreso de la vacunación. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California. This is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski.

Hey guys, welcome back to the broski report. Sorry to meet your host, Brittany Broski. I've got like a big ball and snotty gross mucus in the back of my throat. So if you hear that this whole episode, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, okay? Right before, I need everyone to know, right before filming this, ew, and it's probably on my fucking elbow, a spider the size of my thumb. That's an exaggeration. Of the, the, yeah, about the pad of my thumb.

Crawled across this table. Ew, I just got a chill down my fucking spine! Crawled across this table right at me. It came up over the edge right here by the mickey phone, past me, coming around the laptop court, it's coming around the phone, right here. And I ripped my slipper off and I wham, wham, wham! And there's still a spider leg on the table, okay? I almost had the big one. You ever heard that phrase? Had the big one? Like a heart attack? Like had the big heart attack that'll take you out?

I wonder if it's still on my... Oh yeah, there it is. You see it? It's on my slipper right there. It was hairy! You know what's always my fucking fear when I like see a spider like that? Is it pregnant? That bitch is full of... Have you ever... Have you ever seen a spider? One of those... When someone kills... Oh my god, the fucking hair on the back of my neck. When you kill a pregnant spider and the babies... It like cracks the sack on their back and the babies go...

Oh, I'm itching. I'm fucking itching everywhere, dude. That's always my fear. I see a spider and it's crawling towards me. Oh my God. If I kill it, are the babies going to kill me? Is the big spider going to kill me and suck my blood and the babies are going to feast on my flesh? Feast on my corpse, bitch. Oh my God. And the leg is still on the table and I can't wipe it up. I'm going to have to fucking freak out. Okay, so anyway, I have a couple things to talk to you guys about this week.

First and foremost, let me just get it off my chest because I literally just came from the movie theater. I just, I went to a 9.30 showing of this film and I just got back and it's 12.30. I live right next to a movie theater so it's actually kind of slay because I'm not like a film girl. But bitch, I'll go to the local AMC. Can you guess which movie I saw? Can you guess which fucking movie I saw? Yeah, I saw Priscilla.

Okay, of course I saw Sofia Coppola's Priscilla. Is Sofia Coppola the Nepo baby or is her daughter the Nepo baby? Coppola, Nepo baby. Romy, Romy, Romy.

The internet's new favorite Nepo baby, Sofia Coppola's teen daughter went viral for her controversial TikTok. Is that how I know her name? Sofia Coppola's Nepo baby daughter goes viral. What does she do? Oh, confirmed all the Nepo baby stereotypes. I'm really fucking bored with the Nepo baby shit. Like, to be totally honest with you, like, I'm really fucking bored.

I don't even want to talk about it anymore. Okay, anyway, I was like, how do I know? I know the last name, but y'all know I'm not a film girl. So I don't really know A24 and Sofia Coppola and all of these indie directors. She's probably a really famous, successful director. Never seen a film. Okay, guess what I watched earlier today? Iron Man 2.

I watch Iron Man 2 about once every two weeks. That's going to be one of the most important pieces of media to ever come out in my lifetime for me personally. Okay. I watched Iron Man 2 and Sherlock Holmes, both RDJ films. Okay. Oh, also, I forgot to mention, I have all my men in a line in a row over here. I've got all my military men. If you think about it, they're all veterans. I'm talking, of course, about on my desk. I have Kylo Ren, Mando, and Ghost. They're all veterans. Did y'all wish a happy Veterans Day to Kylo Ren?

Actually, Adam Driver is a fucking vet. Adam Driver has some deep lore that I could explore probably later at the end of this episode. Anyway, I've got everyone marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah on the desk, serving their fucking president. Okay, I saw Priscilla. I have thoughts, if you'll indulge me, okay? If you will, if you'll allow. So Priscilla, the much anticipated follow-up to Baz Luhrmann's Elvis, right?

Elvis, of course, focused on Elvis's life and Priscilla is a fixture in his life. But of course, the drugs, the fame, the whoop-dee-doo of it all is really what Baz Luhrmann's film is about. Also, it's Baz Luhrmann, it's camp, it's spectacular, it's sparkly, it's rhinestone, whatever. Okay, it's sensationalized.

Priscilla, what a fucking 180 from Elvis. Two different directors, two different stories, okay? But of the same shared life. So I knew that going in. I was like, okay, this is an A24 film. It's gonna be a bit more mellow, right?

