Edge of Midnight | Ep. 8 | Gathered for the Feast
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I am Sir Marius Renethia and you're listening to Edge of Midnight. Here's what happened last time. What would you do if six people ran out of the woods at you while you were at your home? Well, she and maybe others were working on some sort of ruin and we have found symbols of Mother Midnight. You are able to easily and undisturbed make your way through the forest.

No trial's fair. Do you have Keziah Jenkins? I was at the Mirabelle house today, in their master bedroom, in their armoire, and I found this thing. And he reaches into his pocket and he pulls out what is very clearly a witch bomb. We've had a confession. Mother Midnight has been captured.

Her trial will begin tomorrow. This is so fucked up. This is about to get so dark. There is a manipulation happening. I rule guilty, but with mercy. You all turn your gaze skyward, and above you, where once had been the face of a leering hag, is now a large but plain full moon. Just like that, the full moon, a druskin ball, lost its toothy grin.

Bent nose and evil eyes And for the first time in a long, long while The people of Fullsense will breathe again And live without spending every waking hour Wondering, guessing, assuming This would be the day That the witchcraft would finally get 'em But not this night

This is a night for celebrating, for dancing, for eating, for drinking, for all manner of debauchery. Some might even call it a night for sin. The gasps of terror from the ceruleans around you turn to silence as all eyes stare transfixed on the faceless moon.

The only sounds that break the silence are the hiss and pop of burning flesh. The scent of cooked meat hangs heavy on the air, and your stomach's grown in hunger against your will. And then the silence is swallowed by roars of jubilation.

The city, still looking upward to the milky white full moon hanging overhead, now flanked by the crescent moon as it arcs through the sky. Men, women, and children cheer, cry tears of joy, embrace, and even fall to their knees and pray, all giving their thanks to Foltus and his one true path. However, one final slam and bellow from Hugo silences the crowd once more as Archbishop Renault speaks to his flock.

Foltis has blessed us this night with the destruction of the Coven of the Midnight Moon. It is through your diligent prayer and adherence to the One True Path that has allowed our province to finally be freed from the wickedness of Mother Midnight and her daughters. We shall all reap the rewards of our piety, and tonight you may celebrate.

Take this one evening to be merry, for tomorrow the real work begins. May Foltus's blinding light guide your way on the one true path.

The throng of townsfolk erupts once more into jubilant cheers despite the stench of burning flesh that hangs heavy over the crowd. You watch as Archbishop Renault and the rest of his clergy turn and enter the cathedral. High Inquisitor Mayville and her inquisitors step down from the stage and make their way to the jail. Soon, the church's laborers get to work to put out the fire and pull the charred bodies from the smoldering wood. Joy has returned to Cyril.

You now stand in the midst of the city center of Cyril. All around you is jubilation. People darting this way and that. Cries and hollering of happiness, not sadness. What do you think? That was easy. Barely an inconvenience. But if I'm being completely honest, Rixie, I don't believe it. How could this actually be?

I agree with you. It seems as if it was just too easy. Gosh, this is the greatest day of my entire life. We're genuine heroes and we save the day like in all the stories. Isn't that great? Yeah, that's great. I mean, clearly she was Mother Midnight. I mean, you saw what happened. I am very, like, fixated on this food and I'm, like, squinting at it because I'm just, like...

I'm just embarrassed. This is a disbelief. For someone with enough power to change the moon, she didn't put up much of a fight. Like somebody said, I mean, maybe she's not too good hand-to-hand. When we caught her on the ways, she wasn't expecting it. We are technically genuine witch hunters. That's what Lord Druskin Hall said at least.

when i look at the moon does it look like the moon i would have been familiar with on in a non-red domain does it still look altered in comparison it is definitely not the same moon um it

I would say you can easily tell that both of these moons are not the moons of a Vantress. They look similar. This moon now no longer carrying with it the visage of a hag. You can see it's actually very similar to the other moon that has been traversing the sky back and forth every day that you've been here, but they're clearly not the same moon.

Do we know what time it is, roughly? What time the execution? It was just after evening. It was just after evening. Okay.

- Hey, well done. - Look at you, it's like you've been looking at your Druskinvold time. - This is supposed to be suspenders, not giant boobies. - Shucks. - Darn, I was hoping for the boobies. - I'm just staring up at the moon, silent listening to my companions talk about what a shocking turn of events this is and try to memorize its face and get a sense of it.

Well, so I guess now we've succeeded, we see what happens next. Hopefully, the children, the townsfolk, and the blinds all vanish. At least we can collect our prize. Our rewards! Should we go to the orphanage and see if the kids are better? That's certainly a start. Well, we could do that. Should we also try to find where the mere bells got off to?

I've been a little concerned that they weren't missing so early in the morning. Yes, I agree. Hopefully now that this has been taken care of, they're no longer in any immediate danger. It is late. I would propose we go to the orphanage in the closest thing that this place has to a mourning, if you would agree, Lord Ripley.

- Driving in a rush. - Well, isn't it like early, isn't evening like early evening? We got all night. It's party time. - Evening is evening. - And as Jericho says that you look around and it does indeed appear to be party time.

You notice that. It's party time. Party time. It's like I'm standing in a room with a cheat. Jericho sings the entire party time song from the animated Titanic film. But I'm rapping to all the songs. Yikes.

I wish I had any fucking idea what you meant. Please tell me that's not actually a meme. That is literally Walter White meme. What the fuck are you talking about? I wish I knew everything. Do whatever you just referenced. Anyway. I don't feel like going to an orphanage at like 7pm. Thank you. As you look around, you see that in fact with the Archbishop having...

having made his way back into the cathedral behind you, and with the take down of these pyres as it's being cleared away by the people seemingly responsible for it, you see that

The rest of the people in this town seem to be celebrating. They are openly having drinks in the city center. You see that the guards have put down their swords and shields and are chatting and flirting. And you see that there is an air of relief and relax about the city that you had not felt before.

You also notice...actually roll a perception check. Ooh! Ooh! Prescription. I failed. Ah, natty 20. Let's go. Mike has magic dice. Magic Mike, if you will. I got 24. 17. I have a dirty 20. Bam! 23.

All right. Everybody but apparently Jericho. You're able to, you look around and you see that the sense of fear that the townsfolk had about you has almost completely vanished. You see children that are walking the streets with their families pointing at you and calling you the saviors of Cyril.

You see families huddled together and you overhear a bit of it where they're asking, "Well, should we invite them in? Should we give them... Well, we should feed them. We should give them something. We should thank them." People, their attitude towards you has completely flipped on its head. And under the din of happiness and hope, there is one bit of suspicion and hatred

You feel it just on the back of your neck as if somebody or something is watching you. Hairs spike up a little bit. As most of you turn to notice that standing in an alleyway surrounded by what appears to be a gaggle of doting followers, leaning up against one of the walls with a look of frustration and hatred on his face is none other than William Van Brunt.

as he eyes all of you up and down with a scowl of disgust on his face. As you turn to look at him, he does not look away. He watches the group of devoted followers around him, especially his chubbier, shorter crony moves in around him, almost guarding him from you. He stands up, he pushes his way towards the front. He looks at each of you directly.

and your Grimm. When he makes eye contact with you, I stammer in his damn eyes. You watch as he spits on the ground. He cracks his knuckles and he turns and walks away into the shadows. His cronies following behind him. How many cronies? I would be ready to like, hold me back, hold me back, your Grimm. I would be ready to like, try to keep him from doing anything stupid.

Like, just 20. Like, just 20? Yes. Fucking hate that guy. Alright, Billy, walk away! That's right!

Who's getting a reward? We are! Gentlemen, please. That man. Roll a... Oh no! Roll a... A provocation. Intimidation. Intimidation, thank you. How wide is the alleyway? I bet it's a person in there. It could fit another house in it. Like, these are quite large alleyways. I really want to get into a room wall. Fifteen.

You... Let me roll to see if that's going to happen. Okay. You hear...

The volume in this town has exploded from what it had been, the amount of laughter. There are songs you see far off down the main street towards Samuel Good's Inn. You see that light is spilling out onto the streets and the sounds of laughter and song are just echoing through the streets. And so it's hard to hear, but you imagine carried on the wind

that you hear William Van Brunt's voice, but it's not directed at you. He said something to his cronies. They all erupt in laughter as he just completely ignores you and continues to walk. - Gentlemen, please, it would not be pious for us to beat him in the street like he deserves. That man someday will receive justice. They always do. - For being a not nice feller?

Mostly a coward. What kind of justice do cowards give? Marius? Swift justice. Harsh. That has not been my experience. Am I gonna give swift justice? Feel your coward. Well, I mean, Virgil says that every day, every hour it seems. Let me ask you a question. Does a coward defeat a hag? Oh, well, no, I guess not. I mean, maybe they could, I don't know.

I think maybe it might do you well to not listen to that bird so often. I think he just crossed and I'm gonna get the Amber King. Ah! Get away from me, Virgil! You're not gonna have no more power over me! And he continues to assault me. We need to, like, rig, like, a raven on the swing up here that just, like, like one of those bats. We need, like, to control the swing raven. Yeah, the swing bird. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Um, uh, well... We think we better be watching out for that one this evening. He had a look in his eye like he was looking for trouble. If it comes to that, then we'll deal with it. Yes, he will find trouble if he comes to look for it. But... I believe he will. Justice is not guaranteed. It is a party after all. I believe justice is guaranteed if you deliver it yourself. On that point, we agree. You hear the sounds of heavy footfalls coming up behind you. The sound of...

heavy plate boots on the cobblestone foundations that you stand upon as you turn to look at what appears to be a Knights Templar.

But he's older than the ones that you would normally see. Not by much, but there's an air of importance to him as he walks up to you. And as he does, you begin to see that his colors are a little bit brighter and his armor is a little more intricate. As he makes his way directly towards you and stands to attention. Good evening. Knights Tempoha. Mako. Mako Voldo.

Good evening. I have an important message from the Archbishop. You are to dine with him this evening in celebration for what has happened to this day. Do, um, the Knights Templar, are they referred to as Sir? So would Sir Volo be the formal way to approach Marco? Sir Volo, it is a pleasure to meet you. Voldo, V-O-L-O. Isn't it a first name? It's not Marco Polo. It's Sir Marius, so it'd be Sir Marco. Volo. Yeah, you could say Sir Marco. Isn't that how the Knights use their first name?

A pleasure to meet you, Sir Voldo. I thank you for the invitation. He, as part of his face, smirks up a little bit, and he looks at you. I'm simply doing my duty to deliver the message to you. I can't begin to thank you enough for what you have done in this town. And I need you all to roll a perception check for me. Ooh. 10. Not good this time. 21.

23. No, 22. Give me an 11. No, a 13. I'm just gonna believe. Rip? Four. Anyone who rolled a 10 or above, you are able to see that though he thanks you, the smile does not fully reach his eyes at these words as he continues to say...

We are thankful for what you've done here. Clearly, the killing of the witch and her... He kind of looks out, almost a sense of sadness on his face. Those that were assisting her has clearly cleansed this city of the wickedness and filth that enshrouded it. Well, nonetheless, we thank you for what you've done. That does indeed appear to be the case. He looks up to the hag moon and

nods at all of you. I would deliver you to dinner at your earliest convenience. We can make our way there now if that's what's required. It's quite an honor, Sir Marco, to dine with the Archbishop. I'm sure... How often does he dine with just us common folk? You see as he kind of

As you begin to talk to him, he kind of, that stiff demeanor that he'd had as he walks up, you see he kind of relaxes a little bit. He puts his shield down up against the fountain, he places his sword down next to it.

loosens his belt a little bit to kind of relieve the tension that his plate armor is putting on his form, his muscular form. You can tell he's a very strong man beneath all of that plate that he wears. He's probably been doing this for most of his life. As he walks towards you and he places his hand on your shoulder, well, Jericho...

This is the first in my time that I've seen the Archbishop invite anyone that wasn't part of his family or the High Inquisitor or anyone of real importance in this town to dine with him. So I would say you can consider it an honor. Truly. Oh gosh, I do. And for your time as well. I myself have never had the opportunity. So when we meet again, when I come back from the mines, you'll have to tell me about it.

Mines? Why are you going there? Well, I'm not quite happy to be heading out there tonight, but myself, along with a small group of the Knights Templar, have been sent by the Archbishop himself, some of the highest ranking of the Knights Templar. You see, those mines shut down many, many years ago, and with Cyril on the rise and on the mend, with the witch problem resolved, I'm sure...

I'm sure the Druskin walls will be visiting any time now. The Archbishop believes that this is a good time to get the mines reopened. What, now? As soon as possible. The sooner we can get the barricades cleared away, the sooner the good folk of Cyril can have work, can feed their families.

It's a gold mine. There's emerald opportunities for many, many of the families of Cyril in that place. Gold mine? Yes. Oh, Sir Marius was just telling me about mine goblins. You better be careful. Well, I myself have never seen a goblin in the mines, to be quite frank. I don't think I've seen a goblin in all of Thorlson's, but it's possible, given how long the mines have been closed off, that...

There can be all manners of horrible things in there, so the Knights Templar and I will move the barricades, we'll check throughout the tunnels, make sure everything's safe, and at some point tomorrow we'll... we should return by morning. What if it's not safe? Or by early dusk. I'm sorry? What if it's not safe? Well, that's why he's sending me. As the captain of the guard, there's no one better to go.

The knights Tenma were taking are the best of our men. Well, now that the witch problem has been dealt with, there's just the normal things in the Beastwood, which I'm sure you and your men are more than capable of dealing with. Absolutely. It will be a long night, but nothing I'm...

much afraid of. Well, we just came back from that way towards the mine and we got a real spooky feeling. So if you are fixing to go, then maybe bring an extra dozen or so knights, just in case. He smiles at you. He reaches out and he clasps your hand. You've got a kind soul on you, Jericho, I can tell.

- Gosh, I don't know if even I even have a soul at all, but I appreciate your mighty kind words. - If you've got one, there's a kind, I'm just being fair now. I can't say it. It basically says, if you've got one, there's a kind one in there. If I keep pressing it-- - Oh, you're right, you're too kind, sir. You're too kind. - That sympathetic accent that just starts coming out. - So here's the thing, I mean, there might still be other hags around, so just be careful. I mean, if you take like 20 good men, you should be fine.

