Trace Adkins | Club Random with Bill Maher
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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. I mean, the drinking and the drugs. I got to get away from this or it's going to kill me. Why couldn't you have done it without over-drinking? I don't know. I don't know why I'm quacking any addict. I love working in the north. I love working on a drilling rig. Don't you get oil all over you? Not really. I mean, some days. Don't get up. I wasn't. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

How are you, big man? Doing well. How are you? You look live and in character. Can I fix your drink? No, thank you. You don't drink anymore at all? No, I try not to. Got my hurt. Yeah, yeah. You know, I don't... Not anymore. Not anymore. Yeah, you know what? That's what I got from your last record, which is great. The one you made in the pandemic. Yeah. Such a good record. Oh, thank you. And it's like... It's so...

thoughtful and wistful about your past and you know like looking back at like yeah I used to be in bars with whiskey on my lips but now I got a good woman yeah and so I don't need to do that yeah I'm trying to avoid that that whole get a good woman and then oh yeah well you know what congratulations you've done it for years it takes you out of the bars you know

But, no, you sounded very, I mean, it made me think you were very happy. Man, I am. I'm in a good place these days, you know. And I don't know where I am, but, you know, my life, A to Z. I don't know where I'm at W now, but, you know, doing okay. No, I mean, what are you, 60? 61. Okay. You know, look at Biden. He's 110. Yeah.

And from Transylvania, and he's still, he's the President of the United States, and he's probably going to be running again, you know. So, and, you know, if I'm that way at 80, I'll be fine with it. He's not in bad shape. But if I'm that way at 80, I'm just going to be doing the pelvic thrust on stage at the Grand Ole Opry. I'm not going to have the nuclear codes. Right? Right.

It's a different thing, Bill. Yeah, it's a different thing. I mean, that's why I wouldn't want them in Trump's hands more than Biden's hands. What, do you think Biden is an insane person who's going to fire off a nuclear weapon for no reason? No, but I just... Okay, so just admit it. What? I don't even hardly... The only guy I remember being that old when I was young...

My granddaddy lived to be 83 years old. He was the oldest guy that I think I'd ever known. People lived a lot longer now, right? People lived 110. That's crazy. There was a lady who beat COVID at 103. My mother beat it three times. She's 80-something, 81. Three times? She got it three times. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, and she kicked its ass. Tough old girl. I was going to say, yeah.

Wow, three times. It seems like that shouldn't happen. Like if you get it, shouldn't you have the immune, maybe her immune system? Yeah, you know, the first time she got it was pretty rough. But then the next two times it wasn't very bad. Yeah. She had built up that natural immunity, I suppose. You got it? I got it two times, yeah. You did? First time, I felt good.

Pretty bad for a couple of days. Had you had the vaccine? Yeah. Really? Felt pretty bad for a couple of days. And then the second time I got it, it was really nothing. I didn't. So you didn't think the vaccine had a chip in it to track you? You know what? I don't buy into all of that crap. I know. And I'm like, give me a vaccine for everything that you've got one for. Yeah.

I'll take them. I'm not scared of that shit. No, you've been shot in the heart. Yeah, but I mean, I'm just not, I don't think they're trying to put something in the vaccines to control us. So give me a vaccine for everything. They're definitely not doing that. No. Or that it makes us feminine or whatever. Nah, I didn't notice that either. It'd have to be a hell of a vaccine to make you feminine.

Well, girls love a deep voice. Girls love a country boy. Isn't that one of your songs? That's absolutely right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they like a good one. You know, I don't know what to attribute it to. What, all the women are through themselves at you? I just had game, I guess. I don't know. Well, you're a singer. That's right. You don't have to even know how to speak. Ha, ha, ha.

It doesn't seem like. It's just amazing, the power of music. It's pretty crazy. But also, you're 10 feet tall. You're kind of bigger than life. Oh, I could definitely see why the. That was a long, long time. I know. No, I'm telling you, I feel like every song I heard on your record was all about music.

And I met your girl. She's great. And she's Canadian, right? Yeah, yeah. Because there's that one song that's about like, it's a classic we shouldn't be together song. It all adds up. It all adds up to us. Like, you've got the GMC, and she's got the whatever. I wrote that about her. Oh, I can tell. Yeah. So. You're going to smoke? I'm going to smoke. Yeah. Oh, God. You still smoke cigarettes? Yeah.

Are you nuts? You're like the last person in America who smokes cigarettes then. Really? Am I wrong? Is there a lot of people who? I don't know. I don't care. You know. But it doesn't, you don't worry about your health with those? Yeah, sure, but.

It's the only vice that I have that after I do it, I don't have to apologize to people for what I said or what I did. Right. So let me have this one last one. Just let me have this one. Right.

And as far as weed, I mean, I always have that voice in my head. When I first started trying to get sober and some of those old hardcore alcoholics that had been sober for 20 years, they would tell me, don't do the marijuana program to stop drinking. That's not going to work. It's not going to work. I just remember hearing that. But you never were into weed? I did smoke it.

years ago. I would smoke it every now and then. It got to a point in my life where it made me incredibly paranoid. That's a common effect of pot. It seemed like it kept

getting incrementally worse every time I do it. It would make me more and more and more paranoid to the point that I was just like, I don't want to do it. Like any psychotropic drug you're doing, it has a lot to do with your mood. I mean, it's what's going on in your head. And we don't know, you know, that's the bottom of the ocean, the brain, as far as like things we know about. Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, they know more than they used to, but it's still quite a mystery. And I know, like, I will smoke cigarettes

Like, if I smoke in a hotel room, I get higher. I don't know why. But it has something to do with my mood. I think with the psychological elements in my mind that I'm not aware of that are on the subconscious level. There's something about maybe I feel like... Something that's an environmental thing with you. I don't know. I mean, you know, look, this is not health food either. I'm...

