Session 32: Saweetie
52:49 Share

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Hi, pussies, and welcome back to Therapist. We definitely have a few updates for you guys, but one of the most important ones being that my tour presale went live today, and it is almost sold out. So go to PassThatPuss.com and find a city near you. I'm sure, I hope I'm coming to it. And the presale password is PussyPSA, with general on sale being this Friday. It's October through November. And I'm going to be doing a lot of

I cannot wait to meet you guys. I'm so excited. And, like, I actually can't believe –

As many people are buying tickets as they have. Like I woke up to a million texts. It was the craziest morning. So I'm just, I'm so happy right now. I'm so grateful. I love you guys so much. It is going to be so fucking fun. We are going to have the best time. I literally cannot wait. Every time I do a live show, all I can think about is how I want to do it again. And I can't wait to bring an even bigger version of it on the road. Today, we have Saweetie here in the therapist's office. She is so kind. We are both fellow Trojans.

And it was just the chillest, best interview. We had the best time. We bonded over our love for octopus sushi. The fact that we both, the fact that we both went to USC was,

Sorry, I'm really excited today. So, like, I'm choking over my words. Stream her new single, Nani, out now. She will be releasing more music by the end of the summer. It is amazing. She is amazing. And I can't wait for you guys to hear this episode. Submit Tell Me What's Wrong to PassThatPuss.com. Leave a name and number if you're feeling fancy. And, yeah, enjoy the episode, pussies. Love you. I found this out the other day. I was looking through old screenshots. I found...

Icy Girl when it had 2,000 views on YouTube. Really? Yes. And I'm not even just saying that. And I posted it and I was like, oh my God, I love this song. And I was looking through old screenshots and I was like, okay, finger on the pulse. Oh, look at you ahead of the curve. I know. I know. Well, welcome sweetie to Therapus.

We were just talking about how octopus have attitude, and I wanted to introduce you to Passandra. Hi, Passandra. She says hi. Wait, she's, her face, oh. Oh, sorry. Hey, girl. There she goes. She's a little quiet, but speak up. I hear her. You hear her? We got the connection. Uh-huh. How's your day going so far? It's going good. The first thing I like to have. Wait, it just clicked. It's like a therapy room, and then there's octopus, octopus.

I like it. Everything just like, all the fireworks just went off in my head. Yes. Oh, so you walked in and you were like, why are there octopus all around the room? It's my favorite. It's my favorite. It's the animal. Really? It's mine too, but I think we have the favorites for opposite reasons. You like want to protect them. I mean, I want to protect them. I mean, I want to eat them too. Oh, okay. Good, good. Glad we're aligned. I love the octopus sushi, the taco sushi. Me too. Yeah. Me too. I call that raw puss. Raw puss. Yeah.

That's funny. That's raw puss, and then there's grilled puss. I like the raw puss better. I like raw puss. I mean, I don't love raw puss. I like it. My favorite type of puss is grilled Spanish-style octopus, or grilled Spanish-style puss. You know, I have to argue with you. I feel like it takes away from the rubberiness. You like the rubberiness? I love the rubberiness.

Chew it. That's what I always say when it's too rubbery. It tastes like the texture of wet clothes from laundry. No, I feel like I'm eating a fish. I guess. So you like seafood? Imagine the fish community watching this video right now. Yeah, they'd be like, fuck you guys. I mean, I guess octopus could watch this, right? I think they'd be terrified. But you said they're the smartest fish.

They are, but imagine if we were to watch somebody talking about eating humans. Yeah. Yeah, it's a different dark hall. So we actually have a lot in common. We both went to USC. What school were you in? Annenberg. Oh, yeah! Were you a teacher?

Shout out to Stacy Smith. I did a panel with her last year. But, ooh, that woman. She does her research, and we had to read all them research books. What was your major? Communication with the emphasis in business. Amazing. I was PR. Okay, PR.

Okay, PR. Yeah. I love Dannenberg and Embody. Oh, wow. I love that. Were you able to, like, be in the new building? Yes. I came right when the new building started. So I left. I was able to experience it for one year, and then I graduated. It was cool. The newsroom was sick. No. What's even sicker is the new dorms. Yeah. I love it.

This wasn't here when I was here. When did you graduate? 2016. Wait, did you live in, what dorms did you live in? First of all, I lived at the Lorenzo. They couldn't fill all the rooms. But it's ridiculous. I'm paying $1,100 to share a tiny room. So they couldn't fill all the rooms. So what they had to do is they start having to fill it with other people.

Like that don't attend the school? That don't attend the school. So you lived with people that didn't attend USA? Yes. So it was like Project X meets everybody else. And you took the Lorenzo shadow to school every day? Yes, I did. Damn. Were you like annoyed?

Not really. I was just so happy to be in L.A. Like if you get the package. The big one. Yeah, because I was so obsessed with coming to the school. I was like watching like vlogs and like people who like talked about the acceptance process. And they said, if you get the big packet, that means you got in. Yeah. But what had happened was, is my packet came like two days late. So I was like, oh, my gosh, I better not see that envelope.

Yeah, the envelope. That's what I was scared of too. I was in LA when Acceptances came out. USC was the only school I wanted to go to. It was the only school I wanted to go to. I was like in New York at the time and I just wanted to get out. And I remember calling my mom like every five seconds being like package, package, package, package, package. And then the mail came and I didn't get a package. And I was like...

