Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 28 | Timeless Tales: Part 28
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Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Felix Ackerman and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. Yeah, that's some serious shit. Holy fuck. Finally, someone is talking sense. What the hell was that? Are you alright? Foul creature. Commodus, he tricked me. If...

If he is truly going to destroy his own people, I do not care. An Elder Tempest is in the Prime Material Plane. Disastrous. It could destroy civilization as you all know it. You need help. Do you wish to save them and yourself?

Every fucking day of my life. Call for me thrice. Darkness returns. What did you dream? I had the same dream, but it was, I mean, it was different. You saw my family picture. It was the same, but different. I just needed to say his name. Deception beyond the lord of lies. Doom and chaos take to the skies. Corruption from abyss he brings.

Your path now lies beneath dark wings. He said the thing! I did it, didn't I? He said the name of the show! Did you hear that? We need to go back to Zintra. After we deal with this storm herald thing. As the doors open and the rumbling of stone, you hear what sound like chimes. Prove commitment to the law. The Vaati await.

The return of the Windukes. Like Vaati, does that ring a bell? Nope. V-A-A-T-I is how that would be pronounced in common. Okay. I don't know what any of that means. I can just read it. Akira, do the Vaati sound familiar to you? They... familiar? It sounds familiar to me. And Lifty, it sounds familiar to you too.

But you're certain you've never heard it before in anything you've ever studied. That's so weird. It's like on the tip of my tongue for some reason. And Alkira steps forward and looks. How do we prove our commitment to war? What is the law of the plain veil? There is no... ...law...

Perhaps we just need to respect this.

I'm gonna walk into the light and like kneel down. You walk into the light. Just like, you're here with a hundred detain of radiant damage. You step into the light and you kneel down and as you kneel, you feel a comforting sensation.

And you all see Toa begin to glow with a faint hue of... We should kill him. He's turning into a creature. Oh, no, no, wait. Can I hold up my squishing ray blower? Toa, do you feel all right? He's digivolving. I hear something. You hear a voice. It doesn't sound masculine or feminine. It sounds...

distant alien but common how will you banish the chaos just me that's all you hear that as you as you are bathed do we hear anything you hear nothing you see him glowing so we don't hear anything we will we will kill it we will destroy it we will stop it

Oh yes, he's definitely turning into a creature. Kill him now Chris. What is he talking about? Hold on! It said how do we ban- how will we banish the chaos? You don't banish chaos. You manage it. We will manage it! And as you say that, there's a pause and a hesitation.

As the beam around you intensifies, it switches from gold to blue to gold to blue, as it swirls around you, and you feel a sense of grace come over you. Some grace under the pressure of everything that's going on, and power. And you feel the need to arise and step up. I do so. And you see Toa kind of glowing this faint hue.

Have you ascended? I want to step out of the light and see if I'm still glowing. You are. There's a very faint glow around you. And you're sure? I don't know what happened to me, but you feel all right? I don't feel any different. All right. You're glowing, dude. I know I'm glowing. It's kind of neat. I want to glow too. Maybe we can all do it. I don't know if that's supposed to happen, but...

Anything change with the door after he walks out of the light? No. Do I feel more powerful, or...? You feel like there is a blessing of some kind upon you. I feel like I've been blessed! Yeah, I didn't cast that spell this morning. Can you open the door at all, or...? You push, and I feel like it gives away a little bit, but...

It's not enough. I'll walk in and kneel down in the light. You step into the light, and the same thing happens to Iris. You start to glow. I love gold. And you kneel. You get this beautiful glow, and it is almost emanating off every single hair of your fur. And you hear the same voice. How will you banish the chaos? You do not banish chaos. You learn to control it. Hesitation. Hesitation.

And then you feel that same feeling as the light intensifies and the air starts to swirl around you and you glow the same way that Toad did. How gorgeous.

I feel great. I didn't die, so... Come on, let's go. Let's all have golden showers today. I was in until you said that. I think I'll just end myself. You're fine, I'll push you into the light. I will attempt to push you into the light. I'll take that as a... It's your turn now. I'll willingly stumble forward. Just stand there. You glow.

And it's not unlike the light that comes from Beatrice when you summon her. Unbelievable. And you feel that androgynous voice in the back of your mind. How will you banish the chaos? Well, I guess the same way I tackle every other problem in my life. I'll learn as much as I possibly can, and then I'll be really stubborn until I do it. Over and over and over again, I'll just succeed after learning as much as I can.

And you feel that sense of power as you begin to glow. Huh. Look at that. Just when you think you've seen it all. Celestial unicorns begin barking in the distance. I love you. And... Especially barking. What else do you guys do? I step into the light.

Blue and gold is a great combination. I look pretty good all the time. The color of the glow, not unlike your skin color. As you step in, you hear that voice. Help me banish the chaos. I will banish it with strength. I will overpower it and I will put it in its place. There will be chaos no more. Oh.

The air swirls around you and you glow and you feel that sense of calm and grace and blessing as you step out. I feel blessed. I do feel hashtag blessed. I'll walk into the light.

You do that. Same question. Honestly, I have no fucking idea. I don't even know if that's something that you can do to chaos. But if there's a will, there's a way, and I'll find it. Using this. Then I'll hold up my veal. My veal. It takes a bit more time than the others, but you eventually...

Feel your skin begin to glow as the wind licks your face. And you feel that same grace. And you step out. Thanks. I'll back out. I'll step in and looking down, look down at my flail and down at my shield. And I'll just look up and gaze into the light. And I will say, I'll do what Ma and Pa always taught me.

Kill them with kindness. I will show people the kind warmth of Moradin's Forge. And I will free people from their oppressors. Everyone deserves a second chance. Almost immediately, you feel that grace. And you glow. And the door doesn't move. And then Elkyra looks at all of you. I step out. And she steps forward.

The light barely consuming her whole form as she kneels down. She hesitates and she begins to glow a lighter blue than her deep skin. And she looks up and says, "By helping my daughter."

She glows, and as soon as that happens, all the light that emanates around all of you burst out and fill the room as the letters in both orange and celestial glow as the door begins to open. And you see a long hallway, hundreds of feet long.

As you step in, once again bathed in the blue and golden light as the air whips around and you step in and you see chambers all around going up to the ceiling. They're large and you see in all of these chambers are humanoid shapes. They seem to be people staying completely still.

They have dark obsidian skin, pure white hair, muscular, almost statuesque, and all androgynous. It's hard to tell if there's any male or female shapes at all. And you see rows and rows and rows and rows and rows. Hundreds of these creatures all surround you as the entire chamber fills with light.

and they make no motion, but you feel like you've come to the right place. And you're all level eight. - Nine? - Nine. - Nine. - Nine. - Nine. - And you're all level three. - Yay! Level up, you guys! - You all are standing in a great hall of what you assume to be the Vaati.

rows and rows and rows of these statuesque humanoids, at least they look humanoid, in a stasis of some kind, seemingly waiting for the return of the Wind Dukes. The light is bathing, and you see that there's also the same kind of chimes that refract the light in a beautiful way as you all step through this threshold. And... Lufty...

You suddenly feel a pull in your soul. Something seems to guide you as you step in and cross the threshold. You feel as if you need to continue, and you feel like you have a sense of how to defeat the Elder Tempest. I...

I feel very strange. Sorry. A lot of pizza. I got the old pizza car. Pizza phlegm. I feel so strange stepping in here. I feel something pulling at me. And I feel, like, really smart all of a sudden. Do you want my iris? No, I heard it, but she's a liar, so... I'm not. I know it sounds...

I'm gonna close my eyes and just...

think really hard for a minute and just feel where it's pulling me. You channel that new feeling in your being, in your fiber, and you're drawn forward. You begin to walk almost as if you're being pulled. You feel yourself moving your own legs, but it's almost as if there's something calling you. You...

You lead your party down this massive hallway and you just see the closed eyes, sleeping figures of these large statuesque humanoids waiting for the day that they'll return to their city. And you arrive at another chamber, large and circular, similar to the antechamber that you had entered.

and you see that there are a number of doors and you see that inscribed in each one, above each one, is a picture. The figure of a creature. And you see that one of the doors

is calling to you. You step forward and you see that the creature above is this large feathered serpent slithering above the doorway. You feel drawn to it. And you step forward and as soon as you cross, step onto a large square stone in front of the door. The glowing stone

color around you. The floor glows in the same color and you hear this sliding of stone, the rumbling once again sending the chimes into a beautiful song along with the whipping wind. And you feel like you need to step through this threshold.

It's this one. I can feel it. And I will... it's open? Yep. I'll step through. Okay. Is there light beyond it? It seems to be filled with the same glow. This one is a bit darker than everything else that you experienced. I scoot up behind her, just protecting the light.

You do that. And as you step in, you... the wind whips around and you look up and you see the form of the great feathered serpent wrapping all around with markings of orange and celestial. And you see that there are... that there is...

a story to be told. And it tells of the cycle of the Elder Tempest, where the conflicts of... the conflicts within the elemental planes, the constant war, the elemental plane of air bordering the plane of fire and the plane of earth,

or plane of water, pardon me, as well as the portals that are opened up from the plane of Earth. All of the planes within this greater elemental plane constantly roar, whips up storms. And when conflict is more brutal, the darker the storm. And over millennia of battle, it can whip it all together until it coalesces.

and forms into a creature called the Elder Tempest, the prime elder elemental, the counterpart to the Leviathan and the Phoenix. And once it is whipped up, it is a being of pure destruction. No good, no evil, just storm.

But destruction is in the nature of the Elder Elemental. It will rage across the plane of air until it is either slain or it rages for so long and destroys so much it eventually loses its steam, but after tremendous loss of life. It mentions...

that the last time an Elder Tempest had made its way through to the Material Plane, it destroyed numerous coastal cities, civilizations in the mountains.

horrific death and destruction in times long past. But that there were weapons forged by the Djinn to battle these creatures. These are the Windseeker Blades.

And it's from a metallurgy and a blacksmithing practice that is long forgotten, borrowed from the work of the Freeti, but using the power of air to forge these blades that can

make a tempest vulnerable to a proper assault. But these blades were scattered and since lost, and woe to those that must face an Elder Tempest without one. That's the Jailor's List. What do you think? You can read this? I think you did it. I think you got us what we needed. Well...

got us farther along, but what we need is those blades. That's okay, this is a great start. I'm sorry, I guess not all of you can read it, but there are blades. This has happened before and it will happen again. Does it say where to get these blades? It says that they are lost, they are scattered. They were made by Zeofreji.

