Session 42: Season 1 Finale
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Pussies, pussies, pussies. We have arrived at the final episode of season one of Therapush. And I honestly cannot believe it. I cannot believe- I really cannot believe-

what it's turned into, like, really and truly, like, I just had no idea. And the only reason it became what it was is really and truly because of you guys. So thank you. I love you. I cannot thank you enough. Like, our weekly YouTube chats to everything, like, I cannot thank you enough. Like, I'm so happy you guys love it just as much as I love making it.

I can't wait for season two. It's going to be bigger and better and funnier and more exciting. And I just, I can't believe we're at the end of season one and I can't believe I'm about to take it on tour. I really, I know I keep saying, I can't believe that Jake shut the fuck up, but it really, it's been very cathartic to come on here.

talk my shit, talk about life and talk about what I'm therapist about and meet new people and have my best friends on and show it to you guys, have you guys laugh. And I'm just so grateful for today's final episode. I thought I would really, really bring it back to where it started with me, Brett and Julia in our old apartment on Orlando. And we just finished filming and like, it was giving like finale of Hannah Montana vibes.

Nolan, don't. Seriously. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know the premise of Hannah Montana? It's Miley Cyrus, right? What's the premise of Hannah Montana? She's like a singer in high school. Okay, but what's the premise of, like, what makes Hannah Montana special? I have no clue. Are you seriously kidding me right now? I have no clue.

What is it? No land. I'm serious. I'm dead serious. I have no idea. By day, she's a school student, Miley Stewart, and by night, she's pop star Hannah Montana. Serious. Fucking hell. Do you know the theme song? Hannah. No idea. You get the limo out front. Ooh, ooh. Hotter styles, every shoe, every color. Yeah, when you're famous, it can be kind of fun. It's really you, but no one ever discovers.

Whoever thought that a girl like me could double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds. Chill it out, take it slow during the day. Then you rock out the show. You get the best of both worlds. Mix it all together and you know you get the best of both worlds.

This is the weirdest job ever. It's crazy to me that you don't know what Hannah Montana is. I just found out that the Sprouse brothers were like Zack and Cody. What? You just found that out? I didn't. I was like, who are these people? And then somebody pointed that out to me. Oh, I can't.

The more... What? You're not even... What? I just didn't watch Hannah Montana or... Suite Life of Zack and Cody. You watched That's a Raven? No, I don't even... Probably not. No. You watched Shake It Up? I auditioned for Shake It Up. Why? No, you didn't. Yeah. Actually? Yeah. So did I. No, you didn't. Really? I did. You did the challenge? Yes. Yes. Yes. I did the challenge. Oh, my God. I'll put mine right here. It was really cool. Okay. Whatever. The last episode was giving Hannah Montana. It was very emotional. Yeah.

Before I leave for tour, I, you know, you guys know how much I love the, how much I love the Aloe gym. Okay. You know how much I love it. Like it's no secret here. I'm like, when I'm on tour, I'm obviously not going to have a constant gym to go to. I'm on a bus for a month. So what better way to keep up with the Aloe gym than to use Aloe moves through my fitness journey at Aloe. I've, I've, I've really shown you guys every step of the way. Um,

You know, I'll put them all here, all my Pilates shaking videos to my weight training videos. And you guys, I am not the same person that entered that gym over a year ago. Really, really, really and truly. Alamoose is great because from beginner to advanced, it has every step of the way for anyone in any point of their journey. And for me, that's important because...

I'm never in like a certain place at a certain time. Some days I'll be like really ready to go and then some days I won't. So that's why Alamoves is good for me because one day I can do an easier class and then one day I can do a harder class. I usually use Alamoves when I'm like away for somewhere, but I'm going to have to use it every day now that I'm living on a bus. The classes themselves range from five minutes to an hour. You obviously know I will be doing the five minute ones because if it's up to me, I'll work out for five minutes. But yeah,

But if I'm working out with like Matt or something, we'll probably do the longer ones. But it's great. Some people might have less time. Some people have more time. It's like a literal virtual gym. There's yoga, Pilates, Pilates, strength workouts, meditation. And the same exact workouts that I do at Aloe are the same workouts that are on Aloe Moves. For example, we can do Pilates with my favorite Laura Quinn, um,

Laura, I love you so much. Louie, Gio, Steph, I love you guys so much. Just shout out. Sophie, I love you so much. I love all of you guys. Okay, that's just a side note. And with over 100 new classes every month, Aloe Moves just keeps me hooked. There is always something new to choose from. Everyone's incredible. And yeah, it keeps me motivated. I'm not doing the same thing over and over again.

Stay on top of your wellness routine no matter where you go. Join Allomooves.com and use code THERAPUS for an exclusive 30-day free trial and 20% off an annual membership. That's Allomooves.com, code THERAPUS for an exclusive 30-day free trial and 20% off an annual membership. And may I just add, 30 days is like the exact amount of time I'll be on the road so we can all do

do it together. Allomooves.com, code THERAPUS. Thank you, Allo. I love you. And thank you, pussies. Enjoy the final episode of Therapus Season 1. I love you all so much. Hi, pussies, and welcome to the season finale of Therapus. Now, today or tonight or whenever you're watching this, I thought I would bring it back to where it all started. Me,

Brett and Julia. Hey, guys. Hey. So this really all started in our old apartment at Orlando. Yeah. That it did. Are we supposed to go? I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm trying to get my energy up. Hold on. No, it's down. Do you want a sip of the Celsius? Sure. Sure.

The new cherry cola flavor. It's amazing. I never drink Celsius except for when we used to pregame in college. Senior year? No, what's the tequila? Oh, oh, oh. Fuck. Terramana. Terramana tequila. I was never a tequila, but they were. No. Have a few more sips. You need to get your energy up. Oh, um. Ha!

Do you remember? I don't know if we've ever told this story. We must have told this story. No, we've never told it. We haven't told insomnia. When we lived in... No one just said we have. Okay. For those who don't know, when we lived in our apartment together in Orlando last year, which was just... I want to include photos from it, but it is like so treacherous. I think it's like honestly a poor look for you. It's a bad look. One time I posted them and I saw a Reddit post that was like, this is disgusting. Okay.

Long story short, I didn't sleep for three days, and I'm not exaggerating. Like, three full days went by without my eyes closing. And it was Brad's marathon. It was my marathon weekend. And so Brad had to tiptoe out in the morning. No, and it's literally, it's the morning of my marathon. It's, like, 4.30 a.m., and I'm, like, I got to get up. And I, like, go into the main room to make my coffee, and poor John is on the couch because

Because Julia told John he couldn't sleep in the room, but he also couldn't go home. He goes, I can't go home. It's Brett's marathon. Oh, yeah. It was really sweet. So we slept on the couch and I was like, sorry. And then if you woke. I'm not going to apologize. You don't understand how traumatizing that experience was. If you were loud at all, you'd hear this. Do you remember that? No, that's because.

You and all of our friends got home at four in the morning and were being loud. Like, what do you mean if you made one peep? Like, you guys were screaming. And then Kennedy wrote on the whiteboard in your room. Help me. You're not going to get comfortable. So this is something I'd like to address now that it's our season finale. The couch is incredibly uncomfortable. I hate it here. There's nowhere to lie.

Yeah, so we're going to switch it up for season two. Don't worry. It's all future guests. Yeah. I always thought about when you had people that weren't us here, they probably were so uncomfortable. I started offering this seat. Oh, yeah. I just started. Right. It was giving me anxiety. Okay, so yeah, I didn't sleep for three days.

I think that's kind of the end of the story. Yeah. It was, like, crazy, though. Like, you guys, like, hysterically sobbing. Like, have any of you, like, not slept ever? It's a form of torture. I know, but, like, it was crazy that she couldn't. He's nodding. It's a form of torture. Like, this is no joke. You would so have insomnia. I do. I so see that. Do you take anything? You would have insomnia, Nolan. I see you, like, up.

