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I just met you and this is crazy, but you came out of me, so you're my baby. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.
Ah, yes. Thank you to 00Shits. 00Shits for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Thank you to 00Shits. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang Indeed, third episode of January, and we have an incredible show for you today. Coming up a little later, we have a... I believe they're a toy maker, but I could be wrong about that. They could maybe... Maybe they just work at a toy shop or whatever. Either they make the toys or they sell the toys, whatever end...
of the transaction they're on. We will certainly be talking to them. We also have a rock and roll legend on the show. That is very, very exciting.
And so packed show. My name is Scott Aukerman, by the way, and welcome indeed to Comedy Bang Bang. We have our first guest here. This is very exciting for me because we have another entry into the exclusive one timers club. Someone who has been on the show one time, Ben Stiller, Donald Glover. These are this is the kind of company you're keeping.
Yeah, this is exciting, right? Sorry, I pecked in. I didn't know if I was allowed yet because once I get going, I can't stop. Please. I love that. Yeah, I mean, this is an exclusive, exclusive club. They've never returned to do the show again. No, I haven't yet proven myself to not return. That's true. You know what I'm saying? So hopefully, like...
We don't anticipate that I'll never be back. No, no. But I'm saying currently, if you ever are back, it means your career is worse than theirs because you have joined the two-timers club. Oh, I see. Because they got so big, they would never return. Yes. I got it. Okay. Yeah. So you hope to be in the one-timers club. Right. That's interesting. And I hope that you're in the several-timers club. No, thank you. I'd prefer to be in the several-timers club, I think. Well, maybe not to success exactly, but...
I feel both can be achieved. Wonderful. Well, currently you're only in the one-timers club. She has an incredible new Netflix special coming out this week, tomorrow. In fact, if you're listening to this the day it comes out, it's called Get On Your Knees. Please welcome Jacqueline Novak. Hello. Thank you. Oh my God, that was so pro. You know what I just realized? Hmm.
because this is one of the first things I learned in comedy is when you're introducing someone, the last thing you say is the name, right? Is the name. Yes, exactly. Sorry. I just, I noticed it and I remembered instantly this like early open mic I did in New York where the guy asked me like, can you MC in a pinch or whatever? And I went up and it all seems very obvious. Like,
like it seems obvious because you hear it all the time but it wasn't like so I got up and I was sort of like okay you know so next we got Zooby Zooby and and let me tell you a little bit about Zooby Zooby and then you tell a long long story and I just go this person they're phenomenal and then I go here they come you know like it was like and after after the guy was like Zooby Zooby himself was and by the way Zooby Zooby I'm really bad at generating like a fake real name yeah exactly which
I mean, that's a skill when you're making a script and final draft. They have a name generator like tool there. Yes, which I'm I'm terrible at. But do you do you let the tool help you? Sometimes my old dear friend who's no longer with the Stuart Kornfeld producer. He once told me that the way to anytime you're in need of a fake name, go to an old Abbott and Costello movie because they have the best fake names for their characters. Yeah.
I've never done it because... It's like go to an old Abbott and Costello movie. It's like something that in theory, I don't know, like I picture like I have this shelf with all the, like my box collections, you know, like almost like that's part of being like in comedy. Like you just have box collections of Abbott and Costello like ready to queue up at any time versus like going to like YouTube and finding...
One clip. So where is Zooby Zooby now? Let's see. Zooby Zooby. What are they working on? I wish I couldn't come up with a fake. Look, I guess you don't come up with fake locations. No, but I and this will be the only thing I say about the Joe Coy hosting the Golden Globes. Yeah, yeah. But I noticed he did that during the Golden Globes where he said a person's name and then he he continued on for two sentences.
And I was like, you got to say the name last. Oh, really? Yes. Really? Yes. Wild. Stop pointing at me. By the way, my Apple Watch is like, I'm humiliated. I'm sorry. Okay. This belongs nowhere in art. What do you call that band that looks like a sporty band? It is. It's like, you know.
woven oh my god my phone is buzzing which it's not supposed to do I live a do not disturb life okay I'm humiliated you gotta give me some tips because uh uh you know the the dings for do not disturb have been the the uh fifth character on comedy bang bang wait for real yes so despite your your dnd despite putting it on dnd I've been getting the dings yeah I believe uh Brett Morris has has shown me the trick there will be no dings on this episode that I can swear remove my dings necessary um
That's interesting. Yeah. Isn't it interesting? Jacqueline, it's so great to have you on the show. You are a comedian of renown. Thank you. You. Great to hear. Tell me about the show, because it took an interesting path to Netflix. Yes. Most Netflix specials, you take a comedian on.
You say, hey, do you have an hour? And they kind of go, uh, sure. And then they barely have the hour. That sounds lovely, though. I know. Maybe they have 20 minutes and the rest is filler. But your show is the real deal. It's 90 minutes. It started, of all places, off-Broadway. Oh, my God. I know. The Great White Way. Yeah.
Tell us about this. The great off-white way, I guess they call it. The great taupe way. Yeah. Yeah, it took that route because, you know, I really wanted to have a comedy special. I've been doing stand-up forever and I wanted to go for it and have kind of like an ambitious...
you know, hour plus, because obviously I couldn't contain myself to an hour, but, you know, sort of like the big show, the big special, right. The big, like, and make like, Hey, here I am. Yeah. Yeah. Despite like, you know, having been there for 15 years, you know, ish. Right. But just like the big, put it all together and really go for it. And I, I wanted it to be a special on a big platform like Netflix. Um,
And but I didn't really feel like they were interested in that. Like, you know, from me, I kind of felt like I've been around for a while and they're kind of like, yeah, we know. We know who you are. But yeah, yeah. You know, right. It felt like it's weird. It's weird how they decide who to give specials to. Yeah, it is. You know what I mean? Like, it's very odd. Yeah. I mean, it's like and it's sort of this, you know, like just this feeling of.
trying to get a sense of like where you stand in the minds of this abstract idea of the industry and like, you know, all that kind of stuff. So I sort of switched it in my mind and was like, I have to go really hard on, on something. Um, and in order to shake, like, Oh my God, hold on. I hear, I hear voices. I hear voices outside.
