Heart's Desire | One-Shot | A Bilgewater Tale: Part 2
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. We need compass at Ruby Eye. Ruby Eye woman headmasked. That was what I remembered. Comprehensive notes. Just as a point of note, you're inspired for 10 minutes. Okay, perfect. Just...

- I will jump down. I'm gonna run down to the, like down the-- - He's very confident. - Down to whatever that thing is and jump off of it and try to like land on the rubies, whatever. - So you see that it's just a masthead, it's just the woman rising up and so the rest of the wreck is beneath the surface. - Is that a hand motion again? - Can someone clip that? - We'll all at least jump and try to grab onto the, wait, so it's a separate mast, right?

- It is a masked head, yeah. - What's the girth of the mast? - The girth is-- - Is that your strength? - Yep. - Is it an average girthy mast? Or above girthy? - It's pretty girthy, but you give this edge, you can try to grapple it. - How chody is this mast? - Are you gonna jump onto two of them? - Extremely.

- He's just ignoring all of you and just asking Bronn what he's doing. - I would like to jump. - It's my easiest doing. - You do that, so how does, so you can clear a gap of 30 feet? - Yeah, I mean, it's based on strength, and so I think that it's what, like, if you long jump-- - Is it on your inch grip? - Sometimes it is. - I don't think the jumping rules are. - I'll say make an athletics check and we'll see how you do. - Yeah, that works too. - I do have inspiration.

13. Thank you. Plus, it is pretty good. Clips dabbed the thing. I slipped the name of that. Oh, transparent. Long, transparent clips dabbed the thing. Well, it's not working. Plus eight is 21. 21. You see Brawl get a running jump, and he leaps forward, and you actually see with how your ship is tilting up.

you can actually get a bit of distance and you manage to grab and you cling as your shield slams against this wood of this masthead. You see the ruby eyes of this woman emerging from the shell as staring almost directly at you as you see the wreck that's sunk very deep below in the choppy water. What do you see? Friends, I think we need to go down.

What are we looking for again? A compass. The compass. Do we know what it is? The ship is underwater. You're very cute. You know that, right? I start taking my cape off and trying to get as light as possible to prepare to dive into the water. Who else? Should we all go in? This cape is going to weigh me down and I'm going to probably drown if I go swimming in it. Birds don't do so well in the water. Yeah.

I don't know how to swim. All right, I'll go with you. The three of us then. Okay. All right, hold this and I will chuck my shield 30 feet if I can. Just fling it back on the ship. I'll say you're able to do that. You just chuck it, you yeet it, and you all just dodge out of the way and it clatters to the ship. And so I need a...

Athletics checks from both of the divers. It's the three of us, right? We're going in? Three divers. Three divers, yeah. Athletics? Oh, thank God. Three divers. It's a 16 for me. 16, that passes. 15, that passes. You both get running, jump side by side, and you all manage to land and grab. Oh, I thought I was diving in the water. Yes. Never mind. Are you not as well? I'm sliding onto the shield. Okay.

So you are all, you all manage to land near Braum and you see as you're able to slide down into the water. Oh, it's kind of brisk. I'll join them.

- Okay. - I'm gonna start swimming down and looking for the compass. - I'll keep an eye out for, you know, bats. - Okay, so you all join together and so you dive down deeper and deeper. I need everyone to make perception checks, disadvantaged as the murkiness of the water.

- Can I make one for the pot? - That's gonna be a no for me. - I'd say you can't even see it as it's so far away. - Bro, what? - I got an eight. - Were you looking in the wreckage or were you trying to look out for baddies? - I was looking sort of like around the area just to see if I see-- - You guys can just make it and see if any danger's coming? - Yeah, just keep an eye on the area. - I'm assisting Teemo. - Well, I see nothing. - How reflective is the water? - You're on advantage.

- It's pretty reflective, the clouds are still there. - Okay, Erkon is looking at the water and checking his hair. - Yeah, you can definitely get a look, you can get a look at yourself.

- Can I sit down on the boat and do primal awareness, please? - Sure. - Is this considered my favorite terrain? 'Cause one of my favorite terrains is coastal. - I would say yeah, this one counts coastal. - Okay, then I need to know if there's any aberrations, celestials, dragons, elemental, fey, fiends, or undead within six miles of my current location. - Six miles? - Six miles? - Damn! - I don't get to know what or how many or where.

Celestials and Aberrations. And Fae. And Fae. And Fae. Picks. And perception? Oh shit. I got an 11. 11? Nine. Nine. As you go down deeper and deeper, and you actually manage to see the, you manage to see as you're all going, you're staying close enough to each other.

You see that there is far down below, further than it should be, almost swallowed by the darkness of the sea. You see the bottom half of this very same ship, and you see that it was once a cargo freighter, and you see that there's remnants of treasure chests. It had an insane haul as you dive deeper and deeper, but you can't find what you're looking for as you enter.

this strange, strange hall that has all of these bizarre looking crates and chests, some seeming ancient artifacts, things out of perhaps

Archaeology books that you may have studied Fiora. As you look around for anything and you're immediately, it takes you a long time, longer than it should. As you start to almost kind of feel something kind of slithering around your ankles.

and your limbs, and you start to see wispy black tendrils, not unlike that you had seen with the Nautilus. Start to slither around all of you, and you all to make strength saving crowns. Plus three.

Natural 20! 25. This is the first bad roll I've had all night. I got a 14 with all of my bonuses. A 14? I'm Draven. Yeah. I used that. Can I have the coin back when you have a chance? Oh, the coin. Oh, the coin, yes. I don't know if 14's going to be enough. 8 plus 0, 7? Wait, 8 plus... Save 8 for a muscle break. I got you. Come back!

- I rolled a 20 for like out of the water perception. Can I see, do I see anything? - I would say you look and you see that although there are razor fins and sharks in the water, they seem to be all going and just devouring the sailors that were on your crew. There seem to be a way from this wreck.

And you actually see-- no, they're long dead. No time for this. But you actually see that this darkness around this strange wreck, the animals seem to be staying away from it. Oh, interesting. As these eldritch tendrils-- so what do you get? A 19. A 19. You see as Draven starts to slither around your calf as both of you, for an instant, see Draven starts to get pulled. Fuck.

What are you guys doing? I'm immediately diving down and I'm gonna try and grab Draven and slash at the tentacles. Both of you make acrobatic checks to see if you can get to him. And none of us up on the thing see any of this? No, this is incredible. How long have they been down there? Probably only a few minutes. Or like one minute. Dirty 20. Okay. Horrible. Fiora, you manage to grab onto Draven and yank him free as your...

Ankle is now free. However, I need you to make a percentage check at advantage now. As you've been dragged along toward the crate. I got a 20. A 20. Draven, it's now where you see this. You hadn't really noticed before, but in the direction where you had been pulled, you look down and you'd see, just as the slithering dark tendrils pulled away, you see an...

what looks like a stone box, but with strange carvings that look absurdly ancient and pulse with a very faint turquoise glow. - I'll point to it and start to swim to it. Like make sure that I have their attention and point towards the box. - You're easily able to get the attention as you swim down and you find... You do literally that. As you swim. - Oh, we have two?

The Johnny Bravo? And you grab it, and you almost feel the power in your hand as you open it. Feel the power. And it is, make a stone, and it pulses with this energy, and you feel it in your hands. And you see that there's a little latch, and you're able to...

flick it open and it opens into a strange stone compass that seems to be still working. The needle of it glowing of that same turquoise color. - I like show them and I flex in affirmation that this is what we have and I begin to swim up off the surface. - I like to use flex like. - I just, I get beneath and I just shove his feet up so I get to propel him towards the surface and I'll swim after him. - So you all are able to do this with the

this compass in tow as you

make your way back to the ship. And it's just at this point where all of the razor fins and sharks are starting to lose interest in the sailors and they dart in your direction, but you're easily able to hop on, hop aboard. And so you are able to show everyone what you got. - Here it is. And I throw it onto the dock of the boat. - All right, mission accomplished. - Oh, it's a thingy.

- It's a compass. - 'Cause it's a bush swim thingy. Life is good, eh? - Does it work? - Something that was down there that almost took Draven with it to the depths. - It wasn't even close. - Bonjour, Dice Priority, thanks for the raid. - Welcome to Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition in the world of Runeterra, the world of League of Legends. So if you enjoy League of Legends and D&D, you came to the right spot. Thanks so much again, Dice Priority for the raid, we love you all. - We sure do. - How?

- Thanks, Keepa. - You all are staring at it and then suddenly you hear the jingling, slight clink of a coin as it taps against something and a loud creak as you all notice a shape behind you. Well done.

as you all turn and you see the River King standing, his large belly protruding from his waistcoat, as he has a single gold coin that he plays with through his fingers. Now, I can't say I wasn't expecting that, but you know Nautilus, he's always carving up the ships of the greedy.

the kind that come to sail through these waters. But y'all put him to sleep. That oughta give him a nice snooze for a year or two. He'll be back though. He looks dead. Is he not dead? Nah, what is dead may never die, friend. Fox, that's a thing called driven. Hi, Alexa!

And that's the thing, while they call him novels, funny things. I feel like a shy drape. I know, I can't, my mustache is going to explode off my face. Staying held together with Lash Blue and-- Dreams. Thank you for the follow, Xenon, Nasi, Jumanji. Thanks for the follow. But y'all have done a good thing putting an end to that menace, at least for a bit.

Whoever Nautilus was in ages long past, Water forgets the names of the drowns, so Nautilus will have to do. And he takes the coin and he pockets it. You can see there's a little bit of a bulge in one of his waistcoat pockets. Draven is a little confused as to how you got out here. Well, boy, I said the world's a river and there ain't no place I can't go. So why not just retrieve the compass for Captain Fortune yourself?

Because things aren't that simple. We're dealing with God. What does a king reveal otherwise to a god? All I know is I'd better get my money, fame, and fortune. Boy, you'll have more than that. The attention, the adoration of all your people. But now y'all have the bargaining chip. It's next trial.

Shouldn't be too difficult now that you have that little thing. He too frequents these waters, also praying on the greedy. But he tricks them, leads them to their doom. Stashed against these rocks and reefs, a feast for the harpies and the souls of dead sailors. A true banquet of misery. And then, he's the only one that can take you to the serpent's heart. And that is why I cannot go.

