Icebound | Ep. 11 | Tree of Life
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Derek Hudson and you're listening to Icebound. Here's what happened last time. ♪♪

This is perhaps a ritual stone as well. One where there might be sacrifices. Splat! All of you hear the cracking of bones as a young silver dragonborn child crashes from the cliff top a thousand feet ahead, crushing the runes in front of your near. Oh my god, what happened? All five of you can hear very faintly.

The sound is coming from a procession of robed silver dragonborn. They just killed a child! I understand, but there's a lot more of them than there are of us! I suggest we accept our fate and we confront them. This is necessary. You have to understand, please. This is a dead child! It is our way. You believe that this is... You do not do this, that the son will be gone forever.

It is a day of celebration. If this day goes by and that child does not return to us, I'll smash your skull in with an anchor. How does that sound? It is a deal. Their ways killed this child. The wrong way.

See what he's doing, he's comparing the size of his thumb to the sun on

the horizon and looking at it has it shrunk? It is because of the princess of wrath that we are so few. This land has been taken from us. The white dragon she hunts you? It was her will to

see us erased. Checking the sun and like seeing if it's moving at all. It does indeed seem smaller, redder. It's almost at this stage the size of like a pinhead. She wants to speak to us alone. She is our leader, our seer. For many winters I have looked into the fire, felt that you would be coming. I am the first of the Circle of the Woolly Rhino for...

centuries. I was the first to learn to bind myself to the land in the way that the others have. To be able to return on holy days, to celebrate midwinter. Were it not for the five of you, this catastrophe can only be avoided because of some action that you take. Let each champion speak in turn, in the order that answered the call. You must walk out.

to meet with her. And you are walking out onto a plain of almost nothingness. Five feet, ten feet. You're out beyond the edge of the cliff. Drakkar calls for aid.

and the goddess of the sea will answer. First to answer, we commit Tidehunter Barnabos Dreadwake, our champion, to lend our support in finding the coming catastrophe, in fighting the coming catastrophe and defending Drakkar. They are strong, experienced, determined. - I pledge my anchor, my claws, my teeth and tail to prevent calamity. - You're now level six.

Drakkar calls for aid and the gods of the land will answer. Second to answer, we commit. Shaman, you're near our champion to lend our support in fighting the coming catastrophe and defending Drakkar. They are devout, selfless, vigilant. Yes, this is my destiny. I will complete my pilgrimage. Your will is my command.

Drakkar calls for aid. The Valor of Avantris will answer. Third to answer, we commit Queenie of Foxbridge, our champion, to lend our support in fighting the coming catastrophe and defending Drakkar. They are brave, kind, wise. You have my bow. Drakkar calls for aid, and the setting sun Fu Zhao will answer.

Fourth to answer, we commit Taishan Fireblossom, our champion, to lend our support in fighting the coming catastrophe and defending Drakkar. They are generous, flexible, mindful. I want to help you, and...

I'll pledge myself to it. I feed the champion. Champion's a little strong, don't you think? Bastard man in that tavern. God's damn contract. Two clawed paws suspend your feet as you look down. You can see a terrifying hound's face looking up at you, grinning. Please, please, I want to survive. I want to live through this. I want my

my friends to be okay. That's all I've got left, is my friends. Please, I'm begging you. Whatever contract I sign, whatever I did, fine. But please, just let me get through this. That's all I'm asking. Speak the word. I, I pledge myself as champion to Jakar and all that jazz and all the good stuff, et cetera, et cetera. The fine print, whatever they may be. Please, please, I pledge myself champion. I'll fix it.

The five of you are standing transformed. Thank you for what it is that you have to do. I have no idea. Not truly. I will continue to watch with great interest. But before we can discuss further, we must save the seasons. We must call the sun back to us. Let us first determine who is Midwinter father and mother. They will be required for this final step. You stand now.

at the peak of a great mountain somewhere in the northwestern reaches of Drakkar, a place of power. From this vantage point you can see in all directions, even in the steadily dimming light. The day of winter solstice is almost over. The sun sits motionless and small on the horizon, and it is hard to ignore the beauty that can be seen. Forests, rivers,

Champions.

Though it is bitter freezing cold, especially at this altitude, that is not the most pressing concern for you and the travelers you now call your friends and allies. Family. A young, silver dragon born boy's future and of the seasons themselves seem to now depend on what happens in this final hour. Looking around, the five of you stare into the faces of the circle of the woolly rhino.

Should the ritual fail, so they say,

The boy will not be restored, and the sun will shrink from the heavens, and a year of winter and darkness will fall upon the lands of Drakkar. The archdruid of these dragonborn kin, an ancient woman who eschews a resolute wisdom owing to her many centuries in this brutal realm, speaks out to you and to her kindred. Though her voice seems barely a whisper, it carries well over the gusting winter winds that surround you.

We must save the seasons. We must save spring. We must call the sun back to us. What happens next is up to you. How can we assist? First we must determine who the mother and father of Midwinter are. They will perform this final act. As she starts to speak,

It gets darker and darker, and you can see that sun has shrunk. No longer the size of a thumb, certainly, but even smaller and smaller to the size of a head of a pin. Like the stars around it in the sky, which are now brilliant. You can see nebula and flows in all directions in this clear night sky. Never has it been so brilliant, even at night, it seems. It's shrinking away so cleanly.

Do you have any tokens? Oh, my, uh... My friend, uh, Yornir here, Mr. Yornir, has quite the lion's share, and I'm going to attempt to very stealthily, um, pat his arm.

and exchange tokens and like put it into like you probably have like pockets and shit on your seal biz right? Or a rolled sleeve, you probably have a cuffed sleeve at the end. You gotta just do the classic handshake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. To me? Yeah, yeah. It's your Mr. Midwinter. He's like trusting you, yeah. I'm gonna lean in. I'm not, I'm no shaman.

And I'm going to attempt to do that as stealthily as possible. Make a sleight of hand check. Also, there's six crab legs that just suddenly grow out of my back. I'm level six!

Wait, is that a permanent form change? As a Beast Barbarian, you can decide how your body changes to grant you three different things, and I chose climbing speed. So now I can just climb.

- Horrible, disgusting guy. You are a- - Is that actually gonna be permanent? Are we all gonna have to imagine you with crab legs? - No, I was going to basically, whenever I wanted to climb, I would. - That's somehow supposed to be better? - Yeah. - It looks like Wolverine except crab claw and crab legs. - It's like the iron spider. - It's Wolverine at the- - It's the red lobster, bub.

I'm picturing them like Akira, like they just burst out and disgustingly morph into shape and then suddenly... I'm not happy with this. I'm gonna turn into Crab God. I'm turning into shotgun maze. Okay, I'm sorry. Evolve to Crab. What am I supposed to do? Sleight of Ham. Oh, Sleight of Ham. What am I supposed to do? Sleight of Ham. Well, we have 80,000, so thank you, Anonymous Cheer, because if I fail, I'm just gonna twist up. Yeah, we got you, fam.

Oh, the first to die. This is just heavy now. Is it 21 enough? Probably. I would hope so. But you don't know if... Oh, she's high wisdom. It is. She either notices and says nothing, or you are successful in passing what number of tokens to your near?

I don't know if we kept track of our... I didn't tell you to keep track of your tokens, so... Does everyone have an idea of how many tokens we had? I think you had eight. I kept track of that number. That's because I had eight and one more. I had seven. So Barnabas had one less than Queenie. I didn't know that, yeah. So I had seven. I had like maybe four or five. Okay. I kept track of mine. Because I was going to give mine to Scrim so that Barnabas and Scrim could be the...

Go fishing? Yeah. Mother and father of winter. The archdruid seems to be distracted. She's actually going and verifying the number of tokens that have been won by many of the other druids. But she does turn and come back to you. Scrim, did you participate in the games? Um...

Her looking at me, she can see that I'm extremely pale from being a cream goblin. I'm sweating too, even though it's very cold. I participate, I didn't win any tokens. No, no, no, I didn't win anything. Jornir, were you gaming on the side of the mountain? Do you have tokens to potentially win the role of father?

I do have tokens, yes. Present them. And I'll hold out eight. I won one of these, and Barnabas gave me the other seven. A gift! A midwinter gift, that is very honorable. Oh yes, every midwinter, I give gifts, yes. That is very honorable. Thank you for honoring our traditions. Aye, thank you.

Aye. And Taishen? Good luck. Are you able to best eight? I think that may be our highest number. No, I certainly can't. I have four tokens. That is still a worthy number. Always half of Mr. Yornear's. Yeah, well, okay. And for you, Queenie? Yeah, I have eight too. You want me to give you mine so that you have more than four? You seem really upset about it.

No, I'm quite content with mine. I was only, uh, the comparison between mine and your news I thought was a little unnecessary, but I'm completely fine with Thor. I think that- I think you did a great job.

I think you did a great job. Thank you. I think four is a really, really nice number. Thank you. And Yornir wouldn't even have eight if it hadn't been for Barnabas. That's true. He had one going in. Yeah, so you would add more than him to begin with anyway. Yeah. Oh, sorry. What was the question? I was just trying to make Tyshen feel better. Eight tokens. Yeah. Return them. I caught that cheese. It has been many years since I have been limber enough to catch the cheese. Yeah, well, I'm a bunny folk, so. Well done. Thank you.

"Not only do we have champions brought here," and she's speaking to the rest of the Drakarian druids at this time, "Champions who have been brought here to aid in the protection and the saving of our own land, but we are honored to say that these two, those who we would have called strangers this morning and are now great friends,

Queenie and Yornir as father and mother to bring back the child. Everyone erupts in excitement. Can I ask how we're supposed to do that? Yes. First we must return out of the circle to the patch of earth here, just beyond. There we are going to lay down the boy and I will explain the rest as best I can while also speaking the words of our ritual.

I don't have to get nasty with Yornie or anything, right? No, that... Alright, 'cause where I come from, our mid-summer festivals have a lot of... We're bunnies, so... I just wanted to make sure. That would've been if you'd been on a cliff. That is a very common occurrence, but not in this final ritual, no. You mean that when that boy fell from the cliff, there were... You know what? I don't wanna know. No, at the camps or the games, people often go and find a private place.

Do they get tokens for that? Not the physical token towards becoming a mother and father, but sometimes other kinds of tokens are awarded. Please, return to your things here and ready your minds. We will be asking the son to return, the literal boy, and also the son itself. All right. Taishen, you can help, I think.

As I speak, will you translate for Queenie and your near? Because we don't speak Draconic. I'll do my best. Ooh. I'm looking at it. I don't know if I do. Can you read?

- Well, oh, Tyshen can read, yes. - No, Mace can read. - Oh, good thing I'm playing Tyshen. - The champions will provide aid. With their strength, we will see the next dawn. Now, and she pulls out a small satchel.

"First we must lay down the boy." And I don't know if you're actually still carrying him. I think that you would have put him down before you would have crossed the threshold and stood out at the edge of the cliff. You did, correct. Yeah. Placed him down, I think, in the clearing. She gestures for you to pick up Donis and bring this child to the center of this earthy mound.

It's still covered with a thin layer of snow, but all of the footfalls and everything, you can see this rich, earthy soil underneath. And gently, you make place to the body. I pick him up, careful to still treat him very kindly, carry him over to the patch of earth and lay him down. Next, we plant at his head this seed, the annual seed of our tradition.

one that we will water, one that we will ask the sun to bathe in light. We will use our craft altogether to let it grow and emerge, allowing the child to be reborn, signaling the sun to return to its full power. It's in this moment, Queenie, that you realize that you have your own seeds. - Yeah, I do.

She takes the seed and hands it to Jornir. Come back. You must grant, gift the seed to Queenie. Then you must pierce the soil and allow the seed to be planted. Queenie? Jornir? I gift you on this midsummer's day this seed. And she speaks in Draconic, the first four lines. Sadly weeps the mother.

The tears that fall are bitter, flowing down her visage till they reach her garments' border. Queenie, kneel beside the child. All right, I'll kneel beside the child. As though you were truly his mother, speak to him, ask him to return. All right, my sweet boy. I've talked to you many times today, and you know that...

All I want for you is to have the best life you possibly can. If there's a chance at this working at all, you need to come back to us, all right? There's so much more you have to live for. Bring the sun back with you, okay? We miss you." And I'll like place my hand on his cheek. She continues to chant and the druid circle gets a step closer in now, forming this larger circle.

Then she speaks the next four lines. Then adown her silken stockings, till they touch her shoes, and then beneath her shoes, flowing on and flowing ever. Yornir, make a sight for the seed. I'll nod and I'll kneel down and...

Are we looking in the center of the mound? Yeah, dead center. So I try to, like, as centered as I could, all sort of, you know, all lay my staff down, and I'll take both hands sort of very gently...

spread the soil, does it sort of move? Or would I need a tool to... You are surprised by how gentle it is. It's almost like a wet, earthy summer soil. Despite the freezing cold all around you, you're able to separate it with your hands. So I'll just make a nice deep well based on my herbalism experience, however deep that I think makes sense for a scene like that. And I will...

Once I think it's appropriate, I'll grab my staff and I'll stand back. Okay. Stay seated. Oh, never mind. I put my staff back down. Speak to the boy as if he were your own child. Ask him to return. Young dragonborn boy, you willingly ended your life for this purpose. But this does not have to be the end.

If you feel that your life ended too soon, please do come back to us. But if you feel that your time has come, we will accept your choice. She speaks the next four lines of the ritual. Part to earth as its possession. Part to water as its portion. The teardrops fall and mingle. Form they streamlets, three in number.

It is tradition for us to then water the seed, but Barnabas, I wonder, given your matron, is there some way that you might be able to step in? And in this moment, there's a bit of a discomfort voice from behind her. One of the druids steps forward. We cannot break tradition of this kind. This is too much. We have already... Quiet!

Traditions were broken from the start, when these champions witnessed the death of this child unwillingly. We must be capable of adapting, Barnamos. With all due respect, my adaptation and constant evolution and change is what I live for, but you sure the salt won't kill the seed?

in the water that I can provide. We are druids. We will be enriching the soil and causing this seed to grow by our primal magic. I am confident that you will not salt the earth. Well, no better place to draw precious water of life. I'll reach down and I'll pull out my, uh,

What do you call it? The shell? The shell. No, what's the color? The iridescent? The pearlescent. Iridescent shell. And I'll step over the mound and I will whisper something into the top of the shell with the intention of not being audible.

And then I will turn it over and a very small dripping of sea water will just run out of it. And each of you, and in the Druid, some of the Druid's eyes, they swell up. It looks just like a mother's tears. And this seems to have a great connection, a symbol of meaning to them. They take a step closer. Scrimp.

What we need is a chance. What we need is fortune. Do you have a way of making a guess, a random idea or something along those lines?

Sorry, look, I gotta be honest with you. I've been stuffing my face all day, and it's really starting to roll right now. I was tripping balls for like eight hours, and I'm really coming down right now. And I just had one hell of an experience out on that cliff. But I think I might be able to help. I just need a minute, all right? I need a minute to think. That is fine if you do not want to. I know the venom you speak of, and you are not required. This is not mandatory, but...

We are in this final hour working together. I'm inviting you to... Typically we flip a coin, it's very simple. Yeah, okay, yeah, it's a bit more mandatory than you probably realize for me. Okay, and visibly shaking, I will reach down into my coat, find my coin purse, and pull out the gold coin. And I will, still shaking and sweating and pretty pale, I will focus on the coin,

Fear that I'm going to draw upon this magic and flip the coin in the air as I cast Idea. And... Why is it not here? It's not on my spell list. I might have to fix it. It might have gotten taken off my spell list, but I have Idea.

and I'm going to cast it. Okay. So the gold, as I flip the gold coin, it reaches the apex of its flipping, it will vanish. You hear a few from the crowd of druids seeing a magic that they wouldn't be familiar with. Oh, there it is, I'm sorry. No, no. I checked it off. Okay. Now before we speak the final words, Queenie at the head in the sight that Yornir has made as mother,

plant the seed, and we will begin the final moments. I will take the seed that's in my hand, and I will slowly place it down into the bowl. Okay. You nestle the seed down, and you start to hear the words of the chanting ritual again. Last lines all the way to the end. Flowing in the silver sunlight from each rock upon the summit,

Grow hillocks clothed in verdure. On the summit of the tree she sings, "Love, oh love." The druids all start to step forward and they start to clasp their hands together like this.

Nice.

Nature is where I'm sort of a viking. I'm not, I get plus one. And then I got another plus five. Come on. Scrim, don't fuck me. I got 16. 16? 18. 18? Queenie? 17. Twisted, yeah. One or two? Barnaboose? 14. Better. 19. Much better. 19.

Queenie, you push the soil over and you're watching on your knees here, staring at the body of the boy, looking at this disappearing light. Yornir, you're seeing the same. You're hearing some chanting, but mostly just in draconic love, oh love, they're capturing this, trying to perhaps capture light almost, trying to beg. And this happens for five seconds, ten seconds.