Nolan, my issue is that I... He's always working. He's working late. Yeah. Because he's a singer. So, but my thing is, is that melatonin makes me more awake.

Like, NyQuil makes me, like, energized. Yeah, I kind of just thug it out. What? Yes. See, that makes no sense. That just, like, scientifically doesn't make sense. Okay, well, I think it's a mental. NyQuil has put me out for 12 hours the past two nights. NyQuil doesn't make me tired. Like, if anything, I'm just staring at the wall. Okay, Nolan's agreeing, unfortunately. Nolan, I feel like you drink. You're such a gaslighter. Like, what do you mean scientific? Well, because it has stuff in it to make you sleepy. I feel like Nolan has, like, a can of, like, monster energy next to his bed at all times. I am known to drink caffeine pretty late.

Period. That's not a gaslighter. I'm not gaslighting you. Speaking of gaslighting, so obviously, as you guys know, I've been trying to get into aliens. Yeah, how's that going? Not good. I just don't believe it. And honestly- Okay, see, but it's like literally impossible for there not to be aliens, Jake. I'm sure there's aliens. Do I think they visited Earth? I talked to my mom about it last night and she- The pyramids?

Oh, thank you. Not aliens. I'm watching a documentary right now called Ancient Apocalypse. I love that shit. Brett, you guys. Julia, you. I'm like kind of not able to participate. Your last five. You can participate. Just like, ooh, yes. I believe in aliens, though. Yeah. They obviously exist. Why don't you think the pyramids? It's impossible. That is what got me. It's impossible. It's genuinely, genuinely impossible.

The pyramids are pointed like true north or something crazy. There's like the latitude, like whatever it is that's pointed is like the most like mathematic like equation. Like it's the craziest thing. And also they wouldn't be able to,

You've gone to the pyramids? No, I've gotten to her. I'm talking about her. But yes, that's what sold me because I obviously believe that there's life elsewhere in this universe. It's an infinite universe. It's so self-centered. We're not the only people in this galaxy. But the pyramid, is that the wrong word? No, it's right. What other word would be right for that? When you speak...

They wouldn't have been able to lift those bricks. That's what first got me. Brett couldn't even lift it. No, the bricks are like five tons. Nothing is impossible. You are who you are and that is your power. No one is you and that is your power. You guys, I'm going to just include the million different variations of Brett's bio in high school. What was her bio like when we like first knew Brett? And you know what bitches? You thought I was cool.

Yeah, of course I thought you were cool. Of course I did. I remember when we got into T.O.C., Brett was in Thailand. And I was like, oh, this bitch is cool. Yeah, I remember. Yeah. She had like a bandeau bikini on the boat. Oh, yeah. I just remembered the pose outside of. And the one at Babel where Betsy with the. You remember that? Yes. And the red belt. That's my fave picture. I thought you were so cool. Yeah. She was clonking around the dorms in her triple S's. With the triple S's.

Yeah, Brett came back with a bob one day in her triple S. I've arrived. It was like the third week of college. And she said. Not even. It was seven days in. No, everyone went away for the weekend besides me and Brett. And she showed up. We had plans. And she showed up bobbed out. And I was like, oh, you cut your hair. And she was like, a little. It was up to here. It wasn't up to there yet. She first cut it like right here. Junior year, other girls started cutting their hair. I was about to say.

Junior year, other girls started cutting their hair short, and Brett was like, I invented the bob. So she cut her hair. I should have just been bald. I really, I should have just cut it all off. You know, it's bad, but when I look back on it, I'm like, how was your hair that short? With the cheetah print mask? Farmer was like, stop it right here, and Brett was like, keep going. Keep going. I need to have the shortest hair. And you did. That's crazy.

It's a, we're all crazy. What was I about to say though? Was it ancient apocalypse? Was that what we were talking about? Why don't you believe the pyramids? Oh, because so this, in this movie or documentary series, it's called ancient apocalypse. It's basically about that. Fascinating. Are you ready? I'm actually fascinated. I'm so excited to tell you guys. Okay. So do you know how, okay. Basically it's so during the really listen, I'm not talking like, okay. Okay. Okay. During the ice age,

Humans think, like today, that the only humans around were hunters and gatherers, okay? Like, no civilization of any kind, right? But there's a lot of evidence that proves that there was a civilization that was lost during the Ice Age because there was a great apocalyptic-esque flood. And if you think about it, in every single religion, there's a story of a flood.

That's folklore passed down because there was a flood and there were survivors, but all of the civilization got lost and it was like an apocalypse. Okay, but what does this have to do with the pyramids? So you think that people were as developed as us one day? No, you have to see this photo, Nolan. It's seriously like... And there's also another picture of Brett with a vote. It's my favorite one. It is your favorite picture. But I'm saying they were advanced, advanced enough to build shit like this. Yeah, but the Egyptians were in our lifetime pre or post-apocalypse. Yeah.

What she said. I'm just saying. It doesn't really make sense. The pyramid wasn't the only thing on planet Earth that didn't get destroyed by the flood. It was the Egyptians. It was the Egyptians.

I don't understand. You need to watch ancient apocalypse. The pyramids weren't built before the ice age. I just don't understand why you guys don't think people can. We're Neanderthals during the ice age. That's what we call cavemen. This documentary begs to differ. So they're saying there was people like Julia and Brett. No, there wasn't Julia and Brett walking around smacking their gum. That wasn't what they were saying, but there was advanced civilization. They would have been wiped out pre-pyramid.

That's what you don't get. Okay, but then these people... I don't know why... I'll be here all night. They would text in the morning. Like, do you want to build today? Hi. Hi. Hi. We have to build today. Don't worry. We had phone in. Can we get Phil's first? Yeah, we're excited. Yeah. I have tears. Oh, you guys. So why aren't the pyramids... Why were they built by aliens?

Just because it's like, how the fuck did they do that? The technology of the pyramids, like the weight of the bricks that were used to build the pyramid. And like there's the longitude and latitude. I think this is right, but it's something along these lines of where they are on the earth. She's right. Lines up in a mathematic equation that's like so advanced that like humans back then would not have been able to calculate. And it's not a coincidence. It's like to the decimal. And that.

that and the main one, whatever it's called, it's like pointed exactly to true north. And compasses didn't exist yet. Compass exists. How do you know? I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I don't think that. I think that the details that they might be a little wrong, but that's what I remember. And I was like, oh, like aliens. Yeah. There's no way humans did that back then.

Can we find it and watch it after this? Because you're going to be convinced, I'm telling you. Okay. Well, it's all theories, but a lot of these things are just... BBC says Egypt tells Elon Musk its pyramids were not built by aliens. Okay, well, that's what Egypt is saying. Yeah, Egypt wants the credit for that. Yeah. Yeah, it's just theories. Okay. No, but the math has been done. How do you know? Okay. Whatever.

Moving on from the podcast episode I listened to. Moving on from the pyramids. So I told you guys to come prepared with everyone's favorite story from college. I still haven't thought about mine. So does anyone else want to begin? Well, did one of you want me to say Red Taylor's version weekend? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Okay. So that'll be mine. Okay.

Okay, so it was fall of our senior year, and we were Swifties, and everyone made fun of us for being Swifties at the time, obviously. Yeah, it was before being a Swifty was cool for everyone. It was 2021. And it made us so angry. It made Brett especially very angry.

- Viscerally. - But so basically I never went on the weekend trips. Okay, I guess this is your story. - Okay, well, I mean, no, it can be all of our stories. - Every year at USC, there's a weekender, which is a game away in San Francisco. It's either at Cal or at Stanford. It alternates every year. - It was at- - It's right in the fall. - Where was it that year? - It was at Cal. - And so I was always staying back. I never went on these trips.

my sophomore year, but I hated my time. And then my senior, I like knew I wasn't going to have fun. So I was like, I'm also not going to go. And I was like, Brad, Brad Taylor's version is coming out that weekend. And so we were like, we're staying. And we were like, let's get Julie to stay because Julie at that point had planned to go. I had already like paid for a hotel room and everything. And we were like, girl, like Brad Taylor's version is coming out and we just think it's going to be something. Like we think this time it's going to be different.