Uh, it's not going to be the shiny fucking cock and ball jumpsuit in your face the way that Elvis was. And I loved it, y'all. Of course, I put y'all through the trauma of my Austin Butler phase, and I'm sorry for what it's worth. Hey, sorry. Priscilla, what is her name? The girl that played Priscilla.

Kaylee Spaney. She did an incredible job. She did an incredible job. I think the girl who played Priscilla in the Elvis movie did a fantastic job as well, but this was really job well done. But can I say something really controversial, guys? Can I say something really just... I'm just gonna go back on everything I've ever said. I prefer Jacob Mallordy's Elvis to us. I prefer...

When you feel the hyper fixation taking over. What's happening to me? I'm in the full moonlight. I rip my shirt. I'm a werewolf. Hair tufts on my arms. I grow talons.

My biceps grow. I suddenly have hind legs. I'm the alpha. I'm the leader. Jacob will already use the new hyper fixation. Oh, I fucking hate to admit that. Oh, I thought I could avoid this plague. I thought I was the one. I thought I was the one.

Euphoria, bitch. I missed it. I never watched Euphoria. That shit would have made me depressed, girl. I never watched Euphoria. I knew he played Nate. What's his fucking name? And I was like, yeah, everyone thinks he's hot, whatever. I'm different. I'm different. I like Austin Butler. Austin Butler's also like traditionally handsome. Who's an ugly man I like? Benedict Cumberbatch. I'm so not ugly. Okay, anyway. I avoided...

the groupthink of the Jacob O'Lourdy fan train because I thought it made me different. I watched this fucking movie, dude. Going to be thinking about it for the next, promise you this, two months. Promise you this with my whole chest, two months. Austin Butler, I keep seeing these memes of like, Austin Butler,

Being an immersive method actor and fully diving headfirst into the Elvis lore and like thinking that he was connecting with Elvis spiritually. Elvis talks to me all this shit. And like he did a fantastic job. Don't get me wrong. Like, of course, I loved the Elvis movie. I loved it.

There is just something about the ease with which Jacob played Elvis. He really, really studied the vocal inflection. I think Elvis's people really made fun of Austin Butler's accent. Understandable. And the way he kept it. Understandable. No complaints from me. But with Jacob Elordi, bitch, it just did something.

He really mastered the mumble, the southern mumble of Elvis. He would lose interest halfway through talking. He'd just, you know, hey, baby, hey, silly, that sort of thing. It was mumbly. It was very mumbly. And if you ever listened to interviews or phone conversations released of Elvis, it was very that. He'd just lose steam about halfway through. And it was so...

It made it feel so real the way Austin Butler was, I just can't do it, mama. And it was fun and it was camp and it was very emotional. I cried at the Elvis movie. I did not cry. I'm lying. I cried at Priscilla as well, but for different reasons. I cried during the Elvis movie when he lost his mom. I cried at the death scene, of course. I cried when Priscilla left him, all that, whatever.

But it's a very, it's so much, I think, more immersive, the storytelling and the acting in Priscilla. So, Jacob Mallordy also is-

bothered to shoot me a DM and say, "Hey Supreme Leader, just want to let you know Jacob Lordy's gonna be 6'5". Good luck with that. Okay? And guess what? Alex Earl just came out and said Jacob Lordy's her celebrity crush. Me like I had a chance. I'll never have a chance! Oh damn it. And I was just about to send him a DM. Oh, are you serious? I was just about to reach out. Damn, I saw that clip of Alex Earl. I said, "She can get him!"

bitches in the comments gonna be like you could too be realistic be fucking for real like shaking freak the fuck out covid19 viruses like me change to fool your immune system and make you sick but updated vaccines help protect you stay up to date on covid19 and flu vaccinations sponsored by champions for vaccine education equity and progress

I never watched Euphoria, okay? I avoided it. You know, everyone... But I know kind of like the whatever of like... What's her name? Not Maddie. Maddie's the brunette one. The blonde one. Cindy Sweetie. When she had been fucking Glenn Powell. That's a different story. When she's in the bathroom waking up at 4 a.m. to get ready for school just in the hopes that Nate would notice her. Okay, me, first of all. Me when I spiral. Second of all...

I know the extent of Euphoria, whatever. Okay. I don't really know that much about Jacob Elordi's character. I don't really know the lore. I know he was kind of a piece of shit. But then I've also seen that scene where I think it's Maddie. Almost gets like kidnapped. And then he's in the car and he's got a gun. Ooh. Anyway. Okay. Elvis. Or Priscilla. Priscilla.

