It is Legends of Avantris. I am called Yorneir, and you are listening to Icebound. Here is what happened last time.
The sound of like a bow. - Trip wire? - Yes, you do hear a trip wire. All around you the floor had been covered in some kind of thick, oily substance as it itself ignites and you realize that the sled that you are on is on fire.
And all of a sudden, Scrim, an arrow hits the side of your leg and you look down. There's an arrow in your leg. Take that, ice trolls! We come from the frozen wastes. The wizard lands.
You come from the south? We have met your kind before and they were kind to us on our journey. You know the clan of the Frosthammer? The Frosthammer, yes. Rogerthome, is that where you're from? That is our home, yes. It's a city, a grand city where we all live together under the princess. Some greater threat coming.
attacked the princess was by some metal creature. Oh, that's gotta be a signal. Slow her down. You boop and the handle snaps off. Was that supposed to happen? Oh,
Sled broken. Scrim said that that was supposed to happen. I expand into a giant right now. Do the rest of us die? Formed body of Yorneir crashes and crumbles to the front of it. You're all rumbling and riding. All of a sudden, it starts to tip. It crashes and spills in all directions. You are crushing through houses now. One after the other after the other.
You can see creatures jumping to each side until you come to a screaming hole. Crash! The ice sleds you ride, an ancient behemoth of speed accelerates and collides with a massive wooden gate at the end of its path and the world erupts into chaos.
The air, biting and cold, is suddenly filled with a cacophony of splintering wood, shattering ice, and the sudden startled cries of the creatures on the other side. Bright morning light blinds you momentarily as you hurtle uncontrollably into and through a bustling market.
Around you, structures of dark timber and fur-lined pavilions sail past you. Those in your path are quickly demolished and their contents, a riot of colors and smells, scatter in the wake of your passage. The faces of those you pass are a blur of shock and dismay at the spectacle you've become. The sledge booms forward, unyielding. You plow through the heart of this market, smashing through stalls and narrowly avoiding fleeing people. Clattering metal, shattering pottery, screams.
With a final devastating impact, you crash through the wall of a building at the end of the street. The structure crumbles around you and your companions buried under a jumbled mess. What warmth there was is snuffed out in an instant, replaced by the chill of the outside air and the snow that gently drifts in through the gaping wound in the tavern's side.
As the initial shock fades, the sounds of the market begin to rise once more. What happens next is up to you after you roll 4d10 and take that amount of bludgeoning damage. - Whoa!
Right out of the gate! I'm not even raging! 40, 10... This could in theory destroy my life. TPK us? Yeah. Fun fact, I did the math and there's a 1 in 27,306 chance that this will TPK you. We are not...
We're not doing massive damage. No. Yeah. Fuck no. Yeah. I took 23. Jeez Louise, I'm hanging on by a thread. Oh boy. 4d10. 9. 4d10. Wow. I took 18 points. I actually rolled pretty low. I got 23. 18. You would think I would pull up my character sheet at the beginning and not literally mid-play. I welcome max damage. Here we go. It's 3 or 4d10? 4. 4d10. Oh.
Only 22. Damn. 20. This is when I want to... Wow. Wow. I took the most, because the... What's the other name, Tuck? What's the other name, Tuck? Tack. Tack. He landed on me, and I took 23 points of damage. Tack crushed every bone in my body. I have three hit points.
- Yeah, I'm not looking so hot either, brother. - You all collide with this wall and crashing around you, timber beams slam down. You can hear glass shattering. You can hear the murmurs, the excited shouts of people outside. What are you all doing? - Is anybody dead?
Sound off! Tech alive. I need to check my hit points real quick to make sure. It feels that way. We don't think so. Oh my god. What happened? I don't think we're in the cave anymore. What was the level you were at? Right now, you are in a 10.
what clearly appears to be a tavern. There is a, the sledge has clearly like crushed into the side of it and you can still hear the whimpering sort of whistling sound of the dragon still attempting to blow but you're not progressing with momentum anymore. You are lodged in the side of this lodge and one beam that seems to be holding up much of the center structure has cracked at one side and is
just holding on to the side of the sledge above you, but everything around you is hard to see behind you because the wall has essentially caved in on this side of the building. - Spawning intrusion. We made a wrong turn previous.
It is early morning, so there aren't a huge number of patrons inside of this tavern. As you start to push material off of yourself and start to get up and find order in your body, you're looking forward, and there only seems to be one person. Very far at the end of the tavern, you see looking up, blinking, someone who seemingly just woke in a...
older human man with gray hair like a comb over nearly balding wearing thick robes and he's he picks up a flag and he starts to walk over to the bar to apparently make himself some more ale. Is everyone okay? Did it hurt? Elbow. Somebody check on Queenie. I heard from her. Fine. I'm just laying here under some rubble thinking I'm a lot of choices. I
I'll look up at the man and I'll say, "Where are we?" I'll use my staff to pick myself up. "You're in Argentholm." I'll sort of kind of strain my eyes. "Is this where we intended to go?" "No, you don't know. Is this the Silver Dragonborn capital?"
Yeah, it is, it is. If that's what you were intending to go to, you've found the right place. I'm gonna be honest, I didn't expect to see a human here. Well, you're the only one in the capital city. What? I found myself very much like yourself, sort of crashing into the place. And you just never left? There's not much out there. I figured I'd stay here.
That's probably a good sign, right? They welcomed an outsider and we're all outsid- Sorry about the wall, by the way. First time with a sledge. He's got my tavern and he starts to pour himself an ale and gingerly sip at the top. I will like loose myself from the wreckage, like holding my ribs and like shuffle over to the bar. And when I get up to him, I'm gonna look right up at him, pick up my hand,
place a gold coin on the counter and say, "I'll take one too." Gold. You should be very careful showing gold around here. Really? Why? Something the princess covets. Of course. Okay, well, it's just one and I didn't want to steal it. No. I'm turning into Monty. Of course, of course, of course, of course. You don't understand. The
appearance of gold in Argentholm is, it's not something that's seen. It's mined up by the dwarves, of course, but it's not. This would be like flashing a thousand gold pieces. So I should put it back. Well, I'm about to pay for my drink, and he puts five copper down on the top of the...
I don't have any change. Hold on to that. You'll be in some trouble for the damage you've caused. This might be able to smooth things over. Okay. So how about for now you just spot me some copper and I'll get you back. I'll spot you as much copper as I have for a gold piece. Look, I'm really trying to be a better person here and not steal the alcohol. I'll throw a silver in too. Whose tavern is it?
This is a... You're... You found yourself in the Whispering Hearth, a man named Maw, White Cobalt. There is nothing that can be done. We do not possess the time or ability to repair this. And we are pilgrims. We have no coin. Well, maybe... How much pride did he take in the establishment? How well he had it put together? Ugh.
Most white kobolds join the enforcers. Ma built this place with his two hands. It is his way of honoring the princess. A place where peoples of all the tribes can gather before they head to the market. Look, I know I only have the one, but we'll just give him the gold coin and we'll fix it. We'll make it all better, all right? We only have one coin? Yes, we only have one coin. I'm not sure.
If you do it in private, perhaps, that would be best. People knowing you have gold around here could be quite dangerous. Ah, no worries. I don't mind. I mean, let's be fair. I've been hanging onto that gold coin. It's my lucky coin for a long time. It hasn't done us any good on the rest of Jakar. That may do it.
Yeah, I can hear him now. And you hear a voice from outside: WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh no. I'm gonna very quickly heal myself in case there's any trouble.
The door is kicked in and a flurry of snowflakes breathes in and you can see an enraged white kobold older than the other enforcers that you've met walk in. What has happened? What has happened to my beautiful tavern? We made a minor miscalculation.
Who are you? What are you? No offense, but I'm like leaning on my anchor very horribly. My femur is like snapping and my leg is like holding on. I'm just drenched in blood instead of seawater. Do you know these people?
"No, of course, no, not me." He takes another sip of his ale. This kobold looks at each of you and looks at you up and down and sees that you are not a familiar species to him. He looks at the
broken sledge and all of the damage and you can immediately tell without even having to discern with that much insight that he is starting to look to head to the door to call for help. Hold on, hold on. It was an honest accident. We lost control of the sledge and we ended up in the side of your tavern. If this
if there's any way that we can fix it what the hell were you thinking we weren't we are simple travelers our ship was always bound south of the waste we found the tunnel in the mountain and we found the sledge sled and did not know how to operate it we did not know that it emptied out into a tavern seemingly look what what do you think it would cost to repair it uh just you know speaking frankly
It could take months and hundreds of gold, uh, silver pieces worth of work! It took me all my savings just to build this place! Alright, well, let's all just calm down, and maybe we can come to a solution. You left quite a scene out there! Was anyone killed? I didn't see anyone killed, no. I will make sure.
I wanted to sort of walk through the carnage and just see if anyone's lying there dead or wounded. When you peek out through the door and turn, you can see the two runner...
like sledge rails that led through the town and straightened it as an arrow eventually coming to this spot. In the chaos of everything that unfolded and as you guys were pulled through, it wasn't as though the doors were here and the tavern was just outside and in front of the door. You went hundreds of feet. And so you crash through stalls. You can see people picking things up. Make a perception check for me. 27.
26. 26. You can see that most people who are getting up and dusting themselves off, you don't see any of the signs of someone looking over a body or screams of someone having lost their friend or anything like that. It seems that mostly you're staring at angry vendors who are
are picking their things up and looking at, following the line of the railing, the rail tracks, and seeing they starting to pick themselves up and come your way. A crowd is gathering. - We should leave right away.
I'll also add with a 26 that you see a mix of different peoples. This is not all kobolds. You see many kobolds. That is clearly the dominant, at least in this marketplace, race in this particular section of the city. But you also see
really massive, bald, gray-skinned creatures. Goliaths. You see shorter, dwarven people with massive, braided beards. You see orcs. You see even a tall minotaur, taller than you, 10, 11, 12 feet tall, hulking and shambling in all directions. They seem to have come here for not unique or exotic creatures,
This was a marketplace for butchery and for raw goods and these sorts of things. So even though ceramic pots and things lay crash open and stuff like that, it's as though this was a place where people were buying their morning produce or looking to haggle. Yonah, Yonah, I'm making this right. I don't want him to call the guard.
I don't want to end up in jail again. All right, please, let's divide and conquer. Maybe you guys just deal with the crowd and let me talk to him privately, just for five minutes. - Where's the nearest healer? I'll stumble over to you. - I can try to help. - And I'll use Cure Wounds on you as well. How's Queenie looking in Taishan? - I'm pretty, I'm pretty.
I have, I think, three hit points. I'm fucked. I have three. I only look slightly better than Barnabus. Yone, we just destroyed his entire establishment. We can't just leave. Trust me, I can fix this. I stare directly at you. That's only three feet to your right. Ten to you, and thirteen to you. Yes! You can give me the thirteen. What'd he say? Second level's first level. Yes. Do what you need to, and...
I will help. Also, cast cure ones. My name's Mr. Yorn here. You'll all stay exactly where you are. Don't move a muscle. We're not going anywhere. I didn't catch your name. My name is Scrimstabiscotch. Ma. Ma, it's a pleasure to meet you. He doesn't take your hand. Oh, uh, okay. Do you have an office or a back room somewhere we can talk privately? We live upstairs. We would be able to speak there, but...
Fear might crash down upon us at any moment. Why don't you pour a couple of ales, me and you, and we'll have a quick chat. I think we can fix this. Come to some kind of agreement. Does the pillar that's wobbling but holding things up, does it look like it could be stabilized with, like, honey web? Um, the...
What would have been like a large center beam has cracked it completely in two. So one side is completely flattened against the floor of this. I don't know what we're listening to. I'm going to switch over. Horrifying. You know what? Why not?
It has completely flattened against the floor, and the top side, you just happened to collide fast enough that it didn't collapse in this way. So in order to put it together, you'd have to find some way to get underneath it and get the sledge out from underneath it. I don't know if Honey would be able to hold those two big things together. We could find out depending on what you're mechanically attempting to do. Oh, no, it's okay. I was picturing it differently. Okay, I just wanted to make sure that was clear. Make a persuasion check.
Perhaps the rest of us can get this sled thing out of here. Pack will help. Eighteen. Eighteen. Of course, a mail before the rest gets here and we'll have a quick chat. Great. Lead the way. He sidles around. He immediately goes into bartender mode, amazingly pulling out two flagons, filling them out with ale and slamming down the drink.
And I'm hoping that there's just enough privacy to talk to him so that the other patron, that elder gentleman, doesn't hear what we're talking about. The elder gentleman seemed to have picked up already on what you were doing, Savvy. And he has sort of walked over and is sort of looking through the cracks of the destruction at the street outside as people are assembling. Listen.
I'm gonna be honest with you. Just like Bonobo said, we've been here in Jakar for a long time. We were stuck in the ice. Our ship got stuck in the ice. It went down. We've been trekking, pilgrimaging for months. It's been a long time. We came here with a lot of gold and we very quickly learned that it didn't do us any good. So we got rid of all of it. It was nothing to do with it. But where did you get rid of it?
Various points in the ice, the water. The sea. Dumped it into rivers. It's scattered in the depths. Near, near, near Ardendom? No, hundreds and hundreds of miles away. The other side of the spine? Oh, easily. There, other places here, there, you know, wherever we've been, right? It was too heavy to carry. There was nothing we could do. We needed to carry food. But I kept two gold coins. They're my lucky coins.
And I'd be willing to part with them if we could make all of this just go away. I have under the impression that gold's pretty valuable around here. You'd be right. Two gold pieces, you say? It's the last of it. When you think about the gold that's on your person, these coins are maybe...
So big, right? Maybe a little bit larger, like a silver dollar in our world. And you're thinking about them jingling around in your pouch. And the way that he responds physically, emotionally to just, you know, in your corn purse. I have 93 of them. I know. You're thinking about all of them. And the way that he responds to two, he looks around and you can already feel with your intuition that that might already have swayed him.
Reasonable, right? I don't have any use for them. Like I said, they're just lucky. I was only holding onto them for sentimentality. Two gold pieces. But! This all goes away. This all goes away, but you can't... We don't want to talk about it, right? Just keep it between you and me. It's a sign of good faith. It was an accident, and I feel bad. It's just the kind of person I am. Scream, scabberscotch. You have a deal.
Okay. And then I go into my jacket to make it look like I am...
like cutting a seam to get them out of where I might have sewn them into my clothing. Nice, nice. So if I need to make a sleight of hand check, I'll happily do that. You need to make a sleight of hand check because I'm presuming that these pieces of gold were with other pieces of gold. Yes. Yeah, very much so. So it is not just a question of where did this gold come from, but endeavoring to keep silent. I would like to bolster my already incredible sleight of hand a little bit. What do you guys think?
Yeah. Reasonable? Yeah. Can I add three to my roll? Let's add three. Thank you, Chad. Thank you. Thank you, Chad. That will be a 26. Oh! It is! So I almost, like, reach in and then, ha-ha, ha! And then I, like, make them basically appear out of nowhere. His eyes are glazed over. You realize that you almost didn't need to go through the effort. As long as it had been muffled, his eyes are already looking at the transformation in his life. Like, this is bigger than the tavern to someone like that.
And before you know it, you know that you have two coins in your hand without distraction. And then I will quietly slide them to him and say, remember, they're lucky. As soon as you reveal your hand and pull your hand away and he sees the two gold pieces, he hides them away. It is good doing business with you, Scruton.
You said you came from afar? From somewhere else? With all this gold, where did you come from? Entirely different continent. I mean, we are all from different places. Other continents other than Drakkar, you know. Well, you are always welcome to have the Whispering Heart once I get these repairs done. Awesome! Thanks for the ale.
He puts his ale down and then he immediately goes and grabs a broom. It's like almost as if he's in a trance, picturing some other life. He's starting to put the tavern back together. All righty. And then I'll return to the rest of the group. I think we're all right. Maul's not such a bad guy after all, eh? He's okay with the tavern? Yeah. Fixed it all up.
Well, great! There is an angry crowd descending upon us. Well... We have mere moments. We can get away, but... Let's get out of here! Yeah, let's slip away, but Ma, you know, he doesn't hate us. You almost sent the sledge out, though! And I have my palms firmly pressed against the side of the wall. Tack will help! Tack be alive and give us an ear! Make an intelligence check, anyone pushing the sledge. Not me! Uh-oh.
- Oh! - Six. - 11. - 19. - Taishan, as you are pushing, Tak at one side, Barnabas, Yornir at the other, you're starting to push the sledge back and out, and you are the one who notices that the beam that is holding up most of the center and roof of this tavern starts to grind against the top of the sledge. Should the sledge be pushed out from underneath it, you suspect that perhaps more building will come down upon you.
We have to leave the sledge where it is! It's keeping the building up! Tack will push! No, no, no! Tack, no! Tack will not push. That sounds better. If we move the sledge, the whole building will come down, maybe. I'm no architect.
Well, let's... If there is an angry Maul coming, we'll let Maul explain the whole thing away. We'll find some place to lay low. This isn't our problem anymore. Get our bearings, so to speak. This isn't our problem anymore. The problem's been taken care of. Let's go. Let's get out of here. Let's go with what Yornia said. Let's leave. All right. Uh...
