Session 16: Brett Runs the Boston Marathon
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Surprise episode! We really wanted to put Bratz' marathon send-off episode out before her marathon, obviously, and this was...

the time that really worked and we thought, oh my God, for such a special episode, why not give it such a special surprise release? You know, we've never done a Friday release before, but if you guys like it, maybe we'll start doing a little more, filming a little more, but we are sending Brett off to the marathon that none of us can run, but her, I still don't know how people do it. Come on to you. Um,

I'm very, very proud of her. Obviously proud is an understatement. She's going to crush it. It's going to be amazing. By the time you guys will be watching this, I will be in the desert for Coachella. So here are my predictions. I think by this time Friday, I will have tried on my day one outfit and cried.

Because it will have looked really bad. I think my spray tan, I think I'm going to shave my face Friday for day one of Coachella. And with it, my spray tan, half of my spray tan on my face is going to come off. So I'm probably going to be very upset about that as well. But I'm going to be with my girls. So if we're watching this, girls, right now, hey, girls. And hey, Gayle, hey, John. The two boyfriends are coming on the trip. We're very excited about that. You know.

Every good girl group needs a good pair of boyfriends. Am I right? Tonight, I am going to see Lana Del Rey and Peggy Gu. We are so excited for that. Hopefully, we'll go to a little party after. But, you know, I won't be mad if we don't. I'm down to just hang out with my girls back at the house and go do a little night swimming. Ooh, that actually sounds awesome. Lana's performing, I think, at like 11.30 p.m., which I'm like so down for. I love a really late set like that.

But yeah. So if any of you pussies are at Coachella right now, I will see you at Coachella later. I'm very, very excited. Hopefully I don't look ugly in my outfit like I am predicting that I do right now. Okay, I'm calling Alice to give her Friday prediction for Coachella. Alice? Okay, so I'm recording Therapist right now. Say hi to the pussies. Hi, pussies. So by the time this episode comes out,

We're going to be at Friday of Coachella. Do you have a prediction for what your vibe is going to be? Do I have a prediction for what my vibe is going to be? Do you want to hear what mine was first? A disaster? No, no. I said by the time that you guys watch this, I probably would have tried on my first outfit and cried. By the time this airs, I think all of our spray tans will be streaking down our bodies. Ha ha ha!

And we're going to be panicking before the festival. We're going to be sweating and crying and panicking. Pussies, for those who don't know, this is Alice's debut on Therapist. And it's so fitting that it's over the phone because she's been a little shy to come on. But I think... I'm a shy girl. I think this is important that this is a first step, Alice. Do you want to say anything else? I agree. Hi, pussies. I'm really excited to make an appearance one day. Do you know when that day will be? No. No, baby, no. No.

Okay, before I let you go, do you need one? I need a few. I have a few in my backpack. I promised Nolan one. Nolan said he needs two. Nolan said he needed two. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So I have one more left for you. Just save me one. I'll save one, but we might have to cut it in half.

Okay, pussies. Love you. And as a reminder, submit Tell Me What's Wrong to PassThatPuss.com and send me your name and number if you so choose. I love calling you guys. Okay. Enjoy the episode. Love you, pussies. Hi, pussies. Welcome back to Therapist. And today, we have the queen of working out and running herself, Bratz Bites. Hey. Hey, Bratz. This is a long time coming. Oop. Well. Oop.

It is. It is. But what other perfect time to send you off to your marathon? There is literally no perfect time. Did I ever even tell you I wasn't coming to? No. But it's okay. Boston's far. Boston's far. And you guys were so supportive and amazing during LA last year. So it's totally fine. Well, so we're sending you off to the marathon. You're running the Boston Marathon. I'm running the Boston Marathon. Are you so excited? I'm so excited. I'm also so nervous. I'm shitting my pants because it's a really hard marathon. But yes, I'm very excited.

Well, do you have like a goal time or do you not want to share that? Well, okay. I can't outwardly share it because I'm like superstitious. Okay. I just want to run similarly to how I ran LA, I'll say. So like around my LA time would be amazing. Not to sound like really stupid, but is the Boston Marathon longer than the LA Marathon? No, all marathons are the same length.

That's like common sense, I fear. Are you serious? I'm serious. All marathons are 26.2 miles. Oh. But the courses are different. So Boston's a harder course. Right. Than LA. What do you mean? Boston's like, it's hilly. Ew. It's like at mile 21, there's this huge hill called Heartbreak Hill. It's called Heartbreak Hill. Do people drop out?

Uh, probably, but like most people like don't. How are you going to do that? I actually don't know. I don't know. I like don't know how people would do that. Mile 21 too. So there are like four major hills, mile 21, heartbreak hill. It's like notorious, whatever. It like sucks. It's like almost a mile long of a hill.

So, yeah. I don't know how I'm going to do it, to be honest. And we have a tradition. At least it's only happened once, but it's going to happen again. For the LA Marathon, we went out and we stayed up all night into Brett's Marathon. Yeah. Yeah. I got a FaceTime from Jake. We FaceTimed them at five in the morning. Yeah. From none other than Overpass. Yeah, they were out. And we were like, girl, we're so proud of you, girl. Yeah.

And I was getting ready to run. Brett was like, thawing. And that was a great day. It was an amazing day. You were so tired after. I was so tired. I was so happy. I ran so much faster than I thought I would. I know. Remember, we were like, oh, my God. Well, I actually, sorry, was not keeping in tune with how fast you were going. But I remember that you had hit a certain mile faster than, way faster than anyone expected you to. Yeah. Because we were with your sister. We were with Elle. And Elle was like, oh, my God. Elle was like, oh, my God, she hit it fast. Mm-hmm.

That was such a fun day. That was such a fun day. You guys were the best. That was fun. So supportive and amazing. Girl, when I show up, I show out. So true. You really are that friend. That if you're there...

If you're there, you're showing up and out. And you did. If you guys aren't aware, every single night, Brett makes these things called dessert bowls. And will you explain to the pussies who don't know? I'm sure a bunch of you do. But will you explain to the pussies who don't know what exactly a dessert bowl is? Yes. Should I talk to the camera? It's like Chipotle for bowls. Yeah, it is Chipotle for bowls. Oh, wait. For dessert bowls. Yeah, it's Chipotle for dessert, kind of.

Yeah. Okay, whatever. Okay, so, Zerples are always, is it weird that I'm talking to the camera? No. Okay. So, you're talking to the pussies. Okay, I'm talking to the pussies. It's always, like, just an assortment of sweets, because I'm the biggest sweet tooth, and, like, why just decide on one thing? And I've been making them forever. Like, forever. And one day, I randomly was just like, oh, I'm gonna, like, film what I put in it, because I would always post them on my stories, but I was like, oh, I'll throw up a TikTok. And, like, randomly, it, like, did really well. And so, I was like, oh.