Obviously, if you don't know the like deep fucking lore of Elvis, if you're not a major fan, if you didn't grow up loving him or grow up in like an Elvis household, allow me to explain. Elvis was drafted into military service in the 50s to go serve in Germany. And while he was over there, his mom died. And...

He did it as a way, I believe it was some like red tape why he had to go to Germany. While he's there, he's worried that like no one's listening to his music. He was like really on the rise right before he had to go. And then he was so separated from American culture because he was with the servicemen and all that. And he's obviously in Germany. While in Germany, he meets the daughter of one of his superiors in the military, in the army named Priscilla.

She was 14. He was about 22, 23. How old was Elvis when he met Priscilla? Oh, he was 24. No! No! No! Oh my God, he was 24 and she was 14. That's gonna make me sick to my fucking stomach, girl. That's gonna make my stomach turn. I didn't realize, I thought he was like 20.

Oh my God. Any way you look at it, it's fucking gross. Oh, he's 20. That's still disgusting. She had just started ninth grade. Freshman year of high school. Oh, okay. So that's fucking gross. We got, we're working, we're rocking with a 10 year age difference. Okay.

He meets Priscilla in Germany and immediately is just fascinated with her. He doesn't really talk to a lot of American women, obviously, because he's in Germany. All the women are European. And he always talks about Priscilla being a nice reminder of home, like a little piece of home. She was from Texas. Yeah.

And he just took a quick fascination with her. Of course, she's 14. She's freshman in high school. This is Elvis Presley, bitch. She's going to Elvis's parties. They're hanging out alone in his room. But the way she describes it, it is never, and the way it's portrayed in all the movies and whatever, he never sexually pressured her. He never, uh,

violated her in that way. I do, they kissed. Okay, ew, you know what I mean? Hey, you're 24. I do think they kissed and of course she started falling in love with him and I think he did too.

Well, he leaves Germany. He goes back to America and he's got to work on this film he's doing and all this. Well, Priscilla is still in Germany for two more years. She turned 16. They're writing each other. Elvis is writing her whatever and wishes her happy sweet 16th birthday. Meanwhile, of course, Elvis is fucking.

Of course, Elvis is getting it in. Of course, Elvis is smashing. But for some reason, and this is a very peculiar thing to me, and it's portrayed in both the Elvis movie in Priscilla and also in Priscilla's autobiography, which is what Priscilla, the movie is based on. And Priscilla Presley is actually one of the executive producers, which is nice. I'm very glad she was involved.

So they, whatever, it's two years. Elvis flies her out to Graceland. She meets the whole family, whatever. They like ask her mom and dad if she can. And it goes from there. I don't think that they have sex until she's 21 and they're married. But in between that, obviously like she is his little puppet.

Like she is his muse. He's obsessed with her. Of course, all while fucking other women. But she was always the one that he would come back to. They got married. They had Lisa Marie. It kind of went downhill from there. Of course, the Elvis movie is about Colonel Tom Parker and how manipulative and how much of an exploitative succubus he was to Elvis and Elvis's career.

Took everything from him and got him involved with the wrong people, signed his life away to the Vegas deal. And I think had a hand in part of the addiction that Elvis suffered from to pills and booze and etc. Elvis from a very early on gave Priscilla drugs.

gave her uppers to keep going during the day and to get up for school. She was still in high school. She had not graduated high school by the time that she was kind of living full-time with Elvis in Graceland, in Memphis. He would give her uppers to go to school and downers to go to sleep at night. Just kind of, you know, being with Elvis, you have to be on his clock, his body clock. And he's getting role after role. This is like the early 60s now. And he's on top of the world. Well...

Obviously, the rest of the story goes as, you know, he spirals out of control for the love of... And this is the thing. I think Elvis struggled as so many celebrities do and have, and we've lost so many celebrities, but...

He lost the fight between what controlled him and being in control of those substances, where the love of fame and money and material things just was more important to him than his own life, than the people he loved, than his child. You know, it cost him his life, and it's tragic. And he's such a complex person, and

And I also want to talk about, obviously, him as a person being so just fucked. But also, did he ever have a chance from the beginning? You know, it's almost like a Justin Bieber situation of if you are being told you are God's gift to this green earth from when you are young, how did you ever have a chance to be normal? Ever. So that's his sort of world. Priscilla, I find very...

intriguing as a woman and as a woman who, speaking personally, and I found myself relating to Priscilla in a lot of ways that I didn't think I would. Priscilla Presley is a very quiet, timid, shy, and obviously in her youth, easily manipulated and controlled woman. I don't think I'm that way, right? I'm kind of the opposite end of the spectrum.