I told every single person in my contact list, hey, I got rejected. Really? I told the college counselors at my school, hey, I got rejected. Are you serious? Hey, I got rejected. And then I felt my phone buzz while I was in the middle of a movie. And I said, oh, my God, I got accepted. I just knew it. And I ran out and I was like, oh, yes. Really? Like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I hit the floor. And then I thought I was in a movie and everyone was just walking by me. No one cared because no one in LA fucking cares. But like... Wait, I actually have...

I found my old computer and I have, I used to talk to camera and I talked to, and I have that envelope and I talk about it. I wonder if I could, if I could like find it again. Wait, find it. I want to see it. Yeah. I still have my old Facebook status. I was so excited to make my Facebook status. USC class of 2022.

and have everyone liking and commenting. That was my favorite. I was so excited. And then I added it to my bio. Oh, my God, I was so excited. I was so excited. And then they were like, yeah, God, I loved USC. Did you come in as a true freshman? Yeah. So I was a transfer from San Diego State. Did you like San Diego State? I love San Diego State. My only thing was it took me a really, really long time to make friends. Yeah. You know, you hear about the transfers, right?

and their struggle with, like, finding their community. And I never was able to understand it until I became a transfer student. Yeah. Yeah, because as an incoming freshman, you have, like, your tribe. And my tribe was at San Diego State. But, like, did you eventually found your people at USC? I'm eventually, but it wasn't the same as, like, you know, like, this freshman week and all the things that you guys experienced together as, you know, true freshmen. Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you, that was, for at least to make you feel better, that was, like, one of the worst times of my life. Why? Because it was so scary. It wasn't scary. It was intense. It was scary. And people were, like, you know, it's, like, exclusive and scary and, like, who's invited to what? So, like, honestly, like, you might have saved yourself some stress. It was, I remember my first semester at USC wanting to transfer. Oh!

Yeah, I was really, really anxious all the time. Wait, tell me more. What made you anxious? Was it just not as welcoming as... It's... I remember going to USC and everyone saying just... I remember no one told me before, but I got in and everyone was like, okay, just warning you, it's like high school continued. And I was like, sure. And then I got there and it kind of was. And I just remember it being like...

very like who's coming to what, who's invited to what pregame, who's going to this, who's going to that. And like, I like, and then, and then what really was rough was like the Greek life scene. And like, I can, you know, I didn't know anyone at the time. So it was like, who do you know here? I was like, no one. And I'm not a girl. It was just, you know, it was, yeah. Do you mind if I take off my shoes? Please, please get comfortable. You look so comfy. I am so comfy. Okay. Well, what I will say about San Diego state, the school was very welcoming and,

And there was, I believe we got to school a week before school started. So every day there was something to do. Yeah. It was like sports. Yeah. It was like sports games. On the last, the last night we had a carnival. I mean a carnival, a carnival. And yeah, it just like, it was so magical. Yeah. Yeah. San Diego State was very welcoming. Yeah.

The Greek scene wasn't that prominent. Right. There was probably only like...

three or four pop and fraternities, and all they cared about was throwing massive bomb parties. So they were always just welcoming people to just pull up. That sounds so much nicer than the USC environment. I mean, I kind of, like, felt that way when I first transferred over because it was kind of intimidating. It's very intimidating. Only because I've never been in rooms that felt so prestigious. But after I got over it, it definitely made me, like, a stronger woman. Yeah, I...

Couldn't agree more. I think like being in that setting also like kind of like made me like stronger, like emotionally and like more attached to the people that I did meet. I love that. How did you guys meet? Okay. So my best friend Julia and I met...

How did we meet? We met in high school. And then Julia wanted to go to Northwestern. She got denied. And then USC was her second choice. And she got in. She found out right before me. At the time, I didn't think I got in. And I called my mom and I was like, I can't be friends with Julia anymore. Like, she got into USC. Like, I'm over it. I know. And then I was like, I can't do this. And then I got in. And then we were on the same floor. Brett, we met. We were like Instagram friends, kind of. You know, we were just all following each other. And then she...

We were on the same floor and we just met each other on the first night. And I told her, I told her she thought this was a peace sign. And I was like, oh, no, it's a V for victory. Yeah. I didn't know either. No one knows. Yeah. V, victory. Okay. I just learned something new. I know. Yeah. So then that's how we bonded. And Brett, that's how I met Brett Payton.

Was also just lived in my dorm. And like. We became close that way. Now we live together. I love that. Yeah. And so. It was. That's how I met all of them. But it was all through college. Where was your favorite place to eat? Eh.

Okay. Tie by trio. I think they probably made that after. What was yours? Mine was lemonade and CPK. There was no lemonade for us. Oh, yeah. It was at the top. So when you go up the Trojan. Wait, there was a lemonade. There was a lemonade in the. In the. I forgot the community center. Yeah. Yeah. Like the main cafeteria. Right next to the new Annenberg. Yeah. Yeah. I loved the lemonade. I used to get the Pokey Bowls. Oh, and I like the blood orange one.

That's the lemonade I liked. Yeah, it's my favorite one. And then, so were you there when The Village was there or no? Yes. I actually had a class at The Village. Really? Yes. I think I had like a theater class there. I took theater my senior year. I almost failed.

