Session 36: Junday
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Please rise for the Junday National Anthem. Happy Junday to you, I hope you're not blue, on this Junday with you. Happy Junday to you.

Wow. That was amazing. Well, pussies, happy John Day. Happy John Day. Happy John Day to you. John John. This is our first John Day episode together.

So how do we want to tell the pussies? I mean, for those who don't know, do you want to explain what John Day is? So John Day stands for Jake, Julia, John Sunday, because we usually spend every Sunday together. And then John, who's my boyfriend, started like spending every Sunday with us. So then like we were just like, wow, like it's John Day. We would always go to like the same restaurant, like do the same things, like hang out all Sunday. And then it was just like, oh, like it's.

Literally, John Day. Kennedy was like, it's John Day. Yeah, Ken was like, oh, like- For John. But, like, Julia and I were like, what about us? We're also Jake and Julia. We're the original J's. And then John, like, I'm sorry, I'm just gonna say it. Yeah, say it. Like, doesn't like to be a part of, like, our whole shtick sometimes. Yeah, like, he's like, I don't wanna be on camera. So, and we're like, you know what? Like, John Day's a fucking state of mind. Like-

It's just like for me, John Day is like Saturday continued. Yeah, like Sundays. Like, OK, there's no such thing. Whoa. Sunday, like even just saying it like. Yeah, Sunday's not right. There's no such thing as the John Day blues. Like John Day's a happy day. Like happy John Day to you. I hope you're not blue. Where's Peyton? OK, so it is Peyton's birthday today. Happy birthday. Thanks.

Um, we are just curious, like, well, you know, no, we're not curious. We know. Can you explain to the pussies, like, how you're not allowed to be sad on a gender? Like we said, there's no such thing as the gender blues. Of course not. Gender is so important to all of us because all of our best friends, well, I'm not a J, so I guess I'm speaking for myself. All of my best friends are J's. Jake, Julia, John,

So, John Day is so special to us because it's a Sunday celebrating all of our J's. Yeah. And I guess your P's and your K's and your B's and your A's. Do you have any wishes for your birthday, Pei? Yeah. You want to share them? Mm-mm. Okay. Do you want us to say- Are you not allowed to tell? Okay. Can you, like, make a wish? Do you want us to say what we love about you? Yeah. Okay. You go first, Jules. Really? Can you go first? It was your idea, so. Well, I guess it was mine. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I love how witty you are. Okay, I'm just going to make a statement here. I'm going to make a statement. And I know I'm right about this. Blanket statement. You're a bigger birthday diva than Julia. You are, undeniably. No. Yes. Yes.

- Yes. - We travel. - I'm a Leo. - We leave the state every year for your birthday, for three years now. This is the first year we haven't left the state. - Why are you yelling at me? - I'm not yelling at you. I'm just saying. - You're number one. - I feel like Julia's always were always like, ugh, like the birthday diva, but like you are the birthday diva. - Yeah. Well, I'm a Leo. - No, I know, I'm just saying. - I have two Leos actually. - I've been unfairly given the title of birthday diva, like it's you. - Well, yeah.

like a big thing. I feel like I'm pretty good at like handling it myself. Yeah, you do. Me and Julie, I can't do. I don't handle. I am like, oh, it's my birthday and I am making this plan and we are going to celebrate me. But it's like, you guys don't necessarily have to like really lift that many fingers. I thought you were about to say have to come. I was going to say, whoa. Yeah. Of course you had to come. Because we almost went to Hawaii this year. Our friend group is small. You guys don't have to come.

We have no friends. None. Wait, small and mighty. Hello. Okay, should we sing happy birthday to Pei? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Peyton. Yeah, that was wrong. Y'all morning. Morning. Happy birthday to my bestie. Yeah, she said this morning. She opens her eyes. Happy birthday to my bestie. I was like, keep going. Okay, happy birthday to you. Wait.

One, two, three. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Peyton. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Pey. We love you. I feel like a toddler. I'm like. You are. Okay, Peg. I love you. I love you guys. Is there anything else we need to talk about?

Did we fight about anything recently? We've been fighting a lot. We haven't really been fighting like that much. We haven't had an in-person fight in a minute. No. Last time we had an in-person fight was when we like lived in Orlando. Yeah. Those were you guys. Yeah. Like we would scream. Scream. We would scream. Like they were crazy. Yeah. They stopped, but like they were like definitely crazy. We have nothing to talk about, huh? We talk about everything. I've been in a really bad mood lately, haven't I?

I've been actively trying to be better. You've just been like down. Really? Yeah. You're like not getting excited by things recently. Why do you think that is? Like you're just very much like I feel like you might be depressed. Are you serious? Yeah. Dead ass. I'm serious. Why do you say that? Like I'm just thinking you've been down. Like I just feel like good things are happening and you're just like stressed. You're upset. Yeah.

I don't know if this is, like, something you want to share with us. No, I'll share it. We should share it. It's therapist. So maybe I am depressed. I don't know. Like, I don't know. I don't know. Should I switch up my meds? Maybe. Like, it's worth it. I personally think I should be switching mine up. Yeah. Like, I think I need a new... So should we do it together? Yeah. Like, I don't know. Are you still on Wellbutrin? This is when I was, like, yeah. This is when I was, like, planning to, like...

Like address today, but like. Oh, address it. Yeah. Now that, now that we're like on the topic, like I do think you've been on the sadder side. And I think that I've, I've gotten more anxious. You are so much more anxious these days. Right. I know you're anxious because when you're anxious, like you're in a happy mood. Yeah. And I'm like anxious. Yeah. I'm not like sad. I'm anxious. Why are you so anxious? I don't know. I just.