Like, oh, like, I guess I'm the dessert bowl girl now. So, but I literally have been making them forever. Always some sort of salty base, like a rice cake or popcorn. Base. Base. And, yeah, like, they're just, they're the best. And I love that so many people love them now. It's amazing. Should we make one? Yes. Okay. Okay. Where's your popcorn? Right here. Are we starting? Yeah, we're starting. Should I bring out everything we have? Yes. Okay. Okay.

We're having Tate's Cookie Bark. Pretzels. I've been eating those, by the way. Of course. Jake eats all my food. All my food. I open the pantry. Something's gone. It's my fault. I ate something the other day, and I literally forgot to tell you. Undercover quinoa, obviously. Undercover quinoa. These are really good. You got to send these. Ooh, Tony's. Okay. They're amazing. Reese's. Yum. And then...

Thin Mints. Thin Mints. Sorry, I like brought a lot of stuff. Oh, no, it's okay. An assortment of chocolate. Okay. Obviously, lilies, baking chips. I don't know if you like, do you like those? I hate caramel. And then these you like because I got sent these as PR and Jake ate every single bag while I was out of town. I used to like that flavor when I drank them. You put me onto these. I did. You put me onto these. Brett was like, I got this random PR sent to me and it was Fast Twitch.

It was like an early PR for me too. Do you remember that one week where I got so much PR? Our old apartment was just boxes of Jake's PR because it was when he first blew up and he actually got sent something from I think every brand that exists. Right. Genuinely. And he didn't take anything out ever. So the apartment became a warehouse. Right.

I don't know. There was a box that was like piled to the ceiling. Do you remember that, Lou? It was insane. I think, well, we need to send you photos of the apartment to put into this episode. But that apartment, like, I don't even know how to begin to describe that apartment. It, it like wasn't real. It, we lived in squalor. What?

We literally lived in squalor. Like, we ate out every single night, not by choice, but by because, like, we could not cook in that place. You couldn't even, like, walk around at one point. You couldn't walk around. It was so bad. No, no, no. Jake got sent PR from, I think, every luggage company that existed. And there were, like, ten pieces of luggage just empty around the apartment. There was the base. There was the away. Uh-huh. Paraval or whatever. Paraval. There was the Ramoa. Ramoa. They didn't send me anything. Well. Well.

What's your favorite luggage? I'm a Romo girlie. You know, it's actually Romova, I'm pretty sure. Oh, Jesus Christ. You know who taught me that? Who? Hannah. Yeah. Obviously. And you know what else? Brett's going to start slipping that in. What? We're going to be like, yeah, my Romova. She's going to, I'm going to take the Romova. And then we're going to be like, when did you start calling it that? She's going to be like, well, it is.

Yeah. One thing about me is I'm always pronouncing things a little bit strangely, even if it's correct. No, or correct, but like too correct. Yeah. For example, Brett's the first person to teach me that it's not Porsche, it's Porsche. Yeah. Because freshman year of college, she'd be like, what a beautiful Porsche. Yeah.

I know. Porsche? But I still say Porsche sometimes. No, you don't. Okay. You say Porsche. Well. And then there's other things you pronounce like that too. Yeah. Let's make these damn dessert bowls. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to start with my popcorn base. And then because I like a salty moment, I'm going to put some pretzels in.

So I'm doing a base of popcorn with some pretzels. Brett is doing... I'm doing some undercover quinoa because this is my favorite thing ever. I brought us Reese's. Okay, I love. Love. Undercover quinoa, huh? Yeah, it's really good. So is it... It's chocolate covered quinoa. That's clever. Right? I'm putting in some dark chocolate undercover quinoa. Brett, what are you putting in? Some Lily's gummy worms.

Oh my God, this undercover quinoa, I'm already obsessed. Really? Have you never tried? I love dark, wait, oh my God. Have you never tried? I've never had a dessert bowl. Really? Ever. Are you sure? I'm positive. I've never had a dessert bowl. That's insane. Oh, what is that? This is- No, that. This? Yeah. It's a Tate's cookie bark. Ooh! Okay, so I put in some popcorn, some-

pretzels, some undercover quinoa, and now I'm going to do some taste cookie bark. What are you doing, Brett? Okay, so this is one of our limited recipes. It's frango mint chocolate covered caramel crisp. Oh, whoa. It's fucked up good. Have you not tried? No.

I need to. Julia and Alice like it. Yeah, they ate all. They remember Peyton got here and there was like nothing left. Yeah. Oh, I need to show her this tin though. I pick out the chocolatey pieces because that's what I like to do. Will you put some in my bowl, please? Yes. Just a tad. I would appreciate. I'm going to be done. You're done with your DB? I think I'm done with my DB. Okay. I'm like feeling really excited about my dessert bowl. Louise, have you ever made a dessert bowl? Like I've honestly always watched his quinoa things. Okay.

Okay, normally I would do the gummies, but you know how I feel about gummy worms. Like, that's like one of my things. I feel like I only like gummy bears. I thought you ate all the gummy worms. No, that's why there's only gummy worms left. I thought you ordered them off Amazon for me. Yeah, I ordered gummy bears and gummy worms came. Okay, ready? I'm going to do a little taste test. Okay, do a taste test. First, I'm going to try the undercover quinoa. Sly. Isn't it good? Brett Jody! Right?

The Brat Elizabeth Trotty. It's everything. Okay, and then I'm going to juxtapose it with a popcorn. Okay. Yeah, you have to do the sweet and salt. It's going to be like ASMR. Okay. That's a sly. This is the one I'm most excited about. The Tate's Cookie Crisp. It's fucked. Every night I eat these. Really? Wait, I don't know why I just said really. You're knowing. One thing about me, though, is I'm not knowing. So true. Don't listen.

Never listen. One thing about Jake, he knows nothing about anyone's life. Bitch. You're right. I'm so, like, you're knowing kind of, but, like, not really. I just lost my DB genity. Mm-hmm. Wait, I'm, like, kind of addicted. Sorry, it's the best. Mm. It's the best. Mm. Mm. Right? Great. Like, yeah, bitch, I ate that DB. Mm-hmm. That's eating. Mm-hmm.

What were we talking about? How I don't listen? Yeah. What would you say is the biggest thing that you were like, holy fuck, how did you not listen to me when I said that? Oh my God. There are like so many things. I'm trying to think of like the craziest one. Do you remember any? Of course not. I feel like one time I was like talking about like. Oh my God. It's on the tip of my tongue.

You said something and I said, who is that? And you looked at me as if I had just murdered your family. Yeah. Who? Oh, it was. We can bleep it out. It was my. This was like, this is like a friend of mine who like, we've been friends now for like almost two years. I would say like a hefty two years. A hefty two years. And like, she's not like a bestie bestie, but like, she's a good friend. Like, I've met her. Oh no, I've met her. I've been hearing about her. Hearing. And.

Brett said something and I said, well, who is blank? And she said, what the fuck did you just say to me? Because this was like two months ago. This is like one of my friends. No, yeah. But the thing is, once you were like, it's blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh my God, of course I know blah, blah, blah. Yeah. You just like, it wasn't clicking. It wasn't clicking. It wasn't clicking. I think I have really bad ADHD. Yeah, I thought we were knowing that. Okay. Well. Okay. Well. Do you have any diseases?