I don't shut the fuck up. I am big in general. I'm just kind of big, both in my personality and hey, my body. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just very different types of people. But I was shocked because the more the movie went on, I was like, God, I know what that feels like. I know what that feels like too. Oh, there's nothing worse than that feeling. Over and over, Elvis would slowly, you can see him sink his claws into her. Slowly but surely.

Don't wear that dress. It doesn't flatter you. And her being like, oh, okay. Because I want to look pretty for my man. You need to dye your hair black and it needs to be big. You need to wear dark eye makeup. It'll suit you better. It'll bring out your eyes more. Oh, okay. I can do that. You know, if it's what you want. Because at this point she had left her family. She was living with Elvis. She had not graduated high school. She's surrounded by Elvis's friends and family. She doesn't have anyone except him.

She has no friends. She's isolated from her family. And so, of course, her entire life becomes serving this man who is her entire world, has given her everything, buys her whatever she wants, makes sure she's, you know, getting to school, doing this, giving her the drugs. He's taking her to Vegas. He's this and that. Like, it's just this luxurious life any teenager would want to live. That's the life.

And so, of course, if your man looks at you, this man who is not only a man but a god to you, he is your god. He determines your salvation and when you wake and when you sleep and what you eat and what you wear. Your whole life is to please him. How could you ever look at him and say, I don't like when you talk to me like that? She doesn't know. She wouldn't have known to stand up for herself. All that being said...

I was relating to it slowly but surely of like, I know what that feels like to want to change yourself for a man or to be like, well, I liked this, but he likes this better. So I'll change for, I can change for him. And then at the end of that road, it's still not being enough because you know how it ends between them. Obviously they get divorced. She can't handle it anymore. He spirals out of control and eventually dies prematurely.

And God bless Priscilla. She has just had a tragic and traumatic life just all the way through. Losing her husband in more ways than one. Losing her daughter, her grandchild. I can't imagine. It's just, it's such a sad story. And I'm so glad that her story is being told now. So moving on. There are scenes in the movie where she's obviously a teenager.

And by the time she turns 18, he's what, 28? Oh God. And even through all that, you know, she's like, I want to please you as your long-term girlfriend, as your partner, as your little play thing, you know, truly, I want to make you happy in that way, which I think is a very normal desire between a man and a woman. And especially in that weird fucked up dynamic of he is...

in control of her reality and she doesn't really have an identity for herself so she wants to take control of this one thing she can which is sex which is when he gets pleasure and when she gets pleasure and she just wants to make him happy in that way he continuously turns her down which is he's such an interesting fucking complex person because to continuously reject priscilla who is the woman he loves uh it was always going to be her in the end that sort of thing but he's fucking other women on the side

I don't know why men have this sort of mentality of, you know, this woman is relationship material. This woman couldn't care less about. She's a body. I don't really understand how men can make that distinction. I've always found that very, that's such a, and I hate to bring gender into it, but that's such a gendered thing. I've never really, I've known women who, yeah, you can have a one night stand, but

And it's a joke, you know, to think of a man as just a dick. But I think that women inherently are more empathetic. And of course, we see people as people versus I think men genuinely see women as objects. Of course, that's not a new idea. It's just confirmed. And so for him to have this double standard of, you know, when he's off doing movies or when he's off wherever, he's getting letters from his girlfriends while Priscilla's at home.

with his family, sleeping in his bed. While he's off, he's doing whatever, but he'll always come back to Priscilla. But Priscilla, he continuously denies her that, which I think is so just like, wow. He was also so devoutly religious. Very, very Christian. Loved Jesus. What a, I think that's such an interesting case study of Southern Christianity.

You are a walking double standard. And I know all of us as humans, inherently, we are hypocrites. We are all hypocrites. Okay? He who is without sin shall cast the first stone. Ain't nobody throwing stones, girl. Everyone is a hypocrite. For him to be so devout and to not hold himself to that standard, but he held Priscilla to that standard. He wanted her to be a virgin. Ugh.

and would even deny her until they were married. There are a couple scenes where they're laying in bed and she's gotten all pretty for him. She's done her hair up and she's got, you know, her dark makeup on and these sexy little lingerie, cute little flouncy dresses. And she's just gorgeous. I mean, just gorgeous. And, you know, she starts kissing him and rubbing on his chest and he goes, no.