Do you think you're anxious because I'm sad? Or is that like narcissistic of me? That's super narcissistic. But like it's definitely been like something I've been thinking about. Okay, cool. Like I'm like, oh, Jake's like sad. You guys, we just thought we'd give you an extra long intro because it's like the first John Day with us. We haven't had a John Day together in ages. I haven't seen you on a John Day in so long, honestly. So like, thank God we're doing this. Like it's been a long time since we had John Day together. Okay, well, happy John Day, you guys.

Enjoy the episode. Love you, pussies. Hi, pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. Today, we have the most special guest, Bejewels, back in town. Hey, pussies. Hey, Jewels. Like, you're in a bad mood, for sure. The worst mood. I'm in a really bad mood. No, like, the worst mood ever. And I'm actually, surprisingly, in a good mood. Well, do you want to tell them... Oh. We can't talk about that. Never mind. Never mind.

No, I'm just feeling like I'm feeling good. I'm happy. It's summer. Yeah, it's summer. We're both going to Europe. Julia's going to... I'm going to Italy. And actually, I think that's what this episode was supposed to be for, but we didn't really plan for it. Yeah, we didn't decorate at all. We were supposed to... Well, I wanted mozzarella for us. I wanted berets. A beret is a hat, right? Yeah. Yeah.

And I was going to get a baguette. Yeah. Well, anyways, we didn't really prepare, but we're both having travels. We're both having travels. I'm going to France and Italy, and you're going to Italy and what? Just Italy. Okay. What should we do for dinner? I'm so hungry. Well, I, okay, so Julia and I, we're supposed to, we're trying to eat dinner before 8 p.m. That's obviously not happening tonight. We've been trying to eat before 8 p.m. because- It's just like good, we read that it was good for us. Yeah, it's like good for you. We saw that somewhere. And we're really trying to lose weight. Yeah.

Like desperately. And it's hard. It's the hardest thing in the world. I'm so hungry. Yeah. So anyways, but we're not going to be able to eat before 8 p.m. I don't think. Where should we get for dinner? What sounds good to you? I'm really at the stage in... Okay, so me and Julia and Brett, we haven't lived in the same place for longer than a year. I am at the stage in this year...

We've done all the restaurants. I'm so sick. I'm so sick of every restaurant. I'm over every restaurant. It's like I'm bored. And I don't want to cook. And I don't want to cook. I'm not cooking. We can't really. We don't really have groceries. Oh, well, what are you a therapist about, Julia? Okay, let's think.

As I said, I'm in like an unusually good mood. Yeah, you're in the best mood ever, which is like, I'm not in a good mood. Yeah, the worst mood. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, well, why don't you start? I'm pissed because I'm so excited to go. You know, when you have something exciting in a few days, like I have a wedding in a few days.

In Italy. That he invited himself to. That I invited myself to. And I'm really excited to go. And, like, tomorrow's the day before I go. Uh-huh. And so it's like there's only two more sleeps before you go to Italy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my flight is at 1.30 p.m. So you know how I love an early flight because then I just don't sleep. Right. I have to sleep. And that's going to be hard. And I had such an exciting day. And, like, now all the excitement is over. I'll tell you what I'm therapist about. What?

I went to the doctor yesterday and I had to get my blood drawn. And like, I'm like, for what? It was just a checkup. And so I'm like, I'm pretty dramatic about like mostly everything in life. If I'm being honest, like I'm dramatic about everything. Yeah. But something I'm not dramatic about is like getting, like, I don't care. Really. I don't mind like a needle. Like it just doesn't stress me out that much. Like I never like,

get squeamish about like shots or like getting my blood drawn so the nurse takes my blood but they told me i like had to fast for like five hours before my getting my blood taken they told you that yeah because i guess like it gives like the best most accurate yeah is that right of your blood for what it was a checkup okay and so and so they took my blood and the nurse was like are you feeling fine and i was like yeah girl like i feel great and then all of a sudden i was like

Kind of feel like really like nausea like I'm feeling really lightheaded. She's like, oh do you want some juice? I'm like, yeah juice would be great like juice sounds phenomenal she give you Apple

I would have, like, preferred orange. Yeah. For sure. Continue. The nurse goes to get me the apple juice. Was it, like, in the fridge or was it on the – I don't know. I didn't see her get it. Was it cold or was it warm? It was cold. It was cold, I think. Because let me just say, so Peyton's sitting in the chair. She, like, is so scared of needles. She's so scared of – Should we – do you think she'd allow us to play the video of her getting a shot? Yeah, probably. Okay, pause. We're going to play the video of Peyton getting the shot. Do you ever play yoga class? No. No.

Peyton, you have to breathe. You're going to get to breathe. Close your eyes and just breathe. Peyton, you have to breathe. You're going to hyperventilate. In through your nose, out through your nose. You're going to seriously pass out. You're going to hyperventilate. Peyton, you have to calm down. Breathe. Peyton, you have to breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. It calms your breathing. So Peyton's in the corner, but then my bandage is on. She's fine. She's back to life. So I'm like, oh, hey, like,

I really don't feel okay. I like started getting like black dots in my like vision. Yeah. And like I was sweating like profusely like there was sweat going down in my face and I couldn't hear. Like have you ever fainted? Yes, I've almost fainted. That's what happens when you faint. Like you stop being able to hear. Yeah. And like I was like so I'm like Peyton can you get the nurse? So Peyton's like running and she's like nurse she's a pain.

And I'm laying there like, I hope Peyton took a picture. If she took a picture, we can put it here. But I was. We definitely would have gotten a photo. No, I think she did send a photo. I was literally horizontal, like not okay. The nurse was like feeding me the juice. I've never like, I've never had a scare like that. Your blood sugar was probably low. Yeah. And Peyton kept saying things to me. I was like, Peyton, I can't hear you. What was she saying? I don't know. I couldn't. She was like freaking out. So that's probably what I'm pissed about. It was like, and then I had to go back to work. So I was like, all stressed.