Or illnesses, sorry. Not diagnosed. Okay, what do you like think that you have in your head? I'm definitely having some anxiety. Tell them, this is new for you. It's new for me. In the last like year and a half, I would say, it's gotten really bad.

But I go to therapy once a week. Your therapist is amazing. My therapist is the best. Nicole, love you. Yeah, she's amazing. She's amazing. I've never met her, obviously, because that would breach patient-client confidentiality. But I have heard so much about you, girl. What's her name? Nicole? Nicole.

You actually popped up on her Instagram reels and she was like, I think I saw Jake. Shut up. And I was like, yeah. Shut up. And she was like, I think this is the Jake that's Brett's roommate and best friend. Which video was it? I don't know. I didn't ask. Oh. But I was like, yep, that's him. I know. Isn't that cute? My stomach hurts. You had like three bites. You're being dramatic. I know, but I, it's the, is there dairy? I definitely just had some dairy in those cookies. You eat dairy all the time. I know, but it always hurts my stomach.

Okay. Okay. What's the most annoying thing I do? You interrupt all the time and like change the subject. We will be in a full blown conversation and Jake will be like, is this funny? And like shove my, shove his phone in my face. And I'm like, I'm literally talking to Julia about something serious. Yep. And you're like, or we'll, we'll be in like a group message and we'll be having a

blown conversation about like it's not always serious but like sometimes and Jake will just like send something like random like not related like for example last week he like sent a picture of a shopping bag and was like just buy

Like, whatever. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Oh, my God. It was the Isabel Moran best. Yes. Oh, my God. And I just interrupted you. Continue. Of course. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, you make everything about yourself. And he said, well, respectfully, I hadn't read any of the text, so I didn't technically, like, make it about myself. And I go, that's literally the issue. Yes. That's the issue at hand. Yeah. Do you ever, like, sit and be like, what do Jake and I talk about during the day? Yeah. Because we spend...

Every day together. Every single day. Every day. Oh, Brett. What? I even asked you what you're therapist about this week. Oh. Let's play therapist, but like you tell me what you're pissed off about with me this week. With you? Yeah. Hmm. That's like easy. Yeah. But like you haven't really done anything to piss me off I don't think this week. Okay, so is there anything that pissed you off this week?

I'm, like, really trying to think. Like, not really. This week has been kind of nice for me. I also agree that this week has been so nice for you. Right? You've been in such high spirits. Yeah. It went by really slow. Oh, my God. It's Friday. I will say. Yeah, it's Friday now, but...

But I haven't been like super, I mean, my therapy session on Tuesday was amazing. Okay. I skipped therapy this week. I know you did. So I think that that, that contributed to like the good vibe of this week. Okay. Um, do you ever like take her advice all the time? You can't really, nope. You can't really at all. You're, I feel like you're a difficult patient to therapize. Is that a word? Yeah. Tell me why.

Because I don't think you really take your therapist's advice. No, of course not. You're very stubborn in your ways, and I fear your coping mechanisms aren't your strong suit. Ate me up. What's the coping mechanism you're referring to? When something goes wrong, like...

But I literally was like, you are so absurd. Okay, let's get into the tell me what's wrong. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Oh my God, I'm reading this one right now and I'm so grateful that we've actually never had this experience. At least not in our current friend group, we've never had this experience. Really? Yes, I don't think so. Okay.

One of the girls in my friend group is a severe liar. She lies about literally anything and everything. It gets to the point where we actively catch her out in a lies probably three times a day. What should I do? Have we ever been friends with a liar like that? No, but I know someone like that. Do you actually? It's not one of our friends. Can you whisper it to me?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Biggest liar. Biggest. Like all the time. All the time. It's insane. I don't know how these people exist genuinely. Right. Because it's like, how do you keep up with all your lies? Do they even care when they get caught out? Like, no, because it doesn't stop them. It's the weirdest thing. If we had a liar in our friend group, I think I would literally just be like, you're fucking lying. You're lying all the time. You're lying. Yeah. Like, I would say like, we do a lot of shit, but we don't lie.

- Yeah, we don't lie. - We don't lie. - We don't lie. - We really don't lie. And like Louise, would you agree? - Yeah. - She doesn't agree. - You think we lie? - I don't think we lie. I think that sometimes like truth is bad.

No, we don't lie. Like I, we don't lie to each other. Like, no, no, not to each other. No. So like if we had a friend group in our, if we had a liar in our friend group, like I think we would literally be like, you need to stop lying or like, I can't hang out with you anymore. I don't think like we could be friends with them to be honest. That's crazy. Lying is crazy. Yeah. What is so funny? Lying's insane. Is the call coming from inside the house or something? What does that mean? Like it's, are we the liars? I don't think we lie. Yeah.

I don't think we lie either. To be fair, the Josh Richards episode, there's literally a clip of you saying you know who somebody is and then you were saying, oh, I just lied. Okay, but that's my point. I can't lie. I can't lie. Like, if I lie, I'm like, wait, I'm sorry I lied. Yeah. Or you'll, like, lie for fun. And you're like, this is so fun. Remember when you did that bit on TikTok early on? Like, lying for fun. Oh, when I was like, Target's closing nationwide. Just kidding. Yeah.

So what would I, like, I don't know what we would, okay, so obviously we're going to prescribe to you Big Fat Liar. Of course. Have you ever seen Big Fat Liar? Of course. Okay, well, I haven't. Really? So right then and there is a lie. With Paul Giamatti or whatever. Yeah, sweet. Wow, Gret. I know. Gret. Gret. Gret. Sorry, Garrett, Brett. I love when I strike a good one with her.

Because what did you say? You said, I hate you so much because I can never be mad at you because you're what? The funniest person I know in the world. In the world. So funny. Okay, so what should you do? She lies three times a day. That's what I like to call an addiction. I would like stop being friends with her. I would stop being friends with them. How can you? First of all, you can't trust her with anything because if she says I'm not going to tell someone, she's probably lying. Yeah. Yeah.

That sounds exhausting though. I'm sorry. I think you got to have a sit down talk with her. Cut. And if she doesn't admit to it, if she admits to it and is like, I have a problem, we can find some sympathy there. But I think if she doesn't admit to it, then that's like, okay, like I can't, I need to protect my peace. You're lying to me. Everything's every step of the way. Yeah. Or just like, just start like asking for receipts on like everything she says. She's a liar. She doesn't keep receipts. And they all talk on Snapchat these days.

So true. I forget about that. Me too. So fucking weird. So we prescribe Big Fat Liar and we prescribe Intervention. Intervention. Yeah. Maybe the show Intervention. I've been at an all-girls school for the past 10 years of my life. Next year, my school combines with an all-boys school. My friends and I have barely talked to guys, but we really want to have a guy-girlfriend group next year. But we don't know how to reach out without being creepy. How do we make guy friends? Aww. We don't have guy friends. I have guy friends. You have a boyfriend.

