Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 36 | Unnatural Law: Part 2
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Hey man, welcome to Legends of Adventress. I'm Toa Komonui and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's basically what happened last time. You enter this city. You get the scent of saffron in the air. You are going to love it here. Things are perfect.

It seems pretty nice. Does it? You are here because Lotus said that she saw your arrival in the blossoms and she sees all. Now that you are trusted by the Warchief and we are in the Sacred Grove, not even the powerful magics of Virgil Zurn.

can peer through this veil. I can tell you where you will be going and how you will be saving us from Baphomet, the Rod of Seven Parts, reforged into the Rod of Law. You mean to tell me that you have in your current possession right now

Six of the seven pieces? Yes, of course. And do you know exactly where the last piece is? I do. The Servant of the Eternal Blossom is a traveler of the planes. The plane of Chaos Limbo. It is held in a place that cannot be traversed by fiends, by celestials, by dragons, elementals, aberrations. Only humanoids...

Did you, uh, hear that? Yeah, I heard it. Yeah. Hey, how are ya? I am so good! How are you? Uh, I... I'm fine, I guess. What's your name?

Did you not introduce me? My name is Hiyaki. Hisaki, pardon me. Hiyazaki? Hisaki. It's nice to meet you, Hisaki. Can I respond to you telepathically, or do you want to speak? Yes, of course you can. Oh. We won't be able to hear each other in limbo. In our heads? No, there'll be horrible chaos all around us.

Of course. So we need to communicate... So we need to communicate like this? Yes, exactly right. Can you guys hear me when I think my thoughts in my head? Yes. We're all connected now.

Oh, wow, this is really weird. You see as this massive creature glides over to you, looming. It is a huge creature. And despite it being so massive, it moves with elegance and grace. And you see it land. But as it lands, you see that the grass parts slightly, but never actually touches the ground as it hovers a mere inch above. How do we...

Go forward. How do we get there? You all get on my back. Please don't read my mind. All right. I already am. How old are you? Older than you can imagine. What are you? I get on its back. You climb up, and as you grab onto its mane, it's...

You hear the voice in your head say, well, I'm a Kirin, of course. I will follow Iris, wordlessly. I'm just going along. I'll hop on. I'll hop on, too. I'll get immediately on. Are you all ready? Yeah. Yes. Yeehaw. Let's go.

So a few things first. We hope this will be a safe flight through the limbo. The exits are all around you, but if you do exit the Kirin, you will be torn apart in the elemental chaos. Okay, that's good to know. Fantastic. We'll stay. So we'll stay on your back and we'll be fine.

And the chaos around the citadel is quite treacherous. Swirling elements and horrible creatures all around. There are about three paths that we can take. One is the one that's quickest is the most treacherous. The one that is the shortest is... The one that is the quickest is the most treacherous. The one that is the safest, but that's all a relative term, is going to still... is going to take us the longest. And then there's another pathway that is about a little bit in between. Mm-hmm.

What do you want me to do? I'm voting for the Goldilocks path. What do you guys think? We have time. I don't think we need to rush this. I'm not sure what the time flow is like between planes and what we should expect on the other side, but we know that we have some time. There's no reason to rush this, right? Well, how long is the shortest path? How long will it take us? Yeah. Oh, the shortest path should only take us about 20 minutes. Oh, that's very quick. That's very quick.

That's right! Yeah! Yeah! I unplug his batteries. There are no batteries on this. You can't turn this off. I'm in your mind. Fire lights in his eye and he starts going... Is anyone else imagining Charlie the Unicorn? Yeah, 100%. I do it all for the Eternal Blossom. She is my love. And how about the longest path? The longest path will take us about an hour.

- Oh. - We should just do the longest. - Done. - As long as there's no weird time stuff. - Oh, there's plenty of weird time stuff, but hopefully we don't get caught up in it.

An hour in this limbo plane, is that going to be the same hour as in the prime material plane, in the one-to-one analog style, or are we going to come back and it's like a hundred years later and everything's totally fuck-jangled? Well, unless anything goes horribly fuck-jangled in limbo, we should be fine. Well, then I'm sure we'll be just fine. But Shivachu does have mastery and power over time, so who knows? Well, we should get there in the longest way possible.

That sounds good to me. Let's go. And with that... One more question. Yes, one more. Should we, like, keep our mouths shut or anything, like, when we're there? Unless you want a tadpole in your mouth. I do not. Okay. Probably you should. Let's go! I'm so glad you asked that. I think you did mention how long the middle time would take. Woo-hoo!

You all feel yourselves. You all feel yourselves. What the fuck is happening? I don't know. Does anyone know what spaghettification is? Mikey's having a mental break. Spaghettification? Yeah, unfortunately. I'm very aware of it. Your cells get spaghettified as you feel your stomach leave get pulled in a similar sensation that

that you had experienced when Alkyra the Thunderfury shifted you to the Elemental Planet Air. And you suddenly come back to yourself and you're all gripping tight the beautiful white and gold mane as...

Suddenly you hear crashing, crackling, smashing, swirling as all around you is absolute pure chaos. You see air, water, fire, earth floating in all directions, lightning streaking the sky. You see creatures swirling around, some small, some massive.

As the wind whips around, as you are almost immediately pulled around, as you see great massive clouds of crackling orange and purple and energy of every color you can imagine, as you almost feel like you're trying to get torn, be torn off, and you feel almost every moment the gravity is changing, and you see as you all float for a moment, and you start swirling around, and with a flash of gold,

The Kirin flashes gold and sprints out and begins to gallop, flying at an extremely fast pace. As he guides around, he's like, "Welcome to Limbo!" As he begins to arc to the left and swirl around as you see a massive cloud of swirling, chaotic energies all around you. You see bits and blinks of strange gateways and portals open up in the distance and close.

at a moment's notice. And you are, it's hard to, you've been to the Elemental Plane of Air and that was definitely unsettling. This is far more bizarre and absurd than anything that you've experienced extraplanar. And as you make your way, you hear the voice in your head. "Well, isn't it great that we can all talk with our minds?"

- Do we feel like we're going very fast? - Yes, you're going-- - Do I feel like there's any risk of flying off though? - Thank you, LaRouche. - Thank you, LaRouche. - Thank you, LaRouche. - Don't ask that question. - At the immediate, no. So, Kizaki's flying-- - We're not struggling to hold on. - You are going 240 feet per six seconds.

So you are rocketing as the Kirin Hizaki is dashing.

- I ask Felix to use Minor Illusion to make me look like the bottom part of myself is made out of a Pop-Tart and have a cloak of rainbow that's flying behind me as you shoot through the sky. - As she asks this of me, I scream, "I don't know fucking Minor Illusion." - What could I do then? - So. - I can make a hand roll up and then open my mouth.

- I have faith, you seem very powerful. Please give us this safely. - I'll do my best. Good thing we chose the safest route. And you see as he is darting through, rushing as you are all grabbing on as you are rocketing through limbo. And you see all around you as, we'll see what happens here.

Please roll multiple d100s, I'm so ready. I'm so fucking ready. Is this what we're doing? We're in the nearest bathroom! So, just for the meta sense of this, basically, depending on what route you had taken, there were a number of things that could happen, and so obviously the most number of things is the longest path, but the DC of everything will be lower. Okay. So that's the-- Okay. Interesting. All right, all right. Okay. So.

- As you all rocket through, you see that there's a patch of where you see a great wave turn into a burst of flame and then crumble together in a massive boulder. - Thank you Smokey, welcome to the family. - As you see, let me see here.

as suddenly as you're going, you see massive storm cloud emerge in front of you and a massive lightning bolt starts to arc directly over Hiyaki and or Hizaki, pardon me, as you only to make a dexterity saving throw. - Oh dear. - Dexterity saving. - Dexterity saving. - That's my catchphrase on the character. Yikes. - Turbo dextrose. - That's gonna be a 14 for me. - Good thing.

I think. Let me check. Oh, we're all within 10 feet of Hersha. Yes. So we get an additional what? Plus three? Plus four, I think now, right? Or no? Well, that would... I mean, it matters. Like, I don't know. Yeah. Don't we get that? It says plus five. Her next saving throw is plus five. No, I meant for us. The thing that she... She has an aura that whenever we're within... Oh, yes. You get a plus three. That's what it says on her character. Okay, plus three. Okay. So then I got a...

- 17. 17 passes. - Cool. - Okay, then we both pass.

- 15. - Passes. - 19. - Passes. - 27. - You all manage to dodge out of the way as you get singed, so you will take half of this damage. - Oh my gosh. - Half of 14 points of lightning damage. - Not bad. - Whoa, that was pretty close. - You take half of 14, so seven. - Yes, so seven. - I need to heal seven.

as you continue on your way. - We're in limbo now, Abby. That's what you missed. - Yeah, part of that. - Not how long you've been gone, but things have changed dramatically. - We're riding a Kirin through limbo. That was the most dramatic shift in tone that I've ever experienced. Being in some palace and then flying through limbo

- I'm Charlie the Unicorn. - Yes, Charlie the Unicorn. - You can hear in the back of my head, I'm singing. - And honestly, there is a streaking trail left by this Kirin and it's gold, but it's so, it's shimmering. It almost looks like a rainbow as you are arcing through. - One of the chances. - As the, do you see those portals opening up?

As you see a creature that is a swarming, it's starting to get far too close for comfort. As it's swarming, you see tentacles wriggling out, bulging pustules, a mass of eyes and mouths and teeth. What is that? It's a horrible, gibbering creature

Kost Bayou and all of you here, despite the rocketing chaos of Limbo, you all hear it and it is horrifically maddening. I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw. - Plus three. - Plus three. - That's gonna be a 20 for me. 20.

12. Hold on that resolution. I rolled natural one, should I do a thingy? Yes. Yes. If it's a whiz safety throw, you use a fucking twist of thingy. Can I use one as well? You may. Okay. That's what they're here for. Take two of those Jimmy Jams out. Oh boy. Where's the Jimmy Jammer? It's right there. Take two of them out. All right, 15 for me. 15? 13. 13?

- Hers has got a roll. - I rolled for 18, 19. - Take one out for me as well. - 25. - 25? - Two is total. - Well, should I roll one more now? - Yes. - It's up to you, but I would say one more is fine. Yeah, much better. - That's two more, so that's 16. - 16.

Yeah, that's good. You hear the gibbering madness as the creature rockets past you. It's like, "Whoa, that was pretty close." How close are we? And you're like, "We still have a ways to go." God, I hate this thing. So what happens? So you all hear the horrible gibbering and the madness starts to take you, but you all steel yourselves and hold on. All of us. All of you. Wow. As you grip on tightly. Do I get the feeling that I could cast a spell?

I'm sure you can. There's no reason we wouldn't be able to. Yeah, okay. I can't make any sound. I have to think of a song. I have to think of a song. You can make sound, but it's so loud. It's cacophonous. What if there are verbal components to your spells? You can still say it, but you can't hear each other over the chaos all around you. I'm sorry, I'm getting deep into it. What happens if the target of your spell needs to be able to hear you?

You're fucked. Yeah, my Vicious Mockery's turned off. Yeah. I assume-- Well, Vicious Mockery, you still use the weave, right? No. There are spells that say the target must be able to hear you. If the target can hear you. Yes. So that will not work.

In your current sense, yes. You are effectively deafened. I just want to make sure. Yeah, if you scream over it, yeah. Chaotic limbo, whoa, chaotic limbo, and I'll cast Circle of Power. What does that do? Circle of Power. Everyone within 30 feet, including Kirin Lady, will have advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. I guess I don't know if this counts as a magical effect, but I'm feeling desperate and crazy as to freeze.

That would take an action to cast, and I attempt to cast that, I guess would be the first thing I say. Okay, you do cast it, and you call it out, and you all kind of hear bits and pieces of Caprice's song through the chaos around you, and you all manage to feel the circle of power surround you, and it follows as... It stays on me at some point. He continues to rock it as he doesn't seem to be particularly bothered by this, and he is insanely dexterous as he's rocketing through Lembo.

- Could I have used my reaction for Shieldmaster to negate all damage to that dex save? - I would say you're not wielding your shield, you're all grabbing on. - Okay. - So yeah, I would say just no.

And with that, you continue onward. And suddenly as you're rocketing forward, you feel a sudden pull as gravity completely shifts around you. And it seems as if Hezaki's unable to adjust quite in time and you all feel like you're being ripped off. I need everyone to make a strength saving throw for me. - And this counts as advantage? - If it's a magical effect. - Yes, it's advantage, yeah. - Can we get plus three? - Plus three, yeah.

- That's a 20 plus. - 15. - I got a 14. - Ooh, baby. - Passes. - Oh my God. - 32? - 24? - Passes, passes. Despite the gravity reversing, you all grab on tight and pull yourselves down as like, whoa, sorry about that, everyone, as he spins around and his barrel rolls and rockets forward. - I'm reaching for the oxygen mask. - Rufy flies off.

- Okay. - There's a colonial woman turning butter on the wing! There's a colonial woman on the wing! She's turning butter! - And you then continue and you see these strange, and as you're going, you're finally getting a sense of as much as you can possibly do of the chaos that's churning all around you. And you see these strange slipstreams

of chaotic energy that are swirling all around you, and you are rocketing, avoiding a massive boulder and a crashing wave and a zapping lightning as you get very close to one of these streams, and it's too late when you see a figure, a silhouette in this slipstream. A massive toad-like red hand with a claw shoots out and swipes at you.

I need everyone to make a dexterity saving throw for me. - This is not magical. - No! - Oh, that's actually not bad. - Oh my God, you don't even believe the PTSD I have right now? - Plus three. - Plus three, yeah. - I'm so fucked. I'm so fucked. - Is this dex saving throw? - I got a 15 with Hirsch's bonus. - 17. - Can I see the source of it? - Yes. - Okay. - 15 might be enough. - I got a nine, should I twist it? - Yes.

I'm hoping 15 is enough. Oh, right there. Oh, gotcha. I'll take one out for you. 22. 22.

15. Passes. Oh, that's good, yeah. You all passed? Yeah. What's the DC? Thank you, chat. I got an 18. Okay. You all manage to duck and lean back as you see a toad-like face look out leering at you, a razor-sharp maw, as it takes a swipe at you. You all manage to duck it, and you continue rocketing. We're doing well here, folks. Circle of Power lasts 10 minutes, so if this all...

This journey takes longer than that. Let me know. It'll take us an hour, right? It'll take an hour, yeah. So I'll... But I'm trying to avoid it. No, no, no. I think that's a very wise course of action. As you're rocketing forward, you see great massive boulders swirling all around you as if a rock is trying to form over you. And you see massive...

bits of earth smash into you. I need to make a strength saving throw. My question would be, is this, does this appear to be a magical rock? I would say yes, this will be magical. Okay, correct, correct. I got a 10. I'm gonna use a twist. And what was the check? 16. Oh, was that a strength? Strength? Strength. I got an 18. Thanks for the twist, Chad. You guys are the best. Should I twist that 10? Strength. Strength. Oh, great. I think that the DC's like 12. 13 for you.

I'm gonna assume it's damage, but it's up to you. Because if you mine through this whole thing, the DCs are lower. Then they normally would be. It'll take longer, but the DCs are lower. That's such a smart thing. I love that.

- I will probably stay with a 10. - I think that's probably good. - Yeah. - Okay. - Thank you for the bits, Amanda. - Thank you so much for the bits. - Thank you. - I got a 24. - 24, you all manage to burst as the rocks try to form around you, except for you, Persia. As the rocks, as you see her get restrained in rock, as you're going to take-- - I had an idea, but it doesn't work on magical rock.

- 17 points of bludgeoning damage. - Oh, stop, man. - Guys, it's next, and you are now disadvantaged against any kind of dex or strength saving throw as you are imprisoned in this boulder that's formed around you. And you see a little dwarven head poking out and literally just like a big rock suit. - Help! Is it something I can try to break out of? - I would say after the next one, you can attempt to make the check after each one.

- Okay. - And if it would help her, like if I can reach my arms to help her to give her advantage on the checks, I may be like ripping pieces of rock off. - Okay, yeah. - If I can still hold on while doing that. - I would say that yeah, with your strength, Sura, you could. - I'd like to eat the rock from around here.

I think that's a little pushing. I tried. You can do like, you can do like gnawing at it like a cat that's chewing gravel. I'm kidding. That is chewing gravel. Well, I'm sure that'll be fine. That'll come right off. As he continues to rocket forward and as you're making your way, you see the chaos all around you and as, as, um,

You fly around, he flies directly up and notices too late as a massive corpse

of a floating, massive, dead purple worm is in your face immediately. And he immediately dies out of the way. However, he knocks the side of this mouth and poison spray, venom sprays out at you. - This is not magical. - I need everyone to make a, it is not, make a constitution saving throw. - Against poison? - Yes, against poison. - I have advantage on those. - Con you say? - Yep.

- I very much failed. - Well, you could do the not thing, so not failing. - Your advantage too. - I am. - I'm amazing. - 16. - 16, go. - I'd like to use a twist if I may. - Do it. - 22. - 27.

I'm gonna let it ride. I may have been destined to fail this. You said con? Oh no, not at all. I got an 18 after that second roll. You 14. 14. You all feel the venom, and it seems to seep in. You all manage to resist it. Okay. Let's go. Did anybody see Beetlejuice?

Who? Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Michael Keaton. And I fucking model. Shut up.

- I hate when that happens. It's about at this time, I would say the effect has worn off at this point. - Well, that didn't help very much. I won't do that again, but... - And you continue as suddenly a burst of flame just explodes out of your peripheral and I need everyone to make a deck saving throw for me. - Oh yeah, oh yeah.

I got a 22. I got an eight. His thing will be down, right? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I got a 22. 22? Is everyone adding three? Yes. Yeah. Fuck yeah, I am. Sure am. That's why I'm rolling so goddamn high. 19. 19 pass. 21. 21. Eight. Eight. Herja, you take 20 points of fire damage. Oh my god. And you take 10. Ah!

- Yeah! - As you manage to duck out of the way, it's . - Yeah, does it break my rakiast? - Oh, you can make a-- - Is it a dex or-- - Strength to burst out. - Nine. - No, nine. - Nine is, unfortunately, you're trying to do that, so you have still this advantage. - You have the advantage though, right? 'Cause I'm helping her? - Oh. - Oh, no, it would be a straight roll. - So it would be a straight roll.

Oh, I disadvantage on dex and strength because of the rock? Yes. So you're good. So you aren't able to burst out as you take this, but you continue to go, and it feels like you've been here an eternity. All of the horrible things all around you, you're unable to process all of this. And we're going to roll here. I'm unable to process all of this. Touché.

- Well, I'm sure that's the last slotty we'd seen. And well, I'm just gonna go across around here. This is gonna be a quick route. And suddenly you see a massive blue hand reach out with two long claws, a shape, a toad-like shape, begins to take a massive swipe at all of you and you're gonna make a dexterity saving throw.

God, I'm on fucking fire. I got a 20, 25. What did you say? A what? 21. I rolled a one and a two. 20. Love it. 16. Okay. You want to do a thing? 25. Okay. Nah.

- Eight. - Don't get-- - 22. - Everyone's able to duck out of the way, but Toa, you see this massive arm claw into you and it slices up your chest and you feel a horrible chaotic disease immediately transfer to you as you are affected by Chaos Phage.

- Oh, at least you're not getting, you're playing a negative. You're all right. - I think it's pronounced Fie. - Fie. - Like foyer. - That got me. - Oh, you are gonna take damage. Paula, you need to take damage.

A horrible, chaotic disease. Twelve honey and blueberries start to emerge. I'm going to touch Toa and cast Lesser Restoration, which ends the disease. You touch him and suddenly you're free. Well, it's not much longer. And then there's only the horrible Gits and Zerai to deal with. That's not as bad as this. Is it Gits, Zerai,

- Strike save? - Yeah. - Is Toei still helping me or? - I was entering slash, he would be unable to. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, certainly. - Come on, ooh, maybe. - He's 13. - Well, you're disadvantaged now, right? - 15. - Yeah, disadvantage. - Roll higher. - I did roll higher, cool. - You burst out of the rock finally. - Oh, cripes. Holy smokes. I'm back, I'm back. - Sorry, I couldn't help you here. - Oh, it's okay, it's fine, I totally get it.

