Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 24 | Slippery When Wet
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Hey everybody, welcome to Legends of Avantrith. I'm Chuckle the Clown, and you're listening to Once Upon a Witchlight. Here's what happened last time. Alright, so either they're gone or they're waiting for some kind of ambush. We gotta find that F-Sack. I don't need to eat because I'm literally just a soul trapped inside of this...

body that was given to me by a hag if anyone wants to claim it speak now or forever hold your peace please don't speak torbek doesn't like confrontation help jingle jangle get the key save the dragon favor with the fae kill the hag saves a bill and a pay off the debt torbeck's caught up

You make your way to the very top of the stump. You see tents set up, beddings, target dummies for archery practice and melee combat. Sitting atop a pile of thousands of trinkets, stolen items from all over. Hither, you see a makeshift throne. A throne for the brigand prince of Prismir. The voice from the dream.

He said, we're coming for you. We have to go find the hill. See if we can find Jingle Jingle and give her her truffles back. You are able to strap the contracts to two of Pig Tunia's feet. Okay, Pig Tunia, you know what to do.

Go forth and deliver contracts. Now remember, truffles for the keys. Yes. Keys, you unlock the guy, and the guy guarantees us the audience. You all climb into the skiff. You unhook the rope. Before you, the waterway widens and the current slows, giving the impression that you have entered a lake. Welcome to Downfall, travelers. You should really make your way to see the king. Oh, he would love to see them, wouldn't he?

Thick fog hangs heavy in the air, obscuring the area around you so that the world appears to have shrunk to only 20 feet in all directions. Before you, the waterway widens and the current slows, giving the impression that you've entered a lake. Croaking voices penetrate the fog through which dark shapes appear, resolving into two wooden rowboats. Manning the oars of each rowboat are two bullywugs. Sitting in them are two couples, one in each boat.

Both of them dapperly dressed in a tailcoat. The female Bullywug is wearing a beautiful white lace dress with a parasol over one shoulder that she twirls in her hand as she

The sun just barely peeks through the boughs of the mangrove trees. And one of the male's legs is lazily in the water, just dipping his toes in and enjoying the nice, cool water on his feet. As they laugh and smile, they notice you. And they begin to chatter as one of them yells out, Welcome to Downfall, travelers!

Oh, what a do! One of the females gets incredibly excited and looks to the other. Julia, look! It's New Townfall! Oh, they must go see the king! Oh, you're so right, Nancy! They must go see the king! The 19th, right? Or is it the 17th? No, Julia, he died, remember? Oh, yes, yes, yes, the 19th! Yes, you might! Not a turnover. I'm going to throw my hands up. Oh, we're gonna get back!

She's having to run up behind Gideon. Get us out of here! Get us out! Look out, man! Oh, God! Oh, Gideon! Oh, man! Are you bleeding? Oh, that looks serious. It's broken! This will probably take one full week for a banana to heal! Oh, man! Oh, gosh, my nose will probably sound like I'm congested for this whole adventure! Oh!

Oh, God. I didn't listen to Scooby-Doo's rule number one is to never approach someone on a sailboat. Yeah, not with the oar in on the right. What are you, out of your mind? Oh, I don't know. I would attempt to mend it, but I'd be afraid of breaking it further. Yeah, that's not how that spell works. Okay, let's move on. Frogs.

What a deal, y'all speak common. The commotion and everything that had just happened upon their greeting seems to have spooked them as both boats have quickly sailed off into the swamp. Well, Nancy and the others are gone. I guess we spooked them.

- Well, I'm not surprised. I mean, the brick was bleeding like a fountain over here. They're probably freaked out, man. - Here, take one of these rags. I tear off a piece of cloth. - Oh, oh wow, that's very fitting, Bill. - At least it'll stop her the bleeding. - You do find yourself in a circular area. There are channels that are coming in from all sides,

And there are small outcroppings of land almost in a circle around what appears to be in the very center of this area, shrouded in fog, stilts that rise up into the fog top.

There are clothing lines that string down from some center point in the very middle up above the frog top that you can't quite see from this vantage point. But they seem to string down to different points all around the land masses that are here. Let me see if I can...

get an image for you. So that is what you're looking at. - Oh, they're like connected with the-- - This is the area where there are stilts that go up and there's some kind of structure up in the fog.

- Fog, could be. And then you see that there are strings, clotheslines it looks like, and there are clothes attached to them that are coming down out of the fog top and attaching to different buildings and structures all around this area. You have made your way in along this.

pathway. And you do notice that immediately to your side, there appears to be an area where you could dock your boats and make land. Are the rope bridges attached to the to the main centerpiece or do they just attach around in a ring? They go from buildings straight up to that main centerpiece. You can't see what that is because it is shrouded in fog, but you can see that there appears to be wooden steps

that are haphazardly winding down around it and it is held aloft out of the swamp on stilts. - Would we be able to deduce from what we saw atop the stump that that's Bluvorna's, or not the Bluvorna's hut, but the hut? - From being on top of the stump, you were, I would say yes. You would be able to deduce that that was. And I guess since you have seen that. - Well, we were told that it was in the middle of the city too, right? - Yeah. - This is what you remember seeing from the top of the stump.

and that is the way that the the hut rises up out of the fog and kind of perches above the top so are all the other structures also like risen off the ground varying levels okay so the way that the oh it's like a stilt city almost well i was picturing kind of like jets like city you know an avatar oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's more like a swamp city so you notice that most of the structures are built on stilts

Some of them seem to be twisted and tilty due to the natural warping of the water on wood. They are covered in moss and algae. The sound of animal life is present here. There is specifically a cicada.

that is sitting on a lily pad off to the side. He's not your typical cicada. He's a cicada with a fiddle.

Is that a swamp cicada? Is he a fiddle? I haven't seen one of those since Agwe. Y'all just move along, all right? I don't want anybody to interrupt my plan. At night when the lake is a mirror, and the moon gets away from the shore. Well, it's not very accommodating. He's kind of a jerk. He lays back with one leg thrown over the other as he tunes his fiddle and enjoys the nice swamp air. He's, um... Oh!

Hey, hey, hey fella, what do you want? Do you give lessons? I'm a fucking cicada. I mean, I see that, but you're playing an awfully pretty tune there. And I got this here fiddle and I don't really know how to play it. I just found it.

No, fuck off. Whoa. Yeah, jeez, man. He probably knows Tom. Oh. Yes. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the subterranean chamber after a 17-year slumber. Oh, great. Comedy. That's what I want.

and I didn't want to sit here and play my fiddle by myself. I wanted comedy in my fucking cicada ear holes. You're acting like you're going to die in a week and we're wasting your precious time.

What the fuck? Yeah, it's too real, man! That's probably exactly what's happening! No, I'm definitely not teaching any of you the fiddle! Aw, man! Is it bad that I'm imagining all of us in the adventurous animated style, and I'm imagining the cicada as a hyper-realistic photo? Like, clip art cicada? Maybe I can do it?

Oh, man. As the wind picks up, it catches the lily pad and you watch as this cicada slowly drifts off into the fog. And you won't have to roll a perception check to notice this, but the name Jeremy was carved on the fiddle as he slowly fades into the distance. So long, asshole! Take my new stick!

I could have helped solve this whole adventure for you. That Jeremy, I really thought he could have given us a lot of information about this next encounter, but he didn't seem forthcoming at all. You didn't ask him a single damn question, man. Where were you? You clammed up the whole time. Do you have a phobia?

I was trying to read his mind, but his mind was like a steel trap. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was insects. Well, uh... Was that a cicada? A cicada. I believe that's how it's pronounced. I mean, he said it to us.

He did? Yeah, he said, I'm a fucking cicada. I thought that was a different word. I'm like, oh, that's a cacada. Oh, is it one of those words like you've only ever seen written? Yeah. No. Yeah. Oh, like, hurt me one. You know what I mean? I've been saying it wrong the whole time. Wait, is that how you say it? Oh, I was in a guest lecture at Goblin College on bug sirements.

Oh, you've given lessons on science and you pronounce it Simon. Oh. It was someone told me, my buddy told me he had a great gig for me. I didn't know it was an attempt at the Goblin College trying to make everything up. I looked at the book and it said Kakada. Oh.

I thought it was just a music gig. Anyway. It's going to be all right, Greco. As far as options, I propose that we stay close to the land and go around the perimeter of whatever this central structure is. No, Torbeck, I think going to the house over here and not the central structure makes more sense. Thank you for your input. LAUGHTER

Now, again, if you look over there, why don't you roll that way? You see what I'm saying? Yeah, well, I just-- There's a little spot we can dodge. Okay, yeah, we'll pull up right there. Oh, come on, man! Get the fuck out of the way! Broke it like hell. This can't be the second time we're gonna have to cauterize you! Unbelievable! It is at this time that you do, you are paying attention to Torbek, and you see that he hasn't said much.

And as your attention is drawn to him, you see that he is slumped towards the back of the boat. His breathing is shallow. His eyes are a strange silvery color. The same silvery color of the Fomorian spit that he drank just a mere hour or so ago.

I immediately also check his back cans. His back cans seem to be properly full. They don't seem like they are emptying into his body. That's good. Full back can, very important. You think he's OD'ing on that witch line?

He seems to be under some sort of perhaps a trance or vision or under the influence of that jar of spit he for some reason drank. Yeah, he drank a lot of giant spit, you know. Torbic.

Torbek, I try to get his attention, sort of gently tap his face with my hand. You do that, and his face moves with you. He looks like he can see you, and it's almost as if he wants to say something to you, but he can't seem to form the words. He attempts to speak, but his lips seem to feel heavy to him, and he stops. He looks uncertain.

And he starts to sink further back into the boat. He looks tired. Well, I guess this is a good reminder for none of us to drink from orient spit. I'll certainly think twice before I make the attempt. Um...

So he doesn't look like he can move on his own by the way, I'm twig. I'm here, too Oh, oh and who see you're here too perhaps who see for this adventure Why don't you stay with Uncle Torbeck and keep him nice and warm? Well, that's a great idea twig Do we think we can maybe somehow sneak them into the little inn that's miniaturized? Well, I have to make the inn not miniaturized

And I don't see any places here I could do that. Oh.

We might be able to find one if we moor the boat and we get out onto land. Because I could just put him inside for a little bit and then make him into a purse. Oh, that sounds really bad. No, you would make Cremmy into... I'm sorry, Cremmy. Yeah, you would make Cremmy into a purse. Look, I'm not going to take offense to that, but just be careful. Just try to think about the words you're saying. I don't have to fucking deal with him. What is that supposed to mean? It's living right on me. I'll tell you. Ha ha ha!

Well, I figure you'd make a very handsome post, Grammy! That's a compliment! So, I mean, if we can just... I mean, and here's the thing, whether it was the spit or not, he went through two awfully big doses of that stuff in, what, the span of two days? Not even. Oh, yeah. It's been pumping through his body. Yeah, so he's probably coming down. Let me just make, uh, just a quick check to make sure he's not dying from, uh, delirium and withdrawal. So, I'll just do a quick check.

of my Primal Healer ability. A medicine check for me, please. I'll also be looking around to see if I can find a flat clearing where we might be able to produce the hut. Okay. I will say roll an investigation check. You're looking. Twelve. You feel this pulse, and it seems to have slowed a little, but it's not...

It's not perilously slow. He definitely seems like he's overcome with exhaustion and there's some lingering effect of the Fomorian spit that he consumed. It's almost as if, like a poison, his body is trying to filter it out. So he is essentially shutting down to be able to process whatever is contained in Fomorian spit. It seems like...

With some time, Torbeck is probably going to fall unconscious conveniently for the sake of the story. I'll have my, I'll say, follow the birdie, follow the birdie. And I'll actually have the turn of my rook, the two-headed vulture, like giant vulture out. Well, okay, okay, you're fine. You're just a little out of it. Okay, he's going to be fine. Oh, he's not dehydrated. Okay. Hoochie, you just got to stay with him and make sure he's drinking from that water next to him. Oh, no, that's his gin. Give me that. Give me that. Give me that.

Well, I want everyone to think of this whenever you, if you ever have the opportunity to make out with a Fomorian. Think twice. I got a 19. Perfect. How big are Fomorians? Would I know how big Fomorians are? No. I have no idea. Oh, mystery. Yeah, I mean, what even is it? What sort of fucking Fomorian? Also a mystery to me. I just know the name because of...

You've heard it a couple of times. They were mentioned by Sir Talivar when he was talking to you. And then it was also written on the vial that it was Fomorians. Really, the only question is if there's another similar race called a Thalesian. You look around and you see that next to the dock that is conveniently to your right is

you see that there is quite a bit of swamp land around it. There's also, as you get closer and the fog starts to dissipate a little bit around you, you see that there is a wooden platform that rises up off of the patch of swamp grass that's there and attached to it. Floating in the air haphazardly is something that you have seen before. A sister to

a damaged balloon that you had seen near Talavar. It seems to be another one of these swamp balloons that is tied here to this almost like a docking platform for balloons, but it is clearly...

is clearly being attached to something that is pumping it full of some sort of gas and you can see where there are tears in the balloon portion of it as the gas leaks out in puffs out into the air and the balloon rocks this way and that and slowly falls back down and tries to rise

rocks and then falls back down. Like a wacky... A wacky, frail, hard-failing swamp gas balloon. Yeah. Wow. Well, I seem to have found a place where we can put the house, but look at the balloon.

This, uh, balloon, swamp gas? If we don't run into aliens soon, I'm gonna be very surprised. X-Files style. Frosch, what the fuck are you talking about? Sorry, sorry, uh, nothing, nothing. X is a number! Let's, let's, uh, let's, uh, row on our, to that direction. Alright, Gricko, mind yourself, man, alright? Stay back there. Okay. Alright, um...

Stay in the foot. Yeah, I'm going a real even cadence couldn't possibly be yourself here Thinking about it. Oh, no, man Oh He has to learn what stop I'm gonna like hold my cane out just like that as a total barrier across the room or the skiff. Oh

It takes a bit of time, but you are able to navigate through the swamp water and through the fog to get the boat sidled up right next to the dock. And you're able to clamber out onto the rickety wooden dock. It's wood warped and slick with the...

the wetness of the swamp around you. But you find your footing and you're able to make your way onto the patch of land. And as you get closer towards the structure, Twig does take some time to move off towards the edge to this nice open clearing. Lightning bugs swirl around her as she utilizes her acorn bag and turns it into the inn at the end of the road.

She's able to get the door open and she makes her way inside and comes out shortly after. Behind her, floating, is a wooden stretcher.

that seems to be magically propelled through the air. And as she talks to it and chants to it, it follows along behind her. And with your help, you're able to get Torbeck, now completely unconscious, up onto the stretcher, and she's able to get him inside of the inn. While she is getting him settled, you have some time to talk amongst yourselves and...

Get prepared for what you're going to do next. What an extremely useful stretcher that is. Twigs Levitating Stretcher has a nice ring to it. Don't you agree? Yeah, you're pretty good with names, man. That's a good one. That's really clever. Thank you. It's a completely original name. I can rely on any other information to come up with that.

Well, I mean, he just described what it was. Yeah, well, man, he does what it says on the tin, you know what I mean? That describes it in the thing itself. Yeah, well, what better name than when you read it, you know exactly what it fucking does. Just don't give him too much credit. It'll

I love self-evidence. I just feel bad. I didn't know she was doing that, so I dragged him all the way out of the boat and halfway up to the thing before she got the stretcher. I think he hit his head on like 15 rocks. I had to pull all those leeches off of his legs, kiddie. Do you know, I mean, it was quite serendipitous because now we have snacks for later. What did you do with them? Where are they? Oh, they're in my leech bag.

Do you know how long I've been waiting to use this? Anyway, Hootsie, you stay with Uncle Tallback. Make sure he's nice and hydrated and comfy. You can snuggle with him. And if he reaches for any kind of gin or bourbon or rum or any spirits, just...

Do what you have to do to stop him. I'll give you full permission. Carte Blanche, as they say. I don't think they do say that. Have you ever only read Carte Blanche before? Of course. Yes. Hey, and Twig, while you're in there, do you mind bringing out four bean juices? Yes.

Well, the cat piss whatever the fuck it was. You call out and the door to the inn is open. You're unsure of whether Twig has heard you or not. Time will tell whether she brings you anything to drink. I'll gesture to the balloon. So, I mean, if they got one of these here, and it looks like the same mate, like the exact same. So maybe that's where Talivar came from, was here, and this is just how they get around. I mean...

What do you think, Gia? You think you can patch it up? Ha ha.

I mean, I could give it a shot, but I'm not a fucking seamstress, you know? Well, no, but I figure, you know, this is some sort of contraption, and your whole thing is like figuring out how to drive contraptions. Oh, yeah, I thought it was just a balloon, so, I mean, if it's more than that, I can definitely take a swing at it. And I could absolutely sew that up. I mean, I learned, I became pretty good at needlework when I started stitching Hootie some very cute-looking Halloween, I mean, spirit Halloween costumes. Ha ha ha!

My favorite holiday. Yeah. Those always did turn out really cute. Yeah, weren't they really cute? Yeah. I like the one that you did where it was kind of just like her, but it was a little more cartoony. So it's like she was wearing a bear costume. Yeah, yeah. Wasn't that cute? Oh.

Oh, God. That was a good spirit Halloween. And then those three years in a row when she just wanted to be a princess. And I tried to convince her, but she's like, I can't say no to those eyes, you know? Oh, also, Hootie, you need to stay here because if you escape from this place, they might know who you are. So you need to stay hidden so you don't get kidnapped again. I forgot about that.

- Isn't something like blowing swamp gas into the balloon? - It's hard to tell what's happening up there. It is a raised platform up off of the, there are once again stilts and wooden steps that lead up to it, but it is on this platform. It does seem to be hooked up to something. You imagine that with closer inspection, you might have a better idea of what needs to be done to fix it.

All right. Well, let me climb on up there and take a look at it, see if I can't fix it or whatever, get any kind of clue about what flew in. I mean, the last one had Talivar and Hootsie. Who knows what the hell was flying around in this one? Hopefully, that's not a bunch of horribly poisonous swamp gas. But...

But I think we should check to make sure if someone owns it and is trying to fix it, we offer our services. I know that we've been kind of erring on the side of stealing and killing lately. And I mean, it's been a bit of fun. I won't lie. But let's try to perhaps parlay and trade.

Well, look, all I'm saying is, I'm not saying we need to take it, but it's a good plan B if we need to get a way out of here. And I think, you know, while Twig's putting Tobeck to bed, why don't you fix the balloon, if you can, and why don't you get a sense if you can drive the thing, or fly the thing, whatever it is. Oh.

When you do, make sure that whatever mechanism there is for steering doesn't put us in complete mercy of the wind. I imagine there might be some sort of magical device. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an escape at all. We would just float upwards and then float back down because there's no wind here right now. Oh, I can control the wind.

Oh. Well, not me. It's my, the great spirit of the rook, of course. But, you know, I can say, hey, we're pretty, you know. Well, if you can match it up. I can set the fire, man. We can get that thing pumping in no time flat. And I got, in fey engineering for dummies, I just got to the dragon flat portion. That's kind of like, you know,

I mean, dragonfly. That's kind of like flying, so maybe there's some kind of shared mechanism. Dragons fly, balloons fly. It's all got wings, you know. See for Catwoman.

That's a great film. Well, that's a deep cut. That was a good one. First, I agree. Let's see if there's an owner and let's learn as much as we can about this place and who inhabits it and whether or not they might be ally or foe or what they might know about everything that's going on here in Prismir.

And I'll keep an eye out for any more buddy wugs, anyone else that might be watching us. I feel bad for scaring Jessica, Julia. Nancy. Fuck. It's okay, I'm no better. It's not even close. I thought it was Stephanie. Well, there was a Julia. Oh! Second try, Julia. There was a Julia and Nancy. Nancy called out to Julia, correct? Right.

- Yes, she called, Nancy called out to Julia and then Julia responded to Nancy. - We didn't get any of the gentlemen names. - You did not. - Holy job, boo. - No, they seemed like they were very much enjoying a nice pleasant evening out on the water with their best gals in the moment that any kind of ruckus started. - I figure I killed the valve of their romantic evening. - That's unfortunate. I hope one of the gentlemen is named Billy Wig. That would just be very amusing to me.

Why? It's probably not. Because it's Billy Wig the Bully Wug. It's hard to say. That's very funny. Well, I mean, on the one hand, I'm kind of, I'm a little, I'm sorry that I've ruined their vibe, but maybe if we got, like, talking, one of the guys would show up and his name wouldn't be Billy Wig and he'd say, hey, we noticed you from across the bar and we really like your bar.

You can dry that first. I'm sure we'll run into them again. Okay, I'm sure. I just want to say sorry for being just a little skittish. Well, they're probably worried about it. It seems like it's pretty easy to end up in a guillotine. That's what I'm worried about. Did you see? Wait, which one of us...

I don't know who had the visions of all of the Bully Robins. Oh, me and you? Yeah. These look just like those guys. If you guys ain't scared, then none of you would have the same visions that we did. No, I'm nervous. But that's why I want to, you know, just in case we need this thing to get the fuck out of here, then it's ready to go. They were on stakes. They were on stakes.

And did you hear that the king is like the 20th? So they either really just like that name or, you know, they've had kind of a lot of turnover. Like you were saying. Yeah, it was a lot of turnover. There was a lot of thumbprints on that copy of Bully Jugs. And they were all different sizes. I forgot about that. You could only see one page left because the rest were all stuck together. Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm not sure what you mean, Gideon. Oh, you'll find out on the show. Because we're in a swamp and everything's a little tacky. I think what he means there would look like one magazine encased in a block of amber, you know? But it's not quite the amber color. So how did it work?

Roll a perception check.

-Gricko and I are climbing up to where the balloon is. -Clammering? -Clammering was a good SAT word that Nikki used. -Oh! We're clammering up the gangway to where the balloon is. -Eleven. -You make your way to the base of this structure.

And the wood is rickety and swollen with liquid. But it seems to be safe, at least for the time being. And Gideon, you begin to scale this structure, taking the steps two, sometimes three at a time. These were clearly made for bully wugs, and your stride is much larger. You're able to sail up.

towards the top. Kremi, you are scouting around the bottom listening for the sounds of bullywugs and you do hear some singing but it is off further out into the murky lake. Actually towards the direction that the two boats veered off into after they left from speaking with you. And it's the sounds of a love song being sung

off in the distance. But outside of that, it is the sounds of croaking and the buzzing of insects, other animals that are skidding about the swamp itself. But you don't hear the sounds of any bully wugs. You do, however, hear the sounds of clanking and clamoring from up above on this structure. There is clearly some kind of mechanical element to this. Gideon, as you crest...

up over the steps, you get a full view of the structure. Looming above a ramshackle wooden pier is a balloon anchored by four thick ropes tied around wooden posts driven deep into the mire. The balloon's bladder expands and sags at irregular intervals as swamp gas fills it briefly before leaking out through various tears in its patchwork fabric.

A bullywug stands near the top of the ladder and is using a long silver needle and a spool of catgut to sew up one of the openings. Huddled nearby are three giant frogs whose long tongues snap up passing insects.

The bullywug doesn't seem to notice you as he continues to sew up tears in this balloon. The three frogs do seem to notice you, but two of them seem to be anchored on either side of the ladder, holding it in place.

so that the bullywug that's perched atop it repairing the balloon doesn't lose his balance. The third is very clearly distracted by a large mosquito that is just flying, zooming around him as his eyes go this way and that before he snaps it out of the air. He's very hungry. Thank you. Can you do the dying sound when he snaps it up? A what sound? The dying sound.

You seem to be undetected as you make it up onto this platform. Frost, you're following shortly behind? Yes. I'm not that short, but yeah. Great. Where are you, Gricko? I was behind Gideon. Okay. So the three of you have made it up towards the top, and that is what you see.

- Hey, Bullywug, is this your balloon? - You say this out loud, your voice echoes throughout the swamp. The Bullywug jerks back, not expecting to hear a voice. He accidentally stabs himself in the finger with the needle. He starts to,

Fuck! Let go! And he starts to reel backwards as the ladder pulls away from the balloon. The two frogs on the side are hopping around it, not sure how to keep it safe. They're not really, they're frogs. They're not designed to keep this safe. As he starts to catch his balance on the ladder, almost walking on it like stilts, as he's turning this way. Who's there? Who's there? I hear you. I hear you. I've got a needle. Oh, well, hey, I mean, it's us. Who's us?

- It's us. - He slowly starts to rock back and forth, but he seems to have caught his balance as he slowly leans forward and the ladder stays itself against the balloon again. He's looking around, but he can't seem to see you as he stills. She send you?

No, man. Listen, we just, well, who's she? Actually, maybe. You know Twig? Who's Twig? Oh, well, then no. If you don't know Twig, then she, I mean, like, kind of Twig sent us. Is that another name she goes by? Who's she, man?

I have Lorna Blatstra. Oh, no, she didn't send us. We came here to kill her, I think. Oh, never mind. Damn it. Somebody else, for us to get up here, man. I'm moving as quick as I can. What the hell? Why are you so short back there? His entire body stiffens as he hears the words that you're saying. And he doesn't say anything more for the time being. I was mid-casting...

which is me magically turning my tongue into a froggy myth tongue. I'm trying to push it back in so I can talk. I'm like...

I hear the commotion and hear them talking to somebody and I'm like, oh gosh, I should get the fuck up there. I'll jump to the side of Gideon. What is your name? My name is Morning Frost. This is my friend Gideon. We're very new to this part of town. We're not here because of any Mevlornas. You should probably go see the king. Oh. King Philip? Is that the correct name? Is that who's the king right now? No, I'm pretty sure. Is it Philip?

Huh. What? What a new fella. Isn't it Gullop the 19th?

- Yeah, that was, well, yes. You seem to have met my compatriots. What's your name, friend? - He slowly begins to turn around and he is, he looks down at all of you. He's a fairly small bullywug in comparison to the other ones that you've seen. He has, unlike the ones that you saw on the boat, his outfit is not nearly as pristine and well-made. He's wearing, he's wearing,

dark leather pants that seem to have been clearly submerged in water too long at the hem. They are now shrunken and cut off, hanging around his calves. He wears no shoes. He's got a tattered shirt

And a hat that sits atop his head definitely was not made for him, probably a found item. But it keeps the sun off of his face as it sits atop his head, a little too big for his body. But other than that, he is, you can tell, slightly older, probably nearing human 60. Yeah.

some wrinkles have formed around his eyes, but he has a jolly looking face as he eyes, all of you quizzically and a smile forms, uh, on his lips as he begins to slowly descend. Um,

looking out at all of you. Well, aren't you a rag tag bunch? What brings you to Downfall? Well, we are simply members of a carnival. Not what he said. Definitely not here to kill anybody. No. He said with kindness. He sometimes likes to joke or pretend. I guess you could call it role play that we're like a band of assassins. You know, all those edgy types. They like to think about thieves guilds and that they'd be a member of one. I was born tonight, but not this night.

Well, look, I'll live with you. That was pretty cold-blooded. No pun intended! No pun intended! All right. We're looking for something that a friend of ours lost. All right. And we think that one Bavlona Blightstraw may... Keep your voice down. It's going to carry on the wind. We think that maybe Bavlona Blightstraw has it.

It's highly possible she's got a lot of a lot of things. So, uh, if someone were to want to, you know, take a rap, so to speak, you would recommend them to go to the king? I would recommend anyone to go to the king, because that's what I'm supposed to do. You're supposed to make this recommendation? Is it a command, or are you compelled magically? I don't want to get on the bad side of the king. Hmm.

How do we know if we go to the king that he won't say, "We're going to play a festive game of croquet and then I will behead you"? My friend is asking if the king is dangerous. It's hard to understand him because his nose is broken. Oh yeah, I broke Scooby-Doo's first rule. He looks between all of you for a minute and it's very clear that he's thinking to himself how to proceed.

Well, y'all clearly aren't from around here, so you probably don't know much about the soggy court or the politics that go on inside of it. Soggy court? No, only that we can't set it on fire.

Well, it is a bit waterlogged, so flames won't do much. Though, if you are looking for fire, if you head up that path a little way to the old balloon factory, it's where this butte was made. Since that fairy dragon escaped with help from one of our own, that place has been on fire ever since.

I'm sure that Duke Ikran could really use some help up that way if he happened to be in the neighborhood. That's unfortunate. Does that mean that there are no more balloons other than the one you're repairing now? Well, it's not that there aren't any more. It's just that there are no more in production. This one was damaged in their escape. It was the first one they tried to take. Oh. But...

We have it. It's just in disrepair, so I'm fixing it. Damn fine balloon bow, by the way. And then once Duke Ikrind can get the balloon factory under control, we can start producing more balloons. Say that name again? Duke. Oh, Duke... Ikrind. Ikrind. Yeah, he's... Like the rind of ik. Yeah, he's... We're not really gentry, most of us, but...

The names make the king feel more kingly. Common folk. Yeah. All of us are, we're all common born except for Kremi. He has royal, distant royal relatives on his mother's side. What's your mother's name? I might know her. Oh, uh...

Petunia. Ah, don't know her. I can lie, right? Yeah! Okay. Let's make it real. Let's just check it. Hey, can I check out this balloon ship really quick? There's a damn fine, cool thing you got going on here.

Yeah, sure, if you'd like to. I mean, right now it looks like all of the contraptions are working just fine. I'm not an engineer, so I wouldn't know. But it seems to be filling up with swamp gas just fine. It's just the swamp gas is leaking out of the balloon because the balloon's got holes in it. So, I got my cat gut. I've got my silver needle. I just got to sew this baby up and she should be good to sail the skies. Mm-hmm.

Do you mind showing Gid how this thing works? Do you know how to fly this thing? I don't think anyone really knows how to fly it. It's not like you can tell it where to go. It just rides the wind. You gotta be one of those. You know there are some people that are just really in tune with nature. Yeah. I'm not one of them.

But they can feel the way the wind's going to go, and they can make decisions and movements to make the balloon go where it needs to go. If you don't have that ability, then most of the time it's just going to take you to yawn. He knows everything there is to know about hot air. Yeah. Oh, but my mom always said I was full of it, and Uncle Globo always said I was full of it, and Frosty said I was always full of it. And...

This continues. I have a very good friend, like a very friends in high places. Who taught me how to, you know, fiddle with the wind.

And not a fiddle like the Kakada variety. Well, if we manage to get this working and we're allowed to fly it, then perhaps we can call it the Highwind. You'd have to ask Mavlorna if you can fly it. I don't have permission to give you. It's not mine. It's hers. Oh, we'll have to solicit permission right away. Yeah, where she at? And for that, you're probably going to need to see the king. Where is the king? Well...

Those stepping stones over there, you're going to take those to the edge. There's going to be some rocks inside of the water. You're going to take those rocks. Be careful. Merfolk live in the water. You don't want to fall in. They don't eat bully wugs. You're not bully wugs. Merfolk. Which means they're probably really hungry because most of us is bully wugs. Don't.

Don't get in the water. That's all I'm saying. So you're gonna take those rocks, you're gonna jump on over. That's gonna actually lead you to the area where if you wanted to check out the balloon building factory, you could find that right there. Duke Irkgrind's gonna be in there. You just go ahead and pass on past that. You're gonna get to a wooden bridge walkway. Okay.

It's a little bit grotesque. You might not want to look to the north where all of the spiked heads of the former kings of the Soggy Court are now posted. You're going to walk past that and you're going to find yourself in a gazebo, which is where you will find King Gullop XIX. A dread gazebo? Did I say dread? I don't think so. No, I'm pretty sure I just said a gazebo. It's a little tilty.

The tilt? The choo-choo. Yeah, you know, the land here is a little bit waterlogged, and you put a structure as heavy as a gazebo into just waterlogged ground, that was a stupid choice. Then half of it's going to start sinking in, and all of a sudden it's tilty. But you know what? He loves that place, and if he's not there, he's at his palace, but...

Well, how do we get to the palace? You just keep going past that. Past the gazebo? Yeah, you have to go past the gazebo. You eventually get to the point where they, uh, where they keep all the prisoners, the jail cells. Um,

And then you're gonna have to walk through the trial by combat field. Hopefully that's cleared of all the blood. And then once you get past that, you're gonna get to the Waterlogged Palace. The first area is completely waterlogged, but up past that's dry enough. Might find the king there. - Waterlogged Palace, you say? - Yeah. - So if I were to rephrase everything you just said, would it be accurate to say the edge of town, you can't miss it? - Well, you can kinda miss it 'cause the whole place is a circle, so you keep going, you're eventually gonna get back to where you started.

Alright. You might want to be careful though, because if you do head over by the jail cells, there is planned trial by combat at some point today because Morgo, the former Knight of Warts, was one of the people that helped that fairy dragon escape. Well, they caught her.

And so, yeah, Morgo. And so she's trapped up in one of those cells. And they're all a little skittish. Annie, one step out of line and you're going to be locked up too because right now they don't have anyone for her to trial by combat. And if they don't have an opponent, they can't do trial by combat. And then we have to hold like a trial. And we don't know how to do that. I'm sure that's very fair. And on top of that,

Bavlorna's been holed up in her hut all day. She's not responding to anything the king says because this strange balloon showed up, not like one of her balloons, but kind of like one of her sisters. And, you know, you know Bavlorna. She hates her sisters, and she's incredibly suspicious about anything that's going on with them. But this balloon showed up. Instead of being powered by swamp gas with a big old balloon on it, it's got a thundercloud strapped to it, a lightning cloud.

It's just floating along in this lightning cloud. Inside of it are a bunch of Darklings selling a bunch of wares. They have all kinds of magical items and cool stuff we've never seen before. Isn't that suspicious? If we have any ability to take one of these ships, I would propose that we take the one that has a cloud and call that one Highwind.

That's pretty good. I mean, I definitely do that. Yeah, we get that one. A thundercloud? I think if you're going to get a ship from Bavlorna, you probably are more likely to get the one that makes her think it probably belongs to her sister. But even then, you have to get an audience with her, and she's holed up with the Darkling that...

Who seemed to be the head of the three of them. Did you say get an audience with her or get naughty with her? Well, I mean, I guess you could do both, but you want to make sure you do it after she has her bath. Oh, I don't know. 24 little hands sounds like a party. You've got six hands. You've got enough hands. Get it!

Are you okay? Okay, to summarize, there's stepping stones, merfolk in the water, there's a gazebo, King might be there. Otherwise, if we go to the castle, we're gonna go through the trial by combat zone, and that's where Morgo is. She's locked up, and they need to trial by combat and find somebody. What happens if she wins?

Well, she only wins if her opponent is killed. It is a trial by combat to the death. Oh. So either she dies or they die. If she wins, then she is considered innocent regardless of her crimes. And she is free to go. She gets her title back and she gets to live her life however she wants. And she was an ally of the...

dragon that escaped the balloon factory? Well, I'm not quite sure what their relationship is. What I know is that the fairy dragon was locked in a cage by Bavlorna and somehow got into cahoots with two bully wugs of the Soggy Corps. One of them was Morgo. The other one was Wigglewog. Wigglewog was able to escape with the fairy dragon. I know, it's a crazy story, right? Oh, Wigglewog!

Wigglewog was able to escape with the fairy dragon in one of the balloons. They attempted to leave in this balloon first, but it unfortunately crashed. They then took some of the coals from Bavlorna's place, threw it into the balloon factory as a diversion, grabbed a second balloon, and got out of here.

But to do that, it meant that Morgo had to be the one to cause the diversion she couldn't go with them. So she got caught. The coals are still blazing up the place. Classic coals. Bavlorna's really not happy about it, to be quite honest. And so Morgo, the former Knight of Warts, has lost her title, and she's now stuck in a cage.

The second he mentions Willywog or whatever. I take my wig off. Yeah, I take my wig off. I put it on my head and I just sort of shake it. May he rest in peace. Like a single tear. Morgo and Wigglewog, they were tight as can be. Best friends since childhood. Yeah, okay. If someone... That's when they kicked off the edge of the tower. Yeah.

I was stuck on the balloon. That's fucked. So, wait. That's my favorite moment. Was there any mention of a little... Was there any mention of Mulgo helping out a little adorable owlbear? Um...

I have not heard anything about Nalbier. Oh. Didn't we... I thought they picked her up on the way. Oh, did they? You're just whispering to each other. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. I thought we did this to only talk amongst ourselves. Only I can do that. Oh, that's right. That's right. Oh. It is our duty to help. Are you friends with Morgo? I was friends with Morgo. If we could... You know what? Hmm? No. No.

What were you going to say? And also, did I get this Bullywug name? No, you didn't. Yeah, okay. What were you going to say? Nope, can't say it. Can't do it. But you know, I think you'll find others like me and others like Morgo in this place if you look in all the right places. And you ask all the right questions. You look like you could be kin. Friends. You like contraptions? No, I'm picking up what he's... Not at all. Oh, man.

I think you're right. What do you like, friend? What are some things that you like? Don't make him say it. No, just anything that he likes. I think he's, we got a bunch of like, you know, items and stuff. I'm just trying to figure out like, hey, do you play the, you know, do you like playing chess with like bone satyrs? I can only remember two of my...

I mean, I like to read. It's not often I find a book come by one, but I like stories. I like to imagine myself in adventures and things, but I'm getting old, so I can't do as much as I used to be able to do. So it's nice to read books about things I can't do anymore.

Well, I'm sure let us consult our trinkets. I did not write it here, my dear. You asked me another question. I'm conveniently ignoring it. Health chat. All right, Frost, never mind. You keep your secrets. Frost, what are you asking? I asked you...

Wow, you've made my mind blank because I'm looking up my trinkets. My fucking trinkets. You said you were about to bring up... You were about to bring something up and then you held back. What was it you were going to say? I've said all I could say. I think Crammy and I see eye to eye on this. That's right. Kindred spirits, I believe. I'm going to make him say one more thing. I think we understand each other. But I think you'll find more like us.

All right, well, what is this, some kind of like rising up against Babylonians, some kind of like freedom fighter? I don't know what you're talking about.

friend, but I would be wary about saying those kinds of things. So willy-nilly out in the swamp. Oh, don't say that he's like a revolutionary. Oh, please. Is willy-nilly the name of one of the Bullywoods? Oh, you know willy-nilly? No, I'm asking. I've had two near-misses today and I'm... What's your name? My name is Uff Gunk Earl of Stinkwater. Oh.

That's a great name. Thank you. Mr. Stinkwater. You can just call me Ufgunk. Ufgunk. It's very handsome. Ufstunk. It's Ufgunk. Ufgunk. All right. The Earl of Stinkwater is just a fake title. Do you have any goblin relatives? I actually knew an Ufgunk. No. Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah. That family definitely had some Bullywug in them. Never mind.

I knew a Guts Gunk. He was a best-known fella. Look, we don't have to say any more about it, but let's just say I speak Bollywood.

I actually do understand Bullywug weirdly enough. I've never met one that speaks Common, so this is kind of pleasant. But if you know Bullywug, you could speak Bullywug. I'm not speaking Common, I'm speaking Sylvan. Oh. And you, however, you can understand every word that he says. Wait, you're speaking Common right now. No, I'm speaking Sylvan. I mean, Sylvan, Sylvan. Yeah. Try speaking Bullywug.

What did he say? I'm speaking Bullywug. No, so... I didn't understand the Bullywug. I didn't understand the Bullywug either. In Bullywug, he was saying, I'm speaking Bullywug. Oh, well, that makes sense. Now speak Sylvan. Now I'm speaking Sylvan. Now speak Common. Do you know Common? I don't know Common. Oh. Oh. And we all understand his Sylvan? Mm-hmm.

Some sort of an aura magically allows us to understand Sylvan. No, I don't speak a lick of it, or understand a lick of it. Honestly don't know, couldn't say. Let me see your engineering book. Well, I was just going to say, I've been reading a lot, so maybe I just picked it up from there. I'm going to endeavor to read the Sylvan of the engineering book. Does it appear to be in common to me? You open it, and at first it looks like

Just a bunch of random markings that you don't understand and as you go to close it you see as they rearrange and begin to form words that you do understand. Wow, this is very complex. It confused me too, man. You gotta get past that acorn part and then once you do it kind of starts to make a little bit more sense. This is like radio instructions. You should look. Look again. I'll take a look here. What do we got? Yep.

All masked heroin. Yep, yep. You open it up to a page that shows a, um... That shows what looks like a quilted top. Like something that could maybe be used for a balloon, or to put on top of a bed, but it's some kind of quilted fabric, and it says, um...

Young fey engineers will always find that sewing can be useful. Ask your parents how to obtain a sharp needle, but one that's not too sharp that it may pierce the skin of young engineers. Well damn! I couldn't even read half of this before and now it's just all coming together.

Hey, I'd say can I borrow that needle, but I think it's too sharp for me. This says specifically I need a dull needle, so. Wait, let me see that. Well, here, man. Check it out. Oh,

Oh, it says to even use this book you have to have your parents fill out a form, photocopy their ID, and email it to them. Oh, shit! You think they can send me to prison for using this book without my parental signature? Is there any chance you can pull that off? No. Well, I guess maybe that's a sensitive subject. Yeah, thanks a lot. I'm sorry. Let me see. I'm going to skip to the end. If we send some deviled eggs, maybe Paul will respond. This is all very simple stuff. I'm just going to skip to the end and see if I can understand things, sort of doing it in reverse.

The original machine had a base plate of prefabulated amulite surrounded by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that two spurving bearings were in direct line with the pantometric fan. The latter consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzol veins so fitted to the fastened lunar vein shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. No, I'm not going to be there. Nope, nope. It's going to get a little...

They say how they compensate it for the heat structure. When you look back at it, you do see what he was reading, and there's a note to the side. If you need an ambulatory gear shaft, please ask your parents to procure one for you.

Alright. Damn it, I can't do fey engineering, man. It's gonna get very complex very quickly. Parental permission. Tell me, friend, what else can you tell us about this extremely rude cicada who seems to be...

seems to play, to be playing the, Yeah, Jeremy. Yes, yes, Jeremy. It said that on the side. That's his name. It's not short for Jeremiah. I don't know if it was the name he was born with, but it's the name everybody calls him because it's on the side of the fiddle. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I saw that. I'm surprised that he didn't mention it when he called us assholes and told us to fuck off. Is that his normal modus? It's the last thing he said, man. He said, oh, by the way, I'm

My name's Jeremy, fuck you. That sounds more like Jeremy. If you get him a drink, he's actually a nice guy. Okay. Oh, we're good at that. Is he the one we can hear singing right now? No. No, I think that's Edward.

He's got a very lovely voice. He does, yeah. He's always one step ahead of you. He's been trying to court Julia after Nancy broke his heart. It's a little twisted love triangle there. Oh. And then poor Hubert. Oh, Hubert. He's just rich.

Oh, you know, you can't. I'm pretty sure Nancy's just using Hubert to make him jealous. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we'd rather take the bloody trial by combat than get mixed up in that. I have some ideas about the trial by combat. We can discuss on the way. I feel like we have a moral duty to help Bulgo.

I agree. Well, how are we gonna help Morrigal, man? We can't kill her. That's not helping her. I don't think. We can allow her to win. By killing you? I have an idea. By making it appear that I've been killed. That's not a bad idea. I have a devilish idea. We could actually die and by the rules she will get her title back.

I'm sorry, did you just say you want to actually die so a stranger can get the title of Knight of Warts? Well, he's done for less. And I'll reach into my bag and I'll open it and it'll be this glowing magenta as I have the leeches that were on Torbjorn. This doesn't have to be canon. If one of us hypes ourselves up on enough witch light, maybe we'll die and get reincarnated again.

He looks over and he sees the glowing pink, the magenta light. You should put that away. I would not be so quick to show people you got witch light on you.

See? Which light's worth killing for? Especially around these parts. You guys gotta think about this kind of stuff. This guy's got a head on his shoulders. I've been part of the Soggy Court for a long time, and the fact that I still have my head on my shoulders is a testament to my ability to survive. Y'all have any kind of, like, weekly meetup? You know, like...

night time get together you know like a like a like a like a boggle club or something I mean they probably meet up at the bridge we're much more we're much more into bunco oh bunco oh bunco boys roll until you just get a result and we just roll until we get a result oh yeah my mom loves bunco she has like a weekly nod of it with her friends and just cause of statistics it'll just eventually happen and it's just pure chance yep

They call us the Bunkawugs. Oh, that sounds very fun. And that's where you discuss Bunko. He nods. You may find other people who are also into Bunko. They may be able to give you... Stop it, Rich. No, it's all right. They may be able to give you more information that I can't. All right. Because like I said...

I'm getting old with my head on my shoulders for a reason. And if we wanted to procure an invite to one of these Bunko nights, how would we go about doing that? You want to play Bunko? Shut up. One second. I don't know Bunko so much. I really don't like Red One. We've got so much to do here and you want to go play Bunko? I don't like Red One. Can I just make a friend, all right? Bunko.

I think that you will naturally attract to you those with similar inclinations. All right, Bunko fans. They'll know you when they see you. And tell them that you've made a friend of the Earl of Stinkwater. Earl of Stinkwater. All right, fellow, you got it.

Pleasure to meet you. He reaches out his hand and he shakes it. Well, to keep my head on my shoulders, I gotta repair this balloon before Bavlorna has a fit. So, I'm gonna get back to work. It was great meeting you, fellas. It was nice meeting you. And stay out of the water, alright? That's the plan. Okay. And remember... We can probably whip this together in like, I don't know, real quick. That's alright. I like having a task on my hands.

I'll have it done by the end of the night. That's why I whittle. Oh, speaking of mermaids, look at this thing I whittle. Damn. That looks like a heavy statue. Oh, I'm a tasteful boy. You know what I mean? Would you like this?

I mean. Would you like it? Yeah, kind of. Since your vision's not, you'll be able to continue to enjoy the Bullywug features well under your blindness. All of your Bunkerwug friends will be delighted because how could such a terrible frog-eating monster be so attractive in the form of a whittled wood? Mm-hmm.

I thought they didn't eat Bullywugs. Yeah, no, they don't eat Bullywugs, man. They eat us. Yeah, that was the point. Are you talking about the marrow in the water? Yeah. Yeah, no, they don't eat Bullywugs. They don't like the taste. That's why you should not get in the water because they're probably pretty hungry. Well, all the way, they

There is a lovely trinket for you that I've heard this whole time. Well, thank you, friend. This is very kind of you. It's very nice to make a new friend. I will cherish this to the end of my days. You're just going to have to kind of rest it against the side of your ship, because it's a little top heavy. So if you're trying to get it to stand just right, it'll just fall apart. Yeah, I can never get the bottom smooth enough where it wouldn't just topple over. Yeah. I tried for quite a bit. That's craftsmanship. Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you, friend. It was lovely meeting y'all. Be careful on your ladder. Don't fall. I will do my best. Don't go sneaking up on any more bully bugs like that. Yeah. I'm going to be shouted from way over there. Oh, before we go. And it was really loud. What are the names of all of your friends? Huh? Oh, the giant frogs. The giant frogs. Oh, this one's Croak. Croak. And this one's Luke. Luke.

Yeah. Oh, I've got a snack for you. Oh no, it's wrong bag, wrong bag. This is my other leech bag. And I'm trying to throw a big plump swamp leech that I've been collecting, hopefully, throughout this adventure as a snack for the frogs.

Their tongues shoot out and they happily eat them and go back to... They're quite rotund for frogs and much larger than you would expect. And they sidle back down into a lump and you just see their eyes move, dart this way and that as they're looking for more bugs. Oh, it's so cute. See you, Croak and Luke. All right, well, what to do? You stay safe and...

Hopefully we can help you resolve whatever ails you. I wish you the best of luck, stay safe and keep your heads on your shoulders. All right, cutters, let's go. Sir Croakington, Luke Flyhopper, Earl of Stinkwater. Do you think that-- We are taking our leave.

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Let's make our way back to Twig and see if she's done with however long she's needed to bathe Torbek. I'm sure he's all fluffy and puffy now. And then we can have our conversation about whether we should really be spending our time on Bunko. He looks like a poodle where she's like washed him and then taken little pink bows. Oh, he definitely has a pink bow. He looks like the beast after his bath. That's exactly what I'm picturing. Or the white kitten from the Aristocats. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's clearly not happy about it. But you do make your way back and you glimpse Torbek in his freshly washed state. He's in nice cozy pajamas. He's got bows tied into his fur. His teeth are freshly brushed for the first time in his entire life. Wow, that smells almost entirely gone. She must have washed everything.

- Jesus Christ. - What? Oh yeah, that's what you do when you wash. I don't know why you, of course.

I'm just imagining Twig cleaning Torvac's butthole. Yeah, so am I. So am I. Like, why? Spreading the cheese? It was like a loofah. He didn't have to say it. Because he has sweet loofah. Implied it was already a no. Well, Twig, we got a whole bunch of leads. That's great.

to bed and then I'm gonna close up the place and then we can go on our adventure you'll have a little piss yeah Mike one I thought you had one of the bananas

Super draw a lip, Torebeck. No, no, no, sorry, just out of the corner of my eye, through my fucking mind. Excellent. Well done. And so she quickly, she makes sure that Hootsie is nestled next to Torebeck. There's a fire roaring in the hearth in the room. They've got a full plate of food and drink, and Torebeck is ready for should he wake up. And...

And she makes her way out of the inn and slowly closes it up and it returns to the little acorn satchel that she wears on her person. She looks up towards you with her giant glasses. So, what's the sitch? Well, we learned a lot of extremely valuable information. Though I will say Cremmy wants to focus his time on playing a collectible miniature game called Bunko. I love Bunko!

It's not a collectible miniature game. It's just not the time, Grimey. That's not the game where you buy the little figurines and they have like large heads. No, you're thinking of Playmobil. No, this is a DICE game where you just roll 3D6 and you just wait until you get some result. I don't even fucking know how you play Bunko. Why don't you play it so bad? It was code, fellas. Come on. Code for what? First of all, keep your fucking voices down. Our voices are going to carry on the water, alright? Oh, sure. Second...

He was talking about all these people, they don't like the witch or the hag. Yeah. And then, you know, like we were sort of joking about, you know, they're sort of, maybe not revolutionaries, but they're none too happy about their leadership situation. I did not pick up on that.

And so obviously he's gonna risk his life, but you know, spilling the beans? Hell no. Perhaps this is why they've gone through so many kings. Oh. That's right. Also, I think that the game you're thinking of is Ludicrous Marrow. I swear I'm thinking of Bunko, where they sell the oversized head, little body, uh, they're always like... No, it's Ludicrous Marrow, and you flick them and you try to take out each other's things.

They come in square boxes. It's important to keep them in the box. They're more valuable that way. I really like playing Uno. Oh, that's a good game. Yeah. Anybody can play it. That's the fun part.

Oh, I don't want you talking about that thing that Neil collects. Oh, yeah. I thought it was called Funko. Thank you. No. What is it called? No, that's not called it. What is it called? It's got no name. Yeah, he said it was his retirement fund. Oh, do you mean Funko Pops? Yes, yes, that's what I'm talking about. It's all these fictional...

legends from stories of all sorts of entrance. I tried to repulse off the potential theory brides by bragging about Neil's collection that he called his retirement fund. He withdrew all of his two oh one half J. I had some on

On my mantelpiece once, but they broke, unfortunately, when I accidentally hit a stump and the end fell over. We're going to fix those. Oh. They were my favorite. They were my four favorite drag queens. Oh, what were they? Do you have pictures of them? No, but it was Stiletta, Twinkrebell, Fifi Nix, and Trollina. They made Bunko toys of us? Of who? Bunko.

Of you? I don't know. They were fast. I don't know if they did, but they made them of my four favorite drag queens. Yeah. I mean, anyone that's willing to give them the rights to their RP, they'll fucking accept and produce tours. I mean, I won one off a guy once. I went down to the old bog, and I watched a major image of their performance at a carnival. It was so cool. Yeah, I think I still have it. It's really bizarre, like the most obscure things. Like, I got one that says...

scrim in Ogerton Vassal Gob. What's a scrim? Number 1,342. What the fuck does that mean? I know. Every time I go to the shop and I see them, they're cool. Limited edition collection of the drag queens.

I couldn't believe it. If you just tell me what they look like, I should be able to whittle up something that looks a lot cooler and is more focused on the actual characters instead of pressing the brand itself. Well, I don't know. I kind of liked them because I could say, hey, this is a Bunko Pop, and people would be like, oh, I know Bunko Pops. I have this Bunko Pop, and I'd be like, oh, I don't really care, but cool. And then we would talk about it. Do you think there's a market for forged Bunko Pops?

If I got really good at it. I mean, but that kind of destroys the rarity of them, you know? What if I don't tell anybody? Could you forge this Ogerton Vassal God?

I think I can probably win on that. Yeah, but that one's like a total worthless one. Who even wants a scrim? It even says brutal blade not included. Why would you want one without that? I mean, I did speak to Neil at the wedding and he had sold all of his bunko pops and made quite a killing in the bonds industry, apparently.

Wow, really? Yeah, he's extremely wealthy, from what I understand. I was so distracted by Busky, I didn't even reconnect with Neo. Does Neo have an edition only one made Stradania now with bite? I believe he did, but he sold it. To who? Some rich collector. Who could even know rich? I don't know. Perhaps some sort of demigod or some other otherworldly creature. Wait, Neo's now rich? Yes.

a rich, successful collector, and when we're like, "Neo, you're wasting all your time and money. I'm gonna go be a rock star, and you're gonna have all these worthless things." Now he's super rich? Yes, yes. And I have no gold pieces? That's my understanding. And I'm in horrible debt to a spooky voodoo man! And your nose is broken. Oh! Oh! That sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There's only one way to fix that. Take a nap,

on the right side of the bed. But we can't do that right now. So we should probably go do other things. Yeah, let's continue and go to the stepping stone. Yes, to the stepping stone. But just so you know, if you ever happen to see limited edition for drag queens at the nightlight featuring my four favorite drag queens, Fifi Nix, Twinker Bell,

and, um, um, the other one, then, um, can you please, um, get it for me for my birthday? I mean, uh, it sounds like we're on an additional quest now to find all of the Funko Punks. I don't know how I missed it. Oh my gosh, if you saw our death roll, oh, makes me wish I were an alligator like you, Cremmy. I'm just proposing that Bunko be the triple triad of the Once Upon a Much Life. laughter laughter

It'll be like that Tommy Winterhurst bar. We don't talk about that. They sold one pound Tommy Bar, that's what I'm saying. They're one pound, it's a novelty. Well, to the stepping stones on the next stage of our adventure. Okay, I'll follow along after you. You guys march ahead. To the stepping stones. Do we continue to the stepping stones? You do.

A roll of boulders spaced two feet apart breached the surface of the lake to form a walking path across a 40-foot-wide waterway. So here's the thing. I hate to be an inconvenience, a nuisance, and a pest, but my legs can't walk over those...

Gideon up. How far apart was that? That was just so damn good. I can't believe I just stumbled right into it. Gideon. Yeah, Twigsy. Uppy.

"Uppies!" "Aww, that's very sweet." "Come on, Uppie!" "Aww, remember when Ike was-- when Coochie was small enough and I was strong enough to give her uppies? Oh, I guess that never happened." "No, I don't!" "She was always really big. But oh, I'll think about it. I'll imagine. Anyways." "Alright, well just don't fall in."

Okay. And I'll grab my Froggy Myth totem, and it'll glow. It'll probably be some Evangelion joke, and I'll turn into a spirit Froggy Myth. I'm going to... One moment. I'm going to focus my mind, and I'm going to find the spell list on the...

I'm just gonna be casting resistance on myself to add a d4 to a saving throw, should that occur. Okay. Let's just hope that the occasional winds of the Feywild don't blow through us as they occasionally do, transforming our minds and perceptions. Why would you even say that? I feel like you are literally begging for it. No, no, no, that'd be just... I mean, all we have to do is walk across these very simple stones. You gotta bring it upon us!

Why don't you all roll a d20 for me? Yeah, smell the wet. I'm cracking open the dice vault to get my very expensive-- You guys feel that? Dwarven Forge. The winds. The winds of witch life. That's a 20, folks.

A natural 20? Oh, also a 20! Oh my god. Let's do it. Where were these dice the other night? I got a 13! Your roll's fucking sucking. Yeah. Oh my god. So you both got 20s? I can reroll. Yeah, you were in... I just rerolled in case. That's the bottom of the barrel. It doesn't get worse than that. Well, it was also a pretty high DC. I had no plus to the thing. I mean, you're... So I had to roll, like... The DC was 17. Yeah, but I think plus zero. You had 17. What did you get? 20.

- Oh, half of your body goes numb. - You pick which half. - You pick which half. - That's good, that's good. Smart thinking, Gringo, smart thinking. - I literally turned into Jeremiah J. Frog with just on my head, all I have is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Gringo, good job. Never let anything affect the leg.

That's my fight, my little dancing frog leg. That's the smartest thing you've ever done, Gregor. Always protect the legs. Never forget leg day. That's fucking brilliant.

I thought he was going to do this way. I'm an-- I'm a boss. What did you get? I'm sorry? 13. 13. Okay, you turn into Klutze.

You watch as Frost is standing there, and you see his eyes roll back in his head. But they continue to spin. And they begin to change in colors, red and white, red and white, just like the top of a big top. As all of a sudden, his head spins around, and where his nose should be is now a clown's nose.

And maneuvering in this body, you begin to see the body of someone you've seen before. This is clearly that clown that Gideon, you killed with a meatball as Klutzy stands in front of you now. Oh, no. Oh, God, it's happening again. Hey, everybody, I know you.

- Oh no, but you're in clown hell! - Oh, not anymore! - What have you done with Frosty? - I'm not sure who that is. My name is Clutzy, what's your name? - Wait, you can see him too? - Yeah, he just took Frosty's body! - Oh my god. - It's the fucking clown you killed with the meatball. - And I will say that this is the first time that you've experienced a clown since entering the Feywild.

The Feywild is often talked about as being, having the veil very thin between life and death. And it seems that here, the powers that the clowns had to manifest in Gideon's head are even stronger. Here, they're now even able to take form. Don't do it, that's Froskia. No, no, no, don't do it! No, no, no! No! You just leave me alone, you already killed me once with a meatball. I'm gonna enjoy this new second life that I have and I'll be here forever and

- Never and ever, I'm sure. - It was barely killing you, man. I throw a meatball at you from 500 yards away. You got hit, you had an allergic reaction. No court in anywhere would have even called it manslaughter. - To be fair, it was not a meatball. - You are also, your mouth is numb.

I do interpretive jig to say that it was soy-based replacement sludge. You can still talk, you just have to be numb. What else is impossible? What else is impossible? Soy-based, squambly sludge. That's right, what else?

We got it from that tree gang place. I thought you said it was oysters or something. No, it was oysters like goblin or whatever, you know, which was the impossible, like fish replacement. Oh, it was like oyster replacement. As you're having this conversation, you hear in your ear, this is like totally ridiculous. Like, why is everyone being so stupid? Yeah.

Seriously, why are you flopping around, Gricko? You're wasting time. And who invited this clown? I hate clowns. Oh, you don't hate me. I'm Klutzy. Everyone loves Klutzy. I'll bet I can make you laugh. And you see where there had been Twig is now a tiny little summer aladrin. Oh.

And she sits atop your shoulder. She's still tiny. But she is clearly very frustrated. Oh my God, your muscles are so ripply. Do you have a girlfriend? I mean, I actually have three wives. I mean... You know, in fact, no girlfriend. Are you looking for a mother?

And a husband. But no girlfriend, that position's quite available. We're going to have to talk. Oh, so you'll finally be able to go enjoy the nightclub on the equivalent of Fridays. Your mouth is numb. Equivalent of Fridays. I love the film Goodfellas. What did you get, Crummy? Two.

- Jesus. - Now Clutzy, let me explain. You know, I'm real sorry about what Gid did, but if it makes it any better, it was just a prank, bro. - Oh, it's fine! I'm back and feeling better than ever! - Can you roll again for me? I'm changing too. - Oh, roll? - I have it marked out, yeah. - Would it be possible for Clutzy to hear perhaps a voice in his head? - Yes. - This water looks awfully treacherous.

It would be a shame if someone was so klutzy to fall in and draw the attention of the beef that lurk below. I hear that. Yeah. Klutzy hears that.

Oh, is that you, Juckles? I thought I got rid of you when I was reborn suddenly in this instant. Oh my god, I'm trapped inside of a mind prison inside of a clown. I can't do anything.

I can feel everything that's happening to this clown. What did you get? One. Oh. You are incredibly unlucky. All rolls are at disadvantage, and so are any allies within 20 feet of you for 24 hours. Ah!

Get her into a strike, Ruppey. Get her into a strike. What did you get, Gideon? I rolled a 20 as well, but I can re-roll it. Yeah, I will have you re-roll. I'm not doing the same thing as Mikey. Are you kidding me? Nine. Nine.

Your head is replaced with a donkey's head. You can still speak. - I'm making waffles. - Oh my god, what is happening to your face? - Wow! - What do you mean? What's happening to my face? What are you saying? - Ew.

Ew. Why is it way out here? Wait a second. Am I gray?

No, I think perhaps vengeance has finally fallen upon you, Gideon, for killing me. You look like a real ass. See, I got you guys laughing right away. I'm trying to be like, oh, that's a good one. Now that I'm a medium-sized creature, I'm as tall as a rock. And I fall off into the water. Ah!

Just the slightest of nudges. No, let him go, let him go. I would like you to roll a dexterity saving throw at disadvantage because you're close to Kremi. Dad, that's froze! Because he is falling into the water. You are leaning on him. As he does, you are...

Potentially going to tumble into the water after that. I'm gonna drown inside of this idiot. Kremi, listen. We lost him the second he became a clown. For all the frost we know is dead. No, no, no. There's no saving him, just let him drown. We have to at least, I wanna like step up just to see what's going on and one of my shoes is untied and I'm gonna step on it and I'm gonna, oh fuck! And I'm gonna come down in the water. Perfect, yes you do.

The first one was a natural 24/24. Second roll was a nine. You lean onto Clutzy as he tumbles into the water. You immediately, the top half of your body is numb and you immediately fall forward like half a gem. Clutzy attempts to do that thing where he jokingly pulls himself back, but it doesn't work.

I go straight into the drink. The two of them fall into the water with a loud splash. Cremi, you jerk forward to see what's going on as you slip on the wet rock and the shoelace beneath your foot

as you tumble in with a loud splash. I was literally touching him when that happened, so. It's like when you tilt one of your Super Smash characters at the edge of a ledge. I would like you to roll a dexterity saving throw at disadvantage as well.

- Gideon. - Oh man, oh. - I'm unlucky, I just went in. But I guess you were unlucky too, so I'll take advantage. - I rolled a three and I rolled a two. I was like, "Well, I guess it works." - You were holding on to Kremi. You had your hand on him as this happened. And as Kremi is tumbling and falling in, he reaches out wildly and grabs onto whatever part of your-- - Get out!

find and trying to keep himself from plummeting in. But the weight of this alligator tumbling into the water as well as you standing on these slimy rocks is just too much as he yanks you into the water. No, no,

Please take it! Twig, however, finally decides to use her wings and she flies up in the air and does not succumb to a watery grave. Oh my god. They're so clumsy. So much drama. They are so stupid. They are the drama. And he's not even hot anymore. Oh!

I'm not going in there. I just bought this. I'm not going in there. Do you see this? This is ridiculous. All right, you do it. I've already got three personalities going on. Absolutely ridiculous. This is Gucci. The three of you land into the murky water with a splash. The water feels heavy and thick.

It is filled with soil and algae. It is slimy and you can, you breathe in a small portion of it and it is, the taste of rot and decay fills your mouth as you sputter and spit it out and begin to hold your breath. You realize that

You can barely see anything in front of you as you begin to sink down and down and down. You attempt to climb, but the heaviness of this water makes it almost impossible for you to swim as you plummet to the floor. It's about 20 feet deep.

as your feet sink into the silt at the bottom of this murky lake. You feel... You feel the tendrils of, like, pond weeds and scum as it...

laces around your legs and begins to hold you in place. What are you all doing? As we're going down, I'm desperately clawing on Gideon and dragging him down, hoping that he'll save me. Um...

And then I'll remember that I can hold my breath for 15 minutes, I can swim, and then try to swim, and then realize that, as you described, the water's too heavy, and then I'll really start to panic. So I'm just like... I'm doing clown tricks. I'm kicking my legs, trying to swim, but I'm just like with my front half completely out. I'm like...

Now that I'm totally submerged, I would be reaching out towards Kremi, also still just drowning and not breathing. I can't hold my breath for 15 minutes. So, I'm fucked. You are all, you all sink to the bottom, and even though vision is very limited here, you're close enough that you can see each other, and you eventually begin to see shapes moving around you.

a shadow that passes you in the back. You whip around to the side to look, but there's nothing there. - Please be the mermaid from Hook. - As a shadow, huh? - Please be the mermaid from Hook. Please be the mermaid from Hook. - As a shadow passes you by one more time, and eventually you begin to feel the seaweeds tighten around your bodies.

Not just around your legs, but around your torsos. And eventually, you feel yourself completely restricted. You've been in the water for about two minutes now. How are all of you doing with two minutes in the water?

- I can breathe. - Presumably, Kletzy would be drowning. - Presumably, yes. But there are drowning rules based on your constitution. - I don't know the drowning rules. - Is the number of minutes equal to your con modifier, I believe. - Okay, so zero minutes. - Am I using Frost's con or my Kletzy? - Yeah, no, you're using Frost's con. - Oh. - Okay. - Well, hold on. - Because it's Frost's body.

Two minutes, I've got... the number of my modifier is the number of minutes before I start drowning. Oh, the number of minutes equals one plus your Cobb mod. Minimum 30 seconds. So I'm halfway through my ox. So yeah, if your modifier's two, you can hold for three minutes. You're presumably five or six. Five minutes. And then you're 15 and you're... I'm 15 and you're... I can breathe. You can breathe. For two hours while I have this frog form.

Good choice. My three eyes are looking around and all my tentacles are wailing. I guess I have like, anyway, I got big legs and the tentacles are just like. You're still numb. Yeah. You're like the blow up balloon as the ripples of the water. You feel the silence overwhelm you as it is. You're deep within the lake and there are all the sounds from up above have been drowned out.

All you can hear are the sounds of the bubbles that are rising up out of Frost's body, which is now klutzy, as he is drowning in front of all of you, clearly much more affected by the lack of oxygen than the rest. As you slowly see a long spindly green hand reach up around Frost's throat, webbed fingers with elongated...

and fingernails in a dark murky green as it begins to squeeze, not tight enough to cause damage, but enough to show almost a form of dominance. As you see a face appear around the side, flowing hair of kelp and seaweed interspersed with bits of seashells and plant life

Um, as you see a face that is almost completely flat, um, the eyes are pure black, large, much larger than you would expect. And dangling overhead is a, um, is a, an orb of glowing pearlescent light, uh, very similar to an angler fish.

And as she opens up her mouth to smile, you see razor sharp teeth, hundreds of them, lining both the top and bottom of her mouth. As she leans down and she blows a bit of air, a bubble forms and slowly stretches around your head. And you feel yourself able to breathe for just a second. It's like Sonic the Hedgehog. Come into my water, you're all...

Can I speak? Yeah. Whoa, what is this amazing? I was about to drown. Thank you. Have you come to play? Have I come to play? I make a merfolk imitation of her out of a balloon animal. Come with me. Come away from your friends. They would hold you back.

They're not really my friends. I'm going to come right to them immediately. Yes, come with me. Have you heard any great jokes? I would love to. All right. And she begins to pull you towards her and you watch as she looks towards all of you and she smiles a wicked smile as she begins to, as she wraps her arm around Frost and begins to pull him away. As this happens, Frost, as the bubble around your head is giving you oxygen,

You begin to feel that your sense is clear and you feel yourself slowly taking your body over as you're pushing klutzy out. That whatever it is that causes that fey magic to happen, it is not affecting you as much down here.

Maybe it's the lack of oxygen. It's hard to tell. But as the moments pass, you feel yourself regaining your frostness as you once again become frost. I'm going to die if I don't take control. You are now wrapped tightly in her arms as she's pulling you into the darkness. You all watch as where once had been klutzy is now frost transformed and you all feel yourselves coming back frozen.

Into your own. You, however, did roll a natural one, so it's 24 hours of unluck. Can we react? Yeah, of course. So I see the marrow grabbing the throat of Cluster, still knowing that it's Frost, and I'm going to be pointing my cane at her. And as I see her pulling him away in a nefarious...

and I see Clutzy shifting back into Frost, the kind of crystal skull at the end of my cane will light up, and I'll shoot Eldritch Blast at the marrow. Okay. It will hit Frost instead. LAUGHTER

I'm in the attempt in these moments I'm still Clutzy because Frost is just emerging so Clutzy's turned out. You seem like someone who would enjoy this joke. Tell me if you've heard this one before. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Ow! That's so funny. No, that wasn't the joke at all! Why? Oh no! I think I'm

And how much damage do you do to Frost? Eight damage. We all float down here. No, I don't want to go! Jackal, don't make me! We all float down here.

Oh my god. What was that? You still hear the residual laughing of chuckles in your head reverberating as it slowly drops in pitch and fades into the background. I'm going to have to tell Gideon he was right. Why did you do that, Krip? I suddenly have come back to my senses. You come back to your senses and you are now wrapped

in the arms of this marrow as she's pulling you deep into the water. I need you to make a charisma saving throw at disadvantage. - Oh, that's my favorite. - My attempt will be once I finally see Frosty and not this horrible clown. And as Frosty, I will write myself in frog form and attempt to leap through the water, swim right at her with my mouth open, tongue out to wrap around her and chomp on her.

You come to and you realize what's happening and you...

At first, you're overwhelmed. You jerk yourself to the side, trying to swim back. This is my from behind. I've done that one before. Oh, yeah, they call that the Phantom Strain. LAUGHTER

Sometimes you just wanna surprise yourself. You know what I mean? Sometimes you just need to romance yourself. Sometimes you think it's gonna be okay, and it's not okay. I think that was Herbert's plan when he saw us across the board. Bold.

- A lily pad floats over the scene. What a bunch of fucking idiots. - Yeah, that exactly happens. You twist yourself to the side, trying to reach out towards your friends as you hear her lulling voice in your ears and your eyes catch sight of that pearlescent orb dangling over her head and you whip your head back and you stare into it, nearly hypnotized.

And you feel yourself compelled to do as she says. They're not really your friends. You said so yourself. Come with me.

I will come with you. Though that wasn't exactly me, if you're speaking technically. You can learn all the things you wish to learn deep beneath the sea. Yes, I wish to learn much from you and the deep sea. Ancient knowledges lost to man, only found beneath the waves. That's pretty cool.

Come with me, Frost. Yes. Take my hand. Yes. As a froggy myth leaves out of your time, I need you to roll an attack at disadvantage. Froggy hungry. You know, oh, at disadvantage? I'm going to twist it. We need to start. Your twist will also be at disadvantage.

- I'm just kidding, it's not. - Wait, hold on, hold on. So my highest there was seven plus three, a 10. - No, but it's disadvantage, so it would be your lowest, which is a natural one. - Oh yeah. - It would be your twist, which is a natural one. - I'm going to dread that natural one and you,

You lunge forward towards her, but your bottom part of your body is still numb. And the top part of your body is still numb and you don't fully have control. And as you propel forward, you're kicking your hind legs, but you're still strapped down. And as you break free, you propel forward and you slam into...

Gideon. You slam into Gideon and chomp down on his large form. What?

I've seen Kremi gesturing at Frost the whole time I'd be looking over and while he still looks like Klugsy, I'd just be saying, With your doggy head. Yeah. With your doggy head. Yeah. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your doggy head. With your

Yeah, yeah. And as he starts to form back into Clutch, I'm like, "Oh, okay, okay, okay." And I'll begin to try and take off, and I'm like, "Hey, what's that? "Oh, fuck!" Two points of piercing damage. And you are now grappled as I've got my jaws around you and we're spinning through the water. You spin through the water and you feel yourselves

You're spinning in an opposite direction of where this creature is taking frost, but your body's slam up against something hard. God, this is awful.

- That's what Huber was looking for. - Though it is murky down here, you still can see the shadows of things. And you notice that the stepping stones that lined this walkway over the water are, they float, they don't reach all the way down.

But as you look up, you see that this one does. And it begins to move. Natural 20.

- Oh no. - It forces you to the side, you propel off into the water, slamming into Kremi. As you see this entity, this thing begin to move forward, and then you hear, - Let him go, foul witch. - The light on her head illuminates quickly as you

With a shriek, she lets you go and she whips off into the darkness. No voice, stop. You feel around your waist a hand clutch onto you, a hand of stone. Let go of me. And you are wrenched from the water and placed on one of the floating stepstones. No, wait, she chose me. Of all the seamen, she chose me. You hear your head...

Followed quickly by the three of you, you feel a hand, a large hand around your waist as you're ripped from the water and placed up on individual steps. - Is it while we're tumbling through?

I'll be looking at my cane and regret feeling betrayed that I almost killed Twig and then I almost killed Froth. And I'm going to look up and I see a donkey head of Gideon. In the mouth of Gricko. Like the blades of a plane. And then once again, I'll look at the camera and blink twice.

- And you are lifted out of the water and placed on stones. You see Twig at the very edge. As Twig, staring into the water, "Where'd you go, Rukamey? "I'm so sorry, it wasn't myself. "It must've been my bug, oh, hi!" As all of you land topside. - What happened?

A series of events. I will shift back into Krikko. I'll just shrink and warm. I'll be just cresting off of me. I... I... It was...

the marrow thing that that frog was talking about. - Weren't you told not to get in the water? - Yeah, but I sort of tripped and then I dragged Git in and we all kind of just, it was all an accident. - You hear a rumbling sound and behind you, one of the stones begins to move and it begins to rise. And with time you see that it was merely the head of a Galabdur.

A large stone man, a stone entity. As it rises up out of the muck, it stretches out its arms and its legs. It flexes its neck left and right. And you can hear the crunching of rock as it cracks its neck. And it looks down at you with its stone face. Little mortals.

"Be safer next time." And it reaches out and it slowly pats each one of your head, very gently, but you can feel the weight of the stone as this gigantic entity stares down at you. Well, if I have my hat on, I find my hat, I'll grab it. I'll say, "Thank you kindly for saving our lives there."

Is this sort of your intention, is to be a stepping stone onto the other side of the water? You have woken me from my slumber. I'm sorry, but you did save us. If you hadn't, I would have been... Many, many years of rest. Rest.

It is good to be awake. Oh. Oh, well. Well, you saved the four of our lives, so we definitely owe you one. How can we repay you? A song. Oh, well. It has been many years since I've heard a song. I mean... Sing for me, little mortals.

I'm not much of a singer. I'm pretty tone deaf. Do any of you know any songs? I've got a new... I've got a new lyre. Can you drop me a little beat? I'm not very good at this fiddle. Can you just give me a... Well, Gideon can probably, you know, just like... Don't you have a drum you can give Gideon? Oh, I do have a drum. Here you go. I found it in the jungle. Maybe just like a four over four beat. Yeah, yeah. I don't know anything about music. What is a four over four, mate? Don't get too famous.

What about just like... Why you clapping long? You had him hand me instead of drum, man. Now I want to play it. I know a little bit about music theory. I can't sing, but strong and then weak. So bump, bump, like that. I can also do cats and boots if that would help. I love cats and boots.

I remember when rock was young. Me and Craig

♪ We've been having so much fun ♪ ♪ Jumping, diving, and just skimming with stones ♪ ♪ It's a big old man road ♪ ♪ Trying to end our own ♪

Hey!

That was good. I would like you to roll a performance check straight because it would be an advantage, but it's canceled by Crummy's disadvantage. So it would be a performance check straight. Oh, I still have that. 24 hours. You're not allowed to help with anything anymore. Oh, it's just around him if he's near you.

Yeah, 20 feet. I should have backed up. Man, I would have sounded a lot better if Gideon didn't break my nose for this adventure. Sorry, I'm out of my top four. That's maintaining game state.

You walked up on me while I was orin', man. Oh, no. Screw V. Dave and all. Oh, that'll be a 17. A 17. You notice that he is rocking back and forth. He is. Oh, when rock was young. You notice that he is rocking back and forth the song. He seems to really enjoy it.

If you give me more time, I'll perfect the lyrics. I was kind of making it up on the spot about a time where Kremi and I would go diving and get drowned by a marrow. You'd be back five seconds ago. It's more of a... It's more of a... You know what I mean? Oh, boy. Young mortals have pleased me. Thank you. I will allow you passage. Oh. I will assist.

He reaches down, he picks each of you up, and he moves you to the other side of the water. Be careful not to get in the water again. I may not be there to save you next time. And the marrow are dangerous. You encountered only one. But in these waters, there are many. Thank you for your...

saving our lives thing. And for your wisdom. That was pretty cool. Do you have a name, perhaps? If I do, it's a name long forgotten. Oh, I mean, what will you do now? You may call me Rocky. Rocky's fine. That's pretty good. That's a pretty cool name. It's a pleasure to meet you, Rocky.

It's a pleasure to meet you as well. Well, enjoy your newfound wokefulness. It is time for me to rest. Are you sure? Now that you're awoke, don't you want to do fun things? I've been awake for too

long. You said it was so nice to be awake. If I gifted you something that would keep you entertained for many, many days or years, do you think you could stay awake and enjoy everything there is to enjoy about the Feywild?

No. What can we do? I mean, we might need you later to chuck boulders at that hut up there. Oh, you know where to find your old pal, Rocky. All right, let's keep that in mind, fellas. Good night, new friends. Be safe, little mortals. And you watch as he slowly starts to sidle back down into the muck. He slowly begins to submerge and all you see is the top of his head.

And if you didn't know that he was the third rock from the left, you wouldn't be able to distinguish him from any of the others. Third rock from the left. Isn't that a TV show? Yeah, third rock from the left. I was trying to think about it.

That's exactly right. My name's French Stewart! I wish I had a career beyond this! Oh my god, speaking of French Stewart, we were just talking about the Hercules animated series! And French Stewart, I believe, voiced Icarus in that, didn't he? Yeah, yeah, it all comes full circle.

Well, let's keep that in mind. Rocky could be a powerful ally in the future fights to come. Also, one moment. I take my shoes off and I dump water out from under them. Oh yeah, give me a second. My nose is bent in several directions. I've got to get swamp water out of it. Just give me a second. And I'm going to take it off. I will remove my little makeup case and I'll flip it open and I'll...

pull out the black stick of makeup and I'll sort of just reapply my mustache that's probably totally washed away. How do I look, kid? Well...

Is that one straight? Yeah, you're looking pretty damn good. All right. Except for all the muck and gross stuff all over it. Oh, yeah. I mean, there we go. That's a little better. Oh, yeah. It's pretty good. You like the same? If you wouldn't mind, you know, I'll just kind of slick it back in my hair. There's mud all the way back here. It's like perfect when you tuck back. And I'll just clean you up. Oh, yeah. Fresh as a daisy. If you wouldn't mind. Thank you.

Hey, how about you try not to fucking jinx us next time we gotta walk across like crazy mossy rocks and there's carnivorous fish people all around us. I feel very confident that would have happened regardless of my words. Oh, fuck. And I look at my suit jacket and there's tons of bird shit. God damn it. I just cleaned this. Fuck. And I look at my other shoulder. Fuck.

And other unlucky things happen to me as well. That's good. I won't bother role-playing. That's going to just keep happening to you for 24 hours. That's right. Frosty turns black and then continues to pace in front of you. Oh, yeah. That's genius. Why didn't we do that? Oh!

Oh, there was a ladder up against that tree! Fuck! Ah, shit! As you close your mirror, it cracks in your hand. Oh, no! Bro, let's fix it. Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.

It cracks again. Oh, fuck! Damn it! How about tomorrow? I'll fix it for you tomorrow. That was horrible. I was in my own self, and then all of a sudden all my friends were gone, and I was here all by my lonesome, looking down at the water, wishing I wasn't alone. I'm sure it was very scary.

Well, I can imagine why. It was a close one. We almost... I almost died a clown, and then I almost died a Tamaxi. But this is part of... Don't do that again, okay? Well, it's part of being an adventurer. I need you guys. Yes. It's part of being an adventurer, though I will add the transformations where you suddenly think and perceive things very differently. That's an added layer of challenge. Why does that keep happening? I've never experienced anything like that before. Really? Yep.

Well, I always thought it was a feature of the Feywild and that that sort of happened to all creatures here. Yeah, it just keeps happening to us out here. It seems to be an us thing. Well, maybe you got a higher tolerance because it kind of happened to you when you licked that frog and you went all crazy. I love licking frogs. It's one of the best things

can do with your free time. Speaking of which, she reaches down and grabs the frog. No, no, no, no, no, no! This one is really beautiful cerulean blue, and as she licks it, it turns green. Whoa! That's a good one! Oh, God. That's our twig! Who else but twig? Oh!

Get back up here. You're not going to be walking for at least 24 hours. You were so weird with your

Yeah. Well, I turned into a donkey. I'm glad your face is back. Yeah, I don't know. It felt kind of weird, and I had this impossible anchoring for waffles. It was, like, so super strange that I was, like, hitting on you and stuff, huh? You didn't like it? No, I thought it was really great. Okay, cool. I mean, whatever's weird. Yeah, well, I mean, I guess when I look like a donkey, it's pretty weird. But you don't have a girlfriend or anything? No, I don't have a girlfriend. Okay. I've just been in a couple wives, but... Yeah, okay.

Or boyfriend until you guys didn't have friends period.

Yeah, we're all lads, we're all bachelors, we don't settle down until we were contractually obligated by a gross old satyr. Yeah. Well, I was kinda contractually obligated by Kremi. Oh, that's true. 'Cause he forged a contract. That's true. But I got out of it, so I'm very grateful that you got, you know. It's just a prank, bro, you know? It's all ironic, you know? Yeah, yeah. All of it's sort of ironic. Especially when I was hitting on you and stuff, that was just a joke.

Unless... I mean, so where are we going to go now? Well, we've made it past the stones and the rocks and the merfolk, so we are actually... Is it hot in here? Oh, that's just because he's riding on me and I'm made of fire. He's got freaky blood. That's what that is. I'll try and cool off that shoulder handle.

Oh, I guess it's Ephrita. Excuse me, I have done a lot of learning about your culture. Ephrita blood, on account of the fact that it was his mother, on his mother's side is the genie. It was his mom on his mom's side? Yes. Wow. So I have learned, do you know how long it took me to be able to pronounce that correctly? Two days.

three years I was surprised you didn't say Mothur again yeah I wish I was my mom I was going to waste the time to say instead of my mom M-U-M wait hold on it's not pronounced Mothur

Have you only ever read the word? Yes, it's actually a th instead of a t. It's a mother is how you pronounce that. Oh, it's kind of like moth. Moth-er. That's exactly how I think of it. Twig, you're so dumb.

You're all right, Twig. Thanks. So are we going to go? Yes, we're heading to the balloon factory. It should be just around this... Oh, it's a hot air balloon factory, and it's on fire. Presumably, we can't miss it. Don't get so excited it's burning to the ground. I got really excited, and you let all the air out of my balloon. And you know what? I think when we arrive, the air's going to be even hotter. Let's go. Come on, Gideon.

All right, here we go. To the fire factory. And you begin to make your way through the thicket of trees until you eventually see in front of you what appears to be a burning building. Looming above a ramshackled wooden pier is a balloon anchored... Wow, that's a damaged balloon. Why am I reading that?

This wooden structure stands on stilts above the lake. It is topped by a steep conical roof made of thatch. Smoke curls up from a hole at its apex. Its windows are blacked out and the air carries the smell of burned wood. A clothesline attached to one corner of the building's exteriors hung with a variety of frayed patchwork garments.

You make your way up to it. You guys are planning to enter? Yeah. You make your way up to it, and as you enter, this room is a charred mess. Hazy smoke hangs over scattered piles of burned and broken shelves intermixed with whatever those shelves contained. Wisps of smoke snake into the air from several spots where smoldering wreckage threatens to ignite. A distressed bullywug in a leather smock scurries around the room with a bucket of water, whose contents spill out over the sides in his haste.

As you step in, he immediately looks towards you. Panicking, he points over to a corner of the room where you see a bench with six buckets just filled with murky swamp water. Grab a bucket! We have to make sure the fires are out! And that's where we'll end the session. Oh!

More Bollywogs. I love Bollywogs. Me too. Especially when we finally meet Billy Wig. Billy Wig. It's never happening. It's gonna happen. It's happening. We should have a memorial service for... For Billy Wig. Willy Wags. Willy Wally. Rag Dog McCutty. Rag Dog McCutty. His name was Wigwog.

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