Todd Barry, Jessica McKenna, Casey Feigh, Connor Ratliff, Griffin Newman
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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, come on baby and play with my penis. Oh, come on.

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you, I guess, to Jopin, J-O-P-N, for that catchphrase submission. Thanks, Jopin. But no thanks. We're still on the hunt for a regular catchphrase. We'll get to it at some point, but Jopin, unfortunately, that will not be the one. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman, and we have an incredible show for you. A little bit later in the show, we have a married couple.

That's very exciting. And then we have a couple of people who aren't married, but they spend quite a bit of time together. We have a film director as well as someone that he works with. So that'll be an exciting show for you a little later coming up on the show. But before we get to those.

The stars are back, baby. The stars are back on Comedy Bang Bang. Look at this. Look at what's in front of me. I can't believe it either. I mean, when was the last time you were on the show? It's been years. We were to that, is he mad at me phase? No. Yeah. Really? That's my own insecurity, though. I was mad at you, but we'll talk about that in a second. I don't get jokes. He is a wonderful stand-up comedian, one of...

There's a technical term that we use called the best in the biz. And he's one of those, which it's hard to have so many, you know, more than one best. No, I'm the goat. You're the goat, really? Now, no, we're not talking Greatest Fall of Time. You're the guy everyone shits on, right? I'm goat-like. Oh, really? He has a...

innumerable specials, but a new one is out there right now on YouTube called Domestic Shorthair. Just came out on YouTube. Very exciting. I watched it earlier today. I'm here to tell you it's a wonderful special. Please welcome back to the show, Todd Berry. Hello, Todd. Hey, everyone. How are you doing? They're doing fine. Don't worry about the listeners. Don't worry about them. I'll take care of them. You just worry about yourself. How are you doing? I'm doing okay, man. Really? Just okay? Yeah, you know, it's a sunny, first sunny day since I've been here.

And I'm happy to talk about the weather. Sure, the weather has been pounding the Southland. Do you agree? The Southland?

Yeah, you guys got hit hard. Some flights canceled. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, stuff that happens every day in other places in the world happens two days of the year, and we got very freaked out about it. I know. Thank God for those really lenient cancellation policies with the airlines. Todd, we've known each other for a long time.

Uh, I, uh, we've hung out a bit in your home city, New York, because, uh, here's, here's what used to happen when I used to work. Uh, I used to have a television show and, uh, the, the network, uh, would, would call me out there once or twice a year. And I'd spend some time in New York. And the great thing about when you have a network shows there, it's all in the contracts. They have to fly you business class. They have to put you up at like a nice hotel. But then the other part that's in the contract is they have to give you this per diem.

Um, but the per diem is not like them giving you cash. It's like, it's all in the hotel bar and restaurant. So I would get like hundreds of dollars a day that you can only spend in the, in the hotel bar and restaurant. So I'd say, yeah,

hmm who wants a free lunch i would say todd berry does and you really i do not recall once eating lunch with you you recall me all the time i would always say i have a per diem come out and meet me i think i'm the wrong guest i think you're confused you would always do this this person you i remember eating lunch with you after you did my now defunct podcast that was downstairs from your place yes old place but uh

Yeah. Yeah. No, you cut you. You would. I remember one time in particular, you came out to the London Hotel and part of the problem with the London Hotel is it's like a hotel that caters to English people. And so we were like, OK, two for lunch. They're like, no, no, no, we don't have lunch. We have high tea.

Are you making shit up? I love the fact that us spending time together left little to no impression upon you. I know, especially when it's like you buying me lunch. I know. I should just, here, let's do it again. Oh, yeah, those were good times, man. I hope I thanked you enough for those. I also mentioned that we saw a Super Bowl broadcast one yesterday.

We didn't go to the actual Super Bowl in 2002 together, and you had no recollection of that either. Well, you thought it was at my house, which seemed very unlikely that I would be like, hey, everyone, come over to Todd Barry's house to watch the Super Bowl. Yeah. Usually I find out the Super Bowl, like the day of, I find out there's the Super Bowl. There were only five of us, and you were one of them. Yeah, I definitely think we were together. Okay, thank you for getting... I remember this, but okay. This is the most contentious interview I've done in a long time. This is truly...

This is like Gore V. Dow and the Gay Talese or whatever. I would have gone Frost Nixon. Oh, yeah, Frost Nixon, sure. I thought you were going Gore V. Bush for a second because they had, of course, those wonderful... I don't want to alienate half my fan base. Yeah, I'm sure. Todd, you have a new special out. It's called Domestic Short Hair. And I watched this special, so I know why it's called that.

But really, when you're interviewing a stand-up comedian, and yes, stars are back, but primarily they're stand-up comedians, and they're here to plug their specials, and there's not really a lot of questions I, as an interviewer, can ask about a stand-up special. It's like, is it funny? Yeah, I watch it. It's great. But why do you call it that? That's the one question that we as interviewers have. Why do you call it that? Well, it's something that comes up in one of the jokes, and I just said, ooh. Yeah, I get these little, because titles are always something I'll agonize over, but this was just like, oh, I think I know what I'm calling it.

Yeah. The minute you said it on stage? Not necessarily, but the minute I was looking for titles, I was like, well, is there anything I can find? Because I don't usually do something from my act. And then people go, why did you call your special Spicy Honey? Because I was in a Kroger's in Ohio and I saw Spicy Honey barbecue sauce. Yeah.

I had a meeting with Netflix when I had my special spicy honey. Like, oh, we thought there would be like a 20-minute story about that. Nope, just... One second. Saw barbecue sauce. It was spicy honey flavored. So you're not one for titling your special something thematic that... No, no, no. But to your point... Oh, no. So yes, it was just something that came up in the... You're referencing a cat. Yeah, yeah. Yes. I'm proving that I watched it, by the way. Holy shit. Yeah.

There's no way you could have come up with that really obscure reference. I also took a little umbrage at one of the jokes. Oh, shit. Yeah. You mentioned me by name in the act. Not my last name, but you used my first name in one of your jokes. I was wondering if it was about me. The person apologizing to you. Oh, no. Scott's a very common name. Not as common as you would think. I suddenly felt very called out. Yeah.

Was it me apologizing to you? Based on my history with you, I'm guessing no. That's not your thing, I think. Apologies. Taking accountability or whatever. All because I remember inviting you to a free lunch and you don't? I'm gaslighting you, brother.

Well, it's a great special. I was, you know, even someone who's tired of stand-up comedy and just the art of it. Thank you. There are a few stand-up comedians who are just so good that they can just get me in the mood right away. And I was laughing my little ass off the entire time. And it's great. Were you doing anything? Thank you. Were you doing anything else while you were watching? No, I was not. I was watching it on my phone, though, as the filmmaker intended. Wrong.

From a text link that you provided. I did. You know, I could have taken it to the next level and said, I bet there's a way to find this on another... Well, all the power is out here. I really prefer to use this link from the source that you got this link from. No, but I did... I'll tell you what I didn't do. I didn't like...

glance at text or anything. I went full screen. Really? You're fully focused. Full screen. And I lay down in bed. Oh my God. And I, uh, I watched it, uh, in a reclining position. That's dangerous. Yeah.

Because one could choke, presumably? No, no, no. From laughter? One could fall asleep from not laughter. So something in between is what you really want, is laughter but not choking but not falling asleep. I don't want people to literally die or sleep, but I don't want them to like it too much. Todd, you're a road dog. Has anyone ever passed away during one of your shows? No, I've had people...

I'm trying to think. No, I don't think so. I've had people pass out. Sure. From laughing too hard. And or being drunk. Or being drunk. Or, yeah, or being sick. Yeah. Have you ever had like a medical emergency where they needed to stop the show and all that? Yeah, there was once in Seattle. I, this guy passed out and I kind of like.

And I said, look, this is, you know, this guy going to be all right. And then someone wrote me a long note, like you handled that so beautifully. Like, what do you think I'm going to do? Go into my old Navy joke. All this guy's passed out in front of me.

That reminded me. That was a great joke. Can I hear that Old Navy joke? I don't remember it. You don't remember? Do you just forget your jokes like the minute you put them all on a vessel or something? There's just so many good ones it's hard to keep track. Yeah. Oh, that was awful. Realistically, though, if you were to rank your three best jokes, you'd have to do the jokes first.

But the subject matter, what are your three best jokes? I like the joke off the new special about the cabinet salesman. Mm-hmm. That's great. You remember that one? Mm-hmm. That I like. Based on a crowd work piece. Yeah. Originally, presumably. Yes. Unless you were lying. Yes. And it's rare that crowd work turns into- Material. Perfectly crafted material, but this is the case that it did. It's a lot like a Broadway musical first starting out as a movie. Yeah.

And then going back to being a movie again, you know, I mean, maybe it goes back to being crowd work. Yeah. Maybe I will, um, track down the sky. Well, you say he came to see another show. He did show, yeah. He should just show up now. He showed up to my show recently and had a t-shirt that said cabin itself. And I was like, like, he's becoming a little, I mean, it is pretty funny to be like, cause he, he sat there and watched me do this joke, not knowing I did a joke about him. Right. I mean, that's gotta be a fucking thrill, man. Yeah.

Am I allowed to use profanities? Oh, yeah, definitely. Except for that one. So would you apologize to our audience, please? Sorry for the F-bomb. There is a hanging thread in the special I wanted to ask you about now that I'm seeing you personally. You tell a wonderful bit of business about a certain restaurant you were at and the Italian dressing. Oh, yeah, that's a good joke, too. That's a great joke. What?

What you don't do is follow up with the quality of the Italian dressing once you actually ordered it and ate it. You know, believe it or not, you're not the first person to ask me that. Like 10 people who have muted on Twitter since have asked me that. It is a big moment in the special. You're laughing, you're laughing, you're laughing, and then you want a little resolution about how that... But I would imagine it's not funny. It's not funny and I don't remember the truth there.

answer to it. Is the whole thing fake? Is this a Hasan Minhaj kind of situation where you never actually ordered a salad? I ordered a salad today and then this other thing happened today. You have a very busy life and you're able to spin it into comedic gold so quickly. Our material that I wrote today.

It is interesting because a lot of the material deals with post-COVID. There's a lot of COVID material, which I was kind of surprised by because, you know, we're sort of out of COVID. Well, this special was filmed a little. It took a while to get it out there. I see. Do you think I should have cut that out? No, I loved it because it was like, it was retro again. Okay. But every COVID sort of denier type person, if they see you do a COVID joke, they're just like,

It was nine hours of COVID material. It was four minutes of COVID material. Yeah, well, I mean, I would say it was more around 10. You think so? Yeah, I think it was about 10 minutes or so. But I mean, some of it was tangentially not really COVID material. But it was great because I feel like everyone, every stand-up comedian kind of like ignored it while it was happening and then didn't put out a special. And here you were diving into it and actually telling really great, like a 10-minute COVID chunk about what happened to you during COVID. You're really trying to make it sound like it was 10 minutes, but...