Because I fainted. Yeah. Well, we got lunch the other day. Yeah, it was fun. Oh, I think it's also worth noting that my phone's in the other room. Oh, my phone's here. No, I know. I'm just saying my phone's like in the kitchen, which is probably why I'm off because I always need to be near my phone, you know? Right. But it reminds me of what we did the other day. Which was? The comedy show.

Oh my God, you guys, this was so crazy. Okay, so like if there's one thing about me and Julia, it's like we love the phone. I love my phone. I love my phone. I love my phone. I love my phone. I want to know if I'm being wanted. And if I'm not being wanted, I want people. Like I'm going to... Like I just love my phone. There's no explaining that. I'm going to take it to my phone. I just feel like it's the first thing I do when I wake up. It's the first thing I do before bed. It's the last thing I do before bed. I just like... I literally like... I use my phone genuinely. Like I...

I would, I don't know who I would be without one. I mean, you'd quite literally be no one. I would be no. I'm just being honest. Like your phone's given you a lot. Whatever, bitch. Anywho. What does that mean? I'm sorry. No, I'm going to clip it. Okay. I, we didn't, we didn't, they, okay. So anywho, I, I'm not a person without my phone.

Yeah, I'm not either. I'm also just like every time my phone buzzes, like I'm like, oh, what happened? Like whether or not it's just like my friends are being funny or like I got an email or like, you know what I mean? Like I always want to be like, I'm anxious. Like I need to see what's going on. I agreed. And also like imagine just like I'm so accustomed to the luxuries a phone provides me. Like I really can't imagine living without one. Imagine just like

meeting your friend at a restaurant at a set time. And like, what if something happened? And like, without Uber. Also like, imagine guessing the weather. I guess there was the news. I never check the weather. I check the weather every day before I get dressed. Do you really? Yeah, every day. I don't. Because like, the weather's so inconsistent. Sometimes it's 60 degrees, sometimes it's 80. But it always gets hot by the end of the day. You don't realize that? But it's been really cloudy, Jake. Yeah.

Um, anywho, we're addicted to our phones. Yeah. See, I'm addicted to my phone. Yeah, you are. But so basically when we, when we, when you go to a comedy show, sometimes they put your phone in this, um, like bag type thing. I've never heard of this. Okay. Until I experienced it for myself. Cause me and Jake have been to comedy shows before and they're like, please respect the comedian. Like don't take videos. So like we're not, we don't take videos. Out of respect, but also like, I've just like, it would be, imagine like being called out. That'd be so embarrassing.

So, like, of course, I'm not using my phone. So, Jake is like, oh, we're going to go to this comedy show for, like, Netflix as a joke. Like, do you want to come with me? I was like, of course I do. That sounds, like, literally so much fun. And he's like, okay, it starts at 7. So, I'm like, great. Something about Jake is he doesn't tell me things. Yeah, I don't. Like, could never be more unprepared for anything when I'm going somewhere with Jake. Right. Like, he doesn't give me any heads up for, like, anything. So, he's like, I'm like, oh, where's, like, the coffee? We're going to get drinks before the show, so...

I, like, dressed, like, cute. I wore, like, little, like, kitten heels. And so, because Jake told me, like, the show's in downtown LA. I'm like, oh, it's crypto. Cool. We'll literally pull up in a car and get out. Like, there's not that much walking. I mean, there's walking, but, like, I was like, I can suffer through that. The comedy show was at SoFi Stadium. Yeah. We walked nearly four miles in heels. My feet were bleeding. I offered to switch shoes with you. I know, but it's like, I didn't want you in my shoes. Yeah. And then...

No, you would stretch them out. Okay, so we get there, and I have to pee so bad. Like, do you remember how bad I had to pee? Yeah, you had to pee really bad. And we were meeting up with Connor. Mm-hmm. And Connor somehow got dropped off at, like— Sweet Connor offered to give me a piggyback ride. He did, didn't he? I know, but I just, like—I was like, wait, no. Yeah. Like, I would, like, imagine, like, he couldn't lift me. Like, that'd be so weird. So we get there, and we're— I saw my phone. Nolan, take my phone. So we're checking in, or we finally meet up with Connor, and—

So there's no line. Like, there's no line. Oh, yeah, they're like, go to the VIP entrance. We're like, oh, that's awesome. Oh, okay, cool. No line. There's one person working the door. I'm like, Julia, Connor's here in five minutes. Just wait. Somehow in those five minutes, a line that wraps around the block starts to form. And Julia is so mad. And I'm like, I literally, like, don't know what to do. Like, we already done the deed. We're already waiting because I got Connor's tickets. Like, I got them. I thought I was being, like,

I don't know. A good friend? No, you were being a great friend. Like, I was so for waiting for Connor until the line actually turned into a three-hour line. That's what I would be. So we're waiting in the line, and then we're going in, and there are, like, phones on silent. And we're like, duh, phones on silent. Like, a poo. And...

I don't even think I checked to turn my phone on silent and then they take my phone and put it in a bag and lock it. It was the most insane thing in the entire world. They're like, here you go. I looked at Julia. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then I was like, hold on. You need to take that out because I actually don't know if I silenced my phone. So then I had to take it out and like make sure it was silenced and they were so annoyed. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Like what if my phone starts ringing? I wasn't expecting this. Like Chelsea Handler wouldn't appreciate that. No. And so we walked in. I went pee and then we sat down.

And we're like, okay, you know, like, I'm sorry. No, the loudspeaker is like, okay, and now, like...

