Vagabond's Heart: A Dimwood Tale | Ep. 9 | Heart of Darkness
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This is Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Vagabond's Heart, A Dimwood Tale. Here's what happened last time. Oh, gosh! Rob, you little man! There are rumors that the Eyrie are looking for something very dangerous by the coast of Drake Smith.

They believe that there is a dragon cult. We happen to be headed there, so we will investigate. It's a special delivery for Fernlife. It's these new clam whips.

You are lovely, lovely people and we appreciate the fun time that you showed us. Oh, thank you. Welcome to Joy, but we're just gonna go about our business. People are welcome to join the night. You can just watch. It's the first time. Oh, wow. And you see that there is a little dinghy. This is the garden of the sea dragon. Glowing up ominous orangey light, but it's all contained within this large effigy. Suddenly you realize once again for the second time in this adventure that you're all surrounded. You must pledge.

I'm gonna grab the hilt and pull it from the sword and the stone in this bitch. All hail Zyrag!

And incinerate the entire bit of the statue. Well, this has been fun. Zyrepi praise, Zyrepi praise. Everyone have a lovely night. We'll see you around. And four relics all maintained. You step off and you heave off and you row and row. And as soon as the sword crosses the threshold away from the reef, suddenly you're...

As you look behind you, the reef slides forward and interlots, and then a low rumbling, and it sinks beneath the sea. You're all in your room as the rain is pelting the window. You hear the thundering of thunder and the crackling of lightning as it streaks over the sea. The light on the ocean where the black reef once was is no longer there as the lighthouse continues to spin. Baaah!

Boom. I will have poured myself a little bit of bourbon. Well, I suppose that this is the final leg of our journey then, isn't it? What would you know about? Well, we try not to get killed by Ty, but the silent death, I suppose. Because he's certainly going to be looking for that

God damn... The sewage thing, right? Yeah. So we don't even know what they do. We have all four of them. Why don't we try to take them all out and, like, touch them all together? I don't know. That seems dangerous.

What was the point of collecting all of them? I don't think anybody really knows. Nobody knows. Not even Jericho. Well, you know, I thought at the point of collecting all of them so that we could get them all in one place and someone could swoop in and steal them. And then all of a sudden we'd have an even bigger problem on our hands. That's very specific, Peggy. I hope that's not going to happen.

No, but it probably is. All right. So I would say we just sit here and watch the windows and then someone will come in the door. Or we can watch the door and someone will come in the windows. Why don't we watch both? And I'll keep my nose out. Then there will be an earthquake and the floor will fall away and we'll lose them anyway. Nonetheless, I don't think that we should just be randomly...

mashing them together. I mean, these are very powerful things and we've seen the way that they interact with each other when we had to retrieve them. So if they're all supposed to be part of like some crazy like Elkenlord's regalia or something, don't you think one of us should put them on? Whoever looks the most like an elk? Well, who would that be? Well, probably Gromley. I don't look anything like an elk.

Isn't it a deer, not an elk? I don't know. No, he doesn't really look like an elk. Well, what about... I think Booker looks the most like an elk. I was thinking more because, you know, an elk runs on four legs, and sometimes Grumly runs on four legs. Sometimes everybody runs on four legs. What are you trying to say? I'm a frog. I only hop on two.

Um, well look Booker, he's got that pointy snap, kind of like a deer, you know, like a stag. He's got those big pointy ears, like two antlers. I don't even know if I could wear the locket or necklace around me. I mean, it's enormous. What if we all just put on one and then hold hands? Well, I mean, I've got the banner in my backpack.

That's a great idea. And I take out the gigantic amulet that I have and I put it around my neck. I'll put my crown on. I'll hold the sword out. I'll take the banner out, but it's still rolled up like a piece of newspaper that you use to swat like a fly or something. Okay, you have all the artifacts out. And they all hum with this strange resonance.

as they glow this orange, almost ember-like glow. And as they're all in proximity, it seems to get brighter. All right, let's all hold hands then. Should we just touch them together? I guess we could. Because, you know, it's a magical charge that goes through them when we touch hands. We're all going to fry ourselves to death. Do you say, oh, it works? I don't know. I've got one on my head, so I think I'll just get fried anyway. Well, take it off your head and just like...

Put it in the middle. It's all right. I don't need this paw anyway. So as you all touch tips, suddenly you see a flash, an explosion, as a shock shoots through your body as you're first...

and your eyeballs burst out is what you fantasize about in fear as nothing happens besides the glow intensifying as that pit of fear and fantasy just comes very briefly a shared vision almost as if you had just gotten sucked to hell and

Nothing happens, you just kind of tap them all together and they all kind of glow and it pulses as you move them together, but there's not a horrible disastrous explosion or anything. - Yeah, no, I think that we're just gonna have to wait for them to be stolen by some nefarious being. - Oh, I don't wanna do that, took us so long to get up. - I know, neither do I, but that's just the way a narrative works. - I wonder if there's any way we could find Jericho. Not that he would know what they're even used for.

I mean, I would think something like this would be lost to time. Don't you think he's the most likely one to steal them and run away with them? He's the first person that we met. He seemed like a creepy old man who was missing his daughter. And then it turns out he was actually leading us in the direction so we could subvert our expectations.

I only caught about half that. I don't know what any of that means. That's the worst part about traveling. The people who want tinkers, they're also not thinkers. I hear you say that again. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

A magical pair of sunglasses floating just comes out of nowhere and appears above-- Oh my god, Bello! Appears above Peggy's eyes and then disappears. That's late, right? Yeah, it's very late. It's like well past midnight. I think we should get a good night's sleep. We should keep watch so that nobody comes in the window or the door or the earthquake or the ground.

and just keep an eye on these relics real close, like. I'm gonna, like, with the rolled up banner, I'm gonna, like, peel the corner of it back just to unravel a little bit. That's still working. It's still working very well. I'm just gonna suck this one back here like that. Do you think we should just sleep holding each one of our relics so that way if someone comes to take them, they have to kill all of us? Well, I actually think that's a great idea. Right, right, yes.

I don't want that. Well, no, we don't want that, but they should at least have to go through all four of us.

I'm gonna spend the significant amount of time I've got a ton of this seaweed and I'm just basically gonna just put seaweed all over the doors and all over the windows so they at least have to cut through that and I'll make a lot of noise I'm gonna hang all these clam shells from it so the moment they touch it they start clinking together and we're immediately woken up I don't know if it'll work but I'm gonna try I think I'm gonna take a little bit of honey and put it in front of the door and in the window so if they come in they get stuck on the feet you

Yeah, that's a great idea. I think I'm going to sleep with one eye open. I'm going to keep drinking this bourbon, and you all do whatever the hell you want to do, and I'm going to enjoy myself, because this very well may be our last night on this dimwit. Well, Peggy, are you going to have first watch? Or Booker, do you want to have first watch? Sure, I'll take first watch. If there's enough bourbon, maybe I'll take second watch. Yeah, me too, while I'm setting up all of my stuff.

Alright, I'll take the second and third one. We'll figure it out. I'll get last one? Yeah. Goodnight. And I just lay down. And so I lay out and I'm sitting with all my limbs behind me and I'm gonna keep one eye open.

Watch it. If I can. You see a fly land on Grimly's eye. And he skirts Skitter around it, he does not notice. As for the first time as Vagabonds, you take a Dungeons & Dragons watch. It's really hard to shake and like, we're about to be beset upon by Tiber the Silent Death, so...

And it's about on your third watch where all is quiet. And then suddenly it's almost too quiet. The window shatters. You see a flash of feathers and swords as you wake up from your nightmares and you enjoy a long rest because you've enjoyed a Dungeons and Dragons watch. You may as well enjoy a long rest.

Overnight, the storm had dissipated. You hear the cry of gulls outside, but it's not the cry of gulls that you're used to. It's just a bunch of angry fishermen that are fighting over their slip spots by the wharf. And you all wake, and you check, and your relics are all on your person. Hi, we didn't get burgled.

Well, we... You know what? We need a plan. You know, I don't... I've been saying it the whole time. I don't believe about sending either of these groups of relics to one faction or the other, and I don't necessarily trust the COVID conspiracy either.

But I just don't know what we're supposed to do next. It's as if this old crazy man sent us out on a mission, we took his word for it without even thinking twice, almost died multiple times, and here we are with nothing to show for it. Yeah, because you know, outside of just handing it over to people who might have, uh... who might use it for good or worse...

Regardless of whether they're used for good or for evil, the dimwood would irrevocably be changed forever.

So what are we supposed to do with them? I think we should try just having one person put all of it on. Fine, I'll do it. And I start taking my clothes off. I don't think you should be naked for it. Peggy, come on. Maybe just keep your clothes on for protection. I worked really hard on all of these clothes and I am not going to finish them. All right. All right. Here's the crown. I'll take the banner out of my backpack. Put the amulet on. And I'll like...

Are you sure? Or do you have to give them all to one person? If I die, you can have all of... My soul is still trapped in here or some shit. You put your soul in there in the first place? Well, no. That crazy woman in the swamp said that I was going to die if I didn't get this banner. Now I'm worried if I let go of it, something happens to it, I'm still going to die. I'm going to literally stand in right here. Fine. And I unfurl it.

Okay. You unfurl it and you see that Shadow is kind of shooting out. The hands are wriggling and writhing, but it's not going much past the perimeter of this banner as it flaps, as it unfurls. And you see Peggy

who has a helmet that is definitely to, not the helmet, the amulet, the sword, the banner, and the, what was the other thing? - Crown. - The crown, the crown on her head that's more or less of a, it kinda has to tilt up on your head and then hang backwards. - Keeps poking me in one of my eyes. - As you hold them, Peggy, they all start to glow and nothing really feels any different. However, Peggy, your eyes roll back

as suddenly they flash with a bright orange. Peggy, your vision goes out and you are surrounded by darkness. You are put into a catatonic state. As far as your friends can perceive, I can't pause this goddamn music. As your consciousness shifts, Peggy, you see darkness.

and a shape moving. You're in a forest. Trunks of trees all around. It's dark. And suddenly, a burst of firelight through the forest. Several rows of trees beyond you. And you see a shape cloaked in shadow. Massive black antlers. No more than a silhouette, but a massive creature, probably twice your height.

standing in the woods, two eyes open. They're almost like lanterns with how large and blazing they are. And as you see this, you hear a voice in your mind. You have taken what is mine and you feel like you're able to respond. Well, you know, that really depends on who you are. Are you talking about that hand I stole?

The crown, the sword, the banner, the heart. Yeah, well, yeah, I would say borrowed more than anything. Not necessary with the full intention of keeping forever. By the way, who are you? I'm Peggy. Nice to meet you. Have you met my friend Hamilton? He writes a lot of letters.

I am long dead. Oh, wow. That really sucks for you, my friend. So that actually begs the question, how can I take what's yours if you're dead? Because I feel like kind of like finders keepers, losers weepers. Once you're dead, off with your head or something like that. So now this is mine. The source of my power is mine for eternity. You know, it's a fine print. You always say to read it. I know Hamilton does.

There is great power in what you hold. Oh yeah, I know that. What do you wish to do to it?

I don't want to do anything with the power actually we were kind of swindled by this weird old bird guy and he told us we should all go collect these but he didn't actually tell us what we should do with them when we got them so he was stupid and we went and collected them anyway and now there are a couple of people who want them and we're like ah we probably shouldn't give them to those guys because they might do bad things with them so we don't really know where to take them so we're kind of wondering do we put them back do we hide them elsewhere is there a place we're supposed to take him to go am I rambling I have a habit of rambling when I get really nervous oh god I think I'm gonna pee

I'm not wearing any clothes right now. I don't know if you can see, it's kind of dark, but I'm fully naked right now. Neither am I. Okay, that should make me feel more comfortable, but it really doesn't, actually, in this moment. It feels like a threat. They are those... Those items are yours to do what you will. Great power to those who wield it, but a terrible power. I had used them to conquer this dim wood.

banish back the evil, the darkness, the creatures that lurk through the boughs. Great, built the greatest empire this continent has ever seen. I believed in them fully, and eventually it led my empire to ruin. We turned on each other. We used our dark magics against each other, and the great witch in my court corrupted me, slayed me, and scattered my relics.

as war, civil war, destroyed my kingdom and sent my people into the darkness, the darkest spots of this Dimwood, where they are no more than savages.

Wow, that's a lot to unpack, all things considered. So, there were a couple of things I want to touch on. I'm not really sure how long this is going to last. But first, you told me these were yours and I stole them, and I'm pretty sure you just said that these are mine now. So, I just want to make sure that I find print. These are mine. I'm not going to be accused of stealing things anymore. Mine, but you can use them for I am dead.

They will always be mine. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, that sounds good. On top of that, you mentioned a witch. That's kind of horrifying to me a little bit. So is this witch still alive? By chance, is she dead like you are? And you're also talking to me while dead. So what are the chances this witch is going to find me? Because currently, like I said, I'm naked. So I can't see what's happening to my body right now. And I don't really want to end up the way you did. Just, I mean, it's important. Yeah.

The witch may still live. Okay, well, that's, you know, even worse than the fact that I... At my tomb in the heart of the forest. Okay, should we go there and, like, kill her? Would that be, like, the right thing to do? The right thing to do is what you wish to do in your heart. Oh, no. I don't know if that's... I do not intend to place any kind of petty morality...

or any kind of duty upon you. I did my duty and it destroyed me. It destroyed my kingdom. She may still live, she may be dead. Perhaps killing her will put an end to all of these relics. Yeah, all right. That's a lot to deal with right now in the dark, shadowy realm with a creature that has orange eyes who's also naked alongside me and is accusing me of theft. So, uh...

It was really great to meet you. How do I get out of here? North until the harvest moon, then east to the heart of darkness. You're selling directions on-- Suddenly, the voice starts to change. See you later! And your vision starts to fade as your friends who've been staring around you, you've been holding these things, your eyes roll back in glowing orange. They've been surrounding you for minutes.

As in real time, you come back, your eyes are returned to normal, and your sentience, your consciousness, returns to the room and your friends surround you. I roll the banner back up and hand it to Walker. Oh my, of course. The next time you try and give me shit about getting naked before important things, I just want you to know whatever that weird shadowy creature was I just talked to was also naked. So, it's obviously the thing that happens all over the dimwood, alright? As I slowly start putting my foot back up. We thought you weren't coming back from that.

I don't know why. I don't know why. Goodness gracious. So, I went into like a weird shadowy realm and there was a creature there who I kind of think might have been that deer guy, but I don't know because all I could see was its orange eyes. But it didn't tell me it was naked, so that's kind of important, I think. Anyway, there's a witch. We're supposed to go north towards the Harvest Moon and then take a left, I think, at the fork.