I will, I guess, can I just peek out, like, behind the sledge and just sort of see what the situation looks like? And the time that has passed during Shroom's conversation and everyone endeavoring to work the sledge, the crowd has assembled. You can see that people are looking, whispering angrily to each other.
There are vendors who are holding what's left of perhaps what they brought for the day against their chest, and shops are starting to emerge. The only reason that they haven't stampeded into the tavern is because of a lone kobold standing there,
I will figure it out! I will figure out what the problem is, we'll figure out why this sledge crashed into it, if there really is anyone in there even! And this spear-wielding kobold will start to trot around to the side, sort of placating the mob for but a moment long. Does it look like he's a guard, like a town, some sort of law enforcement? Very much. Okay. And how tall are these kobolds, roughly?
I would say that it varies. Someone like Ma might be about the same height as Scrim. Others might be slightly taller. This one seems to be on the taller side and seems to wear a small cape and some armor with a sense of authority. And have I seen any Dragonborn at all? No, you've not seen a single Dragonborn. I agree we should leave. We have mere moments.
Hey, Ma! We need a bit of a smoke. Is there a back exit? Can we get out of here? Can we slip out the back? Yes, there's a back exit this way. Alright, you heard the man, let's go! You missed your fire blossom. I'll nod, and I'll follow Scrim. We hustle, and we slip out the back. You hear another voice, and Tak is stomping behind you. You really have no idea what you're doing, do you guys?
And it's the poet. This gray-haired, balding gentleman has finished his ale, and he's calling at you just one more time before you leave. Nope, and we were never here. See ya. There's a smaller... Well, okay, goodbye. And you start to head out. As you press through the back door, you come across a not foggy sight, but there is very much a...
sort of icy sheet that hugs the ground, almost like thin clouds that stick to the ground, this aura of cold in all directions. And the back of the site, you can see that there are more market buildings on your left, on your right. This is very much a backend
alley but from this vantage point you can see that it continues to swim down to a massive lake and at the center of that lake just in the distance where visibility ends you can see a huge island upon which there is very evidently a large keep or castle. Where you guys go? And this is all underground.
You are, no no no, you burst through the doors, you are above ground. The moment that you burst through the doors, you crash out of the equivalent of the gate portal that would have been on the other side of the mountain. You are, the spine, if you turned around and you were able to look up, you would see mountains. Oh wow. I did not make that clear.
We need to find a place to lay low, to come up with a plan to see where we are and what the danger is. Yeah, agreed. We should also try and blend in. Maybe some clothes or something. We should pull up our hoods and remain inconspicuous if we can. What? I don't wear much clothing. We don't have anything. He's barely got pants. Take my tent and I throw you my tent. I'll grab it. I'll take a rope and tie it around.
I look like my fucking Sarnax costume. Oh, glowy sleeves with the hood. I will sort of pull up a hood and... Well, we all have winter clothes, right? I think at least most of us. And I would try to sort of keep it low, covering my face...
and scramble just sort of out of view to get a lay of the town or city. Why don't I draw a map? Yeah, let's do it. Take a quick minute, Laird. The blue pen of indication. Alright. Wow. Thank you. It's the lake. Yeah.
I also do have three silver pieces, just so you know. No way. What you did was you crashed through a gate and headed down and crashed into a tavern here through what was very much a marketplace. Like so, right? And so when you are...
So, aside from this building here, you are looking at the back now at this massive lake. And it seems to sort of go upwards in its... Oh god. What's the word I'm looking for? I can't think of anything.
It seems to be going-- A slope? Yeah, slopes upwards. So even though this goes down, if you were to come down here, you would actually meet the lake. There's almost like rising cliffs that get taller and taller and taller. Oh wow. You can see about here to a large keep that is at the center of this island. And you can see all the way up to that visibility that there are perhaps
huge districts that would wrap all around here making these um making a city I have just one question it's been called Argentine is your favorite painter Georgia O'Keeffe that's very funny so it's sort of like so the chief is on the lake yeah exactly right very cool very cool
Do we feel like we're in a valley? Like a caldera? Like a... Ooh! A caldera. Careful of the camera, Darryl. I'm getting very nervous. What's that? Careful of the camera. Um...
Looking south, you suspect that there is probably a forested area in this direction, and you can see very clean... You can't see very far behind, like, buildings and everything. It's unclear if this is flat tundra or anything along those lines. What you do know is that the spine, the mountains, are directly behind you. And what about over here? The visibility stops here. This would all be... Oh, I see, like cliff. I see. Exactly right. Oh...
Um... Hey, that's cool. Look, if we need to find like an inn or something, we- I got a little extra coin, you know, that I can throw around a little bit here. And if this gold is as valuable as we think it is, especially the way old Maul reacted, I'm gonna have these idiots eating out of my hand in like six hours. It's gonna be crazy.
we should find some place to rest for the night. You're not worried about word getting around that you're giving gold out to multiple people? No, nope, nope, because Ma thinks that I gave him the last two pieces. Right, but if someone else comes in with gold and they say they got it from the little green fella. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, I got a plan. I have many plans. Oh boy.
Oh boy, I can't wait! And you guys made fun of me for holding onto all of them! What's your plan, though? I'm gonna come up with them as we go. Oh. You ready? Okay. Those are the best scrim plans. Boy, those are quite the good plans, eh? It's like the old days. Well, we have two ways to get up to the keep. We could take the... Do we know which way is north and south?
I guess I would know which way Mesa's north. You innately know that Mesa's north. That's what I thought. Um... Yeah. If we intend to parlay with the queen, we need to get up there once we are rested and ready. To get there, we need to go either on the north side or the south side of the lake. Based on what we can see, do you have a sense of which side might be more hospitable? Or perhaps you, Taishan?
Giant step. Yeah, I was going to ask her. Friend Tack, how long have you lived in this city? Only a short time. Like a few hours, right? That's right. Good lad. Good lad. I like that. But what is giant step? Giant step. And he points out, and he's pointing at the most northern district there. This one. That's the name of that area? Ogre's taking it.
Oh! Is it nice? Is it nice? Is it niiiice? Ah, he doesn't seem thrilled. Is it hospitable or is it the prison district? Are the humans there too? The vassals? Don't know where vassals went. Are you saying that by what that gentleman said, that would imply that the vassals never made it to Urgenal? Yeah, that guy said that he's the only human.
Is he lying? He said he was the only one who lived here. Maybe he didn't mean the vassals. Or maybe they took them elsewhere. They arrived recently. When Tak brought here, all went to Giant Step. Then we are split up. And I go to caves with Kobold. But most stay behind with Goliaths.
I'm saying... This is the right direction we go. We should rest in Giant's step. We find any more of those little... sniveling cowards that we encountered in the tunnel. We should get ready to cave their skulls in. I don't want to call it a scene, but...
I don't think we should be caving anybody's skulls in inside of a city. We can't go back to jail. That's what we were just preventing. Well, if you've got gold in your pocket, Mr. Stabitskull. Which I don't. But if... I'm very confused.
Do you have gold or not? You need to keep your voice down, Barnabas. Nobody has any gold. It's crazy rare here, Barnabas. I didn't realize you threw away all the gold pieces. I was going to be saying good thinking. You watched me throw them all away. I had a change in growth of character. I turned over a new leaf, you big buffoon. We should listen to Queenie and stop speaking about this. I'll be staring at Scram and the Leap Puffs and smoking them, and I'll be like...
Aye! That's true, Mr. Stabiscar. Joey did see you throw it in the lake. It's all on the bottom of the ocean. The lake? Or the ocean. Whatever, river. It's in your new system. A large, vast body of water. Only the bikes will be enjoying that gold. Zach like gold. Gold, gold, gold. A lot of people like it. You know, it's a popular thing. Crazy. I'm concerned about Taishen's appearance here.
No, he's like made of gold. Oh, wouldn't it be crazy if they ripped him apart? Whoa! Whoa! Holy smokes! Whoa! Screw them all!
Mr. Saviskot! I mean that he's a dragonborn. What the hell does that say? No, but I actually think Scrim's got a point. What if they think that each one of your scales is plated in gold and they start ripping all your scales out? Whoa! That would be awful to watch. I'm not saying I want to do it. I'm saying what if they do? What do you mean awful to watch? You wouldn't step in? It would be...
I don't want to get torn to pieces. Well, so, that's actually a very valid point. Mr. Fireblocks... Does it? I know that you have golden scales, but is it actually literally gold, or is it more of a draconic high that you have?
and that they wouldn't be tempted to flay you alive and trade your skin as a great treasure hoard. Well, Barnabas, I've never taken my skin to a jeweler and asked them what the value of it was. Your scales are not made of stone. It is flesh. It is the appearance of gold. But if they have a problem with Dragonborn, given the history of what we know about this city, there could be a problem.
We needed a skullies! Yes. What do the kobolds look like? White kobolds. They have draconic-like features. They're not... they're a little more gangly than the gold dragonborn that you remember from home. They have these sort of long faces. They're almost like if you could put a Tyrannosaurus Rex head onto a skeletal body. Do they have scales?
Let me answer that lorally. Ooh. Yeah, lorally. They do have scales, right? These are the frosty kind. I also have a question once I show this, I'll ask questions. Do they, last question. Do they shed the scales? Sure. Yeah, why not?
How many of us, and I won't speak for anybody else, so Scrim, I guess, would Scrim have any knowledge about dragons in general and their colors and what that means? Metallic versus. I would say make a history check. Yeah. I'm expecting the answer to be no, but I wanted to ask...
Scrim's been around. Oh, it's an int check. 18. Ooh! With my plus one int pros. How about it? Int pros, int pros. Even if it's just a little bit, like, you know, may have heard something, right? I wouldn't say it's vast knowledge or anything. No, not intimately vast, but you do get a remember a tavern tale that you heard once, and the claims, obviously, every time you hear a story about dragons, it's one of creatures of tremendous power.
Even at a young age, they're formidable. But the idea that there are different types of dragons and that the ones in sort of the metallic direction and the ones that go in the more chromatic direction being...
more akin to and aligned with good versus akin and aligned to evil was something that was suggested. And it was partly reinforced because often, and this isn't always the case, that perception of dragons gets applied to Dragonborn, perhaps unfairly. I am smiling and kind of giggling to myself while picturing Taishen being plucked for all of his scales. And then I say, oh!
Oh no, I get it when you're saying he's a metallic dragon and these are white kobolds, I understand. Yes. Ah, we do have a problem. Yes. Aye, that's true. How do we give you a bit of a disguise, Mr. Filler Blossom? Oh my god, it would be so cool if we could paint him silver. White. I can't keep on this straight. Yeah.
Oh, you don't have any paint? Well, neither do I. And even then, if there was just like a white dragonborn walking around, he was the only one. He'd stick out like a sore thumb. Boy, that's true. Well, I could hunch a little and keep my hood up and maybe they'd think I was a kobold. You hear a sudden loud shouting voice and it seems to be coming at the door that you just exited.
Hey! Mala, you fucking liar! There are five people right back here! They're clear the scene! Oh no! Giant step? Giant step. Jesus! Giant step! They sprint! And I'm like totally on tack to get them to follow us and run. They're all away!
I fucking just sprint. Okay, you guys start dashing and you start making your way, but with no sense of knowledge of this district. It would be like being dropped into the middle of a city and making arbitrary choices. Do you go left? Do you go right? Who's leading the way making these arbitrary choices and trying to decide whether they are going down the first alley that you happen to turn from or the second?
My thought is that if there's buildings and alleys and we sort of can't get our bearings very easily, I would probably be leading. Just trying to kind of triangulate. You know, like if you're driving in a city that has really shitty roads, but you roughly know you need to get over there. Yeah. I'm just trying to take all the turns that I can to head north. And you have an innate sense of what north is, right? So you start to head down and down and down. And all of a sudden...
um yeah i need you all to make go ahead if it's possible if we feel like things are tight
and like, things or people need to be moved, I would be like following your near's lead, but I would, if there's like a crowded thing, I will barrel through, not trying to cause any damage, but like if there's crowds or whatever, we're not gonna get stopped by like a crowd like, oh wow, look at those pods, those are really nice. Like, I will make sure that I am elbowing or shouldering our way through the crowd, but making sure that your near is able to guide us. It is, uh,
not in any of the alleys that you run into a crowd and you're near, I would imagine, endeavors not to lead you into one of the walking streets where there would be a group of people. Go ahead and make, what would be a good, you're being maybe chased and you are endeavoring to get away skill check. Acrobatic? Maybe like a stealth, a survival and a...
- Acrobatics or athletics as far as how quickly we're getting one in. - Yeah. - Or like getting through the city. - I'm just thinking of like Aladdin running through the streets. - And then like a stealth and then deception if you wanna do like kind of a skill challenge thing. If it's just one roll. - Let's go ahead and do a, let's start with a survival and a stealth check. - Group? - Yeah, let's go group. - Oh fuck. - All right, my survival's gonna be this guy. My stealth is gonna be this guy.
I'm gonna use my two best dice because I don't want us to fuck up. We don't have any fucking twists. Oh, this is rough. I should have... Yeah, okay. This matters now. Holy hell. Survival is not good. But stealth's okay. I have a huge plus to survival, but... Yeah, I don't. You're good. Eleven on survival. Two threes. Oh, God, that's bad. My stealth is... Fuck, where did it go? Come on, come on. Six for stealth.
I have 15 on survival and 21 on stealth. I have 5 on survival and 15 on stealth. I have 19 on survival and 12 on stealth. What were yours? 5 on survival, 15 on stealth. 12 survival, 14 stealth. Okay. That's everyone. Oh wow. You have mine. No.
That's everyone. I don't have yours. Oh no, no, no, I got yours right at the beginning. Six and 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, six and 11. Those were the two Xs that I made first. Yep, yep. Uh-oh. Yikes. Oh no! You all start to follow your near, and you are making your way farther and farther to the east, and he is trying to find that northern passage, the way to get perhaps cut through,
Awful. You turn down one alley and you can see people walking back and forth, perhaps a little bit farther down. You turn around, you guys all bump into each other, endeavoring to keep up, just stomping back behind you. You turn down another street and you continue for a little farther until you finally turn left. And there again, you see in front of you
a group of people carrying baskets, having wagons being drawn through this busy, full city. And it doesn't seem that you are finding any passage. You're just continuing to get closer and closer and closer down to the lake. As you do, you are all noticing that the buildings are not worse and worse shape, but not as kept up.
What would have been the top of the market was clearly where the nicest of taverns are. You're getting into the worser and worser neighborhoods, and there's this stench that starts to hit you. As you get closer and closer to the lake, it's this almost...
burned smell, this sort of like eggy smell, almost like sulfur hits you, but it's sour in a way that tells you that it's not directly sulfur.
But you do not find a way to get north. You just continue down this path and you can get a sense that you may have, for now, lost the people who you initially dashed away from given your immediate jumping into sprint mode. But you are still very much alone and isolated in the back alleys of this market area. While we're doing this, we're singing a show tune.
Okay. And we each have a verse, but we all join in for the chorus, and there's not enough run time for TAC, so he doesn't... He has like a comedic one-liner here and there. That's too bad.
We just met you. You are very disposable, Ty. It's at this point that you've essentially reached a dead end. You know that you would have to reach the actual edge of the lake and perhaps go across the ice.
ice if it was frozen, or dig into one of these buildings and go through that way, or find some way to hide, because none of the allies have been fruitful in your search to try and get out of this neighborhood in the immediate. Do any of the buildings look abandoned? Make a perception check. Ooh! Okay. Good call. Meh. I got an eight. You can try a shitty guess and just
bursts through the back door of one of these residences, marketplace vendors. You're not sure. It's hard to tell from the back. We gotta find someplace to lay low. We've all been saying it. Just a place to hide, for now. Without breaking any local laws, if we could find some kind of inn or tavern around here and get a few rooms. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So does it feel like there's this very intentional wall
between the... No, no, I mean those delineations to give you a sense that they're clearly like you're in the market district and then there's a district over here. The actual... It's not like there are walls that would be up. Okay. What you've been doing is avoiding large groups of people.
if you want to just chance it and just walk right out into a tree i see i've got enough silver where i think we can just you know it won't draw suspicion it's not the gold and then we just use the silver we can we can get a couple of rooms you know and and and then we'll be good we'll lay low all right but we just gotta find one well do we just knock on doors and say hey we're weary travelers and we need a place to lay our heads down have we seen any signages we're running through this and is it all like intraconic or is it in common
Good question. The few times that you've seen signs peering into the sort of more populated area of this market, the signs both have a common, a draconic, and a symbol indicating that this might be a blacksmith or this might be a ceramic person or a glassboy. Look for the one with the bed! Look for the one with the bed!
Wait, would it be a bed? It's a little on the nose, Mr. Staple Scotch. I saw him with a hammer in his hand, Bill. I was putting it on the nose. Do I like it? No, I either say it's true. We will look, or I will look, for either like...
Maybe it would be several stories presuming like providing an end So anything that would be if it has like a flag in there like you can get a drink here if it has multiple stories I'd consider that perhaps an opportunity of having BNN. It takes you five or ten minutes. Um, make a survival check for me. Me? Mm-hmm. Plug!