I want to look down at the carefully crafted flail that my Forgeclared father made, and I want to think back on this metallurgy that he's talking about and see if I recognize this former blacksmith saying the magic that's being imbued in these blades. I assume, like, lost knowledge, but curious if I might have overheard my father ever talking about them or passing that on to him. I would say make an arcana check if there's a manage.

A 19 and a 13, not bad. A 14. 14. You are familiar with a free team. I would say that you would know that they are renowned blacksmiths and crafters of weapons. Beyond that, nothing else. Do I know where Ifriti reside? Elemental plane of fire. Fire, okay. Okay.

Alkia, do you know about these? I... did... did not. I've heard tales of great weapons, of genies have always been creating great weapons for as long as our species has existed. But I did not know about these tempest-slaying swords. But...

This is true. We just need one. Well, I guess that's true, but I don't understand how you could have something so powerful and just lose it like that. To keep it away from evil, maybe. That's true. There's a lot of death. If a djinn wielded one and

was slain in the air. Who knows how far it fell? Where it fell to? We don't have time to look unless it's in the city. I do not think they would have written this if it was in the city. I think you're right. Oh, Kira, I hate to ask this, because I know there's ongoing war, you mentioned it, between the planes, but...

Let's say hypothetically, if we meet a Nefreeti that would be capable of passing on the knowledge of crafting one of these blades, could someone like me learn that from them? If we visited the elemental plane of fire, would that be too dangerous? I think that would be far too dangerous. You don't have any Nefreeti friends? Vile creatures. I have slain many.

Would there be a place they would store this kind of knowledge, or is that only kept among their ranks and passed down that way? I do not know. They are very protective of their secrets. Whatever Ginny stole that knowledge, I bet many died to gain it. But if there is a place where one of these may be, I may know of...

One possible option. I hate to suggest it. Do it. We need it. There is a great collector. A cloud giant. Nimbansi. How do you spell that? N-I-M-B-A-N-S-I. Say that again, sorry. N-I-M-B-A-N-S-I.

Nimbonsi. I thought you said named Bonsi. I did too. I was like, oh, Bonsi. And then you said spelling and I was like, wait a minute. Nimbonsi. Silent Y. Yeah. Nimbonsi. Cloud giant? Cloud giant. Cloud giant. So maybe on this plane. Is he in the unbalanced plane of air? He is. He is. Not close, but not as far. I have avoided him. He has a great, great collection. A treasure trove.

And his menagerie of griffins. He's obsessed. With griffins or with the treasure? All of it. If he were to have such a weapon, would we have to trade him for it? We'd have to figure out something. Do you know him? I have met him once. He is a being that cannot be trusted. He is...

trickery incarnate, but he trades. He also is, for those willing to go against him, a gambler. He makes great wagers. But I've heard of those torn apart by his menagerie that have failed. But there is a great, a great wealth of lost treasure in this palace.

How do we get there? I know where it is, but... Do we wish to face him? Do we think we can parley? Oh yeah, of course we can! Or is it better to sneak and steal to kill him? Well, we could try the first, and if that fails, then... We could talk our way out of that. It's not so bad.

We shouldn't kill this giant just because he has a sword that we need. He's not a bad guy, is he? They would be- Cloud giants are all bad. You say that a lot, a lot of people. There are evil traits of so many creatures across these planes. The cloud giants harbor deep insecurity and hatred that in the ordning of their kind, they were but second.

To the Storm Giants. Then who decided that? The Old Father. I haven't met him. Do I... I mean, I recognize that name. Would I know that name? I would make a religion check. I'm not. I would say... That's so bad. Because that's... Oh, I am proficient. Ah, not great. Eleven? Probably not. You... Yeah, I would say...

Probably not. No tie to Moradin? No. Okay. This is a different Allfather, it sounds like. Or I just don't know. You're not sure. Okay. The God of the Giants. I don't know. What do you think?

Should we sneak, or should we... No, we should ask him for it. Tell him that we can stop a great evil if he lets us use the sword, and we can return it. We could totally return it. I mean, I don't think that should stay in our hands. I just don't think that he's going to want to do that, and we don't really have anything of value to trade. I agree with you. We don't need to kill him or steal from him, but I'm just worried that we don't have anything as valuable as that sword might be. Maybe we have some magic items we could give him? Maybe.

I think we just need to make our case. We should definitely talk to him. I agree. You said he was a gambler, right? Yes. Well, we don't have to have anything to trade. It wouldn't just be a straight bartering operation. We could make some sort of pitch to gamble something for the blade. To test our metal or entertain him somehow or something along those lines. I have awful luck. What were you thinking? I haven't got that far.

Do you have cards or something? Yeah, I got those mega cards right here. And you can cheat? I probably would be capable of some form of deception. Well then we're fine. Let's go! We'll try to persuade him and if he can't see reasons then we'll just, you know, steal the pants right off of him. You said he resided in this plane, in the plane of air? Yes. He's far away. Does that still mean that time is stopped? No.

When we leave the Vale, we will be on the clock. So whatever we do, we have to go in and do it quickly and then get out? Get back to the Prime Material plane? Take care of business? Have you rested enough in case we need to... Yes. I will be ready when the time comes. And the tomb, it has not yet been destroyed. You mean the machine in Galerion? Yes.

Good point. Good. Then we should go? Please. Can you take us there? I can. We'll make haste. Let's go right now. We will. Wait, should we look at anything else while we're here? One of the other rooms? I don't think that that will help us on our quest here.

Well, I at least want to see which other creatures are on the thing because I'm curious. You're more than welcome to. Yeah, I'm gonna walk back out. I just want to see what else is on the doors. You look up and you see one of the doors. A large two-headed vulture monstrosity. You see a wispy humanoid silhouette.

You see a bird creature that is very elongated with two pairs of wings like an X-wing, with also two pairs of eyes on either side of its beak. It's a symmetrical creature. You also see a picture that looks familiar. It looks to be the image of a gem.

And, um, you see a picture of what looks like a griffin. What looks like a large but thin humanoid creature with a large morning star weapon. Wispy hair, cloud beneath the feet, tattoos all over, wearing a mask.

And that appears to be Cloud Giant. Are you sure we can just go in a couple of these? Some of them look very useful. Are you similarly compelled to walk through any of these doors? What do you see?

I am, yes. Well, I'm following you. Why don't we take a look at one, and if it's just more of these statue people thing, then we should just go. I was always told that curiosity killed the tabaxi, so I would refrain from entering any other rooms, I think. Okay.

I just have so many questions and I'm afraid if I leave here... Alex, go for fuck's sake. And I drag her into the next room. Or next door. I'll stay with Iris. Holy fuck. Oh, you said in our spare time we should... And then I start massaging Iris' back again. Should I go with them?

If you want, unless you want to massage Iris' back, just know who's doing it. I'll be back. And I'm going to literally walk away as he continues this. I'm going to hustle up to the ladies and say, are you sure you want to pick this one? We're going to see a cloud giant. Why wouldn't I pick this one?

Okay, um... Stop being so nervous! It's just a door. Yeah, I'm trusting you, Lottie, okay? Just stay close to me so I can protect you guys in case anything happens. You... Sure. Step forward, and as soon as you get to directly in front of the door... Nothing happens. The... You stomp my feet a little. You stomp your feet. Stop. Alvin! It doesn't... No? It doesn't glow. And you realize, you look around to you and all your friends...

And the glow that had bathed you has now just dissipated. Oh. Maybe we used our key. I should have gone in the other one first. Oh, no, I guess not. I'm just... Oh. Do we go bathe in sunlight again and come back? I don't think it's going to work. I just... I've never been this high up. I've never been here. I feel like I belong here and I'm going to leave and never come back. Try knocking. All right.

You walk up and you... Your knuckles wrap on the stone door. And it is Imo. But it's this beautiful, polished white marble. And no sound is made. No response. Stupid. I'm sorry. I know that this isn't going the way that you wanted, but all I can say is that when I figure this out, we can come back. I promise you. I'm gonna figure this out.

And I can bring you back here. If you are lying to me, or you don't fulfill your promise, you are going to owe me. I'm going to figure it out. I think it has been struck. I promise. Yeah, I'm going to figure this out. I know that I can do it. I know it. I know it. Okay, let's go. Remember, we're coming back here. Because we've got to leave the door back in.

Marcus, you're right. I do get to come back. Right? But that won't be the last time either. I promise you. Let's go. What did you guys think about these things as we're walking out? They seem frozen in time. Are they real people? I can't tell. Are they real people or are they statues? They're people. They're people. They look statuesque. Very muscular. But they're very... You can see the rising and falling of breath.

they all seem to be in a stasis, but they are very much living, breathing creatures. Do you think they can hear us or see us?

I walk up to one of them and just like wave my hand in front of it without touching it and see if like it walks by. You wave your head in front of the chamber that seems to be. Of course it's a chamber. It's a chamber which seems to be closed off with glass. I thought they were like. You can see them through the glass chambers. Got it. You wave and you just see just the still figure. That dark almost like shimmering

ebony skin and bright white hair, but totally unmoving in the stasis. Do we know what these are? You could presume that those are likely the Vaati. Oh, that's right, that's right, that's right. Oh, shit. So you know what they're called? We don't know anything about them. Correct. They are awaiting the return of the Windukes. So they're in a stasis until they come back, and the Windukes being all the ones that are trapped right now. Like, they're on stasis.

That's what we can pursue. Okay. We should, if you guys are back. Yeah. You'll definitely be back. We should go. Yes, and I'll hear a turn zero. My child, if we survive this, this will be where our rescued essences will come. I feel it. Okay. We will be back.

Okay. I believe you. And you all make your way to the entrance. And you see the clouds just swirl up and engulf the legs of Alkira as she flies up a little bit. Do you wish to say goodbye to your friends? I do. Yeah. I will be flying overhead. Take your time. We have eternity here.

She flies up. I really hope she's right about that, because if she's, I mean, not lying, but if she's incorrect and time has just been progressing, we've been wasting a lot of this time while the storm tempest has just killed us. It's probably not. It's probably fine. I think it's okay. We didn't have a choice. I think we can trust her. I really pictured her, like, big and she's pretty big, but mean and just evil and nasty, and she's very sweet, actually. I don't know.