Opening up. So the show starts. The woman comes on the show. She's hilarious. We're like, oh my God, this is so awesome. Like this, the opening act is phenomenal. Yeah, the show starts. And then she introduces another comedian and we're like, but it's not Chelsea. And we're like, oh, okay, there's two openers. Cool. And then there's another. And then another. And then another. Which was so awesome and so great. But like, we didn't have our phones. We didn't have our phones. And like, I kept trying

I was gnawing at it, like, pulling at it with tooth and nail, like, trying to get out of it, feeling my phone up. Connor said he tried to bite through it. He said it worked once. And then we lost Connor halfway through the show, and, like, we lost all sense of space and time. Me and Jake kept looking at each other. Like, we were, like, super in it when, like, every comedian was, like, on stage, and there would be, like, a little break, and we'd be like,

We didn't know what time it was. And Julia was like, I was like, I think it's 9 p.m. Julia was like, no fucking way it's 9 p.m. It's like 7.50. The show started at 7. It's 7.50. I walk out, it's 8.55. I go, oh my God. I go, I literally go up to a security guard. Just to make it clear, Chelsea had not gone on stage yet. No, she had not gone on stage yet. I go up to a security guard, please, what time is it?

And then we leave. The show ends. We leave. It was amazing. It's like 9.30, 10 p.m. We like run outside to open our phones. And then we realized we have to go back inside for something else. But like in the meantime. Well, first of all, Jake sprinted out. Like he literally couldn't have ran faster out of the show. And then all these people were walking by us being like,

All the kids can't wait to get on their phone. Like, yeah, it's been three hours. It's been three hours. Of course I need to check my phone. I need to check my phone. And we had not one text. But I kept feeling my phone.

Buzz. I felt my mom. It was like Apple News. Yeah, it was nothing. And then we called Peyton and we go, why didn't you text us? And she was like, well, I figured you couldn't be on your phones. Because she had been to a comedy show with us before. And I was like, yeah, but girl, like it's been three hours. Like you had nothing to say to us. None of our friends texted us. I'm really excited for our Japanese food tonight. Yeah. To change the topic. Let's get sashimi. I guess we can start the tell me what's wrongs and just let those guide us.

Yeah. I also smoked a little. Should I smoke a little more? Sure. Go for it. Okay. Keep them busy while I smoke more. Oh, wow. Okay. Let's see. We can talk. Nolan. What's up? Okay. Do you want to know what I'm, like, kind of stressed about? What's up? I've been to Italy before. Mm-hmm. But, like, for some reason, I didn't, like, really, like...

notice or like realize and like maybe I've just become like more of an anxious flyer because like now that I work so much like I don't really go anywhere. Same. From New York it's like 10 hours. That seems wrong right? Fuck.

I don't know where Italy, I'm pretty stupid. I don't know where Italy is. Me neither. I don't know where anything is, to be completely honest. So one thing about me is I don't read books. I've actually never read a book in my life. Neither. Like in school, like maybe like people get upset about this. Like I actually never read. You didn't do Catcher in the Rye or anything like that? No, well, Spark Notes. Oh, really? You did? Like I would write full book reports on Spark Notes. Today, I took, because the new Colleen Hoover, like it ends with us.

I can't. I'm so much better now with my phone. Oh, my God. My mood. You feel less anxious? Oh, my God. Well, I'm talking about how I don't read and I've, like, never read a book in my life. You don't read, yeah. And so I was saying, like, the new Colleen Hoover movie, the movie based on the It Ends With Us is coming out. I was like, I'm going to try to read this book, like, on the plane because Peyton's like, you literally have to read the book before we see the movie. Like, I'll be so angry. And I was like, okay, fine. Like, with the, like...

Pre-knowledge that I have never read a book in my life. Like, not even in high school or college. What would you do? Spark notes. Really? Seriously, for, like, 10-page papers, spark notes. Are you serious? Quotes and all. I'd just, like, skim through the book and, like, see where, like, I could find a good quote. A. Wait, why haven't you read? Because.

Like, you've never read. I can't do it. Like, I'm like, I'm incapable. Like, I know how to read, of course, but like, I just, I can't, I can't do it. Like, I like, and you know what the worst part about reading is? What? When you see how much is left. Yeah, it's the worst part. But then that's fun because you get smaller and smaller and smaller. I don't have the patience. So anyways. You know what? That's something you don't have. I don't have patience for anything. At all. So anyways, I was just telling Nolan how.

I was like, I'm going to read this book on the plane to Italy. And I'm going to try to read on the book. Or read on the beach. Because Corey was saying it's a really good thing to do on vacation is read on the beach. So I was like, oh, I'll do that. That seems like a cheek. Right, right. And so I was like, Peg, I'm going to read It Ends With Us on the Plane. Me and Brett and Peyton were texting about something for Christmas.

Well, do you want to tell the pussies what Girly Pop Vault is? Yeah, basically me and Brett and Peyton are selling our old clothes on our Instagram account at Girly Pop Vault. We have not done it in like a few months. Yeah, what's up with that? You guys really like let that one go. We got a bit lazy. A poo. A poo. But you guys should actually do it. I know. So anyways, I was talking to them and I was like, hey, I'm going to read. I have the book. She lent it to me months and months and months ago, like thinking I'd read it. Maybe I'll read too. Continue. And so, no, you should. I think it's good for you. They say.

Who? Who say? Peyton say? No, but reading's apparently like really good for anxiety. Like it's great for insomnia. Oh, like you. Yeah. But again. Julia has the worst insomnia. It worsens. One time I didn't sleep for three days. Yeah.

Some crazy shit went down in those three days. I don't know. I think, I think like, like it honestly might be too soon. Maybe I can talk. I think I can tell it at a live show, but I don't think I can say what went down on those three days and like put it on the internet. And then like Jake always tries to make me watch that movie awake. Would you know Rodriguez? Yeah. Ariana Greenblatt. Love all of the people that are in that movie, but it's like, that's true. That's my reality. That was your reality. Should we watch it tonight? No. You said the trailer looked good. I'm like done watching those type of movies.