Another minute starts to go by, and the druids start to slow some speed up. They're looking at each other a little bit more now, starting to pull at the sky. What are you all doing as you're watching them start to lose momentum in these final moments? Do I get a sense—does any of this feel familiar to me? Like, this ritual? Like, if I joined in, do I feel like I could contribute?

Or are they doing something beyond just the somatic component? Like, is there some sort of other... It feels like their somatic... A kind of somatic gesture that is intended to focus their druidcraft is what they're using.

and specifically attempting to focus on the sun. Like, if they were doing this for the Equinox ritual equivalent and it required druidcraft, there might be like a gathering or a pushing away motion, but they're effectively using druidcraft, so if you wanted to join them and also use yours, then you would be able to make that attempt. Yeah, absolutely. I would lead my staff up on a rock or from near the horn or something.

And then I would just sort of, seeing what they're doing, I would just kind of join in and to the best of my ability mimic what they're doing. I don't get the sense that I poison the sea with salinity, do I? She told me to do it! Your fault! Make a... I think just straight intelligence check?

That's fine. Oh yeah. She was very confidently saying that this would be something where if there was Salted Earth, a druid with druidcraft, I would judge in my ruling as DM that they would be able to desalinize Earth and be able to bring nature back to something that had been overly salted. What you put in were but a few drops.

I'm still nervous. Does it seem like this seed that we put in was some kind of special seed? Right.

Or that the seed itself matters at all? Or as long as a seed grows? It seems to be a seed that they've used each time they do this ritual. So perhaps they go and they acquire it on a pilgrimage or on one of the other special holy days that they have, and then they bring it here and they have to replant it each year over and over again. Okay, so it does seem special. It does seem special to...

these druid, these dragonborn druid for very much. But if you wanted to make an intelligence check, you could do that. And they start to stop. I'll stop with them. No time left. There's...

Just a few minutes left. We must continue to try. The Archdruid herself is starting to feel stressed. You can tell that she and her brethren all had this great confidence that there wouldn't be this year of true darkness and true winter approaching so darkly. Some are trying as quickly as they can. Others are even openly weeping. Not just because of the

bad omen, but also because of the loss of this young boy. Don't you have some stuff you can do? You're a fireman. I can only draw upon the sun's power. I can't summon it. I'm not connected to these magics they're pulling upon. I have a feeling if you aim it right there, right over their heads, it'll scorch them.

Might help there. You think if I draw upon the sunlight... Perhaps it'll be a little bit extra oomph! And I'll try, like, possibly knock you several feet to the... Well, I'll try anything if it can help. Is the sun still out?

The sun is indistinguishable from the stars at the horizon at this point. It looks like it has effectively vanished, for lack of a better term. Would you say that the material component of sunlight is present? No. Oh, we are in deep shit. Oh boy, this is not good.

Wow. Aren't stars just suns? That's what I wanted to say!

This is Starlight? Not magic shit! Oh, it's vampires! Tell it to a vampire, or sunlight sensitivity, or fuckin'... yeah, yeah, yeah. I outstretch my claws towards the sunlight and attempt to draw... well, where I assume the... wherever I had seen it ending at the midsummer point of the horizon, I attempt to harness its power.

You're looking straight west, and you can see the broad Crown of Drakkar, this massive piney forest, and just above it, you're focusing on that area. Make a arcana check at disadvantage. In the last moments of sunlight, the last rays of... Twist it!

Do I have to call it before the roll? No. No. Can I twist just one? You have to determine whether you have one or two. Yeah, it's basically just a new roll, right? Okay. Yeah. Just one. All to one. Thank you, Anonymous. Thank you, Anonymous, and all the other sharers. Thank you, everyone, for your support. Everyone. Absolutely. Better? It's better. Alright. Oh, shit. I like better. Eleven.

Okay. You attempt to channel, and you focus on all of your arcane magic. You even feel emboldened by the power that has been bestowed to you just moments ago. And still, you cannot pull sunlight from the sky. What's wrong? It's no use. I can't...

I can't feel the sun, I can't... What do you mean you can't feel the sun? No, no, no, no, no, this is really bad! Oh, no, that's real, that's very bad. Oh, God, all the cookies and meat, it's all gonna come up! Oh, God! Oh, God, I feel sick! This is my fault. I... It is my fault for delaying the ritual.

I must... She walks out from the circle of people, away from the boy, away from the plant of seed, away from the five of you, and she goes back into the center of the monuments, the monolith circle at the top, just at the edge of the cliff. There on this dais, you can still see that same massive horn that is perhaps a holy relic for them, and she is...

Whispering. You cannot make out what she says, but she's putting her hand out and looking down, shaking her head, attempting to consult something, trying desperately, hopelessly, hopelessly, hopelessly? Hopelessly. Hopelessly for some sign, some change, some idea. Yeah.

Oh god, I don't like this at all. Barnaboats be ready, they might turn on us at any minute! They're gonna think this is our fault! When we cause something to do with this, they're gonna gang up on us! I'm still looking down at the boy. You only did what you did because they said they could bring you back. And it's not working. So, I don't know if this can help, I don't know if it's gonna ruin it all, but at this point nothing's happening. And I'm going to reach towards Yorneir. Make that hole again, Yorneir, right next to where we planted that seed.

You do this.

and you both silently hear the wind blowing. You don't feel the eyes on you, you lose sense of your friends. All you feel is this terrible, terrible sadness in the deepness of your heart. And a sprout emerges. You feel the sun shining below, and you turn,

And underneath the hand of the archdruid, this horn has an outline of faint blue magical energy glowing, starting to get brighter and brighter. And you can see this delicate, fragile, small little sprout start to pull up and up and up and up.

smaller second leaf twists and winds its way around. You barely see the green, and not only because it is dark, but because your eyes have glassed over from the tears looking down, just staring at the boy and staring at this fae seat. And it twists and starts to swell, and you hear a sound of a single druid behind you. You hear more start to join in.

She may have done it. She may have. The archdruid races forward over to where you're sitting. Its offshoots are starting to grow. It becomes a slightly bigger, almost like a small fern, almost. It starts to mature before your very eyes. You have to, you're forced to back up just a little bit away, and it

The trunk is not like a single stem. You start to see a chaotic and beautiful interwoven braid of roots forming a brilliant whole. Richly brown bark dresses the trunk of this cold-forged tree, looking hardy enough to withstand even the coldest day of Drakkar. And it continues to grow. The sweet smell of amber fills the air, even in the blowing winds, which begins to fill with petals of every color behind it.

the sky erupts in light. You are bathed in golden rays that shive through the intricate crown of branches as this massive tree arrives in mere moments, magically produced thanks to your generosity, and your eyes don't leave the boy. He doesn't heal right in front of you. Instead,

This broken body lifts very gently off the surface of the soil. The light itself from the side is blinding. So blinding, in fact, that for a moment you just lose sight of him and blink. And there, standing in those same brilliant golden rays, it is replaced by a standing, breathing young boy, completely alive. I have never met you. I just want you to know that I love you, all right?

The boy doesn't say a word. You don't have to say anything at all. You don't even get that far. His arms are around your neck and a great bear hug. A cub hug.

You sweet, sweet, precious thing, you better promise me, I don't even know if we speak the same language, I don't care, you better promise me you're going to do everything you possibly can with every single day of your life for the rest of it. You live it to the fullest, my friend, okay? You can hear his chin shaking, yes, but also from the emotional experience that's just occurred, and the crowd of dragonborn around you who had felt such despair for so long suddenly erupts

in excitement. The song of the ritual complete begins to chant from their mouths. They are grabbing each other, waltzing, dancing, finding partners, singing and screaming, smiling and crying. You have done it. I'm going to move. I'm going to ignore them. I'm going to move back around. I'm going to grab his face. You did this. Everything that happened here today, it was because of your sacrifice. Don't you ever forget how strong you are.

don't you ever forget what an amazing person you were it was like my like third or fourth time actually it's it's it was it's it's all right i'm gonna pretend it was your first because you are crazy thanks i'm donuts who are you i'm coini it's nice to meet you don't it's pleasure to meet you you're new huh yeah you're apparently not she looks over at your nerd wow two strangers one

That's amazing. You guys must be real gamers. Boy, I believe what Queenie did back home. They call that a pro-gamer move. What did you do, Queenie? Well, I was afraid that your seed was not working. I have seeds of my own. You have seeds of your own? They're seeds from the Feywild. I do not recognize this tree. What...

Do you know the name of it? Do you know what can you... I don't know anything about it if I'm being honest with you. My best friend passed away many years back. He left this pouch of seeds for me and I don't have many of them. And so using them is very... I use them very preciously, I will say. You have saved us from a terrible year. A year of darkness that...

It was a group effort. Scrim flipped the coin and Barnabos probably said something gross into his shell and got water out of it. You know, Tashen can read, so...

- Indraconic. - Yeah. - He translated it in like real time. - He wasn't like. - People are laughing and dancing. They're starting to spread back out now. Amazingly, the sun is starting to set. - Oh, Donis. - Yeah. - I caught the cheese.

Wow, I've never caught that cheese. Well, you've been dead apparently. Well, I mean, on the times that I don't do that and one of the other guys does it, then yeah, I try to catch the cheese every time. Jump. That's the trick. Jump. Jump. Then you'll face plant, you'll skid ahead of everyone else, and then you can get back up and catch the cheese.

Hey, where's the milk? Donut screams this, and you can see that at the top, they've brought what is clearly celebratory woolly rhino milk that is saved for the end of this ritual celebration. And they're handing out flagons of this delicious grassy, milky brew. When the DM twists the nut. Not a boy, what?

Your anchor's right there. Yeah. And all of your metal items that you left behind before you went into the circle are just adjacent to the neck of the mountain just before it starts to twist back down to the camp. But it's almost difficult to see them through the crowd of people who are now, you know, arm in arm, swimming around each other, just...

having a relief of joy in addition to their celebration of nature and life and death in this way.

I'm gonna be grabbing... My hand is absolutely gargantuan. I will be grabbing... I will little... fitting as many cookies as I possibly can into my hand, and then fitting as many I can fit into my mouth. It's very Cookie Monster. Yeah, yeah. I'm swinging in all directions. I don't need actually any of it. It all just spurs out from the fucking puppet. Where...

It has been some time since it has been so close. I am tired. Young child, do you mind if I ask you a question? Sure. Does the horrible pain of death not deter you from volunteering year after year? The falling is really quite fun, and honestly, I think it might be the ritual impact. I don't have any memory of...

Anything, once the wheel gets a certain size, it just... All of a sudden I'm giving this wonderful lady a hug. A queenie. I see. Well, glad that the sun is back, I suppose.

I'll return looking like a really disgusting Godmill commercial. Just go back to your Triton mask. He's got a big mustache. We don't want you. The ball top of my head is like sweating with seawater. Oh, Jesus. You got your crab claws out and they're all holding you. Oh yeah, no, my crab leg just sprouted out just involuntarily. They just sort of-- Yeah. Ew!

It's like those things in... The plasmonids? You must. It's like a riffing trombone pantomime there. One of the other dragonborn comes up. Well done, you have succeeded in bringing back the child. And people are slapping you on the back, just feeling the ebb and flow of victory. I was on edge, but now that I've had some milk,

I thank you. This is worthy of a celebration. Curiously, the sun is now setting. It seems to be back on its path, where it had frozen in place and started getting dimmer and dimmer and dimmer. Now, instead of having a full rotation over the sky, it's darkening. This beautiful red alpenglow is being cast across all the mountains around you over the surfaces of the trees before it starts to purple and turn to night. Um.

The druids are starting to get a little quieter and in this moment the archdruid seems especially interested to stay with the five of you and hear where you're going next to talk through what it feels like to be champions. Tell me, it's... The great weight that is on your shoulders now to go and find this...

Or do whatever it is, this deed that you must do to save their car. What? How would you find your way? It is unclear, but we will find a way. We always do. I believe it is our fate. Now, the sun has set. We know that there is an artifact we need to find. And I think we know what the artifact is. We do. Yeah, I do. Oh, what do we think it is? Can we say that here? You spoke it of the...

-Harmatur... -The Hexatur Armamen. -It is a difficult word for me to say. -And you do not know anything of this? -Not in my long life or in my time with the Circle of the Woolly Rhino have I heard a term like that. But in the southern central Drakkar area, that was where our capital was when our empire was strong.

It was not for me. I was always drawn to nature and this was a place of arcane magics and civilization. A great stronghold there. But they had seeking magics, looking glasses. I understand they had ways of even traveling the stars. That may be the place where you could...

at least find some instrument to seek out what you are looking for. In which direction is this place? You would be heading southeast. You would have to go around the spine of Durkar. Now that you are north, you... And she, in the snow, she draws sort of a shape.

Is that an Easter egg? She draws an oval in the ground. And she draws a smaller oval underneath it. And she points to the spine. This is a great mountain range. We are here just at its tip. Just in the crown of the great forest of Turhar.

But central to the car, this is in plain a great tundra, many great plains. Willy-Rhyme, you'll find there. And here, just to the southeast of the other side of the spine, is the capital I speak of. And we will be making our pilgrimage to the southern isle. There, by the time we arrive, we will be able to welcome spring.

It is... All right, well, I'm coming with you. If you're going to an island, I should definitely go there. I do not think you will be able to join us, but thank you. Okay. Based on what I know about how far north we are versus going south and it being colder, do I feel like it'd be dangerous to go back south? You would expect that it will be...

Like walking backwards from where you were coming from, that you were walking into winter. It would be a dangerous journey. We'd be back into the cold. Doesn't sound like we have a choice though, do we? I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with the expressions of this land, this place we seek. These people, you said they have a way of traveling the stars?

It was not something I was terribly knowledgeable about, but those who would have called themselves wizards in our people before we were scattered by the Princess of Wrath, they had ways of traveling to other worlds. Great magics. It was the princess that caused your empire to fall. One dragon.

Out of curiosity, moaning Mr. Yorneir,

You, did your folks ever, uh, these wizards or other fancy learning types build anything out of, I think it was basalt? Perhaps manipulating time and space? Oh, God, don't even mention it! Perhaps that had something to do with it, Mr. Stabiscotch. I'm really gonna throw up now. No, you would not make a structure, uh,

We would make perhaps trinkets. If you think of, there are fjords in the northeastern areas of Drakkar, but these are small rocks, not fit for settlements building. Aye. All right. Well, one less thing to worry about, Mr. Stabaskov. Is it one less thing to worry about? Because I still think it's a very big thing to worry about that we haven't gotten to the bottom of yet. What is it you speak of? Oh, God, here we go. Hey, Mike, can I have one of your skiers? Thank you.

That's awesome. I've always wanted to try it. Sorry. I keep looking over at- You want skier? I do! I keep looking over and I'm like, "God, I want some skier!" Oh, you really do like some skier. You can have some of my milk, fine. I kept a little extra in my beard. Ewwwww! You just got skiered. Wanna hear some cookie crumbs? Ewwwww! Oh, God.

Please, I'd be interested. What is this structure you speak of? We went to a terrible, cursed tower. Was it a tower? Was it a statue? What was it? A structure. In the southwest. Aye, southwest. It was cursed. It was a monolith. Terrible, cursed place. On an island as well. It was tainted. It did not look natural. It was placed there. When we approached...

We lost weeks of our lives as if for us no time had passed. We didn't starve to death. We didn't freeze to death. No time had passed at all. And it's almost as if it singled out our captain and killed him. We came to and minutes later his thigh bone was snapped in half. A cursed place. It has been...

I cannot say how long, many years since I have been anywhere in Drakkar that was not a holy site like this. I cannot imagine how the world has changed. That is very curious. You've never even heard of anything like this out in Drakkar before. Only the... The southern island is a beautiful place, a place of almost pure ice. It's gorgeous. But it is just the one island. It is...

Where we will welcome spring when the time comes. Sorry to interrupt, is this the same island you speak of? There is only one island to this island? Just the one. Then it must be the same one. Out of character, it was on an island, right? Yeah, out of character, it was on an island. And I would say that you saw two.

I would say that you would be, when you were at the Basalt's Tower, very far in the distance, you would have seen a secondary island that would have been unreachable because of the ocean. So, out of character, the druid, ancient millennia-old druid of the land who knows the land is saying there should not have been an island that we were at.

That is what you are starting to infer as you are having this conversation with the Archdraud. All of you. Wait, what? As soon as we make this connection, Scrim vomits. Everything that he has been eating all day, his royal eye, he loses it. Oh, you better have that in oil, what you say? Oh, God, no. This can't be happening. Is that the cobra venom in there? I don't feel so good.

I'm going to kneel down into the dirt and I'm going to say... Oh, not in his... I'll kneel right in. No, it was off to the side. I turned away. You are saying this is the only island to the south, but no, there was another island and I'll sort of draw where I think the island was. It was on this island that there was the tower. There was not an island...

in sight from the Southern Isle when I was there last year. How does a new island just form with an absolutely horrific thing like that on it? There are stories that I've heard mad sailors tell. Sunken cities and structures that are buried for millennia and when the stars are right rise out of the sea.