And like, it was different. Because the Fearless Taylor's version rollout was different. There were some singles, like whatever. We had gotten nothing for Red TV and we were all like so excited at the end of our seat. And we knew it was all too well. Like we-

We were just, Taylor at that point had just started becoming like active on TikTok again. She had just started press appearances again. It felt like really exciting. Yeah, it felt really exciting. And like Fearless Taylor's version was really exciting for us, but like it felt exciting on a bigger level. It felt like, oh, people are really paying attention. Yeah. Julia ended up staying for the weekend. And how did our weekend start off? So it started off by on Thursday night.

Driving to Shibuya. Bitch. Thursday daytime. Thursday daytime. Yeah, it was like 3.30. When we go to this place called Shibuya in Calabasas. Because it's far. It's far and people start lining up to wait at 4.30. Yeah. So we left at like 3 from USC because it's also far. And I wore all red. I forget what you guys wore. I definitely didn't wear all red. No, I don't think so.

I remember you wore that. You wore your USC hoodie. You were in your Latte Larry's shirt. You were in that. You were red. No, she was in the zip up from Brandy that we both had. Yeah, yeah. That was a good. We loved that. We loved that. Yeah. So anyway, we go. We don't have to wait that long. It should be at that time because I don't have many memories. Yeah, we just we walked in. It was.

I don't know if we walked in and sat. No, we waited for like 20 minutes. But on the way, we listened to Red. The stolen version for the last time. And it was emotional. And then we had that thing with Begin Again. It was really funny. Oh, what? Oh, wait. How does it sing the chorus? No, start the pre-chorus. But you stood there looking like a little kid.

Think I'm funny, but he never did. I kept thinking in a good way. And then all love ever does is break. A bird. A. And an A. But on a Wednesday in a cab, I watched it begin again. Yeah, that was that. That was that. We also stopped. We got Go Greek. No, Big Chell. Go Greek. Big Chell. Go Greek. Go Greek. I remember being in Beverly Hills. Really? Almost positive. Okay. We got Go Greek.

I just, I really want to say that we did. I don't know why I thought it was Big Chill, but okay. Maybe it was. You remember better. And then we sat down and we were like, we had never done this before. And we were like, let's record our reaction to... All Too Well 10 Minute Version. All Too Well 10 Minute Version. Yeah. We were recording our reaction to All Too Well 10 Minute Version. It was really funny. Like, we were actually really fucking shook. I mean, it was insane. It was insane. It stopped the world. Yeah. And I uploaded it to TikTok the next day. And then Brett went to a Katie Couric...

What'd you go to? She went to see Katie Couric speak. Katie Couric's book tour. Brett went to see Katie Couric speak. Me and Jake sat on our asses. We sat on our asses doing nothing. And the video was uploaded. But while Brett was gone, Taylor Swift actually commented on the video. And this was the time where she was really active during TikTok, guys. So we like knew it was her too. Like I know that was her. It was her. And that was probably the best moment. And what did she comment again?

Oh my God, I love you guys or something. Or, oh my God, I love you. This is amazing. Something like- With hard eyes. There was hard eyes involved. TikTok ended up deleting the comment. Do you remember that? Yeah, all of Taylor's comments from that era got deleted. Crazy, but- It was when you were still Fashion Take 2. Fashion Take 2. It was when I was Fashion Take 2. And- Wait, but you're skipping.

That morning we went to the red Taylor's version themed berries that literally wasn't red Taylor's version. Oh yeah. They were playing like 1989, which is fine. I love 1989. It's actually probably my, it's in my, it's probably my number one favorite, but yeah,

It is your number one favorite. It is my number one favorite. We were expecting red sauce. We were expecting red the whole way. And then we went to Starbucks and tried to order the drink, and they didn't know what we were talking about. That was a letdown. But did they end up giving it to us? Yes, but they were like, you have to tell us what it is. And I was like, I don't fucking know what it is. It's Taylor Swift's drink at Starbucks. When did the music video come out, though? We watched that, too. We watched that the next day. Then we went to Din Tai Fung.

No. Yes, we did. No, you guys got to Intifun while I was at Katie Couric. Oh, got it. And then we went to our very first Taylor-themed club night. And I blacked the fuck out. Honestly, this is like what I was considering doing for my favorite memory, like just this night. Uh-huh. One of the most, like...

Jake has, in his life, I've seen him this drunk maybe three times. What were the others you've had? I don't know, but, like, I've seen you like that before, but, like, this was extra special. Like, yeah, so me and Brett went to the bathroom. When we come back and, like, I turn around, like, I think, like, Delicate's playing and Jake is on the floor. Was I really? Actually, like, a rag doll, like, on the floor. Like, you were, like, Brett was holding you up at points. You guys were making out at points.

- Brett and I have a habit of doing that when we talk. - Yep. - I feel like tongue, like it's a word. - This picture from senior year on your disposable where I'm on the counter, you know, and Jake is like grabbing my face. - I have a video from that same night at the omelet. Omelet, the omelet. - Was it the omelet? - The omelet? Is that what it was called? - I thought we went to the nine-o that night. - See, I'm thinking about a different night. - Oh, you're thinking about the photo of me and Julia.

What about this video I have from you guys freshman year where I also took disposables that same night? We were at the Omelette. Brett, you were in like a crazy race car crop shirt. Of course. Always. There was like that pic of me. There was like three shirts. It was a night meeting Jake. There was like three shirts Brett wore freshman year on rotation. Would you like to? Speed Hunters was one of them. Speed Hunters. Race car. Race car. And then there was one more. What was it?

There was definitely Fiorucci involved. No, there was Fiorucci, but what was the one? The fucking one, and she thought she lost it for a second? I thought that was one of the race car ones. It was like from... The LF one? LF, LF. Yes, yes. Yeah, so anyways...

We are like, Jake is so fucked up to the point. And like, we're having the best night of our lives. But Jake is like, so fucked up to the point where it's like, okay, we should probably leave. All the drinks were Taylor Swift themed. Yeah. It was like the message in the bottle. Like a vodka cranberry. Like, yeah, I'm going to order that. Times 10. It was crazy. Like, they, it was. They showed up. Yeah, it was one of the best nights ever. And also like, it was still like pre, like everyone being a Swifty, which is like so awesome. But like, it was like. When we say that, Taylor Swift was huge. Of course. Yeah.

To the... The Eros tour? I don't know if...

newer Swifties quite understand. I mean, you guys probably do. The level in which the Heiress Tour took her. Yes. And it started with Midnight's. Yes, it did start with Midnight's. But when it really fucking started with... Was Rad Taylor's. Was Rad Taylor's version. That's when we really started to see, oh, okay, this is... Like everyone who was making fun of us in college... Was like, oh, have you heard all too well? Did you get tickets to... It was like... There was this kind of like...

After what happened post, when Taylor Swift is over party with reputation and everything, she had never gotten that court of public opinion truly, truly, truly back. Mm-hmm.

I mean, she, folklore was like, okay, wait, whoa, what's happening? No, Rad Taylor's version is like really when shit started going down. I mean, All Too Well, Time and a Version, was that like the longest song that's ever stayed at number one for like a certain amount? It was, yeah. It was unprecedented. I mean, everyone knows, but like, I'm just saying, it was just a great community in that, like,

Those were like our through and through Swifty friends. Yeah, we stayed with them the whole night. Yeah, those were the night. Like, we were getting each other drinks. Like, it was also our best friend Trudy was there with us. And, like, that was also, like, unreal. I think I threw up all over my leg. Yeah, so let me get to one of my favorite memories of all time. So we're finally, like, Jake's on the floor. Like, on the floor. Like, there's cranberry juice all over his legs. Oh, my God, I know this story. And we're like, okay, like, we're at Trudy. Like, we should probably, like, get out of here.

