Session 41: Snooki
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Hi pussies, welcome back to Therapus. Today is such a, or I guess tonight, is such a full circle episode. I have loved Snooki.

Since I was eight years old, I can't even begin to describe what this woman means to me. I just, I love her. I will never forget the first time I saw her on TV. I remember exactly where I was. It's one of the greatest personalities and reality stars of all time.

She is fucking incredible. She's hysterical. She's so authentically herself. I am so lucky and grateful to have met her. I seriously cannot say enough good things about this woman. I love her more than anything. I can't believe I was able to have Snooki on my podcast. And it is so fitting that we are doing it right before Labor Day weekend. We did it at her house in Seaside Heights, which if you don't know...

That's where they shot Jersey Shore, at least most of the seasons. And it was a dream come true, okay? As far as life updates before we get into Snooki, I'm back on the wagon with weed. I can't. I couldn't stay away, you guys. I seriously fucking can't.

But like maybe I'll take a little break again because like I did it and I was like, ooh, I'm remembering why I stopped. You know what I mean? And also every time I drink now, all I can think about like my current like saying like my sob story to people around me is like it's so lonely to be gay. So like that's like what I've been telling people every time I get drunk.

Which must mean that's how I feel. I know that's how I feel. So I said I was going to talk about it in Therapist today and I don't really know what to say besides the fact that it is indeed lonely. Next week is the finale of Therapist season one. Can you fucking believe it? Because I can't. It'll be 42 episodes and then we're going on tour. I can't believe season one of Therapist is almost over.

At an end, I really can't. Like, I can't. I really seriously, I feel like I just blacked out for the past few months. Like, I really don't know what happened. Do you know what I mean, Nolan? Seriously. Like, blacked out. Like, I seriously don't know what just happened. But thank you, guys. Thank you for everything. Because without you, I would not have been able to have this episode with Snooki and this whole show and everything. And thank you. And I'm so excited for you guys to see this episode. She is such a riot.

We drank a lot of her messy mama wine. As always, submit tell me what's wrong to pass that puss.com. Submit a name and number if you're feeling fancy. Pussies, I present you Snooki. Hi, pussies. Today's the best day of my life. We are here with the one, the only, you guys will know her as Snooki. I now know her not only as Nicole, but as Nick.

Nick my best friends call me Nick and that's what I hope we're best friends Wait so first we have to cheer we have to cheers. What are we drinking? So we're drinking my new messy mama coming out You know, I love wine, but we have to chug like three big sets. Okay ready? So so cheers to your podcast and you being so famous and bitch I'm so proud of you. I have so many questions, but let's cheers first. Okay. Cheers eyes. You have to do eyes Maybe we should do the meatball chug. What's the meatball chug?

Wrap around. Okay, hold on. Oh my God, my hair is on it. Okay. Do three big, yeah. Oh my God, we sound like cows. Jesus Christ. I'm planning to get drunk by the end of this. You should. You're in Seaside. I've never been to Seaside. Well, welcome, bitch. Thank you. It's a nightmare. Really? Was this your favorite place to film or did you have more fun filming in Miami and Italy? Location-wise, I love Seaside because it's our stomping grounds, but we always love Belmar. Did you ever go to Belmar?

Okay, so Belmar back in the day, that's where like all the hot guidos went and guidettes, like DJs and everything. But we couldn't film there. The DJ closed down, right? Which Karma closed down? No, Karma's done. Demolished. What else? Where else did I go? Karma, DJs. Oh my God, what's the other one? I'm 95. What's the other one from Karma? You watch the show. I know. Karma. Tyson, help me out. What was the other club? I only know Karma and DJs. No. No.

That was one of them, though. It was right by Karma. Why can't I think of this? It's on the tip of my tongue as well. I've seen this show like 45 fucking times. I only remember Karma and DJs. All right, Google it and get back to me. So yeah, both those clubs are gone. But every time we went to the other club, every time we went, there was a fight. So it was like, I hate this place. I don't like it. So Karma was our summit grounds. I love this place. And now we're in my own Snooki Shore house. We are in what? Beachcomber? No. Oh, yeah.

I hated bamboo. We always got beat up there. Like, girls would be like, oh, is that your fat friend? And then Jenny would just pounce on them. Oh, me and Julia like to say we are you and Jenny because there's this one scene in season two. It's her favorite scene of all time. You guys obviously wrote the note to Sammy. And you're at the ice cream shop. And you guys are like, wait, like.

What the fuck do we do? Like, everyone's finding out about the note. And, like, you start calling the house being like, hey, what's up? What's up? And then you're like, me and Jenny can't go back to the house because it's the drama that we caused. It was terrible. The reason why we wrote the note was because, like, we wanted to tell Sam because she's our girl. Yeah. Like, Ron is, like, doing things behind your back. You don't know. But, like, also Ron was, like, my brother. So I didn't want to fight with him. Right. And we weren't allowed, like, pens, paper, especially a fucking computer. Right.

You weren't? No. Like, because on reality show back in the day, you had to speak to each other. We weren't allowed phones, like not even a pen and paper. Right. So I was like, Jenny, if we type the note, they're going to think a producer did it because we have no access to.

But then, like, we're going on camera to the place. I wasn't even thinking. So I knew eventually she would find out. So, yeah, the note was insane. You were good friends. I was trying to. We stand with you. But now, looking at it, like, back in the day, like, if it was me now, I'd be like, Sam, Ron is fucking up. Yeah, yeah. But you were what, 20-something? I was 21. Oh, my God. Wait, how old are you? 24. Okay. When I was 21. When I was 24, I just got pregnant. Really?

Really? I realized I was pregnant. Oh my God. With your first kid? Yeah. Okay. I didn't have another kid before that. No, I know, I know, I know, I know, but I'm just...

Yeah, I was like, holy shit, because I was literally, so that was like the era of Jersey Shore, and we were like doing all these club appearances and everything. So I was like back and forth, like Vegas, partying nonstop. And then I was like, wait, I missed my period, and Gianni was with me. So we get to L.A. after Vegas of partying for a week straight, drinking nonstop. And I get to L.A., and I'm like, Gianni, I'm two weeks late at my period. And that's when I took the test, and I realized. And I'm like, my baby's going to be like deformed. Yes.

We were literally drinking nonstop for like five days. But Lorenzo's thriving. He's amazing. He's 12 now. Oh, yeah. I know. See, that's what I'm saying. Like back in the medieval times, people were drinking. That's what I'm saying. You know, it's fine. Like they were smoking. Drinking. Like doing weed. Yeah, like. So, yeah. It's fine. You did a week of partying in Vegas. Like, and Lorenzo's okay. Yeah. It's crazy. Okay. And now I'm 36. I'll be 37. You're 37. Oh.

No, you're not. I'll be 37. You don't? I literally thought you were in your late 20s, early 30s. I'm not even kidding. Bitch, I'm old. You're not. 30s have the new 20s. That's why I'm so excited to be on your show because I get to talk to the kids. Well, do you have anything to say to the kids? Be messy and enjoy yourself. I feel like it's just like a different time now with...

I don't want to say people being soft, but people being soft and being sensitive. And I grew up in a time where, bitch, you're getting whipped by the belt. Yeah, like you're saying crazy shit like we did on Jersey Shore. The things that we said back in the day, you could never say now. Right. What would they always say? We called women grenades. Yes! It's terrible.

Like, that is horrible. So, like, thinking about it now, I'm like, oh, my God, we were such assholes. But, like, that's how it was back in the day. It's how it was. And, like, the show is like a time capsule. I know. It really, really is. And that show, I feel like, I don't know if people watching understand how big it was.

Well, you were what, eight? But I understood. Okay, I understood. You were eight years old. So much so that I had my dad take me to meet you in White Plains. I mean, that picture you sent me, I was screaming. Well, speaking of that picture, I do have something to give you. I cannot deal. What is it? Is this inside out? Okay, so it's inside out. You're a mess. I'm a mess. Well, I'm drinking messy mama wine.

I can't. This is for us. I can't. This is for us. And this day, I just want you to know, was the best day of my life. I was behind the messiest teenagers in line. Wait, this was Barnes and Noble's in Poughkeepsie. No, that was White Plains. Oh, White Plains. Okay. And I gave you a 10 things I love about Snooki book. I'm going to wear it. And it was my birthday. That was my birthday present from my dad.

I can't. And I would watch, I would watch every, I forget what days of the week it was on, but I would watch every single week. My dad, my dad let me, he let me. And it was good. That show was, it was the biggest thing to hit MTV and like forever. Yeah, it really was. It was a cultural ever since the Hills.

The Hills was, like, huge for me growing up. Right, but The Hills was fake. Or not growing up for me. The Hills was way more fake than Jersey Shore. But, yeah. Well, yeah, they said that it was scripted. Yeah, do you remember the season finale when they played Unwritten and then the green? Yes, and I was like, I wasted my entire life on this fucking drama and it's all fake. Yeah, but we weren't fake. We were real hot messes. Was the first... I mean, like, as far as reality TV goes, was the first season, like, the most real? Well, yeah, because the first season...