I hop back off Peyton and await anyone else that wants to join me, and then I ride back. You all ride back. I wait with Alkyra. You all, you fly up to Alkyra, and she just gives you a nod as you ride back to camp. You see Zorbek. He is, he has a flower that he plucked from the garden, and he's looking sadly and he's throwing petals.

and Heart is walking around and setting up a perimeter. I'll walk up to...

Is he sitting or standing? He's sitting at the edge of the lake. Okay. And he's just... He's dangling his long, long bugbear feet into the water. I'll, like, take off my plate boots and I'll plop down next to him and just kind of, like, solemnly watch him plucking his flower. I'll put a hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. He...

I'm really sorry about earlier. I mean, no hard feelings. I'm sorry if I offended you. I mean, I'm sure I offended you. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings.

I'm sorry Iris put you up to this. Shaved your chest. Like I said, just, you know, take one pill of those every 12 hours. It's what my pod did to grow out his beard. It'll all grow back soon. He looks at you with his nearly feline-like eyes and he looks back and he says, At least Zorbek tried.

That's fine.

Being in a relationship I've never been in one before, you know. I had a very, uh, sheltered upbringing. That's okay. Zorbek wasn't ready to settle down anyway. He throws another petal. I hope you survive. Oh, I hope so too. And if I do, I'll be back.

And we'll go home. Once we've purged this land of its evil Aarakocra. And you can tell people of the great things you did. And your people don't have to have this bad stigma against them. You know? Except... At least stigma against Zormak. Right. Okay. And he, like, reaches over awkwardly.

Pats you on the back. I give him, I give him like a side hug. I'm just like...

You big, big, big... He's still wearing the hippo headdress, nothing else. He just has the headdress on. He's taking everything else off. Do you wanna... Are you... I should probably return this to Iris. I, like, go for it, see if he's okay with it. Do you wanna keep it? Who can keep it? I don't need it. Okay, you keep it. See if he, like, grabs, like, little ears and, like, angles, though. Oh, you're so cute! I give, like, the nose part of it, I guess, a pinch, like, above his forehead.

He like smiles and is actually genuine. The sadness kind of leaves a face. And he just nods and says, be safe, please. I mean, if you want to. It's not a big deal if you don't. Yeah, you know, I haven't practiced unsafe sex or sex at all, so I'll be very safe. Oh. Oh, is that not what you meant? Bye! And he kind of scoots over. Oh, Jordan's good.

So long, Zorbik! He looks. He says, "I hope... Toa, I hope you're safe."

Felix, I hope you're safe. Iris, be safe. Lifty, be safe. You and I need to have a conversation. Goodbye, Caprice. Hey, man, you know, I'd say it probably cost about 40 gold pieces to get from the left eyebrow to the right eyebrow, and your chest looks like a gibbon monkey, but you're all right. So long, man. It could have been worse. He could have called you an ocelot.

Oh, I don't even know what that is. And he lets you approach for the conversation. You can keep the helmet if you like. It's the least of, the least valuable of all the jewelry I had on me. Oh, well. It's slightly rusty. That's fine. Because my younger brothers, when he was a small child...

That's better than Zorbek normally gets. So how do you feel now? Having poured your heart out to a woman? Not good. Yes, it sucked, didn't it? Yeah. Don't get into a relationship. That's my idea of things. So, now. Now that you've been spurned, you know what it feels like. I guess I'll be a bachelor. Yes, you will. And when all of this is said and done, you'll come visit me in Sikhet. And I know that you like them...

thick and juicy, as it were. Just like that helmet on your head, we have harems. Hippo women. That will be right up your alley. They won't judge you for being a bugbear, and they're not going to look for... And I'm going to look over at Caprice. The beautiful skinny tieflings.

They'll like you just as you are. Oh, that would be nice. Yes. I'm just happy to have a meal regularly. Well, I can guarantee I'll feed you, but you can at least come and enjoy the splendors of Sked. That sounds nice. If you survive and if I survive. Well, chances are neither one of us will, but dreams to hold Sonia. Yeah.

Good dreams. Keep the hippo helmet. Think of thick thighs. They save lives as well. Thank you for that and for sparing my life. I would never let you die if it can be avoided. For friends. I'm going to reach up and I'm going to put my hand on his face. We will always be friends, Zoback.

You can always call on me if you need it. And personally, I'm going to slap his jiggling belly. I like it a little bit shaved. It gives you a change about yourself. I don't know what she was complaining about. Not my style, but...

It's good all the same. Sorry I nicked your nip. I'm going to turn around and walk away. You look like the bloodstained linen. As soon as you come, ow! Toughen up, Zorbik. He'll get there eventually.

And Heart's kind of making her business. She's just walking around, swinging her sword around, trying to get into full guard mode. She still has the full Bastet headdress on. Oh, Heart. I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

You really mean it? Yeah, this is goodbye forever, probably. Are you crying? Are you crying over somebody else? No, I just got air in both of my eyes. I'm so worried for you. But I am going to miss you so much. But you do a good job here, I can tell. I have to go now. Goodbye. Goodbye.

And I'll wink at Zorbak and I'm going to just jet off into the air. We're not going to die. There's no reason to be a Bastet case. Everything's going to be alright. What the fuck, Derek? If I can give you a story. Well, if anyone can survive this, it's you guys. We're not going to die. Thanks for your faith. You're going to do a great job here.

Thanks. I'm gonna make sure he doesn't fuck anything up.

Did she have a sword and a shield? Yeah. Or was it... Okay. Did the door of the temple that we exited close when we left? Or are they going to be able to walk in and look at a bunch of... Yeah. Oh. Just probably going to fuck everything up. Shit. Rats. I was just trying to hear it tonight. You... You...

You remembered as you left that the door seemed to close behind you. It was a good question. I want to take out my smithing tools and get a pair of pliers. I'm laying...

Dakota out of my lap. And for the first time visibly to the party, there are these little charms that are hanging off of the flail. One of them looks like a baguette. Another one looks like an anvil. There's another one that looks like a muskox. There's two more. And I'm prying off the one that's a shield. You easily get it.

And I hoist Dakota over my shoulder and I walk over to Hart. And I open her palm and I place the charm, the shield charm in her hand. What is this? These are charms that were forged by my ma, actually, back home. Every five years for my birthday, she makes me a new one. I've got four more here.

This one is special to me. And I want you to have it. Oh, thank you. We're both... We're both Shieldmasters, and you've been strong of heart. And I know I have great faith in you, Hearth, that you'll take care of Zorvac, you're gonna take care of this place, and you'll guard it against all evils. I'll do my best, thank you. She takes it. This is a promise that I'll be back.

Thank you. I'll do my best. And I just like ruffle her head. She won't. Shiver isn't like her first anthem. Well, I guess this is goodbye. Until next time. We'll see you again. We'll see you soon. I'll miss you guys. I'll miss you too. I'll never forget about you.

And she looks at you, Iris, as you're getting ready to leave. He says, I don't think I'm ever going to get as tall as you. Sit here with me. On this stone step thing. Oh, okay. Just going to wait until everyone left. They like to eavesdrop, but they'll stay. You. Yes. You're small. Scrawny. Oh. You look weak. I shall not. In any way. You know what it's like to be a tabaxi?

You get strange looks. People don't fully understand you. Especially not where I come from. No, especially not. I'd like you to think about it. Think about what it must be like for Zorbeck. He doesn't fit in anywhere. Even where he's supposed to reside. So, you will rule this place for now and guard over it. But I'm counting on you to help him to learn how to be the man he can be.

With your heart and your inner strength, you can help him discover who he's supposed to rise to. There's potential there. And I'm trusting you for that. Can you do that for me, Howard? Her eyes get wide. It's like, oh, I could teach him to be a knight. You could. You understand a small fraction of what he goes through on a day-to-day basis. You can help him. And then all of us will go to the council. Enjoy what it's like to be around Tabaxi if.

Well, you can relax. You'll still be the smallest of all of them, of course. I've accepted them. Not sure what kind of tobacco you are, actually.

I'm orange. Yes, I know. I've seen many orange tabaxi, but they're so much larger than you. It starts to feel like it's raining. Do you know, you guys, from above? But you know, you're also, you're so young. I can see you standing with the best of them. Well, I guess I have all the time in the world to train. I'm going to try to get better here. Now I'm going to pinch your cheek and practice that roar. It's not quite where it needs to be.

No, no, no, no, darling. Show me again when I see you again. Okay, yeah. I'm going to lean down and I'm going to embrace her. She hugs you back. Thank you, Iris. I love you, darling. I love you too. I'll see you soon. See you soon. Now I have to fly. Wish me luck.

It's not so bad. No, it is. I'm going to start spinning through the air. That's what I'm going to do. I miss that. What is this stupid pop tart cat? Oh,

Perfect. With that. Fucking heart. I love hearts. I love hearts so much. You're gonna be okay, Kelsey.

I swear if anything happens to that cat, I will die. No, we're going to come back in three years and she'll have been practicing her roar. She'll be like, she's going to go, get her vagina. And that's what happens as you all fly away, wisely leaving the

The easily killable NPCs. We did something right! Yay! Leaving Zorbak at heart, they look up and they all wave at you as you meet up with Alkira. She just nods at all of you and the cloud begins to spin and she takes off into the sky and flies upwards.

as you follow, getting the hang of this, maybe not that Iris doesn't get the hang of it, but you're able to keep up as you... It seems like it's a beautiful day and it's that same perfect weather, that same perfect temperature, that same nearly dusk state of the sun. And then you keep flying and flying and suddenly out of nowhere you are enveloped in mist.

As the cold dampness coats your skin and you fly, it's incredibly thick as you leave the protective shrouding of this Vale. The beautiful gardens and towering silver steeples behind you. As the mist gets lighter and lighter and lighter until you arrive

On the other side. Ah, shit, I forgot my copy of Knife Monopoly. Oh, dear God. Well, Zolbeck's going to be dead when we come back. Why's this? Ow! Ow! Ow! I get to pass knife go. All according to plan, right? So, you fly through

And you are once again, that blazing sun greets you. And you see sky in every direction. And as you fly away, you look behind and where there should be this huge valley. There is just a massive shroud of mist as you fly away. And Alkira turns and says, now time to

He's passing. Not a moment has gone by since we first entered. But now, every minute we spend is a minute where the Elder Tempest is heading towards the people you, we, want to save. Cousin, let's go. Let's not waste a moment. We should hurry as quickly as we can.