And I have my boyfriend's friends. Okay, so one thing about us is, like, we are an all-girlfriend group. Yeah. Besides me. Like, we are an all-girlfriend group. Like, a lot of people in college, like, they had, like, they would, like, like, let's just be real for a second. Like, they would have guys over for dinner. Like, we wouldn't do that. We wouldn't. We wouldn't do that. And you know what? Like, I would say that's maybe because guys didn't want to come over. Yeah.

I think so too. Yeah. I think so too. We didn't have many guy friends. Like we were just like, we're like a girlfriend group. Yeah. Well also like to be fair in college, a lot of the time it was you, me and Julia. Yeah. Doing nothing. Most of the time. Do we have, like we don't have like a friends type group. No. How I met your mother type group. No. We don't have that. That's like Max's friend group and it's crazy to me. Isn't it amazing? It's amazing. What's wrong with us? I don't know.

Why don't we have guy friends? I don't know. I don't think it's an us problem. Really? Who's us would it be? I don't know. I don't know. But like, it's just like, it's just not, it's never been our vibe.

I feel like. I also feel like we're just, like, so... We just love one another. We just love one another. We don't need boys. And, like, we need pop stars. Yeah. Specifically Taylor Swift. Exactly. That's, like, kind of, like, what we have. Yeah. And then we have the boyfriends of the friend group's friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So... So we've never had guy friends. But, like, I had some guy friends, like, earlier. Like, I'm assuming they're, like, eighth graders probably and they're going to, like, a co-ed high school. Okay. So, like, in that sense, like...

I don't think you need to like force it. I think that you just kind of got to like go to high school and like be with your girlies and it'll happen and it'll happen. Like there's not really a way to go about it. It's just awkward because she's like, how do I reach out without being creepy? It's obviously not going to be creepy, but guys are pigs. And like if you reach out to a guy, they're like always going to, I feel like they're, am I wrong? I feel like they're always going to think it's romantic. Yeah. Oh, you, you disagree. You would have guy friends.

You fucking would. How many guy friends did you have? Was it like legit split in half of your friend group? Yeah. She totally was in one of those big guy girlfriend groups. What was I going to say? Guy girlfriend group. How do you reach out without being creepy? Guys are pigs. I think you just got to like let it go. Just like let it happen. Let it happen. Let it happen. I like don't know what it's like to platonically...

It's normally, I feel like pretty natural. I'm trying to think of like a guy that we like have around that we're always like, okay, that's a platonic person to every single person in the friend group. Really think about it, girl. And there can be a boyfriend. Yeah. Do we have, oh, I have one, but it literally doesn't count because we don't hang out with them. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's a good one though. That's a good one. Yeah. Brayden. Yes. Spencer Wardwell. Nope. Doesn't count for me. Doesn't count for me. I'm in love with him. Okay.

Justin Calvary, I'm like so in love with him. Like I can't control it. You are so in love with him. Okay, so Brayden. Brayden. Okay, should we do a guy friend counter as we do this? Okay, Brayden. Brayden. Like let's think about college. Brayden. I like don't know. Who was like a friend to like all of us? All of us. Equally, we can call FaceTime. Well, I couldn't FaceTime. I was going to say t*** like now.

It doesn't count. I don't think that counts. Because I would never FaceTime him. Yeah. Or even text him. Would you like FaceTime your guy friends? Like, really? Is that? Louise is like shocked. Should we call for help? I don't think, I'm really, I don't think there's anyone else to name. Okay, let's really think about this for a second. Think about Sigma Chi. They hated us. I know, but there has to be, like, those are where, like, our guy friends would have been. Okay, so Brayden. Brayden. Brayden.

There must be more. This can't be real. Who did I invite to my birthday? See, like, I have, like, but, like, I can't name Max's friends because you aren't friends with those guys. So, sorry. Sorry. But, like, I have a few vis-a-vis Max, but don't count. Okay, so, Brayden. Brayden. I think we have one solid one, and that's okay. Brad, that's so fucking sad. Well, we're talking amongst the group, you know?

Like, I'm talking my age, right? So, like, I obviously have Elliot. I have Zach. I have Sam. Yeah, like, yeah. Sam! Sam! Sam's a great one. Great. Sam's a great one. Great one. Tom! Tom! And I would say Sam and Tom are friends to all. Friends to all. Okay. So, three. Three is amazing. That's amazing. I think that's enough. I would say two. Yeah. I would say it's Brayden and Tom. And Sam. And Sam.

There must be more. Yeah, because like how do we forget about Tom? Yeah, there must be more. Like let's – okay, like when we go to a party, we're like, oh my god, we're so excited to see. Think about like the younger boys. Is there anybody – okay, we need to move on. Sorry. Yeah, we need to move on. So what's the final count on the guy friends? Three guy friends. That's good. Is it good? I don't know. Okay, so what do we prescribe? Do we even have a prescription? Oh my god, what if we prescribed Wild Child?

Because that focuses on the importance of female friendships. Love. Because it's actually the opposite. She goes from co-ed to single. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Okay. That is such a you movie. I don't... Oh, my God. I love that movie. I don't really think... Or like watch like Gossip Girl. That's like a good like guy-girl friend group. I've prescribed that so many times. Okay. Sorry. No, it's okay. Like it's... No. No. No. What if we prescribed friends? Friends. But they become romantically involved. What if we prescribe...

I also really think that you guys should listen to Fearless Taylor's version because I feel like that really encapsulates the early high school years. Right? Right. So I prescribe Fearless Taylor's version. Okay, totally. And I prescribe also... Fearless has nothing to do with making guy friends. No, but it's about Taylor Swift. It's about the era that you're in. Yeah. Which I think is amazing. That we just guessed that you're in. Yeah, I've guessed. How do we make guy friends? Oh, so we couldn't actually answer the question this entire time.

Yeah, because we're not really fully knowing. Okay, so we're going to prescribe Fearless by Taylor Swift. Fearless by Taylor Swift. I'm 21 and just moved to a new state where I don't know anyone. But this guy at my gym approached me and we've been hanging and texting. My only issue is that I've only dated guys my age and he's 29. How do I get over this age gap? I'm like the wrong person for this advice because that's my type. Like when I was 21, I lost my virginity to a 39-year-old.

Yes. When's that anniversary, by the way? It was the other day. It just passed? Yeah. Nice. What a night that was. What a night. I would just say you just kind of have to embrace the age gap. Right? Or is that like creepy? Like, is that creepy? I don't know. It's such a fine line. It's such a fine line because like- Because 21 is young. It's young. Thinking about myself at 21 and thinking about myself to 24-

Oh my God. I'm like a different human. We dead ass are different humans. Different people. Yeah. So the jump from 21 to 29, like that is a lot of time past. My only qualm is that you're in like such different periods of life. Right. You know, not only that, but she just moved to a new state alone. So like,

Part of me feels like this is just me being cautious that he could like prey on the vulnerability of like her not really knowing other people in this state. And then like immediately going into like a romantic situation could prevent her from meeting like friends. I agree. I agree. I fear you have to proceed with caution. Just proceed with caution. Take it easy and try to make like friends outside of that. And I know that's easier said than done. Yeah. Oh my God. How do you make friends post-grad?