So we get to the first thing. So I always wanted to be a reality star. Like I was obsessed watching real world growing up. Um, and I, I tried out for real world. Didn't hear a thing back. And I'm like, Oh, I guess that's not it for me. And then I did the stupid reality show called, is she really going out with him? With, I've heard of that. Yeah. Me and my ex went on and that was just like a little taste of reality for me. And I was like,

Like oh I love it But it was only one episode That was it And then I get an email No not an email It was Facebook I got a Facebook Thing saying No Myspace It was Myspace bitch Do you know Myspace? Yes yeah I know Myspace Okay so I get a Myspace message And they're like Do you want to try out For this show? You like have the look

We're looking for guidos and guidettes in the tri-state area. So I was like, oh my God, like this might be my show. So I went to the audition and it was like in a dungeon in this dive bar. And I show up with like my leopard fur coat. I had my big poo in. I was chugging Southern Comfort in the car. So when I got down, I was like ready to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my snooki mood. And yeah, that's how I got on the show. And it...

It literally like oh my god. It was crazy So the first season we all get there and we're thinking okay We're gonna film like Monday to Friday, and then we go back to our lives cuz like Ron was like old he had like a job agent Yeah around there the oldest was Mike and Pauly who were like in their 30s they were like 30 Just Pauly now

In his 40s. Are you serious? But he looks the youngest. I used to have the biggest crush on him. Well, I mean, he still looks great. He looks amazing. Mike still looks great. Everybody looks amazing. But yeah, they were the oldest and I was the youngest and I was going to school to be a vet tech. Right, I remember. Because I love animals. Yeah. So I was like, wait, how am I going to like finish my classes? Like what am I going to do? So I would go like offset and I would like, you know, try and get like my schoolwork done. But we had no idea what it was going to be because they said it was going to be a rotating cast.

So like meet us in Seaside, it would just be us. And then the next season it would be a different group. But I think because of your dribbling. I know. But I think because of how crazy everything went, especially with me getting punched in the face, they were like, we have to keep this cast. So then we went to Miami and then it was history from there. It was crazy.

Fucking historical crazy like I just feel like some people don't even realize like so many like terms and like iconic moments like come from oh my god. Yeah, like what's your favorite like most iconic moment from the show? I usually chew my eyes, but I'm not chewing what you can chew your eyes. I love chewing eyes I can't like from all the seasons like I'll tell you mine. Oh

- I mean, where's the beach is fucking, you don't even know about that. - Of course I know about where's the beach. - No, behind the scenes of it. - Oh, tell me now, tell me now. - I feel like I said this before, but okay, so where's the beach? So I woke up that day and I was like drinking nonstop. So you know when like you wake up and you feel like the shakes are coming?

Yeah. You're like, I'm going to shit. I'm going to throw up. Yeah. I have to be on camera and I have to go to the shift. Like, so I, I woke up, still my party dress blanket on walking to my shift. And like Danny, he made it seem like such like a lawyer job. Right. But like he knew it was a TV show and he was like amping up like that.

bad boss. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you're late. You're going to get fired. Yeah. No, I'm not. Shut up. And that's what I'm like. I'll lick the carpet if I could chug a beer because I felt the shakes. I felt me like having a hangover and throwing up. And I was like, I can't. That's the worst feeling in the world because I drank so much the night before. Like 10 Long Island's Long Island. I broke my wrist on a Long Island. I see. They're dangerous. They're dangerous. And I think I had a four loco back in the day for loco was like crack.

So I had four locos. I was having Long Island. So waking up after that, you're dying. Yeah. You're dying. Like you need to go to rehab. So I ended up chugging the beer and then I was like, I can't like the cameras are in my face and I felt that hangover anxiety coming on and I was like, I can't do this. So that's when I ran. I just ran. I ran to the bar and I like took shots just to like start feeling better. And then I just didn't stop. I like fell.

like felt good and I was like alright like I'm not gonna go back to work and I was like meeting all these random people I think I made out with like an old man you did I think yeah oh god yeah

No, we didn't make out. We were doing like a shot. He had a lime in his mouth. Yeah. He was older than my father at the time. It was just. It was a nightmare. But I had a great time. But yeah, so that happened. And all I wanted to do. So I knew the beach was right there. But my drunk self was saying, how do I get on the beach? I understand that. Because, you know, you'll see when you go to the boardwalk. Yeah. There's only like a certain amount of entries to get on the beach. And I couldn't find them anywhere. So I was like, where?

- Where's the beach? How do I get on the beach? And the guy's like right there. I'm like, I know moron, how do I get on the beach? But like my drunk self couldn't like say how I really felt. - Did you black out or like was it? - Yeah, I blacked out. - Did you like, you know when you black out and you black back in, where did you black back in? - I blacked, so I started to black out when the cops were handcuffing me.

So little secret, though. Those cops weren't on shift for the town. They were on shift for the production to make sure that they're protecting us from, like, crazy people. So they weren't even – I don't even think it's legal for them to arrest me because they weren't working for the town. But I watched the video back, and one of the producers said, just arrest her. And they arrested me.

Yeah, because I had to go to court and everything. So they had to like look over the tapes and everything. So, I mean, I'm not mad at it now because it's like such an iconic scene. It was amazing. But I'm like, bitch, why'd you tell them to arrest me? Like I've never been arrested before. They did it for good TV, huh? Well, I think they just didn't want to. They knew I was going to cause a crazy scene. So they just wanted it to stop.

So they arrested me. Did you have, like, really bad scaries after that? No. I felt like a boss. Yeah. I was like, I just got arrested for being drunk on the beach. I knew my parents were going to kill me because I think I was, like, 22, 23. I was still young. But I never got arrested before. I never got, like, in trouble with the law. Yeah. Like, I was a good person. Yeah. I'm a good person. Yeah. So I remember, like, coming to in the cell. And I'm, like, laying down on this, like, cement floor. And I'm like, hello. Yeah.

And they were like, you got arrested for being wasted on the beach. And I'm like, oh my God. And then they were like being nice to me. So they took me out of the cell and I sat on the spinny chair. I remember I was spinning on the chair.

And that's when I took my mug shot. Iconic. And then I took the mug shot and I was like, can I do that again? I look terrible. Uh-huh. And then I did it again. So that's why I have two mug shots. Got it. But they were both terrible. No, they're iconic. No, they're awful. I want it to look somewhat cute. Like Paris Houghton's is so cute. No, but yours is in there with like Paris, Lindsay, Nicole, you. Yeah, but they look decent. You look great. No, my eyes were going two different ways. My lash was off. Where?

Wait, is it on? Is it here? Where is it? It just wasn't cute. No, it's not here. I should actually put it up. You have to. Yeah, I'm going to put it up in my room.

No, but yeah, that was a crazy day and they were feeding me donuts. And then, so my roommates picked me up. I thought it was the next day. So I'm like, can we go to Denny's? I was like, I really need pancakes. And they were like, Nicole, it's only three hours later. So then we get home, everyone's getting ready for karma. And I'm like, I can't do it. I was like, I think I performed enough for today. I was like, I'm going to bed. So they let me sleep for like the next two days straight. There was like a chance you might go out that night still? I don't know.

I wanted to, but everyone was like, you need to rest. Your phone call with your dad killed me. I was so scared. He goes, what, Nicole? I always call my dad drunk. Yeah. Like, dad. But when was he like, okay, I'm down for this?

Or was he always just, like, your number one supporter? Yeah, I feel like he was always my number one supporter. But before I went on the show, I feel like he knew I was crazy. So that's why when I first walked in, I was like, party's here. And I met everyone. And I told her on, I was like, my parents are going to kill me because they're going to see actually how I really am when I drink. Because my parents don't know. They don't know. Like, I would, like, go out and, like, you know, go crazy and, like, come back home and, like, just be hungover. So they never actually saw me, like, wasted. Yeah.

And I'm like, they are going to hate me because I'm a monster. I mean, but I don't think anyone was expecting what happened with the show to happen. No, I agree. Yeah, I didn't sign up for that. Because that was like, I really need you guys to understand just how culturally significant this show was. Like, it was inescapable. Well, tell all your friends.

your friends to watch it because I know you guys are younger. You, if you, you gotta binge Jersey Shore. You have to binge Jersey Shore. Like, everyone's talking about Love Island. I'm like, you have no idea. No, Love Island, I'm so sorry. Everyone on Love Island has nothing on Jersey Shore. It's just different. It's just different. Okay, because back in the day, they used to feed, like, you could black out.

Today on reality TV that you can have like two drinks and that's it. Oh, they cap you. Yeah, they cap you. Not, not, no, not, not in Jersey Shore Day. Like they. Well, they still don't cap us by the way. They don't? So if me and Dina, so everyone, you know, we're older now. Yeah. So if we do like a two day trip, me and Dina know we're going to have a good time. Everybody goes to sleep at like 11. Me and Dina are like, we're going out and we have our dirty stay out meatball nights. And no, we don't get capped. Okay. And when Dina came on the show, was that like.