So we walk out finally. We're like, we get about halfway down the block. We're like in downtown LA. We get Jake. Also, there was no re-entry into Taylor Swift night at where were we? I don't even remember. It's like a warehouse club at 89 or club nineties. I think it was. And we used to like check every week and be like, what's the next Taylor night? We had nothing else to do. Nothing.

So we get, like, halfway down the block, and all of a sudden, Jake, like, gets, like, a spurt of energy. He, like, perks up. He turns around. He starts sprinting back, and he's like, I need to go, like, sprinting. Like, he was running, and he dives headfirst through the bouncers. Like, there's no reentry. Like, the bouncers couldn't stop him. He dove, and we were like, what do we do? Did he hit his head or something? Yeah, like, you were a mess. Why did he go back in, though?

He was like, I'm not done. I did hit my head. He was like, I'm not done. Like, I want to go back. And we were like, me and Brett were screaming from a block away. Can we watch you? That's my party trick. It's like, I will run back.

I just love that. I love to, I love when I'm out. So I did throw up all over myself. I don't even remember how I woke up. You threw up everywhere. Like we had to take you back and I had to like pull your throw up soak jeans. Yeah. We had to get you undressed. Like I was in college, you guys. Okay. And it was Taylor Swift night and it was post COVID. We hadn't gone out. We've had some fun times at Taylor Swift night. Yeah. The second Taylor Swift night we went to, like it was good, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same. We got two bites. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Do you want to tell your favorite college memory? I don't really know what mine is. I think it... The thing about you is you're always coughing. No, I'm... She's trying to signal you what your favorite memory is. Oh. It's me. Crawling on the floor. I'm also not always coughing. What? I... No, when you start, you can't stop. When you start anything, you can't stop. Don't put it in my head. When you start coughing, you can't stop. When you start sneezing, you can't stop. Yes.

I do sneeze like a million times per minute. It like gets annoying. Like it's like at first you're like, oh my God, poor girl. And then when you're on the eighth sneeze, you're like, I will punt you. But my sneeze isn't an annoying sneeze, I don't think. No, it's not. But Julia, when you're on an eighth sneeze. I don't know. Oh my God. She's like one, two, two, two, two. You're at four. You're like, okay, damn. Eight is dramatic. Julia, I swear to God. And then you're on like five, a two. And I'm like, if she does that shit one more time, like I'm going to freak out.

Achoo! I'm like, oh, I have to get up. I have to excuse myself. Yeah. Okay, my favorite college memory is actually our final night. It was the day we graduated. Which, like, in the moment, we were like, peace out. Actually, no, you guys were really depressed. I was so sad. I cried the night before graduation. I went to Julia's room and I cried. Remember? Yeah, we were really upset. It was a great year. It was a great year.

That was one of the drunkest I've ever been to. We all got very drunk. I mean, me and Brett had a dinner before, like family dinner. I crashed our family dinner. And the guy at the restaurant was like friends with Brett. The Cicconis? No. No. All of that. Shout out. And he gave us these drinks called the Naked and Famous. There's like something in it, like chartreuse. Chartreuse and mezcal. Yeah. Ew. It's like...

Some really high percentage of alcohol. Oh, sorry. I just said ew. And when you say ew to something Brett enjoys, it will ruin your night. No, I don't think we love that. It's not something she feels personally about. The other day, she said, I got this for lunch. I said, Brett said, do not yuck my yum. You know that's my number one pet peeve. And I'm like, oh, fuck.

I was listening to the story and Brett was, Brett whipped her phone. I was listening and she was like, oh yeah, I'm getting this in Minnesota. It's called a Juicy Lucy and it looks delicious. But it's a cheeseburger with the cheese inside of it. And Jake obviously tuned in as soon as the phone came out. And he was like, and he was like, you know what, that Lucy goosey put you into a fever, bitch. Brett's TikTok of all the food she tried at the Minnesota fair killed me.

The fried ranch? How did they even do that? You didn't talk to me about that. I didn't talk to her about it either. I'm just bringing it up now. Yeah, well, to be honest, like everything- A cookie basket? Those cookies are still on the floor of her bedroom. Yep. I was wondering if you saw them. Sweet Martha's. Yeah, Sweet Martha's. Which is the one you said slightly disappointing. The fried ranch. It was disgusting. She gave it a two out of ten. How do you fry liquid? That's what I was wondering. It did not taste good. It was upsetting.

The corn was good. And the corn dog was really good. I love a corn dog. The corn dog was really good. Have you ever had a corn dog? No. Of course she hasn't. It was really good, though. You really haven't, haven't you? No, I don't want that. And then Max and I were supposed to go to the dairy barn to get a chocolate malt. And guess fucking what? They closed before we could get there. What time was it? 7 p.m.? No, it was like 9.30. Like, they should have still been open. Anyway. So what was your favorite thing you ate at the Minnesota State Fair? The cookies, right? The cookies. Sweet Martha's cookies. The cookies.

Did you like know you were going to get Sweet Martha's before? Yeah. We talked about it. It's like Max's like favorite thing, like whatever. Where the fuck is Penelopas? No, Passandra. Where the fuck is Passandra? She's right behind you. No, that's Patrick. No, right behind you.

Nolan's knowing of course I just got really scared for a second I mean that was about to be really bad Suni Lee was at the state fair the same night as me disappointing that you didn't see her oh yeah they love they love the Olympics yeah the Olympic gymnast so where were we

Oh, Naked and Afraid. Or Naked and Famous. Naked and Famous. And it just, like, we had two or three. We were so fucked up. Like, I don't throw up ever. Like, I seriously am not a thrower-upper. We made it to Buffalo Club. All of a sudden, we're like, ooh, dancing last night at college. See you next week. Kidding. Taking lemon drop shots. Yeah. Like, everyone was like, oh, my God, this is my last night. Seen them for a while. It was very emotional. All of a sudden, turned my head around.

I don't know, like, I'm going to try to show you guys this, okay, Julia? Like, start talking about what. Okay, so basically what happened was is Brett lost her phone. And, like, I'm sure all of you know, like, that's a really big problem for Brett. I'm addicted to my phone. So she's like, no, it starts off with her turning to us and being like, Jake, Jules, like, have you seen my phone? Like, I lost my phone. All of a sudden we're like, no, bitch, we haven't seen your phone. All of a sudden she's on the floor hysterically sobbing, grabbing onto anything she can hold like this.

bad obviously but like we were fucking walking her like a dog we made our own we'd be like brad brad come on she wouldn't get up off the floor we made our rounds and everyone be looking we would be standing and brett would be crawling has anyone seen on the ground we'd be like

And everyone would be like, the entire, everyone knew. And then, so what Julia and I would do. No, we felt really bad. But like, let me preface this by saying we felt really bad for Bright. Like, that's not fun, like to lose your phone, especially for her. But like, we were also really fucked up, like naked and famous. Like, we were really drunk. It was the last night of college. And so we were like, hey, Jake finally finds me and he has Bright. And he's like, yeah. And then I was like.

Peyton, get over here. It's your turn. Brett never found her phone. No, she did the next morning. It was in a plant. It was in a hole. It was in a ditch. It was so annoying. It was in this like little like tree hole. It was really sobbing. Oh, the floor grabbing everything and then Julia was like, I have to take her home. I have to take her home. No, no, no. Then things completely flipped. No, but you said, I have to go home and Peyton was like, why? Why? Why? And then, do you remember? I was like, Brett's his

crawling on the ground. I gotta take her home. Why? I started last night and called, you're weird. You're weird. And then Julia was like, bitch, I would do it for you. And Peyton was like, I turned around. Do you remember that? So true. Yeah, she was pissed. It was the craziest thing. So we call an Uber and then we get in the Uber and then literally it's like,

I don't even know. Night and day. Switch. Night and day, the light flips switches or whatever, and I'm taking care of Julia as she throws up out of the car. And, like, I really don't throw up, you guys. Like, that's a big deal. And so I'm like, what the fuck? And I've, like, sobered up, like, whatever, and then I'm, like, using her phone. I don't, not, like, actually sobered up. I was still drunk. Well, she wasn't, like, taking shots the way we were. She was crawling on the ground. I was crying and crawling. So anyway, like, I text John, and I'm like...

