Beneath Dark Wings | Ep. 20 | The Sound of Thunder: Part 2
03:16:17 Share

Welcome to Legends of Evantris. I'm Iris, and you're listening to Beneath Dark Wings. Here's what happened last time. We have found an individual to meet us on the front lines, who's a member of the Resistance, against the Okaxian Court. These six of you act as undercover agents of Korvarkia to disrupt the tyrannical government of Eerios, to find the Wind Dukes.

and that could save us all from the Chained God. My men will escort you while you approach Eerios. May the Raven Queen watch over you. This mission is critical. Pleasure to meet you. My name is Felix, and I'll hold up my hand. Wow, Felix. I'm a wizard. Ah, you're a wizard? Can you make fire come from your hand?

Yeah, I can. That is impressive. I think we're going in the right direction, at least as far as the wind spirits are concerned, but I also get this sense in the pit of my stomach that there's some kind of grave danger that awaits us. Tewa! Is that you, Makoto? What are you doing here? I should ask you the same question! What are you doing here? It's very dangerous here, Tewa. I'm the true warrior. You were weak, you failed in combat.

You're going to bring shame to our tribe! And his skin begins to shift, and you start to see that where there was once flesh is crackling volcanic rock and magma pouring out of the same pattern of the tattoos. You were supposed to protect the spirits, not destroy them! It is too late for the spirits. You've done nothing. I will still kill you here. It is too late, Hoha.

The windbenders already have them. The Aarakocra will make nice use of them. I have fire and earth and then I will have water and air. They know you're here. Who? Where? They will be coming. What is Limeade? You didn't have Limeade? They didn't offer it at that spa? It seems like the kind of thing. Is Limeade like there was a big benefit concert? Like back in the 80s? Limeade? What are the 80s?

There's like a decade or something called the 80s. What is a decade? Or maybe it was the early 90s. Limeade, right? No. No. Derek doesn't know. The age of which we all aid people by having the limeade. Well, anybody that gets the Limeade reference, thank you. I appreciate that. I believe there was a wonderful queen who attended something. Oh, I heard that. It was someone very regal, at least. Yes. Really?

I feel like we're really moving away from the plot here. You just confronted Makutu, and that's meaningfully important. What happened when you first confronted him? How did you guys first go into battle? Well, I suppose now is the time to tell the whole story. Hold on, hold on. I'm very interested to hear this, but I know a lot of us are really exhausted. I know I could use a nap. Should we make camp somewhere and take a brief rest?

A brief rest or one of the longer varieties? Probably one of the shorter varieties. I feel shorter. Let us get to the underbrush and then we can have a short rest. Briefly. Yeah. Thank you, God. And maybe, Capricci, you could sing us that song that you sang to General...

Firm in earlier that I don't I don't think our friend has heard yet. Oh, yeah, no would be my pleasure There's this great shop that makes little miniature tokens Well, let us make camp

And you all get into the underbrush, and he's keeping an eye towards the sky, and it seems as if that battle had not drawn the attention of any Aarakocra. And you manage to get far enough away from the scene of the battle, and honestly, it doesn't look like much has happened because all of the lava has just crusted over into a black rock, and it seems as if...

It seems as if it would be very difficult to spot that from the air above. And so you enjoy, yeah, you're camping out. - Are we enjoying a short rest? - Yeah, I'll say that. - Okay.

I'll sing Song of Rest. Everyone can have an additional 1d6 HP if they spend a hit dice. I will do that. And remember that when you spend a hit dice, you also add your constitution modifier to that. It tells you right in DBBR. Is that 1d6 plus per dice that we use or just one time? Just one time.

Oh, really? It's not 1d6 plus 2 every time you use a hit die? No, it's just... No, for Song of Rest. It's... It's for every... No. It's for every hit die. Song of Rest is just an additional 1d6 on top of whatever you do. If you use one. If you use one hit die. Oh, okay.

Oh jeez, I just did 50 damage to myself. And you're dead. And don't forget that you guys still have 10 additional HP. And I'm obviously singing quietly in the underbrush. Hail to Eldritch Foundry and the minis that they make.

Print your model. I started way too high. Print your models proudly. Such detail you cannot fake. Custom character creation. Rendered, primed, wax sealed. We get the highest quality anyone could help to wield.

Hail to Eldritch Foundry. Only six more days are left. Type! Exclamation point mini. And check out their Kickstarter for cool custom minis from Eldritch Foundry. All rights reserved. Gotta give it up. Yay!

So I sing that briefly for our friend, Umlanda. But hey, no, I'm really more curious to hear about your first confrontation with Makutu. Did you grow up with him in your tribe? Did you always hate each other? Were you once best friends and then he stole your lady or what? What was the deal there? There is one thing I would like to say to you before you delve into this. You mentioned a lot about strength. Strength is not always in the muscles.

You have a strength of heart unlike any I've ever seen. So do not ever think that because his punches might land a little bit harder that he is stronger than you. For you are far more sturdy and your constitution is much higher. Thank you. I do appreciate that. And I do believe that this is my purpose in life. So it all started when...

So my homeland, the Makani Islands, is a chain of islands to the very far southwest, I'll say. And we're protected from an ancient evil volcano spirit named Tikiroa.

And many, many millennia ago, the volcano erupted and decimated nearly all the Goliaths living on the islands. I'm using minor illusion behind you to sort of like animate the scene. The

ancient elders and shaman of my tribe. They called on the four great wind spirits that called these island chains home. There was Raki, the red boar of the north wind, Hekina, the white moa of the east wind, Tonga, the blue turtle of the south wind, and Komohana, the black shark of the west wind.

With the power of those four spirits they trapped Tihiroa in the great volcano in the middle of the island chain and protected the island as long as I've been alive and many centuries prior. However, one day

The spirits seemed to vanish. The shaman seemed to not sense their presence anymore. And there were rumblings in the earth. And our crops started dying. The trees started withering. The fish seemed to disappear. And there were just all of these bad omens that the wind spirits were no longer granting these boons to the islands. And so the tribe elders held...

a competition to figure out who would go out into the world and find these wind spirits. And given that we're a Goliath tribe, we value strength very highly, so there was a trial by combat and they pitted Goliath versus Goliath and I did alright. I got to the very end of the last round.

as did Makoto, and he beat the shit out of me. It wasn't even close. He's a coward. He's the one that ran away. Yeah, but no, he really wasn't even close. Let me tell you, I don't know about it. You would never know, but I'm being honest because I really don't want to lie. He really just beat the living shit out of me. He's very strong, as you see. And now I wonder if he'd already...

been communing with Tikkiroa and gained additional strength. Anyway, he gained the favor of the tribe elders and he set out to go on this journey and find these wind spirits and it just didn't feel right to me. I just got this bad feeling similar to the feeling that I got.

And so I went to the top of the volcano and I set out my fetishes which are little carved figurines and nothing sexual. Dammit! Did the elders know that you left? Did they frown upon it? It seems like it was his journey and you just went off after it. So they didn't know that I went to go and try to commune with these wind spirits and get a sense of what had happened. And when I prayed,

I felt the wind whip around me and I got visions of Striga, of this dark land. And I had a feeling that something bad had happened. That they were either absconded or imprisoned or maybe worse killed somewhere here. And I got the sense that I could save my home islands in this land. And I basically left in the middle of the night. I got on my boat and I sailed here.

and I didn't know if he knew to come here or not but when we first heard word of him being here that's when I knew that he was on the same path that I was and I thought that maybe he was more spiritual than I realized thinking that he was just this dick meat head was a fucking dick did you say the words dick meat? dick meat head yes dick meat and head

Lovely. In context means that he's a dick and he's a meathead. Yes, I know. It's just the way you paused. I thought maybe that he was spiritual. More spiritual than I'd realized. But it turns out now I realize that not only was he trying to... Not only was he just misguided and not truly spiritual in this quest. He seems to be complicit in the disappearance and...

the potential rise of Tiki Roa and the Great Volcano, and so if I don't succeed, it's very likely that the Great Volcano will erupt and potentially destroy the Makani Islands. Well, what I will say is I don't know much about your spirits. But as a woman who works for gods, it is not the likes of mortals to choose their champions, and it sounds to me that the spirits chose you.

Your island believes that strength is the key, and I think that Makutu is wrong. He believes strength of arms, that it is the strength of the heart that they are looking for. And you, Toa, have that in spades. So if anyone is going to fell this volcano or whatever it is... Which is a volcano. We can talk about that later. If you're going to fell whatever this strange walking abomination is, this volcano creature, if you're going to fell it, you will have Anubis at your back.

Well, thank you. And I couldn't have done it all without you. And I think that with the power of the wind spirits and friendship on my side, I will be successful. And heart. And all of the other elements and whatever. I think that... All of the elements and whatever. Whatever you were referencing, I think that we have a real chance to save my heart.

And I thank you all for your help and your invaluable friendship. Hey, and look, you know, the way things went, I mean, he was walloping on you. I mean, he was really walloping on you. But he didn't get you this time. It was...

You held your own? He almost did. And when you and I had been here, he would have beaten the shit out of me again. Yeah, he definitely... He was wild being here, but you did okay. Yeah, but he was like a big lava guy, so didn't he use his... It's funny how I watched it from the sidelines for the most part.

He was beating you black and blue. You were basically pounded into the ground. But you did not run. You stood up. He would beat you down again. But you would stand up. He would beat you down again. And then you would stand up. He would beat you down yet again. And he's the one that ran. Yeah.

Exactly what Iris said. Next time I'm going to turn him into an ocelot and then it'll be a fair fight. I can't wait to see that. That's a great idea. Well, thank you. I'm sure we'll see him again, but I think we beat the shit out of him this time. We did, of course. Did you see that jaw thing that happened at the end? Yeah. It was pretty cool, though. He fucking deserves it. The dick. Yeah, next time I find him, I'm not going to beat him up for what he tried to pull here, but for what the shitty things he said to you.

That's not nice at all. What kind of barn was he raising? Where does he get off? That's right. He's not very nice at all. He is indeed very mean. I'm going to look around as we're starting to talk and I'm going to turn to him, Landa. Do you think we made enough noise to attract attention? Are we okay? If you remember what he said, he specifically said they knew we were coming. They knew of our presence. It's also the middle of the day. We've got Dakota too. I've been keeping my eyes to the sky. I don't see...

Anyone coming? Alright, just making sure. This whole night-day thing has had me really messed up, I'm gonna be honest. It is... When you're ruled by nocturnal beings, it is very exhausting. You've just finished... You're resting after your battle with Makutu, also known as Flamebender, Taahi. And he had been the one that Toa had been...

searching for. And he allegedly said that, you know, while he was, he said he was going off to search for the wind spirits, he said he allegedly delivered them to the windbenders of the Okaxian court and that, uh,

there may be more nefarious things at play. He, uh, managed to escape, but not, uh, without his jaw being smashed off. Um, you even do after that, he's horribly, horribly wounded, but he, he blabbed into the ground and, uh, barely escaped. We'll, uh, we'll say, and we're all now. And, and Toa has just finished, uh,

He's telling a story, and so you're all sitting there. You're all sitting down. You've got some logs, patches of grass, and the like, keeping an eye out on the dangerous owl. Also, someone asked the question, are these really smart owls or are they humanoid? They are owl arachocra, owl-headed arachocra. In Avantris, arachocra can basically have the head of any kind of bird, because why not? And so these are owl-variety arachocra. I wish they were parrots.

I wish there were two cans. That'd be fuckin' nice. Yeah, two cans. Yeah? We could make all kinds of cereal jokes and uh... Man, that was a really hard fight!

That sucked harder than Suckballs Mountain. Suckballs... Don't you have a song about Suckballs Mountain? I mean, I've sung it once or twice, but never... Why don't you regale us? I mean, now's not the time. I just sang a song. Come on. I'm feeling wounded. I think it's the perfect time to hear about Suckballs Mountain. I don't think you should have brought another one. What is Suckballs Mountain? Would you like to hear the song about Suckballs Mountain?

Your songs aren't very good. Maybe you could have a good one. Maybe you haven't heard the right one, friend. Maybe this one about Suckball Mountains would be good. Well, you can't put him on the spot. He's the true artist. You can't put a musician on the spot. You can't. I mean, that's sort of what, you know, Outsluts do. Are you going to take that sitting down, Caprice? I'll stand up even. I'll stand up and I'll sing about Suckball's Mountain.

I don't look over here. I'm not going to stop. Did we decide if we're going to mute the stream? Yes, it's fine. I thought we listened to it. We thought it was cool. This is a mature stream. Everyone agrees that it's okay. All right. Okay. I'm sorry, chat, for what I'm about to do.

We've all proved it. So it's all part of my first time hearing it. So I'm going to turn this one. Oh, okay. One evening as the sun went down and the tavern lights were burning through the door came a horny human. He said, man, I've got a yearning. I'm going to turn this one.

I'm heading for a house of ill repute. If you're looking for an outing, just come with me and we'll go and see the brothel. Suck balls mountain. When you visit suck balls mountain, don't pay for pretty legs. They only have one offering and they call it soft boils eggs. You're going to fuck me up. You're a

Size and race don't matter. They're only the heft of your coin purse. Just find a pretty face and a private place so the birds and the bees both get on their knees in the brothel. Suck balls, mountain. When you visit, suck balls, mountain. All you need to wear are socks. You'll learn how inventive gnomish are while they get to know your rocks. There ain't no other service there. No tricks other than the one.

But if your balls are blue and you've got coin two and you're wanting something different than your standard screw, make your way to Suck Balls Mountain. That is hands down my favorite song. If your balls are blue and you've got coin two. Classiest ever, darling. It's in Galtica. I don't know what to tell you. It's for the children. And with a 18 performance, how does Umlanda take this song?

Oh! Oh, gnomes! Okay, I get it now. God, I love this game! So, how close are we to being at where we're going? Well, if we hurry, we may be able to make it by before sundown. Get an early night.

Yeah, let's make our way. That would be fantastic. Let's leave right away. It seems as if your spirits, though, are with the windbenders. Are you alarmed by this? I mean, I don't know too much about the windbenders. Is there anything else you can tell me beyond the fact that they're owl people that can control the wind? Well, they can shape the wind to their own will, so that might be a bad thing for them if they are made of wind.

So they can, like, destroy them or maybe control them, perhaps? Do you think maybe that they're using them to bolster their own powers? It could be. Maybe they're going to use it in a war against Gorovakia. We have to free them. Yes, absolutely. We need to free them as quickly as possible. Well, the storms have been getting far worse over the past months. They are up to something, it seems. When...

If the eight of the wind spirits, even against their will, are responsible, it's my responsibility to make sure that it's stopped. Well, I guess we'll go. Everyone stay with me. And he's going to cast Pass Without a Trace again for the rest of the day. Let's do one more stealth check, because everyone just broke it with their...

- Suck balls mountain. - Hey, natural 20. - Gotta give it up. - My rolls have been sucked balls mountain. - 23 total. - 22. - 33. - 35. - Natural 20! - And begin to sneak through the brush as, and you keep an eye on the brush.

And as you're making your way through this whole time, you've occasionally seen far off in the distance or maybe a little bit closer, you have a close call as you duck down and you'll see, you'll hear screaming as a gnome is being carried off by an Arakokra or two, as well as perhaps a Firbolg or a Lizardfolk or a Tabaxi occasionally being dragged up to who knows where.

And you have to make sure you're staying out of sight. And it's really thanks to this druidic magic that is being provided that allows you to stay undetected. And...

You see that there are small paths and roads and villages and people are walking around but there's a look of trepidation and fear in everyone that you pass that you see. I'll whisper to him, "Landa, is there any kind of pattern as to who gets taken or is it just who they happen to spot?" Not just who they happen to spot but if they suspect that you're against the court.

Zero tolerance policy. And they just go to... to die? They go up to... to the tree tops. Never come back. Hmm. Alright. Do they pick them up and then drop them down and get killed by the fall? Or do they kill them up there? I guess they kill them up there. I've never been. How do you know that they're killing them? Well, they don't come back. That's for sure.

Fine. Do you know... Maybe I'm just an optimist. Are there any Al, Arakoka or those of you attacks?