I actually kind of know because I feel like I've made some. Okay, I've made a few too actually. Yeah, we've made. My biggest tips for making friends post-grad is to try to like ask to be introduced to like anyone who's a mutual friend in that city. So like literally just say like to all your friends, like do you know anyone who's like in this city and then just like meet up with them. That's one of your best qualities. Sorry, I interrupted you. Yeah. I'm always doing that and yeah.

And it's just a good thing to do. And then also, also, if there's a run club. Tell them about run club. And you run.

Venice Run Club. My people, I love it so much. It's blown up over the past year. I went before it was like so blown up. I remember we were like, what the fuck are you doing? And she was like, run club. And we were like, a club for running? As I sat and stuffed my face. But I met so many of my friends through run club. So if you run and there's a run club. And then...

If you're a girl, like workout classes, like just like talk to people. Can I be honest? Yeah. That's what Facebook was so good for. So true. The groups. It's so hard on Instagram now. I know. I know. And TikTok too. Where do you do that? You go to Facebook. Facebook groups like still exist, but it's like, I feel like they're all probably kind of weird. And everyone, like no one wants to, a lot of people don't have Facebook. Like, okay. For people like our age and up watching this, like AKA 23 and 24 and up, people, what we've discovered, talk on Snapchat. Yes.

Yeah, it's so fucking insane. It's insane to be. So I guess a Snapchat group would be the closest. Yeah, but like 21-year-olds aren't doing that. Well, let me tell you what not to do. Get on a dating app and go on a date with someone and tell them it's a date and then show up and actually tell them that you were just looking for a friend because that's not cool.

And it's happened to me before more times than I'd like to admit. It's happened like once. Or twice. Okay. I need to stop talking about my dating life. As I said, I'm so entitled. Okay. I ask for so much and I give nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Not a single thing. I like literally I'm just begging for attention at this point. Always. Always. But you're aware of it.

Right. I give self-awareness. Mm-hmm. I'm so self-aware. Mm-hmm. Oh, you disagree. No, I agree. Okay. I agree. Louise, do you agree? Self-aware? Yeah. Yeah, I do agree. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So anyway. But honestly, to this girl, I would say you should be on like Hinge or something and go on dates with guys your age still. Yeah. You know? I would still do that. Agree. Because I kind of regret going-

Actually, I'm not going to say that because that's my type. So if there's any older men listening to this podcast, just kidding. No, but seriously, I do think that the 29-21 is a big, huge age gap. It's like if she was 25 and he was 34.

I think it's a bit different. 33. I guess it's a bit different. I mean, I just always went older. That's why I'm so bad at this event. 21 is just really fucking young. It's so young. That's like you're still in college. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about all that. Yeah. I don't know about all that. Yeah. But, oh, what do we prescribe? We prescribe making girlfriends. Like making girlfriends. Yeah. Or making friends. Making friends. Let's try that one more time. Okay. What do we prescribe? Making friends. Making friends.

We prescribe making friends. Just widen your circle a little bit before you enter this relationship, if you do. Right. All my best friends and I graduated college. We totally peaked. We thought the same. And now we live in separate cities, hours apart. I hate everything, especially where I live. You would hate it here, Jake. I'm sure I would. You definitely would. I'm sure I would. I wonder where it is. But IDK if I should move because it's so expensive, but I can't take being away from my buddies. Should I bite the bullet or save the cash?

Save the cash. See if you can take it for like give yourself like a four to six month time period while you are saving cash because you are so miserable in said city. You do not need to be like going out and da da da. So save the cash. So then in six months, if you save enough cash, you can be like, well, I can afford to move if I want. While simultaneously looking for jobs in said cities that your friends live in. Totally agree. I think that's my advice. I agree. I agree.

I agree. Do the financially responsible option in the short term and then move. And then, yeah, move if you still hate it. But so much can change in six months. So much. Like, so much. So, you literally never know. Literally start a video series on TikTok about how miserable you are. Every day, wake up and be like, I'm miserable. I'd like that. I'd be like, same. Like, literally same. Yeah. Keep it real. Yeah. Just literally do whatever. Like, just, yeah. So, we prescribe, um...

What's a movie about like long distance friendship? Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. We prescribe Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Brett's, I guess, favorite movie. I'm trying to think what else. My boyfriend and I broke up last week and we were supposed to go to prom together. His best friend asked me yesterday if I wanted to go to prom with him. Do it. I feel bad for my ex if I, oh, wait, so maybe their breakup was fine. I feel bad for my ex if I go to prom with him, but I also don't have anyone else to go with to prom. Wow. Thoughts, Brett?

Wow. You picked that up, right? Yeah. Sometimes people. I know. Yeah. Wow. I'm shocked the best friend asked you. That is kind of crazy. That's kind of crazy. If it was an amicable breakup with your ex. Then I wouldn't do it. Yeah. But like if it wasn't, then do it for sure. If he broke up with you, absolutely do it. Yeah, absolutely. But like.

If you broke up with him, it might be rubbing salt in the wound a little too much. Uh-huh. But like if you am also. There has to be more layers to this though. Because like the best friend asking. He must know. He must be like, it's fine. Oh my God, Brett. You know what it probably fucking is? What? They probably have guy friends. Yeah. And they're like all in one big group. Yeah, they have guy friends. So it's like not that weird. Yeah. Like Louise, like do you see that situation happening to you in high school? Fuck. Fuck.

We've missed out on so many life experiences. Yeah. But we've also had so many that other people probably haven't. Like what? Taylor Swift commenting on our TikTok. Yep. Yep. Multiple times. Well, she liked it. Oh, well, she commented on the Red Tails version one. Yes. Commented. That was the best day of our lives. Best day of our lives. And then she liked our 1989 Taylor's version one. Yes.

I love Taylor Swift. Love so much. I'm really excited for Tortured Poets. Me too. I'm like really excited. I think that like this album is like for sure. I like just have this like, oops, my bib. Sorry. I just have like my, I just have this like gut feeling that like this is going to be top three for me. I think so too. And like everyone's like, like, oh my God, the album name. Like, and what about it?

I think the reason the album is going to be good is because, A, okay, I don't really understand the Jack Antonoff. Like, people, I guess people are frustrated that she continues to work with the same producer instead of her music sounding different. But I like all of her stuff with Jack Antonoff. Me too, because he's amazing. He's amazing. They make gold. Like, I don't know what to tell people. Like, okay, like, complain, but, like, Maroon fucks. Maroon fucks. So does Antihero. Get it by car? Yeah.

Mastermind. Bye. The Archer. Delicate. Lover. You are in love. Clean. Is Death by a Thousand Cuts, Jack? Clean is not by him. Is Death by a Thousand Cuts by him? Of course Death by a Thousand Cuts is Jack. So is Cornelia Street. Amazing. Wait, I totally just made that up. I think it is, though. Everything is Jack. He's always in the room with her. Yeah. Like,

Call it what you want. Call it what you want is insane. That's literally my favorite Taylor Swift song besides The Archer. Insane. What's your top three? I'll tell you my top three. Okay. The Archer, Call It What You Want. Call It What You Want is really number two? Really and truly. What about All Too Old Time and Aversion?

Look, I love all too well 10 minute version, but like, I just, it feels unfair to even like rank it in my top three because. Yeah. It's like its own entity. It's like its own episode. It's like, I can't like, of course, like just think of all too well 10 minute version as sitting there happily with them. The Archer. August by Jack. You're a big, oh yeah. You love August too. My Tears Ricochet. My favorite is The Archer. Call it what you want. I'm really thinking for you too. Clean.

Really? I really love clean. Wow. Or like...

Okay, you want to know what I do love? And you're going to be like, so true, Jake, you do love this one. Lover. Do you love Lover? I think Lover might be my number three just because it's so timeless. That's insane. What's your top three? Okay, number one is Cruel Summer. Of course. And it always fucking has been. It always has been. Before the resurgence, this summer, I'm so happy it got that. But like, I have been a Cruel Summer girl since Lover came out. Lover came out on my birthday also, by the way. That's like, so your album 1989 came out on my birthday. I know.

Kind of crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Okay, so Cruel Summer, number two is Delicate, hands down. This ain't for the best. My recommendations. You must like me for me. Mm-hmm. Delicate. Uh-huh. Number three is, damn, like, that's so hard. It's hard. Because, like, part of me wants to say Getaway Car. Okay. Because, like, holy fuck. You do love Getaway Car, Brett. I love Getaway Car. I think, like, you're a rap girl also. Yeah, rap is my favorite album. Yeah.

Also, part of me wants to say August. I think Getaway Car. I think Getaway Car. You do love August, but not as much as you love Getaway Car. Yeah. You can't speak to August with such passion as you speak to Getaway Car with. Getaway Car is like genuinely one of like the best songs of all time. I overdid it with Getaway Car.

As I do with most songs. The only song I cannot overdo it with is The Archer. It's the only one. I could listen to it every single day for the rest of my life and I would never get rid of it. I'm also a day one fucking Archer stan. Yeah, day one. I am. Day one. You are. I remember where I was when the song dropped. I was boarding the B or C train.

To go home. And I was like, oh my God, Taylor Swift just released a song. Yeah, because it was a single. It was a single. And no one knows that. But the Archer was a single. The week Lover came out, I'm pretty sure. It was a little bit earlier in August. No, it was like the Lover was coming out that Friday and she like had dropped. No, it was earlier than that. Because I was still home at the time.

We were going back to school in like two weeks. Oh my God, yeah. I remember when Lever dropped. It dropped like on your birthday. It dropped on my birthday. Oh my God, it's almost like you just said that and I didn't listen. But I did because I responded. It's weird. But then you just forget. I just forget. You don't process the information that you're hearing. Is that my fault? Perhaps. Okay. But that's okay. That's okay. It's never going to get better. Take me as I am. He was like this, like pre-fame, like pre-everything too. So like...

It's not like a new thing. It's not a new thing. And they've loved me for six, seven years with it. Exactly. So it's fine. It's fine. But yeah. Okay. So Lover, The Archer. God, we could really just go on about Taylor Swift. Yeah. And I would say, do you remember listening to Folklore together? Of course. We were... Okay. So basically, I would say our freshman and sophomore year, the only way I would know how to describe us is just distracted a bit. Like...

We now devote, like, as I was saying in previous episodes, stand-based culture is like religion. Yeah. Almost to a T. It is. To a fucking T. That was an amazing point you made. Really and truly to a T. And I literally think in, like, 200, 300 years, you're going to go to church and it's going to be, like, Swiftians, like, 510, like,

Don't blame me. You think? I really, I really think so. I really think so. Don't blame me is my number three, I think. Oh, you love don't blame me. I love don't blame me. But I think, like, we weren't, let's just say, religious. We loved her and we, everything, we paused the world to listen. But, like, we almost, it's almost like how Christians pray before bed. Like,

We listen. Mm-hmm. And we talk about her. Yeah. So if we're not listening, we're talking about her. Yeah. Or keeping up with her. Yeah. One of the three. Yeah. And I would say we weren't as dedicated in those two years, and I would say over COVID, that

that's when like we really found our religion in Taylor Swift. Yeah. We were already getting like really like just getting into her old discography like because we finally had a minute. So we were like listening to Fearless again. We were listening to like everything again, like finding new songs. There were so many songs I didn't know. Yeah. And we were really just like listening to old stuff. And then she dropped Folklore. Almost like a gift. It was a gift. It was a gift. It was like, wait, I see the love and support for like what's going on.

I'm still just that bitch. Yes. I'm still that bitch. Yeah. And don't forget it. Yeah. And she dropped folklore. We were like, oh my God. The world changed. Just when you think our Swifty and obsession could die down, Evermore. Okay. The morning she posted about Evermore, I was in Chicago and Jake was in California. I'm chills. I'm chills.

Saw Taylor post that she was surprised dropping another album. I called Jake. And at five in the morning, I'm like, why is Brett calling me? I'm like, oh my God. This was like before his Do Not Disturb era where he never picks up anything. He picks up and I'm like, Jake, Taylor is dropping another fucking album tonight. I don't even know if you promised that. I was like, what? I was like screaming, freaking out. And then...

I listened to it that night. We listened to it together, obviously, like via text. We would text each other. That's how we did folklore. And then we said, my mom was like a fan. Like my mom was like, oh my God, this Willow song is amazing. And as I've said before, everything she likes, I usually like, cause she doesn't like a lot of stuff. And like the fact that she liked Willow was really important to me because we were so into Taylor at that point. Like you, me and Julia were like,

at that point. So like her liking Taylor Swift meant so much to me that Evermore did reign supreme over folklore. Yeah. You love Evermore. And then just when you think, Fearless Taylor's version. Yeah. And then there was a bit of a drought. There was a drought between Fearless Taylor's version and Red. And I remember Red was announced and it was like a three month, four month time period. And that was like, we had to wait. And with Fearless, it was like one month.

And like with we were so spoiled. We were so used to like red and fearless and evermore and vocals. We got singles off of Fearless Tales version. Yeah. We didn't have a single single off of red and red dropped. And then there was the real drought for a year before Midnight's. Yeah. And now we have tortured. And then we got 1989. Yeah. And now I'd speak now. Well, and like the whole era's tour. It's almost been a year since our first concert.

It's the 26th. We got there way too early. Jake made us get there five hours before the concert. I didn't know. I didn't know. I feel like you did know. And they had to throw away their bags and stuff, their stuff in their boots. We had the like JW Pay Amazon bags and they wouldn't let us bring them in. And they're like $40, which like isn't ideal, but...

