Hey everybody! Welcome to Legends of Avantris! I'm Chuckled in Space and you're listening to Stardust Rhapsody! Here's what happened last time.
A job is a job. We don't need to get wrapped up in anything that doesn't concern us. Solid gold plated space station that spins like a top as long as you have the bounty. If you do not, you will be killed. If we can all keep it together, we might actually pull this off. And you
enter into Elysium. I believe the job was for $50,000. It was for $50,000, but you docked in my hangar. Somebody opted for premium super repairs inside. How about this? How about I offer you another job? And I'll double the reward. Somebody took something from me and I want it back.
back. But this one, I went alive. It looks almost like a planet covered in ash. You are hit with a blast of snow and cold.
Oh shit. It's some kind of spooky monster or something coming. You start to feel the ground tremble. Two massive snowy land sharks erupt out in a massive open jaw motion. You're firing off desperate blasts of solar rays. Twelve black, uh,
penguins sled down the hill and crash into the side of the land shark and knock it off the cliff face. Each one of you will take a penguin, the motion for you to get behind one, and invite you to go penguin sledding. This is so fun! Oh, so you made it, Rhapsody. Space. The infinite void can be crushingly cold in its darkest depths.
Not half as cold as where the Rhapsody's latest bounty takes them, however. Provided once again by the boss, the party finds themselves on the trail of Rex Maxim, a notorious treasure hunter. Trudging through the snow, the land itself seemed to rose up and greet them. Monstrous wolves, enormous predator sharks, and penguins paralleled their journey.
They now find themselves at the doorstep of a primal temple that feels as though it predates the planet itself. They pursue their prey within. They have no idea what truly awaits them inside. You shove and press and push. You push all your might into this door and you fight through as it creaks and eeks and swings wide open.
You pass through the threshold and you see the smiling visage, the orange leading into red of streaming hair in a hologram that stands in front of you. You see Rex Maxim, the light gray duster, the white hat, portrayed his smiling face. "Hello, Rhapsody."
"Well, if you've come for me, you might as well turn back around. You'll never catch Rex Maxim." And he swipes his hand across the brim of his hat. And he winks and smiles, and the corner of his mouth catches a glint every here and there. And as you walk in,
I need everyone to roll a perception check. Oh boy. And you are all dreaded. Oh, double up, boy. Another opportunity for disappointment. What's the lowest? Oh man, I got a 19. I rolled a 16, 17, my god! You said perception? Disadvantage? 23. Everyone is dreaded. So what is that? 23 with disadvantage! Take that, Rhett! Okay. 12.
Lucky number 13. What did you get, Nandie? 13. I got 13. As you enter into this temple, it is absolutely enormous. You glance up and the ceiling extends. You feel like you can almost not even see where it ends. It extends so high above you. This is a grand entryway.
It walks open, you see the jeering, smiling visage of Rex at the top of a set of stairs that leads down, extending out beyond it, a stone-like gray bridge that extends over a chasm that seems to fall to unknown depths. At its far distant edge, you see a small,
jut of rock that comes out just sitting in front of a oval cutout in the wall but you also feel this immense pressure you don't know what it is where it comes from or why here but almost like the force it takes to breathe to inhale to fill your lungs is a is a battle
Every breath you take. You feel, for a moment, all of you, feel very briefly an impending sense of dread.
Oh boy. All of us. After having Rex just delivered his snappy one-liner, I will take a deep draw on my cigarette, finishing it, throw it to the ground, stomp it out and say, "All right, Rex, give it up. We all know you're not a real cowboy, you're a trust fund kid. Come on. Just come talk to us and it doesn't have to be the hard way." As you address the hologram,
It says once again, ha ha, Rhapsody. Oh, if you've come for me, turn around, because nobody captures Rex Maxim. Oh, that may be so, but clown gun! As I shoot my clown gun and cast Idiot's Laughter on the hologram.
Okay, how does that work? It fails because it's not a creature. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, it's not a creature. So you cast, you pull out, you cast Clown Gun, or you cast Hideous Laughter. The Clown Gun, you draw your laser pistol, you pull, and it goes bang, and it shoots out a little flag, or whatever it shoots out.
And it seems to just sail through the... What do you call twin Dinothorns? A pterodactyl! That's pretty good. It is good. I'll look to Rhett and I'll say, I should have known. And then I'll kind of turn to the cave and I'll say, Come on, Rex! You couldn't have gone too far. You don't have to do this. You're in way over your head. You don't know what you're dealing with.
Clearly he had time to prepare for us. Yep. Anyone else feel that or is that just me? He left his bike outside so I don't imagine he's anywhere else. He has to be hiding. You mean this feeling of being under pressure? Pushing down on me? Pushing down on you?
Yeah. Well, that's pretty good. If I gave out inspiration, I'm certain I would earn it. From a certain point of view... That's exactly right. Yeah. Oh! Ooh, da-da-da! I feel it too! Do-de-do! That's okay! A hologram! Gosh!
I can't believe all of us were fooled by it! Yes, all of us. Yeah! Is there a... Is there a signal coming from it? Can we track it? Maybe we can figure out where he is? Or is it just pre-recorded?
I'll take a look. I want to, I guess, investigate whatever device was emitting this hologram. Roll, you walk up to it and you can see the visage of Rex protrudes, the light emanates from a small disc on the ground. Three metallic legs spring out and clamp into the ground. Roll a tech investigation check, adding your proficiency, and you are dreaded.
Are you sure you want to do that? Yeah. Oh, for the tech thing? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's fine. You deserve it. 13. Plus 20. Oh, shit. Investigation? 46.
Oh my god, where is it? Did you say the oval thing? What's the oval thing? Is that where Rex is being rejected? In the far distance, you see a small stone jut out. That's what I'm fixed on. And behind it, almost like an oval cutout in the back of the wall.
There's also a plaque that says, "Make sure you drink your Ovaltine." 27. Ovaltine, please! Remind him of the proficiency. Oh, jeez. 14 profic- or 10 profic- How do you approach this? The, uh... The disc. The disc. Skittering hologram. In terms of how do I walk up to it?
I would just, I wouldn't think twice about it. I would just sort of like kneel down and grab it. Perfect. Anyone near you? Nope. All right, fine. I would walk up with him and be like, look at this copy. I think I'm actually like a little bit deeper into this space fixed on that oval thing. So you may have moved just right past the hologram, so you'd be pretty close. I don't give a about the hologram.
Okay, you're pretty close. So you walk up and you lift and grab the hologram and you will say, extending from your hand, there's a little, the same implement you used to connect into the computer system on the meteor you can use to plug into this hologram. And with whatever the hell you just rolled,
Immediately, you sink into this thing like it's your freaking job because it is. And you know a couple of things. You know that...
It is sending a shortwave signal to Rex, who seems to be about 15 stories beneath you. Whoa! It is also sending a shortwave signal outside, you would assume to his speeder, and it is two seconds away from detonating.
Wow. The disc is or the speeder is? The disc is. Get back! And I'm gonna try to knock Pike back as far as I can, and I guess turn my back.
I need you, you, and you to roll a dex save. Oh, this guy's a dick. I thought we were having fun, and now he's making it like he's trying to kill us. Dex? You said dex saving throw? And you're dreaded. That means I roll three things. You realize that? I'm pretty good at-- No, not on the saving throw. Not on the saving throw, you're good. Oh, I've been doing this wrong. Come on. Ability, got it.
My lowest is a 15. That's a 23! 18. I move-- Oh, wow. On the dreads, everybody's-- I move water and as soon as he gives me the warning, I'm out of the way. Stop on my d1. I tumble and tuck and dive and I'm just-- 16. That would be horribly unfortunate.
We all roll well. Nice job. Yeah, two for me. So with Rett's connection to tech,
Not only do you get a little bit of heads up warning that this connection is about to go off, but you're able to add two seconds to the counter. You pump it up just a little bit and give it a quick throw up in the air. The blast comes down. You're knocked down a little bit. Danny catches you off guard. Everyone passes, so you'll just take...
Half damage of, we'll say six points of blasting damage. Six points? And that's already halved. That is the half damage, that is the half.
And then, Pike, with the push, the additional push from Rhett, you easily, acrobatically almost, move back on one hand, the other holding your cigarette in your mouth, as you do kind of like a back flip cartwheel to move back a couple of feet. I'm like, "Oh my god." You just gotta take the blast. Hey, everybody all right?
Yeah, are you okay? Oh, did I do that? No, it was Rhett. This guy's a maniac. All right, this fucker's dead. Not dead-dead, but he's fucking trying to kill us. It's a good thing we did not mess with the speeder. I will reach my hand out to Rhett to try to help you, you know, reach out a hand to help you up. Yeah, no more messing around. We're taking this guy out.
Isn't this whole thing being a cowboy? What's the very cowboy-like proximity mind from Silvernose? I tried to tell you, this guy's a total poser, okay? His theme's all over the place. Yeah, gosh. It's really like, it's kind of more like, and then, and then. Pick a theme and stick with it like the rest of us, Wreck. You all right? Yeah. I'm just like focused, I don't even care.
What is this plate, Dandy? I don't know, but I really would like to go up to that oval thing. Just be careful. We don't know what else Rex has done here. Let me guard you. Okay. I am not that scared that Rex can hurt me here. I'm going to walk towards the oval thing. Wait, hold on. Oh. Just be careful, all right? Okay. There may be more traps.
If this fucker is used to sneaking around tombs and ancient places, you never know what's lurking around the corner. Are there any gems or anything on the wall that I can notice? Roll a perception check, and you are dreaded. Perception is ability, right? Yeah. So that's three. Got it. That's a 12. That's okay, brutal. That's okay, that's decent. 12. 12's not bad at all.
Given the circumstances. All things considered. As you begin to walk forward, you go down the steps. There's a long, medium grayish stone platform that you step and level out on that extends this bridge to the other side of this great chasm.
As you look around, you can see on the walls throughout this room, you see once again etched a series of bas-reliefs. Though it is still incredibly cold in here, and the ice has reclaimed a lot of it. You can see throughout certain depictions that there are within the walls in certain spaces inlaid gems.
You can see it begins with a similar race of ancient aliens that look very much like what was on the door out front. Collection of them, different styles. Some look like triceratops.
T-Rexes, Stegosauruses, different sizes, shapes, but they're just a little more primal than anything any of you have encountered before. It then goes on to depict what seems to be a struggle for survival against the land until they discover, and this is where you see inlaid a gem in the wall.
And it's at that point, they seem to have it revered, uplifted above them. And it's at that point that they are then depicted as strong, upright. They're now kind of like, not in like regal garb, but they carry tools, weapons, power. They've evolved throughout the depiction. There's one final scene
and the ice has overtaken a lot of it, but you see them all kneeling and looking up, but what they're looking at has been overcome. - It's been overcome by ice? - By ice. - So it's just covered, so maybe it's still there. Do the gems look familiar? Like maybe something that's on my body? - You could possibly draw that parallel. - I'm gonna touch the gems like on my head and body, chest.
And I'm gonna cast Lesser Restoration on myself to see if that helps me with the feeling of pressure. - Ooh. - Or any of the stuff that I'm feeling. So that's a condition afflicting, heals a condition or what, disease or condition afflicting myself. I don't know if that. - As you cast that,
your gems start to glow and sparkle. The familiar stardust starts to almost hum around your body. You cast this spell, hoping to cleanse whatever is afflicting you, all of you. And as you do this, your eyes turn white. And for a moment, you imagine yourself at the bottom of the ocean.
the crushing pressure of the bottom of the sea for a split second, surrounded in the darkest depths, no life anywhere, choking, gasping for air that could never come. You can't tell which way is up, down. You can see no light for a split second as you attempt to cleanse this from yourself. I'm going to...
Maybe like let, I'm going to just let out like a moan that's, that I would hope would be audible from everyone. I'm like close enough to everyone that I'm like letting out a moan. I don't want to do that. Um, but, um, Oh,
Yeah, what he said. This is an anime. What's going on? What's going on, Patriot? Super cut, man. And I'm going to communicate that to the rest of the people. I'm going to say, you guys, I think that what we're feeling is...
is maybe what the people here felt. It felt as though I just saw and felt as though I was at the bottom of the ocean, but I still feel the pressure even though I tried to get rid of it with my powers, but I cannot get rid of it. And it's possible that's what the people who once lived here, maybe the people in the pictures had experienced. I did not know. How could we
How could they have experienced this under the ocean? This is not the ocean, it is frozen. In the glimpse that I had when we were still on the Stardust Rhapsody, what was the land like? Was it with all the dead people? I didn't ask you that. Cool. What was the condition? You, thinking back, you would feel as though the air was cold, but there was no snow.
It was solid ground. It was like dirt ground at the time. I think that this planet has undergone climate change. Like, it's an ice age now, but it wasn't always this way. You think that this could have once been a water planet? Yes. Possibly these people drowned. I don't know. When she was casted, was there any, the gems on the wall, were they reacting at all? Hmm.
Roll a perception check and you're dreaded. It feels good. Doesn't it feel good? Roll higher. Do better. You think maybe you've been pretty focused on kind of what's going on in your immediate vicinity. This has all been pretty unusual, pretty strange. And you still feel not necessarily that impending dread, but there's a weight on your body. There's a weight on your soul.
And you're focused here, but you think that maybe, maybe, out of the corner of your eye, you caught the faintest glint off the wall while she was casting, but you wouldn't think nothing of it. Rex, you said Rex is below us? He's, oh yeah, I should mention that. Yeah, he's 15 stories down. There's got to be some sort of an elevator or something, right? There's a bridge that leads across? Who knows how the hell, there's some sort of chasm down there.
Maybe he repelled or... What if he has his own pair of sticky squeakers? I can go do a little looky-loo. 15 stories? I would be careful. If we're feeling pressure now, think about the pressure going down and how it could increase. Like going to the bottom of an ocean. The endless call of the void? The inevitability of entropy and oblivion? Jesus Christ.
Is that what awaits all of us, Dandy? Chuckles, you are scaring me. I'm scaring myself. Dandy has clearly some connection to what happened here. My eyes are like blank at different times. I think we got to get down. We got to follow him before he mucks anything up. Well, does anybody have any way to protect us? I tried. I tried to protect myself and see if I could...
heal or not feel this pressure, but it didn't work. I think what's really in here is not something we can protect against. Machuckles always called it the Ghiblis. I got the Ghiblis. Oh, Ghibli, Ghibli, Ghibli. I think it's more than that. Well, there it is. We don't know what we need to protect ourselves from, but we have to go down at least. Do we try the ridge? Or see what's on the other side? No way but forward. I think we cross...
Well, let's keep your option in mind. We're gonna have to go down either way. Right. Okay. Maybe that's the easier way. One where we can stick together. And I think that we don't need to sneak. He already knows that we're coming, so let's be quick. Yeah, if I see this guy, I'm knocking him on his ass. Agreed. Oh, and we can run across it? Everyone raise your weapons. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-
I rolled my eyes. Why, you fool? We crossed the bridge. Yeah.
You make your way across this bridge and it extends out further than even you thought from the one side. It feels as though it is a long, extended walk. You take step after step after step, heroically moving forward, but you just can't
shake that feeling, that pressure that surrounds you. It sends a shiver down your spine. But you clear the bridge. Maybe for a moment you look over on either side to see what is under you. See if maybe you can catch a glimpse of Rex.
Does anyone do that? I have Darksight. Okay. For 60 feet. That's what I'd like to... Yeah, absolutely. I would peer down over the side as well as we crossed. Both of you roll individual investigation checks. And you are dreaded. Five. Seven again. Can we twist or dread? Nine. No, you can't twist or dread. It just negates it. You...
Rhett, you move to one side of the bridge, Kavir the other. It's about, the width of it is probably about 20 feet. It is a large, elongated structure. As you look over the edge, down into the depths, everything,
your vision disappears into mist as it swirls and is consumed beneath you. But with those rolls, you do feel that impending fear deepen and you feel it in your, you feel it
in your core. You feel it as if something is reaching out from below. Both of you have the same vision for a moment of being at the crushing depths of the bottom of the ocean, gasping for air.
No clue which way is up. No light pierces anywhere around you. In the darkest, darkest depths of the bottom of the ocean, you hear, you see, you sense nothing, but it senses you. And then you snap back. Jeez. Are you okay? What the fuck is this place? What happened? Did you... What did you see?
Felt the fucking bottom of the ocean thing that Dandy was talking about. Yeah. It's just dark. Fucking Saurians were messing with something dark. No doubt. Red, come on now. Keep it together. You guys alright? That was... It was terrifying. Wouldn't be surprised if they brought the doom on themselves. Do you think there's a chance that they dug too greedily and too deep and awakened and...
An ancient smalarog of smorgoth? Is there anything with that possibility? I mean, we can rule it out! That's exactly what I'm fucking saying. Or something. Magic, I don't know. Is it cursed? I won't say that, but it sure fucking feels like it. I do not know if it's cursed. But there's... We have to keep going. Agreed.
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And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you! It's like the terror of knowing what this world is about. It's like watching some good friend scream, "Let me out." Are you okay, Rick? I don't think I've ever seen you this shaken up. Are you sure you're alright? No, I'm fine. I'm fine. Just reminds me of things. We're good. We're good.
Let's keep going. I'll hold up the back here. I will take the front. I'll be behind Labouche, helping kind of look for potential more Rex traps, because he's a bastard. I'm gonna be a little shaken up, kind of like Rhett, so I'll actually be kind of towards the back of Rhett. Yeah, I'll keep my eyes open, just looking around, basically trying to be a shield. You move forward beyond the bridge
to what is kind of a mirror image of the space you just came from. A slight set of stairs that raise up to this rocky outcropping that flattens off at the top of it, almost like a small pyramid whose point at the top has been cut off. And just behind it, there is
a large tubular structure and the base of it, made of the same stone, carved into it the sigil of the Tyrannosaurus rex's head. There's like a cylinder on it? It is an open cylinder. Oh, okay. I'm gonna go up to it and touch it. Touch what? The cylinder, the drawing. Is there any stones around?
If you walk up to kind of like the pyramid section, that would be the first thing you'd encounter. It has a little bit of like a shaved off top. Yeah, it's like a, you know, it's about the size of a palm, the shaved off piece. But it's this rocky like rise up, kind of like a stalagmite, but less like juddier rocky. But it rises up to about shoulder height. Good job for knowing which one.
And the top is shaved off to be kind of flat. And just behind that, there's an open cylindrical space with an ornate bottom. Does it look like the thing that's shaved off was recently shaved off? Roll an investigation check.
And you are dreaded. Dreaded, that's ability, so I'm double. You roll three. That's triple. Triple, yeah, sorry. Your lesser rest, though, I think drops a level of exhaustion. No, it's greater restoration that drops exhaustion. Oh. That would have been good. I am. I got a two. What was the question? How does it look like...
It's been chopped off recently. You're no rockologist. Well...
Though you're made of eggs, you're not. I'm 6% wrong. Who are you, Rodec and Bronn? You look at this, and it is flat, and it is smooth, and it is devoid of dust, but it is very impossible for you to tell whether or not it was cut off recently, or if it was designed this way. I was thinking that maybe that guy...
Rex shaved this off. What if what if there's a piece missing and that's what the boss is looking for? I don't know looks open. Do we think something was inside it maybe? Or there was something here and he just snatched it on his way down Hmm. Yeah, probably did
We can shoot to kill this guy now that he tried to blow us up, right? No, not yet. The job's still alive. He does what he does. I keep forgetting that part. Don't you have some sort of stun setting? I mean, I really don't know what this thing does half the time. I just point and pull the trigger and just whatever happens, happens. He doesn't let it ride, baby. Stunts the life.
Gotta keep him alive for now, all right, Chuckles? I'll fit it to laugh. Thank you. You're welcome. Is there any other, um, either way out or way down in this room? Uh, do you step into the cylinder? Oh, it's big enough. I thought it was the size of, like,
That's the thing just in front of it. Oh, okay. So it looks like effectively what would be some kind of console or maybe like a pedestal and then just beyond it there's a large cut open cylinder in the wall and the base of that has the ornate carving of the Tyrannosaurus. It's an ancient elevator. Yeah, I mean he's gotta be right. That's what we're looking for. Seems like the only way down. Do we know how this works?
Well, between you and Dandy, I feel like somebody's gotta be able to figure it out. Or I can just give it a try. I can tell you that if that's an elevator, it ain't mechanical, it's all dino magic. Dino magic. No offense. It is possible. And I'm not offended. If anybody here's gonna know how to work it, it's Dandy. Let's step in. Is it big enough for all of us, or like one or two? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's big enough for all of you, and then some. I'll go towards the actual carving. That's on the floor? It's on the floor. Yeah, you step into the structure. And the second you enter it, as you step onto its platform, ruby lines will ignite from its core.
And they will start to do exactly that. They will start to pull out from its central edge as it spider webs out and fills in lines on the ground. It reaches the edges of the cylinder and they begin to climb the walls. And it almost purrs to life. Are you seeing what I'm seeing? We better get on. If that thing starts moving, let's go. Yeah, I would dash quick. Yeah.
You all move on to this ancient elevator. - A little bit. - As you-- - A levitating platform. - As the ancient levitating platform. And as you step onto it, it briefly kind of shimmies and shakes for a moment.
And you've never been on something like this before, but you understand that if you were to swipe your palm just right in a downward format right by the opening, you have the sense that it would close and it would take you down. Wow. It's innate? I'm just going to walk up and be like,
almost like automatically. - Yeah. - Nice! - Like Spock sitting in the seat of his ship and starting the hit classic film Star Trek. - I'm kind of like eyes wide, like. - You feel the knowledge come to you as you swipe your hand down. You don't know why or from where.
but you understand that this is exactly what you're meant to do to operate this. And the platform, you can feel it as you become a little lighter, it starts to go down and down and down and descend. Two stories, five stories. - As we're starting to go down, I'm gonna mention to the group, now is probably not the best time to say this, but we don't know if Rex is alive. And if we go into water, hold your breath.
Oh, you think there's a possibility he just stumbled in here and died instantly? Unprepared for the crushing horrors that await us down below? Yes. Well, we lose a lot of money. And also be dead. Yes. I certainly hope that's not the experience because it was, even for that moment, awful.
Also, I can't believe you did that, Dandy. Did you just know how to do that? - I do not know anything. - You apparently know something. You just used dino magic. You just cast the Tyrannosaurus Hex. - Listen, Chuckles. I'm definitely connected to this place somehow, but I do not know. And every single time I try to figure out how I am connected to this place, I am more confused.
Well, either way, nice job is what Chuckles is trying to say. Thank you. Unless, of course, you've led us to our ultimate demise. I do not think so, but I do not know. Eh, only one way to find out. Beacon, this is serious. I'm not making a joke. I swear I'm not making a joke, all right? What if that Rex Maxim's name, speaking of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, is deliberate? What if he's like...
I don't know, descendant from dinosaurs? Or what if he's descendant from these ancient Thorians? How can he become an elf, though, after that happens? Or he's just very weirdly into dinosaurs.
Between you and me, I'm 99% sure that that's not even his real name. He just picked something that sounded cool. That's what I mean. It may be everything is leading here. Because he's like, oh, I'm going to steal all the dino magic and call myself Rex with two of his probably the jackass. Although that is pretty cool. I suppose anything is possible. Well, he doesn't have actual dino tech here, does he?
I mean, no offense, I mean, that's, you know, technically your tech, right? I do not know. It does seem that way now. So then how would he work the elevator? Because of the name Rex! He also has dino magic! This is my theory! Wait, what if he's with someone? What if he's with someone that I maybe would know somehow? Huh. So...
Or what if he just rappelled down the ravine? Or flew? Or flew, or hovered, or descended in some way, right? Oh. Maybe we're the first ones to use this elevator in thousands of years. He might have the really new cool grav boots. This week. Yeah, they're really cool looking. I can't afford them, or ever hope to fit into a pair. They look so cool.
Whatever happens, there was some sort of signal going down. And if it's down to his dead body, something he was wearing, so be it. And we got on the 90,000 credits? I mean, at that point, it is what it is. Well, we still bring him back. Maybe he has something on him. Who knows? But we'll find out soon enough, I guess. Before we step out, I'm going to cast Cosmic Omen. Forgot I had it.
And so what that's gonna look like is, as we're all talking about this, there's gonna be the cosmic dust and colors that look very similar, I believe, to what is the ruby light coming out of the ground in Cast Cosmic Omen. - And as you do it, more so than ever before, the dust that normally pulls from the ether from the stars themselves that usually will swirl around you,
It is like a torrential sandstorm as you draw upon this power. The ruby light in this space from yourself and from the room around you glows with an immense power. I don't know what that spell does, though. You got to take it. Oh, I just rolled an even number. So basically, when a creature you can see within 30 feet of you is about to make an attack roll, a saving throw, or an ability check, you can use your reaction to roll a d6 and add that number to the total. So it's just support. Wow.
- That's awesome. - Can you consult? I think you might be able to actually do something to do wheel or whoa if that's what you were trying to do. - I'm wheeling, 'cause I rolled even, so I'm a wheeler now. - If you're trying to discern, like get a vision or something, I don't know if that's what you were trying to do. I think there is a feature that does that, maybe not. - Oh. - Maybe not, but yeah. Oh, it's the ruby light!
The doors open and water plunges in and we drown. Instantly. We're crushed. It's been fun, everybody. Thanks for playing. The doors swing open and you are immediately met with a blast of cold. You find yourself at the top of this structure, the elevator having taken you to your destination.
You walk out and there is a flat outcropping at the top of this in the center of this space, similarly to what you found at the elevator, two twin pedestals just separated by about an arm's length in the center of this platform. Above you, a domed structure.
four pillars extend down and connect to the roof of this pyramid. And looking up, you see four pterodactyl creatures that rim around the edge. And in the center, it looks like something had been there, but the center is blown out and is open to the sky. Look out! It's two pterodactyl! So this throws up,
Oh, come on, that was pretty good. Thank you, Kabir. So the top is open. We can see the sky. You're at the top of the pyramid. You're surrounded by open air. The snow's swirling around you. Yeah. How did we end up here? I thought we were going down. Well, I think we were hoping to go down. But nonetheless, here we are. Dendi, did you palm the pad correctly?
I do not know. Should I palm it again? Oh, no, you forgot to set it to inverted control. So maybe I needed to go like this. Well, you think back to what you did and the feeling you had as it struck, and you know that your intention was to descend, and you know that as you did it, as you moved your palm in a downward motion, you felt lighter, implying that the elevator was going down. Oh, no.
We go through the other side of the planet. The world is upside down. Are you insinuating that we were headed down or we did head down? We did head down, but remember the feeling of the pressure. We didn't know what was up or down. It was like we were in the ocean, so deep with so much pressure. So maybe our senses were off. That can't be right. And we really went up.
I wanna run to the edge if I can. Oh, don't slip. And look down to see if I can see the speeder, speeder bike. You do so. Roll a perception check and you are dreaded. Or an investigation check, whichever. An investigation check. Totally used this wrong. That's a 16 and a 14. Okay, huge! 14 plus eight is 22.
You come to the precipice of this structure. You see down its side a massively inverted slope of ice careens down to the snowy fields beneath you. You look out, and in the distance, with your equivalent of Hoth spectacles, you look out and you can see the black mass of the speeder at the base of the structure. This doesn't make any sense. Definitely.
Sorry. Go ahead. Do we all feel lighter? Like the pressure is relieved? No, no. Sorry, you never felt lighter as though the pressure was not present and you feel it currently. You felt lighter implying that with the platform going down, you felt like... We felt the G-forces. You felt the G-forces lifting you as if the elevator was descending.
But you still very much feel the pressure of just this space. Sorry, go ahead. All right, give it to us straight, Rhett. What is it? I mean, the speeder's right there. This doesn't make any sense. Although this is the top of the structure. Is there any connection to the shaved flat thing on top of the rocky stalagmite thing? It's like all a representation of this temple. What? There's the platforms.
As you look at that central structure with the two kind of shaved pedestals out, you notice that above them there seem to be small inlays. And this is a relatively, this section is, it's icy all around but more towards the edges, not in this space. And you can see familiar lines from the floating platform that brought you here that run throughout the pyramid.
Should I make a quick perimeter check? Sure. Just to see if there's any, like, balconies or anything like that? Might as well. Okay. And I just completely walk off the side and just walk along the pyramid and just try to basically get down, not too far, but just walk with my sticky squeakers, making a perimeter check around the pyramid.
and just to see if there's anything, can I discern any kind of symbology or other passageways or balconies or anything?
I would say as you go off the side, the rest of the structure is covered in a sheet of ice. So it is still a little bit treacherous to move around. But you start to spiral downwards a little bit. And you slip here and there, even with your shoes. You slip and slide just a little bit. On the east and whatever you would assume to be the east and west sides of this structure, you encounter spaces where...
Though you think you're walking normally, you then kind of loop upside down. So your head is pointed towards the ground. And this whole space is still covered in ice, but you get the sense that you stand next to or above enormous statues. But you can't see what they are, as they're covered in a thick layer of ice. As I'm slipping, I'm getting a little nervous. And so I'll be like, oh!
Man, I don't want to trust the stickiness of these Quakers. I don't have any cool Grav rocket boots. And I'm gonna walk back up. Man, I bet Wrecked has the newest model. Ridiculous. And I'll walk back up. So there's some, those giant ice pillars, right? Ice pillars? Well, actually, statues, I think. I think I saw some feet shapes. What if this was a temple of some kind? That makes sense.
But, you said the, uh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. The shaved, like, not platforms, but like the shaved mini pyramid thing. They're like kind of pedestals, yeah. Pedestals. They're about arm's length away? Mm-hmm. And they have inlays at the top? Mm-hmm. Like cuts, like, they look like... Like a slot? Like black, yeah, like kind of a slot. Like something you would hold on to?
Like Legend in the Hidden Temple where you put the golden monkey in the... Oh yeah. Yeah, kind of like a black point that delves deep into the structure. Sounds like a temple puzzle. So that means we have to go down to go up.
So we can kill, I mean, capture Rex, take him alive, steal whatever we need, and slot it into the top of this thing. And maybe it'll activate some crazy power! And you'll turn into a dino god! And that thing is missing, 'cause something's missing where the T-Rex are. The dead center, right above where the pedestal is. Right above where the, right above the center of the structure, which is also where the twin pedestals are. Maybe Rex already tried this.
And he took the thing. It's missing. Well, if he's already been here, then again, keep your eyes open. Don't trust anything. What does your scanner show, Red? Is he still farther below us? Well, what I was using to, uh, you know, locate his, uh...
exploded in my face. That's right, that's right. You would have a copy of that signal. Once you identified it, you would be able to tap into it. Love that. Let me see if I can hack into his IP address. LAUGHTER
I'll just send him his home address. I'm in the mainframe. Don't worry, I've got this dungeon map now. Now it's on my mini-map. There he is. Horrible retrovirus. Oh, it looks like the boss key's on the seventh level, so let's stop there first. Yeah, I'll try to sort of get a sense of where he is based on that signal. The signal is lighter now, but you get the sense that he is now about 40 stories beneath you.
He's at least 400 feet below us now. So we went up and he's still down. So let's try again and chase after him. Yeah, maybe we go back in and you just do the opposite of whatever you just did to get us up here. We'll see if it all fucking flips around. All right, back on the lift. And then I'll do that.
As you turn to leave, you feel a unnaturally primal draw towards the central pedestal. I'll just start walking, I guess, towards the central pedestal. You do so. You intend to turn around. You start to move towards the floating movable platform. As you do, something reaches out and pulls at you.
You spin in your spot without saying a word. You start to move towards the central section. And the second you reach it, without intending to, your palms fly out over the center of each pedestal. And as you do this, you see an image. The skies turn red over where you are. The ice melts away. Growth overtakes the land.
And sitting atop this structure, you see a figure clad in black with a magnificent crown that sits upon its head as the land is completely overtaken by nature. And you all will see, as she moves out and her hands snap over the pedestals, the ruby light will pulse and glow as her gem erupts with energy.
It pours into the structure and you would be shrouded in a burst of mist. And if you run to the edge of the pyramid, you would now see that that is exactly what it is. As the thick sheet of ice has been instantly evaporated from the covering around it. Can we see the statues?
Looking down, you would see two twin giant, well, on either side of the edge of the area, you would see twin enormous triceratops statues, one with, both with giant double-edged broadswords. Twin glaives. What just happened? Hey. Andy, all right? Can you hear us? I don't know, can I?
She doesn't respond at all. She doesn't respond? "Dandy, come on, stay with us! Hey!" No, no, she's, uh, she's fucking attached to this thing, she's plugged into it, she's part of it now! Ah, dammit. What in the fucking hell? I'm gonna run up to the side and just give a sense to see, like, if I can see the extent of the ice melting.
Uh, the entire, this is now made itself aware to you that this structure is an enormous pyramid. It's bigger than any, uh, like humanoid shaped single structure you've ever seen. Uh, especially built at the time that it, that it would have been, uh, the ice is completely evaporated off the sides and you can see that happened instantaneously. Okay.
You can see that slowly the ice begins to creep back from the edge of the pyramid at its base, but very slowly. Like it's starting to refreeze. No, no, no. Like the frost is battling. It's moving. Continuing to melt. Correct. Much more slowly. But the frost is fighting back. It's moving very slowly the further it moves away from the pyramid. Got it. Is there anything going on between Hera and the hole in the sky? Or in the roof? Nope.
I don't know, do we rip her out of there? I've got both of my hands on her shoulders. I can pull her free. Does it happen when Laboosh touches her? Uh-oh. No. He thought about that way too long. Wait, hold on! Dandy! I'll walk right up in front of Dandy. Are her eyes glowing? They're glowing with a ruby light. And the gem in her chest is erupting with energy.
I don't think we want to just pull her out of there. Dandy, snap out of it! I didn't want to have to use this. So I have the big po-po ice climbers thing on and my hat's on top of that. So I'll pull it off, I'll reach in. I didn't want to have to use this dandy, and I'll pull out the seltzer bottle. And I'll spray dandy in the face. Roll a wisdom saving throw to advantage. Oh! Nice! Good thinking! Hell yeah.
But you are dreaded, so roll it straight. Oh, okay. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, saving throw. That's 26. Yes! 26. You start to feel on your shoulders, you see ruby skies in all directions over this planet. You see a dark monarch lording over this space.
As you're watching all of this happen, whoever ruled this, this was their throne of power. As you see this unfold in front of you, you start to feel the weight of Laboosh's hands at your shoulders. You feel a moisture, you feel a pressure on your face, and the ruby light fades from your eyes as you snap back, and you may step away.
I'll study you. Do I know what just happened? Do I remember it all? You remember everything, but you don't know what to make of it. And then the one thing about the image and the guy, the monarch, was that, did it seem like that was from the past? Hmm. Asking good questions. Time is a flat circle. Is it quantum mania? It seems, it seems as though that was from the past and simultaneously from the future. Answer.
- Yellow cane. - Dandy, are you all right? Are you back with us? - Is all the red gone, she's back to her normal blue? - Just her normal, as the light fades from her eyes and she stumbles back, the gem pulsating with a ruby energy slowly fades back to normal.
How many fingers am I holding up? Four. Four? Oh, no! She's miscounting! Oh! Oh! Where's my... Oh! Oh! Oh! Molly, you only have four fingers. Sorry. It's a D4. Sorry. Has anything like this ever happened to you before with this group? Is this the first time? Um... That I've kind of, like, gone...
This would be the first time that this particular experience has ever occurred to you. I think that that is all I'll say. Okay. I thought we lost you there for a minute. You saw what happened? Did you see the sky and the man in the black and the plants and the ice? Is all the ice still gone?
All the ice has evaporated from the pyramid, but with you not touching the paneling anymore, if you look out over the edge, the ice is already refrozen to the base of the pyramid, though it stops there. It does not attempt to climb back up. The ice and the plants and the dark man and the sky, the red sky. All we saw was the ice disappear. What else did you see? What did it look like? It looked like the planet was overgrown with plants.
And the tower and this pyramid is the biggest pyramid I've ever seen. I've never seen anything like this. The sky was red. It seemed dark. I did not... It seems as though this happened... It's happening now and also then in the past. Whenever this was built. I want to kind of pull Pike aside. Okay.
I would sense your vibe and immediately know and I would kind of step away and like turn away from the group. What's up? This ain't too dissimilar from when we found her. You're not wrong. I was hesitant to say anything to anyone else. Just gotta keep an eye out. You don't want her to lose control and hurt others. Yeah, alright. And I'll approach the rest of the group and I won't say anything else. I'll light another cigarette. I think we gotta get the fuck out of here.
back down or leave? Down, whatever it is. What about Rex? That's what I mean. We need to fucking get or either leave and say fuck it or we try to find him. I don't think we should be anywhere near this place in case it calls out to you again. We've come all this way. I think we just find Rex and if he can do it, so can we. But if we can't find him,
We have to just walk away, all right? Trust us. We have-- Can I say something that is bothering me? The Dark Man, I think he was bad, maybe. It felt bad, right? It felt extremely ominous. Yeah, it felt really ominous. It felt also inevitable. It felt as though that Dark Man was bringing life back to this planet, and it scares me because that is all I want to do.
I just want to touch the... I just want to... I want to grow the plants and not make this land so barren for the penguins. But then, I don't know. But then all the penguins would die. I know. I do not know. And then all the ice sharks would die. Maybe it is okay. I just... I feel connected to the dark man and I do not want to feel connected to the dark man. Are you sure you weren't seeing you? You look like me. You said I didn't look like me.
You had the sense that you were looking at a larger figure. You would not draw a connection between yourself and that figure. You did not walk away thinking that that was you. That seemed very much like another. Have you mentioned the crown? No, I didn't mention the crown. I forgot about that. There's a crown. The dark man had a crown. What kind of crown? A crazy crown, like a king's crown.
Looks like an ornate, like a large, golden, ornate tribal headdress crown. Similar to mine? Feathers. Similar. Is that my daddy? No, I'm just kidding. So it was some kind of king? Ruler? I believe they seemed to rule the land and they were here. This was the throne.
This is the biggest structure we have ever seen. I imagine the person sitting in the chair with the crown is the one who rules everything. It's just wild. Is this perhaps an old Thorian planet? Well, I think that's fucking... I mean, look at what we're standing on. That goes without saying. The statues, they point to the same thing. Well, if this got annihilated, why wouldn't the Empire set up shop here? I guess there's really nothing to...
Nothing here at all besides penguin harvesting, maybe? So I am Saurian? We don't know. You're some level of separation from the Saurians, but probably built by them. That's my current estimation. Saurian adjacent is what Rhett is trying to say. Well, I guess that's good to know. It's not to say that you need to make whatever you just saw come to pass.
And that's why I want to get off this fucking floor of the temple right now. I think we should leave right now. Not the temple entirely, I just mean like, let's get back on the fucking elevator. Agreed. Let's head down, let's try to find Rex. We're all accounted for, we don't want anyone to get left on the top of this pyramid. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry I left, I don't know, I don't know what happened. It's okay. Oh no, it's okay. It happens. Happens to all of us.
Sometimes we just, you know, get out of our heads for a little bit, all right? You don't feel bad about it. Let's just get back on the elevator and we just move on. Everybody's got something that draws them in. I think I have to go up in order to go down. So I do the opposite of what I did last time. You all step into the moving platform. Oh, God.
As they shut closed, you move your palm in a very familiar way. You slide it up, and nothing happens. What happens if I slide it down? You slide your palm down, and once again, you feel the familiar feeling of yourself almost floating against the G-forces as they release upon you as the platform descends. Let me think. Spike is kind of audibly grown. And then I'm going to turn to Rhett and say...
Occasionally he likes to use words like "non-Euclidean". I'm not even gonna begin to try to explain that. What? Yes, Kim? You haven't heard of non-Euclidean? Have you heard of non-Euclidean? Oh, I know all about non-Euclidean. What? Look, just don't be surprised if those- when those doors open, we're somehow 400 feet in the fucking air. What is, uh... What are you doing back here? What?
What are you doing back here? You don't have the bounty. You said we were going to set up a delivery system. I was expecting to send them out to you.
What the hell are you doing back here? What the fuck is going on? I like blink, rub my eyes and look around like, where are we? You find yourself in the office of the boss. You're surrounded by golden walls, silken red floors. The boss stands atop his desk, ears briefly smoothed back over his head. My cigarette falls out of my mouth.
Pretty good. I'm gonna go up to the boss and I'm gonna say, "Do you know what I am?" What the hell are you doing? You're a freaking bounty hunter! What the hell are you asking me if I know what you are, eh? Where did we appear in his office? What do you mean, where'd you appear in the office? You walked into this stupid-- What are you, dumb as rocks? You look like you're made of rocks. You got anything up here besides rocks? This can't be real, right? This is--
We're all fucking imagining this, right? Yeah! Can we like go back to where we came from? Hold on. Everybody take one deep breath. How long has it been since you gave us the bounty? You just walked out the door like maybe five minutes ago. I thought you were in the hangar bay. This isn't real. This isn't real, right? There's no way. Dandy, try doing this again. I'm doing down. What, are you having a fit? I gotta call somebody? What are you doing?
This isn't real, right? I'm gonna point my cannon right in his face. Just to see what he does. And the large enforcers come in from either side of the room. Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, man, not like this. It's just some kind of fucking trick. You had one job to do, huh? You had one job. You go pick up a pretty boy, stole something very important, okay? You just had to go get him. I wouldn't even met you. Now you're pointing a gun at my face. I'll be like,
You're trying to fuck with my hand. One of the bouncers reaches out a fist, pulls back, and throws a punch at you. The gauntlet connects with the side of your face. A tremor shoots through your body. Pain like you've never experienced. You're knocked down onto the ground and reeling from it. You sit up.
And you find yourself in the middle of a rowboat with all your friends in the center of the open ocean. Did we all experience this? Yep. Wait, like, we're now all in the rowboat? Mm-hmm. Did we, do we remember what just happened? Yep. So I would have been, like, seeing this creature go to punch Rhett, I would have attempted to, like, intervene and try to redirect it, and then all of a sudden I find myself in a rowboat. Ahem.
- I was also gonna try and attempt that, but cast Druidcraft and have snow and red rubiness and plant growth happen to try and distract him.
You all do so. Except for you, who got punched in the face. You sit up. You are in the middle of motion. I'm like in a defensive stance. Yeah, I'm like, I was trying to protect my friend. You're standing, your base wide. You erupting from your hands, snow, attempting to make some kind of thing that would disrupt the moment. And...
I immediately sit down in almost a cannonball position on one end of the boat. It's heavy, so the boat might even do this a little bit, but I'm trying not to trip the entire thing over because if I were to stand, I'm sure I would. Are you all right? What was that? How did he get here? I don't fucking know. Did he take damage? Does he look like he's been beat up? Does he look okay? No, he looks totally fine. I'm looking at your face. I feel okay. My jaw didn't explode.
God. No. Labouche, punch me. Are you sure? Yes. Punch me as hard as you possibly can. Why? It's the only way to get out of the throwboat. Wait, wait, wait, wait. He might only ever ask you to do this one time. You better make it count.
Wham! Uppercut style. You spin your arm and it starts to kind of elongate as you whip it and whip it and whip it and then you bring it around and in an arcing slash, the fist comes up and next to it, Chuckles, he lifts up out of the boat. K.O.! Yeah.
Roll your damage. Your neck elongates. And I'll fall up and I'll almost like rocket into the air cartoonishly and spiral back down and crash into the boat. And I'll just be sitting there with my shoes splayed out like that and literal canaries will be spinning around tweeting around my head as well as stars. I rolled low, so only seven damage. That was...
That was filled with intention. As you say that, and as you land back in the boat, that its base cracks. A tremor runs the length of it, and water starts to pour in. Oh no. No, no, no, no. It's the fucking depths. What if I do this again? Dark black water pours into the boat. We're not float. Is there anyone here who can't swim?
I, in a panic, I'm gonna drop down to the base of the boat and lay my hands down and run. I'm gonna cast Mending, which is flavored as reverse time. - Oh, it's gonna be-- - Oh, badass! - I'm so confused. - And hopefully, the crack starts to reform. - The clock tattoos on your person begins to glow and shift
as the crack in the boat seals and the black water pools out of the bottom. Thank you. That was close. Nice work! Why would the spooky dark water, what color is the ocean here? We're not at the bottom of the ocean, are we? We're on the top of the ocean. Does this look familiar to any of us? You look around and you are surrounded by crystal blue waters.
Crystal blue. What about directly, like if I look over the edge of the boat? You look over just the edge of the boat, and as you peer in, it is beautiful, crystal clear waters. However, you see the faintest... It's hard to place. Almost like the faintest amber glow that moves just beneath you as the boat, in full repair,
is dragged beneath the ocean surface. Oh shit. And you all start to descend. As you move down and down and down, the light from the surface, you realize, only pierces about 20 feet from the top of the ocean. It's actually very quick that you begin to lose the light.
And it's also in this moment that you realize you never had an opportunity to take a final breath. So as you descend, you feel your lungs empty. You become cold as the depths start to crush in. The pressure returns. The darkness returns. You lose sight of your friends. The boat is gone. You float there in the endless black, surrounded by no sound, no sight, no feeling.
Except cold loss when you start to feel when you start to feel not a current But the water move around you and a swirl as if something circles you we still have our equipment or it's more of like a We're like naked just ourselves And the doors open to the elevator and you find yourselves
Oh my god! You'll come back, I'm screaming and I'm like firing randomly out, like just in whatever direction I was facing. With three or four bolts, easily. That's not a blast. Let's see. You stupid bitch. Are we soaked? Are we dry? Like what's going on? I mean like, what's our current state? Can we breathe again? Oh my god. You can breathe again. You're not soaked.
In fact, looking around, your hair has its normal level of mousse. Everyone seems... I don't need a product. It's all natural, baby. You look at Rhett. No bruise to the jaw. Everyone, dry clothes. You were facing out of the front of the door. Says my D4.
as the door spread open. Quickly, as you look at your ether blasts firing out, you very immediately see the room in front of you. Ice stalagmites reaching up from the bottom, forming... Nice job. Forming... Forming like chunks and shards of ice in the ground. At the far end of this room,
you see the entire floor covered in a sheet of blue ice. The walls covered in ice. At the very far end, you see a... Not at the very far end, probably like, you know, 100 yards away from you. You see a large, almost what looks like a frozen waterfall. At its peak, in the ceiling of where you are, you see a large hole
that was blasted through the side of the underneath of this pyramid that exposes out into daylight. By Rhett? Nope. Oh, okay. That's so good. I was putting money on like, we were gonna see Rex there and he was gonna have a hole in his chest. And I would be like, "Yes! "Gotcha, bitch!" You do see Rex. His light gray duster, his white hat,
He's at that wall of ice. Several floating drill bots hang in the air. Laser beams attempting to pierce into it. As your aether blasts, boom, boom, boom, come a-knockin' into that wall of ice.
And he spins around. Oh, Rhapsody! I didn't think you'd ever catch up. Finally something I can get my hands on! And I'm gonna start running towards him. Whoa, whoa, why the animosity? Is this fucking real?
Oh, yes, why wouldn't it be? You caught up with me. Famous treasure hunter, Rex Maxim. Or Maximum Rex for the ladies. He stares over at Dandy and gives you a little bit of a wink. Pike, you look happy to see me. We've had quite the day, Rex. Don't get me started. Oh, well, you made it here.
It was touch and go for a second. I thought you'd get here at least ten minutes sooner. I don't know what happened. I've been trying to cut through this wall of ice for... what feels like a day. Haven't been able to penetrate it at all, but this whole thing just started heating up. And it's melting now. And thanks to your Aether Blast, I think I've cracked a little bit into it. And if the tales are true, there is a mighty powerful treasure behind here. Let's cut to the chase. What'd you take from the boss?
Oh, he sent you? Oh, man. You have never been able to pick a good boss yourself. I can't tell you that. Is LaBoose there? Up to him yet?
I would have been running, but if we want to say that when I don't see everyone else immediately running, I can stop halfway and we can do the monologue. That's fine, but I also would just run up and tackle him. I would say that when you get about halfway, he'll flail his duster out to the right, and you'll see hanging at his side, not an RNA, but a very mechanical-looking, what you believe to be a shotgun.
And he'd say, "Now hang on, the boosh! You just hold right there!" A man of taste, he watched the Terminator. How far away is he from us?
About 100 yards. About 100 yards. You're about the distance of the room. He's on the other side. We'll say Labouche is now about 50 yards away. I'll turn back and roll. Come on! Oh, I'm sorry. Actually, as you came to a stop, I need you to roll an athletics check, and you are dreaded. But as soon as you make me roll, I die. Athletics, you say? Use a different...
We need to use a different dice, I only have the two. No, use it here! No, I'm not gonna. It's ride or die! The links are like weighted. In a bad way. You know what? 15! Beautiful. You are able to-- That's good enough for government. You're running up, right? You have a lot of weight. You have grim purpose. You're pissed, you're angry. You don't know what the hell you've been through, but you understand the evolving situation. You come to a stop.
You, however, understand that the floor is ice. And as you come to a stop, you slide forward momentarily, but through your sheer force of will and brutish form, you're able to plant your foot into the ground and stop your forward movement. Yeah, well, I have no idea who you are, pretty boy! The name's Chuckles the Clown! It's not ice to meet you! As I'm running, I'm running behind Laboosh, and I'm gonna try to do, like, uh...
Like a, what is it? A skid to a stop. Yeah, a skid to a stop. How nice. Roll an athletics check at advantage. Advantage? But you are dreaded, so roll a strength. Oh, yeah. I do have the sticky squeaker.
I think that's just a 12, hold on, I don't know how- It could be athletics or acrobatics. Well, I'm very acrobatic. Well, not really. A 17, though! 17, you're able- you feel the exact same sensation, but you'd planned for this, you watch La Bouche. You ran up and you kind of like squeakily ice skate over to his side. I love that. Watching them just having done this, I will pull out a fresh cigarette, light it, look to Rhett and say,
I'm going to close some distance, and I'm going to calmly saunter and walk towards Rex. Not in a rush. I don't want to slip. You do, sir. I'm right behind you, buddy. You start making your way. I'll sort of speed out one hand in my pocket. Half a man behind Pike. I'm just going to sort of back him up and just slowly walk as well.
Is there a pedestal in this room? Like the ones that Dan used? Good question. Looking around, you do not immediately see one. Though you cannot tell what is behind this sheer wall of ice. It's clear that he seeks something.
You also, all these stalagmites that are rising up, you also can't quite tell if they like house something. They seem to be very solidly ice. Are there two that are like similar distance to the pedestals at the top? Roll an investigation check and you're dreaded. As soon as I see my friends approaching, I'm gonna look at Chakras and give sort of a juicy head nod and start to walk. Start to walk.
closer towards Rex. You don't see any that look too close together. Most of them seem to be relatively spread out from what you can see. As you start to walk a little bit closer, almost imperceptible, you'll catch this, but almost imperceptible, the Duster swirls out to the left. He taps his hip and bang, bang, bang.
Three shots go out into the ground in front of you. You don't even see the gun. As soon as I see the duster go, I would've also shouted "LOOSH!" as a warning sign, but it's the same time that the bullets go off. And I'm almost startled for a second. In the same moment, you call out your warning. "Whoa! Good eye, Pike." "Hang tight there, big guy." "Alright, I'm working on something." "And really funny joke there, friend. I see why they keep you around."
Yeah, that was bottom-of-the-barrel trash. I way thought a punk like you. Wow! How's that supposed to make me feel? Yeah, your name is Rex, like Tyrannosaurus Rex? You know what killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age! Idiot! Oh...
Oh, man. You guys. Great group of friends you're running around with here. Yeah. Can't... Go ahead. No, no, no. I insist. Can't we just have a conversation, Rex? Let's not let this fucking lead to violence. It doesn't have to. Maybe we can come to some fucking agreement.
Hey, I have no problem just chatting, friend. I'm just drilling through this wall and there's something I got to get to. There's a big treasure down here and I can't say no to that. As long as you don't have any intention to stop me or take me in, nobody's ever caught Rex Maxim, then I'll talk to you as long as you want.
I just want to shake your hand. I know. He's walking forward again. You just never learn, huh? So much respect. Oh, man. Once again, the left duster goes out, taps his side hip in the same format. Bang, bang, bang. But the second shot will tap your boot. Oh, I think I just ate the shots, right? That's how we always do it. Come on. What are we waiting for?
How many feet away is he? Before I respond. Probably, well from you? Yeah. Unless you were moving with him, you're probably about 50 yards, so like 150 feet. I've tried to make it another five or ten feet. You're probably, yeah, okay, you're like 40 yards maybe. It's just a couple more steps. I'm right behind him. Okay. How did you get down here?
What do you mean? I just had my friends here. They just were the robots. They just lowered me off the bridge. That explains a lot. You just jump straight in. I mean, it's open air down here. How'd you guys get down? Lower to the group so that he can't hear. You guys seem very gung-ho, and I'm going to lean in and just loud enough for everybody around me to hear but not for him to hear. I said this guy's kind of a jackass, but look at what kind of weaponry he's working with here, all right? Just everybody calm down.
Is anybody back with me? You are back? I'm gonna talk to you and be like, I think that we have been seeing the future. I saw us at the bottom of the ocean in my head. I felt it. And we were then there. I think the only thing that did not actually happen yet is that the planet was ruled by the Dark King with the crown.
I just wanted to, I just needed to say that. So you think that could happen? It could happen. It seemed inevitable at least. Do you feel anything down here like you did up there? I don't know. I'm going to try and actually like kind of look around, see if there's any gems, anything that looks familiar I'd be attracted to like I was in the top. Roll a perception check. But you are dreaded. To three? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You've done so many perceptions. Nine. Squarsh. You look around. This room's shrouded in ice. You see the stalagmites. You see Rex. You see the... Gosh, not yet, Rex. Not yet, man. You see the stalagmites. You see the ice wall.
You don't see anything strictly Saurian down here that you can tell. However, for the briefest moment, and it's fleeting, you catch through one of the blasts into the ice that's chunked out a bit. You catch what looks like the faintest glimpse of amber light coming from behind the sheet of ice. The light that was in the elevator? The light that...
came out of my body. Sorry. It is behind the ice. No, it is not. The light that came from you and that was in the elevator was ruby. Oh, and what is this color? Amber. Amber, which is more of an orangish yellow. Okay. Never mind. It is the color of the light that Kavir saw as he looked over the boat into the depths of the ocean. Oh. Did we see Amber somewhere else? It was just...
when we were in the boat and then i thought briefly beforehand you mentioned it once but again it was like a part of the visions or something while we were doing all this time whiny it's possible i was getting vertigo yeah she did she mention to me that she sees the emerald yeah i'm gonna mention it yeah i saw an amber light before we went into the water did any of us see anything when we were at the bottom of the ocean do we notice anything except for just like the dread
when we fell into the water. Just crippling, inevitable dread and the swirling of the waters around you leading you to believe that something had begun to circle you. But every time you thought you could catch the faintest glimpse of something just on the edges of the dark of the water, as quickly as you think that you've begun to form the shape of something in your eyesight, it was gone.
Maybe this light brought us down here. He was in the boat. It's behind the waterfall. Maybe we need to let him make his way through. Help him get through this waterfall. Head up to Pike and Red. I think it may be worth our time to help him right now. I just want to make sure you didn't hit your head. I know, I know. But there's something back there. He's trying to get to it. We're trying to get to him.
Why don't we get through and then we'll deal with Rex after? I'll tell you this. If you manage to make peace with the guy, and you get us close enough, when the opportunity arises, we'll take care of the rest. I could try. Sounds fucking mad, but if we can bargain with him, and if we help him, he'll give us information, and we can get to the bottom of this, and we can work out some kind of deal. I'm in if you are.
All right, I'm in. Meanwhile, up ahead, out of earshot, come on, let's... Okay, Laboosh. I'm going to get him right to you. Get ready to crush his skull. Can you convince him to play a game of patty cake with you? Oh, that's a devious idea. Then I will snap his neck.
Like so many broken pencils. Devilish idea, Thimor. I mean, Laboosh. I have no one stop me. I'm going to, as soon as... Chuckles hasn't heard any of this. And so my intention, as soon as I get 90 feet of...
of Rex that I frisbee my Looney Tunes Roger Rabbit hole and try to just deliver him directly to deliver him to the bush. I absolutely love it. You were only about 40 yards away, so it would take about five seconds for you to close that gap. Have I noticed him start moving it? Are you talking to Rhett? No.
Pike, you talking to Dandy? I would say be pretty. All right, so you start by saying, you know, just introduce yourself, just be nice and charming how you do, you know, flash that nice smile. All right. All right, and then... You're there. Oh, no. Clang, clang, clang, clang. Hey, Rex, what's a Beecherger's favorite game?
Well, I don't know. Patty cake! I cast Vortex Warp. Beautiful! Are you throwing your hat? Yeah. It's an odd job style. No, no, no, it's like a rolled up black hole. Like a portable hole. Portable hole. And it'll just, like Destructo Disc, um...
I love you Krillin. If you're watching. If you're out there Krillin. Big fan! I'm addressing the strongest human. Yeah, he's the strongest human! Everyone else is fucking... God! He needs to make a con 16 saving throw. Oh boy.
Please don't shoot shuffles. Or maybe you should. He fails. Wow! Where's this portal going, by the way? To the boot? And so it'll slide underneath them. Yeah. And I'll say, going down!
as he'll completely disappear into a black hole. Holy shit. And he might be traumatized from the horrible things that he sees in the Haunt stream, as right in front of Laboosh, a human-sized hole will open up, and he'll just, almost like a whack-a-mole, just be ejected up and standing directly in front of Laboosh. If I can, I will attempt to basically bear hug him and wrap him again and again and again in my gooey arms.
Let's see. That's a grappler. I mean, I don't know how you want to do it. If you want to make it a contest? Let's do a... Let's do a contest. Okay. I can do acrobatics or athletics. Your choice. You may choose. You are also dreaded. Okay. So I'll go... Are you the grappler? Yes. For you, it's only athletics. Okay.
It's only athletics. Yes. You-- he can choose-- if it's a grapple check, that's what's happening. And I have advantage on them, because I am amorphous, I believe. I'm not sure why-- I think it might be-- I don't know. D&D Beyond says I have advantage, so it's gonna be a straight roll if that's the case. Come on, dice baby! 21! Nice! Wow! With a natural 20.
Your arms extend out and look to wrap around him. Like a thunderclap, he kneels and in an instant, he explodes upwards, kicks off your chest, flips backwards about ten feet, and very quickly fans the hammer on his gun.
- Toast. - Yeah, this could be real bad toast. - I've been calling this guy a jackass. He might not be a pushover. - Get Rex. - Yeah, maybe. - You take 11 points of force. - I thought you were bad. - All right. - We're sending you back to the coo- - You guys just hit a lid on it. - That scared me. - Looks like it's just about time to limber up. I'll have to pick up my hat though.
And he slams a, almost like a wristwatch he's wearing on his left arm. You hear from in the distance, you hear the charge of an engine roar to life. And I need everyone to roll for initiative. - Yeah! - Oh man!
Wow. Not bad. Classic Derek. Not bad. Do I roll a disadvantage for the initiative? Is it the next one? Yeah. Oh, it is an ability check. Nice job, though. Okay. Yeah.
And Sue is like, "Oh, we just want a job!" 20 to 25? 24. 22. 21. Jesus. We all went down. Who had 24? If it's any of them, I was a nat 20 plus minus. Oh my god! You can just keep going. Who is, wait, Kvir Pyret? Kvir Pyret.
Get rekt, Rex. Oh boy. And then you shoot it down. Chuckles, Dandy, what did you get? 10. 10. Is he a large creature? Or is this more for representation? He will be. Oh jeez louise.
We can still view the situation. You say now, I love that. That's so funny. We come in peace. I changed my mind. That was fucking nice. We were just kidding. I mean, we were just kidding, bro. He's gonna go. We do that to each other all the time. She even thinks of the guy.
- Oh my god. - I'm sorry, Rexy, I didn't know it was you. I knew it was Rousey. I didn't know you were in the poker game. - Kuvir, it is to you. - What do I even do here? Okay, so after just shaking my head at the situation, I'm gonna move up. Let's see, where do I go? 30?
How do you move? What's the first movement you make? This way. Straight up? Before you're capable of turning, you have to make an athletics or acrobatics check. Ah, okay. You said acrobatic or athletics? Or athletics. Acrobatics or athletics.
Give it a twist. Yeah, we'll give it a twist. Give it a quick twist. How much better? Ten.
With a 10, you race forward. You see the action is on. Chuckle's hat flew out as it extended towards Rex. It hit the ground and turned into almost what felt like a shadow as it raced out across the ground towards him, opening a black circlet beneath him. Boom, boom. You see him kick back from LaBouche. Bow, bow, bow! The fanning of the gunfire going out.
It is on. You race forward to help your friends. You quickly pivot, but you lose your footing and you will continue forward until you strike an object. Oh! It's like that thing! Take me to the sliver. Yes, the points are objects, right? They're stalagmites. Chris. I'm stealing this. Do I take damage? You take four points of damage. All right. And that will consume your movement. Interesting. Okay.
Question for you. I have the ability to fly, technically. So I can float off the ground. Oh, okay. Is that as a bonus action? Oh, as a bonus action. I can take it as a bonus action, and then it lasts for 10 minutes. I have a flying speed of 30. Oh, shit. Oh, that's level 7 teacher. And I can hover. Oh, that's good. That's right. Yeah, the sand. The sand billows up.
So I'll just make sure that's kosher. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, I mean, that's what we need to do. Absolutely. Let's go. Okay. Well then. Okay. Does this impair my view of him at all? The slag mite in front of me? It looks like I can diagonally see him, but... Nah, you got a lot on his side. You got a lot on his side. So I'm going to hit him with my sandblast. Let's see. So I need a...
- He's hype, he's sad, he's hype. - Oh, a 10. - Twist that, twist that. - Oh, twist it? - Yeah, yeah, come on, it's the first round of combat, we gotta be goddamn. - 18. - 18 hits? - Yeah. - 18 hits, all right. - Hell yeah. - His head explodes, killing him instantly. - Is that a d10? - Yes. - Yeah, thank you.
I don't like sand. 10? 10? 10x on that is 15. It's harsh and it's coarse and it gets everywhere. I love it. 15 points of damage? 15 points of damage, yeah. And then my Sands of Time will take an action, so I do 1d6 piercing damage. Gotcha. Use the old gold dice. It's a 6.
That feels pretty good. So he's 21 damage so far. Is that max damage? That's max damage, yeah. Jesus. And then I will cast my flint. So
So I will swirl the sands beneath me in sort of like a nimbus cloud almost below me, and then it'll lift me off the ground. They swirl and shape and form beneath you as your legs do kind of disappear into the cloud as you levitate briefly off the ground. You can see just over this stalagmite, and you now get the sense that you can move freely throughout the room. Excellent.
- Pike. - Okay, I am going to use some of my movement to move forward.
I'll move five, 10, 15, 20. And then before I hit the stalactite with a flash of radiant, like magenta light, I will disappear as I use starlight step to appear beside him. Both of my fists glowing with radiant light. And I say, surprise, jackass. And I'm going to multi-attack him. Roll an athletics or acrobatics check. Okay.
You got this. You got it. Acrobatics, I guess. Oh boy. Uh oh. It's still good. It's still good. It's an 11? Twisted, twisted, twisted. No, no. What? I don't know why I'm not proficient in acrobatics. You are, you are. We'll fix that. 100% attitude to that. That's still only gonna be a 14. You shout surprise, Jackass. Yeah, twist it. We're gonna twist it. We're gonna twist it. No good. No good.
14. So even though I'm blinking, I'm still moving? I would say that even though you blink from the movement as you approach the stalagmite, you would carry that inertia through the movement. Sure. I think, unless anybody... It's your call. I disagree. So you get up right next to him.
and your fists flaming with a punch ready to go. You say, "Surprise, jackass!" as you start to just slide towards the ice wall. I will, however, give you an attack of opportunity as you're moving away from him, and you have enhanced agility. But you can't attack him multiple times. Okay. Well, you would-- yeah.
What is that? You still have movement left. This is your turn, right? Oh yeah, I only used 20 of my 45 movement. So the question is, did he slip when he first started? So he slipped and he's going towards here, and then he can teleport and attack while prone. Oh, that's a good question. Oh, I slipped before I even teleported? So that's the question. Do you slip at the end or the beginning of the movement? You would slip when you, like, pause in your movement. What I would say is if your intention was to move towards that stalagmite
steady yourself, like stop yourself from moving against the slag mite and then teleport, you will not have to roll an athletics check. You would kill your momentum. If I can do that, then sure. Yeah, then that's fine. Yeah. Any movement... It's totally up to you. Any movement where you move in a direction and then either try and turn or stop, you will roll an athletics or acrobatics check or you will continue to move. Oh, okay.
So I could just like... If you ran up to this stalagmite, directly at it, you like brace against it, then you stop your momentum, and then if you teleport, you'll be right up on him. Okay. I apologize for not understanding the mechanic. I'll take whatever damage I have to take. I didn't explain it, nor have we ever used it before. For the, uh... Four points of damage. Okay. And then I'll blink and yell "Surprise, jackass!" And I'll attack him twice.
Ha! That's gonna be an 18 to hit and a 24 to hit. Sorry, 18 and then whatever, 22. 18 and 22 to hit. Both hit? Okay. Then I'm gonna spend a ki point to make one of them the stunning strike. Oh shit. So he will have to make a DC 15 con saving throw. And if he fails, he'll be stunned until the end of my next turn.
You launch in with these flaming fists. The two of you trade blows. You throw the first. He spins his pistol and redirects your fist off from him. He goes, he draws his weapon. He begins to grab the shotgun as he pulls it up.
You reach out with your foot and you disarm it, kicking it to the side. And then you jab him twice quickly in the center, landing solid blows. When you go for a third to stun him, he reaches out fast with his now extended hand and grabs your wrist, stopping the stunning blow. - Dang. - Okay, but he'll still take from the attacks one, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 22 points of damage for two attacks.
as this radiant light is, uh, exploding from my fist as I'm making connections. And then he'll grab my wrist and we'll be like locked. That's my whole turn. Incredible. Rhett? Oh god, um... My range is really short. One, two, three, four, five... Okay, I don't think I can get closer.
Use the momentum, Brett. Oh god, here we go! One, two, three, four, five, six. Acrobatics or athletics? Acrobatics or athletics. We're doing athletics on this one. I'm gonna double check my character sheet while we're doing this.
- Natural one. - Twist it. - You got a little boost. - Should I twist it? - Twist it. - Yeah. - This is the wrong guy. - Especially for athletics. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oy vey. - Okay, okay. - When can one use a reaction?
Is it one time per round? Once per round. At any time? Some reactions have a trigger that need to be hit, but sometimes you can just choose to do it depending on what it says. Basically, you have a reaction at the start of your turn, and at the start of every one of your turns, that refreshes. Yeah. I like to think about it that way, because sometimes you want to use your reaction on your turn. It's unusual, but it happens. Good explanation. It's like the Sands of the Gathri. Delve damage with an attack, they take damage with the Sands of Time. Yeah, it's specific to your shit.
That's a ship-a-bill. It's not. Okay. I ship you. Nine?
It's so funny how often I never think about what colliding looks like. You race forward. You move and you step. You're a fucking turtle on your bike. You slip on the guys and you definitely do that. You slide. You're spinning on the either engine. You collide with Pike. You're like a fucking group of people. You're like
We're like locked in combat. You're like, oh. What the hell? Oh, hell, this is going to be funny. He breaks free of holding you quickly as the two of you collide and both slide towards the ice wall.
Oh god, how far? Until you collide with the ice wall. What?! There's no way for me to get out of the way? Oh, this is where the amber light is coming from? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. That's funny, holy shit. As we hit the wall, I'm gonna yell, "Ugh, get off me, you big lock!"
Oh gods! I'm gonna hold and stand up. You don't have to use half your movement, that was just for flavor. You're not prone doing it, that was just Koopa Shell was the best way to do it. Oh gods, Pike, I told you to watch out! Do I still have my action? Sure, oh yeah, absolutely. However, Pike. Yes? When you collided with the wall and you touched the ice, you, for a brief second,
Saw yourself once again at the bottom of the ocean in the crushing depths, surrounded by no sound, the cold, but not the crushing darkness. Just in front of you, you see the faintest glow of an amber light, and then you snap back. I went from yelling at Brett to all of a sudden being like... Catatonic. Yeah, catatonic, and then I come back...
And I'm still holding on to him. It's like that Avatar moment where he hits his back on the rock and then the flash shoots through him like a lightning strike. But you're immediately back. Like, for the split of seconds, you have that vision. Okay. Jeez. Um... Sure. Can I see his... Can I see his... either of his guns? Um... Yeah. Uh... Do you need to, like, visually see them? Yeah. Um...
I would say that probably his shotgun is exposed to you. Um, I am going to... Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to yell out to him. I'll give you one last chance, Rex!
"This doesn't have to end in blood!" And I'm going to turn a knob on my cannon, and it's going to start to spin and churn and kind of turn, you know, use alchemy on all of the ether that is pumping into it. As instead of the normal lob or shot, there's almost like this pinpoint beam of gravitons that shoot out right at his shotgun.
and, uh, basically like a particle condenser, and it will speed up the particles of his shot- what, is it made of metal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, and I'm casting Heat Metal on it. And so... Holy shit! So he can choose to drop the shotgun. So he can disarm himself if he wants, but if he chooses to hold on to it, he'll take some fire damage. Uh... We'll see. Um...
That's incredible. He does take 2d8 fire damage to start. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse
turn, stop drilling, and they turn. We just look up like, uh-oh. He takes nine points of damage. I'm so excited to fight some golems. Oh, and you need to make a constitution saving throw or drop the object if it can.
So during his epic one-liner, he might scream in pain. "Or be buried here." "Aah! Fuck!" He draws the shotgun, levels it at you, and says, "Or be buried here." "Oh, fuck! Fuck, ah!" And he casts it to the ground. "What the hell, man? That's firety!" "Like I said, last chance!" That's my turn. Yeah, I think that's it. That's incredible.
Cross that, we can't talk. Oh, right. What? Uh-oh. And it's at this moment, can you place those out? Put those, I remember there only being two. Where would you like them? Kind of, are they on the floor? Yeah, along the wall. Right next to Rhett. They'll be fine. They're gonna kind of be like here. Pike. You win a drill bot and you win a drill bot.
Reasonable? They're all at different points. Totally perfect. They would have been spread out drilling the wall, so I think that's perfect. That's perfect. We both stop, and Rhett and I look at each other and we're like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. The two furthest back to the ice wall will move towards Rhett and Pike. The other four, and they have 30 feet of flying movement, they will move towards the party and whoever they can try and get towards. How much do they have? 30 feet.
Who can they actually hit? Oh, are they melee only? No, they have like, we'll say 15 feet of drill range. They can one hit Kavir. And you two? Oh, 15 feet? Yeah. No, they can only one hit Kavir. Yeah, so it's just one pike, one rat, and then one on Kavir. Wow, that's close. So we'll do pike, rat, Kavir. Danny's back here. You can try.
The robot swings in, "This is not a drill!" Oh wait, it is! 19, 20, and 16 for Pike, Rhett, Kavir. Hold on, hold on, hold on. The 19 ties and hits me, but it's melee, so I'm gonna use Move Like Water, which is my reaction. If I'm the target of a melee attack, then-- oh shit, I missed.
Fuck, I thought I could fuckin'-- ah, you tricky bastard. I take the damage. Does it have to miss? Yeah. Okay. You said 20? 19, 20, and 17? Yeah, that's what you said. Pike? 20 misses. Damn! What a son of a bitch. Yeah, because-- Rich always somehow manages to find 23 AC out of his ass. I love the artificers! Artificers. He hits his backstab, he's on his stomach.
It's a deflector shield? It's a melee attack, right?
It's got that range we can treat it melee. It also has a ranged attack component. I'm trying to be sneaky. So the first hit deals seven points of fire damage. The second deals five points of fire damage. Five to me, seven to him? Yeah, seven is whatever it was. You're first, seven, five. Question. When we hit the ice, the stalagmites, is that technically bludgeoning damage? Yeah. So I would take a half.
Oh, cool. Okay. Damn. Heck yeah. Okay. It's at this moment...
You understand what he was doing when he clasped his wrists, when he slapped his wrist? Because exploding through the opening at the top of the room, the black speeder jumps in as he calls it to him. What a scumbag. It crests out and then falls towards the ground. As its hover ability, ice and mist shoots out as it zips towards him.
He leaps onto it, grabbing it with his right hand. The hover bike spins in a circle. Here's for my fans. And as he says it, he fans the gun. I need everyone to make a dex saving throw. Should we see a large creature now that he's on the bike raft? I love that, man. Well done, well done. All of us? Dude, isn't there a boss in fucking Shadows of the Empire? 18. It's a guy on a speeder bike? Yes.
I'm getting visions of fucking some game. There's a speeder bike level. There's a guy on a speeder, anyway. I would say this guy would be something like 15. Dante's-- 15's the DC, so if you meet 15, you'll take half. If you fail, you'll take full. The damage is 12. Oh, that's so fixed. Six if you pass, 12 if you fail. Is it force or piercing? I am dying. It's force damage.
from the pistol. As he spins around, light blue beams fire off in everyone's direction. As he was briefly standing on the bike, his duster swirls about him. It's so hard to actually catch the pistol in his hand as the blasts fire out. You, however, can. Dandy. All right. Oh no, that doesn't count as an ability. I'm gonna move up right next to you on your right. Me? Yep.
One, two, three. I have to know what direction you move first. Oh, is it diagonal? Diagonal, she's diagonal. Diagonal. And I think I could move one more. Can you move one more? Yeah, I'm trying to get around that thing. You have to make an acrobatics or athletics check? Check, which means no disadvantage. Huh? It is a B-word. Holy shit. Uh-oh.
Twisted, twisted, twisted. Okay, I'm twisting it. One twisted and leafed, and leafed! Do I roll them both again or just one? Just one. Well, okay. Okay. Let's do 11. Oh no! 11 fails.
You start, you run up towards wherever you're going there. You come to a planted stop, you start, your energy will glow and form as you, as you continue to slip and you'll collide with this stalagmite that's diagonally, whatever that one right there. That seems fine. That's fine. Die. Oh! And you'll take three points of bludgeoning damage. Oh my gosh. Dandy, I'll help you.
And he'll grab my hand and my glove will just, "Oh no, my gag glove! "Why did I have that?" I'll move the glove, it's another glove. It's the exact same glove. What is this with my hand?
You may even put another one on. It squirms a life and then just walks away on two fingers. I can still shoot Rex, even though he's not-- you said he's on a bike now? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a bigger target. Yeah. Oh shit. That was magical. How'd you do that? I don't know what's on a hare. I was like, you didn't touch anything. It was like, whoa. That was super crazy. There's a lot of hare in this house. There's some hare in this house! There's some hare in this house!
I'm going to attempt to attack him. Oh shit. But he needs to-- I need to hit. Do we know his hit?
No, I don't think so. We don't know. And I'm at its ability, so I'm at, ooh, that's okay. 18 to hit. 18 hits? Yeah, all right, so I'm casting Guiding Bolt, which is gonna look like the lightning, but the color will be red, the ruby color that it was. Oh, yeah. And I'm gonna be casting that. It'll come from my forearm and go towards Rex, and it'll hit.
And also, whoever goes after me has advantage because there's gonna be that color glittering around him. Oh, sick. And the damage. Your arm glows with an unnaturally bright ruby light that forms all around your forearm as it spins and swirls and forms at the end of your palm. As you blast out a larger beam of guiding light than you have before, as it lands squarely on Rex.
Nice. And the damage is, ooh, 11, 12, 14. 14 major damage. And I'm going to cast as a reaction the Cosmic Omen. Let's see what I got. Yes, so that adds six points. Ooh! Six additional points of damage? Yeah. Let's go. Hell yeah. I love Guiding Bolt.
So is it only for the next person's turn? It's for the next attack. Until he gets hit? Yeah. Well, if it's an attack left. So let's say if I use something that's a saving throw, it won't use up the guiding bolt. But if LaRouche attacks and misses, it's still going. It's still going. So it's only once he's hit. So basically, if you use the guiding bolt to hit... I thought it was for a single attack, whether it hits or not. No, it's just for the next hit. I think you have to land it to consume it. Oh, okay. That's pretty good. So Piano plays like in...
Breath of the Wilds, when one of the colossuses comes and turns red and kills you. This ruby guiding light stretches out as it blasts over the floor, almost like a mirror glimpse of it in the ice as it travels over. It lands squarely into Rex, rocking the speeder, oh, as it hits him. Chuckles. I am going to run forward
As I run and as I'm dressed in my full blue parka thing, I'll reach into my hat and I'll pull out that big wooden mallet. Acrobatics or athletics check, please. Oh, really good. Like a, hold on. 23. Dread. Oh! Dang.
- Oh no! - Nine! - I'll do it. - I'm spinning around like an ice climber side B. - Oh my gosh. - That's actually incredible. Yeah, it's like King Dedede as you swirl around and you will actually, oh wait, which one are you?
You will, uh, these things are light. These drill bots. You will move forward and you will continue until you collide with the ice wall. And as you do, uh, the force of your... No, with the ice wall. Oh. You, as you, you will take that with you. Oh! Oh, you take it with you. As you get there, you will destroy those two. Oh! Oh!
Wow. And they're still like all tangled up. We just like cover each other and shrapnel explodes. I'm spinning. I'm spinning. And my mallet smashes into the first one. And I'm spinning, spinning, spinning and smashing into the second one. Oh!
It's escalating quick. As I am going to, as I just completely lose control, as I smash into the wall, and I'm flavoring this as being unintentional, Mr. Magusha, but as I cast a third level catapult, as I smash into the thing, the hammer goes flying towards, towards what's his face? Towards Ugros. As you're swimming,
and your hammer spins around you as you spin to and fro while wearing your blue parka, your hat on top of it. It collides with the ice wall in a squeaky, like that red Super Smash hammer, in a squeaky like
When it hits the wall, it bounces off of it aggressively, flies out of your hands, you can't hold your grip, it spins through the air and it catapults towards Rex Maximum. Dexterity saving throw. Close, nice. This is terrifying. 13. That failed. Get rekt!
Jukes on you, this hammer's a piano! Oh, it didn't do very well. The piano's coming later. I know the piano's coming later. Yeah, at some point. It's gonna happen. That is four, five, ten, fifteen points of, I believe, bludgeoning damage. Didn't do very well. Is it bludgeoning? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's bludgeoning. Yeah, it's got, yeah. You threw a hammer at him. Yeah. Yeah.
And it completely smacks its splinters as soon as it hits something. And it does that. You also see that as it collided with the ice wall, a crack shot up from where your hammer landed on it. The length of the wall of ice to the ceiling, it doesn't look deep, but it is penetrating. And as you connect with the wall as well. Nope, we don't want that. Oh, I didn't take damage.
Oh, right. Five points of bludgeoning damage. Lord. Uh-oh. As you connect with the wall, you find yourself in the ocean's depths. You cannot breathe. Your lungs have no air. You're surrounded by darkness. You can't hear. You can't see. You don't know which way is up. You don't know which way is down. You search.
I might be wrong.
I thought it was on to something. As the hammer explodes as it connects with Rex Maximum.
I make the same polar bear in the pink speedo in front of the glasses as a balloon animal, and I send it over to Yosie's Barricade of Parasite. What am I supposed to do with this? Let it inspire you. We're like showered in shrapnel. It's giving you a weird balloon thumbs up. Laboosh. How's he looking?
He's looking confident. Oh, I need a chip. We've barely touched him. And do I get the feeling on his bike that he is resistant to sliding on the ice? His bike is a hovercraft. You absolutely get the sense that he will have, similar to what Kvir enjoys, he will have uninhibited movement as he traverses this terrain. So if I were to move and accidentally crash into him, he would be unaffected probably.
We'll see what happens. Yeah, we'll see what happens. So this entire time it's been chaos, but I have gotten a couple wounds in my arms in some of my non-armored areas, and they're just starting to close up very Terminator 2 style. And I've been watching, and I put my hand on the actual ice sheet floor, and from the wrist of my bangle, let it ooze out almost like a pancake, getting wider and wider and wider. And I let myself get cold. I let my hand breathe. And then when I...
crunch it out. I have a giant circular shield for one arm and I go into a rage and I, because I can reach this far, I pull back with my other arm and come back down with a huge cannonball crash just slamming into him from that direction and I say something really badass.
I don't know what it is, but it sounds really cool. You all love it. It's ice to meet you. I already said that! Laboosh, what the fuck, man? What would Laboosh say? Come on, man. No, and what I will say is that, I will say, I know what I'm going to say. Go to sleep. Because I'm going to use non-lethal attacks for this. And I'm going to do a reckless. I know that guy involved. What do you mean? Oh, he's telling me going back to the cooler. Oh!
You're so cool. Wait, no, fuck. Oh, say we're going to turn him into the triceratops. This was cocked. Hold on. That's really good. Natural 20. Yeah!
These dice are rolling horribly, except when I want them to. I'm ready, it's ride or dice, baby, ride or dice. Okay, that's my first attack. The goose is OD'ing on Gophiel. And I have a second attack, and I'm just going to-- Oh yeah. The other one is going to be a 28 out of seven. The curse is broken. Okay, so that's going to be three of these.
Yay. That's acceptable money. Acceptable money. Acceptable money is what I was calling it. 17, 27. Huge. 31 points of non-lethal bludgeoning damage as I crash down attempting to knock him the fuck out.
And then I look behind my shield. Go to sleep. Oh, tell him with that hat he looks like he should be named Tyrannothor's text. Oh, yeah, that's absolutely what I say. You look like all hats and no cattle. You punch your... Good try,
- It's not my thing, I just hit through the heart. - You punch your fist up into the air, it becomes enormous, like a crashing meteor, it picks up speed as you launch it down on top of him. And you hit him so hard, you have pushed the hover bike into the ice. And the force of the blow cracks its body slightly. It still hovers and will operate,
However, it is at, mechanically, you will understand that it's at half the speed it would have had before you did that. And he would have enjoyed offering you disadvantage on opportunity attacks, and now that will not exist as well. Nice! I came in like a wrecking ball. You will effectively move. That is what I was expecting. That's very on brand for Darragh. What am I doing? It's been a long day. It's been a long day.
- Oh, man, it's back to you. - All right, so I actually forgot that my sandblast is two beams in the first round, but anyway, we won't forget this round. So after having seen LaBouche's incredible display of strength and what happened to the speeder, I'm gonna target him, but specifically the speeder with my sandblast. - Ooh.
Twist one, twist one. Yeah, twist one. That's one of the twists. Boom! That's a hit. 26. Oh, that hits. That hits, yeah. Nice. And then we'll do the d10. So five plus five is 10. And then the one d6 from the sands of time. Nice! So it's 14.
14 damage? 14 points of damage. Is your sand like pouring out of your hourglass thing? Yeah, so it's all basically out at this point. The majority of it is using, not majority, but half of it would be around my legs, like keeping me afloat. Oh yeah. And the rest is all around you. So it's basically all around you at this point. You're just like, oh, that's sort of whipping. Yeah, that's awesome. The sand swirling at your feet, draw around your arms and almost like swirling solid bangles. And as you gesture your arms out,
They swirl into your palm and fire forward. And both will fly out, land solid blows onto Rex. As they deal a really big amount of damage. That wrecking ball attack coupled with this has pushed him over the edge. So he's dead. Of a reason. Oh, okay. Why use a high-speeder?
- The speeder. - I'm just attacking the speeder. - What? - I'm just shooting for the speeder. - It's coarse and it gets everywhere. - It does start to get into the, there's an open crack in the speeder. There's an open crack and you can, looking closely, you can see the mechanics of it. Nothing seems to happen to it as of yet.
The bots have explored the shrapnel, we're screaming, Chuckles has handed me a horrific Coca-Cola bear. I'm like, "Ah, damn it, Chuckles! I'll be back!" And in a flash, I Starlight Step again.
And I peer behind him, behind Rex. And as you step, the polar bears are in front of you as it's walking. Floating around. And then as I land in front of Rex, I'm going to again, or behind Rex, I guess, depending on which way he's facing, I'm going to deliver two more punches with radiating light emanating from my fists as I say, Give it up, Rex! You're just an amateur!
I'm gonna use my inspiration on this five here, which is a what D? What D is it for the inspiration? D6, right? Let me make sure about D8. No, I think it's a D8. Oh, D8. And you can add it to damage to attack roll. So 20 to hit and then 17 to hit. 17 hits, that is the AC. For inspiration.
Fucking huge. That's gonna be 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. 27 points of damage over two attacks. Oh yeah. Again, non-lethally, but I wanna, I'm going body shots. I'm trying to like break some ribs. I might hit him with a, you know, a swift kick to the ribs. You're throwing in blows, punch after punch after punch, kick lands down. He's matching your, uh,
movements as you throw them out. But that was just to faint him into, uh, classic maneuvers. As he begins to catch the cadence of your blows, you ship the speed quickly. Uh, and when he goes to block, you faint in and catch him right in the kidney. Uh, two quick hits. You barely even pull back as the second blow lands right behind it in rapid succession. Uh, and you deal, uh, enormous damage. Uh,
And now he's starting to like, he's gripping his side. He's looking a little rough. That's my turn. I'm there face to face with him. Is his shotgun still on the ground? Oh yeah. Okay, I'm going to maintain concentration on it. Just to keep it hot so that he doesn't, he's disencouraged. He's not encouraged to pick it back up.
And I will, am I able to take shots, like an aim for his bike, hoping that that would at least be less lethal if I'm like just trying to destroy it from under him and-- Sure, yeah. Okay.
- All right, I'm tired of this. And I will turn a knob on my cannon and it will start to almost supercharge. It will grow that deep black hole. The edges will grow a brighter purple as it spins faster. And I will take two superpowered shots at him.
No, not the Gassatron Hovercraft 5000! It's fusion powered! Say goodbye to your Decemberween present, Chuckles. I will take a step away. I'll take a five foot step and we'll just see what happens here. This is important. As I'm powering up, I just walk forward. And... All the way down.
I think you should twist it. Twist it, twist it, twist it. Twist it.
It looks better. 13? 13 what? 13 is my athletics roll. It's a slybo now. The DC's 15. Ah! Does he go all the way to the... He will move until obstructed by an object. I'm like locked in combat with him and I look as you go by and I'm like, where are you going? Come on, buddy! Oh!
Well, Gaia and Zeus! That's fucking... You will take ten points of bludgeoning damage from crashing into this stalagmite. Is that dependent on how far you travel? It is a factor.
Fuck this ice! The little arms on my back will stand me up as I'll just turn and I'll... I'll fire two shots. Oh, that's actually pretty fucking good. 18, 17. Huge! Yes, both hit. Nice. So I will do... Let me get all the dice that I need. That's one, two... Get fucked.
Three, come on, where's a d8? Some dice, I got some dice. Four, you want some dice? I got some dice. Some dice? Got some chips, got some dips. That sounds good. That could be a better seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, seven plus 20 is 47 points of force damage. Now you want to do this.
- Holy. - If I can flavor it this way, I'll step forward and get away from this bot so he doesn't fuck with my shot. Get the fuck away from me and I'll take two steps forward and I'll slip on my back, oh! And I'll start sliding. I'll be like, ah! And then as I am passing, I see I'm passing right by him, I'm just gonna turn
and like supercharge my cannon right as I'm sliding past him and do like a massive blast just right under his bike and explode from under him as I slide past. Um, and then hit the stalagmite. You take two steps forward. Uh,
and immediately slip. Your feet go out from under you. You land on the ether engine. You begin to spin. The room is just a mess of swirling ice around you. You can't tell top from bottom, but as you approach, you gain pinpoint on Rex. You draw the cannon. The ether engine
starts to whir up. A coalescing blast of force pools at the end of it. And as you're right next to him, as you're melee range, he looks down laughing at you.
Oh, fuck. As the cannon finds the open space, you see the crack where LaBouche had smashed it into the ground and it split up in its center. You see the sand starting to erode some of the metal, opening it even further. The machinery already starting to go a little down. And as you spin by a freeze frame for one second,
As the cannon blasts into the center of the bike, it immediately explodes in an ice blue electric flash and he is flung up high into the air. And he will be sent towards the ice wall. - Oh no. - Can I try to catch him? - You're 15 feet away. - Right now my reach is 30.
I just want to see if I could grab him out of the air. But if he's already on his way. Acrobatics check. No, no, no, if he's already on his way, it's like 14 turns later. I would just be like ducking cover from the blast from the bike exploding and like trying to cover my head. Your matrix dodging all the traps. What do you want me to roll? Acrobatics check. Just straight ac? Is the curtain ac? Classic. Seven. You fire out your hand.
But the blast is forceful. This is not just a normal cannon. The power that coalesces when Rhett pulls energy together is the reversal of the gravitational pull itself. He is launched back at a speed that is similar to the movement Pike does when he throws a punch.
Rex is flying through the air. It's frightening. And he... You fire out an extended arm as you go to grab and you just tickle the bottom of the shoe. I grab the shotgun. Your hand falls and it lands right on top of the shotgun. This is the heated metal. And Rex slides back, hits the ice wall and slides...
Slides down. We killed him, killed him! Ah, we don't know yet. Are these bots still attacking us? Nah, they exploded. When the bike exploded, yeah. Yeah, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I'm right next to him. All right. My butt is against the ice wall as my legs are up against it. After like, I'm like, where's my hammer? And I'll just look over and he's right. Is he unconscious against the ice wall? You have to inspect him.
Sound off. Is everyone all right? I will move my shoes forward and then stand up vertical along the wall. I'll then walk back down onto... Actually, I'll walk along. I'll step back down here and I'll say, Hey, buddy!
Are you alive? The bounty said alive, so I hope you're not dead. As I walk over to him to check him out. I'm fine, and I'll let my shield hand disconnect from my goo and it'll shatter into green pieces at the floor and then my hand will reform. I'll start to make my way. Roll a medicine check and you are dreaded. Oh, that was a 20. Just roll high again.
Oh, 15! Beautiful. Wonderful, wonderful. It's as easy as that. You're very confident that he's dead. Oh, that's probably true. Hold on. Medicine, medicine, medicine, medicine. Plus one? 16. Hey! I'll--
I'll have my hat on top of my parka, and I'll pull out a stethoscope, and now I'll put it around my head like Dr. Mario. So I have a parka with a bowler cap and a stethoscope. Dr. Chuckled it in! Oh boy. Okay, and I'll just grab him up by the scruff. Hey! Are you alive?
You slap him forward and backward on the face, you move your stethoscope to and fro, first to his neck, then to his eyeballs, then to his thigh, then to the large piece of metallic shrapnel sticking out of his abdomen. At which point, you shout out, "Hey, I think I found the problem!" "Oh, here's the problem!" "There's a giant shard of speeder bike metal in his bowels!"
It's more like in his rib cage. You get the same thing. Oh, in his ribs! He's bleeding, and he's bleeding not what I would describe as not heavily. Not not heavily. Something that approaches heavily. So moderately? Moderately, for sure. The blood is starting to pool out, but it is so cold in this room that it's slowing the flow of blood. Chuckles, whatever you do, don't pull it out.
Hold on, hold on. No, no. Pull it out.
He's just like, "E-R, E-R, E-R, E-R!" The arms on my pack are gonna stand me up again, and I'm gonna be like, "All right." And then I'm gonna slowly, almost leaning back, and the arms are gonna be doing this along the ground behind me to give me extra stability. And I'm gonna approach Chuckles and Rex. I'll be approaching with the rest of the gang. Sam. Yeah, I'll be floating over. We'll make our way over slowly. How's he looking?
He seems to be breathing, although he's bleeding profusely on account of the speeder bike shrapnel that is littered all throughout his body. Hold him still, and I'm going to take out my pack, will pass me this big stim pack that has a big needle on the bottom of it, and I'm going to stick it into his chest, and you'll hear this
Casting Spirit of the Dying on him. Yes! Wow. Clever son of a gun. First time I've seen that used in six years. That's amazing! And actually used in a legitimate bounty hunter campaign! You're staying alive, you son of a bitch! The spell makes him stable, if that'll work. Also, he's immune to rabies now. Without healing and making him conscious, which you don't want.
It does so. I would say with that movement, the shrapnel will actually be pushed out of his abdomen and from the injection in his chest, you pull it out. And before the blood explodes and you realize what you've done, you actually see a white line of foam start to fill in the wound. It's almost like an expanding sealant closes it up. Though you don't get the sense that this is healing him.
just that it has spared his life. - Before-- - Take a chat, Rhett. - I like the flavor if the Duggan master will allow. Where before Rhett says anything or I'm not listening, he's stepping over, there's a bunch of shrapnel in him, I'll pull it out, and then it'll, guys, it'll plug it, and it's another wound, and I'll plug that, and then it'll start bleeding another,
And so I'm-- Yeah, and so I'm looking out, trying to basically plug off his wounds. I walk off. Okay. Oh gosh. Is he still alive? He'll live. I don't know how long it's gonna be till he wakes up, but we should have at least an hour or so. That should give us time to get back. Yeah, can we please get out of here?
I've had enough of all this ice, this frozen wasteland. We got the guy. Let's just get out of here, all right? We've got what we came for. No, but-- No. Yeah, no. We need to have-- find answers for Dandy's creation and origin and her strange visions of the bleeding star and the tomb that was heralded by it. Then why did we just destroy all of these Drillbots? Ugh!
I guess they were trying to kill us. All I start walking up and thinking like, well, Rex was looking for what is behind this wall, the amber light that we've seen. The boss wanted us to bring the thing he thought Rex would have. Should we get the thing? Should we try and blast this wall? Whatever's behind that wall, as soon as I touched it, I had the same experience that you guys had on the bridge.
I don't like whatever's behind there. Oh, me too. I think we're dealing with things that we don't understand. Those of us that hadn't touched the wall during that interaction, now that we're close to it, do we feel anything? The closer you move to the wall, the more immense pressure you sense around you. But if you're not touching it, nothing occurs beyond that. Can I see the amber through that big crack that...
Chuckles created. Can I see the activation check? And you are dreaded. Oh, man. Oh, beautiful. Nice fucking go. 22. You walk up to the ice wall. You get close enough to the viscer that formed.
Rex was already drilling into this. Prior to the temple warring to life, he had described it as entirely impenetrable, the freezing cold, so impossible to cut through. You may think he was moments from giving up, but the temple coming to life, heating up, had gotten it to a place where it had begun to give way, under checking. The drill, the ether blasts, the hammer,
Rhett smashing into it with his giant body. It has loosened the hold that this wall has on whatever it contains. And as you walk up to the visor, you might even briefly just put your hands in just to kind of glimpse in. And as you do that, you find yourself deep beneath the waves. Your hands extended out in front of you. You can't breathe. You can't hear anything.
You can't smell. You can't feel. You start to move your arms, flailing, desperate for any movement. Not even to just escape, but for any sign that you aren't alone, lost in an endless void of which you can never escape. It's in this moment, like stars start to erupt around you.
A shimmering, hazy black obstructs your vision. You feel as if something has reached up from the depths and wrapped itself all around you. You try and push it off. There's nothing there but the crushing sense that you're being held and dragged ever deeper. In front of you, you see an enormous amber light. You move back from the ice wall. Oh, God.
That was the worst one. Tavir, are you okay? I think so, now that I'm here, but that was terrible. There was something dragging me down. The light was bigger and brighter than it's ever been. I don't know what's behind there. If these visions are getting worse, I really feel like we are messing with stuff that we don't understand. Our only way out is back through the lift. Oh, here's the thing.
Is it safe to say that I have restraints on me, being a bounty hunter? Trick. Yeah. So I'll, once I make sure that he's not dead, these grav cuffs, these grav shackles, I'll put in his wrists and his ankles, and I'll say, well, here's the thing. We know Rex was looking for whatever the fuck that is.
Who's to say that if we leave it here alone right now, someone else won't come back for it? The boss won't send somebody? Does he know where the fuck we are? We still do not know what Rex stole or what he was looking for. Does he have anything in his pockets? Hi, did you not search him yet? I was a little too preoccupied with the Wall of Ice and I'll immediately, like,
kind of like scoff, and I'll begin to go through his jacket, his pockets, and see what I can find. Roll an investigation check. I'd be honored. And you are dreaded. Of course. Would I be able to assist? I'd be like, "I'm sorry, you've all coated in his own blood. "I tried to thop it." Sure, you can assist. You can roll an advantage, but you're still dreaded, so you roll straight.
17. 17. With a 17, you pat him down. You check the duster. You find his pistol at his left hip. I pick it up. I look at it and I go...
Eh, not my style. You toss it behind you, it clatters onto the ice and slides towards the center of the room. It continues until it strikes a slag mite. You search the rest of them, you find a large sapphire, about the size of a deck of cards. And you find a golden ornate key.
that has an embossed end, two points that extend out, and two key heads that move outward from it. And the end of it, like where you would hold, seven, seven, seven. And that's everything I find? That's what you find. I think I know where that goes. After searching for a few minutes, I'll stand up, I'll walk over Rhett and say, "Jackpot!" And in one hand I'll have the sapphire, and in the other hand I'll have the key.
777. What in the hell? Is it the key to a locker? It must be. Uh, and either the boss wants the sapphire back because the sapphire was in some sort of lockbox, or he just wants the key. How much you think that sapphire's worth? Enough to make us sit and pretty for quite a while. Well, seems like we could finish the job right here and now. But we could learn something.
And it had been days. Or has been days.
I think that might have been just our heads being messed with. All right, well, if we're gonna knock down that wall then, let's get ready. I'll stick the key in my jacket pocket. Kevir, and I will toss you the sapphire. Keep it safe. You got it. I'll snap my fingers and I still have room in the old wrist pocket. All right. Does it look like it'll take a while to sort of work through it? Or could we do it in more than just a minute? I'll answer that when you start. I'm ready when all of you are. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
And my flower. I am going to see if I can just do this in one strike. If I look and get a sense of where the weakest point is, there have been drill holes going into this whole thing.
I do have this amorphous quality where perhaps I could go in through a crack and hold onto something on the inside of the wall or expand and just rip this thing. Instead of slamming on the front of it, I'm going to try to weaken it from within, like breaking its back, its bone.
whatever this ice wall is. How can I endeavor to, can I find a hole like that first and then continue the logic of my idea? Roll an investigation check and you are dreaded. Oh good. That'll mean I'll have negative 30. Yeah. He's gonna go insane. Oh my god. What is it, investigation? Did you break their hearse again?
This is a 13. It's the highest I've rolled all night. Please don't hurt me. You find exactly such a hole. You think that if you were to strike in this spot, hold your fist there and allow yourself to pierce the wall, you would be able to delve beyond it. I'm going to try to reach into the hole and start to pound my way through. I assume that this means that I am touching the
You... The ice. ...start to... you're touching the ice. As your fist lands, nothing happens. As your fist lands a second time, it starts to shatter. It starts to crash. Icicles start to fly off in all directions. You pound. You pound. You pound. And as you... as you get ever closer,
You feel like you no longer have the ability to stop if you wanted to. You are determined to break through this sheet of ice. You start to crash through it. You open up the hole in the wall larger and larger and larger until a crack, instead of running vertically, runs directly horizontal deep into the sheet of ice. It's at this moment you stop striking it.
You put your hand to the wall and you begin to ooze into the opening you've created. You reduce in size by about half until you touch something. Oh, Kvir, he's quid for ya. You're inspired. That's Laboosh. Laboosh, not Kvir. Oh, Laboosh. It's just a clown madness. I love squid. Oh.
My best impression of him when I'm not doing the whoop whoop sounds like Dracula. You watch Labouche do this as he blasts through the wall, punching and punching and punching. The ice splits. It separates. He digs deeper and deeper and deeper. He says nothing while he goes. It's at a certain point that he opens enough space that he understands that he can get through it.
He puts his hand to the wall. He starts to shrink. You can see a portion of his form entering the ice sheet as it moves towards whatever is within. There is a moment for about three seconds where he stops shrinking entirely. He pauses, says nothing, and turns jet black. "LaBouche, are you okay?" The second you say that, he explodes into black seawater.
that fills the room. The five of you are in the depths of the ocean. You cannot breathe, you cannot see, you cannot feel, you cannot hear, you cannot sense. However, this time you see each other. Swirling around you, you feel the presence of something. It's impossible to call it a creature. It would be a mockery to do so.
Dandy, you see yourself atop the pyramid. You see yourself clad in a crown. A black cloak flows from behind you. Your hands atop pillars that pulse a ruby light into the depths of a planet. Your energy reaches its core, erupting out from every space. Nature retakes the world. All inhabitants are killed. Rhett, you find yourself
in the middle of a battlefield. The ether engine warring at your back. Shots go out. Gravity rips people from limb to limb. You see bone, you see blood, you see death everywhere you turn. You're drowning in a massacre. Pike, you were on a similar such battlefield. You were fighting a creature you do not recognize, clad entirely in black armor, a silhouette
that seems eerily familiar, but you cannot place it, wielding a large dual glaive. From behind, it slashes you. It cuts you through your core. You fall to the ground. Kvir, you find yourselves thrown from a sand ship. You're on the sands. Creatures start to come at you. Massive, hideous worms. They erupt from the ground,
and like cascading ribbons crash through the sky as their hideous maws come down about you and tear you to shreds. Chuckles. You are in the Honkweave. The air is red, the ground covered in blood. You see in front of you another clown, a female, hair in the shape of a U, coming to points, large pantaloons, skin ghost white.
She has a llama corn on an altar. She looks at you with dreadful glee in her eyes as she cuts it from throat to stem. And its blood drifts into the ground, filling an altar as an explosion of hideous energy erupts into the air. - Are we dead? - Do not pass code, do not collect $200. Do not roll that saving throw, you are dead. - Do not collect 90,000 credits. - Yeah, there you go.
You awaken on the ground of the ice in the room that you were just in. The stalagmites that line the floor have melted away. The ground is covered in spots and a black gooey liquid. The ice wall is gone. Behind it, you see the crater of something that looks like it had crashed through the ceiling, fell to the floor, and indented a hideous scar forever in this temple. It sat waiting.
and it has been released. And that is where we'll end the session. Oh man! Oh shit. Oh god, it was the bleeding star. Oh my god. We made a tactical move here. Oh no! Oh man. Hey, gotta give it up for Mace. Nice job, man. Unbelievable. Wow, what a session.
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