Not claiming that, but I feel like... But does it hurt you? I don't know. It could. I mean, I don't think I would recommend, if I was a doctor, putting smoke in your lungs of any kind. Smoke, I mean, you know, it's probably not. But, you know, like you say, you've got to pick your...

At least with this. These chairs make me feel like I'm squatting to shit in the woods. Do they feel that way to you? Oh, well, I wanted to make you feel at home. Oh, thanks. You asshole. I still like you're still an asshole. And you're probably going to get worse the older you get. No. I will. I'm charming. I'm just, I'm charming you.

Oh, yeah? Is that what you're doing? I recognize it. I love my redneck friends. Well, good, man. We'll keep you alive when the world comes to an end. Well, it's good to have friends on both sides. That's true. I had a guy ask me the other day. He was this younger guy. We were on tour. He was a tour manager for somebody else, but I'd known him for a while.

He recently has had a couple of kids in the last few years and he came to me and he was concerned. I could see it on his face and he was like, I just got to ask you, man, I respect what you think about things. And he said, I got kids now, man. He said, I'm worried. What do you think is going to happen? And I said, it's going to get worse until it's over. Meaning what? That's so vague.

It's just, it's not good. If you're expecting all this stuff to miraculously get, the craziness that we're surrounded with these days. Specifically what? There's so much of it. Well, with children, you know, like if you're bringing little kids up now and the things that are happening, you know, and it just. I could not imagine being a parent. I would be a terror. I wouldn't, I could not accept it.

I think I know what you're talking about. I just could not accept, first of all, I don't even like kids. So the fact that I'm defending them is hysterical. But I just don't think I could take losing the kind of autonomy

That parents have lost over what happens with their own children. Yeah. You know, the idea of calling the cops on my mother, I must say, never occurred to me. Like, it did not cross my mind that, oh, here's an option when I didn't like my parents, when they were making me pissed off at them. I'll call the cops on them.

or report them or, you know, or go, there was no resource. There's no other resources. I'll tell, tell the teacher, tell the teacher, teacher talks to them. That's what I don't think I could bear as a parent. I feel like I would want to be able to raise my kid the way I wanted to raise him and

And some of the women's I got from my old man growing up, I could have called the cops. But you know what? Every other guy that I grew up with could have to. All our dads were the same exact way. You know what I mean? Could they beat you? Not beat you, but they'd take that belt out and put it across your ass when you needed it. You know, that's called beating. They beat you. Yeah, that ain't beating. Well, a belt on your ass is kind of a beating.

I mean, I was spanked. I've had beatings, too. Right. That's not a beating. Right. But, you know, you're all bar fights. You've got to be really careful these days, too, you know.

Get mad at somebody on the interstate or something. Some little UFC fighter liable to jump out of his Hyundai and beat the shit out of you. You know what I mean? Well, that's unlikely. All these kids are into the UFC now. You got to be careful. Well, that's unlikely in the specific. But I will submit the stupidest thing you can do, I think, is ever to...

Honk another driver. I'd never do that. Because you don't know who's in that car. That's right. It just could be some, maybe not a UFC fighter, but just somebody who's borderline. Me. It could be me. It could be you. You don't want to do that. Right. Imagine this man Mountain getting out of the car and saying,

I laugh about it sometimes when somebody does give me the little toot, you know, and I'm just like, you're so stupid, you know. Why? Because you could kill them? I don't know, but it probably wouldn't be enjoyable for them. Right. Yeah. No, I am a cautious person. Like, I will take risks, and I certainly have in my career.

But there has to be consummate reward. There has to be a big reward. I'm not into running across the street against the light if I could save a minute, or hunking people, or anything that's like, oh, who gives a shit? That's such a fake way of being brave. I mean, no brave. Just brave.

Live to fight another day. Don't cause trouble. Happiness, I feel like so much of it is not just what you get. It's what you avoid. Avoid feuds. Avoid debt. And being in a hurry, too. It's like I never did really get in much of a hurry. And these days...

Where am I going? I don't have a job. I don't have to be anywhere really on time. Well, you have something better than a job. Flying somewhere. You have something better than a job. You have a career. Well, I guess. What do you mean you guess? I did have until I came to do this. Now I don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, right.

Right, you've never been controversial before. Oh, look, I've... Well, not needlessly controversial. Look what I found. Oh, you got a little army, man. Yeah, one. These? What do you mean, you found them? I didn't find... These are in... There's a room back there where I call the Museum of the Random, where I have all my shit from childhood. And obviously... Oh, wow. I had a Civil War set. Yeah, you did.

Oh. I'm sure I'm not even supposed to have this. Wow. But they just, I mean, it was the blue and the gray. I think there's a gray. I think there's a. Oh, dude. Yeah, there's a Confederate soldier. You can have that one. Man, you just triggered the perpetually persecuted with these. Triggered.

The perpetually persecuted grievance junkies that wake up every morning looking for something to be pissed off about. You see that dirt on this guy? Yeah. That dirt is from the 60s. That's old dirt. That's old dirt. I've heard the same, old as dirt, but now that's literally, yeah. Did you ever collect army men? I don't remember. What was your childhood like?

What was it like? When you weren't getting beaten by your phone. Oh, my God. No, man, that happened very rarely anyway. And every time it happened, I deserved it. But my childhood was very Norman Rockwellian. Me too. I swear. Me too. It was like it was both sets of my grandparents. I lived in a little bitty town that did not even have a red light. And it was very rural.

And both sets of my grandparents, one set of my grandparents lived about a mile and a half from me, and the other set lived about three miles from me. I mean, everybody was right there. I went to the same school that my grandparents went to, you know, K through 12, all on the same campus. It was just a very idyllic little place to grow up, you know. I mean...