Honestly, I can't remember. I think you should have East. It gave you directions that you can't remember. Like, if you're heading North, isn't East left? No. Well, I don't know the difference between my right and my left. Someone told me once you hold your fingers up, whichever one says L, both of them say L. One of them just flipped over. So I pull out the map of the dimwit that we have. I'll say, shall we go North to maybe Pottsville? And I'll point at Pottsville. What does that have to do with the harvest month? Oh!

Well, if you see right here on the map, this is where all the farms are. There's tons of farms and stuff in Botchco.

And then maybe east, the heart of, what did he say? The heart of darkness? Oh, did I say that? Because I just remember telling you he was naked. But sure, I might have been rambling while I was completely unconscious. Well, I'm just, if you told us everything, then maybe we'd go to the east. I told you everything I remembered. Which was nothing. So what? So maybe we have to go to the east.

And you know, he said something about there being a witch that completely killed him. A witch? What do you mean a witch? And you know, that motherfucker, he tried to tell me that I stole his stuff. That's not fair. All of you stole his stuff too. And he's dead, so it really doesn't count. To be fair...

I don't care if the witch killed him and she's still alive, technically I think we stole his stuff. - You're saying a lot of stuff, I don't really understand you, Peggy. He's long dead, is what you just said. - So yeah, he's long dead, so the stuff must belong to the witch, and we stole it, so if the witch still exists, she's not gonna be happy with any of us. - I don't think I wanna get in trouble with a witch.

So what if he decides to go north and then what? What if it's that chicken that was... What was you fondling? Well, then we're going to be in real deep shit. Oh, God. Chicken chicken. Well, if she said go north till the harvest moon... Then turn left. Then turn east. Yeah. Or left. Either way. Whichever one. Into the heart of darkness. Maybe it means into the woods to the east of Popsfield. What for what? This...

where the switch is. How do you know when you get to the Harvest Moon? I don't know. We just look up. Why are you so determined that it's Pottsfield when you don't even know where the Harvest Moon is? Technically, we could walk four steps out of here if we hit a Harvest Moon and we turn left. Then it doesn't necessarily get us to Pottsfield. There are so many things along north, the left of north, all the way straight throughout of the Dimwood. Well, I just think...

If it's harvest related, there's a harvesty place right to the north of us. But we're supposed to go left from north. I don't know what you're saying. We're supposed to go north until we hit the harvest moon, and then we're supposed to go left. Left or east? East. They're both left. All right, well, we'll go east, and then that might be left or it might be right. I don't know. Well, I've never been to this clearing, so I'm willing to go.

I'd like to see it. Sure. I mean, we don't really have any other choices. And all I can say is I don't want to get naked and put on all those things again and have to talk to that guy one more time. I mean, we always have a choice, though. We could do anything we want from you.

Oh, and he did say that if we use them, they're like super powerful. I think he said there was a price too. And then he said something about morality, but I stopped listening because I started thinking about how nice it would be to go square dancing. Oh, that would be nice. It's been a long time. Do you think if we kill this witch, could we just get rid of the power that's in all these things? Oh, yeah, he did say something like, well, if you killed the witch, then maybe you would destroy the artifacts or something. Maybe that's what we need to do.

Oh, he did? Yeah. So that means not giving it to the Marquee's head. Well, we weren't going to do that anyway. Well, I kind of wanted to do that anyway. Well, we certainly weren't going to let you do that anyway. Oh, no. Well, it's better than falling into the Erie's hands. I don't think it is. I think it's equally bad. Why can't we use him, though?

I don't think we want to use them unless we have to. I don't want to use anything for destruction or conquest. I just want to survive. I just want a nice little cottage by the water where I can do some fishing. I'll bet you you could probably get one of those. With a creepy shadow banner? No thanks. Yeah.

I want Demarque to use it for conquest and war. No. Yeah, no, I'm with Hazel on this one, though. Frankly, it's almost as if you've learned nothing on our journey. Well, I think that they're better than Eerie. Well, I think we're better than both of them. I think you're right. I think if we can just get rid of the powers so that they can't fall into anybody's hands, that's probably the best course.

You know, I don't think it was a coincidence that I was able to go into a creepy shadow realm and talk to someone who was long dead. So, given that added bit of information, I think we should probably do what the dead guy said to do. Live cats, live birds, dead guy and a witch. I think I'm picking dead guy and a witch. I really don't want to see a witch. That's horrifying. Oh, yeah, I know. What is she going to do to us when she finds out that we have the artifacts?

Well, I don't know. We have the own effects and she doesn't, so... Well, if we're lucky, maybe this horrible, creepy shadow banner will eat her soul and then it'll just be over. Well, she's gonna be hundreds of years old, if not older. That's too old. Oh, no. That is too old. Is she a too old cat? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Maybe the cat was evil the whole time. She's downstairs and she can hear us right now. That is a good point, though. I didn't think about that. We should climb out the window. I don't think it's a good idea to continue being in this room. Oh.

While we climb out the window, there's perfectly good stairs that are free to use. I might go bother you. Because if she's downstairs, we don't want to walk past her. I don't think she's downstairs. That's a bit of a stretch. Well, Hazel just said she might be downstairs. She could be. She could be anywhere. Even if she's a two-old cat, I don't think she'd be in this two-old cat establishment. Maybe they have a franchise in the Heart of Darkness. I think we should just head

that way, 'cause this is just going around in squares. - I pack up my things, I carefully step over the honey as I move towards the door, and I-- - I collect my honey. - Okay. You all make your way down the stairs, and you see that the tavern room of Two Old Cats is empty, that there seems to be some bartender that you don't recognize behind the bar, and everyone seems to be looking out the window towards the sea.

And you hear kind of strange commotion from outside. And as you make your way outside of the door, you see dots and figures all in the sky above the sea and around the lighthouse. As you see eerie soldiers flying around, some in boats.

foxes and mice and rabbits rowing out around the location of where the reef was. Some have rods sticking into the water. You see that there's a perimeter built around the lighthouse and they seem to have kicked down the door and are investigating it. - I still have my joke under my arm. Is there any chance that we can play our way out of this one?

We're probably going to have to try. Let's just see if we can walk out of town, and if anyone stops us, we'll say, oh, we got a gig. You want to hear the song we've been preparing? And I'll just pull something out of my hand. And we all remember our fake names, correct? Oh, yeah, Flaky Sawdust. Adelie. Everett. I'm Everett. Po.

And what's our band name? Hug Floyd. Oh, we're the Muckbed Jamboree. The Muckbed Jamboree. All right, we're all on the same page. Good, I just wanted to make sure. I was asking for your guys' sake, not my own. Let's head out. Oh, that was very thoughtful. I do what I can. We should go quickly, because if they're all out to sea, we might have some time to slip north. Well, let's move. Let's shake a leg. We hustle. Okay. With my jug under my arm.

You hustle. And as you make your way through, you see that the eerie soldiers that are in this town are once again dispersed. As the ration lines are lining up of the denizens, as the supply lines have all been cut by the taking of...

Muckbed Creek of all the supplies from the river. And you see as that you see that there are a number of Erie soldiers posted at

at every tree, but it's far less tight than it was when you entered. And as you walk your way down, you see a flapping of wings as a great blue heron flies overhead and doesn't seem to have noticed you yet. What are you all doing?

Where are we, like-- You're in the middle of town, you probably made it probably a good hour through the town, and you're nearing the edge of the clearing. Yeah, we're just heading towards the end of the clearing. We're just gonna continue, we're trying to look not suspicious, and we've got our insurance. This is Inspector, uh... What's his name? Yeah. Boogie Boogie.

Quostus? Quostus Starfall. Don't make eye contact, let's just keep moving. He knows who we are already, it's fine.

We just walk, I guess, nonchalantly. So as you just walk your way nonchalantly, you hear the flapping of wings, but it's only one set. And suddenly a flash of blue and this figure lands before you, tall and imposing. He looks down at you and he says, leaving the Eyrie as soon as you've come.

Yeah, no, I think we said yesterday that we were just making our way through. Yeah, we were here for a gig and we had a fantastic show and it's on to the next one. Yeah, I wrote a song for you. I whip my hair in back and forth. I whip my hair in back and forth. I whip my hair in back and forth. Wow. That was pretty great. Let's all get a round of applause for Peggy. The front woman of our podcast.

I was working on it last night at Two Old Cats. Can you make a Persuade and NPC roll, please? We have Twists. No, what's Persuade? What is it? Persuade is Charm, I believe. Is that my actual... Oh, there it is. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna... What do I do to twist it? What did you get? You just had one. Oh, God, that's not gonna help me. I got a four. So that would be five...

And then we could help. We could assist. I'm going to help. You could play your instruments. I went my hair in back and forth. I went my hair in back and forth.

Yeah, in a little more tempo. I went my hair in back and forth, I went my hair in back and forth, I went my hair in back and forth, I went my hair in back and forth. And that is a seven. He narrows his eyes. What do we have to mark to help? One exhaustion each. Jeez Louise. You mark your exhaustion. Is it roguish beats? Thank you so much. Is it roguish beats? You get two from me though. I don't understand.

No, this was Persuaded NPC. Oh, I thought that was Rogashpeed. Rogashpeed is his own move. So he stops and he looks at you and he says, And you are not...

Oh, and so, in order to persuade him, you are going to need to lie about the questions he's going to ask you and the information he's about to give you in order to prove that you are not a cult member of Zyrek. Okay.

So we feel like they've figured out the cult. Yes, you get the sense. I would say that you get the sense that they've figured out the cult, and he leans in and he says, The Great Inquisitor from Okak's Hollow has told us that there would be new cultures...

Coming to town the same night you did. What? What? What did you say? Cultists of Zyrag, don't play stupid with me. No, we're not playing stupid. No, no, no. I don't want to be in any town with a cultist in it. I would never have come here if I knew that you were a cultist. Oh, my acorns, cultists. But you know what? Actually, that could make a really great song. You're right. We could make a whole concept album. Yeah.

Should we noodle on it? Figure it out? Yeah. Cultists, cultists, cultists, cultists, cultists are terrorizing the town. Yeah, no, I don't think that one's going to work. I disagree. Just when I think we can't get any better, we manage to keep doing it.

It's a little bit experimental. Yeah, we've never tried anything quite like it before. But you know, I think it really fits the tone. What kind of cultists are these? Are they like spooky? Are they like kill everybody in sight kind of cultists? Yes, burn citizens alive cultists. Oh, that's terrible. Burn the citizens alive!

Why are you barking all of a sudden? No, I'm not. It's called Screamo. I heard about it. Oh. I know that we normally do, like, more folk music, but you know, as we go from clearing to clearing, we've got to change our repertoire. Who would ever like that?

- I like that. You know, I guarantee, I guarantee that those Quillboar sex dungeon folks would love this stuff. - Maybe that's the cult you're thinking of. We met these really lovely people. I mean, they kind of seemed like a cult at first, but really they just like to have fun.

What do they look like? They look like hulking quill boars who are involved in very questionable activities. They look like boars. Do they mention dragons? No, they mention sex. Yeah, a lot of it. Absolutely heretical. Well, they mention something called a dragon dildo, but I don't think that's what you're thinking of. Make a trick in NPC. No!

You have a good new trick. You have cunning. Yeah, so do other people. Oh, this is so bad. I picked the wrong

You add three. Six. We'll twist it. Yeah, we'll use another-- Seven. Seven? Okay. Seven. And so with that, he just narrows his eyes and he says-- oh yeah, that's right. They hesitate, they stumble, or they overreact.

Which one do we think? I like the shaking his confidence or weaken their morale. Because really, we just need him to buzz off. Yeah. Hey! Hey, got him! I think we would... Or if you want to make a critical opportunity, I can murder him. Okay.

Let's do that one. He hesitates. His confidence is shaken. He's weakened his morale.

and he doesn't know what to do? I have heard of the grunts and the snorts in the forest. I did not know that it would be related. I could kill him. To be fair, they're nice people. Yeah, fair enough.

- You said they have cultists, we can go and basically get them and snuff them out. - No, no, no, I was specifically saying they're not cultists, but maybe you were confused. They're lucky people. - We were saying, we were trying to write a song about cultists. They didn't like the fact that I was writing a song that was considered screamo.

And so they said, who would listen to that? And I said, oh, well, maybe those Quillboy sex dungeon people would listen to that because they were totally into all the screaming. But it was like pleasurable screaming. It wasn't like cultist screaming. I was just concerned that if you confuse these lovely folk for cultists, you might go on the wrong trail. We don't want that. They're nice. They're hospitable. And then you said, oh, well, do they have to do with dragons? And I said, well, not actual dragons. They had a dragon dildo, but I don't think that's the same thing.

And then you looked away for a second, confused. And that's where we are. Hey, Peggy. Yeah? What's your dildo? You know...

I think that's a conversation we should have further into the forest. Oh, all right. He's dangerous if it's tracking related. No, here's the pamphlet for the sex dungeon. Oh, fun life. Yeah, fun life. I already made a profile. Yeah, I think you should go to page... Oh, it was an option. I'll check that. Yeah, no, you should go to page 69 towards the back. There's an entire write-up. It's illustrated. Oh!

Grumly's eyes melt out of his socket. As Quastus just looks at you and he tilts his long neck back and forth and he says, Wandering musicians, I'll let the Marquis Zate send you to the gallows. I do not have the time. That's a horrible thing to say. With that, he backs up and flaps his wings. But you know, I do think that would make a great song to the gallows. Oh, man.

And he soars off. - I didn't talk. Yeah, I know, I just was saying it until I got out of your sight. That was great! - All right, let's keep going. We should go before he comes back. Boom, boom, boom, boom. - So we are going to make a path, the forest path travel roll. - I refuse to make this roll because my dice are cursed. - These are decay though, right? - This is exhaustion. - Okay, I can spare one or two.

Two for Death's Dragon. I can spare a lot of exhaustion and I will because y'all help me. So it will cost me an exhaustion just to travel. So I can spare one and then I will be at max. Then don't do that.

So don't use-- Don't go to max. How many do we need to use? We need to use at least four. I'll use three. Or we could just trust the heart of the cards. Yeah, nobody go to max. I'll use three and then I'm not at max. I'll use one as well, so that puts us at four. If you use one, what does that put it? I will put it at max because I'm-- Don't do it. We'll be at four, it's an even roll. Yeah. I'll roll because my dice are real good. Okay.

