Welcome to Legends of Avantris. I'm Felix Ackerman and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time.
I'm looking for either the Talon, Claret, Wizard, Prophet, or Medic. Brother Groobar? You said Groober. I'm Lufty! I've been ten years! But he said he was going to this city, and in my mind, and in Lufty's mind, that's Zantra, and that's where we have to go anyway. Can you help him? I can see what I can do. I would recommend that he be brought to the monastery and be put under 24-hour supervision. The patient seems to be still. The jury...
The journey is not easy. I hear the as it echoes and it sounds like the banging of war drums, ogres and hill giants all marching with some kind of distinct purpose.
You are in the Stoutmane Highlands. You have... You're probably still several days from Butcher's Bluff. Or maybe rather a day or so from Butcher's Bluff. And...
you are stopped kind of around this ridge. You see up in the mountains there are just these lumbering shapes, massive, bloated, hideous shapes of flesh that you know to be hill giants, as well as smaller but still no less rotund and grotesque
ogres riding beasts of various sizes flanked by other strange beasts. It's hard to tell from where you're at, just shapes of masses of hair and flesh that you can see. You hear the loud booming of war drums as these creatures are marching northward in the same direction that you're heading.
You are kind of behind an embankment. You can kind of hear the lapping of a river that goes through the highlands, the running water, almost drowned out by the sound of the far-off drums, despite being so far, echoing quite loudly. What are you guys doing?
Man, these beats are really fresh. I love this. Does anybody know ZZ Top? Sorry, he's a Galtica guy, it's not important. Does this normally happen around here? Look at all this going on. Dumb question, but is this normally-- would I have ever known of anything like this? You would have no idea. Toa, I-- no, no, I don't-- I can't recall anything like this. This is definitely out of the ordinary.
I mean, we clearly can't go in there. Are they way, way, way far away? They're very far away. So you know that Butcher's Bluff is kind of... There's the mountains, the Krova mountain range, that's heading directly north. And you've been in the highlands kind of a little bit in front of the foothills, keeping your eye on the mountains, kind of heading north. And you know that Butcher's Bluff is some point up north in the direction that you're heading. But you...
It's not like they're just guarding exactly where you're going. They're just all far in the distance, and just with the vast ranges that you can see because of the elevation, it's easy to see, and for how large they are, it's easy to see them moving northward. Can I get a sense of how far away they might be based on my understanding of acoustics and echoes in a drumming space?
Don't burn your back out with that. Make an intelligence check. Intelligence? That's where I'm-- oh. Yeah, I know exactly what I'm fucking talking about. Where's intelligence? I know. It's going to be a 19. A 19, okay. You get the sense that they're probably, I don't know, 15 miles away. I don't know.
Oh, so it's far. It's far. Seems like we could get there in like a half day walk if we went straight towards them, but that's probably not the best plan.
Well, while I know our goal, my goal, Toa's goal, we need to go to the capital city. I have a feeling we may run directly into this band of creatures. I'm not sure. I don't necessarily want to fight them head on, but it's concerning and it might warrant investigation. Felix, darling, is that the frog I was talking to? This is Jason Funderburger. LAUGHTER
Then that's definitely the frog I was talking to. He's missing an eye. Did he pluck out his eye? Is there always missing an eye?
Well, what if I did? I didn't do it on purpose. So it wasn't one of those creepy death rituals you do all the time? They're not creepy death rituals. I'm talking to my god. Well, I thought you did that with creepy death rituals. I thought that was the whole point. Oh, my god, I'm not talking to you. So we leave from one dark thing, which is a strange man that I didn't want to bring with us, who is obviously turning into some kind of beast creature, and now we're heading straight into etnons and giants and whatnot. What are we doing?
you're asking me like like you think this is my fault I listen to be fair we said oh let's hang out in town and it was like yes we'll party we'll drink we'll sleep in nice beds and you were like no that sounds like we are going to leave immediately and we're going to butcher's bluff and we're going to find my brother and we're leaving
That's a pretty good impression of me. And everybody said, no, we're not. And you said, yes, we are. We're going, we're going, we're going. And I said, no, we're not. And you said, yes, we are. And we all said, well, fuck, I guess we're going. And so now we're here. So yes, I would actually look at you and say, this is your fault. And then we got ice cream sundaes. We did. That was really great. It was delicious. I don't quite remember it like that. But you got ice cream sundaes and you didn't invite me aloofty.
Well to be fair, I made Toa sleep in a cave for a night so I thought I'd out it to him. Well to be fair, you made me sleep in a cave for a night. Well it wasn't quite a cave, it was more of an outcropping. And with the base and the definition of a cave, I guess perhaps if there's any kind of covenants in it, quite a cave. Have we discussed the philosophy?
between the difference between a cave and an outcropping. I don't think that's come up in conversation. I spent the night outside, that's true. You know, that reminds me, we never had the conversation where we were going to decide what exactly constitutes a dog pack, so maybe we'll just have that, we'll wrap that up. You said that they're at least 15 miles out, correct? That sounds about right, yeah. I think we have more than enough time to figure out what constitutes a dog pack. Well, I think that it's, so generally, are you still here? No, I'm fucking here. LAUGHTER
I'm sitting right here as tall as you are, big fella! Is it possible to get to Butcher's Bluff and avoid those guys? Well, I'm not going nowhere fucking near those ugly guys. I mean, you got one ugly fucking mug, but they're like 20 times uglier than you are. Aren't we even just a little bit concerned what they might be doing? I mean, like I said, I don't necessarily want to cause any trouble or stir up any fighting, but it's kind of concerning.
I mean they do seem to be, based on the tone quality of the drums, I guess that they're preparing for some kind of a battle, conflict, clash, that kind of thing. What direction are they marching to? Is it going north? Well, it looks like they're marching north. But what's north? I'm not from here. Well, north is always north. Oh.
No matter where you are, it's still not. It's GC's library. They have compasses where I'm from. Is that what a compass means? Yeah. Oh man, I need to buy one of those. Let me write that down. So do we know what's north? Do we know where they could be matching? I would know the direction of the capital, correct? And which direction we need to head to get there, right? I would say that you would know that
Basically, Zentra's pretty far off if it moves to the capital, but you know that basically to get there, anyone would need to head north to get around the Corolla Mountains. Okay. I'll basically just relay that information and give a brief description. Basically relay what you said about having to travel around the mountains to get, you know, north to get to the capital, Zentra.
Now, I can't say that they're going to the capital, but it's that direction. I mean, we may have to go around them, through them, sneak by them. I don't know, but it doesn't seem like we have any other choice.
- Jiminy, is it unusual for ogres and all these other monstrosities to get all together and ally with each other in that way? - Look, I'm gonna cut you off really quickly. - I need to talk. - We have a goliath, we have a genosi, a very shifty human, a dwarf, a tabaxi,
That's me actually. And a Teeplink. So if we're all together, then I'm not shocked that they're all together, I think is my point. Is that what it's making? Well, yeah, but we're all like rational humanoids. I don't know anything about these creatures. Have you met Felix?
Felix, I would like you to meet Caprice. I know Caprice. Hello, my name is Capriccio de Sesto. You can call me Caprice. It's a pleasure to meet you. Lovely. We've met. We've done this already. You've met in a rational number of our parties. That's fair. I met semi-rational. He's not like a creative student and
and eating flesh and whatnot. I'm the most rational of all. Well, no, but he's got a scroll hanging out the back of his collar, and I feel like that's not a real safe place to be putting your scrolls, you know? I know you're a wizard and all, but shouldn't you be putting that in, like, your cave? Like, somewhere, like, in a pocket? I don't know what you're talking about. Well, I saw something, you know, and I figured it was a scroll, so...
Anyway, I think we should make sure that all of our scrolls are secured before we proceed. That was the most RP plot I've ever heard. I have no idea what's going on. I don't know. You look sad. Answer my question. Ignore Iris. What do you got?
You don't ever ignore me. You can just avoid what I was saying. Just don't ignore me. I mean, you keep providing me all this good shit. I'll do whatever you tell me to. Can you take us to Butcher's Bluff? That's what I'm fucking doing. Well, so first of all,
Ogres, hill giants, they all fucking hate each other. They're all competing for raids and pillaging and killing game and all this stuff. And so when they fucking came to us, to my host, and Big Boss told them to fuck off, they promised that by working together that we could fucking...
achieve amazing power and do great things. And I guess it was appealing for them big loaves up there. Hmm. Wasn't appealing to us, apparently. So it is unusual that they're all together and I just wanted to learn. I mean, I wouldn't be uncomfortable swinging by and doing all the reconnaissance, but I think that we should try to keep ourselves as un- aware as possible when it comes to the ogres and whatnot. What do you guys say? I agree. Let's do that.
Oh yeah, I guess we could. I was hoping you'd say you'd go back and build a fucking town. I was like, "Okay, that's fine." I'm not sure about you, but that was Luffy's idea and that was also my idea, so I think that we could do that. Right, go back to town? Yeah, I'd love to go back to town. Well, I know my dad's up this way, so I can't. I can't go back to town. So your father, his brother, and apparently us now. Fine, I'll go.
There may be some reason to go back to Kirstein at some point. But I think for now we should at least investigate something clearly weird's going on. Okay. So, she looks at you and says, Well, it's good for you that I know the way, so let us proceed. And so she continues to lead you.
And as you're turning, you are then-- you kind of make your way for another half day, and you finally kind of approach this. You see a large rock formation kind of coming up from the foothills and the moors. And I realize I may have described that at the end of the last session, so we'll just retcon that.
I just got nuked for more than a minute. I love the canon nuke. And you see that there is this almost kind of like mesa-like structure that is relatively disconnected from the mountain raiders, kind of just standing up ahead. It almost looks like this kind of strange jagged hook. Um,
made out of natural rock. And as you're making your way, you can see the movement.
the ogres on their great beasts and the hill giants walking around. You can see that the hill giants stop to take a rest quite often. So you're able to keep up pace despite their huge strides. You do, however, notice that the sky, there are little dots in the sky
above these, you see kind of the flapping of wings, kind of flying above them, as if there are some winged creatures kind of tailing them. Do they look like big flying creatures or bats or what's going on? Maybe a little bit bigger than bats, but definitely not gigantic.
But it's very hard to tell from how far you're staying. Jammity does not want to take you that close. And so she kind of takes you around these ravines. And as you're making your way through, it's about probably about 3:00 in the afternoon.
you hear kind of the rushing of another river. You realize that these moors are just dotted with all these rivers going through. You've forded a few, you've waded through some shallows, a few of these. And you kind of hear the roaring of one that's relatively close to you. And as you're kind of turning around like a large cleft in a rock,
you start to hear the sounds of conflict. You hear this low gnashing and splashing in the water, and this and you hear suddenly the voice that sounds to me like a humanoid, kind of low, in pain.
And it almost sounds like there's a scuffle and a battle going on probably no further than 80 feet away from you. Can we see what's happening? You can see that this landscape that you're in is kind of jutted with all sorts of these rocks, so it sounds like you can see the river ahead of you. You'd have to kind of hook around this cleft that you're in to kind of continue the river as you kind of hear the voice coming out ahead. I'm gonna...
call Beatrice out and just mentally talk with the bird and tell her to take a look, fly around, and I'm going to look through her eyes to see what's going on. - Okay, so you do that. And suddenly, a few of his eyes glaze over in this bright blue.
and Beatrice flaps off and flies around, taking Pi off into the sky. Felix, you see kind of the landscape shrink beneath you, Beatrice gains altitude, and you see
the signs of a battle very clearly. And it's matching up with the sound that you've been hearing. And it seems as if there is a large human male who's slashed across his chest and up his leg, a bow cast to the side.
a very large bowl with a mustache. His head is cracked and covered in blood. Looming over, splashing through the river is a huge, green, ugly creature covered in warts, a long nose, huge fangs, and with these strange, almost fish-like fins and gills and protrusions.
coming out after him, splashing towards him, and it seems as if this human man is kind of, is unable to stand, and he's kind of dragging himself away, and the troll's like looking at him, and it's troll. - Oh, you wrote that down. - And you're a river troll, you would probably have learned about a river troll, so in your thing, I would say that it would be reasonable for you to know what a river troll is. It is a river troll.
attacking this mammoth. Seems to be in hunting gear, but definitely completely, his skin is also singed and a lot of his armor is worn away, covered in this strange light green acidic
Almost like he's been puked on. As soon as I see this, I'll snap out of it and I'll say to the group with urgency, there's a human. He's wounded. He's being attacked by a river troll. I think we can make it if we rush. We should go. That is so freaky when you do that with your eyes. There's no time to talk about this later. I look all the time. Let's go.
I'll dart off? We start sprinting and we go down to them. As you're running, unfortunately the landscape is so narrow and then the river cuts very wide around these two large cliffs in the landscape and so you have to saddle around a side of this cliffside and you're half in the water as you're wading through. You
As you're wading through, you come onto the scene. The troll is right upon this human man. His eyes are kind of wide with fear, but almost kind of glossed over as if he's hit his head or something, and he almost doesn't fully understand what's happening. And...
And the troll kind of, as soon as you just rush out, you hear the loud splashing. I'm going to use my feline agility to zoom in even faster and cast Healing Word on the guy. Okay, okay. So the troll looks at you as you do this. Oh, I was going to say, as we were rushing there, I wanted to warn them about the natural acidic attack effect.
of the troll and to say, it's something you need to be aware of. They have a sick digestive juices and you just have to be careful, that's all. What's that? And I just start running. God grows back, darling. And I'm gonna run in. So the troll turns and looks at you.
and I get everyone to roll for initiative. But as soon as you're splashing through the water to get there, all of a sudden you start to see kind of these strange shapes emerge from the water as you disturb their, uh,
as you disturb their resting area, as these strange imp-looking creatures, just covered in mud, emerge out of the water, and they seem to be pursuing you as you're coming up on the scroll. Okay, so I need 20 to 25. 23. 25. Damn. 25 is going to be cheap.
I don't know if she knew what my initiative is. Okay, who else? 23. 23 is lifting. Okay. Our Dexy boy. What's it do to me? Okay. 15 to 20? 19. 18. Dammit. Oh, 14.
That's what I got. 18 is Persia. What did you get, Iris? 14. 14 when you get that? I also got a 14 when Iris got first. Okay. If she'd like. So I would say, Iris, you're able to sprint before the combat starts, and so you're...
you manage to chant a spell to Anubis, and you see that shimmering roll come over. Overhead, we see the wound starts to close up on this guy a little bit. Jammity is a little bit drunk, so she's horribly disadvantaged. Okay, she's a snake. She's going to die. He heals for nine points of damage. Nine, okay, nine points of damage. I'm going to write that down real quick. Okay, hmm.
Okay, River Troll and all of his business. Do you read the books? I'm trying to see my spell book. Oh, Mike, can you grab the harmonies? Oh, yes. That's the one thing we forgot to do.
Oh, I'm a little bit prepared. So, there are many behind you, right? Oh yeah, he's gonna grab them, Jarek, yeah. So you are coming around here, the troll is splashing through the water. Mine has her own, so does everybody else from crime. Yeah?
Sylvie and Amulet. You want to move the camera? Oh, yeah. So... Oh, no, we don't need her. Maya's got her own mini. A dwarfie. Where's Iris? Iris is here. I'll say, like, you're right up here, Iris. We need James. Do we have any, like, Salazar, Seaspray, or anybody else? Yeah, we got tons of people. Griggo.
- Oh, they're both goblin orcs. - Bricko's up there, yeah. - Yeah, let's just get Bricko, little Gabbo. - Little goblin. - Maybe can you try to control the camera? - I will, it's still on his side. - And then we'll just place them, then who else we got? And then we'll just, you know. If you guys can't get where you need to go, we can just adjust. So I'd say you're kind of up here in the front, Toa. You're, I'll say you're here, here.
here, here, I'm fine with this and you guys can adjust if you need to. Jammies in the back as these creatures are emerging. And then-- Where's our friend? Our friend, can we get Kremi behind you? Let's just get Kremi for him. 'Cause I don't know where Salazar is. Kremi's a little more than-- He's probably downstairs somewhere now. So he is right here. Left? He is kind of pulling himself along on the shore here. He is, okay, so.
It is...oh, I need a roll monster. Nah, it's good. Toad, what'd you get? 19, I got a 19. Verza, what'd you get? She got an 18. Iris, you got a 14, right? Monster 1, and...
Capricious, Capricious. I see the troll and I'm readying my hand crossbow, but I turn to my left and I see these creatures emerging from the water. What do they look like specifically? Do I get a sense of what they are? They are these strange, strange kind of muddy, muddy river beasts. It's nothing like you've ever seen.
Do they look like they're going to be aggressive? Yes, they are gnashing at you. They have these rows of incredibly sharp teeth, and they have these webbed fingers with claws on them. They look like they're dangerous. Holy hell, what the fuck are those things? Oh my god. I'll turn, and can I do it? Could I move through these people that are my allies? Yes. All right, so if I went...
7.5, 15, and then 15. I think I can get here and hit these three with Thunder Wave. I'm going to pull out my viol and I'm going to hit it with the sharpest of my fingernails all in one blow.
A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from me into the muddy creatures. They each have to make a constitution saving throw. Okay. One gets a 17, two gets a 14, three gets a 19. The 14 is the only one that fails, so everyone else takes half damage and isn't pushed, but the one that...
That's going to be eight thunder damage to the failure, four to the others. Which one failed? Two failed. Two failed. He gets pushed back ten feet. Okay. You see Capri just run up with his veal and do a power cross.
chord and a blast of thunderous energy as the viol string makes this magical amplification and it blasts these water imp creatures and sends one skipping along the water like a stone back 10 feet. The other two are definitely hurt, but they manage to hold their ground as they're swimming at you in the water. The other two take four. Two and one. Yep, okay. It is...
Okay, so I'm going to run up past Iris. What are you? I'm the tall, greenish clump. She's the mossy clump on the board. I'm gonna run up past Iris and do kind of a running kick and try to knock the troll off. Okay.
How much movement do you have? 40. 15. A gazillion. Yeah. Yeah, you can definitely get there. Just run up next to me. Okay, so I'm going to do like a big kick, like a running soccer kick. Okay. Okay. You do a running soccer kick. Running soccer kick. Oh, that was bad. Pretty dark. 13.
13? That's all right. 13? 13 on the river troll misses. So you run up, and your foot kind of slips in the mud as this bank is very muddy. And you miss. You kind of slide about a foot away from the back of this troll's spine.
I'm going to look around and I'll do another spinning kick. I totally saw that. 16. 16, that does hit. Yay!