I can't say that word. What? Are there any? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay

Don't believe in any of that nonsense and they're just good owl people? Any good in their hearts? We haven't tried. There was a period many years ago where allegedly an Aarakocra defected and joined in the resistance and he ratted everyone out and everyone was executed.

Son of a gun! Sounds pretty serious. I mean, I think we would know if they were just dropping people down to the forest floor. They would just smash down in front of us like a burlap sack full of vegetables. There'd be bodies everywhere. And it wouldn't be a surprise if they were throwing them off some kind of cliff somewhere and there's just a pile of them. Because, you know, there's a little bit of padding and treetops maybe. There's a chance they wouldn't die. It's a very far drop. Far drop.

It feels... These are like ridiculously tall trees. Yeah, absurdly tall trees. It's like fucking Attack on Titan. Giant forest business. Well, let's keep going. Alright. And you continue on your way. And the... He tells you that, you know, that he's certain that their leader will know what to do. He says, Are...

Our leader Hart, she says that she's been up to the treetops, into the heart of Celeri itself, their capital city, and came back to live to tell the tale. And I believe that she will know what to do. So hopefully you'll meet her when you make it to Foxwood. And it's not much further. And he guides you through under huge roots and logs and through the forest floor and the underbrush. You duck out of the way. The...

The activity during the daytime being far, far, far, far, far less than the night. And eventually you make it through the underbrush and you see a very small and modest village. As you kind of look around, you see the occasional fox scampering around with bright orange fur, diving into a den or beneath a root. And you see a number of small,

modest houses round in shape made of very basic clay and wood and it seems to be a very basic town with a handful of buildings with basically a crossroads through it and you see similar to how you've seen in the previous towns we've encountered

watch posts built into the trees above this town. As you approach, you look up and you see a number of stern-faced Aarakocra peering down with their huge yellow eyes. There's almost a glint on them through the shimmering sunlight right as sunset begins to

since it begins to come as the storm clouds this whole time have been uh really coming in and out but when the storms had been bad they've been terrible the wind howling and whipping through and right now it's relatively calm as the the sun is is shimmering through the canopy and

And as you arrive right towards the outskirts of town, you're all ducking in the shrubbery looking out. You see a number of individuals walking around illuminated very softly by firelight. And you see some gnomes, tabaxi, lizardfolk, and firbolgs seem to be the predominant races of this forest floor.

as they go about their business with that same level of drudgery and tenseness and a bit of fear that all of these other humanoids have been suffering as well that you've seen. And as soon as you approach this town, Umlanda stops you and says, this is Foxwood. It's not much, but this is where the base of our, of at least our operation is. It's in the tavern over there.

What was the name of their leader by the way? Heart. H-A-R-T. H-E-A-R-T. What is it with leaders and getting named Heart? And there's a name of a village? Foxwood. Foxwood. What's the name of that tavern? Bunny's Burrow. Bunny's Burrow? Burrow. What an adorable name for a tavern. It really is. Is that with an O burrow? O-W? Or like a burrow?

U-R-R-O-W? Like a bunny burus? And a fox is in a wood? So like a B-U-R-R-O-W. Oh, I got it right. R-R-O-W. I got three 19s in a row. Loaded dice. I have a friend named Enzo. Because you said that. I'd just like to draw your attention to my notes from last session. Derek says he has a friend named Enzo.

The most important point. So meta. So are there like Aarakocra gods and stuff around this town or is this town relatively unguarded? There are gods up there, but we're all very much incognito. So all of you have to sneak you in. I have an idea. What we can do is I'll show them. They don't know that I am part of the resistance. I can find someone who can bring out a cart. We'll say we were hunting.

We'll get some foxes and drink the furs over you and we'll get you into the tavern. We need to go hunt foxes. We have foxes. We... Oh, we don't have to kill... actually hunt foxes. You have foxes. We'll put you on a sled and we're going to pretend that we just hunted some foxes. Yeah, and then you're going to put a dead fox on me. Yes. I'm... I'm... I don't think that I... Lots of dead foxes. It's just a fur, really. What if Irish just lays on top of me really still?

No. She doesn't look like a fox to me. Do you want us to just wait here for you? Yes. All right. We'll post guard here and then just, we need to make sure we get our story straight. Because I'm not very good at lying, so I just need to make sure that I know what to say. It'll be fine. It's fine. Do you want me to summon Peyton and she could, like, pull the wagon? Why are we lying to them?

To who? In case somebody comes while he's away and they're getting the cart. He's wondering if, like, somebody should stroll up to us, what we should do in that situation. Tell them the truth? I mean, if an Aarakocra flies down right now, we're not going to want to tell them the truth, so what story would we tell them? Oh, you're talking about the Aarakocra. I thought you were talking about the Resistance. Oh, no. They know that someone's coming. Okay. You all are obviously, clearly not from around here.

So we're hunters and we just have some fox pelts. So do you want the axe or not? No, you'll be the fox pelts. I'm a hunter. How about we do this? Let me see here. Make sure I prepare. Unless you can go invisible. I don't think that's possible. We could illusion some stuff. I've seen Capricci do it before. It's pretty cool. Yeah, I've got some minor illusions and I can also go invisible twice a day now.

I'm fine. No. We just, we just, let's just remain hidden until our friend here gets back with the car and then we'll all pile in and get in safely. Does that sound fine? Yeah, make sure you get the keys to the Toyota. I'm not driving away, that's the other guy. The other guy. He's jumping in his Ford. Uh, stay here. I know where you are.

So we're like hidden under like... Yeah, you're hidden under the brush. And you stand at the outskirts of town as you see Umlanda step forward. And as he's walking into the town, immediately two of the sentries...

fly up from their perch and swoop down directly in front of him and landing. You see that there are swords at each of their side and that they have their taloned hands ready to draw. And you see that Umanda pulls, raises his hand and he reaches into a large sack that he has and he pulls out two fox pelts and he's talking. We can't hear any of this. You can't hear any of this. I should have inspired him. I didn't do it.

The Aarakocra draw their swords and Wanda's head hits the ground. No! That was some rude expectations. Always Aarakocra.

And he's talking and he holds up two fox pelts and he is pointing over his shoulder in the opposite direction of where you guys are. And he's just gesturing and you see the eyes of the Aarakocra scan over the woods. And eventually they kind of narrow and try to discern if he's telling the truth. And eventually they both nod at each other and fly back up.

landing on their perch that overwatches the foxwood. Can we see their perches? Yes, you can see that it's basically that there's a number of trees that this, it's like in between four huge tree trunks and in two of the trees on either side there are these sentry posts and with a number of patrolling Aarakocra. So there's the two of them. Do I see any more? Make a perception check.

Uh, 18. 18. You look up and you look around and it seems as from what you can tell there don't seem to be any more than the two. And it seems one was on either a sentry post and they both swooped down, landed, interrogated him, and then went back up to their perch. I wave practically to everybody and I go Yes! What on earth is she doing? I'm not sure. I think she's just repeating what we're seeing right now. Hesha, are you feeling alright?

Is there additional information? Are you choking? No! Oh. I just wanted to think. What? Exclamation point charity! Amazing money for children and animals, and after about 45 minutes. I'm sorry. After about 45 minutes.

The brush rustles, and you see Umand... Say Brussels? Brussels. They get returned to Brussels. And he emerges through the brush, and you see a large sled built of this sturdy wood, and there is a large pile of fox pelts on it. And as he emerges, he's dragging it through...

Okay, well, who's first? I think I... Do you want the axe or not? I think they'll be very suspicious if a random musk ox appears out of nowhere. Is that random around here? Yes, we don't have a musk ox in here. I didn't know what that was when you first said it. Oh, okay. He probably still doesn't know what it is. I actually still don't know what it is. You explain it to me, but I can't really picture it without the context. So are you taking us in one by one?

We can probably fit a couple of you. No, I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it too. I'll just climb in. Can you pull us? And like burrow in under the foxes as deep down under as I can. What if you go? I'll go invisible and then I'll just follow along the side of you guys. You know, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't know if Iris is going to tolerate being under all these foxes. You might have to use invisibility on her.

We should stage whisper and talk louder just so the mic's because I... Oh yeah, yeah. Oh sorry. Not actually whisper, thank you. You should use invisibility on Iris 'cause her tolerance for dead foxes is low. From underneath the fox pelts you hear Felix say, "He's not there!" You don't have to speak slowly!

You want to go invisible? I want to go invisible. No, not at all. Well, shit. How will I be able to look at my jewels? But just temporarily until we get into the tavern. Yeah, I'm just concerned. Otherwise you have to go underneath these fox belts and they smell like fox belts. And they're going to smudge your shiny stuff with their deadness. Are they...

Bloody. Nope. They're fine. They look very soft. They're very soft. No, I don't want to. It's pretty cozy in here. Fine. Make me that invisible thing. Are you sure? No, but do it anyway. I'll hold my unending breath. Hold my breath and climb into the fox pile. Oh. If you can make him invisible too, then we can make it in one trip.

No, I can only do it, I think, just let me just double check. I can do it one at a time. Fine, I will get under the foxes and you make Toa invisible. All right. And I will climb under the foxes. No, I can only make one person invisible at a time.

Is it concentration or something? Yeah, it's concentration. So a higher spell slot you can do it to. When I use the bow to cast something, I still have to maintain concentration on the thing that I cast using the bow, right? Yes. So yeah, I can cast invisibility once using my own self-boopiness because I'm a tiefling, and then I can cast invisibility using the bow, which means I can cast it twice per day, but they don't stack. So you don't actually have the spell invisibility. Right. Okay, so yeah, that's why you can only do it at one person. Right. Okay.

So... Do not realize. We're going to have to do this in two trips if we're going to use invisibility or we can just do it in multiple trips like the original plan. What do you guys want to do? I'm fine with anything. I'd just like you to make a decision. Toa! I boop him and I'll take the second round. Come back for the rest of the belts. Toa, we're not going to be able to see you so you're going to just have to follow really close behind us. Don't be very quiet as I can. Okay.

There's absolutely no way that this can go wrong. I agree! I agree! Do I wait back here or do I get in the wagon now? I will stay with Caprice. It's up to you. You can stay here. Does it look like there's room in the wagon to fit? There's probably about room for three of you guys if Toa's going. I'm invisiblain. Oh, you're invisiblain. Yeah, he's walking behind. So then it would be the three of them and then Caprice and I would wait and go with the second. Okay, yeah. Well, that makes sense to me.

Everyone else get in. Flamor in. Takes me a while. A lot of sound of shuffling armor. Maybe a quick fart. Oh, thanks for joining us, Arja. Why did you do that? Man, a fox pelt. That shuffling sounds awful. I can't talk when we're brother and sister. You can exhale. You can talk. Once we're done.

breath and air in your lungs. You'd have to re-breathe. You can talk, but you have to talk through your cheeks like Kenny from South Park. Should I stealth? Should I steal away? If you guys are... You're invisibility. I'm invisible. You're invisible, so you should stealth an advantage. Well, that's a 19. That's a 13, so... Well, the higher number's a 13, so... It checks out. 22. 22.

22, okay. So you are slinking through invisibly behind as like, well, try not to move. And with the, oh hey, you wanna give me a hand here? 'Cause you're invisible.

As long as they won't know what I'm doing, sure. And I'm gonna... Or I'll... Whatever feels the most natural with kind of my strength. If I can get behind and push, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You can definitely get behind and push with that stealth check. So he's struggling as he pulls and he's getting it, but then all of a sudden with Toa, it just... Oh, this is a lot easier. Okay. All of you...

all you can see is darkness. And little bits of fur as you're just... You feel the bits of the tan leather and then the soft, plush fox fur as you're just completely covered in this. And you're jostling around as the sled gets pulled. Toa, you're pushing. You're able to see as...

as Umlanda waves up at the guards as they peer down at him. I feel like sweating profusely. They lean in a little bit. And this is the closest that you've gotten to any of these. Both of these Aarakocra, they are both owl-like.

but one seems to be this dark brown with tufts, and the other seems to be a little bit larger with this gray plumage and these huge circles around his already large eyes. How tall are they? They're about human height, so probably around six feet, yeah. And maybe a little bit shorter. And they are peering in as they watch him, and he waves, and...

And he succeeds in his deception check. Yeah. That's good. And as he pulls the sled, and you see this small, modest-looking tavern ahead of you with a little wooden sign with a sign that says, Bunny's Burrow. And it's a little hole with a little horn.

a hill with a hole dug out as the symbol on the sign. As he drags you around and pulls the sled to a side of the building that's out of sight from the Aarakocra. And Toa, you see a cellar door. It seems to be a root cellar with a double door and...

And he stops and he goes over and he's open both of the doors to this root cellar and he whispers in, "Okay, I'm going to pull you in the direction and just make a run for it as soon as you can." And... "You're gonna go into a root cellar, into the basement of the inn. No one's down there yet, but I'll meet you as soon as I get the others."

Right as you get out of the car, there's steps. So please be mindful of the first step. I wouldn't want you to trip and hurt yourselves. What's the goat mark? Where are we going?

"Oh, it's- it's- Settler! Settler!" I start to scramble out and like, basically like roll out of the cart and like hit the first step and like roll down the steps like I'm not going too quickly. So you do that. As you run out, are you guys doing- I'm grabbing Lufti's hand and running down after Felix. I'm just gonna look down at my bunny or my fox.

bleh, fox soiled outfit and follow your shift. Okay. I'll wait until everybody else is out, make sure that no one saw us, and then I'll go down. Okay. So, uh, you, uh, all three of you, uh, dart, and you, uh, run down the stairs into the darkness below, and, uh, Toa, make a perception check for me. Should I use one? Uh... Feel free. I'm gonna use a twist. I'm gonna use a twist. Okay. Okay.

It's worse. So that's... 11. 11. Okay, so you peer around and you look and you listen and you hear the faint flapping of feathers, but it just seems to be a woodpecker flying over your head. It lands on a tree next to you and starts hammering away at the tree. Derek, what does that sound like? I can't do a woodpecker. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

That's exactly right. That's exactly right. So you all run into the cellar, both of you. Probably 20 minutes pass as you hear the rustling again. I've been teaching her how to do the fucking...

I don't understand. You just go like this and then you come up? No. No, up. You have to... You do up. Yep. And then down. Oh, shit. And then... We'll start over. Yeah, okay, okay. So together and then up. Oh, shit. No, start over. No, no, no. That's not how. And then 20 minutes of video. No, one more time. Just one more time. One more time. All right, all right. Okay. What? Oh, no! I thought we were supposed to go down. God damn it. The Arakogas threw down a slice of bread.

We found them! That's the way you do it! That's the way you do it! That's all! The Okatsian court sends their regards. One, two, three. I'm 100% stealing that. You can't stop me. You can't

Thank you, Nyla! Thank you! Oh my god. Oh my god. Sorry. This is stupid. Us derailed a session. Meanwhile, finally, Wanda shows up. You haven't been beheaded by owls that send their regards. And he says, okay, this is the last bit. Sure. Sure.

You first, Caprice. It's not too bad. I dig in. I'm not going to make myself invisible. I'll just hang out. Okay. You dive in, and you're diving in, so you both... I will only go if you promise that you will teach me whatever this weird hand-medjig is at a later date. We'll practice every night, no problem. Do you promise? Absolutely, I promise. I will be the best at it. I believe you, yeah. You'll win. Perfect.

Then I will get under the foxes. Okay, you dive in. It doesn't smell great, but it doesn't smell as bad as you're expecting. It smells gamey, but when you walk into a fur shop at the Renaissance Fair, it's about that turned up a little bit. As you dig in and both of you just wait and then you say, okay.

You're lighter than the other group! And he steps forward and pulls the sled. There's a lot of dead foxes on top of us. This is weird. Have you ever heard them having sex? They scream like humans. It's mind-blowing. Jesus. I think we need to be quiet. Shh!

You hear a shh, but I didn't know that. You've never lived in the woods of Virginia and you scream like humans and it's a nightmare. You'll have to show me what it sounds like later. I would use minor illusion to make the sound now, but we will get caught.

You hear the rattling of the sled beneath you and the rustling of the pelts as you're dragged across. And once again, once he gets a little bit closer, he stops and you get the sense that he's probably waving up to the two sentries and then moment passes and then you start rattling as you are dragged forward. Eventually he stops. The sled stops.