Keep up. And she rockets forward. The nimbus cloud that is swirling around her legs is trailing behind her. And you fly through the elemental plane of air. The Dragon Ball Z theme song starts playing. Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Could I have Peyton with me that time since I summoned her yesterday, or would she not be a part of this? She doesn't have fly cast on her, I guess. Okay. So I dismiss her. Yeah, she's dismissed as you fly through the elemental plane of air. And you see, once again, the strange...

the strange topography of this plane where it seems as if there are huge stretches of clouds that are so entrenched with magic that there are structures, cities built on top of nothing but clouds. You see buildings rising up on every single direction, sideways, upways, down. And there seems to be, it seems whichever way you turn, the gravity seems to shift with you.

It's all based on your perception of how you choose to fly.

And... You... That was good. I was like, oh, God. Is this what they call vertigo? Exactly. That would be a nightmare. I can't even really... I can't wrap my brain around that, really. It's otherworldly. And it feels incredibly bizarre as you fly further and further. Yeah.

You travel for about two and a half hours and you know that that's two and a half hours passed on the material plane. This is so bad. They're all dead. Yeah, they're fucked. There's nothing we can do.

And I will say that you know it took you five days just to walk. So it is a great distance. He's like flying across the sky with right next to you. That's true. It definitely helps. But there is a little bit of distance, but it definitely, he's closing in on that. He probably had hours at this point until...

until Commodus arrives. Commodus Norrington? Finally, in the distance, you see a patch of cloud off in the distance, and Alkyra looks at it, her eyes narrow, and she draws her scimitar as she stops for a moment. Perhaps it is better that you go without me. He will not be happy to see me.

Why? What did you do to him? She gets a sly smirk. Let's just say your mother is a great gambler. Oh! Let's do as she says. Okay. And we just go there? There.

You see the Palace of the Clouds, and you very faintly see the outline of a glorious palace built onto this incredibly fluffy cloud. And you see these rounded peaks of towers and turrets and chambers, and you see specks of creatures flying around, all around, almost swarming it. As Alcyra says...

Those would be his griffins. I hope you do not all get torn apart. I will follow, but I will stay out of sight. Just know, I am behind you. And she tucks herself. Oh, fuck. And immediately goes invisible. Oh, fuck. Is that what that looked like? Crazy. Oh, fuck. I was going to ask her what she lost. Oh.

Amy, I'm gambling. Then we can ask her afterwards. I'm still here. Can I do that? Teach me. I don't know, can you? I don't think so. But maybe I will learn. I'm not exactly sure where she is. Akira, what did he lose? We don't have time right now. I just want to know in case we have to use it as leverage. Okay. He lost some of his...

Best of luck. Oh, okay.

We've got some pretty good wine. He was very upset. Do not mention me if you can avoid it. We'll avoid it. We're actually there. But I'll be here. Okay, let's go. And you fly off. You feel the... You feel the size of Alkyra flying alongside of you. You feel the wind disrupt the air, disrupt it. As the wind begins... The air has been getting warmer as you've been traveling further into the plane, away from the plane of water. As you... As the...

You see this grand palace emerge. You see there is a large central building with these great towers with bulbed tops, all of this beautiful white and blue stone and metal. And you see there are great gardens with vines wrapping all around, the tops of what look like vegetables or fruits, but just absolutely massive.

and you see a great aviary and roost and as you get closer you now see the shape and it looks like a rainbow.

You see reds and blues and pinks and greens of griffins of every single color you can imagine. Holy moly. That's cool. As they all soar around and fly around and you approach. That's like a winged lion, right? A griffin is a creature that the front half is of an eagle and the back half is of a lion. Okay, got it.

But they have four paws, right? Yes. Well, they have two eagle claws in the front. Two eagle talons in the front. Two lion paws. But they, like, walk on their... Yeah. They can walk with their eagle talons, yeah. Got it. I show you. Sorry. And you begin to approach. And you... As you approach, you start to see the griffins that are all swarming around, flying, begin to notice you.

And they start to soar in your direction. Let's not be hostile. No, no, yeah. Be very nice. You think they can talk? I don't know. I've never met one before. Neither have I. Would you just assume because it's a pot animal that it doesn't know how to talk? No. It's talking to a... Thank you. That was my point. That's why I'm asking. Oh, I don't know. I've never seen one before. I'm sure we'll find out when I have my hands up as I'm soaring closer. Yeah, but make sure your weapons are away.

Let's do a group animal handling check. Ooh, a group animal handling check. That's the rarest of air. After you, my dear. Ooh!

I don't know if they were. Did you roll a natural one? You sucked up all the good juju out of the warm one. 21. 21. 18. 21.

Animal handling, 21. 21. Lufty. Three. Let's twist it. Okay, I'm going to. We got it. Yeah, thank you. I got a four. So seven. I got a seven. All right, I got a seven. No, six. Six. I got a six. That only lowers the average a little bit. We're good.

So you see... Hi, it's nice to meet you. How are you? Can you understand? You see as in this great menagerie of what would assume to be like, they look like parrots almost, but vicious, bloodthirsty griffins fly in your direction. They seem to all ignore you and as they get the scent of...

genie blood. They all start to swarm around Lufty and they eye you with their piercing eagle eyes and they linger for just a minute before they glance over all of you and you're able to kind of raise your hands and they then fly out

and begin to flank you and surround you and follow you as you head towards the palace. And you see one of the griffins, in the lead of Purple Griffin, fly off towards the grand entrance. And you see, as you approach, a massive door. A massive door that is probably 40 feet tall.

that is closed. As you see that in the top of this palace, there are large porticos with large roosts on either side. And you see that the griffins are flying in and out of this palace. As you...

Approach, you see these... this great number of structures on these palace grounds. You see the great aviary, where the griffins are able to fly freely. You see what looks to be a library, a great chamber that seems to almost be... it looks militaristic, it looks potentially like an armory. And you see all surrounding gardens.

massive gardens of the largest vegetables and fruits that you've ever seen. Carrots bigger than Toa.

growing. So they're here. They have big googly eyes on the front. An onion and a cauliflower. You see a bear and a bird rolling into it and it destroys it. There is some large beets. As you begin to fly in,

You hear the loud rattling of chains, the creaking of wood as the door begins to open as you arrive. And the griffins all kind of give you a look and they point forward to the door. They all fan out and land on the ground. Have I ever seen a griffin before?

You've probably seen one, Griffin. Or know anything about them in terms of the animal handling side of things.

You know that they're monsters, they're monstrosities. You know that they probably are in the canyons and the mountains flying around. They're relatively rare. You need to keep an eye on your livestock to make sure they don't get... that they swoop and take care of them. They're just basically predators to your livestock, I would say. Do I know if they're intelligent enough to speak? They're not. They don't have common... Okay, go. I will land on the landing pad.

You see that there's actually a large circular pad that seems to be this beautiful, smooth stone with massive steps that go up to the huge door that is now open before you. And you actually see that on either side of the steps, however, which would be massive for you to, you'd have to climb up. You see that there's ramps on either side that you'd be able to walk up.

Hey guys, who's doing the talking? Watch this. And I'm going to just run up the stairs like really, really fast. Yeah! What the hell was that? Look what I can do! That's cool. She gets on like a ball of wind and rides it. What do your arms do when you're running up? There's only one option. There's only one option. No! Naruto! Naruto run. I'm not doing it.

She decided to dab instead. You see Lufty sprint up. I'm really more of a spider monk is what I'm going for. Yes, you do that. And the rest of you either enjoy the ramps or you kind of fly up, hop off. I will walk up the ramp feeling that would be the most respectful way. I'm just going to fall off. I don't see the ramp, so I'm just struggling. You can fly, you know. Just like...

And then I just like clamber up the stairs. You do that. I bounce, yeah. And you see a large, through these massive doors, a large hallway.

That leads towards a beautiful chamber that's glittering in golds and gems and jewels of every color. It looks, and the light catching is refracting of, it looks like a prism is just blasting, bathing the light. And you see the griffins flying around.

just as multicolored as the lights that are bathing this chamber. And as you make your way through, you hear the screeches of the griffin, the low, roaring screeches, as there are perches built into every single...

Every single facet of this stone palace seems to have places for griffins. It seems as if there was a crazy cat person, but for griffins, this would be the kind of palace that they would have. You continue to make your way through, and finally you see bathed in the light...

a shape sitting on a huge, looks like a throne, built of this massive white and gray marble. You see elegantly robed in purple a light blue skin, completely bald head. You see at the side of this throne

a massive weapon that is, it seems to be a bludgeoning weapon that is a ball with wispy metal spikes that looks like it could probably flatten you, pulverize you in one hit. As you approach, you see that, you see it's robed in purple, but then you don't see a face. It's masked.

A mask that is half black and half white, half grinning and half snarling. Which side is the white side? Smiling or smiling? White side is smiling. As you see that this cloud giant, and it is a massive creature about 20 feet tall. Oh, shit. Sitting in its throne is resting its head.

cheek on its fist as he is tapping his fingers lazily on one side of his throne. And as you enter the chamber, you hear a voice, booming voice, call out, Well, y'all thought y'all must have known I was feeling bored. I don't see an Aarakocra. Were you expecting one? Y'all are a human being.

What are you all doing here? I would not expect this! Uh, no, we're just sort of showing up spontaneously. Yeah, this is our first time in the plane of air. We don't mean to intrude. It's beautiful. We're here to chat and we're sort of in a rush, so we thought we'd say hello. Hi. Oh, you're lucky I am bored, because otherwise my griffins would have torn you all apart. But...

I am very interested by this. I normally only get invisible stalkers, air elementals, Aarakocra. You, you girl, come forward. Okay. He has extended his massive finger at you as he looms down. And you see the voice blooming out and the head is moving, but the mask is remaining motionless. Hello, I am Lufti.

Are you, uh, new Bouncy? I am. Have you heard of me? Of course we've heard of you. The great cloud giant up here in your castle. I could smell you all coming a mile away. Oh, I'm sorry. I hope it was not terrible for you. I know the smell of humanoid folk, but I smell the genie blood in you as well. Oh, you do? Are you trying to...

sneak and steal from me? No, no, absolutely not. If we were, we wouldn't have walked in the front door and introduced ourselves. That's true. And your griffins would have eaten us right up. Yeah. They are pretty, aren't they? Beautiful. Oh, I love the purple one they came by. It swooped out like gas. It's gorgeous. Gorgeous griffins would have been in there. Aye, they are my prized possessions. So, because you are such a motley crew and I have been very bored,

I am also impressed that usually when you look like the adventuring type, they usually try to sneak in and rob me and I get the pleasure of killing them, but you are forthcoming. I respect that. Thank you. Tell me, what do you want from me? You always want something. I'll walk up and I'll kneel down. I will say: Great Nimbansi, King of the Clouds,

Ooh! We have been told that you possess a powerful artifact that could save our home, the plane we came from. Maybe. By your grace, we would greatly appreciate if we could borrow this artifact to defeat the vile evil that threatens to destroy all of our homes, and then quickly return it upon the completion of our quest.

Well said, Toa. I give him bardic inspiration. The head tilts up and the hand comes down as he listens. And then he brings it back to the other side. Oh, a powerful artifact to save the world and the home. That is so trite and cliche. But I do like King of the Clouds.

Flatly will get you everywhere, but I don't care about your home. So what is it you want? No, that was it. That was the whole... Artifact. I have many. I didn't clarify. No, you didn't. The Windseeker blade that you possess...

Oh, great king of the clouds. If you've got it. If you have it, of course. Or know where it is. We just assumed we've heard many tales of your great collection. If anybody would have it, we knew it would be you. Yeah, we heard it was the greatest collection of all lands, and that you would be the first person to check in on them, eh? Okay, now you're laying it on a little thick. I mean, look at her. I don't know if you like thick women or not.

He looks at you, you don't see him look at you, but the mask turns to you as you say that. And it stops. That was a good, okay. Okay. Skinny devil man. You're trying to make a deal.

If a deal is something that is necessary, absolutely. Just as Toa said, we'd be bringing it right back. I don't lend. I don't let people borrow. What are you going to do for me? Well, what needs doing? Look around, Siquan. What do I need? What do I need? You tell me.

You are the ones that come into my home asking for my item I may or may not have. Do you mind if I take a look around? Yes.

I try to look around without moving and see, like, try to get a glance of his collection. This collection is not in this room. It seems to be a large sitting, a throne room, if you will. You see that there's a number of doors to other parts of his palace, but they're all closed. Well, if you don't mind gracing me, Mr. Nimbasi, what is it that you desire most? ...

I desire a lot of things. I don't think you could provide them. Maybe you could. Humorous. We've done some pretty extraordinary things in the last couple of weeks. I... Go. Yes. Piss on the side.

I like awkwardly sidestep to the side. And lean way down. Totally, totally not awkward. Do we have any more of the boo from the monastery? The what? The boos, the good stuff. Oh, let me check my pack. I believe we... Ooh, I think that's a great idea. I have a cask.

I still have one cask of Lampard's Revelry. Where have you been hiding that thing? It's like a small answer. He holds it between his legs all he wants now. Every time he walks, he's like, bam, bam, bam. Between my legs is where I keep it. I'm in like a half bow, like waiting for him to answer. That's good. You keep a hold of that, okay? And I'll give him a wink. Yes. I don't know if that was a wink or just a...

I felt weird on my face. Ez... Ez... Ezra's saying that. He looks and says, I am so bored. Excitement in my life would be great. Well, I think you are in luck. We are a pretty exciting crew. Perhaps some entertainment. Would you trade it for a song? I've got this beautiful instrument right here. He's really a wonder. He's written songs about a couple of them. How about I entertain an idea if you play a song?

Do you prefer a clean song or a dirty song? I recommend the dirty one. Felix just has his head in his hands at this point like we're all gonna die. You are a funny one.

Give me the dirty. Whenever life gets you down, has you wearing a frown, and the gravy train has left you behind. And when you're all out of hope, down at the end of your rope, and there's no one to throw you a line.

Whenever you're so low that you don't know which way to go. Come on, take a walk in my shoes. Never worry about a thing got the world on a string. Cause I've got the cure for all of my, all of your blues. I take a look at my enormous penis and my troubles start a melting away. I take a look at my enormous penis.

Felix is absolutely disgusted, but Andy loved every moment of it.

What did you think of that? I tell you, he's fabulous. Make a performance check advantage. You're all right. We're going to go with a 21. He sits there and listens and taps, and then he starts tapping along with the beat. And then as you finish, he pauses. And once again...

Well done, Skinny Devilman. I bow deeply. To the King of the Clouds. That's Lily. My pleasure. The King of the Clouds thinks that you would make a great court jester. You trade your friend? Oh, we are going to need him.

What? What? We need this thing, right? No, I'm not trading Caprice for it. Just until you bring it back. Anything else you want? No! It's a little hypocritical that you think that, Felix. Don't you want to be my jester? Stop!

You sing a song that strikes me to the core. I feel every single time I wake up in the morning, that is exactly how I feel. You might enjoy it. Yeah, my pleasure. I'd be happy to trade an additional song. My personage, we need to take care of this great mission. It's, you know, nice. But I want to call Chester. And you have made such a great performance.

I mean, I would make a good court judge. Is there anything else you would like? Perhaps we could trade stories? I would like to hear about you. Tell me about yourself. Why do you wear the mask?

Sorry. I'm sorry. Nice job, Bruce. Got him. Brother, brother. Why does everybody ask that question? Nobody gave...

A shit about me until I put down the mask. I give the DM inspiration. Well, it's very unique, of course. If I take that off, would you die? It would be very painful. Oh, for you.

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I never want to cause any pain to you. It's a very impressive mask. It's got a lot going on. I feel like you're trying to tell a story or there's some interesting tale behind that mask. You have a cool mask too. Oh, and I have this cool mask too. And I take out my tribal mask that has all the feathers and the painted mask and I put it on. Oh, and I have this too. And I just like slowly take out my ram helmet and I put it on and

And I just stand there very proudly. I just kind of show it off to him. That is a good mask. This... Well, that's the meeple. I missed it. Sorry. ...is a very personal prize possession. It's how I express my religion. And that is the last I'll speak of it. You have a nice mask, too. You are very... For being a big man, for humanoid, you are very submissive.

Would you be a good housekeeper? Well, I'm just respectful of your position, that's all. This is your home and you've been very hospitable. So of course, I'm being as respectful as I can to a great being such as yourself. Well, I appreciate respect and I do need another housekeeper. Is there anything you'd like to trade physically that we could give you? What do you have?

Well, I know you like your griffins. I could introduce you to my favorite steed, Peyton. She's a muskox, and she could keep you company until we bring your artifact back to you. I... Is a muskox a type of griffin? She can't fly, but with your powers, I'm sure you could bestow that on her. She could roam the skies with your griffin. That sounds...

beneath me. Literally. I am a great musician, I am a great gardener, I am a great lover, I am a great performer. I am the greatest cloud giant in this entire plane. Don't let any of the others tell you any different. I was impressed with Little Devil Man, but my greatness is

Unmatched? And what could you offer me? Well, sounds like your greatness is confined to this plane. We're from the Material plane. Do you want to be the greatest cloud giant on the Material plane as well? With...

Someone like Caprice in stories, someone like me in my nobility, as well as the rest of us. We could spread your name far and wide as the greatest cloud giant that's ever lived. Anywhere. Especially for giving us the tools we need to save the country that we're headed back for. The fact that the entire area would be saved by your grace. All would come before you. Yes, this is true. The name Nimbonsi would be legendary.

King of the clouds. Caprice would sing songs for years. Look at your greatness. May your sweet dreams take advantage. Damn, that's fucking good. Twist. You said persuasion? Should we twist it? Uh, 19. Nope. No, no, no. 17. 17. Wasn't good. I don't know why it might be good. He... He goes stone still.

for a moment. And then the mask turns towards you and leans, it's larger as he leans in. And he tilts his head. Now you are speaking my language, kitty cat. Now, how do you propose we come to an arrangement? You going to teleport my great fortress?

and give me a kingdom to rule? Do you have that power, Kitty? Oh, you would deem yourself weak enough to die amongst mortals? Yeah, of course you would stay here. But everyone would know your name. That you are so powerful, so majestic, so talented.

That only the most daring adventurers would even deem themselves worthy enough to come to you. You would never go to them. You are not weak. You are King of the Clouds. God of the Clouds. And you would be the ones to spread my name! Well, we can only do that if the material plane isn't completely destroyed. So just imagine that song that you heard, but, you know, it is retitled.

to what was the song title of that song? My Enormous Penis? Yeah, so it becomes Nimbanzi's Enormous Penis. And every bar? We sing it all over the land. Every bar?

I'd be happy to write an original for you too. I'm quite inspired to write something great about how tremendous this place is, the beauty of your griffins. They'd be respected more on the prime material plane too for such a simple gesture as to give us the blade that we seek. Can you imagine the thrill of weak mortals bowing down, praising your name? How many cloud giants have you heard of with that kind of a worship?

Another persuading check advantage. Uh, 25. He stops for a moment and you see his huge hand gingerly reach up to stroke his bare chin beneath the mask. Kitty cat is speaking my language. So,

How about this? You all are going to spread the word. The great Nimbansi and my three prized griffins. But you talk a big game. But I want to hear how good of a storyteller are you? Each of you tell me a story. And depending on how I'm feeling, after y'all are done,

That will determine what you get. On the one hand, exactly what you think and what you want. And maybe I'll even sweeten the deal if you're real good. On one hand, the other hand, if I am unimpressed, beacon claw in your innards, y'all in my belly and McGriffin's belly. Is that a fair trade? I think that's the best we're going to do, guys.

I think that's a fair deal. This isn't really my area of expertise. Well, of course, you will give us time to talk amongst ourselves. Of course. I am a great storyteller myself. Perhaps that would be another way I sweeten the deal, if you are impressed. You may discuss. I will hear all of it. But...

You wouldn't dare insult me in my own home regardless. That's true. I think we can all tell a story and hope for the best. I'll give you guys a little whistle and, you know, just make sure that you're as inspired as possible.

I'm a Tiaba storyteller. I don't even have any stories to tell. I'm usually blacked out by the time I start telling stories. You didn't say it needed to be a truthful story, it's just that you needed to tell one. We can all tell stories. The best stories are the ones that ain't truthful. Come, and you haven't even seen me prize, Griffins.

and he whistles, and all of the griffins in the room clear out, and you hear as three griffins that are huge, nearly double the size of the griffins that you had seen, fly in and land. One is bright red and pink, the other is gold and orange, and finally, there's one that's blue and teal, as they are massive.

as they all perch and they have seen these massive perches that none of the other smaller riffons had touched and they all land in their particular spots. How far away from them, from us, are we? They're like all around you. So... Like high up or like... They're probably about like 20 feet up in the air as they land on their perches.

And say hello to Bassoon, Silkis, and Charlie. They are my precious, precious children. Bassoon, Silkis, Silkis, Bassoon, Silkis, S-Y-L-K-I-S, and then Charlie. At least his name's not Chad. I have it written down, Charlie. I didn't have Chad written down.

That's why his name is Jem. Jem, I guess. So let them give you inspiration. And they're looking down at you with these ancient eyes, predatory glances. Don't be threatened or intimidated. They mean mostly well. I'm looking forward to six wonderful stories. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me sneer. Make me cheer.

Prove to me that you will make Nimbansi his name legendary in your world. That would be, that would show those storm giants who is number one. And he sits back and once again returns to his position, almost unmoved, as the mask stares out blankly.

And you can discuss it with your friends. So... We're all great with words, aren't we? Are we? I could tell a story. I have seen you literally talk your way out of captivity. Well, I haven't seen it, but I've heard tales of it. But I'm not good at telling stories. You tell stories all the time. That's what lying is. Joey, you still got that cast between your legs?

I'm sorry, what? Oh, you, you, you, I'm so sorry, what? Oh, get, get, get Luffy really wasted. No, no, not on that.

That's my backup stash. This is good stuff. And besides, I actually might need that for my story. Well, I'll just, it's right here. I'll just keep it. You can just reach underneath it and grab it at any time. Yeah, I'm actually gonna just kind of lift up under his leafy skirts and like tap something and fill up my stein with a little... I'm not 100% sure of what's going on.

Don't worry about it. I hope that's ale. I've got something in my grass skirt for you. I'm turning. Give it a tap. I'm going to squeeze. Jesus. He's been a little silent. Are you going to be all right with this? What do you think? You got nothing? I'm in deep shit. But you don't tell stories. It's like basic humanoid instinct. Why don't you tell about the first time that you got bitches?

He's shaking his head. That means no. No. That is not a good sign. What about the time where we met? You could tell him that story. Remember that crab that came up behind me and I'm like, hey man, how's it going crab? And then he pinched me. It's not as riveting as we both remember it. It seems strange for someone who reads so many books that he has no idea how to tell any stories.

Well, they're all non-fiction. Oh, right. He didn't say they needed to be non-fiction. But they need to be fiction. I don't think anyone wants to hear me recite the times and great wars of Korovaki over the last ten centuries. You might enjoy it. Yes, you are like a great story of battle. Why don't you take one of the wars you've heard of and just...

Make one of them a unicorn or something. Oh no, I'm gonna die here. Oh god. You're gonna be alright. You're gonna be fine. Persia, you're quiet. I think the only way I'm gonna win him over is with an artist's funny story. That's true. Great, so you're all set then. I think I'm okay, yeah. And Lufty, you're going to be alright. I'm working on it, yeah. Tell her.

I can tell stories. I would ask, but there's no point. Well, why don't we go in an order then, and we'll leave Felix first, so that he has longer time to think about what he'd like to do.

Yeah, that sounds fine, I guess. So, Chris, why don't we start with you? Oh, great. So you make the biggest bang, and then as we all get increasingly worse, he forgets how good you were, and each one of us feels like we're mediocre at best. Should we maybe invert that based on your description just now? I don't... Yeah. You know, I really did consider it...

But I don't think that we can have Felix go first. Why don't we offer him a drink to pair with all of our stories? That way he's a little buzzed by the time he gets to him. How are we going to get a gigantic cloud giant buzzed? Do we have enough booze across the six of us? We're probably just going to have to get on the whole goddamn thing tour. They still want that much. That's about the size of one of his normal bouts of ale. Why don't we just...

have Caprice go last because it's always save the beast for last. We don't want to follow Caprice. So then we'll have Felix second to last. Well, Herja, you seem the most prepared. Why don't you go first? Followed by Toa, Lufti, myself, Felix, and Caprice. All right, let's do this. I'm excited about the plan. Let's do the plan. Let's save the world. Let's do the plan. All right. Well, Herja,

Somebody give me a spotlight or something. Minor illusion. Yeah. Thaumaturgy. The wind's blowing your hair back. Fight, fight, fight. I heard ya. You get inspiration. I'm gonna be like supermodel fan with my unending breath. D8. Blowing on you. Yep. Okay. I'm gonna put it right here in front of me. Over the next ten minutes, any roll.

I'm gonna throw up my cloak of elvenkind so I'm hooded. I'm gonna have my back towards him. And I'm very... I guess there's gonna be some sort of minor illusion of light. Dramatic! Charlie would enjoy eating you. Yes. If Charlie was into women like me, I'd enjoy eating him too.

Anyway. I'm profusely sweating at this point. You see him lift his head off of his fist and tilt his head, intrigued, but not sure how to feel. It's okay, that's pretty much everyone around Hirshia. I throw my cape around and I whip around and I lock eyes with him. It was a dark night. All sneaking in to a bank.

Learning more about this evil that has plagued the city. I break in quietly, quietly, so no one can hear my clapping thighs. I slam them together and I roar an echo across the entire city. I use thaumaturgy to amplify the sound. Silent I was when I walked in. Everyone ahead of me. Beatrice chirping on my shoulder. This blue bird blowing in the night.

And I stood by the door as lookout on my Congress. Went inside and looked for what would be a trail. It would uncover everything that was going wrong in the city. And then, like lightning from the clouds, - Thaumaturgy sounds like- - The ceiling erupted with glass. As six, no, 10, 12, 20 clocked figures

Landed on the ground around us. We have infiltrated the bank. Oh no. What the fuck do we do? Quickly, quickly, shove the papers in the back. And I run over and I just like pretend like I'm shoving shit in my bag. I'm a dirty with a ton of papers in the back. We must uncover, but we must expose these people. But do we fight? No, we're outnumbered.

No, we can take them. And then another crash in the corner. Who is it? Oh, no. It's Felix. He has rolled out of the bank. Clevering out the window. Where the fuck are you going?

And I run and I'm like waving my hands in front of Felix. I don't even know what's going on. I'm like sweating and shaking and I look like pale white. I'm shaking him and by the shoulders. Where are you going, you mad lad? Your fucking bird is still on my shoulder. But no, I can't see him. Why? Because everyone's invisible. Oh, they fucking forgot Persia. Persia got left inside

to fend for her fucking self. Oh, don't you know? So I put away my top potato because, you know, I was slacking on the job. And Beatrice and I, oh no, we've got it. They swore me instantly, all of us, crowding around me. But I decided in that moment, friendship was more important than me proving to all of these fuckers that I was stronger than them. That I could take all 20 of these folk by myself. And so with the power of Meridian,

I blinded them all with my shield and my flail. And I... And I somersaulted the fuck out of their tomb. No invisibility needed. My thighs quiet like the night. Don't you know. Don't you know. Quiet like the night. And I tiptoed my way out of there.

And then we ended up in a bar. There was a man that we interrogated. We let him know, hey, wouldn't you suck if you just didn't have a penis anymore? And he believed us. Don't you fucking know he believed us. And we uncovered that sly motherfucker in this whole operation in the bank.

Fuck yeah, we did. We exterminated those fucks and God knows what happened to those 20 people probably thrown in jail. Probably sucking my toes. But that's a tale for another time. Oh. That is so exciting. I love that story. I remember that. I was there. I'm not sure if I feel sorry or glad for whoever goes next. Yeah.

Make a performance check. Underneath of you, this is a dramatization. I ran under you. Performance check. I'm not good at performance. Well, I'm okay. The DC would be. And you have, what are the bonus? I have inspiration. Not bad. Not bad, not bad. Oh, and you were assisted by me. With all of these, could I also put my hand on her and give her guidance? Yeah.

Do I get advantage? I would say advantage because you were being assisted by... Let me put this away. It's a four. I got a 12 here. That was worse. I was your soundboard. So that'll be... Dirty 20. Dirty 20. The dirtiest 20. As he's leaning forward, he leans back and crosses his arms.

Well, I think you need to work on your structure a little bit, but that's Augusto. Okay, okay. And I just like bow. You know what, girl? Okay. I'm amused. I tell jokes that most people don't understand. Just watch out the structure with your friends when you're talking about me.

But I like the enthusiasm. That's all you really need for a story, especially if you get everyone drunk first. Well done. She nods. That was good. Okay. Well, I guess Charlie wouldn't... Sorry, fat Charlie. You're gonna go hungry a little bit.

And he reaches up and scratches the blue into it. Is Charlie a little bit fatter than the others? He's a little chunkier. Charlie the Chonk, they call him. Charlie the Chonk. I need Chonk Griffins in my life. I know! Somebody please start drawing some adorable Chonky Griffins. He reaches up and scritches. He scritches. A little scritchy. Scritchy, scritchy. That was great, Herge. Well done. Yes, that was great. I mean, you stole my story, but that's fine. You were the one who tells that exact story? Probably the penis fart. Oh.

I'm sorry. No, I've already done penises. Well, you know, that's not how I want to say that. I haven't done any. Please tell me you have another story. You're all right, so I'm fine. All right. I'm fine, too. You're shaking, Felix. What? Stop shaking. It's okay. Yeah. It's okay. I'm going to... Shh. I clap on the back.

You got this, Felix! I'm gonna blow cold air in his face to just calm him down. Okay. Alright. Who's up next? Next up is, uh... Toa Kamenui. Toa Kamenui. Good luck, buddy. That's good, because I have to pee before I can go to bed. Mimbanse, allow me to regale you in the story of Maka, the greatest Goliath folk hero ever.

the founder of the Makani Islands, my ancestor, and the goliath whose face is carved into my very totem here. And you see the face. I put my maul down, and the carved face, I show him the painted face. Um... Makar was a great goliath from the cold, frigid, barren mountains, like where most goliaths are from. And one day,

In a frozen sea, he was desperate looking for food and he met a turtle. A turtle named Tonga. And he said, "Hello Tonga, how are you?" Tonga replied and said, "Hello Marka, I've heard of your great stories. Let me show you the world." So he jumped on Tonga's back and Tonga showed him the whole world. He sailed all across the Ventris and he said, "The world is truly a great place, but

my favorite bit of ocean. I would like to live there one day. Tonga said, but Maka, you cannot live in the ocean. And he said, well, yes, we must bring the mountains to the ocean. And so they went back to his homeland and he brought his favorite mountains, put them on the back of Tonga and he sailed them to the middle of the ocean and he placed them into a chain of islands.

And that is how the Makani Islands first came to be. He said, this is a grand land. And he slept. The next day, he woke up and there was a bull. A bull named Raki. And he said, hello, Raki. You look very strong. And Raki said, ah, yes, but so do you. Shall we see who's the strongest? And then Maka said, we shall. And they had a great battle.