How did you almost fail? I would like go to the bathroom to sneak on my phone and they like caught on and they were like, you can't go on your phone during this. And I was like, I'm sorry. Like, and it was like my birthday. So I was checking all my reposts and then sometimes I would like miss class. You are so Gen Z. I know. I know it was horrible. But then,

Then I think I go to B+. I was senior. I was so over college. I was like, I wanted to work. I was like, I just, I'm ready to. You did four years or five years? Four. I did five. Wow. Yeah, so I was really over. Yeah, I can't even imagine. My last year was like hell because I took like five to six classes per semester so I can graduate, so that I could graduate in five years and not six years. Oh, wow.

I would have had to stay an extra year. Because USC is gnarly about when you transfer. They don't take most of the credits, right? Yes. Another reason why I went to San Diego State was I wasn't even going to go to college. And at the last minute, I was like, okay, I'm going to go. By then, the USC application process was closed. So then I researched who has the highest transfer rate into USC. Okay.

what college campus in California has it? And it was San Diego State. So San Diego State has counselors that tell you which credits will transfer over. So I took as many credits as I could at San Diego State to transfer over to USC. And were you sad when you left San Diego State? No, I was excited. I was ready for the world. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't expecting...

What do you want to call it? Like transfer blues. Like you get there, you're excited, but then damn, like where's your community at? Yeah. I think that's like how it's just like how it always feels like entering a new school. It's like going to a new school. It's the worst feeling in the world. Wait, where are you from? From the Bay Area. Oh, okay. Okay. So that's by San Francisco. Yeah. Okay. I'm really bad at geography. Sorry. So I grew up... I have an interesting childhood. I grew up in probably like...

I went to like hella schools. Like almost every year I was transferring. So when I transferred to USC, it wasn't that much of a shock. I just kind of like yearned for community. But I had really young parents. They were constantly moving. And I was sometimes living with other family members. But I primarily grew up in Hayward. I lived in San Jose, Palo Alto, Union City, and then in Minnesota.

middle school I briefly lived with my grandmother and Tracy for about a year and a half and then after that I relocated with my dad in Sacramento all of these cities are about one or two hours apart from each other and then after that I relocated to San Diego to go to San Diego State then I came here for college oh wow okay so you moved all over to California yeah yeah wow what I actually we recently didn't we just go to Sacramento yeah

It's like farmland up there. Yeah, it's definitely a B market city. What's a B market? It's a B or C. So I learned about this because when I was an aspiring musician, I'm like a research person. I just always love doing research. And I was looking at what cities are the best to be discovered in.

And I realized that L.A. is, of course, an A market city and San Diego is a B market city. So my chances of getting discovered was higher in L.A., which is why I wanted to relocate to USC. Wow. And you always knew you wanted to do music? Always. Always. When did you start writing? I started writing when I was about 13. I was a really quiet kid. So...

My way of expressing myself was through journaling and through poetry. And once I realized that music was just poetry over a beat, I was like, this is what I want to do. Yeah. Do you have like a favorite song you've written? Icy Girl. Me too. And the music video is so sick too. Thank you. We know we had no budget. It didn't look like you had no budget. It was great. Yeah, because I called in a lot of favors. Yeah. God, I love that song. Okay, well...

I always ask everyone this. What are you therapist about today? Like anything that just pissed you off. It literally can be so benign and so small, but it's a safe space to talk about things that you can. It's a safe space to complain. Do you want me to go first? Yeah. My body hair right now.

is really pissing me off. Really? Like, I hate it. And then, like, I also hate shaving it. And then I also hate going to get it waxed. So, like, I just hate that I have it. That's really what's bothering me. I hate feeling, like, furry. Furry? Yeah. That's what's really pissing me off. I also hate this heat. Maybe you could make a coat. I know. With my body hair? I probably could. Okay, I know what I'm therapist. Okay. I'm therapist that we don't have sushi right now.

I would have ordered your sushi. We could have ate. We could have did like a. A mukbang. A mukbang. Oh, yeah. I saw you do that with Bobby with the seafood boil. Yeah. You know, I've never had seafood boil. It always amazes me that people have never ate seafood boil. I saw that video. I looked at that and I looked at my friend Alice. I was like, why haven't we had this yet?

I'm going to see what I can do because I currently have a meal with boiling crab. Postmates? Yeah. Yeah. Let's see if I can send you something. Please. I am desperate. You did it with the boiling crab and Postmates, right? Yes. And is it like a seafood boil? Yes. Oh, wow. There's three different kinds. What's your favorite kind? I love crawfish. I like crab. And I like the hottest sauce. Yeah, I like it. Really? I like spicy too, yeah. Mm-hmm.

I do. I don't know how spicy I can go. I just did like this, like the first we feast thing. What's that? You know, like the hot ones thing? Oh, did you do that? I did the one below it.

I almost died doing hot ones. No, it... No, I couldn't see. Yeah, like I... No, because like the sauces that lead up to the hottest sauce, it's like, man, this ain't nothing. I think it's like the bomb or like the one... I forget. It's the last two. When I tell you...