It is hidden by godly magic. Only a creature of the sea or storm can get through and guide you. For I am just a humble being of river. I'm afraid I cannot go. I cannot penetrate those magics. I admit weakness among friends. I hope you will not hold that against me. See, I'm an honest catfish, an honest gentleman.

And I'm bearing all to you as I bear my tea. I drew a picture of a fish in the algae, but I gave it big lips. Like a what? No, unnaturally big lips, like this. I see that. Okay. You're going to enjoy this next one. Battle takes its toll on the mind. What do you mean?

- I cannot wait for this to be done. - The enormity of that hat does not hide the vacancy beneath it, I can see. - No. - But. - I didn't say anything funny. - He just put his two brain cells together to figure out what happened. - What y'all need to do next is when this fine fishy fella shows up, be sure not to mention me.

for my name. - Is this like the gangplank thing? Gangplank list! - Do you want to die? - And all you need to do is say this points to his people in the guardian seat. And once he sees it, he'll know that that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. - So how about God? - Let's put on our thinking caps. - Hmm. Hmm.

Don't think too hard. You might hurt yourself. I've got it! Never look a tulip in the eye. I never met a tulip I trusted, so that is wise advice. So this next fellow will take us? He will guide you, but don't give him the compass until you've arrived at the island.

And how is he going to give us directions there if he's not using the compass? And how do we know who we're looking for? What does he look like? The compass? How many fingers does he have on his left hand? Can he dance, starting from the right? He does have a mighty fine dance, I admit. Does he prefer trousers or pants? Does he, though? He don't wear clothes. I've never trusted him. It's very undignified. I agree. The point is...

So he will not die like all of these fine gentlemen? Nah. He's a spirit of the sea, boy.

Will he actually be able to go home? Will he be able to walk up to the bar again? His people lie at the end of that needle, girl. If he follows the truth, he'll know where to go. Well, without any further ado,

I think he's probably arriving soon, and he reaches into his coat and pulls out this strange, large, bloated fish that seems to be pulsing with similar turquoise energy and magic. As he waves it to all of you and says, keep your eye on this. Don't take it off. And he chucks it into the water.

about 20 feet out, and with a loud splash, as it splashes in the water, it kind of swirls and spins around, and you hear splash behind you. You turn and you see that the River King is gone. No offense, Draven, but I don't trust you much to keep your mouth shut. What? Can I take the compass? I don't want the compass, have it. Compass, compass, compass!

And you're worried about me. He can know about the compass. We just don't give it. We also don't mention the River King. Who's the River King? We don't mention the other thing. No, but really. What other thing? How much you love purple. I do. I can't talk about purple.

- I'm not talking about purple, I'm just saying Nami's theme is the best thing ever. - The fish swims around and you see the fins of all of the other predators start to dart away and suddenly the water chops and you see a dark shaped lunge as a massive shark far larger than any of the ones that you've seen previously in the water snaps up and you see a small creature hanging on to its dorsal fin.

seems to be about the size of Teemo and Lulu, holding a Seastone Trident, three points, as it crashes down and

- You hear him call. - Whoa, good job, Chopper. - Oh my God, it's Varys. - Hi, does it always have to be your girls? - Hi. - You want me to kill them? - No. - Okay. - How do you find one of Chopper's fish? That's pretty great. - Hi. - Wow. - Hi, pleased to meet you, Lulu and Pix. - Every time you wanna talk, just make out with me.

- Wow! I wanna talk, I wanna talk! - I'm talking to you. - The shark swims up to your ship. - Is this nice shark? - Well, he's nice to me unless I don't like him. - Then he's very mean. Isn't that right, Chomper? - How are you able to tame him? Such a wild beast of the water. - I can tame all creatures of the sea if I want to. - Ah, you humans. - They're actually not so bad as long as you respect the sea.

But we like to have some fun, so I fed a lot of people to him, so don't make me mad. And don't be greedy. Are you water in your dome? How do you know that? I don't. You are small, but you are blue. I'm purple. And you have no clothes, so I don't... And you are big, and I am pretty. And he is dumb. And you have dirt...

- Urinals are magic and magic works in strange ways. - You're dirtles! - What are you all doing out here? - They're dirtles made of dirt, you've got dirtles. - We need, what, we need the passage. - Yes, little one. He has dirtles. - Yeah. - Are you guys okay? - I have never been more confused in my whole life. - I have a proposition for you, Smallwood.

Yeah. Not you. You have a new smaller one. My name is Fizz, thank you very much. And don't worry, it gets a lot more confusing, but you just gotta roll with it. Like the sea. Fantastic. Fizz. Fizz. Yeah? Fizz. What? I like the way that sounds on my tongue.

Fizz. Fizz. No, I don't got nothing. Fizz. So are you guys like greedy monster hunters or fishermen? Should I kill you guys right now? No, we found something interesting. What is it? It's a Krumpus. Where did you get that? What's your needs? Doesn't matter. Fizz. Can I have that, please? What does it do? Fizz. Someone told me that a small...

Yordle-like creature wearing no clothes riding a shark was desperate to find his people and this would get him there. Yeah, it was... Are you okay? You should just puke over the side. It'll make it better. Just purge. Two fingers. It's not supposed to be this close to the water. Just two fingers. You'll be fine. What? I'm telling you to purge. No, I know. Sometimes you only need one figure. Okay.

Don't be bashful, don't be shy. Hang over the rail and let her fly. Yes, exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's going to be hilarious. It's not going to work. Anyway, can I have it, please? We need to find something. And if you help us find it, since you're our master of the ocean, I'll trade you for that. What is it? What do you want? Fish? I can get a lot of that. We have a lot of fish. I need to get to the serpent's heart. Oh, okay.

That's pretty tough to get there. Only me and one other person get there that I know. That's why I'm asking you. She's big and really pretty. She's got a big old staff. Probably not as pretty. Is it bigger than my staff? Yeah, oh, it's a lot bigger. That's rude. All that matters is that you can get us there, correct? I can guide you, yeah. Upon arrival, we'll make the trade.

- Now you go home? - And add this and use it. - Can I look at it? I won't touch it. - You can look at it from where you're at. - No funny business now. - Persuasion check, please. - Oh, shit. - Yes.

Damn. Draven got a one. Draven. Probably more because my persuasion might be a little higher. 25, 24. Natural fucking six! You gotta give it up! Draven is a massive liar and got a nine. Nine plus six to persuasion. Wow, that's pretty good. Draven is persuasive. I got three. What'd you get? 20. Not quite persuasive. Seven.

- Do you need the numbers again? - 11. - Nope, I got it. - Okay. - He looks at all of you and says, "Well, I guess I can guide you there, but you have to listen to everything that I say. And if you follow behind me, you're gonna come to the shores of that island safe and sound, no problems at all, I promise." - So we just have to listen. - Make an insight check, please.

13? 13. He seems to be honest. It sounds like we have a deal. How long is it going to take us together? It's probably going to take, like, a couple hours. How treacherous is this journey?

You'll be fine, I'll take care of you. Nothing bad will happen. I would like to insight check the fish. Make one, you can make an insight check. You can just try to... Excuse me, be honest? Very honest. Very honest. Well, I don't think we need to rest beforehand. I think we can get going. The sooner the better. How do we follow if we have Babo? Aren't there sharks?

What are you guys feeling? Love, do you need to rest? Well, I feel kind of squishy. If you're asking me in the way of a seafaring creature, I'd like something sporty like a tuna.

- Say no more! - No! - Suddenly a massive, like strange rainbow-colored tuna erupts out of the water. Not quite as big as the shark, but pretty darn close. - I'm gonna immediately jump on it, like to ride it and say, "Ha ha, if only Darius could see me now." - Could I have a seahorse, please? - Oh, that's so great. - Oh, you want a seahorse? - Yep. - You knew that.

- Yeah, okay. - I'm gonna immediately jump on it. Vroom, vroom! - And yeah, it is a beautiful, almost looks like coral, and nails like a sea dragon as it erupts. And it's a bit, it's not nearly as big as the tuna, as it sticks its head out and it looks around. - Vroom, vroom. - I would like something I could lounge on. Stretch out my muscles. So maybe a manta ray?

Oh, it's a good one. Like a devil ray. Done. And his hands glow with that turquoise and you see a loud splash of water as a huge jet black manta ray leaps out of the water. Eyes are red as it lands and slides up its long tail almost twice the long of its full body.

I'll keep Fizz here. So cute. I think. Shadow, and I'll start gently tiptoeing on top of him. Yeah, it seems to let me on. They all seem to do exactly what Fizz tells them to do. Okay.

Okay, who's next? Unless you guys want to double up, there's plenty of surface... It's pizza. Surface fish for everyone. Why don't you come share my mom's to my dad's with you? You get to pick what it is. Don't make him stupid. What do you have in the way of a jellyfish? Jellyfish? Anything poisonous? Very venomous, yeah. Pineapple. If you stay on the top of it, it'll be fine, though. It's not going to be very fast, but you'll keep up.

- I'll do the jellyfish. - He raises his hand and we splash, you just see a loop and a relatively small jellyfish appears. Its head is this green and purple, almost like a mushroom and is spotted as well and you're able to hop on it. It fits you comfortably. Braum would not be able to fit on this jellyfish. - Has everyone else picked?

- Yes you have it, and you have it. - What do you have in the way of bird-like things? - That doesn't exist. - Bird-like things? - I don't know. - There's no task. You know, feathers, birds. - I mean, turtles have beaks. - Sounds good. - I can't summon any giant pelicans or something if that's what you're looking for. Only sea creatures, no sky creatures. That is strictly not my domain.

I gotta stay, I'm a trickster, but I stay in my guide's-- - Turtles sound good to me. - And with a, he says, "Okay, good!" He jumps and a large sea turtle with this beautiful blue shell and skin, it merges near you all and you're able to both get on it and you've both been there. - I very reluctantly get on this creature.