Did he say hot and cold? I don't know.

They were both tired and they respected each other and they decided they were both strong. He decided it was a good day so he slept. He woke up the next day and he was traveling the new islands and he decided these are very barren indeed but that was when he met a great white mower named Hekina.

And he said, "Hello, Hekina." And Hekina said, "Hello, Maka. Don't you agree that these islands are very barren?" He says, "Yes, they are." And he says, "Well, allow me to help." Hekina then laid many eggs, and Maka took the eggs and buried them in the ground across all the islands. And from these eggs sprouted coconut trees and all other kinds of vegetation. And through the help of Hekina, these islands became lush and bountiful.

And he said, "Thank you, Hakina, you have brought great life to these islands." And he slept. The next day, he woke up and he went for a swim. And he was swimming around the oceans and the oceans were empty. And he said, "How will I live without being able to fish?" And that's when he met Komohana, a great black shark.

The shark was not as nice as the others. The shark attacked him and they grappled. They each fought for their lives, both bleeding profusely. And then when both were on the brink of death, they said, you were a worthy challenger to each other. And they decided that they were both worthy of living. However, their blood traveled through all the oceans of adventurous, attracting many kinds of fish,

The fish all came and made the water around the Makani Islands the most lush and bountiful waters in the entire world. Finally, he went to sleep. The next day, there was Tonga again right off the coast. And Tonga said, "Maka, you've made beautiful lush forests, islands with mountains. You've brought lush vegetation and fish, but aren't you lonely?" He said, "Yes, I am."

So he jumped on Tonga's back, went back to his homeland, brought his family and friends. They all boarded Tonga and they've sailed back to the Makani Islands and populated the islands. And that is how the Makani Islands came to be. And that is the story of my ancestors. That was amazing. Roll with advantage just because I'm impressed. Jesus Christ.

Guys, we should really do this more often when it's less high stakes, because I really enjoy it. Can I twist? You may. You also have inspiration. Well, one out of five, so inspiration is what, a ten? No, it's a D. A D, eh? I twisted. You told your story so fucking well, dude. Just fucking twist it, man. Fucking do the thing.

Okay, that's really good. So I rolled a 14 plus an 8. Yeah. That's huge. Is a what? A 22 plus, what is it, charisma? Charisma. I think it's a plus one, so 23. Very nice. What kind of rolls are we needing? 20 performance. 20 performance. As you're telling your story, Toa, Nimbansi leans forward more and more as you tell your story. The...

Mask never changes, of course, but he leans in and he puts his elbow on his knee and grips his chin as he leans in closer. And as you finish, he leans back. Well done! You come from a storytelling people!

Oh, dear. I'd love to tell stories. I want to visit the Makani Islands just from that story alone. To see if it is the same as that tale. It's even greater than I described. I would love for you to come visit. Toa. Storyteller. Well done. You aren't doing too bad. Four left.

Lufty darling. Oh, is it me? It is. It is my turn already. Yes, it is. Okay. Hello. Today, I will tell you a fable from my lands of how happiness came to be. So, on the material plane in the land of Avengers, there is a great mountain chain. It is hot mountains, volcanic mountains.

And in those mountains are great tribes of fire giants. Most of them are big auguring things, no offense. But long ago there was a beautiful fire giant woman. She was tall, she was broad across, she had thighs like a tree trunk.

And she worked all day in the hot, hot volcanic. And it was her home. She had respect for that place, but she grew tired. She grew tired of the heat. She grew tired of sweating in the soot. And day after day is the same with all those men leering at her. So one day, she came down the mountain. She took off her hot armor. She dropped her weapons. She stripped completely bare, naked as the day she was born.

And she ran across the lands of Avantris, happy to be free, happy to be naked, to have the heat of the fire and the forge off of her back. And she ran through the fields, she ran over the hills, she ran through the lakes, until finally she came to my land, Kirstein. And when she got there, she was so tired from her running and her running that she fell

fast asleep where she stood and when she fell she landed her great form on a crop of grapes. When she landed all the grapes they smushed, they crushed under her great form, her great weight and the heat from the forge followed her body and cooked them right on the ground. She slept for many weeks there. She did not move a muscle until one day she stood back up and the heat

And the time had changed these grapes into something completely different. And the people of Kerstein had gathered here to see this great, beautiful naked form lying on their land. And when she stood up, her body dripped.

with the new substance of the grapes, something unseen altogether. And everyone, the people of the town, the men, the women, even the children, they stood at her ankles, they stood at her legs, and they lapped up this grape. And they were happy evermore as wine was born. And you are in luck today, and I hold up my stein. I have a bit of this wine. It is Lepoir's wine, and it is from the land of Kirstein.

To show you that this bagel is maybe a little more true than it sounds.

And I'll hand him my stein. Interactive story! Roll an advantage. I wouldn't even have been for inspiration before I was at the table. He reaches out and he takes the stein in his huge fingers. It's like a dribble. It's a shot glass. Just to taste. And you see him turn.

And he pulls up his mask. We only see the side of his face, just more blue skin as a long tongue extends. And he drips the wine.

puts the mask back and hands it back to you. And you'll roll and we'll see what happens. Nice gulp sound. Oh, okay. I got a 19 plus a 1 is 26. 26? Hey! Hey, Wes! Well, I must say more stories

should come with a drink. That is exactly how I feel. Well done, genie girl. Well, thank you. Hoping at least one of you will fall down. At least Caprice is after me. Well, my story then.

Hello. I'm Iris. Iris of the Suns. Oh, shit. Alright. Wasn't this your idea? I whistle the song that I've written for... You see, darling, I... Inspiration. I'm nobility. I have other people write stories for me. Do you have a yoke? Hold on, you. I hand her my yoke. Good goals. Thank you, darling.

Stealing cookies from all of the children.

A monster of cookies as it were, ravaging the land north, south, east and west. The children were sad, the stories of the bird, the large yellow big bird, could not bring their spirits up. But all was not lost. A scientist arrived. Two lovers.

Bertimus and Omanthus. And with them, he found a recipe for cookies that the monster could not eat. They began to make cookies en masse. For all the children, joy had found its way to the Sasame Street. God damn it, mate! This is so bad! This is so bad! This is so bad!

How did you get there? Can you tell us? Can you tell us how to get there? Joy had found its way to the Sasame Street once again, but not all science is good. And the remnants had been tossed into a garbage pail at the edge of the street. And from it arose a new monster. An evil, horrid beast of muck and grime.

He began to terrorize the children, and they knew the only way to resolve the issue was to smite him. They made their way along Sasame Street on a dark and dreary night and opened the rickety wrought iron gate that led to a mansion at the end of a hill. Every step they took...

One, two, three, four, five, six steps all the way up to the edge of the street and there they queried a nighttime Dracula. He was only known by name. One single word. Count. Count.

Count Flew in bat form. Raining numbers all along the land. Large rainbow-colored numbers. One, two, three, four, five. Killing the monster of goodness and the garbage-pail man. And that's the end of the story, actually. That's where it ends. We didn't watch the same session. We gotta whisper. Thank you. Thank you.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Guys, this is weird. That sounded like a really fun D&D campaign. Seriously. You've got a vampire. You've got a garbage monster. Sasami Street. Isn't this Death House?

Now we know. Can we replay for the rest of the episode? Please roll an advantage. Sure. Instant pass. I'm doing performance. You have my inspiration. What is inspiration? A d8. DC is also affected by the story that you're told. 25. Hot dog.

As you're telling the story, he leans in more and more, and he grips the side of his throne. As he leans in, more and more. I must learn more about the Sasame Street. Do you know how to get there? Can you tell me where to get there? The next time I see you, I will tell you the way to Sasame Street. Ah!

That was a tear! It was. And the massive, the resounding echoing and claps echo through the chamber as the griffins kind of ruffle their feathers and they start to look a little bit disappointed. As they ruffle, they're probably going to have empty bellies. However, all of their eyes turn to Felix. What?

They start licking their licks. Their tails switch back, their lion tails switch back and forth and they start licking their chops. I take my hat off and I'm holding it and I turn to the group and I say, "I want to apologize now. I'm sorry." Do you want a backup dancer? What's the matter? You're gonna be fine. You can do this. I haven't been entirely honest.

I'm sorry. And I walk up towards the giant. Felix is playing the fire. I'm sorry. My story isn't a happy one or funny or anything like that. My name is Felix Ackerman. I was born in Kesselfeld.

in Gorovakia. I didn't know my dad. My mom didn't really have anything. She worked hard to take care of us. She really did. And then my younger brother was born when I was a teenager. And really, I wasn't really good for anything. I wasn't good at farm labor or anything, but I could read well. And I knew that there was something better out there for me. And

My mom passed away and really it was just me and my brother. And he was only two. And I did what I could to take care of him. And there was this lovely man. His name was Mr. Mendel. And he let us live in his house for free. And I tried to work the best that I could, but...

It was tough. I eventually got a scholarship, if you will, to the local wizard college, and I joined the military. It was the only way that I could make money for my brother. And... Oh, God. Um...

I worked hard. I did. And I made the Talon Guard. I made the military. It was competitive, but I worked as hard as I possibly could. And I was learning magic and I was doing great things. And then the harder I worked, the more that I learned and then the more it paid off. And finally, I was able to start paying back Mr. Mendel and taking care of my brother and things were looking good.

And about a year into my service, this plague, it started to break out and nobody really knew what was happening, but it was a danger to the people of Corvacchia. So the town guard, we were told to take care of it. We often took care of monsters and things. So on that first night, we went to the town and we set to work and I burnt them all alive.

I killed them all. And then we got the next town. It was infected with Beastplate and I burned them all alive. And it just kept happening. Town after town we thought, "We have to save the people. They can't save themselves." And then we got the next town and it was Gesselfeld. And I killed everyone that I knew. Mr. Mendel recognized me and I burned him alive.

And I know you probably don't care. We're just mortals. But to you, you'll find it ironic that all of it, I found out it was just a lie. The Beast Plague didn't exist. And the only person I ever knew, the only person I ever cared about was my brother and they took him away. And if he's alive, if I ever find him again, he'll never forgive me. So I don't even know what I'm doing.

And like I said, you probably don't care. We're just mortals. To you, you're some giant, but maybe you'll just find it funny that all of those people that I murdered for nothing. And that's all I've got. Make a performance check at Advantage.