And she like, oh God, I just know that feeling of like her curling the other way in bed and just like almost curling in on yourself of why am I not enough? What else could I possibly do to make you want me in that way? Why don't you want me in that way? And she wasn't stupid. She knew he was fucking other girls on the side. What? Why? Why not me?

You know, like, oh God, that feeling. I just, every woman I think has experienced that. And it was so hard to watch. It made me tear up of like, here she is in all her glory, in all her divine beauty. And the answer is no. And I don't know if that is some strange, or maybe not strange, but some odd restraint that Elvis had when it came to Priscilla. There was something about Priscilla that was just...

It made him crazy and it made him act so strange. So you had this Elvis that was in the public eye who was the flirt and who was the movie star and who was, you know, I'll call you later, baby, like that sort of thing. And then you have this Elvis that Priscilla knew and only Priscilla knew. And, um,

Oh, God, that's also just, you know, like men are so different in relationships than with their friends and stuff. And I just, it's so interesting to me, their dynamic. And every time I read about it and watch things like this, you know, it's like, oh, God, just what an interesting. And to have it all be public obviously is odd in and of itself. But when you're as, when you are like,

cemented into the history of pop culture the way that Elvis Presley is, bitch, of course that's going to be public. And I appreciate Priscilla sharing her story. God, what a life. Oh my God. And there is, obviously this wasn't in the movie, but if you've read her autobiography,

And I got about halfway through it. And then I think I started reading Court of Thorns and Roses. So obviously I got distracted. I need to finish it now because there are certain bits of information that were left out clearly because I don't want to make the movie five hours long, even though I would have watched it. I would have sat my ass down and watched. There are strange little tidbits of inside scoop, insider knowledge that Priscilla gave of

He always wanted her to look like a doll. If her fingernail polish was cracked, if her toenail polish was chipped, he would give her a look. She was doing her homework one time. I think this is a part of the book. She was either doing her homework or she was doing something where she was sitting at the table and he was standing above her and he asked her a question and she looked up and he like...

smacked her forehead or something or smacked her wrist. And he goes, look back down and only look up at me with your eyes. Oh, to give that like sexy siren Vixen, whatever. And so she, she did. She, she trained herself to behave the way Elvis wanted. And I just, God, I can't think of a woman, uh, who doesn't know that feeling. And if you don't, God bless you of, of

I need to make myself smaller for this man. I need to listen to what he says because my worth and my validation is determined by him. Obviously, that's not true. Obviously, that's not true. But as a young girl, that is the truth. You know, that's your reality. That's what you're taught. That's what you observe. That's what you want to be. You want to be pleasing to men. Until you break through that fucking ceiling and realize, oh my God, there's so much more to life.

But to be trapped in that mindset and to never have a chance to escape is just God. And so those little things of she was his puppet. She was his little rag doll. And she was arm candy and all that. But also stay at home. You know, manager says that I shouldn't have a wife. It's bad for business. It's bad for the, you know, I heart Elvis Presley of it all. Where when you...

have this larger than life figure be in a relationship or be, you know, in love with a tangible person, the illusion is gone. God. And so I can't imagine there are so many, so many scenes in this movie of her just alone. He left her alone.

much of their relationship and then they'd get together and it would be oh they're roller skating they're doing this and they're kissing and they're he's showing her off they get matching outfits and they're this and they're in Vegas oh my god and then they're doing pills and they're whatever and then he's gone and then he's gone and then he won't even call he won't write and then he comes home and guess what she finds letters from his girlfriends oh I've killed myself with a fucking rifle

You got a letter from your girlfriend, but I'm your wife. I'm killing myself with a rifle in front of you. My God! How could you? She's stronger than me, bitch. I would have drowned myself in the... Find my corpse, bitch! You got a letter from your girlfriend! I'll show you crazy. Oh my God. Every time I get mad and I shake this table, the bobbleheads are like... Ew, what was that noise? Anyway, she was so strong, bitch. That honestly... Okay, that was one of the things I wanted to say is...

What a strong, resilient, patient woman. And part of it is she didn't know any better. You know, like you kind of have to be. But there are some moments in the film, which of course the film is based on the autobiography, where she stands up for herself.

He had this whole crazy like spiritual yogi phase where he was like meditating the mind and he had a life coach, like a spirit coach and all this shit. Fucking weird. But it was also the 60s, you know, like George Harrison, Beatles did the same thing. Everybody kind of had this. It was flower power and all that. I'm like, you got to center the mind, whatever. She goes, I can't fucking take this anymore. You got to chill with the fucking yogi shit. I cannot take it.