I will take the most majestic, wonderful sea creature with the finest mustache, the walrus. That's actually pretty fucking clever. Well, that's honestly not what I normally work with, but okay, hold on. What did you pick? And with a swirling splash of water and the turquoise magic, you hear...

as a bristle, a giant walrus with a mustache. A full mustache. It's like a version of yours, but just massive. Ooh, the mustache on this one. And jagged tusks swims up to you. Is that the thing? Is that the thing? Is that the thing?

It's Urf the Manatee, Mike. Oh, Urf the Manatee. Yeah. It's a walrus. It's a walrus. And it's easy to be all this icy, you see the skin is kind of icy white and blue. It's very, it's almost like it's from Freljord. I'll immediately leap on. Okay, you guys ready? Good walrus. This is going to be totally fine. Are we doing it again? I'm telling the truth. They're going to follow me anyway, so you don't really have a choice. Okay.

Let's go! And he sticks out his trident as Chomper the shark thunders forward and swims around.

- All I am doing is watching this stupid fish child to make sure that it is not sneaking something, hiding something, trying to spin around behind us to get to the bag that holds the compass. - Okay, make a general perception check at advantage 'cause you're being very deliberate about it for the group here. - Pizza's pretty good.

17 plus 7, so math. Okay. 23. Or 24. And so you keep an eye on Fizz as this fleet of strange, large, magical sea beasts all make a formation where you're able to stay on the top of the water and you ride in style. Woohoo!

as you make your way through the rest of these straits, the Harpy's Banquet, with no effort at all, as you follow on the other side and veer off, and you almost kind of follow along the line of these straits as you turn left and right, and even though you make your way to open ocean, and you see bits and pieces of reef sticking out,

almost as if the light reflecting off the ocean is almost blinding you in certain ways that you can look. And Finn seems to be guiding you around and through as you see his trident glow turquoise with every single turn as you travel for several hours and enjoy a short rest. Wait, wait, hold on. While we're doing that, I would like to perform an interpretive dance.

for my song of rest. So that everyone who decides to use hit points for their rest gets an additional d6. Thank you. Thank God. Let me see a garlic sauce. Garlic sauce. Probably not a lot of DMs.

Fuck back up there! In the d6 you only use once, right? Yes, it is one d6. So you can roll your mana. You continue onward and Zaya, you notice as Fizz continues to guide you all, as Fizz continues to guide you on your respective sea creatures, you

You see that he seems to be keeping his eye on the horizon. He keeps looking up and around. And you see as he seems to be staying ahead. But you see that there's a bit of a cloud that he's heading in the direction of.

And you see that it's not quite a cloud at all. It is a, what seems to be like a large flock of these strange white and blue pelicans far off. It seems to be diving into the water and he seems to be heading directly towards them.

I'm gonna whisper over to Rakan who's sharing a fish with me and say... Turtle. Sorry. I don't trust the fish. I don't trust anyone who's not misdiving. Just make sure I don't fall off. And I'm gonna take one of my hands off of the thing that I'm holding and just keep it in my bag at all times, holding the compass. Rakan, put this arm around her waist.

So that if anything tries to get to this bag, I'm holding onto the compass. Okay. So as you continue to make your way, you all hear the loud squawking of these pelicans. And these are huge creatures. You get the sense that it could swallow a yordle in one of its bills. And as they're flying all around, you hear, you see Fizz look back and he goes, hee hee hee.

as he shoots through. And now for the same reason why you understand why the White Wharf is called the White Wharf, you see that these massive creatures also produce a lot of waste as, I need everyone to make a dexterity saving throw. Dex, you say? Do I see it coming? Is anyone with intensity to me? Probably not. No.

Oh no, I'm not proficient at decks. I would just like to announce that whoever cut my pizza used to work at Chuck E. Cheese. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Squares? No, it's just all over the place. I got a 16. I got a 23. Okay. You said deck saving throw? Deck saving throw. 24. Okay. 22. Okay. 26. Okay. Oh no. Burn.

- Oh no, Rikana, no. - So as you're all making your way, you all manage to see as this waste is just dropping from the sky as-- - Are you allowing things to shit on us? - Yes. - Yeah, but not drink. - It's shit on us. - And Zaya, you only see a flash of white and Timo, you don't even see it coming as both of you get completely

drenched, and you literally get shit on. Me and him. Oh, come on, apologies. Zaya, you see a flash of white as you see your lover completely turn white, and your speed is now halved. It's not a flash of brown. It's not a flash of brown. As you literally get shit on. As poor Teemo gets shit on, I look over my shoulder and say, ha ha, man, I'm good. And Fizz looks back. Fizz looks back, he goes, ha ha!

Oh my gosh. I bet you guys didn't see that coming. Oh, I only got two of you.

- That's less fun. It'll hurt you, I promise, it wouldn't be too terrible. Okay, let's go! - And we'll have it next time with your silly jokes and pranks. - You gonna kill it yet? - No. - And with that, it's only about 30 more minutes as you continue and you turn one into another one, kind of this flash of blue light almost envelops you.

and not brown, but turquoise, as a flash of blue almost envelops you and the trident washes over you. And suddenly where there had just been horizon is now an island, a beautiful tropical island, lush jungles rising up and pristine beaches stretching as far as you can see.

as Fizz guides you along with all of your sea creatures up to the beach and with that, he hops off and says, "Okay, Chomper, wait right here, I'll be right back." And he hops onto the beach and he waits for you all to dismount.

I will do so. Okay. And I pat my sporty tuna and I wave him goodbye. He looks at you with a large eye and kind of... Is our movement speed still halved? Yes. Have we got shit on? Yep. Can we take some time to actually wash that off? Can I prestidigitation them? Oh, yeah.

I would say, yeah, you could easily do that. So you are no longer, your speed is no longer halved once you all do that. I will miss you, Gustav. Come see me in front of you, please. John is very thankful to no longer be covered in shit. Important question. Are you watching the spot off? No. I'm afraid to go anywhere near it. He still has dirtles. I'm afraid.

So you all manage to dismount and all of your fish and mammals and reptiles and turd and all that biz and invertebrates of whatever a fucking jellyfish is. I appear to have lost an eyebrow. Find it on your hand. Oh no. And you all are standing on the beach. Still on your fish. As you see that this island isn't very large compared to the other islands of the archipelago.

And you see that-- I've got a question, Mike. How far away from where I did Primeval Awareness are we? I would say that you are probably-- With several hour journey? Several hour journey. Many miles. That'd probably be out of the Primeval Awareness. Unless you're only going six miles an hour. I'm gonna do the same thing. Okay.

I would say you channel your power of the coast, and you get the strong sense of Celestral. And fey. And fey. There is no more aberration anywhere near you. Thank you.

And... Ellie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Ellie? Ellie, are you okay? Only just barely. Fizz walks up to you. I'm sorry that I did that, but that's like one of like five things that I could have done to you. So, I mean, that's pretty good. I normally would have like, I've sent people to their death plenty of times. It was good fun. But you wouldn't have done that because then you wouldn't have been able to go home.

- No, I wouldn't do that. No, of course. Can I have the compass, please? - Is this the serpent's heart? - It is the serpent's heart. Look, it's heart-shaped. - How can we know for sure? - Can I either assist her or also roll an insight? - I would say we'll do one insight. Mel, go ahead. - In all trades such as these, we need some sign of good faith. - I mean, didn't you see the island magically appear?

in front of you? - I don't, I honestly don't know how to answer that. - Dirty 20. - Dirty 20. I would say that you knew that you, you got a sense that he was being- - Sorry, dirty 22. - I would say that you got the sense that he was being cheeky about nothing bad happening. Here, he seems to be incredibly honest and there's a bit of like desperation and lonely melancholy to his voice. - So I believe him that this is a serpent object. - Yes. - Okay.

You guys can see that there's a temple in there. It's not too far through the jungle. I can wait here.

I don't wanna be too far from the sea. I wanna pull Zaya aside for a second, since I know she has the compass. And just, uh... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Not that kind of thing. Is that supposed to be a challenge? You can watch. I can't wait to watch the Demacian woman slaughter the Birdman. If you kill him, you die. Demacian woman.

I'm sorry, someone's the younger brother of the leader of Noxus. They shouldn't be throwing their weight around. Ha! Darius doesn't give a shit where I am. Great. So that means he won't care when you're- He probably wouldn't, actually. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you, Sheeble. If you take your toes and you stretch them really long, you could tie them in a knot.

He's okay, Draven. Friends or family, you can choose. Thank you for pronouncing my name correctly. Oh, you're very welcome, Draven. Why did you want to say that? But to say that we don't need the compass for some other reason. We're getting back, but if we get lost, let's see. Okay.

I will take you around to the woods. - You see, as soon as you have this conversation off to the side and Braum, as soon as you mentioned friends are the family you can choose, Fizz kind of looks a little dejected and he says, "Yeah, that would be nice. But the toes and tying, I once tied eels around a fisherman's feet and he tripped and fell into the water and the reef sharks ate him." It was hilarious. - Is everyone all right with this?

thing leaving us with this. Yeah, that's what we promised. You did. Promise me. A Lulu always keeps her promises. We are here. What was that thing again? Scouts go. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz. Fizz

He's a fuser. Who has the staff? What? Her name's Janna. Oh, fuck me. She's not gonna be here, though. Out of character, out of character. But she can come here? Well, everyone besides the... the... I shouldn't say it. Say it. What did you say? Say it with your chest. No! No!

It's... He's bad news. He can't come here. None of us...

No. French fries. The Chosen? I'm not going to talk about that. Two words. Starts with T. Let's stop guessing. Now. Why? Because it's not a fun game. Oh, I like it a lot. And he sees... Picks likes it too. The compass rose with a glowing needle on the design. You have dirt...

I will kill turtles! Turtles on your cloak! I don't like our picks. Yes, we are here on a turtle, I know. You were saying fizz, fizz, fizz, fizz. He looks at it. Fizz, fizz. And he says, I can go home now. I can get to them. I can follow this.

Thank you all so much! I was getting so tired of these islands and these horrible, greedy people. It wasn't fun anymore. But now I get to go home and be with family and friends. Monsieur Fizz, you cannot stress the importance of keeping your family strong and together. I hope you're able to reunite with them quickly. Me too. Good luck. Thank you! And remember, friends. Thank you all! The darker the night, the brighter the stars. Yes, sir.