Julia is like not okay. Like whatever. John wasn't at Buffalo Club? No. Then Julia is like throwing up all night. Yeah. We have really funny photos from that. It was a fun night. I'm pretty sure Drew took me home. Oh, that's nice of her. It's hot, huh? Yeah.

Duia, you have to sit up. Okay, like for just a second, can I lie down? Yeah. So, anyway. You know, the stories from college aren't hitting the way, we tell these all the time, like is there one that like, you know what, maybe they'll start to naturally come up in the Tell Me What's Wrongs. I think they probably will. I think that's what's going to happen. Do you want to do anything else before we get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs? Should we do like, what's your Taylor song? You know what, like I didn't really listen to Taylor today, I was really on a Sabrina kick.

I have really been on a sprinting kick. I'm obsessed with the album. What's everyone's favorite song? Mine's Sharpest Tool. Okay. Mine's Slim Pickens. Yeah, it's so good. I made them play it five times today during the photo shoot. Mine's Coincidence. Coincidence. Drove in LA to her thighs. Wait, your car drove itself from LA to her thighs. It's a fire album. Palm Springs looks nice. So good. I like Slim.

I like we were going right, but you took a left. That's the best line. Ooh, I like that line. That's my favorite one. We were going right, but you took a left. But you took a left. But we were going right. I like Bed, Chem, too, a lot. With every song, I know it's a good album because I know while I'm listening to these songs. I also love Fly to Girls. I think the bridge is really good. Yeah, I like... Can we see her in concert when she comes here? Yeah, when's she coming? Is she doing an arena tour? Staples. Crypto.

Crypto. Remember when it was Staples? Yeah. I still call it Staples. It's not crypto. Same. It is Staples. Sorry, crypto. So anyway, yeah, that was that. So, oh, so what's everyone's Sabrina song of the day? Ben. She spells. She can't. Oh, no.

Mine's sharpest tool. Okay. Mine's slim pickings. Didn't we just do this? Well, we talked about like what our favorite song is. Yeah. That's what I was going to say and then my water spilled. Oh, okay. What is everyone therapist about today? You know what I'm therapist about. That you're sick? Yeah. Am I going to get sick? I knew. I was waiting for it. No. And Brad's about to be like, no, I'm not contagious.

I don't think you'll get sick because, like, I'm not... We aren't, like, sharing water and shit. Right. And, like, I'm not sneezing. Bitch, we're in our end, so...

Cuddle up. Yeah, this is true too. So that's what you're a therapist about. I hate being sick more than anything in the world, as you guys know. It ruins me. It really does ruin you. I'm so dramatic about it, but it's the worst thing ever. I'm a therapist about... I'm a therapist about the temperature in here. Oh, you know what? Me too. I'm going to take that one as well. I'm really a therapist about how hot it is in here. I'm getting lightheaded, honestly. My head hurts.

I feel really sick. Should we go into the tell me what's wrong? Do you want to talk at all about like Orlando? Like, I feel like that's why we're here. Maybe it'll come up. Maybe it'll come up. Okay. What? We need to put our ears on. There's some longer ones in here. That was targeted at me, huh? It was a little bit. What? When my roommate was blackout drunk, she brought a chunk of cement home from the club and tried to throw it at me.

I stayed home sober that night and she woke me up to do this. We have had zero issues before this and got along great. Now she claims that she doesn't remember any of it and avoids conversations about it. Okay, so your roommate might be a serial killer. How did she get a chunk of cement? How did she carry it? And try to throw it at her while she was sleeping? Like, that sounds like us. I was going to say, why does this sound like us? This, I just, immediate prescription is Worst Roommate Ever on Netflix. Yeah. Yeah.

What? Like a chunk of cement is next. Honest to God, maybe police. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe like get a lock on your door. She'd probably throw the chunk through the lock. How did she get the chunk? That's what I'm stuck on. Upstairs. Yeah, I'm still at the restaurant. Like a chunk of cement home from the club. A chunk of cement? That's what I'm saying. What does that even look like? Did she take a piece of the sidewalk out? I'm confused. It's giving pyramids. It is giving pyramids. Yeah, I would call the cops. Yeah.

Or, like, move out. And then watch The Roommate with Leighton Meester? Yeah, I would just move out. You'd recommend moving out? Yeah. What if she can't break her lease? Cops? No, there's always a way to break a lease. Yeah. Is there? Usually. I don't know. Extenuating... Was that the right word? Extenuating circumstances? What, my roommate tried to kill me with a block of cement? Yeah, like, get me off the lease. Well, if the roommate's, like, saying she doesn't remember, like...

- Well, that's scary. That's scary. Like what else does she do when she doesn't remember? - So true. - That bugs me out. - Okay. - My roommate's boyfriend got charged with stealing a car and I asked her not to bring him over to our house until he goes to court.

She proceeded to wait until I went out of town to sneak him in, but I caught it on our ring camera. Help. You know what this is fucking giving? When you were roommates with someone who had COVID and you'd be like, don't leave your room. Don't leave your room. I'll know if you left your room. And they would leave the room and turn the AC down. And you'd be like, you touched the AC. The whole house is contaminated. It's not considerate. That's so something. You'd be like, do not bring him over. Yeah. What? I don't want to. Yeah.

Yeah. Charged with stealing a car. She doesn't. I would like to know the reasoning as to why are you waiting until court to not bring him over? Like what's court going to change? She stole the car, right? Yeah. But maybe she thinks he might. She doesn't want to be like involved in the crime. Or maybe he'll plead not guilty. That's really smart. You're smart. That's what. Yeah, I'd be like come over, honestly. I wouldn't care.

Maybe he'll plead not guilty and maybe he's saying he didn't. I don't know. This sounds very layered and I'm going to prescribe dude, where's my car? Or the first episode of the OC when they steal the car. Do I stay in LA or move to NYC? Call me. That's a good one. That's such a good one. Okay. Her name's Penny. Such a cute name. I fucking love that name. Penny. Hello. Hi, Penny. It's Jake Shane.

No, it's not. It is. With Julia and Brett. Say hi. Hey, pet. Wait, we love you. We're here to give you it. We're here to give... Is that your dog? Oh, no, that was me. Oh, my God.

Wait, we're good. We're here to give you advice on if you should stay in L.A. or move to NYC. Are you from L.A.? No, I'm from San Francisco. I live in L.A., and I've lived in L.A. for six years, and I don't know what to do. Why are you—what's prompting you to, like, think, like, I kind of want to move? I think I need a change. Let me just say this, and, like, I love L.A., and, like, I don't see myself moving anytime soon. Watch it. But—

But I will say, I think that having a New York moment in your young years of life is something that if you can do it, is really special. How old are you? I'm 24.

I see New York for you a little bit. I just think if you can move to New York, do it. No, you're right. You're right. You're right. Like, oh my God, this is such prime time for New York. Like, it'll be out of your comfort zone. It'll be out of your comfort zone, but it's worth it. Do you know people in New York? So many. Oh my God. And also, you're going to meet... It's so easy to meet people in New York. No, I'm not even kidding. This is literally... Like, I did just find a lease to live. For how... For...

She just signed the lease? Well, we were actually just talking about how, well, honestly, it's not like you're packing up your shit and moving tomorrow, so live it out. New York is on the horizon. I think you'll regret it if you don't New York it. You guys, this is the confirmation I needed. This was literally the sign. I don't think you understand. No, can you update us on if you do move to New York? Absolutely. I would literally be honored. I will shout you out. Okay. I love you, Penny. Do you want to say? Absolutely.