Like, were you like, like love it? Were you so happy about it? So when I first walked into the house, my friend Ray was supposed to be there and Dina. So I knew two people and then I walk in and everyone walks in and it's done. And I'm like, where the fuck is Dina? I go, where the fuck is Ray? Ray didn't want to do it because he thought it would look bad on his job. Moron, wherever you are. Um, and then Dina, Dina, um, I think something happened with her grandparents and she didn't want to leave her family. Um,

So Angelina was there. But I don't know who was supposed to be Dina. They never really tell us. But wasn't Angelina? No, I think Angelina was always supposed to be there. Got it. So I'm like, who was Dina? Right. Because I was like the last picked. You were the last picked for the show? Yeah, I was one of the last picked. Mike was on the show for like two years before it even started. Are you serious? Yeah. Jenny used to make out with Carmine Gotti and then she was on the show for like two years. Who's Carmine Gotti? Oh!

Oh my God. Who is it? Okay, you need to go in the archives and watch The Gotti Show. Okay. Because you would love The Gotti Show if you love Jersey Shore. Okay. But I don't think I'll love anything as much as I love Jersey Shore. Yeah, The Gotti Show is more like Sopranos, but like family, you would like it.

But yeah, I don't know who Dina was supposed to be. It could have been me. I don't know. Right. So yeah, when Dina came, I was like, thank fucking God. Right. Because like no one partied like me. It was like annoying. No one did party. I would wake up and be like, you guys, let's go to the boardwalk and get shots. Like it's 10 a.m. Let's start. Let's go to Spicy's. And the boys were like, we're going to do GTL. I'm like, I'm not going to the fucking gym. It's like it's the summertime. We're at the beach. Like I want to go get fucked up. But Jenny would go out with you.

I would force her. Yeah. Did you guys hit it off instantly? No, she hated me. Oh, I forgot about that. Do you remember the dirty look she gave me? I thought that was only for like one day and then she was like, okay, I love Nicole. After I got punched in the face. Yeah. And everyone started to like me. Yeah. That was fucking crazy. Like, sorry you guys can't handle me. No, but bitch. So annoying. I think you need more. I think I need more too. I'm so, I'm really nervous. No, I think you're great. I'm doing great? Yeah. Okay, can I ask you what you're therapist about today?

Well, I hate the summer in general, so I hate sweating. My room is always on 64 degrees. I'm at 62. I have a fan on me when I sleep. I just hate sweating. It's like the worst thing in the world. Even when I'm like fully skinny, I'm always sweating. So I hate sweating. But like in general, what am I pissed off about? I don't know. I have to think about it. What are you pissed about? What am I pissed about? Yeah.

I know this is- How you were late today? Yeah, I'm pissed about that. Yeah, girl, you have no idea. I was screaming. I was screaming. I was like, I'm gonna be late for Snooki. This is the one person I can't be late for. It was a big deal, so. Terrible.

I was, I was, I went a little off the rails. Yeah, he gets zero stars. Yeah. By the way. He does. Yeah. He does. And I get in the car and I'm like, and he's sitting there and I'm like, well, step on it. Someone's waiting for me. And that someone is Snooki. We're kind of in a rush. Yeah. So let's go, bitch. And he was like, oh, okay. Yeah. But what am I pissed about? My coffee this morning sucked. Okay. What, what's you, okay, what's this? Have you had Rook's coffee? So I don't drink coffee.

Ever since high school So okay We're like going into tangents here I So I was a cheerleader in high school Like captain of the squad Like I was a flyer And

I loved coffee in high school. But right before a competition, I had like three iced coffees because I was nervous and I wanted to like wake up. I was tired. So I chugged the three iced coffees and I couldn't get up in the air. Three? And I couldn't stay up in the air because I was like this. And then on the show, I funneled a Red Bull before I left. So I'm driving home like this.

Ever since then, I think I fucked my body up with caffeine. So I cannot have any coffee because I feel like a crackhead and I hate that feeling. Yeah. So now I just drink green tea lattes. Okay. But yeah, I'm a bitch now. Matcha. Yeah. Matcha. Matcha. I love matcha. Okay. But then how did. Okay. Well, I'll ask that off camera. What? Do I shit? No, no, no. I was like, yeah, it still makes me poop.

No, I've never done a drug. Really? I've never done a drug. You've never? Swear on my mother, on everyone. Thank God. You see how I drink? Yeah. If I was a drug addict, I would be dead. Yeah. I've never done, I mean, I smoked weed in high school. Okay. But I've never touched like. Just alcohol. Cocaine, ecstasy, like none of that. That's why you don't age.

Maybe. That's why you don't age. I'm also Spanish, so that's probably why. I did know that. Yeah. I know everything about you. I was adopted. I did know that as well. No, but yeah, I'm not... Like, I always thought if I did try a drug, it would be like my worst time and I would die. Right. Like, it would go to my brain and just kill me. Right. So I was always terrified of drugs. Thank God. Wait, when's your birthday? Bitch! Sorry, I just...

I thought you knew everything about me. What's your birthday? I'm a Sagittarius. Okay, well, that checks out. November 23rd. Okay. So every other year it like falls on Thanksgiving, which I hate because I have to share it with the fucking turkey. But I want it to be like my day. She has to share a birthday with Christmas and so she doesn't get enough. Which one?

She doesn't get presents. That's terrible. Yeah, that sucks. Hate it. That's a sin. So you're a Sagittarius, so you're a party. Yeah. Well, obviously. Party loud. Don't give a shit. If you piss me off, I cut you off in two seconds. Like...

I know. Yeah. I know that. Yeah. And I don't like negativity. So if I'm around someone that's so drama, I just have to get away because I can't deal with it. Right. You're ruining my aura. I like positive vibes always. What's your husband? What's his sign? He's, I don't know. He's March. Oh, my God. Nicole. I know his. March 20th. Pisces? Yeah.

Damn, he's feisty. You guys are both feisty. Yeah, I mean, we get into it. But then we end well. What are your kids? What are their birthdays? So Lorenzo is August 26th. Leo? September 26th. No, he's at Virgo.

He's a pain in my ass. Yeah. So do you believe in like living before like previous life? Yes, I do. In my previous life, I swear to God, Lorenzo was my husband because we just clashed so much. I love him so much. But that's what they say. Like if you go to like a medium and you go under hypnosis, they'll tell you everyone in your family was always in your life. You were just like different. It was different. Like you could have been married to like your mother. What? It's just like always rotating. Oh, that's fascinating. So I feel that with Lorenzo. Uh-huh.

And then Giovanna is September 26th. So it's always 26. So when I had Angelo, I was like trying so hard to have him on the 26th, but I had him on May 30th. So he's a Taurus. No, he's a Cancer. Oh, he'll never leave you. No, Angelo's my baby. Yeah, he'll never leave you. He looks just like Gianni, but he's my personality. Uh-huh. For sure. He'll never leave you because Cancers are always such homebodies. Thank God. Yeah.

Okay, wait. He's my baby. What was I about to ask you? Fuck, I'm like drunk off this wine. I told you. So my wine, you guys, well, you get drunk really quick and there's like... I'm drunk. Can we do one more meatball chug? Yeah. Then we have the rosé if you want to switch. No, I... Well, this wine is coming out. So I was like, Nicole, let's promote it. Oh, yeah. It didn't even drop yet. Why do we sound like that? I don't know. Well, can I ask you questions? Please. Okay, so...

What were you doing before your TikTok blew up? I was an assistant. For what? A record label. And the man I was an assistant to is now my manager. Crazy. How old were you? 23. Okay. So he was always like, I will manage you if, wait, I was 22. Yeah, because you're 24 now. What did you go to school for? When did I turn 23? October of 2020.

I was 23 when it all blew up. Did you go to college? Yes. What'd you go to college for? Public relations. Got it. So I was like PR vibes. Love it. Yeah. Oh, I can see you as a publicist. Right? Like bitchy. Like bitchy and feisty. Like, come on. She's done. Done. Stop talking. Yeah. When did you get a publicist finally? Like after, like, was it right after season one they just handed you one or was it like? No. So we had like our internal publicist who's my best friend to this day. Like I would die for him. We call him Opal. Yeah.

But yeah, he's my best friend. So we had MTV probably up until season three. And that's when like we, so we always had teams. Right. But I didn't really get a publicist until season three. Got it. Got it. So you got to like pay him and shit. I have heard you. Yeah.

So I was like, wait, I got to pay you how much a month? Yeah. And they're like, oh. Well, because I feel like you guys, season two was filmed so shortly after season one, right? It was like season one and then they went right into season two, I feel like. I feel like, yeah. I have a terrible memory. And you didn't know, and you guys didn't know until like what? It was like season three, just how big it was because you didn't have your phones. You know. And so when did you realize like, oh shit, this has become something I had no idea it was? Well, I think after season one aired, yeah.