I got, cause it builds up your confidence. Right. Man, I got this. Yeah. When I tell you I took a bite, I couldn't see. It was so hot. I couldn't see. And I was like, where's the milk at? Yeah. How long did you, did it burn after four? Maybe like 30 minutes. Fuck. It was a long burn. I, I remember for, I, since I did the one below it, they only gave me three hot sauces and like, they were like, you like can kind of choose whichever ones you want to start. So I went with the spiciest first by accident.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak. All your senses, all your abilities. I was coughing. My lips were burning. They were red and irritated. I wonder if that's a torture process somewhere. Probably. Torture processes scare me. Waterboarding? No thanks. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Okay. I don't know if this is an urban legend or true, but apparently there's this one where you lay down and...

This bucket of water does one drop of water on your forehead. I read about that. And you're like strapped down and it just over it and it makes you go insane apparently. I think I know why. Why? That's what your third eye is. What's your third eye? An extra sensory that we have in our body. You never heard of the pineal gland? Yeah, it's like where we get some of our intelligence from. Oh. Are you into astrology at all?

I read about it. What's your sign? What's your sign? I'm a Scorpio. You're a Scorpio? Yeah, what are you? I'm a Cancer. I knew you were a Cancer. Did she sing about it once? Yes. Yes, that's why I knew it. I knew it.

Do you know what your big three are? I knew it. I love your energy. Thank you. Do you know what your big three are? Yeah, it's scary. Mine's a scary two. Scorpio. He's Gemini. Gemini rising. Uh-huh. Gemini moon. Ooh, that's fun. It's fun, but it's like not fun for like those closest to me. I love it. Yeah. What's yours? I'm a Sag moon, a Taurus rising. I love Taurus. Yeah.

Oh, so that's why you come off so calm. Taurus are so calm and grounded. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. I don't know. I just kind of make shit up about astrology as I go along.

I think you, like, you know something. I know, like, cancers are, like, homebodies. I know Sagittarius love to party. See, I think that's where I get, like, my social skills from and my, like, yearning to, like, go out and be outside is my Sag moon. Otherwise, like, I know some cancers who don't like to leave their house at all. Yeah, because they're so addicted to being at home. Yeah. I like to be outside. Yeah. In the streets.

Yeah. Kind of fun. I, weirdly enough, like, have been hating going, like, leaving my house and, like, doing shit. But I actually just today...

Booked a flight to New York spontaneously for this weekend. I've never done that before. Really? I'm going for pride. Sounds like me. I've never done it before. I've never done like a last minute travel. It makes life worth living for. I know. That's what someone was like. You only live once. Just do it. I know. I'm very random. Yeah. Do you like being random and spontaneous? I do. My homegirls, it stresses them out, but they love it about me because if I go somewhere, I'm going to take them with them. Right. I'm like, pack your bags. We're going.

Somewhere. Right. Yeah. Do you have like a favorite spontaneous memory? Well, I have plenty. I remember, I mean, I knew I was going to the Philippines, so that's not really that spontaneous. I've never been to the Philippines. You would love it. The beaches are beautiful. I've heard. Oh, I remember one of my most viral photo shoots is I was hanging out with me and my photographer. Yeah.

And I was bored. I was in glam, so I looked good. And I was like, I got to go do something. So I took my skateboard to downtown, like in the middle of the night, like at 1 in the morning. And we shot pictures, like on a bridge, bright lights. And it was just super fun, cool, laid back. Just us two. My manager saw that I was posting online and was like freaking out. They're like, why are you down there with no seatbelts?

But it was fun. I'll send you the pictures. I want to see. Oh, I miss living in downtown sometimes. Did you live at the Lorenzo? Sorry, back to USC. What's wrong with me? It's okay, Gemini. I'm with you. Did you live at the Lorenzo all four years of college? I don't even know how I just got there. No, I actually didn't. I lived there for a year. And then I lived downtown.

And then after that, I lived in Northridge. Where's Northridge? Northridge is... Why do I know where that is? It's, like, way deep in the valley past Van Nuys. So I had, like, a 40-minute commute. Nice. So, wait, wait, wait. But, you know, I'm very calculated. So I was, like, I have to do my schedule around the times I have no traffic. So I started my days, like, around...

11 or 12 and the traffic wasn't that bad. Oh, great. Yeah. So it took you 40 minutes because with traffic, what, an hour and a half? Yeah. So when I would leave, sometimes it would take me about an hour or two hours to get home. Two hours? Yes. And, you know,

When I first moved to L.A., I would have so much anxiety when I would drive. So I'm just like, why is it taking me 40 minutes to get to somewhere that only takes 10 minutes if there's no traffic? But eventually get used to it. So I would listen to like podcasts, interviews, just so that I was feeding my mind while I was driving. So it felt like I was being conducive instead of just sitting there listening to music. So I found ways to like cope with that.

The stressfulness of traffic. That's why I could never. I don't drive. Oh, you don't? I can't. Oh, I love to drive, though. I know I would love it, but I also know I would crash. But you're a New Yorker, right? Yeah. Well, that makes sense. And my dad just was like, you can't ever get behind the wheel. No, I'm really good at driving. I think in a past life, I was a getaway driver. Really? Mm-hmm. When did you start driving? 16? No, in fifth grade.

Yeah. My dad taught me because he told me that's the age that he learned. So he would take me to parking lots. Sometimes if he was in the car, he'd let me drive. But yeah. Was that like fun as a fifth grader? Yeah, that was like our way of like having like time together and spending time with one another. Sweet. I wish my dad would let me drive. I don't think I still sit in the back seat. What? In my bag. I do. I do.