The green E20 rolls better than the F on it. Seven damage. And trying to save face, you come around with another kick, and this one does make impact. You have crack as your leg kind of hits the disgusting, slimy flesh, and kind of how you kick off just like this layer of
not particles, but river scum and creatures, and it's pretty disgusting. But you do seven points of damage. Okay? Toa, you're up. I would like to... I'm running towards the troll. I don't even notice those guys. What are you? That's you? Yeah, that's me. So I have six squares to go. Can I make it?
To the troll? To the troll. If you ran 79, 15, you could get here in 30. Oh, and then so, and that's the melee range, right? Am I going to get there? Yeah. That's it. Okay. I would like to use my bonus action to enter my battle trance. Okay. And then I will make an attack. You see Toa kind of hunker down and his eyes kind of gloss over with this incredible trance-like determination. Okay.
Man, he's such a sweet guy, but don't get him mad. Uh, it's like 20-something. Oh, yeah, it is. Okay, so it's about 2d6. Ooh!
Ooh, that's really good. Six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 damage. Holy shit, okay. Your maul, you hear a loud crack as the maul smashes into the side. You hear maybe one of the ribs of this troll crack as your massive maul smashes into you, a ton of damage. Okay, does that end? And he's now marked by my ancestors. Okay, as you can see, as soon as he hits,
All of a sudden, these shimmering shapes that look, it's hard to tell if they're really there or not, but they almost seem to be like Goliaths just like Toa, but kind of fading in and out of reality, kind of trying to distract this troll. Okay, with that is Herzog. All right, he's going to run up to number one over here without her flail and go for a flail attack.
13. 13? 13, you run up to the creature, the mud creature. Okay, yes, and you do hit. So your Dakota slams down onto the flesh of this creature. All right, so she's gonna do, fuck me, three bludgeoning damage. To number what? To number one. To number one. She's gonna use her shield master,
Feed to shove the creature as a bonus action. Okay, so I'm trying to not get prone. Okay So how do I do what do I do against that? I think that's a contest. It's like a grapple contest 16 plus the strength
It's either athletics or acrobatics. That would be 17. Oh, that didn't work. All right, that was a fat seven. It's too slippery for you to knock down. It just dies out of the way. The old fat seven. All right, that's my turn.
Monsters 1, as it's kind of looming over both Lufty, Iris, and Toa, you can see that this large man is reaching for this bow that's behind him, but it kind of looks like he's not really able to do it. His arm is completely shredded. His leg is shredded. He's just covered in this acidic armor.
farmer, he's looking incredibly rough. It's hard to tell, did he have hair before this attack or not? It's really difficult, but he's looking rough. The troll, however, with all the damage you're doing, just turns with this hunger in its eyes and it is going to lean down to make a bite attack against you, Luffy.
Lifting has 16 AC. 17. 17 AC? Okay, I'll adjust that. That will hit. That will be seven points of piercing damage as the fangs sink into you.
He was disadvantaged. He was, sorry. It's the exact same roll, so it still hits. I tried! Thanks, Toa. With that, it's going to tear a chunk out of Lufty's tiny body, and it's going to swing around to try to hit Toa. I wish I got damaged. I was a balloon, and I was just like... We deflated a little bit, guys.
- He swallows air. - We'll see some animators on this. One of the slashes does manage to hit, but the other one, Toa, your AC, it barely missed you, you were able to cut him up. Block one with your maul, the other one rends across your abdomen. So, you'll be taking-- - He's not disadvantage against me, by the way. - Okay. - Just you.
15 points of slashing damage that slashes across you. And then as that happens, you start to see that where you have done damage, the wounds start to close up a little bit. Not all the way, though. Not all the way. It's okay, it feels coming hot. Okay, with that, Zahra starts-- Burning!
So I am going to kind of position myself more towards the river so you can just move me a couple spaces over. And then I am going to...
I'm just gonna cast-- I'm gonna bring my hands down and cast Toll the Dead on him. And it's a wisdom saving throw. Bring your hands down, you can kind of let go off in the distance as he's going to make a saving throw and he is going to get a 14. It's a 15. And he's been damaged? He has been damaged, correct. He did not heal. Hey Iris, I believe that's called Troll the Dead.
Thanks. And I'm-- Trolls, trolls, brr! It's all in there. I'm damaged. No, I'm damaged. No, no, I'm going to make it. I have to roll it. I'm just trying to find a d12. Yeah, it's all there.
And it's a seven. Seven points of damage. The troll who grabs its large fishy ears and grabs it and it's still-- It does hit though, however. Okay, Felix, you're up. I have six spaces to move. Can I get to the other side of that rock behind the rock?
and then have LOS on the troll. One, two, three, four, five, six. I'll say you could do it, because I just placed you, so I mean it's one square. I'm going to run behind the rock, do like a tumbling roll, line up the troll with one hand, reach into my coat with the other to channel my spell and cast Scorching Ray. Okay. So it's three beams, three fireballs, hurl them at targets within range, but I'm going to send them all at the troll, make a ranged spell attack for Ray,
The first one is a natural one. The second one is a 12. And then an 18 plus 7 is 25. Alright, that sucked. So I get... Yeah, right. So 2 to 6 on him.
Eight points of damage. That was holy. You reach in your coat and extend your other hand. One of the bolts of this explodes right at your palm as soon as it leaves, but the other two, one arc splashes into the water. One finally finds purpose on its old body, and it ignites its body and lets out this roar. You see that where its wounds are, it's starting to singe and cattle up.
cauterize these horrible wounds. - I'm warming up. - So, how much damage does that have? - Only eight points. - Eight points, okay. - Boom. - Okay, got it. Felix, monster's two turn. So, these creatures are going to start kind of just shambling out of the water here. And then, I'm gonna just move these very quickly. - It looks like Warhammer Vermintide. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
We gotta play more Burnside, but that's so good. He's just gonna stay here. These creatures, which apparently, I think that these icons are the Grindylos from Harry Potter, which I didn't realize until I played them. Grindylos! So you can call them that if you want. I did not realize that that's what they were. Oh yeah, those are totally Grindylos. Yeah. So...
The one in the front is going to breathe in and go and just a huge stream of mud barrels out of its mouth. All of you in this line, so Caprice, Jammity, and Herja need to make a dex saving throw. What's it, this one? Just the one in front of you, Herja. Yeah, that one. One? Yeah. Is this a spell? No. Nine. Nine.
Or harmful attack. Oh, only one. Oh, it's a dex saving the reaction for no damage. I might be able to use shield master on this. Ooh.
11? 11, pass. So, Persia, you manage to hold up your shield as it gets completely coated with this disgusting, viscous mud. You're not so lucky. As you get completely coated, you are restrained for one minute. As your shield is coated in this sticky mud, Jammity Man should just dodge out of the way and says, You're not allowed there, skinny! And, uh...
And Jammity looks at the Grimdilo and is like, "No, I don't care for this one bit!" And so he's gonna use a bonus action to disengage away behind a tree.
Is it her turn? Oh, yes, it is. So hold on. Actually, now let me... See what she can do? She can do what she wants. Sorry, I thought you went. And she's going to back up a little. Actually, back up one more square towards you as if there was a square. And so she says like, think of the guys that have long fucking arms. And she takes the bullwhip out. She undoes the bullwhip. And with her massive arm from 20 feet away, whoosh.
Whips the troll for sneak attack damage. And that is going to hit. So it's technically a melee attack, right? From 20 feet away? Yeah, it's technically a melee attack from 20 feet away. Jeez Louise, man, she's whipped. Ooh! Ooh!
It only works because Bugglers have crazy long arms, so they have a range of them that's 20 feet. That's nuts. So that will be-- What number is trying to sue you, Caprice? So we'll do it. Number one, take my long arm off and put it on the end of my other arm. It'll drag along the ground while I do it, but then I'll get 20 foot sneak attacks. On my 1d4.
So as soon as this whip slings forward, it cracks this mud imp in the head. All of a sudden, its head just ruptures into mud and explodes on you. Exploding into such a forceful burst of mud. I need both of you to make death saving throws. Oh, you can't? So you're already restrained.
It doesn't matter, it's just a restraint. 11 and that, yeah, 11. So I still need to roll a disadvantage. It doesn't matter, it's the same effect. So you get more coated in mud. You're just extra coated in mud. There's no mechanical difference from this ability.
- 11? - 11. You barely manage to get behind it. Your shield is completely coated in mud. - Shield. - As I forgot to do the other two attacks, so they're just gonna try to punch you, Herja, that's gonna fail. One's gonna try to punch you, Herja, that's gonna fail. One's gonna punch you, Caprice.
That is going to hit. I'm going to impose protection so that as my reaction that's not disadvantaged. Oh, he is. He's disadvantaged. That'll still be a 16. Well, my shield's fucking coated. I can't give you a much help. Muddy Fist hits you for five points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, fuck!
Decoded. Decoded. We just restrained, though, we didn't have to do regular. Hashtag decoded. Okay, I'm a priest drop. You're able to repeat the thing, but can you use the action to escape? Okay, but I, okay, even if I fail the action, would I still have a bonus action? Yes. Okay. Oh.
Assuming that it doesn't have anything to do with restraining. Alright, so what I'll do is I'll use my actions to try to unrestrain myself. That's another dexterity saving throw? I will say you can either use athletics or-- I would say athletics check or an acrobatics check to kind of wiggle your way up. I'll choose acrobatics. Let's go with 24 on that. 24! You just gotta shoot him, man! It's so gross! He does this really cool break dance and all the mud just flies off.
If you were a tabaxi, that's what that would look like. Tag me with a spoon. I'll
I'll see, having seen Luffy slide on the mud, I'll be like, don't worry, Luffy, to air is genasi. I know I used that joke last session, but I'm using it again, god damn it. You got this, get ready to rock a troll. So you can have inspiration. The troll once again goes, ah! Ah!
He groans in troll. That's amazing. I love it. Okay, with that it is-- So you just get an additional d6. Is it a d6 right now? It's a d6, but you can add it to anything in the next ten minutes. Attack rolls are just like-- Attack rolls were really short last time. I could have used it on my attack roll. Oh, maybe, yeah. Let me look that up. Attack rolls are what I'm hoping for.
I like it. I'm going to use that, I got to remember to use that one from last session. Totally forgot. I dig it. Oh yeah, this is the-- We have to get over there. Crows and trolls. Crows and trolls. Trolls do grow, that's fine. Okay, look at your own.
Oh, sorry. It's your turn. Okay, I am going to-- I don't need turn this. I'm going to reach behind you, pull my spoon out, and just take a big ol' swing at it. Ability check, attack, roll. Your spoon swings towards the scroll. Let's see what it does.
That is, okay, 17 plus seven is 24? 24 hits. Okay. You crack the troll on the side of its face and all of this disgusting dribble flies in the air as you do that.
That is nine damage. Nine damage to big old troll Jones. Nine, I'm gonna spend a point of heat and do Flurry of Blows. Okay. Good job! You still use your bonus action to do the arm stroke. So Flurry of Blows is for, basically you still do the bonus action, you just get two instead of one. Oh, that's fun, okay. That is a lot. I rolled an 18 and a 19. Yeah, yeah.
That's not a bad chunk of damage. Yeah, that's, okay, so that is 10, so 14. You follow up with an uppercut and once more the dribble goes flying as you crack it in the chin. And then I'm going to finish it off with a bonus high kick into his jaw. Okay. 14 points of damage, is that all? Yeah, that was 14. Holy shit. Jesus.
That is an 11, so that's a no-go. Okay, and your high kick just barely misses it. It finally kind of regains its ability. And it's at this point where the guy on the ground just kind of shoves, pulls himself back about 10 more feet. Maybe you just move it 10 feet away from the troll mile. You bit the guy, the crummy.
I would like to as a barbarian attack him again.
Say it again. Ooh, that's no bueno. No. Well, you had four or two. You don't have-- Well, it's nine. No, no, you swing and you miss the whole stench from this troll is kind of setting you off. Percy, you're up.
Persia is just gonna swing at, of the three that are around me, which one does anyone look damaged? Number two looks the most damaged. Okay, so I'm gonna whip around and do a flail attack against Dam. Okay. 19. Yes. And a
No, I'll save it. I'll save it. So this is going to be fat four bludgeoning damage. Dakota slides it, kind of raises it, knocks it back a little bit, but not too much. And then I'm going to also try to knock him prone with a shove for my shield.
That'll be 21. Well, fuck me running. So that's a fat 13 while I'm trying. He's too slippy. They're very slippy. Run and hurt you? You're just standing there. So as the troll is kind of...
his mouth is dripping with this drool, kind of in its greens and yellows. You start to notice that the wounds that had been previously closing up are no longer doing so. So it is once again going to make two swipe attacks. On Toa again.
Oh my god. Both horribly miss. Both horribly miss, and you manage to kind of block both with your maul, and then once again it's going to lean in. The smallest target, which it seems to be the weakest target, is Lufty. It's going to go and try to make a bite attack on you, Lufty. No!
That's going to hit. I'm going to do a cutting words bet. Okay. Oh, sure. I used my reaction, I think. Let me remember how this works. I don't have it written down. That's awesome. Yeah, I used my reaction, and I will tell you as soon as I have it. D&D Beyond.
All you need is a D6. D and D and B up! We're not sponsoring, bud. It's really great. If you're watching... I'm sorry, cutting words, that's going to be... You're within 60 feet, that's fine. So I use a bardic inspiration to do it, and I say...
I say, um... No. No! I actually had a joke, I'm sorry, and then I looked it up. So I...
You know that, you know that. This is a tough crowd. Hey, hey, hey. The folk hears that and whatever cutting words does. Yeah, you subtract... Oh yeah, that's literally my D6. So subtract the thumb. Oh my. That would make it a...
- 17 to hit. - Can you take just one hit? - It still hits. It still hits, sorry. So it does seem to hear that, but it gets distracted, but it still manages to jump in. - Real quick, so the hit that Lufti took, she should have had resistance 'cause of the protector thing. So can she just have the damage? - Have whatever it was. - I'll remember next time. - It still hits you, Lufti, so that'll do a hot... It'll do a hot...
Nine points of piercing damage is once again kind of tears off another trunk of you. Okay, with that, it's Iris' turn. So nine points. Nine. Nine. Once again, I'm going to toll the dead end. Okay. Wait, do I have that too? No, no, I missed, I missed. With some saving throw. Oh, I will do that.
17. Oh, that happens, yeah. Okay, so does nothing happen? No. Okay, so you kind of hear the gong, but it doesn't seem to be very effective as the troll continues forward. Okay, that would be Felix's turn. I'm going to try to Scorching Ray his ass again. Okay. You cast Scorching Ray. I'm very disappointed in myself, and I'm about probably really disappointed in myself again. Come on! 14. 14. 14 does hit. Yes. 20. 20 hits. Great job.
24. Oh man, this guy's on a roll. Inspiration! It's gonna be 9. Plus 3 is 12. Plus 4 is 16. 16? So as all three marks of this blasting ray hit it, it's just singeing, it's letting out this rawr!
And as this disgusting smell of burning river troll flesh, as that damage does happen. And once again, continue to cauterize those bones. If you could, Maya, just move me up one square, and then one square to your right, and then one more square to your right. Perfect. Got it. Okay. So, Felix, you do that. So, once again, number three is going to...
open its mouth and just puke mud all over you. When you've got saving throws with both Caprice and Herza now, Jammie is significantly out of the way. I don't get, like, doesn't affect me for 24 hours or anything.
22. 22? You dodge out of the way. So once again, Capricci manages to dodge out of the way. Herger, your shield is not able to help you. You don't raise it up, hide up, and you are restrained. You're coated in mud. Okay, and so then that is going to, number four is going to try to punch you with his fists. It's advantage, because you're restrained. That is still not going to be enough. Jesus Christ. And then one is going to try to hit Capricci, and that is going to fail miserably as well, unless, wait, 11 does not hit you, right? I'm dodging.
And so that's all their turns, okay. That would be Jammity's turn. So she's gonna look at the lowest watch and she's gonna say, "Okay, I got you, you tiny creep." And she's going to crack her bullwhip. That is going to hit. Getting the sneak attack, right? Yep. Jeez, be careful with that thing, Jammity. If you hit me, it'll be a calamity. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Once again, the bullwhip smacks into the head and once again it explodes. I can't believe you made that save. Well, harder if you don't have to because you're already restrained, Caprice.
Capricci dare. Capricci dare. 12. 12. You succeed, and so you once again dodge the mud as it explodes in its death throw there. Okay. How's the guy looking, by the way? Is he just passed out? He is just away now, looking back. He's healed. He's got some healing, and so he's crawling away, and that's his main function.
Okay, Capriccio. I'm going to whip out my grape ear. And then I'll slash in number four here. Okay. I'm going to make a sweet, sweet slash in. Natural. Woo!
I don't even remember who we're clapping for this week. The sound of thunder. Jesus Christ. And that's fine for nine piercing damage. Let us know if that deafened everybody. Number four.
That's it? Nine? Yeah. Okay. I rolled a one out of nine. You strike true, and it pierces some mud spilled out of its wound, but it's still hanging on. Yeah, and you're a dirty boy. Strike two. Lufti, you're up. I'm going to take my spoon. Okay. Do another whack attack. Do whack attack. 18. 18? Okay, that hits, yep.
That is eight damage, and I would follow up with a bonus attack, throw a bow at him. Okay. How much damage did that do, sorry? Eight. Eight, okay. Your spoon cracks along the back of it. What? No, crack. Oh. Your spoon breaks. I didn't think that could happen.
I hate you. Do you think a dex saving throw for splinters? There are two of me. Oh my god. No one directed this stream. Second attack. Do you have clone yet? Miss. Dr. Bobble, I'm CIA. Yeah, second attack was 13. 13 misses, unfortunately. Just barely. As you, we're going to go into the punch. Is he still chasing the guy? No, he's turning at you guys.
Okay, I would like to, like, skirt around him and stay in his back. Okay, so you are going to go...
And you just shuffle around him, getting in between the human and the troll. So, can you just swing Anglin around in between him and the little cremmy guy? Right there, perfect. Okay, so it is, it is, it's your turn, Toto, you're up. - Oh man, I'm gonna-- - Get him now! - I'm just gonna smack him right in the, I'm gonna get right in his face, you know? Like try to like, just, you know, take his attention, and I'm just gonna-- - Are they about the same height?
Uh, do you have-- Felix told me to ask if you have beef. Do you have beef or something?
Oh wait, hold on. It responds to you. Wait, you're speaking common? I speak in common. Okay. It goes, You're able to understand it. Because you beat giants. It says, That's all it says. Felix, I think he's hungry for beef.