Roll it. He says before he gets a natural fail. Awesome. I use my magpie gains dice. You can pre-order the game today. Oh, my. I knew it was going to happen. That's all right. That's not bad. Okay. You know it could be worse. So it means on seven to nine, you encounter something noteworthy upon the path. Ooh. Oh, my. So. Oh, no. You. You.

continue to make you leave Drake Smith behind the sound of the waves and the salt air drifting away

as you make your way north and the air gets a little bit, it gets drier, gets a little bit cooler. As once again, those familiar pine forests surround you. And it's quiet, you see travelers around. You see, you manage to stay towards the tree line as the front

this battle where you've seen remnants of clashes between eerie soldiers and Marquis Zayt. Bits of blood smeared around, patches of clothing torn, scraps of metal. You find the occasional fallen coin and you make your way. The occasional tradesman is the denizens are trying to make their way back and forth, but they're few and far between. Very few denizens are willing to travel between clearings with the gusto that vagabonds are.

As you make your way for several days, you feel like the moon is nearing its zenith. It is very nearly a full moon. And you feel like it'll take maybe another half day to get to...

get to Pottsville, you... I almost did it. Mark it down. The Pinkertons here. Pinkertons, the Voracious Doom. If you were playing a turkey game, we'd make you drink. Yikes. I could use some whiskey. As you are nearly there, and hoo-hoo! And you... There are owls about. Nightfall. ...

Are we supposed to be sniffing the air? What's the matter? You feel like you're now... You're probably... You could push through the night. You're only a couple hours away from Pottsville. And you've made camp. You're sitting around the campfire, roasting what else but acorns. I love acorns. Of course.

Oh my acorns. You're sharing stories. I'm nut-tose intolerant, so I can't have acorns. I could take yours if you want. As a friend, I'll do that for you. That's so generous. Thank you so much, Hazel. You're welcome. Yeah. Oh, you have a tree nut allergy.

Oh, very important. I'm nut-tose intolerant. Hey, whoa, whoa, keep your sticky paws away from my nuts! I'm not sticky. I lived all the honey off earlier. I'm watching you. As Booker cronches on an acorn, you hear a cronch from the forest. As you hear another cronch, a crack, and

And you feel like there's a noise, there's a shifting in the forest beside, on the very edge of the woods beside you. Oh no, guys, I feel like there's a noise, like a shifting on the edge of the forest. I feel like I ate too many egg oils, run quickly away. I'll get up immediately and start growling at this. As you growl, you see the flash of moonlight, two large lights, two yellow eyes.

one yellow eye and one white slashed.

As an owl stumbles into your clearing, an old great horned owl, his eyes slashed. You see that he's covered in horrible wounds all over as if he's been tortured for days. As Jericho stumbles into your camp, he is wearing not much but rags. As he stumbles in and his one eye that's

that is good and seems to be seeing. You see that there are these shards of the bifocals that you had made him, Peggy. One is totally broken, the other still seems to be on in some strange monocle situation.

as he stumbles into the camp and he collapses onto the ground. His wings are all broken and battered, not just the one, but both of them now are wrenched in different ways as he falls to the ground and he looks at all of you.

You're all alive! Oh, my acorns! I run-- What happened to you?! Talk about a burden! Are you being chased? And I'm about to bolt into the woods with the-- I'm gonna try to put one of his arms around my neck and just like hoist him up a little bit so he's not-- Do not go, fool! There's nothing there for you but death! Gromley, come back! Oh, stop! Booker, be careful! His-- his arms look like they're all kind of broken! I'm gonna try to get him towards our fire and just get him to sit down so he's not like face first in the dirt.

He sits down on a log as he breathes. That is the third time you've saved my life. That's a lot of times now that we're counting. Are you being chased? Are we in imminent danger? No, I escaped. I escaped. I found my daughter.

Where is she? They have her. She's in Pottsville. I knew it. There are sympathizers with the Eyrie amongst the birds in Pottsville. They have her there. When I came looking for her, the Inquisitor, that Inquisitor type,

Titus! He snuck up on me. He didn't kill me. I thought he would. He decided to torture me. He knew what I... that I had told you. Secrets...

He tried to get those secrets. And he coughs up and there's blood all over his feathers. Oh, no. Do you know what a harvest moon is? Yes. Do you know how to take a left from a harvest moon? Peggy, he's in no condition. Look at him. He's puking the blood and he knows the answer. We've got to ask him before he dies. No, we can't.

- I don't know medicine. I don't know how we're gonna help him. - Can you make him a schnick for his broken wings? - I give him a, I top open a bottle of bourbon and I let him take a nice draw from it. - Oh God, now he's gonna be drunk and-- - It's all right, but just to ease the pain a little bit. - He takes a, easy, easy. - It would be better to pour that all over his wounds. - Well, you can use it, it's fine, but we gotta let him numb the pain a little. - So how do you turn left from a harvest loom?

The Harvest Moon, it's tomorrow night. That is very, very interesting. And is it going to be over Potville? They have a Harvest Moon festival. Okay, yeah. Well, I guess that's where we're going. So we're going to have to rescue your daughter.

You'll probably be dead by then. So what would you want? I'm just trying to get to the gist of it. He's not going to die. And I'd take out, I'm going to mark two decay, whatever that would be in medical support. Okay. I would say as vagabonds, you would have that.

and any kind of risk he had of bleeding out, you find some spots where he is bleeding pretty deeply, and you patch it up, and you seem to have done a very good job. It takes an hour, a full hour for you to gently kind of dress the wounds and remove the old rags. There's some spare clothes that you have in your packs

that you could feel free to give him. - Nice job, probably. Did you learn that in the military? - You're probably gonna die, and-- - I may. - So-- - Death comes for us all. - What would you like us to tell your daughter? - Tell her I'm sorry.

For being her burden. All right, Jericho, I need you to cut the crap, man. Listen to me. You're not going to die. You're going to tell her yourself and you're going to stop being a goddamn burden on everyone. But the thing is, we can't take him with us. He will draw too much attention to us. He already said that that one guy literally beat the crap and life out of him. Specifically because he knew that he told us something. So...

We are going to have to figure out how to get into this town so we can take a left at the harvest. We could vaporize the entire town. But why would we kill all the innocent people? Well, obviously, there's innocents and non-innocents. We can take out the area. Wait, did you say something so painful? Vaporize the entire city. Wait, did you find...

of the treasures. We didn't find them, actually, no. We never found the last one. Apparently there was a huge cult down there and they was killing people left and right and we just couldn't get to it. And then we got the last one, the fourth one. No, no, no. No, she's confused. The last one was lost to time. No one has it. No, we didn't find them all.

I think that the Eyrie got the last one because they were swarming. I mean, if you send the message down there to Drake Smith, you'll find out the Eyrie's swarming all over that cult. And there was a global sex dungeon. That's true. They were very friendly. So anyway, back to the main point. We've got to find a way to get in the pot, though. Yeah. Well, we can walk right in. Well, we can't not if this one guy that literally beat the living shit out of Jericho is there. But how does he know what we look like?

What do you mean? How would the guy know that it's us? Isn't it the same guy you've met a couple of times? That we've all met a couple of times? Yes! You saved me from this finale of a traveling band. We have a new identity. Yeah, but we don't actually look any different, so... What if we all swap clothes? That might help. I call Grumly's armor.

I don't think that'll help. They're still the same clones just mixed around. Yeah, because the thing is, for people who have never met us before, it's a great disguise. But for people who know what we look like, it's not a very good disguise. Well, we could just walk into Pottsville. And take a lap. And vaporize him. Well, let's say, theoretically, if we did find all of them, could we use it to save your daughter somehow, easily? Yes, and vaporize this High Inquisitor.

We definitely didn't find all of them, though, unfortunately. Well, theoretically, we did. I would be mortified to find out what great power could be wrought upon the Dimwood if all four were joined together and used malevolently. But even one relic can be used individually.

It was whispered on the winds that those who take a relic and channel on its true one power can use it locally contained. The shadows will just eat him alive. We've seen it happen. Then we should go in and save it right now.

I don't see why not. How do you know what the one true power is? But don't you think we should wait until the harvest moon because if we go in and we do it now and then we have to stay another day, reinforcements could come and then all of a sudden we're screwed and we can't go left of the moon. I don't think anyone could stop us if we wanted to take over the entire Doomwood at this point.

Booker, I don't like that look in your eye. I'm not suggesting we do it, I'm just saying I think that we have a lot of firepower on our side. You're squinting an awful lot and you're talking out the side of your mouth, you do, and you're running a gambit. Sorry. I don't know why I said gambit. I don't really know what that means. Like a con job? Yeah, what's that called? A con?

Running a con? He's a con man, look at him. Where do they have your daughter? Do you know where? In the clearing. Yes, they have it. Have her at the Bright Lantern. The Bright Lantern? What is that? Like an inn? Or a bakery, maybe? It's both. It's an inn and bakery.

How convenient. I swear to God I have that in my notes. You literally guessed it. What the fuck?

Well, we can do this a couple of weeks. Peggy, if you think we can do this stealthily, then I'm open to ideas. The what? The bright lantern. Sure, let's just walk right in and see what happens. Well, that's not stealthy at all. That's the opposite of stealthy. No, I'm just, yeah, I'm kind of a fucking kind of mood right now. If you think we could completely obliterate this entire town, I say we put on our shades and our black tuxedos and we get in a straight line and we walk in strutting.

And we just see what happens. If you're asking me what I really think, yes, I think that we could probably level the entire dimwood. I honestly true that. I would say we just, we walk in, we don't try and sneak. We just act like we're going about our business. We do pretend to be a band and see if we can get, you know, one over on people.

And if all else fails, then we go in, I guess, weird ancient artifacts to blaze in. Well, hold on, Jericho. So owls are nocturnal usually, right? Noctorious, yeah. Noctorious? Well, yes, but in a society of animal people that all need to interact in a fantasy setting, it's a little wibbly wobbly.

So, would it be stealthy, like, to go now while it's still nighttime? Oh yeah, we could just sleep. Or should we wait until morning? I believe that Titus will probably have eyes at all times of day. They do not have just him. They have a terrible, terrible, vile woman keeping her imprisoned. Who is it? Probably the witch.

It's not a chicken, is it? It smells of chicken, no. Oh, that's good news. It's a bluebird! A bluebird? Well, maybe we should get a good night's sleep somewhere rested. I think the names probably beat, Rice.

That's a terrible name. I know, a terrible name for a terrible woman. Beetlice. I mean, it's actually kind of good. I'll eat it. As my good friend Grubly once said, woof. I've said that more than once. Oh, wow. I say that daily. Well, you said it once, but you've also said it multiple times. Woof. That's what I said, woof. That's what I'm saying. That was a nice quote. Yeah, well...

This is, yeah, this is great. Do we just, like, leave you here? To die. He's not going to die. I don't know. He's really old. I mean, eventually he is, yes, going to die. Well, everyone dies sometimes, yes. And honestly, with wounds like that, the infection's probably already setting in. Now I know.

He's gonna die otherwise. We can reunite him with his daughter right away.

Or we could just send her out here and hope she doesn't die on the way. At least until she finds his dead, mingled body. I mean, I actually don't hate that. Is there any way that he can just hide out on the outskirts of town and not be found, and then we can... Yeah, can you do that? Can you just, like, shut up and not say anything stupid? Whatever you do, don't mention your bird in one more acorn-ridden time. Yeah. I just don't think that's his strong suit, because every time we see him, he's just recently been caught.

Touche. That's why I'm saying I have a burden on you. So look, I'm going to put my froggy foot down and just say that I'm not going to lose my life because this owl that's about to die out here in the forest feels burdened and gets us caught. Maybe he just hides in a goddamn log and stops talking about his goddamn burdens.

I don't think he knows any other words. You're probably right. He hit me in the head quite a bit. I bet he named his daughter Burden. That would be awful. But it's spelled B-I-R-D. Her name is Amelia. Yeah, Burden. What is her name? Amelia. Amelia. All right. Well, I guess...

What kind of bird is she? Take a guess. Well, I don't know. It's hard to tell what kind of bird you are under all of that death. A blood covered pellet. Ew. Oh no, he's not even at all.

He's a cat. He's coming up here balls. I don't want plenty She's she's an owl with great horns What

It's a people's great pride. Oh, no, they took my words. Did they? They're all smashed down. They're just feathers, right? Yeah, they're just feathers, but they don't look. He can probably fluff them back out. Yeah, no, I think it's best if you die here alone.

So are we ready to move on? That's terrible. No, you coming with us. Yeah. And I put a bag over his head. I'm pretty sure that we all said no to this. I'm going to throw my helper over to the shore. I have a great day gobbly plan. We're going to break around in the dark of night. Oh, yeah. Okay, so this is the deal. If you bring him, the moment we get to town, I'm going to scream, hey, we've got Jericho.

No, we're not going to do that. Then I think you'll leave him. That seems self-sabotaging. Why would you do that? Why can't we just hide him? Because it's essentially the same thing. He's covered in blood. He's dripping blood all over the place. Every time he moves, he goes... Bird and bird. And he often talks about his bird. There's no way. You keep the thing over him. There's no way he's not going to make a noise. We gave him spare clothes. What if we...

I didn't realize that spare clothes kept him from talking. Oh, no. Would you be quiet? Yes, I will do my best. I will stay at the edge of town, and the greatest boon we have is that during the festival, there will be such loud music and cheering and all of the revelry. You got the greatest boon, and you lost me because I thought you were going to go with Birmingham.

The greatest burden, though, is that I have put your certain death on your path. When you take him into town and he gets caught and executed in front of you, I want you to know whose fault it is. When you could have left him here where they're not looking. Hazel, I'm listening. Okay, hear me out.

Okay, so we're going to take him to the outskirts town, and then we're going to dig a hole. I'll dig it, because I'm pretty good at that. We're going to prematurely bury him, because that sounds much worse than letting him die out here for a while. That's called a shallow grave, ladies and gentlemen. See, what we do is only bury him up to here, leave his head sticking out, so...

So it's easier to chop off when someone's riding by and he can't run? Someone will say, what's that noise? And they'll go in the woods and they'll see this crazy old chopped off bird head sitting on the ground and they'll say, oh, it's a ghost. And they'll say, oh, it's terrible. And they'll run away. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Hazel. Gumball has said some stupid shit, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. That's not nice. Hazel, did you eat a poison acorn?

Hazel, I've given you a lot of lean way in this whole adventure, but that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I mean, he might actually be a ghost by the time you get there. Then he's already buried if he dies. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. So then if we should, if maybe that's a good idea, the festival's tomorrow. You know, this is something we could try. Jericho, what do you want to do?