Perhaps we were on such a structure. It just keeps getting worse and worse. Were we sure it was even an island? Was it a black reef? Was it an ancient ziggurat built by creatures of the deep? Is that a thing? Whispers of mad sailors have spoken of such things. Am I the only one that's absolutely terrified of all this? Shucks!

It is not right that this is for sure, but we knew this. It is not new to us that whatever was there was unnatural. It should not have been there. And the fact that the entire island was also this way does not surprise me. The night grows long. What am I trying to say? Late. There is not much time before we must go.

Bjornir, we have bound ourselves to this land. I feel that we are of a very similar heart, one with nature. As your attunement to the primal powers grows, I suspect one day you too may be able to do this with wherever you call home. I hope so greatly, yes. I see it. I see it in your future, not through my sight.

but in my heart. Thank you for including me in this ritual and this experience and to everyone good midwinter. Scrim, I heard the words you spoke on the cliff. What? I was bludgeoning like everyone else. It is important for you to hear that as much as you must protect your friends and your car in the next

chapter of your life that you must also protect you from you. Yeah, okay, whatever. Queenie, you are indeed very brave. Oh, thanks, sorry. I wasn't paying attention.

I've been eating this, uh, Mammutian Provisions Peach Apricot and Almonds Fruit and Nuts Sker. I've never had a sker a day in my life. This is the thickest yogurt I've ever had. It's good, yes, isn't it? Filled with nuts. Ah, yes. Uh, I think that there were some nuts that came off of your tree, actually. Well, I'm gonna hang out under that tree with mouth wide open because this is delicious.

Wait, it's dummy? It's dummy thinking filled with nuts. There's actually an old saying... Never mind. So you were saying, I'm sorry. That you are very brave, and I wanted to thank you for your generous gift on this midwinter day. Oh, that's fine. I know you came in with much skepticism about our ways. I mean, you killed a child, so... Seems to enjoy it. I am... I have something very happy to tell you. This tree, it is for forever. Forever?

Oh, yeah, I could have told you that. It is going to be here. We will not have to do that. The next year we are here. But you don't have to kill any more kids? Not with this tree in place to call the sun to it. Look around for any kids. Hell fucking yeah. And you see all the kids and they're like, aww.

No death? Shit. No ritual sacrifice. Oh, but no. We were so good. I wanted to jump this time. Buggy jumping hasn't been invented yet. I wanted to splash across the center. Taishen. Yes?

Why did you hesitate? I thought you were gonna follow up originally with that move. You are a very strong magical person. I see the same kind of draconic magic that pulsed through our veins so long ago. I think with more experience you would have been able to pull that sun back yourself. I only wish that

I could have been stronger, but I'm glad that fate brought us here and that or whatever drove us here and that Queenie's quick actions were able to save this ritual when it looked like hope was lost and that now we will not have to go through such lengths again. Barnabas. Aye.

I don't know exactly what to say to you. You have a little something here. Oh, hold on here. Oh, no, hold on here. I carry a comb here. Carved it myself from a seashell for the exact, this exact purpose. In a way, you are becoming one with nature as well, I understand. I'm one with the sea, not much one for land, but I'm learning a lot here from Mr. Yornear.

Take care, Mr. Barnabas. Aye. I will. It is. We'll take care of everyone here. And good midwinter to you and to you, Mr. Yornear, and to the rest of you lot. I can safely say the best midwinter we've enjoyed for many centuries. Good luck to you, and as midnight approaches, I say, if you see the Princess of Wrath, avoid her if you can. She is...

Deadly. Oh, she killed her captain. If you must fight her, know that you will be doing us a great vengeance. Give her hell. The other druids are walking away from the mound now. Some are going up and touching the holy relic and then packing up their own things and starting to make their way down to the next camp, making their way down the mountain.

You get a final hug from Donus. You feel a behind from behind you, arms wrap corporeally around your waist and then hand in hand, the archdruid and Donus. Bye, it was nice to meet you. It was nice to meet you too. You have fun on that island. I'm not allowed to come. No, come to the Southern Iowa for spring. I was told that I can't go there. We'll be there on the start of spring. Yeah, well.

I'm not invited. What? Take it up with your faith. I didn't say that they were not invited. That's kind of what you said. Just that we could not join us on our pilgrimage. Oh, well, yeah, that makes sense. Bye. Like that? Before you go. And as they wave, you start to realize as they wave that you're seeing...

through them. That frosty color that covers their robes, the nature of their corporeality begins to be disappeared. Disappeared? Yes, all of them begin to evaporate. They're fucking ghosts the entire time? Straight ghosts.

And you are left hearing the howling winds. - Wait, are they actually ghosts? - They were fucking ghosts! - Oh shit! - I have not been anywhere else in Drakkar for centuries, only on holy sites.

That's why I... No, I thought it was Derek, so no offense. When you said they killed all of us, she killed everyone. I'm like, okay, Derek is fucking up his words. Yeah, I'm waiting for him to be like, except for a few of us, we're being pissed. I know, I was waiting. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm still trying to fall. We haven't seen any settlements. We haven't seen any Dragonborn except for this mountain. Where'd they get the food from? Where's all this food coming from? We got food! We got food!

Oh my god. Ain't no party like a ghosty party.

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a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. The five of you. The five of you stand now at the top of the mountain in shock.

The figures all fade, disappearing one after the other as they make their way down the side of the mountain and you realize that the five of you are alone. That it is bitterly, bitterly cold. The blowing wind swirls all around you. The tree...

persists, but it is no longer covered in multi-colored petals and fruits and things. It looks like a wintered tree, almost as if it's always been there. You know that it is forever, but it is now transformed back to the state that it will be in for the rest of this winter. The

that multicolored paint on the cairns that had been adorning these monoliths disappears, fades into dust, weathered stone only now. Scrim, you feel a brand that had been a sensation on your chest, a cold brand disappear from your chest. It's as if nothing has ever, ever happened there. The pinecone honey that had been sitting at your side, Queenie, fades.

The skier out of my hands. The skier, the milk, all of those evidence, just the few metal items that have been lying here in the snow that they asked you not to take into the circle to approach the stone. That circle and the cliff edge is still there, and so is the dais with their holy relic, this horn, still sitting there in the middle of this circle, and you realize how hungry you feel.

It's been an entire day and you haven't had anything to eat as the food inside of your stomach fades. Oh, wow. Barnabas, the gift of tobacco in your pouch disappeared and Yornir, your treasured twig of mistletoe, gone. You bastard. That's sick. That's sick.

But you look down with a smile on your face, Queenie, and you realize there's no blood to clean off of your frock, off of your clothes. Because I'm vegan.

Because you just performed a crazy sex act. No, no. Because... Because of the nature of the magic of this place and this holy site on this holy day. But you do still have a few stitched patterns to remember this day by that you seemingly had done for yourself. The five of you look into each other's faces when you hear...

A snapping of a twig. And you see Daisy standing there. Oh yeah. I don't know how else to say this, young lady. They were ghosts. Well, at least I'm here with the champions. You can feel the sarcasm in her hand gestures. Oh, you're just bitter you didn't catch the cheese.

- Well, it was ghost cheese, so what does it matter anyway? - Well, someone still caught it and it wasn't Daisy. - I'm starving. - Yeah, so are the rest of us. - We gotta get off this fucking mountain. - We're gonna die here. - And I need everyone to make a constitution saving throw. - What is this for? - Is it against cold?

I got a natural one. We advantage, right? No, we just don't roll. We don't even, I thought it was advantage. You roll, but you succeed in your roll. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I blew double natty 20s. Oh, no. Oh, my God. A one in 400 chance disappears into nothing like this. I'm not cold. No, you're not, but it is meaningful whether or not you succeed or fail.

I succeed. You succeed. 14. 24. The DC is 20. If you succeeded, you take half of seven cold damage. Wait, what is it? What were we saving again? Is it a constitution saving throw? If you got 20 or higher, then... Part of us and I will take half? We'll take quarter. But you take half of half. All right, so we take two. Okay.

And shivering now, freezing in this mountaintop, what are you all doing? I don't know how long it's longer I can do this. Are we out of food? Are we still out of food? What happened? We just had a lovely day. I mean, a horrific day, but there were parts of it that were lovely, and now here we are, and we're gonna die.

I mean, how long is it gonna take us to get back down to get to safety? There's no cover up here. We're gonna freeze to death. But more importantly, I'm hungry even though I just throw up everywhere. There's no throw up. It's like maybe a little pile. Oh, what the fuck? Nothing makes any sense anymore! But you're right, we need to get off the mountain. It is... It will get worse as the longer the sun is down. Let us go.

I'm going to just... Well, before we go, though, you'll see me... Give me one moment. I'm going to walk up to the horn and just sort of inspect it to see if I get any sense of...

it being magical, is there anything carved on it? Leaving your metal items behind and quickly crossing the threshold into this circle, you walk up to it. Are you just doing it straight or are you using a feature or something? I think I'm just inspecting it. I'm not casting magic, like detect magic or anything. I would say an arcana check would be warranted in this situation. Arcana.

Nice. To get a sense of its magic on this. 21. This was very clearly a holy relic for the Woolly Rhino Circle. And as you get closer, not only do you feel the power of the stones around you seemingly in tension with this artifact, as you approach it, it seems to enhance your emotion, almost. You really...

Reach up to touch it, but it's almost fearful to put your hand on it because of the thrum that you get from it. Even with a 10, you would have been able to get that close and start to realize that touching this artifact without knowing its true power or how to ride that tiger would be a mistake. Do I get a sense of how I might ride the tiger? Touch it, lift it off the dais, do whatever you want.

You can see his stripes, but you know he's clean, Rich. It's the "fuck around and find out" portion of the evening. Yornir's gonna become the world shaman. Yornir's gonna become the world shaman. Oh, that'd be so cool. I don't know what that means, but it sounds amazing. Thrall appears. Yornir, join me. I totally forgot this. Elephants guide me. My white eye will flash and glow blue, and I will cast Detect Magic.

just to kind of get a sense of... How does that look? You can just cast Detect Magic, but what does it manifest? I often like to think of it like soft particles of magic show up and then they sort of are attracted to things that are magical and give you a school of magic kind of sense, but you can flavor it however you like. Yeah, I always sort of see it as like, you know in video games when you put on some sort of special...

you know, like find all the hidden clues really easily and they like kind of glow like yellow or gold or something. Oh, the spirit temple spyglass from Ocarina of Time. Exactly. Okay, so you go into predator vision and all of a sudden...

- Oh no! - I don't think that's wild, Shane! - What the hell are you? - No, you detect magic and this is a powerful artifact. This is a legendary artifact. This is ancient and very clearly something that

is sacred, almost, to the, not just to the circle, perhaps, but even to the land itself. Seeing that, I will set my staff on the ground, or up against one of the stones, and I will approach the horn, and with both hands, I will just touch it. Let's fucking go. Oh my god. What a badass. Your arms are instantly disintegrated. I...

Oh my god, are we gonna start farting and barking at each other? I almost didn't know what you were referencing and I was very concerned. If you know, you know. Must be some porn thing. It's definitely a porn thing.

You blow that up in 4K and no one else is around, and even getting born. What do they say? Not my proudest fap. I don't know. Willem Dafoe? I don't think I know. That's not shameful. I definitely wouldn't call that shameful.

three and a half, four feet long, tapering to a very finite point. Oh, so it's sort of like down there for me then. Yeah, but it's on a dais. Oh, okay. It's on a dais, so I would say that it's about... On a dais, on a dais. On a dais. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty funny. One of my favorite songs. And so you...

Indiana Jones, you pick it up and you lift it. You immediately get a sense that this is a... This could be used as a weapon. That the fact that it is so pointed, there's a sense of power that you feel immediate kinship with. This...

mechanically could be a plus three, maybe higher type spear if you were going to put it on top of something like that. But you are, as quickly as this threshold of energy strikes you, so does the torrent of emotions that flood through you. You...

go from extreme sadness when you connect with the, your flesh with the object, to tremendous anger, and then jealousy, and then flooding through you happiness. You almost want to laugh out loud and then bark at the sky in victory and Fiero, and then all of a sudden drop back down into melancholy and depression. Can you please RP this rollercoaster of emotions? I'm going to do it.

- Yornir has gone mad! He's a wild man! He's a living lunatic of madness! - Even for you, someone who is tremendously centered and who has the emotional qualities that Yornir has, this is,

like riding a roller coaster, for lack of a better term. You're left, right, up, down. It's hard to hold, and you're looking for some way out of that whirlwind of emotions, but it seems to be holding you. You feel like you could turn around, but you continue to...

That's what's happening inside your heart. Oh yeah, you could put it down just as easily. You're not paralyzed by this, but you are, you feel cursed by the emotion almost, just holding it, keeping it on your person. I put it down. Are you alright? Do you see anything from your magical eye, Mr. Yorneir? It is extremely powerful.

It is an artifact of some kind. Not the one we are looking for, but very holy, extremely powerful, and deeply tied to every emotion. I'm exhausted. Well, I know what's gonna make you feel better. What da- Why do owls always get invited to bird parties?

Because they were a hoot. Why would you ruin the joke? I was trying to help Yornier feel better, and you just ruined the joke. Oh, I thought you were asking a serious question. To be fair, it didn't sound as though you were asking a question. You asked it loud. That's because sometimes jokes... You know what? We'll try another one. Why were the police suspicious of the blinds? Why? Because they were shady.

Well, thank you, Scram. You know what? I give up. Can we get the fuck out of here? When did you start thinking you ruled the show?

You guys clearly need a leader. Okay, well, I can't argue with that one. This is true. Wait, wait, wait, what about the horn? We're just going to leave it here? I mean, it's like, could it benefit us in our journey? Why don't you go pick it up, Scrim? No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, I saw what it did to him. I don't think I can trust him with that kind of... Ryan, he's the strongest one of all of us, so if he can't wield it, who else is going to carry it? You want to give it to Barnabo? Well, I mean, he's pretty strong, too. Would this be... What about Beats?

What? Would this be disrespectful, Mr. Yorneir? The druid of the land said that we have to kill the Princess of Frost. It is certainly thousands of years old. Well, did she say we had to? I thought it was if you happened to, that would be kind of great. Boy, she is an arbiter of fate. That is a...

A task and a quest, if I've ever heard one. I wouldn't say she was an arbiter of fate. She wasn't able to get that ritual to work. The way she called us here, we saved the sun, we were meant to be here, we became champions. Yeah, we easily could have not saved the sun. But we did. And that was our fate. What if the hexature armament, what if that thing is the antithesis of what the artifact we're trying to destroy?

It is impossible to handle. It will drive anyone mad. You think I could carve it into a harpoon? You will not carve it. I'm pretty good at scrimshaw. No, it would be... Is your middle name Shaw? No, it's not. I don't know what he's talking about. His middle name isn't even Shaw. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I know you're pretty good at scrim. I knew it was Shaw. I know a scrim. But I don't even know I'm scrimshaw. I think I could whittle that thing down into a very mighty harpoon. That's all I'm saying. You want to turn it into a weapon?

Might be worth a try. Yeah, but how are you going to carve it if you can't even hold it? Look, Yorneir is the most even keel of all of us, and he had trouble holding it. The last person I want outside of you touching that thing is Barnabas. I just don't feel like we should be leaving it here. The spirit said if we encountered the dragon to give her hell from them.

Maybe this is a tool of their own vengeance. Or maybe they meant it literally and they want us to give her a piece of the Nine Hells. What if the Hexature Armament comes from the Nine Hells? Certainly possible. Whatever we decide to do, I'd like to get off this mountaintop as quickly as possible because I feel very uneasy standing up here. I'd say about ten minutes have passed. I need everyone to make a Constitution saving throw. DC 20. DC 20.

- Oh, not good. - 20 exactly. - Nice. - Oh, I advantaged. - That passes? - Yeah. - 20. - Can you twist me? - I got a 13. I will take one out, twist out for Nicky. - I neglected to say it out loud, but it's obviously the same like against the climate

So if you failed last time, in addition to the damage, you took a level of exhaustion. If you fail this time, it's a level of exhaustion again, level two, and it's three points of cold damage. All right, well, I'm taking three points, and I got one level of exhaustion. It's because it's a minimum of one. You're still resistant, so you should only take one, because you have three. I still take the exhaustion? Is it still seven? No, you're immune to the exhaustion forever.

Okay, sorry, I don't have my thing on me. That's fine, that's fine. Is it still seven? Did you succeed? I succeeded, but is the damage still seven? He said it was three points. No, if you succeeded, you're not exhausted and you take one damage. Oh, okay, okay. Even though I'm resistant, you can never, it's minimum. And I actually am just realizing...