Oh, you are pampered. No, it's not. It's like coddled. It's like, I think they think I'm just a danger to myself and others. Like, I don't even remember how old I was when I got rid of the car seat. Like, I think I was old. Really? I think I was old. Like...

I think I was... I think it was like, dad, like, this is getting out of hand. But yeah, I can't drive. I would crash. Maybe you can teach me how to drive. I'll teach you. Yeah. We can do another series teaching you how to drive. You know, I almost... Before this podcast, I almost did Passenger Puss. Passenger Puss. And it was going to be this podcast, but different people like you teaching me how to drive. Oh, I like that. And then I filmed one episode with my roommates and...

It was too much. I think I watched it and I was like, is this literally just carpool karaoke? I was like, I don't think I can do this. I like therapists. I like therapists too. Yeah. Especially because I need it all the time. Are those real books? Are they real books? No, they're not. They all just say Abraham Lincoln on it. And then this one says, this one says George Washington on it. They're cool though. Yeah, they're cool. I didn't know they were real books.

Maybe for season two I should change up the books on here. No, I like it. You like it? Because it's like the juxtaposition of you being very colorful and fun, and then here's this room where it feels kind of serious. Yeah, like a professional therapist. Yeah. I like it. Okay, that just made me like it too. I didn't even think about that. Huh. You know what you're doing. Juxtaposition. I'm learning a bunch of new words today. Yeah.

Well, basically the premise of Therapus is it started from when I would ask the pussies, tell me what's wrong on my Instagram stories. And I would like give them like horrible advice. And like...

And like that was the premise of this. So they tell, they write in and they, they tell us what's wrong. Oh, what's wrong? And we prescribe them a remedy. Come on, puss, puss, puss. I know. My PR major is coming in handy. I love that for you. Have you heard my song, Pussy? You have a song called Pussy? Yes. Can someone play it? It's an acronym. Wait, I have heard this song.

But you know what? I have heard. Ooh, got the nanny, nanny, nanny. How she walk through slinging that body. Yeah, and who gonna stop me? You ain't got the time to clock me. I love that song. Thank you. My friend Peyton, whenever she wants us to go out, goes, plane, spinner, club, to the club, backdoor, section. What a great song that is. I remember hearing that on my For You page, and I was like, ooh!

I sent it to Peyton. I go, Peyton, Peyton, Peyton, Peyton, Peyton. She goes, oh my God. Oh my God. Like, you don't understand. It's our going out song. It's our pregame song. It's our Monday song. I love that. We love that fucking song. Thank you. Of course, you crushed it. You know what? Quickly before this, let me just ask you about...

Music. Do you have any plans to release any more music this summer, in the fall? What are your... Yes, I'm going to release a couple more singles. We're shooting a video for my next single in about a week or two. But it's more peeled back. It kind of reminds me of like...

my freestyle songs. My fans know, like, I've been trying to find, like, a happy medium between, like, my freestyle songs and my commercial songs because I feel like they're in two different worlds. Right. Like, if you listen to my freestyles, you're going to be like, that's not the same girl who's doing, you know, the radio songs. Right. And then when you listen to the radio songs, you're like, that's not the same girl doing the freestyle songs. Right. But I'm trying to find a balance, and I think I may have found it. Yeah.

Congratulations. Thank you. Are you excited to shoot the video? I'm excited. I'm actually going back to Sacramento to shoot it. Oh, awesome. Yeah, it's very peeled back, one look. And it's kind of just, so the song is called My Best. And I'm essentially saying like, you know, always do your best. And then just always try to do things that will eventually lead to doing your best. Like you may not always get it right, but as long as you do your best, like that can be fulfilling. Yeah.

I need that. I know that's right. I need that. When does it come out? We can bleep it, but I do want to know personally. Hopefully in a couple of weeks. I'm excited. Because it's not like a super glitzy glamour rollout. It's just literally just public messaging. Like, just try your best. I honestly think, like, in this day and age, like, glitzy glam rollouts, like... Mm-hmm.

You know, I feel like if the song works, it works. I agree. You know, just, and I feel like some people, like, you know, that's what I love. You just like, you just throw it out. Like you just put it out there, you know? And I love that. I think that's shows confidence in your art. And yeah. Thank you. Of course. Shall we get into some questions? Yes. I'm excited. Are you having fun? Talk to the pussies. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm so excited. I think you're going to have some really good advice. Oh, and so we'll prescribe them a remedy. So for example, like,

All these people from my past are reaching out for me, reaching out to me. I don't know how to, they weren't super nice to me in the past. What do I do? Oh my God. I prescribe you my best by sweetie because they don't deserve you at your best because they didn't take you at your worst. That is a Trojan. Yes. It's a victory.

My boyfriend gets mad about, oh my God, I didn't even do this on purpose. My boyfriend gets mad about my past all the time about what I did with other guys before I even knew him. How do I make him stop bringing up my past? I've never had a boyfriend, so help.