They hit me in the head a lot. I don't want to be a burden and tell you what to do. Just save my daughter, I mean, if you want to. Okay, so you're going to stay here then and we're going to go save your daughter and let her know that you're here when we take left to the Harvest Moon.

Yep! I can... Or do you want us to bury you up to your neck right outside of town so it's easier to have your head cut off? I can bury you here. Or do you want to be buried alive here? Being buried alive is down at the bottom of my list. Your head would still be out, so, you know, you could... I would still be, by definition, buried. Oh...

Crunch berries! Oh, sorry. Shabbling! The power of mixed berry crunch! What if we just had to shove them into a hollow log?

Yeah, Jericho had a set sound. Do you want to be buried alive or shoved into a wall of log? I can just stay in the forest on the outskirts of town! That's what I'm doing! We're going to sleep here, we're going to keep a watch, and we're going to make sure that you stay in the outskirts of town. We're going to go in during the festival, and we're going to save your daughter. Sound good? Good night. And I pass. I wait until everyone's asleep, and then I want to murder an NPC. No, I'm just kidding. No!

See, I told you he was dying.

Oh my god. Well... When you wake up. You all wake up. You all wake up. It's an early morning as there is a light chill in the air. And you see this beautiful mist as the leaves that aren't the evergreen trees are starting to change color quite heavily now. Reds and golds and oranges and browns. As you all pack up. And it was...

you make your way through and as soon as you get to, you make your way back out onto the road. And as soon as you round the bend on the path, you start to hear the music.

brass music, stringed music. You hear the sound of violins and fiddles and standing basses. Probably an actual real band or multiple ones are playing. They sound a lot better than we do. Our cover is already fucked. I don't know what you're talking about. I really like I whip my hair in Beckham. You're fantastic. I'm just saying they have real instruments and I just have a jug. Thanks Peggy, Basil, and Grumley. Yeah.

As you see a beautiful, almost like a small little valley of hills and farmlands as far as you can see, with small farmhouses and small little homesteads all around this clearing as Pottsville extends out in front of you with...

However, around every single row and street and around every farm there are decorations, scarecrows propped up and decorated, pumpkins, gourds, cornucopias filled with corn and wheat.

and you just see that there is just a joyousness in the air, as you see down at the center is a large town square with a large pole erected in the center. A massive pumpkin at the very top carved into a face as strands of ribbon seem to be all cast around as townspoken denizens dance around this pole. Jericho darts into the...

Yeah, I do. Thank you. How dare you? I was gonna wait until you get in closer! Well, that was a poor play. You can't describe them doing it and not play the fucking song. With a large pole erected, title of your sex tape. That's exactly right. Thank you, her1can underscore 3. 3 underscore. You hear the singing of the townsfolk.

as they all dance around this large pole, as you see paper moons erected along with images of pumpkins and also images of skeletal creatures, skeletal cats, skeletal mice, rabbits, and foxes, but predominantly mostly mice, cats and mice. And you see, however, there's also a number of turkeys as well as this, this, this, this

area seems to be predominantly a mouse clearing, but there's a great number of cats, maybe even like native cats, and a good number of turkeys as well as the population, similar to maybe the toads and frogs of Roarwalla. As they all dance around, and you're at the edge of the clearing at this point, Jericho looks at you and says, well, I tried to avoid becoming a burden, but in the end, that is what I was most of all.

I hope death is not in your future, friends, but I am unable to save...

My daughter on my own. I'm unable to carry my own burden. And for that, I'm sorry. I take out my, uh, skinkerton dagger and I point it right at his throat. One more time! What? Say it one more time! What? Burden, motherfucker! Say it one more time! Oh, no! Now, just don't worry about it. Just tell us where the broad lantern is and we'll go save your daughter right now. I bet you I can smell it from here. It's...

That's a good point. We probably don't even need you to tell us. I think it's best that you just don't speak on us. At all. No, never. Not until we come back with your daughter, don't say another word. You just stay right here and die in peace. Goodbye now, Derrico. You ready? Goodbye. Goodbye. Beware. Beware the bluebird. Yeah, we will do that. All right. Goodbye.

What in the dim wood can that even mean? I don't know. I really feel like we should have buried him. You know, what if that blue bird is actually the witch? I think that's very unlikely. Are we even sure that this witch is real? Well, I saw it in my naked fever dream. You saw the witch? Well, no. I heard about her in my fever dream.

- I don't know, I had nothing. - You shouldn't always trust everything that you see in dreams, 'cause sometimes I eat too much honey and other sweet fruits and then I sort of get real tired and then I black out. - So every night? - Yeah, every night. - Has everyone ever told you that you might have a problem? - But have you ever actually dreamed on those nights? - Yeah, no. - Of anything other than you eating a lot of food? - Well, sometimes I do other things while I'm eating the food.

But sometimes they're just weird things and they're not true when I wake up. You know what I think? I think that if we decide to annihilate all of the dimwood and claim clearings of our own, I think that you should rename Muck Bed Creek to Muck Bong Creek and I think you should live there. That's really nice and that's a good idea, I think.

But I'm so close to my home actually, I never really realized how close we were going to be getting. Where do you live? On Canuckington. And we haven't been there yet?

No. I would like to go somewhere. Not yet, though. Why don't we just go there right now? We're, like, really close, actually. We're also, again, really close to New Felicia. And someone in the group promised me a trip. Oh, we could go there instead of all of this, too. When's all this is said and done? Why don't we go visit both places? Can't we just, like, run the birds out with the things before we give them back? No, now that we're not so close to Jericho and his dying, aged body,

I just don't feel like it's completely necessary to save his daughter as much as I think it's necessary to turn left at the moon. He was responsible for giving us the information to collect all these things. But, you know, I do kind of feel like he's a little sketchy. What if the blue bird is his daughter and we show up and all of a sudden it's like, I'm the witch and I was leading you to get these things to me or something. Then we'll vaporize her.

Oh, well. We don't even know how to use these things. I am confident when the time comes, we'll know. You vaporize that tree right there. I just don't. I can't do it right now in front of everyone. They'll see it. What he means is he doesn't know how to do it. That's not true. I know how to do it. You're walking through time. I know how to vaporize a tree, Peggy. How dare you? No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't.

And then it fades. And then it comes back in. And it fades as you're walking through the hills of the farmland. And you see that...

- As you see that the southern border of this, you had to walk past a great number of Marquis de soldiers. They seem to be on high alert as this is the festival time, but this is still a Marquis de clearing and they are bordering an Erie clearing. So you make your way as you're arguing, but you see that a lot of these soldiers have probably already nicked a few swigs of spiked apple cider.

And if you, nigga hooch. As they don't really seem to care, they're in a mood. You see that they kind of have some pastries and some fair food already in their packs and ready to go. And they're already talking about when they can dip out on their watch and go join the festivities. I'm making just absolutely crushing puppy dog eyes at everyone that I pass. They like look at you and they're like... Mulan! Mulan! As...

As you make your way through to the town square, as the large pole is dancing around and you see

You see a number of Marquis Zayt soldiers guarding, but it seemed to be, it's a throng of denizens. Predominantly mice, but there's also a few other creatures. And you see standing, almost kind of dictating as the band is playing and everyone is dancing, just kind of guiding this party is a tall, thin black cat with a large grin and shimmering orange eyes.

as he is standing on, you see what he's standing on is basically just like a wagon filled with huge pumpkins. As he stands on that, he's wearing relatively, he's just wearing a simple coat and a straw hat, but everyone seems to be doing what he says. When he says to change the song, to change their dances, people are doing exactly what he says. And the revelry is intense. As you look around this town square, what are you doing?

Wait a minute. I just had a thought. What's that? I thought, this is a Marquis 8 controlled... Yes. How the fuck does the Eyrie have his daughter here in a Marquis 8 controlled clearing? He said that there's sympathizers in the town. There's just a bunch of hidden...

Sons of guns. How are we supposed to know who's their sympathiser? We can solve the problem by vaporising all of them. Not all the area birds. Well, I don't want to go in and have the Marquis 8 killing, you know, wanting slaughter in the end. I think what we should do is just go in and take care of it ourselves. We have all the power we need.

We just gotta make sure we find her, I suppose, and then try to minimize damage. I mean, that's not really our style. We haven't really been, you know, warmongers and battlers and fighters, and I don't really intend to start now. Speak for yourself, and I've slid my halberd down. I'm far too hungry to wage war right now. Or have I killed an evil bird in far too long? You do realize what they said was probably right, is that they're probably not birds.

Well, we know there's a bluebird. The rest of them might be mice, whatever it is. But you don't know. You don't have any way to know. They're just people, probably. We're going to get our way inside and we'll figure it out. All right.

Then why don't you lead the way? Because there's no way in hell that could possibly go wrong. Do I smell any pies? I would say you sniff the air and you smell that there is absolutely the smell of baked goods all around. But you scan the tree line.

and something catches your nose. It seems to be like this smell of sweetness that seems to be overpowering everything else, and it's a little tendril of wispy Scooby Doo scent, and it lifts you up, and you hover over, and your friends follow you as you see the tall cat

that seems to be the prime figure in this town, gives you all a wave and a smile. And he tips his hat and says, "Welcome to Pottsville, friends!" As you make your way through the town, you see that there's a number of trees, large trees with the bird housing all around. But you see one that seems to be shaped like a lantern.

And there is a sign that has a lantern in the light is the shape of a bluebird standing on a loaf of bread. Not a loafer and some bread. I know.

Can I just ask if on the way to the inn, if we could have stopped and resupplied? I would say you absolutely could. I would like to spend two of my coins to clear my decay. I would say you stop, and not only is, you don't even need to go to a shop. There are so many rows and rows of vendors of these. You can get street food to kind of get your energy back. There are the hardware stores. I'm going to spend three decay to clear my two decay and one energy, if that's cool.

Yeah, of course you can do that. Basically anything you can want is all out in these stalls. I indulge. Exactly. You do that. And you see that there is actually a little stand for the Bright Lantern Bakery. And there is a young mouse slat that is selling things, but there is no bluebird.

as you make your way and you see that there is a ladder down on the stairs where this lantern-shaped building is built into the tree and around it. And you see that there's a ladder to get up that goes to a walkway all the way around. And you see that there is a

a young mouse woman climbing her way down with a little basket full of bread, and there's kind of this nice earthy smell to it as she climbs her way down and skips her way back to the festival. Does the ladder that goes up and down appear to be public? Yes, it does seem to be the entrance for the non-birds to enjoy this bakery and inn. I wish it...

I don't know where to go, there's so many smells. Oh, this already looks like a bird dwelling. If we want to go scope it out and we want to take a look at what's going on, that's fine. But if things head south, no pun intended, then we're going to get in trouble real quick. Here's the thing. We're very lucky we're in a Marquis A clearing. We're all very well respected amongst the cats. That's true. So if anything goes wrong, we're going to get outside the inn and start yelling for soldiers. So then we shouldn't.

our cards too early then, so to speak. No, I think we should go in there. Worst case scenario, we beg for help. Exactly right. Oh, I'm good at that. That's a last-ditch effort if we need to. We can nuke the entire town. You would have to know how to do it first. I know how to do it. We're not going to nuke the entire town, but we can get the help of the Marquis. I just don't think we should bring him in just yet.

Because they might kill the donor, they, you know, they've got Jericho, it's not... Worst case scenario, we beg for help. We yell for guards. All right. They know what we look like. They'll certainly have heard of our exploits and come running for help. Then we'll just act like we're boring pies and we'll take a look around. I can't believe I'm going to yell for the Marquis's aide for help. Leave the way, Grubbly.

What's on nice? What name? No, what are you talking about? I could consume the soul of every being in this clearing if I wanted to, Peggy, but I don't want to.

- I really hope that you call for help with the same conviction that you lie about knowing how to use these items. - I'm gonna take that as a compliment. And I proceed to follow Reveille towards the ladder. - You make your way up the ladder. Oh, thank you for the host, Ren. - Thank you, Ren. - And as you climb your way up, the door opens and you see a bird step out with a number of

what look like danishes for breakfast and it seems to be a wren and you see that there is a he has a backpack with a bunch of tinker's tools and there's a large clock on his back and the wren walks out to a landing and he flies away as you...

I want to, when we see that happen, I want to lean into Grumly's ear and say, and that also means that all of the birds here might not also be sympathizers. Keep that in mind. Squares and rectangles, rectangles and squares. What does that mean? I don't know what the second part was, but I think I know. Just don't kill everybody if they're birds. Got it.

You open the door and with a jingle of a bell, the smell as these rows and rows of baked goods on all around you hit your nostrils. It is hazel. It is heaven for you. They all smell very earthy. There's a strange scent to them. It gives it a unique scent to everything else. But you open the door. Not only are there rows and rows of baked goods,

goods and a counter. There's a pie case, as well as cakes and danishes and the like. You actually see that there's a full tavern. It seems to be quaint and cozy. You see a spiral staircase going up the shape of this lantern to actually four separate floors. It seems to be a pretty large, predominantly bird-populated tavern.

but there is a bar in the back and you see that there is a large plump turkey behind it. He's just wiping down the counter. I thought it was cooked.

Oh, no, he's not. He's not. You know, it's a turkey gentleman. He's a turkey gentleman. And you see bustling around and a bright white apron with the same logo as on the sign. A bluebird.

She's a woman, about probably mid-20s, not very old, but she's bustling about. She is actually walking out from a door in the back with a large tray of freshly baked scones that seem to be filled with these delicious nuts and acorns.

as she goes to a tray and places it down, puts a little price sign, and she goes back beyond the counter, and she seems to be helping a number of customers. A few mice skitter by, and a young cat child runs by with a large muffin, and

and is giggling to himself as he zips down. I wonder if they put sea salt on their nuts and berries. I don't like salty... No, that's not true. I do like salty nuts. That little one has a muffin, and it looks so happy. And I don't have any muffins. Hazel, we've... And look how set it is. We've made some money. You can purchase one using legal tender. A cat child? You can shit on my chair right now, Mike.

Also known as a kitten. It's a cat child. We're in a world of humanoid animals. Go fuck yourself. Oh, I meant to, I left that out of my announcements. Oh, yeah. Viewers, go fuck yourself. Especially Her1Can3 can go fuck himself. Yeah, no, Reed, I don't take that. Yeah, Reed can go fuck himself. Yeah, Reed, yeah.