23. Oh, shit! I forgot. You have stopped running. It's been a long enough time that you think perhaps you've lost the people who were immediately hurt by your entrance to the city, and you walk sort of down one of the alleys to one of the
these streets and you peek down and out and you look for a two-storied building and sure enough, just a few buildings down, there is one that looks more like an inn to you than a tavern.
And this, you can see the sign out front does in fact have a bed on it, but it is pierced with a feather quill and underneath it says "The Quiet Quill" and you envision that that is probably the, a place where you would be able to find a place to rest for the night. You're right, Mr. Sabascotch, it is a bed! Right over here! I mean, over here, over here. And let me just do the talking, all right? All right.
I will... I still have the giant anchor on my back and I'll just try to wrap it in like... I guess you have a pretty big tent. I'll try to cover it in the... I'll be like a horrible hooded abomination as I walk. I'm very awkwardly shaped as I walk. I'll be behind everyone. I'll pull my winter clothes around as well and try as hard as I can to not let any of my golden scales show.
Um, I would need a group performance check to walk across the street to see how noticeable you are. Oh boy. Well, you know what? Or deception. Oh! That does not...
Oh yeah, it's not even close. I'm good. I got a plus eight instead, so I'm gonna take that. 22 for me. 23. 11. 13. Three. Uh-oh. There's no hubbub, but you feel eyes on you as you walk across the street and make your way onto the equivalent of a sidewalk in the city, and you start to walk forward. Um...
You start to walk down and you can feel the eyes are not just on you, but also on Tak. And you get to the entrance of the quiet quill when you hear a voice. What do you bring Ogre here for?
And you turn and you can see this massive Goliath is looking at the backs of the five of you and pointing, clearly referencing Tak. Why did we bring the ogre? Oh, the ogre! Oh, yeah, he's... Do you turn to face him? Yeah, he's lost. What creature are you? I'm a goblin. Goblin in the city? Why, what...
Goblin? You're never gonna believe it. I'm lost too.
I will approach him and step in front of Scrim, and I will lift my hood, and you will see that instead of orange hair and like a blue fur, I now appear to have gray skin with black hair that is now braided similarly with tattoos similar in his style using my innate fey ancestry to cast Disguise Self. Okay. And I'm going to appear as a Goliath
And in giant, I will say, these are my employees. What is goblin? It is an exotic creature that I have found in my many travels. I am a traveler, a pilgrim through much of Drakkar and this ogre was gifted to me. You come from tribe from beyond Argenton? Yes, I do.
From very far, and I have collected a band of travelers and mercenaries, you could say. You found them from outside of city? Yes, I did. And why are you here with them? With an ogre? He should be in training camps, should he not?
I have connections inside the city and I needed additional muscle as you can see at a certain point it's screaming Queenie We can't understand it so I'm just like smiling like... Yeah, yeah Uh-huh, uh-huh I pulled some strings and I was able to call in a favor and so we are here on important business that I cannot elaborate on What is...
- Your name. - What would I know of either Goliath names or in general giant, giant cultures? - Make a, at disadvantage because you are unfamiliar with, what you know of Goliaths in the north may be very different than it is in southern Drakkar. And so your,
idea of what a Goliath might name itself or others in a tribe from your experience might be very different. So, yeah, make a history check at disadvantage. Oh, let's fucking go. Who needs twists? I rolled an 18 and a 19. Woo! Let's go! So I plus one, that's a 19. Bravo. You...
What was the full number? 19. 19. Okay, let's go. That in giant, most folks refer to Goliath by the sound of the giant kin name. So in giant, it would be something really badass sounding like.
Grimblood or Rumblefist. But at the end of the day, what people in common would call them would be something like Grimgar or Torvald or something along those lines. I had a name in mind. Before you even open your mouth, I'm going to stick to it. I love that. My name is Grimnir. Make a deception check at advantage. Well done. That's pretty good. At advantage? Yeah, that's pretty good. Notch up to a 15 if you're not there.
I should have called the twist, but it's too late. Wait, we can call it, right? Or we have to call it before we roll? That's what we discussed. I thought it was just before we knew what the DC was. Before we knew if it was pass or fail. Oh! Like advantage. That's a little easier. Like it's all advantage or disadvantage. It's a bit easier. It's up to Derek. Regardless, I believe it is a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think it's a plus zero. I don't know.
Yeah, it's going to be a 12. So if you were going to allow me to use three twists, I will. Otherwise, I should have called it. Do you want us to call it before we roll? I will allow it this time because we hadn't made that super clear. But I would like it to be called before because otherwise you can be like, what's the next divisible by five DC thing? Oh, that's fair. And it becomes this weird game. That's fair. So, yeah. I will pull. I think. What do you think? Should we use it?
Use them. Okay. That's pretty much it. That's really bad. You deserve it. Yeah, come on. Hey, chat. Sometimes chat tells the story, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly right. Heard that. So you get a total of 15? 15. 15. One moment. I feel good about that number. Me too. It was a 33, you needed it. Oh my god! You don't know what's inside this.
Grimnir was my cousin's name. I am Torval. Strange creatures you have in your company. I understand why you did not bring them to the giant steppe, but when you get back to the Legion, you'll find me at the Grub Shack.
and we talk about what you have seen beyond the walls. - The Grub Shack. - ♪ We can eat together ♪ - Is that near the hub? - Is that a little grub place? - Is this a place for little grubs? - He holds his hand out like this.
in some sort of a gesture of brotherhood or camaraderie. I'll do the most obviously, like, strong, macho, badass thing that I can think of in response. I'll, like, grab his hand, you know. Whatever, like, uh, whatever I think I would do based on the position of his hand. Make a insight check. That's pretty good. That's fucking good. That's pretty good. You're on fire.
It's the scene from The Predator. Oh yeah! 100% Dylan! 23. Yeah. 23. You start to go in to clasp his hand and feel his hand start to go to the wrist and in that moment you realize that you need to do one of these. Oh, easy.
And with that tense social situation cleared, he pushes through and past Tak and sort of gives him a hard look as though he isn't where he should be before leaving the six of you alone there in front of the quiet quill. - Holy crap! What happened?
Let's get inside. Okay, alright, come on! I am Grimnir from now on, do you understand? Okay, come here, come here. And we usher everyone into the quiet quill. It's only one syllable difference, easy to remember. Isn't that right, Tack? Huh?
I think we gotta kill him. Bad news, guys. We gotta kill him. I don't say that. I don't say that. I look very, like, concerned at Scrim directly. And I go in. You walk inside and... As we're going inside, I'm gonna make an effort to actually separate the gold from the silver. Because it's three silver pieces. Okay. And, because I know I'm hopefully going to only need to use...
Maybe one or two silver, right, to get some runes, we'll see. I don't know about them. Right here. You do that, and I think that it wouldn't be difficult, because once you enter, you can see that this is a very dark space that you enter. The light coming in through the windows doesn't illuminate very much, and there clearly haven't been any fires lit or candles. It's quite cold. And so you walk in, and this space seems to be totally empty. There are a few tables,
and for what looks like an eatery, some sort of a place where you'd be able to get a meal, but it doesn't seem like a place where breakfast is served. So without anyone to greet you, you walk into a completely silent space.
You work for me. Yeah, oh, oh, sure, of course. I mean, I basically do anyway, let's be real here. But if you're gonna need to take the lead, just, you know, let them know that we have some silver. And try to talk them down as low as you can. And if, you know, get them to speak common, and I'm happy to, like, you know, pretend, like, just order me around, I'll do whatever, cut!
You do the talking. Just let them know that I am in charge. And like, you'll look up and like, my face is super grim. And like, I, this appearance, I'm totally missing the eye and I have a really exaggerated scar on my right eye. And I'm going to sort of just have my hood up and look very brooding, like Strider style and kind of look serious. And then I'm sending one of my minions to get us rid of him. He said there's nobody here. Not on this floor. Ah!
Hello, we're looking for lodging. My employer is very impatient. You hear... That'll be the last of me. You hear the sound of footsteps creaking on the floorboards above you before you hear a voice. Cosmos? Potentially, yes. We're hoping. And you hear...
And what confronts you in this moment is from a morning of strange images, the strangest one that you've seen yet, but around the corner is a completely bald, heavily tattooed elf.
with extremely ivory white skin with these contrasting colors of inked patterns all over this person. And they turn and sort of creepily like... Ah! Oh, hi. Hi. Hello. Welcome to the Quiet Queen. Can I help you? I hope so. We're looking for some rooms, potentially. Well, we have rooms...
Okay, how much? How can I be of service? I, uh, we can, um, to accommodate all six of you and an ogre? Yes, that would be the case, yes. We work for this guy. Look at him. He's terrifying. Pfft. This is not a man that you want to piss off, let me tell you. See?
Yes, I, I, I, we can absolutely accommodate you. Would you be staying for just the one night or two? Potentially just the one, but maybe with, you know, a little option to extend it. Depends on your prices. For perhaps 20 copper for the night? Look, I look up at my employer, I nod. They are very nice rooms. That would be for the suite.
I think maybe we're looking more like 10 copper. I'll do it for you. I need as many customers as I can get, to be honest. Thank you. We appreciate your service. Perhaps you will show us to our rooms and I will issue payment promptly.
Upstairs! Upstairs! He starts to sing and jauntily makes his way up through the stairs, leading you past one or two rooms before he swings the door open. And you can see that this is actually quite a luxurious little place that you found for yourself. There's a wide, comfy bed and a nice window view of the street down out front of the
I look to my employer. Hmm? Hmm? Satisfactory? Hmm. Alright, everybody inside, I will issue payment promptly to the gentleman. Please. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything. Alright. Look, we've been traveling through Jakar for a long time. We don't have a lot of coin left, but we've got enough for tonight.
So I'm gonna give you my lucky coin. Traveling in Drakkar? Oh yeah, it's crazy. It's a wild story. I love to tell it. There's no time. No time. Here, take this. And I hand him a single silver piece. He's suddenly like dawning on him that he's like looking at creatures that seem extremely alien to him. Yes, yes, I know. I'm a horrific abomination. Focus, focus. You hand him a silver piece. He makes change and hands you the remaining copper you're owed. And the door opens.
I imagine, closes as he's like sort of giving you this quizzical look. Don't hesitate to call! I'll be just downstairs! Shouldn't be any change. Why not? Ten copper pieces? One silver piece? Oh, you already... You hand... I hand him one silver piece. Oh, I'm doing the 100 to... Should be ten, right? He has 80 copper pieces, is how I would do it in my brain, but no, he...
You get your no change. Scrim runs a change scam. I actually need change for this pack. I always put that conversion up where I go 1 to 100. No, it's all good. And then as he's leaving, I'm like, thank you, we'll be in touch. If there's anywhere to lock the door, is there any kind of mechanism to... Yeah, in the back there's a simple turnkey.
My illusion will probably at the last minute fade, as it only lasts, I think, like ten minutes. Oh shit. Alright. The good news is, for now, he won't be suspicious of much, but like Queenie said, it's only a matter of time before they start talking about all of us that look crazy. There's this creaking sound as Tack sits on the bed. And he sort of like sits down, "Tack tired." That makes five of us, buddy. Yeah.
Ah, we did it. All right. We've got-- we bought ourselves some time. I cannot do that again until I rest. Well, do we think we're safe for tonight? Maybe. Do you think he'll come back and check on us, or...? No, I don't think he'll bother us. Well, we paid him quite well. Who is it? I was wondering if you'd like some snacks? Well... Are they free?
Flap me in the ass and call me Bessie. I just know the kitchen is closed in the mornings and I didn't know if you wanted any snacks. I put my book up and turn away from the door while I'm not at Scrim. Click. We do want snacks, though, Scrim. How much for the snacks? And I'm like barely sticking my nose in one eye. Ask him if he has any tea. Just a few copper pieces. We have fruits and vegetables.
What about tea? Do you have any tea? They've got fruits and vegetables. Do you guys feel about fruits and vegetables? Fruits and vegetables kind of suck. No, no. Fruits and vegetables are great. Do they have any carrots? Do you have any carrots? Carrots galore. Oh, my God. Can you get just a bunch? We'll get some carrots. What else do you guys want? Oh, do you have apples?
Fish. Apples. Some meat. Do you have any meat? Ask him if there is any pineapples. No, we don't serve any meat. Oh, yeah. Do you have any pineapples? I like the way they make my tummy. What about a pineapple? I've never even heard of a pineapple. I don't know what that is either. What's his favorite thing on the menu? What's your favorite snack? Blood. No.
No, I...he...um... Elven loaves I'm...to die for. The what? The elven loaves. Oh, okay. We'll take a few of those. You didn't answer the tea question. You have oranges. Oranges.
Oranges? We have tea, we have- Alright, carrots, oranges, elven loaves, apples. Don't forget those apples. Any fish? Any fish? No, he doesn't have any meat, stop asking, Bonobos. Fish? He might not consider fish meat. You have any fish? No. Fuck! Bonobos, shut up! Fish is meat. That's what I said, Bonobos isn't the brightest bulb. You have to kill for fish. Anyway, the things I mentioned. Carrots, apples. Carrots, apples, tea. The loaves, tea. The loaves, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they have any cookies?
Do you have any cookies, pastries? Besides the Elvis books. Biscuits. I could throw some sweets in there as well. Yeah, throw some sweets. He's gonna throw some sweets in. Okay, nice. Does he have any heavy cream for that tea? Do you have any cream for the tea? Uh, no. Do you have any milk? No.
You have any dairy of any kind? You got cheese? No, it's just fruits and vegetables and some tea. And some sweets. And some probably some, you know. Does he have any nice salts for a warm and calming bath? No, no, he definitely does. I'm not going to ask that type of question. But can you ask, though? I'll ask for Queenie's. Do you have any salts for the bath?
I have salt. That's not, he just has regular salt. That could work. I don't think it's the same thing, Queenie. Are you sure? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure. How much is this gonna cost? Four copper pieces. All right, hold on. Give me the change. Stick out your hand.
And bang! Thank you for patronizing. Just leave it outside of the door! Just leave it outside the door! Gehenna's blessing. And then he turns around and you hear him go down.
I'm sorry, what did he say? He sounded like a fucking debris. Did he hear it? Did you-- I clearly understand what he said. You would have heard it and very muffled. He said something about, I don't even know what this means, Gehenna's Blessing, is that what it was? I don't know who that is, but she sounds nice. Is that draconic, does that sound familiar? We don't know, that doesn't sound familiar. Perhaps he's goddess. Yeah. Doesn't sound draconic to me. No, but it's a pretty name. I don't know, we'll just-- There are not many elves in Mammut.
I do not know much of their culture. Did you see that face? He scared the crap out of me when he first came around that corner. Well, it wasn't his face that scared me, it was the way he went. Yeah, it was his general energy. And I creeped around.
I think it all turned black and white. It turned into Nosferatu for a second. What are we gonna do? I don't know, but I like the idea of getting a tattoo. Y'all ever thought about getting one? I did get one. No, I've never had a tattoo. And then it vanished.
Do you actually have tattoos? I'm covered in tattoos. Is there art coming out of that too? Yeah. Oh, from here you just look blue. He's got a fucking bunch of shit and... Have any of y'all ever thought about getting tattoos, Barnaboves? There's my freshest one, it's the seabird right here on me chest!
I had like a crazy one in it. It was like, it was cold. You had one? It vanished. I thought it was going to stick around and it didn't. It's from the ghosts. Yeah. It's like a ghost tattoo. When we did the cheese rolling? Oh yeah. Didn't you take it? I did the St. Elmo's fire on you with the lightning bolts. Wrong one. Oh, that's right. Look at that. Yeah.
I just love your tattoo! The bolt of St. Elmo! There it is! Might as well get a tattoo. Good luck! Don't you recall? What about you, Tyshan? You ever thought about tattooing any characters? That's a fine work I did. I don't know that it sits very well on my scales. But you could have your scale tattooed individually, it'd be kinda cool. Well...
Well, I don't know. I don't like pain. That's fair. What about you, Yorneir? I'm sorry, Grimnor? Grimnir. Oh, isn't that what I said? No. You said Grimnor. No, I'm sorry. My bad. Have you ever thought about a tattoo, Grimnor? No, I have not. All right. With my fur, it wouldn't show very well. What about you, Tak? Tak, I like tattoo. You have any?
Would you like a tattoo for good luck to ward off evil spirits? I think I'll give you a fine cloud batter. I'm sorry, a what? Since we're surrounded by gobols. I mean, he's wearing very little, but you don't see any tattoos on his body. No, heck no, I have tattoo. You want one? If I ever go get a tattoo, Tack, will you come with me? We can be tattoo buddies. Yes. All right.
- No! - Tack would like that very much. - I forgot to ask Tack what he wanted for snacks. We'll share, we'll make it work. - Snacks? - Yeah. - Are there snacks? - They're coming. - They're not here yet, buddy. - It's just, Tack hungry. - Yeah, we didn't take into account though, like, it's only gonna be a little bit. - Do you like carrots?