That's so inspirational. Let's go, Chomper, while we feel inspired. He jumps up. Goodbye! And with a loud splash, Chomper dives beneath the surface and the water is still and Fizz has left you. How many more spells can you do? And you stare up and you see the Jem'Had.

I don't trust the small one in the hat to not give us away, so we might have to make her forget certain things. Not now, but later. Okay. And as you stare up above the jungle line, you actually see the very peak, the top of some kind of structure made of stone within this

dense vegetation. Let's haul this back to the jungles. Can't get out of the jungles. You know jungles? I wish I didn't. I do not know jungles. You should leave. I think he knows how to make the flashbacks.

- Dumb? As in, like, what you do to cheese? - Exactly right. - Hey Zaya, I could suck on my own toe, wanna see? - I trust you. - I'll show you anyway. - I'm gonna start sucking on my toe. - Telling her you don't want to see it only makes her want to do it more. - Kinda like telling me I don't wanna kill you makes her wanna do it more.

This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legendsofavantris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shroud over Saltmarsh. You can also go to thecrookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement.

The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Everybody file in line. I have a plan. What's the plan? I will go on instinct. That's not a plan. Well, it works out for us. You stare at the jungle. What are you all doing?

Following Teemo. Okay. You should probably be quiet. You all get in single file and I'm gonna need to do a group stealth check as you make your way. I'm casting Pass Without a Trace first. Okay. You, the shadow from your cloak bursts out and shrouds all of your friends. I got a 33 then. 33. Was it a 10? Yes.

16. 16, good. I got a 33. 20. Okay. 19. Okay, 23. Okay. 30. Okay.

- Got it. So you all follow Timo creeping through the jungle. Timo, this is, as you make your way underneath vines and over fallen logs and through fronds of ferns, this is giving you flashbacks and memories. Every single fallen friend, every single person you killed, it's all coming back to you. - It's okay. - The tunnel warfare. - I'm here for the scout standing. - The tiger fits.

And eventually you make your way down into a small ravine and you climb up on the other side. And then you see in a small clearing through the jungle, the vines hanging down, a large temple, almost ruined, made out of these heavy, almost beige-like stones. And you see that there is a large statue on the top. It seems to be the head of a serpent.

But where its chin is are four rising tentacles, and it has five eyes with massive rubies marking them at the very top of this temple. And you see a large, what would have been a door, crumbled away through the stone. And it seems you see the darkness within. Does this seem to be the stein at all? I would say make a history check.

- Natural 20. - Gotta give it up, natural fucking 20. - Gotta give it up. - I would say with 21, you know that this is not Vestayan and I think that probably maybe while you were researching songs, you heard a song about the god Nagakkeboros, the mother serpent, the bearded lady, the great kraken. And this seems to be the architecture and the style of the statue of a temple dedicated to her.

- It is the god that is worshiped by the Baru natives of these serpent isles, which are known by a lot of the outside world as the blue flame isles. - Oh, this is the Magga, you remember the... - That seemed to only be half helpful.

You're only half helpful. That's what a lot of people say. He's not- Wait a minute. I want to step forward a little bit while still kind of being in the brush and not breaking stealth. I would like to use my...

Valoran sense to detect any locations of celestial fiend undead within 60 feet. They're not behind the cover. You channel that and you'd suspect no, any of those within 60 feet of you. Okay. Wait, that squirrel looks familiar. She's at the dig.

I'm trying to get through my entire sheet. I will accomplish this. You know, it wasn't the one I thought it was. We're okay. I turn to T-Bone. Mike was staring at me. Sorry. I'm going to put both hands on your shoulders and listen. T-Bone. Yes. Okay. One minute.

I don't know that word. My friend. Okay. I always ask my teammates to ban you and ban your face. And they never listen. And the opponent locks in Teemo and I just rage quit the first two minutes. That's so sweet. I wanted to confess this to you to let you know I can't stand fighting against you. But... We'll never fight you, my love! I don't know, but we should. Okay. I just wanted to let you know.

She said the same!

That was an incredibly roundabout way to get through. Can I run in and I just give them the biggest hug? I do the group hug. You all group hug. I have to inspire her, but I have no ability to. Oh my gosh, thank you! Thank you so much! Thank you so much. Thank you, you're so nice. Thanks buddy. Thank you so much. Happy to see you in chat.

- So kind of you. - Okay. - Rakan slowly just starts walking in the direction of the temple. - Okay, you see Rakan just creeping up and you see this large temple looming up ahead. The entrance way now getting,

closer and closer, as you can see in, it's dark. There are bits of, there are rays of sunlight coming in through the roof where it had collapsed. But you see that there are a great number of stairs to get up to before you get to this door. - He's kind of doing the Star Lord thing where he's just kind of jamming and kind of dancing to himself, a little like ahead of everybody and just kind of humming to himself and stuff. - Okay. - Well, are we gonna follow him?

- I suppose. - He's dancing. - My love, come back. - He certainly can't. - I recommend skipping. And then I skip. - She said the thing. - I'm gonna get through this list. - Why does Lulu have so many lines? I have like a penis, Fiora. I've been like carefully going through them like rations. - I still have too many. - You make your way up to the stairs with Rakan in the lead dancing and you see as

Now that you make your way up the stairs, you have to watch where some, the stone had given way and slides down, where bits of rubble have fallen off the roof and destroyed whole parts of this temple. But you make your way and you see in this archway that there seems to be a massive chamber with a stone door at the far end of this room and at the very center of this chamber with a dome at the top

with elegant, not tapestry, a mosaic of symbols of the sea and the sky swirling around not just the roof, but also the walls. A massive, brilliant, brassy golden statue of the same that you had seen on the roof. This serpent's head with five eyes and four tentacles at the center. What are we looking for again? We need to pour rum that I still have in my pens.

What do we need to pour it on? Into the... Mouth. Is it like a... The heart. There was a pool. The heart. And there's a heart. There doesn't seem to be a pool here. Small one. Yes. With a helmet. It's me. You're good at traps. Want to see if there's any ahead of us? Can you please stop for two seconds? Yeah. That's a good idea. I'll scout ahead. Make a survival check. Thank you. Small one.

- 26. - 26. You look around and there seems to be no recent tracks at all, but you actually are able to find one or two tracks footprints. - I think she said traps. - Traps? There are no traps at all that you can find. - Okay. - I thought you said tracks. There seems to be, does it not seem to be trapped at all, at least by anything mechanical?

- T-R-A-C-K-S. - That's what he said. - No, I'm too much of a... - He said there was no traps, so I thought I'd go with my first one. - Got it. Trax, you see the occasional footprint from a large foot, probably the size of Braum's foot, but it seems to be very old. - Seems clean. - Is this, maybe we try Gromp. And if it works, then we should know. - I don't think we're in the right spot. - I don't think we're in the right spot.

I don't think we're in the right spot. So what are we at here? Different paths? I don't think we're in the right spot. You see as you enter this chamber that the far door further into this temple has an elegantly mosaicked symbol of what looks like to be the shape of a heart with both storm clouds and waves swirling together into that symbol. Tentacles wriggling all around.

There's no other pool? There's no pool. You don't see a pool. There's just the head of a statue in the center of this room, and you look and you see that there are four platforms. As you enter, and we'll just say you're right at the threshold of this room here, that there's a statue in the center, and then there's four statues, stone statues, as you enter that you can see raised on these platforms of what look like tentacles, large versions of the one on the end. Hmm.

Looks like we need to get in there. Yes, the way. Perhaps we split up. That sounds like a terrible idea. That sounds like a terrible idea. Is there... It's just door? Then open it. Well, even the heaviest door can be opened. I was waiting for it. I said the thing. I was waiting for it. I had to check my notebook. I just tell him to look at the door. I'm like, come on, buddy. It's in there. I put my shield down next to it. See? Door. Door. Door.

- A door? - And I'm just gonna tell you, I punch it. - Okay, so you take your fist and you punch the door and your hand smashes into it. Even with your strength, it doesn't give way. And you're actually gonna take

one point of bludgeoning damage as it bruises your knuckles, but then as soon as you pull your hand back and look, the door and the symbol around it starts to glow green as it

with energy and pulses as it starts to swirl around and all of this intricate carving and mosaics starts to pulse with green energy as the statue itself glows. And you see all of the tentacle statues do the same as well as you then see the energy start to pool and form these ethereal, wriggling, spectral tentacles emerge from the ground and they lash about and they seem to be attacking you. Oh, an over initiative! Oh, an over initiative!

- All of us are just really like, good or bad, good or bad. - All of you, surround you. Could you please place up, get rid of the last and place your minis where you would have been. - Oh boy, finally a bad initiative for a great win. - Would you guess? - Yeah, I got the same thing, yeah. - Your initiative's been pretty hot. - It has been. It's been very hot. I got a nine. - Can I use a baby thingy? - Go for it. - Should we do it? - Yeah. - I rolled a one. - We gotta move all that. - Go. - On it. - Do it.

If you get another one, I'll let it go. A. Treven goes when Treven wants to. 20 to 25. Not this time. A 22. Okay. For Con, 22. 15 to 20. 15. 15? 10 to 15. 13. 13 for Fiora. Okay.

- What did you guys get, Draven? - Draven got a nine. - A six. - Lulu got a nine and let Draven go first. - Timo got a seven. - May our muscles ripple last in initiative. - You got a six? - Braum got a six, so it's Draven, Lulu, Timo, Braum. - Got it. Okay, cool. - I got you. - With that.

Feel free to put us places. Yeah, so I would be by the door that I punched. Is this right? Yep. With that... Is this the door? No, we came in the open way. That's the door. So the door that Braum punched is that one. Okay. And with that, these tentacles merge. I can have the party parrot. Oh, a party parrot. Can you guys place yourselves where you would have been?

- What place you, Mike? - I'm just pointing you places as long as you want to move. - This place is somewhere you'd probably be up here, like looking at shit. - Yeah, we'd all be, mostly in your braum. - Yeah. - I think you'd probably be close to braum. - Trap a lot. - Let's get the camera over there. - Oh jeez, it's weird. - Come from this, is there enough slack here? - Hold up.

Holy! Yes, it would appear so, but we should probably put it behind the iPad. Nah. Okay. Holy! Can I, uh, I can't be around the other side. Just for your- It looks like, uh, an Eevee. No, it's not, it's bullpix. It's a Ninetales. God! It looks like, as I said, it's got way more than- it's got nine tails. I know, I think it's a Nine Individual Tail. As they, uh, do this, or do this.

- Brom should check the door for any knockers. No way, Lone Guard, that can't be true.

- Lone is saying that he has watched 21 solid days of content and I don't believe it. - I don't believe it. - As these tentacles start to wriggle and writhe, you see the eyes glow on the statue as it pulses with this light and you feel as if it is defending itself in this temple. But Colin, you're up.

These are individually targetable things? Yes. They're all super tentacles. I am going to cast Bane at the second level on all the four that are by me and Zaya. That d20 is going forever. So six, two, four, and eight, I'm going to cast Bane on. Okay. So that is a charisma saving throw. Okay. Your turn for feathers.

- Okay, I'm just gonna go down the horn here. - This is the opposite of where I'm at. - So, fail. - Okay. - It's on my turn. - Okay. - Fail. - Okay. - Pass, 19. - Yep. - Four fail. - Okay, so one of them has succeeded? - Which is, we'll just say six has succeeded, has baned. - Okay, so the other three are baned.

And as my bonus action, I want to inspire Zaya. I say, and I have your back. Okay. With that, Zaya, you're up. Okay. I don't like the ones right next to me. Is the giant weird symbol a thing that I can stand on? It is a statue. You can try to climb it.

Cool, I'm gonna do that. How tall is it? It's probably about 15 feet tall. Okay, so it's not giant. No, no, it's giant. It's a large statue, but it's not like giga huge. Okay, make an athletics check. Or you can acrobatics it if you want to try to huddle. Look at what I'm better at. Probably acrobatics. Why do you have clothes, D&D Beyond? Uh, yeah, I want to do acrobatics.

- 18. - 18, okay, you managed to hop up and get on top of this thing and use about 15 feet of movement to do so. - Beautiful. - Does she take an opportunity to? - Oh yes, you will. And that one is baned, so I will, yeah, no, there's no way. Swings and miss, slams down, but it does not find purchase on you. - Okay. - Ha ha! - So bane, I just, doesn't give me advantage.

No, it just affects them. It debuffs them by d4 for saving throws and attack. Beautiful. I'm gonna shoot four. 17. 17 hits. Okay. I'm gonna take a second shot. Are the corners the pillars that you were talking about? Yeah, those are big statues. Nine plus 11. Oh, yep, that hits. Oh, this is an ideal flush for Naruto.

It's the one sealed away in his tum tum. Eight for the first shot. I'm an anime fan. On number one? On four. And ten. I'll start number four. As both fellas slice in and pierce into it, as it takes the full damage, and it seems to kind of waver a little bit as you pierce it, but it does seem to be piercing some kind of fleshy business. Fiora, you're up. I was making a deck of

Number 4, Erypia, who, 13. 13 misses. Next one. You miss and throw things with a follow. 15? 15, that hits. Alright. See, I don't get my spells back because I didn't want to rest, so I'll just leave it for later.

It'll be 12 points of damage. Thank you, Musicorum. 12 points of damage, number what? Number four. Okay. And then... Sounds good. I can use a bonus action to engage Rand Challenge. Okay. To mark a champion for vital points. So I can roll a d4. And that's just like per bonus action, not like a once a day thing. It's just the once a day... Oh, it's a bonus action, and then that would determine where the...

- Or where the vital point is. - Yeah, so you pick something and you roll the, yeah, you roll the d4. - But it's not like I'm engaging the full ultimate version of the card. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, then I'll use my bonus action for that. So I'll say one, two, three, four. So the vital point is on this side. So I will move up here. Perfect. I probably should have started with that. That's okay. I'm learning, I'm learning. Yeah, no worries. That's my turn. Okay, you pierce into it and you do a bit of damage. It's kind of wavering and it's starting to be a little more erratic than the others. It is their turn as they are going to...

lunge forward and slam down. And we're going to get, I need the one that is actually weak is going to make a line slam. I need Braum, Draven and Fiora to make a dexterity saving throw for me. - Natural fucking 20. - So the total's gonna be 27 for me 'cause I'm near Fiora. - Wow. Wow.

No fucking way! What is that like-- No fucking way! 12,000, 1,200, 1,800. Well, I was advantage, so that-- Okay, so it negates it a little bit, but that's still insane. That's actually insane. Go ahead, Maya, do it. Do it, Maya. No, no, give me some skin. But that's never stopped you before. Look, look, look, look, look. Does legendary versus radiant matter for you yet? Holy fuck!

No, I have not smiled. You're so cute. Your joy over natural 20 chunks everything into the tile. So you're gonna take half of 14 points of radian and bludgeoning as it smashes down on you. I'm so excited. It's the greatest thing. You take half of that. I need Teemo and Lulu to now make a saving throw as well. Oh shit. A natural two. Death saving throw?

- Yep, dex. - Oh, so that's a six. - Okay, that's a fail. - So why do you pass? - Is this you? - That's me, yeah. - Okay, Lily, you get plus three and you're just saving throw. - That's a nine. - Half of 14 again, 14 bludgeoning and radiant. - That's seven. - So half of you pass, the DC is 13. - I love Fiona. - Did I take damage even if I pass? - Oh yeah. - No, you passed me half of it. - I'll take it though. - Which was seven?

It was seven, yeah. So if you play seven, 14. And then we're going to get, and there are the other ones that are out of, actually they're going to be able to lash. One is going to lash at Rakan. It's caught. That is going to be a 17. So these are 10 decals. That is my armor class. Okay, it smashes down onto you, dealing...

- Chicken tentacles. - 12 points of bludgeoning and radiant damage. And then we are going to get an attack on, oh, that one already, you did that. So we're gonna get three attacks on Teemo. - Stop it. - I keep my concentration on Bane. - Three attacks on Bane? - I keep my concentration. - Okay, three attacks on Teemo.

Did the ones that were Bane attack? Two horribly miss. The ones that attack with Bane, they have not attacked yet. The ones by us without six. They have not attacked yet, correct. One is going to...

- One is gonna hit you, Teemo. And you're gonna enjoy 12 points of blood and radiant damage. - I'm going to use my Uncanny Dodge to half that. - And then with that, they're going to shoot up at Zaya. And they're both baned. - Fuck you! - And they shoot these radiant blasts at you. But that's minus a d4. - What? That may actually hit.

And with Bane, that's minus four, that misses. And then the next one is going to be, that's also Bane. So that's going to be 18, but minus three is 15. So they blast out and they just hit the side of the statue with two-duty energy. And that's everybody. Okay, Draven, you're up. Sorry, I'm not so good. I am going to...

- It's gonna be tough from here. I'm gonna take a look at the ones that are baned and start making attacks. I'm gonna take three total attacks here. That's gonna be a natural one to miss, unfortunately. The second one is gonna be a 26. - Okay, 26 hits. - And then a 25. - 25 hits. - That's gonna be five if we go.

from where i am one two uh one two three four five oh boy it's gonna be like in the statue if i'm gonna move ten like oh man you can get around there it's like it's bigger it's just a large thing that's this tower i don't think technically i can get there that's fine two attacks okay uh on number i can't see the number but the one that's closest to fiora first uh four okay 12 points of damage roll that for it okay

It's very rough. And then another 10 points of damage, so 22 total. It completely dissipates. You fling your axe through and it bursts. All right, that's my turn. Okay, Lulu, you're up.

- Me. ♪ I am going to turn around ♪ ♪ Every now and then I fall apart ♪ ♪ And I'm gonna cast some glitter lamps ♪ ♪ At the ones behind my picks ♪ - 28 and a 20. - 28 and a 20, okay, both hit. - Da da da da da da da.

18 points of force damage to the one. - 18 points of force damage, okay. - And it is slowed because both of them hit. - To number three? - Yeah. - Okay, you burst out and they both hit and they seem to do the full damage.

Its speed is reduced by half. - Got it. - Not like it really matters, but it is. - By the way, oh, never mind, never mind. We got Prestidigitation, we're no longer gonna have it. - Oh yeah. - No, I clean. - All right, I am going to-- - Just not your nurdles. - I've got a mushroom with your name.

- Drop a mushroom down and it kind of pulses. - Drop a mushroom and then I'm going to blow dart number five. - She said the thing? - She said the thing. - I just, I said the thing. - Very nice, very well done. - I've never played Teemo, I don't know what he says. - 21. - To number what? - And that's 10 damage. - 10 damage, to number what? - To number five.

- We have a lot of words-- - You shoot into it and you see that the poisons are just dissipating into it and seems to be actually doing things. Kind of pulses. - I got it. - Braum, you're up. - I understood. - This is final defense of this temple. - You're very good. - You're so cute, it kills me now. - I wanna proceed if I sense any other danger coming from outside. - Flying lesson? - I would say make a reception check. - Nightlyness? - Vesper, Vesper.

Skills. 20, this seems to be-- Can't go OP. Seeing that, I will run, can you move me, like run me maybe like seven, I think I have seven, or actually eight squares. Damn! Four, five. Up? Yeah, over here. Six, seven. Yep. Eight. Yep, and then I'm gonna jump here.

And I'm going to use Glacial Fissure and slam my shield down on the ground. Fuck yeah, let's go, baby. And I'll say, and there will be a ground will start to break out into ice. Yeah, it ruptures and ice is bursting up everywhere. 10, 7, 8, 9, 10.

10, 11, 12, everybody with that guy. - Okay. - Wait, does it hit us too? - No, no, no. - Holy shit, what's the range on that? - 60 by 10. - Damn! - It ruptures. - And they need to make saving throws? - They need to make, hold on, let me just read it. They need to make a deck saving throw. - Okay.

- And that's three. - Let's go around down the horn here. So can you just name the number? Can you do that one? - Five. - 13. - What's the DC? - Oh, it's a 16. - 13, okay. - Fail. - Five fails, seven? - 10. - Fails. - Three. - 10. - Fails. - Four. - Fails. - 10. - Eight. - Fails.