He's our friend IRL to all of our viewers and yeah, so. No he's not. Yeah, that's true. Not anymore. He was in the new player workshop that we were getting outside of. I just love that. You have money, we've been paid. You can purchase yourself a muffin or whatever the hell that child had. I think that was, he probably got the best one and that's why I was so happy.

Why don't you find out and go pick your own best one? Should I go try his? No, you go buy your own. If you kick a child behind the knees, they fall down and drop what they're holding. Peggy! That's even below me! And I once stole candy from a baby!

Was that good? No, I felt bad afterwards. The little kitten seems to be running around the plank, just holding his muffin, eyeing, and he's very happy with it. Hazel, just purchase yourself a muffin. Hazel, just use your coins to purchase yourself... I got the best muffin! Hazel, purchase yourself a big cornbread muffin! Oh, it tastes like nookington fruits! Ah!

You know what you could do? You could try to give the kitten something. I'm sorry, the cat child. You could try to give the cat child something in payment for it. That's a good idea. Hey, cat child! You're going to wait for him to come back around. Yeah, I have a muffin! Yeah, okay, come here. Yeah, okay. I've heard very dark stories, you see. I come from the woods.

And there's a terrible muffin plague about. Is that why you smell like a dirty old bird? That's exactly why, you little shit. And there's terrible things coming for you.

Anybody who eats a muffin of that ilk. Drink him NP0, please. I'm glad I like tricking you. Oh, no. You're the one that smells like a little shit. I got two threes, and what's a trick? A chow. Oh, no, trick is cunning. Cunning. Okay, eight.

-Aid, how does that work? Trick an NPC. -Hey, cat child. -They hesitate, they stumble, they overreact. Or you can help. -I'm going to help Hazel. And I'm gonna walk over, I'm gonna pretend like I'm-- I'm gonna just take a little bit, 'cause I don't need a little care, a little bit of dirt, and I'm gonna sprinkle it on top. Oh, yeah, I'm really wor-- I just put some poison on that.

Okay, that's to eight. No, that's to nine. So a ten will be a complete success. Someone else wants to help her. I want to help, but I haven't thought of a clever way to actually help. So you tried to convince them that the muffins are poison. You tried to actually sprinkle fake poison on the muffins.

Yeah, no, you can't eat that. I had to put the neutralizing poison on there. So if you eat that, you're going to turn into a... It's all your own good, you know. You'll turn into a vulture. Use a routine. Because I can't do anything clever in the RP sense. Yeah, you twist it. You do that, and so as soon as the dirt goes on it, your knee looks up. My pupils are fully dilated. Oh! You smell like

like a dirty old bird you must be from the forest. And he cries and he sprints off in the direction. You hear him trip and tumble. I mean, yeah, we just stole from a kid, but you're really mean. This is not reflective of who y'all

people. He skids his knees. And he tumbles towards the hole where the very dangerous drops. And he catches himself and he scrambles and very barely climbs down. As Hazel's watching this, I'm going to stick my tongue out and beat them up. You know, I'm really sorry, but you gotta learn somehow you can't steal things from other people. It sucks, doesn't it?

I'm gonna attack you, but I won't do it. I reach out and grab Peggy by the throat and shoot the half-chewed stuff into my own mouth. And then I come to and I didn't really do it. I'm a fimbrenzi.

You actually give like a good handful of muffin that wasn't saliva. It was all in her dream. She was saying she imagines doing it and then like comes to it. Oh my gosh. Peggy almost killed you. I'm at the front counter. Do you serve hog licking here because I need a lot. Oh yeah, you can get some from me. And you see the boo boo returns you. It's like, how are you darling?

- Hey, darling. - Are you a bakery? - Yeah, of course. - Can I buy two muffins from you? - That's what I'm here for. - And I'm gonna give her the gold for two muffins. - Okay. - Here you go. See, that was easier than tricking a kid, huh?

It's almost as if I suggested that from the start. You can go talk to Mr. Lurkey in the back. Mr. Lurkey? Yeah. Oh my god, your name's a turkey. Lurkey the turkey. I'm gonna make it a double and I just like walk over to Lurkey the turkey. What's your name? My name's Belinda.

Hi Belinda. Oh, you know, I read a story once about this person named Belinda who was in an inn and got completely torn apart. That's a terrible story. That's a horrible story. Her last name was Bluebell, which is very close to Bluebird. I think her last name was Bluebird. Oh, maybe it was Bluebird. I thought it was Bluebell. I don't know. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter at the end of the day, but I just thought you should know that.

Well, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Yeah, you know me too, but you just never know. Would you like any? She was an innkeeper. Oh. Yeah. Did she have a bakery too?

No. If she had, that might have saved a life. Oh, well, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Well, if you need anything else, darling, just let me know. We got everything, and we got a special sale going on for the Harvest Festival. And our booth has the same prices. What's the sale? The sale is half off everything. Half off? Do you mean we pay full price, but we get half of the item? No.

So it's like half the item's free. No. Half the price. For a full item or for half of it? For a full item. Oh, okay. I thought you might just be cutting things in half and selling them.

Only full items. And Booker goes over and the turkey pours him a double. And just from the other side of the bin, I'm like... Oh, I totally get it now. A little early, but I like that. Bang, another. I see why you

I guess I'll chop off old Mr. Lurkey as well. You like the fun of the waddles. Cheers, Mr. Lurkey, cheers. Keep them coming, Mr. Lurkey. While all this is happening, I want to take out, like, stealthily, I'm going to go under my pack, take out some of Jericho's old disgusting, filthy rags, and sniff them. Ew. And see if I can, like, then do the...

and see if I can smell something kind of similar. - I would say, can you give me a, read a 10 situation or trust, 10 situation, I think. - Oh, what do I add? Cunning.

It's a six. How come? Do you have a twist? Should I use the last twist? Well...

If we want to make the final sequence more fair, more in Mikey's favor, I suppose. That's up to you. Fuck it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Right? Fucking do the thing. Fucking do the thing. So you get one question. What makes sense based on... What should I be on the lookout for? What should I be on the lookout for? I think that's a great one. I will say, what should I be on the lookout for? You take it.

You sniff through the air, and you sniff around, and you walk, and then you get the scent. You catch it. You walk, and you go towards Booker, and you go back around, and you go towards the ladies, and then you go back towards Booker, and you go back around to the ladies, and you go back towards Booker. And a few little laps, and then you smell it. And then you walk up, and you get the scent. It's...

Coming from upstairs. The spiral staircase. It's leading you upstairs if you care to go sniff around. Yes, I would. Okay. While everything's happening. You sniff around, you make your way to the second floor. The third floor. It goes up to the fourth floor.

And then you see down at the end, there's a number of rooms all around. And there's a room down at the very end of the hall, not visible from this internal balcony. And it seems to be coming from that room. Hmm.

Are we with him, or did he go for himself? You can join him if you'd like, yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go back down. I'm still at the bar. Yeah. Because, I mean, it's like I'm not snooping. Yeah. So I...

I will come back down and I'll go to everybody. Hey, I think I know where she's being held. Or at least where he was being tortured. We need to be very careful about where and when we start talking about this, Grumly. Can we have a private chat somewhere? Maybe not in this establishment, but sure. Why don't you just follow me? Okay, I'll follow you, yeah. Fair enough.

You can just bring it. I'm still lucky to go. I'll be back. Don't worry. I'm coming back. No game. He loves waddles. Oh, does he? I got a big one. The biggest I've ever seen. A real big one. Dear acorns above, I know when I like scare for a while.

It did cause a twist, Norriswatch. They are out of their root tea, is what we re-flavor. You all manage to find a spot away from prying eyes and ears, and you are able to discuss amongst yourselves as you've gotten a full layout of the land. As you hear the music start to intensify, and it's about midday at this point, and most of the people have rushed towards the town square.

Got it. What are you all doing? I will... Grab me, what's going on? ...lead everybody up to the door. And before we get too close, say, It's in that door right there. Why don't we all go up and listen and try to sense what's going on in this house? What's in that door right there? I just, I smell it. Whatever Jericho is being held off against through that door. I smell some of these filthy, disgusting, bloody rags.

And it left me here. Oh, well. Thank you for sharing. Because I gave him some spare clothes. All right, so you think that we can just figure out what we're going to do, bust in there like the gangbusters? Well, everybody's left. It's like, oh, we're far up. We can be as quiet as we can, but let's at least listen. And if we get found breaking and entering into someone's...

chambers, then we can still call for the Marquis 8 for help and they're not gonna say, "Oh, we were expected, we were working for the Marquis 8!" And what's our excuse for breaking and entering? To stop what you replied! Alright? What's the matter? You're drunk! Oh. What? What?

Hazel, I am disappointed in both of you. It would be a wonderful con. You just pretended to be drunk. You're swaying, Booker. I happen to have one drink before noon, and all of a sudden... You forgot the other couple. It's a party! Look around! I'm allowed to have one drink. Hold on.

way there's nobody oh oh sorry i mean look out the window oh there's a party going on okay so then grumly you're just gonna break down the door then no let's listen in the door i'm saying i'm gonna let this little dog flap ear and like what do you hear what do we all hear so as as as grumly walks up you see you hear uh belinda's voice call out uh do y'all need a room

Oh, yes, absolutely, we do. We apologize. How much would that be? And I go into my pack to find some gold as I'm trying to let them listen, and I'll intercept her if I can. Okay. She's kind of walking around, and as soon as you poke your head out around, she stops. I apologize. We were looking, just checking what the accommodations were like. We wanted to procure a room if it was up to standards, if you know what I'm saying. She looks a little suspicious at you. Make a persuaded NPC roll. Okay.

Uh, it's an eight. An eight. Okay. Um, uh, they're not sure, but, uh, I think if you probably go down and meet her and distract her and offer, uh, extra, she probably just would, would do that. I, I basically, as I see her like walking up to me, I pull out my sack of coins and like, very, very, uh,

openly brandish them to be like, oh, we're looking to spend money here. We'd be happy to take one of your final rooms. Please, let's discuss the front desk. Okay, let's discuss business. And she takes it and she seems to be totally distracted. Her eyes go to the coins. The three of you are up there. Grumly, your ear flap is held up as you listen in. As you... As you listen in...

You hear a soft cough. It's like the ruffling of feathers beyond the door. Do we think anyone's in there? No.

Yeah, because someone's coughing in there. I think somebody is likely in there. Are you asking whether there's more than just the coughing person in there? Yeah, that's what I was asking. Oh, I don't know, because I didn't hear anybody but the coughing. We should hurry up before Booker gets back with it. Can we get somebody to pick the lock?

Is it locked? You try the door. You try and it is locked. Don't you have some way to like deal with locks easily? Um, yeah, I'm going to try to rack a mechanism a lock. How does that work? How do you recommend an ism?

I'm getting a roll for it. And Booker, you pay her. She kind of bustles off, seemingly have to have been distracted. There is kind of a lingering glance. A 10. A lingering glance on you as you make your way back up. Booker arrives. And Peggy, describe the tools that you're using in order to pick this lock.

I pull a little bobby pin out from under my bonnet and I open it up and I stick it in and with one fingers, one fingers, multiple one fingers, I turn it until you hear click and then click and then with my teeth, I grab another one and I... I undo it. And you...

Peggy, whose bobby pins are those? Mine now. You don't have any hair, do you? No, but I keep them under my bonnet. They're like a hundred bobby pins that fall out. I collect them whenever I can find them. And the door, the hammer gets knocked and the door unlocks. And I almost kind of say, eh.

Open very slightly. Give me one second. And I'm going to jolt in, close the door, and immediately take off my clothes. Oh, man, I'm so exhausted. Oh, no, I'm in the wrong room. Is anybody in there but the one person? You make your way into the room.

I don't know, she became ridiculous. You sprint into the room as you start undressing. And as soon as you start undressing, you just see a crumpled form on a dirty bed, a bloody wooden chair with broken ropes, a shattered window that is now covered up in a tarp.

as you see the feathers of a young female great horned owl as she seems to be chained to this bed. I'm going to open up the door. It's just her. You can come in as I start putting my clothes back on. Who is, I needed a marching order for the order that you go into the door. I'll go after Betty. I'll go for, oh, okay, yeah. Am I even there? Yeah, you're back, you're back. Then I'll just, I'll be last, I suppose.

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You're making your way up a little delayed and you got kind of a weird feeling from Belinda and not just Belinda but also Mr. Lurkey as soon as you left and he mentioned his waddle he went to he left behind the barn and started walking out and he was returned he returned while you were negotiating with Belinda. Okay. As you make your way up you

you hear the jingle of the bell as your compatriots are almost making their way in. And as you peer down, you see a feathered figure enter the front door. Tall.

Feathered. What does that look like? Missing one eye as the barn owl steps through and you have enough time to just barely dart, if you'd like to, up the stairs and get into the room. With the rest of them? Yes. Yes, absolutely. Yes. Yeah, yeah. If I get without being seen, that's absolutely what I would like to do. And so as you do that, I would like you to make an attempt to roll his feats. That's not my best move. Is it basic?

Yes. It's a... Sorry. No, it's not good. Sorry. It's a finesse. A silent death. No, it's not. This is named as Titus. My finesse is a minus one, so I got a five. A five. Okay. So... Yikes. Yeah, that's not my... That's a yikes. Okay. That's a fail. So you sprint your way up.

And you get into the door and you slam it. And it echoes through this bakery and tavern. You still hear the music outside. You all see now this room. And you see that there is a table with a leather skin rolled up on this bloodstained table besides this chair. As there is this weak...

breathing young Greyhorn Dall. Are you all right? And I'm going to run up to her and try to smash the chains with my weapon. I'm going to go straight for the leather rolled up thing. You go straight for the, uh, Grumman, you run up and I say, uh, is there any role that you would do for that as, uh, uh, I could kill an NPC role.

Some crash and bash or whatever. I would say that with... I would say just make a... Wreck something. Yeah, wreck something. Oh, wreck something. Wreck something. Make a wreck something attack. And that's a... For you, it's a mine. Peggy.

You make your way to the leather wrapping. Can I assist you? Well, I can't because I'm doing something else. You pull up the leather wrapping and you basically have tons of torture instruments and implements. Unfurl.

And you see that is, you have it now. Oh, great. I need these. I'm going to roll back up and put them in my pouch. Hey, buddy. What are those for? Well, obviously they're for torture. And if anyone runs in here, I'm going to play the part of the mad doctor who's ready to extract some things from this creature. I also don't want to alert anybody, but...

I saw our friend and I think he may have seen me as well as I'm not the most stealthy individual. What the hell is Jericho doing in town? We told him to stay at the end. We should have buried him to the neck. Wrong friend. Well, you guys are really my new friends. Hi, I'm Quizito. Oh, it's Gene O'Donnell. Oh, shit. Well. And I'm just like holding the door like my hands are on the handle. Does he follow any of you?