- What carrot? - Oh, oh. - Oh, Tek, Tek, you're gonna love 'em. They're like about eight inches long, they're thick towards the base, they get thin towards the tip. They're really sweet, you just stick 'em in your mouth. - Why do you have to describe 'em like that?
I haven't heard of someone described it that way. That was specific. It's like a baseball bat. It's a flesh of carrot meat. No, they don't have any meat here. Well, no, but for a vegetable, it's quite meaty. Oh, that's true. It is quite meaty. You know, now that you mention it, he did make an off comment about having to kill the fish to serve meat.
Almost like he was against it. Vow of nonviolence, perhaps. Why would he be against it? I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the Gehenna goddess. I thought he was just saying meat is... You have to kill to make meat. So if you have to kill fish, it's meat. Right, but I just got the impression that he seemed like he didn't want to.
Like he wouldn't have wanted to do that. That guy looked like he had no trouble killing people. When he came around the corner, I almost shit my pants. I was sure we were dead. That guy was a stone-cold weirdo. Are you kidding me? None of us, I'm serious, none of us leave this room without the body system. Not when that pervert on the desk. You hear him? Hey! Hey!
You hear, um... I move the floorboards. There he is! LAUGHTER
You hear voices rise up from the mud outside. You can hear this sort of swell of sound, cheers, chants almost. You can hear, princess, princess, princess, princess, princess, and it gets louder and louder, and like a wave, it swings past and through the street, and there's a brief moment where the light coming through the window flickers as you imagine that a shadow appears
quickly passes overhead and then it fades. - Oh, that's bad. - Do I hear any? - Yeah. - That's pretty cool. - And did you hear a-- - I'll leave the tray outside the door. - Good, go away! - Thank you for the quiet, do you need anything else? - Go away! - No, but we need more stuff 'cause of TAP. - Oh, damn it!
Oh yes. We need more snacks. How many? We have a fully stocked kitchen. We have an ogre in here. I can cook something if you like. Daisy ain't fully stocked. He doesn't have any meat or fish in it. That's the opposite of fully stocked. He did, I don't know. Ask him what kind of things he can make. What can you fully prepare? Stews. Oh yeah, how do you make a stew without meat in it?
How do you make a stew without meat in it? You just don't put meat in it. That makes it a soup. It's like a chili. How do you make a chili without meat? We're getting off topic. We'll take some of the soup. You can't make ceviche without shrimp and fish. Hold on. Wait, just give me a minute.
Here, start giving those up. All right, we'll take some of the soup. Extra large portion, though, as he's an ogre. He's big. He's easy. Okay. Oh, didn't he say that the kitchen was closed? Can you ask him? He said it's closed in the morning. Can you ask him if he can make, it's called dynamite beef. So basically what you're going to do is, it's like you're making Mongolian beef, but instead of Mongolian sauce, you're going to sub in for dynamite sauce? You said beef. He doesn't have any beef. Okay, well just ask him anyway. And so then what you're going to need
gonna need to do though because because you're near Barnabas and Tac well and Tac Shan they've got they've got stomachs for days the soup bowls like the big ones the communal soup bowls I need you to get four of those fill those full of rice one for each of them okay and then in
And then instead of like the little carass that you would use for the sauce, you're not gonna do those. Tell them to get like coffee mugs or something. Fill it full of the dynamite sauce. Get one for each of them as well, okay? I'm just gonna need a little bowl of white rice on the side for me. And then if you could go light on the green onions on mine, that would be nice. - I can hear the lady. - Just bring us a lot of soup. How much is that gonna cost? - I'm gonna make some soup and I'm gonna make the dynamite beef, but I'm gonna make it with black beans and jackfruit. - Oh!
You'll love it. I'd rather starve you sick. I'd rather starve you sick freak.
This is a place that is hell. This is a godless place. That man is a deranged man. He must be stopped. We've got to kill the innkeeper. So, I think that we never got his name, but I think that his...
I think his name is the Soup Pervert. When he comes back, when he comes back, don't distract me. I have some questions. I'll get his name. All right, we'll get the soup. Oh, we haven't asked his name yet. Oh, he's the Soup Pervert. Well, that's what we call him by on his back. I know we haven't eaten normal food in eight months, but I really hope he brings the soup in bread bowls. Oh, my God, we didn't ask him to do that. Can you call him back, Scrooge?
I'm not calling him back. I don't want to interact with him. It's a beautiful establishment. Could you go downstairs by yourself? No! Did you miss the conversation I said when no one leaves this room without the body safety? You want me to come with you? We have to find out. Absolutely not. If I'm leaving the update of Barnabas with me, he'll snap that guy in two. He can't leave the room now with that tattoo. I'll snap him in three.
Someone who's using their head. Well, you know what you could do? You could wear shirts long enough to cover up your tramp stamp scram. You know, I just like to feel the air on my midriff. You know, when you suggested the tickle-me-elbows fire, I really shouldn't have obliged you. Oh.
None of that is canon. All of that is canon. All right, all right. I'm happy to snap the soup pervert in half tomorrow. Well, I am not feeling well even after the great healing that Mr. Fireblossom and Mr. Yornir-- Grimnir. We're gonna wait for the soup. We're all gonna relax. We're not leaving this room unless we absolutely have to. And I can't think of a single reason why we would need to, all right?
I really want to ask him if we can get that soup in a brim bowl. It's too late. I'll go. I'm not scared. Nope, nope, nope. I'll walk down there by myself. No one is leaving this room. Please, talk some sense into them. Really quick, I was just having too much fun doing the soup scene. When the shadowy winds flew by, I would have run to the window. What's that? I would have run to the window to look out the window. Oh, okay. You immediately sprint, and you...
glance out and you look down the street but following the voices out in this direction
heading towards the west, towards the spine, you can see this gliding, massive dragon, one you've seen twice before, once in a storm out on a flat sheet of ice, and again when you were having perhaps one of the most intense experiences of your life, fighting an elder brain on a nautiloid ship as it climbed its way up the hull and
Then eventually disappeared with an artifact that you know you are all seeking. It is very much the same dragon. Is she going to the... Is she flying to the... Seemingly towards the gate that you crashed through.
Towards the gate that we crashed through? Yes. Oh. Oh, that's not good. Oh. So she's not going to this place. She's going to the gate. She's headed... Probably from the keep to the... where the commotion is. Oh shit, it's like smog. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Oh no. Oh no. Deep shit. You were here, you landed here. I would say that at this point you're sort of like here.
Oh shit! Wait, that's only as far as we've made it? This place is enormous. Oh no! Yeah, yeah. There are tens of thousands of citizens in this place. Just based on the half of it that you have seen. This place is enormous. It's a huge, huge city.
Dungeon Master, for my visualization, as everyone's calling the princess, does suddenly the window start to ice up a little bit? Oh! And the temperature in the room drops. Does that happen? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, jeez. I mean, it's snowing outside.
It's like when the Dementors are outside of the Hogwarts Express. I was just going to say that. This is what happens before the witches fly out of my asshole. Sorry, I love doing that. Can we get a time stamp on that so I can send it to Jesse? You wait. It seems that the soup and the dynamite beef...
Take some time for them to actually heat up a cauldron and get cooking and get the kitchen online. So quite a large amount of time passes, perhaps 45 minutes to an hour before you start to hear footsteps coming up the stairs again. But you have that time and your company to enjoy talking about whatever you want to talk about this mid-morning of the day.
Does that count as a short rest? I would say it counts as a short rest. I am going to use all of my fucking shit. If needed. I have a d12s to be fair. Yeah, let's take a look. I'll probably do a short rest and then 1, 2, 3, 4. Where do you see it again? 4 is probably worth it. Manage. Manage. I guess I will roll them until I am full. Where are my d12s? It's +2 on every roll, right? Whatever your combat is. Yeah.
Okay, three. Eleven. That's pretty good. I'll use one more. Jesus Christ. Another ten. Alright. One, two, three, four. I used five. Take short rest. Six. I will probably only eat one. No, I'll use maybe two more.
Eleven. It's riveting content here, fellas. Yeah. Alright, um, I'm good. I'm good. I'm feeling good. As good as I can be. I used six. Short rest: one, two, three, four, five, six. I rolled pretty hot on my, uh, hit dice. I rolled okay. I used five as well. I'm using all of them. Fuck it. And eventually... That will heal me, thank god.
How are you enjoying the snacks? They're fine. Here, give me what you brought. Ask him if you brought the soup and a brimble. He didn't bring the soup and a brimble. It's on a cart. Okay, all right, everybody back up. I'm gonna have to wheel it in. No, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna open the door, I'm gonna wheel it in, I'll give you your cart back. You're very pushy, Strange Green Man. Not into the room, don't let him in at the door. I'm not gonna let him in. All right, just making sure. All right, just stand there. I understand. I'm gonna wheel the cart in, you guys
Take this stuff off. All right, while they're taking this stuff off, I have a couple questions for you. What? What is your name? Nimrodel. Nimrodel? Oh, my name is Albert. Albert?
Well, if you want, there's a guest book that you can sign your name and leave a message. I'll do so. Number two. What was that thing about, you said something about Gehenna's blessing earlier? What does that mean? Is that your god? Is that the religion that you worship? Gehenna's blessing? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Everyone of the cabal worships
The, the, the Cabal? Yes, I'm Aldel Ciaran Argenhold. Oh, there's more, there's more of you. Not as many as perhaps the Cabals and the others, but yes. The Cabal, okay, that's concerning. Oh, oh, yeah, the last thing. You said something about having to kill for the meat. Do you not, do you not eat meat? I wouldn't, no, I would never kill a creature to be killed. I knew it, stupid Taishan. When you're sensitive to...
The second veil as I am. The second veil? What is that like? The afterlife to death itself. Oh, all right. You don't know very much about people, do you? What was that? Here's your tray. Take this. Get the cart out of here. Oh, thank you, thank you. Get out of here. All right, thank you. Oh, wait, how much do I owe you? Another eight copper. Son of a... Okay, hold on. Here's another silver piece. Let me change. Two more. Two more.
Thanks, go away. You hear him departing down the hallway and you feel that he has left. Suddenly there is a gray herring gone. Similar size to Queenie. It's eating it. You won't even know the care. What a nimrod. Who is this? What's up, Java?
That's hilarious. He gets ripped out of here. What was his name? I've already forgotten. Nimrodel. Nimrodel. His name is Nimrodel. He is opposed to killing because he's very sensitive to something about the second veil beyond the other worlds. He's sensitive to death itself. And...
Oh, the Gehenna thing was his religion. Yeah. Well, who would agree? I mean, I guess we guessed it. We figured it out. Well, I guess that means we're safer tonight. No, he also mentions something about all of the elves in this town being part of a cabal, whatever that means. Oh, I'd love to go to a cabal. Yeah, I don't think it's like that. Oh. It sounded a lot more menacing when he said it. He was like, the cabal. I think everything sounds menacing when he says it, though. That's true. That's fair. That's very fair.
Is it really a cabal? When he said, "Ha," he was like... That's a very good impression. Yeah, it was really uncomfortable.
- Eat up, Tek. - What are you doing in here? We told you to leave. - Oh no, it's the soup burger, he's back! - Oh my god, there he goes! - He comes up out of the mattress. - Tek doesn't care for the dynamite beef. - No one says. - I'm going to take whatever food, oranges or bread with butter, I don't even know if he has fucking butter.
And I'll sit below the large painting with the two eye holes cut out. And I'll just like eat. It's hard. The room warms with the temperature of your bodies as you all stay in there and it starts to get cozier and cozier and you start to relax and relax as you take what nourishment you can from what snacks you prefer.
And the, um, uh, I, it strikes you how this is the first time in a long time where you haven't felt the pressure of danger from any direction. Even though you know that just outside the door, uh, there is, uh, are thousands of people who will think of you as strangers, as perhaps a threat that might want, uh, uh,
Answers regarding your origins, answers regarding the nature of the fact that you've tacked with him and that almost certainly the wheels are turning as time progresses. What the princess was doing heading towards the same place that you crashed starts to put an idea in your head that there is that rumors are spreading, information is spreading. The
Pushing those thoughts aside, however, you find yourselves able to relax for a moment. You're no longer in a tunnel underneath perhaps tens of thousands of tons of rock underneath the mountains, traveling in ice troll...
civilization, for lack of a better term. You're no longer in the very southern wastes of the... of Drakkar, on the ocean, even. You're no longer in the strange space that you found yourself at, that lighthouse. This is a... this is, for lack of a better word, is civilization. It feels like almost something that you have been missing, something you're familiar with, with the exception of a strange, obviously...
experience that you had in the fake city of Ogurt. We should rest. We do not know when we will get another opportunity.
And I think it would be like one of those things where you're so exhausted and you've been staying up so long that all of a sudden your body realizes, "Okay, I can rest," and just catches up with you. With the adrenaline, it kind of is out of your body. Had you pushed yourself another half day, I would have had exhaustion rolls for everyone ready to go. And so I would-- I don't know how many beds are in this single room. You said it was a suite. I would try to find, you know, one of the beds that would fit my height.
and settle in. It definitely feels like you could have bought two rooms. There are two beds, they are large, but it will require folks to sort of sleep on some of the chairs and the couches just off to the side. There is your own personal en suite bathroom that you can use. There's not hot water, but definitely
cold water that's warm enough, not the ice, that you can use to freshen up these kinds of luxuries. If I feel like there's any, like, nails, or if the wood is sturdy enough, I would probably try to just take the tent, or whatever I have, and just make a hammock.
I'm fine just hammering in nails into the walls of their sconces. The craftsmanship here is good. This doesn't feel like a very new building. It feels very old, and yet it is still standing, and so you are able to make a hammock in one of the corners of the room, and you feel almost like on a ship, though it lacks that nice waving motion. I don't feel quite right not sleeping in a hammock, so you all can take the bed, and I'll fashion myself a hammock out.
I'll eat whatever I feel until I'm full, if there is enough food, and then I'll just pass out. Oh, I'll sit up, as soon as I get my hammock, I'll say, I suppose that we really should keep a watch. Even though we are in an inn, we still don't fully trust Nimrod the Super. Yeah, probably couldn't have.
Did he say his name was Nimrodel or Nimpo-del? Nimrodel. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, you know. Alright, I'll take first watch. I'm not tired yet. I'll take last watch and get a head start on-- I guess I'm not cooking breakfast, I have to ask. He said that the kitchen was closed in the morning. I'd be happy to take a watch after scrim. Then wake me up when you are ready. You going to sleep?
Yeah, we're tired. Noon? Well, it's been a very long time for us. Before we met you, we went through a lot. I'm pretty sure I could sleep a full 24 hours, so... Oy, stay true. What's wrong, Tak? Tak, not tired? Well, that's okay, 'cause one of us is gonna stay up the entire time, so you'll have someone to talk to. Okay. We can even play games when it's my turn.
Okay. I'll teach you liar's dice. I'm sure you'll be quite good at it. Okay. Need to find some dice first, anyway. Good night, everyone. Good night, Scream. And you endeavor to enjoy a long rest. Who takes first watch? Me. Okay. It is Boop.
Boop. Tyshen. And I play a game with... I play a game with Tack. For my watch, I play a game with Tack called "Sit in front of the door and don't let anyone in." Wow! You're winning, Tack! Yeah, I convinced Tack that he's winning the game. He's so much better than me at this! I can't believe it! I can't believe I'm sitting in front of the door so no one can get in.
Okay, Scrim. Everyone is either snoring or sleeping very loudly, and Tak is aggressively endeavoring to win. What do you do with your hour plus time? Do we have a window? We've got a window. I would probably peek out the window, see what's going on. I probably wouldn't be able to get that guy out of my head. He'd be in my head for everything.
And I'd be, I'd just be thinking about the things he said and like, you know, wondering about the cabal. You don't see any of these other, uh,
elf creatures walk up and down the street. The occasional times you start people watching more and more as the hour gets longer and longer. But you do see contingents of kobolds running up and down the streets every once in a while. You do see the occasional Goliath or pair of Goliaths moving forward, clearly heading to market for some reason, or perhaps coming to this district for a meal or something along those lines.
You do see dwarves walking back and forth. And it...
The dwarves strike you as very strange. Whatever dwarves you've experienced in your life, these have many of the same characteristics in terms of their dress and in terms of their stature, in terms of their berated, big, bushy beards. But you can plainly see that there's almost this deep blue or dark purple skin to them. You can see a big knobby nose on the front of their face. It almost looks like they've gotten very cold, very, very cold.
But watching them go by, you also see these very strange orc creatures, unlike any that you've ever seen. Not adorned in huge metallic armor or carrying huge weapons, but themselves with tall staffs that
have hanging ropes and trinkets and these variety of things. Almost like if Yorneir were an orc. And you take in these details and sort of start to saturate yourself in the culture of the city. Those are but the races that you see in these few tribes and clans. - And then I wake up and whoever's turn is, I go to sleep. - You wake up Yorneir. - Hey, wake up. When you get some time, take a look outside. There's some weird looking people out there.
Yes, I will. Also, I made up a game with Tak called "Sit in front of the door and don't let anybody in." So just keep playing with him. Tell him he's winning. He won't move. All right. Good night. Tak, all-time champion. Well done, Tak. You stay right there. And I'll look out the window. And you take in these same fresh details. You seem to be across the street from a... I have it right here.