I'll walk up to Felix and I'll put my hand on his shoulder. Yeah, I'm right there. I'll walk up. I'll give him Guidance. Twist. Twist that shit. And I have given you Inspiration. Twist? Twist it. Fucking twist it. Grab a thingy out of there. Oh, just the one? It's worse. So, 11. And you have Guidance too, which is a d4.

Should have kept the first roll. That 11 was pretty good. I thought you could choose which one you wanted. Oh, can I? Yeah. I don't have to replace it. An 11 plus 9 is 20 plus what is it? Charisma? I think I have like a plus zero. Performance. Performance, yeah. Oh, I have plus two. So that is a 22. And I'll just put my head back over here. As you tell your story, you see that he had been kind of tilting his head.

And then he leans back and crosses his arms and is stoned still. And as you finish, you see water pool down around his cheek to his chin and drip, drip onto his robe. He leans down. The eternally still mask of half grinning and half snarling stares down at you.

"For your sake, boy, I hope you made that all up." "But that is one hell of a start." And he nods deeply at you as he... Then you see him lean down back again and lift his mat and wipe away tears. Group hug! I'm gonna run over and give everybody a big, big hug. I'm sorry. No, you did great! I'd hate to have to go after you.

You do. Right. Okay. Let's do it. I love the stage. Let's do it. Good luck. And I'm going to smack him again. Oh, Megan, Felix is a big high and lifted. Uh, without any additional inspirations to give, I just pat myself on the chest and walk up. Um, and mom, see, uh,

You enjoyed my offer of having a choice, so I'll offer you a selection. Once again, you may hear a story about a young boy who loves clowns, or you can hear the love story of a young cleric and a minotaur. Your choice. Oh my god. I want to hear the story of clowns. Oh my god. Can I have both?

I'm afraid that it's a one-or-the-other type deal, just like before. Whatever you dink is going to... The second one will be for Vandress and Jill. There are five of you, so odd number wins. You guys vote. Which one do you want to hear? What was the option? Clowns? Young boy who loves clowns, or love story between a minotaur and a young cleric? I'm really too long. I know the one story, but I like the... Well, that's it.

I'll have to sing my story. Is that all right? Yep. Very okay. I think it is. That's not our choice to make, Mim Bonzi. Yo, I'm the storyteller. You decide. Try this on for size. Jeez.

Sweet Jimothy comes with monstrous smooches covered all over from head to toe, covered all over with sweet Jimothy. There was a lone minotaur named Jimothy searching for his hammer and beating his rivals until a great cleric

convinced him to talk. She offered to help if he gave her his guidance and showed them safe passage to their pressing goal. Deep down that she had a good spirit, so coming together they joined and avowed he'd get his hammer and she would get sweet empathy.

Comes with monstrous smooches Covered all over from head to toe Covered all over with sweet jimmies Later the bull man would use his great strength To rescue the cleric who'd taken his friendship In spite of him being a beast of his ilk She dropped to her knees and she started to worship

her goddess for shaving her butt. Jimothy howled for so fine a companion. The cleric then said, dear, I'm so glad we met. Now show me the true meaning of Ambroschette. Sweet Jimothy.

comes with monstrous smooches covered all over from head to toe covered all over with sweet jimothy fucking bro oh i am honored i am so fucking honored thank you so much

This is my character from another campaign that we stream. And I bow deeply. That was fantastic. The weakest performance of the six. The DC goes up and down. I got 20. Oh, I'm sorry. Uh...

Oh boy. Hot fucking gas. He has a, he's continuing to keep his arms crossed. And as you finish, he stops and he stares.

He smashes his massive palm on his knee and slaps it. You all rumble as he heaves himself up and begins to clap. Well done! I must admit, I am impressed and I am very glad you...

ended on that beautiful tale I needed to cheer me up. My pleasure. And so you know what? I have what you're looking for. And I think I might sweeten the deal. I am going to let you take a look around. I'm going to go fetch what you seek. Give me one moment. My griffins will keep an eye on you. And he lumbers out.

But there's a surprising grace to his steps as the door opens and he's gone for probably 15 minutes. And then he comes back out and as the door opens, I'm going to call my music again. God damn it. The door opens again. As he comes out holding

scimitar. But it is... You can see that it is humming with energy as if there is a swirling

wind around it as it glows with blue and white magic. A long scimitar polished steel. It has intricate, the pommel is this intricate design that is the shape of a feathered serpent with a tassel off the side that is just absolutely perfectly crafted as he walks out

and extends it down towards you. And it is massive. The only one of you that would even hope to even wield it on your own would be Toa. And even then, it looks like... It looks as if, like, this is made for a gym. As he hands it... Don't drop it. Careful. Thank you. As promised. Thank you. And so...

You are the ones that are going to spread the tale of Nimbansi and his griffin menagerie across your world. And if you do it like that, I will be legendary. And so he reaches into his robes and he extends a fist. Come on, line up. And he...

And you see these beautiful, like velvet satchels that he drops in each of your hand. Consider this a payment in advance. It could be 2,000 gold pieces each. And it's like a massive heavy satchel. Yeah. And...

I vote gold. Gold. You rich bitch. And he turns his arm and the door that he had just come out of opens. And you see down a long, huge hallway. Glittering. A glinting of light on gold, silver, platinum, armor, weapons. Humming magic items.

I prepared my hoard for you. Take one item of your choice and of the good stuff, the pile on the right, and take three from the pile on the left. It is yours to decide. My three best griffins will be keeping an eye on you before you leave. Thank you so very much. You've been so kind.

Wonderful. And generous. And generous. Thank you. So large and handsome, too. I don't know how you do it. I suppose it's the mask. But thank you. The king of the clouds, for sure. King of the clouds. Thank you very kindly. May you tell my story beautifully. Far and wide. Take your time.

I don't got nowhere to be. Hopefully you don't need us. We should be quick. Still don't have much time. Yeah, let's hurry. Let's go. So you rush in, and as you walk through, you see two massive piles of treasure.

collection that's not well organized but hoarding you see weapons armor trinkets on one side and the other side you see vials filled with liquid scrolls roll up humming with energy and you can all choose

One magical item from table G. Oh, shit. Three items from magical item table B, one through 83. And so we can decide that for next week. Yes. We'll decide that for next week. Sounds great. Sorry, B what? One through 83. One through 83. One through 83. Table B. I know what's up there. And G. Okay.

And then one from Magic Item Table G. So one from B, three from G. I don't know the tables. One from G, three from B, up to 85. 83? I'd love to take a look at them during Adventures in Chill, maybe. And so we'll decide that for... We'll pick off stream and for next session we'll have those. Holy fuck, I'm so excited. I run over and I grab an item and I say, I can't wait to use this! Oh, this is perfect!

I've always needed three of these. This looks or feels always very useful or is great. One from G? Oh, baby. So I want to turn back around and you all collect your loot and he's standing waiting for you. So my bard's

Did you find out a manabal is the D.L. of Sweden? It is. Entirely. A ventress will know your name far and wide. I'll make sure to deliver the message to Sassanet Street, personally. You must tell me how to get there once you return. The next time we see each other.

Next time, I am counting on you. And next time I would love to hear more about your mask and your deity. That is for when you return, the last part of the Sweetened Deal. I will tell you my story.

But you all have a world to save or something boring. We do. Then we'll be on our way. Thank you again. And I'm gonna turn out and just start hustling with the sword over my shoulder. I'm gonna follow too. You do that. You all step out and once again all the smaller griffins...

fly around you as you see the three massive ones looking really disappointed. They're all like hanging in their heads dejectedly. And then you see as he goes to a large chest and just pulls out

three massive bird-like creatures and just chucks them to each of the griffins and they snap it up and they're gnashing and tearing and I was like, oh, we'll get one extra one for you, Charlie. And he tosses another one. And the doors close and echo as you return, flying out as you get a good distance away. Suddenly, a flash of blue

And Alkyra emerges. He did not kill you all. I was ready to go in there scimitar swinging. No, we have the windseeker blade. Don't hold it like that. And I think you should use it. It is made for you. And I'm not much for the slashy business. She looks at her scimitar.

And she pulls it out and extends her hand and suddenly it disappears. And she reaches forward and grabs it. And you see the wind as soon as she grabs the hilt swirls around her. You hear the crackling of thunder as it swirls around her and then back out onto the blade.

How crazy would it be if she was just like, peace, bitches, and then went invisible and was like, well, we're fucked. It's what I always needed. Now I want a kiss. She then, she said, With that, are you all ready? Yes. We're so ready. We should hurry. We shouldn't waste any more time. Let's go. How do we do this? Get around me. Do you all trust me now? I think so. I'll be my child. Morta. You trust me.

Fuck, we just gave you the weapon. Of course we trust you. Let's go. And with that, her arms start to spin as the magical glow emanates. But rather than the magical blue, it's just a simple white. As hot white swirls more and more, as suddenly the white gets blinding.

And suddenly, once again, your stomach almost feels like it gets ripped out of your body. Thanks for hanging out with us. Thanks, Wes. Thanks, Wes.

as that happens and suddenly you immediately hear a massive crash of thunder as you see a bright flash of lightning and you feel heat as as lightning is crashing all around you you are standing in the center of

of a massive platform of in a huge tree. You look around, you see you're, you're in Cleary. You hear screams all around you. As your eyes look around, you are, you are on a massive platform and directly beside a large warring metal rod of two, uh,

prongs spinning around, lightning crackling between each one, wind is swirling around it. As your feet fall on solid ground, you still feel like you can fly.

As... As... As you see figures, the city, sprawling out ahead of you. As you suddenly hear a loud... And suddenly the splintering of wood as fire does not erupt. You know that this is magically treated. But you hear... As...

individual scream as Aarakocra fly and swarm as a massive tree splinters and falls. You see massive buildings, dozens and dozens of houses being splintered and crashing and collapsing as it falls and hits the forest floor below as

civilians are flying all around. You see guards attempting and soldiers attempting to fly and make formation as they fly in the direction of something. And you know what it is. And you hear the loud crash of thunder as the wind is howling all around you, whipping through the trees. As you see far ahead, you see the trees shaking.

almost being swept like blades of grass as they bend and creak and break as the storm all above you gets more and more violent. And directly ahead, as you finally have arrived back to the Material Plane, to K'liri, you see above the trees flying directly towards you six massive storming eyes.

And that's where we'll end this session. Oh, God. I fucking love this campaign. Holy shit. I don't know if I can wait until next month, y'all.

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