Okay, so she fails twice and she took seven, 10 points of damage. I mean, seven plus three is 10, so she's exhausted level two as well.

She turns around and she just like hand gestures at you and she starts to make her way down the side of the mountain because you've got a long trek ahead of you. It took you a half a day to... Let's make a decision quick. If you think you can carve that thing, maybe wrap it up in something and take it with you. Maybe not touching it directly will fix the problem. I mean, I see Queenie's point. What is the sea if not just raw emotion made in natural watery form? This isn't time to be waxing poetic.

I don't know. I don't want to be cursed. I don't want this thing to be our downfall. Why don't you just try and put a cloth on it and touch it? You've survived already. See if that helps. And then if you can touch it, one of us can take it. Why is it that we feel like we should take it at all? It doesn't belong to us. It's not ours. Hold on. I will... If we can have one more minute, we'll commune with Mahmood. I'm so hungry. I want cookies and milk. One of the, uh... One of my kind of

bone tags that has a room wristed into it and I will cast augury. I will say omit. Odom, Amun, Amun, the triad. If we take this in our quest, in our fateful journey, what will come of us? You channel the magic directly and the response turning the

this wristed rune in your fingers comes into your mind, a feeling of both weal and woe. It is weal and woe the triad has spoken, which means there could be some good that comes from it, but also bad. We wrap it in a pelt or something. Perhaps I can be like Mr. Yornear here and have my own

A tusk to bear, so to speak. With Queenie's tree here now serving the purpose, I believe that maybe the horn would do better in our own possession. And I would only use it against the Princess of Frost. I don't think that we should give it to Barnabas, period. You would have to be the one to carry it. If it's an emotional thing, you're the only one of us that can handle it. He starts screaming about eggshells.

You gotta avoid witches. Oh, I would kill somebody for smeg shells right now. I already have my own burden to bear. Well then we need to leave it. We can't... I'm gonna put it this way. It was a neutral reading, both wheel and woe. Right now, we're in full-blown woe. We're adding a little bit of woe for just a tiny bit of wheel. That's not great. We can't handle any more woe.

And if he were to go off the deep end carrying that thing around, it would kill us all. If we could wrap it, maybe we would be safe. Miss Marsh is not wrong. It's not worth the risk. We've got a treacherous journey ahead of us. I have the power of the sea in my veins and my person, and all of the beasties within me.

And there is weal and woe in that. If my emotion makes me lose control, you might have to put me down, especially after what Scrim and I went through. And I don't know if we could. If that thing gives him some kind of magical abilities and knocks him off the deep end, why are we trying to take something that doesn't belong to us and we don't know how to use it and we don't know what it does? It's a great artifact of the land. And it's not ours.

We're not grave robbers. This is a place for ghosts. And I agree. If it would be disrespectful to take, I would advise against it. You were encouraged, though, by the keeper of this horn. Not to take the horn. To slay the dragon. Yeah, because we're capable. We all have our strengths. If she wanted us to take that thing, she would have said it. She would have given it to us. She would have told us how to use it.

I'm gonna turn, walk back to the horn, and take my cloak and just sort of put it between my hand and place my hand on it with the seal skin between. You sort of enwrap it like this at one of its middle points where it's a little easier to get a grip around it, and through the pelt you don't feel any... what's the word I'm looking for? Emotional spike?

Surge? Muting of the emotional charge that goes through you. Fuck that. Wow, what a jibby. We're out. I still felt it.

I believe we could wrap it dozens of times if we would still feel it. It belongs here on this mountain. Well, then that's settled. We can go with that. That's enough for me. We know it is here, and if we need to come back for it, for whatever reason, we can. I suppose if we find the hexature armament, and this is the only thing that can break it, we can just bring it all the way back and smash it on the horn.

Yeah, I mean, it's been here for thousands of years. Surely it'll be fine for a few more. Boy, certainly there's no bad omen in your words, Mr. Staviskelch. Never. There's never been a bad omen that's ever followed. Hopefully that's bringing the hexature armament. We gotta get off this mount up. Let this go.

And I'll start hobbling down the mountain. It won't flatten the mountain like Mr. Yornear saw in his visions. You start to walk, all five of you together, leaving the horn behind. And it takes you some time to catch up with Daisy, who had left almost 10, 15 minutes before you made the decision to turn around. But as you were walking down the camps, you see...

see that they are barren and empty. The camps where you had been playing these games, there's no cheese wheels, there's no wooden structures, there's no trinkets or marks, except for the ones that you seemingly made as the only real creatures on the side of this mountain in the former day during midwinter.

There is evidence of footfalls. There's evidence of people running down a sloped pass attempting to chase an imaginary wheel of cheese. You can see where at the second camp, you can see where Yorneir built a fire. You can see where you guys would have been taking dips in saunas, frozen

Completely closed. And right next to it, you find five gold pieces. Almost right in the so. Five gold pieces that you had gifted to a dragonborn who is no longer clearly a part of this plane of reality. I pick them back up. Finally, you make it to the bottom where this adventure began. You find yourself at the Wheel of Years.

With all of the small stones encircling this great, tall area, looking at the center, it's impossible to tell if it looks more stained from what happened so freshly in your minds and your memory in the former day, the previous day, or if it still just stained from centuries ago when the last real ritual sacrifice would have happened here. Can we stop for just a second? Sure.

I would like to kind of just poke around with the rustiest and oldest of my harpoons that I wouldn't really care that much about. And I would want to look for like ancient bones.

Okay. And like see if there's... You start like dragging it through sort of a... What is the word that they use when you like drag up the bottom of a... A dredge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You start dredging through the snow. I've done some dredging. Well dredged. And make an investigation check. Oysters, clams...

Investigation. That's not where I'm a Viking. Investigation of the 17. Thank you. You all watched Yornir doing this, and Daisy seemingly has picked this location, having gotten away from the true coldest peak, to start making her own camp.

as a stopping point before continuing back further down the mountain as it's the middle of the night. So you have plenty of time, Barnabas, to feel satisfied that there aren't bones in this space. Is that because they always picked up after themselves for the ritual sacrifice, picking up whatever hit the stone and then making their way up to the top of the mountain? Or because so much time has passed that that is lost to the ages? You can't say. All right, nothing to bury. Thank you.

Perhaps Honey is right. We should make camp. It is late and... Her name's Daisy. Honey was her sister. No, wasn't the other way around? No, Honey was the other girl. Oh, no. Not again. I believe Daisy is right. Perhaps we should make our camp here. I just don't see any creatures to hunt. Any rivers for fishing.

I know I am so hungry. Me too. We don't need to go to bed hungry. You can call me whatever you like. Honey, Daisy, it's better than what they called me. I've got the fire going. Come warm up. And you can see that Daisy has been able to produce a small campfire with what limited kindling there is. I will run to the fire while looking over my shoulder and plop myself next to it. Yeah, I'll join her.

And the five of you find yourself finally starting to feel a little warmth and thinking about how to rest, what to do with the next day. So do we have any idea how long it's going to take us to get back the direction that we came from to find this city? That is a good question. Dungeon Master, do I get a sense of based on what she drew? Very rough estimate.

of how far I think it might be and based on how we sort of came off one side of the mountain range and then going back down, do I have a sense of how long I'm going to take? That's a really good question. Make a survival check. That's about the right... Brilliant sevens on this guy. Twist up.

You think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We need this answer. Timing of how long it takes to get places is very important in Icebound. Better. It is better. You think it's about two days. Survival. Plus eight is nineteen. Okay. Nineteen nineteen. Okay. Nineteen nineteen. Nineteen nineteen. One moment. Try that.

Looking at, or thinking back in your mind, I have the abstract map that the Archdruid drew for you. It felt like a shorter journey than it would be from the tip of the coast to the southernmost coast. So not perhaps the full two and a half months that it took you to walk from that very southern isle that

that apparently didn't exist, that second island, all the way to the crown. Now, you didn't make it to the northern coast, so who knows how far that distance is, but you would guesstimate it could be as short as a month and a half for close to two months, or it could be as long as three months. - My guess was a month and a half. It will be at least a month and a half. - Are we even sure that this city exists?

There was a bunch of spirits that told us to go here. Which would make sense as to why they didn't know about that other island. Clearly it wasn't there when they passed. Well, he didn't consider that, Miss March.

Just because the city was there when they were alive doesn't mean it's there now. The Archdruid had indicated when they celebrated at their previous holy day, the last spring, that they celebrated on the southern isle and that they hadn't seen an island. But you could see the second island from the basalt tower when you guys were on that smaller second island.

So the inference that basically it, the island appeared within the last year. Sometime in the last year. That's the inference that you can make. Could they see the city they're talking about from the island? No, that would be hundreds of miles. Oh, okay. Well, there certainly won't be a city there, Miss March, but where there was an empire, certainly there are ruins.

I can't imagine a bunch of barbarians and a dragon queen would have been able to thoroughly annihilate what was there. Even if the city is our destination, at best, a month and a half into winter, back towards the cold, with, I mean, just to get here, across wastelands with nothing to hunt...

No cover. And that was when we were moving away from it. How could we possibly head into the cold? Well, remember, Mr. Fire Blossom, where we were was cold. What did those little dragon folk, the kobolds, call it? The Great Wastes?

Where we were was the wasteland of the continent. She said it's a great tundra, huge herds of beasts. They must be eating something. There's foliage as well. We can take down something that hasn't worn the size of what was on the mountaintop, even half the size of that. I'm thinking of all the meat. We could eat for a week, two weeks. Maybe even longer. And longer than that?

It may take us three months then to get there if we camp for a week, but if we need to regain our strength and camp for a week after a kill, as long as Mr. Yornear deems it wise... It will not be as brutal a journey. I have traveled across countless tundra. It is cold. It can be dangerous, but it is not like the wastes that we traversed. What side of the mountain are we on?

You are right at the threshold where the mountain range that has been referred to both by the kobolds and by the dragonborn as the spine. And so you imagine that it gets...

the range gets shorter and shorter and shorter and flattens out as you reach the northern coast, and that's effectively where you are. If you wanted to head east, you'd be able to slowly make your way around to the other side. Rather than enjoying the transportation that was offered to you by the kobold, you could make it by foot and not have to go through the mountain pass, which you so greatly avoided during your northern escape from the winter and from the ice sheets of the Withered Lands.

Withered lands. So I guess what I'm asking is if we're at the tip of a mountain range, can I see to the southeast and like, or it's dark now, but like think back to while I was on the mountain, did I notice that like looking southwest was Orval Waste, but southeast was Tundra? Yes. Do I remember that? You can remember that, yes. From what I remember, when it was daylight, they did appear to be more traditional Tundra.

I mean, if there's a river that has pike or any fish the size of the ones that we feasted upon in that village, we smoke that, that'll last us weeks on the sledge. I guess we know a lot more skills. We've developed a lot. I mean, we crossed with almost no resources and made it here, so if we can do that, I guess we can do this. Then are we agreed?

We need those to bring up a good point that may be fruitless. As long as we don't have any other leads, I don't see why not. We have to at least try, right? If it's all right, I'd stick with you guys. I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't go home. I don't want to. Yeah, you're family now. Thank you. Even if you can be a pain in my ass. But I'll smile at her. As long as you promise all of us that...

If we get beset upon by a terrible beastie and we start falling, you run as fast as you can. You do not try to save a single one of us. And then you scavenge and survive, get to the coast, do whatever you have to do to survive and get off this god's forsaken rock. Just to be clear, you can save me. I'm getting better with my axe. I need to practice with my bow, my sister's bow. She was always a better shot.

Maybe you can help me with that. Anytime you want. I also want to know how you channel the things that you, how do you make fire with your hand? Is that something that can be learned? How do you create a protective barrier and stop things from getting at you? How do you change your form in the way that you do? I want, if I could, learn to try. And we have weeks, it seems, to have a go at it.

Well, I'd be happy to teach you anything that I could possibly pass along. I don't know if you can learn what I can do. A great spirit awakened something deep within me and that's when I began to be able to do this. I don't know if you would need an experience like that of your own, but I would be more than happy to show you what I can.

I would love that. From any of you. Days walking and eating what we kill and... That doesn't... That sounds like a great life to me. Do you understand? I believe that what Queenie does is the most in line with the current experience. Perhaps she could expand your knowledge and ability with the primal magics of this plane. Primal magics here seem strong.

They are. Yeah, I'm happy to teach you whatever... Anything that I know. I was taught by a friend. So, you should be too. I'm exhausted. So I'm gonna get some rest. But... Maybe tomorrow night? Absolutely. We're gonna need...

two bows firing upon those giant rhinos just for us to be able to catch up so I can smash its head in with my anchor. - You won't need to, I'll shoot it between the eyes. It'll be dead before you even get there. - Well now I'm gonna run extra fast, Miss Marsh. - I'll wink at Barnabas, I'll rat him counting on it. - I'm 10 feet faster than I was, I got crab legs. - Does that mean you just get on your back and it's-- - You'd be really good at changing the oil in cars.

*laughter*

My lower head just turns into an eel. With that, she, it's not snowing, so she just pulls as much material over herself as possible in her makeshift bed and rolls over close to the fire, staying warm, trying to recover from the exhaustion of the day's activities and the loss of the caloric intake

that happened. Um, I would, I would want to wait until I feel like she's sleeping, um, before we turn to the rest of the group. Five minutes and you hear that patterned breathing. She's out. Young lady. Okay, um, listen, I didn't want to scare the girl, but, uh, I have really bad news. Alright, um,

The one you were crying about while you were sleeping in the egg.

Yes. Like weeping, openly. Like a child. I thought that I finally got away. I hadn't seen it the whole time since we've been here. And I thought maybe, maybe I'd finally found a place where it couldn't follow me. But when I looked down, it was there, staring up at me. And it commanded me to say the words and pledge myself, like the rest of you. To it? To all of this, whatever we're doing. Oh. Fate already pledged you, Scrim. It was just a formality.

Could it be that it's a... it's a positive beast?

You haven't seen this thing. Well, no, I guess you did. You saw it in my vision. Oh, you're the great black hound. You watched as the... When the memory of his departed from his original experience, this beast jumped out of nowhere, out of a mausoleum, slobbering and almost attempting to perhaps consume Scrim before the woolly rhino came in and smashed it away from his body before the memory ended. Why would it force me to...

pledge myself to Jakar. I don't believe a hound that size could survive in a climate like this. I was going to say. No! You don't understand! When I stepped out, there weren't any colors. I didn't see anything. There wasn't anything there. And underneath of my feet, looking up at me from the air for nothing, it was as if my footsteps were over its paws and it threatened me. What did it say to you? Speak the words.

So I did. How did you know what words to speak? Was it some sort of innate knowledge? That's a good question. It was just the whole pledge thing. It was just... I don't know. I don't know. It was just... I mean, how did everyone else know what to say? Or do? In that moment? I'm just smart. I heard her song in my head, and I repeated after her. Fu Zhao appeared to me.

Asked me if I would pledge myself to the healing of this land. And a voice I'd never heard before told me to do it, so I said alright. We also heard our own voices tell us. No, we were saying it.

So when the triad spoke through you, you heard only the triad, but an audible Yornear spoke the words out loud because they essentially were channeling through you in that moment. And then you were able to respond. It wasn't very formal. I mean, you all heard me. I was just trying to agree. I just wanted to get back away from the creature.

You're already frightened and I don't want to scare you more than you're already scared. But there's a folk tale where I come from of Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Oh shit, you're not supposed to say the name three times. Sam! Hey, nice fucking model! The big name completely changes.

Who are you? That would be fucking incredible. Can you imagine? All of a sudden you teleported to the Witchlight Carnival. Derek, let's replace us now. It would be like one of those video games that have a really bizarre crossover, like Smite Time Slipknot. Yeah.

I'm into it, let's do it. Or what is it, BioShock Infinite and Return of the Jedi? Fuck! Is that real, Hank? Yeah, Return of the Jedi, yeah, Return of the Jedi and BioFireTalk Infinite. What the fuck? Okay. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to say that three times. Anyways, not real.

The idea is there's this entity and he wants you to say his name three times because then it summons him and gives him power and he can do all this fun stuff for you. Actually, it really wasn't a child story. Why did my mom tell me about this? Anyway, the entire point of it is that Beetlejuice needs you. Beetlejuice is nothing without you. I think this thing, this pupper doggo that's been following you around,

It needs you, clearly. 'Cause like, no offense, you're not running from anything. It knows where you are. Clearly at this point. So if it knows where you are and it's super powerful and it could just kill you in your sleep, why isn't it doing it? That's a good question. I don't know. 'Cause it needs you. I mean, maybe. You could be onto something. I just... So that should give you some power. It's your Beetlejuice. I certainly don't have a name.

I don't know what it's called. I couldn't even read the contract that I signed. And I don't know the guy who I scammed for that coin. That cursed coin. You might be onto something. Do you think the Hound is serving perhaps the same thing that you are? You mean the guy that I conned? Or perhaps you all serve the same master? Well, I've always suspected that this entity or whatever this creature was was not just acting on its own accord. But I certainly don't have any confirmation of that.