Anywho, so this is, like, to wrap my story on reading up, I was like, pay, I'm going to read It Ends With Us on the Plane, but, like, I need another...

book for the beach. Like, can I, can I like borrow another one? And she was like, oh my God, she's never been so excited. She's texting in all caps. She's like, oh my God, of course I pick it out. Brett chimes in about like 10 minutes later and is like, Jules, maybe you should just stick to one. In what world would you read two books? You haven't even read one in 10 years. I've never read a book in since like, okay. If you, you know, if you get into books, I'm going to have to get into books. Of course. Oh,

Of course. And then you're going to make it your whole personality. Maybe I should get into books. Let's get into books. I just don't have the patience. No, it's like impossible. But you know what I do have the patience for? Your phone. Should we see if anyone's tried to contact us? Yeah. Well, I don't have my phone anymore. Oh, that's not fair. No, it's okay. Oh, John just texted me. Oh, well, it's John Day. We haven't even explained what John Day is. Oh, okay. We need to explain what John Day is. Speaking of John, he would come over every Sunday. And when Kennedy still lived here, rest in fucking peace.

Yeah. Seriously, Ken, he's the biggest loss we've ever suffered. He's the biggest loss we've ever suffered. And like we talk about it often and we're like. It's really like it really affected us. It actually changed our lives like quite significantly. Yeah. And you know what's crazy, Ken, is that your life is like you don't miss us. It's almost better. Yeah, you don't miss us at all. It's almost better. And like, well, like. We're like, Ken, when are you coming back? And she's like, haha. She was like so much happier.

Maybe we're just miserable people. I don't know. F. I mean, we tend to do the same thing every single- We don't do much. We don't do anything. Actually, like, all the time, like, I meet people and I'm like, like, wow, like, that person would be, like, so lovely to, like, do something with and then, like- No, seriously, because it's like, wait, I won't leave the side of my three friends. I just- And it's like, it's a curse. I was so- It's a really bad quality in all of us. I was so social for so much of my life. And pay attention.

like itching to get out. Yeah. Peyton's like gnawing at the bed. She's like, please guys, can we please go out? And we're like, no, we just, I'm like fine with our company. Like, I don't like, you know, but I do, you know what? I'm going to give a shout out. Will and Georgia. Will and Georgia and Charlie. And Charlie. Yeah. Those are, those are our besties. Those are our new friends. Yeah. Those are our besties. We didn't, yeah, but we, those are. I mean, Georgia's not a new friend, but like they're our new friends. Yeah. I miss Georgia. Me too. How did we get here? This is a John Day special. It's a John Day special.

So in honor of Junday, we are going to read some tell me what's wrong. Yeah. Is it wrong to get your best friend's initial tattooed without their knowledge because you were secretly in love with them? Yeah, that's probably wrong. That's wrong. However, you are dating their twin brother. What the fuck? However, you are dating their twin brother and have been for a little over a year. I haven't gotten the tattoo yet, but plan to as a reminder of how I felt. Oh, well, when you put it that way, if I don't plan on breaking up with her brother, what should I do? Simple. Don't. Why would you get that tattoo? Yeah.

I'm so sorry. Like, I actually got so lost in that whole thing. Admit, that was confusing. No, seriously. She wants to get the initial tattooed of her best guy friend, but she's dating the best guy friend's twin brother. I see why you don't read. You have bad reading comprehension skills. Oh, it's a girl best friend? I don't know. You guys need to start putting your tattoos. Okay, here's what it is. Okay.

I think it's, you know. Let me explain this. Please let me explain it to you. Please. Please let me explain it to you. But, like, overall, without even needing, like, I don't need to understand. I'm just saying, like, just get a bracelet with the initial. Like, you don't need a whole, you don't need a tattoo. Well, I don't believe in tattoos. No, like, to each their own. For myself. For myself. Sorry. A tattoo would be so wrong on you. It would just be wrong on me. Like, looks great on other people. I actually think tattoos are really cool, but it's, like, if you're not sure about, like, what you want to, like,

Just get a necklace. Right. A J. Spend a little money on it. Or don't. Like you could get it on Amazon. Okay. Life hack. But I'm just saying. So let me explain this to you because you're not understanding. Okay. Person. Person one is in love with twin one. Twin one is their best friend. They are dating twin two. Twin two.

And they want to maybe break up with twin two. Twin two for twin one. For twin one. Who is their best friend? Who is their best friend? Oh, I mean, like, that sucks for twin two, but, like, you got to do what you got to do. No, but it doesn't. Twin one is their best friend. Oh, so, like, there's no chance. Yeah, this doesn't sound like it's happening. Okay, so I think the, I mean, if it's your best friend, like, that's sweet. Like, I guess we're a bad example because I'm J2, so, like, it could be for either of us. Yeah. But, like, I don't think it's weird. Like, I'd get a tattoo for my best friend for sure. Okay.

Okay, but okay, fine. I was being judgy, fine. No, like I think it's like a little dramatic. Just like that's never going away and like what if you had a fight with them? Yeah, and it's like, you know. But they did say it's for a reminder of how I felt and I think that's weirdly poetic. Yeah.

But, like, I don't know if you need a tattoo for it. Yeah, I'm going to go with get some jewelry. And I'm going to prescribe Tattoo by Jordan Sparks. Oh, that's a cute one. I like that one. That's a good prescription. Oh, my God. What are the lyrics again? Just like a tattoo. Always have you. Just like a. I don't know the rest of them. What are the lyrics, Nolan? I don't know that song. You don't know Jordan Sparks? You don't know who Jordan Sparks is? Mommy, I'm supposed to breathe with no air. Should I look them up? You don't know no air.

