WE CAN'T DO EXERCISE | Trash Taste #209
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- Oh, saying that gone, do you think there'll ever be an attitude that hits 10 million subs? - Maybe through shorts, that's more likely. - Yeah, from shorts. But I think like hitting like 10 million views a video, like main channel video, like a long form, I don't know, it's tough. It's like movie reviewers, right? - How did that happen? - Think about like movie reviewers, right? Like the biggest movie reviewers.

like maybe on like a big video they can pull 10 million, but like no movie review or TV show review is pulling 10 million every episode. A lot of them just get like a mil to like- - I'm saying 10 million subs. - Oh yeah, I mean, I think some will get 10 million subs, yeah, for sure. I think if like three of us had like fully committed to like click bait and shorts and all that stuff easily, yeah. - Yeah, fair enough. - It's just not worth it.

- I just think like, 'cause we started when the grind was a lot different and like gaining subs is a lot slower. So like, I think if you did our grind, but like today it would look a lot different. I think the subs would be different too. - Cakewalk. - No, no, no, I just mean, you know. - Honestly, I feel like if I just,

It's ironic, I feel like if I went back to giving up on everything but my main channel, I think like I'd find it so much easier to grind out videos now. - Yeah, probably. - Yeah, true. - But I don't think you producing like two videos a week would make any difference to like subs. I mean, YouTube has also devalued subs so much. So I don't think it works. - That's true. - All right, are we rolling?

- Okay. - Oh shit. - All righty. Hey, welcome back to another episode of the Trash Taste podcast. I'm Joey and I'm with the boys Connor and Garnt as per usual. Did you just nod? Are you recreating the Joey nuts? - No, that is my favorite thing of all time. If you guys haven't watched that, it's on screen right now.

- Why are you putting it on screen? I was just doing. - It's just how raw it was. It felt so raw. It felt so real. - Oh, I did. - I genuinely think you did not. - I probably did. - I think I've never even like done that. I've never like come down that hard. Oh God, we're getting demoralized. - I love how we're just starting off this episode with nut talk. - Yeah, so what have you been up to?

- Not a whole lot. - Not a whole lot. - We are boring. - I can't do something. Do something Joey. - Here's the problem Connor, the things I've been up to, I can't talk about yet. Like a lot of stuff is like eventual. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that's happening like later in the year for me, but like I can't talk about any of it yet. - I got a question to ask, when the fuck did you get a personal trainer?

- Yeah, you said you got a personal trailer. You mentioned it offhandedly. - You mentioned it offhand, just like upstairs and I'm like, when did this happen? - Oh.

- I think I started going, when was it? I think it was like March this year. - Oh shit. - Yeah, so. - You telling the boys now? - You like trialing out? You didn't wanna like tell us unless you were sticking to it? - I didn't think it was that important. - I can't tell the boys, tell them it's serious. - No secrets. - It's like a relationship. I can't tell them about it. - It's like honey, I've been waiting to tell you this.

- I have the personal trainer. - I have the personal trainer. - No, so Aki and I have been going to CrossFit for the past like, yeah, three or four months now. She's been going a little bit longer now. But the thing that made me like click over to be like, okay, I really need to start actually physically working out now was, this is so pathetic to talk about, but back in February, I went to Hokkaido for a day, right? To film with the polygamist family. - Yeah. - Right.

And the entire day I was carrying around this backpack with like all my camera equipment, microphones and everything. It was a fucking heavy backpack. We went, we ate, we did the interview, we finished and then we had a bit of time before our flight back to Tokyo. So we were just kind of walking around exploring Sapporo 'cause Sapporo is a dope city. Yeah, it's a great city. And then somewhere along the way, I guess,

I guess I pulled my back out like really, really bad to the point where I couldn't walk. - What the fuck? - Yeah, and it wasn't like a regular like back pulling where it's like, you know, maybe you bend over and then you just suddenly feel like the twinge in your back. No, it was like this gradual pain that just kept getting worse and worse and worse throughout the night. And by the time I got to the Sapporo airport to fly back home, it was so incredibly painful. Like I was,

I was barely able to walk. I got back to Tokyo and managed to- - I brought the wheelchair for you. - It was close, man. It was literally close. - Holy shit. - Like it was really bad. And I got, you know, I went into a taxi, went home and I was basically bedridden for about two or three days. Like I physically could not move at all. It was really, really bad. And it was at that point where I was like, okay, Joey, you are so fucking not fit.

and you're approaching 30, you need to do something about this. If you're pulling your back out at age 29, that's a bad sign. - This is the most I'm hitting 30 moment I've ever heard in my life. - That shit hit me like a truck. So, you know, I did that. And then it was a couple of weeks prior to that, that Aki was like, I'm gonna start, you know, going to CrossFit. - That's the real reason. - Yeah.

- My girlfriend started going, I guess I gotta start going. - You can't let your girlfriend be better than you or something. - No, she was going to the CrossFit and at first I was like, oh, okay, go ahead. I'm not gonna do it 'cause whatever. But then after that whole back situation happened, I was like, okay, I think I need to start going. - I think that's how it always happens though when you get really into exercise. You need to have like a wake up call that makes you think like, oh, I'm...

like horrifically out of shape. - Yeah. Also like just thinking about my past couple of years of going on and off of the gym, I found out that I'm the type of person who is definitely not self-disciplined enough to actually go. Like I need someone there. - If you book something, you'll go. - Yeah, if I book something and there's someone there that tells me exactly what I need to do to stay healthy, to stay fit, then I'm much more capable of maintaining that. - Fitness is tough, man. Fitness is tough. - It is tough, man.

The first time I went, because like I didn't really know anything about CrossFit like at all. Like I'd heard the name, but I didn't know actually how intense it was. So the first session I went, I fucking, after the hour long workout or whatever it was, I threw up.

Like I was physically sick in the toilet and the guy was like, yeah, well that makes sense because you haven't done a lot of physical exercise recently and then you're suddenly jumping into this very extreme form of exercise. - The question's intense. - Yeah, your body is going to like- - What is CrossFit?

So CrossFit from my understanding, it's basically just like, it's like gym combined with a lot of like athleticism. - Okay. - So it's not just about like, you know, like building muscle and stuff like that, but oh, it's in Japanese, great. - It's a lot of moving, but also like lift. So you're like doing a lot of intense, like high intense cardio whilst doing like weightlifting. - Yeah, weightlifting, cardio. Yeah, it's basically the entire package. It is, I would say the,

quickest shortcut to getting the most fit in every aspect. - I think, doesn't Nick, Nick Peters, the K1 fighter, Chris's boxing coach, I think he owns a CrossFit gym. - Oh, okay, does he? - Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. - He's also insane. He's just...

- And like every single year I think they do like these CrossFit championships. So they bring out all these CrossFit athletes from all over the world and they kind of do it in like a, so it's like, it's usually like a time trial. So it's like, you have to like lift this many times, you know, travel this amount on a handstand and then do a bunch of all this kind of stuff every single year. And it's fucking intense. - So it was kind of like a,

intense workout session with a little bit of everything. - It's basically everything. Yeah, so I go there now like once or twice a week with Aki. We have a trainer there that tells us everything. The dude we have is like, he competed at like the top level CrossFit like couple of years in a row. So this motherfucker's fit as shit.

But yeah, I've been going to that now and I just went yesterday and I am below 10% body fat for the first time in my life. - Hell yeah dude. - Nice, nice.

- Shockingly, haven't thrown my back out since. - If you get like fitter in general, right? Stuff like, I guess generally will happen. - Yeah. - You can always go overboard. - Yeah. And I've always wanted to do it either way because I've been that one kid who I think like genetically, I just have that kind of body where it's like, it's really easy for me to drop fat, but it's also really easy for me to drop muscle as well. And really difficult to gain muscle. 'Cause you know how like there's a lot of people- - You've never really been like muscular from what I've known.

- I was skinny as shit when I first met you guys, remember? - You used to be very, very skinny. - Too skinny though. - Sometimes I look at like episode one of like "Trash Taste." You know when you see your mate every week so you don't notice like the small change and you're like, "Nah, Joey's always looked the same." I go back to episode one and even myself, I was like, "Was I that thin?"

- Yeah, I look as well. - I think during high school and uni, I was this height and I was averaging like 55 kilos.

- Jesus Christ. - Yeah, it's just like no fat, but also no muscle. I was skin and bones. - Everyone had that one friend in the friend group who was tall and skinny. - And I had like this big- - I was that guy as well. - We have the same body type. - I was tall, skinny with big hair. I was like a walking Q-tip, you know?

It was an eyesore to say the least. So like, yeah, so I've been doing that now and I'm probably the most fit I've ever been in terms of like muscle mass and everything.

And I think as well, the great thing about CrossFit, at least the one that I'm going to, is that unlike a lot of fitness programs where the guy obviously, or the guy or girl tells you, you have to do this amount of cardio today, or this kind of weightlifting with the right movements. But a lot of them also kind of give you dietary restrictions. So to be like, okay, make sure you only eat this amount of carbs, or this amount of fat, or this amount of calories.

the interesting thing about my trainer is that he doesn't do any dietary restrictions. He basically said like, as long as you're coming once or twice a week and doing the exercises to the standard that I said it, you will naturally want to eat healthy.

because your body is gonna just get constantly, you know, used to living this more healthier, more physical like style that once you start to see your body actually physically changing and how you physically feel day in and day out, you'll want to maintain that no matter what. So you won't be going out there like smashing a pizza every weekend, you know, like you'll want to be like- - I might, I might.

- I mean, you might look. - I was just an Indian for you. - Never gonna say no to a fat curry. - Bro, I mean, look, like I can't say that I haven't had my cheat days, you know, every now and then, but I've definitely just personally just seen myself craving those kinds of foods less now, just naturally.

Just because like, again, like I'm- - The more you take care of yourself, the more you don't wanna ruin what you do. - Exactly. - You're like, man, I spent so hard to burn those 200 calories. I don't really wanna eat that chocolate bar. - No, totally, totally. So yeah, I'm hoping I can keep that up. - Anything that gets you in the gym or get you doing anything. - Yeah, why don't you do a cyclothon?

- I stopped going to the gym now because I'm like, I don't have the cyclothon. - I did the cyclothon and then immediately I had like, we had like a really busy week of filming and then I went on vacation. So I did like no exercise. Although in Europe, there was one hotel I stayed at where I did, I went to the gym every day 'cause I had like this,

- I love exercising. Like it's, if you give me like a blank 12 hour day and I could do whatever I want, I'm gonna, I'm good at exercise. - That's something I still don't understand. Dude, you, okay. - Dude, it's like a meditation. - Do you like CrossFit? Do you like exercise? - At first I was like, this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life. Like I'm sweaty, I'm sore, I'm tired as shit, I wanna kill myself. But then,

Nowadays I'm getting to the point now where I guess because I am getting like fitter and you know, my cardio is getting better and everything. Like at the end of each workout, I'm definitely feeling less tired and more fulfilled. Like I'm starting to get to that point now where like, oh, I'm able to like lift this now where I'm able to go this long on the bike. You know, I'm actually starting to see like progression now to the point where it's actually fun now to be able to like hit that next goal for me. Like it,

I don't know, it's like a weird, like, it's like grinding in an RPG. - But do you enjoy like the process of it versus like the results? 'Cause I enjoy the results as well. I enjoy feeling like I've made progress. I can run a little bit faster this time. I lift a little bit more weights. When I'm actually doing the thing, I hear people being like,

- Yo, after you go to the gym a bit bro, it becomes a part of you and you start to love it. I'm like, when the fuck does that happen? Is this a gym bro's trying to gaslight me? - I'm not at the gym lifting weights with like a massive smile. - I think objectively, the gym is probably one of the most depressing places in the world. 'Cause when you think about it, right?

Sometimes I'm there lifting, like doing just curls in the mirror. And I have this existential dread where I'm like, I am literally in a room lifting things. I'm just lifting things. - No, that's me on the treadmill. - Yeah, well treadmill as well, right? It's like, you're sitting there and you're like, I'm just in a building training like a, like a, like some- - Like a hamster wheel. - Like it's literally a hamster wheel. - And I'm sitting here like, objectively this is just not fun.

And I think that's my only problem with the gym is that it is probably the least fun form of exercise generally for me. And I know that I'm jealous of gym bros who love it. 'Cause I sit there and I'm like, there's no way in world that exists where I'm like, you know, I'm doing like, let's say we're doing like, I'm doing a rowing machine. I would love to row, just row so much more in like the fucking river or ocean. Just like taking it all in. That's peak exercise for me. But in my mind,

- To be able to enjoy that aspect, like to do like a cyclothon. - Yeah. - To be able to really enjoy that to the fullest, I need to be a level of fitness and that requires me to go to the gym to then be able to enjoy it. - But I think that's why I enjoy going with Aki is because like, you know, we can share that experience and it's been a great bonding experience as well. You know, going to the gym or doing anything with your partner, obviously, especially that,

of which is not exactly like the peak of fun necessarily while you're doing it, but like, it's a great bonding. - When you're doing it with a partner, I think it's a good chance. - 'Cause you're suffering together. - Exactly. - At least that's what happened with my YouTube. - And you can hype each other up and you can keep an eye out on your own progress, but also your partner's progress as well. - You also bitch out sometimes

- You're like, oh no, 100%. And that's why, again, when I used to go to the gym by myself, I found that so much more difficult because it was just me in my own suffering and in my own thoughts. And there was no one else. Remember when you and I used to go to the gym together quite often, right before the pandemic? That was great because it was like,

while you're waiting for, while I was waiting for Connor to finish up on whatever machine he was on, I could like chat, we could chill out, we could catch up. It was a lot more like,

a fun interactive time than just like putting on headphones and just silently doing this for 30 minutes. It's not exactly the most fun but- - I definitely went way more back then 'cause I just had way more free time. I think we hadn't started Trash Taste. I had my main channel, I was uploading once a week. - We had one channel between all of us. - Yeah, there's a lot easier to like, I could easily be like, I don't need to work for like three days 'cause I did a ton of work the past four days. And then I could just,

- Just go to the gym all day. - Yeah. - And then when I was on vacation, it was great 'cause I just, there was this, I didn't have the gym, it was like some kind of like Apple store, bro. It was so nice.

They had fresh fruits and like sparkling water. - Oh bro. - And weird teas that I'd never heard of. - God damn. - And I was like, shit, this is where I just wanna chill out here. And also, especially at the time there was a League of Legends thing was on. - Oh, okay. - So it was great. 'Cause I was just listening. - Is that when MSI was on? - Yeah, I was just watching the live MSI, like watching a live. And I was in there for like three hours just doing monkey workout. 'Cause I was like, this is great. 'Cause I just wanna do nothing anyway. But if I can do nothing- - And also get fit. - And also get fit.

- 'Cause in my mind, for some reason, my brain categorizes stuff into work, social, and then nothing. And nothing, I don't know why I've called it nothing. - That's just a gap in my life where I'm like, this is- - And nothing in Zooming Me means just like procrastinating or fun. Or just relaxing. - Yeah, or for being. - I find exercising relaxing,

- But gyms, oh man, it's not gyms that are depressing. It's so fucking depressing, man. But it's so good feeling fit. - Yeah, I mean, my gym is actually pretty good because, you know- - Mine's got no windows, bro. Mine's got no windows. - Oh, mine's got no windows either. - It's the most depressing shit. - Oh, mine is like four windows.

- You have to go like it's underground in fact, my gym. - Oh really? - Because like my gym is like in the middle of the city. - Mine is like four windows and the people who go there are like some of the nicest people 'cause like, you know, whenever you're like at that point in the exercise where you're like, oh man, I don't really wanna do this anymore. I just want it to be over. Like the people in my gym are just like,

You got it bro, let's go, let's do it. And I'm just like, yeah, all right, you know what? Fuck yeah. - Everyone turns out around and claps. - And starts clapping. - Come on, Joey. - Come on, champ. - You got this. - Are you going to like a more, not a like big chain gym or are you going to like a more local one? - I'm going to a more local one that also specifically is specific to CrossFit.

- Oh, okay. - So the people who go there are like do kind of like big, you know, five to 10 people CrossFit classes or they do personal training stuff like Archeonautics. - Yeah, this Anytime Fitness that I go to is the most depressing shit. And I thought like, oh man, 'cause everyone's just doing their own thing and like, and everyone's quiet. No one's making any noise. And not that I want it to be noisy, but it is kind of nice just hearing people like,

- Like pushing themselves. - Just grunting. - Just having a grunt. Like this guy, like this guy, like I remember he grunted a little loudly and then did a louder sumasen, like it's a sorry to like people around him. And I was like, dude, you just benched like 400 kilograms. It's good. - Sumasen for being ripped. - Like I miss that. I kind of miss that like the Hulk man in the- - In the old gym. - You remember the old gym? The guy who like ran the place.

- Oh yes, I do remember that. - He was like the gym dad. Every gym needs a gym dad who is like ripped to shit and just looks off to everyone. - There was no way, 'cause you know, I never really followed any gym stuff online 'cause I think the gym, the online gym stuff is really weird. Like the people talking online about fitness. It's a very weird online space.

I was like, looking back, I'm like that guy, he definitely took steroids. This dude was absolutely young. - Our Jim dad at our gym, he's this guy, a Japanese guy who's like,

- Honestly, you take one look at him and you're like, you look like a statue that the Romans- - This guy, our guy, right? - No, no, no, the one at my gym. He's like a Japanese dude, like six, seven. - I admire it. - Fucking, it looks like Zeus. He has the body of Zeus, but he is also the most shy dude in the world. - That's always how it is, man. - I'd walk in and I'd be like, "Hi, Keta-san." And he'd be like,

- They're always the nicest people. - Yeah, they're always like the most wholesome people. - 'Cause their loyalty remains to the gym. - Yeah, exactly. - Exactly. They ain't got nothing to prove. You can see the fucking body, you know what I mean? - Exactly. - They don't need an ego boost. - I mean, everyone online as well, whenever you talk about this kind of stuff, it's so annoying 'cause people are like, "You have to do it this way. "This is the optimal workout." It's like, dude, whatever gets you in the gym, bro. Whatever gets you eating healthy and in the gym, that's it. - Yeah, exactly. - Were you...

- Was your family like a very like exercise focused family or was it like? - Not really. I mean, my sister and I did a lot of sports growing up. Like I did a lot of like tennis and stuff growing up. - I feel like everyone did a lot of sports growing up. - Yeah. - That's just like you just have more energy as a kid. - No sports anymore. - Okay, at which point in your life, right? Did you kind of realize, at least,

at least especially for you, Joey, at which point where you went through life and you're like, I can just live my life, not think about health at all. And I'm never gonna gain any weight. I'm never gonna change my body. - That was me in high school. That was like when I was in high school, like six foot 55 kilograms, right? Bro, I was eating like eight sandwiches a day.

- I was like, you know those like massive- - Actually just loaves of bread. - Yeah, the massive loaf of bread that has like the 12 to 14 slices in it that you can buy at the supermarket. I would, in the morning, my mom would make like six to seven sandwiches of that and just like refill the package with all of the sandwiches. And I would take that whole thing and I would finish that before lunch.

And then I would come home, eat a massive dinner, maybe stop by at a Macca's on the way home after school with the 50 cents that I picked up from somewhere, right? 'Cause I was broke as shit. And yeah, I'd go home.

take a fat shit and not gain a single kilogram. I'm like, - It came in one end and went out the other. - I'm like, I am unstoppable. So when I finally moved out and I started living on my own and then when I started, this is like mid twenties for me. I thought in my head, well, my metabolism was this goaded during high school and uni, it's gonna keep going as usual. So I just continued to eat like shit and not exercise. And then over the pandemic, I was the heaviest I've ever been.

- I think it was the pandemic that was the wake up call for me as well. - I went from 55 kilos to 80 kilos. - Jesus Christ. - Whoa. - Yeah. - That's a lot. - Like 80 for my height and age is not fat necessarily, but compared to what I was, it's fat. - I mean, I'd say you gained a healthy amount of, I'd say you were probably underweight. - I didn't get fat, I got fat-er.

- I went from severely underweight. - Excuse me, you bulked actually? - I didn't go from zero to a hundred. I went from minus a hundred to zero, essentially. But I still wasn't happy with it because all that weight I gained was just purely fat.

because I wasn't working out. I never really had a lot of muscle in my body. So yeah, that's when I was like, all right, CrossFit it is. And then now I'd say I've got the most muscle in my body I have ever in my life. And I want to keep going with that. I want to be like the Zeus body. - I just want to work out to eat.

- I like this idea of just eating a fat curry, slamming a beer and being like, "All right boys, let's go and do a workout." - I just don't wanna be like those 90 year old grandmas you see sometimes with the 90 degree backs. I just don't wanna be like that. - Well, I mean, you have to go a long way to be like that. - I know, but after I threw my back out at age 29, bro, I was like, "I'm one step closer to that than I think I am."

- Why is life so unfair when it comes to calories, man? It just feels awful where you fucking, you work out, you feel like you've spent every energy within your body and then you realize this is just one beer. I've been fine for my life for,

- For one beer's worth of calories. - Yeah, like you've been walking around like all day, your feet are tired, your back's starting to get sore and you're like, oh man, I must've burned a lot of calories and you check and it's like, you have burned one bowl of rice worth. It's like, cool, awesome, love it. - It's also kind of cool as well when you, 'cause that's like a normal workout, I don't know, like if you did like a short run and maybe did some muscle, what's like 300 calories? - Yeah, it's like 300, 400 maybe. - You go and like kind of,

And the rum enough to be quite a lot. But then you're like, well, that's still like an extra protein shake and a protein bar. Yeah. That's kind of nice. That's normally fills me up. Yeah, that's true. I don't know. I just, I just like eating. So it's kind of. Same bro. Same. Same. Same.

- Who doesn't? That's just the biggest problem. - I did the Spartan race with Chris. - Oh yeah, how'd that go? - It was fun, yeah, it was great. It was kind of, it was weird 'cause- - What'd you have to do in it? What does the Spartan race- - Yeah, what's the criteria? - Yeah, so it's not too bad. It's, I think, maybe, I don't know the exact amount of obstacles, but about 20 obstacles and 5K run. - Okay. - So not bad. This one was in some German park in Chiba.

- I think it was a German theme park in Chiba. - A German theme park? - Yeah. - What are all these German theme parks? We went to one on our like Josh T's special. - Yeah. - It was actually the same. - Yeah. - So yeah, you kind of, you kind of, yeah. So I did the 5k one, 'cause I let Chris handle it.

So I got there and then this Australian woman goes, "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to meet you." And I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh, hi." And Chris goes, "Oh, that's the person who organizes the entire Spartan race." - Oh, it's organized by an Australian woman? - I was like, "Oh shit." She's really lovely and really nice. Sorry I butchered your accent.

- I'm offended for you, don't worry. - And then she was like, "Yeah, come do it." She was like, "Yeah, go." So we do it. I'm like, I don't really know what to expect other than I know I saw a bit of Chris's videos. So now I gotta climb a rope. Does it show you the obstacles? - It's kind of like a mock Sasuke race type of thing. - Is that a sack? - That's the kid's version. You're looking at the kid's version. I didn't do the kid's version, all right?

- For the record, I would have beat all of them, but I didn't do that. - I was like, I didn't know Spartans were going across. - I think I've seen a lot of footage from it. You have to climb up a rope, do army close stuff. - So you start off, we ran like 2K, which man, I hate running. - Same.

- I can literally bike across Japan, literally. I cannot run, I cannot run. - You don't get the runner's high that all these runners talk about? - Nah, that's bullshit. - From a very young age, I always used to get,

- Shin splinters. - Right. - Shin splinters. - Yeah, where your shin, the bone, right in the middle, like there. - Oh. - It starts to really fucking hurt. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And whenever I run, it just always hurts. - Well, it's because of the force, right? - Yeah, 'cause I'm too dummy thick, right?

- Your shins are cracking under the weight of your gut. - It's like my calves are great, my thighs are monstrous, but it's all being put on here. It's just not enough. So yeah, you do kind of stuff like this. - Look at this giga chat on the bottom left here. - God damn. - You don't have to do the date, you can just type in the obstacles. I thought it'd be more spaced out. So I thought you'd run a little bit obstacle, run a little bit.

- This one was like you ran like a K, did a thing where you jumped over a fence. It was kind of inconvenient. It was hard. It was very tiring. Jumping is tiring. And then run like another 500 meters and then you have to jump over like,

- Kind of like they called them, what do they call them in the Olympics? The hurdles. They were just really big. I nailed one of them though. You can see in the Mudan vault. Actually, yeah, we should pull up the Mudan video. Actually, yeah, Mudan made a fucking video like showing the obstacles. Why am I trying to do this?

- I love the thumbnail of this Mudan video because you and Mudan look so chill and Chris in the back is like, dude. - Mudan did it all in a suit. And there was so many crazy costumes. There was so many crazy costumes and Mudan got the most compliments or like questions. Everyone was like, suits? - Yeah, why is he in a suit? - And I was like, .

So we started the start line. It was kind of like, yeah, whatever we go through and then we just run for ages. - Why is Mudan always wearing a suit? - I don't know. - I don't know. He's just dedicated to that salary man. - Yeah, he is. - The day was roasting. Also, Chris was wearing the horrible shorts that you. - Which, oh, the one with my face on it? Oh God. Why? - So we're doing like a bristle little jog. It's just that, it's kind of whatever. And then- - What was the hardest part? - There's the first obstacle, there you go.

- So you just jump the tiny little fence. You're like, okay. - Okay, that doesn't look too bad. - Yeah, and then you go to, so we nailed it. - How many of those fences do you need to jump through? - Just one of those and then you gotta do a bigger one. - Yeah. All right, it's like a wall. - Yeah, it's just a wall. - Okay. - That's cool. - That's not too bad. You're like, all right.

- It's chill, cool. And then you go, you might've skipped. Was that what you had to say? Yeah, go there. Is there a wireless mouse? I could just go through it for you. Or you skipped one as well. - Can't believe Mudon is doing all this in a fucking suit, man. - Dude, I took him to a spot gym. - It's wireless, right? - You know the place in round one where you can do all the sports upstairs? - Oh yeah. - He was wearing a suit for that as well.

- And people were just like, why is this random ass salary man playing tennis in a suit? - He's just too dedicated to that bit, man. - 'Cause he got the perfect suit factory suit and they have like the really breathable stretchers. - Oh, the stretch ball. - The stretch ball. - They're game changing.

- Let's see this. - So once you do that, you immediately then run past some goats. That's me, wow. Sugoi, Sugoi strong. - Sugoi strong. - You go up another, go down, man, some of these hills were dicey. Okay, then you basically, I don't know what we're gonna do. - Is this your point of view? - No, this is Mudan's. - Why did he throw that bottle like a frag? - I don't know what he was hoping to like achieve there.

- So you jump over. - Why has he got his bag on him? - Oh, I nailed that one. So you jump over that. It's kind of tiring 'cause you have to like really sprint at it otherwise you don't do it. This one's super of a joke. You just go under, under then over, you know, just wow. Super Spartan. - Just like the Spartans used to do. - Just like the Spartans used to do.

And then you're like, okay, it's just like tiring. And then you have to carry this like, I don't know how heavy it was. It felt like 40 or 35 kilograms. - Okay. - Just walking around a course. It was just tiring. You're like, God damn it. It wasn't like tough, it was just annoying. - What a raving review. - Yeah. - It's not tough, it's just mildly irritating. - And then you jump over this.

- Not too difficult. - Did basically everyone that competed, did they pass the course? - No, no. So a lot of people, if you just can't do it, you have to do like a punishment burpees thing. - Okay. - And then this was really easy, but a lot of Japanese people were struggling with this. You have to pull like a 20 kilogram weight across the ground. - Right, okay. - And it's not too bad as you can see, I'm next to Muda and them. But like, obviously you can see like a lot of the Japanese people were like really struggling. - Yeah. - But it wasn't that heavy. I feel like if you're,

Like if you do any muscle workout, it's not too bad. - Yeah. - Okay, yep. - There's Connor just breaking something else. - And then this one. - Okay, then this one you have to do like a pull a sack of sand up. Everyone was like, you have to, it's so hard. You have to do this crazy technique where you- - Where you use both your hands. - You can see everyone's like really like using all of that body. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like going for it and helping each other out

- It's just a sack of sand. So like, I mean, it's, you know, it's not too bad. Mudan, he was using his entire body weight and like falling on the ground. And then I- - How heavy is the sand? - I don't know. I don't think it's that bad. I think it's like- - It doesn't look that heavy. - 30? So I was just,

- Pulling it up, not too bad. And then monkey bars. Oh no, this one you have to run up a hill. - Oh yeah, you gotta like use the rope. - Dreaded hill. - Yeah. - Yeah, but you can, you don't need to use the hill. You can just kind of like. - This looks like Takeshi's castle now. - Oh yeah, you can do that as well. - You can just go up it. And then you have to walk down it. It's not too bad. Like a lot of these are kind of hard to fail. This one's definitely a little harder. - Monkey bars, yeah. - Yeah, monkey bars. - Was that Chris? - Holy shit, he just ate shit. - Dude, Chris nearly did it.

I was so impressed 'cause Chris said like he had no chance. 'Cause obviously Chris doesn't do a lot of upper body workouts. - Yeah. - And he nearly made it. He ate shit though. - He did eat shit. - Fuck. - I feel with monkey bars you just have to go for it. - The problem was with this is that they were really sweaty. - Oh yeah. - Everyone was sweating them up. So I was trying, it was really hard to get a good grip.

- But I was trying to monkey it across. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I would do it. - Yeah, I was swinging across and I think no one else was doing that. Everyone was not using the momentum. - You knew how to monkey properly. - Yeah, I was like, "Guys, come on." - Yeah, look at you, man. - And then you hit a bell and did it. - What a fucking natural. - And then you carry another sack around. Just inconvenient. - Just a lot of sacks. Just a minor inconvenience. - By far the worst one and not for the reason you would expect. Look at the congestion. Look at this dude, bro. What is he doing?

- What is bro doing? - Blood's planking. - There was one guy who was scraping his entire back. It was real barbed wire. - Oh shit. - It was real barbed wire. And he was like, "What is bro doing?" Bro did not want to get dirty. But at one point, halfway, it got so close, even when I was on the ground, it was scraping my back. - Oh shit. - And I was just congested. And obviously I'm dummy thick.

So I'm like my ass is just like protruding through the butt. - Snake, snake. - Look at that. - I can't believe that's actual. - And then like I got stuck waiting and then I was talking to a guy 'cause the guy goes,

"Hi, where are you from?" I was like, "UK." He goes, "Do you know Ulster?" I was like, "Yes." - What, Ulster? - It's a place in the UK. - Oh, okay. - And he was like, "I've been there, very nice." And then the guy behind me screams, "Go, go!" And I was like, "Bro!"

"We are all stuck, it's traffic." By far the worst one, 'cause you're like, you couldn't even attempt to do it fast. - Also you could like actually physically get hurt. - Oh, absolutely. - 'Cause they're real barbed wire. - More monkey bars, but ones that swing. - These ones look easy, right? - Yeah, these one look easy. - Yeah, super chill. You can just swing across like a monkey, which for some reason no one was doing. You can skip everything if you just like, just, yeah, I don't know. Climb over something, super easy. Obviously you've done a run, climb a rope to the top. - Okay, so what was the hardest part?

- Probably the rope one. Honestly, the rope was kind of tough. 'Cause if you don't have any, like you just can't cheat it. - Yeah, if you don't have any upper body strength as well. - I would fucking fail at this 'cause I have no upper body strength. - Everyone was doing some kind of weird leg technique and I was like, you know what? Fuck it, let's just grab my, I'll just squeeze up to my legs and go up. - What do you mean by weird leg technique? - That's the right way to do it.

- Look at this dude on the left though. It's just like, it's three-legging that shit. - Oh my God. - You can kind of do some like leg technique, I think, which maybe Mudan, like this, you can kind of lock your legs to make like a ladder. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Throw a javelin, but you had to wait like nine hours to do it. Pick up a ball that weighed 40 kilograms and walk around a pole. - Okay. - This guy's just chilling, man. - That's "Parasiticals" editor. - Oh, is it? - Yeah. - This one, a lot of Japanese people struggled with.

'Cause I think a lot of the strength ones, Japanese people weren't as good at. - Yeah. - A lot of them couldn't even pick up the ball. I mean, it's heavy to be fair. And then my favorite part of the entire video, all this is watching me now walk up this. - Well, like straight up. - Look, look, wait, wait, it's gonna cut. This is the best shot. Dude, this guy, when he passes this guy, he was in awe. He was like.

- What the fuck is bro doing? - He looks so out of place in that. - He walked up it. Just straight up walked up it. - What a badass. - Just a casual stroll. - So like, it's like a lot of difficult, like I was definitely very sore the next day. 'Cause it's just a lot of like carrying your weight.

- I think from start to finish, it was about an hour and a half. - Okay, not too bad. - Honestly, the worst part was just getting there. - Yeah. - Yeah, it is far. - I mean, it's in Chiba, you said, right? - Fucking Chiba, yeah. And the traffic on the way back was miserable. - Yeah. - Would you say that was more like foreign people or like Japanese people? - Japanese people. There was definitely a lot of foreigners, but more Japanese. I would do it, but I think I would do the 10K next time. I think the 5K was a bit awkward 'cause you kind of run a little bit and then you're like, oh, it's...

- Oh, I'm just waiting in line. - Yeah. - It's a queue. - Yeah. - It doesn't feel very Spartan like, you're like, "Who are we? DMV lines." - That's the British race. - Yeah. - It's like, "What are we doing?" - Queuing. - We're queuing. - Do you know about the Ironman challenge? - Oh my God, that shit's fucked. Well, they do it all over the world. - Yeah. - It's like a branded thing. - Yeah, yeah. - That's fucked. - The Australian one- - It's like triathlon on like heroin.

- It is a triathlon from hell, basically. Do you know about it? - It is, bro, it is. - No, I've never heard of this. - So the Ironman, can you look up the Ironman challenge? - Actually, I can tell you how many calories I burn on the day as well. - All right. - I'll tell you on the spot. - Yeah, the Ironman challenge, I had a friend who used to do these like every single year.

- When I stream 16 hours a day and it's 600 steps yesterday. - 600 steps. - But yeah, there you go. Ironman Triathlon is one of the series of long distance triathlon races consisting of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 miles bicycle ride and a marathon. - Right. - Not bad, not bad. - And you have to do all that. How many calories? - Not bad.

- 4,000 calories? - That includes the daily burn calories. So overall the day I walked 21,000 steps. - Yeah, not bad at all. That's a good workout. - Yeah, there you go. That's the next one you should do. Ironman. - Next stream? - Next stream. - Next stream, Ironman. - But I think the thing is, is that I think if I prepped enough, I could do it slowly. But a lot of these things have time limits. They gotta wrap up. - That's true. - That's true. - I think I'm good at,

just when I get to a certain level of fitness, I can just do stuff, but not great. I'm not clean with it. But the fact that you have to do a marathon, fuck. - Yeah, that's after a 2.4 mile swing and 112 mile bicycle ride. Jesus Christ. - No, thank you. - Yeah. - That's why, like how you'd have to, I think by far the hardest part would be the marathon for me. - Oh yeah. - The bicycle ride, that would take a long time though.

- Yeah. - You would know. - You would know. - Yeah. You'd probably know the best. - I mean, it depends how, my God, that's ridiculous. What is like the average finish time? - 112 mile per second. - That's gotta be like a full 12 hour thing, surely. I'm sure, yeah, okay. - 12 hours. - 12 hours and 49 minutes. - Jesus. - Well, yeah, 'cause if I,

- Cycling 2.4, swimming 2.4 miles is tough. My mom does insane amounts of swimming. I could ask her. She's done triathlons, not Ironman ones. - I wish I could do more swimming 'cause I do actually enjoy swimming a lot. And also it's great just as a workout thing as well because it works every muscle in your body. - And it's non-impact so it doesn't hurt your joints or anything like running does. - But the problem is, man, like,

- Going to a gym. - Finding a pool. - Finding a pool in Japan and not paying out the ass is like level impossible. - There's a few members only ones, but it's like, dude, if I have to like commute 30 minutes to go to the gym, it's already game over. I'm not going. - Fuck that. - 2.4 miles away. Oh my God, that's fucked. Dude, I'm doing a marathon. Not even a marathon, 26. Why? Why? - Did you guys have a, did you have sports day in Australian schools at all?

- Like an all day thing? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We had sports. - Compete against each other. - Yeah, we had one twice a year actually. - Oh shit. - Oh really? - Yeah, we had one in the spring and the autumn. - What was your sport of choice when you were a kid? What was the one you represented? - For me, it was high jump and long jump. - Oh, okay, okay. - 'Cause I was always really good at long jump and high jump because I've always had strong legs.

- Never any upper body. - Because of the fucking reach. - Oh yeah? - Yeah. - You just got strong legs, huh? - I was fast as fuck. But yeah, I think for long jump, I like for like two or three years in a row, I held like the school record. - Oh hell yeah. - Yeah. - Wait, what was your long jump? Do you remember how long it was? - Long jump? My long jump I think was, oh God, I don't remember. It was like,

- Holy shit. - Yeah. - You must have a good technique as well then to get five meters. - No, I just ran fast as fuck. - Wait, did you not do like the leg swinging around thing where you land on your butt? - No, I didn't do that. - What the fuck? Can you get five meters? - Yeah, I think it was like just under five meters. - God damn. - Yeah, when I was like 16, 17. And then for high jump, I think I got to like 170.

- I think so. - Did you do like the proper like kick technique as well? - Yeah, I did. - The kick technique is not proper anymore. - Is it not? - I did the flip technique. - That's boomer. - Well, what's the technique now? - It's like the flip, like flipping your back over. - So you run. - I think that's not been metaphor for like 40 years. - Are you talking about like the scissor kick? - No, no, no, I'm talking about the fucking back flip. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, you said the scissor. - Yeah, you said the kick. - Yeah, the kick. - I mean, you have to like.

- It's called a jump. - Okay, yeah. - Back jump, whatever. - I would not call that a kick. - Whatever. - In what universe have you, if Joey did a front flip, we'd be like, "Ah, nice kick, bro." - Nice front kick. Yeah, no, it's the whole like flipping behind. - Yeah. - Yeah, you have to do that. If you did like the scissor thing, then the furthest you'll get is like a meter. - That's old man, that's old man. That man fell off. - Yeah. But yeah, high jump and long jump, I was always the best at. - What was yours? - Mine was the 100 meter. - Oh, did you win? - Oh, okay.

- Oh, okay. - Okay, so I remember this one sports day, I think it was like my very first one. And so, you know, every kid has something that they're good at. I was like, I think I could like run mildly fast compared to a lot of my other like class members, but this was like the entire school. So I was like, so everyone was like, "Go on, you can do the 100 meters or 200 meters." I can't remember, but it was just a sprint basically.

And I remember, did your parents come in for the sports day when you had the sports day?

- For me it was just students only. - Yeah, I think when it was primary school they did, but not for high school. - So for our school, it was like parents come in, everyone watches. - Like a Japanese sports festival. - Yeah, like a Japanese sports festival. And my mom, so I was sitting with my mom and I was like, my mom obviously being a mom is like super excited. Oh, I get to see my son compete and everything.

And I remember I told her I was doing the sprint and you know, we're waiting, we're waiting. And my mom like slightly tells me, "Don't worry, you don't need to win."

"If you do well, I'm gonna cook you your favorite meal "and I'm gonna come over and give you a big hug." - Say less. - And I'm like, "Wait, I'm getting chicken wings tonight?" I'm like, "All right." - What do I have to do? - "All right, what do I have to do "to get chicken wings tonight, mom?" Mother, I am ready for this race. So I remember I was like pumped up. I got on the starting line. I was like, "I'm doing it for the chicken wings." And my mom, I gotta perform well for my mom. - Yeah.

I remember whistle goes, I'm fucking sprinting. I've never sprinted so fast in my life. My legs start burning battery acid, but I'm like so focused that I don't look like, I'm just like looking down. 'Cause you know, like, you know, kind of like look down and then you look up when you're like running. So I remember this was like the hardest I've ever sprinted in my life. And I'm just like, holy shit, I fucking done it. I go over the finish line, I look up,

- I am so fucking far behind everyone. - No, no. - I was expecting my mom to be waiting for me at the finish line being like, "Bro, you did so well." And my mom, I just look over to my mom and she just has the most awkward, awkward smile in my life. And I'm like, oh.

- Oh my God. - I just like to think you cross the finish line, you look up, everyone you competed with is sitting at the bleachers just like waiting for you. - The award ceremony is over. They've already given out the medals, the champagne's involved. - The next race has already started. - Please, Garnt, get off the field. We're trying to start the next heat. - Yeah, I knew it was bad because I know my mom and she's just like, no matter what, she's like proud of me. And this is the one car.

- This is the one time when she just, she didn't even. - Not my son, not mine, not mine. - This is the one time when she was like, "Yeah, I mean, if you came second, I would've come give you a hug, but." - Wow, she wouldn't hug you unless you came second. - You did well, you did well. I was excited watching you run. - You didn't even get the participation trophy. - I know, I know.

- Oh my God. - But brought it back with the beanbags. We had a- - Beanbags? - What? - Yeah, did you not have beanbags in your school? - Yeah, when I was like five. - Yeah, this is like- - Wait, what do you mean by beanbags? - Oh, primary school. You talking about primary or secondary school? - Primary school. - Yeah, I think we had some. - Wait, you talking about like a bag race?

- No, no, no. Like there's like hula hoops and you had to like throw you back into it. - Yeah, yeah. That was like, 'cause we didn't start doing like real athletic stuff until high school, secondary school. - Oh, yeah. - We kind of do like, even the a hundred meter, I think we did like 50 meters, not a hundred meters. - Really? - Yeah. - Oh, damn. - I don't think it's a hundred. - Yeah, we did a hundred.

- Well, the kids can't run a hundred apparently. - No, no. - Apparently. - That's too far. - I guess it was like, no, we can't do it. - Yeah, because like my high school was like a pretty sports oriented high school. So like we had, we not only had two athletics days a year, but we also had a swimming festival.

- What? - Or like a swimming like competition. - Swimming festival? - It was like a swimming competition. So basically we would go to the local pool, like giant pool area, public pool area. And we would, the school would rent it out for the day and do like a swimming competition. - Oh, cool. - Of like, you know, different like breaststroke, you know, backstroke, all that kind of stuff. And then we also during the summer had a beach sports festival day. 'Cause our school was right next to a beach. So all the kids would go to the beach and do like beach flags and like- - That sounds nice, dude. - Yeah, and like volleyball and like all that kind of stuff.

- We had to fight in the mud all the time. 'Cause it fucking rains in Wales. - I mean, I participated in all of them except the swimming one 'cause I was never a confident swimmer. So I always looked forward to the swimming contest one because it's not like, it's basically voluntary. Like if you want to compete in like the a hundred meter backstroke, for example, like you just have to like tell the teachers, like I wanna compete in it. So like, it's not necessary to compete in any if you don't want to. So it was great. Like me and my other friends who were like

not competitive swimmers at all. We just like bring out DSs and just fucking play DS all day. - Oh yeah. - While we're just watching people just like, oh yeah. - Did you have to do cross country? - Yes. - Yes. - Fucking hated that. - Yeah. - We had a thing called a walkathon.

- Not a marathon. - What the fuck is a walkathon? - A walkathon, we had this walkathon, the St. Paul's walkathon, which they don't do anymore, which was a charity event that the school organized where the entire school walks from Manly, which is where our school was,

all the way till I believe it was Long Beach, which is about 20 kilometers one way. - Okay. - So the school would basically, you would pay to like go into it and then you'd spend all day just walking with the school from Long Beach all the way back to school. So it's 40 kilometer walk essentially. The reason why they got rid of it is because some of the seniors

found a hack where they would just, they just would go so far forward to one point where no one else was behind them, including the teachers. And then they just call an Uber. - Oh, okay. - And they just call an Uber, go to the checkpoint where they would get stamped on the hand and then Uber back to the school. And then people, and the teachers were like, all right, we're getting rid of this. That's fucked up. - Fair enough.

- Don't hate the player, hate the game. - Exactly, yeah, they played the system, man. - I hated doing long distance stuff. - Do you have a, sorry. - I hated doing long distance. - Long distance stuff? - Yeah, long distance was like the worst thing as well. - I mean, the walking was fine, but yeah, if it was running, yeah. - Did you do it also in like September, October? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, they always did it in September and October. - The walking thing? - The cross country running.

- So it was always muddy. It was always wet. It was always cold. It was horrible. - We didn't have cross country running. - Yeah, we didn't have that. - Yeah, beach days and ice cream. - Yeah, we would walk along a stretch of five or six beaches. - Oh, wow. - It was great. - We could try every craft tea along the way. - Yeah, every craft. - Hey, it was really hot, man. - We had to surf and frolic in the sand. - Yeah, exactly. - Did you guys have orienteering? Is that what it's called? - The one where they teach you how to use a map. - Oh yeah, yeah, we did that. - What, no? That sounds awesome.

- They would just like leave us. - In the middle of a field. - They would give us like three days and they would be like meet us at the checkpoint every day where you'd camp. And then yeah, you would just have to make your way. - That sounds sick as fuck. - Yeah, there was like no tracking devices back then. So the kids would literally just get lost. - All you had was a good old fashioned. - You'd carry a massive fucking backpack as well. - So you'd have to like carry the tents and everything. - Yeah. - Dude, I would fucking do that. Hell yeah. - I always brought extra weight 'cause I would always bring like

I would always bring ice packs filled with like bacon. And so like everyone would bring like- - I will not be able to survive out here without a bacon. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - Bear Grylls be like, I drink my piss. Connor be like, I need my bacon baby. - You can't imagine, right? Everyone's brought these like shit stuff that like, you know, is like campfire food that lasts like three days. It's all bad. When you got the squad, right? You've all had like a nine hours of hiking.

And you're like, "Boys." And you whip out a 12 pack of bacon. Everyone is like, "It's electric, dude." Everyone's like, "There's no shot you brought that over here." - Connor's like that, what's it? The "Side Night in Happiness" parody of "Bear Girls." The team there, guys like, "Reach all the way to the back to get the freshest milk."

- Dude, everyone, you can't imagine the morale booster. Everyone fucking lost it. And I'd bring a bread, like sandwich buns. So I would make sausage, I'd make bacon sandwiches in the morning. - Bacon sandwiches? - You can't imagine how ready for a 12 hour hike you are after two bacon sandwiches. You can do anything. I'm pretty sure like half of the UK is powered on bacon sausage sandwiches.

It was so fun. It was good. - Like a king, man. - Yeah, right? - Yeah, the only worst part about it is I wish I did it in like, I don't know, Netherlands or something 'cause shit in Wales, it's fucking hills.

- Have you seen the topography of Wales? Can you show the topography of Wales just to scare Jerry who lives in Australia? - Well, that's why the English took so fucking long to take over and then just lost it. - Can you just show the images? - Yeah. - They're like, we can't hold this shit. - Look at that shit. - We can't hold this shit. - Yeah, can't hold any of this. Yeah, whatever. It's fucked. Look at that shit.

- How can you walk through that shit? - That couldn't be further from what Australia is. It's just fucking flat. - And the worst part is it's not even like it's one giant mountain. It's just constantly up and down. So you're like, oh, I think we're going the right way. We've climbed up four hills. And you're like, no, we're going the wrong way, fuck.

- Damn. - Yeah. - That sounds cool though, the orienteering thing. - Yeah, it makes me think about how many like life skills, because you know, sometimes I meet people that they don't know how to swim. - That's crazy. - Like my initial thought is like, how the fuck do you not know how to swim? And then I realized- - Maybe they lived in a landlocked area. - Yeah, I mean like, wait, I only know how to swim because it was specifically part of my school curriculum to teach us how to swim. - Oh, so wait, how old were you when you learned how to swim?

I can't remember, I was in like primary school. - I always know how to swim, I don't know. - What the fuck do you mean you always know how to swim? - I think I was born- - My mother, get the fuck out. - I have no memory. - I had a water bath. I was swimming in my mom's room. - I have no memory. - I had a water bath but the- - Wait, wait, wait. - I have no memory of learning how to swim. - Connor had a water bath but the bath

- My mom, I'll be fair, my mom is- - He had to swim to the surface like, "I will do it again, I will do it again." - He gets bored and his mom's just like, "All right, Chuck's here." - Hey, did you learn how to swim?

- I was like four or five, I think. - I was definitely younger than that. - I was probably about four or five as well. - Four or five is pretty young to learn how to swim. - No, because I think my mom, when I was like two, 'cause she used to go swimming all the time, she would throw me into the ocean. She would take me to the pool as well. - Yeah, we started off, I initially had eight brothers.

- We are the survivors. - The Spartans had it right. - The ocean took the rest. - Feed them, let them swim. If the water takes them, the water takes them. They weren't worthy. No, I think my mom used to take us when I was super, super young, like very, very young. - Right. - No, but like if you're that young, you can barely comprehend where the fuck you are, let alone like, oh, I am in water. If I don't move, I will die. - Maybe in Australia, maybe in Australia.

- So you have no recollection the first time you had to learn, get in water and be like, I have to float. - You didn't have that moment where like you would go to your local pool or wherever it was you learn how to swim and like you were so afraid to put your face in the water. - No, they kept asking me to stop doing that.

I would not stop going to the bottom of the pool. - Blood was trying to drown himself. At the age of two, he's like, "I'm done." He's just like half fish. - From the earliest memory I have until I was like 16, they would constantly tell me off 'cause all I would do is be like, they'd be like, "Go swim over here." I'd be like, "All right." And I would immediately go down to the bottom of the pool and then swim along the bottom of the pool to where they told me to go and come back up. And they were like, "Can you stop doing that?" I'm like- - What the fuck? - I was like, "Why? It's boring."

- That's crazy. - Did you not like going to the bottom of the pool? - No, I hated that. - That was like a magical place. - Oh, I hated that. - To me, that was like my happy place. - Bro, it took me like, I'd say it took me like six months to a year to actually finally like muster up the courage to put my face in the water. - Without goggles on. - Without goggles, oh my God. With goggles on, I was like, oh, okay, this is dicey. Without goggles on, I was like, just kill me now. - I always remember really liking like swimming. So I think I never, I don't think there was ever a point where I wasn't like going like this.

I think the moment they were like, they taught me how to swim. I was like, go in. - Man. - My mom is like, she's like a swimming maniac. So I think from a very, very, very young age. - I mean, like my grandma would take me to like the beach and stuff like that when I was like two or three years old. But like, you know, she'd never like,

throw me into the deep end and be like, come back. - I think she would just be like, here's how you swim. And then I think I was like, I will now proceed to go to the bottom. I was sure you're not curious. I think I was just curious. - I was curious, but it was the biggest barrier for me was just my eyes. I was like, if I didn't have goggles on- - You just tank it. - I, because the thing is- - You just go like, oh, oh, oh.

- Because I still can't open my eyes under the water. Because my eyes are so sensitive that like, even though for a little bit, my eyes just become, like I look like fucking Kaneki in Tokyo Ghoul. My eyes just become like, just all black and shit.

- It's the worst, I can't do it, yeah. - I think it was just the thing that you just have to get used to. - I guess so. - Just tank it. - I just didn't, I couldn't. - Just tank it. - I'm proud of myself that I even learned how to swim at all, to be honest. - I don't know if I would have learned how to swim if it wasn't on my curriculum. I had to have had like several classes. - Oh, my mom took me to like swimming school. - Normally people who can't swim, normally it's 'cause their parents can't swim and didn't teach them. I thought it was normal.

- I don't know. - It's either that or the fact that maybe the parents just like never thought it to be an important skill because maybe they're in a landlocked area. - I would feel like I would forget. That'd be saying my son would get to like seven, like fuck, I forgot how to teach him how to swim. I knew I was forgetting something.

- That's definitely something I would do. I taught him to shave at seven years old. Why did I do that? - Connor be the type of dad to be like, "All right, son, go play in the water." - Actually, that's my dad. - Oh shit. - That's my dad. My dad never taught me how to shave. - Yeah, me neither. - Oh, the moment I grew like a single hair on my face, my dad like comes in and is like,

- Let me cook, son. - Your dad loved it. He handed you a Pinot Noir and was like, "Drink this, shave this." - Yeah, drink that, shave that, cut yourself off. - I had to specifically go out of my way to ask my dad, "How do you shave?" Because there wasn't like this natural- - I used YouTube tutorials. - I didn't know how. 'Cause I thought, "Why does this shit hurt so much?" And I was like, "Oh, I don't have shaving cream." - Oh my God. - Yeah, I was hacking away at it. - Jesus. - But yeah. - Yeah, 'cause I was on in Sydney as well and I was like,

I was like, how do girls learn how to do makeup? 'Cause like similar to like, you know, dad, she teaching their sons how to shave. 'Cause you know, all the female audience can probably fill me in on this, but at least Sydney's experience was she was like YouTube tutorials as well. 'Cause I don't think her mom taught her how to do makeup. She was like self-taught. - Even if my mom was telling her, you're like, I don't know, but this person's got tell me and subs mom.

- Yeah. - She's talking about. - And she's, her eyebrows are on fleek, let me tell you that. - Yeah, and Sydney school didn't have a sex education either, which like to me is quite common in America. - Well, it's quite common in America. - Is it quite common in America? - More so now, I think. They're trying to get rid of, I mean, even in the UK, they're trying to get rid of some of it. - Wait, seriously? - What? - Yeah, well. - Really? - Yeah, I mean, I don't know. - Why? - Well, governments are getting more conservative in America and Europe. - Okay. - So they're like, "You can't teach our kids about condoms."

- We need babies now. - Well, yeah. - Yeah. - I generally more government to get them all. I know in America. - Some of my fondest memories is like that first sex education class that you went into. - Fondest memories? Wait, wait, wait.

- I told you guys about mine when I fainted. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you fainted. - I don't have fond memories. In fact, I have no memories. - My memory of, I think it was, when was it? It was like year five, year six. So we were like, what, 10, 11 years old, right? Like end of primary school. And I remember like we came to school and there was this teacher that no one had seen before. And we were like, okay,

what the fuck's happening? It's like some kind of event happening. And the teacher was like, okay, class, we're going to be doing a very important class today. And we really want you guys to listen because this will be one of the few times we'll ever teach you about this. And it's really important, especially when you become an adult. And we were like, all right, let's go for it.

The way the woman started it off was probably the worst way that she could have done it. - Who's got a cock? - Whippy dick out. - No, she was like, okay, class, get your index finger. - Oh no. - Get your index finger, put it inside your mouth. Now feel the inside of your cheek. And we were like, okay, what the fuck? So we started doing that. And she's like, do you feel that? And we were like, yeah. And she's like, that's what the inside of a vagina feels like.

and all the girls are like, "Oh!" All the guys are like, "Yeah!" - No, they were not. - For me, that was the biggest disparity of like, "Oh, I like video games too much." 'Cause when they were talking about the class and they were talking about all this stuff, I was like looking around like, "Who the fuck is doing this?"

I barely held a hand. What the fuck's going on? - Y'all just don't spawn in. - I remember them talking about like condoms and stuff. - What made you faint again? - So that was the moment when we faint. And then, you know what? I remember the other day, 'cause I was talking to Chris and someone else about it. They were like, "Why'd you get bullied in school?" I was like, "I don't know." And then I look back, I'm like, "Oh, 'cause I fainted in sex ed. "Never thought I was scared of penises."

So what happened was we were sitting on a table and they were talking. And so I have this aversion to like slime and grossness. Don't know why, always have. They were talking about, so vile. Please, you could skip ahead if you don't wanna hear this. They were talking about- - I mean, we've talked about it. - They were talking about discharge.

- Oh, that was- - And I'd never heard of that. And they were describing it and showing it on this like 80s educational video. They were like talking about sometimes a woman will get white goo that comes out of her vagina. And for some reason in my like kid head, I was like, that's the most terrifying thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. And then they had a video clip of like a girl looking at her pants. - Discharging. - Mom, I'm discharging. No, they shot a video clip of a woman showing like goo on her pants. And I was like,

And I fainted. Damn. And then slammed. And it was, I mean, it wouldn't have been that bad if I was in like a seat or something because I would have just fainted in my seat or slipped forward. But I fainted on the table, slammed my head on a concrete floor. Everyone screamed and ran. Yeah. And that became a big thing. And I couldn't see for about a day. I,

- I just remember the video that it has scarred me for life. This educational video that they got us to watch. - It's always the education one. - These 80s and 90s education videos are fucked. - Oh my God. Whoever was editing this educational video, they knew exactly what they were doing. So it was like this very boring presenter talking about childbirth, right? - I think I watched the same one. - Did you watch the same one? Wait, describe it because I have an exact same memory of a childbirth video. - Okay, okay.

- You know, he describes it in detail without showing it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But then he gets the rubber bands. Did you go? - Yes. - Oh my God. - I don't know this video. - Oh my God. - We watched the same video. - I think I've seen this one too. - Did we all watch the same one? - Probably, it's probably the one. - It's probably like the one, yeah. - Okay, 'cause I remember him talking about childbirth and he was like, "Then when the baby goes out, the vagina does this."

And then I remember the entire class going, "Oh, it's smash cuts to a baby." - That scarred me for life. - It was almost like it was a frame perfect cut of the guy's hand doing this and then a smash cuts to a baby's head coming out of the woman.

- I have no memory of this. - Oh my God, it must be the same video. 'Cause I have that image of the baby's head sticking out, just ingrained into my memory. - I have no idea, I have no idea what this is. - It was terrifying. It was scarier than any horror movie I've ever seen in my life. - Oh, were you checking to see if that's what made me faint? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That would be funny. - That is like scarred in my memory. I will always just remember that.

that image of like the hand doing this and then that's just like the crowning of the baby. I'm just like, oh my God. I never want to have children ever. This looks horrible. - Jesus Christ. - Yeah. - How the fuck do we even get on this topic? - I don't know. We were talking about school, peaking in high school. - We're talking about peaking in high school. - Did you ever win any of your sports day events?

- Again, only the long jump and high jump events. - Did you go like compete in like nationals like they do in the anime? - Nah, I never got, I did compete, when I was doing tennis, I competed at a state level one year. - Oh nice, nice. - Yeah, I got fucking destroyed. - Yeah, me too, when I competed at state level. - Yeah, I was like the best in my class and I was like, I am the shit. I am the next Roger Federer. Go to the state championship, get smashed match one. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna go. Yeah.

- And that was, I think that was probably the last time I actually did like a proper like sport, like continuous sport. 'Cause then after that I went to, 'cause I was like what? Eighth grade, ninth grade. So I was like 14, 15. And then after that I was just like, yeah, I don't really want to do tennis anymore. I just want to like focus on doing music. And then, yeah, I think that was the last time I did sport.

- Oh, fuck yeah. - Yeah, because I feel that's the same with like a lot of people, right? Like if you're not doing sport in high school, like if you're not in like your sports, like rugby team or like your soccer team or whatever it might be, it's really difficult to motivate yourself to continue to do that sport, I feel. - Well, it's because you don't have time. - Yeah. - You don't have time. - You go to uni and you're like, well, I'm just,

- Also, if you have a lot of experience growing up with sport, you're probably less intimidated by the idea of starting a new sport or getting into it. I think it's 'cause you know what to expect, you know you're gonna be shit, you know you're gonna feel good or whatever. You know the full range of what to expect. - Is there a sport you guys would want to start at your age now, currently? If you had to pick one sport to start today, it could be one you've done before, it could be a completely new one. Not including gym.

- Well, there was always loads of sports that I wanted to do that were just too like circumstantial or expensive. - Yeah. - I wanna do, water sports always seems like a lot of fun. - So while like- - I would have loved to done the skiing with the gun.

- What? - You know in the Olympics when they do cross country skiing and then shoot? See that would have been fucking sick, but I'm from a place where you can't fucking do that. - Yeah, how do you begin that? - Just live in Norway. - There are some things or some sports where I'm just like, how do people get into this? - You have to be around the right people growing up pretty much. That's how a lot of like, you know, certain sports, you know, you have to kind of be born into it slightly really. - Yeah, like I feel that way about when I see like F1 drivers.

How do you start that? - That's so true. - At what point in your life are you like, "Mother, father, I would love to drive a car 400 kilometers an hour." - You can definitely get into it if you have no background or anything like that, I imagine. But obviously it's way easier

your dad happened to race cars in his spare time. Or maybe he owns a, he helps, he works at a sports track. - Unless you're like that kid in "Gran Turismo", right? Just like win a competition. - Yeah, well, I mean, that's like a once in a lifetime, right? But like a lot of these are like, you have to have some kind of connection that allows you to get into it easily. Like motocross, how do you get into that? Like when I went to the UK,

Years ago, I had a friend in uni who did it. And I asked him how he got into it. He was like, I just live on a farm and I had a bike and all my mates had bikes. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you just have to spawn in the right biome.

- I don't know anyone who did that. No one near me had it. Like, I don't know where the fuck you were doing this. - Me neither. - 'Cause I'm sure fucking 15 year old me would have gone crazy on that motorcycle. I would have wrist it all for a flip. - Yeah, I would not have. - Probably have severe brain damage, but would have looked cool. - Yeah, I see. The moment where I realize I am definitely not like an adrenaline junkie in any way when it comes to sport is when I- - Well, you hate theme parks. - Huh? - You hate theme parks. - Well, I hate theme parks for one, but also when I used to skateboard,

I was never that kid that was like, I'm gonna learn that next new trick. For me it was like, I just wanna learn how to ride, learn how to turn, learn how to stop. That's all I wanna do. The best I could do was like, I landed a kick flip once. - I couldn't even do that. But like, you know, seeing, like going from that to like, you know, seeing the video, have you seen the videos of like the long boards where they're literally going like 50 yards and they're like doing like prancing on it and shit? Like I see that and-

it blows my mind, right? Because not only because like how impressive it is, because of how dangerous it is, how many times do you need to fuck up

in your life to be able to get that good. And you know, how much hurts have you gone through to be able to get that good and still have no fear to be able to do that? - Oh no, I think like people who can do that have probably- - Something wrong with their brain. - Yeah. - It's that and also- - You have to, you have to. - It's that and also a little bit of like, yeah, like self-discipline as well. Like the fact that someone can,

go on a skateboard at really fast pace, fucking land face first on the concrete, right? And then pick themselves up and go, let me try that again is just insane to me. Like I can't, if I felt like that even once, I'd be like, I'm never touching this thing ever again. - I think that's what makes people so fucking cool in a sense that we could just like,

that part of our brain that's like, this is dumb. - Yeah, you could die. - You die now. - Like every animal, like an animal would run away if it's in danger. Humans are like, I will now die. - Humans are like, well, I'm not dead yet. - It's so weird. - I can keep going, baby. I can keep going. - The survival urge we can turn off at will. It's just weird. - It's wild, man. - I have no interest in dying.

- But I mean, I'd say out of the three of us, you are the biggest like, fuck it, I'm gonna do it. - I mean, like I like adrenaline stuff, but I don't like, like for me, there's a very clear distinction between like skateboarding and like bungee jumping or jumping out of a plane. - You like the momentary. - It's momentary, but also like, I know I'm gonna hurt myself a bunch on the skateboard until I get it right. I know I'm gonna fall a bunch.

- The bungee jump, if that cord snaps, I'm dead. - Yeah. - That's one and done. - So you're the kind of person where it's- - I'm not gonna be like beat up while doing it. If it all goes right, I won't be hurt. - Well, you'll be dead. - Yeah, we dead. But like skateboarding, skateboarding is just like, you're just perpetually beaten the fuck up. - So you like the type of adrenaline- - I don't really enjoy that. - Yeah, you're the type of adrenaline junkie where it's, if you die, it's a quick-

- You just wanna die immediately. - Well, I just wanna be hurt. Like, I don't wanna be like, you know, I would, you know when you hear like these horrible accidents where like someone has a parachute doesn't open up and then they're like, they get turned into like vegetables or something, their brain gets like fucked up so bad from whatever. It's like, I'd rather just die. - Yeah. - I'd be like, that's, you know, just rather not have to deal with the medical bills.

- You're not American. - That joke doesn't pass. - It doesn't work. - Japan, I'd pretty die there 'cause the ambulance would be like politely moving through traffic. Have you noticed that? Why do the ambulance not rush here? They drive at a normal speed through traffic but they make everyone part and then they go 30 miles an hour. You're like, what the fuck are you doing? Someone's dying. Your sirens are on, go faster.

- Well maybe- - Knowing that that could be you. - Well maybe- - You could be like waiting, dying, and it's just the ambulance like, "See my thing?" - Oh no, what stresses me out is seeing an ambulance in Thailand and you're on like the fucking highway, it is gridlocked.

- I'd be like, carry me, bro, carry me. We got better odds here, come on, call the Uber. - Just play coffin dance right now. - And then you see an ambulance come in and it's just like got a sirens on and people are trying to get out of its way. The problem is- - You just can't. - There is no space to get.

Every lane is taken. - I think you just get some cable ties and put me onto a bike and hope for the best, right? - Or again, just like get the EMTs to just like carry you and just fucking, like in between the cars. - They must double up. - They'd probably be faster. - They double up in the ambulance in Thailand. They're like, we have a funeral service flyer.

- You're not making, if we don't help you, the paramedics, you're done. - Yeah, we're done. We'll carry you. - It depends on the time of day. It's rush hour, okay, we came with a coffin actually. - Yeah, you were. Like the outside transforms, like transformers to like a blanket, like all the paint changes. - We're going from the hospital to the funeral director right now. - Yeah, the ENT guys like changing the suits. - They're like quick, turn the ambulance siren down 400%. He goes, instead of going wee, he goes wee.

- You and I, dad. - Damn. - Yeah, we would rather just die. - Have you ever like actually been in an ambulance before? - Never. - Never. - Never? Yeah, me neither. I've only ever been in an ambulance when someone else got hurt. - Hoping I don't get that either. - Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping, I mean, none of us has broken a bone yet. - I'm shocked you've never broken a bone. - I've sprained stuff.

- Yeah, what's the worst injury you've ever had in your life? I think we have, we talked about this before. - We talked about this. - We have, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I've had some bad tumbles, but somehow never broken. Maybe 'cause I just drink too much milk. Calcium 2-OP. - My bones are like my ass. - Ever had a near death experience? - Probably. Do you ever think like- - So light about it. - Do you ever think of like how many near death experiences you've had and not realized it?

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Have you ever thought about that? - Yeah, yeah. - You know when like, have you had a, you've been driving in a car, like comes way too close to you. You've been in the car while the car's just way too fucking close. - Yeah, yeah. - And you're like, that dude was not paying attention. But you're like, oh, okay. - Yeah, but I mean, I was alive. - I actually, I was in the taxi, right? The taxi driver, for some reason, there was a sidewalk, but the guy in Japan, like middle of the night, he was walking in the road.

like middle of the lane in the road. It's a three lane, three lane road. So one, two, three, all traffic go in the same direction. Japanese guy near the sidewalk. He was in the middle of the lane, not near the, like even the, like the barrier in the middle of it. And we were at a red light and this guy, the taxi driver is flashing his lights like straight forward. And I'm like, there's no way this guy can't see him. So I didn't say anything. Cause I was like, there's literally a guy walking in the middle of the road.

So the taxi driver starts going and I'm like, oh shit, he doesn't see it. So I...

they just start shouting non-verbal noises. He's just going straight. Taxi driver fucking quickly swerves into the next lane. Luckily there's no other car in that lane. Fucking throws it back, brakes really fine. And like I was sitting there like either that guy would have died or we or someone else would have died from crashing into a car if...

if there was no other car that was super lucky. - Let me ask, how old was this taxi driver? - Oh, like 80. All of them are. It's terrifying, dude. I get in some of these taxis sometimes, some of them I'm like, I don't think,

- You should not be behind the wheel. - Well, 'cause I asked them like, "Hey, my address is this." And then they're like, they can't even like touch the touchscreen. And I'm like, "Ah, I just feel like you should be retired." - It's like, "I'm gonna go walk." - It's just like, not on you. Like, I feel bad that you have to do, or maybe you wanna do this job. I don't know, but you should be relaxing and enjoying your retirement. You shouldn't have to be 80 something years old in a taxi. - Totally. - Yeah. - I feel bad, but also it's terrifying sometimes. And you're like, "I just, yeah."

- It's a phenomenon only found in Japan, I think. - Totally. You either die a villain or you live long enough to see yourself become a character. - Yeah, this is why when people are like, "Man, what's the..."

how is Japan dealing with the ever aging crisis? It's gonna be so interesting how they're dealing with it. I'm like, bitch, they're dealing with it. They make them work somehow. I don't know how the hell they convince them. - You either become a taxi driver or you become one of those dudes at every construction site that holds the sign or guides people to go in a certain direction. - Don't get me wrong, I think I'd always wanna do something. I think I'd always wanna be doing some kind of work. - Oh, no, for sure. - Even when I'm older, but I like,

- But it doesn't have to be physical. - Yeah, I feel that like there's gotta be a better job. Maybe it's nice driving. I don't know, man. - I don't know, you like driving. - I like driving, but I don't think I'd like driving. - I've met so many Uber drivers who are just like, yeah, this is just my hobby. I just like driving people.

- Especially in like America. I've met a lot of taxi drivers in America that, you know, they do Uber just not even like, cause they need to, it's just like a hobby. - Yeah, it's just extra change. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just cause like, yeah, I have a successful business, but just didn't know what else to do with my time and I love driving and this is what I'm gonna do. - I mean, dude, my dad, I remember like early this year, he finally retired officially and I was like, "Dad, what are you gonna do for your retirement?" And he was like,

I was thinking about driving a bus. And I was like, what?

It's like, that's not retirement. That's just changing jobs. And he's like, yeah, but I want to do something. And I'm like, and your decision is to drive a fucking bus? It's like, why? And he's like, well, I like driving and you know, the bus seems challenging and fun. And then when I met up with him last month, I was like, you still gonna drive that bus? And he's like, no. - I've heard too many horror stories about bus drivers. - You're 65. Realistically now it's gonna be 75 when we retire.

when we retire. - Yeah, probably. - People our age. You're 75. - Yeah. - You get to pick one job to retire in. What are you doing? You can be anything. It doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense monetarily or financially. What's the one job you do? - Author. - Okay. - Yeah. - Shit. - You can be an author? - Yeah. Why not? - What are you writing about?

- I mean, I've had 75 years of my life to live. Like I can write about my experiences. I can write about anything that I feel like, you know, like at this point, like I feel even nowadays, like anyone can write a book about anything and people will read it, right? So, and it's- - People are so fucking dumb now. They can't read anything. - People are dumb. If people are deaf, Chris can be a Sunday Tongue- - True, true, true. - Yeah, I can do it, right?

- It's fucking easy, whatever. - Yeah, but like, I think a job like that is good because it's not physically taxing, right? So it'll be a lot easier on me. And also it's, I feel like I would want to do the kind of jobs that use my brain to make sure that my brain is staying active and like, I don't, you know, become like, oh, where am I kind of all those. - Garnt, what about you? - I don't know, farmer.

- Fuck no, you don't know what farm. - Fuck no, you will not. You can't even be a farmer now. - You are not physically able to farm right now. - Not like a fucking, you know, like a- - What do you think farmers do? - Just, you know- - Do you think they just wake up and be like, "Oh, that's a nice farm anyway." - "That's a nice modest farm for once." - "I'm gonna go feed the chickens and then lie down for the afternoon." Like, they don't do that.

- Yeah, they do. - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. - I think like if you were like farming for just your own- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically just like, you know, kind of like the country though. - Like for your own food, yeah. - I thought we were talking about retirement here. - No, no, no, no, no. - I would do that. - That's retiring. I'm talking about what is the job that you would do if you could retire, if you had to have a job while being retired. - I would probably do the farming too while I'm being the author.

- Oh, if I could have any job. - Yeah, I'll tell you mine. I'll tell you mine. - Okay, okay. - Mine, I would love to just open a coffee shop and just absolutely bleed money. Don't even care if it makes money. - Actually, yeah. That is one thing I have been wanting to do in my retirement is open up a record store. - Yeah, just something that I don't like, hopefully like I- - I don't care if I make money off of it. - Yeah, the idea is hopefully that I've bought the land

with the building that it's in. So I have to pay rent and I can just like fucking be like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. - I just want one of those things where it's like the first floor is the store and then the second floor is where you live kind of situation. So it's like, I just wake up, I go downstairs, I'm in my store. - I just love the idea of getting the most like banging coffee in the morning and just chatting with people. Just being that, I wanna be that old guy who just talks to everyone. - It's like back in my day. - And then I wanna say outrageous stuff and then have everyone just think like, ah, he's old.

- Just say the wildest things. - I'm not gonna say what my doctor was. - Don't ask about my taxes in 2024. We don't talk about it. - I can just imagine you like just recounting like old memes and stuff like that. And you're always like, I'm not gonna say what my doctor was.

he was a Jewish doctor. - I will not be saying that, Joey. - He's not going to turn into Kanye. - This old man's crazy, but this coffee's so good. - I am not turning into Kanye. What the fuck, Joey? - Why? You're old, who cares? - No.

- I mean, I would love to just open, maybe not a coffee shop, but just like a random store. - I'm addicted to coffee. - Yeah, you are addicted to coffee. - I've already projected my life as gonna be a coffee shop. - Yeah, see, coffee shop makes sense, record store makes sense. What store would you open in your retirement? - We're just opening stores now. - Yeah, just, you know, something that you can do while also being able to bleed money and not have to worry about, oh, can I make it? - Did you see that video of that guy in New York who just like sells pigeons or some shit? - What?

- It's like the most random thing in the world. - Like a pet store? - I can't remember if he sells pigeons, but it's like a business to do with- - Wait, hold on, pause. Oh, okay, I was about to say, are they alive pigeons or is it like pigeon meat? - No, no, no, alive pigeons. - Oh, okay. - Can you switch this up like New York store pigeons or something? - Every time I see a video of New York, I just think that New York is some kind of like, it feels like some kind of computer generating

- It's like a GTA city. - It doesn't feel real. It feels like a testing ground for everything in humanity. - It's a pigeon store. He just sells pigeons. - Well, people need pigeons. I presume it's a pigeon store. - Do people need pigeons in fucking New York of all places? - You know there's competitive pigeon racing, right? - Yeah, I know that. - Yeah, there's like people race pigeons competitively

- Also people also- - And like, I think, yeah, pigeons go for, like horses, they go for so much money because getting the fastest pigeon breed is really expensive. - Also a lot of people have started to own pigeons as pets as well. - Okay, wow. - They're like, "I'm sick of like budgerigars in my parents." - I don't want a pet that shit that can cause cancer. - I want to get on this level of niche where it's just like- - Play the video.

where it's like a store where you just sell something. Just the most outlandish thing. - What do you wanna sell? - Toenails.

- All right, play the video. - I wanna sell lizards. - Why not? - You just want a pet store. - Maybe I do want a pet store. Actually, pet store actually sounds lit. - Okay, okay, open it up. - You know what? I wanna open a pet store. That's what I wanna do. - Yeah, pet store sounds fun. - Pet store sounds like a fuck ton of work. You gotta clean so much. - Yeah, but you'll be retired by then. You can hire people to do that, right? - Oh no, fuck no. - You can just be the owner of the pet store. - Maybe just a bird store.

- I've kind of been obsessed with the idea of getting birds now. Every time there's like a pet store right outside our place and there's like, every time they have like new birds. - I think even though your house is like no pets, a bird's pretty chill. You can just easily get a bird, right? - Probably. - It's just in a cage, right? - I mean, unless you get a bird that makes a lot of noise. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah, but you live in a house, so you're chill. - Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've been playing, but you know, right now I travel a lot. - Pirates would be fucking sick just having someone mimic you.

- That'd be so sick. - I mean, our parrot does that. - Yeah, that'd be cool. - Yeah. - You guys think you have self-preservation? - Yeah, I think so. - What do you mean by that? - The ability to keep yourself alive. - 'Cause like, have you ever had a moment where, you know, something bad could happen, right?

when does that moment happen? When the moment happens, do you feel like a switch in your brain to be like, oh, I'm just living my daily life to like, oh shit, something serious is actually happening. - Yeah, I think one thing that I've been very grateful for is that I don't really ever panic. Even in like very stressful situations and I'm around people that are freaking out. I'm like, all right, let's figure out what we can do.

- That's your logical brain coming in, yeah. - I mean, you know, being around people who stress a lot, you're like, oh my God. - Yeah. - You don't get tired of being fucking panicking all the time? - Yeah. - Chill the fuck out, bro. - I mean, I'm kind of like that too, but at the same time I catch myself to be like, maybe I should be panicking a little more. - Like, okay, let's say for example, you know, you feel an earthquake.

At which point in your brain, okay, maybe you're in bed or something like that, right? Earthquake happens, start shaking a bit. At which point do you like switch off from just like, oh, there's just like a little shake to like, what is the moment when you actually

that would actually get you out of bed to be like, "Honey, get under the fucking bed frame right now." - For me it would be if the earthquake throws me out of bed. That's your line? - I don't know if I'm too logical, but I live in an apartment building and if anything falls on my head, I think it's like Donzo. I think the apartment's gonna collapse completely. - Oh yeah, that's true. - And maybe I'd have a chance to live through the rubble though if I went in the doorframe, but like very minute still.

But at that point I'm like a Rick and Morty fan. I'm like, the odds of me surviving this are so low. Please just take my life. - So your logical brain is just like, I'm gonna die anyway. So whatever, right? Let's just hit the snooze button.

- Well, apparently there was an earthquake the other night. - Yeah. - At night time. I don't think my phone went off. My phone hasn't gone off for any of these earthquakes. - No, me neither. - I'm kind of worried. - Me neither. - My phone went off. - Why does my phone not go off? - Mine hasn't, there's been so many earthquakes this year. Just like just within this year. - How does that work?

- I don't know. - I feel like this is something that we should know about. - Yeah. - Hey guys, my natural disaster stuff doesn't work. Anyone else? - 'Cause I remember a few years ago, maybe even like just as early as last year, I would get woken up to these alarms. You know, the ones that are just like, like the most traumatic sound you'll ever hear in the middle of the night. And I'm like, oh fuck, here comes the earthquake. And it's like,

like fucking nothing. And I was like, was that it? - The problem with that alarm now is I heard it the other day when I was just like, we were sleeping. It was like early, early in the morning. But because I've heard it so much now, it's just conditioned me. It's like the boy who cried wolf. You hear this alarm and you're like,

- It's gonna be fine. - It's gonna be fine. All it takes is that one fucking major earthquake to really fuck you up. - Yeah, I didn't mean it, we weren't here for the 2011. So I'm sure if we were here for the 2011, it might traumatize us a bit more. - Yeah. - So I always think, has there ever been a moment when something has switched my brain to be like, oh shit,

I need to like get into like self-preservation mode or am I like, have you seen like the Belarus like explosion? Where like you see the explosion and half the people are just like by the window. - Oh, you mean the one in Lebanon? - Oh, sorry, is it a Lebanon? - The nitrogen explosion? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Beirut. - Oh. - Beirut, that's it. - Okay, Beirut. - No, yeah, I have seen that one, yeah. - Would you think you are that guy who was like ducking under the cover or are you that guy that's just like.

like this big explosion. - I'm sure. - Standing on the window. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm sure like, you know, we've all seen explosions. I'm sure people just couldn't,

comprehend how big that explosion was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So like, and also you see it and then you don't hear it. You see the shockwave hits you before you hear it, right? So I can understand why people would kind of be dumb and not realize that, hey, maybe just get behind cover and put your phone up there instead. - Yeah. - Just have a look, you know? - Yeah, totally. - No, because like- - My apartment is done, sir, if there's a big earthquake, by the way, 'cause I've got so much shit that is shoddily stacked on top of itself. - Oh, same.

- It's GG. If there's a big earthquake, my apartment is fucked. - I mean, we've tried to like earthquake proof our apartment as much as possible, but everywhere except my room, which has the most stuff in it. - Oh, me too, me too. It's GG. - The rest of my house might be fine, my room is GG. - What would be the thing that kills you, you think? In your room? - In my room? - All my fingers would fall over. - I mean, I have like, I have a,

pretty much on every single wall I have like some kind of thing hanging on it. I have a giant figurine shelf that's like- - I swear to God, if it's guts that kills you, that would be like- - Oh my God. - The gut statue. - My giant gut statue just like, the sword just comes down on me. - This is like a scene from "Final Destination." Joey's in an earthquake, he falls over, then the gut statue just like slices me.

- Probably will, honestly, that thing's massive. - Oh my God. - Yeah, probably. - Yeah, something's gonna fall on me, like a shelf or something might fall on me. Or like, honestly, with the amount of like heavy stuff that I have in there, more likely than not, it's not something falling on me, it's me falling through the floor. - When is the mega quake predicted? - I don't know. - Can you Google it? When's the mega quake? They've been predicting a, 'cause obviously the plates don't like slide up on each other. - Yeah, yeah.

- 30% in the next 10 years, 70, 80% in the next 30 years and around 90% within the next 40 years. - Terrifying. - Yeah, so that's in our lifetime. We're gonna feel that. But they've also said the same thing about Mount Fuji erupting as well. Apparently they said, I think like 10, 20 years ago it was supposed to erupt and it still hasn't yet. - Should power just over if it erupts? - No, because the last time it erupted I think was during the Edo period.

And that- - Let's put some water on it. - There's an ocean right there. Yeah, 1707 was the last time it erupted. - I wonder how violent it erupted. - I actually don't know. - Was it just like a little fart? Like a little- - It erupted. - What happened when the one in Iceland

and the ash stopped like planes. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was insane. - Does it say how many, the damage, especially the deaths from the disasters, plus the tsunami is hard to untangle. Oh yeah, 'cause it caused a tsunami as well. Yeah. - Oh my. - Well at least maybe the tsunami would help put it out a little bit. - Okay, the estimated 8.6 magnitude earthquake likely triggered. - It's not a fucking house fire, Connor. It's just.

- Get the hose! - God's like, "All right, don't worry. I'm gonna put out this fire." - It does feel cruel that like with a major earthquake, you also get a tsunami. It just feels like so unfair. It's like, "Hey, I know you guys might've just survived that. Here is a giant fuck ton of water." - Yeah, yeah. Okay, so it says the earthquake triggered the eruption. So there is a chance that this big earthquake, this Nankai earthquake that is predicted to happen might be the thing that sets it off.

In which case, I don't know, man, we might be fucked. - We're always so fucked. - I mean, Tokyo is gonna be fucked from the eruption, 100%. - Yeah. - Because like if the, I mean the lava flow will be fine, but the ash is going to- - What's the Japanese plan? What's the plan of action when Fuji erupts? - Man, I fucking know. They haven't had to think about this for 300 years. - Maybe they build like a Mario Kart-esque track, right? And divert all of the lava into the ocean.

- They get up on, they stack a bunch of obsidian. - Isn't that the plot to volcano? - Is it really? - I think so. - Well, it seems like a simple plan. - Like the moment they hear the eruption, the government's like, "All right, play the song." - Everyone starts putting obsidian trails down to like lead the lava into the water.

- Everyone goes like creative Minecraft mode. - If they could find a way to unify train otakus to do stuff in Japan, this country's unstoppable. That's why the economy is to go into shit 'cause they haven't found a way to harness train otakus. - Or just any otakus. - Mainly train otakus. 'Cause otakus don't wanna leave the house, but train otakus, they travel the globe for that.

And if you get in their way, they will wish death upon you and your entire family. - I remember I played that arcade game, the one with the train simulator once. - Oh yeah. - I played for about five minutes, came out and there was like four dudes in conductors outfits, angrily waiting for me to be done. I was like, ooh. - Dude, that game is unironically fire. - Which one is this? - So in some arcades, there's a booth and it's just a train conducting booth.

and you just pretend to be a train conductor. - It's just train simulator? - Oh yeah, there's no points, there's nothing. - No, no, no, there's one with the points, but it's really hard. - I did the one that was like no points. It was like a normal thing. - Oh, okay. I played the one where it's like, you go into like a small little room and there's like three screens surrounding you. Yeah, yeah, the one on the left there. - Wait, is there points in this? - Yeah, there's points in it. - Oh, I definitely did this one. And I remember thinking it was cool. And then I felt embarrassed because these guys look like really like,

- Come the fuck on, you casual. - Yeah, it's really like finicky and it's really accurate to how the actual trains run in Japan. - Oh, I crashed it immediately. - Yeah, because what you have to do is like, you start off at a station. - That's why they were angry. - Yeah, you have to start off at the station and you have to basically go from station to station like a train conductor. But it's really difficult because not only do you have to get to the station perfectly on time, but you also have to control how fast you leave the station, like the acceleration and how slow you have to decelerate. And it's so sensitive.

- Do you think train otakus want to be train conductors? If they're going through this many hoops to play like a train simulator, why not just,

- Do your passion, do your passion, right? Maybe it's not as easy. - You know, in Japan, following your passion has never been an easy thing to do. And once you're normally in a job, you're normally locked in for life. So I think that was just like, I don't know. - They're like, this is the only way they can achieve their goals. - Yeah, Japanese people are good at coping. They're good at like professional coping. They're like, well, I wanna be a train conductor, so I'll just do it in my spare time and work a full-time job in a video game. - Yeah, no, legit.

- Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's no sure. I mean, I don't know what the train industry is like in Japan, but you know, every- - Good. - Everyone needs train conductors. There are a lot of trains running. - I don't know, hard to say, man. Like I feel, would there even be like job applications open? Like how do you go and find a job? - How do you get into train conducting? - Yeah, there you go. - What is the career path? - Can you Google how do you become a train conductor in Japan?

- Just curious, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah, but there is a part of me that's like, I kinda wanna try it out. - Seems pretty- - Did you see the guy? I saw an article the other day on some Japanese thing where the driver of a train got suspended or lost his job because he had like a tab of anime open on his like dashboard.

- Was it Rail Wars? - Well, yeah. And like one of the customers snitched. - What the fuck? - I was like, bro, bro's just going, dude, dude, let him watch some anime on the side, bro. I'm sure with that. - They were like, yeah, I saw him watching Sword Art Online. I can't believe the fuck.

Let's see, in order to become a shinkansen driver, you must have worked two years as a station attendant, two years as a conductor and two years as a 1,067 millimeter gauge train driver. What's the fucking difference?

- Shinkansen drivers must take a national examination. Okay, so you need a license for it, obviously. Shinkansen drivers must not wear white socks. - What? - Wait, why not? - What? - Wait, why? - And most people hired are between 23 to 27 years of age. - Train drivers need to have Japanese citizenship. - All right. - That makes sense, but- - Why the socks? - How much does Shinkansen drivers get paid in Japan? - That's the weirdest job, like,

- That's the worst job specification I've ever heard in my life. - Yeah, right? - What happens if you turn up in the job interview with white socks? They're like, it's like, get out. You failed. - You failed. - They make 75K a year. - That's how outdated this article is. This is about 75,000 USD. - It's not. It is not that anymore. I wish we had that ratio. - Yeah, yikes. - That sounds like, you know, not to like besmirch it at all,

for the amount of experience in exams you had to do, $50,000, it's not a whole lot. - No. - Not really. - I feel like if that was a position in Europe or America, you'd definitely be getting double that.

- Well, because the amount of time as well, you probably have to just sink into not only doing the license, but then again, it's like, I think it's a total of six years. You have to be like conducting a regular train. - Yeah. - It's like kind of fucking crazy. - That's a lot. - It's a lot. - Come on JR, pay your shinkansen drivers better. - Did you hear about that? There's also like a court case where JR was, they were, I think,

they were docking the driver's pay by like 100 yen because he was like one minute late. So they took off a hundred yen 'cause it was like the equivalent of what like a minute of his time was worth. - Yeah. - Right. - And he went to court. He was like, this is bullshit. - For a hundred yen? - I think it was more about the message that was like, you can't take away my pay. - Yeah, because I'm one minute late. - And I think he won. - Well, yeah, rightfully so. It's one minute. - Yeah, I think maybe like,

- Yeah, it's just, isn't that insane that like, can you, when was the last time you could do that in like America or Europe where you could take away pay? - God knows. - It must be against a lot of labor laws. - Oh yeah, I'm sure.

That's what I would imagine in a lot of other countries. I'm not sure what the label laws are. - I mean, look, don't get me wrong. - It takes money off for being one minute late. - Yeah. - Type that in. - I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the fact that, you know, the trains in Japan are so sensitive when it comes to like what time they leave, what time they take off, all that kind of stuff. Love it. You know, not taking that for granted, but.

"Man, one minute, it ain't any skin off my back, man." - And you know they ain't got any policy for overtime work as well. - No, hell no. - These types of companies, you know. - I do like how on time it is.

- I mean, yeah. - It is great. - Yeah, it's working. - Coming from England, you know, it works. - Well, that's the thing, right? It's like, I'm comparing it to Australia where it's like 30 minutes late and the conductor's like, "Oh, sorry, mate." It's like, doesn't even feel bad about it at all. - I think rail is obviously very well funded in Japan in general. So it's, you know, it's a hard comparison to make 'cause- - Oh, of course. - I think there's a lot of money and also a lot of money is made 'cause people ride them a lot. But I guess it's tough. - It is. - Yeah, here it is. - What is this?

- Two drivers who had to pay- - Train driver who had his pay cut for being one minute late is awarded 45 cents after he died. - Wait, this is even more fucked up. - What is that article? - Wait, what? A Japanese court has ordered the 59 year old driver's employer to pay back wages that have been docked for the lateness. - After he died? - After he died.

- What? After he died of an illness? - This is an Onion article, I swear to fucking God. There is absolutely, what? - Oh my God, I need to make a video on this. - This is insane. - He was supposed to drive an empty train, empty train, but he accidentally went to the wrong platform and started driving the train one minute later than scheduled. One minute later. That is kind of unhinged. I think like I can understand if you're five minutes late and they're not happy 'cause given how important it is,

- One is- - One minute. - One is not noticeable. - People don't, yeah, people don't notice one minute. - People don't notice one minute. It takes one minute to get, like the doors fucking closed on a platform. - Like most watches are one minute off. - Yeah. - You know, like no one's gonna notice. - That seems excessive to dock for one minute. - And the fact that they were like, they turned around and was like, "Man's dead, we'll give him back his money."

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, "Here's your pay." - "Here's 45 cents, fam." - This is like satire, I swear to God. - This can't be real, bro. - "Man died, here's your 45 cents." - No way. - Actually, our bad. - Yeah, oh, it's in- - If it wasn't Vice News, I would be convinced this was an onion. - Yeah, it was in Okayama. - Oh my God. - Yeah, the West Japan Railway to return the 45 cents in reduced pay to the driver. - Holy shit. - What do they say? Scroll down a little bit.

- Mikawa said that though being a minute late doesn't seem like a big deal, enforcing punctuality with such strictness was a way for trading companies to control their employees. It's a way to constantly watch your employees and if they make a mistake, they'd carry out pretty severe punishments like pay cuts or layoffs.

- You can make you write reports saying you'll never make the mistake again. - What the fuck? Is this like primary school? Like writing a letter to your teacher? - Actually, I read something else as well that apparently, can you Google if this is true? I think if sometimes if they were late and I think they've been, I think they are changing this now, but they used to make train conductors who were late do clean toilets.

- Really? - Yeah, if they were late. - Like in the bullet trains and stuff. - Yeah, so bullet trains, but normal trains, 'cause you know Japan had a really bad horrific train accident, 'cause a guy was going too fast into a corner. - Yes, yes, yes. - That was like 10 years ago or 10 years ago. - It derailed, right? - Yeah. - He derailed the train, and there was obviously a lot of people were like, "How does this happen?" When they started looking into it, they realized,

holy shit, if they're late even one minute, the penalties are so severe. They were forced to take risks, aka speeding up when they shouldn't have been. But there shouldn't be a case where like, you have to speed up to make this deadline and risk the tons of lives. And so then I think there's a lot of scrutiny and then some things were forced to change, but obviously not everything changed. Yeah, this article was from 2011 where-

- JR West has- - Clean toilets and cut weeds as punishment for train delays and other lapses. - Oh damn, man. - But I think when, I don't think they still do it now, hopefully. - I hope not, I hope. - Isn't that crazy? Joey, you're one minute late. Go and clean the toilet, you piece of shit. - If you had said that at this office, I would quit. - I would quit. - I would complain. I'm gonna be on toilet duty. - Bro, you would, bro, you can't,

- You'd be perpetually in the toilet. - Yeah, if we actually enforced that in this office, Garnt would be cleaning this place so much. This office would be spotless. - Our fucking office would be like, our recording session would be half me taking a shit and then the next half would be like me cleaning the shit that I just took.

- And then we'd have a five minute recording session. - Oh my God. - Yeah, I hope they don't enforce this anymore 'cause that is absolutely immoral. - Yeah, I mean, mentalities are very different. I feel like at least in Western, we've gone a lot in the opposite direction where we're like, you know. - We'll be too lax. - But too lax, but then like any kind of then,

punishment of any kind seems too much. - Right, right. - We're not used to it. - Yeah, true, true. - Well, you go to London and it's just like nine times out of 10, there's gonna be a strike going on. - But then it's like, you also shouldn't like,

- First of all, you should never have to punish workers. You should never need to ever do that. - No. - But also there's just people- - Just a little spanking. - Just a little- - Just a little spanking. - Just a little slap on the head. - People aren't getting paid enough and they're overworked. So it's like, who are you to blame? If anyone of these fucking rich assholes who make all the rules and don't give any of the money to the services that we need, they should be getting spanked and made clean toilets every time they fucking decide to cut budget and send money to shit that doesn't matter or-

funnel money into other tax loopholes for dumb shit rich people. Fucking annoying, man. - Welcome to the world. - Yeah, world's a cruel place, man. - Capitalism. - Yeah, it's fucking annoying. - That's how it all ends. Capitalism. - It always ends in that.

- People in Japan, they'll hear this, Japanese people will be like, "Yeah, that makes sense." - Yeah, they'll be like, "Yeah, but that's shogunate, bro." - Yeah, they're like, "Well, you know, there needs to be consequences." And you're like, "God damn, don't you work a job?" - Take one step into these people's shoes and you won't be saying that shit.

- Well, Japan, they like being harsh on everything. - Yeah. - Well, it's like, they'll be very harsh on some things, you know, like they'll go, like, you know, I mean, obviously with all the stuff that made the rounds is all the tourist stuff. They'll pick the most extreme solution to mundane problems. - Yeah. - And then when there's actually a problem, they'll be like, "Shouganai ne."

- No, no. - It's too difficult to tackle. - Have you seen the guy who was at the Hachiko statue with like the massive sign? - Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. - Can you put it up? - Which one?

So there was this guy who was apparently standing outside of Hachiko statue with a massive sign for tourists. - Okay. - With just like do's and don'ts. And this is like, you know when you like- - It was the one second row third. - Yeah, that one. - That one? - Yeah.

- This is like going through the terms and conditions. - Look how big this is. - Look at this. - Welcome to Japan, but zombie traveler proliferation alert.

Stop forcing English. Japanese people also have privacy. - You are a pervert and a stalker. What are you guys doing? Kabukicho is not a place for sightseeing. Yes, it is. Don't wander around with a can of alcohol. - Bro, you look at some of this and then you're like, have you seen your salaryman?

- Do not carelessly enter entertainment facilities and game halls managed by adult entertainment businesses. Why? They're there for a reason. You can live without a trash can on the street corner. Okay, I mean, I agree with that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is it okay for you to be there? Japanese trains are a meditation space. Okay, look, I get- - My favorite part is right at the bottom. Japan travel tips. - Travel tips.

Anyway, after all of those, here's some places I recommend. Okay, look, I get that there's a part of me, I'm looking at this from both sides. I get the whole thing of, okay, it is true, there are a ton of tourists in Japan that are being absolute shitheads. - Most definitely. - Being completely disrespectful, not realizing that there are different ethical rules for different countries and stuff like that. And then on the other side of the coin,

- You get people like this who are trying to send that kind of encouraging message to not be a dickhead to these tourists, but just doing it in the worst way possible that just makes them look like dickheads. You know what I mean? - I think it's insane just to see how big of a boom in tourism that Japan has gotten to the point where it's just like, I don't know if the infrastructure is prepared for it.

Especially a city like Kyoto, which- - Oh my God, yeah. - Well, they had the, what was it? - They shut down, they had to shut down the- - Yeah, the Gyoen Dori, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They had to shut that down. - I just think, oh man, it's so weird. The whole Fuji debacle,

was... Oh, the wall that they made? Do you want to explain it for anyone who doesn't know? Yeah, so there was a Lawson's people kept taking pictures of because it looks cool. It looks like Japan. There's a Fuji in a Lawson's. Yeah. And there was a whole conversation around like, why are they doing this? You know, why are tourists so stupid? Why are they turning up and taking pictures? And then we're like, when you actually like look, when you actually like have a think as to what's going on here. So...

All of these articles and all of these discussions and everything, and even like YouTubers talk about it, didn't include was that like, so this Lawson's, right? The reason why people were flocking to this Lawson in particular, and it was such a problem is because about...

I don't know, 50 meters, I think like east of it is literally where all of the buses, the train stations, all of them stop. That's where they end. So obviously when they get off a bus ride or a train ride, what are you gonna do? You're gonna go to the fucking Konbini. And you see Fuji in a Konbini, you're gonna take a picture. They made it seem like people were like going out of their way to come to this Lawson's to take pictures and be a nuisance.

It's like, no, you had all of the train stations and all the buses stop here. That's why people are taking photos. And then why, why would you think the solution is to then try and cover up with this shit piece of tarp that cost locals 1 million yen, $8,000. Why was that the solution? Turn it in, try and manage it. Try and make money from this. Like give, like if tourists are going to do this,

find a way to then monetize this, find a way to kind of regulate it. People are gonna take advantage of it no matter what you're doing. - Or it's just like, how do you regulate it? How like you can't, it's a balancing act, right? Because right now there is just like so many tourists in Japan to the point where it's weird to think that Japan has kind of become

because of the exchange rate, it's kind of become like a cheap holiday now, comparatively. If you can afford the ticket then comparatively to a lot of like European holidays, especially, it's just become a cheap holiday destination. And you get tourists coming in that come in knowing that it's a cheap holiday destination,

the service that they get is not cheap at all. It's like premium. You normally pay a premium for the services you get in Japan. So you just have this situation where

because of the situation, so many people are flooding in to a point where I don't think Japan has ever had this many tourists flood in in a single time before. And they're just not prepared for it. They're not prepared to handle this many people. - Which is ironic as well, because they were certainly prepared for it before the Olympics got canceled.

And then they were like, "Well, that's never gonna happen again." And then it happened. - I think the thing is like the businesses and the government were like, "We want tourism." But then obviously like the day-to-day people who are around it are like, "Well, I don't really want that many tourists." And so there's kind of like a disconnect between businesses that wanna make money and governments that wanna make money. And then the local people who are like, "I just kinda wanna work." But it's like, it's a lot to deal with. But this one, I don't know. I just felt like this was the worst solution of all. - Oh no, 100%. - 'Cause not only did it not work,

It made a huge spectacle about it, attracting more tourists. - 'Cause now they're coming to see the wall. - Now they're coming to like go to the place where all this drama's happening. I just felt like, and time and time again, Japan always choose the option of like destroying or getting rid of the thing as opposed to like maybe taking advantage of it. There was like a, I remember Chris was telling me about, there was like a tree somewhere in Hokkaido. There was one tree in the middle of a field that looked amazing to take photos with.

And I guess to get to the tree, I think occasionally people were going over like, I think it was like private property. And the solution was, what do you think the solution was for the Japanese? - Cut the tree down. - Cut the tree down. Which is like, this is...

Like what a way, like if this is the UK, they would have made a fucking line. They would have had like a stall there. They would have had a guy who you like you pay to take pictures. Like they would have, they would be opportunistic people who would be willing to take advantage of this. - Do you think Japan, the Japanese culture want that though? Because it's...

- Yeah, but if your culture's getting it regardless, like you would have to completely close the borders again. You are going to get this. It's not whether you want it or not. People are gonna show up at a Lawson's. You can either sit here and complain about it, put up expensive walls that don't work, or you can find a way to work around it and make it easier to manage these tourists that are inevitably going to come. We can't undo the clock. We can't say like, we don't want tourists. They're coming. - It's a conflict of interest, right? Because in the case with say like,

which is where the Lawson thing is, right? The government, the local government is looking at like the amount of money that's coming into the country through tourism and is going like, oh, this is great. We're getting a lot of money. Like it's helping us to like, you know, grow the town out. And you know, this is income that we haven't seen ever since before the pandemic. So this is awesome. But then there's a conflict of interest of the people who live there who are like,

nah, I just wanna be fucking peaceful. I don't really need it. Like, yeah, the extra money is cool, but now I'm tossed up between like, do I struggle to get customers, but also not have to deal with foreigners or deal with foreigners and get the money? - Well, I think the problem is we've seen this cycle of like the tourism cycle so many times before. And it's like, the real question is,

is the money going to the government or is it actually going to the local people and the local businesses? Because there's so many like,

there's so many examples like right now where like Hawaii for example, where tourism made a big boom to this place, put the prices up and then you get into a point where like even locals can't afford to live there anymore just because everything's become so inflated. - They do the, I know some places in Shibuya have started doing jewel pricing. - Yeah, not really. - Well, so it's instead of wording it, the foreigners get charged more, it's worded normally that this is the normal price and locals get discounts.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Obviously it's a little unfortunate 'cause sometimes us who live here, who look foreign, it's a little awkward when you're like, "Nah, I'm good, I'll have the local price please." - Yeah. - It's like, stop capping. - But in a way, I kind of understand the pushback because I've seen it a lot with my own country of Thailand.

Like I said, I went to a Thai boxing match and it got to the point where because so many tourists are watching Thai boxing matches, the local people, the Thai population can't actually go watch a boxing match of like their own local boxing teams and fighters and shit like that. And you know, in a way it is sad. It's sad, you know? I mean, it's great for the economy, but not the...

for the local economy, arguable for the country economy. - Yeah, but I guess like if there's a demand there and people are showing up, it's kind of like, there's not really much you can do and then figure out how to at least

make this manageable for you as the business owner, which means normally just catering to those people that are showing up and want to pay more, right? - Exactly. - Yeah. - I mean, it's unfortunate, but you know, it's just kind of how it works. Like Japan is trying to push back on this, or at least local people are trying to push back on this. - Yeah. - And it just gives this weird mixed message of like, you're not welcome.

which is fine if they're not, like it's like, you don't have to be welcome everywhere, you're not entitled to be. But then it's also like, you are then in turn creating more problems for yourself because you are not just being like, how do I deal with this in a way that can just benefit everyone?

I don't know. - Well, Japan has had the history of being very not welcoming to the outside world. - Yeah, it has, right? What was that first solution? Cut it all off and then America came a knocking. - Yeah. - America was like, "Knock knock, I brought Jesus." - When you look at anything Japanese related online, especially when you read comments, it's very obvious that like,

- How many people do not like tourists at all? At least online. Like, I mean, when you're talking to people on the street, it's very different, but like netizens are very against that. - I can very openly say that I think Japanese people deep down are some of the most xenophobic people in the world. And it's unfortunate. - The fact that you can do a policy of like, hey, look, I'm gonna charge

a local versus a foreigner this pricing and then how is it based off of? Well, there's only one way to- - How you look baby. - Yeah, which is like, it's such a, like if you try to do this in any Western country, we'd be like- - Oh my God, could you imagine if they tried to do it in America? - Yeah, you wouldn't- - It would be a fucking war. - You would be shut down. - Yeah, 100%. - You know, but I mean, Japan is such a homogenous country where, you know, this is,

you can kind of get away with it. And also the Gion one, I think they shut down the district obviously now and they charge a 10,000 yen fine if you go in there. And the language on the thing says something along the lines of like private property you can't enter. But originally when they were having the conversation, it was banning...

banning only tourists. And there's a lot of questions being like, how do you determine who's a tourist? - Yeah. - Like that's such a very dicey. - This is like, you're gonna stop every guy that isn't Japanese looking and then be like, excuse me, pay the money. And you're like, fuck off. - It's like a Zara card. Do you get like a bouncer? - Yeah. - And then is it fair that you stop everyone that doesn't look, you know, like all the Asians through?

- The Chinese tourists are like, all right. - A lot of these are just objectively bad solutions to a problem. - Japan has historically been so good at that, of just looking at a problem and going,

I have a solution. It is the worst solution ever. - And also like other things that I saw that just made me think like, what do you do in Japan? Like I saw a guy that a father and a son got arrested for making Kamen Rider masks and selling them. - Oh yeah. - They got like 10 years and 10, sorry, can you Google this? - I did see that. - The sentence was ridiculous. - 'Cause it was against copyright. - 'Cause they broke the copyright.

- They didn't get fucking written approval or something. - I can't remember, they were being charged with something outrageous, what I thought. Yeah, click on it or something. - 65 year old twins? - 65 year old twins. They're being, scroll down, scroll down. - 10 million yen. - Younger brother selling them for about Juman or each for about five years and earned about 10 million yen. I can't remember what they were gonna charge them. They were gonna charge them with, I think, I can't remember what I saw.

- It sounded ridiculous. - But either way it's ridiculous. - You arresting a guy for running an Etsy store. - Yeah. - Like obviously you have the right to stop them from selling that, but I just don't think you should be arrested. - No.

- Obviously, we don't know the full story. They could have been menaces for years. They could have been breaching copyright for- - Menaces. - They could have literally been, they could have been doing this- - They could have been devious. - Obviously if you breach copyright, right? I think that there needs to be consequences if you're, you know, 'cause that's how it works. We need rules. - Yeah, for sure. - But there needs to be like, you know, there needs to be a limit about

about what you can do. The dude was selling masks with his brother. This was not like a global operation. You know what I mean?

- Like we're smuggling masks out of the country. - It's like why? - It's like a drug bust. - Japan will take the low hanging fruit and will like throw the SWAT team, they'll throw the crazy police at it and they'll make a big spectacle over arresting a guy who was making fucking Kamen Rider masks. - Yeah, well, yeah, because the Japanese police are probably thinking like, oh, finally something to do. - But then when there's like serious stuff that like they actually could like start addressing, they're like,

- Yeah, right. - I'm gonna go arrest another guy who sells Nintendo Switch games and cheat codes on them. Like, oh my God.

Like for fuck sake. - It's ridiculous. - Sometimes it's so depressing watching like, I don't know, just seeing the choices that the local governments or police makes. We were like, this is just so dumb. - I mean, I knew it was going down the shitter, especially like at the beginning of the pandemic when the government was like, all right, we need to help all of the, you know, the Inuka towns out because no one's traveling there anymore. So what's our solution? We could like maybe give them a grant or something. Nah. Oh, I know.

we'll do this thing called the go-to campaign where we basically pay for everybody's vacations. And so they can support the local governments. And then someone was like, yeah, but wouldn't that spread COVID more? They're like, yeah.

- Yeah, don't worry about that. - A lot of, you know, and obviously when they- - The worst thing they could have done. - A lot of short-sighted policies. Like obviously when they had the whole message about please drink more 'cause kids aren't drinking. 'Cause 20 year old people, kids, sorry, kids aren't drinking as much. They were like, we need people to drink more. It's like, what? No, we don't. This is a great thing. - No, we don't.

Don't make people drink more. What the fuck are you talking about? - It's all short cider, man. They never think long-term about anything and it's actually terrifying. - Yeah, it's just, I don't know. It's just a shame 'cause you're, you know, it's just still like, why? Why is the solution to people taking pictures to put up a tarp that is clearly not gonna do anything? - Also, what's stopping people? - Did it help? - It's got holes in it already.

- Yeah, people just poking holes and then sticking the lens through it. - Yeah, like obviously there's the only way they could fix it if they built like a concrete wall around this Lawson, like a military-esque checkpoint. And don't give Japan ideas, I didn't say that. - Also there's literally nothing stopping people from just walking around the top and just taking it from the other side.

- It was the biggest fucking waste of money ever. - I don't know. It's just like, why specifically that point? - I just told you earlier. - Because it's right next to the bus station. - Yeah, and also because it's the perfect vantage point of Mount Fuji sitting directly on top of the Lawson. So Japanese people were like, oh, kawaii. - It's literally just 'cause it was right next to where everyone got off the bus and train, went to the Lawson's to get their snacks, get waters.

and then they would see the view. - Yeah, I mean, what I meant to say was like, I mean, Mount Fuji ain't exactly small. - No, no, no. - It's not like you can only take pictures of Mount Fuji on like one angle, you know? - Yeah, I get it. - That's why I was asking. It's like, why don't we just walk down the road? It's like, no, it needs to be here. - Most people aren't like going out of their way to get pictures, right? So I think it's just, it was literally- - It's convenience. - It was the closest shot that looked kind of like,

- Oh wow, Japan. That just happened to be there, right? And again, like I just wish that they thought of a better solution. Why not have like, I know they already had like a, I think they already had a guy there who was like shuffling people away and whatnot, which is probably realistically the only thing they could do. - Yeah. - I don't think you have to- - Problem is you have to fucking hire a guy just to like people manage.

- In a law sense. Yeah, I mean, it's dumb, you know, it's dumb. - I'm sure the, I don't know, like if it was that bad for the Lawsons, they would be interested as well in hiring some staff to- - Yeah, I mean, the only thing you can do is hope that the money that all these tourists are coming into local area is actually getting back to the local people. You know, that is the only hope you can get because if it's not, then,

you have a bunch of people who live there who are just getting annoyed by tourists every day and they don't see any difference in their business whatsoever. - And they have an addition of an ugly wall. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - That they probably have to pay for with their taxpayer money. - Yeah, exactly. - $8,000 for that wall. - Everyone wins. - $8,000 for the cheapest wall I've seen in my life. I think my wall in Twitch comm was more useful than that. - Yeah, that's what they should do. They should have a white wall that people can draw on. - Yeah, they should have done that. - Just distract them.

- We should just make a photo point and like herd the people. - Yeah. - Like I feel like you just make a little square area and herd people there. - Yeah, and it's like 100 yen. - Or maybe not that, but like. - Or if they wanna do it, right? Like they could easily be like, oh, you wanna get the perfect angle? You know, 50 yen to like come into here and take it with like. - Bro, bro, bro, how are you gonna enforce that? Get the picture.

- Get the picture police on it. Get the picture police. - Put that phone away. Hey, hey, hey, that's a hundred yen per picture actually. - I feel like there was just so many better ways than building a shit wall. - Yeah, no, a hundred percent. - We're gonna build a wall in Fuji. It's gonna be the best wall and the tourists are gonna pay for it. - I got away. Let's just get rid of Mount Fuji.

- That's what they would do. That's the Japan's like- - Japan is like hoping it erupts soon. - Japan is like, "Please." - Japan is like, "It's taking too long to erupt right now." - This is embarrassing. The tourists are ruining Fuji. We've decided to ship Fuji off to Okinawa.

We decided to cut it out like a Looney Tunes ass saw. - We just got a bunch of dynamite together and we'll just make the explosion ourselves. - God damn, it's just like, yeah, it's just, I just kind of,

- The solutions they come up with for just over tourism is just so, oh my God. - It's so brain dead. But yeah, that's about it. Thanks for listening to us bitch and whine and moan as always. But hey, look at all these patrons. - Look at all the patrons. - These people definitely stay healthy and be respectful when they come to Japan. They don't punch holes in the wall.

I hope. - Just be respectful as a tourist. - Just be respectful, man. It's not hard. Just learn the etiquette and you'll be fine. But hey, if you want to support the show and check out our exclusive Patreon weekly content, then make sure to follow us on patreon.com/trashtaste. We have a brand one for you that you can go watch right after this episode. - Brand one for you? - Brand one. - Brand one. - A brand new one.

that you can go check out after this episode. But hey, if you wanna check that out as well as a bunch of other Patreon exclusive content plus supporting the show, then head on over to patreon.com/trashtaste. Also follow us on Twitter, send us some memes on the subreddit. And if you hate our face, listen to us on Spotify. - And we will see you guys next week. - Bye.