Two? 11. Fails. Okay, so they all fail. They all fail. They all fail, so I'll just reroll one of these. This one. So they will take... This, this, this. It could be worse. They're going to take 10 plus 12. They're going to take 22 points of damage, and they are all restrained. Oh, crap. Wow. Until the...

- Until the end of my next turn. It's also difficult terrain for enemies. - They're chicken tentacles. - The ice ruptures and they all start to kind of shift around as they all are unable to dodge, being kind of rooted to the ground at least that you can see. And they take the full blast. The ice is, your magic is strong enough to not harm your allies as it ruptures out as they take that full damage. - Hello tentacle.

I'm here for the panel on the Japanese robot. Okay, um, which, were there any that didn't get hit by? Just six. Yep, that guy. Okay. Yes, I missed your pain. So that guy's doomed. I am going to, oh, what number is that? Six? Six? The best tentacle. I'm gonna do a little interpretive dance as an attempt of vicious mockery, the number six. Okay. Wisdom saving throw. Okay.

- 16. - I failed, got 11. - All right, it takes five psychic damage and has disadvantage on its attack rolls until the end of its next turn. - Okay, you do that and it seems to kind of shift and shake as it takes damage. - As I dance. - And you dance and even though it's a tentacle, seems to notice what you're doing. - Ole. - Okay. - Ole. - Zio. - Drop it low. - No! - Let me see you shoot that ass, Pearl.

- All right, I'm just gonna shoot the ones that are closer on the side. - Okay. - Start with this one, start with two. - You should sharpshooter. - I will if I do a good thing. - You have to say it before you roll. - Good thing I didn't do it, huh? It's a good thing that's still a 15. - 15 barely hits. I believe in you, Ziya. - That one is definitely a 24. - Okay, that hits. - Okay. - You're hitting the same one he hit? - Yes. - Okay. - That's my eight.

- Where's my DA? Where's my DA? Where's my DA? Thank you. - 10. - 10 points of damage, okay. Eight, okay. Your arrows fly in and it pierces in and they glow as they all fall down, okay. And with that, it's Fiora's turn.

Very good. I will try to see. Of two and eight, can I tell from my distance control speaker? I would say being tentacles is kind of hard to tell. Oh my God, that's a really good Pikachu. Do I know anything about Paya's ability to be in the line of sight of her feathers? Probably not. Okay, I'm currently drawing a Pikachu. I take an attack against this one. Okay. Two plus three.

- 12 misses probably. - Yep. - Okay. - It made us wriggle out of the way. - And the other one died that I did the thing on, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, probably. So this is a 21. - Okay. - So this'll do.

- Okay, I would say so 14. Points of magical piercing to number two. - 14? - Yep, and then I will roll a d4 to determine its... - You pierce into it and your magic rapier slices through. - So I think I said one, two, three, four. So one, two, so it's on this side. So I will go, so when I move five, 10,

- You're taking an opportunity attack? - I'm just gonna go around? - No, there's two. - That's right. - Yeah. - I would take an opportunity. - That's gonna be 24 to hit. - Woof. - No, I don't think that misses. - Darius, he threw that for you. - Oh my God.

Look at how good that is. 23 points of blessing. Mr. Burns from the sentence. It's Tanjiro, I should have known. Okay, that's my turn. It's Turtle. Okay. With that, Christina Carvey. It's their turn. They are going to... I love me stupid. Ha ha! Ha ha!

They are all, how many are left? Seven. Seven. As they're all going to channel the energy, the spirit glows, the statue glows, and they all shoot up into the statue. Oh, fuck it. As a massive burst of radiant light shoots out, I need everyone to make a... Wait, is this their thing? This is their action. Just checking, is it the statue I'm standing on? No.

Wait, oh, I'm sorry. Is it gonna matter? Is that the tentacle or you said that's a statue? It's the tentacle's turn. Okay, then these two blow up. Okay.

Con saving throw? Yes. For one, seven and three. That's gonna be an 18. That passes. And a 19. Thank you, Roger. That passes. Thank you, Roger. So they get one stack of yeast and they maybe take some damage. It might not matter. If it doesn't matter, then that's fine. No, they take always damage. Okay, I didn't know if it will not matter if they're gonna like sloop into the... So they take five damage and they have one stack of yeast. Five damage to whom? To seven and three. Okay. Three.

Three's looking pretty rough as it bursts, but they're still able to shoot into it and a blast of radiant light. I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw. - Oh no. - Against magic? - Against magic, yes. - Nice. - Draven isn't very wise. - And that threw one. - No one gets plus three, sorry. - Draven is quite arguably the dumbest creature in Noxus. Draven got a five.

Wisdom, you say? Draven is bracing for his mind to be melted. 11? Yeah. Okay. 16. 23. 23? 23? Draven's new name is Jell-O Brain. What do you get, Timo? 9. Okay. What do you get, Flucon? 16.

- Braum. - Oh, I'd natural one. - Okay, so you three guys, Teemo, the two Yordles, and then Draven and Braum, you're doing the full amount of this. - Yeah.

26 points of radiant damage. Fucking hell. And as it blasts you, you all feel almost like your soul is being ripped out of your body as you see a green spectral version of yourself appear next to you. Okay, Lyle. For those of us who saved, we take half? We take half of the damage, no soul, spectral soul business. I'm gonna use Heart of the Freljord or whatever the fuck it is.

to reduce that damage by one d12 plus my con. Do these disappear because they merged in with the stack? They merged in, just sought energy out of it. Draven will begin to, they're there. Okay, and five has to roll a con. Oh, I have to roll a save. He had a stack on him, right? So he has to roll a con.

- 11. - So he takes one of the eight four. - Do we need to show that there's a spectral version of ourselves? - No, we'll just say it's next to us. - He takes two damage. - Two damage, okay. - I don't know who failed. - And now does that stack clear? - Oh shit. - What's it damage him? - Savage attacker, that's a thing. - Well he passed the saving throw. - Okay, no, he failed. - It's looking rough for that, okay.

With that, you see that these spectral forms appear next to you, almost in your similar, in your same space, but they're floating ethereal. And these forms are all looking up, their eyes are shooting up with green light as they seem to be judged by this statue of Nagakeboros. With that, it's Draven's turn.

Oh boy. Can I interact with this spectral form of myself at all, does it seem like? Or is it not targetable? It seems to be targetable. You can try to shoot. It seems to be made of the same kind of stuff as your...

Draven, Draven, headdice starts now. What in the hell is this? There can only be one Draven! And I begin to attack the spectral form myself. Okay, you make... Oh boy. You attack the spectral form. I'm going to take three auto attacks. The first one is going to be a 20 to hit. A 20 to hit, so we'll roll the damage for that first. Yikes. That's going to be a total of eight. Of eight. How much health do you have right now?

19. 19. It does...

It does, slices in, and as soon as it hits you, you take four points of psychic damage. Ah, fuck! As it racks your brain, and you realize that there's a tether between you and this creature. No one attack that one! And I go to attack one of the spectral-- Okay, you do that. One of these guys. Spectral wigglers, therefore. I'll make two attacks against it.

The one actually that's right next to Sylvie. Are they Henry Winklers? They are. They're Henry Winklers. That's going to be a 16 and a 25. He's from Greece. Yeah, those are both it. Then I will see if I can catch this bad boy. Eight, re-roll it.

- Eight, re-roll it, seven. What did I say it was? Oh, I only have to move, see I'm like in the statue again. It doesn't work out very well, but I can technically move like if the statue's like 100 or whatever. - Yeah, the statue's like at the mouth, it's rising up. - Then I'll make one more attack against it. That's gonna be a 16 as well. - Okay.

What number is that? It's to number... Well, the first couple of decks were to number one. I'm going to probably obliterate this fucking thing. Yeah, number... It's looking rough, but it's still hanging on. No, no, no. I haven't said my damage yet. The bonus to it alone is 18. Okay. Plus, I'm like 35.

35 is just barely enough to kill it. Perfect. Then he's gone. Okay. Wow. You throw your axes, catch it, and it bursts as the axe is sliced through it. That's my turn. Okay, you're up. I'm gonna hit number three again. Okay. 20 and 21 to hit. Both hit. 17. 17. That kills it. You blast into it and it explodes into spectral energy.

Goodbye, Henry Wiggler. With that, it is Teemo's turn. I'm going to look at my spectral form and say, you and I are survivors, buddy. No one can kill us. And then I'm going to blow dart number seven. Okay. Draven tries to kill himself. Teemo tries to block himself. Let's see what happens with that freedom. 13. 13 misses. It docks out of the way. I am going to...

- Do I get the sense that it will try to attack me if I run away? - It doesn't seem to be actually moving. It's like eyes are wide. It's like, "Ahhh!" - It's fine.

- You seem good. - I'll run. I'm gonna just run back a little way over here and bonus action, chuck potion. - Okay, you do that. You chuck that potion. Braum, you're up. - I will look at the Braum mix of the potions.

and say, "They need our shields, let's go!" Not really registering that. I'm going to smash him recklessly. If I can always use these two. Twice.

So that is a, I think it's plus seven to hit. So that is a 19 and a, what number? 27. So it's, okay, perfect. And then I will do, which number is this? This is number five. Okay. And then I need this to be a four, five, six,

17 points of damage. - That's exactly what you needed as you bash, bash, and it pops. - And then just move me up 40 feet just to be like next to Lulu if I can get there. - Yeah, no problemo. You might do that. - We'll just leave, yeah, I'll just stay. - Okay, we're coming, you're up. - Okay, Draven, which one are you? - I'm the one with the fireball in his hand. - Okay.

Yeah, run base. Okay, so Rakan faces this way and looks at the things that are over there. He turns around and looks at Draven's spectral form for just a brief moment. No, please don't. And he turns around and casts his gleaming quill at, we'll say, this guy? Yes.

Eight. Eight. So because we've taken a short rest, I have my gleaming quill back. So, there's a ranged spell attack. Okay. That's a 14 to hit? 14 misses, unfortunately. Goddammit! Fuck! All right, well... Fuhrer, how are you doing?

I could use a bump. Well, I can't do anything about that. Dance and inspire you. Draven wants to party with Fiora. Draven is looking to also get a bump. You still have one. You feel his, uh, the sty and magic heal you. Fiora, you're up. Ignore Draven's bloody noise. You feel inspired by his dance. With no intention of metagame at all, do I understand the, uh...

of these tentacles. I feel like they, not at all excellent. Or do you mean like they're obviously a natural defense system? Like I haven't seen them move. Nope, they're just wriggling around, blasting and smacking at you. They're in physically moved positions. Yes, I see.

I'm gonna attack two from the rear. Trying to hit the vital point. That will miss the 12. This should be a dirty 20.

- Three, 20, all right. - Three's two is actually really good. - And then that'll be 17 points of magical piercing. - To number what? - Number two. - 17 points. - I've actually never seen that, I gotta watch it. - That you smash into it and it is dead. Is it still the musical? - Oh yeah. - I will move right here just to get behind this one. I'm not really doing that. - Draven is interested. - Do much else here and then I'll just use a bonus action to pluff a greater healing potion.

- So there is one there and so it's their turn. They're gonna wriggle around and smash down. I need Braum, Draven and Rakan to make a dexterity saving throw. - Dex you say?

That's gonna be... Have you raged, Rich? Yes. I got 22. Draven was too quick. 19. Perfection. 13. I got that. So this is half of this. This is... 32 and 13. 13 is not that effective. So 12 points of radiant damage. 12 points of radiant damage and 12 points of bludgeoning damage. Holy shit. Half of these are 24 total. Shit.

So 10 points. Holy fucking hell. I'm not dead. Okay. So it's 24 total. And then we're going to get two attacks on Fiora with the tentacles as they surround her. They're no longer restrained. Both of those are going to be a 19 and a 24. I will use my reaction to defensive duelist the 19 hit. Okay.

- That's my AC at 20 for just the hit. - So 13 is the one that hits you, smashes into you. Draven, you're up. - I'm actually gonna move next to Rakan. - You have three left. - So that's like 15 movement, give or take. And then I'm gonna make, I'm gonna start by making two attacks on number eight. - Okay. - That's gonna be a miss and one hit. - Okay. - I might be out of movement actually.

because I only have 15, three more squares. Oh no, I'm good, 'cause then I can go, boop, boop, boop, and catch the axe for one more attack. So I'll just do the first damage first. - On what? - On number eight, it'll be nine points of damage to number eight. - Okay, still holding on here.

Natural 20. Oh, wow. Gotta give it up. Gotta give it up. Are you hitting this guy? You're a Noxian, so you do an extra. Yep. Is this a Bissigai? No, no, number eight, the one with the baned one. So it's going to be 13 plus six is 19 points of damage. Oh, that's enough. Yeah. Exactly enough. Then I'll take my last attack and attack number six. That's going to be 21 to hit. Yep.

- Eight points of damage to number six. - Okay, with that, my turn. - Raph, Lulu, you're up. - I rolled four, now I'm 27. - I'm going to Glitter Lance at the one in front of Braum. - Number seven. - 16 and 27. - Go for it. - 17. - 17 points of damage? - Yeah. - To number what?

Seven, is it seven or six? I'm sorry, seven. Seven, okay. Also exactly what you needed. It blasts into it and it completely explodes into glitter and pink. Bye. One remains and that is, who's turn is it? Teemo, you're up. So I didn't move, so, oh. You threw that one. Yeah, I did. Son of a biscuit.

We all blow up with mushrooms. Awesome, not a quote. Not something that's said. Just to be clear. Oh, Steve, I know your brain. Awesome, not a quote. I like eggs.

- Not in a team raid. - It's looking very weak. - I don't want to blow up Draven. - What? It looks very weak. - So I don't want to blow up Draven. - Ha, you could never. - I don't think I can do anything. I'm just going to, um... - You can shoot it. - Why don't you shoot it? - Oh, I have reach. I'm thinking I have 15 feet. - You sure don't go too far. - You got plenty of mushroom. - Plenty, plenty, plenty. - There you go. - Oh yeah, that should be fine. Okay. - Why? - That's a thing.

Yes, yes. 24. That is double damage. Oh, it's 10. 10 damage. Exactly how you like to do this. Wow. Your pupils narrow, your eyes widen. Yeah. I would like you to tell me how that works. No, I got it. Okay. It's your...

I would like to crouch down and have my entire eye just go black for a minute and be like, and just fire a dart. It flies in and it pierces through, and as soon as the dart hits, it explodes. And quiet returns, the energy shrinks back and into the door, and then...

The door opens. We just had to hentai to get inside. What about our spectral people? Oh, they disappear as well, along with the rest of it. They kind of sloop back into you, and you feel like you're full, and you're full again. I'm going to slam a few potions. Yeah, you just start chugging potions. What are your greater healing? 44. 44 plus 4? 44 plus 4?

As the doors open, you see a relatively small chamber. I don't got it. With a sunroof where there's sun shining down. Dude, guys, I rolled three fours and a three. Holy fuck. Nice. It was like two seconds to push it. Does that hurt? Not to you. All right, I'm almost out of healing potions, but I'm good. A beam of sunlight.

shines down in this relatively small chamber up ahead. - Oh God, Mal'Gorod three, four ones. - And intricately crafted,

basin in the shape of a heart, but woven together with beautiful knotwork and forming into this beautiful statue filled with rubies and plated in gold. And at the center of this basin is what looks like water, but despite there being no wind in this chamber howling in or coming from the hole in the ceiling above,

The water in this basin is lashing about like waves on the sea and you see the wind whipping around on top. That was too easy. Muscle man, do the honors. Seems to be the heart of God. All right, I'll pull it out of my pants. Cool. Put this away, Braum. Not now. Hubba hubba. Are we ready?

I was born ready. I'll bite the cork off. And I will, so I understand that this is like what we do, right? Yeah. I will just... One drop. Perception check for me, please, while you walk up to it. Uh-oh, bye. Rip. That is a nine plus... I drew a turn on. It's a 14?

A 14. As you step forward, you uncork the rum, and what do you say? I say, "This will tell a great tale." And as you are going to do that, a flash of movement as a massive humanoid form lands into the basin, and you see a massive woman about the size of you

Her tan skin covered in tattoos slamming a massive golden circular idol into the basin as it bursts with green energy and shoots beams into all of you and everyone to make a wisdom saving throw at disadvantage. - Oh jeez. - Is it a magic? - It is. - You get plus three. - Thank God. - I got a 10. - You said wisdom? This is Draven's worst trait. I got a 10. - Oh, I got a 24.

19 still. Thank God. Breathing out. 13. 13? I'm going to die. 16. 16? Seven. Seven, Lula? 15. 15. All of you fail. Holy fuck. Even me? Even you. DC is 25. Oh, God. As the beams burst out and they all connect you and you are all paralyzed and restrained as your eyes fill with green energy.

as the tentacles all are bursting from this heart. And you see this woman with gold, what clothing she has is minimal. Her tattoos are all over her body. And you see her long, dark hair and her green eyes look at all of you and says, "You have come into the temple of Nagakeboros "under the guise of lies. "Do you not see this?

and you feel like you can barely struggle to speak. Here, let me show you what my God can show you and see where the lies of the River King would bring you. As something all of you see, vision, as you see a single drop of rum enter this pool.

as dark water taints it immediately and overflows it as it spills into the sea and spreads out across the archipelago of the Blue Flame Isles. As you all see individually then, the corruption of the hearts of men and women and children as they turn to avarice, to hunger, to their base desires. Lulu.

You see the end. You're successful. You shake the hand of the River King. He opens his mouth and you dive in. And in a burst, you are in the glade. It's beautiful. Everything that you remembered and imagined. And as the River King leaves, there's a single drop of that rum and it spreads and completely taints and pollutes the beauty and turns it to horrible darkness. Draven.

You see yourself. You shake the hand of the River King. You go on. You go back to Noxus. You get as much wealth and adoration as you can possibly imagine, but then it's not enough. As long as Darius still lives, you will always live in his shadow. Your axes cleave off your brother's head. As you see the...

What had to be done in order to get to the final mission. You deserve it. Braum, your story is told far and wide thanks to the power of the River King. And you spend your time. And how else will you become a hero of all of Runeterra unless you leave the Freljord? Leave it behind and travel the world. You do that. You become a great, renowned folk hero. Not just of the Freljord. You're the heart of Runeterra. But then you return home.

There was no one to protect it. It lies in waste, devoured by horrible monsters, marauding-- The poros. In the snow, there's blood. Poro corks as far as you can see. Jesus Christ. Like, too far. Take the rabbits of the world and say fuck it.

You get exactly what you want. You become the most ruthless killer. The most efficient, deadly killer in all of Runeterra. Your poise is the most potent. Your aim with your blowgun the most true. My darts never miss their mark. Your darts never miss their mark. You live in the shadows. And as you kill and you kill and you kill, you have to practice in order to get better. You almost becomes indiscriminate.

And then until one day, you finally feel it. This is the last target. You feel like this is it. You blow and you, it hits a yordle. Dead. And you go up to check the body. And it's your dear friend, your only friend, Tristana. Her eyes, her dead eyes stare skyward as you kill the only friend you ever had. Fiora. Fiora. Fiora.

You hear the whispers. The Lurking tells you exactly what you must do. You shake his hand. No one can spread rumors if they ain't living. You go back to Demacia and any single whisper, you get the power to hear every single bad word spoken. And finally, after years, you finally achieve it. Not a single bad word is spoken of the Laurent family. Laurent. Laurent family. But it's...

You realize your town is quiet. All of the nobility has been killed. Noxus would like to know your location. No one's left in the Empire of Ash. Zaya, you get exactly what you want. The means, it's not any time at all. You go back to Ioni, you find Zed, you have his head in front of you. You finally kill them, and you feel like no time had passed.

You look down as on top of Zed's corpse is a massive pile of bodies. Countless, countless, countless humans, some not innocent, some very innocent, that were in your way one way or another, lie slain at your feet. Wakanda, you wanted to help Zaya and protect her. She survives to her goal.

Once she achieves her goal, the bodies that have been left behind spawn countless others looking for revenge against her, similar to how she had sought revenge against Zed. It won't be long until, there it is, the blade at her back, your love dead in your arms. As the voice booms out, I respect all of you for following your desires to get here.

You have conquered beasts, you have conquered the sea to pursue your desires. The universe is brought forward towards its destiny only from intelligent creatures pursuing their desires. That is the will of Naga Keboros. But there is a better way, not through lies, not through the endless hunger, the deceit of a demon, but of a god

You all stand trial now, the test of Nalkeboros. What is it you desire? And what will you do when you achieve it? And you all feel compelled and you can finally speak. Lulu, you're up first. So I really would like a pony and I want new shoes because my nipple's in the box.

I would really like for Pix to have a pretty dress that matched mine and a large hat, but not larger than mine. And I want to go back to the Glade and everything to be beautiful there. And when I attain all of this, I'll ride my... Ooh, can it be a unicorn, not a pony? So it has a horn on its head. I'll ride my ponycorn into the Glade with Pix on my shoulder, whose hat is slightly larger than most people's hats, but not bigger than mine. And I will just make pretty things covered in glitter.

- Fizz. - Fizz. - As you think the word fizz, you glow a bright green and you hear the voice call out, "Yes!"

You are truly a creature of desire. Yeah. And you will stop at nothing. And now, Naga Keboros makes it so. Not the River King. Okay. Well, that's cool. You're up. I want money, fame, fortune. I need the cheer of the crowd. I have no desire for war. And my brother telling me I have to fight. No. What I truly want...

is not to be bored. The excitement from the battle, the sport. Everyone will know Draven's name. And they will, to the power of the mother serpent. As you alight green. Brom. I will go home. I don't need to be a hero of anywhere else. They call me the Heart of Freljord, and that's what I will be.

I will defend my home and defend every human, every bastion, every troll, and every poro as best I can. And I will tell a great tale once it is all said and done. A great tale it will make, and what you desire will be yours. Thanks to the bearded lady. You fill with energy. Timo. Well...

I want to be able to kill. That doesn't change. I want to be able to kill because I want to, not because I have to, to protect my friends. I want to stand strong and never be burdened by the deaths in my hands. Okay, give me my freedom from PTSD. Please, can I need medication and therapy? There's a little bit of a hesitation. And a little bit of hesitation, then you hear a voice. Men live and men die.

What is important is change. You will kill, and you will bring about the change that drives the universe, and you glow with green energy. Fiora? Fiora, you're up. I want to redeem my father's sacrifice for House Laurent. Once and for all, restore our family name and honor. I fought him on his dying day.

We said farewell in every clash of our blades. That is what I truly desire. You will redeem your family's name, but not through wants and slaughter, but through your deeds. It will be done by the great Kraken. You will light. Zaya, you're up. For generations, our people's magic has been stolen. I want it returned.

and our numbers to grow once again to the way they once were. - A noble goal, and one you have strived your entire life for. Naya Keboro sees it, and so do I. You glow green. Rakan, you're last. - I want our people to be protected, and my love to be at peace for Inizaya and her peace of mind with this

her, all that she has sought in the world and that it is no longer as necessarily required for her to be out in the world doing all of these things in order to protect our people and that she may just rest and that we may just spend time together instead of doing all of this on our own. You wait here.

A peaceful life does not mean one that is stagnant. You will have what you seek and your dedication will be rewarded. It is done.

And suddenly you were all released as you all, is it too late for Draven to want to be Mr. Fortune? As you all burst with green energy and you all feel as your body begins to glow as it snakes all around you. And almost as you see the huge woman standing in the basin of

before you. Her tattoos are glowing. Your skin glows in the same patterns as her tattoos, in the wriggling tentacles and patterns before shrinking back into not her, but you. You feel a sense of incredible power, incredible will, as if not only that you can achieve what you desire, but you will. You have been blessed by Naila K. Boros after standing trial."

and you all return to yourselves. You feel great. I feel so light. I don't know what overcame me. What overcame Brom? The heart of Freljord! The power of the River King is strong and gets stronger every day, especially in these lands. But you have all been noticed by Nagakaboros, and you will achieve your desires.

I am Illaoi, the priestess of the mother serpent. This is the eye of God. You have been blessed, and I now know that there are covetous eyes on this place. Dark powers. I thank you for alerting me to that. I need to rebuild this temple. Spend time here.

There wouldn't happen to be a Mr. Priestess of the, uh, wriggling tentacles. She steps off and she says, "I would break you, dear man." But she then looks at Rom. You, on the other hand, a man that won't break. Damn it! Some milk, Leethan? Oh my god.

Another time, another time I must stay here. I spent too much time with the ungrateful in Bilgewater. I must focus on rebuilding this temple and protecting the heart of God. And I need to go home. You all need to go home. And you will. I will call for you a... a Kraken Worm.

It is a spiritual beast of Nagaké Boros. It will take you back to Bilgewater, and you all may go on your way. Can I get a name? You may. Kraken Dice by Norse Foundry. You will forever be known as the Kraken, named Dice by Norse Foundry. Being worthy of respect is worthy of many great names. Thanks.

And she steps and guides you out. And as you make your way to the beach, leaving the temple behind, all feeling blessed by Nagake Boros, you see a massive creature rise out of the tides. It is a five-eyed serpent, sea serpent of some kind, with a beard of sorts, of four tentacles, wriggling around as it leans down to allow you all to mount.

This is your passage home. It will take you safely. I wish you all the success in achieving your desires, but I do not need to wish it. I know it will come to pass. Thank you. I'll hop on the creature. Thank you. Take heart, and goodbye.

And I'll jump on. It was a pleasure to meet you. Goodbye. Come on, Kraken dice. Bye, Norse foundry. I just bow and then get out of the Kraken. Yeah, Rakan does like a little bit of a flourish of a bow and then follows Zaya onto the back of the creature. You all hop on as I choose music.

- Can we get a counter for how many times Andy's had to hold back his beard? - It's been like 10,000. - That's a mustache. - I just wanna do a super cut of every time Andy's gone and giggled. - So, feeling an indescribable sense of passion and drive

as wild as the sea and the wind. You all mount the colossal Kraken Worm, which accepts you with no question, as you're all blessed by Nagake Boros.

You arrive back to the docks of Bilgewater. Before we go to the docks of Bilgewater, I just shove Draven off the Kraken. Good luck. As hard as I can. I have saved my ultimate and I use Whirling Death on Zaya. I have used none of my abilities the entire time. Let's go, Ian.

They fight the entire time, and the strange sense of being connected to the Kraken Worm, no matter how many blows they strike to each other, they cannot kill each other. Tee fight, tee fight, tee fight. Tactics. As you arrive back to the docks of Bilgewater, the awestruck dock workers can do nothing but stare in amazement as the creature drops you off and slinks back into the depths.

- Knowing that by the next day, you'd all be parting ways, you decide to stay in a nearby tavern for the night before heading home in your respective ships in the morning. - That was really disappointing. With a name like Dice, you'd think you'd be made of dice, but there was no dice in that thing at all! - You gave it that name. - I know. For a reason. I wanted some dice. - I do have dragon chest if you wanted me to teach you something. - They have ice?

Anyway, you spend the evening drinking rum, telling stories, and sharing a single night as kindred spirits bound by the mother serpent despite having been called together by the lines of the River King, truly the most unlikely band of at least temporary allies.

The next morning you say your last goodbyes to each other and your ships leave village water behind as they make their way back to Ionia, Zaun, Freljord, Noxus, Demacia, Bandle City and beyond. As the Serpent Isle will disappear behind you, you all stare out to the horizon, ready and now able to achieve your highest ambitions. After all, the universe only moves forward towards its destiny when living creatures chase their desires.

But that's not where the story ends, boys and girls. Now my special brew of rum may not have been mixed with the essence of a god to create a potent cocktail that would surely shock and delight the senses and the soul, but like any intelligent diner,

prepared for an understocked kitchen at their favorite establishment, one must always prepare to order their second choice. And sometimes you even get surprised by just how delicious and delectable that second choice is. And you forget why it wasn't your first. And so,

as those seven travelers left our sanctuary of sin in their tailwinds. Life continues, as it often does, but with new ambitions and even newer opportunities. With the troublesome titan sleeping, slumbering in those dark depths, lost of time and even death, and that repugnant rat Scallion off to find his kin, the waters of the Isles were now open to even the most avaricious.

And it all flows down like rivers into the sea. So it wasn't long until then, more than ever, business was greed and business was good. And with her holiness secluded in that far off temple, there were no more saints trying to tell the sinners how to aim their wants and how to go about it.

What's left, you ask? Why, a welcoming salt, a friendly smile, and a readable bargain with a paltry price. And best of all is the ruby-haired ruler of the sea scum of Runeterra, her quest no longer completed.

The vengeance in her heart burned brighter than the sun in summertime. And so one night when she was extracting some information she thought might be relevant to the location of Bilgewater's disposed despot from a tight-lipped gang member, it was through the screams of agony that are quite inevitable when Blade comes to bone that Miss Sarah Fortune heard a gentlemanly knock at her door.

putting aside her tools and vexed by the lateness of the hour, she opened the door to reprimand her subordinate for disturbing her while she was hard at work. But it was no subordinate, for what is a captain to a king or a demon?

The quintessentially dapper and devilishly handsome creature tipped his hat and bore her a splendiferous smile that twinkled like a young sailor's first-girl gold kraken and said, "The road to vengeance requires a journey I would happily provide." And what happens next, you're all clamoring to know? Well, that's another story for another time. But I'm sure you all learned the moral of this one.

Dark and powerful magics of all kind permeate this fantastical world we all call home. But it is the heart from which the darkest water flows. And there ain't no shortage of hearts with desires ready to consume and devour their owners. All it takes is a little push in the right direction. I may have lost the battle in the short term. After all, what is a king or a demon to a god?

But for every champion or hero that wants to chase their desires the right way, there's a thousand fools, fools willing to hear my song and eager to let me in. And that is where we'll end the session. Nice job, Mike. Nice job, Mike. Nice job, buddy. That was great. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avengers podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session.

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