I'm just worried you may have seen me. I'm sorry. I'm going to peek out the door and see if I see you. So how was that? I rolled a seven, so I'm imprecise and dangerous. I cause collateral damage, attract attention, or end up in a bad spot. GM's choice. I would say that you smash and smash and smash, and seeing someone, this poor girl,

in danger, your emotions overcome you, and you manage to cleave and cleave all of the chain shatter and rattle. However, it's a loud ruckus, and as soon as you finish, you scoop up this girl outside. Booker, you hear a...

of talons hitting the railing outside and then landing onto the floor. No, put it on the bed, you dummy. Get under the bed. I'm going to dive under the bed. Okay. Is there shit? Put it on the bed.

What else is in the room? There is a bed. There is a long table. There is a chest in the corner. And you see that there is that chair and there's a large dresser as well. I'm going to hide in the dresser. Okay. We all...

I'm so sorry, I say to the girl, and I start rubbing her blood all over my stuff and my face, and I put on some glasses that I have in my pack, because I do, and then I unroll the thing next to her, and I just pull out a couple of the instruments, cover them in the blood, and I stand there. Okay. Did you say you were good? Yes.

Yes, there were curtains. Okay. I'm going to hide behind the curtains. Okay. I would like one of you to make a tempt roguish feet roll. Excuse me. To see how well you're stealthing. Whoever's hiding. Okay.

- I'm not hiding, so. - I'm not hiding. - I'm not hiding, so. - Is it a group rule? How do you wanna do it? - I would say one person can choose to roll for-- - Who has the highest finesse, other people who are high. - Yeah, no, I would say her. - Yeah, mine's a minus one. - That's her main stat.

11. So you all dive in. Booker dives into the closet, closes it. Peggy, you're standing there covered in blood. As grumbly, the bed kind of goes up and then sinks down as you get underneath the frame. And Hazel just slides behind the curtains. I'm going to make eye contact with this girl. Follow.

my lead, all right? You're terrified of me, got it? I don't even know if she's unconscious or not, but I say that. While I'm hiding, I'm going to have my dagger in both hands. Okay. Ready. Okay. So, um, the door, uh, the door steps, uh, the door handle, uh,

You feel it rattle and then turn and open. And you see that, you see who Jericho calls Titus. This large and imposing, heavily armed barn owl steps in and looks at you with his one blazing eye as he looks at you. I'm gonna look up and I'm gonna wipe my face and blood smears across it. What the hell are you doing in this place? Can't you see I'm busy?

Who are you? Fernie. Mad genius Fernie, and you better get out of here before I got your blood on my hands. I'm going to try and look as wild as I possibly can. Torture's not for the weak! Now shut up. And I'm going to go and I'm going to make it look like I'm cutting at her, but I'm not actually. Make a persuasion check. Oh, God. Why? Oh, no, that'd be a trick. Yeah, trick. Which one's trick? Connie, that's what you want. Oh.

Seven. Yeah, seven. Seven is... Choose one. They hesitate. You shake their confidence or weaken their morale. He... Do we want her dead?

completely dead, or just wrathfully tortured. - He looks like he was going to draw his sword and come to blows very quickly. And as that, he narrows his eye and he steps closer into the room as he's looking all around and he says, "No, we don't want her dead. "Did Belinda not fill you in? "Who are you and why is a frog here?"

I told you my name's Fergian when you're a wicked genius. The smell of blood incites you with all kinds of ideas. You oftentimes don't fully listen to the specifics. He steps forward and he eyes you as he walks around the room. I'm gonna wipe some blood on my hands. You wanna smell it? It's fresh. Don't move.

And he sniffs the air. Did I fart? Sometimes I get excited. He looks around and he steps as he's now kind of hesitating. He's now just hovering his wing on a sword. You're the big boy they talk about. Yes. I can tell by that cut on your eye. And he steps. Did you see a raccoon go by? In this room?

No, I've been busy looking at her open wounds. He looks around. Up until you walked in here, that door didn't open. He looks at you and then he steps towards the dresser. As he looks around the room. Who are you and why are you here? I literally told you that two times already. Bernie! Bernie!

And I'm here to find the best ways to torture someone. Did Belinda hire you? Is that that ugly old blue bird downstairs? Make a trick and NPC, Will. Is it able... Are we able to, based on our conversation here, where they are on the run? Yeah, so he is basically in between you and...

and Peggy right now. His back is turned towards you as he's talking to her. - An 11. - An 11. So he-- - Why don't you head on downstairs and ask her if you're not sure what I'm saying. I'm a little busy here with my instruments. I've got things to do and I've got someone else to see later. - Well, I'm going to talk to Belinda, but I have soldiers downstairs.

And if you are not on her payroll... I'm busy, friend. Go ask her. You're going to wish...

Then I killed you the second I stepped in there. You haven't seen what I can do. The second I hear him step away. And he steps away and he goes towards the door. As soon as I hear him step away, I kick open the thing with my dagger in hand and I go right for his kidneys and I attempt to use the move murder. Make a murder roll. This is our first murder roll. As he is distracted and has been tricked twice.

When I try to murder a vulnerable NPC at intimate range, I roll with cunning. Okay. With those tricks... On a hit, your foe dies. He would have had his sword drawn and would have been on guard, but because he put his sword away, he is now vulnerable, heading towards the door. So on a 10+, I remain hidden, or I clear a path for my allies. Your choice. He's fucking dead. How do you want to do this?

basically as Booker, who's someone who's like, basically he's, he, I'm like in the cupboard hearing all this happen. And I want to be like, Oh, I didn't want it to come to this, but I hear him walking away. I literally kick open the wardrobe, jump out. I looked for where it would be like his vital organs and his lower back. And,

and I drive the dagger up and in. - So he's so confused by this-- - Ferdy. - This Ferdy business, but with the gusto that she had and blood being all over her and just a lack of explanation, you get the sense that he's not just like a senseless brute and he only kills when he has to and he needs to and he turns, he's completely distracted and the first

The moment he takes a step, Booker, you notice that, and you leap forward, not really even sure what to do, but you look and you see an opportunity. He doesn't even have the time. You just see the side of his ruined white eye as you sink the blade deep. It pierces through his kidney up into his heart. His lips are... And the whole time... I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Blood spits up. Oh!

And coats the side of this room, and his one good eye rolls back, loses focus, and slumps onto the ground. Blood pools out as you've killed Titus. I'm visibly shaking. Okay, so now what we're gonna do, so sorry about that weird blue bird girl, we're gonna pull his body into the bed. We're going to, I've got some blue...

pigment in my pack. We're going to dye him blue and we're going to make him look like he has horns or whatever color she is. Peggy, why are you so calm? Well, because I'm covered in someone else's blood and I get really calm. Great job. That was so horrible. I know. I just was worried. It's not

- In one fell swoop, well done, that's very impressive. Amelia, you're right. - Stop, no, Jo! - Okay, I need you all to shut up, okay? 'Cause we gotta do this right now. It doesn't matter whether she's all right. Someone's gonna come looking for him soon. We gotta get him in this bed, we gotta make him look like he's her so we can get her out the window or something and get the hell out of here 'cause we're gonna die otherwise. - Okay. - What color are they?

So she is kind of a darker brown. He is more of, he has shades of white and more of like a tawny amber color. So we are going to get him real dirty. We're going to make him look like her. We're going to make him look like he's got the Horndale features. And then we're going to cover him in blood and...

Shackle him to this bed. We better go quick. I'm going to clean off my dagger, like, on his clothing, because I don't know what else to do with it before I, like, tuck it away. And then I'm going to try to, like, help Peggy, like, drag his body towards the bed. But I'm, like, shaking very badly. I promise I will make you feel better about it later in the best way that I can. I don't believe you. Yeah, I know. That's probably for good reason. Oh, help me.

And as I'm helping, I'm going to feed around and see if I can steal anything after I'm done. You make a attempt to rogue his feet as you all manage to do this. And we're going to take the clothes off of her and put them on him. You do that. And you swap the clothes. You pick up this girl. As soon as she sees you, her eyes kind of flutter open. And she says, Father. And then she kind of falls back asleep unconscious. Good.

And Grumly grabs her. You swap the clothes. You take the corpse of Titus and put on that same kind of grayish, whitish, filthy dress and put him back. The cover is back on there. Try to arrange the chains so it would look like nothing is very wrong. And you manage to steal... 13? Yeah, 13. You...

You pat around, you find a large sack of coin, and you find a rolled up missive.

You find a pocket watch. And you find a key. Let me find out who the good guy is. Yeah, right? Holy shit. Like his family is in the pocket watch when I open it. I've been planning this shit for two weeks. You find a key. I didn't think it was going to happen this way. I managed to tell. Okay. And so with that, you are easily able to... The window had been broken out. You imagine that's how Jericho got out. And you imagine that...

his daughter probably wasn't there at the time, as he escaped and you are all able to escape out of that window with the covered tarp as you all shimmy down the side of this inn. You're all vagabonds, so you can scale your way down with Amelia and

You're very lucky that the direction has been turned towards this festival at the center of town. And as you're leaving, you hear something. And you hear the door open from outside. And you say, Oh, uh, Tannis?

- Oh, guess he left. She's still here. - And closes the door as Mr. Alarkey apparently was fooled by your trick and walks away and you shimmy on down. You are now at the edge of the clearing.

the great expanse of the verdant farmlands of Pottsfield to one side and then the looming forest behind you. That was absolutely brutal, what you did there. I know. I know. I was expecting that he was going to walk out and then I was going to yell at you that we all needed to grab her and just go as quick as possible. I never expected he would jump out of the cabinet and just take his life from you and then he fell through. Why did you do that? I didn't see.

- You're gonna get us all killed. - It was well done, you saved everybody's lives. - You think so? - Yes, you're a hero. - I'm gonna read the missive. - And I feel like a hero. - If Hazel showed it to everyone. - It gets easier. - Would you have shown us all the missive? - I promise, Booker. - Oh yeah, I'd probably be like, "I took a bunch of stuff to make it easier to carry him over to the bed and some of it's pretty good, but here's this piece of paper."

I'm gonna read it. I don't care who it is. You read the missive.

And it was... Yeah, this is not going to be good. I'm a saint, and I take care of orphaned children, and I'm a good guy. This girl was beaten by a strangled man that kept saying Burton. Oh, no! You have a missive. It is from the despot

Vost. The D-Pod? The D-Pod. Vost, the vulture that rules the Eyrie. That is ordering Titus to be done with this game.

Jericho can no longer help us. We were on the right track. Kill the girl. Oh. Oh, shit.

Well, he was planning on killing us, so there's that. But what if this thing about Jericho can no longer help us? He was their whisperer, the master of secrets, or whatever he called himself. Oh, God, I'm unclean. Maybe. Maybe.

They were beating him to figure out where we were. What? What? What? No, she's got a good point. What if they were using him to track us? Or what if they were using him to get us to get all of the things and now that we have all of the things, he's done his job. No, I think the point is that because they're all gone, he wasn't useful anymore. They wanted to keep her alive because they thought that he knew where these relics were.

Yeah, is that the first time you've ever killed someone before? 'Cause that's the first time I've ever watched someone die in such a brutal way. I mean, I killed some of the Skinkertons, but it's because they shot me first, and they deserved it. That guy, I mean, I guess we can make a justification because he was gonna kill that poor girl, but... I think he better. He never even saw it coming!

That was the best part. Explanation. Well, I mean, he was still mostly together. Booker. Here's one of my special berries. Eat it. It makes you feel better. What the fuck is this? I don't know.

I found it in the woods, but it smells pretty good. I just, like, put my hand back out and let it drop to the ground. The berries! They bounce a little bit. They're a little dusty. You managed to get them mostly clean, but edible enough for you. Oh no, not the berries! It's probably one of the stolen Harry's berries. So now we just gotta find Jericho. So I'm holding her in my arms.

And I'm just going to start, like, wittily in a low voice, like, Jericho! Jericho! Where are you? You wander the edge of the clearing, and then eventually you hear the snapping of leaves as the shape of Jericho emerges from the forest. Is this your daughter? He looks, and he runs over, ignores you, hobbling. And he's...

Amelia, my child! - You didn't. - My child! - Be quiet! You shut your mouth. If you say burden one time, I'll kill you over my body. - She's gonna be okay, she's safe. - And you both have to get the hell out of here now. - My child! - Yeah, they were gonna kill us, so you should get out. - You see her eyes flutter open and they make eye contact. - Is she like a kid or is she like-- - She's like a young woman, probably like 23-ish, 22-ish. Yeah, no, she's not a kid.

As he grabs her and he's like, my child. How can I thank you, vagabonds? You could shut up and just get out of here. No, wait. What do we do? Do we still have to do the thing that we said? Yeah, we gotta go. We gotta find the harvest moon and then we gotta take a left. This isn't over yet. And we can't do that with you, you know, being all up in our business, so...

Get safe. If you know anything important that we should know about Harvest Moons or anything else, otherwise, you just go get safe. The Heart of Darkness. Can they take refuge with the Mocky's Eight and name drop us for safety? I want to know what you're going to do. Yeah, why don't you go to Muckbed Creek? Get as far away from here as possible. No, we should take you to the Mocky's Eight right now. I think you should go to Muckbed Creek and you should find one Gene O'Donnell and you should tell him that you met with us and that...

We are going to pay for your room double if he lets you stay there safely. They can't travel like this and stay. We also have to do this tonight. We don't have time. Harvest the moon. Where's the nearest field hospital? I think it's right down the road. Maybe there's a group of people that can get them to New Felicia. We're going to take them to the nearest field hospital. We will let them know what's going on inside that inn, and they can all be...

taken care of by the Marquis they need to know what's going on under their nose I just want to make sure that Jericho and his kid was alright you're gonna be alright

Follow me. And I want to take them to the nearest field hospital. You take them to the nearest field hospital. There's a number of sick people, maybe a lot of people that maybe drank or ate too much. The mice that are running this with a number of Marquis 8 cats as well, take them in. And you fill in the constable of this field hospital. And he immediately runs. And he's going to go get the mayor. He comes back. And you see that familiar black cat.

with the straw hat. You fill him in on everything that's been happening. And he says, I always knew there was something suspicious. Y'all can... And Jericho promises to give whatever information that they want if they'll offer protection. And he says, well, that is a modified trade. I think I'll be quite the stand in here, friends. And they...

to patch both of them up. They each have a bed and he calls in more soldiers to keep extra watch on them in case there are any more eerie loyalists. They both thank you profusely. The daughter says, I don't know who you are, but you saved me. Yeah, Booker here committed a murder for you. We don't have to mention that. Please just let that go. He deserved it.