Has it compelled you to do anything? Well, no. I mean, it doesn't really even talk to me until now. I mean, this is the first time it's gotten that close to me. Other than the incident in the graveyard, of course. Are those the only times you've seen it? Oh, no. I've seen it a few many times, and I could hear it. I could even smell it. But I would run, and I kept running and running and running and moving, and I never stayed in the same place for too long. Well, it sounds like, aside from it being present...

It's done nothing to harm you. Well, that's because I haven't given it the chance. I won't become a statistic. You think that the reason it hasn't harmed you yet is because you have run from it so fast and hid from it so well that it has not been able to find you? Uh, yes. And yet, when you come to the farthest reaches of a Bantress, it appears and lifts you above a crevasse? Yes. All right.

I stand by my original theory, but it did manage to find me again. That was the only upside of this place until now. Scrim, do you know, does the word grim, grim mean anything to you? Yeah, a lot of spooky. I don't know what he's asking for. I mean, nothing other than the word, just like Queenie said, it's an adjective to describe...

Other words, things. It rhymes with his name. That's true. There's also that. Yes, green and green. That's the thing. There was a time when I was weathering a storm in a small little fishing village in Vargust, which I believe is where you're from. That's right. And there was an old man who had a constant pot of coffee in front of him. Looks like he hadn't slept in weeks.

And he was shaking and speaking nonsense. He was at the corner of the tavern. It looked like he had seen a ghost. Or a demon. And he kept saying, "The Grimm. The eyes. The Grimm. The eyes." I don't know if he survived the night. The storm cleared and I was out of there before sunrise, but... I don't know if it's the same phenomenon. It makes sense. Why else would something stalk something else if not to feed on it? I don't know. I just don't have any of the answers and I'm just...

Or it's only stalking you because you keep running. I just don't want to find out what happens when it finally catches me, but here we are. What I can say is it's only prey if it runs. That's a very good point. Are you suggesting I try to fight this thing? No, I'm suggesting you stay and talk to it. I think you're very strong, Scrim. You've clearly been eating your scare. Well, thank you. You're welcome.

I don't, however, think that you have outsmarted or outrun this thing. That remains to be seen. It was here today. Right. Right. So what I think is that it clearly need- it chose you for a reason. I have a question for you. Sure. Did you have your magical abilities before this thing came into your life? Oh, absolutely not. It has everything to do with that accursed contract I signed. Why would it have given you those abilities?

You don't know. If it just wanted to kill you. Especially because the guy seemed pretty mad that I had conned him out of that coin. Just food for thought. Whole lot of mysteries. Yeah. I believe the point of all of this is that fate has put you on this path. You were supposed to be right here, right at this moment, and the hound being able to physically touch you at any given moment, and yet it has not brought you harm.

So what I would say about all of this is that you continue on your path, Scrim. You continue. And if this beast pounces from the shadows, we will do our best to defend you. And if you get dragged to hell... That might happen! That is your fate. We would never let that happen. Well, there's a price for everything, and you got magical abilities, so you must have paid something. We'll try to defend you, is what I'm saying, but...

without knowing the nature of the contract that you signed it is unfortunately impossible to guarantee survival scrim there do you ever pay attention to the stories that people will tell in all the taverns that you spend in your entire life oh of course i have listened to hundreds of different every single culture and every single continent across the ventress has a stories

of beings, entities, creatures, demons, ghosts that will entice you with great power and you'll live a great life, perhaps with riches, perhaps with lust. But at the end, the beast always devours that poor soul. I always chose not to listen to the end part. I like to dip out early on those stories. Well, you didn't read the contract. I appreciate...

your words of encouragement and, you know, the offer of protection. I just really don't want you going out on a limb for me.

It's the Studebaker. It's the Hattling. Oh no. The Hatt knows how to drive a car. What the fuck is that? It's Christine M. Cujo. Do you remember that really creepy Sesame Street movie where there's the really horribly looking evil female Big Bird?

that drives the car no yeah no no oh my god no and as a kid i remember being scared by this thing absolutely fucking and it's like literally it's almost like a it's almost like a freaking noun that's like driving and like chasing after them all i'm thinking of is the where car from futurama uh yeah oh yeah you were saying oh yeah i was just saying a positive to all this is beetlejuice is pretty stupid

So maybe your thing, whatever it is, is also pretty stupid. Ah, well, alright. I will take all of this advice to heart, and if one morning you stumble upon my body torn to shreds and viscera everywhere, then you'll know what happened to me. I just didn't want there to be any secrets or surprise. Alright, well thanks. I mean, surely we'd at least hear your ribs crunching. That's just it, who knows? Maybe, maybe not.

Maybe by the time you hear that, it'll be too late. Or perhaps we'll just wake up and you'll be gone. That's right. That's very possible. Taken into the shadows to hell. I wish we had some food.

I am assuming that if you have rations, spend them, because there are consequences to not eating. I don't think we have rations. I think we're all out. Unfortunately, Derek. Good to know. We're going to start to starve. Yeah, well, that is unfortunately the nature of a survival hardcore campaign. I do have a question, though, regarding Barnabo's and Scrimm's condition. It specifically said that it takes twice as much food for us to feel full. Three times. How many times? That does not mean we will starve three times as quickly. That's correct.

Because they're very different. You will not starve three times as quickly, but it takes three times for you to prevent starvation. So if we only eat like one third of what we need to in a day, we just don't, we just continue to starve. It's like you ate one third of one ration if you were normal. So it just doesn't really do anything. Yeah, right. Okay, just wanna make sure. Rabbit starvation. Yep. Alright, well, I appreciate all of you listening to my tales of woe. I suppose I should try to get some sleep. Scrim, look at it this way. It can't be as bad as the BC we killed on the ice.

I don't know. I don't know, Barnabas. This thing is the most horrific. And it's weird because you think it's just a hound, right? But there's something about it. There's something off. Something more sinister. Together... I just can't explain it. Together, everything we have faced, we've brought down. If it comes for you, and we stand strong, I don't think there'll be anything to worry about. I think we can take it together.

As always, your optimism is stunning. I just want to remind you that the Wendigo literally killed me. Oh, yeah, me. But otherwise, I appreciate it, Taishen. Thank you very much. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll just hope it doesn't show up. Here we are. We've suddenly reached an impasse. Oh, yeah, we were brought back, Scrim, and I don't think it was for no reason. Is anyone else tired? Let's get some sleep.

Good night. I would like to know about whatever important rituals we should be observing in the presence of our shaman on his holiest day, so that we may be respectful to his faith and culture. I've already done a rune reading, I've already celebrated the festival, and I've already communed with the tribe. I believe what we have done today is enough.

It's also about three in the morning on the day of the 15th. It is no longer midwinter. Good night. Good night. And with that, you all start to make your way into your own pelts and coverings and blankets and huddling for warmth as close to the campfire as best as you can make it. And you start to drift off into sleep. Scrim, you're awake for a little while longer than your companions.

thoughts swimming in your mind, thinking about fate or lack thereof. Why wasn't there a voice for you when you stood out there on the cliff but were forced to agree by this mysterious creature that strikes such terror in your heart whenever you see its eyes? Rolling over, thinking these thoughts, you are staring at the now horizontal wheel of years.

Each one of these stones from the back in this light looks like a gravestone. And you see the eyes from the shadows start to emerge. And you see that same hound stalking through and across the circle. It stops at the center and circles before lying down itself. It seems to look down for the first time, not giving you this long stare at the bloodstained surface of this ritual place.

puts its nose down, licks the surface of the stone, and for the first time, you see its eyes close, frozen in place as you are, staring at a mound that you can only assume is this hound. It takes a very long time for you to get to sleep, but eventually it takes you. You wake into the morning light, and curiously, the five of you stand, sit up,

waking up to a very cold day, a winter's day, but staring at a blue sky that has a sun in it. And you wonder if, it would if things had not gone the way that they went yesterday. Hungry as you are,

cold as you are, putting your things away, your fingers are chilly and cold, you're shivering a little bit. It's a quiet morning, but with a little bit of what left of your resources you have, your fuel for a campfire, you're able to get a little bit of warm and stare at a non-breakfast before you decide what you'd want to do with your day. That's where you find yourself. What are you doing?

We should have Algoraly travel as far as we can. Yeah, the sooner we get farther down south, the sooner we might start seeing some game we can hunt. We should keep our eyes open for anything that could be provisions for us. If I had a frozen river, I would kill the sea.

I'm sure we'll find many rivers. I remember from the top of the mountain looking, it looked like there may have even been lakes and a waterway. It's not very far from here. Is there any chance that we come across something that you wouldn't be able to break through? Like it's too frozen. I think with Mr. Fireblossom and his unlimited supply of fire, it is winter though, and perhaps it'll freeze as fast as he can melt it. Oh, we got through that ice flow at the...

the like a fishing village we pierced through that right so that was pretty thick i'm just worried about the temperatures coming up from the south that we were running away from that could be a problem but we'll cross it when it comes right no sense in worrying about it now maybe if we can if we end up coming across one of those woolly mammoths if it's if it's not disrespectful um

If we can kill it for food, we could use that for enhanced, just better protection against the cold. I'll help as best I can from my hiding spot. I can still shoot arrows from a distance. So if you guys need help hunting today, I'm definitely interested in a meal tonight. Let us begin. So we head southeast. You start to make your way, and you make yourself...

from the Wheel of Years. You're relieved when you wake up, by the way, to notice that the Wheel of Years is clear. I assumed. Did I say that shit? Oh my god! Oh, there it is. Yeah, oh, hey. Sit, roll over.

You start to walk down the same path that you came up, compelled to find out what was at the top of this mountain as you were earlier the former day. This, let me adjust the music, is a familiar path. And talking as you might, on and off, walking in silence for some time, an hour or two of the morning goes by when

You all need to make a perception check. Does it involve smelling food? No. Okay. Natural 20. Nice, congrats. Gotta give it up. 14 for Barnabas. 19. But not even close to 28. 22. 22. Um...

Taishan, you notice a little after Yornir notices this, but you guys have gotten accustomed to traveling together, and there's a pair of footsteps that are missing. You turn around, and Daisy, who'd been taking up the rear of your line, she's 60 feet back, and she's standing in the path, not following anymore along with your party, just looking like this.

Uh... Night, young lady? Keep up! We gotta find that lake! Or river for some food.

Is she looking at like towards us? She looking like off to the... She seems to be looking southeast and not at the horizon even, not at the mountains, but just like up into the sky at like almost a 35, 40 degree angle. She's gone slack. She isn't responding to any of your calls or cries.

This is interesting. I'm gonna flip around and just approach her and see if I can... You start to walk up and you get to within about 15, 10 feet of her when you hear the sound of a creature.

a beast. Very, very close. It must be very silent for it is a flying creature, a feathered creature, a creature that you know to be attracted to a specific type of herb. And all of a sudden, two massive talons snatch Daisy up by the shoulders, picking her up and

flying away, this huge feathered beast with a massive wingspan. She disappears almost instantly. I'd say in just the 15 feet that you were walking, she's suddenly 150 feet away at least before you're able to make a response.

So I can't do anything as I... I don't think I can throw my harpoon that far. You can make a dexterity check to see how quickly you can react, and if you get it, you take an action. Did you say a distance? Did you give us a distance? I'm freezing time. It's 150 feet away, and it's carrying her. She's now 60 feet up from the ground and climbing. I'll just blast this 120. Okay.

My harpoon's 120. You can still... Is it max 120? Max 120. Oh, yeah. Disadvantage. No, no, no. Disadvantage...

So it's disadvantage after 30, and then the max range is 120. You're just out of range. So what does that mean? You can't go beyond that. It fizzles out. It just doesn't even go past 120. Just out of reach. Queenie. So can I dex check? You can make a dex check to see if you can take an action. And I will roll a shot from Queenie, because I'm going to assume she's going to take out her bow and do some shit. Yes. Yeah.

She'd probably rabbit leap forward and, well, she aims, fires in midair. At disadvantage because it's, oh, it's at 150 feet, so she would actually be just enough to be all right. Holy shit.

So are we assuming that this creature like basically did some sort of like hypnosis thing here and then like... You remember that the kobolds would, uh, told you that it had been flying in, picking off the kobolds and then flying back to the mountains in order to feed on them. But horrifyingly that it had a glare that would allow you to, that would make you give up like an animal being eaten. Okay.

That's right. I thought it had some sort of ability. Basically, it was an ability to, like, your survival instinct was turned off. Yeah. Dang. Your survival instinct, survive and fight, is turned off. You're, like, placated. Yep, yep, yep. You're placid or whatever. I got a 21 there. Nice. A 21 is enough. I will allow you to take an action, and Queenie, uh, oh, hell no, she releases from her longbow, and you see the arrow sail, and you can hear this, ah!

as it sticks into this creature's wing and continues to start to flap away just as Yornir makes his choice. And I'll roll her damage. - Nice. - While Yornir, or rather, while Rix looks through D&D Beyond, and I'll let you do your math first. I would throw a harpoon with a rope on it and it would just

That's what I did, I fired off-- Yeah, I absolutely would have run up, fired off a firebolt, and it would have just not even come close. She knows that she struck true. Queenie is notching another arrow, and yeah, it would have been really fun to fucking rope away. Yeah, that's-- yeah, yeah. I am pissed that it is 30 feet. And so it would have--

And so I'm running, I will run after it as I'm pulling my rope and coiling it as I sprint. But I would like to ask while Richie's looking at his abilities, do we get any sense of what it looks like beyond being feathered and winged?

Is it bird-like? Is it avian in its construction? Is it more griffin-like in its... Or hippogriff, or... Oh, shit. It has red and white feathers. Almost drake-like and bird-like face. It's like snake-like reptile. Glowing red eyes that match its feathered body. It's like a fucking raptor.

And huge yellow talons like chicken feet. It messes me up. I imagine it like the final boss from Sly Cooper. You know, I've never played Sly Cooper. Isn't he like a robotic animal? He's a clockwork. Yeah, he's a clockwork. It is serpentine. Hanhaka's right. Yeah, serpentine. It's like a wind serpent from World of Warcraft. Yeah, yeah. It's a giant wind serpent. Well, what's that dinosaur that has a giant, like, thing on its head that goes back?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know exactly. The der-er-er-er-er-er-er. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's got like a crazy, almost like a... Who else does that? Like fucking second form freezer. Is it the pterodactyl? Are you thinking of a pterodactyl? Like some kind of raptor? No, no, he's thinking of... I know what you're talking about. I think they're herbivores. Yeah, maybe. Well, just, yeah, it kind of looks like that. Are they like pterodont type things? Oh, fuck. I don't know how to ask you. Anyway, here it is. So I have two questions. One, is there snow on the ground? Ha ha ha.

We're in Dracuna. Yeah, it's not fresh snow, but it's not a snow that you could bunch up if you needed to. There was snowfall two days ago and it wouldn't have melted, certainly. Two, would it be reasonable to say that I have a drop of molasses on me? From the provisions of the ship. In my re-agent. Ah!

I will say that molasses was a very common ships. So a matter of if you would tap molasses with you. I think it's a question of if you had the foresight to keep molasses on you with all of your herbalism items. So I hate to continue to stack checks in order for you to take this action, but if you want a drop of molasses, I would set a low DC for an intelligence check.

Not a wisdom? To have the wisdom to keep it? I'll give you wisdom and we'll make the DC 10. Because I do have a whole Herbalism kit with the Herbalisms and stuff, right? Yeah, you especially wanted to enjoy the Herbalism test. I'm going to lower it to 8 because I remember you enjoy Herbalism. Really pushing the limits here, Rich.

We're saying it's a wisdom check? Yeah. And the DC's eight? Yep. I got a 10. Oh, there we go. Would have been mean to interview even a 10. You know that this, you're now starting to make use of the magical essence of this molasses in what you're choosing to do here in this moment, which I have no idea what you're fucking doing. I will, uh,

Shout out a warden giant, and I will reach my hand out, and you will see this creature, like ice start to form all over it, and I'm casting Slow on it. Oh shit! Wisdom 16 saving throw. Oh fuck.

That's huge. He's icing the fucking creature's wings. Wisdom 16 saving throw. So Iron Man of you. It's cold weather flying in Northrend. He got a natural 16. His wisdom is negative one. No way! Shut up! What the hell? I'm not fucking around. Wow!