I absolutely, I absolutely do not like men like that. Yeah. Cause it's just like, we all have past and I feel like our past or the DNA for making us who we are today, whether it fits, you know, um, romantic relationships, friendships, any kind of relationships that we have with anyone. And if, you know, if you're outside and you're experimenting, especially with dating, you're going to have a past. You have to date people to see what you want to like, what you want. Right. Um,

I don't know. I would... I don't like him. I don't like that either because he has a past too. Yeah, I would... It's giving very insecure. It's giving insecure. I would prescribe a breakup. A breakup? I would prescribe The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift because it's giving like small dick energy. I know that's right. I would... Oh, I would... What's the song? Um...

My hands are so cold. Oh, okay. I prescribe Not Tonight by Lil' Kim. Okay. It's very bossy. It's kind of like, if you can't handle me, get away from me. And if you can't match me, get away from me. Not Tonight by Lil' Kim? Not Tonight by Lil' Kim. I'm going to give it a listen. Yeah. I love Lil' Kim. Me too. Yeah. Every time my roommate Sneaky Link comes over, he drunkenly pees the bed. Ew. Ew.

Every time my roommate's sneaky link comes over, he drunkenly pees the bed. Each time, she has to remove her entire mattress topper and leave it out to dry for two days just to have him come over and do it again. SOS. That's not your problem. That's like your roommate's problem. Shut up. Do people really be put like this? Yeah, you know what the sad part is. Change the locks. Move. I would put up with that.

If he was hot enough and like... That would turn me off. It would turn me off too, but I take what I can get at this point. No, we not doing that. No, we are valuing ourselves. I tried that for 24 years. It's okay. It's not working though. We don't talk. Okay. Yeah. I try so hard. I'm like, I get this roommate. Like...

Yeah, like I would probably do the same. I don't know what the roommate needs, like a talk. But like, I don't, when someone is down so bad for dick, like you can't like, you can't like, there's no getting through to them. They have like dick goggles. Like it's like, you know what I mean? They're hypnotized. Like there's no, I prescribe nothing. There's nothing, as long as he doesn't pee on your mattress,

But hold on. Okay. Because I done lived some lives. Uh-huh. There's going to be a point where she's going to grow out of this phase. A couple years are going to go by and she's going to look back and she's going to be like, why the fuck did I do that? Mm-hmm. We have to take the dick goggles off. I've been there before. It's just kind of like I look back and I'm like, sweetie girl, what was you doing? But, I mean, you live and you learn. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Some things are, you know how they say when they're like, that's a canon event? Mm-hmm.

A bad situationship is like that. I feel like it's just a canon event. Like damn peeing in the bay. Yeah, that is just foul.

I don't know. I mean, I just personally. Because I would feel like, I don't, I would feel like it's just giving little boy energy and I'd automatically just look at him like a bro. Like, you just peed on me. Like, that's something my younger sibling would have done as a baby. Like, you know? That's disgusting. I don't like it. Yeah. I just don't like it. I prescribe. No. I don't have the words for this one. I don't really, I don't have a prescription. I don't.

Do you? I prescribe a gospel song. No weapon against me shall prosper. Because that is a weapon and who would not be prospering in my house should not be prospering in their house. Uh-uh. That is disgusting and it's a no for me. That is a great prescription. Yes. Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Oh, God. Another situation ship. My situation ship, that's basically my boyfriend. Well, he's not. With no label. Just shaved his head.

It's true. With no label, just shaved his head and I'm so turned off by it. Like I can't just stop talking. Like I can't just stop talking to him because he shaved his head, right? I think you can. I mean, it's just a situation shoot. Oh my goodness. But it's crazy how like beards and hair is like the makeup version for men. I know. It's crazy. I've been trying to wear more makeup recently. You don't need it.

Thank you. I really wanted under eye filler today, but Louise vetoed it. No. For what? Everyone says it looks like I had either just finished crying or I don't sleep. Okay, so we're going to get you the 111 eye patches. 111 eye patches? 111 eye patches. Okay. They kind of like suck your pores in. Ooh.

And then you should get an IV every other week. Fill your body up. Get the vitamins going. And then just see how you feel. Okay. Okay. Do you have an IV person? You definitely don't need it. But yes, I do. Okay. Yeah, no fillers for you. Okay, we'll talk. Yeah. What do I prescribe for this? He shaved his head. I don't know. End the situation-ship. I mean, he's not your boyfriend. So you say. I prescribe Get Out by JoJo. I love that song! Love that song. Please get out.

Right now, it's the end of you and me. It's too late. I can't wait for you. Hi, I know you're big into astrology. What does it mean that most guys in my life are Sagittarius? As a Cancer, what sign should I look for? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's above my pay grade. I don't know. As a Cancer, what sign do you... Oh, wait.

I'm a Cancer. What signs do you look for? I prefer water and fire signs. Okay. According, dating to my history, I like, yeah, fire, fire and water. Okay, so we prescribe you a fire sign or a water sign. And a Sag is a fire sign. Cancer is? No, Cancer is water, right? No, Sag is a fire sign. Sag is. Yeah, what she said, she said most of the,

What does it mean at most? Okay, so she, you're with fire signs. What does that mean? No, so she, maybe switch it up and go for like a Pisces or a Scorpio. Wait, but it says, what does that mean? She said, what sign should I look for? Oh. So you're looking in the right places. You have the fire signs in your life, but maybe try a water sign. See, try it out. Yeah, I feel like fire signs, according to my dating history, fire and water. They don't mix? No, they do mix. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm.