- Come on, we got this. - Not that much longer. I'm sure it'll be as an ice crystal starts to crystallize all around you and it is so cold. You feel even colder than you were at the peak of Krasang Pass. - Oh, that's not good. - Everyone will be constitution saving from it, as it feels exhausting. - 17. - 23. - Not to cheese it, but my cold weather business.

Would that do anything here? I would say this is chaos. Yeah, this is limbo. It's not like element. I've already used a twist, and I haven't gotten her to go, so I'm just going to keep my natural one. I got a natural one, too, but I used a twist. Well, you haven't yet, so that's fine. I took damage. 13. Y'all, we are...

- You're twisting and shouting right now. How's everyone looking? - I'm a chubby checker, I'm all right. - 10. - I'm a little beat up. - Hey everybody, my name's Chubby Checkers and I like to do a little dance like, oh, it's a... - Eight. - Eight. - As you... - Are you sure you don't wanna use one, Derek?

I don't know, I kinda wanna see it. Let's let it ride. As it's so cold, you feel absolutely exhausted as you take a rank of exhaustion. Oh, I regret this. That's bad. Wait, is it 13 passes? Does 10 pass? 10 does not, unfortunately. 13 is the DC because you guys did the... You're the best! Taxes until second or third level. The first one's only saving thirds.

No, it's only ability check. Oh, it's only ability check. Whatever it is. Right. The bad one is second or third. The first one's not as bad. I just feel like it's almost been an hour. It's hard to track time. Okay, just over this. And he dodges a massive swarm of chaotic energy as he leaps over and then starts to plummet down. As you're all rocketing downwards, suddenly a gate opens up before you.

a strange portal to another world, as you feel like if you cross through, you would smash into the floor, as what you see is what looks like a massive stone temple. And you see a jungle of vines and fronds hanging down. And at the center,

of what looks like a group of creatures. It's hard to tell. They're all wearing hoods. We see scaly hands raising their hands to the sky.

and you see them all praising a massive statue of a hideous looking toad monster as you're all rocketing towards this portal. I need everyone to make a group animal handling check. - Oh boy. - Well that I'm not even remotely good at. - Me either. - 20. - Gotta give it up, gotta give it up. - For freaking animals. - 19. - Plus your wins. - 19, oh wow. Oh, 21.

- I got a 13. - 26. - Wow. - You're proficient. - You're disadvantaged though. - No, I really am. - You add our plus three. - Oh, both of you are disadvantaged. - Thank you. - Both of you are disadvantaged. - Why? - It's a skill check. - That drops to... - Oh, but I used Greater Restoration. - Oh no, for the exhaustion. - Yeah, Greater Restoration gets you an Exhaust. - Nine.

Animal handling. 13. 13, that's exactly. So 25. Yes. 11. Amazing. 11, and despite Toa, you lose your grip a little bit, and you're all pulling up on the reins as you all. Jesus, 13. Yeah. Me too. As you all pull up on the reins, and he's like, whoo-hoo-hoo.

Whoa, thank you, France. We almost got splattered as you see the portal shimmering and then close up immediately as soon as you dodge away. And you rocket through. Well, here we go. And after a burst of chaotic energy, you suddenly feel calm.

I was really hoping we would look down through that portal and see a key playing a gnome wood elf. Oh my god, I love that. A high elf.

What a nightmare. One second. And live in harmony, harmony, honor. Always I want to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony, honor. Somebody calm returns. Wow, you guys chose the best route to go. Well done, everyone. That was the best route, huh? Well, we're all in one piece, aren't we? It was relatively okay. Are we all in one piece? Yes.

That's pretty good. I think so. Are you okay? And I'm very tired. And you all hear that you're actually talking out loud, and you can hear yourselves. You hear the crackling of the chaos storm all behind you and surrounding you, and then suddenly you realize you get centered. The gravity is no longer changing. You level out as the Kirin has slowed down, and you see up ahead of you

what looks like a massive structure floating in the air. And it is... it almost looks like a double-sided pyramid joined at the center with great towers of crystal and adamantine heavily plated with a great central chamber at the top. As, despite all of the horrible chaos all around you,

This area, this radius about a mile ahead of you, I feel like a mile all around, this massive floating citadel is completely still, orderly, completely controlled. Well, we made it to the citadel. Isn't this great? I'm just so glad we can hear again and talk out loud. That was very strange. Ah!

I just don't know what comes next. What's our plan? We just land and we go for it? We can't just go in and ask for it. What do we do? We go kill him. Kill the guy, right? Well, that's the plan, yes. I'll kick in a door to a tunnel and then you all just go and kill Shibatu. We should totally ask for it first. I mean, it wouldn't hurt. All of this feels really half-assed and like we're rushing into something we haven't thought about at all. Wait, so we're in limbo right now?

Yes, where else would we be? And you're a celestial? Yes. The citadel I cannot enter. Because of the adamantine, is what he said. So Aiden could have come with us. I do not think Aiden would have done that. Until this point, but honestly, I don't think we need Pat. Aiden is great for carting things around and long travel. Outside of that, she's more of a hindrance than anything else. I guess you're right. She would have been torn apart instantly. Oh, we should have brought her then.

She's never really dead. That's why I love her. I can't help it if I don't like Peter. I'm very well aware of that. You can just kick in this door and we'll just run right in. Well, I can certainly try. I mean, I've done it before and every time the orcs get off and then they never come back. This time will be different. Will it?

See, look, we have no plan here. What plan do we have besides going in and killing him and taking it? Maybe there's another entrance? To be fair, I mean, none of the orcs ever had the blessing or the confidence of the Eternal Blossom. Is this the only way in? There's a lot of ways in. But as you see, look ahead and look beneath and above the citadel. And you actually see now where what you actually thought was part of it.

you actually see as you get closer, is a very slightly swarming, undulating mass of red and blue, green. And they look like the horrible toad creatures that jumped out of the slipstreams, but they're in almost like a stasis, controlled floating, their arms folded, bound by something, floating on top and below.

of this massive adamantine floating citadel. The great crystals all adorning this structure, humming in. - So the citadel's like a floating D8, sort of? - Yes, exactly right. It's a floating D8, exactly right. I should've just said that. - Got it. And they're like here and here. - Yeah. - And where are we in relation on this? - So it's like Netherstorm. - I'm playing Netherstorm music right now. - I know. - I have it on one of my playlists, I know. - I was wondering if it was Netherstorm.

So no, no, well, okay. I was just wondering if there was a back way in, but I guess it's all up. It's all up and down. And sideways. And diagonal! Kira, friend, are you rowing a boat while you're talking to us? Row, row, row your boat. Great. Life is by the stream. Kira's so stupid. I don't care how many times I almost die coming here. I'll do it all for my love.

- Well, who's your love? - The Eternal Blossom, of course. - Oh. - Is that a single person or is that like an all... - My goddess, I worship her.

Her name is Eternal Blossom? Yes, Eternal Blossom, of course. Have you met her? Oh, yes. Of course. What does she look like? Beautiful. The most beautiful thing you can imagine. Pure gold. Oh. I'm the Eternal Blossom. I would if you might be. She's like an avatar because, you know, as you can see. That is a lot of gold. Yes, now, you said something about a tunnel.

Oh, yes. Well, I could... You could take the long way and fight your way through, or I could get you up closer to where I think she thought you is. Yes, please. Second option. I'm exhausted with all the tones flying into my face. You're going to me.

So, I think this is how it's gonna go down then. I'm going to kick in the door and because of the magical psionic enchantment on it, I will take a lot of damage because my hooves will cross through. If I don't die from it, then you all can get off and then I'll come back to pick you up. Pick you up after you kill Shivatu. - Well, can you just drop us off and we can just jump down and you don't take any damage at all? - How else are you gonna get through?

Into the Citadel. You have to do it. You have to get us as close as possible. Sure. Avoid any of this long way around. We're here. We strike at the heart of the enemy as quickly as possible. If you die, it will be a sacrifice, Weller. How do we get back if you die? That's why we are not gonna die. They're not gonna die or we don't get home. Have you ever tried to just open the door? Well, no.

Could we try that first? Maybe. Well, I think I saw through it and I think it's like heavily guarded by lots of Gitsurai. There's like whole armies. They had to spend a lot of energy to keep Slotty controlled. I mean, it is the will of Shivachu that has actually calmed this whole place around us. Just his mind alone. That's impressive. But so you're saying when you kick the door down, there's immediately going to be an army behind it? Well, no, if we go down to just the main front door, yeah.

Okay. No, you see, the Kirin is suggesting an alternate way, not the front door. Yes, absolutely. Which is going to require them to kick the opening in with their hooves. However, passing into the temple causing a significant amount of damage. However, we will be at an alternate entrance that wasn't originally there, thus going in a shorter path. We're taking it.

Yes, that's fine. I was just asking if it had to be kicked in. Could you just make sure it doesn't die when he does it? Do you have any way to do that? Yes, of course. I will death watch you. Oh, well, thank you so much. You're welcome. How many times can you do this? Only once. But that's fine. For him, he needs it. We can enter in just fine. So we've been told. And we're working off the information that we have, and that's the best we can do. No more dilly-dally. Do it. Are they going to see us coming? No more dilly-dally.

Well, it's... they're all inside and there are windows, but I mean, you'll probably be fine. It doesn't matter. This is it. This is the moment that we're here for. And the Kirin is rocketing forward now. And you don't see the massive swarm of Slottie now, either on the top or the bottom of this citadel, moving at all. They're still just kind of floating around in stasis. As...

you fly up and you see these sheets and sheets and sheets of adamantine and it's like, well, this is gonna hurt, but it always does. Ow! As you see these massive back hind legs kick and you all kind of are flung forward, grabbing onto the mane. - I didn't have an opportunity to death war her or him, so I hope that I'll be-- - Oh, I thought you already did. - No. - Oh!

I was just double checking to see if I could even do it. It's fine. And you see as soon as the hooves make contact and burst through with a flash of golden light, as you see the adamantine almost melt and shatter across with divine energy. It's a divine radiant explosion, almost like a flame strike or something like that.

as the massive hind hooves of this Kirin burst open. A...

a massive hole into the Citadel effortlessly. And you see it is feet of metal and stone and crystal that has been completely destroyed. However, as soon as the hooves hit it, you see a swirling purple, almost psionic-looking energy surrounded. That hurts! And you see him spiraling around, and you're all holding on, and he manages to right himself. And...

That was close. Ouch. That really hurt. And you see that the floating that used to be pristine and perfectly agile is now kind of chaotic as the... There's a bit of singeing on the mane and the eyes that were bright and joyful are now tired. And he says, well...

Well, as long as I stay away from the Citadel, then you all can get out and you're human, so you'll be fine. All right. Let's hope. Should we jump in?

You can. And you see as the citadel gets closer, as he floats to be right beside it, a perfect boarding height, and you see a large hallway carved out of this strange metal and stone and crystal going in either directions. It's very dark, but there is the faint kind of glowing purple crystals embedded into the wall that light this dimly. Are you going to be okay? I'll be fine. I'll just slowly heal myself.

Do you want a bump? A bump of what? No, I don't play like that. You're bad. I'm a July and Peach. I'm a Celeste Teal. That's bad. Oh, I know. I just mean like if you needed some help, but I don't know if my, you know,

My mortal healing will help you at all. I see what you mean. Healing helps. But I'm also pretty good at it. I will just give him 20 points of light on hands. Ooh, more than flavored. Thank you. You're welcome. I will jump off the horse and immediately, like, leap off. You leap off. It is effortless for you all to jump off. And...

and Hisaki spins around to look at you and continues to talk to you, but still once again, it's all telepathic way. And he says, "Well, I'm gonna float a little bit closer "to the chaotic storm so they don't spot me, "but I'll be back. "Just come right back here for the pickup." - Be safe. - You too.

And you see him dash away in a flash streak of gold, almost rainbow, as he floats away. And you are all now, despite the side of the citadel being burst open, you aren't sucked out of it. There's no, it's not like a lack of atmosphere, and the gravity seems to be pretty stable. And you all stand firmly.

in this long, narrow hallway, and you see that there is a large door panel, but he had pointed you in the direction of the hallway up ahead that seems to kind of go in the same angular shape of the Citadel as it goes deeper to the center. - Man, this place is nuts. - Do we have-- - This whole day has been really weird. - Do we have some time to take a breather so I can oil up real quick?

How long does it take? Ten minutes. That's good. That's fine. We can take ten minutes. Do they know we're here? Do we feel like there's any, like, alarm bells? Like, do we feel like we could have... You just see a very calm, uh, not super narrow, but just a hallway going down. Let's stand guard. Let's be aware. Let's think about it while Hersha does what she needs to do. Because...

There's something that I've been wanting to say, but I haven't felt comfortable saying it until with it. We've been alone by ourselves here. So do your thing. And honestly, if they're telling the truth and if the last piece of this rod is here and if we manage to defeat whatever this horrible creature is, and if we manage to recover this piece.

Are we really just gonna turn it over? No! What do we do about the other six pieces? This is an artifact that has some immensely powerful purpose. And maybe, yes, maybe its only purpose is to banish the horrible horned legion that we're facing.

But my thought is that it probably does other things. I think that's exactly right. That's why I asked the Golden Lady why she was looking for it before the Horned Legion even came about. We knew she was never going to tell the truth. The point is, even if we manage to do all of these things and obtain this piece of the rod, there's no saying that they won't just take it from us. I don't know. I understand that this isn't a conversation that we...

have to have now. But if not now, I don't know when. And I don't have an answer for this.

I'm just saying it's something I'm worried about. Deeply. If we have the opportunity, we can maybe make some sort of faux rod piece? Don't know. It won't be magical. No, you're right. But maybe... Well, I could make it magical, but... We could do something to it, and maybe they could take that fake piece, and we could follow them and see where the rest of them are kept, and then steal them! I can't even believe I'm about to suggest this. But if push comes to shove... We should destroy it.

We have to fight the Golden Lotus? Oh yes, I think that's a great idea, actually. I don't want to do it. I'm saying, but if we have to, if we have to defend this piece of the rod with our lives...

Are we willing to do that without fully knowing what we're even getting into? Yes. We'll be perceived as Korovakian agents for that if we do that, for sure. I'm a Korovakian through and through. It doesn't matter what anybody says or thinks of me. They're always going to think that. I'm not worried about that so much as I'm worried about doing the right thing. And we just don't have enough information. Well, why don't we get the piece of the road?

and we'll figure it out. Maybe they mean, maybe they all have the best intentions. That Kieran was very nice. They got us here safely. That's all well and good. He got us here safely. Sort of. We need to be in agreement about what we do with the piece before we obtain it, if we even make it that far. I don't think we can look ahead that far. Let's figure out how many people want it right now, right? Like, or else sitting ducks?

Golden Lotus wants it. Zer wants it. We know the big Baphomet motherfucker probably wants it too. Oh, and I dreamed Glossia again a while back. She wants it too. What? Excuse me? Oh, yeah. She who owns my soul, she asked for it very specifically. She wants me to kill Baphomet and then give her the rod. I told her she could suck my rod and I made my way.

Why didn't you tell us this before? God. I never... You know, honestly, I almost forgot. It wasn't until you asked that question that it occurred to me that I hadn't told you guys. Okay. I don't know what we're going to do about the remaining pieces. But I don't think I can ever turn it over. I would sooner die defending it than turn it over to some entity. Whether it be the Eternal Blossom or even Cern.

Well, maybe we ask them if we can use it to defeat Baphomet. If we can just dispel him away and banish him with it, then maybe that'll... Since we're the chosen ones, we're the heroes. Speaking of banishment, Persia, does Peyton have bags on her? You mean she can carry... Yeah, she's got a saddle and she can put some packs on the side, yeah? Well, I guess we can't leave the rod alone with Peyton.

Talking about sending her back home with it? Well, yes. But the Kirin could get there easily and kill Peyton on the Celestial Plane. I wouldn't let that happen. I don't like Peyton, but I don't want her dead. Perhaps some sort of deception. What if we told them that the LeBron was cursed and that we couldn't give it away or that it was attached to one of us somehow? I think that now... We can try, but this...

that Tabaxi has as powerful divination magic. Again, I'm not entirely sure she hasn't seen all of this already planned. I don't think we're going to come to the decision that we need to come to here. I think we need to get the rod and then choose. I just want to let you know that if it's up to me, I don't think I can turn it over to anyone. I had no plans.

I'm glad that... To turn it over, I do have plans. I'm glad that we've been in agreement so much lately. Of course. Do we not? With the smart ones. What does that mean? Oh, darling, you know exactly what it means. Now, are we ready to make our way in there and get the rod? I was just thinking out loud. Zurn, Glacia, who else wants it?

Gormordas? Baphomet, probably. I would assume that if Baphomet has any idea that this thing can defeat them, they'd want it to. Well, didn't Commodore Norrington or whatever his name is want it to? Is there any chance that... Go ahead. Commodore Norrington. That's not a name that I recognize. Well, doesn't matter. Let's go.

Is there any chance, and I have two questions, one that have counted as a short rest? I think it was only 10 minutes. 10 minutes is not an hour. Oh, right, okay. And two, um...

Is there any chance that the reason Baphomet's heading to the Mogra Kai in the first place? Yes. More than likely. They made themselves a target because they collected the six pincers? Yes. I'm just putting this together. No, we know that Baphomet's going there to break the seventh seal, which we know is bad because that means over half of the seals will be broken once the seventh one is broken. But Caprice has a point.

It's two birds with one stone. If... Perhaps. I just think it's worth entertaining that idea. Although I think we killed this Gifzeri guy or whatever. Two birds with one stone? And I'm going to start to sort of trotting down the hallway. No, I think it's two pinks in one bush. Let's go!

I followed Toa. Thank you. I followed Toa and I don't think about the pink or the bush. I have applied oil of slipperiness. I bet you have. You are slippery as fuck. One more charge. Yay! Does it have charges? No, it's because she had one. I had one already and then he gifted me one. Got it. I was going to say. I already had one. Okay. Because Vander supplied it and did not know it had charges. Greasy, oily.

very shiny dwarf right now. I'm a sopping, dripping mess. I'll be right behind you, heard ya. And you continue to make your way. Your footsteps and your bootsteps clang out an echo in this place that seems eerily quiet. And you see as the crystals

embedded into the sides of this hallway, light your path. And it is an alien architecture. It feels bizarre, otherworldly, like no other structure that you've been in.

and you continue to make your way, and there don't seem to be any doors. You continue to make right angles, slight angles, and you just continue deeper and deeper into this citadel. And then you all hear a voice in your mind. Yes, more sacrifices coming for my mind. The rod...

Yeah. I don't see- There's really only one human. What does that mean?

You will see soon enough, you are getting closer. If you are afraid and suffering a lapse in courage, you're more than welcome to leave. - Can you hear what's in my mind right now? - Yes, it is my mind that has brought order to this chaos. It is my mind that has bound the Slardy.

That which destroyed the first incarnation of the great god Primus, to my will. What the fuck? Took the words right out of my mouth. You are out of your depth. And once again, the Kirin has sent more to their doom. We're in deep shit. This time is different, but you said we're getting closer. Should we just keep going down this way?

Continue forward and we shall meet face to face. Thank you for those directions. To your doom. Do you have a... Call an ambulance! But not for me! Oh my god. The fuck? Who did he say he controls now? The Slotty.

Yeah, there was like a name you mentioned after that. Primus. Slotty, which had destroyed the first incarnation of the great god Primus. So the Slotty crushed some dude and then he tamed them. And became that dude. Potentially. I'm going to just start bounding. Watch out for traps. Look at where you're running. I'm following Vanta. I don't trust this guy. I follow Vanta. He can hear everything you say.

I'm running. I follow. This is the song that never ends. It goes on and on, my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was. And they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends. And I join in with them and I do it too. Can we just split his brain? I can tune you out. Oh, Shavon. You're in.

Your attempts at overloading my brain are amusing. And you continue on your way, and it only takes about five minutes more before you turn once more and you see a glow of purple. As you see a very slight fog appear.

but you see that the hallway finally ends into a large chamber with the great purple crystals humming and casting that strange light over everything. Come. Come.

