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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.
LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. Nice digs, man. I like your place. You know, I say this every time somebody says that, but you're not everybody. I know it's Ben Affleck's beer. Yeah, he used to own this.
Without the music, this place really needs music, but we can't have music as we're talking. But it is a nightclub. It's supposed to be. It was before it was a podcast studio. This is where I partied. When I bought this place, this room was filled with video games.
Which I'm the least interested in video games, you know. That came with the house? That's what Ben had here, I think, you know. And it was just very different, but the structure was the same, and it was so cool. It was crooked. You saw the door is crooked. It's just like it's built on a hill on the side. It's just weird, and I always loved it. It's nice to feel a vibe about a place.
Where do you live? Not too far away. I'm up in the Hollywood Hills, like in the Bird Streets. Oh, sure. Yeah. And like how long you been in that house? About as long as you, about 20 years. Okay. So you were mature enough when you moved there to be, I feel like at a certain point in life, like you know where you're supposed to live. You walk into it and you just go, oh, yeah. Yeah.
I'm supposed to live here. Whereas when you're young, I'm living in an apartment where it's just like it's whatever I could get for the money. But I felt like when I walked into my house, which is not here. It's near here. I said, oh, yeah. First of all, it's built for a single person. Like very few houses are built that way. They're built for families. But mine's like...
There's only one other bedroom beside the master bedroom, but then there's like a nice closet and an outer office and an office. It's just not built for kids. Yeah. But was this your first like kind of big house?
This is my third house, and I feel like I went up the ladder. The first house was the first one you can afford. It's in a struggling neighborhood. Mine was. I moved because the hookers started to live on the corner. Well, not live, but they started to congregate on my corner. I lived right below Sunset.
A little east of Fairfax. Right where Hugh Grant got his blowjob. Okay. Remember the famous... I know the plaque on the corner there. The plaque, yes. Yeah. And that was the neighborhood. And I remember, you know, the first house, it's... You can't believe you're going to go from like... I think my rent was $350,000. And now I'm going to have a mortgage of $1,400,000. It was like, holy shit, what did I just do? Yeah.
Because we were comics, right? I mean, we started almost at the same, I feel like you exploded in the early, it was like 83 or something? Yeah, it was like 84. And I remember my first place. What year was My Bologna? Gosh, well, My Bologna was not, you know, that was 79 was the original. 79? When it came out the first time, yeah. Oh, that's interesting because that was my very first year in comics.
Sure business. I mean, that's why my first year out of college, that's when I moved to New York and started to hang out at the improv and catch a rising star. And it's very weird, you know, I almost called myself Weird Bill. You know, even weirder, I almost called myself Weird Bill Yankovic. Really? Crazy! What are the odds? I must say, I always thought when I...
heard your name, I always thought anybody who's named weird, like that's it. They must be like the most normal guy in the world. It's like an ironic nickname, like huge people are called tiny, you know, that kind of thing. Exactly. Am I right? Yes. Most normal guy in Hollywood. You seem, you just, you radiate normal when you're not doing your craziness. Yeah. It's great that you can, uh,
be crazy like that, right? It's a nice job description. Why not? As opposed to like, what else would you have done in life? Right? I don't know. What are your other skills? Yeah, well, I got a degree in architecture. Where do you see yourself in five years? Would you like to be here? What's your 10-year plan? Here at Gigantic Films, we're looking for people like you. We'd love a man like you in our midst. No, but like, what else would you do?
I don't know. I mean, I got my degree in architecture, but I knew before I graduated I wasn't going to do that. Architect? Yeah. It wasn't my passion. I didn't love it. I got a degree in history and English, and I knew I wasn't going to do that. I knew I was going to do...
Well, not exactly this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking to you in 40 years. Especially when I have the same name. Is this the show, by the way? I just walked out here. Are we doing the show? I love that everybody asked me this. You know, first of all, the answer is yes. Okay. The reason I love this is because I spent a fortune...
making it so that you felt that comfortable. Yeah. Because, I mean, I don't want to point it out and blow it, but
You know, there's cameras all around. What? They're just built in. They're just unobtrusive, and there's nobody else in the room. And at least one of us is getting high. Where are you with that, Al? Do you? Not for me, but. Yeah. Well, thanks, Dad. Go for it. I'm glad I have your permission. Oh, wait. Are we wearing like the same shirt? Are we? Very close. Are we moraying? No. All right.
All right. No, you're not that lucky, Al. You have to get to know me better before you maray me. Oh. Have you ever had a homosexual experience, Al? With my wife? Yeah.
Every year, like on my birthday. Wait, a homosexual? Are you saying what I think you're saying? Probably not. Oh. I asked you if you had a homosexual experience. Oh. What did you think I meant? I just said sexual experience. Oh, no, I said homosexual. Oh, oh, oh. And then when you said, yes, on my birthday, I thought you were saying, I get it in the, I get the ass on my birthday. No, yeah. I didn't hear the question properly. Okay.
So you're making a marriage joke. Yes. One of the staples of comedy, right? Have you ever been, and I'm sure you have, been in a writer's room with, like, you know, a lot of them are guys, and there's just a lot of marriage jokes. I mean, not that I needed another reason to ever get married, but...
But if I did, if I was searching for one, it would be, how come when you get 10 guys in a room, like 68% of the jokes are about how marriage sucks. Right. And they don't get laid and blah, blah, blah. So when are you getting settled down, Bill? We've been wondering about you. It is really getting, I said I would before 70, but I'm going to go back on that. Yeah.
How long have you been married? 2001, so doing the math, that's sort of 21 years. Yeah. Well, that's very noble in Hollywood and very rare. Yeah, well, my wife and I both waited until we were ancient and decided that, you know... Ancient? Stop that. You're not ancient now. I hate that in this country, this ageism. It's so ingrained. People do it on themselves. You're not ancient. You look great. No, I'm just being self-deprecating.
Yeah, well. Well. Why? Are you like from some...
Pussy area of the country where they put themselves down like the Midwest But what are the self-deprecating states there are play I wouldn't the map let's put up Because the people are so nice and polite, you know, and you know, they're like Francis McDormand and that movie which is Yeah That just super nice
And they probably yourself, Debra Yonni, where are you from? I'm from L.A. You can tell by the tan. I've been working on this for a long time. I'm from Linwood. So I'm from the hood. This is real. I went to the same high school as Suge Knight. Is that right? It is, yeah. Wow. So my high school is famous for Suge Knight, Mark Spitz, Kevin Costner, and Fred Gwynn. Wow. Kevin Costner. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, you were not there at the same time as Suge, were you? I was there with all of those people. You really? No. Right. What a stupid thing. No, Suge was after me. I don't think I was, I had high school all to myself.