- Wow! - What is this? - And I'm, it has a minus two AC, is disadvantaged on dex saving throws. It can only use an action or a bonus action, not both. It can only make one attack on a certain-- - So does that mean it's in range then? - Can we move anywhere nearer to it? - It moves into a gliding pattern and at this point now it's,

It's still 150 feet away. It's about to take its next thing. I think we need to roll for a fucking. Yeah, we had to roll for an issue. Oh my God. My sprint is 80 feet. Holy shit. I'm gonna get on your shoulders. That thing was gonna get the fuck away. I actually was like thinking, is there a way to... It's gonna be that TikTok.

with me feeding you Slim Jims. - Can? No, actually. Actually, can I pick up Scram? - Yeah, I weigh like, I probably weigh 40 pounds. - No, it-- - 50 pounds. - Scoop 'em up. - It is 150 feet away and its speed is halved? Okay. So it's actually still probably faster than you guys. - Well, so I would've, if I pass the dex check and get a chance to slow it,

I don't know if that would affect how far away it is as it like turns and as I'm slowing it, right? So yeah, it's going into almost like a glide now and it's doing it's it's trying to move its limbs as quickly as possible, but it's not being like felled by the snow, by the slow. But yeah, roll for initiative and

and we need to clear up a little battle space, I think. - I got a 21. - Queenie is already running, and she's trying not to hit Daisy, but shooting into the air. I'll roll for her as well. Wow, she's fucking a huge initiative bonus. What the fuck? - Yeah. - Gonna need it. - Let's do this. - And I need to roll it. - Do I have? - Amazing. There is no way. - Oh, there's no way. - All right.

No, I'm probably- All right, 25 to 30 for initiative. No, no. 20 to 25. That's me, 21. 21, you'll go first and then Queenie. 15 to 20. 17. 17, 10 to 15.

That's an eight, that's a five. So this is the correct initiative order. Scrim, this creature is 150 feet away. You see it slow down. It's also about 60 feet in the air. And so you have your entire turn to do what you want in order to catch up. - I see this happening. I see that my first two Eldritch Blasts missed. My hand is glowing with fiendish magic.

- Sorry. - No, it's all good. It's all good. - This is combat music, right? - My hand is still glowing with fiendish magic. And as I see this happening, I will look to Barnabas and I will say, "Come on, come on, we gotta get a move on!" And I'm gonna climb up his back and like straddle like his neck.

and ride him into combat. Okay. And I'm holding my action until I get close enough to blast this thing with my Eldritch Blast. You've been made steed, Barnabos. You feel the lightweight frame of, it's almost no weight to you at all with your strength and with your size. And I do have netting that would be perfect handholds in places. I'm gonna climb up, pull, and I'm gonna take it. Look at me now, come on! You just speedrun Barnabos and you're on him in an instant. And are you doing anything else with your turn? I am just holding my Eldritch Blast and that's my turn.

So when I'm in range, I'll fire off two Elder Splats. Queenie's up, she's gonna take another shot, and this one misses, and it narrowly misses Daisy, fortunately. And she's going to use the rest of her movement to move 30 feet closer. Barnabus, you're up. I am going to have to dash. So I'm going to just sprint 80 feet.

I love that you have 40 feet of movement. You close the distance. Oh, and while I'm doing that, I will say, okay, Scrim, I'm gonna give you a walkway to this beastie as I finish pulling my rope and grab my harpoon and...

just hold onto it while I'm sprinting. As Scrim, you will get probably sea water in your mouth when you get away. And you will get poked by a sharp barnacle. As a, not my sweet meat, a stingray tail will shoot out from behind me. Nice. And kind of extend right past you as I will take the tail action here. You do that, Taishen.

So, I'm just really confused about what the battle situation looks like. Well, let's put some battle pieces on a battle board. And would that get Scrim and Rage? That would probably get Scrim and Rage. Yeah, so if I'm able to get to 120 feet, then I would throw the harpoon as well. Because my understanding is that we're on a slope, and it's here. Yeah.

So if we continue to run at it, we're running down a slope and it's still like above us? It's 60 feet above the ground where it is. So even though you're running down a slope, it's not 60 feet above where you are, if that makes sense.

60 feet off the ground. But if we're running down a slope, it will continue to be above us as we descend to approach it. Yes. So if it were above you right now, it would be 30 feet above you, but by the time you reach where it is right now, it's 60 feet above the ground. Ice guy. Let's put it here. Pythagoras is a dick, man. Yeah. Classic. And can you map out how far away, like, uh, uh,

80 feet would be. I have no idea how many squares that would be. 16. Right here. I'm putting you right here and there. That's where Barnabas is. So he's at the head of the pack because he just ran 80 feet like a fucking...

Lightning Lord, like a maniac. Now you dash, so you wouldn't have been able to throw your anger. Correct. So I'm getting against a scrim and then the next time, so obviously I'm bonus action, rage, and then sprinting. But your distance is 120 feet, so at some point riding Barnabos, you would have been able to do this. That's exactly right. If I have to do this as advantage, I will. I'm going to fire off two blasts. Two blasts.

Why would you have disadvantage? - I don't know, 'cause she's running around like an absolute maniac. - It's a Sherlock, right? - I've got Barnacle in my testicles. - Subtract one from what you roll for Barnacle. - There's actually a muscle that slices your calf. - Ah, fuck! - That's that muscle right in the thigh. - Or the artery. AC is 13. - I don't give a damn.

Well, I got a natural one, so that's the one from the Barnacle that got me in my testes. And then I got a 23. So one of them hits. Roll for damage. It's just 1d10, actually. Oh gosh, we're in Orgrimmar now. Eight. Eight points of Eldritch Blast damage. Eight points. It feeds its magic, fires from my hand, and...

- You can twist the natural one too. - Oh yeah, let's do that. - Do you want to? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is it worth it for, okay. - Yeah, I was just-- - I guess you do a bunch of them, right? - Yeah, we were like, if Daisy's life wasn't on the line. - Yeah. - That'll be a 20 to hit. - That hits. - So then in addition to the eight, it will be another.

Nine damage. Nice! So 17 points of Eldritch Blast damage. That's outstanding. That is some force. It gets blasted in the back and it manages to hold on to Daisy. The-- Taishen, now it's your turn. Thanks for the trust. Okay, so... You're technically twice as far back as where Barnabas is. Okay.

Because it's, I'm going to say he's 80 feet away from me right now. So you're 80 feet away from me. Yeah. And Scrim. So I'm 160 feet away? 150 feet away. Yeah. Okay. So almost. I'm going to walk 30 feet.

Stay there. Yeah, yeah, oh my what? Walk 30 feet to get there which would bring me That's 120 foot distance. That's right. Yeah, okay It's his lice comb so you're just It's really nice eggs

Remember kindergarten? Unfortunately. And I will fire off a firebolt. Firebolt goes 120 feet? Yeah. That's like standard cantrip length. Yep.

Doesn't mess around. I've been a bard for too long. I should have taken poison spray. It like, jerkles out. It's like 15 feet. It's 10 feet. I think it's 10 feet. That's awful. I think it's 10 feet. What did you roll? 21. Nice. Okay. 6, 2, d10. I've covered all my dice. Do some, like, deck saving throw stuff. You know what I mean? Well, I got some of that stuff, but it's all so far away from me. I can never get the material components for fireballs, so...

But you also don't want to cook Daisy. Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that one. Because you can't spell shape, can you? No. What is that? Oh, uh...

Felix and Fireball's teammates not hit them. Oh, no, I can't do that. So, Sarnax basically had to drop Fireballs on Shepard and was like, you have Devil Blood. I'm sorry, Shepard. Why for the first, like, seven episodes of Strahd, you use Sacred Flame and it's always one damage? Oh, yeah. That's outrageous. Awful.

Well, almost minimum, but three damage. Three damage. A little one and a two. Every little point counts. Yeah. You flame it, and a few of its feathers go up in smoke, and you can actually see them spiral off into what is almost the tree line, actually. That's the end of your turn? Yeah, that'll be all I can do, I think. Jorner. Did you put our new features in here? They should be.

If you go to inventory... Is it under, oh, it's an inventory, that's right. You have to equip the crystal and then attune to it. That's only true for you because of the way that yours mechanically works. And you're not technically attuned. I couldn't figure out how to fucking get it to do the shit. Okay, Derek, sorry I spoke. Sorry I spoke one time. Yeah, if you go, you can click on shamanic verve if you want to look at that ability. Okay. Manage.

- This is obnoxious. - So, welcome Horror Becomes Them, good to see you. - Hey, welcome back. - Welcome back. - We're doing some combat, which I understand is pretty frequent and common in a game of Dungeons and Dragons. - I was about to say, I'm so pissed we didn't fight that feathered beast. I'm so glad we get to kill him.

- I've been wanting to keep this thing for months. - No, we are killing this foe. - I thought you were gonna shed the herbs when you guys were like, maybe we shouldn't go back and see if we could get the kobolds and like, see if we could meet up at the gate and do the whole-- - I mean, who knows what kind of alchemical, you know, or herbalist properties. I will take my stone out. - I forgot about them. - And I will, as I start to run, I will throw it down under me and I'm using a bonus action to transform the stone

into a large caribou, and I basically slide it into battle. It pops me up on top of it. All of a sudden, a galloping, trampling caribou emerges under Yornir, perfectly saddled, ready to go. And then I am going to have the caribou dash.

Wow! And the speed is 60 feet. Let's go! So I can go 120 feet. So 85, 90, 95, 100... Jornir's literally cold hands. 10, 15, 120. Yeah! So I guess my question is, would that also take my action to make the beast dash?

Does that say here? No, it's acting on your turn and it's taking the dash action. Amazing. So if you use your wild shape feature to bonus action, create the caribou, you still have your action. Okay, perfect. Amazing. So I am now on a caribou and now I have my action. So then what I would like to do is cast, oh, is it, oh God. Tap.

Three foot radius of me. Okay. We're like booking it and we just see your name. Yeah. Like a ride by on a camera. Everyone's super fast. You're like, well, that guy's kind of slow. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Uh, no problem. We don't do combat very frequently and this is a month to month. So I'm not going to be like the, the hurry up and go DM, but hurry up and go. Okay.

Okay, I will then... Oh, that's concentration. And I need to keep slow on it, so I can't do that. That's hold person. He's not a person, right? It's horrible. Ice dinosaur. Then I am just going to...

Am I 60 feet? I'm probably a guess. Yeah, you're so close. You're within 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. And then 20 feet up. You're good. You're good. Well, no, he's 60 feet in the air, right? 30 feet. No, 60 feet, yes. 60 feet, yeah. Okay, so yeah, I would need to... Derek, I'm not within 60 feet of him here, right? Because Pythagoras is a dick. Yes.

He's at 40. 60 squared times 30 squared. It's 40, 60. So what's 40 squared? So what's, I'm going to need you to listen. You try and hold that. 40 squared plus 60 squared. What's the math on this? And then square root. 60 times 60. 3,600 plus...

1600. Is this what we thought we'd be doing tonight? No. Man, I'm getting, my brain hurts all of a sudden. Take me to the 8th grade! Take me to the 8th grade! What is the answer? Somebody can't, but not us. It's 72 feet away. Damn. Just enough. That's fine. I think what I will do is... Thanks for making me do algebra. I will ready a spell if it gets within 30 feet of me.

for whatever reason, I'm gonna ready a spell. - Okay, you ready a spell. It's turn and it screams this horrible, like, almost like a rooster crow, but monstrous. Yeah, exactly, thank you.

It's got an arrow in one side, it's a little burned, and it's experiencing this strange magical sensation. It starts to turn and face each of you, but as it does, it releases Daisy. It clearly knows that it is in for a fight and is caring less about the fact that it's carrying her than about the thing. She plummets and hits the ground with a smack.

Let's find out what happened to that. Her spine is shattered. She took damage from the cold. Yeah, yeah. She took like a fuck ton of damage. She had a long rest. She's going to be like a bag of loose meat. Oh, groundies. How many stories is that? Three stories? She takes a tremendous amount of damage and lands, and you do not know her current status. However... On top of the other slope, rolling down. It turns, and it's going to use...

It's gonna land. I would say that at this point it's going to land and let's put a token down. Let's put a token down to represent that Daisy is just underneath it essentially. Do you have a skull and crossbones token? It'll use its action and it will look at you, Yornir. Is it within 30 feet of you? If it landed, yes. No, it's like 40. It's like 40.

And it's still slow. It's 40, it's 40. It's still slow, so... It can take an action. It just flew 60 feet. But it can't take a bonus action. Correct. Or we can choose one or the other. It chooses to take an action in addition to having used its 45 feet of movement. Oh, it wouldn't have landed, so it's 15 feet in the air. Okay. So it's 15 feet in the air, and it stares at you, and its eyes start to flash and spiral around in this fashion, and you have to make a wisdom saving throw.

Well, at least that's where I'm a viking. This die's been treating me well. Oh, well, you spoke a little too soon. Would you like to twist it? I would like to twist this. Oh, yeah. Can I use two twists on this? You may. I'm just calling them both out. I'm just calling it now. Because I need to pass this. Because if I lose concentration, it'll make us at this point. That is a... 18.

Passes. You are able to look away at just the right moment, and even though you know you aren't quite in range in order to attack it, you look away, and you're now focusing on its body, almost like a Medusa. The eyes fade, and you can then look in her eyes again. It seems to be a charge and not a permanent passive effect, but it having used this ability and seeing that you didn't do anything, it screeches again in a horrifying manner. That'll be its turn. Scream, you're up.

I am shouting from Barnabas's shoulders while firing off two more Eldritch Blasts at it. One is a 17, one is a 13. It has an AC of 13. Because of slow. So I'm good. My Manta Ray tail's like slapping your leg like a Dalmatian. 7, I can't concentrate!

Ten total points of damage. Not great. I rolled one high, one low. Okay. What does it look like getting hit by an Eldritch Blast of this grim variety? I would say that the magic itself is very, like, smoky and, like, you know, almost like a smoldering fire, kind of. Okay. So this crackling energy, even though it is described that way...

It would make some sort of like a crackling sound when it hits, but it would definitely smoke and smolder and be like... Smashes into the beast. Feathers go up, a few sparks spiral and you can hear that crackling sound. Is that your turn? Yeah. Queenie, you're up. Well, she... She's an archer, so she doesn't need to move. She'll walk the 30 feet that she needs to walk, get as close as she can. She does hit and she does six points of damage.

Gaiad's name, is he horny? Yeah, she says Gadzogs. That's hilarious. Why can't I do math right now? Because it's late. Yeah. And it's a Friday. Yeah. We'd all want to just be pizza. Okay, there it is. I can use the pizza right now. And that will be her turn. Barnabas, you're up. Okay. I would like to know jump rules, Reg.

And am I, even though it's 15 feet here, I want to know when I am at the level of where it's at. Because I know I'm running down. Yes. So I'm attempting to long jump on top of it. You're probably level to it right now.

Because, what is it? It's 15 feet in the air. Isn't that what it is? How many feet? If you've gotten a 10-foot running start, it's like five times your strength score. Am I able to move? If I jump, am I able to move more than my movement or no? I still just have 40 feet. So your wall is only your strength score. So it's only 20 feet.

And you have to move at least 10 feet before. Oh, I'm thinking of your carrying capacity is just like five times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But am I able to move my distance and then jump? Uh... Maybe. Each foot you clear on the jump costs a foot of movement speed. So I can still only go 40 no matter what. The reason I know the answer is no is because the spell jump wouldn't make any sense. Because the spell jump is supposed to be a magical way to exceed your movement speed with a jump. However...

If you say that you move 30 feet and are prepping a jump, I will let you start the next turn with a jump if you feel that that's justified on your next turn. Meaning you can give yourself momentum and you won't have to take the 10 feet on that turn. - You know what, I'm just gonna do the thing 'cause it's really fucking cool. And I'm just gonna be sprinting and you're gonna see as the black manta ray tail, it's kind of my skin is starting to turn leathery and you'll learn now why I don't wear a shirt.

as my back starts to bulge out and two massive leathery manta ray wings sprout out of my back. And I am going to...

beat them both down and just leap into the air. And I am going to use the jump feature from my bestial soul. And so I can roll an athletics check and add that to my jump total. - Oh yes. - Oh yes. - Disgusting and majestic. - So what's your total speed? My total is 40. - Okay. - So move the 40, right? - One, two, three, four,

That's 20. 20. Now you jump. Okay. So it's 1, 2, 3, 4. You're above your near. Yeah. And then now we're making an athletics check. Okay. Do I do that advantage because I'm raging? Right? If it's just an athletics check. Yeah. Are you sprinting too? No, no, no. He wants to keep his action. I'm just going to jump because I want to basically fucking hook my anchor into its fucking back. Well, even if you roll a 20, it's only four more squares. Like, this is the furthest you can get. No, no. That's 20 plus 20.

I can, 'cause my strength is 20. So I immediately can just jump 20 and then add on whatever my result. - I know, so this is your full 40 movement. - Yeah. - Right? - Yeah. - Which would be normal jump. - So you can't go any additional movement from your jump. - Yeah, he was right in front of me because I'm on his back. Feeding him Slim Jims. - So this is your full movement of 40 feet.