And then he leans down and says, "Okay, there's a root cellar about five feet to my right. Just make a run for it when I say, 'Oh, I can't remember the code word.'"

I think it was cellar. Cellar. What cellar? Run to the root cellar. A root cellar? You feel a large hand grab, shoot into the belt, and drag it and pull you out. All right, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going. I've already, like, I use that moment to dart out feline agility and run straight in. You leap down, you see the cellar, and...

You both sprint down into the cellar and you, both of you, or all four of you rather, emptied out into a cellar filled with root vegetables, casks of liquid, you assume probably ale or wine, and large sacks of flour and other dried goods.

And it's... There's still a good amount of space, despite the cellar being totally packed. It's spacious. You can get the sense that the cellar's probably about the same size as the inn that's above it. Was it, like, you said it was pitch black down there? Yeah, totally dark. I'm going to have, while the four of us were down there, have pulled out the lantern that Toa had given me just for a little bit of light and place it on the floor. Caprice, in a cellar full of large sacks, do you ever feel the need to sing Balsack Candy Mountain? No.

No, I, uh, why? Well, I just thought it was apropos. I, uh, no, I thought I might steal a bag of flour, but that did not occur to me, what you just suggested. Wait, did you just say Ballsack Candy Mountain? Isn't that the name of his little diddly? Is it any relation to the fabled Candied Mountain? I'm not sure. Or Candied Island, I mean. I don't know any, all I know is Suckballs Mountain is a brothel. Oh, I apologize. I thought Suckballs Mountain was Balls Candy Mountain.

I can see how that would be confusable. Is that a neckbeck thing? Well, I'm not sure what neckbeck is, but in neckbet, no, it is not a thing. You know, I'm pretty sure that Candied Island is real. I'll find it one day. Candied Island. Candied Island. It's an island made entirely of candy. Is that like a story that your people tell? Yeah, it's, as children, they tell us about this fabled place called Candied Island. And it's an island made of candy. Entirely of candy, yes. Wouldn't it just dissolve into the ocean?

No, no. It's waterproof candy. Waterproof candy. Yes, that sounds like non-digestible. Can I roll an insight check on the waterproof candy? No, it's definitely edible.

I don't know, I haven't thought about it! I don't know how it works! It's just an island! It's not a cave, you know right? It's okay. It's magical candy. I realize I should have known. Saliva has a different property than water does. I have so much to learn. As a dumb lizard, I don't know these things. I believe it exists. People say, "Oh, Toa, you still believe in Candied Island? That's ridiculous!" Do you believe in the... Toa, darling, I believe in Candied Island.

You believe in Kenny Barrett? I do. Now that you've told me about it, I definitely believe it. Oh, well, one day, after this is all said and done, I'm going to find him. And one day, we will take Daddy's barge and we will sail around the world.

The entirety of Avantris, and we will look for candy diamonds. Right, we're going to go to Galtica, we're going to go to Nekbet, we're going to go visit Candy Island. And then you can take some candy back with you, and you can say, well, all you non-believers, I have been there. Also, the tooth fairy is totally real. What on earth is a tooth fairy? That sounds horrifying. She's a fairy of teeth. Oh my god, I don't ever want to see one of those ever. She's an archfey. You don't mean like a hay creature that steals your teeth. No.

Yeah. Holy gods almighty! That is absolutely horrific, Caprice. Why would you say that? Because I don't... Toei's going to have nightmares! I'm gonna have nightmares! Let's all have some nightmares. Wait, she exists? I didn't believe in that until now! It's true. Well, now I believe it. Alright. Oh, no. Toei, darling. We will never let her catch you. Alright.

She won't take my tea. She will not take your tea. I don't quite like my tea. She will eat it more often. She only comes after you if you lose a tooth. A fag creature that steals teeth is not gonna do anything to us. How am I gonna eat the candy on Candied Island if I don't have my teeth? I don't think you should go after this Candy Island. I mean, I need to. We used to have a story where there was a house made of candy in the woods, but when you get there, a big horrible hag just eats you. The hag? As in like a fairy creature? As in the tooth fairy? Oh, maybe it's the same!

Oh no, Joe. What if the haggish tooth fairy lives on Candid Island and she eats anyone that makes it there? What a truly terrible place. We must kill her and take back Candid Island. No, we must just never go there. I can't even risk it. I can't even risk my teeth. It's true. Not even for a moment. Tune in on Tooth Fairy when we'll be running a one-shot called Candid Island. Very well.

All I'm saying is that this might be a fuel for the Fey Fire. Oh, yeah, I hope so. Anyway. Sorry to derail the conversation. So we're in a root cellar, is that right? Are there any roots? There are many. I start looking for roots. Vegetables is what you describe, right? No, no, no. Toa is looking for roots. Tree roots. You actually are looking around and it seems as if there are

some areas in the wall where the floorboards have been pushed out and there are some roots growing in and out, kind of sneaking in. So that is why they called it Root Cellar. Part of it. All right. That makes sense. There are a lot of trees. So...

Do we just wait down here until Oomlamba? Oh, are you here? I've been here. I followed after them. I thought you were going to take this way. I was very concerned about the tooth fairy. I got scared. I didn't know what to speak. No, back home I used to leave my teeth under my pillows and then wake up in the morning and there would be a tater tots under there. That's

That seems like the opposite. My teeth would be missing. The tooth fairy treats different cultures differently. Maybe tater tots is her way of threatening or warning you. I was going to say that that sounds the opposite of stealing teeth. It's more like open commerce. What are tater tots? Tater tots? They're like potatoes that taper to a point.

Are they used as weapons? Uh, I think you just eat them. They're food. Well anyway, um, so what's the goal? Potatoes. Potatoes. With a name like Tots, I imagined it was a small child. No, we would never talk about eating children. Are they potato children? We'll wait until we have a meeting tonight, and then we can get some rest. Are we just gonna stay here in the cellar? Of course, yeah. The cellar's not so bad.

I'm gonna look around. Is there any casks? Yeah, there are a good number of casks. I'm gonna look. Well, okay, if you say so. And I'm just gonna... You gotta tap a keg. Well, I'm sure Heart won't mind if you do that. If not, I'll pay for you because I'm the one who brought you here. How much does a brute normally go here?

It's three copper pieces. Oh, yeah. We'll cover the cost then if she incurs it. Yeah, we'll drop some gold. We got it. Oh, well, thank you very much. Are you very wealthy? Not terribly. No, but we certainly don't want to impose upon you and your people. You're doing us a huge favor by even risking your lives sneaking us down here. Well, I mean, yes, we are risking our lives, but we do that every day anyway.

Every single day where we are working against the court is a day where we risk disappearing and never returning. Speaking of which, I was gonna say, you deal with this kind of disruption every day just walking down the street like that? Yes. How... You should see the tax collectors. How much are they taking from you? Almost all of it. Almost all of it? Everything you earn? Yes. And grow. And hunt.

Any catch? I look to Toa, and of course the rest of the group, but I'm looking at Toa and I say, If Captain Freeborn were here, he would never allow this. Well, that's why we're here, is to no longer allow it. Isn't that right? I just feel like he would want to be here. I think so too, but he has...

He has a sacred vow at the Lockfeather Lodge and I think that, you know, him... I feel much more comfortable that he's there protecting that seal. Of course. We can still make his eagle scream anytime we want to though, right? We probably shouldn't do that now though. But he's kind of funny, I don't know, he's like just... Well, it would only be as funny as it was that we thought that he thought we were all dying. I mean, that wouldn't be great.

I'll have some of that too, and I'll like temporarily put like a stein underneath the flow of alcohol to like pause the- what Lufty is drinking and then when it's full I'll pull it back so the stream continues. I lay down on the floor next to Lufty and I just stare at her sideways like this and then when she goes for a breath I'm like- She's happy. Regardless, I look forward to hearing what your leader has planned.

Well, so do I. She hasn't told us her plan, but I promised the secret weapon that it would be... Oh, you six. You're sent by... You're endorsed by the magic raven man. We have the secret weapon? Oh. Oh, no. I keep drinking. Yes. We were promised that... This is good. We were promised by the Korovakian military that you'd be able to help us win.

They have access to the whole Talon Guard and they just sent us? We're very powerful! No, that sounds right. We have the power of friendship on our side. That's our secret weapon, is friendship. You have nothing to worry about at all. They could have sent like...

seven or eight, you know, elder members of the Talon Guard. They do not need the Talon Guard. I am all the muscle you need. I promise. I got it gathered. Yeah, we're better than those Talon Guard folk. I said folk. I've like stuck a thumb up in the cask above me while I'm talking. It plugs it for a little bit. It's like putting a spoon under a faucet. It just like...

So, we'll wait. We'll wait until Heart gets here. No one's smarter, braver, or fiercer, ferocious than she is. So, I think we'll be fine. We'll wait until the meeting. I guess it'll be in less than an hour. Is she a furball like you? No, no, no, no. She's a tabaxi. Oh! Oh!

I always knew you maybe have a little friend. No. No? Oh. She is... She looks a lot different from you, though. Yes, you've already told me. You insulted me a bit when you made it known. Known that what? That she is an orange tabaxi. Yes, she is. Yes. But she's very fierce. She's a warrior's heart. That's why her name is Warrior's Heart. Oh. Oh. And yet she spells heart incorrectly.

I think it's spelled correctly, unless I don't- maybe in Kurovaki it's H-A-R-T or maybe H-A-E-R-T? Instead of E-R-T? Hey Caprice, you wanna jam? Sure, what do you wanna play? You lead the way, per usual! I'll take out my ukulele and I'll just gently, quietly... Could we be playing music down here? I don't- I mean, I'd really like it when you guys jam, but is that going to cause a lot of commotion? Underneath the tavern, music seems like the most appropriate types of sounds.

Unless they're taxing that too. Are they taxing the music? I mean, what bands make it? Yeah, they tax. Bastards. Are we hearing commotion upstairs? Yeah, so as you sit and wait, you hear the footsteps on the floorboards. It's not super...

raucous like the taverns that you're used to, but there are a number of individuals that are moving around. You have the sliding and scraping of chairs, the moving of silverware and cutlery and mugs and plates and the like. What time would it be around? It's probably about 536. It's right getting to sunset. 536 is a very specific time. 537. Okay.

It's like 538, so it's like exactly four hours behind where we're at right now. Oh yeah, there you go. There you go. 538. Sure, yeah. Let's play it. Here, here. Do you know this one? Dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly with stories to share. Hey, hey. All through the forest they sing out in chorus, marching along as their song fills the air. Oak and a

Bouncing people there in every open alliance. That was lovely. We work on that one until the end. Eventually it works. Was that about us? Yeah. That's great. You should play that for Hart. Oh, that would be my pleasure.

"Okay, I'll see when people are coming down. Wait right here." And he leaves the up, you see this rickety wooden staircase that goes up to a small door. And he, as the door swings open, you see some light of the glow of the firelight emanating down and illuminating the staircase and then once again goes dark. You all wait a little bit. And then after probably about 20 minutes, it opens again.

you see a number of footsteps, a number of feet start walking down the staircase. One is, one at the lead you recognize to be Umlanda. And then you see another pair of legs that are stepping out from beneath a robe of some sort. The feet seem to be scaled and green. And you see a lizardfolk in a

a hooded and cloak step down following behind the Fearbolt. And then behind him, you see a small pair of feet and you see a forest gnome follow behind and then it closes. And as you're all left alone, or as you're here with these three individuals, the lizard folk looks at all of you and says,

This is the secret weapon. Yeah, what do you think? Weapons? No, the secret weapon is friendship. All of us combined, we are the secret weapon, yes. Or so we're told. Yeah. And what do you propose to do? What is your power?

Well, we're all pretty strong. I mean, we're strong and smart and courageous and royal and beautiful and talented and all of those things. Oh, thank you. Oh, I did not keep one. Oh, she's a drunk.

But she's very good at it. She parties very hard. And you see the lizard's eyes narrow as he surveys you and he looks up at Umlanda and says, I'm just not going to be happy about this. And he's like, no, no, be nice, Farnox. They're fine. I've seen them fight. There was a magma warrior. The delivery on that was perfect. It was a complete accident.

Did you say Farnox? Farnox. F-A-R-N-O-X. Farnox. Farnox. Fart. Fartbox. Fartbox? What are you doing, Mike? It's no longer Farnox. No, because it's now Fartbox. Well, you know what? Fine. It's Farnox. This is your secret weapon. Wait, the lizard? What?

Is this your secret weapon? I'm going to leave this. I'm going to growl from the corner of the dark cellar. Please, Fartbox, we're in a cellar. Sorry, Fartbox. When we say mature shriek, we mean immature shriek. Mikey, please.

We need to know more about fart box. I just have to know, is fart box related to anus? They're cousins. Awesome. Oh, God. Wow.

Did you foresee this happening? You never can when you pick a name and you're like, that's perfect. Next thing you know, fart box. Yikes. Sorry, Mike. I've controlled myself. I've contained myself. I apologize. God, that was good. Thanks, Mike. I needed that. Farnock seems to be pressuring us for information. We can freeze this.

I like your farnocks. Farnocks.

That's serious. I'm here. I'm scared to know what the other one's name is. And what's your name, little forest, now? Peanut! My name's Peanut! I still watch my dreams. I laugh so hard the back of my head hurts. Uh-oh. That's when you know it's good. I know. That was so good. Please continue. Yes.

We didn't mean to tell you all. We don't want to make none of our childish antics. We didn't mean to tell you that our power was friendship and then just laugh for 60 seconds in your face. It's really great imagining the ridiculousness of the situation. The power is friendship. These people are fucking insane.

We didn't say that in the film. He sure doesn't see Grim Reapers. In the reality of the situation, all of our characters are like, yes, Farnox. If only we had hive mind. We'd all be laugh screaming at each other's heads. Oh, boy. Yep. I have to look back in my head. Yep. Sorry. I'm here. I'm ready. Yep. Okay. Okay.

Everyone good? Sure, we'll see. I think you better just plow through or we're gonna keep going. We're gonna linger on this moment. Hang in on a moment. You see the forest gnome speak up as Pharmax looks and shakes his head and just, I do not know why we thought...

that Korovakia would give us the key to our victory. He's like, no, I mean, hold on. Friendship has proven very powerful. I've seen them in action. And if their leader, if the raven man, if he says that they are the ones to help us and to bring us victory, I think that we should believe him. We will see. And he steps back and he...

He shakes his head and mutters under his breath, he's like, "They are not worthy of a character experiment." He's like, "Oh!"

I don't know his character. He's got some... He's being like uber rude. I know that you, and I'm speaking to whoever's in the whole room here, I know that you might doubt us, but if you reference the Raven Man, if you're talking about the High General Zurn, then the things that we've seen him do, he's incredibly powerful. And if he believes in us, then I

I can't help but believe in ourselves a little bit too. That's exactly right. He thinks we're so powerful that he made us his elite stride force called the Wings of the Raven. That's true. We are his sworn warriors to bring peace to the land through the power of friendship. So if he believes in us, I think that that speaks for us. The, uh, Sarnax, uh, not Sarnax. Yeah. Farnox, Farnox.

It's going to be hard. I'm good. Shakes his head and pulls his hood up and just stares. And you see Oolanda extend his hand and nod as the forest gnome looks at all of you. Whoever, make a persuasion check, whoever would like to. I'll make a persuasion check. Why not? That'll be a 23. Looks and says...

Well, I'm sold. Welcome to the Resistance. This is the gnome. This is the gnome. My name is Felix Ackerman. You see the gnome-ish gentleman. He has this dark black hair that's cut short and a thick, bushy black mustache and large eyes as he steps forward and says, Name's Judd. Nice to meet all of you. It's a pleasure to meet you, Judd. I'm Tawa Kamunui.

You don't know what you're up against? No. No. No. Some kind of Aarakocra. I believe that they're in a court. Yeah. That's about it. And it seems like they're taxing you guys pretty heavily and occasionally swooping down and sniping the lives of the various commoners around here. We'd like to put a stop to that right away. Yeah, it sounded terrible. Going through the forest and ah! You know, so forth. Would I know how long this Ocaxian court has existed? I mean, like, throughout the history of...