Wouldn't it be funny if you looked at his yearbook and in Suge Knight it was just like, you know. You know, holding people out the window. Well, no, the op-ed captain of the debate. You know, he was just like, honors his side. It's like, wow, what happened? Wow, what happened there? What the fuck happened when he got out of high school? He was well on his way, you know. And then, ooh, he's a rough one, that Suge Knight. Has he been in the lounge? Yeah.
No, he's been in prison for quite some time. I did have a... I did have him on Politically Incorrect once. I saw him at a bar once, a bar. It was kind of a club. It was on Santa Monica Boulevard. I think it was called Peanuts. Do you remember that back in the day? Vaguely. I don't know if I've ever been in sight, but I remember driving by. It was like a... You know, it was... This is like... Was that like a disco? What was it? It was...
Not a disco. It was, you know what it was? It was in the gay area. It was kind of like a lesbian club, but it was like lesbian, but not really committed to that completely. Uncommitted lesbian? No, it was like a place celebrities went. Okay. Because it had that, you know, any place that has a gay...
vibe to it at all is going to be hipper, you know, and more loose and, you know. So that was... You want to make the flounge gayer, Bill, just to get the hip clientele? What do you have in mind? I don't know. I know you only get it in the S once a year. Let me ask you another question. When is your birthday? Oh, well, well. Oh.
Really? October 23rd, 1959. When is it? October 23rd. Oh, so you just had a birthday. I did. Oh. I did. And you turned? 85. I'm telling you, you look fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. But anyway, so I was there at this Peanuts place and Sugar just got out of prison. This is before he went back into prison for good. Like they really, I think he backed over a guy on camera, which is not a good look.
One of those oopsies. Yeah. But he had just got out of prison.
And he was there with all his crew and a lot of... Anyway, I pissed off one of his soldiers, a girl, a lesbian girl. I think it was one of his recruiters. What did she do, Bill? There was this floor show, and she stood right in front. I just said, excuse me, you just got right in front of me. And she was like, all of a sudden, it was very out of control and...
My friend thought we were going to get killed, but then I ran up to, I didn't run up, my friend wanted us to run away. And I was like, no, I'm not going to look over my shoulder my whole life. Right. You know, I remember they were wearing like the red, it was L.A., the famous L.A. Dodgers cap, but in red. Uh-huh. And it's sort of famously blue, the L.A. Dodgers. Yeah, yeah. So there's a statement right there. Uh-huh. I know. Yeah.
Might have been a little gang-influenced. I don't ask questions. Anyway, long story short, he said he watched Politically Incorrect in prison, so I was okay. So Politically Incorrect did save my life. So...
Were you ever unpolitically incorrect? I was, thanks for remembering. Well, come on. It was the 90s. It was the high point of my life, Bill. And you don't even remember. You could have been with Kissinger. I wouldn't have remembered that either. It was me and Gibby Haynes. Gibby Haynes. Seriously? From Butthole Surfers. Who? Oh, come on. The Butthole Surfers. Yes. Oh, this is so 90s. Oh, my God. Gibby Haynes.
That sounds like an old Western actor. When you said, I thought you were... Give me a hand. Yes. My biscuits are burning. Remember him in Let's Kill All the Indians? Yeah. That's a little dated now. It was a comedy. At the time, it was funny, but now... He had a very bad attitude about that. Oh, did you see the...
Sashene Littlefeather thing? Tell me the story, because I saw the headlines. Right. I saw the headlines, too, and it wouldn't usually be the thing I would read, but once I started, it was so fascinating. Like she's not really Native American? That's part of the story, yes. If people don't know who Sashene Littlefeather is, she just died in 1972.
she accepted the Oscar that Brando won for The Godfather. He wanted to make a statement, and he didn't want to go to an award show. So he sent her in his stead. It was a famous thing in America at the time. We all were. Right, right. And she got up there and accepted the Oscar. Now, if that happened today, she'd get a standing ovation. Woke Hollywood would love this like you can't believe. In 1972, booed, we were...
Not just booed. They told her if she went over her time, she would be arrested. Oh, I didn't hear that part. Not just booed. And Will Smith rushing the stage to slap someone would not have been the first time that happened because they had to restrain John Wayne.
from doing just that. He wanted to go up there. The crowd was jeering her. Okay, so listen to this. She gets off stage without getting arrested, goes to Brando's house to give him his Oscar, is shot at. What? Was not hit, but on the door step, shot at. I did not know this either. Wow. I know. Isn't that amazing? Is this just coming out or is this coming out? It was in the obituary.
This all was plain knowledge. Wow. Yeah. But you just, to think about the difference, this was liberal Hollywood of 1972. Well, John Wayne, I don't know. Quentin Tarantino was here a couple weeks ago, and I told him,
you should make, you know, this movie because I know he loves alternative endings. Right. He did it with World War II. He did it with the Manson murders. Yeah. Right? I said...
Tell this story, but instead of just Sachin Littlefeather getting shot at on Brando's doorstep and then cowering, have her become like a badass revenge. He loves women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Revenge, right? Uma Thurman. And have her go after all those people who were all the people of the day. Jack Lemmon and David Niven. Right.
And Leslie Caron, whoever the stars were. And of course, the last one, she'd have to fucking kill like a badass, you know, Buford Pusser or Billy Jack on fucking John Wayne. I like that. Isn't that a great movie? That sounds great. Sashane Little, she's an Indian. Well, okay. And then the other part of the story, you're right. We find out she's not an Indian.
So what is that all about? Her sister's outed her. Well, you know, I think they said, it's kind of a poignant comment. I think their comment was something like she felt there would be less prejudice against an Indian than a Mexican, which I think is what she was, or something would be easier as an Indian than a Mexican. I feel like it was definitely, you know, they were saying given the prejudices
Prejudices of America, which was so much more profound at the time. Obviously they shot at her liberals No, it was Walter Matthau You know Roger Moore The fact that just that you could hire actors to play all these stars of that era and then kill them I
I think it's just hysterical. When did it come out that she was not actually Native? Like, just very... Like, Brandon didn't know, I guess? No, that just came out. Yeah, okay. The other part about getting shot at and the booing, that all happened and it's been...