And then you can add tw- let's say you hit- I guess you could- you have plus eight, right? Plus- You could add- You get like 28. I'm gonna twist. Okay. That's not great. Uh, but I am going to- If you sprint, you could just get there. Oh, I can? Yeah. Oh, so you have to sprint. But I can't attack him. But then you can't attack him. He's just 15 feet in the air anyway. So, just get on! He screams on you, right? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just gonna-

I still have the weight. He's not on the ground. He's 15 feet in the air. So you still need to jump. Okay, so I'm going to leap and we're going to basically fly over Yornir and his Koi Karabou. We're falling with style. Yeah. And so my total jump. I just watched Kung Fu Panda and I'm getting a lot of Kung Fu Panda vibes right now. Is my total jump, I rolled a 10. So 18 plus 20. So 38 feet.

Right? Yeah. Sorry about that, guys. So that gives you about... It would be all on top of this, right? So it'd be five, six, seven, eight. He's also dashing now, so one, two, three, four, five. It'd be 38. Yeah, you can get there. You're there. So the Manta Ray wings are flying out, and I have my anchor ready to try to just smash down its wing. Okay. You do that. That means it's Taishan.

Let's just, let me just get over here. There you go. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25. I'm just going on for dear life. We'll see. Well, I told you to hold on. Yeah.

- And all, all, let's see. - Look at these guys back here. - Yeah. - They're just chillin', you know? - The map I drew weirdly worked for this encounter as well as the next one. - Oh hey, Queenie. - Well, hi. - Hey, Natasha. - I've got some sort of funny proverb to say or something, I don't know. Maybe I'll insult you, maybe I'll be kind to you, you don't know. - Well, Gadzooks. - Knee high on a grasshopper.

All right, I'm gonna fire out a Scorching Ray. Oh, yeah. I love Scorching Ray. Yeah, I'm into it. I run up, charge up, like, three motes of flame in front of me. And then just, like, boom, boom, boom, like, punch them really quick, and they fly out. That's awesome. And... Okay, I have to roll on each one. AC is 13.

When you play your Grimmar, you're like, "This is fine, but I don't have fire." Yeah, yeah, basically. Every other character I've played, including G-G-Fire Plume, was fire based. I don't know. Am I telling myself something? Probably. Probably. Oh. What happened there, buddy?

Can I twist each once using two twists? Yeah. Is that fine? Yeah, so I'll twist one on each. Thank you, Chad. Yeah, thank you, Chad. I'll spend two. Two doubloons for your troubles. That's the exact same roll. Okay. Yikes. Wow. Okay. So like you just need a five, right? Yeah, you got a five so that hits. I don't think I have a plus eight. I have a plus seven.

Do you not have five charisma? Oh, cause we rolled, oh yeah, maybe. I took the metallic dragon thing. Okay, nevermind. Jesus. Alright. Yeah. You tried. It's okay. It flies past and into the forest. Well, far away. Cold enough not to start a forest fire, certainly, but fate said nay. The horizon's in my eyes. No bonus action? Uh...

No, I don't really have anything. All right. Not you're far away, but you're near. I will. You're far versus you're near. That's terrible. It's like that meme, it's you're near when you're far walks into the room. Hello. I'm going to ride up here and if I can, can I grab her?

Would that cost an action to do? And I put her on onto the caribou?

It's like a grapple, right? Like you're trying to drag a dead body away or an ally, then you'd have to use an action to pick it up and like half your movement. I will run up alongside her and then sort of lean down, use my action to get her up on the caribou. She is conscious. Oh my god. Are we supposed to do this? She's just hurting.

Then I am going to put her, like, you know, get her steady on the scaraboo with me. And I am going to use my bonus action to cast Healing Word.

Oh. Nice. Uh, spells? I just imagine you, like, ride this character. You're a snarferglarg, right? And then you, like, scooper up and you just, like, keep riding this character around this creature, being like, come on, we have to go. Uh, okay. So, I will... So, what is that? That's the first level, right? You're like...

And that is healing word. And so I will heal her for... Mechanically, just so everyone knows, she has 27 hit points. And she took 6d6 damage falling 60 feet. And I rolled bad. She has two hit points left. Get on the clapper! Get on the clapper! That's incredible. She's going to heal for eight. Outstanding. And I will say... Her name's Daisy, right? That's correct.

It's very your near for you to be like honey Daisy Stab yourself we can do this and I'm going to use speak her name and then use one of my tusks will sort of She'll get some temp HP She coughs and she's not using her hands to communicate so all she's doing is looking up but like Clearly with a grateful expression. So yeah, so now she has so I healed her eight and

Or no, eight, and then she has five Tempest. So she's bolstered now, I move my max movement, that's my turn. Awesome. That's the conclusion of Sbarnavrnor, your turn. It's flying, flapping 15 feet in the air, and it lands and seems to look at each of you, trying to determine exactly what to do next, and it

pulls in and it shakes like this and this cloud of ice sprays out in all directions. - Oh shit. - Are we over it? - We're flying towards it. - Each creature, it's now on the ground. Each creature within 20 feet of it must make a DC 15 constitution saving throw. - Is the cone going above it or just spraying out? - I think I got it. - It is a cloud of ice and cold. - It's an orb. - So she needs to make a saving throw as well. - I got a natural one.

I feel like I should twist this. Oh, yeah. She got a natural 19. Thank you. What did you say? I don't know if he said it. Could you pull out a twist for me? I also got a natural one. 15. He said the DC was 15, I believe. Natural 20. Let's go. Congrats. I got a 19 on my reroll.

Okay. Sweet. If you succeeded, you take half of 21 points of cold damage as this ice rime coats everything in all directions, shaking from its crazy Dracarion feathers. Did Daisy pass? She got a natural 19. Wow.

Which means she takes half, which means she takes ten, which means her five hit points are gone, and from her ten hit points, she's down to five HP after this. Still fucking alive. And everyone else succeeded. Oh, I need to do... Nope. You guys are too far away. So that's the three of you. This is now difficult terrain.

We're still flying through the air. That's true, but know that. And everyone succeeded. Yep. Well done, everyone. All right, so it's now on the ground and looking mean and crazy. Scream, you're up. I'm holding on to Barnabas for dear life. As we are soaring through the air, like hoping to land on this thing. So I'm going to hold and attack with the Brutal Blade until we land on this creature's back or I'm close enough to try to stab it.

That's why I'm holding my action. Okay, so as soon as you're within five feet, you're gonna try to dig in with your knife. I'm just gonna throw all that it's worth. Queenie's gonna let loose another arrow. That's a natural three, she's gonna miss. And she's gonna move up about 30 feet. And Barnabas, you're up.

- You are hurling through the air in slow motion. - I'm hurling through the air and I will be just like laughing maniacally as the cold like bursts and I'll say, "I'm taking worse from weaker serpents than you!" And I'm going to attempt to smash into it with my anchor on top of it and land on top of it. I'm going to recklessly attack it twice.

A one and a two, you know what? No way. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's some Yorgrim luck. A two and a three. Can we twist a couple of those? That's some Thai Shadlock! Yeah, let's pull out two. Let's twist each one. I mean, we got 'em. I'll twist each one. We got a shitload of twists. A natural one. What?! Just feet. And a natural four. Oh my god. What's your plus your plus? Oh my god.

That's close. Uh, and rushing down as you're doing the cheese wheel thing. You underestimate how it feels to land and try to go into this beast and you lose your footing a little bit. Not even Jack can save us now. Do I get to see my action? Alright, you are within five feet. I'm speeding on up again. AC 13. I'll wait for you.

I don't want to like cut off his... His reaction triggers, so... I'll miss, I'll like, I'll stumble forward and you're like right in front of its face now. And I got a 24 to hit. That hits. So then I will roll some d4s here. Nice. That's gonna be six.

seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve points of damage from the Brutal Blade. Because I didn't really have time to set up any of my hex shit, so I'm just using Brutal Blade. That's still pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty fucking huge. Oh, and I'm going to use Fury of the Small. So that will be, what did I say? It was seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, eighteen points of damage. With all

- With all the fury of the small goblin that I am, I stab into this creature with a little blade. - It lets out a screech and you dig into it and it's very beast-like. You push in and there's a smattering of blood. There's no magical whatever or anything. This is a creature. - It's my turn.

Is that date hanging on? Yeah, I'm gonna try to. After I stumble that, I have a nice shop screamer! Okay, um, I fire out a firebolt at it again. I move up 30 feet, fire my firebolt.

Yeah. Natural one. Yeah, we're not rolling hard. You guys are rolling like shit. Yeah, this isn't going well. But I will, I will spend two sorcery points to change a spell from an action to a bonus action. Nice. Oh, that's a good one. Is that like quicken? And, yeah, yeah. Let me see, this one, I think. We do a twist. We want to...

I burnt them all. Yeah, we're gonna twist, we're gonna twist. Everybody get a twist. I twisted the last one, I twisted three on the last one and missed them all. No, you twisted two on the last one. Alright, five. So I can't roll over a five. Jeez, you guys. So anyway, I'll spend the two sorcery points. Oh shit, I forgot I have two attacks. Yeah. You can't, as a reaction, you can only do one. Oh, that's right. So I haven't broken any rules yet, thank you. Alright. Um...

I'll cast Elemental Burst at a first level. Mhm.

There we go. Oh, thank god! That almost rolled to a one. I know. Um, I, yeah, so I hit this one, I hit this one. Uh, on a successful hit, target takes 1d8 piercing and 1d8, um, I'm gonna say fire damage, obviously. Um... Mason is fire. Listen, what would a flame dragon be shooting out? Acid damage? What would Foojie have given fire magic? Yeah, for God's sakes.

So if Gideon's fame subclass is going to be called Fire Puncher, given that Taishen casts spells by doing this, his subclass can also be Fire Puncher. It's actually Fire Weaver. Thank you very much. Ooh.

Yeah, thank you. How much damage? Five. Okay, it now is looking bloodied. Okay, we got this. Imagine if I had hit. When all of a sudden, it's flapping down. No, I'm not going to do that. Bring it! Bring it! It's fucking 1148. We're going to finish telling this story. You're in here. You're up.

Seeing that she just took a big hit, I would like to put my hand on her and I will cast Cure Wounds at a second level. Two, eight. Are you repositioning the caribou? Yeah. So we can do that? She's on the caribou, isn't she? No, no, no. Is he basically riding the caribou around out of...

17 points of hit. Nice. Nice. Holy shit. That was a really high roll. The DM can kill this NPC. Uh...

- That's almost full, amazing. - And I will lean down and say, I will protect you using my other tusk. It will glow, give her another five temp HP. I think I can use the same target as long as it's just twice a day, they're both used. And then what I would like to do is ride my caribou

If I can sort of like come around, sort of do a loop around and charge, do like a charge attack with the caribou. Oh, the caribou is capable of trampling a giant, huge bird like this. No, it goes in and it's going to try to like batter it. It's going to ram that fucker, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, so it needs to move at least 20 feet, towards the creature. So I was like here. You don't need to map it. I think that you can figure out how to do that and just get up in there. So I'm gonna get up in there and basically charge from the back here. And so I'm gonna charge in this way and then I need to make a... So actually, I need to roll to hit first. Only plus six to hit, but it's still slowed.

Can I twist it? Yes. Yeah. You gotta kill those things fast. There we go. That hits. Nice. So it needs to make a DC 14 strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Oh. Does that do anything for spell hits? DC 14? Yeah. 17. Okay, so it keeps its footing. It's flying. Really? It's awful.

And I will do 2d6+4 damage. Ooh, not great. Two, three, seven points of bludgeoning.

Seven points of bludgeoning damage. Okay. It's its turn, and it is feeling surrounded. It is horrified at the position it's put itself in. Not very smart, is this creature, it seems. But it does know how to use its natural abilities, and looking around, it uses its action to grab the nearest thing and attempt to flee. Scrim! LAUGHTER

I'm gonna be snake chow! I never use grapple, but it is going to attempt to grapple you. I'm losing to a bird! I'm still asking those damn questions. What kind of contest is this? I attempt to seize you using an attack roll, so I'm gonna do a strength check against your strength or dexterity check. It's athletics versus athletics or acrobatics, if you're proficient in it.

So if it's proficient in anything too, you can... I am not. My acrobatics is better than my athletics, but I'm not proficient in either. Then it's just, yeah, then it's dexter strength. Okay. Whatever you choose. You got a 19. So I'm just, I'm rolling, just rolling acrobatics? You're dexter strength, dexter strength. No. Okay. So acrobatics, which is a strength dexter strength, yep. And you got a 19. Yeah. Incredible. Please get grappled.

I lose. Yeah. What the fuck? A massive, gigantic talon grabs you around the body, the torso, and while it does this with its legs, its arms flap up and using-- But if this wasn't part of the plan! Using fly-by, it flies straight up 45 feet. Holy, is that half its movement? That is half its movement and flying.

It's got Pegasus speed, 90 feet of... 90 feet. If a war horse, right, is 60, yeah, Pegasus should give me 90. Oh, there we go. There he goes. We knew him well. We saved the important person. But great news, it's your turn. I'm...

If I can, I'm gonna try to hack at it. Well, you're grappled, so I think you're disadvantaged. No. Oh, really? Grapple is zero movement. Yeah. He's not restrained. Unless he has a special restraining fire. Yeah, you can attack your grapple. In 5.5. 5.5, it'll be different. 5.5, 5.1. As I'm screaming, I'm just using the brutal blade to hack at its talent. Do your thing. I'm gonna attack twice. Great.

AC 13. In my horrific, startled state, I miss both attacks. By one. How does that look? How does that look, Scrim? I can't quite get leverage. Yeah, yeah.

You can't quite get the arms around. Yeah, it's not working. You're a little fucking snack. I love that. I love being a nerd. And we appreciate the follow if you like D&D. We play a lot of that here. It's basically all we play. Come on. Yeah, we play. Join our Discord if you like D&D. Yeah, welcome everybody. Welcome. I missed. That's my turn. Queenie is going to take another shot, and you realize that there's an arrow flying in your direction. It hits.

And she does... Man, her d8 is just really doing very poorly. Can I move her up 30? You may. Or base, do you want to do it? Yep. You've done so well at it. Nice against-wall, and I should really appreciate it. Nice. Yeah, she's rolled a 1 on her 1d8 three times in a row. That's her turn. Movement and attack, Barnabus. 45 feet in the air? Yeah.

Manta Ray wings! Manta Ray wings. So if I can high jump... 5 plus my strength modifier, which is 8, so 8, then if I get a 20, if I roll like a 20, that'd be plus 26. That should be 28. 28.

- We've already established also that you have rope attached to a... - I'm just throwing up. - But if you spike it, you will have rope attached to it. You can either climb and go with it or you can try to pull it back. - I will pull out my harpoon and I'll say, "Oh yeah, Scrim, try to dodge!" And I'm gonna yeet my harpoon. - You will hit Scrim on a one. - Okay. - Oh my God. - Only recklessly attacking. - Okay, the odds are extremely low.

He said confidently. Can I twist one? Yes. You're going to get hit between the legs by the harpoon. Wait, you gotta have this guy really good. Oh, it's advanced! It hits, it hits, it hits. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So no twist. I'm going to throw it and it is going to pierce Anne and I need to roll my damage here. It is going to do...

Oh. 12 points of piercing damage. Good damage. And the harpoon will lodge itself and I have a rope. So what can I do to try to just yank it down? Um...

I would say strength or what's the, yeah, athletics. Come here, big Steve! Athletics contest. Okay, yeah, yeah. I love this. Let's go. The best part is you didn't harpoon your friend.

Okay. Athletics contest? Big numbers. It's gonna be huge. 24. 17, you're ready to go. You give it a go. And I will, just like your manta ray ability, I would say you can roll to see how many feet you drag it down. Okay. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Athletics check. Playing a little loosey-goosey, but that's fun. I'm real cool with it. You're damaged. Oh, that's right. You're raging. Oh, yeah.

So 15 plus 8 is 23 feet. 23 feet. You pull it down 23 feet, and the pain of the harpoon and being pulled down in this manner, it releases scrim. That's only 23 feet. You take 8 points of bludgeoning damage when you hit the ground screen.

And maintaining game state if you'll move the scrim token down to the ground floor. That's going to be Barnabo's Taishan. It's still Gaia, boy! Oh no! You know what, I've got it. You're trapped in here with me! Taishan, you're up. I catch up to Quinny once again. Two people got my screen now, yay! Finally! I'll firebolt it. Hopefully this just...

rolls over five. What is it? 12. All right, nice. It hits, it hits. So it'll take 2d10 damage. 2d10? 2d. I was thinking, am I wrong? Let's see if you can get more than three damage on this, Ty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I just actually checked something. If I hit it with fire, I automatically do an additional plus four. I was going to say. I thought you would have had a... Ooh, big money. Um,

13 points of damage. - Nice, 13 does a lot of good work. Very good work. - Elemental Master. - Yeah, elemental affinity. - Affinity, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I had no idea. - It's looking hurt. It's starting to, feathers are flying off in all directions. They're swimming down. Scrim is prone on the ground adjacent to the party that is gathering and it's now 23 feet above the air. You're in here. - We're gonna bring this down.