It's funny, you grew up, where is this, Tennessee? Louisiana. Louisiana. Oh, Louisiana, okay. I grew up in New Jersey, which you would think would be so different. I could almost make the same exact description. I think there was, I think we had no traffic lights. There was a Four Corners. Yeah, we had that. Where there was like- And there is a traffic light there now. Okay, that's probably right. There's probably a light there now. Where there was like four stores. Yeah.

which was the subtotal of the industry in town. I remember my father used to complain about the tax base. We'd only get some industry here. Industry? Who's coming to Riverville, New Jersey? Like the Ford Motor Plant is going to open up in this bedroom community. But it was...

Everybody there either worked in the oil field or they worked in the timber industry. And my father worked in the timber industry. He worked for an international paper company at a corrugating plant where they made cardboard. And there was a paper mill there. And a lot of the men worked there. And then I think it was the late 70s, 80s,

The union had just gotten so ridiculous in that paper mill that they had a big meeting. They were trying to have this negotiation between the union and International Paper Company. And International Paper Company sent one representative to this meeting. And he walked in and he said, I'm not here to negotiate with you. I'm here to tell you that we sold this paper mill to a company in Germany and we're shutting it down.

And immediately that place just went into a depression. You're talking about the town?

all those towns around there. So you're saying the Union overplayed their hand? Yeah. And that was where the bad taste in my mouth for Union started. That's when it started, because I saw the devastation that could be caused when they got too big for their britches. You know, my grandfather was a Union captain. I have Union in my bones. My father was a Union lover, straight-up Democrat, Catholic type guy.

And I saw him just crushed in the 70s because he had to go out in sympathy with the engineers union. Technology changed and newsmen and disc jockeys no longer needed an engineer. They could just put a cartridge in the slot and play whatever they had to play. And these guys were just sitting around playing cards all day. And the union fought for those jobs.

And I mean, I guess that's their job, but you got to know when to hold them and when to fold them, right? I mean, like sometimes you're just fighting and you like you say with your father, they just if they overplay the hand, then we tip over the board and the table and the game is over. At some point, you got to go, do I want this job or no job? Yeah. On the other hand, you do need unions. Yeah.

In many industries, I mean, I would think... I would say some. I wouldn't say many, but because of OSHA. I think when the government came along and stepped in and said, you have to have these...

some kind of civilized you know uh conditions for these people to work in you know and uh yeah but once that came in you need someone no it's like having an agent you need someone that's what a union is it's a fucking agent that that you wouldn't want to negotiate you know when you did your series your your agent got whatever the deal was i'm sure it was a nice rich deal for monarch

Okay, you needed an agent. And that's what workers need. They need an agent. They need somebody to negotiate and say, okay, this is our job to know what the number is in your head. And then we're going to give you the number and we're going to get to the right number. And we're going to get you a good salary. You need that agent. That's a union. You need it. Next week's guest is Chris DiStefano. And he stayed and helped me tell you about our sponsors.

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The truth about America is it's, even though there is obviously pockets of cities and suburbs, every state is also country. I mean, California has 4 million Trump voters, and the entire area between San Francisco up to Oregon is very rural. Yeah. I mean, very Alabama-y. Yeah. Pennsylvania. It's been my experience over the years doing this now for 26 or 27 years.

Country music fans are country music fans everywhere you go. It's hard to tell the difference. You can't tell. If you didn't know where you were when you walk out on that stage, you're not going to be able to tell from the reaction of the audience because they all act pretty much the same. I think there's some Midwestern areas that they seem to be a little more reserved.

for some reason, you know. But by and large, man, you generally can't tell the difference where you are based on what the audience acts like. I say the same thing. Yeah. I mean. Because they're coming to see you, and they know who you are, and they know what you're about. Exactly. Same with you. You know, yeah. Right. When we're doing a poll among Trace Adkins fans, probably the question, are you a fan of Trace Adkins, is going to get a very high number.

And yeah, that's the same thing with me. It's like you've got to really fuck it up if people have paid their hard-earned money to see you. Because they're already predisposed. I mean, that's a lot of motivation. Money, get a babysitter, a rain. I mean, the last thing I ever want to do in this whole world is ever disappoint an audience.

They're coming set on having a good time. And you've got to give it to them. You just try not to screw it up. Right. And I don't, and I'm sure you don't either. No, you don't, man. I saw the last special you had. It was great. Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. It's awesome, man. Adulting and all that. Yes, adulting. That's great. I'm glad you wanted to say that. Yeah, I loved it. It's amazing how so much has changed. My whole act has changed. I mean, I'm not going to lie.

Life changes fast. I was reading, like, most Gen Z kids think that the country is worse off than it was 50 years ago. And you just wish you could show them what 1973 looked like. Because I remember 1973. I guess you were just...

a little younger than me, but you remember. You were alive. Yeah. And I mean, just what TV looks like. These kids don't remember when people used to drive down the road and just throw trash out the window. I do. I do too. Yeah. Trash was everywhere. That's not really anything. Nobody does that anymore. Right. Yes, I see your point. Yes, right. We've improved on almost everything. Yeah. Yeah.

And they just seem to want to... I feel like when you're a social justice warrior, you need more injustice than perhaps is in front of you to fix at any moment, partly because the earlier generations did a lot of the heavy lifting. But it's the work ethic. What? Don't you think it's the work ethic? Well... That is, I mean... Well, yes. I mean, partly...

They leave school without knowing anything, which I feel is a problem as far as schooling goes. It's just astounding to me how they will let kids out of high school and not know things. And now we know, especially with the pandemic, the reading and math scores are like...

As far as proficiency, for like fourth and eighth grade, they're like in the 20s and 30s. Like 20%, 30% of the kids are proficient in reading. So not only can't they think, they couldn't even start to because they can't read now. And there's no discipline.