I don't have a dating history, so I, as you know by now, I don't. Okay. I'm snapping, snapchatting, slash hanging out with two guys in the same friend group, and I don't want them to catch on. I love her. I like one more than the other, but they both give me attention. One is attentive in person, but leaves me undelivered for hours. The other snaps me within seconds, and we talk all day, but is the most awkward person ever. Which one do I ghost?

Goes to the awkward one. Wait, what is it again? She's saying she's talking to two guys in the same friend group. One is really bad on his phone, but great in person. One is great on his phone and horrible in person.

I mean, look, your relationship isn't going to be on the phone, so... Right. I agree with you. I prescribe the guy that gives you attention in person. Yeah, because you know what I don't like? I don't like when someone's a good time on the phone, and then when you link with them, it's just like crickets. Oh, my God, me. Oh, my gosh, one time? Are you serious? Like...

I could get freaky over text and then show up and be like, wait, uh-uh. But you know what has been the best for me in awkward moments is just owning them. Yeah. Yeah, because it's just like they're not expecting you to own them. So when you do own them, it's just kind of like,

Okay. So true. Because I feel like in this culture, in this society, we always try to like think of, you know, the witty comebacks or, you know, the troll comebacks. Sometimes just tell the truth. Yeah. That's the best advice I've gotten in years.

An ex-situationship. God, everyone's just in a situationship this summer but me. An ex-situationship just started texting me again. He cheated on past girlfriends and is very promiscuous. I know I don't want anything with him, but he's hot and it's actually brat summer. Do I continue for the plot or cut it off? Those are dangerous. Yeah. Those are the people who, because I'm going to tell you something. There's a psychology in this.

So you end up like dealing with these promiscuous people and you're so cool. But because you're so cool, they're attracted to that. They're thinking that, oh, this person is okay with like my lifestyle. They eventually start to show like...

Relationship habits. Right. And you guys are thinking, you guys are getting into this relationship, this situation. You end up falling in love with these people, but then they're still going to be them. Right. And then here you are. It's not for fun anymore. Like, your heart's involved. I feel like that's playing with fire. I agree. And I think, I know you said it's brat summer, but it's not brat summer if you're heartbroken. So...

Stay away. Yeah, those are the type of people you have to see like once every couple of months. You know what I prescribe? What? John Tucker Must Die. Oh. Just to show you what like an asshole looks like. Okay. I want to go watch that. I got to rewatch it. Like I see bits and pieces in my head. It's one of my favorite movies.

What's your favorite movie? I would say like Pan's Labyrinth. I've never seen Pan's Labyrinth and I want to. Yeah, I really like that director. He did The Shape of Water, Pan's Labyrinth. Yeah, he's great. And I like The Matrix. I went through a big Matrix phase when I was a kid. I just binge watched the whole series. Did you re-watch, was it? You should. It's really good. It's really enlightening too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever seen The Devil Wears Prada?

Yes, of course I have. That's my favorite movie. That's what I put on my USC application. Really? Yeah. How'd you put it on your USC application? They asked me, what's your favorite movie? Really? Yeah. They didn't ask me that. Because there was like three supplements. Uh-huh. The college essay. I think, I don't even know. Because I applied in 2018 and it probably changed. But I just remember watching that when I was a kid and seeing her quit that job because all her friends and her shitty boyfriend made her feel bad about it. And I was like,

That will never be me. Do you feel like she quit it because people felt shitty about it? Or do you feel like she quit because she was standing up for herself? You know, I don't know. But she... It was just...

I mean, maybe I was just jaded because like that was like the lifestyle that was like aspirational to me. Right. And maybe like, so I forget that like the Anne Hathaway we met at the beginning of the movie isn't the one that like she didn't, she became someone that wasn't her. I forget. I always forget that. But you know, I liked, she looked like super cunty and like I liked her look and I was like, no, don't leave. Like, but I guess she did. I don't know. I don't know. I was always like that will literally never be me.

Because as Lady Gaga says, your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn't love you anymore. I know that's right. That's my favorite quote of all time. I love that. Yeah. Hey, Jake and beautiful guest. So I like this guy and he lives 30 minutes away. So I would be forced to Uber to him. Is it really worth it? Yes. I've Ubered so far. If he's paying for it. Okay. Yeah. Or that. Yeah. Because I'm not going to be paying to come see you. Totally. Yeah. I told you it's rough out here.

I've paid. Like one time, want to hear the craziest story? I actually can't believe I'm telling this story. Are you ready for this? Yes. I was talking to this guy. It was my junior year of college. And he was like, come over. And I thought we were going to go on a date. I was like obsessed with him. Like I might have told this story before. I don't really know. And he was like, you know what? Like just come over. Like let's hang. I like didn't think anything of it. So I went over like 2 p.m. on a Monday during college.

obviously sucked his dick and then he was like okay you have to go yeah you need I wish I was your friend I know and I was like really and he was like yeah and he was like you I have a busy work day all right you gotta go like on his phone and I called myself an uber and left had to call my grandma and wish her happy birthday in the car on the way home too yeah

I don't like people like that. Neither do I. How dare, how dare him? I know, and you know what? I would have done it again. You be asking for this. I know. I'm starting not to feel bad for you. I know, but I'm so desperate. You desperate or you like the thrill of it? It's a difference.