Striga? Hundreds of years. As long as you've been alive and historically, that's just... They've always been this way. Yeah. And probably longer than the human population. I would say that you know that the...

that they actually dominated a lot more of Striga and that had been pushed back due to squabble and a lot of cities falling and the like. And then a lot of civilization stretching out and cutting down the huge trees and basically pushing the forest back to the land they currently have. I know Umlanda said that this obviously isn't the first attempt at this. And from what I understand about these...

civilization here throughout Striga, we don't really have an easy task ahead of us and probably highly likely that we'll fail, but we're gonna try. I mean... Don't say that, we're not going to fail. They've been doing this for hundreds and hundreds of years and they're just... S'all? They're just slaughtering anybody who... We're gonna try. We're gonna do everything that we can to help you. And the Resistance hasn't had the wings of the Raven on their side until now. Or the wings of liberty.

That's so cool! I'm telling you, Revali's missing out on something good here. We can do it for Revali. Agreed. For Revali. For Captain Freeway. For Captain Freeway! God, he's so cool. Anyway... So what do you... do you know anything about them that would be helpful? Well... They're very secretive from what I've heard. They are. Hart has been there. She says she's seen him. And I think that we may be able to sneak in and try to strike him where it hurts.

We're mustering forces and the town's all over. And we're just... This is just our base, but they're... The Alliance is all over. So even if they strike us down here or in another... Another town, more will rise up. We're recruiting every day and every night. I think that we'll muster enough force that maybe we can overthrow them when the time is right. When we have a rallying cry. This would be a truly, truly historic moment for the land of Striga. I agree. And if...

If Heart thinks you're all up to it, I'll support her. I'll support her decision. And as soon as you hear that, you hear footsteps above you as they seem to be softer, but they stop directly before the door. And then it's like, oh, that's her now. And you see the door open and a shadow get cast. This large looming shadow of this figure in black.

in heavy armor, and is cast down, illuminated in the cellar from the stairwell above. And a figure steps down as the door shuts, darkness returning except for the lantern light. And as a tabaxi steps down, you realize that the shadow projecting was actually far larger. And what you see before you is a orange tabaxi with bright green eyes that's no taller than Herja or Lufty.

And she seems to be wearing heavy armor, however, and a large sword at her hip. As she steps down, her tail flicking back and forth, and she... Hi, you must be Hart. You were sent by Korvarkian military agents. Yeah. Yes. And who sent you, little one?

And everyone gasps and shakes their head and you see the other two shake their head and put up their arms and like immediately like and her eyes narrow. Who are you calling little? You're not so big yourself.

Well, that's true. Child, we're about the same height, right? Yeah, she's a little shorter than you are. Okay. I'm gonna like up on my tippy toes a little bit and be like, excuse me, I just meant to say, where are you from? You don't have to get so offended. I was born and raised here like everyone else. You've been sent by the Raven Man. By the High General, yes. And her eyes scan over and she turns and looks at you, Iris, and she finally kind of registers as her eyes grow wide.

and she looks up at you and says, "Oh my gosh, a tabaxi!" Yes, darling. "I've never seen a black tabaxi! Where are you from?" That is like the second time I've heard that today. I'm from Nekbet. All the way from Nekbet? Yes, darling. Are you all from all over the world? More or less, yes. I'm from Galtica. We're from Jona. I'm from Kirstein, so not that far. Born and raised here in Striga.

That's so cool! Is everyone as tall as you are in Nekbet? Most taller, to be quite honest. I'm the shortest of my family. That's amazing. I think that we'd probably be taller if most of our food didn't get taxed by the court. And that's why we're gonna cut him down. So do you have like the horrible raven powers like the Raven Man does? We have our own selection of powers. Some of them are raven-y.

The Raven Queen certainly looks over us, as do other gods and people who have helped us throughout our journey.

I guess that's okay. Are these guys good in the scrap?" And she turns to, um, Unlanda and he, uh, nods and smiles with like a big thumbs up. "Yeah, they were great. There was a huge man, uh, bigger than me and this one here, and he turned into a lava man and we beat him and they knocked off his jaw. It was very intimidating. Even though they were on my side, I was very grateful." And, uh, as he finishes talking,

You see a heart look around and... You know what? I think I have a good feeling about you guys. You guys seem like you're pretty cool, like you've seen some things. Yeah, I've seen many things. Yeah, we've seen some stuff. Yeah, we've seen some shit. Yeah. So, you weren't seeing it coming here, were you? We don't think so, but you never know what you don't know, you know? Umlanta took very good care to try to get us down here in the cellar as quietly as possible. Yeah.

Smell me. Well, you smell like foxes. Yeah, see? We came in in a big pile of dead fox. Well, what we'll do is we'll discuss the resources that we have and our plans. Tomorrow, you look very rough and... uh, 'cause this is... you have not enjoyed a long rest and you're... you're... so you're pretty... You're feeling a little tired. I can tell. Whatever... whatever you encountered was... was... was really tough.

So it's really cool that you guys killed it and if he was a big lava man. I've never seen a big lava man. We didn't kill it because he got away. But we beat him up pretty bad. Yeah, he doesn't have a lower jaw now and that means he can't really enjoy most foodstuffs, which is great. He probably starved to death. If you see another Goliath with red tattoos walking around, let us know because we've got a debt to settle.

We'll keep an eye out. Yes, that's true. That was cool. I'll- Just stay down. I'll talk to my sources in the other towns to make sure that they keep an eye out for any goliath that isn't this guy. And probably any goliath, because if someone sees you and I don't know about it at this point, it's probably a bad sign, right? Yes. So how can we help? What can we do in the immediate future to further your plans? What I think we should do is we gotta find a way to get into Kaliri, which is their capital city.

And if we can go in under the cover of darkness, the cult of Garrix on our side, and if we can light a fire big enough that the whole forest can see, all the small folk will rise up, and they'll start cutting down and clipping the wings of the owls. I can help with that. I'm pretty good with fire. What's the name of the capital city again? K'leeri. K-A-L-I-R-I. K-A-L-I-R-I. K'leeri. K'leeri.

So I'm not familiar with Garrix, or maybe I am, I don't know. But why, do you guys worship him? Or is this like an alliance? Well, many of the servants of Garrix are in the Woodland Alliance, and Afarnax here is the representative in this town. And he'll try to convert you, but you don't have to worship him.

And Farnox looks and his eyes narrow and he kind of huffs a little bit. And he says, I don't think that Garrix would much care for them anyway. And she waves her paw at him and says, shut up. Well, what I will say is that Meridian is very all encompassing and that if you ever had any doubts with your god, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to bless you.

And Farnak steps forward and says, Does your dwarf god intend to help us bring fire to burn down the Great Ares of the Caxian Court? I don't use fire, but Dakota's Bless by Muradin was forged by my dad, who was a forge cleric of Muradin. And she has been very handy in alerting us to enemies that are nearby and

Kicking some serious ass. Well, while you are kicking ass with your dwarf god, I will bring the blessing of my god to bring down the great Ares of the court. We will burn their trees. We will burn them. I was gonna pose the question, and I didn't want to seem insensitive. Why don't we just burn it all down? I mean, except for the fact that we value life and we don't want to hurt innocent people, there's no way to get all of the innocents out in time. But, I mean, they've got to be pretty vulnerable up in a bunch of... They're living in kindling.

We have tried over the years, but starting a fire at the base of the trees does no good. We'll be slaughtered and the fires will be put out before it ever gets to any of them. It needs to be started from the heart of their cities. Well, if that's the plan, I'm your guy. And that is what we will do. We will show them the power of fire. The power of the Fire Lord. The power of destruction. Well, I don't think we have to destroy everything that sounds like super evil.

Is there a way that we can pull them out of the trees and not burn everything to the ground? There's probably other things and people just like you all that live in the forest, no? And he burns. And he cringes. And you see hatred come over him. He grits his teeth. Vile and feathered. That assumes themselves to be an innocent or a civilian is mistaken. They stand by and do their thing as we on the forest floor suffer.

They are as guilty as the ones with the swords and the spears and the bows. It is not for mortals to judge the guilt of others. It is for the gods. And my god's fire will burn all the same. Just so I understand though, this is a tactical strike and we're lighting a signal fire. Yes. Alright. Fire is wild in its destruction, but the renewal that will come, fire burns everything to ash. It will be far more beautiful and worth all of the sacrifice and cost.

Thor, how do you feel about this? I've seen the power of the fire and the Fire Lord. It's a great dragon god. And the fire that we need will be the rallying cry for all of the common folk on the fourth floor to take up arms. If we weren't beaten into submission, we could easily take the Aarakocra. Essentially let them rule us. If we all rose up at the exact same time, they wouldn't be able to handle our numbers. There's way more of us than there are of them.

But people live in fear. And a signal fire from Garrix will be the sign. We won't be subjugated anymore. So, from an outsider's perspective, it sounds like you're giving us two options. You speak of a signal fire. Your friend...

Phonox, Phorox, whatever, speaks of burning the entire forest to the ground. Which is the solution you are proposing to us? I will not burn the entire forest. Just their treetop cities and their great Eres. That is all I seek to do. This forest is my home. This is the rest. My ancestors have been subjugated as well as everyone else in this room for generations. Is that revenge not worthwhile? Is that not justice?

The executions. We do not get trials if we are suspected of treason. Why should they? Is there any hierarchy that we should know about from the main city? Maybe rather than so many potentially being at risk of dying, we could just target the person or people in charge? With your Caxian Court, is that you cut off one head and one pops right back up. And Heart steps forward and nods.

There is always a new leader in charge. Every, seems like every couple of years. But when one group betrays the other, or maybe one falls out of favor and is deposed, another leader just steps up. There are dozens, dozens of houses, dozens of nobles waiting to be in charge, to be the ones to bring even more glory to the court, to tax even more.

Well, I think regardless, we're on a mission from the High General. So you just point us where to go and we'll do whatever we need to do to help you out. Okay. Can I trust you? Yes, of course. She looks at all of you. Can we make a group persuasion check, please? Uh, natural 20. Gotta give it up. Oh, you said persuasion? Persuasion. I got a 13. A 13, got it.

23. Ooh, 15. Four. 28. 28. 20 might be. Okay. So she, uh, she, uh, nods at all of you and says, Well, I know that Rwanda has been working with the humans for a long time, and he trusts them. He tells us that their military has our best interests at heart, and that they really care about our struggles here.

And the fact that you all have been sent from so far away, from all over the world, tells me that I can trust all of you. And I really want to say thank you for coming all the way here. Thank you for having us. Of course. We're going to help you in any way that we can. I guess we should all get some rest. Yes. And I'll send word to some of the other towns that the heroes, the saviors have arrived.

I would not give them our names. Maybe just so that we remain anonymous. You're welcome to give them. What are your names? Well, I, uh, sorry, I introduced myself to the others. I'm Felix Ackerman. Felix. I'm Toa Kamenui. Toa. It's a pleasure to meet you. Toa. Capriccio de Sesto. You can call me Caprice. Caprice. Wow, that's an interesting name. Thanks. Caprice? Yeah. Is that a girl's name?

Uh, no. Right now it's another guy's name. Okay. Right, I guess so. That's fine. That's a good answer. Hello, I'm Lufty. I'm Hersha Ambleheart. Nice to meet you. Hersha. Iris of the Sands. Iris of the Sands. You may call me Iris. Iris. Of the Sands. Of the Sands. What are some of your babies from the Sands clan? Yes. That's cool. Mine is the Heroes clan. And I'm Heroes Heart.

You can call me Heart, though. So cute. I'm assuming that we're going to be sleeping here for the night. Are you and your crew and Umlanda going away and leaving us here, or is anyone staying with us? You're here. I live here. I run this inn. So I'll be right upstairs. You're safe here. But I guess my question is, will the six of us alone be sleeping down here? We have ways to protect and guard ourselves. I just didn't know if anyone would be coming or going.

Rhonda said for certain that didn't think we're being followed. So I think you're fine down here for the night. That's fine. That's fine. I just didn't know if anyone would be joining us or if it was just this... It's fine. Thank you. We appreciate your hospitality. Thank you so much. Yeah. We'll get some rest and we'll be ready in the morning. Rhonda, I'd like to compliment you on your lovely selection of ales. We'll pay for that if you notice it's a little lower than usual.

It's fine. You guys are the heroes from The Raven Man. We're not going to be taking things for free. We'll pay you. Let us know what we owe you and we'll take care of it. For real, though. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legendsofavantress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks, including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. Shroud over saltwater.

You can also go to thecrookedmoon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement, The Crooked Moon, a folk horror tome for Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. They're done. I was going to, like, alarm, you know, the...

areas and stuff when we're alone. I'm waiting to see if the six of us are going to end up alone in the basement. I'm gonna take a loop around and just make sure it's just the two doors. The one that they came down and the one that we came down from outside. Make an investigation check. Okay. And as the group turns to leave, the gnome... Was that? Twelve. Twelve, okay. The gnome turns and says...

It's good to have the heroes from Korvaki come help us out. We've been here without a leg to stand on for so long. I finally have a little bit of hope in my heart. Good night. He steps out and leaves, and then Farnox turns and hears all of you and says, Perhaps you all will see the power of Garrix and the power of fire, and will understand what we have had to deal with for centuries. Hopefully,

And he turns and walks up and leaves. And then Umlanda says, It's been fun. I'll be back.

I need to go check on my wares. See if I can start off trapping and hunting again. At least a little bit in the morning. Good night. Good night. Good night. Thanks for being our escort. It's been good. It'll be weird to get back to work. And he nods. Well, sleep well. It's not as bad down here as it seems. It's dry. I've slept down here a few times. It's lovely. We appreciate it. Thank you.

Okay, well, goodbye. Thank you. And he steps up and leaves, leaving just Ysix and Heart. And you see the little orange tabaxi. He seems to be not much older than, you know, maybe early 20s or late teens in human years, at the very least. And she does kind of a once-over and says, It's good to have this secret weapon. I'm feeling good about this. This is so cool.

Anyway, goodnight. Goodnight. Welcome to my- Thanks. Thanks. Goodnight. Maybe when this is all done I can play a set. Yeah, that'd be great. Great. Yeah, well, after we take them down we're free again. Would you like to sing that song about the miniatures?

It's a little... I mean, I can... Prelude to what you can do. Would you like to hear something before you... I feel like we probably should just... She got kind of offended when I called her little, so maybe don't... No, it's the miniatures. Oh, that's a fair point. I'll have to... Miniature's not about, like, tabaxi, right? No, no, it's about small... Not about me, right? Custom carved models that are used in the...

On tabletops, that kind of thing. I don't know what those are. Well, I bought a set. We can tell you in the morning. Have a good night. Have a good night. Good night. And she nods at all of you and gives you one more thumbs up. And she walks back up. You hear like the clanging of her arm. It's a little bit too big for her. As she steps up and the door opens and closes. So cute. So cute.

You're left alone. Well, we need to discuss, but I'm going to start by alarming the doors, and that includes anybody that isn't the six of us. Not to say that I don't trust them, but we need to be aware if anybody's coming down here in the middle of the night while we're sleeping. Are you going to send an alarm by the doors, or are you actually going to startle the doors? The former. Okay. But go ahead and start talking, and I'll do my thing, and I'll chime in.

When I can. And I'm gonna find both entrances and cast Alarm on them. And it will just be a silent alarm through our heads if anybody breaches it that's not the six of us. So yeah, you go to the small door that leads up to a back room in the inn. You grip your dagger and you run a line as your finger glows and the door is alarmed.

It's gonna take 20 minutes for each one, or 10 minutes total for each door. And then the cellar door, you walk up the stairs and you reach up to the large door and ring your finger all along it, and you feel that these doors have been fully secured. She got a 12 for investigation. Investigation. You poke around and a lot of the, there's a lot of boxes and crates and barrels, but from what you can tell from your investigation, there doesn't seem to be any immediate other entrances. Okay.

So we can move in and out of these alarms, Felix, if we need to go to the bathroom? We can, yes, but no one else. We'll all be alerted, whether awake or asleep. I just don't know what the best way would be for me to go number one or number two without being caught or interrupted by one of those owl creatures. It might be fine to just use the inn upstairs. It might be fine. I don't know, but...

Should I fold it till the morning? I'm gonna set out my figurines and pray, just get a sense to feel like, is anything different from what I felt this morning? Okay. Make a religion check and a nature check. You can probably just number one and number two in some of this flower here. It's self-cloning. 19's on both. Okay. That's a 1 in 400 chance. And...