Okay, phenomenal. Do we have a special guest arriving in studio here? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. It's the director of the special herself. Natasha Lyonne is here. Hey, nobody knows it. Hey.
Could be anyone. We got a little personality here. Finally, I mean. Kept in no personality. I was really, I was not. You got here at just the right time. I'm a real Jacqueline Novak. I gotta admit, Jacqueline was struggling. I was. No. I was sort of. She was trying to put a sentence together and I was rooting for her. I'll tell you what happened. I didn't leave a lot of space. Is this a microphone?
phone is this you gotta talk she could probably diagnose it before she could diagnose without having been here for it probably what would happen no me struggling to put a sentence together with oh really you i well here we go yeah define that as your problem okay thank you maybe the inverse struggling with these headphones like jacklin has been struggling you're fucking struggling all right struggling so there's fucking three people in this room not struggling it's the three of us all right
I'm not taking this shit from nobody today. All right. Hello, everybody. I'm a nice person. Yes, you are. Hi, pretty. Hi. Nice eyes. I've come from the American Film Institute, where I belong. My friends, Steven Spielberg, sorry to drop him. And Meryl Streep were there, and it did run long. What exactly were you doing over there at the AFI? AFI? No, honestly.
I would have a whole other career. But my business is not knowing professionally. See, this is how you get interviewed on a podcast. I don't know how to. You ask me the question and I start deeply contemplating and answering. The first thought only. Hello, Scott. How are you, honey? I'm not going to talk like this. This is my real voice. I've just decided.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 44, and I think it's time. Oh, to start lying about my age. Wait, are you just 41 now? Thank you. That'll do. Yes, I've just turned 41. I know someone who decided they just turned 41 themselves. Really? Really? Is that you? No. Well, congratulations, everyone here. Except for you, Novak, who's 29 next week. Yes, congratulations. And we have a big special coming out. Thank you. It's big 2-9. Thank you.
Jacqueline, would it surprise you to learn that Natasha here is joining the exclusive Two Timers Club? Oh. That's right. Have I been here before? Yeah, you've been on the show one time before. Yeah. With our good friend Jake Fogelman. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. First of all. This location? Not this location. I am inclined to believe you over myself. Yes. That said. That said. I remember us distinctly.
Taking what became your family Christmas photo. Yes, you were on the television show as well. That was a television show. That was a television show, yes. Okay, and what you're telling me... That's what those cameras were doing.
Is there was something in between then and now? Preceding that, I believe. Yes, that would be between. So this isn't a contest because Novak would win, just to say, if we're doing IQs. But anyway, you're saying I was on your podcast. You were on the podcast quite a few years back. I'm so happy we spent that time together. Before you got here, Natasha, we were talking about the genesis of the show. We were talking about how it was off-Broadway. It became a setback.
a sensation off Broadway, uh, produced. We didn't talk about this. I'm just going to encapsulate it here, but produced, uh, by, uh, yourself, Natasha and Mike Birbiglia. Uh,
And now it's directed by the great John early. That's right, John. Yeah, he directed it. And but yeah, John directed the stage show forever with you. Yes. And really, I directed the special. Yeah. It was out January 23rd. Yeah. Coincidentally on Netflix. And but really, I would say that Novak is the auteur of the operation through and through. Thanks. I mean, like tips to tales. Yeah.
Yeah. And she's got both. You have tails, really? Oh, yeah. Tuxedo jacket. Both toes. A tuxedo jacket and... Spats. Right to the floor. Yeah. Let me talk to you about the substance of the special because it's about...
uh an interesting topic to uh to myself at least uh which is uh why don't you tell us exactly what it's about i mean say the word blowjob yeah sure uh yeah well i sometimes people like it's about blowjobs and i prefer saying like it's about the blowjob because it makes a little bit more like we're talking about ideas here people you know uh like versus like blowjobs like i don't know so it's um
I think it's, here's what I like. I've heard this said by others. Ostensibly, it's about the blowjob. But the true subject of Get On Your Knees is, and then there's various things. Like sometimes people are like, the finitude of language. No, really? Yes. You know, and I'm like, yeah. It's about the disappointing finitude of language. I get very excited. So I like to sort of have the blinking sign say blowjob.
you know, man eating chicken, right. And then get them in the room. And it's, it's a man eating chicken or whatever. To get you into, into watching the show. I'm a little, I'm comfortable with a, with a carnival barker, kind of like basically like pitch it to the, I like to pitch it to these people over here as a sort of, you know, um, literary, whatever, get them in and, and get them laughing. And then I like to pitch it to the sort of comedy world, like, uh,
Get in, you know, come laugh and then oops, I like. Well, actually, I don't want to say oops. It's disgusting. I hate that word. What do you mean the inverse of that? I think. Right. Like bring them in with the blowjob and then hit them with the or big stuff. Oh, yeah. Or to some bring them in with the big stuff like tell the theater crowd. Yeah, it's a it's a dissection of language.
put sex and power or whatever and then come in you know and uh so i so i'm very like whoever i'm selling to today but i think i think with this show it's hard to say i suspect this audience is is like it's perfect i think this audience is probably right in the sweet spot i think my audience they're all working class people they love their families
Wow, you're running, aren't you? Versus the funny idea. They go to church on Sundays. Just like me.
I accept a godly, there is a godly spirit. There is a spiritual element to the show. I really do believe the Catholics can get behind it. I mean, it truly is very. I read one review that said it was a. A show for Catholics. Who love blowjobs. The word ostensibly, I believe, was used. It was ostensibly about blowjobs, but it also delves into your history and childhood and.
you know, a coming of age, perhaps is what you read. I wrote that. Okay.
I like hearing it read back to me because I'm in there. I'm in those press releases. But it's 90 minutes and it doesn't focus exclusively on the topic because you diverge into other places. It's a little red violin. I can't actually remember that very clearly. Wasn't there a red violin finding its way through a film? Yeah. It's sort of a... I haven't seen that one, but yeah. I think I... Yeah. It's a... Or...
Yeah, to me it's sort of an organizing theme, or like the blowjob in three acts or whatever. It's kind of like I heard about it when I was in seventh grade or so, and here's what my initial thoughts were about it. I found myself arriving at the time in which it seemed I was supposed to do it, sometime in high school, and then sort of my evolving thoughts about it later around sort of college and whatever. And so it's sort of like...
a narrative of just my thinking. You know, it's like not that much actually happens.
I will say when I first saw the show, I don't think I even clocked it was about blowjobs. And it's not that I didn't hear the word. I just couldn't. And this is no reflection on me. I definitely don't remember my first blowjob. Or my last. The ones in between, though. My God. Were they doozies. And...
But weirdly, I think that I'm like so not moved by sex as a concept. Totally. Even am I. Wait, sorry, go on. No, you. No, no, no. But this is actually key. Yeah. Like I am humiliated and confused when people are like,
Like one time a reporter was like, so penises, when did you realize they were funny? I was like, I have literally no interest in talking about penises. I guess that's what I mean. That's always tricky for me or what I'm protective about. Apologies is I guess it's such an odd thing, right? Because it is called Get On Your Knees. It is ostensibly about a blowjob in three acts, I guess. But to me, that's not what the show, that's not what I got from it just as a viewer the first time at all. What I got from it is like,
who is this motherfucker? And how can she weave a sentence like this? And what is that fucking brain about? Right. Well, that is something I wanted to talk about because it seems like you have a very unique style in your standup. It seems like so many, not even just standups, but people in the world, they, we all use the same slang. Everyone's like proud of using all the same words and, you know, like zaddy,
Right. Riz. Riz is in. Riz. Rhymes with jizz. Thanks. I'll be here for another eight minutes. But, you know, like everyone just takes pride in saying everything the same exact way. Yes. And then your special is just such a wonderful example of someone coming out and having a unique brain where you're constructing sentences in such a way that that is just very, very impressive to me.
And I'm trying to do it right now, and I'm sounding like a dumb shit. Well, as you know, I struggle to speak extemporaneously in a lot of ways because I am trying to...
feel out what I'm thinking as I'm saying it. I don't know how anyone thinks something, constructs how to say it, and then says that thing. To me, that's deeply confusing. I don't think. I think you mentioned you were a poetry major. Is that right? I was in poetry classes. I mean, in this special, I used to write poetry in college and whatever. I wrote other things. No one writes just poetry. You have to do a to-do list every once in a while. What did you major in?
English, writing, writing concentration, just like, but it was, you know, fiction and drama. Why are you so philosophical? Without the philosophy major? Did you do a philosophy major? Yeah. No, but my dad's pretty heavy on philosophy. I see, yeah. What does that mean?
Well, he has a podcast called The Cunning of Geist about Hegel. Okay. That I helped him start. Same audience. But it's self- They're just working class people. They love their families. But he's, you know, proudly like self-taught. He's like, you know- In the podcast realm or in the philosophy realm? Both. But in the philosophy realm. So I think he, there were a lot of books lying around growing up and I would sort of
read them. And I don't know. That's what they're there for. Yeah, yeah. Find my way through them. And so I think and ask him about whatever he was reading. And so I think that's sort of where that
part comes from. But the thing about, yeah, the thing about... The constructing of the language and the way that you write the jokes is just very impressive. And it's very unique. And a lot of the thoughts in there are thoughts that you would... I always love it when I'm watching someone with a very unique brain where I go, oh, I would never hear that thought. Maybe the genesis of the thought other people could think of, but I would never hear it
just said in that way. It's, it's always very, it's wonderful to hear. No, that, that's phenomenal. That makes me very happy. Um,
You seem happy. No, I'm just trying to draw. That's me in my happiest. I'm never not thinking. I'm never so happy. But I would say that is the part that I identified with right away as a tollbooth philosopher. That's a term. Are you working the tollbooth or are you passing through it? As a hobo philosopher, you know, riding the rails. I
I think immediately that's what I clicked into with Novak without really sort of even hearing the blowjobs, which were coming fast and furious. I was really like, who the fuck? Like, what is the, what is of what this brain is up to in there? And like, what,
what kind of soul constructs this kind of thing and how can that person be so fucking funny like it was just making me laugh so hard that somebody was that sort of heady and like just fucking did the
brain was just going like boom boom boom boom I don't think I'd seen personally somebody you know that sharp in some time well it is not only is it 90 minutes which is more than an hour but it's also jam packed with language so it's what I was trying to say before is like
You'll get comedians who barely have 20 minutes doing an hour because they just stretch everything out and you're like just going, going, going, going. Yeah. Yeah. That's part of why I go really fast. And it's like to say it's to stay. It's like a bicycle. You know, if like you slow down to like nothing, um,
it falls over. You just, you got to keep pedaling and not, you know, it's like, that's not been my experience with bicycles. I guess you can coast, right? There's truth about coasting, but we've all just been so used to people just putting out these specials and being like, okay, you're funny. Who cares? Yeah. You know, I agree with that sentiment of like,
A radical act, a big swing. It's like, for me, it's almost, I think I experienced everything that we do is like music on some level. And it's almost like when seeing Novak for the first time, I was like, whoa, I really am hearing it. Maybe that's what you mean by the spiritual, like the music of the spheres of like, my brain is just going on a lot of levels and also doing what I believe is the most spiritual act, which is like doubled over music.
laughing, which to me seems like the only place where you truly lose yourself in this life. Like it's the only genuinely unselfconscious thing we've got where, and it can happen with like a fucking, you know, the taxi driver, it happens at the deli, it happens with your pals, whatever.