I, you know, that hurt during the break. We're going to time this. Um, but any case, yeah, I did do. There's some COVID jokes. You're getting really upset with me about saying it. No, I'm mad at myself. Yeah.

I'm mad at myself. For doing this interview? No. Well, yeah, but that's... Right now, that's not what I'm thinking about. No, I'm thinking about, like, because I was thinking I should have cut those COVID jokes out. No, I loved them. But then again, they're easy jokes to take in, regardless of your stance on anything. No, truly, I was like, oh, it's refreshing to hear about this period of your life because most comedians are like, okay, we're past this. Yeah, yeah. You know, and don't even want to talk about it. They're past this and half of them are...

have COVID while being past it. Um, well, it's a great special domestic short hair and, uh, it's, it's out there for free on YouTube, but people can also buy it. Yeah. You could stream it on, uh, there's a little visual portion at the end. Do you remember that? Uh,

where the credits are going or oh I watched I watched all the way up to the special thanks I'm gonna admit that I saw no no no there was a there's like a slideshow oh the slide yeah that of course I saw um yeah so you could listen to it on Spotify you can download it on I guess iTunes and Amazon I think I don't know but one can watch it for free on YouTube but you can also choose to you can also you'd like to not give money for something you don't need to buy

Who likes doing that? Not me. I prefer to pay. And if you don't support art, then you can just watch for free on YouTube. Right. But you're here right now. I am here. You're begging your audience to pay for it. Yeah, I want to pay for it, man. Those Spotify residuals. Bought my third house with them. It's a great special. It's very fun. And it's not even an hour, which is great. It's like 55 minutes or something like that, which is good. I take a look at that time and I go like, oh, thank you.

Yeah, I would. I don't think that hour thing care. I don't think people care because most people aren't going to watch full hour anyway. Exactly. I mean, you being case in point. I because I turned it off at the special thanks. 20 seconds to the end. You were my special thanks, though. That's why I wanted you to see. I would know. I checked out the special thanks to see if I was in there for all these fucking meals I bought you. And guess what? You don't even fucking remember him.

The next 10 dinners and meals you buy me, I will remember. Okay. Wait, is this like a punch card situation where you pay for the 10th one? It is. It's a punch card, yeah. All right.

All right. Well, we need to get to our next guest. Todd Berry is here bringing his electric energy. Can I chime in? Am I allowed to chime in? Of course you're allowed to chime in. I would just make you sit here. Yeah, that'd be crazy. Like you did during these lunches, not talking to me. It'd be a terrible use of my skills. Just filling your fucking mouth full of food, free food, and just then like giving me a cursory just goodbye and walking. Yeah, I just like whacked on the table. Thanks. You got this? Thanks.

I know it's a chore to go all the way up to. I feel like that was all the way up to like 60th Street or something like that. If it was that far, it was definitely a chore. But that's no, I took it to mean that's just how much you wanted this free meal. I did. I mean, this meal that you claim happened, I would have gone to 60th Street for it. Well, it's wonderful to have you, Todd. Thank you for having me. Please chime in. I will.

I will. Not continually, but at sort of the languid pace that you normally do. No, I'm not going to take over. Don't worry. Okay, great. We do need to get to our next guest. They're a married couple. Have you ever met a married couple, Todd? I have. I have met a few. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever been close to popping that big question? I thought I was possibly close with my most recent girlfriend, but we're not together anymore. You mentioned her in the special, and I'm so sorry. I did, yeah. That's a good way to guarantee you're going to break up is mentioning her.

Talk about something kind of like time stamp it. And then you're like, this is going to be over before. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you for that. Were you planning a pop in the big queue? I at least thought about it. Yeah. Did it, where, where did, where did you imagine it happening? I don't know. I was trying to think like, oh man, what's the crazy way. I mean, an improv comedy club. No, I was going to have the MC bring me up. Oh, we got a guy named Todd. I want to ask someone something.

I don't know. It didn't get that far. I understand, yeah. You know, when I worked at the Olive Garden, I had a lot of people popping the question there. Isn't that sad? Is that serious? Yeah. But when you're there, you're family. I just did that family feud show. Oh, I'm sorry. My segment's done. No, no. I really want to hear about this family feud show you did. This family feud show.

show I did in San Francisco just a couple of days ago, we won and one of my prizes was a $50 Olive Garden gift card. I got one of those as well. I have not cashed it in yet and I did the show probably a year and a half ago. I can't wait to be on the road. Oh yeah, this is going to be great. I mean, I can only imagine you have spent quite a few lunches there. Now I have high brow taste. Would you take me out to lunch with this big Olive Garden gift certificate? I would. I would do that.

All right. I don't know that I have time to do this, but we'll try to set something up for the next time you're in town. Okay. All right. We need to get to our next guest. They are a married couple.

Please welcome Bob and Liz Fay. Jack, how are you? Hello. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi, guys. The mics are on. Yeah. Great. And they're on for you, too? Mm-hmm. Are they on for you, Bob? I'm hearing you through these things right here. Oh, this is fun. I hear them there and here. Great. Yes. Hi. Thank you. Hi, Scott. So nice to meet you. This is Todd Berry. Hi, Todd. Hello. Hi, married couple.

gotta say i was a big fan of all the weather talk we started with that's one of my favorite conversations the la rain thank you yeah yeah where where are you from are you minnesota minnesota so we get more than rain but how did you have any leaks did you look around for leaks what about water by by where your feet come in scott did you check there no water there there is some in the glasses here in front of us that's okay that's alarming to you no no that's okay you haven't been in a drought since september which is

pretty exciting why are you we've been watching that yeah why are you why is this important to you well our son my our son casey fay he's uh he's a fan of the the program here oh he lives here he lives oh okay yeah no i know casey fay and he doesn't call us very often so we figure come on to a podcast that he'll listen to and we can just talk directly to him we can kind of update him because he's so busy he doesn't have that busy boy he's a uh local

I guess, improviser, actor. Pretty good basketball player. We don't understand most of the stuff he's talking about. The people, the locations. He performs at a theater. Says the theater doesn't make money on the shows, only the classes. I don't know. I've been there. I think they make money on the shows, too. Yeah. Well, also, the teachers make a little bit of money, but then they make up for it in the dating the students part of it. From what I understand of him, he says he wouldn't know what you're talking about. Sure. I bet he doesn't. I would take that as word on that. Right. So let's move on to...

You know, we just went on a drive to Sauk Rapids, Minnesota, went to see a Celtic choir. So sorry. So sorry, Scott. Todd, you can hear this, but this is intended for Casey. Right. Look, I know him as a performer. I don't know if I know him as a listener. Well, we just kind of want to catch up. So you can hear this, but this is stuff that we normally would think would be interesting. This is your intended audience. Yeah. It's Casey. Yeah, but it might be fun for, who knows? Casey, you know how much Dad and I love spot and license plates. Oh, my God.

Oh, did we see some amazing ones? Tell them. Well, not just the ones you think, not just Iowa, Wisconsin, you know, not, we saw a Maine license plate in South Rapids, Minnesota. We saw Maine.

Here's the one that got me, Casey. Casey, we saw, guess, do you know which one the Land of Enchantment is? Because your dad didn't know. Didn't know? You didn't know which one the Land of Enchantment is. New Mexico. Oh, the most beautiful license plate I've ever seen. It's a really good one. It's red. Well, it's yellow with some red pops, I'd say. Oh, beautiful. So you should check that one out. Excuse.

Scott, have you seen that one? No, but I guess I could do a Google image search. Or do I have to see it out there in the wild? No, no, no. You want to see it in the wild. You're going to love it. Let it come to you. If you spoil that, I'll tell you what. Don't do that. That's like knowing the end of a really good movie. You want to be out on the road and all of a sudden see a Land of Enchantment go by. It's got turquoise sometimes. I mean, I don't want to give too much away. Yeah, it's like knowing the end to Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shawl.

For instance. Please don't tell me. We've been waiting to watch that one with Casey. He always shows us good... You know what's fun is he brings home screeners sometimes. Oh, yeah. Screeners are the things that the studios send to guild members because we vote in the awards. I don't know about all that, but he gets special DVDs. The number comes up on the screen. It purposely looks bad. It's an interest. My mother doesn't like them because you can't turn on the subtitles. Sure, yeah. Which she needs in order to understand. Our subtitles are always on. Casey helped him...

helped us get him on the last time he was home and now we can't get him off. We can't figure out the remote at all. I think it's good for us to stretch our eyes, don't you, Bob? Yeah, I like reading more than watching, honestly. Yeah, he's a big reader. Oh, really? What do you like to read? Oh, books. Yeah, sure. Harper's Bazaar, you know, whatever. Anything that I can hold in my hands.

I like reading holiday letters. I save them up. That is good. That did remind me of email forwards. I do love email forwards. Casey, if you read the one I sent recently. Oh, boy. Which one? Well, it was a joke. Did you send it to me, too? It's not what I actually believe. I probably didn't because it's a little, it says, well, here's, it's again a joke. Honey, I promise it's a joke. But it said, it said, at the end of every argument, a woman's going to end every argument.

Because if you say anything after that, it's a start of a new argument. It was a forward. I know. Don't send that. That's not good advice. Well, if it wasn't for forwards, I don't know what we'd do with email, you know?

I get too many. I don't know what to do. I open my inbox and I have a thousand. They're mostly coupons. Sure, yeah. But I don't know how to stop getting them. And so then it makes me very upset when I open up the screen. It's such a big number. You could just, I guess, turn off your computer or throw it out the window or something like that. Sure. Scott, I don't know. It took Casey a long time to set it up for me. I don't think I could throw it out. And he told me that actually I needed a bigger monitor. That's true, yeah. What size is your monitor right now?

I don't know. Yay. It's an iPad. Yeah, it's just an iPad. Yeah. Strain my eyes a little bit. So you're I mean, these are all things that you say Casey doesn't talk to you all that much. Oh, no. I mean, you know, well, somebody's a busy boy. I'm pretty busy, too. I don't know why you need to be. How long do you spend on the phone with with with your with your mom? I per per what per annum?

Well, for time you call her up, you know, time I call her up at this point, we're doing FaceTimes with the child. And these are the very cute thing she started doing, which is she says hi and then bye immediately. So that's nice. That really wraps up the conversation about the time that I want to spend on it.