And he literally, in this one scene, he goes, I got to get back to reading. Like completely blows her off. And that, oh my God. Okay, so here's also the thing. I can talk about this for so long. It's so interesting to me. To have Priscilla be the center of your world, right? Like I truly think when Scylla left him, it was the beginning of the end. It solidified in his mind, you know, I just, I don't, I can't hold on.

What is grounding me? What is keeping me with my feet on the ground? And when she left, it was over, I think. To have her be the center of your universe, but when she finally starts to have a personality, when she finally starts to stand on her own two feet and push back, he would get violent. He would throw shit. He would lash out.

Not, I don't think ever physically. I don't think he ever physically hit her. I don't think, but you know, that doesn't make sense. It's still manipulative and it's still controlling and it's still toxic and it's still awful. And I just felt so God, just, I felt so sad for her. Like I, I left the theater just sad.

What a sad... And of course, she made the most of her life where she has her own friends and she has her own style and personality and she becomes her own person. And...

I think that the movie ends once that happens. I was kind of shocked. It ends abruptly. I was like, oh, the credits are rolling? Okay. I could have sat for another 30 minutes. Like, I don't think the story was finished. But if that was the plot they were trying to tell of like, here she is from this baby chick, you know, to a fully blossomed woman. And she finally came into herself outside of the identifying element of being with Elvis. Right.

And if that was the end goal of the movie, mission accomplished, I do think it ended a bit early. But...

For Elvis to just coddle her and mold her and morph her into exactly what he wanted, the minute she stepped out of bounds, the minute she would confront him about the letters from the girlfriends or about, you know, he was seen with so-and-so actress and rumors that him and this actress are engaged. And she's confronting him like, what the fuck are you doing to make people believe that you are engaged to this person? He would get mad at her.

He would get mad at her to the point where she'd have to apologize. Oh, I'm going to kill you. Oh, I can't think of anything more enraging. Like, I just, oh my God. And it's also like, what are you going to do? Walk away. She did eventually when it got unmanageable and good for her. But when you're that young, I mean, you're freshly what? 21, 22. They got married. She's 21. What are you going to do? Walk away because he yelled at you. No, you have nothing without Elvis.

Because he didn't let you develop your own life or your own personality. He groomed you from when you were four years old. You never had a shot. But yet she still made it. She made it out. And it's so weird because, again, like holding all this nuance in this conversation of Elvis was so complex.

And people loved him for a reason. Like, I love Elvis. Still, all through this shit, it's like, he was such a disturbed person, to be honest. But with the fame and the glory and the accolades, that does something to your fucking brain, bitch. That really mixes up some wires in your brain.

And to the level that they did it with Elvis, with the Beatles, with Michael Jackson, with Janis Joplin, with these people who just, they did not make it. There is a level of fame that is not survivable. That's a scary thing to think about. You don't make it out alive. Unfortunately, of course, Elvis is kind of the shining star of that other than Michael Jackson. And Whitney Houston, God, where...

I don't know if it's the unmanageable expectations that are put on you. I don't know if it's the unmanageable lack of normalcy where you can't do normal things like go on a walk or, you know, be with your family in a restaurant or go grocery shopping or these things that are normal that when you're at the level of fame of someone like Elvis Presley, that is just not doable. Don't even, don't even think about it.

I think that it's so isolating. And of course, I never want to be like, oh, these poor celebrities. But on a humanistic level, on a human level, that emotion of being, feeling like you are alone in the universe. You don't have a single fucking person. You don't have a single person. It's just you versus the world. It's heavy. That is heavy. It's dangerous. You know?

And Priscilla for him, I think, was the lifeline, was the life raft for a lot of those emotions. And he knew that he could go fuck around and do what he wanted and she would always be there. But what happens when she's not? Oh! And at this point, this is when he was doing the residency in Vegas. He was living full time in this suite at the top of the whatever hotel. Colonel Tom Parker, his manager, had signed his life away. Priscilla leaves him. And...

He spirals just out of control and meets his death. And it's so sad because at the core of it too, you know, I think that the celebrities of those age, that age, the golden age of Hollywood, were so talented. It was just raw talent. And to lose that on a selfish level as a fan and as a, you know, a consumer of pop culture, it sucks. It sucks. And it's an epidemic within Hollywood.