- What? - And you say, "Oh, my child gets some sleep," and she kind of nestles in and goes to sleep. - I'm so glad you're okay. You're gonna be safe here. - There's this numbing thing you have to do when you can do a horrendous crime, where you have to keep saying it over and over again until it doesn't make you feel weird anymore. - How many times have you done this? - Oh, I've never killed anyone, but when I was young, I didn't like the term pussycat, so I just kept saying pussy over and over and over again until it didn't make me cringe.

Oh. Mayor, what's your name? My name is Methuselah. Mayor Methuselah. That sounds like a demon. Please do what you can to keep these two safe. He looks at you and just grins and gives you a wink. Cool. I like that a lot. And just let us know if there's anything we can do. We have to go right now, but just please do what you can and we'll be right back.

Well, we're going to be partying all night if you need a bed to sleep in. All right. You're always welcome here at Pottsville. I'll see you all around. You'll both see a lady have a fun devil guy, bye. And he walks out. He gives you another wink and a grin as he leaves. I liked him a lot. He seemed like the kind of guy that would jump out of a wardrobe and slice someone through the kidneys until they die. Oh, no. But he's the mayor of a town, which means it works out well for people. My mayor could be mayor.

I don't want to be the mayor. I just want a little house on the edge of the clearing where there's water so I can fish. That's all I want. I just want to be done with all this. We're almost done. We just have to go to the Harvest Moon and take a left at it. Let's go to the east. Oh no, why is my thing going to YouTube all of a sudden? And Jericho looks at you like, you have freed me from my burden. And now your burden is yours to bear. I wish you the best of luck. Let me say that one more time.

Goodbye, vagabonds! Goodbye, heroes! And he leans down and he falls asleep. And the nurses attend to him at the field hospital. And you all make your way out toward the edge. Show them where we're headed. So we're gonna go fucking east. We're gonna...

Into the heart of darkness. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. I can't click the raccoon. Oh, boy. You had it, I thought. No? He keeps getting it. So you get it. Because we're like 20 feet away. There you go. There you go. We're going to go roughly there. We're going to go roughly there. So let's make a woodland travel route.

- Oh, no, they're both left. - So with my defender nature, I clear my exalt from Shag when I defend someone who cannot defend themselves. - 100%. - Correct. - 100%. - I also, do I get clubbed over looting the dead bones? - I would say that's fine. - Okay. - That's fine.

Just make a quick woodland travel roll. And so that is basically, that's decay. As you make your way towards the heart of darkness. I can look at my decay. I definitely, I could do two decay for this. Five, six, so we're plus two. Plus two? I marked one. I think we should do plus two. And you marked two? Yes. Okay, let's fucking do it.

I think we should not have to fight on our way to fucking... I mean, that's a six, so what the fuck...

That's at least an eight. So it's nine. It's a nine. That's it. We can't add any more to it unless we have a twist of fate. We do have a twist. You do. I think. Let it ride. I think this is the time to use it. We do not want to get into a fight on the way. Exactly. Right? No fucking way. Especially because I only have one exhaustion and two decay left. And even a seven to nine in the forest is still like bad news. Yeah.

- I agree. - Like, let's just-- - Thank you so much. - You make your way through the forest, leaving the pleasant partying and drinking and eating and music behind into darkness and potentially certain doom. - This music doesn't feel like certain doom music though. - I don't know, this feels like-- - That's the party.

This is like... I just, I feel, I don't feel like you just murdered someone, Mike. So, you finally, you leave the parting behind. The festivals, the bluegrass music. As you make your way through the forest and sun has set, the great harvest moon above you shines down, indifferent to your plight. As...

The revelry fades away as you creep through the forest, deeper and deeper into the heart of the dimwood. As you make your way, you travel for several hours, and the tree cover gets tighter and tighter, denser and denser, until the rays of full moonlight are no longer shining through the canopy. It's dark. As you make your way through, you hear something. Grrr!

As you hear the clashing, you feel like you're tired, but you all

all reach into your packs and you have a kettle of root tea. You all pour yourselves a root tea as you down it and you start sprinting your way as you see through the forest two massive bear creatures. Humanoid with axes battling. They're in leathers and you see a smaller bear besides cheering them on. Toilet paper steps to the bottom.

on its foot. As you see three barbarians in the woods and two of them are battling and you feel like you could have gotten in the middle of that. The battling and clanging of the barbarians behind you. The forest gets denser and denser. And then you see a tiny ray of moonlight.

You've been going for hours after you've seen the Barbarians, but you haven't seen a ray of moonlight in hours. And it shines through and illuminates something that catches your attention. Something in the trees. A bundle of sticks and twigs and wicker tied in a strange pyramid formation hanging from the woods in this strange... It's not quite a pyramid, actually. It seems to be a figure. It seems to be like a stick figure made out of wicker and sticks with antlers.

rising up almost like a strange doll like a wicker doll hanging with antlers rising up and you continue as you creep more and then you see another one the moonlight shining down there is a witch in here

So whatever you want to say about my naked fever dreams, they're at least coming true because we made a left at the Harvest Moon and we're... Whatever, they're both L's. It was straight. You walked just straight near the forest. No, we didn't. Shut up. I'm trying to tell a really dark story in the spooky forest, all right? So we walked and now we're seeing all these Wicca dolls, which means...

There's a witch in this forest. And that was really all I was going to say. What if there's just somebody who really likes dolls? And they hung them up for good times. If they really liked dolls, they would be at their home playing with the dolls, not hanging them up from trees. But those are pretty creepy, so maybe they made them and they said, oh, I'm really proud of this, but it's also scary. I better go hang it out in the woods. You're a really strange chipmunk. I'm glad that you're with us, but I really don't get you.

Oh. But I'm really glad you're with us. Oh, me too. I'd probably be alone and dead in the woods if I didn't find you guys. And now that I've found you guys, I might die alone and dead in the woods. Well, you won't be alone. You'll be with us, but there will be a witch that kills us. Oh, boy. Yeah. All right. It's all right. It's all right.

But at least we'll all die without blood on our hands. Well, Grumly killed like 18 skinkatons, but I don't want to start pointing fingers at this guy. At least 18. But were they facing him at the time? No, half of them were running away in sheer terror. You should have seen it. He crashed and we tried to bring the whole fucking place down on him. Well, two of us will die without blood on our hands. Clear consciences. Ah!

I don't know if I would go that far, but... To be fair, she probably bankrupt old Mutz's face with the berries. Oh, no, no. And now he's going to die starving in the gutter. Really, what I did for him was free him from the opposite. Oh, you paralyzed and ruined Phil's life. Who's Phil? Who's Phil? My point exactly. He's dead in the dirt. The bones forget. Oh, no.

Well, I feel fine with everything I've done. Yeah, because at least everybody that I've paralyzed, I've looked them in the eyes when I've done it.

I'm lying about it. I do it from the secretiveness of a bush because I'm a scaredy frog. I want to smell the air. I was going to say cat, but... You smell the scent of ancient soil and stone.

And ash. And it's... It's too old dirt. It's directly ahead of you as you continue to make your way. As the darkness engulfs you, you can barely see a foot in front of you. It almost seems to be like a strange supernatural darkness. And the only thing illuminated are the tiny moonbeams illuminating the strange wicker stacks hanging from the trees all around you.

What are you doing with the artifacts? The relics? Mine's in my backpack. Okay. Would it be unreasonable for us to maybe use one of them for light? You don't know how to use one of these. Mine's not for light, it's for shadow, and if I wanted to, I'd consume all of us in an instant, so don't test me. Well, whose glow is the brightest?

Only the heart? Or the sword. It's literal flames. We could burn this whole place to the ground if we needed to. I pull it out. You pull it out. This looks better. And it is not ignited yet, but you see it glowing with that same orange radiance. And it seems to light up a little bit, piercing the strange darkness. You have to turn the knob at the bottom. I sword, I use you! And I brandish it, but I don't turn the knob. It

It glows and swings through the air. Oh, right. Now turn the knob. As you turn the knob. It ignites into flame. I'd like to call it my lightsaber. And it swirls around and you're swinging it around as the flame is catching it. As it's casting shadows all around, you see that it casts a small grove.

Straight ahead, a clearing. It led all the way to a small grove, a clearing straight away in the two old dirt. It's probably safe. There's no way that's a trap. Oh, no, it's probably most definitely a trap. As it illuminates your path, you see the ring of the wicker stags all around. And directly ahead of this grove is a mound of earth and soil. Oh, no, I have an irrational fear of mounds. Oh.

And at the very center of this, sticking up, is a massive pair of antlers. Seems to be a burial mound. Oh no. It's just his tomb! I have an irrational fear of mounds. I can't get... Well, then stay back. I have a restraining order against all mounds. I can't get within 500 feet of them. Gromley, what are you gonna do? You're not gonna unbury him. Let him be. No, we're gonna find some way to... Why would they not bury his antlers too?

That seems not very nice. They might be like decorative antlers. I'm just a raccoon. I don't know anything about antlers. Well, it could be that the rest of the skull is buried beneath the mound and we're just seeing the antlers coming out of the top. Just like you wanted to do with Jericho. Anyway, I want to walk into the middle of the dome and start looking. I wanted to do that because it would make him a ghost. Does that make sense?

a dead ghost. Well, I did talk to his dead, like, something or other. He was naked. Oh, this is a real ghost. We shouldn't be here. Yep, ghosts and witches, and here we are. You step into the grove as, uh, I need a marching order.

I'll go first. Oh, Cameron in the back. I'll go after Grumly. Yeah, I'm right there next to Hazel. Okay. As both of you creep, you're in the back as Grumly's are all tightly together. I'd like one of you, whoever would like to, to make Rita Tense situation roll, please. As you tensely look around. That is with cunning. I have plus three. You better do it. All right.

Oh, I think an eight. Oh, you're good. An eight. I will just give you this. Yeah, sure. Thanks, GM. As you're listening around, as you're walking in the back, as soon as Grumly approaches this mound, you hear, you don't hear anything, but you feel a presence directly behind you.

Oh no, guys, I'm not going to look, but I feel a presence directly behind me. Is it God? And you see, as you turn around, you see a black shape with massive antlers looming, reaching towards Peggy. Is it a God?

- Who sees this? - Everyone who turned around. - Does it look like a shadow? Peggy, jump away! - It looks like a real figure as it is looming towards Peggy. - I'm gonna use my frog legs to leap towards the mound. - You leap towards the mound and as you spin around and turn-- - Oh, I'm not turning. I'm just leaping straight towards the mound and not looking behind you. - I wanna run. - As you approach this figure,

looms forward and stays at the tree line outside of the grove. And you see that it's the shape. And it seems it's very large, not quite as large as the figure from your dream, Peggy, but feminine, shapely.

But there's something off about it. Long arms and strange claws, but they look like cloven hoof end tips. Oh, God. And it doesn't seem to be able to come into the clarion. At least it's staying at the back. And then suddenly... I'm caught between a mound and a weird witch thing. I don't know what to do.

as you, as it seems to skirt, and then suddenly two eyes open. They're narrow and almond shape. And you hear a feminine voice. Come to the tomb of my lover with his treasures. My magic, have you? You've brought them to me.

No, I actually, if he was your lover, I was naked with him in a weird fever dream and he doesn't like you very much. You do not know what you have. Leave. Leave them. Leave them with the fallen king. And once you do, I will not devour you.

Devour us! Devour us! I reach into my pack and I pull out the banner and in a moment, in a flash, I flick it out and I almost let it snap and I say, I'll show you! Shadows of the Banner, devour her! You unfurl it and it glows orange and you scream and you wait.

- Nothing happened. - Oh, I knew he didn't know how to use it. - And then suddenly, the shadows. I was totally expecting like, until we go, "Fuck myself."

The shadows shoot out and sort of slither around this shape as it starts to swirl around and you see it start to entomb her almost in shadow and she starts to struggle against it and the eyes turn towards you, Booker. You do not know what you have! I know what I have! And she's struggling about it like, I will be free soon! You do not! Someone do something quick! This would actually work!

I can't. I'm afraid of mounds and ghosts. I'm going to run up and try to just swing at her. Okay. Use your thing. He's using the halberd, right? I'm using the halberd. You make an attack? Oh my God. What is wrong with you? Use your thing. You're going to kill us, you dumb pug. So how much wounds? If it's even going to work.

I will do... I can pick three. I will suffer a little harm, I will frighten my foe, and I will inflict serious harm and use a sharpen. So three harm on her. Three harm? Okay. So you slice in, and as that happens, you attempt to fear, and as you slice in, you feel your halberd make contact with something.

But it feels like you're hacking through dirt, through wood, through flesh, long, dead, and rotting. And it seems to tear in. And suddenly you see a cloth shoot out and rend you as you do that. And you take three harm and one exhaustion. Holy shit. Three injury and one exhaustion. Probably not.

- It might take little or? - No, well, whatever little does. - Okay, so three harm, one exhaustion. - Three injury and one exhaustion. - Okay, so I'll make the injury reduced by one and I will take, my plate will take two.

So three harm. Holy crap. Three injuries, so two, one. Foolish dog. You do not know what you have. You die here licking my feet like you have your whole life. I tried to tell you to use your thing, Gromley. Are you okay? I'm going to back off. Put the amulet on. I'm going to put the amulet on. You back off. And you see as you put the amulet on where you were slashed.

There are holes forming in your skin. Just like strange, like a pestilence. Ew! That is pockmarked as you're slicing. I shouldn't have run in there. And you put the amulet on, and it is glowing orange. What do you do? I'm going to...

Do we know exactly what it's called? What is the relic called? Heart of the Blazing King. Sword of the Blazing King. Crown of the Blazing King. Banner of the Blazing King. Oh, the Blazing Heart. Apologies. Blazing Heart. Be blinded by the Blazing King!

- And I'm gonna try to activate it somehow. - And you see that as it opens, and you open the little business, and it blasts out, and that burst of strange orange embers shoots out, and she seems to try to move away, but she's able to move around a little bit and still have some agency within the shadow, but then she's bathed, and you see now that the light is shining, and you see

what looks like a creature, but long, long dead. An ancient corpse-like half wood and dirt and half rotting flesh, exposed bone and pockmarked flesh all over with these sickening holes, not just in the flesh, but also in the soil. As you see a long rotting half deer skull.

of this feminine creature, and she's then bathed in the light as she seems to move, and then she's blinded, and the eyes close, and she's even now cowering and weakened as you are blazing this at her. And it feels like it's all you can do to continue to shoot this artifact at her.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. What do I do? Use your thing, Hazel. Come on. How do I use it? Neither did they, but they did it. I know you can do it. Oh. I'm going to take it out and put it on my head and say, uh, uh. The way it's the crown and I hope it breaks your neck. And I'll...