You place out your figurines and you commune with the wind spirits as it whips around. And as you commune, the whirling around you gets stronger and you feel a sense of... You feel the sense of dread that you had once felt is still there, but dulled compared to the previous morning. Got it.

I'll make my little bed and I'll... settle down. I... I don't... If you want to sleep, that's fine. I just had some thoughts. Are we not worried about what we... I don't want to stop you. I just... I mean, I think that it's about... I think that we have a mission. And we've learned all we can. And I think that, you know, I'm convinced that when we wake up tomorrow, we just go on our mission and we do as we're told and we help them out.

So... that's kind of my problem is that... and please, anybody, stop me if you feel otherwise, but I've taken orders my whole life and I understand what it means to follow orders and just do what you're told.

But this Farnox guy, he concerns me. I want to help these people. They're very clearly living horrible lives under the oppression of these Aarakocra. But what he's talking about is nothing but wanton slaughter and genocide. I won't be a part of it again. No, I agree. I did have a good feeling about it. And I think we could probably learn more about...

these air croaking and how they run their society and I don't think that we have to just smoke them out this way. The problem stems from what Hart said about how it doesn't matter what...

we do to one individual head of state, another one just pops up, that causes massive problems for what we're trying to do. And it's very complex and I don't like it and I'm worried, I'm very concerned. And I know what I said earlier was not necessarily the most uplifting thing that we might just fail, but it's true. It's realistic. These people have survived for hundreds and hundreds of years and there's nothing to say that we're gonna make any difference.

I think we have to break the wheel. They're assigning a new person every time some other one gets killed or dies. I think we need to learn more about what that process looks like. Maybe they're forced into doing it. Maybe there's some sort of sacrifice. Maybe they don't have a choice and they're just thrust forward as some sort of sacrifice and taking on this role so that they keep up this image for the rest of their people.

that this is something honorable, and it's not. And I think if we talk to the right people, we may be able to make peace with this, and not have to result in an all-out war. Maybe some fresh blood up there would, you know, shape things up a little.

I want to help them, T'oh, I do. I just don't know what the right answer is. Well, I know that we are on a mission from our General Zurn and these people that we plan to topple, they seem very evil indeed and they execute people without any kind of trial. That alone is enough justification to help these people. That's all I need. I'm at peace with it. And if the little lizard gets, you know, carried away, we'll stop him. It's just one guy.

And says, you know, six of us. What if one of us takes ownership? And we assume the role of this person in power. Somehow we trick them into it. Then we tell them enough of this bullshit. No more of this nonsense. We institute our own taxes now. Yeah. We're in charge. I like that. Maybe we don't, we can avoid all the killing. We're not birds. We're not a cobra. We have

a really talented bard, goddammit, we could make ourselves look like one. Talented for an hour at a time or so. Yeah, I could look like an Aravokra and I could, you know, assert myself in a greedy way. And the moment that you have to leave, you think they're going to abide by your laws? Do you know what it, do any of you know what it takes to rule, to lead? You can step off of the throne and expect everything you change to stay the way it is. Another one of them will immediately take its place. You could assign it to another one.

And you think that you would be able to figure out their moral merit in about a day or two or a week? It's worth a shot. It sounds better than killing them all. And then they choose, well, we will kill this one that they instated, and then it's right back to the same thing. If your hope is to leave these people to deal with this forever, then that's a grand idea. Cities are not born from kindness. They're born from fire. They're born from war.

And sometimes blood has to be shed to save the innocent. And that is an unfortunate thing. Lufthi, you know this. You've seen Dati ride off to war and fight for the lands of Sikhet. He's a kind and just leader. But we haven't always had one as such. And sometimes, lands do not have someone like Dati to take care of them. And they need someone like us.

I just want to know what happens to the people who get taken up there before we make any major moves. There's a second half to this story, and if this has been the situation for hundreds of years, as terrible as the taxes have been and as the depression is down here in the forest floor, it's been felt, I feel like I want to find out a little bit more about what's going on up there before we make any major political chess moves, even if it is in the name of certain people.

Yeah, we don't know enough and they haven't told us enough either. We just got here. So I said we ask them more questions and I would agree to a trek up to the treetops. They said that Hart went up there, did she not? Yeah, I wondered how they got up there. You'll have to ask her. I've always been climbed. Tabaxi can climb.

Now, my question, however, is when Zurn told us that we were making this trip, I do not remember him saying anything about how we were going to fight in a political coup. I believe that our task was actually to protect one of the seals, and I do not believe that that has anything to do with what is happening here. So my entire point about war was not that I want to fight in one. No.

It was that if we are going to get involved and we want to save these people, that it has to be fought. My point now is that is it our place to be getting involved in their political feud to begin with when we have a much larger matter at hand? Is getting involved in the feud not exactly why we were sent to the front lines and here by Zurn?

My understanding was that we were coming this way to protect the seal. That there were 13 seals and that one of them was already potentially... We already know one was attacked where Ravioli is from, at the lodge. And that this was another one we needed to protect.

And I don't see how protecting it goes hand in hand with us potentially dying trying to save the people of this forest. When to be quite honest, if I were, though I'm not a good person to be saying this as I am royalty, but if I were living in a situation like this and people were being picked out of the sky, I would simply leave. If they're not here to pick out of the forest floor and to pay these taxes, then what do the Al-Arakokra have? Just leave.

And go where? I think the information is that they'll be killed if they try to leave.

This government seems terrible. It does, but is it our fight? We were told by General Thurman that our mission here was yes to keep after the seal, but also... But did he mention anything about the seal? Because I don't remember him doing so. So I'm getting conflicting information. No, no, Zurn mentioned the seal, but part of our mission is... it's two-fold. It's to protect the seal, but also to... To help the resistance. To help the resistance.

and potentially topple this government because the Okexian court is a direct threat to the Cora Vahkian military. You saw the evidence of the endless war, the countless lives being lost. If we can install a resistance, we can end war, on this border at least. You'll never end war. I know we won't end war, but if we can save the lives of countless soldiers on both sides,

Why wouldn't we? And I don't think it's just that. They said that the... Owls are after something weird. There's more that we don't know. These... These owl... Windbenders, they've... They're using the wind spirits... The sacred wind spirits of my islands... To their own will. They need to be... Deposed! I hope you don't think for a moment that I was saying that I wouldn't help you get the wind spirits back. And I don't think so, but my point is... These are evil, evil, evil...

They execute people. They text people relentlessly. And they've been warring with their neighboring countries for millennia, apparently. Even the people who we've talked to down here haven't seen anyone get executed. They're themselves making an assumption. I think it's a correct assumption, but I'm just saying I want to find out the other side of the story before we jump to any conclusions as to what our actions should be.

I agree. I think everybody just cool out. I'm going to sleep. That's a good idea. I walk over to the cake that you originally tapped and I uncork it and pour myself another stein. I told you I owed you a stein and here you go. Aw, thanks Caprice. I'm feeling kind of full but I'll drink this anyway. There's always room for one more. Like Jell-O.

There's always room for Jello and Eel. I'm gonna take a little time and like put some flower bags together and like just kind of drape a canopy of like cheesecloth over the top of it and like roll the bedroll on top and... Eyeless, I made this for you! And like show you. It needs to be a little fluffier. Can you put her shirt beneath it? Beneath it? Like put the flower on me and then I'm lying beneath the flower bags?

What you could put on her arm? I'm gonna leave the flower. Squish her a little bit and then squish the flower bag and... I think maybe you... No. Flower, then you. Persia, then Beverly. Then you. And then me. Oh. Yes? Yes.

I don't want to get like a, you know, princess and the pea situation. What is this? You might get a lump. Oh, you think Hersha is going to urinate in the bed? You're probably right. Oh, not that deep. Let's not put her on there. You go ahead and lay down on the bed mat and then I will get on top. It's okay if she keeps flowers self-clumping. No, but I might roll over and then we'll tumble over. I might, because I drank a lot of ale. I'm going to sleep over here. I'm going to spin around a couple of times and then go to sleep.

Princess Hoosier? I'm still down for the plan. I'll lay down on the flower and be like, okay, first me, then you guys. I flop on the flower pile. And we go to bed? I said, and we go to bed? I'm just going to fall asleep on top of the barrel, kind of hugging it. You wake up, and you're rolling on a cart, your hands bound. Damn you!

Is this Skyrim 2? You are awake. You are awake. Oh, is this a new campaign? Can I play a Skyrim? Look at your face. Why do you look so terrible? You're so busted. Why? One Skyrim. I want to play one Skyrim. Holy shit. So Mike, we went to bed. We finished our playing. Yeah, we went to bed.

Is there any watch? No. Nope. We have Alarm. We've got Alarm and Hersha. No, we're about to be betrayed horribly. And you did both of the doors. Both of the doors. We 100% are about to get betrayed super hard. I just want you to know that. That's okay. I'm calling it fucking now as a player, but not as a person. Okay. As you all settle in for the night...

It's really just sunset. And so you still hear footsteps and movement and it actually starts to get a little bit more rowdy and rambunctious as you settle in, but it's been a long, long, long day for you. And so it's just, like not even quite past sunset at this point. But you settle in. And as you all drift off to sleep, you enjoy the benefits of a long rest. - Yes.

With D&D Beyond... Taking a long rest is a sitch! I don't click two buttons until you get an error code. A sitch, a sitch. When our max HP drops back down to the regular number. Yes. You all awaken. Not... Well, in the morning, yes, but it's still at night. The sun has not risen and probably won't for several more hours. And you awaken and it seems as if the... As if the...

All of the commotion from upstairs of the patrons has all drifted out and it's relatively quiet on the floorboards above you. Has anyone tried to come downstairs? Well, the alarm lasts for a long-ass time. Let me check here. It lasts for eight hours. It would, like, wake us up, right? Yes, very much so. It's a silent alarm in all of your heads. So basically, like, you're sitting there and all of a sudden you're...

Just like that. Just in your head. But like ten times louder and even more like nails on a chalkboard. Mark. Yeah. Ing. Yeah. Bird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mark Ing. Bird. Don't everybody have you heard? Have you heard? Yeah. So that's what you hear in your head. That sounds good. Or the most annoying way to wake anybody up. Up and at him, at him. Up and at him, at him. Up and at him, at him. Up and at him, at him.

Damn, I am on a roll with the heist. Yeah, well, I'm not. I'm crushing it. I've lost all of my money. I'm at one gold. Are you? Yeah. You should not do that. I have not been able to get over 100 gold in, like, two months. I'm going to spend the first hour while we're getting ready to prepare my spells. Okay. Ice knife. I can't believe I didn't have ice knife. I'm such an idiot.

Yeah, you see Felix spending, you know, an hour preparing his spells, reading through his spell book, and... I've dragged the pile of flower bags back to the corners and collapsed the futon, pulled up the... I'm gonna wake up kind of a little groggy. I'm gonna fill another cup with ale and...

Thou shalt not have any regrets in the morning. Take a drink. Hair of the dog there, Lupe? Hair of the dog. I'm hitting my tuning fork and sort of tuning my viola. Just practicing, you know, future tunes potentially.

This is a dumb question, but is a tuning fork actually for that? Yeah. It is? Yeah, it's literally two lengths of metal, and when you hit it, it's a natural C. It's like the dead middle of the octave, right? And so when you tune it, if you have perfect pitch, you should be able to hit any of the other... They do make them in all different...

Thinking of a divining rod, which is also two sticks, but you hold onto them and that's also, I think, technically just an old wives tale. I don't think there's such a thing as a stick that'll take you to water. But they're very similar in shape. I will give you. Okay. And then I am going to set up my space for worship. I'm going to get out my lamp and I'm going to cast augury. Okay. And so as I'm down praying...

Lord of Judgment, please tell me if I'm on the right path. Should we interfere and show judgment to the Okaxian court? You see Iris awaken and place out the oil lamp and a flame lights. And Iris, you lean down and do your usual prayer rituals and you stare into the flame as you always do. And you...

Wheels the good, woes the bad. Yes. You... So I'm basically asking if I should unleash his judgment on the Okaxian court. Actually, with that, could you also give me a religion check? It's basically wheelie or won't we? I said religion. Yeah. I like that. 18. 18. So as you stare...

You feel in your heart of hearts, here in the back of your head, wheel. However you stare and you see something in the flame, storm clouds, fluttering of wings, lightning bolt zap down and you feel an incredible sense of danger. Danger. Danger is imminent. - Danger wheel. - I'm gonna blow out my lamp.

We need to speak this morning before we communicate with those above. Oh, sure, sure. What do you want to talk about? I have queried Anubis. He is the Lord of the Underworld in certain ways, and the God of Judgment. Mm-hmm. And he normally does not speak so firmly with me, but I asked him if we should rain down his judgment on the Okaxian court.

and I have never felt more stronger affirmation than that which he gave me this morning. But he did not stop there. He showed me the storms, lightning, and danger. Insurmountable danger. This will not be easy. Whatever they are doing, it is evil. It is pure evil. If not for the people beneath the boughs of those trees, for all of the Vantress, I believe that those Aarakocra need to be stopped.

I think that the symbols, the storm and the lightning, might tie to your wind spirits, Toa. And I wonder, Luffy, if it has something to do with you being a genasi. You think so? I'm not sure. I don't believe that we all found ourselves together for no reason. I do believe in fate. I believe that the gods play their hand and they lead us where... Like your little miniatures, chess pieces, on a large board of life.

And I don't think that you found your way to Sikhet by chance. And I don't think we found our way here by chance. No, Caprice only pawned in being a playboy. Are you speaking of yourself in the third person? Yeah, well, I'm trying to make a reference to the film Lazing Saddles, but please continue. No, no, no, I was just confused. Please, continue. I don't think you've ever done that before. I've already done it. It's fast. Well, Iris...

Sorry, go ahead. Would have loved your reference. Oh, Caprice only pawn in Game of Life is what I was trying to say. Lovely. I apologize for... Iris apologizes for interrupting Caprice. So you say danger's imminent? I do believe so. We need to warn them right away. The feeling I have in the pit of my stomach is one I do not like. Your god has never led you astray. He's not. We need to go right now. And I start to run up the stairs. Please, wait. Stop.

Being hasty will only lead us more quickly into trouble. Have you forgotten that if you step out there, they might just swoop down and kill you? Not outside! Up these stairs into the inn. You do not know who sits at that inn. Thank you, Iris. Whose eyes may see you and spread the word. Is there an entrance straight up to the inn or do you have to go out and around? No, straight up to the inn, there's two.

Can we contact them somehow? They will be down here as soon as they can. We have to be patient, okay? Now I know that Anubis is not your god. And I don't expect you to trust him the way that I do. But I hope that you trust me. And you know that to this point I've done all that I can to keep you all alive. And though I may be brash, and I might have feelings about the way some of you live your life...

I do care about all of you immensely. And if I did not believe that what Anubis is telling me is the truth, I would not even bring it out. Caprice thanks you for your input. Iris appreciates the thanking that you have provided her. Indeed. Indeed, for sure. I don't know what either of you are doing, but you saved my life. Neither do I. And I trust you, and I trust your judgment, as I trust Toa's judgment, and I trust all of your judgment. I just want to make sure that we're all on the same page here.

So we're all right with fighting these people and potentially just burning them all. I'm still going to learn more. I'm not going to take any hostile action, even with Anubis' blessing, until we find out exactly what they're up to up there. I'm not asking you to. I guess I know where Toa stands. I'm asking where you stand. All lives end in death. All of them. If we need to be the bringer of death to these people, it is up to Anubis to judge their lives and not me.

Do you define a life as mortal? Because there's some lives that certainly don't end in a general way. No, of course. I'm speaking for mortals. Oh, okay. That is what we're dealing with currently. I just wanted to clarify. Sorry. But if Anubis has tasked us with being his reaper of souls, then I will don that hood. What if we're not dealing with mortals? I hope when we get to the top of those canopies that we find Candy Mountain. Oh, we won't, darling. Okay.

But I hope that it is not as gruesome as horrific and horrific as I imagine it will be. Well no matter what happens, I promise to have all of your backs. That's all I can say at this point. Now I do agree with Caprice that I do not believe that this is something that we rush into willy-nilly. We need to acquire information, we need to do some scouting, we need to discern for ourselves the machinations that these foul creatures have gotten themselves into. You know willy-nilly?

I'm sorry, what? You know Willy? Who's Willy? You just said Willy Nilly. That's the name of the guy who told me about Suckball's Mountain. As I was saying, I believe that we should talk about this further. Well, I want to look around a little bit up there. I don't want to just get up there and burn it down. This is one of the few places I haven't seen in my travels, and I've kind of been looking forward to it. It's a little bit of a bummer that everybody kind of sucks up there, but...

Well, let's get up there. As soon as they come down here, we'll make our way up and hopefully we'll be able to see what we see. Yeah, it sounds pretty badass if it wasn't for the horrible oppression. It's kind of awesome. Yeah. Well, yeah. Is that to say? 100%. Okay. I'll continue tuning my viola. You wait a little bit. Let's get a group reception check, Gorman. I don't want to. I don't want to.

Fucking heaven. Oh no. 16. I suck. Thanks. 12. 17. Oh, I lied. I got a 12. 13. 13. I'm just sitting, feeling very uneasy and just with that pit of danger in my stomach and sort of just my danger sense is super high alert. Is it visibly obvious that you are nervous? Yes. I will come sit beside you and rub your back. Toe it. Not necessarily nervous, but just sort of like

I guess kind of anxious, but sort of like, like, ready to go and like really kind of itching to sort of like figure out

Wanting some kind of resolution of the danger that's coming. And I'm just sitting and tuning my instrument and thinking, man, it smells really like a fart box in here. Toa, I can't imagine what you must be going through, having dealt with that situation yesterday in Makutu. But know that I felt the same woe that you're feeling this morning. And that you are not alone. You have us with you.

Well, I appreciate that and I know we can handle whatever comes our way. I'm just... I just have this horrible feeling and after you confirmed it I just feel like something terrible is about to happen. But you know, the thing that made the light shine in the darkness of the storm that you showed me? It was that he is on the side of your spirits and with that we can be aligned.

I will watch over you. That's very comforting to hear, thank you. And I will do what I can to protect you. And I do believe that Anubis has judged your heart the way that I have. That it is good. Thank you. Now let's save as many people as we possibly can. Yes.

including those wind spirits of yours and show that Matutu where he can shove it it's an ass joke he can shove it in his ass because he toots yes Matutu exactly Toa is this when we high five each other yes we need to get a part two oh no you didn't show me last night Caprice

There wouldn't have been time. Okay, let's go. Let's do this. Like so, and then up, and then under. No, so the last time we did this, you smacked when I did not. Okay. Okay. All right. Let's go. All right. One, two. Up, and then here. Here. And then down. And then again. How...

How? Down and then one more? No, and then flip the other hand down. Yep, at that, correct? Okay, yes. And then hip. And then hip. And then snap. Oh, with the same one? Yeah, snap like that, and then back again. Yes. And then we do it all over again. No.

The one is good enough, and I think that I was spectacular at it. I think you, yeah, you enable us. You were the best. I watched. You get a gold star, and I do this with my thumb in minor illusion, a gold star. Oh, mommy would be so proud. She always said that I was born to be a performer. You should hear me sing. I mean, I couldn't. I would love to hear you sing. Do you know any songs? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

I like hide my tuning fork from you. Mommy always said I had a natural born talent. But you know, I don't want to steal the show from you. That was really good. Thank you, darling. I know. It's with that you hear several footsteps from upstairs and they stop in front of the door and it opens and

A head pokes in and you see the furry orange cat head of Horace. Is everything okay down here? Is there someone dying? What's new? No, is everything all right up there? We have information. Can you come down? Can we please come up? Or can you come down? We have her up. I'll come down here. I'll come down here. I haven't closed on the- Which way? Which way?

I haven't shut the windows yet. Oh yeah, I'll come down. Which way do you want? She closes the door behind her, she steps down. Closetown. Clattering. Clattering as she steps down and says, and you can see that as she makes her way downstairs that she's moving a little bit slower. She seems very tired and she steps forward a little bit. Okay, what's up? Are you okay?

I couldn't sleep last night. Oh no darling, why? What's the matter? I have a bad feeling. Me too! Why? That is exactly what we were going to talk to you about. I queried Anubis and he told me that horrific things were coming our way. Isn't that great news?

No. Oh, I just mean that it confirms everything that you were saying. That we should make a move on the Okaxian court. Is there some way we can look out? Just to make sure nothing terrible has already happened or about to happen? Or it means that we know that the horrible things are coming and we can get a jump on it. So instead of waiting until whenever you were going to wait to let us know what to do, you should tell us now so that we can hurry about the business. From...

Well, horrible storms are coming for sure. Yeah, it could have been me snoring.

Do you think it was a natural phenomenon like an earthquake or a creature? What if it was Moktootoot? Moktootoo? Yes. Remember how he rumbled the earth when he left? What if he put a honing beacon on you, Joah? I immediately get on all fours and I put my ear to the ground to see if I hear any rumbling. Everyone stops as they watch Herja lean down.

Face down ass up. That's the way she likes to hear. Make a perception check. You hear anything? Nope, nope, keep listening. A little longer. 12. 12. Can you listen a little more vertical? And, and, uh, Heart steps back a little bit as everyone is quiet. And Herja places her ear to the floor of the cellar. And you wait. And you listen.

And suddenly, a massive crash of thunder appears, echoes out above the inn. It sounds like it's directly above the town. And suddenly you hear a and some sort of explosion directly above you. And Heart looks around. The inn starts to shake as Heart looks around. What's happening? What's happening? Tula. It was worth my time.

No, well, yes, but also no. If they were, we would have all been blown away, so I believe you. Okay, okay. And the shaking, as soon as it stops, and you hear another... There's another thunder clap. Almost shakes the building all around you. Heart is looking around. She draws her sword. And she says, I need to get my shield. Where's your shield?

It's upstairs. I'll go get it. I'll be fine. Use that feline agility, darling. Run. Don't let her go alone. No, I'm coming with you. And I take my totem and I'm right behind her. And as soon as she starts to go up, you start hearing screams from above, seemingly outside of the inn. As the door opens and the...

You remember the glow of fire illuminating. You see a much brighter roaring blaze illuminating. Oh no! He need to go now! I'm gonna get my shield! I'm gonna follow Toa. I'm gonna follow...

Felix. Okay. She uses, she takes Iris' advice and she sprints off, a little bit slowed down by her heavy armor, as she runs up. You all emerge from the cellar and you open the door and you see a very quaint inn and the windows...

you see once again a bright flash of lightning as it zaps down and hits a pile of wood. And you see a number of humanoids all running around screaming as every single lightning strike. Here we go. As the... No, that's not right. I'm sorry. Musical chairs. But the music songs. Here we go. And...

The...the...there is a horrible chaos outside. You see humanoids running around and as another lightning strike hits and flashes, you see the dark silhouettes illuminated. Winged humanoids, swords drawn, spears, as you see Owl Aarakogar swooping down as a

a, uh, a fear bulb is running, a huge, lumbering, uh, seven foot tall creature, uh, trying to escape, and in the firelight you see it swoop down and get cut down. Uh, it's, it's very far away, it's directly outside the, uh, window, and then as soon as you finally register what's happening, the, um, uh, heart returns, and she, uh, puffs herself up, and she can see that there is a shield with a symbol that, uh,

is basically a series of knotted roots into a shield pattern. And she says, they're here. But why? Does the knotted roots, does it create a shape like a symbol of a god or something that she worships? Or is it just knotted roots that make up this shield? It seems to make the shape of a shield. Oh, I see. Yeah, on her shield. So it's not like there's a shape that I can associate in religion. We need to go. People have been killed. What happened? What happened? And...

I don't know anything about here. And she runs out and just puts a shoulder and smashes the door off the hinges as she runs out. And as you follow her, you see a town completely in chaos as humanoids are running every which direction, going north, south, east, west, trying to get out of the town. Rumbling thunder clouds actually beneath the canopy of the tree.

as lightning, once again, strikes down. Do I actually see the source of this lightning? The massive clouds above you. It's just from the clouds. It's not coming from any specific creature. It's just the clouds crashing down. Specifically lightning in this...

Aurora borealis at this time of year in this yeah, okay. It's there are clouds beneath the canopy of the tree it's clearly unnatural as It's shooting down and you see a number of owl Aarakocra Swords drawn as they fly around scanning some are going after us cutting down

uh, civilians in the town as, uh, the fire from the lightning strikes start to consume some of the buildings illuminating everything. Along with, uh, flying alongside these, uh, Aarakocra, uh, there are, uh, creatures. Large, uh,

that seem to be in the shape of an owl, but formed from storm clouds as they fly around and boom with each wing beat as lightning crackles through them. These wide, lightning eyes appear and Heart looks at everything that's happened, like, "What just happened?" And she hears a scream from the side, like, "You guys handle the square!"

i'm gonna go save as many people as i can and she uses her feline agility to just sprint off in the other direction and as you uh enter the center of the town you see six winged soldiers uh swoop down on top of you uh with these large uh storm elemental owls swooping down everyone over initiative and get rid of the during the fog war all of it yep

Battle Map 10? Yep. Yep. Yep. Beetle Map. It's a Beetle Map. It's a Beetle Map. Thank you. Yep. And so, I'll say, yeah, you guys just place yourself wherever in the center.

I would have been in front, so closest to the danger. How high are the clouds? The clouds are probably a good 300 feet up. How high is the canopy? The canopy is like 1,000 feet. They're massive, massive trees. Is Ulanda with us? No, you don't know...

21 for me. 20, 21. I had 22. We're rolling! 22 for Iris, 21 for Toa. Okay, 15 to 20. 19. 15. 19 for Caprice, 15 for Felix, Herda, and Lufti. What'd you get? 14, 10. 10 for Herda, Lufti. Okay, let me roll for our Owly friends.

We're gonna get the Enforcers. They're gonna be Whistler Decks, Whistler Ducks. Look, you got 15. 14. 14, yep. So they'll count. Monsters 1. Are these all fucking owls? There's no Thunder Owl art, so just imagine them. That's what they are now. Thunder Owls! Thunder Owls.

So basically this is like a stormy bird. But these are owls. But it's a thunder owl. Pardon my reading. A thunder owl. Oh, sorry, what was it? Thunder owl. Thunder herds. Or thunder rocks. Thunder herds. And then finally, yeah. As they are surrounding you. Are they on the ground or flying? They're flying, but they are swooping down to attack you. They seem to have no worry about getting into melee range. But they are probably about five feet off the ground. Word.

Okay with that it's Iris' turn. Um, I am going to cast Spirit Guardians all around me. Okay. Yeah. Oh wow. That's pretty good. I like that about you. What does it look like?

Remember they're like mummy skeleton-y things. Skeleton dudes. Oh yeah, the Anubian Jedi warriors. Yes, and they just kind of whip out for me with their scythes or whatever. Yeah, they have large scythe spears as these shimmering golden and turquoise warriors appear around and begin to swirl around Iris and what happens?

If they come into 15 feet, they will take damage. Oh, 15 feet, got it. So they're not quite yet. So you're looking all around. All these Anubian warriors are swirling around and getting ready to attack. Toa, you're up. I am going to immediately drop down and sort of say a chant, drop into my battle trance, and just fucking bum rush this motherfucker. Yep. Rush him right in the bum. Fucking look at him.

I'm going to just fucking go for it and then attack twice. I'm doing some flavor decision. Yeah, Renvarna's a good question. Would a lightning tabaxi be a thundercat? I think it would. Yeah. Thundercats. Thundercats. Eight plus seven is fifteen, right? Yep. And then a twenty-four. Twenty-four.

24, the AC is 15 on this guy. Okay, so they both hit. 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 23, 27 damage. 27 damage, number what? Number 3. The big guy. I didn't know there was a Cranial Mom. Oh, hi Cranial Mom. You run up and you smash in, and although it seems to be made of thunder, it is not.

resistant or immune to anything, as you seem to, there seems to be some sort of corporeal form and it seems to take damage as your maul swings through this formed mass. This elemental creature. 27 points of damage and then I'm just gonna do... Okay, with that, it is Caprice's turn. They're all on the ground? Yeah. Oh, well they're about five feet up in the air. They're five feet up in the air. Um...

That'll bring me to... A 10 foot radius, or a 10 foot radius sphere. That means that I wouldn't be able to put it here and hit both of these, would it? Yeah, if it was radius, it's 10 feet. 10 foot radius. So it's 20 feet across. Oh, that's more than enough. All right, I'll point and I'll play a super high-pitched note on my viola.

and I'll use shatter again because I really enjoy this. Okay. It's great fun. How does that work? One of the both number one of the Eric Cochran's and number two of the Thunder Owl. One fails. The other Constitution saving throw. Constitution saving throw. 13 is the highest. Okay. They both fail. Okay. So they both take all of

12 thunder damage. And any non-magical object being worn also takes the same amount of damage. What number is the owl? Number 1 and number 2. 2 is the owl. Oh, sorry, yes. 2 is the... We'll say elemental and we'll say... 1 is the elemental. 2 is the elemental. So 2, yes, so 2. And so...

Caprice, you once again do that chord and it rings out and a shattering noise bursts out in between them as the swooping Owl-Era Cobra, sword drawn, seems to get blasted a little bit and takes some damage.

flapping elemental owl seems to be not affected at all by the thunderous damage. And as is tradition, I'm singing the entire time I'm fighting, and I'm diving into uh, uh... Ho ro the Rattlin' Plane, the plane down in the multiverse. Ho ro the Rattlin' Plane, the plane down in the multiverse. Well in that land there was a state, a rare state, a Rattlin' state. The state and the land and the land and the... and the... wow. And the state and the land and the land and the plane and the plane down in the multiverse. Ho ro the Rattlin' Plane, the plane down in the

multiverse and I'll inspire okay you feel inspired Felix you're up I'm just going to cast a mirror image on myself and basically give them the come at me bro okay so the dagger goes white and silver and

three copies of Felix and Peter. In my coat. Yeah, in your coat, yeah, obviously. There's a little bit of light emanating from his coat. With that, it is the soldier's turn. As they all swoop in, we're gonna get two on Toa. Or actually, no, one's gonna go on Toa. That one. And the one that's gonna fly directly to you, Felix. Then the other one to Lufty. That one's not moving. Not that one. That one's going to Caprice.

That one's going to Herja and the other one's going to Iris. And they all... Okay, so one, six, and four need to make a save against my spirit guardians, Wisdom. One is getting a 21. Okay. Two is getting an 18. And what's the other one? Eight. One, six, and four. One, six, and four. So one... So four fails. One and six succeed. So they will at least take half of the damage.

Four fails and one of six to see, yeah.

Nine points of damage. Nine points, so four to one and six. Radiant. And then nine to number four. As they fly in, they see these swirling soldiers and they seem to feel the resistance. They fly into your radius as they get cut down. Two of them seem to dodge some of the attacks. However, they're all getting disrupted and hit by these Anubian soldiers. As they're all going to do what they do, and let's see what they do here. Um...

One is going to let out a "HOO HOO HOO" Suddenly all of them, as if they're being commanded, and all of them Turn into monkeys? Uh... Is it "HOO HOO HOO"? There we go. Is it speaking a language? No, just let it out a "HOO" for that one. Okay. As they are then going to go in and make their... make three attacks on each of you. As... I may have made a mistake once again.

Oh god. Bering Stealth is the worst part of your job. So on Toa, we're just going to get all of these. Yeah, or else I just get obliterated. Like literally just get my arms torn off. Yeah. Two of these are going to hit you, Toa, as they slice in and going to deal. So this is all slashing damage.

15 points of slashing damage as one tries to cut you down with their swords. And then we're going to get on Iris. Jesus Christ. 16, does that hit? Nope. Okay, all of them miss on you. We're going to get Persia. Two are going to miss, one is definitely going to hit. And that is going to be 9 points of slashing damage. And then on Lifty...

- First one's disadvantage. - You're right. So I'm just gonna do this one. Reroll that. Disadvantage, that one misses. Okay, second one. That I believe is going to hit. That's gonna be a 17. 22 to hit. 22 to hit, one manages to make its way through. That is gonna be a hot five points of slashing. And then the last one.

That's gonna miss. Okay. Lifty, we have Felix left, and what do I gotta roll for that? You have to... No, so every time you're targeting the attack, I'll roll first. Okay, so first attack from the sword. They each have three. Target, say, one of my clones. Okay. AC of 13. We're just gonna do this. That is gonna... Yeah, it hits like a 25. So, clone pops. Okay, yep, that one pops. It's gonna end going for a second attack.

Clone, attack me. Okay. AC 13. AC 13. That hits. Unless you use shield. No, no, no. And then, oh wow, there's going to be four points of slashing damage. Oh yeah, we're golden, that's nothing. And then one more time. Attack's clone, AC 13. Okay.

13, 8 plus 3 is... Not enough. Yeah, not enough. So it misses the clone. It misses the clone as it slices you in. And then that's everyone, right? No, you didn't hit me. Oh, Caprice. I'll impose disadvantage on your staff. On the first one? Yeah. Nice. Disadvantage is still going to be a 16? Yeah. 16 hits. That is 5 points of slashing damage. And the other two I'm just going to roll right now.

Both of those are going to hit? 15 points of slashing damage. In addition to the first five? Yes. As all three hit you, Caprice. Ah, fuck! They're cutting you down. And then, okay, with that, it's their turn. And they're right up in combat with you. And then with that, it's going to be Lifty's turn. Okay. I'm going to turn to number one and...

Just kind of, who do you think you are? Who? And, um... I'll get it. I'll get it. She's on fire today, ladies and gentlemen. Um, I'm gonna just thwack at it like you would if a bird flew in your house and you were a heartless monster. Um, and then, so two spoon thwacks, um, and then I'll just kind of a series of high kicks because of why. Okay. Bicycle kick. Yes. Natural 20. Yes! Oh!

I'm gonna deny that natural 20. A 12 for the second, that would not hit? No. Okay, let me roll the other one. The Aarakogar's 14, the elemental's 15. So that is another fail and another hit, and a 9, so that's a 16. 16 hits. Okay, so we've got three hits, one crit. Okay. So 2d6, that's very good. 8...

18, 22, and then 26 total.

26 total damage to number what? To number one, Val. 26. As you manage to strike all of them, after slicing into you, it's raising its sword back again as it stares at you, glaring, and you smack it with your spoon and then a flurry of blows hits all of it. And with that, it is Verna's turn. I will use my channel divinity

to cast Sacred Button as my action. I will keep standing where I am and as a bonus action, as a bonus action, I will attempt to... I'm going to try to cast Compelled Duel

On number two. The elemental. The elemental on the far back. It is a wisdom saving throw. Natural one, yeah. 13. It fails. Okay. One creature that you see within range must make a wisdom save on a field. Say a creature is drawn to you, compelled by your divine demand for liberation. It has a disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures other than you and must make a wisdom saving throw each time it attempts to move to a space that's more than 30 feet away from you.

The spell ends if you attack any other creature. If you cast a spell that targets a hostile creature other than the target. If a creature friendly to you damages the target or casts a harmful spell on it or if you end your turn more than 30 feet away from the target. I love that spell. So I will then start sidestepping around this little guy and try to get closer to him without invoking an attack of opportunity.

You can sit diagonally towards you, yeah, right there. And I'll just taunt it and say, "Alright, come for me, you big buffoon!"

and that'll be my turn. - Okay, so the clang of a hammer on anvil echoes out through the thunder as suddenly rain starts to pelt you as you're in the middle of this storm and this elemental seems to be drawn onto you and it's their turn. And so first, it seems like it was going to do something but however, once you compelled the duel, it seems to fly up and then with a crackling shock of thunder, it swoops down to attack you, Herja.

It's within 15 feet, so it's gonna take damage. It needs... 16 wisdom. I forgot about that. 11 points of damage. 11 points of damage to... If anything, damage number 2. If not me, it's gonna drop until duel. No!

If you attack anything but it. Yeah. No, no, no. The wording has to be pretty specific. But it's a question of whether it's an ally or if it's anything that damages the target. Spell ends if you attack any other creature. If you cast a spell that targets a hostile creature other than the target. If a creature friendly to you damages the target. Or casts a Harkless spell. But is her spiritual guardian considered friendly? It's not a creature.

Yes. Yeah. It doesn't harm us. I guess. It's one of my spells. It takes the damage, but it's still going to do what it was going to do anyway. Taken from its course, it swoops down and is going to make an attack on Herja as this commanding who seems to be empowering it. And that is going to be a 21 to hit. Uh,

As it cracks out and does additional damage from swooping so far into you. Boink. Boink. Boink. Six, eight. Eight, twelve. Fourteen. Fourteen points of damage as you are knocked back by the sea of crash of thunder ten feet. Oh, there's no save for it? Nope. If it hits, yep, ten foot knockback.

And then the other one is going to fly into the center of all of you. And beat its wings. And with such fortitude, it's an incredible sonic boom. Blast out. And I need everyone to make a con saving throw.

I'm within 10 feet of you, do I get an abomination? Yep, you get +2. 16. Do I? Alright, so DC is, uh, what is the DC? 12. Con saving throw, you see 12. 14. Uh, I got a 9. Should I use a twist?

Yeah, we have them. Heck yeah! Can I use one? Because I nailed one. Go for it. What do we do with DC? 12. There we go. I passed. Nailed it. Two natural ones. Nice. So I guess it was always meant to be. So we used two? Yes, we used two. We should be down to 18. Everyone that fails takes 26 points of thunder damage. And you take half of you pass.

What was the total? Wow. What was it? 26. Holy shit. So, 13? 13. 13. This is a concierge, so I can't use the shield. Holy shit! Wow, okay. Well, I'm going nuclear option, guys. Hang on to your butts. And this one, uh, this one flaps around. Who failed? Caprice. Do I get a set? Can I tell that he failed? Like, yeah, totally fucked? Hoorah, the Rattlin' Island!

Ancestors protect him! I'm gonna use my, uh, send one of my ancestors over there and reduce it by five. And with that, after it collapsed back up, with that sheer force, it flies up 20 feet into the air directly above you.

My spirit guardians are still up. Yep. Okay, cool. The one in between you guys is getting ready to swoop down on you. 20 feet in the air? Doesn't it take two opportunity attacks? It has fly by. So it flies by and as you try to swipe it, if you try to swipe at it, it's too fast. Just rest it on top of us. I'm just thinking.

He's 20 feet in the air. I'm just thinking. And then this one is going to... Wait, is that where he was? Because if that's where he was, he's within 15 feet of me and he would take my damage. Yeah, he was there. He was there. Then no, he wouldn't be. So he's within 20 feet. This one is going to swoop around to the other side of Toa. Sorry, this guy? Yeah. Right there. So he is going to do a wisdom save. Oh, God. Oh, God.

- 51. - Ah, that fails. - Ooh. - Three. - 19 points of radiant damage. - Holy fuck. I shouldn't have done that. That's fine, they don't know. They don't know. 46, okay. As the Anubians are slicing into this bird, it seems to be taking a good amount of damage. As it looks at you, Toa, and claps its wings together and blasts at you. And I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

Pretty fucking good. 25. 25. You take half of... Oh, jeez. 20 points of thunder damage. Half of that? Half of that. So you take 10 points of thunder damage. As it's trying to knock you off your feet and send you smashing into the building, but it is unable to do that. And with that, that's going to fly up 20 feet as well.

Okay. Yeah. Ah, that kind of messes up my... Denote that it's 20 feet. Okay, with candle, that's a good idea. Yeah, let's put the candles on them or something. We can hear. Why don't we use these? Yeah, that works. 20 feet. With that, it is Iris' turn. Top of the round. I am going to cast Masculine Word at a 4th level. Okay. Thank God. So you see a Prayer to Anubis, and...

And you all feel this warm sandy glow come over you and you all feel it for some business. Oh my god, Pyramids! Eight... no, nine points of healing. Hey, Tyrese! Forever? How much, sorry? Yeah, nine points of healing. Nine. Toei, you're up. Let's see if this bone attacks or anything.

That was a bonus action. No, it wasn't because it's mass healing. Yeah, no, it's still a bonus action. So then I am going to Word of Radiance. So the two that are next to me have to make a con saving throw. Number four is going to fail. Number five is going to also fail. Four and six. Four and six. They both fail. Okay, so they're going to take...

11 points of damage. Jesus Christ. As you channel another prayer to Anubis and

A blasting light shoots out of you and it singes them and does some good damage here. With that, it's Toa's turn. I'm going to run up right between Iris and Felix. It's going to take an attack of opportunity against you? Right, nope. There. Yep. And I'm going to turn to the one that's on Iris and I will attack it twice. 18 to hit you. That hits. Okay, it's going to roll. It's going to be some slashing. It's going to be...

Seven points of slashing damage. So... Okay. I'm going to make these reckless. I don't know why I keep forgetting about that. So the first one's a hit. What is it? What's that? What did you get? 20. Okay. And a 20. Okay. So, I will do... 10, 17, 27...

Uh... 31 damage to number 6. The air clicker. 31 damage. And, uh, you swing it, crashing it to the side, and its wing snaps and it falls to the ground. You get the opportunity, you bring your mole down, its head explodes, and it's dead. Number 6? Yep. Number 6 is fucking toast. With that, it is... Grease. Uh, Grease.

I'm hurt. So I'll... I'll trigger a healing potion for my bonus action and we'll do that after the turn. And I'll...

in the multiverse. Well, in that land there was a town, a rare town, a rattling town, and a town, and a state, and a state, and a land, and a land, and a plane, and a plane down in the multiverse. And I'll cast slow. So they're hearing it, uh, Ho, ro, the rattling plane, the plane down in the multiverse. If you play it backwards. How many? The tooth fairy will come for you.

So all of the Aarakocra and this elemental, and I think it goes up, right? Yeah, it's a sphere, yes. It's 40-foot cube. That's a cube, so it's a five. One, two, three, four, five, and six. That should be able to go all the way up. Everyone except for these two will now be slowed mostly for that 92. Neither will save, though, right? Nah, why not? You can do a wisdom saving throw. Elemental two fails. Do we want to get some...

So the ones that fail have disadvantage on dexterity saving throws, correct? Yep. Stop, stop. So, two fails. Elemental 2 fails. DC 16. We'll do Elemental 1 fails.

Ericokra succeeds. Ericokra 4 succeeds. Ericokra 2 fails. Ericokra 1 succeeds. Ericokra 5 fails.

So they're all slowed down. Mostly for that. Two to see action. Okay, thank you. Thank you. As you sing very slowly, and the magic washes over, and it seems to affect them, they're all looking around, and... Does it just give them, like, disadvantage? No, it does a bunch of shit. Negative two AC, negative two dexterity saving throws, they can't use reactions, they can only use an action or a bonus action on their turn, it's a bunch of shit. That's right. They have multi-attack, they only get one...

Okay. With that, it is Kiel's turn. So I just want to take a quick look around at everybody and see who looks the most beat up. Most beat up? Alright, I gotta make a tough choice here. So what I'm going to do is look up about 10 feet in the air and catch Fireball. Okay. You do that. It's a 20-foot sphere.

Or 20-foot radius sphere, so based on my math from here, I should be good. I can actually tell by grabbing that bad boy, the bad guy, standing on its end. Oh, wow. So I think it's everybody but these guys? Yeah, it's everybody. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Wow. The problem is that I can only save four of us. Don't save me. You and I would have discussed that. So I can choose four people to automatically...

pass the deck saving, so I wouldn't have chose...

I think I have to sac our tanks here. So you guys will have to make the dex saving throws. That's fine, I have my Shield Master too. Okay. Isn't that just for single partners? I can still use it for... So the rest of us don't take anything? You take nothing. You automatically save your saving throw. You automatically pass the saving throw if there is one, and if you would take half damage from it, you take no damage instead. And everybody who is slowed has disadvantage on dex saving throws.

No, they just take a negative two. Oh, that's fine too. It's gonna be five, ten, sixteen, nineteen, plus seven is gonna be 26 points of damage to everyone but the two elemental and the three era co-creators. Okay, we're gonna... So, two of the... Are there only one elementals in it? There are two elementals in it. These two elementals are in it. This guy's not and this guy is not. Got it. Okay, so I'm gonna do... What's the DC?

16. 16. Both of the elementals didn't fail. So they're going to take the full 26. They're going to take the full and then we're going to go to Ericokra 4. He fails. Ericokra with the dice on it. 23. He passes. He passes. That's a 20 for... Oh wait, 20 minus... 2. Minus 2. That's a pass. Okay, that's a pass. Number 1 is going to fail.

And that's it? Yep. So... And then we have to make our saves? Yeah. So I pass. I'm gonna use... You take, uh... Go ahead and cast. It was 23 divided by... 26 divided by 2 is 13. Can you remind me which ones failed real quick? Uh, that was... You said these guys failed? Yeah. And then... Two of them, I think half of those failed. Elementals 1 and 3 failed. Okay. And then I think half of the Aarakocra failed. Yeah. Like, two of them passed and two failed. Yeah. So four...

I'm pretty sure one and four are defeated. The two slower ones, I think, pass. The other two fail, actually. Okay, so 26. Sorry. It's a lot of math. Felix points up and explodes. Number four is completely incinerated. Okay, and then number two is the one that's going to be half of 26, which is 13. He gets singed.

Okay, and then we're gonna do what what's the other one that has the die on it? What number is he? He's five. Five is gonna take 13 points of damage. He's gonna get blasted. Number one is also the flames singe his feathers and he collapses to the ground. Poopy doopy. This is a mature stream where we say poopy doopy. And number one and number three both take 26. Thank you.

There we go. They both get singed. Number three is looking incredibly weak. And number... What number is that guy with the slow? One. Number one. Okay. So he was totally unharmed, but now he's got blasted. There's crackling of lightning as the Thunder Owl, one of them, starts to lose its form. Thunder Owl, you might say? Thunder Owl. Thunder Owl. Okay. So I pass my save now thanks to the inspiration given to my bard.

I don't take anything because I can impose a shield between myself and the source of the effect if I wake my saving throw, so I take no damage. Okay, so Toa withstands it and Herjia ducks down and you put your shield up and fire rages over you and you hide behind your shield and yeah, that's what happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As the owls... The owls are all looking around and they call out and they start speaking in this language. And who can speak Oran? What is Oran? Primordial. I can speak Primordial. Okay. So you guys hear out...

It's like, "What are our orders?" And as they're looking around, why has they been slain? And it's like, "This was not supposed to be this difficult!" "We've been given orders to slay the traitors!" And they look like they're about to leave, and they said, "Reinforcements are coming!" "Keep fighting!" And they're gonna say, "Keep fighting." That was on Monsters 1's turn.

- Monsters one, yes, they're talking. - You have to get some tell everyone. - And they are going to... - That's true, I don't know. - Number three, they are going to see what happened from the fireball and they're going to whip around and both attack Felix. Three and the one with slow on him. - Okay, so how many attacks is that?

It's gonna be three attacks. All right, so for the first attack... Sorry. Wait, you're moving in the Aarakocra? Yes. Okay, so we have an Aarakocra here, an Aarakocra here. You want them to fly in like that? So one's gonna stay on Lufti. The other one's gonna fly beneath. That one's gonna fly up to... I know it's awkward, but he's beneath the elemental. Oh.

Oh, I see. Kind of like in that little pocket? Yeah, I have the dexterity, so I'm gonna get in there like that. Wonderfully done. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Get in there, you little slow guy. And then this guy's gonna fly over here. Yep. And now they can both attack. So both of those need to make saves, please. First one fails. However, number three succeeds. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage. What numbers are they?

Whichever one failed took nine. Two failed, three succeeded. And three took half. The newbies are slicing in. They're taking some damage. Okay. So now, you said three attacks on me? Yep. Well, six attacks. First attack. Oh, Jesus. All right. Well, first attack targets me, AC 13. Okay.

That is going to hit. Okay. And it is going to deal four points of slashing damage. No problem, I'm a tank. Okay, another one. Targets one of my clones, AC-13. Okay. Jesus Christ, that's going to mess horribly. Beautiful. Next attack. Next attack. Targets me. Okay. That is definitely going to hit. Okay, that is going to be seven points of slashing damage. Okay. Next attack, this is attack number four. Yep. Targets me. Okay.

Misses. Misses me is fantastic. Attack number five targets me. Don't forget that the one that's slowed can only attack once. That's it then. Then I'm free! That's it. Wow. They slice in and one is... This is a free elf! That's it. For now. That's their business. Okay. They're going to stay. Oh, one is still going to attack Lufty and it's going to do it once. Disadvantaged. Disadvantaged. It's going to be a 16.

- Fuck me. - Yeah. - Really? - It beats it. - Okay, yeah. - She. - Slaces in doing nine points of slashing damage.

And as it's trying to slice, their wing beats, all their movements are magically slow. They look very frustrated. But they are commanded to stay and fight to the death. And with that, it is Lute's turn. Master's given Felix a sock. Felix is now free. For now. So I'm going to look at five and...

Now you're speaking my language. And I'm going to continue to just whack it with the spoon. How's it looking, by the way? Number what? Number five. Number five of the Arakoko? Fresh, but slow. He's taken one hit. Okay. The fireball. I'm going to hit him twice with the spoon, one arm unarmed, and then I'll spend a ki point to continue the spirit area blows. Okay. Ooh. Natural one. Ooh.

That one will hit you. It's 15 to hit? Yep. One hit, one fail. Two more hits. Okay, so four hits. That's four times four, 16. So 16, that's 22, 28, 29, 32 damage. 32 damage. Number five? Yeah.

just enough as you smack knocking it down with your spoon and then with a quick the eye rolls back and the head spins around and it looks like it doesn't kill him but then the force is so much like an owl it's able to spin around and you just knock it even further and it snaps the neck and it collapses to the ground. Wow. Hersha, you're up.

Does it do that thing where the head raises up and it's just like a skinny, like feather-like thing? Yeah, it's wild. Of course it does. Owls are gross. Virgil, you are up. I'm gonna run forward and stand diagonally to Derek next to Iris.

Oh. To get up to number two, the big guy, elemental big guy. So you want to stand here? Right there. Right there? Yep. Yeah. And then I will use my bonus action to attempt to shove that creature because it's on the ground. It's flying five feet above you. Is that melee range? Yeah. To try and not get prone? Okay.

17 for athletics. Natural 19. So, yeah. Okay. I'll take two whacks at it. Okay. Try to hop up with your shield, but it's just flying above you. Too good. Too good. 26 to hit. And then natural 20! Hang on to that. So the first one's going to be

Seven points of bludgeoning. To number whom? Elemental to who? Okay, seven points. You smack in. It's not a whole bunch. Magical bludgeoning. And then this is nice. Max damage twice. So that's 18 points of bludgeoning on the second hit. And I will dump a second level...

Divine Smite into it, and at 20, so it's 18 points of magical blubbering, and then... Firing Molten Power, Morrigan's, empowers your weapon if you tear through this guy. You hit both times, right? Yep. And then another 19 points of radiant damage. Okay.

Actually, I didn't say this, but can I, as part of my Fury of Blows, take the Disengage action and move out here? You smack Anne and then hit it once again. It's looking rough and it's struggling to maintain its form. Okay, with that, it is Monster's two turn. Number two needs to make it save. Number two is going to make it save. Thank you. It's going to fail. And it's going to be...

20 points of damage. Exactly enough. As they, the Anubian Warrior slicing in and out and in and out and they just tear it to shreds. As it looked like it was about to do something nasty. What the other one was going to do. As...

As once again, one flies directly above, flies directly over you and beats its wing, setting out a horrific shockwave. Everyone needs to make a constitution saving throw, DC 12. - DC 12? - Oh, I got a natural one. - I'm gonna use a twist of fate. - I think I'll use one as well. - Cool, let's make 'em.

You keeping track, Rich? Yeah. I'll use one too, I missed it by one. That's minus three. What is it, DC 12? That should put us at 15, Rich. 13! That should put us at 15, right? That we have left. Natural 20! Very nice, very nice. God, you know. So you... Twice. I have 15 written down. We need it, we gotta bunch them.

Alright. Derek's gonna use one as well. So now we're at 16. Again, I rolled exactly the same fucking thing. 26 points of thunder damage. Getting what you were supposed to. Can we pass and take half? You take half. And Caprice, you are... 26 so far. You're pushed 10 feet towards the building. Yep, there you go. I wanna... Have I gone yet?

Well, it's Monster's two turn, and it'll be Iris' turn. So did everybody else take... Did we take damage? You did half of it. So what was the damage? 13. You take 13. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you were asking. I'm wondering if I have my reaction. You're talking about when you protected Derek last time? Yes. No. That was probably... I kept my concentration. So subtract that eight from that. Give yourself back eight health, I guess. As of...

The other one, the one that was slowed, and number two is going to flap down directly in front of you, Toa, and once again beat its wings and thunderly. How far up in the air? It's going to be in range of your business. Perfect. Yeah, if you don't mind doing that first. Which one? 19. The slow one is going to move down here. No, number two, the one who isn't slowed. Number three. Number three is going to move about 10 feet up in the air.

Can he make a save? 19. He will take half of seven, so he'll take three damage. Okay, three damage. Looking very weak, but not quite enough.

It's gonna fly in and beat its way through your lapel, thunderclap. Everyone needs to make the constant saving throw again. DC 12. That's not good. There's nothing I can do, Connor. I barely made it. 15. 12. I got the save. 13. This is gonna fucking kill me, though. Pass.

I think that is constitution. Can't do dexterity. Yeah. The constitution. Fifteen points of thunder damage. And half of you succeeded. And you're not to die. What? Total is fifteen. So it takes seven. And if you failed, you will not be back ten feet. Fifteen was the total. So seven if you succeed. You were merciless. Or you were merciful. And ten feet if you failed. Back.

Oh, so we don't go, we don't move if we fail. Correct. So anyone failed. Okay. And then once again, so it's moved down. It's going to fly back. It only has half its speed. It's 60 foot movement. It's still able to get about 20 feet, right? But that one's not slow. Oh, that one's not slow. Oh, but it's within the... It's in the, whatchacallit. Oh, but it made it safe. It's going to go up. It's 10 feet above. It's going to go up 10 more feet. Okay. So yeah. So 20 feet above. 20 feet above. Yep.

Okay, with that it is Iris' turn. I am going to... I am going to... It's hard to see through those bottles, but I can look there and see. Now I'm in a good spot. I'm going to... What now?

Are you not unconscious? No, no, I thought he was... I misunderstood. You thought 15 was the halved. Yeah, because I took like 13 and then 12 and then... I'm gonna cast Cure Wounds on Felix for the third level. Yay! You feel the warmth fill your soul as Iris puts a paw on you and your wounds close up. As the greedy sand fills my... 22 points of healing. Holy damn. That's enormous.

And as you're looking around, it seems as if you distracted most of the guards and you see a blood-covered heart with blood on her sword, ushering in civilians as they're running through, they're all heading into her inn. And she's beckoning everyone to get in. Do I see Ulanda, Judd, or Harnack? Perception check. Yeah, my pleasure.

That'll be a 15. 15. You look around, and with a 15, you're picking out this crowd, there's chaos going, there's chaos all around you, and although the roof of the Bunny Burrow is starting to burn and start to get more and more intense, you start to see the very back of...

Umlanda, making his way over, he seems to be walking with the limp very slowly, blood traveling down his leg. As my bonus action, I'm going to take Greater Healing Potion. Chug the potion. Can you pass me the one under that guy? I'll give it back. That's all good. How wounded is this slowed one, Lord?

Sloat one, number three, or no, number one. Number one, he does not even look bloody. Number three looks like it's literally just very much struggling to keep his form. - Okay, I got one, and I'm striking him. - I am going to, oh, I'm gonna do it.

Have these guys made a single attack? One did, against her jump. One did? I dropped it. You're no longer spread. Okay, I am going to... I think I need to do it. I'm going to turn. I'm going to hold my totem in my left hand, pull out my boomerang, and flip it up, and I want to hit this one. Okay. The one that's not damaged. The one that is not damaged. Interesting. Yes.

You got a plan there, though? Natural 20, but it's advantage anyway. So this would be a crit. It's more than 20 feet. Is this advantage? No, you just put range. You're good then. You're good then. You just added an advantage. No, I'm advantage. Oh, yeah. I'm using Reckless Attack. So it's a natural 20. I thought you were saying it wasn't. Apologies. So five... So eight damage.

Eight damage to number one. It flies in and it cuts through, it seems to destabilize it, it flings back to you I guess? So it falls down. Yeah, because it doesn't go back. But now he is marked and disadvantaged if he attacks anybody but me. Oh nice. And so now I will turn and attack whichever guy's in melee range with me. Okay.

Does he take 20 feet of falling damage? I didn't stun him or anything. The boomerang fell, not the bird. The boomerang fell. I'm paying attention. I am going to attack... That wasn't a roll. Yeah, six. Welcome back. 14 hit the Aarakocra.

The Aarakocra, 14. Number 2 or number 3? It looks like it's about to hit. And as it's hit, it uses Reaction and pull up a sword and parries you. Parries them all out of the way. Okay. I am done. Caprice, you're up.

I'm going to chug a potion for you. You chug it. I will pause my thinking just for a moment and be like, man, that guy's a fucking dick. And with the word dick, I'll healing word myself at first level. That's fine. And then I'll push out with my gauntlet and I'll continue to sing. Ho, ro, the Rattlin' Plane, the plane down in the multiverse. Ho, ro, the Rattlin' Plane, the plane down in the multiverse. Well, in that town there was a pub, a rare place.

♪ Pub, a rattling pub ♪ ♪ In the palm of the town ♪ ♪ The town, the state, and the state ♪ ♪ And the land, and the land ♪ ♪ And the plane, and the plane ♪ ♪ Down in the multiverse ♪

The Ratman playing the bandana. Oh, Scorching Ray. With my Gauntlet of the Ashen Furnace or whatever it's called. And that's going to be three attacks. I'm going to start my first attack on number one over here. And that's going to be a plus five to hit. That's a nine. Second attack, natural one. Third attack, that'll hit 19. 2d6 fire damage for that one.

And that'll be ten points of fire damage to number one. Both of them arc out and hit two of the buildings that are already on fire. And the other one blasts out and then hits into them. Okay. With that, it is Felix's turn. Yeah, fuck this guy. I'm going to ice knife the shit out of number three here. Okay. So it's just an attack roll. Yep.

The elemental? Yeah, 12. 12. Misses. So hit or miss, it will... I guess they never miss, huh? It'll take 2d6 cold damage. You have to succeed a dex saving throw. It will take half of it? Any damage at all? No, no, no. So here's the idea, right? I try to hit you. On a hit, you take 1d10 piercing damage. Hit or miss, the shard explodes. And then you have to make a dex saving throw. 11.

Miss. And now it'll take 2d6. It immediately, the knife explodes at one hit point left. As it explodes into shards and cuts through the thunder's cloud and it just dissipates. Both of them are just going to look around for the remaining Orin. I'm gonna bonus action, just take a-- Oh yeah, that's what-- Can I use my free object interaction or whatever? I'm gonna turn-- What's the language called? Orin? Orin. I'm gonna turn to little DC-- I didn't know you could speak Orin! Oh, never mind! Three more reinforcements!

Oh, I should have said that. Silly me. And then I'm gonna take motion. Okay. So, three attacks on... six attacks on you again, Felix. Jesus. Both of them are within 15 feet of me, so they need to do their thing. And then I will roll and cry. Uh, is... which is it? Wisdom for two and three. Uh, two succeeds, three fails. 17 points of damage. Woo!

So half of 17 is... Do that all the time forever. Never don't do that. As they fly in, number two is looking like it's going to hit Felix and then suddenly an Anubian jackal-headed warrior gets in front and slices, cutting him down dead. Which one? Three. Oh, you said two. Two dies. And then with that it is... Three attacks. Three attacks.

Targets me! AC 13. You haven't rolled higher than a 5 on that dice for... 13 exactly. Okay, I get it. Five points of slashing. Nothing. Targets one of my clones. AC 13. It's gonna be a 21. One clone left. Targets me! AC 13. Six. Miss. Okay, those are all three of his attacks. Wow. Slices in with that Luffy turn.

I'm going to take out a health potion and pop it as a bonus action. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. And I'll run in and... Drunken lady. Swander over. Just wander over. And I'm going to do two spoon attacks and then like an elbow. Okay.

- Seven and a nine, so 16. - 16 hits? - That should hit. - Wait, hold on. 16, yes it hits. - 19, that'll hit. Okay, so three attacks. Yikes. - So that is 12, 16, 17, 18 damage. - To number three? - Yeah.

- Beer or Cobra. - There's only one left. Oh no, there's a tall guy. - He died. I swear to God he died. - Okay, you smack it with the spoon and it's looking very weak as you beat it. It is still holding on. With that, it is Hurt's turn. - And this dude is still flying?

20 feet in the air. Yep. But there's an air cooker on the ground there. I know, I just wasn't sure if that was a good option. I'll go up and beat on the air cooker. I'm gonna bonus action try to knock it prone. Okay. Okay. With an 18. 19. Fuck me. You raise your shield and try to knock it down. It's a little too high. You keep trying to leap up and it's just not working.

Okay, so 19 for my first hit. Hits. I'll just roll damage right now with four points of bludgeoning. Four points of bludgeoning is looking very weak as you smack into him. I look around at my friend. Are we taking any for hostage for questioning?

Killed him! Killed him! Okay! I'm gonna destroy them! Kill the child. That's an infernal. Speaking of which, exclamation point charity. If you wanna donate to our charity stream. 26 to hit. And this one is another four points of bludgeoning damage. Barely. You smash into it. Its skull caves in and a poof of feathers explodes and dies. I did the thing! He did. Yeah, there we go.

Monsters 2 is going to fly above, move directly above you and It's gonna actually need to roll his thing. Oh, okay. He's above us. That's gonna fail. Cool.

Anubian warriors go. Ten points of damage. Assemble. As it looks like it's going to beat its wings, how would you like to do this? I would like all three of them to kind of roll around me and stab true at the same time, like directly. Okay. So as it's flying over you, it's still in the radius of... Actually, no. One of them is going to stab me in his heart. The other two are going to chop off either one of its wings.

Okay. So as it flies over you, both of your spiritual Anubian wars fly and synchronize both at the same time. The thunderous wings shoot off and then completely dissipate. And suddenly it's just a falling owl torso. And then with a single thrust, the spear pierces directly through the chest. And with a...

You hear the roar of thunder as it completely dissipates. You all look around you. Oh, no. And you see blood, the corpses of civilians, of lizard folk, of fear bulbs, of tabaxi, and gnomes, as well as a good number of Aarakocra warriors slain about. And you look around for movement. Everyone make a perception check real quick. Okay.

hello hey 23 23 okay okay as you look around it seems as if the only movement is from the uh door of the bunny's burrow however you look up in the sky and you see the movement of wing just very uh barely through the moonlight as it shines in dozens and dozens and dozens of wing figures heading in

as you see a blood-soaked heart step out and say, "Come on! Come on!" Let's go! We should go right now! Is it safe to sing? We've got to abandon the town! I'll start to run. I have a tunnel!

- Okay. - Of course, of course. - Well, you've got a tunnel, let's go. Why didn't you say so? Come on, let's go. - You see that she's, that heart has been wounded a little bit, but she's completely covered in feathers that's soaking into her blood soaked fur. And she guides you down into the cellar and where the largest peg of all was has been moved aside and a very small door is open. - So good thing I emptied that for you. - It was a lot easier

Come on, let's go. We gotta go, we gotta go. And she ushers all of you through and she looks around. Once you're all through, you see her grab the keg and pull it closed and the door slams shut as you are in a tunnel in complete darkness. And that's where we'll end the session. Thank you for everyone who came out with us tonight. Thank you guys so much. You guys did outstandingly. I mean,

Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantris podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin tier or higher to unlock Shroud Over Saltmarsh, a patron-exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com slash legendsofavantris. If you want to chat about the episode with the Avantris community, join us on Discord at legendsofavantris.com slash discord.

We also post content nearly every day on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. So make sure you follow our socials at legendsofavantress.com slash social. And make sure you check out The Crooked Moon so you can terrify your friends with a folk horror 5th edition supplement published by us. Get your own copy at thecrookedmoon.com. Thanks again and we'll see you next time.