No, like you don't know who the Jordan Sparks is, the 2007 winner of American Idol. That. That season that just literally everyone watched, respectfully. Yeah. Was David Archuleta on that season? Yes. Exactly. Not ringing a bell. Can you just please look up the lyrics to Tattoo by Jordan Sparks? That's all I ask. And if you could say to me the first few words and I'll catch on. I'll remember starting the lyrics.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, oh, oh, oh. No matter what you say about love, I keep coming back for more. Keep my head in the fire. Okay, maybe start from the chorus. I'm not, no melodies picking up here. I can't waste time, so give it a moment. I can't waste time, so give it a moment. I've realized nothing's broken. Don't worry about everything I do. We don't know the words. Nothing's broken.

You're a part of everything I do. You're on my heart just like a tattoo. That's a really good song, Noli. I'll always have you. I'll always have you. I'll always have you. You really don't know Jordan Sparks? I'm not young. I know you are young. I forgot. How old were you when the Twin Towers fell? Not born. I wasn't born yet. He's 20. That was two years before I was born.

Such a marker in society. I know. I'm like post 9-11, baby. That's how I introduced myself to people. I was one. You were one? Yeah, in the city. I was one, too. In the city? I lived in California. In California. What's your star sign? Libra. Knew it. Well, I guess you've told me a few times. Okay, that was a great prescription. Let's read the next one. My best friend of five years slept with my dad. What? My mom has cheated before, but much earlier in the relationship. Both have no idea about each other's flings. They don't know that I know. What should I do? Girl!

you know? R-A-B. Rude ass bitch. That messed. Okay, first of all, girl, did the best friend confide in you and be like, oh my god, guess who I hooked up with? Your dad. First of all, that's insane. And that friendship. Immediately. Second of all, how do you know about all this stuff without your parents knowing that you know? You know?

Um, okay. What could we prescribe? Pretty Little Liars. I feel like Allison- We've done that before. Um, this sounds like a plot line straight out of like a soap opera back in the early 2000s. So I'm going to prescribe you General Hospital, the soap opera. Because she gets wacky. Yeah, I mean, that's just crazy, honestly. I don't really know what she should do. I was thinking like, you know, that song from- I mean, I know what she should do. She should confront the dad.

And that's not how I would go about and the friendship with. And then like team mom. Yeah. Because she's saying like my mom has also cheated before, but much earlier in the relationship. It also wasn't with your friend. Yeah. Like I'm sure it was more age appropriate. Messy, messy mess. But let me just say I was thinking about that song from Victorious. Did you ever watch Victorious? Best friend's brother? Yeah, but it doesn't. It doesn't apply. No. This is a dad.

That's a great song. BFB. BFB. You know that one? Yeah, okay, cool. I was on my mom's laptop the other day and came across her dating website Instant Messenger. I mean, why would you look, though? Why would you look? That's a form of torture. I saw her sexting this man, and after reading more of the conversation, I saw him ask her to send him $10,000. Oh, girl. No. She's getting internet thumbs. I'm scared she's getting... Oh, I know what we're prescribing. One sec. It's not over. Okay.

I am scared that she is getting catfish, but I don't know how to tell her. Bitch, obviously she's getting catfish. What do you mean you're scared she's getting catfish? That's the reality. That's literally like sirens are going off. Oh my God, you have to tell your mom you're getting catfish. If you don't, like I'm going to delete your account for you. Yeah, no, that's fucked up. What's the show?

On Netflix. Yep. Tinder swindler. Tinder swindler. So definitely watch that and like hopefully it'll knock some urgency into you to like get to your mom and help her. Yeah. Like show her the Tinder swindler and be like, this is happening to you. Yeah. Like that's insane. $10,000. And it's like, yeah. I'm curious as to what she responded. Was she like, sure, babe? But-

I would. Yeah. It's like that's cause for concern. Yeah. Well, I'm actually also curious to see what she's responded. Yeah. Oh, she's going to be like, why the fuck were you going through my dating messages? And honestly, she's right. Yeah. That's honestly, thank God you were. No, thank God you were. But what were you like? She's she's being catfished. She's being catfished. My boyfriend and I are crazy in love. But when we fight, we fight really bad. Please help. I'm really not over you not knowing Jordan Sparks. No, I'm so sorry. She's like a legend. Wait, before we call.

Her and her boyfriend fight really bad. They love each other, but when they fight, they fight really bad. And she's like, I don't know what to do. Do we work towards our goals? Yeah. Goals. Hello. This is Jake Shane. And Julia. Say hi to Julia. Hi, Julia. Wait, we got your tummy. What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it or no? Oh, my God. Yeah. Why not? Okay. So tell us what's wrong.

What isn't? Okay. Well, you wrote in about your BF. Do you want to talk about that? I totally get if you don't. If you don't, we will cut this entire thing. No, let's do it. You want to talk about it? My kind of girl. Okay. What's going on? You fight a lot. You fight a lot, and you're not sure if you should cut it off. Well, you know what? I think Julia has some advice for you. Girl, what's your name? Abby. Abby! Oh, my God. So nice to meet you. Such a good name. Okay.

I think that fighting is healthy to like a certain extent, right? But it kind of depends. Right? Yeah. So, but then like it gets to an extent where it's like, are the fights like outweighing the good, you know? Yeah. And that's, that's the key. That is, but like, how are you feeling about that? Like, do you think that they're outweighing the good? Sorry. It's me again. It's me again. It's so complex, you know? Yeah. How old are you? I don't think so. How old are you? 24. So are you post grad? We're 24 too.