It doesn't count for me anyway, and I just-- - Based on the sound of his voice, I think he wants cookies. - 16. - 16 hits. - Five, six. - Oh, you shits. - 11 points of bludgeoning damage. - Oh, did I just knock the camera, sorry. - That definitely says laugh. - As Ysira goes, as the ball slams in to its side. Okay, with that, it's Persia's turn. Persia, you're up.
- Restrained, covered, just coated in mud. - Restrained just means I can't move, right? - You, I will tell you what restraint does. - You'll never know. - Speed is zero, attack rolls against you have advantage, your attack rolls have disadvantage, and you have a disadvantage on dexterity saving throws. - You can still attack.
As long as you can't move. You're disadvantaged and they're advantaged on you. Okay, I can try to break out of restraint with another good side? With an action. You use an athletic check. Burst out! I will do that. 17. You flex your dwarf muscles and go,
Super Dwarven Vitality. You can find the link below where to purchase Super Dwarven Vitality. And water filters. Deliboram. Okay, I'm going to use my bonus action then, because I just used my action. To
You cast Thunder Smite on Dakota. Okay, so as you rip out, you say a prayer to Morden, and then this crackling thunder energy encases Dakota. I imagine because, just for verbiage reasons, this first time you hit with a melee weapon attack during the spell's duration, your weapon rings out, blah, blah, blah, you do damage. That does not mean it triggers an attack.
No. No. It's just so that if you miss, it doesn't waste it. As long as you maintain concentration. So it's not like go and attack, it's like on your action if you attack, it does this thing. See, true. So as, once again, it is following Lufty as you're kind of going, as you're trying to distract him, and it's like,
Trying to make a chomp, take a chomp at you. And it's going ahead. Golly. It likes genasi. It's aero genasi, as they say. Oh, I just got it.
Nine points of piercing damage. - I have Saints on this over and over again. - And once again, it's gonna turn and slash Toad. It's gonna hit Toad both of these times. - Yeah, it's 'cause my brain is failing. - Oh, he do rob. - It is going to miss, but one is going to hit. One is gonna hit, so you manage to block one, but the other one is going to hit. And I will roll the damage for that. - All right, next one, next one. - Presently. - Present, presently.
Oh my god. Eight points of slashing damage. Jesus Christ, these dice are horrible. That's four points for me. You know, the dice rolling are pretty, but they don't-- 'Cause I'm a barbarian. And that is all I can do at this point, in this current moment. I'm pretty sure-- yeah, that's all I can do. Great, okay. And its wounds, once again, after being hit by Felis's fire, it is-- its healing seems to be stymied. Ha ha!
With that, it is Ira's turn. OP, OP. I'm going to toll the dead. Say it again! Toll the dead! I will win save, and I will get a hot 11. Yay, I can do some names!
Eight. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's good. I'm a liar. Three. I don't get to use my modifier. You don't. Because it just told the dead, so that was just three. That's an Elder's Glass feature. Yeah, I know. Well, no, eventually, eventually you'll get it, right? Yeah, it's up for you, yeah. Yeah, Renee's got it. Okay, so you hear that gong and it kind of... And then Toa, you hear it just like...
- Why just tell him? - He's speaking in giant. - You wouldn't know that. Iris, you're up.
I just went, so... I'm happy to go again. I just thought I went as the troll and he just took damage as his turn. I'm going to cast Fire Bolt. Okay. Can't wait for you to cast Fire Bolt. Tell me about it. I'm going to have to order more die before we hit level 5.
14 plus seven is 21. 21 hits. Roll for damage on firebolt. 1d10. Not fireball. Or flame sphere. Or fire and fire spells. One measly fucking point of damage. You go... And you're a little... I'm going to... She's... It's all sharp. And you see a little...
And it's still by rules, his wounds can't fucking heal. Ha ha!
All you need is wild. I can't talk to a vampire myself. It was actually me just flicking a cigarette butt at him, that's all it was. So with that, they see Persia, you manage to burst out, and so I think number four is the only one who is alive and can still use their breath. It's going . Both of you make dex saving throws. I hate this.
21. Okay, both of you succeed. You're getting used to getting coated in mud. As a Persian, you're just going to get two fist attacks on you. I'm starting to like it. My skin's getting really soft. One of them actually fucking hits. Oh, I got a little concentration. You're going to get four points of bludgeoning damage as a muddy fist hits you in the face. 17 for concentration. How much damage? Uh, uh,
That's four points. Okay. You can send like mud on your cheeks and go in this or take these like-- I'm not going to do that. Okay, with that-- I believe that's both of your things. And then Jem needs like, okay, just hold on a second. She roots around, pulls out a bottle of whiskey, drinks it.
She's now disadvantaged. I swear this helps! Please don't hit me in the back of the head! Can she move a little over to hit number four? Yeah, right there. So she's going to take her bullwhip again and being at disadvantage. She's still going to hit. Holy shit. Okay. Uh,
That is going to deal... Meteor Swarm. But it's like meat, not meteor. It's meteor. It's meteor than something that has... It's meteor than something that's not as meaty. Is it cloudy with a chance of meatball style? Once again, Jenny's like...
Expands close. And mud flies in your direction. She's pulling a dogo right now. Our first fight session with dogo. Eleven, barely. You hold your shield, it blocks the mud. You dodge out of the way. Number four is dead. He's like, are you guys even fucking doing anything? Number four? We're coated in mud!
That's why you should have painful fucking arms! With Dennis Caprice's. Not on my torso. What am I going to do? I'll run up and I'll stab this guy in the fucking face. With 21 to hit. No, 20 to hit, sorry. And that'll be...
Thank you. That'll be 13 damage. 13 damage? Okay. You stab it once again, some mud oozes out. You do that, and it's looking like it's wounded, some mud is oozing out of its body. I get over here and finish off this wicked creature. I'm getting really tired of dodging rain. I'm going to take my spoon for an overhead and say, "Want to play Whack-A-Troll?"
Boo! Boo!
It seems as if the marching ogres and giants have switched from war jumps to war air horns. 16 to hit? 16 to dance. Okay. So that's six damage, and then I will bonus action, just give him, I don't know, maybe like a shove. Is a shove like a-- Shove's a full action.
As a, oh, okay. Yeah, shoving action into that. I'll just slap him. Okay. You smack him across the face. You kind of see the tooth chip as you're just putting it down. All right, and that is a-- A lot. A lot, 20 something. Yeah, you got it. Okay.
I got no dice 'cause my nails are long. That is six damage, and then I'm gonna spend a ki point and do glories. So who needs to clip this? Our side of the family is the best. So that is 23 on both of the two unarmed attacks. Yep, yep. All right.
That is 16 damage. 16 damage. 16 damage. And then using my drunken technique, I am going to disengage and move towards Felix. So after smacking him across the face, you just do, boo, one into his chest, boo, another uppercut, get him in the chin. And he's kind of disorganized, and so you take the opportunity to disengage.
or just to walk, wait, to do attacks so you're not disengaged. Or you just-- Bonus action? That's rogues, right? Or can monks do that as well? Oh, drunken, that's right. Oh, so you manage to just use your drunken agility to then just dodge. If you use Furry of Blows, you get a free disengage. You get the sense that Brother Gru will be very pleased with how well you've retained us. And that was your turn. Sorry, I keep going to the camera on my phone. I've never seen you do anything correctly before.
I'm going to
I want to try to find where that little firebolt did one damage to him, and just hit him right there, wherever he was. You attempt to do that. I'm not having good luck with Toa here. Eleven. Eleven, you ink, and you miss. It's a rare day when you're rolling that. Yeah, I know, right? On Toa, I roll back after the character. Her guy is up. She's going to attempt to attack it. She's got Thunder's Smite going on Dakota.
But because it's the first time you hit, that means it doesn't... You don't get Thunder Smite on future hits. It's just a one-time. Okay, so let's see if this works. Well, 13? Fuck yeah! Alright. They're very easy to hit. They're slippery, but they're not... So, it's gonna be...
Five bludgeoning. Five bludgeoning. Oh no, it's not what it looks like. Okay. And then three thunder damage. Three thunder damage. You can rule out...
As Dakota hits, it vaporizes this creature and a blast of mud shoots out toward both of you. Please make-- - Can I try to argue something? If the Kargi is a creature that must succeed on a strict safety throw, be pushed 10 feet away. - There is nothing but mud left. There is no strength left. - Oh no.
Actually, because it's mud, yeah, why don't we say, yeah, that's fair. You could use the thunder's energy to block, to blast the mud back. I would say an anime would do that. So if you were working in anime, it works in a mantra. Yeah! I'm going to write that down. I love Chinese cartoons. I would say it fails, and the thunder...
It blasts the mud back out of the river. We hear splashes. No more. No more splishy splashy. It explodes away from me. With that, it is the troll's turn. Hold on, I get to move. I get 30 feet. I'm going to pass some of those little ruffles.
So fun fact, there is an article in the Wall Street Journal about how ruffles are the perfect snack ever made. Not just any ruffles, the cheddar and sour cream. They're amazing. They're literally perfect. If you want to disagree with me, you're wrong. I don't know what you guys are talking about. It's okay to be wrong. If you disagree, you're wrong. It's okay to be wrong. So,
bite onto Lufti, it's going to hit again because I never miss on Lufti. That's going to be seven points of piercing damage. Why don't I feel classy? Oh, wait, no, you're not. No, she moved. She moved. Oh, Toa, you're fucked. Bring it on. So it'll hit you, Toa, then. I'll reroll damage to that. I was getting my ass kicked, so I nuked out of there. So Edith turns around to the nearest person, and that is going to be a hot...
11 points of piercing damage as it sinks its faint fangs into you and is going to do two slices of its claws. Are you down with the ruffles? Oh yeah. Thanks. Very agreeable. Both of those are going to hit Toa. And they sink in. Not for long, not for long. Well, I was detoxing so hard I didn't seem to get it off. You're okay? No, I'm good. I was hitting that point where I was either
I thought about putting two forever, but I was worried at this point that the collective hand over would be out. 32 points of slashing damage. And it's clawed. A single slash? Does one feel, I guess, how much was the first one? One was 19, the other was 17.
The first one I would like to use stones endurance You feel the enormous filthy claws ran your flesh you use stone ancestry you use stone skin the dwarf racial ability and but you're Goliath so the Goliath racial ability in this game and
So I block all the damage with the first one. So the second one is... So as soon as it hits, you activate, your skin turns as hard as stone, and it doesn't actually continue. But the other one slices in, that does 17. 17. 18, 17, right? 19, 17. Yeah. Okay, so 70 points of damage. And then once it's finally able to slash you, and you're able to kind of get stabilized, it then kind of grabs you with both of its claws, and its mouth opens and...
And you are just coated in this horrific puke. And with that, you are going to have to take a saving throw, please. Oh boy, come on, buddy. I'm proficient in those. Are you? I have advantage on those. What? I have danger sense, so if I can see it, I'll see it coming. It's literally in your head.
Despite this clause, you manage to kind of step back and just like, you know, the drunk guy is like this and he just pours it straight down. Something gets on your boots. If you even wear boots. I don't know how that works. You wear sandals. You decide. I decide. Something gets on your sandals and it's kind of gross. But you do not get to puke. With that, it is...
whose turn is that? That is Iris' turn. That was absolutely disgusting. However, Lufty, you don't look so well, and I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to count, oh god, he's whining. I'm going to go ahead and cast Fair Appealing. And that's going to be 2d8 plus 5. I'm going to move so I'm within 30 feet of everybody. So probably
- Probably towards the middle, a little bit past you, like there. - You can get there. - Or wrong. - Yeah, like there. - And then I'm going to do that. And it's 2d8. - Yep. - Was this pretty low back? - I think you could probably get-- - Eight! - Oh. - Yeah. - Probably get the four dive. - 13. - 13. - Nice. - Hold on.
- What in that? - 18 points of health. - For everybody. - I'm in full health now. - So, Iris says a prayer to Anubis. You hear a and then healing. - Prayer of healing. - Prayer of healing emerges in the air in Papyrus font. - That's the worst. - And then Jake Gyllenhaal shows up.
Might as well be Wingdings! And you feel, that doesn't happen, but you feel the power of Anubis healing your wings. I snap out of my vision and then I see what's happening. Is it, was that a Wingding? Is it healing for everybody? Yeah. We all got 18. 18? Up to six people, so all of you.
And Jammity. Oh, you're just barely out. Yeah, I'm barely out. I don't think it's-- well, depending on-- I can move a little bit further, so I wanted to move within 30-- You were here. You can't get everybody. I moved you 5, 10, 15-- I moved you 27 and a half. So if you're here, one, two, three, four, five, six, you can't get everybody. Everybody gets healed. The Lord is sweet. The Lord be praised. With that, it is pay.
I'm just gonna keep casting fire bolts because I don't know what else to do. Rich, grab me one. What are we looking at here? Fire bolts.
Okay, that's a 22. Come on, baby, now a 1. 3. 3 is the damage. And this one is... And it's singeing, but it's still doing its work by getting hit by fire. It seems to be kind of reacting with its flesh, and it's keeping it pretty unable to heal. It's looking pretty weak, though. It's been covered in wounds, not been able to heal. It looks kind of confused, but it is in kind of this beastly...
And then I just want to move another four spaces towards the wounded guy, like circling around the troll. Yeah, that's good. Nice. Okay. Monsters, you are dead. Jammity's gonna look at that and say, I'm not getting near that brooch troll. She sits down and taps the keg of ale and starts drinking. What a bit. Caprice, you're up.
I can't get that far! Jeminy, god damn it! Move your ass!
I'll move the 30 feet that I can in this direction. And I'll whip out my crossbow and I'll shoot at the troll with a bolt of crossbow-like quality. You pull out a bolt of crossbow-like quality and pull the trigger. Bang, bang, pull the crossbow. I will 100% hit on that. That's like a 21.
21, that does hit. It literally, because it squeezes, bang, bang, pull my devil trigger. Oh god, that's a nightmare. Six damage. Six damage. No way. You pull your devil trigger, and the crop will fly down, kind of hits it in the chest. He's looking very, very wounded. He almost died, but he's hanging on. Oh, that XP!
Okay, I'm feeling so much better now. So I'm going to run at him with my spoon and just broad sweet smack him in the face. 26 to hit. I thought it might.
Nine damage. Nine damage. How do you want to do this? Eight points of overkill. Eight points? On the troll? Yeah. You need one health buff. Uh,
I rolled a one. What's he like again? I forget. He's kind of fishy and weird. He's like a fishy river troll. It looks like he kind of has these fish man, creature of the block lagoon. I remember what I was going to say for petty words. Find me a river. A river troll. You can do that now. Don't judge me. Find me a river troll. She says this.
You say this and the spoon flies in and you hear a little sickening crack as the head spins around, its eyes roll about.
And it kind of says, I just want to do this. You hear that. And collapses to the ground. So in my head, Hannah, Caprice actually said that to Luthi. Yes. Well, I'm not going to say it. I'm going to say it now. You can use it. Yeah.
I hope I've lost the toilet. I hope you did, too. Jesus. Oh boy. Anyway. Welcome, everybody. It was a joke. I obviously did. I'm not here anymore. God, Brian, being friends. I'm sweating. Quiet returns, and the troll falls dead. You see just the muddy-- there's no real remnants of the creatures that had leapt out of the river to attack you beyond just the occasional smear of mud.
The troll, its body horribly burned. It's half into the river. It's kind of moving as the current is just kind of jostling it. I'll run up to the troll and I'll jump on top of it. Hey, everybody. I'm Butter. I'm not quite sure what that's supposed to mean. Because I'm on a troll. Oh, my God. Look at...
Like a roll, but with a T. Like a dinner roll? Like you would spread-- Yes, Tom Carley, yes. Good job, everybody. I'm going to start looking down. I'm going to see if I can find anything on the scroll person that might indicate what it was up to here. OK. Make a Vanessa Gaten check.
I just want to walk towards the wounded guy. Okay. I'm going to as well. Okay. I roll a natural one, four. Natural one, four. You look around and this troll just kind of had this gross leather loincloth thing. There wasn't even any gold. You find bits of bone
and like just rotting fish and the like, it seemed as if there wasn't like any kind of hunting. - Yeah, I was starting to go through and I looked under the loin cloth, threw up, and then stopped immediately and left. - That's exactly what happened. That's exactly how it happened.
All of you approach this man. He's kind of fallen unconscious, but his wounds aren't as bad as they were when you saw them as he healed. But just kind of the sheer shock and trauma as his hand is about maybe a foot from this kind of curved bow that is, any bow will be curved, but a long bow, it seems, that he was reaching for.
I'm going to medicine check him. Okay. It seems like he's got some kind of affliction on him. Okay, this is not a good song. Um,
20? 20. He's not cursed like Amos was or anything like that. He seems to have been very-- his arm and his legs seem to have been just horrifically slashed up by the troll's claws. After seeing this troll in action, you get a sense of-- it's pretty easy for you to tell if that's what it was, as well as getting at least one massive face full of this horrific acidic puke. One side of his face is eaten away.
You can see that it's kind of affected his bow a little bit, worn away, and his armor is definitely affected negatively as well. I'm gonna reach down and I'm gonna put my hand upon his chest and "May new bits light your way into the future, darling." I'm going to Cure Wounds on him. Okay. This one's the 8. No, that's not the 8. No, that's a 10, you're right.
Well, that's better. Thanks, Derek. You're very welcome. 13 healing. 13 healing. Once again, the slashing on his arms. He seemed to be considerably mangled, but they closed up. They were bleeding profusely.
And it seems as if the bleeding has now fully stopped. I'm going to lean down to his ear and say, it's time to wake up, sweetheart, because I need you to get the hell out of here. We've had enough of creating friends on the road and we have things to do, so you should probably go home. I'm right behind her. Hey, hey, what are you?
Thanks for the follow, 666MPC666. Beast.
That turned out just fine. I don't think that this guy... Can you speak? I was going to lean in and say, Sir, can you speak? So... They're doing it again. They're picking up more pets. So... We can pick you. You better slow your rope down. Is that a cat jock?
Was that a cat joke? You know I'm not a cat. I mean we just voted for all. Can you speak? Are you alright? I'm pretty sure that was the first thing you said when we met. No cat jokes. Pick up some big leaf and fan me. Fan me now darling. Fan me now or I'm going to get very angry.
So it seems like he wasn't fully conscious, but just the loud noise of you arguing has woken him up.
has brought him to consciousness. And you kind of see him, his mustache kind of still caked in his own blood. His forehead kind of got cracked. And he kind of looks around at all of you and he's just, I need to get to Nora. I need to get to Nora. And then he runs. He kind of looks around and he finds-- he sees the bow. And he kind of pulls himself and heaves himself up and grabs his bow. And he looks around and heaves himself up.
You see that this guy is absolutely massive, completely like, he is probably, despite being a human, almost as tall as Toa, and incredibly muscular, and his motion of heating himself up, his muscles are just flexing, he's incredibly jacked. I'm going to do a very dramatic muah, muah.
Just do the slow look up. Sir, try not to move too much. You're wounded. What's going on? What happened? I need to save Nora, my sister. He said sister. So we have a brother, a father, and now a sister we have to save. All I wanted to do was get a drink and sleep in a nice bed. Yeah, well, there's still time. Maybe we can take him with us. You have a lot of money.
Oh, no, my family has lots of money, but I... Lovely, we're going to save your system. We're going to do it soon. Let's go. Where's your sister? Hold on, hold on. This guy just got beat up. Where's your sister? Well, he's not as beat up anymore. And what's your name, friend? My name... His name is Nora. He already told us. No, that's his sister's name. Well, his name is probably also Nora. I'm going to assume she's some kind of explorer. Yes.
Jesus Christ. I'm a metal explorer, I'm a hunter. Campaign's canceled, everybody go home. Rudy's the hunter? He tries to stand, he tries to-- I'll try to help, I mean, I know I'm weak, but I'm trying to grab him and help him up. Making a bloody chicken disadvantage. Oh, that's where I'm not even proficient.
Oh, wow. Let's go with 12. 12. You try to kind of get him up and you get him to his feet and he is completely massive. You feel your kind of limbs shaking and he collapses on top of you. I go over and try to help him. You are now covered in his blood and troll puke. Nora's brother's blood. I didn't catch his name. Can you show me the map?
Well hold on, let's get him to his feet and Capricci stop trying to... It was actually Adora the explorer joke, but it's fine. Oh, I haven't heard of Dora. Or Dora. Or the explorer. Anyway. Isn't it Explorer-ro? No, Explore-anyway. We'll talk about it. I think it's an accent thing that I just... Can I try it out? I have a list, I have a list.
I see her reach down and I grab her hand as she's trying to help up this guy. It's a natural one. And I have a plus five. You, you, Caprice kind of heaves it up and you're like, All right, actually, Caprice, you can stay down there. I need to learn your lesson. He falls back on top of you.
Can I go resend and lift them all up? Okay, make an athletic check, please. Oh god. I really want to pose disadvantage just for fun. He fucked it up.
Eleven. Eleven. Toa being Toa, you manage to get him. Caprice and Herja are on the ground covered in troll puke and blood, but this gentleman manages to finally get up. He puts a hand on your shoulder as I knock this initiative card off, and he says...
And he kind of grabs his leg and you realize that there's some crazy business that was shredded in his leg and it's difficult for him. He's kind of gripping your shoulder and he says, I thank you, friend. My name is Nestor Warren Strongarm III.
Write a name. Let's write that down. Nesta is a really terrible name. I don't think it worked out. It's an old family name. I'm the third in my line. I don't know if you knew that
That's what that meant. So you're making fun of me, my father, and my grandfather. Honestly, if all the names were Nestor, I'm fine with it. Nestor Warren, Strummer on the Third. It's a place you can meet your Nestor. Do end names rule in the family too, because your sister's name's Nora and your Nestor was your mom's name, like Natalie or something? Oh, yeah.
You know, I never really thought about that. I think about news all the time, so, you know. Well, I suppose so. Can we help you? How can we help you? Yeah, your leg looks awful. Why don't you take your pants off in my place? You'll take a look, and I'll just... It's great. Wrong position. That's great. No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, as wonderful as a proposition as that is, how about you keep your pants on, you just roll up the leg. I'll do it on my own. Oh my god. That was really bad. It's next. He looks like he might be a mammal, but then Ira's kind of like, okay. He's coming on way too strong. He leans up against whatever boulder is there. My guess, darling, is it's been a long time for her.
Oh my god, Felix! What? Let me look at your wounds, baby. I want to inspect his wounds and see what it would take to get him to where he needs to be. He heaves against a boulder. He pulls up his pants like much to Lufty's chagrin. And you'll do a medicine check. And, um...
It would be... I know, it's beautiful, right? 25. 25. You think if you probably do a bit more healing, you could probably get him, maybe not in fighting shape, you get the sense that he'll need a bit of time to recover from fighting shape, but at least be able to walk. Well, then, I would have to expend a little bit more of my energy to make him feel like he can talk to us properly. I guess he's kind of maybe royalty-ish.
True.
You know, he's very tall and... Is he handsome? I assume he's handsome. It's very difficult to see what can be covered in blood and trolling. Picture his face, but without the puke. Imagine what that would look like. Sitting across the table in a fine restaurant. Him buying you dinner. Me stealing little bites off the side. That would happen. Do you want to sleep with him? Come on.
How is this guy dressed? He seems to be in...
Less than eight. Very fine hunting leather. 13 points of healing. 13 points of healing. You focus on his leg, and you feel like he's kind of gritting his teeth from the pain as his--
as like the tendons and the like that are, that had been slashed and basically unusable are now starting to fuse together and he's able to kind of stand up straight. He kind of puts some weight on it and he says. - He's wearing fine clothes, nothing military, no, nothing that I can spy that would be. - I would say it's very obvious that he's not wearing a uniform. It's as if he's wearing very fine hunting leathers, maybe a bit heavier.
than you would expect for someone going on a hunt. But it looks like it was a very fine-- there's a velvet outfit underneath the leather.
there seemed to be some kind of family crest emblazoned on the letter as well. - Mike, would I recognize the crest at all? Like from a local place? - I would, why don't you make an intelligence check and see if you-- - And while she's doing that, shift my S5, would like to make a request from you.
at some point in the session in honor of Mayo that you can use the word papaya somewhere in the session. We'll see what happens. Stay tuned!
Yeah, you're just gonna have to stick around. Yep. No one say it. I'm dumb as a brick. I rolled a five. You have no fucking clue. You have no idea. There's just air up there. Yeah. You have no idea. To air. What did air have? Nester, are you from around here? Have you been journeying along to find your sister? Where is she? What do you know? She...
It's very brave and headstrong and she had it to put this bluff to... How convenient. I know, it's almost like we're playing Dungeons & Dragons.
And there's a few motherfuckers... Where? Almost! Ah, you know what guys? I'm getting kinda tired, we should have a huge time. Just kidding! It was really delicious, however, what I'll say is that's very serendipitous. We also were sort of making our way towards the bluff, but we also wanted to sort of get some recon on these ogres and hill giants. We ran into you, fortunately, that we did.
- Yeah, Beast, darling, you'd be dead if you didn't have an ability. - I know, and I owe you my life. I thought it would be wise to find my sister by myself, but-- - Nobility. That's why I take the-- - I kept the river to avoid that. - And he points over and you see the, once again, the kind of marching line.
It's still going. It's like one of those long trains that just fucking you have to wait 15 minutes for. And so you're basically keeping pace with that, more or less. Thanks to Jammity's shortcuts and the like, you're able to actually, had you been taking the road, they would have definitely passed you, but
but thanks to Jammity's shortcuts, you're able to kind of keep pace with it. Are you aware of what that gathering of creatures is? Do you know what's going on? Do you have any information? No, I don't, but I know Nora was very concerned with things that were going on in Butcher's Bluff, and she was going to put a stop to it, you see. I come from a line of hunters. We hunt giants, and I should have been able to take a troll, but he caught me by surprise while I was fording the river.
So you're saying that your sister is out there alone? She's alone and I don't know how far she made it. Yav, is she as big as you? No, quite the opposite. So you're saying you let your sister go off by herself? She's far stronger than I am. Don't be fooled by size.
You should know that more than anyone. Well, yeah, but I mean, I didn't want my dad going off by himself and then he just, you know, disappeared. But did she give you any sort of notion that she was going to be doing this? And to be fair, for what she likes and wants, she makes up for it with. So that kind of balances it out. And drinking. Yeah.
"No, go sit over there." She ignores you. She's in piece of strength, this arm's saying. "Go sit." She's whiter than she is tall.
Really shitty. Nora may lack that feature. He kind of looks very uncomfortable. Nora may lack that feature, but she's far stronger than I am. She always has been. How long has it been since you saw her last?
So was it just as you were about to ford this river, or was it a few hours ago? No, a week ago. Oh, a week. Oh my goodness. Oh, darling, she's probably dead by then. No, I know she's alive. She's far stronger than that, but I know that she would have returned to the lodge far, far sooner had she been successful, so...
No one else in the lodge was concerned and I had a bad feeling and with all the goings on in the mountains and the hills, I had to take it upon myself, turn it down. Do you, um... Yes, you're crying quite loudly. Do I get a sense of how old he is? Why don't you make an intelligence check? That would be fine. Darling, how old are you? I'm... 18.
ASL, ASL. He seems to be about his late 30s. So, having observed that and having not heard this... No, he looks at you and says, I'm 38. Is that your number? Is your sister younger or older? Do you have any other siblings? No.
She's younger than I am, but unfortunately due to her... Well, not unfortunately, I'm very proud of her, but she is now the family heir due to her abilities. Wow. That's a little embarrassing, I'm sorry to say. You don't have to tell me that. Well, listen, Master, can we walk and talk? Are you capable?
I would hope he is. Hold on, let me-- He's in the field of questioning. Well, if he's not the heir, then you know, if there's doubt. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to truck along. He passes for, I actually think things to find-- Her name's Iris. Iris. I'm a Tabassian.
names friends you've saved my life I owe you mine so sorry my name is Capriccio de Sesto it's a pleasure to meet you you can call me Caprice this is Herja Iris Lufty Felix and Toa thank you for doing that very concisely
You missed one. I said her job. Darling, she's also got a mate. She calls it Dakota. It's not real. Well, yeah, okay, so yeah, this is Dakota, but I was referring to... Yeah, this is a sentient weapon. If you've ever come across something like that. She's right. We have that weapon. No, I, of course. Everyone has come across a sentient weapon. Back there, sipping on that whiskey, that bugbear there, her name is Jammity. She's something of a... Quite a calamity.
Exactly right. Oh, we've been hanging out together. Jinx, you owe me a healing potion. No, I don't. I don't do any shit, Caprice. You hear a voice say, So stupid, wasn't it? Are you talking to me? No, no, no. Darling, we're talking about you. Keep drinking. That's fine. That's right, Lubez. And then she continues drinking. But, uh...
Sorry. Herja's question is relevant. We're actually all looking in some ways for family. Felix has a brother that he's looking for. We're looking for Herja's dad. We'd be happy to just throw your quest onto the pile if you can make a move. It's almost as if there's themes in a narrative. I would very much welcome the assistance to purchase bluff.
Well, we're on our way there. What's your sister tracking down in Butcher's Block? What are we up against? She said that the boulder maul, I think that's what I wrote down here. The boulder maul. Is that on the parchment on the back of your neck? That's on the back of my neck. What did you say? Oh, he said a journal is the best way to keep your thoughts in check. Oh, hold on, let me pull out mine. He pulls out a large leather journal with the same crest on it.
I mean, all of us who are experienced with giantkin are very familiar that the bouldermaw and the rotgut do not like each other and them joining forces lately is very concerning and the things that they've been doing, the disappearances, the raiding is... My sister is a woman of action. She does not care for finding the best solution. She prefers to shoot first and ask questions later.
Well, I...
"I may be not great at fighting now," and he tries to lift his arm and he winces, and he says, "but I will gladly join you. "I may not be as strong as my sister, "but I am not a coward. "I will gladly join you, and hopefully we find her "and whatever you are looking for "and get to the bottom of this."
Would it help if we sat for 15 minutes and sort of give you a moment with your leg? Maybe anyone else might have mechanical benefits from such a rest? Would you like to take a short rest? That sounds great. I too would like a moment with my leg. There you go. I'd be happy to. You know, I'll sing you a song. I could sing a song for everybody.
While that's happening, if you have any idea of where we're headed, just talk to Jammety. She's our guide. She knows how to get around pretty quickly. But if you have any idea which where we might want to start looking, it'd be best to let her know. He looks over and he says, you brought a bugbear with you.
Brought the joint. It's weird. It's a good thing. You have a lot of alcohol to show us the good is with her. Have you slept next to her? Well, she smells quite putrid, but yes. I have. She hasn't cut your throat. No, as long as you keep supplying the alcohol to her, I'm sure she'll be just fine. She's fine. She's very pleasant sometimes. Similar to yourself, she owes us a life debt, so there's no reason to fear. Dakota will let you know if you're in danger.
Well, I'll go talk to her. He pulls his bow off of his back and pulls an arrow out of his quiver and he just walks over. If you threaten her, I will take away from you. I will not threaten her. I just prefer to be armed around Goblinkin. I'm close by. No, I'm pretty sure she-- her name is Bugbear. She's related to butterflies or something. No, she is Goblinkin. No, like mosquitoes maybe.
Her name is Jiminy. Yeah, like Jiminy Cricket. Jaminy. Jamity. Yes, Jamity Cricket. I will go talk to her and hopefully we'll compare notes from our journals. I'm going to stay close by and I can mediate if I need to. Okay. You go do that so you're left alone out of your shot if you'd like to discuss away from your... Thank you. Retaining short rest? Yes. I'm using my fucking arcane...
replenishment bullshit. Are you singing us a song? I was going to sing, but I'm also concerned about the interaction between Jammity. They have a discussion and he's kind of tense and then once he realizes that Jammity is like, I don't give a shit, he kind of calms down. He's a little bit of on edge as if he's been trained to be
very wary of goblin can especially goblinoids especially bugbears but there's no tension or threat so you feel like you'll be able to go and sing a song that everyone will hear I pull the viola out and I put an arm around as much as I can the shoulder of this great beast of a man and I'm like I'm really sorry to hear about your sister Nora you know dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
It's alright to cry. Crying lets the sad out of you. It's alright to cry. It might make you feel better. Raindrops from your eyes. Oh, this is still going. Oh, there's more. Woo!
If you use a hit guy, you can finish one. - You gotta give it up to someone else. - Gotta give it up. - 1d6 on top of your hit guy if you use it. - That's really good. - I will. - That was very good. - I would like to shoot a hit guy. - That was very good. - As you do that, he kind of, he sniffs and like, it's very difficult to actually see his mouth moving from his mustache. And he kind of-- - Ooh, he's a mustache. - He has a really large mustache. And you can see that there is a,
They're raindrops. He kind of turns away and he like, he kind of wipes away some tears. That's the most beautiful music I've ever heard! That was very nice singing. Yeah, no problem. No problem. Yay, he doesn't fucking shut up with that stuff.
You know? Okay. So, with that... With that, you enjoy a short rest.
And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies,
a tarot deck and more. Thank you!
Does anyone know Prestidigitation? No one knows? You know Prestidigitation? No, I waste my time with such trivial... It's called Tahumamaturgy. Tahumamaturgy? I mean, to who? I'm covered in mud. What a wonderful phrase. Tahumamaturgy. Ain't no passing phrase. I ain't no well-read person, but I think it's fucking Tahum. Ha ha ha!
The who of a turkey ain't no passing craze. It means no
Okay, um, what I'll say is, uh, when I was a young kid, I was, um, well, I guess I will just clean myself off in the river because I'm covered in this disgusting mud. You guys didn't have to deal with the nastiness. Let me tell you, the troll smelled bad, but he wasn't nothing but the mud-stealing. I was watching him, though, and it looked awful. It was really just disgusting. Look, I can clean you off, but I can do this, and I use, uh, tomaturgy to make my eyes like a nice bright gold.
Does that at least make you feel a bit better? They match by jewels. You don't have any pupils. You're like me. Yeah, they're beautiful and goat. I mean, it's beautiful, yeah. You're still disgusting. That doesn't help me at all. These are the following not even square. Thank you. Well, I'm sure we'll find out. I see them all trying to clean up and I just look over at my shield. I start licking and clean.
You just hack a luthi on it and start wiping it. It's coated and you just keep spitting on it. You just see her just spitting all over her shield and wiping them away. You start beating me. Yeah, that'll do. I mean, this is... Come on, you're giving me a woody. Look, I'm... We're going to continue, but only because it can't be seen in public with people who are dirty. But please keep the woody face towards the back. You can't talk like that.
So how do we end up with these idiots? Do we still want to keep going with this? I want to move forward. I'm having second thoughts. Honestly, this has been an eventful last like ten minutes. Do you want to be late too? Well, if you're off, I'm in.
This is out of control. Nestor, Mr. Strongarm, I want to apologize. I would like to say this is out of the ordinary for us, but it doesn't appear to be so. Well, at least I guess it never gets boring. That's one way to call it. If you're feeling better, we can continue our way up the path. I'm feeling much better. Jamminy, could you lead us onward? Yeah, no, I think I've had enough to drink on top of my game.
Yeah, I trust this. This is fine. Hello, Jackie. No, no, freaking wise comments from you, horn boy. And she leads the way. You have to slow your roll a little bit, given how Nestor is definitely able to walk, but he's not able to go as quickly as you have been able to go. As you make your way through...
through the moors, getting closer and closer and closer to Booker's Bluff, you see that this large rock outcropping. If you'll kind of imagine like an evil version of Pride Rock from The Lion King. That's kind of the gist and it's shaped like a hookah. Oh man, Scar must be in charge. Yeah, there you go. Did you just call me Scar?
No, no, I just was talking to myself. You mentioned someone in charge. I don't know who was in charge. Let's just continue on. So you arrived to about probably a...
It approaches into the night. The moon is large. Despite it being on a gloomy day, this is one of the first days where it hadn't been raining in a while. The clouds are parted and the moonlight is illuminating this large bluff. You can start to see that there are bits of fire coming
just kind of dotting the mountainside and dotting this large bluff area. And it seems as if, however, despite there being activity on the bluff area, it seems as if that the main marching force of these ogres and these hill giants are heading towards a pass through the mountains.
and you can kind of see the large Krola Mountains snow-capped, relatively unforested. And you're able to
see that the mountains are fairly treacherous, and they're fairly close together. However, right behind this large butcher's bluff, you see that there is basically a gap where there seems to be a relatively less treacherous pass through the mountains. And it seems as if this is where...
this large mass of ogres and giants are having. And so it's night, you see it, you're probably, Jammity comes up to you and says, "Well, I figure we can get there and start making our climb by approaching midnight or we can camp out and storm during the day."
Is that the bluff there? That's it. Look at that thing. Butcher's bluff. It's a hook. That's why they call it that. I thought you were lying this whole time. I wouldn't blame them. The butchers and neck bettors, I'm not speaking for every continent, they use cleat.
Cleavers more than they use hooks. Yes, that's my experience as well. I was expecting a mountain made of hooks. Cleavers, not hooks. Made of cleavers. Or like, looked like cleavers. Oh yeah, no, it doesn't, does it look like a cleaver at all? No, it looks like a hook. It looks like a hook. That's why we're having this conversation. Why do you keep asking the sky questions randomly? Does it look like...
Oh, are you writing a song? What purpose does a butcher have with a hook? No, no, no, I mean the hook is a really important part of the song. I mean, I'm no fucking butcher, but I'm pretty sure they hang their meat on hooks. That's right, they hang their meat on hooks. That's what butchers do. We don't have hooks on Makami Islands, but I would assume that around here they probably do that. Then why are you wearing a hook around your neck?
Well, we use hooks for other things. But you don't have them on your island? But we don't have like, we don't hang like, if we hunt a boar, we don't hang it on a hook, we just eat it. That sounds like a lot more effective than hanging it on hooks. Yes! Sorry. I got a hook. Here's a present. From the DM. So now we use hooks for catching fish.
Catching really big fish, like sharks. Catching smaller fish. I don't think sharks are fish. I was actually going to say that, yeah they're not. They actually are technically fish! Yes, they're just very big fish. I don't think they are. They are indeed fish, no, they are indeed fish. I think that might be something we want to put on the list next to what constitutes a pair of dogs. We can table this for now. I'll pray for my fish shark spirit and she'll tell me, or he'll tell me that he is indeed a fish.
We can revisit this. It's part of a long string of conversations that we've been putting off for some time. We'll get back to them. Anyway, as Gemma T was saying, I do think sleeping tonight and dealing with
dealing with this in the morning. I think that was a gem of two. It was half a gem of three. No, it was my idea. Those were the options. Wonderful. I think sleeping and doing it in the morning is our best bet. The last thing I want to do is do this in the middle of the night, but I'm with the huge end named person.
And I slam Dakota down. She like concaves the ground around her. I'm not usually one for caution, but if it's, there's not a lot of trees in cover. If we go through in the day, aren't they going to see us go up?
Well, if we go during the night, we're going to have to have a torch because I'm going to talk about you, but I'm not positive that everyone can see in the dark. You can go first and I'll hold your tail because we're friends, you said it. We are. That doesn't mean I have to go first. Then Hawak can hold on to me. That's fine. It'll be a chain. Like a human centipede. Ew.
Yes, just like that. It's a great allegory. Is it an allegory or a metaphor? What's the difference? And then Toy can use his hook to hold on to someone else. You make a good point about us being visible during the day when there aren't any trees up there. But how warm is it? Cold is it?
It's chilly. We're not going to be able to make a fire without being noticed out here. It's going to be difficult to camp. It's a little uncomfortable. So what you're saying is we should all just huddle together like a dog pile, a pack of dog pile. I'm not quite a fan of a pack of dogs. You can sit on the top and make the biscuits. I'm gay. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we can play Tale Wars in the night.
I don't know what that means. Yours isn't really sparse. It doesn't have much... You know, I've seen some really weird stuff in the last few months and this is still the strangest conversation I've had in a long time. You people are just... I don't even know what to make of this.
Look, you talk to birds. Correct, I do. I do. I didn't say I wasn't weird as well, but this is just another level. Well, it looks like we've found Kindred Spear. I think sleeping in the dark is fine. We have ample protection between the two of us and all of us, and I think it's dangerous to travel at night, especially if we only have one or two people who can see without any sort of light source. So I'm fine with staying.
Sounds smooth. And, uh...
I don't know if, uh, if y'all, y'all can't see him, you gotta light some big torch. They're gonna be able to see us coming a mile away at night. Can you see in the dark? That ain't even a real fucking question, big time. Well, how do you do that? I can't see, I need, like, clients to see that. Have you seen my eyes? Because she, like, steps in the darkness, she goes, like, completely invisible, basically, when you see, like, her, her, her, uh,
Her golden eyes kind of just catching the very faintest of the moon glow. Very, very impressive. You gotta give it up for that. I can't do that. I can't do that. Me personally, I can't do that. I actually go and stand next to her and I try really hard to do that and I just start glaring at everybody. How do I look? Can you see me? Well, we can see you pretty much straight out. Well, I tried.
Even if it were pitch black darling, I could see you. You look fine, you look nice. No, you look beautiful. Maybe we rest for the night, we get up before daybreak tomorrow and we get an early start. Yes, I think that's fine. I think that's a brilliant idea, Pastor. I think we're all kind of just to make sure that we're all, you know, let's get plenty of rest, make sure that we can let them get ahead of us. We're going to tackle that whole world band and I think that if we wait a little bit, it's actually better, right? I mean, I'm just shocked.
Shocked that we're all getting along and agreeing on something. So let's just sit down. Shut it. Normally I would argue with him, just out of habit, but I actually agree with him. Well then, all right. Let's all jump into a big pile. And now we'll climb on top and we'll all go to sleep. Whatever the range is on Dakota, I'm going to ritual cast a warm.
kind of next to it to give us a wider spread of area detection. So you get, like, you double up and you do the Venn diagram of, like, a full and oblong campsite. Cool. So you are all now have a larger campsite and you're all able to enjoy
a little bit of security as you prevent from lighting fire. Hey, Caprice. I'll play my ukulele. You want to jam? Do I get the sense that sound would be bad in this situation? You're very far away from the bluff. Hell yeah, buddy. All right. Just tell me which chords to play. I'll back you up, man. Ba-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Ba-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da-da.
I take out my goat horn and I go . I'm just rolling around in the dirt. I have a goat horn, by the way. It's called the Big Bad Goat Horn. I'm cleaning up the moor. Jeremy says, "Hey, that doesn't sound half as bad as that other shit you played. That's fine."
Nesser looks at everyone and says, Well, if Nora has perished, then she wouldn't perish by now, so I think we should all be in our top-fighting shape before we head in there. Completely agreed. If she's still alive tonight and she dies at 6am, then you know that was fate. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It
So, what's the watch order? I'm going to sleep. I'll take first watch. I'm going straight to sleep. I'll take first watch. On top of Bliskey. Nestor's pipe. I'll take second. Felix, are you going to wake me up when I'm done? Yeah, Nestor, you take third. I'll wake you up after. I'll take third watch, yes. You can hear me. I'm...
almost blacked out now, so I'm going to sleep. Jammity just collapses right next to where Herge was and curls up like this strange, bizarre-looking cat creature and falls asleep. And the night, for those of you taking watch, is dark. You hear the... You see that each one of you that wakes up to watch, besides Nestor, of course, he's an NPC, you see the
movement of torchlight kind of going around on this large bluff and into the foothills. And you start to see that overnight, the torches that are lit seem to be kind of gathering in this parting between the two mountains where the pass is. And you all enjoy a long rest. You wake up to a gloomy day. It is not raining.
It's not raining, but there's kind of a moisture in the air almost. You kind of feel like it's going to open up. But it's cloudy, completely overcast. And just the sun is, you can kind of see the dot of the sun shining through the clouds as the sun has risen. And you enjoy the long rest. And what are you going to do?
Getting my spell slot back is what I'm doing. I'm still asleep. With D&D Beyond, it takes two clicks to long rest. Or one eraser. What about your... And then you smear your... And your graphite all over your sheet. It ruins the paper, it rips, and then it just sucks. That's why it's pretty tight. Yeah, exactly. I'm still asleep.
Nesser, you feel a large hand on your shoulder. Wake up, friend! Caprice! No, I don't want to be a cowboy. I want to get up a little early and go to the river area and fish up some fish to make breakfast. Okay. There's a nearby creek. I'll just say you're easily able to do that. Why don't you just make a quick dexterity check to see how many fish you get and how much you're able to... You can cut me a natural one. That's fine.
Well, we should have kept the cock. Words to live by. Naturally. What did you want me to do? Dex. Dex? Oh. Or survival. If it was a difference.
Eight. Eight. You managed to probably catch enough for you and me. Perfect. Now two people. I'll eat all of them. Okay. So you see Iris walking back to camp with a fish in her paw and one of her mouth like an anime. Yeah.
With like the mouth and stuff. Yeah, exactly. And the two little teeth coming out. It's like Cappy from Fairy Tail. I do all my actions from my pack and split it with Toad. Okay. You all enjoy a hearty breakfast. And, uh... I do not eat. I'm not a fan of breakfast.
One character loves Drek, but the other character hates Drek. Drek has killed his parents. I wake up, I have some sort of a black-collared head. As you do that, Nester's kind of reaching down into his pack that he managed to salvage from the battle. And Jammety, you see her standing there, and she kind of beckons you over away from him and says...
Big fella over there looks like he, you know, he can walk, but I don't think he's in fighting shape. I agree. Should we tell him to stick around here? I mean, yeah, his name's not Strongleg, so I would assume that he can't fight on that thing. He can probably just hang back. Do you think that he can travel at the same speed over land?
I mean, we had to slow an awful lot down to accommodate his bum leg. That's true, that's true. Should we ask him to go back and trust us to find Nora? I mean, if I were him, I probably wouldn't do that. I could maybe work a little bit of the weed magic in order to convince him of that, but I hate to use magic for kinds of family-oriented things like this. I agree. Jammie, did he tell you where he thinks his sister might be?
I think all he said was in the bluff. I mean, he said that he assumed that she was as high as you could fucking get. Where they got those big sons of bitch ogres up there with the titles. We should probably ask him what Nora looks like because all we know is that she's not wide like me.
I feel like if we see some little skimmy groove... She's probably screwed. I slot my thigh. She's not as wide as him. You can hear it from miles away. A thunderous fight, Marzia. She's slotting her thigh. Thunderous fight. Thigh. I gave it up for thunderous fight. Third roll.
That is how thunderous smite is going to happen from now on. Thigh clap. I like this. There you go. Requires a semantic component, right? She won't have as much of a feminine figure as I do. She does this. I throw up nothing because I didn't eat breakfast. She says, if we find some skinny chick over there that's still alive or dead, that's probably fucking her.
That's true. You're probably right. Someone's got to talk to Norbert. So I get up and I start looking towards him. I'll follow behind and chime in if I feel the urge of making a case properly. Okay. I slap him on the back. I don't know which shoulder is wounded, but I'm just like, how you doing? Sorry. Sorry.
you might have felt better after that nap, but no, you're okay. I got hurt. Totally molded by a troll. Yeah, we saved you from that too. No, I appreciate that. No, you're welcome. That's fine. That's all good. So, you know, we talked a little bit about looking for Nora, and you know, we don't really have an idea what we're looking for. So if you wouldn't mind describing her to us so we know what we need to keep an eye out for, that would be good. Oh, I'm
apologize for neglecting she is a little bit taller than you. Most people are. Blonde, very blonde. As blonde as I am, he kind of strokes his mustache that's been cleaned off a bit. And she'll have a very impressive looking longbow if she's still armed.
And she is... If she's still alive, you'll know that by her sour disposition, who she is. What does that mean? I think it's a penis joke, but I'm not sure. LAUGHTER
His sister? Oh, we're talking about his sister. Never mind, darling. Take it off your radar. She might be into that, though. She might be into that. That's fair. No judgement from us. We don't kink check. It's a trap. There's no wrong fun. No wrong fun.
What we've been discussing is if you were to either stay here or tell us where you'll be and make your way, given your injury, I'm not sure you're up to fighting form. And we could save your sister in the same way you saved us.
for a week's AP. I think I can fight-- He reaches out to pull an arrow out of his quiver with his left hand.
MVP. I suppose you're right. Yeah, I'm sorry, that long bow looks like a long no today, I'm sorry. That's a good one, Caprisha, that was good. I laughed a little inside, though, not on the outside. Just work on it a little bit. I thought it was very good, and I think you're right. Can you make a persuasion check, though, real quick?
I need to see exactly how persuasive. 21. You're very persuasive. He looks and he says, I suppose you're right. I would not want to slow you down and get anyone killed or even be responsible for the inability to save Nora, but I don't want to be a coward.
Well, I think the brave choice here is admitting when you are injured and then making your trusting in others. Both of those require a lot of bravery. It's okay to be slow. It's okay. Well, you make a strong case. I suppose I will stay back. I can wait here or I can join you to the bluff and wait down at the base. I'm not the cardinal.
If there was a... I'll slow down as you are making a question. If there was somewhere near the base of the bluff, and Jammie may be able to help us out there, if there was a way we could have you close by so that we could get Nora to you if she was in trouble, great. But if you are only a day away from your keep or wherever your family's from, we could always potentially track her back in that way or send her back once she's safe.
That's always what you do. That's me. That's the dealer's choice. That decision's up to you. It's up to you if you want to walk up this mountainous range here.
I would be fine joining you to the base and finding someplace to hide, maybe an outcropping or a cave. Oh yeah, alright. Do you happen, speaking of that, do you happen to know the difference between an outcropping and a cave? Oh, you're here. Yes, I'm here. Am I here? Is this like happening on the side? That's fine, yeah, sure. It's fun, I'm just here. We can all hear each other. Yeah, we're all like, yeah, we're all, do you happen to know the difference, the technical difference between an outcropping and a cave? Tell me about it.
I think the difference is one is convex and the other one is concave. Because I spent the night in an outcropping but everybody kept calling it a cave and I kept trying to correct them. How can an outcropping be convex? Because it's outside. But they kept calling it a cave. Are they truly the same thing in this continent? If you think about a mountain, look, you have the face of a mountain. A cave is convex, it's inside of the mountain and an outcropping is outside of the mountain.
So I'm going to pretend that means convex. Okay. It's at least more accurate than calling an abracadabra. You've convinced me. Lovely. What a great persuasion check. I'm glad I didn't have to roll. He blinks a few times and he kind of strokes his mustache. He has a mustache now. He's always had a mustache. I like chips. I like chips too. I like chasels.
Does he say I must ask you a question? He shows his mustache a little bit and says I would gladly join you at the base and I would hate to to
to slow all of you down, but I will be here waiting you and if there's anything you need, please let me know. I have a life debt and if there's anything you can do for Nora, my family, the Strongarm line is a strong line of men, rich line of hunters that have hunted giant kin,
for three generations. So, if she dies, does this mean that you are the next in line? Yes, it does, yes. And that would be very unfortunate for your life. I would do anything that I can to save your sister. I appreciate that. If she's still alive, let's cover up that so we don't get looked at. If she is lost, then the strong bow is lost for our family heirloom as well.
You know, with a wisdom of 13, I don't know if I should really be saying this, but what happens if we don't... Yeah. What happens if we don't come back, you know, and he's waiting for us here at the bottom of this outcropping slash cave and...
You know, we tell a sister, you know, go find your brother or whatever, and we got to keep going for your brother, my dad. We're not coming back around these parts. I'm just going to sit here and starve. No, I think it's safe to use judgment. You know what you're doing. You're a hunter. I do. If you have got to go back to town, go back to town. It's fine. I've spent many months out in the wild as a hunter. Well, that's good. We have ways to send word to you. Where could we find you if you head back home?
I... well, home is far away. I would... I would... I will wait here as long as I deem worthy until I hear from you. I'm not going to abandon you. Just so you know, if you see a little bluebird, just don't hunt it. Don't kill it with your bow. It's his bird.
Just so you know. I would never harm a precious bluebird. Am I a monster? That's pretty he. It was just a one. I'm a man of honor and I love cute, cuddly animals. What about a one-eyed frog? Never hurt a cute one unless it was a giant cute one-eyed frog. Then I would hunt it. It's a fairly average-sized one. But my...
Others in my hunting order would hunt those. My line and family specializes in hunting giant kin, vicious, horrific giant beasts. I hate all of them. And you said your family heirloom is called the Strongbow. It is, yes. My sister has it.
And it's very valuable? Yes, it's very valuable to my family. If it was lost, it would be a tragedy. I would not be able to inherit it. Even were she lost. But we'll make sure that you keep an eye out if she is gone. We'll at least look for the stronghold.
Thank you very much. Good call, Toa. You mentioned that you've been in the wilderness for months. How long have you been in the wilderness now, tracking down your sister? I left a week ago. Just a week. Have you seen anyone else, especially a dwarf, in your travels during the last week?
I described Purge's father to the best of my ability, having never known the guy. But I've heard her describe him to multiple people in our journeys, and so I repeat the details that she's shared in front of me.
That's a good question for Britch. I appreciate you. No, that doesn't sound familiar to me, but I've been very narrow-minded and single-focused in my quest to find my sister. Well, I wouldn't say you're narrow-minded. You seem pretty open-minded to me. So what we'll say is we'll meet you at the bottom of the bluff, but we're going to move ahead and get there as quickly as possible and see what we see.
Well, I thank you. I thank all of you. I mean, what fortuitousness to come across you, who are not only willing to save my life, but also the life of my sister. I appreciate that. It's our pleasure. And my entire family owes you a great debt.
Do we have any other questions for Nestor? Or shall we... You don't have a title, do you? You're Mr., right? Not a sir? Whose name is Nestor, darling? Well, I'm asking about his title. Is he a Mr. Strongarm, or is he a Sir Strongarm? No, his name is Nestor Strongarm. You keep calling him Nestor. No, Mr. No, it's Nestor.
Yeah, I know it's Nestor. I'm asking if it's Latin. You know what? Let's forget it. I think it's a T-sign. He seems very confused. He says, well, I'll join you to the base of the bluff. And Jerry goes, can we fucking go now? It's only 8 a.m. and I haven't... I'm not buzzed enough for this. And...
She kind of rounds you all up. And kind of using her weapon. Yeah, yeah! And she's trying to round everybody up and get everyone towards, walking towards the bluff. I hiya-hiya with my flail in her face. Just to try to think it's funny. You can try to be as fast as I am, tiny one, but you ain't gonna come close. No, I just thought it was cool. She adjusts her hat a little bit. She spits and then it hits the spittoon. I spit where she spits.
Making a dexterity check. It's on a 16. 16 actually kind of hits in the same area. Okay, you're fine. You're fine, short stack. You're fine, short stack. Okay. Pancakes over here. So she's... I don't know where those are. We have printing presses in Avengers. Why don't we have pancakes? That's fine. Yeah, you can make cakes in pans. There you go. So...
Nestor joins you, along with Jammity guides you towards the base. You see the looming figure, and you can hear the far-off banging of war drums. As you approach the bluff, and I will switch my music. Oh, shit. As I do. Man, that sounds so much like ZZ Top. It's crazy. Who?
You wouldn't know him. He's from Galtica. Okay. I ain't never been to Galtica. You said he's like, you're just really irritating me. I'd be surprised if you made the journey across the sea. No, I'd get strung up pretty much immediately if I tried it. So I'll stay here in the moors. I'll thank you very much. And so she guides you towards there. She says, okay, well, it's not easily...
find them from here, but I know a pathway up. And I think I know where these frickin' ogre sons of bitches are doing their nefarious business.