I love you too. You don't understand. You are my tumor. My friends know you guys are my favorite. I love you guys. We love you, Penny. We love you. You're actually one of the final calls of season one. This is the season finale of Therapist. It is the season finale. It is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I love you. Do you want to say bye to the pussies? Oh, my gosh. Love you. Love you, Penny. Bye, Penny. Obsessed. I love Penny. That was a great call. I hope we run into her. I think she'll move to New York. I really think she should, too. Same, but she'll be in L.A. for a little longer. I think that's the perfect situation. She'll be in L.A. for a few months until her lease is over, and then New York. Exactly. Aligned. I was hooking up with a guy for a few months, and when I asked if there was a potential to be more, he said he can only date the, quote, perfect girl.

Dial her up. It is. Wait, and it's Brett and Julia too. Say hi. Hey. We love you. Hi, Josie. Wait, I need to tell you something, Josie. This man that you're hooking up with is despicable. Despicable. Oh, thank God, Josie. How old does this tell me what's wrong? Okay, okay, okay. And you know what? It's advice to other people out there.

But you've since caught him up. You know what? This is great. Like, a therapist success story without even going to therapist. Like, do you want to tell the pussies how you did it? Well, he, like, ghosted me, so. Josie, I'm so sorry. Josie, girl. Josie. You're better than this. So it's all good. Yeah, and you know what? He probably thinks about you.

Yep, probably. I bet you think about me in your house with your organic shoes and your million dollar couch. I'm too much in shock to think of with lyrics. No, I know, I know. But you know what? I'm so... Yeah, is that okay with you? Oh my God, of course. You're okay if we put this in? Yes, of course. Okay. Well, fuck this loser guy. He's a loser. Yeah, F him. Okay, well, do you want to say bye to the pussies?

Love you, Josie. You deserve better than that and you are the perfect girl.

This girl and I were best friends for 10 years. Very toxic. On and off friendship. When we finally cut ties permanently, she blew up on TikTok, posting about me and spreading lies to her new followers. She texted me to meet up and hash things out. Part of me wants to do it to speak my piece. Part of me knows I don't owe her anything. And the people close to me know the truth. Do I do it? Absolutely fucking not. Because this girl, you're going to meet up with her and she's going to go back, get up on TikTok. Could you just say what after the...

I can't. I will admit, I need a refresher too. Oh, she texted me to meet up and hash things out. But the first part, she was posting on TikTok about the friendship. We finally cut ties permanently. She blew up on TikTok posting about me and spring lies.

Uh-uh. Don't meet up with her. She is going to – you are going to go meet up with her. If you go meet up with her, she's literally using it for content. Can I just say I think the most powerful thing you can do is give no response. Like, you don't owe anyone your time. You don't. You really don't. Sounds like this girl doesn't deserve your time at all because she's been posting live. It is so foul that she is – I just hate – I hate that. I hate that. And I just think, like, not responding is very powerful and, like –

Keep your power, girl. My thing is, I just like, how do you know her intentions to meet up with you are true? I mean, you can't trust her. She probably wants to get on TikTok and be like, so I met up with the girl. Story time about the time I met up with my ex-best friend. Yeah. No, I absolutely don't. Views are like a drug, and people will do a lot of things for that. Mm-hmm.

Really and truly. I'm serious. And I'm dead fucking serious. Yeah, so probably secretly vlog it. Don't do that. You don't owe her anything. Sounds like you have a great support system. Bye. What could we prescribe? Real Friends by Camila Cabello. Yeah, 100%. Miss moving on. Fifth Harmony. That's one of our faves. Wow. Both Camila. Wow. I just got chills. I really like this guy, but one of my closest friends used to like him. I don't want to hurt her, but if he wanted me back, would it be wrong to get with him? Like, I would.

I would. But that's because I'm so desperate. Like, I can't. Like, I don't think you should. I don't think it's worth the friendship if it's going to break the friendship. Wait, did they, like, date? Yeah, I mean, that's a thing. She just liked him. I mean, you kind of have to gauge it based off your friends. You have to ask her, too. I think, yeah, in an ideal world, you should ask her. But, like, is it worth losing the friendship? No. No. Because there are a lot of boys out there.

You can watch Euphoria season two, Maddie, Nate, and Cassie just for proof that it's not worth it. Yeah. You should talk to them and be like, hey, like, do you still have a crush on this guy? Like, what's the vibe here? You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm going to be honest. I didn't, like, I missed half that. But, like, I will say...

It sounds like there's a girl, like, being good friends going on here. Like, and I think stick to the girl. A girl liked a guy, and then now, later on, her friend likes the guy, and the guy likes the friend. Yeah. She's, like, shy pursue. I think. That was a very difficult way of explaining it. No, I got it. I got it. I'd say be a girl's girl, first and foremost. There are so many boys out there. There's so many fish in the sea.

How many though? There are. And friendships are girl friendships that are like actually meaningful. Like those are not easy to come by. They're few and far between. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me on a work trip. I've blocked work. Work trip is in quotations. I've blocked him on almost everything besides Venmo and he will send me money to send a message. We have both moved on and are still dating other people but he will still send me Venmos. Should I block him there or continue getting my bag? Continue getting your bag. Get your bag, girl. Absolutely. Get your bag.

And that's not on that. I remember hearing about someone who did that to their ex, but they wouldn't send, like, large amounts of money. It was like a cent. They'd send, like, a cent to be like, please unblock me. Continue getting your bag. Like, I prescribe...

The Wolf of Wall Street. I broke up with my boyfriend in April because I needed someone more motivated, but I keep drunk texting him to come over and I just don't know how to feel. Yeah, I mean. Delete the number. You broke up with him for a good reason. Let me just say that. Yeah. First and foremost. So stick with your gut. Aligned. Because I think motivation is really important. Aligned. Like you don't want to bum. And yeah, I mean, I can't really like drunk texting, you know.

It's in sometimes I'm really I'm guilty. Yeah, I'm guilty of sometimes but like just maybe try not to I think try to delete the contact slash deleted texts off my phone. No, that was Jake. Oh, Jake deleted texts off. Remember how mad you were? She couldn't see what I had sent. It was my birthday party. Yeah, that night I got so drunk. Yeah. So that was the final tell me what's wrong. That was the final tell me what's wrong of the season. That's crazy. That's crazy. I had an idea.

Okay. I think that we should, since like the reason we're here is because it's like this is where it all started, we should talk about the favorite, one of the favorite, one of our favorite Orlando skits. Yes, that we've giggled at. Okay. Because we're the girls that were giggling. Oh, okay. I would love to hear what your favorite skits were. Okay, so our mutual favorite skit

Although we didn't film it, is Moses parting the Red Sea. I filmed that myself. Yeah. You set up your phone on that counter. I changed lives. Changed lives. Like, that is seriously, like, I will never not laugh at that video. You really like that one that much? Because it's just, like, that's how me and Brett laugh at you the most is when you do shit like that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, that is how you get us always. Yeah. Just like your rip. Yeah, it was good. It was good. What are your other favorites? Um... Thinking...

I mean, J-O-H on half the page is always going to be up there.

And that was one of the first ones that I was there for. Because do you remember, you kind of blew up that week I was home in Chicago? No, it all started happening the second you touched down in L.A. Yes, yes, but you had done your first few skits. Myself, myself. No one filmed them. That was the first friend filmed. Oh, really? Yes. That was the one that was so funny when you were on the phone and you were like, the British are coming, the British are coming. The Paul Revere telling. He recorded by himself.

Oh, you're right. Isaac dropping the nip in myself. Okay, you're right. So that was the first friend filmed one ever. John Hancock? Yeah, that was the first friend filmed one. Was it? Yes, that was the first one. I think that was the day.

Yeah, it was. And then after that, we did the dinosaur scene in the comet. Yes. And when was the Jesus one in the tomb? No, like, Rebecca, Rebecca, he's dead. Yeah, that was when A.V. came over, I would say, like, three days in. But the next day. No, one of also my favorites, I think, Brett, film this one, I think I was at work, is Bible Pay. You know, I've seen that one. Bible Pay. Bible Pay makes me cry laughing. I've seen that one so many times, I don't even laugh at it anymore. It's so funny. I remember filming that one. I think my personal favorite.