And as the shadows are engulfing her, the blazing light and maddening fire of this fire, of this amulet, are blazing her. You are blasting. You then use it, and then the

little intricate knotwork all unfurls and the crown glows and you feel a rumbling in the earth as the two massive trees on either side of her lean down and move and smash their massive limbs. She is knocked to the ground, now blinded, entombed and smashed and pinned to the ground by these massive trees on either side. The forest now is at your command. There is nothing that I thought I hated more than mounds.

my unnatural fear of mounds as I look down at the mound that I'm on. But now I know I hate witches more and I'm going to frog leap up with the sword and I'm going to drive it into her. That's how you want to do that. You leap forward, the sword blazing. And the sword is blazing as you leap forward and she screams, No! Without me and my power!

And you shove the, you see her eyes now, she's barely able to open them as her undead rotting form tries to reach out a claw, but the skull splinters and she immediately ignites into flame with the fire of the blazing heart and she fully ignites and you hear just, ah, ah!

And she screams and burns, and she turns into a blazing pyre as everything entombs her. And as she burns away, she turns into ash. And as soon as the ash settles, the glow around all of the relics fades. The hum dissipates. The fire doesn't ignite. The trees erupt themselves. The shadows dissipate.

and the darkness in this place is gone. You see the harvest moon up ahead shining a beaming moonbeam down over the tomb

of the Blazing Heart. The original king of the Dimwood. I thought I was going to stab her and then we would be able to fight her, but I guess we all just needed to use the item. Hi. I'm going to roll my banner up. I do hate mounds so much. And I'm going to take the banner over to the mound that appears to be the

the burial place and just kind of lay the rolled up banner on the mound. Now, wait a minute. And I'm going to stick the sword into the mound. Well, now it's got a sword in it. It's no longer a mound. It's a pile. I know that this is a pretty weighty thing that we've just done killing a witch and all that. And then in the middle of the heart of the darkness on a harvest moon and all that. Um, but supposing that we took these items, um,

And sold them now to the Eyrie who is chasing us? No. Why not? Because we don't want anyone to know about any of this ever. That's right. This needs to die with time itself. But they're useless now. It doesn't matter. No one needs to know that. And no one needs to know about anything that has transpired here tonight.

Oh, yeah, I just want to get back to my workshop and start making my own tinkery toys. I just want to fish and drink. You are welcome to fish and drink at my workshop anytime you want. Thank you, Peggy. I'll cook dinner for us. Great. You're welcome, Susie. I'm working on a kitchen that's going to have an oven where you can bake pies if you want to. Can't do that. I've got to go back to my family. How did we go from just being wandering vagabonds to getting involved with them?

And my voice like echoes through the dark fucking forest. Yeah, I know. We did a great thing today. No more. No more. We're done. It's over. Yeah, no, I don't want to get involved in this kind of stuff ever again. I'll take the crown off and put it between the antlers that are sticking out.

Are there any other, um... I wanna like kinda walk around the mound. Are there any places for like offerings or anything like that? You get the sense that where everything was placed, it seems like you could. There's nothing for offerings. You see there's a number of kind of monolithic stones around this burial mound. But you get the sense of just placing it on the mound would be appropriate as an offering.

I will take the blazing heart off and I'll say: I'm sorry about the fall of your empire. It seemed quite mighty, but we've at least gained you. We've achieved justice for you and we've slain the foul hag that corrupted your kingdom.

And I'll put the amulet down on the mountain. I take out four glasses and a bottle of bourbon. I pour four of them. I hand out the glasses to, you know, the most everybody. And I actually pour a little bit on the mound for my homie. And I say, we did it. This is it. This is the end. We can all just go home. You guys want to go to New Felicia and see what's shaking? I'd like to check it out for sure. There's many places for us to go. But for now, can we drink to our health and our

- Our continued survival. - Yeah, let's do that. - I'm gonna put a little honey in my fist. - To the ends of hags and to this being a pile and not a mound. - To the mud bed jamboree. - To the mud bed jamboree. - You all cheers. As soon as you cheers, as soon as the glasses clink together, you hear a voice.

As a shape shimmers and appears in the moonlight. Is this the same shape I saw in my naked fever dream? It seems to be similar, but the voice calls out and it's the same voice.

You have freed me. You have freed my soul. I thank you. And you see that there is a shimmering, it's no longer a shadow bound to the darkness in a pair of eyes. You see a large gleaming stag king holding a sword and a banner and a crown and an amulet around his neck, standing proud and at peace.

My soul can now rest, and my people may have fallen, my kingdom may have fallen, but the Dimwood lives on. I thank you. And with a shimmer, the shape disappears. I'll kneel down and put my halberd down and put my head down. I don't want any of you to get, like, really jealous or anything, but that was the guy that was naked with me in my dreams.

Jealous isn't the word that I would use. Did he have claws on just now? Yes, he did. He had a full suit of armor and a sword. I'll kneel down and I'll say, Rest well, King. I mean, what's next? I mean, we still have to be careful of Vieri, or otherwise he'll swoop down and take us as prisoners.

We have to be careful. I don't necessarily want to just live in New Felicia my whole life. There's plenty of things to see. Well, you know, luckily we've made good friends with Gene O'Donnell, so I think that if we go to New Felicia, we could probably utilize the autos to get wherever we need to go safely, because we saw what they were willing to do to birds, so. Touche. What do you plan to do with your newfound time and freedom? Well,

Well, I was planning I'm going to make my workshop a little bigger. I was thinking right now it's only a single story. I could make it triple, maybe double, maybe quadruple stories. Maybe a little bit more properly defended. You know, it's just resources. And right now, the thing is that it is...

The thing about my workshop is that it's difficult to reach and it is poorly defended. And I really think it's probably going to stay that way. I thought maybe make it more well-rounded, but you do what you want. Whatever makes you happy. Hazel, what are you going to do? It's just that, gosh, I'm so close to home. I can almost smell the bumbleberries. And...

I really have stolen quite a bit on our journey. If I'm keeping track, I have a bunch of booze. A bunch of booze?

She has berries and a bunch of rabbit pellets. Three big coins, a bag of exotic berries, snake oil, keys, a crossbow, a silver pocket watch, an expensive survey equipment, gold nuggets, three orange gems, fine whiskey, fine cutlery, silver cups, candlesticks, gold shavings from the Mayotodes, fountain statue, five pies, clam earrings, that smell bad, sherrys, berries, sandwich board. Oh no, I got rid of that at the inn. A crown relic. Oh no, I just got rid of that. And a fine bathrobe.

Oh. As you finish reading off that list, the moonlight shimmers and changes. Oh no. And it forms four separate beams around north, south, east, and west of these stones. And you notice that there's... Oh no, aliens exist. There's a strange... Something strange about the soil around them. We're about to be prone. I start to walk towards the one that's in the west.

You walk towards the one in the west. But not, I just approach it. You approach it and you look and as you see, you see, as you approach, the moonlight kind of intensifies and the ground rumbles and the stone falls over and you see a horde of shimmering gems long lost to time. Oh my gate corns! I'm gonna hop straight over to the one to the north. It shakes. It shakes.

You see, to the north, you see shimmering blue gems. The west, you went to the one to the west, that was the shimmering red ones. Oh my goodness. Blue like in water, I love water. I'll go south. South. You make your way south and you see that it and you see these brilliant green gems. Oh, I like green too.

I want to reach for one. You reach for one. And you grab it. And in all of your life, you have not seen any. They kind of almost hum with this strange light. But I'm able to grab it. You're able to grab it. It does not seem to be magical at all. I begin to shovel them into my backpack. You do that. I watch and I start shoveling the blue ones into my bag. I'm going to dump out all the shit. I'm getting a big serpent. You know, Booker, with this kind of moment.

the money I could actually make my workshop moderately defended. Don't talk about it, be about it! Oh, is this guy back to pay off my debt and then I'm gonna run the birds out of town and then I'm gonna own my own bakery? The other one was golden gems, like an amber color. I don't even know what to do with Foley. Probably, you didn't tell us what you were gonna do. Now the question remains...

I have to ask again. Oh, darling, what are you doing? What are you going to do with your life? Well, I want to go back to New Felicia and see if DeMarquis 8 will take me back in. You could buy a really nice townhouse in New Felicia. At least a better tavern. Oh, thank you.

I think you could buy the Marquisite. Well, at least I could. Maybe I don't have to be a deputy no more. You could be a constable, maybe. I don't know the reckons. I could have some better position. I don't know. I'm happy to see where the wind takes me. Yeah, I'm just going to get myself home and I'm going to start working on all the new features. Well, thank you for sharing what you're all going to do. Yeah, and you're going to go fishing.

Me? Well, I'm efficient on the docket, so to speak, but I mean, there's so much to see. Maybe I'll just see what's west of Westeros. I mean, west of the Dimwood. That's a great idea. You just need a left. Why don't we travel? We have all this money. Why don't we go see New Felicia? We can go see Nookington. Yeah, no, we're going to do... I thought we were going to go on

a family friendly vacation now to New Felicia before we decide that we're gonna say bye Felicia and head back to our homes we've learned that the world is so much bigger than the dimwood there's so much more out there we have the means the capabilities we can see it all we can do it all and we can most importantly not get mixed up in anything like this ever again yeah so the next time a creepy old bird stumbles out of the woods we just kill him

Well, we've done a great deed today, but I don't think I'd like to sleep in the woods tonight. Pottsville is not that far, and they're probably still having a good old time with their festival. Yeah, we should head back and go. The Marquis said we'll look out for us if we make it there. Let's go and enjoy ourselves. Do you believe in ghosts?

Because there's one right behind you. There's not a ghost behind him. No, I was just joking because of what just happened, you know. You tricked me. Thanks. All right. So we can head back now? I'll dust myself off and I'll say. I don't know about you guys, but I feel like we really did a good thing here. I do too.

We kept some really powerful artifacts out of the hands of some people that might have done bad things with them. And we killed a witch, which I don't think a lot of people could say they've done.

Yeah. Yeah. We better get on our way. And we had a conversation with the Lord of the Forest who's been long dead, which is kind of cool too. And we freed his soul. We can rest now. And we can eat better than we've ever eaten in the past, like, three years. I'm so ready for fair food, festival food. It's the best food. I just heard the wind whispering from the north that we might have to make a roll to get out of this forest.

And I'm like super tapped out. You get the sense that no, it's all over. Put your dice down. That's all the TM prepared.

We head back to town. All right, let's go back. Wait a minute. I left my staff. I'll be right back. What I'm going to go back and see are the things still sitting there, like the physical things? They're still sitting there. Come on, take them all. Okay. You do that. As you shovel them, it's very difficult. They're very large, so it's very obvious that you have them.

Hazel, what are you doing? Put it back. Oh, dang it. All right. What's wrong with you? It's in my nature. No, it's not. There's nothing there for you to eat. No, it's in my nature. That sounds like justification again, Hazel. Oh.

We're going to have to talk again, aren't we? All right. And then I lecture Hazel on the way back. As you make your way back, the moonlight is shining through the trees a lot more. The darkness has been purged by the harvest moon that's above you. And you make your way

out of the woods. You enjoy the revelry of the Harvest Festival in Pottsville. You, by the next morning, the mayor, Methuselah, has said that he's connected with his... with his, uh, with his contacts.

and that he's connected with also a Viceroy when killed him. And that you'd be welcome in New Felicia, and you'd have an escort for you if you cared for it. He sends you on with an escort as well as supplies as Jericho and...

His daughter, Amelia, are safe and happy. You leave them as they recover and you head north to New Philistia. Your newfound sense of reputation and renown has now, within the Marquisate, has spread far and wide as you are reunited, Grumman, with Sheriff Beatrix.

She's heard the word of everything that you've done for the Marquis 8 throughout your adventures. You are deputized. But she encourages you to continue what you're doing as a forward man for the Marquis 8 and

And to continue your travels as that is how you're most useful. I won't let you down, Sheriff Beatrix. You finally get to enjoy and experience the industry and the sheer city of New Felicia as you eventually make your way back down to Eerie Territory in...

Nukington, as the amount of treasure and wealth that you have are far more than enough to repay what the angry, uh, the angry, eerie soldiers had, uh, that you had stolen from them. Your family is, is...

is let free. You reunite and they put you up and they feed you for days until you continue on your way. You make your way back to Warbler. Not only has Mayor Boghoff been deposed, it seems that with all of his revolutionary talk, none other than Hamilton

had been elected, the mayor of Wortwold. Get him! And he had actually established a new bank to compete with the better borough bank and have less brutal practices. - I deposit all of my gems in that bank. - You deposit the gems.

And you make your way back to Peggy's workshop, comfortable with more... Now moderately defended. Now moderately defended. It has a... It has a...

It is a large number of defenses. As you are all in Peggy's workshop, as she gets... As you see her working on the schematic for the greatest invention probably of her whole career yet, a submarine. As...

And she begins to work on her masterpiece. And what better way to explore the world than beneath the waves, out of sight from any faction, on your own. I'm going to name it the Clamstrip Rubin. The Clamstrip Rubin. The SS Clamstrip. As you all help Peggy.

create as you all help Peggy for weeks building the clamship Ruben. Booker, you manage to look around and you find a bit of property.

where you can drink and gamble at the casino in the nicest part of the clearing. And you probably have a summer home and a winter home. And you start looking at, you start investigating the property and you think you're going to be pretty comfortable. As you finish your invention, you hear that the

The burgeoning aristocracy and bureaucracy of the Eyrie has gone south for Gaust. He's been deposed after his failures. And he's been replaced with Rue T. the Magpie.

And as you all prepare your next voyage and your next adventure, you all pile into the Clamsham Ruben. The... The Summer Lane. The Essence Clamsham Ruben. The Essence Clamsham Ruben. And as you all batten down the hatches, you manage to get a few extra hands, because it's more than a four-person vessel. Oh, I hear the come. Oh, no. And... Oh, yeah, I was planning on burglaring with Junos. Uh...

Three otters hop in to be your crew. Betty, Rhonda, and Vinny. And as you close the hatch, new waters your future. You begin your maiden voyage. And that is where we'll end the campaign. I have never said that before. We've finished the campaign.

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