I mean, you can't have success in this life without having some kind of discipline. I mean, you just said you have a whole new show that you've written now. That requires discipline and dedication and work. I mean, it just, you know what I mean? No, look, we're lucky because our work is fun. Yeah. That's a big difference. I can't compare myself to someone who was like, oh, you know,

They're cutting the heads off chickens on a conveyor belt at the Tyson plant. That's not fun. I realize that all the time. I remind myself of that all the time. I won the lottery. I get to earn a living doing something that I love to do. Thank God, man. I love it.

So blessed and fortunate. I mean, I'm sure I didn't have the kind of colorful shit jobs that you've had. I know you were an oil rigger. I loved that job, though. Really? I loved working in the oil field. I loved working on a drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Don't you get oil all over you? Not really. I mean, some days. Some days, yeah. Some days you would get filthy, but other days, you know. Why? I mean, you needed to finish your 12-hour tour first.

dirty or your boss wouldn't think you'd see work 12 hours in a row. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. 14, 14 days on 14 days off.

12 hours a day. Why do they arrange it like that? Because then you go home. It goes offshore, yeah. Oh, I see. Yeah, you'd stay out on the rig for two weeks. So you work for 14 days straight, 12 hours a day. See, it's almost like doing a movie. You only have time to do the thing and then sleep. There you go. That's what it was. Except it's not really like doing a movie because you're fucking full of oil. So I'm fascinated by this. This was offshore Louisiana? Yeah.

I see. And what, so you, what happens? You catch the oil in the sea and you bring it up like fish? What, like, it's a, I've seen video of it, obviously, but like, it looks like there's a big thing on the, so what are you doing? How are you getting the oil from the, from the sea? Poking a hole in the ground, yeah. Yes, but how, but then when it comes up on the ship, you're putting it in barrels? Yeah.

But sometimes they will lay a pipeline. Usually they'll lay a pipeline from the platform back to the shore, to those big... Oh, right, of course. So you're just monitoring how it's coming up through the... I didn't do the production end of it. I just did the drilling part. We...

Somebody finds the oil, which in the Gulf of Mexico, it's very hard to drill a well in the Gulf of Mexico that you're not going to hit oil. It's everywhere. We would drill the wells, and then sometimes we would test the well to see if it was a good well. I don't know what the numbers were and how they judged that, but it's

Then we would just cap it off, and then we would move on to another location and drill another well. And then somebody else would come in behind us with a workover rig, a production rig, and put the well. But you're on the boat the whole time. No, I was on a jack-up. What's that? It's a big, huge barge.

that has legs on it, and you get towed to the location. Oh, I see. And then the legs go down to the ocean floor, and then you literally jack the whole barge up out of the water, and then you drill the well. And you do this in one day? Oh, no. Months and months. Oh. Yeah. On one place like that? Yeah, one place. Why? Because it's just so long to get the thing in the ground? It takes a long time, you know, to drill 10,000 or 12,000 feet.

Oh, I see. Yeah. Why? Because the drill gets stuck on shit? It gets pretty hard once you get on down there and you've got to drill through these layers of rock and stuff. But how can you control the drill from up top on the ocean? Oh, man, those guys are brilliant. I mean, the technology is just, they know exactly which, and they can make that bit go whichever direction they want it to go.

You could sit in one spot and drill wells out there, out there, out there. And how do you know when you hit the oil? You'll see it. It'll start coming back in the mud, the mud that you use to get the cuttings out of the hole. You'll start because you're always testing the mud to see. And then you'll see it'll start coming back. Or you might take a kick, and you'll know you've hit it. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. And you liked this? I did, man. I did, you know, because I swear, you know, it was, I worked, I was a roughneck and then I started working derricks. I was a derrick hand and, you know, I, shit, I was the cock of the walk, man. And it was a very, very,

competitive environment. It was like, because when I quit playing college football and then I started working in the oil field, it was like, it was a continuation of a team sport almost. It's a lot of guys, right? It's a lot of guys? It was a lot of guys. There were 40 or 50 men on that rig. But just men?

You know, a female engineer would come out from time to time, not very often. So for half your life, the 14 days you're on, you're just in an atmosphere of all men. Yeah. And you like that. Hey, you know...

Don't you dare. I'm not driving in anything. Oh, really? It kind of feels like you are. No, man. It was a very competitive kind of thing. And it was like, I felt like I was the best hand on that rig. And if you think you're a better hand than I am, let's go at it. Let's see who can, you know. A lot of guys offshore doing a lot of drilling. There's nothing gay about this. I never saw that. Yeah.

Maybe it happened. I don't know. Really? Not with me. I don't know. Right. OK, so then you go back. Tell me about the 14 days when you're back home, because then you're not working. So this is when the Trace Adkins legend becomes... Started getting out of, yeah. Right, because you must be just partying the whole time, right? Well, no, no. But it did allow me to start...

hook up with a band and start playing clubs on the weekend. Oh, really? So it allowed me to start doing that. And then it kind of just started to get bigger and bigger and bigger to the point that I finally took a leave of absence from my oil field job and went on the road and started playing clubs in Texas. And then that six-month leave of absence turned into four and a half years

And then finally, I got to a point where I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and said, five years ago, I wouldn't have been caught hanging out with somebody like you. And I quit. When did that happen? It was 89. Really? You stopped getting into trouble in 89? No. Stopped getting into trouble? No. I just quit playing clubs. And I went back to work in oil field. Oh, you went back? Why? Because I thought I was going to kill myself.

I mean, the drinking and the drugs and just, it was just, you know, I could see myself just shriveling up. And it was like, you know, I got to get away from this or it's going to kill me. Why couldn't you have done it without over-drinking and drugs? I don't know. I don't know why. Why can any addict not stop? Do you think you're really an addict? You're not just a guy who was partying too hard?