So let's take a look. And so as you kind of approach, you see this large looming kind of hook-shaped natural formation. As you start to see kind of the large war band or whatever of ogres and giants and all of their various beasts and the like have all seemed to have coalesced
at this mountain pass, at this break in the mountain range, as if they're all kind of just gathering. And the rumbling of the ground, the slight rumbling that you'd be able to feel if you kind of put your hand on the ground from the motion seems to have stopped considerably. And the loud banging of the drums continues, however. And it seems to be far off. And there is...
However, despite them being far off, there still seems to be the occasional voice kind of shouting off, echoing a lot closer than where this huge army is. And it sounds low and guttural and nasty. You get the sense that there's still some action going on here. Does it sound like that demon thing that we came across? Make our television check.
It's like you're a valkyrie. Or arcana. You can make an arcana check if you want. I'd happily make one. You have no idea what the fuck. Dog, arcana, I have two. You're like this. Sounds like a big scary game. Wow. It sounds big and scary. It sounds guttural. It does. So...
Jammity turns to Nestor and says, "Well, I'm sorry, Mustache, but I think this is the end of the line, at least until we all come back alive. And if we don't, then I guess you go home and you're the heir and you don't get your fancy fucking vogue. But then being killed by ogres, ain't that right?" And Nestor gets a look of distaste for Jammity and says, "Well,
I will wait. He kind of ignores her entire, the thrust of her message. I will wait here for all of you and I will do whatever I can to assist. Hopefully you find your way. Hopefully everything is...
Everything is alright. Okay. Well, slap him on the back again. Hope to feel better, bud. I will be waiting down here. I will go into a final place to hide. And so he walks up. Best of luck to all of you and...
May the Strongarm Family... Strongarm Family Technique find its way to the heart of all of those horrific giant kids. And he walks off. What kind of cryptic bullshit do you think that was? The Strongarm Technique? When he started singing, I thought we were going to get some sort of magical boon and whatnot, but I don't feel any different, so honestly, I have no idea. It's probably just a parting farewell.
You probably hit something in the... Maybe it's just like an arrow in the heart, 'cause it's like... And you're... And me, I'm to blame. I don't use an arrow. And Felix did not do that. He would be the blame. I... I'd say issue with that. I thought that would be... I thought Lifty would be the one... I thought that was one of the songs that you sang to me once. Oh yeah, that was the third song that I did on the set when we were in Kirstine, yeah. I have a fantastic memory.
- I would think that Felix wouldn't be the one to give love a big name. - Well then would you want to have a footy? - He'd have a footy. He might give love a big name. - I got a second that, yeah. - But she wasn't here to defend herself. - Okay, here we fucking go. - Let's go. Can you just lead us there? - Thank you, Chairman, please, thank you. - Hold on, hold on a second. Now I'm not ready. She pulls out a bottle of whiskey.
Okay, now, and she leads you. I pull out my flask. It's probably empty at this point after three days. Hey, Jandy, can you top a guy off? What are you going to do for it, skinny? I mean, we saved your life.
And we got you two casks of the stuff. I'm risking my fucking skin. How about you sing a song for me there, music boy? Dance for me, puppet! Uh, yeah, I'll sing, uh, um... Uh...
Bugbear, Bugbear, drinking up her whiskey, Bugbear. Bugbear, Bugbear, she loves her whiskey, Bugbear. Janity's insane, but she knows how to use a whip. She's gonna cut into the combat, and then you're gonna scream, holy fucking shit. Ha ha ha!
Make a performance check for me. Oh, good. That was kind of good. Well, I'm low. That was good. That was good. Yeah, that's going to be a...
28, 26. Okay, I like you, creepy eyes. She takes your flask and gives you a little bump. She fills it up to the brim with whiskey and she hands it over. My pleasure, thank you. Our bard, ladies and gentlemen, our bard. Our bard, yeah. Capricci, Capricci. Gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up. You...
Uh, Jamie starts leading you up and around and says, Well, I have a feeling like they, uh, like there's something off here. There should be a lot more of these fuckers crawling around this place. I don't know why. Is it because they're all over in that fucking, that fucking meeting place or something? This is...
This is putting me a little bit on edge and as you kind of realize you're walking up and up and you're starting to notice the elevation change as you're walking through kind of crag and there's the occasional shrubbery and bush there's the occasional tree as it starts to get a little bit higher in elevation but it's not like heavily forested at all and you are made you make your way higher and higher and it starts to get to a point where there's a cliff face
and it seems to be this winding, very narrow pathway where it seems like-- I guess it's not that narrow, but it's a path that just winds upwards. It's along the side of the bluff, and Jamie looks around and says, "Well, it looks like we're going to be a little bit exposed."
Well, um, John, you brought me with whiskey and beer.
I think the fastest way is the best. I don't think we have time to really mess around here. We should be as sneaky as we can, but I don't want to take hours or...
or a half a day extra time to find another route. So I think just straight up is the easiest way. - Well, let's just beeline then. - Agreed. - So, Gemini, just real quick, you said that there's usually more of them. You mean like this place is usually crawling with giants and things?
That was my fucking understanding of these ogres and giants and they do some weird shit. They take the folk. I mean, I told you that smelly fucking netting was planning on taking me here and bringing me up to the top and them doing something with me. I'm glad until y'all arrived.
I don't pretend to know what they was trying. So it sounds like we need to get to the top. Agreed. So let's just take us to the top as fast as we can. Okay. And just keep an eye out. We'll all be as stealthy as we can. Well, okay. And so she, as you're making your way through, you start... We're stealing. Oh, let's get a group step. Let's steal. Yeah. Natty 20, but at a small disadvantage.
17. Oh shit, nice. What the hell am I rolling for? Stealth. I got a 15. What the fuck does that even mean? Stealth. When you steal. 19.
Fifteen. Fifteen the same. Shit. Ten. Fourteen. Fourteen, okay. Ten for me, for Tyler. Okay. So, you're making your way, you're kind of sticking along the cliff side, and just kind of winding up and up and up. As you're gaining elevation, you're making your way through, and you start to kind of see high above flying that these
similar to the little specks far off in the distance that you'd seen, you start to see kind of dots in the sky above you. Ships of wings. Birds that seem to be
You've seen plenty of eagles and vultures and obviously ravens flying around. And these seem to be, rather than the familiar darks, blacks and browns of these birds, these birds flying above you have this bright blood red coloring to their feathers. They seem to be flying all around. And you realize as you're looking up that there seems to be a circling
of these birds at the top of Birch's Bluff.
Do they look like the same birds we spotted earlier? Make a nature check. Nature? Is that cocks? No, that's fine. Nine. Nine. It's hard for you to tell. It's very far off. The other birds. Are we still going up a path or starting to show buildings? It's a pathway. So there's no walls. There's no buildings. You're going up along the side of this cleft. Hey, Felix?
Can your bird convey information with and to and from other birds? I don't think so. Out of character, I don't think so. Um...
So you can't go up and be like, "Hey, what's the carrion meal for the day?" No, no, it doesn't quite work like that. I'm sorry. You know, I just thought I'd ask. No, it's always a good question. It's valid, perfectly valid. If you have any musical questions, ask me. I just thought I'd, you know, it's fine. He's the bird guy. That's a fair question. Yeah, I think that's fine. I mean, all I know how to do is flip the bird, so that's it. Fair enough. I'll get back to you if I have any musical questions. Thank you. Papoochie, if you're a bird, I'm a bird.
We're both birds? Yeah. Okay. That was cryptic. You know, they have some weird thing going on. I don't question it. They probably look at us and say, we have a weird thing too. We have a weird thing? We're just best friends. They're probably jealous. I think that they're not best friends. I don't know what that is. Anyway.
I don't judge, you know, I don't judge. There's no peak shame in this party. So, you continue. And as you're making your way, I would like a group perception check, please. Oh, shit. Oh, man, I'm so great at those. Oh, I finally have a character who's decent at perception. Shit. I got an eight. I got an eight. Nine. 23. A lot of nines. What do you get, Kirti? Oh, 15. 15.
So who got over a 20? Two. Fortunately. Oh, Jammity. Oh, Jammity. She's mid-swig as both of you notice the padding of footsteps. And it sounds like there's something kind of rustling in the bushes above you.
Real quick. So you're walking up this path and it's going to curve around and kind of go up. So you're on a winding mountain path upwards. And there's kind of bushes and shrubbery all along. Both of you, everyone else is totally oblivious. And you notice that there's some rustling in the bushes up above. So on the path as we go up. Up above you. Above us. Do I see him noticing that? Both of you notice it. But do I see him also noticing as I...
I see that and I, do I see your head turn? Yeah. Oh, gosh, do you hear, I think there's footsteps up there. I just, yeah. Do you hear that? Do you really hear that? I look down at Dakota. Is she giving me any sort of warning signs of shit within 30 feet? Is that how that works? Yeah. Well. I can't be alarmed. I can't be surprised. Okay. For people within 30 feet. Okay, so, um.
it is, you don't immediately hear that, but as soon as you do that, you hear a loud, low growl. And all of a sudden, two large shapes leap out from directly above you on either side of the party. They are large, hairy, feline, frothing, huge,
huge two front fangs coming down and they both let out this lion roar and everyone will finish it. - Daytime Dracula! - Can I run up real quick, like as I see them, I wanna run up and I say, "I wanna view Nora!" And I just wait there patiently for an answer.
The large, seemingly saber-toothed type creature, tiger, saber-toothed lion creature, looks at you and goes, "Raaah!" And is going to leap in and try to attack you. And with that, I'm going to put on my combat music here. 99 songs, what do you get out of 100, maybe? 20 to 25. 21. 15 to 20? 15 to 20?
Oh, I got a 20. 20? 10 to 15.
Oh man, it's cold in here. Five to ten. I got this, guys. Nine. Eight. Seven. Holy shit, Felix is the one. So nine, can I go first? Eight, who got eight? Eight, I'll go first. Toa's going first, then Iris. What occurs again? Seven. Are you up? I have advantage on initiative. I'm going to use the restroom. I'm going to go after my turn. I need to go. I have a million years until my turn, so I'm going to make you do it. No.
Okay, so two massive Catholic feline creatures slam down and
They are ready to strike, but unfortunately, thanks to Toa and Caprice, you are not surprised. Everyone's world for initiative. Caprice, you're up. I'll turn around and I'll just hand crossbow number two. Okay.
That's not going to hit, and it's going to be a good 8 to hit. With a bonus action, I'll do nothing. I'm just going to be like, "Behind you! Behind you! Behind!" He fails his crossbow, he stutters, and then passes his turn, Lufty, you're up. Okay, so I'm on dead-- how tough is this?
How tight is it? Can we pass by each other? I would say you could pass by each other, yeah. It's narrow, but these are large fucking beasts and they're able to land on these panels. You're like three feet away from me. I take a lot of space. We're like half a foot wide. I'm going to move towards number one and just because it's tight quarters, I'm going to make a
Thanks, guys. 23 hit. It hits. Eight damage. Eight damage to number one or two? Number one, and I'll use my brain as a attack. You fling up your knee, hitting it in the face. I'm going to move and you strike me. Easy guts claws, and I'll scratch you. Okay.
Oh, that was a critical fail. Okay. Anytime I use the tagline, it fails. You try to scratch it, and then it takes a massive ball with these enormous razor-sharp claws and just bats you out of the way. Oh, no. It just, like, knocks you out of the way. Okay, well, it's their turn. So... Oh, shit, really? Oh.
And so as they're leaping down, one is going to try to pounce onto you, Felix. The other one is going...
in my spell book. The other one is going to attempt to pounce onto Felix. I mean, onto Toa. Rich, do you want to do the camera? Oh. So this is the one that you asked if it was Nora. And it is going to pounce on you. Hopefully we have range here. There we go. We got enough slack. So one on Felix is going to hit. I'm going to use my reaction to cast shield. Okay, so it is going to be
25. What's your AC with shield? Oh shit, not that high. Not that high. It only adds five, so it's 18. 18. So it's still, the shield goes up. It's the last, though. Oh, so that was my, okay. We can talk later. I guess it doesn't matter. I don't know the number, right, before I decide whether to cast shield. I just know it's a hit. Yes. Okay.
Yes. So it pounces. Right, you wouldn't have known. It pounces. Your shield goes up, but it's too late. This crack pounces on you. It is going to hit you. Now, Felix. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
Doing 14 points of slashing damage and it pounces on you. You need to make a saving throw. Strength saving throw. Hold up, I can't add here. 14. That's my new HP. Look at that. Strength saving throw. Oh, Jesus almighty.
A nine! A nine! You are not prone, this cat is over you, it takes the opportunity to then use, just to get a free bite attack on you, it's going to attempt to bite you as it-- Believe me, the phrase is "ah." This is going to hit you! Oh no!
Is it a crit because he's prone? No, prone is a damage. Sorry, I'm trying to kill you, obviously. Clearly. No, she wants to help you. Sorry, I'm already doing eight points of piercing damage as you feel these fangs. Blood goes everywhere. And then
It slices you, pounces you down, you fall back to the ground and this cat is over you. You are fucked. The other one is when it pounces and tries to make Toa after Toa is asking that question. It is going to attack. That is also going to be a hit. I'm going to impose this advantage with my shield master. Okay, are you able to do that? Yes. Fucking worthless shield.
I wasn't within five feet. 17. Was there a C to it? 17. It still barely hits. You pull on your shield. The cat still managed to go in. That deals 13 points of slashing damage. I would like to use my Stone's Endurance to mitigate that. Okay, the claw...
but it slices in and your skin turns to... The skin turns to stone to reduce the damage as it slices... How much? 13 you said? 13. Strength saving throw. What's the damage? Strength saving throw. Okay, so it reduces the damage by 6, so I take 7. Oh no, 7 going in. Better than nothing.
So hold on. It's taking my damage. What am I waiting for? And then strength saving throw should be pretty good. 20, like, 6. Yeah, so it tries to knock you down from the pounce, but you manage to heave this huge cat. It bounces back. It is not going to free bite you. Can I cast spells while I'm prone myself? Yeah.
I am going to panic, obviously, and cast mirror image on myself. Okay. So while I'm underneath this cat, I'm just going to reach into my coat and curl up. And then all of a sudden, three images of me appear around, but it's all blurry and shifting and moving. Okay. So three images of?
Felix kind of appear as magic. So there's four of me now. Yeah, there's four of you and you're able to use your movement to stand up. Yeah, I'd like to do that. So you use your full movement to stand, or half of your movement to stand up and you do that. So Felix is no longer prone. Am I able to move away? No.
and take an attack of opportunity you could if you would like to yeah uh i'm gonna do that okay i'm gonna run okay i can you have uh so yeah as many spaces i can actually don't have to i'm still engaged so it's fine and just wrap around the middle yeah it's fine move me the way you did five ten fifteen perfect yeah i'm just i don't take him okay okay uh so uh jamie's up she's gonna see the one in the front and said like oh
I was not expecting this. And she's going to do an attack roll, and that's going to hit. She is going to sneak attack. It's hot. Dang, not bad. And she does a healthy amount of damage. Okay, it is as soon as you are doing all this, you realize you hear a loud thunk, thunk.
and all of a sudden two massive crossbow bolts, massive bolts that are larger than you've ever seen probably, almost ballista bolts fly at you as you hear and two massive ogres are standing on
on the ridge ahead with these huge crossbows that look like almost the size of ballistas as they're firing into you and um i will place them well this is gonna be fun these overs fire down at you are they are they here uh yeah
One is going to be a Persia, the other is going to be a Caprice. They're two in the middle. What's happening? Persia, we got a bolt at you. That's going to miss. As you miss, a massive bolt. No one's going to push back. You see these ogres are large and plump. They have this hair, long
long black mustaches hanging down, kind of like these long goatee-like beards. And they have these thick black eyebrows and their mouths are filled with these rows of teeth. And against Caprice, it's gonna be a natural 20.
- You love critting me. - I don't know, I'm sorry. - All of a sudden the monster's turning on me. - As the bolt hits Caprice. - Not yet. - It hits him full on directly in the chest and that is gonna do, probably won't roll max damage or anything. - I'm on level four. - If I'm gonna get critted it might as well be the final side of this side of the remaster. That's delightful.
Five, six, five, six,
27 points of piercing damage as the bolt hits you dead on. Wow. Ah, fuck! That would've killed me. You see Caprice get fucking chucked. You've been one-shot. Yeah, one-tap in the face. As this massive bolt hits you and you hear this ogre and then he loads the-- as they both restart reloading. I have a question. I'm sorry.
We have new restrictions regarding casting spells and casting spells as bonus actions. Yes, we do not do that. We do not do that. Well, as long as one is a cantrip. You can't cast two spells. The rules is written, you cannot cast two spells in a single turn. But I can cast a spell and a firebolt. Yeah, every fucking turn. Yes, as long as one is a... Well, no, no, no, no.
As long as one's a bonus action, one's an action. Right. That's all. You could do a bonus action spell, firebolt. Bonus action spell, firebolt, every turn. But one has to be a cantrip. Firebolt is a cantrip. Yeah, but you can't do a second level for your action and then a first level for your bonus action. Totally. So like, I couldn't cast like-- But I've been missing like so much damage then. I had no idea. I've done it one time. Well, now we know. Fuck. Felix is smaller now.
Only if it caught-- but you can't, like, do an action in an action twice, right? Like, it has to-- the spell has to catch up with it. I just assumed that actually-- I'm gonna move you over to the left. The game trip was the action. Oh, it is. It is. So Firebolt and Connection. So some are bonus action. So, like, Feeling Word. How do I know? Does it say? Feeling Word is a bonus action. Yeah, okay. Okay. Then it's probably not a bonus action. Um, I am going to-- seeing Felix is completely shrewd. I'm going to...
- I'm gonna turn around, feel it! And then turn around, I'm gonna rush to the other one. First I'm gonna tribal battle stance, battle trance. - Battle trance? - Yep. - You're gonna attack number two, you get four if he misses. - There's one you should be. - Here? - There. - So then I probably have to attack number one. - Is this good? - Yep, so I'm going to attack number two. - Yep. - Oh, 18. - 18, okay, so 18.
18. That does hit. Roll for damage. Two, three...
Eight damage. But he's marked by my ancestors. Two to eight damage? Eight damage. So you smash the crack against the shoulder of the girl. As, once again, you see the shimmering forms of Toad's ancestors kind of like distracting this picture. Okay, it is our turn. I'm going to look over at Caprice. Damn, God, you did that?