Do you wish to talk or do you wish to kill me? Either way, I will be pleased. This is our chance. This is our chance to at least ask them some questions and see if they'll turn over the rod. We can resort to violence only if it's necessary. Go ahead. And I push Caprice more towards this horrible creature.

You push Caprice and all of you stumble out into a large chamber with high ceilings, and you see great number of steps.

rising up towards probably 30-40 feet in the air. A great platform with great purple crystals rising up larger than each of you. Huge crystals glowing at various terraces as these stairs narrow to a singular platform. And

Up ahead, you see large purple crystals humming and glowing, almost crackling with energy. And you see, finally, the inhabitants of this place. You've never seen a Gith Zerai before, and you never really could have predicted what they would look like. But what you see are strange humanoid creatures, modeled

skin like a banana, pointed ears, no nose, but almost like nose holes, strange bits of facial hair, elongated skulls, dark, deep, wide, elongated eyes. As they wear

Simple tunics. - What are these creatures called? - Githzerai. - Gith? - Gith, G-I-T-H-Z-E-R-A-I. - It's as if Voldemort and Elf had a baby, so zappy. - Yes, exactly right. - That's fantastic. - And you see four of these that are at these four crystals on the level that you're in.

as you see the four crystals on the ground, and they seem to be... They're holding their fingers to their temples as they stare into the crystal, as they seem to be doing something as the energy pulses. However, you now see, floating in the air, legs crossed and hands out, resting on each knee, a hooded figure,

but you see an ancient model face within with long white, what looks like a mustache and a very long white thin beard. As this hooded figure floats in the air and none of the Githzerai within this chamber seem to notice you, you see up ahead how on either side of the panels is a strange crystal panel that almost looks like it would be a window.

but all you can see is the swirling chaos energy within, in that same glowing purple. And ahead of you, a small narrow platform over a great expanse where the fog is rising up from. But you do see movement from down below.

What do you do, Caprice? Hey, hi! Uh, hi, my name is Capriccio de Sesto. You can call me Caprice. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm assuming that you are the awakened Shabatu. I am. And you see the eyes look down at you of the Gitsurai floating, meditating. His mouth does not move.

I'm gonna like whisper from like a few feet behind him, "Just ask him for the piece of the rod. If he doesn't comply, we know what we have to do. There's no reason to mess around here." First of all, love the pad. This is just... How do you even do this? I don't... Did you do this? Also, can we have the rod? I'm just also very curious if... how one constructs a building like this, but if we could have the rod, that'd be great.

There's a pause. "Your attempts at flattery will get you nowhere. And no, you may not have the rod. This is the artifact that allows me to master what Primus himself could not. I will use these, Sloddy, as an army of my own vengeance."

And this technology is beyond your comprehension, devil. That's fair and great. Vengeance, super cool. We could borrow the rod. We'll bring it right back. Are you attempting to deceive me? Absolutely not. After we use it, we don't need it anymore. Yeah, 100%.

You already know the answer, devil. Well, can we trade for it? Is there any circumstance that you will allow us to take the rod with us so that we can do our work in the prime material plane? We've got important business to take care of, too. Armies of Slotty can wait just a little while. I have since drawn my dagger from my cloak. I am holding it in the open. And you...

You're standing kind of right in the entrance of this room as you see the four ghisarai standing on each crystal as they're seemingly channeling their minds looking at these things. And you step ahead and Caprice, you notice movement.

from the large pits almost on either side of you, and you see a large hand reach up and grab the railing and heave itself out, and you see an orc with two tendrils, and it seems to be fully armored, and it heaves itself out,

and it turns, stands on its feet, and it turns and looks at you. And you see its eyes are just simply a glowing purple, and it looks at you, and so it, and its head explodes into viscera, and it collapses onto the ground. That's something I had in my mouth. Wait, what the fuck? Do you see what I am capable of? Do you see what the rod is capable of?

Yes, I do. That's why we want it. It's very powerful. No matter. I grow tired of your devil tricks. And you suddenly feel a wash of psychic energy burst out from Shivatu as you suddenly stabilize yourself. And nothing happens. What? What?

How are you immune from my domination? How are all of you immune? You got me. I have no idea. That's the complete honest truth. So you have chosen extermination then? No, we were trying to negotiate. We had just started talking. Caprice, I don't mean to cut in, but if we're immune, this is your last chance to turn over the rod.

I do not need to control your mind to kill you well. Can you tell us how you came across the ride? No. Meaning you can't tell us or you aren't going to tell us? Have you chosen death or do you wish to flee? I'm going to just turn to Toa after he says that and say,

Knowing that we might get into battle, can I prepare to cast Beacon of Hope the moment I think that something's going to happen? I'll briefly look back at the party and sort of give them that, like, we're about to do this. Well, hold on. So you had said to me, I said, just say the word, Felix. Turn to Toe and I say, break his neck. I cast Beacon of Hope. Yeah. Just me, what else? And you hear an ah!

as he spins around, spinning around, around and around and around, and almost like a top towards you, as he floats around and all of the Githzerai immediately all look at you, their eyes aglow, and everyone roll for initiative. - All right! - Would you say his power is unlimited?

- Do it. - Fully operational. - Oh, that's what I should have said. Say the word, tell it, do it. - I fucked up everybody, I fucked up, I'm sorry. - Damn it, Alex. - Thank you AJ for the names. - Thanks for the follows everybody. - You're welcome. - So hold your initiatives while I- - Initiative counts as an ability check and I'm exhausted, but my first roll was a one anyway.

Yikes. That's it? So we're here. No, he's there. He's there and we're gonna be down the other direction. What can I do? All of this? Alright. So we're gonna be at this entrance. Oh, more. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's getting more right now. Who are we missing?

- I don't know if you wanna try and pass something. - Caprice! - He's right there, he's right here. - I'm literally right in front of him. - Capricci. - I think I try to do it at the longest. - I'd be in front. - So that we could all benefit. - You guys were like kind of up here at the front. - But I was in most. - And then everybody else was hanging out back here. - I like that. - So you dashed?

I started shooting at him. I would still be a square ahead. You guys would be even. Thanks, ladies. I was trying to be... I went down and grabbed it, and then I saw you had a blanket, too. I was like, okay, we've got to share. Lufty's going to be in front of us. We'll be in the back here. I still have a heated...

I think this is a reasonable. I'm gonna squeeze my ass in your face, Derek. It looks so good. It'll keep getting warm. So I love this. I would turn it up to high and then fall asleep on it and wake up like. It just spins. It's so hot. Oh my god. Okay. And there's gonna be a bop. There's gonna be a bop. There's gonna be a bop. And there's gonna be a burp burp burp. And then right here as he spins towards you. Here's he went. He's gonna roll towards you.

- Embrace tranquility. - Does anyone remember that board game? - Where's my foot, your ass? - Oh, 20 to 25. - Oh, I did not get that. - Not me. 15 to 20. - I got a 16. - Oh, 18. - 18 for Iris, okay. - Thanks, Bafal. - This is also a key. - 16 for Felix. - I got a 16 as well. - You can go first. - I'll go first.

- Yeah, or no. - Up to you. - You go first. - All right. - You go first. - Oh, I-- - I actually can't. - I got an 18. - 18, so Leia reactions first. - Hello, ready to now? - Ready to now. - Thank you, Caprice. - I'm Caprice. - Eight. - Eight. You can go first. - Okay. - Caprice is last. - Caprice can go first if you want. - Caprice always analyzes the battlefield. - Okay. - And then he acts. - Okay. - Okay, I got a roll for Shibatu. Boink, big bad is gonna be here.

I'm toasted. We're over here freezing. Really? I'm actually, I'm not. I'm a little shvety. I'm cold.

- I had to put on a sock. - Okay. - Are there rules about maintaining concentration? Like where can I find, just in the player's handbook? - Yeah, player's handbook under spell section. - Yeah, it's under the spellcasting chapter. - Okay, I'll find it. - Do you want to leave a book? - What's your question about it? - I have many. It would be too far to explain. Do you have a book on you? - Yeah. - So. - That would be easiest if I could just leaf through it real quick. - Can you say that again? Are these-- - Concentration books. - What are the swears?

In the player's handbook, skull casting. Oh, sorry, so those crystals? Hold on, Derek's got one, Derek's got one. Mikey? The large crystals are, the large crystals on the ground, can you actually move those two, so the one in front of you, so it's in line? Okay, yep, perfect.

And so with that, as-- - The crystals though? - They're the large crystals, yeah. About the size of these Gitsurai. They're channeling it and they all turn and look at you. And you see as Shivatu spins around, his hood falls down and you see that there is a strange circlet that he has.

wrapped around his head and fashioned and almost seems to be grafted to his skull. And at the very center of the circlet is a piece of a rod.

And so with that, it is the lair action's turn. That's not even fashionable. We're gonna kill this guy real quick. He's got a dick on his face. As you see the swarming of bodies from the pits on either side of you as eight lumbering, mind-controlled orcs heave themselves out, weapons in hand, to attack you. This is gonna be tough. Oh my god, they're lumberjacks.

- They're lumbering jacks, yeah. - Okay. - They're all named Jack and they're lumbering. - Bop, bop. They be, a-boop, a-boop, I would say. - Like right here? - And then I'm just gonna do the...

It's outside the range of combat. - Oh, I see. - No, it's not there. - Good chances. - Yep, okay. Ooh, shit. - Did I fuck that up? - You're good for now. - And they all, they look at you and they let out a bestial roar as they recklessly attack you. And we're gonna get an attack on Lifty.

Oh, but that was a natural 20, but I'm at disadvantage, so that is actually going to only be a six, so you managed to block it. And could you move that dice tower? I can't see fucking shit. Oh, sorry, sorry, thank you. And then they're going to try to get a swing on Iris. I'm going to impose disadvantage on that as my reaction.

- Okay. - Whichever one is attacking. I can only do it once per turn. - Thanks, Boo. - No problem. - So that is just a regular. That is still a 19. It slashes in at you with a 12 points of slashing damage. They all have axes. You need to make a strength saving throw that tries to knock you down. - Plus three. - What a jerk.

Okay, you are now on the prone as it slices into you. We're going to get an attack on her here. An advantage is going to be a 19. Misses. Misses. You managed to block it with your shield. And we're going to get two attacks on Caprice. That's definitely going to get me 21 to hit. And that's going to be 23 to hit. So actually the first one is going to do...

14 points of slashing damage to Caprice. Could someone just write that down? 14 points of slashing damage? - Yeah.

His AC is 17. Yeah. I don't know if it... And then... I'm just gonna roll an advantage here to see if he... Oh, never mind, it's fine. And then the next one is gonna do 12 points of slashing damage. 14 and 12? Yeah, 14 and 12. Holy shit. There's gonna be one attack on Toa here. That's gonna hit. You took 14 and 12, Derek. Oh, that's only 6 points of slashing. And then... 26. That is gonna hit.

That is going to be 15 points of slashing damage to you. And with that, that's a lair action. And it's Iris' turn. I am going to use the last bit of charges in my staff, and I'm going to cast Mask Your Wounds on all of us. Doesn't recharge every day.

Yes, but I used it to do Greater Resto on myself. Greater Resto. Yeah. And that's my turn. Okay. With that...

- You see as the Ghisarai Shivachu spins around and he blinks and disappears and appears 30 feet closer to you. - Oh man. - 29 points of healing to everybody. - 29 points of healing. You smell cinnamon, you feel the warm sands, the ointment heals your wounds. - 29 for everyone, yeah.

29 for everyone? That was max. It's max because I put up Beacon of Hope. Oh, hell yeah. With that, the monks, we're just going to call them monks for this sake, are going to run. They're just going to...

They should be, they're both going to, you see that they're glowing as they leap far more than they should be able to, empowered by their minds, and they're gonna leap on either side of you, Toa, and Caprice. So they're gonna, actually behind, so that's a big old pit. Right, right, right. Oh my, I know this map. Yeah. Here? Thanks, man.

Yep, there. And then the other two are going to... I can't do what I wanted to do. The other two are going to just dash forward and they are going to move speed 60 feet. Dash.

- Well, they can get basically up here. - Yeah, they're gonna move there and they are going to, the two that can hit you are going to do two unarmed strikes on each of you. Their hands pulse with psionic energy. So that is not advantage, oh shit, whoops. The first one misses. The other one on your toe is a natural 20. - No, it's not. - Oh, it is not. So it smashes into you and you feel a pulse of psychic energy blast over you. - Yikes. - As I knew that you would like this, Reg.

Thanks for the follow, Laboon. You're gonna take 10 points of bludgeoning and... How much psychic? 10 points of bludgeoning and... 14 points of psychic damage, I think. How much? 14 points of psychic damage and 10 points of bludgeoning. And then this one's gonna be on Caprice. A natural one. I would let you do another attack on me.

That's still gonna miss. Oh, wait, hold on. Hey, hey, hey! Uh, did that miss? No, 13. Missed a dodge out of the way of both of them. And with that, that's their turn. Felix, you're up. Jesus. I'm sorry, my whole entire fucking game plan has changed. I apologize. Give me one second just to take a look at what this is. Yeah. Sorry, Toa.

Basically, at this point, I... No sorry, Caprice. You're fine. We're all good. We're all fine. The idea was I was... My dagger was glowing blue. And I started to do a motion that was kind of circular, and I was focusing on Tela. But then seeing the way that the...

the creatures had attacked us, the circular blue, almost clock-face-like motion suddenly changes to a fiery flaming red, and I release a fireball directly between my two friends, but they're going to be perfectly fine. Okay. As I drop a fireball on this

group of enemies. All of the orcs are immediately incinerated. Without the pink or the blue? Without the dex check. Correct, they're minions. Oh, even better. So the orcs are immediately-- oh no, not the monks. Sorry, the orcs. The blue? The blue. And they all need to make their dex savings. So it'll be dex 17, I believe, is what it says here. Number one fails. Does it get all the monks? Oh yeah. Number two fails. Number three fails.

And number four fails. You get to reroll ones. Okay. So that's going to be 18, 24, plus five is 29, plus another six is 37.

- Five plus my INT score because it's an invocation spell is going to be 39 points of fire damage to all of them. - 39 points of fire. - Not 40. - Sorry, what did I say? What was I at? - Was that 35 plus five?

I thought I said 34. It's 39. 39 points of fire damage. Fireballs burst out, they are not ready for it, they all get sinned, they are looking rough and charred as you burst all of them, incinerating all of the orcs that are around you. And I'm not going to move, I'm going to stay exactly where I am. Okay, you do that. Shivatsu's going to use a legendary action here. I wonder if he's legendary.

- Legendary? - Legendary. - Legendary. - Legendary, LaMenge. - With that, he looks at all of you and he says,

You are not as strong as you think you are. And you suddenly feel the, I don't think, no. You suddenly feel the gravity starts to shift and you realize it is rocketing you towards the top. I need everyone to make a dexterity saving throw to see if you can anchor yourself. - Is this a spell? - Plus three, two, it's a legendary action. - It's a legendary action when you cast a spell. - Oh. - If it's a spell. - It is a spell.

But you can have a reaction. He's using... So yes. Yeah, then if I feel that he's casting a spell... He's casting reverse gravity. After I've released this fireball, I'm going to attempt to counterspell it. Okay, reverse gravity is a... Is it coming from him? Seventh level spell. Hold on. Is there a distance requirement for that? Oh, yeah. It's probably less than whatever I'm at here for counterspell. 60 feet? I mean, he just moved 30, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50. Eh, no, I'm not actually... I'll counterspell.

Oh, you are in range. I would happily be. Okay, so reverse gravity. I'm sorry if you know the spell level for this. Just barely, yeah. Holy shit. Just barely. It's a seventh level transmutation spell. Okay, so the DC is 10 plus... 17. So it's 17. I never counterspell because... Do you not get to add anything if there's a straight roll? No, you add charisma. Your spellcasting modifier. Yes. Got it. Okay, so I have a plus nine, so I need to roll eight. Okay.

- Plus nine, plus five. - Plus five. - Plus five, oh, it's a 17 right out of the gate. That's an I-16. - Yeah, roll a natural 17. - You see as he just looks, his eyes glow and-- - This is the song that never ends, motherfucker! - And you see his mind as he begins to cast, psionically change gravity, but you get, you're able to see it and you play a jarring note and it actually does the song that never ends.

You distracted me. A lucky attempt. And with that, those were all of his legendary actions, you motherfuckers. Okay, those are the remaining ones, at least. With that, it is Toa's turn. So he's without a range of me getting to him, so I will instead turn to...

I'm gonna turn to number one. You know what? I'm gonna move up here. I'm going to bonus action drop down into my battle trance, and I will then walk up forward, invoking an opportunity attack if he chooses to take it. He will, 100%. He misses, great. I will then attack twice, recklessly. Make the first attack.

Oh, right, because Felix just fucking choked him. That's a 19 plus... A fuckload. 19 plus a fuckload, so I'm guessing that hits. Is that right? Yep. Oh, wait, hold on. 19 plus what? Yeah, yeah, fuckload. Yeah, that sure hits. And then... I'm sorry, is it a fuckload or a metric fuckload? I don't re-roll anything. Two, three... Let me see here.

13 points of damage. 13 points of damage, number... Number 4. Number 4, okay. You smash into him and he's still hanging on. I'll attack again, recklessly.

That is a natural 20. Gotta give it up. I would like to negate that. Send him to the grave, oh. I can't, I don't have my rants. Put him in the dirt, Tel. Oh yeah, he's-- Oh wow, I could've rolled on a four. So two, four, six, eight, 13, 23. His large skull caves in and you kick him into the pit. See, he's swarming with orc mind slaves.

So he's dead. And then I am going to, here, you know what? Let's see if my Windfury procs. That is not gonna work. That will work. That is a one, so no, it does not. So then I am going to, so I was here, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I'm just gonna start running at him. - Okay. Why'd you run at that fast, holy shit. - Barbarian.

It is his turn. It is Shivatu's turn. As he floats forward, still with his crossed legs and his hands on his knees in this position, and he floats forward and he looks at you and move him up directly in front of you. No, not... As he's walking...

- To my left. - Your left is this way. - Yeah, then one, and then he's gonna just get melee range of you. - Oh, I see, that way. - And you see his hands move so quickly, and they glow with purple, but all the strange silvery magic, and it reminds you of the glow when Felix uses his haste spell. And he presses, smashes his hand against you. He's gonna make an attack. - I think the crystal, that one, moves up one more.

- To make a square. - Yes, yes. - This one got knocked. - Yeah. - Nope. - Oh no, you're right. - It's holding both back. - No, no, no. - It is going to hit you as you feel psychic energy smash into you. - Oh yeah. - And it's going to do a bit of damage here. Let's see, I'm gonna do bludgeoning first. Wow, max damage.

21 points of bludgeoning? So at least that's halved. Where's my health? So, 10 juice. I don't have enough beef 12s for this. Oh, you poor thing. Do you need help? No, I got it. Don't help him. Oh, well, that was terrible. Oh, wait, hold on. He is so cute.

28 points of psychic damage. - Yikes. - And it bursts and you suddenly feel this strange, this temporal effect come over you. I need to make a wisdom saving throw, please. - Oh wow, that's not good. - Beacon of Hope is fine, doesn't that help with wisdom saving throws? - Yes, actually. - Oh, does it? - Or is it, oh, it might be distance locked. - No way. - No? - Because it's on me, right? - Oh yeah, let me know. - Or no. - Is it from you?

- No, I choose creatures. - Oh, fuck yeah! - So when I cast it, you guys were all in range, and so for as long as I have my concentration for a minute, you have advantage on wisdom saving throw. - Holy shit! I had no idea. - I'm a little rusty with my clarity. - I was just scrolling through other things. - That has literally never come into play in any of the times you ever cast that spell. - 17, unfortunately that does not pass. - Holy fuck. - As he touches you and suddenly, and you feel yourself almost rush forward and

you all see Toa disappear. - Oh, well, that's great. - Are you fucking kidding me? - I do not. - Toa! - Toa? - As he blinks out of existence, as Toa is your rocketed forward in time, as he continues to, and wait, and he says, "Now there are five." - And that's his turn. Herja, you're up.

- Yikes. - I wanna break my elemental gem, which is a yellow diamond, which will summon earth elemental. Where would that stand, next to me? - It has to be in a, you can choose.

'Cause you're basically casting the spell. So you can send it out somewhere within a range. - It doesn't give me a range. - Make an intelligence check for me. - It lets you use the summon elemental spell. So it uses the rules of the spell. - So if you, you can see the spell at the top there, conjure elemental. So run under charge. Run under charge, where it has the box, conjure. - Oh, I see. - And those are the rules there. - Range 90 feet. - What was the intelligence check you got? - 19.

With that, I would say you recall the words that you had heard in your brain, how elementals cannot exist in this citadel. And you know, if you break the gem, it would waste it and the elemental would immediately get dispelled. Oh, right. Fuck! I'm so glad Felix didn't take conjure elemental. Nevermind. She's not going to do that. I was going to have him break the stupid gem things that were standing up right now. Oh, that sucks. I mean, that's what I should have done instead. Um, um,

I will, uh, I don't, do I know if Githzerai are fiends because I'm in limbo or are they... You know that only human noise can exist in this. Got it, that's right, you said that already. Only human noise can be in this editable that can exist. I will just use my channel divinity to activate my sacred weapon as a action. Okay. The molten flail emerges and swirls around. It's a copy of Dakota.

And then as a bonus action, I will move up next, well, I'll see where I am. I will just as a bonus action cast Sanctuary on Caprice. Okay. Okay, so what's the attack roll on, who are you attacking with your weapon? I guess it's not going to matter, he's going to be up next and it's going to drop. Who are you attacking with your weapon? I use my action to... It attacks as part of its summoning.

- It does? - It does. - Oh, I've been doing it wrong the whole time. - So who's the detective? - I'll smack the guy number three. - Okay, number three. You're gonna summon it behind Iris then.

- Oh, it's gonna be in a space. - It's a channel divinity sacred weapon. As an action, you view a weapon with positive energy. For one minute, the weapon is-- - Oh, I thought you were playing spiritual weapon. Nevermind, no, yeah, so you get a spiritual weapon, it glows radium, and then you-- - On the next turn, I start attacking. - You sanctuary on Caprice, okay. - So, I'm using, sorry, Bakeshuary. I'm using my bonus action for Thunder Smite. I'm not gonna use Bakeshuary 'cause it's gonna drop off Caprice on initiative. - Okay, okay. - So I'll just cast Thunder Smite. - Blah, blah, blah.

And with that, he's going to use his legendary action as you see him look at one of the large crystals directly next to you, Caprice. Or close to you. And...

and he sends it rocketing towards you. I need you to make a, that one is gonna be rocketing towards Caprice. - If only someone had cast Sanctuary on me. - I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. - Sorry. - That's gotta be huge. That's gotta be huge. - And T, am I within your range for the bonusy bonus? - No. - It's 15 feet? - No, it's only 10. It goes to 30, I believe, when she get leveled up. But double check, make sure. - I'm double checking now. - I think it's 10.

And you are outside of 10. Am I? Oh, yeah. Because we're looking at, like, you're looking at, like, you're looking at, like, seven and a half, like, 12. All right. Well, let's go with... But double check. Make sure. All right.

10 feet. Oh, yeah. And it's a saving throw? Yep. I have disadvantage on those because I'm exhausted? Exhausted. No, it's not an ability check. Saving throw is different, so you're fine. Yes. That's right. I got a 20. A 20. You manage to dodge it. And you are going to take half of this. Do I remove this from the field of play? No, it is going to crash directly behind him. Great. And it smashes down, and you're going to take...

Half of, okay. It still grazes, wow, that was terrible, oh my god. Two, five, six.

Half of ten points of bludgeoning damage. As it crashes down, it still embeds. Okay, with that, it is... Luffy's turn. Okay. I am going to make a spoon attack. I'm gonna just jab my spoon to the side of me into number seven. Got it. Uh, fifth, uh, fifth to seventh.

No, 15, sorry. - 15? - Yeah. - What guy? - The blue seven. - Oh, you were advantaged on that, by the way. - I am, okay. - Oh, 'cause they're Reckless of the Defect. - In that case, it is a 24 to hit. - The next snap is you smack it and it kills it instantly. - Okay. - Yeah, they will be, yes. - So he's gonna die. - Yep.

And then I'm going to move right up here to this little guy. Oh, hey, Lufty. Hey. And I'm just going to... I assume he's probably facing Capri, so I'm just going to smack him in the back of the head with the spoon. And then I'm going to follow that up with my Fury of Blows and just punch him in the kidneys. Okay. Yeah, you do that. Make the attack first. Make your first attack first. Spoon...

Oh, that's not good at all. That's an 11. An 11. I'm not advantage on that. No. Okay. He dodges out of the way. Okay. So two unarmed. That is a 14 and a 25. 25 hit smacks into it. A little big. Nine. Nine. Nine damage? Okay, to number two. To number two. It smacks in. He's looking rough. Fuck.

With that... It is not a planetary place. Okay, nine day mission number two. Okay.

- Sorry. - Okay, cool. He's looking very rough as, or no, he's looking rough as you smack into him and with that, he's gonna use a legendary action to look at you, Lufty, as he sees you and he's going to reach out and suddenly feel a psychic grip on your body as he attempts to crush you and lift you up. With that, I need you to make a strength saving throw. - Okay. - Plus three.

Oh, yeah, I am right next to you. Well, actually, no, it's a strength check. So you need to... Yeah, it's a strength check. Ew, that's not as fun. Wait, do I... Is that this? Plus one. Just plus one? Fuck. Five...

- Five. - Five. You feel, suddenly, as you are grabbed by his mind, and you are lifted 30 feet in the air, and you are restrained. - Okay. - You are helpless. I have calmed all of limbo around me with my mind. What hope do you have? I don't care if you are immune from my mind domination.

And that's his legendary action. With his resist turn, finally. Fucking hit him. Well, he has to roll lower because I'm going to turn to him and go, Hey, Shubatu! Um...

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my... Uh-oh. And I'll catch his hideous laughter. Oh my god. What's the same throw? Yeah, DC 17. What is it? Oh, it's wisdom.

I'm gonna use a Legendary Resistance. That's why I do that. Fucking man! Let's fucking go. That was not funny. I'll turn real quick to Lucci and be like, come on, we got this, let's go, girl! And I'll give you inspiration. Okay! Inspiration, it's a d10. And with that, he is going to... Oh, it's a Legendary Action. Okay, with that, it's a Layer Action. And...

- He is going to, you all, Iris is 100 feet away, right? - No.

- Less than that. - Okay, less than that, okay. - Oh yeah. - So he looks at all of you and you see a smile creep to his face and you all hear in your minds, "You are powerless compared to my mind. "Now see what it looks like to have unlimited power." As psychic lightning shoots out in a line, everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw. - How wide is this line? - It is...

- 10 feet wide? - It is, oh, let me see. Lightning bolt is only five feet wide. - Take a twist of fate out. - But if it's 10 feet wide, it'll get, well no, it's gonna get everybody in the, it'll get in between. - Okay. - There's no halfway. - All right, all right, all right. - If I see him casting another spell, I wanna-- - You said dex? - I'm gonna counterspell. - Is it a spell? Are you? - You do have your reaction back. - Is it a fifth level lightning bolt? - He has his reaction back. - Yes. - I'll counter with a third level.

- Plus nine? - 15? - No, it's plus 18, I succeed. - Not plus nine, plus five. - Plus five. - 14, I do not succeed. - Why is it only plus five? - 'Cause it's a check, it's not a saving throw. He's adding his proficiency because it's a-- - He's adding his charisma. - So it should just be his plus five charisma bonus. - It's a charisma check. - Sorry. - Make an ability check using your bell pass. - Oh, and you're actually disadvantaged too because of your thing. - Oh, then we don't remember that last time. - It's fine.

- Sorry. - That's fine. - This one can succeed, I'll let it happen. - It zaps down, everyone needs to make a dexterity saving throw. - Oh, I actually got a 17, plus hers is three, is gonna give me a 20. - Oh, I get three from you. - 22. - Passes. - 18. - 17. - Passes. Unfortunately, barely misses. - Damn. - I'm taking some damage here, but not the full.

The exhausted thing is not good. No, that's very, very bad. For a counter spell special, but in general. Yikezu. Yikezu. Love that guy. Sorry, I'm going to roll. It's like Shivata. Yikezu, Yikezu, Yikezu. Oh, no.

And with that 9, 13, oh wow, 14. Change it up a little bit. 22, 30. Earlier you said kill two birds with one stone. In Galtica, we say cook two meats on one fire.

- 47 points of psychic damage. Half of you passed, 18 is the DC for his dirty. - 47 divided by two is 23. - Correct. - Fuck. - Jesus. - I'll use... - Beacon of Hope is down.

I believe that. I use Unhide Reaction for Shieldmaster Evasion, so I take no damage. I'm sorry, but I'm so glad I did not cast Haste on you. This is a disaster. Okay, with that, it is-- What a disaster piece. Fy'ra's turn. Fuck that. Oh, that was the lair? Yes, that was the lair action. Good to know. I am going to...

Oh, yeah. Would I be in the area effect because I'm 30 feet up?

You wouldn't. Apologies. So you're spared zero damage. Thank you for the DM. We are... What was it? 23. Someone's asking, what are we fighting? Why are you... We don't really know. I got, like, body crushed and, like, sucked up into the air, so I'm, like, straining the air. Yeah, psychuling. Psychuling. Basically a Githzerai mystic, a very powerful Githzerai mystic who has a citadel in the Plane of Limbo. I love lightning bolts. And he's got a throne.

- Can you like put me on something so I don't forget about that? - Ready to nap's guess was close.

I'm going to look at the one in front of me. Oh, it's not a Gip Yankee, it's a Gip Zero. I don't make a difference. It's like subraces. Fair enough. Very close. Great fucking guess right into that. Jesus. 22 to hit. Can you stick me on top of that so I remember that I'm up? Yeah. 22 to hit. That's such a great idea, to like put a booster up on a D6. Yeah, we need to get one of those like elevation counters. Those are really cool. I want to get you to Christmas.

Elevation counters. We didn't do secret Santa this year. Eight points of necrotic damage. Eight points of necrotic damage. He shrivels up and dies directly in front of you and collapses to the ground. He is dead. Wait, which one? The one next to Iris. Trick three. Oh, three. The minion. Okay. With that, it is... Monsters one? Monsters one.

Grab the other turban and put it near the microphone so that they're all together. Who's monster, who is the monster? It's the monks. Okay. And so they're gonna just all use their attacks on Caprice. Oh my god. So he'll move up and-- That's six attack. --provided he doesn't have reach. Please don't die! This is fucked. We are fucked. It's not good. Certainly not good. What's your AC? Natural one. 17. 17.

- Abby's asking how many beans does this mystic have, right? - Only two hit. Only two hit as they attempt strike. And so does bludgeoning versus psychic matter? - No. - Okay, I'm just gonna roll all of this. One, two. - Are you resistant to psychic as frost? - Weirdly, no.

That's weird. 16. He's strong. 19. In the new wizard psionic subclass, when you turn into your thought form, you are either immune or resistant at least to psychic. 35 points of damage. Thought form. Ah, fuck! And with that, it's Felix's turn.

Having just seen my best friend vanish from existence, I'm still holding the dagger and there's some embers and some flame that has just settled from my hand. I see my friend vanish and I say, T'Tor! Shona, no! You bastard, give

I'm gonna be my friends back! And my arms ignite. I mean, with a fury that you have never seen before ever. Oh shit! And I cast immolation on this creature. Okay. This motherfucker right here. Seems to be a saving throw. Deck 17. Look at that. ♪ Immolation, you're breaking my heart ♪ I get a 16, so I am going to use a legendary resistance. Hey. As... It's not good enough.

Too bad you can't counter still legendary resistance. He burned it though, he burned it. He's still gonna take half. Yes. Which is good. I get to reroll ones. So that's gonna be eight, nine, ten, sixteen, twenty. Twenty-three, twenty-eight divided by two is fourteen plus, sorry, twenty-eight plus five is gonna be thirty-three divided by two will be seventeen.

16 points of fire damage, and unfortunately, that's it. Is he concentrating on Lufti? So, he is. So he's going to roll. Motherfucker. And I don't move, and that's my turn.

And that's going to pass on concentrations. You're still in the air. He burns, but he is able to channel his psionic ability to dampen the flame. And he says, is that the best you can do?

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Don't worry, I'm gonna cast it multiple times. I love Pokemon. Um, Ez, suddenly, uh, suddenly Toa, you come back to reality. You blink. He just hit you. And he blinks. And he smiles evilly at you. And he's going to, after just burning your turn, he's now going to hit you.

And hold on, let me see. What the fuck? It was the best of the times. And with that, I'm going to make... How many attacks does he have? Fuck. Oh, there it is. Let's see if he gives his temporal strike back. It was the best of three. I love that shit. I'm not advantage, right? Correct. I have problems of my own. I'm very, very weak. Oh yeah, you're fucked too. That's fine. One's going to horribly miss. The other is going to be a...

24 to hit. That does hit. He smashes into you with his unarmed strike. Does psychic versus bludgeoning matter? Oh, yeah. Okay. So, bludgeoning is going to be... 20 points of bludgeoning. Okay, 10. And then... As...

- 11, 15 points of psychic damage. As it racks your brain and he is going to, he is going to stay there, I think. And with that, that's gonna be, oh, hold on. - Do I feel older? - You just got, you just literally just went six seconds in the future.

Oh! You just got rocketed six seconds into the thing. You just missed a round. As far as what I saw, did I see-- He literally hit you and suddenly you went out of time and then suddenly he was next to you again and he basically-- It was instant. So I didn't see the intro to Doctor Who or is that-- No, you didn't. I wish. And he actually-- I didn't roll his third attack. Oh, there's a third attack, eh? There's a third attack.

That is a 17. That would have hit. It misses. You manage to dodge out of the way, damn it. With that, it is her turn. That's his turn. Looking up at Lufti, there's no way that I can possibly get her down. She's 30 feet in the air. Yeah, you're not going to jump down. I'm going to bonus action check a potion of heroism, so I get 10 temporary hit points, and I get the plus...

I missed what you said, I'm sorry. If only we had a climbing bag. Some sort of climbing bag. That is amazing. So bonus action chugged a potion of heroism, so I have 10 temp HP and I get the blessed one. You feel heroic as you down it. Heroism. So then I will... Do I feel like these crystals, like this one that just got shot at Caprice, is it still like...

- Illuminating, like it has a magical energy. Does it like, is it charging him? - There's a light in it, but it's not zapping you. Like it's not hitting, yeah, it's still active. It's dimmer than it was before when they were focusing on it. So it's kind of like this dull glow. - Okay. Can I infer from it being there with the other ones that it's somehow maybe charging him or fueling his power at all? Or are they just there? - I would say it'd be very, you know that they were charging that. Until you try to engage in some way, you may not be able to, you would not know.

You're certainly welcome to try. I'm just gonna smack this guy next to me on the right with a this plus nine, five plus, and I still have 14. 14 hits. Bless you. No, 14, he dodges out of the way, actually. I have Bless going and fucking, I rolled a two, god fucking damn it. So, second attack.

Oh yeah, that should have 23, but I guess like 32. 23, that does hit. You cave in his chest and he collapses to the ground. He's dead. All of the orcs are now dead. Well, then Thunder Smite is gone too, right? Correct, yes. I'm going to go up to Crystal. This way or this way? Oh, Crystal. Oh, there goes Luffy. And Luffy's dead. And?

And, um... So these guys should still be within ten feet of me. Um, I just used my... So, yeah, I'm... Okay. What the fuck is this crystal doing? Caprice, can you figure it out? Also, are you feeling okay? Oh, God. He pukes up blood. And with that... He is going to...

Use a legendary action to send another crystal actually closer to that. And you're going to send it careening towards Persia. Dexterity saving throw, please. Damn, I can't use my fucking... I can't use my pauldron here because it's not a ranged attack. Pauldron? Does your oil of slipperiness help at all?

No, that gives you freedom of movement. That's just grapple and then restrain. It will end no difficult to restrain. Shit, if I'd known that, I would have greased up with her. Well, this would... Oh, so saving throw so I can add bless to this? We'll see if it matters. So far, freedom of movement doesn't even matter. Well, unless your spell is grappled. Restrained doesn't count. It's anything that would take...

where does the crystal land like 20 right behind me uh is reasonable here that's reasonable yeah okay i'm trying to think like at a diagonal i want to knock her over

- 32 points of bludgeoning damage as it smashes into you and you are knocked prone. - You gotta have that 10 hit points. - I can't do anything. - With that, it is Lifty's turn. - You are in the air. - You can use your action to make an acrobatics or athletics check. - I'm gonna just flex and just buster it out.

I'm gonna do that. Yeah, you're Bonesy Birdman. Thank you! What do I have to do, athletics or acrobatics? Athletics or acrobatics? Oh, mine, thank you! You're right, you're in deep shit. Sadly, you are out of range with my aura. I have to keep doing what I'm doing, though. 'Cause I'm only fighting you. 'Cause I'm in an RP moment. Well, you burn the bird. It's fine. It's fine. 25? 25, you manage to wriggle, and despite his mind gripping you, you manage to actually wriggle, and he's unable to hold you, and you land, making you fall 30 feet.

gracefully with a slow fall. - Yes you do, you have slow fall. - Is it, can I perhaps kick a leg out and just stomp that guy in the fucking head while I'm falling? - You know what, I would say because you're falling, rule of cool, make a quick acrobatic check to see if you're able to do that. - Okay, that's fair.

- Plus nine. - Yeah, plus nine is 22. - I will say I made one Iron Arm strike on him. - I would do that. - For basically landing on him. - Yeah! - Okay. - And I will tell you, I'll tell you what it does. - Nine, what is that? - 23. - 23. - Oh yeah. - You were able to land on him and it's not quite attacking, you're just dropping and you're drop kicking him. And so that is gonna deal

And what number is he? Number two. Number two, 13. And that was the one that was weakened. You land and with a ticketing crack, his neck breaks and collapses onto the ground as you fall on top of him and move to the left. Nice job, Lord. Okay. I'll take my little thingy back. So do I lose my...

Turn? Yeah, that was your action, yeah. Can I move at all? You can move, you can move. You just fell. You wouldn't be taking opportunity attacks unless I want. I think that's okay. Oh, no, you want help. Okay. Caprice looks fucked. He looks like he's in deep shit. I'm just gonna come right here. Okay. And you do that, and with that, he is going to... It's Caprice's turn? Oh. Oh, it's Caprice's turn now.

- Okay, so nothing happens and I will look at the two monk gentlemen in front of me. How are they looking? - Monk gentlemen, they look rough. They've been singed. They're not like on death's door, but they are looking rough.

Welcome, Birdman. It's Birdman. Harvey Birdman. Attorney at law. Back when Stephen Colbert had a voice for us. No way. I didn't know that. He was the chief. I did not know that. Yell at Toa. Toa, steal yourself. You got this. Beat the shit out of him. Inspiration. I peek up blood. You see blood pouring out of my nose and ears. Seriously? Oh, yeah.

Me too, buddy. I will shaboot myself into a Tyrannosaurus Rex with Polly Moore. Yeah, we love this. Okay. I would say he can just like, how big is the crystal? Just crush it.

Right? I mean, like, right? You turn into a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex. And with that, he is going to... Yeah, that'll be the conclusion. Use his last legendary action to look at you, Caprice, as a dinosaur. And...

he's gonna say, "Your tricks will not work here." And he make a strength saving throw. - But you're a T-Rex now. - We'll see what happens. - Is it a T-Rex's strength? - Yeah, he uses a stat block, yeah. - They might be proficient also in,

Why doesn't it have the actual scores on it? That's very annoying. I mean, I have a 25 strength, but what is that actually in modifier language? I got you. That's a plus 7. A 26 strength is plus 8. So 25 would be plus 7. Plus 7, yeah. Okay. So your strength is plus 7. That's an 11.

An 11. You feel as your Tyrannosaurus body is crushed and you see this massive Tyrannosaurus get lifted up in the air. Ow, ow, ow. Where are you going, Caprice? I can't talk to you.

- As long as you can hear my psychic scream. - Do your T-Rex impression. - Can you watch that? - There you go, that's good. - God, it's either a T-Rex or a beluga whale. - Nailed it. - Do not insult beluga whales like that. - That's the Steven Spielberg T-Rex. - Oh my god. - Did I take damage from that? - That's very good. - Nice.

I don't think, right? No, no, you're just held. He is going to see that you are in his business, and he looks at all of you, and his eyes flash, and his head starts to shift, and he becomes blurry. Attacks, actions are at disadvantage against him until the next initiative round point. Oh, fucking hell.

Yikes. Good thing I don't give a fuck about that. Iris, you're up. I am going to... I forget that it was my turn. Great. All the monks are dead. No, there are two left. Oh, that's right. They're behind King Krem. I am going to use my feline agility to get...

Oh, is he that big? To get all the way up. Close to Toa. Maybe like three spaces away from Toa. Wow. Oh no, actually I'm going to go straight up to Toa. You're going to pass and take one opportunity attack. Unless there's a reason why you wouldn't.

- That's fine. - Okay. - Okay, opportunity attack on arm strike. And that's gonna be a nine. You managed to dodge it, just sprint forward to tow it. - And I'm gonna put my hand on him at a fourth level and cast Cure Gains. - You do that. - Thank you, Iris.

Okay, he's out of legendary actions. You feel Iris' paw on your back as Shivatu has been obliterating you and you feel your wounds close. It is now your turn. Whose turn? Felix's, yeah. Your turn. The flames were riding up my gloves towards my elbows.

As I see Toa reappear and all of my friends are a mess, I basically shout to this being, whatever it is, "No! No more! This ends now!" The flames go up to my shoulders and I cast Immolation again. Okay. I do it. Deck 17.

That's gonna be a natural 20. Shut the fuck up. Wow. Natural 20 plus... We roll ones and twos. 30. But you're cute. Natural 20? I don't think I can do anything. I don't think it matters. That's gonna be 12. 17 plus 6 is gonna be 23, 24, 25, 26, 27.

- Plus eight is gonna be 35, plus five is gonna be 40 points of fire damage. - 40 points of fire damage, wow. - Well, half of that, right? - 20 is gonna pay. - 20 is gonna pay. - Unfortunately. - Still good, though. - So 20 points. - Is he concentrating on Caprice? - As he's concentrating on Caprice, as he...

Let's see. You maintain it? I wanna see, so 20 points of damage, what's the DC on that? Just 10. Just 10. It would have to have been 21 or 22 to matter. It's not worth it to Legendary Resistance this. As it bursts on him and the fire disrupts his concentration and Caprice, you feel yourself begin to fall.

as you fall 30 feet. I need Herja. Yeah, I mean, he's huge, right? I need Herja and the monks to make, what do you call that? And there's a crystal right below him, too. So prone, is this at disadvantage, or how does it work? Yes, yes. What am I throwing? Dexterity? Dex save.

I'm gonna smack this guy right in the face. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Can I just wiggle out of your feet just in time and use like a bar of soap? I'm a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I have no idea what that is. Actually, that would be pretty great. Oh man, Dex. Oh no, Caprizz. I got an 11. They also take some damage, right? Chrome doesn't say that you're disadvantaged.

No, I can just roll on-- A thrown creature's only movement option is to crawl unless it stands up or overhands the condition, which could technically mean she can't get out of it and is just hit by it. DMZ. The creature has disadvantage on attack rolls. An attack roll against the creature has advantage over the attack rolls that are by the feet of the creature. Otherwise, the attack roll is disadvantage to the one it has. Welcome. So I could just roll regular for you. Hello, thank you. So yes. Yeah, roll normal.

- I reroll it. - As you smash down and you land hard on the ground, I need to make an acrobatics check to see if you can stay on your feet. You smash down, the monks are looking to, as Iris rushes past them and they're looking to chase after her, and suddenly whoosh, they are splattered by the Tyrannosaurus rex. - You needed an acrobatic for me to see that, Dan? - Yes, to see if you're pro. - Acrobatics is dex? - Yes. - 12. - 12, you unfortunately fall

You are all prone, but you are no longer being restrained as you take, do you fail? I failed, yeah.

25 points of bludgeoning damage as he smashes into you, but you are not swallowing. Shoot her! Shoot her! And with that, that's Felix's turn. He doesn't have his Toad Hero. What a disaster. He's got one more legendary resistance. Please, somebody fuck this guy. But in a bad way. Do I feel like he is very dodgy?

You get that sense. Okay. Well, he said he would have advantage on a certain attacks for a turn. Yes, I'm going to bonus action down one of my final casks of Laporte. You take his now age at this point. It is delicious as you down and you feel the magical properties. And then I'm going to make...

Recklessly, so normally, I am going to, do I wanna make a power attack? I'll start with one power attack and see how it goes. I mean, given who we're fighting, it's power! What was it? Deck save was, I'm guessing 12 misses, right? What? 12 misses? 12 misses, yes. I'm gonna make a regular attack here. That is a 22 to him. 22. And, hold on.

As you are going to smash into it, a simmering shield raises up and it blocks your maul. Let's see if I proc a second attack here.

I do not. I think I'm done, and I will roll my healing potion biz. Okay. Oh shit, that was only for one hit. Well, shield is gone now. Wait, does it not work spell shield? Yeah, it is. So until the start of his next round? It's his turn right now. Oh, then yes. Yeah, it's gone. Well, perfect. It gone. That was for one hit, great.

I'm going to... Let's see if he gives him a full strike back. He does. And as he looks at you once again, he says, Have a fun trip. And he's going to make an attack against you. Fuck. Are you kidding me? 18? Are we violating brute power? 18 to hit. Oh, that misses!

You dodge out of the way, and that is his turn. He's not gonna move? Yeah, well, he's gonna get fucking his skull bashed in if he does. He is, no, actually he is going to move towards that kind of window area. Son of a gun. Which window area? Towards the lady's table. Damn it, how many spaces? 30. 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, all the way. May I take my reaction? You may.

I'm not going to. Okay. He floats away from you. And with that, it is... Is this 15 this way? Yeah. With that, it's worth 15. Oh my god, get off me, big oaf! And am I just prone or am I grappled? You're prone. I'm just prone, okay. He's got knocked down. He's not like crushing the wall. On top of me? But is he blocking the road? Yes, he's absolutely blocking the entire thing.

- Can I climb him? - You can make an athletics check to see how well you can get over him. - Don't get, when he gets up, don't get close to the pit. - And it was difficult terrain. - Well, she's slippery.

That's true. So would it be harder or? No, it says freedom of movement says that you are not affected by, it might be magical terrain. Yeah, it says unaffected by difficult terrain from spells and magical effects cannot, well, hold on. So a physical, like, would not count for physical freedom of movement. The idea is that if it was like they were to like shift the earth, you would just fucking go for it.

- Okay. - Freedom of movement, C. - I'm sorry, Kim. - The only reason I know about this is because Vandris just applied it before we took a break. - Slippery old. - So I can't slither underneath him or around him or anything?

I would say you can make an athletics check to see how you can slip by. Yes, the T-Rex is technically magical, but it's not the magical ability that's causing a difficult terrain. It says the target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain. And spells and other magical effects can either reduce the target's speed or cause it to paralyze. If that's the case, so be it. Yes, you can slip under it then. I thought it specifically said magically created difficult terrain. The target can also spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints such as manacles,

Yeah, so you can slide under, you can penguin slide. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get on my belly and penguin slide underneath him. So five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. You can use half your movement to get up, right? So you actually just get to like slither over him. Oh, is that, is it prone? Yeah, prone. And oily slipper doesn't do anything against prone. Yeah, I guess, I hate that. So what do I have now? You have three squares left. Okay. So you,

I have 35 feet of movement. Is that full three squares? Three and a half squares. Yeah. So I see you can just barely pop out on the other side of Caprice. Yeah, so if you want to appear next to Lifty, you could. As soon as you get in, the oil is like. Right, right. You use a little hand inside. Not appropriate. It's like casting flash into a wall. You appear on the other side. Yeah, exactly right. You kind of get stuck in it.

- And you pop it on the other side. - No, I hate all the malignancy. - That's my fetish. - As my action, I will cast Aura Vitality, which causes a healing energy to radiate from me in an aura of 30 feet until the spell ends, the aura moves with you, centered on you. You can use a bonus action to cause one creature in the aura, including you, to regain two D6 hit points. Who seems the lowest between, I guess,

- Toa, Iris and Lufti. I'm guessing the T-Rex is fine. - I look quite bubbly. - I might even look a little bit cuter than when we got here. - I'm bloodied. Not far below bloodied, but I'm certainly bloodied. - I would say you would have to in character ask. How's everyone looking?

I feel like shit. I'll heal Iris for two d6. That was very slick of you. Iris, take my Wornpaint and Hugs for five healing. I will reject them, thank you. You said for five? For five. Two d6 healing. That's my action, my bonus action in my movement, so that's my turn. And with that, he's gonna use a legendary action to...

- Levitating crystal next to you, Toa, and it flies at you. Oh, the one next to Toa, towards the TV. Dexterity saving throw for me. - I can see it coming, presumably. So I will advantage that business. Pretty good. Oh, 18? - Oh boy. - 17. - Oh boy. - 10. - 16. - Let me confirm. - Seven.

That's fine. 18 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, it's blood. Smash into it. You are knocked prone. That's not fun. Okay, Lufty, you're up. Which is nine total, right? Because I'm just tapped. Oh.

- Guess you. - Could be. - Excuse me. - I'm gonna prone you, but face down so it doesn't fuck up your cheeky. - Oh no, that's okay. - We're all cuddle bugging. - I am going to just bubbly bounce as quick as I can and I'm gonna go all the way over here 'cause I have 50 feet of ground. - Yeah, no, you easily get up up to him. - Yeah, I do. And then I am going--

to make a, um, sorry. Oh shit. Mike's going to start making the rat noises from Donkey Kong pretty soon. Oh yeah. What do they sound like? Eek!

When you jump, I assume Doggone Country 2, right? With the rat? So it always uses half your movement to get out. Yes. So I'm going to just have been running at him with my spoon, and then when I get there, swing out at him. Yeah, get that motherfucker. 16. He dodges out of the way. Can I, I guess I can't add an inspiration after that, can I? Oh, yeah, you can. I can? Can I just tack it on?

- What? - The rat boss, maybe the beavers, they'd be naughty. - 19. - Oh, you're at disadvantage though, so I'll say you save that, 'cause he is blurry. - Oh, I forgot he was blurry. - You would have probably missed anyway. - Yeah. - Okay, so that would be-- - So you need to keep your inspiration. That's the spoon attack, it's blurry, it dodges out of the way. - Okay, so second, I will make a disadvantage.

So roll. So you got two threes. Two threes, yeah, no, he dodges out of the way. His AC is 20, just for everyone's context. So my Kimmel was actually referring to very naughty, the beaver boss from D.C. So good. Yes! Wow, that's surprisingly apt. Kimmel loves it! Kimmel!

That's way too close for anybody's business. Holy fuck. I'm seeing that over and over. I'm seeing that miss, too. Man, I've been worthless this fight. Holy shit. Fucking tell me about it, motherfucker. Well, I mean, a beaver is a rodent. It's the second largest rodent in the world. It's the American beaver.

So I hit him and I'm going to spend a ki point to make that a stunning strike. - Oh, wait, what'd you hit? - She got a 21. - I used my inspiration and got a 21 on my last hit. - 21, is he gonna do it? - Shield. - Okay, fuck you. - As he, the shimmering shield washes over him.

And that is his second shield that is cast. No, I don't know what I'm doing on my fucking turn. Who knows? What the fuck should I do? Just get up and look at him and go, make sure he doesn't do a lair action. You get up at him and you charge him and bite his face off. He is, however, going to look at you and return with his own unarmed strike. Why? Because...

Just tuned in and you spoiled the ending of Donkey Kong? Oh my god.

17 to hit, yeah. Does not hit me. You dodge out of the way from his hand. I want to make a charge. To be fair, get there. This is Donkey Kong. He's gonna teleport or something. 25-year-old game, and that's the first boss. And it's referring to K. Rool being knocked on his side. That's fair, that's the final boss. You are all looking weak. Do you wish to give up and become my mind slaves? Fuck this guy. I don't know.

I am gonna fucking, I am so angry. Freeze your hope. I'm so fucking mad. You stand up. Now, I can't move through Herja. Can I stomp over Herja? I don't know, you're huge, and yeah, you'd be able to get past her. It's just difficult terrain getting past her. Can you move me 25 feet closer towards him?

So, like, get her on the corner and make that one. So you're here. Actually, no, just go up this way if you can't get towards him so he blinks in another direction. Okay, all right. That's 25 V. So, well, what's your total movement speed? 50. 50? So he used 25 to stand up. But then getting through her would be difficult terrain. So if you lose 10, so you're down to, like, 50. I would just be straddling her, though.

So hold on, so you have 25 left. That's one, two, three-- Oh, oh, you're right, you're right. So give me the 25.

Two and a half. No, no, sorry. One, two. How's his shield work? Three and a half. You can probably get there. It's the whole round, right? And it gives him plus five. Yes. Shield is until his next turn. I'm okay with that. Yeah, he's just getting us five to his AC. I just start lumbering, stomping towards, charging in my teeth, saliva flipping off. Slavering. Slavering. I am very pissed off Tyrannosaurus Rex, and I'm stomping towards him. Okay. Do you want to use your action to sprint?

Or would you like to dodge? Oh! Dash. I will 100% use my action. Yeah, because then you can't get away from it. You have your reaction. You still get to take an opportunity attack. Yes. Fuck this guy. Oh my god, I am... He's going to use his legendary action to look at you as his massive... Tyrannosaurus. That's really good.

He's going to say, "Getting bigger will not make it better." And he's going to try to-- Strength saving throw. Strength saving throw. Strength saving throw for me. Strength? 18. 18. Natural one, eight.

As you are lifted 30 feet in the air. Fuck! In the fuck ass. What if he's gonna die when I fucking unload on this guy? Okay. Layer action. Layer. Oh, layer action. Ooh! Layer? I hardly even know her. Oh, no. Layer action? Oh, no. These blur drops. And...

And with that, the layer action, he's going to look around and his eyes are going to glow as they spin around. All four of the crystals rise into the air. Rise. And are going to attack. One's going to fly at Lufty.

- No. - Another's gonna fly at Iris. One's gonna fly at Felix and the other is gonna fly at Herjohn. - Is Dex saving? - Is Dex saving? - Dex saving throw DC 18. - Dex you say? - As they begin to glow and shake. - I fail. - I actually passed this time, holy fuck. - I fail. - 23. - I fail. - First bad roll I've had all day. - No one was it.

I rolled in your box. Okay, you can roll in my box any day, babe. You heard me, boy. Oh, a spicy routine. I passed, but I failed my friend. 22 points of bludgeoning damage if you fail and you are knocked prone. Half in, no prone.

Oh no. I have my reaction, so I'll use still masturbation to take my damage. It slams at you. And with that, it is Iris' turn. I don't know why I'm looking. I'm sorry. It seems like you're right. I'm going to stand up and I'm going to put my hand on myself in front of everybody and cast Cure Wins at the left level. When I think about you, I touch myself. No, you're

- Oh, you already used the first level one on Toa. - Thank you for looking out for me. - Do you take half damage if you pass? - Yes. - Yes. - What was the total? - 22. - So you take 11. - Yeah, 11 points of damage. - And you're not prone. - I think we did difficult terrain for moving through allies. - No. - No, because he was so big, he stepped over you. - He's two sizes higher. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, so it was, but he's two sizes bigger, so he can just step right over you. - Oh, perfect, cool. - Yeah, you felt a giant Tyrannosaurus lumber over you. Like the top of,

You're very small. Okay. You heal yourself, you feel the power of Anubis. With that, he cannot legendary action. So using half of my movement, as I stand up, my arms are completely engulfed in flames. I spit blood on the ground as I push myself up. The bookmark that Zurn has given me begins to glow.

My torso is engulfed in flames. And I cast immolation one more time on this guy and say, everything you know will be reduced to ash.

Oh, snap. Oh yeah. Fuck yeah. And it's a natural one, so it lasts legendary. Fuck this guy, I'm so fucking mad. Let's go, Andy. Mo' pedal, mo' problem. And I'm gonna reroll all of these. Thank you, Mike, for the magic item you gave me. Fuck. Yeah, suck my balls. Still not great, unfortunately. That's gonna be a 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

Plus 12 is going to be a 31, plus five will be a 36, divided by two will be a 18. 18. He gets bursted. Fuck you, Mike. 18. Speaking of donkey, big feet look bald. He's going to make a constitution saving throw. DK spoilers, watch out, DK. DC is, Jesus. Okay. I'm not supposed to be taking Caprice's job in this fight.

And suddenly, Caprice, you feel yourself drop again, as he loses concentration. And he's going to look

and as he drops, he's gonna make a saving throw. - Poor Lucian. - Do I get crushed? - He gets crushed too, he gets crushed too. - Yeah, no, he fails his saving throw. - Okay. - Body slam him. - Puts an elbow behind it, Caprice, don't give it to him. - Can you make a dexterity saving throw for me? - 26 for me. - You're gonna take half of this.

Where the fuck is-- oh, why did I put this away? Jesus, I'm an idiot. Dexterity? I think it's just a 3. We'll see. 25 points of bludgeoning damage if you failed. And-- 25? 25, yeah. If you failed, which-- And it drops. He's gonna take it too, as he is now prone beneath the tail.

And I have to make a constitution saving throw? He was K-rushed. He was K-rushed. Oh my god. 14. No, it's more... I don't know what that is, but I like it. It's a DK country man. Okay, fuck, so he's crushed by a Tyrannosaurus.

And you're prone. Oh, wait, what saving throw did you get? I got a... 11... Oh, I got an 11 straight. 11 straight. You are prone and you take the full amount of that damage. So 25. 25, sorry, 25. With that, it is Toa's turn. Ugh.

I don't like this guy very much. How's he looking, by the way? He's barely been touched. That's what I feel. He is stuck in a T-Rex's back. He's prone and there's a T-Rex tail on him. I see the T-Rex over there and I say, that T-Rex gave this potion to me, I might as well use it. And as a bonus action, I will pop the Potion of Haste. And I will... Let's fucking go! I've used 20 feet, but now I have...

60 more feet of movement. So that should be enough to get up here. This is the first time any of you have seen him touch the ground. As he is now trapped underneath a massive tail. It's the first time he's been put on his back foot. Unleash the Kraken. So now I will, I'm advantage, correct? He's prone? Yes. Yes. So do I make them power attacks and just try to fucking end this guy? Just do it, Rhett.

- Is that when you minus five plus attacks? - Oh, so I will not do that, but I will make two attacks. - What is AC's 25? - 25, currently is 25 AC. - 25? - But you could possibly bring concentration on that, right? Is shield a concentration? - Oh, that's not even close. - That's not even close. - Can we crush these cripple mobs, for real? - I'm making three attacks based on the face.

I mean, I should have been casting Shatter. I played this whole combat horribly wrong. You're living to learn.

- Do you? - It is. - 62, so you're not propped with fury, but I got a natural 20 on one. - Hey, gotta give it up. - Overdarn, overdarn! - Everybody create your own. - 24. - But that misses. - Which is misses by one, right? - Yep. - Wait, seriously? - Yep. - 24, yeah? - You got shield up. - You shield up, that's right. - Sorry, hold on, let me just go to actions real quick.

Damn, yeah, 24. And then I got two 24s. No fucking way. But I crit him still. That's so good. Which is nice. Four, two attacks. Oh, but I already bonus action. Fuck. So I will one, two, three, one, two, three, four, five, 26 because I'm a barbarian. Shield is very good. Shield is very good. Not bad, not bad. So 10, 16, 22.

- 20, 22, 32 damage. - 32 damage, you smash into him as he's on his back, 32.

Okay, you smack into him and it is now his turn. What is he going to do? He's right here, if you guys can see him. I'm trying to get him in view here. There he is. He's behind everybody. He's right there. There's old Sheev. He looks like shit. He's like a horrific yellow alien guy. I don't like him.

I don't care for him. Looks like he has a beard made of flesh. He called me old flesh beard. He is going to use his action as he's surrounded now. Pajamas are coming down the stairs. Oh, wow. In pajamas. Oh, I have not seen his... Has he recharged? He did not recharge his triple strike. So he is going to look at everyone. He's going to be surrounded. Nice.

He is going to just see you hasten and he is going to just unleash a flurry of blows onto you. Is he advantaged? He is not because I did not use my quest. He floats back up. He's hovering in the air now. You will die. And all three are going to hit. When Lufty made me think about getting underneath earlier, I should have mentioned flurry of blows. You're still raging, right? I am indeed raging. Okay, so I'll do bludgeoning first. This might be it.

24 points of bludgeoning damage and 12 points of psychic. Holy hand grenade. The next one, he follows up with 15 points of bludgeoning and you gotta be kidding 13 psychic

I'm down. And he's going to reach down and look at you. And with a, as you fall down, he says, your friend will die. And with that. So he crits me, right? He crits you. So two death saves. Two death saves, yeah. Okay. Herge, you're up. Bonus action.

See, I can get to him. Yeah, I can get there. So this is... - 15. - Well, this is 30. - That's 30 minimum. - You're getting too toa. - And I got 35. So can I cast this at a higher level?

- Yes, I can. - Can be cast at a higher level. - You can, but whether it has enough-- - Is he saying it might not do anything additional? - Are we still disadvantaged? - I'm sorry, I'm still here. - So any spell can be cast at a higher level, it just might not ramp up. - His shield is down, by the way. - Okay, I was gonna just cast Cure Wounds. I just made sure I had it prepared. - Oh yeah. - So I'll do Cure Wounds at a second level. - Okay. - And then I will do my bonus action. - Thank God. - 2d8 as well.

Oh wow, that's actually really good. So that's 18 plus 21. You feel the power of Morden wash over you as you return to consciousness. Come on, Toa, get up. I believe in you. Come on. I'm on my head. You desperately rage against the inevitable, rioting struggle. Eww!

- And that's my full turn, bonus action and action. - Okay, with that, it is-- - I'm just on my back like . - Am I disadvantaged on him now? - Me too. - What was that? - Is he still shimmery or like am I disadvantaged on him? - You are not disadvantaged on him, however, he is going to-- - Legendary action. - No, no, no, skip that. - He's gonna legendary action.

and he is going to see Toa down and he's going to make an advantage strike. - He's not stupid, right? - He probably has a very high end score. - That's what a big bad would do.

- Can I impose disadvantage on that as a reaction? He's within, let me see. - You are not next to him, so he is totally, your face is literally right there. - Oh wait, yeah. - So I'm technically in this chair. - It's a short master thing, I don't think it's a panel thing. - Yeah, the enemy has to be within five feet of me, not in total. - That is gonna hit. As bludgeoning first. - How am I having anything cool? - 14 bludgeoning.

Got any more of them ki points? No, I got any more of them ki points! 21 psychic damage. I'm down. As the psychic energy shocks your brain.

- Okay. - Oh, thank you! - The second you come up, you just see a psionic fist punch into your face. - Nothing but more pain. It's like pain and then nothing and then pain and then nothing. - Okay, lift it up. - I'm gonna take a spoon swipe at him. - Okay. - Which we miss. I'm gonna take another spoon swipe at him. Which we miss.

I'm going to... What's his AC? His AC is 20. 20? Yeah. I thought it was 25. It dropped back down. Yes, on his turn it dropped back to 20. So I rolled a 10, so that was a 19, and the second one will hit, okay. For how much? I gotta roll my damage. Stunning strike! Yeah. I need to know how much, what did it hit though? It was over 20. He's out of legendary resistance. It hit 20. Did it hit 20? 22 hit. Shield.

as he cast Shield a third time. Okay. And then I will make another for my bonus attack. Okay. 25 AC.

- 27. - 27? You're angry at this point and you punch through, the arching shield cracks just for a moment as you, or the psionic shield that surrounds him and it cracks for a second and you punch through. - I think that drops the shield, doesn't it? - That is, um. - No. - No. - I just flavor it like that. - Six bludgeoning and seven lightning damage.

Six bludgeoning and seven lightnings. And it'll be a stunning strike, so he has to make a con saving throw. Six bludgeoning and how much damage total, by the way? It was, oh, sorry. Six bludgeoning. 18 total damage. Okay. As you smack into him and he needs to make a saving throw? Yes. A con. 15, do you say? 14. 14. 13. 13.

Oh my god! And I'm at legendary resistances. Yes! Yeah, you fucking are. So what does Stunning Strike do? Automatically fail fucking dex saves? Please fucking tell me. Yes, yes, he stuns. Thank you, let's fucking go! A creature is incapacitated, can't move, and can speak only falteringly. The creature automatically fails strength and dex saving throws. Attack rolls against the creature have advantage. He cannot take actions while he stuns. We can't legendary action. Oh, also, I'm going...

To run. Readjust. Scoop his eyeball out. So as his shield glistens, he looks at you and you hear all in your mind, your attempts to survive would fail. I have shaped limbo around me. I have...

And he's not stunned as you finally break the-- actually rattle his mind or he's not immune to stun. He'll stun for until-- Until the end of my next turn. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, hold on. Stunned until the end of your next turn. Oh, yeah, my next turn. Oh my god, so it misses him completely. Yeah. You basically waste a turn and it's for the monk's next attacks too. Yeah, okay, that's-- Caprice, throw up. I will stand.

I'll help you out. I will look down at him like a lawyer sitting on a toilet. And I will attempt to get a natural 20. You're advantaged. I'm advantaged. One more, one more. You can do it. Come on.

Oh, Peyton, no! Sorry, Peyton. That was a two, you fucking deserved it. The first one was a five. Yeah, well, the first one was a five, so what's it-- Plus? I'm not even close. AC is still 25. I didn't realize that was gonna happen. Yeah, AC is still 25. He threw his metal dice on my Peyton minute. Good thing Peyton is sturdy as a brick shithouse. She's literally a shithouse. Sturdy as a brick shithouse. Brick shithouse. I'm just saying, "sturdy as a brick shithouse." I miss, and that's the end of my turn. Holy fucking hell. Okay, you're still-- Unless I can use a twist.

That's not worth it. You're able to... You're just getting used to it as you chomp down, unfortunately. You're still getting the sense of the jaws on the ground. 25 is still crazy AC to hit, right? Like, it's very high. All I needed to do was roll a 10 or higher to hit. Oh, really? Yeah. Fuck, well. With that, it's the layer action. Can you do a layer action on Capacitated? Well, it's the layer itself, right?

Well, it depends, right? Well, no, because a lair action is technically an action that happens while the creature's in its lair. I'm going to leave it up to Mike. Because the creature's in its lair. It's still in its lair. It can... I'm not going to... And Hanske does insist that we twist. For my attack? Yeah. Yeah, and Hanske just gives a twist. Give him a twist. Give him a twist. On one attack. Just one attack. Booty tapering. I'm going to do it in here. I was just doing that for flavor, but I'm going to do it in here. That's cocked.

- It's not cocked at all. - That was 100% cocked. - No, it wasn't cocked. - Yes, it was. - I'm gonna vote that it was. - Okay, okay, Reg. - Okay. - What's cocked? - No, no, no, I'm not being patronizing. - Derek, just roll again. - I'm saying from this angle, it was. - Okay, that's fine.

An 11. I hit with a 21. Yes! No, you don't, because he's 20. He set his shield up. Oh. Even when he's stunned and stuff? No, no, no. Her strike didn't break the shield. She got through it. There is no concentration for shield. It's effective until his next turn. I thought you said that it had dropped. No, no, Maya said it had dropped. Nikki said, no, it hasn't. And I said, no, it hasn't. I'd fuck this all up. I would not destroy game stage.

Thank you for the-- For the pursuit of his head. Trust me, please. It's fate. Hi, Jyn Hall. As, unfortunately, the psionic barrier around him, as the Tyrannosaurus Rex is trying-- Did we pull one out? He thinks for a moment. I did. And it may not be-- he's not sure if it's actually his brain or his Tyrannosaurus brain or his--

Fuck mystics! I just look like a lizard sucking on an egg right now. And with that, I'm not going to do any of the stuff that he actually does, however you hear as eight more orbs feed themselves out of the

- Oh, the pits you say? - The pits near Felix, right? - This is the pits. - Yeah, so two are gonna go on Felix, two are gonna go on Iris. - Son of a bitch. - That doesn't matter. I'm very focused. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Let the orcs rip my limbs from my body. - And then we're gonna get, let's get a two on Herja. - Mm-hmm. - Me.

One's gonna go on Lifty right there. It absolutely was worth the try. And then I think an additional, there's one more, right? It's gonna go on Phyllis, it's right next to it. I don't give a fuck, bring it on. Where is it? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, right there it is, sorry.

And so we're gonna get, they're gonna recklessly attack as these mines. Are you on Felix? I'm on Felix. I've got an AC of 16. We're gonna do AC of 16. So the first one is going to be a AC of 16. Is Peyton okay? I'm sorry. Oh yeah, she's fine. 24 for the first one. That'll be a hit. Okay, it smashes into you. And I need you to make a strength saving for a while. We're at it. And the axe cleaves into you.

You are not prone. Sure. Are the rest of them at advantage there? 11. Well, I guess they're already raging. They're already recklessly attacking, so they're at advantage regardless. But that is 11 points of slashing damage. Yep, got it. The next one is going to attack you. 19. Hits. And you're going to take 11 points of slashing again. Okay. And wow. 14 is the highest.

Miss. Miss! Miss! You managed to roll out of the way despite being knocked down. You managed to roll out of the way. Iris, they're going to recklessly attack you for a 21. That hits. Okay. 13 points of slashing damage. Strength saving throw for me, please. You got it.

- Credit card? - And the next one's gonna be a 16. - A 16 misses. - You managed to dodge out of the way. It doesn't matter if you're prone. - Saving throws, trying to save, I'm pretty sure that I failed. - 15 is the DC. - Yeah, I failed. - 15, you are not prone, but they're advantage anyway, so I don't know why I had that ability. Herja, you are, it was really for the monks, but they're all dead. Herja, you are gonna get a natural one and a 15, that's gonna miss. Next one is going.

The lowest is a 17. - Nope. - Okay, next one is gonna be a 21. - Nope! - Okay. - 22! - As you are blocking all of the orcs with your shield and that's their turn. - Aha! - With that, it is our turn. - That's plate plus shield. - Fuck. - Plate plus shield. - Plus. - I am going to...

Look out at Toa while I'm on the ground and I am going to cast Healing Word at a 5th level. Get the fuck up! The word is good. The word is good!

25 points of healing. - 25, and say a prayer to Anubis, and Toa, you are finally brought back. You see all the chaos around you, and with that, it is-- - I'm also gonna stand up. - Oh, and you stand up. The orc mind slaves still is looking at you mindlessly, of course, and with that, it is Felix's turn. - I am going to also stand up, and basically from one knee,

I'm still engulfed in flames from the waist up. I'm smoking. I have one, I still have my dagger in my hand. I hold up my hand and I look at this creature, whom I guess is Stunning Strike, and I say, I will bathe you in hellfire and dance in your ashes! And I cast a fireball at a fourth level. You do that.

And immediately, all three orcs are incinerated. And they burst out. As the able-to-shape your spells, your coat and your clothing are not burned. They're not harmed by the fire. And you unleash a hellfire storm around this. That's going to be 18 with ales. 18 plus 6 is 24.

Plus another nine is going to be thirty. Wait, I said twenty four plus nine is thirty three. Plus five is thirty eight points of fire damage. OK. To only him. The rest of my friends take nothing. All of you are all despite. And I am spinning as he spits blood, the orcs all around you and explode your anger and your

rage and your hatred on this Githzerai as he continues to have that circlet with the piece of the Rod of Seven Parts, the Rod of Law in his, grafted to his skull. You ignite him, he's unable to dodge. He's singeing, his clothes are burning out, his flesh is melting. As a bonus action, may I take a potion? You can, you may. I will do that. And you down it.

It's your greater. You are on the ground, flames whipping around you, but you are unharmed. What do you do? How would you rule the haste potion working through unconsciousness? I would say it's on you still. No, no, no, no, Mike, Mike. Well, that's a great question because it says it casts a haste spell on you, right? No, it just is the haste spell. It is the haste spell. If it's no concentration, then you're fine. You're perfectly fine. It's in your blood. It's in your blood. You're not dead yet? So I stand up.

I try to say words, but I'm like slurring and like half of my face is drooping and I will attack. His AC is still 25, right? He needs to just... I'm going to make regular attacks then and let me just...

We're getting the resources down. We can tell through the key, really. That's the key to this puzzle. Fuuuuck. MMS. So two hits. Yeah. Two hits. They can be counterspelled. The problem is I haven't been in counterspell rings this entire fucking fight, even though I've been trying.

I'm just not in there. Roll into the pit. Great suggestion, but you know. No, for a sec. Instead of Roger S. Jack. So that's 41, and let's see if my Windfury procs. And it does, my Windfury procs. So I'm gonna come around again for a fourth attack. Thank you, Windfury. Kill him, power. Will you give me a hit? Yes, sir. And that's another hit. Oh, wow, okay. Gotcha, Kevin. This is what you do, Kevin.

Did you bring me a seltzer, babe? Sure. Like a non, like a regular, like the orange ones I brought? Yep. Nope, I hardly even know it. 17 damage bludgeoning. Magical bludgeoning if it matters. Only 17? For the last hit. What did you roll for the first one? Oh shit. You never told me. Yeah, I did. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You never said anything. You never said any, I've been listening for your damage. Oh, fuck. What do you hold? It was two sixes, a five and a four. Tell me the total. So hold on, sorry, so sorry.

What did I just say? 17. Okay, so remember that. 17. So take 17, and then the next two are... Okay, 17 I've added. Hi, that guy with glasses. 12. 41 for the other two attacks. Okay. So 41, so 50, yeah. Please cave his skull in. Okay.

- I doubt it, he's gotta be super powerful. - Yeah, you smack and smash and smash and you're able to break through his psionic shield. One is able to be blocked by it and kind of pushes you back, pulsing still around his stunned head as you see the great welt along the side of his skull where Lufty hit him incredibly hard.

I will bonus action pop back, I think my second to last brew. Pop back a potion and it's his turn. He finally snaps out of it and he says, "No, no, not yet." He skipped his turn, right? It's the start of your turn. It's at the end of his turn. His turn comes. No, it's the end of Lifty's turn. My turn.

So, Hersha gets to go, then Luffy gets to go, then he gets to potentially be alive. I'm afraid you're griefing, Kierta. With that, it's Hersha's turn.

Who's looking like shit right now other than Tor? I did consume a potion, but I was like coughing up blood. But I'm also nowhere near anyone. That's the problem. You could be near my aura potentially is what I'm trying to decide. He has three guys on him. All I'm saying is that it was very clear that I was like shaky, cast a spell and chugged a potion. That's all I'm going to say. His shield is gone now.

Great points. So what's it back to? 20 is now? 20. But, you know, do what you think is best. I'm just telling you how Felix looks. It's rough. I will put 20 points of Lay on Hands on Toa. Okay. The power of Morden fills you and you are bashing him. You're feeling like you might have the upper hand now. Finally, the healing washes over you and...

- So he's up here. - Passes up some of your wounds. - That's not a wound. - So how much was it, 20 you said? - You got 20, yeah. - No, I'm moving for the viewers at home here. - Oh, I'm sorry, okay. But that's not actually taking space? - No, no, no, I'm here. I was moving to show. - Just to show where the creature is. - Oh, okay, gotcha. - That's big bad right here. - Okay, and then I will, I'll move here.

for 2d6 healing to Felix. Love that. You take 10 healing. Oh yeah, baby, give it to me. Does beacon affect that? Beacon's been down. Beacon has been down. I didn't realize it was a conk. Would have been Max. Once again, a power mordant also heals you, Felix. Running around healing people. And this is 30, and then this is 35. And I'll be like, I'm coming!

- I'm coming, Iris, I'm coming! And that'll be my turn. - Okay, you see a slippery herd of trout. - I'm just hauling ass! - She's lifting her up. - She is lifting it. - Stopping wet. - I'm going to, he's on the ground, right? - What did you say? - So I'm just gonna stomp. - Stopping wet. - I'm just gonna stomp and stomp and stomp and stomp on him. - Yep. - Okay, do I have to hold that? - He's in your advantage because he's stunned.

I needed to rage to the damage that I told you, so I'm not taking the potion I rage with my motorcycler. What the fuck? That misses. You got this. You just get one hit. I'm gonna do a ki point for fury. Flurry of blows. Okay, so that one hits. That does hit. And that misses. Are you fucking kidding? Okay, so one is going to hit him, and I am going to spend another ki point to make it a stunning.

Vertical. Okay. You gotta lock that chakra. So it's a con save DC 14. 17. Oh, I'm sorry. This does not go into that because I already hit with it. Lock the chakra. Shit. Lock the chakra. 11. 11 damage. 11 damage? Not something.

Okay, 11 damage, you punch into him despite him being stunned. I am going to disengage with Tipsy Sway. I mean... Well, he's still stunned. No, not anymore, it's the end of the turn. Not yet. But if I eat the rod, if I eat him, and he has the rod on him, and then I unpolymorph,

You will die. You will die. You will die. You will die. You explode. I might be able to poop without bleeding. No, you'll die. No, you would have horrible internal bleeding. But that's... He did what? Ate him. If he ate him and then the rod was inside him. With that, he snaps to... Yeah, the rod was inside him. ...the surrounding.

I have mastered Limbo. It killed the Lodatch, which killed the first incarnation of the great god Primus. And he snaps two and he blinks out of existence. He gets teleported. Is that a spell? No, it is an ability. 30 feet.

I guess. Let's very action. 30 feet, I guess, towards Felix, and he's kind of in a fucking shitty place, but he's going to try to get away. Yeah, fuck this guy. He's going to blink away from the Tyrannosaurus. When do the other guys go? The little guys. I mean, they beat the shit out of me, yeah. They did their thing. Okay, that's going to be his legendary action for Lifting Caprice. You're up. Can he hear me psychically as a Rex?

Do you maintain your intelligence? Yeah. Good. You will know. No, no, my mental stats didn't change. So you cannot speak. My mental is negative four. I'm at two. I would say that you can't speak. He will probably have a tap on your brain and he's not hearing T-Rex thoughts. So yeah, I'm going to...

And then I'm going to run at him. I'm going to attempt to chonk this chonk. Do it. Taric should only be able to play, like, not much. Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody's ever allowed to shit-talk my dice ever again. Okay. First turn of my turn. He made a dodge out of the way. It is his turn. Lair action.

With that... That's what I get for saying it was going to be a natural 20-year-old. And then hitting Peyton. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah, it was 100% hitting Peyton. Bad juju. This is going to be perfect as he looks all around you and he says, Now, fly! Fly!

and he would cast Reverse Gravity. And I'm going to attempt a counterspell. You are in the range, 7th level spell. Does it matter the spell with which I cast it? No. No, I was going to do it at 3rd. I didn't know if it mattered. And when I roll, I add just my spellcasting modifier, which is 5. So I need to get a 12 or better. It should matter. Okay.

No, no, it only matters if you meet or beat the spell automatically. Yeah. That's gonna be an 18. Fuck yeah! And he presses his fingers to his temple, and you start to feel the gravity leave you. You feel his arms still raging with fire. You reach out, you're surrounded, you're bloody, but you manage to snuff out the magic as you all

- Oh, but the orcs still get to go. - Yes they do. - And with that, they are going to be, they're advantaged on Iris. - Why are they advantaged on me? - Recklessly attacking. - Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. - That is gonna hit. - I'm sorry. - That is gonna hit and that is gonna be the, oh wow.

Six points of slashing damage. Wow. And a strength saving throw. I rolled a one. Strength saving throw? 17. You pass. He tries to knock you down. He's mindless orcs. And with that, we are going to get three reckless attacks on Felix. Let it rip. 16 is my AC. The first one is going to be exactly 16. Okay. And it is going to be...

- Give me less than 10. - Eight points of slashing damage. - Perfect, perfect. - It slices you. - Less than 10 is all I wanna hear, baby. Oh, strength saving throw. - Strength saving throw. - Yep. I fail. - One was a natural one, but the other one was an 18. - Hits. - And that is going to be seven points. 12 points of slashing damage. - Yep. - Okay.

And that's gonna be, wow, at 11. Miss. As it misses the last one. Okay, Iris, you're up. I am going to cast Cure Wounds on myself at a 4th level. Okay, you pump the power of Anubis into you and your wounds, your blood-soaked fur is starting to close up a little bit as you feel that glow. Felix, you're up.

Yet again, as I'm getting beaten down, I don't give a fuck, right? I'm all fucked up. I'm going to stand up and look at this creature. And again, at a fourth level spell, I'm going to cast Fireball and say, I will reduce you to nothing but bubbling fat! And hit him again.

I will have told Hersha. You and the others, they need your help more than I do. Okay. Deck 17 for my main dude, who's about to get fucking destroyed. ♪ Bubble and fat ♪ That would be a 16. So he'll fail, so that's going to be 10. 10 plus nine is 19, 20, 21, 22.

45 fucking points of fire damage. 45 points of damage as you ignite and you're killing all the other orcs too, I presume. No, I'm attacking this motherfucker. You're just fireball? Yeah, I can't, it's only 20. Oh, you can't reach them, okay, cool. So it ignites and once again, your friends are safe and your eyes now are blazing with fire as your arms, as you are continually cast fires. Mm, mm, mm.

45 toad points of fire damage. Thank you. Ball is 48, so you have to be free to maintain the game stage here. Yeah, you do that. He is blazing. He looks around you. You do, you do do that. After getting your, after getting counterspelled by you, he now looks at you angrily. And he is going to attempt to do something to you with a legendary action, so he is able to do that. Fuck, he can't. He knows he can't run away.

Oh, no, change gravity was three legendary actions, so he can't do that. Toad, you're up. I'm gonna walk around. You all right, buddy? My brain is like, oh shit. I will recklessly attack him

I'm still hasted. I will recklessly attack him three times. That's a d12. I got the hunger. Still? Always. Do you want the remainder of my lemon soup? It won't curb your hunger at all. It's literally just water flavored like lemon. I've got some fruit in the fridge. That is a 20.

- That hits. - Nice. - And you see as he tries to protect himself, nothing comes, no shield comes. As you manage to smash into these, he's used all of his shields. - So all three hit. I will check to see if I proc Windfury.

I do not. No, I certainly do not. So that's one, two, three, four, five, six. I don't hate that. I can always just save the sound. That's pretty good.

i've got salmon 58 bludgeoning damage 58 yo hit me up don't damn me oh sorry sorry very nice yo you're just gonna just

Adrenaline is too. Yeah, I'm fucking... As you smash, smash, smash, blood, you see a tooth fly out. Blood is pouring down. His mustache and his beard are red. His cloak is tattered. He's looking rough and he says, I still have the unlimited power. I am an anarch. I bend the wheel and if you kill me, you will all die with me.

And with that... It's his turn. It's his turn.

I mean, I didn't like what he said, though. It was scary. Fuck. I am so tunnel vision. Nobody could stop me doing anything right now. As he is going to use his action... To cast a spell, hopefully. To... Cast a spell, maybe? To maybe cast a spell. Look around, and he's going to use an empowered telekinesis. Is that a spell? Yes. I'm going to counter it. Okay, that is a seventh level. Okay.

So that is still 17, which means I need a 12 or higher, which means I fucking nailed it, and it's counterspelled. I got a 21. And you have your reaction back. Yes, I do. That's why I'm doing it. 21, and it looks around, and all four crystals begin to lift in the air.

And suddenly, once again-- - No! - And it is Counterspell and they drop and-- - And shatter. - No! I have the power here, you will be my mind slaves. And with that, Herja, you're up. - Okay, okay, Iris, I'll go help Felix. I'm gonna take one smack at number five just to get him off of her. - Okay. - Wait, you get him off.

- 18. - 18, it hits, you crush them. Their AC is 17. - Perfect, and then I will smack the other one. - You're advantaged 'cause they're berserking. - Oh, nice. I haven't rolled a natural 20 yet. - My hit just kills it, so. - Yeah, you smash it, you crush it. - And then I'll bonus action 2d6 to heal this. - I kinda like your reaction, that's...

And you take eight points of healing from Morden! I love it, baby, come on. And that's my turn. I'm here for you, buddy, I'm next to you! Feel me. Oh, and with that, he's going to use a legendary action to teleport 30 feet towards Iris. Oh, fuck. Jesus, I just left. Everything's gonna be okay, Iris. This is my chamber. This is my citadel.

And that's his lift, you're up. - Hey asshole. - Hey asshole. - Where are you going? - I'm going to... Does he have a shield up?

- Not yet. - He's used all three of his shields. - So no more. - So no more shields. - So 20 shields. - So no mas. - No mas. - You burned his resources wisely. You burned his psionic resources. - I am going to spin my spoon around and lower it so it's maximum head weight. - I am so in breach. I am a barbarian right now. - Yeah, you got it.

28C? I am so angry. That was two hits. Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah, so one hit. So one hit. Yeah, one did not. If any of those fucking immolates had landed... I'm going to spend a key point for Curie of Blows, and I'm going to make this one a stunning straight. That's so good. That is true. Yep. One hit.

- It's a cock. - You can re-roll it. - I don't want to, but I feel like two would be fair. - Well, I feel like you'd re-roll it if it were a one. - If it's cocked. - I think it's a cock. - Yeah. - It's a cock! - It's a cock! - It's a cock, all right. - That one's a cock. - That's a penis.

- Oh my God, you missed. - Oh my God, I did. Okay, so it'll hit him one time. - Okay. - Stupid. - Don't even play, so he has to make a stupid, stupid. - 14. - Khan, 14. - 14? - Khan, blah, blah, blah. That is going to be a 17. As you smash into him. - Stupid mother fucker. - Your chi bursts into him, but he manages to resist it. His blood is pouring all over him. How much damage was that? - 10 damages. - Okay.

I suck in this game. Okay, with that...

- He has two legendary actions left. - How's Lifty looking? - Oh, good. - Fabulous. - Oh. - Never better, darling. - What would you call his class, like a mystic? - He's a mystic, a psionic. - A psionic. - He calls himself an anarch, whatever that means. - If he turns and look at me, I wink at him. - And with that... - You can't. - I mean, I can, but I can't do it without opening my mouth, so it's like...

He is going to look at you. He's just gonna reach out and he's going to return the favor with a punch to the face.

But his puny noodle arm's only one point of health. That is gonna be a 23. That'll hit. That'll do! It's bludgeoning versus-- sex, like, it doesn't matter, right? Yeah, she just explodes. A streak of red, wherever it used to be. Viscera, red mist. I don't like this conversation. Why don't you roll all those? Count 'em again.

Get him again, Banner. 24... 29... 36...

They're all cocked, Mikey. 36. 41 points of damage. You use an arm strike and you see the psionic as soon as he hits you crush into your bones. Your brain fries and it's wracked with pain. Everything he does is horrific. 41 points of damage. I don't look as good now.

- I look less good. - Your arrogance will be your downfall. And with that... - Yikes. - Oh, that was Caprice's turn. - You know what's dumb is I could have just... - I will run up. - I added a little extra movement. I could have moved. - I will attempt to hit him with my mouthpiece. - Yeah. - I will give a 20. - I like the second hand on the hips. - That's exactly enough. - My man! - Yeah. - Eat up! - Let's fucking go.

Oh no. Three, nine. It's just one of them, so I'm not gonna pick the higher one. I'll reroll and actually do it right. 16, 23 points of piercing damage. And he was a...

And it's chomped as the massive maw crunches into him. He is now chomped and grappled now. Very quickly, I use my tail attack to destroy the other one. Oh, and swings it around, smashes it. It is turned into viscera. Love that.

And with that lair action, ooh. - Well, I mean, we're killing innocent people. Like as soon as we kill this guy, all the orcs are gonna be like, "There we go, fine." - He has one more legendary action. As soon as you feel in your ball, your jaws close as he teleports directly behind the crystal. - Here? - Oh, no, no, no, by Iris.

Oh, this one. And you see him look, and as he looks in the line of all of you, as he looks in the line of all of you, it's you in the back. Yes, young human, let the hate and anger flow through you. No!

And psychic lightning shoots out. What's the DC? Do we know? You know what the total is. It's a DC 18. Yes, DC 18. Lightning. Yeah. Deck saving. We all roll except for Toa? Everyone except for Toa? I have to roll an eight. And this is a savage 20. Natural 20. 20. I have to get it up. I have to roll an eight. Oh, I'm at disadvantage because I'm still exhausted. So lightning. I'm glad that you checked me. No, no, no. No, no, no.

I rolled a d3. I'm not close to d3. No, it's a saving throw. No, no, we're dead. Oh, sorry. I'm-- I'm-- I'm-- Felix has your d3 plus one for her. Calm down, fucking Palpatine. Oh, then I got a 23. Yeah. I got a 23. I'm way over. I'm way over. I fail. I fail. I got a 24. I'm probably gonna die. No, no. He dies right now.

- No, I think I die right now. - No, you're all right. You might be dead, but you know, sacrifices. - Pretty easy anyway. - You gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet, you know, all that jazz. - You're all right, babe. - 10, 10. - Grant, Grant Ellis, Grant Ellis, Grant Ellis. - 23, 27.

33, 37, 39, 44. - That's a Eulon. - 52 points of psychic damage if you failed half. - 26 if you succeed. - So 26 if you succeed. - Boop me right over. - Boop you where?

Right over dead. Right over unconscious. I'll use my reaction for shieldmaster evasion. Oh, and it completely fries the two orcs, by the way. As they're completely obliterated. He does not care. I will use my reaction. Do I do a path?

If you pass, yes. And what was the total damage? 52. Okay. I can't save my concentration save, so I drop back out of... You see the Terran source. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not then. I have three health left. Why am I making myself dead? Does you taking four less damage matter? No. Okay. Well, I still blow my reaction trying to block some of the damage. It charges through both crystals and charging it and zaps in. He's up there. As...

Oh, and I will say... Are you unconscious? No, I'm 17 now. As the lightning passes through the crystal, and you all just feel like a sudden rush in your stomach. It's almost like a temporal warp from the lightning hitting each of those crystals. And it feels like time is almost gyrating around you. And then suddenly, as...

And this is the first sound that you have heard from his actual mouth. He's laughing maniacally. Okay. Is it Iris' turn? Iris' turn. I'm going to walk directly to him. Oh, you're not... No, I have three health. I thought these were 29, which was exactly how much I had. No, you're good. You're good. I misunderstood. I misunderstood. I'm going to walk directly up to him, and I am going to...

It's a 20. 20 is a safe. Correct. Long rounds make for some weird thinking. Yeah, I'm going to put my hand on him and cast a foot wound at a fifth level. Okay.

- Fuck yeah. - Yes! - 24. - That will hit. - Nice! - So, hold on. Does anyone have any D10s? I need seven in total. - Oh, yes. - I got four. - So I can do perfect, that's all I need. - Aw, man. - You don't need any more? - Nah, 'cause I have three. - My damage is usually pretty stupid. - I'm kidding, I'm just trying to make you fly. - But this is gonna be the instance where you curse me. So it's not called the Jessic's curse, it's called the Kelsey curse.

Thanks, Chessex. Fuck you. Hey, man. I was a victim of the Chessex race. I rolled really, really loud. It wasn't yours. Anubis is like, your life is on pause. Actually, is that a one? Yeah, that's a one. Okay.

- Oh my god, this is like a really bad Nervin levels spell. 27 points of damage. - Yeah, you reach out and your paw touches him and you see his mottled skin, his veins are turned this horrible black as he's almost overcome by plague and pestilence. 27 points of damage. And he's looking rough now, 27. - Is he barely bloodied right now?

Here you go, Andy. Nice. Sorry if I let you down. He's looking rough. No, you didn't. It wasn't... It was my dad. He's not letting me down. Uh, okay. And he is going... He has all of his legendary actions back. What? Between Iris' and Felix' turn?

No, he doesn't. Yeah, fuck off. Yeah, no, you're right. Oh my god. Jesus. Take it easy. No, I am fucking out. I can tell. You look like the Keith Miser. Yeah. Yeah. Is it Felix's turn? It is Felix's turn. So again, it

engulfed in flame, still dagger in one hand, hand in the other. Tears begin to stream down his face. I relish it! I relish the burning! Another fourth level fireball on this creature. It's my last fourth level spell. I think you're going to have to kill Felix. I think you're right. Deck 17, my friend. This is unlike anything you have ever seen ever. That's going to be a reroll on all three of these.

Dex? Not bad. That's gonna be a 16 plus six is 22, plus eight is 30. That's 12. That was 16 plus six is 22, and it was three and five, which is eight, which is 30. Correct? Am I wrong? So hold on, this is 11. This is 12.

You said 16. That's not what is correct. So 11 plus 12 is what? 23? 26 damage. 26. I apologize. Plus another 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. 13 plus 26 is 39. Plus 5 is 44 points of fire damage. How do I do this? Yes!

Yes! Okay. With the utmost disgusting fury that anybody has ever seen Felix, the most primal, war, horrible, horrible, burning, bubbly, disgusting, reduced to nothing. Wow. Rage that anyone has ever seen from Felix.

as I cast this fireball down on this creature, and my friends are spared. As he's looking around, his veins are black with the inflict wounds, and he sees the flame, and he just begins laughing. Yes! Let the hate flow through you! In killing me, you have killed all of your friends! Who do you think keeps the chaos at bay? Ha ha ha!

And he is completely boiled alive. As his veins pop, as you see, feel his eyes rage with fire, his arms, he's now engulfed in flame. And Kivatu falls to the ground dead. - I miss literally every time. - A charred corpse. And as soon as I cast that spell,

I will just like collapse. It's that scene. I'm going to immediately graft with a rod. If I can see it. Cause I'm right next to him. He's right next to him. You fall to the ground and you see that his, his body is sitting away. It's sunk in. And you see where the circlet had been grafted into his very skull has been melted away. And you see a, a piece no more than seven inches long. A, a, a, a, a,

a silvery, a bronzy color. And it almost like hums with light. And you reach down and you snatch it up. And then suddenly you hear a as you all feel a massive lurch. We gotta get the fuck out of here. - The yellow dog is yellow fleas. The yellow dog is-- - Don't go to sleep, Toa. Don't go to sleep, come on. - I'm gonna run over to Lufthansa and-- - 15 months, wow.

Sons out, buns out. This ass doesn't smack itself. Get on up. And I'm going to heal her for five points. Thank you. And you lift her up and try to start dragging her out of the room. Let's see if we can get zero.

Oh, sorry. You feel another pulse of the crystals. And you all, as soon as these crystals pulse again and suddenly, as you see a piece of the ceiling above you shift into a burst of flame and then shift into a wave as rubble pours down. And you, and once again, the crystals pulse forward

and as you're running out, you're suddenly 30 seconds ahead, running down the tunnel, and you suddenly hear . And as a part of the wall of the hallway you're running down shifts into a boulder, drops to rubble, shifts into water and melts away, you hear screaming.

As you can see various floors that have been torn away as many numerous Githzerai are being, they're screaming now as they're being torn apart in the elemental chaos. But not just that, you see numerous bodies running around, flesh in their teeth, red, blue, green, slottie, are swarming the Citadel as you continue to sprint.

and once again, another pulse of silver light and silvery purple light surging, you presume, from the crystals all around you, and suddenly you look around and you're very nearly to the edge of the tunnel, not really sure what happened in between, as you see up ahead the point that you had seen that you had been dropped off.

but the entire side of the Citadel has been completely crushed in on itself. As you hear screaming below as the Githzerai are being torn apart, being smashed by earth, burned by fire, deluged by water and zapped by lightning. Not to mention being torn apart by the Slottie now that are fully in control now, no longer kept at bay by the power of

Shivatu's mind and the piece of the Braat of the Seven Parts. And you run and you see that there's pieces still floating in the elemental chaos. I need you to all remove, all get rid of that business. As you see, as you feel like the Cloak of the Coast is clear, you're finally at the pickup point. As you see the elemental chaos swirling around, as you see... So we are here? You're approaching that. As you see...

you see that it is, that there are pieces floating nearby in the elemental chaos, and then you suddenly see bodies start to float up, and you see one, two, three, four, a swirl of 12 Gitsurai bodies rocket upwards like a geyser, and then you hear low guttural croaking sounds as one, red, two, red, three,

Red Slotty, arise. Another mass of blue and then a green flesh holding a gnarled staff as numerous Slotty rush up, riding the chaos.

And I want to roll for initiative. Wow, that's my favorite Metallica song, by the way. Ride the Chaos? Yes, yes, I will say that you're able to do that. My thing lets me heal like every six seconds. Wait, do I have advantage on initiative? That would be insane. I would love that. I do! I do! I would say you could probably-- You also fast forwarded in time multiple times. I totally forgot the first one.

You didn't get that, so I would say-- Pretend like you're helping me walk a little bit. I agree for a minute. Oh, fuck. And then you heal everybody? I'm like slurring my words. Up to one minute. So however you would have allowed. There's only one time. How many did you use? I used, I think, like five. That's not my name. Five. That's not my name. You can use five. That's not my name. That's not my name. That's not my name. So I will give nine healing to Iris. No, I don't want it.

I'll give 12 healing to Lufti. - Thank you, I do want it. - I'll give five healing to myself.

Any for Toa? Toa. This little Toa went wee, wee, wee all the way to Glimbo. Seven for Toa. Seven for Toa. And then the two of you, who's looking worse? I can barely walk. Okay, so. I like half carried Felix out. You can take five. You full carried Felix out. What are you at? Oh, great candy bar. Take five.

I actually like take five. Me too. They're very good. Everybody shits on take five. I like that. A lot of people shit on take five. And I tell those people to go fuck themselves. You see two blue slotty, pardon me. Nougat. Yes. It's Reese's plus nougat. Ooh. Yeah. Peanut butter? Yeah. And peanut butter and pretzel and nougat. Pretzel? Yeah, they're five different things. Yeah. That's why they're called take five.

If you're cool with it from an RP perspective, I would literally be relying on Toa to help me. I would have been basically carrying him. Not being able to process much more than that. I'm very hurt by my red skin. You can't see me that much. I am coughing up blood and crying. 20 to 25. I will enjoy a 25. Okay. I will enjoy a 21.

25, so Caprice is first. 21 is Herja. Who else? Or 15 to 20. Sorry, hold on, I didn't know. 18. 18 to whom?

- For Toa. - Toa, okay. - I played Toa, Mike. - I had 17. - I'm Toa. - Lifty, Felix and Iris, what'd you get? - I got a five. - I got a 13. - I got a five. - A 13, a five. - I got a five. - I'm gonna roll for the Slotty. - I got a five. - Red, blue, and green, here we go. So monsters one is the red Slotty. Lifty and Toa, what'd you get?

I got an 18. 17. Fuck. Well, 17, 18. You got an 18?

17. So are each one of these an individual slot or are they like swirls of Slotty? No, these are individual Slotty as they rise up and they look wildly. As you see the geyser, so that's in between you all. This is the blue Slotty. Like real frogs? No, they're Slotty. They're like frog monsters. I thought the pictures were real frogs. They're very Promethquith. Sweats and Vandross. You know what I really love?

sequins dresses. Sequins? And the green slotty is last. Oh, promiscuous-like. Okay. And so, with that, the priest's role. I get promiscuous. I'm wearing a sequins dress. Offensive firepower. You can just look after that.

I have no idea. Guys, help! Can I run through my gentlemen? It's difficult terrain. Through friends? 5, 10, 15, 20. Maybe I'm stupid. That's into the chaos, isn't it? Yeah, no, that's not ground. That's the elemental chaos. You can't just run through...

Shit that's going to rip you in 40. Oh, so I don't want to cross this line? No, no you don't. I deal it-- I mean, do what you want. Well, you could basically-- This is basically where you can stand. You don't want to end here. You want to try to jump to there. You know what I'm saying?