If there were to be a hag around or something, which I highly doubt, Mother Midnight gave us, confirmed the names of all 20 of the accused. She confirmed. If there were anyone left, I imagine that...

myself and the knights would be able to handle it. You see as he reaches up, and he has a very dark mustache. It's almost equates to a nice tombstone-y style mustache that hangs down. You can tell he takes very good care of it as he strokes it and thots for a little bit. I'll keep your warning today in mind. But I think that we should be fine. Please be careful.

Captain Voldo. Yes? You were there when Mother Midnight confirmed these names? Myself, no. But I trust the High Inquisitor. Thank you. Are you sure you wouldn't benefit from a few more hands? If... if you're... Fuck! Why do you have to keep talking to me? You will play... D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D

You're covered in fungus, shut up! Text me your further questions. I have a job to do, I'm going to the mines, fuck you! Yes, what was your question but say it as Kalfi?

Are you sure you wouldn't like a few more hands? That was really good. God, that sounded just like me. Oh my gosh, she's sick. Like, oh my god. The hags have got her. I don't know, I can't do that accent when I'm trying, but when I'm trying to do it everyone, it sure does want to start happening. He turns to you and well, I appreciate, I truly do appreciate your concern, but

I can't take you away from the dinner with Yosh Bishop. I would never be forgiven. It would be the utmost... Dishonor. Yes, thank you. However, if we require additional help, if whatever we find this evening is more than we can handle, we will be back in the morning to early dusk. And if tomorrow brings you...

No pressing matters to deal with. We would love to have your help. We could meet up in the square at sunrise. Or moonrise. Assuming that there are not so many courses during this dinner that would prevent us from doing so, I would happily meet you here in the square at sunrise for this purpose.

Well, you won't be having dinner all evening, but you will need to sleep. Yes, I was trying to make a joke. Oh, yes, well, great. Oh, do you think there's going to be that much food? No, it's just a joke. Have you and your troops cleared the mines before the regiments of wolves? Well...

It was... I led the mission to close up the mine. Many, many years ago. Since then, we've tried not to go out that way. Missions we've sent out, well, as you know, we were dealing with Mother Midnight. Those troops did not return. But with Mother Midnight gone, it's not a fear that we have.

Well, keep an eye out for those pigeons. Oi, blimey. Wait, Briggsie, what are you... Are you alright, Briggsie? My god, the rams have them all! I don't know what you mean. Blimey. Well, I think what my friend Briggsie is trying to say is a strange alien's tongue. I cast inflict wounds at second level. Keep an eye out for pigeons. It's gonna sound awfully, uh, strange...

But just keep an eye out for pigeons and just, if you got some men that are good with a crossbow or a bow, just, you know, clink them down. We will do just that. They make good eats. Pigeons are present all over Cyril. If one's in the woods, no one knows. If we see them in the woods, we'll be extra cautious with the pigeons. But he looks between all the others. An extra man. Twenty good men. They can solve anything. If the witch threat has truly been quelled,

I mean it when I say we cannot thank you enough. This city has dealt with its fair share, and I look forward to a day when my family and I can live each day without fear. Well, glad we could help you. When are you set to leave with your mother?

The moment I've delivered... Well, when are you set to leave with your men? You are fine. This is my problem. I'm going to play me, but dub it. What? What are you leaving? Believe it. The moment I drop you off with the Archbishop, then I'll be able to go. What is happening?

Karate! Karate! I don't know what it is! I can't do that accent on my arm! They're close. There's just something that's happening right now. The moment I've delivered you for dinner is when I will rally my men. You will head back to town. All right, well, I think we best get going then. Let's not keep him waiting if he never does this. No. I agree. No sense in delay. You better have bacon.

What kind of aside? The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave. I mean, oh, I might enjoy a nice long evening feast. Dinner with my companions. I mean, take the opportunity. I mean, I just really fall into fantasy. I can't really taste anything and I don't have to. But I mean, if he never has this, it's going to be nice. I mean, maybe.

But I think it's gonna be nice. So... I'm sure the food is gonna be delightful. I'm more concerned about the company. Well, we can try to ask questions and information if we need to, but I mean, I'm convinced. The moon's gone. If the moon didn't change, then I'd be like, "Okay, was that really her?" To your point, it's kind of my thought as much as I just cannot believe it. The evidence is right there staring me in the face.

So I must draw the conclusion that you've done something. We have any hesitations left? There's no better place to get answers. And a hot meal. Well, I hope for our sake that you truly did bring back Mother Midnight. He's standing right there. It's a whisper. Yeah, I said a sigh. What I can say is, though I believe, when he looks up at the moon, that what you did was right.

does not sit well on my heart to see so many ceruleans burn. Did you know any of them? Of course I did! Of course I did! Don't let me get you to dinner! Yes, I knew every single one of the people I've grown up with. Friends. Cyril is not large. It isn't compared to many of the provincial towns that you'll see in Fulcint. It's still small to us.

And every life lost is a scar on our souls that will never truly heal. Well, I'm very sorry that your friends were witches. I never would have known. All of them were good people. You never know who to suspect. I guess that's what we've learned in this horrid adventure. You never know who you can trust. And that is the path that I'm choosing. That is the path that I'm choosing. To believe that Mother Midnight truly has gone.

And that they were, as witches will be, good at playing tricks. And he just got one overall. That is how I will wake up in the morning. I'll walk up and I'll pat him on the back. He will. He'll pat you on the back. Uh, so, uh, dinner? Yes. I should, I should take you to the cathedral. That's the first thing. And he reaches down, he grabs his, he grabs a shield and throws it onto his back. He grabs his sword, he holsters it, tightens his belt.

and he turns and leads you towards the cathedral. As you make it up the steps, the Knights Templar that flank the sides will wrench open the doors and allow you entrance. This is the first time you've been inside of the cathedral, any part of it. And it is, it feels so much larger inside than it looked outside.

Everything inside is completely pristine. All of the wood, freshly waxed and oiled. The scent of candles and smoke, almost intoxicating. The incense burning towards the back. The altar has a beautiful, thick,

blue velvet cloth with silver embroidery the symbol of Fultons. You see statues of saints and alcoves, tons of religious iconography and symbology everywhere that you look and all of it is rich and beautiful.

As you slowly make your way through, Marco does not say anything additional, almost in reference to this place that you're in. As he leads you towards the back, a large wooden door at the very back of the cathedral, arched into a peak. He opens the door and ushers you in. You make your way through room after room at the back of this cathedral, and slowly up a winding stairwell, until finally...

He leads you to a large double door that is completely gilded in silver and blue. Well, this is where I'm going to leave you now. I hope you have a lovely evening. I thank you again. And, as I've said, if you have no pressing matters tomorrow, and you would like to talk about what has happened with us at the Maran, I would love to meet up with you at the town center in the morning. Captain Volto, my sincere sympathies.

And he...

Reaches down, he grabs a metal keychain at his waist, and he pulls out a large, opulent key, inserts it into the lock, and unlocks the door. When you're ready, enjoy your night. And he turns and just as quickly descends down the stairwell and leaves you in this large entry room. You know that beyond these doors lies your dinner with the Archbishop. There's no point in waiting. This is a very dangerous time.

This is the time between when we have done what we needed to do for Mother Midnight, but also before we have gotten our rewards. We must still tread carefully, so I would ask each of you to watch what we say in front of the Archbishop.

I think that's wise advice. I'm certainly not going to be rude. At least I wasn't planning on it. No, but let us not forget that this was a man who burned 21 people. In its end, we're guilty of it. My voice will get a little lower, and I'll say, uh, I'll be dead quietly. I do agree that this could be dangerous. It's not how I would have handled things, but we've done good. We're heroes. Is that not how trials normally go?

I mean, that's a good point. Philip's done good with prizes. So, I mean, I'm with you. I don't even think about that. Is that if we fuck it up now somehow, man, like, oh, just kidding.

Thanks for doing a job, but for some reason, something you said, I don't like you now, and you don't get your thing. No. I mean, Philip seems to be a man of his word. I don't see him backing out at this point. I also agree with you very much. Should he offer to make another deal, or offer some sort of additional task, I would say that we deny that and go to Philip. We certainly don't owe him anything. I agree with you there.

If there are people to help, I wouldn't say no. Always aid and all that. Let's just go enjoy dinner. It's the worst that could happen. That's a great point, Shemarius. Staying positive or whatever it is that you say. That's exactly right. And enjoy a nice meal amongst friends.

After being genuine heroes, and I- Oh, you could hear all those folk out there, if I can hear them through the church, but they're cheering and celebrating. This is the happiest I've seen them, downtrodden hungry folk. And since we got here, I think we should take some time to at least appreciate that there's a little bit of happiness and a little bit of joy in this town. That's right. And we will be careful. There's no reason not to be. Always be on our guard. Let's just see what there is for dinner. How about that?

And I believed the wind. No, I couldn't eat. Bacon, let's see. I would open the door. You open the door and you're immediately overwhelmed with the smells of food. Roast goose, stuffed duck, heaping piles of roast rosemary and thyme potatoes, pots filled with gravies.

A large ham with a ripe apple in its mouth. And at first, this is almost hard to see with the almost blinding light of chandelier after chandelier hanging from the ceiling. This room is the most lavish room any of you have probably seen in your entire lives. The walls are draped with fine velvets and silks. The table is...

longer than you possibly could have imagined and almost every single square inch of it is topped with foods. There are puddings and cakes, there are side dishes of any kind you could possibly imagine. Any type of food that you could have wanted to eat is now laid available on this table. And at the very head of it, sitting in a large ornate chair, in a

In a similar robe to the one that you had seen him wearing, but no longer with his large hat atop his head, is the Archbishop. And you see that in front of him is not just one plate, but four.

piled high with food as he eats and shovels food into his mouth, licking the sauces and the bits from his fingers. And as you come in, his mouth is full as he looks up and raises his hand without even thinking to swallow. His mouth completely filled to the brim with food. He calls out to you.

Please take a seat and enjoy what I have provided for us this evening, for we are to dine and celebrate the downfall of Mother Midnight. I immediately pick a seat that's the farthest away from this possible. Does he sound like that, or does he sound like- He sounds like himself, okay? I'm trying here. No, no, no, I mean, does he sound like his mouth is full of food? Oh, yeah, of course, I'm just not-

- What you see in this room is simply this table, the three chairs on either side as close to him as possible.

him at the head of it. And then off in one corner, you do actually see there's a significantly larger table with an incredibly large chair that's made of an older wood. Parts of it rotting. It doesn't look like it's nearly in a pristine condition as this one is. Occasionally you see

The doors off to the side, there are one on either end. You'll see quickly what appear to be a Knights Templar, but of a much lower rank, not nearly adorned as the Knights Templar you're used to seeing, who rush in with trays, platters of food, and replace ones that have been partially eaten, not completely eaten.

But very clearly, the Archbishop's plate shall never be empty. Is there also a small hobbit singing a forlorn song during a massage where these horses churn? Well, and that's where we'll end the session. The name of that song also being Edge of Night. Is it really? Oh, yeah! It's all coming together. Oh, yeah.

Well, we've discovered your long-term-- Also known as Pippin's side. Well, I would like to sit down as close to him as possibly we can on his left side, if I could. You're easily able to do that. I'd rest my shovel up against the dinner table and just look over at him and sit down and the chair would probably kind of groan under my figure, as this one always does.

And, you know, I'd say, well, you know how to put out a meal. I'll sit down across from your room. And I appreciate, because I can only hear out of this ear, the fact that I'm facing the Archbishop to right.

I would start ravenously eating with my hands, not in any kind of sense of decorum. Bits of food in my beard. And he doesn't seem to even think twice about it as he responds to you. Yes, yes, yes. I have to find his low voice. Yes, we have much to celebrate this night.

Lord Philip Druskinvold will be so impressed and Cyril will have much renown for being the city, the province, to rid all of Druskinvold of Mother Midnight and her daughters. It is a wonderful time to be a Cyrillian. Remind me, Archbishop Renaud, for how long did...

For how long was it cursed with Mother Midnight's face? For hundreds of years. As long as I can remember. But no longer will her visage remain intact on the brilliant milk light of the moon. And that is thanks to you. And that is why I allow you to dine with me.

I'll go up to the table and probably like the second farthest away from the seat. And I'll lay my staff, you know, against the back of it and sit down kind of stiffly and grab like, I don't know, the potatoes. There's a really nice, what appears to be a mushroom and cream souffle. Okay.

that you might enjoy. I'll pass right on over that and grab a roasted sprig of rosemary that's probably a garnish and just kind of gnaw on the stem of it. Perfect. Love that. There are many. I would say there are bits of clove, tons of whole cloves of garlic, so you could just pick one up and start eating that. Many things that you could, within your character, eat.

Lord Philip, when will he be joining? My hope is that he will be joining us at early dusk. Yeah. But it is truly up to Sir Philip when he will arrive, but I've already sent word that Mother Midnight has been disposed of, and he will see that her image has vanished from the moon. I imagine he will be here the moment he can. And what that means for us is...

that I will have a place of honor at the Masquerade. No doubt. You will all be there, of course. Yes, we received our invitations when we were first invited to this place. So he's been notified already, though. He knows what we did. I have sent word. But when he looks at the moon, he will know. You're not worried you're going to be known for housing the witch for centuries? All of Druskinvald

I think he said that she lived in Cyril.

In a house in Folsom. Folsom's the province, Cyril's the city. Unless she did live in Cyril. She lived in Cyril. Oh, God, she did! Yeah, she literally had a house in Cyril. I was just thinking of the hut in the woods! Oh, dear. I begin cutting... You watch as the Archbishop...

As he reaches down and he grabs his goblet of wine and it is filled to the brim as he chugs back every last drop of it and sets it down. He reaches down and he picks up a delicate purple and pink pastry cake

and pops it into his mouth and begins to eat it. His mouth completely open as he chews. Is this like one we've seen before? No, it is not a dream pastry. Oh, okay. You can clearly see, I would think Marie Antoinette in her glorious pastries. Okay. On top of, yes, on top of platters. As he eats this while he stares at you,

Anyone who has been in Druskinvald long enough knows that Mother Midnight has homes in every province. Where she chooses to stay is at her whim. I will forgive you that outburst, as you are new to the lands. But do not forget whose home you are a guest in. I haven't forgotten. It's good ham. Could you pass me one of those? Little pink ones?

He looks up and he claps his hands and you watch as a Knights Templar, who appears to be probably maybe a 13 year old boy, clearly in more of a page sort of rank, looks disheveled and nervous as he rushes over and he whispers in the Archbishop's ear, "He would like a pastry, provide him. Do not make me ask twice."