I have thing to the chest and I'm gonna cast sanctuary on him as my bonus action.
Okay. And then I'm going to look at the thing that was attacking him. Was it one or two? Can we see them? Number two hit him. And we can see them? Yes, but you see these large ogres with these massive crossbows. And I am going to cast Pull the Dead. Okay. Number two. Okay, he's not dead. And it's wisdom. So there we go. He is 14. Okay. Two. Two.
One point of damage. One point of damage. He is now damaged. He kind of like goes, and continues to reload at number two, right? Yeah. One point of damage on number two. And with that, Iris turns up. You see a shimmering, kind of almost like a sarcophagus form around Caprice, shimmering and then kind of fading. You see the remainder of that shimmering magic protecting him. And then with that, it is her turn. Taking a look at the...
- Slope and find me, do I look like it's climbable? - It does look climbable. Yeah, you feel like it would require an athletics check potentially, but you could attempt to scale the wall, yes. - I'd like to scale the wall. - Okay, make an athletics check. - 12. - 12. You manage to climb your way up about halfway. - Oh yeah, my apologies.
And then you realize, oh no no no no no, and you slide back down, unfortunately. Oh no. And you still have half of your movement. Should I try again? I would say you wouldn't be able to use your full movement to get up there. Could you get halfway and end her turn there? You could try to get halfway. I saw my action. Yeah. Could I use my action and half my movement to try to get up? I would say that that would be fine. To dash, yeah. Yeah, to dash, yeah, for sure.
There we go, 22. 22, you scale, you slide that down, you see her slide back down, then she kind of steals her dorm body, and she climbs all the way up, and you are now in between these massive ogres reloading their ballistas. Okay, and then bonus action, going to cast...
Thunder Smite. Decoder. You hear the thigh clap. Oh, yeah. The thigh clap. And the thunder thighs energize the prize. So canonically, are her just thighs, like you clap them together? She does this. I'm actually going to change that on my spell sheet to thunderous thighs. And in the distance, you hear an anvil, like a hammerhead of an anvil. For 300 feet, you do
- Just sat on his thigh clapping on a name. - Great through pain in the back of Caprice's mind. ♪ Thunderfly ♪ And you hear this ringing out and you're that same thunderous energy of East Dakota. Okay, with that it is Caprice's turn.
Does anybody have a potion? Oh my god, what the fuck? I'm gonna look at, well, was it number one or number two that critted me? Number two. Number two? Um, I'm going to, uh, pull out my viol and I'm going to start to, uh, play. Uh, it's an off-key, very strange, uh, tune. Um, and I'm whispering. I'm whispering an infernalist is happening. I'm casting Phantasmal Force. Oh, shit! It's gonna need to, uh, take a, uh,
Let's do a intelligence saving throw. Gets a six. All right.
I create an image of whatever it sees, this phantasmal force. Its teeth fall out of its mouth. And all of a sudden, like tiny horses, the four little tiny points of these teeth start gracing up it and growing mouths start chomping and biting at its neck. That's fucked up, man. Who hurt you? He did. He hit me a lot. Jesus. We should talk about this on the stream, man. We got some more resolvation. We got one more.
None of you can see what is only Caprice in his mind and this ogre in his mind. He just looks up, "It's like my nightmares!" He starts swatting at his body. It takes 1d6 psychic damage, which I'll do now. I'm pretty sure he runs away. It takes 5 psychic damage. To number two? Yes, and...
That'll be for the next minute. Wow. Doesn't he run away? No, you're thinking of Dissonant Whispers. Okay. So...
He's slamming himself. He's frightened? I don't know. An affected target is so convinced of the phantasm's reality that it can even take damage from the illusion. A phantasm created to appear as a creature can attack the target. Each round on your turn, the phantasm... So he just gets hit. He's like... Oh, he gets hit by the phantasm. By the T-forces. He still finishes reloading. That's horrible, too. I'm going to have that nightmare tonight. Who's up?
Oh, it's a me. It's a you? It's a me. Okay. I'm gonna try to-- I can make your thighs clap. I can make your thighs clap. I would like to try to jump up and like, plant my foot right in the cat's face and like, kind of go over the top of him. Okay. 18. I get hitched.
That is eight damage. Eight damage. You leap up, smacking your-- you do like the Super Smash Brothers, the look he has. She does the head hop and just smashes the face. And then you leap over to the other side using however much movement it would take to get around it. But you are able to get over it. Taking eight damage to number-- what number of cat is that? Number one.
Are you on the other side of it? Yeah, on the other side. And then as a bonus action, I would like to pull his tail really hard. Not that I'm on the other side.
That is... You're like soloing that cat. Yeah. That's a no for me, dog. That's a no for me, dog. That's a yikes for me, dog. Yikes. Okay. Now that is epic. Okay, that attack is epic.
Six damage to the tail point. You own the cats. Six damage to number one as well, right? Yes. Make sure when you kill the cat you eat it into a bush. And then say "exercise." You see Loaty, short hop on top of the cat, bounce over and go "ooh-ooh!" And then you hear a "bwaaah!"
We say, "We already have a kitty in our party, thank you." She got drunk and did that to me once. I'm sure she did. Immediately the cat turns towards you, like, very angry after you yank its tail. And we are going-- I don't think they have multi-attack. They do not. Unless they knock you down and bite your face off.
And it's like you're able to dodge out of the way look deep then Who is the last one to attack it? It was definitely toe up. So toe and look you're always thinking I
11 plus-- Thank you very much, guys. 17s does hit. I keep rolling 17s against you. Is that high? It's high, yeah. Oh, golly, sorry, man. 14 points of slashing damage. It's halved, though, guys. It's halved. So is it your resolve in your battle, your tribal trance, man, you don't feel quite--
You're just seeing this cat is tearing into Toa's flesh. And with that, it is Felix's turn. Okay. I'm immediately going to back the fuck up and take an attack of opportunity. How far do you want to go? Like over here? Can I go 400 feet? Because that's how far I'd like to go. No, that's good. Thank you. He's disadvantaged. So we'll hold up. Why is he disadvantaged? Because he's marked by my attack. Okay.
- Well no, okay, so I have my mirror images up. - Oh. - So what happens is I, each time a creature targets you with an attack during the spell's duration, one minute, I roll a d20 to determine whether the attack instead targets one of the duplicates. If I have three duplicates, which I still have, all I have to do is roll a six or higher to change the attack to a duplicate and then one of them poofs. - There you go. - And then it gets harder and harder each time to redirect the attack. - So roll a d20.
16, so one of my mirror images bursts. So you see this cat, it's sure that it's going to hit, and it slices, and it's one of the spirit felixes disappears. Are we rapid-falling? Yeah, we're rapid-falling. Okay, I'm going to down my greater healing potion. Okay, you drink your greater healing potion. Not last time. From Boonmaster Gruber. He really will.
I thought we all got pots. You got two pots. I have a healing and a greater, but I'm down with the greater. One was from the Etten. There was a creative potion from the Etten. It also grew. So there were two graders that you got last recession. Oh, I have just healing and greater. So I wrote them down. Oh, maybe it was the healing. I know what I've got. So I'll roll the healing potion after my turn. So then I'm going to use...
Flaming sphere okay, I'm gonna draw you a mean sphere on the other side of Toa basically like like like on the edges on your coat extend your hand feels your finger and then a little closer to me one up and
One towards me? Sorry, my, yeah, perfect. And it doesn't do anything the turn that I drop it, so that's gonna be my turn. So a spear, it creates in your hand and flies over to where you placed it right behind the cat, and with your hand in your coat, and it is ready to do some business, and it appears right there. Doesn't it automatically trigger? It's if they end their turn.
So it won't do anything until my next turn or the end of turn. Yeah, and so with that, it's Jambly's turn. Jambly's like, "Okay, I got this one." And she is going to bullwhip it. Let's see if she can miss. And she can. Wow, I rolled really well for her. She's rolling on number one, and she is going to... Oops.
Okay, so she, the bullwhip cracks and hits the, you see a large wound, there's actually blood dripping from where the bullwhip hit the creature. And with that, actually, let me just do this damage real quick on number one. Okay.
It takes a number one and then it is their turn. So they finally reloaded. The one that's up there is going to turn to you, Herja, that is not in melee range of you and just shoot the bolt at you. The other one is going to shoot down at... Who's going to shoot down?
It is going to shoot down a Jammity 'cause it just attacked the cat. - It's not disadvantage if I'm within five feet of them, it's only if they're attacking me? - So the one that you're next to is shooting down you. - Okay. - So this one that's shooting Jammity just misses. She made this, yeah, that was a close one. And then the one that's going to shoot you, Herja, that is going to hit.
So that is going to deal, I apologize in advance for this. 24 points of piercing damage, and hits into you. You try to block it, but it is too late, and you're unable to do that. And so with that, it is Cholo's turn.
How's the cat looking? He's looking, he's covered in blood, certainly, but not like super injured. Okay, which one? Number one is. Number two's looking pretty decent. That's the one I'm on. Shit. Okay, I'll stay there. I will attack again. 20-something. Okay.
12 damage. 12 damage, okay. 12 damage, number two? Number two, yeah. So you swing your ball, and you hear a lot of crack as the shoulder slumps forward, and it does a good amount of damage. With that, it is our turn. I am going to...
How does everybody look? Like, would I be able to look around and see that-- You would be able to easily-- I would say any cleric can look around the party and gauge how wounded people are. So I'm going to lift my hand to the sky and call forth the rains of the desert to refresh and renew my allies.
Lord of the Scales, it is not their time and I'm going to cast, um, her appealing. Okay. And anyone within 30 feet of me
So I'm gonna move like right here-ish, I believe. What's the cast out on the third appeal? For a pleasing day. For ten minutes. Oh, that's a good point. I forgot about that. Whatever, I'll do it for ten minutes. I'm not gonna do anything else. I'll do it for ten minutes and you're just gonna be writing heels. You say ten minutes and then it's then heels, so are you sure you don't wanna use-- it's original, right? Or no? It just passed. No.
It says it is, no, it's instantaneous, but it takes 10 minutes to do. So everyone heals, I'm just gonna have to, I'm doing it for 10 minutes. Well, we heal at the end of the 10 minutes. So duration is instantaneous and casting time is 10 minutes. So it's time to do it. So I'm gonna do that. So you start channeling, praying to a new vessel. And so with that, it's her turn. Okay. Uh,
Persia is gonna move around this way get behind number one. Let's see if this works. I'm gonna try and use my flail attack on it. Eight. You have inspiration. Oh, I do have inspiration! Okay, I'm gonna use it. Yeah! Not natural 20. Okay, so...
Because I have Thunder and Smite. You have Thunder and Smite on it, yep. So... Thunder Thighs. Thunder Thighs. So it's going to take seven points of bludgeoning. Thunder Thighs. Three Thunder Thighs damage, and then it has to make a strength saving throw. How much damage does it take total, by the way? Oh, three and...
To number two. To number two. To number one. So ten to number one. So ten to number one. You smash Dakota into it. You do the angle, the anvil hitting, the hammer hitting the anvil and thunder rings out and I need to make a straight saving throw. Yes, DC 12. And I get three plus... Yeah, no, I'm good. Okay, so as it makes contact, I want to also kick it and say, this is Dakota!
And I want to kick it down the hill. As far as possible. So you hear a and as soon as she hits, you hear a lot of crack of thunder. The kick hits. The oar's like and he falls backwards, falling down. I need Jammity and Just Jammity to make a sexy pink drone. And she just effortlessly dodges out of the way. How much more does
- I'm gonna do this next time you fuckin' do that! And it is going to hit and take this much damage. Oh wow. - Let's go! - Let's go, let's go! - Yeah! - Let's do this. - As the ogre lands a lot of crud, a lot of thud, and let's see if he is going to, he's gonna fail and he is now pro.
So with that, it's pretty nice. Hell yeah. Do you-- Oh, I have movement still, sorry. How many greater healing potions do we have? One. One a piece, I believe. Not two? No, I think it was one regular and one greater. Maybe three, so you could do that. If you use two boxes-- I can do that? If we all got the same thing, then yes. I wrote down one regular and one greater. Then yeah. I can do that. Can I get-- I don't recall what we all got. You were there. Here?
Okay, I wanna add... You already went 5, 10, 17.5. So you have one more diagonal. I'll just do that. And then...
Yeah, I'll save my bonus after. I am chugging that Greater Healing Potion. Like, I've never chugged that Greater Healing Potion before. How much does that do? 4d4. I don't even want! Oh, we have 2d4s over here if you want to use them. Don't use those, they're horrible. They roll horribly. Maybe you want to.
Three, it's got three. There you go. Got him for funsies. That's going to be a ten and 14 points of damage. 14 points. You chug a potion, Priest, and you're feeling a little bit better. That does feel better. Then I'm going to, looking down at the ogre that just fell down onto my feet, I'm going to stab it with my pokey stick, and I have advantage because it's prone. Thank god.
That's going to be a 15 to hit. That does hit. Okay, and that's going to be a 12 points of piercing damage. And...
That's going to be three points of teeth biting damage to number two from Diffident Whispers. Okay, so number two is like, "Argh, he's still biting off the teeth!" Damn teeth, horses! I mean, never look at a tooth in a horse, you know? Wait. Look to your left. Close enough, yeah.
Kitty just tried to bite me, so I'm going to smack it on its snoot and say, and then I'll follow it up with bonus action and Fury of Blows for four smacks total. Oh, girl. That's powerful.
Holy shit. That's a nine and a 14. 17 and a 15? You gotta boot the shit. Yeah, let's hit. Okay, so I got three hits. You can boot this. You're just unleashing your fists on the staff.
Where'd the lightning lips come from? With the E, it's like the lights are themselves illuminating, like lightening. But without the E, it's lightning. 23 damage. Lightning lips. 23 damage. On the cat. To number one. Which one we got? To number one.
And then, drunken technique, I will disengage. Oh baby. And run. 8,000 feet away. You're always my advantage at the party. So hold on, you just go and the cat, you're just on its fucking skull, just bashing it, and his eyes roll back and collapse it down. It's not easy. What a pussy. So you need to disengage. Okay, so then I have, so.
- Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 25, 50, 'cause I get plus 10 speed for the drunken, and then I'll... - That's nuts, nuts. Okay. - Drunken. - You just bring out Mute, the cat is going to attempt to pound its toe again. Actually, you can't do that, because it's not moving, so it's gonna claw its open head. - You can tap on the touch.
Because it drops sanctuary attacks, I just want to make sure. Six plus five is 11 points of slashing damage.
Thank you. And that's all the cat can do. And so with that, it is Felix's turn. Oh, so it ended its turn in the conjuration, sorry. So it will have to, as soon as I click on a thing, take 2d6 fire damage on a failed save. So it's a dexterity save at the end of your turn. That's a 16.
Dex 15, so you're good. Okay. Meteor beat, so you don't take that. Oh, and half as much on a successful one. Okay, so you still take... The dodge is out of most of these. You still take... It's seven rounded, half rounded down is three. It's rounded down, correct? So three points of damage then. Okay. So then for my turn, what I'm going to do is just cast a fire bolt at it. Fire bolt! Uh...
- 13. - 13, okay. That does hit, yep. - Oh wow. One, two, 10.
Okay. You do little pukes. Okay. Felix jammed it up. Bang, bang! She's going to turn around and do the bonus action disengage, just all flip around the cat out of melee range. She's going to use her whip and crack at this bad boy. Let's see if that'll do. And advantage melee. What? Advantage because he's prone. Oh yeah, let's see if she gets a natural 20.
She does not, unfortunately. Oh, not too much damage. But she cracks into it. He does get sneak attack. He's going to...
He's going to... Yeah, he'll just do that, man. He'll just shoot you with a bolt at disadvantage, because, you know... Naturally. Over. And that still hits. Oh, gosh. And you cut away your shield over time, and it is too late. Oh, not too much. Oh.
Inuit chat, we're 22 away from the giveaway. Oh snap! So tell your friends, we're getting close. Oh man. 12 points of piercing damage, the bolt hits into you. And that's all he can do. We're here all night. Soa's turn. I will attack with my maul. 19.
Let's go to the ball! I roll one of my d6's. So, J! 11 damage. 11 damage to number-- Oh, Retro! What?! All his friends are in Maryland. Hey guys, we're in Maryland! I wonder who he meets. I wonder who he's talking about. I was gonna say, that's not right. Oh, the ogre lifts himself up, so you're not advantaged. What?
The yogurt that's on the ground is-- Oh, you're talking to the cat. No, I'm talking to the cat. Okay. So you smash your mole into it. This guy's closer to the field. You hear a loud crack as your mole slams into it. You're looking very, very weak as you do that. Iris, you're still-- I wonder who did Nikki's hair. It's so nice, right? If anyone really loves my hair and you happen to be in the PA area, that stands for-- Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania, thank you. I was going to say Philadelphia, which is the city there.
Retra is an amazing person to go to for beautifully colored hair. Yeah, get your hair done. He's a pro. Yeah, he really is. He's great. And it does not feel like it's been dyed. It's amazing. I love it. You can sleep with it. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. It actually doesn't feel like a corn husk. This is the kind of hair that literally had to be clothed. Best compliment I can give. I'm going to give mine back. With that, it's Hershey's turn. Bright pink. Ah.
Cool. Persia's gonna whip around. Wow. Stand on this side. Flail attack. You swing into Koda. Uh,
17. Gonna make that a Divine Smite, first level. Boom. So that's gonna be-- Oh jeez there, Abe. Oh jeez. Three Bludgeoning. Divine Flap. And seven Radiant. So you channel power on Morrigan and whoosh, you're up.
flail kind of glows with this molten metal and it hits, it kind of singes into the gut of this ogre and it does a good amount of damage. - I will use my bonus action to attempt to shove it. - Okay.
So that is a contest. Stop sending them down here! 24. Fuck. Oh, fuck! 22! Close! Damn. These guys are strong. They're strong. That's all right. Don't feel bad. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. So he managed to stand strong as we attempt to shove him, but it's not enough. With that, it is your turn. Oh! It's a donkey.
There's a giant ogre standing up next to you with a mistletoe. Is he standing now? I don't care for that. I don't care for it. I'll boop him with some thunder waves, see if I can get him away from me. I'm just gonna... First of all,
That's packed, so nice roll. Four points of teeth force damage to your boy. To which guy? Number two. And then I will kaboom the five. He has to make a, that's going to be at level one. Is this guy going to take a spirit damage?
Has this guy been taking sphere damage? No, it's only at the end of their turn. He has to make a composition saving throw. I'm sure it's going to be fine. But if he beats 15... He does not beat 15. Oh, fantastic! He's going to take...
Seven plus six is 13 damage and he gets knocked back 10 feet. - Number one? - Yep. - How much damage, 13? - Yep. Of the thunder variety. - Okay, once again.
What ability is that? That was my Thunder Wave. Thunder Wave, you want to get into the brang, and you hear the power cord, and it knocks it. Wait, he takes the damage, I need to do a saving throw. He gets knocked into a dead feline. And he fails, and he gets knocked into a dead feline, he stumbles back ten feet. That was fun. Nice. With that, it's the looking turn. I'm going to pull out the spoon and just charge at him. Number two.
Number two over. - 26 to hit. - 11 damage, and then I'll follow that up with a knee to the groin. - Okay. - Wherever his groin may be. 15. - Yes!
The most epic battle music of all time. 16. Get out of my face. Oh, so good. Okay, you hit him in the face, knee him in the gourd, and go, huh?
As you hit this ogre, he almost drops his crossbow, but he's holding on. With that, it is Cat's turn. He's looking very wounded, but he is almost as if he is being compelled by this ogre to attack. He's going to attempt to
Claw you. Claw Toa? Five, he misses as he does this. He misses his claw attack, and then that's all he can do. Toa, you're up. Wait, no, hold on. So, dex saving throw? Dex saving throw, 14. That's a fail, you'll take six points of damage. As it fails, you hear a
As the flames here spin and it's ferdinates on fire and it's cooked alive and falls down. Nice! So now from where the sphere currently is, is it more or less than 30 feet to that odor? More.
Oh, wait, for that ogre? No. Straight ahead. No, no, no, no, that ogre's fine, right? Three, four, five, six. It would land in her space. Yeah, you can get into the jam. But then she would also get hurt if she ended her turn there. But you could end it literally, because it was here, five, 10, 15, 20, 27.5. That's not good, I can't do that. You'll get cooked alive. Well, technically, let's just think three-dimensionally, technically you can go one. No, no, I mean...
No, correct. It can move up five feet. That's true. I'm saying that if anybody ends their turn near it, they'll get hurt a lot. Well, you can. Five. You could literally go... It can jump over objects five feet tall. That's what it says. Oh, so it can't go up 20 feet? No, no. It can jump over obstacles five feet tall, and it can jump gaps 10 feet wide. You can put it in Janity's spot. No, I think I'm going to actually do...
is move it 30 feet up the wall, basically. Just put it 30 feet up there. And move it, so yeah, three up and then go three over. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, cool. One, two, three, yeah. We're at Derek's point. It's close enough. This is closer. Are you trying to get to that? Eventually. It can only go so far, so it's good right there. And then I'm going to firebolt the one that's closest to Jammity.
Yeah, can you kill him, please? Trying. No, I can't, 10. 10 to number two? No, like the ogre that's-- Oh! Okay, so Jammie swings at number two, doing a number of damage here. Sorry, I wasn't thinking. To number two, Zafnir. Did I go? Did you?
You did go, right? Well, hold on, I just went. So now it's Jammety. Okay, good, we're good. She's attacking number one, she does some damage here. Oh, how much is this? Almost.
Almost. She hooks the boy up, rips Ren's flesh, and he's looking very weak. Meanwhile, it is their turn, and he is going to turn and once again shoot his bolt at Jiminy because he's the last one to do it.
and he's gonna mist flies off this cliff and doesn't do anything. This one is going to, because her has been the one that's been fucking with him, he is going to attack and disadvantage. And that's going to be...
13 misses. And you miss to block it with your shield. They both miss, and now it's your turn. Send me straight over to the over that's down there. And I am going to attack, else I lose my rage. 15? Just when we went offline. Mm-hmm.
Does it? No, I mean... No, we got bit rate going. Are we good, guys? We're good, we're good. I mean, I think everybody would be freaking out. Fifteen. Fifteen. Five to hit? Hit.
I roll a one every single time, fuck these dice. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11 damage. - Number one? You take your mole and you slam down, you hear a loud crash as like brain splat flies everywhere as he collapses to the ground. - Ooh, it's unfortunate. - Okay, Iris, you're up. - Same thing? - Channeling, Herndon, you're up.
I'm trying to um... Wait. I'll take it back. Nine. Misses. You swing and your flail misses. Um... Um...
I'm singing, but I'm not doing inspiration. I'm just, uh... I don't want to wait for this fight to ogre. And then I will do the six damage. Beautiful. Sorry, five damage of T-force damage. And then I will reload my bow and give a shot at number two. Okay, reload it. And that'll be a 19 plus a million. And then I do...
an additional nine damage or piercing. - Okay. - And I'll move up next to Toa. - You rack his brain and then fire because it hits his shoulder. He's looking rough. Okay.
Lopsy, you're up. All right, I'm going to... You're gonna finish it, make it happen. Yeah, I'm gonna jam my spoon, like, up into his, like, nose and try to break his nose. Go ahead. Well, Tawamon, you want? Hit. Um...
Nine damage. - Okay. - And then I will follow that up with like a Stooge's Job Dead Eye. - Okay, nice. - Natural Swanee on the line. - Okay. - Woo!
Personally, I love natural 20s because then you get to roll double the dice. Me, personally, I love natural 20s. Roll the dice, please. What are you going to play? Red Leather Media. Go watch Red Leather Media. Nerd crew. Before you do that, Loofty, how would you like to do this? Oh!
You're the finisher. I want to jam into his eyes and pull them back out with the eyeballs on it and then be like, pew, pew. You're so cute. Oh, yeah. No, I want to do that a little first and then I'll pew, pew. Okay. So you take your huge spoon and you smash it into the ogre's face. You hear a lot of sickening crack in his nose. His nose breaks. Blood is gushing. Brr!
And while he's grasping his nose, kind of heaving forward, you leap up, shove your fingers into his eyes. You hear him thickening. And you rip out. And he falls back dead. Look, she does the little beetle juice business. And then pew, pew.
They fly off way down the cliff. So, the ogres are a lot. Live and let I. Live and let I? So, funny story about that completely off topic. I saw, I've never seen...
How many's the restaurant? What is it called? James Bond? James Bond. And my friend had, no. And so my friend had that movie and I was like, let's live and let die. And she was just like, we can't. We can't talk to you. That's a great idea. I always recommend people start if you've never seen it because Lauren had never seen it.
James Bond whatsoever. Start with Casino Royale. No. It's excellent. No. It is really good. Okay, so that's not true. I have seen a James Bond. I saw Scapa.
There you go. Oh, yeah. I saw that one. Scarface? Yeah, Scarface. That's actually one of my favorites. But if you don't have the context of the previous film, it's not worth it. Right, right. Okay, but Adele sings the main song for it, so. There you go. I'll incorporate that tonight if I can. I would love that, but you have to do it. Yeah, thank you. Some of them are pretty dated, but the older movies are good, too. GoldenEye is the best James Bond film. It is, 100%. By a wide margin. Yes.
Yes.
Hands down. Do you want to see Doctor Who in Golden Fish Eye? Yeah, I mean, lost eyes here. No, I just, Pierce Brosnan was my Doctor Who, you know? Yeah. He's my Doctor Who as well. I love Doctor Who starring, I don't even know. David Duchovny. David Duchovny and Eddie Murphy in Disney's Haunted Mansion as Doctor Who. Before we continue, I had a friend whose dad looked exactly like Pierce Brosnan and she wasn't allowed to watch
him as James Bond because of how sexual it was, because the mom was worried about her being attracted to Pierce Brosnan and that she would project on her dad. That's the Elektra complexes. Let's not talk about Elektra. That's a dark story if you know Greek myths. Anyway. Moving on. Ten minutes. Ten minutes and 58--or nine minutes and 58 seconds. I'm going to put my arms down and go, "Oh, goodness."
I'm so tired, I'm gonna cancel my spell. Are you fucking kidding me? So before that, we would have ended combat and I would have played on my viola. And then what? What's the little thing that goes after that? So it's not that. No, no, no.
So it's not that... You're not a Seven fan, then. No, and Tifa does that, like, everybody, every 12-year-old knows that. Oh, yeah. Man, do I know that one. On repeat, ladies and gentlemen. If Tifa... Anyway, we won't talk about my childhood. So... That's like classic Iris. Retro's favorite actor is Harry Carey. Oh, my God, no!
Hey, now you see what to do. You tell him to try Weight Watchers. I tried it. It didn't work for me, but here it works for my grandma. Anyway, it's over. I'm leaving. It was great while
So there are dead ogres all around you. There are dead cats. You are on the side of a cliff. And you can kind of see that eventually this pathway that you're on eventually gets to some kind of precipice and then continues onward. Do the cats look unusually magical in any way? Are they just large felines? I'm not-- Make an autonomous check. Can I do a cat?
Make a nature check at advantage when it's your cat. One more cheekbone. All right. One more cheekbone. Oh, no. Is that a nature? Nature. 15. They look-- despite-- they look like very large beasts. They are cats that are not like your standard lions, tigers, mountain lions, and the like. But they are very-- they seem natural, but despite being very vicious and--
I was going to suggest that we pick these saber-like teeth. Hey, Cohen, is there anything on the ogre in front of you? I can check and I look around and look on the ogre. DM will check. Make an investigation check while you do that. And then we'll flip over to the title card. I think I got a six, pretty sure.
Six? I'll say that's enough. You find six gold pieces and seven gems. You look around both the ogres, we'll just say the party's looking, and you find seven gems that are kind of this orange-ish brownish with a gold center. So we just get one gold piece from the ogres? Correct. Let me just make a note.
Oh man. One gold piece. And then we get what? Wait, who found them? Which I did? So I'll pay in one gem to everybody else. So that means I'll take the extra one. It's what? It's an orange gem? Yeah, it's an orange-brownish gem with a golden center.
Can you add stuff like that in D&D Beyond? Like a gem? It's a tiger's eye. I'll just say it's a tiger's eye because... D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond. Can we just get a gold?
But you can add custom items and stuff, so. You can, you can. But like saying, "Oh, a brownish gold is okay." I'm like, "Oh, I need to go to the jeweler to look at it." Plus one gold piece and plus one tiger's eye gem. Do we get an estimate on how much we might estimate that to be anything bad? You don't have any idea. In order to trade that in. Can I intelligently? Because I would have seen gems in the city. I would say that's true.
Why don't you make a history or intelligence check, whatever your preference is. May I make a stone cutting? Do you need me on? Yeah. Make a stone cutting intelligence check. 21 on me. Fat 7. So you have no idea, Herja. You're using more metals and the like. Gems, whatever your family's forte. However, Capri's been to a lot of pawn shops in his time.
You guys don't know what a pawn shop is, but I'm going to look up what that is. The moon must be made of cheese with all the holes it's got in it.
Now we know the moon is made of green cheese, but if we're made of barbeque spare ribs, would you eat it then? I know how. I'd have seconds and wash it down with a nice cool Budweiser. Wow, these look like they have the chatoyancy of the tiger's eyes that I've seen in Galtica. I would say that these are worth a pretty penny.
I don't know how much, but I definitely know where my DMT is. Whatever it's worth. It's up there. It's like right there. Oh, is it? Yeah. Caprice will look it up in his memory. Anyway, you're all standing at jam and he said, Well, I know that all you guys are good in the pantry. We've already had a lot of fucking battles. But I feel like we should keep fucking moving unless any more of these fucking cats show up. Yeah, let's move along.
Can we try to be as stealthy as possible so that it'll surprise us, or almost surprise us, like Lester?
I was surprised. Yeah, I was really, really hurt when that bolt literally ran through my arm and out the other side. You see all that over there, Toph? That's my blood. That's why I ran over. I took an opportunity attack. Thank God he missed. But you lost over half your blood. I know. So a weapon of warning says it warns you of danger. A weapon is on you. You have advantage on initiative rolls. You and any of your companions within 30 feet can't be surprised.
except when incapacitated by something other than non-magical sleep. Weapon magically awakens you and your companions within range if you're sleeping actually. Well, I wasn't surprised by mechanical memes. I was really just surprised. I was surprised. I was surprised.
There's really not a better word for it. In a philosophical sense, I was surprised. I gotta be honest, I'm in pain. I agree with everything the chicas are saying, but what's most important is that both of my biceps, on absolute agony, I spent like nine minutes and 58 seconds holding them up in the air, crawling the rain.
Loofty? Yeah? Yeah, oh yeah. I've got it. I've got it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's a little too... No, no, a little softer, a little softer. You know, I'm only going to need a transfusion, but I'm glad your biceps are okay. God, me too. Oh, wow.
How do you move so swiftly? Anyway, are we getting close to the top, Gemity? Do we still have quite a way to go? I think we've got a bit of a ways to go, Brian. I think we're getting there. We're making some good fucking time. You know, you could probably sell these in any of the pawn shops that I've been to for ten gold pieces. Ten gold pieces? It's not bad. What do you mean?
I mean, I guess if you're becoming an heir, it's not bad. It's a huge amount of money. That's crazy. What are you talking about? To be fair, I don't really need much money. There's some wizardry things that unfortunately require money. I'm not really in search of riches. Well, I mean, things require gold. I mean, you can't be originally in business with silver or copper or anything like that, right? Correct. Sorry, I misspoke. Gold is magic. I appreciate that. Do you guys mind if we took a short rest? I'm feeling kind of...
I think that's up to Jammity here. Is there a definition you can use in a sentence? Like ouch? Like ouchies? Yeah, but we say ouchies. Alright, so it's like ouchies. Jammity, how do you feel about taking a rest here? Is it too dangerous? Do we need to continue moving on?
What? These fucking... You fucking stupid ugly sons of bitches. And she kicks one of the dead ogres. They had to have had... It rolls down. She kicks him off the cliff. It rolls down. Oh, shit! It's fine. It's fine. They had to have some sort of fucking camp with these kitty cats somewhere around here. I figured that's got to be a relatively safe place for us.
It's a great idea if we could find that camp perhaps we can rest it is that agree? Yeah, just a little bit farther. I think that that makes sense. What is the camp scared? Is that I thought camp was like a material that used for claws? Camp camp camp you turn up camp. No keep keep right keep I think I knew it's a vaccine in Kim
He's talking about someone named Kim.
I'm not surprised at how fucking wound up you are. Let's fucking go. I can't afford to. I don't want to talk about this right now. Let's find the camp. I'm sure you're also saying I can't afford to not save myself until marriage. Let's fucking go. I'm wearing the full armor of the Raven Queen, thank you very much. I take a swig of whiskey.
You Kurovakians are the weirdest sons of bitches. Okay, let's go. And she continues and leads you. And you eventually wind your way up until basically the top of this cleft. And you can see that it continues, that you're reaching, you're past halfway to the very peak of this bluff. But however, there does seem to be a little bit of a camp here. There...
you find a couple packs, as well as boxes of these massive bolts that are so large, none of you would be able to at least make use of in any kind of crossbow. But you get the sense that this is like the ammunition, as well as a lot of bits of red meat in varying states of decay, as well as resting places where you get the sense you kind of
We'll just say you get the sense that these were where the cats had been kept as well. You see iron chains and collars that have been unlocked as well as a key in these packs, as well as these large, crude, strange looking glass things that are about like, yay big.
But as you kind of reach the top of this cleft, you realize that you have an incredible, nearly 360 view of the entire, all the land around you. As you realize this is basically, it seems as if it was a lookout of these other creatures. And so this is what's immediately available.
Jamie, why is this place not being... I mean, it seems like there should be someone here, right? Why are we the only ones here? Did we kill everyone who was looking out at this point? Or are they all now going into the center of this bluff and doing whatever they're doing in there?
I mean that's a good fucking question. I know that these are a bunch of ugly sons of bitches that fucking do their things. I've always hated rogues and I would have expected a good number more than what we fucking have. But maybe we just are blessed by some kind of fucking love god. I don't know any of them but I may start fucking worshipping. But you don't worship anyone now?
No, absolutely not. Would you like a pamphlet for a new piece? It's not necessarily the luck god, but when it comes to tipping the scales, he's the god you want on your tab. And he kind of looks like you, based on all the jewelry. He does not look at all like her. She looks like a strange fur creature, and Anubis looks like a jacket. Does he have a really cool looking head? Does he like a trick question? He's a strange fur creature, I think. I cannot believe you just called him strange fur creature.
Dear Anubis, God upon the mountain, I apologize for my friends and should he die in adventures, I will allow him to pass on to the afterlife. So I'm not going to let that happen, no worries. Thank you, Felix, I appreciate it. Is that lame? Even you, the president, is your fireball, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Boom! Yep. Jimmy, my friends, have you heard of our lord and savior Muradin?
I mean, I've heard of more than I've... I need dwarves. I mean, no offense. I'm just... I don't like dwarf gods or anything to do with dwarves. Non-taken. Non-taken. I just wanted to know if you... Okay, I've been pressured, so in my previous employment, I was compelled to fucking worship this jackass named Maglubia, and I didn't take too fucking kindly to that.
And I don't feel very much... I'm not appreciative to being compelled to... Thanks, Rapsa. Bye, Austin. We love you. Goodbye. Love you guys. Whoever's leaving. Austin. Goodbye. Austin. Got him.
Yeah, that Mr. Who's like, "We're gonna make it in." Whatever, is, uh, yeah, we don't like him either. We don't like that. Well, that makes fuckin' two of us. Yeah. Well, yeah, it did the right thing. It did the right thing. Even though you don't work Shepard and that's okay, you know, I don't want to pressure you on your support. Just wondering. Well, I appreciate that. That's very, that's very open-minded of you. Yeah.
Well, are we making camp here then? I will fucking pay caress. No. All right. So from this vantage point, what can we see? Depends on how you're looking. Well, I'm going to use my eyeballs and then I'm going to use Beatrice's eyeballs. So, use your eyeballs and...
You see that the side of this, you're basically on the back side of Butcher's Block. Ergo, you're the rest of this massive stone formation. Behind you is kind of blocking the view of the moors in the direction that you came. Okay. However, it is a great overview of the Krola Mountains ahead, as well as the
pass that seems to be where all of these forces seem to be amassing. You look around and you can see swarms and swarms as far as the eye can see, all throughout this mountain pass, in varying ledges and passes. Hill giants and
and massive beasts. You see the flocks of these strange red birds and you look up, they look like these hawk creatures, birds of prey of some kind, but this unnatural red color to their feathers that are flying above you, not as much, but they're swarming all above, circling, circling, circling. This amassing of forces.
And you can see that there's some kind of circling going on at this mountain pass, but it's too far away for you to see. So does it look like they're stopping at the mountain pass? It does seem to be that they're kind of stopping. The camps are being erected. Some rudimentary tents are being erected. But it's very difficult just with your naked eye to see.
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