But when you're suddenly just like fucking doubled over laughing and then your brain stops working for a second, even though you're talking about like, you know, it's like I got to fucking break up. I'm being, oh, whatever. The stakes have never been high. I'm dying. I'm telling you it's a necessary suicide. And suddenly you're doubled over and it's like you've touched a third space like some other person.
layer, ether opens up and I just, so anyway, I experienced it kind of as music and I love that there's that thing of not the same old thing. And not that the old thing is a bad thing or a good thing. It's a sort of agnostic thing, but to really see it and sort of like have yourself sprung wide awake is very exciting and rare, I think.
Well, get on your knees. Out tonight, if you're listening to this the day it comes out. Out now, if you're not. Yes. We need to take a break, if that's okay. When we come back... Oh, we'll pee right here. On these microphones. When we come back, we're going to have a toy maker or seller I don't know and a rock and roll legend. This is an exciting show. We'll be right back with more Comedy Badminton after this.
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51 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang Bang, we're back. Jacqueline Novak is here. Get on your knees out on Netflix tonight. And Natasha Lyonne is here, the director of said special.
And she has put on her sunglasses. Yeah, I feel like, you know, now I can even text message. Yeah, now you can relax. Act two, baby. Yeah, exactly. Act two. Yeah, we're in B block. This is where the stars get to relax. Are you kidding me? I'm taking a picture here in portrait mode of my two flumes. It's my comedy special coming out, my two flumes. My two flumes. Yeah.
Out on Tubi. You know, these little babies. It's the way her hands hold things. Yeah, thank you. Jacqueline and Natasha taking pictures of each other. Well, and you, young skin. And you, my old friend. A huge part. Sorry. I want photo approval of that. Her fingers tapping the screen, a monitor, like with her fingernail at the back of her hand, right? Just going...
You like that? It's a huge part. Love it. It's a huge part of you as a director. Oh, thank you. When I go like this? No, other way, like this. Like you're like, see this right here? Can we get a close-up of this? Oh, I go like this with my knuckle. I'm a knuckle director. I learned that from Stallone on Rocky.
Well, it's time to get to our next guest. Yes. You know him from Melissa and Doug's Toys. Please welcome Doug. Hi. Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? Thanks for having me. Yeah, my pleasure. This is Jacqueline. This is Natasha. Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. Well, yeah. Yeah. Are you a toy maker or are you a toy seller? Well, I don't physically make them, but my wife, Melissa, and I founded Melissa and Doug's Toys. I know it so well. I remember when it came out. It was like...
I mean, sorry. Oh, no. Getting right in there. But yeah, no, it was like the wooden. It was like these are quality, quality, educational toys, puzzles, play sets, all sorts of things like that. Just I guess I don't know it all that well. Where exactly is this a shop or is this a company? You buy them in stores like almost anything else. It's not its own store. Not like almost anything. I mean, there's plenty of things you can't buy in stores. Like what? Thank you, Natasha. People?
Wow. I don't know. Wow. You went there immediately. Andrew Tate might disagree. Yeah, I fucking dropped it. Wow. Uh-huh. Deep cut. Dark. I went to the dark web, kids. Not my bad.
To clarify. Don't. No pull quotes, please. So, yeah, I guess you could say I'm the Andrew Tate of toys. No. Honey, don't do it. Don't. It's bad. It's toys. I don't know if you know who he is. I was just going along with it. You're trying to go along. It's all right. You don't want to be the Andrew Tate of anything. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah.
Anyway, so you have toys made. You design the toys. What do you do in the process? I'm trying to figure this out. Yeah, we started the business because we had children and we wanted to have more educational toys that stood the test of time. They weren't just cheap plastic things that broke. That look hideous in the home. Exactly. They make noises and they flash. And we just got sick of that. And Melissa was so good at designing those things and just coming up with these ideas. What are some of the toys that you... Are you familiar with puzzles?
I am. Thank you, Natasha. Sorry to yell. I bow with a mic on them. This is my voice. I'm 27. So...
I love puzzles. I do crossword puzzles, spelling bee, wordle, connections. This is a little more like banana in a banana shape. Yes, exactly. Oh, I don't do those. Exactly. Like a six-parter. Farm animals. And you'll be like, which one? Where does the cow go? No, that's the shape of a horse. They're very difficult for two to three-year-olds. Good for four-year-olds.
I see. And you know what? It just really took off in a way that was amazing. And then we sold Melissa and Doug's. I don't know if you know that. You know, Doug can design toys too. No, we're still together. I love her so much. She's the light of my life. But as a business entity, she wanted to do other things. And I was like, I'm still doing toys. What is Melissa up to, if you don't mind? She has a wellness company now that she runs. Are you serious? Yes. I don't need that. Yeah.
You're not interested in the wellness space? No, I'm just so well already. But I guess it would be about how to maintain that wellness. With toys. What can Doug do that isn't
what you sold. You know what I mean? Great question. Yeah. And what I'm learning is it's very hard to do without Melissa. She was the brains of the operation. You know what? Business and creative. I think she was pulling the cart because I'm. Yeah. What did Doug do in the previous business? Huh? Yeah. Well, you know, I was there. It was Melissa and Doug. It was named after you. Melissa and Doug. Yeah. Uh huh.
So you had that, but you didn't design it. Well, I had an office. Oh, okay. That's fun. Yeah. It's fun to have an office. It was good to have an office. I could go there and I could sit around. It's not always easy to explain to others on the outside. Maybe you were a sounding board on which the ideas would. Well, I think we kind of like bounced off each other a lot and it was just so like nice to do that. Now I'm realizing kind of on my own and having this own thing. It's too hard. I don't like it.
What are some of the toys you've come up with? Well, yeah. You know, it just turns out I don't really know what kids like. The first thing we did was a play set where a kid could pretend to be the editor-in-chief of Interview Magazine. See, I like that. But that's almost like I would want that now. Yeah, kids didn't care for it.
And it would be too small for you now because there's a small child's minimalist glass desk. A standing desk? A standing desk with a phone and you just have a bunch of proofs of potential covers with the strokes on it. In my mind... Did it come with a little Andy Warhol wig? Yeah, you got a little Andy Warhol wig. I thought, oh, kids will love it. They'll sit there and they'll be like yelling out, be like, Kushner canceled and Karl Lagerfeld's dead. Get me someone else. We got to fill 10 pages. And, you know, it just didn't work.
work and it was I think the $900 questioner. Which Kushner? Tony. Anyway, we also had an at-home pet euthanasia kit that we thought would be useful. Now that I like. You know what? That one was geared right towards you and I thought I would get a reaction.
And that's, you know, that's... Still nothing? It's a kit in order to actually perform the act? Just pretend. Just pretend. I'm sorry. Human euthanasia. Pet euthanasia. Oh, I don't like it. I'm sorry. So you liked it when it was human euthanasia. Yeah, but not kids. Right. Grown-ups. The parents. No, not parents. Grown-ups. I just thought, come on, you know, because it's just... It's just hard...
to run a business right you know everyone here knows that everyone knows it's hard to just we all have businesses we all have loan out companies yeah well i think of us all as little mom and pop shops personally i think of that too and again when i sold we sold melissa and doug we sold it for 950 million dollars but i still consider us a bit of a serious right congratulations why do you need to do anything else
just to fill the days. Yeah. What did you do with the money investment wise? I'm taking notes. Uh, yeah, well, investment wise, I mainly put it into a Doug can do it to toys. Um, and I,
I might have missed that. Yeah. Is that the name of the company? That's the name of the company. Doug can do it too. I was going to ask. I was scared to ask. No. Oh, you can ask me anything. I'm an open book. Doug can do it too. Doug can do it too. Because people were saying like, Melissa's so great. Melissa's so great. And, you know, again, I love her so much and I tried to keep it in check, but the jealousy did start to bubble up. And I was like, this is going to be toxic in our relationship. So I need to prove myself. And then what I've proven to myself is I can't do it.
Right. I just can't do it. Form of proof that it takes a certain, you know, ego strength to be able to even recognize myself. So I applaud you for that. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it does feel bad. Really? It feels bad. Like all the time? All the time. Yeah, every waking moment feels bad and my dreams are bad. So you sunk $475 million into this company? A little bit more because we have a joint account and Melissa is very supportive. Oh, no. Yeah. But her company's doing well?
Her company is doing great. Gangbusters. People love Melissa. People really love Melissa. Did that surprise you? Like, did you... When you guys first got together, did you kind of think it was... If you met her, you know what? You would be like... You couldn't be more surprised. You couldn't be less surprised that people love her. What I was surprised by was that... It's not that people don't like me. It's fully ambivalent. It feels like...
your formula is adult things done for kids and I think kids just want to be kids. Yeah, I know, but we've kind of covered that, right? I know Melissa and Doug did all of that. Would you be in like a contract violation if you were, because you have a non-compete clause I would imagine. Non-compete clause for the $950 million so I have to pay it all back if there's any overlap. What if you pivot to them for, they're for adults? Yeah, because I think it would be fun like a play set for adults. Yeah.
Like, I'm interested in that. I don't think I'd want it scaled up. I mean, I think I'd want about 75% of my size. Yeah. So you feel like, I don't know. Okay. This is great. There's something to it that keeps it like a toy. What did you say the price point was on these things? Well, yeah, the EIC thing, the interview magazine was $900. Dollars? $900. That's too much. It is too much. Yeah. Jacqueline, would you pay $900 for this? I mean.
Oof, big money. I mean, I wouldn't if it was for a kid. No, if it was for 75% of an adult. For an adult? You would buy an adult a $1,000 gift after taxes. No, I wouldn't buy it for them. I'm talking about for me, maybe. Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I could see getting into kind of like...
I don't know. I don't know. That's a lot still. Plastic-based? Or is it wood? These are all wood. Still working in wood. That was not in the non-compete clause? No, you can use wood, and it's all mahogany. Okay, mahogany. Yeah, it's nice. Now what? Versus the blonde wood of Melissa and Doug days. Yes, absolutely. Of what? Melissa and Doug. I'm so glad you're here. Because I know nothing about this stuff. I literally thought you said inside Lululemon Davis, and I thought never seen that.
Can I ask a question? Do you make them by hand? Me personally? Yeah. No, I don't. My hands are far too shaky. They're not very good for this. Why do you have shaky hands? I'm just nervous all the time. Gushing sweat, shaking all the time. Yeah. You seem like a nervous guy. Honestly, I hear you talking. In a different way. I'm sort of like, what does Melissa see in you?
Well, you know what? I ask her that every night before we fall asleep. Every night? And you know what she says? She says, I see you. And that lets me calm down for five minutes. Isn't it beautiful? And then the dreams, the bad dreams come back. Whoa! Almost! There's always a spill at the party. Almost dropped his water, but you can't, you know, there's always a spill at the party is what I always heard. So, yeah. And may as well be the guy that spills it. Now, do you have clammy hands, honey? Yes, very clammy. Yeah. Why is that, do you think?
You know what? I don't know. I think it's genetic. I remember my dad's hands being very clammy. Yeah.
Did he drop you as a child? No, but my mom did. My dad has a very sturdy hand, but my mom did not. Sturdy, clammy hand. I think he overcomes it because they were so sturdy. He's like, it's going to slip right out, so he holds on. One time my mom did drop me down three stone steps. Three stone steps? Three stone steps. It's a story I've heard my whole life. That's interesting when they like to clarify that. Why do they keep telling you it was stone? I think to know that I could be dead.
I think they wanted. It's not like it's not like a carpeted, nice 80s. Yeah. So I think, no, these are three stone steps. Right. Are you dead, honey? Excuse me. Are you dead? Yeah. You're not a ghost right now, right? You're not haunting us. Well, I don't know. It's possible that all of you don't aren't aware that you're in sixth sense situations or that all of us are ghosts. And this is our purgatory. I mean, when I hear Melissa every night says, I see you.
It kind of makes me think that you're non-corporeal the rest of the day. Oh, I like where this is going. I see you. I'm now invested. You've officially peaked my area of interest.
Yeah, now that you think about it, this does clarify a lot of things. It does seem like, you know, as she's never, it feels like she's looking through me when she says it. Yeah, can I ask, like, did she break off the Melissa and Doug partnership because you no longer exist? Right, did you die and that's why? Well, I mean, I never had to sign anything. And the lawyers who would never talk directly to me were saying things like, well, we have to dissolve it now because.
legally. Was there an urn involved at the time? Well, there's a pretty jar, but I don't know if it was an urn. Were the words power of attorney ever brought up? Every day. Every day. Doug, I think you're dead. I think you're dead. You all think I'm dead? I think so. Who am I to think anything? I can't believe that
this is how I find out. Like, I'm a fan of all your work. And so, like, I guess if I had to find out, like, this is... It's always nice to have dead fans. They say that helps the ratings. And it's gonna, you know, it's gonna... It's coming for everyone, so... Yeah. And it's gonna turn around for you.
buster how so i'm coming back uh well you know there's theories i mean right they get these ice caps out of the fucking thing and the parasites release the next thing you know the dead are undead and so on we've seen it before hell freezes over hell is full do you uh hope to to finish your unfinished finished business whatever it is and then eventually go to hell well i
Hold on. There's a big assumption there. Oh, I just assumed. I don't think you have to go to hell. Did you accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior? Yeah, you're going to hell. Did you accept Lucifer?
Yes, but I didn't want to lock myself into just one of them. Kind of ish to both. Yeah, I was like, why not? I'm kind of one of those guys who in school was friends with everybody. I wasn't in a club. Right. No, you're going to hell. What's your favorite kind of music? All things. Yeah. Well, look, Doug, we have to take a break, but you as a ghost, you have nothing but time. Can you stick around?
around oh yeah I might be haunting your house so I guess voice electronic voice phenomena that's what we got going yes exactly that's right we're catching it right here on our microphone this is a big deal we have to take a break when we come back we're gonna have more from Doug he'll still be haunting the podcast we'll have more Jacqueline Novak we'll have more Natasha Lyonne plus we have a rock and roll legend we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this never made that sound ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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We also have Natasha Lyonne here and we have Doug, the former toy maker, now ghost. Yes, now I'm a ghost. And you've accepted it really. Well, because you might not be. I mean, like, I feel like a ghost can't be held to their debts.
And I have been in a lot of debt. I made some bad businesses, so if I'm a ghost now, what are they going to do about it? Okay, yeah, that's a good point. Although I guess they could sue Melissa. Oh my God, I didn't think about that. Yeah, anyway. But we need to get to our next guest. She's a rock and roll legend. Please welcome, for the first time on the show, Jenny Power. Thanks so much for having me, Scott. Hey, it's my pleasure. Great to be back on the show. First time, actually. No, no, I was on it a long time ago, before you were the host, even.
Oh, the pre-Scott years? Yeah. It was Johnny. Oh, yeah. We barely even remember those years. They were so long ago. Well, it's wonderful to have you back on Comedy Bang Bang. Man, it's great to be back. Rock and roll, man. You're a rock and roll legend. That's true. I'm not quite sure that I've heard... I am not.
- I don't know. - You don't know Jenny Power, come on. - Come on, Skye. - Well, we all remember, of course, I started, I was the lead singer of the Screamin' Chickens. - Oh, the Screamin' Chickens, oh, wow. - I thought you said the lead sea monster. - I was the lead sea monster of the Screamin' Chickens. It was fucking groovy, man.
We did a lot of shit I don't remember, but yeah. But the stuff you do, I would imagine, is crazy. It would blow your mind.
But yeah, the band broke up due to allegations. Really? Allegations of impropriety? No, no, no, sorry. Allegations. Oh, wow. He was our manager and it just didn't work out. But he touched a lot of people, so it was no good. Well, I'm glad you got out from under his thumb. Yeah, you know, it was good for a while. You know, I did a few other bands, you know. It was, you know, San Francisco, man.
Oh, wow. You can't even imagine. It was San Francisco, man. Yeah. Really? I went there a couple of times. Yeah, groovy. Yeah. I mean, I didn't hear any music when I was there, but. Oh, man. Yeah, me neither. I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge. That's pretty groovy. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty groovy.
That's awesome. You know, it's a bummer you didn't catch any of my bands, you know, all the years, you know. Yeah, I don't know. I really have never heard of any of your bands. The Screamin' Chickens. Screamin' Chickens. I feel like I've heard of that. I mean, and I know nothing. I'm so in my own world, but I've definitely heard of that. You might have heard my project after that. It was Jenny Power and the Big Time Boys. That sounds like, I feel like I know what that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was me and a bunch of groovy cats. It was...
It was Pepper, Felix, Oreo, Frisky, you know. Yeah. They couldn't play any instruments. They kind of just roam around on stage. So they were cats. Cool cats, though, right? A little bit of both. Hep cats. Yeah. They would just kind of roam around. I'd be barefoot, and we'd all kind of just like meow around. Right. How long did they live? What happened? You got into some sort of hippie phase? What happened to you? You know, it just like...
It got swept up, man. It was the fucking 60s, right? You know, the fucking... You look amazing. Yeah, honestly. You do. Thanks so much. Yeah, you know, I brine myself every night. Oh. What is that? And you gotta drink it, and you gotta douse yourself, and you gotta sleep in it. Like a pickle, you know? A pickle can last for years. You just stick it in the brine. So I sleep in it every night.
Is it a liquid or is it a dry brine, like with a turkey? Like, how do you do it? No, no. Oh, liquid. Like, what do they call those tanks you go in? Yeah, flotation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sensory deprivation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tanks. No problem. Yeah. I'll come to you next time. We forget where the... Go with words. Yeah. But yeah, I just sort of float in the brine and... That's great. I mean, yeah. You're obviously preserved. I mean, you look fantastic for a woman. I remember you when you were a cucumber, baby. Yeah.
Thank you. Man, we had some wild days. Oh, the shit we did. The shit we did. And didn't do. And didn't do. I would say the list of the shit we didn't do is shorter. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm just some dumb asshole that doesn't know. Oh, my God. You're a good God.
I just have, I'm not familiar with your work. Maybe you could, you know, do it. Scott's running for office, so he should probably tell him. Well, if you want, I can sing you a little something because I was about to announce my big tour. Yeah. Coming back, baby. From a rock and roll legend as described? You know,
This is going to be an amazing project for me, and I've been out for a while, and this is going to be my Jenny back in power tour. Oh, wow. Okay. That's perfect. Great brandy. We're doing a kickoff show at Silver Lake Lounge, so...
Okay. Good venue. It's going to be fucking major. Yeah. Silver Lake Lounge. I just want to show everybody, like, I still got it, you know? Like, I can sing just like the old days. Yeah. People say my voice is gone, but I don't dare they. I mean, it's definitely raspy, but maybe it was originally. Again, I'm not familiar with your work. My first word was da-da-da.
Oh, like a raspy gangster saying, Dad, I went bad, bad. Yeah, the voice isn't gone. The voice is... It's just, yeah. Sort of... Stayed consistent. Yeah. Yeah. So you have a song? Yeah, yeah. I'll sing a little song. If you guys know it, I'll feel free to sing along. Okay. It's a new song, but... No, no, it's an old song. Oh, I see. I see. Okay. You sure? I don't know if you want to kind of pipe in. Yeah. Yeah, you guys know this one, huh? Yeah, I didn't know this was you. Well, I'm covering it.
Oh, okay. Hell yeah. I did first. Okay. Here we go. Anyway, we just saw each other. And then I got along. And then I was talking to me. And then we was walking. Then we were walking. She's kept ahead of it already. Yeah. And then we were walking. And boy, to my surprise, Eddie, I'm the only one who could ever read.
What a sign of abatement. Yeah, he's singing along in the boat. Just sing back up. Come on, you know? What a sign of abatement. Yeah, he was. Yeah, he was. So that's just a taste thing. Yeah. I got a little shy. Sorry. I wanted to join in, but I got too shy. I would say it barely qualifies as a taste. I mean, you really weren't singing all that much. I liked it.
I mean, look, you have an audience and ghosts here. You didn't think I was singing? Well, I mean, you were kind of mumbling. Is that safe to say? I mean, to me, I mean, a song is whatever comes out of a songbird's mouth. You know what I mean? That's a songbird. I guess so. Thank you. You know, the...
I mean, you know, maybe I'm not the right headspace. It's not the sort of American Idol. You know, that's over, right? Right. You can find that kind of voice a dime a dozen. Sure. Every town's got one. Someone say that a song is only as good as the singer itself. Who would say that? Scott? I guess me. Okay. Well, they just say that. Okay. You're right. Running for governor or president? I'll get to one of these. Don't you worry.
I'm so glad, by the way, you're taking a glass of water. Sorry about my cough. I've had it since, I don't even remember, you know, back in the day, Jimi Hendrix bet me I couldn't choke on a marble. Joke's on him. Those $10 is still rattling around in there. As long as it's still rattling around. Do you know Jimi Hendrix? Me? Yeah. Never crossed paths?
No, I don't think so. Not yet? Maybe. I don't know. How long have you been a ghost, by the way? That's a great question. And as soon as I'm home, I'm going to try and figure that out. When were you born? I was born in 1912. And I remember being in my 40s. Yeah.
Okay, so I think you're on a dance for now. 60 years. Yeah, you've been dead a while. Yeah, this is a huge day for me because so many pieces are slotting in. So he kind of dropped in for the Melissa and Doug years? Because I've heard about that. A soul can drop in someone else's experience. I don't even know if Melissa's still alive, to be honest. She's definitely alive. Yeah, she's definitely alive. She's beautiful. Wow. What's it like, man? Being dead? Yeah. Well, I didn't know until now it was different. Yeah.
So it's a lot. It's very similar. You still have bad business decisions. You still have to drive places. I have a car. It sounds bad. What kind of car? Yeah, you have a car? Yeah, I have a car. You know what? And you're going to make fun of me. I got a Tesla and I got it early before I realized there's all this baggage with it. But now I'm realizing I think it drives itself. I don't think I'm driving the car. Yeah, it's a self-driving Tesla. Yeah, I just drive into it and it drives. And you've been in a lot of action.
Oh, yeah. It's always on fire. So I just get another one. Yeah. How do I get the cars? I don't know. I think you're just floating into them. You're just seeing them. Yeah. Other people's things are in the car. I think you're stealing them, man. Ghosts can't steal. That's a good point. I don't think that's true. That's what I always say. Ghosts can't steal. I have a bumper. Well,
Well, Jenny, you have a big show coming up. Yeah, I got a big show, so a lake lounge. Yeah, that's incredible. And you do mainly covers that you did originally? Yeah, you know, it's interesting, you know, in the early 2000s,
Please take as much time as you need to cough. That marble's still in there. Yeah. Oh, it's a marble. I thought it was a Marbro. Oh, yeah. That's a different image. Not my marble. Sorry. My marble came loose. Oh, hold on. My marble came loose for a second. Oh, hold on. You can actually talk normally. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, wow. Hurry up. Let's start a scene. Hold on. Here we go. Here we go. Yeah, you hear that? You got this. Fresh. Fresh.
Yeah, feel it, feel it, baby. You got it. Here we go. I'm realizing the issue is I don't know the words. The words, yeah. I think that's more the issue. You're not saying any of the consonants. It's like listening to an Ariana Grande song. Yeah, it's not so much the voice that's the problem.
I gotta learn the words. You know, I thought you said continents. I didn't. I just wanted to be there. You didn't say one continent in that whole song. Incontinent.
Well, look, my one suggestion is before your big show, learn a few of the words, at least the chorus maybe. Honey, do your thing. All right? It's been 72 years. Thank you. Rocking it out with your cocker it out. You know what I mean? You see me. Well, guys, you know what I see is it's time to do our last final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs. Here we go. ♪
All right. That was Plurgs by, who was that by? By Josh Strupp. Thank you so much, Josh Strupp. That was our plugs theme. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com slash plugs. You can be famous for a week. And Josh, you are famous for a week. And what are we plugging? Obviously, Jacqueline, it's your week to shine.
Get on your knees on Netflix and come get some merch on jokesnovac.com once you finish the special and say, how do I take a little piece of this home with me? What kind of merch are you? T-shirts? T-shirts, sweatshirts. Hats? I got some hats. Whoa!
She's got a lot of iCarumba stuff. I dropped some new merch. I got a classic. I'm going to drop some new merch. I first found out about you because of the merch cart. Oh, mailing list, baby. Okay, this is what I... Some groovy cat came into my shop and said, you got to check out this merch cart. Yeah, Novex Famous. Novex Famous merch cart comes with me everywhere I go. Are you also selling Good Lakes Simpsons merch there? I've seen Axe do the...
do very well with that sort of thing. But it doesn't feel right for me. Okay. I understand that being the tenor of your act. Yeah. There was. It was a bunch of cowabunga dudes, but you cut them. I simplified and narrowed the cost. Calvin peeing on things. Stickers or anything like that. I moved that...
slowly away. I phased it out. It was mostly a skateboarding show before the blowjobs got involved. Yeah. A lot of people don't realize. Yeah. Natasha, what are you plugging here? Obviously, look, a big week coming up for you. Poker Face nominated for... And, uh, I just thought it would be over. I, uh, oh, I'm sorry, Space Time. But, uh,
I'm the only thing I care about in my life is the baby Novak. So that's January 10 and 23rd, which is today. Okay, it's 2024. You don't have to tell me twice. Did I think it was 2025? Sure. It's got on me as usual. But here in January 23rd of 2024, Jacqueline Novak, get on your knees on Netflix.
dot org dot edu sure wherever you get your Netflix okay alright here we go and Doug anything you want to plug I mean you're a ghost yeah I'm a ghost so you know I guess just check me out in hell yeah
Yeah. Right next door to Hitler. Yep. 666 St. Lane. Right. That's a Jake Fogelmash joke. Oh, really? Okay. And Jenny Power, obviously you have your show coming up. My upcoming tour. Any other things you want to plug? Any media that you're a fan of? Oh, you know, I saw this show. I was up late.
I saw this show on Adult Swim called Three Busy Debras. Oh, that's a good show. I've seen that show. That made me laugh. Three Busy Debras. I said those girls are crazy. I am hot for that show. They're going to freak out to know you're a fan of that. Legitimately insane women. I love it.
Yeah. And they're busy as hell. Yeah. And there's three of them. Yeah. So like the title does not lie. Yeah. They all got brown hair too. Pretty nice. Yeah. Pretty nice. Yeah. Wow. Get on your knees. Three busy Deborah's and hell. Some wonderful
things to plug. I want to plug, look, head over to cbbworld.com and you can check out such shows as my other movie show, Scott Hasn't Seen. We also have The Neighborhood Listen. We have CBB Presents with Hey Randy and this book changed my life and so many other shows. And now CBD oil on all the CBD products. Yeah, we're doing CBD CBD. Yeah, it's sick. It's an incredible time for merch. Also, look, we're doing a show at the Netflix Is A Joke Fest on May 9th.
I think there's still like 20 tickets available for it. But head over to... Not after this. That's right. Yeah. Head over to Netflixisajokefest.com or something like that. You can find the information wherever you want. Just look it up. All right. Let's close up the old... Oh, and let's plug Google. Google. Google. Always important. Because that's where you'll find
the information. Why are you wasting your time on Bing? Head over to Google. You gotta get there and make sure that they get some noise. Google. Google.com. Yeah. All right. What is it? What is it?
What is it? What is it? What is it? Hello. Oh, yeah, that was Empty Plug Bag by Phantom Mohawk. Thank you so much to Phantom Mohawk. Boy, these remixes have been great. We're at the beginning of the year, and the last two we've heard have been amazing. Guys, I want to thank you so much.
Jacqueline, wonderful special. I really enjoyed watching it and getting to know your point of view. And I hope to see the next one. Yes. Not too soon. Yeah. Like don't put one out next week. Yeah. Because I think that would. A couple weeks. Yeah, a couple weeks later. Yeah. Get on the road. Make some money on the road. Exactly. Get one together. Wonderful to have you on. And maybe someday you'll join the Two Timers Club. Much like our other guest, Natasha. So great to see you again.
I honestly, it's always a thrill. I really am so charmed that your Christmas card is me dressed as you and you as yourself and us as your family. A few years back when Natasha was on my show as my single white female stalker who dressed up like me, we got a picture of
my wife and you and I, and we set our Christmas card out as the three of us. Yes, and it really, it brings me deep joy. I don't want you to know that. Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, it's great to see you again. And Jenny Power, so wonderful to meet you. Good luck with that show and good luck with learning all these lyrics. You got a lot to learn. Hey, learn from the best. Great advice. I'm pointing at Jacqueline. Yeah, of course. And then Doug.
Hey, yeah. Hey, you know what? Thanks for having me. Oh, I'm descended. Oh, my God. Wait, this was your unfinished business? Really? All right. We'll see you next time. I guess not you, Doug. Hey, I'm going to jump in that portal. No, stay with us, Natasha. Let's all go. Stay with us. Oh, no. We're all being sucked in. You can host the best backyard barbecue.
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