Well, okay. So yeah, that's pretty similar. You know, just a high hour. And we just have a lot of things. Like Casey, I wanted to tell you, do you know that Nan's not at the church anymore? Oh no. Yeah. Here we go. Let me guess. This is someone that he hasn't heard of for 30 years. No, I'm sure he knows Nan. I'm always talking to him about Nan. Yeah. She used to sit by the Swank family. You know, they always show up late. You know, which is,

You know how they leave early for soccer? I guess that soccer's year-round, even though it's that cold. I'm not sure. I'm not sure about that. Yeah. I'm not sure. Todd, are you having the same experience I'm having? What's that? Why don't you just say it? I was just thinking about how she said coupon instead of coupon. Okay, I guess we're not having the same experience. I just... I'm getting a sense of why, you know, this...

Your conversation seems to be filled with details that are unimportant to the average person. Oh, okay. See, I would never even say that out loud. Oh, sure. Even if I had that exact thought. Oh, okay. He would just eat his lunch silently.

Yeah, well, you know. While glazing, gazing at me from just below a very high, high-T sandwich. Okay, okay. Finger sandwich. I mean, you know, Bob and I can take, we can take feedback. Sure. We can take constructive criticism. But can I just test this theory, Scott? Sure.

Okay, I'm going to tell you, this is what I would tell Casey. Nan's no longer at the church. You remember she used to sit by the Swank family. They'd always leave early for soccer. I guess they had soccer year round. Actually, their middle child was a pretty good midfielder, thought she could play in college, but then decided she didn't want to go to college because she wanted to be a nurse instead. And I said, that's still a type of college, but the scholarship was for a different kind of college. So she didn't get to go to that kind of college.

They sat by the swing family, Nan and her eldest boy, John. They didn't used to bring the youngest kids because they were too rowdy. Anyway, the

the priest asked her to forge a signature so that they could get extra buses to take the confirmation classes out on a trip to get Baskin Robbins. And I said, this is the wrong time of year for Baskin Robbins anyway. And Nan said, I don't know. He wants the buses to take them. They're not even the kids getting confirmed, Scott. They're the kids who are getting confirmed next year, but they want them to bond because it's a big deal. You know, you remember Casey. So anyway, they couldn't get multiple vans. They tried to sign it off. She didn't want to forge her signature. So now they're Lutheran.

I don't know, Scott. What am I supposed to cut from that? You're right. That was tight. That was very tight. It was tight. I'm not going to insult you by saying it was almost 10 minutes like I insulted Todd here, but it's...

Look, I like about eight to 12 minutes on COVID myself. A nice eight to 12. Because there's a lot of things to talk about the puzzles. And also, what was it like the first time you flew? I mean, that alone. How do you get from that A to B? Remember when we did the we'd wipe our groceries down? Remember when we wiped our grocery? Todd has a great joke about wiping things down in a special. Oh, yeah. Can I pay you for this, mister?

Pay me for what? For this art you created. I'd prefer to pay you. Yeah. Buy, get it on iTunes, get it on Amazon. We'll have to have Casey help us. Perhaps maybe if you throw it in the forward. I don't think I know is my login. Maybe. Will you, will you reply all to your last forward, Jane and Casey and ask him if we can get. Todd Berry joke. Yeah. Wipe down groceries. Todd Berry joke, question mark, how to get. Fantastic. Okay. Look guys, uh, uh,

I'm afraid we're running up on the bad side of a break here. So we're going to have to go to a commercial here. So I sensed you launching into another big, long thing. We figured we could maybe connect with you a little bit more. We could talk about...

LA celebrities if that I don't I look stars are back sure but we can talk about that during the break but why don't we take a break and when we come back we'll sort of regroup do you need me to get any snacks in the break or do you oh man I'd love some snacks oh yeah would you yeah would you need at this time oh I don't know Bob not at this time Bob no this is the time of day when you need protein it's Dorito time ooh

I don't know about that. You get it this time of day. You boys will crash. You boys will crash. You're saying protein as a snack? What are you suggesting? You need something protein-based at this time. I don't know, something with peanut butter. Like a Slim Jim or something. That's a lot of sodium, but I'd put maybe some peanut butter on, you know, some ants on a log for you. Ants on a log? Okay. If you could whip up some ants on a log during the break, that would be great. You betcha. Okay, great. When we come back, everyone will have just eaten ants on a log. That's a very exciting tease.

We also have a film director and someone he works with. This is such an exciting show. We're going to come right back with more Todd Berry, more Bob and Liz Fay. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Yeah.

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51 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Todd Berry is here. Yeah. And we are satiated with this ants on a log meal that I wouldn't call it a meal. It's a snack. That was the perfect. It just filled me up just enough. Yeah. I have energy. I'm not crashing. I got a little energy. Got a second wind. Yeah. And the maker of...

Said and sonologue, Liz Fay is here. Hi, Casey. I hope you're still listening. Hey, Casey, if you listen to this on 1.1, what do we sound like? Oh, hey, pal, I know I'm going hunting with the guys in South Dakota again. I know you came one time, never fired your gun. It didn't seem to be having much fun. But if you'd like to come again, just hit me up. We'd love to have you, pal.

Did you fire your gun at all? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Getting the pheasants, you know, hitting my limit every day. Yeah. What is the limit? Three per person per day. Three per person per day. Do you ever bring extra people like Casey just so you can say like, oh, yeah. Yeah. He spent most time in the hot tub, honestly. Seemed to enjoy that a little bit more than walking out in the cold South Dakota corn killing animals. I don't know. Interesting.

And Casey, if you're listening, it would be great to see you out on stage one of these days or come on the show at some point. What's Casey do for a living?

Well, he's complicated. You know, we give. You don't know, right? No, we know he's on commercials. Which commercials? He's in that one. Xfinity, I think right now. Oh, yeah. He gets cut out of TV shows pretty regularly. He books, as he says. And we like to, you know, he's an actor. He's a teacher. He's an improviser. But a lot of the stuff is tricky for us to.

see in a way that we can watch it a lot. Why isn't he here? I forgot. I didn't catch that. I think he listens to the show. He told us one time he tried to put it on when we were stuck on a road trip. Right, because we heard Obama has a podcast. We said, what's this podcast? Obama has a podcast. So we were asking what podcasts were and he says they've been around for a while. Yeah, he says that they've existed for some years now. Did you know that, Scott? Maybe. Maybe.

Honestly, I can't remember anything previous to Obama and Springsteen. It was just so incredible a moment that it just changed everything. How neat of him to invent that. What a cool president. Definitely our coolest. Yes, of course. You wore that tan suit that one time, were you? Was that a little too... No, we liked it. You liked it? Well, it was right for the season, you know. He wasn't wearing it in winter. Well, yeah.

Big fan. I just wouldn't want him to catch a cold. Seems like a real nice guy. Yeah. Okay. Leslie Stahl. You ever met her? Oh, Scott, you have to tell us if you've met Leslie. I met Katie Couric once. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Tall? Short? How are we? That...

That's your first question. I'm taller than them. I'm 6'1". If I remember, she was short. Okay. Now, Todd, I started reading her book, but I was worried it was going to get mean, so I closed it. Yeah. Before it ever even... There was a hint of it getting mean. I made it in about 20 pages, and then I thought...

Oh, it'll break my heart if Katie gets mean. The picture on the front, she looks like a little in power. Just like she might tell some hard truths that she's entitled to. And you don't want to hear those. I don't care for that. And I didn't want it to change my opinion of, you know, when I watch the folks on the morning show. Some would say that people buy books written by celebrities to get to know them a little better. You don't want that.

Well, I liked it. I wanted to hear how... Oh, boy. You okay? What's going on here? I drank some water. I drank some water. You drank some water and it made you cough? I hope it wasn't the ants on a log. Do you have any allergies? I'm sorry. I'm not... I'm sorry. A lot of the grandkids we have to ask now and I forgot to ask. Let's all wait this out until I'm done. Okay. There we go. Okay. I think I'm good. Are you sure? Sorry about that. No, please. Please. You want to do one more just in case?

No, because I might call it for safety. I think you're all right. Yeah. You're good. Okay. Great. Trying to do a business term there. They said for safety. One more for safety. One more. We should remember that one. Put it in. Write it down. Okay. I'll get a piece of paper. Sometimes we write down things we can ask Casey about. Yeah. How old is Casey? Oh, I castable 25 to 40, I believe. Yeah. Could still play one of the...

One of the boys, but also a fun dad. No, I'd cast him as one of the boys, necessarily. Well, sure, one of the boys. I think he auditioned for one of the Dear Evan Hansen high schoolers not too long ago. What? Were they going to digitize everyone's face? Again, the words don't even make sense to me, but I feel like that's something he's told me before, and I do recall. Yeah, he's excited, and so are we about him having more.

more dad range because he's like that. Is he a dad himself or I don't know that I've ever had a personal conversation with him. No, yeah, no, no, he's not. Interesting, you know, interesting. Yeah,

They're just... He's on a different... His cousin, Steffi, has got four kids. Laura's got four kids. Well, I would imagine that would slow you down in your show business career. Yeah, Los Angeles is a different place. Maybe that's the reason, yeah. Yeah, it's also not really a city where you want to have children. It's just not a very safe city. Well, I don't know. I'm seeing grass and trees and... Blue, blue skies. Seems like you just got a nice bit of rain. Yeah. Well, guys, you're so...

I don't want to say interesting. What's the word I'm looking for, Todd? It's definitely not interesting. Okay. All right. So it's whatever the opposite of that is. Right. Todd and I think that you're charming. Charming. Thank you. Very charming. And you have... Can you stick around and talk to our next guests here? Don't know much about movies, but we'll jump in. Oh, yeah. What's your... What's your... Like a movie you've seen? I don't even want to say favorite, but what's a movie you've seen? I mean, boy, that Nemo movie with...

Did you see Anatomy of a Fall? 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea? No, it was the one, the lesbian Ellen doing the Nemo. That's the right word. You can say it. We know who Ellen is. You don't need to specify. I'm sorry. If I tell a story about anyone, you're going to find out their race. Their race?

And if it's not white, I'm going to compliment. It's going to be a very nice... I met a very nice black man who was my waiter. Their race, their weight. How... What they are wearing. Be positive. It's going to be positive for sure. Oh, always. But we're going to let you know. You have to picture. You know that short-haired lesbian who voiced the fish? We like that movie. Well, um...

I mean, our next guests, their films have a lot in common with that movie. Not the cast, necessarily, although cast is a word that's used in movies about the sea. These are great segues, Scott. Thank you so much. I mean, I assume. I don't know who these people are yet, but I'm impressed. Well, they are... Our director has directed...

Many films about the sea, including such films as The Abyss. Oh, that's a big Hollywood catch. And the Avatar of the Whale, Water. Oh, oh. Honey, you're turning Italian. Calm down here. That's a big Hollywood catch. Do you have a heritage there in Italy? Absolutely not. No, okay. But that's just what happens to you when you're excited? Just I got, it was as I was exhaling, oh, that's a big Hollywood catch.

um well he is the director of uh films like titanic oh no and too sad too sad for you had to turn it off there's a nice uh fun part where they're just on the boat enjoying themselves and billy zane is uh beautiful the first relationship i loved the beginning her clothes but then i had too sad sorry i'm getting excited well he also directed that beginning of titanic well done sir

And he directed such films as Terminator 2, Judgment Day, and also Aliens and True Lies. And he's brought with him one of the, not necessarily the stars of his, because he's not an actor. He's one of the characters in his last two films, Avatar and Avatar the Way of Water. Please welcome to the show for the second time, James Cameron and Jake Scully.