Hollywood, and even I've been around it, I've talked about this before of just, it goes hand in hand, fame and a sustaining substance to keep you on your rocker. And I don't think that there is a manageable way to be reliant upon uppers to do your job. I don't think that that's manageable ever without incorporating downers at a certain point as well.

And that's just a cocktail for disaster. So anyway, Priscilla, the movie. Shockingly, I'm going to give it honestly a 6.5 out of 10. I really had higher expectations for it. I really enjoyed it. I think it ended too abruptly and I think it was too slow. Maybe that's A24. Maybe that's I'm not a fucking film junkie girl. I need best. I'm going to be like, bam. And now they're in Vegas. Woo.

Now they're in Vegas. Shiny rhinestone, Diplo remix transition. Oh, here we go. We got Sway Lee. Here we go. You know, like this, the Priscilla soundtrack doesn't have any Elvis songs on it. They barely played any Elvis music.

They really tried to keep it about her. Honestly, like Jacob Elordi is a supporting character. It's her story. It's about her. Oh, I wasn't done talking about that. He left her alone so much. So many of the scenes really just...

my heart hurt of she's just staring out the window waiting for him, waiting for the tour bus around the corner, or she's waiting by the phone for him to call, or she's trying to do her homework, but she's doodling Elvis's name, you know, in the book. And it's like, I know that feeling of why isn't he thinking about me? Why isn't he reaching out? He doesn't like me. Also, what was confusing is with this guiding mentality of if he wanted to, he would, right?

Elvis consistently did. He wanted her there. He got her there. He wanted her to do this. He wanted to make her feel special. He wanted to get married to her. He wanted to do this. He did it all. And of course she was happy to oblige. She loved him. She loved him. That was her man. Oh my God. And the way that he would talk to her. How's my girl? Oh, I'm horny. How's my girl? I'm going to go to the bathroom. He was so sweet with her. And the love bombing is a desperate

of it girl it is part of the fucking chess game oh but love should never be a chess game anyway to do all that consistently like to be like i want you i want you i want you here i want you to meet my friends i want you to come to vegas with me you know get your dress on we're going here and then to just leave her for six months not talk to her it was like loving her was convenient

He only loved her when it was convenient for him. And whenever she showed resistance or threatened to not be there when he got back, you know, he would lose his fucking mind. So yeah, the loneliness was really a theme throughout the movie. And I think it makes it more beautiful that at the end, you know, she escapes. She'll never escape Elvis, of course, to this fucking day. She's 78 years old talking about Elvis Presley. But to...

have the chance to have your own life and to have a beautiful relationship with your daughter, you know, outside of Elvis's, her dad. Uh, I just, I love her to goddamn death. I really, really appreciate Priscilla sharing her story because what did everyone wants to know? And she let us in. Wow. Anyway, Jacob Elordi, and he was just GQ, like sexiest man of the fucking millennium. Uh,

I don't know what they just awarded him, dude, but I saw those pictures and I literally had to shut Instagram. I saw that come across my feed and I said, nope, not doing that. We are not handle, not handle. Please. I've been going through the same motion since I was 12 years old. Cycling through men.

Cycling. I am forever chained to this bicycle of cycling through different men. Sweat drips down my back. I'm emaciated. I'm pale. But still, I pedal on. Gotta get to the next white boy of the month. Gotta get to the next boy of the month. We gotta do this. Who's the next one? Alright, he's over. We passed him. Who's next? Who's next? My calves are burning. My biceps. My bony frame.

We cannot keep on this way, soldiers. It is going to fucking kill us. I've been on this trajectory since 2009. It was over, girl. The minute I made a Twitter with the sole purpose of following Justin Bieber on Twitter, it was fucking over. That was the beginning of the end for me. And look where we are now. Dude. Okay, so Jacob Elordi, if you're listening, which I know you are,

I saw you at that Sydney airport picking out books from the bookstore. Okay? Who taught you how to read, girl? Who taught Jacob Lordy how to read? That's not allowed. That is not allowed. We're doing audiobooks only for Jacob Lordy. Okay? Sexy men are not allowed to read. That is not allowed. Pick one. You're either smart or you're hot. You can't be both. And if you are both, you're psychotic. You're a manipulator. That's too much power. You are a fucking manipulator. I need an ugly, cute, smart boy.

Yeah, those pictures of him. Put them up here. The pictures of him book shopping. And he's got a book. Oh, he's so tall. He's got a book shoved in his cargo pant pocket because his legs are so big and tall. He could fit a full book in his cargo pant pocket. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You know what kind of took me out of it at certain points? Austin Butler had the physique down. You know, like he was just tall enough. His thighs were just meaty enough. Elvis had some meaty thighs. Okay. Okay.

Especially during the 68 comeback special. He's in that leather suit. He's got some, he's got a meaty build. This was before it was Fat Elvis, of course. Who I do want to go as Fat Elvis for Halloween one year. Felvis, if you will. This was before, this was like, just Elvis's build was, was, you know, he was kind of muscly sometimes. Jacob Lordy is not. He is a tall, lanky, slender man looking motherfucker. And I'm into it. Come on, Gumby. Rattle them bones, girl.

Come on, Gumby, shake what you got. Shake what your mama gave you. Yeah, there were some scenes of him in those jumpsuits and I was like, that's not my Elvis. That's not my Elvis. Where's AB? Where's ABut? AButler. But for the whole rest of the movie, I was like, oh my God, this Elvis is so much better than Austin Butler's. But that honestly, we're comparing like the top 0.01% to the top

0.015 percent. Okay, like they're both of them were incredible portrayals You can tell that they really did their research. They really put their blood sweat and tears into the role I just think J.K. Lord was more believable because we saw the nasty side of him. That is believable. I want to see the the intricacies of how his mind worked. I mean, how's my girl?

And to go from that to throwing a chair at her and then immediately being like, I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean, are you okay, baby? That sort of thing. I want to see that. I want to see how quick he was. I don't know what, you know, you could diagnose that as, but like the lashing out and then immediately being like, oh, I fucked up. But you can't correct that. Just anger management, I fucking guess. Where when you are Elvis and you're in control of literally everything in your life,

And the one thing that you think you have the most control over, which is your woman, when she starts talking back to you, I guess that just snapped something in him. God. Anyway, I also think the company he kept, you know, the friends he surrounded himself with, not stand-up guys. You know, I've seen some clips of him, like real clips of

I've had him from backstage at the Vegas shows, whatever, talking about, and this bitch gave me head so good last night. When he was still married to Priscilla. It's just like gross and strange and weird and I hate men. But also, what a complex character and what a complex person. I'm forever going to be obsessed with Elvis and his story and Priscilla's story. Like, that's just one of my evergreen hyperfixations. I just cannot get enough of it. It's like crack, bitch. I cannot stop. I cannot get enough.

And when they first announced the Priscilla movie, I was like, I'm not going to watch that. Nothing could top Baz Luhrmann's Elvis 2022. I saw that film seven times in theaters. It changed me. This one, I'm glad I saw it because guess what, bitch? We're in our Jacob Malourney face now. Free me! Free me from the shackles! I only want to be free! I'm so tired.

I'm so tired of going through this fucking book. Free me! You know in Aladdin where he goes to the diamond in the rough.

When he goes and he finds that prisoner, the old man who actually ends up being Jafar. The old man who's in the prison. And he's shackled up like this. And he's like... That's how I feel. I feel like the psychotic old hag who's been in prison for 30 years. Because I rushed the stage at an Elvis concert in 1971. They shipped me off to prison. And here I'm in my Dobby rags. And I'm... We're caught in a trap.

walk out because I love you too much, baby. And then I start dancing with my feet. And then the new, the fresh meat who gets thrown into my prison cell. I'm like, you ever heard Elvis Presley? Anyway, guys, I think that'll do it for me for this episode. Wow. I really only talked about Elvis the whole fucking time. Classic. Anyway, go see Priscilla. Let me know what you think. Oh, oh my God. Oh my God. I forgot to tell you. I saw, oh,

Saw an advertisement for a movie called Salt Run? Salt Run movie. Salt Burn. Salt Run. Salt Burn. Starring, you guessed it, Jacob Elordi. Starring, guess fucking who, bitch, blast from the past, Ewan Mitchell. Now, some of you are like, who is that? Okay, you clearly don't follow me on TikTok. Ewan Mitchell, who plays Amon Targaryen in House of the Dragon?

Uh, yeah, that motherfucker is in this movie. You think I'm not going to be seated at the AMC Theater 4 seat G7 in my little recliner chair with my chocolate raisinets and my salted butter popcorn and my cherry Coke? Bitch, I'm seated. Jacob Lordy, Ewan Mitchell, ah, yeah!

I wanna walk into the theater and crush two fucking beer cans above my head and shotgun them into my mouth and then smash them against my head and throw them at the screen. Whatever. You guys don't get me. All right, that's it for this episode. Leave me alone. Love you guys. Bye.