You do seem to be across from a delicacies shop, a storefront that seems to have breads and cheeses and all sorts of exotic mushrooms hanging, drying in the window. But just as I described to Andy, what Scrim observed, you would see the same kind of foot traffic moving up and down the street.
And the hour or so passes uneventfully, however long we divide up six to eight hours period of time, depending on-- - A little over an hour and a half each, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think in order to ensure that everyone got a long rest, you could still say that you sleep for 24 hours, and if you wanna wake up tomorrow morning, that's fine. But for these first essential hours of sleep, you wait. - And then maybe like 15 or 30 minutes before my watch ends, I'm gonna just sort of like, "Tac, may you move aside just very briefly?"
He like sits up. He's been sitting almost cross-legged like a big baby. And he gets up. He has to lean down in order to not collide with the ceiling, even as high as it is, and then gets out of your way. And as he does that, I'm just going to basically like very quickly open the door and look outside. You do that, and you look outside and back and forth, and then... I have it still over my head, by the way. There doesn't appear to be anyone in the hallway.
Stay right here. You fool. I'm gonna just slowly walk down the stairs, keeping my hood over my head, and just try to get a sense of like, keep my head shadowed, but take a look. I wanna see if I can find this Nimrodel guy.
You come downstairs and now that it is afternoon and the kitchen is open, you actually see that if you made it to the first floor, that there would be patrons. A handful of creatures have walked into the store and Nimrodel is with an eagerness that is very strange, making sure that they are all enjoying his newest recipe, dynamite jackfruit. With beans. With black beans. Nightmare.
I would have taken a... Do I have some money at all? You would have to tell me. I didn't track your inventory to that degree. Let me check my equipment real quick. I know, I certainly have no coin. I do not.
I would have, if you think that I would be able to get into... I vaguely recall that you and Queenie might have had... We had platinum pieces. And I gave that to Scrim, which I don't know what you did with. I don't recall having platinum pieces, because the last I had, I had 200 pieces of gold, I dumped 100 of them in a recent session, and kept the other 100, because some of my spells require gold for components. Mm-hmm.
Don't I don't remember I mean I remember you offering me the platinum, but I don't I don't have my book on me I don't ever remember writing it down in my book I see like I can picture my inventory in my mind and I don't I never wrote down one platinum because it would have taken up a different Slot like the 100 each 100 gold pieces took up a slot right and so to hold extra food I dumped the hundred gold and another you know a single platinum would have taken up and
I would walk down and I would try to find, I will try to sort of motion to Nimrod with my face still covered. If you have a moment. Just one minute. He finishes taking the orders. I'll be with you in one flash of a second, please. And he runs over. Yes, how can I be of service? Is everything up to standard? Yes, I wanted to thank you for your hospitality earlier.
given my eclectic band of misfits, so to speak. And, uh... Just hopefully understanding is... You are your own member of a cabal, I hear. Discretion is key for men like you and me, is it not? Oh, yes! Well, again, thank you, and I wanted to give you a blessing.
Make a handless blessing be with you. I want to pass him something. I don't know if he would reach out his hand. He would instantly, very graciously. I would sort of grab his hand and put a stone in his hand. And when I grab his hand, I'd like to cast Second Sight on him. Second Sight. It's an icebound spell. It's a charisma saving throw. You did this. They say I have your gold. And so I just checked and I do. Yeah. I do. 18.
Fuck. I think 18 passes. Wow. What a second thing to do. Can you read it all? Yeah, what does it do? You touch a creature and attempt to use another creature's vision in addition to your own. An unwilling creature may attempt a charisma saving throw to resist the spell. While the spell gives you no control over the subject, each time you come into a con- you can basically transfer it. I can basically- I could have seen through his eyes for an hour. An unwilling creature? Maybe he likes warriorism.
Yeah, I don't know. Would he be unwilling? Does he know that it's being cast? Does he know that it's being cast?
I would not, I would not, I don't think he would, he would. Well he feels a blessing is coming, so if he's expecting a blessing. He knows I'm giving him a blessing, and I'm placing a stone with a rune that's wristed into it in his hand. Okay. Just as a, from one holy man to another. With that idea, make a deception check, and we'll see if he willingly accepts this. That's a good call. That's really good. Do you wanna, do you wanna add twists?
Five? Let's add five. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for the twists. This system is pretty neat. I really like it. It's turned into a Mormon. Um, shoot, where was I going? Five twists. Ah. Thank you so much for the bits. What is it? Thirteen. Whoa! Thank god he used the five twists. Sorry, let me just quickly... What's the max amount of twists you can use?
I mean all probably I don't know if you have a cap we decided not to set a cap initially because the idea is that it'll force scarcity and like we just won't have a bunch to use yeah gotcha but if we feel that we need to add a cap we certainly can should have gone plus 20. um I was hoping I'd get lucky you know oh yeah we did it with a 13 I'm gonna re-roll okay
And it's just somatic. So what do you say to cast the spell? I would say, um... Blessing of Gehenna. Blessing of Gehenna. I'm basically trying to rhyme back the blessing that he said to us as he left. He accepts the stone and you feel the magic pass from your skin into his and suddenly you are looking at your own hood as the second sight spell takes an effect.
And he, seemingly unknowing the nature of the blessing, "Thank you! What is, uh... may I ask? Is this Gehenna's blessing or is it..." "From one holy man to the other, the land blesses you, as Gehenna does."
And without a word, without another word, I'm gonna basically try to turn and leave. I'm going to bring you some more dynamite jackfruit later on. Thank you, thank you, sir. And I'll go up the stairs and I will wake up who would be next.
I'm going to wake up Taishan without saying anything and I would go to sleep, but as I lay there I'm not actually sleeping. I use my action, my eye is glowing and I'm just watching for the next hour. You are just watching. We'll describe what you see momentarily. Taishan, you are groggily woken by...
I'm gonna be scarred forever. By Yornir, and you find yourself for the hours or two stuck with Tak, having to while away the time to make sure that your companion's slumber goes undisturbed. I think the first thing I would do is I would go to the wash basin with the water that's not quite warm, but not cold. And I think, like, that...
Like that first shower after a day of travel. You just kind of feel like you have this layer of a road on you. I'd go to the wash basin and just take my
my tunic off. You have the unusual privilege of being able to like hold the side of the basin and warm the water even. So instead of what most folks would have, which is the very low room temperature water, almost cold, you would be able to actually get it to the point where you could see the steam rising off the slick surface and
I'd rub it in my hands, across my face. Maybe even from not having fully healed yet, as I start to wash my arms, a little, like the water would start to turn mildly red as streaks of blood would wash off of me. And then I'd take just a washcloth and put it, if there's a washcloth, on the back of my neck. And maybe for the first time since we've been in Drakkar, feel...
like internally warm, shattering just a little bit of the cold that has probably really deeply set within me. And just kind of trying to retain or get to a space of comfort again. You do that. Do you do anything else with your tongue? Before you wake, I can't remember if it was Barnabas or Queenie, but... Barnabas is last. He's last.
I would also go to the window, but I would try and look towards the... I would be thinking about the path of the Princess of Wrath and try and look towards the gate. And just kind of like, not even necessarily looking to like try and see if I see anything over there, but just wondering.
What comes next? It's mid-afternoon now, and you can see very plainly the sun hitting the water. This extremely reflective surface almost creates a double image of the island and its reverse, the keep above it, its many, many spires. You can see it starting to clear up the fog of morning, and you can see...
an alive city, all these different buildings of different shapes all across the way from your vantage point. What limited sight you can see and you just sort of take in the horizon. I would spend the remainder of my time just looking out, surveying and thinking, deep in thought. Tak doesn't bother you. He seems extremely fixated by the door for some reason until finally you
Who do you wake? Queenie. During this, the first hour of your time, you enter an almost meditative state. It's still restful. You're not moving or using many calories, let's say, what few you got from the vegetables and snacks. But you are experiencing the life of the ultimate...
a person who seems eager to please, eager to please and then some. And they are taking orders, they are rushing back, making sure that the food is just perfect in their mind, making sure that everyone feels heard, never, never, never faltering or taking a break. And you are just starting to feel like the spell is...
wearing off, wishing that you could hear any of the conversations during that. You're feeling that it is just beginning to fade as the person goes back and seemingly takes their first break. They go not just pass through the kitchen, but into a back room. And in there, there's a myriad of candles, all of which burn with almost a black light.
And in the center of a desk, adorned with the usual managerial tools that would be required to run an inn or a lodge, in the center there seems to be a thick tome. And on top, the totem or sculpture, a very heavy, dark stone creature, it is very evidently of some sort of a hound or dog.
And you watch as the hand of the elf reaches and grabs that figure and moves it aside, and you watch as he flips open through pages of written notes. Entry, long entry, entry, entry, entry, until finally finding an empty blank space not very far into the book, perhaps a third of the way through. And the hand writes in Elvish. Do you speak Elvish?
Oh my god, please. Please. There's no way. Please be gellish. I mean, we'll see. It's not skills. No, it's under languages and proficiencies. There's no way. Common, druidic, dwarvish, elvish, and giant. Oh!
- Let's go! - And you see the script written out and help somebody with their order, clarified a point. They seem to be writing down everything that they assisted people with in excruciating detail. - Interesting. - Until the hand sort of stops and sort of rests. And when the ink seemingly has dried, it,
turns the pages all the way to the very end, and you can see that the last entry, as opposed to all of these empty lines where more and more, presumably, of these favors would have been written out in detail, the last line simply reads "The End."
And the book closes. You see the figure get put back on there and then turning and almost like at a sprint to rush to find the next person to serve. That vision fades.
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Most of you are asleep. Yornir, you are perplexed by what you've seen, but you drift off back into a slumber. And Taishan, you wake Queenie and take your position, her position, in bed, swapping spaces as tight as this suite is, given that there are six of you, and find yourself quickly passing out after your refreshing time on watch. Queenie, you have the watch to spend.
I'll head straight over to Tak. Tak, what are you doing? Playing game. What game are you playing? Watch door. Who told you about this game? Skirm. Skirm did? Close. Skirm. Yep. Skirm and Williams say watch door. That sounds like something Skirm and Williams. That does sound like something Skirm would do. You want
And you want to spend some time with me? Because we don't need to play Watcher Door anymore. You won. Gorm's asleep. He lost. I won? Yeah, you won. I'm really proud of you, Tak. Tak, we know all games. Yeah, well, you want to spend some time together, get to know each other? Yes. All right. Why don't you tell me a few things about yourself? What do you like to do in your free time, Tak? Eat. All right, you want this apple? Then I'll throw him an apple.
Oh, you're just gonna... She's just gonna swallow that whole... Okay. It sounds like a walnut breaking. You've watched, like, the entire apple get done in a second. Jesus. You can hear one crushing chew, and then he swallows... Apple. Acceptable. All right. Well...
Let's just spend some time together and I'm just gonna spend the hour just asking him random questions. I'm gonna teach him how to braid hair. He talks about his time in the city. He remembers vaguely the details of what would have been a life of
endeavoring to climb the social ladder, the things that were so important to him when they were big brain ogres and how even though he misses some of that life and the luxuries that came with it, he feels happy and free. You do play some games with him. It's very difficult to teach him rules. I teach him like rock, paper, scissors. Right, right, right. And I just let him win every time regardless. Go on go or...
So, rock, paper, scissors, shoot. And then on shoot, you're gonna do either rock, paper, scissors with your hands. Alright, you ready? Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You won. You wanna go again? Yes. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You won.
We just do that for an hour. Mastermind! And you play games until you realize that enough time has probably passed for Barnabos to take final action. I have to go wake up Barnabos. Queenie nice. Well, thank you, Tac's nice. Barnabos is really good at watch door, don't let anyone in. And he will tell Skurm if you're not vigilant. You know what vigilant means?
I have had sex. Can we turn it into a meme of that guy? Yeah.
- All right. Maybe there's something you can teach me. - No, thank you. - In the meantime, why don't you go ahead and take a seat in front of that door and you play that game and make sure you beat Barnabas, all right? - Okay. - All right, I believe in you, buddy. I'm gonna pat him on the back and then I'm gonna walk over and wake up Barnabas.
"Tack, fuck!" "My name is Tack!" Tack's like Christian Grey. "Fuck!" He's like Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey. "I don't make love, I fuck." "Give me- give Tack the cack cack!" "Yikes!" "Oh no!" "Oh nooooo!"
Barnabas, you feel a paw-like hand wake you up, and you're swinging in a hammock. It almost feels like you're back on a ship as you stare up at a dark wood ceiling, and suddenly you realize and remember where you are. Good morning, Barnabas. I'm having an incredibly pleasant dream, and I look very peaceful, and I'm muttering.
to myself and suddenly I kind of jolt up. Good morning. No one tried to break in? No. Tacks playing a game that Skurm the Goblin taught him how to play. It's called Watch Door Don't Let Anyone In. As long as you tell him he's winning, he'll keep doing it. All right. Thank you, Miss March. Good night. Get some sleep. I'm just going to go back to bed. You do.
I'll crawl into the hammock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can picture the hammock like this with like one ear flopped over my head like this and like you can see some toes on the other side. Then I suppose I'll join you in your game. I'll sit down next to him, cross my legs. I win, you lose. I don't know about that, Tak. I've been around a lot longer than you have, lad. I've watched many a door, many a horizon. Then you can beat old Barnabo's Dread Wake.
Well, we wait, Tak. Have you ever heard the tale of the seven voyages of Trothak the Shark Plot? Who? Ah, well, you haven't then. Well, allow me to elaborate in extreme detail. I will go and I will...
I will elaborately tell him about all seven voyages of Trothak the Shark. Oh, you've never heard of the Gear Wars? Boy, do I envy you. He's actually struggling to win Watch the Door by the second tale. Very quickly, you enwrap him in this fantastical tale. I am confident that Barnabas would be a terrific storyteller. And with all of your embellishments being what it is, the hour passes very quickly and you are able to...
Go from sea voyage to sea voyage. And that final emerald streak, Truthak the Shark Puncher joined his ancestors on the Fiddler's Green. It's time to wake everyone up. Good story. By the way, you lose. I saw you gaze off to the corner of the room while I kept my eyes off the door. He kills us all in a bit of room. We can play again!
He's like fucking Mr. Hyde and fucking Big of Extraordinary Gentlemen. He's thinking of people, fucking Puny Drayton. No, Tech actually gets up. You can see he's disgruntled. He kicks the bed, which slides across the floor.
You're all awoken by his screams of failure and he pulls a sheet over himself and slumps into the deck. Who are you? Well, wait, but you got second place, buddy.
- Oh yeah, that's right. - That's the next one behind first. That's really good. - Scrim always says the second place is the first loser. - Shut up. - Well, I may have said that, but what I also say too is that it wouldn't be fun if you won every time. - Oh yeah, that's true. - Otherwise, why gamble or play games? - Heck, win every game. - All right. - Well, cow, it's so close.
And you can hear very loud snoring coming from him minutes later. He probably needed to sleep, though, to be fair. Skirmish him looking at that door for a good ten hours. And...
It's night. Nighttime has emerged, and looking out the window, you can see the lit lanterns and lights that adorn the city. Much less foot traffic this close to the lake, and that strange egg-like smell still pervades the air, even in your room, though it is muted.
Scream!
Yes. Produce your coin. Why? The lucky one. I would like to see it. What are you going to do with it? You can't just tell me to do stuff. I'd like to examine it. Are you sure you want to? The last guy who touched it, he's been horrifically good for the rest of time. It's me. Yes, I would like to see it. All right. Last chance. I just take my hand out.
I examine it. I want to see if this bears any resemblance to anything I saw in the book or the totem on top of the book. If the aesthetic feels similar. Because just because it's a hound doesn't necessarily mean it's the same hound, right? It could be any hound. A lot of hounds. A lot of hounds in the world. Gooder than any superfood.
One moment. What's the best bottle cap? Best.
I don't have the description immediately available to me, so I'll tell you what I remember from memory, and if it's inconsistent with earlier descriptions, I apologize. That's fine. However, on one side, it is perfectly smooth. Rather than having a...
face on it like the sides of gold coin might have on both. One side is smoothed almost like a blade or like a mirror, something that you'd be able to look into and see your own reflection. You can see your golden reflection when you look at that side and flipping it to the other side you see the
image of a very strange creature. Almost a demonic creature. That's what I remember as well. Here you are. Thank you! The super-verth worships some kind of dog. I thought I should let you know. What? What do you mean, worships some kind of dog? Yeah, I peered through his eyes last night, or I guess earlier today.
And in his back room he has a large tome written in elvish with some sort of logbook. On top of it sat a stone idol or totem of some kind of dark hound. Perhaps not unsimilar from your friend. That's concerning. So if you wish to sneak back there and steal it, I would not stop you, but...
Why would you think that I want to steal that? You want to steal most things. Yeah, but I don't want to steal that. Why not? That's no value to me. Plus, I don't want to touch any of that stuff with a 40-foot pole. I'm already cursed to hell and back six ways to Sunday. All nine levels of it. Gotta be. Come on. Or maybe to Gehenna and back. What does that mean? What, is Gehenna a place and not a person? I don't know. They keep mentioning it. He said it was his religion.