But people knew it, but we just didn't. - That's wild. - It just wasn't widely reported. Or we just forgot or we didn't care, but when she died, it came to surface again. But the thing about her not being Indian, that is new. - Okay. - And I don't care. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm just interested in the Tarantino side of it. - Yeah, let's say Quentin deals with that part of the story. - Right. Yeah, and that's really interesting. It's a really interesting part of it, and you could weave it in. Anyway.
Quentin, somebody's gonna make this movie. Chop-chop, here we go. I'm just saying, if it's not you... I have so many people who work for me that I am grateful for. The guy who washes my solar panels, the guy who walks my dog Chico, and the dude who gets the weed smell out of Club Random.
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What about drink, Al? Do you drink? Oh, yeah, I'm drinking Fiji water. Here we go. You have a lot to celebrate. You have a big fucking... And you're going to get ass sex in only 11 months. No, you're...
your movie. I got a big movie. Yeah. Look at you. It's just doing well. I think it's doing well. You know, the thing with streamers, this is actually the reason why I wanted to sell it to a streaming platform in the first place. You don't know how well it does.
And I was a little gun-shy after UHF came out. UHF? Yeah, in 1989 it came out. That's my first movie. I spaced my movies 33 years apart. I thought you were saying that was a streaming service. I'm like, even UHF is in streaming? No. But my first movie did not do well at the box office. Which was that? Sorry? Which was what? UHF was the name of the movie. Oh, yes. I remember that. Sure you do. I do. Like you remember Gibby Haynes. Yes.
Give me Hayes. God damn it. But the thing was, you know, I said if I put out another movie, it would be nice to not, you know, not bomb and not even have a chance of bombing because nobody knows the numbers on the streaming services. So it's getting great reviews and people seem to like it. No, it's big. I know because I'm aware of it. Because, like, I don't, you know, I don't know. I guess I'm just not cued into that much.
side of the news cycle, most people are much more aware of pop culture stuff. And I'm much more aware because of my job. You know, I'm much of serious political stuff. So when something like that gets on my radar, I mean, I haven't seen it, but I'm dying to see it.
Because you're funny. You've always been funny. I always thought your music was hysterical. Well, thank you. And there's a buzz about it because, again, if it got on my radar, it means something. Really, I'm serious. And I know things about it that, like, sometimes, like, I know things and I don't really want to know them. I call that mind raping.
Like, I did not have my... I did not give consent to know who Scott Disick is. You know, I was mind-ranked there. You know what I'm saying? You just... It was not consensual that I know lots of pop culture stuff. Yeah. But this one, I was happy he got on my radar. Well, tell me what you know about it, and I'll confirm all this. I know that it's an origin story and kind of a parody of...
origin stories in in music you know biopics which is a ripe area yeah for parody i think yeah you know um because it's it's become very popular with you know uh what was uh the queen the brigham and rhapsody and rocket man came out rocket man and all these yeah elvis yeah elvis right yeah
I assume you've seen all of them. Yeah, yeah. We had to do research. I wrote off the movie tickets on my taxes because it's... What are your reviews? You know, I enjoyed them all, but they upset me as a fan because, you know, I'm a big Elton John fan. I'm a big Queen fan. But, you know, I look at these movies and...
I just notice where they just take liberties. Even times when they don't need to, but they just change the facts around. They change the chronology around. It drives me nuts. Yes, I can't believe you said it because I went to the Elvis movie in the theater. I mean, I'm a giant Elvis fan.
of a certain period, not his early period, but as a singer, I do love Elvis. - The bloated period that we all love. - I do, that's it. That's when he did better music. And it wasn't all bloated. He only got bloated the last two years. - Semi-bloated. - You know that he was always bloated, even when he looked good, but he would then slim down when he had to go back in front of the cameras. But between films,
when you didn't see him for a couple of months, because that was the era when you could just not be seen for a couple, you know. And he wasn't on the road in the 60s. No TMZ? No TMZ, no, nothing. And he would get fat as fuck, and then he would get slimmed down. But even up until like 75 is when he looked bad. That's 75, 76, 77, his last three years, yes.
But I've checked that he was on the cover of People magazine when he was 40 and he looked fantastic So it wasn't maybe that was his last hurrah of being in shape. He remember I have it I saved it I always what I would love to look like that Elvis had edited Elvis is 40 like oh my god Can you believe it Elvis is 40? I'm 40 exactly but
No, the movie drove me crazy because I know Elvis's biography very well. And there was so many unnecessary sort of changes they made. I understand because they want to make things more dramatic, but...
Elvis's life is dramatic. He didn't go into the army because they were about to arrest him for wiggling his hips as they presented in the movie. That's more dramatic. He escaped. No, he's drafted like everybody was drafted. The stupidity of that scene where he's making his...
his comeback special, but it's really the Christmas special. And then at the last minute, without anybody knowing, he does a completely different special. As if you could do that. Like bring in sets in two hours and wrote a... You know, he's watching Bobby Kennedy get assassinated and then he writes...
If I Can Dream. Well, I love If I Can Dream. It's one of my favorite songs, but it wasn't written by him or then. That's one of the things they do in all these biopics is that they take things that happen like days or weeks or months or years apart and they have them all happen the same night. Exactly. Because it makes more sense from a storytelling perspective. And then they put a little disclosure on the screen. Some events have been conflated. Blah, blah, blah.
In other words, we just fucking made it up. We wanted to. Which is what I leaned into with my movie. I figured, okay, if I'm going to do a biopic, facts out the window. Like, nobody cares. Well, I would expect no less from you, Al. It's a parody of a biopic, essentially. Yeah. Well, I can't wait to see it. It's on Netflix? It's, well, you can, no. No, what's it on? From what I remember, it's on the Rokri channel. It's free.
Well, what do you mean? The Roku channel is free. Yes. You go to theroku.com and it's... I thought Roku was the box that... Well, they do that too. They make TVs, they make apps and devices, and they also have an actual channel.
And then once in a while, the whole thing crashes and they have a little animated Roku doll that comes up on the screen. - Is that? I have not seen that. - Yeah, and it kind of dances and I'm like, "What are you dancing? "You just crashed my thing."
I guess sometimes it has to reboot or something. I don't know. It's all complicated. I miss the rabbit ears. I miss going up on the roof and adjusting the antenna. Well, so Roku Channel. Yeah, the Roku Channel. So this is one of their early forays into original programming. I see. And thankfully they decided that they wanted to be in the Weird Al business. So...
Do we all have the Roku channel automatically? Well, if you have a computer, you have the Roku channel. So we're born with the Roku channel. It's like a chip in your brain. It's not like something I have to order like Netflix. If you want to watch it on your TV, it's got to, you know, I don't have all the info in front of me. No, I have, I see Roku. Yeah. So you can certainly watch it. So I must have it. If I have the box, I must have it. Okay. Oh, great. Fantastic.
Yeah. And you don't have to subscribe. Like I said, it's ad-supportive, so every now and then you'll see a commercial. Oh, really? Yeah. But not in the middle of the movie. Well, yeah. Really? There's a commercial in the middle of the movie? There is. Oh, okay. All right. There's a commercial in the middle of this, too. See? I'm not busting your balls about it.
But I just, I'm glad you prepared me. Okay. If you see somebody selling something in the middle of my movie, it's not something that I thought of. It's so, the age we live in, it's so funny. You know, first of all, when I grew up, as you did, in the age of like Johnny Carson and when people were plugging their movies or something that was formal and the band's playing and I'm here, how you doing? I'm on the couch. And now it's just like, you know, I'm not.
I can say, "I haven't seen your movie yet. It's okay because we're much more honest, but it's honest also that I really want to and I heard it's great," which is actually a better recommendation than it got on my radar. And then, you know, we can just learn all about the idea that Burt Reynolds would come on and boy, Sashen Littlefeather's gonna fuck him up too. Oh no, he's actually Indian. - Burt is? - Yes, give him a pass. - Nice. - Yes, Burt Reynolds is part Indian.
We do a whole Boogie Nights thing in my movie. It's a whole pool party scene that's inspired by Boogie Nights. And Dr. Demento in my movie is sort of modeled after Burt Reynolds' character in Boogie Nights. Oh, really? Kind of, yeah. I love Burt Reynolds. Yeah. He was awesome.
All right, so, but the idea that like Burt Reynolds or somebody would be on Johnny Carson's show and then Johnny would have to, unless he's on, you know, ABC or something, and then have the way, the delivery system described to him.
Which is what you're telling me. Uh-huh. I mean, that's a very big difference from the 70s, where we kind of knew what the delivery systems were. Well, there's like three networks. It wasn't very confusing back then. You have to plug your movie and how the fuck to get it. Yeah. You know?
Yeah. Okay. Well, so... We'll figure it out. I'll make sure that there's a Roku channel on your TV. Well, I mean, it shows that they have a lot of faith in you because obviously they're launching something. Yeah. I mean, yes, I'm a little out of it, but...
I think it's indicative that I did not know they even had the channel. And I'm sure many people do, because people, again, follow this stuff closer than I do. But they probably haven't had a giant hit yet. I mean, like I said, this is sort of brand new for them. They're just getting into original programming, and they're known more for manufacturing TVs and devices than they are for programming. But this is like a big sort of gamble for them.
I thought we had laws against that. I thought you're not allowed to, like, make the TV and also make what goes on. Is that true? Well, I think, yes. I mean, there are laws like that, antitrust laws, monopoly laws. Are we still following those? That's a good question. Don't make me get political. Okay. Are you very political? I am, but I don't talk about it publicly. What about here? Is anybody watching? I love that you asked that.
And by the way, so did Lisa Kudrow, Jay Leno, somebody last week. Oh, but he was a professor type. Of course, he doesn't know where the cameras are. But yes, some real show business veterans have been like, are we on? You segwayed into it so smoothly. Exactly. Because like, you know, this is my little genius. I can be friends with somebody so quickly.
Only if I like them to begin with. That's the truth. But then we don't invite anybody here who I kind of don't know I'm going to like. I love the fact that I can meet people for real who I maybe have met a couple of times or barely at all. And then at the end of an hour feel like, oh, I know this person. Or at least, you know, we're literally friends and not just friendly. Yeah, yeah. I always make that distinction in Hollywood because everybody thinks that.
you know, who's not in showbiz, is that we all know each other. Like, it's just like a club. Yeah, it's sort of like a lot of friends in town sort of like get together for podcasts. That's like their social thing. It's like, what are you doing Thursday? I want to be on my podcast. Yeah, it's almost like, what did the Amish used to do? Like a barn raising? Or, you know, a potlatch or something. A podcast. It's kind of like, oh, yeah, well...
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And you still tour, right? Yeah, I just literally got off of a six-month tour. Six months? Yes. Yeah, we did six months. When you say tour, don't tell me that you're away from home the entire six months. I am. Really? You don't see your own house for six months? That is correct. I would never do that. Why? Because you have a show every night? Basically. You don't even build in like a week here or...
You know, we tried that before. We tried, like, oh, let's do something humane, like have three weeks on the road and one week off. Yes. Which sounds great in practice, but then, like during that week that's off, we're still paying everybody's salary. We're paying for two trucks. We're paying for two buses. That's right. And at the end of the tour, we're like, how come we didn't make any money? So now when I'm on the road, I'm on the road. Holy shit. I mean, man, do I feel fortunate.
Because I know it depends on your personality. Some people are more nomadic by nature. You must be I'm a homebody. Yeah, I Never stopped doing stand-up. I'll be on the road this weekend. I'm in New York. I might my home is the bus I mean, I literally live on the bus. I could not live on a bus What is the point out of being this wealthy and successful and living on a bus? I
You know who lives on buses? Poor people. Or like somebody who goes out in nature, like that guy in the movie Into the Wild who lived on a bus in the middle of nowhere. Eating berries in the back lounge. Exactly. Or a hollowed-out bus in a war zone.
You live on a bus. I'm sure it's a nice bus. Yeah. Still a bus. I like it. You know, the rest of the band and the crew, they check into a hotel. But, you know, I've got my internet backstage in the back of the bus, and I've got TV. Oh, other people get hotels, and you stay in the bus? That's correct, yeah. All by yourself? No. Yeah. With your wife? Well, she doesn't travel with me. Sorry.
I mean, six months. What's she going to do? Six months? Yes. She's a widow for six, for half the year? Well, I mean, she comes out and visits every few weeks whenever she wants to get out of town. I bet you she comes to the good cities. Chicago, honey, I'll meet you there. That's exactly. She looks at the itinerary and goes, that's a
Boise and... Oh! I've heard that from other people about wives and tours. Yeah. They don't come to the sticks. The wives do not go to the... There's no I'll be meeting you in Indianapolis. And I love Indianapolis. Yes. But they just don't come. Yeah. All right. I'm glad we settled that. So you deserve that birthday ass fuck. Or whatever it was. Fuck.
So, okay. So you're on the... Oh, my God, Al. I've got to talk you out of this. Well, I'm off the road for a while. We finished at Carnegie Hall. I've never played Carnegie Hall before. That was fun. We did that. And now I'm off until we do a European tour starting in February. I played Carnegie Hall once. They should get over themselves. No.
Really. I mean, I remember there's like the one place where you can't like videotape your show. Right. And I think the money was bad. It was kind of felt like... It's not about the money when you're playing Carnegie Hall. But that's what they're... And that's bullshit. Well... It's a hall.
okay, it's a hole and people come and watch you do your thing like they did. And then you should be paid the same because they're selling the idea of it's Carnegie Hall. It's like, okay, you know what? You got me. And it's very union. I know because the first time I was booked to
Carnegie Hall was like in the 90s, I think, and I was all excited. But back then, the tour we just did was like the band tour. So it's literally just the band sitting on stools and playing their instruments. Very, you know... How many people in your band? Five, including me. But this tour was very cool. And then how many in the crew? Oh, about a dozen all total. So it's, yeah, like any other rock show. Yeah. But I mean, the first time we tried to play Carnegie Hall, we had the show booked.
And we were told that because of all the unions, even if we sold out, we would literally lose a ton of money. So we had to cancel. So we figured with this tour, being at no frills, literally just these guys on stage playing their instruments, we'd be able to make it work.
I don't want to make you cry and tell you how I lived my life. Tell me. Well, I only go out for 30 hours at a time. I play two cities because I have a job on Friday night. The Wicked Warrior stuff? Yeah, and not even every weekend. But I always like, and I don't go on a bus. I go on a private jet. And I fly, and I wake up an hour before the plane leaves.
And I fly to a city on Saturday, maybe have time to check in the hotel, maybe just go right to the venue, do the show, stay over in that city. That first city is always one of those A cities where the wives would come. Right, right. And then the second night...
Fly to the next city, get up late, you know, have breakfast at 2 in the afternoon, go to the next city, go right to the venue, do the show, and fly home. That sounds great. I mean, I've always been a little envious of comedians that can, you know, travel by themselves and keep all the money. No, I quit, but keep all the money. I share all the cash with, like, 20 people. I don't have to tell you what happens on my birthday. LAUGHTER
But look, I'm not a rock star. That's the other thing. It's like you, the reason you do this, the reason you're away for six months at a time, it's not the money. You don't need the money. I know why you do this. It's that old story about Bob Hope. And they said, what? You know, he was on the road like when he was 89, 250 days a year. And he said, somebody said, Bob, why do you do it? He said, well, the gardeners don't applaud. Yeah.
Yeah. That's it. It's a nice... You know, it's a drag to be away from home for that long, but, you know, I love it. You can't tell... Exactly. That's what I'm saying. You can't tell jokes to squirrels. Emo Phillips opened for me on every single show on this last tour. Emo Phillips. We love Emo. But he... I love Emo. He actually got depressed at the end of a six-month tour saying, like, I'm so sad that this tour is ending. He just...
Just loved being on stage so much. Well, his name is emo. Yeah We be yeah, I'm so glad emo still working emo was I remember we did London together in 1992 some show in London where they booked American comics and we were on it together and He was funny. Yeah, he is funny. I
Oh, I'd love to see Imo. I'd love to see your show. You should. Yeah. Could. I'll be in Paris next March. So we'll see you there. Paris? Yeah, that's part of Europe.
So you do Europe, too? Well, not often, but we're going to do it next year. And I'm hoping it's going to translate because, like, a lot of my humor is, like, American pop culture references. I mean, that's brave, Paris. I mean, I know lots of comedians who play Europe. I did it myself in 2015. I'm glad I had the experience. Again, me with my 30 hours away. I'm a homebody. I'm not going to do it again. I liked it. Did you do it in any countries where English wasn't, like, the primary? No. I mean, you could...
You can play easily. You can play, of course, Amsterdam. You can play Germany. You can play, obviously, England, all over England, Scotland. You can play the Nordic countries. I played Oslo and I played Stockholm. Yeah, but those are mostly places where you're playing. So those are okay? Paris is a whole different kettle of fish. First of all, they have a bad attitude about anything but French. So they don't speak English the way all these other countries de rigueur. They don't teach it in the schools.
And, like, they are outliers. For example, The Beatles, the only place in the world where they were met with, meh. Really? Was Paris. Really? Absolutely. Everywhere else in the world went gaga for Beatlemania, and the Parisians, I mean, I'm sure some of the, I'm sure they got laid over there. But you play Paris or no? No, because I'm saying, not just me, American comedians don't play Paris.
Because it's just not the place, and they don't speak the English. So, I mean, who suggested this? I just go where I'm, I don't book the shows. I look at the itinerary and go, oh, look what I'm playing. Well, I mean, it's brave, and I'm sure they know what they're doing, because nobody likes to lose money. Yeah, but, you know, especially for, I mean, I've got the music to fall back on, but I feel bad. Exactly, it's music. I feel bad for emo to go out to a crowd and, you know,
if they don't know what he's saying. Yeah, emo might have a problem. But maybe it's changed. I don't know. But I sure avoided it like the plague. And I don't know any other American comedians, and lots of American comedians do play those kind of European cities. I don't know anybody who plays Paris. But I could be wrong, and I'm sure it'll be great when you're doing the music and there are songs that people have heard. It's not like when a comedian does a joke,
the charm of it is that it's completely new. - Right. - Whereas you're doing songs that they know. - Well, maybe, 'cause again, the tour that I'm doing is like the No Parodies tour.
It's like not only is it. Oh, is that right? Yeah. So the whole thing is called The Unfortunate Return of the Ridiculously Self-Indulgent Ill-Advised Vanity Tour. So it's like all the stuff that nobody wants to hear. But still funny. No, no, it's still a comedy show. Right. But it's not like the hits. It's not like, you know, we're not doing Eat It, we're not doing Like a Surgeon. And why did you decide to do this masochistic thing?
Because we wanted, I got tired of putting on the fat suit for the thousandth time. Right. And I was like, you know, can I just do one tour where I'm just like, we're just going out and being musicians, you know? Right, yeah. So we did that in 2018, and, you know, as an experiment, and we sold out. People loved it. Great. So we just did it again, but we haven't done it in Europe, so that's going to be the big experiment. Well, you know, first of all, Europe is a great town. Yeah.
I've always said that. And I think that...
It becomes more and more like America, for good and bad. Yeah. Mostly bad, but some good. So whatever I think worked here, I think you'll be fine. Okay. I don't think people book somebody of your stature without knowing what they're doing. I mean, who's your agency? I keep forgetting. It's WME. Who? William Morrison. Oh, WME? Yeah. Oh, R.E. Emanuel. Yeah.
One of my closest friends. Not my agent. I love him. But, yeah, they're not the kind of agency that fucks up. Yeah. If they book you in Paris, you'll do fine in Paris. And if I don't, I will blame you, Bill. Tell them for me, fuck you for the Beatles. I will use those exact words. Fuck you for the way you treated them. I mean, that's just what I read about. The Beatles had a...
a whole like two-week residency there in January of '64, just when
They got the news that they had their first hit in America when they were in Paris. They had had hits in England for a year, but they had just broke the American market, which is what all the English bands always wanted to do, was break the American market. So many English stars, pop stars, thought they were going to be worldwide stars, and then they crashed in America. And the Beatles thought that was likely what was going to happen to them too. So they were beyond thrilled.
when they got the news, when they were in Paris, that "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was number one in America.
But that fucking French audience brought them down the next night. So they were there for two weeks? They had two weeks of math? Yes, they were at like the Olympia or some theater where they played, you know. And I'm sure they had asses in seats. But they just, you know, it's kind of like, it sounded to me kind of like when people sometimes play Japan and they don't realize that their way of showing appreciation is less important.
- It's very polite. - Boisterous, shall we say? - Yeah, 'cause we say that sometimes, like, "Oh, that was a very Japanese audience tonight." Yeah, they were there. - Right, right, yeah. I've always had that argument with certain comedians who say, "There's no such thing as a bad audience." And that's my, I am on the other side of that. There is absolutely such a thing as a bad audience. What there isn't is an audience who knows they're bad.
They don't know they're bad because we're the ones who hear different audiences each night. So we have something to compare it to. They have nothing to compare it to. They're just there. And they think they're fine. You should have a guy on your iPhone like, this was last night's audience. Something to have some comparison. I'm sure when I was just starting out and like...
horrible at stand-up and lashing out at the audience for my mistakes. I'm sure I said some version of that, like...
Last night's audience loved that joke. I think when I was 25, I actually did that. Did it help? No. Of course not. It really makes you... Well, thanks for the feedback. We'll do better now. Exactly. Yeah. As if an audience would react that way to being browbeaten with an unflattering comparison. It made you feel better, though. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what your, what were your early, like, the first times on stage, the first year? I mean, my memory is mostly pain. Yeah, mostly. I mean, I think our very first tour, I think the very first show we had. Tour? Wow.
Well, how could you have a tour if you didn't? How did you build up to even having a tour? Well, I mean, I'm just saying that when we had our first tour, there were like nine people in the first show. Right. But prior to that, I mean, in 1982, I've talked about this a bunch, we opened for the band Missing Persons. Do you remember them, Missing Persons? I know the name. I can't remember. They're very popular in L.A. Right. Terry and Dale Bozio.
But we were at the Santa Monica Civic and I was opening for them. And this is before I had a record deal. I had some airplay on the Dr. Domeno show, some airplay at K-Rock, but I was very, very, you know, just starting out. And we had the opening slot. And I remember I walked out there and,
with my accordion and people just started throwing stuff. - Right. - Like 45 minutes, solid, solid. And I've never, to this day, I've never seen an audience like this before. They didn't even applaud, a courtesy applaud at the end of the song. It was just like, "Get off the stage!"
45 minutes of that. And I will tell you, they threw everything that wasn't nailed down. And after the curtain went down, this is such a vivid memory. I remember this so clearly. After the curtain went down, our whole band was on the floor picking up nickels and quarters that were thrown out. It was like, oh, a quarter! But what did they throw, like bottles? I mean, it wasn't anything...
If they did, it didn't hit anybody. Right. But they just threw everything. No, I was thrown at. First of all, I was thrown at. I was opening for Nils Lofgren. Yeah. Who then joined the Springsteen band. Yeah, Nils, yeah. Great, great player, great guy. I don't know him well, but we correspond every once in a while. He's just a great guy. I don't think I even met him that night. I was just the opening act for
And he was an up-and-coming rocker, and it was in a suburb of Baltimore, as I recall, in some room. And yeah, I mean, it was just like, what a great baptism. And you had to stay up there, because if you got off, you wouldn't get the money. They may even have said that to me, anticipating the barrage of debris that was going to come my way. Do you ever troll them when you know that it's bombing so badly that you have to stay there anyway? Yeah.
No, I think I tried to, I don't know. It's so long ago and it was such a horrible moment, but I did, I think I was just thinking about the fact that
you know, I can do this. I can stay up. You're not going to get me to leave, I think was all that was in my head. Al Franken tells a story sometime about how he would just lean into it. Like, I forget if he was opening for the Grateful Dead or some band that was very popular, and he was not popular at the time. And they would start booing him and just yelling for him to get off the stage. And he'd say, no, no, no, you don't understand. The more you boo, the sooner the band plays. And I want to tell you jokes. Don't you understand?
Right. And we'd just get madder and madder and madder. That was Al Franken? Yeah. Man, do you remember when he was in the comedy team with Tom Davis? Sure, sure. Did you ever see their special? They did a, in like 82, right around there, they did a special for, I believe it was the Fledgling Showtime Network. It was taped live on a campus. Some of the funniest people.
like two-man comedy. You should check it out. I don't know if I've seen that special, but is it the Broadcast Museum or something? How would I see that? No, it's just them doing different sketches. Like there's one where Al plays a male prostitute who is not gay, but he just is giving hand jobs for $5, blow jobs for $10 under the bridge. It's very...
You know, straightforward interview about it's just an economic thing. There's one where they sketch where he's talking about what to do if you have to drink and drive. You've been at a party. You've been asked to leave. Your girlfriend has passed out. You're going to drive, you know.
"Wrap whatever you're gonna hit around the biggest piece of metal you can find." Just advice on drinking. I mean, it was so politically incorrect. At the end, they bring on their parents.
I think he did that. That sounds familiar. Did they do that bit other places? I have seen them. I think so. It's of course not really his mom. But they're so proud of us, blah, blah, blah. And then the mother says one critical thing in the show. She said, they're very good, Al, but do you have to... Like, shut up, mom! The show ends with, fuck you, mom, fuck you, dad. To end a special with...
Fuck you, mom. Fuck you, dad. I just feel like we need more of that. You know? We need to bring that back. And then to think... Yeah, we do. And then to think that that guy went on to be a senator and then be an un-senator for really no good reason. Yeah. I've been an un-senator my whole life, so I'm used to it. I mean, I know Al pretty well. I mean, he took a...
gag photo that they lost their shit about. You know, I mean, there was accusations of, I don't know, it was like his hand was on my back when we took a picture. You know, it was, and the one, some of them were just not credible and it just didn't add up to like, and I don't know, just like people hate weakness and like they hate that way more than whatever the
horrible picture and his hand moved down my back. It's just, and you know, but I don't know if you follow politics. The Democrats
did very well last night compared to expectations. You know, I've shut off social media for the last 24 hours because I didn't want to be part of the horse race. I just wanted to... Just tell me how it ends. We don't know because we have a stupid system where they take months to count the votes in places. It's really going to... The Senate is going to be decided by Georgia, and that won't... They have to have a runoff there. It won't come in until December 6th. Ugh. You know what? I don't know. It's... But...
It's not like we're asking for the check. I mean, I always say it, like, when you read the paper, it does seem like the world is going to hell in a handcart, and it really is. But life has not yet gotten bad. I mean, your life is fantastic, right? I mean, you wouldn't do the road unless you needed to. Yeah. I mean, unless you wanted to. Right, right. You don't need to.
It's fun. You're doing something fun. You're a 60-something-year-old man who's getting up there and singing weird songs and funny lyrics, and people are laughing at you, and you get that drug in your veins of hearing that laughter. And like Bob Hope said, the gardeners don't do it. You've got to get out. You've got to find it. You've got to get that drug.
Man, you're an addict. So what do you do the other six months? So is it six months? Is it always? I mean, there's no schedule. There's no schedule. I mean, you know. No, but if you're six months on, when did this tour start? Doing the math. Yeah, I mean. When did this tour start? This last tour started end of April and just ended like last week. Okay. So now you're off till next April? Yeah.
Or you don't know. The European tour was like February, March. Oh. And after that, no plans. Literally no plans. So now you have like a few months off. Yeah. So what do you do? This.
Hang on. You have a spare room? This is a nice place. I do. I do. No, but really, what do you, you've got? I've got, you know, I haven't seen my wife in a while, so we're reconnecting and doing that. You know, I'll probably like play video games in my underwear for a couple of weeks. You know, just unplugging. Decompressing. Kids? Kids.
I think, yeah, no, there's one. There's one. There is a kid? Yeah, no, I've got a 19-year-old daughter named Nina, and she goes to school back east. Oh, but it's holiday time. You'll see her. Yes, yes. Okay, so what does she want to be when she grows up? She's, well, not sure, but she's majoring in English and environmental science and art. So she'll save the world somehow, I'm sure. Okay. Okay.
So, see you, family time. But, like, that's a lot of hours to fill. Like, if you ask me, like, because I have time. This is when I'm approaching my, like, big break because after, I think, the 25th, which is maybe right after. I know I have two more real times and I have one more, two more stand-up dates for the year, but the last one is Vegas. Like, I think I'm doing Vegas next.
You know what I love about Vegas? The people there, of course, also addicts, gambling addicts. So they don't care about holidays. Even like Christmas Day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, Christmas? Fuck Santa Claus. I'm down $8,000, okay? So I think I'm there Thanksgiving weekend, whatever. After that, I'm off for the rest of the year. And what are you going to do? Exactly. Exactly.
Exactly. But I will give you... You can have Christmas with us, Bill. I don't want Christmas at all. I will give you an answer. You avoided mine. I will give you an answer. I didn't have to avoid your answer. Well, you're very vague. For the amount of hours I feel like reconnecting with my wife, I have a daughter, is very vague. Here's my answer. Like, catch up on masturbation. Okay. Also, just like, I'm a chronic...
So like, I'm sure you're familiar, we know each other well now, I can say the word, with entropy. Yes. Oh, so you are. You play a weirdo, but you're actually a very smart guy. I knew that. Nobody that rich is nuts. But, uh,
Life tends toward entropy, the tendency of everything to go toward randomness. The universe is tending toward entropy. I'm not going to worry about it because Trump is still a lot. But I still worry about the heat death of the universe. That's something that's always on my mind. The hate death of the universe? The heat death. Heat because... At some point, billions of years from now...
It's all going to... What if it's not billions? What if it's faster than we think? Could be. Happens like Thursday. Okay, but entropy. Yeah. Like the tendency of all things to get more random. Like I think the professor I had in college who explained it was like, if you don't tend to your sock drawer,
for like a month, the socks are all messed up and mismatched. Okay, so like all year long, entropy happens. And then I can't stand it, but I don't have time to fix it. And then at the end of the year, I can like sit home for a month
Like, and I really don't have to see anybody or do anything. And I'm just like puttering around the house, organizing. Filing your socks. Filing my socks, you know, winnowing the book.
My books are all by category and in order. My t-shirts are in order. You're the kind of person that has to do it yourself. You couldn't just delegate. Exactly. When I pack for the trip, I always do it myself. I pack just the amount I need. Like,
Like we were away somewhere a few months ago and there was plane trouble and we couldn't leave that night. So we had to stay over one more night. And I was like completely fucked. I had no soap. I had no, you know, like toothpaste. Like I take just the amount I need for the time I'm away. Right. Well, I learned my lesson then.
-Ah, talk about-- -You're lucky you get to peck for two days. I have to peck for six months. -Right. - -How do you do it? -How do you do it? -How do you? So what do you do all day when you're living on a bus? Why do you want to be on a bus in the day? -I sleep in-- I-- I-- I can't-- It's hard for me to sleep on a moving bus, so I usually stay up, like, six or seven in the morning and then sleep until sound check the next day. -Doesn't it smell like exhaust? -Sorry? - -Doesn't it smell like exhaust?
No, I lost my sense of smell a long time ago. Is that right? No. No, doesn't it? If it does, I don't even notice it. I feel like...
The stench of a bus. Maybe I'm remembering from when I used to take the bus in New York and I'd get it at the Port Authority and I just felt like it would carry that smell of busness into outer space. I mean, it doesn't smell bussy. It doesn't? No. Really? Not to me, at least. I mean, it's a nice bus. I'll bet it's state-of-the-art.
I'll bet it's state of the fucking art. What? I'm sure it is. It's nice on a nice bus. So... You're welcome on the bus, Bill. Well, you know, maybe. I'd like to see the bus. Okay.
So what are the accoutrements on the bus? There's a refrigerator. No kidding. It's not like it's got a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. It's got some TVs. It's got a bathroom. It's got a bathroom, a shower, which nobody ever uses. And the bathroom doesn't feel like a bus bathroom, right? It feels more like a private plane bathroom. It's not elaborate, but it's still... Yeah, and I shower...
At the venues, so I wait for that. But are other people on the bus at some point? Well, yeah. I mean, that's how we travel from place to place. Right, of course. So there's other people in your home, basically, for six months of the year, all day. Well, they're like my brothers, so it's... I'm just saying, we're just different people. Yeah. I mean, what about... I've heard, you know, like...
this rule about the bathroom. - Oh, it's totally true. - I hope so. - Yeah. - Just thinking about it, I'm disgusted. - Yeah, yeah. - But that's just something, you know, there's this phrase nature calls. - Right. - I mean, what happens-- - You train your body, Bill. - Really? - You train your body. - Really? - Yeah. - You can't like a dog.
With a little litter box. Yeah. In the front lounge. Holy shit. Yeah. So nobody ever does it in the bus but you. But you can do it in the bus. No, I do not. Even at night when there's nobody there and it's just you? You must. No. Really? Yes.
No number two on the bus. That's the number one rule in rock and roll. So where do you do it? Like gas stations? Well, at the hotel. I mean, the band checks in the hotel, so I'll go into the hotel to use the bathroom. Or if we're at the venue, I use the venue. Okay, so after tonight, I don't want to say this on the air, but you're going to email me your net worth. What?
And depending... Isn't that online? Isn't everything online? Depending on what this number is will determine how much shit I'm going to give you about going to the bathroom at a gas station at your age half the year. Because I have a feeling that's going to be a very big number and you're going to get a lot of shit. Because that's just crazy. I mean, nothing could be... Yes, the roar of the crowd, the smell of the grease paint...
The peals of laughter, the love from the crowd. I agree. That's right up here. And then on the other side, shitting at the Shell station. I got to go with not shitting at the Shell station. That doesn't bother me, though. I see. We're different people. Yeah, we're different people. People, people who need sheeple. Come on, we'll write a new battery for this.
I just saw Funny Girl like last week when we were in New York. I just saw Streisand. There you go. I topped you there, didn't I? You sure did. Was she on the show? No, I saw her at her birthday party recently. Nice. Oh, yeah. We're friends. She's awesome. I love her.
Did you ever do a parody of a tricent? I never did, no. Do you have to get permission from people? It's, you know, every time somebody asks that, I always use the phrase gray area because it is. You know, I don't necessarily need to, but I've made it a policy because I don't like to, you know, step on people's toes. See, that's what I mean. Your name is Weird Al, but you're really this nice, polite, reasonable, I don't want to step on toes guy.
Please, I could just take your song, but that's not what I want to do. I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy. I'm good here at the Shell Station. No, no, no. Leave the light off. It's okay. I'll go in the dark. It's fine. It's my name on the tour bus. It's my talent that's selling all this. But no, no, I'll shit in the Shell Station with everybody else, just like a regular person.
I'm not a special guy. And what can the toilet paper be like in there? I just, I'm obsessed with this and it's... - What kind of toilet paper? - In the shelf station where you're shitting. I mean, it's just like, it's so ridiculous. There must be a way that technology could fix this. So you could have both things. That you could both be on the road
We've got to get Musk or someone smart on this issue. Maybe a house that, like, traveled. Would that work? I don't know. Wouldn't it be better than a bus? A house that travels? Yeah.
I've seen houses on the road when they're moving houses. You ever see that? Yeah, I don't think that's a viable option, though. No? Really? What? Hey, wait. That's not a... Wait a second. If they can carry it, if they can take a house... If you can get a man to the moon. I have seen this, where they're moving a whole house. Yes, I have, too. People don't live in those houses while they're moving.
Why? Some people see a house on the road and they say, why? I see a house on the road and say, why not? Why not? If you can carry it on the road...
Why not live in it on the road? And it is a whole house. They take up like three lanes of traffic, right? I mean, that's like, I don't think that would be, it wouldn't be very popular on the highway. Well, why do they allow them to do it at all? I mean, yes, they do take up three lanes of traffic, but it's not like they say- Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Well-
And I guess getting through the toll booth. Yeah, that as well. On the New Jersey Turnpike is going to present a problem. How do houses get through stuff like that? Or the tunnel looks like it might be a challenge. Yeah.
All right. You've aced me again, Al. You've stalemated me on this. I've taken up enough of your time. But congratulations on the movie. I can't wait to see it, honestly. Well, thanks, man. And since you're, you say you live very near. Yeah.
Everybody lives in LA. I would love to. I've been to your place now. Right. And you've been on Politically Incorrect. Yes. So you say. So I say. I don't know. Well,
It was so long ago, I may not have been. I don't remember it. I don't want to remember it. I don't care. People are like, hey, doesn't pot affect your memory? I'm like, who gives a fuck? Not to the point of I don't remember who I am or what I do or why houses can't be traveled in. I'm obsessed with this. All right. Good luck on your birthday. Appreciate it. Thank you.
Oh, that was fun. We're going to take the rest of the water home with me. So yeah, no, please. That's yours. That's just the way we are here. Where's my dope?