And it took like a while. It was like six months. So we were like, oh my God, like we had such a good time. Right. Sure. There was like no promo for it for like six months. I remember. Yeah. Did we do this shit for nothing? I was like, we had such a good time. I got punched in the face.

the face everyone's sleeping together it was like so much drama and we were just like is this not gonna air and then it finally aired and then we're calling it Guido Beach so we were thinking it's gonna be Guido Beach and then when they aired it was like Jersey Shore and we're like oh shit Jersey Shore okay so yeah that aired and then

I think after a couple episodes, MTV called us and they were like, we want to fly you out to LA. You're doing Kimmel, Leno, like you're doing all these shows. And we're like, are you fucking serious? Like we made it. Like,

Like, we're good. So, yeah, after that, we met Ashton Kutcher. We went to his house. He's my number one celebrity crush. So, this is when Twitter just started, and he was, like, all about Twitter. So, we went to his warehouse, and he made all of our accounts for Twitter. And we were, like, hanging out with Ashton. He's like, this is what's going to happen. Like, kind of prepping us on, like, the Hollywood world. Was he hot in person? Yeah. Yeah, he's very tall. Oh. Yeah. So, my favorite movie with Ashton is...

Just Married. Okay, I've never seen that one. Oh, you have to watch it. It's my best movie. Really? Yes, Just Married. It's amazing. So yeah, I would say a couple episodes after the first season. And then you were like, oh, this has become a thing. Yeah, we were like on all the freaking shows. We would go out, paparazzi chasing us. We were like, what is happening? Was it fun though? No, it was definitely fun. Okay. It was crazy. But you weren't used, and every season of Jersey Shore, like the old Jersey Shore, like you wouldn't have your phone. No. No.

We didn't have our phone up until, wait, Jersey Shore Family Vacation. When that happened in Miami, they wouldn't let us have our phone. But like I had two kids and they were like confiscating everything. So we started hiding our phones and bringing like burners in season three. Got it.

Oh. Yeah. Interesting. So I would hide it. I could tell in Italy that there was like a – I could tell in Italy that like you guys kind of like got the lay of the land a bit. Yeah, we were like talking shit to each other like in the bathroom. Right. I hid it in my pads. Uh-huh.

Put my phone in the pad and then put it back in the box. Right. Because they go through all your shit. Shut up. So they never, they wouldn't go in my pad. So I had my phone in the pad. Holy fuck. Did you have fun? Was Italy fun for you to like, was that fun or no? I hated it. Yeah. I could tell, like I was rewatching it the other day and I was like. I hated Italy. I feel like. I would love to go back and like enjoy it like with my husband. Yeah. But Italy, oh my God.

I feel like me and Gianni were just getting serious. And the show was still going on. Yeah, I'm like a homebody. So when I'm far away from my family and stuff like that, I get very homesick. Right. And I get depressed. And I'm sleeping all the time, drinking to mask it. Right. So that was Italy for me. Yeah.

Tell me if I'm wrong. The food in Italy is not very good. No, it's amazing. Oh, really? No. Bitch, you can have pasta every single day and not gain a pound. I know, but maybe I went to the wrong places. I feel like I was having the wrong pastas. Where did you go? Where did I go? Tuscany? I think it was Tuscany. That should be the best food. It was bad. No, you have to actually go to like the restaurants in Sightsee. Okay, okay. It's such good food. Are you ready to get into the tell me what's wrongs? Yeah. Oh, they're here.

I don't think I've ever been so nervous. You interviewed so many famous people. Snooki, like, I don't... Nicole, like, I don't know... Wait, I didn't finish my questions. Oh, please. Yeah, go for your questions. See, we're best friends. We are. That's what me and Joey do. That's why our podcast is terrible. So I asked you what you were doing before...

Okay, so you started doing videos about people like saying reenact this. Right, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So then that's how you started to like get popular on TikTok. Yes. Yeah. And then it just, it took off over the course of like one week. And then my boss at the time was like, because he would always make the joke like, well, I'll manage you if anything ever happens. I'll manage you if anything ever happens. And I was like, well, are you kidding?

Are you serious? Like, I think it's happening. Yeah. And like, he's, you know, he's cause like, that's like such an LA thing to say, but he's from Jersey. Like he's an East coaster. So like they, he's like, Oh no, I meant it. So then you did all of your videos and then it just like skyrocketed. It just, well, I, I became like really addicted to it. I was like, I, this is, this is my career. Like I am doing this. And then right before I launched this therapist, my podcast, I was like really lost. I was like, what?

you know, the lifespan of an influencer is only so long. If you're like, like, I'm not like a hot girl. Like I'm a gay guy. I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? And then I started this and it's really helped it take off. And he's just the best. He's the best. You killed it. You're literally, so I,

I feel like if I didn't get into reality, I would definitely try and be an influencer. You would be the button. Like, I'm just, I don't like working. I don't like working under someone. Yeah. That's like with my stores. Like, usually, you know, if you want to do a store and you're on reality TV, you partner up with

someone right and then they're basically doing all the legwork but you're getting a percentage and you're just saying oh hey it's my store right I didn't want anyone to tell me what to do yeah and I hate that so that's when I was like I'm gonna do my stores myself like putting all my money into it so even like back in the day like I hated working under someone right like I didn't want someone

I'm gonna tell you what to do. Well, I could tell. I could tell. I don't like that. You hated what Danny told you what to do. I like being the boss. I'm very independent. Yeah. I feel like as a Sag, we're very independent. You are. We wanted our own thing. Yes. Don't tell me what to do because I'm not gonna listen to you. It's my world. So, yeah. I feel like you're doing it. You're killing it. I'm not even kidding when I tell you like,

I seriously like you are my like actual everything. Like, I love you. No, I really, I mean it. Like, well, I remember I commented on your video cause you came up in my, for you page and you were like doing like all these things and you were like, tell me what to act out. And what did I say? Did I say the note? You said something and I think I did it, but I like, you were just, you were like the first person ever that I was like, so like, I love her.

Like, and I was eight years old. And it never wavered and it never changed. And, like, I'm just so honored to be here and, like, so excited to be here. I, like, can't believe I'm here. If I wasn't on antidepressants right now, I'd be crying. But, like, I can't cry. But, like, I really just love you so much. You were so, you are so authentically you. And, like, you became famous for literally just being who you are to your core. A hot mess.

But not even that. It's just who you are. It's literally you're just like, this is me. But you're also doing that as well. Because I take after you. So you're my, what's it called? If you say that. I was going to say undercarry, but that's not the word. Do you know what I'm trying to say? My undercarry. You're my prodigy then. Let's say it now. But now you have to go on the boardwalk and get arrested.

I will do that for you. You'll have to do TikTok doing that. Wait, I will. In the slippers. I will. I'm never taking these off. That would definitely work. These are like your crocodiles. Yeah. No, they're your crocodiles. Do you still have your crocodile? I do, but like he has no stuffing in him anymore. No. Yeah, he's in my attic. I still have him. No, he's not in your attic. He's gross. You know, I, it's so, wait, I actually am freaking out because I have Passandra, who's my stuffed animal. Cute.

- So cute. - Yeah, her name's Passandra. - Yeah, and that's like your everything. - Yeah, I'll never forget when they pranked you with your Crocodile and they hung it over the, that was evil. - I felt like it was like an actual pet being killed. - It was. - I was so pissed off. 'Cause that was like my thing. - They were that-- - Growing up, I always had a blankie. I always had something to sleep with to make me cozy 'cause I was always afraid of the dark 'cause I feel like ghosts and stuff. - Yes, Julia.

Yeah, like I can literally read people. If I meditate, I'm a medium. Like it happens. I have the third eye. So I always needed something to sleep with. So like I didn't bring my blankie because I didn't want to be like, oh, 21, bring my blankie. Yeah, so you brought Crocodile. So I got Crocodile, yeah. It looked really soft. Wait, why did the stuffing come out? He's just old and gross. But he'll never die. He's been through it, bitch. He has. He's been through a lot. That is evil. When they did that, that was fucking evil. Yeah, it was Vinny.

You should have him on your show. I mean. Everybody on your show now. Yeah, but like I need you there. Oh, Vinny? No, I need you there for every single one. Oh, yeah. I'll be there. Because like I like am I freaking out? Like I need to stop fangirling. Sorry. I'm just like. You're the best. I'm proud of you. This is great. Really? And you're a rich bitch now. So when you go places, do you like get recognized everywhere? Yeah. Do you love it? So much. Do you wear a disguise or no? Never. Did you ever? Never.

I started to. Well, you were famous on another level. What disguises would you wear? Just a hat. And would people still notice you? I mean... Yeah. It's hard to not. Like, even if I tried to, like, really disguise myself, like, my height gives it away. Your height does give it away. My height and, like, my body and my hair. Yeah. Do people, like, bombard you on the boardwalk here still? Oh, my God, yeah. And do you like it? Is it, like, do you ever, like, are you ever, like, okay, like...

I mean, if I'm in the mood, but like when you get older, you just want to like be by yourself and you get cranky. Yeah. So I'm like at that, I'm at that point right now where I just want to be home in my cozies, not doing anything. Right. But like if I'm drinking and like we're going to the boardwalk. Yeah. I'm making a scene. Did you do your kids? Do your kids think it's cool? No. They think I'm so embarrassing. Are you fucking kidding me right now? Tell them. They think I'm so embarrassing. They hate me. Dude. Like mom, you're so embarrassing. I saw that clip of you. So I tell my kids I was an actress. Yeah.