You know what, man? I think I must be because so many things have happened to me in my life and most of the bad stuff that's happened to me in my life, almost exclusively, I can...

I can say, yeah, I was drunk or I was under the influence of something. But I feel like a lot of that is because you sing about it. All countries do. It seems to be always on your mind. And there's so many songs about drinking and over-drinking and the problems of drinking. And it's like, I feel like you're self-hypnotizing yourselves into being drunks. I don't do a lot of those anymore. I know, but like,

Is that a ridiculous theory? No, I just think, no. I don't think the song came first and then you started. This is not a chicken or egg type of thing, I think. I see. You're saying you're writing about... You're writing about what you've already done. You may be right about that. That's been my experience. No, I understand.

Well. But anyway, where was I? Oh, it doesn't matter. It was a boring story. No, I'm fascinated by the oil rig thing. And the fact that you would go back to it. I did go back to it. I stayed out there for another three years. And then I got that phone call from a guy that was my manager that had booked me in clubs in Texas and New Mexico. And he had since moved to Nashville. He called me one day and he said,

He said, you singing anymore? And I said, I don't even sing in the shower. I'm done. And he said, well, one of these days, you're going to have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself the question, I wonder what would have happened if. And I said, if what? Really?

And he said, if you would have thrown down the pom-poms and gotten the game, he said, this is where you need to be. Wow. He said, you need to come to Nashville. This is where they make what you want to be, you know. What year was this? 92. 92. So, you know, and I didn't immediately do it. I thought about it for a while. And then the…

That thought of having to look at myself in the mirror someday and ask myself that question scared me worse than selling the house and going to Nashville. So I ended up finally doing that. Were you married at the time? Did you have children to consider? I wasn't married at that time, but I got married soon after that. And I had a couple of girls from my first marriage. Right. Yeah. So...

So that guy really is the guy who changed your life, boy. You should send him a fucking case of steaks every Christmas. Well, we lost him a couple years ago. Well, never mind. Yeah, I loved him. He was great. And his son is helping me now. He's tour managing and stuff. Oh, wow. He's great. I'm surprised at how much country music I have in my iPod.

Like, not, it's definitely not the preponderance. Yeah. But over the years, you know, and there's probably one, you should probably tell me who I should, like, fucking download. Because I don't know a lot of them. But, like, you know, I love you. You know what, I just. Brooks and Dunn. Yeah, they're great. Ronnie Dunn, one of the best country singers ever. Don't have anything by him. Don't know him. That's Brooks and Dunn. Oh, that's Brooks and Dunn. Okay. Yeah.

And Kid Rock, I would say, is sort of in that category, like Redneck Rock. I love a lot of that stuff. Oh, I'm sure there's others I'm leaving out. Yeah, Kid Rock's kind of Bobby's southern rock, rap country, something like that. Not rap. You can't put him in a box.

Yeah, but he doesn't rap much. Most of his albums are not. There's maybe one song that's not what I like about him. But I mean, I don't mean the rap. I mean, he has that hip hop vibe. He's got that, you know, kind of that. I just heard, I really had not heard of this Jason Aldean guy. Oh, yeah. But I don't know his stuff. Is he good? Yeah. Yeah, man. Jason toured with us.

years ago probably I bet it was right it was right when he first came out probably about 15 years ago we did a tour together and he went out with us for a few months so he's in trouble because he is I actually love the name of this song tried out in a small town right this is a one I'm thinking of yeah that's yeah and I had I had no idea about it I

I hadn't heard the song. I don't keep up, man. I don't listen to the current country stuff. I haven't heard it either, but I read. I mean, the people writing about it constantly. And I believe Coleman Hughes. You know who that is? Brilliant, right? Brilliant. I've had him on real time. He's young, I would say 30, black, and brilliant. And he basically said it was...

a smear job because he said, first of all, they shot it in front of this courthouse where they lynched somebody 100 years earlier. He said, Jason Aldean probably didn't know that. Had no idea. Yeah, that they've used this in other movies. It's in like Hannah Montana or something. It just, you know, the people who just want to get you are the ones who piss me off. And then there was...

I felt like there was no smoking gun of like, you know, there's just different kinds of Americans. You can't bully the people who grew up in Tennessee or Louisiana into being you. This sounds like Jason Aldean, it sounds like he's a country guy. This is the kind of shit he's into and the kind of stuff he thinks Christianity, all that stuff. It's not my jam, but

You can't bully people into not being who they are, and they are no worse than you, is my take on that. But again, I haven't really dealt with it. It's just it's all so silly anyway. I mean, you know, the grievance junkies turn on somebody and they try to cancel them and

And all it's going to do, he's going to sell more records than he ever has. And it's just, he's going to make him bigger than he's ever been. And it's just, that's just. And the other, the other guy. Because he's not, he's not, he did, he had no idea, man. You know, you know how many music videos I've done that I'm,

Called up the director and went, hey, man, now what about this location where we're shooting this thing? And if I did do that, it would only be because I didn't know where I was going. You know what I'm saying? But it's like he had no idea.

You know, that director picked that location because it had the look they wanted it to look. It's a look. It was just a small town courthouse. Yes. You know, that's all it was. And it happened to be close. It's like it's not the way to fight racism by just making shit up to point your finger at somebody. And who's the other guy who got in trouble for it? But it hurt him not at all. I think he's fine.

He's a giant. Oh, Morgan Wallen? There you go. He sold out two nights in a row, 55,000 plus tickets each night. God, cancel me. You know? Yeah. And I just, you know, maybe I'm naive, but I just don't think these people are racists. He's, man, I've been around both of those guys. They're good guys. You know, there's no...