Good to be back. Good day, Scott. I got to check you on a couple of things. Okay. See, I wish Todd had done this. No, you've done me dirty already. But Todd just let me run over him. A couple of different ways. First of all, my name is Jake Sully. There's no C. Now, I was told Scully by James Cameron. Wrong. Wrong. And in fact, he said Mike Scully first and then corrected himself. It was a wide ranging conversation.

We talked about a lot of things, but it is Jake Sully. Jake Sully. Now, I have to say, I feel like you're going out of your way to not call me a movie star. At the beginning of the show, you said a famous director and someone who works with him sometimes.

Then you repeated that. And then you went and directly said, I wouldn't call him a movie star. I'd call him a character who's in some of his movies. I would like to say the stars are back with respect to Todd Berry, but also to myself.

I am the biggest movie star in history. I'm not just a star. I'm the number one movie star of all time, and I'm American. I mean, Sam Jackson has been in more movies that have made more money than you. Let me give you a question to ask me. Okay, yeah, I wish all guests would do this, honestly. I'm going to pose you a question. Next time you're on the show, can you bring some questions to ask? I'm going to pose you a question to ask me. Okay. Ask me what the lowest grossing film I've ever been in is.

What's the lowest grossing film you've ever been in? Avatar. $2,317,514,386. That's my number two gross. Yeah, I know, but you've only been in two of these. Yeah, you know what my average gross is? What?

My average gross at the box office, $2,620,610,206. Scott, I think the point that... I'm not taking averages, by the way. I'm taking cumulative. Yes. Oh, you want a cumulative number? I'll give that to you, brother. $5,241,220,412. And Sam Jackson has made more. How many films? Scott, I think the way to look at this, I think if I may, is...

Add up any two Sam Jacksons. Pick any two. Avengers Endgame and what's this? Number two. Probably the other Avengers. Let's run the numbers. I'll take that challenge. How many tabs? You have 87 tabs. Because people keep on fucking checking my qualifications like this.

I got to come with fucking proof. Okay, look, I'm sorry, Jake Sully. Thank you. The character is so popular that no one even knows his name, let alone the director of his film. What is this? I don't understand this. Okay, Bob, are you getting this? Because when we tell this story, we're going to have to describe him as big and...

Blue. I'd say tall. I'd say tall. Say Navi. Okay, yeah. Am I pronouncing that correctly or is it Navi? No, Navi. Navi. I'd say big, blue, and American is one of my defining. Okay. No, you're not Australian. Very American, mate. I just, I didn't know what to call you because you're, you know, I consider Sam Worthington to be a star.

I don't consider Jake Sully to be a movie star. Let me ask you this. How many seconds was Sam Worthington's face on screen in Avatar 2 The Way of Water, the highest grossing film of 2022?

I remember him at the beginning. Wrong. That's the first one. Oh, okay. Oh, in the deuce? Honestly, that one was so boring. Way of Water? Yeah. I was zoning out. Not at all. I fucking ate that guy. Yeah. So he's not back? He's never coming back? Who fucking needs him? What are you talking about?

I don't want to get into the specifics of who's coming back and who's not, because we have a lot of Avatar yet to come. Yeah, last time you were on the show, you promised me a lot of Avatar sequels. Yes. Up to about six, maybe? Yes, you're going to get a lot more. We're here to announce more. It's been too long since we've announced more Avatars. We've only got the second one since the last time you were on. Right. What year is it right now? 2024. Guess what happens in 2025, Scott? Avatar 3? Boom. Boom. Boom.

I've never seen either. Yeah. You've never seen him, Todd. No, I've never seen you. Well, let's explain them to Todd. And then also the listeners who have never seen. I almost like envy you, Todd. You have the best eight hours of your life ahead of you to look forward to. And that's the first one. There are these movies where it's like a fake planet and people go to it and then they. Fuck is this shit?

they're both nominated for best picture he's acting like we're fucking he didn't say that you weren't he just said that's what the films are about I'm just getting a little bit like flea circus energy in the way you're describing this wait you're describing this show as a flea circus or what you do as a flea circus I'm saying this is a fucking flea circus and on this flea circus you're describing our you're the flea circus blockbuster you're the flea circus I'm gonna be boys boys oh my goodness careful let's get back to me not watching either Avatar movie

It's like this planet that people fly around in and they stick their ponytails in people's butts. Why don't we let Jim explain this? I mean, he's not wrong, but I think the way he's framing it is perhaps misleading. It's a little bit reductive. I'm sorry. What are the ponytails called that you stick in people's butts? I'm not even going to dignify that, Scott. Okay, what are the butts called that you stick the ponytails in people's butts? It's such a disrespectful way

that you're framing it. It's a tone issue right now. Okay, let me calm down the tone. How would you feel if I came here to Comedy Boing Boing and told you that everybody here is just pretending and that's all it is and it doesn't matter? It's a podcast with a... I think that would be disrespectful. It's a podcast with a table and there's a guy, I wouldn't call him the host, but he does podcasts sometimes and he takes...

The wires and he plugs them into what would you even call this? What would you even call this? Well, it's a Podtrack P8. Oh, zoom recorder. What a weird term. That's pretty good. Let me let me ask you respectfully. OK, Mr. Cameron. Yeah. As someone who saw both of these Avatar movies and who maybe missed the details. You're welcome. What do you call the ponytails that you stick in people's butts?

The reason I'm not going to tell you the answer to that question is because Todd has seen neither movie. And that is a question that I have answered within the context of the movie. I've made two movies so far. The answers are in those movies. Also, to be clear, they don't stick the ponytails in other people's butts. They stick the ponytails into other ponytails.

It's more akin to docking in the gay community. Oh, I see. Okay. So that's what you would prefer it be referenced? Yes, I prefer it be referenced in the correct way. And we are good with that. Yeah, write that down, docking. I would prefer that any question about the story and substance of Avatar is

be answered within the experience of experiencing an avatar film there's a reason i didn't release these as a series of conversations although i'm kind of interested in that what a series of convert like movies movies we've seen them you know what i mean like we have seen them we have let's let's release things as conversations

I mean, that's one format that's open to everybody. It definitely. It certainly would be less money. Yes. Budgets would be smaller. Lower barrier for entry. Yes. Yeah. What I'm here to do today is to give you some impressive numbers that are going to devastate you. You're here to give us some numbers. I've already given you one number, 2025 and three. We talked about three. Four years later, guess what happens?

four years i four years later 20 20 29 four years later guess what happens i i'm gonna be four years after man at that point four i don't care scott i'm having let me get scott i'm handing you this on a plate avatar years after three what happens avatar four comes after three correct now you're saying you're an old man you won't care at that point do you not have a daughter

Yeah, I do, but honestly, as a father of a daughter, do you not understand the Avatar franchise has become generational? It's about our kids. Took. Cook? Is that what you said? Took? Who's Took? Oh, that's right. Those are your kids? Yes. And so Avatar will be passed on from you, the original Avatar mega fan, to your daughter, who will inherit the love of Avatar. Look, honestly, I don't know that she's going to watch these things. They...

Scott, ask me what your daughter will be doing in 2031. Ask him. What's my daughter going to be doing in 2031? Watching Avatar 5. Bam. That's fun. The year after that, in 2032. Why four years in between three and four and then yearly? Oh, I'm sorry. How long does it take you to make an Avatar? Well, I'm just wondering. If it only takes you one, then why not? This is what I'm excited about, Scott. I'm so glad you asked that question.

Because in 2032, we're releasing Avatar 6 and 7. The year after that, we were released. On the same day? Yeah. Yes. The year after that, in 2033, we were released 8, 9, 10, and 11. Mr. Cameron. Doubling the number. And then every year after that, doubling the number. Doubling the number? Doubling the number every year. So 8 the next year, 16 the next year, 32, 64. That's right. 128. That's right. That's right. 254. That's right. That is exponential. I will be dead before then.

I will be dead before we... When are you going to die? I won't name the year, but I'm giving you a general time frame. I will be dead before the Avatar project is completed. It's Q4 of undated year. It's still... Untitled James Cameron project. My death. I don't know why, but I'm thinking 2032. That's what I... Look, it's on you. If you want to...

bet on that. Is there a part for me in any of these sequels? Yeah, I mean, Todd has been in movies like The Wrestler. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself because obviously there's a lot to be worked out. There are deal points to be figured out. Yeah. But there is a very dry Navi who will be making an appearance in Avatar 2. So he's not in the way of water. Bone dry. Bone dry. The driest of the Navi. Yeah.

And I think you would be perfect for that. You don't think I have range? I have to do the way I talk all the time? In fact, you know what, Todd? Yeah. I'm kind of embarrassed, and I didn't want to embarrass you, and I wasn't sure if I was going to say this.

I based a lot of my performance in the Avatar films on you because I had never I'd never been the lead of a movie before. And I said, I said, let me study the greats. You know, it's a certain kind of charisma and energy and stature and swagger that a lead actor needs to have in a big budget film like this. And I studied you and the wrestler obsessively.

And I think you see that reflected in the opinions of people who've seen the film. This is incredible. I mean, I don't know that I would base an entire movie around your character in the wrestler. You know, we had we had a shorthand on the set after a take. He would ask me, what's the TV number for this next take? I'd say, let's bring this up to a four. Yeah.

And that's why when people talk about how dynamic Jake Sully is, when they remember my name, they talk about him as this sort of exciting, gripping, leading man. Yeah. I go big ups to TB. Yeah. Wow, that's pretty... You're showing a lot of comfort calling me TB. Yeah.

I mean, don't you want to find out whether that I like that? It's how we talked about it on set. I'm sorry. It is. I guess it's your private code. That's fine. Yes. Yeah. I mean, he's not saying I mean, you wouldn't say that to him. No, I call you Mr. Barry. Some people do call me TV, though. Who calls you TV? Chris Rock calls me TV. Really? Yeah. Oh, he's very talented. Chris Rock of movies. If you look at it a certain way, you handed me that name drop opportunity. I don't know.

I wasn't going to do it. You've been, you've been about as successful as a screen presence as Chris rock and movies. I would say, is that what you're trying to say? Yes. I'm the Chris rock of movies in the same way that Chris rock is the Chris rock. Well, that's, I mean, it's yes. Mr. Cameron. Um,

Thank you. Our son, Casey, is an actor. And I have a headshot of his on my den desk. So that's hard because it's back home. Does he have like, is he dressed up as a waiter in one scene?

picture yeah he's doing a funny thing it's like he's on the phone but it's actually a banana so there's no way there could be a call it's a goof is there a part for our son Casey Faye in any of the Avatar movies because that would be huge for us I actually I think I can say this Casey signed some paperwork so he was not allowed to say this but I actually cut Casey out of

both Avatar and Avatar the Way of Water. He had a role in both Airtight and DAs, but I obviously can say that. What was he playing? Was he playing like a father Navi? One of the boys. In the second one, he was actually Spider's friend. Oh, I'm so proud of him. That's nice. I don't know if, I mean, we got to speak in code here, Jim, but I'm thinking just in my head, there are a couple roles in a 11th.

I think he could slot in too nicely. Oh, yeah. I mean, at a certain point, we're all going to be in these Avatar movies. No, that's not true, Scott. You'll never be in one, Scott. Scott, that's not true. I'll never be in one. No, because you've been so disrespectful in the way you've talked about them. It's clear you don't want to be in them, so we'll have to rewrite that character. Look, I don't know what would be more boring, watching one of them or being in one.

Well, you'll never find out. You'll never know. Do you do this with all of your guests when they come on to plug? I am a straight shooter. I like Todd Berry special and I say it the way it is. And I think the Avatar movies are a bit of a snooze. Okay, wait, let's interrogate something here. Well, I'm sorry we didn't put Avatar on the YouTube so that you could lie down. Yeah. I would have preferred that. When I texted you the link.

To Avatar 2, The Way of Water. Did you open it on your phone or did you go to a different device? I... Air drop the link and watch it on a proper screen. I watched it on an iPod Nano, actually. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm so sorry. Look, I think it looked better on there.

on there look this is this is the root of the problem here okay we come on here like two years ago we're like avatar 2 close to coming out we announced 10 more avatars you're doing the same bit everyone else is doing which is saying like no one fucking cares about avatar no one remembers the names anymore who wants these sequels bombs incoming and then we fucking won

We were the highest grossing movie of the year, nominated for Best Picture, rave reviews, and yet here we are 18 months later. You're once again acting like no one gives a shit. I thought if we came back here and we had a big secret we were going to reveal today, I don't think we're going to reveal it. We might not even reveal it. Please reveal it. We might shove that reveal up my ponytail.

And let it stay there. Look, I apologize, guys. And I, you know, yes, I'm very impressed that you made all this money. I have some... It's not just the money. The people like it. I have some suspicions that, James Cameron, you're buying all the tickets, but... Why is it that the beverage you serve your guests is Avatar-themed if you have no respect? It's water. You don't own water. What's the title for Avatar 2? The Way of Water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I noticed that also. Okay. I look. And you weighed us in when we came in here, too. Let's put it this way. Let's put it this way. What's the highest grossing water based film of all time? I mean.

I mean, it's obviously a way of water. Yeah. And what do you think is number two? The wrestling. It's got to be Titanic. Thank you. Oh, good job. My man over here. You're telling me he doesn't own water? I know you love water. You love water. He owns that shit. Do you even drink the stuff, James Cameron? You're typing something on your phone. What's going on? Well, we didn't run the numbers on the Sam Jackson movie, so I'm going to do it myself. And yes, I drink water. I drink water. I go in the ocean. I go in the ocean. You go in the ocean? I drink ocean water. I drink ocean water. Please be careful when you go in the ocean, Mr. Cameron. I'm sorry.

I'm always careful. There's a lot of dangers hidden in the deep. That's why I go in the ocean. My man, Jim, he goes down to the bottom of the ocean. He brings two things with him and is submersible.

One is a little straw so we can stick it out the side and drink some of that deep ocean water. That seems dangerous. It's airtight. What, the straw is airtight? Yeah, it is, mate. So it's got like some self-closing thing every time you suck in on it? Yeah, that's what a billion dollars buys you, mate. Second thing he brings down. As well as all the Avatar tickets. Anyway, go ahead. People bought them. Civilians.

Private citizens bought those tickets. Private citizens? Okay. The second thing he brings down there with him is a little flag, and he plants it down at the bottom of the ocean, and the flag says, I own this shit. Signed sincerely, James Cameron. Wow. You'd be stunned how much of the bottom of the ocean I own. I don't know.

That's a little braggadocious, Mr. Cameron. I'm a lot braggadocious. He's the king of the world. I'm the king of the world. You have to be careful. No one likes an ego beagle. Everybody likes an ego beagle. Everyone tells him that every time, and then his next movie makes more money than the last movie. Isn't it just because of inflation? What are you fucking talking about? You know what I mean? Like, oh, yeah, Avatar made all this fucking money, but movies are expensive. My movies made more if you adjust for inflation. That's the thing. The money goes up. Yeah. What?

The money goes up. The money goes down. The money goes up. The money goes down. I think the person with more money would know what money does. The money from the movies before goes up. Yours goes down. Or stays the same. My money goes up. But don't you also have to pay for the goggles?

Yeah, but you'd be surprised at a certain point people start giving you goggles. Yeah. So I've received more goggles as gifts than I've purchased goggles in my life. I'm actually ahead on goggles. What do you mean? Because sometimes I'll sell the goggles. What are you talking about? Because I think she's talking about going to the movie and having to...

I'm talking about the goggles when I go in the ocean. Oh, no. Well, I'm glad you were in protection. I'm saying, aren't your ticket prices higher because they have to include the cost of giving us all those glasses that give me headaches? I'm sorry. In fairness, you said goggles. They don't give you goggles when you go to the movies. I wish they were goggles. I pitched this to the theaters a few years ago. I said, fill the theater up with water. Give them goggles. And they said, no, we're just going to keep the theater dry so that the movie's wet. Fill it up like a water park.

Fill the theater with water. Give people air. Give people goggles. Maybe some marine life as well in the theater. Well, now you're thinking like a filmmaker. Wow. To be fair here, to be fair, you're acting like, oh, it's this weird like number juicing scheme to add the glasses on. How many times do you go to a movie theater, buy a ticket, and they give you some other shit for free? I mean, when you go to a Mexican restaurant, they give you chips for free. I said movie theater. Okay. That's a fair point.

But I would say 3D Glass is all the chips to movie theaters, Mexican restaurants. Also, Scott. No one complains about that shit. Scott, you've dipped your toe into filmmaking as well. Yeah. Remind me the grosses. Remind me the grosses. Well, it was on Netflix, so we don't. I mean, how convenient. But when you make a movie. It was convenient for people to watch it. I'm like, you're fucking moving. And where do they get their glasses?

need glasses to watch my movie i wouldn't be able to see it scott let me ask you this you have water sequences in your movie we do yeah the entire first sequence yeah i fucking know because i fucking noticed and then i watched through the special thanks and i don't see a mention of my name the fucking studio i apologize look you make a water movie you come to my house

and you don't give me a special thanks. I know you should have wet your beak in this, metaphorically. Scott, it's starting to feel like a lot of your objections are that you actually don't understand what success is. No, it's not that. Maybe I have a different metric. What's your metric? Yeah.

Because my metric is billions of dolls. My metric is people enjoying it and talking about it. Let's go to fucking any screening of Avatar. I've never met a single person who's ever said, wow, I really love that Avatar movie. Now I'm definitely not revealing our secret on this episode. You wouldn't believe. Tell you what. Tell you what. We need to take the temperature down. This sucks. Liz, do you mind making some more ants on a log for everyone during the break? Because we need to take a break. We're going to take the temperature down a notch. I told him we should have done Doug Love's movies instead. I said, that's a better...

fucking platform he loves that's a different metric of success too let's litigate that okay look we're gonna take the temperature down i want to hear your big announcements so we're gonna i'm gonna apologize and we're gonna have some nice ants on a log we'll get our blood sugar up when we come back we're gonna have more with todd berry todd you can stick around right

Yeah, I have a show in the four hours. In four hours? So I think we'll be done by then, I think. Although everyone should take a look at the runtime of this podcast. I mean, based on the vibe over here.

I think we're going to be a while. I mean, maybe, you know. We barely started announcing new avatars. This isn't like a George Lucas talk show situation. Should I preheat the oven? Should you what now? Should I preheat the oven? Yeah, preheat it. And then we're also going to have Bob and Liz Faye. They're going to still be here. Bob has a secret. Bob has a secret too. We'll find out. And maybe Todd has a secret. I mean, although we learned about his relationship status, so that maybe already was a secret. But we're going to come back. We'll see.

We'll have more with Todd Berry. We'll have more with Bob and Liz Fay. We'll have more with James Cameron and Jake Sully. Thank you. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. For 25 years, Mike's has been making lemonade the hard way. Mike's Hard Lemonade. Hard days deserve a hard lemonade. Mike's is hard, so is prison. Don't drive drunk. Premium all beverage with flavors. All registered trademarks used under license by Mike's Hard Lemonade Company, Chicago, Illinois.

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Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Todd Berry is here. Domestic Shorthair is the special. People can get it on YouTube. They can watch it to their heart's content. I watched it to my heart's content. One watch. You're content now? I'm content. I loved it, Todd. You're content that you're done watching it forever? I may go back to it. It was very, very fun. I feel like it's something you should watch at least one more time tonight.

Yeah, why not? I mean, it's up there for free. No ads, at least in the link you sent me. Wow, you got a VIP link then. Oh, okay. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Wow. Very nice of you to send me the texted VIP link to your special. We also have Bob and Liz Fay. Liz, you... I preheat the oven. I am going to make brownies, but everyone only gets one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And then we also have James Cameron and Jake Sully are here. The stars are back. Stars are back. Yes. I apologize that I didn't consider you to be a star. I didn't know what to call you because you are a fictional character. Okay, James, you Google the box office gross on Endgame and I'll Google the box office gross on Infinity War. James, you have two phones. You two boys look like Casey at the dinner table. Your phone out. Just, hey, hey, we're up here.

Hollywood. We didn't think we have to break stats. You Hollywood type. Jamie Cameron, why do you have two phones? You have one on top of the other. The second one isn't a phone. It's power. Oh, it's a church. Ever hear of it? Ever hear of it? Is that designed to make a... Yes, it doesn't work in water. I know. A portable phone seem like it's a home phone from 1971? Yes.

That thing must weigh like 13 pounds. Yeah. I'm a strong man. I can carry a big phone and a lot of power. It takes strength to hold power.

I think real strength doesn't tell itself, doesn't tell on itself. It's quiet. It's quiet. It's quiet. And the show is quiet right now. We've all calmed down. Lots of goats at this table. A lot of goats at this table. We've taken a lot of breath. We did some, we did a little yoga and-

And, you know, speaking of water, I've been obsessed with how tiny your water bottle is. I don't need much. Because you live in it. Yeah. You just always get it. Yeah. It's just a little reminder of home. Yeah. Four ounces of water. It's a little guy. America? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm from America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now by way of Pandora. Right. What do you guys look at Pandora? That's what your world is called. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And your thing is unobtainium. Is that right? Yes. Because it's impossible to obtain a thing. I wouldn't reduce us to that being a whole thing. What your thing is. Plane breaks.

And is that your whole fucking listener? Scott, I don't think it's like the show. It's not like Casey. It's not even unobtainium in the second movie. It's I believe it's a whale goo. It's Pyrecon's brain juice. Yeah. Thank you for watching. Yeah, it was hard. I did get a headache with the goggles. Sorry, glasses.

but it was a good time. Did you have a good time at the movies? I did, thank you. Got a little too sad. That's what it's all about. I had to go take a break. Parts of it are sad. Get some raisinets. And eventually, we'll make so many avatars that the whole of human experience, there'll be an avatar for everyone. Do you think you'll ever make like a character-driven indie? Yes. Eventually,

Inevitably. Which avatar will that be? Probably one. Definitely once we're in double digits. Yeah. Because then we'll have sort of established these are big. These are a big thing. Right. And then once we get into double digits, we can start to diversify a little bit. And certainly once we get into double digits per year, things are going to change a lot. Yeah. Cool.

Great. Yeah, I mean, I would think... Some of them will be single shot, single unbroken shot. Oh, great. Some of them will be locked off camera, single shot. Some will be locked off camera, single shot, lens cap on.

Oh, that would be very dark. I would imagine. Yeah. Theater. Yeah, it would be dark. But you ever go into one of those. Yes. He told us about a bad. Oh, an improv. An improv. That's a term. Oh, that's right. That's where they do the improv and they keep the lights off. I wrote it down. We'll probably do an improvised avatar. An improvised avatar. Eventually we'll probably do a lot of them. We'll probably do a Harold.

We'll probably do a Herald Avatar. We've seen some of those. Mega Herald. Yeah, not so funny. Not sure why they do it. Hard to bring guests. Probably at some point one of the Avatars will be a stand-up concert film. Oh, man. I better get right. Yeah. I mean, that would be great to see one of the Na'vi, you know, like just talking about his or her life, you know, out there on Pandora. Well, look, honestly, like the theatrical distribution system is changing, right? And Jim's a pioneer.

like Jim is forward thinking he's cracking new technology so we're constantly thinking about like right now Avatar is about the theatrical experience with glasses included but there's a future point in which Avatar sequels might be free on YouTube with ads if you want to pay on iTunes you can do that was that a little jab you were just taking at me

No, I'm saying you're a fucking pioneer. You're like setting the model. Come on. They love your work. TB. We're looking to someday reach your level. Yes. Eventually there will be an avatar that's entirely crowd work. Oh, man. Yeah. And we'll give you credit. This is the metric we use on special things. You mentioned there's the 3D glasses and then you wanted the entire theater to be underwater. Yeah.

Are there any other sort of innovations that you're looking to do? Well, one of the big things, and this is our big secret. As I've said, I'm not going to live forever. Eventually, I'll have to pass the torch. Jim talked about this. He did an interview with People Magazine. You're the first. You're the exclusive first interview after the People Magazine interview. I'm very honored. Eventually, you're going to have to pass that ponytail over to the other ponytail to wrap it around. People Magazine is my airplane treat. This is very exciting. Yeah.

Eventually, I will stop directing. I won't direct these. I'll pass the baton over. Because he's dead, I think. I want to do it before. You're going to do it before you. I want to be like Quentin. I want to get out before this old man passes prime. I'm going to get out at my peak. 82. The ripe old age of 82, he's going to step back. I'm going to step back?

Step to the side, step forward, and step in front of the camera. You're going to star in these movies. I'm going to start starring. I'm going to star in a few of them. Now, I'm sure you're asking yourself, how can he star when Jake Sully's the star? Because I have my own announcement to make today. Ever hear of a do-si-do? You know, I took square dancing when I was maybe 10 or 11. And so, yes, I'm quite familiar with the concept of a do-si-do. The simple answer to the question is, yes, you have heard of a do-si-do. We don't need your life story.

I thought we were taking the temperature down. I like this. I like details. Starting at Avatar 47. This can't be just me taking the temperature down. The guy who makes five-hour movies telling you to tighten it up a little bit.

You can't keep your temperature the same while I take mine down. But if you take yours down and I take mine the same, the temperature will go down. This is true. There's been a lot of talk about medians and averages today, and that does hold true. We live in a world of numbers. I feel like my temperature needs to go up. Speaking of numbers, though, I feel like if you timed their segment versus my segment...

Todd, what is there to talk? I tried to bring up a nice story about us going to lunch and you don't even fucking remember it. What are we supposed to talk about? Let's talk about the lunch and I'll pretend. Todd, you and I went to lunch when I was making True Lies. Really? Yeah. Tom Arnold was there. You're making shit up. You wouldn't remember. Where was this? This was in Hollywood. Really? Yes.

Why did you take TB over here to lunch? I wasn't sure if TA was going to be cutting it. We hadn't filmed any of his scenes yet. That's a good point. True lies. Have I made a fool of myself here? Have I made a fool of myself taking that gamble on this guy? Turned out after the first day of dailies,

TA did all right. Yeah. But you had a B plan. I had a B plan. I had a TB plan. If TA didn't work out, we were going to bring in TA to be AS's best friend. Wow. You were almost in true lies. TL. Holy shit. Yeah. Just that close. It was nothing you did wrong. You were right there. We knew we had it. We knew that TL was going to be okay.

Because TB was the backup. I'm starting to sense that the pattern here is if you don't want Tal to remember something, buy him a meal while telling him the information. Yeah, is there some sort of like you go into a food coma or something like that? Yeah, maybe have like a weird medical quirk, you know? Yeah, interesting. So you just forget like the next hour after every meal? I just forget stuff that's not worth remembering, I guess. Wow.

Wow, that really went for it there. I feel bad about that. Look, Todd, you're daring. You're a daring artist and you push boundaries. And that's what we like about you. That's why we're always referencing you on set as what we want to aim for. And we'd love to formally invite you

into the story group for Avatar. Wow. We'd love to get you throwing the ball around. What does that mean? Is that like just pitching ideas? Yeah. And also shooting down ideas. We need someone who can razz us. You know, our son Casey Faye would be good in that room as well. He's great at throwing a ball around. He's pretty good at basketball. Sure, yeah. And that's why we cast him as one of the boys. I know. Was there a basketball scene? There was a basketball scene. What does this pay to be in the writers' little punch-up group?

I mean, you want a number? Yeah, that's what I said. What is it, Pat? You do seem to love numbers. Give me a number. What do you want? He literally said, what is it, Pat? Name your price. No, I'm asking. Name your price. Don't fall into it, T. He'll pay you double whatever you're paying. Don't negotiate against yourself. No, I know. Name your price. No, here's what I do when someone asks me to do a corporate gig. They go, what's your price? What's your budget? There you go. That's right. What's the budget of the movie? That's good sense. Budget of the movie? Yeah. Oh, it's high. 500 million? Ballpark? He'll take four.

400 million? Yeah. For the story group. Yeah. I'll do like a full month of it. But we get, okay, Jim, think about this. We get to amorize that across the course of maybe. Amorize? It's amortize.

Scott, you're wrong. You're wrong. I'm wrong? It's Amorize. I didn't say that. Scott, stop fucking correcting us. You're wrong. Take your temperature down when you're talking to me. Scott, you're embarrassing me in front of my hero, TB. You're American. You're American. We all know that. I'm American. You pronounce words the way we all pronounce them. Is it Amorize? Amor. Right.

Rise. That's the word we're using. Amorize. It's Amorize. You turn Italian when you get a little excited. We love the way we're going to amortize the costs of Todd's ideas across upwards of 15, 20 movies. So if you divide it. Yeah, it's a bargain. It's a bargain. It's a bargain. But shouldn't I get a separate fee for each different project? Well, it depends how many characters originate with you. If we're talking shoulds, then the conversation's over. Right. So you're probably wondering what my secret is now.

Oh, yeah. Bob. Bob Fay. Well, Casey, you know, you know, the Cundrats I sometimes play golf with. Well, their son. Who are they? The Cundrats? The Cundrats. No, excuse me. You went there. OK. We all heard the same thing. Be polite, Scott. No, but we all heard it. We all heard Cundrats. And they've heard it. They've heard it.

My heart skipped a beat because the Cundrats are a major plot point in Avatar 5. Oh, no. Okay. We have some trademark. Okay. I was about to lawyer out, so I'm glad the Cundrats. The Cundrats. Yeah, the Cundrats. Very different. A very nice family. I saved their holiday letter for the end of January because it's always got so many fun tips. And their son, Marcus, he works at the VA. Of course, you know them. And then, well, he's dating a girl named Shelly, and her brother works at Fleet Farm, and he's thinking about moving to Los Angeles.

Maybe you should talk to him, Casey. Tell him what it's like. Okay. Yeah. Maybe. Why is he moving to Los Angeles? He's thinking about it. He's just thinking about it. He might not. But anyway, give him a call. Okay. Great to catch up. Great. Love to hear from you. All right. You should talk to him, Casey. Yeah. That was your dad's secret. I was going to say maybe he could work for you, James Cameron, in one of these Avatar movies. Or eventually when I'm not directing them, maybe he'll work for...

Jake Sully. Because of the do-si-do effect that we were talking about? Right, that was the big announcement we were setting up. That's the big announcement, Scott. It felt like Savion Glover was in this studio, the way that was getting stepped on. So you're doing the do-si-do effect, you're moving over to the director's chair, and you, James Cameron, are going to star in these movies. Correct. Are you going to be CGI character as well, or is it just going to be you? Only for a couple of flashback scenes where they need me to look super young.

Are you going to be a Navi? No, it's going to be James Cameron. Some of the time. Some of the time. But then I'll become a Navi. So what character are you playing? James Cameron. You're playing James Cameron in the movie. Yes. The director of Avatar. Finally lands on Pandora.

So you've taken a big spaceship there or a rocket ship or something like that and you wind up on Pandora and you have directed movies about all these people? Yes. In the world of Avatar, word has gotten down to earth and I've made movies about Avatar within the world of Avatar. I see. And then what are you on Pandora to do?

do research for the next Avatar movie. How do they feel about your depiction? Are you a villainous character? They haven't seen the movies yet when I land, but then several movies later, copies start finding their way to Pandora. People start watching them. Why did you take five movies for copies of you? You could have brought them yourself. It's far away. Yeah, but you arrived there five movies earlier. Well, some of these movies, and again, this is an announcement, some of these movies will start to take place in real time. Yes.

There's going to be a lot. The thing is, when you're making dozens of movies, some of them are going to be in real time. And if it's a paradise, maybe that's why his movies aren't there. What is this? Just trying. Just trying. That was spicy. I have been, it's been a little contentious between us, but it's all been good fun. We love each other. We do. No, let's make it clear. I was not offended by a single thing you said up until now. We're good friends. We're just sparring partners. Wait,

Yeah, of course. It's always fun to get in the ring and trade a few jabs. We're boys, like Casey's character that was cut out of the first Avatar and the other boys. But Bob, that was a little too far. Just tried one. Tried one. Didn't feel good coming out, honestly. Save it for the email forward. Bob, go ahead and say you're sorry. Sorry. There you go. You know what? I don't need the apology. Oh.

That was a little bit of TB energy coming our way. Let's give that a TB number of seven. What's that? A TB level of seven. He's popping. Yeah. Okay. A little bit of spicy honey. A little bit of spicy honey. There you go. A little bit of short-haired dog. Is that the title? Well, it's domestic short hair, but very similar.

Now, before I forget, Dosey Doe is also the name of a Girl Scout cookie. And our niece is selling them. Is that going to be confusing at all? Is that going to be confusing? No. Tie it in. Will they put some Navi on the box? Throw a tag along in there? A tag along. Where does she sell these? Does she have a table set up? Maple Grove. Yeah. Maple Grove. Any of the spots? Sometimes they go in front of the post office. They take credit cards? Yeah. They do ship them now everywhere, which is so fun. Ship them. You can ship them. Yeah.

That's weird. Yeah, I mean, if I'm buying them from a little girl, I want them. No, they have a website, too. I mean, I can't get it for you. Is the website run by little girls? No, Casey will have to send you the link. The website should be run by little girls. Was it at least programmed by little girls? The website should be designed and run by little girls. I think it's fine if they want to do online sales. It's a new era.

But it should still be the same thing, would you imagine? Scott, how many thin mints can I put you down for? One. Not a box, just one. I'm worried our credit card information might be out if we talk about this website too much. I'll have 100 boxes of thick mints. Mr. Cameron, they only make thin mints. Tell them James. James wants a box. Buy 200 boxes of thin mints and stick them together.

I don't care how you make it. I want 100 boxes of thick mints. Fab, maybe we'll just put their credit cards in. Okay. Are you guys okay putting your credit cards on the internet? Yeah. T-H-I-C-C. Oh, okay. Thick mints. Do you guys know what happened? You know what happened to the first grade teacher, Velro, who taught all of our kids? No. She put her credit card on the internet one time and they ended up getting magazines for four years and they couldn't stop. Why would we know that? You know what's funny? I actually did know that.

Oh, you did? I did. Word got out on Pandora about this? I got an email. I guess this is why Pandora... Oh, it's in a forward? It was. This is why Pandora is so good, right? Because there's no email, there's no magazines, there's no salesmen. So far. So far. Eventually, they will get these things. They all come over? Yeah, there's a movie where they get magazines on Pandora. It changes everything. Paradise Lost. What do you think they're going to make those magazines at? They got to make it out of trees. Out of trees. Is Pandora just going to end up being Earth at some point? Well, for a while, yeah, but then it goes back. It goes back.

There's going to be a period where Pandora becomes Earth and then it goes back. I'm passing around a note card. Can everyone put down their physical address because I'd like to send all of you boys an article that I read. I'm not going to fill it out. I want it all sent to the bottom of the ocean. Send it right down. To your little flag. Cut out a newspaper article. Just weigh down the boxes and throw them in the ocean. I'll get them. As many stones as you can find. I got a couple newspapers

for clippings I've been meaning to send to Casey, but I think I can maybe make photocopies at the Kinko's because, oh, Casey, you went to school with his older brother, but you remember Tyler? Okay, we don't want to hear about Tyler. Well, he worked at the Kinko's. No, that's not. You're interested. Okay, Jake. This feels like it has a little juice to it. We could put this in A72. Casey, you went to school with his older brother, Dan, I think. Is that right? Do you remember that? I don't know these kids' names. Dan played basketball.

ball with the tall one with the goatee yeah well he had a goatee eventually he was maybe one of the first boys so he didn't have a goatee when he played they played when they were 10 did he have okay but eventually anyway his younger brother tyler he works at the kinkos and i went in there to try to get our holiday letter copied so that i could keep it as a record to make sure i don't repeat myself year to year you know i just keep the letter where would i keep it wherever you're keeping the copies i well i keep the copies in a in a manila envelope so keep the letter there

But I've already... But she sent them already. I already sent them. Just keep one. Well, that's what you make the copy with. That's what I do. That's why I make the copy. That's why you have the backup copy folder. Okay, never mind. Just keep going. Tyler works there. Just keep going. Please. And he helped me.

And he helped me make some photocopies of some newspaper clippings that I'm going to send to Casey so I can send them to all you boys, including you, Mr. Cameron, at the bottom of the ocean. It's an article about how you might not need an umbrella if you just wear a hooded jacket. There you go. That's not great advice at the bottom of the ocean. No, I mean, I can only imagine it would seep through. Jim, you thinking what I'm thinking right now? Yeah. I reckon this couple

might make good additions to the Avatar story group. I mean, there's got to be annoying neighbor characters in this Avatar movie. I just think the level of details and the lack of self-editing reeks of an Avatar movie. And I don't like to get vulnerable in this space because I already feel like Scott has attacked me. Even though we love each other. Yes. It's clear now it's canon. We love each other. But I do feel...

We are blocked. We are at the outline stage of Avatar 72, and we're starting to figure out. You stopped on 72? We've hit a wall. We've hit a wall. All we have now is that Pandora, which is flooded with magazines. Used to be ours, but isn't anymore. But now it's gone back, and the cum drats have arrived, and that's all we have. That's all you have. The cum drats who've been there before, but they're back again. Right.

And where does the story go? I might have something for you, Mr. Karen. What if it was Christmas? This is a good idea. Avatar 72 and Avatar Christmas. We have not gone to that well. Not once in 72 films. Can you imagine all those trees and all the vines? Decorated? Yeah.

The decorated roof is glowing with tin tied to every dial. I'm getting excited just thinking about it, Mr. Cameron. Hold on. Maybe it's the first Christmas on Pandora because the Messiah is born there. That's good. It would take him a while to get to all those planets. And then the three wise men, you could be one of those wise men. Scott, I just want to make it clear you have not formally been invited to the story group. Okay, well, I just know you have an extra $400.

million the ideas but they're not fucking under contract yet TB do you mind if I call you TB go ahead TB do it my hero yeah I feel like we're hitting some real ripe unobtainium of story right here yeah and it's got a lot of the earmarks of what makes a great avatar film emotion drama but it's lacking some of that

famous avatar humor that really light humorous touch yeah the funny funny jokes that you see in these movies the caustic wit yeah the sort of subtle sly charm of a New Yorker cartoon and I'm wondering if you maybe want to do a bit of a comedy pass on the ideas we're throwing out here where do you think there's some potential for jokes I think that you should define not everyone's in show business and not everyone knows what a comedy pass is I do sure

So when you hire someone like me to look at your awful script and find some jokes in it and then go, hey, how about here? They could do this. And then you give me a huge amount of money. Right. And you always do it at the latest possible moment. I should add, I've never been asked to do this.

That starts today. Always available. Starts today. It's crazy to not hire. I mean, this is a really good deal, Todd. I mean, $400 million, it'll be amortized or amortized. Oh, I looked it up. It is amortized. Yeah. Now, you were right about that. Yes, but what we were saying was amortized. Amortized, exactly. About the love of amortizing. Which you did not say, but I could be pretty sure I said it. I think you kind of retrofitted that explanation. The gaslighting has come over here to Jake Sully.

But this is a good deal, Todd. Yeah, I'd be happy to do that. Okay, great. So do you have any ideas here? Can I do it at home?

Starting right now. Oh, right now? Yeah. Do you have any ideas? The problem is right now is that I've never seen the Avatar movies and I haven't understood one thing you said. That's actually great for us. We need fresh perspective. Because at this point we need to be training new fans. When we're entering A70, A80, A90, we can't be banking on the old. Does this happen on another planet, the movie? Yes. What's Pandora? Is that the other planet? Pandora.

Okay, so you do remember some shit. So you do a scene where people are like, I'm never going to go to Pandora. I'm never going to go to Pandora. And then you cut to them in Pandora. Very funny. That's funny. And it's Christmas. Imagine if it was Christmas. Oh, I can't spend Christmas on Pandora. I'd never spend Christmas on Pandora. I'm in Christmas at Pandora. I feel like they're trying to combine my idea. They're trying to glom on my idea. Filmmaking is a collaborative. I know that stand-up is different. You work on your own. It's a collaborative medium. It's a story group. Also, you said, could you work from home?

All the writing is done in a small submersible. Too scary. The story group has to be down at the bottom of the ocean. Not at the bottom, but we got to go deep. Let's be clear. Not the bottom. We can pick you up from home, but then you're going straight down into the ocean for at least four or five weeks at a time. What do you do on breaks? We come up for air. So 15 minutes up for air. Yeah. And then you're back down. We got a break room. Yeah.

But you also got to make sure you got to be pressurized. If you come up for a break too soon, you don't want to get the bends. Yeah. Great. What if I have a set at the comedy store, though? One night, will you bring me up? Yeah, I'll bring you up. You mean like through the introduction, like our next comedian coming to the stage, like bring you up in that? Yeah, I will. No, I will do. You know what? You know what I meant? No, no. But that was kind of funny. But I do both or nothing. We'll bring you up and then I'm bringing you up. You're getting that TV energy. I'm getting a little bit of the TV energy. You got to do both. Both or none. I bring you up.

out of the ocean and then i bring you up bring you on stage that'd be a thrill time that would have james cameron also because i'm i i sort of set the audience level so i'm not funny yeah so i go out there introduce you and then i seem funnier then you come in yeah exactly but also you're trying to get stage time because you know that you're going to be starring in these movies yeah and eventually when we do the stand-up movie that there's a chance that i would be right for that you're gonna make the inevitable pivot to stand up yeah yeah

At this point, the only screen time you really have is that Oscars where you won and made that hilarious. I'm the king of the world. I was in the muse. I'm sorry. I thought you worked in comedy, Scott. Oh, I guess we don't care about a little filmmaker named Albert. I look big Albert Brooks fan. That's big, big, big. Are you not the biggest news? Big. Are

Are you an Albert Brooks fan to the extent that you are excited about the muse, Scott? I unfortunately was not that big of an Albert Brooks fan. That's the one I have not seen. Okay. So you're a moderate level. I saw the Muslim in a comedy world. But you drop out when the films start to drop. Are you that kind of fan? Look, I'm that kind of James Cameron fan too. Oh, how do you predict the future?

Because the films have yet to drop in quality. We love Albert Brooks. They will. They will. When are they going to drop out? Triple digits. Triple digits? I'll be long dead. Okay. Albert Brooks is the curly-haired man who voices the daddy fish in the Nemo film. That's right. Such a good film. Which gives me an idea. Why not cross over?

like a freddie versus jason batman v superman kind of movie nemo versus avatar scott you were adorable that you think you're the first person to think of this and that the paperwork isn't already being sorted out right now so the the contracts are wet with signatures and because i only sign contracts at the bottom of the ocean of course yeah what's your favorite song is it that under the sea song i like that song yeah yeah

Wait, you mean Under the Sea, like the Bobby Darin? No, that's Beyond the Sea. That's your least favorite song. I don't like that song. It goes too far past the part you like. No, thank you. Let's stay here. No, I like Under the Sea. Under the Sea. Under the Sea. Under the Sea. Yeah, that's your favorite song. And it's not offensive to sing it like that,

No, under the sea, that's how it's written. Under the sea, under the sea. Red Crab sings it. I think it's a black man probably doing it, but a very great song. Very Red Crab, though, so we're all right. All right. Yeah, I like that song. All right, good. Is there any other announcements you have? Oh, I think we can ask if there are any other songs I like. I like Splish Splash, I Was Taking a Bath.

What about the song from your sad movie? What about My Heart Will Go On from your sad movie? That's a good song. I See You from Avatar by Leona Lewis. Whatever the name of the song was that The Weeknd sang for the second one. The Weeknd sang it? Yeah, he did. Oh, I'm living for the... That's what you get for leaving before it's over, Scott. You mean turning it off.

I never made it to the theater. Well, then you have an experience. I'm sorry. You watched it flat. I watched it flat in my bed. You watched it flat in your bed and you turned it off before it was over. And you think you have any right to talk about it? Sounds like a pretty bad way to watch the way of water. I was on a waterbed. How would you? Okay. Okay. I was on a waterbed. Would you prefer that I watch it on a waterbed than in a dry theater? How would you like it if I listened to your podcast from a distance?

I would love it. That's a good song. Turned out great song. I would say turn it up a little higher, but I would love that. No, I like to barely hear it. From a distance. All right, look, guys, we're running out of time. Yeah, we're out of time. Yeah, we're out of time. Todd has been mentally over this for the past half hour, I would say. I mean, I like the first seven hours. Would it surprise you to know we're not even at an hour and a half yet?

I meant of their segment. Of their segment. Okay. The perceived time of their segment. I see. Well, we are running out of time. The brownies are done. We'll get those. We have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Open the plug bag, please.

All right. That was What's So Eerie About the Erie Canal by Sean Fogle. Thanks so much to Sean Fogle for that wonderful, wonderful plugs theme. If you have a plugs theme, go over to cbbworld.com slash plugs and you can be famous for a week. And Sean Fogle, you're famous for a week. Thanks so much. And guys, what are we plugging here? Todd Berry.

obviously domestic shorty yeah and i'm on tour i'm on my half joking tour which is half jokes half crowd work you you did the all crowd work yeah uh shows and there is some crowd work in this special yeah there is but now i'm i'm doing it where it's literally the first half is do you take an intermission that i take a four hour intermission it takes time to recover from the jokes perfect time to watch an avatar and then i do crowd but i've got dates all over toddberry.com

Todd Berry on Instagram. There is no better time at the theater than seeing Todd Berry. It's the best theater experience you'll ever have. Yeah. And Bob and Liz Fay, anything you want to plug here? Sure. Hi, Casey. We love you so much. Casey, give me a call. I'll talk about the local sports teams for a minute before I hand the phone over to your mother. Let me know what you thought about those articles I sent you. And...

Two nice pals of Casey's, Jess McKenna and Zach Reno are doing some touring dates with Off Book, the improvised musical. And you know what? Our local show's actually sold out. Good job, Minneapolis. But if you're in Detroit or Atlanta, or you want to come check out the live stream, all that you can find on the Off Book Instagram. Can I go to Detroit and...

listen on live stream. You could. You could probably do it just from New York, though, or wherever you happen to be. You could watch the live stream, I think, for a month from any of those cities, but we'd love to see your face with our face in Detroit and Atlanta. It's good for you to know his friends' names. I write them down. I'm smart. Casey also does a thing called Holy...

s-word improv uh how do you feel about that and not a fan of improv more than the swear word honestly me either honestly but uh it's a fantastic show again lots of famous people he tells me have been on it who have also done this show you can check why isn't he famous if he's doing it with all these famous i think his pitch is that if he performs enough with famous people people just start thinking he's also famous i think that's kind of i'm not sure it works for me work for me so you can check that out uh on uh it's uh the

at Patreon. They do every episodes up on the patreon.com slash holy shit improv, or you can go to the Instagram and they do shows in LA at UCB and at dynasty typewriter. Check those out and just have a good day if you can. All right. Um, James and Jake, anything you want to plug? I mean, obviously all of the, the, the movie. Yeah. Next year, avatar three, the first two available and all, uh, digital formats now physical copies. Um,

I'm going to take some time to plug some things I've seen recently. I was in New York and I went and saw a live improv comedy show that happens on Sunday nights called Rat Scraps at a venue called Caveat on the Lower East Side. That sounds like an Avatar character, Rat Scraps. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. Probably should do that eventually. And I also, I was at Slamdance and I saw a documentary called

I'm George Lucas, a Conor Ratliff story. It's a documentary that was made about the George Lucas talk show. George is a friend of mine, obviously. This is a show about a comedian who pretends to be George Lucas. And then someone made a documentary about that comedian pretending to be a famous director. I'm not sure I get the joke, but I think it's fine.

Obviously, I think it's disrespectful to the art form. Don't you? Yes, I do. Yeah. And I would obviously I would never imitate a comedian. So I don't know why a comedian would imitate. Doesn't make sense. A filmmaker. It doesn't make sense. I appreciate that. Yeah.

Thank you, Tom. Also, Jim, if you're just plugging things you've seen recently and liked, you did tell me you like certain scenes of the new Mean Girls a lot. Oh, yeah. The new Mean Girls movie. I liked some scenes selectively. Yeah, I heard my friend Jon Hamm. Actually, I liked all the scenes. I liked all the scenes. My friend Jon Hamm texted, not to name drop like Todd did about Chris Rock, but he texted me to say that he really liked the scenes of someone named Connor Ratliff.

Oh, well, I like the scenes that Jon Hamm was in. Oh, really? I like him on Fargo. I'm going to like him even better when we get him in an avatar. We keep trying. You got it. You got to land him in an avatar. He'd be perfect. Top Gun got him and I was so jealous. I want him in an avatar. Can you imagine him shirtless on the beach? Putting his tail in a tail? Yeah. Yeah.

All right, Jake, Sully. Well, Scott, thank you for having us on. Thank you for being my dear friend. Sure. We love each other. We love each other. But we have a great relationship. It comes from a real place of love. I do listen to this podcast. I am a listener. Thank you so much. But my favorite podcast, and what, in my opinion, is perhaps one of the most pro-Avatar podcasts historically, have held that line for a long time, Blank Check with Griffin and David.

Yeah. It's a David Sims film critic from the Atlantic. They love Avatar. Some other guy. It makes you question their taste level. Some people think it's like a bit. Yeah.

And I feel like they've really backed it up with a lot of reasoning for why they think it's legitimately good. But it might be a bit. It's one of these bits that might not be a bit. I really want to make it clear it's not a bit. Okay, got it. But their ninth anniversary is coming up. Of course, the biggest anniversary a podcast can ever experience. Of course. And they're doing a live show at Town Hall in New York. Wow.

And I heard tickets were moving really fast and then slowed down. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like really fast. And people were like, holy shit. And then they were like, oh, it's almost now swung the opposite way. Wow. Dramatically. So just plug that. Yeah. March 8th. March 8th. Okay, great. For the big nine. The big.

Big nine anniversary. Wow. Yeah. Okay. That's good. Are they covering a movie at that show or? They're covering a lot of movies. That's a spoiler, but they're going to be covering a lot of movies. So like nine movies for nine years? Here's a spoiler. More than nine. Ten. Amazing. You said it, not I. Okay. Wow. That's incredible. Also, I'm American. I want to plug America. America, the country. Yeah. That's nice. Where I'm from. A great run. Over 200 years. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

I want to plug, hey, speaking of live shows, Comedy Bang Bang is part of the Netflix is a Joke Fest. That is May, somewhere around May 6th, 7th or something. I checked the website. There were literally 20 tickets left. So they may, but those are very similar. Day that they went on sale, almost 90% of the tickets were gone. And then it took about a month to get those last. Huge opening weekend at the box office. Turns out to be a little front loaded.

A lot like the Avatar movies, you know, where like everyone goes that far. What are you fucking talking about? No, okay, never mind. $70 million opening and then it ends up at 700. That's like a 10x multiplier. Okay.

Um, but, uh, check us out at, uh, the Netflix is a joke fest.com I think. Uh, and then also the action figures they're on sale right now. The, uh, Scott Aukerman figure and the JW Stillwater figure. Uh, those are on sale right now and shipping this month, I believe. And, uh, I've seen the next four that we're putting out and they're very funny. And then, uh, I've been getting a lot of requests for, uh,

from some of the performers to be in certain action figures. So check those out. You can get the info on my socials and everything. And I think that's about it. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?

All right. That was Night at the Plugsberry by Ebenezer Splooge. Oh, wait. But that gives me an idea. An avatar where all the water is replaced by Splooge. Scott. Okay. Come on. That's naughty. Jim? That's a good idea. It is a good idea, right? That is the plot of Avatar 69. All right.

Guys, I want to thank you so much. Todd, great to have you on the show. Thank you. Come back another 10 years from now. I will. I'll come back much sooner. Okay, great. And then The Faze, we'll get all this over to Casey. I'll make sure. Oh, good. Thank you. Love you, Casey. Bye. Have a great time, everybody. And James and Todd were right in the mic. Yeah, just chew that right. I mean, I realize the show's not over yet, but that's TV energy. That's TV at a 10. As I did that, I was like, this would bother me so much if someone did this on my podcast.

But your podcast is defunct. Yeah, that's probably wrong. Jake, you're opening one. And of course, James Cameron, you're all eating into the mics now. Thank you so much for coming on the show and telling us about all these avatars. People are excited. People are excited. People love Avatar. And they don't just stop thinking about it the moment it's over and then happen to go to the next one because it's something to do.

I'm going to read that as a joke. And the comedy comes from how false it is. And how much we love each other. That's true. We love each other. How much of a gentle ribbing we like to give each other every time we see each other. This is all language. That point's been made. Yes, exactly. And James Cameron, great to have you on. Great to be here. Anything going on in the Terminatorverse? Yeah, he's going to be back. Okay, great. All right, great. Thanks so much. He said he would. All right, yes.

You'll keep coming back. Yeah, got it, got it. He meant like many times. Okay, got it. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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