Yeah, what's your favorite from the Orlando era? What is the one I did that I finally broke at? Bologna. Bologna. That is also one of my favorites. Bologna was sick. I, like, couldn't catch my breath. But I'm trying to think of, like, one that was, like, very smart that I did. I can't. This wasn't on Orlando, but one that got me, like. Peppa. Chicken.

Check in for Peppa. Check in for Peppa. You know what my personal favorite right now is? It always, it's Cinderella waiting for her Uber. I love that one. Oh, for Cindy. For Cindy. For Cindy. That was a really, really funny one. Cindy was good. Cindy was good. With the pumpkin, yeah. God, I used to do so many skits. I need to get back into that, huh? I used to, I'm trying to think. I used to do, what's a skit of mine that missed?

I mean, we have recorded a lot that you haven't put up there. Not like a lot, a lot, but like. Well, besides favorite skits, what's your favorite memory from Orlando? Favorite fight from Orlando. Oh, we got in so many fights, Jake. I'll tell you my favorite fight. Me and Brett never fought in Orlando. We didn't fight much in Orlando. Okay, so what was your favorite fight to witness? Mine was Couchgate. Couchgate is ridiculous.

That kind of was, that kind of involved all of us, though, because we walked to Target. Remember, Jake? I was just really mad. Julia was trying to put the couch to the door and just walked and sat down. She's like, I can't. We ordered a couch, and they, like. It didn't fit through the. It didn't fit through the. We had no furniture for months. Months. And then Brett's mom was like, what if you just got pillows and blankets and put them on the ground? I was like. Brett was like, that's what my mom said.

floor-sitting situation. We're trying to find the cheapest possible place we could get a functional couch. We had just graduated and we didn't realize how expensive couches were. I thought they were $50. Yeah.

I thought couches were $50. And so then we went, wait, we need to put the videos of us. What was that place called? I'm blanking out. Living Spaces. Living Spaces. And Jake just kept riding up and down the escalator. That was when I was doing the smile thing. He was doing the massage chair and me and Brett were like huffing and puffing like, please direct us to the cheapest couch possible. I couldn't have given less of a fuck. I'm sorry. But he was like running around filming himself. So finally we like find a couch that was like

It was, like, still, like, expensive. And we were like, okay, guys, like, this is an investment. Can we fit this? Yes, we can fit it. We did the measurements. The people from Living Spaces show up. The couch won't fit through the door. It will not. And, like, it was such a process to get this couch. And, like, it was a big deal. Like, we had been talking about the couch. We were like, we got the fucking couch. Like, let's go. We're like, we're so excited. It was, like, exciting. We're going to be able to watch TV. Brett's mom bought us two chairs from CB2. And I'm pretty sure there was a pillow that said, girl, please. Was there not? No.

I can't even. I literally can't even. I literally can't, I think. I literally can't. And then there was a photo of a pill. Yeah, the chill pill. The chill pill. And then, so whatever. From society sex. So the couch won't fit, and I'm just like, I just felt like I had invested a lot of time into the couch. I mean, we all had, but I was just very emotional about it. And I had to excuse myself when the couch wouldn't fit. I was calling people crying. I'd say we would hear her...

Jake's like, do you want to go to Target? Yes, we went to Target. We walked to Target. That did nothing. Pretty sure we picked up gum. Yeah, we did. You got some like pans, I think. Yeah, maybe. So anyways, we finally did get a couch and within a month, Jake burnt a whole... Fucking couch. That couch was horrible. That couch was seriously...

We just thought we wouldn't notice. We got home and me and Brett were like. Do you remember the terrace? Do you remember what was on the terrace? My silk pillowcase? Remember the silk pillowcase? And the tins of Garrett. And the bench that started rotting. The bench that started rotting and the tins of Garrett. What else happened in that? I'm trying to think of like, that apartment was not real. We slept on the floor, Julie and I. For like three months. Three months because waiting for our bed frames, remember? I do. Do you remember that bed frame I used to have?

Of course. How could we forget? That bed frame. It came from college. I'm pretty sure you still have that desk. No, I do not have that. Yes, I do have that desk. Yeah. That room, my room was stuffed to the brim. Yeah, it was really small. Your room was literally smaller than this studio. I will say. It was like this size, I think. Yeah, it was. A little smaller. Smaller. I would say one thing about that apartment was that it got really cold.

I also really. We put it at 64. Yep, we would. And I also really enjoyed when we would get our lattes at Winston Pies. Best vanilla. And our Arnold Palmer's at Magnolia. Uh-huh. We lived right. Oh my God, those Magnolia Arnold Palmer's were sick. That was so sex in the city of us. Yeah, so true. I mean, I've never seen sex in the city, as you guys know, but that was very sex in the city of us. You know what's so fucked up is we always said that we were going to get a slice of cake from Magnolia. And we literally never did. It really, it was a fever dream. We had a bodega on the corner, which is like honestly rare for a lot of people.

Yeah, it was open really late. It was open like all hours. What was it called? Come on. The corner store. Turner's. Turner's. Yeah, it is Turner's. We loved that corner store. We would get waters there every night. And he popped back in the other week. And he remembered us. He was like, where have you guys been?

We used to get puffs there before and they made it illegal to sell puffs at the convenience store. Yeah. I would, it was the best because I would walk over and they had the mini LaMarca bottles so I could go literally just walk a minute and make myself a spritz right as I was like ready to go out. Whereas now-

We had some really fun nights and fun days. We had really fun nights in Orlando. I feel like we had so much more fun nightlife when we lived there. I agree. We were 22 and 23. It was just the jump from, not to scare anyone, but I do feel the jump from 22 to 24 is stark. Stark. I feel like the jump from 22 to 24 is...

Really intense. When you're 22, you're like, you're out of college. I'm going to still go blackout. Now when you're like 24, it's like, ugh. I feel like such an adult. I know. Way more so than I did two years ago. Same. So much more so. Do you remember the sound the door would make when we would open the door? Ding dong. What was it again? Every time we opened the door, we couldn't leave the house. And then Jake would leave his bathroom door open.

And then Jake would leave his bathroom door open and you'd walk into the front. And I'd go, Jake! It was really annoying. It was so annoying. Oh, my God. I'm trying to think of, like, other favorite. There was Couchgate. Like, me and Jake shared a wall. Oh, sorry. You, what? No, yeah. Do you remember the candle wax on the counter? Oh, Brett was so mad. What happened? That was one of the most mad I've ever seen her. What happened? You...

you got candle wax all over the counter and Brett was texting me for three days like, Jules, I've been scrubbing for days. Like, is this

He won't come up. He won't even help. He hasn't offered to help. I've been scrubbing. The counter's permanently ruined. We're going to get charged so much money. Because you were filming a TikTok, but it was pre-fame because it was in the fall. And you like hit the candle as you were filming. And it was on. All the wax. And the wax went all over the counter. All over the counter. And in classic Jake fashion, you said. I think I went home that week. I think I went home or something. I loved Orlando. I loved Orlando. Then there was the laundry fight. Yeah. Which.

And then me and Jake, like, shared a wall, and his, like, Alexa would go off for 50 minutes every morning, and, like, he would be gone and not turn it off. Like, that was really annoying. Yeah, like, sometimes I would just leave. This is making me really nostalgic. I know. I know.

And we used to, when we started getting a lot of like PR packages, the house just became completely unlivable. Yeah. We would like crawl. It was like we lived in like, you know, you know, when Wally, have you seen Wally? Yeah. When the thing goes over all the trash. That's what our apartment looks like. Yeah. It was crazy. And then we would get, well, before it burned down, we would go to Isakaya. Yeah. For dinner. That sounds amazing right now. I had a couple prompts that we could maybe.

maybe? Oh, give us. Nolan has some prompts for us, you guys, for the finale. Yes, Nolan. I was going to ask, I don't know how much you guys watch the show, but I wanted to ask you your top three favorite moments of the season. Give me behind the scenes. No, no, that's a great one, Nolan. Thank you. What are your top three favorite moments from the season? Episodes excluding yours. Um,

The Alexander 23 one where you did JetBlue. Yes. Top number one, top moment. Same. I love that episode. The role model one was great. Ed Sheeran. Role model what? Ed Sheeran when you're like, when you realize the legs don't work. Yeah, yeah. And then when Glenn Powell is telling the story about his like sister's friend. Yeah, so those are all clips on TikTok. Every single one of them. We don't watch. I'm sorry. Like we just don't. They get enough of me. It's actually crazy. So it's crazy.