And he will reach over directly in front of the Archbishop, grab a couple of pastries and put them on a small porcelain tray and quickly deliver them to you. Oh, you didn't have to do that. I mean, I could have gotten up and grabbed them. I'm sorry, but thank you anyway. I'll take pastries off the floor and I'll... Presuming that's... Tonight is a night of celebration.

Yeah, I can be canon. Thank you. Well, I'm very, very happy to be celebrating. I would like to ask you, Archbishop, sitting here, seeing how eating food is particularly new to me, what would you recommend at this fine spread that you've provided for us? What's your favorite? There is nothing on this table that...

Whoa.

You like, uh... And you see that as he looks over the table, his eyes linger on the platters of sweets. And you see, for just a moment, his eyes ignite with what almost looks like lust for the sweets on the table. This guy's a sick pervert. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. Well, uh, I guess I'll just enjoy a jelly donut.

Uh, I guess I'll top that with foie gras. The blue one there with the sprinkles is a divine caramel filling that... Just try that one. Oh, is this... Are these crabs from the lake? But eat it slowly. Oh, I'll cast some cake and I'll grab some crab meat. I don't think you can eat slowly.

I'm sorry, what have you said?

Oh, my old pal Virgil, he's the weird crow. He refused to come in because he's on account of being a demon and all. Anyways, this looks delicious. We have to... You watch as he's eating a pastry himself, his mouth agape as he chews, but he stares at Jericho as he takes every bite of the food that he's eating.

It all just slides off disgustingly. We will have to touch on that matter at a later time. I think what my good friend Jericho here is trying to say, and I think that he's just telling a bad joke. I see. You see, he's our traveling bard, our...

entertainer and he he forgets himself oh no I'm just saying that uh if you think your grim's rude you should be male pervert also a traveling bard that forgets himself well occasionally I've forgotten myself once he's not from regular places he's not from the city like you and I are I can see this

You know, he doesn't have the sensibilities of... Tonight is not a night to judge one another. Tonight is a night for celebration. Well, I actually have a joke, I guess. I guess I could tell a joke. If you're putting me on the spot here, Sir Marius, that's... Oh, gosh. My eyes are kind of narrow at you. I'm just like... I have a relevant joke. And, you know, we got some priests here. So a priest...

a worshipper of Foltus, of Shar, and of Lathander walk into a bar, and then they say, ouch! Yes. Because they're wearing the big hats? Is that why? Well done, Jannik. Sharans do not wear big hats. I don't get it at all.

I'm sorry. No, no. So they walk into the bar and you're presuming it's perhaps in a tavern or a saloon or an inn. But instead, it's a bar and they, ooh, they hit their head. That doesn't actually happen. That's why they all say ouch at the exact same time. They're all walking. That's pretty legit. Why do I feel like IRL, you just heard that joke for the first time. I'm kind of getting that impression as well, dude.

I didn't get it. Are you serious? I didn't get it. You must be kidding. That's the second oldest human in history. I thought there was more. I thought there was more.

Two people as able didn't get it. Jericho lands real well on this table. Did you get it, Nick? Yes! The only joke older than that is why did the chicken cross? Everyone knows that joke. I'm sorry to imagine. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stable to a loaf of bread.

It was dead. Oh. I was like, oh, God, did they walk into a holy protective aura around the bar? What happened? Oh, my goodness. I told a really genuinely great joke about all the clerics. Yes, and the one about your demon. Sure. Yes. Great jokes for dinner on the night that a witch has been slain.

Is there anyone else in here? Is it just the bishop and us? Unless one of the page boys of the Knights Templar come in to refill the food, no. Were we expecting anyone else tonight? And I'll kind of look at the other table with like the chair thing. No, just us. A private dinner. Myself, the head of Cyril, and a photos. And the six witch hunters.

that have saved this land from Mother Midnight. I think we were hoping to see your sister and her family. We were a bit worried when they were gone in the morning. Really? Yes, they discovered a witch bowl in their home. I can say he reaches down, he pulls off a leg of goose and he begins to eat and as he chews and swallows he continues to talk to you. It was pleasing to me that they were not named.

as one of the accomplices. Finding a witch ball in anyone's house is tantamount to execution. Now that Mother Midnight is gone, it is sad what has happened to Colette. But now that Mother Midnight is gone, it should be quickly rectified. What happened to Colette? She was found this morning overcome with the witch sickness. This morning? Yes. What is only dusk?

We, for this, for all intents and purposes, we can still call it morning and evening. Even though it has nothing to do with the moon. The moon and the sun. That sounds more... That'll make it a lot easier for me. Because I'm sick of saying early dusk. Or not saying it and having to think of it. Yes, this very morning. How is she now? Is she better? Not as of yet. But it may take a full night. As she sleeps it off, I imagine that...

Come the morrow, we will find Colettan the best spirits possible. That's very nice to hear. I was quite sad when you said that she had gotten sick like all them other children. I know it's been happening a lot, but now she should be feeling a lot stronger and probably better than ever before. Loud and knock. Uh-huh.

at the door quickly. It booms throughout this room. You see as he looks up, his mouth still full of pastry and meat, as he looks up to one of the page boys and they rush over and they unlock and open up the door. And then immediately you see as they rush over, almost nervous, unlock and open up the other door. And with a loud thud, you hear and see as Hugo makes his way into the room. Jesus. Hugo, what are you doing here? Interrupting

My meal with these heroes. We see as Hugo, his feet almost in turned, pointing towards each other. He slumps over and is playing with his fingers. Scary out there. Throw things at Hugo. Want to eat. Scared.

And you can see, even though you can't see his mask, you can see that he's definitely perplexed. And the archbishop looks towards him. "What could there possibly be to be scared of, Hugo? Look at you, your hideous form, far larger than any of theirs. Fear is for the weak. Take a seat at your table, Hugo. You disgust me." You see as Hugo bows his head.

Yes. Hungry. You will be fed. And then you should not fear. I did not raise you to fear. Aww, man. And he takes a seat at the table and he waits. It's like a giant fucking chair. It's huge, and the table itself is huge too, and they're not made from the same wood, clearly.

This table is rickety and old, but it was made for him. And you wait for a while as the Archbishop looks a little cut off guard. My apologies for Hugo. He was not intended to return until later this evening. He... his wicked mother. It is not his fault that he looks or acts the way he does. It was his wicked mother.

He cannot be held accountable for his hideousness or his stupidity. And you see as he claps his hands one more time and one of the page boys comes out and he's holding a tray and you would imagine with an entity this size as Hugo that this tray would be laden with food. But there is simply a small jar of milk and one chicken leg. As he puts it in front of Hugo. Eat and then retire.

Seeing this, I'll grab the other cooked goose leg and slide out to my seat and walk over to where Akeel is sitting. You go forward. And I will clip onto the plate the larger of the two wings before returning back to my seat. The Archbishop turns and he watches you as you go to do this. Roll a perception check.

The Archbishop doesn't stop you, but you can see a look of disdain grace his face for a second before he's able to steal his emotions. And as you place the chicken leg in front of Hugo, he looks down and then he tilts his head up at you, and even though he's so much larger,

He's still looking up towards you, and you see a look of sadness in his eyes through the slits in the mask. And then he turns his head towards the Archbishop. May I hum? The Archbishop puts his hand up. Yes, Hugo. The witch is dead. It is a night of celebration. Now, let us return to our pleasant conversation between good company. What? Did we just...

"Let's have him pull a chair up to this table. I mean, we don't mind." "I do. Hugo needs to learn his place. It's a lesson he's been learning since I was so kind to take him under my wing." "Alright." "Well, I was gonna say, I mean, looking at the horrific in appearance, I mean, I just look at, uh, at Briggsie." "I will say he does look at Briggsie and there's a slight sneer on his face at first, but he quickly covers it up."

I don't... I don't want to step out of line, but... Then don't. Well, I'm curious as to why you don't feed him more. I figure you want him to be at full strength to help protect the town. And if he had not abandoned his duties this evening, if he had played his role as he knows he should, he would eat his full meal. All right. Hugo is mine.

to oversee, and he is well taken care of. When his monstrous form ripped the life from his mother's body, it was under Foltus' watchful eye that he was destined to reside with me, and that I would keep him on the one true path. We all have sins to bear. Allow him to bear his.

And you see that Hugo is just staring. He hasn't touched his food. He hasn't touched his milk. He's simply staring down at it, waiting for the conversation to end. Well, thank you. Thank you, Hugo, for saving all of our lives and being mighty graceful and strong and heroic. Do not compliment him. It will go to his head. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, Mr. Art. Your Grace, Your Highness, your liege. He is too stupid to understand what you are saying anyway.

and let us feast. The night is young,

And there is much to celebrate. He reaches forward and you see a silver bell on the table and as he rings it, you watch as three of these page boys come in with trays laden with food and they remove the three that are only about half consumed in front of him. They remove them and replace them with three brand new trays that are piled with steaming delicious food.

And for the time being, the Archbishop talks to you. He tells you how well the church is doing, how excited he is to reopen the mine. It'll be simply a night of clearing things away and then hopefully the townsfolk will be able to enjoy meals, even a fraction as wonderful and bountiful as this. As without the gold from the mine, the

the economy in Cyril has been suffering significantly and it is difficult now for him to import the pastries that he does from Edwardia. And he talks about his hopes for the future and that he's excited to be able to enjoy the masquerade with you and once the

Once you have acclimated yourself to the feelings of your first witch burning that you'll easily come to see why tonight is a night for celebration and your countenance does not seem to deter him as plate after plate is consumed right in front of you and the night continues on. I would press him at some point to ask about what's things take a turn for the better? How

Well, I can't imagine that they wouldn't enjoy a nice meal here and there.

Of course, their repayment for their dedication to Foltis will be their lives. Their immortal lives? Yes, that Foltis will see fit to heal them from the witch's curse and the witch's sickness. The reopening of the mines will allow any honest Cerulean to contribute to society. That is all very good. And once the coffers in the church are filled to the brim again as they should be,

Then we will be able to provide the rest of Cyril in a way unlike Cyril has ever seen. A new day under the light of the one God. Well, and then full coffers be on account of tithes and taxes? Of course. It is Foltus that provides the mine, after all. He's mighty powerful. Yes.

Well, uh... Good bread, this. I'm glad you're enjoying your feast.

The, uh, this crab cake-- Except for that one spoon. These crab cakes are delicious. It's not at all what I was expecting. It's about this time that you hear the, um, you hear the chair legs of, um, of Hugo's, uh, chair as they slide across the stone and echo throughout the room. And you see a look of frustration on the archbishop's face as he continues to chew with his mouth open, just staring forward, making no eye contact, and

You all watch as Hugo turns towards him, looks at him, almost waiting or wanting some kind of attention, notice, or anything. He waits for a moment, and nothing comes before he finally turns and walks from the room.

Sleep well, have pleasant dreams, Hugo. He stops for a moment and you see that for the first time in this entire night, the archbishop stops chewing for a second as his eyes shoot directly toward you, but he smiles and continues to chew. Yes, Hugo, good night. And Hugo turns in his tracks and you feel him looking at all of you. And though you can't see it, you feel...

just, or you, I would say you can't see the smile on his face, but you see the crinkles right at the corners of the eyes where he clearly, um, clearly got a smile from him as he says, Who knows? What? And he turns and walks from the room. I don't know.

Good, uh, good, uh, sticky, very sticky pastries. Gosh, I love sticky, sticky pastries. Yes, and with that, I am starting to tire. Today has done much on my nerves. It is getting late into the evening, if you don't mind. I shove my chair back and just screech and stand up. Yes. I thank you for your audience tonight.

If you hear from Philip and he arrives, please let him know that he can send for us immediately. We will have the Knights Templar come to fetch you from where you're staying. Perfect. The moment he arrives. Until that point, the city of Cyril is yours to enjoy. You are our honored guests and the savior of us all. It has indeed been an eventful 24 hours since we returned the

Okay. Oh boy, that's too bad! Okay. Oh boy.

I want to get a sense of, I mean, make sure that I'm rich on this one. We are, we are so fucked. I grabbed my shovel. Um, my heart is a baby. Uh, uh, the duration, I can read the thoughts. Uh,

If the creature you choose has an intelligence of 3 or lower, or doesn't speak any language, you're unaffected. Well, he's unaffected then, because he's clearly not tired. I get a sense of the surface thoughts of the target, which I will make him with my action, just to get a sense of what he's feeling, if he's thinking anything besides being tired, or if he's thinking anything about the last 24 hours when I mentioned that. You immediately get a response back.

And these words echo in your mind. Do not dare to pry in secrets that are not offered to you. Not in the house of a god. And you feel your magic dissipate in an instant. Did your brain explode? Fuck. Thank you for your hospitality. Before we go, let us thank that that is truly...

responsible for the downfall of Mother Midnight. For it is not you, but me and Foltus. Bow your heads and let us give thanks. And he reaches his arms up and he bows his head and he begins to mutter in a language that none of you understand. As he then stands and rises. It was with your help that Foltus could cleanse this land of witchcraft and wickedness.

May you find this evening pleasurable, and may you enjoy all that Cyril has to offer. We will speak again. Amen. One last question. I do not know how frequently you go out into the streets of the city, but if you have any tavern recommendations you might be able to enjoy after such a lovely dinner. Ah, Plastica, you read my mind. There is but one tavern, owned by Samuel Goode. You know it. It is open.

Enjoy what it has to offer. I was going to propose the same thing. I'm glad you thought of it as well. And if that's the only tavern, then I suppose that I will be finding myself there. Good evening. Good evening. Thank you for this bountiful harvest. You may go. Praise to Foltus and to the Archbishop Anton Alexander Renaud. Does he leave the room? He waits for you to leave.

He just stands with his arms outstretched and watches you all. And you start to notice, as you kind of take a little bit of time, the page boys that are at the edge begin to slowly start creeping in slower and slower, almost as if if you wait too long, they will forcefully usher you out of the room. I have beaten only protein, but I'll take one small sweep and start to make my way towards the silver doors. He allows you to take the sweep and

you. Ooh, I should probably grab something for Virgil. Gosh, I don't know. Probably this sausage here looks unappetizing. Virgil will like that. The blood sausage? Oh yeah, this one looks actually bloody.

I'll wrap it up and let the napkin... You may go. Oh yeah, of course. Thank you very much, Archbishop. Your Grace. Your Highness. I'm going. And as the door's about to shut, you hear him say quickly, another tray of sweets. And then the door closes with a click.

This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legendsofavantris and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive camp and set on the high seas. Shroud over Saltmarsh.

You can also go to thecrookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. Do I get any, like, sense stepping into a cathedral, into the church, like, given my construction? No. Okay. Okay.

Well, gosh, I feel a lot better about that. Not even like getting heartburn right here. No. No, the moment the door's shut, it's almost complete silence. The candles flicker along the walls and cast shadows around the large stone room that you're in, and almost as if the light dances down the spiral staircase that you know will take you out to the main portion of the cathedral. And you are able to make your way through the cathedral and exit whenever you would like.

"Hey Virgil, I got you this to-go plate. I know that technically you were present through the whole thing and you were eating the whole time too, but it feels fun to feed your crow, your gross crow. Here you go." Virgil comes down and grabs the rope. That rhymed. "That's my finger, Virgil! That's my finger!" So are you heading straight out into the street? Yeah, yeah. We're gonna basically-- I would probably take the time to-- given that this is so

like, a level of grandeur that I've never experienced, I would look at the stained glass and the statues and I would linger. I would walk with my friends, but I would just kind of take it slow and if there's, like, chanting or any kind of music going on, I would just try to listen just to kind of take in what the cathedral of the blinding light would have to offer in terms of art. And I have a reverence for it, despite everything that I've seen. Well, I meant what I said to let the guy fully intend to go to Samuel Good's tavern.

You're all welcome to join me if you'd like. Was it the rest of the Hope Pathwalker's Rest or something? What do they call it? I didn't want it, Dan. Neither did I. There's no reason to go back to Mirabelle's just yet, and the night is still young. We should enjoy some evening, and perhaps we'll learn some tunes. Until we leave the cathedral, I am maintaining my...

Irony? Yes, and general... Reverence? Yes. Respect? Optimism. I'm being respectful. I am maintaining this level of airs, being in a, you know, a righteous place, I suppose. As we leave the cathedral, and I guess presumably the doors are closed behind us, I'll look around and I'll smile and say, Gosh, that was one of the nicest meals I've ever had.

And this is, I have, imagine someone like me, or something like me, sitting and enjoying and breaking bread with actual genuine nobility or royalty. Well, I don't know how it works. Virgil, see, I'm about to do something. And it is almost hard to hear what Jericho's saying over the roar of the night around you, laughing, giggling. And as you look, you see, is that a couple of,

coupling in the alleyway off to the sign, you see that where all of the knights should be stationed, there are no knights to be seen. Knights Templar are nowhere to be seen on the streets. And then you notice that is definitely a couple coupling in the alleyway and one of them is...

A Knights Templar. Well, there they are. As you look around, you see that there are people drunk and passed out on the street. You see games of gambling that have picked up in different corners. You see candlelight erupting in many of the houses and sounds of joy and debauchery and sin filling the city to the brim. Once we are far enough away from the temple, this...

My veneer will have dropped and I will kind of turn to whomever is listening and say out loud, that man is overly cruel. Does not seem to practice what he presents. I mean, this is a dark land with a whole lot of spooky shit going on. It's kind of what I would expect from a bishop in a place like this. Very few here practice what is preached, it would seem. I mean, look around now. This is nice. People finally lighten up.

If you're enjoying it, then this is truly a godless place. Well said. Well, they said that they were able to have at least one night of merriment, perhaps a little revelry. Celebration, but to celebrate beyond the creed or dogma of your god is chaos. I could use an ale to wash that meal from my lips. I don't care where we go, as long as it's away from this place.

All of me are terrible hypocrites. I'm a scout. After you. Don't you think that we should check on poor little Colette? I'm not sure if she's back at her home. I don't recall if the Archbishop said that she was being held in a

I have much concern for Ferran feeling very much responsible for the current state.

But I do not think that she is at the pool. And if they are, we'll find them. But for now, we'll stay out of the house and give them some peace and quiet. I'm sure they're struggling to sleep with all of the merrymaking that's going on. All right, to that tavern. All right. That I don't know the name of. It is with haste that you're able to make your way towards the tavern. This is a tavern you're familiar with. It was the tavern you had intended to spend your first night in Cyril in.

And as you make your way through the streets, you are met by all manners of debauchery. At one point, one of the doors to the house is open and you can clearly see in the firelight and the torchlight a full-blown orgy. Whoa! And you are, you're put off and you're shocked because this is not the town that you had just been in. At least it doesn't feel that way.

Years and years of fear overtaking these people as they finally feel free. And given the go-ahead by the Archbishop to let loose and enjoy their evening, they are doing truly that. Whether this is what the Archbishop had intended or not is up for debate. But the streets of Cyril are as lively as they could possibly be.

You eventually make your way to the tavern, to the inn. And it is almost with a shock to see that this is the place that seems to be the least debaucherous. It is packed to the gills with people who are drinking and laughing, gambling, there's music. You see people who are getting a little touchy-feely in the corner, but nobody doing anything that you wouldn't see being fairly normal in any other tavern and anywhere in a Vantress.

And as you take your seat, Samuel quickly thanks you, offers you rounds on the house all night long and puts you up at the same table that you had sat at the first night. Provides you with rounds of drink immediately. And for an hour, people are constantly coming up to you, thanking you, calling you the heroes of Cyril. You're told over and over and over again that...

The people in this town knew that they were witches, every single one of them, and they got what they deserved. And it wouldn't have happened without you. And look at what Cyril is now, thanks to the heroes that came to town. Apologies for their quick judgments on you, and they should have known that the witches had clouded their judgment for fear that if they trusted you, their demise would have come sooner. It was all humans, what, the witches.

Weakness monsters, they ain't none of the kind. As you drink and enjoy your evening in the tavern. I would have my hat turned over and ask who will come up. I always stay rose with a witch slayers. If you're feeling generous to leave a tip, please. And you see that many people come up and...

That's what I'll do.

So I bite every single soul. If any of them who are thankful that they knew which one of them to wish, I tell them that I'm sorry for their loss. And if they give me any confusion, I would correct the loss of the person you thought they were. Fucking got him. Yeah, absolutely. Fucking witches. Now spit and walk away. Go ahead. I just wanted to say that it is good to be sitting down in a

Public place like this like he passed Walker threats, which is the name of this tavern Well, you know these these night fellows what the one that was copulating in the alley and the ones that are going the mines are quite a Strange bunch to think the Templars. I wrote a song about it

- Oh, it's a good setup. - Thank you. I guess I never need it. I don't ever need a setup for a song, but it always helps. I don't like to move anything. - As you begin to strum, Samuel stands up on the bar and stomps his feet, calls out for silence. Jericho is about to play a song.

Let everyone listen and enjoy. And the din of the tavern quiets as everyone turns to you to listen. And it's at this moment that you notice in the very back corner, shrouded in shadow, surrounded by 10 cronies. What's up? What's up with us? William Van Brunt.

who quickly takes his legs boot after boot and slams them down on the table and leans back and looks at you skeptically. A couple of his cronies crack their knuckles and he calms them down and you see as he whispers, listen.

and everybody quiets for you to play your song. Well, gosh, I'd say that's lots of pressure, but I was built to be a genuine performer in front of crowds and taverns. So I'll just start. And, you know, this is perhaps if you know the words. Well, you don't know the words because I just wrote it. Shut up and sing your song! One of the cronies starts yelling from the back. And I'll say, okay. They're knights of the town, Cyril. They're probably not that evil. They have street sex, which is hex, and hygiene quite mighty.

And I just continue. Well done. And I continue. There is silence in the tower. And everyone stares at you. They look between each other, confused. The Templars aren't that evil? What is he doing? It was kind of more context sensitive for my friend. And then Van Brunt...

begins to clap and the entire tavern begins to roar with cheers. Encore, encore. And they begin to drink and indulge in lasciviousness. This is real nice, Jonathan. Oh, thank you. I can't believe they enjoyed that whole song, me singing about them having sex, being hexed, and not bathing very much. It was a silly song. You imagine that they probably...

It was as true as it was lyrical. You imagine they probably didn't enjoy it, but if Van Brunt clapped, they were going to. Oh, gosh. Well, this is a great audience. Perhaps we could stay. After we get our genuine rewards, perhaps we can stay in town and find some jobs and enjoy the village and be friends forever and never leave each other's side.

and never go back home again? Jericho, I'm leaving as soon as I can. I have to go back to my king. Oh. Lord Philip has what he says that he has. He gives me that cut. I'm leaving. Oh. I've got more work to do myself. You're always welcome to visit. There's nothing saying that we have to stop being friends. Okay. That's okay.

Of course. I don't know why I thought that, you know, we'd be friends forever. We just met like a week ago. With a loud thud, Jorgrim, right next to you, a large boot finds itself directly on the table. And as you look over, Van Brunt is standing between you and Marius.

One of his legs up on the table, his rippling calf muscles directly in your face. His full package, nearly inches. As he looks down at you. He's hysteric. As the boot comes down, you turn and look

toward what you know to be Van Brunt. Your eyes landing on his boots and then making your way up to him. He is flexing his muscles while he runs his fingers through his hair. And you notice that none of his cronies have followed him over, but they all are watching from that corner, whispering amongst themselves. As he looks down at you and he says, So. You keep staring me down on the streets of Cyril.

If you truly think you're a match for Van Brunt, meet me outside in ten minutes and we'll have a go. Is he talking to your- He's talking to your girl. Marius very slowly closes his eyes and just ever so slightly tilts his head down and then continues to drink his ale. The rules are: no help from your lackeys. And I'll get no help from mine. One on one. Mono e mono. Up for it, greenskin.

And you see he looks like he might be a little tipsy. Yeah. Oh, you got a shovel. You'll cut him in half, Jorgrim. No weapons. Oh, you got big old muscles. You'll rip them in half, Jorgrim. I don't need the Throxamah. It's about time this party got started. You're smooth. Well, I'm out. It's out in ten minutes. Ha ha ha!

He looks down at you, his eyes completely taking all of you in as he slowly licks his lips and he nods. I flex, and you can see that my bicep is the size of his body. Yeah.

He flexes, and you can see the size of his bicep is the size of your body. Well, uh-oh. Is he bigger than me? He's not, but he is. He's trying. What is it that Andy always says? I flex my thighs. What is it? What? Yolks. Yolks. He's absolutely yoked. He's chunked. He's chunked up. He's chunked. He's like, oh, thank God.

Absolutely good. He's big for a human. He is huge for a human. You see the leathers on his chest are straining against his pecs as he flexes his muscles and you watch as one pec dances after another. He looks towards Farron and he gives you a wink. You see his eyes alight with almost like a challenge as he turns and he looks back towards you.

10 minutes. And all of his cronies roar in laughter as he whistles and motions for them and he stomps outside and both him and his cronies, he doesn't even turn as him and his cronies disappear into the darkness. You see, I will say you see one of them lean up against the doorframe as if they're waiting.

Jorgrim, you are not seriously considering this, are you? I thought this night was going to be a total waste. You're being baited. He's attempting to lure you out for something. No, he wants to fight. This is Jorgrim's chance. To do what? Let's play him. How are you going to cheat? How are you going to kill him? I generally would say no to that, but I'm with you. The guy's an asshole. Am I the only one who has not gone mad? You're planning on killing him.

I don't plan on killing him, but if I hit him too hard, he'll probably die. It just makes sense. But... All right. All right. Do you want to go about this the honorable way? He challenged me in honorable combat with his very unimpressive manhood hanging in my face. What was I to do? It was quite large. What was...

So there was nothing that I could do to convince you of this? The size of my pinky. The size of my pinky. The only fair way to have this out is both of you take your penises out and we compare. Is that a durian or are you happy to see me? Durian's like...

Oh

You mean half your face fell off? I got durian penis. Yes.

Oh, you kids are dead. Dirty and dead! Where's Caprice? Do we really have to cure this witch accident? I'm kind of okay with this. I can lose it if you can. And you're sure that there was nothing that I can do to convince you otherwise? You could be my second.

Sure, what is that? You're asking me that I know this would never happen, but on the off chance that he beats you half to death, you'd like me to step in? That would just mean you hold my shovel. You know what, Jorgrim, for you, I'd be honored to hold the shovel. I assumed that he meant that you'd be the second person he'd fight after he defeated you. Well, if it comes to that as well, Lethika...

Sign me up. Well, I can't beat down two skinny boys in the street this evening. I'm going to go to the bar while they're talking. I've been meaning to bring this up for a while.

You keep calling me boy. How old are you? Old? Count time in different ways. I haven't really thought about it before. Never. Alright. Orcs really are just magical creatures. It's just kind of timeless. So you city folk use a different method of keeping your ears.

I think what he's trying to say is that he's horribly afflicted with a curse that makes him live forever. So he looks kind of like a boy, he's really not. This pretty boy? Yeah. And just so you're aware, if there was something in this universe from a meta perspective to measure our strength, you and I would be humans.

So if you're feeling, as they say, froggy, I encourage you to leap. Settle down. As I said, what'll do for tonight? Okay, Orc. In a fistfight, he's got raped.

Well, we'll see. Jorgrim, I meant to ask, are you used to fighting with just your fists, or is it mostly the shovel? Mostly the shovel. That's how we settle disputes where I come from. Nothing crazy, but strength rules.

Oh, well, I hope, I'm sure you will not listen to Briggsie and you'll, I presume it honors a big part of your clan and you would never do whatever, anything that Briggsie would tell you in a fair match. I just think Billy could use some hands. I will tell you, do anything you need to survive. That's the rules where I come from.

I agree with you, let's think about it.

I'm used to talking to myself. The masks actually reflect a mirror that he stares into towards him. I've come back and I've gotten from the bar from Samuel Hood a small amount of cooking oil. If we're going to do this-- Oh, do you? Do you, huh? Yeah. Sure.

I take my shirt off. Roll a persuasion check. If you can't, you can have some of my greasy hair. My hair mud? Yeah. It's all natural, baby. The drinks were on the house all night with an 11 unless I could enjoy advantage for that benefit. I don't know. Okay.

Because of what happened previously in his inn, and he feels very bad about it. Just a small amount of cooking. That affects the DC. He doesn't have oil, but he does provide you with essentially bacon grease.

And so it is thicker. It's not as good a distractiveness. But he provides you with a small little ramekin of bacon grease. I have a ramekin of bacon grease and I warm it up with my paws and I start to make sure that your muscles are actually quite ready. Oh, you're just oiling him up with bacon grease. Yeah, I'm greasing you up. Gosh. It's been about ten minutes.

It has. I guess we'll all go outside and we'll support you. I would get a refill and then bring my flagon of ale out with me. I would crush my meat and then just walk outside. As you begin to exit the tavern with your fresh drinks in hand, the entire tavern erupts with cheers to the saviors of Cyril.

as you make your way into the dark street in front of you. One of Van Brunt's cronies is standing there waiting for you. He looks you up and down. He's significantly shorter than Van Brunt and most of the other cronies. And he doesn't say anything to you, but he snickers a little bit to himself as he turns down one of the alleyways and motions for you to follow.

And all of you do. You follow behind this man who gave you no name as he leads you through twisting back streets of Cyril until you come out behind what appears to be five houses that back up to each other, none of them with yards. And in the very center, almost dug into the ground, you see where stones have been removed probably years and years ago, is a rough fighting pit. And standing in the very center of it

is Van Brunt. And as you round the corner, he looks up and he whistles at his crony who immediately rushes to the side and you see that on one side of this

for all intents and purposes. All of his cronies surround him in a half circle. There's an empty spot on your side for your cronies to surround you. I'm going to lean over to Briggsie and very quietly to him so that your cronies definitely cannot hear me. I'm going to say, now I know that this would never happen.

But, uh, at what point do we actually want to step in if we need to? I don't really want this to become an Apollo Creed don't throw in the towel situation. I don't know what the fuck you just said. If he starts to get killed, when do we stop it? Well, I mean, he said he wanted it to be honorable.

I'll leave it to your sense of honour. I mean, I don't think we should let him die, so if he's like about to get killed, like he's about to, you know, bend a fucking guy, he won't jump in and stop it, but I mean, he wants to do it on his own. Alright, maybe you hold the shovel.

"Oh, oh! Oh shit!" "It's fucking heavy!" "Merry, your brother made you his second." "We are going to honor the rules of this fight. It's been a very long time and I'm not going to be able to get the smell off of you." "So this better be worth it. Unless he is in danger of death, we do not step in." "Van's branch." "Oh, I'm sorry, what?" "I said what about if the fucker cheats?"

Well, I think perhaps we can refuse to tell him that. It's at Farron saying this that Van Brunt clears his throat. He begins to flex his muscles. I've only been in a pit before he says anything. He looks at you and he smiles as he spits on the ground. This is going to be a fair fight. One William Billy Van Brunt against...

This guy. Yorgie! Hey, Ares! Your name is Yorgie. And you hear everyone behind him erupt in laughter as they all just chant Yorgie and they make fun of your name and they say things under their breath. One calls me Yorgie. Your city calls me Eru.

And I will step forward and say, that's right, his name isn't... Roll an intimidation check. His name isn't Yorgie, it's your Grimm, and I have a song for him. Oh boy. That you all are going to be singing as he fights. Thank God.

- I rolled a D12 accidentally, got an extra one. - Well, please don't roll a D12. - That was my bad. It looked very similar. - They do. - Much better. - Intimidation? - You got a 61. - Oh, that's a 19. - Unproficient, 22. - Okay. You see, just for a split second,

as he falters for a moment, but he does not let your words sting too deeply as he ignores Jericho. You can sing your song, but he is going to ignore you as he begins to recite the rules. The rules to this game are hand-to-hand combat. Mano y mano, lackeys, cronies, do not get involved.

The first one knocked unconscious loses to understand. I do. Now, let us draw lots to find out who will go first. And we're just going to roll for initiative. And as soon as he finishes doing that, I'll play like a tune on my banjo. I will sing.

It's your grim. The lamp, the mist, your grim. He's always pissed, your grim. I see the tombstone, your grim. For a thousand orcs, it's your grim. The retribution, your grim. For all those

I'm just gonna see if he notices that it's a skull. What am I rolling?

I assume he's a big dumb idiot or something. You don't need to. I'm just joking to see how perceptive he is. I was thinking about making you do a sleight of hand, but I just want to see if he's stupid as he looks. And so I will... It's a decent. As he stomps into the ground, the dirt where the stones had been previously billows up around him as he dusts the dirt off of his...

off of his incredibly tight leather pants that hug every bit of his body. You can see his durian clear as day. I'm just trying to disgust you. What did you roll? 22. You do get to go first in battle.

And just as he moves to have you step forward, he whistles out at the men behind him and he grabs onto the front of his shirt and completely rips it open. And you see his rippling oiled chest as he stands there flexing at you, trying to look intimidating.

I flex back my chest covered in bacon grease. And for the purpose of this, go ahead and put your mini in that circle. Oh, the circle was there all along. It was the moon. And then I know

- I know that this isn't big or intimidating, but he looks like a witch hunter, so we're gonna use-- - He was so confident that you could bait me into one-on-one combat when all of my comrades are like, "You're a fucking idiot." - I knew it. Well, didn't I tell you I had something special for you if it happened? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

So confident. It's your turn. When it would have taken her less than ten seconds to draw it now. I was so confident that he would do this. I can do this in an instant, but I don't need to. I can't draw a fight bit later. He's gonna be in the fucking tavern.

And you get to go first. He digs his feet into the ground. What do you do? Let's see what happens. Just an actual, something that may or may not be relevant. Have we had a long rest by this point since the last time we were in combat? Yes. Yeah, okay. You woke up and dealt with the madness of the city as they were invading.

actively acting your witch hunt and then you watch people burn and have dinner. Nice, okay. Just a nice little Sunday. I'd be at full health. Yes. Better check him here. How much health do you have? The bacon grief. 49. I know. Thank you. And my AC is 18. That does help me. Yeah. I would move... Classic, you can't beat the shit out of him without getting closer.

Wouldn't it be fair to say just for like rule of order we're gonna have each other? Yes. And you would meet in the middle. Yeah. Everyone behind Van Brunt begins to cheer. Billy! Billy! Kill him, Billy! You're grim. The lamp he makes, you're grim. He's always pissed. Don't do it.

Let's see. 12. 12 misses. Oh, no. Dan, you go to hit him, but you're not...

You've been, I would say, greased up for a while. Don't lie to the grease! You've never had bacon grease put under your armpits before, and as you go to right hook him, your arm slips on your large back, and it completely flies. Are you recklessly attacking? You betrayed me, Bacon. I don't know that I have that. You did in your pass level 2. You two rolled it for advantage, but then he...

Yeah, you can get him advantage. And it's a question if he's advantage. So. Just go reckless. It says melee weapon attacks, but I mean. That's a melee. I gotta check these at the airport, you know what I'm saying? So. Do you need a band-aid to your grim? Because you are cut. Because you are cut? That's good. It's alright. Yeah. Um.

Yeah, is that fair? Can I attack him righteously? I agree with Goldstein. You just can't use your Shudder.

Anything else you can do? That's better. 17. 17. All right, 17's good, baby. It looks like you're going to miss as Van Brunt moves to the side, but you were fooling him. You expected that. As you come in with your left just as strong as your right, and you tumble into him. I don't roll damage. Well, plus the reckless...

Is it just advantage of damage? Plus two. Oh, rage. Yeah, so it'd be... Oh, you're raging. I'm not raging. Okay. Okay.

- Straight up foot. - Straight up fist fight. I actually wanna go in and I go to punch him, I open my fist and I slap him in the face. - You hear behind you as he like staggers back with the strength of this, how many hit points? - Five, it's just solid five damage every time I hit him. - Well, just remind me, I'm gonna have a lot to think about. As you hear almost silence, almost silence behind him and ugh!

And then he quickly turns and gives them an evil look and they're like, Billy! Billy! And he immediately charges in towards you. I'm advantaged on him? Yes. Because he's reckless? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish he was only fine. He might have been a touchy.

with a natural 20, he is going to go in and he is going to... - I'll give you the first one. - He is going to punch into you. - Right into the kidney is where he goes. And you're gonna be pissing blood from the noise. - Oh god. - Just like back from the shades.

18 points of bludgeoning damage as he punches into you. He is then going to spin around with a grace you weren't expecting. And he is going to attempt to grapple you with his bonus action. I need you to roll an athletics check and it is an athletics contest. Fucking great. You did remember to rage first, right? So you're...

No, this is a fair honorable fight. I don't think being angry is unfair. Yeah. You can rage now. I would say raging is part of what you do. You would imagine that would be fair to do. I don't really rage as much as I channel it. Just like grappling you, what he's doing now is what he can do.

All right, all right. Oh, hey! Yeah, yeah. Mesa's new to D&D. Let him win the hard way. Let him win the hard way. I'm gonna destroy 20 commoners.

I'd be cheating the whole way. What was I rolling? Ironically. You were rolling athletics. Welcome, Pato Gal. Unless I'm advantaged for baking. You're not. He is also greasy as well. His chest sucks.

slides over your body as he whips around behind you and his arm right up against your neck as he is now holding you in a grapple. He whispers into your ear, "You piece of shit, I'm gonna fucking kill you." - In my ear. - Dude, this guy's out for blood. - I thought that was the death one.

And your turn, it's your turn. I turn my head back and say, your breath smells real nice. Okay. Can we do anything? We

We can cheer on him. I mean, you can. I'm not going to stop you. We're outnumbered. But you can do whatever you want. He must be holding back. He went in for a slap and then he's getting absolutely demolished. I thought he was talking about a game. I thought he'd be a bit stronger than this. I thought it was... This seems a little bit theatrical. It's much more than you're doing. Let us just wait to see what Jorgrim is cooking. You hear the people...

behind all of Van Brunt's cronies, cheering and screaming, Billy, Billy, Billy. I would sort of be like, oh, well, yeah, I mean, he looks looking pretty rough over there. And I would like to cast Hex on Billy. You're just silencing his Hex? I feel like Jordan's going to be really pissed. What does Hex do? And I would like to make him disadvantage on strength checks.

Okay. Wow! Would I know he's doing that? No. Um... Brutal. Brutal! Trying to think if Van Brunt would... I would like you to roll a sleight of hand, just to see if you would notice. Oh god, I need a good die. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Oh, that's gotta be it. And I'm proficient. That's gotta be it. Pretty sure.

This could go sideways real quick. 16. The only thing on the line is your group's pride. You see as Van Brunt leans in, and it's almost as if they have this quick exchange of words, as he looks up at Briggsie, and he meets your eye, and you see as he licks his lips, almost as if he has some knowledge of

I won't say he knows that it's Hex, but he feels that you in particular have...

I've changed the rule of the game. - Interloped? - I'll lick my lips around along the entrance. - Got him. - Yorgi. - So I assume I'm grappled? - You're grappled. - So what is that? I don't know what that means. - So you just, your grapple, your speed is zero. - Okay, do I roll at like disadvantage for hitting them? - No, you can just attack. You just can't move. - You can't get away from them basically. - 17. - That hits. - Okay. - So five.

Well you would take a seven if I am... Are you raging? Are you raging? Alright, I'll rage, yeah. How does it, what does it look like? Yeah, what does that look like? What happens?

Why are you so upset with us? It's supposed to be honorable combat and they do 18 points of damage. And it's... It's... It's... So, first of all, he is dishonorable. Okay, you're not in the fighting pit. You can't have this conversation. I'm just trying to understand. I want to get into your room. Well, it's, you know, it's a scary place. Okay? You can't be in there. Um...

Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage. You watch as it looks like Jörgrim steals himself and all of a sudden his muscles ripple as you see rage across his face as he...

quickly reaches behind himself and with lightning speed, I don't know how you do this, is able, no, I'll say you. With the, yeah, you crack your head back and immediately the back of your head comes into contact with Van Brunch's nose as blood begins to leak out of it. He takes his tongue and he licks it up as his crowd once again starts chanting Billy. He is going to go in. It's a boy, you're a good one.

Yes, well done. Very good. He is going to go in and he is going to--he's got you grappled, so he is rolling at advantage against you. And so, 18? 18 would hit. All right, he is going to hit, and-- Sorry. As I see Van Brunt rearing up for another hit, I say, "Well, that first one looked like it hurt."

He's gonna do 11 points of damage. Is this bludgeoning damage? Everything is bludgeoning damage, except as he does this and punches into you, you feel a piercing that you hadn't expected. And you see a quick glint of silver in his fist, a tiny blade clenched within his fingers as you are going to take an additional...

Does everybody get your perception die? I am ready to... Additional six points of poison damage. Poison damage? And I need you to make a constitution saving throw for me. You're getting gladiated. As Van Brunt uses the cheat ability. My name is Marcus Aurelius. And yes, you can all roll a perception check to see if... Son of a bitch! Yeah!

Natural. Oh, shit. I was rolling a constant. 26. Marius is angry. A decent 15. I do. Yeah, 22. 22. So you're not... You were able to shrug it off. You do not succumb to the poison condition, but it was still poison damage. So I would take...

six points of bludgeoning damage and six points of poison damage? Yes. Well, so, you take the damage that I told you initially, which I think was 11 points. Well, but that was bludgeoning. That was, yes. So you take six. And then his bonus action was to cheat. Half of 11 is five. Oh,

Oh, I actually have to roll to make sure that that hits. And it does, so we're fine. So he used cheat, that hit, and so you'll take five poison damage, but you shrugged off the poison condition. Cheat is a real thing? Yeah. Really? And for anyone who's a patron, maybe we'll, well, it's a real thing on his stat block.

Oh, I love it. We may put up William Van Brunt on Patreon. Hell yeah. I love that. Because he's going to be dead tonight. Well, someone's going to die this way. It's going quick. So do we perceive any blood or the blade with a perception of 20 and other various? That's 14. I would say yes, you do. I would say with that, though, you also noticed that Briggsie cheated as well. Oh.

So that was his turn. Alright. Take it. Uh... Voodoo gun! Take it, Rizalvin! Yeah, winning down, voodoo gun. That guy got one shot and one punch! Fuck!

I would say, probably loud enough so, I wouldn't like shout out, but I would say loud enough so like the crowd can hear it and just say, so this is what you call honorable hidden daggers and poison. What? And then I'd just try and hit him again. What did you just say?

I think he's eating blood there on the back. What did you say? With an 18. He's got a dagger in his hand. He just stabbed him with that punch. We have to stop this. Seven points of damage. I don't know what to do. I've never been in a pit fight before. The man has a blade. And Jorgrim is unarmed. He spits. He actually, I'll say he spits directly on you. And he'll say, he'll spit in your face. And he'll say, um...

Where does it go? You talk of honor. You talk of honor. I can't do it. Honor? Like, can you really talk of honor about it? I didn't just say they're cheap. They're talking of honor about it? You talk of honor about it, but your fucking bar gave you inspiration and like this shithead over here is like hexing me and stuff. So like, fuck up. Shut the fuck up and take the poison damage.

He doesn't say that in that voice, but he essentially says, like, don't talk to me of honor. Tell your friends to stand down or this will end quicker than you want it to. What? As he is still...

grappling year. What did you all do? And he is going to punch into the boundaries. I don't see any of it. I didn't get any of the perception checks. I'll pull him aside and get him caught up.

11 points of damage. I'll get you caught up on that. Just the punch? Yes. And then you watch as he still, you guys are still linked together. He's going to use his bonus action and he's going to lick the side of your face. Oh yeah, this guy. And he's going to say to you, um...

You taste like defeat. And he's going to heal with Second Wind. Ooh, yikes! I didn't really defeat the taste of defeat. What is Second Wind from, guys? It's a fighter. It's a fighter. Oh, cool. He's, I think, he's like a talent controller fighter. You're in a little bit of trouble. And that's his turn. So he didn't cheat there. Oh, that was so close. We have twists. We have tons of twists. He isn't fired. No. Did you use that? Uh...

That would be 20 to hit. And I would say... Misses, yeah. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. You've got to get used to me. It's a common Mickey. I would say...

My friends have done nothing to aid me. But if you liked that, have a little bit of this. And I just slam my forehead in his nose and try and crack his nose. You hear a loud crack as his nose cracks to the side, marring his gorgeous face. Blood streaming down from his nose. Seven? Yeah, seven.

Do I have any ability to break out of his hold of me? Do you use an action to try? Do I have to use my action to do it? I think so. I think so. He maintains, he keeps up his grapple, I believe, and has a new full-out. Acrobatics are off limits. I could be wrong, but I think that's how it works. Are we just slamming each other with headbutts back and forth? We're basically just grappling back and forth. Yeah.

And so it is his turn. He is going to... He is going to attack you. Natural 15, so yeah, he's going to hit you.

That's a landed shock. He's getting the shocks. But I rolled a one on the d8, so that's fine. Six points of damage. Bludgeoning damage. And he is going to attempt to continue to grapple you. And so another athletics contest. Yeah, he's disadvantaged on that. Oh, really? Yeah, because of Hex. Oh, shit! We got a natural one. There we go.

Unless you get a natural. Well, no, even if you get a natural one, he has to beat you. He has to legitimately beat you. So you, he punches into you, directly into your gut, and the force is so strong, it knocks you forward a bit. I throw up on him. You do. No, you don't. The arrow on you wrenches you from his grasp as you're now about five feet in front of him, both of you staring each other down. Jorgrim.

Come on, you're all grim. Oh, baby! Nice. That was a one-two skidoo. Well, the natural 20. There we go. Hell yeah. The one-two. Natural 20. Yes! Well done. I'm gonna twist and drag that. Yeah! No! Let's bring it back. Bring it back. Let's bring it back. Thanks, Jack. Just roll again? Just roll again. Just roll again. Just roll again. Spike it. You got it. You got it. Two in a row.

- So close. - It was right there. - It's a little worse, it's a little worse. - What is it? - It is a, I don't think you can twist it. - You can twist a twist. - You cannot, a twist is a trap. - That's right, that's right. - Maybe it's two.

No, two misses. As you move in and you attempt to hit him. As old Billy begins to move back and forth and your fist whizzes past him as he goes to strike in on you. He is going to action surge and he is going to take both of his actions to make his punch attacks. Is he still disadvantage against you or advantage?

- Are you gonna make us attack it? - No, I don't think so. - So just regular attack? - Yeah, just be normal. - One is a natural one, but the other one is a natural 19, so one of them is going to hit. - I'll yell at Billy. - And I got a full eight. 13 points of bludgeoning damage. - God, that's so much. - I carry the one. - Oh yeah, you're toast, buddy. - I can't do my voice. I'm gonna yell at Billy and say,

"Did your mother teach you to fight that way?" I can't do my voice at the moment because I'm laughing. He's not even gonna turn and look towards you. I'm just trying to distract him. "Well, yes, Farren, she did. She was quite capable with a fist."

I don't like the way this is going, Marius. I don't really know what to make of that. So are you still standing? Yeah. Okay. And so that's his turn. He attempted to use both of his actions to, or his two actions. Oh, and because he's got a bonus action, he is going to attempt to cheat. Oh, so he's still cheating? Classic. Huh? This will be the second time. Okay. Classic, Billy. Oh.

15 doesn't hit, so no, he's gonna miss. As he swings in, but you're able to dodge out of the way, you all see very easily the glint of the tiny blade that is encased in his fist, as it just narrowly misses Jorgim's cheek. Look, he's cheating. He's still cheating. As he says that, I'll say, okay, every crowd with me, you all know the words, it's your

♪ Yorgrym, the night of the mist ♪ And then I will sing that, and I'm going to cast Healing Word at a second level on Yorgrym because he cheated. Billy, drop that blade or I'll shove it up your arse. I would yell to Yorgrym. Get shit on, Billy. I would yell to Yorgrym and say, you need to call this off, the man has a blade!

How's he looking? One, two HP? Oh, he looks fine. Oh, fuck. I mean, he's second winded. He's feeling good. Eight points of healing is all you can get. I mean, eight points is a lot. That's half of one of his crits. We're about to clear the fucking benches. And it is your turn or mine? Well, I hope it's mine.

I can't remember. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Yes, it's your turn. All right, I'll swing at him again. 21. That helps. 37 points of damage. 37 points of damage.

All right. He takes the damage and you see a cut appear on the side of his face, a couple of bruises beginning to form, but he is holding strong as he is going to go in with his punch. And he is going to hit, of course he is. Another max damage.

13 points of bludgeoning damage, and an athletics contest as he once again attempts to grapple you. And he is at disadvantage because of... Is it athletics or just straight... Athletics. 17. Yeah, you are able to wiggle out of his craft that hex doing work. All right, I'll throw it back.

13. A 13 misses. He dodges out of the way and... No. And just as you dodge out of the way, he goes in with his punch yet again and gets a natural two. So he is going to use his bonus action to cheat. He's going to use his bonus action to cheat and he still fails. I got two threes in a row. I don't think this fella's fighting a fair. I mean, I don't think. He still has the knife.

Yeah, clearly. And you can see that there's a little bit of blood in his eyes and he's wiping the sweat and blood from his eyes as he's fighting you, but his punches aren't landing as hard as they had been before. It's your turn. Interesting. Should we do something? He's not dropping the knife. This hasn't been a fair fight from the beginning. And your room doesn't want anyone to interfere. It's too late for that. Ten misses. He is going to use that opportunity to jump in on you. Sixteen.

To Jimmage? No, to him. Oh, you're 18, you're 18. And then after one, okay, I need to move you away. Uh-oh. As this fight is continuing to unfold in front of us, I'll shout out at the rest of William's friends across the way. They're still chanting Billy, Billy, Billy. Listen, look! Look at the dagger in his hand! Look at your hero! Billy! Kill him, Billy! Fuck him up! He's fucking cheap. What happened?

It's your turn. Uh... Just leave the door up in here before you bow. You got a chance. It's missing. Phone's ringing. It's Destiny calling. I'm sworn to fudge. Will you take the charges? Yeah, he called your ass collect. I'm sure I'll hit him.

Oh boy. All right, he is going to punch in with a 16. No. And then the cheat will hit as he hits with one arm and then he comes around with the blade and he is able to slice you with it doing a

9 points of poison damage, because I rolled max on a d4. And then I need you to make a constitution saving throw. The good is I don't have to, because that will kill me. You'll be at 0, not 10. Do you have the orcish thing, or is it only half orcs?

- Oh, that's half orcs. - As he misses with the right hook, he swings in with the left and you all see as the blade shines easily and collides with Jorgum's face, a gash appears across his cheek. Your eyes begin to roll back as William looks up at you and he laughs as he rears back with his foot and kicks you square in the chest, throwing you back

into the fighting ring, as he spits down at you and he says, "I told you I was the stronger one, idiot." And he kicks dirt at you and he turns around and he begins to walk away. And he doesn't look at any of you as he says, "Your friend has made a fool of you. We'll meet again. And next time, you won't be walking away."

- Am I unconscious? - You are unconscious. - I think we have to get in there. - And just as soon as he steps up out of the ring, his cronies swarm around him and almost like a swarm of insects and pests,

They nearly carry him down the alley and away. And you are left with Jorgrim unconscious in the middle of this fighting pit. I want to kill Jorgrim, but I cast Instant Diarrhea on him. You cast the run. I would want to. You hear down...

You hear down the alleyway, Oh, boss, what the fuck smells? I would immediately jump in the pit and run to Jorgrim. I jump down and I will immediately go, Jorgrim, and with his name as the word of command, I will cast Healing Word. I'd like to call out, as Derek says that, Mr. Van Brunt, now!

Now that you've finished that tense fight, you should probably relax all of your muscles very tensely. I'm gonna cast Suggestion on him as he's walking away. And then play the brown note on my banjo. - You should've used Suggestion. - I know it's possible 'cause I played Caprice, but I'm a cleric, I can't be like, oh, I'm gonna Faithreal hard in your pants. - It's a Wisdom 15. - 13. - 15. So he, I suggest that he shits himself.

He's, you can't even-- I play the brown note on my banjo. You can't see what's going on. You can't see Van Brunt. He's swallowed by his cronies and they are making quick haste down the closest alleyway, but you do actually hear the words, "Hey boss, what the fuck's that smell?" And then that's the last you hear of that. So that is canonically what I'm hearing now. You want to come in? I speak out to you. You deal seven points.

- I see death saves. - Yes, if you adjust your HP and go up to seven, they'll go away.

Yeah, because his attack was non-lethal. I've never made death saves in D&D Beyond, but I understand there are faces and stuff where they're like... Yeah, they're very... I would help you administer aid. Yeah, I'm there. I obviously call upon my Mistress of Pain to undo the pain that you're feeling now to the initial set, but pretty quickly you and I are probably both working to make sure that the cuts are cleaned up.

Of getting out of each other's ways, that sort of thing. I would say we probably work extremely well together when it comes to administering medicine. Are you okay? Wake up. Are you okay? Where is he? He's long gone. He's a fucking cheat, that's what he is. Ran away, I see. How do you feel? It's...

cough out a bunch of blood. I'll give him some, I'll take some mushroom and... What mushroom? What mushroom? Yeah, you're a big evil mushroom. Yeah, you can. A mushroom. You took mushrooms from the hut. Oh, not that mushroom. Oh no! Not that one! Here. Oh my god, his penis is a durian! Catch away!

Wrong one! No, not that mushroom. I will take some mushroom that I had in my satchel that I brought from the forest with me and crush some up into a little cup and pour some water from my water skin and hand it to him to drink and I'll cast Carol of the Moon on you. Beautiful.

I need you all to roll a perception check. Do I have to drink the mushroom water that you did? Yes, you do. Sorry. It tastes like shit. Everything's going to be okay. And then just let me know who rolled the highest. Was it perception? Perception, please. Oh, not me. I'm at 21. 11. 24. No, that's a lot to go.

I'll walk up and I'll take my hat off and I'll look really sad and I'll say... You feel 14? Damn. 14. I'll say, well, I'm sorry that wasn't going as well as you were hoping, Jorgrim. I thought my song would have changed the tide, but if it's any consolation, they'll probably be calling him Van Brown from now on. So let me get this right. What Farron told me is right. You were cheating as well. Me? No.

I saw your hands. You've made some epic gestures. You didn't cast any magic. What was this? I cheated. I think. Just have a twitch then, eh? Yeah. I don't think that's... Roll deception to see if you can convince them otherwise. Insight? Yeah. Anyone wants to figure out whether he's a liar...

Not that you don't already suspect it. I got a 20, I'd say. Yeah, he's a liar. I don't know. Yeah, well, yeah. Well, no, I only healed your room because you put out an F! 22. Look, all I was doing is that the second he made his first hit on your room, something was up. That hit was too unnaturally for that guy against him.

Thinking about the punch, the initial punch, did that look like raw strength? I mean, he got a crit on his first punch. Yeah, I mean, that was a kidney shot, but it wasn't a dagger blade, and it wasn't a... No. That was an unusually lucky shot, but it was not. It was a fair fight until we began to interfere. Look, he had luck on his side, and I was just giving Yogi some of my luck. That's what I was doing. I don't think that makes it any less cheaty.

I mean, I did cheat because I felt very peer pressured by what you did, and then I saw Jorgrim get bleeding out from the terrible dagger wound, and then I couldn't help myself. I was so into the music. It just has the power to heal sometimes. Lethika, as you're listening to this, you hear the sound of pattering footsteps coming from the alleyway behind you.

I would immediately turn, expecting one of Don Brunt's companions or somebody drunk listening in on us while we're having this private conversation. I would want to make sure that we're alone. You look and you all watch this. All of a sudden, Lethika rolls around and stares down the alleyway behind you and listens and looks intently. And at first, Lethika, you don't see anything at all.

Because you're looking in the wrong space. You hear the sound again and your eyes move from where you would expect to see an adult and move down to where you see a small girl standing in the shadows. And as she sees you notice her, you see Anya make her way out of the shadows.

What?

Everybody's fucking in this tree. I know! I like totally saw it and you're super gross! I saw some dead buttholes! Well, I suppose I can't shield you from those eyeballs that have already been seen. Yorubin, are you like totally okay or are you like totally gonna die? I watched that fight and you could have won if he wasn't like super stupid.

I'll be fine, young lady. So... So... So... So... So what are you trying to... What are you going to tell us? Do you want to see something that's, like, cool, but also, like, horrifying and not cool at all?

Yes, very much. And she, you notice she has a little satchel at her side. I wanted to see that. She reaches in and she pulls out a glass jar that's glowing with the same fungus that Farron had taken from the Hag Hecht. Where did she get that jar? I don't know.

So, like, I found it on the windowsill at the orphanage tonight before I was going to go to bed. And so then I was like, "Well, that's kind of weird, though. I really like it." Um, 'cause look, it's, like, glowing. Oh, and if you shake it, it, like, not glitters, but, like, little lights come off of it, and they dance around, and it's kind of cool. But, so the thing is, like, I'm super scared because the Matron has been spending a lot of time outside in the woods,

And they showed up when she came back. Do you think that's, like, good or bad? You are speaking of Maggie McDuck? Like your toes. Certainly is not good. How are the other children in the orphanage? You know, like, the ones that aren't... The ones that are dead are not doing so well. But the ones that are alive are still like that. No change? Nope. Nothing like the transformation of the... No, but, like, so I was...

not snooping because that would be sinful, but I was like looking around with purpose and other people's stuff. And like, I found a couple more of these jars all over the place.

And they totally weren't there yesterday, I know it. Like you just found multiple jars of this stuff in the orphanage. Yeah, like in different places, and not all of it looks like this. Like sometimes it's mushed up, and like sometimes it's chopped up and stuff. But it's all like this where it's like super green and like illuminating and stuff. And it's all in jars. Is she still holding the jar? Yeah. Will you give your jar that you have here to Ferry? She is.

Do I have to give it away? 'Cause you know, I snooped in someone else's stuff for a long time to get this. That's what I said. I looked with purpose in other people's stuff to get this. Do you want me to open it and give it to her? Okay, so like, am I hearty or no? Yeah, no, sure.

And she hands it out for you. Okay, but so like the real question is, like, I don't want to sleep at the orphanage tonight. I don't sleep. Are you afraid now? Yeah, kind of, you know, like it's just weird. Like all of a sudden she's out in the woods and now like she's back and stuff. Like what if she finds that there's snoop dinner stuff and she gets mad at me and puts me in like a cage or something. What if she gives me to Hugo? Oh my gosh, what if she gives me to Hugo? You should not be afraid of Hugo.

Have you seen the cages on his back? Oh my gosh, if I was in one! Yes, it would be bad to be in one, but... You have put a wonderful and beautiful... Don't you think he might put... Don't you think he might put, like, mean little girls inside of cages? No, he only puts two singles inside of them. So it's not sinful to steal other people's stuff? Not tonight. No, that's definitely sinful. I've been paying attention... Not tonight.

Oh! Not tonight! If I had a nose, I would be doing this. So it was totally okay for me to steal this? I mean, to take it from somebody with purpose because it was important and even though it was their stuff, it's now mine? Well, yes. Would it be bad? I think we need to get into the particulars of it, exactly. But maybe we should...

Walk her home and see if everything's right. No! I don't want to go back there! Can I stay with you? I would have suggested the same, but your room's in no condition. That's true. You can take me back in the morning. I promise I won't put up any fights and I won't go through your stuff as long as you don't leave it out. I'm worried about waiting until morning to get to the orphanage. I don't see any other way. I mean, if presumably this has been going on all time...

- We don't know, right? - I wanna take out the mushrooms that I had gotten from the hut and compare it to the ones in the jar and like see if like, does one look like new growth versus old growth or like, are they the same? - I would say the one that she handed you looks to be fresher. - So you're going to let me stay with you tonight?

And she looks at you like, think about puss in boots in Shrek 2, with her big eyes as she looks out at you. Just for one night, I promise it won't be a nuisance. Anya, have you ever spent a night away from the orphanage before? Yeah, before my parents died. And what was the consequence? What do you mean? Did they punish you for leaving? Well, if I left my house when my parents were alive, I'm sure they would have been real mad. But Maggie, like...

You can't call her that, she gets real mad. I tried to call her Mags once, and she looked at me with daggers in her eyes. It was like, real scary. Oh, your girl knows a thing or two about daggers, and is... person? Flesh? So anyway, like, what I'm trying to say is that I don't even think she'll notice, because like, she went upstairs and went to bed, and when she takes her little tonic, she is like... You know? Sometimes I can see her snoring through the roof.

It is a dangerous night, and I do not think that we will find anything of the orphanage. But you know, if you don't want me, I will go back alone. No, no, you can stay with us. That'll be just fine. Okay, cool. I would like that.

I think maybe we should get off the street. It's pretty late. I would say it's nearing, it's the witching hour now. It's like well past midnight at this point. And Anya definitely looks tired. Jochen, can you stand? Yes. I'm gonna offer my hand to help you up.

I appreciate it. It's okay, Marius. His pride is totally hurt because he just got the shit beat out of him. Well, I didn't want to be that guy, but... Like, no offense. Jorgrim, I think we need to have a conversation about... Have you ever heard the story of the boy that had the wax wings?

No. And he thought he was so strong and powerful, he flew too close to the sun. He flew all the way up to the sun? Well, no, he tried to, and then the sun didn't like it very much, so the sun sent a bunch of evil attack hawks and devoured the boy and tore him into a whole bunch of pieces and even ate him up whole.

That is such a cool story. What I'm getting is that... Don't kiss off the sun, Jorgrim! Have a little bit of humility! I feel like Von Brunn... I didn't even say it now! I feel like I'm watching my friend make mistake after mistake. And I think that Von Brunn cooked you up a big ol' piece of humble pie, and you ate the whole thing in one bite! Do you have more stories like that?

Oh, I got plenty of stories. I also, oh, I think I also have children. Children, most of my stories are great for children.

but they're a little grim, but you're grim, I'm grim, the book is grim, but then no, we got a book. What on earth is he talking about? I'll try to fish out the book. Do I have the book on my person? Was I the last one to have it? What book? The story book. Oh, I have it, I think. Didn't you give it to me? Oh, it's in the bag of holding with creepy arms. Oh, that's right, yeah. That's right.

I was going to ask for it, but then there were horrible riots and... Horrible riots? Such is life. You know, like, we should probably go somewhere where I can crawl into bed and get, like, super comfy. Maybe have a glass of milk and, like, get to sleep. We have a place like that. Let's just make our way. Okay. I would really go for a separate way to walk over to Jericho.

put my giant work hands on my shoulders uh and just say um i know it might seem like just making mistake after mistake or this madness drove me into the pit but you can learn everything you need to know from fighting in one-on-one honorable combat that's not how he met me i had to know if

My feelings about him were driven by anger and clouded my judgment, whereas he was truly what I believed him to be. Well, I guess that makes sense. But I will tell you, being friends with Briggs, I don't think any fight's ever going to be fair in your future.

Or neither fair nor honorable. Well, the only thing that matters to me is that he was the first one to cheat, and nobody did anything until he cheated. Well, I think that's probably true. Also, but I think that you should also say sorry to Marius, because he offered you a hand and you rejected it. I don't think that's very nice or friendly. We should all be more friendly. I feel insert. Excuse me?

Are your feelings hurt? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings with your hand. I just knew that I could stand up. All right. I'm just asking. You said that... You're...

Yes? I was crafted to easily manipulate the feelings of children and simple townsfolk. Can you really do that? Easily manipulate my feelings? I'm a children and also a simple townsfolk. Well, I did just entranse you with the concept of being told a story, didn't I? I know, but you totally didn't do it, Nombril. That's what you mean!

We should get going. The point I'm making is it doesn't matter if someone's feelings are hurt or not. You're trying to be friendly at all costs. That's all I'm saying. We should all be friends. We must get dressed. I have a date at sunrise. Who do you have a date with? Are you going to make the cheesy faces? Are you going to see his butthole? No, I mean an appointment. A time to meet someone. We all do.

Oh, wrong! Um... Marco... Voldo. Captain Voldo. Captain of the Guard. Oh... I'm sort of hoping to see him tonight. He's gonna be back at dusk up, I think. I hope that he's okay. I'm sure he didn't run... I'm sure he and his knights are good at killing mind goblins.

They seemed capable enough. What is a mind goblin? Marius told me all about it. Marius, when we get back to Earth where we're sleeping, can you tell me the story of the mind goblin? I wish I had any idea what you were talking about. But Jericho just said that you told him a story about the mind goblin and all I had to do was ask you and you would tell me a story of a mind goblin. No, I'll tell you a story of the mind goblin. I just want Jorgum to remember the story of the young boy with the wax wings and the horrible sunset demon hawks. So?

Sounds like the boy was very strong and creative until the son cheated and says much of his deeply honest advice. Okay, well, since you don't want to go back and go to sleep, I'm going to walk alone. No, we're not going to go. I'm sorry, little one. I'm sorry, little one. And as with them, they use swiftly for the sake of brevity, make your way back to the house. You use the key to enter inside, and all is quiet. Um...

there is no food left out for you, almost as if they knew that you would be having dinner with the bishop. And it sounds of sleep. You can tell that there are movements. You can see a candlelight under the door of what you know to be Colette's room. And you can see the occasional pacing of what you imagine to be Francois. And you can see the shadow cast by the form of

Colette's mother as she's clearly rocking in a chair, maybe holding her daughter, maybe rocking next to her. But they're clearly in the room with her while they attempt to nurse her back to health from the witch sickness that ideally should be cured in the morning. As you make your way to the bedroom that you have and you get set up in there, it's really easy to pull out enough bedding to make a small spot for Anya to sleep.

somewhere in this room fairly close to you and you all do the things that you do to get ready for bed. Is there anything additional that any of you would like to do?

Privacy, pray, take my mask off, light some incense, put my hair down, just have some char time, you know? Standard. All right. Char time. I just try to, really quick, I would go over to Marius and just say, Jericho is where I travel. I have been on my own for so long.

The last time I had comrades who I don't know how to let others help me. That's what I believe. Yeah, really.

You immediately hear Anya's voice. It was like totally not eavesdropping, but like that's really understandable because most of the kids that are at the orphanage are dead. So like I have a hard time talking to them too. Not the dead ones, but like the live ones. You hear my voice from behind the curtain. You said you were asleep, Anya. I can't go to sleep until someone tells me a story. Jericho promised I could have love. Jericho promised.

I'm watching your room walk away from there. That's... Look at that. We're becoming better friends. And it's okay. I never had any companions before. See, Virgil, I have friends. And stay away from that little one. And we could have a story. If you would hand me the storybook, we'll pick one that the young lady would like the most with the nicest picture. You have, like, a full storybook? That's a good one.

I'm in bed, Jericho. What the cuck in the place of this storybook, dear Jericho? Give me a story! Just ask the creepy bag to give you the book. Oh, uh, Mr. Creepy Bag, if I may call you that. My name is, uh, old Jericho Split. You can call me Jericho Motorspoke, too. Would you mind procuring the children's, uh, storybook?

Book of stories, perhaps? The bag is completely silent.

and there's no motion that comes from it at all. - Ms. Leather Gamera! - Until finally, the mouth of the bag opens up. You don't see any arm emerge, but the storybook is tossed across the room. - Well, thank you kindly. - Thank you. - Thank you, Bag.

Thank you, Beg. That's Derek's favorite thing. I love that you're bonding with him. Well, literally, might as well. He's not getting away from it anytime soon. I'm getting some real Addams Family vibes from Beg, and I'm really into it. Some real Addams Family vibes. I would like to step forward, and I would have put my banjo off to the side, and I would have... Everybody else gets into bed, and they close their eyes. I have stuff I'd like to do as well. Huh? I have stuff I'd like to do as well.

She's gonna continue to be impaired throughout her life. Well, why don't you tell me what you would like to do? Knowing that the Mirabelles are all in the same room together in the house, I would like to sneak about a little bit and kind of go into their master bedroom like we had before, check again for any, all the areas we had checked for like the witch ball, and then I'd also like to go outside the house and, presuming there's a window on Colette's room, check outside the window. It's on the second floor. I'll look up and see if there's fungus on the floor. Okay.

Roll an investigation check for me, please. 20.

I will say you were quickly able to do this and you attempt to get this done before Anya is laid down to bed knowing that any kind of additional movement could wake a child and then you're going to have to read her more stories and it's going to be a two hour long excursion. So you make your way out and you begin checking around the house and outside and your first stop is outside. And you look up and you can see in the window clear as day

that Zephyrine is rocking Anya, or not Anya, is rocking Colette in her arms and she is occasionally placing kisses on her head. You can see Francois pacing back and forth and the outside of the house looks pristine. No signs of fungus whatsoever. As you make your way into the bedroom, you look everywhere for signs of witch balls, etc. and you find nothing.

until you come to the windowsill and you find a jar of fungus. - Got it. - I will, uh... - That had not been there the day before. - I'll slide open the window quietly and take the jar with me, kind of concealing it and working into the room. - Okay. And then, um, you were doing? - Yeah! - You come back into the room, slip into bed,

While that was the case, I would basically pick up the book and I'd say, well, come here little woman and look at the, I don't know if there are pictures in this book. Yeah. I would say, which story would you like to, I would flip through the pages and say like, Where did you get this book? Oh, this book belongs to the little one, which is Colette. This is not true. That's a lie. Where'd you get this book? We found it here in Colette. This is my book.

No, no, this is, this is... Do you have a book like it? This is my book! No, this is my book and it was taken from me when I went into the orphanage. Where did you get this book? And she looks visibly angry. She stands up and stomps her feet and she crosses her arms and she stares down at you. Look at the front page! My initials are on there! A-A, look at it!

I mean, I do occasionally black out. Anya Adelaide, that's my name. I will flip to see the initials. You open it and clear as day, there are the initials A.A. written on the inside of the book. How did that little girl get my book? It's all I had from my family. It's all I had from home. I'm sure she would bring my stuff back on and turn the mess to my face.

I'm sure she would be happy to give it back to you if you explain that it was taken from you. Colette does not seem like the type of youngling that would not want to right a wrong. I'm just going to take it she has no say in my book. Well, I mean, to be fair... And you said tonight I could do whatever I wanted. I could steal! God, she's a bitch. I came back to get us real quick. Damn.

Well, why don't we start with telling a nice story from it, from your book. So you already know all the stories. Why don't you tell me what your favorite one is? My favorite one is, there's one in there and it's about a horrible werewolf and like this little girl that wears a lot of red. And at the end, the werewolf eats everybody.

Well, that sounds like a very pleasant, delightful, age-appropriate story. Yeah, and the best part about it is there is a song in the very back that "Don't go into the Beastwood, don't go and get out! Get out of the Beastwood!" "Go!" "Run!"

Get out! Oh, well, I'll, okay, I'll do, who wants to, I'll be the narrator. Who wants to be the evil werewolf? Little girls should not snore like this. She will be dead soon. Would anyone still care for a bedtime story? I'll write a sleep note.

So who's... Are you asleep? I am. I've been trying to get everyone to calm down and go to sleep. You can tell that I'm still awake, though. So to anyone who is still awake when I return to the room, now that I see that Anya is asleep, I'll kind of lowly whisper, I found something in their bedroom.

Having anticipated this reveal, I will slide back the privacy screen and I'm like dressed and ready to go. What is it? Oh, I woke up like this. Maybe she's bored with it. Maybe it's a mask. Maybe it's a mask. I'll retrieve the jar of mushroom that I take in. This is the jar that the army gave you. I found it on the windowsill.

In their bedrooms. That's right, with the... Mirabelle's? Mirabelle's. The Mirabelle's bedroom. Is it the same substance that they only found? I'm assuming. Yes. Yes. Well, I'm gonna go wake up the rest of the gang. I don't know if they'll be... They might be Mighty Krawls. Hey everybody, wait till we find some fleas!

What? What did you find? No, not you. I just fell asleep. It's too late. I'm awake now. What is it, Jericho? We found another jar on the windowsill. What? The fungus, the mushrooms, the goo. Here at this house? On the windowsill. Is that what's making the children sick? It wasn't on the child's windowsill. It was on the parents'.

Or what, even at their orphanage, the witch balls were under the bed of those that fell ill. Something like that. Uh, this jar, the mushrooms are completely whole. They're not chopped up, they're not mashed. All of them that we found so far have been whole, correct? Uh, no, the ones that you found in the hut, there were some mashed, there were some cut out, there were some whole. Oh, okay. I thought that too. The ones in the jars that Anya brought were, um, were, um...

They were like mashed, etc. None of them were whole. So it was kind of like mushroom paste, like a glowing mushroom paste. Yeah, like a glowing mushroom paste. And I will say, with my roll for little Anya, I know what that mushroom is. What is it? That came from the mines. How do you know that? Because I've seen them before.

In the mines? No, in pictures. The mines were closed up a long time ago, but they used to find us in the mines all the time. They're like along the walls and stuff, like deep underground, and they would give light and stuff. I don't know what they're used for. Is this a story from your book? No, the stories from my book are about lots of people dying and horrible stuff, and they're great. I have a question for you, Fabulous.

Please excuse my ignorance when it comes to things like this, but I... Assuming that this is a bad sign, I always assumed that mushrooms would need to be open and out to cause any real harm to a person. But if that, being in a jar, is enough to harm someone, perhaps we shouldn't be near it.

I'm wondering if it's not what that's been used for. It's only been found on the outside of the homes and it's got quite a light to it. Perhaps it's just a marker. Well, I was... I originally thought that the Witch Balls were marking something as well. Marked for death, almost. So maybe this is another kind of just a marking. Don't you think it would just be too... apparent?

A lot of strange, creepy light. Does seem a little obvious on the nose, you might say. If I were to put my hands around the jar, do I feel sick? Do I feel anything from that? Nope. It's very strange. Little one.

Yeah, what do you want? I'm trying to get sleep. You should have gone back to the orphanage. I'm a bit asleep by now. But I wouldn't have my books, so... Did you see what... Did the matron bring these back? Were any of them used? Well, I assume that she brought them back because they showed up after she got back and she's been spending a lot of time out in the woods. Were they all full? Were all what full?

All of the jars of fungus? No. They were kind of like how that one is, where it's like at the bottom. And all outside? On the sills? The windowsills? No, like all over the place. I found one in the closet. I found one on the table somewhere. I found one underneath the chair. I found like three of them on the windowsill. There was kind of like all over the place. All we can do is confront him as soon as possible.

Sweet. Do you remember from any of your stories of these dangerous mushrooms? I have no idea, I just know that they came out of the mine. It's pretty common, you could really just show basically anyone them and ask like, "Hey, do you know what this is?" And like literally anyone in town would've been like, "Oh yeah, I've totally seen that." I mean, I think that leads Credence to thinking that the mushrooms themselves probably aren't dangerous. Well, it means that someone has been going in there to board it at mine. That's right.

That is pretty freaky, because they closed that place off, you know. The Templars are there now. Surely they would find some evidence of it not being abandoned all this time, right? Then tomorrow, when Sir Marco is coming back, tomorrow, right? And he's going to meet us in the square, right? Then he...

So we can bring him to the jars, and then we can take him-- You should totally ask him! See if he sees that any are down there. Like, I'm really good help, you should keep me. Have you talked about adopting, like, a little, like, you know, seven-year-old girl? Has it, like, crossed your mind? Like, once? No, yes it has! Really?!

Yeah, I think we'd love that. Yes, of course. I'm so excited. I can't wait to get back to the orphanage. I'm going to tell the matron that I've been adopted. Yes! He means in a more metaphorical sense. Not literally adopting you. We do very dangerous things. Okay, but I really need to go to bed now, so can you all shut up and let me get some sleep? I really need to go to bed, too. This whole sleeping thing is new since the whole thing, and I really enjoy it now. You understand? Well, you know when you leave, you won't be able to do it.

Oh, I guess if you get your thing, then yeah, you will be. I'm going to enjoy it more or less. All the way. Do I remember in what context we heard about people going mad from the mines? You're not going mad from the mines necessarily, but you know that Knights Templar were going out there because of the witch problem. That was the general direction. They were dancing firelight in that general direction. And knights were not coming back.

We found their bodies, right? So I'm conflating the madness that we were meant to think of. The witch diseases. There were adults that were going mad. The children were going sick. Were getting sick. The mushrooms that we got out of the hut, do I remember that when we went back at the, like when I pulled them out later, that they had begun to glow less?

Do I remember that? Nope. I would say they haven't grown much. They're just like slowly starting to, you know, they're not in the earth anymore, so they're starting to decay and return to earth. I guess that's my question. So it's not like they're eternally fresh. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm getting at. So we know because these are glowing brightly that they were freshly picked. Interesting. I worry that the presence of this, even in the containers they're in,

Do I get high? Do I get high?

I would say, there will be no rule for this, you sniff it and you watch as a couple of these green spores are essentially inhaled into your nose and you immediately see as her irises glow with a faint lilac light before quickly shifting back to their regular color.

I guess I don't see that. No. But you don't feel anything different. I take several steps back and cover my face with a cloth. Oh, stand up. No, no, put it in the jar, the jar lid, lid, lid. Put it on. Okay, there we go. Good job, Miss Farron. Your eyes went a little kooky. A little, a little, uh, purple-y. Is it purple? Is it, is it, they went violet. Like. Oh. Lilac, lilac. What's the difference? Not normal. I don't think.

We don't have many mirrors out in the forest. I assume that's a change? That must be what they're using. Who are the Witchballs? Witchballs are killing people. Who? Who? And these things are to make people sick. Who the fuck knows why they do any of this? I don't know if I should have this. Uh, maybe Mr. Bag? He's the bag, he's the bag, he's the bag.

It didn't seem to be making me sick in the jar, but... He's the bag. Just to be safe. He's the bag. He's the bag. I do agree. If you begin to feel ill, we may not be able to help you. We need you. I'm sure I'll be alright. I mean, if you don't tell me...

I'm just kidding. I know. I have a five second delay. I sure as nothing could come out of your mouth. My teen's face, he looked like he was going to puke. Oh, I'm going to puke. Fair enough, General Wendt. I'll carefully place each of the three jars into the bag. Every single time, it's like.

Yep. The hand just reaches up and takes it and pulls it in. It kind of greases nicely. Mushrooms have never been good ghosts. We need to talk about your history with mushrooms at some point in your life, but now's not the time. You all feel it is now almost 3, 4 o'clock in the morning, and if you're going to get enough rest to be able to meet up with the captain of the guard, then you're going to have to go to sleep fairly soon. I'm already behind my screen.

We enter in bed, pulling my hair down, I'm taking off my mask, saying a quick prayer, goodnight. Well, we have our plan, and I think it's a good one. I'll go to the broom closet. And you all settle in for sleep, and as you slowly start to drift off, you hear, Goodnight, new mom and dads! Goodnight, Anya.

As you settle down for the evening, your body's weary, the screams of the evening's witch trials still echo in your ears. After much restlessness, you are finally able to drift off to sleep, and you all dream. The exact same dream. The darkness of slumber is shattered by amber light that surrounds and consumes you. It radiates from a spot in the distance that slowly grows and grows as the sound of church bells clang around you.

Soon, all you can see is amber as the tolling bells turn to a deafening drone of reverberating musical metal. Within the amber light, you see seven dark shapes looming over you, all horned and winged as they bellow out guttural, malevolent roars. You stare at them in horror as something begins to overtake you, uncontrollable emotions rising up from the very core of your beings. You all feel sinful.

You feel the need to indulge wholly in the respective sin that has been threatening to consume you. Suddenly, the overwhelmingly tempting allure of sin abates, and darkness returns in an instant. Around you, the sound of gnashing maws and tearing flesh erupts into the darkness, as if some grotesque feast is playing out ahead of you.

Through the darkness, you see the silhouettes of two beastly figures hunched over an unmoving third. As each creature illuminates in the darkness, you see the blood and gore of a macabre meal. A huge and grotesque centipede and pigeon devour the entrails of a disemboweled weasel. The two vermin stop their feasting to slowly turn their eyes on you, and they are the color of lilac.

Immediately, the horrid, bestial dinner is swallowed by shadow once more, and all that remains in the darkness are two tiny red motes of light that continue to grow and grow. You stare into two glowing red eyes peering from the hood of a cloaked feminine shape as it slowly walks toward you. You see nothing but its silhouette and the orbs of light within, as a strange woman stops before you and reaches up to pull back her hood.

With a swift motion of her hands, she lets the robe fall from her body and pool at her feet. As your eyes focus on the body before you, you are not met with the form of a woman, but instead, shrouded in darkness, a goat skull sits before you. In its darkened eye sockets, two red gems illuminate the darkness as they glaze with ruby light. You stare in horror as the skull stares back at you. And then, the skull begins to grow.

It increases in size as the silence of the dark is pierced by the sound of slithering flesh. The skull grows muscle, tended, sinew, blood vessels, then skin as it transforms into a horrific, bestial goat with twisted, ebony horns. Its bulging red eyes squish around the blazing rubies as coarse black hair grows from the newly formed skin.

The head of a monstrous demonic black goat stares at you with horizontal, nearly rectangular pupils before letting out a horrifying bleat. A hexagram of runic magic quickly frames its animalistic face as behind it glows the terrible light of the hag moon. The crone-like face of it twisting and moving as it opens its gnarled mouth and swallows the goat head hole. It then turns its craterous eyes toward you and an ancient voice croaks out two words.

Oh no.

What's going on? I leave the room closet. Did anyone have a dream? I just had a dream. What did you dream about? Yes. I dreamed about a horrible face and a goat and monsters and seven things and... I'm looking out the window while he's describing this to Lucas. And the moon. And the moon? No, I had the same fucking dream. It was a shared dream. The only question I have in my mind was, was it shared by just us six?

Or the city. Little one! Little one! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Why are you waking me up? I was asleep for like two minutes. Oh, are you having pleasant dreams? No, I wasn't having any dreams at all. Okay, good night. Have a good night. Sweet dreams. Sweet dreams. Go to sleep. No, no. She has to wake up. Does it smell like a house on fire? Wake up, Anya. It does not. Okay.

I would say you're easily quickly able to run over to the window and you see that you scan the horizon of Cyril and this house is very close to the cathedral, the highest point of the city. You're able to see out over everything before you. And at first you don't see it as smoke is billing everywhere. And then your eyes notice it, the orphanage in flames. - We need to go. We should go. Is this, is this Austin? An accident?

And I'll get my hat on, or I'll get dressed. Yeah, I'll get ready to go. I'll get my banjo. I'll get my banjo. I'll pull one boot off and go out the door. It's no accident right after we all shared that dream, it's not over yet. Even if she is dead. We bring her. Make sure she stays safe. You're right.

She looks up to you, Jorgren, and she reaches up her arms. Abby, Abby! I pick her up and I put her on my shoulders. She rests her back on the tombstone and her legs dangling. She wraps her arm around your neck and she kisses your cheek. Thank you, new dad. Comfortable.

- Yes, comfortable as I can be. And you see, as she looks out and her eyes begin to water as one tear rolls down her cheek as she looks towards the orphanage where if it hadn't been for you, she would have been tonight. - It's all right, young lady. We're gonna make this right. Just hold on tight. - She squeezes and holds on to you. - Not that tight! - Oh, sorry, I'm like really hearty. - I finished getting ready my mom

I reattach my mask to make sure that it's totally firm. Shall we? I'm sorry, we're going to have to skip our time with the captain, but we must make our way to the orphanage. Agreed.

I hope to see you home. The captain's in town, I'm sure he's at the fire. Agreed, let's go. Yes, honey. You quickly don everything that you have with Arabelle in tow, you begin to make your way out of the house. You see that the Mirabelles are also dressing and you can see that Zephyrine has Colette clutched tightly to her

They don't speak to you, but they knowingly look at you, not trying to hold you up as you rush quickly out of the house. Hope you're feeling better.

You sprint through the streets of Cyril, past the townsfolk who run away from the direction you're heading, their eyes filled with fear. As you turn the corner, you see the source of the orange glow even more present. The Cyril orphanage is completely engulfed in flame. The sound of shouting knights and the members of the fire brigade undercut the roar of the inferno. The sounds of shrieking children pour out from the shattered windows as if being chased by the licking flames.

You approach as quickly as you can. Ladders are propped against the side of the orphanage as knights impotently attempt to save the children within. The fire brigade uselessly throw basins of water onto the blaze. When you finally arrive, you are met with a sound far more horrifying than the sound of screaming. The sound of silence. The painful quiet of death as the shrieking ceases entirely from within the burning building.

As soon as the last whimpering voice is extinguished within the blaze, the fires flare up and the hue shifts from orange to purple. In a horrifying moment of deja vu, you hear a deafening cacophony above you once more that nearly ruptures your eardrums. However, rather than the horrific cries of agony that had just been piercing the morning air of Cyril, malevolent cackle rings out across the land, a laugh so thunderous that it shakes the very foundations of Cyril itself.

The malicious, gleeful cackle fades into the silence of death as the lilac flames engulfing the orphanage return to a raging orange. You cast your eyes skyward and the moon gazes back.

no longer the soft silver surface it had been the night before. Returning your gaze with malice and vindication, the face of a grinning hag stares down at you. Her lips part as she smiles wickedly at you all. The hag looms overhead, now larger than ever before. And that is where we will end the session. That's fucked up. It's not over yet.

Oh my god. Oh, we got more midnight. Oh, this is over. Richie knew better. I cast instant diarrhea on him.

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