So it's 23 feet in the air. In the air, thank you. I can't fly yet, I don't think. No. I fly now? He flies! He flies now! Oh, he flies now! They fly now. Winnie and I make that joke all the fucking time about all sorts of stupid shit. Somehow, this feathered serpent has returned. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

What I will say, it's more stupid that he returned, but it's not stupid for Poe to say that. He wouldn't have any fucking idea about Palpatine or Sith or magic or anything. He would say... No, that was Oscar Isaac sighing at the stupidity of the line. Poe's character also would say it exactly like that, even if there was a really, really good justification for why Emperor Palpatine came back. But how would he not know that it is canonical that Palpatine came back in Fortnite? Yeah.

That's not true. Yeah, how are they going to know? His coming back happened in Fortnite. I know that. Anyway, you want to know what's important? All right. Side cul-de-sac. I leap off the caribou, and I say, keep her safe. And the caribou will gallop away with her. You sure? Further back. You got it, Mr. J. I want to see you. You got it.

You got it, Mr. J, I'm gonna steal! I will walk under the beast, 23 feet in the air. Let's go. And I will look at Barnabas and I will look at Scrim. And... I will say, "Cover your ears." Oh no. I'm gonna raise my staff up in the sky. I'm holding onto the rope! And I'm going to cast Rolling Thunder. Oh shit. Uh...

So as I say, "Olden, bring this beast down," and you're gonna hear a huge clap of thunder blast from me, 30 feet radius sphere. So we do get hit. Yes. Everyone needs to make a con saving throw. Jesus. We're chill, we're chill. I'm a Viking at that. 16. 16, you're good. It's gonna be on the cusp there. I crush it. Yeah, 17 for me. Actually, don't crush it, but I succeed. I do, in fact, beat it. Ooh!

20. It passes. So no one's knock-prone, but everyone will take half of this. And regardless, everyone's deafened. Go for it. Go for yours. Until the start of...

Copy your ears. It's next turn. Boys will not help. Taking American Airlines with Ed Gold. Only 15 points of damage, so half of that is... Shit. Half of that is what? Seven. So you're used to accepting damage.

I'm trying to knock it from-- Oh my gosh. I would've been really cool, okay? It would've been cool if it failed. It's a high con boy, I rolled a 13. I feel like as a Triton I should be now. Austin Mills says y'all got some amazing energy. Oh, thank you, thank you! Stick around! There's a lot of that. There is a lot of energy. And ranch dressing.

It's going to, it has Recharge Disability, and meant to project this last round. I roll a five or six, just like a dragon's breath, and so it's going to shake, and this cloud of cold is going to explode outward. I need everyone to make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw if you're within 20 feet of it. Crush it. I pass. I got a 20. Scroom's hanging in there. Wait, if we're within 20 feet? Yeah.

It's 23 feet in the air. I don't use this movement to come down. Okay. 25 points of cold damage if you fail. Oh my god. Did anyone fail? No. DC is what, sorry? DC is 15. 12, so we take six. So everyone, yeah, and you are... We take six. Okay. What was the total damage? 25. Jesus. And half that if you... Yeah.

So 12 if you succeeded. And that'll be its action and movement. It is now 10 feet above the ground, flopping. Oh, have you been, it's slow with concentration, right? Yeah. Okay, great, great, great, great. It's now in a fight for its life, but that's the conclusion of its turn. Scream, you're up. I will have just gotten absolutely rocked by thunder and ice crystals. I can't hear shit. I can't hear anything.

I will use half my movement to stand up, shakily. Raise my hand up to it, and I'm just gonna yell, Die, you bastard! And I'm gonna shoot two Eldritch Blasts at it. Let's go. I believe both will hit. That's gonna be a 17 and a 21. 13. Let's go. So that's gonna be two D10s.

Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage is nine points of damage. Easy money. It's still looking weak, but it's not quite at the end. That's Queenie's turn. She's going to continue to stay where she is. Now that she's in no longer disadvantaged town, she's going to get a natural 20.

She rolled higher than a one on her d8. A two and an eight. 15 points of damage. Not bad. How do I want to do this? No, I'm not going to do that. She doesn't kill it, but she's been getting closer. She's just been...

Walking. Walking. Machine-like precision. She's hitting, but she's been missing all the weak spots. This time she hits it right through the side of the neck. It's pointing out. It's like Game of Thrones. No, not even walking, she's just riding on her bees. The bees are scaring her. The bees have turned into a nimbus cloud. What's the name of the Terminator from T2? T-1000. The T-1000 is just...

- Exactly. - Exactly. Yeah, no, she's T-1000 right now. Barnabas, you're up.

I am going to look up and I'm gonna say, "Okay, now you're coming to me, beastie!" And my manta ray wings will just leap. And I'm just gonna jump up to it with letting go of the rope as I pull my anchor off. And this is my athletics, try to see how high I jump. Very fucking high. - Oh yeah, pretty fucking high. - 23 feet. So I'm gonna take my anchor-- - You can actually jump up above it first. - Yeah, up above her and now I'm going to have it in piercing mode.

and not bludgeoning mode is I'm going to bring it down recklessly. - Okay, okay. - Love it. - Natural 20. - Oh my god! - He gone, he done. - Natural 20.

Who needs this? I do not have Brutal Critical yet, unfortunately. What is Brutal Critical then? Roll an extra die on top of that. That's crazy. That'll be 4d12. Wow. How are you going to hit it twice? You're just going to hit it so hard once. It's basically just like, I am like, this is the kill shot. I have killed so many sea serpents. It's like, oh, he's got some feathers, but it's the same. Same principle, they say.

And I'm going to roll this. Amazing.

- Well, two ones, not great. - Oh no. - But then a 10 and a 12, so 22, 23, 24, 34, 38 points of piercing damage. - How do you want to do this? - I will leap, yeah, violently, I will leap into the air and I will soar up with my manta ray wings and I will look at it and it will feel like I'm, and especially with the thunder cracking overhead,

It's like, it's like a diving into a sea serpent with a storm raging around me. And, uh, there'll be a bloodlust in my, it's a very bestial, uh, bloodlust as I will just take my anchor and where Queenie had pierced it. I will aim in that to basically, uh,

slam my anchor in and basically yank it down to rip its head off, potentially, if I can. - You get the anchor just behind the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the

and falls to the ground, slumping down, blood pooling in the ice and snow of this, uh, of this... And I wonder if, like, mounted the back of it, and, like, basically hook it under the skull to yank its skull off, rip its head off, and then, like, kind of basically ride it as it falls down, covered in fucking serpent blood. Feathers... Feathers plume out in all directions, and you realize that the beast has been felled. I just like the old days, lads!

Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.

Nice of you to join the fight here, Taishan. Oh my gosh, are you okay? Yeah, nope, I'm alright. Just covered in serpent blood and Barnabo's spit. But other than that, we're good. I was shocked you survived that fall. It looked so high. Don't worry about me. Just let's worry about Daisy. Ice cream is a hearty lie. Nice firing there, Mr. Yorner. I didn't even know you had a mounted companion. Nice shots there, Miss March.

She says thank you, and in that moment you hear the clopping of the caribou's feet, and it's being guided by Daisy. Thank you. That really sucked. That was close. The old gods, they saw you through. You saw me through. I wouldn't be alive if it hadn't been for your healing magics. And you're icy slow.

It's the only reason we even got here. And your magic caribou, let's not forget that. The power of the Arctic is strong, as we can see. I'll sort of look around at the tundra. Seriously, you have to teach me how to do these things. We can do this. Between myself and Queenie, we can show you how to harness the primal energies. I'm ready. Can we eat that thing?

I am going to cook up quite a celebratory feast!

I'll sort of like kneel down and just get a sense. If I feel like it's just a beast or like a monster, yeah, I think we... If you want to figure out how heavy it is and how much could be harvestable for rations, then you can make that check. But you could also look to see if you can find anything special about it. Yeah, I'd like to do either or both, whatever. Let's pack both of them into an Arcana check. Ooh, Arcana.

While he's doing this, I would also like to, regardless of what the outcome is, when we are harvesting it, try to get some small bones, maybe from its wings. Natural 20. It would be extremely easy to find its bones. Now, its bones, you find, are hollow.

Very lightweight, but you're able to find just a few that are just a handful of whatever. That I can stick in my bag. You do that. Thank you. 21. With a 21, you are able to find that its feathers are especially unusual. There aren't very many left after its experience in combat, but just like that cloud of frost that it was able to produce, you could...

Collect some of them, and if you brushed this with one of these feathers, it would consume the feather, but that would become difficult to rain. Basically an icing feather. And with a 21, I would say that you were able to get both of its eyes. These special eyes, if you wanted to harvest them, they do seem to have...

a quality of Charismatic magic in them. And if you wanted to crush one, it would give you a +5 bonus to any Charisma check made within 6 seconds. Oh, here you go, Mr. Yorneir. What could I... What would I call this beast? Do I know what this is? A Yirr Falcon. A Yirr Falcon. J-Y-R? G-Y-R Falcon. G-Y-R? Yep.

- And you probably haven't heard of anything like this in my mood, but it just seems natural to call it this. - I feel like the feathers could be used for Queenie to make like barding for arrows, to turn them into like frost arrows. - You can roll a d20 to see how many you collect. And if you want to roll play that with her in future campfire settings, then do that. - Nine. - You collect nine feathers?

And you collect 1d2 eyes. Queenie, I thought you liked these eyes. And with the Arcana that you're able to make, and with Barnabas's help, you can collect 300 pounds of meat from its body, which is basically like two huge chicken breasts. It is actually a hardy beast, and there's more than enough meat to go around.

I would help harvest in any way that I can. Yeah. I would say, shall we all...

Harvest the beast. Queenie jumps right in to assist and you're very quickly, you're lifting wings, you're cutting, you're pulling skin back. I'll have my paring knife. I'll just create a bonfire right near us. Yeah. Cantrip style? Yeah, cantrip style. I'll just ignite a bonfire right in our area, assuming that we'll stay, even if it's like 15 minutes, just around like fucking freezing. It's still morning, Taishan.

When I was up there, before I fell, I was still alive in my mind. I can't imagine what would have happened if I'd been taken to the nest. It would have been horrifying, but there was a, not like a waterfall, but like a vapor. I think there might be warmth. Like a hot spring. Like steam. Not far from here. You think you saw steam? Exactly.

"Oh, you think we can fit this beastie on the sledge with your caribou?"

We don't have the sledge. Oh, we don't? Did it get destroyed? They left it at the house. Oh yeah, that's right. We were in a little bit of a hurry back there at the house. We went over a waterfall. Oh boy, that's right. Yeah, it was almost certainly burnt. It was left at the welcome mat. Right, yeah, around the front doors. I hit my... He is dead, grab the sledge. I hit my head, my tongue, and I took a tumble there.

Oh, it's been so long since I killed a beastie like that. I mean, if we can cook, at least for now, we can try to prepare as much as we possibly can, pack that up, and just carry what we can. It's the only thing I can think of. I think that before we finish harvesting it, maybe we keep the carcass intact.

tie it to my caribou and it drags the cords to the spring and we deal with it there. That would work too. Now I can clean it, especially if there's a hot spring and it gets...

I can't wait that long for food, though. There's a bonfire, and perhaps you sizzle up a few morsels. Yeah, let's have a quick breakfast here. You have a brunch, and there's water. There isn't anything to down it with, aside from, you know, melted snow, but the meat is delicious. It is...

It's somewhere in between chicken and duck. And with a little salt and a little of Barnabas's estuary, you're able to have a very satisfying meal. It's actually very difficult. You almost have to make a wisdom saving throw to stop cooking the meat and make your way to the hot spring. But you find a way. And just as Daisy said, you...

three, four hours walk, you hear the sound of rushing water and the change in temperature is real. The change in vegetation is real. No longer are you surrounded by trees of just pure winter, but lichen and moss and ferns seem to adorn the rocks. All jacarian ferns.

All of them. You're able to approach what is very clearly a natural hot spring. This water in such cool climate such as this is billowing.

hot air. You can see that this is not, uh, uh, that this is a very cold place, but a beautifully warm water just underneath some, some like volcanic movement or something is keeping it extremely warm. And, uh, you can, it almost feels humid for the first time in months. You, it's not just the sauna, it's a place of warmth. And that's where you find yourself in, I'd say two, three in the afternoon. This is...

Very good eye. I'll turn to her and sort of nod. Well done, young lady. Especially being captured by a massive bird of prey. We're good to just like go in there and take a dip, right?

This isn't a ghost stream, is it? And she starts to undress and immediately dives into the hot spring. I'm ripping off all my clothes down on my skivvies and I'm like, I'm going right, well, I'm not going to dive in because I'll boil alive. I'm going to like ease my way in and like dip a foot in and a toe and make sure it's not like crazy hot. It's...

Just a hair over 100 degrees. I get right, I slip all the way. You're careful not to hit any stones or anything that were like, where you'd actually have danger, right? You're still watching out for fire. By the time you get five feet in, you do not feel like that is an issue. It just feels warm under your feet, like heated flooring. Yeah, my poor battered body is healing in the...

instantly. Oh, this is like a combination of a sea serpent and a griffin. Interesting to process. I suppose we'll clean up after you finish processing the beastie? Yes, we could perhaps take care of this and then we can enjoy nicely. I'll be covered in guts once I clean up, if I clean up now.

All right. Okay, cover your nose! Oh, those are good eats. Ooh, a gizzard. If you have the stomach and you go through it, you find parts of what are clearly very digested kobold. Oh. Well, I don't remember any of their names, but... Ygrin. Ygrin! Sorry, I don't...

Oh, dig a hole for your bones. But for now... Ooh, look at this liver! Oh, yes, yes. This river, yeah, it looks like it's, uh, it could be a raspberry for how red and rich it looks. Oh, yes, it's beautiful. Especially when you've ripped the head of the thing off yourself.

Barnabas clearly being in his element, the five of you, the six of you, including Daisy, start to enjoy the evening. Starting to feel like you've taken the first step on your journey, but remembering that Strykongar can be a brutal and dangerous place. It's, for just this evening, a contrast, a bittersweet feeling to know that danger lies around every corner, but that...

If you stick together and show teamwork, you'll be able to survive. And you start to ease into the evening. But before the sun sets, there's a rustling sound, a sound just in the tree lines. Because you have to get through sort of a dense thicket, I would say, in order to find this hot spring. You're surrounded by trees in all directions. You hear a...

And before any of you can react, maybe some of you are in the pool, some of you are eating, some of you are sitting enjoying your leisure time. Out from the trees bursts a giant ogre. It lands down in front of you. It is bizarrely wearing a, for lack of a better word, a pastel pink robe.

and it is a bald and hideous, hugely muscular hand, and it is slobbering and screaming in all directions as it jives into the space, very clearly looking to fight, trying to intimidate. What do you all do?

I mean, I don't know, I shit in the hot tub? I poop my pants? No, I don't know, I mean, I would try to climb up and out and get to my clothing and get prepared to defend myself. You start to make your way up and it immediately swings down with its arm and crashes through some of the campsite that you've made.

- I'll cast slow. Wait, can I cast slow on it? - Get out of my hot spring! - My last spell slot, I'll reach up and try to coat him in ice and have him slow down a little bit. - What are the components of slow? - Molasses. It's my molasses draw. - Verbal or somatic? - Oh, verbal, somatic, and material. - Okay. As soon as you do this, it makes its, what is it, wisdom saving throw? - Wisdom saving throw, yeah.

- So he's 16. - Rolls a natural 18, but it stops as soon as you make this attempt to slow it via your magics. It stops and looks at you with this confused look. Good Lord! It can speak! Father! Father! And you hear a second sound crashing through the trees and another much older looking ogre bursts through the tree line.

"What's that, Julian? I'm sorry! Father!" I'm naked, dripping from the hot tub, like, reaching for my clothes in stunned silence as I look up at these creatures. "It spoke! With the creature of the humanoid spoke!" Oh my god, are they speaking?

I will have been, I don't know if Tyshon is with me at the fire. I would have built a smoking, a smoking hut or whatever out of like the fern leaves and we would have built it. It would be like a cartoonish giant, like turkey on a spit. - On a Flintstone style. - Yeah, on a spit on a Flintstone style. And I would be like holding the spit, like from turning it like. - Yeah. - Your falcon?

They're clearly looking at each other befuddled, and the father, yes, yes, yes, yes, of course, of course, of course, reaches down, and you all hear splashing sounds. That's what I figured, yeah. And the father, he speaks something in giant. You understand what he's saying.

Ancestors, give me strength. And this unbelievable humming sound, this purple swirling energy emanates from this wand with this orb at the top. And you all feel yourself immediately grow sleepy and blackout. Don't take my skull. And that is where we'll call it the night session.

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