We threw them out because we didn't have time. Well, actually, we did have time to go back to the hotel, but Jake was making it seem like she was like going on in two hours. Like we didn't know. What were our surprise songs again? Love Story and Stole on the Beach. Okay. Do you want to know my favorite night of surprise songs we ever got? Dress in Exile. Dress in Exile. That was insane. Because Dress isn't my favorite song, you fucking guys. Taylor gets on that damn stage, starts singing Dress. Like I was just for some reason so down. Yeah.

It was unreal. I think that was one of the best nights of my life. Yeah. And besides that, she goes, say my name and everything just stops. And the entire stadium, you could hear a pin drop. But she didn't say stops. She like took a pause. Oh, wait. No shit event. No shit event. You're right. She said, say my name and everything just stops. And paused. Oh, right, right, right, right. And the entire stadium. Like, do you not have chills? When Desi –

70,000 people. It was a sold out stadium at SoFi. Like this woman was performing six nights in a row. She shut down the city of Los Angeles for her damn concert. Like that was Taylor week. It was a really intense. We were at the end of it. It was like blood. We had gotten into a fight.

Yumi and Julia. Oh, yeah. A huge screaming match. There was beads all over the fucking house. We were decked out. My nails were green. Like, that was Coachella. You were wearing a tail. I was wearing a tail. Like, that was our Coachella. Like, we went three nights. No, you went three nights. We went two.

It's a red. And it was crazy. It was a crazy, crazy week. But so when she did dress and shut it down and also that was my first of the three nights. So I remember just being like on a high. And you hadn't seen her since Vegas. I hadn't seen her since Vegas. So it had been a while. And I was like, let's fucking go. Yeah. Like it's fucking Taylor time. Yeah. Like-

And then Exile, and we did the Taylor part when she did the Bonnie Bear part. Yeah. Never gonna hear me. Never gonna hear me out. Yeah. I've got to get so many songs this time. Yeah. I never learned to read my. Never learned to read my. I couldn't help me out. I never gave up what I gave so many songs.

And those seats were amazing. I slayed. You slayed. Those were the ones. You got those, right? Yeah. It was a show that she added in LA and I got a ticket master code and I was like, is this spam? Cause this would be the way to get me. To get you. And it wasn't. I will never forget. Okay. This is so Brett, by the way. We all got verified fans. Me and Julia got verified fans.

Like we got, it was like obviously a fucking robot chose and we got verified fans and Brett didn't get verified fan presale. And she was like, I'm just like confused. Like she was like genuinely mad. Like she thought Taylor had sat her ass down and hand selected these verified fans. I was like, I just don't get it. Yeah. She was like, I am a fan. Like how am I not a Ticketmaster verified fan? First of all,

If you weren't there for Ticketmaster Day, I don't know how to explain to you how traumatic that was. It was so insane. You were sitting in Orlando, like, on your computer. You FaceTimed me. It was insane. And, like, we finally got to, like, I, like, had done it at, I was doing it at work. I had it up on, like, four screens. Yeah. And, like, everyone just kind of knew, like, okay, Jake, like, it's, I'm sorry. Like, I was like, I'm sorry, everyone. Like, it's okay.

Taylor Swift is on sale. Like you, we were really scared that we weren't going to be able to see her. We were really scared. And no one understood. Everyone was like, what? You'll be fine. The website fucking crashed. It crashed before my very eyes. And then they had to, and I remember thinking, oh my God, okay, we're done. We lost the tickets. And that day tickets were selling for $20,000 on step up. Yeah. It was crazy. It was insane. And that was before her. She even like blew up.

Because of the Aristotle. I didn't even realize maybe because I, as I said, we, we became religious and we are like, we're really, we really practice Swiftianism. We're practicing Swifties. We're practicing Swifties. And like,

I just don't think I realized at the time how what the heiress tour really did for her. She kind of reentered the public eye. Yeah. Entirely. Yeah. She was like, wait, I'm dating again. I remember. Oh, my God. She broke up with Joe. Oh, my God. That was a really tough night. Where were you? I was in New York. Oh, my God. I was out in L.A. I think I was. I was like, oh, my God. It was the it was the weekend. I did the Jonas Brother thing.

And I remember Julia was in New York too. And I was like, they, they're done. They broke up. It was insane. I was, I was heartbroken. Me too. And then I was in Singapore when she did You're Losing Me. Oh my God. Literally, where were you? You were, where was I? And I remember listening. Oh, I was on a walk. Yep. And I was like, there is no fucking way. There is no way, but there is a way. And I listened to it for the first time in Singapore and I was like,

Singapore is a trip we can get into at a later date. And then you got back from Singapore and you woke me up in the morning. Yep. Because, well, okay, I guess we can get into a little bit of this now. But for Singapore, we landed in San Francisco because I went with a brand and there was a connection from San Francisco to Los Angeles. And

Sorry. Like, at this point, I was ready to get the fuck home. Okay? Like, you can't smoke weed there. Like, it's such a beautiful country. The food was amazing. Everything was outstanding. I was so blessed to be there. But I'm addicted to smoking weed. Yeah.

I think so. And I know like. You couldn't vape there either, right? Yeah. You both couldn't vape and you couldn't smoke. And like, I just like, I was ready to be home. Okay. I'm a really bad traveler. Let's just leave it at that. I'm a bad traveler. And we landed in San Francisco at midnight and there was a storm in Taiwan. So we landed like an hour later than expected. And I remember telling the flight attendant, she was like, there's a storm in Taiwan because they knew how much I was freaking out. Like, I was like, I'm scared we're going to miss our connecting flight. And she was like, there's a storm in Taiwan. And I was like, can we just go through it?

And she was like, no, what? And then like, and then like when you fly internationally and you have a connecting flight in the States, you have to recheck your luggage because you have to go through customs at the first place you land in. Yeah.

Thank. Oh my God. I didn't even have you're losing me. It wasn't even on fucking streaming. I don't even know how I listened to it. No, you got a file. I got a file sent to me. Yeah. God, it was like the fucking prohibition for you're losing me. No, for so long. For so long. And I just quick tangent of the tangent. Like when that song came out, I remember you and Julia and Peyton were like, obviously instantly obsessed. It took me a listen. Really? I was like, I don't get it. And then how?

How long, huh? Can we be a sad song? What? Till we were too far gone to bring back to life. Do you remember when we learned the bridge? I was about to say. Should we sing it? Yeah. Yeah.

How long can we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life? I gave you all my best me's. What? My endless empathy. And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest. Here we go. Fighting in only your army. What? Frontlines, don't you ignore me. Huh? I'm the best thing in this party. What? You're losing me.

And I wouldn't marry me either. Go a pathological people pleaser. Why? Who only wanted you to see her. Okay, okay, okay. Wait. Lose something. Say something. Say something. Lose something, babe. Risk something. You're losing me. Choose something, babe. I got nothing. Hold up. To believe. Unless you're choosing me. Yeah.