Because they're still so young that I don't want them to think I'm like an asshole, like a criminal. And they always talk about me getting arrested. But you're not a criminal. But they always talk about me getting arrested on the beach. What do they say? They're like, Mom, why'd you do that? Were you drunk? How old are they? 12, 10, and 5. My 5-year-old doesn't say anything, but my 12-year-old, he's like, Mom.

But like, it's embarrassing. Okay, sorry, Lorenzo. Like, is he not understanding? No, he doesn't care. He's embarrassed. Or is your husband like Lorenzo? Like, come on. No, Gianni's like, I get it. I get it, son. He's like, shut up, Gianni. So yeah, Snooki has a mom. We have to make eye contact. Okay. Or else it's bad luck. This is delicious. This wine is insane. Right? It's so good. Also, just, I have to say this before we continue. She is the number one Jersey Shore fan of all time. Oh, she's like, obsessed.

Really? I'm also 30, so, like, I get it in a way. I don't, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you were probably, like, in your dorm and, like, high school. It was, like, me, like, appointment television in high school, like, sitting down to watch it, like, obsessing over it. And everyone's getting wasted watching it. Yeah, like, there's no social media. Like, this is what I was reading. Yeah, that's when, like, everyone, like, bought the magazines. And I will say, Sissy Giovanna is my favorite Instagram. Oh, she's killing it. Yes, such a good cheerleader. I know.

I love her so much. Are you loving that your kids do cheer? Well, I'm not going to say I forced her to do it at three. But I forced her to do it at three. Right. So...

Yeah. Cheerleading is an Olympian sport now, right? It is. Yeah. Yeah. The USA. But like I was so obsessed with cheer and I loved it. And I could probably still do it if I like trained. I could definitely still fly and tumble. But I always just pictured my daughter to cheer and like love it. So at three years old, I threw her on the mat and I was like, I'll be back. She's been doing cheer since three years old. And does she love it? She loves it. It stresses her out a little bit because it's like,

Everyone thinks of cheer as like, you know,

Just like a cowboy cheerleader. Right. Just like dancing. Right. Whatever. Like, no, this is actually a competitive sport. Like, you need to be in shape. You're doing all these. It's crazy. Have you seen cheer? Yeah. It's crazy. It's literally that, but on crack for what she's doing. Are you serious? And she's nine years old on a level five team. It's insane. If you guys know cheer, you understand. It's wild. One of my best friends was a cheer liberty. Yeah. I feel like who? This guy named Will. He's Will Hunt. He was like, what was he on the stingrays? Yeah.

Oh, I love Stingrays. Yeah, he was on the Stingrays. Stingrays, Top Gun. What's that? It's like the best gyms for cheer. Oh, okay. So he was on a good gym. And CJA. Okay. Central Jersey All-Stars. Is that where she is? That's where she's at. Yes. Can we get into the Tell Me What's Wrongs? Let's do it. Okay, so base. I'm fucking hammered, Nicole. I mean, what did you expect? I don't know. Right? I feel like I'm making. And you don't get hung over. I'm telling you. I'm not alone.

Okay. It's so good, especially on a hot day. Let me promo this real quick. Pussies, if you are of age and you love me, you will buy this Messy Mama wine. You will. You absolutely will. Where can they buy it? Messymama.com. No. It's with another company. Just go to thesnookyshop.com and it'll be on there. Okay. Cheers. No, yeah, but I'm trying to get in liquor stores. Can you imagine, like, the beautiful display? And they could do a cardboard cutout of me, like... Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I really want me a liquor course. Do you have cardboard cutouts? Yeah. I'll send you one. And pray to me. But it's so good. You just, like, don't. I know. It was just, like, you were. I feel the same way, and I was, like, in it. I feel the same. Because when I watch it, I try not to, like, watch it as, like, me. I try and watch it as a fan. And I'm like, holy shit, this show is insane.

Yeah. It really just like. And we're still getting into it. You are. We're still fucking messy. And it's still the highest rated show on MTV. We're still messy. We're still fighting with each other. Speaking of, how is, how is filming right now? Good? Filming's good, yeah. We just wrapped and we're probably gonna start again. How's Sammy being back? Oh my God, amazing. I missed her. I know. I missed her a lot. I'm happy she's back. And she's still the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet. You'll ever meet. And she's still so beautiful and ugh, I love Sam. Was it like, how was the reunion with Ron and everything?

Fucking awkward as hell. Really? We were just all sitting here like this. And like that was their first reunion. Yes. And like it was so awkward. I wanted to die. It was like. I was chugging wine because I knew it was going to be terrible. Uh-huh. I was chugging. Was she so anxious about it? No, she just didn't. Like imagine like being in a like a toxic relationship. And then you have to see your ex who you were in that toxic relationship with like 10 years later.

Is he like horrible? I would never want to sit in a room with my ex. And they said, and what is it fine now? Or what is it still just like so fucking awkward? I think they're fine now. They're like, you know, this is our job and it is what it is. Sam's getting married to a great guy, Justin. Congrats. Yeah. And then Ron's doing great. He's doing, you know, he's an amazing dad. Yeah. He's doing way better for himself. So yeah, it's just like everyone's moving on. Everyone's moving on. Yeah. I'll just always remember. Are you friends with her? Yes or no.

That was very stressful time. Yeah, but you were. You should go to the house. It's $10. No, I'll tell Danny you're coming. You don't have to pay $10. You'll tell Danny? Yeah. I'll tell Danny you're coming. Wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're not coming back to Margate. Like, I'm going to that. Just stay here. Don't play with me. Stay here for the night. You could totally stay here for the night. Wait, can we go to the Jersey Shore house? Like, I want to go to that. Yeah, after this, I'll tell Danny you're coming.

Okay, are you ready for this? Oh my God, like Nicole, I'm just so grateful that you're here. Thank you. Love you. I love you. Okay, ready for this? I think you're gonna have good advice. We'll see. I used to prescribe Jersey Shore when, okay, I'm so drunk. My boyfriend and I have been long distance for six and a half years. At what point do I tell him to take a hike and dump him if he's not willing to move to my city?

Six years long distance. Yeah, that's crazy. Oh, bitch. No. No. It's crazy, right? And I feel like, I don't want to say. Say it. He's like moving around. You think? I mean, six years? Like, how long is a long distance? How long do they not see each other? Sounds like a while. No. You're wasting your time, bitch. She is, right? Six years. No. Move on. Move on. Move on. I prescribe Miss Moving On by Fifth Harmony.

Yes. Same. Okay. Same. Move, bitch. Ludicrous move, bitch. Get out the way. Yes. Fucking move. And you know what else I prescribe? When Jenny was in that relationship with, what's his name? Was it Roger? It wasn't Roger. It was Tom. Tom. And he like destroyed her house. Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one. You guys are like so, like you, like your friendship is so...

It's so rare on reality television to see a friendship as genuine as yours. And like, it's so, it's so like me and Julia are like, that's us. Yeah. Like it really is. And you fucking pussies, if you haven't seen this, you watch fucking Jersey Shore. Like, I don't know how hard to, that's what I prescribe. Thank you. What would you say to a guy that you've been talking to for two weeks who just bought you Chanel perfume? Like too much, too quick.

I don't think that's too much. Is he rich? Clearly he's rich. You know what it's giving? Remember when Angelina was seeing that guy? She got a fossil watch. Yes, she got the watch. Yes.

Yeah, I would say, well, if you slept together, he clearly loves the puss. Yeah. Yeah. So I would say keep going. Right. I don't think it's creepy at all. Yeah, that's Chanel perfume. It's not like he bought you a Chanel bag. He bought you Chanel perfume. It's not that serious. Yeah. Take it all in, bitch. Right. Enjoy it. I remember that fossil watch and they were like, Angelina, who was it? It was Mike. It was fucking Mike. And he told, was it? It was. It was Mike, right? And he told Angelina's guy, whoever she was seeing, that she was sneaking around on him.

Probably, yeah. Yeah. That's like a Mike thing to do. He was so sneaky like that. She didn't even keep the Fossil watch, I don't think. Are you serious? A Fossil watch? Is Fossil nice? I mean, even back in the day, it was like cool, like $25 watch. Right. I think it was like Michael Kors. It would have been like, oh my God, Michael Kors watch. Right. But it was Fossil. Because that's like the Gucci now. Yeah. That's my husband. Is it really? Yeah. Is he coming in? I'm going to be starstruck.

- Gianni? - Yes! - Hello? - If he makes an appearance, I will. - Oh, he will not. He's camera shy. - Is he really? - You haven't noticed. He's not in the show. - I know. - Hello? Open the door, see if... I think they're going to the boardwalk, all the kids. - Your kids are here? - Oh shit. All the minions are here. Where are they going? Oh my, what is happening? - Hey! - Hi, Belly! We're here! - Should we meet Ball Chog one more time?

I love Gianni. He's so cute. Your kids are like a perfect mix of you and him. I know. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Yes, I was about to say. Gian is all me and then Lorenzo is like a great mix. Right, right. I feel like I've been having a Jersey accent this entire thing. Do you? I just like... Calm down. Yeah. Okay.

I met this really attractive guy on Bumble, and he's not looking for anything serious, and I told him that too, but I lied. I catch feelings really easily. I can't come clean because we're hooking up, and the sex is good. How do you turn a friends with benefits slash casual thing into a relationship? I'll leave that to you. Say it again. So she's- I haven't dated in so long. But she's hooking up with this guy, and it was casual, and she wants to turn it into something more. How long have they been hooking up? She did not specify. Okay. Okay.

And Bumble's like what? Is that like Tinder where you go on and like bang? Or it's more of like a relationship thing? I never. Or all those apps are like just to hook up. Like for the gay world, yeah. Right. But I don't know for the straight world. I mean, just say it, bitch. You live once. Yeah. Just be like, I really like you. I want to like be in a relationship with you. How do you feel about that? Or if you're like, you're not totally ready, let's hang out. Let's see where it goes. Right.

So you, yeah. I feel like people are so nervous to say their feelings. You were never. Like we literally only live once. Like just say it. Right. I said it to Gianni. You did. Yeah. I was about to say. I was like, I really like you. Let's do this. And now you're married with children. Now we have like 10 kids and yeah. Yeah. They just ruined the interview. No, they didn't. They were so excited. They didn't. It was perfect. I was so starstruck. I was like drunk. I was like, hi. Hey kids. Okay. Do you know what aura points is?

Like your aura. Yeah, but what is aura points? When you do something good, you're like, yes, 100. Okay, so like if, I don't get it. What? So it's like you do something like that's a vibe and like. Okay, okay. Yeah, like let's say you try something, you're like, oh, whatever. Oh, oh, damn. I can't. Okay, how many aura points do I lose after I was making out with a guy and he literally came during it? Okay.

I mean, I remember in high school, like things would happen like that with like my friends and everything. Um,

I don't know. Like, he was excited. He probably thought you were really hot. It's not. I wouldn't say you lose aura points. No, you would definitely gain aura points. Yeah, like, it sounds like he's losing aura points. I mean, I guess it's embarrassing for him. But, like, at the same time, he thought you were that hot that it was done. I would feel so fucking good about myself. Yeah, I'd be like, damn, I didn't even touch it. Yeah, like, that's what I'm thinking, too. And, like, I was making out with this. Okay, I won't even get into it. But I, like, I. That happens?

No, not to that extent. Okay. But like I definitely something changed in the other region. Something grew? Yeah. He got a boner. Got it. Like I was kissing this guy and I was like, fuck, what do I do? Like so like and that was aura points for him. Yeah, but that usually happens when you kiss someone. Oh, it does. That makes me feel better. Like when I kiss Gianni, like I get excited. Yeah. I get a lady boner. What's a lady boner? It gets like.

Puffy? You know what I mean? Like you get like pulsating. You're like, it's happening. Let's go. Yeah. I feel like it's the same thing. Yeah. So I don't think you lost any aura points. Yeah, no. None? No. I don't even know what to prescribe to them. Like sex. Have sex. Yeah, just finish the job. Finish it. Yeah. Get it done. Do I pull the trigger and date my boy best friend or is this just my quarter life crisis talking?

I feel like I had that situation in high school. Uh-huh. But he felt that way about me, and I didn't about him. Got it. So, like, I kind of tried it out, but I was like, I'm not feeling this at all. But he was, like, all in. Right. So I see that sticky situation because, like, you want to see where it can go, but then, like, if it doesn't work, then you're not going to have a relationship with them ever again and you're best friends. Right. Yeah, it's – I don't know. That's, like, a personal thing. Did that happen, like, on the show at all where it was, like –

Oh, with the roommates? Yeah. Ew, no. Okay. No. I have a question about the show. Okay. Did Jenny and Mike hook up? No. Never? Never.

No, I don't think so. Okay. I mean, I feel like we all like made out at some point. Right. Like it wasn't caught on camera, but it wasn't like, no, I don't think they ever made out. Was there anything that wasn't caught on camera that you were like shocked that wasn't caught on camera? No, they got everything. There were cameras in the walls, like everywhere you go except the bathroom. There were cameras everywhere. You couldn't even move without like doing something. But the bathroom was your one safe space, right? Yeah. That's why we were all in there for like two hours. Yeah. Yeah.

And they were like, get out. We're like, no, we need like time like off camera. What was this mushroom just as disgusting as? Yes. Yes. It was vile. The sheets were never changed. That's disgusting. Yeah. But like we didn't care. Right. Yeah. In that moment, we didn't care. Right. We were just all like, especially the boys that would all like bring everybody back. I only went in this mushroom.

Well, in Miami, it was like this weirdo. But then Gianni. Yeah. I brought Gianni. I remember. Yeah. We were like cuddling in there. And like the boys brought girls in there. And it was the same sheets. Looking back at it now, it was like we were vile. But that was like your, that was like, it was college. Yeah.

Basically, yeah, it was our college years. That's what I keep telling people. It was. Because everyone always used to judge us, and I was like, this is our college years. Imagine your college years and you going crazy. If someone filmed us during our college years, it would have been horrible. You'd be nightmares. I've been with my boyfriend for six years, and I just walked in. Is this real? I've been with him. Sleeping with the mom. Dad. A little worse, honestly. Grandma. I've been with my boyfriend for six years. He's sleeping with someone. What is happening?

I've been with my boyfriend for six years and I just walked in on him having a threesome with my parents. Oh my God. I'm like sick to my stomach, honestly. I feel like you're lying, honestly. See, that's a lie. You're lying. That's like Jerry Springer shit. That's not real. That's not real. I can't believe that, but I'm going to validate you if it is real. What's the question? What do I do? Yeah. Fucking run for the...

Like that's weird. That's weird. What would you do? What would I do in that situation? I would never talk to my parents again. I would move to Canada and have a different name. I would like take their money. So I had like something to live off of. Maybe I would kill them. Then you get life insurance.

Yeah. Because we watch True Crime. We know how to do it. Do you watch True Crime? I do. Are you watching Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix right now? I always watch Unsolved Mysteries. I'm also big in UFOs. I love aliens. Can you tell me a little bit about aliens? They're here, bitch. Are they really? They've been here. We are aliens. Okay, but what do you mean by that? Because I don't believe in aliens.

How do you not believe in aliens? I haven't done a deep dive. So out of this whole universe, which goes on and on and on, we're the only planet with life. No, I know that's not true, but like... You have to do deep dive. Okay, but like what's like a revelation about like aliens that like I wouldn't know?

A revelation? I don't know, bitch, they're here. We are half aliens. I feel like there's like a future of us that turn into aliens from like nuclear bombs, but also they are from other planets trying to save us. Like we are a horrible race. We're terrible people. We just destroy each other. You got to go on the deep dive and then we'll talk. Okay, but what do I need to watch to go on that deep dive? You can start with ancient aliens. Is that what, National Geographic? Yeah.

Is it? I watch it on YouTube. I've been watching it on YouTube for years. Okay. And go on the TikTok rabbit hole. Okay. I've never, do you guys believe in aliens? Oh, Julia, please. They're here. You think the pyramids were aliens? I was abducted by aliens. Nicole. I'm telling you. When? When I was 13, bitch. Okay. Can you give me this? Stop. You're making me laugh.

I swear to God. How were you abducted by aliens when you were 13? I'm just, I'm feeling like it happened, but. Okay, but you don't remember what, like. No, because they wipe your memory, bitch. No, but Nicole, like, what do you mean? Okay, so I always believe in aliens, and like I said, like, I always felt like spirits and everything. Yeah. So when my grandfather died.

This is like the spiritual thing, but like I always felt him in the house and like I felt him talking to me. So I had to like shut that off and I still feel it to this day. Like if I meditated for you, I could probably read you in two seconds. But aliens...

One day I was in the pool at my mom's house, upstate New York, so Hudson Valley. All the aliens were there, the UFOs. It's like a thing. So I was in the pool, and I'm looking up, and I see this, like... Gianni thinks I'm fucking crazy every time I say it. He's like, that's not real. I need to say it to believe it. He's like one of those. So there was...

There was like a light like that, like a light like that in the sky, but it was like moving like erratic. And I was like looking at it and I'm like, that's not a plane because it's going like this. And then I felt like it was like saying hello to me.

I'm not kidding. I felt like it was saying, like, hello to me, and I was, like, talking to it, whatever, and then it just went away. It disappeared. Oh, whoa. I woke up the next day, but I had a dream that an alien touched the back of my neck, and I went through a portal, and then I woke up. There's a hole in the back of my neck, bitch. Look, there's a hole in the back of my neck. Gianni thinks I'm psychotic. Where? There's a perfect hole in the back of my neck. Wait, wait, wait.

I'm telling you. I've been on like five UFO podcasts talking about it. Oh, so you were abducted. You were abducted. I saw a UFO. I had a dream of a UFO. And then they touched my back. And then all of a sudden I wake up out of nowhere. I woke up in a dead sleep like this. Swear to God. Have you ever heard the song Down Bad by Taylor Swift? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Like, I want to be a Swifty, but I'm not. I'm so sorry. Nicole. No, I think her music is great, but I'm just, like, not obsessed. Like, I think she's pretty and amazing. I'm just not, like, I wouldn't die for her. But I love her. Yes. There's this one song she has called Down Bad. Okay. And she relates falling in love to an alien. So she was abducted also. Okay, maybe that.

Yeah, but you see that hole, bitch. It's a perfect hole. And that's where they touch me. I will vouch for this. It is the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's where they touch me in my dream. I have so many stories. More about aliens? I mean, that's for another day. Okay. We're going to have to do part two of this. Are you having fun? Yes. Okay, just want to make sure. We could talk all day. All day. Yeah. I just said, that was Jersey.

All day. That was Jersey. I have a huge crush on a guy who I work with, and IDK had to ask him out, what do I say, help? Well, you're just going to tell her to- Bitch. Get some balls and say, I think you're really cute. Let's go for drinks. Right. Like, why are people so scared? It's this day and age. It's this day and age. People are really scared of everything. I can't. I know. I don't relate. I'm sorry. You never- I don't relate. You never were, like, anxious about that stuff? No.

No, I guess like the first time that me and Gianni actually went on a real date, like he came up to my mom's house and we went out. OK, so I guess. Yeah. So we went out to Hibachi like after we met on the show. I called him Bernard or whatever. I ended up texting him and I was like, I think you're really cute. Like I want to hang out. So he drove up to my mom's house. He was in Jersey. I was still in New York. He drove like two hours to come and see me. And we went to Hibachi. So we're sitting at the Hibachi thing with other people. And I'm like, I have to go to the bathroom real quick.

So I was a little nervous. Yeah. Like I liked him and I wanted things to work. So I was like, I'll go to the bathroom real quick. I'll be right back. I run downstairs to the bar downstairs and I do three shots. No, you don't. Three shots. Because I'm so nervous. I don't want to fuck up. And I feel like I'm going to be like more cozy with shots. And I'm gone for a while, I guess, because I'm conversating with the bartender. I forget. You know, 10 minutes?

go by and I'm having shots and he goes, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like usually when I eat rice, I get ingestion. Vodka helped. Then he could have left me because I was psychotic. And he was like, why are you taking shots by yourself? I was like, no, the rice hurts my stomach. So the vodka like settles it. He knew I was bullshitting. But yeah, I guess I get that because like I wanted everything to go smoothly. But I was like so nervous that I ran down to the bar and took shots. But now you're married. Yeah. Yeah.

He could have left so many times. I did crazy shit. Like what? Just like that stuff. Like crazy. But like that's you. Yeah. And he loves you for you. He clearly. Yeah.

You know what? Okay, so when you and Jenny had your show, Snooki and JWoww, you went to this one restaurant. Do you remember when you went to Ninja? Was it in the city? And they scared you. I was pregnant, bitch. No, you weren't. Yes. I was addicted. That was my favorite episode of TV ever because you were so scared. I was pregnant. And you were sober while you were doing that? Oh, God. Yeah. Snooki, JWoww, I was pregnant. First season. Did you have five? How long did that go on for? Three, four seasons? Yeah. Yeah.

So I had Giovanna and Lorenzo on that show. Right. Yeah. So I was pregnant at that place. Do you enjoy filming? You like filming, right? I do love filming. It's harder now because I hate leaving the kids. Right. And I hate, like, not being home with the kids. Don't get me wrong. Like, I love, like, the two days of, like, going away and having fun with my friends and drinking and, you know, going back to, like, the old...

The old us. Yeah. I feel like when we all are out for like a couple of times by ourselves, like we we feel like we're 21 again. Yeah. We go crazy. But I'd rather be home with the kids. When you go and you film now, no phones, though. No, we have our phones. We're like, fuck that.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. Because, like, as I was saying, reality TV has changed a lot since you were first on it. We film more, like, housewife style. Right. So, like, we'll go to dinner, and then we'll wrap, and then, you know, we'll do, like, a Jets game and then be done. Right. We'll do, like, a two-day trip. Yeah.

Our longest trip was like six days. But back in the day, it was like 35 days, 24-7, nonstop. Yeah. We can't do that anymore. Like we all have kids. We have lives. That's crazy. We can't just escape like that anymore. But when it was like that at first, it was like you really do feel like a – that's why you guys are so close because it was such – it was like a bond. Like you guys were so connected. You had no phone, nothing. 35 days, you were just together. Yeah.

Literally my best friends. I love them all so much. It's so nice to hear that you guys are still close. I mean, obviously, you've filmed together. No, I actually love my roommates. Yeah. You still call them your roommates? I know. Is that weird? No, it's cute. It's like, I love my roomies. We're like 40 years old. I'll call Julia my roommate until the day I die. Yeah. My boyfriend of three months is very attached to me. How do I tell him to lose... I'm so drunk, bitch. This fucking wine. Do you want me to read it? Okay. Okay.

My boyfriend of three months is very attached to me. How do I tell him to loosen up because we're going to different colleges after the summer? Oh, that means you don't really like him then. You think? She wants him to loosen up before they go to different colleges. She's over it. Yeah, she's over it. Because if you know you're going to different colleges, you want to be all in. Right. Yeah. You don't like him, moron. She doesn't like him. So break up. Yeah, you don't like him. Okay. Yeah. Wait, you're amazing at this.

Like we read this one. My BF and I just broke up after a year and a half for college. And I just need some advice about living my best life in college and standing on business and standing on business without worrying about a man. That doesn't make sense to me. OK, so standing on business means like I think it's like you're standing on business like you have a firm opinion in something. And like that is your opinion. No bullshit. So she's like, how do I what is the question again?

My BF and I just broke up after a year and a half for college, and I just need some advice about living my best life in college and standing on business without worrying about a man. It sounds like she's saying she broke up with him is what that sounds like, first of all, because she's saying, like, I want to stand on business. I want to continue to catch a dick and, like, not go back to my ex. So she wants to live her best. She's asking advice about living her best life in college. I feel like you're the best to answer that. And then she said, call me with her number.

I feel like you're good. We should pretend to use the duck phone. Like, seriously? Okay. Hi, it's Jake, Shane, and Snooki. Wait, wait. Hey, we got your tummy. What's wrong? Oh my God. So Snooki has some advice for you on how to live your best life and stand on business. Wait, first of all, can you explain to me about like standing on business? Like, what do you mean? I'm ancient. I just like...

I cannot be texting him. I cannot be just, like, going back. I just need to be, like, an independent woman. Okay, but do you still love him, and was it a good relationship? Oh, yeah. It was, like, the best. Like, we were definitely still friends and stuff. We just, we were, like, we need to go our separate ways and just, like, grow as our own. Who broke up with who? It was definitely mutual. We were both feeling it. But who? It was you, wasn't it? Both, honestly. No, somebody had to start the conversation. Who started the conversation?

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Yeah. No, it's insane. So are you, now you're in college. I'm going in two weeks. Okay. And you want to stand on business? Yeah. I need to stand on business. I cannot, I cannot fall back. But you broke up with him now. You ended it. We both like, okay. Love each other, but we both need to go have our college time, have fun, not worry about each other. And I just like, I don't want to be sad missing him. I don't want to be sad missing him.

Well, you're going to have moments where you're sad. And you just need to push through that. For sure, yeah. And you need to just live your best life. And as Nicole says, you only live once. No, yeah. I just don't want any bad moments, you know? You're only going to have one college. Just have fun. And honestly, like, respectfully, that was a high school love. Like, I don't even think about high school anymore. High school loves can be real, though. I never had one. Well...

Like for instance, Vin and Skylar, they're gonna get married one day. You guys are gonna get married? Yeah. You think so? Do you guys talk about marriage? Oh, I'll kill myself. They're definitely getting married one day. Alright, what was your name? I'm Alice. Alice? That's right! What's your birthday? December 29th, I'm a Capricorn. Oh, okay. Like my other best friend, Julia. The jewels. Love her. Well, she's here too. You wanna say hi? Hi!

listen to the Junday episode and that's, I just said to my friend, like, that's my favorite. Every single one with Jules or Brett, like, I love them. But I'm so excited for this Mookie episode. I'm literally shaking. Well, you're... Well, he's shaking, bitch, so... Love you, Alice. And I mean it. I love you. I literally love you. I mean it. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. Oh, my God. Thank you. I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I have no idea how to be single. Any advice? I mean, these are such stupid questions. Ha ha ha!

Like literally just go out and have a good time. I don't understand. Like am I old for saying that? No, you're not. Like you need advice for saying that you broke up with someone and what do I do? Like go out and fucking have a good time. Right. Go out with your girls, travel, enjoy yourself. Like these questions are pissing me off. Like are these are the, these are the worries of the life. Give me my phone. I have some questions on my phone. Let's get to like the down and dirty ones. Yeah, let's get down and dirty.

