Edge of Midnight | Ep. 19 | Turned to Sin
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Nikki Scarlet and you're listening to Edge of Midnight. Here is what happened last time. Tomorrow night at the witching hour, the night of sin and then rebirth. You have Anya.

Me neither. Neither do you. As Hugo slams down directly in front of you. We are not an illusion. We are here. We are your friends. Please. Please. Yes, I am here. You have to stop him if it isn't the heroes of Zero. And lying in front of it, tied up and wiggling and crying.

is the form of Anya. And then you watch as the eyes shift to brown and the skin below her eyes begins to sag and her body begins to elongate as she lets out a loud cackle.

You're so stupid, Jorgrim! I'm going to follow this little girl, I'm going to give her her storybook back, I'm going to protect her from all the evils in this land, all the while giving me the tools I need. Thank you for saving me, your mother Midnight. Well, this is it. That classic moment of every story where a terrible betrayal is revealed.

But I suppose we all should have seen this coming a mile away. After all, it was mighty convenient for one little girl to be so close to the action but so lucky as not to end up dead like the other children in this chapter. Trust is a fickle thing, so hard to earn and so easily burned. We'll see if our protagonists ever trust again. But first, they gotta survive what's about to happen.

I do believe this is what they've been calling the Night of Sin. You all stand in the large stone chamber beneath the cathedral as the horrible image of a ritually sacrificed Anya Adelaide lingers in your mind. However, with reality before you, the truth may actually be worse.

It's nearly impossible to believe the little girl that you've protected throughout almost your entire time in Cyril was Mother Midnight herself. Yet the aged witch stands before you clutching your grim with an almost childlike mischievous glee.

Poor Yorkey. You look so surprised. I am so sorry that all of your hearts have to break like this. But you see, there's a silver lining. A broken heart is so much easier to manipulate.

Suddenly, the room is flooded with amber light, and you all feel a racking agony all over your entire bodies and from within your very souls as you see what truly has been locked away deep beneath the Cathedral of the Blinding Light. You stand surrounded by seven huge amber monoliths, pulsating with a terrible fiendish glow, with winged dark shapes undulating within. Beams... Yeah, shut up, that's my word.

Beams of amber energy wriggling with shadow tether you to each respective monolith as you are paralyzed in the overwhelming sin that nearly consumes you.

You see, the Knight of Sin needs its heralds, and you have so graciously volunteered with such dark power harbored deep within each of your souls. Now all you have to do is let go, relax, and let the metamorphosis happen. It will all be over soon.

Each of you feels the demonic presence swirl around you as you hear low guttural muttering. Each Balor trapped within the Amber attempting to make its way into your very essence and anima.

Marius, you smell the stench of decaying human flesh and hear the rattling of shambling bones as your vision turns to a bloated beast of stitched undead flesh with a boar's skull head, waving a jet black scepter radiating with necrotic energy as you feel wrath start to overwhelm you.

Jericho, you smell fresh blood and hear the clanking of metal on metal as your vision turns to a tall, slender creature halfway between man and bird with long, gyrating neck and ghastly white feathers stained with the gore of countless victims. Jagged knives spinning in its talons as you feel envy start to overwhelm you. Beren.

You smell ancient stone and hear the whipping of sand on the- oh sorry that's Briggsie. Farron, you smell fresh paint on canvas and hear the chittering of nocturnal creatures as your vision turns to a voluptuous crowned woman with bat-like features. Large feathery wings stretching as far as you can see. A barbed whip in her hand as you feel lust start to overwhelm you.

Briggsie, you smell ancient stone and hear the whipping of sand on the wind as your vision turns to a six-legged sphinx with midnight blue fur and a viper for a tail, its front legs swirling together to form a pulsing portal as you feel greed start to overwhelm you.

Lethika, you smell unsettling potent perfumes and colognes and hear the hissing of a writhing serpentine mass as your vision turns to a gaunt black-eyed man wreathed in thousands of wriggling albino snakes, raising a regal staff high in the air as you feel pride start to overwhelm you.

Your grip. You smell hot tar and potent acids as you hear the pop of bubbling, viscous goo as your vision turns to a colossal, undulating shape of black, red, and green ooze with bulbous pustules bursting, extending its sticky tendrils in all directions as you feel sloth start to overwhelm you. And then, all you see is mist. Mist.

You realize now that the amber light that has been blinding you and turning you to sin has been swallowed by thick gray mist that rapidly pours from Bergrim's lantern, filling the room and shrouding you. You hear the voice of Mother Midnight let out an irritated hiss. It was not her who did this. "What are you doing, Georgie? You're supposed to be tired. Why don't you take a nap?"

Then, the mist swirls all around you and begins to take shape as you see a faint ghostly green glow above you, and a detached feminine voice echoes through the gloom. He does not take orders from you. He belongs to me.

It's now that you see the shape that the form within the mist is taking. It's little more than a silhouette, but it seems to be a hooded woman in a shroud. Two motes of green spectral light where eyes might be is the only semblance of a face. You realize now that she is rising up not just from the lantern on Jorgram's back, but from within him as well.

You watch as a projection of the entity can only be one known as the Maiden of the Mist looms over Mother Midnight, who now looks incredibly tiny, almost childlike in comparison. Despite being dwarfed by the misty being, Mother Midnight lets out a mocking cackle. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh no, this is so unexpected. You arrived earlier than you were supposed to. Not very polite of you. I suppose Mother needs to teach you manners. You all watch as the snaking tendrils of eldritch amber energy tethering Jorgim's soul to the amber monolith, imprisoning Veternus, the sloth for Balor of Jubilex, slowly shifts from that orangey gold to a dark gray mist as the maiden speaks once more.

You, child of the night, bride of the beast. You may have the gift of second sight and blood of death and fate in your veins, but the realm you make claim upon and draw power from is my domain. And the fiends you've brought through my mist have no place here.

In an instant, you see the glow of the power of the land radiate from with all of you as the mist around you changes colors, as does the demonic tethers connecting each one of you. Blue for water, green for earth, yellow for air, intentionally purple for fire, black for void, and white for spirit.

And within that glowing power you see shapes take form above you in the mist. The master of crossroads, the beast of blight, the demon of secrets, the duchess of sin, the lady of loss, and the maiden of the mist. The dark gifts form their dark hold on your very souls, completely overwhelms the eldritch amber and you hear six cacophonous cracks.

In a burst of amber light through the mist, you see the incorporeal shadowy form of six Baelor writhe in agony as each of their amber monoliths shatter and their forms are completely swallowed by the mist itself until there is nothing left at all. They've been banished from Draskinvald once and for all.

Then, just as quickly as they emerged, the shapes of your dark patrons disappear into the mist as it swirls together above Yorghrim, causing the maiden to loom larger over Mother Midnight for just a moment, before even she herself loses form and an amorphous cloud of mist rockets downward and crashes into the witch.

She lets out a shriek of pain as the dense mist, now howling with the wails of tortured souls and glowing with that haunting spectral green, washes over mid-mother midnight and seeps into every pore.

Streaking gray and green veins snake all over her form as her eyes flash with haunting light as she is wracked with pain. However, despite the assault of the maiden, the old crone extends a hand and immediately a rickety broom appears in it. She hops on and rises into the air as she glowers at the cowering form of Archbishop Danton Alexander Renault, who has been forced to watch helplessly as he impotently tries to open the unmoving stone door to this chamber.

With another wave of her hand, a blast of amber energy shoots from the only remaining monolith directly to his face, creating a tether that surrounds his entire head. You, you foolish, sad little man. It is time for you to finally make yourself useful. The only way any holy man ever has, by falling from grace.

Immediately, the amber beam pulses and the dark shape within the monolith of gluttony gyrates and undulates wildly. Archbishop Renault's eyes go wide with fear as he falls to his knees, not in prayer, but to grovel. He looks up with tears in his eyes, clasping his hands together in a pleading manner. Please, my mother, I did all that you asked. I betrayed my lord. I betrayed my god. I did it all.

You said I would be spared from the night of sin. You said I could finally eat my fill. Please. Mother Midnight rides higher into the air atop her simple broom of wooden straw, slowly moving her bony fingers in a ritualistic pattern as she pitifully looks down on the archbishop like a mother might look upon a child who scraped their knee. Do not worry, my child. You will eat your fill. You will feast on sin.

Archbishop Renault shrieks in pain as his eyes fill with tears and you hear crack as his jaw unhinges, and the amber beam connects directly to his gaping mouth.

In a single terrible pulse that fills the room, the dark shape within the monolith rockets through this beam and drives itself into the helpless Archbishop, forcing its way down his throat and into his stomach with a sickening bulge. Then Archbishop Danton Alexander Renault begins to transform.

His broken, bloated body twists and grows as his skin begins to turn to stone and his eyes turn to a terrible fiery blue. As he swells and sighs, his body turns angular, his hands turn to huge claws, and a second pair of arms rips out of his torso, as do two colossal bat-like wings and a long, slithering scorpion-like tail.

All the while he does not stop swelling. Soon his shoulders press against the stone ceiling of this chamber, causing the entire room to shake as not one, not two, but three additional moaning heads grow from his neck until where once a simple man cowered before you now stands a colossal, four-armed, four-headed gargoyle that smashes the bricks above.

With a loud rumbling and clatter, you witness the main chamber of the cathedral above collapse into the room around you as Archbishop Renault in his new form looms tall over you, looking between you with eight hungry eyes and four hungry jaws. Mother Midnight flies up to his eye level and tenderly places a small hand on the side of one of the stone faces. She has gotten her pain under control, but she is very clearly suffering from whatever affliction was unleashed upon her by the Maiden of the Mist.

Bon appétit.

Finally, I get to eat now.

I need you all to roll for initiative. - Let's go! - Great descriptions, great fucking descriptions. - Oh, it fell off the table. - I know him, I know him. - My boss is terrible, but I rolled well.

- Jedi flip? - Yes, please. - Oh, that is so cool. - Place your minis. - I will say, when you're describing Danton, for some reason, I have like a million percent thought you were gonna say, as he impotently attempts to open his tin of Turkish delight.

Instead of the door? What a fucking missed opportunity. He totally should have been there licking his fingers. Just completely on the main event. He's like, ooh, a strawberry. A last sardine.

The smell of the ice cream. Hold on while I put my last night's fish dinner in the company microwave. No, way worse than that. This will go straight to my thigh.

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We were actually all going to fucking die. Yeah. We almost died to a liver monster. Some of us. Some of us did. Oh, yeah. Some of us literally died. I did warn the party before we started that this was monologue with Session, so they were prepared. Oh, every Avengers boss fight starts with 80 pages. It is tradition. It has definitely become tradition. That's for sure. Yeah.

- It's like, okay, we're entering the boss chamber. There's a cut scene. There's always a cut scene. - Okay, so I do have to, I don't have the rest of that. So, Monsters 2 is gonna be lair action. Actually, I'll do Monsters 1 as lair action.

Okay, 20 to 25. 20. I guess I should also roll. Oh, I should probably open up my 23. Oh, wow. So, support's going first. I see, those are, oh. He's got little heads. Okay, 15 to 20. 19. 15.

Where can we get it? Wow. And then, Briggsie, Jorgen, what did you get? Twelve. Seven. Perfect. Let me begin. All right. There we go. We have an initiative order. Look at that. Looks beautiful. All right. So...

Let's hope I can remember how to run a block fight. We are, I guess, yeah, we're starting off with his lair action. So let me go through these 18 pages. Oh my God. I don't think so. He's got lair actions? I thought he was a normal mob. You watch as Archbishop Blythe

Danton Alexander Renault, we'll just call him the note pope going forward. You watch as Danton moves forward, the archbishop moves forward, and he is slavering. You can see the spit just pouring out from the mouths that are now...

that have now formed from the stump of his neck as his heads look in all different directions, eyeing each of you for which one looks the most tasty, the most delicious. And he is going to, yeah, he is, he is going to, yeah, he is going to do Last Supper.

I think my mind varies. It does not look at all tasty. He is going to perform duct tape. Oh, yes, because you were all there. I need you all to make a wisdom saving throw for me, Glam. All of those? Yes. Oh, gosh, damn. Oh, okay. I feel pretty good about this. Come on. All right. Not bad. Not bad. 19. I feel good.

- Not bad, 15. - 21. - 20. - 25. - Okay. - Jericho? - Jericho? - I got a 18. - There are six of you? - Yeah. - Letheka, Jorgren, I'm using two Twists of Dread. I want you both to reroll. - Ooh, okay, okay. Oh no.

Juice smoked? Yeah, it looks like it. Yeah, I would propose-- Okay. No, we can't do that. We can't twist it. Okay, I'll eat it. Oh no, you B8. B8. 17. Okay, you watch as

All of a sudden, the eyes on this entity stare forward and you all see a lavish feast projected in the room around you. And for a moment, you all feel inclined to eat.

and you are able to shrug it off. You still feel the presence of your being in front of you. Lethika, however, you can't shake that feeling. You are hungry, so very hungry, and you begin to eat up this lavish feast. You are now paralyzed for one minute. - Oh my god! - One minute? - What the hell? - Is that a charm?

- Would we know? - I'm gonna say no. - Yeah, I was about to ask that same question. - So you and you? - Mm-mm. - Oh, just he saved on his twist of dread. - There's no bacon on this. - I mean, I had to use two twists of dread for that, so. - More of that. - Fucking me. - I think it's worse. - Good lord. - You can repeat the save at the end of your turn, which is literally right now. - Great timing. - So go ahead and repeat that save. - 21.

Jesus. You begin to shovel this food into your mouth. And just as quickly as you begin to do so, your eyes clear, you smell smoke and burning wood. And it wrenches you out of this trance as you realize you're eating nothing. There's nothing here.

And you come to yourself in that moment. Jericho. Jericho, give me strength. I am... Brigzy, what was your roll again? Eight. Seven. Okay. It was eight or seven. I was 12. Yeah. Um...

Dungeon Master? What, Michael? Does this... Does he look fiendish? By any means? He looks like a gargantuan fiend. Little baby eyes to blink at you. Um... Um...

I'm going to say, um, I'm gonna walk over to Lethika, 'cause I look up at him, and I'm gonna pluck on my banjo, and I'll say, uh, "Yummy, yummy, yummy, you got sardines in your tummy," and I am going to touch Lethika, and give you protection from evil, against fiends. Which means that attacks against you by any fiends,

are disadvantaged and you cannot be charmed, frightened, or possessed by fiends. - Well, that's great. Congrats, Kelsey. - Thank you. I get all the breaks, I really do. - And with that same motion, I'll say, "Lezica, I think that you need this, "and I don't mean that in a condescending way." And I'll give you bardic inspiration. - Is that Sylvie's, but no offense? - And that's bardic inspiration for you as well. - What is a sardine?

- What? - Thank you, thank you, Jaren. - You missed the entire meta conversation we had. - That's my turn. - All right, with that, it is the archbishop's turn. Who is within five feet? - I'm dead in front. - Yeah, you're the closest. - Yeah, he's the closest. I think I'm 10 feet away. - That sounds so exciting.

You immediately take two fire damage as an aura of flames whips around the Archbishop and it singes into your flesh.

And so that's it for him. Well, not that's it for him. He is then going to... Marius, are you within 10 feet of him? Yeah, 10 feet. Briggs, are you within 10 feet of him? Yes, he is. Okay, perfect. He is going to make three attacks, three of them on you.

- I need to. - Does he have reach? - Yeah. - That's why I said 10. - He's got long arms, I presume. - That changes what I'm gonna do. - So for Briggsie does... Does 17 hit? - No. - Oh shit. Okay, so he misses on you. Roll the five.

- Someone wanna loan me their dice? - Uh oh. - No, I'm not actually gonna use your dice. Okay, so he is, yeah, those would all miss. So he is gonna do, 'cause he has four attacks, so. So he's gonna do the fourth one on Briggsie again. 'Cause he has the 13 plus eight, it's 13 plus eight, that's 21, that's gonna hit.

31? Yeah. No, no, 21. You barely missed, that's not it. 21, okay, perfect. Thank you. 31, holy shit. So he is going to do, I can't believe that I rolled so fucking poorly. Well, that one rolled nice. That was max damage for that claw. 14 points of slashing damage and you are grappled by him. There it is.

14's not so bad. He is then, because he does have you grappled, you watch as all four of the heads turn towards Briggsie. The arms lash out and try and grab at you, but Briggsie's the only one that they're able to find purchase on. As they pull him into the archbishop, you watch all of the heads in tandem turn and begin to lick their lips as he's going to attempt to devour you. I'm not even within 10 feet! He's...

They said you were, so I'm saying you were. You're within 10 feet. I'm not. We grave chunk. I've already worked for it twice, damn it. So you're within 10 feet. This is what you do when you walk away. That's what happens. I asked. They said yes. 21 to hit. All right. So you are going to take...

15 piercing damage. You are swallowed. On top of the damage you already took? Yes. You are swallowed, blinded, and restrained. Okay. At the start of each of your turns, you can take, well, something. Sorry. And...

Yeah, that's where you're at. You're now inside of his stomach. You watch as one of the heads, one of the mouths, almost like a snake, the jaw unhinges as it consumes Briggsie whole. You can see his body as it tumbles slowly down the neck of this creature and you hear a loud acidic hissing and pop as Briggsie's body lands into the acidic belly of this entity.

It is very large, but you can see the form of Briggsie as it tries to move around inside of this. Do you have a chance to react at all? Just like... Do you have a reaction? Yes! So I'll just say, oh, that was such a nice monologue, and I'll feel a firm hand on my back. I see it, and I turn to... Ah, fuck!

I'll bet you all there were gonna attack. You can thank your friends, I asked, all right? I can't see. You were right there, we can check the tent. I was right here. You were there? No, I was here, I literally saw it. We can check the tent. I believe Andy.

That's what I'm going to say. I believe Andy. Touch piece, move piece. So yes, that is his turn. Just think about how much worse that would have been if he had not failed every single one of his hits. Marius, it's your turn. You just watch as the Archbishop swallows Briggsie Holt.

I will, uh, his attack will have clanged off my shield. And I will, uh, yell, Briggsie! No! Lathander! Please give me the power to aid him! And my sword will alight and I will dash at him and make two attacks. You got a lot of power. Dude, same.

- That's not a good start. - If he twists something, at least get to do one twist. - I would say at least do one. Every, he has up to a lot of hits around, depending on what happens. - What's the AC? - 18. - This is chapter 19. I think you missed an opportunity to make the AC 19. - Yes. - No.

- That one's out. - Yeah, good. - Okay, it's 19. - Five. - Idiot, done. - AC's 95. - Oh yeah, his AC just went up to 95. - 17 points of damage. - Oh, okay. - So it's fire if it matters. - Yes, it does. Can you tell me how much fire? - Six of it is fire. - Okay, and so that's 11 points of damage. - Sorry, Andy. - Wow, I'm in trouble. My fire sword does nothing. - He's resistant.

He's immune to fire. He's a battle or a mountain. Immune. It's a battle. Well, I'm not going to be very much of an engineer. You slice into him and you see that where the fire hits his flesh, it intermingles with the swirling aura of fire around him. You are going to take six points of damage as you hit him with your melee attack. It is fire damage, if that matters for you. And...

- And he does take a little bit of damage, but his heads are moving this way and that he seems completely undeterred by the damage that you've done to him as he is hungry. - Not good, not good. - He's a hungry. - Varyn. - I have a long one. I'm gonna just try this and not ask a good question. So sorry. - I don't think that's wrong at all. - This game is all about rolling dice. - I am going to try. - Try and fun shit. - Yeah, I'm gonna try some fun shit.

- Oh, Lethika, Jericho and Marius, I all need you to make a constitution saving throw for me, please. And Farron, because it's your turn. - 20? - Con you say? - Yes, constitution. - Eight. - 13. - 23. - 23? - Yeah. - You said eight? - Yeah, I failed. My con's not very good. - You keeping it?

- All right. - You are interested, you are, I'm gonna actually, I have to undo your damage Andy, I'm sorry.

You are instantly petrified as all of you, when you start your turn, this gargoyle form, this gluttonous gargoyle form, being within a certain amount of range of him, you feel yourself turning to stone. And as you looked at him, you failed by more than five. So you are instantly petrified. Yeah, that tracks. The rest of you, what did you get?

18. 13. So you are not interested. Instantly petrified. That's not five or more. But you do feel your limbs stiffen a little bit as there is some kind of magical effect overcoming you. Okay. So you have failed, but you didn't fail as badly as Andy. I didn't feel hard. Yeah, I didn't feel hard. So you get the twist back. But you do get the twist back.

- Yes, that's true. 'Cause I had Dundas damage, sorry. - I used one to attack. - I think we make two now. - When we return it, we make poopy sound. - Bless me. Or you could use that twist to try not to be petrified. Andy's like, "I'm just pissed." - It's done. - It's sealed within. - You're spoken. - Yeah, exactly. - I'm sorry. - I was gonna do any damage anyway.

It's going to be Mourning Lord as in he's, like, sad. He's mourning. Yeah, mourning with an OU. Oh, that's sad. I don't like that. Okay. I am going to...

skirt up around here. Make note if you made the save because if you successfully save against Turn to Stone, you are immune for 24 hours. Dang! Or if you are able to overcome it. So if some way you can get... You'll have a chance. You'll have a chance. I'm a little stiff. Yes. So basically you will have at the end of your turn, you get to make another save.

or you're petrified or you succeed. - Okay, so I didn't pass it, I just didn't give a fuck. - You just didn't immediately turn to stone. - Okay. - It's slowly turning you to stone. - Yeah, you're like half effective. - And if you can do something to un-petrify, if you can stop making Mary a stone cold Steve Austin, he will also be immune to it. - I literally have no idea how to do that. - Probably some sort of thing. - I think we have to kiss him.

I mean, I guess if anyone else wants to do it, I guess I can do it. I'll take one from the team. This was in the book. This was in the book. We can answer my promise. I'll run up the side of where Briggsy has been kind of snatched from. Oh, good, Briggsy.

I'll spit them out. And I will fling out from my hand and you'll see kind of like these wicker, like a wicker spike fly towards the abbot. The abbot? The archbishop. You can call him an abbot if you want. The archbishop, sorry. His middle name's Costello. I don't know.

What a great middle name. Yeah, and so, okay, so this kind of wicker spike will fly out from my fingertips towards him. Not 23 to hit. That hits. Okay, so he will take...

10 piercing damage and then as it hits him, it will start to shatter and explode and you'll kind of see like a tinges of brown mold from within the wicker that will cause some cold damage. So the reason I didn't ask about this, it does affect the target in anyone within five feet, but because of the size of the target, I came from this direction hoping maybe it doesn't hit them because he's such a large bastard. - Oh, please.

If anyone within five feet of him, it says the target in each creature within five feet must sit, oh, I'm sorry, you would have to do a dexterity. Well, I automatically fail. Yeah, but I mean like-- What am I taking? What does he get? But Andy, you can undo that damage because you didn't hit him because you were paralyzed immediately. Okay. So you-- I'll keep it since Farron is so happily just doling it back out. So can you read that to me again? Okay.

The target and each creature within five feet of it must succeed on a dex saving throw or take two d6 full damage. - Okay, so Briggs is gonna fail automatically because he's inside of it. - Well, I'm not even within five feet of it. - Hear me out, though. - I'm inside these. - Yes, which is even worse. - He's within negative five feet.

- It's not like here though. You see what I mean? But it's within five feet of the creature. - What's the move? - It's ice knife is what it is. It's reflavored to not be illegal. - Oh, hold on, hold on. What are you targeting? Are you targeting a creature or are you targeting a point on the ground?

I think it's a creature, I think you have to target a creature. It would explode and go around his mass to hit them. It's a giant explosion, trust me. Okay, I think that does make sense, that if Rixie is swallowed, he would have full cover. So it will hit Marius and Jorgrim. That does ask a serious question of do I still take damage while petrified?

Yeah, yeah. I don't see why you wouldn't. I don't know. I don't know. Hold on, I need to read this. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. You automatically fail strength and dex. Oh, I knew that one.

- But you do have resistance to all damage. So you are resistant. - Sweet! - And you're immune to poison and disease. - Oh, silver linings. - So. - Okay, so you are immune to some damage type, just not gold. - Yeah. - Okay. - That was truly good luck.

Seven. So you would take three. I think I'd do it. I think I'd do 15. And he got a 17 for his dex. You all fail. No. That's wrong. 16. I got a 17. Sweet spot. Not your mom, my friend.

- I just don't want to be the one to die. - How much damage did I take? - Seven. - Nice. - Sorry. - Does he take anything? - This is really amped up. - So he does take the piercing. - Yeah, he did. The 10 piercing. - Wait, did I take 10 piercing? - No, no, no. - Just the archbishop, not you.

- Yep. - Good luck buddy. - We haven't even finished round one of combat and they're already demoralized. - Yeah, this is not going according to the way that we drafted up our plan. - I really thought that logic was gonna work out for me. - This is not the strongest party. - Dare you to the nine hells!

um not you witch yeah evil witch unintentionally um i i

I burst into mists and I would charge this MFing guy. I don't have to go very far because I'm just touching him, but... You don't have to do anything. You can just reposition if you want. Part damage is Shovel. Part damage is the Vengeance of My Ancestors, if it matters. It might. You never know. That's a natural one. I'll twist. Yeah, we're...

- I'm gonna roll a different dice here. I'm gonna roll a different dice. - Oh yeah. - Awesome. - Much better. - Like a 25. - Perfect. - I'm gonna try to hit him. - He's only, I will just say it so you guys know, he's only immune to fire and poison, so. - Jocker. - Okay, I hit him twice. - Yes. - Let me get back to my...

- You take nine points of fire damage. - Okay. - And you need, oh, you also need to make a constitution saving throw for me to see if you turn to stone. - We're twisting this money past you. - Do I do this damage beforehand? - Tell me the damage first. No, technically, just tell me the damage beforehand. - Okay, it would be 28. - So I'll write it down, that way we know whether he takes it or not. - We're twisting.

- Stole them with that swatter a little. - I would never. - Oh, you're gone, baby. - Are you a shiny roller? - I think it's like a 24. - Yes, you pass. - You're good. - So you pass by so much, he turns to stone. - And just remember, you are immune to this now, so I don't have to worry about it for you. Actually, let me write that down. So Jericho's immune, Lethika's immune, right? - As long as this fight doesn't last longer than 24 in game hours.

How many rounds of combat is that? Like thousands. Thousands. Did you roll at the end of your turn, Kels? No. Oh, the con? 600 in an hour. 600 rounds in an hour. Okay, so you pass. And you do not have to roll that again. Okay. So that's still two people that I get to torture, so that's fine.

And so you took the damage that I told you, the nine damage. - Oh, I didn't know. - Nine fire damage from attacking him while within his fire aura. And then he took the 28 damage. He is, you slash into him, but he is, you see one of the heads has a clear smile on his face as it is still relishing in the taste of a Briggsie. - The taste of a Briggsie? - You can't enjoy that. - Is that your full turn?

- Yeah, but with that clip at the end. - Oh yeah, perfect. - After that observation. - With that, it is the terrain action before Briggs gets to do anything. And so I need you all to roll, what did I make? Wisdom saving throw for me, please.

Me too. Everybody? Everybody. Wisdom is where I'm good. Let's see if I can fuck this one up. Yes. It has to do with the terrain, like the actual room that you're in. The DC is 13. I'm going to test it. Golden. I feel 11, I think. I need you to roll a d6 for me. Anybody else fail? Nope. Okay.

17. Four. That's 13.

I'm having you roll on the overwhelming sin table. You feel envy overwhelm you. You feel extremely jealous of what other party members are holding, and you're fed up with your shitty current items. You are going to use your action to drop what you're holding and attempt to take what nearest ally is holding. You may move up to your movement to get to them, and it is an athletics contest. You can just have my stone sword, I guess. Not now, Madison.

- It's a strength saving throw, right? - It's an athletics contest. - Wait, so what do I throw? - I will say it will be an actual contest between the two of you. - Do I just throw my shovel? - Yes, you drop your shovel. - Are you petrified until six rounds? - We're gonna find out. I was gonna ask if I could repeat a saving throw, but it sounds like I have to be healed. But anyway.

Please roll. Stupid shovel. No good for anything but digging graves! What? Like a flaming sword! It's a thing that can do fire damage! It'll do way cooler! Put some mist on it! Is it also stone? I'm just curious. Yeah, it's just all stone. The flames are stone, though. It looks really fucking sick. It looks like cool stone flames. Wow, I rolled pretty high. You said athletics? Athletics.

Yep. Yeah, I got a 26. Three. You immediately drop. This is using your reaction, so make sure you know that. You drop your, you fling your shovel as you rush towards Marius, and you attempt to

pull his sword away from him, but he's petrified. The sword is stone. It is the sword and the stone. It is infused to his hand. You are so envious. You attempt to rip his arm out of its socket. Let go of me!

I'm using it! My name's Solaji! Give this to me! I just said it when you were listening in the background. So yes, you are there. Give this sword to me! Let it go! And this hand break off. It can. It can. That is physically a thing that can happen, but I'm very strong. Let the sword go! I'm very strong. Drop it! And that... I love that. That is, yeah, that is love.

- We've fallen in, buddy. - Is there a die move that I can do? Just like die or what? - Would you like to just die? - No, I wouldn't like to die, but at this point. - You are in here, so actually you will take some damage because you were in here.

- I think it's within melee range. - Yes, and it's on the start of your turn. It's within five feet on the start of your turn. - You can't miss. - Not on the floor. - I mean, just shoot him. Can't you blink? You might speed you up. - I have to be able to see this orb looking to him. - Eight points of fire damage is what you take. - Just shoot him down his ass. Hack him to pieces.

- And then you, yeah, you can basically attack the inside of him is really all you can do. - Give me digestion. - That's at the highest level you can. - Yeah, fuck him up. - Oh yeah, yeah. - We know what he's immune to. - You know that he's immune to fire and poison. - But not necessarily the poison condition, 'cause those are two different things. - That'll be great with Marius standing right there. - Oh.

Just do it, I can be put back together. I can be put back together. I'm very strong. Am I restrained? I believe you are swallowed, blinded, and restrained. Okay, so I'm blinded. Yeah. And I'm swallowed. Yeah. And you're restrained. What if we put you together and your dick was like a finger and one of your fingers was your dick? I'd be upset. Okay.

I don't know how you're gonna answer that question. I'm gonna like, with my left hand, I'm gonna Hexblades Curse him. And then in my right hand, I'm gonna Summon the Cutlass and just summon it into his flesh. Yeah! You know, just try to... You can't! You can't! Yeah.

- And so he has Hexblade's Curse. - I think being swallowed should be auto hit. - That's sweet. - We need to get the leverage. - Twist it, if it doesn't hit him. - Oh boy. - He's a crocker, he can just death roll with it inside of him. - Much better. - That's a crit. - Oh! - Yes! - You summoned a crit. - Let's go. - I'm twisting it. - Do it. - That's a crit.

What the hell? I should have called it. I don't know why I didn't say anything. Thanks, Mr. Crossroads. I definitely want fan art of Dixie starting and Mr. Crossroads behind him and pushing him into the gargoyle hand. Once a good thing, I'm dressed out of red. When I discovered my crit, I almost failed high school. Ew! Ew!

You're not allowed to say that.

We agree. 45 points of damage. Wow! This is gonna make him spit you up. I was gonna say, he's got it. We'll see. He's got it. Don't let him at this point. Hold on to the right. Just alligator death roll. Yeah, just pierce it in deeper. Um, so...

I will fully let you know how lucky it is that that worked out that way, because anytime he has a creature swallowed, he's under the effects of the haste spell. - Holy shit! - And it was about to be, it was getting close to his turn. - Holy, whoa. - But he took a certain amount of damage from within his stomach. - Thank you, Jack. - So he has to roll a constitution saving throw. - Fail!

The DC is really high. I don't know why I did this. I should have made it lower. - Oh! - I rolled a six. - There you go. - So I don't, I mean, I know it's not possible. No. So he fails. - Yeah!

So he, you watch as all of a sudden you see the cutlass pierce through the belly of this creature and Briggsie slice and slice and you see a chunk

of the archbishop fall out of his stomach. - Very poetic. - As Bregsy climbs his way out or starts to, as the stomach starts to contract from the pain and you watch as he sucked back into the stomach and thrown up onto the floor in front of you as he vomits the creature up.

Because he vomited a creature up, it ends his haste and he loses his next turn. Can I use my reaction? Yes. Am I prone or am I standing? I'm gonna say you're prone. I didn't write it down here, but I'm gonna say you're prone. For flavor, I wanna crawl up and stick my hand through the hole that the trunk left and pull my hat out and pull it out.

- Indiana Jones style. - That's good. - Yeah, so you can do that. With that, it is monsters one, which is the lair action. Can entities do lair actions when they lose haste and are paralyzed? - It's debatable.

- Yeah, whatever you want. - I've never thought about that. - I would argue yes. - Okay. - Well, I suppose it would depend on how you imagine triggers. - Well, no, because it comes from them though. - Well, it depends. Sometimes, like, layer action is very positive. - I was gonna say, it's not the terrain action, which is coming from the room. - I think so, too. - I'm of the opinion, if I were in the DM chair,

Actions and legendary actions are actions, and that if a, for whatever reason, a boss can't take an action, that it can be able to take legendary action. Why don't you just tell us what it is you're thinking about doing, and we'll tell you what else you're thinking. I'm convinced. I say do whatever Nikki wants to do. Whatever logically makes sense to you. It's almost your birthday. You can be big bad evil today. Come on, just Nikki.

- I, chat, what do you think? - Oh, Jesus. - I would rule, I would rule the lair. - The lair takes the action. - That's what I rule. - And so, as the lair shakes, you see the huge open portion of the room above you where when,

the archbishop grew into this huge monstrous form. He broke apart the ceiling, the area in which Mother Midnight flew up towards the cathedral. And you're looking up, seeing all of this rubble and everything else as you hear the sounds of stone moving as the lair casts Axe of the Apostles and you see six demonic gargoyles swoop down, one on each of you. - Well, was that Axe as in like a hackaxe or Axe as in like act?

Wow, you're a fucking asshole. Okay? I clearly pronounced the C and the T. Why are you sitting there? Because you just kicked me out of my seat. I'm sorry, Derek. Oh, gosh. Yeah, I said act. And you're right. I clearly did not pronounce the C and the T. I just said act.

- Okay, so yes, the gargoyles are going to swoop in on you. One on each of you, they're all going to make their attacks. - I smell so disgusting that he is-- - Natural 20 on Lethika. - Is that a fiend?

Yes? Hot damn! Small bit of repeat. What does that mean? You're at disadvantage to strike me, to attack me, so you can roll again and maybe you get another natural 20, but you know. It's not gonna happen. You can show back to a Columbo Warrior. Three. Oh! Lethika's not going down?

for another minute. It makes you feel like you're the one against me is advantaged. So you get that one back. I'm nervously watching Lethika play my banjo trying to keep her alive. I get a Tarrasque burst through the wall and kills Lethika.

Thanks, Kimma. That's my way to solve our problems, I guess. Seriously, what's a sardine? Farron, that was also going to miss on you. It's gonna be a hit on Jericho, there's no way. And that is a 22 on Briggsie. What's the over-under that these guys do six damage?

Over. I'm taking the over. Yeah, over. Definitely the over. I have to shield it. I have to. I would. Plus it'll last a while. It'll last, I guess I just win. So yeah. Yeah, okay. It'll protect you. And you are, why am I looking at you? What are your, oh, I'm advantage. You are.

- Natural 20. - Gotta give it up. - Gotta give it up. - Thank you, Ronan Freitas. - And I just realized that they have two attacks, so I'm gonna roll for each of you again. - Son of a gun. - Well, it's definitely gonna miss you. Wow, it's gonna miss you too. It's gonna miss Jericho. - Good thing you healed him. - 22.

You're good? Yes. Got him like, "Fuck this." Both of those miss you. And a natural one. This die is over. Where's my other one? So I just got the one crit? Yeah. Oh, let me roll that crit. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Sure. Which will be funny because you're stoned. 20.

- Eight points of damage. - So I take four? - Yes. - Yes. - And you do not suffer an effect of the overwhelming sin table. - Sweet. - So, well, thank you Gargoyles, you've been super helpful this round and I'm so thankful. Oh, and one of them hit you. - No problem, Nikki. - One of them did hit Jericho. - Oh gosh, oh! - You're gonna take five points of piercing damage.

- And I need to make a wisdom saving throw. - I'm so violently trying to get the sword from Marius that I'm just like, "Ah, get rid of it!" - That's gonna be a hot 11. - Oh, perfect. Can you roll a d6 for me, please? - Oh no. - I'm gonna roll my Lillian Sarnax dice full. - You also feel envy.

You're extremely jealous of what somebody else is holding, so you're going to drop your current stuff. And you're going to use your action to move towards your ally and try and steal their stuff. I don't have to move after I've touched you.

Give me that shit! You know, I have no idea what that is. You keep saying chakram or chakram or chakram. I don't care how you say it! Give it to me! Help, help, help! You dropped your banjo, though, right? Yeah, the banjo's on the ground, yep. Put a marker down.

I roll a natural one for my athletics. Very strong. So, hold on, hold on. Athletics, that'll be two. Very strong. Oh, is it a contest? Yeah, it's a contest. Athletics? Athletics, yeah. So if you have plus zero, you can fail this. Can you get two? I have a plus zero. Oh, no. This will be the ultimate...

Oh my god! Give me the circle! Stop, let go of my purse, you asshole! I don't know you! That's my purse, I don't know you. It's the ring's head. Oh, stop! Jeez!

Damn it! My band was on the ground. And so that is the lair action. Oh, this is fun. This is fun. Very good one. Very quickly. Thank you. My band was right there. And it is Lethika's turn. Good grief. Oh, yeah.

So much is happening. None of it good. Dark lady, through me, show us why you are called the Mistress of Pain. And I will summon my spiritual weapon. Okay, all right, here we go. We're gonna use attraction here. Let's do that. I'm gonna put it right here. It's not very colorful. Well, yeah, everything's shadows with me. LAUGHTER

Surprise, surprise! Welcome, welcome. Yeah. Welcome to the final Live at Sea Derek alive. So I get to be a melee spell attack. For those at home that can't see it, that's Derek's spiritual weapon. It's a shadow. Wherever there appears to be void is where his weapon is. Does a 21 hit? Yeah. Okay, do I need to roll for damage on the gargoyles? If you want to kill a gargoyle, yeah. I just didn't know if it was one of those pooping goops.

Oh, so what I'm saying is, so wait, are you killing one guard? Like what? You're just fighting one guard. I'm attacking the one that's next to me. Oh, then no, it's a minion. So it has one hit point. That's what I'm asking. Yeah, sorry. I thought you were fighting the...

- The No-Pope. - Yes. - And I was saying, yes, you do have to roll. - I take care of the gargoyle, boopin' and goop style, and then I will run over here and with my action, I will reach out and swirling shadows will collect in my hand before blasting out in a cool manner, you know, just really flavorful. - Wow. - Feeling daring today, aren't we?

Both of those gentlemen need to make a constitution saving throw. DC 16. Mike, behind the table are my other characters' dice. Can you just pass those down? I don't care. I just rolled a two and a three. For whatever reason, these die are not working. I'm with you. I feel that. Sometimes you just gotta warm up a little. So I word of radiance them both. So they both die.

I turn to the rest of the group and see what is happening. It's a nightmare. Get it together. We will take care of Marius after we take care of the big one.

Oh shit. I'm gonna take care of Marius. Hold it together! I use my reaction to look out. I'm like more skeleton than zombie at this moment. I start running towards, I mean we're in slow motion so I start running towards fucking Bringsy. Your jaw's like flapping.

I guess I will move. I guess I'll move here. And that'll be the conclusion of my turn. And now it's Jericho's turn. Now it's Jericho's turn. Oh, yeah. I'm going to look at Brizzy and I'll say, uh, uh,

Once was a croc who went to sea, and the name of the croc was Captain Briggsie, and fucking healing warden third level. Let me see how this works with your sin. I have to try and remember. In which case you might try to steal the cutlets next. Give me that chunk! I actually... Give me a bunch of cutlets!

Oh no. You know, no, I'll say it's just the one time thing. Then you're gone. Wonderful, thank you. Yeah, no, see, you can do that. So it's one of my two third level spell slots to not do much. Seven, nine, ten, plus 15 points of healing. Nice. Nice. And my bonus action. Big heal. And then I'll...

- I'll look at-- - Oh, Briggsie, I do need you to make a constitution saving throw to see if you get turned to stone. - Hopefully you're calm, buddy. Hopefully your con is a lot higher than mine. - Not because it happened so far gone, I'm not gonna undo anything that's happened because of it. - I'm twisting it! - I will use my free object interaction to take my banjo out, though. - Better? Better, you're good, you gotta be good.

- 13? - Oh boy. - No, you do begin to turn to stone. - But you don't have to. - But you roll again at the end of your turn. So why did you roll again? - Is it my turn or is it my turn? - No, that happened at the start of your turn. So you need to roll again for the end of your turn. - I need a different fucking die here. - I'm doing this one. - Come to your room here. - Come on, little guy. Come on!

- No! - Twist it, twist it. - I hate to see it happen. - We're not, we're not, we're not. - I'm twisting it. - Yep. - What the? - I'm twisting it. There we go, I got it. - I told you so fast. - Well, yeah, I guess you're twisting it, so. - And this is why I did that shit in Icebound. - Okay. - Thank you, Jeff. - Thank you, Jeff. - It's like the time that Sarnax had to lose 8,000. - 'Cause there were 8,000 fireballs when Twister hit the fireball.

So yes, Jericho. Are you finished with your turn? Yeah, well, I've healed that. I'm going to look at the small gargoyle and say, you're losing to a bird! And I'm going... As I catch Mind Slipper. Well, yeah, that was number one. Okay. I thought it was on your next turn you roll for it. Would you...

Would you like to still be turning to stone then? No, I'm just saying, did I have to make two rolls just now for my one turn? That's what I did for Farron. Oh, okay, got it. Just making sure.

So I could have done it wrong, but I'm trying to be consistent with my failures. Fair enough. They're not failures. So you're immune. Yeah, I mean, if you don't want to be immune and you want to be slowly turning to stone, that's fine. So he needs to make an intelligent saving throw for Mind Slipper, for the little mini garbler. These are Kimma's dice. Natural one Kimma's dice. So this one voiced by Jason Alexander. That's voiced by Jason Siegel. Jason Siegel. I like Jason Siegel. I like him more.

- But it's not spelled the way you think it's spelled, it's spelled like a bird. - I'm going to-- - See, gold. - I'm gonna basically go this way. Actually, yeah, I'm done. - It's his turn. Who's within five feet of him? - Many. - Oh yeah. - I'm also stoned, but I am within five feet of him. - Yeah, so even though he's--

- Even though he is paralyzed, he still has a fiery aura that's whipping around him, that doesn't stop. So everyone who's within five feet of him is going to take one point of fire damage. - But I'm not resistant to that, am I? - No. - So I'm taking the full one. - Yeah, you're gonna, I mean, yeah. - Slowly whittle it away here. - I think one point is, yeah. - How you looking? - And that's his turn. - I'm shocked this shirt hasn't come out of his palm 'cause it's covered in my blood.

- It is chewed up. - You're gonna be uncomfortable. - I'm stone. Do I just repeat a saving throw? - No. - That's my turn. - That's your turn. - We can't solve that problem. You're dead now. I just want you to know that. There's no tool in this belt that will solve that problem for you. - Sounds like user error. - No, no, no, no, no.

Everything that I could possibly give myself. No greater. Lesser Resto, no. Lesser Resto doesn't work on Petrify. We don't know if it's special Petrify. I guess we will find out. Anyway. What do you do on the special? Farron, Farron, it's your turn. Yes, it is. I'm going to try. Let me know if it's a hair wrap.

Just action, okay, I'll be. I'm going to look at Grigby having been just vomited up on the floor and looking like vomit. I also realize I failed to do legendary actions for this entire thing, so that was an entire round of legendary actions that I wasted. Just keep on forgetting. But he was exhausted. Well, he's exhausted now. He wasn't last turn. It's all right. He was also hasted. You said we're warming up. You're warming up. We're all warming up.

Some of us are not, but that's okay. I agree with Juan. Some of us are stung. Sorry, Kels, what are you doing? I am going to slam my staff down on the ground and from the point where it hits, wicker and moss and lichen will stretch across the floor to this kind of area right here and then shoot up the legs of the gargoyle and the

Bishop. Oh, you decided not to attack us this time? Yeah, you don't know. Yeah, you're stoned. You couldn't possibly figure it out. So each of them must make a constitution saving throw. She runs past you and you feel a hoof quickly to the car. The gargoyle fails. For you. Oh, man. Oh.

- Mike, there are more of my dice back there. There's like a lot. - Just keep 'em rolling. - If you can just pass both of the, yeah, my iris dice. - Dice, dice, dice, dice. - There's a lot of fight left. - Thank you. - We are okay. - Both of them failed. - Okay. - So the minion's dead.

Yes, so what you will see is that that vines start to constrict and suck some of the life force out of them as I cast Wither and Bloom. Oh, that sounds very... So he will take 10 necrotic damage and then...

you will see the vine start to crawl up Briggs-y as well, but it will start to bloom small flowers as it gets to the top, and you can roll two of your hit dice. - What? - To heal? - Oh, wow! - Yeah, two hit dice to heal, and-- - Dude, that's pretty sick. - Plus my-- - That's so good!

Plus my spellcasting ability modifier, which is what? Please tell me I hit this. Let's see if Iris wants to kill you guys. Oh, you're gonna get a huge heal. I get two? Plus five? Yeah. Yeah, two hit dice plus five. 21 is plus five? No problem. I think it's just two dice. That's pretty big.

That's amazing. Does it give you a short rest? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. 11, 11. Thank you. That's awesome. That's pretty fucking good. That's very good. You're definitely not as dead as you were a few moments ago. And then you'll just see all of the plants just crumble away to the ground. Perfect.

Your turn. You are not dealing with overwhelming sin right now. I don't know what came over myself, I'm sorry. You would have to move back to your spot, pick up your thing. He's going to blood, he's not going to like this. I'll...

run back over to my shovel. You have to step over Briggsie. I'll step over Briggsie in a bunch of lines. Pardon me, Briggsie, I'm sorry. What has been going on around here? I'll pick up my shovel and just cleave back into the Archbishop. I suppose that you pick up the chunk and ride it like Legolas rides a shield down a set of stairs. But he's only going like 10 feet in over Briggsie, so he's like, oh, sorry, oh, sorry.

"You're the coolest in the movies!" "They made it look so easy!" You lose the 11 hit points. You're at advantage against him, right? Because he dropped haste. What luck! Isn't that what it is? No, he just lost that. I don't think he gets... you just get two attacks. Should've lied to me. One hits. One hits. For sure. Why are you rolling so poorly? I'm really frustrated.

- Are you recklessly attacking? - I've been considering pretending like I'm hitting. - I'll do a reckless attack. - I'm like, this is real bad. - If it makes you feel better, I'm having a lot of fun. - Ooh, okay. - Thanks, girls. - Well, this is vengeance. - I like when we win. - Just think of it as vengeance that we're getting. - Two hits. - Okay.

Nice. Oh yeah. Big money? Oh yeah. Big money too. I don't know what they're saying, but they look like fairies. They're good numbers. They look respectable. 27. 27 points of vengeance damage. It's not a 10, it's 0-1.

- All right. You slice into him. Blood splatters across your face as your shovel, the side of it, almost like a blade just slides into his flesh and he is completely immobile as he takes the full brunt of the damage. His face is though still looking around hungrily.

And then it is just like we had talked about. It is the terrain action. And so I need every single person to roll wisdom saving throw. No! One of these is going to fail. Uh-oh. 14. 14. 21. 15. Pull a twist out for me, will you? If this is the plan.

♪ And bet this is how it smells ♪ - That's pretty good. - If I die, I die. - I got a 14. - 'Cause last time it was 13. Unless it goes up two. - Or it could be something else. - That's fair, that's fair. Always stay two ahead of the curve. - Wiz, you said, right? - Yes. - That is a 14. - 14 for me. - How many people had 14s?

What did everybody else have? 21. 15. You all pass. You scared the shit out of me, Nikki! You all fail. Rock-a-mole. Big Z. Mechanically, I'm standing up for this, but for flavor, I'm gonna stay on the ground. Attack him, laying down on the ground. Gotta swipe around.

And so I guess I'll roll twice. - You're gonna take five points of fire damage. - That's probably what's gonna happen. - Yeah, you're good. - Why would you say that? - How many points? - Five points of fire damage. - You didn't give me any fire damage. - I didn't and you were two hits. - I hit him twice, yeah.

Seven points of fire damage. Thank you for maintaining game state. Yes. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm staying away. It's not 70. He's got like no hit points left. 15. Oh, yeah, definitely. Oh, April Fool's login. 39 points of damages. Okay.

That's actually not bad at all. You said 39? That's a shit ton. 39 points of damage. For what? What level are you? I roll max damage. You're the only one doing damage to this guy. Whoa, okay. He's doing pretty well. For once. Yeah, against the rest of you. Seven damage. I did no damage at all. His blade hit him. No, he went petrified, so I had to take the damage away. You son of a bitch. He smitten me. Oh, God.

*laughter*

It's crazy, I can't work in these conditions. That's fine, that's fine. And for the rest of my turn, I'm gonna crawl away. And I will see-- The guy's still down, I don't think.

- Oh, so he can take an opportunity attack if he wants. Wouldn't he have gotten-- - Oh, he would've, wouldn't he have gotten up on his turn? - Who put him down? How did he get down? - I can't remember. So he dropped haste with Briggsie. - Oh, he threw up. - And so he lost his turn. So his turn is over. He should be not paralyzed anymore, right? - So if he wants to make an opportunity attack, he can, theoretically. - Yeah. - Well then he will, 'cause I'm fucking this up real bad. - Just to make sure he doesn't like,

As you're like crawling away. I'm still active. Yeah, he is going to make a claw attack on you. Yeah, you're good. You're good. He will be at disadvantage. He'll be at disadvantage. Why? Yeah, because of the vengeance of my ancestors. Yeah, you're golden. You're golden. The first one hit. This one's a natural one. There it is. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

Thanks, Ancestors. Can I see my tongue on the ground? Oh! Fucking crotch-mouse!

- A bunch of ghosts and ghouls are like, "Don't look over here!" - Oh. - We make combat fun. - We don't, we. You know, and since I'm forgetting all of this stuff, he is up now. He's gonna take a lair action. He is going to look towards your Grimm 'cause fuck you. And he is going to try and make a claw attack against you. - Good luck.

- Which is regular. - Yes. - No, it will be at advantage. - At advantage, oh my, my miss. - Even better. 20. - Hits, now I'm dead. - Perfect. And so he's gonna do, I finally get to do damage! Oh fuck. He's going to do eight points of slashing damage. You are grappled. Because you're grappled, he also gets to try to devour you.

But if we just like-- Is that still at advantage? Anything, well, I don't know, is it just like an attack? 'Cause I recklessly attacked. Yeah, it's just an attack. Yeah, yeah, just let it rip. Eat him. That hits. So he is going to devour you. So you are going to take-- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I react to this? You do have a reaction. Yeah.

Because it was just your turn. 15 points of piercing damage, and you are swallowed, so you are blinded and restrained. Hold on, hold on. I'll say, I'll look, and I'm covered in saliva and fire, and I'm seeing, you know, it's like, you know, Attack on Titan, where the titan is on the fair, and

To eat your... Alright, Crossroads. And reroll your attack. With my bad luck feature from the Master of Crossroads. Ooh. Come on, come on, come on. 23. Nice try. Nice try. So I'll just keep the 15 then? Yeah. It was a good try. Yeah, it was worth it. It was possibly worth it. Oh, but hold on. I still steal the luck and give it to someone that I want.

I get to choose any creature I can see within range. I look at myself. I give myself advantage on the left. Of course you do. This ain't gonna be good. You don't even have to roll on the overwhelming sin table, you're greed. Done, done.

And so that's his reaction. - All right, I'm downed inside of him. - You're down inside of him? - I'm downed inside of him, yeah. - You're unconscious inside of him. - Oh yeah, yeah. - What? - What's his name? Punch me really hard in the face before we got here. - Have you been taking... - Hugo. - Oh. - Hugo hit me like twice. - No, we short rusted. - Huh? - We did short rust. - We short rusted in the bell tower. - Yes, you did. - You should have been able to hit dice yourself back up. - Yeah.

I performed a song of wrath it was very good I thought you did I performed that might have been after the short rest to be honest I was like pretty fucked up I mean well I didn't I didn't use any hit dice I remember I recall I didn't use any but I was at full health anyway so I don't know I didn't make any hits from Hugo your gram

- Kind of engaged, Yuko. - He did, yeah. - He absolutely did. - I don't know how he did it first. - Well, he did it first. - No, we didn't take any, he was the only one that took damage. - Regardless, it is now the lair action. - Goodbye, over. All the darkness, mild fun. - I usually miss those things. I don't know if, well, I don't know. - I would say you're lucky that this is going to happen after.

You fall to zero because he's casting Midnight Mass. A horrific aura washes over the cathedral until the next flare action falling to zero hit points automatically triggers a failed death save.

All death saves are made at disadvantage until the next flare action. Oh, wow. Does he also monologue for 90 minutes without stopping? Oh, man. Oh, no. What if life is just like biology? I think it's spirits. So profound.

You know, I was gonna say you have 1 HP, because of Relentless. Oh my god, you're an orc. Err... No, you're an orc, not a half-orc. You're the worst orc. No! Damn you, storytelling flavor! Yeah, I'm in there, man. I'm in there. Yeah, no, I'm just aggressive.

- And I have a powerful build. - I will say, I will say for the sake that I did say there's a huge hole in his stomach that Briggsie made. So you can see him, it's just not big enough for you to crawl out of. - I'd love to crawl. - I can't crawl, I'm unconscious. - Yes, that's also true. But for the sake of people who have the ability to do things,

- Oh, that's very nice of you, Nikki. - He is visible to you. However, he is going to use a lair action and make a claw attack against Brigsy who's within 10 feet of him. - No, he's not. - What do you mean? - I feel Marius' stone hand. - Oh no, it's, sorry. It's Farron that I was looking at. - She's technically 15. - Yeah, she's 15.

- I mean, Marius is right there. - I'm right there, but I'm made of stone. - Marius is there. - Yeah, no, it's just Marius. - I think he can only just punch himself. - I'm not sure that's how that works, Derek. - He can digest really hard. - He is going to use a lair action to, that's 20 feet. He's gonna use sting. He's gonna take a scorpion tail. - Oh, actually.

Is anybody within five feet of each other? No. Yeah, he's going to use his sting attack, and he is going to whip towards Farron, because she's within 20 feet of him, and attempt to sting her. That checks out. Don't. He's going to use a sting attack? Yeah. 19. Don't stand. Don't stand so. I love that song. Don't stand so close to me. You're within 20 feet of him.

- Everybody fucking run. - It's spread out, man. - 14 points of piercing damage plus three points of poison damage. And I need you to make a constitution saving throw. - You said 10, say it again, 14 plus what? - Oh, I don't remember. What did I say, chat?

- 14 plus 10 plus. - What, no, I didn't say 14 plus 10. It was, I know the poison was three pieces of poison damage. - Okay, it was 14 plus three then. - Okay, there you go. - 17 damage. - Ah, yes. - Three damage, and what was it? A, what'd you tell me to do? - Constitution saving throw. - Come.

- Calm you say? - 18. You succeed, so you're not poisoned for a minute. - Oh, thank goodness. - And so it's Lethwick's turn. - Oh, that's why you didn't want to do it to me. - Huh? Yeah, you're into poison. - I was like, why is she being so reluctant? - Wait, I am poisoned? - You're not, you succeeded. - Oh, you avoided it.

You take the damage, you just didn't. You're not in a poisoned condition. Lethika.

I'll turn to Jericho. Save Yorgrim! I'll turn to Briggsy. I'll see... Save Yorgrim! I'll see Farron. The boys! I am feeling a lot of pain seeing Marius, but I can see through this hole, this gap, that there is an unconscious Yorgrim. You see the tombstone protruding out. Just the tip. Yeah.

If something says it's a bonus action to cast, can I use an action to cast it? Yes. No. No. It's only a bonus action to cast it. Generally not. We've never really discussed that. Does it look like I can get...

my hands into the hole to try to get your breath in. Yes. Then I'll do that. I will run forward without saying a word and I will-- And you will take one point of fire damage as you jump into the fiery aura that swirls around him.

And I will grab the hands of Unconscious Yorg-Rim and speak a quiet prayer to my goddess, casting Cure Wounds. Nice. And...

I'll cast Cure Wounds. I'll use my bonus action as that happens to have Spiritual Omen fly in, just spinning illusory but very deadly Chakram slams into him. So I'll make an attack, and that's going to be a 16 to hit.

To hit him? Oh, no, his AC is 18, so that does not hit. And I'll roll Cure Wounds, but I'm basically almost halfway into this wound, trying to grab Jörgrim's hands and try to get him to wake up. And you will, because you are going to be healed. Some healing. Some anti-damage. Nice. That's going to be... Solid. Nine. Nine points of healing. Very nice. Jericho.

Uh, I am going to, I don't know if it's going to work, but I'm still going to try it. Oh. Oh.

Actually, he's going to use another legendary action. Hold that saw, Mike. And he's going to make a claw attack. No, after you heal, because it has to be after Lethika's turn. And then he's going to attempt to claw and devour Lethika. I'm disavantage. I'm disavantage. I'm attaining concentration. I'm thinking about achieving in my heart. Oh, is that Khan? So I have to take the lower one, right? Mm-hmm.

- 'Cause the second one was a natural 20. So 14 plus eight, is that 14 plus eight, is that gonna hit you? - That's a buttload. - Okay, so he does hit you. You've been clawed. - Just got clawed. - You're gonna take eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 points of slashing damage. And then he is going to attempt to devour you. Is this also a disadvantage? - It is an attack. - It is.

Eight no walls. He's gonna fail. Wait, hold on. Eating the claws. 15? Justices. Okay. I just had to check. Seven plus, yeah, eight is 15. I do not have 15. I can do math. Okay, so the devourer doesn't work, but he does hit you. And you are restrained in one of his hands. I start to reverse time with my mind beans. One? Oh. One? What ability is that? It's an ability to kill more. Oh, no.

I'm going to look at Marius and say, pluck my banjo as I can concentrate on Lethica. It'll say, rock, rock, rock, rock, no more rock, damn fear. Rock, rock, rock, rock, no more rock, damn fear. And I'm going to cast Dispel Magic on Marius to attempt to end a magical effect. I'm going to use a twist of dread to see if I can devour Lethica. We're going to make it. Na, na, na, na, na.

- Huh? - You just cursed this one. - Yeah, you did, 'cause I rolled a five, so I wasted it for this. - Doing it our way. - Damn, weird. - Washes over Marius as I attempt to dispel the magic and return Marius to flesh. - You attempt to do this and absolutely nothing happens. - Damn it! - And then you hear a crack as Marius completely turns to dust.

- No, the bathroom was giving me a lot of shatter! - I wouldn't be surprised. - No, but it does look like that for a second as all of a sudden surrounding Marius is nothing but a cloud of dusty, almost smoke as it hangs in the air. As you slowly start to see the glint of gold as light hits his armor, as the stone falls to the ground.

And Marius, you are no longer petrified. Perfect. Yay! Look at the timing. And you know what? I'm not against the wall. I'm just going to back up just a little bit more. We all three of that had that. I just didn't think it was going to work. I didn't either.

- Guess they're assholes. - I'm the real support, ain't doing no damage to this vote. - I literally am like, I wonder how long, I bet this will be the only boss fight that Andy would really just sit and watch. - I was ready, I was at peace with it. - I know, I noticed, I really commended you on that. - I don't think that works on Petrified, so. - It's magic!

- There's nothing in this toolkit besides the spell magic. - I don't know. - There's nothing to the spell. The spell is happening. - So what I will say is you're thinking about it from a meta perspective that you know that spell. I have it specifically written in your greater restoration or some other spell or ability that can get rid of magics. - That's fine.

And so if you had thought about it from the perspective of someone who doesn't know what that means. I wouldn't have changed it in my turn for a little second. I just don't think that's true. That was an arcane decision about whether or not he was under the influence of a spell currently holding him stone or whether or not he's just stone now. I...

I will continue my song, rock, rock, rock, rock to the rock your organ and give you both a board of inspiration. Nice. What do you do? I don't, what does my, what does that do? You get to add a D8 to something or whatever. Yeah, D8, 1D8, yeah. So, Luka has an inspiration and Jorgen has an inspiration. Just one time? Yes. Yep. You have 10 minutes. You have it for the remainder. I can add it to anything? Like if I wanted to add it to damage? I think so. Yes. With the new rule,

- You can't damage or heal anything. - Just about anything. - And so with that, it is his turn. - Oh boy, I can't wait to get absolutely underrated. - He is going to-- - I assume no longer rock. - He is going to shift towards Farron and Briggsie to be within 10 feet of both of them. - They can't. - Why couldn't they? - Do you mean this way?

- Farad and Marius here? - He should be able to move closer. Yeah, he could be able to move. He will take opportunity attack should you choose to do that, but he's got more than enough health to handle it. And he's fucking hungry. - I'd like to get the- - Well, hold on. First, he's gonna make a claw. First, he's gonna make the claw attack against Marius before he moves. - Yeah, there you go. Go for it, Lumberjack. - Natural.

Yeah, you got it. I'm not even resistant anymore. I'm fleshy and salt. Why? Why are you? Yeah, well, he's got gold storming around him. The vengeance of my ancestors are like... Oh, he's... If he attacks anyone but me...

The mists disrupt them. Oh, thank you, buddy. You saved me. 17 plus eight. Yeah, that's what it is. That's what it is. So, claw attack. He's going to attempt to devour you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which will be at disadvantage. 13 and a 12. So that means 20. That's it. Perfect. He devours you. Son of a bitch. I'm gonna do that damage. Woo-hoo!

- So he didn't move, we're sorry. - Well, yeah. - Nine points of slashing damage. - Total or just the first one? - That's the first one. - Got it. - And then he is going to do the-- - I almost wish I was still strong. - Marius, is that you in the upper GI tract?

- What the fuck is going on? - Five points of fire damage. - I'm down here in this cold land. - And you are now inside of him. He is then going to lumber forward. He is going to-- - Back to where you wanted him. - He is going to make his next attack against Lethika. - Yep, that's so, and he's now at 10 feet of all of us. - I was so ready to get in on this. - And that's gonna be an 18 to hit Lethika at disadvantage. - That is. - So that is. - Let's see what I can do.

Seven points of slashing damage. I don't have any kind of reaction. He's going to attempt to devour you. Mm-mm.

- 15? - Misses. - He can't devour, oh, you were, wait, you were already grappled, so nevermind, that hit would have actually been to devour you, which would have hit, so you are devoured, but you do have to-- - I get the damage back? - You get the damage back, and I do have to roll a different type of damage for devour. That's 2d6, so seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 13 points of piercing damage instead.

as you are devoured. - 13 points? - Yeah, of piercing. And then he's going to reach out, that's two arms. He's gonna reach out with his third arm for Farron and attempt to devour Farron. - Welcome. - Knows this die, the Anubis die, doesn't do shit for Iris, but god, as a DM. - Son of a bitch. - All right, let's see. 15 plus eight, does 15 plus eight hit Farron?

Yeah. You are clawed. This is a disadvantage. Yes. A seven piercing. Yes, that is seven piercing. And at disadvantage, he's going to try to devour you. Final attack, right? No. No.

19, does that hit? Yeah. Perfect. He is going to do... Oh gosh. 10, 16 points of piercing damage as you are swallowed. Brigsy, he is going to reach out with his last arm. Oh, hit turn. And attempt to hit you. Go easy on me.

Be gentle. Oh, it ain't gonna be gentle. 25 to hit. 25? Yeah. Disadvantaged? Yes. He has plus eight. Yikes. Hold on. And I rolled my highest or my lowest was a 17.

Hold on. You know, just hold on. So that's actually a 26. Because I'm really bad at math. No, it's still 25. 17, 3, 20. My lowest was a 17, so that's 25. Okay, that is 25. The odds of that are just astronomical. Yeah, I don't got nothing to do. Okay, so you're going to take... Well, that's just one hit. Yes, that is just one hit. That is just the claw.

All that means is that you're a clod, not that you're swallowed again. Well, for what it's worth, these dyes suck. This dye is a fucking, like, Anubis is in this. What's the max elasticity of his stomach?

All of you, plus some. Oh no, oh no. I thought he was gonna hit Krogan. Seven slashing. And he is going to attempt to devour you. He's gonna have five X haste. 18.

- You're good, you're alive. - So he is just holding you in his hand. The rest of you have been swallowed. - He can move forward at 52 feet. - And that is his turn and you watch as at this point, he is now bulging. The size that he was when this fight started, he's almost doubled in size at this point. His stomach is roiling and undulating as you can see your friends inside moving and trying to get themselves out of this disgusting acid.

I can't wait to check the Archbishop Renault tag on DeviantArt after this session. No, no, no, not today. Well that makes up for a lot of what I have felt tonight. Yeah, it does. That'll do it. Oh yes. Am I able to just attack at disadvantage?

Yeah. I will begin my turn by attempting to make two attacks. We're twisting them. These are one attack, this is the other, okay? O'Neil! So the lower one would be 20, and the lower one here would be 17. Twist it. We're twisting it. Oh yeah, twist it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, that's a 24. - Okay, those of them hit. - So I had no reason to roll a fire damage, unfortunately, and that's a lot of fucking Ds going there. - It does not. - I am going to... - You are starting your turn in him, so you need to take some damage. - I'll wait, I'll wait, sure, that's fine. - Six points of fire damage. - Roger. I have applied that. I am going to make...

one of these hits a Divine Smite at a second level. So I will spend a spell slot. - Yeah, that's a really good idea. - Second level spell slot. So that's gonna give me one, two, and I think just three, four, five, I think a fifth one. Can I borrow a D8? - You can borrow one of my dice. - I wanna just make sure it's three extra. 'Cause I think it's two plus one.

Divine Smite is 2d8 plus 1d8 for each spell. Yep, so it'll be all of these bad boys. Okay, come on, come on. Don't leave me hanging. I see this being something really interesting. Not grand. That's gonna be 6 plus 8 is 14, plus 5 is 19, plus 16 is 35 points of damage, a lot of which is radiant.

Radiant is normal. Okay, so 35 total. And then with my bonus action, I will use my channel divinity turn the tide, which is a bonus action.

So, each creature of my choice within 30 feet regains 1d6 plus 4 HP if it has no more than half its max hit points. Well, that's everyone. Your boy. That hits everyone with Jericho, right? Yeah. Seven points of healing, which isn't bad. For everybody? Yes, if you have less than half your hit points. That's fucking huge. You probably just saved my life. And that is my whole turn.

I will tell you in a minute how you're going. I'm silently praying and probably screaming in pain. I'm praying with my own. The Archbishop.

in a swift movement goes from being nearly incapacitated to pulling at some of you and devouring a significant portion of your group. You're feeling weakened, you're feeling stressed. All the while, something has been going unnoticed, but you notice it now. Small tendrils of the light.

The purple, the green, the blue, the white, the black that is almost being sucked in and devoured by the Archbishop as he grows and he consumes. He is feeding on your sin. He's feeding on your connection to your dark entity. Marius, you look down and you see this connection and though your hatred, your wrath for the Duchess of Sin and what she's done to you is overwhelming, your hatred and your wrath from Mother Midnight

for what Anya did to Jorgrym, for what she has done to this entire place and to you is far more overwhelming in this moment. As you stand up in the very center of this entity, you take your blade of radiance

and you begin to hack and slash into this thing. You watch as the stomach starts to constrict, the damage too much for the archbishop to handle as all of you are vomited out of the heads onto the ground. He is looking weak as he tries to inhale more of your essence, but it's not enough.

In the heat of battle, in the crumbling catacombs beneath the cathedral of the blinding light, the creature that was once Archbishop Danton Alexander Renault, now the herald of gluttony, the herald of the night of sin as a whole, thrashes before you, his bloated form even more swollen than when the fighting began. You see him sit back onto his haunches and open all four of his mouths wide, the jaws unhinging, revealing rows of jagged stone teeth.

As his mouths get wider and wider, his eyes flash with demonic energy and you all feel a terrible sick feeling deep within your souls. And suddenly you all are paralyzed. You feel the wind before you hear the beast inhale as he attempts to consume everything in the room.

But as you see wisps of shadow and mist that rise from you and begin to get pulled to his voracious maw, you realize, helplessly, that he is attempting to consume your dark gifts that you've empowered with the power of the land of Druskinvald itself. Each of you feel the tug on your soul as your connection to the dark powers that claim you begins to be ripped away by the endless, almighty hunger of the creature before you. And as more mist and shadow is ripped from your very being, your vision starts to go dark.

And then you hear a bellowing voice boom out before you. "Don't hurt friends! Who is Gargoyle now?!" Moving with that trademark supernatural ability, you see Hugo leap down from the crumbling cathedral above, the huge split bell in his clutches.

The demonic gargoyle that was once Archbishop Rinald is too focused to react as Hugo slams the incredibly heavy hunk of metal down and hard onto the creature's head, immediately knocking the beast to the ground with a thud as the discordant clanging of the ruined bell echoes through the chamber. This is enough to break whatever horrible devouring ritual that was underway, and you feel the hold on your dark gifts return, much to your relief or dismay.

However, your control of your own bodies returns too slowly and you can only watch as the four-armed gargoyle picks up the massive half-Fomorian and slams him against the cathedral wall, then picking up the very same fractured bell and bringing it down hard onto Hugo with a sickening crack. Blood coats the walls as Hugo immediately goes limp, his form obscured by the tarnished metal. A shrill, irritated voice culls down magically amplified.

You cannot even finish your appetizer. I don't know why I expect it any differently. Forget them, my child. Your real dinner is served. Come to the table and feast on what an overwhelming sin. Herald in the night of sin.

Immediately, all four heads of the huge fiendish gargoyle abomination turn upward, and with a single beat of the massive wings, Archbishop Renault flies up through the cathedral, smashing through the ceiling of the main worship chamber into the high bell tower above. The stone and wood of the ruined construction plummets down on top of you, luckily regaining your own agency just in time. I need you all to roll a dexterity save.

Oh boy. Oh yeah. Oh, that's terrible. Wait a minute. How bad are we doing this? I'm gonna twist it. I'm gonna roll a three. Yeah, twist it. Yeah, and you're a barbarian. You're a viking. You're advantaged anyway. It's danger sense. I'm gonna use my bardic inspiration. I got a five. I got a 13, but I only have a plus one. So it's like, you know. I used my bardic inspiration. That's a tough one. 13 could be good.

That's certainly not awful. For like a dodging a piece of rock. Yeah, it could just be a 10. I only need a 10. But I don't think it's worth, it's very likely I'll just roll lower. That's fair. With a plus or one, yeah. The odds are that you would roll lower. So what did everybody get? 13. 23. No, 24. 24. 17. 29. Ah, Jesus Christ. What are all of your pluses?

Eight plus three. Nine plus one. Four. Dexterity saving throw or just dexterity? For a dexterity saving throw. Mm-mm. Meh. I was gonna say, some of these are probably... Farron, I'm gonna use a twist of dread. I'd like you to reroll, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very clever.

Natural 20. Fuck. All right, all right, all right. Just hit me, hit me, dear. I can take it. As the archbishop flies up through the already fractured ceiling of this place, now completely exposing this room to the sky above, that night sky, you can see a bit of the hag moon, its grinning face, just barely, just the...

the soft lilt to one of its lips you can see peeking over the edge of the cathedral, but no more. As the light shines down into this room, as he flies up towards the cathedral,

The rubble begins to crash in. Most of you are able to dodge out of the way. Marius, however, or yeah, Marius, still weakened, still stiffened from your time as a statue yourself. You're pinned beneath a large piece of stone you are going to take. I attempt to use my shield, knowing that I can't move fast enough. Nine points of bludgeoning damage. Okay.

As you are smashed and pinned to the ground. All right, there I am. Part rock again. As even more of... I'm 40% still. As even more of the cathedral collapses in on you, threatening to crush you beneath the ruins, you all hear a terrible cacophony above you. The horrible tolling of seven bells that give off such an awful fiendish resonance, it almost drives you mad just hearing them. You even feel the pull of your respective sins once more.

For just a moment, as you each glow with the color of the element you have taken up as your guardian, and you steel yourselves, your dark gifts have saved you once more. The people of Cyril, however, will not be so lucky.

And with that, combat drops. - They're all horrible zombies. - As I have warned you prior that it would. - Some horrific rolling. - I'd run over to Marius and try and get my shovel under the rock that he's pinned on and say, "Ugh!" - I would say roll a strength saving throw, I guess.

I'll run with you, go. And immediately start to assess. I think that's a 17. Easily, easily enough to get the rock up off him. I'll push myself off another rock. Yeah. Come on.

- You immediately rush over to where Hugo is. This corner of the room, it is nothing but rubble. You can see no part of Hugo at first, but a small fraction of the hood that he used to wear over his head that is sticking out between some of the rocks. The entire wall behind him is completely spattered in blood. - I will, if I can't get to Hugo, does it look like I can start removing the hood? - Yes.

With you, it would take you a long time. You're not running. Yeah, we would join as soon as we can and try to help. As soon as I'm married, we would move to Hugo's spot. Sorry, ask X of A. As soon as I think I have something that I can channel my divine energy through in the form of a hand or something like that, let me know. Okay. So who's helping? Me.

I will dukes of hazard slide over this altar. My tail will fall off the other side. I pull out my focus, my gun. I'm going to be looking around. Hold on! I'll give cover fire! I'll keep an eye out!

- Oh no, there's still one of those minions, Brixie, get rid of him! - Oh, was there still a minion there? - It was crushed by a stone. - It was crushed by a stone. - Live by the stone, die by the stone. - Oh my god. - So I will be, but in a mechanical sense, I'd wanna keep an eye out to see if I can see Mother Midnight flying around on a broom, to see if I can see anything. - Roll a perception check.

And so the rest of you rush over and the the tolling of the bell I want to change the music the tolling of the bell is Almost oppressive as it rings out over the city of Cyril but for this moment Your focus is on Hugo this entity that did not let you down this this

what had been called a gargoyle by someone that he loved, someone that he cared about, that had been treated so poorly but by you had been treated as a friend and as a person. And it was clear in this moment that he valued that and that he valued you when he clearly turned against the only family he had ever known to save you. And with a feverish veracity,

Those of you that are not protecting those that are rummaging through the rubble, do that. You rummage through the rubble and it's almost an eerie silence as the sound of stone hitting stone echoes. No one says anything. You finally are able to unearth the body of Hugo. And it is very bloodied. You wipe the blood and sweat from his face. All three of his eyes are closed.

And it's just silence. You can see a huge gash and wound on his head where the cracked bell had clearly split his skull. And then you see it, just faintly, small, very slow rise and fall to his chest. He is still alive, but only barely. I was hoping. Come back now, Hugo. Come back now, too.

to the living. Join us. Please.

I'll cast Cure Wounds and see if I can get him to at least, he might not come back to consciousness, but to stop the bleeding and to stop, to heal the wound in his head, if I can. Please? As you're doing that, I would grab your hand with my other hand on Hugo as well and just follow suit with your right hand and cast Cure Wounds. I said he was dead, I wrote an auntie. You're watching the sky and...

You see... You see the sky is...

completely clear. Just the, this almost halo of milk light that is emanating from the hag moon, illuminating the entire city of Cyril. But from this vantage point, you can't see what's going on in the town. You can only hear strange noises. Noises that are unlike anything that you've heard before. It is hard to tell what is happening in the town right now, but you can see up towards the bell tower and hear the clanging.

But other than you see nothing coming, you see no threats towards you, it looks like the attention has been turned towards the tolling of the bells. We heal. You place your hands, each one of you on either side of Hugo's head, and you begin to cast your healing magics. And they manifest in different ways, those that are unique to you. But they, the shadow and the moss and the lichen, almost entwine together in a perfect, beautiful harmony.

as they begin to stitch up the wound on Hugo's head. And you watch as his eyes slowly start to flutter open, and you see that though his eyelids are heavy, his chest starts to rise a little heavier. He starts to breathe just a little bit faster, a little more normally. As his eyes open up, you see that even his third eye has already begun to regrow. Holy shit. As he opens his eyes and he looks at you, his head lolls to the side.

Lessica. Be still. He reaches up with his large hand and he runs his hand along your cheek. Love, Lessica. Friend. I love you too, Hugo. He turns to you, Farron. Farron, help Hugo. Thank you for coming for us. Hugo loves Farron. Farron, friend. I see. Hugo tires. Just for a second.

hug you girlfriend oh and he like reaches out to try and hug you yeah i think just hugging his arm and probably be like a torso to me and he holds on to you for a little while and you hear his breathing it's a little bit labored and then he eventually lets go of you and you can see that he's

You can see that he's conscious, laying in the rubble down here at the base of the cathedral, and he is slowly breathing more quickly, but his eyes do keep fluttering. He's on the brink of exhaustion, on the brink of passing out, but he seems to still be awake, though he's making no attempt to engage you in conversation. He seems like you could talk to him if you needed to or wanted to. He looks around at all of you, I will say, and he does say,

Hugo finally has family. That's right. That's exactly right. You're gonna be okay there, fella. You're mighty strong to be able to take a wallop in like that and be in fighting shape.

You see a faint smile on his face, and you see as he reaches down and into the tattered outfit, the dirty clothes that he wears that clearly have not been washed in years, and from a pocket hanging out the side, you see as he pulls out his little train that had been mended by you, and he holds onto it. "I believe in friends."

You hang on to that there, fella. We're gonna play trains, Gooselight Express, after we take care of your... I mean, the Batmonster. You aided us when we needed it most. You saved our lives. You are a true hero. You were very brave. You go brave. Thank you. And you go tired.

Rest. Rest now. You've earned it. Friends rest too. And you watch as his third eye opens up and you're all awash in a strange green light. It's a kind of green that you could only imagine in a beautiful fairy glade. Something completely akin to the Feywild in its own and you all experience a short rest. I'll take it. Nice fucking go.

Oh, I was about to use that secure word. I was going to start downing potions and all that shit. It's essentially a free cast of catnap, but that's instead of catnaps. As the light washes over you, Hugo succumbs to his wounds. Though he is clearly stable, he wakes up.

He does pass out, and he falls into what appears to be a happy sleep. He holds on to his little train set, and he begins to snore softly. It's probably not safe here. The cathedral will come down on me. How do we carry him out to the cathedral? There's like 4,000 pounds.

I will say for the sake of it, the DM tells you, you just preternaturally know that this is not going to... He's fine. He's fine. He's fine. If only I'd realized that spell magic worked early. Turn the tide as once per short rest. There you go. All of my shit's once per short rest and I was saving a spell slot for... You know, just in case.

I thought about using... Just such an occasion. I don't have any way to heal Spellslot. With that, you are standing in the Cathedral of the Blinding Light, and Hugo is now resting peacefully in the corner. The sound of the bells ring out, echoing through the night, echoing throughout Cyril, echoing throughout Folsense as a whole. The bleeding has stopped. I think Hugo is going to be okay assuming this room is safe.

What's our plan? Do we get the fuck out of here? We must give chase. We don't have a choice. We have to stop him before he consumes the town. The bells are already going. I mean, the whole province is gonna be zombies. We don't know what that's going to quite look like. I would say we need to save as many people as we can. We must defend ourselves against the town people if they're violent, but we must try not to kill as many of them as we can. What if the bells are causing this chaos? Should we go after them first?

And I'm not just saying this because Virgil's saying that we have to eat his power and get stronger. But I'm saying this because it's the right thing to do. We need to kill Archbishop Renault. I've been the one that's been hesitating, saying, perhaps we shouldn't resort to murder with this fella. Now that he's a gargoyle and all, I feel like it's quite justified. I think it was justified when he confirmed that he was in on it the whole time. You heard what he said to her.

That's right. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I know. I felt he deserved the justice when he took you, Gelsai. I still have. And I pull out from the bag the broken statue of Foltus that had been jammed into his eye that I'd kept. Don't forget. You had the other one, remember? Oh, that's right. We must...

Take care of Renald. The bells and Mother Midnight. We must give chase. I would say it seems like it's very clear that all three of those things are in the same place. The bell tower. We must ascend to the bell tower.

I'm just saying it's not too late to get out. I mean, we go to Philip and we can be like, hey, look, we tried, but there's a whole gargoyle thing. We might need some help. Didn't she say that literally all of the humans in all of Druskinvold are also going to get hit by it? How many humans are in Druskinvold? What's their census data? We must commence at once to the Berl Tower. Briggsie, are you with us?

Yeah, alright. I don't really think there's any escape. There's nothing we can do but face this, head on. I mean, it's fair, but none of us are really human. I mean, either you, I think we'll be fine. I'm just saying it's not too late to bail. It's not about us. You know this. We have to aid these people.

No, we don't. It's not really nice or polite to call Marius not human. On account of his ears and his fangs and his blood red eyes and his pallid complexion and the fact that he craves blood and the fact that he can walk on walls. Jericho, Jericho, Jericho, please. I'm used to it. Oh, okay. George, do you mean pallid or paladin?

Yes. How are we gonna get up to the... Can we just climb, I guess?

Does it look like... It looks like it's gonna need to be climbed. Well, I can lead the way as always. Yes. I can climb to the top and belay some rope. It will take me no time at all. It's the old reliable at this point. I mean, what if they're doing some horrible thing up there? I'm gonna be like, oh, I, you know. Once we get to the cathedral, can we like, are there stairs or something we can take? Oh yeah, there's probably stairs.

- Well, if you hear me dying, you'll know that something is going on up there and I'm going to put away my sword and shield and begin to climb. - I would say you would all want to climb together. - Okay, just kidding. - And it will be a group climbing check at advantage because of Marius. - So we'll climb the main floor of the cathedral. - Yes, and then you're going to be able to get in and ascend through the stairs. - I make it 10 feet up and I turn back and I say, "We should all be doing this together."

- Because if any one of you were to essentially get anywhere without the others, it could be disastrous. - Acrobatics? - Yes, acrobatics at advantage because of Marius. - Jesus. - Marius, you're great. - Thank God I didn't. - And it's a group one, so just because you fail doesn't mean you fail. - I got a 16. - 14. - Oh, nice. - 23. - 18. - Terrible. - 26. - Thank you.

you are easily able to do to make the climb. - Help me up here! - A lot of the rubble has almost created a slope that you're able to scale up and get yourselves over. - I just hold onto the strap of my bag and two hands come out. - That's horrifying and I wish I'd said it.

Once I get to the top of wherever we're climbing, I'll slam my staff down and Wicker will start to grow out over my arms and my shins kind of like in an armor and sort of a helm-style mask-y thingy. Like a forced Mega Man thing. Exactly. Or like, what is it, Ardenweald with the...

As you all ascend the cathedral, you peer through the shattered windows and huge holes left from the collapsing walls and you finally see the Knight of Sin being builded in.

The throngs of Ceruleans swarm the streets, indulging in their worst sins to the highest degree. But as the terrible bells above you ring out across the city, you see the way they move change. Slowly but very clearly, you see their movements turn from deliberate sinful acts committed by mortals lost to wickedness, to pure mindless heretics which seem more like inhuman monstrosities than actual people.

And slowly, even from this distance, you see the dark transformation as their eyes go wide and start to glow red. And from their heads you see the nubs of black horns beginning to sprout. The night of sin has begun and all of Folesense is running out of time. By the time you make it to the highest bell tower, you see a circular chamber that looks out to the entirety of the city, now turned to maddened wickedness.

At the center, pulling an elaborate system of chains stringing seven massive black bells with their discordant resonance is the even more bloated form of the Herald of Gluttony, Archbishop Danton Alexander Renault. And he is not alone. Riding her simple broom is Mother Midnight, the misty affliction having spread even further throughout her body. Her pulsing veins snake all over the wrinkled flesh you can see, pulsing with swirling gray as her eyes

are streaked with green blood vessels as even her irises begin to change color. For the first time, she seems distressed. All the same, she faces you with wicked confidence as you finally arrive to the chamber.

Oh Danton, it looks like you ordered your food to go. Now you can fill your belly with both sin and flesh. Keep ringing, my herald. Feast upon the sin of the humans, incapable of resisting the inherent darkness within.

Feast upon the sacrifice of their humanity as they surrender to wickedness. Then once you have consumed all that is needed, fly, fly my pretty child, and feed the mother of this land, the mother of us all, the mother of night, so that she may finally be reborn in moonlight.

And with that, Mother Midnight rockets out of the room and into the night sky, ascending upward toward the ever-grinning hagmoon above. Yes, my mother, it is all so delicious. Yes.

Archbishop Renault continues to ring the bells, ensuring that the people of Folsom surrender to sin as he keeps all four of his mouths wide, ravenously consuming the wickedness of this night and swelling larger and larger with every moment. I need everyone to roll for initiative again.

20 to 25. - I'm so nervous. - It's okay, me and you, you beat me. - So 20 to who else said 25? - Jericho. - Lethika? Who wants to go first? - So we have Jericho.

We have the big bad, actually. And then we have Lethika. 23. 23. Farron is 23. I can't go Lethika-Farron. Okay, then we have the lair action. Win? Then... 15. Okay. Briggsy? 9.

Okay, so it is your Grim Marius. Got a high five. You got a five? Yeah, I got a nine. I'm last. Okay, well, I mean, that's fine. That's a good spread. Wait, Marius' play is last? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I got a high five. My bad. Okay, so with that, the Archbishop is standing in the center of this cathedral area. He is ringing the bells with a strange...

a chain contraption that is able to ring all of them as the people of Cyril, the people of Folesense are giving in to the Knight of Sin as they're all transforming into these strange creatures, the horns growing on their heads, their eyes red. And

You stumble into the room as Mother Midnight flies out on her broom towards the Hag Room and you're faced with the Archbishop yet again. He looks ever wounded from the battle that you just previously had with him in the bowels of the Cathedral of the Blinding Light. The wound on his stomach is still ever present and you see a similar sight to the tendrils that connected you to him when he was feeding on the sins in you, but these ones are stronger.

because they're coming from every corner of Folsens, from every humanoid in the land of Droskenwald, in his dark domain, and his gluttony is causing him to get larger and larger and larger. Jerika, what do you do? I am going to look at him, and I am going to say...

Actually, no, I'm not gonna do that. Oh my god, I don't really... I am going to look at him, and I am going to say,

You know, I once, a frog, do you like frog humor? You know, I once told this joke to a frog and he didn't care for it much. He was hopping mad. I mean, he's hitting his laptop. You're giving frog jokes.

- What's the save? - Wisdom 16. - Oh yeah, he smashes it. 21. - Good try, good try. - I'm going to-- - I'm pro, yeah, I'm pro. - Who's after me? - That was your turn. - Lefka, I'm going to also basically say, Lefka, please try to keep us alive, but you may just shoot Shadow in your blade, but here's some inspiration. And I'm going to--

I'll do what I can. I'm not a heal bot. 10 minutes. Well, I'm an idiot, so this should have happened already. The lair action. So I'm going to do that first. And he is going to... He is going to...

Do Midnight Mass again. No, no, he's not. The gargoyles that surround the outside of the bell tower activate and all six gargoyles are gonna rush one on each of you. And they each make two attacks, so I'm gonna go on, ooh, natural 20 on Lethika. - I'm not still, I have 10 minutes. - And 16, 21 on Farron, yeah. - Oh yeah. - I missed this.

So one's going to miss on Jericho, but one is going to hit. Natural 20 on Briggsie. And then the other one's going to, no, 17. Does 17 hit you? So it's just a natural 20 on you. You wish. Yeah, I do. One's going to hit Marius.

And then both are going to miss on your Grimm. So I have two natural 20s that I have to deal with. So I'm going to try and do this very quickly. Two, one. Lethika, you are going to take 11 points of piercing damage and a wisdom saving throw. Farron, you are going to take...

A 16 points of piercing damage and a wisdom saving throw. That's better. Actually, two wisdom saving throws because each one of you... Huh? Two for me? Yeah, because you got hit twice, right? Oh, yeah. I think...

And you, I crit on you, right? You crit on her. Yeah, let the gun bring in, if you want to get it. I don't. Yeah. So that's going to be another five points of damage for you. And yes, only one, only one hit for you. So only one wisdom save. Okay. So then 20, 28. Party cauldron. Okay, so he's a...

14 points of piercing damage for you, Jericho, and a wisdom saving throw. 14? Yeah. Oh, I failed my wisdom saving throw. Can you twist it? Yes.

Seven points of damage for you. That is a crit. I rolled very, very low. And then the wisdom saving throw, just one for you. - Yeah. - These little gargoyle fucks? - Yeah. - God, they're good. - Ten points of piercing damage for you, 'cause I rolled max damage and a wisdom saving throw, and nothing for you. - Wait, did you hit me? - Yes. - Oh, okay.

- I succeed my wisdom saving throw. - So if they hit you, it's automatically eight points because each attack has four. So that's eight points and then whatever the die is. - I need to make a wisdom saving throw. - Yes. - I fail one and I succeed the other one. - Actually pull out a question. - There's two out. - My lowest is a 15.

- 15? Okay. Everybody's wisdom saves, except for your room. - This one would be 20. - Oh, 21. - 20. - 27. - Okay, yes, you're all fine. You do not succumb to the effects of the gargoyle. That is their turn. That was their action. Now it's the big bad's turn, so that's kind of awesome. He is going to move directly towards Marius. - Yeah, what else to do? Question before you begin. I am not immune.

You are immune. I was gonna ask. Because you were petrified, but it was removed from you, that makes you immune for 24 hours. I didn't know if I had to succeed on the accident. So I don't have to worry about turn to stone for the rest of this fight, thank God. And that is lovely. Yeah, we're good then. Yes, all of you have somehow succeeded in some way. One arm is making sure that it is constantly tolling the bells, which means that he is...

a little less powerful in that regard. - I like that. - He is however going to use his other three arms. I believe he's gonna move to the side a little bit because he is so huge he can stand over the gargoyles. And so he is within range of Jorgren, Marius and Lethika. - I raised my whole shield. - And he is going to, is he at disadvantage?

No. On me. Just on you. Okay, so he is going to roll against you first to see if he... Oh, a 16 and a 17. Yeah, so he 100% claws you. Oh, never mind. He is going to... For Marius. Take me. Oh, yeah. He claws you. 15 plus 8. That'll do it. And then...

Lethika, he is rolled a two, so he does not claw you. And so for the two of you, he's at disadvantage still for you.

Not if you hit me, no. Okay, perfect. So I'm going to roll for both of you to see if he can devour you, and I rolled two 19s. That'll do it. Back in we go. Yep. Yes, your Grimm, I believe it is our time again. I don't want my spot, though. Marius, you're going to take eight slashing damage. Roger. Your Grimm, you are going to take five.

why is this die rolling so poorly on damage? You're going to take seven slashing damage. And then you are going to take, as you were devoured by him, you are going to take 13 points of piercing damage, Marius. Oh, I'm the new Briggsie. I'm almost dead. And then you're also going to take 13 points of piercing damage. As you watch as...

Danton, as the archbishop walks forward, continually ringing the bell, heralding in the night of sin, he reaches out with his three free arms, his four heads gnashing and slobbering as gluttony overwhelms him. He wants to feast. He was given permission by Mother Midnight to feast on you and the city as a whole. And he is...

All too familiar for you, Lillian.

- Chris. - And so that is his turn. - My name is Chris, Lethika. - Lethika, you are going to take three fire damage as you are whipped with the fiery aura that surrounds him. And it's your turn. What do you do? - Rally friends. We must take down this monster. We must defeat this evil.

for she will lead you through the darkness. Show her why you are the mistress of pain and I will slam my hand down onto the ground and erupting shadows will emerge from all around, scraping and tearing at everything except for my allies. Spirit guardians, let's get it! - Let's get it!

Shadows start to claw up. Oh, yeah. You know, at the end of Ghosts, that really horrifying scene where the guy goes to hell? Yeah. Oh, they're getting dragged to hell! They're getting dragged to hell!

They're getting sucked right to hell. Right to hell. And so I believe the minions just fucking die. Yeah, they all have one hit point. So if there is... Even if they succeed the thing, they still take two points of damage. They probably can't. I'll roll one for all of them. I rolled a two, so no. Okay. And he gets to make a wisdom saving throw. Do you see...

Do you see 16? He rolled a natural 16 plus his wisdom, which is high because he is an archbishop. I mean, I assume his wisdom is negative. Yes, he survives. Half of this. She can move. I'm moving for you, Lethika, to get the last spell. That's fine. That's fine. Does it matter if it's necrotic or radiant? It doesn't matter. Duh.

That is acceptable money. 10, 20, let's go 32 points of the damages. Oh, he smacks a rune. Oh, but he only takes half, so that would be 16. Because he's 16. Yes. That's important. Yeah, that's very important. That's really important. That's very important. And he spreads a sword.

I have a bonus action. Do it on Discord. If you like those fear guardians. Very cool. I have a bonus action and- And do you want to use it? Can I see your Grimm or Marius? The same rules apply. The hole in his stomach that I described gives you vision. His child is just slopping on the ground.

I thought it was a nice mirror to the chunk that Briggsie has. Yeah, it was. Thank you. You'll hear my voice muffled through the disgusting membrane of this nightmare nope-pope. What do you think she's saying out there? Twink! Twink! Twink! And a healing word. Enjoy night. Thank you, Polly. Let's go. Thank you. And I...

- Knowing that I risk an attack of opportunity, I'm still gonna fucking run. - He is going to attack of opportunity on you. - Oh, I will. - Which direction? - Perfect. - These are the bells, right?

- So 23. - 23 to hit? - That hits, so. - So he claws you and you're grappled. - We'll see if I can eat. - And he's going to attempt to swallow you with 16 plus eight, so that's going to swallow you. - Hey, Lothica, what's up? - So yeah. - Let's play Uno. - Wow, thank you. - Welcome back. - 14 points of slashing damage for the claw attack and...

16 points of damage for me. So 30 total? Yeah. I'm not playing Uno. I come into the stomach unconscious. Hey! I mean, been there before. Good night. Give me that. Give me that. Thanks, guys. I'm out of here. Play us out. Play us out.

With that, you attempt to move away, but these heads are hungry. They will feast this night. And as you move, the sound of your feet moving on the stone of the floor catches the attention of one of the four heads as it looks towards you, reaches out, grabs you, unhinges its jaw, and throws you into its maw.

Your body scrapes along its teeth like razor blades ripping at your skin as you fall into the acidic stomach acid. You look up at your friends for just a second as darkness overcomes you and you fall unconscious. I hit the acids in the stomach.

So that was Lethika's turn. He is going to use a legendary action.

You're going to have to kill him very fast or y'all are dead. He's going to reach out towards Jericho and attempt to make a claw attack. Natural 20. Oh no! Yeah, we're talking.

- Oh, thank you for reminding me. That's very kind. - 20 points of slashing damage. - I think I might be down here. - And then he's going to attempt to eat you and he does not devour you. - Oh my God, I got a natural six. - What's your AC?

17. Okay, yeah, yeah, no, it misses. So he is able to claw at you, but he is not able to consume you. Speaking of rusty hinges, I spit up black feathers. I went from 43 to zero hit points in one round. That's excellent. Yep, that's work. That's how this goes. Yep. Okay. My turn? Yeah. Fair enough. So seeing Lethika eaten up, I would... Miss Lethika, no!

And I would stamp my staff on the ground and that... And the...

Wicker would start to crawl up with the lichenous material and start to suck the life force out of. I don't know why I keep calling him the abbot, the archbishop. You can call him the abbot. His middle name's Costello. I will. I'm going to call him the abbot then. So he will need to make a constitution seven. It's against magic.

Did I give him legendary resistances? Because I don't think so. No, I don't think so either. Yeah. I actually don't think I did. Yeah, well, that hasn't stopped me from all this. Touche. Yeah, okay, so he's going to fail. Okay, so he takes 13 necrotic damage. Oh, gosh, I just failed my laughing. And then Miss Lefica will get two hit dice and have them available.

Plus five. Can I use them in the form of I'm dying? As long as you have hit die available. As long as you have them available, you can. She's just healing. Oh, I fortunately have just two hit dice left. Plus what, five? Plus five. Oh, there we go. Y'all are really lucky that you have the Fomori. Correct. Two, whatever. Just 2d8 plus 11. Big money, come on. 11. I mean, that's 11 more than you have. That's huge. Huge.

- I'm not dying anymore. - And then I would just roll in. - Were you within 10 feet of him? - No. - Okay. - But use the reaction. - Oh, that's true, that's true. - If I'm standing behind this bell, do I have any kind of coverage?

- Is it? - Or is it up off the ground? - It's up off the ground. - Oh, it is, okay. - 'Cause they're ringing currently. - Those are old. - Yeah. - Yes, there's seven of them. - With that, it is the terrain, no, it's not the terrain action. I don't know what this monster's one is supposed to be. - This monster! - I don't know what this was supposed to be. It's your room. - Um.

give him the business what do you think the chances are there's anything after this guy probably pretty high right beats them well we're in the top of

of literally the top of the entire city fighting with all the bells that have sent around, isn't the city going to madness? If Elden Ring has taught me anything, there's only one cutscene during a boss fight. I draw upon the mists. Let's go, baby. And I will attack recklessly.

- Oh! - Into this guy, I don't know. - Before you do that, to be fair, not fair, to be kind as a DM, even though you went unconscious,

Given the connection that you created and the spell that you did and the Mother of Mist and your entities, I will allow you to roll Concentration to see if you can keep your Spirit Guardians up. Because it was multiple hits. So that wasn't 40 damage in one hit. It was multiple hits. So you could actually keep your Concentration. One roll.

for the whole shebang. No, no, you have to roll for each damage. Oh, what a nice dungeon. And so I think you took around 40 damage, so you just have to be- Four concentration checks all at once. Did you take four hits? You only took two hits. I didn't know how many hits I took. You took 40 points. Well, I got hit by the gargoyle, so that was one. So I should have fucking-

- Okay, so you do have to roll for that, Joe. - And then I get two hits from the claw attack and the swallow. - So even though unconscious would normally negate it, I guess you can twist. - Oh, twist it? - It's my note. - Because of that, rather than use a twist, I'll use my one inspiration to make this free roll. - It's the last of them.

And that's a super mega crazy success. You wanna undo the, so that's what we're doing. Yes, yes. He already pulled two out, but I pulled two. Oh, I only took one. No, no, no, I pulled one and this, I succeeded the first one, I twisted and succeeded, and then I inspired and succeeded. Yeah, so the ones in just a while.

- Leave it out. - I only ever took one out. - And so with that, you still have your spirit guardians up because rule of cool DM wanted to do it and it's my birthday this week. - That's true. - So I do what I want. - Kneezus, you're just icky. I'm Kneezus. - That's gonna stick. - With that, it is somebody else's turn now, so. - He takes 32 damage.

- Whose turn is it? - Jorgrim's turn. - Jorgrim's gonna take 32 damage. - Oh. - Yeah, he did his rage thing. - 32, you said? - Yeah. - Yeah, and he went absolutely ape. - From inside of him? - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - Are we about to ride the vomit slide? - God, I hope so. - Whee! - Jorgrim looks down at Lethika as the light leaves her eyes for a second, but the,

You see bits of lichen and moss intermingling with the stomach acids in this entity as Farron invigorates Lethika and you see her eyes pop open almost instantly and you turn your attention to this being, this entity, this minion of Anya.

who had been a child, someone that you had trusted, and the anger, the wrath overwhelms you as you take your shovel and you begin slicing into this thing. As you bring the shovel down, bits of stomach acid come up with it and are flung over you. You see as they singe the flesh on the inside of its belly and you slice a gigantic gash into him. He grows larger as he's attempting to consume you.

but he can't contain this as he once again starts to convulse and you hear that guttural noise as he vomits all three of you back up onto the battlefield. He is going to vomit you actually into your friend. So I'm gonna have Jericho and Grigsy make a dexterity saving throw. - Awesome. - Dodge vomit. - I come out of the mouth, riding my chakram like one of those flying saucer sleds. - Nice.

Let's go. Because, yeah, that meets the number. And he has to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, he should have done that already. Well, he failed it anyway, so it doesn't matter. And he...

- Yeah, oh fuck. So he, the effects of what would have been on his next turn haste are, now he is just, yeah. - That's a great ability. I'm definitely giving my boss a bad. - Yeah, that is fucking sick, by the way. - Yeah, so the haste that had been on him at the end, that had invigorated him at the end of his turn completely drops and he is now unable to make actions.

including ringing the bells.

You know what I'm going to say now? I already rule of cool juice, so I'm going to rule of cool me. His tail is on that. The one arm, what I will say is the bells are ringing so voraciously at this point that even though his arm is slack, it's still enough weight to continue to pull on the chain. So it's a chain that's going up and it's spread out on all of these wheels and cogs to ring all seven bells at the same time.

And he is very strong. It is though, as we ruled, time for him to do the terrain action, which comes from the terrain and not from him. And so anyone within us, all of you need to make a wisdom saving throw. - Okay. - Come on, baby. - And tell me how many feet away you are from him when you give me your wisdom saving throw number. - How far can you throw us up? - Like immediately in front of you, yeah.

Jesus. 14 and I'm five feet away. Okay. From him? Yeah. Oh, if you're five feet away, you may get a disadvantage, but that doesn't matter because you failed. Wisdom, you said? Yeah, okay. I'm gonna roll. Yeah, okay. Finally. 13. Yeah, you failed. 15. How far away are you? From him? Him or the bell? From him. Oh. Five and a half feet, 10 feet.

Yeah, you bail. Seven and a half feet away. Seven and a half feet away. Seven and a half feet away as well. I got a dex. Yep. Is a- I know wisdom. Oh, wisdom is, sorry, that's a 16 then.

And you're 10 feet away? Yeah. Okay, you fail. Oh, please. You succeed. 15. You fail. Okay. 28, and I'm very far away. Fail. Oh, fail. Hearing these things, can I use my Bardic Inspiration? I have a 19 right now, but you decided. I'm metagang based on the fact that... Is Bardic Inspiration a reaction? No.

No, it's just that I can add a half of you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you got, how far away are you? I'm five feet away and I got a 19. You rolled a disadvantage? No. Yes, if you roll a disadvantage of your five feet. Yeah, so start with that. Then we'll see. Okay, so it's still a 19. Dude, I would do it. And what I will say is you pass, so I'm not going to make you roll your bardic inspiration. So everybody except for Farron and Lethika fails, I need you to roll a d6 for me and let me know what number you got. Roger.

I got three. Can you do that? You are overcome with greed. Overwhelmed by the gold, silver, and expensive relics that is quite distracting. And in this case, it is these bells. The metal on these bells is beautiful, inlaid with all kinds of...

unique metals. And you are no longer focused on fighting. Attacks and concentration checks are disadvantaged until the next terrain action. Son of a gun. That's all of us. You all got threes? I got four. Well, he had anointing damage. So I would like to experience the other one. So per usual, if you've got a...

- One, so you got a four. You're Envy again, so whoever's next to you, you drop your shovel and you wanna steal their-- - I got a one. - Give me the sword! - You are overwhelmed by pride, so confident in your abilities that you move about the battlefield recklessly. Attacks against you are advantage until the next terrain action. Saving throws are made at disadvantage until the next terrain action. - I got a five. - Sloth.

You are really tired. You fall asleep until the next terrain action. Oh, boy. Contest. Yes. Oh, are you doing it right now? Immediately. So immediately you no longer...

You prideful son of a bitch. Yes. I was only saying it doesn't attack, right? Or no? Just tell him it's a disadvantage. It's a disadvantage. Hey! Got him! It is currently the terrain action. Yeah, we almost crushed you. Not good enough. If it's, I think I only got plus eight.

So overcome with envy, Jorgrim, you spy Marius' sword again as you throw your shovel down to the ground and you look at this flaming sword that Marius holds aloft. Marius, overcome with pride, you swing this sword. He doesn't need it.

No, he doesn't need it. No, he doesn't need it. I haven't even swung it yet. I'm just standing there. No, you're overwhelmed with pride. You're twirling it around like you are flase da, as they would say on Drag Race. You are so flase da about this fight. This guy has nothing on you. He's yours.

approaches from behind. What are you doing? I'm so great, what the fuck? I'm not even using this, you selfish peacock. All right. I don't need it. That was easy this time. That is really the least of my worries. Oh, flame you! And unfortunately...

Unfortunately, that's not the activation word. Flamingo hotlender! You just keep saying it and going, I'm going fire stance! None of those are the activation words. How do you turn it on? I'm not going to tell you. Something about morning mode. If you were smart enough, you'd already know. By the thunder! That works. Ah!

I smite him. It really was process of elimination. All right. He has like 18 bonus action. It is now Briggs's turn. Briggs, you've been overcome by sloth. You fall asleep on the ground.

Everyone is being mind controlled in the city and there's bells going on and demons are invading our homes and our beds. I sleep. LAUGHTER

I think it's a good time for a nap. You take out your chunk and just... Good night, everybody. Good night, Hagmoon. Good night, Bells. Good night, Gargoyle. Good night, Hagmoon. Disgusting abomination that was once Stanton Alexander Renaud. And with that,

- That is Samaria's sister. - So what am I actually disadvantaged on here? 'Cause I gotta formulate a new plan. - You are pride, attacks against you are advantaged. - Are advantaged, okay. - Saving throws are made at disadvantage. So it's not your attacks, but you don't have your sword anymore. - Right, right. - So what I'll say is you could pick up the shovel and use the shovel.

You're prideful, why wouldn't you? He didn't need to be cocked around with a shovel. Because that's not your shovel. That's your shovel. I mean, sword. So I would say-- What's the die on the shovel? 1d12. 1d12? It's okay. It's nothing, you know, it's okay. Can I use it? Does it have to be, is it two handed? Yeah.

So the second you picked that up, are you going to now? I just have to draw. Yeah, you got me right on my show. Wait a second. Martyr of Lathander specifically references my sword. Am I able to use the Martyr of Lathander if I do not have my sword? Fuck it. Okay. Okay.

So seeing that your group has taken my sword, I'm shocked for a moment. You're prideful, why not? Let's see what happens. I look at you, I look in my empty hand, and I say, I don't have time for this, and I yeet my shield across the, it skitters, it hits and clatters, and it skitters off to the other side of the bell tower. I just see the shovel. I can command Lothander's power through anything, even

a common shovel and I pick it up and I twirl in both hands and I

I pull back like a baseball bat and I use the Marder of Lathander. The shovel glows bright gold as I mark this gargoyle to deal an additional 1d4 radiant damage, but I deal an additional 1d4 to myself to give myself advantage on my first attack. - Perfect, you do that. - So this will be the one at advantage, this is the one that's not at advantage. - You wield the shovel back and it starts to glow.

"Hey, I'll trade you back. Hand me the shovel first and then I'll give you the sword."

The unadvantaged one is like a 26 and then the advantage one is a 19. Both of those hit. So I will deal two 1d12s plus a d4 radiant damage plus I'm going to make both divine smites at level one. Okay. So that will be 4d additional 48. Okay.

And then do I just add my normal plus to the 12s? Like a plus, my normal plus is eight. Yeah, just add your normal plus. No, plus five. Plus five. Because two of it's coming from the duelist. Oh. You're right. That's right. You're right.

- So you just took a negative two. - So there's a max 12, six. So that's gonna be 18, 19, 20, 25, 27, 37 plus 10 is 47 points of damn glowing shovel radiant damage. And as this shovel connects and I smack one of its heads, ha ha, by the fender.

He can't use legendary actions because he is... Haste was dropped. So he's tired. Whose turn was it? That was Marius's.

It is the top of the round. That does mean that it is the lair action. And we said that the lair can take its action regardless. Of course. And so... I wake up, though. Now, right? What? No, not yet. No, not until Monsters 2. Or someone could wake you up. It's just sleep. I don't have time for that. But I don't think anyone's going to. He is going to...

Where are the gargoyles? Did you leave their big up? But they were all next to you because they didn't get a chance to move or do anything, right? Can you please put them all back into place? Sure. I mean, we can do roughly. I don't know if we'll be exactly. Just put one gargle on each of you. One gargle. Okay. Okay. I'm comfortable. And the lair action is going to use remission of sin. Oh. Oh.

Oh, wait, they're not living. Never mind, I'm not going to do that. Why did I put living? I should have said dead gargoyles. No, he's going to use Last Supper. I need you all to... Say no more gargoyles? No, no more gargoyles. They had to be living for me to do it. I was trying to do a bunch of damage to them. Well, they would have tied to my spiritual weapon anyway. LAUGHTER

Yeah, so I need you all to make a wisdom saving throw for me, please. As once again, you all see the shimmering visage of a last supper. Beautiful succulent pigs, goblets of wine, roast fowl and game. Buttery potatoes and an entire tree of...

a seafood tower and a large tray of delicious, decadent cakes and pies and custards. - I'm picturing Jesus eating a seafood tower. - It is his death day and his birthday this week.

It looks like it came from a red lobster, but a good red lobster. I have invented this. You can tear it off after you're done with this. Jesus. Holy shit.

- You said wisdom saving throw? - I fail catastrophic. - Yeah, I fail too, 'cause I'm at disadvantage. - Wait, wisdom? - I got 17. - Yeah, we've got twist. - The DC is 14. - I mean, we got twist. - So with disadvantage, what do I do? - I'm gonna use my inspiration. - With a twist, it's just a straight one roll. - Yeah, you sorta like clear it out. - Okay, all right. - Now we've all wazed in it. - Come on, come on. - That's great, thank you, Chet.

- 15? - 15 passes. You have seen this before and you still feel your dark entities within you and you were able to shrug off this visage of the feast.

as you shake your heads and the last supper begins to fade and dissipate. Oh, you failed? You rush to the seafood tower. There is an entire portion on the top, which is this really elegant shrimp cocktail with like a golden...

gem-encrusted bowl, which looks like it'd probably be used for a hero's feast. Full of cocktail sauce as you begin to just shovel from cocktail into your mouth. Don't take my sword, I need that. And you are now paralyzed for one minute. Oh, I'm so tired of melted butter. There's a bucket of old- I put my face under it.

Oh yeah, there's one rickety plastic table covered with butcher paper with a ton of blue crabs, some mallets, and some butter. And some cheddar bay biscuits. And some cheddar bay biscuits. I'm at that table. This is an excellent ultimate family feast. TM only at Red Logs.

So are we seeing him just like eat nothing? Yes. You're watching as the Last Supper is fading from your view, but for your Grimm, this is still very real. And you're watching as he's just shuffling. And then all of a sudden, you watch as he is paralyzed with his mouth open. And a flaming sword in hand. Flaming sword in hand, yeah. Right?

- Flamie, oh! - It's by Lathander, this isn't that hard! - And with that, the terrain action is finished. Briggsie, you are asleep. Marius, it's your turn. - Again? - Yeah. - No, that was later action. - Oh, yeah, wait. - Sorry, sorry, you're right, you're right. Jericho. - Oh, oh gosh. - Jericho.

- I will, wait do I get butter? - By lavender I can't believe it. - I am in utter disbelief that this is not butter. - Did I run to the feet, did I go somewhere? - This is not turned down. - Yeah, run to the very center of the room. - Is he gonna opportunity attack? - He can't because he is, he has no actions or reactions from haste, from the lack of haste. - Hey you can pick up my shoe wire over there and we can just completely switch weapons. - Listen.

Despite the shenanigans going on, I will see the city in absolute upheaval. All my friends are dying or consumed in sin. I'm feeling... Wait, what is my sin right now? I need to roll the play. Envy. Sorry, greed. You're greed. Oh, yeah. You are greed. Gosh, I don't...

Your attacks and concentration checks are disadvantaged until the next terrain. I actually have a song about bells because I want the bells so much. I'll sing a melancholy tune.

Sadder still to watch it die than never to have known it. For you, the blind, who once could see the bell tolls for thee. And I'm going to cast Mask Cure Wounds. Mask Cure Wounds. Let us fucking go. Let us. Let us fucking go. And I will...

I will then... Oh shoot, that was... Oh, it's a bonus action!

And then for my actor, I was like, give the fuck up, Briggs. Briggs, you wake up. My eyes just, my eyes open, but I'm still... Hey, Briggs, come get greedy with me. That's your whole thing. I'm not getting up. Can you figure out how we can steal all of these seven gigantic... No, no more greedies. Can't take sensitivity. It's not the time.

How much do you heal for? Oh, I forgot I need to roll. Do I heal? The sweet, sweet healing. I came a little far along. Oh, I would shimmy on over to you. Before or after you kick Briggs? Before all this happens. You get closer to the bell. You can shimmy over to him and kick Briggs' healing bomb. Yeah, yeah. During the shimmy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to get...

You are going to heal for six. Wow, God. It's better than five. Six times six is 36. And with that, it is his turn. Uh-oh. That's fair. Before his turn starts, he needs to make a wisdom saving throw. What for? Spiritual gardens. Oh, disadvantage. Oh, is it a disadvantage? Spiritual garden.

No, he's not on the ground. He's just unable to take action. That's irrelevant because he did fail. So what? 29 points of the damage. Yikes! What? More and more shadows continue to emerge from the ground and are scraping and tearing at his flesh. They're just sucking him right now. They're just sucking him straight.

I mean, if you're gonna go to hell, it's gonna be from the shadow. Suckin'.

Thanks, Jace. I'm glad we were clear, though. As the sucking shadows swirl around him, he is unable to move. And you watch as it's draining the life force from him in a similar manner as he is feasting and devouring the life force of the citizens of Cyril and Folsense. And it does a significant amount of damage. He is starting to look very, very weak, I would say. Uh...

He's either gonna kill you right now or you could potentially kill him, but you don't have much time left. And he now is capable of making actions. So he is going to look towards Jericho, Marius, and Lethica. No, thank you. He's disadvantaged. On who? Everybody but me.

Even without your shovel? Well, because I hit him and then lost my shovel. The mist is like... He would be like coughing up mists from his insides. I feel like we've really come together as a group. 16 for Jericho. I haven't tried to attack anyone. 16, that's actually going to miss.

Meanwhile, Jorgren is like, this is a great move for two Tuesday Marius feasts. They say it feeds the family, but I'm still hungry. One T2 for Marius? Yeah, my AC's only 16 because I lost my shield. Oh, great. You're resistant. 1, 1, 1.

I'm resisting. It's part of the feature. The damage. Yeah. That's fair. I've read my abilities. Oh shit, what am I doing? So I got a 19 to 15, 15 plus eight is 23. 23 for Laithaka.

That was a disadvantage. That hits. Yeah, perfect. So he is going to, once again, distracted, just like last time, he's going to miss as he reaches out towards Jericho. However, he is going to reach out towards Marius and Lethika, and grabbing onto both of you, he is going to open up two of his maws and toss you down into his stomach. Um...

Yeah, yeah, it's everywhere. And so let me do the damage on that. I feel like you can come back. The amount of times we've come down to this, guys. Lethika, 11 points of slashing. It's really tiring after all this, you know? Nine points of slashing. Oh, you take half, you take half, okay? And then you, Lethika, you are going to take-- Ooh, half rounded up or down? 17 points of piercing damage. Half, half.

Ooh, this is a new day. And you are going to take 11 points of piercing damage. Okay, half. Why are you guys taking half? It's part of the thing. What thing? It's part of the ancestors thing. If he hits someone who's not me, they're resistant to the damage. So we're both solid? You're both solid. Ugh.

Wait, is that why no one dies in Beneath Earth Winds? Yeah, it's that as long as you hit them once and they make attacks, even if it hits, they're absolutely nerfed out. It's hard to hit them, and even if you do hit them, they're resistant to the damage that's done. Wow, I've DM'd for you, for Tola, for three years and I didn't know that. I've played your room for 19 sessions and I didn't

It's a mega debuff. Why do I take half? Well, because of his Ancestral Guardian thing. It's a barbarian thing. You just saved my life in the best way. I had 15 health points, and this fucker did 28 points of damage. So I have one hit point left. Nice.

- He can actually do one more thing, so I think I'm gonna do it. - He just digested. - 'Cause he doesn't need all four of his arms. - True. - 'Cause he has a stinger and wings. - What? - So, yeah, he's a gargoyle. - Oh, yeah, he does have wings. - Okay, he is, even though it's only gonna hit one person instead of two, he's gonna make a wing attack against your Grimm. So is he at advantage against you?

- Disadvantaged health. - He would be neutral. He would be at normal advantage. - Okay. - Yeah. - Is that right? - He rolled a natural 18. So that is 26 to hit. - Well, pretty close to marriage of shield. - Eh, you're not that close. - Ooh, nice. Doing...

16 points of bludgeoning damage. I need you to make a-- He's paralyzed, isn't he? Huh? Yeah. Oh, shit. That's like an auto-critic. Yeah, it is. It is. Oh. It is. I thought you just meant advantage. No, no. It's the nastiest condition. 22 points of bludgeoning damage. And a strength saving throw. Your advantage on that, 'cause you're raging.

Rich, thank God you're a Mario player. Yeah. Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Would Paralyze cancel it? Would that be normal? You automatically feel strength in Dex saving throws. So you are automatically pushed 10 feet and you are knocked prone.

Oh, ten feet towards the shield. And that is his turn. Cool. Lethika. Lady Lethika.

I'm having a puke as a two years old. Here we are again together. Yeah, I'm putting, I'm like, I'm like putting a grape. Yeah. I'm packing my key and furniture at this point. I've got the fucking manual out. We might as well make it home. Lovely here this time of year. Marius, I dropped the allen wrench. What if we kiss inside the belly of the heroes of gluttony? Just joking. I'm there.

There's nobody allowed. We wouldn't have to tell anyone. We're supposed to be defending the field. I have not been doing this, but I am going to start doing this now. At the start of your turn within his stomach, you are supposed to take damage. Oh, you're dead. Your test. It doesn't matter. Four points of fire damage. Yeah, I'm fucking dead.

- Yeah, fuck you. - We're about to kiss and then he drops like, "Oh, damn it." - That's what it's gonna feel like, that Ikea furniture will never be fully- - The instruction manual says there's 18 pegs and there's only 17. - No! My love! - And so, yeah, Lethika falls unconscious. Okay, cool. And then he is gonna use a legendary action

to make a claw attack against Jericho. - Oh gosh! - And that's a disadvantage, isn't it? - Yes. - Okay, so it misses. Okay, Farron. - I am going-- - Sorry, Derek. - 19 per chapters, I can't get one? How do you wanna do this?

What I'll say is there's no chance you're gonna get out of here to do this on that turn. I'm gonna come screaming like a banshee from the right with my staff raised and swipe out at him. What does that sound like? Yeah, what does it sound like?

I need you all to roll a wisdom saving. I press my ear to the inside of the beast. What in God's name is that? I need to twist this. If I wasn't already awake. You need to twist what? The wisdom saving. Oh. 14. I'm gonna use my inspiration. No, no, I didn't actually, no, no, no, no, no. And I make a natural 20. Nice. Natural 20 for me. Nice.

- Nos plays. - Nos plays. And so that is gonna be... - Are you inside his belly or outside? - Outside. - I am outside his belly. - That's important.

It seems it works. I mean, just stick it in the, like, the chunk hole on the side of the bush mount. Oh, God. Get your staff into that chunk hole. Come on. And just shove. Children's children. There's someone unconscious in that chunk hole. We still have some chunk holes. Watch where you're poking! I'm in here still!

- No, I'm awake and I can feel it. - Are those antlers? - That is where the missing penguin. - So I'm going to make that attack. And as I do, you will see my staff start to glow blue.

and grow some additional like fungi and some things will start to sprout out of it and I will use withering entropy so he will take some additional necrotic damage on that hit. - I don't know what that even is. - That's all my special beast of light. Okay, so.

You take four points of fire damage. Oh, I'm gonna punch it. Five. Five. If I take damage, I'm gonna fight. If I take any damage at all. 17. That's 17 damage. I would like that Neo. 17 damage? Yes. And you said four? Yeah. Of fire.

You move up to him, you take a bit of fire damage as that fiery aura is spinning around him. You are feeling the pull of sin as the bells ring over and over and over again, but he does not stop in his desire and his hunger for food.

and gluttony, and he takes the damage. He is looking very rough. You can clearly see your friends inside of this entity. Lethika sinking down into the acidic stomach acid. Why am I trying to take this seriously? So when that fire damage comes at me, or my... Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry. I can't control my body sometimes. The runes on my antlers were starting to glow blue. Abby asked, did you double it for the crit? I did, yeah. I just rolled pretty shitty. But thank you for asking. You're also very frail person. Yeah, I basically have hollow bones. I will absorb that fire damage and save it for later. Very nice.

And so that is that turn. He is going to use a lair action and he is going to make a claw attack against Farron. - Farron, you're looking a little skinny if you consider the seaside trip trio. - 18, 18 to hit. That does hit. Okay. And then he is going to attempt to devour you. He fails. I'm actually gonna use a Twister Dread. - Oh! - Bingo. - He succeeds. - Oh! - Bingo. - Glad it happened to me. - Bingo.

- Bingo, bango, bongo. - You are going to take, fuck, seven points of slashing damage for the claw attack. And you are going to take, ooh, oh, 16 points of damage for the devour. As you slice into him, the fire whips around you and you almost, you look like you consume it. He looks towards you, his large tongue, his tongue flops out of his mouth

As he licks around his lips, he opens up his maw. His head shoots down and he consumes you and devours you. You are now inside. - Yeah, a lot of it is still sizzling, like actually sizzling. - And that was his legendary action. And he has used all three of them, I think. - Oh, I forgot he has legendary actions back. - Yeah.

- What can I do? Would any of this stuff have eluded me from my fever? - Oh no, you just get to, yeah, you just skip your turn. Skip your turn. - Oh, it's not the end of his turn? - Hold on, hold on, 'cause this is different.

- This is different than the terrain action. This is the lair action. It's for one minute, but you can repeat the save at the end of your turn. - Oh, okay. - So it is the end of your turn, but you can repeat the save. - We twist set until he gets out. - If you have the twists. - Do we have the twists? - There's one. - We got one. - We got one so far. - Thank you, Jax. - Let's see what happens. - Come on. - We got another, we got another. - I don't know. - At least we got more. - One more, one more.

It just is not five to two and I don't think it's meant to be. One more time. Four times the charm. It's what I've always said. This is why I have a crippling gambling addiction. One more time. Send it, send it. The next poll is the one there. Exactly. Here we go. I can't possibly fail. Don't fuck it up. What is it? What is the thing? You are looking for...

Last supper, 14. Is it save? Wisdom save. And you're not inspired. No. Bardic inspiration. 10 minutes. Has it been nine and a half minutes since I was bardic inspiration? Were you bardic inspiration during the second half of the fight or during the first half of the fight? No. It's all my business. We tried. Lobster bisque is awfully tasty. So no. You are still just...

Frozen, drinking the butter fountain. Just chilling. Well, you're prone now, so you feel that the butter fountain is just hitting your face. I just never always wanted this until it just started happening to me. With that, it is the terrain action, and so I need you all to yes. Sarah, are we no longer affected by our...

No, you'll be affected by something new this time. Ah, son of a gun. If you're within five feet, you're at disadvantage. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. In order for him and in order for death. Then you automatically fail. And so this happens to you if you become unconscious. Okay. Or conscious. Woo!

- Woo, double 18s. - Pull out a twist for me. - I cast. - What am I rolling? - Your wisdom saving throw. If you are within 14 feet of him or inside of him, you're at disadvantage. - Do we know the DC? - It is 17 if you are within five feet of him or inside of him. - I'm gonna use my actual inspiration. - Can I, can I twist? - Can I twist? - Yeah. - I rolled a natural one on my inspiration, thanks a lot.

- Thanks a lot, so. - How do you win this game without a twist? - 18. - Well, we made these fights to be that way. - You know what, fuck it. I got one twist, that's fine. - Thank you for the twist. - It was meant to be. - So who has failed? - I've failed in Sinful. - 17. - Is there one we haven't gotten yet? I'll be supporting. - Two, maybe? - What did you get?

You still have to roll it just in case something happens that you're no longer. Wouldn't I automatically fail something? Okay, sure. That's wisdom. Absolutely. Yeah, now you do. Okay. We're back down. So those who failed, including your grit now, roll a d6 for me, please. I got a six.

You are filled with wrath, filled with anger and fury against your allies. Use reaction to make a single attack against an ally. You may move up to your movement to get to them.

- Oh, Breezy, I'm coming to wake the fuck up, you lazy gator. - Oh, are you on the ground? - I'm awake, I just mechanically can't stand up yet. - You know what, can I give you two just for the fun of it? Well, you're dead, so no, we'll give you four. You're Envy once again, so you really can't do anything, it doesn't matter.

I wish I was alive. And I will give you number two, just because. You are lust. You find the grotesque form of Archbishop Renault irresistible, and you find him charming. You are dominated and charmed by him until the next terrain action. So you will be covered in butter, staring at him. You're ready. I just admire him.

This is more horror than the last time I've been here. It's really just the worst thing that's ever happened. Bishop, you're shoring me for the feast. Please don't rub your nipples. Please don't rub your nipples. The butter fountain is warm.

I got a 15 on crazy that I run out with my sickle. I'm gonna cut this fucking gator's head off! I don't even move, just mess. I walk forward. Oh gosh, you're over there! I'm angry!

I'll take my turn and mechanically stand up. And it's Rixie's turn. I was trying to take him down, and you wake me. Get the fuck out of my way. You get the fuck out. You know what, Rixie? We put up with your shit for too long. I'll put up with his shit for too long. All right, Archie. Let's split you open and see what's inside. And I'm going to walk up to... It's your friends and party members. LAUGHTER

I'll throw the Evil Eye at him and you'll see this neon magenta crossroad appear on him as I will hex him. And I will summon the Cutlass into my hand and attend. Where the crossroad is, I'm gonna slice in each direction of the cross. Love that. He's cross-slash like Cloud in the Final Fantasy. Exactly right, I'm using my limit break.

Cross and international, you know what I mean.

Is he stunned from the haste or no? No. No, he's fully active. They have not, he actually has haste, and so I should have done this. His AC should be like 20. One's a crit. Nice. The twisting one is a... Almost a crit. Almost a crit. Crit and then hit.

That's true. But what does that have to do with the process? Because he draws an X. But he draws a square first. Yeah, but he puts it in the, puts the cross in the square. He's just doing it by the book. Like he's checking the box. There we go. Come on, finish this guy.

You're coming around, aren't you? You don't want to be. Come on in, the butter's fine. I don't even want your pocket. Tantum, come to this Tuesday date night. I love how I come in right when I find out your room is covered in butter. I don't even have to roleplay it. If he wasn't paralyzed, he'd be suggestively rubbing himself.

But he can't move, so he's just laying there spouting nonsense about the... That's under over, boy. I never get the energy to squeeze out these little cups of butter. That's gotta be it. It's disgusting, but they taste delicious. You let loose the full power that Mr. Crossroads has given you, and you

as bits of flesh are blasted off of the archbishop. He begins to fall over for a second, but he catches himself and he rises back up and continues to stare hungrily at you.

And he is hasted, so he's gonna make two actions. - I'm going back away. I'll run very fast. - Well, he's gonna use his reaction to make an attack on you. - That's fine, that's fine. - No it's not. - 21.

Does a hasted reaction get two attacks? No. Damn it. That would have been great. But his legendary action will get two attacks as he is going to make two attacks against Jericho. Can't get there. Goodbye, friend. Claw attack against Jericho. 14 plus eight is more than enough.

- More than your AC. - Is it disadvantage 'cause of the ghost? - No. - Oh gosh. - 'Cause I didn't hit him much. - And so that is. - Oh, your rage drops. - Yeah, I know. - That's eight points of slashing. - No matter. I had to deal damage. - Or take damage, as long as one of them.

- Eight points of slashing. - I wanna see if it's advantage. Is it advantage? - It wouldn't matter. I would hit you at disadvantage. - I have one hit point left. - Well, you're going down, 'cause he's gonna devour you. 18. - 18, yeah, that's enough. - Oh, wait for it. - Oh, look. - Fine, fine! It'll be rolling. In Crossroads, you'll see that hack sort of blow and pulse.

Nine plus eight is 17. - It is, meter beat. - So you were throwing, I'm not gonna roll the damage, you immediately throw in your unconscious. - So you both are unconscious. - He gets another claw attack because he's hasted or another attack because he's hasted. So he is going to wing attack Briggsie.

20. Bridgie, 20. And that is his last, his final legendary action. Marius. I'm no longer affected by the pride, correct? No longer affected by pride.

I'm once again in this horrific place. It's happened way too much. I see my friends dying. I look at the shovel and I think to myself, God, I don't know what came over me. I have to apologize to your group.

And then I pull back and I make two attacks at this thing as the shovel begins to glow gold again. And I will attempt to, yeah, we'll see what happens. Oh, I'm disadvantaged. All this shit. Gosh, shut up. Why are you disadvantaged? I'm inside him. We're all trained in the stomach. Oh, yeah. You hate me. He did eat you. Yeah, four of us are.

One attack, one flight, I'll crack you guys down. I wasn't lying when I said y'all better kill him or he's killing you. Big money, big money, big money. Shit. That one's gonna be an 18 to hit. That hits. And this one is going to be a 17. That misses. Twister, twister. We need to at least get puked up.

- Do we know what the trigger is besides hitting him? - It's 20 points of damage from inside of his stomach. - Oh. - I couldn't have freed him, period. - Nope. - All right, so that's one hit.

You try punching him really hard in the gut. See if it works. Yeah, I did it right on his gut. I did the whole cross slash. I'm like, ooh, it's going to split open like the vinyl pig stance. Yeah, fuck it. I'm going to use Seamed for the junk. I'm going to use my final...

My final spell slot here, second level Divine Smite. Oh, okay. I mean, I have to fucking-- At least get a set. I would have to pull all fucking ones to basically fuck this up. So let's see how badly I can do that. Now that we're golden, that's a fucking max damage with the shovel.

That's going to be 22, 24 plus 5 is 29 points of damage with my Holy God behind the shield. How do you want to do this? Uh,

Again, I just kind of feel bad that I took your room shovel. I don't really, you know, I feel bad about it, but I see the opening. I see some semblance of pale moonlight pouring in from where Briggsie did this massive amount of damage, and I would take the shovel, the sharp edge of the shovel, and basically try to slash at him to cut his belly all the way open so that me and all of my friends could pour out with all of his innards and spill out onto the bell tower floor.

And you do that. Archbishop Bernal looks upon all of you with his four heads, now so bloated with the weight of the countless sin and sacrifice he has consumed from all of Fulsons, that it looks like he's at risk of popping, despite his stone gargoyle body. With all of his effort, he brings down both of his massive demonic wings to blast you with wind as he places four hands on his stomach and finally says, I'm full. I'm full.

With that same motion, you see the enormous, four-armed gargoyle take off into the air. Crashing through the roof of the bell tower as the stone and wood plummets to the city streets below, crushing townsfolk beneath the ruins. He turns his attention skyward as he takes off into the night, ascending ever higher towards the tiny silhouette in front of the leering hagmoon. You have one round to attempt to stop him. Choose what your attack is or what you're going to do. Roll the damage, tell me what it is, and we'll see if you can do it.

- How far away is he? - You can all hit. - Okay. - Even me? - I will say even you. Everyone gets an attempt to try to stop him. He's hanging on by a bare thread, but he's doing what he is told and he is heading towards the moon. So you have-- - So Marius cut us all out before. - Marius cut you all out. You all spill down to the floor. He was able to, he's holding on by a bare thread as he's rocketing towards the moon. You all have to--

essentially six seconds in unison to try and stop the Knight of Sin. - Am I still in power? - Except for you because you're unconscious, roll. - And Jericho. - And Jericho because you're unconscious. That's gonna make it really tough. - I would just, I would immediately see-- - I fail my destiny. - I would immediately see that he's getting up and I would, after I gain my bearings, I would just redouble and try to hit him in the head with a shovel. - So you choose what attacks you're going to do. Roll them. His AC is lowered.

because he is flying up towards the sky and severely wounded. So I'll do it, just, I don't have to monitor you and you just tell me what you're getting. - One attack or normally two? Just one attack? - It would be as if you were getting your full round of combat. - Okay, what's the damage on the sword? - His AC is now 16. - If you're wielding it with two hands, it's 1d10. - Cool.

17 and 25. Those hit? 20 points of damage total. Really? Yeah. Five plus five plus five plus five.

Okay. Oh, did I twist it? Yes, use twists. It's po-popping time. Goddammit! 36 damage. Really? One more, one more. One more, one more. One more twist. One more. One more twist. Thank you. Great. Think about blowing the 20, envision the 20.

- Are you stressed out? - Fuck! - You're only halfway there, that's a two, not a 20. - Yeah, halfway. - Use another twist. - I already used two. - Everyone needs to pull the weight for also Jericho. - You have to remember you're two people down. And this was intended to be for all six of you. - It's not meant to be, I've rolled three twos and a three. - Well, there you go. - I can't. - Should we do one more? Double or nothing?

Double or nothing. Yeah, pull another one out. Quadruple or nothing. Natural done, here we go. 17. Okay, 17. That hits. That hits four. It's 21. Okay. I'd say we're gonna reroll this damage if it hits, really. That was ridiculous. I don't think you can use twists on damage. Oh, yeah. Basically, reroll the 20s.

- Yeah, just tell me what the damage is. - Does it actually like immune fire stuff? - Yeah, if it's on fire, you get an extra 2d6 fire, but he's immune to fire. - Oh, okay. - Nice try though. - Yeah. - Sorry. - What did damage, what did you do? - 30. - Nice. - So I'm far, but basically as he's flying away, I wanna just like pull out the voodoo gun and just sorta like close one eye. And when it's in max range, I'm gonna go, I just shoot him twice. - Love that.

- 20 damage. I'm attacking with my staff again and using that Withering Entropy to imbue that with extra necrotic damage and then the historic fire damage that I have. - Oh, he's fine. - Okay. - Yes, what's the fire damage? How much fire damage was it? - 50.

Well, I'll roll fire damage if that's-- No, I am saying that I have to take away the fire damage. He's immune to fire damage. I wish I hadn't described it. Well, you are playing-- I'm trying to cheat it. I'm trying to cheat it. As he flies up, Marius Yorgrem, you are hardened fighters at this point, and without even a second--

between your fight with him, you waste no time as you slice into him, doing a significant amount of damage. Farron lets out everything she's got and it is not enough.

He flies higher and higher into the air, 100, 200, 300 feet. As Briggsie steps up, pulls out his gun. Blast! One of his wings flies off, but the other one is able to carry him higher and higher and higher. Blast! As he begins to fall and plummet. Got him.

I was looking for 100 points of damage. You did 101 points of damage. - Let's fucking go! - Not even close, baby. - What the fuck?

We're just too good. We're just too good. He had 106 when Kelsey said some of it was fire damage and I'm like, oh shit. How much fire damage? She's like, five. I'm like, thank fucking God it wasn't seven. Shit. Not your heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea.

- Vicious mockery for one point. - Let fucking go. - With that final strike, your last chance to stop the so-called Moonlit Rebirth, you see all four of the massive gargoyles' heads roll back as the fiendish glow in all eight eye sockets go dim and he begins to plummet back to Cyril below. The last light of Archbishop Danton Alexander Renault, not the silver light of Foltis, but the demonic glow of sin is snuffed out.

The corpse of the creature smashes directly on top of the fountain in the town square, sending bricks and water everywhere at first. But then, as the fiendish stone flesh of the bloated beast ruptures, the terrible demonic energy and black witchcraft from the countless sins he has consumed spews into the air, as the slithering silhouette of a Baelor takes off into the sky. But only for just a moment.

As a swirling undulating mass of eldritch energy attempts to rise skyward as if called by some external force, a dense mist falls over the city. Through the mist you see flecks of ghastly green light and these motes swarm together to surround the fragment of the demon and all of the sinful power until nothing remains beyond a cool,

autumn's mist at twilight. The last of the Baelor has been banished from Druskinwald. In turn, you hear a rumbling crack seven times in succession as the enormous black bells that surround you splinter and fall to sheets of inert metal. The beings that wander out of the mist into the streets of Cyril are human.

Gone are the red eyes and black horns, their humanity restored. Albeit confused and sick to their stomach, the simple human folk of Folsense gather in the town square to surround the slain beast that had once been the lord of their province. And as if on cue, once a large enough audience has gathered, you watch as the massive stone corpse of the gargoyle head of gluttony shrinks down to the frail body of Archbishop Renault.

His innards burst outward through his gore-stained robes. The people of Cyril finally witnessed firsthand the true nature of the man who led them down the one true path.

Meanwhile, the six of you stand among the ruins of the bell tower at the highest point in the Cathedral of the Blinding Light, barely standing at this point. Archbishop Renault is dead, the seven bailor of sin have been banished, and the night of sin has been stopped. Mother Midnight is nowhere to be seen, but it's clear to you now more than anything, you have saved Fulsons.

You've all leveled up, and that is where we'll end the session.

That's funny. Great boss fight. You're out. Great boss fight. Great session. That was an awesome fight. Wow, that was good. I'm sorry that it's so late. Thank you for staying late. It's midnight. Oh, I didn't even notice. I didn't even notice.

It is literally the edge of it. It's just over the edge. You owe me a healing potion. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud of Ersalmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash legendsofavantris.

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