I'm about to graduate grad school. Congratulations. Well, you know what? Abby, what I will say is we're so young. Like, these aren't like decisions you need to figure out like right now. Like, you're not about to get married. Also, like you're about to graduate. Like, this is about you, not your boyfriend. Like, if you guys are fighting. I always say that. Like, it really is just

It's just good for you, girl. Yeah. Like it is about you. It's always about you. And it's mostly, it's like, and you're about to graduate. Like, don't even like waste your energy on relationship troubles right now. Like just focus on like how proud of yourself you should be that you're graduated and like party and enjoy it. And like it's summer, you know? And you should just say like, if this relationship is like. Thanks Abby. We love you. Wait, what are you in school for? We need that. Wait, Abby's going to be a therapist. You guys, she's literally in school for therapy. Yeah.

Wow. That's amazing. Congratulations, Abby. We love you, Abby. Don't worry about the boyfriend, at least right now. Focus on your graduation and being young. Okay. Thank you so much. You guys are so slight. Have a great night. You too. I'm a 23 year old virgin who needs advice. Oh my God. Literally like almost was me.

Like, is this embarrassing? Every guy that I hook up with just never feels right. We get to the point right before you know the moment, and I always freak out. To each their own. I think that, like, there's such a... I think there's just, like, a social construct around that, like, entire topic. And, like, you do what feels right for you. Yeah. Like...

I get that. I get feeling bad though. Like it's like annoying. Like I used to feel the same way and I used to be like literally like everyone's part of a club that I'm not part of. Right. But like you're on your own timeline and like don't put like pressure on yourself. Yeah. Like the right guy will come. Yeah. Your time will come. I tell Jake that all the time. Yeah. It doesn't feel good in the moment but I'm sure I'll relate to it later down the line. And girl when it rains it pours. I'll tell you that much. Uh huh. And you know what I'm going to prescribe? What?

Two things. One, okay, like, do you guys know this song? I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. That song. And then just because, like, that's, like, I remember hearing that and being like, ugh, I want to have sex. So, like, I get it. And then. That's a crazy thing to think about when you hear that song. But that's the whole point of the song. Yeah, but, like, I guess, yeah, it is. Right? Yeah.

They played it in like what? I'm pretty sure I watched it on like a teen drama and they were like having sex and the song played. Yeah. Maybe. Okay, whatever. I also prescribe... I have a prescription. Okay. I prescribe my favorite movie in the world...

Sliding doors. No, bitch. What? Clueless. Oh, clueless. I was going to prescribe that too. Because Cher, she is a virgin who can't drive. And let me just tell you, that girl is gorgeous. She's got it going on. But like, her time did not come yet. It didn't come yet. So, there you go. Clueless. Best movie ever. I have a crush on my friend, but I'm scared to tell her. I'm thinking about telling her before we graduate so we can have...

We can have a fun summer before college, but I'm terrified of rejection. Honestly, like, as much as I want to tell you, just do it. Like... I kind of get the fear. I get the fear. But also, it's like, now you're just, like, it's never... You're never going to feel good if you don't get it off your chest. Yeah, maybe just get it off your chest. But, like, prepare for the worst, I guess. Okay, so do you know what I'm going to prescribe for that? So, like, I just want to keep things, like, realistic. No, that's okay. Do you know what I'm going to prescribe? Lavender Haze by Taylor Swift. Wow, yeah, that's a good one. Because...

Get it off my chest. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. And then I'm also going to prescribe by Rene Rapp, Strangers to Lovers to Enemies. Yeah. But I guess they might skip the lovers part. Yeah. And I missed the friend part. Strangers to Friendship to Enemies. Yeah. That's a good one. It just changed the lyric in your mind. And then what else should we prescribe? We Can't Be Friends by Ariana Grande. What?

Yes, you might not be able to be friends. Yeah, and that's what you have to, if you really just want to go for it and Lavender Hayes get it off your chest, then maybe we can't be friends, Ariana Grande. Whoa, I have chills.

That was crazy. That was one of my better prescriptions. I'm trying to think about, like, what else, like, when you, like, confess and, like, things are weird. I don't know. Like, I feel like there's a lot of things. I've never been confident when it comes to guys. Me. Because I feel like they will make fun of me if I make the first move. Also me. I'm going to college next fall, though, and have no experience. So how do I build the confidence to start talking to and making moves on guys? Okay, you aren't even in college yet? Like...

You got time. You have time. You're going to figure it out. Just trust that you'll figure it out. You'll build it. Also, I will say that way. And I'm 24 years old. I think that you shouldn't be afraid if guys think that you're weird for like making the first move. I actually think guys really like love boldness. I think it's cool. And like, be like, don't be shy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, stick your neck out a little. I guess that's the wrong expression.

I guess you don't agree with me. Sorry, I haven't listened to a single thing you just said. I was tearing off into space. I was just saying, like, I think it's good to be bold and, like, don't be timid. Yeah. My thing is, like, I feel like it'll come to her if she's already realizing this about herself. Like, what's a show? Okay, hold on. My gears are grinding. Oh, well, why don't we prescribe the show Greek? I've never seen it, but that's about college. Or...

Look at Rachel Berry as an example. Because in no world was she ever, ever getting Finn. Ever. But that bitch was persistent. She got Finn. Yeah, she got Finn. They were in love. That's the best show of all time. Of all time. Like, did you have using glee? Seriously. Nolan, what? Oh, you know what? Makes sense. Because then you would know no air. They fucking covered no air in glee. Oh, yeah. Rachel and Finn.

My mom loves Glee. Yeah, because it's the best show of all time. Wait, you don't know the song, How I'm Supposed to Breathe with No Air? We already went over it. We sang the whole thing. You don't know that song. I recently started liking this guy after we went to prom. Yes, we're in high school, LOL. I asked him on another date and he bailed because he said he was nervous and he's never dated someone before. Should I keep trying or drop him? Girl, he does not sound like he's what you need. Yeah, you sound like you know what you want. Yeah, and he doesn't. And like, you asked him on a date and he said he's nervous. The ball's in his court. Like, on to the next one.