I put a lot of time into this. Me and Nolan put a lot of time into this. No, I know that you guys do, and that makes it so amazing for your millions of fans. But we get to live with you. I feel like you tell us about the episodes, and I'm like, wow, that's awesome. Can't wait to see the clips. Yeah. Okay. Any more prompts? You know what? I'll tell you my three favorite moments from the season that you guys didn't see just on TikTok clips.

The Denim on Denim story. Yeah. Of course. It was very traumatizing for me. What's the Denim on Denim story, you guys? I have no idea. No idea. Cool. The Denim on Denim story. You know, when I was really into girls, really, really, like, into prescribing girls to people, that was some of my favorite... Shut up. Might I add, Jake...

The girls phenomenon. You want to tell everyone why you started watching girls again? Yeah, because Julia told me to start re-watching girls. Like, everyone's like, Jake Proffitt's Girls Resurgence. Like, that started with me. Yeah, Julia did start watching girls again and told me to watch it. I honestly, I loved... This fucking mic, you guys, like, has been through... It's, like, swinging. I'm not speaking. Like, can I reapply my glass? Okay, okay. My second favorite moment was when Alice would do... What? Like, please, like...

You have nothing to add. You don't watch the show. I said I wanted to watch it. Okay. Well, when Alice did the intro and we were talking about our predictions for Coachella and we were crying out because we predicted by day two we would be miserable and wanting to go home.

With our spray tans streaking off. My third favorite moment is, okay, so denim on denim, Alice. What's denim on denim? Seriously, don't even. Okay. That's crazy that you guys don't know denim on denim. That's crazy that you guys don't know denim on denim. Like, that's actually crazy to me. Well, you didn't clip it, so it couldn't be that crazy. Some shit is for the people that watch the show. Well. It was when I went on a date and he told me it wasn't a date.

Oh, please. But how does that have to do anything with denim? I was wearing denim on denim from the Tommy Hilfiger show. I know about this. Yeah, you called me about this. See, this is why we don't watch the show. You talk about things that we already know about. Yeah. You called me in real time saying, hey, I just went on a date, but it wasn't a date. Brett was definitely like, he's a loser. Yeah.

Yeah. So. Yeah. Okay. What's your third favorite? Okay. My third favorite. Nolan, like what is, what are some things you remember that I don't? Can I say the entirety of the John Summit episode? Yeah. John Summit was a fucking highlight. Oh, you guys weren't here. I was here. Oh yeah. And he walked in and Brett was at the counter like, because he walked in and we just weren't expecting him to walk in and the house was a mess.

I mean, that happens a lot. Okay. So I think the other, my, my final, my final favorite moment, you know what pussies?

Why don't you tell me your favorite moment from the season down below? Whatever your guys' favorite is, that's my favorite. Do you have any other prompts, Nolan? I love these prompts. Yeah, the other one for you would be what was the biggest, like, oh, my God moment of starting this show? Wow. The biggest oh, my God moment was probably when Glenn Powell agreed to come on or when Ed Sheeran came on.

That was pretty crazy. What was your guys' biggest, like, oh, my God moment for the show? Where you were like, what the, like, Jake, come on. Ed Sheeran. I mean, like, aside from those, I think. Camila was really cool. Yeah, Camila, we were shook as fuck. I was, like, very excited for her to come over.

Yeah. And then I remember it was either the Glenn or Ed episode. I forget which one, but Mac sent me a clip that was like going viral on Twitter, which means it was on his Twitter. And I was like, that's crazy. Damn. Honest to God, I think my biggest oh my God moment really and truly was I really thought no one was going to listen to this. It was when after the first episode came out and it hit number three on the charts. That was my biggest. I was like, whoa, what? Like that I was shook as fuck.

So what did we learn, though, today? Like, today or, like... This is our final what did we learn today of the season. Or, like, should we say, like, what did we learn, like, from Orlando to now? Oh, yeah. What did we learn from Orlando to now? I've learned that you gotta keep your friends around you no matter what. Yeah. No matter how many times you want to kill each other. No matter how many times you are questioning, like, everything. Like...

It's not worth it. Like, you need your friends. You need your girls. You need them. You need them. You need them. No one knows you like them. Yeah. That's what I learned. Yeah. I mean, that's, like, probably the best one. I was going to say the same. I just feel like a lot of new people have been introduced in all of our lives. And we've all still, I feel closer than ever. What do they say about, like, I don't remember the saying. But I think, I don't remember. Are you having a stroke? I don't have any.

I don't know if anything has. Okay. My thing is, like, a lot of new people have been introduced to our lives, all of us. And I think we're the closest we've ever been. We're still as close. And I think it's important. I think it's the only reason we're sane. Yeah. We're family. I agree. Family. We are family. Yeah. Whether we like it or not. Yeah. We all know way too much about each other to ever stop being friends.

I think about that all the time. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. Nobody knows me like these two. Let me just tell you. Yeah. Nobody knows me like these two. It's bad. They've seen me at my lowest. Like, I think you guys see through everything. Yeah, we do. Well, I've learned. I didn't learn that I love you guys, but I've learned just how much I love you guys. I think you've learned to appreciate us more. I agree. Oh, okay.

So you think I've become a better friend? Yeah. I do think so. You have become a better friend. And I think the fame made you realize especially, like, oh, my God, like, Brett and Julia have truly been there. Since the beginning. Like, since before any of this. Before, yeah. Like, I really think that, yeah. Yeah. We've stuck around. We've stuck around. Yeah, I spoke about that today in my interview. Oh. Let's see. Yeah, I think that I've seen you grow a lot as a person.

Throughout this whole thing. Really and truly. As like for the better? Yeah, for the better. Oh, okay. Like I think a lot of the things that like you used to do that like would annoy me, you've like grown from. Yeah. And you've handled it all very eloquently. Thank you, Brett. You're very smart. Thank you. I love you guys. We're very proud of you. Aw. Well, here's to many more. Many more. Many more. And you guys are not moving out or going back to New York anytime soon.

You want to go to New York? You are. I'm assuming you do. I'm not going. Yeah. Should I take us out? We didn't say what we've learned. Do we have anything to say? I'm the worst listener ever. That's something that hasn't changed. Yeah. That'll never change. That'll never change. Well, I think we said we learned like the friend thing. Yeah.

Right? Yeah, I'm trying to think if there's anything else that's less deep. There's just a certain point in your life. We've learned that Jake will never be necessarily tidy, but that's okay. Yeah, there's wigs on piles of things everywhere. You're dramatic. Yeah, I'll never be less dramatic. Brett is, um, Brett. And she has certain things, and you just can't question them, okay? For example, you can't yuck her yum.

Among other things. Yeah. There's a few. We all have our quirks. We all have our quirks. I'm having quirks. What can I say? None of us would be here without you. So really and truly, thank you. We love you so much. Love you, pussies. And we will see you next season. And I will see you on tour. Come see me on tour. That's where I'll be. Stop. Hey, stop. Stop. Hey, stop. That was crazy. Hey. Hey, so stop.

They'll be with me Does anyone want to take us out or should I? You can Congratulations Jake Thank you guys Love you guys I want to be here without you And Nolan Thank you Round of applause for Nolan We love you Nolan To many more seasons We should have brought champagne Do we have? I don't have any I'm just like I can't I'm just like I can't Okay should I take us out? Yeah Okay I love you pussies

Oh, looks like our session's up. We will see you next season in the therapist's office. Love you, pussies. Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. Pussies. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookies.