DAD IS BACK! (ft. @Pewdiepie) | Trash Taste #188
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- Welcome back to another episode of Trash Taste. Once again, I'm joined by the boys, Jerry and Garnt, and this time, another special guest, Felix is back. - Yeah! - Welcome back. - A year later or more. - Yeah, isn't it? How long has it been? - Has it been a year? - I checked before, it was 124 episode. - It said a year on YouTube. - Oh, so a year and a bit. - Oh, damn. - What is this one? - This is 180 something. - What episode did we go? - More than a year.

- Well, I mean, it's also, I think a momentous occasion because you are the first dad ever on Trash Taste. - Am I really? - I think so. - No fucking way. - I don't think we've had before. - I'm sure one of our... - I can't be the only dad. - Can you think of anyone who we've had is a parent? Like at the time they came onto the show, like Reina Snelly's had. - Oh, no we are. - Yeah.

- Sorry Alex. - Edit that out, I'll claim the title. - You are the second dad on the show. - You are the only person that has become a dad in between the first time coming on. - That's achievement. - Incredible. - One fun thing that happened is that I guess, 'cause after with the episode when you obviously announced that

you having a kid, we'd actually brought it up on that Trash This episode. And you were like, how did they know? We didn't know. - Yeah, we just really get- - We just brought it up for some reason. - It was really fucking weird. I remember sitting here, it was too early to announce it. And you guys just bring up my hypothetical child.

- How do they know? You know how women have like the pregnancy glow? I'm like, do I have the dad glow? - You're already giving off dad energy. - The dad energy is knowing you don't have to be the one to give birth. You're like stoked. - I was like, why is Felix way happier than me?

- You sat down and you just groaned a certain way. You're like, oh, he's getting ready. - That was really trippy. I genuinely was like, what the fuck? How did they know? It really freaked me out. - How long ago, when we filmed that episode, like how long was it that you knew

I don't remember exactly, but it was quite a reason. Wow. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm just not making things now that I've stopped saying. Oh my gosh.

- That'd be so funny if anyone's got a hammer on their head. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm like, oh shit. - That'd be so hilarious. - These chairs hurt. - So I guess obvious first question we wanna ask you is- - Well, obvious first thing is congratulations. - Yeah, congratulations. - But first question is what's it like being a dad now that you're a dad now? - No sleep. - No sleep. - I don't even remember what it felt like to be properly rested, yeah. - Just four hours every day? - No, no, no, no, no, six maybe.

- Okay, okay. - Yeah, do that for five months. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah, I knew that's what their actions were. - Yeah, once maybe. - It's not just your early YouTube career. - He was younger back then. - It's not just every YouTube was only because- - I'm 34 now, I can't do it anymore.

- Oh, God. - No, it's great. Yeah, it's really fun. - How was it, I guess, having a child in a foreign country, especially like Japan, I think a lot of people would be curious to know, like, was it easy? Was there a lot of funny little things you didn't expect or? - Probably more a question for Marius there, to be honest. - Yeah, true, true. You're all like chilling. You're like, yeah. - You're just chilling, man. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's...

- It's different for sure. I'm amazed she was able to do that in a foreign country. - That's scary. - I'm excited to see what the fuck we were thinking. - I mean, especially 'cause your kid probably has the worst name for Japanese people to pronounce. - No, it sounds not bad. - How do they say it? - How would the Japanese people say it?

- Because I was thinking it was just gonna be bjorn. - Bjorn, oh bjorn. - Maybe. - I don't know, maybe. - They have the, it's really popular here, the baby brand, Baby Bjorn. - Oh yeah. - So you just reference, there you go, it happened just now. Yeah, they know it, so they're like, oh. - Oh, same, same. - So that works. - So you gotta figure it out, that's it, it's easy. Just name your kid after a brand.

- Sorry, I just remembered. I asked you, I was like, "Is Bjarne, like, is that a bad name?" You were like, "No, it's great." And now I come in and you say it's the word. - Is it bad in Japanese? Does it mean anything else? - No, no, no, you asked me, you asked me, "Does it mean anything bad in Japanese?" - Yeah. - And I said, "No." - No, you said that's a beautiful name. - Yeah, and I think it's a beautiful name.

- It doesn't change the fact that I think it's hard for Japanese people to pronounce. - He was talking mad shit behind my back. - Yeah, he was saying the wildest shit. - I'm like, who the fuck calls a kid Bjorn? - Should we get our coffees? - It means bear in, oh, it's so funny actually. - I have milk for him and soy honey for me. - Yeah. - Sorry. - I'm the oat guy, but maybe that's just you. - Yours is coming, yours is coming. - You're an oat guy? - Yeah. - Do you want mine? - No, no, no. - You can have mine. You're the guest. - I didn't get Guatemala. - You did get Guatemala. - Guatemala.

- Sorry, what were you saying? Oh no, I had to reorder that. So that's for everyone else. That's for Kai. Kai, you and Alex.

- I forgot what I was gonna say. - You were saying? - It means bear. - Okay, yeah, yeah, 'cause we always go to the vaccination and whatever, or checkup, and it's always just me and Marzia and a bunch of moms. 'Cause Japanese dads don't exist, I've never seen one. - Well, then I'll go in the, you were saying that it's not common for Japanese dads to be in the room when the mom's giving birth. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I noticed that.

- There's a very Japanese mentality. If you're like, ah, I'll see him when he's cleaning and stuff. - It's also the worst 'cause they were also, you know, it's against the- - The rules to go in. - No, no, the painkiller thing. Like, no, you should have a natural birth as well. Only recently Japanese women are like, no. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to like, you have to either go to a specific hospital or you have to like really push for it, right? - Yeah, it's not common, yeah. - So were you an obstetrician in the room?

- Yeah, they brought me in for the finale. - So you were just like chilling, playing an ad? - I wasn't there for the entire season, but I was there for the final episode. - They gave me a rundown. - You're like posting on Twitter, guys, it was a hard four, 12 hours, but it was worth it. - They gave you the cliff notes. - What were you doing then during the- - They kept me at home, yeah.

You were just chilling? I wasn't even allowed to be outside. They were like, mine was the one that I had to text me to. It wasn't even like the nurses talking to me or something. Oh my God. So she texted you to give you updates? Yeah. And she's like, okay, come now.

And then, yeah, I didn't hear anything for a while. And I was like, I wonder if I have time to pee. And then of course, as soon as I go to the bathroom, she's like, come now. And I'm like, but yeah, they brought me in for the highlight and everything went great. So yeah, hell yeah. Happy. Yeah. Japan's service is really good with childbirth. So that's a good part. I mean, they, they got to make a good,

- Yeah, I mean, it's a rare event. - It's becoming once a year thing. - They gotta make it as appealing as it could possibly be. - Yeah, I think they have the lowest child death in the world. - I think, yeah, Korea's, I think, fertility's different from birth rate. Is it? I can't remember if it is. There's a whole bunch of statistics about it. - Yeah, okay.

- Okay. - Point being, no one wants to have babies. - Yeah. - Well, it's 'cause you can't. - When is it your turn? Yeah. - When is it us? - I'm doing what you guys did to me now. - Yeah. - You're your reference. - Oh, I, I.

- How did he know? - How did he know? - I'm not giving off the gloat. - Why don't we ask them? Why ask them this? When is it? - Yeah, Joey. Yeah, Joey. - What do you mean? You're the married man. You're the closest to me. - Yeah, I mean, it's probably gone as close as. - Yeah, I mean, it's something. I mean, I've talked about it on the podcast. - No pressure, my guy. I was just joking.

- Oh no, I get enough pressure from my family. - This is how she's gonna find out. - Anything compared to going to a family reunion and getting the 20 different aunts asking me, that's like hard mode. This is just like chill. Yeah, I mean, I guess it will come when it will come. This is not any hint. Stop looking at my eyes and just like... - Psychoanalyze. - Studying my body language. - He's lying right now, actually.

- But I think I want a kid sometime in the next few years. That's what I think. I don't kind of know. Maybe it'll happen earlier. Maybe it'll happen later. Who knows? - When you're ready, you're ready. - Yeah, exactly. Well, were you ready?

- Yeah. - Do you think? - Well, yes and no, I guess. Yeah, you get nine months to prepare. - Yeah. - You're not prepared. - Yeah, we were trying to like find all the pay to win our way through, like getting all the, every Amazon baby machine there is. We're gonna solve baby raising. - I thought you meant the pay to win

- For conception, I was just like, what? - I guess you can do that. - What does that mean? - You can do that too. - Yeah. - You can do that, I guess, yeah. - Yeah, it's hard. - So, what's the most hardest thing you've had to learn as a dad now? - Sleep, sleep for sure. - Sleep? - Yeah, it really kills you after a while. - Yeah, I guess you just have to sleep when the baby sleeps. That's the common thing that people say. - Yeah, what a great idea, Connor.

- Just, I wouldn't know. - The baby doesn't sleep. - What do you mean? - He's gotta sleep at some point. - He's got something on. - Oh. - I'm going crazy. - Shit. - No, we're gonna sleep training soon and I can't wait.

- You should send them off to boarding school. - This guy's suggestions too. - No, it's great. You should get the Asian mentality, which is just pass it off to your like their grand. - Yeah, like, you know, flower them. - That would have been very helpful. - Like, mom, dad, you take care of the baby for a weekend. - Well, a lot of like interesting,

articles have been raised about how like a lot of people nowadays don't have their grandparents raising kids. And it's like one of the reasons why a lot of people don't want to have kids. It's like, they don't have any other external supports. When you were growing up, right? You had aunts, you had your grandparents helping you and whoever else. And now it's kind of mostly on the parents. - Well, I mean, it's the grandparents, right?

- I mean, it's especially tough like in your instance because all of your family extended family doesn't live in Japan. - Yeah, grandparents would have been helpful. - Yeah, for sure. - I think my older brother, I've got a nephew, I think he moved back to go near my parents' house. - But that makes sense. - And they're pros at that point. They're like no concerns. I feel like if I had a kid, I'd be very worried about everything. Whereas I think grandparents are like, nah, fuck it.

We'll figure it out. Do this. - You're fine. - I'll be fine. - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Well, I'm fine. - They raised a weird kid, I think. - My tit is the worrying. - Already? You're like, nah. - Yeah, I was fine. Whatever. - Are there any like weird skills you have to learn in preparation for nine months? - Yes, so much shit. - 'Cause I wanna know what I've got to like, I guess look forward to. - I'll help you out. - Yeah, yeah. - What's the, 'cause I think when I wanna have a kid, right? I wanna like make him like,

So I would start from day one. I'm like, all right, start showing him cool stuff right away. Subconsciously making him think that like video games are cool. - Okay, I think they will like that anyway. - They will like that anyway, but like the right video games. I'll give like two piles of like foods. One will have subway surfers, one will have Elden Ring. He crawls towards, and if he goes towards the subway, he gets no food. So he just has to learn. - He goes to boarding school.

And then he resents me, but at least he'll be cool. This is the biggest decision on your life right now. Pick the right answer. This is a joke, by the way.

- That's an interesting approach. Yeah, I'll consider it. - You should really take this, I have no children. You should really consider this. - No, no, I'll do that. Yeah, for sure. - What age do you think you're gonna let your kid start gaming? - Soon as possible. - Soon as possible? - Absolutely. - Game of family and game of baby. - He's gonna be playing like the worst games. You're gonna be disappointed. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

But it's like, he's fine minds, so they can't really do much. Yeah. Yeah, my family's like, what can he do now? I'm like, yeah, still a baby. What age do they start doing stuff?

- Dude like poke it with a stick, like come on. - I mean you can play with him for sure, but like, yeah, it's like rattling noises. It's not like I can- - They don't start walking for like another five months at least, right? - Exactly. - We can speed that up. - I didn't realize how long it takes. - I reckon we can speed that up a little bit. - Speed run strap. - Speed run and raise a child. - The walking clip. - First words, what was it? Like first words? How long does that take?

- Normally. - Can Bjorn speak it? - I should know that. No, I think it's like a year maybe. - A year? Okay. - I think you learn to walk before you learn your first words, right?

- Or is it the other way around? - I should know that. Yeah, I don't know. - I don't know. - How long does it take? - Yeah, speaking their first words in 11 to 13 months. - 11 to 13 months. - Fuck, they're slow, aren't they? - He's already accidentally, they say mama all the time. He doesn't know what it means. - Yeah. - This is a sound they make and I'm like, mom's rigged it. I have no chance to be mama first, right? - Yeah, you're done. You're done. - Yeah. - But you can be the cool dad.

- No, yeah, for sure. - You're gonna be the cool dad. - Well, the fun dad, I guess, yeah. - Okay. - I saw you've written off cool dad. You're like, ah. - I saw you trying to learn as many cool things as possible in like a shorter time period to impress your son. What do you think is like, what's the funnest thing that you've learned that you think will be the most impressive? - I don't fucking know. Yeah, I don't know.

- I mean, he's amazing by anything. You can show him anything and he's like, "Wow." So I don't know. - He's a big confidence booster. - Yeah, he's great. - Just seen the big, "Oh." - Yeah, he laughs at anything. It's hilarious. I am pretty funny, I know. - Speaking of that, I do love the way Bjorn laughs. - He's very cute. - He just sounds like an old man. - He sounds like an old man. - Yeah. - He's like, "He, he, he, he, he." - He doesn't know how to laugh yet. He's really cute, yeah.

- I saw you when you were learning your skills, you did this, the art video where you showing off your art journey. - You still laughing today? - I am, yeah. - I saw it, I don't know, you put it in season, I think you're on Twitter, but it's kind of set Twitter into a really interesting conversation. A lot of people are like, "What the fuck, he actually got good."

- Yeah, nice. - A lot of people were very like, it was not like any negative or anything, but it was very, people were talking about it a lot like- - I definitely don't want to piss off the art community. - No, it's generally that there were some people who were like, a lot of people were like, that's fucked up that it took me five years to get to where he got, like stuff like that. But you know, it was really interesting video. - They hate you 'cause they hate you. - Yeah, and I guess you didn't even realize people, you'd caused a bit of a conversation on Twitter. Yeah, a lot of people were talking about it. What made you want to get into that? - I don't know, just a random whim.

- So what's your DeviantArt account? - I watched that video and I was watching, I was like, man, I'm impressed that you don't get frustrated with this and wanna stop. - No, I got really frustrated. - How do you keep going?

- I don't know. - It's for a son. - No, I don't know. - Real reasons only, Joe. - I just wanna draw cute anime girls, come on. - All right, well, that's a good enough reason. - I do get that question a lot and I generally, I don't know. - You don't know? You have no idea what? - I'm just way a different man. - All right, all right. - He's built it. - It's all about the grand sitcom.

- Okay, all right. - I wake up at 5:00 AM. - 'Cause the kid wakes you up. - Yes. - As soon as I saw you doing that video and saw you like, "I'm gonna choose to draw girls." I was like, "Yeah, my man knows." - They don't wanna go for muscular man or- - Maybe that's the next step, yeah. - Muscles are hard, I think. - That's exactly right, yeah. - This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Going online without ExpressVPN is like not having a case on your phone.

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- That's fine, I'm still doing it. - I find it amusing that you found anime girls to draw easier than like any other art style. Do you think anime is just an easier art style to beginners? - Yeah, 'cause it's kind of stripped down.

- It's not realistic looking. - Right, right. - There's like a weird formula to it as well, right? That's like a little bit harder to kind of deviate from, even if you wanted to. 'Cause like if you deviate a little bit from the anime art style, it just doesn't look anime. - Yeah, it looks horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You try and give them lips and it's like, "What the fuck is this? It looks cursed as hell."

- You make them draw their nose. - Yeah. - What the fuck is this? - Yeah, like an anime character with DSLs just looks a little bit weird. - Yeah, a little weird. - It doesn't work. I think it's 'cause the eyes are so big. Anything else just kind of- - Yeah. - Takes up a lot of room. - Yeah, but it gives me hope because I think I have like negative art skills and seeing how- - You should try it, yeah. - Seeing how fast, yeah, I do, I do. Seeing how fast you improved in such a short period of time or maybe you're just naturally talented at it, I don't know. - I don't know.

- You're good at a lot of things, it's annoying. - Can you have one floor please? - God damn it. - This is the cool dad, by the way. - What's your biggest floor? - Biggest floor. Well, I realized the other day I'm not actually a good person. - Okay, elaborate, elaborate. - Well, 'cause if I'm doing something nice for other people,

For normal people, I imagine it's just like, oh, of course. For me, it's like, it hurts me. What do you mean? You're like, okay, if I'm driving. Oh, actually, we had this conversation. Yeah, yeah. If I'm driving and I have to let someone go, I'm like...

"God fucking damn you for making me do this." - He was in the wrong lane, right? Completely the wrong lane. And everyone was lining up in the right lane, which we needed to be in. And I was like, "Yeah, just go in. "So I'm gonna let you in." And then two minutes later, the opposite situation happened. We were in the right lane. - Connor kept egging me on for the record.

No, no, no. Someone else was kind of join our lane. And I was like, you should let them in because we just, someone else just let us in. And he's like, I don't want it. I was like, you're a piece of shit. You did. Yeah, because I pressured you because I made you feel bad about it. I do it, but I don't want it.

but I don't want to do it. - If no one was in the car with you, you'd be like, "I don't want to do it." - I think about all those times where I'm driving and I have to make this exit and some saint lets me in the lane. He's like, "Fine." - Which is me, 'cause I do it. - Yeah. - He wants me to do it. - No, I don't want to. If I ever see you drive, I don't want you to let me in. I know you don't want to do it. I'll wait for the next car. - I think it actually makes me a better person because it's harder for me to do it. So if anything, I'm better than a good person. - So why do you do it then if you don't want to do it?

- Society. - Society. - I would say society is working as intended then, 'cause you feel shame for not- - I have a big ship of society. - Fucking makes me, God damn it. - Okay, so let me get this straight, let me get this straight. You're sitting there, you know, Bjorn just finally-

- You're the only one? You're not judging me, come on. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

you do this thing where, I think you're genuinely nice a lot of the time. So there's sometimes where you're like, I should be nice here. And you've decided to be nicer. And that's a conscious thought that you've made. You didn't think about it and you didn't just compulsively do it. You're like, you have the options. - Which is way nicer. 'Cause you're making an effort. - But then I feel like sometimes I'm like, man,

Is that who I really am? But I still chose to do the nice thing or perceived nice thing. - It's too deep for me. I just wanna think that I'm good. - It fucks me up. I sit there and I'm like, am I a bad person that I didn't immediately think to do the nice thing? - I think if you speak you're a good person. - But it's also like sometimes you just, sometimes just also in like the mood to do something nicely. Sometimes you're just in a happy mood

And should doing something nice always be mood dependent? - Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Do you guys drive here? - Fairly often. - I don't know. - I don't have a license. I have a license, but I don't drive too often. - Okay, let me read it. What are you gonna say? - Well, the reason I realized is 'cause of the blinking that people do. They do use the hazard lights as a thank you. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I asked Connor, do you count the blinks that they give you?

'Cause in my head, I thought this was like a system that everyone developed. - This dude made up an entire kindness system. - No, no, no, people do it, I'm not crazy. - Explain, explain, explain. - So basically what Felix is saying is if someone, if Felix lets someone in and then they go into the lane in front of them and then they click the hazard lights to blink to say thank you, right? - Felix is there sitting there being like, "They only blinked once." - Yes, absolutely. Connor only blinks once. - I told him.

- I was like, what are you talking about? I blink once with the heart. - That's insane. - So people use the hazard lights in the car to say thank you, right? And I say, I press it once 'cause I don't want people to think there's a fucking hazard. - Yeah, yeah. - I might just press it once. - No one uses it once. - Yes, they do on highways. On highways they do. - You do it once as like a thank you and that's, they should be, that's gratitude. - Because any more than that, you're gonna be like, oh, they're actually in trouble. - Listen, here's how it works. Three blinks is like, oh dude, thank you so much.

- Four is way too much. That is way too much. - I do really nice things sometimes, I expect the four. - Just leave it off. Why turn it off? Just say thank you to the entire car ride. - A one is like fuck off. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

- No one does it one, only Connor does it. - So many people do it. - No, that is not true. - What is this, the American tipping system right now? - Yes, it is. - You only gave one blink, how bad was my service? - Well, I guess I'm just that nice driving there because I never get it one. - How many times do you do it? - All the time. - Well, like how long? How many blinks? - Well, three is like I said, thank you so much. Two is like, all right, thank you, appreciate it.

So it depends. - This is why you don't let people through 'cause they only blink to you once so you didn't think they're ungrateful. - Exactly. - They're like, no one's ever grateful enough. - We're saying that the amount of, you know when you do the hazard light, say thank you. It doesn't matter how many blinks you leave it on for. - It matters.

- Does that mean how many thank yous you're giving? - Yes, it is. - That's why I leave it at least three. - Yes! - No! - Yes! - Let's go! - At least three. - At least three. - That's crazy. No, I'm Googling this. - Because three and more is there's a fine line between, oh my God, I appreciate this so much and help me. - I was driving. - So glad you're here. - If someone does two to me, I'd be pissed.

Yes, that's right. What? That's right. What? I say three. No. And what would one be? One is just disrespectful.

- Yes, that's it. - No you. - That's it. - What are you talking about? - One is the same as like getting flipped off. Okay, Reddit is saying twice. - I've never heard of this. - In between everything. - Reddit doesn't know, fuck off. - This is like a language that some people have made for themselves and no one else is following. Like you guys have made up this language. - Where did you guys learn this? Because this isn't in any like driving school. - The thank you? - Yeah, the thank you thing. - I think it's like a virus, it's spread.

Like you just see a guy doing it, you're like, "Oh, that makes sense. I'll do that next time someone does it." 'Cause that's how I learned. - They do that in the UK. And I was like, "Dad, why are you putting the hazard lights on?" And he was like, "Oh, I'm just saying thank you." - That's the most annoying shit in UK. 'Cause it's always dark and then they hazard light. You're like, "Fucking, I didn't do that." - Yeah, that's why we already blinked once. - You know, to show real kindness, I just get out of my car and thank them. - Wait, wait, so you can use the front lights. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - To get someone's attention. - That's what I mean, not the hazard lights.

- Do you use the hazard lights in the UK? - I use the front lights to get someone's attention. - Yeah. - They say thank you in the UK with it. - Yeah, you can do that too, yeah. - Yeah, it's awful. - Especially on like country roads. - Well, you know, 'cause like what if someone lets you in? Then you say you flick, 'cause they can't see your hazard light, so you flick the front ones to say thank you. - Yeah, but they blind you. I don't wanna like it. That's a dumb thing.

- You drive a Tesla, it drives the car, okay? You don't drive the car. - It's reasons like this that I like, every time I go to a new country, I'm fucking shitting my pants about what the rules are 'cause every rule is different. Okay, so, okay, say you are like- - In Japan, super respectful driving rules. You have to bow after- - Three. - You have to stop the car and bow. - You have to leave the car.

- So this is something I learned when I was like moved to Thailand. So you're at a junction, right? - Yeah. - And there's a car coming and he blinks twice using the front lights. What does that mean? - He's letting you go. He's saying, "Go ahead." - So in Thailand, if you see that, that means,

"Do not fucking go 'cause I am not going to slow down." - That's psychotic behavior. - My brakes are broken? - There should not be a signal for that. You shouldn't be allowed to communicate that. - No, that makes sense. - You know what would be perfect for that? - No, 'cause this motherfucker would be going down the highway fucking flicking it the entire time. - You egged me on when I drive. I'm a super nice driver. - Okay, the only time I egged him on is there was a long line

- You're like, just take advantage. Take advantage of the Japanese kindness. That's what he told me. - The line was literally, it was like an hour long and I was like, we could do, listen, we're on a tight schedule here. Drive to the front and merge and cut in. Be a dick. - You're like the devil on my shoulder. - And he did it. And we got through right away. It's a huge dick move, don't do this, but we were in such a rush. - Yeah, but no one feels to be like, that's a great idea.

- I think that's a good idea. - And I shouldn't have told him. He wanted someone to just acknowledge him and say it to him. - But now I'm the good person, you know? - You're like, Connor, are you sure? Are you sure, Connor? Yes, I'm sure, Felix. Well, geez, I guess Connor. Skip like a hundred cars, cut right in before the turnoff. - Yeah, that's an asshole thing to do. Don't do that unless- - He also doesn't tip in Japan. What a damn joke.

- Oh my God. - So have you, do you think you've acclimated to Japan now then?

- It's been like a year now. - I think I need more time actually. - You think you need more time? - I mean, it took a long time even UK where I felt like, oh yeah, everything's set up, I'm good. - We did go to Greg's so you didn't have to. - Let's just be real. - That's a side quest you never finished. - I gotta go back apparently. - I'll bring you on. - I'll never go to Greg's, it just looks so bad. - That's out of pocket.

- Why don't you feel like you've actually made it? - Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out the town hall to be honest. - Okay, yeah. - Don't worry, that's something you'll never figure out. - That's part of the acclimation process is that you never figure it out. - The day you'll remember it is when you're going to go collect your pensions. That's the day you'll figure it out. - Yeah, there's still news that I'm like, "Oh, I have to do that. "I need this paper." Yeah, so yeah.

- Do you have the, my number card? Do you have that? - No, and why would I? I don't get it. What the fuck is that? - It's basically like, there are benefits to it. - It's like a social security card. - But what's wrong with my actual card?

- No, the Zaryu. - Zaryu card? - Yeah. - It's different, it's different. So basically, 'cause Japan is, they realized, they're like, "Huh, guys, we've fucked up here. "We have so many different things all on different paper "and computer systems that are not joining over. "Why don't we make one card that allows you "to access all of them in one go?" - Oh, I see. - And so they made the system, but a lot of old people didn't wanna do it because they're like, "I don't want the government "to have more of my fucking information."

So a lot of people didn't do it, but there are benefits to it, which you can do, which one thing that I absolutely love, if you ever need to print off documents or documents you need to go to the city hall to get, you can print them off at the convening.

- No way. - We have to just show you my number card. - It's like a printer. - It's huge. - It's on the printer. - Oh, it's a printer. - There's an attachment on the printer. You put it on. So if you ever need to get like tax documents, you don't need to go to the city hall. You can just go to a printer and go through the options and get all the documents you need to print. And like the Jumien Hall, is that what it's called? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The residence certificate. - Yeah, you can get that as well from the printer.

- So it's like, you can eliminate- - I only just now realized you were supposed to go to the town hall for that. - Yeah. - I haven't even gotten to that part yet. - I got the one, right? And it's this beautiful certificate and they're like, "Oh, can we see it?" And then they take it and I'm like, "No." - Oh yeah, you can't copy it, they take it. - Yeah, I didn't realize you were supposed to go to the town hall to get new ones. - And you have to pay $4 for them to print this fucking thing off. I don't know why. And it's on some very special paper with the biggest QR code I've ever seen on the back.

- It looks like a mess. Yeah, it's very annoying though. But just doing anything in the town hall is never fun and never gets easy. - So I'm not alone there at least. - No, no, no, you'll never feel welcome. - It's kind of like the DMV of Japan. - The DMV in Japan is also bad. - Well, it depends on which one you go to. It depends on the branch, but every town hall experience I've had is that I've had to wait at least like, even if it's like super empty. - You book out your morning and afternoon. - Yeah, basically you waste half of a day doing it. - Have you renewed your license yet in Japan?

- Which one? - The driving license. - Oh, that place. Yeah, no, I don't need to do that yet. - Okay, when you do a con, you have to do a two hour lecture. - No, I saw that. - Fuck that. - I remember seeing that. - Oh, you do? You just sit in a two hour lecture of them talking. It's like a really old guy just pointing at signs saying, "Don't drunk and drive. "Don't drive too fast on snow." Two hours, and then you just get to leave and you get your license. It's ridiculous. - I heard they have like, I don't know if this is true, but I heard they had like a bunch of foreigners crashing cars in the videos.

- I didn't see a video, it was a presentation, but they completely did it. - It's like some weird propaganda shit. - Yeah, I don't know, I was like, what the fuck? The worst place in Japan is where you have to reapply for the visa.

- That's like hell on earth in Japan. - It's also in the worst parts of Tokyo and there's nothing around. There's no stock shops. There's no fucking train station near it. - There's just cargo after cargo. I'm like, where the fuck am I? I didn't know there were sketchy places in Tokyo. Yeah, that place is fucked. - They got it next to all the dangerous chemical plants. - You see people scribbling like, "I hate Japan."

On the tables and shit like that. So depressing, dude. Jesus. Town Hall is great, though. They're super friendly.

- The what? - The town hall. - Actually- - Oh, the town hall? - Yeah. - It depends. I guess you got a lucky town hall. - Lucky town hall. - Lucky town hall. - Lucky spawn. - The one I live at now is really nice. - Shiny town hall. - Well, the one that we used to live at was a major, major area in Saitama. - That was a huge one. - It was like a fucking 12 stories town hall. - Oh God, geez. - But the one I live at now is really small. There's no one ever there, so there's no lines. - There you go, that's perfect. - And I'm like, yeah, it's fine. - The small ones are way better than the massive ones, for sure.

- That was fun. I do prefer it now. It's way more chill. - So see, I feel like you have acclimated. Knowing the fact that like going to the immigration office, going to the town hall, getting documents is all the biggest pain in the ass in the world. I would call that acclimation. - God, does the Japanese not have anything better to do?

and they're filling papers all day like, "Goddamn." - You are finding out that no, they do not have any- - Japan's economy could soar through the skies if they just stop filling in papers. - We've been flying cars by now. - And also everything's always different, so if you change your dress right, you need to go to the new town hall and tell them that you changed your dress. - Yes. - Which can be a little bit of a joke. - No, no, you first have to go to your

- Old town hall. - Yes, yes, sorry. - To de-register. - To break up, you gotta break up with the old. - You gotta break up with your old girlfriend to get with your new girlfriend. - And then, oh, wouldn't it be great, I don't know if my driving license could also be updated in the same town hall. No, you have to go to the police station to then change on the back of your driving license to get them to put the new address

Why the police station? 'Cause the police station manages all the driving licenses, which is separate. But why wouldn't you put it all in one? Why do I have to go to two separate fucking places to do this? It's ridiculous. - What is this that you've just Googled? - Flying cars Osaka. - We would be driving in these if they had it all in one system. - They wanna put this for 2025. Osaka has like this bump up guy. - This is a helicopter, dude.

That is a helicopter. But the thing is, they probably won't make it because there's too much like legalities to go through. It's just, it's a giant drone. Yeah, it's just a big drone. I'm going to be so pissed if flying cars come out like right after I die or something. Just get a helicopter. Do we want flying cars? Yes. I mean. Because he hates traffic. Who does? It's going to be flying car traffic. I don't mind traffic.

- What the fuck? - Actually, no, that's just weird. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Okay, listen, listen, daily- - Why do you tell me to cut through all of it then? - Because if you were in a rush, okay, that's different. Like daily traffic, you know, five, 10 minutes traffic, it's slowed down for maybe five minutes. I don't give a fuck about that. If it's like an hour jam and I'm stuck, yeah, that fucking sucks. But like this guy, one car stops in front of him, he's like,

- Internally, yes. But on the outside, I'm a good person. - I can feel when you miss the red light, like you're the last car to miss the red light. I can feel your blood pressure rising. - Do you like driving? - Yeah, I drove here. - Driving in Japan is fun. I do like driving in Japan. A lot of people, you know, I think one thing that is massively underrated is driving in Japan 'cause a lot of people,

The trains are amazing and definitely do use them. - That does feel like pay to win. Everyone takes public service so the roads are all clear. - It's great because there's so many cool areas of Japan and so many cool things that you just cannot access without a car. And I think if you don't mind driving, definitely do it. If you maybe like second or third trip in Japan, look into it, it's really fun. - Just don't drive in Tokyo 'cause that's a nightmare. - It's not even that bad. - It's not even that bad. - London is so much worse.

- Oh, I wouldn't even like wish that upon my worst enemy. - I got my license in London. - Are you kidding me? - He's fucking awful, yeah. He was like, okay, so this junction is a funny one. It's a reverse roundabout with a one-way system. And if you go into the car, you get executed by a 1930s law. I'm like, what?

"What the fuck is this?" Like the road's not even paved. He's like, "Yeah, it's a feature." - And then like the random taxes you get if you're too big of a vehicle in a certain roads or something. - Oh God. - Yeah. - I don't know how it works. I just got a bill. - Same here. It's all like taking some kind of roads and there's a congestion charge. I didn't know that. - So tolls in the UK,

- What the fuck? You have to go through the toll and then go home after, go online and then say, "Hey, I was on the toll. I'll pay it with my credit card." Who thought of that system? - What? - Yeah. - That sounds like shit. - And if you don't pay it, you get, 'cause you know, maybe you're going to meet your family. You forget about it. My first thought isn't like, "I wanna pay this bill." You forget about it. You get fined out the ass for being late. - Why would you not just like,

- That's like going to a restaurant and you having to pay once you got home. - I think 'cause they wanna find you, they wanna get fines 'cause they can pick up so much money. - I mean, it's more like efficient 'cause you don't have like a gate or toll gate where people like lined up. - It's still fucking slow. - But so many times I've had a toll and I didn't know I needed to pay until I got back and they were like, "You are late and you have to pay 300 pounds because..."

I saw like one sign that says you need to pay. And I was like, well, I've already driven past it. So I don't know any of the details I needed to do. - And you're driving, it's not like you can write down a note like on your phone or something. - That's what I'm saying. - Yeah, it's kind of dumb. Whereas in Japan they just have the ETC card, which is really nice. - So good. - Yeah, just rock up. That is nice. That is very nice. - That just sounds like a scam.

- It is a scam. - It actually is. - That's fucked up. - Every fucking toll is a scam. - Oh, damn. - It's kind of like American healthcare. After you're done, you're like, "Here's the bill, by the way. "Yeah, took care of it. "Don't worry about it." - You owe us three limbs. - You were in a coma and the interest was great. - I thought you were gonna be started on inflation. God damn. - Have you had a lot of time to travel around Japan now?

Not that much. You've been traveling a bit in your vlogs. Yeah, we went on a trip with Bjorn, our first trip. We went to Ito and Atami. Yeah. It was really good. Really enjoyed it. It's nice to finally be able to travel with the baby as well. Oh, yeah. Even though it was hard. Everything takes like three hours longer than it should, but no, it's good. It's really fun. Those places were good. We went up the volcano thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- Beautiful view of Mount Fuji. - Is it the one with the black eggs? Like the onset eggs? - Oh no, that's Hakone. - Oh, that's Hakone. - Yeah, sorry. - It's close. - Yeah, I don't scam. - It is close, yeah. - Same prefecture. - I mean, that area's all really nice. - Yeah. - We haven't gone far though. I think furthest we went was Osaka, so yeah. - Oh, you haven't gone to Kyushu yet? - No. - Oh, Kyushu and Hokkaido are my two favorite. - We were planning to go, but we were like, "That's too far with the baby." - Yeah. - Yeah.

- I mean, for Kyushu it's kind of tough 'cause it's like, and Hokkaido too, it's like five hours train or two hour flight, but then flights suck. So then you're like, ah, I don't really want it. - Are there Japanese flights that aren't good? - I mean, no flights are good. I mean, it's better than normal, but it's still miserable. - Okay. - It's like a flight sucks. - And if you go with Shinkansen, you can only go to like the very like beginning of Kyushu. - Oh, right, yeah. - And the rest of it is all covered. - Oh, no, no, no, you can, the Shinkansen goes all the way to Kirishima.

- Does it? - Yeah. - I thought it stops in fucking- - You have to change and then there's another bullet train that goes all the way down to Kagoshima. - Oh, I did not know that. - And there's one that goes to Nagasaki. They have their own completely own bullet train. It's a completely different design. It's really cool. - Wow. - They've got like a wood version. - I did not know that. - It's really cool. - Shinkansen line. - Yeah, it goes to- - Wow, I did not know that. - Can you show the wooden Shinkansen?

- No, no, no. It's been on for a while. - Really? - Oh shit. - 'Cause my understanding of Shinkansen is you could only go as far as- - Okay. - I just like Hasbro my first year. - Interior?

- Wooden bullet trains? - Yeah, there's one that has like a really beautiful, oh fuck sake. - Oh, I didn't know that was a Shinkansen. - No, no, no, it's one of them. Maybe it is, maybe I got it wrong. There is one that's really nice. And Kyushu also has the seven.

- It's like this extremely luxury classical. - Nice, they know how to make it fancy. - They make a lot of things fancy. - I was gonna say with how fast the Shinkansen is going, do you want it to be built out of wood? - No, no, sorry, like the inside, they have like a little wood used in it. - Oh, okay. - When I saw wooden Shinkansen, I was like, what? - The friction of the air just like burst into flames. It was just like .

- It's like Shinkansen ghost flying. - It wouldn't. - Shinkansen, that seems like a bad idea. - Just splinters flying everywhere. - Plastic Shinkansen. - Well, I guess it is. - Oh yeah, they got their own little weird one. Look at that. It's got like an interior. - Japan's train culture is just on another level.

- Yeah. - I can see why train- - Clearly that one. - exists, man. - The middle one. - Yeah, I didn't know that was a thing until recently. - The white one? - Train no talking. - Next year. - Yeah, man. - No, no, before it. - They're insane. - Yeah, there's no talking for everything in Japan, but definitely one for trains. - Oh, that's a render, Jesus.

- Well, that's not what it looks like. - Have you guys ridden the, not the business, but the first class in Shinkansen? - Yeah, the grand class? - Grand class. - It's so good. - I've still never done it. - What? - Can never go back. Grand class. - It's so good. - It's so good. - It's like an extra 30 bucks on top of the green. So I guess on normal it'd be like an extra 50 bucks. - Is this only for certain Shinkansens? - Only for ones that go north.

- Oh, okay, okay. - So yeah, so JR East and West are separated and it's only JR East that has the new cars. 'Cause even the green cars. So there's three classes in Shikanto, normal, green, grand, but the one that goes to Osaka only has green and normal. - I see. - And the green one is a lot older and it's not as nice. And then even if you go East or North, the green is really nice as well. A lot more spacious, a lot nicer, but the grand class is amazing. And it's like an extra 30 bucks.

- It's quiet. - And you get unlimited beverages, any beverage you want. You get food, you get snacks, and you get your own personal service. - But it's more sound isolated. - Yes, yes. Way quieter and a fully reclining chair. - I might have to try. - Don't sleep on it. The problem is that most tourists don't do it because you can't use the rail pass on it.

And chinkatsune is already quite expensive. So you add on an extra, so the longer you go, the more it costs. But then you get more value out of it. - It's worth it. - It's definitely worth it. I took it yesterday from Hachinohe, which is a three hour, I get fancy sometimes, three hour bullet train, I think. I think it was Niman for the ticket. And I think the regular is 20,000 yen. And the normal ticket is 12,000.

- Okay. - So I guess it's like 8,000 yen more, which is what, 50 bucks? - Yeah. - But I think the amount of coffee and tea I drank was- - Did they have an espresso machine? That's the important thing. - Oh, they make it all fresh? I don't think it's espresso machine. I guess they pour over, but it's all pretty good. And they give you these chocolates, these little sea salt chocolates. - I didn't get chocolates.

- Well, it's 'cause they don't like you. - Okay. - No kidding, it's okay. - The fruits are good. - You didn't blink when you went to me. - Yeah, you didn't do full blinks. - I did get a snack. - You do get snacks. - Yeah, you get like a little. - I love that. - It's really, really nice. Very relaxing. - What's your like bucket list right now of like places you want to visit next year? - Hokkaido for sure, yeah. - Yeah, it was so good. - I was kind of pissed I missed out last year. 'Cause all of a sudden everyone was in Hokkaido. I think you were in Hokkaido, Chris was in Hokkaido, Martin was like, "I'm going to Hokkaido with my friend." I'm like, "Cool."

- I'll just stay here. - It's just fun in winter. - 'Cause there's no festival or something like that. - Yeah, there's no festival. - I actually didn't like the snow festival much. - I heard it wasn't that good last year. - It was okay. Like the stuff's really impressive, but you kind of see one and you're like, "This is really cool. "It's really impressive." And then you have to like waddle through so many people. - Oh, that's never fun. - And then you're like, "Okay, I got to see another one." Let's waddle again. - Do you think it's more busy because it's been a while since it was open because of COVID?

- Yeah, absolutely. - It was delayed for like two years. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. - And I mean, it's definitely like amazing to look at, but I wouldn't plan a trip to go see it because I just think that you, it's so hard to do anything on that period it's there. All the restaurants are full. All the hotels are really expensive. It's okay, but I feel like Sapporo is just better for the vibes in general. Like go for the city, not for the snow fest. It's such a cool city.

- I mean that area is just so cool in general and there's so much to do. I always thought the snow festival would just be like a nice little extra if I got to experience it. - Even like the countryside of Hokkaido is dope as fuck. It's some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen in Japan. - My favorite ice cream place in the world is in Hokkaido. - My favorite soup curry place in the world is in Hokkaido. - Yeah, me too. - Wow, so many favorites.

- And they're right next to each other. - They're not right next to each other. - A 30 minute drive. - It's like 20, 30 minute drive. - But it's worth it because you eat the amazing soup curry, you're so full, you're like, "God, I'm so full, I wish I had ice cream." Must drive 30 minutes to get ice cream. It's so good. - What's the ice cream? - Totally worth it. - It's this farm and they're open winter and spring. Both times it looks really beautiful. And it's got a beautiful view of Mount Yotei.

And so you can have this amazingly homemade gelato and then have like a coffee with the milk from the farm. - Everything is Hokkaido milk. - And it's beautiful. - You get like processed soft milk. - Please ask me for the photo, I'll send it. - Dude, we've said this on the podcast in the past, Hokkaido has just like perfected food. - God tier food. - Okay. - It's so good. - I'm actually not a fan of their milk. - Well, it's just your crunch gone.

It's just way too fucking heavy. - I don't drink the milk straight. I have it in things like the butter. It's amazing. - Okay, it's amazing. I remember like every staying in like every hotel in Hokkaido, they have like, they give you like the Hokkaido milk. And then for breakfast and I take like two sips and I'm like, I'm not even hungry anymore. This is just like drinking cream. - It's one step away from your- - It's like 400 calories of shit. - Yeah. - That's all I need, baby.

- Definitely recommend Hokkaido. - There's some beautiful, really, really beautiful. - Kyushu is like fun vibes where everyone's really happy and really chill and everyone wants to chat. Hokkaido is more like you go for like an amazing kind of chill vacation. - What are you just giggling about? - We just accidentally. - What are you fucking? - You're locked out here. - This is fucking high school again? - Just shaking toes.

Sorry, you were saying? I'm just not fucking, that's fine, I get it.

- I'll fuck myself, I'll play footsies myself, it's fine. - I can reach down. - Where are you? - I don't know where you, is that you? - Is that you or is that Felix? I don't know. - Who's this am I touching, is it Joey? - It could be Joey. - God damn it, I'm fussy with Joey again. - I take all the love. - You didn't smile at all. - Oh yeah, somehow Japan is the, aside from my home country, the easiest place to have to get away with the name I have. Normally people would just look at my name and just start having a panic attack.

- So Japanese people get it, right? - Yeah, 'cause it's Mani Tapo, which is like all Japanese katakana sounds. - I started booking restaurants under a Japanese name 'cause I'm so tired of like- - Who are you?

- I wanna know which surname you decided to pick. What name, what wee name have you decided to pick? - I just chose Tanaka. Because I realized, I realized, especially when, 'cause sometimes I would call up and,

- When I would say my, everything would be going smoothly. I'd be like, I wanna know, have you ever got an opening? I got this. And then I'd be like, oh, here's my name. They're like, huh? It's just like an awkward five minutes. I'm like, I'm just gonna say this fucking name and then when I turn up, 'cause it doesn't matter. There's no IDing. I just say this. - I just find it fucking hilarious that you book under Mr. Tanaka and then you rock up to the fucking restaurant and you're like, uh. - Oh, they always go like, huh?

- I mean, same with me, so it's fine. - Trust me, I know this sounds bad, but it works. It genuinely works. - That's a good idea. I'll be Tanaka too. - Especially if you call. If you're calling, it definitely helps. 'Cause I feel like I'm nailing this conversation. It's going perfect and I get to the name. I'm like, "Korofun." And they're like, "Huh?"

- For a while I just kept saying Conan, like cool now. - Cool now. - I was like, oh, they'll know that. - Yeah. - Because I'd say Connor and then they'd be like, cool now. And they're like, I don't know, I don't know the fuck. Does anyone know this guy Sam? - Your name is so simple though. - Yeah, I know. I'd be like, cool now. And they're like, cool now.

- Oh, Conan. - I know Conan. - You know, in Japan you have to be so specific when you write down the name for the bank. - Oh yeah. - I had to read out my entire name, middle name, like Felix Arvid Ulf Schellberg over the phone. - No, no, you have to do it, the last name first. - Yeah, exactly. - First name, then middle. - Yeah, it makes no fucking sense, but that was a nightmare to spell out over the phone.

That was the worst thing ever. And of course it was wrong. So they call again and I have to do the whole fucking thing again. And I'm like, it's not my fucking problem. - I was like, can I just email it to you? And they're like, no. - Well, no, that was the worst part. 'Cause one time I had a fraud detection thing call up. I was sending myself money.

and they were like, we need to make sure it's not fraud. I was like, why? Of course. It's like, it says my name. But they do that in UK too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, you know, because he was speaking English to me. It was kind of the point where I was like, I think my Japanese, which is bad, is better than his English. He's like, you know, lately, Russia, bad.

And I was like, what are you- - We always say that, my banker said it too. - No way, really? - Yes, yes. - He was like, "Fraud, must check." I was like, "Russia bad." I was like, "What are you-" - I'm not Russian. - "What are you talking about? I got no Russian." And then he's like, "What's your email?" And I'm reading out this email to him and it's like a nine hour process of me going, "See,

And he's like, "D." And I'm like, "No, no, fuck, Z." And he's like, "What, this?" I'm like, "No." And then we get to the end and then it's .co.uk 'cause I'm UK and he's like, "I don't know what the fuck that is." I put .com. He's like, "No, bastard!" - We got through all of it.

- Some of my official documents on some bills I pay just have misspellings as well. Like my instant and I haven't gotten it changed yet because I've been putting it off even though I definitely should get it changed. - That's very gaijin of you. - But yeah, my- - Do foreign immigrants have this problem when they come to the UK or America? They're like, "Ah, fuck, I misspelled my name from Brian to Brian."

- Do you know what I don't understand? - You're Bob now, Brian's too hard. - Do you know what I don't understand? So on my internet bill, so when I signed up for my internet, I had to spell my name, spelt it again, but also there was this process where I had to scan my ID card and send it to them for them to like, you know, double check that I'm a real person. And I'm like, there is absolutely no way they could fuck this up.

And I get my internet bill back and it still to this day says Grant. I do not know how they fucked that up. - No, they're in on it. - Just like, and I can't be bothered to change it as well 'cause it was like such a, you know when you have to like to change your name, it's just,

a five minute process turned into an hour long. - There's no such thing as a fucking five minute process in Japan. Nothing is a five minute process. It's fucking annoying. - That's the worst part for sure. - So that's, you know, so I think you're fully acclimated now. You just need to do a little bit more. - Yeah, if you can relate to all these. - If I know the pain. - Have you had your bank, like close your bank account as your visa's renewing? Have you had that happen?

- No. - So the bank will send, every time I'm about to renew my visa, they'll be like, "Hey, your visa's coming up." They don't close it, they freeze it, right? So they freeze it. But the thing is, is that the bastards, they freeze it before your visas run out. They'll freeze it like a few days before, which I think is so fucking cruel. Why do they do this? At least free, okay, I can understand if you freeze it when it expires. I'm like, "Okay, I get it. You wanna fucking be strict on this law. I got it, you're right."

But a few days before, come on, man. I still got shit going. I still got time. Why are you punishing me? - Why are you using it until the last minute to get your visa? - I'm not, but sometimes what happens is that, what happened last time is that when I was renewing my visa, the immigration just said, "Hey, we want another month to go over." - We just wanna fuck with you a little bit. - Yeah, I was like, "We want another month." And I was like, "What? But my bank." So I had to go to my bank and explain. And it was like an hour and a half thing where I'm like,

"No, I'm definitely getting it, I promise. "But I have this thing in my passport that says "I'm here for another month. "So can you let me have it?" And they're like, they go back. They always go back and forth with the manager. It's like, "Can you just come over here "and help me with this please? "Come on, man, I'm trying to do stuff today." - The manager cannot talk to mere peasants. I must go through someone. - That's the worst thing I think about Japan and service industry is that whenever you have a problem, you can't just talk to someone who knows the,

- Oh God. - They always have to keep going back and forth with someone who knows. And it's like, why? - So why do they freeze it?

- What's the reason for that? - I think it's, I'm not sure. I think the UK doesn't close it immediately. I think there's a window, I'm not sure. I think it's some kind of bad justification of like, you know, you've lost your visa, we don't want you. - Well, as a great man once said, "Russia bad, must check for fraud." - Yeah, maybe that's what he'll, they'll call me up, I'll be like, "Why is it frozen?" He's like, "Russia bad."

- That's all I gotta say bro. - That's literally what he said. - I just remember being on the train platform waiting and he's in my ear says that and I just burst out laughing. I'm like, "No way he just said that." - That's probably how we sound like in Japanese. - Oh, I sound way worse. - Russia. - Let's see. - What's this? - Yeah, it's- - We get treated with the past crimes than the fraudsters. - Yeah, I do. - For being foreign.

- One thing I wanted to ask, which is something that I guess I've thought about, which is when I eventually decided to be a dad. - No. - Now with trash- - He's thinking about it. - Now with trash taste, now with trash taste, there is just so much content on me out there and it's always going to be out there. And I-

- What are you implying? - No, okay. How do you feel? - What are you actually trying to say? - Okay, okay, Bjorn comes in, he's like, "Dada, what is apology video?" Did dad do bad things? - No! You weren't supposed to! - Why was that the first video you found? Out of the thousands of videos

- I try to block all of it. - I think YouTubers are getting to that point now where I think there are some YouTubers and kids that are getting old enough to have started to become old enough to really watch and understand. - Yeah, you're right. - Because there's never been a,

I think the oldest YouTuber kids I can think of that like were growing up after the YouTube and all that stuff. I think like, I don't know, like Philip DeFranco or something, I don't know. - Also it's just weird to me because you think about, you know, think about your own parents and you have no kind of bearing of what they were like when they were- - No fucking clue, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hear stories and it's almost like alien.

You hear a story from like an aunt or an uncle about how, oh, your parents were like this and you're like this. That's a fake person. - It's actually smart though, 'cause you're preloading, like, you know, those iPad kids. It's like, yeah, my kid's an iPad kid, but he only watches dad. - I've curated a playlist of the greatest hits to babysit my son. It's not weird. He watches only me. - That's pretty good actually. - Would that be?

- You could probably convince your kid long enough to be like, "No, no, this is dad talking to boy." - Also, it's great as well because it's like you get the ad rep for us. It's just circulating in here. - It's going in the fun, son. - My kid is making me so much bang from just watching my playlist. - Also, you can never discipline your kid for playing too many video games ever again 'cause they could just like load up the receipts being like, "I'm done." - I calculated how many hours.

You know what? Okay, okay. Just while, because I'm going to forget if I don't say this. Remember that one time, well, I don't remember, the last podcast I brought up that you sang Take On Me in Sweden. We did it. Three, two, one. We're talking away. I don't know what. I'll just say I'll stay anyway. Today's another day to find you. Shine it on. I'll be coming for you, okay? Take on me.

Take on me!

- Oh, we did it. - Oh my fucking God, I told you not to. - No, it was great. - We did a justice. - It was great. - It was great. - It was great? - Yeah, it was great. - Is it in any cringe compilations? How can I see this? - No, it was in the epic win compilation by Fail Army. - So was mine. So was mine. - No, it wasn't. - It's a fun song to sing. - It wasn't the same 'cause there wasn't like the shot of just the crowd having the thousand islands there.

- They didn't mean dirty. - That was the first ninja moment, you know, when he's like, "I'm not seeing enough movement." - Okay, we don't need to bring up this. Bjarne will not see these videos. That will not be in the curated playlist.

- Dad, he's a cringe. - Whenever Bjorn does something bad and you're like scolding him, he'll just be like, "Don't test me, I have the receipts." - Oh God, I just realized, yeah, it's too much.

- Well, I mean, I think it's fun too. - That'll be really fun, I think. - Yeah, that'll be cool. - And we're doing the vlogs now. Like I didn't have any videos of me as a kid. So I have no idea what it was like. So I think it'll be fun to watch that kind of stuff. - Yeah, for sure. - Yeah, 'cause did you have those like family photo books when you were growing up? - Oh, totally. - Yeah, and you could kind of figure out roughly what was going on, but it feels so cool looking at like just a still of,

- Yeah, we watched those forever. - I have a shitload of like family videos. - Really? I didn't have any. It'd be so cool. I kind of wish that like, I think it'd be so cool for my kid to see me like 20, just doing my thing. - Yeah, I would love to see my parents too. - It's painful to watch. - Yeah, but it'd be cool dude. I'd love to see my dad when he's 20 doing his thing. It'd be so sick. - Like I kind of feel like that secondhand embarrassment of like damn, I was cringe as fuck. Like whenever I look at some of these videos, 'cause I'm just like, nah, I wouldn't,

- I wouldn't say that. - I think you'll, if you have a good relationship with your dad, you'll love your dad and you'll be like, man, it's so fucking cool just seeing my dad. - My parents use it to roast the shit out of me. - There are two types of memory keeping. One to fuck someone over. - Whenever my dad puts on like a family video of me and my sister and like, you know, I'm like four years old, five years old. - That's just cute. - Yeah. - My mom is sitting there being like, oh, look at you, you're so cute. My dad's like, no, look at you, your balls haven't dropped.

- Bro, he's roasting a fucking- - Bro, he's roasting a toddler. - Bro can't fight back, man. - Why is he roasting toddlers? - You sound like a squirrel. - Your dad was 100% the kind of dad that when you all started doing like sports, he was like, "Fucking Joey, fuck him, why are you winning shit?" - Yeah, it's like, "You lost, that's cringe."

- That's the dad I strive to be. - The one family video I remember was like my dad trying to, like my dad taking me to, my parents taking me to the playground. And my mom just lets me play around and stuff. And my dad's like the fucking grind set guy. He's like, "I get on the monkey bars and I give up halfway." And he's like, "Go on it again."

- Really? - He's like, "Son, we don't quit in this house." - "Son, go on in again. Don't quit halfway through." And I go on in again, give up, and he's like, "No, I'm gonna pick you up, and you're gonna learn how to do these monkey bars." - Oh, really? - Yeah. - That's cute. That's awesome. - Yeah. - Do you find that helpful? Too young to say? - I was too young, okay, but- - I just mean in general. I'm trying to understand what's the good parenting. - How do you do it? - Psychomaniac me, please.

I feel like letting them learn a little bit on their own is a good way because I remember one of the reasons why I... How old were you guys when you learned how to ride a bike? I was...

- Six. - I just unlocked a memory. I remember being in my driveway and doing it when I was like really young. - I feel like I taught myself, I don't remember. - Oh shit, did you ever have like the training wheel phase? - Oh, I did have, yeah, of course, yeah. - Fucking tore it up. - Yeah, so like when my dad tried to teach me how to ride a bike, he just completely skipped the training wheel stage. He was just like, get good. - Get good, son. - Riding a bike is a mindset.

It was like, son, you just got to grind it out. If you fall over, don't worry, just get up and just- - Stop being a fucking pussy. - Just grind it out. - Take the wheels off. - I love when the parent goes with the kid, right? So they're holding it in case they're like- - Yeah, my dad used to like hold the back of the bike and then he'd be like, all right, I'm gonna let go. And I'm like, dad, please don't.

- And when you do it anyway, and then yeah, I'd get hurt. - You fall and then you get hurt, you cry, you try again and then eventually you do it. - Yeah. - I think that's just Asian dads. - I think that's just an Asian dad. - I think my parents were just like, please stop. 'Cause I just kept doing dumb shit. I used to like, you know, I would see a bump and I'm like, I'm gonna jump.

- Nah, I was too much of a pussy to do stuff like that. - I just had no sense of fear as a kid. And then I got it when I fell really badly one time when I was like 15. - Everyone's gonna learn somehow. - I was like, oh fuck, this is scary. - You fucked around and found out. - This is fucking scary. Like it really fucking hurt. I was like Christ.

- Yeah, that's how all those Red Bull fucking athlete people become those crazy people. They just don't get hurt for long enough of a time until they're an adult and then they can't learn it now. They're like, all right, I'll break my arm. - Or they're like, oh, well it didn't kill me. So I guess I'll do it again. - Yeah, those Red Bull sponsorships pay too good. I can't turn back now. I gotta do the free running championship in the sling. - Sometimes I see how far the adrenaline junkies go and I'm like, how? - I kind of get it.

- You have a little bit of that. - You have a little bit of that, but there's a certain moment where- - Like bungee jumping, I would have loved to do that all day. That was so fun. - Really? Hell no, I would never do that. - Would you do like, I don't know what the actual name is, but the one where you just jump off a fucking cliff with a- - Freediving? - Oh, with a paragliding? - Oh, that. That just seems like instant death. - Oh, paragliding, I really want it. I really wanna do that. - My intrusive thoughts would take over. - Yeah, but you'd have a guy who steers it for you.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

- What I've always wanted to know is how do you learn how to do something like this? Because presumably it's an activity if you fuck up once. - It's like skydiving, right? You have to do X amount of hours, like tandem with a professional and like really like learn how to do it. You have to do a lot of hours. Like a lot of these jobs, like cave diving requires hundreds of hours of experience. That's how a lot of them manage. So it's just, you just have to be a hobby and do it with an instructor a lot. Yeah, it's really, really, you have to really, really be dedicated to it.

But obviously it pays pretty well when you do it, when you do get certified or whatever, 'cause no one else is fucking doing it. - I think the most extreme thing I would attempt to learn or attempt to do is scuba diving. - I really wanna go scuba diving. - Yeah, but that's not- - It's super dangerous. - It's pretty fucking dangerous. - It depends how deep you go, but- - How deep are we talking?

- Even though I'm like 40 meters is really, really light. - That doesn't sound much. - 40 meters is so much. That's so deep. - At which stand up? - At which point does sunlight stop penetrating? - It's like five meters.

- Yes. - Well, even like free diving without- - Okay, first of all, with scuba diving at like 40 meters, you have to start decompressing. And that's the scary part. You just sit there in the water for like an hour. - Yeah. - You can't just tank it. - People do and they die. - That's beta shit. - Just kill a shoe in it.

- I'll Google the, while you Google that, I'll Google the other. - 'Cause I've done in the Philippines, I did the thing where like you put on that like water helmet. - Oh, I saw that on your vlog. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then you go down, that was 10 meters. - Oh, okay. - And that was a lot on your body. - Oh, really? - And it doesn't feel like any, like you look up and it's like, oh, I'm not even that far from the surface. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But you just, you feel that pressure as you're going down. Like your body just gets so heavy. And I'm like, I can't imagine going double that.

- At the first 10 meters, water already absorbs more than 50% of visible lights. That's at 10 meters. - Depths below a thousand meters receive no light from the surface whatsoever. - You said 40 for the record. - Yeah, we said 40. - Fucking idiots. - I'm saying at 40 meters, I think it's already really fucking dark. - Yeah, it gets in the water, but there's so much shit in the water, like dirt and stuff, that you're not gonna be able to see anything. - I don't wanna scuba there.

- Well, yeah, 'cause it's like the amount of just the amount, it's not even the sunlight thing or anything. It's just the amount of pressure on your body at 40 meters is so much for your body that if you immediately like just come up to the surface, you get fucked off. - This seems like the kind of thing I have no knowledge of and that's why I'm just like, that seems silly. - Just float. - Just hold your breath.

- Just swim up. - Just swim up. - I'm trying to find how long you'd have to wait.

I don't know how you'd be waiting, which is the scariest part. Cause you're like, what if something goes wrong and you know, you need to decompress. - It says, according to some sources, the theoretical limit of human body pressure underwater is a thousand meters, which is a hundred atmospheres of pressure. - That's the theoretical limit. - That's the theoretical limit. - People dive to like a hundred something. - Yeah. - Which is crazy. - And that's still insane. - Yeah, well the reason why I think,

you can dive off of breath way deeper and come back up no issues than you can if you use the tank. 'Cause the tank uses different- - Oh, is that why? - It uses like a nitrogen mix, not nitrogen. - 60 meters or something. - I don't know, what's in a scuba diving tank? It's like a mix between, it's a very concentrated thing that helps

- Decompress you, not decompress you, like keep your head not hurting while you're diving. - 79% nitrogen, 21% oxygen. - Yeah, it's nitrogen, okay, I was right. And so then when you're coming up, you'd have like bubbles in your blood otherwise if you come too fast. - Oh, right, yeah. - They fuck you. - Yeah, it's really fucking scary. - Your blood boils. - What's the most hardcore you would do, Aaron? - Fuck a sheep.

- I would do like- - That's just in your bloodline. - You wanna go skydiving, right? - I wanna do skydiving. - Let's do skydiving. - I could do like jumping off stuff at a-

- You wanna do bungee jumping? - Yeah, I would do jumping. - I feel like I judged you, Joey, but yeah, I'm not doing anything. - Do you wanna do bungee jumping? - No. - Dude, it's so fun. - I don't care. I've seen the videos. - I wouldn't do bungee jumping, but I would do skydiving. - Wait, what? - I'm not skydiving, fuck that. - Because to me, my whole thing of it is I am more scared of the awkward height than I am the really, really high heights.

- You know what I mean? - I kinda, yeah, I kinda understand. - Like I'm okay, like when people are like afraid of heights, right? Like there's lots of different levels I feel. Like I'm not afraid going on like an airplane, even though you're a lot higher, right? But I get the most nervous. The most nervous I get with heights is when you're like- - Looking over a- - Looking over like a 10 story building. - Dude, it's so fun though. - That's, I get, and like,

- Do you get that voice in your head that say that would be cool to jump? - No, in my head. - Is that just me? - No, in my head. - In my head I'm just like, I better step away before someone pushes me over. - That's what's so good about bungee jumping is that you get that voice and you're like, let's do it. And then you get like, you get this beautiful moment where for about a second, you were just speeding up weightlessness and there's not, you feel nothing but just,

fucking the ground rushing towards you. It's so cool. - That sounds terrible. - No, it's amazing. It's such a rush. - Yeah, but like- - I've had nightmares like that.

- It's so fun. And then you get the fun part of the bungee where you get to fly. - It's just a scene from Inception, right? That's how you get the kick. - You just get jolted away. - To me, skydiving is way less scary than bungee jumping. - I think it's actually, I think skydiving is also safer than bungee jumping. - I would- - I'm pretty sure there's more deaths in bungee jumping. - I think I've heard about this as well.

a lot of the places where you can bungee jump. - Are not regulated. - They're not the best regulation. - They're not super well regulated. - They're like rocky ravines. - Well, it's kind of like some dude and his cousin who bought a bungee cord and were like, let's do it. - Yeah. - I would trust Japan with bungee jumping. - Yeah, Japan is the one place I was like, I'll definitely do bungee jumping here. - I wouldn't trust any other. - But also like another big thing is that, you know,

- Okay, worst case scenario, something goes wrong in skydiving versus something goes wrong in bungee jumping. I feel like- - They're both bad, they're both fucked. - They're both bad, but I feel like at the height you're jumping at skydiving, you're just like, it's just instant death. - Actually, no, it's not. - No, yeah. - Is it not? - No, because terminal velocity. So there's a certain point you reach the max speed you could go, which is like, I think it's, how many stories is it? Can you go what is max velocity for falling off a building? I think it's like,

20 stories or something. So it's like this, you jumping from like 50,000, the same for your body landing is jumping from like, we'll find out now. - And if you're lining trees,

- All right, if you land in trees, yeah, but. - That's an anime moment. - Assuming like open field. - Were you just gonna give up? - Yeah, yeah. I feel less stressed knowing that I can do nothing to save myself. Whereas if I'm like. - You gotta try. - If I'm jumping off a cliff, I'm like, well, it's gonna be like the worst pain in my life, but let's just break my legs and most of my back. - Someone says, some dude on a forum says, "You'd reach terminal velocity "in about four and a half seconds of falling."

- That's pretty quick. - Yeah, so four and a half seconds. - Four and a half seconds? - Let's say that guy's right, which you might not be. - But it's still pretty fast. - Yeah, but you're saying that's the difference. - 120 miles an hour, it says. - Yeah, so that's like this, you jumping from a big building would have the same effect on your body when you land as jumping from a 50,000,

- Right, that makes sense. - So Garnt, you would just find like concrete to fall on or something? You'd be like, I just want this over with. - Just like make it quick. - Isn't your best bet trees? - What if there was a pool right next to it? Would you not land in the pool? - No, no, you'd die if you hit the pool. - Oh shit. - 'Cause the surface tension of the water. - Where should you land then? - You should land on the ground and spread out. - Take the guarantee fall damage death. - Is that like the elevator thing where you just have to lay down? - Yeah, because all the force is being distributed across your body.

- I heard you're supposed to land in trees. That's all I know. - I think trees is good 'cause you have a chance of like hitting a bunch and stumbling before you land. - If you're in like- - Do you or is that just in cartoons?

- Well, I think if you can, any way you can kind of kill the speed before you land is good. Even if it hurts a fuck ton. Well, cause like someone, what was it? That woman in the gorilla suit. - People have survived. - She survived with the gorilla suit when her parachute didn't. I'm not kidding. Google this. Gorilla suit saves skydiver. Type that in. - That's so close. - She was wearing, it was a charity skydiving event, I believe. And she jumps out with this gorilla suit. I think. - Colorado's one arm skydiver. - And falls two miles.

- I think it was. - Well, people do live. By going, you were just following the- - It's same with like airplanes. Like people who grab onto like debris or something. It really increases your chances massively of surviving. - Okay, but here's the thing, hypothetical situation. Do you try to survive in that situation? - Yes! - Or do you just- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Am I the only one who was just like, "I guess my time has come." - You're too content with dying.

- You just wanna die, Garnt. It sounds like you wanna die. - If you're in like a plane crash, do you like just go to the brace position and think- - Brace position all the way. - If there's a one shot chance I can survive, awesome. I'll take it. - I'm taking that chance. - Are you just gonna look around at everyone doing the brace and you're like, "What a fucking badass." - I'll be like, "Guys, well, it's been a good run."

- Let me just say, that's the only time. I've never smoked like cigarettes, but the one time I think I would smoke a cigarette is if I know I'm about to die. All right, well fuck it. - Who's got a wine? - Did you feel like an appropriate response to dying?

- I had a moment where I was trying to find like what to do in all these like hypothetical scenarios. And it was so irritating trying to find the answers. - 'Cause it's like, yeah, you're pretty fucked. 'Cause even if you survive a plane crash, right? Odds are you're flying over the ocean. - Yes. - Which makes it immediately fucking impossible difficulty. - Yeah, you're just done. - And then the question is in my head, I'm like, do I have it in me to wanna survive

once I survive this crash. - That's what I'm saying. - Do I wanna go through all people trying to find me? Do I wanna have to survive? This sounds like a fucking ball ache. This just sounds like too much work. I'd rather die instantly. Actually, you know what? I'm on God's side now. Fuck this. - Damn, right? - It's just a fucking hassle, isn't it? - Yeah. - I remember there was one where it's like- - I'll just reset the server. - If you fall through ice. I was like, okay, what do I do?

- Like an ice lake? - You walk in an ice lake, you fall in, what do you do? They're like, "Oh, grab your ice picks to pull yourself up." I'm like, if I clearly don't have those in this scenario. - Get your go-go fuck out machine and get the fuck out of there. I think you just would grab both sides if you can, hopefully. - Well, you slide out.

- Yeah, get a leg in, I don't know. What do you do, just cry? - I think he just fucked at that point. - Have you seen that video of the guy who's trying to swim under the ice to the other side? - Oh, that one? - The guy can't find it. And his friends are like slamming the top of it, like, "Here, you fucking ." - That is anxiety.

- I feel like there are some life or death situations that, you know, I feel I could survive. - Where do you draw the line then? - Name a life or death situation you survive. - Even though it's said like science says I won't, I feel like I could just survive by just the ego of my own way of thinking. - Like what? Give me a scenario. - Jumping off a bridge, right?

- Like what bridge? Like Golden Gate Bridge? - Like Golden Gate Bridge. - You survive. No, you don't survive. - I feel like, you know what? Everyone tells me surface tension is a thing, but I feel like- - It's like concrete. - Just wiggle your legs right before it. - Yeah, just like if I have, you know, just like make yourself into like a fucking pencil or something. I feel like I do. - I get it, I get it. - You would break your arms or legs at best. - That's what science says. Who would trust science?

- To me water goes splash. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - Some people believe in the, I think it's a myth, but they throw like a rock or something. - To break the surface. - But I think it's a myth. - I think that was proven in Mythbusters. - It sounds like a Mythbusters episode. - But I saw this guy who recently broke the highest free fall into water record. Can you give me all this? - Easy there. - It's like type in world record free fall into water.

- It should come up. - Have you ever had this thought where if you were in like a elevator that drops, if you just jump at the last moment. - Yeah, obviously that's the only logical thing to do. - Yeah, right? You definitely survived that, right? - You're supposed to lay down. That's what I learned. But that's not fun. I'd rather just try jumping. - Jesus.

- If it's frame perfect, I think. - I think it was. - You can get away with it. - It's a skill issue really. - Has to be angle perfect and frame perfect. No one's just achieved it yet. - Oh yeah, four days ago. - You have to force buffer us. - 450 miles per hour. - I'll put it in the group. - You just gotta jump higher than that. - Yeah, exactly. - Or like stronger. - I'll put it in the group so you can show the guys.

- What is this, your Googling corner? - This is the guy, look at this, look at this free fall jump. I wanna see, Garnt, do you reckon you survived this? - All right. - Send it to Kai. I don't know how you get it on the PC. - I was a Norwegian.

- Yeah, of course it's fucking Norwegian. - Of course it's Norwegian. - It's 'cause they have nothing to do. - What do the Swedes do? - What do they do? - We play video games. - Move to Japan, play video games, leave Sweden. - That's why there's so many Swedes online. There's nothing else to do actually. - That's true. - We had the same problem. - Whenever I played COD back in the day, there was always a Norwegian or Scandinavian person that was just so good at it and you're like, fuck you. - There's nothing else to do. - I don't know how the fuck you got on that tangent,

- Basically, okay Garnt, you're not fucking surviving. - No, I know I'm not, but I feel like I could. - You feel like you could. - Actually, you know what? I think I could. - What the fuck is this dumb idea spreading? - Well, that's "Trash Taste." Make sure your kid does not watch "Trash Taste." - Joey, what are you surviving? - Kangaroo attack. - What is the situation someone says is dangerous, but you're like, "I think I could come out of this." - Bear attack.

- A bear attack? - I think if a bear is right in front of me, I think I'd get out of it. I don't think I'd die. - Really? - No, you think that. - I don't know if the bear thinks that. I think that. - See, one thing I have to understand about Connor is that he's very like, he has a lot of confidence in things. - I've noticed that. - I'm gonna scream at this motherfucking bear until he leaves me alone. - Connor's like, "Do you know where there's different types of bears?" - Bro, I scream at all of them.

Well, then you're danged. I win. Conor's the top. No, I win. No, I win. No, I win.

- Connor's the motherfucker in a zombie apocalypse who's like, "I'll begin the army." Goes out and immediately dies. - Guys, I got bit, is it bad? - I killed a few zombies though. - My Katie's still good. - I'll be fine, nah, I'd win, I'd win. - I ran so you could all walk. - Yeah, would you survive the zombie apocalypse?

- Survive the zombie apocalypse? - We've discussed this so many times. - Oh really? - The conclusion we came to. - What position would you be in the zombie apocalypse? Like what kind? - What would you do? - What would the stereotype, what stereotype would you fall under? - I'll just be the one, 'cause if I learn anything from zombie movies or whatever, it's just like, oh, the real danger was the other people on the line.

- And it's like, yeah, I'm just stay away from other people, man. So you'd be like the lone wolf. - You wanna talk to people, you need to- - No. - Okay. - Well, we have to stick together, why? - Because what if you- - I have all the provisions. - Okay, oh no. - I have all the first aid kits. - What is this, an OC where you have everything you ever need and then- - In my head, have it all.

- When you play too much Dead Rising. - Odds are you got some fucking poopy diapers and some cans of food. You got nothing. You're in Japan. We got no weapons, we're done. - I'll throw my shit at the zombies. That'll stop them. - Oh God. - I'm an inconvenience to zombies. Oh, Jesus. - I have the samurai sword sliding through. - Where are you getting that? - Do you own a samurai sword? - I will not disclose.

- You definitely do. - We'll see what happens. - He's already prepping. - Don't test me. - All right, shit. - Would that be a weapon of choice, samurai sword? - In Japan, yeah, that's the dream. - He follows the code of Bushido. - I'll kill the zombies. - Finally. - He just chops them, cleans the blood. - It's like finally an excuse to pull this out.

I can live out my weeb dream. You know that would happen like around here. Oh yeah. If it breaks out in Japan I'd be so sick. Yeah. In prime location. What do you mean

- What do you mean prime location? For what? - For samurai. - For samurai? - Oh my God. - Zombies. - Nothing beats killing zombies under the cherry blossoms, I'll tell you that fellas. - Double points for the aesthetics. - Oh my Lord. - Everything's better in Japan. - Zombie apocalypse, zombie apocalypse in Japan. Okay.

- They always do it in games, come on. You know what I mean. - Okay, there's gotta be something that's worse than Japan. - Felix is the type of guy to chop down a zombie and then do the . - Yeah, yeah.

- What were you saying, sir? - There's gotta be something that is not better in Japan. Or is there? - Banks. - Yeah, banks. Objectively. - I guess zombie apocalypse fixes all the bad things about Japan. Work-life balance, gone. Town hall, banks, gone. All bad things. So I guess maybe a zombie apocalypse is what we need. - Then we know for real. - Then we'll really know if Japan is truly the best. - That is true, that is true.

- I'm trying to think, is there any other like famous apocalypse types out there? Or is it only just like zombie apocalypse? - I guess like nuclear maybe or meteor.

- Meteor, we're done. - None of them are like fun to survive. - There's no chance in any of those. - There's no chance. - What about like a long winter? Like a winter that never ends. - Ooh. - That'd be fun. - That's not fun. - I feel like even just COVID was bad enough. I'm like, fuck, there's no toilet. - If everywhere was like blizzarding, we'd be done.

everyone would die very quickly. - You think so in Japan? - Yeah, because like, I don't think you, if it was constantly blizzarding, I don't think you'd be able to keep the roads clean. - Yeah, but I feel like Japan- - That's the big issue. - Yeah, because how can you transport food? - How can you grow food? - Well that too, but we have a lot of canned food in the last while. - Japan will figure it out. - Japan's like, "All right guys, everyone has to take turns sacrificing their body for capitalism."

- You can buy this bag of rice for two cup ramen. Like that'll be the new currency. - That's prison. You know prison, cup ramen is currency in prisons, right? - Yeah. - So I guess Japan will become prison. - We'll be rich. - Yes. - We'll finally be the wall cow. - Another better thing. - Oh my Lord. - If a meteor strikes, would we all die? - Yeah. - Yeah. - But surely some people live. - Well, it depends on the size of the meteor. - People have bunkers and shit, right? - Yeah, people in bunkers would live.

- Okay, there you go. - No, but the meteor- - It depends where it hit. If it direct hit you- - No, I get that, but I just mean like- - Okay, let's say where- - Is all humanity gone? - No, no, no. I think it's really hard to get rid of all of humanity. - That's what I mean. - To wipe out most of humanity is technically easy, but to wipe out all of humanity will take a lot of effort because some way, somehow, some people can survive. - We are like cockroaches. - Yeah. - Well, I'm not gonna die.

- What makes you say that? - Well, it seems like you guys are giving up, so I'll take the opportunity to not die. - Our life force doesn't go into you, Felix. That's not how it works. - I don't know, maybe it is.

- You said some people would live and you all gave up. So I'll give up. - I didn't give up. I said, we died because of fucking media. - It sounds like giving up. - I'm dead because a giant space. - I'll be prepared. - Okay. Yeah. That's a question. Would you try and survive like during that kind of a bomb? - Yeah, it'd be fun.

- I would describe it as fun. - Okay, I would honestly relish at the chance that my only fucking thing I have to worry about is you getting food and water. It's kinda nice. - Yeah, but- - That's all I gotta do.

I don't gotta do taxes. I don't gotta worry about like, am I late for a meeting? Like I just, all I have to do is just be like, get food, get water, good. - I actually thought about that. 'Cause you ever had those weeks where it's like too much paperwork, too much taxes, too much bullshit. - Like let's just go to the woods. - Can I just like go to prison so I'm free from all this? - That's 'cause you're Swedish, that's not bad.

- Swedish prisons are just different. - They're just hotels. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the Swedish prison outlook, that's not fair. - I'm gonna just steal this brain real quick to get a vacation. - The Japanese prison, they make you walk like eight hours a day. - Yeah. - The man should drop everything you're doing and just build a cabin in the woods. - Cabin in the woods would be hype. - That would be hype. - Cabin in the woods would be sick. - Yeah. - I would love that.

- I don't know, I feel like it depends on how bad the apocalypse is. If it's not fun, then I'm like, what's the point of surviving? - Name a fun apocalypse. - You're checking the vibe first. - Yeah, checking the vibe first. - If I'm like in a zombie apocalypse and I'm like, oh, I'm fucking kidding my zombie parents or zombie friends, I'm like, nah. - Do you reckon there's like a convention for bunkers? In a bunker? - There definitely is. - And then there's just a bunch of like bunker people who survive and they're like, yeah, just say it. - Apocalypse con?

- Yeah, they might be. - They're probably in Nevada there. - That'd be lame. I wouldn't want to be bunker boy. - Where would you be? In the top of the tree or something? - Yeah. - Top of a tree? - He said the tree, I just said yes. - You didn't have to. - This is why you won't survive. You're listening like a sheep. You're not thinking for yourself.

- What would be the prime location? - Australia. - Japan, we established this. Come on, the cherry blossom and the samurai sword. - I would sit patiently. - What does the cherry blossom add to your survival? - It's static. - It just makes you feel. - I would sit patiently at the bottom of a sakura tree with my katana in my hand waiting for my next victim. - An enemy comes up behind you. Oh, I see. - They were already dead before I draw my sword.

- I feel like life would be greatly improved if we did have that aura bullshit. They have an anime like, ah, I sensed your aura.

- What? - You know in anime when they're like, "Oh, I can-" - Oh yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I feel like life would be so much cooler if we all had aura. - I feel like we do have aura though. - We don't fucking have aura, Garnt. - People have aura. - We have vibes. Like aura, like you walk in a building- - What's the difference? - Like I can tell your strength level, but then when you walk into a building, I'm like, "Ah, a worthy opponent has stepped into this building." - Bro, I sat next to Ladybeard for two hours. People definitely have fucking aura. - That's not aura, that's volume. That was loud.

- It's an auditory aura. - Like a tangible aura that we can feel and look at and measure. - This is what you want out of all things? - Well, have you ever felt that when like, say like someone who's like really, really famous is in the same room as you? - No, it's 'cause they're always weaker than mine.

- So you do believe in the aura? - Nah, but if I did though, mine would be bigger. - Or if someone like you really respect or like really, really like for instance is like- - But that's your brain doing funny little tricks on yourself. - Is that not what the fucking aura is? - No, aura, I'm talking about a tangible real thing. - Oh, like something you can see? - No, no, no, I guess maybe we could see it. I don't know, but like you can like actually like someone walks behind you, like anime, you're like, ah, yeah, I sense him. His power has become my vicinity.

- You just want anime to be real. - Yeah. - I guess what I'm asking. Is it too hard to ask? Like, I just want Nen. - I feel like other people already in my space too much. All right? I don't want no Orion. - You guys have been footsie in the whole fucking episode. What are you talking about? - Well, that's love. - That's a different type of Orion. - Oh, Christ.

- I heard you've been watching the new Squid Game that's come out as well. - Will that be relevant by the time the episode comes out? - I don't think it's relevant. - It's not even relevant now. - Everyone wrote it off 'cause it was like the first episode was so shit and wish it was, it was really bad. - Yeah. - Well, I think it's just 'cause the conversation has changed.

It was like, you know, back in the day, game shows used to be about like, I'll take my family on vacation. I'll buy them the car they want. Now it's like, I'm in like $50,000 in debt and I just want to pay rent. And so it's kind of like the dynamic of game shows have shifted from being like an extra amount of money for people to spend. - Wait, what game shows with the car?

- Well, you know, like back in the, when you were a kid, right? You watch a game show and they'd be like, what are you gonna spend the money on? It's like, we're all gonna go on vacation. - Yeah, like real fortune or like jeopardy. - Oh, I'm gonna get a new car, the new, you know, and now it's kind of shifted from, I have $50,000 in medical debt. - I think that's society talking.

- Really? - Yeah. - You think- - Wasn't the prizes all shit too? - No, there used to be some pretty fucking good prizes back in the day. - I feel like I've seen compilations of people winning shit and they're just like, "Wow, thank you." - Well, some game shows, but there's always like, who wants to be a millionaire? - That's a skill issue. - You know, like who wants to be a millionaire? That's been going on for decades. - Yeah, I mean, I feel like,

it's not that black and white. I feel like it's gotten worse, but I mean, back in the day, I remember most of the time people just wanted to pay off their mortgage whenever they'd win game shows. Maybe this is just my biased like memory, but that's what I remember. - Yeah. - But I guess that people don't even,

a lot of people can't even afford to have mortgages nowadays. - Yeah, that's it. - It's just a chain. I think it's not all of it, but it's definitely some of it. And then on top of that, it's like, hey, it's the opposite of what the message of Squid Game was. - Yeah. - But is it fun? - Oh yeah, you're right. - It's completely opposite. - But is it fun?

- Yeah, I liked it. - I was meaning to watch it so I could form an accurate opinion on it. - But if you like trash TV, yeah, I guess. - I fucking love trash TV. - Yeah, you are a trash TV connoisseur. - Like "Survivor." I love "Survivor," even though it's like a terrible show. It's just fun. - Well, what's yours and Marzia's favorite trash TV show again? - No, no, we're not talking about that. - I'm gonna tell him. They like watching "Selling Sunset." - That's such a shit show.

- The thing is like when you're a parent, you have no brain capacity after 9:00 or 8:00 PM. I just need to watch a dumb shit on Netflix. It's like, I don't care, whatever. - I get it. - Well, the UK has like 15 of those shows all with like different- - Yeah, UK's really good at making those shows. - They love them. One of the most popular shows on all the fucking time was, it was like "Home or Away." And it's basically like,

someone would be like, "I wanna live in Australia, "but I don't know if it's right for me." And then they would show them two houses. They'd be like, "Look at this fucking amazing house in Australia "for this much money." - Oh yes, I've seen this. It was in Spain too, yeah. - In Spain, they had a series for Australia, they had a series for Spain, and they had the whole thing and it was like, it was always better abroad. They were like, "I just like the UK, innit? "It's quite nice." - Really? - Yeah, I remember that. - They never picked it. - A lot of the time they didn't pick Australia, 'cause it was just daunting, I imagine. - Yeah, probably. - It's like 14 hours away. - Yeah. - And it's like, there's nothing there. - Especially for a British person.

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, you know, I have no threats whatsoever when it comes to like animals or like natural disasters or anything like that. And then I'm going into hardcore Minecraft essentially. - True. - What was the show?

- In UK you have the one where they show a body part. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, this blows Americans minds when you show it to them. - It still blows my mind as well. 'Cause when I was last in the UK, I just forgot that it existed and I turned on channel four and it was just on. - Good old UK with that trash TV. - I think it's actually, it's such an amazing idea 'cause it like almost desexualized the human body in a way. - Yeah, totally. - But whilst still definitely

- Definitely using sexual, like sexualizing the body to their advantage because everyone is so normal and not presented in the way that is sexy. That it's like, I don't find any of this attractive. - It's like an initial hook of like, oh, you get to see a bunch of naked people on TV. And you're like, oh, that's clearly just trying to, you know, use sex to sell. And then you, when you start watching it, you're just like, yes, you know, that critique on her, that woman's ass is pretty valid.

- His left nut is a little bigger. - It's really bizarre 'cause you go from watching like, if you've ever watched like, you know, you see porn and then you watch this, you're like, it's, they're showing the same bodies, but it's entirely, entirely different. And you walk away feeling very different things from each one. - But that's how they get past the show of showing naked people. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's educational. - It's science-y things. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I think it just stopped airing.

- Oh, did it? - It just got canceled, yeah. - Rest in peace. I didn't even like the show. I just think it's hilarious. - I mean, it was certainly amazing to show American people and they were like, "What the fuck? This is on TV?" - It was awesome. - Yeah, UK has the best trash. I'm trying to think what else it is. - They have some really good trashy TV shows. I mean, "Come Down With Me" is also a classic from- - That's not trash TV. That's just- - That's trash. - That's golden standard. - That's gold standard. - You think it's boring? No, you're wrong.

- So we got Greg's and now you don't like come down with me? - You didn't fucking live in the UK. - I feel like people like to watch it because they think like, oh, I would make it so well. - You like watching it 'cause you like seeing people care so much about something so dumb. - Oh really? - Yeah, I think like you watch people who like, they get really into it and they're like, I'm gonna fucking vote Sarah down two points. - Oh, we did actually get into it and I remember. - Okay, okay, okay.

- It is actually pretty good. - Yeah. - We did watch one season. - All right, UK citizenship given back. - Oh, which is the one where they have to get married too. - Oh, don't tell the bride. - Don't tell the bride. - No, no, no.

- Is it that one? It's the one where, oh, the guy plans to wedding. - Yeah, don't tell him. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Which is clearly so fake, but it's still hilarious. - He'd be like, "I think my wedding should be a fucking Ewok thing." So I've spent, I've spent, basically they would have to spend 10,000 pounds on a wedding without the bride knowing anything. - My favorite episode of that was like, the dude was like, "I have a brilliant idea. I'm gonna do it on a pig farm."

- Oh yes, I remember this one. I watched all of this. - And the girl was just mortified. She was like, "I'm- - What do you expect?" And the dude's standing there like, "I thought it was a good idea." - Fucking idiot. - I saw one where a dude decided to- - It's definitely fake. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, a dude decided to put his wedding in a cave.

- He didn't know that the mother of the bride had a fear of caves. So the mother of the bride couldn't attend to her daughters waiting outside the cave. - The producers were fucking riding heat with that one. They knew what they were doing. - What was the shittiest wedding? - I mean, pick one that's pretty shit. There's also a few that were just like disasters, like nothing went right. I'm in fucking Primark buying the groomsmen suits.

- Was there any wedding in that show where it went right? - Yeah, there's a few. - Yeah, there's quite a few where. - Yeah, some of them are happy, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, you know, some of them it turned out they really loved each other and even though a lot of things went wrong on the day, just like everything just- - Well, it's always the message of the show, it's like, "Feel good." - It's, "Still feel good." - I wonder if some of them got like actual marriages afterwards or if that was their real marriage, I wonder. - Yeah, I don't know. - They get a free wedding. - Yeah, you do get a free wedding.

- I'll play your wedding. - This wedding is sponsored by. - Or has that just been a huge uptake of just reality cooking shows as well?

'Cause every time on my Netflix, they're- - They're so bad. - It's so easy to film and produce a cooking show. You don't have to get anything crazy. You just get a bunch of chefs and get a bunch of kitchens and you're done. - I'm just like kitchen nightmare, like it peaked with kitchen nightmares and nothing has even come close to touching.

- Just not my style. - Has come close to touching that. - "Iron Chef." - "Iron Chef" is go-to. - I watched a few episodes recently. It was really fun. - Oh yeah? - It's just great show, what a great show. - I haven't seen it, what is it? - It's the old Japanese kind of, you know, I think- - It's like "Cooking Battle Royale." - They would have two teams battle each other with like, and there'd be an ingredient of the day. - And it would usually be like the challenger chef would like step in and then "Iron Chef" would have like, there'd be like three different chefs with three different cuisines and the challenger chef

the challenger chef would have to go up against the professional chef. - Oh, they'd give him one. - It doesn't sound good at all. - No, no, but then, imagine it's all in Japanese, right? So then they're dubbing over the Japanese. The dub's pretty good. - The dub is the best. - They mimic all of the Japanese mannerisms in the dub. It's so good. You go like, "Hashimoto-san, Hashimoto-san, "what does this mean?" He's like, "Well, actually, I'm glad you asked, "Kirimoto-san, this is how we do this."

like there's like, they build storylines. So there was like this one, I watched one recently, there was a storyline where he beat the apprentice and then the whole squad came, like 50 of this like clan from this family. He was like, no, this won't do. Beat my better apprentice. Beats the better apprentice. Like, no, no, no. Beat the vice president of the clan. Beats him. He's like, all right, well, I'll do it. Next episode, you'll face the boss. And it's just like-

- What is this Pokemon ass writing? But it's so fun, it's so goofy. - I'll check it out. - That is literally Shokugeki. - Yeah, it's literally Shokugeki but good. - Yeah, it's really good. - What is some good Japanese reality TV?

- There's a fair few that are pretty good. There's one at New Year's that I recommend watching. - Oh, the "Can't Laugh" one? - The "Can't Laugh" one and also they do this, I think they were the first to do it. They're like literally, they get like a bunch of panels and I guess GACT is always on it. - Yeah. - The pro. - Oh, Kakuzuki? - Yeah, where they do this thing where every year they'll give them like two things or three things and they'll be like, "Which one is the expensive and cheap one?" - Okay, that's good. - So they'll give you two wines, you taste them and everyone has to pick and then,

- Of course Gacked, I think it's rigged a little bit. - It might be a little bit rigged. - But Gacked always gets everything right. - Oh really? - Yeah. - 'Cause he's Gacked. - All right, well that is rigged. - And it's to say like, you're like the immaculate taste of a human being. You have the perfect, most refined taste. They'll do a bit where they'll be like, they'll play the same piece on like a $10,000 violin and a $10 violin. They'll be like, which one's the expensive one? - Yeah. - How would you, okay.

- Okay. - Yeah, we're just guessing. But what's really funny is that like at the start of the show, everyone starts off as like, they have this like subtitle, which is like, you're an A grade celebrity because you're just like so refined. And every time you get a question wrong, you get downgraded and the way they treat them on the show just gets downgraded. - That's fucking funny. - So it starts off like everyone's like, has like, you know, really nice chairs to sit on and like really nice food. And then the more you get wrong, they're just like, at the end of it, you just disappear from the frame.

- It's really, really good. - It's only on New Year's. - It's only on New Year's. - It's really, really good. - It's really, really good. - Even if you don't understand anything, it's so visual as well that it's really fun. - Really good. - It's definitely one I recommend. And there's also the one that I kind of like, and I wish that other countries did this, was the Yuwa Naniwo.

- What is it? - "You are Nanishi Nihon" - Yeah. - Yeah, it's basically the show where the whole idea of the show is they wait at like major airports, like Haneda or Narita. And then they go up to foreigners coming to Japan and they go, "Oh, why are you in Japan?" - Okay. - And then they go, "Oh, I'm doing blah, blah, blah." And they're like, "Oh, can we come with you?"

And they basically tag along with the foreigner to do whatever. - It's actually to that credit, not set up at all. It's literally just like, where do you want us to meet you? What are you doing? - I know because I've been stopped twice for it. - I saw people filming it right where people went out. So I was like, yeah, that's what it is. - Oh wow. - And so they'll just follow a random foreign person and some- - Just them going to their hotel? - Well, no, no, no. They'll be like, what are you coming to this trip? So if he's like, I'm gonna go fishing on a boat in the middle of the ocean. They're like, okay, tell us when we'll meet you there. And they filmed that.

So they film foreigners that come to Japan. Only foreigners. But I feel like... I'm going to go to Shibuya Square. Well, they don't... They don't take people. They'll be asking if someone's like... If someone's like, I'm coming here to compete in the baseball championships. Like, oh, can we follow you? Oh, wow. And I guess because it's so... This is the...

Japan doesn't like people filming, right? But if you have massive clout with TV shows, I swear you get led into everywhere. So I swear they just walk into everywhere with this camera crew. - Dude, the moment you say like, "Oh, we're with NHK, TBS." Any of those like- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They're like, "Let's go right now."

- All of a sudden all this. - They're just following them. There's some really cool stuff to get up to. - I'll check that out, that sounds good. - Yeah, that's really interesting. - My favorite one of those was like the guy who had never tried surfing before came to Japan to go surfing in Okinawa.

And it's just like, you follow this dude and he just goes all the way to Okinawa and he's like, "Yeah, I've never surfed before, but I'm gonna try it here." And the entire time it's just watching this guy struggling. - Yeah, that sounds bad. I hear it's not that good in Okinawa. - But it's really endearing to watch. - I saw one where it was like, this guy wanted to learn, he'd planned to learn to make tatami with like a tatami. - Why would you wanna do that? - I thought it was kinda neat that there was a guy and it was literally like a 90 year old guy. He's like, "Fucking fine, I'll help you."

- He's like, "All right." - How'd you learn that? - He was in this guy's house for like three months just learning to make tatami mats. - I've found the one weeb just going 10 levels deep into Japanese- - Yeah, I don't know how they find these dudes. I guess they literally just harass everyone. Like, "What are you doing? What are you doing?" - Yeah, they literally just go up to everyone who looks foreign and they just ask. - Okay. - It's a really fun show. Japan has a lot of shows that,

kind of pat Japan on the back. They're like, they have a lot of food shows about like everything. A lot of the TV shows they put on television in Japan are like about how good Japan is and all the cool things in Japan. We do not have anything like this in the UK. It just does not exist. - No, I think you do. - We have some that are like, yeah, like historical thing. - You literally just referenced it earlier with the show moving to Australia and I'm like, no, I'll- - No, that's not like, that does not make the UK look good at all.

- You could have such a good life in Australia. Look how much more she gets paid. She's like, "I decided not to move from Scunthorpe, I like it." - No, but that makes it seem like it's just so quaint and lovely here. - No, the only thing that I think makes the UK look kind of good, they're like, I don't know, they just show off some nice homes sometimes, or the antique road show. - There's nice homes? - Like, Noel. - Oh, I remember my mom used to watch antique road shows. - Antique road show is a classic. - Antique road show is my comfort show.

- Wait, do they have an Australian version or is it the British one? - We had both. - I don't know what this is. - Originally they- - What antiques are there in Australia? - That's a great question. The oldest it gets is 250 years. - They just bring in something like, "I think it's pretty nice." Like, "This is a-

5,000 year old relic from King Edward IV. How did you find this in your basement? - Meanwhile, the Australian one is like, "Oh, that looks pretty nice." It's like, "Yeah, my dad made it last week." - I saw an article in the UK recently on BBC News. They were like, "Oh yeah, family finds that a garden ornament was indeed World War I shell." - What? - It was an active bombshell. And then the story was some guy's dad found it on the beach, thought it looked nice, painted it red and just stuck it in the garden.

And then, and this is my favorite bit, they're like, "Hey, I don't know how someone found this out. They're like, 'We found a bomb in your back garden. We need to evacuate the neighborhood to do it.'" And they're like, "No."

- He's like, I'd rather die than you get rid of this bomb. And so then eventually they convinced them where they're like, okay, we think it's okay to take it out and blow it up somewhere else. - Jesus Christ. - Garden. - Yeah, garden or in UK. - UK, explosions.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that one. - Look at this. This is what they were willing to kill. This little red thing, I saw the picture of it and I was like, this is shit. This is not worth fighting for. - It doesn't even look good. - What? - How the fuck did they have the most bomb ass looking thing? That looks like a bomb, straight up. - If I found that just lying on the streets, I'd be like- - And apparently when they had something dirty or something, they would whack it to get the dirt out. - Jeez.

- And I was like, this is the most UK thing ever. - It looks really nice though. - Oh, just casually have a fucking- - But that's never blow. You never hear about like, you always hear people finding them. - Yeah, because if it hasn't blown up in like 100 years, it's not gonna blow up. Well, odds are it's not gonna blow up. - I'd win. - That is kind of crazy. - No, I'd win. - Well, I wouldn't die.

- Someone else might. - He didn't have the ego to survive. - Why is it sweet when I drink from this? I don't get it. - You call everything sweet Felix. - It's water. - I feel like you had something else in this and it wasn't water. - No, it's just normal water. - You just fucked up taste buds. - Okay, sure.

- We can just gaslight you. - That's been the whole episode. - Is there a certain age you're looking forward to? - For the child? - Yeah, sorry. - For me? - For both. - Why not both? - Yeah, for both.

- No, it's all downhill for me from here. - You have Swedish genes, bro. - I don't feel any more. - I went to fucking Sweden, bro. Everyone who was like 60 looked like they were 40 and they looked amazing. - Oh yeah, you guys went to Sweden? - Yeah, we did. - Sweden review. - I saw that Norway food wasn't as good. - I said Norway food wasn't as good. - Just say yes, it wasn't as good. - It wasn't as good. - Okay. What else was good about Sweden? - There was so much green.

- Yes, we don't have any, this is trees. - The air is like- - More than normal. - I've never breathed in air that felt that clean before. - Really? - Yeah, it was just- - It was nice. - Going to Stockholm, I was like, I took a breath.

- Stockholm isn't even that clean. - That's exactly what every Swede I talk to. - It's cleaner than the rest of the world. - What the fuck? It only goes up from there. - They're on the stank side of Sweden. - Stank side. Well, I asked you, I was like, you know, where should I go eat? 'Cause you, funny enough, you just texted me as I was flying into Sweden. - Okay. - And I was like, what do I do? And you were like, eat this pastry.

- Pastry? - You recommended this. - Oh, . - Yeah, I tried it. - Did you have ? - I didn't have it. - I told you. I told you as well. - Did you? - Yes, I had said and . - I was going right. - I fucked up 'cause I saw it in the airport and I thought I don't wanna get an airport one. So I feel like I didn't wanna get it and not like it. - You had a fresh one, right? - Yeah, and then instead what ended up happening is we had lunch and we had a show so I didn't end up eating it. But we did go to that restaurant you recommended. - They didn't have the meatballs and they were- - That restaurant was godlike.

- I'm gonna remember those meatballs for the rest of my life. - I am genuinely- - What was in the meatballs? - I am genuinely- - No idea. - Genuinely willing to go back to Stockholm just for that meal. It was that good. - Yeah, I remember I told you about the place. I was like, I don't know, 'cause my sister recommended it for me. First she sent a bunch of like cool hipster plays. I'm like, I think they just want like good food. And she's like, okay, this one, but there's only old people that go there.

- That's how you know it's good. That's how you know it's good. - So I was like, okay. - Yeah, I told people online, I was like, yeah man, I went to this restaurant and they were like, what is it? I'm like, I don't know if I want to say, 'cause I don't know if it's like a personal thing. Someone in the comments figured out what it was based off a very vague description. - Yeah, I guess it's not, Stockholm is not that big. - Yeah, they figured it out. And I was like, okay, well, I mean, fair enough. Everyone should get to enjoy it. It was expensive, but it was really, really good. - Right. - Those fucking Swedish meatballs.

I can never recreate them. No, no, neither should you. That was impressive. That's too much power. I guess it's like you go anywhere where you get the local dish and

- It's gonna be better when- - Not always. - 'Cause I've truly had meatballs- - Not in Norway. - Now I realize, it's like you probably only had Ikea meatballs. - Yes. - So obviously, like actual meatballs will taste- - Everything's gonna be good. - But I've always thought of meatballs as like kind of a whatever dish. It's just meatballs, right? How much can you make it good? - The Ikea ones are not actually good. We just play along 'cause it's Ikea. - It's shit. It's actually-

That's like our church. We can't say anything bad about it. The last time I went to Ikea, I was like, this tastes like ass. They're like rubbery. They're so rubbery. I've always thought, why does everyone gas this up so much? I thought this was it. No, no, we just have to go along.

- You gotta take the W's when you get them in Sweden. There's no way just getting all of them. - All right, what else was good about Sweden? - Well, we were there for like a day. - Well, I wanted to hear them. - The air was good. - That was good. - The vibe of like- - The vibe. - The vibe of Stockholm was like- - Fucking hate Stockholm. - Really? - Yeah, they're so rude.

- I remember when going back and some fucking, in Sweden we call him Stjerk, like a rich person asshole. - They weren't the friendliest and stuff. - No, they could fucking, they have scooters everywhere. - Oh, we scooters. - No! No! - Oh my God. - Jesus Christ.

- Chill out bro, God damn. - Bro it's just a scooter. - It ain't that deep. - He reacted like we just came to this family. - They got the scooters in Japan now. Have you seen them? - Holy shit, this has gone full circle. - Yeah I heard someone died from the scooter. I think I hit my boss. - I mean it's not very safe. - We'll fix this later. - I think you were the one that fixed it originally last time he came on the set. - Yeah, he reposed it. - Yeah he reposed it. - Now he's gonna have to repose it again. - Oh God damn it. - Poor Gong. He's a rough.

- Do you hate e-scooters? - I mean, okay, listen, I hate them, but I do admit I kind of like doing it sometimes. But I think they shouldn't be in the city. - Why not? - Let's not change topic. I wanna hear about Sweden. - Okay, good.

- I like the vibe of Stockholm because it's like, it has like a quaint feel to it. At least the part that we were at. - Okay, Stockholm is cool. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So I liked it. - Sure. - Again, it's hard to discern. - Listen, I didn't spend enough time there. - Yeah, it's hard to give a review- - But I'm going back for the meatballs. - Okay, yeah, yeah. - Good, yeah. - Norway was, I like less if it makes you feel bad. - Good, good, good. - 'Cause that's all they wanna hear. - I still thought Norway was good. - Bad about Norway, let's hear it, come on.

- The food we had was okay. - It was okay. - Did you only eat food and breathe air? What else did you do? - Yeah, well, that's all we had time. - You just described living. - That's just my life. - Although the coffee shop was way better in Norway than it was in Sweden. - Oh, that is fine.

They had like beats. It was pretty good though. Actually. I like the beats the most. Well, next time we go to Sweden, what do you recommend? What are we going to do? What are we going to do? You got to go in the summer, beautiful summer. We have this, there's this propaganda slander movie called Midsommar. Oh,

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - It's a horror film. I showed it to you. - Why is it propaganda and slander? - Well, opposite. I didn't know the word. Sorry. I'm English. - Slanderous. - Slanderous. Thank you. Yeah. We have this beautiful tradition of midsummer and they turn it into a horror movie. - Oh, really? Wait, what is the normal festival? - Just fun. - What do you normally do? - You just get shit-faced and go out in the fields with your friends.

- The fields. - Well, that's what midsummer was. - Wait, what do you use to shit face? - You just get shit faced, yeah. - Oh, okay. This beautiful tradition, what have they done to it?

We danced around the fertility pole and seeing little frogs. - I wanna experience that. - Yeah, that's really fun. - Wait, you actually danced around a pole? - Yeah. - Fertility pole. - Yeah, it's a- - How accurate is the movie then about- - Nothing! - 'Cause I do remember the fertility pole thing. - It was even take place in Sweden. I watched it and I'm like, "Those are not Swedish bushes." - Where was it? Did you find out? - It's stony or some shit. - What are you, a rain bolt? - Yeah, I was like, "What?"

- Oh my God. - Yeah, that sounds fun. I wanna do that. - No, wait, but hold on. In midsummer, don't you eat the fucking surstromming? - Yeah, people usually do. - Do people actually like surstromming? - Yeah, people learn. - In the movie. - In the movie. - Oh, in the movie. - In the movie. - Not real life. - Is it the one with the period blood in it? Surstromm?

- So in the movie they had like, they opened the can. - We don't need our period blood.

- This is what I'm saying. - Well, hold on. - People believe it. - Oh, you're filming in Hungary. - Oh, Hungary. - In Japan, they give you the, when you have your first period, people give- - Oh, sekihange. - Yeah, which is kind of red rice. - It's a little weird. - Yeah, they give them red rice. - What? - When in Japan, there is a tradition where when girls come of age and they have their first period- - No, say no more. I don't want to know. - I don't want to know. - The family gives them- - I said say no more. - Red rice. - Can I leave the podcast?

- I can't skip forward. - Yeah, so do you like it? - I never actually eat it. - It looks vile.

- It smells like you will want to vomit, but- - I just want to try just to say. - Yeah, I'm sure it's good. - But I've heard from like- - I'm pretty sure you like it. - I've heard from every like person who has eaten it on the internet who is Swedish because I watched the, I think it was like some fucking Buzzfeed video where they get a bunch of Swedish people that eat surströmming and they're all just like, "Yeah, this doesn't taste the same when you're not shit-faced."

- Oh really? - You need to be shit for that. - I go to Sweden, right? What do I get? What's the food? What's the meal? What do I gotta get? - Other than the obvious ones. - No, no, other than just meatballs. - Yeah, other than meatballs. - Is there anything else? - Oh yeah, there's a lot of food. - There's nothing. Tacos? - That's Norway. - Or Taco Friday. - Yeah, Taco Friday. - What the fuck? Yeah, why do they have that in Norway? - Well, Taco Friday. - Those are Taco Fridays.

- I think it was a marketing thing. - It was a marketing thing, I think. - At least Taco Tuesday does it right. - There was this thing that they were really proud about in Sweden during our show. It was where you have like a coffee break or a break during the day. - Oh, fika. - Yeah, fika. They were really proud about this. - It doesn't make sense 'cause it's like, you just take a break and have a coffee. - Yeah, Sweden! - No, we have fika, yeah. - We asked the crowd, we were like, "What's fika?" And then they went, "Yeah!"

- Fika mentioned. - That was what they voted as like that. - Can you get a boule and some saft? - That was what they voted as that number one thing that they do better than anyone else. - Oh yeah. - Taking a break. - Is it that good? Is it chill? Is it nice? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hype. - Do you still fika now? - No. - Okay. - And I don't get it to be honest. - Wait, really? Why not? - It's a coffee break. - I fuck with it. - Yeah, no.

- I love coffee, I love breaks. - You do coffee breaks, right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm fikaing. - Yeah, I guess. - Shit, I might fika. - That one doesn't really work. - Yeah. - Is it cool? - No guys, I'm not getting a coffee break, I'm doing a fika. - I'm fikaing right now, fuck off. - Fikaing with the bros. - Finna fika. - Yeah, also we noticed the big rivalry. It seemed like Sweden had a rivalry with everyone and everyone had a rivalry mainly in Sweden. - That's historically accurate. - Especially Sweden and Denmark. - Denmark, yeah.

- Yeah, there was a lot of- - Really? The Danish hate the Swedes. - Yeah, that I know, yes. - There's a lot to hate about the Swedes. - Yeah, I get it. I get it actually. - And the Swedes are just like firing in all directions. - They're like putting out every fire. - But I mean, it was a lot of fun. It was definitely- - I definitely wanna go back to properly experience it. 'Cause again- - I'm just going back. I'm going to that restaurant every day. - I realize maybe there's not that much to do. - Why did you move out?

Because there wasn't that much to do. I said it for everyone else to enjoy Sweden. I removed myself. Wow, what a model. I

- I should start saying that about whales. Why do I leave? - To really just allow it to breathe. Just give it some space. - I had to leave some fun for the rest of the year, Ronyo. - I was wondering about that. - This seems like a pretty nice place. Why would you want to use- - I was actually thinking like, 'cause I just met Marzia and took off. And I was like, "Bjorn, you better not do this shit to me."

- I was like 22, I'm done, I'm out. - I was like, damn, you moved to the UK over this? I was like, oh. - That is a crazy downgrade. - Like Japan makes sense, but then I was like, yeah, UK off to Sweden. I was like, oh, that's an interesting choice. - I mean, I guess it just made you like Japan even more when you go to the UK and you're like, wow, nothing works. The food's not good. And then you come to Japan and everything works and the food's great. - Yeah. - But the winters suck in Sweden. Like it's so dark.

- I remember going to school and like you're at the bus station and you can't even see your friends 'cause it's so dark. And you're like, "What the fuck, you're here?" It's just so pitch black. And then you come home and it's pitch black and it's like, oh cool. - Skiing's fun? - Yes, we have a lot of skiing. - You sound like you don't like it that much. - We don't really have mountains. - Gotta go to Norway? - Yeah.

- We have Salen, it's like a hill. - It's like a small mountain. - Damn, Norway really did get everything. They got the oil. - No! - They got the mountains. They got the beautiful, does Sweden at least have the Aurora Borealis kind of stuff or is that all Norway too? They got that too. - We get it up north where no one is. - Same in Norway though, isn't it? - On the border of Norway. - Damn, Norway really got it all, huh?

- Now I can see why Norway was not really beefing with anyone. - No. - Yeah, 'cause whenever you see anything on all the things, they're like, "Oh yeah, yeah, it's Norway number one, Sweden number two." - Norway's like, "I have no enemies." - Well, yeah, I'd have no enemies if I had all the fucking money. What the fuck?

- They have all the money. - It's so unfair. - I got all the money. - My granddad said this on his death bed. He was like, he was just talking shit. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. And he was like, Felix, they have no defenses. - Strike them down. - Take them. Take the land. - It's time to claim what we all deserve. - I'm on a mission. It's really why I started YouTube. - Does your granddad really go, Felix?

- They have no defenses. - Come closer. - They have three point four billion. - That's so fucking funny. That's so fucking funny. They have nothing. We have all the weapons. - They're not expecting it. - What are they gonna do?

- I'm just saying, you probably shouldn't joke about that, but yeah. - That's the kind of shit I want to say on my deathbed. - Just mad talking shit about everyone. - Just say the most unhinged, not politically correct shit. - Oh God. - Oh my God. - You still think Swedish winters are worse than British winters? 'Cause I fucking despise British winters. - No, I hate it. - British winters are so bad. - Wait, British winters are so good? - No, because British winters

- You're saying this without having experienced a Swedish women. - Also, also Garnt, you lived in the southernmost part of the UK. You did not live in the UK. You lived in basically France light. All right, I want to hear it. You didn't live, I live right in the fucking middle. - No, no. - Yes, yes. You also lived in the south. You don't know shit. - I know how shit it was.

- Yeah, that's- - Yeah, because you were in the South. In the North, we got snow. It was fucking nice. - South, we just got wet. - We got snow. - It wasn't even- - Yeah, because you were cold. It was wet. - Yeah, because you were too down South to get fucking snow. - It snows once every three years for five minutes. - Exactly. - In the North, it was great. It was cozy. We had snow. It was fun.

It was fucking nice. - Fuck you. - Fuck you too. - Go back to Sweden. - That's the tax that we pay for living in the better country. Sorry, live better part of the country. - Listen, listen, we like being poor.

in the North. We love it. - It's a choice. - We actually don't want mine in the North. - I've been to Wales and all they had was sheep and hills. - What do you mean? You said Wales was nice. Why are you turning on me now? - It was nice. - Why are you turning on me now? - 'Cause you said fuck you.

- Listen, Sweden's cool. Sweden's cool. - Yes, we're Italian. - You went to like the weird, you mentioned this to me. You went to like the weird Italian town? - That looks like, it's Portuguese or something. - Portuguese, oh yeah. - Yeah, that was cool. - Porto Medio. - That was a really cool place. I like Wales. But I do remember, I don't remember if I said, I feel like I said this last time, but people were like, this is not my,

I posted all these photos, it was all sunny. And everyone's like, this is not my world. - We do get like 10 days a year where it's sunny. - Yeah, I think I went that week. - But I also like the gloominess. - No! - Okay, hold up, let me say something. - Let him cook. - It's like you probably really appreciate the Swedish summers because the winters are so dark and gloomy that I really appreciate when the sun's out. - But UK doesn't get a summer.

- Okay, we do, we do. It's kind of warm. - We have a good one week. - Yeah, and then it's too warm in the AC and you're just fucked. You're like, this sucks, bring it back. - True. - Bring back the gloom. - When the heat wave comes in. - Well, at least we have crisps. Those are good. - There's crisps everywhere. - Yeah, but they suck. - UK crisps are by far the best. - Do you have them in Sweden?

- No, what the fuck? - You had the Estrella sour cream onion. - Well, that's what we're gonna try. - We had the dips too. - There's no shot. - You never dip. - Dip for crisps? - Yes, you get the sour cream with a mix of- - You know what that tells me? Your crisps can't stand on their own. - No, no, no. - They can't stand on their own. - No, you get double flavor. - No. - Fuck, I'm out of this. Goddamn.

- All right, well, I guess we can wrap it up there. We can wrap it up there. He's done, he's done. - Next time. - Slander. - He's done. - Next time you can, okay. You should come out firing next time. - Trash talk, man. - Welcome to Trash Take. - Hey, look at all these patrons though. They support the show. They're like donkey on Sweden, I'm sure.

But hey, if you like to support the show and then- - The Norwegian patrons. - Rise up Norwegian patrons. Now's your time to shine. Hey, if you like to support the show, then go to our Patreon, patreon.com/trashtaste. Also follow us on Twitter, send us memes on the subreddit. If you hate our face, listen to us on Spotify. And hey, if you'd like to check out this week's brand new Patreon exclusive content, then here's a quick five second clip of it. Roll it, Muna.

- Oh God. - Can you fuck off with this dragon? - I just SD four times in a row. - This is bullshit. - Where's my chat up? - Yeah, go follow this guy. - We found some data off the street in Japan. - So we got to shout out the small aspiring artist.

- Wow. - Do you wanna shout out your channel? - I'm hard capped on 111 mil subs, so please guys, come on. - 112, let's do it. - 112. - Come on, let's go. - Even if you're Norwegian, whatever, just like, please, just hate sub at least. - Let's do it, 112, come on, let's go. - Well, thanks for coming on Felix. - My pleasure. - And we'll see you guys. - We'll see you guys next week. - Bye.