Yeah, you could find a new date. But we did just tell that girl to be persistent like Rachel Berry. Yeah, but I'm just saying, okay, this guy seems like a loser. So find a not loser. Yeah, it's fine. On to the next. If he's nervous to date someone, I don't know. You're in high school. Okay, if you're prom, you're almost at the end of high school. Yeah, you have a long way to go. So many more guys in college. I prescribe. We'll get back to you on the prescription. Sometimes it takes doctors a minute.

All my friends like to drink and get literally obliterated, but I don't drink because I get the worst anxiety. Super valid. So valid. How do I have fun with my friends while they're literally all hammered without being drunk? Honestly, I don't know. I'm the wrong person to ask because if my friends are getting drunk, I'm not going. If I'm not drinking...

Unfortunately, to whoever told us what's wrong, we cannot help. We cannot help. But we can't help. And there is help to be had. Like, there is a way to do this. But, like, it's just not going to come from us. No, like, I'm sure you can have fun. It's just not. Just, like, we are actually, like...

We are the wrong people to ask. Because we also have your same problem on occasion. Yeah, like we're actually also telling you what's wrong. We're also telling you that that's what's wrong with us as well. We're looking for a prescription ourselves. So like what if you find out, you let us know. Essentially is what we're trying to say. I'm going to do this one. Okay. Hey, so I met this guy at a bar and approached him because I thought he was cute. Then I went to his place and hooked up with him as one does. But then I realized he's a compulsive liar. He also won't leave me alone and it's been months. I see him every weekend at the bars. Please help.

Love, Sarah. And she gave us her number. Sarah seems like my kind of girl. Yeah, Sarah seems like she'd fit right in. Hi, Sarah. Hi. Hi, it's Jake Shane. Are you busy? No, it's not. Shut up. No, it really is. Hi. Oh, my God. What flavor puff? What flavor puff? Oh, yeah. Grape is good. No. Ooh, who's the posters? I love the posters.

going on 30. Oh my God, lover. Is that the OC? Julia, this is- Sarah, I think you like literally might be in our friend group at this point. Like you're seeming like our type of girl. I literally watch you guys and I'm like, I could be friends with that. No, you could be. You could be. Give me. I want to talk to Sarah. Okay, so you see this guy at the bars all the time and he won't leave you alone. No, he's psycho. Why is he psycho? Why is he psycho? It's like a long story. Well, we have time. Okay, so I'll make it really short.

So I met him, and, like, I was drunk, and I was, like, I told my best friend, I was, like, wait, that guy's really cute. And then she was, like, okay, like, I got you.

I was like, okay. So then I maybe made out with him that night. Totally fine. Gave him my number. Yeah. I went to the bathroom and he texted me, you're so beautiful. No! No. And I was like, oh my God, no. But I was like, okay, I was drunk. I was like, okay. Kind of cute. Like if I was drunk, I'd be like. Well, cause like I was just going to say like if someone did that to me and I was drunk, I'd be like, oh my God, he's obsessed with me. Yeah, but like looking back at it, you're like. That's weird. That's creepy. That's a little creepy. No. Yeah. And so then I might've gone to his dorm maybe like two years ago. I don't know.

Three days he told me he loved me and I was like, it's so me. Like, it's so me but I would never say it out loud. Totally. Totally. And he won't leave you alone now? Back home to Virginia to watch the Super Bowl. A week later he goes, I'm going back home because my dad is going to never leave today. Oh yeah, Sarah, we gotta like block, block. Sarah, I think we might want to text him to hang out after this. But,

Sarah block block block report. It's so bad. No. Yeah block wait. Okay. Well Sarah. We love you literally so much Wait, I can't believe I'm your favorite guest Sarah. Oh, yeah Julia's repeating that part because when you said that it wasn't into the night No, I watched her episode the birthday one and the first one like and the one with Peyton like maybe five times Oh, yeah. Well Sarah, let's hang out Wait, where do you go to college?

I'm going to a community college for two years because I did kind of bad. But then I'm going to Florida State. Love. That's so fun. You're going to love it. I hope. Okay, well, we love you, Sarah. I love you both. I am obsessed with her. She was funny. Is there another phone number? Yes, there's one more. I'm just going to keep your phone. Hi, this is Jake Shane. Oh, my God. You're fucking with me. No, I mean it. Stop. I'm with Julia. Say hi to Julia. I'm literally at work right now. Stop.

Do you want to say hi to the pussies? Yes, I do. What's your name? We have a friend named Kennedy. Oh, my God. Wait, Kennedy having the best person. How do you spell Kennedy? With a, I mean. J-E-N-E-D-Y. Okay. Yeah, no, that's a good way to spell it. That's the most, yeah. Our Kennedy spells it weird. Our Kennedy spells it weirdly. Sorry, Ken. Sorry, Ken. Oh, my God. Well, Kennedy, we love you. We just calling people and wanted to say hi. Love you, Kennedy.

Love her. Yeah. Okay, so. What did we learn today? We learned. I honestly think I just blacked out for the past two hours. I learned that I have really bad reading comprehension. Yeah, you do. What did you learn? That I want to leave. You've got to get new furniture, really. Truly. I've learned that I'm really hungry. When you have, like, real people on this podcast, like.

They're probably like... Yeah, they get really uncomfortable. They've told me. I want dinner, really. Yeah, okay. I've learned that I want dinner. Okay, well... Oh my God, we didn't even talk about Europe, really. That was the whole point of this episode. We literally didn't do anything we said we would do. Okay, why don't we do a Junday post-travel? Okay. Yeah, I guess we're going to have to. It'll be more fun because then we can talk about what happened when we traveled. Right. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Do you disagree? No, I completely agree. Okay. Okay. Love you, pussies. Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookie.