Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 40 | Roar of the Bull: Part 2
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. I do not think that you are prepared to handle such an artifact, young... What are you doing here? The rest of the group went to find you. Hersha, she's grievously wounded. I don't mind telling you, I give...

Zero fucks about this feast. But we have no friends. Hey, you know, I don't really know what's going to happen tonight at this dinner. For as much as everybody keeps talking about staying calm, this place kind of just seems like it's tenuously hanging by a thread. You! Almost all of you refuse to kneel. But it seems as if the trust that Golden Lotus put in you was not misplaced.

Zurn, and he turns and looks at you. Would like to think that Zenshra is more fortified than Mogul Kai. I laugh. I've been tailing the horn legion for weeks now. They're fixing to trick you. They're coming for this seal. It's the seventh one. Once they smash it, there's no going back.

I believe the intention and they want to draw you out. A hawk drops to the ground dead and suddenly you hear a shriek as they start flying around, you're fluttering ahead as they are freaking out, smashing into the walls, dead hawks flying. You see the tigers all look around.

looking at each other, roaring, snarling, as they start bounding for the door. What's going on? And Kargash holds his head. They're here. They're close. He is coming. I felt the same thing. Baphomet, the Horned King, he's here. We're going to have to make our own answers to this. Maybe. I think, yes, we might not have...

Hold up, we do not have a weapon.

We don't, but I have no reason to believe that Golden Lotus will not use it. I believe she will use it, but for what purpose? We don't know. As you enter the room, all five of you, Persia stirs. You all stand in the infirmary on Mogra Kai, quiet as return after the kerfuffle of the madness of Baphomet affecting all of the beasts.

in the city. You five stand as you stare off in the corner, and you see Torvald passed out, exhausted. No bottles of booze around him, giving up those old habits, but just simply passed out from exhaustion. And you see lying in bed, seemingly cleansed of the corruption, no more swirling darkness from Miska the Wolf Spider, the original Prince of Demons.

and seemingly conscious, Hersha's eyes flutter open and look at you. What do you all do? - Hersha. - Hersha, how you feeling? - Oh, I've had better days. - Us too. I mean, don't sit up, just hold on to your energy. - I wasn't gonna try to sit up. - Would you like a large bowl of jello salad?

No, not really. She's broken. That's not a good sign. No, it's not a good sign. Are you sure? It's very delicious and apparently a food item that I'm told is good. She kind of, her eyes are fluttering open and closed and she's very weak and tired and she says, that's really nice, right? But I'm not hungry. Would you like to summon Peter? No.

I apologize, by the way, to Maya for my horrible accent. Of which there is none. Of which there is none. And she looks and she kind of thinks for a moment. Now let's let her rest. Yes, she's very cool.

Just check her. Honest, you've been through a lot. Do you remember what happened before you woke up just now? What's the last thing you remember? You should probably take a look. I lean over to Iris. Oh, you know, I died. And... Her eyes are kind of glazed over and she's trying to focus. She looks at you, Iris. And... Anubis saved me. And...

"Oh, I'm here now. And I'm with my Pa, and I'm happy." And she like, she kind of smiles and just seems very content.

I would like to medicine check her to see if she's just as tentacly as everybody else, but without the tentacles. Make a medicine check, please. And I think you speak Nikki, so you know what that means. What level of tentacle are we talking about? And what am I doing? Medicine, you say? Medicine! 16. 16. You spend a few moments checking her. She seems to be fully cleansed of whatever it is. And this seems to be Hersha's

as you remember her, right? And so she's definitely fully aware of everything she's saying. She's very tired and sometimes kind of fading in and out, like someone who is, you know, might have a fever or is recovering, right? It's a lot of, there's a lot of work that's recovering there. But it's her film. So she doesn't seem like Revali or her dad.

Oh, I mean, at this point, you notice that there are some similarities. She seems a lot more peaceful and seems like all the things that you'd expect her to get excited about, she's very, like, you know, held back on. Well, physically, she seems like she's improving. I never thought I would see the day where I would say, mentally, she seems like she's degrading. Did you look at that chin? Her chin does not seem to have any tendrils on it.

She kinda leans her head back sleepily. I talk- Sorry.

You told me that it was, you could handle it entirely. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, you did tell him that. Oh, let me get on past you. Okay, got it. I cast Inlet on myself. Epic battles, compression gym versus producer Rich.

That's literally... Okay. Back into it. I talked to my pa and I like it here. I think I'm gonna stay. What? Oh yeah. No, I'm gonna... You are for sure. I'm gonna stay. Be with my pa. We're gonna find ma. Gonna have her come here. It's gonna be one big happy family.

That sounds lovely. We'll have to come to visit you. Yeah, maybe don't make a permanent decision right after a life-threatening illness and we'll talk about it in the morning. The city's currently about to be raided and destroyed by a band of beastmen, so should people survive, this could potentially be a place to live. Or it could all be in ruin. Only time will tell.

But in the meantime, rest your weary head. That sounds nice. Yes, destruction. And she leans back. We're glad you feel better. This is... Butter? Butter? Better. Cheddar? Cheddar? What are they saying, Phoenix? I don't understand. I'm not following the conversation. Is this that demonic language you've been speaking or learning? Well, unfortunately or unfortunately, no. I think they're flirting. Oh.

I'm sorry, Capricci. Gonna have to say goodbye once this is all over. What do you mean? Because I'm staying here with my pa, and you're gonna move on like everybody else. Nothing has been decided yet. We... No permanent decisions right now, all right? Are you gonna stay here forever? I'm glad that you are happy that your pa is fine and that you're here and that we're all here. That's great. I'm very fine. No, the... I...

I had a realization. The Eternal Blossom is the daughter of a Mordrem. Huh? What? What do you mean by that? How did you determine that? I talked to my Pa, and he said it. So I believed him. And Pa is still asleep on the Invermor. Yeah, he's passed the fuck out.

Okay. I feel so much better. How passed out is he? He's like, out, coldly snoring. You stay. No. Stick your hands in his beard and tell me what you feel. No. Perfect.

That's all? That happens. No. She raises her spoon a little bit. Yeah, I will go over and I'll take the end of my spoon and try to, like, hurt his beard with it without touching him. So, if anyone has seen Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest, where would you go?

when he takes the little things and he's like dealing with Davy Jones' tentacle beard with the key. That's literally what it feels like as you're in there and you kind of part it and you can very much feel like the fleshy tendrils coming down from his chin within the beard as you kind of like... I'll pull my spoon back out and like wipe it off with my shirt. And do you believe me now?

Yeah, I believed you before, I don't know why I had to go in. It's more your area of expertise. I don't see how. I haven't felt this calm since... in a long time. You all should try dying. I don't like this. We should... I'm not gonna try that. We should scare her. Or something. What was this like?

There was a big guy and he brought me back. It wasn't long. But I'm feeling at peace now. I'll be with my pa and my ma and the orcs here, they're so nice. Um, is there anyone else in the room besides us and the father? Like other beds, right? I mean, there's a broader room, for sure. Are there other, like, patients in the beds and things?

Oh yes, yeah, and so you're not sure how private you are. Yeah, exactly right, exactly right. Various states of consciousness.

I'm just thinking about my toolkit. Give me a moment. Oh yeah, that guy right there, he has chlamydia. Yeah, he's got it right there. He's awake. He's got the whole freezer full of pipe. He's awake. He's very awake. That guy right there, he had chlamydia. That guy right there, let me get on past it. It's real nice to get on past it there. Okay, Bob. I feel so calm now and peaceful.

Well then maybe we should just let you rest, and we'll worry about all of the big bad stuff that's out barreling down on the city. We'll be fine, I'm sure. But... don't try not to miss me too much. I also never thought I would say this, but Hajar, you will. You'll miss me a lot. I'll miss you too. It'll be nice here though. Very nice.

This doesn't sound right. You don't sound like yourself. I mean, I know you're just coming out of a traumatic experience here, but this is not the Herja I really have come to know. Well, Capricci, maybe this is the me I always wanted to be. This is who I should be. I feel happy now. I'm sorry, Capricci. There's nothing to be sorry about. I guess I'm feeling very confused.

But I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm glad you're with your dad. I get to be with my mom, my pa, forever. I feel happy. I'm sorry. I'll never forget any of you. I'm going to...

Walk up to the side of the bed a little closer and pull out my viol and put it under my chin. Do you remember this? Do you hear this? Herja. Herja. And before she can respond, I'm using that energy to cast a spell magic. Okay. Ooh. Ooh.

Roll for it. Oh. Is there a roll for it? Let's find out. If it's higher than the casted level. You're right. If it's 4th level or higher, make an ability check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 plus the spell's level on a successful check spell ends. Uh...

What's my spell? Is it my spell attack modifier? Probably. No, it's just your +5. Is this +5? Whatever your charisma is, yeah, +5. 20. Oh shit. Flat 20. You play this song and you channel a little bit of magic, that final twang of your violin kind of has that magical resonance. And it washes over and you just see her just kind of snuggle back and smile.

I'm going to miss your songs and preaching. You're acting like we're all going to leave, like this is over, like you're saying goodbye. All good things come to an end. This is impossible. I do not understand what you are saying to me right now. I'm sorry. I know you're just recovering, but like...

There's a whole battle coming. There's a whole, uh, nothing's been decided yet. We're not saying goodbye. Boss says I have to rest. I can't be in the battle. He'll be mad at me if I do. I agree 100%. But that doesn't mean we're saying goodbye, that you need to miss my songs, that you're not going to have me in your life anymore, right? I'm going to stay here, Capricci. You all are going to move on. Well, none of that's been decided.

I know this is hard. Just give us some time to rest. You know I found the Eternal Blossom? Yes, the daughter of Moradin. The daughter of Moradin. I hope you do too.

I'm sorry. Mm-hmm. I am sorry, too. I am sorry that the battle went the way that it did, that you fell in the first place. I'm sorry that we find ourselves in the middle of all this. I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm glad you're feeling better. Me too. Me too. I think we should all get some rest. Yeah.

I agree. Uh, Persia, I hope you feel better. We'll come back and visit soon, I promise. Good luck tomorrow. We'll keep the city safe, don't you worry. You just rest and recover. She just nods and smiles at you. Just grab Caprice around the shoulders and guide him out. It's okay. Now, uh,

be easily led. You see a very slight wave, but a peacefulness and a contentment washes over Herge's face. And once again, Caprice, you take one last look, but she's fallen soundly asleep, sleeping peacefully, not far from her father. And it's probably the most peaceful sleep that you've seen her in in a long time after traveling together. I give her a smile. I'm pleased to see that she's alive.

You do that and she does seem to be alive and well. What they decided on, or what Golden Lotus and Torvald had promised to keep her alive and heal her, they didn't. And she is sleeping peacefully. The night is quiet. Despite every so often on the wind, you hear the potentially war drums. You're not sure if it's the sound of your heart beating as the firelight in the distance

gets closer and closer and you start to feel something at the back of your mind same kind of panic almost primal you get a sense of maybe what those hawks and tigers and yetis all felt and you just feel uneasy and you realize that maybe you are the only five in this entire city that feels that as you make your way back do we i guess well when we get back i'll look to see if volley is anywhere in sight

Excellent timing. You turn the corner into that beautiful glade where you have been posted up, and you see that common sitting area where there's usually snacks, mostly pistachios, because Derek decided it. But a variety of food items.

And where Revali had been, had been missing, he now sits. And you see him. He's deep in thought. His hair now is cut shorter. Shorter than you've seen it. You're used to that almost shoulder-length black hair, and now it's cut very short. Almost similar to the style of the orcs of Mogukai.

He's wearing very simple vestments, but he's bundled up a little bit more, and he has a scarf around his face as he stares down at a board that looks-- a wooden board that seems to be some sort of game. It's not like any kind of chess or game that you've seen, but there's a number of painted wooden tokens as he stares at it, and you can see that he's playing against himself.

And he's deep in thought, moving pieces back and forth as he plays this game that seems to be strategic back and forth. Captain Freewing, I'm glad to see that you're back and okay. I'm not a captain anymore, Koa. You can relax. Yes, Captain.

I'm not a captain anymore, Toby. You can relax. Oh, all right. Captain, free me. He looks back at his game and he reaches down with his only hand and he grabs... He has a sip of tea. This very... The steam is rising off of this porcelain cup as he grabs it and he raises it to his lips and he drinks and he just... His eyebrows are furrowed deep in thought as he's

His eyes are darting back and forth to different pieces as if he's trying to outwit himself. Playing the game. Did you hear the commotion in the city earlier with the beasts? I did. What did you see? I saw that crane that's been hanging out. Flew right into the willow. You can still see the blood splot right there.

And he points over and you can see just the very light from the lantern. You see on that willow, there's been a crane back and forth, you know, been fishing in this glade for ever since you've been here. And you see a smear of blood against the willow. Does that concern you at all? I don't know why it would. Everything calmed down in short order. You're not worried about what got everything worked up? That it might happen again?

I know that it was the work of Baphomet, but obviously things calmed down and I've finally figured out a way that I can help, even though I'm not a fighter anymore. And how's that? Strategy. And he points at the game. Oh, I love games! What are you playing? And I'll jump up on the back of his chair. This is Shopai. This is a strategic game that the orcs here play, and it's supposed to

be taught from a young age and it teaches you to be thinking at least five steps ahead of your opponent. And so I'm... I was taught, and he kind of like pulls, as you get closer to sit down in front, he kind of pulls the scarf around him tighter. And he's... as he moves a wooden token that has a painting of some kind of flower. You see there's a couple of fish and a tiger and a yeti, and he moves it. The cat

Rivali, if you don't mind, maybe you could teach me how to play. I don't think I'm gonna get much sleep tonight and maybe I could match your wits. I would bet you could, Felix. And if I'm gonna be able to help in the battle tomorrow, I need to be, make sure my mind is sharp and I'm thinking like our hosts. I'm thinking five steps ahead of those beastmen.

I've been trying so hard for so long, and I've just been following and following and following, and five steps behind, a bunch of bulls, goats, beasts of burden. But I think now, after coming here and realizing where I've been so wrong, I can finally help. I can finally outsmart those sons of bitches. So you're going to help tomorrow? I begged and pleaded, and although I'm not one of them...

They are welcoming me in slowly but surely. I think I made a big step today. They're going to help me at least contribute my mind for strategy. I talked to one of the generals today and they were impressed by some of the battle plans I'd suggested and I basically got on my knees and groveled to let me help and they're at least going to allow me to contribute my ideas. And he kind of looked forward and

This is the move here. Well, do you know what Baphomet's plans are? We've learned something that may be new to you. Yeah, gonna attack the wall? Same thing from... from Zentra, I presume. No. That's a step ahead that I have that they don't have. I've seen it. No, no, they're not going to do that. They're gonna attack the seal directly somehow.

That's impossible. Do you know how defended the city is? He finally turns attention away from the game to look at you. That's why I wanted to bring it up because you spent your entire life defending that seal at the lodge. Is there some way that he could somehow bypass defenses and all of a sudden just destroy it? I wish I knew, Toa. I spent months, so much time following and I

I've seen what they've done to these towns, these communities, and I've failed to stop any of it. But now, with the Eternal Blossom, anything's possible. I can finally contribute. I can finally protect the seal. I don't even know how the Lockfeather Lodgers do it. Did you know that the Eternal Blossom is the daughter of Morrithin? Sorry. That's not so very interesting. I didn't know that. Is that true? Yes, of course. Well, gods, I don't question the gonzon or the relations of the gods.

As long as I'm guided to truth and tranquility, that's what I care about. I finally have my purpose and that brings me peace. Does he seem any different from the last time we saw him? He seems... Go ahead. He seemed relatively... Does he seem less resigned than last time? I say he seems very similar. Okay.

Where last time you talked to him, he was kind of bemoaning the time he wasted with his old philosophy, right? And his old ideals. And how he's found peace and happiness and prosperity, and he finally found something that fulfilled him. Well, if you're going to contribute, I suggest you get some rest as well. I'm going to be up for a while. I've been sleeping a lot lately. I mean, after being in the...

Being in the infirmary and being in the hot springs, I've just been doing nothing but resting so I can at least work my mind. I may be useless in battle, but I can at the very least use my mind to help the coming storm. I have to believe that. All right, Will. Don't stay up too late. I'll turn everybody else off. I think we should try to get some rest. Prepare ourselves for tomorrow. Just because we think they're going to attack it

Night time. We don't know. We need to get to the seal in the morning. If we can find a way there. All right. I'll get some rest as well soon. I just want to spend some time with the captain. I want him to show me how to play this game. I like games. And it's been a while since I've had some time to talk to him. So I'll get some sleep. I just got to work some things out in my brain. I don't know if I could fall asleep right now anyway. That's fine. Mr. Captain, good night.

It's not Captain anymore. Goodnight, Toa. Just call me Revali. I've been having nightmares lately. Would you mind staying in the room with me tonight? Just in case I need music to calm the soul and allow me to sleep. I actually think he needs us and I need him. So you might have to help me out on the stage, Whisper. I did. I did.

There's that sound. Do I know if there's any alcohol in the facility? Absolutely. No, there's usually a nice supply of plum wine, spirits, and whatever you can find. Probably a variety. I'll go grab whatever I think looks good and pour myself a glass. Yeah, absolutely. Well, that's a boy, yeah. I'm so excited. We're going to have a sleepover. Yes, that sounds so good.

I can't wait for tonight. And I'm like shaking and kind of looking at Felix sitting behind Revali. Oh, I'm so tired. If only I could just get undressed and, you know, get ready for bed. Oh, just like unwrap, you know. That reminds me. Caprice. Yeah? We're going to get her back. We're going to make everything right. I promise. I know.

All right, Captain. I'm sorry. Revali, show me how to play this game. I'll hop off this chair and go with you, Jennifer. Bye-bye! Can you grab a drink for me? I'm going to need one. Well, at least there's someone who's game. How's Harjit doing? And so he starts explaining the game, how

It's a strategy game and every token with the different painting, painted symbol on it has the different rules of how it can move across this board and the whole purpose of the game is to be thinking five to ten steps ahead of your opponent. So it's very strategic and that happens in the life you're talking about. No, I have nothing in mind. I really do want to just spend time talking to him, catching up with him. You get a sense of, so you have a sense of,

Pretty simple at the surface, but the depth is where it gets very tricky. - And I would be trying to beat him. I want to mentally challenge him. - I would say that like- - As quickly as I can learn the game. - That you would understand and you would probably beat him after like 30 minutes of trial.

After your first time. And then you start going back and forth, and you're kind of basically going tit for tat, right? Of going back and forth. So after you play for an hour and a half, and he kind of leans back and he says, man, Felix, you are a lethally quick study, I gotta say. It's one of the only things I have going for me. Well, maybe after this is all over, you can stick around and join me and add your strategic mind to the military here. Maybe, but...

Maybe there's an equal chance that you come with us. I don't think so. I'm finally happy. I'm finally happy here and I finally found my purpose. I was so miserable for so long and I see that darkness in you, Felix. We had similar upbringings. Our mothers had the same occupation. And I felt the weight of that and the shame of that for so long and

Now I don't... I'm free. I'm unburdened. Well, let's not be too hasty, alright? We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow and after everything's said and done, hopefully we can have another conversation. I hope so. And if you don't decide not to stay, then I hope you at least stay safe. Absolutely. And we can play more of the game. You need to practice. I do. They're gonna keep me around if I can still keep being useful. I better master this game.

And he's half paying attention to you and he's really focused on the game. Well, if you don't mind, I'm gonna take my tea and retire now. Don't hesitate to knock, alright? I will, and I'll only be up for another 30 minutes. Good night, Revali. Good night, Felix. And I'll sip my tea as I head back to my room. Do that. You find, I guess, Toa. Pass the fuck out, I know what you're doing. Yeah, I'm just totally going. Totally zonked out.

So would I hear him get back in his room? Yeah, I would say that. If you're staying up and listening for an evening. Yeah, I figure we're... A couple hours would have passed, but... Yeah, yeah, a couple hours. Whatever you guys are drinking, hanging out. What are you guys doing? I don't know. It's all to grace. You drowning your sorrows. I'll take a big swig of my plum wine. Forgy. And I'll look at the...

two beds that we have in the room that is this particular room, because as I recall it was two beds per room. I will notice you looking at that and I will pull some things out of my pack and I'll set up a bed for myself in the corridor. Please, you're welcome to my bed. It's too hot for me. You'd be doing me a favor and letting me sleep in, so please take it. It's awful, honestly.

I really appreciate the gesture. I was going to suggest maybe a form. Yes. I would love to build a fort. I used to build those with my father when I was a kid. And I loved it. It was so fun. Shut up, Lufty. I'm talking to Caprice. It was amazing. Yeah? Yes. Are you all right? Oh, she's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

Well, if we take these two mattresses... You just go build a fort, I have to do something! And I'm going to leave the room. Obviously, she did not build a fort as a child. I think if we take these two mattress frames and put them together, they'll be kind of pyramid-esque. Let me get my linens. We can tie them together and we can create a nice partition. We can have multiple rooms. Do you think if we dig into the floor, we could create a pool? What about a bathroom?

- Any, yeah, let's do it. - Let's make it golden. - I will invest as much energy as I have into creating a, as safe as I can feeling place to sleep as I can imagine.

- You do that. - And I help. - And you spend time and Iris runs out behind you, Lufty, as you storm out and grabs some herbs from this beautiful garden right by the lake or the pond that you're at and grabs a handful and is gone in 30, out and in, in 30 seconds. - And I say,

"Hurry back, Lufty! We're making a garden and a bathhouse! I'll put a bed for you right next to mine!" And I slam the door shut. And the door slams, and Lufty, your small frame just stomps out, frustrated, and you kind of... the moon is waning.

but it's still quite full and it's shimmering this beautiful silvery white light across the pond where that familiar crane had always been no longer there. And you see the lantern light is illuminating this small common area.

It's quiet except for you, and you hear the soft breathing of Revali, who's fallen asleep, slumped over, his arm kind of spreading out the tokens as he's fallen asleep onto his show pie board.

Oh, Mike, what gifts you deliver. Did you see my Grinch smile? I slowly creep over to Revali and I reach out and snap his neck! Who's the captain now? So I'll go over to where Revali is sitting and...

I'm going to get down real close to his face and just make sure he's asleep. He's breathing slowly and evenly. Make yourself two tiny fleshy appendages grab you by the face and pull you in. Okay.

That is very good. Yikes. You needed a birthday blow. I did need a birthday blow. Would you have me do perception? I'm getting that frost-ditched. I'm so sick. He seems to fly as fucking fast asleep. I've been drinking some, like, good enough.

So then I'm going to look at his board and see what it's set up as, if there's anything that I would understand from his board. I would say that this is a totally new game for you. This is something that's been played by the Orcs of Mograkai, that seems to have been invented by them.

And so you also get the sense that it's someone that's been set up, but he's been slumped out. So some of the pieces are kind of just pushed against his arm. So it's been messed up. But you can see that there's a formation that he's been playing against himself, and he's been trying to teach himself to be thinking that far ahead.

You pull up the rulebook. What do you mean I can't cast two spells in one turn? Fucking horse shit. Okay, alright, Eric. Settle down, we don't have to attack fields like that. So I would very carefully swap three of his tiles.

And then I would get very close to his face and see if I could pull away the scarf. Make a stealth check. For all of that. God! You did get a birthday blow. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna use my drunken lucky, my drunkards. You're able to do that as part of your, the features?

That's new, right? Yes, that is a new thing. So I'm gonna use two of my ki points to reroll. That's how it differs from luck. That's how it differs from luck. From now until forever. Forever more. That is 20. 20. So you kinda look and you're like...

And you mix around to, like, you move a Yeti piece to like a... You see that there's actually a Raven piece that's like the big bad.

Piece and he's like trying to outwit and you see a vulture you see an owl right? But then there's the they're all looking menacing and evil me see a hawk and it's looking very heroic you get the sense you see that the a grotesque almost propaganda image of a human of an elf of an air Cobra and you can get the sense this is very much like a big

good bit of propaganda built into a game. It's kind of like yikes. It makes you say yikes. And you move some things around, but you're not thinking that deep. As you kind of lean in and you very carefully...

reach down and you see Revali's hair, which would have been slumped over his face so many times before, is now almost buzzed, how short it is. And he's breathing pretty heavily, seems to be exhausted. Spending all day begging and pleading, whatever generals he had to, and you reach in and you grab the scarf. You gently pull it down and you see on his chin like a very

young catfish. Two small little fleshy tendrils from his chin. Not my boy! They're just starting to...

Peek out. We're gonna have to kill everybody. I'm gonna go. And cover it back up. You do that. And he kind of lets out a snore and then slumps forward and knocks the rest of the pieces off onto the ground and clatter. But he remains asleep. He should have pulled it back and seen if it was like one of those stretchy hand things that you could slap against the wall. You know. Yeah.

I loved those. So I'm going to then go back down the hallway and go into Felix and Toa's room. Okay, so there's a little, I guess you definitely don't lock yet, and so like, Felix is like sitting, drinking some tea before bed probably. Yeah, I'm in my notes. Yeah. Toa's passed the fuck out, she's in the writing desk. I have a little bowl of water that Beatrice is bathing in. Yeah. As I'm writing and thinking and sipping my tea, but I do hear the door open. Unless you're like super stealthy.

It's very obvious and the light streams in from the lantern. I'm gonna immediately like whirl around. Shhh, Joe is sleeping. Oh, he's fine. I'm gonna just go like jump on him, but then just kind of levitate just above his body. I swear if you wake him up, I'm gonna be up for the next four hours. He's not a baby. You'd be surprised.

Okay, I'll buy that and I'll go over to Felix's bed instead. What are you doing awake? I've been just, well, first I just got very miffed about the situation in my room because I have asked no less than, I don't know, a baker's dozen times to make a fort with Iris and she just, you know, and Caprice was like, oh, okay. What are you talking about? I didn't mean to.

You know what I'm talking about. Like, you never wanted to make a fort and then... You want to make a fort? Yes! Do you? Luffy, I'm really busy here. I...

I'll remember this. But getting on to other things. So I got kicked out of my room. Okay. By my own choosing. And then I went to see Revali and he was asleep. So I messed with his game. But I was just curious because he was hiding his face. And you know why? I think you know why. I noticed that too. I didn't want to be so forward as to ask him to remove it.

That would be kind of gross. I'm glad you didn't. I had to see it, and I'm glad that you didn't have to see it. What did you do? I looked. What am I gonna not look? Oh no. It's there. They're both there. It's disgusting. Dammit. What did he say to you?

I mean, nothing. Look, I thought that I could challenge him to the game. I mean, mentally, he seems like he's all there. He's sharp. He was good at the game. It's not like his senses have been dulled. He had a renewed sense of purpose. I was hoping that maybe he would divulge some information. I just wanted to see if he was normal. Did you figure out the game? Yeah, the game was easy. That's not... So what was he doing? He was planning. He was being strategic, like...

What he's going to do? Would I have been able to discern anything other than it being a strategic game for him to increase his skills of strategy? That's exactly, that's all it is, as far as your assessment. Look, there was no hidden code. There was no hidden anything. It was strictly a mental exercise. And while he's not the Revali that we know, like mentally, he's still sharp. He's there. Look, I don't know what to believe. Obviously, we have to do something about Baphomet.

But, and I don't necessarily think that the Eternal Blossom has anything malicious going on, but... You don't? Whatever it's doing is clearly turning people against what they want to be, and that in and of itself is evil enough for me. We might have to ally ourselves right now with the lesser of two evils to defeat this Baphomet and figure out what the Eternal Blossom is up to. But anybody that can change Hersha and change Captain Freewing...

Something deeper is at play here and I don't know what it is and it's really starting to frustrate me. Well good, get frustrated. I'm trying, I just... I don't have the answers and I don't know what's going on and this is... We are so thick in this and I just wish that I could come up with something. Well, you're the smart one, so it's your job. Great. Yeah, what else is new? Feel that pressure and take it with you and make something happen. For now...

We need to be on our game for tomorrow. I'm always on my game. I know. I understand. We have to make sure the first thing we do is stop Baphomet. And then after that, we can figure out what's going on with the Eternal Blossom. As long as you are on the same page, it's not good what's going on. I know. You're right. You're right. We're going to fix these people. I just... And until we do, we can't trust them. I agree. But as long as the Eternal Blossom is willing to help us take down Baphomet,

We gotta go with that for now. We gotta take things one step at a time. We can't get ahead of ourselves as much as that stupid strategy game. - Stupid. - I don't know, I don't know. Look, if you wanna stay here because of whatever's going on in your room with the fort, I can go sleep out in the lobby, that's fine. - No. - I don't care. I just need somewhere I can think and rest and I just gotta pour through my notes. I wish I had access to a library here or something. There's gotta be something.

We don't even know when they're going to be. Look, we got to get some rest, all right? You stayed here just to take my bed. No, no, no, no. Iris said I can play in the fort. I just got a little drunk. So you weren't kicked out of your room? I had to leave of my own choosing. Is there anything else I can help you with, Lufty? Well, I don't know. How energetic do you feel? I have to go to sleep, please. I need to concentrate. I swear, if you wake up Toa,

Then what? Go. Get out of here, please. You stayed here long enough. Oh, did I? I'm going to talk to Iris about this. Good night. Good night. And I open the door and I motion her out. And I stare at her. And I'm going to go, good night.

Son of a... You immediately wake up, too. And then I'll slam the door shut. You know what, Felix? Thank you. Go back to sleep. I didn't hear you come in. I know. Just go back to sleep, Toe. It's okay. Just don't... Good night. Good night. And so I'll go back to my room. Snuggle up with my kitty cat. You snuggle up with your kitty cat.

And unless there's anything else, Captain Freewing, or Rilali, does not wake up. And with that... Well, how epic is our fort, though, by the time we see it? Oh, your fort is badass as hell. I'm using the last reservoirs of my magic to really make this the best. I've got Mending. We've got Limitade. You open the door, and you're like...

- And listen, pillows kind of spill out. - Is there like a little tunnel that I have to crawl through to get to the main fort? - Yeah, exactly, there's a tunnel. - Yes. - Have you seen the community episode where they build like a blanket fort? - Yeah, there are these like beautiful beaded curtains. - It's that, yeah. - I love it.

It's, uh, yeah, so you basically need to be crawling through tunnels and all that, and eventually you find Iris crawl up in a ball, and you get a sense that Caprice is down that way. Oh, no, we're all in the same, like, area. Basically stumbled together. I believe Caprice and I are pretty blackout drunk at this point. And you're spooning, exactly right, yeah. I'm gonna, like, wiggle between them. LAUGHTER

You pretty easily sleep in there and slot. Only moments ago I unpolymorphed it from some ridiculous animal, probably like a red panda or something. Or an ocelot. I'm still half laughing in my sleep at the image of Caprice as an ocelot. The wild ocelot monkey. With his little hands, right? With his little hands, yeah.

It's by far the strangest ocelot anyone's ever seen. I love how with such nervousness you ask me, like, one of us is really wrong. It was very me. Okay, that's fine. So ocelots aside, I am absolutely passed out. My drink is finished. So you all settle in and go to sleep.

I got another one of those stayed up for watch. Oh yeah, that big one. It's fine. What's the worst thing we can have when we all wake up dead? Grace! Oh no. As the darkness of sleep takes you, consciousness returns once again to the void. The blackness all around you.

And you're almost used to it at this point. It's almost a cliche at this point. And you see the shadows around you start to take shape. Moves from front of you to your left, to your right. Swirls around until you expect, like the night before, was it two nights ago, feathers. But no. You see the silhouette of an incredibly shapely woman.

White lanterns for eyes, but narrow almost immediately to slits as they observe you and you hear a voice in your mind as this shape spins around you in the darkness of your dream, taunting in its motions. "Oh poor Capriccio, what a turn of events. Are you so sad?

Let's not do this. Let's just skip tonight. We can talk again another night. This is an important night. I need all my rest. What do you say? You know, Capriccio, that's not a bad idea. I thought about it and suddenly the eyes blare. How about we do do this tonight? Slinks back. Remember who owns you, Capriccio? Remember Capriccio?

who owns Maxima and every single member of your family. You see long, slender fingers move about and you see small, wailing souls almost whisk through those fingers until they get clenched in a tight fist. Don't suggest what we should or shouldn't do, Capriccio. You don't have any power here. And you should know that. You should know.

And it swirls behind you, and you feel the presence looming over you. You almost feel just heaving flesh against your back, and hot breath on your neck. That's good. And... How heaving? Very heaving. Extremely. It's my kind of dream. But it's... It fills you with a sense of disgust, despite how sultry it should be.

You're in the endgame now, Capriccio. This is why I own you. It's right in front of you. It's there, unguarded right now. All you have to do is take it. The shape slides back and around in front of you. The eye is never focused on you. Um... I will... sit.

I assume that there's like nothing of floor, but I'm standing. You're standing and you sit and you're just sitting, but it is the void around you. Yet somehow you're seeing the black silhouette. And I'll sit and I'll look up at this insanity image. You're in the end game too. Oh, what do you mean, Capriccia? You need me to do something, right?

I'd like you to. You need to do it for yourself. I understand that, but I want more.

What if I asked to understand what is happening to my friend Herjit, for example? What if I asked, "Tell me about the Eternal Blossom. Is she a friend of yours? Is she an enemy? Do you have any information whatsoever?" And what guarantee do I have that if I do any of the things you asked me to do, my soul's okay? Can I get something in writing at least? Isn't that how this is supposed to work?

I have an idea of how this should work. Suddenly your consciousness shifts. There's no longer a void. There is fire. Hellfire. You hear shrieking, wailing souls crying out for respite that will never come. The voices of yourself, your mother, that you never knew. Your father, but you know it's your mother. Your father. All of your cousins, your aunts, your uncles. You hear them all shrieking, wailing. Capriccio.

If only you had saved us. All you had to do was save us. Why did you forsake us? Why did you condemn us to this?" And then suddenly your consciousness shifts again. It's a bright light, beautiful golden light, blossoms on a summer breeze. The wind, whipping through willows, and you see from behind, Persia, everything that you've seen, the friend, the companion that you've known,

And she turns from her face to long tendrils, her eyes open with narrow slits for pupils, golden eyes. And she smiles with razor sharp teeth. She beckons you to join her. How she's found happiness. She has found obedience, subjugation. And she wants you to join her. She extends her hand. What do you do?

And suddenly, they offer

to join suddenly turns to fear. The eyes turn back to the wide, bright dwarven eyes of Persia that you know, but filled with fear rather than a welcoming hand, it is reaching out in terror, pleading and she shrieks at you. She's coming, she's coming. She suddenly heard it disappears. God swirls around and suddenly fire again.

And it's not a golden fire. It's orange, it's red, it's intense, it's hot. And you hear a single voice, where there were once many, the shrieking of Persia burning in flames, begging, just like your family, "Why did you forsake me, Caprice? Why did you do this? Why? Why, why?" Until it swallowed.

In flame, drowned out by... The laughter gets louder and louder and louder. Your patron, Glossia, as she cackles, filling your entire consciousness until just the feminine shapely silhouette is looming over you, eyes looming down. How about now, Capriccio? You're willing to talk and trade? What do you want?

Do you want to know what I'm about? Do you want to level with each other like eagles? Is that what you want? My questions still stand. I... I don't... I don't know if any of this is any even any real. I... Caprice, hold up your hand. Hold up your hand! Look at the color of your skin, the rust. Feel your head. Now! Feel the horns. Is that real?

Think about your dead mother bleeding out. Was that real? Then this is real. What do you want me to do? Bring me the rod. Bring me the glaive. I don't care. I have plans. You ask about the golden lotus, the eternal blossom. Means to an end. The page that you found. What brought you to me was the roar of the bull.

Who do you think put Baphomet in touch with that poor little imp Moloch? They didn't know it was me. It's all been leading to this Capriccio. And Daddy thinks he can keep his thumb on me for so long when I have ambitions. As you do.

Let's help each other achieve our ambitions. Suddenly you see the shape shift into a long, tall, narrow silhouette with long, spiraling horns and large, white, lantern-like eyes as it suddenly gyrates and bursts and is replaced by that same familiar silhouette. A mountain of skulls surrounded in fire. Do you understand, Capriccio?

What, uh, can I touch it? The glaive? If what happened to Lutfi happens to me, I can't bring you anything. How can I be protected? It's all souls, Capriccio. If I can see long fingers reaching out

in between your eyes, it touches, suddenly you just feel a warmth, a searing pain within you. If you take it, it will bind to you, and therefore, once it binds to your soul, it's mine. I can help you. She snaps. Suddenly, you blink in out of existence. The power that your blood gives you

that I've granted you since you were a little boy. It's stronger than ever. You won't be seen, you won't be heard. You take it, and then you grab your beloved. Steal her if you have to. Kill whoever you have to. You can make it out of the city to safety. Before sunrise, leave your friends to die. You and your betrothed will be safe. I'll make sure that your soul be yours, her soul be hers, and it.

All of your family, the de Sestou line, won't have to fret. I swear to fuck. If I do this, and that doesn't happen, I will spend the rest of my days finding ways to destroy you, to torture you, to...

I'll find out where you sleep. I'll eat an everything bagel in that bed. I'll make paper cuts between your fingers. Every inconvenience I can think of, the smallest thing will rain down upon you. - Fuck.

I'm so scared. But I do finally appreciate the enthusiasm. About time! I know you're not scared. I'm not. You should be. Are you gonna let me go? I'll go take care of business. You can't trust me. I can't trust you. We have to agree on mutually assured...

Failure on my part, destruction on yours. Holy sacred creature. She extends her hand towards you, the silhouette sneaking slowly. Venus, thank you for doing that. I'll see you in hell.

clasps around your fingers. Oh, fuck! As the shadows of the silhouette grab you, pull you forward, and they surround you. You feel a hidden bosom around your head. You feel her embrace, her hot breath, as you are fully engulfed in her essence. And something...

You wake up. You're in a blanket and pillow fort, completely drenched in sweat. You look, you feel like you, the shadow that you had been surrounded in surrounds you now. You feel like you're invisible. You feel like you are able to do anything, completely undetected. You look and you see the ball of iris

Sleeping contentedly, although she would never admit it, with a slight smile, as Lefty is in a tiny bowl on top of her. Lighter than air as the pair sleeps, they do not notice you stir. And even if they were awake, they probably would not notice you stir regardless.

I would like to roll a perception check. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, you do you. You perceive nothing but the sweet sleep of catnip and... Do I enjoy the benefits of long rest? No. Okay. Get fucked. Son of a bitch. Everything bagels hurt. All right. That being said, I will... You feel like you are cloaked in shadows.

I'll sit up and I will as quickly but stealthily as I can make my way to the door, opening it quietly and make myself out into the night air. Time does not appear to be frozen though this time. No. Okay. You make a stealth check at advantage for this entire endeavor and there is a very high modifier. You quadruple that advantage. You roll twice and twice and take the highest of all those. 21.

21, so that's a 36. It's almost like Mantra's levels. Am I right? Almost. As the door opens, and if Lufty and Iris were asleep, they would just think it was the clattering of the wind as you slip out. And...

It closes very gently behind you. That's what I hear. You feel the slight breeze of the glade as you step out into the dimming lantern light. As soon as you step out, a gust blows out the candle on darkness and shrouds you. And even the light of the waning moon is swallowed up by clouds as it passes. All right. Get it together. All right. Where's the glaive?

Do I get a sense through my innate nature that I know where maybe the glaives would be housed at this time? You, uh, uh, Golden Lois had said to the Warchief that she'd be in her sanctum praying over, that it'd be in her sanctum to get the final blessing. All right, uh, we're all fucked anyway. Urgent. Love you. Hope, uh, hope you understand what I'm doing. And, uh, I will start to make my way up the street towards where I think the glaive resides.

You make your way through the streets and you see off in the distance the firelight, the steps and the planes below, the roaring fires of the Iron Horn Legion getting closer and closer. And you know that war is coming. You finally hear unmistakable drums of war. You've heard that before.

You know it's coming. That's not why you're out here. It doesn't matter to you anymore. You make your way and you feel like you're invisible. You walk right past the guards wandering the town, riding atop tigers, and you walk inches from them. You even kind of raise your hand up. They don't even seem to see you as invisible.

Just in case, I'm going to use Alter Self to make myself appear like a normal guard with the tendrils and the whole thing. And you feel as if the innate once-a-day invisibility power that you have as a T-flame, a Glossier T-flame, is already activated, but you are... If...

There was any chance you looked like a guard, completely invisible. It's weird, but I think about terrorizing my cousins when I was very young and how that was an innate ability that I enjoyed that I'm now using in this weird, mature state. And you do, and you slip. And you see as if you see the cat sniffing. Doesn't seem to pick you up at all. Does not even turn his attention towards you as you slip out.

And you make your way out to that winding pathway up to the Golden Lotus' sanctum. You remember getting your first offering there when you first arrived at the city. And you see a warm, inviting glow of that door. It's still lit. It's there. And you make your way up that path. And it's... You're getting higher and higher. 15, 20, 30, 50 feet. And...

You see through the door, that warm glow, and you smell the saffron as it hits you. As you make your way and you turn into the building, the nothing but from your curtain is the door. You pull it aside and you step in, and you see that circular chamber with that basin filled with the gems, trinkets, gold, offering to the gold modus.

offering to the Eternal Blossom a verifiable hoard of strains, trinkets, and gems. And you see sticking out of this hoard bathed in golden light, the sound of the light wind through the chimes, beautiful music, as you see the glaive of the Seven Walls sticking out of it. And you see that there is a glow

about the... the pull of this glaive and just where there's gold, there's that seeming... seeming shimmering silver at the blade that glows with an unnatural, eerie light. I reach into my pocket and I pull out a handful of pistachios. You do that?

I'm going to toss one to see if there's any sort of magical protection or something to stop it before it hits the near the top of the mound right around where the clay would be. Make a stealth figure disadvantage. What in the hell? I hear a pistachio. I modified 18 on stealth at that disadvantage plus whatever. Yep. Yep. Okay.

You do that. You throw the pistachio. I'm shelled. Or shelled. You know, DM's choice. I would say it is shelled. And you throw it. You're throwing it at the life? I'm trying to get a sense if there's some sort of magical barrier or protection energy. My roll was real quick. I'll turn on something. Lord. And I'll decide it. As it... You throw pistachio. And it hits...

the silver of the blade and what's that a as if it's a wind chime and the resonance fills the room as all of the chimes fill the room with a musical clamor almost as it hits and clatters to the ground drowned out with the musical sound of is it so loud that I feel like I need to take action it is ringing out

No magical barrier erupts, or no magical traps trigger if that's what you're looking for. I will...

You can do this, Caprice. You're just the best. Look how awesome you are. You're not a devil. You're not insane. I will fly. I will attempt to lift off the ground, casting fly on myself. And I will not touch the horde, but I will try to grab the glaive as I enter the room and try to turn around and start to dart out the door. That's my plan. That's your plan. See what happens. Oh, boy. So, Ez?

As you pull out your violin, you know that you need to string that cord, and you know that it will be drowned out with your bow, granted to you by High General Zurn. As you play, you feel the levitation. And then as the music fills the air, that curtain on the other side of the room pulls back. And you see it to Baxley step out, looking around.

As Golden Lotus steps from her personal chambers into the room as she sees the wind chimes... If it's not too late, I'll not grab the glaive. I will...

parachute almost up, swaying my legs out and up and just try to get as close to the ceiling invisibly as possible. You literally freaking hereditary up in the ceiling of this chamber. As Golden Lotus steps out, her white fur with black stripes almost framing her face in a private, almost kind of ghastly way.

light as it looks striking. And she seems to be calm, but there seems to be a level of suspicion that you haven't seen on her face before. Now that she's in private, she looks around listening to the resonance from the pistachio thrown at this glaive. She looks around and she sees the wind chimes playing and she reaches up her paw and pauses for

each one, the percussion stopping. And she surveys the room with her brilliant cat-like golden eyes as they scan the room. And she looks around. She looks down at the ground. I'm running zone minutes right now, by the way. What? I'm running zone minutes. My heart rate is triggering my Fitbit right now. And she looks down at the ground and you see her stop.

She reaches down, pull the pistachio, two claws. Oh no. She chucks the shells away. She looks around. She looks up the ceiling almost directly at you, but makes no indication that she sees it. And she reaches out.

and grabs the glaive. Oh no! And she turns around and pulls back the curtain and steps forward with the glaive in her hands and does not pull the curtain back on the other side. The room is dark. What do you do? I

In it for a copper. I will float down, knowing that I have probably another 58 minutes of fly left, and continue to follow Miss Lotus, or Mrs. Lotus, you never know. And I will attempt to continue to follow her and see where she takes the glaive. But I'm not going to touch any surfaces. You do that. I'm just cannonballing through it all the way. And you...

managed to squeak into that personal chamber. The smell of saffron is incredibly intense as you follow behind her, and before you had done that, she had taken the glaive and she had kind of reached down and seen this pile of gold and gems and offerings. She kind of looked at them and kind of darted a claw through the trinkets.

and she kind of pulled out a pawful and let it run through her fingers, place it back down. Enticingly, she leaps through the curtain and you manage to make your way into the private chambers as she turns around, you manage to get behind her very quickly as she pulls the curtain. And you see the very simple quarters of golden lotus you had seen before you went on your journey to Limbaugh.

Incense is burning, the smell of saffron. You see a small bowl of offerings, a similar of trinkets, coins, magical items, gems. And she once again plays with that, and she goes to a corner of the room. She opens what looks to be a very ornate golden jade chest. She opens it, and there seems to be a very long and wide chamber in here, completely empty.

and she places it very gently in this almost velvet enclosure. Damn. And it rests perfectly. And she closes up. She pulls out a key from a robes, locks it, puts it back in, and then she...

moves her paws. Her claws extend. There's something strange about these claws, as they glow with a golden light. Suddenly, the chest is engulfed in magical energy. And she stops. And she sighs contentedly. And she turns.

and leaves this small chamber and pulls the curtain back. And you see the glint of moonlight onto the other side of what you know is that personal blade of the Eternal Blossom as she leaves to the night sky, to the night air. I am going to magical energy, you said. She was not closing behind her, similarly. Okay.

When I think that another minute has passed and I think that she's maybe made her way, I'll slow my breathing a little bit and I'm going to try another pistachio test onto the surface of this now glowing containment. - Yeah, you do that. And so you make your way and you throw the pistachio and it rolls off. - All right, I'll pick it up and put it back in my pocket.

I'm going to attempt to open it just through what little strength Caprice would have, just to see if it's unlocked. You attempt to grab it, you pull it, and it's very clearly locked tight.

And suddenly, as you're attempting to pull it up, you see a flash of golden light as it almost floods the chamber. As from the door on the other side, it fills the room, bursting, radiating in golden light despite the hour of the evening. As blasting and radiating, what do you do? Um...

I still feel like I'm invisibly protected and stilled. You look down and you feel like you're invisible. And I'm flying. When I see that golden light occur, I think to...

Very quickly, I'm going to pull out my viol, which I've had with me, and try to strike the same note as the bells that I was hearing earlier in the antechamber where we were just then. I'm going to try to mimic that as I cast Major Image. And with Major Image, I'm going to replace the image of the containment with an open and empty chest, as if the glaive has already been taken. Clever. Interesting play.

Bold move, Cotton. Interesting. Nope, it's not. So you hear the loud sounds of the cheek, and you see the golden light floods the room and suddenly dies back down on the other side of this chamber, but you're looking at it. You manage to very stealthily strike a chord, and you manage to create a major illusion, and it looks open.

And then you hear a gust of wind as golden blossoms blast into the room. And you hear as it gets quieter and quieter and quieter as there's no golden light. There's nothing. There's no sound. And quiet returns. Your major image holds.

Fuck. My sentiments, exactly. I have no way of getting into this chest. Classia? Little help? Last hurdle right here and then I got my hand on it. You say to the night air. So she locked it with a key, right? Yep.

And she casts some sort of spell on him. That's burned, that's burned, that's burned. If only you knew knock. It's a great spell. In very few circumstances. It's super narrow. It's like Felix Never Took It. It's flavorful. It's very narrow. Oh man, how am I going to get in here?

- Fuck. Thank you for your patience, Pardee. - No, it's all good. I'm enjoying the ride. - I'm gonna start to-- - I'm glad you would not be. - In desperation, I'm gonna start to see if there's some sort of a key in the room, looking under rugs and just spinning my wheels, thinking about how I might solve this puzzle. - Quiet still returns to this room. Breeze settles out. You see the golden blossoms from the glade just past the door.

settle onto the carpet, and you tear the place up. To any observer, there would be pillows flying, drawers opening. You're searching for anything. The only key that was in this room was on the person of golden lotus. Do I have a sense that she's close, or that she would have gone far from this room? All you have is that light and the sound that you heard.

You know, just on the other side is where you had originally went to Limbo from Izaki, the trees with the golden blossoms and the lake with the view up to the peaks of mountains. Further north.

I will attempt a minute or two of contemplation, knowing that my time is on a fly and potentially my invisibility could run out soon. And before I take a drastic measure, I'm going to walk into that room and see if I can look into the pool or into the portal or see what I can see. You step in. You pull the curtain back and you step into that glade and once again it's bathed in that shimmering moonlight.

And you look around, and Golden Lotus is nowhere to be seen. Make a perception check for me. 12. You look into the night sky. You look to the water. You look to this small little enclave. You are wholly alone. I will go back to the room with the containment, the chest. And...

I'm going to try to break into this thing. Okay. Assuming that it's magical and that it won't work, but being that I'm out of options, I feel I will pull out my viol and holding it in more of a battle-like position, standing directly in front of it,

What is behind it? Is there like a window and a cliff or is there... are we in a... So you're in like a small chamber in like this small dwelling, right? It's like a circular room. And it's just like a wall that's made of like a stone and wood. Thank goodness. Do I think that I could blow the chest through the wall with something like a thunder wave, as loud as that might be?

You know that there was some sort of magical sheen that went over it. You have no idea what protective charms were placed on it by going on this. I know that the spell is cast. I can't counterspell it. I think I might be completely fucked. I have no tools to solve this problem. You don't have to spell magic.

Yeah, I didn't want to be the pigeon. I was going to ask you if you had thieves' tools. Once a day. I've already used it. Thieves' tools. I do not have thieves' tools. I thought you did.

I was, uh, I would have guessed you didn't know. No, I'm not. I mean, I'm open to suggestions, y'all, at this point. I have a suggestion that has nothing to do with this. I suggest that you and Hersha name your first child Pistachio DeSesto. That's how she rolls off the tongue. Yeah, um, it's somewhere in the back of my head. I'm sure that Caprice hears that. So without metagaming it, I don't hate the thunder wave option. No, I don't like it either.

But you can only just spell magic once a day? Yeah, it's part of my bow. Otherwise I've got fucking unlimited first level spell slots right now. No worries, no worries. I believe in you. I have a second level spell shot. No, that's way too loud. And I've tried physically opening this. No, it's very much a...

protective magical barrier on this thing. And she looked around very protectively as if she felt uneasy. All I need to do is get my hands on the glaive is what Glacia said. She seemed to...

How big is the keyhole? Small. Like a, you know... If I were to polymorph myself into an insect of some kind... Talk about thinking outside the box, my friend. Holy shit! Uh, you know, I think you could certainly try. Well, you know... If you really ate your outer options here, Derek, I like it! I'm trying! I love where your fucking head's at, brother! Um...

I'm not feeling very like a noble insect right now. I'm gonna turn into an earworm and just slink and disgustingly make my way up into, if I can, the keyhole and see if the magical barrier prevents me from getting farther in than a key might stop me. You do that. As you polymorph yourself into an earworm and you kind of slink your way

and you make your way into the keyhole as you manage to get through that initial instance of the keyhole and you get to the point of where you would be able to get through to the other side. You see the mechanism, you see there's a little tiny gap that you could potentially squeeze your way through as you manage

squeeze through and you need a constitution saving throw for me. Come on, brother. We might be twisting this one. Why are you helping me? Um, we might not. Because I want absolute chaos. We might not. Twenty three. Let's fucking go. Twenty three. He turned into a worm to try to get through the keyhole.

- I love that. - In true Caprice fashion, he's out of options, I love that shit. - I love that. - As you manage to make your way through and you feel a zap try to sear your wormy flesh and you manage to resist, but you are repelled by a barrier that seems to be fucking taking no damage.

I mean, if I did, then I would no longer be an earworm and Caprice would shoot out the keyhole like a ketchup laser beam. It's like one of those hydraulic press videos on YouTube. That's the name of the band in Feywild. Yeah, that's a z-o-o-o-ld throwback. Okay. In a good way.

Damn, dude, that was a good option. Hey, bro, are you doing this all the time? Yeah, you weird. I'm totally fucked. If only you brought your old friend Felix around. I mean, yeah, you would have helped me. Absolutely. Just watch the sunrise, Caprice. Just watch the sunrise. Oh, my God. Oh.

Ah, shit. Okay, can't polymorph into it. I squirm out and I un-earworm myself. I've got to find Golden Lotus. I will leave and I will see if there's an additional bedroom chamber or where she may have been. I can't imagine that it would be far. You look around and you see her bed. It's right next to the chest that she put it in.

And she is nowhere to be seen. Why isn't she blessing this stuff? Where is she? You step out into the glade once again. You look around. Just the breeze through the willow. Sending golden blossoms onto the water. If this is some sort of riddle, I'm fucked, buddy. Um... I have a...

I have an idea, but I'm not gonna. It'd be metagaming. Yeah, no, let's just let it ride. Come on, give him his moment. There's no answer to any of this bullshit. It's not a riddle. No, I know, but it's like, or a puzzle, or some like, oh, I just, I can't lift the chest, can I? I mean, it's embedded into this chamber. Oh, I know. I think I know. Oh, I know. I think I know.

It's not a puzzle or anything. I think I just figured out the story, the plot element. Yeah. I won't say anything. That's devastating. I'm probably wrong, but I think I know. Okay. But I always think I know things that I don't. How about how much time do I have left in my state, do you think? Do I, do I suspect? Sorry. It's probably about like 20 minutes. Took a while to get here. You don't think so? Give me an idea. Yes.

I didn't hear you. I didn't either. I didn't either, actually. Let's just let it ride. Is that what you're thinking? Give him time. Give him time. Give him time. I want to see what happens here. Derek, don't worry. I have no idea what's happening either. You can either take solace in that or let that give you further dread. I never know what's going on. I think primarily dread. I am going to feel a wave of defeat wash over me.

You feel that. Down at the chest. I'm thinking, I just made an agreement and I can't hold up my side of the bargain. I think of Herja and my feelings for her as I get a beer in my heart. And I think of my family. I think of all the souls that I would have seen curling around the fingers of Glacia.

I think of my father back in Galtica and all the friends and wonderful places that I know there and I feel it all slipping away. In this moment, I will pull out of my pocket where it always is my lucky tuning fork that my father gave me. Does it look like it would fit in the keyhole?

You get the sense of a tuning fork probably is big enough. They could probably... Oh, geez, dearie. I'm going to...

Push it in and try and jiggle the lock. Yeah, you do. You can bump it, you can rake. It's my special jiggle bump. I'm not particularly enthusiastic about it, but I am flailing. You know when an animal is being killed and it stops, it's like alive, but it's being eaten? That's where I am emotionally. Oh!

- Roll an arcana check, it does advantage. - I'm indigested and I'm okay with it. - That was fucking dark. - An arcana check? - Yep. - Five. - Okay. - Yikes. - Yikes. - It's gonna be a big oof for me. - You take your tuning fork and you very carefully place it in and you jiggle it around

And suddenly you feel a presence behind you and hot breath on your neck and you hear your tuning fork let out a horrible resonant wail. And suddenly you hear a loud shattering noise. It's like the worst, awful down to note of your life. And suddenly any of the golden glow around this chest shatters in your face.

Your tuning fork breaks. Shatters. And then you hear... And you feel one more hot breath on the back of your neck. It is done. Suddenly quiet returns and you see... Quarter of an inch. This chest has been propped open. Hold, bard. Don't make a sound.

If you say a word, you'll be forsaken. I'll pick up the glaive. You pick up the glaive and he makes a constant saving throw. At double disadvantage. Quadruple disadvantage. You get a natural one. You die. 20. 20. You grab it.

And you feel the worst searing pain of your entire life as you grab the hilt of this blade. And it attempts to blast in this golden light, but it's swallowed up by your hands. And your hands ignite into this hellish fire. And the feeling that you feel is every bit of good and pain

and hopefulness that you had attempted to live your life by is swallowed by the devilish fiendish hate of your patron, Glazia, as you feel like you're swallowing all of the attempted defenses of this weapon. And suddenly the silver blade of this thing sheens.

And you hear very faintly, almost like the hoot of an owl, as it resonates through your mind. And you feel any soul that you would have had being sucked into this weapon. Oh, shit. And you're holding it very briefly. And you're not sure what's happened to you. Then you hear something. Wind gusts.

- Yeah. - Through the blast through the chamber. It blows through and suddenly you hear, you see a flash of gold as you were almost blinded. - Mm-hmm. - What do you do? - It's coming through the-- - On the other side of the, into the glade. - On the other side of the glade? - On the door outside.

I will walk up to it. What is the portal doing? I will immediately start to approach. I'm still holding it as tight as I can onto this glaive. You grip it tightly, and the doorway, as you approach, gleams in golden light, and it starts to shrink.

and you just see a loose silhouette and you make a wisdom saving throw disadvantage, please. What the hell? Wisdom saving throw disadvantage? Give me a nine. You... As the sound dissipates, the winds blast your hair back. You're trying to see through the curtain as you see a dark shape...

Emerge into a somewhat humanoid figure silhouette and suddenly your consciousness fades you Wake up. You enjoy the benefits of the long rest all of you do as Iris and Lofty you wake up and you see Caprice sleeping soundly beside you Caprice you awake. There's no glaive in your hand but you feel like some of you is missing or gone and

I reach and see if my fork is in my pocket. It's not.

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a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. You awaken. Your lucky... Your lucky tuning fork has been shattered. It's gone, at the very least. You feel like there's something part of you is missing. But did you ever have it at all? That's the interesting question. You're not really sure. The missing tuning fork confirms to me that what happened last night in my dream was real. It was very real.

And so how you ended up, you were blinded by golden light, you passed out and ended up cozy in your fucking blanket fort. Or pillow fort, which is depending on which side of that. It was totally a blanket fort. I mean, we used everything in that room. Everything. It was an everything fort. What do you do? Oh. You wake. Oh, okay. Doom, doom, doom. Shit. Doom, doom, doom.

What is that? I'm gonna keep doing this. Do you hear that, Felix? I'm trying to drink my tea. Damn it. This feels very familiar. Somebody get the door. Today's the day. Get up, everyone. And I'll go out to the common room.

I'm gonna follow you out and then try to refresh my tea in the common area. Sort of uncharacteristically, I'm up with everyone. I'm not late to being up. You're very surprised to see Caprice join you for an early morning tea, coffee, snacks, and actually the spread that you've received this morning from

You've had a steward for yourself here as revered guests of the Golden Lotus, and there is a spread that's far more bountiful than normal. And Caprice, make a perception check for me. It's a 23. It would be a 24 if I had my tuning fork. Oh, okay.

You pat down, and you look for your-- you're looking for your tuning fork. Like, where did I put it? And you... reach, and you find something that's in the pocket of your jacket. It's not where you normally kept your tuning fork, but it feels different. And you pull it out, and it's a scale. Single golden scale. And it seems to have the exact same properties.

as you're tuning for. What the fuck? Like a scale that I would use to measure coin weights on either side? No, like a scale from some sort of reptilian creature. Oh! Not a measuring scale, but a reptilian scale. So what kind of seal is it?

- A harbor seal. - Oh, okay. - Not an elephant seal? - No, elephant seals are not. - Doogong, doogong. - I love doogongs. - I love doogongs. - They're so cute. Oh, it kills me. You can't say doogongs in my presence. I love them.

I'll hastily put it back. So with that, then I'll have a 24, I guess. Just same stats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the sentimentality of your grandfather's tuning fork has been destroyed from your person forever. Okay. As a reminder for your family's decisions. I pray to...

all of the gods and none of them to myself perhaps that I did right by the souls of my family and to see if I can find a path out of this for myself and Herja. You sit for a moment and pray, quiet as Iris and Lufty leave and no one answers. I'll find myself some coffee and join the rest of the gang. You do that. We should try to find where this seal is as quickly as possible.

In case they don't wait until darkness to attack. Well, it doesn't sound like they're waiting. That's what I mean. They're making quite a racket. They're very close, and I don't like the idea of waiting until nighttime, just waiting for them to attack. I think we just try to find the Warchief. If anybody has the intel, I'm sure that he does, or he can point us in the right direction. Do you think he will? No.

I don't see why not. They know that we're supposed to be here. They keep talking about some grand purpose. And he knows that we know about the seal. We can spin it with some sort of fate baloney if you want. Well, let's see what he says. It's better than nothing. We all ready? Anything we need to do? I think I'm good. Mr. Freewing. You've always nowhere to be seen. Where's Mr. Freewing?

Last I saw him, we were playing our game last night and Wolfie said he fell asleep on the board, which maybe you want to enlighten the gang. Oh, yeah. So Mr. Freewing has a growth, has two growths now. In the genital chin area. In the genital chin area, yes. General. Oh, yes, that's what I said.

General. General. General. That's not an extremely good German accent, that's for real. I just want to make sure we're all saying "general". Yeah. Genital. That's what I said. Genital. I mean, 75% of all sexually active adults have it. It's not a... It's nothing to be ashamed about.

Anyone who worships the eternal possum turns into a catfish. That's great. I think that that's, I mean, at least we're seeing a trend. People who believe this faith, they undergo changes. I don't think that that's unheard of. It's sort of like, you know, with my people, we...

use these tattoos to tell our stories and sort of praise our ancestors. Is it that different? And as you take a moment to look at Toa's tattoos, they have a faint glow to them. And you recall that the faith that he has in his spirits

empowered his body beyond what had been done in the physical. They had created additional tattoos that had glowed with more fur than before, and additional... You look at yourself, small representations of yourself in small artistic form, achieving the great feats that you've done on Toa's body. Is it all that different, you wonder?

I suppose you're making a good point, and maybe we're being a little hasty. This is what I was trying to tell Wolfie last night, is that I don't necessarily think that these individuals' behaviors being completely altered is good, but I think that maybe right now, if the eternal blossom...

is gonna help us defeat Baphomet, that's the first thing that we have to do. I don't necessarily... Maybe the Eternal Blossom isn't doing something malicious. I don't necessarily agree with the methods of making these individuals no longer people that we recognize, but for now, it's the only ally that we have in defeating what we know needs to be defeated. We can take each thing one step at a time, we don't have to deal with everything at once. I think you're right, I think you're right, but...

My point is that just because Freewing and Hoosier are going down a path doesn't mean that it's necessarily bad. That's what I'm trying to say. I understand. I think it is. But. I don't know, I mean it seems like both of them went to the infirmary and now they had this thrust upon them. We don't know that either of them chose what they are going towards. That's a fair point.

And I don't know much more to comment on it. Right, Felix? I shouldn't necessarily comment on it if I don't have the knowledge of... It's like something you would say. It's fine, Toa. It's fine. Is everyone ready? Are we all ready? Caprice, are you okay? Are we ready to go? Are we ready for what? We have to move on here. There's no point in discussing this any further. Please, Lofty, just let Toa... Caprice looks visibly shook.

Hey, hey, are you all right? Caprice, did you not have a good time in the fort last night? I had a great time in the fort. Did the foot rub that you gave me make things weird? No, you know I'm very dexterous. I was happy to do it. Are you hungover? I know now that you're very dexterous. No, I feel all right. I don't know what we're going to do with our day. We just have to wait till evening until this...

army, I guess. We need you on- We can't wait. We have to get the seal. We need you on top of things. Are you going to be okay today?

Yeah. Let me have another cup of coffee and... Sure. How many hours do we think we have until all this is about to go down? Probably a good 10 to 12 hours. It's a long time until sunset. Assuming Kargash is correct. Assuming Kargash is correct. He's only... You gotta remember, he's been piecing together Abyssal, which he hasn't learned, like you have, and Orcish. And so he's trying to piece together the remnants of Orcish from the turned...

Does that sound okay?

- You be ready. - Sounds like a plan. - Give me like 10 minutes. - You look a little shitty. - I'm actively making another cup of tea, seeing him like make coffee. - Why don't you sing yourself a little tune or something? That's what you do. - Um. - This is the morning song, it isn't very long, hey? - Yeah, see, there you go. I'm good as rain. Right as rain, right as good weather. - Look, I'm great and I know that stuff. So come on.

I didn't have the most restful sleep. Fort time was fun, but I'm here and I think that once the adrenaline kicks in and we're doing our thing, everything will be rocking and rolling, all right? Some people just not cut out the fort. I do blame myself. I did not warn him that I'd like to extend my claws. He wasn't ready. I sleep and I thrash about, lift him up, just while she floats. I can only do that for an hour. Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell us, Caprice?

I told you before that you could tell us anything. I believe you, yes. I know that's true. I... I... Yeah, let's go. We got a full day. We shouldn't be sitting here drinking coffee. I'm sorry to have slowed us down. Let's move. He's right. Where do we go first? We go to the chief, and we try to station ourselves at wherever the seal is. We know it's somewhere around here or near here. We need to go there if that's what their target is. Then let's find the chief.

Agreed. Do we know where he would be? I will, yeah. You enjoy your breakfast and you feel as rejuvenated as you can be and your personal steward arrives and they guide you to through the city and you hear that and you make your way out from around your tranquil quarters

And you see out ahead, you're used to seeing the horizon, but it's far closer. Just outside the wall, you see, from horizon to horizon, is an undulating mass of black-furred minotaurs, goatmen, beastmen, turned orcs, demons. And you see flicks of large masses moving. And you hope...

You pray to any god that you worship. You pray to the Raven Queen. You pray to your spirits. You pray to Anubis. You pray to Lop'Huard. Caprice, you pray to anyone who will listen that they are just hill giants that haven't given the gift. You worry that's not the case. They growl in the distance. As you make your way through the city and you see that the regiments

battalions of troops marching, fully armored. You see the hundreds of tigers and yetis, the beastmasters that control them now a little bit more trepidatious about the hold they have over these creatures after last night as they make their way to the walls of the city. The first line of defense, but not the first line. The first line was the

The early defenses in Dugran, not the second line. The second line was the wall to the inner kingdom. And now they've smashed through that. This is the walls of the city. Hundreds, thousands of refugees are sheltering in this city. Displaced, lucky survivors of whatever horrible devastation the Horned Legion has unleashed and the beast plague that has allowed it.

Yet still you see refugees that may have lost everything, just like Kargash. And as you pass them, they seem at peace. They seem content, comfortable with what's happening. They seem certain of their future. Because whether or not they survive, it's all on the plan. Caprice, you instinctively reach in your coat pocket. You feel it again, pull it out. Make sure no one's watching. You feel like you need to keep it safe. Secret.

And you do. And now that hers is not with you, despite this being your new family, you still feel alone. You are alone. You feel a hot bit of wind on the back of your neck. You turn around. No one's there. But you still feel presence. Something pulling at your back as your friends drive you forward. I'm sort of tailing behind them. If I can pull out some parchment, I'm scribbling down notation.

for music, notes, just things that are occurring to me in this moment as I'm trying to distract myself perhaps from those thoughts. You do that. And your eyes glance, cast themselves over to the infirmary where you know where Herja, perhaps her father as well, are currently stationed. You have no idea how they'll be, how they'll handle it. You know that Herja's not well enough to help you in the coming battle, and that where there were six, there are now five, and you've dealt with far weaker threats than what you deal with now.

Doubt starts to creep into all of your minds. Least of all Iris, who has resolute confidence in her god, but still. There's something that eats away at all of you, is that objectively this feels like the odds have been most stacked against you at this point, despite all the horrors you faced, as you see the massive, undulating mass of forces at the gates.

and the constant drumming that booms and booms and booms and booms. You eventually find yourself amidst the royal guard out front of the citadel of Mogra Kai. You see the Warchief adorning his full armor, almost crackling lightning in his helm, but it's just, it's not actually lightning.

Just the energy of this orc that has lived far longer than any mortal should. Energy that you all wish you could have at an age like that. As he stands there, inspiring legions that all look to him. And beside him, you see Golden Lotus holding the glaive that you had gripped so tightly, Caprice. She watches all of you approach.

The five of you don't notice that her eyes aren't on you. They're in your direction, but they're on Caprice. A look of understanding. A look of acceptance. A look of pity. It's the kind of look that you've... never would expect anyone to give. Despite all that you've been through. Despite all that you've done. And it makes you feel sadness. You almost want to weep. In the beauty of it all.

You almost want to break down in that moment, as despite the understanding that these feline eyes, or are they really, look at you, the understanding of everything you've been through, yet still acceptance into the beautiful golden light of the Eternal Blossom. You arrive, and you hear the booming voice of Warchief Sengoro Frostfang.

Foretold ones, you arrive at Judgment Day, the day of my destiny and yours. Are you ready? Yes, I am. As ready as I'm going to be. I'll pull out my viol and... You tune it? Start to tune it, keeping my eyes...

Half and half split between him and Golden Lotus. You do that. And as you tune it, you look back and forth. You feel pulled out of the moment. You feel a presence behind you and you feel a warm breath. And as you tune, you hold a fret and you hear a voice in your mind. Don't fret! And you're drawn back to reality.

I will do my very best to maintain my composure if nothing has happened. Make a performance check. That's where he's a viking. 18. You do that. No one notices. You're too focused. But Golden Lotus keeps her eyes on you as the Warchief looks at all of you. And you see Felix especially. Something you hadn't expected to see. You walked...

into a land of a people that yours had brutally slaughtered for decades, generations. And despite being a human of Korvacchia, the war chief of this nation that you, your people have been at war, you've heard every single worst propaganda story against. The savagery of the Orcish hordes. The savage foreign goddess that they worship. Not of Striga. You see someone who

respects you, sees you as a potential savior of his people, and gives you the level of respect that Toa gave him, that no one else gave him. But he returns Toa's respect to you and everyone else. As Golden Lotus turns, her eyes lingering on you for a bit, Caprice, and then turning to Warchief Frostfang, and she kneels and extends the Glaive of the Seven Laws out to him.

He looks down at it, and all of you, his royal guard, and all the soldiers that observe, and he says, This is the day of reckoning, the day of our destiny, the day we save our people, the day we live, not for ourselves, but for the eternal blossom. And he reaches out and grabs the blade.

The glaive. As soon as his hands grab it, you see him wince in pain. As he struggles, his teeth grit, his face shrinks back and almost ages a hundred years and then returns back to its current state. His deep blue skin undulating back and forth and you see him almost gasp as a wispy silver

emerges from his mouth and slinks to the silver of the blade of the glaive. - This is not good. - I'll say it louder, this is not good. - As he grips it, the pull, the pull of it, shimmering gold. - I have trained my whole life for this! - And he grabs it and he feels

You can see that he feels the power that he holds. Holy shit. And he raises it in the air. And every single orc, hundreds, perhaps thousands, let out a cheer, a booming, boisterous cheer that drowns out the war drums of the beast men at the gates. And it almost fills you all with hope. It almost fills you with the sense that there is a chance.

But you hear a laughter in the back of your mind, Caprice, about the futility of all of it, and you feel nothing but hopelessness. You feel nothing at all. In fact, you feel nothing but disdain. You look around, you see the Warchief, he's a fool. You see the orcs, they're pathetic fodder to the aims of the Nine Hells, of what you've given yourself to.

But what you finally embraced, you look to Lufty, to Felix, to Iris, to Toa, and in that moment, you wish you didn't feel this. You try to push it back, but for whatever reason, you feel like your thoughts are not your own. You cannot control it. You wish you could, but you can't. You would throw every single one of them into the fire to save yourself and Herja from what's to come. I can't wait to protect Proprietor from the battlefield.

Sarah getting dark folks. But the rest of you, you see the look of Sengoro Frostfang. You see his face and he may be old. He may be ancient by orcish standards. And you've seen a 60 plus year old human male go out to the battlefield and defeat the incarnation of an archdevil in Virgil's Urn.

And now you finally realize why this clan, the Dancing Blade, was able to stand up against Xearn and Korovakia for decades. Because of the spirit of the power that they've gotten. And the booming cheers, the confidence, the certainty that they've received from the Golden Lotus, from the Eternal Blossom, gives them a level of certainty that you wish you could have in anything that you do.

I'm gonna... Surveying all this and taking it in, I'm gonna take my hat off and look to Toa and say, uh... I know you'd never guess it, but I've seen days like this more than I'd like to admit, and... These days of war... Are all just kind of the same. You don't really ever get used to them. Well, we've killed a big fiendish bull guy before. This isn't gonna be that different, right? Yeah, well...

It only won't be different if we don't come back. And we're one down, so... Hopefully our chieftain here can fill the gaps. Orcs! Friends! Allies! All those that would resist the Horned King and the death on his coattails, join me in raging against the night, raging against the death,

raging against the infinite abyss! We've given ourselves to tranquility, to peace, to harmony. Let us show this savage beast what civilization brings." And his voice almost drops, but as it does, it's filled with so much power. As almost thunder cracks, he raises the glaive of the seven walls.

and every single orc in unison roars and cheers. And you feel for a moment like you are one of them. You're all the same. You're no different than the hawks that desperately tried to escape, that throne room, the tigers that fled through and got cut down, the yeti that got beheaded. In this moment, orc, human, tiefling to back siege, a nasi, goliath,

You're mortals fighting for survival against the forces of the Abyss and the devastation and entropy that a lord of beasts would attempt to bring upon the world of the living. The drums sound, but they're not the savage, taut, humanoid-skinned, savage, vile drums of the Beastmen of the Horned Legion. They are the regimented, resounding drums

of Mograkai, of the Dancing Blade, and immediately the legions of orcs, tendrils or otherwise, snap to attention and begin to mobilize as if they're dancing themselves. And they march to the walls as the sun begins to shrink, smaller and smaller and then larger and larger as it gets closer to the horizon and sits, large glowing fiery disc,

You know that the battle's coming. Is there anything else you'd like to do before it comes? How long do we have? It is twilight. And you know from if Kargash is right and wasn't in the madness of Baphomet that they will be attacking soon. But...

As long as you probably need, Nikki, because I would gladly grant you that, because I'm fast-forwarding quite a bit. Well, no, I just wanted to cast something, but it has a duration of eight hours, so I don't want to cast it too long. You would have plenty. It will last as long as you need if you cast it now. I'm going to look at my friends, and I am going to channel the power of Anubis within me and shine with a golden radiance, and I'm going to cast aid at a fifth level on Toa.

Felix. Lufty. I don't even know what that means. You have 20 temporary hit points. Oh, hot dang. Not temporary hit points. Your maximum HP is raised by 20 for 8 hours. What do you say? Lord of the Sands and the Setting Sun, watch over my friends this night. Lead us forth in death and in life. Anubis be praised. You're gone.

as it resonates. You've been hearing the resonant sound of chimes of music in your head, but this is familiar. This is not strained. This is... You feel a presence behind you. Everyone except for Caprice. Yes. Caprice, you still feel a presence. And me. Though I don't feel a presence. You do. You feel a presence. A hot breath on your neck. The breathing in your ear. You feel the heat.

as they get stronger and stronger. But the rest of you, you feel warmth, but the warmth of hot sand. You felt your wounds being closed by this power numerous times. You feel the certainty, the judgment, the justice, the Lord beneath the mountain. And you know in your heart that if you fall this day, that at the very least, you've given it your all and you hope

And your heart, on that scale, the weighted scale, measures up against the feather that falls. And you all feel his blessing. His nubus watches over you. And whatever effects that happen, that happens. Yes, so you just raise your maximum hit points by 20, those that are affected. Bingo bango. And it's that way for eight hours. Let's go.

I would like to... If we have a little bit of time there... You do, you see the sun as it does, as it shrinks and then gets larger, as it gets closer to the horizon, the illusion as it does, as you hear the war drums of the dancing blade.

I would like to reach into my pack, kneel down, and having sort of freed the wind spirits that I lost connection to, I'd like to take out my carved figurines of the shark, the moa, the turtle, and the boar, and place them, and try to kind of figure out north, south, east, and west.

I can feel the sun setting in the west. And I use that as my guide and I'll kneel down and I'll sort of pray to myself and say, "I haven't felt your presence in a long time, but now that you're free, I hope you'll give me a renewed strength. I feel doubt for the first time and I need you to find my doing the right thing here.

I believe that I've protected my home in the Carnie Islands, but is me being here in this moment, in this place, is this the right thing? I just don't know. Am I supposed to fight? I want to. I want to help my friends. I want to help these people. I hope it's the right thing. And I would like to cast Augury as I consult the spirits.

Wheel or what? So, Augury is... Just level, I think.

- Basically, to my question, the DM chooses the following possible omens, weal, woe, weal and woe or nothing, for results that aren't especially good or bad. - You act like Mikey doesn't know what this does. - I'm just playing it out for our audience. - It's good for me, for everyone. - Mike probably forgot. - Mike doesn't know how to play D&D. - Yeah, right. - You focus, and as all of the orcs chant, losing their focus on all of you,

You get down into your trance, and you think about the spirits you spent so long and risked your life and the life of all your friends to save, and you feel the wind whip out up all around you from the north, the south, the east, the west. You feel the gaze of the moa, the boar, the turtle, and the shark, the spirits that look over your island, and the tattoos that you've earned.

and all you feel is weal. - Oh, baby. - All you feel is that you have been at peace. - Let's fucking go. - That you have been the calm and steady current for your friends on this sea, no matter the storm that has come. But now is the time to fight. Now is the time to channel the storm, to wield it in your hands.

wield the sea, the power of the sea, the power of the wind, the power of your islands, the power of family. - Oh, sorry, sorry. - And to use it to protect the people that you love, not just the people back home, not your family that you have, that you had, but the family that you've gained. And you feel the blessings of all four of the wind spirits and your tattoos glow. And all of you see Toa's tails on his arms, his body.

You see bits of yourself, and he is empowered by the wind spirits. I will put my figurines away, and I'll rise, and I'll say, You're going to win today. I am where I'm supposed to be. And I will wait with my friends. All right, I like your confidence. Is that a boy? I'm gonna do this, Felix. Okay. All right, I feel good. Thank you. I don't know what you did there, but that was pretty impressive. And then...

The sun sinks behind the horizon. You see the flame. You see fire. But that's not the worst of it. As night falls, it's what you hear. And you hear horrific, guttural roar. And you've heard the roar of a bull and every beast known to man and every other mortal race. And it sounds nothing like that.

Caprice, you think back to the heist that took your cousin, what you sacrificed so much for, the page of that ancient tome that brought you on this path, that it would start with the roar of the bull. And that is what you hear as the entire mountain resonates with the bestial guttural roar of Baphomet. And suddenly, thunder. But there's no lightning to accompany it. There are no storm clouds, just hoofs.

As the thundering of Minotaur, beast-plagued, and demons from every horrible reach of the Abyss thunders towards the walls of Mokra Kai. As the war begins, the battle begins, you hear the sounding of war drums, orc versus Minotaur, each trying to drown out the other, none ever winning, but ever pounding. And all of the orcs around you

leaving you, rushing to the front line as you hear the clashing of blade on flesh and on blade. And you want to go down into the fray and help on the front line, but you know better. And soon, just you five, Warchief Shangoro Frostfang and Golden Lotus remain, and you see all spread out the bloodshed that is occurring.

waves a tide of bodies and black fur crashing against the orcs civilization and they're gaining ground. What do you do? Are we still up towards the top of the city? You're up towards the citadel. Who did you say is gaining ground? Sorry. The beasts are or the orcs are? The beasts. Okay, the beasts are gaining ground. They throw body after body and although you see the formations of the orcs and the way that they move in combat,

You understand why they're called the Dancing Blade Clan. The way that they move as if they are dancing. And they are masters of the blade, whether it be sword or axe or blade or spear. They are masters of their craft. But the sheer numbers and savagery of the beasts that crash against them continues to batter and batter and batter. And you see the calm resolution

On her face. Golden Lotus's face. As if this is all meant to be. But the Warchief is getting to the point where he cannot abide as he watches his people get slaughtered. Is he...

So are we in the throne room area? No, you are right outside of the Citadel. Okay. You're looking down into the city as it basically, there are tiers of elevation, right? Right. And you're looking down at the various levels and then the Citadel is the highest point where there's a number of bridges and you have the confidence, right? You were promised by the Beast Lord. Hartek, I believe, was his name. Yeah.

As the yetis and the tigers and everything else and the nature of the narrow passages would make it basically unimpenetrable. But as you watch the battle unfold, you're not so sure. I'm looking out not just for the warchief. I'm doing a quick glance to see if I see Revali anywhere. You look around, I'm going to make a roll for it. You do not see Revali at all.

Guys, the plan is we stay and protect the protection thing, right? I don't want to use the word. You know what I mean, right? Yes. This is where we're supposed to be. Right here. Well, not right here. We need to... Chief, we need to know where to go. Aye. And you see there's something that washes over Warchief Frostfang's face. And he looks at Golden Lotus.

And he looks at the glaive in his hand, surging with power. And he says, I know what you told me to do. And I have trusted you every step of the way. But I cannot watch my people get slaughtered and not be with them. The five of you, you are the vanguards. Stay with Golden Lotus. Guard the seal. Watch in her pool. I must fight.

And he immediately turns his back to all of you and thunders away and leaps into the sky. And you see that despite his advanced age, he has the energy and strength of dozens of orcs, of young orcs, as he leaps forward and disappears into the city as he rushes forward. And you see Golden Lotus, just six of you now. There's not Herja.

just the five of you in golden lotus as she looks at all of you but her eyes linger on caprice shall we observe the battle from my seeing pools is it all right that he just ran off i mean i don't know if you heard what uh uh kargash was saying last night but there is no reason to be alarmed he has a wild spirit that is why i found him many decades ago

Today is a day I've foreseen for a very long time. I will let him have this for himself and his people. It was an order from the Warchief we should go to the pool. How far are the pools from the seal? We don't want to wander too far. Not far. Nearly a ten minute run. That's a little too far for my taste. I don't care for that. I'd want to be at the seal. He's not told you where the seal is, has he?

No, we didn't really get the chance to ask him. You'll be close enough. Well, he did say to go and watch from her growing pool, so... He knows we're the Vanguard. We're the ones protecting. That's why we're here and not fighting. And that was the order he gave, so... I don't usually follow orders. I know. I do. Please lead the way. I know. We don't really have any other choice. I don't like it either. If you foretold this, did you see him running off?

I knew he had the spirit of a young orc, full of bloodlust and a fervor for battle in his clan. He would not be our warchief if he did not have that, would he? What do you foresee happening to him? Fulfilling his destiny, as all of us do. And the level of certainty and almost grimness comes over her face, a little bit surprising. I don't like this, Cyrus. What choice do we have, Lufthi?

I will start to, I guess, walk towards Golden Lotus in the pools. Yep. Try to follow her. Insinuating that I'm going, I'm gonna follow. I'll be behind Felix. I'll narrow my eyes at her and then follow. You will know what to do. She guides you to the city, up the winding path to her sanctum. The priest where you were just last night, through her private chambers,

the chest that had the glaive now empty, open, guides you through to the golden blossoms of the glaive. And she waves her paw and once again the golden blossoms fall onto the water and swirl around and around and around. And suddenly you see a bird's eye view of the battle as you all stare

into this pool from a hawk's eye view, as you see beastmen, hordes, the Horde and Legion crashing a wave of flesh and black fur against the walls and weapons of Mograkai. And through the battle, you see a fodder, orcs turned into beasts, lesser demons, lower minotaurs,

but you scan further and further as if a hawk is flying over this army. You see a massive shape, twice as big as the largest of any of the beasts in this army. You've seen it before, but only through the trees, and it seems far larger as you hear war drums banging out, as you see a minotaur that's the size of a fortress raise up

let out a beecher roar from a razor-sharp teeth mouth as it raises a massive arm in the air, a glaive not dissimilar from the one that Warchief Frostfang has, far larger, jagged, black. And you hear the banging of the drums, and through this pool you hear it. And you're not sure if it's through the pool and the hawks or if it's from the din of the battle itself, that familiar chant.

As hundreds, thousands of bestial voices rise as one, banging war drums, as you hear a brutal bull-like voice roar, and you see wheeled out

creatures chained, horrific horned red skinned abominations, devils perhaps, perhaps that once served Moloch himself, kept as prisoners this entire time. And you see this massive Blackford Minotaur take its brutal glaive and cut down each one after the other. And you hear it shriek in agony.

as each one surges his glaive with power. - That's probably not good. - And once again, the din continues, the drums get louder and louder. - And once again, you hear the horrible roar of the bull, as you see from the hawk's eyes view, as this creature spins around this massive glaive and slams it into the ground.

And suddenly, the earth starts to rumble as you all start to lose your footing. And suddenly you hear crashing, a thundering rumbling as if an earthquake, but far worse, is affecting the city. And you hear these screams of panic.

As you look all around you and massive charred black walls of stone start erupting out of the earth as a massive labyrinth of ancient demonic stone. Son of a bitch. From the ground toppling all of the buildings, ancient orcish constructions.

- Well done. - Destroying Mogra Kai in an instant. - Well done. - As a massive labyrinth erupts out of the ground, all from the energy of the Heart Cleaver. - Did you say labyrinth? - The Black Glaive of Baphomet. - Oh my god, does that feel good? - From sacrificing the devils. - From me. - As you hear the shrieks and the screams as wolves all erupt around you and all of you make a dexterity saving throw.

This is where the second die I've rolled this session. I have to look at my skills because I don't even know. You said dex, like straight up dex? Dex, you say? That's not what I'm good at on this character. Did you say disadvantage or just straight? Straight. What is it? Skills, features and traits, abilities? 11. I got 18. 19. 27. Wow. I rolled an 11.

Doesn't matter. Five. You see, as the roar bellows out, and whatever...

camera you have over the battlefield, you see Sarksa turn and plummet and spiral downward and downward and downward. As it crashed into the ground, there's a splatter of blood before it goes out from the wound. As you hear the roars of tigers and yetis and hawks and all their beasts, as they lose their minds,

terrified, shrieking, and you hear the screams of beastmasters as their own beast turns against them, tearing them apart as the king of beasts, the horn king. And that's his final plan. And Iris and Caprice, you notice far too late,

as a massive wall of stone erupts in between the five of you and Golden Lotus. And you are smashed as it rockets skyward from the ground beneath you. - Why this? - 16, 26, 27, 29 points of bludgeoning damage.

- I'm resistant to bludgeoning for no reason. - 29 points of bludgeoning damage. - Ooh! - As it smashes up and walls 30 feet surround you, and the five of you, where you had just been in a beautiful glade, you see the crumbling of towers, of ruins all collapsing as a horrible, charred, black labyrinth.

emerges all around you, destroying Mogra Kai in an instant. Fuck. Did you foretell this? Did you see this happening? Golden Lotus has been separated from you by a massive roll. Oh, oh, oh, oh. You've all been separated, and Iris and Caprice, unfortunately. I would rush to one of their aid, whoever's closer, and try to help them up if they've fallen over the wall. You've also been knocked prone.

Okay, then yeah, I'm gonna help, try to help them out. The five of you are together. Gold Motus has been knocked to the side. Hey! This massive wall has been moved. Are you all right? Are you all right? Here, take my hand. Come on. Are you all right? Yes, I cough up blood. I'm fine. Ah, the wall hit me right on that knob on the back of your head. What? This is a lot worse than I was expecting. You should not have listened to her. Capri, stand up. Can you walk? Yes, but I think I may have a latex allergy. Okay.

I'm gonna... That's not what you said last night. Oh dear lord. We're 100% lambskin! While they're discussing, I'm gonna take a look around and whisper to Beatrice to try to fly up and get a sight of what's going on above us. You can see it through her eyes, right? I believe so, let me double check. But yeah, I believe that I can. So you whistle at 100 feet.

Yeah, give her a little... And suddenly you hear the flapping of wings, and a cute little blue bird lands on your shoulder and looks around like, "What the fuck is all this?" Yeah. And she immediately flies up. You see Felix's eyes glaze over as she flaps up, flaps up, flaps up, flaps up. The king of westerners. And from your point of view, Felix, you see where once was a city. You see a massive maze.

of ancient demonic stone that's risen up. You see the crumbling remains of all of the buildings that you had become so familiar with. They're all destroyed. And you see down at the very bottom, you see the massive form of Baphomet.

The Horned King grab its glaive, one end of a labyrinth, and you see two massive razor sharp teeth demons. They're almost grotesque minotaur abominations. Like generals, lead the way through the labyrinth as if you're gonna charge into the city, as if they have some knowledge of where they're going. All three of them running as fast as they possibly can in a charge.

and they disappear into the labyrinth. - Oh, this is bad. - There's absolute chaos on the front line. - This is bad. The whole city's gone in an instant. Just gone. There's nothing left of the city. It's just a giant-- - Perception check with Beach. This is Perception, please. - The golden lotus is gone. - Oh, Perception. Oh, you know, I don't think I have her stats. - It would be his Perception, right? 'Cause you see through his eyes, right? - Oh yeah. - I forget. I think I'm supposed to use Perception. - She's advantage over Perception.

- That's fine. - While he's doing that, I'd like to do something as well. - Yeah, that one's better. I apologize. Perception is gonna be a 22. - 22? What are you doing lifting while that happens? - I am going to using my...

- I can't remember what it's called. Oh, unarmored movement. I'm going to run up the wall 30 feet. - Perseverance check please for you. - Okay. - Do we know how tall the walls are? - 30 feet. - Oh, okay. Oh, well there you go. - So Beatrice flies up. - 18. - And looks around.

She's flapping her arms. She just immediately notices Baphomet and two massive demonic generals charge forward into this labyrinth, seemingly knowing where they're going. Through these walls, Lufty, you are running up. I am particularly trying to wrap the walls separated us from Lufty. And you see from the corner of your eye, as you run over the wall, a flash of gold on the other side.

It dims down. You run up and you look down at the other side. Were you expected to see golden lotus? It's gone. And nothing. Beatrice sees where the citadel had once stood, ruins and ancient, demonic, charred black stone. But you see the illuminating, deep from the earth, a glowing, pulsing blue that looks so familiar from so many months ago.

All right, all right, this is bad. The city's gone. There's nothing left. The whole city's gone. Baphomet and some sort of generals that he's with, some sort of creatures are entering this maze and they're moving with purpose. It's as if they know where they need to go and we're in a race for time. Ah!

I mean, from what I could see, from what I was looking through Beatrice, I saw the glow of what has to be the seal. And it's got to be at the center of whatever the hell this is. Well, lead us there. We have to go. We have to beat Baphomet there. I don't know if I can lead. Or we can do the best that we can. I can only see so far. Put him on your back and Beatrice will guide us, yes? I'll...

throw him up in the air and make sure that he lands on my shoulders. Does this help at all, Felix? Okay, hold steady. Am I able to, do I feel like I'm going to be able to hold on to Toa and like try to, try to look through Beatrice's eyes at the same time? I would say you can look through Beatrice's eyes and use Toa's hair as like a ring to like guide him. for his new group.

- I would be able to just verbally say things, right? I can only see one of the, okay, then I'm gonna basically hold on to Toa with all my might, not be able to see except out of Beatrice's eyes and try to give us an advantage to try to get through the maze. - Okay, I want you to make an Arcana check at advantage with Beatrice's help. - I'm gonna pull out my spoon and stand in front of you guys. - Arcana? Why does my skill list look so small?

- You ain't got no skills. - Oh, plus nine, there it is. That's gonna be a 21. - 21. So with Lufty running along the top of the labyrinth, calling down with Felix helping guide from Beaches flying overhead,

Toa is able to guide the group. You make your way through the winding maze, taking every single turn. You hear the roar of the bulls off to one side. You manage to divert your attention. You run into no conflict. Oh, shit. And eventually, you find yourself at a point of the maze with the help of Lufty running along the side and Beatrice flying above, where you see the ruins of the Citadel. Just freak the mighty vibes. And a massive hole

deep into the earth with a glowing blue vibe. You all arrive and you look down and you see a massive chamber and it looks like the architecture of Mogurkai, but you see that same familiar seal.

So we didn't see the seal.

You can see it all right down below you as you all arrive there. - Oh boy. - This is it. - We gotta get down there. Are we gonna defend it here? Should we get closer to the seal? - How big is this thing? I mean, this is like a massive. - It's a massive like temple beneath the earth.

Like where you see this massive steel below you. How many entrances does it look like? There are no entrances beyond the maze. No, no, I guess what I'm saying is like we came out of the maze, right, and found it. Are there other parts of the maze that look like they pour into this area? So you see that there's multiple entrances. There's a massive hole that's opened up. You see there's multiple entrances on this chamber minifigure. Kind of assumed there would be more than one entrance.

- It's fun today. - We need to go right from the seal and fight there, just like we did back at the lodge. - Is there anything we can do to slow them down? - I'm not sure. - Destroy the walls? - I don't know what good slowing them down is going to do. - I don't know, just-- - They're going to get here regardless, we need to kill them. - Touching the walls, would I be able to determine just by looking at them if I feel like these are some sort of magic stone or if it is just stone? - Arcana check at advantage, please.

18 plus 9 is 27. This is stone. You know this was summoned by Baphomet. You know from all of your research, these minotaurs, these demons that serve Baphomet have a labyrinthian knowledge of where they can navigate any labyrinth remains, and they can get to where they need to go. It doesn't seem to be natural stone. It could be natural stone, depending on what you're trying to do. It has been risen, and...

Let me just check my spell book for one second. I think I didn't take that spell today. I didn't expect to be in a maze today. So I took a bunch of... Fuck! I took a bunch of... I got rid of... I got rid of Move Earth and Transmute Materials. I had to take off my... Oh, I didn't prepare Solve Maze. Yeah, I thought for sure I wouldn't need it.

Ah, damn it. Yeah, okay, you got me, Mike. You beat me on this one, pal.

I don't know why you didn't take maize. I didn't take... I unprepared fabricate and I unprepared transmute rock. Those are some good ones. You know what? Keep your mouth shut. It's a really good space, Felix. All right, I got nothing here. Got nothing. What do you do then? You're standing above this massive chamber to feel pulsing. You hear the thundering of hooves as it gets closer and closer. Do you think I could... If I made an illusion, like there was no hole whatsoever, do you think they'd...

Continue on or do they know it's right here? It'll probably slow them down, but they know where they're going I don't think that they need to see it to understand where they need to go I mean they made this with this in mind as the endpoint they know where they're headed even if they don't know what they're looking for We might be able to slow them down But I think other than that we just have to prepare ourselves to fight could be somehow like some kind of trap I

Like maybe put like a really big rope across one of the entrances, like all the entrances of the labyrinth and they won't see it and they'll trip right into the hole. - I can put down some of these pistachios.

That's not a table block. I mean, the moves on pistachios, it's like, have you ever seen that movie Home Alone? It's unbelievable. I literally cannot believe I unprepared Transmute Rock. I'm so mad at myself right now. If you want to take it. No, no, no, no. I made a conscious decision that I wasn't going to be in a maze today. Uh...

I've got my deck of illusions. Maybe I can slow... I mean, I know we're slowing them down, but, like, maybe the tide turns in the battle and we get back up. Or if the chief is successful in his ability to take down Baphomet, then they'll disperse, right? The disbursement. Again, if you think you can spare the spell slots, then you might be able to shatter some of the stone with...

with some sort of thunderous activity or shatter or something. - This is a deck of illusion. I can unlock as many of these as I want to. I could just gambit style five in a row and there could be an insanity pandemonium here. - I was going for a more physical approach, but either way, I think we're only going to slow them down.

I don't think we're gonna stop them permanently. - I think an illusion might be a good idea. We know that he has two big generals with him, I think the DM said. - Yeah, those two giant demon minnows. - That is what was related to me and I relate to you. - If we can somehow confuse them and split them up, maybe we fight one at a time.

Or at least... It's worth a try. I'm gonna go get fucky, and I'm gonna start running into the maze. Okay, you run away from the hole. Away from the hole, into the maze. I'm gonna take, like, one or two turns until I feel like the hooves are right upon me. Okay. And then I'm going to lay down... I'm gonna shuffle this, because I don't want a predetermined outcome. I have no idea what these orders were, but random chances. Well, no, you've also ripped up the ones you've used, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I just...

for the audience to know that this is scrambled. I'll put down one at a corner, and then I'll put down another at a corner, and I'll put down another at a corner, and I'll put down another at a corner. Okay. Okay. You see Capri disappear. Behind you, you see the winding path. And so it's technically a labyrinth, because a labyrinth has one entrance and one exit, and that's not the case. This is a maze. Very different. But a labyrinth is...

- Exactly. Labyrinth, Nikki wore the appropriate shirt without realizing it on her birthday. I saw that, I'm like, there is no fucking way she did it. She had daytime Dracula, a brunch with Dracula, 80,000 years before there was a Dracula in our other campaign and she knew it, anyway. She just has a sixth sense. So I would like to, I see Caprice go and do his plan. Yeah. Felix is still on my shoulders. All right, Felix.

- He's got the mace. - We have the seal, I'm gonna just jump on. - Beatrice flies down to the shoulder. - It's like down there, right? - It's right down there. - I'm holding onto your head. - As you leap down, uncover the map, please. - How big is this opening? - You're about to find out. - Very large. - Oh. - Battle map. - Yeah, I know that. - Battle map. - Oh my God, where's our Mickey?

Oh yeah, mini! We haven't had miniatures in so long. I forgot how to play this game. Thank you, Rich, for all of the assistance. This is beautiful. Remember when I had just penis drawings on a dry erase mat? And now with Richie at my disposal, he, look at this, look at this, look at what we've done. I'll do what I can.

- Look, okay, I taped the pieces together. - It's a lot harder to play spot the penis when Mike doesn't draw it. - That's true. - I'm sure we can find a penis. - I miss that game. - You know what? - Mike, I have a question. - Yes. - How many orcs are at the tip of the dick? - There are a lot of orcs at this dick. I mean, if there's a giant fucking cock in this city, there's literally 500 orcs at this big caprice.

- He's in Fucklown. - He's AWOL. - He went AWOL, we jumped in. - I would say you're there with Felix right behind you. - So we're like somewhere over here? - Yes. - Do you care where? - I would say right about there. And I would say the whole opening is about like 40 by 40. - And then Lufty and Iris are still above. - They're staring down into the chamber. - I'm gonna, can you- - So the opening's somewhere over here.

Beatrice lands down on your shoulder and kind of like, nuzzles you, knowing this is all we got. Like, we gotta fight. - Let me down. Can I get down, please? - Yes! - Thank you. - How wide is the opening into this cavern? - 40 by 40. - You actually have a bonus color, right? - What? - If he needs to be a little smaller or bigger for dramatic effect, I'm fine with that. - Oh no. Ow!

Okay. Um, yeah, so...

Yeah, I'm gonna use my staff. I want to slam it down into the ground, standing at the edge of this opening, and I want to summon an insect cloud. It's a 30-foot radius from me to obscure the opening to this thing. So, as you land, you hear a buzzing behind you. You hear Irish chanting in a language that gets more and more grave.

As suddenly she opens her mouth and you've seen the mummy starring Brandon Fraser. Only 97 times. Locusts emerge from her mouth. And a massive cloud of flesh-eating locust monstrosities swarm around this to obscure it from any labyrinthian sensing minotaur beast.

rocketing towards this place. It makes the area heavily obscured for 10 minutes, and they stay there. So once they're there, I'm going to jump in with everybody else. You do that. And so you jump in. You hear... Oh, never mind. The swarm moves with me, remaining centered on me. I'm going to stand right where I'm at. So you're going to stay in right there. Yeah, but I can see through them, so it's fine. So you hear a large buzzing above you. Lufty, what are you doing? Lufty, what are you doing? Lufty. Lufty smash. Lufty smash.

- Big burn, cookie criss! - Sorry. - What the hell? - Cookie criss. - Oh my god. - What in the hell? - What in the hell? I am going to, I'm still up on the wall, so follow in the direction that I saw Caprice run, try to track him, looking down on the wall. - Perception check, please. -

- 15. - You are able to follow Caprice every step of the way, leaping back and forth like Naruto, if you care to. - I do, I do care to. - She's just armed behind the back. - And so, Lufty, you channel and there's a swarm of insects around you, you wait for the beast to arrive. - Oh yeah, so you were also heavily obscured while I had my insect plague. - But she's above, she's moving her feet up.

- Then you're fine. - So he looks down at the wall and is like, "Fuck no, I ain't dealing with this shit. "I'm gonna follow the priest." - Oh hell no. - And so the priest, you find four different, the only entrances, I'll just say for the sake of this cool ass shit, for the sake of this, you find the four entrances that Baphomet and his gristro generals will find. And I would say that make an arcana check advantage, please. - Oh.

I mean, I'm definitely good at Arcana. Are you? I don't even believe you're not today. That's gonna add advantage. That's gonna be a nine.

You know there are big scary minotaur bitches coming. So good luck in revealing your cards. - I just want to literally get to the point where I think I can turn around and get away from them and then throw the first card and then as I am running back, throw the second card. - You're just throwing one to the other. - Second dick, second dick, second dick. - And the first thing they'll encounter is a veteran of some kind.

The second thing that they encounter is a gnoll. The third thing that they'll encounter is a hobgoblin. And then a fire giant. - Wow, that actually matters! - I see Lufty and I'm like, come on, let's get back, let's get back! Lufty's like, we're on the wrong side of the labyrinth! And then we continue.

You run back and so you see Caprice throwing out and you see just like an old, scraggy, bearded veteran who pulls out a sword and it's like, "I want you to sh..." Instead of swinging a sword around.

imagine uh

- That's a really good impression, Mike. - Thanks, Mike. - You didn't have to say that, because we all knew. - This is my UDM. - You see this massive, red-maned, black, armored, gigantic hulk of a man wielding a massive sword, and you're like, okay, that's pretty good. - I didn't even worry. You pulled it out in a second. - No, look at the draw. I don't know what to tell you.

And this is the last one right above the Insect Swarm. And so you realize you'll have to go through this fire giant to get to the Insect Swarm, to get to the hole. And you both leap down, if you care to, to join your compatriots as Iris stands there. Here we go! Anything else you're doing before this all fucking goes down? I have nothing but...

- Anything I can do instantly, I have no delay in anything. - The second I see any beast creature begin to jump in, I would like to get down on my battle trance and prepare. So I'm ready to battle trance. - Once these two are back, I would like to, I would like to, once they're back,

I would like to position myself to cast Peek and a Poke on everybody. So basically, let's have Lufty and Caprice be on the other side of that conduit. Lufty, Caprice, and Iris is right above you looking down. Looking down so she's able to cast it on all of you. So we're down in the hole. Knowing that it only lasts a minute. I want to do it at the very last second. I'm preparing. If we're all going to prepare something, I'm going to prepare Mirror Image. You do that.

As you all hear... I don't like the drums before. As you hear the massive stomping of footprints, all of you see rubble strewn across this temple, as you all see now. A spiral sigil, a seal with chains across it. The sigil of the chain god, Tharizdun.

It's been months since you've dealt with this threat, but it's far more defended than the last time you've dealt with this. But it feels far more fragile at this point. As Iris, you were the last line of defense. As you hear the massive hoofprints of these Garistro generals, massive demons that are second to only the Balrogs, or basically Balrogs.

And our horrible generals of Baphomet himself, as you hear it get louder and louder and louder. And Iris, you feel fear. You are immortal. As you see this, as you feel and hear this massive beast thundering towards you, you want nothing more than to run, to turn, to flee.

but you are holding a cloud of biting insects that will help Caprice's illusion to help turn the tide. And you are going to stand firm.

And you hear It's louder and louder and louder and louder. And suddenly you see two massive beasts emerge. Razor sharp teeth, wide soulless eyes, deformed horns. They look like minotaurs, but far larger and far more deformed.

As they thunder forwards, no weapons, just massive clawed fists and hooves and horns, just sheer agents of destruction. As they stumble forwards, make a deception check at advantage, Caprice, with your fucking fire giant. I will accept one 31. A 31? Yeah.

Okay! What the fuck? Plus 14. That's pretty amazing. I wish I had plus 14.

So, Iris, you hear louder and louder and louder thundering all around you, and you hear off in the distance, Baffo-mat, Baffo-mat, Baffo-mat, Baffo-mat! As it gets louder and louder and louder, as it echoes through the labyrinth and the maze, and you see two massive beasts thunder forward as the fire giant that is not actually there is the last line of defense before your insects swarm, and they are

are taken aback as they... The natural one. Stumble forward. Shocked by the random giant...

Slavic-accented, red-maned fire giant that is swinging its sword at them, not hurting them, but they stumble forward, losing their ground, falling into an insect swarm, devoured, and land hard onto the ground right before the four of you. Yeah. As they stumble forward, Iris, big rush past you.

and you feel the need to jump out of the way. But you hold strong in your god, and you feel like you could get splattened at any moment. And the massive stomping hooves just barely miss you as they are engulfed in stinging, biting insects of locusts from the mummy-sarring Brendan Fraser. - And Billy Zane.

- What the fuck? - As they start to run forward, unable to see, as they disappear through the giant, disappear into the cloud of insects, and suddenly ground gives way.

The four of you look up and you see two massive demons fall, slamming down hard, prone, devoured by fucking insects. I need everyone to fucking roll for initiative. We're starting combat, let's go! - And a Luthri fire giant looks down into the hole and is like, "You think this is bad, Labyrinth?" - And don't forget, you all officially have that thing that I did. - It puts on his Adidas. - Hell yeah, it does. - Beacon of Hope.

Oh, wait. Well, yes, you have that. But Beacon of Hope, for the next minute, you have advantage on wisdom saving throws and death saving throws, and you regain maximum hit points from any healing. So make sure that you use your potions. We get the max healing amount. Yes. I need to. You don't have to roll for it. I'm going to forget all this shit. Wisdom saving throws and death saving throws. Death saving. That's an important one. Wisdom probably will come up, maybe. Wis plus death.

Okay. I do not have any. 21. Damn it. 21. Wow. 15 to 20? 19. Yeah. So what did you say? 15 to 20. Oh, I got 17. Iris. Iris! Iris! 10 to 15? 15.

Wow. Caprice is having a bad day. I'm rolling okay. I'm not having a good day, though. I'm too focused on making the fire giant do the claw thing. I got a seven. Wow. Holy fuck. He's Fortnite. Holy fuck, you're bad. I rolled a natural one on initiative. Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today. All right. You can take me to Missy Meyer.

- I'm gonna relance on that song now. - He also likes some white tomato sound. - That is unironically an absolute fucking banger. Bangerang. - Well, it's based on a really good song. I don't know if you know that. - Toa, you hear the thundering.

You get around. Through the thundering of hooves, it has two massive demonic creatures that look like minotaurs, but not even bulls. They just look like horrible bloated abominations.

These are truly demons. They fall flat on their face, devoured an insect, fallen prone with a fucking advantage because of all this bullshit that you guys have done. And I'll allow it. Prone's not good for wizards. And it has affected their HP. And they slam down. But you all hear, and Iris, you hear

A thundering of hooves that's far more menacing. Far more deliberate. Far more horrifying that is thundering your way, that's coming very, very soon. And you realize the entire plague of insects is surrounding you, but it won't fool Baphomet, the horned king. The fire giant will not fool the horned king. So, Toa, what do you do? Seeing this...

Goristro, presumably, fall straight in front of me, and he's prone, and I take my chance, and I was ready, so I'm already battle tranced, ready to go, and I'm just going to use my two attacks right on his head, if I can, to end it as quickly as possible. Number two? Number two, yeah. So, B's for one attack, this for another, and then I'll roll for the win fury proc. Damn, dude. Which I fail on my win fury proc.

Oh, and there's a great weapon master attack. So it is... Sorry, there's a lot. Matt, you know me far too well, buddy. Good to see you. What does Kermit give you? Yes, as long as you're doing melee. Disadvantaged if you're anti. 23 and 20. The 20 is not hit.

- What? - What the fuck? - Good lie, friend. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was looking at a different stat block. - That's terrifying. - Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking at a different stat block. - My bad. - What the fuck? - I gotta go, guys. - Yeah, it's late. Let's call it. - Pro Fortnite gamers. Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today.

Welcome to the Drunk Saturday Night Stream. Hey Mike, do you want to tell me about the Heatmiser? So we're talking about the Heatmiser. I'm Mr. Green Christmas, I'm Mr. Sun. I'm Mr. Heatblister, I'm Mr. 101. Anyone continue? Great job. Sorry. Oh my god, dude. Hey, bad voodoo daddy, listen up.

- Great job, man. - So the ideal, let me make sure this is correct, 57 points of damage to number two with my two attacks. - That's pretty good. - And that's magical damage. - That is magical damage. - These are, you see these demons slam down face first, teeth shattering, horns chipping, covered in locusts, and it almost looks comical, but you don't question it.

As you know that Caprice and Iris have done whatever they've done, you get one smash and then a second, and you don't hesitate for a second. In your maul, you feel your tattoos glowing. You feel the power of the north, the south, the east, the west winds empowering your maul as you bash into these demons. They chose the wrong city to attack.

And with that, it is the lair action. And I would just adjust a little bit. What? Oh, hell. But you hear a rumbling. Nothing yet, Felix will tell you. Oh, God. That's not ominous. So as soon as these creatures kind of like, you know, we hear them thunder off the cliff, right? Into the pit. They smash into it. Yes, they fall into the pit. Story of Rain and Fraser. My...

Anyone who happens to be looking in my general direction, the outline of my body kind of gets fuzzy and starts to shift and move, and the next thing you know, four Felix heads peek out from behind Toa and is like, what in the hell? And the voices are slightly off from each other, and four Felixes stumble away from Toa. Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello! - So there are four Felix's trying to-- - I missed my dream Christmas. - We're not a barber quartet yet. We haven't practiced that yet. We're getting there. All four Felix's, images of Felix kind of run to the edge of this pit.

And is like, "Nice shot, y'all!" And then with all four daggers in unison, a yellow and fiery red bead launches from the dagger to land right about there, and I'm gonna need them both to make a DC 17 dex check. - And they are prone, so. - Oh, that is disadvantage. - Fuck! - I get to reroll ones and two. - Fuck, a natural one, goddammit.

Fuck a natural one, goddammit. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Dex? Seven for both of them. Okay, they both fail. Great. So they're going to take five, 10, 15, 25, 30, 34 fire damage from the firebolt. Holy shit, 34 you said? Yeah, I think so.

- So that's 91, which is 34. And so that's Firebolt? - Fireball. - Fireball. - That's why I dropped it like there. - So you see Toa smash and smash as they land as, and your card of the Djinn ignores Fire Descent, so does it? - I don't think so. I will double check. - I believe I gave that to you.

I get plus two attack bonus rolls in addition to cover spells and deal damage. No. - Oh. - The only thing it lets me do, it lets me reroll ones and twos, which I did. - Okay. - And it gives me, it ignores half cover.

There's nothing about fire resistance. Haft is 17. Yes. 17. So you extend your dagger, you see Toad running in and it blasts in as it explodes on them. They are not able to dodge, however, you see their flesh start to...let me see if they are resistant to it. Their demons are probably...

- Fire. - That's an elemental adapt like Surnax. - Yeah, I thought about taking it, but it wasn't, there was just other better Felix things. - Oh yeah, of course. - It was tough, it was a tough choice. - And so it explodes, their flesh singes, but not as much as you'd hope, but it still does damage, you're unable to dodge it, so 17.

Yeah, 17 damage. That's not bad for both of them. Oh yeah, 17, okay. It explodes and they take the full damage. Still prone. Iris, you are standing. The insects swarm around you. Now they've taken the damage as they've been devoured by Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. They don't take damage from this.

From Insect Swarm? Yeah, they do. No, it says that they're harmless. It's just they can't see anything. Well, I've already... They take damage. It's for the flavor. They take damage when they fell on the pit. When they fell on the pit. Yeah, exactly right. So the Insect Swarm is swirling around you. All of your friends are down in this chamber, the temple. It looks like a temple of true reverence. And you see the spectral chains over the swirling seal of entropy and destruction and hatred.

What do you do? Well, it's my birthday, so can I kill them immediately? No, you don't get that. You can, if you say, I use Brendan Fraser to do X, Y, or Z, I'll probably give it to you. If I do raise dead, can I raise Brendan Fraser from the dead? Well, remember from Anime USA, we had Brendan the Skeleton. He was in our game, and he met my grandmother, so. In the words of Derek, you can cast a level nine spell with gun. Ha ha ha.

- It's level 10. - Sorry, it's level 10. - You gotta be gone. - It's level 10 spelled gun. You're allowed to do that. - I am going to cast-- - Call an ambulance for you. - Somebody call an ambulance for you. - I'm gonna cast Spiritual Weapon at a fourth level. - You got it. - Right on top of the two of them. - It's advantaged.

Oh, okay. Whichever one you care to summon. Give me a little token. What? A token. Do you want to use this? Yeah, that's perfect. Look at that. It's like a little obelisk.

- That's very cool. - On number two. - It came with my Iris off, my Cat's Eye Day. - It looks like a little dessert. - Whatever I touch. - And then, yeah, 'cause that's the bonus action. - Starts a melt from my flesh. - A bonus action, so I'm gonna do that. - And you swing and you attack it as a part of that. - Yeah, to number, are both of them? - Number two's the most damage. - I'm gonna go to number two. - Yeah, he got walloped by our boy, Toa.

And only slightly singed by me. Natural 20. That's fucking good! Welcome to Beneath Dark Wings, where all of my monsters get cocked, such and cocked.

By, uh, Kinkai Rool. Woo! It's also known as the party. Fuck. Oh my god. Also a mouse. I'm like, I'm moving a mouse around with my mousepad, but I know there's no laptop or anything. I'm assuming that he's doing something. Can we get a Maya? We did. You just did it. Not, not. I don't believe it.

The Heart Limiter only does so much. If you wear it out, it gets tired and stops working. Heart Limiter tired. 26 points of damage. Of force damage, correct? Uh, yeah. Oh my god.

26 points of horse damage, yes. So you channel down and as the insect swarm swirls around you, you hear, are you gonna move? No. You hear a horrible, brutal stomping hoof attack moving towards you. Yeah, I know. And then, for my action. You channel and you hear a gong and you see the, what

- What is it called? - The, uh, the-- - Power Rangers. - No, what is the blank in the blank for any of us? - The crooked-- - The crooked and flail. - The crooked flail appears magically glowing in that shimmering teal and gold and smashes, and you see where it has fallen, distracted by the locusts and Brendan and Fraser. It's smashed in the face, and you see his horn, one of his horns literally gets smashed off by the spiritual weapon. - I love Brendan Fraser, I love him.

- And Locust. - I love him. - And then for my action, I want to look at that one again and cast Toll the Dead on him. - You do that. - The gong rings again. - He has to make a wisdom saving throw or get damaged. - He actually might succeed this.

Wiz? Yeah. Can I agree with him? 25. He's going on the list. That's what we're watching, isn't he? Yeah, so nothing happens. You hear a gong, but he managed to close his bull-like demonic ears. And then I want to... I want to climb down that. You use your feline at grace and you just...

You scale down and you join next to Jorah. And I basically want to be where I'm at, yeah. These chains are in the air above us now if we're down on the ground? Yeah, they're about waist-tight or chest-tight. These are like pillars, right? Yes, these are conduits. And you remember the conduits from the Lockfeather Lodge. Okay. Where this avian demon destroyed them while I was wasted out of my goddamn mind. Oh, wow. No one remembers. I don't, certainly. Okay.

Just don't watch episodes 3 and 4. Yeah, really don't watch episode 4. And most of them got destroyed, and these are very similar, but they seem to be resonating with far more energy.

- As if. - How avian are they on a scale of avian to avian? - These are all bullium. - Oh. - What? - Not avian. - Bullium. - What's a similar word? - Bouvine. - Bouvine. - I'm sorry everyone for giving me a big lecture. - They're all, they're beautiful.

- Or is he beefed a second time? - Matt's watching, rewatching, I'm like, I hope he doesn't call me out on episode four. And literally the first fucking thing he said when he's watching it, he was like, Mikey is full on wasted here. And I'm like, you son of a bitch!

I love you buddy. You ain't wrong. You ain't wrong. I love you buddy. Most of us have been there. We've all had a beer. We've all been there. That was a learning experience. Cheers! You really get into character. Anyway, with that it's Wolfie's turn. Yes, it is. I can't even do this.

- Okay, so I'm gonna be spinning my spoon over my head and then... And then I'm gonna jump and go... And turn away. - They're still prone. - Okay, so I'm gonna go... Like that, and that'll be my first two hits. - Oh, hold on. - That'll...

- He's gonna go get the flamethrower. - What's he getting? - Flamethrower. - Oh. - I don't know, that's what Derek said. I hope he doesn't have a flamethrower. - It's a level 11 spell. - Oh no. - I thought we'd put away the, no Mike. No, no. What the fuck is this? - It's his thunder drum. - Oh, it's beautiful.

- That might hurt people's ears. - Sorry. - I have a drum for our sea shanty band, ask about it in chat. - Okay. - Find out about it in our Discord. - About our sea shanty band. - Maybe some too. - So number two is going to take, what does that say?

- I was kinda hoping it was a flamethrower. - Number two is gonna take 22 damage. - What did you actually do? - 22 damage. - 22 points of damage to number two. - She's spooning them. - I am spooning them. - Wait, how do you even hit them?

- Because she's at advantage because they're prone and she got a natural 17 and a natural 19. - Plus nine. - Oh, fine, okay, fine. - So what was 17 damage? - Yes, but I don't know if that deals with them. I'm going to make it thunder damage on both of the first hits to them. - Oh, thunder. - Oh, that's why. - You might not be listening to that. - Oh, you're not? No, they're not listening to that. - That's fine, okay.

It'll just leave a blade. They're not resistant to it. Oh, yes, it's there. So if you had chosen lightning damage, they would have been resistant, but you decided thunder damage. But would they have gained all of that back as health? Thunder, no. Let me go get my guitar and amp, and I'll play the intro with Thunder. Ha!

I'm gonna drive home real quick and get my pen out. The Frankenstein runs at you. I would like to make that. That's gonna be 934 points of lightning damage. So do you need to know separate damage or no? Overheels. Yes, I do. Okay, so it's 14 regular damage. 14 to number whom? No, it's all the same. Oh, it is all the same. Okay, yeah. So then it was 20. What did I say? 22. So 22 to 2.

Oh, I already rolled that. 19 to number one. Okay. And then I'm just gonna like step on number two's face because I don't like him. You gotta pay good money for that. Someone link the clip. No, no, stop it. Stop it. No, no, no, no, no. Stop it. The clip of what? Woo! And that'll be another 10 damage to number two. Number two. Of foot damage.

That was from that episode, wasn't it? You gotta stop. This isn't directed by Quentin Tarantino. This isn't directed, this isn't Udo Fortu at 314. Udo Fortu. At 14 damage. I fucking need everyone.

So much for a serious campaign. Yeah, no, it's not serious at all. Okay, you leap down, following Caprice and Iris, and you smash, smash, and you literally, you see these gorishos falling on the ground, and you just, like, take your foot, and you don't have a heel, but you imagine that you'd probably be better if you did, and you smash. You'd probably be better if you did. Okay.

You take your weapon and you smash on this bull's face. And the other Grisha looks like, and thinks, God, I wish that were me. LAUGHTER

- Okay, I'm done, I promise. - With that it is, oh, it's their turn, finally! - And they get to spend half their movements standing up. - They get to spend half their movements and standing up as they all, each of them turn. And you see these glowing conduits and they lower their heads. You see their horns, one of them smashed off, but it doesn't matter. They have their purpose as they smash forward.

as they charge and they're gonna make attacks on the conduits and not you. Hey, you know what I'm doing here. - It's a DPS check. - Would they be disadvantaged because of my ancestral business 'cause they're not attacking me? - I hate you. - That's a yes, by the way. - Yes, but their AC is not there. - On any attack that isn't against you, yeah. - Natural one on number two. - Number two flies over to the wall.

Bring him forward, he smashes against the wall, dealing damage to himself. As he smashes into it, number two, you see them lower their heads, they stand up, and they charge forward. So number two, not the other, the opposite side of Felix, into the wall.

- Wait, oh here? - Oh shit. - No, he passes the conduit. - This conduit? - Yeah, because he's trying to attack the conduit and then you see that they're swirling around him. A moa, a shark, a turtle, a boar. And he gets distracted and he moves far to the left and he charges forward. - Okay. - So over here somewhere. - Slamming into the wall. - So I'm okay? - You're fine. - Okay. - Is he over there? - Yes.

And he slams into the wall, dealing some damage to himself. Do I get an opportunity attack? No. Do I? And you don't. Does he look to you? No. I'm assuming they have some sort of flyby. So they have some sort of flyby, because I feel like, because we all come from the Misc of the Wolf spider, that opportunity attacks are bullshit. So...

I'm the DM. I decide what happens. All of these flavors and you choose to be sold. Yes, I do. I do. Starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. He smashes into the wall.

you hear a loud crack as he does not fall prone, but he is hitting. The other attack, however, does smash into it. You see him smash into it.

into it and a burst of energy bursts out. - So where is he right now, Karin? - He's against the wall. - He's talking about the other guy. - He hits the wall. - He's talking about the other one. - So number one. - Number two is there. - He's there. - Number one smashing the conduit. - I see, I see. - So he's exactly right, Kels. He stops there and with his full action, he smashes the conduit. It bursts out with silvery energy. Caprice.

You hear a hoot. As it almost goes silent. And then sucks back in. And you need to make a constitution saving throw to disadvantage. Indeed. Suck me right to hell. I will accept one 17, please. That fails. Yeah. So, you take... Ooh. Hold on.

Oh, you are paralyzed until the end of your next turn. And you see one end of the conduits as it smashes and Caprice, you are as you hear the hoot of an owl and you feel death itself almost sap your energy. What the fuck? As it paralyzes you. And what, as the conduit shatters.

and one out of the six pillars is destroyed. - Should we put an X through that one? - Sure. - Just for funsies. - As long as you don't care about the map. - The point is for you guys to fight on this. - All right, cool. - So what part of the order are we in? - Caprice. - Oh, you're paralyzed. You try to move and you feel the power of death itself and you attempt to move and suddenly

Can you cast spells, can you cast certain spells while paralyzed? You can't do anything while paralyzed. I don't think so. Paralyzed is a really bad one. Got it. What's wrong with you? It's your turn. Yeah, we're all waiting around for everyone to do one thing. It's the end of the round.

- Which means Bafomich is here. - Bafomich? - Don't tell me what's happening, but that's exactly right. - Shit. - You hear . And the entire labyrinth and maze around you rumbles. The entire earth you feel as if you're going to lose your ground as the thundering of hooves. And you see a massive shape. The force

the illusion of the fire giants burst. You have a sense that your insects swarm compared to the mass. It's gone. Yeah. You're right, it's gone. Yeah. So it's literally, oh, you landed. You climbed down. Yeah, I climbed down. Oh, so all you hear, this is outstanding actually. Everything's avian. All you do is you hear a horrible stomping.

As you hear, and then you hear, you feel a looming presence at the opening above the temple, the seal, and you see a shadow completely block out the moon as a massive creature looms into the center.

You see a black furred minotaur. Larger than anything you've ever seen. That's horrendous. Where would you like me to place this? At the very center. Let me see it. Right on top of my spiritual weapon. Yep, yep, yep. That's a big old minotaur. And you hear the thundering of drums and the voices still ringing out through the labyrinth. Can you share nipples? Baffle mat, baffle mat, baffle mat. Yikes. Well, that's not good.

Okay. And it lands. I guess my plan's gonna change a little. And you see this massive creature. And you've seen a glaive form from ancient magics, but the weapon that it wields is far older. It wields a weapon that is of time immemorial. And it looks at all of you, this massive creature, and it almost lets out a guttural laugh.

as it looks at all of you, and then it narrows its eyes on Toa. - I can't save you, friend. - And you see, you see it not even move. It takes this massive leaf, heart cleaver, spins it around, its eyes bore into your soul, slams it down, and suddenly

- You are, your consciousness leaves you. Toad disappears from all of you. - No, no, no, no, no. - What? - I can't do this again. I can't do this again. - Ezzy casts maze. - Wait, it's a spell? - Oh, it's the...

- Now he teleports Toa out of existence into a maze. - Correct. - Oh no! - So he casts Maze on Toa the Barbarian. - Where he could be lost for literally a month. - As you feel yourself losing yourself. - If I know this is a spell, I'm going to attempt to counter spell it. - You as a core of, as both of you as classes would know that it-- - I'm gonna attempt to cast counter spell on the fourth level. - Roll for it, Felix.

I don't know what I add to it. I think only one of us is right. It's just my aunt. Just my aunt. Not daddy too. Come on, baby. It's my birthday. Not good. That's an eight. Twist it. Yeah, we got twisticles. Do you have the twisticles? Eight. Thank you, Jack.

- That's gonna be a 21. - Better. - Okay. - You're really fortunate. - As Toa, you feel like an intelligent, leaving your body into a demi-plane of an infinite maze that you, your pitiful brain can never understand or escape. - Just stop doing that. - Felix. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

putting him out of the fight, and you realize this is no pathetic monster. Kargis was right. They were all wrong. The cunning that this creature has is far beyond everything. The fact that they've gotten here this fast, and you manage to grab your dagger just in time and cast a spell, and the wildness of the eyes are dimmed instantly, and suddenly Toa's

Your soul was returned. This maze is fucking counterspell. It's fine. Toa, are you all right? I'm fine! I'm still here! Toa is returned. Seeing that these guys are wounded, but knowing that Baphomet's right in front of me, I immediately just run up and try to, you know, as I can, just...

Whale away. And I will make two reckless attacks on him. And then I just need my Windfury proc in place. That knows its' up. Sorry about that. I'll actually just do this twice.

One's an actual 20. Gotta give it up. And the other one is a 22. The second one barely hits. They both hit. Holy shit. So... Here we go. So we have legendary actions.

Sorry. Actions. I'm not using power attacks. I'm just using that. So for my one, two, three, four, five, six for the crit, and then I get an extra one for brutal, ruthless, critical, whatever, Barbie rain bullshit. And I'm going to roll them all. That's good. Oh, roll them all. This is very fun. 10, 20, 21.

26, 27, 28, 38, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 53,

54, there's nothing else, 54 damage. - 54 points of damage is bad from that. - And then I will use a bonus action. - Okay, go ahead. - Having crit, I will use my great weapon master bonus action to attack again. - You're welcome to do that. - Get him. - At advantage. - Get him. - Yep, yep, yep. - He lost it. - I crushed it, I get a 20 something. - That's fine, that's fine. - And then that is a five, six, seven, eight.

8 plus 10 is 18. 19, 20, 21 more damage. So 70-something. Yeah. Okay, as you run up, you see this black-furred minotaur looming over you. You're hitting its ship, but your maul has been blast by the wind spirits themselves, and you are smashing and cracking into it, and you strike true.

And you are smashing and dealing damage to this aspect of the Horned King. Does he look bloodied? No. I don't know. The capture says he's about to go down. As it looks down at you and you see wild eyes, and you see a slavering bull-like maw, razor-sharp teeth,

and you see it sort of drool more and more and more, just a glob on you, Toa. This horrible necrotic, and then as it burns,

bursts a horrible cone of unholy slobber. - What the hell? - Everyone except for Felix is gonna make a dexterity saving throw. - Yeah, I'm not in that. - Oh, advantage. No, I lied. - Are you still paralyzed or are you not paralyzed? - That's a legendary action, fucker. - 20. - Or at least I can roll for it. - Unholy slobber. - Oh my God, he's a slobbler. - Oh shit. - 20.

Dex, you say? 18. 18? Dex, you say? 18 fails. 20. 20 succeeds barely. 20 succeeds barely. Holy hell. You guys. Fails. So if you succeeded barely, you... I get clobbered on. You do. I need one more d12. Peach, clobber.

- I can't eat that anymore. - Delicious. - Do you have any more gum? - Yes. - May I have? - Nine. - What'll you give me for it? - 23. - My undying love and affection. - 34. - Yeah. - Oh wow. - Spell cast. - 46. - All right, just the slugs.

Mikey, just stop. 46 plus four is 48 points of necrotic damage if you fail. Oh, necrotic you say? Wow, that is a lot of fucking damage. Half of which is halved if you succeeded. So 24. I just let it in reaction. 46. So, oh. So 50, hold on. So what if he failed? 48. Fuck, my brain broke.

Ow, fuck! Layer action. Um...

- My concentration's broken. I can't possibly. - Oh hell. - No, that's like insane. - We can have what you call this is dropped. - We can hope, yeah. - 'Cause it's what? It's 10 or half of the damage? - Yeah. - Which is like 20 something? - So I'd have to get 24. I guess if I got a natural 20. - Well then you should definitely roll it if it's possible. - I guess it's possible. - But I mean, if it's mathematically impossible, impossible to worry about it. - Give yourself a birthday blow.

I'm at advantage, but now I didn't get it. That was a good try. You feel the warm sand disappear. Yikes. You were left alone with the horned cat. Okay. As lair action now happens, as you see his glaive. That's the advantage and the healing. Heart cleaver. Do we lose the max of HP? No. Okay. Sorry, Mike. You see a swirling

of horrible plague around Heartcleaver, his glaive. In the center of several of you, Lufti, he lunges forward and stabs forth, slashes across you, Lufti. No! And bursts to Toa and to Caprice.

He's gonna make a glaive attack. This is very bad. No, it is, absolutely. So any glaive attack that's not against me is disadvantage. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, suck. So disadvantage is still 20... 30. No, that's what I'm missing. Hard cleaver? Yep. Okay. And that is... Who's making the attack? Baphomet. Baphomet.

- Bathmat. - The old bathmat. - I'm gonna go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and get myself a bathmat. - What's a bathmat? - Bathmat. - They have those. They have a shower curtain. - You should get that. - Yeah. - You'd get scared. - I would. - 36 points of slashing damage on you, Lufty. - Thanks. - And you feel a burst as it hits you. - You're resistant to it. - I am? - Yep. - Slashing damage?

- But Lufty, Toa, and Caprice need to make constitution saving throws as it bursts out with corrupting energy. - Constitution saving throw. - And I will also use my reaction to lessen the damage she takes. - Okay, you can go ahead and do that. - Did I take the same amount of damage she did? - 16 plus seven is 23. - Okay, succeeds. - You take 13 less damage, girls. Con saving throw, are you saying? - You take 13 less damage, so give yourself 13 health.

Oh, I thought you were giving me more damage to take. 19. Well, unless you fail a constitution. I rolled an 18 on my constitution. Thanks, Tala. You, Lufty, you resist it. But the heart cleaver slashes into you and bursts out and it, dark corruption blasts out from you.

You see Caprice and you see Toa as black fur starts to scrub from their arms as they've both been afflicted by Beast Plague. They have? Oh no! Oh gosh. And we'll see what happens. Felix, you're up. As you see your dear friends, Caprice and Toa, start to scrub black fur, you remember this from the very beginning of your journey. I begin to sweat profusely.

I'm looking around and I see the number two beast over there who's slammed in the wall. And I see that Toa and the rest of the gang is kind of working on number one and Baphomet. And I'm going to say, oh, wait, what size is number two? You're both number one.

Sorry. Yes, my wife likes poop jokes. So yes, what size is the number two, Mike? Oh my God. It's huge. Actually, it's a huge number two. Holy shit. It's a huge number two. So between, is it medium, large, and then huge? It's medium, large, huge gargantuan. Medium, large, huge gargantuan. And gargantuan. And gargantuan doesn't exist in 5e, but I like to incorporate it for boss monsters. That man is 100% gargantuan. And above gargantuan is colossus.

- Yes, so Colossal doesn't exist in 5/8. - All right, you know what, fuck it, I'm gonna try it. So I say, "I'm sorry, change of plans!" And I wind up again, like I'm gonna swing, throw a punch, and with all four Felix's at the same time do this. And the dagger begins to glow blue and then orange. As I swing forward with my arm, I cast Arcane Hand, and it flies out as a fist.

And at the last minute before it hits number two, it opens up and attempts to grapple him. Okay. And can that grapple a huge creature? It can. It doesn't say there's any disadvantage at a higher level. It just says that if it's medium or smaller, I have advantage on the check. So it's a strength check. Okay, strength check. The hand strength is 26, so I get plus eight. Okay, I get plus seven. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

- Oh, I got a 15. - Twist it, twist it. - I would like to twist it. - I have a 20, you know exactly what you need to roll. - 21. - Oh, I got a natural 20. - So the hand will grapple the beast and I'm using my dagger and forcing and with my bonus action, I will crush the hand. - You think about your brother and the revenge and everything else has happened. And you think about Milo.

as you channel all of your rage, all of your anger, all of your hatred into this fist that materializes out of silver, just like you've been trained, just like you've been trained as a weapon of war, as a boy, as...

as a living weapon by the government of Korovakia. You smash into this creature, grabbing it with the silver fist, thinking of Milo the entire time. - And it will just, unfortunately, only take nine points of some sort of damage. - It's still looking rough. - Bludgeoning damage. - It's still looking rough. - So the hand squeezes tight and grips hard and deals nine points of bludgeoning. But I guess it's technically magic. It's a parkin hand.

- Oh, how about that? Number two? - Yes. - How do you wanna do that? - Oh yeah. - Oh yeah. - It's taking a lot of damage. - I would say the hand would kind of be around its torso and neck. And as it squeezes, its head would just like, it would kind of just like jelly. - Like a pimple. - Yeah.

- The sword hand grabs and squeezes his head. And you see the wild eyes get wilder and wilder and wilder and it boulders out of his head. And every single thing you look and you see Felix, who's normally so calm and collected, and he's full of hatred and anger and rage, and he's screaming and he's grabbing his dagger and this mass sword hand

squeeze and you're all covered in brain gray matter of this demon and it is slain and then I'll just like turn and be like so I'm coming that's my turn okay you kill it number two is dead fuck okay Iris butt legendary action

- A butt. - A butt. - Did you just say butt? - And just so you know, the hand has AC and can be hit. - You see Baphomet turn and look at the failure of its general and does not care and turns and takes Hart Cleaver and leaves it down on you, Toa. And it ends with a reckless. - I wish I could help you.

No, it's not I'm gonna use my reaction regular regular attack as I throw pocket sand in his eyes We haven't gotten a for the WD yes, that's actually very early on funniest shit, oh

- Also Rusty Shackleford is my new name. - 10, 17. - My name is Rusty Shackleford. - 37 points of slashing damage. - Is it slashed? Is it slashes against you? - 34 you said? - 34. - What's half of that? 17? - That crit would've murdered his ass. - That would've been bad. - With that, it's Iris' turn. - I am going to move forward to Toa.

Barely able to hold myself up as I drink my own, not my only health potion, but a health potion. And then I'm going to raise my staff and slam it down into the ground as I touch Toa and I'm gonna cast Greater Restoration on him to try and cure him to Beast Plague. Would I know whether it's a curse or I guess... You know it's a disease. It's a disease. Well, let me see if Greater Restoration works out. And a curse is... it'll work.

- Cool, so I'm gonna grade him a fresh. - You feel the warmth of sand washing over you and you feel the rage coming over you. You feel like you wanna murder your best friends. - No! - You wanna murder Felix. - No! - You feel like he's a little weak. - That happened once before, let's let it go! - And Iris pisses her paw on your skin and suddenly you feel at peace and Iris, you cleanse.

You cleanse Toa of his Beast Plague, but Caprice, you still feel the hatred of everyone else. You feel like Glazia has given you purpose and you hate everyone. Go with that. Can you move Iris behind Toa? Oh, you want to put here? Yeah, and he's going to attack Toa again with his... Oh, actually, no. He has a... Oh, he's going to lean back. And as he looks all around, he's going to let out the roar of the bull.

All of you need to make a constitution saving throw. That's my worst. As it roars out. Const is bad. Can I twist that? Four, five. Of course. Natural 20. What does that mean though?

- Oh God. - Natural 20. - I guess we don't know what it is. - I'm probably gonna fail. - Two, let's go. - I'll fail. - I'll fail. - I get a 22. - I've been on a 25 this whole game. - I got a 27. - I'm gonna lose my concentration though on deep shit. - 20 is the DC. - Oh yeah, I'm not even close. - Eat it. - Nope. - I feel like I have a chance to pass, but I don't, eh, it's fine. - 12. - I've used so many twists already. - It doesn't matter. - 18. - I failed. - 34.

- Three, four. - Oh, that's a lot. - 45. - That's a lot of damage. I probably can't pass. - 56 points of thunder damage. - To who? - To everyone who failed? - To everyone who failed. 56, half if you succeed them. - So hold on, 56. - Oh, okay. - As this horrible bull monster roars and blasts out. - So I should have, oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, wait, wait, wait. - I am down. - Features, feats. - Oh God. - I'm also down.

There we go. I thought I took resilience first. Knock me over. Knock me over. Okay, so half of, what did you say, 56? Yeah. What is half of that, 32? 32. I physically cannot pass my concentration saving throw. Isn't it 28? Yeah, it's 28. It's 28. I physically cannot pass. I get plus seven to my constitution, so I can't even roll a natural 20. So minus 56. You just roar, though. This is bad.

- Yeah, fair enough. - I... - I like it when it's bad. - I don't. I like it when it's easy. - His legendary actions are gone now. So you have that. - That's a lot of damage! - Have I gone since I protected the damage from Lufty? - No. - No. - Yes. - He used it here, right after you went, right? His legendary action.

To attack with the glaive. Yeah, he used it after right here. Because his legendary action was here. Felix, and he didn't do anything after Felix. Fuck! Got it. He just didn't even... So 56 damage, sorry? Yeah. Nope, no way to stop that. Lifting. Neither do I. This doesn't target me. Lifting, you're up. Oh my god.

This is bad news bears. I'm gonna see all the people dropping like flies around me and just run towards the thing that's not terrifying the pants off of me. And I will do three fake hits. You do that. Make attack. I'll see if you hit. Oh, that's not good. That one should hit. 19 plus 9, that is... Does an 18 hit? Nope.

Okay, then only one will hit. You mess, mess, you clang against its horns. One, you get square in the skull. That's so shitty. I forgot what my plus is. Plus five. I don't think I plussed my fives last time. It's an eight.

An eight. Eight damage to number one. - Hey! - Hey! - I walk, I Humpty Dump over and bonk him. - You bonk him and he seems to have no interest in you as it turns and it does a little bit of damage, but it ignores you and it turns, it looks up at its horned master and it sees its true purpose and it turns to the other conduit

lowers his head, horns out, and charges into the condom. - This music is so good. - And it's gonna get a natural 20, and it smashes the condom. - Well, it's been my turn, but I'm unconscious, so it doesn't matter.

So I get an opportunity attack. No, he did it between Iris and Lufty, right? Oh shit. Well, what? No, that's correct. That's all Lufty. Yeah, it's Monsters 1. Lufty just went, so it's Monsters 1. One's dead. Another is smashed. Bursts out. No bit of damage to any of you. And you see a burst of silver. Once again. Caprice! Caprice!

- You feel rage or hatred, I need you to roll a d4 please. - I don't feel any of those things, I'm dead. - You are knocked out. - Unconscious. - You roll the saving throw please. - Yep. - Natural 20. - Oh, let's go. - You up with one health? - No way! - You fucking son of a bitch. - Let's fucking go! - You know what? - You son of a bitch I'm in. - You still have these legs, fuck you. - Yep, yep. - Oh my god. - And so you come to and you feel rage and hatred, I need to roll a d4.

- Yeah, true. - And then immediately I die from one point of poison. - It's a natural 20, no it's one. - I look down and see him growling at my ankles. - It's a one. You feel nothing but anger and rage and you need to hunt. Whatever that means to you is what it means to you. - To hunt? - To hunt and whether it's your former friends, the beasts around you, you need to hunt. And that's all that matters.

Whatever that means to you is what it means. Will use half of my movement to stand up. I've got nothing I can do. This is so bad. Can you stand me up? Yep. One hit point. I have one hit point, and I will look at Baphomet and look at Lufty and look at this creature and look at Toa, and I hate, and I feel the need to consume, to devour

- I'll sing looking at them with this hate in my eyes. - Oh no. ♪ Look at the tiefling, funny tiefling ♪ ♪ Look at little red tiefling acting so fidgety ♪ ♪ Look at the tiefling, funny tiefling ♪ ♪ Look at the tiefling, cute as can be ♪ ♪ Where is his mama, papa, sister, brother, cousin ♪ ♪ Rest of the family ♪ ♪ Little red tiefling on his own ♪ ♪ Some very lonesome tiefling is he ♪ And I will turn into a T-Rex. - What the hell? - Hey!

It's really bad because he doesn't have one hit point anymore. No. Oh dear. Here we go. This is our T-Rex. Yes! I think we're just dead. Holy fuck, is that T-Rex the Beast Flag? Yes.

- I need to roll, okay, you do that. - And I would use my multi-attack to attack Baphomet and Lüfty. - I need you to make-- - We have an action left though, right? - You would-- - Oh no, I wouldn't. - You're right. - No, I would like you to roll a, no, I'm gonna do it. With the Beast Plague, you get an additional action surge, and I'm going to need you to roll a d6.

No, uh, d4, uh, d4, sorry. I'm sorry. It's a 3 if that's... Uh, no, it's gotta be d4. It's gotta be a d4. Yep. 4. That's lefty. Okay. You have to make a bite attack against lefty. I will do that. It's a TPK we weren't prepared for. I honestly don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. Uh, it's a 24 to hit. Does that hit? Yes. Okay. 1 would've been the conduit. 2 would've been, uh, Toa, 3 would've been Baphomet, and 3 would've been, or 4 would've been lefty.

- All right. - Fuck. - Oh, are your spirit guardians gone? - Seven, 11. - I didn't have spirit guardians, I had a weapon, but that's gone now. - Spiritual weapon, sorry. - 17. - My fault, my fault. - 26. - But thank you for reminding me. - And no worries. - You take 33 points of piercing damage, and if-- - Unconscious. - And you're grappled, I guess, automatically. - Bite two. - Yeah, maybe nose, but you know what, we're gonna make it difficult. - You could break his concentration.

I mean, I have to do either a funnel of damage or no. You chomp into him as you see this massive Tyrannosaurus rex emerges and you start to see black fur growing all over and horns start to emerge from this massive reptilian, er, dinosaur creature.

- Okay, okay, okay. - And with that, it is. - It's the big bad strength. - Okay. - It is, isn't it? - Okay. - How does that even make sense? - And it seems. - Okay. - All right, all right, this is, we're not, this is an unsalvageable, we haven't wiped yet. - Don't worry, we have the bromance, they're still alive. - It's not over yet. - It, uh. - It's not over yet. - I don't feel good about this. - Okay, all right, okay.

- I don't know, but I... - That's what we always say, right, Toa? One problem at a time. - I don't like this. - This is not good. - No, we are... - What, you can't die by a fucking T-Rex? - You see... - Unacceptable. - Like the guy in the toilet. - You see Baphomet lower his head and he sees the T-Rex covering more and more black fur as it charges forward into that conduit.

Oh, he's also trying to destroy conduits? Oh, fuck. The northernmost one? Nope, he's going to the one right next to Toa and Lufti. And Felix. Oh, the one that was originally missed. Missed. And he's going to hit that right on. Yep. It is smashed. I need Toa. Lufti automatically fails. That's not Lufti, that's Iris. Iris. So Iris fails him automatically. He's advantaged. Let's see if he hits it. Doesn't matter, he still hits it.

And he smashes it. Felix and Toa, Iris automatically fails and is paralyzed. I'm unconscious. Yeah, so Felix and Toa need to make a constitution saving throw. I would like to twist it. I feel like we both have to. We are both going to twist it. Yes, please.

- How many is one more twist? - Keep twisting until you get it, in my opinion. - I got a 15, but like, what, did he say what it was? - It's probably a 20. - It's only probably a 20. I'd have to roll a 13 or better with one more twist. - Do it, do it, do it. - Wait, I used to, you used to, and we'll see what happens. We need to land this. - That's a 17. - Yeah, oh, total. - Yeah. I mean, I'm just rolling middle of the road here. - How many do we have left?

- Just do it. - Yeah, we've got some change. Let me start counting. - It's a shame that these, my mirror images do nothing against this. - Yep. - That's even worse. - Oh my God. - That's a pass or fail, sorry. - Okay. All right, well thank you, Jack. - Yeah, yeah, we tried, we tried, we tried, we tried. - What'd you get? - A lower than a 17.

I got a 20. 17 was my best. 26. You pass, Felix. You feel it burst. Hold on. I had a 17 and I rerolled to something lower. Correct. So the DC was 18. Oh, then I fell. Okay. Okay. Just want to make sure. It bursts out and you feel the power of the seal. You hear the hoot run out in your head. And you suddenly are...

paralyzed as the conduit is destroyed by Baphomet. And you are paralyzed. And it turns to Toa's turn. And he goes! He has three attacks. He's going to attack Felix at advantage. Goodbye, Felix. Is Paraloid an auto-crit? Oh shit, even with my mirror images?

No, it's not within mirror image. So you can still roll. It could be an auto crit on one of your mirror images. Yeah, okay. So yeah, you got a roll to hit. He's disadvantaged. No, it's auto crit. Fuck. It's not a crit, but he still needs to land the hit, right? Oh yeah, that's true. So mirror image is the only thing that can deal with

the Paralyze, I believe. So if he hits, it's gonna be a crit. - Yes, but you still have to roll with it. - So you need to roll, see if I hit one of your mirror images or you. - Only if you hit me first. - I'm going, I get disadvantaged. I get 20, 26. - Oh, you did it. - So I'm going to make sure-- - You're gonna do regular hits because you would be advantaged 'cause of Paralyze, but then my disadvantage balances it out. - So I'm gonna do two attacks on Felix. So both of them hit.

Okay, so the first one. If I roll a six or higher, the first one will be good. I managed to. Pop! One of my mirror images just pops. One slices into your... Now the next one I need an eight or higher.

- Pop! - And out of your mirror image goes. - They smash into you, you guys. As they smash into your mirror images, three now of conduits are shattered. - There's only two Felix's left. - There are two Felix's left and now there are three conduits that are keeping the seal going.

- We're deep fucked. - There's no way we can, well. - I mean-- - Toa, you're up. To clarify, drinking a potion for ourselves is a bonus action, no matter what the potion is. - Okay. - Full action to administer on someone else. Felix is a lucky son of a bitch. I will immediately, I'll see Felix paralyzed. - I have to use the potty. - Okay. - Okay. - Ooh, full bombs. - You can move.

- Even if I get out of the paralyzed, I basically lose my turn, right? - You're fucked, Dino boy. - Oh, I have a great idea. - If I get up, I'm coming for you.

- Are you unconscious? - What I will do is first, I will rustle around in my pack and pull out two potions. As a bonus action, I will uncork one and drink it and down the potion of speed that I had. I have now hasted for 10 rounds and then no concentration at all. - Oh shit, okay, okay. - I will run up to Iris. Iris.

- Iris, Iris! - I will take a healing potion and say, Iris, Iris! And I will pour, you've never seen the bad Mega Man voice acting? - No. - I'm out of standing. - I'm out of standing. - Every time, you said it, yeah, anyway, we'll watch it. And I will give her just the shittiest healing potion imaginable. - You gotta watch it, someone link in the chat.

- Iris! - Is this 2d4 plus two? - 4d4. - Oh, healing potion is 2d4, yeah. - I'm just gonna roll 2d4. - If not, it's fine, whatever, fuck it. It's a Mikey healing potion. - So that's seven points of healing to Iris. She's up. - Okay. - That's an action. - And I believe my haste action, hold on, my haste action I think can be a use object. So I'm hoping my haste action could have been that.

- You should be able to be. - Let me, let me try something. - 'Cause the only thing with haste is that you can only make two attacks if your first action is an attack. - Oh god, the item's gone. - Other than that, you're like Jimmy Go. - Tell me in fact, quick. - What do you mean, what do you mean? - Uh, haste. - The haste spell? Here. It only says the double attack if your first action is an attack. Otherwise, haste, you're good to go. - All I could hear was, "Haste, haste, haste." - So I'm assuming you did something to me? - Okay, so my haste action will be use an object to use the potion on Iris. - Fair enough. - Okay. - Bye Iris.

I will use the rest of my insane speed to try to get in front of Felix, who's now paralyzed. Felix! Felix! Felix! Felix! Felix! Uh, between, anyway. Yeah, your speed's doubled. And then I will use my full action to make a melee attack. Yeah. Although I'm not sure disadvantage is even worthwhile, but I'm gonna fucking try. Oh, he's gone. And I'm gonna do it recklessly. Okay. Um... Oh shit. Fuck.

And then that will be all I have. Oh, God. I dropped a dime. I'll find that later. I don't think it will. Probably not. Never again. Yeah, that's fun. It's a reaction. It's completely one, two, three. Oh, wow. This is dire. I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. Dee-dee-dee.

How about that? Um, do they all miss? Do I have to hit to do... I feel so impotent. I never like... Can I twist one of these? Yeah. Can you do whatever? Absolutely. Yeah, we've got nine left. Use them. Just because we need one of them. We're deep fucked. Yeah. All right, let's use one of them. There we go. That'll hit. That's a 22 to hit. Oh, it hits. Barely hits.

Yikes. Barely hits. Yikes. Yikes. His AC is 20. I'll give you that. Damn, he monster-less. 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Yeah, magical bludgeoning. Thank you, Matt. You smash into it with your maul, blessed by your wind spirits. What do you do, Toa? Real orgasm in ecstasy because you got another twist.

I'm done, that's it. And my turn ends. Going to use a legendary action. Thank you, Maddy. As he turns around and you see... You see... You did a reckless attack, didn't you? I did do a reckless attack. And you see his bowl-like face, black fur, wild eyes. Legendary action. His eyes start to spiral into circles.

as he casts Maze. - I can't help you, brother, I'm paralyzed. - Caprice, you're the only one that can help. - He's also enraged. - You're a T-Rex? - I'm a T-Rex. - He's a horrible enraged. - I'm a Beastman. - He's mad. - And I'm like, horribly, you can't. - I'm gonna make a saving throw, right? - Nope. Maze's does, there's no saving throw. You're immediately banished to a realm. You are, you see Baphomet's eyes go wild, spiraling, and suddenly your consciousness leaves you.

And suddenly, you hear, and you are in a maze. You are in a labyrinthian demi-plane. Gone. Toad blinks out of existence for all of you. Toad gone. On the bright side, you'll be able to move fast through the maze. Felix! Felix!

You call out and you are in a horrible nightmare fueled scenario of a maze where you are wandering endlessly for eternity until Baphomet drops that concentration. All right, who pissed Mikey off before this? Everyone! What was that, Jif? Everyone! Everyone!

Just whoever lies, no guilt, just apologize. I'm sorry, we don't mean it. I'm never sorry. Okay, how do I break paralysis? What's the... Oh, that's layer action. That was a legendary action, not a layer action. Oh, my fault. Okay, now continue, Mike. He's going to turn and look near the conduit and turn his head and charge into it. Easy as it pans, though.

He still hits. He charges and you see this massive black-furred minotaur smash into it, bursting with energy. - That's great. - Two conduits remain of this seal. - We have not done a good job here. - Oh, this one over here. - Only 100 rounds, LOL. - With that, it is Felix's turn. - Okay, I'm paralyzed, I don't have a break.

At the end of your turn, you make a Constellation saving throw. - That's not very good. So I just lose my turn? - I think just at the end of your turn, it goes away. - Yeah, mine just went away. - Oh, it does. It goes away. - Well then that's it, I lose my turn. - You are paralyzed by this conduit and you-- - I dropped to one knee and I just end up-- - You hear the cooch, an owl, and you feel the power of death looking you up. What was the saving throw on it? What was the saving throw on it? - Six billion?

- What stat? - 22. - Khan. - What was the stat? - Khan. - Because Iris was in the range and you said she automatically failed, but technically Khan, Wisdom and Int, you can still make while you're unconscious, right? Technically? - Oh, that's true. DC's, uh, well... - This matters, right? Whether she's paralyzed or not. - 20. - Pardon me. - Is the DC. - So do you wanna try to see if you were stunned? Paralyzed? - I mean, yeah, obviously. - I believe, Chad, is that correct?

Tell me if I'm wrong. Just roll it, we'll see what happens. That's my understanding. No. No? All right, she's also lost her turn. But you're alive. Oh, well, the-- Yeah, if it's con, no. Almost. Should we toast it? Yeah, just one. Because this is going to make her break the tie. No. Oh, actually, that was kind of con. Oh, I got an idea. No. OK. OK. Lefty, or unless he wants to do some more bullshit.

- That he's out of actions. - Luffy's unconscious. - Yeah, so I'll just make a death save and throw. - I don't do this often. - So you roll? - Just a d20. - Just roll a d20. - It's a d20. - Roll a goddamn d20. - You wanna get 10 or higher. Oh no, so you get a failed save.

I deserved that. There you go. Yikes! I deserved that. You see Monsters 1. That is what you get for me. I never have to do that. I'm sorry, guys. I just don't do this often. You see Baphomet look at the ones of T-Rex covered in black fur. You see two of your comrades down. Toa has been banished to a demiplane. Felix is just coming out of Paralyze.

There's two pillars left. There's two pillars left. Baphomet looks at his one remaining gristro general and lets out this horrible guttural chuckle. And raises Heartseeker and channels into it in a blast, a black beam of energy shoots into it and

It lets out a horrific roar as it bursts into gore and viscera. But it washes over all of you. Oh, less sweet. Except me? Except for you. Well, you're not there. As you are all, except for Toa, overcome with the power of Beast Plague, you all need to make a constitution saving throw at disadvantage. Well. Me too. Bye. Hello, darkness, my old friend. The priest heard you. Yep.

- Do I make one if I'm down? - Okay, I got a 14. - And it's 20? - No, you fail. - I just fail. - It's 20. - 17. - Yeah, I fail too. - Yeah, we all fail. - It bursts into gore and viscera as he channels, he grips his glaive and he lets out a roar of victory. As the ruin remains, the corpse of his Gristro generals shoots over you and all of you who fail start to lock into place.

And you know that Baphomet has won. He lets out a horrible, victorious roar. And suddenly, out of nowhere, you hear a bleat of a goat. My man. My man. And out of nowhere, you see a single shadow.

And a goat leaps into the arena. Oh, let's go. A single halfling with a massive greatsword lunges forward and slams its blade into its eye, breaking its concentration. Toa, you blip back into existence as the...

As Baphomet roars back, all of you, including you, Caprice, are cleansed of Beast's plague as its energy from the heart cleaver starts to dissipate. As Baphomet lets out a roar of anger and hatred, and you see Kargax's halfling form with its massive greatsword in the eye of the beast, look down and say, Venge me in my fields!

as the beast tears him apart. - No! - In half, his intestines being thrown across the room as his goat is once again ripped apart, its intestines as well. Devoured. - That's not very cash money of you. - That is not very cash money. - As the gore

And Viscera fills the room. But Toa, you are freed from your labyrinthian prison. Do I blink back where I was? Caprice, you are freed from the Beast Plague, but you are no longer a Tyrannosaurus rex. Oh man. You blink back. Iris and Lufty, you have been filling with beastial rage. You are now up at one hit point.

I have seven hit points, so can I keep that? Whatever, it will lift his back one hit point. Okay. And you see Kargash as he mounts, Avenge my village! As he is devoured. By the Horned King. His entrails along with his goat, devoured by the beast. Jesus. Freeing you temporarily. I'm back!

And you see the devastation around you blinking back into existence. Two of the fucking conduits remain. And with that, I don't even know who's fucking turned it is at that point. It's Toaster. Perfect timing. You're back.

So I see everyone conscious, breathing, awake, or their eyes are moving. - Not her. - She's up to it. - I'm one point, I am still down. - If you see the two of attack on Titan, it's literally that. - I will immediately rush, trying to basically like block the line between this beast and all of my friends. - Oh, Toa.

Right here is probably what I'm more concerned about, no offense. No offense! And I will say... You won't get through me! You won't hurt my friends! And I will recklessly attack three times. You can do that. 22 AC. One crit, two hits. Oh my gosh. Um...

And then let me check for my Windfury procs to see if I get one. Yep, get one. So that's a free attack there, which is also advantaged. That misses. And then my bonus action I will also use as an attack. - Just tell me how much damage it does total. - Okay, that's presumably a hit, 20 whatever hits, right? - Oh, yep. - So that's four attacks. - Yep.

- One, two, three, four, crit, brutal critical. - Sounded like you were brushing your teeth for a second there. - What a fucking nightmare. - 10, 20. - Let's see if you get to where you need to get. - 30, 36, 40, 41. Sorry, it's not recognizing my fingerprint. So 41.

plus 41, 51, 61, 71, 81, 81 points of damage. Okay. You get blinked back to reality, Toa, as you see Kargesh briefly as you're snapped back, Baphomet pulling the greatsword out of his eye.

now wounded, horribly scarred, blood gushing from the demon lord's face, tearing into the halfling, tearing into the goat, eating, devouring his entrails. You channel the power of the wind spirits. You are one who uses a trance. You don't rage, but now you're fucking pissed.

Now you're angry. You charge forward back from this labyrinthian demi-plane of dread and you charge forward, your tattoos glowing, you leap forward, charging past the bloody intestines of Kargesh and his goat. - Oh my god. - And you leap forward, smashing once, twice, thrice with your massive maul.

the gore and viscera from your halfling friend, distracting the king of beasts, giving you enough time to crack, crack the skull of the manifestation of this demon lord. Stumbles back with the fury of your onslaught. You've done a colossal amount of damage to this creature. It stumbles back

And I'm trying to do everything, like, I'm down in a horse stance, like, I'm trying to kind of be as menacing and scary as possible. It is brutal. And it's going to use this legendary action to turn towards the last of the fifth of six conduits. And it turns.

Which one? And it's going to ignore you. It's eye carved out by Kargash. It's skull cracked as it turns and charges, ignoring you, Toa, desperate for its goal, as if it has some sort of goal, and it smashes into it and clashes, but it's done some sort of damage. Each burst you realize now, all of you realize now, that each burst of this, this silvery magic,

of the conduits is greatly affecting this manifestation of the Demon Lord. The insane power that's had on you is also affecting it. And there's one left. And with that,

When you say that, do you mean he's being negatively affected? Yes. Okay. Absolutely right. It's damaging him. With what I have seen and the great heart with which my good friend has done everything that he can, I'm going to run 30 feet forward. You do that. 5, 10, 15, 20, and do this sweet tuck and roll because I'm kind of stumbling. I just came out of being paralyzed, and I

and I run up to my friend Tela and I'm hobbling and I do like a tuck and roll and as I roll next to my friend Tela, I come up with dagger in hand and I say, "Heads up, Tela, this is all I got!" And I point the dagger at Baphomet and from it, a molten lava ray jumps from the dagger and I need him to make a DC 17 dex saving throw because I cast Disintegrate.

Oh my god. That feels good. I like that. That's a 12. That's gonna be a fail. I would like to borrow two d6s, please. You feel his demonic power attempting to automatically succeed. Resist, but then you hear the hoot of the owl. You feel the power of death that washes over him, and you know that death comes for you all.

Not just you mortals, but even demon lords. He's unable to resist. And you get your roll. It's force damage. Come on, come on, come on, come on. To reroll these bad boys. So that's going to put you in. 10, 20, 30.

30 plus 12 is 42, plus six is 48, plus 40 is 88 points of force damage. - Holy shit. - 88 miles per hour. Now you can go back in time and have flirtations with your mom. - Thank you. - You blast into him. What does that spell feel like?

It looks like a ray of lava. As lava blasts and washes over it, it's one eye, it's black fur is singed, clearly starting to... It lands on the table. Can't get it off. It can't get it off and it's trying to pad it out and you see that everything was decked.

on this gambit by Baphomet. It was not expecting what it's been experiencing. And it seems to be concerned now. With that, it's Iris' turn. - Fuck! I tried so hard! - So close. - Thank you. Thank you for your dice. - You're welcome. - That's all I got. - He's got a lot of health. - That's it, man. That's it. That's all I got. - I am going to... - Went from nothing to a lot. - Stand up.

And where is he at? Yeah, I'm gonna use my feline grace to be able to get to him. Oh wow. And I'm spitting blood all over myself as I reach up and I dig my claws into his fur and I attempt to banish him. Okay. Alright. So charisma saving throw. Charisma. Where the fuck is charisma? Charisma.

24. Fuck. He succeeds. That's my turn. You run up and your claws glow with the, you hear the gong of Anubis as sand washes over him and it starts to constrain him. But he managed to resist. His eyes go more and more wild. And with that, it is Lifty's turn. We should be able to twist the fate of that. Hmm.

- I have to spend half my movement to get up. - You do, you do. - That's such bullshit 'cause I have so much movement and that's not really fair. - No, it should be a flat amount. - It should be a flat amount 'cause I lose so much more. - That fucking sucks. - It does suck. - You lose like half of your base movement or something. - I lose like 25 or whatever. - Except that you get to move so fast all the time. - Well no, hold on, what's your base movement?

- Fuck if I know. - So you only use the half that you have when you get up. So if right now it's only 35 or 40 or whatever. - She has 50. - My speed is 50. - Okay, well then, so now you've lost 25 feet. - You can almost get there. - Then you can dash as a bonus point for a ki point if you choose to.

Which would give you... I have one hit point. Yeah, we're all in. So get on in there, sport! Give him the old... Give him the old business! The razzle dazzle! Well, it's a key point. You should have a good deal of key points, though. I do, I have a ton of them. For a key point, you get the rogue, like, fleet footwork or whatever it is. Yeah, you get to use...

- A cunning action, that's what it is. - Yeah, it's really a cunning action. - It's a dash, hide, or some other bullshit on your turn as a bonus action. - Oh, step of the wind, that's what it is. - How can he see with car gash in his eyes? - I had it too soon, man. - Too soon. - All right. - Too soon. - So that's a bonus action. - Okay. - Bonus action, yeah. - I will strike him.

Twice with my spoon. Okay. I'll wind up and smack smack. And this will be... Okay, this is my first attack on him, I think. Okay, I got a 16 plus 9 and a 17 plus 9. What's his... They're both those half 25 points. I got him. He's at like a 22. I see.

22 is the AC. Give him the old peach wobbler. That is disgusting. Enjoy the wobbler. He can't move a kneecap. The eaters!

Okay. It reminds me of that horrible foot fungus commercial way back in the day where the animated creatures walk up to a giant toe and open it like a fucking carpet. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop! You're causing real life psychic damage! Stop! It's the worst commercial. It's 30 points of damage, nine of which are thunder.

Thunder! All of us the same, 30 points, so that is-- oh my god. You slam and slam. I'm sorry, six. I was wrong. It's fine, I'm gonna-- whatever. You smash and smash with a spoon your fist. You think of your mother as your friends are bloodied and broken. All these conduits, you were trying to save the world, you just think

of your mother, Alkyra the Thunderfury. And all you wanna do is make her proud, make her sacrifice for a thund-- And you smash and smash and Baphomet looks incredibly weak as it-- Now without one eye, blood streaming down his face, one more conduit, it looks at you, Caprice,

One conduit pass you, it stamps its foot, ready to smash into it if you, depending on what you do. - This is a DPS check right here.

Oh good, we're leaving it up to the bard. I used my crossbow for 1d4! I'm on, I'm like almost gonna pass out, I'm on the verge of death. I've had way too many emotions today. I am hurting and I am so pissed off at this creature. I hate what he's done to my friends and to me and what he's trying to do to the world.

I'll start to walk forward just a few steps. You do that? Five feet. And I'll thing.

You bastard, you coward, you liar, you sod, you two-faced, backstabbing, trash-sucking fraud. You can't compete with me. You're fucking screwed. You can call me Caprice. Now, who the fuck are you? If I became a blacksmith, I'd be making a fucking fortune because of all these flaming hot bars I'm always forging. Just hearing my words will take you to another level. You know, the one where it's hot and you can meet the devil's?

You feeling tired because it's dire? I spit hot fire and I got you haywired in my crossfire on a funeral pyre so you should retire before you expire. Don't believe me? Just ask my friends. They're inspired. Now take some chicken, put some cheese on there and some lettuce and that's a wrap. And I'll tap synaptic static on...

- My hat is off to you, my friend. - He needs to make an intelligence saving throw. - Intelligence for the queen. - God, I love Derek as a bard. - Minus two? - That's a fucking wrap. - And that's a four. And that's a wrap.

His brain explodes. His brain, like, fucking explodes. I do 8d6 damage to him. Do I have to roll it, or is he fucking gone? Alright, 2, 4, 6, 8. Wow. Wow. Kino. Kino. 5, 8, 10. That's a wrap.

21, 27, 26, 27 points of psychic damage. - This gray matter leaks out every orifice in his head. - And I... - No.

I want his horns, if he dies, to fucking just fall off of his face and for him to just peel like a banana as he crushes down into the ground. You're never going to believe me. I don't. You step forward as you talk and talk and rap and you...

You think about your friend, you think about Herja in her bed, you don't know if she's living or dead with the maze, the labyrinth erupting around her bed and you feel the presence behind you, the voice, breath against your neck and you hear the voice do it. And you do.

And you hear a horrible roar as Baphomet, the manifestation of the Horned King, turns towards the final conduit. You see it snorts and stomp its hoof, and sort of... A trail of blood falls from the nostrils, then the ear. And then a bit of quiet returns and you hear a flash...

of energy, you see gold erupt above you. As Baphomet stomps forward, looking at the conduit ahead of him, Iris, Lufti, Caprice in the way, it reaches out with Heartseeker, lowering its head, and above you, you see the flash. In an instant, you look up and you see the golden scales of Hizaki.

Vakiran, and on his back, you see four individuals grabbing onto Reyn's, the white and black fur of golden lotus. Leaping off the back is Shenguro Frostfang, the blue-skinned orc with tendrils coming down with his glaive. And you see two more individuals on the back of this creature, two dwarves.

You see Torvalds and Herja Andelhard gripping on for dear life. And you hear the booming voice, the booming voice of the Warchief as he calls out, "Give me an opening! One strike is all I need!" He calls out to the five of you. Loosen the goddamn pickle jar for him. What do you do? Toa, what do you do?

- As far as like what actions do I have in combat or? - What do you do to give Warchief Shangoro Frostfang an opening as he comes down with the glaive of the seven laws and I will allow you to be as creative as you fucking want. - I would take my, hold on one second. It's cold, hold on, sorry.

- What is Ciaran again? - It is a celestial being that is almost like a deer, horse, unicorn, dragon. - I picture it like that never ending story thing. - It's a little dogish, but it's mostly kind of a deer, dragon, horse-ish. - Okay. - And he's very chipper.

- Okay. - Ow, that hurt! - Hey, he says hey everybody! - He looks down. - I remember him, but I couldn't say what he was. - This was fun! - So I will, wounded, seeing my friends, and he looks, you know, I can see the Baphomet's weakened, but I understand what's happening. And I'll say, I don't have any strength left.

Maki, do what you can, keep him in place! I think his name was Maki. So there's a little curated bracelet with a shark figurine in it, and my bracelet of the surging shark, there will be, from that shark, that sort of blue carved shark medallion, water will start to materialize from my hands and turn into a large water shark, and he is going to swim and try to like,

sort of almost consume Chomp and consume like his... - You hear the splash of what sounds like a wave crashing on the shore. You see a shark made of seawater splash against this horned king. And you see a massive shark with the eyes raging of vengeance, the spiritual power of Toa smashing against his massive jaws, opening, chomping down. The sacrifice.

of Kargash. Toa is now called upon as spirits and you see swirling shark made of sea water making it easier for you, Felix.

Provide an opening. Seeing my opening, dagger in one hand, open hand in the other, I'll clap my hands together, touch the ground, and a silver transmutation circle will appear around Baphomet. Silver chains will sprout from the transmutation circle as I cast Hold Monster at 5th level on Baphomet.

You do that. Normally it would require a... Normally it would, but this is cool-ass shit right now. Yes, a silver chain sprout from the... As you understand, as Toa's giving you the opening, the one of this four spirits clamps down the power of the sea and the wind. Everything he's given his life for swirls around, holding it in place, waiting for you, Felix, his best friend. And you channel it. And...

Four massive silver chains connects to the Horned King as it attempts to try to break itself free from the hold of the shark, smashing the final conduit, trying to finish its goal. And it can't. It snorts. It roars. It stomps. And the magic you've learned

The training that you've gotten, the people you've killed, has all been for the power to do this. And you hold the Horned King in place. Iris, you're up.

- I will use my staff to make a scarabnado. - A what? - A scarabnado. - I love that. - I was gonna mention Brenda Fraser, but I'm only Vice. But you Iris and correct me if I'm wrong in this intention, but you take the staff that you've held this entire time. You've doubted.

the judgment of Virgil Zurn. But you've never doubted the gift he bestowed upon you, his private collection that he saw fit to bestow upon you despite all of your differences. Multiple, numerous differences. And you take this staff, a green,

a chitin scarab at the head. And you, directly above you, you shove your staff up. It strikes its chest and suddenly a swirling, swirling, swirling storm of insects. - Swirls.

- Let me get to that. Horrific drone as he's swallowed by sea water, held in chains and now engulfed in the drone of scarabs devouring its flesh, eating its black fur as it attempts to break free but continues to be imprisoned every single step of the way. - Lofty. - I...

So I am going to, with my very last hit point of health, I am so weak, but I'm still going to raise my spoon up.

And it might look like I'm falling against him, but I am indeed doing it intentionally. I will brace against him with my spoon and try to hold him in place with the last strength of my hand. - As a shark made of seawater, the power of Virgil's urn and a tornado of scarabs swirls around Bathamat, you see that its life is no longer the important thing.

Its wild labyrinthian eyes lock onto the conduit and it turns and it lowers its head, it stomps its feet. It snorts and it tends to charge forward. You leap up and block against it with your spoon. Holding against it, you slide back only inches.

sliding back, holding it as the scarabs, the shark, the chains hold it back, knowing that above you is the only hope that you have of banishing the Horned King back from whence it came. Caprice, it is up to you. What do you do? - I will finish my wrap and...

You're like, you're going to want some tortilla with the lettuce and the chicken and the cheese and the... You're fucked, asshole. Bye. Phantasmal force being what it is, I want the images that I've seen him kill. All the beast men that I've ever seen in...

The experiences that I've had in Striga, miniature versions of them are crawling up his fur and tearing out patches of it as they go in vengeance with anger in their eyes so that he can see the victims to gain their vengeance against him as he will in hell. - Damn. - Lufti holds back the charging might of Baphomet, the Horned King, the leader of the Horned Legion.

The force you've been waging war against for as long as you've been in Striga, as Toa's shark, Felix's chains, Iris's swarm of scarabs aids in preventing him from charging forward to smash the final conduit, and you feel a presence behind you. You look up.

It's not them. You look to your left, to your right, to your friends. It's not them either. You hear and feel the hot breath on your neck. You hear the voice. The roar of the bowl lets you hear. Finish it! And you do. You suddenly strike a resonant chord on your violin.

And everything that Baphomet's been doing, all the rage against the magics of your friends, holds him in place. And suddenly, something in his savage, cunning brain breaks. And his eyes go wide, not with the dispelling magics of the labyrinths of the mazes.

His bestial bull-like ears flow with blood. His eyes flow with blood. His nostrils flow with blood. His mouth fills with blood. His brain truly breaks. And he simply looks upward and attempts one final roar of the bull, but no roar is left. A simple guttural groan as he heaves his head back,

And that is the only opening that all of you have provided that Warchief Shingoro Frostfang needs. He's leaping from the Kirin Mount that he has, the glaive of the Seven Laws in his hands. He lunges forward, and he makes his final strike, and as soon as this weapon

forged from law and good and death strikes the neck of this beast. Baphomet lets out a pained, gurgling roar, and it is no longer powerful. It is weak. The hunter has become the hunted. The beast has become the prey, and it is a helpless fawn.

as Shingoro Frostfang slides down the glaive, cleaving from the chin all the way from the throat to the chest, from the gut as his entrails spill out as its form struggles to hold shape. But it is too late. And as you see Warchief Frostfang slicing through the flesh of this beast,

as if it was nothing. You also see his long life catching up to him. You also see his life force leaving him. You see his strengthened flesh hollowing to a shell as he gives everything, the soul and the silver of the blade, everything he has to give. It bursts in silver and gold and caprice.

You feel a pull in yourself as you hear the hoot of an owl, a blade forged from an ancient line, a Soul Blade used to defeat foes far more powerful than Baphomet, but in this instance, it'll do. When Warchief Frostfang arrives at the bottom and lands at the ground, cleaving the entire minotaur down the center,

His blade smashes into the ground. And he realizes too late. As Baphomet, the Horned King, looks at all five of you, all six of you, Sengoro Frostfang, with wild maddened eyes, explodes into gore. Nothing left, but it's not over. As you hear a horrific roar. As he sniffs.

All of you. All five of you. "My wolf promised! He has betrayed me! You bear his chains!" "I have been betrayed." And he explodes into gore. You're all bathed in viscera and blood as the beast is destroyed.

But you see, as Shangoro Frostfang lands, his knees on the ground, his glaive coming to a rest in the seal. He cannot move. He's too weak. His long life catching up with him. And he realizes the power of this beast pulled into the Silverblade.

But not only that, as soon as he lands in the spiraled seal, the final conduit shatters. And the power within that final seventh seal breaks. And sucks into the blade.

and bursts out, every single one of you blasted by the power of death itself, the power of the land itself, the power of Striga herself. I'll just remove my last mirror image. I bind all of you to make Charisma saving throw a disadvantage. No chance.

Felix has a charisma of a rock. I'm going to use my key point for my lucky to remove the disadvantage. Two key points, excuse me. A disadvantage? I got a natural 20 and then I got a 13. So good game. What did you say, charisma? Fuck. 13. Okay, I've got a 10. 10? 13? 16. 10? 10.

Three. Thrice. Quiet falls over the chamber as Baphomet, his avatar at least, explodes into gore. You're all that's left. You're all that's left. As Warchief Shingoro Frostfang lands, the glaive seven laws slamming into the seal. Surprise and anger coming to his face as his age catches up to him.

You see the wrinkles and then the hollowing of his life force as it draws itself into the blade. And he looks up. You wits!

As the final conduit breaks, and you are all slammed. You all got less than a 20, right? Yep. Oh, yeah. You are all paralyzed as you hear the feet of the owl. Don't, don't. With the power of death. Are you rich? And you see the orc, his long tendrils, shriveling, wilting.

Aging 100, 200 years in an instant. God damn. As his eyes begin to roll back, a single figure lands to the ground. You see a tabaxi. It's not Iris. Golden Lotus. Looks around, surveys the aftermath of the battle. And she reaches down to hold the face of

of Shangoro Frostfang whom she's kept alive for so long, and she looks down with love. There is a sense of love and appreciation there in a sick kind of way. It's real held as you hear the hooting, and it reminds you of everything you dealt with in Erios, but far stronger and you don't know why. But the seal has been broken.

Sweet. Sucked into the glaive. Fuck. And she looks down at Shingoro Frostfang as he looks... As he gives his last breath, and she holds his face, making his passing a little bit easier, as he perspires, his age finally catching up to him. And her voice rings out, You have fulfilled your destiny.

My warchief. He collapses to the ground. Lifeless. Just like Baphomet. She stands in the room looking about you. All. Five of you. Capri, something pulling at your soul. You've given up something. You have no idea the extent. But you know you fucked up. Real bad. And the pull on your entire being in this weapon. The Debaixi now picks up.

holding it. A weapon truly for a humanoid of her size. But then she casts her feline eyes towards Heartcleaver, the massive glaive of the Horned King. Far larger, completely unwieldy for any mortal of your size. The power of Beastplague. And she smiles. I thank you all. You've all performed your duties quite well.

Just as it was foretold by the six-eyed hawk. My path, my fate has led me here. And you see, as she looks, attempting to pick up this massive glaive, she starts to grow in size as her back gets larger. I will not forget your sacrifice. And you start to see as her eyes, her large feline eyes,

A golden feline turns almost reptilian as they glow into a gold as her body shifts from white and black fur to scales. As suddenly her tabaxi form begins to shift in shape into a draconic shape. Golden scale, massive wings, long neck, horns, horns.

and brilliant eyes of gold. As she gets larger and larger and larger, as she leans forward and where you had seen a tabaxi, it's no longer a mere mortal. An ancient golden dragon stands before you. As she reaches forward, one hand gripping a tiny glaive now at this point,

but reaching forward and snatching the weapon of the king of beasts, the horned king himself, as she reaches up her neck and calls out to Hisaki, Go to my lair now, my love. And Hersha and Torvald look down, submissive as hell,

They look at all of you and just simply nod. And Kizaki, the Kirin, says, Of course! My love, my queen, my goddess! We will wait till you return! In the flash of gold, he's gone. Along with her, Jentor vaults. And the massive dragon surrounding you beats her golden wings as she grabs the glaive of the Seven Laws and the Heart Cleaver.

And she looks at all of you and says, "You have all allowed for the ultimate weapon to be forged, allowing the Eternal Blossom, Rajani, the Eternal Blossom, my will to spread across the entire continent. Thank you for fulfilling your destiny and fulfilling mine.

And with a single beat of wings, the ancient golden dragon erupts out of the shattered chamber of the seventh seal. Thar's dunes holds weaken as a golden dragon, golden lotus, Rajani, the eternal blossom, flies off to her own goals.

And that is where we'll end the session. I feel dirty. You would think we wouldn't get duped by another dragon. It's in our nature. Like, you would think. It's in our nature. Holy shit. Richie knew that it was a dragon almost immediately. No, this episode. This episode's when I finally thought of

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