Not racist. It's just a shame that we can't get past the past. Yeah. You know? And yeah, I mean, look, I love playing your part of the country because the audience I get is a mostly liberal audience, but they're not the stick-up-their-ass liberal types in Oklahoma. No. You know what I'm saying? Anytime you, even if you're in a red state, when you're in the city,

You're in a blue part of the red state. Right. So, you know, I've been in Alabama and the people look exactly like they look everywhere else that come to my show. Right. And, you know, but they just don't have that sort of like nose in the air kind of how dare you, like I'm waiting for you to say the wrong thing attitude. They're like, we're here to have fun. It's a fucking comedy show. Yeah. I love...

Stand-up comics. I always have. I've been a fan. I go to Zany's fairly regularly. We're the best. Little club there in Nashville. Really? You do? You go to Zany's? I played Zany's a million years ago. Do you know how hard it would be for me to go hear comedians or see comedians if I only chose to listen to conservative comedians? Yes.

There wouldn't be very many. I would never get to go to a show, you know. I can appreciate the comedy. It's interesting, though. Yes, not a lot of what I would call conservative comedians, but there's a lot more conservative themes in comics like me.

Bill Burr, a good name, Dave Chappelle, lots of people. Because the left is crazier. Because they're spotlighting the absurdity. Yes, because we are comics. Because that shit's funny. Exactly. Absurdity is funny. We go where the comedy is. There you go. We go. Absurdity is funny. Exactly. So if you're going to be absurd, you're. I'm going to make fun of you. And you're, yeah.

And you deserve it. And you deserve it, exactly. And it should tell them something that people are laughing that it rings true.

Because laughter is involuntary. That's the one really great thing about it. You can be the biggest comedy star in the world. I saw it happen back when I was starting out in the clubs and Rodney Dangerfield would walk in as some big star and the crowd would go wild. And he got about a minute of grace time when they were just kind of nervous laughter if he wasn't really funny. After that,

You've got to earn your wings every minute up there. I know. No matter who you are, you can't, people cannot. That's why I've said I've got such respect for what you guys do because you're working without a net, man. You are correct. You've got no net. I've got those five or six guys standing up there on stage with me. I've got my gang. Exactly, pussy. You know? Yeah, I've got my muscle. You know? You don't like what I'm doing, you're going to have to deal with these guys. Well, you know.

Yeah, but you're up there by yourself and you, yeah, I got just crazy respect for what you guys. One of the Beatles in the great anthology said, when they were asking about Elvis, and they said, I think it was Georgie said, you know, with us, there was the four of us. So whatever we were going through, no matter how crazy it was, we had each other. But Elvis, you know, he only had himself.

It's like, oh, that's so true. God, I hate that I missed Elvis. I wish I would have had a chance to see Elvis. Oh, he's still alive. He's working at the 7-Eleven. You know? Yeah. I mean, I... You never met him? No. Of course not. No. Well, he died in 77. Yeah. You could have been a teenager. I remember one time Penn Jillette said to me, he said,

If you ever get into an argument with somebody that's from another country and they're talking, you know, extolling the grand things that their country has given the world, you know, he said you can always win that argument with one word, Elvis. Wow.

He was the first cult of personality in modern history. Well, I don't know about that. Well, who else was there? Charlie Chaplin. Oh, my God. That's not modern history. Of course it is.

I mean, but yes, Charlie Chaplin was a star of almost unbelievable magnitude by our standards. I mean, he was paid the kind of money that would sound impressive today when the movies cost like a penny and, you know, a house cost $12,000. Okay, well then let me narrow. Let me narrow it. Like the headline in the paper when he went back to London, I think, was just, he's here.

You know, it was big. There were big people. But look, there are people who will argue about Mr. Gillette's theory about Elvis. I'm not one of them. I've always been since about age 14 when it was 1970. And I had not paid attention to Elvis before. But I really hadn't paid attention to music until I was about 12.

So I got into the Beatles. And Elvis, in my mind at that time, was always this old dude who was before my time and corny rock and rolls, hibble swips. And then...

I heard a couple of songs that he did around that time, which is the time I love Elvis. When he got out of the movie contract from Suspicious Minds until he died, he put out some amazing shit. And he wasn't fat until the last two years. Very mature. I mean, Burt Bacharach wrote Any Day Now for him. And I mean, some great stuff. But yeah. Well, there was...

There was no roadmap for Elvis. I mean, there's no musician that had ever experienced. He was the first, you know?

that that just that phenomenon that was yes i mean i think bing crosby was certainly a matinee idol star but no you're right bing crosby was huge probably in the 30s he was not elvis sinatra in the fifth in the oh wait sinatra was like the bing crosby was the 20s sinatra in the

Late 30s, early 40s was Elvis-esque. Yes. It was a phenomenon. It was a happening when he went someplace. Just this intense excitement that you felt around where he was and what he was doing.

And of course, the women must have been insane. OK, well-- But Elvis certainly-- I'll let you have all those also-rans. I'm going to stick with Elvis. No, I love Elvis too. You can't get me on Elvis. OK. I see-- Well, stop arguing with me then. Well, I'm just giving him the reality. I mean, he was-- and then the Beatles really outdid Elvis. There was much more of a worldwide phenomenon with the Beatles. Beatlemania was worldwide. But they were huge Elvis fans.

Yes, they were. Yeah, absolutely. Although he also disappointed them. I mean, Paul McCartney and I think Lenin said we loved him from 56 to 58. And then when he got out of the army in 1960, there was something that was missing. And they're not wrong.

I mean, that whole 60s was a lost decade. It was a lot of, it was what he called the travelogues. It was like, he did 29 movies. I mean, about 25 of them were Fun in Acapulco and Girls, Girls, Girls. I know. Just these silly things. There was the same script in a different location and forgettable songs. But when he came out of that, I mean, he did have a great final act, I think, musically. If you listen to that stuff...

from the early 70s. But, you know. I remember when I was a kid, my aunt, my dad's younger sister, they didn't have a television. And the only time that she would come to our house and spend the night would be on a night when an Elvis movie was coming on. She would come to our house and spend the night so she could watch the Elvis. And she and my mother would sit up and watch the Elvis movie

You know, I just remember that when I was a kid. I just realized that. That's so strange.

I thought the movie, did you see the movie? I saw some of it. I don't know. There was something about it that made it just, it was almost unbearable. It was so... Well, I thought the performance was great. Yeah, the guy did a good job. I didn't think the movie was great. I didn't either. And, I mean, I don't think they, I mean, I understand they tried to capture...

You know, the thing where he called out the colonel from the stage in Vegas? Yes. He would never have done that. So much of it was bullshit. As someone who knows the biography, that's what bothered me, one. Two, I don't think Tom Hanks, as great an actor as he is, was right for the part of Colonel Tom Parker. Didn't seem like it. He's too good. He's too nice. He's fucking Tom Hanks. I needed some scumbag.

Because that is the tragedy of Elvis. What did Elvis die of? Bad management. Damn right. Bad management. He died of bad management. Everything that he did and everything that he was, think of what he could have been. Could have been. The colonel wouldn't let him go overseas where he was adored. And yet he never played Paris. He never played London.

Yes, because the Colonel was a... Colonel couldn't go. Couldn't go. And the movie contract, and the fact that Elvis was this pathetic hillbilly who could not stop himself, apparently, from letting this father figure...

Again, I thought that was rather clumsily portrayed in the movie, but, you know, maybe it did well and I'm being picky. But, you know, that's the tragedy of Elvis, that he could not get away from that shadow. And I mean, he didn't do the star is born.

He was offered The Star is Born with Barbra Streisand. And I think the story was he would not accept second billing. And you don't want to get into that fight with Barbra Streisand. No. And you shouldn't. So the colonel, I didn't know that story. She was a much bigger star at the time. So the colonel wouldn't let him do it because he wasn't getting top billing. Is that what happened? I don't know. Right. But probably the colonel just didn't want him ever to...

It's very Howard Hughes-ian. You know the way Howard Hughes had these Mormons around him who kept him insulated? And Howard Hughes had an inclination to go back into the real world. He didn't want to be this recluse, but they would scare him.

back every time germs germs howard there's germs out there and he'd crawl back into his cell that he made for himself pissing into bottles because he was afraid of germs he'd be perfect for covid he would have been he'd be a regular dr fauci but okay so but elvis was kind of like

wanting to expand and the colonel scared him every time into going back to his ruts. I mean, he worked him like a mule. People don't realize the day he died, he was scheduled to go to Portland, Maine. I've been to Portland, Maine. I have too. Okay.

We said, poor Portland. We'd say it with such resignation. I went there in the winter. Portland was, oh, wow. You do love show business. I did a winter tour one time. Wow. And what I was told when I was convinced to go do it was, man, you're going to love it, man. You go up north, way up north, and you do this winter tour. And these people all have cabin fever. And they come out to the shows and lose their minds. And? And?

Well, that didn't help. I was miserable. Couldn't get off the bus. You know, I mean...

It was hard to get from one show to the next. And then when you got there, you didn't want to... It was all I could do to get off the bus and get to the door to get in the venue, you know, because I just... It was brutal. Yeah. Oh, my God. And I'd go on stage and I'd just like, what's wrong with you people? Right. Why do you live here? Right. You know? I've been to...

It's been a long time since I've traveled in the cold. Yeah, that's the only winter tour I ever did. Right. No, I don't understand why people... I mean, obviously people have economic limitations and family limitations. And also people just like living near where they grew up. Most people don't leave. Well, in the summers are nice. Yeah. There's somebody known as...

Cheshire man, I think he's called. It's this town in England, Cheshire. I think I'm saying it right. I may be getting it wrong. And they found the skeletons of a 9,000-year-old

ancestor, human ancestor, 9,000 year old. And they traced his DNA back to someone who still lives in the town. Wow. In 9,000 years, this family moved like a block. It says something about humans. Are you kidding? That's true. I'm not kidding. No. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So, I mean, that's one reason. People just... They need to get out. I mean, really. But have you ever been to Canada, like, in the winter? Like, it's 10 degrees, and they're wearing short-sleeved shirts. They just adapt. Humans adapt. I went to my wife's parents for Christmas this past Christmas, and I shoveled snow for four days.

to get just for four days. You earned some husband points there. I did. I hope you got rewarded. Man, it was. I swear the snow was above my head. Right. Oh, wow. Especially after I'd shoveled it all off the drive. Right. It was crazy. The things you do for love, right? Yeah.

I was just doing it so I could get to the store and get some cigarettes. Wait, that's not so romantic. It's not at all. I know. But that's why I had to get out. But your songs are so romantic. I mean, you really are romantic. I mean, a lot of your songs. I mean, even that one about the old lady who fucked you when you were a kid. Oh, my God. I wasn't a kid.

I was legal. I was legal. Is that true? Yes. Was that your virginity? No. No, but it's true. How old was that lady? She was 36. Well, another row. And you were 18? 19. And she called you honey child.

See, that's what made me think she was older. She's like 70. She didn't call me honey, Chuck. You made up the whole... No, I didn't make up the whole thing, but that, I just thought, man, that's a cool little...

That's a cool little turn, you know, when she called me honey child. And then I'm going to pour this on you and make it taste like honey child. No, you're a clever lyricist. Well, I didn't write that. Oh, really? No. But the story's true. Jesus Christ. How disappointing. You don't write all your own? Not all of it. Oh. Man, why would I? I swear, you know, see...

How do you get material like that in Nashville? There's just so many people who are writing songs, and you go there, and you throw your big money around because you're a big star. One of the things is I've become... I had a dear friend of mine who has since passed away, but he was a songwriter. We wrote a lot of songs together, and he just told me, he said, man, you've become the laziest good songwriter that I know. And the reason he said that was because...

If a hook comes to me or a melody comes to me and I think on it for a while, and then I think, okay, which songwriter in my Rolodex is that idea in his wheelhouse? And then that's who I'll call, and I'll pick up the phone, and I'll go, hey, Monty, or hey, Casey, or Rivers, or, you know, whatever.

And then that's your writing partner on the song? Yeah. So you write it together. Here's my idea. Oh, so you like to write it with somebody. Yeah. I love to write, too, with piano players. I don't play piano. Right. And I would rather write with a piano player. Do you write the lyrics and the music at the same time? Usually. No, usually I'll have a basic idea of what the chord progression and the melody may be.

But then there are other guys too that I work with that I'm like, I don't like this melody. I know there's a better one out there. And so I'll get with somebody that's really good at melodies and we'll come up with something better. And some of these songs I hear today, it's like, why don't you guys take a couple more days? You got it to that point and then you just said this is great.

you turned it in and you said, this is good enough. If you just let it rest and let your ears rest for a couple of days and go back and listen to it again, you could have made it better. I hate it when I hear hooks in songs.

And then the song just wasn't, they didn't write it. They just didn't write it. They got it close enough and then they quit. And Lynn said, that's good enough. I hate that, man. You wasted a good hook because you got lazy and you didn't finish the song. But I can't say anything because I'm the laziest songwriter in the world. Really? It doesn't sound like it. I think

When I think about country music now, what's different about it, what I, I mean, I don't like any song unless I like the song. The lyrics can be the greatest thing in the world. Doesn't matter if the song isn't good. And it doesn't work on the reverse. The lyrics can be shit.

They're better if they're good, but I don't care. If I like the song, I've listened to zillions of songs, I can name some, where the lyrics are shit. Yeah. Or just gobbledygook. Yeah. You know, get back. What does that mean? I don't ever want to write anything that I don't,

think at least said it said something at least mildly profound at least to me or what i'm saying and that's not a very high bar no you know what i mean but it's got to say something at least mildly profound to me or whatever it's got to be very clever clever this is what i was getting at yeah country music that i feel is a little different

Humor. Humor. A lot of it is funny. A lot of your stuff is funny. All the ditties that I've done in my career, what people call ditties, I think they're cleverly written and they're funny. I left something turned on at home. That's clever. It's very clever. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk is clever. Yes, it is. It's cleverly written. I like that. And I can say that. I didn't write it. It's cleverly written. Yes.

But that's like, I love something turned on at home, which is something you would not hear in pop music. They would just not write that. No. And that's why you have to go to country music for things like that. It is clever. But again, I wouldn't like it if I didn't like the song. I like it better the way I do it now than the way I recorded it back then, too. You know, it's evolved into something completely different.

I listen back to those first few albums that I did. I'm better at what I do now than I was when I... Me too. Sorry about that, people that bought those records. I think the same thing. I'm better now. Right. I could look at my first two or three HBO specials, and they wouldn't be as good as adulting.

And I would know that. This is why I would never look at them. But yeah, you can't be, you know, I was 29 or whatever. You can't be more than you are. I appreciate people who appreciated me at the time. And you know, there are some people who think we're worse. Oh, well. Who like, you know, that's just taste. I don't think they're right. Yeah, man. You know, music appreciation is an opinion and everybody's just different, you know. And that's cool.

I'm glad that there are a few people out there that like what I do. Yeah, it's a good thing. It's a great thing to think, and you have every right to think, that your last one was your best one.

You don't want to be in that place. I mean, athletes are always in this place where they think, oh, Christ, I'm 35 and I peaked five years ago? That's rough. Yeah. You know? There's also the, I listen to my voice now as opposed to 30 years ago. And when I listened to my voice back then, I can't hardly bear to listen to it. It sounds thinner and it doesn't have that, I don't know.

No, smoking and drinking definitely did a lot of good things for your voice. Thank you. Yeah. I think it's just smoother. Oh, it's very unique. It's great. You know, and that's a good thing. Why you're not doing a million voiceovers, I don't know.

I do enough, man. I do enough to keep me busy, and I enjoy doing it. And that's the thing about having a voice like this that I thank God I was blessed with. I mean, it's just the older I get, it's going to get better. Listen to James Earl Jones. My God, he's been saying this to CNN for 40 years. You know who I thought was better post-'60? Sinatra.

Yeah. His voice got quite different. I mean, he also was the material he chose. Yeah. You know, I mean, he's another one like Elvis. I didn't, I would never, I mean, I wasn't around for that early Sinatra voice.

time but you know yeah i don't except for uh it might as well be swing the one with bassy that's a great album if for that you know it's like mid 50s and america's feeling good about itself i mean obviously it was not diverse that that's one of the things still on my to-do list that i've

been threatening to do for the last decade and I haven't done it yet but I tend to I want to do a crooner record before I go out a crooner record wow you know just go back and cover some of those

Some of those old classics. Quarter to three. One more for the road. Stuff like that. No one in the place. Exactly. Except you and me. I want to do it. Because I think it would be fun to do. Stick them up, Joe. Give me all your money.

♪ Negative one for my baby ♪ ♪ And one for the road ♪ - All right, well, I can't thank you enough. - Because I don't do stuff for the money anymore. I asked the question, would that be fun to do? Obviously, I don't do stuff for the money anymore. - I know. - You're not paying me. - I appreciate it. - Right. - I really do. - If I hadn't been here, I wouldn't have come. - Glove. - I wanted to come by here and just sit around and shoot the shit with an old friend. - I know you did, and I'm so glad you did.