Hi, Jake, and the best guest ever. Do they know it's me? No, but... Okay. Thank you. So basically, my friend is talking mad shit about me to my boyfriend. What do I do? That means she wants your boyfriend. That means she's a terrible person. She's your best friend. No, bitch. No, bitch. Right away. No. Drop. No. Drop. Drop right away. Drop right away. She's clearly jealous of you. She wants your life. She wants your man. Drop. Drop. Drop.

Have you ever gone through a friendship breakup? Yes. Okay. I'm going through a friendship breakup with a friend of nine years, and we're giving each other the silent treatment. I want to know how to spark up a conversation so we can settle this non-toxically. Well, it depends what happened. I feel like if it's way dramatic. So I've been through, like, a couple ones, but I have to say, like, my core best friends, like, I've been best friends with my friends since preschool. Like Ryder? No, Ryder's the one that I had the breakup with. I haven't talked to her in years.

Yeah. I just feel like we grew apart. Like I was pregnant. So Ryder, I had a great relationship with as best friends. I can't say anything bad about her because she was so fun. But like I met her when like the show started. Right. Like she was like the best like drinking buddy. We had like so much fun. We were like doing all of our like. Yeah. Together. But once I got pregnant, I feel like my life was changing and like

Hers wasn't changing like that. So we just stopped talking. We just moved on from each other. It wasn't anything negative, but we just grew apart. And there was never a conversation? No.

No. So maybe like conversations that aren't needed sometimes? I mean, for me, I feel like I was okay. But now looking back at it, I was like, oh, I wish we like talked about it a little more. Yeah. So yeah, if you want to talk to your friend that you fell out with, literally just text them and be like, listen, I want to talk to you. You've been an important part of my life. I want to still be in contact with you and not have like a negative vibe. You know, just...

Just open communication, guys. I don't know why all of you are so scared to talk to each other. Just text each other and say, I really want to talk. I love you, and I don't want this to end badly. Do you like Charli XCX? I just discovered who she is. No way. I'm the worst. Do you like that song? Like, girl. Yeah, I like her stuff. She's hot. Yeah. She's hot as fuck. Yeah. I just discovered her. I know. I'm terrible. The messy mama got to me. I know. I'm telling you. You get drunk really quick.

Really? Yeah. How many shots like back in your like prime did like like prime of Jersey Shore? Did it take you to get drunk? I'd never was a shot girl I'm telling you I hated shots because it would block me out too much that I would like miss the whole night So I loved Long Island iced teas. That was my jam SoCo coke Southern Comfort and coke. What's a southern coke not drugs. Okay, I Never did drugs

And now, yeah, now it's like vodka, seltzer and wine. Messy Mama. Messy Mama. Yeah. I, when did you start Messy Mama?

Three years ago. Okay. Which is crazy because you always think people would want to do a vodka with me. Right. Which I did get brands back in the day saying, oh, let's just slap your name on something. And I never wanted to just slap my name on something. Like I told you, I want to be involved. I want all the creative to be me. Like I'm not just going to make a quick buck. So I waited for wine. What was your favorite project you ever did?

I don't know. Wine. Wine? Wine. Because I love wine. And the fact that I can make the wine. And I'll be like, oh, I ran out of bottles. And I get the wine for free. Yeah. And it's my wine. Yeah. I would say wine. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, back in, like, before you did wine, like, you had confessions of a guidette. Like. Oh, like, okay, back in the day. Well, I'll tell you the funny things that I used to get and I never said yes to. Uh-huh. Condoms. Condoms.

No way. Flavored condoms. They were going to do like a Snooki flavored condom. Uh-huh. And I was like, oh, that's fun. But like, I know I'm trash, but I don't want that to be me. Right. Like I know like people would be like, oh, she's selling condoms. But like I was like, I never said yes to everything. Right. Cigarettes. It's like a Snooki cigarette. I was like, no. I would have paid.

unlimited money for. There was like just trash things that I was like, oh, that sounds good in the moment, but I know when I'm like a mom one day, I'm going to hate that. Right. So I was actually smart.

You are smart. No, but back in the day, like messy me, I was thinking the future mommy, would I like that? Yeah. And I said no. Because you're smart. But I could have made like easy money quick. Yeah. One of my best friends recently confronted me and my other best friend because she had been feeling left out. She also said she had these feelings for a long time and never said anything. I feel like I should be able to have separate relationships with them. What do you think?

So when it comes to girls, sets of three never work. Never. Never. Ever work. Never works. I've had it growing up with my best friends. It just, it doesn't work. Like, there can't be a set of three that works. Right. But there's only one person in that three who gets so upset over everything. Like, oh, you didn't tell me about that. Or I wasn't involved. Or why are you excluding me? Right.

And then when you are hanging out with that one person and not the other person, that other person doesn't care. Right. It's just this one person. Oh. So in a set of three, there's only one person that really gets offended. Because there's only one person to leave out. Yes. Yeah. So what do you think you should do? I mean... Got a new friend, so it's four, right? It's just really hard when friends get so emotional about, like, you hanging out with other people or they're not involved. Like, I get it, but, yeah, I would...

Separate myself. Yeah. It's too stressful. Did you ever? I mean, I guess you guys kind of did you, Jenny and Sammy, but it was kind of you and Jenny always. Yeah, but we never had that. I would say like growing up, this was like high school stuff. Yeah. This happened all the time. Right. Elementary, middle and high school.

This happened to me all the time with sets of three. Oh, it's the worst. But like you love everyone. Now as adults, like in our 30s, it's not like that. Right. It's like God, thank God that we saw each other. Oh, we missed you. We're going to call you on the phone. Right. Like it's different when you get older. But when you're growing up and you're trying to have like a set of three friends, it's not a great idea. Don't do it. Should we have more wine? Yeah. We don't have any more. Do you have rosé? Do you have any more rosé? Bitch. The rosé is delicious. Oh my gosh.

Oh my god. And you feel buzzed, right? Do you have any more questions for me that you said you wanted to ask? I feel like I did. You did. I just wanted to know like your uprising and how you feel about it. Oh, where do you want to go next? I want to go into late night. I want to be like the Gen Z late night host. Love that. You like it, right? I could see it for you too. That's my dream. Yeah, because you can ask whatever and nobody would be offended. Yeah. Nicole or Nick, what did we learn today?

That we're disgusting. Yeah. That we're alcoholics. But that's fine. Yeah. We like our drinks. We're best friends. We're the same person. You're my... Prodigy. You're my... You're my prodigy. And you're the next generation... You're the next generation of a messy mama. I learned that...

Whoever said never meet your heroes is a fucking liar. Oh my god, I always say that. They're a fucking liar because- You got lucky with this one. I got lucky with you. I met some of my heroes. Woof. You did? Yes. Terrible. Whisper who? He was so mean. Was he really? Why was he so- First of all, why is he- He was your hero? I love house music. I know, it's so funny. I loved him. I know.

And he was mean. Yeah. To you. He, like, did, like, the punch in the face. What? Ew, what? Yeah, and he was nasty. When, what year was this? Ew. 2010, probably. Ew, fuck him. But I do love Jessica Simpson, and I haven't met her yet, so. I think she was in the same hotel as me once. If you ever see her, tell her I love her. I will, but it's crazy. She never answers me in DM. Are you, Jessica? I'm stalking her. Jessica. Like, open your DM, bitch. I love you.

I learned that you only live once and it's important to just like now and think about it later. Like, you know, I've learned that I learned that.

You're doing great, sweetie. That is not... There's no point in living with regrets. Like, talking to you made me realize, like, you're, like, everything that you've done and did, and you're like, well, it's led me here, so who fucking cares? Yeah. And, like, life has a plan for you, and you just need to do what your gut tells you and what your heart tells you, and...

Everything else will figure itself out. Yeah. But always be a good person. Yes. Always. Yeah. And that's something, yeah, I need to focus on. I'm a good person. You are a good person. You're a good person. You're a good person. You killed this. Good job, squirrel. Did I really? Yes. Okay, do you promise? You would tell me if I did bad, right? 100%. You'd be like, bitch, that was bad. Well, I got nervous when you hugged me. You were shaking like a Morocco. I was like, how is he going to do this today? Yeah.

The messy mama helped. The messy mama. Okay, speaking of, should we do one more chug? Yeah, to close it out? Yeah, to close it out. Bye, messy mama wine, or you're fake as fuck. Sam. I drank it all. I drank it all, too. We drank two bottles. We drank two bottles. We did it. Thank you for watching what has been.

A dream. A dream. The ultimate highlight of my life. Nicole, I cannot thank you enough for being here and doing this. Thanks for coming to my shore house, bitch. We'll do this again. Promise? Christmas time. I love Christmas. We'll do a Christmas special. Do you want a Christmas special? Yes. Tyson, Christmas special. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see you in Christmas. We'll see you at Christmas. Happy holidays. Wait, you have to say bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. Love you. Bye, pussies. Bye.

Pussy's. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookie.