Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 37 | The Webs They Weave: Part 1
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Welcome to Legends of Evantris. I'm Iris, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time.

Well, unless anything goes horribly fuck-jingled in limbo, we should be fine. What looks like a group of creatures, it's hard to tell. They're all wearing hoods. We see scaly hands raising their hands to the sky. You see them all praising a massive statue of a hideous-looking toad monster. You all hear a voice in your mind. Yes. More sacrifices coming for my mind.

The rod. And no, you may not have the rod. This is the artifact that allows me to master what Primus himself could not. You are powerless compared to my mind. Now see what it looks like to have unlimited power.

- He is completely boiled alive. As his veins pop, as you see, feel his eyes rage with fire, his arms, he's now engulfed in flame. A piece no more than seven inches long. A silvery, bronzy color. And it almost like hums with light. You guys did it! With a flash of gold, you see,

The blossoms. You look down, you see the crystal clear water. You are in the grove of the eternal blossom. Oh my goodness, you're all alive! What took so long? How long has it been? How long do you think it's been? An hour, two hours? An hour and a half, maybe? Two hours? You've been gone for a week? Yeah. The Horned Legion is almost here. Yeah. Blinked into reality, back to the prime material plane. Yeah.

From the horrors, the chaos of limbo, swarms of slottie, blue, green, red, black, were all chasing after you. However, Hizaki, the Kirin, was far too fast, and you managed to barely escape. You see ahead of you, Golden Lotus in her golden robes, that same dragon-headed glaive,

She has been measured, incredibly measured, the entire time that you've known her here. However, there is a look of genuine concern, however slight it is on her face, as you all realize and remember that you've gone through a horribly trying experience through a vicious, chaotic plane. And she looks at all of you and says, "How much time do you think has passed?"

It's only been a couple hours. Is it right now? Yeah, like two at the most, I'd say. Are we talking like normal goodbye terms or like the Yona goodbye terms? It has been a week. Oh, well, then yeah, that's about Yona. That's about Yona time frame. Yep. Yep, I'd say so. A week? I think we would know if it's been like a whole week, you know? Well, it has been a week. I've been sitting here for seven days, meditating and waiting for your return.

We've done it. That sounds like a personal choice. It is all that can save our land. You sitting here and waiting for us for a week. I had faith that you would survive. I knew that I would know if Hizaki had died. So if he was alive, surely you were too.

Great. Then it seems this should be a joyous occasion, as you've been sitting here for a week, and we are now, we've now arrived. Yes? Did you retrieve the piece of the rod? Yes, we did. Who has it? Do we know who has it? I'm in the corner using it like... I'm sorry, using it how? Adam Sandler style, just... I don't even know what that means. You put it between your legs and you pretend it's a giant penis. It's hilarious for everyone. Oh, he's like, me...

Welcome back, everyone. It's hilarious for everybody. I guess Caprice has it. I don't know. I was definitely not the one who was responsible for that. Yeah, that's a great question, actually. I don't really think so. I would bet my money would be on Tela. Let's just say. Oh, hey there, Raheem. You all right, Felix? Yeah. You can't just scream like that any time you want. No, no, no. I mean, we did just go through limbo. Tela, don't.

Just put it back. Put it back in your bag. She needs it. Toa! Just, just, just put it... I will take it. It will be fine in my hands. Pietro, shh. It's fine. It's fine. No. No. Toa, just hang on to it for now, alright? I think I'll hang on for it. I will be hanging on for it right now. If Felix is telling you to hang on to it, then you should hang on to it. I will hang on to it for right now. How has a week passed? That's not possible.

There was always a chance of this happening. The time in limbo does not flow the same way that it flows in our plane. In all of my studies and meditation on the planes, I knew the least about the plane of chaos. It does not shock me that only four hours would pass in your time, but a week would pass here. We are fortunate it was not more. We are fortunate that at the outer wall,

Thousands of soldiers died, but they held off the Prince of Beasts and his army for far longer than we had expected. A true blessing and a gift from the Eternal Blossom. Well, bravo! Where's the Legion now? Are they still at the Wall? They're here? They are two days away by our best estimations. I want to know...

how you got the other six pieces, and I want to know every detail, and you better not lie to me. We do not have time for all of these details. I can tell you that it was not...

I, who collected the pieces. He's Akil. And you see the Kirin, the draconic deer horse creature, prance around, looking very happy, overjoyed. And he goes, I...

I got all seven. I got all seven. I went around the plains and finally, thank you friends. Thank you friends because I got the seventh piece. Finally the eternal blossom will love me and return my affections. This is the happiest day of my life. And he lets out a strange whinny that sounds like wind chimes as he gallops and prances around. - Oh, you charming creature. How many eyes does the eternal blossom have?

Oh, well, I haven't seen her, but I have heard her voice. And she, I know that her eyes are large and beautiful and golden. I have seen it in my imaginations. And when you've heard them blink, do they sound like they blink twice or six times? What does a blink sound like? Well, what are we going to do? I think it would be like, or...

You see him, like, as he starts to go cross-eyed, as he blinks as quickly as he can. Oh, no. I don't hear any blinking when I blink. We can all hear it, I promise. But we owe you many tears. You have really good ears. I mean, that's true, but what I'll say is, thanks for...

Helping us not get killed in the plane of limbo? I mean, that was really close out there. Yeah, that was very cool of you. Well, if you guys all died, then I would die because I would have failed my mission, I couldn't get the final piece, and then the Eternal Blossom wouldn't love me, and then life isn't worth living at that point. Well, what's so, like, special about the Eternal Blossom's love?

Oh, she has the most beautiful voice and her song is enchanting and she is so wise and good and she cares about unity and peace and harmony and order. It's so noble. I care about like most of those things. So, and I think we all do. Yeah. Oh yeah. I like those things. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So like we're like six, six eternal blossoms. I'm sorry. I'm spoken for. Oh, okay.

Does she provide you with positive reinforcement when you're going to these pieces since you've got no seven now? Yes! I cannot wait to hear her voice! You know what? I will go right now to where I hear her and where I've seen glimpses. Thank you, friends. Well, can we come with you? No, it is private. Only I am allowed. I am chosen. Hold on. What if I give you... I'm ranging through my pack. I pull out a piece of beef jerky.

- If I give you the axe. - Ooh, thank you. He leans forward. - Only if we come with you. - Is it just straight jacks? - Yeah. - Oh, 16? - You see as the fastest creature you've ever encountered. - He's packed! - Is no match for your dwarven leaf or whatever.

It's like, it's like, poof! Ha! No, it's literally a blur, and then you're hooked. Got me there, pal. It is gone. Oh, no. Oh, thank you. I am going to go to her great mountain.

You hear a crash and a blur of gold, almost like a thunderbolt flying through the air as the Kirin takes off. And you see faint glittering gold following his trails, it gently falls down. And you see him rocket through a cloud off into somewhere he brought.

Did we write that? Lufty. Yeah? I know it has been a long time since your- Since you've had me? Your nightly jaunts away from our hotel rooms. But Akiran! Were you honestly trying to sleep with Akiran? No! That's disgusting! I don't even really know physically how that would work. I mean, I could figure it out given enough time. I'm done here. Excuse me. I'm in shock.

I'm ashamed. I just thought maybe we could, like, you know, tempt him into our side. I know how you tend to think it's lifting. A killer. I can always give you some more jerky. I do love jerky. Well, golden lotus. Yes. It is for the... It is for the future of not just...

Mok'kai, not just of Grond and the Orcs of the Dancing Blade. It is for the future of all of Striga, and perhaps the world. How do you even know how to use it? I have been given visions. I have been... I have seen... I have been told by the Eternal Blossom.

I mean, the Beast Army's two days away. How can we delay if millions could die, like she said, the entire world? These visions, when you put the rod all together, it means the end of the threat, but how do we get from putting it together to them being... My question is this. Why were they broken apart in the first place?

There must be some reason all of these pieces have been hidden in vast areas all around the multi-births. So why, all of a sudden, do they need to be combined for what reason? And how do we know that their appearance in Evandris doesn't have something to do with the appearance of these demonic creatures? You have proven yourselves valuable.

Oh, that should be enough. Yes, please! *laughs* *laughs* *laughs*

This knowledge to anyone do not share. I swear it. I do not demand that you kneel. I do not demand that you disavow Virgil Zurn. But should he learn this information, all hope will be lost. Well, as long as Anubis is included in this circle, then I am fine. I respect gods of order. And so, yes.

I will permit that. Wait, I think Mordred's a god of order, right? Yes. Okay. He's lawful good. Okay, that's just what I thought. Okay, just making sure. I have only seen glimpses. There was a war of chaos versus order before the mortal races, before many of the gods and devils. It was in this battle where the prince of all demons

was struck down by the Wind Dukes. This prince of demons was so powerful, it was able to subjugate the chaotic nature of all other demons that we know it. This entity was so ancient, so terrible, that it was a type of demon of which there were only a small handful. And the entire fate of the world was in the balance. A rod of pure law.

was all that could stop the destruction. When it struck this prince, Miska the Wolf Spider, its demonic blood coated the rod and shattered it. Miska was defeated. The war was over. But after recent happenings, perhaps the war was simply put on hold.

That is all I know. Well, that answered the majority of the questions that I posed to you, so I'm satisfied. Felix? Yeah, I don't know. If I'm being honest, I've got a lot more questions than we have answers. And I just... How do you intend to use the rod? What are you going to do with it? She...

slightly turns her head, and she looks back at the, you remember the bewillow fronds that had covered the entrance of this secret glade hidden within Mogokai, and she turns back and says, The Warchief has been preparing his entire unnaturally long life for this moment. We will reforge it, fashion it into a weapon, and Warchief Frostfang

will put an end to Baphomet's reign on this plane. And how long has the Walsh Inc been alive? It has been nearly a century. How could he have been preparing his entire unnaturally long life for this moment if it is only recently that Baphomet arose? I was told of great calamity when I was in Yulong. I came here many decades ago. I met him when he was just a boy.

So, we give you the piece of the rat, you reforge it, he wields it, and he succeeds. Then we get it back. If it survives the process... It has to! We need it! Is that what you would like? That's without a doubt. We must have it. And what will you use it for? We have other business with it. It doesn't matter. There are lots of demons around...

We know that we need the rod to save the angel. You recall that, yes, it was a chaos corruption of some kind. And the only way to stop it is to use the rod. To stop it was to use the rod, and the rod was also critical in, at least the angels, the Wind Dukes surmised, in dealing with the Chain God. If the Chain God were to be freed. Have you heard of this misker, the Wolf Spider, before?

Either of you. It doesn't ring a bell. And it's the prince of all demons, is that right? Was. It was deposed, defeated. In that moment, there was a great flash of power. And Misca was not there once everyone was able to see what was happening. And the prince lost his control over all of the other demons.

So, surely he is defeated, slain, banished. It matters not. Well, if he has lost control over the other demons, is there someone who's claimed control over the other demons? There is... There is no control over demons. This, the type of creature that Miska the Wolf Spider was, was something older than any demon lord such as Baphomet.

Baphomet is a mere child compared to the entities that came through from another world, another dying world. A name for their kind I fear to speak. Can you write it down? You can write it on my back.

I have parchment. She would have to shave your back first. Well, I know, I mean, like, use my back as, like, a table, because I'm short. We need to stop sharing forbidden knowledge amongst ourselves. Every time somebody learns something new and we're not supposed to speak it, we're putting ourselves at risk. This is indeed forbidden. I want to stress, I have scoured the library's

all the books of Aventress and can find no utterance of this. It was only the visions of the Eternal Blossom that has given me this knowledge. Wait, wait, you mean this knowledge isn't anywhere on Aventress? Not that I have seen. Maybe she should write it down. Has that changed his tune yet? Nothing permanent, I will tell you. Okay.

Do not write this down. No, we would never! What? I don't know why I did that. Are you sure it's safe to speak? It is not the name of a particular lord, so their kind, speaking their kind, should not bring calamity. An ancient being from a dying world. The demons before demons existed. The Obereths.

All of the demons that you now face, Baphomet, his kind, anything that you have fought before is what is called a Tenari Demon. But that distinction is irrelevant. For I know not of more than a dozen that still exist. So you're saying that there are Oberith demons and Tenari demons? Yes.

Demons as you know it are simply the Tenari. They are the ones that still exist and thrive. But they were not the original. Where are these Oberith ones then? How are they still alive? I do not know if they are still alive. They were defeated in that great chaos war. But I have not, I have not heard or seen from the Eternal Blossom, if any still remain,

Baphomet should be nothing compared to the power of the rod if it was able to defeat an Oberith, the prince of the Oberiths. And this prince wolf spider guy, he was one of the O's or was he one of the T's? One of the O's, if you mean. Yeah, I'm just trying to shorthand it in case, you know, we summon some sort of horrible nightmare. Sigh.

That sounds very scary and threatening indeed, may I please? As far as I am aware, the war saw the destruction of all of them. If any survived, it would have been the various lords that were able to escape the bloodshed and flee and bide their time. But if any survived, I do not know. I only know what the Eternal Blossom tells me. Hmm.

What about the information that you shared is so secretive that we can't tell Zurn? Because someone of Zurn's ambition will stop at nothing until the world is destroyed. You must not trust him. I can feel his power over you already. Why would we not trust him? We're his wings.

We're the reason that we're here in the first place. I have already showed you his treachery. While the Horned Legion has marched through and ravaged our nation, the Korovakian military has followed behind. They are conquering our country. Oh, that's right. As we speak, we are unable to repel them. We did not attack while they were being ravaged by the Horned Legion. We can fix this. It doesn't have to stay this way. It doesn't have to be this way.

It's a good poem. You're right, it does. But the will of Virgil Zurn, as long as it is his own, there will be nothing but war. This is how things go, is how it always happens time and time again. But we will stop it. We might be able to talk to him. I mean, we're the wings. That's right next to the ears where we can whisper non-war times, let's speak. Where do you put your wings?

Where do I put my wings? Are they on your head? No, they're like, you know, pretty close. They're closer than the legs. I don't know. That's true. But further than the arms. Further than the arms. It's about the same distance between my chest and my legs and my back where I would put my wings. But if it's a bird, the wings are the arms. Is this important when there are armies marching on this place right now?

I'm trying to give you the Rod of Love, but I'm scared to. How about this? We give it to you, and you will help you defeat Bethamat, but as soon as that's done, you return it to us. I just look to Iris. I'll look back at you and just stare at you. This is your choice.

We can also make a deal. We can stay with... We will escort the seventh part of the rod, and we will assist with the forging. I mean, Harcha here, she worked in a forge. Oh, yeah, she's very cool. We'd be happy to assist and witness the creation of this powerful weapon against all things. It has already been foretold you will be part of the ritual to reforge the rod. Does that...

Oh, why?

You are all horribly tainted by limbo. I can feel the chaos over you all. Well, then we'll just hold on to the rod until we're no longer tainted. It's not limbo that you're smelling. But... Perhaps... Perhaps she's right. Perhaps...

If she's willing to let us take part, why don't we just give it to her? Well, that doesn't make sense, does it? If we need to take part in it, then they can't start it without us. So whether we're tainted now or tainted later is irrelevant. They still have to wait for us to be untainted to perform the ceremony, so we might as well deliver the rod to the ceremony. It will require an evening of preparation with all seven parts of the rod for it to be reforged.

We will lose a knight, and we perhaps will lose our only opportunity to reforge the Rod of Law and save the people. And if we had returned a day later? Then we would have been doomed.

That's not good. Just so I understand. It seems too convenient. What you're saying is we have to separate from the rod so that you can prepare it for the process of being into the law rod, and then we have to go get untainted? Yes, we will purify you in our hot springs. Well, that does sound nice. It does make me a little nervous, Felix. I agree.

She's right, they've been... They've been honorable. They didn't attack Korovokia when Befomet was at the walls of... of... of... Zintra. And look at what Zurn's done! He's... he's... an opportunist! This country has far more honor than Zurn ever did. And I'm willing to trust... her over... anyone else, frankly, at this point.

Well, hold on. That rod has been in limbo longer than we have. What's to say that's not tainted too? Maybe we need to dip it in the bath with all of us together. Did you see the power of the simple piece of the rod while in limbo? You could argue that limbo was tainted by it. You've put us in a position where we really can't say no. Yes, I have. So I commend you on that.

Either way... The Eternal Blossom is very wise. T'oh, I just want to say that this is... This is way more beyond Coravacchia and Garand and all of this. It's not about honor anymore. This is so far beyond that. So we'll turn over the rod. That's fine, if that's what all y'all decide. But if all of a sudden the rod goes missing, or we don't get the rod after all this is over, we're gonna have problems. I understand that. But...

I will say that if you have concerns about the future of the Rod of Law, once Baphomet and the Horned Legion are defeated, you are speaking to the wrong person. And her eyes will go to Caprice, and then back to you. All I'm saying is that Limbo sent me back to a person that I didn't want to be anymore, and I'm not so sure I let go of that person.

You are all feeling stressed. Your tranquility is gone. Chaos has tainted you. It will not be long until you transform into Sloddy yourself if we do not stop this process. Your emotions are wild. Your emotions are chaotic. Why don't you leave? We're feeling quite fine, actually. Most of them have been in a long time. Though I'm a little distressed. That's my...

new friend, acquaintance really, Lufti, wanted to sleep with a Kirin. Aside from that, you know. Do you want me to sleep with you? No. I would like to sleep on top of you if we are required to sleep on the ground yet again. I think we should do the spa because I do, now that you mention it, feel a little squirmy.

Were we egged? I don't want to be egged. I'm too young to be egged, frankly. You've been egged many times in your life. What are you guys talking about, egged? I'm confused, too. The frogmen. You have the taint of limbo on you. We will take you to our terrace, the eternal hot springs, and we will purify you.

I will guide the process. You will be at peace. You will experience tranquility. You will be cleansed. The power of pure water. Out of curiosity, does Chief Frostfang go to these paths? Yes, of course. We all do. Great. Let's do it. I'm just going to put my hand on Toad's shoulder and just nod. I'll leave it at Felix and I'll say hi.

You're right, this isn't about honor anymore, but it is about doing the right thing. We're gonna fix it. I promise. I know that this is the right thing. And I will take the rod and clasp it. I love it when he's so sure of himself. And she takes a very intricately woven piece of silk and she wraps it up very gently and places it within her robes. Thank you.

You have saved our people. You have saved yourselves. And you have perhaps saved the world. Can I see the rod real quick, just for one thing, and then I'll get it right back. I'm gonna just, like... All right, just hold on. I will guide you now to the hot springs, where we will begin the purification ritual. Were you going to use it as your turgid manhood?

Yeah. I sued. Is that what the Vince song is?

Next time. Once it's all forged, it'll be bigger, right? Yes, it will be. I'm ready to be detainted. Untainted? Cleansed. Oh, cleansed. Why are we not just saying cleansed? I don't have the same vocabulary as you do. I'm sorry. Unbelievable. I would like the taint to be removed, please. It can't go mountain high enough, in my opinion. Can't go mountain high enough. Please follow me. Please leave the way. And you all follow...

You'll follow Golden Lotus, that same rich smell of saffron about her. As you make your way through her shrine, you see the large offering bowl with all of the rubies, a small horde of gems and rubies and other strange trinkets. As you make your way out, she guides you through the city of Mogra Kai.

And you stare off into the distance. You see the great serpent spine mountains and the mountains that effectively surround this entire nation. And you see off in the distance plumes of smoke. The Horn region is incredibly close. And yet, despite war almost on the door, the footsteps of this place, it feels familiar yet very different.

You had been in almost the exact same situation in Zentra, and there was panic. There was fear. Here, there is no fear. Here, everyone is going about their lives, preparing perhaps, but going about it in a very orderly way. They seem to be ready for what's coming. These are 100% orbs. Yes. And just for my own visualization in my brain, has the weather changed? What...

I can't remember if it's like tundra-ish cool. It's like a cool steps kind of situation. So it is, there's a little bit of a nip in the air for sure. It's been nine months. Yeah. And it's not snowing or anything, but it does seem to be getting a little bit cloudier. But you manage to make your way through and even though it is in cooler climates, it still feels very comfortable.

And you see even the yetis themselves, the beasts, the massive saber-toothed white tigers, the hawks that they train, are all moving about with that same orderly level of restraint and measuredness. And you eventually are guided up a number of roads that continue to go higher and higher into the mountain where Mogur Kai is built.

and you see steam rising from tall stone walls, as you see a gilded arch with gold filigrees and large braziers that have a very pleasant and inviting glow. And you see that there's a number of towers where spear-wielding orcs are standing watch, and this

seems to be huge, as it seems to be this walled hot springs, almost like a fortress. As the walls are incredibly high, they're made of stone. You see guard towers, the walls are walkable.

and you are guided beneath the arch, and as soon as you pass the braziers, you feel this warmth, and you smell that same saffron get stronger and stronger, and immediately you feel more at ease.

As you are guided down a long hallway, you see that there are separate doors that go off into various small chambers, which then lead out into different portions of the hot springs. And you realize that they all seem to be walled off and separated. And you are guided all the way down the hallway to one on the-- a door on the right. And she stops and says,

I will let you change into simple golden robes. You will enjoy the hot springs after that, together. There will only be the six of you. Get comfortable, get changed, and then I will be back after returning the rod to its rightful place to be prepared to be reforged, and then I will return to perform the purification process. And we have to leave everything?

You may leave everything in this chamber here. It is very secure. You realize that on the outside of this, there are two orcs guarding each one of these doors. And you actually look down as there's been a group that's been, that's coming after you. And there seem to be two orc soldiers that are very severely wounded, as if they barely escaped perhaps the battle at the wall, the outer wall. And

or rather the inner wall. And you see that their eyes are wild and they're shaking, they're filled with fear. And they're led by two guards into one of the chambers closer to the main entrance of these hot springs. And the door closes behind them.

Well, why don't we put everything in the bag of holding and then we'll put the bag of holding in his chamber? Well, everything? I mean, you're going to make me get undressed too? Yes, you are. That's what she's asking. Yes. Well, but if we're going to put everything in the bag of holding, we all have to get nude together. I drop my robe. I'm ready. Yeah. Woo!

There are privacy screens. No need. We have springs and neckbeds. You may enjoy... I'll kick my robe towards Toa. Get that for me, what are you doing? Toa! Oh my god. Oh god. Do you have a Kleenex? You may find everything that you require.

With a flick of the hand, I press to digitate the blood. Oh, that feels really weird. I'm looking, so it's like the magic is kind of just hitting you in the face. It's weird. I don't have really good aim. If you've ever felt like a booger, just fly out your own nose. That's...

You are guided in into this small chamber. There's a number of privacy screens, and you see that there are stacks of folded, simple golden-threaded robes, as well as towels. You once again smell that saffron. It's beautifully decorated, but still simple.

and you see that there is a large double wooden door that seems to open outward into the hot springs themselves. As Golden Lotus sees you in, she says, Get comfortable, relax, try to feel tranquility come over you, and I will return. Are these, and I'll pick one up, simple robes required? Yes. Oh, fine.

You cannot achieve true peace and tranquility burdened by your... The weakest linen I've ever found. What thread count are these? Probably like 450. How am I supposed to relax in something so scratchy against my skin?

It will be critical for you to relax, to put aside the gilded pursuits of your noble heritage. You moved me. It's fine. It's better to be warm. You will be safe. The guards here keep constant watch.

I will return. Farewell. And she turns to leave as the wooden doors close behind you. You are now alone amongst yourselves. The guard's on the other side of the door. I do not like her and I do not trust her. Anyone could tell me I have to wear this horribly scratchy linen to get into a spa. To soothe and relax myself obviously knows nothing about relaxation. Is that so true? Do you hate the robot right now?

Yes, Joa. Have your eyes been closed this entire time? He ran into one of the guards, didn't you see him? No, I was nearly skipping towards the room. I thought the hot springs were going to be in here. This is going to be fun, guys. I thought so. If I leave my dagger behind, I'm going to be vulnerable. Can you hide it somewhere?

- I don't think so. - I have some ideas. I'm gonna whip up a towel and slap Felix in the back. - No, Lufty, what are you doing? Why? - Oh, come on, this would be fun. - This isn't a time for messing around. - Well, it's not not a time for messing around. - That's kind of what it implies. - Oh. - Would you guys wanna do shifts? You can go first and I can watch the stuff. - Did you say shift? - I have a feeling that's not gonna be accepted either. - Oh, okay.

It seems like we're going to have to do this all together. All right. I'm going to get changed and I'm going to go back behind one of the privacy screens and store all of my stuff, including my hat for the first time ever. So are we not doing the ships then, Felix? Look, I'm not only

I don't make the rules here, Urza, okay? From behind the curtain. I just don't think that they're going to let us take shifts. I think they're going to make us all go in there at the same... Damn it, this fucking robe. I don't understand this. They're going to make us go in there at the same time. This isn't very secure. Do you need some help, Felix? I don't need any help. I can get undressed by myself. Are you sure?

You left your dagger out here. No, there's no way I would have done that. What if I helped you? No, Toa, I'm all comfortable with me. I'm fine. Yes, Toa, go in. Help him get his robe on. Raven Queen, damn it. I think he's fine. I'll go behind one as well and I will...

I guess I'll get changed too. I will turn invisible. You see the jacket just slide off. Every time he discards a piece of clothing, it just appears and falls to the ground. You notice there's no underwear, just the pants. Damn, dude. Commando Caprice, I don't know what to tell you.

A robe suddenly lifts up and then disappears before I'm finally un-invisible. That was easier to put on than you made it sound, Felix. You guys go ahead. It's going to take me a while. There's a lot of heavy armor here. Just go on ahead. I'm just going to leave the... Can I have your hand in everything? Sure. Are you done, Felix? Yeah, hold on. I just got to...

I just peek my head around. We can't go on without you. We're waging golden lotus. Oh, okay. I'll try to be quick then. I don't know how long it takes. Ten minutes to take a plank. Takes all the plate off. Clang, clang, clang. I will emerge from my private changing area with my hat, my clothing, my dagger, and my spell book and turn them over to Toa.

They'll be safe in here, I promise. Yeah, I hope so. And you can still do some stuff without the dagger. It's not like you're totally helpless. And I just kind of do like a...

See? Very unimpressed. Here are my boots, my armor, and my veal. Be very careful with that. Oh shit, boy. Let me just double check. I cast Mage Armor before I give up my dagger. Okay, you do that. You do that. You feel the shimmering arcane power wash over you for your military training.

Hold on, feel it. No, Caprice, who are you? Put in the violin after your viol, sorry, after I put in my armor so it doesn't get squished. We've got to put it on top, right? Well, does everything just stack in there? There's like a storage room in here. It'll be fine. I can organize it. You sure? Yeah, I can have like a little viol section that's totally separate from Hirsch's armor. Well, I don't know. Is it going to fit?

It should fit. Yes, yes. Yes, it'll fit. Toa, I swear to God, if anything happens to this wheel... I'll have you put it in there. Here! I throw him the bag. I don't understand how she thinks that we're going to be able to relax when we're all together. Oh, you're right. There are all kinds of compartments. That's what I'm saying. So no one told you life was gonna be this way. I throw the bag back to Toa.

All right. While we wait for Hesia... No, I'm almost done. You want that five more minutes? Oh, yeah. If you've ever read the donning and doffing rules in Dungeons & Dragons, you'll find out that this process takes a ridiculously long amount of time. When you're wearing heavy armor. You spend the ten minutes doing it. As soon as everything is stored away in the little locker space that they have, you hear the creaking of wood as the door on the other side opens. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

It does not stop. Ah, fuck. Are there pockets on these robes? What? No. So we don't get one of those twisty arm things with the key? No. Oh my goodness.

As the door opens and you immediately feel the warmth, as you see a large pool that's steaming, you see the large wooden bamboo walls go very high along, flanking the stone. Once again, that smell of saffron hits your nose and you feel the warmth of these natural springs hit you in this small chamber and it feels very inviting.

Felix, that's uh... that's called water vapor. My dad used to give me shit about this all the time. Steam is invisible. Water vapor is what actually appears when... I thought you would want to know that as an intelligent wizard such as yourself, babe. Caprice, your robes open in the front. You need to wrap the cord around and tie. I can see your penis.

I close it, but then my tail wraps around. I go to take my hat off and run my hands through my hair and I go, "Oh, it'll be okay." You look like hat hair. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. The tufts are like curling up ones underneath where the hat should be. And it's like awfully flat on the top and like, it's weird. You can tell that I have some hat head.

Well, uh, it's just us in the room. The six of us, right? Yeah, you're in the room right now, and it's open in the hot spring portion. You see that it's walled on either side. So there's basically these large stone walls that go very high up, like, you know, several dozen feet up, and it's bordered with, like, wood and bamboo. It looks very decorative, but there's a lot of privacy. ♪

What's the highest depth on the other side of the pool? I just need to know for diving purposes. What's the temperature of the water? The temperature is a very pleasant hot tub. Is there a floaty division string to let Hersha know where she will and will not drown?

It is all, it's hard to tell. There's no division. There's no like feet. There's no like big, like a concrete squares. - Is there a ramp in that? I take a ramp. - There are little stone steps that go down into it. - What type of stone are the steps made? I'm just kidding. - Guys look, I found these really cool tiny surfboards. - They're made of styrofoam and when you try to push them under the water, they go, "Oh!"

God, they shoot right up in your nose. It hurts. It hurts a lot. Jesus, Lord Almighty.

That is so real! Are you listening to a thing anymore? I'm sure they are. You actually see that there is a number of very buoyant hollow wooden or bamboo carved ones that have hair in them, if you care to do that. As you all enter, the gilded doors close behind you. You see that the...

It's very elegantly carved, and it seems to be swoops and swirls, but it all is in a very pleasant glittery gold that reminds you of Hizaki. And you are all alone in the hot springs. You can see a number of towers around as this wall, this whole compound rises very high above, and there are a number of guards, but they seem to be facing outwards away from you. You feel like you have a good amount of privacy here.

I'm gonna walk up to the edge of the hot spring and look in. And then look to everyone else and, uh... Okay, nobody look. And I'm gonna point my finger at the water and, uh, um, basically cast a firebolt to create lots of steam so I can drop my rope and jump in. No one ever did their eyes. Oh!

Well, there's tons of steam though, right? Didn't we just hear that it's not called steam? Sorry. Well, I'm creating lots of water vapor. Luckily, Andy said that and not my level, my 20 intelligence wizard named Felix. Right, right, right. So I'll point to the water and I'll say, and drop my robe and jump in. Oh, lovely. Oh.

The robe. Great. And I drop my robe and I just walk in. If only I had my musical focus.

Can I look now, Felix? I mean, if you want, I'm gonna just, you know, keep creating steam so that this is PG. Cannonball, whatever a cannon is! And I throw it in the water. We destroyed those magical cannons, remember, outside of Zintra. We know what a cannon is. A magical ball. That's canon.

I throw my robe off and I walk in. Okay. The water feels incredibly pleasant, and it seems almost...

supernatural, the fact that that smell, that very strong scent of saffron is in the air, and you hear the light clanking of a clinging, the song of wind chimes as the breeze kind of whips through very pleasantly, as you feel immediately more relaxed the second that you all ease into these hot springs, and it's just incredibly pleasant. Lofty, I don't trust it. Why not?

We don't like water, our kind. I'm just on the very edge, dipping a toe in. That explains so much. Nope. Well? So much. Don't trust it. This is the first time I've been in warm water since I left home.

Oh, she's amazing. Do you think when she comes back, she could just cleanse me just for being here? Like a participation trophy that I don't have to get in the water? I'm really terrified of drowning. I don't know, Herja. I think you're going to have to get in. I mean, this is pretty nice. And then I'm going to whistle and Beatrice...

"Come on, just bathe, it's nice." And Beatrice will flutter in and be making bluebird noises and doing the bird flutter and making splashes and all sorts of good stuff. She does that. There's a little bit of pool, a little shallow pool on one side. Persia, it's really not that deep. I mean, I'm sitting here and this is nice.

I don't trust it. Hold on. How deep is it? Can you go to one end and tell me exactly how deep it is? I have an idea. What is the idea? I'm all ears. So I'm going to get out of the tub and I'll collect some of these floaty things that Caprice...

bonked in his face, and I'll surround them around your waist and tie it with one of the golden robes so you have sort of like a kid floating. Oh, that'd be nice. Could you put some around my arms, too? Yeah. This is a good idea. Thanks. You look a lot better now. And so I, like, I wade in and I jump. Yeah, her kind of walks over like this and just, like, she just floats and is just carrying around.

I'm trying to sink a little bit lower so that my tits are underwater, but they just keep floating back up, and I'm just like... Are you done? It's not that deep, Bustin. I'm looking at what goes to my hands. Is it over now? It sure does. It's still moving, though. You'll be fine. Luffy, you said wind things. It flew over.

the steam away. No, no, just blow me in the other side of the pool. I use my unending breath to clear the steam. No, don't do an iris or just a big... What's happening? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't understand. There's a lot of strange words in the wrong

I'll settle back down. Enjoy it! Enjoy it, this is so nice! Squeak squeak! Lofty blobby that way! I'm just gonna jump around the floor. She just floats. I don't feel contaminated anymore.

Are we allowed to just cast stuff? Because I'm assuming that we can't cast stuff.

Well, I mean, I can try, right? I will try to cast Detect Magic, which does not require any material components. You do that. So I'll wave a hand and, you know, do what I need to do to try to Detect Magic.

You do that and your hands glow as you sense around for magic, and really the only thing magical is just how pleasant this is. This is magically pleasant. And friendship. And friendship. You don't attack, it feels like a natural spring. There's nothing inorganic about this. I mean, it's just...

Well, to be fair, she did tell us she wanted us to relax and then she was going to cut herself and remove the taint, so... The ritual for all this? Oh, so I'm still tainted? Yes. Potentially. I don't feel very tainted. I mean, neither do I. I guess it's gonna see... We're gonna have to see what this, uh, you know, ritual entails. I'm not sure. I'm not doing anything weird. Yeah, I mean, that makes two of us. Hmm.

- I'm trying to like readjust all the floaties.

I was just trying to figure out which of my spells don't require material components. And hideous laughter requires tarts and a feather. Tarts? Tiny, tiny tarts. Not big tarts. Tiny tarts. Like cakes? No, tarts. Tarts. No, like tarts. Like desserts? Like a tart. Can you imagine being a wizard and you're finished baking and you're like, oh, fuck, these are like a half an inch too big. God damn!

My diamond has gone down because of the market? Bullshit! I didn't train for 80 fucking years to have to learn how to fucking bank! People can't rez people because the market's getting flooded with diamonds, and that drives the price down. Okay, you have material components. Disgusting. Diamond inflation, man.

That's a real plot. Someone has done that in Dungeons & Dragons. I'm just relaxed. I'm enjoying that. Me too. I'm actually, I'm kicking back. I'm with Caprice. Up to the neck in water, my tail is sort of swirling around the bubbly water. So what do we do if we can get the rod back and we defeat Baphomet? What do we do then?

Well, then we have to go back and we have to save the angel, Deva. Angel. We have to save that angel. Do we know her name? Yes, her name is Akula. We have to save Akula. I mean, that was the whole point of getting this in the first place. Let's not be naive. We know something's going to go horribly wrong and we're going to have to deal with it before we can possibly save the angel. So let's relax and try to think of what is going to go horribly wrong so we can get ahead of it.

That seems counterintuitive. Shouldn't we be thinking about what should go horribly right so that we can relax? Perhaps all they do is they'll just walk up to Baphomet and hit him in the hoof, and he'll just explode into nothingness. Maybe they're just going to drive it in the ground and hope that he steps on it, Home Alone style. Toa, why don't you stand up and reenact what's going to happen to Baphomet? Why would I do that? Just stay in the water.

I'm getting mixed signals here. Just stay in the water, it's for your comfort and for everybody's just comfort. You are no fun, Felix. All right, I'm a bit of a pleasant, so I'd like to stay in the water if it's okay. What worries me is that the first suggestion upon asking if we could have it back was that it might break. But I don't see any part of that rod actually breaking once it's reforged. It's too powerful. You don't think so?

I'm more worried that they'll make off with it and disappear. I share that concern. I mean, the only thing that we know about why it broke in the first place is because it was blood-touched by this Wolfsfighter prince. And that... I mean, we just have to take their word for it. We have no idea why it was really broken. Well, even in her own word, Baphomet is nothing compared to this Miska. I mean, I just don't see it breaking. So if it suddenly goes missing...

Then we're going to have a problem on our hands. But if it's missing, then we can just get it back and find it.

Well not, not did you see how quickly that Kirin took my beef jerky? Are you out of your mind? That's gonna snap that, it's gonna snatch it right out of her hands. We're never gonna see that rat again. Are you fucking kidding me? We've teleported all over vast distances instantly without time passing. We have tools at our disposal. Because of her arm. Of other entities. We could get their help again. Yes. They want to save Akula too.

Sure. I would be more convinced if you were standing, Torbjorn.

Is it because it's more stoic and leader-like? Yeah, you look like manly and tall. There's a forcefulness about it. I appreciate that. I mean, I could stand up if you could really make a difference. She just wants to see your club, all right? I left that in the bag of holding. That's for combat. That's the difference. We're talking... I don't have any clubs on me. I don't know what you mean. We want to look at your penis, Toa. Oh. Oh.

It does not. I should not have said that. No. You're much better at this sleeping with everyone thing than I am. Yeah, I am. That's wrong. Apologies, Toa. Does that make me a better leader if I show you my penis? Sometimes, yes. I'm not opposed to it per se. Sometimes it's worse, but sometimes it's better. In most situations, I would say no. But today, yes. Yes, it would.

All I'm trying to say, penis aside, is that, you know, wait a bit. Which side? The left, of course. Right, that checks out. That's a silly question.

And Mike burns all his notes. No, I warned you. I warned everyone already, so I... I bear no responsibility. You're right, Felix. If it broke on the prince of all demons, that's one thing, but never mind. This is some...

We know that it's like an avatar representation. It's not like literally Baphomet showed up. You're not entirely sure, but there probably is a physical manifestation. And you did, you have heard of the word that Baphomet's called the Prince of Beasts, but this Miska the Wolf Spider was specifically the Prince of Demons and was some tier of demon far above even Baphomet. Yikes. Which there were older, ancient, the original demons, and of which there are only a handful, if any, remaining.

So I think you're right. I think it won't break. We'll defeat Baphomet. We'll save all of these innocent orcs. And then we'll take this, we'll take the rod back to Arca. Well, in the worst case scenario, we could always say that name three times. I'm kidding. I would never. Why would you joke about that? Well, because I don't trust that though I wouldn't, that one of you wouldn't. Well, there's only one of us currently that knows the name. What's your name? The one that we're all talking about. Oh, yes.

Nope. No, we know the name of the lady that controls Caprice. Oh, got it.

I mean, she might. But we don't know the name of the evil demon bird statue, right? No, I kept that a secret. Only I know that. I never told you that the name I read was Bosco. I mean, it's not Bosco. I promise. Don't say that. Oh, that's twice. LAUGHTER

Capricious Bosco! Look out! I use my neuro-illusion to create a face right in front of Joanne. Oh no! What have we done if we just ended the world? Caprice, this isn't funny! You can mess around with things! I'm not messing around! No, we're dealing with things that you don't understand! You've got to relax, right? It's fine. It's obviously not Bosco. That's not a threatening name.

You're rumbling. And luckily only Caprice is there. Oh no. I'm going to wait up for Felix and I'm going to put my hands in the water and make like this squeaky noise. The fountain. Caprice, I understand. Stop it. I understand that you're trying to...

I understand that you're just trying to make light of things and make people laugh, but this isn't funny. You can't joke about something like this. That's not funny. This is funny. I need your utmost...

Confidence that you're not going to tell somebody that name. I'm not going to tell anyone that name. I'm not. I am absolutely 100% not going to tell anyone that name. Would you like to tell me that name? I would not. How can I know? You don't understand. I want to protect you. I want to help you. But I can't help you from something that only you know.

You're going to doom yourself. Well, then maybe he should tell one other person. No, no, no one knows. No one learns. We know if he's saying the name or not. At least if someone knows the name, when he says something like Bosco. Because he's never going to say it. I'm not quite sure of that. No, Caprice, you have to promise me that you're never going to say it.

This isn't a joke, I'm being serious! Yeah, I can feel how serious you're being right now. You're going to pee in the spa if you continue this way. They have chemicals, it'll change color. Caprice, look me in the eye. Promise me you're not gonna ever repeat the name, ever. I promise.

You believe that? I do. We don't- Hey, ask me to do something. We don't have a choice! Why aren't you taking this more seriously? You're taking it seriously enough for all of us! Well, I think it's hard to take it seriously when you're screaming like a small child. We're supposed to be relaxing here! And it's like none of you care!

Oh no, I think we're all very relaxed. I think unless we have some horrible magic like pact that he physically can't break, we just have to take him at his word. What more can we do? Wait a minute. That might give me an idea. Does that exist? A horrible magical pact? I wish I had my book. Honestly, if there's a magical way that you can seal the secret inside of me, that's probably for the best because I don't know if you remember about the devil that may or may not be controlling me. There might be.

Oh!

I was just kidding. I'm not a fan of that idea at all. I need my tongue for all kinds of things. My eyes are briefly to the front. Do you really need it? Yeah. All of my power is my ability to speak. We should cut it out. You can still, you know, play. You stay back.

What is that? Damn it! It's right in my eye! I'm very dexterous. Use the bag. Fine, fine. I'm just kidding. We're not cutting anyone. I think we should all relax. You can worry about medical pecs later. Let's just relax. We'll get de-egged, de-tainted.

I've had enough of eggs and taints! I just want to feel relaxed and clean. Well? I too have had enough of eggs and taints. Someone want to teach me how to swim? No. Caprice, what can you tell us at gym? Oh, okay. Oh, um, two cannibals are eating a clown and one turns to the other and says, does this taste funny to you?

I really wish I had not laughed at that one. Classic. Pretty good. Thank you, thank you. You were all rubbing off on me. I should not find that funny. I don't get it. What's a clown? Oh, a clown like a jester.

Oh, we don't have those in Corovacchia. You don't? It's a very somber place. That's starting to explain a lot. Well, they sort of like, they joke around, they do acrobatics, they satire. They're like funny and they come out very comical. Oh no, there's no clapping in Corovacchia. That's why the joke is, does this taste funny to you? Because eating a clown would be eating something that is funny. So that's why you can't cut out his tongue, Felix, because then he can't eat clowns.

- Well, because if you like grind them up first, like a smoothie. - But you know what a cannibal is, right? - Oh, oh, you know, yeah, of course we have cannibals in the world. - Okay, okay, yeah, no, all right. So two clowns are eating a cannibal and one turns to the other and says, "Are you sure this is the right joke?"

I'm going to work on you. I'm going to find the perfect joke for you. I'll think about it. And I like start bubbling. All right. I'm just going to like float on my back. Got that right. Darcy won!

All you see above the water, Iris's eyes and her tail just going back and forth. How large is this? Oh, it's pretty large. We could just spread out. Yeah, there's tons of room. I'm picturing the Hot Springs episode from Outlaw Star. I see Toa floating along. Watch out, there's a snake! I don't do that. Roll for initiative.

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You all take some time to relax, and within the hour, you hear the doors open, and Golden Lotus stands there, wearing similar robes matching the ones that you had, and she steps out, and the doors close, and she's still holding the glaive, and she looks at all of you, and she says,

Are you all feeling relaxed now? Finally. Sup GL, how you doing? Yes, I can tell that you are. I'm still floating out at the far end of the pool. Are you now all feeling more amicable? I don't know how to swim. I may do. Well, it is good to see that you are still alive then. Thank you.

Who would like to start with the purification process? Yeah, let's get this over with. Start like, kick me out of the fucking pool. I'm trying to get the fuck out of the pool. You will need to reflect on your past in order to complete this process. Okay. And it will be one at a time. Past? Past?

Yes. By looking into our past, we are able to inform our present and future. I'm not sure that that's something that I want to partake in. You will not be cleansed otherwise. And surely you will turn into a slot. You may stay quarantined until that transformation takes place. And then be properly dealt with if you do not wish to be purified. Yeah, she means killed. Yeah.

Don't die, Felix! Please? Understood. Who would like to begin? I think Hoosier wants to go first. I'm already... She beckons you over to a little alcove in this hot spring, where you see that there's a little...

a little stone beneath a beautiful tree of blossoms. And she sits down and she continues to hold the glaive and she looks at you invitingly as you swim up. And she says, are you prepared to begin? - Yeah, let's do it. - Very well. I need you to close your eyes, feel the warmth of the water.

the purity that you are surrounded by. And I need you to tell me about a time in your life when you felt at peace. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

We're just listening. It's a beautiful day out. Doing some laps together and getting her her exercise so her lungs don't collapse. I would say I feel I was pretty at peace then. I think Ma was working at the alms and animals shop and Pa was probably, you know, at the bars. 2 p.m. on a Wednesday. Just getting absolutely hammered, you know.

Yes. So we're all feeling, we were all feeling pretty good that day. So I was at peace because they were at peace. And Peyton put me at peace. It was your family that brought you peace. Oh yeah, I would say family brought me a lot of peace. And Peyton too. I see. Are we all able to hear this? Yes. Or is it private? No, it's not private. It is open. Have, tell me about a time when you felt unity. Probably the time when we opened up.

Anvil and alms, I mean that was before I was born. When they told me about why they did it and how they kept the anvil hot. So Ma put on some dough in the anvil and baked some bread for all the people who couldn't afford food in the village. I remember handing out fresh loaves at like 8 p.m. every night. Cost us barely anything, you know. I really felt part of a community at that point.

You followed the process that you and your family put forth. Thank you. Finally, when was a time you truly felt that you were good? Good or good enough? Good. Good. Are we ever truly good enough? I don't think so. I think I have waning moments. One time. Think on it.

Where I felt good. When you felt good. Truly moral. I felt really good when we were... Well, I'm trying... She's like deciding whether or not she wants to share this information. I'm just looking into her eyes and trying to get a sense of... She's staring intently at you. Yeah. Does she seem anxious? No. Not at all. Okay, she's also very relaxed. Very at peace.

I know you've been at war, your people, your kind with a lot of others in your neighboring countries, but you know it's difficult to say, but I felt good when we saved all those owl folk. What did you do to save the owl folk? It wasn't what we did. It was what Ufdi's mom did. We all helped, I suppose.

And I felt good in that moment. I felt like lives were saved. We didn't have to sacrifice them. That there was an alternate path. That they could be protected. You obeyed the laws of your own morality. Think on these moments. Let them consume your consciousness. Think about how you followed the rules of your family.

the obedience to your mother and your father and how that brought you unity, peace, and goodness. You followed the orderly path. Close your eyes and let that purify you. And she closes her own eyes and she taps with the glaive and you sit there and there's a bit of a pause and then... Very well, you have been purified. That's you? Yes. Do I feel any different? No.

Okay. Am I excused now? Please swim away or float away. Could you use that to give me a good push? She flips around and... Oh, it's my face. Just... Who is next? Alright, I'm done.

You don't look any different. I don't feel any different. I can go. You don't smell any different, do you, sir? I very sneakily conjure Mage Hand and push toe. Oh, I'm happy to go, yes, of course. I will kind of wade up to her. Close your eyes. Feel the warmth of the water, the purity that surrounds you. Tell me about a time where you felt at peace.

A time when I felt at peace. There was a day when I went sailing. I was much younger and the winds in the morning were strong and I was able to sail around the island and do a bit of spearfishing. But I was pretty far away from shore when the wind died. It stopped. And at first I got worried. How am I going to make it home? How am I going to cook these fish? And then I looked around at the beauty around me.

crystal blue sea, bright blue sky, a beautiful green island, the gorgeous sand, the sound of the wind and the gulls. And I just laid there. I looked up at the sun. I laid on my boat and I felt the warmth. And in that moment I let all worry wash away. I still think back to that moment and eventually the wind came back. I didn't have to worry about it. Life wasn't ruined. I still cooked my fish.

And I still think back to that moment as being calm. You don't have to worry to make the world spin. Sometimes things just work their selves out. And returned to your people on your island. Part of your island life. Yes. Was that part of your daily routine? Always, yes. Tell me about a time where you felt unity. The most impactful time of them.

The most important moments of my life is when I got my tattoos. It is the greatest sign of being a member of the Makani Islands. Being a Goliath of the Makani Islands is to wear our tattoos proudly. And you have to earn them. You have to deserve them. If you're young and stupid and don't have honour, you don't respect family or our culture, you don't get them.

But I did, and I felt one with my family, my clan, my people, my island. You followed the traditions. Yes. Of the old ways. Yes, the traditions of my ancestors. Followed the laws, the ancient customs. Tell me about a time you truly felt good. This is a tough one. I've never meant to do bad in my life. But I think the time that I felt good was when I left home for the first time to come here. I didn't want to. I didn't have to.

I loved my life at home and it was relaxing and peaceful and wonderful but doing the thing that was scary and daunting and risking my life to sail away from that island for maybe the last time to protect the people, to protect my people. I think that was the first time that I truly did good. You were doing it for your people. Yes. For your customs, for your

the ways of your culture. Yes. You showed your obedience, how willing you were to serve. Close your eyes. Let those thoughts, those memories fill your consciousness and be purified. She taps again. Roman. You are purified. Who is next? And she looks around to the rest of the group. I feel really nice, Felix. That was nice. I think you should go next. I'd really rather not.

It's not that bad. It's pleasant. The water's very comfortable. All right, well, I'm just saying, you don't have to be scared. Don't worry about it. I'll go. Join me by the blossoms. As you swim up, she asks you to close your eyes. Feel the pure water all around you. Feel the warmth. Tell me about a time you were at peace. I, uh, was always at peace. Any time. I was in...

the back of our shop, the De Sesto's, we made different stringed instruments. And there was a workshop where we could be, I was working to be a luthier, someone who makes stringed instruments. And when I was all alone in there and just focusing on

stringing and resin and working the wood and making the instruments for our shop and helping out in any way that I could, mixing oils, doing all that. It was quiet and golden and beautiful. That was... I miss it a lot. With your family.

Yeah, I mean, it was always a little bit more chaotic when we were with the family. That was a place where, you know, if my dad was running the shop up front and selling instruments, that was when I could be actually by myself a little bit. That aloneness was... Escaping the chaos, you say? But because I was entering the flow of working on...

Working with wood and creating the instruments that we sold at the shop. Their structure to hard work. Yeah. Very well. Tell me about a time you experienced unity. Probably the opposite direction of where I just went, with the family thing. I'm sorry, I know I have to keep my eyes closed. The...

There was nothing better than on a weekend, grabbing the whole fam, all of my cousins and my second cousins and my uncles and my aunts and my great aunts and my great uncles and that one great uncle. We would all go down. We'd grab some food from Gazpacho's. We'd grab some Budweiser's. We'd make our way down, and it was game day. And we'd go down to the garden.

We watched a game of fling flounder. There was nothing better than being all you know 30 40 of us sitting in the crowd Just looking out and screaming for our favorite team. Bitchy balls

I'm uniting over here, alright? Fuck! Would you say that was these game days? Was the time that your family was able to get together and unify and do one thing, bring some order to the chaos? Absolutely. It was that or go to church and...

The family made a choice. But still it brought structure. The matter brought you unity. Yes. Tell me about the time where you felt good. Feels good? Or feel good? Good. I, uh... That's tough. I like to think that I'm a good person and that I don't kill on...

You achieve security for the people of Zentra.

I mean, afterwards, Bof, that got summoned. But yeah, in that moment, it felt really like I was on the right side of history. You brought order to the chaos. Yeah, I'd like to think so. You followed those laws. You followed the laws of family, obedience to the will of your people and your history. And even for all the distaste I have for Virgil Zurn, you followed his laws.

And you brought unity, peace, fault-filled coot. Thank you. Close your eyes. Tap tap. Chubby fish, who is next? Are you touching me with that language? I usually am. I need you to go next. It's fine. Okay. Does this bother you?

immensely good and good. Okay. I'll doggy paddle up. You do that. She looks at you and she says, Close your eyes. You are a being of air. Are you alright? Feel the warmth, the purity around you. Tell me about a time you felt at peace. Well...

I remember the first time I left the monastery and I went to a city and it was so loud and there were people yelling at me I stepped in a puddle of maybe mud maybe shit I don't know but I knew right then this was where I was meant to be I was just overwhelmed with peace after stepping in mud yes or shit yes

You never know. You don't know how. Infuriating silences until you've left it. Leaving your monastery? Yeah. Entering a city? Yeah. Tell me about a time when you felt unity. Well...

I can really talk with my eyes closed. It brings me... Just pretends they're closed. That is funny. It's really hard. It's unnerving. I'm like, whoa. You're a little dizzy. You hear the wind chimes playing a little too. So I've never felt more peaceful than...

That is just our baby elephant. Oh, he's so cute. Don't mention it. No one talk about the goddamn elephant. Don't say his name three times. That's not true. She said it. And this elephant demon lord erupts into existence. Trunks win! Trunks win! Trunks win! It all comes full circle. It always does. It always does. Well...

I was abandoned as a child. And so, as you can imagine, I felt pretty alone for most of my early life. But I remember the first time the Harvest Festival for Lepoard. It was the first taste of wine I ever had. And the first time that the whole village, we rose up together in song and we sang to Lepoard. And I knew it.

But they were there for me always. And I would always be a part of them. You found unity through being with the people of your village. That's right, yes. You followed their customs in a festival as set forth by their old ways. And by following that social construct and being obedient to the customs, you found unity. Tell me about a time you felt good

I've been thinking about this I usually feel pretty good Good Yeah but I don't always feel like good I feel good but I don't feel like good You know? Until recently With my friends here And I had to do something

I had to sacrifice something. But it was... It was like giving something away from me to get something more for everyone. And that felt... It felt good. I don't know that I would do it again, but it felt pretty good. You gave up your personal desire. You put yourself beneath what was good for all. You gave up your own personal whims. Yeah.

And that brought you goodness. I guess. But it could have been a fluke, I don't know. In a city, in your village, with your friends, you followed the orderly path. And that brought you peace, unity, and goodness. Tap, tap. She... Her eyes dart between the people that are left. And she hesitates a moment. I suppose we could...

I don't know, rape? We'll play rock, paper, scissor for it. Oh no, I'll go before you. You're going to turn into one of those river toads. I mean, as much as sometimes I think about it might be better, life might be better as a river toad. Jesus. I know that I can't, and I still have work to do. So would you like to go first then, so you're not last? So that she forgets all the things you tell her?

That's actually a pretty good idea. I suppose we're going next. Great. I'll continue to lounge. With my nose beneath the water and Beatrice sitting on my head, I will make my way over to the Golden Lotus. Yeah, get over there, you fraud. And only peek my chin out, because I don't want to reveal my...

in my nipples to the rest of the group. So it's really just my head floating around in the water. It's just your head. And Beatrice just sits pleasantly on your head. And once again, she looks at you and she smiles. There's a bit of hesitation as her cat eyes seem to zero in on you. And she looks back at the four that had gone. And then she hesitates and then asks, tell me about today.

Close your eyes. Yeah. Feel the warmth and the pure water all around you. Okay. And think of a time you felt at peace. I think the time that I was most at peace was when Mr. Mendel sent me to school. And I was able to learn. And suddenly it was all about how much I could cram in my head. And I learned that I could learn all of it.

And suddenly I had control. And it was just about how much information I could possibly absorb. And I could absorb all of it. And there was nobody that could beat me. And it wasn't an answer that I didn't know. And everything had structure and sense. And it was regimented. Everything was sensical. And I think that's when I was most at peace. When I was top of my class and I joined the talent guard.

I knew what I was doing. It made sense. Everything made sense. Structure. You see her face, the rest of you without your eyes closed, see her face light up. Structure, order, being regimented. Yes, you already know. That has brought you great peace. I can tell. Tell me about a time when you felt unity. The moment that my baby brother was born. It was one of the last times that me and Milo and my mom were all together.

And Mr. Mendel, of course, he let us live at the bar. And that was it. That was unity. That was family. You felt like family was the strongest memory of unity. When things made sense, the family structure was maintained very well. Tell me about a time when you felt good. I don't think I've ever been good. I don't know.

I burned all of my closest friends and family alive. Okay... Because I thought that I would spare them. And then I learned that my entire life was a lie. And from that moment on, I've spent every waking moment trying to save my brother and fix the things that I've done, and I don't think that I'm good. But if my life continues the way that it goes, then maybe when I finally die, the Raven Queen will look upon my wretched soul and deem me maybe okay. You have been good.

You can still be good. You found temporary respite in the orderliness, the life that you desired. But constant misfortune, the threads of fate throwing your world into chaos. You can be good. You must give up your personal desires. Give up that which leads to the chaos. Find...

Peace, tranquility, unity, and goodness in obedience to the law and the order of this universe. And you will finally be good. She taps with the glaive. She taps again. Third time. She watches you leave and her eyes linger.

And she then turns to you, Iris. Just one more moment. I'm enjoying it. Fine. And I will swim. Go under the water, look towards Toa, and then swim straight towards the golden lotus. She watches you closely, once again warm and inviting. Close your eyes. It's alright.

Feel the warmth, the pure water all around you, and tell me of a time you were at peace. Far out from Sikhet are the burial grounds of my ancestors. Beneath the warm sand they rest for eternity in the land of Nunes. And it is there, in the quiet, the swirling sands around me, that as a youth it was almost as if I could hear them whisper to me, and that was where I found peace.

Amongst your ancestors? Yes. And with my God. God? You know what it's like to serve a God. To serve the will of your ancestors and your family. And it truly is a peaceful thing. Tell me about a time you experienced unity. When I left everything I had known to travel further south, seeking the gods of my family, the god of my heart.

Anubis himself, becoming a priestess of Anubis, led me towards those that had my same ideals. Some outcasts like myself. The first time I felt like I was truly... Would you ever turn against the will of your god? Never. Even if a personal desire would stray from the path that he has set for you? My greatest personal desire is to serve Anubis. Then you truly understand...

what brings true unity. Tell me about a time when you felt good. I was in darkness as I stepped out of the tunnel into a bustling city and in my arms I held an innocent life and with the grace of my family and my name I gave that innocent life a life of its own. And yet that was not enough. A poor girl who had lost her child

was never to bear fruit of her own. I gave her a son, and in that moment, I felt good. To follow in your footsteps at home, your family, your people, your God. Is that right? To know that all those that I love will one day find peace, whether by my hand or the news of it. That is enough for me. In the end, when it matters, they all matter.

will find the same peace and tranquility that you have. Our fate is all the same. Grains of sand. And all must be obedient to the gods, the forces of this universe. And that is what brings true unity. I nod, ever, with my eyes closed. Very well. She taps again. Waits. Well, you've all experienced purity.

Animals are gonna turn into... You know the froggy things? Slotty. You understand. You understand now what has brought all of you peace, unity, tranquility, goodness, happiness. You think of your family, your friends, your peoples, your nations, your gods. It is sacrificing the will of your individual womp's chaotic whims and truly serving a good that's greater than yours.

Serving. That is what purifies us. Your eyes kind of dart back and forth. Well, the purification ritual is complete. You no longer need quarantine. I, my goodness, I will continue to prepare the rod for forging tomorrow morning. Your quarters have been

We stopped, refreshed, and are prepared for you. And your dear friend, Revali, is waiting for you. Oh. Well, he's more of an acquaintance. Well, he's a dear friend. He is healing. He is eager to speak with you. Can we stay in the hot springs? I know I'm all raisiny. As long as you'd like. We will send an escort for you in the morning. Sleep well tomorrow. Perhaps will be the day. But we see...

if we can achieve what hasn't been done in countless millennia. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Be at peace. And she turns and you see her, as she walks away, you see her kind of look back a little bit and hesitate and then she just continues with one final tap tap. Do I notice that like between all of us that she's tapped different amounts of time?

Insight check, please. Ooh!

- Hersha. - I'm not good at that. - Get some, baby. - Hersha, get some. - Get up in there. - It's a 10, should I twist it? I mean, I have this plus one insight. - I don't know. - That's more than half. - Do you twist it? - I know, I'm sorry, that's me. - Let's twist it. - It's fun. - Twist it? - Just twist it. - Yeah, we got money to burn, no problem. - I'm gonna use my new wormwood dice. - Thank you. - My new undertow dice. - Hersha, get it, girl. - Dirty 20. - Dirty 20.

- I would definitely say that you noticed that there was, you've always noticed her tap once. - Yeah. - And this was the first time you've experienced, I think with a 20, you have noticed that she has tapped multiple times. - Yeah. - Well, it's a double tap, but basically attempting to, so basically tapping like six times at the most. So it definitely was different.

I'm gonna like wade over to the group and try to get close and I'll say, so I don't know if...

you all noticed. Oh, right, because... Stage whispering. So I'm whispering, but I'm talking to you like this. I don't know if you noticed, but she tapped more for you than she did for me, and I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like she cleansed you more than maybe me. Maybe I was feeling... Maybe he needed it more. Well, no, I stink more than him, though. I think it was a soul cleansing, not like an exterior...

I'm still not entirely sure that all of this wasn't performative. Oh, no, I don't feel any different. I don't feel any different. I think she's a complete and utter joke. I feel nice. I feel different. I feel relaxed. In a nice, relaxed way. Yeah, because we just spent a whole four-hour period in limbo, and now we're in a hot spring. Yeah. But she tapped differently for different reasons. I don't remember what she tapped for me.

Look, I certainly don't know, but I would default to Iris and say that I'm sure that in her culture there are plenty of things where there are different amounts of things that you do depending on the thing that you're doing. Yes, of course, but this felt nothing like a cleansing ritual. More like she was prying into our lives. I didn't mean to insinuate that. Did I just give up secrets? Yes, more than that. I hate that!

Can I remember how many times I got tapped? You do it so freely when you're drunk. I know, but I don't like it. I think it was just once. Was the order? Yeah, it was three times. It was Toa, no, it was Hersha, Toa, Caprice, Luffy, Felix, Iris. You got it once. I think you got three.

There was just one for me that I can remember. I had my eyes closed and these springy ports are really difficult to have control. Well, I think you're probably just overthinking it. And maybe if it was performative, then maybe just the medicinal properties of these hot springs are doing their work. I find it highly unlikely that...

Her asking us questions and slamming a staff or whatever to the ground is going to cure us of becoming frog creatures. It seems unlikely. I'm with Iris on this one. I mean, we saw them. You saw what they looked like. If I turned into one of those, some simple hot spring and a couple questions isn't going to do anything about it. And I checked. This is not magic. I didn't want to be rude, but I thought about asking Iris in front of her earlier. She thought that I was tainted.

Yes. Because I trust her more than I trust her. Yes, but you've been tainted since the day I met you. Well, you know what I mean, like the limbo tainty. Well, no more than the rest of us. Am I going to be a frog? No. I don't think any of us are in any danger of becoming frogs.

I don't think we were before we got into this hot spring. You think this was a distraction? I think they're using it as a way to take the rod and do something to it and then just extract information from us when we're at our most serene. That's almost like being drunk. Don't forget vulnerable. And we're naked! And they're going to take it and utilize it for whatever strange purposes they have.

It's interesting too, so we're supposed to be all cleansed now. Couldn't we just go and try to put the rod together tonight? Well, yes, of course, which is why we couldn't wait to be cleansed and keep the rod with us because they had to do all these things seated. I'll be honest, I'm exhausted, but that's not a bad idea. Let's go kind of like poke around.

I don't think that they would let us in. I think it would be ridiculous. We've already succumbed to this strange bogus ritual. I thought the entire point was we were going along with the fact that she's quite clearly a liar.

And they are doing nefarious things and we know that we are getting ourselves into something far above our heads that we're going to have to climb ourselves out of. So we might as well enjoy the evening, have a lovely supper, I'll sleep on top of Lufty, and we'll have a lovely night and then come the morning we'll deal with the ramifications of our actions and hopefully it won't be too extreme. Not to be a Debbie Down. I heard that once.

In a tavern. I hope it means what I think it means. I've never met a Debbie. Let's just relax. That's fine. Alright, then I think we should see what Captain Freeman wants to tell us. Oh. I have a stomach ache. Do you think they've regrown his arm, or do you think it's only his tiny, like, half-grown arm? That's disgusting. Caprice, why would you say something like that?

It's in 16! Look, I don't have the nicest things to say about Revoli of Freewing, but arm and no arm, he is a match for anyone.

That's true. So, the state of his arms are relevant. And if you would see him and sketch it in excruciating detail, that would be disgusting. And then if you were to share that with me later, I would say no. Stop that. Then yeah, definitely don't do that. Don't do that. Correct. If either one of you does that, I will walk from the room and pretend like I saw him.

This is ridiculous, and I'm exhausted with both of you. Great. No, I'm not condoning it. I think it's horrific. Terrible. But I have no more patience for the three of them, to be quite honest. Yeah. Thank you, Iris. What did I do? Please don't make fun of anybody for their battle wounds. I just noticed her tearing. This is quite literally the reason. They said that they were going to go heal him, and I didn't know if that was going to include the arm piece, and if it was going to be a tiny, like, baby arm.

It's irrelevant. It's fine to bring this up with us, but don't bring it up in front of him. No, he's very sensitive. And it's irrelevant. Thank you, Iris. At the end of the day, this is the reason it took so long to become friends with Lufty. She's evil at her core. Lufty, don't listen. She's evil at her core. It's true.

Get her drunk and see what she does to Salus. I'm not really sure what's going on, to be honest, so I'm gonna go get changed. I'm gonna go, too. I'm gonna go with Tar. Don't you think it's weird, too, that they didn't offer Beatrice to get cleansed? She was in there with us. Beatrice isn't real, darling. No, she's real. Well, she's as real as magic can make her. She's as real as that horrific hippopotamus thing that you have. I don't have a hippo, but Peyton's very real. Oh, well.

Well, they're only so... You know what? Never mind. I think Beatrice is fine. She appreciates your concern. I'm going to go with Toa. And then as I get out of the hot spring, it's like... And there's a lot of water vapor that follows me out of the... We all agree that we saw everything, right?

I wasn't looking, I'm just staring at you. And I'm going, I fall down. I'll throw my robe on, you know, respectfully. You do that. I'm about to pass out. I can't even hold myself up, are you kidding me? Her just spinning slowly. Don't sink your claws into my inflatables.

You shoot across the air and start drowning. Just head first. Skipping like this. And that is where Virgia is dead. That's where Virgia dies. That's the end.

- You arrive back in the small inner chamber and everything is exactly where you left it. - Are we splitting the party? Is this just two? - Yeah, they're going. Anyone who else would like to join, if you wanna linger. - I'm staying in the hot springs with Iris. - And you're able to get dressed and perhaps wait for your friends and just be alone. - Yeah, I'll get dressed and I'll just sort of prepare and I'll wait. - Yeah, I would say we'd wait, but we're looking to go meet Captain Freewing. - Right. - Yeah.

We'll cap it for you, fanboys. Well, I guess if the guys are going, I'll probably go too. Well, have a good evening, Caprice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy. Gonna bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy. Give it everything you got for this wet ass pussy. And I back out of the fucking hot spring. What, what, what? What? I cast disintegrate on myself. What?

How rude! It's like he's never seen the cat bathe. Strange. I will never understand- Herja. Oh, she's not in here. Oh, Anubis. I've never met someone so strange as a teething. And I'm just gonna continue to hang out on the hot spring. God help us, Winnie. I'm so regretted it. Thank you, Winnie.

I didn't do it the best justice, but I think I did alright. So you join your friends. The three ladies are still in the hospital. I'm going to need some help getting Alana freed. Yes, unfortunate. Maybe you can call one of those girls. Oh, I have an idea. Oh, I can't hear you. Okay. So I'll get out of the water and go, Help! Help!

Help! Help me! What's wrong with you? Nothing. Oh, okay. Make a deception track. Oh, I should have left with Tua. Shh.

- 21. - 21. You immediately, you hear the loud heavy footsteps and clanging of metal. Although it's coming quickly, it's still very measured. And you see that there's a ladder in this as one of the orc guards runs down and begins to climb down. Do you need assistance? - I dropped my rope.

Is that what you need for assistance? Yeah. You see him like lean down and he grabs... Here you go, ma'am. Oh, thank you. Are you in immediate danger?

Not anymore. No, but I feel like I'm going to die. Where am I? I don't know. Are you? You, like, end on a sword. But maybe now? I don't know. His eyes are, he's maintaining perfect, complete eye contact on you. Maybe a little? No, it seems okay. Okay. I think I'm okay. I'll tie my belt. But while you're here, if you could drag the dwarf out of the water, she can swim. Yeah, she cannot swim.

I see. He reaches around and he actually pulls off, he has a sword and he has a spear, he pulls out the spear and he just kind of, it's like when you're trying to like fish something out of the pool and he's like leaning in. Thank you, lifeguard. And he finally catches it and then he... I'm hoping not the blade side. It's the back end and he gets you in the back end. Pardon me. And he drags you in and he reaches down and he heaves you out of the water. Thank you.

I don't know how to swim. You seem like you have taken precautions. With your help, yeah. If you didn't give me your spear, um, I might have drowned. Do you know what a wet-ass pussy is? No!

I presume it is a feline that has experienced a level of moisture. Thank you, that is exactly what I was thinking it was, but my friend Caprice was shouting at me egregiously as he exited the spa, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It was very strange. I see. Golden Lotus, you told me to keep special attention on this chamber.

And that is why I am still here. I am obligated and I must obey the call to help you with whatever else you need. May I be dismissed? Yes, please. Thank you. No, you're not showing him your nipples anymore, Lifty. Good day. Good day.

Good day. And he goes back to the ladder and he climbs up. So just be a really good day. He seems relieved. It's a steam. It's not called steam. Were you not listening to what Caprice was saying? It's the vapor. Thank you. Okay. Thank you.

I think I'm focusing too much on the things the priest is saying. I'm going to the room. I just stand up and I walk straight to the room without picking up my robe. I don't know, but we need to go see Captain Freewing immediately. I hope it's very important. Look, I hate to keep harping on it, but it seems like nobody else seems to care. Yeah, you know, I mean, I do feel very calm, but there is a horrible, deadly horde of demons right outside the city gates, so...

You know, I'm just trying to save people. I'm sure whatever they're doing or talking about, uh, or involving guards about is very, very important. Well, it's like I said before. Either it's... it'll be our problem until it just isn't. Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. Iris and Herrscher join you. Caprice is now in the room. He comes in a little bit later. And now Lufty is the only one in the hot spring.

Oh, am I? Yeah. Help! No, I would've left. You can stay behind if you want. No, no, the guards were not resenting. I'll leave. I know what I'm gonna want. It's 'cause they're on fucking weird-ass peace drugs. Regular.

- Nope. - I'm gonna pull Lufty aside at one point when she comes back. - Are you as surprised as I am that she only has two nipples? - Are you talking about my nipples? - No.

Or would you imagine? Nope. Not me. Yeah, I just kind of assumed that the rest were like under the waterline, you know? Well, I mean, she showed off. There was nothing to hide. Would you like to shave me, Hershey? If you say yes to this, I will kill you. Why?

I want to shave her? No, I want to shave her, you idiot. Then you should ask her. I don't want to shave her. I can't ask her. She didn't say, oh, you want to shave me. No. I think, I think, well, never mind. Mufti wants to shave you, not me. I did not say that. I just wanted to know how many nipples you had. Well, you would need to shave me to know how many nipples I have, don't you think?

And, like, is that on the table or no? I'm talking to her and I think, who is this chosen father that I thought it would be? But now I'm here, so... Why do I have to shave you to find out? Can't you just kind of... That would require me to do the work. If you're curious, then you would need to shave me.

Do it. Do it. Do it! I don't... I feel uncomfortable. I don't want to cheat. Good. That's exactly how I felt when I heard you talking to Lufty about my nipples. So snap it. We have work to do.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Iris. I think we're going to leave. If you could guide us to where we need to go, please. Captain Freewing. Captain Freewing in our quarters. No, no, no. What? Let them continue. No, no, we're good. We're fine. Please, we are ready to go. There are...

- Outer please, we can't hear you. - Creatures at the gate, there are horrible creatures at the gate. Millions could die. - Guilty, are you having problems breathing? - She's frustrated that I won't let her just shave me. It's irrelevant. - I think we're all frustrated. - I've had enough with anything that you say today.

Enough of it. I've seen Toa's penis. We've all seen it. It's unavoidable. I do not like this place. I would like to go back to Limbo. We're a floral family. Well, I sure hope not. The door's open.

And... Oh, thank God!

You are escorted out and you recall where your quarters were on that nice little lake that had a beautiful view off into the mountains.

As you make your way through the city, once again, you see this smoke and it's actually a lot closer. Ooh. And still... Oh, like the war smoke? Yeah. Oof. And you get the sense that the same level of peace and tranquility is over this town, that people don't seem to be alarmed. And you make your way up to your quarters, and as you turn in, you see...

You see someone sitting at one of the larger tables on a pillow, his legs are crossed, and there's some water vapor rising from a cup of tea. And you see Revali Freewing as he sits there. He's wearing not his usual attire, he's wearing a very plain, simple robe.

and he uh is he's holding the the uh his teacup by uh the little handle and he's just drinking and he just i'm gonna immediately walk up to him and uh captain freeway uh how are you feeling sir captain freeman how are you feeling sir hey freeway what's up buddy i'm i'm feeling great thanks thank you how are you relax relax what's the big deal i was just worried that you might

you know, still be in pain. I think he's had some of that strange, um, what did you call it? Calm water? Calm smoke? What? Water vapor? No. He's, like, he's strange. Why am I not strange? No.

Everything's groovy. Everything's good. Everything is great. I was healed. I had been feeling so much doubt and hatred and failure, and I spent days in the hot springs. And I felt great. I underwent the purification ritual, and I feel like a new man. I feel like I have purpose again. Oh, that's good. Was it peace and unity and then good for you as well? Yes, yes. Wait, you were purified as well? Yes.

It was wonderful. Why did they say that you needed to be purified? Because I had been... I was injured. I was wounded. I had... was feeling doubt and shame and hatred. Nothing to do with the slod? No, nothing to do with... what? Never mind. Wait, so like, um, when you look out the window and you see all the smoke, you feel nothing?

Calm? I feel calm. I feel good. I feel like I've... I feel a lot better than I have in a very long time. Oh, that's great. We're impressed with what I was saying. Yeah, yeah, you have it. I would like to ask a question. I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds on him. Wait, really? At a third level? Yeah.

How does that work? I'm gonna do it. I haven't played this character in a while. I'm gonna walk up to him. I'm going to touch him. And I have to roll to hit. I'm gonna roll my new dice. I don't know what it is. Let me get this trash dice out of there. That's 16 to hit on him.

I would say that he's not in a combat scenario, so it would be a willing, he would welcome a touch. Actually, roll a deception check if you're trying to be... Okay, I don't like these dice, so these dice are not great. That'll just affect the AC. I'm not good at deception. I'm not deceptive. I don't know, where is deception? I can't find it right now.

My question was going to be while she's looking up. Do we feel like we're different or like we don't have the ability to like be normal? I mean, like Felix would not just all of a sudden just be like extra calm unless you're saying that, yeah, you feel extra fucking calm. No, no. You feel as if you had a day, a relaxing day at the hot spring at the spa. So I'm still myself. I'm not, I don't feel different. I don't feel compelled to ignore obvious fucking danger. Right. Okay.

I just want to make sure. I just want to make sure. Six. And so what are you doing to him? Describe it. I was just going to touch him and cast Inflict Wounds. Okay. How does Inflict Wounds work? You touch him and immediately you see this like as her paw glows. It just does damage. The entire point of it is I want to see if he reacts normally like someone who's just been damaged or if he seems like almost under a stupor. As you do that, you see those coursing channels of...

of dark grave-like magic as it courses through his bare arm. And he says, "Iris, why would you do that? Iris, what's going on? What the fuck?" Does he seem like he's acting almost like muted?

I would say you don't even need to roll an insight check. You remember a bitter, spiteful guy and he seems to be way more even keel. He is not bitter and spiteful enough for me. He stumbles back, "Do you need some tea? Let's all just take a deep breath. "Let's settle down. Everybody just needs to calm down. "You all look like--" I'm completely calm. You don't need to scream at me for this, Felix. You can quite clearly look at Revali and see that he is not himself.

The Revali we know has far more pep and far more personality. He's relaxed. He's calm. Really? I can be relaxed and calm, but the moment I come up to you and I sink my dark magic into you, I promise you will no longer be relaxed and calm. Oh, I'm sorry. Can you make me feel better, please? Can you have some tea? No. Iris makes a good point. Why are you trying to chop her head off right now? I...

I used to be someone who was filled with anger and hatred and rage and bitterness.

But that's not me anymore. I guess, oh, no, ow, ow. I only have one arm, fuck. Sorry. I, after experiencing the healing and the tranquility of the eternal blossom, I see that that is what led me to the failures, to the loss, to the anger. And it was, there was no need for it. There was no need at all. You all look like you...

Did you even go to the hot springs? Captain Freeway, we did, but that's not important. You would tell me if they did something, do you, right? I underwent the purification. They purified me. They healed me. I feel better than I have in years. I thought about the times where I was at peace and where I felt good and where I was at unity is when there was structure in the...

at the Lockfeather Lodge and I felt like I was part of a larger thing, a process. And I realized that that was my whole obsession with freedom, my obsession with this being a free spirit, having these stupid wings of liberty. It was all useless. What? I see now.

No, no, no, the Wings of Liberty. Freedom is important. It's what we value. It's the whole reason that we joined up with you. Look at what that got us. I don't even know if the Lodge still stands. Look at... You took an oath, did you not? I did, but I do not care for that oath anymore. The Eternal Blossom has shown me that there is a better way.

There's a better way. I'm at peace, finally. Great. Then you can have the eternal blossom helium from your wounds. And he's like, kind of just sighs and goes to sip some of his tea. I forgive you. I do not need your forgiveness. Thank you, nonetheless. I'm defended for you. For me? Reach forward and pick up an empty glass. He's not himself.

Can I try some of that tea? Yes, of course. No. He reaches out with his, he pours it. Let him. Just smell it. Maybe he'll talk later. I'm going to smell it. It smells like some really delicious tea. Drink it. Hey, if we're, this is a little weird. You know what I'm like. Sometimes. It feels warm and pleasant. It has a beautiful aroma. And as soon as you swallow it, you feel warm. And it's delicious tea.

Seems nice. Just a hint of honey. Easy. I think I know what the problem is. I'm sure you do. You still haven't seen, and I know that Golan Lotus was worried about it. She probably didn't want to tell you because she was probably worried it would just make you less at peace. She worried that you would have a worse corruption than from Limbo. The touch of Zurn. You still have it on you. You haven't rejected him.

Oh no. That is why you are so not at ease. But Toa did. I kneeled for the king. Well and that distressful cat that I don't like told us that we did not need to do that. So...

Either you're lying, or she's lying, or the Golden Lotus is lying, because with your unity, you would think, your unity, your peacefulness, that you would all be on the same page, but I'm getting contradictory opinions. She did seem as if, despite Virgil Zurn's talents in you, she did say that she believed that she would be convincing enough to undo any kind of bonds you still had.

But I fear I can tell, obviously. Purification ritual. You are not purified. You are not calm. You really should. She didn't act like anything was wrong or that it didn't work. She just told us that we were purified. And she tapped us with her glaive. Yeah. I don't know. Perhaps she didn't want to worry you. Did you have something that you wanted to tell us specifically?

I was hoping that I wanted to tell you that I decided to stay here.

and live with the orcs of Mogra Kai after this is all over and we save the people. And I would ask you to do the same. So that's it. Why? You're just gonna say that freedom and liberty doesn't matter anymore. You're right. And you're gonna give up and stay here forever. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. You should do the same. Felix, you're not seeming to understand here, my darling, that this is not the Revali that we knew. This is a changed and corrupted Revali from...

The wonderful man that we'd met. And so we need to continue on our paths. And hopefully he can be saved someday. But for now... Then... We will let him be a pawn of someone stronger. I can't believe it. Did you not feel at peace when Golden Lotus purified you? Did you not feel the power of the Eternal Blossom? Yeah, for like a minute. But then I got out of the water. I'm done here.

I'm leaving. I'm going back to our rooms. I can't believe this. I refuse to believe it. There's no way. I'm leaving. I'm getting out of here. I say, yeah, do that. I'm going back to my room and I'm going to turn in. I'm going to go back to where we were previously staying. Remember there was a little courtyard area and he's sitting at the table out there and then there were little, kind of like little

Not villas, but little rooms. And as I leave, I'm gonna pull my hat down and move my collar up and I'm gonna put my hands on her body and just kind of look at Revali as I leave with Beatrice falling behind. You see a little bit of sadness come to Revali's face and say, I wish that he was open. I wish you all were open to finally being at peace. I really... Cern has done so much damage to you all. I was very open.

I didn't feel what you were describing. How do I be more open? How do I feel like you? No, he's not asking for you to be more open. Golden Lotus isn't asking for you to be more open. She's asking you to lose yourself, to give yourself to whatever this being is, and become a simple puppet or a pawn, like our dear Rivali has done.

I serve the golden lotus. I'm obedient to the eternal blossom. I'm obedient to the eternal blossom, but that has brought me more peace than my obsession with my ideals and principles. It's foolish. It's not practical. I was miserable my entire life. But now I feel at peace for the first time. And I wish, I hope you all...

I hope that we can save you. Whatever's been done to you to cloud your judgment, to corrupt you, I'm sure Golden Lotus will be able to figure it out. Can I have some more tea? Yes, of course. Thank you. And in the meantime, that's this piece of parchment. Can you write down how you're feeling now and sign it for me? Maybe you date it to sort of, just to get a status. Hmm.

He takes it. Well, Ravalli, Freewind, I have met you and I'm glad to no longer know you.

and I turn around and I'm going to follow and head directly to where I think Felix would have gone to. Okay, you go into Felix and Lufti's room. I believe that was the sleeping arrangements. Oh, that's right. That's a fateful night. And so if you didn't lock the door, you'd be able to easily open to Lufti and Felix. Yeah, definitely. No, I would not have locked anything. It would have just been me returning to where we were all staying. Yeah.

- Yeah, so yeah, there's the kind of-- - Are we in a common area? - Yeah, there's a common area, and so, well, he's in the common area, so you would have to get away from Revali. - Oh, I didn't realize that he was literally outside of where we're standing. - Yes. - Oh, then I would just go right to my room. - Okay, yeah, so he's in-- - Our room. - He's in our room, yes. - Yes, Conrad. - Exactly right. And Iris immediately turns. He looks at it again. I don't understand. I thought that Iris, of all people, would understand the importance of serving.

We're all here. You're acting very strange. He can do whatever you ask him. Would I have heard him say that? Uh, yeah, I would say so. I turn and pause for a moment. I do understand the purpose of serving. Not once in all the years I've served Anubis has he asked me to give up who I am. And that is the difference.

and I turn around and I go into Felix's room. - He just kinda hangs his head sadly and he shakes his head a little bit as he passes you whatever you asked for of him. - Primarily just like a, how are you feeling and can you call it? - Oh, yeah. - The parchment. - I thought you were just talking about the tea. - No, no, no, I wanted a status update. - It would say like, at peace, calm, tranquil, content. - And his name. - Yep, Revaldi Freewang. - In his handwriting. - Yep. - Okay, thank you, very kindly.

This seems kind of fun that you are in this state. Do you know any fun games? No, I don't think I've ever... When I was a kid, I think we did Zentra and the... It's teaching a game. Seven Heavens. You never played a game? We did, like, Hoopstick. Let's see.

Like hide the pickle? - Yikes. - But he grew up. - Yeah, hide the pickle. - I don't know how he grew up. - Hide the pickle, I think some of the girls at the Bee-- - Just like Christmas time, you know? - At the Bee would talk about that, but I had to leave the room when they would play that. - Yeah.

That was a silly game. Oh, why do you want to play? I'm not fair! Stop looking at me! Who said that? Well, I was going to suggest Thumbsworth, but he can't play that. Red Rover, but he can't play that. Oof.

Shit. Can't do the YMCA. Go play chess. Do you have a chess board? I do not have a chess board, no. I don't know if I know what chess is. Dragon chess. Oh, dragon. Well, I will stay with you for a little while because I'm sort of a night owl and I'd be happy to just sort of chill and enjoy this tea with you if that's fine. Yeah, there's enough tea for everyone. I'll get another pot started. As peaceful as you feel, I'm telling you these words straight out.

fucking cuckoo. Everything's crazy, Bojangles, and you need to understand that when I show you this paper next, that you will be incredibly shocked and feel tears down your face. Golden Lotus did say that you might say that to me, and I'm just trying to be

that you would try to kind of pull me away from the happy life. They say that misery loves company. I would never try to pull you away. You should enjoy it. Let's play a game. You have some more tea. Thank you. And he drinks, yeah? Yeah.

I'm going to get some sleep. I hope you're happy. I really am. I am. I'm looking forward. I hope you all enjoy and stay with me and enjoy life here once we save the people and defeat Baphomet. Oh yeah, absolutely. I don't think we'll be doing that, but I'm looking forward to fighting by your side again. I'll miss you. Good night. Good night. And I will return it to my quarters.

Yeah, which is actually, yeah. Even though Iris is with me right now. So you return to your room, which is your room. And I will, without a word, I'll start praying to the wind spirits. Thank you. You're the best. Thank you. That's all you, brother. Oh, shit. That's not gonna kill you. I'm just kidding. Revali, we're gonna learn patty cake. Oh, fuck. Yes.

You're such an asshole. I know. I don't know what that is. No, I think I'll go to bed too. You guys ready for bed? I feel like Hannah was like ramped up the game, but I guess. I think I'm going to ask him some questions. Yeah? Ooh, like, uh, never have I ever. We could try that too. Or 20 questions? 20 questions? Oh, that's a good one. Or 10 questions if you don't have that much time.

Well, I... Do you want to stick around, or are you going to be... If you guys are going to play a game, I'll stick around. I mean, I'm exhausted, but I'm always up. Enjoy some tea. Sit with us for the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you like some tea? It's surprisingly non-effectual. Oh, yeah. Then I'll just go sit in this game. Is there, like, a chair or something next to him that I could, like, lock up? Yeah, there's, like, a series of seats around the table. It's a circular...

Seeing that there's some cups there, I'll just plop down and put my shield and my Dakota down for a second and I'm gonna grab a teacup and pour some ale in it that I have in my bag and just start sipping it. And then I will look at Lofty and say, "Well, do you want to stick around for this?" Question asking? Yeah!

- Ori. - I don't know, do I not? You're scaring me now. - Well, you've seen this before and I'm going to cast a Zone of Truce. - Okay. What's the DC on that? - Holy hell. - And what's that? - Charisma 15. - 15.

Are you able to see if he succeeds or fails? Yeah. You would know that he succeeds. You know if they try to resist, right? You don't know if they fail or pass, right? You just know if they try to resist. I'm pretty sure with Zone of Truth, no matter what happens, you know what state they're in. Okay.

That makes sense. I think we've always ruled it, I think. On a failed save, a creature can't speak a deliberate lie. In the radius, you know whether each creature succeeds or fails on its own. There you go. And the affected creature is aware of the spell and can thus avoid answering questions. I'm plugging in my thing. I'm certainly not blowing Derek's. Well, it's starting to look good. Hold on, I gotta check to see if it's good again. I gotta wait. I gotta check. I gotta make sure. I gotta see if it's okay here.

- We're gonna get banned. - That was great. - I'm so banned. - And we're banned. - So fucking banned. - Oh boy. - My phone, my phone was dying. - What do you want? - We used D&D Beyond. - Thank you so much for the raid. - We used D&D Beyond. - We're playing Dungeons & Dragons, so enjoy. - With D&D Beyond. - Great name.

I'm upset. So as the magic glows, a kind of warm glow of the Forge of Moradin kind of washes over everyone, and he just kind of looks at you, and he nods and says, What is your first question? Put it on the menu. Wow. I was going to ask you, when did you wake up today? I woke up at sunrise. Did you wake up by yourself? Yes, of course. I'd been here for several days after I was fully healed and purified.

You've been gone a week. I was very worried, but I was reassured by Golden Lotus. She said that you, she believed you would return. Can you tell me a week ago what happened? A week ago, you all left and I was brought to the hot springs. I was healed. My infection was purified and I went through the purification ritual and I felt at peace for the first time in so long. Can you...

Can you tell me what you told her when she asked you the purification questions? That's private, I'm sorry. Well, we're all sharing openly here. Yes, that's pretty rude. I'm happy to tell you what I told her. I'd like to keep that private. Thank you. It's better to keep those sort of thoughts to yourself. Why? Because the more that you share with just the Eternal Blossom, the tighter the bond. What do you know about the Eternal Blossom? I just know that I...

I feel her presence, I feel her tranquility, I feel her unity, I feel her harmony, her goodness, the order. There was such disorder and chaos in my life before, and as I have... As soon as I was purified and was worthy of the Eternal Blossom's golden light. Did you feel her golden light when you came here first? Oh no, I was blind. I was blind to it. I was bitter, I was angry, I hated myself, I hated the world, and I...

I regret who I was. When would you say you first felt like a glimmer of the light? What were you doing? When I was purified. In the ritual. In the ritual that we all shared? Yes. And did you get tapped with the glaze? She tapped it on the ground, yes. And I felt just calm wash over me. I felt the chaos...

and the anger leave my body, I felt like I was a new man. Felt the calmness, the tranquility come over me. - And from that moment on, it was night and day. It was just, as soon as you tapped her glaive, you were serene as a Hindu cow. - I felt amazing.

Do you remember what you said to Peyton on top of the mountain before we got here? I don't. That's because the DM doesn't remember. Oh, okay. Well played, well played.

Out of character, it would have been like, you said some pretty awful things when you were writing on Peyton and we had a back and forth and I was like, hey, you need a hand? And we were like making fun of each other and he was very hostile towards Persia and Peyton. Oh, I do remember that. I'm so sorry. That's not who I am anymore.

And you must understand that this is an improvement. I become a better person. I said such horrible things to you and Peyton, dear Peyton, who I love and appreciate very much now. And I see Peyton's place in this thing where the older of all he would have been disgusted at such a thought.

Alright, I'm gonna try something. Hold on. Oh boy, here we go. Buckle up, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know, I don't know. You don't know. Oh, it's one of my once-per-day packs. Hold on. He loses his penis. Yeah, Revali is terrified of losing his member. Um... I do hope you'll all forgive me for the person I was. No, yeah, I forgive you. There was nothing to forgive. I thank you, I appreciate that.

Okay, I will... Hey, hey, can I maybe give you a little bit of a massage just to continue to increase your peace? Yes. See, the old me would have been disgusted by what an inappropriate creep you are, but I would never believe that. It's fine, it's fine. Look, I can do the shoulders and then my tail can do the center of your back. See, that would have... Oh, baby. Mmm.

As this happens, I'm going to spend an action to cast Dispel Magic, which I can do once per day. Okay. How does that work? It allows me to end a spell of third level or lower, point blank. Instantly. But a spell of fourth level or higher on the target has to make an ability check, and I have to go using my spellcasting ability. DC equals 10 plus the spell's level, and on a successful check, the spell ends.

So if he's under a spell, then I can target and try to dispel that. Yeah, tunnel it. It's similar to, like, a counterspell. Got it, got it, got it. If it's higher than level three. Got it. So I would say that you use Dispel Magic while you're... And you see kind of a faint glow around Caprice's hands. And he...

And kind of washes over him and he says, "Ah, that's nice. Thank you." You're welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I appreciate that. No problem. You feel even more at peace, perhaps? I feel very peaceful, yes. Thank you. I feel very relaxed. I'm getting a little tense worrying about you all dearly. I don't think you should feel tense at all. Not even a little. That's fine. Thank you for your time.

And I return to my seat and pour myself some more tea. So, what's on the, uh... What you got planned for tomorrow, Revali? What's on your schedule? I'm going to wake up at dawn and have some time alone with the Eternal Blossom. I will root you on while you do what you must to save Mogra Kai and these people. You won't be joining us? I am not willing to fight. I am not able to fight.

I've learned that, but I do not have to. Everyone has their own place. Everyone has their own place in the order of things. So what's your place? What's your place in the city?

I will do the best I can to find that place. I know that right now I just need to pray and increase my spiritual connection to the Golden, to the Eternal Blossom. You're a strong fighter. I feel like you should join us. I mean, I know that you're very peaceful right now, but the Golden Blossom Flower isn't going to have any issue with you joining us in this effort to do good and achieve peace and unity.

With one arm, I feel I'm afraid I will be unable to be an aid. I know that if I desired it, I could, but that's who the old Revali was. There is no path forward for me reverting to my old ways, bringing a sword and vowing to get revenge and kill. That what I

So you... Oh...

So you will remain unemployed until the Eternal Blossom tells you what to do. Yes, I'm going to sit here and pray and be at peace. I was told that I had a lot of hostility and anger and bitterness. It is a process to work through all of that. I'm still not quite at the level that I should be, but I'm working towards it.

I just want you to know, Revali, that regardless of what you and I have been through, I had no hard feelings towards you. I know that you have many regrets for the person that you once were, but it's important to acknowledge who you once were as a foundation of who you are now, rather than completely erasing who that person is and changing yourself to be someone you're not. I do acknowledge, but that is because I acknowledge is why I need to...

Being as obsessed as I was, it brought me nothing but pain. Nothing but pain. And so now I'm happy. Now I serve. And you should do the same. I've served for a long time. This is, as you have said, I guess sort of my path. Who else will protect this city if not us? If you are not planning on fighting with us...

then who in the eyes of the Eternal Blossom will fight? You all will fight. The Warchief will fight. The soldiers will fight. I am now... I'm no longer a fighter. I am a spiritualist. Well, I hope you can understand that's why I've chosen not to follow your path. Because I need to fight for those that can't fight for themselves. Well, perhaps after this is all over, we can all be together and serve. Thank you for the tea. I wish you well, Mr. Wing.

and I will see you in the morning or perhaps after the terrible calamitous battle I set down the cup and ladies until next time I make my way to my room sleep well Caprice sleep well I'll get up and do the same thing I'll plop I'll finish my ale and plop the teacup on top of his and be like well have a good night and all the best I hope you survive this sleep well I'll follow him into the bedroom

Do you need some more tea? I'll just back out of the room going. Now you go into the room and I guess when all that's been happening, you've been in the same room and you're just by yourself. Yeah, I would just be given. I would be exhausted and I would have gone to bed pretty quick. There you go. Okay. I just open the door and slide in. Felix? Yeah, Iris, what's up?

First, I would like you to say, "Iris, you were always right." Okay, fine. When you first-- I won't tell anyone. When you first mentioned it, I began to notice it. But I didn't believe it until he said that he didn't believe in the wings of liberty anymore, and freedom. Something's wrong with him, and yeah, fine. You were right, Iris. You were right. You were right. I'm not going to stay long, but we both need to do some thinking.

about how we resolved this. The Golden Lotus cannot be trusted. Whatever this entity is they speak of cannot be trusted. They are taking... They are taking everything from these people. They took everything from Ravalli. And I did not like him initially, but I still wanted him to be him. Look, I know. I agree. I don't trust them. And...

We have to pretend like we do. I let Revali know too much just how much I distrust everything. In the morning, we should walk... We should toe the line. Pretend as if we believe what they're saying, and pretend that we are in it to help them. All the while knowing that they more than likely are the enemy. For Revali,

We have to do this for her, Molly. And I need you to help convince Caprice because God knows I never can. And someone's going to have to explain it to Hersha. Maybe we make... Maybe we draw a picture book or something for her to understand what we mean. And then what? We could make a little... We could take a chicken.

You see, I saw this once. You take chicken and you mince it and then you bread it and you form it into little shapes. We could make chicken shapes and as we feed it to Hersha in the morning, we could explain the simple task of pretending that we believe, not actually believing, but pretending we believe, you see. You lost me when you brought in

Chicken, but look, I don't, it doesn't matter. It will work. Even so, if that's the case, then I couldn't save Revali and now there's something wrong with him. And I couldn't save Milo and I'm not going to be able to save Caprice. And I don't know what you want me to do. I'll play along for now, but we can't just keep pretending like these things are going to work themselves out. No, and they never do work themselves out. We overcome them.

We band together. Where I am weak, you are strong. Where one of us fails, someone else will rise above it all. And together we are unbreakable. So we will pretend tomorrow. And when the battle finally comes, we will save them all. Because we have to. I have faith in you. I do not know your dark past. Honestly, I don't really care. It's a problem for someone else, that's for sure. But I do care about you a little bit.

So, I say this with all the kindness I can muster. Get the fuck over it, Felix. There are bigger things happening right now, and Toa might be naked in the room. I cannot believe I said that. It's been a long day. Yeah. I'm going to keep working on the Caprice problem. Right. For now. I think we might need to switch roommates. I'm not sure Toa will feel comfortable having seen me naked.

So I might send him here. If Lufty shows up, tell her to come over, um...

I get to remove Toa again? Yes. Done. Perfect. You hear in your brain... It would be focused. Deal. I'm going to keep working. Yes. Think of anything you can. Yes, and tomorrow we'll agree to work with Rivali, and I'll deal with Toa and Caprice. And Felix, you're stronger than you think you are. I have no doubt.

Goodbye. Yeah, goodbye. Don't cry, it's pathetic. I open the door and I leave. And then they're all still doing their thing as I sidle over to the room. And I'm going to sneak in, assuming Toa's asleep. Toa. I can't walk over there. Toa? Felix, is that you? Toa. Oh, Aris. Yes.

Yes, that's what I said. I need you to get out of this room. You need me to leave? Yes, immediately. Felix is in dire need of you. Oh, you need prophecy? Oh, alright. No, no, I'm perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with me at all. I have no issues whatsoever. I'm clear-minded, clear-headed. I'm strong...

I need you to get out of this room. Felix is very weak. He's pathetic. He's sad. He's probably bowling his eyes out right now. Is he hurt? Yes, emotionally and physically. I should really be there to help him. Yes. You'll watch my things? No, take them. Lufty will be rooming with me going forward. Oh, you mean that I'm... I'm kicking you out, Toa. Oh, even though I was already asleep and you were awake? Toa! You could have switched rooms. And Felix is awake right now. You could have sent him here. Toa!

I'm just trying to figure, I'm just very sleepy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not myself when I'm tired. When you wake me up abruptly, I'm sorry. All right. There was a folly in my thinking. Yay. But that was because I'm so distressed over Felix's mental state. Yeah. There's no other reason. All right, well, could you let me get dressed? Yes. Thank you.

I will wait outside. Yes, yes, I'll wait outside. And I open the door and I... So I'll get out of all my, you know, just try to wake up and I'll get out of bed and I'll, like, get dressed. Put your loincloth on. Put my...

- You're like, okay. - I'll have to like all my things. - You have to like tie it and then retie it a few inches lower and then continue like that. - Yikes. - And so then I will leave the room and I say, okay, thank you, Aras, for letting me know that Felix needs me. - You're very welcome to. - Do I? - Have a great night. We'll see you in the morning. - And I'll walk and, so this is all happening while-- - Yeah, and so then you would get back to Felix. - Okay. Hey, Felix.

Oh, hey buddy, turns out we're gonna be rooming again together. Are you okay? Are you feeling alright? Are you in danger? I mean... Feeling poorly? No, I mean, I'm working on some problems. I'm worried about Caprice, and of course I'm worried about Revali, but I mean, I'm okay relatively speaking, I guess. Really? I mean, Aros just told me that you were emotionally and physically distressed in some kind of way, and that I could help you somehow. Yeah.

Huh. That sounds like Iris, I guess. Yeah, I'm just... I think she was just exaggerating. I'm just trying to figure out how I can help Caprice. And I gotta see if there's time. I mean, the golden load is that we have two days. Two days. And if they have some sort of library or collection of knowledge, then maybe they have some access to magic. I mean, something's going on here. Something is not...

Oh, it's all right. Up to snuff. It doesn't make sense. And maybe they've got something that can help me help the priest. And whether that is sealing off that portion of his brain or making it so that he physically can't say the words, I don't want to have to cut his tongue out, but, you know. I think if you could make some kind of magical...

Well, that was Lufty's idea. I just want to say. No, don't cut his tongue out. I don't want to. It was Lufty who said those words. I didn't want it. I didn't want to do that at all. He tells funny jokes. How would he ever tell a funny joke again? Let me know when I would get back. You're in a separate room. I feel like with a deck right now.

That one. You're in a private room with that one. Yeah, you are. Alright, well just... I'll be here. I'm gonna go to bed, but just wake me up if you need anything. It's fine. I'm okay. I appreciate you asking. I'm just gonna... I'm gonna work. I mean, you know me. It's...

I'll work into the evening and I'll get plenty of sleep and it'll be fine. All right, well, at the very least, I'll keep you company and I'll just be right over there and I'll just point to my side of the hut and whatever. Thanks, Toast. Sleep well, friend. Thank you. And I'll get into bed and I will hold my little wind spirit figurines out and I'll just sort of like, I'll probably stay up for a little while longer and just sort of keep an eye on Felix as he's studying and then I'll go to sleep.

Then Lufty shows up. Oh, to our room? Yeah, because that's where she lives. Oh, yes, our room, Conrad. So Mike said, then Lufty shows up to our room. Is it Keaton the Dwarf? Of course not. No, he would never do that while we're live. He would absolutely never do that while we're live. And the players at the table should not expose him for that. It is inappropriate. He would never do that, by the way. I understand.

- So Lufty shows up. - So I'll sidle in the door. - Oh! - It's not the toilet flushing, right? - Oh, uh, uh. Lufty, what are you doing? - What? What are you doing? - What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm studying. Oh, you didn't get the memo. - What? - You're rooming with Iris again. - Says who? - Iris?

Well, and me. I mean, Toa's here. But you have no authority here. And I point to Toa sleeping on the bed. No, but Iris told me. Iris is going to be really mad if you don't show up to her room. Lufty, what are you doing? You'll know what I'm doing. No, I don't know what you're doing. Oh, yes. Are you going to make me go get Iris? I don't know, am I? What? She's going to be really mad if I wake her up.

Damn it. As you are not currently, I don't know, giving her a bed, a place to sleep on? Goddammit, you're right. Well, I need something to get me through the night. Oh, okay, what? I don't know what you have to offer. Um, I mean, I'm working on something. It's very important. I don't know how I can show you what I'm working on. That bores me. Why? It's pretty interesting. It's magic. It has to do with... Leon. What? Leon.

That sucks. Excuse me? Just turn and face the wall. No, no, I need to keep writing. I need to keep reading. Why would I turn and face the wall? I need to work. You need to go back to your room. You're staying with Iris now. Toa and I are roommates again. As the way it's always been and the way it always will be. Fine, I will leave. Thank you. It's cold out there. Yeah.

Yeah. And I will fake sneak out the door. What do you mean fake sneak out the door? I will try to fake sneak out the door. Okay, well, you gotta roll something or something. I'm not blind. I mean, you know, Dan, you wanna... And the door opens and then the Lufty just like standing there. Her head is very clearly sticking out. Lufty?

I'm up here. I'm coming away. Lufty. What are you doing? Go to Iris. Go. I have work to do. Toa is sleeping. You're going to wake him up. It would be terrible. He's going to be cranky if you wake him up. I'm going to creep across the floor and climb into bed with Toa and big spoon him. What the hell? What in the nine hells is going on here? Do I wake up?

Do you? Do you? That's your choice. Do you? I'm being very gentle. Like the wind. I would be pretty dead asleep. So unless something were to happen that were to actively wake me up, I don't think Toa would wake up. Then I will 90, 180 degree turn my neck and look at Toa. Or not Toa. Felix. Like an owl. And then I will sneak out of the door. Okay.

As soon as she crosses the threshold of the door, I whip my hand around, slam the door with Mage Hand, and lock the door. Are you okay, Felix? It's fine until I go back to bed. Oh, thank you. Thank you for tucking me in, by the way. I'm all up and up to sleep.

Then I'm just going to look at Toa and look at the door and be like, "Raven Queen, help me." Then I'm just going to give back to him. You continue to work and then eventually, Lufti, I think that while--

And then at that point, I guess you guys would have arrived back at your room. I would have arrived actually first because I was the first of the ones to leave. So I would have made myself comfortable in my room and I discover a bowl of pistachios, all e-shelled. And I'm just thinking about musical compositions and sort of... It's so good. I'll enter. I'll knock. Knock.

Are you feeling relaxed not relaxed

Oh, I know. I'm super stressed out. Yeah, me too. Very much. Extremely very. What the fuck happened to Revali? I don't know. I called him Mr. Wing and I thought he'd be like, Mr. Free Wing. And he didn't need to say a fucking thing. No, he always corrects us. No, and I'd be like, no, Free Wing, and it was going to be a great comeback, but he completely avoided it. That's fucked.

I know. Glad these pistachios are here. You want a pistachio? Yeah, actually I do want one. I'm taking a handful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright. You tired? Oh, I didn't have any of that tea. I don't know. Are you feeling good? I'm... I could go to sleep. Sure.

As opposed to what? Not going to sleep? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I usually stay up till the wee hours, you know? And then I go to sleep, and that's why I'm always waking up late. Oh, aye, aye. No, no, that makes sense now. You're always the last to wake up. That's for sure. Okay, well, I'm probably going to head to bed then. Great. All right, cool. There's your bed. I will...

Try to chew quietly. Oh, that won't keep me up. You have to chew a lot louder than that for me to hear it. Sounds like a hoover sucking up gravel. Jesus. Imagine if they didn't show.

I got a hair. Looks like you got some pistachios you haven't de-shelled there. No, I got hair. Oh, don't forget to brush your teeth.

I will not forget that. Thank you, Herja. You're always very considerate. I'll start getting ready for bed and put some fresh woolen puffy socks on. They're very puffy. They're warm. They've actually done your laundry for you and everything is pristine and laid out. It's warm and the fluffiest that you've experienced probably since you got to Striga. I'm going to just tuck her down into bed and

Roll in there and... Sweet dreams. If you want to turn into some sort of animal, I still got a little juice left. Oh, with any animal! Anything you want, I can do it. Oh, can you turn me into Peyton? Wait, no, I'll summon Peyton first, and then you can turn me into Peyton. I mean, I can turn you into a musk ox. I can't turn you into Peyton. Well, yeah, that would be great. Would you like that? Yeah!

Done. Okay, hold on. I need ten minutes. And I hop out of bed and take all my shit out and start scumming Peyton for ten minutes. Peyton erupts into the room and the bed is immediately splintered. As you are pushed to the sides of the room, the corners, and...

It's very tight, even with just the one thing in there. Okay, okay. Now it's your turn to turn me into Peyton. This ought to be fucking good. Can we go outside or something? You're going to turn into a hairy beast. Hold on, Peyton, just back it up a little bit, girl. Yeah, nice and easy. No, there's probably some room in the corner. There is not room in the corner. Back what up?

No, I'm talking to Peyton, not to you. Okay. You're a skinny legend. You don't take up any room at all. I just... Where's the door now? I can't really see it. It's here. It's like you're able to slip out. Okay, so I slip out. Come on, Herja. You want to be a musk ox? Find out what it's like to be Peyton? Yeah. Okay, I'll jump out. Hold on, Peyton, back it up. And then I'll try to...

wiggle onto her she's stuck in the thing her horns like kind of tries to join you and her horn just kind of uh clack against the door frame i cast polymorph on you turning you into a muskox i don't know what they sound like what can you make the noise again some kind right like a cow somewhere between a cow and a goat yeah no cow trot up to peyton and like in the doorway and i'll try to like nuzzle her through the big feet right yeah

There you go. They're actually not on there. So they're not. They're not. Yeah. She lovingly nuzzles you. It's kind of like the like the glass and like a prison. And but she's very she goes she doesn't really fully get. She spiritually understands that it's you, but she has no idea what the fuck's going on. You can tell by the connection. Yeah, but she's like she she she's

lovingly nuzzles you and is very, very pleased and confused, but very pleased. I'm in the outdoor area where we have that central fire. Yeah. And I'll just sit down on one of the chairs watching her interact with Peyton. And you see off at the side, Revali's still up, but he's off like in the darkness meditating by the lake.

I communicate with Peyton that, oh, it's me, it's me, don't worry, it's just me. She seems very excited. Can you come out? Maybe we can go outside the room. She tries. Oh, no. She's stuck. She's stuck. You're a big girl. Oh, you grew up so fast. You're a good girl. The side table just shatters. You got it. You got it. I don't have any other shoes. That's okay.

The pistachio shells are fucking everywhere. The poor boy. I look over at him. I'm trying to pay attention, but I'm... And meanwhile, in Toa and Felix's room, they're hearing, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Does that sound like a muskox to you? Oh, never mind, Toa, you're asleep.

Investigate muskox noises. I think I can dismiss her. So I will dismiss her and then I'll look over kind of expectantly at Caprice. Here's a fun question. Does concentration end when you fall asleep? The moment that I go...

Oh, perfect. Okay. And I'll, like, um, I'll walk over to Caprice and see that he's in an uncomfortable position and I'll try to, like, Hey, wake up! Damn it. And I'll just, like, fire him and carry it right over my shoulder. And I'll say, You did it!

- Yes, exactly. - And they go to sleep. - Okay, you guys settle into bed, you go to sleep. Lifty arrives at Iris and Iris, I don't know if you're sleeping at this point. - I am just head under the bed pretending to be asleep. - Lifty joins you, very sexually frustrated. - Head under the bed. - Dear Diary, I got very close tonight. Tell you more later.

Every single page is that sentence. 314 pages. I'll tell you more later. I'm going to start a journal tonight. I got that close tonight. I'll tell you more next time. Oh my god.

And so you settle off to bed, Iris. You stop pretending to be asleep, and you are able to fall asleep. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legendsofavantris.

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