It took us a while to memorize that. For TikToks, I think. And you know what part we forgot just now that we would always forget? The, and I'm fading. And I'm fading thinking, deuce fuck. Yeah, it's okay. That was always it for me. That and the risk something part, I think. Because I would always get those fumbles. Because we couldn't listen to it on Spotify. Yeah, yeah. It was just a bit harder. But also, back to Singapore. Basically, moral of the story is I landed in San Francisco.

And we missed our flight because of the storm in Taiwan. And I was like, oh, no, this, I'm sorry, respectfully, this can't be. Like, I must get back to Los Angeles tonight. And it was midnight. And what did I do? I called an Uber from San Francisco at midnight. To Los Angeles. And to Los Angeles and sat my ass in that Uber for six hours. The poor Uber. I tipped him so much fucking money. I know. I felt horrible. But I said to him, I got in the car and I said... How did he even do that? I said, sir...

My destination is Los Angeles. And he said, excuse me? And I said, I totally understand if you would like to cancel. I completely get it. I would just like to know sooner rather than later. Like, you know, like I got to. I can't believe he agreed to it. And he said, looked at me and was like, let's do it. And we drove through fields. We came next to each other at a gas station. Yeah.

I talked to him about how much I missed weed. I told him I was just in Singapore. Sorry, I don't even remember who we were giving advice to and why. Oh, it was the prom. Oh. So what was our advice? How did we get to Singapore and Taylor Swift? I actually have no idea. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Basically, it depends how you broke up with your boyfriend, but like-

Or how the breakup went. It all just depends on how the breakup went. Rhi, your best friend. Oh, and we don't have guy friends because we were listening to Taylor Swift. Yes. Follow the breadcrumbs. Yes. Got it. Okay. If breakup was amicable, don't go. If he broke up with you, absolutely go. And we prescribe Taylor Swift. Yes. Of course. I'm just a straight guy in high school who has always been a straight guy. Right up until I met this openly bi-curious football jock who has ruined my life in multiple mental ways. He has a girlfriend and doesn't talk to me unless they're apart. I've become obsessed and can't get over him. How do I?

I'll take the lead on this one. This was my literal fucking dream as a kid. I was like, I literally want to be a secret. Like, I want to be a secret. I want to relate to these horrible movies and horrible love songs. Like, it's all I wanted. So, like, that's why I'm the worst to give you advice on this because I'm like, I want that even though I know it's so horrible and so toxic.

How do you get over it? I literally don't know because you also like can't really air his shit out because that's so personal to him. I think you'd have to have a conversation with him and just if it's really ruining your life, be like, I'm done. I'm done. It sounds like something's going on is what this sounds like. It sounds like they've maybe kissed or spoken about stuff.

So you say, you cut it off and you say, I'm done for my own mental health. Unless you don't want to like, unless you stop pretending I don't exist and we acknowledge what's going on here, I'm done. And for this, I prescribe, call me by your name.

Because I'm pretty sure Armie Hammer plays like a DL. I don't really know. But he ends up having a wife and breaks Timothee Chalamet's heart. Yeah. Oh, great movie. You know that movie ruined my life. Yeah, that makes sense. Because I want that. Yeah, that makes sense. Because I want to be Timothee Chalamet. I know. That makes sense. Like, I literally want to be the gay Timmy. Okay. You have the 516 pulled up? Okay. This girl says, call me. I have a few questions for Cassandra. No way. Okay. Is that Cassandra? Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Hi, this is Jake Shane. I got your tummy. What's wrong? Are you kidding me right now? No, I'm dead ass. No, like, no. I literally sent that in like a couple hours ago, dude. I checked my email. Wait, so I'm sitting here with Brett. Say hi to Brett. Hi, Queen. How are you? Oh my God, she followed you on Instagram the other day, she said. No fucking way. Brett's been trying to grow her IG, so she appreciates that. Period. Period. I'm going to give away.

You entered the giveaway? Brett, I told you that giveaway was amazing. The giveaway slayed. I have to tell my sister. Wait, you said you had a few questions for Cassandra. She's sitting right next to me. Yeah, I want to know what Josh Richards smelled like. Cassandra, what did he smell like? Oh my God. She says a girl, she says she'll never tell her secrets, but he smelled amazing.

Love that for her. Anymore? I'm jealous. I'm also from New York. Oh, I can hear it. Yeah, I can hear it. Oh my God, I'm like, I'm shaking. Wait! Wait, what's her name? Wait, what's your name? I don't even think I caught your name. No, I'm Maddie. Maddie, I'm Jake. I'm sitting here with Brett. Queen. I love you guys so much. Wait, we love you more. I'm so happy Cassandra could answer your questions. I hope you have the best. Wait, do you want to say hi to the pussies? We're recording Therapus. Yes! Yes!

Okay, Maddie, we love you. Oh my God, stop. Have the best day, Maddie. I love you. Bye, Maddie. Love her. Love. Love her. Obsessed with you, Maddie. Maddie, my God, that was like so pure and so sweet. So pure. Oh my God. I'd want to be friends with Maddie. Me too. Love her. She sounded really sweet. Really sweet. Oh my God. Brett, we finished the Tell Me What's Wrongs. Hell yeah. What did we learn today? That we have no guy friends. Yep. And

Not one. Not one. Duncan! Oh my God! Yes! Okay. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. We have four guy friends. Four guy friends. That's it. And no boyfriends can take offense to this because in the beginning we said boyfriends don't count. Yes. If there was boyfriends, we'd obviously have a plus three. Yeah. But there is not, so it does not count. Yeah. Four. Four. Four. Okay, so I've learned that we have four guy friends. Yeah. Well, you've learned that we have none.

What do you mean? Because that's nothing. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But that's okay. No. Okay. So we've learned that we have no guy friends or we've learned that we had four. I think I've also learned how to make a dessert bowl. Yeah, you have. I've learned that Taylor Swift is, I mean, that's not something I've learned. She runs our life. She runs our life. Swiftians. That's okay. We're practicing Swifties. I've learned that we're practicing Swifties. We're practicing Swifties. We came to that conclusion. Yeah. Okay. Well, Brett.

Good luck at your marathon. Thank you. I'm so sad I can't be there to cheer you on, but I'll definitely FaceTime someone in the Chodi household. Yeah, you'll- To make sure I get a bird's eye view. You'll have to FaceTime Mocha. Girls, I hope you liked my running gear today in honor of Brett's- Oh, I see what you mean by it's squishing. Yeah. Yeah. We have our bibs. We have our bibs. I'm 88. She's number one. Oh, and if anyone's caring, my bib for Boston is 9571. 9571. That is Brett's bib for Boston. Everyone, wish Brett good luck and-

Maddie, we fucking love you. Love you, Maddie. Bye, pussies. Bye, pussies. Hi, pussies. Put your tents up. Put your tents up. Tents up. Smart cookie.