Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 11 | The Pixie Dust Plot
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Hey everybody, Chuckles here. Welcome to Legends of Avantrith. You're listening to Once Upon a Witch Life. Here's what happened last time. It is here that she revealed herself to be the Kenku you were looking for. I've watched you look for me in the crowds.

I'm looking for my patron, Sibylna. I've not been in contact with her for a while, to a point that is disconcerting. The last that I heard were whispers of the Witch-like Carnival. I believe that whatever happened to her started here. If there's something unicorn-related you want, you're gonna find it in Pixie Kingdom. I'm obligated to be excited about that, thank you.

Oh, so you came to get on the Ferris wheel you want to ride here? Attention everyone in Pixie Kingdom! Dionysus Knight is kicking off! We are going to go ahead and get ready! Costumes supplied by the Carnival! Starfish! Jellyfish! Jellyfish! This is absolutely ridiculous!

How the hell are we supposed to get anything done with you complete imbeciles? And I hate to say this, you might be my only hope, which means I have less than one hope. I heard Mr. Witch and Mr. Light say something. They were communicating to each other. I heard them say, that is where we'll end the session. Wait, so they said that's where we'll end the session? Fuck off. That's very strange things to say.

You found yourselves continuing to make your way through this madcap carnival, heading closer and closer towards the final hours of the Witchlight Carnival and the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch.

It was through some conversation with Burly the Bugbear that you have a new mission. Well, you have a couple. One from Mr. Light himself given to Frost, which is to find the Kenku that has been terrorizing their carnival and to apprehend them and bring them to justice. Burly, their bodyguard, gave you a little more information. Though he trusts his bosses, he knows that there's something up and he wants to find his missing brother and has tasked you with...

Making friends with some of the Witchlight hands in the hope that you can execute a heist and procure one of the items that the owners themselves utilize, the Witchlight Vein and or the Witchlight Pocket Watch.

in the hopes that you can use this as a bartering tool. Though Mr. Light told you that bringing the Kenku to him would provide you with the ability to ask him questions, and that he would answer them, he did not promise that he would be truthful. And it is the truth that you seek.

You make your way through the carnival, there's still much to do, and you still have Madrick, the warlock that sent you on this mission, in the back of your heads, reminding you to experience the whole thing, to not let this one night, this one opportunity pass you by. Though you have many things that need to be done here, there are still hours, and there's still lots to do. As you make your way to the Pixie Kingdom, and you enjoy the jubilance that you find there,

You're able to ride the Ferris wheel and meet a talking hamster named Biscuit, who is in the module. Because someone asked. You are able to start your own flash mob to Thriller. Squeak, squeak. Jellyfish, starfish. Squeak, squeak, squeak. And through some crazy turn of events, Gricko makes a fey pact with a pixie and betrothes himself to her.

It is at the end of all of this madness, with all of these things still living rent-free in the back of their minds, everything that they have to do, that the Kenku finally approaches you, realizing that even though you are a bunch of ridiculous and

uncontrollable heathens that you still might be her best bet at getting what she wants. Because one of the best ways to thwart people who are as calculated as Mr. Witch and Mr. Light is with a little bit of chaos.

And she arranges a meeting with you inside of one of the Pixie houses that surrounds this tree enclosure in Pixie Kingdom. And it is in here that she approaches you and she begins to speak, telling you that as much as she doesn't want to utilize you, she has no choice and that there's something that you need to know.

And in the voice that she has stolen, clearly, from Candlefoot the Mime, she begins to speak. There is something you need to know. I overheard Mr. Witch and Mr. Light in their wagons. Shortly after a conversation that I had with them, where I was pleading to learn more about Prismir, they claim they know nothing. But what I heard proves otherwise. People can overhear what happens in the wagons. LAUGHTER

Yes. It's very thin wooden walls. It's not...

Well, I mean, Giv was able to hear, like, into other dimensions and shit, so I'm sure he heard everything. I'm sorry to interrupt. It didn't occur to me. Oh, every single second. Most of the time, they leave one of the windows open. They light a lot of incense in there and it would get too smoky otherwise. The sound carries. They like a lot of incense. Everyone can hear everything that goes on in the wackiness. Oh, wait, is that the candles one? I don't know about that. What? What?

- Forget him. - Would you like to know what I heard or wouldn't you? - I would love to. - Very much. - Well, I think this may be the best way to do it. Someone's gonna find out about this. They're gonna shut us down.

you hear in Mr. Light's voice. "Oh, duh!" And then you immediately hear, "We agreed to this pact. Our hands were forced, but our eyes were open. We let the Owlglass Coven take what it wants, and in return we stay in business. That is what you want, right?" It was around this time that Burleigh made his way towards my location, and I had to away. Their conversation continued.

So I guess that explains why

Your patron, Magic's patron, just went missing. Is there a chance she's... There is no chance that someone as powerful as the Billner was taken down by a coven of hacks. There must be something far greater happening in Prismir. Well, it sounds like they are being blackmailed. Oh no. My concern are the specific words...

Oh no. I definitely realize that. No wonder it was better than ours.

And on top of that... Yeah, I mean, we had magic. Well, I mean... Didn't go this well. We had, like, charlatan magic. This is why you get nothing done. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Apologies. Your carnival, I'm sure, was mediocre at best. What? Better than I said. Mediocre, I mean. I'm saying that's a good thing. Most carnivals are garbage. Oh. All right, I'll take mediocre. I mean... Are you feeling all right, Gricko? Did you...

Forgive him. Didn't you hear what she said? Yeah. It's terrible. Well, I mean, we had sort of kind of like figured it out already. You know, we had used context. How did we figure it out? How do you know I was going to get engaged to a picture that I can't get out of? Well, no, I mean, that was a little unexpected. You heard what she said. I can't get out of it. I'm too young to get married. Do you have any advice for getting him out of this, uh...

Nup-sure agreement. She's not even my type. We'll think of something, Gricko. That's not what's important now. I don't think he's going to get out of this. You can't make a pact with a pixie, with a fae, and get out of it. It is eternally binding. Your soul is forced into matrimony.

There's gotta be somewhere around. How are we supposed to go to Prismir and freeze him ill enough? He's married. Well, if you're clever enough, you can attempt to make a pact out of it by providing something that the pixie would want more, but from what I saw, you're unlikely to...

Oh, we have to design the invitations. I'm trying to figure out why this is more important than the fact that there is a woman. She has to be passively, aggressively coming up with reasons why we can't invite my extended family. Oh, and I have to go along with her idea for the wedding hashtag. And then look at all me lads in the eye afterwards. Oh!

Once Graco gets fixated on something, it's hard to get his mind off of it. We can just move on, I think. It's not really... We'll inform him later once he's passed this difficult time. He made his bed, he's gotta sleep in it. What if she doesn't even love leech cake? I always promised me mum if I ever got married, it would be leech cake. And if she's allergic to leeches, oh, me mum's gonna hate her. Hold on, hold on. Did you make a fate pact to not run out on the marriage?

I don't remember. I was overcome with apparently romance when I suddenly got dressed as the legendary serial mascot Fruit Brute. Anyway, look, just get married and then just leave. Disappear. We'll be on our way on a grand adventure and we'll be hopefully helping our good friend Kettlestein.

And you know what? I appreciate this information, and first I want to let you know, I don't know if you know this, but you know Burleigh, the bugbear? He's on your side. He doesn't trust me. Because he trusts Mr. Witch and Mr. Light. And I don't. All I know is that he's encouraging us to steal either the weathervane or the pocket watch. And that was exactly what I was attempting to do. My attempts at conversation have gotten me nowhere. And...

I was hoping that I could distract them long enough with my antics that I would be able to make my way back to the carriage and steal away with one of their items and force them to talk. But they keep them on their persons at all time. And I am not getting anywhere close. But you have somehow gotten into their good graces. That's right. Somehow. And as much as I...

I dislike trusting you, and I am weary of your ability to accomplish anything, really. I don't feel I have a choice. I must find out what's happened to Sibylna. Though my magic has not faded with her disappearance, my patron is important to me. It's part of who I am, what I am. I'm sure as much as magic and I are not friends and do not see eye to eye, he feels the same.

He does. He cares very deeply for Sibyl Nunn. I mean, basically, he's given us his entire, I mean, vast wealth just for doing this. Oh, and rich treasures.

Yeah, we're talking everything. Gold, magic items, you know, maybe land. Gold and rings with diamonds. He is very, very well connected, so I'm sure the gold is the least of it. If you're lucky, he'll provide you with documents that give you far more than a silly piece of gold ever could. Hold on. Question.

He's not going to be one of those guys who's like, oh, you just risked life and limb to do a grand adventure. He's like, oh, the real treasure was knowledge. He's a book. No. Oh, thank goodness. No, he's old. I'm honestly not sure how old. And he's lived a life worth writing about, that's for sure. He has collected so many things in his life. He has a hoard much like that of a dragon.

And he spends nothing, so it's mostly there, I imagine, intact. And if he's offered it to you, it means he must be nearing the end. That's what it sounded like. A moon of a dragon? I mean, he didn't...

They didn't look too good last time we saw them. He's a little small for a dragon. Could there be a dragon in Ogwai? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. There's no way. He's not a dragon. Ah, okay. But he has a horde quite similar in size to that of a dragon. Okay. A dragon in Ogwai, that is preposterous. There hasn't been a dragon in parts of Ogwai for hundreds of years. You're exactly right. It's absurd. Absolutely absurd.

So, I appreciate your help, and I apologize for our antics earlier, I really do. I think we could be allies. I don't think I have a choice. There are a mere hours left before the carnival is over, and if we don't get the answers we need and gain access to Prismia, I fear I will be able to do nothing to help Zibilna.

So if this carnival wraps up and we don't get this solved... Somewhere in this carnival is the entrance to Prismir. The entrance? It's in the carnival. It is in the carnival. In the carnival. Where it's at, I do not know. How to get to it or access it, I am unsure. But it is here somewhere. I think there might be a clue that's been right under our nose this whole time. And by under our nose, I mean under Gideon's buttcheek.

Hey. Why did your mind go from nose to butt cheek? Because Gideon has had in his back pocket the letters that Mr. Rosloff gave us, and we've never read them. Hey, that is horrible slander. What a...

Right here in my chest pocket. Oh, underneath Gideon's handsome chest hair. Your front butt. Well, as a show of good faith, why don't we read them right here together? Yeah, with a good new friend and ally. Oh, you know who'd be nice? Kettlestein. If it makes it easier for you, you can call me Kett. Yes, Miss Storm. I like that, Kett. We agree to Kett. In the back of each of your minds, you hear Frost's voice.

Don't offer any guesses as to where Prismir's entrance may be. I have an idea, but I don't want to endanger Kettlescape. Can I respond? Oh, right, or can you? Actually, I think that you can, but I would have had to convey that message to each of you one at a time. You could have done that. It's like every six seconds, right? You can respond to this message. For the sake of...

of making things easy, we'll just add it to your vestige. - No, no, no, I can already do it. - Well, no, I'm saying that you can communicate to the three of them simultaneously. Anybody else would have to be separately, but your connection with them allows you to communicate with three of them simultaneously. - Oh, thank you. - Such good friends. - Yeah. - Oh, I already know where the entrance is. - Yeah. - That's pretty obvious. - Oh, it's very obvious.

Before we read the letters, I have one question that has been a curiosity for me, a mystery of sorts. What were you doing at the dragonfly rides? How were you attempting to achieve your goals? Because there was quite a bit of danger in what you were attempting to do, I think. Oh yes, I was sowing chaos. I was trying to plummet the mood of the carnival.

The Witchlight Weathervane that Mr. Light utilizes, he can use to raise the mood if he needs to, which could provide me an opportunity to sneak in and steal it. Anytime they need to use one of their items, they have to remove it from their person, which makes it more likely to steal. That's very clever. So I have been attempting to sow chaos, destroy the mood, and you are...

In your antics, increasing it and making it significantly more difficult. Well, we are pretty hilarious. Yeah, we're having a lot of fun. I do not think my plan is going to work. So that leads me to believe the only opportunity is to steal one of the items during the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch.

The weather vane itself is what is used to declare who the Witchlight Monarch is. The weather vane chooses. Whoever has brought the most joy to the carnival will be the winner. All eyes will be on the weather vane while Mr. Witch lurks in the shadows, his pocket watch not in use, tucked into his pocket, attached to him via a chain. If we can find a way...

I don't suppose we couldn't just say, "Mr. Witch, uh, what time is it?" and then just yank it out of his hand?

He may look like a silly carnival owner and nothing more, but his history, both that of him and Mr. Light, is far darker than you would think. He is capable of a lot, and if you think you can just snatch it from his hand, no, Frost, you can't. This will take brains. Yes, which is why I was loathe to ask you for help, as clearly...

You are more brawn than brains. Oh, we've got a brain. Yeah. We've got brains. Frosty and I are the brain trust, they call us. You're engaged to a pixie because you forgot that Pax existed. I was also under the spell of a court-charming rat queen. And also the lovable children's cereal mascot, Fruit Brute. I do not think that that argument is helping you in any way.

And I'll perform a song by Mickie Jackson. Well, this is... I mean, how can any lady resist it? I can think of a few who did. I hear your point, and I agree. I do. That being said, I have a few ideas. I think if we can find a way to sneak up behind him, I think we can get that pocket watch. Well, Grimmy, wouldn't you want a petty thief pickpocket for much of your life? I mean, I...

I would call myself a petty thief. I've done lots of petty thieving in my life, but, you know, there are a lot of layers to me. That's what I'm saying, petty thief. Yeah, you're not defined by what you do, though, you know. What you do is not who you are. Oh, so you're not a manslaughterer just because you manslaughter. Oh, no, that's me. No, that's me, yes.

Oh, no, that just applies to him. No, it's a fella that does some manslaughter occasionally. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. That's a big difference from being a manslaughterer. Huge distinction. But the point is that I'm very good at doing that, yeah. And if I can get it in my hand, I can make it go away for a period of time and we can be like, hey, look, go ahead and search us. We don't have it. I may be able to assist with my...

Mental five-finger discount, let's call it. Oh! Exactly. So if you could just sort of be like... Why would you not want him to know you have it? Well, not while we're stealing it from him. Well, there is security here. We wouldn't want them to know. There's a time and a place for everything.

If you have one of those items in your possession, they will do nothing to harm you. Oh, so couldn't we just like, if we get within five feet, just get on him and he'll just grab it and... Breaking chains is what I do best. What part of they are far more powerful than you think they are, do you not understand? You will not be able to take it by force. Well, that's what I mean is that...

I'm saying, I feel like we gotta do the stealth and like get it and then somehow get a meeting with them and... Yes, the moment it's in your hand you can quite literally say, "Look what I have. You will talk to me or you'll never see this again."

So-- But we gotta break the chain and get it off of him. But you have to get it from him first. We're gonna break the chain. And that is not going to happen by brawn. I agree. Aw. I agree, I saw it, buddy. I mean, you know, I'm sure, you know, you can place a-- I just wanted to have any value of all of this. No, no, no, no! There hasn't even been one single place where I hit a bell with a hammer yet at all. Hey. Well-- Gideon, I think you and I will make the most amazing distraction.

And once you and I are through with Mr. Witch, he's going to be saying, Witch, one of you stole my pocket wads. LAUGHTER It was good of you. It was good of you all along. And if your original idea... A laughing character. ..can be our safety net, I think that that... LAUGHTER

And your original idea was not a bad one, I think. That can be our safety net. If it comes down to the final hour, we can just be a dick to everybody and lower the mood and perhaps find a way that way. And so our own version of chaos. Well, we gotta get one of us crowned the Witchlight Monarch. That's how we're gonna get it. The portal to Prismia is in the crown or something. We start tanking the mood. If one of you were crowned the Witchlight Monarch...

You would be close to both of them, in proximity, to easily take the pocket watch while all eyes are on Mr. Witch. Okay. Is there ever a chance that more than one of us is crowned? I haven't heard of it happening, but I don't see why not if it were an equal...

Well, what if one of us was crowned and then like, you know, in a prize fight when you win, Crummy walks up and puts your hand in the air and he's standing right next to you and then... I see no reason why a group of guys who are in a relationship together, as you are... It's a guys' night, it's just ironic. I don't see a reason that...

Men in this kind of relationship would not escort each other onto the stage. Yeah, well, I guess courts. Oh, gosh. I'm going to be walked down the aisle by my mum. Who's going to give you away? It's going to be my mum. But she's not here. Oh, you know who is here? Who? Globo. Globo, that was a figment... That was a figment of my imagination, Gideon. LAUGHTER

Right, Uncle Globo? That was a bit of me imagination.

Uncle Globo's dead, right? He doesn't exist anymore. You know, it was kind of unclear. I haven't seen him in a while. I've heard a story of he kind of got sent someplace, but I think that might have been me mum saying, oh, you know, he's not around anymore. It went to the farm, right? Yeah. I kind of wonder if he got banished, if he's wandering, if he kind of wandered off drunk.

- Is this conversation about your dead Uncle Globo more important than information about Mr. Witch and Mr. Light? - No, it's not. And that's why I'm asking. - We have not talked about what I'm concerned with about the Hourglass Coven. And you don't seem to be concerned about an Hourglass Coven either. But it sounds like you're heading into Prismir where they more than likely have some kind of dominance.

Perhaps. Have you seen how hard mace can punch bodies? Who's mace? I can punch them so hard, they never survive it! They're like maces. When I punch somebody, they die quick! He's really good at this. Good job! Well done, everyone. Mourning Derek agrees.

What did you guys? I'm Crammy the Rage Mentor. Anyways, what were you saying about the hourglass coming, Mickey? How dare you? Kettlestone, please continue. Please call me Kett. Kett, okay, kitty Kett.

Oh, kitty cat. Oh, that's very cute. That's pretty good. Come on. Is that pretty good? I'm a cat, cat, cat. Do you like kitty kits? You know? Or cat. Okay, cat. Would you like, as a sign of good faith, would you like to read Mr. Rosloff's letters? And... I personally do not care what Mr. Rosloff has given you. Yeah, they're like each other. If he gave you documents, I'm sure they're valuable. I thought it might be a clue.

They're probably not narrative. If they were a clue, I imagine he would have told you to read them. I mean, because he wrote it for Zabilna. No, he gave one for us and one for Zabilna, right? So as the DM, I will tell you, he gave you a letter for Zabilna, and as part of your prize, he gave you some scrolls. Oh, oh.

And so she is essentially telling you that they are probably valuable and are very helpful in some way, but are not lore important and probably do not have anything to do with additional information. They're not lore important, but I do want to hear about the hourglass. That being said, it's also the DM's way of saying you might want to read those anyway. Well, we can cover that after this conversation. We want to learn about the sour pig.

Oh yeah, they took Hootsie. He doesn't remember who Hootsie is. And that is what I wanted to talk about. Mr. Witch specifically said, "Will you shut up?" Please! I don't think he can, to be honest with you. I could get to it, I'm nervous, I just can't stop talking. And I'll just go betrothed.

I'll have to have guys like again enough to invite you guys to back and all me best friends in my college roommate Neil My childhood friend Kevin is not Neil here Oh

- Hey Neil! - Hey, great gal. It's been some time since we've been together in college. - Yeah. - You're a bad bum man. - It was really nice going to Golden College with you. - Okay, I'm writing Neil down. - This is one of your horrible curses. - Oh, go the sucking mosquitoes.

I'm your favorite team. Let's go to the Gorepoint. See that one too? Yeah. It's Goblin College. It's Goblin College. It's not a bad idea. The only time we've seen it without... It's a community college. Without the Watch was the last time we went on Guys Night. We just go on another Guys Night. Takes out the watch, slows down the carnival. We take the watch from him.

There's our opening. Well, no, I mean, he had a reason to send us our guys, now. There was an ulterior motive. A, because Mr. Light wanted to have his way with Frost, but B, they were trying to stall for- Have another cupcake, Frost. Yeah. Well, there we go. We just flung Frost off in front of Mr. Light. Was that a mimic? No, that was the mom's voice. What?

Yes. No, no, no. She was mimicking Mr. Light. No. No? Oh. She was mocking him with Candlefoot's voice. I am. I could if I wanted to. Oh, I'll just, anyway. This is another possible plan of attack that I could get close to Mr. Light again. I was very close to his weatherman. Oh. Oh, oh, were you, Frost? Were you in spinning distance? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

- How many M's is it? - N-Seed. - Oh, God. - Okay, we need the Witch Lord Coven. What are they up to? They obviously stole the Mr. Witch and Mr. Lion. - The Hourglass Coven. - Oh, the Hourglass Coven. There's a lot of lots here. - Yes, but I don't think it's our glass, it's theirs.

How do you get anything done? We don't. Well, we don't really. Once we're through with the hourglass coven, they're going to be saying, oh, who took hourglass? Where did it come from? Where did it go?

Glass. Eh, didn't work. Uh, you know, the answer to your question is it's kind of Drunken Monk style where we sort of accidentally get it done every time. It's actually a miracle. Why might he swallow his coffee, please? He ruined his fucking map. Continue. Yes, uh, it's remarkable. I'm not sure if we're just lucky or if it's just, uh,

Our combination of skills and various talents, but our success just keeps emerging. I don't know what to tell you. It's almost as if there's a god watching over you, allowing your antics to succeed. As if they're amused at your existence. Or maybe it's an extremely capable leader that just keeps everybody in check despite their antics and buffoonery. I mean, that is true. Frost does do a great job at taking care of things. Oh my god!

That's the funniest joke in the night, Grimmy! What are you laughing about? Oh! He's falling down. Grimmy's joke! Oh, I didn't know you were such a comedian, Grimmy. I wasn't joking. Gricko, would you kindly shut the fuck up and make a wisdom saving throw? Oh! Oh, he fails. Please continue. Well, we might actually be able to have a conversation now. Ah!

You can still hear, right? You haven't blocked it. Yeah, no, he just, yeah, he just can't speak. Okay, very good. So we can have a fucking conversation, please. My concerns are two of the things that they said. One is they agreed to this pact, which means Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are in a fey pact. That is clear. So their hands are tied. Their hands are tied. What on earth happened?

could have caused them to make a pact with a coven of hags. I mean, if they're so concerned about staying in business, are they getting rich off this carnival? No. What I will say is they came to this carnival from another. They've not been the owners of the Witchlight Carnival from its inception. It was owned by a beautiful, kind archfey.

The one they originally came from or this one? This one here. The Witchlight Carnival itself is a carnival of the Fae, born of the Fae, and it is in itself a Fae crossing. That's what allows entrance into Prismir. The carnival they owned was one of Shadowfell. That's right. Oh, Mr. Witch and Mr. Light owned a Shadowfell carnival? They did, yes.

Almost certainly worse than ours. And it was through a chance meeting between Mr. Witch and Mr. Light and the former owner of this carnival that they came to an agreement that they would switch carnivals. She would run theirs and they would run theirs. I'm not sure the terms of how long it was supposed to be. For all I know, she's stuck somewhere in the Shadow Vale cursing the deal that was made.

And they've run off with an amazing carnival of happiness and joy. For their carnival, I can tell you, is the mirror opposite of the Witchlight Carnival. So maybe they were trying to escape some dumb deal they made with their own carnival? It's possible. And it's possible she came to collect. It's hard to know. But the Witchlight Weathervane and the Witchlight Pocketwatch had once belonged to her in a different form.

were split into two to allow mr witch and mr light to have their own hold on the carnival itself the carnival cannot exist without both of those items the witchlight weather vane ensures the mood and keeps it running during its allotted time and the pocket watch builds it up and breaks it down into a tiny little package so it can be traveled with without them it would cease to exist

All right. No, don't allow it. Don't allow it. We have accomplished so much now that he can't speak. One moment, Griggo. It's honestly, I feel that the three of you could get so much done if you didn't have this goblin accompanying you everywhere. You know, that's an idea. Just one moment, Griggo. Were they originally called Mr. Witch and Mr. Light or...

Was the carnival originally called Witchlight? It seems like a terrible coincidence. I do not know their original names, but I do know that Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are monikers. They are names that they use now that they are the owners of the carnival. That sounds about right. But their previous names, I'm sorry, are unknown to me. What if we got one of the Pogawatch or the Weathervane and we just destroyed it?

The carnival fell to, like, disappeared or whatever. I imagine the natural conclusion would be that we would have destroyed the Fae Crossing that would allow us to save Zabillna. Or would we have released the Archfae from her pact? She has to run one, and they're pactually obligated to run the other, but the other no longer exists. You just wanted to say pactually. Ha!

That's pretty good. I've been trying to work out a Pax Unplugged joke. You are so smart. What are we plugged? Mr. Lado will have to tell you. Grego, you may have one charade.

Alright, Monterey. Okay, two words, sounds like... Oh no, sounds like... Ear, ear. Ear, ear two. Ear, hashtag. Kill, murder. War. Key? Key turn, war turn. Unlock. Unlock. Warlock. You're both warlocks. They're both warlocks.

Happy. Happy. Sad. Mr. Witch. Boy. Mr. Witch is also a warlock? Oh, is it possible that Mr. Witch or Mr. Light are warlocks with some patron of their own, perhaps? That could be the nature of their pact. I am unsure. Oh. That's a good point. Well, here's the thing. Do you know where the Shadowfell Carnival tools are at? Very good, Greg.

Because my patron, the good Baron, that's where he lives is the Shadowfell, and maybe I could ask him about it, but I haven't heard about this. And he might be familiar with the other carp. That's what I mean. Does it like go around the Shadowfell, or is it sort of like this one where it goes to the material plane, but it acts as a crossing, sort of like mirror style, you know? I'm unsure.

I'm only invested in the Witchlight Carnival because of Zabilna. I'm not studied on the two carnivals, especially the Shadowfell. I simply have collected information from drunken Witchlight hands as I've been able to. Those Witchlight hands do throw hands sometimes. And they're quite talkative if you get them in the right mood. All right.

They drink and they know things. Before we enter Plant Town, I have one more question. That's what you always say, and then you have like 50 more questions. Well, I like to ask questions. It's how we learn. It's how we gain knowledge. We have only talked about one of the two things I wanted to address, so yes, please, let's continue. We have all the time in the world. What do you know about the original kind owner of which plant?

Nothing. Excuse me, I had a lot of cake earlier. Do you... You don't know what... You said kind. You said... Yes, I'm reiterating what was told to me. Okay, so just hand... There are some at the carnival that remember working it when she was the owner. Older... Would you know? No, no, no. Well before. Well before your time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Older...

What was the second thing that you wanted to talk about before we planned? Was that it? We're done talking about the pact? Yeah. Well, I think there's something else I should ask. Zedelna's sleeping. Contract. The opposite of war. Peace. Together. Treaty. What? Crown. Goblin-topia. Crown. King. Bishop. Oh, my hat! My hat!

The Baron. Top hat. What about the Baron? She doesn't know about the Baron, would her? Oh, a deal? A deal with the Baron? Oh, Mr. Oh, we need to find out who the, who, well, she says she doesn't know if he's a warlock or not. You're asking what, what Mr. Witch's patron would be. What to do? What to do? You can, you can make him, can, can you shut him up again if we need it?

Alright, you have like ten minutes. I'll bet that they made a pact with the Archfey and she is their patron and they're like, oh, we just tricked you. They made a Faustian bargain with the Archfey and if you ask the Baron if he is in the Shadowfell, then maybe he knows what her deal is and what her name is and maybe he knows he's seen the carnival and maybe he'll know if she's their patron.

What the fuck are you talking about? The kindly archfey? Who got stuck with a bum carnival, do you? You think the... The shadow man! The shadow man in the shadowfell would know of the shadowfell carnival. She's here right now! What I will say is I did hear that she is unable to leave the shadowfell due to the carnival. And that she would like hers back. So it is possible they're running from her.

But I don't imagine that she is their patron. The blunt thickens. Maybe that's the nature of the pact they made, is to be ever hidden from her. It is possible that the time is near. They specifically said that they stay in business. They stay in business. Not that the carnival continues to run.

but that they stay in business, which makes me wonder if the time is near that they're supposed to trade back. And they have made, the only thing I can think, is that they've made this pact to not have to return to the Shadowfell. And so these hags are going to keep them running this carnival here. And it's just a better lot than their pre-existing arrangement.

Wait, do we know what happened to Zbillna? We don't. That's the entire point of getting into Prismir. Well, if Zbillna got disappeared by the witch, the Hourglass Coven, isn't Zbillna a powerful archfey herself? Maybe they're like, oh, we are the exterminators of powerful archfey.

You got a problem? We'll get rid of her or do something. It's just good marketing. Yeah. Yeah. What's the other thing you want to talk about? The other thing I want to talk about is you've seen the signs about the children that have gone missing. Burley lost his brother Hurley. Mm-hmm.

They specifically said, we let the Hourglass Coven take what it wants, and in return we stay in business. I think what they want is people, and they are using the carnival as a way to procure people. And so basically if somebody screws up and breaks one of the rules, they just snatch them up and... Have you seen the creatures that take the little pig girl? No.

Oh yeah, we did. The strange frog zombie creature. I think he saw the other two. I saw all of them. And he just told us about it. We have only seen the south. Two were muscular. Two was wearing masks. One was like, oh, I'm going to go. I'm going to be confectioning or deceptioning. And the other one was like, I'm going to put on a play about discard at night.

And everyone was like, hey, I'm a little frog guy. He was gross and he was small and green and he wouldn't shut up and he had annoying looking eyes. Big sharp teeth. I believe that each one of them is in some way tied to one of the specific hags. I believe that they are minions.

They do the work for the hags in the Witchlight Carnival in a place that they will not go because they are currently up to something in Prismir. I believe this Witchlight Coven is responsible for whatever's happened to Sibylna. And that scares me. What? Can you please shut him up again? What do you mean shut the fuck up?

What did he say? He said, "Our"-- "Our" means corrective. Fuck! Yeah. Literally, he's like-- Yeah, yeah. It's an easy mis-acto-- That'll be fun when done again. Anyways, this-- The hourglass comes in. So here's the deal. Do you happen to have an idea of what if we just find those three, you know,

People steal and just kill them. There are more where they came from. Well, you have two choices here, really. You can steal one of the items and force Mr. Witch and Mr. Light to give you the information that will lead you into Prismir. I like that idea. Or, if you're smart enough, and I don't think you are, you can find the entrance yourself. No. Uncover the secrets to getting in yourself.

We don't have time for that. And do it without causing a stink. No, not a chance. No, no, no. Yes, so I think you're going to need to steal. I feel like we could probably go on another ride and I might have been cracked. If we give it a shot. No, no, no. Look, look. You're just trying to ruin the fun. We want to steal. Yeah, Frost. And don't you want to steal? You can use your mind to steal. Would that make it better? A little. There we go. Oh, you want to steal too? Is that right? Yeah? Yeah.

Think of Hootsie. Oh, I guess you don't know who Hootsie is. Who is Hootsie? Oh, Hootsie is his adopted owlbear daughter. Basically like a pet, you know?

The memory of someone he cares about very much has been removed from him. It's actually extremely tragic. We're trying to avoid the topic. Well, unfortunately, I'm going to have to pry a little further. What happened to this companion? Oh, so she got snatched up by the sow pig and, uh...

and whisked away, and she was supposed to hold that pumpkin that he's holding. Yeah, nothing like that. He doesn't know why he's holding it. Yeah. And so anyway, it's sort of like how I got to tell everybody that I love unicorns. She had to carry that pumpkin. That was her deal. I have to water my crown. It's wilting. Oh, well, do you have any water? There's a cup of tea. Oh, what? It's decaf? It's decaf. Oh, well...

Probably needs full care, huh? What were you attempting to convey, Graco? Even quiet he's distracting, isn't he? Cat? Oh, Torbjorn. Homeless man? Uh, carry...

Robber. Stealing. Stealing. Theft. Thievery. Robber. Man. Robber man. Robber man. Cat burglar. Cat burglar. Cat burglar. Oh, making a joke. Charades. Got you in the works. You got me there. I'm a burglar. I'm a burglar. I'm a burglar. Yeah. Cat burglar. Oh, that's good. Well...

It seems to me that we're most likely to steal to take either item. If we raise the mood of this carnival as much as possible and attempt to do it when they are least suspecting it, if one of us is crowned king, especially, should we attempt to do it before then and get kicked out potentially and miss out on our opportunity to solve the entrance to the Feywild? Or should we do our very best to make merry? I say we go for the king. Get the Witchlight King. Maybe even Grinko. Monarch.

Or the Monarch. Either one, really. Hourglass King, I believe. Hourglass King. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Gricko whittles up like a replacement pocket watch. Kremit slips at it. Oh, you get a little slide of hand. Yeah, yeah, Indiana Jones style. I break the chain. We just, same weight. We do the old, you know, we do the old

Swap-a-roo. Scooby-doop. With Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo. Yeah. You know, maybe we can do the old... I can, like, sort of vanish into the shadows, you know? And maybe I take that, and you use your mind to take the pocket watch. I'll slip the fake pocket watch in, and then we reveal our hand and say...

Once we're free and clear of him, we reveal that we have it. Yeah, but we gotta be honest because I can't willingly tell a lie. Well, so maybe you just can't get near him. Maybe Frosty does mine stuff and takes the watch. Well, I mean, what I said is if we're gonna just be upfront about it, I'm gonna be like, hey, we stole your shit.

And maybe I won't say anything else about all the stuff we just learned. Well, after the fact, but if you get up near him and he's like, hey, what are you doing? And you're like, ah, I'm robbing you. Fuck! We've plenty of time to discuss these details, but we have limited time with Kettlestein. Kettl, I have a question. Kett. We've been asked to capture you. Yes. And bring you to justice. I know. Do you know what the nature of this justice would look like?

I don't think it would be pretty. No. I don't also want to have no answers. If somebody like Mr. Witch or Mr. Light came to us and said, "Wow, why haven't you caught him yet? Why haven't you caught Kettlestreamlet yet?" We need to have a plan for why either you've stopped or why you've evaded us. I'm not going to stop. I'm going to continue to cause chaos.

And you just have not caught me. No one else has. Are they going to be surprised that you were unable to do it? Oh, then we can advance our alibi. Just keep doing your thing.

so we just go ahead what you gotta stay away because it's got to wait for me did you see kiddo's thing i don't know yes we did we had a whole conversation i'll just i know how to actually shut the up when i need to all right good i'm glad i don't have a curse it doesn't have anything to know me too be where we are be where we are not i know where you've been yes

So I will be where you've been and not where you have left to go. So you'll go everywhere except for perhaps the Hall of Illusions. It's quite boring. No, I cannot go there as I've stolen the voice of the mine. And I quite like it. Oh, you'll... I mean, it suits you, strangely. Thank you. I would like you to give it back eventually. He needs it.

He's got kind of pretty voice. Yeah, honestly, there's a whole romance that you're interrupting. It's bringing the whole mood of the carnival. Well, I guess that makes sense. Can you steal Paco's voice? What do you know about Paco? Yeah, what do you know? Is it true he has a peanut allergy? Yes, he does have a peanut allergy. I saw his face swell up once because he accidentally sniffed some nut dust.

What if you steal his voice and then we just kill him because we hear he's bad news? I could be persuaded to give Candlefoot back his voice. Oh, cool. Well, Thacko is a good suggestion, I do think. He tries to get in with Mr. Witch and Mr. Lion. It doesn't work, but he tries. Is he a bad customer? I feel. I don't know him well enough. Where does he hang out?

the wagon. He likes to... He likes to taunt Burley. And as much as Burley does not seem to like me, I do think that we are kindred spirits in a way, and...

That's not a bad idea. I want you to roll a persuasion check for me, please. Ooh! I can do it? I would say at advantage. Oh, you're gonna do it? I don't care. I thought you were talking to me. Oh, me? No, I was talking to Frost because Frost is the one that suggested giving the voice back. I thought particularly persuasive. Well, I was the one that suggested Thaco, so. So, I would say one of the two of you can do it at advantage. Oh, wow, this is very persuasive. Look at you! Thank God.

Out of curiosity. 13, 16 would have been fine. Yeah, that would have been acceptable quality. Thank you, Mikey. 19. Cattle steam looks at you and well, hmm. It would bolster your rep...

not repertoire, your reputation, especially with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light, if the carnival's mood were raised at your own hand, and bringing the lovers back together could do just that. And while you're doing that, I can steal another voice. I'm not speaking to you until then, so it gives me time to procure the voice until next we meet. Here are some peanut butter M&Ms, and if you just wait for him to laugh, you just toss one in there.

Lovely, and she'll take them and put them in her pack. What's an M&M? I don't like that parallel. I don't like that. Oh, you got them when you went to Hershey Park. What a great idea. The keeper of the one-pound chocolate bars. Oh, what a good time that was. Way better than Scrub Garden.

We better rip this world apart! I hate one flag. Did you say shrub garden? That's really funny. Is it a bush garden? I said scrub garden. I thought you said shrub garden. That's what I heard. I'm messing up my words tonight, too. I'm in big trouble. I mean, I don't have a brain, so... Um...

She looks between both of you and she nods. Well, I guess that's it then. This will be the last we speak until Thakko has come to an end. Why would I have to kill him? I'm not going to kill him. I'm simply going to steal his voice. Yeah, well, I guess let me just ask. Let's say you steal his voice and then we kill him. Are you going to lose the voice? Those are sort of finest keepers.

I'm not sure. Interesting. It's quite a conundrum. But that's something for us to worry about in the future. And she reaches into her pocket and she pulls out what looks to be a corn husk doll with a thorny stem tied around its neck. And it is clear upon looking at this that it is a husk doll that is made in the visage of Candlefoot the Mime.

and she hands it to you. Take that to Candlefoot, remove the thorny vine from around its neck, and his voice will be released back to him. And if we had asked, what should we say as far as how we found this? That you almost caught me in a crowd of people, but I was able to slip through your grasp,

However, you were able to snatch this from my person before I got away. Well, one of you will have to handle that. It's my pleasure. It's very appropriate, given how thorny Candlefoot is. All right, well, stay safe. So that's another slip of the tongue. Yes. Yes.

Is that it? Are we good? I hope that's it. All right. Okay. We have a plan? We have got such a plan. Oh, we're going to win. It was something meeting you. Good luck. Good luck to you. Good luck, Kat. Stay out of danger. Until we meet again. Until we meet again. I hope you are successful. I will be watching from the wings at the crowning of the Witchlight. Oh, yes, because I'm Makenku. Oh.

It's kinda sad that you can't fly. Well, it was lovely meeting you. You have a nice night now. And you watch as she turns off her dorn leaves. If I was a bird person and I'm walking out and I couldn't fly-- What are you doing? Oh. God, that's so rude. Oh, I'm just feeling sad now all of a sudden. Oh, the mood. No, no, no, no, no, no. We've got the perfect solution, Gregor, to raising the mood. Oh! For what could raise the mood greater than a wedding?

Everyone likes a wedding until the pigeons explode from too much rice. I mean, every comedy does end with a wedding. I figured it. What is wrong with you?

- Well, I guess that we need to just-- - Do your parents ever call you and go, "How did we make you?" - Pretty much every morning. - And why? - I'm like, "I've explained this to you before." - What have we done? - You sent me to clown college. What did you expect? - Why do you exist? - We were spending six weeks in clown college. Get the fuck away from us. - What am I gonna pull? - You fucking juggle! - Well, I guess,

The plan is to get one of us to be the Witchlight Monarch. So we need to enjoy more merriment. I love it. Well, we got the rest of Pixie Kingdom. Oh, let's enjoy the rest of Pixie Kingdom. Hey, Jellybean Starfish, Jellybean Starfish, Jellybean Starfish. Oh yeah, I'm Jellybean Starfish. I'm Jellybean Starfish.

What's your name? Dimple! Dimple with a double! Dimple, me. And Cotton Candy! I imagine canonically Gideon has a little notebook. It's like really tiny. And he pulls out that tiny spectacle. Yeah!

Getting actually secretly journals every night. Today, I was the cake check. I ate so much cake. Life is good. You're on your stomach and your feet are kicking up behind you. Ross is a pussy. A cat who couldn't eat

need as much cake as me. Nothing else of import occurred. Yes, it seems to me that we really need to enjoy this carnival to its maximum. That means that we can go count the feathers. Perhaps even go back to the snail racing. No, no, no. We ought to do that. Snail racing was too complicated. Oh, and that's where Toolback met his end.

Oh, he died? I thought that he was captured. I think they brought him to the farm. It's unclear what happened to him, but at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. Every time you guys say farm, you mean murder, so I can only assume that Torbjorn said... No, we mean manslaughter and then clearing up the body. You know a dimple implies the existence of one large or smaller dimpling?

What about like a bigger, just like a dimp? Oh, a dimp. A dimp. I like that. I like that. Oh, a dimp. A dimp. A dimp. Let's go. I knew a bloke back in the swamp who called himself a dimp.

There's always a red candle in his window. Oh my god. He wore very nice hats, though. I mean, you know, it's quite nice. I'm glad you mentioned this. Are they more like masks? That conversation with Kettlesteam was very long, so I'm hoping to take a dip if we can find a restroom. You watch as Kett leaves.

clearly offended by Gricka's comments about flying and shuts the door behind you. You imagine you could stay in this room as long as you need to. It's nice and cozy in here. There is tea available on the counter. There's a small little ice chest off to the side where you imagine that there are confections. Each of these houses is set up for places for a little bit of privacy and a little bit of relaxation in the wildness

that is the Witchlight Carnival. I'll let you go to the ice chest and see if I can find some ice. There is ice in there, but there are also Otter Pops. They're these adorable little frozen otter shaped popsicles that are flavored in many different flavors. There's melon, lime, there's a birthday cake,

that's filled with sprinkles on the inside. And each of the otters has cute little mustaches or monocles or adorable little features on them. Some of them are holding little clams. Guys, you never guess what I just found. What are you talking about? Delicious and cute frozen treats. How delicious and how cute? Take a look at this! Oh!

Get him out of there! Get him out of there! Oh, do they have a Cherry's Berries on the bar? They do have a Cherry's Berries on the bar! He's got two clams on it! Frosty, I know you're a birthday cake man. Why don't you just take that? I have a nice tea here. It's early. Get that fucking house back!

No, it was my Earl Grey tea. But you do notice that there is a lavender Earl Grey otter pop. It's a very dapper otter with a top hat on and a monocle holding a cane that's topped with a clam. You seem like an Earl Grey lavender otter pop. I don't accept this. It seems acceptable. I'd like to put some ice on top of my head and then produce flame and melt it and

Perfect. You're easily able to do that. Nice. Oh, look at this one. It's like a rocket otter, the red, white, and blue one. He has sunglasses and a machine gun. And a cheeseburger. That one's cheeseburger flavored. Oh!

- Hey! - You have any flavor like Tony Sachery's? - A little pickle. - You look down and you see that right next to the mango one covered in chili, that there is next to it a one that looks like it's frozen gumbo. - Oh my God. - One for you. - This is fucking brilliant. - Do you death roll when you do that? - I do.

- That otter had a skull mask on its face and it was holding a cane, a set of dice and was wearing a top hat as well. - Oh, it's the child's one. It's the mysterious yellow square otter and his eyes are like, ooh. Oh, its face is smeared. - It's clearly been heated and then refrozen and then heated and then refrozen. It looks like a monster. - Oh.

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Oh, he even says, oh, it's five o'clock somewhere. Let's drink tequila at 10 a.m. It's actually tequila flavored. And there's a worm inside. That's why I got it. No, it's pizza.

That's the margarita one. Oh, yes. The margarita one has the worm inside and also is covered in lime and salt. And then the other one is the pina colada. She's like a wasted cougar. She's got some mangoes. Yeah, she's got some...

Why don't we get drunk and hold hands because we're otters? If we want to improve the mood of this carnival, I do propose we find and distribute the tequila. There's no tequila here. You don't think so? If we unleash the tequila and this place burns to the ground. No, there's a tequila Otter Pop.

Is that enough for everyone? It's Dionysus night. Be careful with the power you're dealing with. I gotta say, my favorite thing about this is I just randomly make up Otter Pops for this ice chest and I throw out a couple and then y'all just run with it. Now there are a million Otter Pops. This one's made out of pork. It's the Otter Otter Pop.

Called a spaghetti and meatballs one. It's spelled Otter, O-D-D-E-R. Otter, Bob.

Ooh, the clam chowder one! Oh, it's just a normal one. This is a normal honor? It's a hyper-realistic honor. Like, hyper-realistic. Anyways, we should probably go. Okay, so we all gotta enjoy a nice time so the meal gets so good that Mr. Lord is like, I'm gonna use the weathervane and frosty you can be my monarch.

No, I don't think it's a matter of us enjoying a good time. It's a matter of everyone enjoying a good time. If we enjoy a good time, everyone will have a nice time. We have to make sure that everyone's having a good time. So we have fun, not at the expense of other people. That's right. I know that's kind of our thing. That's right. But we need another...

Can you behave? Oh, we got like, oh God, we really have like three hours left. Yeah, we do. That'll only take 24 in-game hours. Okay, think about that. Three game, three hours of game time. I mean, we've only been here four hours. We've got like twice as much time left over. We'll finish the carnival episode 48. Okay.

I'm gonna leave. I'm just gonna leave. And then we'll play the campaign. Okay! I kick the door open and then the prelude is over. Pixie Kingdom, we're here. We brought tequila orders. The moment you... Tiffany! The moment...

The moment you open the door, you are-- I do shower shots, girl. In my fucking werewolf costume that I'm still wearing, I'm dressed as the beloved cartoon mascot, Fruitbroom. Are you gonna let me DM, Michael? Fruitbroom! Can we shut the fuck up?

Please let me cast Suggestion at will and bring all these for you. I am about to start. I'm about to add that to your vestige. That's your vestige. That's brilliant.

I don't even remember what I was saying anymore. You know, you can talk, Mike. I don't know what to say. No, we're going out into Pixie Kingdom. What do we see? I'm following Gregor. Everyone's coming around for the Keel-a-Pops. No, they're not coming for the Otter Pops. What you see is that you are now surrounded by a bunch of giggling pixies. All of them wearing sashes around their necks that say, Bride's Pixie. One of them says, Pixie Bride.

And then on the back, it says, "Pixie dust, it's a rush." And they're clearly, they're all drinking from champagne and giggling as they swarm around you. And you hear a couple of them. There are 12 of them in total.

As they all swarm around you. I'm assuming that one of them is extremely drunk because it thought that, or she thought that she would be able to get married before the one that's actually. Can you please let me DM here? Is it okay for me to. I'm looking out for the drunk one. It's Frost. Is it okay for me to DM tonight, fellas? It's cool. You know, do you think, I know that this, we're now mutual DMs in this campaign, but like, would it be cool if like I maybe did it?

We're all DMs here. Except for Rich. Except for Rich? Shut the fuck up! You shut the fuck up! You don't DM. I haven't said shit.

So you see this. Hey, Carpe Diem, everybody. I want to see you guys get the stream started. Okay? Okay. We've done it once and it only froze a little. Yeah, right? We may have had to end. In 2018. Yeah, at least. We may have had to end early because we couldn't figure out how to get it restarted. And then after 45 minutes, we turned it back on to literally nobody. But we did it.

So if this is what I see. - Is there one that thought she was getting married first? - So yes, what you see as you walk out is 12 pixies as they begin to swarm you. One of them you see towards the back is crying. Another pixie has their arm around her.

And it's hard to hear what's being said as they're all chittering about, you do see actually they're only 11 because your bride is clearly off to the side with what appears to be a very boisterous and chubby pixie mom.

who is talking to her and helping her plan her wedding. You find yourself oddly more aroused by the pixie mom than your bride-to-be. That's not all. If I know Mikey. And Gricko. I mean Gricko. Give it a game, Mickey! Give it a game! I'm going to be fine. All you have to do is wait. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Just a few decades. We're gonna stop watching this. Like mother, like daughter. So... And they immediately begin to... Oh my god!

oh my god i'm so excited to you i'm so excited we can't believe that you're coming to the family we're all hit family here at pixie kingdom you know this is so great you are such a cute couple i mean it must not be easy being green i would have walked out in the scene setting i would have walked out no i would walk down the thing and see all

- Oh! Oh, the groom! - They immediately fly towards you and put a sash around you that says Pixie Groom.

It's quite easy to be green. I wrote a song about it. We have let everyone know what is happening here. Invitations have gone out. Mr. Witch and Mr. Light have already received theirs and have accepted. We're going to do the wedding right before the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch. It's going to be amazing. And you hear towards the back, I just don't get it, you know?

I was growing up as like so much cuter than she was, you know? And like I didn't want to say it because we're best friends. But like look at me. And if Jimmy had just not fucked, you know, I don't even want to talk about Jimmy right now. I'm really happy for her, okay? It's just the alcohol. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay, Rachel. It's gonna be okay. Have an autopop.

Is that what Frost is doing? No, no. I'm being a prophet. Derek is canonically the Witch-like Carnival. The bearded glasses man. I'm in Pitley Kingdom. This is so cool. I like the green face. I don't know who you are, Pitley King.

- I thank you so much for this honor. - It's fine, it's fine. You wanna get married though? - I mean, are you asking for real? 'Cause right now I'm vulnerable. And like you should say no, but do you wanna? - Yeah. - Look at my green pants. Do these green pants look like a bachelor's or a paint bear pants? - And you hear that as this random half elven male walks away with a pixie in his hands.

Goodbye, Rachel. That was a very strange man indeed. Did you see his pants? They looked really old and terrible. Who wears greats? Who wears greats? He's doing carnival. His sweater's clearly too small for him. Probably dried it on high. Griggo, you're alright. You look... You look... Lime.

And live auto pop shots for the bachelorette's party. So we did come over to ask you a question. You can say no, but please don't. What party is she being green? My name is Vixie and I am the pixie.

Oh, good. I can't wait for you to meet Neil. Oh, we've already sent Neil his invitation. Oh,

We just knew you were going to want him here as your best friend. I'm going to look for a while and get him. That was a goblin college. Cut to some random bedroom and Neil's just like, What's happening?

I need it. I can't wait to show my new magic the gathering deck. I'm not fucking kidding. Neil's making a pair. You know, we already sent the invitation. He was quick to accept to be ascending. So we have a magically...

created a way for him to get here. He'll be here within like the next probably 15 to 20 minutes or so. However, in the meantime, we really hope that you don't mind doing us a huge favor. We know you're the groom and all, but we heard you was also drag queens and we really want to see

Yeah. I don't know who told you that, but... We have invited everyone, and Mr. Witch and Mr. Light said they would come and watch. That we could even put it on in the big top. Oh! Oh, I just came in for the wedding. It's fine. We're going to have to... I can't wait.

to my identical twin brother, King Shmebulock gets married. When I got the invitation, I was like- - What are you talking about, Quicko? You're getting married. - Oh no! - Can you move the tracker down one, the happiness tracker as the pixies start getting sad?

No, no, no, no. My twin brother is a king. He's very wealthy. Oh, is he? He's royalty. Do you think he would be part of the drag show instead of you? Yeah, no. I think the one you were talking to, he always, he's a prankster. It's like, it's kind of like me old self. Like, I always say, oh, man, what?

King Smebulok, he would go by Gricko. He was a really kind of a mean-spirited prankster who's kind of like a brat. They immediately start like talking amongst themselves and you hear them saying, does he really think that we can't see that he has clearly made this pact with Bixie? I mean, this is ridiculous, right? He's trying to pretend like he's not the person. Doesn't he know that there's a magical aura and glow when you make some kind of a fey pact with him?

with someone and that you can't just lie your way out of it this is ridiculous do you think we should tell it do you think he's cheating on a really think he has a king brother man that would be really interesting my identical twin brother King Smebulek has much wealth and tracts of land and a whole small council complete with master of corn yeah so that's amazing you still have to marry Bixie but do you think that you could bring your

bring your king brother and in and he could do the drag show instead of you because I'm sure she'd like to meet him before the wedding you hear a little bit of chatter do you think that she knows he's got a king brother why would she pick him over the king maybe we shouldn't let him meet oh yeah I can't wait oh I was just joking gosh hey

I'm always known for joking around. Right? Rico, if you need to... I'm known for joking around. Play Rock Arena if you need to. Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo! boo!

*Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Loud laughter* *Light

No, we have to keep everyone happy. It's important that we all- You start to see that they're starting to look really sad as you avoid answering their question. Oh no, no, no! As the tracker starts to go down one more. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I just got a message. Twin powers! Mm-hmm. Twin powers. Oh, yeah, that tracks. That's the thing, yeah. Yeah. He just got to the car. He just got in. He's feeling real jet lag. And he's trying to be a buzzkill and not enjoy. Don't know, just not. So I'm going to go fetch him.

And I might need to make preparations and talk to the flower person and talk to the social media influencer. You mean you got to

all of the stuff that Bixie doesn't want to do. She just writes it down and orders you around and you have to actually deal with it all because she's bridezilling right now. He's going to be doing all of the emotional labor. Yeah, so, but that still doesn't answer our question because we did already invite Mr. Witch and Mr. Light to the drag show, so are you willing to do it? Are you just going to have your brother sub in for you? I'm so busy, I think I'll have King Smebulek

my twin brother, Shmebuloc, come in and I hope that he's very charming. I hope he doesn't sweep you away. I'm always like, "Hey, Shmebuloc, stop stealing my girls!" Wait, so I'm sorry, you're saying that this king, this goblin king, he's single?

Oh, he's looking for a broad, actually. Oh my god, did you hear that? He thinks he's looking for a broad. Yeah, he just got rejected, actually. And his kingdom is certainly not in decline. No, it's not in decline at all! There's no war with any trolls, okay? Yeah, and didn't you just lose your job and hit his debt? Oh, yeah!

- Yeah, but no, I'm kind of finding myself. - Yeah. - You know, I figure like, oh, I can do all the cooking and cleaning while you go work, you know? - Yeah. - You know, and I'll stay at home and you'll say, oh, you know. - Well, then the nice thing is-- - I'll kind of tidy up a little bit, you know. - Once you're married, she'll assume the debt and we can like move her in and help her to pay off for it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We share all of our burdens. - When you're talking about debts and stuff,

We don't even use human money. We're pixies. Oh, well, I'm a goblin. I'm in terrible debt to this guy, Remy. I mean, it's not a big deal. His name is Remy Gourou. He's a horribly powerful voodoo man who runs a whole team. You know someone who's horrible?

Yeah, a home of hundreds of thousands of human gold. Yeah, he's a human though, don't worry. He's not at anything crazy like that. He's still human. Vicar basically doesn't even have control of his soul. I don't even know if he could make this pack in the first place. That's so cool. I can't wait to tell Bixie about that. She's gonna love you even more.

Yeah, and so when you work and we share our burdens all over and around the house and I'll look for a job and you'll say, oh, Greco, have you worked on your resume? And I'll say, I'm working on it. Then you see the rest of the table. He has said that to me many times.

You should see him stack dishes in the sink. Dirty dishes all the way up to the ceiling. It's remarkable the balance he can achieve. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm going to be great. Every time I eat cereal, I always use two bowls. Oh, yeah. And I can't wait when we move in together. I'm going to bring my whole Funko Pop collection.

I mean, we're gonna have a house for them, right? A whole room in our house for them, right? I'm gonna go get Shmebula. I can't wait for you to force us to share our burdens together, especially my dead-too-horrible voodoo man. That sounds amazing. We're gonna go get ready, then. We're gonna confirm with Mr. Witch and Mr. Light that right before the Witchlight Carnival, or the crowning of the Witchlight Monarch, um...

that we're going to go ahead and do the wedding, but that before that even, you're going to put on the drag show because Mr. Light seemed really excited when we told him Frost was participating. And that's happening at the end of the night. At the end of the evening, yeah. So a drag show, a wedding, and then the king, the monarchy? Yeah. Okay. It's going to be a huge event. It's going to be the biggest event. Until then, so I'm going to... Yeah, it's going to be the biggest event.

biggest event of the entire Witch Lake Carnival for like years and years and years and Mr. Witch and Mr. Light are so excited for it. The Pixie King has known so much renown. It's just, oh gosh, I'm getting verklempt.

Oh, also, Amar, I am being fay-packed with you, my rat bride. I'm not your bride. That's not Vixie. I keep telling you, my name is Vixie. Vixie's over there with her mom, Busty. Oh, Rachel. It's so nice. My name's Vixie. Rachel was drunken Pixie that doesn't even go here.

Is she wearing pink, though? I mean, it's a Wednesday. We wear pink on Wednesdays. That's right. Is her pixie named Rachel? Or is it like Rachelixie? No, her name was Rachel. She's not from around here. Oh, that's your mom over there? Yeah, that's Busty. Oh, is Mr. Busty going to be? Is her dad going to walk her down the aisle?

- Well, I-- - No, that didn't end well. - Oh, true. - He can't walk? - It was weird, he walked out of the house once, his legs fused together, he screamed, "My fucking legs!" and drowned in a swamp. - Oh, terrible! You know, that actually happened to me cousin. - One of those pretty wild swamps, yeah. - I mean, I was just in a regular old swamp and that happened to my cousin Legsy. I caught him there before his legs fused together. - Oh, you know Legsy?

I mean, I did know Legsy. Oh, it must be a different Legsy. Our Legsy has legs for days. Oh, no. He had very short legs. No. Legsy has very big legs. Be a scamp today and eat porridge. Oh, no.

*Screams* And he drowned in the swamp. What are you doing? Oh, I mean- Oh! No! We had fun! We thought he was in the swamp! We thought he drowned in the swamp! And he didn't get eaten- His body was not eaten by any hydra. None. And- None hydra. With nothing to eat. *Laughs*

Oh! I wonder why they call him Mother Busty. Anyway. You really wanna watch? She keeps falling over. I mean, she can't even fly! Her wings are the size of Gideon's. No, she spins forward!

Well, that means that we have until the drag show. Yeah. I'm going to go party with my... God's not. God's not. Bachelor party. Bachelor party. Our job is to get Griggo laid as frequently as possible. And then I'll get shnebula. Mr. Light said you have access to the special trunk in the costume closet for your drag show. Special trunk. Yeah. Yeah.

It basically it will procure whatever your heart desires costume wise. It's how he gets his outfit for all of his shows He doesn't let just anyone use that magical costume trunk. So you're really really lucky I would make sure you have an idea of what you're gonna need though. I

Oh yes, I have an idea right away. I'm very excited to get into Mr. Light's trunk. Uh oh. Oh yeah, how long were you waiting to say that? The second she said special trunk, you were like, oh yeah, me too. I'll be the first to speak. Yeah, I'll be the first.

I really want to forage around in Mr. Locke's special truck. Oh, well, that sounds quite nice, actually. Whatever I dream of. Yeah. What we should do is we should go get Smebloc and have him participate in the drag show. Oh, Smebloc is going to love... Well, uh,

plundering Mr. Light Special. Yeah, Shrevy Lock. And the nice thing is while we're doing the show, he's got a much better body. He's handsome. Yeah, yeah. You've been letting yourself go. Oh, I mean, have you heard? I mean, I know the rat snacks are for... Wait, why do I have rat snacks? They're quite delicious. And the oldest of all boys, you kind of, you know, you take your shirt off, you look like a melting bowl of lime ice cream. Yeah.

A little bit of maybe kelo on them. Yeah, we put shmambula on them. Or perhaps a little bit of peppermint. To show for the ages. Contagious diseases, I mean. They're endless. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I did spend a lot of time with Torbeck. It's kind of a goblinoid thing, you know. We're known as disease carriers. Special pigeons, right? Well, we're kind of, you know, we're known as a special kind of gobble plague that only goblinoids can carry. It varies, I think. It's so good to know that...

that Bixie is a candy striper pixie, and that she's capable of really just getting rid of anything. Oh, yeah. So you should tell her everything we talked about, especially my Funko Pop collection. Oh, she's going to be so excited to hear it. She loves Funko Pops. Oh, yeah, okay. Smebulock has a bigger collection on account of being a king. He has a whole castle of them. Why don't you stop talking? And why don't we go? Elizabethan.

This has been a time. Oh, it has been a time. Well, why don't we just do a round of tequila oyster pops before we go to celebrate the time? They're auto pops. Oh, what did I say? Oyster pops? I thought there was probably some oyster pops. Tequila. Tequila. And then oyster. You should continue to spend time in Pixie Kingdom if you want. I'm sorry, but we are going to have to separate your bride from you for a while.

Oh no! Her and Mommy Dearest have things to do before the wedding. My beloved me, me. Bixie. Bixie! Oh! Well, the good news is, like Ross was saying, we have had some planned rendezvous with Yobblog and...

No, you talk to Riata. She's not part of Pixie Kingdom. She works the main con. No, but the idea is that we're going to... It's bachelor's night. We're going to...

What does it do, Frost? Oh, you're gonna hire her services? She's gonna be your dancing girl? Yeah, we're gonna work with you. What else would you do on Bachelorette? We're gonna smoke cigars and laugh as this hole gets written up and down all tripper-like. That is absolutely distasteful, Frosty. I'm... This may be a little premature, but Bixie...

Here's a bread maker. My name is Vixie. No, no, no. I'm giving... Is it too early to give the gift? Frost is me best man. Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, you're my best man. Of course you're my best man. You're my best friend. What about me? We told Neil that he was your best man. He even rented the tux already. We'll tell him when he wants it. He's part of the wedding party until the very end.

Oh, he's going to be so disappointed. He said he's never been asked to be anybody's best man. And he just spent everything that he owns. And it wasn't a lot on getting that tux in those shoes for this wedding. He said he's willing to go into debt for his best friend, Gricko. We're going to give you the best...

Wait, are you the bride? I'm Vixie. The bride has not been here this entire conversation. Rachel doesn't go here. Oh, she's with Busty? Yeah. With her mom, Busty, yeah. Oh, her mom's Busty or your mom's Busty? No, her mom. That's the mother of the bride. Yeah, okay. That's what, that's, yeah. Hold on, I'm going to explain this to you. Yes. Toolbit can be in us. There are.

11 pixies here now that Rachel's gone. This is Minxy, Twixy, Nixxy, I'm Vixy, this is Grixy, Dixy, Taxi. There's Zaxxy, Quaxy, Rixy, and Stixy. Yeah, well, we thought you were gonna hire Taxi to be your dancing girl, but apparently you wanna go with Riata Flaw. Oh, no, no, you can't put Riata and Taxi in the same room. They have a

beef going back years you want to know what Rihanna did she slept with taxis boyfriend and sure a taxi slept with Rihanna's boyfriend first but that's still girl you don't do that no no that's why we're gonna keep it the only picture I could ever be attracted to is my is my beloved Fluffy

Rusty, help. Reaching my brain through the-- oh, okay. Oh god, thank you, you saved my life. As always. That's why you're all me best man, maybe. Depending on how Neil's sadness and tragedy will affect the mood of the carnival. The greater good, Frosty. Neil won't make it through the swamp. That's actually a good point.

The only bitch he can be attracted to is my beloved bitch, B.

Bixie! Bixie! Yes. I can see that you've had too many tequila at a pop, so we're going to go ahead and chalk that up to alcohol. So we are going to procure the services of Laszlo Grigorevich. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm thinking. The Aladrin dancer. Oh, I think that would be much more acceptable than Viada, to be honest. My bride is my...

A thin line of vomit comes out. I can't wait to be committed. We're going to give the best show you've ever seen. I've always liked them short.

Your wedding's going to be great. And not big enough to crush my head with a brush. All right, well. That's disgusting. I think we've said enough here because we as the pixies of, as the pixie party for the bride, you have a lot of fun things to do.

We got a dress. It's rest time. And we've got to get ready for the drag show. We've always wanted to see one. And we can't wait to scream really loudly and not tip nearly enough. So we're going to go ahead and go do that. And in the meantime, we have set aside something special for you guys to enjoy. Really the last bit of Pixie Kingdom. And that is normally Pinecone is available for everyone.

But Pinecone the pug is now exclusively yours for the next bit of time. Now the thing is, Pinecone is a little bit excitable and he only listens to Pixies. But I'm gonna go ahead and escort you so that we make sure Pinecone's fine. And you can do Pinecone rides. He's really fast and he likes to have a good time. So you just hop on his back and ride around for a while.

- Is that the main attraction of Pixie King? - Yeah, it actually is. There is a excitable pug. - In the book? - Yes. - What did you just say? - One character at a time can ride pine cone, an excitable pug that listens only to pixies. - We're very small, so it might be like riding an elephant at the zoo. - Yeah.

Well, I mean, you saw how big Biscuit was. I mean, a pug's like at least eight times bigger than that. Oh, and because we knew that one of your wedding party loves unicorns, we put a cute little unicorn horn on Pinecone, and he's just

Did you say unicorn pug? Yeah, he's a unicorn pug. I love unicorns. Oh, these pictures ain't so bad. I mean, you know, it's kind of nice for guys' night battle party. So yeah, right in the very center, there's a big circular area where Pinecone runs around. You would normally do a ticket punch for something like this, but since y'all are getting married, Pinecone's on the house. We're not getting married. Gregor's getting married. Yes, now I know. Let's be crystal fucking clear, all right?

The three of us, we're single eligible bachelors. How are you? Hi, honey. Hi. So you like unicorns, huh? I do. She snaps her fingers and has a unicorn horn. All right, fellas, we should get going. And, uh...

And I'll very much, you know, after this is done, we thank you. We'll get all of the stuff that she doesn't want while she's bridezillaing. And then I'll finally be able to meet the mother of the bride. We can have a nice cup of coffee with breast milk. I mean breast milk. I mean breast milk. I mean breast milk. I know, I mean...

I mean, breast milk. I mean, breast milk. I mean, I mean, breast milk. I think he's saying the right thing. I think he's saying exactly what it means. Do you mean heavy cream? Plant-based oil and milk is procured from the staffing area. Ha ha ha.

This is man of milk now. It's one of the competition. Have another Otter Pub. Have another full tequila. Oh, no, fellas. Let's go meet Parnco. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Thank you, Vixie. Bye. Vixie follows you, being probably one of the few people in this area that can actually control Pinecone. And you make your way towards the center of Pixie Kingdom. You're walking down a pathway that is lined by the gnarled roots of this large tree as it bursts out of the ground, and it forms a beautiful path.

zigzagging path down towards this, this not small, it's actually quite huge for you now, but it would be very small for you at your normal size. And it is an enclosed space where inside is this rambunctious pug puppy. And it's,

To your normal sizes, it would be a teeny tiny pug puppy. This would be probably the runt of the litter. But in your pixie sizes, this is a large pug.

Its eyes can't quite focus properly as they're kind of not fully... They're moving around a little too much. They're a little more bug-eyed than you're used to. Pinecone is slobbering all over the place, a beautiful fawn pug, as it runs in circles chasing its own tail. You can see where its little paws have...

dug itself a race course inside of this little alcove. And there wouldn't normally be a line of people here. You can see where the line for the ticketing would be, but it is empty. This is now reserved specifically for the groomsmen's party.

for you to enjoy some pug riding. You can ride all at once or you can ride one at a time. It's up to you how you would like to do this. But she calls out to Pinecone and he runs over and wags his tail and slobbers and sniffs and starts licking at her. Incredibly happy to see her as she says, All right, Pinecone, you got to go ahead and sit down. These are your new friends. Okay, you'll be super nice to them. You promise? Yes.

Pinecone snorts and yips and barks happily as his tail wags. His tail is a full curly Q as it wags back and forth excitedly as he looks at you.

- That is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. - The unicorn horn is magically affixed to his forehead. It's difficult to see how, his face is so wrinkly and yet the unicorn horn does not appear to be sitting on top of the wrinkles. It looks like he is a unicorn pug. The magic's done so well to...

to replicate that image. - She's a beaut. - There's one cute pooch. - Oh my goodness. And they transmogrified them just for me. All right, fellas. Should we all ride together? - Let's all ride together. It's guys night. - Yes, let's just all ride together. - All right, well, we're gonna do something really special quickly, all right? If you could just turn and look away.

Okay, I'll let you know I only just met Pawn Coon but if anything happens to him I'm gonna kill everyone in this carnival within myself. Oh don't you worry, we would never hurt Pawn Coon. Okay, I'm just saying if there's some sort of mysterious cloud or ghost or something. No. Okay.

And you all turn away and you hear the yips and happy sounds of a very contented pug. And as you, it takes a minute or so before she allows you to turn back around and you see that Pinecone is now dressed in a small public bath.

a bow tie affixed under his neck and over his back where you'll be seated is four, it's almost like a saddle, but there are four chairs for each of you and a large dressing banner that says groomsmen's party. It's guy's night.

Hey, it's guys now. It's guys, it's only me. I wonder if it says just a couple of fellas on the other side. Oh, it totally does. Oh, yeah, it's a hashtag. It totally does. If you look around on the other side, it says just a couple of fellas. Don't worry, it's ironic. Oh. It's ironic. Man, I wish Torbett could be here. We could have given him a plus one for Clementons. I don't think we could. I think she was a late kidnapper and she was reclaimed. Hmm.

Tragic love story. What did you do with Tormek? He's like, I'm going to get on the fucking bike. Yeah, you're already on the bike. Let's go! Come on, guys! Happy Gossna! Let's go! Frost is a little hesitant.

Oh, come on, Frosty. Seeing your hesitancy, Pinecone... No, but he wants to put on a good show. He wants to be happy. Pinecone notices because pugs are very emotionally attuned animals. And you see as Pinecone moves its face towards you and begins to nuzzle at you. And he's making its...

His attempt almost at a kitty purr, like seeing that you look like a cat. He's trying to calm you as he slightly licks at you and nuzzles you with his nose. At his normal scale, I imagine that you could easily hold him in one hand. But in this reality, it's like the scene where the T-Rex comes up to the fucking window during Jurassic Park. Exactly like that.

Yeah, it's exactly like that. I'm just getting on, Pinecone. It's fine, it's fine. Oh, I didn't know you were so good with dogs, Frosty. He licks you and you are completely covered in dog spit as he licks you from toe to head. Oh, he likes you. Oh, Frosty, your special friend. Oh.

That wasn't fake. Oh, no! I do everything that I can to... Actually...

I have a tabaxi feature. I will cat leap up to my chair and just immediately just . You do, and in this position, he does not have the neck dexterity to reach you with his tongue any longer, and you are safe. Oh, okay. As Vixie looks around and says, "All right, well, enjoy your guys' night, "and congratulations, Griggo, I can't wait for the wedding."

Oh, me too! And she closes the gate and she says something to Pinecone in a language that none of you have heard. A language not of the Fae, but of pixies themselves. And Pinecone immediately starts off on her back. And he runs and runs around the track. I need you all to make dexterity saving throws. Gosh, no! Gosh, no! Pinecone, this out!

Mirage is no Mirage! Oh, Dexterity, that'll be an off seven for Ogreco Grimgrin. 23. Um, yeah, I feel very comfortable at a 15.

Should I twist and get horribly cursed? I mean, it's just hilarious if you do. You won the bet. It's just hilarious if you do. Oh, that'll be a nice 20 for Gricko Grimgrin. I guess I got to roll a d100. It'll distract you from the nightmare. Yeah, exactly. I think we all bet channel points and you were in first, so yeah, well done. That's chat. 54. 54. Is anyone surprised? Hopefully it's nothing terrible.

Mmm. Sexy!

16. All of you are able to make your saves as Pinecone runs and runs and runs and runs. There's really nothing more to this than Pinecone just running in circles around this track. Yeah! But it is, it's adorable and it's amazing and it's cute and it was worth keeping it in this module and in this game. Oh! Hey, Pixies, isn't this the cutest thing? Isn't everyone happy? A little pub.

- And I would say everyone is, especially Cremie. Cremie's joy at this pug, at this unicorn pug raises the happiness meter by one. - Nice. - I'm shooting my glitter fireworks that explode from my cane and then I turn into a sparkly face of a unicorn pug and then shimmer into the night.

- I'll be using, I'll be playing a little tune on my ocarina and spectral mirages will be hopping alongside of us to mimic or to mimic the motions of pinecone. - My eyes will be closed and I'm trying to understand how the mechanics of this beast don't make it immediately fall over.

There were a few times that Pinecone nearly trips over his small puppy legs. He's clearly not as not as lithe as he would be as he ages. He is still getting used to existing. I mean, he's such a small little little scamp. And he gets distracted quite often. He'll randomly stop and just jerk and turn around the other way and start running the opposite direction. Come on, Pinecone! I know we can do a backflip! He's basically just spinning him. We can do a

He's a pug with the zoomies. Oh, okay. Backflip, Pawn Cone, I know you can do it! Yeah! And it is now, Gricko, that you begin to feel lightheaded as something overcomes you. You begin to, your mind begins to shift and warp. And, you know, I can roll for it, but I'm just going to choose who it's going to be. Where Gricko,

You look over at Frost and it's horrifying to you because Frost, this person, you have memories of who this person is, but Frost was never born.

So as you look at Frost, basically what it says is one of your friends was never born, although you retain memories of them. So you don't believe this person here is really Frost because Frost was never born. They're just memories that you have. That's what you got. Good luck. Okay.

And I will say, while you're on the back of this pug that's going very fast, you can communicate and talk about what you're going to do next. Hey, Frosty, you doing okay? I just, uh, I've never been much of a dog person. I'm a can of, I'm a can of can. You saved the feelings! You saved the feelings! Hey, that a boy! You have some nerve, Neo! I'm sorry? Dressing up as me best lad, Frosty,

Well, what do you think? Neil isn't here yet. He's probably drowning. Shut up, Neil! You were always jealous of my friendship with Frosty, and now you're wearing a costume to look and sound exactly like him, even though you know after his legs fused together and he drowned in the swamp. Okay, Frost is dead, not never born.

No, that's not reality, Graco. You're saying falsehoods. You've come under some... Don't marry anyone else. We won't be able to explain it to the pixies. That's exactly something Frigida would say. Mio, you are so cruel.

You're a real son of a bitch. You know, I always, I always, Neil, I never locked you. You never? No, they put us together. They put us together in the muskrat house. And I'm like, ah, this guy seems okay. I remember you telling me all this information. I'm frost right now.

No, you should never be Frost, you should be Neil. I know it sucks, Neil. I remember you told me how he only slept on a mattress and he never had any food. He was very malnourished for a semester. It was disgusting. Yeah, yeah. He never bathed. A lot of lice or some sort of bug. I can't remember. What was the bug thing? I can't remember. No, he had like, he like kept bugs and he was like, oh, it was just ticks.

Yeah, he would like, he was like, oh god, I got more ticks. He would go out into like the bushes and come back like, oh great, I'll pull off all of my ticks. Oh man, he made you pull off the ticks on the vine? Yeah. And then you ate them? Yeah. It was kind of weird. You guys had a really weird and strange relationship in college. Just college stuff. Yeah, just college stuff. It's just guys now. I can't believe you would, you would

You would pretend to be me best lad, Frosty, just because you're jealous of him and you want to be my best man. I don't know how that works. Neo, you are a monster. And I love monsters, but you're not the good kind of monster. I'm going to use a twist of dread. And, um...

I'm deciding whether I wanna change, whether I just wanna make one up for you because it'd be more fun if you started to believe that you were Neil. Yeah, I'm gonna just make one up for you. Do it. As this is happening, as Pinecone is running around in circles and just the inertia of this, your innate fear of dogs, you start to feel your mind drift too as these fey magic start to warp around you. Maybe you aren't Frost. Maybe you are Neil.

Maybe you hate being Neil so much and you love Gricko so much you wish that you were this Frost person that Gricko always admired. Yeah, you're not Frost anymore. You are Neil. You are Neil. What exactly do I need to say in order to convince you that I am Frost?

If you was Frosty, you could talk inside my mind and say what Frosty's favorite meal was. And you can't, Neil. I can absolutely do that. No, you can't. I can too. No, you can't, Neil. I guess I just...

Breakfast? That wasn't in my mind. That was next to my ear. Only you can hear that, I swear. What did he say? He said breakfast. He shouted breakfast. No, I didn't. Neil, this isn't nice. This isn't funny, Neil. You have any idea what's going on here? Don't let them ruin this for me. I'm tuning them out.

- New. - Yeah. I mean, no. Frost, Frost. - Ha! I got you! You've always been a terrible liar, New! - Look at all my things in my backpack. I got all sorts of stuff 'cause I'm a cat and I collect it. Like, look at this yarn I've got.

Yeah, you can't complain that. - Look, yawn! You really think Frosty, the smartest lad I ever met, would carry a ball of yawn around with him just because he's a tiger to backseat, which has some similarities to a house cat? - Smart lad. - That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life, Neil. - Best man and smartest lad? - Neil? - No. - I'm going to tell you something. - No.

I'm so smart, you don't need to tell me anything. I always thought that your Marshall the Scattering deck sucked. I let you win. What?! I let you win when we played Marshall the Scattering. You were the one who drew on my dark road, didn't you? You were the one who scuffed it!

I mean, no. No, no, no. That's fine. I got you. You just admitted it to yourself. I'm a cat. I'm a cat. I'm a cat. Marshall is scattering a dark rose. Your dark rose was very cheap and unfair. I had no other choice, Neil. It was meaningfully important. How dare you lie?

You look me in the eye and say those words. Neil, you cannot be in my wedding party anymore. I invited you out of guilt, okay? Okay? Get off my pug, Neil. Freshman year was the worst year.

No! We're best friends! And I'm going to jump off of the pug going full speed. You are! A naked disparity saving to a disadvantage. Oh, two threes. Seven. You have cut a fail. And you are going to take, let's see, what kind of damage would this do? Because it's not in the book. You know what? It'll be

You're going to take two D8s worth of damage. Seven and five. They don't put what happens if you fail in the book? They don't tell you what happens if you jump off a pug going 40 miles per hour? Yeah, because they don't assume anyone's going to jump off the pug going 40 miles per hour. How can they have not seen this coming? You're going to take 12, 14 points of damage. You're going to take 14 points of damage as you jump from the pug. You feel yourself fall.

falling through the air as you begin to almost hit the ground. But this pug is so fast that it makes another laugh in that time, doesn't see you, slams into you, and knocks you into the fence. You slam into the fence, your body mangled and broken. It's

Spike on. And then he's to run. You're bleeding out. You're horrified. You're scared. This is really dark. All of the pixies are really busy with the bridesmaids party that they don't even notice you in pain. And what are the rest of you doing? My visible eye came out.

That's what you get, Niu! That's what you get for making fun, making light of the dead! That almost KO'd. Just give it time! I mean, come on! Give it time, man! Keep going, Panko! Keep going! You know, I always hated playing Silver Nose with you two!

It's real bullshit to play strange employment opportunity. He's so much shorter than the rest of the characters. You can't hit him. What is this joke? Bizarre employment opportunity.

What? It's cheap to bring bizarre employment opportunity. In silver nose. No, just say it. You suck, Neil! You even look like the last time I saw Frosty. Oh! Hey, Gif! Would you come and push Griggo off the bug? You want me to push Griggo off the bug? I think it was them saving him.

So what's a shove? Well, we'll see if he fails. And if he doesn't. Eleven. Oh yeah, you fail. So you feel compelled to pull a trigger off the bug. Hey, what's a... You want my... Will comply. Cronger will comply. Frankenberry! Cronger will comply. I attempt to shove a trigger off the bug. Cronger.

Well, what do I do? How do I show you? It's an athletics contest against my athletics or athletics and acrobatics. Is athletics or acrobatics for Shove or is it just athletics? I think it's 11. It depends if you would be able to dodge out of the way in this scenario where we're all in the same pug. Yeah, you couldn't dodge out of the way. So we'll do athletics, which is a plus one. Derek, can you please confirm this roll? Gotta give it up.

That would be a natural 20. It's a twist of dread. Gotta give it down. I have to give it a reverse clap. I have to grant a vacuum. Well, you could, I guess, dread me again, but I've got a bit of acrobatics, or it's athletics still, which is a plus one. A 17. 11, so... I'm gonna twist a dread mace. Oh, okay.

No, mine's fine too! That means you have to pick the lower value. Nah, I'm kidding.

Okay, 25. I win. Thanks, chat! I stand up in the seat. Without a word. Oh, Gideon, my new best man after Frosty died. Are you going to make a toast? I fire out my knee with an explosion. With a fiery explosion, I crack Graco in the jaw and launch him clear off the bug. Oh, wow!

Is that a sweet spot? I'm going to hit the blast zone. Roll a dexterity saving throw, please, at disadvantage.

12. That is not enough. As you fly through the air, you feel yourself falling as once again, Pinecone makes his way around and slams into you, unable to control his small puppy body enough to dodge you and flings you directly into Frostmangle's body as he's draped over the ice. Oh no! Oh no!

You toadstool him?

Doing 16 points of bludgeoning damage. To me also? No, not to you. Beat me up, banana, will you? And I just start playing Minor Illusion and there will be a song playing. Always I want to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony. And I'm just going to basically like just listen to the music and like... Always I want to be with you. Small tears will come down my eyes as I'm smiling.

and just living in the moment. - And Grammy's like, "Nobody and nothing will ruin this moment for me." - And I will say with that, that happiness and that joy that you described is so palpable that even with your two friends bleeding out on a fence, a mere 30 feet from you. - I told him to feed him a banana.

The mood of the carnival does go up. None of the pixies notice this is happening. They're all enjoying themselves. There is a hum in the air about this. From this moment, there is a countdown. - Kneel! Kneel! Kneel! Ah, fuck! I'm gonna be so, ah!

Bizarre employment opportunities cheat, you cheater. You fucking cheater. I can't tell you from my mouth. You always complained that you never made it to the final four of any of the martial discattering tournaments and you said they were cheap. You got beat before.

Your dick sucked! Your dick sucked! And that is where we'll end the session. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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