- You can jump. - No, this isn't a square. That's a square. - You don't wanna like get here and say, "I'll move five more feet and then ruin the event." - You can jump. - I slide to my heels and stop right here. And then I land right here. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,

and then I'll cast... I'll just smash my mule. Oh, shit. I thought it was a banana stone. Oh, I don't have it right here in front of me. I'm going to cast at a fifth level... Destructive Wave. Uh,

- Blue Slotty two, Red Slotty three, and Red Slotty two need to make a constitution saving throws. - Okay, so Blue Slotty what? - Blue Slotty two, constitution saving throw. - 15. - Failed. - Natural one for the next one. - Fails. - And a natural 10 for the next one. - Fails. - Fails, so they all fail. Outstanding, let's do this.

- Ooh, that is redness. - That is remarkable. - Holy, that's nine. - They couldn't get much worse than that. - Nine. - You almost can't get worse than that. - Nine, nine points of thunder damage and then... - Better, cocked.

I mean, is it? We're going to do the buddy system on Koss now. Let's keep it at one. We should get to a buddy system on Koss. Okay, so nine thunder damage and then seven, 11. Red salads, green salads, yellow salads. 16 points of necrotic damage and they're all knocked prone.

Necrotic? Yeah. Not fun. Thunder. The first one was thunder. Nine points of thunder. Then 16 of necrotic, and then they're all not prone. Nine. Who is the other one? So nine, and the thunder bursts out. They don't seem to take as much. They made of the elements themselves. So that is going to be, can you tell me what numbers those are, please? Two. Blue two. Blue two, red three, and red two. Standing by. Blue two, red three. I'm going to do that, thank you. And then how much necrotic for all of them?

- 16. - They take the full amount of that. - Okay, that's a full pro. - And they blast. - What is that? - Can they get the drone if they're flying on chaos, if they're riding the chaos?

I would say they get knocked over. They're disoriented. I'm going to run up to this closest one with a yellow, and I guess I have advantage. Blue two. Blue two. Got it. Do you separate bludgeoning from...

I'm a Velociraptor. Yeah, you are. People say to me often. You're more of that dexterous dinosaur. I lost it. It's fine. It's fine. 13 points. 15 points of rain damage? Give me the full thing for the number. What number is it? 13 for blue.

- Bluetooth. - Bluetooth. - Second hit. - I don't know what's going on over there, but y'all need to-- - Good night, Gaga. - Good night, Gaga. - I will do another Divine Smile. - Yep, yep. - That'll be 17 points. - 17 points, number two. - Same one, yep. And then...

- It is, yes. - Yeah, I'm just gonna bonus action check the healing potion, that's my turn. - Okay, you smash and smash the power of Morden, making it, singeing the flesh, onto blue number business. So yeah, you are tearing into him as the chaos is tearing all around you. And, uh...

Why would I do that? I'm an idiot. Sorry. Careful. You're good. Toad, you're up. I'm going to look to Toad as he's holding me. My one eye is closed. The other one's bruised. My ear is bleeding and I'm spitting out blood from my mouth. I look at him. I say, I'll be all right. I'm going to do it.

"Flee, please?" And I run up here. Oh my gosh. I'm just gonna... Tell us what you're gonna do, man. We're like, "Freak the Muddy" together. We're like, "Freak the Muddy." I'm gonna recklessly power attack these motherfuckers. "Flee, please?" "Flee, please?"

- Remember, you don't have to rep this attack. They're prone. - Oh, they're prone? Thank you, I will regular attack them. And if my Windfury procs, I'll be very happy. - Very cool, very cool. - And very legal. - Thanks, Maya, very cool. - And it procs, it procs. - Yay! - Let's fucking go! - I'm gonna get up.

- Oh man. - Sorry, 15 to hit and 19 to hit? - 15 to hit, number what? - Blue. - Yeah, they both hit. - And then last one here. This is all blue too? - Yeah. - Yep, another 21 to hit. - They all hit. - Okay.

- Should I do them one at a time? Like, I don't know how beefy these are. - Yeah, he's pretty fucking beefy. - Okay. - He's a giant blue ass frog. - He's chonked dead. - 84 bludgeoning damage. - Oh shit. - As this creature- - Oh, which one? - Blue number two. - The one that you're all attacking. - Runs beside, smash, smash, smash. Bones cracking. - Oh God.

and it spits out this horrible ichor as its eyes roll back and it gets immediately rocketed away in the elemental chaos. - In that case, I'm gonna walk up to the other one and bonus action for a fourth attack here. - That's like over 110 HP. - Razl. - Jesus, funny. - Oh, that's gonna make this almost a hit. - Razl.

Okay, you run over to someone else. Oh, the red, the red slotty, who's prone kind of on the side. And as you run up, you all see now what had just been the tranquil space of limbo has now been replaced with that same horrible elemental chaos. You hear the loud crashing and cracking of...

of the citadel being absolutely torn apart around you. Screens against their eye as they're being obliterated and slaughtered by the biz.

- Yam tube is also my favorite, Kimba. - I love yam tube. - Yam tube doesn't even need to describe what I love. - It's the one blue slot he's turned. - What are you? - It is going to swipe at her with a claw. And so it swipes at her regardless.

- Max damage. - Well, thank God it wasn't a fucking crit. - 17 points of slashing damage. - Okay. - It slices into you and make a con saving throw, please. - Is this for poison? - You're about to get tad pulled, girl. - Oh, so it slices into you and the chaos, the horrible chaos disease did not seem to transfer. - I think you're dealing with swine and young born babies. - Thank you, thank you.

I'll use my reaction to go, "Ah, fuck!" 12 points of slashing damage. Make a constitution saving throw for me, please. Is this against poison? This is against disease. Why did I roll two dice?

That'll be... A lot. 17. 17. That pass, you feel the chaotic disease attempt to transfer you, and it's going to lunge forward and attempt to bite you. Okay. That's fine. I'm not going to die from this. 14. But that misses. Oh, you managed to dodge out of the way, and that's the only blue slotty. Yeah, so that's its turn. Lufty, you're up.

- You sad little slobby? - Oh, okay, got it. - I love salad. - I am going to just squeeze up in between Toa and Preece and start just oiling. I think I'm gonna do...

- One spoon and then like a bicycle kick, so two kicks. So many juicy bitties tonight, thank you so much. - The double spoon is my special move. - Do we know what their AC is yet? - No. - Are you calling them a blue slotty? - Does 19 hit? - 19 does hit. - Okay. - Yes, but not spelled that way. Or maybe the blue slotty is my other special move.

13? 13? 13 does my special move is the gooey noodle. The blue one misses 13. Is your penis blue because it's choking? Ew. 16? 16 hits the blue slot. Okay, so he's going to take two hits. Singular slot for old slide. Sorry. Right? Yeah.

- Singular Slottie. - Yeah, Slottie. - You never know if he's like a Freedy and Slottie. - Freety, Freety. - Yeah, it's very confusing. - So it's gonna be 20 total damage, four of which. - To blue number one? - Yeah, four of which are lightning. - Four of which that'll be half, so that'll be 18. - Did I say lightning or thunder?

It's all I like. You smash into it and with that it is the red slot. Red slot, he's turning. Is he getting up? He's gonna get up, yep. Prone. And they are going to leap forward and float. One's gonna go directly next to Herja. The other one is going to leap forward and just get alongside Toa.

He can get along on the other side. You want to like... They're like sweeping over. Yeah, yeah. He can get on the side. Squeeze them in. If they're overlapping a little, just let it be. And with that, the...

We're going to get four claw attacks on Toa. Green Acres is the place to be. Five Eleven is the life for me. Two are going to hit. It's going to be...

A 21 and a 23. You're gonna get that. Country, you go. To me? No, to Tom. They are gonna slice into you as they claw us. Wow, they don't do much damage, honestly. I died in the heist. Six. I, too, died. 12 points of slashing damage. I need to make two con saving throws. Con saving throw, that's where I'm reviking. Oh, it's a donkey.

Thank you for finishing with that. A gazillion and then eight plus, I think, nine, and then I get Hirsch's thing, right? Plus three. So that is a 16, 17, that's a 21. 21, yeah, you slice and slice and you feel your resilience. And we're gonna get two bite attacks on you as well.

Lois is a 20 there. That'll do. So this is gonna be piercing damage. Oh, that's nothing. Ah fuck, I missed that. For a raging barbarian such as me, that's nothing. Nothing. Plus six. 21 points of piercing damage. Okay, and we're gonna get two swipes on Persia. Okay.

21 is the highest, so they're gonna both fail. Oh yeah, they will. It's gonna be a bite on her. That's gonna be a 24. Okay. And this is gonna be piercing damage. Yep. Three plus three is six points of piercing damage. Got it. And then that's their turn. With that, it is Iris' turn. I am going to walk up to Felix, and I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds at second level. Yeah!

I love that noise. I don't know what I was about to... Sounds like water. I can't do it. You can whistle. 17. 17? Holy shit! Then you can do that sound. You heal, you touch Felix's shoulder and how the warm sand feel closes your wounds. With that, it's Felix's turn. But you're making the motion with your lips as if you're... Having Iris just heal me, I'm gonna look to her and say...

And still tears streaming down my face. Thank you! I can't protect myself! My friends are dying! And I'm going to cast Flaming Sphere right there in that spot. Red 1 and blue 1 are going to make a dex saving throw of 17. Then they're going to take the full action of 2d6.

plus some bullshit. Wait, do they take it now or on their turn? So I believe that it says when the fire, I believe it's when they appear, they take it, and then if they end their turn. Got it, got it, that's right. So that's gonna be a 10. And I don't think, it's not evocation, so I don't get to add my int to it. So I think it's just 10 points of fire damage to blue one and red one. Is it conjuration? It bursts out, similar to the other,

elemental damage that you've seen. Does not do as much, but it bursts and they do take some damage and it singes them. I'm steadying myself on Iris while I do this. Green slots turn and the green slot is going to hop to the one that's closer to the mic.

and it's gonna look-- - That one? - No, one, no, no, not directly next to it, but in the middle, like in the middle of them. It's gonna, not melee, he's a caster. So yeah, fine. He's gonna, you hear a as his eyes go red with fire and he sticks out his tongue and at the end, a little bead of fire

I try to snap my fingers and nothing happens. - Can I counter spell this? - You can, yes. - You bet. - I'm out. - Yes. - Oh, 100%, I will 100% counter spell it. - You counter spell it. - I won't level. - It's a third level. - It immediately counter spells as the tongue lashes out and you manage to counter spell it.

And with... Yeah, that was important for me. And with that, you are all... You see that there are... Suddenly you're all standing there. The chaos is raging all around you. You feel another pulse of that silvery purple energy. And suddenly you're several seconds forward as a playback error has appeared. Oh, shit.

It's the Hellboy trailer. Here's hoping. The old curse of the Hellboy trailer. As suddenly you look around and the Slottie look confuses as you see the citadels crumbling all around you. How you haven't been completely consumed by the elemental chaos at this point is beyond you. Just like it is with chaos, you have been incredibly lucky.

and suddenly you all see a flash of golden light and you all heal for 36 points of damage. As you hear a voice in your head, "You guys did it!" As you see in a flash of gold and green as Kizaki

Rides off to you. And where? Where did the battle cam go? I really hated that guy, but now I'm excited. Tell me where. He's gonna go... Behind us, in front of us? Towards the mic, next to the green slotty. Right there. Holy shit.

Hezaki. Hezaki, you're the best. You should start a side business selling wands. Wow, things went south real fast. Get on my back. I'm trying. Please. I can't. We'll get out of here. We don't have much time. Can we go now? We could all die. If you could know, you need to get on my back. It's still combat. Yes, exactly right.

Exactly right. How do I get from here to there? Kill them. Very carefully. Kill them. Oh, kill them? Just kill them. Shoot her! Shoot her! Unbelievable. See, I was just gonna, like...

- You can try to leap through. You're actually not sure how gravity affects you. No one's so tempted to jump. - If I dash and jump through enemies, I am working through difficult terrain. - And jump is based on strength score. - Yeah, okay, well, I'm-- - I have to get through these enemies in order to get onto a map. - 'Cause I didn't save a-- - Which means that I need to

Wow, so much has changed since I started. So much has changed. Hizaki would know that the flaming sphere is dangerous to them. It's not friendly, right? They would know it's casting fire. Yep. I will...

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone. And I will cast slow on all five of these motherfuckers. I will cast slow on all five of these motherfuckers. What's the ability? T17 wisdom saving. So 19 is important. Is that hot, Seth? Nope, they all fail. Okay, so they're all slowed. All of them have negative two to DC. Dexterity saving throws. Can't use reactions. Can't use reactions?!

Can I try and difficulty drain all the way over here? Yes, you can, yeah. You can try. Five, 10, 15, 20. We don't know if it's a jump or a run. Do a leapfrog. You can try to jump on him, on the slotty. I will attempt to try to jump. Like leapfrog from slotty to slotty.

- You're dexterous as fuck, dude. - I will attempt to run on them in order to get to her. - So as soon as you run up, they slow down and they look like they're trying to swipe at you. And as soon as you push off, you're suddenly sucked up into the gravitational pull and you actually are able to jump 40 feet. - Whoa! - As you're able to leap into the air and they are unable to swing at you. And he's like, "That's what I'm doing!"

Come on in, the chaos is fine! Okay, with that it is, um... Holy shit. Hers is a great turn. Whose turn is it? Oh, hers is to get... Um... That's a jump! It was looking like shit.

- He's feeling the worst. - Oh, I'm pretty bad. - Use your little legs and jump! - Oh, actually, no, shit, we got healed. We all got healed through 36. - Oh, they're all feeling okay. - I look okay. - I will get all the Ciaran and I'll use my action to help anyone that may accidentally fly by or may need an extra voice. - You leap forward once again. They're in slow motion.

as they're attempting to slash at you, and Herja leaps forward and grabs onto Hizaki's back. And with that, it is Toa's turn. - I will recklessly attack all of them. Actually, I will say power attacks, of course.

Those probably both hit 20-something. Okay. Let's see if this procs. It does, okay. Nice, nice, nice. So another one. Is it after 20? Oh, let's go. I'd like to deny my threat. Bonus action, I'll do my fourth attack and I'll do a little-- Let's go!

Up until the point where I duet can you deny one of their credits? Two. It'll happen. Four. Six. I'm dead. You got enough there, buddy? Geez Louise. No burpee today. And we can split this up, however. Nine. That was a three. Nine. She's got her room.

I thought you said Tommy was dead. I need my charter back. I gave it to you. Thanks. 31. Get Tommy out of our house. 31 plus 80 is what? 110.

211? 111, yeah. 111, just any of them. They all did about, on average, whatever, so. Split it up amongst three. What are you closest to? All three of them. 111, you just demolish the red slotty right in front of you. And then I will use my amusement to jump through and get onto the Kirin. Welcome, glad you're here.

You leap forward and once again the gravity pulls you up and you start to feel as you rise up that you hear the screaming of the Gitsurai finally calm down. It's drowned, either they're all dead or it's drowned out by the sound of the Citadel getting completely destroyed. There's only a handful of pieces still remaining as the Slottie are all swarming and riding the chaos towards you.

and you may have to land on the-- okay, halfway done! And with that, it is Monster's two turn, as they are going to-- how does slow work for them? You can only do one attack, right? - Only one attack. - So he's going to attempt to attack-- - How many are affected? - And that is gonna be a natural 20. - Uh... - No, it's not.

Okay. With that, it is going to only be one. Do you have your reaction? Mm-hmm. Blue slotty. The cryo phoenix, like a Nibia, but Eevee instead. Yes, that's true. 16 points of slashing damage. 16? 16 points of slashing damage, and I need you to make a con saving throw for me. Yeah, they get no bonus action or reaction as they're slowed.

But that's it. If they want to cast a spell, they have to do something. Stupid thing. Maybe he's a great card. 19. 19. You must resist the Chaos Fade. And with that, that's it. Lufty, you're up. All right. There's a pathway for you. Yeah. So I want to just, I don't want to full blast off 40 feet in the air, but I do want to just do a little boop.

and then jump on this guy's face, which will be two feet attacks, and then launch off of him onto the back. - Cool. - Okay, you do that. You leap forward and you make some attacks on this fella.

- Oh, 14, I think misses and 21. - 14 does on the red Saladi or the blue? - On the blue. - On the blue, 14 does miss but 21 hits. - Okay, so I'll just kind of, oh, that one sort of slipped but I'll plant one right square in his face. - Yeah, you smash him on the foot, on the head rather with your foot. - And I already hit him, right? - Yes, he's wounded. I mean, barely, but yeah.

Seven. Seven points. You smack him, he's like... And with that, you land... I'm sorry, who is monsters two? Monsters two is blue slot. One of them will have to make a dex 17 saving throw. Okay. Blue slot? Yeah, it's only the one. Dex, that's a 15. Fail, and they'll take eight points of fire damage. Okay.

Eight points? Sorry, I apologize for missing that. I thought all the Slottie went in one turn. With that, it is the red Slottie's turn. And I can't see anybody in there. Oh, I see. And with that, the red Slottie are going to... They can only move 30. Wow!

Their movement's fucking 60? Holy shit. So they're all gonna turn towards the... They're gonna shove off and make attacks, one attack each on Lufti and Toa. They are slowed. Yes, they are, but they're basically leaping as well. So they're gonna barely be able to get there. The reds? The reds. And they're only gonna make one claw attack on each. It's gonna miss Toa and it's disadvantage on Lufti, right? Yes. Or even head, yeah.

Well, actually, oh yeah, because this is my last turn. 18. It misses. Okay, yeah, it's missed. Three's gonna have to make a dexterity saving throw. Okay, 14. That's a fail. Okay. Take five points of fire damage. Right. Okay, that's their turn, Iris, you're up.

- I am going to move forward and attempt to jump onto the Kirin. - Okay, you run forward and push off. And once again, they are trying to swipe at you, but the slow spell is keeping them restrained. And you land on the, okay,

- Just one more and then we can get out of here. You can see that he's still wounded from the- - Nah, fuck him, let's go. - From the crash again. - Can we do like an overhead helicopter blitz jump? - Oh, that's good. - It's Felix's turn. - I drop concentration on the flaming sphere and I try to follow Iris and use my action to dash.

You don't even have to die. You leap forward and you sprint and you just run out. Your flaming spirit disappears as you leap forward once again. They're unable to... Okay, is everybody on board? And with that, Green Slaad is going to... Oh no. Check it out on GAMM2. Like and spudscrap.

I can see you running through and just as your foot would pass through your green slot, it parts like the red seed. With that, he's going to let out a horrible croak and cast fear at a third level. He has to roll a 20. Everyone's immune to frighten within 10 feet of me. Oh, the green slot he also had. He rolls a natural one regardless.

So, and you see as he goes by his attempt to croak. Which ones did you have slow on? All of them have slow on that, and he just rolled a natural one, which means that that spell will take effect on its next turn. And suddenly he's unable to croak. Was he trying to cast fear? Yes. I'm saying we're all immune to being frightened. Yeah, but he's still trying to cast it. Oh, I see. And so he's unable to cast it. Holy shit. And with that, um...

Okay, let's get out of here! And you start to feel the gravity start to pull you as the citadel begins to implode on itself and starts to turn into all of the rushing elements. And he says, let's get out of here, we can almost make it! And he is galloping, rocketing through, dodging all of the elemental chaos around him, weaving through, um...

weaving through a massive swarm of Slottie, hundreds of them, as they're all trying to take swipes at you, as he's effortlessly dodging through, but there's very close calls, and with a sudden, a massive burst, as you're all bathed in this purplish silver light, as you are burst forward, you feel the strange temporal pull again, he's like, okay, here we go!

and a flash of gold. You once again feel your stomach leave you. And suddenly you come back to your senses.

Holy smokes! What an absolute nightmare. Hey, did you know that Yums is Disney backwards? So be it. And you suddenly, with a flash of gold, you see the blossoms.

all around. You look down, you see the crystal clear water. You are in the Grove of the Eternal Blossom. You see a singular figure sitting at the bank, meditating. The glaive across her lap and her paws together. I don't know. As Golden Lotus sits, and suddenly, as soon as she's bathed in the golden light,

You see her look up at you, and for the first time ever, you see a bit of worry. Oh my goodness, you're all alive! How? What took so long? How long has it been? She looks at you and says, how long do you think it's been? An hour, two hours maybe? An hour and a half maybe? Two hours? You've been gone for a week?

Yeah. The Horned Legion is almost here. Yeah. And that's where we'll end the session. Oh my god! Oh boy! Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legendsofavantris.

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