At the end of the book, it said "The End" very ominously. Well, that's what the end of every book says. Most books have endings, right? This is not some kind of storybook. What kind of book was it, Mr. Yorneir? It was an eldritch tome. It looked... Frankly, his entire back room looked a bit like Spencer's gifts.
Or even the electric orb, eh? You remember him reaching out and being like, charging his fingers. There was a marble lamp, right? I even saw the penis throw. There was one of those spin displays like, oh, I'm 40 now, over the hill.
That was one of those poster catalog things that were metal frames that you could flip to. Oh god, there's no way that anyone here is old enough to remember the fucking poster. Fucking face, holy shit. Is that no longer universal? I don't think so. There's no way! There's no way! No, there's simply no way. Who fucking sells posters anymore? All right, let's assume for a second that it's related. Why would you think stealing would have any good outcome?
Tricky...
To be fair, even if we wanted to steal it, night would be the time to do it, but if that's his light quarters, you know, I'm not gonna get in there. You think he's a Dracula? No, I just think he sleeps in there in that creepy Spencer's Gift room. Think he hangs upside down by his feet? Maybe. Who am I to judge? Hmm.
Lots of gnomes and mushrooms and snails and... That's the sailors that I would sail with. We usually call those kinds of places "specialty establishments" if you catch my meaning. They charge a premium. So you're saying that he was logging what he was doing to help, and then at the end of the book it said "the end". Yes. But there was Blake up until that point.
Yep, yes, I believe. You think that means when he's done cataloging all of his good deeds, he dies? Boy, that was my guess, Queenie. Or maybe he is similarly cursed and he's released from it. Why would it say the end, though? Wouldn't it say, like, you're free? The end of your curse. Feels more like the end of your life. Especially because it's coupled with him looking behind a door like this.
You know what I mean? He seems so excited to help, to add more into the book. Would he be rushing towards his death? Maybe. Think about it like this. If you had been cursed to provide services to people for year after year after year, and you've been doing it for thousands of years, maybe, wouldn't you welcome the sweet embrace of death? Not if it was serving tea. That's fair. All right, I don't know then.
I wasn't on board until you suggested there might be a way out of this curse. The problem is, I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life helping people. That's pathetic. I don't think you should steal the book, Scrim. Tricking the figure out of the coin is how you were cursed in the first place. You're right. You're right. Stealing the book could double curse you. Would you like me to do it? No, no. I think that's only gonna make things worse for me. You think maybe we should just talk to him?
And ask him? I was thinking about it, but then he's gonna be like, "How'd you know about my creepy Spencer's gifts room?" And I'm gonna be like, "Well, I don't really know. I don't have a good way to explain this." Tell him it-- Tell him you saw-- Were you spying on me? No, no, no, I got it. No, deal with the pervert. I got it. You tell him it came to you in a dream, that you two must be connected. 'Cause you also have a dog. That's not a bad idea.
I don't know how much I want to tell this guy about how cursed I really am. You don't have to. You can just say you've seen a dog stalking you for a while and you happen to have a dream and you think they're connected and see what he'll tell you. I might just tell him about a dream and make that up and not even tell him about the dog yet unless there's a reason to. All right.
I mean, what if he kidnaps me and does some horrific cabal experiments on me and the next thing you know, I get turned into a leather book, if you know what I'm saying. Well, at least he's not an alien. He's not an alien? No. Because with that tattoo on your back, they'd know exactly where to probe you. That's right. That's right. I don't know. I don't know about this, guys. No, neither do I.
I really don't want to talk to that guy anymore. Well, I think it's inevitable. I think he'll probably check on us before he turns in for the night. I could tell him I had the dream. I should probably do it. No, I agree. But I mean, if you're feeling cowardly about it, I'd be happy to do it. Yeah, well, you know, it's just kind of the way things are. I know. We could also just move through the districts under the cover of darkness.
We could also just not find out anything about it at all, just pretend like you don't know. You know, avoidance... Is the thing. Yeah? Taishen makes a good point. It's only a matter of time before they find us. Especially the... the queen. And then princess, and then we're in trouble. We're in real trouble. I thought we wanted to go see her. I don't know. We want what she has. The Hexacharmament. I think we were trying to avoid detection.
Well, I don't know if this is the sort of place, but I've, I've, uh, gotten shore leave at strange ports with sorcerers and priests having chokers and bangles with gems that could change their person. I think they would have anything like that here that we could procure, so we don't have to worry about sneaking around like vermin. Bildratt! And instead, perhaps, walk about like Goliaths or dwarves or...
Not elves. Uh, or kobolds and the like so we don't have to be so terrified. Yeah, I agree. I do want to go back to your point though. I think he was the first person who saw us and didn't immediately freak out about it. Yeah, that's true. Oh, did you look at him? But that's my point.
He probably deals with something similar to us, so talking to him about the dream you had, you could maybe get him on our side and maybe he knows some kind of, if they're having some underground cabal, maybe he knows secret tunnels or ways to go about unnoticed or different ways we could sneak around. Maybe it could be helpful for our subterfuge.
I know you don't like when I make a good point, Scrim. I just don't want to talk to him. Is it because his breath smells? It's everything about him. It's just a vibe. It's a whole thing, you know? It's a whole thing. It is true. If he truly worships the creature that stalks you, you might think that you have some relation to that.
He might...he might seek to become an acolyte of yours. That sounds like a nightmare. I do not need a guy like that following me around. I've got enough problems as it is. It might not be bad if we had some kind of cabal that responded to you. Alright. Are you saying that he might be able to be brought in as some sort of prophesized savior? Or some sort of one who was foretold?
Blessed by the god that the dog that they worship and serve and might be able to control the cabal? All of this feels like a very, very, very, very, very short cut to sacrifice. I don't hate that idea, Mr. Fireface. If anybody could spin that tale, it would be Scrim. All right. Nice, ain't true. I'm leaving it up to you and him. Talk to the guy, we leave under the cover of darkness. I care not. Great. It is your curse, Scrim.
Yeah, well, if it was my choice, I'd say we let's shake a leg and get out of this place. Then we will do just this. I think that our only shot here, the only lead that we have, tax no help, no offense, Tack, is this Supervert. All right, can we stop calling him the Supervert? At this point, it's like we're projecting a lot, you know?
We gotta tone it back on the soup. Beacon of perverts. While y'all were sleeping, Tack told me he's had sex before. Oh my god. He's a strapping young lad, I suppose. Anyway. This is a surprise to you. Well, no, it's not a surprise to me. I just, I asked him if he knew what a certain word meant and he said, well, I've had sex. We have to talk about Tack having sex.
I don't think we have to. We definitely don't have to. Well, I mean, if we're gonna talk about perverts, I feel like we should get it all out there. Tech's clearly a pervert. A loud fart emanates from where Tech is sleeping. All right, I'm gonna go knock on his door. That's it. Oh, you think that's a good idea, Mr. Steff? I can't stay here. And ask about perhaps magical trinkets and relics and things that can have magical properties where the sorceresses and dark priests live. Do you want us to come with you? If you want. All right, I'll come. Here we go.
We'll go knock on his door. We'll try to go find his living quarters. I'll come with you as well. You should stay here. We're going to go knock on his door. We're going to try to find his living quarters. You two should stay here.
You stay with Tak and Barnabas, Queenie, and Scrim, you are the ones-- I'm staying-- yeah. I'm staying with Yornir. 'Cause Yornir is Grimnir. Oh, that's a good point. And Taishan is fully hidden that he's actually a Golden Dragon. That's a good point, too. So we don't-- we don't can't let anyone see their faces. And Tak will not be helpful. That's a good point. So the three of us who don't have to, like, desperately hide, we'll go.
You start to... You open the door and you make your way down the hall to the stairs and you start to make your way and you are about...
quarter, maybe a third of the way down the stairs when you hear voices. It's 10:11 at night and you can hear the murmur of the room, the people who are wrapping up dinner, enjoying the last remnants of their drinks, that sort of thing, just engaged in casual conversation. But you're close enough to the front entrance that you can hear the voice of Nimrod El. I would walk up to him and say,
Nimrodel. Before you reach Nimrodel, you hear him say, no, no, no, no one of that description. As soon as I hear that, I'm like, I would back up and put my arm to the, I'm just completely blank, Barnabas and Queenie's names, and basically be like, no, no, I haven't seen anyone that matches those descriptions. I see.
What a guy, Gator. Very good. Good night.
And he closes the door and turns and you can hear him sort of stop at the front podium, sort of doing whatever business he needs to do. You have a sense that if you wanted to go out now before he started attending to the other patrons, you'd be able to. I would like poke my like, just my face ever so slightly around the corner and be like, "Psst! Psst! Of course, yes!" And he gets up, walks over.
Do you need more snacks? No. Anything I can do for you at all? Nimrodel. I feel bad now. I owe you an apology. We all do. No, you haven't wronged me in the least, no. That you're aware of. We've been rather rude and cold.
They were calling you a soup pervert. We all called you a soup pervert. It was completely unwarranted. Why? Because we're immature, we're mean. We're weary from the travel. We haven't learned. Who the hell puts beef, beans...
in dynamite beef. - You travel delirious. - We don't have any beef, I was trying to be as accommodating as I could. - Who calls a meatless soup a stew? - If it was not appreciated, then I-- - No, it was great, essentially delicious. - We're sorry. - No, no, it was really good. - We saw, we heard what you did for us. - I can hear it. - Just now, we heard what you did for us just now and we can, we can't, there's nothing we can do to repay you. You've helped us out and, and,
You know, I came here to ask you some questions, 'cause I'm having a hard time, and we overheard what you did for us, and we're extremely grateful. He looks at those eating, and he says, "Let's quiet ourselves upstairs for a moment, just very quickly." Sure. There's a lot of rumors all around town about a gang of individuals who crashed a sledge into a tavern.
Yep. Yeah, it was an accident. That they had gold? Well, that's not... Yeah, that's not really true anymore. That they had an ogre that was supposed to be there under the mountain, guarding against the trolls? That's him. I'm not here to ask any questions, but it seems that you are in need of assistance. In all reality, we are just passing through. And we think we might have been led to this inn by divine prophecy. You see...
Scrim had a dream. We don't know if it's true or not, but we believe in these kinds of things. And you seem like the type that might believe in this kind of stuff too. Scrim, go ahead and take it away. Just wanted to learn a little bit more about your religion. Ever since you mentioned it to me, I've been a little off and I don't know why. It's a long history. We elves, we here on Drakkar, we...
aren't well suited to the ice and the snow, but making our way eventually we became unfortunately due to an encounter, well, to put it mildly, cursed. And to keep the curse at bay, we have our little worships and our little prayers and our little blessings and my way of serving that greater purpose is running this in.
Doing my best to be the best servant I can so that I might petition the princess to finally allow me to pass on. Okay, one thing at a time. So all the elves are cursed here? Our entire lineage, yes. Is this why you formed a cabal?
Yes, it's the name that we give ourselves, the Shadow Vale Cabal. Oh, God. You are doing these acts of kindness to hold off the curse. Does it help? No, no, no, no. We don't all do acts of kindness. You see, it is a... You have to understand, I'm very old. I am going to turn 30 next year.
30? Like 3-0? Oh yes. Yes. 30, can you believe it? I wanna die. Well he isn't that quite young for an elf. If we were allowed to just live on, it could be centuries of life, yes. But the- the- explain! 30's not that old. 30 is like- Even in human years, 30 ain't that old. 30 is like 17, just normally. Like, you're barely an adult. For us, 30 is old.
We try to gift our years, Gehenna, to that lower plane. Who is Gehenna? It is a place. It is a realm, a plane, a domain. It is an evil place. But if we failed to continue gifting our many centuries of life to sustain it in whatever purpose it chose to curse us with, we would all pass into oblivion.
So you are quite literally giving your time to this place. It is a sacrifice. And it shortens your life. It is a sacrifice I make gladly. And I am hoping to do the most good I can. It is my bucket list. The way that I will celebrate this life, as short as it is. All right. And then the last question is, you need permission to pass on from the princess. Well, you see, the method of our departure involves...
bit of nasty business and unfortunately the princess holds the keys. Okay, all right, all right. What does that mean? Uh, are you sure you want to hear all of this? Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure now, yeah, I'm pretty sure. Well, the nature of our curse is each of us is stalked by very shadowy hound-like figures. Actually almost like a companion.
And when it is time for us to move on, we are devoured. And we killed our souls sent to this lower plane for whatever nefarious purpose it's... This plane of Gehenna. Exactly right. How were you all cursed? You'd have to ask the elders. How old are they? Like, 24? Well, one...
I understand close to a thousand. Oh wow, so that person just hasn't given up the... She lives her sacrifice to keep the knowledge, to keep the traditions passing down. Like a grandfather or a grandmother or a great-great... I have no idea. Alright. You know, I was gonna try to avoid it. But here we are. I have a feeling that yours truly has the exact same curse. What makes you think that? It's...
Seems impossible. It seems impossible? We've never heard of anyone other than the elves here under Kaar, the Shadow Veil of... no. Well, it's a big world out there and sometimes dumb people do stupid things. What did you do? I signed a contract I couldn't read. Well, there's a little bit more to that as well, but I tricked a man out of a gold coin. He wasn't very happy about it. He more or less forced me under duress to sign the contract.
Which, to be fair, in a lot of places would make that thing null and void, but here we are. That doesn't line up with what I understand about our curse at all. Well... A gold coin? A gold coin? And I can tell you that I'm stocked. And I can't give the gold coin away, so don't get excited about the gold. I've tried. Every time I give the coin away, it comes right back. Well, the princess is not going to be very happy about that. Well, you know what? Neither am I. You know how many times I've spent that gold coin, though? It's the only good thing that's coming out of this curse. Hmm.
Do you need any more dynamite? No, no. Beans? No, we don't need dynamite, beans. What I need-- What can I do for you, really? More answers, maybe to meet these elders, maybe to learn a bit more about this place. You should go to the, it's a bit on the nose, the Cursed Glade. The district just on the southeast there. You'd be able to find our people there and
Do you learn as much as you do? Do you happen to have a way you think, well, as you know, we are high profile in the city right now. Do you happen to know of any way we could safely travel around the city without being noticed? We're not trying to cause any trouble. We're just trying to make our way in Jakar. And if there's a way where we could perhaps disguise our persons and appear as...
Humble inhabitants of this great city, that would make our lives much easier if there's any sort of magical relics or trinkets that might allow for some such effect. The solution is actually simple. You need to return the ogre. That is the Goliaths by right. The princess made them a gift and that is her word as she says.
But the princess is the only one who could grant you safe passage. I know no other way. You can't sneak or deceive. This can be a very violent city if you don't know your way around. I mean, we can't give the ogre back. What we could do is perhaps chat with the princess if that seems to be an order, but we can parlay and we can work out some sort of arrangement.
Would you like me to facilitate? I feel a little strange calling upon the princess, but... If you think you could. Well, maybe we should talk to Grimnar. Oh, yeah, that's right. Grimnir should know what to do with his infinite wisdom.
We should talk to our leader and find out if it's a good idea for us to be calling on the princess just yet. But if that's the route we wanted to go, we could beseech you to call upon her for us, potentially. Or I could, uh, hide the ogre here while you go do whatever it is you need to do and find the princess that way. Or I could, uh, uh...
go and perhaps talk to my brethren and see if they have a solution. Anything, anything at all to help, really. I think that that's a much better idea. If you could just keep our friend tacked nice and safe and sound and hidden, we can initiate a parlay ourself and set the terms in a way that is not perhaps colored by the opinions or influences on you or your organization. It's a pretty big risk for me, but...
Could be perhaps a page of entries. I'm going to ask this question even though I already know the answer to this one. I'm guessing nobody's ever figured out a way to break the curse. If we had found out a way over thousands of years, we would have broken it. Thousands of years. Oh, that doesn't sound good at all. No, you know it does not. People like me are a bit strange. I don't know if you've noticed, but most...
They try to, in as few years as possible, do as many great things that they would want to do in their whole lives if they had those centuries. They have families, they get married, they do great works of art. They spend those few precious moments, those tiny years, in comparison to the true scope of what our lives should be so that our tribe can live on. Alright, we should go talk to the others.
And if you need any apples or carrots or anything at all, I have tea. I... You've done more than enough. We appreciate it. Gehenna's blessing.
and he turns and he starts to make his way down the hallway. And as he does, you see a figure stomping up the same stairs. And you see a human man start to pass him. They cross paths, but he stumbles...
blind drunk past the three of you and opens a door across the way, finding and stumbling into his own room, seemingly, before closing in. Do I recognize him? Yes, you recognize him as the same man that you first saw after crashing into the tavern as he stumbles into a room and closes and locks the door behind him. The three of you make your way back, opening the door. Taishen, Yornir, Tank are all three there. How have you spent the time?
If you have been doing anything that you want to at that time. Through the door, maybe while they were out there, you might overhear very faintly, "That dumb, nuts-looking, creepy-voice-having, old-ass-looking, expensive-gifts-having, black-blade-using, old-ass-super-ver-vings!" That's super-verving!
That's not man. Stupid pervert. Brother, you tried to kill us. That's pretty funny. And then the door opens and you see your three companions, allies, walk into the room. You survived. How did it go? Wow.
Nimrodel's actually a really nice guy. What? Yeah, no, I feel, we shouldn't call him the super pervert anymore. The pervert? No, don't call him that. We put that upon him. It's not even true. We stumbled downstairs and we saw him at the door. Someone had come looking for us and he pretended like he had never seen us. He protected us and he had no reason to. He could have gotten himself in a lot of trouble if he'd been found out.
But he kept our cover. He's a good guy. I don't understand. He's offered to call the princess for us. Set up a meeting if we wanted to. He even offered to house Tak for us and to keep him safe and protected so we don't have to give him back. He also... Apparently the Goliaths have been given the ogres by the princess. Which is...
unthinkable, the Goliaths that I've known have believed in freedom and would never accept that. These people are strange. If we want to find Daisy and see where she may be, we will need to go into Giant'sist? The Giant's Step. Giant's Step. The Giant's Step district. It is better if the ogre stays here. Right. Also, all the elves, they're all cursed. Horrible cursed. Same curse as me.
Gehenna's a place. Lower plane. Is this the pl- You told us about your experience getting transported, right? Yeah, but I don't know where I went. Is this the place that you were transported to? I don't know. I mean, where I went was awful. And he said that place was pretty awful. If I'm doomed to be hunted down and consumed and then my soul sent to Gehenna, and that ogre thought he was sending me to ogre heaven, which we know isn't a real thing.
Maybe I'm already claimed, and where I briefly went was... Gehenna. Did you ask him about the horrible vision that you saw? Of the legs? I didn't want to get into it. Well, this is fine. The point is, they're all cursed. There's no way to break it. They donate their years! They just want to die. Forever! They donate their life to Gehenna. The guy's only 30, he thinks that's ancient.
They donate their lifespan? Yes! And they said there's an elder who's like a thousand years old, maybe, and she's like the keeper of the stories and might be the only person who has any idea of any of this stuff. And they're the district before the giant step. So I mean, if we gotta go all the way around anyway,
We could stop and swing through, and you could let them know we're coming. The good people! Just to give you a quick orientation, this is the giant step. Southeast is where the cursed blade is. Damn it, it's not even close. I thought that one was giant step. I promise to have a drawn map for you next time, I just... Either way. Well, it's not even close. So, I don't know. He offered to watch Tack. Tack will be safe.
I'm gonna pay him back anyway. Gotta make up for all the awful things we said and all the stuff he did for us. But I don't know how we're gonna get all the way over to... He called it the... Accursed Glade. Like, we won't even go there. They're all good people and... They're just as screwed as I am. Well, the good news is that if they have not found a way to break the curse, perhaps you can be at ease. That there's not more you can be doing. Doesn't seem like there is. Come to terms.
And if you do not choose to give the rest of your years... I wouldn't even know... There is no further curse. I wouldn't even know how to go about doing that. Well, and if there's an elder that's lived for thousands of years... Maybe it won't come for you before your natural time. Yeah, maybe. What a nightmare, huh? Yeah, it sucks. We need a plan.
Giant step, learn what has come of the vassals and the ogres. They could be an ally in our parlay if it turns to violence. Remember that the triad told us three paths, all of which could be our fate. We should keep an open mind to all of them. So under the cover of dark, I think we should go. I'll turn my head up. We should move quickly. We must keep in mind that all of this happens with...
Secundus on his way. That's a wonderful nightmare. I will look a little bit like, kind of distracted and sullen. I'll just nod as I'm kind of like, fidgeting with the shell. I'll kind of be holding it in my hand, and I'll just nod and say, hi, to the Goliaths. All right, I need five minutes before we go, as we're preparing, all right? Everybody get ready, give me five minutes. Yes. And what I would like to do is find...
Take just a knife, a dagger, whatever, and maybe find some spare cloth or whatever and cut out a large enough square where I could create a makeshift sack. And put 25 gold coins in it and wrap it up tight and make it look like it's just a cloth wrapped up thing.
and bind it with something, you know, and just keep it all together and put that in my pocket separately. Okay. All right, I'm ready when you are. We should let Nimrodel leave. No, we're leaving before we head out. Is there anything else we need to do before we go? Let's pack more while we're leaving. Yeah. I don't know if we mentioned. He did mention that we're going to have to return the ogre, which obviously we're not okay with, but it's the princess's orders and what she says goes, so there's a chance that we might not come back here.
There's a chance that we don't see Tak again. We need to be prepared for that. I know we met him 12 hours ago. Perhaps less. But I grew fond of him already. What? I feel a kinship with him. He will be better off here, being helped by this generous soul than being thrown back in chains with the Goliaths. I just, we gotta make sure he's all right.
You all feel a certain kinship with Tak, and it feels, though you might not know it, in your heart you feel the weight of the ogre people in him. The symbolic representation of everything that you experienced in those people's lives that you were suddenly thrust into and engaged with. In many ways, Tak is...
a representation of everything that you experienced in your first true settlement of Drakkar. And with a heavy heart, you start to make your way out of... unless there's anything else you want to do. I would just want to tell Nimrodel that we're leaving and, like, make sure he knows that we're heading out.
And have just a moment to say goodbye. He has two final customers that he is finishing, and he gives you a hand before finally finishing attending to theirs. He picks up a few plates and then, holding them still, yes. We're gonna head out. Tack's upstairs, he's asleep. Is there anything else we can do before we go? No, no. Do you... How can I take care of Tack? What should I tell him when he wakes up? Just let him know that we're
We're gonna go check things out. He's gotta stay quiet, he's gotta stay hidden. Right. And hopefully we'll be back. You don't look like anyone else here in the city. You must not be found. Noted. And, uh, I just wanted to thank you for everything. And apologize again for the way that we treated you. It was wrong. And, uh, whatever you do...
Don't let anyone find this. And I slip the 25 gold coins wrapped up in cloth into his pocket while his hands are full. I just put them in his pocket. Don't let anyone find them. Fuck. What is it? Open it later. Very good. When you get to the giant stem, you'll see a lot of barracks and halls and they are...
A bad day for them is one that doesn't have spilled blood. They are fighters. Understand? I guess so. Are you... What will you do when you get there? We're looking for someone. If you know what you're looking for, then I won't get in your way. The humans that they brought from the Ogre Town. We understand that they were taken perhaps to the Giant's Step before being moved elsewhere in the city.
Only the ogres came. There were no more humans that came, that arrived. The only human I know is asleep upstairs in one of my smaller rooms. He doesn't earn very much as a poet. Would she have taken... If she had taken humans, she gifted ogres to the Goliaths. Would she have gifted humans to...
Someone else. Somewhere else. I think news travels quickly here in Argentholm. I imagine we would all know if another group of humans had arrived. But perhaps. What about, does anyone ever see her hoard where she has all of her gold, where she would take anything that she has? Only those special kobolds, the ivory clutch. They live in the Biting Bastion.
all alone with her. What is it? The Biting Bastion. It is not a place for guests. It is an assembly yard where we occasionally come together as a city. And she has her way with words. No one's seen her hoard. I imagine that she is still trying to gather as much gold as she can.
Is there anything other than gold that she values as highly or higher? She would tell you the defense of Drakkar. She would tell you that she only cares about this land and that she is trying to unite us, all of us, together here and across the whole continent, north, south, east, and west, to be ready for some coming threat. All right. This is useful, thank you.
We should not waste any more time. Let us go. Thank you, again. I can prepare some dynamite, jackfruit. No, no, please, no. Unnecessary. You've done plenty. Very good. I'll, uh, get his blessing.
He turns and he starts to make his way back to the kitchen with the emptied plates and no sound emerges from his pocket as he disappears from view. You walk out and the cold blowing wind and snow hits you. No longer in the warmth of the lively, not lively, but running tavern and inn, you walk out and the street is
effectively empty. Looking up and down, you can see that you might have to dodge a few body or two, but you can, you would, as long as you keep your eyes open, be able to see a figure coming from any, almost any distance, now that it is a clear night with only a few small flecks of snow drifting through the air, seemingly blown up from the wind. I would, I think, just turn and start to head towards where I think the giant
step is now that the streets and alleys are clear. With my hood up and sort of low, you know, if we can look like five little suit perverts with trench coats. Turns out we were the suit perverts all along. Slinking through the streets. You endeavor to all hide your forms as much as possible with what you have on you. You've prepared for it inside and you start to make your way north.
The five of you, disguised as best you can, are walking, and you see your footsteps in the snow on the sort of almost cobblestone. It's...
not quite cobblestone. It doesn't have that same rounded texture, but the streets here have been worn by centuries of footfall, it seems. So it's a very smooth path. And avoiding the ice as much as you can, you start to make your way down through the streets. And you realize pretty quickly that if you follow the main streets, it could be a pretty direct path to...
a way up, the Giant's Step being a district that seems to be a higher elevation than the marketplace, or at least where you're coming from in the marketplace, as close to the lake as you were. And very quickly, the cold air and the breeze blows away that smell that pervades this lower neighborhood, this sort of poorer marketplace. And
You see a few figures start to approach and you realize very quickly that these are frost hammered kobolds and they are walking directly in your direction. They don't seem to have noticed you just yet. What are you all doing? I think as soon as we see someone, we would duck into an alley and try to cut and take a different path. Just trying to be as stealthy as possible, basically. But not looking like we're
Fucking Scooby-Doo creepy. Yeah, trying to remain out of sight. Okay. You get to the next small alley and you turn and duck in. It is fortunate that the kobolds are on the other side of the street, missing your footsteps in the snow or perhaps observing them and not taking any care. But they walk by and you have a few...
hushed moments of silence and tension as you continue to make your way eventually, waiting for them to pass.
once they are out of sight, you get back onto the street. And there is a shift, a change in what was these much older buildings to a district that seems to have been remade, remade in the image of these tribesmen. Instead of these larger, more traditional housing, you see huge... What are they called?
Like watchtowers, almost. There are towers that seem to dot along all up and down this district. You can see that there are walls that surround buildings. This district seems very much to be a reflection of the Goliath's temperament, and they have remade it with their own people, their own culture in mind.
As you start to approach, you realize there are only main streets thoroughfares that go into this space. There are no alleys. It looks like you would have to either send a wall in order to perhaps escape a detection, or approach what are very clearly Goliath sentries. No, this is a dead end. Are we stuck? Can you get us through? I could try.
But then are we trapped? We're not getting out! It will not be as easy as the last time. We gotta make sure we really want to go in there before we do, because there might not be any turning around. I can get us through. Nooyi, this is where we are going, and we mean to find the survivors from Ogerton. There's only one path forward. There's no turning back now. You'll see me shift. My height really won't change.
but I'll go from blue to gray and I will take that same Grimnir appearance. Okay. With the aggressive scar and tattoos. You all watch as his features shift and morph and reshape and in almost a blink of an eye, Grimnir stands before you. Just look grim and determined. Good. Okay. Easy.
Hail! As I approach the sentries. You walk up and they are, um, they had been standing alert, but you hear the callback to, and response. Who goes there? My name is Grimnir the Pilgrim. I have come from far off lands to offer my services to the princess. You come from homeland.
Many years ago, yes. But it has been centuries since I have returned. You have not been with Thrive this whole time? Yes, I have been wandering. I've been blessed with the gift of second sight and a naturally long life. And they call me Grimnir, the pilgrim. They both sort of look at each other in confusion. And your companions? They are my companions.
companions from far off lands, as it is hopefully evident to you. Step closer into the torchlight. And this would have all been in giant, by the way. So I don't know if they're responding in kind. Yes, they are responding in giant. If you said hail in giant, then they would have been speaking to you in their native tongue. And then in common, I'll switch. Let us approach. I would listen to your near and follow. The four of you follow your near, Grimnir, up to the two...
up to the two centuries standing there. I am Garvax, this is Thorval. What brings you so late at night? We have important business that we must attend to. I cannot elaborate any further. And if you must know, as a powerful sorcerer, my strength is...
greatest at night when the moon is high in the sky. It is just a few days to half moon and the night is high in the sky, shedding its light down through the occasional cloud that drifts overhead. The sky is filled with brilliant stars and they look at the sky and they look at you. Sorcery, magic,
There are rumors spreading around the city of this group of foreigners who have come to the city. Are you them? We have only just arrived. It is unlikely that word of our arrival has spread. There are many travelers across the land of Drakkar. How did you come into the city? Not through the marketplace, I think. I...
Make an intimidation check. That's exactly the right call there.
Very wonderful. Uh, uh, uh, twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-twit-tw
Fucking go! Grand total of 25. The air crackles around your ear, Grimnir. Gorvax turns to Tharval and they look at each other and warriors as fierce as this know muscle, but it is the insinuation of the powerful magics that you wield that causes them to hesitate.
fumbling with his horn on one side, he releases it and grips the end of a great battleaxe instead, just out of a just-in-case maneuver. And what are you here for, the giants? What brings you to our tribe? As I mentioned before, there is business that we are on in the various districts of the city that we cannot elaborate upon.
And if you wish to avoid the princess's wrath, I suggest you let us through. He leans over and whispers for a moment into Thorvald's ear, and he turns and whispers back, You could be bringing danger. You could be bringing violence. You could be bringing death. You could be bringing assassination.
We cannot trust you to walk alone. As a proud goliath, you fear violence, you fear death, you fear danger? What kind of goliath are you? I cut my own eye out to gain great sorcery and you stand here guarding a gate with an axe? We would not leave our tribe unprotected. We would... We cannot let you pass. We will follow.
"This is fine, as long as you let us in." He makes a gesture and the two sort of step to the side and you can see this long, these extremely wide, much wider than the paths in the marketplace to accommodate their great size and their need for open space. And you, torches light the way.
If you know where you are going, then go. Touche. I will say, in common, let us proceed. Where are we planning to go, specifically? I think we would be looking for wherever the ogres are being held, or where they're located. I can't help. Move aside. You may enter.
And I'll start walking, like doing that Gandalf walk with purpose, you know what I mean? Like sort of speed walking. Yeah, yeah. Um...
And I'm gonna just start walking into the district like I know where I'm going, with purpose. They give you a berth of about 50 feet before you feel that they are starting to walk behind you and follow you into the giant step. And walking past the buildings, you can see that many of them are here for forging weapons. There are many eateries, cafeterias almost, for...
these groups to assemble and talk after training, and there is indeed training grounds, wide open spaces where you can imagine during the day would be filled with the sounds of clashing metal and the sounds of sweat as they undergo whatever harsh training a goliath like this, a tribe like this, would see fit for its own. Walking deeper, make a perception check for me. - Mmm.
- 21. - Nice. - 21. It doesn't take you very long for you to figure out that you are on one of the spokes of a hub. This district is almost like a large circle with a number of paths that lead to a central building, and that very likely you are headed directly towards the center of governance or authority in this particular district. - As I walk through, I will say,
Do not delay. Let us keep up. And I am going to, with trying to sort of almost make a show of it, they'll see if they're behind me and it's dark, they'll see from my hood, like a blue glow sort of expand and then reduce as my eye glows and I cast Locate Creature. Badass. For the next hour,
Within a thousand feet, I am looking for a named person or the closest type of creature to that person. So I'm looking for manias or an ogre of any kind. Let me just tell you exactly how it's worded.
- The spell can locate a specific creature known to you or the nearest creature of a specific kind. So basically that creature or-- - What's the duration? - An hour. - An hour. - And picking up what you're putting down, as soon as your sorcery flashes, I'll probably like, I mostly use this hooded figure, you hear
as like the crab legs will like scuttle out from under my robe. And I'll use a charge of rage to like have a crab claw kind of snap out like I'm some like chaos mutant that has been mutated by Grimnir as one of these strange, mysterious, other foreign entities. Scrim, Taishan, Queenie, what are you doing in these moments now that you've crossed the threshold into this district?
I would very much be trying to just follow Yorneir in a way that is very like clear that I work for him, right? Like, you know, like subservience almost, right? Like whether I'm at his side trying to act like I'm, you know, helping him or ready to assist him. It would very much be like I'm not, I don't spoken less spoken to, I'm speaking less spoken to and try to look like, you know, I'm in awe and fear of this, this man. Um...
I would be following your near closely as well and as we in like very much the night as we approach any
type of like torchlight, and I'd be pulled up also like hooded. I'd be trying very hard to not let any of the light hit my scales. And as we approach any form of torchlight, I would be very carefully and subtly manipulating the edge of the flame to not reach out and...
and end right before it touches you. This creates a slight effect where as you are walking, there's almost a darkening around the five of you. And the flames are afraid. The flames tremble in our wake. These guys are going to need serious therapy. Yeah, let's go. I will send the bees ahead of us, almost as kind of like a...
Like, almost like a red carpet. They just kind of like light the way, just following along with where Yorneir's looking and seeing what he's doing, figure out where they need to go, so it almost looks as if I am helping to keep his path clear for him. These effects all combine and you glance behind you to keep tabs on the following guards, and you see not two figures now, but five.
They seemingly are sort of doing this to other sentries that you're passing along the way as you're walking farther and farther down the street and now whispering to more and more guards as they are watching these strange magics unfurl and they're
their steps slow and then sort of catch back up. You can feel the fear in these Goliaths' hearts as you look back and they are endeavoring to pump up their numbers. You get another 15 minutes, 20 minutes forward before you locate Creature.
Shit.
Without a word, I'll just continue on and I'll head to that building. With a preternatural sense of where to go, and you almost sense in Yornir that shift where you were walking straight and all of a sudden it's like the pace already fast doubles and you start to turn and you make your way around a few buildings before eventually seeing this large, huge, almost...
domed building that is at the center of this district. You see a structure. It almost looks like a large barn.
It has two huge open entrances to it, and you start to walk directly towards it. You know you're near as you approach this massive building, this huge structure that Manius is within. But you're struck by the fact that you don't see just Manny when you walk in through the doors. The torchlight illuminates, and you can see hundreds of ogres are within this space. They are all almost in pens, waiting, sleeping,
just almost like cattle in this large space, not in a dormitory or something along those lines, but clearly being treated as lesser. And you know that at the very far end, past these ogres on either side, is Manning. As we walk into the barn,
I will bring everyone inside. And if they've been training us like a far ways back... I would say they're now like 75 feet back, but there are a dozen of them, having spent so much time walking and them pulling more and more to their ranks. Are there any more... Are there any Goliaths inside this barn? No. I will just shut the door and bar it if I can or lock it.
Behind us. As soon as they realize what you're doing, you see their pace pick up to a jog, but you are all inside and you watch your near closing one door, and it does not take very much for the other four of you to help and slam it closed. There doesn't appear to be any interior locking mechanism, but you are able to close it. It's not like there's one of those beams that can land in one of the holders or anything along those lines, but you close it and you feel a click.
All right. And at this point, I'm presuming I'm not disguised. So I look like a fear bog. All right. So we need to either get out of here unseen or try to lose them or unleash the ogres on these goliaths. I say we unleash all the ogres on them.
If we do that, we're putting their lives at risk. They might be injured or wounded or certainly killed. We can do it and we can definitely escape in the chaos, but what are we going to do then? Then what? What would the princess's response be then as well? What if she gave them as a gift and if they get out of line, she just swoops in and thinks they're not worth the concern? And we have no reason to believe that the ogres are going to attack and fight. They could...
They could cower and be afraid. I mean, think about how Tack is. He doesn't always resort to violence. He's a gentle soul, and they could just barge in here and just slaughter him, all because we unlocked their cages. Barnabas, keep an eye on the door. Make sure no one gets through. If anyone tries to get through, they're going to get an anchor into their fucking skull.
I'm very clearly like extremely enraged and like my veins are bulging. My skin is kind of like shifting underneath and like and and gyrating and I'm doing everything I can to to keep my calm the best I can. And I will walk across the barn to where Manny is. Manny, it is good to see you. You're near? Yes, it is us.
What... what happened? Where are the others? Where are the humans? Yoneer is back! Yes. What happened to you? We... were taken away, but we are back now. Is... is... where... where... where... where did the... the... the... the vassals... where did they go? Where are they? In Princess's house. Is this where all... how many ogres are left? Is this all of you? Are there more?
A few dozen went to other tribes, but most are here. And they are keeping you in these pens? Yes. Are you happy here? Do you want to leave? Not very comfortable. We could let you out. Would you like to be let out? Would you fight for your freedom? Yes.
Then I say we call the princess here right now! Let us claim the freedom of these ogres and we as all tribesmen of them to be held up equally at the right hand of this princess of wrath! And we can demand a trial by battle and we will slay anyone who gets in our way! She will respect that, I know, we saw it. She will respect a show of might, a show of strength.
Let's join forces with all of these souls. Start releasing them. Do we have, like, from the outside, is it openable, or do we have to, like, break them out somehow? Oh, um, it seems that the ogres, it's not like they're in cages, right? They're in, like, the equivalent of, like, stables. Yeah, stables, like stalls, right? And so they hadn't,
taken the time to open and try to escape. They'd just been told that they were gonna sleep here and are sleeping here. I love this. Poor bastards. You do notice, and I think all of you would notice this, that they have cuts, bruises from some kind of injuries.
I will look around to see if anything in this area has like heavy things that could be used as clubs. Or spiked like makeshift clubs, makeshift sledges. Make an investigation check. For the ogres! That's pretty good. Oh! Investigation? Oh shit.
Skills, skills, skills, skills, skills, skills, skills, skills, skills. Skills, skills, skills, skills. 19. 19. With a 19, you look at the walls and you're hoping for metal anything. You're looking around and you're looking for clubs, anything. I'm looking for wood. I'm looking for... But you...
have a sudden solution appears to you as you look at the pens themselves. And these are not pens that have been with thin 2x4s or anything along those lines. These are hammered together what clearly once were straight branches from massive pine trees.
And even though no medium creature would be able to wrap their hand around the girth of each one of these logs, essentially, the large hand of an ogre would be able to wield such a thing as a weapon if you were to start pulling this timber apart. As soon as I realize that, my anchor will drop from the netting, and I'll pull it up, and I will smash...
I'll attempt to basically smash it to pieces as I will try to basically dismember all the logs break apart and I will attempt to start doing that. It'll take me some time, I presume. - All right, it looks like we're doing this. - Open all of the pens. - Okay. - All right, my friends, my crew, oh, survivors of Ogerton, all you have to do is claim the freedom yourselves, grab these logs, fire them,
any metal you can, pick them up, wheel them, and use your strengths, and it's quite simple, you smash them with a heavy end, and I'm going to try to basically smash apart all of the pens, find the lumber, and start passing things out to every single ogre that's there, and anyone who doesn't understand how to use it, I will show them with my anchor and anything else, and just show them how to swing, and how to
basically any kind of a... Like Goliaths, yes. They are... Clearly, when you make these motions, some of them almost seem like...
Oh yeah, no, we've been doing this for weeks. And the, um, some are wiping the sleep from their eyes, but immediately your rousing voice is getting them to their feet, and very quickly you're all standing, looking at the towering army of ogres that is now in your contingent. As Manius looks to each of you, we go from town, from city, we leave? Brought here we were.
You do not belong in these pens. Do you remember what I taught you about the triad? Yes. We are going to fight for Ogre Man and the land. You don't have to wait for an answer. Behind Manny is carved into his pen's wall the symbol that you taught him.
Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I will, as I see, as I'm done handing out all of the things or helping however I can, I'll have my anchor and I'll grip it very tightly looking at the door and I'll just kind of say to myself, are you here, my love? That's what you would do. We will fight! And I am going to basically look at your near and basically wait for like the go ahead to basically smash the doors open and like demand a parlay.
- Are they trying to get in? Like, do we feel like they're just sort of waiting for us to do our business? - You haven't heard anything since you closed the doors. You haven't heard a horn blow and there's been more than enough time for the Goliaths in a jog to have reached the doors and entered.
Is there a window we can look out of, like, near the doors or anything? Any way to see outside? Uh, yeah, you'd be able to make your way up some of the ladders and look down from the, um, uh, the sort of, like, top areas. There aren't any windows on this particular, uh, floor, just like a stable. I think I would've gone through a window while Barnabas is, like, cracking, like, wood and building a... Handle over hand, you make your way up, and as you're hearing Barnabas, uh, uh, essentially equipping this, uh, uh, uh,
You are hearing Yornir's voice talking to Manny and getting a sense of understanding of what's been happening in the months that have passed since you last saw him. And you walk up.
What are the two of you doing as this unfolds? I would have just been following, you know, directions from Barnabas and Yorner at this point, like, trying to roust the ogres that might have been asleep and open up the pens and basically be like, "Okay, go to Barnabas, get your standard-issue weapon, go ahead, go up to her, he'll show you what to do, go ahead, come on, go up this way, this way, yep, yep, come on, you too, come on," and, like, basically trying to just roust them and point them in the direction of where Barnabas is rallying people.
Okay, you are doing that. Queenie would be helping Barnabas as he would pry one of the clubs out. The bees would grab it and deliver it to an ogre, so that way Barnabas doesn't have to keep moving too much and can just keep crying. As strong as your storm is now,
You're breaking them apart like popsicle sticks. Just immediately, the swarm can go in and take what would normally be like 15 or so of these logs and they just splinter into perfect clubs and each one go to a Barnabas or to an ogre. When you reach the top, Taishen, you peek over the side and you see hundreds of torches.
There are an assembly of... Clearly the Goliaths have been doing the same work, waking their brothers, their sisters, and you're looking down at hundreds of shining bald heads that have assembled outside of...
the main building and into the street, going into alleys, clearly waiting for something, but they are all standing there, each one of them equipped with a metal weapon in hand, some of them a brutal mace, others swords, spears of all shapes and sizes, halberds and battle axes. Everybody, we're gonna have one heck of a fight on our hands. There's hundreds of them out there. They're amassing right outside the gate. I let them come.
May not turn to bloodshed yet, but if it does, we will die well. Once I feel like all the ogres are armed and free, I would walk up and I would have Manius stand beside me and I'll turn to Barnabas. I'll say, "You may open the doors." Hi, Mr. Grimnir! And with one massive swing of my anchor, I'd be set to splinter the doors open.
Make an attack roll. Imagine I got a natural 1 here. Can you attack recklessly? Just for free? I can, yeah, I can. Don't even need to. Natural 20, folks. The dice tell the story, folks. Natural 20, folks. I gotta trust the dice.
Unbelievable. Off of its hinges, both of these fly out like playing cards. They simply flap out and they nearly reach the assembled crowd that had just been standing outside of the door. A few of the Goliaths have to step back in order to get out of the way of the fragmented wreckage of these doors as they splinter into the snowy ground.
You see all of you on the bottom floor, the faces of all of these Goliaths, looking curious, furious, full of...
warlike energy. And Taishan, just as you see the doors get blown off and into the street, you see a part, almost like a dark bulb, start to make its way, the torches start to part and reclose as some figure continues to make its way towards the front line. And out walks Taishan.
very clearly one of the larger goliaths. He has a huge shoulder, a piece of armor on one side, a battle axe that is twice the size of any other, and clearly has a tremendous number of scars over his chest. And he looks up. He is also missing an eye.
And he stares out and into the towards the barn and you hear him cry out In there you! You will... I'm not gonna... Hold on. Come out you cowards! Come out and fight if you want to! We will take you down and kill all of you! Kolovac, the unbroken, challenges you to this fight! I will walk out of the barn.
hopefully with Manius beside me, I don't know how close they are, but I will now just be, my hood's down, I am my full fear-bulk self. I'm walking out there with you. My eye is glowing. Only him steps forward to meet you at the halfway point. I am Grimnir, the pilgrim, prophet of Drakkar. We are the defenders of this land, and you will step aside.
Magic or no, you have tried to take from us. You are trying to take what is rightfully ours. These ogres are not rightfully yours. They are part of our tribe. I claim responsibility for them. I train them to fight, to be like the other Goliaths. I will be fuming with rage, and I will...
move to step in between Grimnir and this goliath. As I'm probably shorter than this goliath. He matches Yornir's height. Yeah. I'm looking up and I will... I'll scan the crowd and look back at him and say...
We demand a parlay with the Princess of Wrath. They are not part of your tribe. We are the tribe of Ogerton and we demand equal place in this horde of Wrath that she has called forth here. So be it. He reaches down and pulls his own horn out. We wait.
And we will see what the princess has to say about her own decision to grant us these lives. And he spits on the ground and turns. And there's an unsettling amount of time not knowing what to look at or what to expect. I'll step forward and stand next to Barnabas. I'm clearly taller than this ogre. So I'll look down at him.
That's all. The ogres have sort of rushed to the door and are waiting for any motion from you. But there's this terrible still quiet. Only the sound of the flickering torches and the shuffle of feet as this standoff between you and this wall of Goliath continues to progress. 10, 15 minutes. Do you do anything with this time?
I'll give everybody else a chance, but... I will... As I scan the crowd, do I see any female Goliaths? Yes. Does anything... Would anything kind of spark any kind of memory? Not necessarily someone that looks familiar, but perhaps remind anything from my... Make a history check at advantage. Interesting. Interesting. 13. That'll be a 14. 14. You're looking into these eyes, and...
only seeing fear and distrust and hate. And it's those emotions, those negative emotions looking into their faces that tickle something in the back of your mind, but the door does not open. I will just simply nod to myself as I sit and I wait. Still angry, still tense, but...
A slight calm has come over me. I know you are with me, my love. Stand aside. We will not parley here in a barn.
We will go to her own keep. We will not let you go. And with this horn, she is already on her way. And she points up, and you can see this half-moon floating in the sky, these thin trails of clouds just in front of it, and you see this massive winged creature sail over them and
down and around. You are watching, and it is impossible to make out any of these features. You only see the predatory silhouette of the creature that you have come to know as the Princess of Wrath. And she starts to dive bomb directly towards the street that you find yourself on at an impossible speed, a speed that feels insane to you. And just as you think that she is about to collide, her wingspan
opens out to slow her speed and she transforms just 30 feet above the ground into a humanoid creature, a human, platinum blonde hair. She lands in the ground in front of you between you and the Goliaths.
massive tall frame, lithe, muscular, almost as though she's been chiseled from ice. And with her back to you, she looks at the warchief. She starts to turn and you see her cold pale blue eyes look upon you. Cold pale blue lips, her beautiful features as she turns and takes you in. And that is what we'll call tonight's session.
But we're not done. First of all, you are all level nine. Oh! We finally remember to say it on stream. Oh no, she's hard! Oh my god. Level nine! And the story is going to continue for a moment. That's the end of tonight's session, but the story is going to continue. Oh. What does it mean? Shit. Did we long rest? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we did. For sure. No, that was a good check, 'cause I also didn't. Oh, I shouldn't long rest. Yeah, you're right. Glad you said something. In the cold embrace of Drakkar's wilderness, Sigdis lived a life marked by the unrelenting cadence of survival.
The human Norveld tribe, her people, carved their existence from the frozen earth, their days a testament to endurance against the harsh realm, the hungry beasts that prowl in the dark and their isolated existence. Sigdis, with plain features, auburn hair, and caring eyes, was like any other in her tribe. Since childhood, her presence among the Norveld peoples had been as unremarkable as the snow underfoot.
She grew, and her world rarely changed under the gray skies of Drakkar until the day that Kostan entered her life. Kostan had been born misshapen, his form a cruel jest of nature. His appearance so grotesquely exaggerated earned him the scornful moniker of Giant, an insult that cut deeper each time it was uttered, for the Giants were despised enemies of the Norveld.
It became a constant reminder of his otherness, fueling a bitterness that no warmth could thaw. Sigdis heard the whispers, saw the disdain in the eyes of her kinsmen. He was quick to anger given the insult so frequently hurled his way and Sigdis knew that despite his physical strength he was viewed as a shame and a burden, even by his family.
The first meeting was a stark reflection of the harsh realities of Drakkar. Sigdis found herself dangerously outmatched by a pack of dire wolves. It was Kostan who emerged from the wilderness then. His monstrous strength was a spectacle of raw power and he dispatched the beasts with bloody efficiency.
Sigdis watched, her heart caught between terror and awe as he stood defiant in the blood-stained snow. In that moment, a connection stirred between them, born of shared survival and unspoken understanding. Life in the tribe dredged onward, slow and unyielding like the icy rivers of the land they lived on. Until the day that Sigdis would become an unwilling participant in a tragedy that unfolded within Kostan's family.
Lured by the sounds of shouting and the mad light of growing flames, Sigda found herself running to Kostan's homestead. Kostan's father, a man as large and as barbaric as the frozen wilderness itself, his gray hair a testament to his survival in a land that spared few, stood before their burning home, casting blame upon his wife and daughter. The building, it would seem, had caught ablaze from a careless knocked-over brazier.
Kostan's father faulted his wife and daughter for the accident and commanded Kostan to end both of their lives there and then. The rageful command to Kostan was unthinkable, yet Kostan had always been caught by the relentless grip of his father's will. Sigdus watched in shock as he carried out the deed with a heart as cold as ice.
Crushing the lives out of his mother and sister with a massive mining hammer pulled from the neighboring tool shed. The aftermath was a tragic tableau of blood and fire. The two bodies lying broken against the snow. Kostan's resolve was shattered. And this time, it was Sigbis who emerged from the wild.
Her voice, barely more than a whisper, became the catalyst for his vengeance. "Your father," she implored, "he is the one. You have to, you have the strength. Free yourself from him."
Her words ignited a rage within Kostan that would persist evermore, easily dwarfing the blaze that consumed his home. Sigdis, her heart heavy with the weight of what was unfolding, watched the blur of motion and emotion as the two men clashed and fought. Their struggle was not brief, nearly caving in the adjacent shed, smearing it with their blood, splintering the wood in violence. When Kostan finally slayed the embodiment of his torment, wrath found its voice.
"You made me do this!" he roared. Again and again he brought the hammer down with anger and sorrow and release. He shouted the words again, "You made me do this!" until his father's skull was but matted gray hair. Sigdis saw in Costan then not a monster, but a man tormented by forces beyond his control, even himself. Their bond, forged by that fateful night, was a complex mingling of suffering and empathy.
Interesting.
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