We are getting to the bottom of a lot of things today. Why does my boyfriend have Snapchat saved in chat with another girl? And when he had his grad party, the same girl swiped up and replied, coming, but spelt it in a rather naughty way. Oh, your boyfriend's cheating on you. He's cheating, though. I assume if she told him he was coming, C-U-M-I-N-G, to his party and he has chat saved from her, he's not even trying to hide it from you at this point.

Yeah, it's time to find a new man. It's just time to... Not find a new man. It's time to just let go of that man. Yeah. Are you ready? I honestly just want to put... I think we should play a game with him. You want to play a game? Okay, we're back. I think... No, she... The audacity of him to bring that...

To bring his sneaky link to a grad party. If she has time, she should play a little game. What game would you play? You know, like the ones that you see in the movies. Like, become friends with the girl. Set them up. Do something. Uh-huh. Yeah. Like, John Tucker must die. Yeah. They all get together and they all, like, take down John Tucker. Because of the audacity. Or have you ever seen the movie The Other Woman? Cameron Diaz, Nicki Minaj, Kate Upton. No.

I saw it. I don't remember it. It's great. Okay. Similar vibe to John Tucker. I also prescribe The Other Woman. Okay. Or any movie where the women get together and take down the man, except this girl seems to know that you guys are together, so maybe try to fuck her over a bit too. Damn. But then, so I'll be caught in between, is that what we do, or do we take the high road, and do we just remove our energy and just focus on other things in life? That. Okay. We should do that. Okay, let's do that. Let's do that. You can take out the other part.

I honestly just want a boyfriend, but I also want to be a slut at the moment. But I am also too scared and awkward for any kind of intimacy. Sweetie! Contradictions. I think, but I don't know. I'm confused. Am I asexual? No. I love men, but I'm also scared. LOL. I have the same problem. So, sweetie, can you help? Can you do that one more time? Here, do you want to? Yes.

Because I have this same problem. I honestly just want a boyfriend, but I also want to be a slut at the moment. But I also am too scared and awkward for any kind of intimacy. I think, I don't know. I'm confused. Am I asexual? No, I love men, but I'm also scared. The pussies are intense.

Pussies. Oh, my gosh. It sounds like she has to take it slow. Like, how do you want to be a slut, but then you're awkward for any kind of intimacy? That's me. Oh, you're a mental slut. Yeah, like, I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable naked. Why? I don't know. I don't know. I just don't, like, feel comfortable. Why don't you feel comfortable? I don't know. I think because the gay community is very, like...

Like a lot of gay men have very like washboard abs and like they're very like, I don't know, I don't feel comfortable naked. Do you know what the best kind of body is? What? A confident body. I know. That's what everyone always says to me. It takes work. It takes time. Yeah. But then it's dangerous because once you become confident, you're like, I want. Yeah, I know. I want to be a slut. I am.

Do you know the song Naked by LMI? No. That song helped my friend a lot. So maybe... LMI, I'm going to look that up. Yeah, maybe. I think it's by LMI. Can you double check that for me? When you get down to the root of everything, like why you feel the way you feel, they're honestly just a projection from other people. But then you're wondering why are those people projecting? They're projecting because they're insecure. Yeah. They're not confident. I just like...

It's by LMI? LMI, yeah. Yeah. I just will never forget back to remember when I said my body hair was pissing me off? I used to never care about it. And then I was hooking up with this guy. I was 20 years old and he was like, if we're going to continue hooking up, you need to shave your entire body. Like I hate body hair. And ever since then, I'm like, okay, I hate body hair. I guess it's just like little niblets of things that have been like said to me. Right. I don't know.

But I am working on the confidence. I work out a lot. We both go to Aloe. Yes. Oh, you go to Aloe. Yes. Should we go together? We should. You want to go next week? Am I in town next week? If I'm in town, I'd like to go. I actually haven't been in two months. Oh. I went to the event last night. Uh-huh. And they're like, where have you been? I'm just like, on a plane. Yeah. Okay.

Let's go. Let's do Pilates with Laura. Oh, she be kicking my ass. Me too. I love her though. Me too. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. That'll be a good time. So, sweetie, what did we learn today? We learned that you have an army full of octopuses. We learned that the best body is a confident body. We learned...

That people is really going through some shit in the world. Because those are some outrageous situations to be in. I know. Those are the least of it. But you know, also, there's a philosophy that the universe gives you what you accept. What do you mean by that? If you're constantly accepting these kind of situations and these situationships and what we've seen in those note cards, the universe will continue to present.

and moments like that. But if you put your foot down and if you're disciplined, you'll eventually get something better. Okay. I've learned that Saweetie is my new therapist. I've learned that those who don't take you at your worst don't deserve you at your best, which is also Saweetie's next song. Yes. It's coming out very soon. And I learned that...

Best body is a confident body. I think you're a lot of fun and you have good energy. Thank you. You have phenomenal energy. I feel like somebody's going to appreciate that. I hope.

Well, sweetie, thank you for coming on Therapist. Thank you for having me. I hope you had fun. I'd love for you to come back anytime. Of course. Therapize my life. Might see you in the car at Aloe. Absolutely. At the sushi spot. At sushi. Let's do Aloe then to sushi for lunch. Will you give before you leave? Uh-huh. Pussies a little. Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. And then a little tense up.

Tense up. Tense up. Yes, sweetie. I love you. Hi, pussies. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookie.